#Tasha talking to herself

[joelscruff]

feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART EIGHT

previous chapters | yall are absolutely fucking incredible. truly. i never could have ever expected the response to the last chapter and i'm so so SO grateful to everyone who's been contributing their thoughts and theories over the past week. your engagement and passion for this story means the world to me. so many people wanted so many different things for this chapter and i know i can't please everybody, but i hope this satisfies most of you. thank you so much for being here and for loving this story. here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip 💕 chapter summary: you don't know what to think after catching joel at the bar. tasha wants to help in the best she knows how - getting fucked up. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: age difference (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her early 20s), innocent/inexperienced reader, praise kink, dirty talk, pet names, mentions of religion, catholic guilt, sexual assault (nothing to do w joel), alcohol, almost penetration word count: 13.6k ao3

You've never felt like this before.

Tasha practically has to drag you into a cab, gripping tight to your hand with an arm around your back as she gives the driver the address of where you're both staying. He barely bats an eye to the fact that you're practically inconsolable, tears streaming steadily down your face as you gasp and sob and stare at the floor with wide eyes. He's probably picked up countless passengers in similar situations and it's not like you can bring yourself to feel any sort of embarrassment over it.

"Shh," she soothes you, still rubbing your back and peering down at you with empathy in her eyes, an expression that somehow makes you feel even worse - she'd told you this might happen. She'd known all along, but you hadn't wanted to believe anything she said about the lack of definition in your relationship with Joel. You'd chosen to believe differently, believe that he was different than the guys your friends have encountered.

How could you have been so stupid?

It's your own fault you're even in this position now, crying in the back of a cab while Joel makes out with some woman in a bar you don't belong in. Your own fault for putting any ounce of faith in someone else for once, for choosing to be blind to the obvious - of course he doesn't want you. Of course you're not his priority. You're not his girlfriend. You're his fuck buddy. You're a warm body and nothing more.

You don't speak for the entire drive, just cry and try desperately to control your breathing. By the time you reach the Airbnb your throat hurts from the sobs, although throwing up on the sidewalk could also have something to do with it. You're just a mess, lightheaded and distant as Tasha guides you into the house and helps you settle on the couch.

"Stay here," she says softly, grabbing a throw blanket and carefully covering your loose and exhausted form, "I'm gonna go get some necessities, okay? This place doesn't have shit."

You nod slowly, just to let her know you acknowledge her words, though you're unsure exactly what necessities she's talking about. She reaches her hand down and strokes your cheek, still looking at you with that sad expression.

"I'm so sorry, honey," she repeats to you for probably the fortieth time in the past hour.

You close your eyes; you can't stand to see the pity on her face.

--

Tasha returns shortly after with her "necessities", which mainly consist of junk food and alcohol. You haven't moved an inch from where she'd left you, still laying on the couch with bloodshot eyes and a quivering mouth. You listen as she busies herself in the kitchen, putting together some sort of snack platter for the both of you that you already know you won't eat. You're not hungry. You've never been less hungry in your life.

"You were right," you finally manage to croak out as she seats herself beside you on the couch, placing the food on the coffee table and turning to you with that familiar look of pity, "He's just like the rest of them."

She shakes her head, "No, that's not true, I never said that," she rips open a bag of chips and starts munching, seemingly lost in thought.

"Oh, we're gaslighting now, are we?"

She raises an eyebrow, "Girlie, tell me when I said what you just said."

"Boys are mean," you quote hastily, turning a bit on the couch to stare up at the ceiling.

"Yes, it's true. Boys are mean. And so are men," she sighs then, dropping the chips back on the table, "Look, I'm not defending him, I promise, but-"

"Tasha," you state coldly, still staring at the ceiling, "Do not continue that sentence."

"You don't even know what I'm gonna say."

"Yes, I do," you shut your eyes and bring your hands to cover your face, feeling the tears starting up again, "You're gonna tell me we never defined what we had, that he was never my boyfriend, that this can't constitute as cheating because there was no relationship to begin with."

She's quiet but you can still feel her looking at you with that sadness, that sympathy, the look of someone who's been here before and knows how it feels. And it makes you so angry. Because-

"Joel wasn't supposed to do this," you continue, softer now, voice shaky as the tears flow down your temples and into your hair, "He's not a boy, he's not like the guys you date. He- he was different, I-" you choke, throat tightening at the thought of him, the image of him with her at the front of your mind again, "I thought he- I thought that we-"

You can't continue, words turning into cries and sniffles turning into sobs. You feel Tasha's hand on your calf, stroking your skin gently despite the fact that you just criticized both her own judgement and her taste in men in the same breath.

"I'm not trying to hurt your feelings," she says soothingly, "That's the last thing I wanna do. If anything I'm trying to tell you that this doesn't necessarily make him an asshole."

You scoff at that, "Right. Makes sense," you finally pull your hands down to look at her through your tears, brow furrowing, "Tasha he was kissing her. That- that woman, he was- he touched her face."

"I know he did," she murmurs with a frown, eyes casting downward, "And I know it hurts, but-"

"But nothing," you find yourself tossing the blanket to the floor and standing up shakily, not bothering to even look at Tasha as you stomp toward the bedroom. "I don't need this right now," is the last thing you say before slamming the door behind you.

She doesn't follow you. This is the first time you've ever yelled at her, the first time you've ever felt truly mad at her, and even though you know deep down that this isn't her fault... you still feel betrayed. Betrayed by Tasha's nonchalance, betrayed by Joel's actions, but worst of all - betrayed by yourself.

Because how did you manage to get into this mess in the first place?

You practically rip the too-tight and too-short pink dress off your body and stagger to the bed, not even bothering to pull back the covers. You still feel sick, lightheaded and woozy as you press your face to the cool pillow and try to collect yourself. You can't get the image of the woman out of your head; you hadn't even seen her face and yet it's like she's somehow consuming every fiber of your being. All you can see behind your closed lids are those long, perfectly styled braids hitting her bare waist, skin a deep and rich brown that almost sparkled under the bar lights, the way her bare ankle traveled up and down his leg, the soft curve of her cheek as he'd cupped it in his hand-

A sob wracks through you and you pull the other pillow toward yourself, wrapping your legs and arms around it like a koala, remembering how less than twenty four hours ago you'd been in a bed just like this one - except it hadn't been a pillow you were cuddling. And now, what? Who's in that bed now? Another woman? That gorgeous woman who you don't stand a chance against?

You're sure Tasha can hear you crying but she doesn't come, staying in the living room and giving you the space you need. You already feel awful for snapping at her like that - you know she means well, that she's just trying to alleviate the situation in her own way, but you barely even know how you feel about it.

And how do you feel? Hurt? Sad? Angry? Of course you feel all of those things, to a degree you've never felt them before, but underlying all of those emotions is something else entirely, something you can't quite put your finger on - or would rather not put your finger on, because doing so would mean finally admitting something you're not sure you're ready to admit yet.

You try to think about your relationship with Joel up to this point, try and pinpoint the exact moment it went from being something frivolous to being something real, but you find that it's impossible to do so. For you, you could say the moment you walked past his threshold was when it became official. Or when he touched you for the first time. Or when he kissed you. When he made you come. When he called you his babygirl. When you touched his cock. When he put his mouth on your pussy. When you woke up this morning completely naked in his bed.

Any of those moments could have been the moment. But a gnawing voice in the back of your mind reminds you that any of those moments could have equally not been the moment as well. Maybe there was no moment. Maybe this really has just been a whole lot of nothing.

But then you think about the way he looks at you. The way he treats you.

The way he'd comforted and reassured you last night, held you, made you feel safe and secure - "If you just wanna lay here with me, that's okay too."

The way he'd shared his insecurities with you over the phone, been vulnerable, honest and open - "I don't want you to look at me differently".

The way he'd dressed up just in case your mother took you to your lesson, looking like he was ready to attend a church service, purposely putting himself in uncomfortable clothing to make sure things went smoothly - "I wanted to make a good impression."

The way he'd told you about his past on his back deck, related his own childhood to yours, tried to calm your own fears and tell you things would be okay - "You gotta focus on what's right for you, on livin' the life you want, not worryin' about what they'll think".

What did any of it mean? What does any of it mean? Has it just been sex this whole time or does he actually care about you? And if he does, why would he kiss someone else?

And what if he's been kissing someone else... fucking someone else... this entire time? What if it's not just you he's been seeing? The thought makes you want to throw up all over again.

You hear a peal of laughter from the other room, a sound that feels odd in the silence and sadness of the bedroom where you lie. Tasha must have put on a movie or something. You feel bitterness rise in your throat, a sudden urge to run out to the living room and grab the remote and toss it out the window, scream at her for finding something to laugh at when you're literally falling apart at the seams.

But the bitterness fades when you hear her laugh again; you love that laugh, have missed it ever since you came home. Tasha has always had such a free and fun way about her, a natural joy that you've always envied. You'd watched her go out night after night over the past three years, come home with the most bizarre stories that you were never able to fully relate to, and yet she always tried to include you in some way, ask you questions, make you laugh.

You remember the looks of shock you'd received from the other girls when you'd first shared that you were a virgin, that you'd never done anything except kiss. She'd sensed your discomfort immediately, seen your embarrassment, and had quickly flipped the conversation to something else more shocking, more embarrassing - at her own expense. Easier than flipping a light switch. And any time it was mentioned after that, she'd always emphasize how lucky you were, how she wished she'd taken her time, how all you were missing out on was bonehead losers who didn't know how to please a woman.

She's always reassured you, always listened, and has always been your number one fan, even when you had nothing to give. You'd told her all about your upbringing, about the way you'd begun to question everything, and she'd given you her own two cents and made you feel better for the first time in a long time. And when you'd told her you were coming home for the summer she'd said, "Are you sure that's gonna be okay for you?"

You trust her. So why are you in this room avoiding her? Why aren't you listening to what she has to say?

With heavy limbs you manage to climb off the bed and tug on your pajamas, wiping your eyes and letting the sadness and humility settle for just a moment. Yes, this is a fucked up situation. But Tasha wants to help you. Let her.

A few moments later you find yourself back on the couch, this time with Tasha's arm around you as she pours you a glass of wine and shakes away your apology. "You have nothing to be sorry for," she tells you softly, "You're upset, I get it."

You sigh deeply and take a sip, wincing at the bitterness but making no move to put it back on the table. "So," you murmur hoarsely, "Why is he not necessarily an asshole?"

--

You stay up late talking for hours about the situation and listening to Tasha's theories, most of which center around a lack of communication - based on her own personal experiences. She also has to factor in the fact that Joel is a lot older, a detail she's still beyond surprised over.

"I just can't believe he's fifty six," she faux whispers the number with wide eyes, shaking her head. "Like... this man knows things. How to take care of you, ya know? You're luckier than you realize."

"Lucky," you scoff, "Yeah, that's one way to describe how it feels."

She slaps your hand playfully, "I'm serious. This is yet another reason I think you just got your signals crossed here. I refuse to believe he's trying to hurt you, especially after how considerate he's been with you up until this point. If this was just about sex he would have dropped you ages ago, honey. I mean, no offense but you're not exactly making it easy for him, are you?"

She's certainly blunt. But she's also right. Joel has been nothing but patient with you this entire time, never expecting anything more than what you've been willing to give. If it was just about sex, this thing between the two of you wouldn't have gone beyond that first day in his house when you'd told him you were a virgin.

You slowly begin to come to the conclusion that you should give him the benefit of the doubt. As much as what you saw hurts, as much as it makes you want to crawl in bed and never get up, you were never Joel's girlfriend. There was never an establishing conversation, never a moment where you laid your heart on the line and told him exactly what you wanted, mainly because you haven't been sure what you wanted up until this point. But now you do.

"Communication," Tasha repeats for maybe the fifth time, "Communication is key. He doesn't know what you want, so you need to tell him. You need to stand up for yourself. And if he doesn't take you seriously, you move on. Simple."

"Simple," you echo, your third glass of wine already getting to you as you peer at her hazily with an upturned brow, "Communication."

"Communication," she repeats, "Simple."

Communication. Simple.

It's what echoes in your head over and over after your head hits the pillow that night, and continues to repeat the following morning as Tasha rouses you from sleep to get you ready for your "lesson". You don't feel as hungover as you'd expected - "That's because we didn't get totally fucked up like we were supposed to," Tasha says to you with a roll of her eyes - but your face is puffy from all the crying.

You're splashing your face with cold water when you hear Tasha call out, "Hey, I think you have a text."

Heart pounding in your chest you run back to the bedroom and grab your phone from the nightstand, the first time you've checked it since you got back from the bar. Your eyes go wide when you see not just one but two texts from Joel. One from last night, around midnight:

Hope you're having a good night, babygirl. You deserve to have some fun. I'll see you tomorrow. Be safe.❤️

And one from this morning, around seven:

You get home ok? Let me know x

"Don't text him back," Tasha advises over your shoulder, "Keep him sweating a bit, you're leaving soon anyway."

You nod slowly, still staring at the messages, especially the one from last night. When had he sent that? Had he still been at the bar? Still with her? Did he take her home? That familiar sadness and betrayal from last night bubbles in your throat again, tears pricking in your eyes.

No. You will not cry anymore.

You let your phone fall onto the bed and turn on the spot, marching back to the bathroom like a woman on a mission.

"Tasha, make me fucking hot."

--

The Plan: Go to your lesson with Joel. Talk to him about what you saw. Tell him how you feel. And look good doing it.

Communication. Simple. It certainly seems easier said than done; you've never been very good at communication. Your whole life has been spent suppressing your true feelings and your true self for crying out loud - the concept of being completely vulnerable and honest with someone is terrifying. But you know that it's necessary for your heart, and you also know that if you're going to be able to be vulnerable with anyone, it's Joel. He's already seen glimpses of the broken parts of you, not to mention seen you completely naked. How much harder can it get?

And nothing can be worse than how you felt last night.

Tasha essentially makes you her very own doll for the majority of the morning - doing your makeup, styling your hair, choosing your outfit - and you're surprised to find that you don't hate any of it, have no notes or critiques or changes to make. You stand in the bathroom staring at yourself in the mirror with your eyebrows raised, lips parted in admiration at a job well done.

"I look good," you say with a smile, and Tasha grins at your reflection, "I mean it, Tasha. Like, I still look like me, but..."

"All I did was accentuate what you already have, my love," she replies, reaching forward to fix a piece of hair that's not sitting quite right, "You're just a gorgeous human, inside and out."

You can't help but feel touched at her words, lips turning down into a pout as your hands come up to touch your heart, "Tasha-"

She waves you away, shaking her head, "Bitch, do not get sappy on me right now. Save those doe eyes for Mr. Miller."

Twenty minutes later you're winding through the suburban streets of your neighborhood. You're about half an hour early; Tasha had wanted you to be fashionably late but there's only so much of yourself you can alter in such a short amount of time, your punctuality being one of them. You figure you'll just drive around for a bit to build up your courage, plan out your words.

Joel, I saw you at the bar last night. I saw the woman. And I'm not mad, I'm just....

Joel, my feelings were really hurt last night...

Joel, I can't believe you would kiss another woman after everything we've been doing. Do I not mean anything to you at all? Do I-

Nothing really seems like the right thing to say. You figure once you're standing in front of him the words will just come naturally, flow easily in a way that makes sense and articulates your feelings properly. You can only hope.

You've still got about fifteen minutes before your lesson but you figure there's no point in continuing to circle the area - you're just delaying the inevitable. With a heavy sigh and a few quiet words of encouragement directed at your rearview mirror, you turn onto Joel's street, gripping the wheel tightly and trying to keep your breathing as even as possible. You can do this. You can do this.

You're a few houses down from his when you see it.

Panic turns to shock. Shock turns to confusion. Confusion turns to anger. Anger turns to sadness.

You're already pressing Tasha's number in your contacts before you can fully collect your thoughts.

"What is it? Did you go in?"

"There's a car in his driveway," you hiss through your teeth, feeling the tears spring to your eyes again, your hand coming up to cover your mouth, "She stayed the fucking night, Tasha. He fucking slept with her."

"You don't know that," Tasha replies quickly, calmly, already trying to calm you down, "Maybe it's his, maybe he has another car."

"He doesn't have another car, Tasha," your voice is stoic despite the lump in your throat, "He has his truck and that's it. Joel Miller doesn't drive a purple fucking convertible."

"A purple convertible?" Tasha repeats, voice faltering now, processing the information, "Jesus Christ."

You stare at the driveway, at the car in question - you're still a few houses down so it's hard to see any specific details, but you're sure you can make out a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror inside. This is definitely not Joel's vehicle by any means. Your stomach is in knots, unsure what the fuck you're supposed to do now; you'd thought briefly of the possibility that he'd slept with her, and up until this moment you'd been prepared to hear him admit it to you. But you hadn't expected it to really be true, to almost come face to face with the woman herself.

"I don't understand," Tasha suddenly says on the other line, "He knows you're coming for your lesson, why the fuck would he still have her in the house?"

"I don't know," your voice is almost a whisper, thick with sadness and disbelief, "I- oh shit." You cut yourself off and sink deep into your front seat when you catch the front door of his house opening, eyes going wide as you watch two figures emerge out onto the front step.

"What's happening?" Tasha asks frantically - you can practically hear her pacing on the other end, "Talk to me!"

"They're coming out!" you hiss, "They're on the fucking front step."

"Oh, honey, you gotta leave. You're not gonna wanna see this, you need to just turn around and come back," her voice is full of disappointment, anger that mirrors your own, "I'm serious, this is just-"

"Shhh," you peer over the dashboard at them, squinting against the sun. You can make out Joel's broad back in the early morning light, can recognize one of his band t-shirts and his signature bedhead, pointing in all directions. You can see him, but it's difficult to make out the figure he's with, his body blocking her almost entirely from you. "I think she's leaving."

You watch with a mix of rage and horror as he suddenly leans down and wraps his arms around her, her own winding around his broad form as her hands interlock together behind his back. Your eyebrows raise in confusion, mouth dropping open.

"It's not the same woman," you whisper.

"What do you mean it's not the same woman?"

"Literally that," you breathe, shaking your head and feeling a few tears begin to make their way down your cheeks, "It's not the one from last night, it's someone else."

"How do you know?"

"Because the woman last night was black and this girl isn't, I can see her arms," you snap, a sob threatening to burst its way past your lips, "And this one's shorter, he has to bend down to hug her."

"To hug her?!" Tasha echoes, "What the fuck?"

You watch as they separate from one another, watch with rage burning in your chest as she walks down the steps toward her car. You can see her better now, get a good look at her in the few seconds it takes her to reach the driver's side door. She's wearing a pink dress, frilled at the bottom with a pair of white sandals - she looks young. You're already redacting your prior statement about her not being black - now that she's properly in view, you can see the brown softness of her skin, her afro textured hair plaited neatly into two rows. But it's not the same woman.

"So, what, he had two girls in one night? Is that what you're telling me?" Tasha is saying in your ear while you continue to stare at the woman, watch her open the car door and climb inside with one last wave to Joel, "Hello?"

"I - I don't know. I'm-" you watch Joel wave to her and then head back inside the house, presumably to wait for you to arrive. Your stomach is tight and painful, bile in your throat all over again. "You were right," you whisper, tears cascading down onto your bare legs, "I didn't need to see this."

--

So much for not crying anymore.

You're back on the couch again, wrapped up like a burrito staring at the wall while Tasha paces back and forth around the living room in front of you, talking a mile a minute.

"It was a whole different story when it was just the one girl," she's ranting, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed in anger, "But two? Two girls. In one fucking night. And one of them is half his age," she scoffs, almost a growl, "So what, he just does this in his spare time? Fucks around with girls' hearts and bodies and then acts like some tough, macho contractor with a busy schedule? Please."

You don't need to remind her that you're also half his age - you know she'd come up with a reason why you're different, why you're the exception. And you do appreciate that, but the more she talks the more you're starting to realize that maybe that's never been the case. Maybe you weren't some beautiful coincidence that wandered into Joel's life - maybe he's been doing this for a long time.

Your gaze follows her as she walks around, pacing the same circle over and over again around the coffee table; it's typical Tasha - you've seen her do this on numerous occasions before, but never on your behalf. Your phone suddenly vibrates on the table and your heads both snap toward it, plunging the room into silence. You already know it's him - who else would be texting you this early? You reach over and unlock it, eyes scanning the message:

Where are you?

"He's wondering why I haven't shown up," you say quietly, voice still hoarse from all the crying.

"What a fucking prick. Do not reply," she resumes her pacing, "Two girls the night before he's supposed to have a date with you. Who does that? Who actually does that? Men, that's who. Men do that. I'm swearing off them forever after this. Seriously, I mean it. What the fuck."

You appreciate her concern, appreciate that she's no longer arguing on Joel's behalf, but her words cut you deep regardless. The whole situation still feels surreal. How is it that just over twenty four hours ago he was kissing you softly, sweetly, peering at you with those beautiful brown eyes and telling you he had something special planned for your lesson? What had he wanted to try, a fucking threesome?

"I don't know him at all," you whisper softly, sadly, "I never did. He's a stranger. A complete stranger who I was stupid enough to trust."

Your words seem to touch something in Tasha. She stops her pacing, slowly turns toward you with that empathetic look again and then carefully steps toward the couch, sitting down on the end.

"He just... he was there," you continue, lip trembling, "My parents were being so controlling and I was literally thinking about just... just leaving, finding some way to get back to campus without them knowing and then I heard that fucking guitar and-" you hiccup through a sob, clutching your hand to your chest, "I should've known then. I should've just kept walking. He asked me to come in, Tasha. He wanted to fuck me, then and there. And when I said no I guess I... I became some sort of challenge. Just a stupid, naïve little Catholic girl he could fuck and dump. And I fell for it, hook line and sinker."

She places a hand on your calf, just like she had last night, stroking gently up and down, "You're not stupid," she murmurs, "You're just a girl. A girl experiencing something really special for the first time. And I'm sorry he took that experience from you."

You manage to smile at her, soft and sincere. Despite everything, it feels good to have a friend, to not be alone when you're feeling like this. To be validated and comforted. You have no idea how you'd be processing all of this without Tasha by your side, if you'd have even been able to leave your bed this morning.

"This is so not what I wanted this weekend to be," she suddenly sighs, putting her head in her hands, "I wanted you to have fun, be free. And here you are feeling like shit about yourself. It's not fair."

She's right. It's not fair.

You take a deep breath, then carefully pry yourself out from underneath your blanket, rolling off the couch and coming to stand in front of Tasha with a determined expression on your face.

"You didn't dress me to the nines just for me to cry and feel sorry for myself on the couch," you say confidently, doing your best to wipe away your tears without completely smearing away Tasha's hard work, "I don't wanna think about Joel anymore. I don't wanna cry about Joel anymore. You know what I wanna do?"

She looks up at you, a grin slowly spreading across her face, "Go have fun and be free?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

--

You never thought you'd be the kind of person to go day drinking, but here you are. Tasha had fixed your makeup and then gotten all dolled up herself, ready for a whole day of doing exactly what you'd both set out to do this weekend: have fun.

Your first stop is a little bistro within walking distance of the Airbnb; you already know that neither of you will be fit to drive by the time this is all over, so you stick to places that are relatively close to the house. As you sip your cocktails and dig into a plate of sandwiches, Tasha informs you that she'd purposely booked this house in particular because of its proximity to the local club scene - you're not surprised in the slightest.

Your phone vibrates a few times while you're eating but you don't check it, forcing yourself to avoid reading anything else Joel has to say to you. It's only when it actually rings, two cocktails deep and plate empty, that you briefly consider picking it up.

"Nope," Tasha says, grabbing the phone from you and canceling the call before you can answer, "No more Joel today, we agreed."

"No more Joel," you repeat, nodding. You let her slip your phone into her own purse after putting it on silent - you know she'll keep it safe, and you know it's for the best.

--

You spend the majority of the afternoon popping in and out of local bars and boutiques, shopping and chatting to your hearts content as your body adjusts to the constant thrum of alcohol running through your system, making your head a bit foggy in the best way. It's like nothing really matters except this moment, right now, the beat of live music here and there as the sun gets lower in the sky, the conversations drifting past, the smell of food wafting out of restaurants. Tasha is a constant presence at your side, arm linked with yours as she dishes on all the drama of her life you've missed thus far this summer.

You don't think about Joel.

It's obvious throughout your little adventures throughout the day that people - particularly men - gravitate to Tasha very easily. You're not sure if it's simply because of how gorgeous she is - all curves and plump lips and dark curls down to her waist, purple cowboy hat askew above her perfectly applied makeup - or because she's simply a light. She's so bubbly and completely herself, smiling and laughing and dancing, never apologetic or ashamed. It feels good to have a girl like that in your corner, helping you out of your shell, only wanting what's best for you.

You realize as the day passes that you're beginning to mimic her behavior a bit. Whether it's due to the alcohol or your admiration for her, you're not sure, but either way you can feel yourself loosening up, allowing yourself to be more uninhibited, less insecure, not caring if people are looking at you. And people are definitely starting to look at you.

"Dude over there is staring at you," Tasha says quietly to you as you sip margaritas on the back deck of a country bar. You're now wearing her cowboy hat, stolen it after what can only be described as a predictable turn of events where she'd rode the mechanical bull and lost it in one particularly hard buck. You'd picked it up off the floor and placed it on your head, laughing hysterically as the bull threatened to launch Tasha across the room.

"Where?" your eyes go wide as you take a long sip, waiting for her to point him out. She nods at something behind you and you do your best to slowly turn around, not wanting to be too obvious. In your drunken state, however, it's not very smooth. You almost topple off the chair as you spin in place to find who she's talking about.

Through your laughter you spot him. Typical young Texan - floppy blonde hair and a strong jawline, sun-kissed skin and a white smile that practically glimmers against the sunset. He nods to you when he sees you looking, tilts his head to the side a bit and winks.

