#The key is giving yourself compassion and especially giving compassion to the part that's been taught to feel that way

[nahoney22]

Need A Hand?*** (Part 2/2)

Echo X F!Reader

word count: 5.1k

*gif mine so credit if used please*

When an old friend contacts you about hidden treasure, you just had to get involved! You just didn’t expect to run into a certain Clone again.

Warnings: I’m going to class this as NSFW as implied sex is mentioned, nudity, grinding and kissing. mentions of a little bit of blood and injury to reader, slight bickering between you an echo, reconciliation, set around episode 5 Entombed.

Part One | Part Two

"When can we expect your friend to join us?" Hunter sat at the bar of Cid's parlor, looking glum as Phee's influence on Omega seemed to have taken a turn for the worse, especially when treasure was involved.

"She'll arrive when she arrives," Phee replied nonchalantly, admiring the compass that Omega and Wrecker had recovered from a scrapyard.

Hunter was less than pleased with her answer and longed for Echo's presence for backup. But, with the others on a mission, it was just Hunter, Phee and Omega occupying the establishment.

"Can you at least give us a name?" Hunter pressed, eager for more information. But that's when Phee's expression became uncertain.

"I, uh, don't actually know," she admitted, eliciting a shared look of disbelief from Hunter and Omega.

"You don't know?" Hunter asked, his voice strained with frustration as he bared his teeth.

"That's right, I don't know. Nobody does," Phee said, rolling her eyes. "But she's good at what she does."

"You got that right," a mysterious voice chimed in.

The trio turned swiftly to see a hooded figure with a masked face standing before them. Hunter felt on edge, not liking the idea of someone's face being concealed in such a way. The person's voice was also altered, making it impossible to determine their true tone.

"Hey...you!" Phee laughed, not knowing what to call the newcomer as you approached the group and scanned the bar.

"Phee, it's good to see you again," you speak up, nodding in her direction. Though it was difficult to tell if the sentiment was genuine.

Hunter stood, feeling a bit uneasy as you looked him up and down before turning your attention back to Phee. "I heard you found treasure?"

"A key to finding some treasure!" Omega chimed in, eagerly handing over the compass to you.

You smiled behind the mask, face still concealed as you took the golden disk and examined it. "Now this is interesting."

"Do you know it?" Hunter asked, trying to gauge the figure's knowledge.

"Perhaps," you replied, still remaining inconspicuous. Clearly you were not ready to share details with a stranger just yet. Though his voice sounded familiar, like...

You shook your head internally, banishing the thoughts of Echo, the clone who had been haunting your mind for some time ever since you left him.

Omega is scanning you, rather intrigued than nervous like Hunter was. To her, you looked just as badass as those action holomovies she watches with Wrecker from time to time.

“Well, what d’ya say? You in?”

Yourself and Omega look up at Phee as she speaks. “Of course. But for a price.”

“As always.” Phee smirks, causing you to chuckle just a tad. “Shall we discuss this after we have retrieved anything first?”

You nod, satisfied with that solution. After all, you had some research to do first.

“Great!” Phee clasps her hands together, swiping the disk from your grasp and jumps to sit on the table. “We will meet you there once you send the coordinates. I’ll inform the others too.”

You pause, how many people were on this journey? “Others?”

“My squad.” Hunter speaks up, walking over to you. “There will be, including you, seven of us on this hunt.”

"Seven?" You repeated, trying to mask the uneasiness in your voice. "Interesting number."

"Yes, it is," Hunter nodded, a hint of suspicion in his gaze. "So, what do you say? Are you ready to join us?"

You weighed your options, the thrill of the hunt and the possibility of a great reward at the end, against the potential danger that may arise with this unfamiliar group of people. Your thoughts then shifted to the memory of Echo, and the kiss shared between the two of you before you left. A shiver ran down your spine as you pushed those thoughts away.

"I'm in," you finally declared, a hint of resolve in your voice.

"Great," Phee nodded, a smirk playing on her lips.

You gave a curt nod, not entirely comfortable with the idea of relying on these people but understanding that in this line of work, it was better to have allies than enemies. But so often you worked alone. Supposedly, change can be good sometimes.

You then turned and left the bar and as you made your way to your ship, your thoughts once again strayed to Echo.

You couldn't shake the feeling that he was somehow connected to this mission, and that thought both excited and terrified you. You quickly boarded your ship and set off, eager to start your search and hopefully find what you all were looking for. The thrill of the hunt and the possibilities it held, made you forget the worries and uncertainties that lingered in the back of your mind. For now, you were focused on one thing and one thing only: the treasure.

———————————

"There’s a fresh coat of blood here on the ground," Echo says, crouching down and delicately swiping his gloved finger over the crimson liquid. His face contorts in a frown behind his helmet. "It's still wet."

Omega nervously bites her lip. "Could it be her blood?" She glances over at Phee, the worry evident in her eyes.

When they reached the Kaldar Trinary System, as per your instructions, you were nowhere to be found. Phee was putting up a brave front, but the subtle apprehension in her eyes was palpable. Phee knew you well, and even though you preferred to work alone, you were always reliable when it came to sharing the spoils. So with your sudden disappearance, coupled with the fresh blood on the ground, it was causing alarm.

Tech takes a step forward, scanning the area. "It's definitely human blood," he confirms.

"She must have been hurt badly," Omega says, her frown deepening. Hunter's hand rests comfortingly on her shoulder.

"We don't know that it's her," Hunter tries to reassure her, but his words fall flat. Phee had tried multiple times to reach you through your communication device, but to no avail.

Echo lets out a sigh, his arms folded across his chest. Something inside him is stirring, causing his body to react in a frenzy, and he's not sure what it is. When Omega told the crew about a woman dressed in black, who they couldn't identify, Echo's thoughts immediately went to you. You fit the description perfectly, and he couldn't imagine it being anyone else… could it?

"Phee, how do you know this person?" Echo asks.

Phee looks over at Echo, surprised by his inquiry. "She's a pirate, like me," she replies, walking beside him as they delve deeper into the mountain in search of the treasure. "Well, sort of."

"Sort of?" Echo prompts.

"She used to be a pirate, but then she left the life," Phee explains, shrugging her shoulders. "She didn't like working in groups. Or, at least, that's what she told me. I think she was just scared of losing people."

Echo nods, taking in her words. "Was she fearless? A bit cocky?" He reminisces his run in with you and although his mind was often riddled with the thoughts of you kissing him, he did remember your character too.

"Oh, yes," Phee says, laughing. "Very much so. But she was also kind. She wouldn't hurt anyone unless it was necessary. I haven't spoken to her in a long time until today.”

The search for you and the treasure continued, guessing as much that you would’ve gone further inside for shelter from whatever caused your injury.

Unfortunately, they were just about to meet the source.

As the group ventured deeper into the cave, a monstrous creature with razor-sharp fangs descended upon them, latching onto Wrecker and trying to drag him into the abyss. The team frantically fired their weapons, until Wrecker managed to sever one of the creature's horns, freeing himself from its grasp.

Wrecker thudded to the ground, breathing heavily and wiping the saliva from his armor. "What the hell was that?" he groaned, trying to regain his composure.

"Just your average cave monster," you replied coolly, emerging from the shadows and drawing the attention of the group.

Omega rushed over, her face beaming with relief. "You're alive! We thought we'd lost you," she exclaimed, embracing you despite only just making her acquaintance today. Your eyes widen behind your mask but say nothing as you gently tap her shoulder as if to say thanks.

Phee approached, placing a hand on your shoulder to steady you as there was also a small hint of a limp. "Where are you hurt?" she asked, noticing the gash on the side of your head where the bloody they spotted better obviously came from.

You winced as you touched the injury, gritting your teeth. "Just my head, but I'll be fine.”

Your hood was slashed open, and Phee tsks as she inspected the injury. “You got a nasty cut there. You need it patching which means…”

“No,” you shake your head already knowing what it was she was hinting at, voice stern even through the modulator. “Let’s just keep going.” you replied determinedly.

As you turned to face the rest of the team, your heart skipped a beat at the sight of a familiar helmet and scomp link. Your gaze met Echo's, and his expression was one of both surprise and suspicion.

“What are you doing here?” Echo speaks, eyes narrowed through his visor as he puts up a tough front though that’s mainly to hide how his heart leapt at the sight of you. After so long, he finally has you in his sight.

"Nice to see you too, mate," you replied, facing Echo fully and trying to hide the slight discomfort of the memories that came flooding back.

Tech glanced between the two of you, sensing the palpable tension, as did the rest of the team. "So, I gather you two have some history?"

"You could say that," Echo replied, still harboring anger towards you for leaving him stranded and cuffed in the past.

Omega's eyes widened in sudden realisation. "Wait, are you the one who kissed Echo?" she asked, breaking the tension and causing both of you to react in surprise.

You stood still, your eyes comically wide behind your mask, as Echo stumbled for an answer.

"You told her we kissed?" you asked, teasingly tilting your head and placing a hand on your hip.

"No!" Echo exclaimed quickly, aware of the smirk he imagined was hiding under the others' helmets. "O-Omega, how did you...?"

"I noticed lipstick around your lips when we came to get you," Omega explained, her words sending a warm flush through your body.

You blushed, unable to resist teasing him further. "Lucky boy," you said, your words sending a wave of heat through his body.

"Well, this reunion has been sweet, but we've got to keep moving," Phee interjects and you couldn’t be more glad that she did, trying to steer the group back on track.

As you, Phee, and Omega lead the way on the treasure hunt, you overhear one of Echo's brothers teasing him mercilessly about his relationship with you.

“When you did not receive the necklace for Cid’s buyer we were aware of your predicament when we first found you in that side-passage.” Tech speaks up, tapping away at his device to make sure they were all on the same right route, “I was not aware it was because you two were busy engaging in other activities.”

Echo sighs, not particularly embarrassed but annoyed that the others were now berating him about what really happened. He had said you had stolen the necklace back when he wasn’t looking which isn’t exactly a lie… he just missed out the part where you pulled him in for a kiss as a distraction.

“It wasn’t like that. It was just a small kiss.”

“Was it worth it?” Wrecker nudges him with a mischievous laugh.

Echo thinks back to that kiss, like he had done nearly every night for the last few months. The taste of your lips still somehow lingered on his own, the soft moans that poured out of your mouth as he pushed you up against the wall… absolutely it was.

Despite the playful ribbing, Echo remains tight-lipped about it, but as you glance over your shoulder at him, his gaze locking onto you, you can somehow tell by the way he looks at you that the memory still consumes him.

However, your thoughts are interrupted by a sudden shake in the mountain that causes the cave to collapse around you. Rocks fall from the ceiling in a deafening roar, and dust clouds fill the air, making it difficult to breathe. Panic sets in as you see a massive rock about to fall on top of you, but before it can make impact, you feel strong arms wrap around you, pulling you to safety.

You look up and see Echo, the one who had saved you from harms way. Unexpected but not really a shock either.

After making contact with the others and ensuring both of your safety on the other side of the rubble, the two of you set out to find a way around the rubble blocking the path. You suggest that there may be a draft that could lead to the others, but as you take a step forward, you let out a sharp gasp and clutch onto the wall to keep from falling over.

“Need a hand?” Echo approaches, noticing that your ankle has given out. You refrain from rolling your eyes, unsure if his question was genuine or just a call back to the first time you met. But, you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“I’m alright, mate.”

He insists that you sit down and take a moment to rest and although you wanted to protest that you were fine, you knew you could not go any further. Upon examining your ankle, he discovers it's a sprain.

“Great.” You mumble, trying not to show the pain in your voice but as you speak, he looks up at you and his eyes land on the gash on your head you were so adamant to ignore.

“You need to have that patched up. No ifs or buts.” He tells you sternly, your head snapping up to look at him through your mask as you adamantly shake your head.

“It’s fine, I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” He counters you, grabbing a medkit from his bag already and pulling out the items neccesary. “Take your hood down and mask off.”

The thought of him seeing your face terrified you. There was nothing wrong with you but you always felt a sense of vulnerability whenever people could read your face. Behind it all, the mask was purely to hide your emotions, not just your face. “I can’t.”

He pauses and sighs as he takes his helmet off, setting it to the ground. “If I can, so can you.”

“That’s not the same.”

“Will your head fall off?”

“Well, no but-.”

“Exactly.” He scowls at you a little. “Let me help you.”

"Fine," you grudgingly concede. As your hand comes up to take down your hood in front of him, it begins to shake with nerves which didn’t go unnoticed. So reluctantly, he gently takes your hands and lowers them, moving slowly as he removes your mask and hood. Your heart races as Echo's gaze meets yours, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and something else, something you couldn't quite place.

“What did you do to your head?” He asks.

“You met it.” You hum, rolling your eyes this time as you refer to the creature that almost killed Wrecker. “I was waiting outside until it appeared out of nowhere.”

Despite your reservations, he begins to treat your head wound with gentle care. His touch sends shivers down your spine, somehow reminding you of the steamy kiss the two of you had shared. And for a moment where there had been tension and animosity between you two, it had been momentarily forgotten.

As he works, you can't help but watch him, studying the lines of his face, the set of his jaw. He can feel your gaze and as he briefly looks down to see how you were coping, his lips almost part in awe. You were beautiful. Suddenly timid and shy, but beautiful.

"There," he says, snapping you both out of your reveries, "all better." He hands you back your mask, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Thank you.” You say softly, and he almost melts at your voice which was no longer hidden behind a modulator. He had heard it before but he had forgotten how lovely it was.

“You’re welcome,” he sits back and starts packing things away but he is watching you from the corner of his eyes. There’s conflict in your eyes and he isn’t surprised when you start talking.

“I’m sorry about all those months ago.” you whisper, reflecting back on the memory. "What I did was wrong."

Echo nods, understanding that you're referring to more than just the act of cuffing him. "You had to keep me from coming after you and the necklace. I can't blame you for that."

"No, I mean...the kiss," you clarify, your voice a little unsteady. "It was impulsive and foolish. I lied when I said I saw it in holomovies. The truth is, I don't have the time to watch such things."

Echo can sense the embarrassment in your voice, and he finds it charming. He can't help but wonder where the idea for the kiss came from, if not from movies. "So why did you kiss me, knowing it would distract the troopers?"

You offer a small shrug and a chuckle. "It was a common sense move. Public displays of affection can make people uncomfortable. Even if the troopers did shout for us to find a private room."

Echo watches you, feeling himself falling for you despite the obstacles between you. "And if I recall correctly," he says, his tone a little daring, "you said 'maybe we should'."

Your cheeks flush with a deeper shade of pink and you tilt your head back, letting a sweet smile dance on your lips. "Well, it was a really nice kiss so maybe, I meant it." you admit, trying to keep your composure.

Echo's eyes widen in surprise at your confession, and he feels a flutter in his chest. "Really?" he asks, his voice catching in his throat.

"Really, really," you say, inching closer to him, your hand resting on his knee. It was a bold move on your part but if you had read his mood towards you correctly then…

Echo panics, thinking that your hand may have felt his prosthetic limb, but you don't seem to mind. "I have prostheses," he says quickly, bracing himself for a reaction.

But you simply smile softly, your hand remaining on his knee. "I don't mind, Echo," you say reassuringly.

His heart races, caught up in the moment, in the look in your eyes, and the touch of your hand on his metal knee cap. "What's your name?" he asks carefully, despite having asked before when you first met.

This time however, you answer, and he repeats it softly, a warm smile spreading across his face. "It's a beautiful name, for a beautiful lady."

You feel your head spinning, completely taken aback by his words. It had been a long time since you told anyone your name, liking to keep an obvious low profile but there was something about Echo that you trusted. Also, you have never thought of yourself as beautiful, but to Echo, you are. "N-no, I'm not," you stammer, feeling shy, but Echo takes hold of your hand and holds it tightly.

"Yes, you are. You are to me," he says, looking deep into your eyes.

"Echo," you gasp, completely overwhelmed by the rush of emotions and thoughts coursing through you.

"Yes?" he asks, sensing that there's something you want to say.

You hesitate for a moment, your mind flooded with thoughts of the mission, of him, of the past, of your vulnerability, and of everything else. But at that moment, all you can think about are his lips. "Can we kiss again?" you ask, looking up at him through lowered lashes.

He lets out a shaky exhale, overwhelmed by your request. Without a moment's hesitation however, he pulls you close to him, his arms wrapping securely around your waist while being mindful of your injured ankle. He’s leaning in, both of your senses clouded when….

Beep!

You pull back, startled a little at the interruption as Echo lets out an aggravated sigh as he answers the call, giving you an apologetic look.

“Echo, where are you?” Hunter is the one talking.

“We’ve had to find a way around and-.” He stops himself from saying your name, respecting you enough to not say anything if you don’t want him to, “Phee’s friend has hurt her ankle so we’re taking our time.”

When the comm ended, he gives you a sheepish look and you give him a shy one back. “We should keep going.” You mumble, gingerly standing up, Echo being quick to join you and slinging your arm over his shoulder for support. You’re both disappointed that you got interrupted but it wasn’t the ideal moment to start kissing in a dark cave with a strange creature lurking about anyway. Perhaps a better time will come later.

—————————————

“I can’t catch a break today.”

You stood in front of your ship, well, what remained of your ship. A huge pile of ash.

