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fuckyeahdindjarin · 7 months

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Seams drabble: Patch

{ Part IV: Notch | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }

Rating: None

Summary: Ellie finds a Pride-themed sew on patch that leads to revelations.

Warnings: Pure fluff and love for this girl, some angst, coming out, total disregard of canon because I don't know how it goes in the game.

Word count: 1.3k

Notes: This idea struck me out of the blue many months ago, and I was waiting for 'the right place' in the series, until I mentioned it to a dear friend in passing conversation and then I just started writing it. Very lightly edited. Set at unspecified time frame after Part IV.

Ellie hums to herself from her spot in a cosy corner of the Outfitters, one watchful eye on the door. It’s an uncharacteristically slow Saturday, but she’s not complaining - she has her hands full.

A big canvas sack lies empty on the floor, its contents strewn haphazardly all over the wooden floor. The mess drives you up the wall, but you know better than to question her (very questionable) methods, so you’re ensconced in the safety of your studio while she sorts through the clothes and odds and ends that the patrollers brought back from their most recent outing.

Though infrequent - most settlements around Jackson have been painstakingly pilfered for anything useful over the years - it’s her favourite duty at the shop. Lucy is looser with the rules, but sometimes, you let Ellie keep little knick knacks that won’t sell.

The teenager goes through the pile thoroughly. Shirts go in one stack, jeans in another, followed by shoes, hats and scarves. Turning to the heap of smaller loose trinkets, she separates mismatched buttons, safety pins, shoelaces and zippers (as Maria always says, every little help), when something colourful piques her attention.

Plucking the piece of fabric out of the jumble, Ellie recognises it as a decorative patch that she’s seen sewn onto bags and shirts. It’s the size of her palm, cut in the shape of a rainbow, the colours still bright. Over the arches, bold white text outlined in black spells out NYC PRIDE 2003.

Tucking it into her pocket for now, she quickly finishes the rest of the sorting. Clothes go into the bin to be collected by the laundry, shoes for the cobbler’s, and accessories into a box to be priced and shelved.

Ambling into the back of the shop where you’re busy hemming a pair of jeans, Ellie plops into one of the rolling chairs, straddling the back of it, and the wheels screech as she careens across the floor to your sewing station.

Your lips quirk as you look up briefly at her. ‘Find anything interesting?’

‘Just this,’ she replies, flashing you the patch and reading aloud, ‘NYC Pride 2003. What does that mean?’

‘There used to be a big pride parade for the LGBT community every year in New York City,’ you explain. ‘They used to close down the streets and everything for it, it was a huge event.’

Ellie blinks, your answer taking her by surprise. She clears her throat, a distant buzzing at the back of her head as she turns the patch over pensively in her hand. ‘What - do you know what it was like?’

‘I’ve never been to one, but it always looked incredible. People used to line the streets in support, and everyone dressed up. There’d be rainbow flags everywhere, floats, dancing, music, and of course, it was an important way for the community to highlight and push for LGBT rights.’

‘You mean -’ she pauses, the unfamiliar feeling of stumbling over her words making her hands sweat. ‘You mean, people would just be out in public, like, being themselves?’

‘More than that - they were celebrating themselves.’

Ellie doesn’t realise she’s fallen quiet until you speak, ‘You can keep it if you want.’

Her head snaps up, disoriented. ‘Keep what?’

‘That.’ You nod towards the patch she’s clinging onto so tightly that her knuckles have gone white.

Panic prickles the back of her neck, an embarrassed heat suddenly making her want to pull at the collar of her flannel. But then you shrug and say, almost flippantly, ‘It’s pretty.’

‘Yes,’ she blurts out in hasty agreement, letting out a breath she’s been unconsciously holding. ‘It’s very pretty.’

Ellie is relieved when you turn back to the sewing machine, leaving her to retrace her steps to the front of the shop. The patch sits on the counter, where she leaves it, as she goes about her business for the rest of her shift.

Her eyes travel to the rainbow, and she thinks of how she wasn’t like the other girls at school, who fawned over dogeared photos of singers and actors long dead. She thinks of how she’s always known she’s different, but didn’t have the vocabulary to express it.

She thinks of Riley.

Riley.

For Riley.

When half three rolls around, you spot the teenager lingering by the studio doorway out of the corner of your eye, her backpack dangling from her fingers. Any other Saturday, you’d be lucky to catch the blurry shape of her shadow when she gallops out of the shop, throwing a see ya over her shoulder.

Thrown by her silence, you prompt, ‘Yes, Ellie?’

Scruffing the tips of her well-worn sneakers on the floorboards, she bites her lip in an atypical display of hesitance. ‘Pin, could you help me sew the patch onto my backpack? Please?’

You smile, eyes soft. ‘I’d love to. C’mon.’

‘You don’t have to do it now,’ she protests, feigning nonchalance, but her twitchy hands give her away. ‘Like, whatever, it’s no big deal.’

Wanting to put her at ease, you shrug. ‘No time like the present. Where do you want it?’

Putting her bag on your work surface, she points. ‘Guess right here under the wings.’

‘Perfect. Can you unzip the bag for me?’

You have Ellie hold the rainbow exactly where she wants it while you thread the needle, and you start sewing it in by hand, stitch by tidy stitch. It barely takes a couple of minutes, but time is of the essence - you haven’t heard the girl take a single breath of air since the anchor stitch.

Snipping off the thread with a flourish and giving it a once over, you grin. ‘There, all done.’

Ellie ducks her head, quiet as she takes the bag from your hands, running a thumb over the arches of the rainbow. Without a word, she suddenly throws her arms around you, hugging you tight.

‘Thanks, Pin,’ she mumbles into your hair.

Your heart swells, and you squeeze her back even tighter. ‘Anything for you, kiddo.’

On Monday morning, Ellie hovers in the hallway outside the kitchen, observing.

Joel is at the table, oblivious with his back to the door, her breakfast of two fried eggs over and easy and toast waiting at her usual spot at the table. Taking a deep breath, she bites the bullet and walks in, backpack in her hand.

‘Mornin’,’ grunts Joel, almost done with his own eggs, sunny side up.

‘Morning,’ she parrots back as she makes herself comfortable.

She usually just dumps her bag on the floor, but today, she pulls out the chair next to her and drops it into the seat. The unusual movement catches Joel’s eye, and he takes a good long look at the backpack.

Eventually, he points vaguely in what she assumes is the direction of the rainbow patch, and says, ‘That looks new.’

‘Yup, Pin helped me sew it on.’

He purses his lips, asking around a mouthful of egg. ‘You know what Pride is?’

She swallows thickly, and it takes a beat to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. ‘Yeah, Pin told me.’

He nods, then turns his attention back to his plate with no fanfare.

Not entirely sure if he caught the nuance but her mind too in knots to care, Ellie picks up her fork and doesn’t think twice when he gets up to put his dish in the sink.

She nearly chokes on eggs when strong arms close around her shoulders in a vice-like grip, scratchy beard on her temple, Joel’s voice so thick that it makes her think if she turns around, she’ll see tears in his eyes.

‘Proud of you, baby girl.’

Later that afternoon, Joel finds you alone in the shop, restocking the women’s outerwear rack.

You toss him a smile over your shoulder. ‘Hey, what are you doing here?’

‘Lucy ‘round?’ he asks.

‘When is she ever?’ you quip with no bite.

Three steps and he’s spun you around by the waist, soft lips latching onto yours in a sweet kiss with just a hint of heated aftertaste that has you swaying on your feet when he pulls back.

A breathless laugh bubbles in your throat as you palm his whiskered jawline. ‘Why, thank you for that, Mr. Miller.’

The corners of his eyes crinkle, and he brushes his nose tenderly against your cheek. ‘No, thank you, sweetheart.’

Notes: I hope I wrote Ellie's coming out as sensitively as I hoped to. As I mentioned, I have no idea how or if she comes out in the game, but despite being such a chatty teenager, I think she'd find it difficult to broach the subject with Joel in conversation. For me, this was a fun way of weaving in her part-time job at the Outfitters and Pin into her coming out story that stays true to Ellie's character. I hope you enjoyed this - comments and reblogs appreciated as always!

P.S. I am not 'back' back, so I don't know when I will next update Seams. Thank you for your patience while I try to navigate my way back to some semblence of writing regularly, whenever that may be.

Thank you @firefly-graphics for the dividers ❤️

#fuckyeahseams #seams drabble #the last of us fanfiction #ellie william fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader

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romanarose · 3 months

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Triple Frontier Write-A-Thon

Hosted by @romanarose and @for-a-longlongtime

Hello everyone! March 13th of this year is the 5 year anniversary of Triple Frontier, a movie that was underrated but very precious to all of us. To me, it is a comfort movie and something that through fics and fandom has helped me process a lot of things.

Charlie Hunnam announced recently that there is potential for a sequel and he is trying to get it in production and has signed on as a producer. Me and @for-a-longlongtime want to both drum up a little noise and celebrate this media we all love so much!

How it works

Write a fanfiction of Triple Frontier, following the content rules listed below. This is for both art and fanfiction. We encourage you to utilize twitter or instagram if you’d like to share either, and #triplefrontier or #triplefrontier2019 on any site you post on. If you don’t want to make art or write, we encourage you to use social media platforms with the hashtags to help make some noise.

We are highly encouraging LGBT themes and for you to think outside of x f!reader.

All fics that fall under the rules are encouraged, so if you write Santiago Garcia x afab!f!reader, that’s great! But we’d like to take this time to encourage gay/bi pairings, trans readers, or even trans interpretations of the boys. Branch out!

When you post, tag @triplefrontier-anniversary on tumblr and we will reblog it there. We also may reblog onto our main, so consider tagging one or both of us so we know what’s up! Please follow that page to see what other people are writing! In the tags, please tag it triple frontier write a thon, just to make everything easily found.

If you want to post art that tumblr doesn’t allow like nude art, link the content in a tumblr post, like a twitter link, and we’ll reblog that!

If you exclusively write on ao3 or wattpad or other, you can either make a link on a tumblr post and tag us. Other option is to message me (RomanaRose) privately and I’ll make a post and link you and reblog it to the page.

Rules

We will run from March 1st to March 14th. Fics and art posted before or after will not be counted.

This is not a dark event, sorry! Some of us enjoy dark content but wanted to keep this particular event mostly non-dark. That being said, we will allow dub con in the context of mild alcohol use, power dynamics etc. Kidnapping/arranged marriage etc is fine as long as consent is given for anything sexual. Mostly we are looking to avoid non-con/violence. If you have questions, don’t be afraid to reach out to us!

All participants must be 18+, although smut is not required

No incest, including Millercest. None of the usual ‘no’s’, such as underage content apply in addition to no dark.

We have the right to exclude any fic that makes us uncomfortable. It’s our event.

However, we will NOT be excluding people for personal biases, unless it encroaches on our boundaries. I.E. If we have you blocked, please don’t try to enter the event. However, if we’ve had petty beefs or you and one of our mutuals don’t like each other, we generally will include your work. This event is to promote Triple Frontier, not about us.

LGBT themes are highly encouraged, not required.

Tom is allowed. We’re not gonna tell you not to include him if that’s what your little heart desires. However, we highly encourage that your work includes at least one of the usual 4

Leave me alone I love Arrested Development, RIP Carl Weathers.

We hope everyone has fun and this drums up more Triple Frontier fics, in which we are severely lacking!

Remember to reblog and comment to support artists!

Please come to us with any questions!

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for-a-longlongtime · 3 months

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JOIN US for the Triple Frontier 5th Anniversary Write-A-Thon!

Hosted by @romanarose and @for-a-longlongtime

Hello everyone!

March 13th 2024 will be the 5 year anniversary of Triple Frontier, a movie that was underrated but very precious to us all. Whether Frankie Fridays rock your world, you're a Benny kinda-person, you've got a thing for Santi, or are counting everything all the time just like Will - there are so many of us.

Charlie Hunnam announced recently that there is potential for a sequel; he is trying to get it in production and has signed on as a producer. Do we want this? HELL. YEAH. Let's be real, we've probably all thought about how that would go. So @romanarose and I wanted to drum up a little extra excitement all over the place and spread some love for this movie that many of us have watched so many times! (Probably every week. I have no shame admitting this.)

Here's what's happening

It's super simple: create a fanfic of Triple Frontier, any way you like and with any characters you want. Most people will be inclined to write a story, but we always greatly welcome other artistic interpretations. We've listed some content rules below just to make sure it's fun and accessible for everybody, so please check it out. This is for both art and fanfiction. We encourage you to utilize Twitter or Instagram if you’d like to share either, and #triplefrontier or #triplefrontier2019 on any site you post on! Even if you don't plan to participate, please feel free to share this (or other) posts.

Please note you do NOT have to write a 'sequel' to TF; any fic with any Triple Frontier character will do, in pretty much any situation. A 500 word ficlet will be awesome, as will a 20K story, a painting or digital art be!