You turn back to Tasha, shaking your head, "He is not looking at me," you feel your skin heating up, not just from the alcohol, "There's no way."

"He is looking at you," Tasha reiterates, placing her empty glass down on the table, "You're fucking hot."

Your mind can't help but flash back to freshman year, that godforsaken party when another boy with a similar appearance had looked your way. The hope you'd felt, the desire, the confidence... all of it fading when he approached and chose your friend to talk to instead, not even bothering to glance your way despite standing right there beside her. You can't help but worry that it's happening all over again.

But then you hear a deep voice behind you, southern and sexy: "Pardon me, but I just had to tell you, I think you're the prettiest girl I ever saw."

Your eyes widen and you spin back around, still half expecting him to be talking to Tasha, not you, but his green eyes connect with yours instead. His gaze holds you there, your lips parting with no words coming out as you stare up at him in shock.

"She was just telling me that you're not so bad yourself," Tasha offers with a smile, nudging you under the table with her heel, "Right?"

"R-right," you manage to stammer out, still staring open-mouthed at this gorgeous specimen that has somehow decided that you're the girl he wants to talk to right now. The prettiest girl he ever saw.

He smiles at that, toothy and beautiful, "I'm Noah," he puts his hand out for you to take and you do, grasping it tightly and trying to hold on to the reality of this moment, the way his soft skin feels against yours, the way your brain is buzzing with amazement - and tequila.

Tasha's foot hits your ankle again and you quickly splutter out your name, releasing his hand and awkwardly placing yours back in your lap. You feel the bare skin of your thigh and you're suddenly hyperaware of how exposed you are right now - this dress certainly doesn't leave much up to the imagination. Your thighs and breasts are practically spilling out of it, pink material clinging to your body. But he isn't looking at any of that - he's looking at your face.

"It's real nice to meet you," he says with another smile, "Can I buy you a drink?" he suddenly looks at Tasha, like he's only just remembered she's sitting there, "And one for your friend too, of course."

"She'd love one," Tasha answers for you, nudging her arm against yours gently, "We'll both have another margarita."

Noah nods once, sets his gaze to your face again with a smile, then disappears inside the bar to go order the drinks.

The second he's gone it's like you're released from some sort of spell he'd put you under. Your heart is suddenly pounding in your chest, breaths coming shorter as you turn to Tasha with utter horror.

"What happened to swearing off all men?" you hiss, brow furrowing.

"Please, Noah isn't a man, he's a boy," she scoffs with a smile, twirling her hair between her fingers, "And I know alllll about boys."

--

You don't know how it happens, somehow lost the plot about halfway into your second margarita, but Noah is going to the club with you.

You are drunk. You know this for a fact. You hadn't been expecting to already feel this fucked up upon setting foot in the club but here you are, Tasha on one arm and Noah on the other. Tasha's had just as much to drink as you but doesn't seem anywhere near as intoxicated as you feel, continuing to be her excitable self when the bass drops and the neon lights start to dance across her skin. She's stolen back her cowboy hat but you've somehow gained your own - you think it might be Noah's.

"LET'S DANCE!" she screeches, pulling you away from Noah and dragging you onto the dance floor. You watch with slightly blurred vision as he goes in the opposite direction, toward the bar, probably to order more drinks.

The music is loud, the dance floor full of people, bodies swaying back and forth, people jumping up and down, grinding on one another, screaming conversations over the heavy bass. The lights are bright and it feels like all of your senses have been heightened, like you can feel, taste, see, and hear everything in your immediate vicinity to the utmost degree. Your heart is pounding in your chest, but you can feel it in other places too - your feet, your kneecaps, your skin.

"I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG!" Tasha screams to you, throwing her hands up in the air and spinning on the spot, smile wide and joyous as she starts to dance, "DANCE WITH ME, COME ON!"

Your senses are overloading but you try your best to match her energy, copy her movements, focus on just this instead of everything else that's going on around you. This is what you've been missing all these years; this is what you've been waiting to experience. Enjoy it. You let your inhibitions flow and just exist in this moment, having fun with your best friend, far away from anyone who would ever judge you for being here. Far away from your parents and your neighbors and Bethany and -

No. You do not think about Joel.

You and Tasha dance to about three songs before she's tugging you away from the dance floor and over to the bar, back to where Noah is leaning with a beer bottle perched against his lips. He smiles when he sees you approaching, gestures to the little mini drinks beside him, small enough to only have about a thumb of liquid in each.

"Shots!" Tasha squeals, clapping her hands together, "Shots, shots, shots!" She picks one up and hands it to you, then grabs her own, "Come on, Noah, do one with us!"

Noah still can't seem to keep his eyes off you, though you've begun to notice that he's no longer just looking at your face anymore. This time his eyes fall to your breasts as he puts down his beer bottle and replaces it with one of the shot glasses, gaze falling down to your legs before finding your eyes again.

You catch a glint of something darker there, something seductive, and as you bring the glass to your lips you're suddenly aware that beneath the alcohol you feel a bit... uneasy.

--

You're fucked up. You're really fucked up.

Tasha doesn't leave your side, something you're extremely grateful for. You're starting to have difficulty seeing straight, even walking is becoming confusing, let alone dancing. You grip Tasha's shoulders tightly on the dance floor as you both sway to the music, unsure exactly how long it's been since you arrived at the club. She's looking at you with hazy eyes, much drunker now than she was earlier, and your very intoxicated brain is wondering if you're actually going to leave at some point or whether you're just stuck here for the rest of eternity.

You can feel Noah against your back. He's grinding against you to the song, hands on your hips as his groin presses firmly into your ass. It's weird, being in a Tasha-Noah sandwich that you didn't really sign up for. You're too drunk to really know what you want, actually. You feel fine having Tasha this close, feel safe in her embrace, but Noah's presence is starting to make you feel a bit uncomfortable.

"I'm really drunk," you slur, but it's too quiet for either Tasha or Noah to hear you. Tasha just nods as if she understands, head tilting back and mouth popping open as another song begins. She mouths something, probably I love this song, something she's said about ten times tonight.

Noah pulls you in closer, almost like he's tugging you away from Tasha, but your voice is too faint under the music for your protests to be heard. His arms come up to wrap around your middle, and you feel the unmistakable shape of his cock dip down between your cheeks through your dress. At first you think maybe it's unintentional, but then he does it again, and again, like he's using your body to get himself off. On the fucking dance floor.

"Let go of me," you breathe, but it's lost to the music. You watch as Tasha gets further away, your arms dropping completely from her shoulders as she turns and starts to spin on the spot, still staring up at the ceiling, unaware of what's happening. "Stop," you mumble, feeling his clothed cock rub against you again, a sensation you're now familiar with but certainly not in this context. And certainly not with someone who isn't Joel Miller.

The thought of Joel is what does it.

"STOP," you practically scream, yanking yourself away from him and taking a few heavy steps back, shaking your head frantically, "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME."

A few people are turning to look and Noah seems more than embarrassed, hands going up quickly. He's drunk too, you can see it in his face, in his eyes, but you already know he's certainly not the harmless young Texan you thought he was. That feeling of unease earlier sure as hell hadn't been the alcohol talking.

You feel a hand at your waist and you flinch but only for a second, gaze coming to rest on Tasha who's now standing beside you with a look of pure horror on her face.

"What'd he do?" she asks, voice panicked and quick, almost like she's not even drunk anymore, "Are you okay?"

You nod but you can feel tears in your eyes, threatening to spill over at any second. Your ears are ringing like they had last night, but it's different this time, almost like you're underwater as Tasha grips your arm and leads you toward the front of the club, away from the loud music and drunk people. Away from Noah.

"Oh my fucking god, I am so sorry," her voice is shaking with emotion when you get out onto the street, hand holding tight to your arm, "I didn't even notice what he was doing. Jesus fucking Christ," she pulls out her phone and dials the number for a cab - through your bleary eyes you see a few teardrops dribble down the bridge of her nose, "We're going home, I'm so sorry, honey."

"S'okay," you manage to garble out through your tears, flowing heavily now in your drunken state, "It happened really fast."

"Doesn't make it okay," she replies, bringing the phone to her ear.

No, it doesn't.

--

"I want Joel," you whisper through your tears once you're settled in the back seat of the cab, Tasha beside you with her hand resting soothingly on your arm.

"What, honey?" Tasha asks softly, "Say it again, can't hear you."

"I want Joel," you repeat, words slurred as your hands come up to cover your face, "I don't wanna go home. I want Joel."

"We can't go to Joel's," Tasha murmurs, stroking your arm, "It's almost three in the morning, he's asleep."

"I want Joel," you repeat, "I wanna see him."

"I need an address," the cab driver says over his shoulder; he's already started running the meter, "Don't got all night, girls."

Before Tasha can say anything you're spluttering out Joel's address through a sob. Tasha starts to protest but you shake your head furiously, tears scattering everywhere, "I'll just walk," you mumble adamantly, "If you change it I'll just get out and walk."

"But-"

"You owe me," you practically spit, "You owe me after what just happened." You don't mean it, but your brain is nowhere near sober enough to fully realize that. And neither is hers.

She doesn't say anything else.

--

It's very strange being back in your neighborhood not sober. Your mind is still ridiculously fuzzy from the alcohol but part of you is able to acknowledge how crazy it is that you're back here so late at night in such a drunken state, driving through the dark streets while your parents are none the wiser. The cab passes by your house and you find yourself ducking down into the seat, afraid they might see you despite it being almost three o'clock in the morning.

"Can you just keep the meter running?" Tasha asks the cab driver quietly as you approach Joel's house, "I'm not staying, I just wanna make sure she gets in okay and that someone's here to help her."

"You're not coming in," you mutter, voice still slurred and heavy. You don't look at her as you say it.

"I'll just wait in the car for a few minutes then," she says quietly, just as the cab comes to a stop in Joel's driveway.

His truck is here, just like this morning. Except this time there's no purple convertible blocking him in, no other woman standing on the front step hugging him, waving to him.

Anger rises in your chest at the memory.

"I still don't think this is a good idea," Tasha says softly - what happened earlier has clearly sobered her up, almost no trace of drunkenness in her speech, "He's asleep, there aren't any lights on."

"Then I'll wake him up," you mumble, opening the car door and stepping out into the cool night air.

"I'll wait here for a few-," she calls out to you but you slam the door before she can finish her sentence.

You're not sure why you're suddenly being so mean to her. That is, until you stagger up Joel's front steps and feel even more rage bubbling inside you at the thought of standing where he'd stood this morning, where she'd stood this morning. Where the woman from the bar had probably stood too. Oh. You're an angry drunk.

Without any hesitation you push down on the doorbell. You don't bother to wait in silence; you just keep pushing it and pushing it over and over, hearing the dull sound of the bell dinging inside the house. You're vaguely aware of a light being turned on behind the frosted glass as you lean your hand against the door, suddenly feeling dizzy now that you're standing again.

The door opens and you practically fall through it, squinting against the sudden bright light and bringing your hands up to your face as you stagger inside. You feel someone catch you, big hands coming to rest atop both of your arms, and then your name being said in a deep voice, husky with sleep.

Joel.

"Are you okay?" he asks somewhere above you; your ears are ringing again and his voice is loud and muffled, that underwater feeling coming back. You try to mumble something but it comes out an incoherent garble.

You feel him pull you inside, hear the door shut behind you as he kicks it closed with his foot. He guides you inside the living room and your eyes shut tightly against the brightness of the overhead light, shining down on top of you like a spotlight.

"Too bright," you manage to mumble out, bringing your hands up to cover your face. You find yourself being seated on the couch before the light is switched off, plunging you both into total darkness.

"Baby, what happened?" you hear him ask, voice still swimming thickly through your muted ears, "I've been so fuckin' worried about you, where've you been? Where'd you go?" you feel his hands take yours, gripping them tightly. They're so rough and callused, nothing at all like Noah's, and it makes you smile.

"Feels nice," you mutter, already forgetting what he asked you.

"What'd you take?" he asks, and you suddenly realize that there's a very frantic edge to his voice, thick with worry and... fear? "Huh? Tell me what you took so I can help."

"D-didn't take anything," you hiccup, shaking your head slowly.

"Christ, babygirl," he mutters, squeezing your hands again, "Where were you? I called you so many times, I texted you, I-"

"Tasha's got my phone," you mumble.

"Where's Tasha? She alright?"

"In the cab."

"Jesus," he releases your hand and stands up, turns on a dim lamp in the corner of the room so you're not in total darkness anymore. You watch with hooded eyes as he opens the front door again, walks out onto the step and starts gesturing something into the darkness. He looks ridiculous, waving his arms like that - it makes you giggle.

He turns around and walks back over to you with long strides. You can see his face more clearly now, expression lined with worry. He looks tired. He probably is.

"Just wanted you," you mutter, staring at him.

Before he can say anything Tasha is suddenly walking in through the door, expression stoic as she passes the threshold. She avoids Joel's gaze completely, looking only at you.

"What the fuck happened?" Joel asks her, any sort of introductory pleasantries gone out the window, "Where's she been? What'd she take?"

"Nice to meet you too," Tasha grumbles, hitching her purse over her shoulder and walking over to where you sit on the couch, "She's fine, we went clubbing and she got drunk. I'll take her back."

"No you fuckin' won't," he says indignantly, moving to stand directly in front of you with his arms crossed, "How could you let this happen to her? She's never done shit like this before, you know that right? She's never been drunk in her fuckin' life and you bring her back like this? You ever heard of takin' it fuckin' slow?"

"Oh please, like I'm gonna take advice from you," she snaps back, walking around him and reaching down to take your hand, "Come on, honey, we need to go. Now."

"She's not goin' with you, she's stayin' here," his voice is loud, louder than you've ever heard it. In fact, you don't think you've ever seen him mad before. It's strange, seeing the way his eyes narrow, his mouth downturned into an angry frown, fists tight against his chest.

"I only brought her here because she said she'd jump out and walk if I didn't," Tasha argues, voice firm, "She's safe with me."

"Safe, huh?" he scoffs, "So why the fuck do you have her phone? Do you know how many times I've tried to call her in the past fuckin' twelve hours? I was this close to callin' the fuckin' police."

"If anyone here needs the fucking police called on them it's you," Tasha's voice is louder now, every word echoing in your brain, "Fucking creep."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?"

Your drunken brain can't process much of what's going on at all, both Tasha and Joel's voices blending into one constant loud noise. You bring your hands up to your head and cover your ears, though it can only do so much to block out their voices. What they're saying still manages to come through, albeit muffled and distant.

"You heard what I said. Fucking. Creep." Tasha repeats, "She knows what you've been doing, you asshole."

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"What, don't have the balls to admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"Stop," you say loudly, bringing your hands down from your ears, "Stop yelling, you're hurting my head."

Joel crouches down, picks up your hands and takes them in his again, peering into your eyes. You can't see him properly anymore and you hate it, can only make out bits and pieces as your eyesight just continues to get worse the longer you sit here. You feel sleepy, almost like you're on the edge of unconsciousness.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, thumbs stroking yours gently, "I'm sorry, babygirl. I'll stop yellin'."

You close your eyes, nodding and breathing deeply in and out, loving the feeling of having him touching you again. It's almost like last night didn't happen, like this morning didn't happen.

Last night. This morning.

You suddenly yank your hands away from him, eyes going wide as you remember exactly why you're even here in the first place, why you wanted to get fucked up to begin with. His face comes back into view again, expression confused.

"I know what you've been doing," you hiss, echoing Tasha's words and scooting away from him. You reach your hand up for her to take and she grips it tightly, helping you get up.

"Babygirl," he says softly, brown eyes tender and soft as he eases himself up from the floor, "I don't know what you're talkin' about."

"We saw you," Tasha says then, linking her arm with yours, "At the bar last night." She means business now, you can hear it in her voice, "We saw you kiss someone else."

His expression changes instantly. Worry, anger, concern... all of it gone in a single second.

"That's what I thought," Tasha says firmly, then carefully eases you out of the living room, walks with you as far as the porch before you hear Joel speak.

His voice is quiet, shaky, "It's not what you think."

"Then what is it, exactly?" Tasha turns then, rounding on him again while you cling to her arm, "You're not playing her? You didn't waste weeks of her life making her feel special only for it to turn out you're just like the rest of them?"

He doesn't say anything and you can't bring yourself to look at him, heart in your throat and tears in your eyes once again as you stare at the hardwood floor.

"I didn't... that's not what..." he finally breathes, "It's not what you think. That's all I can say."

"That's all you can say?"

"Well, I can hardly fuckin' explain myself when she won't remember it, can I?" his voice is raw, hitching on the last few words, "Nothin'... nothin' happened other than some kissin'. It didn't go any further, I swear."

"And I'm just supposed to believe you?"

"I'm not askin' you to believe me," he breathes, "But that's the truth. That's the fuckin' truth, swear on my life."

"And what about the girl she saw leaving this morning?"

He's quiet again for a moment. You're still afraid to look at him, can barely even comprehend that this conversation is even really happening right now.

"That was - Jesus, I never wanted you to find out like this," he mutters, and Tasha laughs without humor.

"Yeah, you thought it'd just stay your little secret, huh?" It's hard to believe she's had just as much to drink as you have tonight - you wouldn't know it by the way she handles herself now, the way she speaks to Joel like she already knows him. She's done this before. She's no stranger to confronting men who did her wrong, or in this case, her friend.

"That was my daughter," he says softly.

Tasha freezes.

The words do their best to seep into your skin, to make their way into the sober depths of your brain that lie dormant, somewhere hidden. You still feel so fuzzy, bleary eyed and heavy and confused, but the words register somehow.

You slowly unhook your arm from Tasha's to finally look up from the floor, moving your gaze to Joel's still form. He's standing there by the couch, arms still crossed across his chest but not angry anymore, a look of pure sadness and shame on his face. He looks small.

"Y-you have a daughter?" you whisper.

"Yes," he replies softly, eyes slowly lifting to meeting yours, "And the woman at the bar, that was her mother. My ex wife." You see tears shining in his eyes, watch as his lip trembles as he softly whispers, "And I swear - I swear it never went further than some kisses. And it won't go any further than that ever again."

You feel Tasha reach down and squeeze your hand. What she's trying to communicate to you, you're not sure. You just stand there staring at him, unable to process this information in your current state, head swimming and ears still ringing.

"I'll tell you everything," he continues quietly, taking a slow step toward you, "When you're feelin' better, I swear. Anythin' you wanna know, I'll tell you." He takes another few steps until he's standing directly in front of you and Tasha, leaning down so he can peer directly into your eyes, "I'm so sorry it happened this way," he whispers, "I never thought - Jesus, I'm just so fuckin' sorry."

You swallow tightly around the lump in your throat, completely unsure of how you feel, of what you're supposed to say or do. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is computing properly.

"You need to take her home," he murmurs, pulling back and turning his attention to Tasha, "Look, I'm sorry for-"

"No, I'm sorry," she suddenly breathes, "I was- wow, that's... I mean, I wasn't expecting that. I'm sorry. I just, I thought-"

"It's okay," he replies, voice still a bit stiff, "Just get her back safe, okay? She's-" he cuts himself off to look at you again, eyes peering down at you sadly. "She's special."

Tasha nods, "I know she is."

The last thing you remember, the last thing that's at least semi-clear in your mind, is the soft look of affection on his face as he stands on his doorstep and watches you go.

--

You're not sure exactly what time it is when you wake up on Sunday. The only thing you're sure of is that your head is pounding and the sun streaming through the window is only making it worse. You roll over in bed and press your face into the pillow with a low moan.

You're never drinking that much ever again.

There's movement beside you and you open your eyes briefly to see Tasha laying in a similar position, still in her dress from yesterday, face smooshed into her own pillow. You can't remember how you got back, memories extremely hazy and shrouded completely in too much alcohol. The last thing you can remember is being at Joel's house, of the brief conversation he had with Tasha, the words he'd said to you...

My ex wife.

It never went further than some kisses.

That was my daughter.

Now that your brain isn't under the influence, you can finally think straight, can finally process everything he said to you last night. Or at least what you can remember. You roll over again with another moan, sensing nausea in the pit of your stomach.

"The hangover is the worst part," Tasha mumbles, and you turn your head to see her looking at you through messy mascara, smudged and smeared all over her eyes, "But you'll be okay."

You stare at her for a few seconds, everything else from the night before slowly coming back to you in bits and pieces. The club, Noah, the way you'd snapped at her...

"I'm so sorry," you whisper, "Tasha, I was so fucking mean to you."

The part of her lips that you can see curve upward into a smile and she shakes her head slowly, "It's all water under the bridge, babe," she murmurs, voice still heavy with sleep, "You had every right."

"No, I didn't. That stuff with Noah, that wasn't your fault."

"I should've known better than to invite him along," she sighs deeply, "I just wanted you to have fun, you know? I wanted you to forget about..." she trails off, biting her lip.

"I know," you breathe, "And I did, for a while. You couldn't have known about Noah, he certainly had me fooled."

She nods, closing her eyes and nuzzling the pillow a bit. You both lay there in silence, the elephant in the room growing bigger and bigger the longer you go without talking about it.

"So, Joel's got a daughter," you finally whisper, "And an ex wife."

She opens her eyes again, raising an eyebrow, "I'm surprised you remember that. You were pretty fucked up."

You wince, "Did I completely embarrass myself?"

"No, not at all," her hand comes up to touch your shoulder gently, thumbing the skin there, "You stood your ground, you did good. And now... now we know the truth."

"The truth," you echo.

More silence. It's like neither of you really knows what to say to the other. You're sure Tasha has already formulated her own opinion, has probably known since last night exactly how she feels about the whole thing. And that scares you a bit - because what if she doesn't feel the same way you do?

And how exactly do you feel about it anyway?

"I think he texted you again a little while ago," she finally says softly, pointing toward your phone on the night stand, "I heard it when I got up to use the bathroom. And there's a lot of texts there from yesterday. He, uh-" she bites her lip, "He was really worried about you, honey."

You reach over and pick up your phone, taking a deep breath before unlocking it and looking at the damage: 9 texts. 18 missed calls.

Shit. You suppose it makes sense. The last time you'd talked to him was on Friday morning in his kitchen, when you'd told him you were planning on going out with Tasha and having a girl's weekend, finally having your college experiences. He hadn't known anything that happened between then and last night, hadn't known you'd seen him at the bar, that you'd gone to his house on Saturday morning and left again, not giving him any explanation as to why you hadn't shown up for your lesson. To him, it had just been complete radio silence.

With a shaky finger you press his name, heart pounding as the unanswered text messages flood your screen. First, the three you've already seen:

Hope you're having a good night, babygirl. You deserve to have some fun. I'll see you tomorrow. Be safe.❤️

You get home ok? Let me know x

Where are you?

And everything else:

???

Hey, I'm worried about you. Give me a call or a text ok?

Please call me.

I'm outta my mind over here baby. Please let me know you're alright.

I'm scared for you. Last I heard you were going out with your friend and then nothing since. Please call.

Just a text is all I need honey. I promise. If you're not feeling this anymore that's okay. Just wanna know you got home safe last night.

I'm so worried about you. I can't sleep. Please call me.

I don't know what to do angel. Can't stop thinking about you. Wish you were here in my arms. Please be safe.

Please.

The most recent text was sent this morning, around ten:

I'm so sorry. Words can't even describe how fucking ashamed and embarrassed I am. I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore, but I want to tell you everything, if you'll let me. I hope you're feeling okay today, angel. Drink lots of water, stay with Tasha. Text me whenever you're ready.

"Did you read these?" you ask Tasha softly, eyes unmoving from the last text, scanning the words over and over.

"No," she replies, "Just saw the notifications."

You scroll back up and read them again, and again, like you'll somehow be able to rewind time if you just keep reading them. You can't believe there's this many, can't believe that the man who'd been so distant the past week is the same man who sent you all of these.

The same man with a whole other life he never told you about.

"What do I do?" you whisper.

Tasha sighs, then carefully pulls herself up to lean against the headboard, crossing her legs and looking over at you, "What do you wanna do?"

You lock your phone again and sit up beside her, exhaling deeply, "I don't know."

You both sit there in silence for a few moments, lost in thought. You can't explain it but you feel nowhere near as betrayed or angry as you'd felt yesterday. Rage is no longer present - and neither is sadness. The only way you can describe how you feel is... relieved.

"He has a daughter and an ex wife," you state.

"He does."

"He has a daughter and an ex wife," somehow saying it again makes it feel more real, but the words still don't trigger any strong emotions. You sigh and look at Tasha, urging her to say something else.

"So, other than that, what's changed?" she asks.

You bite your lip and turn away from her again, shrugging your shoulders slowly, "I mean, that's... that's a lot."

"It is," she agrees softly, "It is a lot."

You swallow, fingers playing with the edge of your dress, reminding you that you're still wearing the same outfit from yesterday. God, you need a shower. You need to wash this entire experience off of you.

"You remember where we landed Friday night?" Tasha asks suddenly, "We talked about the possibility of him kissing someone else and we agreed that communication was the way to go, right?"

"That was before we knew he had a daughter and an ex wife, Tasha."

"Yeah, well... now we do know. And we know he's willing to talk to you about it," she twists her mouth in thought, "So do you wanna talk to him about it?"

"...I don't know."

She suddenly eases herself off the bed, stretching her arms above her head and yawning loudly. You watch as she assesses her pillow, grimaces at the dark makeup stains on the white cotton.

"I'm scared," you admit softly, avoiding her gaze.

"What are you scared of?"

You don't know how to answer that, biting your lip and sniffling a bit. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them and leaning your face into your warm skin.

"You're falling in love with him, aren't you?" she asks quietly, absolutely no judgement in her voice, "That's it, isn't it? You're really starting to fall and that's why you're scared."

You can't speak, unable to say anything because you know you'll burst into tears if you do. Instead, you nod your head slowly, up and down against your knees.

