#i dont know what i can offer. my ability to do art has been really really low and with my sleeping/living arrangements my wrists shoulders

[rudeboimonster]

~help your local rat get stable housing~

edit post nov 2023: I GOT THE HELP I NEEDED THANK YOU SOSOOSO MUCH

dramatically sprawled out on the floor

so i gotta move for the third time in that many years. unfortunately between health problems and the General State of The Economy, I have been unable to find work to be able to save any money. i have no choice but to leave the entire state. i thankfully have somewhere to go, however I need help getting there. i've been trying to do the math to get what I need to its lowest amount possible, but even that is still at least $2.5k.

after this move, i should be able to get things more stable and I might even have a couple job prospects lined up in that area, but right now I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel funds wise and desperately need help.

if you're able to spare anything, i've set up a goal through kofi so i can track it publicly. i have trouble asking for help but i really need what help i can get. thank you, so so so much.

#mutual aid #fundraiser #help #god i dont know what to tag this im just kinda ripping off the bandage bc ive been anxious about posting about this since i got asked to #leave. head in hands. please help by spreading the word if you cant spare any cash i completely understand. #i dont know what i can offer. my ability to do art has been really really low and with my sleeping/living arrangements my wrists shoulders #back have been in fucking wretches states so its hard for me to do much #if youre wonder about the other fundraiser i did a few years ago #the person i replaced in a renting situation ended up fucking me over and got basically evicted into the 2nd week of college and i had 3 da #to leave that situation or more people wouldve gotten fucked over. and ive been basically couch surfing since trying to find work #anyways i havent slept in a bed for more than a weekend since october 2021 my back is turbo fucked please help

[kiwiana-writes]

I dont think anyone subscribes to you for t rated 5 +1s in your own au lol. Chop chop with those wip’s porn girl!

Well. Quite a bit to unpack here on an otherwise unassuming Friday!

#1:

#2: I actually track this stuff. Admittedly the E-rated percentage is a bit higher if you look at RWRB only, but overall...

#3: I think anyone who subscribes to me on AO3, or indeed anyone who follows the kiwiana-writes tag here on tumblr and sees all those fucking WIPs, knows that I like to write a bit of variety. That's not to say there aren't definite underpinnings of, like, themes and vibes that I return to over and over (which I can only assume are why people subscribe to me), but if someone only likes my college AUs, or only likes my post-canon stuff, or only likes my E-rated stuff, or only wants to listen to my podfics, they're probably going to have a much more successful time saving the tag search than subscribing to me at the author level. Or they've mastered the art of archiving and moving on without complaining about it, like I do when the authors I'm subscribed to write something that doesn't interest me. It's a useful skill! I highly recommend cultivating it.

#4: AO3 not giving series stats is and continues to be the bane of my life, but based on the number of people who subscribed to the OG actor AU, there's probably a significant chunk of people who aren't subscribed to me as an author and only want the actor AU verse stuff. And good for them! I LOVE that AO3 offers multiple ways to subscribe so you can get notified for the stuff you want (my kingdom for the ability to subscribe to individual pseuds, though.)

#5: This fandom is OVERFLOWING right now. Like, I can't keep up. You only want to read E-rated stuff? Awesome! Well over 100 E-rated fics have been posted in the RWRB bookverse tag just this week (it looks like most of the movieverse smut has also been tagged bookverse, but either way it's also very easy to find). Or go back to older fics and find some hidden gems—there's nothing an author loves more than for someone to come in and gush about a fic they wrote a year or two ago.

#6: You don't pay me, and I'm not subject to annual review. One of my favourite authors was talking this morning about how sometimes she thinks about taking a break from writing for RWRB because it's starting to feel a little rat racey, and that would suck for me personally because I love her stuff but god knows I couldn't blame her, because the (extreme minority but still exhausting) entitled comments and rudeness really do not help. Stop treating your favourite authors like content creators who owe you something new on a regular schedule, because that's a damn good way to ensure they don't want to create anything new ever again. Like... anon, you haven't even bothered to couch this in a compliment. The bar is ten feet underground and somehow you still managed to trip over it.

#7: Not to be all 'back in my day' but... well, back in my day, snippets and peeks into the universe of a remotely popular longfic were pretty much the standard lol. Nobody is forcing you to read them, I promise.

#8: I've posted two E-rated fics in the last two weeks.

#9: Honestly I just really want to reiterate #1 because what the hell lol. While pronouns don't equal gender, it's pretty reasonable to extrapolate from pronouns if you don't have any other info to go on—and of the three "main/standard" pronouns, the one most closely associated with 'girl' is the only one that ISN'T in my bio 🤦

#anonymous

[ilikecheeseandchocolatee]

Okay a lot more people than I imagined are on tumblr and criticising the people who are anti ai art. Which is probably the first time im seeing the tumblr user base really buy into capitalism stuff I guess. I’m going to summarise the technical stuff in this post, especially for AI art supporters to read.

Thats not the point. The point is not that AI is stealing the jobs of artists. I don’t know if that was EVER the point but it has never been with me. The point is that the way AI art is made is not only unethical but in certain respects also illegal, but those companies have some legal workarounds.

I dont know if this is a thing in the US but I do Further Maths, and one of my modules is Decision Maths. We learn about algorithms, how to make them, how to interpret them, and so on. And as a young programmer I’ve known about algorithms for a long time before this. Algorithms can be wonderful, they can make long tasks so much simpler, easier, quicker. Basically algorithms can be really smart. But they can’t be creative. Algorithms do not have the ability to be creative. They take take input and give you output based on what they’ve been coded to do, but they cant just think up something completely by themselves – thats not how algorithms work, or are made.

That being said, I need to now talk about how AI art algorithms work. I know a lot of people know about this, or think they know about it, but just for clarification im going to say it anyway. As I already stated, the algorithms don’t “look” at other art (reason: they do not have eyes), and get inspired to “create” art. What they CAN do is scan an image of an artwork, and recreate it pixel by pixel, to the last pixel. Basically copying. But thats when there’s one artwork.

The way it functions with its training dataset is, it scrapes all this artwork off the internet, learns to recreate it, identify what certain groups of pixels signify, and when its given a prompt? It spits out something that is an amalgamation of all those artworks its been trained on. Its not just INSPIRED, its quite literally stitching together pixels from all the artworks to create a brand new one.

Some people argue that this is as good as new, some people argue that its still stealing. I dont have an opinion on this, but I DO want to say that even this should be illegal because of copyright laws. According to those laws, an artist has the copyright to their work as soon as it is finished being made. (I want to state that this is the case for my country, and im not 100% sure about the US and other big places, and also that I specifically looked into this when AI art started kicking off so I’d know my rights.) If anyone else wants to use that artwork, they have to get permission from the artist, and pay a royalty if the artist says so. They’re exempt in some cases though, when the art is used for educational or research purposes and such.

Thats the loophole these companies are using. To make these datasets, theyre claiming its for research into like modern art or something and maybe at one point it was. But now AI art algorithms are using those datasets, and its not non-profit anymore. They ARE making profit out of this, believe me or not. Trying to find work as an artist is already almost impossible but now I keep seeing “artists” out there that offer “AI art” as one of their services. It is not. Nonprofit. Anymore. Even companies aren’t keeping it non-profit, there are premium subscription things that I dont know much about.

“Well IM not using it for profit, I’m just using it for fun!” Yeah I’ve seen that one a lot too. Again I’ll say, that is not the point. Do you remember at the start when it was first kicking off, you’d enter a prompt and it would give you 4 options, asking which one is better? That was also training. Training to look better and better resemble what we want. By making AI art at all, you are helping train those models. You’re helping them get better at mimicking human styles, to the point where its going to get really difficult to differentiate between AI art and human art.

And lastly, this is a personal opinion. Humans created machines to make life easy for themselves, to do all the labour so humans can do what we want. Like art, music, entertainment, whatever. Machines are supposed to do the tedious work and give us time to do the fun things. AI art is literally the opposite of that, its doing the fun part of life so that actual human artists, who now don’t have as many clients but still need to make a living, have to do tedious jobs like retail or other things. Its the literal opposite of the main objective of technology. What’s the point, you ask?

I have an answer to that too, even if its not something I personally like. Yeah, machines are supposed to make life a lot easier. And maybe AI art is doing the opposite for artists, but not the clients. Clients are actually getting art a lot more easily now, they just have to put prompts in. Life is easier for them! So AI art cant be all bad right? Okay yeah maybe. But all of the above still stands.

The solution? Get artists’ permission before using their artwork to train AI art models. Pay them royalties if they want. And let me tell you a lot of artists wont even want that royalty, they just want to have a say. Thats it. It might take more time, but it will be a lot more ethical and a lot more people will be happier. So artists who want to make a living will still make a living, but clients who don’t have the funds will still get easily made art. Everyone wins. Thats what it is with vocaloids as well, the voices used to make those algorithms are voices that have consented to being used. How is it so hard to do the same for visual art?

I guess the answer lies in capitalism. It would definitely take longer for companies to improve their models if they had to take consent from every artist. That would mean it would take longer to make that money. And boy do they want that money. They are willing to do everything to get it, as it is with most big corporations around the world.

That being said, we can break the algorithms they currently have so they can’t be used anymore, it’s not too late. Not yet, but soon it might be. We can “poison” the data being fed to the models, and i do this by using Glaze. Not sponsoring, but I honestly think it’s a great thing. It’s basically a software that masks your art, so it doesn’t look so different to the human eye, but algorithms will see really different things, like for example, if you’ve made an illustration of a cat and put it through Glaze, when AI encounters it it might see a dog. AI doesn’t have eyes. I feel like I need to stress that again and again.

So artists, use Glaze when posting your art online. Others, stop making AI art for the time being. We can still save this. When the data sets are officially poisoned the companies can start over again with the knowledge that we don’t consent to being fucked over. Thanks for reading.

#ai art #ai artwork #ai art generator #ai artist #ai art gallery #ai art generation #ai art community #ai art discussion #anti ai art #artblr #artists on tumblr #important #please read #Glaze #calling all artists #art #digital artist #artists #digital art #artwork #art is for humans #boost #tumblr #ai #ai generated #anti ai #pro ai #pro ai art #I’m literally just adding these tags so it reaches the people I want to reach #I’m literally just adding all these tags so the post reaches the people I want to reach don’t judge

[hermesserpent-stuff]

spoilers for Seidr, Iron, and Ice. Im writing several chapters ahead with this scene. Im not entirely sorry. loki and steve beloveds.

Loki stares at steve who is sitting on the roof. He had come up here to brood. But it seems the space is already occupied. He turns to leave as Steve looks up from his sketchbook.

“Oh! Loki right? Care to join me?”

Loki raises his book in reply and Steve gives an answering smile. 

“I promise not to bother you too bad. The roof is a good place to think and escape from all the people.”

Loki tilts his head and then walks forward. He had alread made the journey up here. Might as well stay. He sits down and there is lasting silence between them for a while. Steve moves a pencil back and forth across the sketchbook. Loki reads the history book. A half burst of thankfulness curls around his heart. Odin had not taken his ability to read other languages. He had taken all else. His voice. His ability to write. His strongest weapons. He is lucky to have been taken in by kind people rather than by those that might wish to kill him for existing. The all father is uncaring, Loki supposes. Perhaps the ability to read had been left as a mistake and not as a gift to be thankful for. 

Bitter rage must be leaking out of his posture because he hears Steve clear his throat. He looks over and the sketch book is being offered up. Loki hesitates, confused by the gesture for many reasons. Artists were often very protective of their sketches back home, with few wanting unfinished designs to ever be seen by a strangers eye. And Steve does not know him well. Though how could anyone know him well? Silence follows his every step. Loki gently takes the sketch book.

“Harry gave that to me not long after I moved in. He said that doing art helped him feel better after getting away from his ex-father.”

Loki starts to look at the art. Realistic images set in graphite. A little further in bursts of color come through. Each image is of ordinary things. Bits of Steve’s apartment. A pair of boots Loki does not recognize. A view of the city from the roof they are sitting on. Different images of the people that fill this building. Montana, Quentin, Peter, and Harry are among them. And then. Himself. Sitting quietly with a book, in the corner of what must have been one of the movie nights. Present. And captured in a way that Loki had not quite ever thought he would be seen in. Not compared. Not weak or less than.

Just as himself. 

Him.

A quiet reader smiling slightly at whatever else is going on in the room.

Steve has fallen quiet. Loki taps the image then points at Steve and then to his own eyes and then to his whole self. The man blinks and then hums.

“Thats how I see you, yeah. I notice you cause I have to notice everything. But I drew you… because in that moment you seemed happy. Its hard… to be happy if you cant remember it. All the guys I ran around with in the Howlin’ Camandos had something to remind them of happier times. Of what had to be protected and what they could return to. And I found that really hard in this place that echoes of home without being my home. What moments of happiness could I hold onto that were not beyond my reach due to the vastness of time? But then Harry gave me the sketchbook, and I could capture small moments and keep them around.”

Steve gently takes the sketch book back and flips it to the end. Loki spots a few doodles on the last couple pages that are done in many styles and hands that he knows are not Steve’s. Steve flips it to a blank page and presents it back to Loki with a pencil.

“Here. I like having people draw in the back. Its always interesting to see what they think of adding when given the opportunity of a blank page. And maybe it will help get your anger out. I know you dont write and I know you cant talk. But maybe you can draw?”

Loki takes the sketchbook back and stares down at the blank page. It is terrifying. To be presented with a vast field of nothering and be expected to mark it. To make it known that he once held this bit of an artist’s soul. His mind wanders and his hand absentmindedly falls into doodling runes he has no power to fuel. And then those runes evolve into lightning and clouds and the outline of Thor’s stupid helmet and the curve of his mother’s favorite necklace that Loki had made himself and the thick lines of his father’s throne. He misses home. He misses it so bitterly! Why had none contacted him? Was he truly not worth trying to fix or reach out? He had thought maybe Thor would try. He had hoped that his mother would speak to him. Was he not worth love?