🏳‍🌈 We are highly encouraging LGBT themes and for you to think outside of x f!reader. 🏳‍🌈

👉 If you are writing reader insert, we strongly encourage you to encompass a broad scope of readers if you aren't going to specify the demographic. 👈 (FYI, @idolatrybarbie made a great, important post about the need of inclusive reader inserts a couple of months ago.)

All fics that fall under the rules are encouraged, so if you write Santiago Garcia x afab!f!reader, that’s great! But we’d like to take this time to encourage gay/bi pairings, trans readers, gender neutral characters or readers, or even trans interpretations of the boys. Branch out!

🚨 When you post, PLEASE tag @triplefrontier-anniversary on Tumblr and we will reblog it there. We also may reblog onto our main. Please follow that page to see what other people are writing! In the tags, please tag it triple frontier write a thon, just to make everything easily found.

If you want to post art that Tumblr doesn’t allow things like nude art, link the content in a Tumblr post, like a Twitter link, and we’ll reblog that!

If you exclusively write on AO3 or Wattpad or other, you can either make a link on a Tumblr post and tag us. Or message @romanarose privately and they’ll get this set up for you so we can reblog.

Triple Frontier Write-A-Thon Rules

We will run from March 1st to March 14th. Fics and art posted before or after will not be counted - we're trying to keep things manageabel!

This is not a dark event, sorry! Some of us enjoy dark content but wanted to keep this particular event mostly non-dark. That being said, we will allow dub con in the context of mild alcohol use, power dynamics etc. Nothing cooercive, anything sexual should be done with consent. Mostly we are looking to avoid non-con/violence. If you have questions, don’t be afraid to reach out to us!

All participants must be 18+, although smut is not required

No incest, including Millercest. No underage content, no grooming, no - do we really need to list it all here? Again, this is not a dark fic thing.

We have the right to exclude any fic that makes us uncomfortable. It’s our event.

However, we will NOT be excluding people for personal biases, unless it encroaches on our boundaries. This event is to promote Triple Frontier, not about us.

LGBTQ+ characters and themes are highly encouraged, not required. Any fandom thrives when it's inclusive, so we want to explicitely welcome and encourage authors to be themselves and write what they want! Or perhaps even try something new, if so far you've only written P boys x f!reader/OFC.

Tom is allowed. We’re not gonna tell you not to include him if that’s what your little heart desires. However, we highly encourage that your work includes at least one of the usual four guys.

(We don't know WHY you would want this but but FINE. If you must...)

We hope everyone has fun and that this will drum up some more Triple Frontier fics! It's just a fun little thing we want to do in order to celebrate all of you as authors, artists and the movie/characters that have made such an impact on many of us.

Once we start reblogging your entries at @triplefrontier-anniversary starting March 1st, remember to reblog and comment to support artists!

Please come to @romanarose or me with any questions!

PS: Just to make sure there's no confusion - this write-a-thon is explicitely about the Triple Frontier characters, so there's no RPF.

#triple frontier #pedro pascal #oscar isaac #charlie hunnam #garrett hedlund #fanfic #triple frontier fanfiction #francisco morales #santiago garcia #william miller #ben miller #triple frontier 5th anniversary #triple frontier smut

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piwstri4 · 2 months

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un coco | ln4

pairing: f1 driver!ex!lando norris x fashion designer!ex!reader summary: your life goes on but what about your peace? fc: rosalía part two - part four

ynclo and landonorris recently added to their stories

ynclo (tagged: arthur_leclerc)

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ynclo los carros de f1 son más rápidos en persona view all comments

arthur_leclerc don't ever come near me again ynclo › arthur_leclerc 👍🏽

lewishamilton Thank you for coming! ynclo › lewishamilton anytime!!

user4 girly really said f1 cars are faster in person and called it a day user1 › user4 lmaoooo yn didn't even bother

user2 mother is BACK!!

user3 the last pic omg

danielricciardo And what about ME? ynclo › danielricciardo girl next time send me an invite

user5 arthur doing the yn kiss face im DEAD

user6 lewis comment????

user7 never beating the ferrari garage allegations i see user8 › user7 well probably thur's idea? let's not forget she only ever went to alphatauri's and mclaren's bc of her connections.. user7 › user8 ik it's just kinda weird

now trending: #ynyln #ferrari #formula1

ynclo (tagged: kyliejenner, lalalalisa_m, bellahadid)

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ynclo y que vivan las mujeres!! view all comments

user1 my mothers 😭😭��

user2 something lgbt is happening to me

bellahadid ❤️ ynclo › bellahadid ❤️💕💖💞💋

lalalalisa_m let's do that again !! ily ynclo › lalalalisa_m whenever you say bby ❤️💞 (ily+)

user3 you're telling me she posted men just for the hell of it????

user4 guys she's just simping for women take it or leave it user5 › user4 translation 🔫🔫 user4 › user5 ??? (long live women)

kyliejenner omg we're so hot 🥵 ynclo › kyliejenner who's we??? i can only see one hottie (you)

user6 aren't we noticing some lack of... luka? user7 › user6 i didn't wanna say anything but user8 › user6 i was thinking the same!!

user9 yn world tour and i love it

user10 mom where's dad???

user11 i can't go through another divorce PLEASE

ynclo, arthur_leclerc and landonorris recently added to their stories

ynclo (tagged: arthur_leclerc)

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ynclo italy roadtrip (@ scuderiaferrari can i drop him off at yours?) view all comments

arthur_leclerc 😡😡😡 ynclo › arthur_leclerc i was this close🤏🏽to kicking your ass next time im driving all the way to maranello arthur_leclerc › ynclo boohoo we drove all the way to maranello stfu

user1 omg????? yn?????

user2 guys where is luka?? 😔😔 user3 › user2 fr where's my bestie luka??? is she dating this guy now?? user4 › user3 "this guy" 🤡🤡 that's her best friend

user4 im happy and all but missy........

user5 la vita senza amore che vita è????????? yn???????? the post???????? user6 › user5 i don't get it 😭😭 user5 › user6 what life is a life without love basically

user7 congrats???

scuderiaferrari you can have him girl ynclo › scuderiaferrari no. ❤️ arthur_leclerc › scuderiaferrari ?????

vogueitalia beautiful ynclo > vogueitalia ❤️

you've got 4 unread messages!

you may like this tweet!

#formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 social media au #formula 1 angst #formula 1 instagram au #lando norris angst #lando norris au #lando norris fanfic #lando norris smau #lando norris instagram au

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lgbt-cishet-movie-tournament · 11 days

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Most LGBT cishet movie?

Movie Submissions!

Sometimes a cishet movie is a hit in this community even without any stories or characters reflecting us (or at least not explicitly or intentionally or... tastefully). Either because of its campiness and witty banter, its drama, its weirdness, amazing soundtrack and costumes or its diva-like personality taking center stage. Please don't take this poll seriously.

Examples of movies that follow the rules below:

The Wizard of Oz (1939), Clue (1985), The Exorcist (1973), The Servant (1963), The Sound of Music (1965), Heathers (1988), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), All About Eve (1950), Jawbreaker (1999), What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), 9 to 5 (1980).

Rules for Submissions:

Please don't fight we're literally just ranking the straightest gay movies and transest cis people. The most conforming and queer paradox.

Because of the tendency of this site to call something "gay" just because 2 conventionally attractive men stand next to each other for 5 seconds, I'm not counting shipping possibilities that much. The level of drama, camp and the number drag parodies it has is way more important than possible romantic relationships or sexual tension in submitted films. Also there's ace and aro people voting. Keep them in mind!

It has to be cishet but somehow still queer. Can be the camp, general weirdness, gnc clothes, sassiness, the inclusion of a diva, accidental coding, or some other secret option. Honestly if you find a way to reason so hard it works, you could even try to submit The Godfather (... it is very quotable...)

Submit movies that aren't just American!

Submit movies that are cult classic masterpieces or movies that objectively suck!

I love Mamma Mia but it does have gay characters. This poll came about because I found that a lot of older movies had queer fans that were able to connect to others through these movies while creating their own spaces. This was despite the movie being "straight and gender conforming". I love that there's more rep now, but I'm aiming for this to poll contain more vintage movies for a reason. and I want to expand my watchlist. I'm aware that there are movies from the 70s, 1920s, and other older eras with explicitly gay themes and characters like Victim 1961 or Salome 1920 (and I encourage you to widen your scope of historically significant films) but this isn't that poll.

Old movies with very stealth trans or gay coding with its side characters and unintentional lgbt+ coding is allowed, but you know these things can be hit or miss. Besides, I put Heathers on here even though it's homophobic. Fun but homophobic. You can submit movies with homophobia or conformist themes to a degree.

You can submit propaganda videos, text, and images! If you know any drag parodies of the movies, send them my way!

If you don't want to submit directly, you can @ me

Posts with polls will be tagged as #mlcm poll. Movies posts with #user submitted or #user submission means it was submitted through the google forms and will enter the tournament

Given that not a lot of people watch older movies, the battling polls will be paired by decade until it gets whittled down to the finals where old and young will both compete.

Competition will start May 1 in honor of The Wicker Man 1973, which i wish counted as a poll entry, but I limited myself to one movie I'd slip into the tournament despite the fact that there's not a lot of lgbt fans of the movie. And this was my runner up because I really liked The Exorcist's Regan and Karras. Unless someone else submits him, Wicker Man's not gonna be there. Rest in Peace Christopher Lee and his ugly blonde wig.

#mlcm tournament #xanadu #the wicker man 1973 #horror #lsoh #dolly parton #lgbt #movies #polls #tournament poll #all about eve #whatever happened to baby jane?#q slur

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ariundercovers · 2 months

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It's Not You (Frankie "Catfish" Morales x Reader)

Pairing: Frankie Morales x afab!bi/pan!reader (No use of y/n!)

Length: ~1.5k words

Summary: You accidentally start imagining a woman while Frankie's going down on you. Panic ensues.

Written a a first-go for the @triplefrontier-anniversary ! I hope this drabble doesn't totally suck, lol. I have another one in the works to keep the LGBT+ themes going!

As always, I'm super open to any and all (constructive) criticism. Let me know what you think, what you love, what you hate. I just like to hear from you!

“Oh fuck, fuuuuck-”

Your eyes are squeezed closed, Frankie’s head tucked tightly between your thighs. This was always one of his favorite ways to be - right in the middle of you, tongue working all over your folds and clit like he were the originator of the very action itself.

He’s an expert - absolutely brilliant at it, and he can always get you off in record time, faster than anyone ever could before him. So, this time, when your orgasm completely eludes you, feels entirely too far away for too long, you start to question yourself.

What is wrong with your body?

That’s when you squeeze your eyes shut and try your best to picture something that’ll help get you there.

The sloppy sounds coming from his mouth and between your legs fuel your visions as you’re picturing him on top of you, inside of you, between your legs, and then, suddenly… blonde. Blonde and curvy and boobs on top of you, smothering you. Your eyes jolt open, the image crashing over you like a bucket of ice water, and then you reach down, tugging at his oily curls and pulling him up toward you the best you can manage.

“Fuck, baby, baby, stop, please.” You hate to even ask him something like this. You hate to lose the feeling of it, because it’s still good, even if it’s not quite getting you there right now. He stops immediately - you know he always would - and you whine as you roll your head and look down at him. “It’s not gonna work this time, I don’t think.”

His brows raise at you, confused, and then his face shifts to one of concern as he gets to all fours and closes your legs, shifting them off to the side so he can climb back up the bed and envelop you in his arms.

“What’s wrong, amorcita?” You sigh, closing your eyes and tucking yourself tightly into his chest, trying to figure out how to explain.

“I, uh… shit. It’s… I don’t-” He cuts you off, then, your inability to tell him what’s going on makes him even more nervous.

“What did I do? Tell me, please, so I don’t do it again. I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to, whatever it is.” You pull back from him just enough to look up at his face, eyes widening as you realize that he thinks this is his fault.

“Oh, Frankie… No. No no no no. It wasn’t… it could never be you. Hell, you’re the fucking best I think in the whole damn world, honestly. It’s not you. I promise.” You can see the visible shift, the sigh of relief he offers you as he settles against the pillows, tension evaporating out of his chest and shoulders.

“Okay. Then what is it?” Your teeth worry at your lower lip, unsure how to broach it. You’ve never been forward with him about any of this - about your sexuality, about the things you’d probably, ideally, want to be able to explore with him. You’re pretty sure he won't react poorly, but the truth is that you just don’t know.

You’re terrified to lose him.

Taking a deep breath, you shift away from him further so you can get a proper look at him, meet him eye to eye, and get a sense of the expression on his face, you gulp down the worry that’s lodged in the back of your throat.

“I, um… It was taking a long time, so I thought maybe if I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling it would help move things along, you know? But then I couldn’t stop thinking, and it was all you at first, but then suddenly it wasn’t and I, uh… I panicked. It was like instantly I couldn’t handle it anymore.” His face is still concerned as he reaches out to brush his hand along your bare arm, bringing your knuckles up to his lips and pressing a kiss there.