"Then you gotta talk to him, honey," she kneels down on the bed, places her hand on your shoulder soothingly, "You gotta hear what he has to say."

You groan, bringing your hands up to cover your face as you stretch out your legs again, turning on the bed and scooching downward to smoosh your face back into the pillow.

"I'm gonna take a shower," Tasha murmurs softly, "I feel disgusting."

"Welcome to the club," you mumble into the pillow.

You're vaguely aware of Tasha moving around you, grabbing things from the nightstand and puttering around the room as she gets ready for her shower. You sense her standing close to you for a bit longer than necessary, like she's just staring at you without really knowing what to say. With a roll of your eyes you turn to face her, and you catch the briefest moment that she places your phone back down on the nightstand.

Your brow furrows, "What are you doing with my phone?"

"Nothing," she says quickly, turning around and leaving the room without another word.

--

You fall back to sleep without meaning to, and when you wake again, it's only because you hear someone talking in the other room, someone with a deep voice. Tasha must be watching a movie. You curl in on yourself a bit, rubbing your eyes and wincing when you feel the makeup smudge across your face. You really should get up and shower.

You suddenly hear footsteps in the hallway, getting closer. But there's something different about them, something heavy in the way they sound against the floorboards.

The door opens and there's just silence for a few seconds, no movement. Then the footsteps return, closer now, slow and unsure.

You know it's him before his weight sinks into the bed.

Oh, Tasha. Of course you did.

You close your eyes as you feel his arms snake around you from behind. You allow him to pull you in close, feel his nose against the back of your neck, his scruff against your shoulder. He smells like his cologne, feels warm and solid against your back, the denim of his jeans brushing against your bare legs.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers.

You immediately turn within his embrace, coming face to face with the man who you've spent the past twenty four hours hating, being angry at, feeling betrayed by - he's looking at you with a tenderness you can't describe, lips downturned into a soft frown that says everything. He's upset. He's ashamed. He's sorry.

"Why did you kiss her?" you whisper.

He takes a breath, "We have this... arrangement," he murmurs, "We've had it for years. Whenever she's in town - which isn't very often, maybe once every three years or so - we sleep together. It's been goin' on for over twenty years now, it's just.. it's just what we do."

You nod slowly, eyes falling to his mouth and then back to his eyes, "But you didn't this time."

"We didn't," he breathes, "I swear to you, we didn't. We went back to my place, we... we were kissin'," he winces but doesn't close his eyes, keeping his gaze on you, "I.. I went to grab a condom out of my bedside table before things got heavy and I-" he cuts himself off, taking another breath.

"What?"

You watch as he reaches down into his pocket, fishes something out. He brings his hand up and extends his fingers, shows you what's sitting in the palm of his hand.

Your crucifix.

"I saw this," he breathes, "And all of a sudden, I just... I just knew I couldn't."

You stare at the gold cross, watch it glint in the sunlight still cascading through the windows. His breath hitches and your gaze goes back to his face, the lines and wrinkles and grey whiskers, his soft brown eyes and curved nose.

"I understand if you can't forgive me," he whispers, tears shining in his eyes, "I don't expect you to, but I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry that I did."

He closes his fist around the crucifix again and slowly brings it downward to your own hand, urging you to open it. He slips the chain past your fingers, goes to pull his hand away, but you stop him. You grip his hand tightly, the cross digging into both of your palms.

"We never established anything," you whisper softly, "We... we've never said that we're anything. It's just been sex."

He doesn't say anything, eyelashes fanning over his cheeks as he waits for you to speak again. He's so handsome, so unreal in a way that doesn't make sense to you, and probably never will.

"I wanna be yours," you breathe, meeting his gaze, "I don't want you to be with anyone else."

He leans forward to gently brush his nose to yours, eyes closing as he breathes deeply, the tears spilling over onto his cheeks.

"Okay," he whispers.

You know there's more for him to explain, so many more details you don't have yet that you do want to know. But in this moment, you don't care about any of it. You just want him.

It doesn't take long for you both to be completely undressed, clothes tossed over the sides of the bed as your naked bodies press warmly up against each other, soft and eager. He presses kisses to your neck, breathes you in, runs his fingers through your hair as he hovers above you with absolute need in his eyes, a look you're sure mirrors your own.

He knows you're still not ready without you having to say it. Knows this isn't the right time. There's no need for any words of reassurance or any questions. He knows what you need. You know what he needs.

His cock moves firmly down against your tummy beneath the sheets, his shaft settling perfectly against your pussy, already wet and aching for him like it had been the second he walked into the room. He puts both hands above your head, leans down to kiss you as he drags himself up and down within your folds, up and down, up and down.

It feels incredible, just having the thick length of him rubbing back and forth against your clit, the wide head catching at your entrance every now and then, eliciting a deep groan from Joel and soft whimpers from you. You grip his back tightly, broad and firm and yours, fingertips digging into his skin as he fucks himself against you.

"Feels so good," you whisper in his ear, voice trembling with every thrust, "Feels so good, Joel."

"I know it does, babygirl," he whispers, kissing your ear and grinding himself against you even deeper, moving his hands down to grip your hips as his cock continues to slip back and forth against your folds, "You're so sensitive, aren't you? That big cock feels so good against your little pussy, hm?"

You nod frantically, arms moving up a bit to wrap around his neck, your cheek brushing against his.

"You want a bit of my cock inside your hole, baby?" he whispers softly, secretly, pushing your hair away from your face, "Huh? You want the tip, honey? Just a little bit?"

You don't even have to think.

"Yes," you moan, "Yes, please, put it in, please."

"Okay, baby," he murmurs, pulling back a bit to look down at the mess you're making together, reaching his hand down to position his cock at your entrance, "Just the tip, babygirl, I won't go any further than that. Don't be scared."

"I'm not scared," you breathe, and you absolutely mean it, looking up at him with what you're sure is a completely wrecked expression, "I want it, Joel. Please."

He places the head of his cock against your hole gently, very gently. Then he takes your hands from around his neck and holds them in his, presses them up against his chest as he looks deep into your eyes. You look back, gaze never leaving his as he slowly pushes himself inside you - just the tip.

You gasp.

"Shhh," he breathes, squeezing your hands and continuing to peer into your eyes, never breaking eye contact, "Shhh, you're okay," he murmurs, "You're okay, angel."

You lay completely still, lips parting and eyes going hazy as you focus all your energy on experiencing this moment, on feeling the way the head of Joel's cock feels inside of you. It's pulsing, warm and wide and big inside your pussy, throbbing against your walls.

It feels fucking amazing.

"Joel," you whimper, eyes still locked completely on his.

"You're mine," he breathes, jaw tense and eyes alight with something you can only describe as pure passion, "You hear me? You're the only one I want. Don't want anyone else, baby. Nobody."

You nod desperately, thighs shaking as the fat head of his cock pushes inside just a little more, making you squirm. He stills his hips, still holding your hands against his warm chest.

"Look at us," he murmurs, "Just look."

Your gaze finally unlocks from his, eyes trailing downward to where you're connected, where the thick length of his cock juts out from between your legs. You rise a bit on the bed, whimpering as you look down at exactly where he sits inside of you, wet and dark and filthy and fucking beautiful.

"You can take all of me," he whispers, "I know you can, babygirl. But not now, not here."

"I know," you breathe, swallowing and looking up at him again with tears filling your eyes.

He pulls himself out of you then, places his thick and throbbing shaft against your pussy again and begins to thrust, moving downward so he's pressed up tightly against you, your hands caught between each other's bodies, the crucifix still hanging between your fingers.

"I'm gonna take you away with me, okay?" he says, almost a whimper as he stares into your eyes again, intense and focused, "We're gonna go away and I'm gonna tell you everything you wanna know about me, alright? And I'm gonna fuck you, baby. I'm gonna fuck you so good."

You're nodding as he speaks, whimpers and whines flowing continuously from your mouth as you near closer and closer to your orgasm, that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach growing stronger.

"I'll fuck you in the bed, I'll fuck you in the shower, I'll fuck you on the fucking floor," he groans, eyes suddenly shutting and breaking the eye contact he'd managed to hold for so long, his face coming down to bury itself in your neck, "You're mine, angel, you're mine."

"I'm yours," you cry as your climax hits you, knocks the wind out of you as you start to shake beneath him, your hole fluttering against the length of him, "I'm yours, Joel, only yours."

You feel his come hit your stomach, painting your skin as he releases a deep groan into your ear and puts his entire body weight on top of you. You just close your eyes and feel him, exist in this moment for as long as you can, just listening to his breathing match your own as you both come down from your high.

He nuzzles his face against the heat of your neck, squeezes your hand in his between your bodies. The crucifix digs into your palm but you barely feel it.

"I want you to keep it," you whisper in his ear, and he doesn't have to ask what you're talking about, just presses a soft kiss to your neck and finally pulls back to peer down at you with total adoration.

"Okay," he murmurs with a soft smile, "I will."

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #fic: feelings on fire #*

[natsglorifiedsimp]

Something Changed 2

A/N: You guys asked for it.

Taglist: @queen2234 @pipsipey17 @casquinhaa @natashajumpinoff @natsxwife @dark-hunter16 @i-lovescarlettjohansson @mrsrushman @tropicals-things @alianovnasposts @nova-kyle @jusnough @splzq @yellowthingsstuff

Part 1

Tasha's POV

"Hey, Maria!" Natasha called.

Natasha noticed the subtle eye rolling of Maria. She squinted her eyes. It was unusual for Maria to act like that especially cause she's been helping her get to date you.

"What do you want Natasha?" she grumbled.

Natasha was taken aback by this. "Jeez, I'm just asking about Y/n." another eye-roll was given to Natasha. "Have you seen her? I haven't seen her on campus."

"Glad you noticed, Natasha" she sarcastically said. Maria feigned a thinking posture and started to glare at Natasha, "Let's see hmm" Maria said with diction.

"How about the fact that you've been ignoring her since you and Wanda dated and now she's gone off to Los Angeles leaving us behind because of you!" Maria gritted her teeth trying to contain her anger because you were in the hallway where students were passing around thinking Natasha and Maria were doing a secret drug deal.

"W-what?" Natasha stuttered. "I-I haven't ignored her."

"Save me the drama, Natasha. All you think about is yourself." Maria said.

Natasha was so confused. She didn't know what she did to you. She hurriedly texted you, hoping you'd give her some explanation but all was left delivered. That's not usually you. You always reply as soon as you see the message pop.

Natasha back reads you guys' conversation. Seeing if there were any clues on when are you going to LA or something that would hint at anything.

But all she saw was how she neglected you. She could see in every message how much you needed her. She missed your rants, your rambles, and everything that you guys would do when you hang out.

She broke her promise.

Y/n's POV

LA was different. The school was fine so far. No one dumped milk on your hair yet. No one made fun of you yet. And you were hoping it would stay that way.

The new environment was hard for you. It is hard to start a conversation with people when you don't know who they are. Natasha always does the talking. But somehow in this world, you are the one who needs to adjust.

Even if the people were friendly, throwing a smile at you or saying hi, somehow you still felt timid and awkward. You were scared to make friends.

Cause you know they will leave again.

Natasha did. What could any of these peer's differences be?

You cried every night knowing you had no one cared. That even if you consider them your best friends they will never think of you the same way. You were an option. You are a pawn to someone's real agenda.

You cried because you knew how much you cherished friendships. You knew to yourself that you would care and love people and go out of your way just to be there for them.

But somehow with you, it was always the opposite.

You are left alone, and when you thought someone cared...

She never really was.

Natasha's POV

She tried calling you a million times, even called your parents just to have a chance to talk to you. To apologize. But you were too far gone.

She may have found the love of her life but she left you. She left you feeling like she didn't care. She disregarded your feelings and put herself first. She took advantage of you.

Natasha regretted everything that she did. Everything that she broke. She knew how much you value friendships and she also knew how to break it.

There were no more Y/n. The laughter you shared is now a glimpse of memories that she wished would last forever. Love may have come her way but she didn't have to run you over just to find it.

You were her person.

But i guess...

Loving involves losing right?

#Time to torture people #natasha marvel #natasha fanfiction #natasha alianovna romanova #natasha romonova #black widow #natasha romanov #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natahsa romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff angst #black widow x you #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x you

[nataliasquote]

Tattoos for troubled minds | n romanoff

Summary: Natasha struggles to trust anyone when it comes to touching her body. But that becomes rather difficult when a tattoo idea comes into her mind that she just can’t shake

Warnings: mentions of scars, tattoo needles, slight internalised homophobia

wc: 3.6k

note: I don’t actually have tattoos (despite wanting one so badly) so this is probably really inaccurate. I do apologise if this doesn’t make sense. also, I hate this so much but the guilt of not posting is eating me alive so I’m sorry

-⧗-

Natasha was a quiet soul. She kept to herself, usually sitting at her own table in the Shield cafeteria, eyes focused on her plate of food as she ate quickly, just wanting to get out of there. None of the other agents dared make conversation with her, too spooked by her fighting skills to approach. But that didn’t bother her. Her hyper independence made her hesitant to trust people.

Clint was the only one she spoke to outside of working hours. They weren’t exactly friends, but she tolerated him enough to flash a small smile if she saw him in the hallways or feel slightly relaxed if they were paired for missions together.

And he liked her too, especially since her first words had been a jab at his choice of weapon.

“Bow and arrow? What did you do, get your training in a forest?”

But he didn’t take offense to it. After all, he’d made the call to save her and she owed him her life. Which is how, two years later, she was sprawled on his couch, chewing on take out pizza for the second time that week with a scowl.

“I think I want a tattoo.”

Clint frowned at her, wondering where her brain cells had disappeared to. “What?”

“You know, the permanent drawing-“

“Yes I know what a tattoo is Tasha,” he rolled his eyes at her teasing smirk, already over her sarcasm. “But you know it’s a bad idea for spies to have unique markings like that.”

Natasha shrugged, tugging up her sleeve to reveal a strange shaped scar across her bicep. “I’d say I’ve got enough of those naturally. And it would be hidden on my ribs or something.”

Clint just shook his head and turned back to his food. He was used to Natasha’s odd comments and her tattoo phase probably wouldn’t last in his eyes. Just like her ‘wanting to be blonde’ phase didn’t.

But it didn’t end. A month later and Natasha had fallen down the rabbit hole that was tattoo designs on pinterest, courtesy of a fellow agent who introduced her to the app. She didn’t understand it at first, but now it was 3am and her tablet screen was still glaring bright in her face, a plethora of images scattered across her screen.

She saved a couple to a board, now set on design and placement, before placing it to one side with a grin on her face. Natasha climbed out of bed and padded over to her mirror, pulling up her shirt and smiling softly to herself. But the dim lamplight made her scars glisten and she caught herself, a sudden feeling of repulsion shuddering through her body. She looked like a freak and no tattoo artist would want to go near that. Her scars weren’t normal and she wasn’t ready for the questions yet.

Tears glazed her eyes over and her arms snaked across her stomach, her reflection in the mirror now blurry. Even as the salty tears dripped down her cheeks and soaked the collar of her shirt, she didn’t step away, too engrossed with how disgusting she felt in her body.

That stubborn hope that the redroom failed to squash out had ignited inside her once more, except this time she just wanted to laugh at it. Natasha would never be normal. She was what they’d made her into, and a tattoo was never going to change that.

Clint noticed the change in her demeanor when she sat down at breakfast. Natasha barely engaged in her usual small talk, more focused on her food in front of her.

“Did you do anymore tattoo research yesterday?” He asked, knowing that would catch her attention. But instead of the usual spark, she remained dejected, stirring her yogurt half heartedly.

“Yeah,” came her response, albeit rather forced.

“There’s probably a lot of places in DC that would kill to tattoo a shield agent.” Nat shot him a look. “Just saying!”

“Sure. But I don’t think I can anymore.”

Clint looked at her with a frown. “Why not?”

Natasha just looked down and tugged at her sleeve, suddenly feeling exposed in her tight fitting suit. The image in the mirror from last night came into her mind and she pushed her food away, no longer hoodie. And beside that, she didn’t trust people she worked with, so how would she trust a complete stranger to add something permanent on her body? Getting a tattoo would be nothing but a dream for her, she knew that, but it still crushed her.

Clint studied his best friend for a moment in thought, before he placed his hand gently on her arm. “I might know someone who can help.” Natasha looked up, now interested. Her face was still stony but Clint knew she was excited. “A friend of Laura’s, we helped her out even before you came here.”

“An agent?” Clint hadn’t mentioned anyone like that before and it confused Natasha.

But Clint shook his head. “No, nothing like that. She came to Laura and I when she was a teenager and had nowhere else to go. And you know my wife-“

“Can’t let anyone suffer,” Natasha finished for him, warmth spreading in her stomach at the thought of the soft woman she’d grown to adore. Laura really did have the biggest heart out of everyone.

“Exactly that. Y/n was fourteen, I think, parents kicked her out of the house. How she got to ours, I’ll never know, but she just appeared on the doorstep one night and Laura melted at the sight of her.” Clint’s expression softened at the memory. “But anyway, what I’m saying is that she’s a tattoo artist. She’s got trust issues just like you and I think she’ll help.”

Natasha scowled at the last part, wanting to protest his comment. But she knew he was right; her trust issues were what got her into this mess in the first place.

“But she’s a kid?”

“No, almost the same age as you,” Clint said with a laugh. “You’ll like her, but she can be a little scary.”

“Scarier than me?”

Clint smirked. “Oh, you’d be surprised. That glare of hers rivals yours.” This vague description intrigued Natasha and Clint could see the cogs turning in her mind. “She knows what we do and she’s seen my scars. Trust me, they won’t put her off.”