He pushes the sketchbook back as tears gather. Steve touches his arm and he shies away. 

“I… I didnt want to upset you. But sometimes its okay to admit what you feel. You dont always have to wear a mask. Ive broken a lot of punching bags over it. But I dont think thats your style. I have lost a home too. Maybe not in the same way, or with the same pain, but Im here. If you want or need me.”

Loki swallows and nods. Steve had been watching. And had tried to reach out in a way that might suit Loki. It is kind. He slowly sits back down and takes the sketchbook back and finishes filling out the page as Steve sits nearby. Symbols of his mother and brother fill the page and cross over the stupid thrown of his stupid father. It feels nicely vindictive to cover up that initial doodle of the throne.

#spider nephew au #loki #captain america #steve rodgers #tssm #tssm au #Youtube

[i-like-gay-books]

lately been seeing a lot of pushback against the pushback against intellectual elitism, crying anti-intellectualism, and there are a few reasons this is bothering me which i’m going to try to list here to the best of my abilities all in one sitting because otherwise i’ll forget to finish it:

1. the whole attitude against consuming “easy” media like marvel or mainstream movies or books, etc, is intellectual elitism no matter how you sugar coat it. im not saying it’s intentionally malicious, in fact i believe most people doing it are unaware they’re doing anything at all. the thing is that privilege can affect you in many different ways, and the level of media you are able to consume and have an enjoyable experience with is one of those ways.

i am very well educated in language and writing, so reading experimental stories where the syntax and turn of phrase is almost more important than the actual plot or characters is easy and even sometimes enjoyable for me. however, i have next to no media literacy when it comes to films. i can watch something more artistic or experimental, but i likely won’t understand it even close to the amount i need to in order to enjoy it. it would take a lot of effort to fully understand and even if i got to the point of understanding it the effort it took would make the experience much less enjoyable.

i hope i explained that well enough. it’s kinda hard to put into words

2. it’s ableist. full stop. i’m not even joking here i saw someone seriously type out and post something that said people are using this callout of intellectual elitism as a way to hide the fact that they’re all just “jocks who don’t play sports.” that doesnt directly relate to this point in particular i just remembered it. 

yes, less artistic or intentionally intellectual/ thought provoking pieces of art are easier to consume. speaking as someone who has not only dealt with chronic burnout myself but who is part of a generation of people living day in and day out with chronic burnout, sometimes easy media is all i can handle. by which i mean, most times. and its easier to consume again. and again. and again and again.

burnout is just one example of course, many disabilities can cause a lack of energy to devote to activities that are for leisure. and even without disabilities, humans are meant to rest. nobody wants to be thinking critically or philosophically 100% of the time.

3. communities are much larger surrounding mainstream/ easy to consume media. obviously that doesnt make it more worthwhile, but it does come with its own certain set of benefits. also you know what mainstream fandoms have a shit ton of? fan work. look at fan fiction and fan art and fan theories and tell me those people are not thinking critically and engaging meaningfully with their source material. just try to tell me. 

some people work better with more hands on, creative pursuits. my favorite subjects growing up were always math and english, because there was a way to be involved, and not just be told the answers, the story. science and history never offered me that, at least not as openly. learning styles are different, and just because we’re talking about a leisure activity here doesnt mean that fact changes or becomes irrelevant.

this is just me word dumping onto a document because i didnt want to hijack a post at 12:30 at night, but these are a few of the reasons this “anti-intellectualism” accusation has been leaving a bad taste in my mouth for the few months its been going on. feel free to add on or ignore or whatever, i dont really care. i just needed to write it down and get it out there.

#anti intellectualism #intellectual elitism #media #disabilities #burnout #media literacy #privilege #cloudy rambles

[kath-artic]

venting about some stuff

kind of annoyed with my roommate right now and i dont like it. we usually get along super well and shes one of my closest friends but shes seeing this guy that i actively dislike and shes only with him because he fucking worships her and it is actively making her a worse person. like she’s very STEM brained and has a superiority complex about it but its been mostly okay up until now we’re she’s lost her ability to appreciate anything that is not purely logical. like we watched Nope and she didnt like it because she didnt think the alien was developed enough since they never explained the fucking biological process by which it cloaks itself and shit and she was so hung up on it that she picked up on zero of the actual themes. and she was talking to us like we were all stupid and its fucking frustrating because i KNOW i can do science. i KNOW i can do math. i CHOSE not to because storytelling is what i think is most important. dont talk to me like im a fucking idiot, there’s more than one way to be intelligent and you are severely limiting yourself by cutting yourself off entirely from the realm of metaphor. not just that but you live with 3 people who are all in the arts to some extent and you say that we’re your best friends but you refuse to see the value in what we do and its just so fucking disrespectful. like ill admit theres times my friends have made art that i just dont think is very good or that conflicts with my personal philosophy on art but like. i recognize that most of the upsetness i feel stems from the fact that i hold myself to too strict of a standard and never send my art out because its not perfect whereas they are actually going places and doing things with it regardless of whether i like their art or not. i also try not to make them feel small, i might offer some critiques or ideas on what i think they could do instead but its up to them if they want to take that advice or not. and the thing is shes usually not like this when this guy’s not around and it makes me really sad. like sometimes she can be very combative and get hung up on semantics, but shes like that exponentially more when he’s around. he also contributes fucking nothing to a conversation. like he comes over and stands around and is like “wow you guys are SO crazy” when we’re just talking. i had two friends over yesterday and my one roommate specifically told me that she likes my friends because they actually contributed something to our little sitcom that we live in and started jumping into the dynamic and making jokes with us instead of saying pointless shit like “haha you guys are so quirky omg ive never met anyone else like you.” i can hear him out there right now praising every little thing she does as the most interesting, funniest thing anyone has ever done and the way i would get SO frustrated with someone like that. no, give me criticism. say something fucking real. like my ex would constantly give me constructive criticism and he had the craziest ego of anyone ive ever known and there was one time he said “i’m always correct but youre the only person i know who’s more correct than me” and THATS an ego boost i’ll accept. not “everything you do is soooo funny and perfect and you cant do anything wrong ever.” i was in the car with them and she was talking about something she was struggling with and he just kept saying shit like “everything you do is so great, you have nothing to worry about” and it just feels so hollow and does nothing to actually help her with what she’s struggling with. its like if i went up to someone and asked them what i should do and they said “im sure whatever you do will be amazing <3″ like ok. cool. and on top of that as much as he drives me up a wall and turns her into a person that i dont like being around im just worried that all of this praise comes at a price because she hasnt been setting boundaries and i can see him pushing them and i feel like hes going to set an expectation and either try to force her to meet it or emotionally manipulate her for not meeting it and shes not the kind of person to be affected by anything emotional but i think the idea that she has hurt a close friend might get to her. i dont know

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

bojack horseman and bo burnham: the art of acting like you’re acting and the comedy of misery

at the core of bojack horseman, raphael bob-waksberg’s 2014 comedy, is a story about the relationship between performance and depression. the protagonist of this renowned tragicomedy is best described as a sympathetic villain; he is shown to clearly be in the wrong across various events of the show, and is explicitly referred to as a bad person, but the audience is granted deep access to his personal struggles, resulting in some portions of the audience finding themselves on bojack’s side. the duality of his character is complex, but can be broken down into some core components, that all stem from the impacts of stardom and performance. the standup comedy of bo burnham arguably echoes this sentiment in real time. having been a performer from a young age, burnham creates work that serves as a satirical commentary on the life of entertainers. he uses original songs to explore the reliance upon and resentment for his performative nature both onstage and within his personal life. both the comedian and the netflix show are widely understood to be thinly veiling their critiques of the entertainment industry behind a particular brand of witty and absurd humour.

both bojack and burnham’s content openly criticises their audiences and explicitly states the manufactured nature of the narrative the audience is fed. in the fifth season of bojack horseman, the show satirises itself by having bojack star in a police procedural drama, parts of which are actively written by other characters to reflect events of bojack’s life. the titular character he plays, philbert, is the epitome of selfish male angst, and an example of what bob-waksberg’s show could have been; another story about a sad and angry man whose guilt supposedly makes up for the people he has hurt. according to bojack, philbert teaches us ‘we’re all terrible, so we’re all okay’, an interpretation that is harshly disputed by diane: ‘that’s not the point of philbert, for guys to watch it and feel okay. i dont want you, or anyone else, justifying their shitty behaviour because of the show.’ this moment is a direct reaction to some of the online reception bojack horseman has received. various circles of the show’s fanbase have found themselves relating to the protagonist to the point of defending his untoward behaviour, a response not intentioned by the show’s creators. this is not the only example of bob-waksberg’s ability to make his work self-evaluative. in season six’s exposure of bojack and sarah lynn’s problematic relationship, characters question their sexual encounter from the first season. the writers use this as a way of examining their own choices, and the harmful tropes they played into when using this exploitative sexual encounter as a gag. this self-evaluative quality is what sets bojack apart as a show that assesses the performance it participates in, much like the comedy of bo burnham.

bo burnham is known for directly addressing his audience, particularly in terms of discouraging idolisation and parasocial relationships. some examples of this manifest as responses to hecklers rather than a planned bit in the show, for instance:

heckler: i love you!

bo: no you don’t

heckler: i love the IDEA of you!

bo: stop participating!

he actively addresses the issues posed by being an entertainer, and encourages the audience to understand and recognise that his onstage persona is just that: an exaggerated persona. not once does burnham claim to be fully authentic onstage, and even moments of authenticity we see in his latest special, inside, are staged. we make the assumption that having the physical setting of a stage stripped away grants us a more personal look at the entertainer’s life, but he makes it clear that even in his own home we still see the aspects he has carefully constructed rather than the full truth. arguably though, parts of the show really are authentic; in his monologue during make happy, bo deconstructs his own show in a way that is similar to bojack horseman’s later seasons, admitting that all he knows is performing and thus making a show about the more mundane and relatable aspects of life would feel ‘incredibly disingenuous.’ in his attempts to separate himself from this onstage persona he actually manages to blur the lines between what is acting and what is now part of his nature as a result of his job. this notion is echoed in bojack horseman as bojack’s attention seeking nature is attributed to his years acting in front of a camera every day.

bo suggests that the era of social media has created a space in which children’s identities mimic that of an entertainer like himself, describing the phenomenon as ‘performer and audience melded together.’ in this observation he criticises the phenomenon. bo attempts to force the audience to recognise the ways in which their lives are becoming shaped by the presence of an audience and to some extent uses his own life as a warning tale against this. he points out the way in which the ‘tortured artist trope’ means that your cries for help or roundabout attempts of addressing mature themes such as substance abuse, mental illness and trauma become part of that on stage persona and therefore become part of the joke. both bo and bojack address these topics in more discrete manners earlier in their careers, but this eventually becomes expected, and thus they are forced to explicitly detail their struggles with these topics in order to be taken seriously. even then, portions of the audience are inclined to see it as part of the persona or as something that fuels the creators creativity and thus does not need to be addressed as a legitimate issue. the emphasis on creating a character or persona promotes the commodification of mental illness: any struggle must be made into a song or a joke or a bit, must be turned into part of the act in order to have value. this actually serves to delegitimise these emotions and create a disconnect between the feeling and the person, as it becomes near impossible to exist without feeling as though you are acting. even when an artist’s cries for help become blatant, they continue to go ignored because now they serve the purpose of creating content that criticises the industry they stem from. online audiences can be seen as treating bo burnham and his insightful work as existing to demonstrate the negative effects entertaining can have, and because this insight is useful or thought-provoking to audiences, he is almost demanded to keep entertaining and creating. in response to this demand, his work becomes more meta and his messages become clearer, and the more obvious his messages, the more people he reaches. this increases audience demands and traps entertainers in a cycle fraught with internal conflict.

during bojack’s second season, bojack’s date asks him, ‘come on, do that bojack thing where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, but at the same time we relate, because you're saying the things polite society won't.’ this moment exemplifies how aspects of his genuine personality have now become a part of his persona and this is demanded of him in genuine and serious situations, undermining the validity of his emotional reactions. he immediately makes a rude comment to the waitress at the restaurant they’re in and satisfies his date by performing that character he has set himself out to be. some circles of the fan base have argued that bojack is written as a depiction of somebody with borderline personality disorder, offering a psychoanalytical lens through which to view this notion of performance. a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder is a fluctuating sense of self; having grown up on camera, being demanded to perform to others as young as six years old, bojack’s sense of self will have been primarily dictated by the need to act.  whether this acting is for the sake of comedy, or as a representation of masking his mental illness, when they need to act is taken away bojack entirely loses his sense of self and relapses into his addictions: ‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a person.’ burnham’s depictions of depression run along a similar vein; in his new special he poses the idea that his comedy no longer serves the same personal purpose it once did for him. he questions ‘shit should I be joking at a time like this?’ and satirises the idea that arts have enough value to change or impact the current global issues that we are facing. burnham’s ‘possible ending song’ to his latest special, he asks ‘does anybody want to joke when no-one’s laughing in the background? so this is how it is.’ implicit in this question is the idea that when the audience is taken away and there is nobody to perform his pain to, he is left with his pain. instead of being able to turn his musings and thoughts into a product to sell to the public, he is forced to just think about them in isolation and actually face them, an abrupt and distressing experience.