“What do you mean by ‘it wasn’t’?” His voice is soft, gentle. Like a feather brushing across your cheek or… something like that, at least. You do your best to answer.

“I, um… started picturing a… girl?” His eyes widen at you slightly and he tilts his head in your direction.

“Okay?” He responds. You blink back at him for a long while, trying to read his expression the best you can. You’re not getting much out of it, though, and you scrunch your brows in confusion.

“Okay?” He stares at you for a moment before his lips turn up in a slight smirk, shaking his head incredulously when he realizes you’re shocked by his response.

“Are you expecting me to be upset that you were thinking about someone else, or were you expecting that I’d be upset that it was a girl?”

“I, well…” You cut yourself off before you can blabber yourself too deeply into a hole. It sounds much stupider when he says it out loud, as it happens. You mentally smack yourself for a moment before you let out a deep breath and an uncomfortable laugh. “That sounds really dumb when you say it out loud.”

He chuckles and brushes his fingers across your temple, then down to cup your cheek in his hand.

“Amor… You’re not going to scare me away just because you’re what… bi? Pan? Some other word that probably exists but I don’t totally understand? It doesn’t matter to me. I love you. As you are. Always.” You can feel yourself getting a little choked up at his admission, the honesty of it all really getting to you. You can feel the intensity of his love for you beaming from his face, right into your chest where your heart beats so fast and so loudly that you can practically hear it in your ears.

How in the world did you end up with the most perfect human on the planet? You can’t possibly even imagine another one better than this, more pure, more kind… it’s not possible. The very earth itself would shatter if such a person existed, you think.

Your own self-doubt creeps in and begs for validation once more, even though you know deep down that yes, of course he’s telling the truth. Of course.

“Really? You mean that?” He just smiles back at you and shifts closer so he can lean forward and press his lips ever so gently against your forehead, one hand cupping the back of your neck as he does.

“Of course I do, baby. Come on. And for what it's worth, I’m not upset that you started thinking about someone else, either. Maybe it’s something we should talk about. Bringing in a third? If that’s something you think you need, that is.”

“What? You’d just… be okay with something like that?” He only smiles back at you, genuine and earnest.

“For you? Anything.” You shake your head in disbelief, sighing out a massive breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“I don’t deserve you, Frankie.” He huffs and shifts forward, caging you in with his arms on either side of your body. He looks down at you, head cocked to the side, before he leans down, lips attaching gently to your collarbone. He presses little kisses all the way up it, across to your shoulder, along the upper ridge of your collar and to the base of your neck. Then, his kisses turn to little licks and nibbles as he works his way up your neck and to your jaw, biting lightly right at the tip of your chin.

“You’re right. You deserve more than I can give you. I suppose I’ll just have to spend my life making up for that, won’t I?” His teasing tone is apparent as his lips continue their trek, up your cheek, across your cheekbone, your nose, and finally to your own lips. Your arms wrap around his upper body and pull him down onto you with force, needing to feel him pressed along your body.

“It really doesn’t bother you? Not at all?” He shakes his head ‘no’ and then nuzzles his face into your chest, between your breasts, hands pushing them together toward his cheeks as he hums into your skin. He resurfaces just long enough to answer.

“Not even an ounce. I fucking love you, just like this.” You smile and close your eyes, reveling in his affections.

“Thank you, Frankie. I don’t even… I’m not sure what to say.” He keeps kissing you, all across your chest and breasts, hands massaging the tender flesh softly.

“Wanna let me try again?” You look down at him with a smile and a laugh, fingers reaching up to tug at his curls, pressing your fingertips into his scalp. You pull him up to you again, pressing your lips together for a long, hard moment.

“Absolutely, I do.”

#frankie morales x reader #writing #francisco morales #frankie catfish morales #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #no beta we die like men

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shipposttt · 6 months

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The ship of the day: Victuuri

Names: Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki

Ship Name(s): Victuuri

Original Content: Yuri!!! On Ice series (2016)

Ship info:

Yuri!!! On Ice is a series which follows pro figure skater Yuuri Katsuki, who is on the verge of retirement, on his route back to pro skating and recovering his competitive abilities.

Yuuri K returns to his hometown after a string of losses within competitions, going back to his family’s hot springs. World renowned skater Viktor Nikiforov, Yuuri’s long time motivation for skating and childhood obsession (?), crush (?), wins his fifth consecutive World Championship, inspiring Yuuri to practice the routine he used to win. Unbeknownst to him, his performance is recorded and uploaded to the internet, going viral, and causing Viktor to travel to Japan to request to be Yuuri’s coach for the next Grand Prix series- baring in mind said conversation takes place in the hot spring, with Viktor as naked as the day he was born and Yuuri as red as a lobster. Yuuri accepts and so starts the series of Viktor training Yuuri, growing closer as he realises its Yuuri’s emotions, not his physical abilities which make him struggle in competitions.

Between this, Yuuri and Viktor grow close and, within episode 5 (following his win at the Japan Figure Skating Championships) Yuri announces his Grand Prix programme theme to be ‘Love’, inspired by his feelings for Viktor. Despite feeling the pressure of expectations following his good performance in the first Grand Prix assignment, Viktor is able to help reinstall Yuuri’s confidence as he promises to have faith in him and to not worry about his own reputation. During his skate, Yuuri changes his final jump to Viktor’s signature move, a quadruple flip. This surprises Viktor, who runs to Yuuri as he leaves the rink, tackling him onto the ice and kissing him in front of everyone ‘because it’s the only way to surprise him back’. Later on, at another competition destination, Yuuri gifts Viktor a gold ring which matches his own- later on, Viktor refers to them as engagement rings, though its unclear whether this was in jest or meant seriously. He also states that he and Yuuri would get married when Yuuri won gold at the Grand Prix Final. After this, they invite the other skaters to a dinner, where it’s revealed that during the previous year’s GPF banquet Yuri got drunk and started a dance off, also begging Viktor to come to his family hot spring and be his coach- though Yuuri had no memory of this event.

In the end, Yuuri and Viktor agree that whilst Viktor would return to skating for the next season, he would remain as Yuuri’s coach. With hat, they perform a pair ice dance edition of Viktor’s routine in the GPF exhibition event. Following the event, Yuuri moves to Russia to train alongside Viktor, finishing off the series there.

Type of Ship: Queer

The fandom at large regards the kiss, rings, and marriage comments as confirming their relationship canonically and I am inclined to agree, kissing someone is a bit extreme as being purely for a surprise without any romantic involvement- especially considering Viktor is representing Russia, which is known for its anti-lgbt+ views. Hence, I believe this relation is canon queer due to the actions of the pair throughout the series, which could be argued to not be platonic from the get-go, as Yuuri ran to see Viktor in a hot bath, which are traditionally enjoyed naked.

Thanks for reading!

Admin🦇

#fandom #gay ships #lgbtq community #ships #shipping #yuri!!! on ice #yuuri katsuki #viktor nikiforov #victuuri

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obsolescent · 10 months

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Pride

Summary: A thunderstorm ruins your plans of attending Pride with your girlfriend, Jill. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t have your own Pride at home.

Author’s Note: Happy Pride month everyone. This is my first time writing smut, hope you enjoy it.

Content Warnings: Begging, gender neutral terms used for reader, nipple play, P in V sex, squirting, use of sex toys, unprotected sex.

Pairing: trans!Jill Valentine x agender!Reader

Tags: @emilzke, @xxacademy, thank y’all for your help navigating this place, I appreciate it.

Word Count: 2,314

“Oh, damn!” A clap of lightning followed by a rumble of thunder resonated throughout the house. “The forecast didn’t call for rain today, I guess it had other plans.” Jill said, walking up beside you to peer out of the window to the approaching thunderstorm. “Heavens to Betsy…There goes our plans for today.” You exclaim, causing Jill to let out a laugh. “You and your phrases,” Jill says, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “Sorry, just a bit disappointed, I really wanted to go to Pride with you,” You let out a frustrated sigh and Jill tightens her grip on you. Having her home was few and far between with her job always lurking around the corner, something new popping up that had her gone for sometimes weeks to months.

“Hey, it won’t be so bad, let’s throw our own pride festival here, at home!” Jill said, pecking you on the nose and grabbing your hand, pulling you towards the kitchen. “If it ain’t too much trouble, what do you have in mind?” You asked, intrigued. “Well, for starters, we can make some pride themed food, dress up in what we were going to wear to the festival, play some games, and watch some LGBT movies?” She proposed, glancing back at you. “That sounds like a lot of fun! Thank you, honey, you always know how to make a situation better.” you responded, smiling.

So you spent the day with Jill making the most of pride at home, baking cupcakes with sprinkles inside and out, some with different pride flags iced on top. You dressed in some comfortable clothing with your Agender pin attached to your top, with Jill sporting her transgender colored tie-dyed tank top and some high-waisted blue shorts. Pulling out some games, you sit and play rounds of Monopoly and 31 While snacking on the treats. “Ugh, how are you so good at these games,” You mutter, losing, once again, for the fourth time in a row. “It’s just luck!” Jill exclaims, taking the cards back from you and shuffling them once more. “How about we watch some of those movies now?” You asked, “Tired of getting your ass handed to you?” Jill replied. “Oh, hush your mouth!” You guffawed, standing up and putting the board game back into its box and proper place on the shelf, before making your way to the couch.

Jill stands up as well, walking towards the couch and plopping down beside you, putting an arm around your shoulder. She begins to scroll through the applications, navigating to the LGBT category. “Anything in particular catching your eye?” She asks, slowly flipping through the options. You ain’t paying much attention, too busy staring at her profile. Her short brown hair tucked behind her ear, beautiful blue eyes with a sparkle always in them, full lips formed into a slight smile. As the years progressed between you two, she began to become more comfortable with touch, from hardly holding hands, to now, always touching you in some way. Watching her become relaxed and feeling safe around you filled you with warmth. You knew it was hard to be open with what little details you had of her job, but being with Jill has truly been some of the best times you’ve had. Her cheerful demeanor, always willing to give a helping hand, a truly selfless person that you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your life with.

“You sure you want to watch some movies, or just me?” You’re snapped back to the present with Jill staring at you, grinning. “Oh, good Lord!” You exclaim, blushing and looking away. She laughs, kissing your head, “So cute, always so easy to fluster,” She chuckles. “What were you thinking about anyways?” She asks, causing your blush to deepen moreso. “Well, just about me and you, is all.” You respond, fiddling with the hem of your top. “Oh? Like what?” She presses, leaning closer to you. “Uh, well, just appreciatin’ you, thinking of how special you are to me...” You trail off. If your face could get redder, it would light on fire. “Huh, is that so?” She replies back, the arm around your shoulder slowly moving down your back, grasping your waist and pulling you closer to her. “Look at me, baby.” You lift your head up to look at her, unable to make eye contact, you pin your gaze to her exposed ear. “All the way now,” she says, cupping her hand around your jaw and directing your stare to her eyes. “So shy, love that about you. So easy to make you red in the face. You sure that’s all you were thinking about?” She asks, rubbing her thumb across your cheek. “Y-yeah it was,” You reply back, stuttering some.

“A shame, though, thought you may have been thinking about…Other activities we could participate in for our at-home Pride fest.” She muses, smirking. “I mean, w-we definitely could if you wanted to?” You squeak out, knowing what she was referring to. “I want to hear you say it.” She replies, “Come on, I know you can do it.” God. You take a deep breath and exhale, “Maybewecouldhavesex?” You say in one breath. She laughs, patting your cheek. “Alright, good enough.” She stands, picking you up with a squeal and wrapping your legs around her waist. “So easy to rile you up,” She snickers, burying her face into your neck and kissing there. “Ah, well, I ain’t like this to everyone, You know,” you reply back, tilting your head to the side for better access. “I know, just for me, baby.” She hums, beginning to walk towards your bedroom.

Entering and setting you down atop the bed, Jill bends down and captures your lips. Grabbing both sides of your face and titling your head back for better access, tugging on your hair, a sign she wants you to open your mouth. You comply, letting your tongues glide and twirl with each other. As you kiss, your hands explore each other’s bodies, light grazes across dips and curves. Pulling away, Jill removes her top and bra, revealing her breasts. You reach out to trace her chest, finger circling before flicking her nipples, hardening them. Moaning, Jill says, “Baby’s so shy but also such a tease, huh?” You giggle, responding, “Not teasing, just like hearing your noises, seeing your reactions.” Jill smirks at you, coming closer and beginning to disrobe you. “Well, I think it’s time I get to hear some of your sounds, baby.” Clothes now fully removed from your body, Jill lays you back against the bed, staring down at you. “You’re marvelous,” She whispers, trailing kisses down your face, neck, over the scars on your chest, before cupping and fondling the remaining tissue. Slipping a nipple into her mouth and sucking, you arch your back and whine. “Feel good? Know how sensitive your nipples are, bet I can get you to cum just from fondling them, Couldn’t I?” She teases, taking her finger to the other nipple and rubbing it back and forth. “God…Please, give me more.” You beg, running your fingers through her short hair.