Natasha’s head shot up, staring at her best friend with confusion. Was she that easy to read? Or did he just know her too well?

~~~

With the news of her favourite girls coming back home, Laura had been in a frenzy of cleaning and preparing. Clint had texted to say he was only minutes away so she left the dishes to soak and headed to the porch, anxiously staring at the track beside their house as she waited.

Anyone would have thought she was married to Natasha over Clint by the difference in reactions she gave them. Sure, Clint got a kiss and a hug, but Natasha truly got the special treatment, with Laura scanning her to make sure she wasn’t injured and quizzing her about how she was. Poor Clint was left to grab their bags as the women disappeared into the farmhouse.

Tea was poured and snacks were eaten in the cosy kitchen before the doorbell rang and Laura excused herself, leaving an anxious Natasha on her own for a moment. Muffled voices could be heard but she tried to go against her instincts of listening in and instead busied herself with a loose thread on the tablecloth. She heard footsteps approaching and turned in her chair, ignoring the way her heart thumped loudly in her chest.

The woman who walked in the kitchen doorway was stunning, Natasha couldn’t deny it, and her eyes darted to the patchwork of tattoos that littered her exposed arms. Their eyes met, and Natasha swore she could see the walls up in the other woman’s mind. But it didn’t scare her off. No. It brought her a weird sense of comfort and her body started to relax.

Clad in a black cropped tank and black cargo pants, Y/n hesitated in the doorway, duffle bag slung over her shoulder hitting the wall gently. Laura appeared behind her, gentle hands falling to her shoulders.

“Y/n, this is Natasha, the one I told you about.” The y/h/c girl made no effort to move. “She’s Clint’s partner.” Clearly not much of a talker, Y/n just nodded, not hiding the fact she was scanning Natasha from head to toe. She didn’t trust strangers, but she trusted Laura and Clint who seemed to love Natasha. So maybe she wasn’t a threat.

“Hi, you can call me Nat if you want.” No one called her Nat except Laura, but it was a feeble attempt to make the atmosphere more comfortable. Another nod came but Laura smiled.

“Do you want to go set up? All of your stuff is still exactly where you left it,” Laura addressed Y/n who adjusted the grip on her bag and disappeared down the hall without a word. Natasha’s eyebrows raised at Laura who watched her go, a fond look in her eyes. “She does speak, I promise.”

Natasha shook her head, brushing her off. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I can tell you care about her a lot.”

“She’s like a daughter to me, kind of like you are.” Natasha’s cheeks flushed at that. “She doesn’t have anyone except us, so I worry. She’s a real sweetheart though, she’s just been through a lot. Kind of like someone else I know.”

“I’ll be kind, don’t worry.”

Laura couldn’t help but smile as she stirred her tea. “Oh I know. She already likes you, you don’t need to worry about that.”

Natasha let out a sigh and started to play with the hem of her zip up jacket. It suddenly felt real, the whole tattoo thing. And whilst she weirdly trusted Y/n, it didn’t help ease her nerves any less.

The redhead sensed a new presence before she spotted her, standing in the doorway just like she was before.

“Ready when you are, Nat.” Her voice was slightly raspy from lack of use and she spoke quietly, almost as if she was scared she’d get into trouble. Natasha smiled softly at the sound of her nickname and squeezed Laura’s hand before she followed the y/h/c girl down the hallway of the house she considered her second home.

Clint’s office had been turned into a makeshift tattoo studio with all new equipment and furniture decorating the small space. The tattoo bed had a fresh paper layer on top and Y/n gestured for Natasha to take a seat.

“Ok, do you have an idea of what you want? And where?” Y/n sat down at a small table and picked up her pen before looking at Natasha expectantly.

“I’ve got a couple of reference pictures on my phone.” The small device was handed over and Y/n swiped between them, nodding in approval before setting it down. “The last one is just for placement ideas.”

“I’ll work up a sketch and you can tell me what needs changing.” Luckily Natasha’s design was incredibly simple and it didn’t take long for Y/n to hold up her page.

Natasha slid off the bed and slowly walked over, not wanting to startle the skittish girl. But Y/n just moved over, clearly welcoming the redhead into her space.

“I love that a lot,” Natasha praised, studying the simple lines. “But maybe it could be a bit smaller.”

“I can scale it down when I make the stencil, no problem. But is the design alright? Remember, it is permanent so I want you to be completely happy with it.”

Natasha studied it for a moment, a smile tugging at her lips as she imagined it on her body. Y/n had talent, anyone could see that even from such a simple drawing, and Natasha nodded before she slid the notebook back to her.

“I love it, I really do.”

Y/n nodded, grabbing her stencil paper from a drawer by her leg. She wordlessly began making the stencil and Natasha took this as her cue to return to her seat. She peered around the room, admiring a few pictures that were on the walls. Incredibly complicated tattoos which she guessed Y/n had done.

The young girl sketching away in the corner thoroughly interested her and something inside Natasha was drawn in. She wanted to get to know her because aside from the shy and hesitant exterior she was effortlessly cool and seemed sweet. Maybe Y/n could be the start of Natasha’s project to make friends.

“If you lie back on the seat and lift your shirt, we can make sure this is exactly how you want it before I start.”

Natasha took a deep breath and slowly lifted her shirt and lowered the waistband of her sweatpants so her hip bone was exposed. She shivered despite the room being warm, fully aware that her nastiest scar was on full display on her lower stomach.

But Y/n didn’t care. Or at least she didn’t make it obvious if it bothered her. “Is it ok if I touch your hip?” She asked, looking Natasha straight in the eyes. The redhead almost melted at her words, not used to ever being asked that question.

“Of course, do what you need.” Y/n’s fingers were soft and delicate as she placed the stencil on Natasha’s skin. She didn’t touch anywhere she didn’t need to and worked quickly, making sure it was fully stuck down before stepping back to allow Natasha to step over to the mirror.

Although it wasn’t permanent, Natasha’s heart was racing as she saw the way the black ink stood out against her pale skin. The symbol was small but perfect in her eyes, and she turned back to Y/n with a grin.

“It’s perfect!”

“Then I’ll get started.”

Due to the design being so small, it took no more than fifteen minutes for Y/n to complete. Her hand was incredibly steady and Natasha’s pain tolerance was so high she barely felt it. The room was silent aside from the faint buzzing, no conversation stemming from either woman. Questions spiralled around Natasha’s head but she knew this wasn’t the place to ask them.

Completely lost in her head, Natasha failed to notice the silence or the fact that her hip bone was no longer burning. Y/n kept working, wiping away the excess ink and making sure she hadn’t missed a spot. But it was perfect, as usual, and she gently tapped Nat on the thigh to snap her out of her head.

“You’re now free to look.”

Natasha grinned and hopped off the bed, holding up her shirt again as she looked in the mirror. Tears almost sprung to her eyes as she admired the finished product, and they probably would have tumbled down her cheeks if she had been alone.

A small spider sat on the front of her hip, legs slightly bent. It looked so delicate on her skin and for the first time in her entire life, Natasha actually liked looking at herself in the mirror.

“It’s so beautiful,” she began to ramble, unable to tear her eyes away. “You’ve got real talent Y/n, I can’t thank you enough. It’s so perfect.”

Y/n blushed and couldn’t stop the smile that graced her lips, catching Natasha’s eyes in the mirror and making the redhead freeze.

Her smile.

The young woman hadn’t smiled the entire time she’d arrived, but seeing her now was like a breath of fresh air. Smiling looked so good on her and Natash couldn’t get enough.

“If you want to show Laura, you can, but you’ll need to come back so I can wrap it safely.” Natasha glanced at her new addition and nodded, but hesitated once she was by the door.

“I think you should come too. The artist and her artwork.” Natasha spoke with a smirk and Y/n couldn’t ever imagine saying no to that woman. So she nodded again, her usual response, and meekly followed her back down the hall, pulling off her gloves as she walked.

Laura was already waiting for them in the kitchen and she placed her reading glasses in her hair to get a good look at Natasha who still hadn’t dropped her shirt down. She’d never seen the Russian with such a wide grin before, her usual collected expression completely out of the window.

“It looks beautiful, Nat, truly. You did such a good job Y/n.”

“You never told me how talented she is!” Natasha stepped to the side to allow Y/n to come forward, but the humble woman stayed where she was, already hating the attention. She didn’t see her art as talent, more like a form of escapism. But it made people happy and that was all she wanted.

“I wanted you to see for yourself,” Laura replied. “And besides, she never believes me when I tell her how good she is.”

“You’re really easy to tattoo. You don’t squirm or cry like other people do, so really I should be thanking you.” Laura was taken aback by Y/n’s comment, not used to more than three words coming out of the girl’s mouth. But the more she observed her, the more she saw her change. The darkness she’d noticed since Y/n was a teenager had lifted a little and she seemed a lot less guarded, looking over at Natasha with a soft expression.

And Natasha looked back at her just the same, purely in awe of how gentle she was. As Y/n gestured for them to return to the office and offered to hold Nat’s shirt, Laura felt like squealing like a child.

Two of her favourite people in the world had found each other and, despite both being so broken and fragile, fit together so perfectly it was like they were made for each other.

Natasha was strong enough and sure of herself enough for the both of them, and Y/n treated her with such delicacy and care that it slowly broke away Natasha’s trust issues and allowed her to open up. And Natasha’s protective nature came out around the other woman, wanting to keep her safe from the world.

With a quick word about going to show Clint, Natasha disappeared into the front yard with her newly wrapped hip, leaving Y/n to find Laura again. The older woman welcomed her with a hug and pulled a chair close to her own.

“You like her, don’t you?”

Y/n kept her gaze on the crossword Laura was doing, not wanting her eyes to give her away if she looked up. “She’s nice.”

“Hey,” Laura said softly, carefully taking Y/n’s hand in her own. She didn’t miss the way she flinched but unfortunately she was used to that by now. “You’re not back there. You’re allowed to like her if that’s what you want and feel. She’s a good person, but so are you, you don’t need to be scared.”

Y/n’s eyes followed where their hands were clasped up to Laura’s face, trying to find any hints that showed she was lying. But all that came back was the soft and caring face she’d grown to love, one that didn’t lie to her and didn’t hate her for who she was.

“I don’t like her like that.” Call her a hypocrite for lying, but Y/n had her reasons. Loving a woman was still unnatural in her eyes, despite her contrasting feelings that longed for it.

“Y/n…” Laura’s ‘mom’ tone was one she was used to and she knew she was caught out. “I’m not asking you to tell me now, but you deserve happiness, as does she. And I haven’t seen either of you that relaxed in a really long time. So please don’t push her away.”

Y/n didn’t know what to think. How could she? Her whole life had centred around hating who she was, so how could anyone ever like her like that? It messed with her head and Laura could see that.

But what was Natasha if not a life saver. She came strolling into the kitchen, her tshirt now tucked up into the band of her sports bra to allow her tattoo to be on full display. Y/n smiled slightly at the sight.

Sinking down into the chair beside her, Natasha noticed the clasped hands of the women and wondered what she’d interrupted. But that wasn’t her place to ask, so she turned to Y/n.

“How can I pay you? How much do you charge?”

Y/n shook her head frantically, pulling her hand away from Laura. “Nothing, honestly. You’re a friend, it’s no big deal.”

“Absolutely not. If you won’t take money, at least let me repay you another way.”

“Nat-“

“Dinner? How about you let me take you to dinner next week. You’re from the city, right?” Y/n nodded, her brows creasing. She turned to Laura for help but the older woman just smiled widely and nodded, giving her as much non verbal encouragement as she could. “Please, Y/n?”

She’d said yes before she could even process what was going on. After all, they were just friends going to dinner. People in the movies that she’d seen did it, so she could too.

What was so wrong with that?

#natasha romanoff #fanfic #marvel #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff fluff #tattoos #clint barton

[wandanatsgf]

Sugar, Sugar Part 2

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: You, Wanda, and Natasha go over your sugar baby contract and you experience what it's like having the two women please you.

Warning: This contains smut and the following kinks: degradation, praise, thigh riding, daddy kink, mommy kink (I think that's all of them, but let me know if I missed one)

Author's note: I meant to post this last night, but I ended up falling asleep. Anyway here it is now! I decided to add smut, but since this is the trios first time I kept it pretty tame (at least according to my standards its pretty tame lol)

Part 1

After your little date with Natasha and Wanda, you go home with Kate. You climb into bed, surprisingly happy about how today turned out. You never thought being a sugar baby was something you would ever do, but the prospects of being able to afford rent and bills was just too tempting. And it helped that two of the hottest women in the world wanted you. All of your previous reservations about being a sugar baby had practically vanished after your meeting with the women.

You spend your night texting Natasha and Wanda, just getting to know them. You learn about their lives and they learn about yours.

The next morning arrives pretty quickly, and you're excited because you know it means you get to talk to Nat and Wanda some more.

You check your phone and you see that you have two new messages in your newly made groupchat.

Nat: Good morning hon! Text us when you're up, we wanted to meet today and draft up a contract.

Wanda: And have a good day! Talk to you soon baby!

The messages bring a smile to your face, and you quickly text the two women, telling them you can meet them whenever. They decide to pick you up at 1 and to bring you to their home to have this conversation.

The two women arrive at your apartment promptly at 1pm, just like they said they would. Natasha is in the driver's seat, while Wanda is in the drivers seat. Wanda get out when she notices you approaching so that she can open your door.

"Thanks Wanda," you say, blushing over the fact that this beautiful woman is opening the door for you.

"You're welcome darling," she says back. She makes sure that you're buckled before she climbs back into her seat. Once she's situated Natasha takes off to their house.

The three of you converse the throughout the whole drive. You talk about your school, your friends, their work, and more. Pretty soon Natasha is pulling up to a gated driveway and punching in a code. The gate retracts and lets the car in.

As the car pulls into the driveway, your mouth drops open. You knew the two of them were rich, but you didn't realize just how rich they are. Their house is massive, with it's pool and basketball court and tennis court. From the looks of it, the house has everything you could ever need.

"You might want to close your mouth baby," Natasha says with a smile, glancing back at you in her rearview mirror.

"Sorry," you say. You glance down at your lap, hoping to avoid eye contact with either of the women.

"You don't have to apologize baby, she's just teasing. Aren't you Natty?"

Natasha nods in agreement before saying, "You're just so cute when you're embarrassed honey." Natasha throws the car into park and walks around to open the door for you this time. A blush is gracing your face, and you think in the presence of these two, it's never going to go away. She helps you out the car and leads you into the house, with Wanda right behind the two of you. Wanda goes right, while you and Natasha goes left, where she leads you to a home office.

You sit down in a chair while Natasha sits in the one of the left of you.

"Where'd Wanda go?"

"She just went to get some drinks," Natasha says. "She'll be here soon." As soon as those words left Natasha's mouth, in walks Wanda carrying three bottles of water, a laptop, and a stack of papers. She gives one set of papers and water to you and one to Tasha, leaving one for herself.

Wanda sits down on the seat to your right and then she starts talking.

"I know this can be a lot to take in," Wanda says. "But we just wanted to go over everything and make sure you understand what you're getting yourself into. And if you decide to change your mind, you can back out at any time," Wanda assures you.

“Ok so what’s first?”

“First we wanted to talk about what we’re expecting and maybe tweak some things if we need to,” Natasha says. “The paper we gave you is just an example of a contract and what ours could look like.”

“We’re looking for someone to go to events with us when the other can’t go and to keep us company whenever we want. Are those things you’re okay with sweetheart?” Natasha asks you.

“Yes I’m fine with all of that,” you say. “I’d be more than happy to spend time with the two of you,” you say rather flirtatiously.

“Look who’s getting all courageous now,” Wanda lightly teases.

“I guess the two of you are just rubbing off on me.”

“Mhm,” the woman says, agreeing with you. She eyes you up and down, and you can see her pupils dilating, but the look in her eyes disappears just as quickly as it appeared.

“What’s next?”

“So allowance. We were thinking $2000 a week. Is that enough?” Wanda asks.

Your mouth drops open.

“What is something wrong? Do you need more?” Natasha asks, noticing your shocked expression.

“No! That’s more than enough,” you assure her. “I’m just not used to that much money,” you explain.

"It's no problem baby, you deserve it." Natasha's words bring a smile to your face.

"Next thing we need to discuss is sex, we can put off this conversation until later or we can have it now, whatever you want baby," Wanda says.

"We can talk about it now," you say, a shy smile gracing your face. Even though you were experienced in the bedroom, the topic still made you embarrassed.

"So you know that we're both doms, and I'm guessing based off of that cute, little smile and blush on your face, you're a sub?" Natasha asks. You nod your head in conformation.

And do you know about the traffic light system?"

"Yes, I've used it before."

"Okay good. If you ever need to safe word for any reason whatsoever, just say red and everything stops. We promise we won't be mad," Wanda says.

"Thank you, I really appreciate that, you two," you say.

"You don't have to thank us honey. We're just doing what all doms should do," Natasha says. Her words give you a sense of comfort. You had never been with someone who cared about your wellbeing like the two of these women did. And the crazy thing is, you had just met these women, but you still felt safe with them.

“And aftercare. What do you like?”

“Cuddles, baths or showers, cuddly naps,” you say.

"Okay that’s actually perfect, that’s what we like too. And now we just need to go over some kinks, and you can just tell us if you like them or not, okay sweetheart?" Wanda asks.

"Okay, that sounds good."

"Bondage?"

"Yes."

"Spanking?"

"Yes."

"Praise?"

"Yes."

"Choking?"

"Yes."

"You're a dirty little thing, aren't you baby? It'd probably be easier for us to just ask what you aren't into huh?" Wanda teases you.

"Yeah, unless you'd like to be here all day," you say.

"I'd have no objections to that," Natasha says, making you giggle. "So what aren't you into baby?"

"Blood, scat, feet, extreme pain, ummm," you say, trying to think of more. "I think that's it, or it's all I can think of right now."

"I knew you'd be a dirty little thing," Wanda tells you.

"How do you feel about calling Wanda mommy and me daddy?" Natasha asks, slightly changing the subject.

"I'd really like that," you say. You can already feel your pussy starting to drip just talking about all of these kinks, and your neediness is starting to get to you.

"It looks like you really like that princess," Wanda says, her eyes trained on your lap, where you had been trying to subtly adjust yourself, trying to relieve the pressure in your core.

A whine is the only thing that leaves your lips, and it surprises the two women.

"Sounds like you need some help baby," Natasha says.

"Please," you beg.

Natasha gets up from her chair and goes to stand behind you. She leans down, her lips lightly grazing you ear. "Are you sure baby? I know we said we'd ease you into this, and if you don't want to do anything sexual right now we don't have to," Natasha says, wanting to make sure you're alright.

"I'm sure, please touch me, I need you," you beg both of the women. Before the words had barely left your mouth you're being attacked by two sets of lips and hands. Wanda pulls you onto her lap, she lifts your skirt up a bit, adjusting you so that your panty covered mound is against her thigh.

Wanda's lips attach to the side of your neck while Natasha moves to stand behind the two of you, so that you are face to face with her. She tilts your head up so you can look at her. She presses her lips to yours and her kiss is surprisingly gentle.

Wanda's hand go to your hips, adjusting you so that you're straddling one of her thighs. Her detaches her lips from your neck so she can speak to you.

"Be a good little slut and ride mommy's thigh, baby," the woman says to you. You moan into Natasha's mouth, as she continues to kiss you while you start to slowly grind your hips.

"Come on baby. I know you can do better than that," Natasha says, encouraging you. You start to grind harder on Wanda's thigh, while Natasha's left hand makes it's way to your hair. She threads her fingers through your hair and tilts you head up. Wanda's hands stay on your hips, pushing you down onto her.

"Daddy knows you can go faster than that. Don't make me punish you," Natasha warns. Your hips speed up, your clit bumping against Wanda's thigh with every thrust. You can feel your high quickly approaching, your senses just so overwhelmed by the two women. Natasha's hand slips from your hair to your chest, her hand slipping underneath your shirt and bra, so she can pinch your nipples. The feeling almost sends you over the edge.

"Please, please, please," you beg, the need to cum approaching. The women's touches are overstimulating, it's like you can feel them everywhere.

"Use your words sweetheart. What's my little slut want?" Wanda says.

"Please mommy, please daddy, let me cum," you beg, your thrusts starting to get sloppy as you start to lose control over yourself.

"Cum for us baby," one of the women say, although you're not sure which one it is, too caught up in your pleasure to notice.

Your loud moans fill up the room as you cum all over Wanda's thigh, your panties becoming soaked and sticky as your cum leaks out of your pussy and into them.

"You did such a good job baby," Wanda says. She moves you so that your arms are wrapped around her neck and she presses gentle kisses to your face.

"You're such a good girl, doing everything we asked so perfectly," Natasha praises. The praise makes you cling onto Wanda more, making you more needy than you already are, but the two women don't mind. 'Do you wanna go shower sweetheart?"

"But what about you two?" you ask, referencing the fact that neither woman came.

"This was just about you baby. You can help us out some other time," Wanda says.

"Then can I take a bath please?"

"Of course angel, anything for you," Natasha says.

The three of you make your way to the bathroom, passing through what you think is Natasha and Wanda’s bedroom to get there. Natasha grabbing soap and a wash cloth for you while Wanda makes the bath for you.

"Bubbles or no bubbles?"

"Bubbles please," you say. Wanda grabs her favorite bubble bath and pours some into the tub for you. Soon the tub is filled up and the two women go to leave when you stop them.

"Can you join me please? Unless you don't want to, which is fine," you say quickly, your voice trailing off at the end.

"Of course we'll join you honey," Natasha says. Pretty soon the three of you are sitting in the massive tub, bubbles surrounding the three of you. You’re cuddled in between the two women, while they both bath you.

“Okay are you right to get out now?” Wanda asks. You nod yes and let the two women help you out. They dry you off and give you some of their own clothes to wear.

“Thank you,” you tell the two women once you were dressed, sleepiness lacing your voice.

“You’re welcome sweetheart,” Wanda says, leaving a gentle kiss on your nose.

“Of course, honey,” Natasha says, gently kissing your cheek. “Do you need a nap baby?”

“Yes please,” you say. Hearing you say yes please melts the two women’s hearts, not that they would tell you that though.

The two women take you to their room and lay you gently in the bed. They crawl in too, surrounding you on both sides.

“Go to sleep honey. We’ll be here when you wake up,” Wanda says. The two women leave kisses on your head while you cuddle into them, eventually drifting off.

Once you’re asleep the two women share a look and they both know what the other is thinking. They like you a lot, way more than they’ve ever liked a sugar baby before, and they don’t know what it means yet. But they will gladly find out.

taglist: @alexawynters @marvelwomen-simp @tobiaslut @flositaa

#black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wandanat x reader #marvel #mcu #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch #sugar mommy!natasha #sugar mommy!wanda #black widow #smut #natasha x reader smut #wanda x reader smut

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Let's Talk About That Chapter 1

Psychiatrist!Avenger!Fem!Reader × Wanda Maximoff

Summary: You are the young psychiatrist for the Avengers, and you take your job very seriously, but what happens when Wanda joins the team, turning your life upside down?

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: legal age gap r is 19 w is 25, talks of death and grief, a bit of angst, therapy sessions

A/N: I had this idea for a while and wrote it a while ago, but spruced it up for publishing. I hope you enjoy it!

May 7th-10th 2015

The only sounds to be heard were the scratches of your pen against paper as you wrote down notes the old fashioned way and the hum of the AC unit installed in your office. Tony let you have a nice corner of the tower where there was sunlight and windows. You had gone with a soft gray for the walls, an L-shaped mahogany desk that had both a desktop computer and your laptop. Across from your desk was two couches and a coffee table between them with an assortment of fidget toys, a succulent, a handful of magazines, and a box of tissues. 

Everyone had been away on an important mission and normally you’d go with, but you'd been recovering from a previous injury, you still are when you hear a knock on your door, 

"Open." You let them know and just from their aura you can tell it's Tasha, but she's with someone else, an aura you don't recognize. You look up to find a girl with chestnut colored hair, and a dark aura around her. "Hey Tash. I'm glad you're all home safe. I'm assuming we'll restart our sessions?" You ask the red head. 

"Yes. We can resume them. Tomorrow. Today I need you to have a talk with this one." Tasha helps her into the room and gestures for her to sit down, Tasha walks over and hands you a large file. "She came from HYDRA, they had a lot of info on her, she had joined us in the fight against Ultron." Tasha tells you before lowering her voice, "She lost her twin brother during the battle. So maybe you can get her to talk." You smile at Tasha and then look past the red head. 

"Yeah of course we shouldn't have any issues Tash. Leave it to me." You tell her as I adjust your glasses, quickly looking over her file as Tasha exits, closing the door behind her, "Wanda Maximoff, 25, born in Sokovia." You say out loud as you walk around your desk to the other couch across from where she's sitting criss-cross. You take notice she's taken her shoes off and smile, taking note of the fact that she’s comfortable enough to do something like that. "I'm Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. I'm 19. I'm also an Avenger. I have a power that allows me to see auras and emotions. I can also influence people's emotions and use my voice to influence others around me." You tell her a little about yourself first to help make her comfortable with talking about herself.

"You're 19? How are you a doctor?" She finally talks and you can hear her thick Sokovian accent which is like music to your ears. 

"I'm very smart. Graduated high school at 12 finished my Doctorate last year for psychiatry and Tony took me in as the Avengers Psychiatrist shortly after that. Everyone here needs a little bit of help and that is what I'm here to provide for you." You smile at her as you open a fresh notebook for her, choosing a red covered one noticing that she was wearing Tasha’s red leather jacket. "So tell me a little about yourself. Anything you want." You ask as you jot down her basic info on the first page. 

"I love American sitcoms." she tells you first. You smile and look at her over your glasses. 

"Why is that?" You ask as you jot down her words. 

"We used to watch them as a family every night so we could learn English." She tells you making a smile appear on your face. 

"When you say we who does that entail?" You question the Sokovian wanting to get to the root of her problems. 

"My Mama, Papa, and Pietro..." She tells you solemnly. 

"Who is Pietro?" You inquire, looking up from your notebook. 

"He is...was...my twin brother." You jot down everything she says during your session and she does open up a little bit with some persuasion on your part, but that isn't unusual for your sessions. 

"Well Wanda thank you for opening up to me. Your aura is looking a little warmer from when you first walked in. How about you come back in three days for another session?" You tilt your head as you grab a little card for her. 

"Why three days?" She asks nervously, tugging at her sleeves attempting to cover her hands, but the jacket doesn't budge. She starts picking at her nails as an alternative, chipping the black nail polish further. 

"I like to have frequent sessions the first month. Then we'll have them weekly just like the others." You let her know and she nods her head as you write the date and time for her to show up on the card for three days from now. Standing up with her, "I offer a high fives, hand shakes, fist bumps, or a hug at the end of sessions. Which would you like?" You ask and she's thrown off a bit by the statement at first but then answers. 

"Hug. I could use a hug right now." You open up your arms and let her come to you. She ends up crying in your arms as you sooth her, letting her know it is okay to cry. 

"I'll always be here for you Wanda. I'm always on your side." You whisper to her and she holds you tighter at the words.

You sat back down at your desk after Wanda left, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you. Empathy for Wanda's pain, determination to help her heal, and a lingering sense of dread about what HYDRA had done to her. But you pushed those feelings aside, focusing on the task at hand.

As the Avengers' psychiatrist, it was your responsibility to help your teammates navigate the mental and emotional toll of their work. Sometimes that meant delving into painful memories or difficult emotions, but it was a role you took on willingly. After all, you had your own share of struggles, and if you could use your powers to help others, then it was worth it.

You glanced at the clock and realized it was almost time for lunch. You decided to take a break and head to the common area, where you found Tony tinkering with one of his suits.

"Hey, Y/N," he greeted you with a grin. "How's it going?"

"Good," you replied, sinking into a nearby chair. "Just had a session with Wanda. She's been through a lot."

Tony nodded solemnly. "Yeah, losing her brother and all that HYDRA stuff... it's rough."

You sighed, running a hand through your Y/H/C hair. "Yeah, but she's strong. I think she'll come through it."