the value of performance and art is questioned by both bojack and burnham, particularly during the later years of their respective content. burnham’s infamous song, art is dead, appears to be a direct response to the question ‘what is the worth of art?’ he posits that performing is the result of a need for attention (‘my drug’s attention, i am an addict, but i get paid to indulge in my habit’) and repeatedly jokes throughout his career that the entertainment industry receives more respect that it deserves (‘i’m the same as you, im still doing a job or a service, i’m just massively overpaid’). his revelations regarding the inherent desire for attention that runs through all entertainers is frequently satirised in bojack horseman. bojack is comically, hyperbolically attention hungry and self-obsessed, and the show has a running gag in which he uses phrases along the lines of ‘hello, why is nobody paying attention to me, the famous movie star, instead of these other boring people.’ his constant attempts to direct the focus of others towards himself result in bojack feeling like ‘everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.’ his peers buy into his act and adore the comical, exaggerated, laughable aspects of his character, but find very little room to respond to him on a genuinely personal level because of this. interestingly, bojack appears to enjoy catering to his audience and the instant gratification it produces, whereas bo burnham becomes increasingly candid about his mixed feeling towards his audience. ‘i wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself, i wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but i wanna say what i think and not care what you think about it.’ he admits to catering to what audiences want from him, but resents both the audience and himself in the process as it reveals to himself which parts of his character are solely for the sake of people watching him.

within bojack horseman, this concept is applicable not only to the protagonist, but to the various forms of performer demonstrated in the plot. towards the show’s end, sarah lynn asks ‘what does being authentic have to do with anything?’ to which herb kazzaz responds, ‘when i finally stopped hiding behind a facade i could be at peace.’ this highlights the fact that because entertainers are demanded to continue the facade, they do not receive the opportunity to find ‘peace.’ this sentiment is scattered throughout the show, through a musical motif, the song ‘don’t stop dancing.’ the song stems from a life lesson bojack imparted to sarah lynn at a young age, and becomes more frequently used as the show progresses and bojack’s situation worsens.

sarah lynn is also used to explore the value of entertainers; in the show’s penultimate episode, she directly compares her work as a pop icon to the charity work of herb, arguing that if she suffered in order to produce her work. it has to mean something. she lists the struggles she faced when on tour: ‘i gave my whole life...my manager leaked my nudes to get more tour dates added, my mom pointed out every carb i ate, it was hell. but it gave millions of fans a show they will never forget and that has to mean something.’ implicit in this notion is the idea that entertainment is the epitome of self-sacrifice. there is a surplus of mentally ill individuals within the industry, largely due to the nature of the industry itself, but some may argue that the cultural grip the industry has, and the vast amounts of respect and money it generates annually, gives the suffering of these prolific individuals meaning.

the juxtaposing responses entertainers feel towards their audiences manifest as two forms of desperation: the desperation to be an individual who is held accountable, and the desperation to be loved and validated. we see both bojack and bo depict how they oscillate between  ‘this is all a lie’ and ‘my affection for my audience is genuine’, or between ‘do not become infatuated with me im a character’ and ‘please fucking love my character i do not know how to be loved on a personal level.’ bojack explicitly asks diane to write a slam piece on him and ‘hold him accountable’, similar to bo’s song ‘problematic’ in which the hook includes the phrase ‘isn’t anybody gonna hold me accountable?’ for his insensitive jokes as a late teenager. their self-awareness is what enables their self-evaluative qualities, but self-awareness is its own issue. bojack grapples with a narcissistic view of his own recognition of his behaviour before settling on a more nuanced, albeit depressing take. originally he makes the assumption that in recognising the negative aspects of himself, he is superior to those who behave similarly: ‘but i know im a piece of shit. that makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don’t know theyre pieces of shit.’ eventually, during his time at rehab he is forced to reconcile with the fact that self awareness does not, to put it bluntly, make you the superior asshole, it just makes you the more miserable one. the show does, however, make a point to recognise how the entertainment industry protects ‘pieces of shit’, prioritising their productive value over how much they deserve to be held accountable, demonstrated using characters like hank hippopoalus. the show itself obviously stems from the entertainment industry, as it is a form of media produced by netflix, one of the most popular streaming platforms available. bojack horseman and bo burnham represent the small corner of the industry that is reflective enough to showcase the damage it inflicts. this is powerful in terms of education and awareness, and urges audiences to question their own motives and versions of performance, but the reflection alone is not powerful enough to help the artists in question. burnham’s candid conversations surrounding his mental health continue to reveal a plethora of issues somewhat caused or sustained by the nature of his career. within bojack horseman, bojack is only able to stop hurting other characters when those characters construct a situation that forces him to face consequence, his introspection alone is not enough. while bojack ends on a message of hope, suggesting to the audience that reverting back to the status quo is not the only acceptable way for events to end, it leaves stinging lessons and social commentary with the audience regarding the unnatural and damaging narrative that performers live through. on a similar but markedly different note, bo burnham’s work and personal progression is playing out in real time, and not in a way that is as raw and genuine as it appears. each bit is planned, even the most vulnerable moments that appear unplanned and painful. his latest special is not entirely devoid of hope, but does translate to audiences as a somewhat exaggerated look around the era of social media and the development of performance, using himself as an example.

the absurdist humour that often acts as a vehicle for poignant statements or emotionally provocative questions is very specific to each media creator. bob-waksberg’s use of puns, tongue twisters and entirely ridiculous circumstances served to simultaneously characterise his points as an expected part of the show’s style of humour, similar to bojack’s emotional instability, but also to make them appear gut-punching in comparison to the humour. burnham’s work is similar in that poignant but blunt statements are often sandwiched between absurd and exaggerated jokes, making them stand out via contrast but not giving the audience too much time to dwell upon them as they are said. performance art is second nature to entertainers, and is presented a an issue that is infiltrating the general population via social media rather than solely affecting the ‘elites’. bojack horseman and bo burnham present the duality of artists simultaneously attempting to level the playing field and increase their chances of survival in the industry, and encourage audiences to know that everyone is bluffing and you’ll never have the right cards anyway.

i.k.b

#mine #bo burnham #bojack horseman #bojack analysis #bo burnham analysis #comedy #essay #analytical essay #diane nguyen #sarah lynn #inside bo burnham #make happy #bo burnham what #long post #bojack rewatch #bojack ending #bo burnham netflix #bo burnham special #bo burnham my beloved #bjhm #satire #raphael bob-waksberg #netflix #netflix special #original essay #copyright ikb #reblogs appreciated!

[notnctu]

through the lens ❀ l.jn

❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.  

❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞

❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy

Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy. 

Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever. 

It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now. 

The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.

He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.

Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.

The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.

“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly. 

“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.

+

Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft. 

“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic. 

Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at. 

“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful. 

Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”

“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man. 

The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises. 

The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely. 

“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.

Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.” 

Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.” 

“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated. 

Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”

Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not. 

Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.

He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.

As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.

“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”

Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”

“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him. 

“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed. 

“Why do you take nude photography?” 

Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.” 

Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills. 

Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.” 

+

Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”

“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”

His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.” 

His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.

He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.

You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.

“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.

He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.

Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.

“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.

Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”

“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.

Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you. 

Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.

There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.

“Yes?” You asked curiously.

The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.

He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.

“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly. 

A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”

“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male. 

You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.

You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.” 

Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”

“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.

Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”

“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.” 

“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.

Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.” 

Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them. 

“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.

+

Monday, 3:03 PM. 

Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness. 

There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin. 

“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly. 

Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.

“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s. 

“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.

Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”

He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight. 

“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.

For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.

“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down. 

You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”

Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears. 

Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.

There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.

This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece. 

Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.

“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you. 

Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away. 

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.

“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.

“Why did you choose me as your model?” 

Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.

The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.” 

“But you don’t know me.” 

Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click. 

It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence. 

You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you. 

+

You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission. 

Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.

Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.

Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”

“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.” 

Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”

“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.” 

He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”

“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.

Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?” 

He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.” 

+

“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”

Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.

He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.

“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.” 

Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.

His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you. 

Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world. 

“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small. 

“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it. 

“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.” 

He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand. 

“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture. 

“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent. 

Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”

Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.

He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently. 

The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier. 

A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.

“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”

“Which would be?”

“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”

“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.

“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground. 

He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.” 

“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.

A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.” 

Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.

No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin. 

His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one. 

Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying. 

Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.

Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”

Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”

“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.

Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.

“Are you usually this wet, baby?”

Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”

He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.

His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.

Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.

Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth. 

He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.

“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.” 

He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines. 

Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.

Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.

Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you. 

He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.

“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.

Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.

Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.

Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.

He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.” 

You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist. 

He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago. 

His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset. 

Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”

A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul. 

You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”

“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly. 

“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim. 

You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock. 

As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again. 

Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.

The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.

Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately. 

The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before. 

He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”

You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.” 

“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song. 

Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.

Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.

Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.

“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed. 

This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.

He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit. 

His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.

“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.

“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button. 

Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were. 

Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you. 

He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.” 

+

Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details. 

The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture. 

Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.

Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.” 

Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?” 

Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.” 

Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it. 

The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.

There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.

You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him. 

He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”

“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.” 

“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.” 

Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”

#lee jeno #jeno scenarios #nct smut #jeno smut #nct dream scenarios #nct jeno #jeno #nct dream smut #nct 127 scenarios #wayv #wayv scenarios #nct dream reactions #nct 127 smut #nct #nct dream imagines #lee jeno scenarios #kpop #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #cznnet #nct u scenarios #nct u #nct 127 reactions #nct reactions #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct au #nct dream scenario #nct dream

[rev-pirate]

👀 One Piece AU

Okay so more op au thoughts and rambling.

Originally this answer was be rambling about potential backstories for techno but it got way out of hand so i am saving that for later while i hammer out some of the ideas with @/liloinkoink Instead i will talk about some other character origins what i’ve come up with and what other people have suggested since my last post

Okay so like obvious ones out of the way Ant, Fundy, and Puffy could be minks

I think Punz definitely has bounty hunter energy. No devil fruit power and probably doesn’t want one because he’d like to keep the ability to swim. But is a super skilled top tier fighter who has mastered a lot of like the combat arts and attainable/innate powers that are trainable to unlock. Def becomes a very skilled user of armament haki and makes good use of Shave in particular of the 6 powers.

I think Niki would be fun to have as a fishman. But i’m not sure what kind of fish person yet there are a lot of options. Like literally if it is strictly aquatic and not a mammal than its a candidate. It would also be fun because it offers even more variety to the syndicate as a team (with phil as a sky person and if Techno is a mink or just straight up a pig. Still not sure what to do with Ranboo yet though rip). Also fishmen have a specific martial art called fishman karate (which Can be taught to humans but humans generally lack the innate ability to manipulate water both in the environment and inside living things but the combat style is still a thing). And i would love Niki training arc to get good at fishman karate.

One night In the haze of falling asleep my brain punched me with the funny idea of Skeppy as a dwarf with the diamond devil fruit. Which lets him turn any part of his body into diamond. Now so far the only dwarf tribe we know of is the Tontattas but it’s possible and maybe likely that there is more than one tribe of dwarfs. But we don’t really know that. Regardless, Smol diamond gremlin is so funny

Which leads me to this suggestion

Tommy as a tontatta would be an absolute Menace. That’s such a funny idea. The tontatta are like super gullible and trusting like if you sound insistent enough “oh okay well if you insist it must be true” and Tommy would take advantage of that against his own tribe for sure. And he’d have his raccoon hands all over everyone’s things. He’d absolutely be one of the scouts that goes out and steals “tribute” from the big people.

On the subject of tommy as well regarding like devil fruits as a follow up from my last post about the au. Tommy having a devil fruit that is just some dude adjacent would be good as well. Maybe something only useful in his hands bc of how he uses it or would be useful in anyone else’s hands but his would also suit him. Maybe something that could be trickstery but not practical or just like Highly Specific. Cuz like. Devil fruits are limited only by your creativity in how you use them and i think Tommy could get creative with something largely considered useless in the same way Luffy managed to with his rubber fruit. For example like Tommy with the door fruit would be funny he can just turn anything into a door. There is no barrier of entry for him. Everything can be door.

Also liloinkoink opened my third eye by suggesting mink techno who later gets the bunny fruit. This is a big brained play and i have been enlightened by this suggestion.

Perks of a one piece au is that foolish can be 20ft tall and this is just normal. While liloinkoink and I were brainstorming foolish ideas we started laughing so hard at the idea of Foolish having eaten an artificial faulty SMILE devil fruit and that he just has a fuckin Shark growing out the back of his head. Like i dont think any of the zoan fruits are aquatic but like Please it’s so funny. It’s about the traditional one piece comedic potential. Dsmp really maps into a one piece au so well for this. And i think he could be a mink bc of their innate static electrical abilities but i’m not sure what kind of animal yet. If not the SMILE fruit idea he could also just be a shark fishman. Or even a mink and fishman hybrid could be fun. But if he has a devil fruit (like the lightning logia fruit or something) then he can’t swim even though he is a fish person which lol.

When it comes to Wilbur it really depends on what you want to lean into with him. As Phil’s son he would also be a sky person which gives him little wings it we go that route with Phil. He could have like a music leaning devil fruit. He could also have something more abstract for a devil fruit dealing with charisma. Like there is a character who has a fruit that where she can magically influence/convince/inspire anyone to fight with just her words and a wave of the flag and it gives them like a speed and strength boost among other things. Something like that could be an interesting ability in Wilbur’s hands. He could make interesting use of it.

And since this is getting long and i have to actually do something at work again finally that’s where i’ll end this one

#dsop au #ask box genuinely like always open for this au #SMoP au

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

#hehe idk how to tag this #ive spent SO long on this post im so glad its done #follow forever #eden.txt

[chibimyumi]

Hiii!!, hope I dont bother you, but I've been thinking about this for a while... I guess Vincent's character design was created much later in the series, but may had it been a conscious decision to make his and Sebastian's character design quite similar? And if so, may had it been so as Sebastian has taken the "paternal" role in O!Ciel's life? (I remember I once read a phrase by Yana Toboso about parents and their influence, but I don't remember how it goes, quite well)

Dear Anon,

You are certainly not bothering me, don’t worry (^▽^)

Ah yes, I have seen mentions of Vincent’s and Sebastian’s likeness very often among this fandom. Back in 2014 Yana made a statement about this topic saying:

“Ciel’s papa and Sebas. Leaving parts of their faces aside, their facial expressions are similar, and that’s why I don’t like drawing them side by side (laughs) That Vincent and Sebas look similar is intentional, but I don’t think I’ll ever reveal the reason in my work.”