“Beg some more for me, and I’ll let you know,” She laughs at your groaning, throwing your head back into the pillows. She continues her ministrations, switching her finger and mouth between each nipple, lighting tugging on each with her teeth. Your hole clenching around nothing, gushing. “Fuck, please please just, God, give me more, please, I’ll do whatever you want!” You wail, clenched hands gripping the sheets as frustrated tears escape your eyes. “What I want, baby, is for you to keep begging, just like that.” Jill mutters against your chest, never ceasing her attention from your sensitive buds. “Fuck!” you cry out, reaching down to palm her stiff cock straining against her shorts. “Please Jill, need you so bad, need your cock in me now,” rocking your hips up against her thigh. “Oh, Goddamn..” She moans, bucking her hips against your hand. “No, not yet. Hands off, back at your sides.” she says, grabbing your hip to still you. Keening, you grip the bed sheets again. “If you don’t behave, I can keep this up for hours,” Jill responds, gliding her hand from your hips and lightly brushing over your bottom growth. “GOD no please, I’ll behave, just need you so bad, baby…” You whimper, tears staining your cheeks. “I know, just be good for a bit longer, love playing with you,” Coming up to whisper against your lips before enveloping you in a passionate kiss.

Tongues clashing, rubbing against one another in a sloppy manner that has saliva running down your chins. Jill’s hand gliding down your body, squeezing and pinching along the way. She leans over, rummaging in the night stand’s drawer before retrieving a vibrator. Without turning it on, she runs it down your body slowly, following the path her hand had just taken. “My needy little thing, you want this so bad, huh?” Jill says mockingly, lightly shaking the vibrator side to side. “I can’t take anymore, Jill. Please, I’ve been so good!” You cry, nodding your head. Suddenly, Jill grabs your legs and lifts them to her shoulders while simultaneously turning the vibrator on and pressing it against you. Squealing at the sudden change of position and sensation. “Good baby, keep making those noises for me,” She says, kissing at your thighs as she moves the vibrator in slow circles, then up and down your cunt.

She inserts two fingers, already prepared by how wet you’ve become, your praises a chorus of endless “yes yes yes” “please don’t stop” and “fuck me please”. Jill takes her fingers and vibrator away and turns it off, leaving you wailing at the loss of sensation. “Don’t worry, It’ll all be back soon,” She says, quickly discarding her shorts and underwear. Picking your legs up and resuming the position they were at before, she taps her cock against your opening, chuckling, “Gotta knock before entering,” “Oh my LORD if you don’t fuck me right–” Your words are cut off by her sinking into you while reapplying the vibrator to your growth, turning it on to the highest setting. Shrieking, all you can do is hold onto her shoulders while she pumps into your heat.

“Oh FUCK baby, you feel amazing,” She groans, watching your fucked out expression on your face. “Must be feeling real good for you too, baby? Wanna hear you scream.” You obliged, no longer holding back any sounds that escape your mouth. “Don’t stop please Jill keep fucking me please, you feel so so good I need you so bad just keep giving me your cock!” You yell, the lightning and thunder outside doing little to drown out both of your noises. Jill’s thrusting matching to the way she’s rubbing the vibrator across your engorged bundle of nerves has you reeling, wishing to forever be in this moment with her. At one powerful thrust and jolt of the vibrations has you seeing Heaven, a spurt of liquid shooting out of your cunt onto Jill’s abdomen. “Fuck baby, keep squiritng for me. Right there, yeah?” Jill moans, picking up on the exact location. Tensing up, keening as spurt after spurt leaves you. “Oh, oh God I’m close, please can I cum?” You whimper, gripping Jill’s shoulders tighter. “Of course baby, cum all over my cock.” Jill says, bending down and ensnaring you into a kiss.

Your orgasm washes through your body like a coursing river, weeping and shouting Jill’s name over and over again. Your hole clenching so tightly around Jill as she continues to thrust, prolonging your finish. Groaning, Jill’s movements begin to falter. “Oh fuck I’m about to cum, gonna fill you up, huh?” She continues to keep the vibrator against you, quickly building to another release. “Please please cum in me, need you inside me so bad, give it all to me!” You yell, another orgasm leaving you limp against the bed. Jill lets out a long moan before slamming her hips flush against you, finishing deep in you. You both stay like that, panting, recovering from your earth shattering orgasms. Hovering over you, she brushes some of your hair out of your face. “God baby, you did so good. You okay? Hurting anywhere?” She asks, petting your face. “No, I’m okay. I feel amazing,” You reply hoarsley, having strained your voice from all the belting you were doing.

Laughing, Jill answers, “Good, that’s what I wanted to hear.” She pulls out of you, watching her cum spill out of you onto the sheets, admiring how fucked out of it you are. She gets up off the bed and retrieves a wet cloth, cleaning you up, leaving kisses wherever the rag touches. Finishing, she tosses the cloth into the clothes hamper, before settling down beside you. You roll over onto your side and throw your legs over hers, burying your face into her chest. Kissing the top of your head, she begins to snicker. “What’s so funny?” You ask, voice muffled from your position. “Glad we could go out with a bang this year for Pride.” She responds, laughing. “Oh my God.” You exclaim, raising your head to meet her gaze. “That’s…so corny.” You giggle, while she pulls you closer, still chuckling. You soon fall into a comfortable silence, laying in each other’s arms while the rain beats down upon the roof. “I love you, so much,” Jill suddenly whispers, kissing the top of your head. “I love you too, darlin’, so very much,” you reply back, reaching up to caress her face. You’re met with the brightest smile you’ve seen on someone before. You smile back, leaning up to capture her lips in another kiss, while the rain lulls you two into a peaceful sleep.

#why the FUCK did the tags not add #anyways #o fics #resident evil #jill valentine #x reader #jill valentine x reader #jill valentine smut #jill x reader smut #resident evil jill #jill x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #trans jill valentine #agender reader #gender neutral insert #gender neutral fanfic #resident evil fic #resident evil fanfiction

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almacambiondaughterofsaleos · 9 months

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Mindy Kaling And Vivziepop Share So Much In Common

Seriously, both of these women really are cut from the same rotten tree.

Both create series with characters we are supposed to sympathize with but ended up being unlikable pos who we wish we could throw into the garbage.

Despite treating themselves as the embodiment of progressiveness, they have really hypocritical stances and come off as being two faced.

They hide behind race or gender in order to avoid being called out for their decisions when it comes to their work.

Despite their work dunking on the rich, they themselves come from privileged backgrounds and it can be shown in their work with how they portray certain characters.

They have LGBT themes in their work, but one could say that the representation does more good than harm due to how toxic the main pair is.

The said main pair is treated as being legit even though anyone can see it can't work.

They both are oblivious to how horrible they are and continue to treat people like shit while never facing the consequences for it.

While Helluva Boss at first got praise, it slowly has shown itself to have rotted due to the poor story decisions made. I have this to say that by the end of it probably will be as bad as Velma where it becomes more and more insufferable till we wish it could be put out of it's misery.

#velma #mindy kaling #helluva boss #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #anti-helluva boss #anti vivziepop #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critical #anti-mindy kaling

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crimescrimson · 9 months

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Red's Pairing Polls 1st Place: SubScorp (Hanzo Hasashi & Kuai Liang)

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stupidsexpotflanders · 6 months

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Extremely Unpopular Opinion

I've never seen any romantic chemistry nor potential between Clarisse and Silena,even knowing it's based on Patroclus and Achilles. When I first read the books,I didn't know much about Greek Mythology nor about gayness.

In my rereads of the books throughout the years,when learning more about literature in general,LGBT themes in fiction and about the world,the relationship between Silena and Clarisse doesn't come across to me as any more romantic/sexual than it did before(at least in canon). Patroclus/Achilles parallels aren't enough for me to see them as sapphic,the romantic vibes have to appear on their own,and the elements Rick picked of from the original can also be applied on any strong/passionate relationships,not only romantic ones. Clarisse got romantic advice from Silena and latched onto her as a friend,it seems enough for the events to happen the way the did.

Clarisse refused to help the war efforts because of a magic charriot and her own wounded ego;

Silena disguised herself as Clarisse to get the Ares cabin to(at least) fight the drakon and ended up dead in said fight;

Clarisse goes on a rage due to Silena's death and kills said monster.

The loss of a friend,especially the one who helped in a moment of hardship(Clarisse surely sucked at relationships,and Chris was dealing with the aftermath of the Titan Army and the Labirinth) is a very harsh hit on it's own. Besides,tropes are tools,and some romantic tropes can be used in friendship/family relationships and vice versa. To top it all,I love canon when it comes to both girls.

Of course,those are my 2¢. Each to their own,but I kinda feel lonely for not liking this romantic pairing. If I was going to ship Clarisse with a girl,it would be Annabeth - blame it on a fic,lol.

#pjo #clarisse la rue #silena beauregard #unpopular opinion #charlena #beckengard #chrisse

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mono-blogs-art · 5 months

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Tsukutabe Vol 3 English Release, A Review!

A few days ago I was finally able to get my hands on the long awaited third volume of the Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna (She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat) manga! Here are some of my thoughts - first, no spoilers, and then under a readmore I'll discuss some specific scenes I really liked.

I was very excited to finally read ahead - since the TV live action adaptation covers the same plot points as the first two volumes of the manga, and since there are basically 0 spoilers floating over from the jp fandom into my periphery, I truly had no idea where it was going. And what can I say but it was an absolute delight.

Like in volume 2, we are keeping a balance of the silly, everyday life of Nomoto & Kasuga and their cooking adventures, interspersed with quite serious, even dark moments in their personal lives. In fact, this volume features probably the darkest scenes in the series yet, more on that in the spoiler section later, but I truly had tears in my eyes for a bit. However I love how the focus when discussing these serious topics is always on the character and their feelings in the moment - how they can recognize what's been in their past, and how they've been able to move on and find happiness again, expressing a desire to do so. They've been hurt in their lives - mostly by their families that they've left behind, or by coworkers and strangers - but they are allowed to work through those feelings, take no shit, and say "No, I deserve better than this." There's also more focus again on LGBT advocacy now, with Nomoto coming out (to herself) at the end of volume 2, we now see her try to get comfortable with the lesbian label and how it affects her. There's also discussion on asexuality and its many shades, which I really appreciated!

The biggest change in volume 3 is the addition of two new characters - Yako-san, one of Nomoto's online friends who starts to become a bigger part of her life when Nomoto starts opening up about her sexuality; and Nagumo Sena, who is their "middle neighbor", the person who moved into the apartment between Nomoto & Kasuga that's been empty for the previous two volumes. Nagumo starts to befriend Kasuga when the two have a run-in. So a lot of the volume we actually see the two new pairs interact, and the focus is away from our main couple for a bit (but not really). Rather than new side characters, Yako and Sena feel more like an extension of the main cast, an extension of their little family, and they are immediately likeable and mash well with the rest. Speaking of family, although it's been a theme before, volume 3 really makes the central theme of "found family" very explicit. And it really warms the heart.

And my favourite part, without giving too much away, Kasuga also again receives chapters with her as the protagonist, rather than having Nomoto be the narrator all the time. This is actually the only thing I really miss in the TV live action, there are only a couple of scenes in there where you can see Kasuga's train of thoughts. The manga gives you much more insight into her inner workings. I'm hoping this will change for season 2 of the show, especially knowing what's in store.

Overall, the third volume brings a lot of fresh turns but stays true to its vibe and feel at heart. And of course it doesn't forget that there's also a love story, with Nomoto & Kasuga inching ever closer to each other. But I think this volume is where the story makes a point to say, Hey, This Isn't A Romance Series - it's a series about healing from past trauma, family, and especially found family, tackling everyday misogyny and homophobia, and all that through the very mundane task of cooking. I can't wait for volume 4 to come out, and season 2 of the live action series of course!!

The biggest thing I wanted to talk about was the conversation Kasuga has with her father on the phone. It's just so fucked up. We've only seen her family in flashbacks up until now, and reading the conversation between the two of them shows how far Kasuga has come in the 10 years since she's left home. Unlike Nomoto, who has a rocky relationship with her family but still keeps in contact, Kasuga has cut herself completely off since she left, and her views on family are central to her storyline. She wants to eat whatever she likes and not be shamed for it, own the things she wants, live in her own space, work a job that she choses. She wants to be herself.

At the same time, Kasuga is also the most family-oriented character. She loves to take care of others, make them feel at home and feel included, and she wants others to care for her too, unconditionally. When she thinks about what she values about "family", and the things she desires, there's only one logical conclusion to come to.

Kasuga's ties to her family also make her the perfect person to bring in Sena to the group. Sena is the total opposite of Kasuga, yet they're able to connect because of their shared traumas connected to food and family. When Kasuga bluntly accepts Sena without a second thought, the two really start to connect and it was just so sweet. Sena's whole backstory really touched me a lot and I definitely cried xD

These are the main two things I really couldn't wait to talk about!!! I really love Sena a lot and I'm excited to see more of her in the next volume. It's also very funny that it takes her, what, a single evening to immediately get that Nomoto and Kasuga have mutual crushes on each other, lmao.