Tony gave you a reassuring smile before returning to his work, and you took a moment to appreciate the camaraderie of the team. Despite your differences and the challenges you guys faced, you were a family, bound together by our shared experiences and our commitment to protecting the world.

After a quick lunch, you headed back to your office to prepare for your next session. As you reviewed your notes from Wanda's session, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to her story, something hidden beneath the surface. But for now, all you could do was continue to offer her support and hope that she would find the strength to confront her demons and emerge stronger on the other side.

With that thought in mind, you square your shoulders and prepare to face whatever challenges lay ahead. As an Avenger, a psychiatrist, and a friend, you were ready to do whatever it took to help your teammates and protect the world from whatever threats may come our way.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

Three days passed in a blur of meetings, training sessions, and the occasional emergency mission. But today, you were back in your office, eagerly awaiting Wanda's return for your second session. As you sat at your desk, reviewing your notes from your previous meeting, you couldn't help but feel a surge of empathy for her. Losing a loved one in battle was something you could relate to all too well.

Before you could dwell too much on your own past, there was a soft knock on your door, and Wanda stepped into the room. Her aura seemed a bit brighter today, though still tinged with sadness. "Hey, Wanda," you greeted her with a warm smile, motioning for her to take a seat. "How are you feeling today?"

Wanda hesitated for a moment before answering, "Better, I think. Thank you for... everything last time."

You nodded, understandingly. "Of course. It's what I'm here for." You gestured toward the notebook on the table. "Shall we pick up where we left off?"

For the next hour, the two of you delved deeper into Wanda's past, her memories of Sokovia, her time with HYDRA, and her experiences with her brother, Pietro. With each word she spoke, you could feel her emotions swirling around you, and you did your best to guide her through them, offering comfort and support where you could.

As your session came to a close, Wanda seemed visibly lighter, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Thank you, Y/N," she said softly, wiping away a stray tear. "I didn't realize how much I needed this."

You smiled back, feeling a sense of fulfillment wash over you. "Anytime, Wanda. Remember, I'm always here for you."

Before she left, Wanda surprises you by reaching out and giving you a tight hug. "Thank you," she repeated, her voice thick with emotion.

As you watched her leave your office, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to help someone in need, to make a difference in their life, even if it was just one session at a time. And as you glanced down at the Power Stone embedded in your chest, you couldn't help but wonder if perhaps this was the true source of your ability to connect with others on such a deep level. But for now, all that mattered was that you were making a difference, one session at a time.

#ley speaks #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff fluff #ley writes #wanda x reader #wanda x you

[kujousgf]

spoiled brat ! mdni. 18+.

pairings natasha romanoff × fem ! reader, slight carol danvers × reader

synopsis natasha can't believe you're the partner she got stuck with for the class project

content warnings college student! natasha, jealousy, mentions of violence (affectionate), alcohol, dom! top!natasha, sub!bottom!afab!reader, fingering (r receiving), reader is feminine !

wc 3.1kish

a/n: this is a repost of a fic from my old blog that i rly loved !

Natasha wouldn't say she was unimpressed when the professor started listing off the pairs for their latest project and she heard the name Y/N after her own, but she wasn't exactly happy with who her partner was either. Now, she’d never actually spoken to you before, but from what she'd heard you were the epitome of a spoiled brat.

Apparently, you're friends with Yelena’s… girlfriend? If that's what Kate was, she wasn't sure. But Yelena had told her that you and Kate make a great pair… which makes her dread the weeks to come with this project. She fakes a smile when she sees you walking over, trying not to seem so annoyed with the pairing.

But that was about two weeks ago, and after spending some time with you she can absolutely confirm that you are a brat and that you never shut up. You're such a brat, in fact, Natasha just wants to punch that pretty face of yours and have you—

“Tasha, pay attention to me.” Your whiny voice cuts through her thoughts and she blinks, looking over at you as you sit on your bed. Right, she's in your room and you're still here. “I’m trying to get some work done on the project you're supposed to be helping me with.” She says flatly, turning her head and looking at you from where she's sitting at your desk.

“You're so boring, who cares about the stupid project? Let's just go shopping or something.” You pout and Natasha curses a bit under her breath, wishes she could just shut you up for a little bit. And then she's standing up before she can stop herself and walking across the relatively large bedroom.

You grin when you see the older woman get up, “See, I knew you didn't want to do that stupid–” You're stopped mid sentence and your eyes go wide when Natasha grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks. “You've been nothing but an insufferable brat for the past two weeks and now that I'm finally getting some work done, you can't shut up for five seconds?”

Your breath catches in your throat and your cheeks heat up, and not just from the grip Natasha has on you. Has she always been this attractive? I mean, of course she has, you don't whine for just anybody's attention.

“What? Nothing to say? Are you finally going to shut up and be a good girl?” Natasha doesn't really know what she's doing, acting without thinking for sure, but her worries are pushed down when she feels a meek nod from you “Good girl.” She relaxes her grip and pats your cheek, looking down into your dazed eyes before smiling and starting to walk away.

“Wha– Where are you going?” You blink, snapping out of your dazed state when you can no longer feel the warmth from Natasha's hand on your cheek. “I’m going to work on the project, what else would I be doing? It’s due in three days, you know.” Natasha responds as if nothing happened and sits back down at the desk on the other side of the room.

“Oh.. right.” You nod, smoothing out your skirt and attempting not to seem so disappointed. You busy yourself with your phone, texting Kate and telling her to swear she won’t tell anyone about what just happened.

It’s embarrassing how Natasha is all you can think about for the next couple of days, even when Kate is talking your ear off about Yelena all you can think about is how you wish Natasha would take you on a date. Wait… You wish Natasha would take you on a date?

The realization makes the tips of your ears turn red and you almost choke on the milkshake you're drinking. You thought you were just attracted to Natasha, not interested in her romantically. And yeah, even before you got paired up for the project the older woman caught your eye, and maybe it made you a little angry when you saw some of your other classmates blatantly flirting with Natasha, but you figured that was just because you were an attention whore and wanted the attention for yourself! Not that it had anything to do with actually liking Natasha.

You groan and drop your head down onto the table dramatically. “Uh... Babe?” Your head lifts up at Kate’s words and you exhale loudly, perhaps a bit more dramatically than necessary, “I think I have a crush on Natasha.”

That is how you found herself here, at a party Yelenda was throwing in one of the skimpiest outfits you've ever worn because Kate swears she knows what Natasha likes, courtesy of asking Yelena, and ‘this will make her go crazy in the best way possible’. You've gotten a lot of attention so far this evening and none of it has been from Natasha, you're starting to think Kate was lying to you.

The short skirt barely covers your ass and all you've gotten so far were sleazy comments from the few guys that showed up to the party. Natasha barely even said hi to you when she arrived, just dismissively said she submitted the project file before walking off somewhere. You sigh, walking off to see if you can find Natasha anywhere, maybe she'll talk to you if she's cornered.

When Yelena texted her saying she had a present for her waiting at her house, the last thing Natasha expected to see was you in the shortest skirt she’s ever seen, looking like she was just begging to be bent over and—

Ah, she really shouldn’t be thinking that right now. Her favorite beer, perhaps, but not you.

She knew she would regret telling Yelena what happened, it was her fault for thinking she wouldn’t somehow meddle in things. Now, she had to avoid you for the whole night while also trying not to hurt your feelings. Great, sounds like it’ll be a fun night. And Gods, she wished she didn't care about your feelings.

It’s not like she didn’t want to see you, she did, she just didn’t know if she could control herself around you and for how long. You hadn’t seen each other since that day because Natasha just finished the rest of the project herself and put your name on it. The prof didn’t have to know Natasha did it all herself.

Right now, Natasha is standing in the kitchen talking to Yelena, beer in hand because there’s no way she’s going to make it through tonight completely sober. “Is she fucking insane?” She practically hisses, “I can practically see her ass is that. Everyone can.”

Yelena shrugs in response, “She seemed pretty excited to wear it. Maybe you should go tell her to change. Tell her it makes you jealous.” She teases, laughing at her sister who is clearly extremely infatuated with someone she previously claimed to hate.

Natasha rolls her eyes, ”Is that Kate talking to some guy over there?” She says, laughing when it immediately makes Yelena leave. She sips on the beer, leaning against the island and observing the party. Weird, she doesn’t see you anywhere.

You, in your search for Natasha, checked the main room and outside before giving up and deciding that if Natasha wanted to see you she would come find you. And about 20 minutes later you find herself making out with one of the girls from the party. Carol, you think is her name. It’s nice, but she’s just not Natasha.

This really is your worst nightmare, you can’t even kiss a pretty girl without thinking about Natasha. But maybe you could just keep going and see how it goes. Carol’s hand snakes up to caress your cheek and you immediately pull away, her hand just didn’t feel like Natasha’s, Carol's was softer and colder.

“I’m sorry–” you say, catching your breath and looking away from Carol for a moment. Your eyes go wide for a second when they immediately lock onto Natasha’s dark ones from across the room and you try to take a step back from Carol when you see Natasha walking towards you. You're quick to remember Carol had you pressed up against the wall. “I gotta go.” You squeak out, leaving behind a very confused Carol. “Call me..?” She calls out as you disappear through the backdoor.

Well, Natasha supposes the reason she couldn’t see you before is because you were hidden by Carol. She clicks her tongue at the thought of her getting to take you home, she would be making sure that doesn’t happen.

She brushes past everyone as she follows you outside, rolling her eyes when she sees your attempt to keep your skirt from flying up due to the breeze. “Y/N.” She calls out, tone stern as she watches you try to act like you hadn’t heard. She keeps walking, catching up to you enough so that she can grab your wrist and tug you back towards her. “And where do you think you’re going?”

You stumble backwards, falling into Natasha's chest. “I was just… getting a little warm in there, I needed some fresh air.” You mumble, straightening up and trying not to seem so affected by Natasha's close proximity. “Mhm?” Natasha moves her hands to rest on your exposed stomach, “I don’t know how you could get warm considering the lack of clothes you’re wearing right now.” She hums, short nails raking against your soft skin.

“Mhm...” you respond, breath getting caught in your throat at the sensation. Before you can get too caught up in how good it feels to have Natasha so close to you like this, you force yourself to consider the fact that you're outside and completely out in the open right now. “We should probably head back inside, people might be wondering where we went…” you gain enough willpower to break away from Natasha's hold and turn to face her, cheeks hot.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that, I told Yelena we might disappear and that she shouldn’t worry about it.” Natasha lies easily, starting to walk forward and forcing you to walk backwards until your back hits the side of the house. She takes in your appearance properly for the first time tonight, her gaze lingering perhaps a little too long on your lips that were slightly swollen from when you were kissing Carol.

“Natasha…” You start, voice shaky. “Oh? Full name.. Well then.” Natasha hums, “Unless, of course, you’d like to go back to that other girl. Then be my guest.” She takes a step back and you swear you hear jealousy with a hint of anger in her tone.

You gain your confidence back for just a second and you smirk a little bit, “I mean, if you don’t mind. She was a good ki—” You're cut off by Natasha's lips on yours and you reciprocate immediately, reaching up to try and wrap your arms around Natasha's shoulders, but you're stopped by the older woman pinning your hands against the house.

The kiss isn’t gentle by any means and it only makes you want Natasha that much more. A whine slips past your lips when Natasha nips at your bottom lip and you arch to try and get impossibly closer to her.

Natasha pulls away much to your dismay, “You were saying?” She cocks her head to the side, looking up at you slightly, your platform mary janes giving you a few inches on her. “Would you just shut up and kiss me?” You whine, leaning back in to capture her lips in a kiss.

Natasha smiles against your lips and it’s almost a gentle encounter for just a second. She grasps both of your wrists in one hand, keeping them pinned against the house as, with her other hand, she rakes her nails down the soft skin of your left arm, leaving angry red marks in their wake.

You shiver, trying desperately to pull your wrists from the older woman’s grip so you can tangle your fingers in Natasha's hair, grip her waist, pull her closer, anything. She just grips your wrists harder and continues her descent down your body. Her fingertips linger over your breasts just a little longer than everywhere else before she goes back to raking her nails against your skin, stopping at the top of your skirt and teasingly dipping her fingers just beneath the waistband.

Natasha pulls away from the kiss, partly to catch her breath, and starts leaving messy kisses down the column of your throat, then back up the side of your neck, her teeth nipping at your skin every once in a while. “Tasha, please.” You're just kissing and you're already so desperate for more, you'd probably be more embarrassed if you cared more, but at this current moment all you want is Natasha's hands on you and her lips against your own.

Natasha's hand slips under your shirt and she gropes at your chest, hiking your shirt up so your breasts are uncovered. The flimsy bralette you're wearing is easy enough to tug down under your breasts and Natasha moves her kisses further down until she’s wrapping her lips around one of your pert nipples, tugging at it with her teeth. She’s met with the sound of your moans as a reward and she lets your wrists down so she can use her other hand to focus attention on your other nipple.

You're quick to tangle your fingers in Natasha's hair, arching your back and pushing the older woman’s head closer. If you were any less consumed in how good it feels to have Natasha touching you, you'd be much more concerned about the fact that anyone who stepped outside could see you like this, but right now all you can focus on is Natasha's hands and mouth.

You try pushing her head down further, wanting more. “Please, Tasha.” You whine, and all you're met with is Natasha pulling away altogether. “Patience, sweetheart.” She murmurs, leaning back up and soothing you with a kiss, other hand still tugging at and rolling your nipple between her thumb and index finger.

Natasha bites down on your bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, and pushes her tongue past your lips. You moan into the older woman’s mouth, tightening your grip in her hair. She reaches down and takes the hem of your skirt, tucking it into the waistband. She’s teasing in her touches, not slipping under your panties, fingers dancing around where you need her most. She takes her time, leaving red hot scratch marks on your inner thighs and reveling in the way you shiver in response. And then finally, finally, she slips her fingers beneath the waistband of your panties.

You gasp, still able to taste your own blood on Natasha's tongue, as you finally feel her fingers against you, teasing and light touches. You're all whimpers and whines as the older woman rubs teasing circles against your clit. You pull away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips to Natasha’s, your breathing heavy as you let your head fall back against the side of the house.

Natasha is quick to attach her lips to your throat, sucking and nipping at the skin, surely leaving a bruise. One of her hands is still groping at your chest, enjoying the noises she’s rewarded with from you. She grins when she feels your hips attempting to grind against her hand, so she stills it, letting you grind against the heel of her palm and set your own pace. “That’s a good girl.” She mumbles, scraping her teeth against your sensitive skin. She drags her fingers through your wetness and stifles her own groan.

You're desperately grinding against Natasha's palm, but it’s just not enough and you need more. It’s a little pathetic how easy it was for Natasha to rile you up like this, and you're sure you'll be teased about it later, but right now all you care about is finally having Natasha’s fingers inside of you.

“Nat, please, inside.” It comes out as a pitiful whine, but it seems Natasha is feeling particularly nice today as you feel her laugh against your neck. You moan loudly when two fingers enter you and give you no time to adjust before pounding into you. Thank god the music from the party is so loud or someone might have come outside to see what’s going on.

“This what you wanted, princess?” She asks, fingers unrelenting as she pounds into you, her thumb rubbing circles around your clit. “Mhm– oh!” You moan, high pitched, when Natasha bites down on the juncture between your neck and your shoulder, soothing it with her tongue. And in return, you dig your nails into her back, the acrylics piercing through the thin fabric of Natasha’s shirt and drawing blood. She lets out a quiet moan, fingers stuttering. Oh? You'd have to remember that for later.

You bite down on your already bloodied bottom lip to stifle your moans, back arching into Natasha's touch. It’s not long before you feel like you're going to cum, nails digging further into Natasha’s back. “Please, Tasha– I’m gonna– Please.” You whimper, not even sure what you're begging for.

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” Natasha mumbles against your neck, pulling away so she can look at your face. She speeds up her fingers and gauges your reaction, feels you tighten around her fingers. “What do you need, sweetheart?” It’s a rhetorical question because all you can respond with is a flurry of begging and pleas to cum.

A particularly hard thrust has you grasping at her shoulders and moaning loudly. “I got you, baby. Be a good girl and cum for me.” Natasha murmurs, opting for harder thrusts instead of faster.

You moan loudly as you cum, mouth hanging open and you back arching. Appreciating how Natasha lets you ride out your high before leaving you empty. “Mm, good girl.” She pulls away slightly, but still supports you with a hand on your waist. She pushes her fingers past your lips and lets you taste yourself while she uses her other hand to fix your clothes.

“I meant to tell you earlier, but your outfit really drove me crazy tonight.”

#alice's fics ! #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x y/n #natasha romanov x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanov imagine #natasha romanov x reader

[wifeofnatasharomanoff]

Asleep In Your Arms

WARNINGS: Natasha Romanoff has a dick, fluff, sleepy smut, slight groping, stomach bulges, breeding kink, soft sex, established relationship/marriage, they have a son

WORDS: 1.08k

PAIRING: beefy!Natasha x f!reader

A/N: omg i haven't posted a fic in sooooo long 😭

An infant's giggle awakens Natasha, your wife, from her deep slumber. She rubbed her eyes with her knuckles as she sat up on the bed, watching you in awe as you play with the baby in your lap beside her. “aww my little baby boy, oh, you're so cute! Yes, you are!” you baby-talked the little boy as he laughs, his stubby little hands grabbing at your face as you nuzzle your nose into his chubby cheek. “Detka..? God, what time is it?” you turn your attention to Natasha as you greet her with a soft, loving smile. “It's a little past 9 pm, darling.” she raised her brow at your words, “and you didn't think to wake me up?” you pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “You just looked so peaceful sleeping. Plus, you came back from a week long mission.”

“Babe, he's uh– Alex's biting your hair, krasivaya.” you look down to see the baby nibbling on your hair strands, your hands immediately untangling his gummy mouth from your hair. “What did mommy say about biting her hair?” you sternly asked Alex, as if he was able to understand you. “mm’o–” Natasha's eyes slightly widened at the baby's almost-spoken word, “Tasha did he just?” she frowned. “No, Alex, don't say mommy, say mama.” you nudged her side, “right, and who had to go through 9 months of pregnancy and 13 hours of labor. Because someone wanted a baby and got me knocked up.” she scoffed. “Excuse me, but you're the one who agreed—” she stopped herself, fully realizing that she had lost the argument.

“That's what I thought.” she huffed before snuggling up to your side once more, “we should make another one.” she mumbled against your waist. “...What?” she sighed as she held onto you tighter, “nothing.” you were about to respond when you felt the boy in your arms muscles relax and soft breathing heard from his direction. “Honey, is he asleep?” you whispered to the redhead, only to be answered with silence. You peeked down at her sleeping soundly, her arms wrapped around your torso. “Nat.. let go. I need to take Alex to his crib.” she muttered incoherent words as she turned to the side. You slowly got up from the bed and went to the nursery, setting down the infant with gentle hands.

Your heart ached with how cute your son looked sleeping, his chubby little face squished to the side of the soft mattress. You heard a quiet flick noise as the light of the hallway outside of the room turned on. “Natasha?” you called out and closed the nursery door behind you, peering out into the hallway. “My love, what are you doing out of bed..?” you pulled her back into the bedroom, “go back to sleep, Natty.” she looked down at you with groggy eyes. “Natasha..” you softly spoke, your hands moving to cup her face. She slid her hands down to your hips and pushed you flat on the bed. “Darling don't you think it's a bit late— oh!” she lifted up your legs and placed them on both sides of her waist.

Your eyes darted to the outline of her bulge prodding through her boxers, “you really want this, don't you, Tash?” she groaned as your smaller hand went to squeeze her clothed length. “Go on then, use me.” with your words something snapped in her, and she adamantly slipped your panties off and tossed them somewhere in the dark of the room. “’m gonna fuck you so good, baby..” she whispered, her voice raspy considering she just woke up. “Yeah? Prove it to me.” she peppered kisses trailing up your inner thigh, stopping at your wet cunt. She discarded her boxers, your gaze fixated on her girthy, long length springing free.

“Oh, fuck me.” you breathed out, she smirked as she aligned her bulbous tip with your entrance. “I'm planning on it, sweetheart.” you exhaled shakily as she inserted a few inches into your pussy. “Is– is it just me or did those missions make you more..” you admired her bite-able, muscular arms and shoulders with a lustful glint in your eyes. “More what?” you laughed silently, “oh.. nothing.” she slammed her entire cock inside your hole. “Oh God!” you moaned as she slid in and out of you at a painfully slow pace. “..Faster. Fuck me faster!” she sped up her thrusts with a harsh grip on your hips.

“Ah– mmngh you're so big..” you whined, already cock drunk over just a few movements. “You're so fuckin’ beautiful, Krasivaya.” her voice was strained, finding it unbearable to not release inside of you, your walls fluttering down on the sides of her dick didn't help either. “I- I can't t..” your words were breathless as you talked, you dug your nails deep inside Natasha's beefy shoulders as you felt her tip rubbing against your cervix. “Darling I'm.. I–” your skin felt as if it was set ablaze, heated and sweaty. “I need to– please let me cum!” you shouted as her relentless movements never stopped. You didn't want it to ever stop.

“Come on, make a mess all over my dick, baby.” she moaned loudly as she felt your walls clench around her girth. “Fuck! Nat– Nat.. Tasha- Natasha fuck!” You cried out in euphoria as you came crashing down all over her cock. “You did so good.. fuck. You're so pretty. My pretty girl.” she murmured hushed praises as she slammed back into your cunt. “mm..” you were too fucked out and tired to respond, just allowing your wife to have her way with you. “Oh, shit. I'm gonna cum.” she whined as she saw a visible bulge poking through your stomach, only driving her off the edge quicker. “Fucking hell..” her eyes screwed shut as she felt her reaching her peak.

“Gonna fill you up.. f-fuck– make you a mommy again. Hm?” you nodded feverishly, “y-yes! Cum inside me, Natty!” you softly moaned as she came deep inside you, keeping her position still without pulling out. “mmh..” she panted as her head rested on your chest, your hand lazily ran tender strokes through her red hair. “You tired big guy?” you felt a faint heartbeat and soft breathing against your chest. “What's with Romanoff's and sleeping..?” you yawned as her hold on your body grew tighter. “Goodnight, darling..” you pressed a light kiss on the top of her hair as you, too, fell asleep shortly after.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha marvel #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanov x reader

[natasharomanoffismywife]

I'm Not Like Everybody Else (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

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Word Count:825

Natasha Romanoff POV

“I’m bored Tasha… spar with me?”

“No”

“Watch a movie with me?”

“No”

“But I’m boreddd Natasha… you need to entertain me!”

“Go annoy your girlfriend Yelena, I am not moving from this spot for the rest of today. It’s my only rest day I’ve had in the last 2 weeks so please just let me do nothing in peace.” I say to my frustrated sister, having just come back from back-to-back missions I am addiment on not moving for the duration of my day off today.

“ugh Kate Bishop is busy with old man Barton today and I really can’t be bothered to be nice to him at the moment, I have to much energy for that.” Yelena groans as she slumps down onto the sofa next to me, I can’t help smirking at the little nickname she has for Clint something that I will have to repeat back to him at some point.

I go to answer Yelena but the noise of the common room door opening and an unfamiliar female voice grabs my attention, both myself and Lena turn to face the newcomer who is walking beside a smiling Steve and once my eyes meet her e/c ones I instantly am blown away by her natural beauty.

“Hey Nat, Yelena, please meet our new team member Y/N L/N. She’s come highly recommended by Hill and Fury so please make her feel welcome” Steve informs us with a smile on his face, I hear Yelena introduce herself with a nice welcome but I am not paying attention to what she is saying instead I am taken back by the blinding smile that adorns our newcomers face.

“Hey L/N nice to meet you, looks like Thor has competition for being the best-looking Avenger” I finish my sentence with a cheeky wink, my smirk falls slightly when I notice that Y/n was not blushing like most women would and judging by the little chuckle coming from the annoying blonde next to me it seems Yelena has noticed that as well.

I watch as Y/n gives me a polite smile before being ushered out of the room by a talkative Steve, I follow the girl with my eyes and once she is out of my eye line, I turn to Yelena who seems to be dying of laughter.

“Oh my god! She didn’t even say anything! Wow Nat you seem to have lost your touch” I roll my eyes at the tease before punching my sister hard in the arm, grinning victoriously I turn and walk out of the room leaving my pouting sister all alone.

That first meeting was about 3 months ago and it’s safe to say my attempts at flirting with Y/n has not gone down well, I have been using my trademark Romanoff charm and all I get is a smile and a nod not someone who giggles and fawns over me like everyone else does and I have had enough!

I stomp to Y/n’s bedroom and after knocking on the door I am greeted with a warm smile, something that instantly makes me melt into a puddle. I gaze into her e/c eyes fully aware that I am sporting a dreamy smile but I couldn’t care less, I am happy to be in the presence of this goddess.

“Are you alright Natasha? You’ve not moved since I’ve opened the door?” A look of concern etched onto Y/n’s face as she softly speaks to me, I am snapped back into reality at her voice and not thinking I just go for it.

“Why don’t you respond to my flirting? I am trying my hardest to get you like me but you aren’t giving me anything! I am giving you the Black Widow treatment most people would kill for that!” I vomit out, I cringe to myself as I am speaking but I just can’t stop myself.

“I’m not like everyone else I don’t respond to flirting; I much prefer to spend time with a person and get to know them. I don’t want the Black Widow; I want to know the real Natasha Romanoff.” Y/n softly says making me nod along with her words, how dumb am I? why didn’t I think about this.

“I’m sorry Y/n I’ve spent my whole life around people who just want the Black Widow that I didn’t think some people would want to know Natasha instead. Can we start over? Hi my name is Natasha Romanoff” I say with a soft smile, I put my hand out in front of me and I squeal internally when I feel the soft hand of Y/n slip inside it.

“Nice to meet you Natasha, my name is Y/n L/n pleasure to make your acquaintance.”  Y/n softly tells me with a big smile on her face.

“Would you do me the honour of coming out to dinner with me tonight?”

“I couldn’t think of anything better Romanoff”

#i'm not like everybody else #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #scarlett johansson x reader #avengers fanfiction #natasha romanoff

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 8 (MBJ x OC)

A/N: This gif has nothing to do with anything other than I thought it was hot as fuck... and baby boy gets a little... rough and ruthless this chapter (in a good way LOL) Enjoy!

***

Michael’s hand lazily grazed the length of Raven’s spine as they laid in bed, limbs tangled and sheets disheveled from their wild night together. It was their first night back since their trip and jet lag spurred Michael to finally introduced ropes into their play and fuck, Raven had been in heaven. Of course, now her body was sore and aching from hanging from his set up and the only plans she had the next day were to sleep. But it was worth every ache and pain she felt and she would gladly sign up for it over and over and over again. 

“You ever think about marriage… kids?” Michael asked, knowing the question was random but it had been on his mind since before it was appropriate to envision that life with her. And with whatever Tasha had planned barreling down on him, something in him yearned to know that she saw a future with him, that she wanted a future with him. 

“Yea. I mean I didn’t think it would happen for me. I think about marriage a lot. Kids are… tough,” she muttered, her nails grazing against his skin, so lightly it made him feel almost ticklish. 

“You’re afraid of not being there for them?” 

Raven shifted uncomfortably on his chest. She rested her head against his heart, the soft thumps of his heartbeat soothing to the anxiety coursing through her. She had thought about all of these things with Michael but it was still impossible to believe she truly deserved them, that he truly wanted them with her. And she hated how easily he saw through her, saw her deepest fears and insecurities as if she had just spelled them out for him. 