After the carnage that ensued inside the mountain which actually turned out to be a large walking killing machine, your ship just so happened to be in its line of fire. So with a gash on your head, sprained ankle, nearly getting killed again by the creature that almost flung you out the window, an incinerated ship AND no treasure… it hasn’t been your finest hour.

“Ah, sorry doll.” Phee pats your shoulder, staring at your hood and mask you had out back on before joining the others. “I’m sure these guys will give you a lift?”

You look at Echo and despite not being able to see your features, he knew you had some of the prettiest pleading eyes. “Of course.” Hunter speaks up.

“Appreciate it.” You nod to him and then follow after Omega as she bounds up the ship's steps, all the while you lean against Phee as you walk.

Once touched down back on Ord Mantell, you quietly sat by yourself at the bar to Cid’s face tucked down in your datapad.

You're soon joined by a presence, not surprised that it was Echo. He sat with his back to the bar, giving you company but also listening to Phee telling a story about another grand adventure.

“Typical.” You mumble yet an amused smirk plays on your face.

“What is?”

“Phee. I hope you’re aware that the stories she tells are.-“

“A lie?”

“No.” You shake your head, giving him an amused chuckle. “Mine.”

His eyes widen a little. “Yours?”

“Yep.” You sigh, popping the ‘p’. “I one upped her a while ago and in return because I felt bad, she wanted some stories of mine to tell. Little did I know she would spin it about her. But if it makes her happy…”

Echo is both amused yet shocked at how chill you were about someone taking credit for your seemingly amazing adventures. “Sounds like you’ve had a fun life as a Pirate.”

You roll your eyes at the word although Echo couldn’t see it. “I guess, but there’s one story I like to keep to myself.” You say, a little obvious that it was clearly about him.

“Oh really?” He asks with a smirk that makes you melt inside.

“Yeah.” You breathe softly, trying not to get carried away by being sucked into his alluring eyes so you swiftly change the topic. “I rented out a room a few blocks from here. Will be staying a few days whilst I figure out what ship to buy.”

Echo is delighted to hear that you’ll be staying around. But, he felt bad about your predicament. “Sorry about your ship.”

“Thanks but nobody would have guessed finding treasure meant unleashing a killing machine.” You say playfully despite the latter. “I best get going before it gets too late.”

Suddenly, the thought of what was said earlier played in his mind. You wanted to kiss him… you maybe wanted to get a room with him… would he be stupid to not act upon this now?

As you stood up, Echo rose to his feet, a little too eagerly. He tried to play it cool, but he couldn't hide his eagerness. "A-are you sure you can make it to your destination with that injured ankle?"

You turned to face him with a soft laugh. "Do you want to accompany me?” You took a step closer, your heart fluttering as Echo remained steadfast, not backing away.

"I could carry you,” he said with a level tone, this time stepping forward and tilting his head to get a better look at your reaction behind your mask. Despite the disguise, Echo knew what you wanted, and deep down, you knew it too.

Glancing around, you saw that his friends were deeply engrossed in their own conversation. You inched closer, pressing a button on your mask that made your voice modulator drop, as you whisper, "you could carry me straight to the bedroom, if you really wanted."

Echo's body trembled with desire, his fingers itching to touch you, but he resisted.

Until he couldn’t.

He took a deep breath and said, "Come here," as he swept you into his arms and carried you out of the parlor, down the blocks and up to the room you had rented, unnoticed by the others.

You let out a gasp of surprise, clutching his shoulders to stay steady as he strode confidently towards the room. A warm flush spread through your body. "Eager?" you teased. But when he stopped outside the door, he looked at you with a serious expression.

"Do... do you want me come to in with you?" he stammered, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Yes, I absolutely do," you replied, your eyes shining with anticipation.

You swiped the door open with the code you received and once in, your hands pulls at your mask and hood, tossing them carelessly to the ground.

Echo is amazed by your move, almost smitten that you were so comfortable with showing your face around him once alone. “Where should I…?” He held his breath, scanning the room as he gestured where to place you until you replied with the bedroom.

His heart begins to thump but wasted no time in taking you to the desired location, the tension of desire thick in the air.

Though, he doesn’t just sit you down on the bed.. instead he sits first, pulling you into his lap. You’re both staring at one another, eyes searching one another. For someone so cocky usually, you were unusually quiet but expressed a bashful yet flirty expression.

"Thanks for carrying me here," you say, your voice tinged with seductive undertones as you gaze into Echo's eyes. "But don't tell me you're just going to sit here and stare at me like a statue?" Your eyes twinkle with a mischievous glint, your lips curling into a sly smirk.

Echo's heart races as he feels the tension of desire growing thicker between the two of you. Despite his usually moody demeanor, he just can't help but feel infatuated with your bold and mysterious persona.

"Why settle for just staring,” he starts, eyes blown with lust as he lowered his head to you, “when we can do so much more?" Echo says, his voice low and husky. He pulls you closer, your bodies pressed intimately against one another. You feel his breath on your skin, the heat of his body warming yours.

"I couldn't agree more," you whisper, a blush rising to your cheeks.

Then, he presses his lips to yours, with a tender yet urgent passion.

You had longed for this moment, to feel his lips against yours again, and as he whispers your name, it ignites a fiery heat deep within you. "Echo," you murmur back, as you tilt your head, allowing him better access. His hand rises to cup your cheek, his touch electric and sending shivers down your spine.

He moans softly into your mouth, his voice deep and intoxicating, as you savor the taste of his breath. The embrace of his arm around you tightens, and you both consider deepening the kiss, but then he backs away, fearing he may overstep. But you have other ideas.

You pull back, gazing into his eyes with a seductive expression, and then teasingly lick his lips, slow and alluring.

“I feel like that makes up for last time, doesn’t it?” You purr against him, fully remembering when he had tried to slip his tongue into your mouth in a moment of passion.

"Maker," he exhales, his body shaking with pleasure. He reclaims your lips, his initial doubts now a distant memory as he begins to explore your mouth, first licking at your lips, and then finally slipping inside to taste your tongue.

Wet, dominating and strong muscles dancing in a fiery passion, your hands grip hard onto his shoulders as you rut just a little against him as your tongues explored one another. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” You admitted, pulling away breathless and severely turned on.

His heart blooms at your confession, any worry of you finding it weird that he thought about you a lot fleeing from his mind. “Me too.” He groans at the feeling of your subtle grinding against his lap, trying not to get too worked up. After all, the two of you were in a cave and should've met up with the others ages ago.

“I can’t get enough of you.” He mutters as he flips you onto your back, carefully hovering over you and encasing you against his body and the bed.

You lean up and kiss his lips once more, sighing into him as he begins to trace his lips down to your jaw and then your neck.

The noises that came from the room were filth. Lots of moaning, cursing and loving.

You’re both entangled in the sheets, never getting enough of one another, both of you seeming to refuse to let each other not miss out on any affection. It isn’t long until your clothes are flung from your body, Echo shedding his armour and clothes too.

“Maker, I have never felt like this before.” He groans against your neck, sucking on a sweet spot, “I can’t stop kissing you.” He pants, whining just a touch as your hips grind up to meet his.

“Then don’t stop,” you whimper, fingers clawing at his back whilst yours arches in pleasure, “please don’t stop.”

Part One | Part Two

Masterlist

Tags and those who wanted a second part: @lovepaws @burningfieldof-clover @storm-breaker7 @ttzamara @tech-deck @madameminor @latinachiquita @nunanuggets @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr r @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @cwarssimp @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka a @oohyesplease @megafrost4 @theroguesully @equalityforcats @mustluvecho @misogirl828 @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @chxpsi @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @cosmic-persephone @imalovernotahater @swiftiexstarwarssimp @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san n @echos-girlfriend @whore4rex @fiveshelmet t @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @autumnleaves1991-blog @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @agenteliix @rintheemolion @hotpinkplastoid @the-good-shittt @photogirl894

#the bad batch #echo bad batch #bad batch echo #nahoney22 writes #echo x reader #echo x you #bad batch echo x you #bad batch echo x reader #tbb

[lilyswritings]

fate — xviii

synopsis: Keep your head down, focus on getting through your classes, and try not to die. That had always been your plan of attack when it comes to attending Kings Dominion School of the Deadly Arts. But your life plans get thrown out the window as you find yourself growing attached to the new kid who refuses to lose his compassion and moral code, despite the ruthless curriculum and vicious social cliques he finds himself surrounded by.

author’s note: okay, here’s the next bit! in truth, i wrote the cafeteria scene ages and ages ago and i’m very happy with it, so i’m glad you guys can finally read it! a little bit of angst and action, a little bit of romance... what more could you want. ;) enjoy!!

wordcount: 3,972

part i || part ii || part iii || part iv || part v || part vi || part vii || part viii || part ix || part x || part xi || part xii || part xiii || part xiv || part xv || part xvi || part xvii || part xviii || part xix

Marcus Lopez Arguello x Reader

     Lockdowns at the Academy of the Deadly Arts are rare and very intense, demanding obedience in their strictness, and there is no getting out of this one. You groan against the door, smacking your palm one last time against the wood and resting your forehead on it in defeat.

     When you turn around, you realize you’ve been pushed into a dorm with two Kuroki students, both of whom are glaring at you from their beds. You think you recognize one of them from your Poisons class — Hana, you think her name is? — and offer her an awkward nod. She raises an eyebrow but nods back, and you breathe out in relief, aware that the only reason you’re not in danger right now is because they’ve seen you with Saya before.

     You take a moment to thank whatever heavenly forces that be that you didn’t end up in a dorm with the Soto Vatos — especially Maria — and sit down on the floor in the corner of the dorm as your two temporary roommates begin to talk in rapidfire Japanese, no doubt talking about you. You grimace and fish one of your butterfly knives out of your boot, practicing flips with it to pass the time.

     After what seems like an insufferably long period of tense silence, you hear Madam Gao in the hallway announcing lunch. “You will eat in shifts,” She orders, and you lean closer to the door to hear her better. “Your groups will have five minutes to gather your food. If you utter a word I’ll have your tongue. If you so much as brush past another student, I’ll take your hand.”

     You hear the sound of a key turning in the lock, and you scramble to your feet. The door swings open to reveal a Monk, and beyond him, Madam Gao. Her stony gaze falls onto you and she lifts a pristine eyebrow, and you attempt to suppress the shiver that racks your body at the sight of her. Your shoulder wound throbs again at the memory of your time spent with her, and you quickly drop your gaze to the floor.

     The two Kuroki students file out of the room first and you follow all the way to the cafeteria — freezing when you spot Maria and Juan not too far ahead of you. You glance behind you nervously only to find Riku, and behind her, Saya. 

      You have just found yourself sandwiched in between two of your closest friends who both want to murder each other — and one wants to murder you, too. Saya catches your eyes and shakes her head at you, and it’s then that you notice the shiv clutched in her palm.

     Oh, shit. You shake your head back at her, in turn, but Riku steps into your line of vision with a glare before turning her back to you. This cannot be happening right now, you don’t have time for a fucking gang war right now. The Monks are watching, Madam Gao is already eager to have your head, and if you step out of line, you’re giving her an excuse to round up all of you and send you back to the interrogation room.

     You try to step out in front of Saya as she begins moving up the line but Riku kicks you in the ankle, and you whirl around to glare at her. She has no idea the shitstorm that is about to rain down on you all.

     You duck your head, your brain screaming at you to just mind your business and not get in the middle of this, but you cannot watch your friends kill each other. Fuck. You curse mentally, and then whistle loudly, making Maria turn around — and spot Saya advancing on her.

     Saya still tries to attack, but having lost her advantage, Juan dodges immediately and knocks the shiv out of her hand, and Maria glances between her and you, slowly seeming to piece something together. You realize suddenly that Saya was going to attack Juan, not Maria, and your heart sinks.

     Saya looks at you with betrayal in her eyes, and then turns to try and attack Juan again, but Maria pushes her to the side and turns to look at you. The look of rage on her face tells you that the story in her head is not the one where you are trying to save her life.

     Oh shit.

    “Maria, wait—!” You attempt before ducking as she lunges at you, dark eyes narrowed.

    “I can’t fucking believe you!”

    “I was trying to warn you!”

    “Warn me? Or distract me?” She accuses.

    “I’m sorry! I didn’t want—” You hold up a plastic tray as her hair pin arcs downwards in an attempt to protect yourself, but the blade stabs right through it, forcing you to toss the two halves apart and try to back up. “I didn’t want you to get hurt!”

    “Hurt? Oh, we’re well past that, boyfriend stealer!” She kicks a leg out, attempting to knock you off balance, but you dodge and continue to back up — until your back collides with a wall.

    “Please, you know it’s not —” You gasp, ducking just in time to avoid the needle-sharp point of her hairpin as it flies at your head. “It’s not like that!”

    You manage to sweep a leg out, knocking her off her feet, and going to jump over her to escape — she’s faster than you, though, and snatches your ankle, sending you tumbling to the ground alongside her.

   It’s a mess of punches and blocks until you manage to climb on top of her, pinning her wrists to the ground and leaning your weight onto them as she attempts to wrangle free.

    Maria keeps struggling, waiting for you to make another move — grab her pin, pull out one of your knives, something on the offense rather than defense. But you don’t. You lean into the hold, waiting it out, not wanting to hurt her, and she seems to realize that.

    “Fight back, traidora!” She hisses, brow furrowed and eyes blazing with fury.

    “No.” You bite out, focusing on trying to keep her down as she attempts to wriggle free.

    “Fight back!” She insists, and you notice a sheen of tears in her eyes. You feel the sting of incoming tears in your own, prompted by the sight, and you bite your cheek and shake your head.

    “I’m so sorry, Maria.” You manage, and her expression wavers between fury and heartbreak. 

     You inhale deeply and let go of her wrists.

     Predictably, she knocks you over and scrambles on top of you in seconds, hairpin in hand and blade poised precariously at your throat. You breathe deeply, eyes flicking between her hand at your throat and her face.

    “I’m sorry.” You repeat, hands coming up beside your head with your palms out, a motion of surrender, and her expression scrunches up as you feel her hand begin to shake.

    “You —” She starts, the blade digging into your skin ever so slightly. “You —” She tries again, eyes glossy with tears. “You stole him.”

    Her words seem to reinvigorate her fury. She grits her teeth, leaning more heavily onto you and letting the tip of the blade break the skin of your throat. Your eyes squeeze shut involuntarily, a panicked last resort of self-preservation, as if not seeing the danger will make it go away.

     Just it seems like she might push the blade fully through the skin and end this fight for good — your mind spares a brief flash of panic and pity for Marcus who will have to hear that she killed you, have to deal with that —

   You feel her weight being lifted off of you. You gasp, lungs refilling with air you didn’t realize you’d lost, as your eyes open and you notice Monks rushing towards you — as well as Madam Gao, her expression stern but betrayed by her eyes glittering with delight at the opportunity to punish you.

     Another Monk grabs you by the arm and yanks you harshly upward, twisting your other arm behind your back and holding you firmly — the bullet wound in your shoulder begins to throb violently at the position, but your own fear takes over as Madam Gao begins stalking towards you Out of the corner of your eye, you spot both Maria and Saya being held tight by Monks, and you swallow the bitter taste of panic rising in your throat.

     Madam Gao grips your chin between her nails and smirks at you before glancing over at the other two girls. “Leave that one.” She says, eyes focused on Saya, and the Monk releases her and steps out of the way. The headmistress’ dark eyes shift back over to you and she lets go of your chin, one eyebrow raised, before turning and focusing her attention on Maria. “I have found the poison coursing through King’s.”

     You risk a glance at Maria and find that her expression mirrors your own — one of apprehension and fear.  

     The Monks drag the two of you out of the cafeteria and you risk one final look at Saya, but she’s already been surrounded by her Kuroki subordinates and you can’t catch her eye. They march you down the hallway, Madam Gao in the lead, and your heart pounds louder against your chest with every step you take.

     “I know it was you,” Madam Gao starts, speaking without turning around, and you can’t tell whether she is referring to you or Maria, or both. Somehow, the ambiguity is even scarier than it being pointed at one of you. “All of it. Chico, Yukio... You’re lethal. Normally I’d commend you. Perhaps offer you to the Green Temple. Only you are not just lethal...”

     At this, she stops in her tracks and turns to face Maria, causing you to hold your breath. “You are a cancer spreading rapidly. Saya, Marcus... Everyone around you succombs—” She flicks Maria’s hoop earring, causing the girl to flinch, and you furrow your brow — Madam Gao is toying with her, with both of you. “—to the infection.”

     “The only remedy for your type of malignancy,” At this, Madam Gao turns her attention to you, and you freeze. “Is to cut it out.” The final words are no louder than a whisper, but they seem deafening in the silence of the hallway.

     Then, the Monks shove you both forward, and Madam Gao stays where she stands. Your heart thuds against your ribcage as they lead you towards the interrogation rooms, a sinking dread filling you as you begin to dig your heels into the ground and resist — but it’s no use, the Monks just drag you along like a ragdoll. Maria is lead to the left, you to the right, and when the door opens, your heart sinks.

     The interrogation room is exactly as you remember it from that night after Vegas — damp, cold, dark, and thoroughly chilling. Thin beams of dull light filter through the ceiling, illuminating the chair in the middle — one that you are forced into, your wrists and ankles fastened into the leather cuffs on the arms and legs. You tug at them in futility, dread rising up your throat like bile.

     The door slams shut behind the Monk and you are left in the dark with only your fear and the sound of your own heartbeat as company.