The other new character, Yako-san, is also really fun. She's the confident, take-no-bullshit counterpart to Nomoto, and she proudly identifies as both a lesbian and asexual. Apart from that, we haven't seen much of her and her backstory yet - I'm hoping there'll be more in the future, especially with her in parallel to the main romance (idk if she's also aromantic, but it might be hinted at already?). I can't wait to see!

Those are some assorted thoughts... I really love this series and I appreciate it for the simple yet concise storytelling, and the love Yuzaki-san puts into her characters. They feel like real people, reflecting real insecurities and problems you'd run into in real life, even when it's exaggerated in a comedic manner. Can't wait to see where it goes next!!

#tsukutabe #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #sorry for rambling... this got longer than i expected...#mono-loguing

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romanarose · 3 months

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If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 6

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Santi takes Candy out, and Javier gets jealous, but still he defends them both. Drama erupts, and Santi finds something out about himself.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!: Santi's panicy trauma response. Santi's mommy issues in full swing. Javier is jealous, lots of arguments. Cumming untouched, titty sucking. We're in for it boys!

THE SMUT WAS 100% WRITTEN BY THE AMAZING @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction i knew i needed mommy kink and he was the one to go to. If you like subby men, Fen, my dearest cowritter, writes great fics esp with Steven Grant <3 What Fen said when they wrote it "Yoooooo, what am I writing Romana? Madness? I think so."

6.7 words (I'm so fucking sorry okay A LOT WAS HAPPENING)

A/N Since I am apparently an incomprehensible writer, please know that the smut scene in the last chapter was not a threesome, it's Javi fingering Candy and Candy flashing back to her giving Santi a reach around handjob. I wanted to compare and contrast the way the two pairs care for and pleasure each other. but it came across as a threesome :(

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

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Santiago didn’t know why he was so nervous.

“What we need is to get out into the actual field!” Javier exclaimed, setting his mug down loud enough to make Santi jump. “Sorry, Garcia.” He muttered, wiping a bit of spilled coffee with his sleeve.

Santiago rolled his shoulders, reaching back to rub his spine over the scar. The surgery saved his life, but damn did it hurt. “S’alright. Listen, I had an idea, but I don’t know if it’s going to be anything. It does get us out of the office next week.”

“I’ll take it, what do you have, Pope.”

Santi smiled. “Well, the nickname is fitting. It’s a rally for the beatification of Laura Montoya.”

A smile quirked up on Javier’s grumpy face. Unbuckling his belt after a second round of stress donuts, Javi kicked his legs up on his desk. “Of course you would know that.”

“My tia invited me.” He shoved Javi’s boots off, then wiped his hands on his pants. “We know what his family looks like now, maybe they will be there? It’s something.”

Javier agreed, it was something. Tracking Lorea had not gone as well as Escabar had. Not that that was a flawless mission itself, but at least it had traction. Martin Lorea was far less public.

The pair settled into an easy rhythm of planning the event. Santiago would have to avoid his tia’s, he thought. That may be hard, considering he had 4 and several cousins who will likely be attending the event. Colombia doesn’t have a canonized saint yet, and she was recognized as venerable so her potential beautification was a big deal for Colombia. Still, he couldn’t be recognized at the rally, his family would want to talk and talk and talk and ask why he didn’t have girlfriend and talk and ask who Javier was, and Tia Lupe would ask him if he had a ‘modern arrangement’ with Javier which would make Santi sick to his stomach with anxiety and- fuck he felt like the donut he stole from Javi was coming back up.

“Gotta go, be right back.”

“I’ll be timing you.” Javier kicked his legs back up on his desk and closed his eyes.

Over the toilet, Santi dry heaved, unsure if he was really going to puke or just felt like it. What the hell was it with Javier these days that made him so anxious? Things had been going well, their friendship repaired in the months since Javier caught him and Candy together. Other than Frankie, who would always be his number one, Javi was his best friend. He’d die for him the way he’d have died for Will, Frank or Ben… but there was something more. Since the day they met, Santiago wanted nothing more than Javier’s approval, he strived for it… maybe it was that he saw Javi as a father figure, almost 15 years older than him… that wasn’t right either. He couldn’t place it until earlier this week.

The DEA ball was coming up, Javier had asked Santi if he wanted to carpool since they both didn’t have dates and lived near-by… to which Santi said he actually had a date. She was a surprise. So was the fact Javier wanted to go.

The “Oh” that had fallen out of his mouth though Santiago off. It sounded disappointed. Santi couldn’t stand Javier disappointed in him. That’s when the thought happened. ‘I wish we could just go together’ Not arrive together. Go together. As a couple. His first thought was no, that’s illegal. His second thought was no, he’d go to hell. His third was him mami, god rest her soul, would roll over in her grave.

He shook the thoughts away, but ever since then he began noticing the way he stared at Javi, the way his body buzzed with any incidental touch… He had to shove it down.

Certainly, Javier was open-minded, but he would to spend as much time as he did with him if he was gay, right? He wouldn’t incite Santi over for futball games on the tv, he wouldn’t take him with him to get lunch… he wouldn’t even want to work with him. It would all be over.

That’s what made Santi sick.

That, and the anxiety over who his secret date was.

You didn’t know why you were so goddamn nervous.

You had to admit, you were very surprised when Santiago showed up for his regularly scheduled appointment, flowers in hand, asking you to join him at the ball.

“Santi… sweetie… I don’t know…”

His large eyes looked nervous. “It’s a job! I’ll pay you, I’m not expecting anything free! And I I know what you’re gonna say, I don’t care about Javi freaking out. Imean, if you care I don’t wanna pressure you of course! I’m not trying to come between you guys, but I doubt he’ll even show. He hates these things.”

“It’s not that I’m worried about…” You take the flowers, thanking him genuinely, and walking to your kitchen. Santiago anxiously paced your walls, trailing his hands over your posters. “Sweetheart, I know we have a good time, but I am a prostitute, you know this.”

“I swear, I don’t have any notions about us being in love… I just want you there.”

Placing the flowers in the vase, you turn to look at him. “I just… well…” You hesitate, unsure how to not freak the poor kid out. “oh my god, there's no polite way to say this, but, Javier is far from the only DEA agent I’ve slept with. Hell, I slept with the janitor once.”

“Mario’s a cool guy, I don’t blame you.”

“What I’m saying is,” She sighed out her words. “You’re a sweet young man, and I know you’re a lot younger than most of the guys there. I don’t want to cause you any trouble-”

“Candy-”

“And I know I’ll cause you trouble if I’m there. They are going to make fun of you for bringing a hooker to a ball.”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. There’s no one else I want there with me but you, and I don’t care what Javier says, or any of them for that matter.”

You smile softly at the young man. He was earnest, but although you believed he didn’t care about the other guys at the precinct, you didn’t believe him for one second about Javi. Santiago worshiped the ground Javier walked on, it was clear by the way he talked about his partner.

“If you really don’t care, then yes, I’d love to go.”

His youthful face lit up. “Really?!”

“Yes” You giggle. “It sounds like a great night.”

Santiago ran to you, making you squeal as he threw you over his shoulder. “I’m gonna make you cum so many fucking times on my face, Candy, you don’t even know.”

You had to admit you were a little nervous. A lot nervous. He said he didn't think Javier would be there, but you weren’t sure, and hadn’t had a chance to try and prod him for information. You’d asked around, and Javi had been spending several nights with Gabby. This was not unusual, he was known to bounce around women, but he always came back to you. Today, though, it made you jealous as all hell. Santiago made you nervous too.

You wanted to at least make a good impression for him, so you went out and bought a brand new evening gown for the occasion, something classy, showing the curves but not your tits. Your big Farrah Faucet curls that usually accompanied a night with Lorea and his men were dialed down more to a simple look, your make-up more natural that a night on the town with high rollers would see. Still you were beautiful and you knew it. Just less like a hooker.

Javier didn’t know why he was so fucking nervous. He never went to these stupid things, much preferring to spend a night undressed with his cock buried between a pretty woman’s legs than stuff himself into a suit that had only gotten tighter in recent years. But, Pope was gonna be there, he was gonna be dressed up in some overdone suite, Javi just knew it. And his stupid curls would be slicked back and inevitably a few would pop out and he’d spend the night trying to keep them back but they would want to be wild and he’d eventually mess with his hair too much and it’d be all every-which-way and, and, and…

So maybe he was late. So maybe he was a little tipsy. Maybe he had been taking pulls of a flask in the back of a taxi but there was coke baggie and a cum stain on the seat so was it really the worst the car had seen? He pulled up to the dance in his too-tight suit, stumbling out a bit, and attempted to find his way inside. He didn’t really want to see Santi dancing with a girl, but if he didn’t show, Santi would worry, and Javi didn’t like Santi worrying.

Javier hoped she was nice. A nice girl because he was a nice young man. Someone to take care of him in some ways, to let him care for her in others… Javi knew he could take care of Sant. He had when he was sick, hadn’t he? Therein lied the reason Javi was drunk. The burn of the liquor was to press down the feeling he couldn’t ignore sober. He wanted Santiago.

“Buenas noche, amigos. ¿Has visto Santiago?”

Javi asked as he stumbled on a few men from the DEA chattering in a corner

One of the men, Freddy, chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “Oh, you haven't seen him yet?”

This caused all the men to laugh, but Javier didn’t get the joke. He got the feeling whatever it was, they were laughing at Santi. Javier knew Santi hadn’t really clicked with the men. He was too straight laced, too honest… too good.

“The fuck does that mean?” Javier asked with an obvious bit of bite. Santiago was his to protect.

“Young Garcia came here with a whore on his arm.” Another man, Josue, with a patchy mustache he should just call it quits on attempting to grow replies. “Wonder if he knows what she is, or if he’s going to wake up to a nasty bill in the morning.”

The group laughs, and Javier feels panic rising inside him. No. No way. Santiago couldn’t possibly be that stupid, could he? He was the smartest man Javier knew. He’d never risk her like this…

Freddy continued when he saw Javi’s confused look. “Yeah, Pena, thats what I thought too!” He said with a laugh that Javier knew was not the good natured ribbing he gave Santi. “You know Candy?”

“Uh, yeah, sounds familiar.” The room was spinning, lights and smoke and colors starting to blur.

“The whore on 7th that lets you play rough? Yeah, her.”

Javier snapped to attention again. “What did you just say?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either!” He turns to another man Javier doesn’t have it in him to focus on. “I bet Virgin Maria thinks he’s in love.”

Grabbing him by the shoulder, Javier turned Freddy to him. “What the fuck did you say about Garcia?”

“Relaje, Pena. You call him Pope, different name, same meaning.”

But it wasn’t. Santi was Javi’s friend, Javier cared about him. Javier called him Pope to his face and if he thought it upset him, Javi wouldn’t do it. Freddy and the guys were calling him Virgin Maria behind his back, intending on being assholes. It was meant to hurt, it wasn’t true (Santi wasn’t a virgin even before Candy), it was meant to make a mockery of his good nature, his religion, and his morals. The effeminate name was meant to mock his slight build and stature as well as his passive nature. None of them knew the Santiago that Javier knew. They didn’t know the intelligent, compassionate, incredibly capable young former special opes agent who had saved his life multiple times and had given more break throughs on Lorea than he could could.

“Tell me again what you said about Candy.”

Despite the fact everyone was staring at them, you had never seen Santi so happy, so relaxed. He had a few drinks and for his small body it probably left him feeling warm and content. You had opted to stay mostly sober, only drinking one glass of white wine from the open bar; Santiago’s generous and soft smile to the bartender only endeared him to you more.

He was so much fun like this. You loved the time you spent with him in bed, that was fun too, but you’d also come to genuinely enjoy the moments where he wasn’t making you orgasm on his lips again and again. You genuinely cared when you asked him about his day, and had made a mental note of all the names he mentioned at the precinct that were causing him problems that you recognized. You weren’t sure how without outting him, but you’d figure out some way to fuck with them. One who was a massive dick to him, Freddy, was also a massive dick to you too.

Santi was indulging in a cupcake, telling a story of his friend Benny hitting on a woman only to realize her husband was standing next to her.

“It took me, his brother Will, Fish and Redfly to break the fight up. He still won’t go in that neighborhood anymore!” Santi giggles, taking a bite of the vanilla.

You laugh along; he’s an entertaining story teller. “Did he learn his lesson?”

“No! No! That’s the best part!” Santi said as he waved his hands excitedly. “He immediately, and I mean as soon as we cleaned the blood off his face, went and hit on another girl! And you wanna know the worst part?”

“It worked?”

“It work- how did you know that?”

“Women are easy, Santi.” Swaying to the music, you set his cupcake down. He has frosting on his upper lip, just under where his mustache sat.. “We love our men bloodied.” You pull him in close, eyeing his upper lip for the frosting, but he looks like he’s going for a kiss, and who are you to deny such a handsome man?