“Yea, I guess… I wouldn't wish my life on any kid and there’s a lot of all this we have no control over. How much time… when yours is up. It’s always been hard to think about the future though… plan for it. I’ve just always felt like I was being chased and assumed that one day it would catch up to me? This is the first time in my life I don’t feel that… since I met you. So now I suppose I should think about the future.” She paused. “I think I’d like it… not sure how good I’d be at it. Being a mother. Your mom is the closest example I have of a good one. But the chance to build my own family? One with all the things I never had, all the things a child deserves? Yea, it would be nice.” 

“What do you think about building that family… with me?”

Raven perked up, shocked to hear those words come out of his mouth. She did not know why but she had not considered the conversation taking this turn for some reason. The idea of him wanting to marry her was about as foolish as wishing diamonds to cascade from the sky like rain. It just was not realistic. 

“In my wildest fantasies. But…” her voice trailed off.

“What?” 

“I love you… adore you. But I guess there’s still a piece of me that doesn’t believe this is real. That believes you’ll wake up one day and remember that I was the girl you paid to have sex with you. You know… can’t turn a whore into a housewife. And you wouldn’t be wrong, I’m not exactly wifey material. And hell, I’m probably the last person you should want raising your kids. Not a role model, nothing to aspire to. My life is a mess.” 

Michael knew a few months would not undo years of self deprecation but it felt like a physical wound to hear her count herself out like this. How could she not see how perfect she was? How amazing she was? 

“You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that, baby. And should give yourself more credit. You are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, you’re a survivor, hardworking, gentle, nurturing. That’s everything I want in a wife… and a mother for my children. You’re so much more than whatever your dad or idiot sister convinced you were. You’re everythin’.” 

“You don’t mean that,” she whispered, turning away her head to face the opposite wall. She could not let herself believe that. They had not been together long and Raven was still waiting for the honeymoon phase to end and the other shoe to drop. She knew he would walk up one day and realize he could not build anything real with her. He would hurt her and disappoint her just like every other person in her life. She desperately desired to be wrong but she also refused to let herself have too much hope. Because of all the things and people she survived in her life, Michael was the one thing she knew had the power to actually destroy her. 

He pulled her deeper into his chest and kissed her forehead tenderly. “Aint ever told you shit I didn’t mean, baby girl. And I get why you don’t believe it or trust it. But I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. I’m here for the long haul, we’re gonna build that life together, I promise.” 

Her response felt lodged in her throat, too painful to release into the space. She tried to get them out but saying them out loud would make them too real. So she just pressed her lips into his chest before turning over and closing her eyes. She knew she did not need to say anything for Michael to know how she felt. He always knew. 

As he watched her attempt to sleep, Michael thought about his meeting the next day with Alex. He had spent his entire trip and tonight so wrapped up in his girl that he almost forgot Tasha was threatening to destroy their bubble. He had to figure out what to do because he saw that future with Raven as clear as day and no one and nothing would stand in his way. 

***

“I can’t believe you,” Alex muttered to herself as she paced around her office. “You know… one day, I would just love it if you summoned me or came down here with good news. You saved a fuckin’ family of puppies from a would-be murderer, helped an old lady cross the road, saved someone from a burning building… solved fuckin’ world hunger and told someone. But nooooooooo. It’s never that. It’s always some problem because you literally can’t keep your fuckin’ dick to yourself. Have you ever heard of masturbation?? O-Or a fuckin’ fleshlight??” 

Michael groaned as she ranted about his recklessness and foolishness.

“So you gon’ keep yellin’ at me or tell me how to fix this?” 

Alex scoffed. “Fixing the fact that you got involved with, not one, but TWO prostitutes, proceeded to fall in love with one of them like this is some nigga’s version of Pretty Woman, causing the other prostitute to get so jealous, she is extorting you for money is so far above my pay grade, it isn’t even funny.” 

“The amount I pay you?? Ain’t shit above your pay grade,” Michael muttered under his breath. “Look, I don’t know why you’re mad at me! I’m the victim here. Blackmail is a crime!” 

Alex could not keep the shrill laughter that bubbled to her lips from spilling over. “Oh fuck off. ‘I’m the victim,’” she mimicked with a vicious glare. “You're not the victim. You’re the fuckin’ unserious superstar idiot I’ve saddled my entire career to. But you sure as fuck aren’t the victim. The only victim here will be Raven. And me when I die prematurely from dealing with your bullshit. But mainly Raven when this girl tells the entire world she made her living getting paid for sex. They’ll rip her to shreds. You wouldn’t understand it because you’re a man and your privilege insulates you. You’ll be a punchline on late night tv for a few weeks and move on but she won’t come back from this. The world won’t let her come back from it.” 

“Didn’t come for a feminism 101 lecture, Alex. I know this fucks her over more than me. How do we fix it??” 

Alex threw her hands up in the air. “Fuck if I know? This is why I don’t like PR relationships, Michael. It always falls apart eventually, secrets don’t last in our world. To be honest, if it’s gonna come out anyway, I'd just admit the truth about how you met before Tasha could. You could own the narrative that way at least. But Raven isn’t going to agree to that, no woman in her shoes would.”

“So aside from giving her more money, how can I stop this?” 

“Wait more money? You already gave her some?” 

Michael shrugged. “Yea like $10k. Why?” 

Alex shook her head. “Well she’s not gonna stop at $10k. Honestly, that’s light work for how much I would’ve demanded. Now we’re dealin’ with a fucking stupid extortionist too.” She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “Eventually, it won’t be money she wants, Mike. She wants you and if you don’t want her, then I don’t know how to fix this.” she paused. “What did Raven say about all this?” 

Michael grimaced. “I… haven’t told her.” 

Alex’s eyes grew wide. “Annndd that’s why you schlepped your stupid ass all the way down here instead of having me come to you. You can’t keep this from her. It’s her name and reputation that’ll get dragged to hell and back if Tamara or whatever this fuckin girl’s name is, decides to skip her happy criminal ass to Page 6. You have to tell her, Michael, and let her know that you’re still in contact with this woman. I can sell water to fish in the goddamn ocean, I can spin anything out there. But I won’t be able to mend your relationship if she gets upset that you lied. Tell her and get ahead of this.” 

“I need a plan first. Raven is the strongest person I know, don’t get me wrong. But she’s been through too much shit for me to dump a problem I created on her doorstep. No one… no one in her life protects her. Protects her feelings and body and…” he ran his hand over his face. “I tried countless times since we got back but she’s finally happy, Alex. Finally has some peace. Is it that wrong for me to just pay Tasha and keep it movin’? Raven never even needs to know.” 

“It’s not wrong… the instinct isn’t wrong but it’s not right either when that peace is fiction. It’s not real, Michael. She deserves to know something that affects her life as much, frankly more than yours. Your reputation will recover, it always does. I’m not sure hers will. And maybe she would… make a different choice about your relationship if she knew that.” 

“You want her to leave me?” 

Alex raised her hands in surrender at his sharp tone. “No. I don’t want her to leave you. I actually really like her, certainly more than the other idiot instagram girls you paraded around here as your girlfriends. She did what I thought nothing could… she turned you into a serious person. But… maybe you two do need a break until this Tasha person is willing to let you go. She might decide that protecting her name, her peace… her ability to move through life without a modern scarlet A on her chest is more important than whatever feelings, however strong, she has for you. And you… your directorial debut is out in March. We’re about to start a press run in a month. Award season starts next Sunday, for which you are a highly anticipated nominee. Any scandal detracts from the biggest moment of your career. Look, I’m not telling you to do anything. But I am saying, it’s the only path I see that doesn’t destroy you both. And if you love her as much as you say you do, you’d take the short term hit to save her. Or at least present it as an option.”  

Michael heard everything she said and in his heart, he knew she was right. But what she was asking? His heart and soul would not allow him to do it.

“I can’t lose her, Alex. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I won’t lose her. I know Tash… she’s all bark, no bite. I give her some attention and throw some cash her way and this’ll all blow over.” 

Alex sized him up for a few moments before shrugging. “Well I hope for Raven’s sake, and mine, you know what you’re doing.” 

“I know what I’m doin’, Alex. I promise.” Michael knocked his knuckles against her desk before standing up to leave. 

“Are you really that good at sex?” she mused, glancing at him up and down as if she was trying to imagine it for herself. “I just can’t imagine anyone, especially a man, is good enough in bed to warrant all this.” 

“I know it ain’t your cup of tea,” he offered with a wink. “But what can I say? I’m blessed with hella talents.” 

Alex rolled her eyes. “Alright, well get your hella talented ass outta my office.” However, before he left, she called out. “Oh! The Golden Globes… need to know if you’re taking Raven so they can finalize the sitting chart.” 

Michael rolled his eyes. His least favorite part about his job: award season. An unbearable time of year made worse by the fact that he was nominated at every single one save the Tonys this year. He did not have the energy or desire to sit for hours on end, starving and be forced to smile and wave and pretend to be happy if he lost. But he knew the unbearable practice would be made a bit more bearable if Raven was by his side while he did it. 

“Shit. All this shit goin’ on since New Years, forgot to ask her. Tell them she’s goin’. I just gotta get them to pull her a dress and shit. Thanks for the reminder.” 

And with that, he started to walk out. As he reached his car, he pulled out his phone and texted Tasha to meet him at the St. Regis tomorrow night at 10. He was going to end this as soon as possible. 

***

Michael paced the length of his hotel room, wearing a hole in the carpet as he went. 

“This is a bad idea,” he mumbled to himself a couple of times. But this was the least of about 100 bad ideas in his mind and it was the only bad idea that protected his girlfriend’s peace. He knew Alex was right and it was wrong but he was determined to keep Raven as far from this situation as possible. 

However, even he had to admit to himself that his reasoning was not just to protect her peace. He also did not want to admit that he had still had conversations with Tasha before they were official, that he had made promises to her and then broke them. Raven was one of the few people on this planet who saw him as a good person and he refused to ruin that image. Protecting Raven and, selfishly, how she looked at him was all that mattered to him. What people said about him in the media and on Twitter did not. 

A soft knock on his door jolted him out of his thoughts and his limbs to move. He felt uncomfortable even meeting Tasha here but she had demanded their first meeting be in person. So here he was. 

When he opened the door, Tasha leaned against the door frame with a triumphant smirk painted on her face. A year ago, he would have pulled her inside and tore her clothes off with lightning speed. But today? He had never been less attracted to someone in his life, less enthused to see someone.

“Hey baby.” 

Her arms snaked around his broad shoulders as she leaned in for a kiss. A kiss that Michael artfully and skillfully dodged. He twisted out of her embrace and pulled her into his hotel room, sparing a quick glance down the long hotel hallway to ensure no prying eyes lurked before slamming the door shut.

“You don’t seem happy to see me, baby.” 

Michael could hear the teasing in her voice, could tell she enjoyed whatever power trip she currently had over him. 

“Why would I be happy to see someone blackmailin’ and threatenin’ me?” he mumbled just loud enough for her to hear him. 

“Forcing you to follow through with the promises you made to me is hardly blackmail.” She sat down on the edge of the expansive bed and leaned back slightly on her hands. 

Michael had hoped to keep this “meeting” as brief as possible. He did not want to be in a room with her for any longer than he needed to. He walked over to the bed and grabbed two envelopes he had sat on the bedside table. He tossed the thicker one, filled with cash, at her before walking across the room and leaning on the desk to watch her. 

“Another $10k at your request. Now, tell me a number.”

“A number for what?” she asked innocently. 

“A number big enough to get you to sign this,” he tossed another envelope at her. “Standard NDA and an agreement not to contact me or Raven again.” 

Tasha let out a low humorless chuckle. “All this… for that basic nobody. You never did a fraction of this shit for me…” she mused as she unfolded the papers and read them silently. 

Michael scoffed. “I did everything we agreed to. Flew you out, bought you more shit than I could count. The only thing Raven got that you didn’t was my heart and I’m not apologizin’ for that. What we had was business, Tash. And our business needs to end now. So what’s the number?” 

Tasha stared at him for a few minutes before discarding them on the bed. “Fine. I’ll deal. $50k and one more night. The two of us. And I’ll sign them. That’s the price.” 

“Not happenin’, name a number.” 

Tasha merely shrugged. “Nope. You want me out of your life? That’s the price. Both things.” 

“Why? Let’s cut the bullshit, Tash. You don’t love me, you don’t want me. You want my money. So name a higher number.” 

“You’re absolutely right. I don’t love you… I’m not Raven, an idiot who falls for the first client I get. I love your money and the comfort it provides. But one thing I don’t like is disrespect. You dropped me out in the cold with no warning like two years of fucking you meant nothing. Like I meant nothing. So yea, maybe months ago, it would’ve just been about the money. But now, it’s about so much more than that.” 

“So what? You blackmail me into fuckin’ you one more time and it proves what?” 

Tasha laughed. “Doesn’t prove anything except that you ain’t shit, which I already knew. I don’t need proof of anything. See you and Raven were built on a lie and honestly, watching the two of you fall the fuck apart will bring me far more joy than a couple extra bucks. Fuck me and the guilt will eat that good boy you bury deep inside alive. Eventually, you’ll crack and Raven’ll find out. Or I dunno, maybe I’ll tell her. Either way, I could smell the insecurities on that girl from a mile away. She’ll never forgive you and your relationship falls apart. Don’t fuck me and I tell the world you did anyway and that she was a prostitute. And then your relationship definitely falls apart when her life gets ruined. Either way, I get cash, you end up alone and Raven learns what so many girls before also learned the hard way: don’t fuck with what’s mine. I was thinking of calling TMZ the week of the Oscars? That’ll sure spice up the biggest week of your career. Or maybe right before the Creed III premiere… any preference?” At his silence, she merely shrugged. “Well, just let me know. Feel free to keep booking this room for us until you decide. I always liked this view.” 

As Michael watched her, he quickly realized how he wholly underestimated her in every possible way. This was not a woman who was willing to let him go. Ever. And both of his “choices” were specifically designed to hurt Raven. There was no scenario where she came out of it unscathed. And it was really all his fault. Had he simply cut Tasha off at the onset or been smarter about how he handled her, they would not be in this mess. 

Michael stood and walked toward the door. 

“I’ll call you to book our time next week. Maybe you’ll change your mind. Or maybe I’ll change my mind and call TMZ before then,” she called after him as Michael slammed the door behind them. 

As he stood in the barren hotel hallway, he resisted the urge to punch a hole in the wall before his security whisked him away to the service elevator to take him outside to his car. He was thankful Alex had been willing to book the hotel under her name and credit card. He would not have considered it originally but after that conversation, he would not have put it past Tasha to add the hotel receipt to her arsenal of blackmail. 

He slammed the door of his jeep with such force even Allen jumped slightly at the sound. 

“My bad,” he mumbled as he slouched back into his seat. He could not remember the last time something had frustrated him to this degree. He was fucked. They were fucked. Tasha had him by the balls and he knew there was no move that would get him out of this mess without throwing Raven under the bus. 

He refused to cheat on Raven. Not just because he knew it would just give Tasha another thing to hold over him but because that was simply not him. He played the role of the bad boy, terrible guy but the one line he had never crossed with a girlfriend in his life was to cheat on her. He knew that pain intimately and he vowed to never inflict it on someone else. He had never even been tempted to cheat. And Raven would certainly not be the woman he broke that vow on. 

And because he knew he would never sleep with Tasha or any woman who was not Raven again, there was no end to this in sight. He would just have to sit and wait for her to lob a grenade and blow up his girlfriend’s life. And that made him feel like more of a failure than any flopped movie or failed deal ever had. He was supposed to be the one person in her life that protected her and he had failed her, just like everyone else. 

“Bad night, Mr. Jordan?” Allen called from the front seat. 

“Somethin’ like that.” He sighed. “Fucked up and not sure it’s fixable.” 

Allen glanced back in the rearview mirror and nodded. “Is it not fixable or do you just not like the consequences of fixing it?” 

Michael bowed his head. He adored Allen but lately, he hated him and his meddling, correct but unsolicited advice. However, he would never say that to him.

“Mixture of both. Really just no way to fix it that doesn’t hurt someone I love.”

“Raven?” 

“That transparent, huh?” 

Allen smiled to himself. “You always were, sir. If all the answers hurt her, then you have to decide which path causes the least harm to her. And then you just hope she forgives you when it’s over. That’s all you can do. Or you find another path that doesn’t.” 

Michael’s head thudded against his seat’s headrest. He knew Allen was right, just as Alex had been. There was no fixing this situation, no silver bullet that would solve all of their problems and save Raven’s reputation in the process. All roads led to the same destination: the world finding out he and Raven lied. But there was one path that bypassed Tasha, put more of the media focus on him and his terrible decisions, and allowed him to control the when, where, and how of it all. And it did not hurt that this particular path would also allow him to hold Tasha accountable for all her shit in the process. 

“Thanks, Allen.” 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and found Alex’s number. It was late but she was, thankfully, just as much of a night owl as he was. 

“Finish your date with your favorite extortionist?” Alex joked as she picked up the phone. He could hear her munching on something as she spoke, likely popcorn. 

“You always got jokes. Listen… I think you were right earlier. Let’s control the narrative.” 

He could hear her shifting around as if she were sitting up at his words. “Ok, I’m intrigued. Raven? You gonna ask her what she thinks?” 

He shook his head. “Nah. If we do it right, she never needs to know.”

***

It was after midnight by the time Michael arrived back home. However, he and Alex had worked out a foolproof plan during the drive. A plan they felt would allow Michael to take the biggest hit while Raven’s name would be a mere footnote by any reporter who doesn’t want to be accused of misogyny. It did all hinge on Tasha dragging out her games for longer than a week. But Michael had a feeling she would. She clearly enjoyed watching him squirm. They’d get past the Golden Globes and then he would seek help from someone whose only motivation in this world was money, someone who - for the right price - would do exactly what he asked.  

He said a quick goodnight to Allen before running up the stairs to his master bedroom. He was surprised to find Raven curled up on his side of the bed, her face buried in his pillow. Her preferred sleeping position was literally on top of him and he knew, when he wasn’t home, this was the best she could get. 

He laughed lightly at her kindle which was half hanging out of her hand, the young woman clearly having fallen asleep reading. She had not even put her scarf on the giant pineapple of curls on her head or taken off her reading glasses, which told him she had tried her hardest to stay awake till he got home. He watched her, like a creep admittedly, for several minutes before he moved. 

He had never felt love like this a day in his life. He had always accepted that he would never find it, never find someone who could and would love him unconditionally. But she did, she loved him even though he was not sure he deserved it. And everytime she looked at him, touched him, curled into his side to sleep, he felt the depths of it in his very being. Their love was pure and he refused to let anyone taint it. 

He moved as quietly as possible to the bed and took the kindle out of her hand and slid her glasses off. Thankfully, she slept like a rock. However, she only stirred as he tried to gently tie her scarf around her edges to protect her hair. She stretched and let out a deep but insanely cute yawn as she blinked a few times. 

“H-Hey babe. S-sorry, I tried to wait for you.” 

Michael leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “Don’t apologize. I didn’t mean to wake you. Just knew you’d be pissed if you woke up with no scarf on.” 

She chuckled. “You’re right about that. H-How was your dinner meeting?” 

“Fine,” he waved his hand dismissively. He hated that he had lied to her but it was the only excuse he could think of that did not bring more questions. Raven was generally inquisitive but she tended to understand the often secret nature of some roles and Hollywood meetings so she did not often pry for information he did not offer up. “Might have a role for me but shit is still in flux. We’ll probably need to meet again to iron out some details.” 

She nodded as she forced herself into a seated position. “I’ll never understand you Hollywood types. Who wants to have a dinner meeting at 10 pm?” 

“Logistics are easier for later dinners. It’s a whole thing.” He rolled his shoulders a bit, the tension of the day making his entire body ache. 

“You ok? You seem so tense, baby.” 

He studied her for a moment, taking in the genuine care on her face. So few people looked at him like that, like a human with needs and feelings. They just saw him as a product to sell or an ATM to get their needs met. But not Raven, never Raven. Even when he was quite literally paying her to be there. She saw him for him. And in that moment, he realized how close he was to losing that, how at risk this precious peace they both had found was. And that terrified him. Losing her terrified him. And he knew that whatever path he chose, that was the risk. And that filled him with such an overwhelming sense of dread. 

He rarely felt overwhelmed by his own feelings. But right then, he felt like he could not even think straight enough to answer that simple question. And he knew that simple question was his out, his chance to tell her the truth about what tension he was feeling and why.  

So instead of speaking, he used his impeccable strength to pull her into his lap. Her fingers played in the coarse hair of his beard as he stared at her, concern filling her eyes as she took in the solemn and stressed look in his.  

“Hey… baby… what’s wrong?” 

“N-Nothin’. Nothin’,” he lied, his courage deflating like a popped balloon. As soon as the words left his mouth, his lips crashed into hers, stealing her breath right out of her mouth. He could not talk, could not have a conversation. He just needed to feel her, all of her. 

He could not bring himself to do it, to ask her for her permission to do what he knew had to be done. All roads led to the same destination and this was the only one he could see that left them with the least amount of bruises. He did not have the heart to tell her that the only path forward for them was to destroy her reputation now or have Tasha do it later. He did not have the heart to tell her he failed her, that he could not protect her from this. 

Raven could feel everything in that kiss, his own stress and tension and pain. She wondered if more had gone on tonight at his meeting than he was willing to let on. Typically, Michael was the emotional rock, holding her up and giving her space to fall apart. But tonight, she was reminded that sometimes the strong ones need that too. 

She broke off their kiss to catch her breath before whispering, “Take what you need.” 

Michael rested his forehead against hers. “You sure?” 

“Consider me your stress ball,” she joked with a half smile. “Do your worst. I trust you.”

Trust you don’t deserve, a cold voice inside hurled at him. 

Michael said nothing as he flipped Raven over onto her stomach. There was no love or sweetness in the way he handled her as he arranged her lethargic limbs in the position he desired, ass high and face pressed into his comforter. He did not give her any warning as he sheathed himself inside her with one thrust, Raven squealing at the sudden and rough intrusion. 

“Fuckkkkkkkk,” she moaned as he bottomed out inside her. She did not understand how his size and girth still managed to leave her breathless. 

“You always this wet for me, baby?” 

“Y-Yes,” she whimpered as he gave her a brief moment to adjust to him. 

“Yes what?” he demanded with a sharp and painful slap against her plump ass. “Yes daddy,” she amended quickly. She could already tell she would be bruised and sore by the time he was done with her. But she could not hope to care. Whatever he needed, she would gladly give. 

They rarely did quickies, Michael enjoyed the warm up far too much to skip it. But tonight, he needed the adrenaline of rough, uninhibited fucking. He needed to hear her screams, the slaps of his hips against her ass. Needed to feel the soft skin of her hips beneath his hand as he rammed into her. He needed to let go of the stress of the last 48 hours with the woman he loved, let go of the feelings of objective failure he felt. He needed to get lost in her. 

Raven was in pure bliss as Michael fucked her at a pace and intensity she had rarely seen from him. She could not even keep up with him to match his thrusts into her. All she could do was lay there and scream out as he took her. 

“Shit, shit. J-just like that,” she moaned as his hands dug into her skin. Her fingers curled around the softness of his comforter as she used it to muffle the screams of her orgasm.  

“Fuck, this pussy feels so good gripping my dick, baby. That’s right, cum for daddy.” 

Her body instinctively shied away from the overwhelming feelings of pleasure and pain he provided, causing his grip to only grow tighter so she could not escape him, as if she would disappear right before his eyes if he loosened his grip on her at all. 

“The fuck you runnin’ for?? You said do my worst right? So take this dick!” His voice was commanding as he spanked her, the sound reverberating around his bedroom. 

“I-It’s too m-much,” she moaned out as she felt another orgasm start to build. 

“You can take it. I know you can. Be a good girl for me.” 

Hearing the words “good girl” on his lips were almost enough to make her orgasm right then on the spot. 

Her upper body collapsed as another orgasm hit her like a train of endless ecstasy. Only Michael’s brute strength held her up as he chased his own release. Her body felt like putty in his hands, completely pliant and under his control. 

“You gonna cum again for me, baby?” he demanded. 

Raven felt as if he was fucking her into another dimension, was she even on Earth anymore? She could barely form thoughts let alone words to answer his questions. And as the silence stretched on and only her moans and squeals punctuated the sound of his thrusts, Michael knew she needed an incentive to remember the rules. 

He wrapped his fist in her hair, which had unceremoniously fallen out of her scarf and pulled her up so her back was flush against his body. He wrapped his hand around her throat and squeezed lightly, loving how Raven’s eyes rolled back into her head and a long moan escaped her. He noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks and almost wondered if he was pushing her too far. 

“Need me to stop?” he asked quietly, not slowing down his pace or movement as he asked. 

Despite how overwhelmed and exhausted she felt, Raven could not comprehend the idea of him stopping. She had offered him this and she wanted it too. “D-don’t stop… p-please don’t stop.” 

“Ok then. When daddy asks you somethin’, you fuckin’ answer!” 

He let her body fall forward before he started spanking her with every ounce of strength he had. The pain radiated through her entire body but it was a delicious hurt, one she wished she could have all the time. Michael’s spankings were one of her favorite parts of their sex life. But now she knew that he was holding back some of his strength on her account. And she did not want that ever again. If this was him totally uninhibited and unrestrained, she would be his stress ball every day of the week.

She shook her head as tears slowly trekked down her face. “I-I c-can’t…” 

Whether that was to convey that she could not speak or couldn’t come again, Michael did not know nor did not care. Until he heard a safeword cross her lips, he would drain them both of everything they collectively had. 

“Yea, you can. Cause daddy demands it.” 

His fingers found their way to her clit and roughly circled it, Raven’s entire body tensing as she reached her peak for the third time. He thanked the good lord he had had the forethought to soundproof his bedroom when he built this house years ago. That way he nor his parents had to be scarred for life. But even he wondered if her screams of pleasure would test the limits of that particular design feature. 

However, they were the perfect symphony that pushed him right over the edge. He increased his pace, as if that were possible, hammering into her before he pressed her hips tightly against his form as he came inside her with a loud moan of his own. He collapsed next to her prone form for a moment as he tried to catch his breath. 

He ran his hand through her hair, the young woman letting out a soft, appreciative whimper that acknowledged his touch and gentleness but let him know she was utterly spent.

He pushed himself out of bed and started a bath, adding some epsom salt to the water in hopes that would soothe whatever aches he caused. He returned to his bed and rubbed her back to get her attention. 

“Bath,” he whispered, before he scooped her up into his arms as if she were a small child. He carried her into the bathroom and quickly redid her hair and scarf before settling her into the tub.

A moan slipped past her lips as the hot water surrounded her limbs. Michael positioned himself behind her, his arm pressed into her breasts to keep her flush to his chest.  

“Was I too rough?” 

Her heart warmed at the question. She would not have offered her body to him if she had not wanted rough but she appreciated that he still cared enough about her to check in, during and after. 

“No, I love it when you get lost in it. But you’re sure you’re ok?” 

“Yea… think the stress of the awards and the press tour next month are just getting to me. I’m good, babe.” A cop out but it was all he could offer. 

Though it was difficult to get her limbs to move properly, she shifted so she could turn around and look at him. She chewed on her lip for a moment before saying, “You’d tell me if… something was wrong, right? Like you’re always there for me and my problems, listening and fixing. A-and well… I know I can’t like fix whatever it is or anything or probably even understand it. But I hope you know you can trust me with stuff. I just d-don’t want you to think you can’t… if you ever need to o-or - ” 