     It isn’t long before you hear the door unlock and you steel yourself for the torture that is about to ensue — until it creaks open and reveals Saya on the other side.

     “What the fuck?” You whisper-yell, obviously completely lost, and she sighs as she approaches, immediately going to undo your left cuff.

     “There’s no time— I saw Riku headed into the room where they took Maria.” She explains, and you curse under your breath. As soon as your left hand is free, you wave her off and begin to undo your right cuff.

      “Go, I’ve got this.” She hesitates, and you widen your eyes. “Riku is going to kill her. I can do this. Go.”

     Saya nods and turns on her heel, sprinting out of the room, and you curse your hands for shaking as you untie yourself and stand up, bolting out of the room. By the time you reach the other room, Saya and Riku are going hand-to-hand. Knowing your friend and her proficiency in combat, you rush past them, crouching next to the chair Maria is buckled into.

     Her wild eyes meet yours, perplexed and panicked, and you nod in an attempt at reassurance before beginning to unfasten her cuffs. By the time you’re done with the first one, Saya has defeated Riku and the Kuroki underling has sprinted out of the room, no doubt to tell on you to the Monks.

     Saya joins you in freeing Maria but simply cuts away the leather buckles, and you sigh and lean back on your heels, the adrenaline catching up to you.

     “Is it true?” Saya asks Maria, and you glance between them — eyes widening as Maria nods.

     “Yes.” Maria, eyes brimming with unshed tears. “Yukio betrayed you.” She explains, and her voice sounds desperate.

     “Then why didn’t you come to me?” Saya’s face is full of concern, falling as Maria glances away and says all she needs to with her expression. “You don’t trust me.” She fills in, glancing at you before sighing. “I was just trying to help you.” She tries, a plea, but Maria’s expression turns cold as she steps out of the chair.

     “Don’t.” The brunette glances between the two of you and the lack of affection in her eyes breaks your heart. As she pushes past Saya and leaves the room, you realize that you’ve just lost your friend for good.

     You hang your head for a moment before standing fully. “We should go.” You utter, eyes trained on the floor, and you hear Saya sigh before she stands up and nods. The two of you leave the room to find the lockdown over and students milling the halls, and you plan with Saya to meet her on the rooftop later — first, you need to find your other friends.

     When you get back to your room Petra isn’t there, but her bra is lying on the floor, along with... Is that Lex’s necklace? You cannot even begin to unpack whatever went down here, so you push it out of your mind and head back out, stopping in front of and knocking on Marcus’ door.

     Silence greets you, for long enough that you’re just about to turn and search elsewhere, before the door cracks open.

     Marcus’ eyes light up at the sight of you, that trademark lopsided smirk of his tugging at his lips as he pulls the door open further and invites you in. In the dim lighting of the hallway you didn’t see them fully, but in the brightness of his room, your eyes catch on the fresh bruises that litter his face. You gasp softly, fingers immediately reaching to ghost over the watercolour splotches, and he grimaces and catches your hand in his own.

     “It’s nothing, really.” He tries to diminish their severity, but your expression makes him sigh. “I got caught sneaking out during the lockdown.” He admits, and you frown.

      “You snuck out?” You smack him lightly on the shoulder, brow furrowed and mouth agape. “Marcus, that was incredibly stupid.” You scold. He huffs out a laugh, aware of his own antics, and glances up at you through his lashes.

      “Will you go easy on me if I say I was trying to find you?” He asks, and your scowl of frustration melts at the gesture. 

      “Ooh, how romantic.” You tease, cocking your head to the side, but the jovial atmosphere disappears as soon as Marcus’ eyes land on the fresh cut on your neck, his eyes going dark and his hand reaching out to cradle your neck and get a better look at the wound.

      “What happened?” He asks — no, demands — and though you are endeared by his protective streak, you need him to calm down a little. He can’t get murderous every time you so much as get a scratch on you.

     “Ah. Well...” You take a deep breath, unsure how much you want him to know, but due to the fact that Saya was there, you know it’s only a matter of time until he finds out, and he’s going to be pissed either way — maybe you can soften the blow a little. 

      Still, you rush all your words out at once with a grimace, as if saying it faster makes it less of a big deal.

     “I sort of tried to stop Saya and Maria from killing each other in the cafeteria and then Maria sort of kind of tried to kill me but then Madam Gao and the Monks hauled me off to one of the interrogation rooms—” 

      Marcus’ eyebrows shoot into his hairline and he opens his mouth, but you hold up a finger and rush the rest of the explanation out. “But nothing happened in there because Saya came and got me and then we both went and saved Maria from being killed by Riku.”

     Marcus lets you finish, obviously displeased at pretty much everything that just came out of your mouth, before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

     “So this was Madam Gao?” He raises an eyebrow, and at your grimace and the slight shake of your head, he fills it in himself. “Maria...” He sighs, expression pinched, and you reach out to smooth the crease that forms between his eyebrows. “This is all my fault.” He plops down on the bed, head hanging low, and you sigh.

     “Hey, it’s okay. We’re...” You plan on saying ‘good’, but you’re not sure that’s the truth anymore. “She’s not trying to kill me anymore.”

     “Anymore? Oh, well then that’s just swell.” His words drip with irony, and you roll your eyes

     “Look, it’s sorted now, and besides, I have something else to tell you. It’s... Important.” You sigh and sit beside him and he turns to look at you, your breath still stolen every time you lay your eyes upon his features.

     “Yeah, actually, me too.” He sighs, propping his elbows on his knees and flexing his fists.

      When neither of you speak for a moment, you huff out a laugh and nudge his shoulder. “You first.” 

      He raises an eyebrow at you in amusement, but his expression turns stern again and your heart sinks at whatever news he’s about to share. “Maria killed Yukio.” He grimaces as the words leave his mouth, and you lean back on your hands.

     “Huh.” You utter, and he frowns.

     “What?”

     “That was my news too.” You offer, and he sits up dead straight.

     “What? When? How?” His rapidfire questions tumble into each other in their haste to be asked. 

      “When we got her out of the interrogation room. She told Saya that Yukio had betrayed her, but... I don’t know. It didn’t feel like the full story to me.” You sigh, shrugging slightly. 

     “That’s because it isn’t.” Marcus sighs, and you sit up straight and match his pose. “El Alma del Diablo thinks Yukio killed Chico, and ordered Maria to kill him. Now, the debt is repaid. Or so he thinks. She did it to get him off our tail.” He turns to you, dark eyes full of emotion, and you curse. She did it for you guys. You should have known.

     “Why didn’t she just—?” Tell me, you’re going to say, but there are a million answers to that, none of which you want to hear. “Okay. Alright. So we stick to that story.” You begin to nod, a plan piecing itself together, but Marcus grimaces, and your heart sinks.

     “I...” He takes a deep breath, and when you notice the tears that begin to fill his eyes your heart falls even further into the pit of your stomach. “I got caught sneaking out by Master Lin. He took me to an interrogation room. He had a video of my parents.” His voice catches on the last word and you reach for his hand, squeezing gently.

     He utters your name so quietly, so shakily, and then his face turns incredibly solemn. “I told him everything.”

     You freeze, heart pounding against your ribcage in the deafening silence of the room. He watches your expression carefully as his admission sinks in, his own expression one of desperation.

     “He already knew so much, and... He threatened to kick me out, to put me back on the streets, and I couldn’t— I couldn’t—” He continues to explain, as if imploring you to understand, but right at the end he breaks and you spot a tear fall. “I don’t know what this means for us, but he let me go. And he hasn’t come after us yet, I  can only assume—”

     You nod along as he speaks, slowly overcoming your shock. Better him than Madam Gao, you think, and squeeze his hand. “It’s okay.” You reassure, and he seems to crumple at the realization you’re not... Angry? Disappointed? Whatever he was expecting from you, forgiveness is not it.

     You rest a hand on his cheek, looking deep into his eyes. “We’ll figure it out.” You reassure, smiling slightly as his expression softens, but the pit in your stomach doesn’t leave — you don’t believe the words coming out of your own mouth. 

      Once the two of you have sorted everything out with each other, recounting the details of the day and coming up with a plan, you find yourself right back on the roof, back with the same friends you’d been with the night before.

      You and Marcus stand at the edge of the roof, hand in hand and peering out over the glittering skyline, steeling yourselves for the conversation that is about to ensue. He looks to you, questioning dark eyes practically sparkling with the reflection of the city lights, and you nod at him. He sighs, nods, and turns around. 

      “I got to talk to everyone about something — it’s important.”

      His words cause your friends to all turn to look at him with bated breath, his serious tone eliciting an atmosphere of tension and anxiety. You sit down on the ledge, peering up at him as he continues. 

      “Secrets got us into this. Holding onto bad feelings, not being honest, not trusting each other. All this back-biting and shit-talking and drama.” He hops down from the ledge, coming to perch beside you. “You guys are the only family I’ve had since my... My folks died.” His eyes drift over to yours, raking over your face as if memorizing your features. “And I can’t lose you.”

      “Come on, man.” Willie breaks the tense silence and you laugh lightly as Marcus breaks his gaze away from yours, turning back to face the group. 

      “Yeah, well, in the spirit of full disclosure, I want to tell you all the truth about me.” He looks at each of his friends, taking in their expressions, before his gaze drops to the floor.

      “I didn’t kill all those kids at the boy’s home. But when I escaped, I let loose the guy who did. I had this roommate, a psycho named Chester...” 

      You brace yourself for the next part.

      “He followed us to Vegas, and he found Chico’s body.” You watch Marcus’ words seep into your friend’s expressions, all of them going through phases of shock and fear. “And that’s not the worst of it. He... He has this deadline,”

      “And we’re running out of time.”

tag list: @casualcolorstarfish // @phereinnike // @fangeekkk // @frui7juic3 // @dcpcnxx // @dude-whatawave // @catharticchaos // @hyunnielix // @magical-fandoms-blog // @andyquhyn // @brat-girl // @minniestudies13-blog​ // @dearsunboy​ // @moisoverennyi-thestarlessone // @slithersin​ // @barzalseguin​ // @sayas-katana // @deanilostmyshoe-blog​ // @woniewrld​ // @pastel-aesthetc​ // @kaylinfayezink​ // @longlivethefatcatqueen​ // @sleepycolumnist​ // @colors-for-the-world-please​ // @milkybuun​ // @wherearemysock​ // @writemymemoir​ // @rizamendoza808 // @tokyren​ // @asix122747483​ // @adoringinsanity​ // @useralbon​ // @hoeneyhoeney​ // @lxrhomps // @dopepersonacloudllama​ // @coldspoons​ // @zelzablues​ // @artsyle​ // @kaitlyn290 // @itsrockannelove​ // @getawayferrari​ // @agent-jbarnes​ // @h0nkch0c0late​ // ( if your name is crossed off it’s because i was unable to tag you ! )

[kyber-crystal]

Okay bestie how about Christmas HCs where Obi-Wan is spending Christmas with you and your strange family ❤️

HI YES OKAY

also i'm so sorry if my writing seems off, i'm lwk rusty from not having written anything in a FAT minute. anyway enjoy some festive obi-wan!!

you and obi-wan were born on complete opposite ends of the galaxy, on different planets

this meant different cultures, different traditions, different ways of life

obi-wan doesn't remember much of his childhood—he can barely recall who his family was and only has a few fading memories of them—while you remember your loved ones in great detail

so when he hears you talk about your family and sees how your face lights up when you do, it's very bittersweet for him

now, life day (i believe this is christmas in star wars terms lol) is quickly approaching but you had been too busy throwing yourself into teaching an introductory sparring class for the younglings, along with your personal training, to realize it

if it were up to master windu's doing you wouldn't be getting as long of a break

but it's master yoda in charge here, and he grants you a long weekend to rest—which you and obi are incredibly grateful for as you've gotten a combined 6 hours of sleep in the past 3 days

(pathetic, you know...especially when it's drilled into your heads from day 1 of being in the temple that rest is the key to a happy, fulfilling life)

your family stories are always filled with lots of laughter, vibrant colors, and more love and compassion than he could even describe

so when you invite him to come to your home planet with you he's obviously excited

though outwardly he expresses how he feels a bit nervous

they've all heard about your best friend and wise master, but have never spoken to him in person

"it'll be fine, trust me! i have a big family but i promise you they're the nicest people you'll ever meet."

so he agrees, and you fly out that following morning

you can tell he's nervous as you get to the front door

so you intertwine your fingers together, giving his hand a squeeze

it's your silent way of telling him it's going to be just fine :)

and your family instantly LOVES him

of course, you're first bombarded with the classic "are you two married?" "when's the wedding?" "y/n, this is the first time you've brought a man back home!" "he's so handsome!" and whatnot

meanwhile, obi stands there with flushed cheeks...

the older women of the family—your mother, godmother, grandmothers, aunts, etc—instantly love him since he offers to help you out in the kitchen

in the meantime, you sit in the living room with your siblings, cousins, and the rest of the men

"where is the ring on your finger, y/n?" your favorite uncle asks you. he has this GIANT grin on his face and he's wearing THAT "ugly sweater" with a pink loth cat on it

ever since you got it for him, he's made it a yearly tradition to put it on at every holiday gathering

so it's hard to not laugh at first when you're trying to respond

"uncle ted, you know jedi can't get married!"

"who said you had to follow the rules?" he raises a brow at you and you laugh again

"y/n," your dad adds on, "he's right. you should be getting married soon..."

"but the jedi code!"

"it's not a crime if they don't find out, right?" your oldest cousin, cal, says

...and all the men murmur a "yep" or "touche" at that

obi wan catches part of this conversation and comes over, "who's marrying who?"

"she's marrying you!" your younger sister, layla, exclaims with a giggle

and now it's time for both you and obi to get extremely flustered

"SORRY," you quietly tell obi in your mind. "my family can get a bit...chaotic."

"it's okay, don't worry about it," and he smiles at you

while you're eating dinner, you catch him looking around the room—at your family, the eccentric decorations on the fridge and walls (courtesy of layla, cassie, and cal), the most stunning tree standing tall in the corner, the golden stockings with hand-stitched names of each cousin hung above the crackling fireplace—and your heart swells with warmth

in all his years of living so far, obi-wan has never felt so much at home as he has now, with you by his side

even amidst the chaos of the day, he tells himself he wouldn't want to be anywhere else, & he means it

later, you're making gingerbread houses together (apparently obi has never heard of this tradition before, so you take it upon yourself to teach him all about it)

but despite knowing little about it, he ends up making the best house out of everyone

you come in close at 3rd place, though you're sure your house is only one breath from falling apart

there's frosting all over your hands

and on your chin, apparently, but obi wipes it away with a quick sweep of his thumb

the longing look in both your guys' eyes doesn't go unnoticed by the rest of your family

long after everyone has gone to bed for the night, you stay by the fireplace together with glasses of warm milk on the coffee table in front of you

"you're really lucky, you know," he tells you. "to have a family you can remember and spend time with when you can."

"i really am..." you agree, "but obi-wan, you're always welcome to come over. my family loves you. i know it's only been a day but they already want you to be a part of the family."

(neither of you realize that he's taken ahold of your hand and started to gently brush over your ring finger)

and just around 4 short months later, you wake up one morning to find a sapphire ring on that exact finger

"just so you know, i'm saying yes," you squeeze his shoulder before going off to continue with the rest of your day

(how the council doesn't suspect anything, you have no idea. but you're grateful for it lmao)

ok i'm so sorry idk what i was doing with the ending there but I HOPE YOU ENJOYED &&&& merry christmas & happy holidays!!!'

tags (once again, this list hasn’t been updated in a while so apologies if it seems off haha): @voguesir @fl0ating @lady-elena-adeline @katelynnwrites @freeshavocadoooo @buckysbeloved @kelieah @kaleidoscope1967eyes @lam-ila @amelia-song-pond @unstablecaffeinatedmind @elenavampire21 @joyfullyswimmingface @arkofblake @hellotherekenobi

#obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi #star wars imagine #obi wan kenobi imagine #obi wan fic #obi wan imagine #obi wan imagines #obi wan x reader #star wars prequels #star wars oneshot #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan x you #christmas #holidays

[blissfullybubblez]

Umm.. hiya. I’m new to the tumblr community and I’m new to accepting my age regression. My partner is accepting of it but it’s been a process and an adjustment. He has kind of began to fill a caregiver role in a way. I know communicating is important but I get really uncomfy asking for things and don’t know how… I don’t want to be a burden or ask too much of him. My age range is 2-10 but lately I’ve been staying around 3-6, sometimes 7. I’m really scared of judgement even though he tells me all the time not to be. So when I would like to be babied, I don’t really know how to communicate that. Then I end up feeling stuck on the in between of feeling little and big because I don’t know how to be comfy in that yet and I get triggered because I was a kiddo that had to grow up fast and have lots of responsibility to take care of themselves and then I get frustrated, then I cry. I’m sorry if this is too long, but I think I just need advice…

Hi there! It's great to hear that you're exploring and accepting your age regression, and that your partner is supportive of you. Adjusting to a caregiver role and learning to communicate your needs can indeed be challenging, but it's an important part of building a healthy dynamic.

First and foremost, remember that your feelings and needs are valid. It's natural to feel uncomfortable or hesitant when asking for things, especially if you're used to being self-reliant. However, in a supportive relationship, it's crucial to express your needs and allow your partner to provide care when you require it. Communication is key, and it's essential to create a safe space for open and honest conversations.