“Even when they lose?” He speaks, voice soft and sultry. Santi’s eye flick to your lips, his own push pillows parting to receive you.

“Especially when they lose.” You close the gap, taking his lips in yours and licking your tongue over his sugar-covered upper lip, brushing over his mustache. Sweet, just like him. Your sweet man.

For a moment, you are lost in him, the sounds of the Jim Croce floating in the air.

'Cause every time I tried to tell you

The words just came out wrong

So I'll have to say I love you in a song’

CRASH!

Immediately, at the sound of excitement, Santiago is in front of you, guarding your body with his. He doesn’t move, thinking clearly and assessing the situation; looking for where the danger is at and where the best exit points may be. Keep Candy safe. Keep Candy safe. His only goal was her, keep her away from any narcos, terrorists, freedom fighters or drunken men that might be causing a stir. When the center of the commotion was coming from the north, Santiago took Candy’s hand and began to take her to one of the south exits, a lesser used one with less potential for a second assailant, when he felt her tug away.

“JAVI!” She shouts, running towards the danger in high heels, rust colored skirt fluttering just as her flowy sleeves did.

“CANDY!” Running after her, he catches up with ease without the hindrance of heels. Santi tries to stop her, not wanting her near the drunken brawl, but she is on a single minded mission. Javier was under Freddy, who Santiago did not like, and getting the shit beat out of him. If he had a second more, if his focus wasn’t so on Candy, he would have beat her too it… but Candy was quicker

Santiago watches in surprise as she lifts her skirt, pulling a knife out of her garter, getting behind Freddy and gripping his hair hard, knife to his throat.

Everything was a deadly calm, everyone saying so, so still to not disturb the crazy woman with a knife. When Santi looked to Javier to check if he was okay, he saw Javi looking up at her with his big brown eyes, clearly fucking enamored.

“Freddy, get off of him before I tell everyone the weird shit you’re into.”

The next few minuets were a blur. As soon as Freddy was off Javier and Candy’s knife was off him, he was a big man again and the group began arguing. Santiago couldn’t quite pick up what it was about except “KEEP HIS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” From Javi.

They were all three escorted out by security; weapons weren’t allowed at the ball.

Outside the doors, a second argument erupted.

Candy tried to approach Javier. “Javi, baby, are you-” But as her hands reached for his swollen face, the older agent stepped back and turned his attention to his mentee. “Are you fucking stupid, Garcia?!”

Santi and Candy both are taken aback by this, but it’s Candy that speaks first. “Don’t talk to him like that!”

Javier’s anger is turned back to her. “And you! You should know better than this! Than coming here!”

She rolls her eyes. “Javi. It’s literally a part of my job, I’m an escort.”

“FOR DRUG DEALERS!” Javier shouts, throwing his hands in the air and stumbling back. “Not for YOU!”

“So what, he’s too good for me to take out? Dirty whore like me belongs in dirty nightclubs and dirty crackhouses?”

“Oh for fucks sake THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

Instinctively, Santi places himself slightly in front of Candy. “Tone it down, Pena.”

His icy glare turns condescending as a short, drunk, sardonic laugh escapes him. “HA! Do you think you’re in love, Santiago? Do you think you’ll be the magical man that can ‘save her’? That’s not how this works! You aren’t supposed to be bringing prostitutes to government functions, you absolute IDIOT! And you’re especially not supposed to bring HER!”

“ENOUGH!” Candy shouts at him, eyes flashing in anger. “You don’t get to tell him what he can and can’t do, Javi! And you certainly do not have possession over me! I am not yours! Just because we fuck does not mean you own me, and you don’t get to decide who I sleep with. Like you said, I am a prostitute, one of SEVERAL you frequent, so I wouldn’t be getting too high and mighty about being careful when everyone knows Helena nearly died working for you! I am not yours!”

Javier scoffs. “Oh, and he is? You think he’s your little lover boy, someone to play pretend that you are having a normal relationship with? He’s a scared child, he’s terrified of intimacy and thinks a finger in the ass will send him to hell!”

“Javier, fucking stop it right now.”

“He can’t protect you! He can’t take care of you!”

“Oh, and you can?”

“YES!”

Javier’s shouted words hung in the air, dripping with anger and venom. Santi simply watches, watches them like a scared child watching his parents fight, wishing it would just fucking stop, but it won’t. Not between them. Javier doesn’t back down and Candy isn’t scared of him.

Then, Candy starts to laugh. It’s short little laughs at first but grows louder. “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME JAVI!” She laughs once more before shaking her head, tugging a bit at her hair as she walks a short circle. Candy shook her head, suddenly calm. “Thunder only happens when it’s raining, players only love you when they’re playing.”

Javi blinked, his voice now noticeably slurred. “What the actual fuck was that.”

Santi stepped up, sliding an arm around Candy’s waist. If she said what she wanted to say, he wanted to guide her away from Javier before he could be more hurtful to her. “It’s from Fleetwood Mac, Javi. You’d know that if you cared enough about her to look into her interests.”

Candy turned to him then, surprised, her soft eyes looking towards him; the hint of a smile on her face.

Javier, however, looked bewildered. “Her interests?You. Are not. DATING HER!”

“I still care about her!” Santiago defended himself. “Just because I’m not a sad slut who can’t emotionally attach to anyone anymore doesn’t mean I treat her like she’s not a person!”

Javier looked like he was about to speak, then shook his head. “This is fucking insane. This is not a Hollywood movie, there is no happy ending here, FUCK YOU GUYS and FUCK THE GODDAMN PRESINCT”

With that, Javier stormed off, angrily mumbling about one thing or another and his broad form shrunk down the street.

It was then Santi felt her begin to shake. Thinking quick, he took off his sports coat and wrapped it around her. “Hey, hey bebita,¿Estás bien?”

“Si” She shook her head a bit, then turned to him with an irritated look “He just really pisses me off sometimes, you know?”

Santi chuckled. “I know. He’s an asshole, let’s not worry about him, okay?” He wrapped his arms around her, and Candy allowed herself to sink into him. Santiago felt her relax, laying her head on him. He was angry, so fucking angry at Javier for the things he said to Candy, the way he spoke to her, it was hurting with jaw with how much he was clenching it… but it was clear Candy was upset too. His feelings didn’t matter, her’s did. He needed to be her man, be her strength, so he pushed his feelings aside.

Through the doors of the ballroom they could still here the live music playing, and he felt Candy gasp as The Eagle’s hit song, Peaceful Easy Feeling, began.

“I love this song…” She whispered, beginning to sway to the music. The stars were out, shining on her. It felt like they shined for her alone.

‘I like the way your sparkling earrings lay

Against your skin, it's so brown’

“I know.” Santi whispered against her skin. “I asked them to play it.” He sang the next line into her skin.

‘Y quiero dormir contigo en el desierto esta noche

Con mil millones de estrellas alrededor’

Candy took her head off him to look into his eyes. Fuck, she was pretty. So so pretty. He wanted her with him all the time, even though he knew it wasn’t possible. He wasn’t in love. Santi wasn’t sure he was capable of romantic love, honestly. He wasn’t sure he was capable of a love that was safe. But whatever he had with Candy right now it was good.

“You requested this song for me?”

‘'Cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

“Of course I did… wanted to make sure there was music you liked.” Santiago stroked her hair, careful to not mess it up, just enough to feel her. He began to dance with her in earnest.

“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“And I found out a long time ago

What a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go”

Santiago twirled her, making Candy giggle.

“You listen to Fleetwood Mac?” She asked him through her laughs.

‘And I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

He shrugged. “I didn’t until I saw you had three albums, a Fleetwood Mac poster AND a Stevie Nicks poster.”

“So you… just decided to listen?”

“They're clearly important to you.”

He sings to her once again in Spanish

‘Tengo este presentimiento de que te conozco

Como amante y como amiga’

Candy whispers in his ear. “I enjoy our time together. I hope you know that. I do consider you a lover and a friend, Santiago.”

‘But this voice keeps whispering

In my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again’

Santiago believed her, but the ever-presant anxiety inside him told him this was temperary. Don’t feel safe, don’t feel comfortable. You are expendable. You are only loved as long as you are useful. You are only loved as long as you are perfect and good and right all the time. You can never mess up. If you do, WHEN you do, she’ll walk away just like Javi did. Still, he shakes these thoughts off and tries to focus on her. Focus on Candy.

‘Porque tengo un sentimiento tranquilo y pacifico

Y se que decepcionarás

Porque ya estoy parado

En el suelo’

As the song ended, Santi dipped a giggling Candy down low, admiring the way the dress flowed over her beautiful body.

“Hey Candy, they aren’t gonna let us back in there, wanna hop some shitty bars?”

“I’d like nothing more, Santiago.”

Back at his apartment, Candy and Santi giggled their way into his bedroom. A slightly tipsy Santi flopped down on his bed, sighing out a declaration that this was the best night of his life. When he opens his eyes again, he sees you smiling at him. He thinks that he wants to see you in his home more often.

“You look really pretty in that dress, you know that?” Santi says with a love-sick smile plastered all over his face.

You can’t help but smile back, unable to hamper the little laugh that lightens your chest. He was a bit more tipsy than you’d thought.

He pouts a little, being overly dramatic on purpose as he leans up on his elbows, his left leg half hanging off the bed as you stand watching him.

“Don’t laugh.” He pulls a face that has the opposite effect.

You don’t give him the chance to retort again and poke his foot with your index finger, while you school your face into a mock disapproving scowl. “Shoes on in bed?” You tut, expecting another pout and tease back from him, a shrug and a chorus of ‘Well it’s my bed, I can do whatever I want.’

But instead, his eyes widened a little, a small dusting of light pink blossoming over his brown cheeks and nose and highlighting his faint freckles. “S-sorry.” He mumbles quickly, scrabbling up into a sitting position to undo his laces. He’s pulled off one shoe and dropped it carefully to the floor before you even have a chance to register what he’s doing.

“Hey, hey,” you sit down next to him, your thigh touching his, and stroke your left hand through his curls. They’re a little stiffer than usual from the product he used for the occasion; it hasn’t stopped more than a few rough strands from breaking free though.

Santi leans into your touch instantly, instinctively closing his eyes and sighing, a weight lifting from his ribs. You wouldn’t be surprised if he started purring.

“You okay?” You whisper, continuing to run your fingers softly through his hair.

He nods and hums an affirmative.

You’re about to ask again, unable to stop yourself from double-checking his well-being. That seed of affection for Santi that first settled in your heart weeks ago has now grown and rooted into your chest, its vines and leaves twisted around your rib cage, seeking out your love like sunlight.

Just as the words form on your tongue you notice the not-so-subtle bulge in his trousers and bite back a smile.

Ah.

Not distress. Not panic. Nothing like that at all. Not right now, anyway.

Santi can’t see your expression with his eyes closed. He’s shifted closer, his temple gently against your shoulder as you stroke his hair. He sighs happily, almost dreamily.

It’s nice to see him like this, relaxed into your touch. He too often seems anxious, worried, worrying about his military friends, worried about Javi, worried about his family although those details remain vague. He’s mentioned his sisters lives in the US, Atlanta she thought, his tia’s he saw so often here, and every now and then a brief mention of his mom but only in passing. You place a soft kiss on his forehead, leaving a faint lipstick stain on his skin and he presses closer to you, nuzzling into the nape of your neck.

Languidly you run your free hand up his thigh, just tracing your fingers over his crotch before you squeeze.

The sharp, low moan that escapes his lips is more than worth it, though the gasped word that tumbles out is a bit of a surprise.

“Mommy,”

He freezes instantly, his eyes going wide and teeth audibly snapping shut. In less than a second he’s racking his brain, trying to work out how, why, where did that word come from? What deep, dark recess of his mind forced that word to the surface? Something was wrong with him. Something fundamentally wrong with him, deep down in the recesses of his brain. He was fucked up. He was going to hell.

Maybe you hadn’t heard it. Maybe you wouldn’t notice it. But already Santi knew those hopes were a lost cause. The way your hand had tightened momentarily in his hair the second it slipped past his tongue. He’d had a drink, a few drinks- although they’d mostly worn off throughout the night- that was a good enough excuse right? Oh god. What must you think? What would you-

“You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” Your voice was low and sweet, a caress to his very soul and he shivered in spite of himself, moaning again and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroked his painfully hard cock.

He nodded his head rapidly, not wanting to disappoint you. He’d be good, he’d be so fucking good for you. His breath hot on your neck as he pressed closer, angling his body completely towards you with a soft whimper.

You continued stroking him for a moment longer, pressing the heel of your palm firmly against his thick base before you unzipped his fly and flicked open his trouser buttons. You always loved this, loved how needy he got, how desperate for you.

Santi groaned loudly, his lips against your neck, half muffling his words against your skin as he squirmed into your touch.

“Hmm?” You halted your actions teasingly, waiting for him to repeat himself.