Later in 2017 however Yana did basically reveal the reason behind Sebas and Vincent’s physical similarity:

Today I was having food in a cafe and I ran into women having a heated discussion saying “Black Butler has very few handsome men”. Because I have no confidence in drawing distinguishable handsome men I can’t just increase my supply of canonically handsome men (adult males with a beautiful face and a long silhouette like Sebas). I have this fear that when I have to draw a close-up of [handsome] faces nobody could tell one apart from another 😅 【Toboso】

I do wonder whether in the manga my readers can tell Vincent and Sebas apart aside from using the mole (there is a difference in the droopy-eyes and the eyebrows though). I really experienced the difficulty of the concept of handsome men the hard way. I’ll do my best to train [my ability of drawing] handsome men though (∩^o^)⊃━☆゜.*【Toboso】

(I took a drawing of both Sebas and Vincent from a similar art-style period and traced their eyes and eyebrows for clearer reference.)

Answer: Yep, the actual reason for Sebas and Vincent’s supposed similarity is just plain old “SAME FACE SYNDROME”! And true to her word, Yana indeed did not reveal the reason in her work.

Indeed, the claim that Sebas intentionally took form after Vincent really is not true. It’s just one of the many examples of this fandom reaching, speculating, and then presenting it as fact.

Firstly, Sebas never saw Vincent or even an image of him before he took his current human form.

Secondly, Yana LOVES pestering O!Ciel, and by extension Sebas does too. Sebas has consistently shamed his master for showing any “weakness” and just loves pestering the boy in all ways possible. His go-to method to “help” his master with his trauma even is to re-traumatise him. Arguably taking form after the father O!Ciel had lost tragically would be a fair method to ensure maximum ‘seasoning and flavouring’ in Sebas’ textbook; that is, IF he knew what Vincent looked like. If Sebas actively took form after the boy’s late father, then it makes no sense whatsoever that the manga never shone light on the matter. Yana would never miss out on the opportunity to let Sebas really make O!Ciel’s life miserable in such a passive-aggressive way had that been the intention.

Thirdly, I also doubt whether Sebas and Vincent’s likeness is diegetic; i.e. does O!Ciel see it? If he does see the likeness between his butler and his late father, wouldn’t he have shown some reaction, especially upon first encounter? So far I have seen no indication of either master or servant having noticed any similarity. O!Ciel was surprised when he first saw Sebas’ human form, but any human form would probably have surprised anyone after seeing that entire goop-zoo display. After having seen what the demon is capable of shapeshifting-wise, surely the boy would have concluded it could take ANY other human form. And yet, when Sebas offered to take a different form O!Ciel didn’t hesitate to decline. That probably means that he really wasn’t bothered by this particular human manifestation. Of course one could argue that a father-look-alike is how O!Ciel likes it... but then, you’d also think there’d be some reaction.

About Sebas’ paternal role you mentioned, I THINK you were talking about this blog post by Yana in 2010?

[...] my assistant recently said: “Ciel’s papa looks so evil! Is he the final boss or something!?”” To which I replied: “he’s Ciel’s father you know” “Ahー... (agreeing)” she said. (Laughs) Somebody who is really good at heart cannot possibly have given birth to a child with that horrible a personality! Well, until the age of 10 he might have been a normal child, but he probably already had some grounding.. you know, through [evil] bloodline (laughs) We do say that “a parent who raises the child is the true parent”, and for the past 3 years Sebas has been keenly raising him to be a Thorough★ Sadist, so you could say that the evil blood inside him has awakened perfectly.

So yes, Sebas did indeed raise his master as he has explicitly been tutoring him on all matters. However that does not mean that he was trying to fill in the vacancy left by Vincent.

I hope this post has been interesting, and I wish you all a good day ^^

#Same face syndrome #Kuroshitsuji #Black Butler #Vincent Phantomhive #Sebastian Michaelis #Similarity #Look alike #kinda?? I think a BIT...but not a lot #Ciel Phantomhive #O!Ciel #Our Ciel #Father #papa #Ciel Papa #English #Translation #Toboso Yana #Yana Toboso #misconception

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Azula x female reader series: Part 6

Azula learns details about your relationship with Zuko and is furious leaving you isolated in a dangerous situation with few allies. You learn Zuko’s plan to escape during the eclipse and are torn between telling Azula or escaping with Zuko. Azula feels betrayed and no longer trusts you but do you give up on her that easily?

Tag list: @saucy-sapphic @justastranger-passing @azulasprincess @888-rising @sighsam @theblueslytherin @lucyrocks86 @halcyon-arts

Part One here

Part Two here

Part Three here

Part Four here

Part Five here

----

Your POV

"So that was a good effort" Zuko said breaking the awkward silence that settled as soon as you walked into his room. You managed not to roll your eyes as you moved about the room readying it for the night. Your training sessions were usually okay but today you'd done particularly bad and you were feeling hopeless you'd ever get better. "Seriously" Zuko said offering you a small smile "you're a new bender it will take time". Your practice sessions had been numerous, Zuko was suprisingly enthusiastic about training you but you hadn't been showing much improvement. He tried teaching you how his uncle taught him but the technique wasn’t compatible with you or something because you’d barely been able to match any of his stances. "Maybe I’m just not that good" you shrugged "you and Azula are royals it makes sense you’re such strong fire benders". Zuko went quiet at the mention of Azula and you scolded yourself for bringing her up, you weren’t meant to do that but you were seeing her tonight so she was on your mind. "Yes well..' Zuko started when there was a knock at the door. "Dammit I was supposed to meet Mai a while ago" Zuko frowned "y/n hide". "What?" You asked confused. "Things with Mai have been difficult lately" Zuko said awkwardly "she’s still not happy you’re my maid and if she sees you she’ll know we’ve been training and it will make her mad, so can you hide?". You nodded ignoring the blush on Zuko’s cheeks and looked for a spot. "Under the bed?" Zuko offered and you frowned "why don’t you just tell her what happened? We were training and lost track of time, maybe if you tell her the truth she won’t be mad". Zuko was thinking it over in his head when she knocked again and he jumped. "She won’t understand so please just hide y/n, I’ll tell her I’m coming soon and get her to leave". You sighed but nodded and rolled under the bed. Zuko sighed with relief and turned the door handle "I'm so sorry Ma..." he started but he stopped abruptly and you heard a voice that was certainly not Mai's. "I dont know what youre apologising for but im sure it's justified”.

Azula's POV

Azula loved catching her brother off guard and it seemed she had done just that. She waited until she was sure you'd have left the training room and came to Zuko's room. Azula wasn’t really sure why she was here, she hadn’t arranged this with you and it wasn’t that she didn’t trust you or anything. She just wanted proof nothing was going on, to see you two together in a non formal setting and see for herself what your relationship with her brother was like. Azula walked into the room amused Zuko looked so angry. She looked around for you but noticed you weren’t here, she imagined you were hiding and that sparked doubt in her mind. If Zuko was hiding you from Mai he must have a reason....

"Azula what do you want I'm late to meet Mai". Azula smirked turning to face him "she's already angry at you zuzu I doubt being late can make matters much worse between you, I don’t think anything can really". Zuko turned red in anger and embarrassment and Azula continued "how was your training session by the way? You’ve been having a lot of them lately haven’t you?". "None of your buisness" Zuko snapped "now get out". "My my not in a good mood" Azula replied "I’m only here for y/n". "Y/n?" Zuko asked and Azula nodded "yeah you know your maid..that's her name". "I know who she is!" Zuko snapped "but what do you want with her?". Azula smirked but she noticed another thing she didn’t like, the suspicion and anger Zuko showed at the mention of your name. "None of your buisness" Azula mimicked Zuko "have you seen her or not? I was sure she'd be here for some reason...seems she's been spending a lot of time with you according to the servants, I’m glad you've made a friend Zuko but if she works for you does it really count?". "You’re one to talk" Zuko spat and Azula frowned confused "I am?". "The way you've treated y/n, is it no wonder she likes me better?". Ow that hit a sensitive spot. What did he mean? Azula wondered. How dare he insinuate you liked him more. It wasn’t true and Azula knew that but it still made her nervous. "and how have I treated the maid brother?" Azula asked her temper already growing. "She told me all of it" zuko explained "how you blackmailed her to be loyal to you! How you lied and manipulated her, used whatever emotions she had for you for your own gain, how she never did any of it because she wanted to but because you made her! Honestly you're a monster". It wasn’t the first time Azula had been called a monster but it was the first time in relation to you so it stung. "And i’m supposed to believe y/n trusted you enough to confess this all?" Azula asked. Zuko nodded "i promised her i’d keep her safe from you and she confessed it all, everything I said came from her lips directly, she hates you Azula but she’s not scared of you anymore, because you can’t touch her now, she’s my maid and you can’t boss her around anymore". Azula was so shocked it took her a while to think of a witty response. You'd really told Zuko all of that about her? Did you really feel that way? How could you say it to Zuko of all people? All Azula wanted to do was run away but she couldn’t, she spun to Zuko and decided to let her anger out on him. "You think she’s untouachble? Nobody is" Azula spat "I am the best fire bender this nation has seen in aeons, you know i can beat you zuzu, speak to me like that again and I’ll give you a scar to match the one father did!". Zuko grunted and lunged for her but Azula was ready, lightning danced on her hands and she aimed. Zuko ducked and it hit his wall instead narrowly missing him. Zuko stared as the spot he’d just been stood on now smoked and Azula smiled satisfied. "Next time I won’t miss" and slammed the door.

Your POV

You made your way down the coridoor still shocked from the events in Zuko’s room. You couldn’t believe the horrible things Zuko had said but for Azula to fire lighning at him. She could have killed Zuko, murdered her brother over an argument. You reminded yourself she missed on purpose, she would never actually kill Zuko...not over something so petty as this anyway. Azula surely didn’t really believe you meant all the things you’d told Zuko, she surely knew it was all for the mission she’s assigned you and understood. You pushed open the door to your room and saw Azula stood there. The look she gave you told you, you’d been wrong. Azula turned to face you her face showing anger as she looked at you. It intimidated you and weeks ago you’d have been terrified but this was Azula, your Azula. You could reason with her and explain everything. She’s listen to you.

Azula’s POV

Azula felt she’d been very understanding. She’d allowed the private training sessions, she understood letting Zuko teach you fire bending and she hadn’t even got angry when you’d accidentally shown Zuko your abilities. What Azula couldn’t get over however was you creating this bad relationship for Zuko’s benefit. Azula watched as you stepped into the room and waited to see if you’d speak first. She was suprised you looked her straight in the eye as you went to speak “Azula I know you’re angry...”. “Of course I’m angry” Azula burst “how long have you been telling Zuko horrible stories about me”. “Well since the day he found out I was a firebender but they were all lies Azula”. “They’re not lies to Zuko, he thinks they’re true...you must’ve been pretty convincing, maybe they weren’t all lies”. “Of course they were Azula! I just made him think i disliked you so he’d trust me, he wouldn’t trust me any other way” you argued. “You couldn’t think of any other way besides bad mouthing me to my worst enemy? To someone I’ve despised since being a child?” Azula asked. “You wanted me to get close to Zuko” you cried “you asked me to do this and so I did, it’s clearly worked”. “No, I seem to recall telling you I could find another way y/n, that I’d use another plan, after your...slip up. I didn’t ask you to carry this on, you carried it on y/n and this is the way you chose to do it”.

The worst part was Azula could actually see the logic to your plan. Zuko hadn’t thought fondly of Azula since she’d learnt to walk, it was instinct for him to blame and hate her, to believe she was a cruel person. And yes Azula had been rude and cruel to many servants so the story would been easily believed but she had been nice to you, nicer than she was to her own friends! She’d protected you, trusted you and even grown to care for you more than she ever had for anyone else. You didn’t need rescuing from her, least of all by zuko but that was the story you’d sold him. As everyone did, even your mind made Azula the villan and Zuko the hero. Azula was snapped out of her rumination when you spoke. "Azula..." you tried again "please I was just doing it for the mission, I didn’t want to have ruined your plan, I wanted to salvage it by any means necessary, it’s working really well but I will stop if you want me to, I won’t keep up this act with Zuko anymore". “I think it’s a bit late for that” Azula snapped “you’ve already convinced Zuko I’m a monster to you and you’ve convinced me that what you really think of me”. “But Azula..” you tried but she cut you off aware she had to end this conversation now while she had control over her emotions. “No” she said raising her voice “the deal is off”. As Azula said those words she felt them hang in the air and saw your face change as you registered what she was saying. “I no longer want you to try and learn Zuko’s secrets, I don’t want you to report back to me, I don’t want to see or hear from you again” she yelled.

Your POV

Azula’s voice rang in the air and you stared at her. You felt scared, shock and sad but mainly angry. Azula had been fine with complicating your job by making you a spy, by making you lose the respect of your colleagues, by making the royals all despise you as a servant girl trying to sleep her way to the top and was only annoyed when Zuko believed a lie about her. "But it’s not true" you cried "Azula you know that! I know that! Who cares what zuko thinks? You’re throwing all this away because of him?". “This is not about Zuko y/n this is about you and I no longer trust or want to be around you”. Azula turned to leave and your anger turned to desperation.  "Azula you don’t have to do this" you said reaching for her but she spun around brushing your hand away "who are you to tell me what i have or don’t have to do? I am the princess of the biggest kingdom in the world and you are a mere servant! You don’t speak to me that way ever!". You lowered your eyes and tried not to show how upset her words left you. A mere servant? How many times had Azula told you that you were more than that? And now she was pulling that all away, she was leaving you with Zuko in the middle of a web you’d spun on her orders, you’d manipulated Zuko and almost ruined his relationship on her orders and now she was abandoning you to it. Again as always Azula seemed to read your mind “have fun with zu zu y/n, he’s all you have left” and she stormed from the room.