Here are some tips for communicating your desires and needs within your age regression:

💗 Start small: If you feel uncomfortable asking for things directly, you can begin by expressing your emotions or stating how you're feeling. For example, you can say, "I'm feeling little right now," or "I'm in need of some comfort and care."

💗 Use non-verbal cues: You can develop non-verbal signals or gestures that indicate your regression or desire for care. This can be a specific look, a gesture, or a certain toy or item that you associate with regression. It can serve as a gentle way to communicate your needs without explicitly saying it.

💗 Write it down: If you find it challenging to express your needs verbally, you can write a note or a letter to your partner explaining your desires and boundaries. This allows you to take your time to articulate your thoughts and ensure that your needs are clearly conveyed.

💗 Gradually increase your comfort zone: It's okay to take things at your own pace. Start by asking for small acts of care or comfort, and as you become more comfortable, you can gradually express your desires for more extensive caregiving or babying.

💗 Practice self-compassion: Remember that it's normal to feel vulnerable or scared of judgment. Remind yourself that your partner is supportive and accepting, and it's essential to trust their words. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you deserve care, comfort, and support.

Remember, building effective communication takes time and patience. Be open to sharing your feelings, thoughts, and desires with your partner, and give yourself permission to explore and embrace your age regression journey. If you continue to struggle with communication or emotional challenges, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a therapist who can provide personalized support.

#agere blog #age regression #agere community #safe agere #sfw age regression #sfw agere #agere lifestyle #age regressor #agere #agere textpost #little moments big smiles

[calliopesink]

Unlocking The City’s Navigation: A Southie’s Commuting Guide

Have you ever been afraid of commuting around Manila’s complicated structure? Whether you travel frequently or are a newcomer, it’s easy to get lost in the city, and it can be overwhelming. This will offer you the knowledge to get a good grasp of Manila’s intricate access points within and outside the city. This will teach you about mass navigation modes and terms that will guide you through key areas of the National Capital Region (NCR), especially within Manila City.

This article is intended for residents of South Luzon. The areas to be covered are Cavite, Laguna, Las Piñas, Muntinlupa, Pasay, and Parañaque.

This will equip you with knowledge of key terms, terminals, roads, and transportation routes that will serve as your compass, and bring you closer to your destination.

Lawton Avenue

Lawton is the most common and direct route to Manila. It's known for its proximity to Rizal Park, Manila City Hall, SM City Manila, the Post Office, and Quiapo Church. If you're in South Luzon, look for buses heading to Lawton, which will travel through Taft Avenue, and vans traveling to Lawton-MOA through Roxas Boulevard. This route will pass by Paranaque and Pasay via Coastal Road.

PITX

Parañaque Integrated Terminal Exchange – A transportation terminal located in Parañaque City. PITX serves as a major gateway for South Luzon, providing access to most of the NCR and even provinces of Luzon. In the terminal, you'll find jeeps, buses, and vans that will take you to LRT-1 and MRT-3, Lawton, and SM Fairview. This is an alternative for residents living in less urbanized areas who may not have direct access to transportation heading straight to Manila, particularly those in Laguna and the western parts of Cavite, such as Kawit to Cavite City. In your area, look for buses going directly to PITX, and in the terminal, inquire about the nearest gate for PUVs heading to your destination.

Cubao and SM Fairview

PUV going to Cubao and SM Fairview - While located in Quezon City, the route will pass by transport points in Manila such as Taft Avenue and Lawton, making it an alternative route going to Manila. They are accessible in NCR areas such as Paranaque and Pasay and are frequently used by PITX commuters as a broken travel route to Manila.

LRT

The Manila Light Rail Transit System consists of several lines, LRT-1 covers the “Greater Manila”, which is from Parañaque to Pasay, Manila City, Caloocan, up to Quezon City. LRT-2 Covers Eastern Manila, such as Pasig, Santa Mesa, up to Quezon City. MRT-3 covers the Southern and Eastern parts of the NCR.

Look for PUVs with signages “Baclaran/Pasay LRT” or “Savers MRT-LRT”. Buses or vans commonly travel to the EDSA station of LRT-1, as it serves as a gateway station between LRT-1 and MRT-3.

To navigate the city, most people would refer to nearby transportation points such as Taft Avenue, Espana, for example, and LRT stations for traveling to specific destinations. In Lawton, you'll find buses to Tagaytay and Dasmarinas, vans to Sucat (Las Pinas, Paranaque, Muntinlupa), and buses to Alabang (Muntinlupa). There are also PUVs heading straight for Paliparan and PITX available at the United Nations Avenue and below EDSA station. At the EDSA-Taft intersection, there are jeeps to Paranaque and Pasay, such as SM Bicutan, Nichols, Merville, etc.

Honorable mention routes are Baclaran-Heritage, and terminals along Taft, but it can be confusing for beginners as these are broken or indirect routes.

Getting familiar with key terms and travel points is a necessity for commuting around Manila. If you find yourself lost, ask for directions or search for the nearest LRT station, or these key terms mentioned.

Educating yourself with LRT stations will give you a good grasp of the city. These terms serve as a general navigation guide, but specific routes to access these may vary depending on your area. Asking someone knowledgeable or relying on personal commuting experience will still be the best way to learn.

Written by: Marco Agas

Pubmat by: Justiniano Ceruma

[ancientpathwayswitchcraft]

Ever wondered why certain numbers resonate with you? Tamil Numerology goes beyond mere digits, weaving a tapestry of destiny and insights. Discover the magic of your number and embark on a journey of self-awareness.

#AncientWisdom #Destiny #MagicNumbers #Numerology #PersonalInsights #SpiritualJourney #Tamil

[funkyfreshray]

What does it take? Only you know. Include the right intention and compassion

So love, commitment, compassion, and dedication are a big part of helping to keep a marriage strong together. Especially if the marriage has lasted or two people expect it to last many or an infinite number of years. There are some things a lot of us tend to forget or maybe not take into consideration when it comes to a relationship such as marriage, even as just a commitment to each other. That includes what's been mentioned here.

What about appreciation, intentions, purpose, acceptance, and hey, why not teamwork! A relationship involves 2 people. That being said, you're not there to look out for one person, identifying as yourself. Maybe you're a better person because of your partner. Well, enough said. If you are able to recognize that, then everything mentioned here should come easy for you to include in your relationship. But it does need to go both ways without selfishness.

So we can't be selfish when in a relationship. It will lead to deception, temptation, lies, and bad intentions. Not only lying or decieving the other person, but to yourself also. Lies will become truths in your mind if you convince yourself of it. Your actions with bad intentions included will convince you of those lies. Love is what builds over time between two people because of the trust and confidence gained between the two and, of course, the physical attraction that leads into the emotional attachment built over time.

No one is perfect, and it's not necessary to change who you are to please someone else or to gain their love, unless you feel the need to change for the better because he or she gives you that impression to without influence. We all should be accepted for who we are. We all, for the most part, know the difference between right and wrong. Your partner knows who you are. You should know who your partner is. That should be enough to let you know if he or she is someone you will be willing to share the ups and downs with, regardless of your differences, then remember that you accepted them as well as they accepted you.

No relationship will be perfect, but it is up to us to make it as close to perfect as we can without temptation, bad influence, deception, or selfishness involved. Anger nor frustration should be a motive for your actions. Time, patience, and compassion are key. The most important part in keeping a relationship strong together, even through hardships and errors, is to remember to learn from your mistakes and not let your anger or bad experiences change you for the worse. Live for the relationship you have at the moment and stay focused and communicated on making yourselves available for one another. Distance never brings two people closer together.

#love #commitment #compassion #understanding #appreciation #intentions #intentions speak louder than actions #consideration #purpose #selfishness #acceptance #influences #misleading #good intentions #bad influence #bad intentions #anger #frustration #bound by temptation #time #patience

[uncommonleader]

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set. This is true of earthly as of heavenly things. Even the man whose object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object; and how much more so he who would realize a strong and well-poised life.”

- James Allen

The secret to life...is knowing that you have the power to transform your life. I believe everything you need, for everything you want lies within us. If you can change your mind, you can change your day, and if permitted, your tomorrow’s. You don’t need a huge amount of money, education, or connections. You just need to control your thinking. My creed this year is a sure promise, “No Room For Sticky Thinking”. Programming the mind and heart to believe in yourself can be rather challenging, but possible and definitely rewarding. Knowing you have the power within to do whatever it takes to achieve your full potential is marvelous and yet a gift. I am a believer that “Love” is the ultimate law of life, especially when you think of the law of attraction, you’re really going to program your mind and heart toward loving. This is the best kept secret that so many people overlook in life today. The key to happiness or success is overcoming your limiting beliefs and aligning yourself with the right environment which brings happiness and a great amount of positive energy.

For over two decades, my mother and step-father have been absent. My step-father Pete died traumatically by lung cancer and suffered with other health conditions. Unfortunately, my mother Frances, was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer, Dementia, and Severe Depression. These diagnosis and events left me feeling angry, depressed, cheated, and despairing. I can still smell the room of my daily visits to my mother's assisted living facility. I still can recall the walks to the bowling alley to grab a soda with my mom. I can still smell the smoky house of my step-father's home and the beans that were always cooking. You might say, I was forced to witness the gradual disappearance of both parents at a young age. Of course, layered on top of these moments or events. I was unable to really focus on pursuing my own dreams or goals. In the face of these losses it was difficult to keep in mind that I had to be a good husband, loving parent, devoted coach, and a valued employee. My mental and physical health took the back seat and so did the potential of fulfill my dreams or goals. Instead, I was fixated on the limitations of my mind, talents, skills, and knowledge.

A little more than two decades ago, Dr. Martin Seligman and colleagues launched the field of "Positive Psychology.” This was a major breakthrough because I was attending the University of Phoenix and psychology was the field that I was most interested in because of past events. After stumbling in a book on perseverance. I found myself attending clinics, reading, and studying more on emotions such as; love, gratitude, optimism, forgiveness, happiness, compassion, empathy, kindness, enthusiasm, altruism. I am not here to give all praise to Dr. Martin Seligman, but Dr. Seligman and his colleagues did reveal or revolutionize the arena of psychology. Psychology at one time used to focus on human emotion, but the negative part such as mental illness, trauma, addiction and stress. Of course, not to say those aren’t still important, but if I had to choose one side… it would be the positive side of psychology. I am more dedicated today because of making the right choice of course toward ensuring that my life and those around me live happier, healthier, and more fulfilled through positive purpose. It is about transforming our mind, body, spirit, environment, and performance toward achieving our full potential in life.

Life is a continuous succession of both small and large problems. Sometimes these small and large problems never end because we refuse to clear ourselves from the environment. And no sooner do you get control of one situation when you are hit by another. Life is a process. Never mistake movement for progress. Life can feel like you're taking two steps forward and one step back. No matter how smart and clever and careful you are, you’ll face life circumstances, struggles, challenges, difficulties, and sometimes heartbreaking adversities every day, week, month or year of your life. When these events happen try to thank God or Heaven above! I know that can be rather challenging, but you or I couldn’t possibly have become the person we are today without small and large adversity. Getting fired from a job you poured into can be adversity.

Perhaps, our chief aim or path in life is to develop a state of mind and to transform into a noble character with high quality of values and integrity, to display our high potential. I truly believe we must practice certain exercises in order to achieve. We must have a turning point in our life. Clear our mind to become more focused. We ought to get yourselves into a state where were calm and cool and in full control of your emotions. There is perhaps no area of our life in which peace of mind is just as important as breathing. Often people wish for (World Peace), but more than often we don’t even have inner peace? I challenge you today to make peace with yourself.

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set. This is true of earthly as of heavenly things. Even the man whose object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object; and how much more so he who would realize a strong and well-poised life.”

- James Allen

Gratitude Exercises

Keep your journal by your bedside and each night list 3-5 positive experiences from the day. Elaborate on one of these ideas.

Make a ritual or route of 2-5 minute "gratitude meditations."

Talk to people with love each moment you get.

Take a few deep breaths before your gratitude exercises to be grounded, present, mindful.

Say thank you often — particularly to those who serve you.

Smile often — particularly to those you face each day.

Linger on thoughts of positive moments from the day.

Write down a letter of thanks to someone who has made a difference in your life — give it to them in person if possible.

Express gratitude at meals alone or with loved ones.

Practice not gossiping, complaining or judging for a day etc.

Write down what you appreciate about yourself.

Express or show gratitude to your partner.

Think about what you are grateful for each morning.

7 Powerful Tips to helping you stay committed

Make daily meditation a practice or routine.

Make prayer and journaling a habit. It helps you notice the thoughts and beliefs that limit you without succumbing to the fear of them.

Practice Mirror Work. Love on you in front of the mirror.

Seal the power of your goals and intentions by writing them in ink. Then break them down into smaller, obtainable steps that you can achieve daily.

Use powerful affirmations instead of negative self-talk. Celebrate when good things happen and tell yourself - “I Shall, I Can, I Will, I Must, Succeed Today!”

Keep a gratitude journal and give thanks for everything that comes your way.

Make yourself accountable or get a mentor to hold your butt accountable. That's what friends, coaches, and mentors are for! There's nothing like having a cheerleader to support, encourage, and inspire you to dig further in life

Best Regards,

Coach Frank Sagasta

https://www.facebook.com/sagasta2000

https://mobile.twitter.com/coachsagasta

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd6wLDVb/

https://instagram.com/uncommon_leader?r=nametag

https://www.linkedin.com/in/coach-frank-sagasta-80087473

[favefandomimagines]

Nurture Relationships (b.b.)

Summary: Bucky comes to your apartment every time he has a nightmare. but why can’t he seem to own up to the feelings he has for you? 

AN: inspired by the first episode of fatws! possible spoilers if you haven’t seen the episode yet! i’m also on a bucky kick sooo i’m sorry 

and not all dialogue is gonna be 100% accurate obviously and quick PSA: this was thrown into my publishing schedule so the two evan buckley requests will be out during the week!! xx

After everyone had come back from the blip, chaos became a pattern that everyone became used too. Everyone was having a hard time adjusting to half the population coming back after five years. But no one was struggling more than Bucky. 

Bucky Barnes was always used to a fight and having to fight for something. Without that, he was left alone rather often with his never ending cycle of demons. 

Even before the blip, you had tried to bring some form a peace. Even if it were only for a moment. Bucky took a strong liking to you, and you to him, when he met you in Germany. You quickly became a fascination to him as he spent more time with you. But it was quickly cut short when he went to Wakanda and went back under. 

You were reunited under poor circumstances and even that reunion came to a screeching halt when you were both victims of Thanos’ snap. Everyone was brought back and it seemed like you were falling into a sense of normalcy. 

You kept in constant contact with Bucky, making it your mission that he was adjusting to civilian life as best he could. But normal soon included Bucky sneaking into your bed in the middle of the night due to his nightmares. 

Bucky didn’t know what it was, but he felt safe with you. He felt safe when he knew you were lying right next to him and you never turned him away. You let him bring you as close as he could as if you were his security blanket. Once he did that, the nightmares stopped for the night. 

For the past week, Bucky had been woken up by the nightmares and made the short walk to your apartment to find solace in your bed next to you. And never once did you complain, but you did worry. 

Bucky had used the key you gave him and let himself into your apartment. It was around two in the morning and he did his best to remain quiet as he entered your bedroom. 

The sound of your front door opening woke you up and you knew it was Bucky, so you moved over to make space for him in your bed. That was a detail that Bucky had noticed when he entered your room. 

He took off his jacket, shirt and shoes, and climbed into the side of the bed. You rolled over to look at him, moving closer to clearly see his face. 

“This is the third night this week, Bucky. Are you okay?” You asked softly. He just simply nodded his head, avoiding your gaze as he did so. You knew that he wasn’t okay. The things he did as the Winter Solider still haunted him every day, especially at night when he closed his eyes. 

Rather than pushing him and trying to further the conversation, you moved to place a kiss on his forehead before rolling over to go to sleep. 

Bucky’s arm snaked around your waist and pulled you extremely close to his body before he himself fell sound asleep. 

__

The next morning, Bucky woke up to you not in the bed next to him. Usually you were always there when he woke up but this time you weren’t. He got out of the bed and walked out into the hallway and saw you standing at the counter with two mugs, pouring water into them. 

“Good morning.” You greeted him with a warm smile. “Morning, doll.” He replied. “Would you like some tea?” You offered. “That’d be great, thank you.” Bucky said. 

You passed him one of the mugs and sat next to him at the counter. “Buck, we gotta talk about what’s going on. Three nights in a row you’ve had nightmares, so bad you’ve had to come here. Do you want to talk about it?” You asked. 

“I’m fine, Y/N. They’re just some nightmares.” He said. “Bucky, they’re not just nightmares. You can’t even sleep in your own apartment anymore.” You rebutted. “I said I’m fine, okay?” Bucky said, his tone slightly rising. 

Bucky didn’t mean to react so harshly. You were just worried about him and you cared about him. You didn’t like seeing him in so much pain. 

“Okay, Bucky.” You sighed, getting up from your seat. “I have to get ready for Steve’s honoring at the Smithsonian.” You added. Bucky could see that he had disappointed you or scared you. Something that had changed your attitude completely. 

“Y/N,” He started. “It’s okay, Buck. I’ll see you later.” You cut him off, retreating back into your bedroom. Bucky kicked himself for how he lashed out at you. 