Michael leaned forward and captured her lips, silencing the sweet ramblings his girl was known for. 

“Yea I know, baby.”

He felt her entire body sort of deflate with relief before she settled back against his chest. 

“Good. I’m glad.” 

They sat in silence as Michael’s hands slowly and methodically massaged her body, starting at her shoulders and working their way down at a deliciously slow but tantalizing pace. He took his time, kneading each of her muscles until the ache she felt subsided. His hands were massaging her thighs, which was doing more to work her up than calm her down, when Michael 

“Be my date on Sunday.” He kissed her on the neck. 

“Sunday? What’s on Sunday?” she asked, not even opening her eyes as she enjoyed the work of the Lord Almighty he was doing on her thighs. 

“The Globes.” 

Raven immediately pushed off of his chest in shock. An award show? Those glittery and glamorous programs she had watched as a kid? 

What’s my fucking life right now?? She asked herself as it hit her, for the first time, that things like this would be a regular occurrence now that she and Michael were serious. This was the big leagues and she was going to be standing right beside him. 

“The Globes… as in THE Golden Globes?? You’re kidding right?” 

He laughed at the look of utter shock on her face. “Yes, those Globes. And nah, why would I joke about that shit? I want the sexiest woman in the world on my arm when I win.” 

Michael did not want to be ruled by fear of when Tasha would lob her grenade at them, if she even had the chance. They deserved to just have a fun and extravagant night out together. This would be the biggest night of his career and if their names were going to be thrown into a scandal either way, he could at least enjoy a night out with Raven before it does. 

Raven shook her head, though her heart and childish brain screamed at her for doing so. Why was she pushing back? Every fiber of her being just wanted her to yell “YES, YES, YES!” 

“B-But what about your parents?? Maybe you should take one of them o-or your siblings? I mean I’d love to go. Like seriously THE Golden Globes with like every entertainer I adore and love? But this is such a big moment in your career. Don’t you want to spend it with… I dunno, the people who’ve been there for the ride? I just got here,” she chuckled. “Don’t ask me out of some obligation. If there’s someone else you’d prefer, I won’t be offended. I didn’t expect an invite to all these anyway, you know? Figured you take family or your friends or someone more important to you… What if you look back and regret not taking one of them? You should -” 

“Babe!” he cut her off, his palm cradling her cheek to keep her gaze on him.. “You said all that in one breath. Breathe for me, baby girl.” Raven appreciated that he could always see when she was spiraling and stop it. She forced air into her lungs before nodding for him to speak. “My family’s been to hella award shows, they’ve seen as many of them as a single person could ever want to. But even if they hadn’t, you’re the most important person to me right now. So I want to look out if I win and see you there. You are the most important person in my life.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“Wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t, promise.” 

“Then yes. I’d love to.” She turned fully and straddled his hips, kissing him deeply. Her hips instinctively grinded against him, a smile gracing her features as she felt his cock start to grow hard beneath him. She did not care that he fucked her into near oblivion a mere 10 minutes ago. Just him offering to take her to the biggest award show of his career to date filled her with such joy and happiness. And now, she had no interest in going to sleep. Now? She just needed more. More of him and his love, attention, and care. 

“Not too sore, baby girl?” he asked as he pulled one of her nipples in between his lips and sucked gently before biting the swell of her breast, Raven’s head falling back with a small cry. 

“Never… I need you,” she whispered in his ear as she sucked on the soft skin of his neck. “Please.” 

“Get up here and ride daddy’s dick.” 

Raven did not need to be told twice as she positioned herself over him and slid down. 

“Enjoy it cause then it’s my turn again.” He winked at her with the most wicked glint in his eyes that let Raven know she would not sleep for hours. 

***

“So how does it feel? Mr. Golden Globe winner??” Raven asked for the 100th time as she and Michael walked back into the condo. The condo was really only used now when they were at events super late. And staying out until 3 am meant neither of them were all too interested in making the trek back to his home. 

Michael chuckled, “The same way it felt 10 minutes ago, Rae.” 

She gave herself a playful facepalm. “I’m sorry, I’m being annoying. I’m just so excited for you! I mean tonight was amazing and magical and you were amazing and everyone was literally singing your praises. And I’m just…” she turned and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. “I’m really proud of you. No one deserves this moment more.” 

“Thank you. It was even better with you by my side.” 

Raven let out a childlike squeal as Michael picked her up in his arms, her after party dress bunched up in his hands. However, before she could tell him to be careful of the fabric, he merely smirked. “It’ll be on the floor in a minute. Don’t worry bout that shit.” 

She merely rolled her eyes as he playfully tossed her onto his bed and launched himself on top of her. She let out a loud oof as his weight pushed her deeper into the bed and laughed. 

She moaned as he kissed her before she had to stop him for a brief moment. As much as she loved being glammed up by his team, she could not deny that the full glam and fake lashes they put on her were not as comfortable almost 10 hours later. 

“Let me hang up the dress and wash my face before you ravish me? These lashes are killing me and it’s gonna take me a few minutes to peel these spanx off.” 

He seemed wholly uninterested in letting her do any of those things until the phone in his pants started to ring. He knew only one person who dared to call him this late. The disgruntled huff he pushed out made her cackle but he rolled off of her, allowing her to get up. 

“Fine, I’ll allow it. But only cause Alex would only call this late if it was important.” 

As he answered the phone, she disappeared into the guest room where all of her clothes were stored. She made quick work of stripping down to her panties and ensuring her dress was stowed properly in its garment bag. It had been a delicate yet gorgeous gown and she had not trusted Michael not to accidentally destroy it in his quest to get it off her. She knew he could afford to pay for it but she did not even want to know how much a Valentino dress would set him back.  

She joyfully ripped the fake lashes on her eyes off before washing her face several times to get off all the makeup she had on. She looked stunning, as she always did when his glam team got a hold of her. But she also would rather do this tedious task now than in a few hours when Michael was done with her. 

She thought about slipping into some lingerie as she pulled off her nipple covers. But she figured it would take more time than necessary to put any of it on and Michael would likely just rip it off her within seconds. So she made her way back to his room nearly naked with just her thong on. 

However, when she returned, Michael’s mood was far more subdued than when she left. She raised an eyebrow as she straddled his hips, his hands barely touching her hips, a departure from his usual grip on her. 

“Everything ok?” 

“That was Alex. We… got a problem.” 

“Ok?” 

He rubbed her lower back as he spoke as if that would calm her for whatever was about to come out of his mouth. “She got a call from TMZ that they have a source… that told them about us. How we met and… that we lied to everyone about it. And they are gonna run it sometime tomorrow.” 

Raven scratched her forehead, the joy she felt moments ago dissipating almost immediately. 

This can’t be happening… 

 “W-what?? B-But… N-No, no. She’s… I-is she sure?” 

“Baby, calm down. It’s gonna be ok. Apparently, the angle he took was favorable to you? It doesn’t shame you or anything. It’s just honest about the circumstances of how we met.” 

Raven felt as if her whole world had just come falling down around her as she leapt off his lap. “It’s favorable to me?? That’s a super small comfort w-when you just told me that the entire world is about to find out I was a prostitute, Michael! C-Cause no one’s gonna care that you were date number like 3 in a series of failed dates o-or that you were the first guy to even pay me for sex. They’re just gonna care that I did it. This reporter doesn’t need to shame me when the whole fucking world will.” She paced up and down beside his bed as she tried to will her panic to subside. “I-Is there anyway to stop it?? W-why is this even happening?? I mean it’s been months. Who would even care enough to c-come out and say something now??” 

Michael stood and grabbed her by the arm, he pulled her into his embrace but he knew it would do little to soothe her. “It could’ve been anyone? Employee at the hotel, someone who works for Helen. Alex is trying to find out who and more about the story so we can figure out what to do. And this person probably realized that now, with award season and Creed, would be the most profitable time to release shit about me. I’m sorry, Rae. I should’ve seen this comin’. It’s my fault.” 

The clear guilt in his voice cut through the haze of panic she felt and caused her to stop thinking about herself for a moment. 

Fuck, how selfish are you? A story like this could potentially ruin his career and all she could think about was how it affected her. Michael could lose work and deals and prestige because of a story like this. What did she have to lose? A family that already hated her and she had  cut off? A reputation that, at least in the industry she was once in, was already tarnished? 

“No, d-don’t apologize. I'm sorry. I’m over here freaking out and you’re the one with an actual career to lose. I just… I guess when it didn’t come out initially, I assumed it wouldn’t? A-and I just… freaked out. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make it all about me.” 

“It’s cool. And ok to be upset. I’m used to shit like this… you aren’t. Good thing is, shit like this stays in the news for a few days and then it passes. Alex and I’ll work on a plan tomorrow once it’s out and fix this shit. I promise.” 

All Raven could make herself do was nod as she let her forehead fall onto his bare chest, a sudden wave of exhaustion hitting her. Even with Michael, there was always something. There was no true peace in her life, or least, none that lasted long enough for her to enjoy it. 

An uncomfortable tightness grew in her chest as she realized what was barreling toward them both. And for the first time in a long time, Michael’s arms did not bring her the comfort she needed. In fact, they only added to her stress. She wanted to be with him but she also knew that her presence would be a distraction. He had to figure out the best response for his career without feeling the need to cater to her emotions and she wanted to break down and cry and scream without being worried he would feel guilty. 

Which meant she could not be there with him when this story broke. She needed space and alone time to process this. 

“Do you think Allen could take me home?” she whispered. “I n-need to be alone.” 

“Rae, stay. We should talk about this.” 

She could see the panic bloom in his eyes and it made her adjust her statement. “I’m not m-mad at you, baby.  You don’t have control over who talks to the media and when. I know you would stop it if you could. I just… knowing it’s coming out is a lot to process and I need to do that alone in my own space. And you need to be focused on your career, not me and my feelings. I’ll check in with you tomorrow but I d-don’t want to talk tonight. I just want to be alone.” 

Michael pressed his lips to her forehead before walking over to his dresser and pulling out a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt that she had stored there. He helped her get dressed before calling Allen to come back to take her home. He knew she was not upset with him but he could not help but feel disheartened at how she retreated into herself. He could see all the emotions she felt painted on her face and that made him want to demand she stay so he could help her through it. 

But he knew that was not fair. If she said she needed space, he had to respect that. The reason she was feeling this way was his fault anyway.

“You’re sure you’re gonna be ok? I can come with you?” He tried one last time when Allen texted that he was downstairs. 

“Positive. Just need a couple hours to myself to get my head around everything. I’ll come to the house tomorrow evening after it's out and we can talk. Just give me a few hours, please.” 

He nodded, silently acquiescing to her wishes, despite every piece of him wanting to protest. 

Raven offered him a peck on the lips before heading down in the elevator, desperate to scream or yell or throw something across the room. She supposed she always knew there was a chance it could come out. After all, there were a handful of people that knew the truth. But she had just lulled herself into believing it wouldn’t, that their peace would be safe. 

Her head felt like it was spinning when she finally laid down an hour later in her own bed. She had only taken the time to switch into one of Michael’s sweatshirts that she had commandeered from his house so she could curl up in his scent. She wrapped herself tightly in her blanket and let out a shuddering and shaky breath. 

He’s gonna leave you. A voice finally said the fear that gripped her since he told her the news. She had not wanted to admit it but she knew it was coming. He was going to leave her. 

How could he possibly stay? Why would he want to stay? His entire team would demand he cut ties with her. There was no other option. She knew it and he likely knew it too. His safest bet was likely to paint her as a woman who manipulated him or a gold digger after his money. She spent enough time on social media to know what the media and everyday people would say about her. They’d call her a slut and a whore, never mind that she was only doing what she had to do to survive. That would not matter to them. And then the dogpilling would begin. Some internet detective would find out she was also a stripper and this would give her sister the perfect chance to shame her like she always wanted to. 

‘There are always other options than selling yourself’ they’d say. They’d question his manhood for even wanting to be with her in the first place. And it would not matter that prostitution was the oldest profession in civilization or that Michael was her first real customer. Her doing it with him would be enough for them to brand her with every terrible name women avoid being labeled. 

She hastily wiped away the few tears that fell as she stared at her ceiling. These would be her last few moments of peace in her life and she realized that tonight was likely her last night with Michael. She felt her heart break at the idea. However, she would walk away, she realized. If that was what it took to save him and his career and this moment in his life, she would walk away from him. It would cut her deeper than any wound but she would do it for him if he asked. 

And now, every second felt like a countdown to that moment. When she would arrive at his house tomorrow afternoon and be greeted with the cold slap of rejection. She would just have to prepare herself. 

She reached into her nightstand and pulled out a bottle of old sleeping pills she used to use when she first lost her writing contract. She had struggled so much that her doctor prescribed them. It had been almost a year since she needed them but tonight was an exception. She just wanted to fall into the deep, dreamless sleep they provided so she would not have to sit awake and think about how everything in this world was designed to destroy her. She popped one in her mouth and snuggled up with her pillow while her tears fell, the protective blanket of sleep covering her within minutes. 

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***

A/N: Welp... Michael's keeping secrets, Tasha is smarter (kinda, maybe?) than Michael thought and poor Raven's completely in the dark. Drop a comment and let me know who you think this "source" is and how you think these two are going to react to the article! And so exciting - chapter 9 is like 1/3 done lol so it'll be out in the next two weeks. Would be sooner but I'm on vacation next week. Thanks for reading, commenting, liking... all the things! :)

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #black panther #michael b jordan x reader #michael b jordan fanfic #creed 3 #adonis creed #creed iii

[cinnabunwanda]

Electric love ✰ Natasha Ramnoff ⌇DRABBLES

content warning — fluff only

pairing — fem reader x Natasha Ramnoff

summary — At a party, you and your girlfriend Tasha, dressed in suits, discuss past friendships. After a dull conversation, you call a sitter and express love for her.

word count — 0.3k

Hand in hand, you and your long-time girlfriend Tasha entered the party, a sea of people parting before you. Both of you were dressed sharply in suits, standing out among the more traditionally dressed guests. You made your way towards the center of the room where the hosts of the party stood, Mr. and Mrs. Denler.

"Pardon me, Mrs. Denler, Mr. Denler," you greeted them with a polite smile, "I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend-" Suddenly, you blanked on her name. Panic set in as you leaned back, trying to recall it.

"Babe, what's your name?" you whispered to Tasha urgently. She looked at you in disbelief.

"We've been together for five years," she reminded you, "You literally said it two minutes ago." You rolled your eyes discreetly and turned back to the Denlers with a pained smile.

"No, I know Tasha," you assured them, "I'm not an idiot. But they can't call you that. What's your full name?" Tasha stepped forward confidently and extended her hand.

"Natasha Romanoff," she introduced herself, "Nice to meet you." The couple exchanged a look, clearly taken aback by your relationship.

You glanced at Tasha and then plastered on a smile once again. "Tasha, Mrs. and Mr. Denler were friends of my mother's before she passed away," you explained. "Mrs. Denler used to come for tea and cards every Sunday."

After enduring almost 10 minutes of painfully dull small talk, you discreetly checked the time on your phone before turning to the Denlers with a forced smile.

"If you'll excuse us," you said politely, "Tasha and I need to call our sitter." You grabbed her arm and led her away from the conversation.

"The sitter?" she asked, confused, once you were out of earshot. You shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry, it's what my mom always said when she wanted to end a conversation," you explained. Tasha giggled and rolled her eyes playfully.

"God, you're such an idiot," she teased affectionately. You smiled proudly at her.

"I love you too, Tash." 

©Elena do not copy, edit, or translate my works.

#marvel smut #natasha romanoff x reader smut #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #wlw smut #gxg smut #natasha x y/n #natasha x reader #bottom natasha romanoff #sub natasha romanoff #top reader #dom reader #x reader

[thelittleliars]

Hoodie

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 1.3K

Summary: Someone stole your favorite hoodie.

AN: I had this cute little idea for an au. So here it is! Natasha in a hoodie is still one of my favorite looks of her.

You had been looking everywhere for your favorite hoodie for over an hour but it seemed like it disappeared from the face of the earth. The last time you saw it was a couple days ago when it laid on your desk. You were sure of it. Nothing but an old nirvana t-shirt and purple hoodie that Kate forgot was on your desk. Continue looking for your hoodie would only waste more time so you decided to visit your best friend who lived a couple blocks away.

You quickly threw on a pair of vans and a jacket, grabbed your keys and left your tiny apartment with frustration. The 10 minute walk to the Avengers Tower helped you calm down but still were super bummed that your favorite hoodie was now gone. At the Tower you had to go through security before getting on the elevator up to the lounge where your best friend Yelena was most likely chilling. Steve and Bucky were the only ones there though. 

"Hey guys!" You greeted them with a friendly smile. "Has any of you two seen Yelena?"

Bucky shook his head, which you expected since he and Yelena barely saw each other anyways. "I'm sorry, Yelena just had gone out with Kate and Peter I believe." Steve told you. You nodded sadly, thinking about if you should call her to meet up with them or not. "Natasha is in her room though." You blushed at the mention of the red head. Cap and Bucky were the only people who knew of your crush on Natasha. They constantly gave you the chance to be closer to her which was super sweet of them. You mumbled a small thanks before making your way towards her room which was a floor below. 

You were so busy with your thoughts that you forgot to knock, you busted right into her room where she was talking to someone or rather something. She talked to her phone, it looked like she was either filming herself or being in a video chat. "Ohh.." You felt the heat of guilt and embarrassment in your face. "I'm so sorry. I should have knocked first." 

She turned her head around when she heard your voice, also starting to smile at the sight of you being in her room. You returned a shy smile back to her, trying hard not to show any signs of the crush you have on her. Natasha waved you in before you could make up your mind to just leave her alone. You quickly closed the door behind you before you rushed to her side. Then you finally saw what she was doing, filming something on some app you don't recognize. "Is that TikTok?"

Natasha snorted, "It's actually Instagram."  The information of her using Instagram was new to you and also kind of surprising. "You should actually know that since you know... you have an account there." 

"Oh honey, just because I have an account doesn't mean I have the app on my phone and use it." The words just came out of you before you could even realize what you were about to say. Nat fully turned her body to you, your eyes immediately took her full form in and that's when you realized that she was wearing your clothes. She was wearing your favorite hoodie, the one you were looking for all this time. How it landed here with her was beyond you. "Like what you see?" She teased you as she caught you starring at her.

"T-that's my hoodie." She looked down her own body, then looking back up into your eyes with slight confusion. "You're wearing my favorite hoodie right now. I was looking for it all day Tasha!" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was yours." She apologized. "I stole it from Yelena's room thinking it was her's or Kate's."

"Cука!" You muttered to yourself. It made perfect sense that Yelena stole it, she was the last one visiting you in your apartment a day or two days ago. 

Natasha grinned at you, she liked that you cursed her sister in their mother language. "Here let me give it back to you." She took off your hoodie in one swift motion and now stood in front of you in a bra. You were shocked that she was confident and comfortable enough to stand there so exposed. After the shock was over you tried your best not to look at her boobs, so your eyes wandered around her room. When you looked to her desk you saw her and yourself on the phone screen. That was when you realized that it was still recording, you shyly step in front of her phone to cover the camera with your back. "You're still recording." You told her with a hint of uneasiness in your voice. Her eyes suddenly became big. "Oh shit.. Y/N I'm not recording anything, I'm live on Instagram!" The panic was written all over her face. 

"Good thing you don't have many followers to tune in.. right?" You ask her cluelessly. She huffed, she would have loved your innocence about social media if it were for a different situation that didn't include exposing herself half naked to the world. 

"Detka, I'm an Avenger." She stated. You nodded, "Wow! Who would have thought!" The sarcasm and teasing was dripping from you. "So what?" Natasha sighed, she was getting tired of this situation. "Turn around and look at the upper right corner." You did as you were told to do, there in the corner was a tiny viewer count saying 50K and it kept growing by each second. Only then you realized why Natasha reacted the way she did. "How do you end this live thing??" 

Natasha noticed your now new panicked state and found it quite amusing. "You gotta.. uhm.. on the right.. wait let me just.." She stepped behind you and pressed her body into yours, hiding her half exposed body from the world. You felt her arms brushing against each side of your body, trying to navigate her way to end the livestream. With every movement she made you felt her boobs, that were pressed against your back, even more. Warmth spread through your whole body and you start to panic since you couldn't control yourself anymore. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything stupid. You constantly told yourself. 

Both of you sighed in relief when you saw that the livestream had ended. She leaned her forehead against your shoulder for a second before taking a step back and turning you around by your waist. "You could have returned my hoodie later." Natasha continued to stare at your face, only meeting your gaze from time to time. "How come you forgot that you were live?"

As soon as the words were out of your mouth, her gaze returned to yours, her green eyes looked into your y/e/c ones softly. "I got distracted." Nat admitted. You raised your left eyebrow, not getting what would distracted her that much. "By what?" "You." Your breath got caught in your throat. "M-me?"

She gave you a small shy smile and nodded. "Yes, you." Your heart beat so fast that you could heart it in your ears. It was also a reason why you could not stop stuttering. "W-w-why?" 

"Is that not obvious?" She teased you before her whole aura got serious. "You always looks so cute and you talking russian just made things worse." Holy motherfucker... NATASHA ROMANOFF FINDS ME CUTE. The two of you stood there with blushing cheeks looking all awkward and like two idiots who didn't know how to make a first step.

"I honestly don't know what to say." 

She took your hands into hers, holding them softly in between your bodies, squeezing them a bit because of her nervousness. "Would you go on a date with me?" You felt your voice slip away so you just nodded and smiled at her widely. 

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x reader #black widow x you #natasha x y/n #Hoodie

[cjjohansson]

4 months. 18+

natasha romanoff x reader - -smut- AMAB!reader - 18+ only!!!!! first time attempting smut so pls be nice thx🥺

4 months past since you broke up. Things never change.

My fists fly towards the punching bag in front of me, every punch getting out my frustration. It’s been 4 months since I last saw her. Leaving after we broke up was easier than staying. Only Fury calling me back after only being away for 4 months wasn't something I was expecting.

Me and Natasha ended weird. 

Natasha was always a person who would rather run away from her feelings whereas I am a person who happily chases them. Maybe that’s why we were both wrong for one another. 

But we never felt wrong for each other. She loved me, I loved her. She just never knew how to show that, but she was learning too and I was okay with that. But one day she just ended it, she couldn't do it anymore. That was all she told me and then she disappeared for days. I left before she came back. 

“You're back…I didn't believe Tony when he just said it…” My head turns to the voice that invades my ears and I find myself instantly turning away from Natasha who is standing by the gym doors.

“Yep.” I mutter as I continue to get back into the rhythm of my punches  

“I called you, you know” She whispers to me as she appears behind the punching bag. I hum in response.

“Babe…” 

“You don't get to call me that anymore.” I spit as I turn to walk away from her towards my gym bag on the side getting ready to put my t-shirt back on. 

“Can you just listen to me, please?” The crack in her voice causes me to stop. I always hated it when she cried, this was her only telltale that she was going to. 

“Talk.” I mutter to her as I keep my back to her.

“I ran and I know I did that, I know I do that. I heard you talking to Maria about proposing and it freaked me out and I ran. If I knew that meant you were going to leave, I never would have ran. I just needed time.” Natasha says as she moves closer towards me.

“You could have spoken to me Tash…you know that! I, I wouldn’t have done it, I would have waited until you were ready. I loved you with every fibre in my being, and you left. Leaving was the best thing for me to do.” My voice breaks now, I blocked everything out for the past few months and talking about it now…It hurts.

“I will forever be sorry for not talking to you, I am sorry for breaking your heart, but I broke my own too. I never want to do that ever again. I love you so much it hurts” Natasha’s voice grows quiet, I fight myself about whether I should turn around or just leave. But the sound of her crying? 

I can’t walk away.

I pull her into my chest as tears flow from her eyes. Yet she still looks breathtaking, even when crying. 

“You have to promise me you're never going to run again Tasha, I don't think I will survive it…”

“I promise.” 

She pulls herself away from my chest and her hand finds my cheek, tears fall from her eyes as she takes a deep breath. 

Her lips float towards mine and she locks our lips together gently. Like it is a test to see if it has changed since a year ago. It hasn’t. 

Her hands move to the back of my neck as she deepens the kiss. The softness now gone, lust and determination now filling it instead. 

She moans into my mouth as I pull her body closer to my own, my hands sliding down to rest on her lower back. 

She pulls away and rests her forehead on mine as we both breathe deeply. 

Natasha grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room and into the elevator. 

The next thing I know I’m inside of her bedroom and I’m pushing her against her door, kissing her feverishly. 

I move my kisses to her neck as she releases moans into the room. 

It feels surreal. 

It feels hot. 

I suck deeply on her neck in hopes of leaving my marks, making her know I’m not leaving. 

I’ve never left her mind and she knows it. 

Her hands play with the hem of her t-shirt, myself now realising I didn’t even put mine back on earlier. 

I pull back and take off her t-shirt staring at her body as she moves to discard her bra next. My eyes bulge out of my head and my mouth instantly latches onto her nipple, my other hand moving up and playing with the other. 

She pushes my shoulders towards the bed and I walk towards it slowly as she makes an effort to take off her trousers leaving her naked in front of me. 

My breath hitches as she moves to straddle my lap. My hands instantly gravitate to her hips as she grinds hard onto my growing bulge. 

She pulls back and starts to untie my shorts, her arousal filling her eyes as she bites her lip while she watches me take off the rest of my clothes. I move back onto her bed and she leaps on top of me. 

Her body grinds into mine as she kisses up and down my neck. I try to stifle my moans but it’s useless. 

I grab her hips, stopping her constant grinding. And pull her up to my face. She hesitates until I give her a nod and she moves up my body. 

My tongue instantly darts out of my mouth and I run it through her wet folds. I open my eyes and I am gifted with the sight of her on top of me. Her mouth hung open in a silent moan as she rests her hands on the headboard. 

I wrap my hands around her thighs and bring her more into my mouth as I suck on her clit, she can’t help but whimper as I continue my movements. 

I don’t stop my torture on her clit as she shakes above me, a clear indication of her wanting to cum. 

I move one of my hands to her arse cheek and knead it, encouraging her to grind on my face to help with her high. 

“fu..ckkkk. just like that” Natasha moans as her movements increase and I keep up the sucking on her clit. 

“gon cum, don’t stop” I hold her hips securely as I help her move, her body flinching as she finally reaches her high. 

She stills on top of me as her body finally releases into my mouth, I slow down my movements, running my tongue through her folds as she calms down from her high. 

Natasha moves back down to my lap and I have to hold in the groan in my throat when I feel her heat touch my throbbing member. 

Her eyes pierce into mine as she moves her hand behind her body and strokes me softly. 