1 week later

Your POV

"The room is prepared Prince Zuko" you declared. Zuko looked around shocked, you hadn’t been working long but it was true you’d done all he’d asked. He looked around for another job for you to do to make you stay but couldn’t spot any. You been cold and distant as of late and Zuko didn’t like it. "Is there anything else you require?" You asked. Zuko shook his head "no that is fine y/n" and you nodded going for the door. "Wait" Zuko called as your hand touched the door handle. Your shoulders slumped but you turned around passively "yes?". "Y/n are you okay?" Zuko asked. You wanted to scream that question seemed so stupid. Instead you just nodded your head "yes Prince Zuko". You were itching for him to leave you alone but Zuko wasn’t giving up that easy. "No you’re not" he replied. You shrugged not having the energy to argue and Zuko sighed "is it Azula?". You wanted to tell anyone it hurt so much but instead you met his eyes and calmly shook your head "no". Zuko frowned but you didn’t look away from his stare and he sighed "so what is it? You cancelled our training sessions for a reason! And i’ve noticed you’ve been sad y/n, I do notice other people besides myself you know!". You swallowed scared to comment and Zuko frowned again "is it the rumours about us?”. Again you were unsure how to comment, you didn’t want to encourage him or at the same time offend him, he was your employer and the only friend you had left now. "Rumours?" You asked playing dumb and Zuko rolled his eyes "i know you’re aware of them I think everyone is, they all think my interest in you is physical and unprofessional, is that why you’ve distanced yourself from me? If so y/n yo don’t have to I can stop the rumours and we can go back to training". "It’s not about you" you burst before you could stop yourself "I’m not worried my colleagues all despise me or think bad things about me, I dont care the nobels all think I am seducing you for power, I don’t care what they whisper about us as we pass" you burst. You wanted to add the most important one, that you didn’t care Azula didn’t like you anymore but knew that was a lie. Zuko stared at you shocked and you realised you’d just shouted at the heir to the throne and your only ally. "Prince Zuko i’m so sorry..." you started but he cut you off. "No it’s okay I pushed you it’s I who should apologise...but we are friends y/n you can tell me these things". You nodded your head “thank you” but made no move to carry on talking. "You are not happy" Zuko said thoughtfully and he turned to face you. You shrugged in response not seeing the point in denying it anymore. “what if i told you I could help get you away from this? From here?" Zuko asked. You looked at him shocked but truthfully you’d been expecting to be dismissed now Azula didn’t want you here but still it hurt. Regardless you handled it with composure and nodded "where will you resassign me?". "Reassign you?" Zuko asked surpised "y/n i don’t want to send you away!". "You don’t? Then what would you do?" you asked frowning. Zuko paused looking around to make sure his door was closed and lowered his voice “I’m planning on leaving soon and I could take you with me if you wanted". You paused shocked at this statement "you’re deserting the fire nation?” Zuko flushed "well i wouldn’t call it that but yes i guess i am but I never should’ve come back here, it was a mistake, I have to get out of here". "And you’d take me with you?" You asked "why?". Zuko paused "well we know the rumours aren’t true but my family doesn't, if I disappear they will interrogate all those close to me and they’ll turn to you, when I think of what they’ll do to get answers from you, my father alone will...." zuko trailed off before shaking his head "I don’t want to leave you behind to deal with the consequences of my actions, I could sneak you out with me...you could get away from this all if you came with me...what do you think?" Zuko asked. “This is a very kind offer Zuko” you frowned. “But...?” he asked sensing you weren’t totally on board with this plan. Leaving with Zuko would get you out of your situation but something was stopping you. Azula. If you left that would be it for your chances of reconciling what you had with her, you would prove to her she was right and you’d be another person who chose Zuko over her. You’d ruin all you’d had and maybe even Azula. You sighed and looked at Zuko "can i think about it?". Zuko nodded "of course, think it over but don’t take too long y/n the escape is in 2 days".

Azula’s POV

The day of the eclipse was fast approaching and the whole palace was busy  finalising plans. Azula too was rushed off her feet ensuring the barracks were sufficient and she’d liked to have said it distracted her from what happened but it only put it off. Azula could go all day without thinking about it or wondering what was happening right now between you and Zuko but as soon as the silence settled or the planning was done it all came back. She’d hear your voice as you told her you didn’t mean it, how you tried to explain your actions away by blaming them on her. It still made her angry. She heard Zuko’s voice as he told her all you’d said and his promise to keep you safe from him. Azula would give up trying to sleep as the voices got too loud and go back to planning whatever she had left to plan. She double checked, triple checked everything but still she found an excuse to keep her mind from thinking but there were some ocassions she couldn’t help. Azula entered the dining room expecting to see her father and Zuko but saw Mai and Ty Lee instead. To be fair Zuko had been avoiding Azula so she didn’t expect him to be here but she thought her father would want to see her before the move to the barracks. “Where’s my father?” Azula barked and Mai shrugged but Ty Lee tried to smile “we’re not sure but we we’re summonded here instead. Nobody else has shown up so guess this is all ours” Ty Lee smiled looking at the food. Azula grunted but took a seat, she had nowhere else to be, she hadn’t realised how much time she’s spent with you until she cut you out of her life. “We were just talking about the move tomorrow” Ty Lee explained although Azula hadn’t asked “I was saying how I’m jealous Mai’s family got such a good spot! Then again I guess it’s understandable, Zuko probably put a good word in” Ty Lee said making Mai smile slightly. Azula had heard things had improved with Zuko and Mai, she guessed now you were no longer making things difficult Zuko had been forgiven and it was like it had never happened. That made Azula angry, she had lost her plan, her favourite maid, her only confidant, her well...whatever you two had been to one another all because of Zuko and he was happy while Azula was alone and miserable as always. Well not if she could help it, Azula was guessing Zuko hadn’t told Mai everything....

“Yes I’ve heard Zuko’s been keeping his favourites close to his chest lately”. Ty Lee shot Azula a wary look but Mai narrowed her eyes “what does that mean?”. “Ow nothing” Azula smirked “I mean you and Zuko have moved passed that whole buisness I’d hate to drag things back up...”. “Tell me” Mai snapped and when Azula raised an eyebrow she sighed “please”. Azula smirked “well it’s nothing really just that night you and Zuko went to go watch the ember island players and he was late...well he was with the maid. I went to his room to tell him father needed to speak with him and he thought I was you, he had her hid under the bed so you wouldn’t see her. He was late for your date because he was busy with another woman”. Mai slammed her cutlery down and stood up so suddenly the table shook. She threw her chair back and strode out of the room. Azula grinned watching and Ty Lee frowned at her. “Did you have to do that?” Ty Lee asked. “I think she should know my brothers cheating on her, would you rather I lie to her like he’s doing?”. “No but you didn’t have to tell her like that” Ty Lee sighed “it was just mean” and she stood up going after Mai. Azula brushed of Ty Lee’s comment, everyone thought she was mean, evil, a monster so why shouldn’t she act like one? Azula savoured her win over Zuko and smirked thinking about what Mai would do to him but the happiness was short lived. Azula looked around the now empty room and felt the familair pang of loneliness she’s felt growing since she’d dismissed you. It just seemed to be getting worse and if ruining Zuko’s happiness couldn’t even get rid of it could anything? She swallowed hard and stood up, she should get back to work.

Your POV

“Those boxes need going to Prince Zuko’s private room in the baracks” you told the servants who had come to help you move Zuko’s belongings to the bunkers for safety during the eclipse. It was all for show really, Zuko was planning on leaving during the eclipse so wouldn’t really need a room in the baracks but you had to pretend he’d be there the whole time. You’d organised all his possessions and managed to save the few he would need on him when he made his escape without arousing suspicion. You still hadn’t decided if to stay or go and time was running out to put it off any longer. The servants all got to work helping you automatically but none of them would look at you. You knew most were scared of you, they figured you had Zuko’s ear and they weren’t wrong you supposed but it was in a different way than they thought. You picked up a stack of boxes too, determined to show them all you weren’t just Zuko’s accesory and led the way to the barracks. You hadn’t gone far down the coridoor when someone came around the corner. Mai and Ty Lee appeared and they seemed to be arguing or atleast Mai was, she was walking ahead as Ty Lee tried to keep up and seemed angry. You hoped they wouldn’t look up and almost made it past them when Mai’s eyes fixed on you you felt your heart stop. “Stop” she called and all the servants halted. Ty Lee was saying something to her, sje seemed to be begging her not do this but Mai didn’t seem to be listening. She looked at the boxes you were carrying clearly marked as Zuko’s things and that seemed to make her angrier. You always found the girl terrifying but now she looked plain evil. The look she sent you told you she wanted you dead, no worse than dead. “Leave us” she spat at the servants. They were all too happy to leave and rushed off, even plucking the boxes from your hands as they passed leaving you very much on your own. You instantly feared what Mai was going to do to you. You thought her and Zuko had made up since you’d distanced yourself from him but apparently Mai wasn’t ready to move on. Ty lee watched Mai stare at you and frowned “Mai don’t...". Ty Lee go" Mai said her voice flat "i wish to speak to the servant alone". Ty Lee looked at Mai but sighed seeing Mai’s eyes were fixed on you unmoving. Ty Lee looked upset but obediently turned and walked back the way she’d come. Mai stared at you and then moved forwards soundlessly and you instinctively went to step back. “Does Zuko often hide you in his room everytime I visit or just when he’s already an hour late to our date?” Mai asked. You paused confused why Mai was bringing this up now, that night was ages ago why was she angry about it now? Mai didn’t seem to care what you had to say though and carried “do either of you think you’re fooling anyone? Do you think the rumours of the two of you haven’t reach us all? That we don’t know you’re together?”. You stared at Mai not wanting to move, breath or do anything to anger her any more.  "Do you deny it?" she asked stepping closer again and you backed up into the wall. You looked at her helplessly, what could you say? You couldn’t tell her you were just training with Zuko, she’s definitely tell Ozai to have you thrown out of her life for good. "You should speak to Prince Zuko" you told her shakily "I don’t know what I’m allowed to say". Mai gripped you so suddenly you would’ve flinched but her grip didn’t permit it. She had a hand of your throat and the other on a knife you hadn’t even seen her draw. "Not allowed" she spat "acting now like you’re someone who follows all the rules! What being Azula’s pet wasn’t enough to make you feel special you had to have Zuko too? Bet you brag to all your little servant friends, think you’re going to secure your place here through Zuko and some bastard child?". You shook your head "no Mai! That’s not what I want!". Mai only hissed slightly pressing on your neck harder "I should kill you both for the insult to me!". "Mai it’s not what you think" you couldn’t help saying "please talk to Zuko!". "Zuko?" she spat "you dare be so casual about him to me!". You paled more "no Mai i’m sorry, I just meant...". "I always had my doubts, i knew you couldn’t be trusted, i knew Azula did this on purpose, I bet she told you to do this didn’t she? You think you have no choice but we all have choices y/n and you made yours". Mai raised her knife and you closed your eyes ready for her to kill you. Seconds passed and nothing happened. You opened your eyes to see Mai staring at you hard, her face unreadable. You could barely breathe, she was deciding what to do with your life. Finally she let go and you collapsed back against the wall gasping. You looked up at Mai shocked and saw her fist just as it came down and punched you straight in the face. You cried out and fell down against the wall as blood trickled down your face. Mai straightenned looking at you with disgust "you can tell Zuko i gave you that, if he thinks i’ll allow him to keep doing this to me with you he’s wrong, tell him we’re done, I think it should come from you" she said with a twitch of her lip "also tell Zuko to make sure I don’t ever see you again, if I do I won’t be so forgiving, you’ve both been warned" she spat before she turned and left. You breathed haggerdly your heart pounding as you pressed your sleeve to your nose. You were terrified of Mai but also couldn’t help feel sorry for her. If Zuko had just trusted her with your secret or found a less provocative cover none of this would’ve happneed. Now you had an assassin ready to kill you the next time she saw you and your only escape was with Azula’s brother. The bleeding stopped and you stood up slowly. You either stayed and got killed or left with Zuko abandoning Azula here. You wiped away the blood and carried on walking. If you were going to be killed by staying here for Azula you’d atleast do what she hired you to do.

It was early in the morning and you moved through the palace taking back routes so nobody would see you. You didn’t want what you were about to do getting back to Zuko. You went to knock on the door to Azula’s room when it suddenly opened. You’d been prepared to see Azula but still after not seeing her for a week you felt your heart speed up in anticipation but it wasn’t Azula behind the door. “Ow” Ty Lee frowned seeing you and you stared at her. Azula never entertained her friends in her own room and especially not at this time in the morning. You got suspicious and jealous as your mind worked overtime to work out why Ty Lee was there in Azula’s room at this time of day but you couldn’t think of a plausible solution. “Can I help you?” Ty Lee asked and you heard Azula ask who she was talking to. Azula appeared beside Ty Lee and stopped midsentence when she saw it was you “ow”. Shaking away your jealousy you remembered why you’d come here "I need to speak to Princess Azula" you spoke clearly and slowly. Ty Lee looked to Azula whose face was a mask. "Well i'd love to chat about laundry or mopping floors but I’m busy" Azula said going to shut the door. "Please" you said forcefully meeting Azula’s eye "it’s important”. Azula’s face changed as she met your eye and you saw her nervously look to Ty Lee as if making sure her friend wasn’t getting suspicious there had been any sort of relationship between you. "Go" Azula told Ty Lee "I’ll just see what this is about?". Ty Lee nodded “Okay” and Azula watched until she was gone and turned to you.