The small sob and bob of his throat nearly broke your resolve, but he pulled his face away from you a fraction to speak.

“Mommy, please,” he whispered.

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like it was the first man to call you ‘mommy’ in bed, but there was something about sweet, innocent Santi who had blushed his way through your first encounter not that long ago speaking that world that set your blood ablaze.

“Please what?” You teased.

He squirmed again, bucking helplessly against your hand. “Please?”

“You’re gonna have to use a few more words than that pretty boy, or I won’t be able to help you.”

Santi let out an anguished sigh, pressing his face into your neck once more.

Quickly, you moved your hand away from his weeping cock and firmly pinched his chin between your fingers, pulling him back ever so slightly so that you could look into his dark brown eyes as you title his face up.

“If you don’t speak, Mommy won’t be able to help you.”

Santi audibly moaned, his eyes rolling back for a split second before he shut them tight. His dick twitched uncontrollably.

“Yes, please, sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll be a good boy.” His words were all rushed together and there was a hazy look to his gaze when he opened his eyes again, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

You petted his hair gently. “I know you will be, Mommy’s got you, sweetheart.”

He whimpered, rubbing his thighs together with every word.

“Now, tell me what you want.”

“Can I,” he swallowed again, placing his hand on the zip of your dress, “can I undo this?”

That wasn’t what you expected him to say, and you raised an eyebrow at him lazily as you smiled and nodded.

Santi let out a little nervous breath before hastily undoing the dress and carefully slipping it off your shoulders and down to your waist. You weren’t wearing a bra.

He held his breath as he gazed at your chest, his left hand hovering just above your skin as he stared with reverence. As if he hadn’t seen you semi-naked many, many times before.

You stroked his hair again. “You’re such a good buy, aren’t you? Asking for what you need?” You say softly, just to gently break him out of his trance. You did enjoy teasing him, but never for very long. He always listened, always did as he was told, and you were happy to reward him

He nods quickly, never taking his eyes off your breasts. The tip of his tongue pokes out and wets his bottom lip.

Ever so slowly he leans forward, placing a light, sweet kiss to your lips, the corner of your mouth, your cheek, before trailing down to your neck and collarbone. His kisses get messier, wetter, more urgent the further down he goes and you don’t expect him to pause, panting against your skin.

He looks up at you with large eyes that send a shudder of heat through your core. “Can I kiss your breasts… mommy?” He adds the name shyly, looking down momentarily so that his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks.

You keep stroking his hair as you nod, hooking your fingers around the nape of his neck and guiding him towards your chest. He takes the small movement and runs with it instantly, surging forward and covering your breasts in desperate, wet kisses. Switching back and forth between them constantly as if he simply had to lavish each with the exact same amount of attention. He moans as he lightly bites and sucks, his hands digging into your skin as he holds onto you for dear life.

You press him closer, urging him on by digging your fingers into his curls and scratching your nails along his scalp. He rewards you with another muffled groan, the vibrations reverberating along your skin and sending a shiver of pleasure down your spine.

Santi pushes closer, the force nearly knocking you onto your back as he latches onto your left nipple. You brace your right hand on the bed behind you so that you can keep your balance.

“Such a good boy Santi.” You whisper and he whines, looking up at you once with lazy, lust-blown eyes as he keeps his mouth against you. He sucks demandingly, the sensation almost bordering on too much, but still somehow not enough, and swirls his tongue around your nipple before lapping at it and starting the process all over again. His hips are bucking desperately, but he doesn’t dare ask for attention. He knows you’ll take care of him. You always will.

He sighs, shifting, simultaneously trying to get something and not knowing what he wants at the same time.

You know what he needs though.

You coo at him, soothing and sweet as you pull in closer into your arms, cradling his head as you gently ease him into your lap. He moans so loudly, the sound quickly becoming a whine in his throat as you embrace him.

For a few seconds, he seems to relax into you, all the stress of the day and previous weeks and months draining from his soul and bones as he gently sucks. But then he starts to squirm, his thighs shaking and stomach muscles tensing. He pulls his mouth off of you with a pop and low, desperate groan. His eyes shut tight and eyebrows knitted together as he whines and presses his forehead against your skin.

“Gonna cum.” At the very back of his mind he has a sense that he should be embarrassed, embarrassed that he’s this far gone and going to cum practically untouched. But he can’t fight the pleasure as it bubbles up his spine, doesn’t want to.

“You can cum Santi,” you whisper in his ear. “You’re such a good boy, cum for Mommy.”

He shakes his head, unsure why, tears at the very corners of his eyes, “please.”

“It’s okay,” you soothe, holding him tight and kissing his temple. “I’m here.”

He moans loudly, latching back onto your breast and sucking for all he’s worth.

“Mommy’s here.”

He groans again, pulling away a fraction to get his words out. His voice is breath and high. “Want Mommy to cum.”

The pleading in his voice spikes at the throbbing arousal in your core. “Santi, it’s okay-”

His whine is muffled against your chest as he reaches down, sliding his hands between your legs to caress your body the way he knows you like. You’d taught him exactly how you want to be touched, exactly how you touch yourself. He was an eager learner.

“Santi,” you manage to breathe out through his messy desperate kisses.

“Mommy needs to cum now please,” he murmurs, his speech slurred against your tongue,

Your breath catches, thighs squirming as he strokes you, the movements soft but sure. It only takes an embarrassingly short time before you’re moaning into his mouth and tensing as your release overtakes you in a rush.

When it’s clear you’ve cum, he tenses, his orgasm following through him and bursting behind his eyes. His cock throbs as he empties himself into his pants. You smile softly at his face as his forehead pinches in bliss, your hand still stroking his hair.

There’s a pause, a small moment of quiet just before he sighs deeply, feeling weak and boneless. And then he looks up at you with his dark, dark eyes. The softness, the relief, the adoration… the sleepiness.

“So good, Santiago… you’re so good. My perfect boy…”

Santi sighs against your skin, relishing in the tender moment as you play with his hair. “Was that weird?” He mumbles into your skin.

“Noooo, no not at all. It’s very common, actually.”

He looks up at you through heavy lids and suspicious eyes. “Really?”

“Oooooh yeah.” You chuckle. “More often than you think. I’m not here to judge anyone.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, but he seems to relax. “Okay. Yeah. Okay.”

You opt to not talk about it anymore, at least for the time being. He’s so tired right now, coming hard and untouched, and you decide it’s time to put him to bed. By the time you lay him from your lap to his pillow, he’s half asleep, so you opt with minimal dress. Gentle, you unbutton his shirt and slowly, carefully slide his shirt off. When you take off his trousers and underwear fully, you replace them with sweats. You think he’s asleep, breathing slowly and eyes closed. He looks positively angelic. When your getting ready to zip up your dress again, and make your exit, you hear his voice once more.

“Stay the night?”

You sigh. “Santi, I dunno if that’s a good idea…”

His eyes open slightly, just enough so you can see him. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want, I just don’t want tonight to end…”

He looks so vulnerable in this moment… and you don’t want this night to end either. Rules be damned. Santi was different. Santi was better. Santi was good. And you? You deserved some damn good.

“Don’t pay me, I’ll stay.”

Santiago sits up ever so slightly. “No, no Candy this is your job. I don’t expect free-”

“It’s not free, honey.” You begin to strip down, Santi’s sleepy eyes drifting down your naked body, staring at the knife at your garter. “We’re going to sleep, just like I would at home. And tomorrow, you’ll make me breakfast. Sound like a fair trade?” The truth was, sleeping with Santi, actually sleeping with Santi, sounded wonderful. You didn’t want it to feel like a transaction.

So, you slip into his clothes. You wear a tee shirt and sweats and climb into his bed where you think he’s actually asleep this time. He snores lightly. He sleeps on his stomach, so you rub his back. He feels nice.

You want better for him. You want him to have a stable life, a loving wife who wasn’t a whore, kids if he wanted them, his family and friends surrounding him. He should have to live in danger, work a dangerous job. He should be allowed to be happy. It wasn’t a life you could give him, you knew… but you could imagine.

You kiss the scar on his spine.

******************

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading!!!!

If you're still hear, please drop a lil HI! It's 12 pm here, inching towards 1 but i promised to put this out so i will!!!

Everyone PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLOUSE FOR FEN FOR THE SMUT IN THE COMMENTS AND REBLOGS SO I CAN MAKE SURE THEY SEE ALL THE LOVE

I hope everyone is saying as safe as they can be in these temps, my heart goes out to all those struggling but especially those in war zones, poverty, homelessness, or in areas that were previously never this cold and thus unprepared for a harsh winter. I know us northerners joke about how cold we get, but I know its different when your infrastructure isnt equipped to take this on.

So tell me friends

Did Javier have a reason to be mad at Santi?

Or was he overreacting?

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE ARGUEMENT AND YOUR THOTS ON OUR DEAR SANTI

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolb @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleiite @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant @kirsteng42 @mrsjavierp @nanfafnan @lovable-liar @axshadows @cookielovesbook-akie @reallyrallyauthor @solar-fics @criticalarchitecture

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suffarustuffaru · 11 months

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so @alderamiin said subaru for the ask…. yes your ask was the one i deleted on accident whoops 😭😭 BUT HERE WE GO I MADE SURE TO REMEMBER TO DO YOURS WKDNDN (and i LOVE subaru fr i simply could not skip over him also) (pls expect my usual chaotic rambling im so sorry i really am overusing the caps button 😳😭😭)

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual 👍 subaru being somewhere on the ace spectrum isnt a super strong headcanon of mine compared to the bisexual hc but i am still fond of it <33 bc i do tend to just hc him as bisexual but i suppose i could kind of see it <33 :DD !!

Gender Headcanon: subaru is literally, as we’ve all discussed, like EVERY letter of lgbtq+ i swear. like natsumi EXPLICITLY being stated to be his ideal self….. what cisgender boy has his ideal version of himself be a woman…. come on….. and hes been like. dressing and trying to pass as a girl for his crossdressing pre-isekai too. like subarus Practiced A Lot at this. subaru clearly enjoys doing this and he was crushed when he couldnt pass bc of his voice pre-isekai :(( AND LIKE subaru and his complex relationship to masculinity and feeling insecure in his own skin like……………… and then natsumi being his ideal self…… natsumi being the Heroine……….. and its like. subaru clearly has a case of “do i want to be them or be With Them” when it comes to men hes attracted to (most notably julius.) so like. it could apply to women too. like. and then the way subaru reacts to felix’s presentation too………. i just think it says a lot. i dont care what tappei says but he wrote all this shit in the text fr!!! and also in general. natsuki subaru being a gender neutral name…. same with natsumi schwartz… so yes genderqueer subaru for the win. i personally hc subaru as genderfluid or bigender!! and also like. subaru being Very LGBTQ+ is so in line with rezero’s themes of self love and self improvement and self discovery and Identity. i think it hits so much harder if subaru Is lgbtq+ versus if he was just insecure straight cis man. like no wonder subaru was struggling Even More. hes so so far in the closet and struggling with like the internal homophobia and shit fr :(((

that and 1. subaru being lgbt is such a great subversion of what you would think when you first meet his character. and also a subversion of ur typical isekai protag which ADDS to rezeros subversion of isekai in general and 2. i love making Certain People mad with these hcs. like its so supported by the text the only thing missing is explicit confirmation. which. i have my doubts with tappei on that but iirc he DID say he nearly wrote a lust if with the guys…. tappei. come on. you already explicitly said that natsumi is subarus ideal self.