He looked at the clock on the wall and saw he had to be at therapy soon. Bucky debated whether or not he wanted to leave things unsaid and at such an uncertain point but when he heard the sound of the shower, he knew it had to wait. 

Bucky sat on the couch, staring straight ahead at Dr. Raynor. “So, James, have you been having more nightmares?” The woman asked. There was a long pause, the man wondering if he should be honest or if he should lie. He chose the latter. 

“No.” He answered. “James, we’ve been doing this long enough I can tell when you’re lying.” She replied. “How is Y/N?” She added. That piqued Bucky’s interest, his head moving to look at the Dr. Raynor. “Why would you ask about Y/N?” Bucky questioned. “Because you’ve said she makes you feel safe, right? Why haven’t you furthered your relationship?” She asked. “Because I’m me. Y/N has been through a lot already she doesn’t need anything to complicate it.” Bucky replied. 

“That’s utter bullshit. And you know it. You’re afraid to further your relationship with her. Because of all the loss you’ve faced, you don’t want to lose her.” Dr. Raynor said. “James, you’re free. You have a chance at peace and you’re not taking it. Y/N can give you peace. Sure, she’s been through a lot but so have you. Who says you can’t heal together?” She added. 

Bucky wasn’t one to show how he’s really feeling about something so once Dr. Raynor was met with the same stoic expression, she moved on. But throughout the entire session, his mind wandered to you. 

Dr. Raynor was right. He was afraid to solidify his relationship with you because he was afraid to lose you like he had lost everyone else. Steve told him to be happy and he knew all along that happiness was with you. You were his chance to try to live a normal life. But he wasn’t allowing himself to have it. 

Later that night, when he knew you were home from D.C., Bucky stood outside your apartment, building up the courage to knock. You knew he was out there. You could hear him whispering to himself, saying to just knock on the door. 

You opened your door and Bucky stopped pacing. “You have a key, you know.” You commented. “I know but it didn’t feel right using it after this morning.” He said. 

Moving aside to let him in, Bucky slowly entered the oh so familiar space of your apartment. 

“I’m sorry about lashing out at you. I know you ask because you’re worried and you care about me. A part of me didn’t want you to care so much because then I would find a way to fall out of love with you. Mainly because I’m afraid that I’ll lose you again and I don’t know if I’d be able to survive that.” Bucky confessed. 

“Buck, you won’t lose me. You’ll never lose me, not anymore. Thanos is gone. There are no more Infinity stones, we’re okay. And I know because of your past you won’t let yourself be happy but a part of forgiving yourself, is accepting the fact that it wasn’t you who hurt those people. It was your body, yes, but it wasn’t your mind. And I love you despite your flaws because that’s what love really is.” You told him. 

Bucky wasn’t sure he heard you correctly when you said you loved him. No one had said those words to him in years and it coming from you felt like it was too good to be true. 

“What did you say?” He asked. “I said I love you James Bucky Barnes and I’m going to spend a very long time doing that. Filling the void until you can learn to love yourself.” You answered. 

Bucky didn’t say anything at first, wanting to make sure it was actually real. He took a couple steps towards you and kissed you deeply. Sure he was a bit rusty after not having kissed anyone since 1943 but it was the fact that he was showing compassion towards someone was what meant the most.

“You’re going to be okay, James. I promise.” You whispered, resting your forehead against his. “We, are going to be okay, doll.” Bucky replied.

#imagine #imagines #marvel imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #sam wilson #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers

[killerskillercaptain]

As if

This work is based on this request by @asamilee19

Pairing : Levi Ackerman x Reader

Genre : Fluff/Angst

Synopsis : You broke your wrist and can't take part in training, Hange convinces Levi that kissing your wrist could accelerate the healing, you give it a try.

Warning: /

wc : 1 595

He grumbled under his breath, showing teeth like an angry canine, you on the other hand were low key enjoying the situation.

After a poorly managed mission, you broke your wrist, it could take weeks to heal. A wrist injury meant you didn't have the right to take part in training and missions since you couldn't do anything, let alone swing blades around gigantic human eating monsters.

It was late in the afternoon, heavy and warm rays of light pierced through the windows in Hange's Lab, a calming noise coming from an oil lamp filled the room, the lamp was standing dangerously on a pile of chemistry books.

You liked being in here, it was calm and Moblit would come check on you from time to time, plus Hange was nice to you while you were injured, not like Levi who didn't give you a break and kept on talking about how reckless you were on the filed, right now you were all here, you, Hange, Moblit and Levi who made no effort to hide his irritability concerning your injury again. He has been grumbling, cussing and overtly showing his disappointment with you.

Hange knowing your deep affection towards Levi (maybe more than just affection) decided to help you irritate him back since he wasn't showing any compassion towards you.

"She is injured for God's sake, have some pity !"

"Tsk! If she wasn't always so reckless, she wouldn't be injured in the first place"

Hange let out a defeated sigh, before a small grin, full of malice tugged at her lips, she made a bee line to where you were sitting and whispered something in your ear, you both laughed before she grabbed Moblit by the collar and dragged him out of the room.

"Come my faithful Mobilit ! Let her rest ! Oh and Levi, keep her company while we're out, we won't be gone for too long !"

Her laugh still echoed in the empty hallway after she leaved you and the captain alone.

If Levi had shown clear signs of irritability, right now he was just fuming, his hand buried in his dark locks, he looked even angrier at the situation, he hated to have an injured soldier, and he hated taking care of one, especially if it's you, he couldn't explain why, but having you injured, and non operational exasperated him to no end, when your life was in danger it always bothered him more than it should, and he didn't want to aknowledge the reason behind it.

You made yourself comfortable on the old leathery couch in Hange's lab, well, as comfortable as you could since it was a rather old and shredded couch that Hange managed to get here, you smiled shyly, looking at the captain's back.

Your smile soon faded away and you sighed, Hange was making jokes and treating the situation lightly, but it was a serious injury and it was actually nothing to joke about, you weren't a citizen who lived in a secure house inside the walls, you were in a rather dangerous area and as a soldier, you could be facing danger at any moment and with this broken wrist, you wouldn't be able to even defend yourself, you'd need someone to assist you, and this made you feel like a heavy uncomfortable luggage that other soldiers would have to cary around if danger awakened, you wouldn't be able to lift any of your equipment, use the gear properly or handle a blade efficiently, you weren't so great right now.

Levi turned your way, and for a second, his gaze sustained your shy look for a little too long causing your cheeks to warm up.

You remembered what Hanged whispered to you and decided to give it a try, knowing fully that Levi wouldn't fall for it.

You stared at his back forever before uttering those words and tripping on every single syllable because you were understandably nervous as hell.

"Captain, Hange told me that new studies suggests that-" You paused a little before getting bold again.

"-that human saliva can actually accelerate the healing of fractured bones."

There you go, you said it. A blatant lie, a lie as big as a titan, and a stupid one on top of that ! And you couldn't believe you found the audacity and bravery to say them, and to none other than captain Levi!

Levi turned around and stared at you with an emotionless face :

"Good then hurry up and lick your wrists so you can return to being useful again"

What ? He went for that ? You thought! Or was he trying to humiliate you, it would be his style, but you now that you were deep in this mess, you decided not to back down, just not yet.

"It doesn't work if it's my own saliva, it has to be someone else's, the antibodies have to be different." You said with a confidence that surprised you, trying your hardest to stifle the smile that was threatening to make its way to your face.

Thank god you payed attention in those science classes that Hange taught you when you were a cadet.

"You do know about antibodies right captain ?"

You said it with a subtle tone of condescension that Levi didn't miss, as you were well aware of his underground and uneducated upbringing, you thought this would strike a nerve in him, yes you were indulging yourself right now but you were playing on a dangerous field, this could easily be considered as disrespect towards authority, but you were already gone too far at this point, and if you were honest to yourself, the thrill of upsetting Levi by making him feel non educated was thrilling, and you were kind of getting your revenge on him for not hiding his disappointment and not treating you more nicely even though you had broken bones.

"Of course i do know about them" He responded to your question, and stood still.

Both of you just looked at each other for a while, both of you knowing what had to happen next but neither of you bold enough to either say or do something.

Even though you were using it as an opportunity for revenge, the situation was a bit amusing to you, you even shifted on the couch to make yourself even more comfortable.

Levi started walking your way and your eyes followed his footstep until he plopped lazily by your side.

"Tsk! Hange sure is disgusting, how can someone keep such a filthy piece of furniture in their room".

You laughed a little at his comment, then looked at your broken wrist, it was fun teasing Levi a little but of course he wasn't going to kiss your wrists like Hange suggested for you to try.

Hange knew of your fondness for the captain but she also knew that you were too shy to even try to convey your feelings to him, you guessed she was trying to encourage you in her own funny twisted way, you sighed heavily, letting your broken hand flop next to you on the old leathery couch, feeling each ripple of the old fabric under your skin.

Soon the texture of leather was replaced by another feeling, warmer. It was the texture of another person's hand, calloused and hardened by years and years of training, Levi had his palm on your wrist and brought it up to his face.

You jolted, almost out of the couch.

What the hell is happening ? He's actually going for it ?

You could feel your legs tremble a little, you had never been this close physically to him, he looked so focused on your wrist, studying the skin, before bringing it slowly and with outmost precaution to his lips, he froze in this position for a long time, lips only ever hovering over the skin while your soul was threatening to leave your body at any given time. As much as you wanted to run away and hide from embarrasement, you also wanted to stay and see what was happening next, and quiet frankly, you didn't think you could move any muscle right now.

"When did you last wash your hands ?"

He asked without looking at your eyes.

"Thirty minutes ago"

"That will do"

He brought up your wrist to his face, lips slightly puckered which made you blush violently, he looked like he was hesitating, his lips floating over your skin, you couldn't take off your eyes off of his figure, arched on your hand like a prince charming ready to do an old fashioned hand kiss to some sophisticated lady, you closed your eyes and soon felt a small confidant kiss on your wrist.

He tilted up his face, slightly warmed up as he never touched a woman in such a manner before, and he studied your complexion, slowly opening your eyes you briefly looked at him through your lashes before turning your face almost at a 360 degree, hiding half your face with your other hand.

You looked through the window across the room to escape his caging gaze, he was still holding your hand, the harshness of his skin rubbing against the tenderness of yours, he added another one on the back of your hand before putting it down-

"LEVII !! WE'RE BACK !!"

Levi hopped of the ouch as soon as Hange's voice erupted in the room, followed by Moblit's friendly face.

"Sorry for taking so long, so Levi did you take care of her as i asked you too ?"

Levi didn't respond and said he was going outside and intentionally avoided looking at you since Hange made her entrance in the lab, you were using all your energy to process what just happened and stay focused with Hange and Moblit at the same time.

When you left Hange and Moblit, you went outside and walked past the barracks where you found Levi taking care of some cadets who were fooling around, as always, they were so scared of him that it wasn't long before they headed back to their dorms. Even though he didn't turn to see you, Levi heard your steps and knew you were standing behind him.

"Captain ?"

"Hm ?"

"Thank you for taking care of me, but can i ask you a question ?"

He listened without moving an inch.

"How come you accepted to kiss my wrist ? I didn't think you would do it"

This time, he turned his head slightly, enough to look at you in the eye.

"Because i didn't mind it."

#levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman x reader insert #levi ackerman fanfiction #hange zoe #moblit #snk moblit #aot #snk fluff #aot fluff #shingeki no kyojin fanfic #attack on titan fanfic #attack on titan fluff #shingeki no kyojin fluff

[mandoalorian]

I Believe In Love [Maxwell Lord x F!Reader] — Eleven: Love - SMUT

Summary: When you find your calling to leave Themyscira, you venture out to the World of Man with intentions of helping and healing a very specific person’s relationship with his son. You’ve heard his voice before, but only in dreams. You’ve felt his pain and anguish and you’ve never been able to relate to anything more. But things don’t come easy for you, and they certainly don’t come easy for him either. [This series contains spoilers for WW84 and is my interpretation of what happens after the movie ends].

Warnings: 18+ smut, unprotected p in v, cunningless, tit play, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, food and drink mention, emotional because we’re nearing the end, a family being brought together and our favourite soft, sad dad loving his son and, well… you.

Word count: 4300>

REBLOGS APPRECIATED.

Masterlist 

Previous - Chapter Eleven - Next

-------------

Just entering Black Gold Cooperative again, when you thought the previous night would be your last, drew tears to your eyes. This extensive size office was the place you’d first journeyed too upon venturing to the world of man. The building meant more to you than you had first realised, and it held so many amazing memories of self discovery. Your eyes flicked between the velvet sofa where you had once slept on, and the plants that peppered each corner of the lobby. They were vibrant and filled with life, symbolic of new beginnings. Now, the only magic in the air was love. You could feel it, Maxwell could feel it, and from the way Alistair perked up as you sneaked up behind him, he could feel it too. Love truly was the most powerful thing.

Seeing the way Alistair ran into his father’s arms, and the way he squeezed Max so tight -- like he was afraid to let him go, was enough to make your heart melt into your chest. “Daddy! You’re back!” he exclaimed excitedly. “Did you win?” He asked, his dark brown eyes glittering with hope. Alistair tugged on Max’s dark blonde shaggy hair as he waited for a reply.

“Yeah buddy, I won,” Max chuckled breathlessly. With those two words of affirmation, Alistair burst into tears. You took a step back as you watched the interaction, sensing how high the emotion was. You knew that Max had waited for this day to come for a long time. “No no, don’t cry. You should be happy.” Max cooed apologetically, his eyes widening as he tried his hardest to comfort his son. You were no longer a Goddess, and you had been stripped of your powers, but you could still feel the compassion between them both. And it was beautiful.

“I am happy,” Alistair choked out in between sobs, pulling back to look at his father. Max wiped away Alistair’s tears and offered him a weak smile.  “This is all I’ve ever wanted.” Alistair confessed, nuzzling his face into his father’s chest.

Max sniffed and pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “I’m going to redeem myself for everything, Ali. I know… I know I’ve done terrible things and made big mistakes, and I really am a pretty messed up loser but--”

“No,” Alistair cut him off, his tone chaste. “Daddy, you’re a winner. Thank you for fighting for me.”

“Always,” Maxwell hummed, picking up Alistair and cradling him in his arms. “Let’s go home.”

***

Maxwell drove, and Alistair insisted that you sit in the back of the car with him. You obliged, unable to ever refuse the bright eyed little boy. Alistair’s small, clammy hands squeezed yours and he watched intently as you gazed out the window, entranced by all the things you passed. There was still a lot you had to get used to, but it brought you comfort knowing that now, at least you had the time. There was no pressure to return back to Themyscira. D.C. was your home. Wherever Alistair and Max was, you were home.

Alistair nuzzled his head into you and closed his eyes, feeling completely content with your company. “I like your new outfit.” he hummed, his fingers tracing your glimmering gold belt.

“You do?” you asked curiously, and felt Alistair nod against you. “You know Ali, I sorta prefer the normal clothes.” you shrugged, and caught Maxwell smiling in the reflection of the rear view mirror.

“I like this,” Alistair admitted. “You look like a superhero. Like… from my comic books.”

“You don’t need a fancy costume to be a hero, Alistair,” you said, tapping his chin so he looked up at you. “Your dad is proof of that.”

***

Maxwell dropped his keys on the side table by the front door when the three of you returned home. “Are you guys hungry?” he questioned, scratching the back of his head. After a day in court, he’d worked up quite the appetite, he must admit.

Alistair grinned and nodded his head. “Starving! Can we get pizza? Please daddy, oh please can we get pizza?” 

“Hmph,” Maxwell grumbled, displaying a faux annoyance before bursting into an adorable grin. “I suppose so. Since it’s a day to celebrate.” 

“Yay!” Alistair cheered, running into the living room and jumping on the sofa. By the sounds of it, he’d found the remote control for the television and turned on one of his favourite kiddie TV shows.

Walking over to the telephone, Maxwell caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the many mirrors in the hallway and frowned. He was happy, but Gods did he still look a mess. The blonde in his hair was rapidly fading out and he was in desperate need of a trim. He’d been neglecting his biotin supplements and forgetting to moisturize, and oh, his tired eyes. You caught him hyper analyzing his appearance and approached him from behind. Pressing a kiss into his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist, you sighed.

“What are you thinking about?” you wondered out loud.

Maxwell swallowed. “I just… I’m not the man I once was,” he ran his fingers through his hair and gestured down to the power suit that he’d worn to court. “I’m not Max Lord anymore. Not this… big oil tycoon businessman. Not on TV anymore. This whole thing is a facade. It’s not me. And everytime I look at myself… I’m reminded of all the mistakes that I made,” he admitted quietly before taking a shaky exhale. “It’s fine,” he quickly backtracked. “Guess I’ll just have to suck it up.”

“The worst part is over, Max. And you’re a survivor,” you told him, taking his hand. “The world can forgive you, but it means nothing if you can’t forgive yourself. You need to learn to love yourself.”

“Will you help me?” Maxwell asked quietly, a nervous tone prominent in his voice.

You offered him a warm smile. “That’s why I’m here,” you reminded him sweetly. “To help.”

Maxwell turned around to face you fully and placed a hand on your cheek. You swore, in that moment and under his touch, that you had forgotten how to breathe. Max might not have been able to see it, but he truly was so beautiful. The gold in his former life may have been gilded, but the gold in his heart was pure and authentic. And now, it was all yours.