Azula’s POV

"Well I suppose you should come inside" Azula snapped "I won’t do this is the hallway, what were you thinking coming to be so publically?" She scolded you as the door shut behind you. "I had to" you said annoyed "it’s urgent". Azula rolled her eyes "what’s so urgent?". Azula had been expecting an attempt to get back together or confession of how much you’d missed her. Instead it was nothing about her. "I know what Zuko’s planning". Azula paused unsure if she’d heard you correctly "what?". "I know what Zuko’s planning" you repeated. So she hadn’t imagined that, you’d actually said what she'd dreamt of you saying for ages. Well true more recently she dreamt more of you giving a grand apology that justified forgiving you but that wasn’t going to happen. "Well what is it?" Azula asked as silence settled and you frowned at her. Azula was aware she'd been the one to pause but she hadn’t seen you in a while and you seemed annoyingly fine. Sure you hadn’t looked at her when you first spoke but you’d practically demnded to speak with her, even infront of Ty Lee too. You’d grown confident and Azula could even tell now by how you snapped back at her or only just caught your eye rolls, you weren’t afraid of her anymore. That both annoyed and pleased her. Caught up in her thoughts Azula almost missed what you’d said. "Zuko’s escaping?" she repeated "tomorrow?". You nodded your head "during the eclipse, that’s what he’s been planning". Azula noticed you looked guilty and her jealousy rose again "so why tell me and betray your precious Zuko?" Azula asked aware she sounded childish but she didn’t care. You actually did roll your eyes this time "I know you don’t believe I didn’t mean the things I said to Zuko but i didn’t Azula, I did all of this to get you this information and well it seemed pointless to not tell you so here i am". Silence settled and Azula felt miffed, your answer hadn’t been what she expected at all. "Well if that is all you can go" Azula said coldly turning away. You fixed your eyes on her in disbelief and Azula felt a mixture of anger and guilt. How dare you look at her like she was the bad guy here. She had told you to drop this and didn’t owe you anything. But as you turned to leave Azula got a sinking feeling, this felt final...you’d said this was happening in 24 hours, that was so soon. Why had you told her? Azula knew her brother, he wouldn’t leave you behind. No he’d take you with him and yet you still told her. Was it just because of loyalty to her or had you wanted to see her? To prove you were on her side? Azula frowned, if she told her father Zuko would be imprisoned or killed and you would be dragged down with him, especially when she was forced to reveal where she got this information from. Azula was still angry and confused at you but she didn’t want to be the cause of your death. She couldn’t be even if it did mean bringing down her brother...could she?.

Your POV

The talk with Azula hadn't cleared anything up for you it just made you feel guilty for betraying zuko. You been split by your loyalty to both of them but your feelings for Azula won you over and all for nothing. Azula hadn't responded how you'd wanted her to and now Zuko was going to suffer for your lapse in judgement. You decided you were going to tell him, apologise and maybe convince him to leave early while he still could and so has been waiting in his room for him to return all morning. You were unpacking the last of his belongings while you waited when the door suddenly opened. "Zuko we need to talk" you started but stopped dead in your tracks to see Azula stood there. “Azula? what are you doing here?”. "Well i heard Mai’s got a bounty out for your head so figured you'd be hiding out in here". You paused but realised she hadn't really answered your question “That still doesn’t tell me why you’re here”. Azula huffed at your tone but carried on “I don’t have long the war meeting starts soon so just let me talk”. You pouted but nodded for Azula to go on. “This escape plan?” Azula asked “the one taking place tomorrow, my brother has extended the invitation to you hasn’t he?”. You paused and Azula nodded “I knew it”. “He has” you tried to explain “but i...” but Azula wasn’t listening. “I am not bothered about Zuko being here or not” Azula explained “I will do you this one thing y/n, I will not tell my father about Zuko’s plan to give you the chance to escape, but as soon as you are out of here I will have to hunt down my brother". "Azula" you tried to explain but she cut you off "no just listen, i will have to do that y/n whether i want to or not so my advice to you is to escape and get away from him, leave Zuko as soon as you can and head for the colonies, you can get away there and be safe I won't follow you there”. “Azula” you said annoyed but she carried on “of course you'll need to find work and money to survive, you could steal some of Zuko’s possessions to help start you off, or even ask him for them I’m sure he won’t mind and use the money to build a life in the colonies...”. “Azula” you yelled and she stopped looking at you clearly annoyed “what?”. "I’m not going with Zuko" you told her and she frowned.  "Well why not?" She asked exasperatedly and you sighed "I’m not leaving with zuko, I can’t, not after all I’ve done to him” you sighed and saw Azula roll her eyes. “And I know you think that's stupid” you said noticing her expression “but Zuko isn’t as bad as I thought he’d be and don’t take that personally Azula just because I don't hate Zuko doesn’t mean I dislike you”. Azula pouted and you shook your head ”I feel gulity for what I did to him but that’s not the main reason I’m not leaving” You told Azula “I’ve lied and manipulated Zuko and yes i feel bad for doing it but I did all that for you  because you needed me to do it and well I’d pretty much do anything for you". Azula paused taken back and unsure how to respond just blurted "so why does that mean you can't leave?". You smirked slightly at Azula's blunt response and smiled "because if I leave I‘ll be leaving you here alone, and i know you don’t trust me or even like me but I don’t want to do that Azula, I won’t leave you here alone, I promised you I’d be here for you Azula and so there’s no way I’m leaving you, I won’t, not even if you command me to". 

Azula’s POV

Azula was taken back by your confession and all the emotions it made her feel. She felt scared, vulnerable, angry at you for not saying it sooner, suspicious, confused why you still felt this for her but mainly she felt hopeful. What you said made her excited, it made her feel warm and happy, something she hadn’t felt since she'd parted from you. She felt safe. Azula stared at you softly and you paused "so yeah...you don’t have to reply but i just wanted you to know that". You looked down and turned away “you should go, the meeting will have started now”. Azula reacted too slowly and when she went to call your name tell you not to leave you’d already gone. Azula moved to follow you but the door behind her opened and her father appeared "Azula?" Ozai asked "what are you doing in here? Are you ready for the meeting?". She nodded although her eyes kept flickering to the door you'd just walk out of and she itched to follow you. "Azula!" her father snapped and reluctantly Azula followed him.  

All through the meeting Azula couldn’t concentrate, all she could think about was what you said and how much that meant to her. And more importantly how she couldn't let anything happen to you. As soon as the meeting was over Azula grabbed zuko "i need to talk to you". He glared at her pulling his arm away and it took everything in her body not to just yank his arm and force him to speak to her. "please" she said through gritted teeth and Zuko raised his eyebrows but followed her out of pure shock. As soon as he shut the door Azula started to talk. "You have to take y/n with you" Azula told Zuko and he paused eyes wide "what?"."When you leave tomorrow" she explained. "How do you..." zuko started but Azula cut him off "it doesn't matter, what matters is I know y/n doesn’t want to go but you have to make her! By any means possible". Zuko glared "I’m not forcing her to do anything Azula". Azula sighed angrily he didn't understand. "Zuko if you disappear and she stays do you have any idea what will happen to her? Can your small brain even comprehend what father will do to get information out of her?". "I know that" Zuko snapped and Azula glared "so what's the problem?" She snapped back "she doesn't leave with you then she gets hurt! Or worse! You think your life is worth more than hers! That you can run away and be happy knowing you did that to her?". "No..." zuko frowned and Azula nodded "then make her leave with you! Get her out of the palace and away from here, you have to! Scare her, pay her, guilt her! I don't care what it is just save her!". Zuko stared at Azula shocked to see his sister so desperate. In all his life he'd never seen her so scared, so worried about someone who wasn't herself. "You care about her?" Zuko said shocked "like really care for her". Azula rolled her eyes annoyed it had taken her family this long to notice "just do as i say Zuko, if she get's hurt because of you i'll...". "Got it" Zuko nodded "I'll try and get her to safety Azula I promise". Azula nodded her head suprised she was once pleased with Zuko and grateful for him. "Good" she nodded "i guess it's a good thing I didn't kill you when we were kids". Zuko frowned "thanks?". "You're welcome" Azula nodded before walking away.

Your POV

Zuko knew you wanted to speak to him by the way you kept fiddling with the sleeve of your uniform. Zuko had grown suspicious of you since his meeting with Azula and figured he’d just start the ball rolling. "You told Azula about our escape plan didn't you?" Zuko asked and you froze. Guilt overcame you and you spun around "Zuko I’m so sorry". Zuko nodded his head in recognition but wouldn’t look at you "I suppose it’s okay, she's not going to stop us so it hasn’t changed anything...".  "I know but i feel so bad, I could’ve got you caught or worse by telling her, i don’t know what I was expecting to happen when I told her...I don’t know what I wanted from it" you sighed but zuko frowned. "I think i know why you did it, i think Azula does too...I never realised you were...you're close aren’t you?". You sighed but nodded "I mean I thought we were but I’m not so sure anymore". "That’s why you don't want to leave isn’t it?" Zuko asked "you don’t want to leave her". You were terrified to admit it but also it felt so good just to confess your feelings. "Yes, I can't leave her Zuko, i know you don’t like her but she's not like you think she is...I can't leave her behind to deal with this this all alone". Zuko frowned "well she actually asked me to get you out of here". "She asked you that?" You said suprised Azula went to Zuko for help of all people! Zuko nodded "I’ve never seen her care for anyone before but she was certain I had to get you to leave with me, I think she’s scared of what will happen to you once im gone and I am too y/n". You were grateful and touched Azula and Zuko both cared about you so much but it didn't change your mind. "I can't Zuko" you sighed firmly "I guess Azula won’t be happy but I haven’t changed my decision I can’t leave her behind I...I just can’t". Zuko nodded "I understand, well I don’t but I won’t force you". You smiled sadly "thank you for helping me though I never thought i’d grow to count you as a friend but I did, I just hope i haven’t ruined everything". Zuko shook his head "I don’t like what you did but i get it...you did it for Azula because of how much you like her". You blushed but nodded "still it doesn’t excuse what i did and I’m sorry". Zuko smiled softly and placed a hand on your arm "you're forgiven y/n". 

The escape had gone fairly smoothly. You wanted to see Zuko off so waited by the airships for him when sure enough he appeared out of breath and shaken but he looked fine. “It went okay with your father?” you asked noticing the smell of burning on him. “As well as I expected” Zuko nodded as you passsed him his supplies and the keys to the airship. Zuko took them from you and paused “You still won’t come with me?” Zuko asked and you shook your head smiling sadly  “no”. “You know what they’ll do to you?” Zuko warned you “are you sure you’re willing to accept that?”. You nodded your head “just hurry up and overthrow your father”. Zuko smiled but it was a sad smile and he sighed “y/n...”. “Go” you said hearing the sounds of someone approaching “now!”. Zuko nodded and turned to the airship when Azula appeared. “Honestly I ask one thing of you and you even fail at that” Azula snapped. Zuko looked just as suprised as you that Azula was here. “Azula why are you here?” Zuko asked as if unsure if she was here to help or stop him from leaving. “I came to make sure you got y/n to go with you but as usual you failed”. I won’t force her” Zuko glared “unlike you I don’t just ignore what my friends want”. Azula rolled her eyes “this isn’t a difference in opinion Zuko this is her life you’re letting her throw away” Azula snapped and you stepped inbetween them. “Azula stop, you can’t blame Zuko for this it’s my decision”. Azula finally looked at you and her expression confused you because she genuinely looked scared, something you’d never seen on her face before. “But it’s a stupid decision, do you know what my father will do to you? What I wont be able to stop?”. “I know” you nodded and Azula groaned “so go!” she yelled “run now! disappear! I won’t blame you y/n you have my blessing to do this”. “Sweet as that is I don’t care” you replied. Azula glared at you “you’re going even if I have to put you on the ship myself!”. Zuko watched amazed as you stepped towards Azula and she didn’t back away or push you back. "I told you i’m not leaving" you told her "there no way you’ll get me on that ship atleast not without you". Azula shook her head, you couldn't be serious. "Y/n you have to leave because you’re in danger i’m not" she told you “please go”. Azula stared at you willing you to say yes but you couldn’t. You gently touched her arm and lowered you tone “Azula you know that’s not true, you’re not safe here none of you are”. "You don’t know what youre talking about" Azula glared and you frowned feeling her tense. “Azula your father burned Zuko for speaking out of turn as a child! He’s neglected you emotionally since you were an infant! He sent you out alone across the world to capture the avatar and pitted you and Zuko against one another just because he could! He uses you because you’re valuable not because he values you, you are in danger here Azula just like me and that’s why I’m not going anywhere unless you’re with me". “That’s ridiculous” Azula muttered “my father would never harm me...Zuko was wrong to do what he did...I won’t make a mistake like that ever”. You smiled sadly “you don’t know that Azula and if you do how would your father react?”. Azula flinched away from you and turned so her back was to you “no I can’t”. Azula walked away from you and stood cradling her arms, the sight almost broke you but you had to do this, you were so close.  “Azula” you said softly and she shook her head “stop it y/n”. “Azula please come with me”. She didn’t reply so you walked closer "Even if you think you’re safe here you’re not happy here Azula" you told her "i know you’re not, and that’s not fair Azula”. Azula looked at you and you could see there were tears in her eyes. “I know you’re scared and so am I” you nodded “this life is all we know but it isn’t all thats out there Azula, there’s more for you...for both of us besides this” you said gesturing to the palace “you deserve better than this Azula, you deserve to be happy and loved and appreciated and if we leave we can find all that, we can have all that! All you need to do is come with me" you said standing inches away from here. “Please Azula come with me” you begged hand outstreteched. The silence stretched out and the tension was thick in the air. You held your breath waiting for Azula’s reply, not even contemplating what it would mean if she said no. You lowered your eyes figuring Azula didn’t want to come with you when she moved so quickly it made you jump. Azula grabbed your hand and nodded softly her eyes fixed on you “Let’s go”. 