A ship I have with said character: im very open to most subaru ships!!! i just love a lot of them—reinsuba, ottosuba, emisuba, remsuba, julisuba… i just like how each kind of dynamic with subaru has so much range like even in just main route alone?? and then you factor in the ifs and it gets So Interesting. theres so much history with each pairing and so much to explore, whether its platonic or romantic. and subaru has a LOT of love in his heart.

i just like each pairing for different reasons hah—like ok ive talked a lot about reinsuba and emisuba already in other asks so. i DO like remsuba okay. not in the sense that i want it to be the endgame ship in main route bc thats very much not happening and i would prefer The Most Detailed emisuba development of all time. which would be more thematically relevant <3 but i DO ADORE remsubas relationship in general. like its so so complicated??? like. yeah theres the conflict in arc 2. theres the conflict in arc 7 with her waking up and being different and being so mean to him about natsumi :((( theres her “youre my hero” versus “youre not a hero” WHICH. URHGHF ITS SO GOOD….. and like yeah remsuba really do be. iffy. in terms of how healthy it is. but its so complicated bc you also have rem being like—she was like the first person, narratively, to be willing to DIE to save subaru the exact way he does for other people (including rem). and then the famous from zero scene in season one which is a MASTERPIECE but i hate how people fixate on “i love emilia” LIKE REM IS HAPPY FOR SUBARU. SHE IS HAPPY AS LONG AS HE IS. EVEN IF HE DOESNT LIKE HER BACK. but also he did like her back romantically for a time. and also of course rem had her fixation on subaru :(( subaru had his own obsession for emilia while rem had hers for subaru pre-being gluttonyed?? :(( yeah like. remsuba being so complicated is so interesting to me. like she and subaru are very passionate people yes. but also they do need to learn to tone it down sometimes you know? REM ESPECIALLY TOO BECAUSE EVEN AFTER SHE STOPS BEING MURDERY TOWARDS HIM… FOR EXAMPLE IN SEASON ONE SHE WOULD CANONICALLY GO TO HIS ROOM IN THE MORNING AND WAIT FOR HIM TO WAKE UP…. like she'd just sit there at his bedside and Stare at him... like girl chill a bit its okay T^T i havent read sloth if. but it seems like they learned to mellow out and have a happy life T^T apart from. a shit ton of people dying in the background and also subaru dying of old age and resetting back to arc 3. i am interested to see if we’ll get further remsuba closure in arc 8 yes. but also im bonking subaru on the head in arc 7 for saying even REM TORTURING HIM was a fond memory. pls let this be addressed again later i swear sodndn.

ok also julisuba and ottosuba. i am no expert on julisuba but on the other hand i have analyzed Too Much Ottosuba so perhaps i am an expert there wodndn. but YEAH i love those ships. they have so much history and moments between them and they are. definitely the more Explicit evidence of subaru being bi (between subarus Interest in julius and reid calling julisuba boyfriends and SUBARUS INTEREST IN JULIUS... vs ottosuba repeatedly being like “omg do you Like Like me?” “NO I DONT SHUT UP” and also their continued divorce arc dynamics yep). but also i will say i really like ottosuba because specifically they are the subaru pairing where theyre like. Very Much Closer To Being Equals. if theyre not already equals in something. like in terms of power levels and intellect and their very loving families and previous inability to fit in or be believed by people and also their status in the narrative as Being Just A Guy in comparison to everyone else. and yet ottosuba are the MOST important members to their camp for their jobs—subaru keeps everyone alive, and otto handles All the politics, which we see over and over again. they are literally THE power duo. otto is so so important too as the second person to die FOR subaru the same way subarus died for others. like the paralleling of otto pushing subaru out of the way when the white whale drove otto insane (and later otto tried to go back for subaru once he regained his senses ;-;;;) versus otto pushing subaru out of the way so he didnt get killed by garf ;-;;;;;. and otto being the second person after rem to also give subaru an EXTREMELY IMPORTANT speech to him (otto-rem parallels...???) <33 except ottosuba also foil a lot bc of their Different Morals. but theyre both stubborn as hell and have a tendency to go off and do shit they think is best without telling anyone bc theyre too deadset (hah) on what THEY think. (OTTO. SPENDING A WHOLE YEAR SECRETLY GETTING THE BOOK OF WISDOM AND HAVING IT RESTORED?? HELLO???) anyway yeah ill stop right here bc i have So Much ottosuba posts on this damn blog wkdndn but i really do think the appeal of ottosuba is that they Are on a more even playing ground. and their morality flipflops sometimes. ottos issues are just more lowkey than subarus widndnd. i am. however. nervous about all the ottosuba and vincent-chisha parallels in arc 8 bc………. possible otto perma death on the horizon??? 😭😭😭😭 itd CRUSH subaru.

also of course the similar flavors of julisuba and ottosuba….. u can have ur tsundere x tsundere ships in TWO DIFFERENT FONTS. anyway ill become a julius lore expert someday i promise.

A BROTP I have with said character: BROTP ottosuba and ramsuba are so so funny and great wofndn but special shoutout to garf and subaru in particular!!! i think its interesting how far their relationship has come bc they had a VERY rough start and its like. 1. im sure garf would immediately regret going into a rage and killing a shit ton of people in that One Failed Loop and 2. we learn garf is a traumatized fourteen year old whos been trying so hard to take care of the demihumans inside sanctuary while his sister and mom left him, one way or another, and hes very afraid of the outside world. and its like YEAH now your behavior makes sense. and its so good to see garfs growth and also his growth in his relationship with subaru (and otto) bc he looks up to subaru sm!!! subaru helped garf so much T^T theyre brothers guys 😭😭 i think its so adorable and so sweet. ill defend garf all day everyday. garf 🤝 subaru with their DAMN hero complexes while otto tries to keep them both on a leash so they dont do stupid shit. subaru IS a good role model for garf though ill say that. subaru tries so hard to be a good role model wkdndn. and yes i always laugh when garf teases subaru for drawing doodles and writing encouraging things for emilia in the temple.

A NOTP I have with said character: okay so. maybe i will spill some tea here. hah so i went over in ram’s ask how i think ramsuba in wrath if is actually super interesting widndns but otherwise ramsuba to me is bland. which. i also just feel like subaru/crusch and subaru/ana and subaru/priscilla are also bland. like. i dont think theyll ever feel interesting to me akdndn. like theres not. as much to work off of imo. like i just dont think theyre a good match romantically at all. like At All. priscilla especially LMAO…. and im tired of people reducing women in the story to just boobs and being fucked by subaru 😭😭😭 like i dont have anything against those subaru ships, my biggest notp is just seeing a bunch of characters be butchered just to have subaru have sex with various women. 😭😭 obviously not everyone in the fandom does that but i see this happens the most with priscilla fr. pls. shes more than just boobs :(((

anyway. my other notp is like. echidna/subaru but like. i feel similarly to ram/roswaal on this where its like. theres a potential there to show a nuanced complex toxic relationship bc THAT IS what echidna/subaru are. even more so in greed if. like theyve spent an UNGODLY amount of time together like their relationship is so fucked. like god the amount of details that were added to their dynamic in the greed if ln makes me go INSANE….. like you know how echidna said that subaru could use her body with this contract?? what she ALSO really meant was HEY SUBARU YOU CAN KILL ME IF YOU WANT. ILL JUST COME BACK BC WE ALWAYS MEET IN A DREAM WORLD AND THERES NO CONSEQUENCES BUT ITLL FEEL REAL TO YOU. LIKE HOLY FUCK FR 😭😭 and like in generally reading through greed if ln is a Trip alright. like “no yeah duh of course it is, suffaru, its GREED IF” but LISTEN……. echidna being subarus weird mother figure and then like. idk there are obvious implications i feel from like the body fluid tea and then echidna being like “you can use my body” and then theres a moment where she puts his hand on her chest and yeah its to feel her heart but LIKE…. SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SCENE FELT LIKE. SOMETHING. TO ME. AND THEN SHES SO OBSESSED WITH HIM AND HES DEPENDENT ON HER LIKE JESUS ITS A MESS. ITS LIKE HOW SHE WAS WITH OG ROSWAAL. GOD. *puts my head in my hands*

anyway my real notp is like. depicting echidna/subaru like it is a Healthy Thing like no it is not 😭😭😭😭 it never was healthy and it literally never will be unless ur changing echidnas character drastically. if ur gonna show off echidna/subaru then they are gonna be SO RANCID in like every way possible there is no other correct way to write them. she is terrible for him. she literally saw him and went “i can make him worse” and then it happened. bc greed if subaru is a Terrible Person. like. its not even a question. the biggest example i can think of rn other than obvious Rbd use is KEEPING MEILI. A CHILD. HOSTAGE AND LOCKED UP IN ORDER TO USE ELSA. HER OLDER SISTER FIGURE. JEEZ. my biggest notp of all time is treating unhealthy relationships as if they Arent unhealthy.

MY OTHER BIGGEST NOTP OF ALL TIME FOR ANYTHING IS SHIPPING A CHILD AND AN OLDER PERSON TOGETHER. subaru/petra SHOULD BE AN OBVIOUS NOTP BUT SURE DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT SOMETIMES….. guys she is a child. come on. hes seventeen and shes TWELVE. GUYS…. and then theres tappei making iirc an ACTUAL petra if????? and idk what the content in petra if is exactly but i worry given tappeis track record with the child characters sometimes 😭😭 AND THEN PETRA BEING IN LUST IF. TAPPEI…… N-NOTHING HAPPENS, RIGHT? *EXPLODES WITH RAGE*. even if petra and subaru get together later when theyre Older Adults in some AU or something its like. subaru knew her when she was a young child. and she had a crush on him then. um. personally idk if im fully comfortable with that hah T^T

A random headcanon: GONNA TALK ABOUT WRATH IF. anyway so the wrath if divergence point is that subaru gets beatrice to teleport him away and ram chases him down, ram tries to strangle him to death but fails, he smashes her head with a rock. yes. BUT OKAY when u watch the anime. beatrice comes for his aid AFTER subaru gets to the cliff and tries to psych himself up to like. jump off to save rem and stuff. THEREFORE wrath if subaru still considered trying to rbd via jumping off that cliff. he just decided not to and agreed to have beatrice teleport him away. this is something not many people seem to mention or maybe even notice (??) but I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT…. :((

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE SUBARU WITH MY WHOLE BEING. he is my absolute favorite anime character of all time. his character arc is so chaotic and complicated and i think the way he Does like still struggle with the same Inner Conflicts is so so much more realistic. recovery and self improvement are NOT linear and he shows that perfectly. and i hate how much people misread subaru T^T the whole chadbaru trend in fandom of how he should get harems or how he should leave everyone or be terrible to emilia for *insert a long list of Terrible reasons here* is so. like did we all read and watch the same damn story or what hah. the whole point of rezero is LOVE ITSELF….. and subaru ultimately has a lot of love for so many people around him. though of course i do worry for how rbd reveal is going to be handled, and im not entirely sure how to feel about subarus arc 7 development atm. rbd reveal is gonna have catastrophic consequences for Everyone. like everyone hes ever been close to finding out hes died a shit ton of times to save him?? that so many of them have like. maimed and killed him or at least Tried To Do That? like HOW are we gonna get a happy ending out of all of this—hows tappei gonna handle this?? 😭😭 i worry sometimes that when rbd reveal happens it wont be nuanced or itll gloss over certain things or it just. wont be so satisfying. bc u have arc 7 subaru out here with SUICIDE PILLS……. ARC 7 SUBARU IN REPEATED INSANE DEATH LOOPS AS A CHILD….. how are we gonna come back from this?? 😭😭 i have my doubts sometimes but tappei loves insane character development for subaru so i suppose i will hope. i just wish for all the trauma to be seen and addressed akdndn and the fact that rbd is so. complicated. it makes subaru and his relationships with everyone else so complicated. and rbd is inherently unfair in a lot of ways to both subaru and everyone hes close to. i cant wait for more subaru development but i also think after arc 8 he NEEDS a break or like otherwise, personally i think subarus gonna snap for good and not be able to return from it 😭😭 or ill just have to suspend my uhh disbelief. i suppose. but yes i do love subaru a lot!!! his hair is a Pain in the ass to draw but ill endure the pain just for him. <33

but regarding all of subarus loved ones maiming and killing him a lot—i think its fascinating how the if routes prove he is JUST as capable of ruining all their lives. like i feel like people forget that sometimes in favor of woaaah cool what if routes where subaru becomes “badass”…. but LIKE…. hes SO SO CAPABLE of so much destruction. he is choice itself. he is capable of changing the entire world and everyone around him. he is capable of causing the deaths and trauma for SO MANY PEOPLE… and like i think rezero itself and subarus relationships are like an extreme version of hedgehog’s dilemma, u know? like u get close to people to love and be loved, but ur also very vulnerable to getting hurt. and rezero is About love. and part of close relationships are that ur so close u Can be hurt. maybe you Will be hurt. but u will also Love….. unless ur one of the ifbarus then fuck u for making the wrong decisions ig wodndndn. im telling u guys that subaru is LITERALLY an eldritch being at this rate. todd is so right.

and. okay one last thing im gonna be real for a second. im a little eh on subaru being a child, honestly. like i DO like the trope of turning characters back into their child selves in order to explore their psychology that way!! but like. idk i feel like the childbaru arc is kinda too similar to the whole amnesiabaru arc in arc 6. it feels Extraneous. it doesnt feel different enough for me personally. (emphasis on personally. this is all my opinion hah.) and then he is STILL A CHILD IN ARC 8 EVEN THOUGH THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT GOT TURNED INTO KIDS ARE NOW BACK TO NORMAL…… LIKE…. im sorry but the childbaru has overstayed its welcome by the time we get to arc 8 imo 😭😭

#re:zero #natsuki subaru #ask #arcs 7-8 spoilers #i decided to do ur ask as soon as i could so i didnt forget bc i deleted ur ask oops HAH #i dont know if people like remsuba on here BUT I LIKE REMSUBA OKAY THEYRE COMPLICATED AND I LIKE IT.#and. yep there we go theres my usual ottosuba agenda 😭😭#if anyone asks me otto ill write even more essays ig 😭😭 HAH….#i just think. subaru ships have a lot of great flavors. but they also have some of the most rancid flavors in my opinion lmao 😭😭😭#rancid (affectionate or derogatory)#my reply to these asks keep getting longer and longer aalsdjdfls oh well

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