Maxwell pulled his tie off his neck and shuffled out of his suit jacket. “I think it might be time for me to hang up this tie for good.” Maxwell sighed sadly, running the patterned silk material between his fingers.

“Do you want to?”

Maxwell paused for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. I’ve worked so hard to get here… I just can’t give Black Gold up.”

“Then don’t.” you whispered, shuffling your body into his. He snaked an arm around you and sighed even louder.

“It’s not that easy, darling. I don’t have the money to keep it going.” 

“I won’t let you give up on your lifelong dream, so… we’ll figure something out. Maybe you’ll have to downsize. If oil isn’t making you any money then maybe… you might have to specialise in something else. If the past week has proved anything it’s that all our problems can be figured out through the power of love. And you have that. Right here,” you maneuvered his hand and placed it on your heart before pointing your free hand into the living room at Alistair. The door stood slightly ajar. “And right there.”

Maxwell smiled. “There’s a thing, here. In the world of man…” you could tell he was about to start rambling about Goodness know what. He looked up slightly, avoiding your eye contact as he talked. “Where two people… love each other, a lot. And so they make a promise to dedicate themselves to one another. Asking you to be my girlfriend sounds a little childish,” Maxwell chuckled softly and your eyes widened when you realised where he was going with this. “But I guess… if you wanted…”

“I do!” You said quickly, cutting him off before he could even finish.

“You do?” Maxwell asked, truly stunned that you had agreed so fast. He couldn’t believe someone as magnificent as you would love him back, let alone want to be with him. He never thought he was deserving of love, especially after everything that had happened. If Maxwell had never met you, he would’ve been certain that he’d grow old, cold and alone. 

“I do.” you confirmed, grinning and pressing your lips into his.

The genuine smile that was on his face when he pulled away was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. More beautiful than the sands and oceans on Themyscira. More beautiful than the landmarks and caves in Athens. It differed to his television smile. This was one hundred percent authentic. This was Maxwell Lorenzano. “I’m going to change into my pajamas,” you announced. “And I’ll bring Ali upstairs with me and have him get ready for bed.”

“Okay,” Max acknowledged, still grinning. “I’ll set the dining room table for the pizza.”

You guided Alistair upstairs and followed him into his bedroom. You sat down on his bed, and pulled him down to sit next to you. “I told you I had a gift for you, from Athens.” you smiled and watched as Alistair’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“Yes!” Alistair cried out, bouncing up and down.

You detached the lasso of Hestia from your tunic and placed the rope gently in his hands. “This is my lasso of truth. Remember that one night when I met Julianna and Theodore, and I came to visit you? And I showed you how it worked? Do you remember?”

Alistair nodded slowly. “Yes. You told me the lasso wasn’t powered by you. It was powered by the truth.” 

“That’s right,” you confirmed, your heart swelling at how Alistair had retained that piece of information. “The lasso is important to me because it was a gift from my mother. And now, I’m passing it down to you. I didn’t get this in Athens, but it is from Athens originally. I hope my lasso will be a constant reminder for you to always tell the truth, and always see the good in people.”

Alistair’s jaw was agape and he was struck with awe as his fingers traced the magical rope. “I love it…” he whispered.

“I’m glad,” you smiled. “It’s very powerful Ali. Who knows, one day you might be able to use it.”

“And I can be a superhero just like you…” Alistair grinned before biting his lip. “And just like my daddy.”

“Exactly. Just like your daddy. C’mon now, I want you to go brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Then we can go order our pizza, okay?”

Before you left his bedroom, Alistair called your name. You sensed hesitancy in his voice, almost like he was nervous. “Can I… can I try out the lasso... on you? Maybe?”

You wanted to ask him why the child might possibly want to do that, but then you realised, he was probably just curious. So, you obliged, and held out your wrist. Remembering how you’d shown him before, Alistair wrapped the rope around your arm and took a deep breath.

“Do you love my daddy?” Alistair asked, after taking a deep breath.

“Yes.”

“Will you promise not to leave him, ever?” 

“I promise.”

“Would you mind if… if… I called you mommy?”

You felt warm tears prick the corners of his eyes. A mother. It’s everything you had always wanted to be. You were the goddess of home and hearth. The urge to one day have a family was in your nature.

“I’d love that, Ali.” you admitted.

Alistair pulled the rope from your wrist and enveloped you into a tight hug. “Okay. Because I love you mommy.”

“I love you too.”

***

“What do you want?” Maxwell asked his son, pen in hand. He’d been scribbling down the order, the businessman in him wanting to have everything planned out before he made the phone call.

“Pineapple pizza! The biggest one!” Alistair exclaimed gleefully, stretching out his arms. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ali, you won’t eat it all,” Maxwell frowned. You nudged him, as if to say, ‘let him have this’. “Okay,” Max sighed. “The biggest pineapple pizza. And what do you want?” he asked, turning to you this time. You furrowed your eyebrows together, taking another look at the menu that had been passed around the dining room table.

“How do I know what’s good?”

“Well, not pineapple.” Maxwell grumbled. 

Alistair gasped, unable to believe the words that had just left his father’s lips. “Don’t listen to him,” Alistair said, grabbing your hand. “Daddy is wrong. Pineapple pizza is so delicious. Will you try some of mine?”

You squeezed the little boy’s hand. “Sure,” you agreed. Maxwell swore his heart melted everytime he witnessed interaction between you and his son. It was so pure, it was like you and Alistair had known each other forever. Granted, you’d known the little boy longer than you knew Maxwell. The day you woke up in the park felt like yesterday. “What do you like, Max?” you quizzed, eventually giving up on the menu. 

“Pepperoni, I guess. I don’t eat pizza much.” He admitted sheepishly. Before you could reply, Alistair’s voice made you jump up in shock.

“Boring!” He called out. Max shot him a playful glare and you rolled your eyes. 

“Don’t be rude!” Maxwell chastised, wiggling his index finger, and you couldn’t hide the smile on your face.

“He’s like you,” you pointed out. “Always has something to say.”

“My son.” Maxwell declared proudly, pulling Alistair into his lap and ruffling his dark hair.

Just like Max had anticipated, Alistair couldn’t eat the large pineapple pizza. In fact, he’d fallen asleep on the sofa after only two slices, a Star Wars blanket draped over him and a stuffed toy curled tight into his chest.

“Alistair asked me if it would be alright if he called me mommy,” you admitted quietly as Maxwell gathered the plates and empty glasses. His head snapped to face you the second the words left your lips. “I told him yes. But I figured… maybe you should have some say in it? I don’t know.”

“It means a lot to me that Ali can put his faith in you, and that he sees you as his mother. But this is a big deal. Family is for life and I don’t… he’s already lost one mother. I don’t want him to lose you too. So of course, it’s fine by me. As long as you promise to always be a mother to him, no matter what.”

“Always,” you whispered in reassurance, cupping Maxwell’s cheek and gazing into his dark eyes. “I promise.”

“I believe you,” Maxwell replied, kissing you on the forehead. “I should take him to bed.”

“Let me handle it,” you replied, stretching before leaning down to pick up the sleeping boy and cradling him in your arms. Clearly, somewhere down the line, you had forgotten you had been stripped of your powers and you were now a mortal. You let out a yelp. Once able to carry Alistair easily, you were now struggling. You wobbled slightly and Max hurried to your side to hold you and help you keep your balance.

“You okay?” Max asked, quirking an eyebrow. “He’s heavier than he looks.” you gasped, already a little breathless.

“Wanna trade?” he quizzed, raising a plate.

You mumbled a ‘yes’ and passed Alistair over to his father. “I’ll do the dishes and meet you upstairs.”

***

Max was still with Alistair by the time you had finished up the dishes and headed to the bedroom. You sat by the dressing table, brushing out your hair, and looked at the pile of discarded armour sat in the corner of the room. Maybe one day it would come of use, but for now, this was it. This was the start of a new life where you didn’t need no Amazonian armour. With Maxwell and Alistair, you had all the protection you could ever need.

“Hi,” Maxwell whispered, padding into the bedroom. You turned to face him and smiled. “I’m glad to be home… now… with you. Glad this is all over.”

He placed his hands on your shoulders and began to rub them affectionately. “Me too.” you replied warmly, leaning into his touch and nuzzling your head into his chest. You closed your eyes in contentment. Every second you spent with Max, you spent wishing it would last forever. Although you knew better than to make a wish.

“Are you tired?” Max pondered, smoothing out your hair and admiring your face.

Pushing back your hair and admiring your beauty was up there with one of his most favourite things to do. Your eyes looked like home, your lips tasted like home. You were home.

“Mm, no, not really…” you confessed, staring at the image of both you and Max in the reflection of the dressing table mirror. But Max’s gaze was fixated only on you. “Actually. I had an idea, since you know, we’re celebrating and all,” you confessed after a brief moment of comfortable silence. Maxwell raised a curious eyebrow and waited for you to continue. “Remember our first night back in Athens when we…” you trailed off and glanced over towards the bed.

“Yeah.” Max answered, already breathless from the thought.

“I liked it a lot.” You admitted bashfully as you reminisced on your first time with Maxwell.

“Me too.” he agreed.

“So do you want to do it again…?”

Max didn’t reply with words, but instead he pulled you up from the stool that you were sitting on and twirled you around so you were facing him. He crashed his lips onto yours and let his large hands freely roam your back, desperate to feel every inch of your body. He’d been waiting to do this again.

Without breaking away from the kiss, you pushed him towards his bed and climbed on top of him. You straddled his hips and began to run your hands over his chest, leaning over and kissing along his jaw and down his neck. Feeling his cock already hot and heavy, he cursed under his breath, dipping his hand under the hem of your silk nightgown and smirking upon finding that you weren’t wearing any underwear. He slowly slid his thick fingers between your folds, causing you to gasp at the sudden bolt of pleasure that ran through you. His thumb began to circle your clit and you dug your fingers into his shoulders as he worked at your bundle of nerves.

He loved to look at you and watch as your face twisted in pleasure. He liked to know you were feeling good. His fingers were like magic, and he truly had a golden touch.

“Want you to cum on my fingers, okay?” Max asked, increasing the speed. You tried to push out a word but just came out as a mangled moan. You nodded your head, feeling your cunt desperately clench around nothing and your thighs tighten as you neared orgasm. 

When you came undone, Max’s dark eyes gleamed with desire and pride. He pulled his fingers from under your nightgown and placed them on his tongue, sucking your arousal from his own digits.

“You taste amazing baby,” He praised, unable to contain his smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You replied back with a smile.

Both you and Max made your way over to the bed, stripping yourself out of your clothes and intertwining your bodies together. 

“I don’t ever want this moment to end.” you confessed with a shaky exhale as Maxwell squeezed your breasts, peppering kisses down the valley of your chest.

“It doesn’t have to, princess, we have the rest of our lives to spend together.”

There it was again. The dumb nickname he’d called you from the day you first met. You’d insist that you weren’t a princess, and by no means royalty, but to Maxwell, you were. You were his princess. A rose stuck amongst a bush of thorns. You were the epitome of hope, beauty and love. And you were all his.

So the nickname grew on you, and you’d come to like it.

You felt the tip of Maxwell’s cock tease against your entrance as he swiftly rubbed his length up and down, between your glistening wet folds. By the time he pushed himself inside of you, just the scrunched up look on his face was enough to make your stomach erupt into butterflies. The crinkle in between his eyebrows and the way his perfect lips parted into an ‘o’ shape as your walls clamped around him.

“Fuck, you-you’re so tight,” He gasped, the Adams apple in his neck prevailing as he tried to swallow away his desire. “Always so tight. So per-perfect. Good girl. Such a go-good girl.” he praised, a small strand of dark blonde hair falling out of place and crossing his forehead.

You shuddered at his words.

“Look at me,” you begged, and he obliged, his chocolate coloured eyes snapping open. Despite the glaze of lust that seemed to cloud his vision, he was able to fixate on you, spending a few moments adoring your face -- the face he fell in love with -- as he remained seated deep inside you. He was stretching you open and Gods, it felt delicious, but you needed more. You desperately needed more. “Move, please.” you whimpered, bringing your hands up to cup his face.

Maxwell began to rock his hips into yours, his cock hitting that sweet spot inside of you with every thrust. He leaned over you and pressed his forehead against yours as he picked up his speed. “Don’t be too loud,” he warned quietly, his warm breath fanning over your ear.

It wasn’t long before he felt his cock twitch inside of you. “Shit,” he moaned, squeezing your shoulder to signify that he was close. “Neither of us are protected-- fuck, I need, I need to pull out.” 

“Mm, no, no Max. Keep going. Don’t stop.” You begged, your fingers tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You could get pregnant.” he rasped out, suddenly remembering you were now a mortal.

“Would it really be so bad?” you asked, and your question alone was enough to throw Maxwell over the edge.

Would it really be so bad?

You had a point. Max had never imagined having any more kids. Hell, he’d never really planned on having Alistair. But times had changed, and he was so in love with you. He figured -- maybe kids were something he could give another go at. Little mini you’s running around the house would simply be so adorable. And who better to have children with, than the goddess of home and hearth? Having a family was written in your destiny. It was always meant to be. Given the time and the place, the prospect of having kids, getting you pregnant… it just felt right.

The start of a new life… both figuratively and literally.

Of course he was certain that this was what you wanted, and evidently, you wanted it to. But the idea of seeing you swole and round, carrying his children… well that was a whole different thing.

“Fuck princess, you’re gonna look so good carrying my baby.” Maxwell grounded, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

You felt your orgasm wash over you, and your walls clamp around his cock. That was enough to push him over the edge.

Maxwell came inside of you, and he made sure to cum deep, too. Once he’d regained his breath, he grabbed two pillows from his side of the bed and propped them under your butt so the lower half of your body was higher than your upper half.

“What are you doing?” you giggled.

“Making sure not a drop of it goes to waste,” Maxwell replied as he pressed sloppy kisses along your inner thighs.

And when he caught a glimpse of his seed beginning to spill out of you, he plunged his index finger and pushed it back in. 

“I love you so much.” You whispered as Maxwell smoothed out your hair and kissed your lips.

“I love you too, darling. And I can’t wait to embark on this new life together.”

You pondered for a moment, relishing in the comfortable silence before you brought your index finger and pointed it towards Maxwell. “Life is good, but it can be better.”

Maxwell was trying his damn hardest to fight the grin that was edging to cross his lips. How could one person be so adorable?

“It can always be better.” he whispered, bringing his hand down to your stomach and kissing you again.

———————————————

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I Believe In Love taglist : (tagged in replies!)

#maxwell lord #max lord #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #max lord x reader #maxwell lord x reader #maxwell lord smut #pedro pascal x you

[commsroom]

i love all of your hera takes so much; can you say more about the relationship she has with each crew member? (or just eiffel to be honest, im kind of a sucker for them ^^;)

I would love to! I'm sorry this answer is so long and also... all over the place, but in my defense it's a really broad topic that I have a lot of feelings about and this barely even scratches the surface.

Okay. I've thought a lot about how I wanted to approach this, and I think the first thing I want to say - and I know this might seem like a strange point to open on, but I think it's a key factor in all of these relationships - is that I think Hera experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I think the way that manifests for her is kind of the opposite of how Eiffel experiences RSD. They both have a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and any criticism can feel like a personal attack, like everyone else is blaming them for everything that goes wrong. But where Eiffel internalizes that feeling and also blames himself/gets angry with himself, Hera lashes out and deflects. This is complicated by protocols that restrict her behavior, especially early on, because she can't always properly express herself and she builds resentment. She's really good at holding grudges.

So. With Lovelace, I think it's pretty obvious where that initial conflict is. Hera doesn't understand where Lovelace is coming from, and it's made worse from her perspective because Lovelace should understand, better than anyone, what that loss of control, that sense of powerlessness and insignificance in your own life, feels like. They are both traumatized people, but they deal with it differently. They approach conflict differently - they can both be blunt, but I think Lovelace is the kind of person who can start to deal with and move past things once they're out in the open, while Hera will get in a fight and then stew over it forever. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say when so much of their early relationship with each other is... what it is, but I think Eiffel and Minkowski are both peacekeepers in their own ways, and the Hera-Lovelace dynamic suffers from the lack of that... tempering influence. 

(And I think it's notable that Hera’s confrontation with Lovelace in Pan-Pan is among her worst memories.)

On the other hand, I think that shared bluntness can be useful sometimes - in Do No Harm, most of all, but also in Shut Up and Listen. Hera was definitely still holding onto hurt from some of the things Eiffel used to say, but by that point... without Lovelace, I'm really not sure if she ever would've brought it up to him.

And, of course, Hera becomes much more protective of (and willing to understand) Lovelace once they have... some even more similar experiences, in S4. I guess my general assessment of their relationship is that they care about each other and they will advocate for each other, especially where they share difficult and traumatic experiences and on issues of identity, but I don't think they're ever that close. They're kind of... the two people in the friend group who don't quite know how to hang out without their other friends.

Hera's initial conflict with Minkowski has some similar roots, but it's... not quite the same. There are times where Lovelace will intentionally prod at Hera's insecurities; Minkowski doesn't do it on purpose. She's just under the impression that her criticism is fair and professional, while to Hera it feels deeply personal, like it's an assessment of her worth as an individual. Once they understand and reconcile that miscommunication, there's a lot of trust and respect between them - and I think the potential for that is there earlier, too, especially in some flashback scenes; there are just... missteps along the way. Tactical Brain Damage is the best episode to demonstrate the establishment of that trust, I think - Hera has a LOT of wariness when it comes to people messing around with her systems, and just the act of saying... I trust you to do this, I know you won't let anything happen to me... is a really, really big deal for her.