Epilogue 

You, Azula and Zuko fled the firenation and helped Zuko find the avatar as he planned. From there though you seperated from Zuko. Azula was still torn by her decision to abandon the life she’s knew and joining the rebels didn’t help her process that decision so together you left. You followed Azula’s plan of traveling to the fire nation colonies. It was a rough journey but together you avoided detection and made it to a quiet village where you could lay low. The news from the war was continuous and not easy for Azula to hear. She was struggling to come to terms with what she had done, she’d always planned every inch of her life but now she was without a plan, without a role, without a clear path. Azula considered going back numerous times, not because she missed her father or felt guilty for what she’d done but because she couldn’t see how she could just be Azula and not the firenation princess or a prodogy bender. But each time the thought of leaving you stopped her and you helped her adjust the best you could, reassuring her it was going to be okay and it would all work out. Once the war was won you didn’t have to hide away and Zuko helped you aquire the help Azula needed. Azula started trying to work on herself and you helped her unpack all her unconscious beliefs and traumas. It was hard work and there were many arguments and bad days but you were there for every breakdown, every outburst, every insecurity and you worked through them together. You never wanted Azula to feel alone ever again.  As the months passed azula adjusted more to the idea of just being herself, not a weapon, not a firebending prodogy, not an opponent to her brother, just Azula. And you helped her see being just Azula was good enough, brilliant actually.

10 years later

You sat down in your garden on the bench you'd made a few years ago and smiled. The summer was coming to an end and while it was still warm it was a more relaxed heat you could happily enjoy. You closed your eyes feeling the sun on your face and enjoyed the smells of your garden when you felt someone sit next to you. Azula eased into the bench beside you and rested her arm around the back of your chair as she always did. You smiled placing your hand on her knee out of habit and looked at her. "We've been living here for 10 years now but the view still gets me on days like this" Azula smiled "it’s beautiful". You nodded just watching Azula and admired how content she looked. Azula was still the same strong willed confident woman but she was different now. She was no longer terrified of not being good enough, no longer chasing approval or using manipulation and anger as her weapons. Azula felt your gaze and looked over at you "what?". "Nothing" you smiled lowering your eyes. You both knew you'd been caught admiring her. Azula smirked and rested her head against yours "moments like this feel perfect" Azula smiled "and they only happened because of you". You shook your head "not just me, you chose to come with me, you made that leap not me". "Well yes but I did it for you mostly" Azula shrugged "so it was...inspired by you?" Azula asked and you smiled. "Fine I’ll accept that" you rolled your eyes making Azula grin. "Thank you" Azula said softly watching the turtle ducks in your pond "I don't think I say it enough". "You don't need to thank me" you smiled "I did it for you and being here seeing you be happy and grow as a person...that’s all the thanks I need". Azula blushed, something you still found adorable after all this time, and smiled "well still thank you, you saved me and made me the person i am i'll never forget that...ever" she told you holding your face. You blushed too and Azula smirked. She leant in to kiss you when your gate screeched and you heard a small voice. "Aunt azula! Aunt y/n were here!" Izumi yelled and Azula grinned. "About time!" Azula called "did you dad get lost again?" she asked scooping Izumi up into her arms making her laugh. "Yeah" Izumi giggled "mom’s angry he wouldn’t ask for directions just because he’s the firelord". You chuckled and waved to Zuko and Mai who were in sight at the bottom of the path. "Did you miss me?" Izumi asked and you smiled resting an arm on Azula's back "of course we did" you grinned "our favourite niece". "I'm your only niece" Izumi smirked jumping from Azula to you and you laughed "true but you're still our favourite" and tickled her. Izumi laughed and Azula smiled at the two of you. Izumi ran off to her parents and Azula followed. You stood watching your family and smiled as Azula and Zuko greeted each other warmly and Azula hugged mai like the old friend she was. The sun caught Azula’s face as she laughed at a joke Mai made and her eyes glowed as they had years ago when you'd first started dating. You smiled just seeing her smile and felt the familiar warm happy feeling in your chest. You were both safe, happy and together, still in love after all these years and you couldn’t picture it any other way, your life with Azula was perfect.

-----

So that’s it!!! Sorry it was suppppper long I just had so much to write about Azula! I know the ending might be a bit optimistic or idealistic for Azula but I want Azula to be happy and loved so don’t really care. Plus with help support and therapy I think Azula could totally live a healthy happy life and overcome all her past trauma so wrote that. Thanks for all the likes and support!! I’ve really enjoyed this series and it’s been great to see so many Azula fans are out there. Thanks again!! 

#azula #atla azula #zuko #mai #tylee #atla zuko #atla mai #atla tylee #avatar #Avatar The Last Airbender #atla #avatar imagine #azula x reader #zuko x reader #mai x reader #princess azula #prince zuko #firelord ozai #ozai #fire nation royal family #fire nation royalty #zuko imagine #azula imagine #tyzula #maiko #izumi

[shika-the-satyr]

Criticism

Lets shine some light on Criticism shall well? A key thing I learned when it comes to creating and critiquing. But before I talk about criticism, I would like to talk about a universal currency.

Believe it or not, but all humankind share one kind of commodity, regardless of social status, nationality, race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other sort of categorization.

That commodity is time. We can give our time, invest our time, waste our time, miss our time, lose time, have it stolen, and we can value our time… the only thing we cant do, is have more time. We claim to buy time, but thats really just an exchange of our own time to delay events. Though we dont know how deep our own accounts go, we cant create more of this finite resource.

So when you invest time in watching a movie or reading a book, or any other exchange that didn’t seem worth the trade, its natural to be angry. This was your time and it has value. Simultaneously, the creator of that book or movie, or art piece, or characters, ect can invest a great deal of their own time in that works creation. Its incredibly frustrating to feel that people arent recognizing that effort. Which is where the tension between critics and creatives often arises.

The wrong word from a certain critic can undermine a lot of creative investment. Yet many a critic will defend their role as pushing back against any trivialization of an art form. In a weird way, both sides believe themselves to be creativity’s true champion. And in my eyes, the best critics convey this love for the medium

Somewhere along the way, critics became celebrities in their own right. An idea started to creep in, to stand out and to be noticed many critics rely on the idea that negativity is honesty.

We’ve all been seduced by this at some point. Many many reviewers have gained an audience and kept it by tearing works apart. The online world in particular flocks to this. We see negativity as a voice, shouting down the groupthink. Its a statement that “We are not going to be cowed by the fandom’s whims and so they got to deal with it!”

And it works. Even if people to agree to the negativity, they respond to it. The comment in defense of their favorite characters and episodes, they denounce the critic, and for some its enough to have that response and recognition. As the saying goes, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”.

But given enough time, does the same tactic work? If a critic is consistently negative, regardless of context, I think people begin to see the figure behind the curtain. At most, negativity can become a gimmick, while often its a method towards false confidence. That said, is positivity instant honesty?

Not really. Unwillingness to criticize indicates that someone is starting with the assumption that the work is good and is going backward. There’s a sense that being a fan is taking priority over being honest. So where does the balance lie?

Personally, I dont think it has to do with a quota of positive vs negative comments or reviews. The real challenge is to show love for the art and the expression. If a piece doesn't work, if it fails to register, whats the counterbalance? Can you highlight a work that did the same attempt and succeeded? That’s offering genuine criticism. Because not only are you stating that something didn’t work, but you’re also helping people understand by providing a positive point of reference.

And by criticizing what didn’t work, how much authority can a critic assume? Often times, a negative ‘critic’ will go after the artist more than the artwork. Telling them to keep their hobbies at home or to no inflict their failure on the community. In essence, they’re telling others to stop trying.

If there’s ever a warning light to tune someone out, its when they discourage future attempts. How does the ability to criticize translate into the authority to dictate terms? Attempting to sabotage a person’s efforts is suffocating. You’re drawing a line in the sand with no room for discussion or growth.

I get the sense that this wouldn’t really matter to someone who thrives off of that negativity, people who create cringe blogs, or people who just attack the artist because this isn't about dialogue or insight, its about them. By putting down someone else's work, they present the illusion of intelligence and insight without risk.

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.” - Anton Ego from Ratatouille

This leaves a question if time is currency, how much time should we invest in those who do not create? Being an accomplished artist isn’t a prerequisite for giving feedback. Its the old train of thought, “I dont have to be a chef to recognize a bad meal.”. But how much can this feedback benefit the process? Often times, we can find ourselves under a barrage of words that have an emotional impact but offer very little insight. Even the phrases that can sound positive, often times dont express why they like the piece.

The fact is, not all criticism is created equal. People who have never taken the risk, often lack the perspective to offer insight, so their feedback is often focused on their own entertainment. Yet audiences are vast and can have a diverse set of opinions, often contradictory, so it becomes a judgment call. Who offers the best and most insightful criticism, and who is just making demands?

The thing that kills me is that if I could challenge these so-called ‘critics’, I’m sure their response would be, “I’m just stating my opinion. Its not my fault if others are offended.”. I’ve seen this defense or excuse thrown up so many times, its become borderline comical. This avoidance of responsibility or any acknowledgment that the message didn’t reach the audience. What this message really means is a double standard. The person is saying, “I am not going to invest the time or energy to better craft a message that will reach my audience, yet I expect you to invest the time and energy to pay attention.”

The end result is that the only people who agree, are those who already shared the same mindset beforehand. Very rarely does this sway the opposing view or offer new ideas.

Once again, I’m drawn back to the idea that a negative review can be fun to watch/listen. We might enjoy a sense of validation, we can say “Hey, I’m not the only one who didn’t like that thing.” Yet even then, I cant just point at a reviewer and say, “I’m entertained.” or “This person and I dislike the same things and therefore, they must be good critics.” I find that the critics I go out of my way to watch, offer more than just entertainment.

When Linkara lays into the toxic message that is ‘Holly Terror’, he contrasted about how SuperHeroes can be knights-errant, showing the best in kindness and decency. When Angry Joe went full fury over ‘Ride to Hell’, it wasn’t just about bad gameplay, he also denounced the insulting and juvenile approach towards women and sex. And when BennetTheSage reviewed the anime ‘Fooly Cooly’, he reflected on how our tastes change and evolve with time but that doesn't mean that our past enjoyment was meaningless.

Honestly, the best reviews and critics aren’t those who just pick something to pieces, they’re people who recognize that creativity is an expression of an idea, even if its not well represented. By drawing our attention to the ideas to get people thinking. Bonus points if you can enjoy a laugh along the way. Yet there will always be people who just want to tear others down, attack the artist, and just be overall negative without caring about others or their growth. Whenever you put your work out there, someone else will see it as an opportunity for their own advancement.

What I hope people will take away from this, is where to invest their time. To look at a critics commentary and ask, “Is there a genuine care for the idea or expression?” “Is there just some sort of entertainment value?” Is when I can get a sense that a person is just unfunny and wearing the façade of a critic, is when I say can say “I have a pretty limited amount of time, are you really worth the investment?”

Here’s hoping that you found this long long ‘essay’, worth your own time and that it could help bring a new view to things.

#ooc post #long post

[athenastudie]

TED Talks for students

01/01/2021 

I thought of creating a masterpost for all of my favorites TEDTalks for students in search of inspiration and motivation. The description of the videos is in italics below the title of the videos. 

1. Never, ever give up - Diana Nyad

In the pitch-black night, stung by jellyfish, choking on salt water, singing to herself, hallucinating ... Diana Nyad just kept on swimming. And that's how she finally achieved her lifetime goal as an athlete: an extreme 100-mile swim from Cuba to Florida -- at age 64. Hear her story.

Diana, in a very lively way, tells a very inspirating story about never giving up, with a core message of to be is to do.

2. The art of focus  – a crucial ability - Christina Bengtsson

How do you bring out the best in yourself? According to Christina Bengtsson – Swedish world champion in precision shooting – the answer lies in the word “focus”. It is a phenomenon she has spent her whole career exploring and she warns us that part of the next generation may not possess this ability. Currently, our intense society keeps vying for our attention via media and technology and this is distracting us from breaking personal records. In this talk, Christina teaches us how to stay present and shares her captivating story of literally going from zero to hero by using the power of focus.

3. How to gain control of your free time - Laura Vanderkam

There are 168 hours in each week. How do we find time for what matters most? Time management expert Laura Vanderkam studies how busy people spend their lives, and she's discovered that many of us drastically overestimate our commitments each week, while underestimating the time we have to ourselves. She offers a few practical strategies to help find more time for what matters to us, so we can "build the lives we want in the time we've got."

4.  Grit: the power of passion and perseverance  - Angela Lee Duckworth

Leaving a high-flying job in consulting, Angela Lee Duckworth took a job teaching math to seventh graders in a New York public school. She quickly realized that IQ wasn't the only thing separating the successful students from those who struggled. Here, she explains her theory of "grit" as a predictor of success.

5.  Inside the mind of a master procrastinator  - Tim Urban

Tim Urban knows that procrastination doesn't make sense, but he's never been able to shake his habit of waiting until the last minute to get things done. In this hilarious and insightful talk, Urban takes us on a journey through YouTube binges, Wikipedia rabbit holes and bouts of staring out the window -- and encourages us to think harder about what we're really procrastinating on, before we run out of time.

6.  A simple way to break a bad habit  - Judson Brewer

Can we break bad habits by being more curious about them? Psychiatrist Judson Brewer studies the relationship between mindfulness and addiction — from smoking to overeating to all those other things we do even though we know they're bad for us. Learn more about the mechanism of habit development and discover a simple but profound tactic that might help you beat your next urge to smoke, snack or check a text while driving.

and last but not least, so you dont forget that living truly is above everything:

What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness - Robert Waldinger

hope you enjoy these as much as i do. i learned a lot from them. 

#tags #studyblr #study #studies #student #study motivation #motivation #inspiration #studyspo #studying #ted talks #tedtalks #study tumblr #athenastudie #masterlist #masterpost

[unnyhunny]

dino squad website (circa early 2008)

Hello, everyone! The Dino Squad website from early 2008 is accessible in the Wayback Machine, but as far as I’ve been looking, there isn’t a good post or guide to what’s actually in it.