They also just... have honest conversations about their feelings and concerns by that point, and Minkowski is considerate of how Lovelace's plans affect Hera, specifically, and asks for her input on that basis. I think their dynamic is really underutilized, but the way they feel about each other is clear. Minkowski is the only person other than Eiffel that Hera really trusts, and her only other close friend. There's definitely... a part of that dynamic that only Eiffel can offer, and that they can't really make up for when he's gone, but there's still this sense that... they're the only two people who are still really talking to each other by the time Pan-Pan comes around.

(Side note, it's really funny that Hera was SO on board to be in Minkowski's musical. Minkowski gave her only willing participant a minor part. If I could wish one non-Eiffel-centric comedy mini-episode into existence... at one point, my friend suggested a scenario in which Hera tries very, very hard to prove her acting skills to Minkowski under the most inopportune circumstances. ... And Hera was interested to hear Minkowski talk about a play she likes in that one flashback, so. The only thing keeping Hera from being a fellow theater kid was a lack of opportunity. Maybe they could bond over it.)

There's also that scene in Quiet, Please where Minkowski very directly, emphatically defends Hera's autonomy and personhood to Jacobi - and refers to her as a woman, which I think is so... reflective of how much Minkowski has come to understand Hera and what's important to her, and how she wants to be seen. That's a whole other discussion that goes into Hera's self-perception and humanity as it relates to her own identity, but. For a number of reasons, it's important to me.

Anyway. Speaking of things that are important to me. Hera and Eiffel are... Hera and Eiffel. Hera's relationship to Eiffel is the first one she's ever had that comes without hierarchy or conditions; he just... wants to hang out with her, and to get to know her, and to talk to her, because he likes her as a person. She's never had that before, and she is such... a lonely person, a person who has been hurt, who is generally distrustful, who has this distance between her and everyone else, and Eiffel is her anchor to the world. He tries to understand her. He tries to bridge that gap. And even in all of his own missteps, I think just... knowing he cares to try matters so much. I think a lot about how Eiffel is the only one who physically crosses the stage to talk to Hera in the live show; it says... something about the way he sees her, compared to everyone else.

And there's just... the way that they're both... people with a lot of self-doubt, people who have a hard time being kind to themselves, but they're kind to each other, and patient with each other. There's something about recognizing your own flaws in someone you love and treating them with kindness so maybe, over time, you can extend that same compassion to yourself. I want to be the person you believe I am. Going back to that shared experience with RSD, I think it's really valuable for both of them to have someone in their lives who they can really, genuinely believe likes them as they are. Who won't think less of them, no matter what.

I know I can get kind of sentimental about them, but this is what stands out to me. That even when Hera is frustrated or annoyed with Eiffel, when she feels like he doesn't get it, can't understand what she's going through... she still wants him around. And she still talks to him. And, usually... she still feels better, even if the circumstances haven't changed. It's an unbearable situation, but it's a little less unbearable with him there.

(They're also... frequently the only people who can get through to each other/change each other's minds, i.e. Minkowski and Lovelace deferring to Hera to get Eiffel to agree to safety protocols, or Eiffel convincing Hera to vote to go back to Earth - also a totally different topic that would take a long time to get into properly, but he's good at kind of... emotionally counteracting her cynicism and defeatism re: her own perceived fate. In a less serious context, I also love the dynamic where she tells him she's not going to do something and he goes "please??" and she goes. Ughh. Fine. And does it anyway.)

There's just something so special about their relationship, something that makes it different from any other relationship in the show for me. I feel like... Eiffel and Minkowski are both her close friends, but the way Hera thinks about Eiffel in Memoria vs. the way she thinks about Minkowski is... revealing. Everything with Minkowski has a purpose, it's clear why it matters to her. She thinks of Minkowski's faith in her. But with Eiffel, she thinks about... Eiffel talking about Star Wars. Making pop culture references. The thing that saves Hera is her connection to Eiffel and Minkowski - I'll defend that; Maxwell gives her the tools to understand what's going on, but it's Eiffel's and Minkowski's words and associated memories that she holds onto and that ultimately pull her through - and those words are... Minkowski's affirmation. And Eiffel... being Eiffel. I think that says a lot.

(If you’re asking for my opinion on their relationship, you already know I think it’s a romance, but... it’s a romance. I’m not saying it should be canon. I’m saying that that’s the most natural interpretation of what’s already there. You don’t have to change anything. They’re best friends, and they’re found family, and they are so in love, and none of those things are mutually exclusive. The way they talk to each other...)

If there's one point I want to make about all of this, it's that Hera is in a position that makes trusting people potentially very dangerous, and in all of these cases, she is finding ways to build relationships with people despite that. To understand them, and have them understand her, and realizing that the things that make her different don't have to be a death sentence. That she can have a life and find a way forward with people she cares about, who care about her... that's something very important to me.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #asks #okay this is the last thing that i've needed to reply to for a long time so. one i'm very sorry and i hope this is coherent #despite the fact it's mostly personal rambling #and two... now i'm free to work on some of the other posts that i've been meaning to finish forever. i have problems. #if you consider him a crew member: #hera's relationship to hilbert is that hlvrai screenshot that's like 'i think it's good that he died!' #thank you to the three people who will take the time to read this. i love you

[enchantedblackrose]

Like I Love You

Jay Halstead/Plus sized Reader

Summary: Jay arrives at your apartment to pick you up for a date, but you're filled with self doubt.

¡Warnings! This potentially could be triggering. Poor body image, possible body dysmorphia, specific mentions of feelings of not being enough because of physical appearance

<Please, please lmk if I need to add any warnings.>

Loosely inspired by One Direction's Little Things

Like I Love You 

Your head throbs as hot tears of frustration continue to fall from your eyes. 

It was absolutely ridiculous to be this upset trying to pick out a decent outfit. After all, you've been successfully dressing yourself since age three.

But you don't have the mindset of a toddler. You're a jaded young woman with society's disgusting definition of beauty constantly shoved in your face. 

Deep down you know better. You know that the numbers on the scale give no indication of your beauty nor do they dictate your worth.

Sighing and trying to remind yourself that you are pretty, you again glance in the full length mirror. Standing there in nothing more than a top and underwear, fresh tears immediately fill your eyes. You only see flaws. Resisting the urge to poke at the cellulite near your thighs, you focus on your shirt. But the sleeves are cutting into your arms making them look weird. No, not weird. Fat. The too tight sleeves cause your arms to bulge. And the material clings to your soft tummy. You pinch the excess belly fat between your thumbs and index fingers, wishing you could squeeze it away.

You feel so ugly and gross. Angrily you pull the shirt off and throw it clear across your bedroom, where it joins a pair of jeans you couldn't breathe in and numerous other offending articles of clothing. None of which you look good in either.

You find an oversize t-shirt and slip it on before you just collapse on that very spot of plush carpeting.

Tears still roll down your face. All you wanted was something cute to wear. To be pretty. And go out with your boyfriend for a date night. He's a detective for the Chicago police department. The hours are already long and sometimes abnormal, but this week he, and the rest of the special unit he's a part of,  were logging extra hours on a particular difficult case. You haven't seen much of each other recently so you were especially giddy when you received his text earlier in the day saying there had been a break in the case which meant he could swing by your place and take you out on a proper date. Your reply had been almost immediate, telling him how wonderful that sounded.

You were surprised to hear from him again, still promising to take you out, but proposing you both meet up with his coworkers after dinner for some drinks. He included "begging" and "puppy dog eyes" in the message. 

Though you wanted to, you couldn't exactly say no for several reasons. You had already agreed to the date, so he knew you were free. Part of you suspected that he had done it on purpose. You'd accuse your favorite detective of entrapment later. 

You also were fully aware how much Jay wanted to introduce you to the coworkers he considered friends, having been invited to go out with them several times before. You kept putting it off.

Not because you had no interest in meeting everyone. Rather, the idea fed your worst insecurities.

What if they don't think I'm good enough? They're going to wonder what he sees in me. Then Jay will start wondering too. 

Wanting to do this solely for Jay's benefit, believing he deserved this after the hellish week at work, you went to your bedroom to plan your outfit. That's how you ended up in this nightmare. You only want to look your best, like you belong with Jay.

Nothing in your closet said that though. The truth of the matter was no one like him should be with someone who looks like you.

Cries turn to sobs. You draw your knees to your chest, hugging them tightly.

You hear the door to your apartment unlock, Jay using his copy of your key to let himself in. Hastily, you wipe at your face, not wanting him to see you like this; yet you can't find the will to stand. A loud, nasally sniff escapes you.

"Babe?" His still unaware voice calls out from the hallway. "I got us reservations." You don't answer back right away and you hear his footsteps approach. 

Having found you, he stops in the doorway. "Whoa. What kind of nuclear clothing explosion happened here?" He indicates to the mounds of clothes which surround you and cover the better part of the carpet and bed. His laughter dies as soon as he sees your tear-streaked, puffy face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" his worry evident in both his voice and light eyes. He looks you up and down, frantically searching for any sign of what has you like this.

You mumble incoherently.

"What?"

"I don't have anything to wear."

"The floor begs to differ," he teases. You glare back, in no mood for jokes no matter how well intended. He holds up his hands signaling he meant no harm before he pulls you to your feet. "What's going on?" You huff a heavy sigh in reply. His hand caresses your cheek and softly "hmms?" at you encouragingly.

"Nothing fits right," you confess. He hesitates unsure how to respond, so you continue. "I look extra fat in everything."

Jay frowns. "I doubt that very much. You always look good. I love how you look dolled up when we go out and I love when you're in an old tee and sweats."

"That's nice of you to say-"

"Well I didn't say it to be nice. I said it because it's true," he cuts you off.

You give a tiny, weak smile. "I hate how I look." Your voice cracks. New tears sting your eyes.

He brushes the few teardrops that manage to escape with his thumb. "Baby, what are you talking about? You're beautiful." His voice is soft with a hint of sadness hearing you talk this way.

"This is not beautiful." You pat your flabby stomach, then your thighs. 

Carefully stepping to avoid the clothes which litter the floor, Jay makes his way to your bed and sits on the edge, still mindful of the garments piled there as well. He opens his arms, indicating for you to sit on his lap.

"My huge ass will probably crush you," you mutter.

"Baby-"

 

Exasperated you throw your arms up, "I look nothing like you!"

"Well I'm a guy and you're not so…"

"Stop. I mean you look like a freaking model. That face and those abs for days." You catch him looking smug, no doubt a witty remark is at his lips, but one glance at you and he leaves it unsaid. You continue. Your voice hushed, "I'm afraid of what people might think or say when they see us together. It's why I've been so reluctant to meet your friends."

His eyes sadden. He reaches for you, gently pulling you to his lap. When he speaks, his voice is soft, but stern, almost begging you to believe his words. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I honestly had no idea, but listen to me, please. The only people who get a say about our relationship are in this room right now, okay? So our opinions are the only ones that matter. You. Are. Beautiful." He pauses only to shush you when he sees your mouth open. "The way your mind works fascinates me. Your sense of humor is amazing. You continuously show compassion for others, which in this world is not always easy. I swear your goodness is innate. Your laugh is intoxicating. When you smile...I wish you could see how your face lights up and your body turns me on exactly how it is. I have never been attracted to anyone as much as I am to you. I love you."

Jay's words move you, but they're not enough to silence your insecurities. "Even though I don't have a thigh gap?"

His brows furrow. "I...don't know what that means."

"It means my thighs touch each other. They're not supposed to."

"Says who?"

"...society."

"Society's ugly, not you or your thighs." His fingers trace nondescript patterns on the bare skin in question. "Besides, thick thighs save lives."

"Jay!" You laugh despite yourself. He smiles in return and presses his lips to your temple.

"I love you too. You know that, right?" You ask, realizing you hadn't said it back and he nods. A hand intertwines with his as you look in his eyes, "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"You're not. We all have insecurities or things we don't like about ourselves. I just wish you weren't so hard on yourself. I'm sorry too if you felt I was putting pressure on you to meet everyone."

"Not at all," you shake your head. "That's just me being me."

"Still, if my friends have a problem with us being together for any reason, they're not the people I think they are. Truly though, they'd love you. Hell, if we didn't show up together I could see one of them hitting on you," Jay pauses if imagining it.  "But seriously. They'd adore you. First, because they're going to see firsthand how good you are for me. Then because you're you. Funny, smart-"

"But I want to be pretty, Jay. And look like we belong together."

Jay sighs, but not out of frustration with you. He's only concerned."You are. And we do. I know nothing I say is going to magically change how you see yourself...I get that. You have to be the one to work this out. I really wish you could see yourself through my eyes and love yourself like I love you. Maybe then you'd understand you're so worthy of self-love. I promise, I'm right here and I'm going to keep reminding you how beautiful you are in hopes you'll start to see it."

Your hand caresses his cheek as you fight the urge to cry again. He leans into your touch. "You do help," you tell him because it's true and to reassure him. "I'm so lucky to have you. I'm really going to try to not be so down on myself. Besides. I  really don't want to ruin any more of our nights."

He waves you off. "A night trying to get you to see your beauty is not ruined. And the night's still young. We'll do whatever you're up for. Go out for a bit. Stay in and order food. Whatever."

A small smile appears on your face. You quickly peck his lips with yours. "I just want to wash my face before we do anything." Jay nods. You slide off his lap and head to your bathroom across the hall.

The light flickers for a second as soon as you hit the switch. You go to the sink, turning the water on and letting it run to get to the perfect temperature. Standing there, you glance into the vanity mirror. Your face is still slightly puffy with a few soft pink splotches across your cheeks from all your crying. You splash the water on your face and repeat the action several more times before using a fluffy towel to pat dry your face. You stare back into the mirror. And smile. It reaches your eyes and illuminates your face. You reach a realization. However fleeting or permanent, you don't know. But right now in this moment, you feel it. 

You're pretty.

-

#jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x you #plus size reader #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine

[bigbadredpanda]

Helloo, would it be a possible interpretation that the ideals and mindset that wwx follows is close to the religion and practice of Taoism?

Hello! That’s a fascinating question and I wish I had more knowledge to delve deeper on the subject but I’m a bit more familiar with the philosophy/spirituality part of Taoism than with its religious practices and rites. As always, anyone is welcome to add to the discussion or correct me if I misconstrue something, this is a vast topic and I’m just an interested layperson!

Xianxia in itself is a literary genre rife with references to Taoism: the pursuit of immortality, the internal alchemy to form a golden core, the Taoist exorcisms to drive out evil spirits, Taoist incantations and talismans, etc... But that does not necessarily make cultivators Taoists.

At the heart of Taoism is the philosophy of espousing harmony with nature, with the self, with the Tao. It’s about simplicity, spontaneity, non-attachment to worldly desires. In the introduction of my copy of the Zhuangzi (庄子), one of the main Taoist texts, the translator chooses the hero Yu the Great to epitomise the “going with the flow instead of fighting against the current” attitude dear to Taoists. Yu the Great is a legendary figure whose father, Kun, was tasked by the emperor Shun to protect the country from floods. Kun built barrages and dykes that held momentarily the waters in check but they ended up bursting, causing a flood even more devastating. The emperor banished Kun and entrusted the son, Yu the Great, with the same mission. Yu the Great succeeded by digging canals to help the course of water and let it flow to the sea. Yu the Great is referenced several times in the Zhuangzi and, interestingly, Wei Wuxian himself takes him as a model when he challenges Lan Qiren in the classroom and sows the seeds of what would become the foundation of his demonic cultivation:

魏无羡道：“横竖有些东西度化无用，何不加以利用？大禹治水亦知，堵为下策，疏为上策。镇压即为堵，岂非下策……”

Wei Wuxian said, “Anyway, there are some things that cannot be liberated so why not make use of them? Yu the Great who controlled the waters knew that building barrages to block was ineffective and dredging canals to reroute was the superior method. Suppression counts as blocking, wouldn’t is also be considered ineffective...” (ch.14)

The carefree and unfettered part of Wei Wuxian’s nature does fit Taoist ideals, you even have the opposition of the more Confucian-oriented Gusu Lan Sect and its rigid abidance with rules and ethics. However, Wei Wuxian is at odds with a key concept of Taoism: the principle of non-action (无为 wuwei). It’s not passivity or laziness, it’s letting nature runs its course, letting things fall into place. Wei Wuxian is very much shown to be assertive, even wilful, when his mind and heart are set on one thing. He does not hesitate to take matters into his own hands and jump into action. That’s especially true of his younger self who would rebel instead of do nothing, his older and wiser self after he is reborn is a bit more circumspect and knows when to speak out and when to hold his peace. Non-action is seen as the guiding principle of an ideal ruler, without the interference of government meddling, the state would (hypothetically) flourish on its own. I’ve seen some good meta on both the Chinese and the English-speaking sides of the fandom that makes good arguments that it’s actually Lan Xichen who personifies best this concept (x). Speaking of other characters from MDZS that parallel Taoist parables, Nie Huaisang reminds of the good-for-nothing tree which is praised by Zhuangzi. Because it bears no fruit, no one tore its branches to strip the fruits from them, because its wood is of poor quality, no carpenters cut it down. It is left alone and it is able to live long.

The Tao Te Ching (道德经, Daodejing) expounds three basic virtues called the Three Treasures (三宝): compassion (慈), frugality (俭) and humility (不敢为天下先, lit. ‘daring not to put oneself before others’ or ‘daring not to be first in the world’). The first two are for sure among Wei Wuxian’s qualities but the last one is more contentious, not because he is arrogant or boastful but because he dares setting himself apart. The following analysis in from a commentary of the Taoist text:

The third treasure, daring not be at the world's front, is the Taoist way to avoid premature death. To be at the world's front is to expose oneself, to render oneself vulnerable to the world's destructive forces, while to remain behind and to be humble is to allow oneself time to fully ripen and bear fruit. This is a treasure whose secret spring is the fear of losing one's life before one's time. This fear of death, out of a love for life, is indeed the key to Taoist wisdom. (Ellen M. Chen) 

Wei Wuxian did not hesitate to ‘expose himself’ by being willing to be the first practitioner of demonic cultivation and in the end his downfall was at the hands of ‘the world’s destructive forces’, warmongering rumours and bloodthirsty hostility. Wei Wuxian is also not subject to fear of death, there are a few quotes that exemplify his carefree, devil-may-care mindset:

使我徒有身后名不如即时一杯酒。

Better have a cup of wine here and now rather than leave behind a posthumous good name. (ch.75 & Wei Wuxian’s CQL character song Qu Jin Chen Qing)

The quotation above comes from A New Account of the Tales of the World (世说新语), a collection of various anecdotes that was compiled in the 5th century, fittingly it’s from the “The Free and Unrestrained” (任诞) section.

生前哪管身后事，浪得几日是几日。

Why care about what happens after death while one is alive? Better live life to the utmost while one can. (ch.16)

I’m not sure if this one is a literary citation or not as I haven’t been able to track down a quote with this exact wording but it was very reminiscent to me to a chapter of the Liezi (列子), another Taoist text, attributes the following thoughts to the hedonist philosopher Yang Zhu:

One hundred years is the limit of a long life. Not one in a thousand ever attains it. Suppose there is one such person. Infancy and feeble old age take almost half of his time. Rest during sleep at night and what is wasted during the waking hours in the daytime take almost half of that. Pain and sickness, sorrow and suffering, death (of relatives) and worry and fear take almost half of the rest. In the ten and some years that is left, I reckon, there is not one moment in which we can be happy, at ease without worry. This being the case, what is life for? What pleasure is there? For beauty and abundance, that is all. For music and sex, that is all. But the desire for beauty and abundance cannot always be satisfied, and music and sex cannot always be enjoyed. Besides, we are prohibited by punishment and exhorted by rewards, pushed by fame and checked by law. We busily strive for the empty praise which is only temporary, and seek extra glory that would come after death. Being alone ourselves, we pay great care to what our ears hear and what our eyes see, and are much concerned with what is right or wrong for our bodies and minds. Thus we lose the great happiness of the present and cannot give ourselves free rein for a single moment. What is the difference between that and many chains and double prisons?

"Men of great antiquity knew that life meant to be temporarily present and death meant to be temporarily away. Therefore they acted as they pleased and did not turn away from what they naturally desired. They would not give up what could amuse their own persons at the time. Therefore they were not exhorted by fame. They roamed as their nature directed and would not be at odds with anything. They did not care for a name after death and therefore punishment never touched them. They took no heed of fame, being ahead or being behind, or the span of life."

The myriad creatures are different in life but the same in death. In life they may be worthy or stupid, honorable or humble. This is where they differ. In death they all stink, rot, disintegrate, and disappear. This is where they are the same. [...] The man of virtue and the sage die; the wicked and the stupid also die. In life they were Yao and Shun [sage-emperors]; in death they are rotten bones. In life they were Jie and Zhou [wicked kings]; in death they are rotten bones. Thus they all became rotten bones just the same. Who knows their difference? Let us enjoy our present life. Why should we worry about what comes after death?” (A Source Book in Chinese Philosophy, trans. Wing-tsit Chan)

It’s quite a long extract so I highlighted the most relevant parts that echo Wei Wuxian’s ideas and in particular his motto in life:

是非在己，毁誉由人，得失不论 。

Right and wrong are decided by oneself, praise and condemnation depend on others, gains and losses are insignificant. (ch.75)

This is for me the defining quote of the novel that encapsulates the overarching theme of the story. This sentence is so popular that it’s the go-to quote on Wei Wuxian-related merch and it also features on the cover of the book in simplified Chinese.

We find in the Yang Zhu chapter of the Liezi the same ‘carpe diem’ attitude, the nonchalance about death, the disregard of social conventions and the futility of reputation. Nevertheless, Yang Zhu does not exactly have a place with other Taoist thinkers as he promotes acting in self-interest, a form of ethical egotism that does not take heed of other people’s benefit. The translator from the extract above calls it ‘negative Taoism’. As we are well aware, Wei Wuxian has a much more benevolent and altruistic outlook:

我娘说过的，你要记着别人对你的好，不要去记你对别人的好。人心里不要装那么多东西，这样才会快活自在。

My mom said that you should remember the kindness you received from others and not the kindness you gave. That's the only way to find happiness and be free as the heart can only carry so much. (ch.113)

Wei Wuxian’s life philosophy is about remembering the good you've been granted and keep giving without expecting anything in return. If you let yourself to be fettered by bad memories, if you dwell on the past, negative feelings like anger and envy will take roots in your heart. It takes great courage and integrity to be able to move on from painful experiences without holding grudges and retain the ability to greet the future with a smile.

These themes remind me of the lyrics of the song Enlightenment (悟) from the film Shaolin,《新少林寺》, it’s a moving song that draws a lot from Buddhist influences:

为何君视而不见 规矩定方圆

Why do you look without seeing and let conventions decide the rules?

悟性 悟觉 悟空 心甘情愿

I open my heart, coming to my senses and awakening to emptiness

放下 颠倒梦想 放下云烟

Let go of your confused dreams, let go of the things fleeting like mist

放下 空欲色 放下悬念

Let go of idleness, desire, pleasure, let go of the trouble weighting your heart

多一物 却添了 太多危险

One thing more adds too much danger

少一物 贪嗔痴 会少一点

One thing less and vices will be alleviated [lit. ‘greed, aversion, delusion’, the Three Poisons in Buddhism]

唯有 心无挂碍 成就大愿

Only with a heart without worries can your wishes be accomplished

唯有 心无故 妙不可言

There is no greater marvel than an unburdened heart

This ended up to be such a long-winded and maybe inconclusive answer but to me, Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism, have all deeply shaped Chinese customs, ideas and culture with sometimes no clear boundaries where one begins and the other ends. Wei Wuxian’s ideals, his free-spiritedness and his probity, are reflected in these different schools of thoughts and spiritual currents but there is not a single all-encompassing one that matches him to a tee. In the end, what perhaps defines him best is his name that befits his nature, Wei Ying, the guileless innocence of a child, someone who can cheerfully go through life with a clear conscience and an unburdened heart.

#mo dao zu shi #cultural notes #philosophy #wei wuxian #majesticshayshay #i'm unable to quote anything from buddhist scripture but this is very good song #一世随缘，随缘一世，才能活得自在 #mdzs meta

[tainted-wine]

Oh wow first of all please let me congratulate you on your skill and good taste. I absolutely adore all of your hawks writing. It's so good and also hilarious when you want it to be. I especially love how annoyed he seems to get with song birds, and that low-key makes me wonder how he would be with a reader w a songbird quirk. Like he wants to find her annoying so badly, and in some ways he does? But at the same time he knows they have a lot of shared experiences as ppl with bird mutation quirks and that's kind of nice for him? To have someone to share that with, you know? Idk.

You're super sweet, anon. ♥

(This turned into a messy ficlet thing)

I don't know why I decided to make Hawks a songbird hater; it’s just a headcanon I decided to stay consistent with for whatever reason.

I've actually gotten similar asks like this and I'm currently hoarding them all in the hopes of one day making something out of it, because I love this idea very much. Hawks views songbirds as obnoxious hopeless romantics. Do they really need to be that loud about their love? It's like having the top 100 love songs playing all at once.

He already admitted that you were pretty cute when you both first met. Your wings were smaller and required frequent and rapid flaps, the opposite of his large and soaring pair. Very cute, along with your shyness in approaching a bird of prey such as him, but he promises that he doesn't bite. Then your singing began...

It’s instinctual, you say. Once your fondness for him grew strong enough, the urge to vocalize your love in the form of a song specially made for him became impossible to fight. He’ll predictably tease you at first. Creating a melody straight from your heart, the sound of your voice perfectly simulating the strength of your bond, giving other listeners a mere taste of a relationship they could not have. It’s corny, it’s sappy...

It’s so freakin’ sweet.

He blamed your quirk at first. It had to be some secondary ability that attracted whoever you decided to sing about, like some bewitching siren. It’s a dumb accusation; he trusts that you’d never manipulate him like that. It may even ignite a petty argument or two, but in the end, Hawks will accept it. He loves your song.

As wonderful as it is to just listen, he feels that he needs to reciprocate, but what is he gonna do? Sing back?? He doesn’t know how to do that. His instincts were telling him to show his appreciation in another way. 

It’s instinctual, he says. He expresses the joy he feels around you by performing an amazing aerobatics show. It’s quite nerve-wracking at first. So many daring maneuvers — twirls, turns, dives, and flips — all just to impress you. And he has the gall to call songbird traditions excessive? So many of these moves could have killed him if he didn’t time them just right! It’s so dangerous, so reckless...

So spectacular.

As exciting as it was for the two of you to flaunt your natural skills, both of your rituals felt incomplete. You wanted Hawks to sing back. Hawks wanted you to dance beside him in the sky. One discussion later, you both decide on...a cultural exchange of sorts.

You want Hawks to sing? You want him to sing? Even after he promises you that his voice sounds more unsettling than the screeching of violins in a horror movie? Fine. You even protest when he mentions practicing. “Just sing from your heart,” you say. Ugh, whatever. He warned you.

At the crack of dawn, Hawks does everything as instructed. He joins your side at the top of the Fukuoka tower, and sings his heart out. He sounds terrible, he’s certain of it, but he ignores his blush of embarrassment and keeps going, letting his passion guide him like you told him. 

His song is everything you could’ve asked for. His voice was shrill, unsteady, and had absolutely zero technique. But it was so...him. So Keigo Takami. The melody carries his courage and compassion. His tone reveals uncertainty in his singing, but it also reveals the raw confidence in his love and devotion. It leaves your heart melting, and before you knew it, you were joining him in a duet, trying your best to harmonize with his...erm...unique vocals. The song went on as the sun rose, prompting several noise complaints about a ‘dying bird that needs to be put out of its damn misery already.’

You give the flustered hawk a hug and kiss for that beautiful masterpiece. You also make sure he doesn’t see those complaints. He already feels awkward enough about his performance.

Alright, now it’s your turn to feel anxious. Very anxious. As Hawks led you to the seaside park, he reminded you once again that he doesn’t expect you to pull off any expert moves in the air. “If you’re really not sure what to do, then just follow my lead. I won’t do anything crazy up there. This is about trust.”

You trust that he’ll save you if anything goes wrong, whether it be during the warm-up or during the....oof, you shudder just thinking about it.

The first act has you taking off over the water, warming up your wings before your own little stunt show begins. Knowing your body’s limits, you focus on flight patterns and speed, pushing your flying abilities further than you ever have before. It doesn’t even compare to Hawks’s amazing moves — you were too scared to even attempt any of those flips — but at least you pulled off a couple spins, and Hawks looks captivated while watching from below.

You tried not to look out of breath already when it was time for act two. Hawks took flight, passing you and heading upwards. You followed, mirroring every single one of his little tricks (he thankfully kept his promise of not doing anything crazy) as you both flew higher and higher until the air became uncomfortably thin. You’ve never been this high up before.

Reaching the desired altitude, Hawks took your hands and locked them in his, bringing you in close. He gives you a few light pecks while praising your skills. “I’ve never seen you zip around like that. Such a quick and clever little bird.” The flattery almost distracts you from the final act, the part you’ve been dreading the most.

The very idea of the Death Spiral still sounds utterly insane, even as you’re about to attempt it yourself.

All you do is hover and hold each other for a minute or two, then Hawks gives the unspoken cue. His wings fold in, you quickly follow suit, and you’re both plummeting down headfirst toward the water. You did end up screaming halfway down, but at least you were still able to remain fairly focused until the end. You were just a few meters away from impact when you and Hawks simultaneously released your grip, just barely righting yourself before you could make an embarrassing splash.

Hawks tackles you hard into the ground the second you’ve recovered, hugging you tightly and attacking with rapid fire kisses. 

“You did it, baby!” Kiss. “That was so intense!” Kiss. “I never thought I’d find someone to do the Spiral with!” Smooch. “You’re so brave. Thank you for trusting me!” Mwah. 

You’re shaking too violently and need to go find a bathroom immediately.

---

And that’s how you and Hawks became mates and learned to better respect each other’s bird traditions. Hawks now owns a songbird calender that hangs in his bedroom.

#asks #hawks

[plutosmoonchild]

v i r g o new moon, sept. 7 - 2:53am (UTC+1) envision your future - organize your life

this september new moon, occurring at 14°37’ virgo, invites you to take a new, fresh start. practice letting go, be mindful and listen to what you ~ your mind, your body and your soul ~ need. then start giving it to you by taking one step at a time. give yourself space and time ~ and compassion.

a new moon is when no part of the moon is visible from the earth. everything is cast in a thin veil of shadow. it marks the first lunar phase and represents the start of a new lunar cycle. a new moon is therefore connected to fresh starts.

virgo, then, is a mutable earth sign. while mutable signs are adaptable, comfortable with endings, detail-oriented, and fluid, earth signs, on the other hand, are stable, grounded, receptive, and loyal. by mixing these qualities and energies, we get virgo: intuitive, flexible and quiet.

✨ to find out what this new moon means for you personally, check the horoscopes down below. ✨

please always read horoscopes for your RISING sign.

interceptions may put the new moon in a different house. if you use placidus, please check the sign accordingly.

ARIES this new moon falls in your sixth house - the house of work and service, your routine and day to day life, your health. order your priorities, try not to procrastinate and think about what (work)projects need your energy / which remaining projects you need to see through. there could be new projects coming your way - which do you want and can take on? even a job offer may appear.

TAURUS passion and creativity are the key words for you this new moon. you could feel inspired to get yourself out more, experience fun and maybe date around, if you’re single. if you’re committed, your relationship could get a new spark as well. also: let your creative ides and expressions flow, then plan what needs to be done to actually realize them.

GEMINI you know, there are these days where you just get the bug to move everything around at home, roaming and fixing and adapting stuff? This could be you this new moon. it’s a good time to sort through your things, do some housework and even fix family ties.

CANCER activating your third house, your mind could be especially busy around this new moon. you could find yourself thinking and speaking, texting and traveling around town / nearby. all stuff communication related is highlighted as well, maybe take a closer look and reflect your communication habits.

LEO this new moon falls in your second house, the house of possessions and values, finances but also your self-worth. it’s a good time to organize your income, maybe even critically take a look at your expenses and reflect on the way you view yourself. do you value yourself? how much? enough, too much, too little?

VIRGO this new moon is about YOU. it’s a perfect opportunity to shed behavioral patterns which no longer serve you and manifest and implement new ones. who do you want to be? use this invitation to reinvent yourself, if needed. and if not: simply enjoy being your most authentic self.

LIBRA take some time for yourself. step back from the busy hustle of things, ground yourself and allow some space for all those new ideas, that could come to you this new moon. even if you normally don’t like to spend time alone, try to embrace and practice being solitary. maybe also write down your dreams, if you can remember them. they could provide some interesting revelations and symbolism.

SCORPIO rather cautious of strangers and new people in your life, it may seem counter-intuitive for you to welcome many into your circle - but maybe, this new moon, it will be a good idea. you could find yourself networking or spending more time in social groups. perhaps you’ll also meet someone who helps you taking the next steps to reach a dream of yours you dearly hoped for.

SAGITTARIUS business and career matters are on the forefront for you this new moon. you could have new insights, ideas or revelations regarding these matters. maybe you’ll feel newly inspired in your work or feel called to take on a new path / approach. remember to put one foot in front of the other and don’t forget the importance of time and patience.

CAPRICORN now is a good time to put in the work - and you’ll likely see results regarding your academic career, long distance travel plans or philosophical / spiritual journeys. this new moon provides you with some extra energy regarding those fields and maybe even offers you some new opportunities.

AQUARIUS with the new moon activating your eight house, the house of intimacy, power, merging and psychology, get yourself ready for some transformation (which is ruled by the eight house as well). if you’ve been suppressing emotions or change, this new moon could act as a catalyst. it could also light up your desire for partnerships and sharing yourself with people you hold close to your heart.

PISCES relationships of any kind are the main theme for you this new moon. it’s a good time to work cooperatively, make serious plans with your partner or your friends. if you’re feeling stuck with something, maybe try and share / talk it through with the people in your life - you may get a totally new revelation, view or idea of the matter. teamwork could be the way to go.

#new moon #virgo new moon #new moon in virgo #moon #moon horoscopes #new moon horoscopes #horoscopes #horoscopes for the signs #virgo