Like everything in ‘08, this site uses Flash for pretty much everything it does (and PHP for everything else), which can make some things difficult, obviously. I can’t direct you in how to run Flash in 2021, but I wish you the best. The site I’m using is linked below, but there are several in the Wayback Machine that seem to work, although I haven’t noticed any differences yet. I have a few theories about this site, that I’ll get into when they’re relevant.

http://web.archive.org/web/20130210222200/http://www.dinosquad.com/

Feel free to explore! I’ll be leaving my notes down below.

When you enter the site, you’re greeted by this screen, alongside a stock alarm sound, and the Dino Squad theme.

This next part is hard to show, but I’ll do my best. This is actually a cube that you’re just in, and there are interactive elements in the room that, when you hover over them, they have special prompts that go to other areas of this flash site. Also, it is noticeably slow to scroll.

[the floor]

[the wall directly facing the logo, presumably the entrance]

[the wall on the right]

[the wall behind]

[the wall on the left]

[the ceiling]

On the left hand side, there is a Music Player, that goes through memorable tracks from the Dino Squad soundtrack, like “Dino Squad” (the main theme), “Transformation” (the transformation sequence song), and “BaBaBa!”, a song that I don’t remember ever being in the show, and sounds similar to the transformation theme, but acapella. Also, Rump is there, for some reason?

[the music player]

Now, this is where it gets really interesting. There was an ability to make accounts through the site, and gain “Ooze Power” through, presumably, doing well on the mini-games, some bones (?), and a badge system that, when clicked, doesn’t do anything.

[the user profile]

From left to right, the dino silhouettes are: Buzz, Caruso, Fiona, Max, Roger, and...Moynihan? Veloci? It’s impossible to know, but it’s presumably Veloci, because Moynihan wasn’t revealed to be a raptor until the final episode (or second to final episode? I’m a fake fan). 

On trying to click on any of the games, a log-in option comes up -- you need to log in to play the minigames, which means that I can’t play any of them, because it’s impossible to make an account now (I tried).

[the log-in page]

When I try to register, there’s the outline of the Dino Squad logo, but no site content shows up besides that. This is a running theme, so I’ll only show the emptiness once. Also, it’s important to note that I think the tube at the top of the window is ooze, which is a delightful touch.

[the empty screen]

The interactive elements of the room are either mini-games or character/story info sheets, so I’ll go through them one by one, starting with the character/story info.

Character/Story Information

Right by the door, there is a green monitor that offers you the ability to “Get the 411 on the DinoSquad, their vehicles and weapons.” Unfortunately, they won’t be quite able to deliver.

[characters hover-over text]

Here is the character select screen. Did you know that it’s Rodger, not Roger? I didn’t. Unfortunately, of the characters listed here, only Caruso and Victor have their original info, which will be displayed first without comment below.

[character select screen]

[caruso’s info sheet. if someone else wants to transcribe this, be my guest, but there’s just too much text for me to do time-wise.]

[victor’s info sheet.]

On another green monitor, Dino Video would be available, where you could “Watch the latest DinoSquad shows and video clips online”. Unfortunately, it brings up a menu with two choices, and neither of them work.

[dino video hover prompt]

[menu options for dino video]

Next, we have the Dino Dictionary, with “Crazy facts about the Dinosaurs that roamed and ruled the earth for over 160 million years.” Unfortunately, these links are dead, too, but they’re shown as options in the archive file web, so they might be viewable.

[dino dictionary hover text]

[dino dictionary menu options]

Next are the character hovers. These would, on click, take you to their page. Only Victor’s and Caruso’s work.

[veloci hover text]

[max hover text]

[caruso hover text]

[fiona hover text]

[rodger hover text]

[buzz hover text]

Next, we have some tips for going green. This is the same reference center that the Dino Dictionary uses, so it likewise doesn’t work.

[Go Green! hover text]

Moynihan and Rump’s text comes next. I can’t imagine what the log entry for Rump would have been.

[moynihan hover text]

[rump hover text]

That was all of the informational parts of this website. Now, it’s time for some fun.

Mini-Games

Or it would be, if they worked.

For all of the following, it just prompts the login page on-click, so I can’t really do anything or show what it might have looked like, unfortunately.

The first game is Dino Dodge, where you “Test your skills at this crazy game! Catch the bones, badges, and ooze, but dont [sic] get hit by the Dino-skulls!”

[Dino Dodge hover text]

Next, My Squad. This is where you’d click to party up and stuff, I’m guessing, but it just brings me to the Login page, and I can’t do anything with it.

[my squad hover text]

[what the squad page could have looked like. under it, with the circles and icons, could have been a way to display your most awesome badges.]

Next, and possibly the saddest part of these, is RaptorQuest. “Your Squad will need all the ooze power possible to complete these 3D missions to save the world from evil primordial ooze.” I don’t know what this could have entailed, but it sounds like all of the ooze power from playing the games mattered here, and that there were 3D missions that could have had something of a storyline are gone? I’m in mourning.

[RaptorQuest hover text]

After RaptorQuest is Oozefest, a game where you “Load up on ooze and fire away at Victor Veloci and his side-kick to send them back to their primordial state in these three Dino-levels!” Presumably, oozing them is a bad thing in this game, although how well that holds up to canon is debateable.

[oozefest hover text]

My Badges is next.

[my badges hover text]

The final game is Hyperdino. My immediate guess is that this would play like the Manhole Game-and-Watch game?

[hyperdino hover-text]

[manhole game]

Some Interjections

1. This website was made very early on, and was probably only using the pilot characterization.

Most importantly to this being that Fiona’s penchant for speed is what is most notable about her here, when that was really only in the pilot/dino-cycle part, near the very start of the show. The logo isn’t necessarily a giveaway, but the Max/T-Rex picture at the top is one that I don’t see much except on early promo art.

2. Did they make new art for this website, with this room, or was this an early base idea?

3. Why was there an option to advertise, and where would the ads be shown?

4. Victor has many weapons and vehicles, but doesn’t have the wonderful Dino Dirigible yet?

5. This site (and its Flash) isn’t backed up besides the WayBack Machine.

It’s not in BlueMaxima’s Flashpoint, but I couldn’t extract the whole swf file from the html -- just the landing page, with Max and the alarm. If there’s a way to back this all up as one swf, that’d be spectacular, but from what I can tell, it’s using a mix of swf files and other files to deliver content.

Thank you for reading, and I hope exploring the site is/was fun! If you find anything I didn’t, please reblog and add!

#dino squad #early internet #digital preservation

[crazyyfilmyfreak]

The Devil All the Time ( 2020 )

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS FREE REVIEW

"There's a lot of no-good sons of bitches out there"

Okay alright first of all 

This is not your generic go-to netflix crime thriller if you are watching it with that intention everything is wrong with you 

This Film is dark , not just dark but dark as hell which is filled with gore elements which also includes a multi layered story telling and the film is filled with a group of astonishing cast members and every one of them has a potential to carry the whole film on their shoulders with no hard work but just with grace and ease so these reasons altogether might have over hyped few people's expectations and i think that is the main reason why i am seeing some mixed reviews here and there online or maybe just because you started watching this film with a very wrong intent or wrong mind set like i said before and i am stressing this so much because of in my opinion this film is just perfect maybe there are flaws obviously every film will have flaws but i just couldn't see them ? Maybe because i am a big fan of tom holland i might be little biased but to me this film is top notch and this is a perfect film film 

Now speaking about the cast & film overall 

This is a very slow paced slow burning piece of art 

It takes you to the places you can never think of mentally and it makes you feel completely lost in emotions by the end of the film making you numb 

Antonio Campos is a fucking genius i love his way of story telling 

He's honest , he knows what he is doing , he loves taking risks and he never fears when ever he goes out of the conventional film making style and i very much love how he connected every character in the film like i mean every character in the film is interconnected and if you remove any one character you will feel the void , disturbance and unbalance in the film. 

Film lovers might argue with me or hate me for saying this but i feel this film is so much better than christine 👀🤝🏻 atleast to me ? And this is coming from a person who also loved it a lot 

Now the cast 

I cant speak about everyone in the film because this has such a long list of talented actors 😭 who rocked in the film i am only going to speak abt some of my favourite performances as of now i promise to speak about every other cast member and their performance in the later days coz i am very sure this is a film i am going to talk a lot from now and this is also a film that i am going to watch and enjoy in the future days 

First TOM FUCKING HOLLAND 

I have been seeing this dude's films even before the civil war where he played the spidey role and i always felt he was a very raw and potential actor since his childhood but after seeing him in civil war and spider man hoco its just impossible for me to not like him as an actor ? HE IS SO GOOD ON SCREEN and he makes you believe everything when ever he's on screen maybe its swinging from wall to wall or putting a donut or whatever into a guys mouth while kicking his ass and making it look bad ass af🔥 few might feel this are such a silly examples to say but to me this is about how tom brings a realistic approach to a scene and makes it good and i have always been a big fan of tom holland since spiderman hoco and this is nothing related to tdat but y'all might already know timothee was the second closest option of mcu to cast as spidey and tom grabbed that role ever since tom is just busy with mcu films and where as timothee had a incredible and unbelievable growth as an ACTOR for real to me that is stunning because he did it in such short of span and to me as fan of tom holland part of me was always loving him as spidey but a big heart of me felt a void and sad because tom is missing a lot of great opportunities which has a chance to showcase his real acting abilities which made me think what if timothee got the spidey role instead of tom? Maybe we would have seen a serious tom holland as an actor and this thought killed me everytime but everything happens for a reason and tom holland is undoubtedly the best spidey we have ever got and anyways when films like tdat happen many people realise and understand how great and how fucking incredible tom holland is as an actor and i love when everyone appreciate him for this !! It makes my heart very happy and this is the exact reason why this film is so personal and special to me 

Sorry for completely deviating from the film but this is tumblr and i am not a serious film critic lol so forgive me. 

And speaking about his performance in the film he is just surreal and outstanding . The character that he played is a very complicated one not many relate to that character but every one can understand his emotions, actions and intentions in the film and all the credit goes to tom for bringing a life to that character and playing it in such a beautiful way listen to me very carefully when i am saying this not many actors from this generation can bring bundle of emotions at the same time in a same scene but tom holland does that with such an ease and i stg i am not exaggerating if you watch the film you will know what i mean !! And i am very proud to say i am his big fan 

Now Robbert pattinson 

What the fuck should i talk about this asshole 😂🖕? 

My dude's been killing it since remember me and as an actor like i said in the Tenet Review he has matured a lot as an actor since good time and he played a very powerful and sick role in the film i am not gonna spoil it for others just go and watch the fucking film atleast for him he did a great job and i dont understand how the women and gays are dealing with him? Seriously even as a straight guy its hard for me to concentrate on the film or scenes where ever he's present because this asshole is so fucking hot and sexy 👉👈 The directors should either deglamorise him by making him fat or bald or just hide his face with prosthetic make up or sth just like how directors hide tom hardy's face in every film he's in 🙄. Now coming back to his performance its really hard to dominate him when ever he's on screen dude just want all the attention towards him , such a selfish actor huh 

Bill Skarsgard 

He played a very important and crucial role in the film he maynot have big screen time but we can totally feel his presence through out the film i think this one sentence explains how important his character is to the film and how well he potrayed the role and he's the only guy in the film who got an incredible character growth throughout his journey in the film

Harry Melling 

It would be very unfair if i dont speak about harry's performance in tdat 

DUDE KILLED IT . HE SCARED ME WITH HIS EMOTIONS AND EXPRESSIONS . He didn't even a play a negative role but he just added a lot of depth not only to his character but also the film with his intimidating portrayal 

Sebastian stan 

This is the most honest and a very raw performance from Sebastian stan so far ( i am saying this based on the films that i have seen of his ) i just wish he had more screen time thats the only thing that i didnt like in the film also there are so many blanks that needs to be filled about his character 

Eliza Scanlen

I dont remember her from any film or tv series that i have seen before but she's outstanding in the film , the character doesnt have much something new to offer so i can't speak a lot for her but as far as the character concerned she did her best and her performance is a impressive one and many people are gonna love her . 

Riley Keough 

Unlike the previous films & tv series she's been in 

This film gave her a very challenging role and she's the only women in the film who's been through ups and downs and has a very complicated but a impressive character growth with minimal limitations and dimensions 

She was fabulous and incredible . It just stuns me how the character has begin and how it ended at the end 

And special mention to jason clarke and the old couple who played grandparents ( kind of ) to Arvin Russel and lenora . Not all heroes wear the cape. 

Finally despite the mention of god several times in the film this is not really about god at all its about the DEVIL , The DEMON that carries and plays a very pivotal role in the film you cannot see it but you can sense it and feel it 

Its about the blind faith, its about the irreversible & inescapable fate . I really love how Antonio Campos has connected all the dots by the end of the film with a very impressive film making and with a steady gothic theme running till the end internally and i haven't completely finished the book ( The devil all the time ) but if anyone really wants to completely bring the book life they cannot do it in a single film it will take you atleast 4 or 5 tv series to do so but Antonio Campos did it with a single film and added a very deep meaning to the core of the film w/o deviating from the roots of the book & even touched the aspects like duality of a man and some of you grateful fucks are complaining about him 

OBVIOUSLY films ard subjective but you all need to be more open about this film 

In simple words please fucking watch this film guys 🤗❤ 

This one is not for everyone but everyone will have atleast a small aspect in the film that y'all are going to like / love / hate / discuss about. 

The devil all the time is violent , brutal , honest and perfect in every possible way atleast to me and i really want you all to watch it if you're into such type of stuff 

Remember No country for old men ? Now make it 10 times more violent but add some meaning to it with a realistic approach but more slow burning drama and a little bit of darkness ... now that is what The Devil all the time is .

Gif credits : Milesgmorales

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