My hard on somehow becoming even more hard. My stomach clenching as I anticipate her next move. 

She raises her hips slowly and my eyes fly to her cunt, she teases her hole with my cock and slowly eases herself onto me.

Natasha’s face scrunches in pain and it stops me from pushing myself deeper. Letting her ease herself down on top of me as I take deep breaths. 

“So tight baby, good girl. Take your time '' I breathe out as she finally sits fully down onto me. She moans softly as she rises herself up before dropping herself down again. A moan slipping from my mouth as I feel how hot and warm she is around me. 

“God you feel so good baby girl.” I mutter as my hands fly to her hips and help her move. 

My grip on her hips increases as I help her move again, faster and harder. Her tits bouncing as I thrust into her but it isn’t enough. 

I flip us over and bury myself deeper inside of her, her moans echoing throughout the room. 

“Fuck baby” she stutters. My thrusts don’t let up as Natasha’s body rocks back and forth in time with my own thrusts. Her face contorts in pleasure as her mouth opens and she lets out breathless moans. 

She pulls my face down and locks out lips together but it’s pointless. Our moans too much to even be able to hold onto a kiss. 

Her hands scratch down my back as I feel her walls clamping around me. 

“You feel unreal Tasha, you’re such a good girl” I continue to rock my hips harder into her. My orgasm is fast approaching and I know she isn’t that far behind. 

“wan cum with you” she moans to me as I don’t let up my speed. 

My hand flies down to her clit as I rub small tight circles, helping her reach her high. Her mouth opening in pleasure as I bring her leg round my waist to reach even deeper than before. 

“Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” Natasha screams, her hips rocking against my own even faster, my vision starting to blur as my orgasm starts to come forward. 

“I’m gonna cum baby.”

“Me too, me too” 

We both moan as we release at the same time. My cum shoots inside of her as her walls clamp around me and she throws her head back once again letting out breathless moans. 

I slow down gently, still easing myself in and out of her clenched walls, I’m barely able to move as she continues to clench and unclench around me, my body jolting as she milks me dry. She lets out a high pitch whine as I push in deeper again and stay there. Her eyes opening as she looks deep into my own. 

“Yes...” 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I will marry you.”

#natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #avengers #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff fanfic

[slackerlifewhere]

The female characters

As usual, this post might have SPOILERS about the first volume of TCF so if you don't want to see this, please don't continue. Thanks!

___

There's this problem I've noticed as a reader of several novels. It's the reason why I skipped or dropped a lot of novels that disappointed me despite their good plot.

The female characters are either barely in the story, they suck, or turned into a harem member.

Most authors don't know how to write women unless they're the same gender. And while I have no problems with male characters, it's sad that if you see a movie, anime, manga, or novel, the results are either of the three mentioned above☝️.

But TCF managed to surprise me yet again.

Like I said in my previous post,

I did not have high expectations for this novel when I first started reading it. I just wanted to read something because I was bored.

So imagine my surprise when a lot of female characters started appearing everywhere in this novel. While some have minor roles like Amiru, Violan, and Lily, most of them are relevant to the plot. Something that is lacking in most novels. They're not one-dimensional characters but are instead given depth by the author.

Violan and Lily

Violan and Lily, who barely show up in the story because we're focused on Cale's point of view, have their own backstories and goals. Their roles are simple but it's enough that you'll be able to remember their names unlike those characters that are easily forgettable.

You'll be able to remember that Violan loves art and wants to help her husband and family as a wife, mother, and countess. She's very intelligent and even appears to be in equal footing with her husband. She's just as important as Deruth in their territory. If you remember how she appeared when Clopeh attacked them, you can see that despite her worry and anger for Cale's poor state, she appeared calm and was willing to stand by his side despite the danger she faces.

Lily on the other hand wants to be a swordsman to help her brothers protect their territory. I find her small interactions with Cale so adorable because of how much Cale respects her and her dream. She is brave and hard-working, unwilling to stay behind while her brothers do everything. She even grew stronger later in the novel. The fact that she was raised to be confident about her skills and herself is a good sign that Deruth and Violan did not care about gender roles and I just find this awesome.

Witira

Another example is the manhwa.

Let me first mention that I don't read the manhwa. I like it but I prefer the novel. I feel like their thoughts and opinions aren't always shown properly compared to when you read the novel.

But when I first saw Witira illustrated in the manhwa, my first thought was "she looks strong". The fact that I noticed how strong she is just by how she exudes confidence and power amazed me. Her personality is already obvious just by how she talks and moves.

In the novel, Cale likens himself to a shrimp while standing next to them, Raon, and Toonka. He knows that he's the weakest in the group and was quick to hide when Toonka jumped into a fight with Witira. He also thought that Toonka is stupid for trying to fight with Witira.

But what I appreciate about Witira is her care for her brother. She was so ready to interrogate Cale about Paseton and her brother had to calm her to calm down.

Before I wax poetry about how cool Witira is, here is the summary of the women that made an impact in the story.

There's Rosalyn who left her position as a princess to be a powerful mage. There's Mary, an innocent necromancer with a tragic background and Tasha who is a dark elf that wants to support her nephew despite the disgust and fear aimed at their race.

The others, while not often seen, are just as important because of their connection to other characters. Cage wants to be excommunicated and protect Taylor (something she failed to do in the original story) and is connected to the God of Death. Litana is a queen who wants to protect her Jungle from Adin and Arm. And Jopis wants her family and kingdom back from Elisneh.

There's also Cotton but to be honest, she's the one of the few female characters that I barely know about aside from her actions in Endable and connection to the God of War. I'm wondering if she'll show up more in the second volume.

Mary

She's a quiet character but she's my favorite among all the characters. When she first appeared in the novel, she didn't have much presence. It was only when she was brought above the City of Death/Life that she became more than a pitiful necromancer who was hated and feared just because she wanted to survive, like her parents wanted her to do before they died.

She may look naive at first because she spent most of her life in the underground city, but she later proves how powerful and kind she is.

Instead of hating the world that hated her, she moved past that and just wanted to protect the people she sees as her family and friends. Her backstory is sad but it didn't stop her from seeking happiness even if she became a necromancer.

She's one of the strongest characters in my eyes and I'm happy to see her slowly gain confidence in herself.

Hannah and Elisneh

But out of all the women, Hannah and Elisneh are the ones who surprised me the most.

Hannah was originally an antagonist. She fought against Cale and his group before she was betrayed by Arm. And she was about to die if Cale, Litana, Cage, and Mary did not save her. Instead of completely changing her character, she still remains bloodthirsty but has a softer side because of her brother and Cale.

She develops in a way that I did not expect. I actually thought she would be another Redika because of her obsession with blood and would later die as an extra character but she proved me wrong. She instead fights Arm with her brother and the group. I believe she's as strong as Rosalyn but I don't remember (I have to re-read the novel).

She doesn't care about the scars left on her by the dead mana and keeps it as a reminder of the betrayal she and her twin faced, proving she doesn't care how people who fear dead mana look at her.

Elisneh on the other hand, remains an antagonist against Jopis. She was originally supposed to "save" the Jungle but judging on how her kingdom turned out (like a storage for dead mana and stuck in an illusion), I can make a guess that she would've done the same with the Jungle had Cale not helped Litana before.

She's an antagonist that left a deep impression on me because of how static she is as a character. She remains focused on her greed and thirst for power and it's nice to see that not all antagonists in the story are turned into allies or kind people. She's strong enough that it took a whole group to defeat her.

On

And last but not the least is On.

She is not as vocal as Hong and Raon but she is the most mature out of all the kids. She is very sharp and knows what Cale thinks of himself and the people around him. She didn't initially trust Cale and I like that. She notices how stupid Cale can be at times and seems exasperated by him. She can still be childish just like her siblings from time to time but her determination to become stronger against the Fog Cat Tribe and Arm shows how much she and Hong had faced before arriving in the Henituse territory.

I understand some readers don't like the involvement of children in TCF because it's bad for the kids to be in war against a strong organization. BUT readers forget that this is a different world with different ways of thinking. These kids are from the Fog Cat Tribe, beastmen who can fight and are prepared for it. They have abilities that normal humans don't and they need to train those abilities if they want to survive in a world full of strong people and wars.

Her being involved in battles makes her feel proud of how strong she became, something she didn't feel when she was in her tribe. Because she's a mutant, her tribe made her feel bad about herself and was ready to kill her and Hong. She needs encouragement and praises that they're not useless or weak. She doesn't need to be coddled and she knows this.

She's smart enough to know that she and her siblings will only be safe with Cale and his group. Even in the war, their only involvement was spreading a poisonous fog so they could hide their presence from the enemy and Cale could hide his ancient powers from the greedy nobles. Aside from that, they weren't fighting in the war. They entered, used their abilities, and left.

Their tribe is good at being stealthy and it's why Ron wants to train these kids. They're good as potential assassins if they want to become one.

I might make a different post about the kids but this is all I have to say about On for now.

Respect

Another reason why I love this novel is because Cale treats these people with respect, regardless of their race, history, and gender.

He doesn't stop them from becoming stronger and instead encourages them to be what they want to be. He respects their failures and strengths. He doesn't coddle them nor does he find them weaker because they're women.

That's why I respect the author. Instead of writing them as side characters existing to make men stronger, the author made me feel amazed at all these strong women, regardless if they're normal or a fighter.

___

I can write more about these characters like Rosalyn and Tasha but I'll just end it here because I might just summarize the whole novel at this point 😅

#tcf #tcf cale #tcf novel #tcf manhwa #tcf spoilers #cale henituse #tcf cale henituse #tcf rosalyn #tcf mary #tcf tasha #tcf witira #tcf hannah #tcf violan #tcf lily #tcf jopis #tcf litana #tcf on #lcf on #tcf cage #tcf elisneh #lcf manhwa #lcf #lcf cale #lout of the count’s family

[gayerthanevertbh]

the start | i want you pt. 1

natasha romanoff masterlist | series masterlist | navigation

pairings: dad’s best friend!natasha x fem!reader

summary: your father doesn’t know it yet, but you’re in love with his best friend. and what makes it better is that you’re sure enough that she feels the same way - both of you just don’t know how to word it out properly.

warnings: sex against the wall, dirty talking, daddy kink, and slight angst - minors dni

notes: THERE WAS NO FLOOOOOORRRR

“Tasha, ‘M gonna–”

“Bunny, keep your voice down.” Her words were muffled, and her hips moved in hushed tones. My hand was pressed against the wall while my other gripped her shoulder tightly, terrified of hurting her. But I couldn't help myself; she was fucking me fast and hard.

These were tense and maneuvering times. When the woman of your dreams decides to take you against the wall in your father's beloved home, you never know what to expect. It felt risky, even naughty because I had never imagined being fucked by my father's best friend. That's right, my father's best friend. Of course, she was much older than me, nearly twice my age. But neither of us cared, not in the least. Plus, she enjoys my cunt. She once told me that no one else could fuck me because my hole was too big for everyone else and too small for her. I enjoyed every minute of our "conversation."

“You feel fuckin’ amazing,” she grunts into my neck while holding my hips hard against the wall, rutting herself into me. “You’re so wet and tight around my fat cock. You’re lovin’ this, aren’t ya, sweet girl?”

“Tash–Oh my god!” My breathing becomes labored as the air becomes thicker. I bit my lower lip hard and felt my eyes roll back in my head. Her dick was massive. It couldn't possibly fit inside me, but who doesn't enjoy a good challenge? “R-Right there, Daddy, give me all of you…”

"You make me want to cum soon," she says raggedly, thrusting upwards into my cunt faster, our skin deliciously slapping against each other. “Oh fuck, I don’t think I can last long.”

"Almost there, Tasha," I grumbled. Natasha sloppily kisses my lips and rubs her thumb furiously against my clit to catch my orgasm with her. “W-Wait, stop! It’s too much–”

"Clench on my dick, baby," she begs, her voice higher pitched than usual. I knew she wouldn't stop pushing into me. She needed to put her cum in me before my father found me in her room, or she'd have a stiff appendage all day without my father noticing. “That’s it–Ugh… god, you feel so good. I want to get you full, maybe even carry my baby. That’s such an arousing idea, don’t you think, little one?”

“Daddy, I don’t think I’m ready for that!”

She pushes me up against the wall, kissing my chest with pure desire. Her growling can be heard against my skin. Meaningless to say, she is being possessive with me. I spread my legs wider and allowed her to force her cock inside me until my juices coated her entire length. I twitch as I hear our skin slap, and my walls tighten around her dick, even more, cumming around her shaft without her permission.

"Oh god, baby!" she shivers as she clutches me close to her body, still thrusting her dick inside me with such desperation roaring from her. Her cock was trapped between my walls, unable to escape completely. “Jesus fucking christ, you’re taking me in so well… look at your pretty puffy pussy. All for me to abuse.”

We both kiss again before a bright voice knocks on our door, making me tilt my head because I already knew who was behind that red door. It was my father who was calling us for lunch.

“Nat? It’s time for lunch! I can’t find Y/n anywhere. Is she with you?” I looked at Natasha with horror and started to scramble away from her, but she held me between her legs and covered my mouth with her calloused hand – unable to speak.

What was she doing?! Trying to get me in trouble?!

Slowly but surely, she starts thrusting into me again with a mischievous grin and sweat forming in her temples. "Dare to make a sound, and I'll punish you later; we don't want that, right?" Natasha whispered in my ear. I shook my head vigorously, unable to respond to her. “Good girl, just keep yourself tight for me.”

“Nat? You there?”

She thrusts me hard, causing me to scream into her hand. "I'm not sure where she is, Steve. Have you looked in the backyard? She’s probably there, studying.”

She slowly pulled herself out and pushed her length back into me, unconcerned about my pleasure. She buries her face in my neck and keeps rutting herself in my cunt, grunting quietly as if it's a secret. Her hands wander through my camisole tank top, pinching my nipples as soon as they appear, and she harshly whispers to me, "Gonna cum in you, okay?" Going to fill you up to the brim, little girl.”

"OK, thank you," I say as I hear my father's voice outside the door. “Please come down soon. I roasted us some steak!” Natasha removed her hand from my lips and kissed me hard - poorly - as soon as he was gone. She didn't stop pounding me up against the wall, nor did she stop holding my hips down to meet her thrusts. I screamed into her mouth as I felt her exploding inside me, knowing that her loads were pretty thick, which meant it would fill my stomach - as if I wasn't starved for lunch any longer.

“Ugh, that’s it…” she murmurs into my skin, still thrusting inside me but at a slower pace. “God, take my cum in you, baby… you know you can only take my cum.”

She pulls out and slips her dick back into her pants, affectionately kissing my collarbone. We didn't have much time for aftercare, so I quickly drew up my pinkish shorts and slowly opened the door, looking left and right to see if my father was nearby. I felt my buttocks being smacked before I took a step outside. When I turned around, Natasha gave me a look that revealed her stiff appendage through those jeans.

And just like that, we were content.

“So,” my father prompts his elbows against the clothed table while Natasha is eating beside me. “Are you going on a date with James?”

James Bucky Barnes. He had been one of my oldest friends since we moved to Greece; I was relieved to make friends here because I wasn't social. But he was, and that pushed me out of my comfort zone. At first, the stares and conversations were pure and innocent. Until last month, before Natasha arrived at our house, we kissed. At first, I mistook it for a magical spark like in fairy tale books. But when Natasha and I started talking, it was more than that. It was magical, but the fairy tale books were much darker than they appeared. Natasha kissed my lips as she held me in her lap, asking if we should stop and reconsider what we had done. But I never gave her a proper response and kept kissing her, hoping my taste would linger on her tongue.

I could feel Natasha stare at me, and I felt myself shrinking in my seat.

“W-Why would you assume that?” I asked quietly.

He shrugs, giving me an approving smile that I don’t necessarily need. “I thought you two liked each other.”

“I’m sure Bucky doesn’t like me that way,” I said, hoping he wouldn't ask about him again as I ate Natasha's tomato soup. The woman next to me was staring, but not in a creepy way. Not even in an amusing way. She just sits there and… stares.

I was going to have a long night.

“Who’s Bucky?” she finally asks. Although, I couldn’t tell whether she was disappointed in me. “Is he your friend from school?”

“Actually, he’s my neighbor.”

Natasha stares at me again and nods, looking back at her plate as she chomps down her steak. Steve looks at her for a few seconds before finishing his glass of wine, smiling at me as he stands up.

“I do hope you bring Bucky here again. He seems like a nice boy.”

"He is," I replied honestly. Bucky was, in fact, a gentleman. He has always put me first in any skeptical situation; he even brought my father a basket of fruit out of appreciation and politeness. He's not your typical neighborhood guy. He’s pretty different from that. He's stunning, but I'm not interested in him – and that makes me wonder every night before Natasha returns to my life again.

Natasha stood up without a word and returned to the kitchen, washing her plate. I did not see her that night, and I might’ve guessed she was envious of him. But who am I to think that way? I was probably not unique to her, nor will I ever be special to her.

That night, I couldn't sleep. I needed Bucky to be in my room. He soothed my panic attacks by assuring me that I was always safe with him. As a young child, I needed validation - even from my "friends," but no one seemed to give it to me, so I've always lacked love. But my father and Bucky gave me that love; they did it better than my mother. As I was about to fall asleep, I heard the door creak, which caused my head to turn, and I saw Natasha approaching in her pink shirt and white boxers.

“N-Nat?” I gurgled, rubbing my left eye. “What are you doing here?”

She shushes me with her lips pressing on my forehead as she removes the blanket on my body, tucking herself in with me. She brought my head to her chest and kept pecking my head, which made me feel sleepy and wanted. I heard her whisper, “I’m sorry.”

I hummed, nuzzling my head on her chest. “For what?”

“For ignoring you all night.”

She’s apologizing for being jealous?

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Tasha.” I soothed, looking up at her chin as I tried to catch her attention – she caught my eye. “I thought you were jealous–”

She cuts me off with her deep, shrill voice. “I was,” she sighs, unable to speak for herself. “I don’t know what I was thinking, and I’m sorry. I guess I thought you were mine.”

As she confesses, my heartbeat quickens. Her presence made it difficult for me to breathe. I was embarrassed that my cheeks were warm and pinkish, but I didn't care. I wanted her to notice me - to see me. I could beg on my knees all day and let her stare at me, but I wouldn't mind. I desired to have her as well. I wanted all of her.

She holds me closer and kisses my nose, then on my lips. As we kissed each other, I felt her tongue slipping into my mouth – I could not move. She brought both hands down to my waist and language kissed me, moaning each time we made the sound of our kiss, which became sloppy. She felt maneuvered by me, lightened by my presence. I knew she had always told me what she felt whenever I was around.

“You’re so important to me,” she whispers, nipping the center of my neck. “I can’t see you with him, never. I-I’d die, Y/n. I’d fucking die.”

“Y-You won’t lose me,” I reassured her as I cupped her face. “Tash, you know I won’t ever slip away from you.”

We cuddled up in each other's arms that night. I was happy, wholly fulfilled that she was with me. As if in me. I could smell her thick smoky perfume and mint mouthwash on her breath. I begged in my mind, take me. Make me yours. I promise to be a saint to you. As long as you love me. But it could be impossible that she was in love with me, as I am in love with her.

I laid on her chest, cuddling her close.

tag list: @trans-wolf-boi

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha angst #black widow x reader #black widow x you #i want you series #natasha romanoff smut

[a-spes]

S T A I N E D H E A R T S - One shot.

Words count - 1,4k.

Tags & Warnings - Natasha Romanoff x reader, a bit of angst / comfort.

Summary - Fury sent you and Natasha on a mission even if he knows you are in a relationship.

— — — — —

You are on the roof of a building, laying on the dust, not letting your eyes out of the window of your target’s apartment. The window is on the opposite building, right in front of you, if he decides to finally come back, you would be able to shoot him quite easily. 

Except that he is not here, probably decided it was a good day to stay longer outside. You sigh, starting to be impatient. According to the informations given to you, he should have been here two hours ago, it’s been twice the time you have been waiting him to open this fucking door, barely moving.

“ I swear, if Fury gave us the wrong address, I am gonna chop his head off ” you mumble. Throught the communication device, Natasha can be heard chuckling.

You almost forgot that you are not alone in that mission. While you are waiting on a roof, laying on the concrete for hours, burning under the summer sun, she is comfortably sitting in a car parked near to the target’s building. Since you got here, none of you talked, except a few words from time to time because he was supposed to arrive soon and you both needed to concentrate. At least, he was supposed to show up. He is still not here. 

“ I am serious, ‘tasha ” you add. Most of the agents would be fired if they dared to talk to Fury the way you are, but he needs you too much for that. Also, he probably appreciates you more than he wants to admit it.

“ I know, love, I know ” she replies and, if you can’t see her, you know she is smiling, it is something you can tell by her tone.

An additional ten minutes elapsed before the wait was eventually worth it, you sighed in relief when you saw him. The man enters the building, coming into the apartment a few minutes later, all under your surveillance, you aren’t missing any of his movements.

“ Here you go ” you whisper.

You can hear Natasha saying something like she gets it and doesn’t want you to move but you can’t be sure, the man taking all your attention at the moment. In fact you are not here to kill him, you are supposed to do it just in case things go wrong - it would be a shame to kill the man that has the information you need.

In fact, the plan is supposed to be very simple, at least according to Fury. But, to be honest, if you are listening to him, the missions are always easy. However, working for him made you learn things never go the way they are supposed to : in Fury’s language, easy is just a synonym for death trap. 

Obviously this mission is no different from the others. The man you are looking for has something you need to take back before it can be used by the terrorist organization he is working for. He is just a subordinate so, in theory, it shouldn’t be that hard. You don’t know much more about the story, Fury rarely gives a lot of information : he asks you something, you do it and then you get the money. It is how things work and, even if most of the time it annoys you, here you are, exactly where he wants you to be.

“ Crap ! ” she exclaims. 

“ Nat’ ? Is everything okay ? ” you immediately ask, your voice being full of worries. Your girlfriend is not the kind of person to curse, it is more your thing, hearing her using such words is a sign that something is not going well.

“ Yeah - ” she starts but she is being cut by a loud noise, as if she is thrown against a furniture. Oddly, you don’t believe her when she assures you that everything is fine. “ Stay where you are. ”

“ What a liar … ” you mumble. The problem with going on missions with Natasha as a partner is that she is trying too hard to keep you safe. She doesn’t think twice before putting herself in danger, even when it is unecessary, just so you don’t get hurt. 

And it is exactly what she is doing right now. You are trying to keep an eye on her through the apartment’s window but you can’t see anything, they must be fighting in another room. 

“ Fuck it ” you eventually say. This time, you are the one cursing and Natasha doesn’t even make a comment about it. All you can hear from her side are some fight noises, she probably didn’t even hear you talking.

You really tried to do as she asked you but the wait is unbearable. There is a difference between not moving for hours, waiting for a target to show up, and not moving while your girlfriend might need your help. Even if she is probably doing fine on her own, your worries make seconds seem like hours and staying here is impossible.

A few minutes later, you decide to leave your position to lead to the building she is in. The closest you get from the apartment, the loudest the noises are. It is until they suddenly stop, leaving you with an odd silence : the time you get here, the fight must’ve stopped and you don’t know how you feel about that news. As the door is wide open, you can easily make your way into the dark apartment. It has a living-room with an open kitchen but those rooms are empty so you decide to keep walking, entering the corridor that leads to the other pieces. The sunlight can barely come in so you have to be careful, you know it.

“ You better be alive ” you whisper as you slowly make your way into the apartment.

Suddenly, you feel a movement on your right. Sadly, by the time you realize, it is already too late. Your mind is too busy worrying about your lover that you forgot to pay attention to your surroundings, a rookie mistake.

It all happens in a few seconds, so quickly that your gun is useless. An arm around your throat, your opponent is holding you firmly and struggling is useless as they would tighten their grip until you can barely breathe. If you want to get out of that situation, you are gonna need to outsmart them.

“ Love ? ” the voice says. She immediately lets you go. “ I told you to stay where you were, why can’t you listen for once ? ” at her tone you can guess that she is really mad at you right now.

“ Can’t let you have all the fun while I am waiting, can I ? ” you reply once your breathing is back to normal.

You don’t really mind her harsh tone, you know that it is not against you. Natasha fears that you could get hurt, sure, but she is even more scared by the idea that it could be because of her. You told her many times that it won’t happen but she doesn’t listen to you, the person she was being stuck in her mind, even years after she left the Red Room.

In any case, you can see that your joke didn’t make her laugh. Your attempt to lighten the mood is a failure, all you get in exchange is Natasha’s dead-stare, the one that makes you immediately go quiet. You know that anything that you could say from now would only make things worse. Slowly, you come closer to Natasha, your hands taking hers. At first, she is tense, her first are clenched, but she eventually lets it go, wrapping her fingers around yours. It is the only way you know to comfort her when she is in that state, prisoner of her past. 

“ There is blood ” you quietly say after a few minutes of silence, looking at her bloody hands. Her suit is in a similar state.  “ Not mine ” she replies in the same tone, and a soft smile appears on both of your faces. As you look behind her back you can, indeed, notice three men. They are laying on the floor, all unconscious and tied and you weren’t expecting less from the woman you love.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #reader insert #x reader #black widow #mcu #mcu fanfiction #mcu women #mcu au #StainedHearts #light angst #comfort #angst and comfort

[frank1nsaint]

Franklin Part 1.

You look around the crowd of people, slightly overwhelmed by the turn out at the fair today. It was a Saturday night after all anyone who wanted to enjoy an ounce of fun weekend before work/school on Monday was here. Unfortunately for you crowds weren’t your thing since a fight tended to break out and nowadays a gun would be pulled quickly. 

“Damn! he walks like his dick is heavy” you hear 

You start coughing choking on your cola

“What?!!” Wanda comments

“She must be talking about Franklin”  Lashay adds as you all now looked towards where she looked, Franklin’s crew walked towards them mostly because of Leon but still they made their way towards you 

There’s a light laughter between you girls “Girl you crazy!” your best friend who just happens to be your cousin Harmony adds to the discussion 

“Oh shit they coming this way yall straighten up!” Tasha snaps quickly adjusting herself clothes  

You groan internally you didn’t want to deal with Franklin and his men. You were around them from elementary to now, and right now mentioning Franklin and his men was like mentioning the grim reaper and his minions. After Kevin's death and Franklin’s release, it was like they were untouchable, and anyone who crossed them ended up dead. Franklin didn’t have that innocent aura about him anymore, you couldn’t describe it he was different confident

“Ladies!” Mike Mike greets bowing his head

“Hey y'all” Lashay greets

“What y'all doing here?” Leon asks

“We are at the state fair duh we are here to get some drinks food and have fun” Wanda responds

“The questioning is what are y'all doing here?” Harmony asks

“Shit y'all can’t be the only ones having fun!” Jerome comments

You hang back as the group merges and moves through the fair. You would integrate, often joining the discussion, but for the most part you kinda just chilled in the back and watched as the couples (Tasha/Franklin, Wanda/Leon, Harmony/Sean Louie/Jerome) cupcaked while the rest of you walked at a distance from them. 

“Girl Sean talking about making me his girl” Harmony comments as you two finally made it back to your rented out home 

“Oh nice!” you say removing your shoes

“You had fun tonight?” 

“Yea!” you smile 

“Good see it was fun” she says in a “i told you so” mocking tone 

“Yea yea whatever!” you wave her off before retreating to the kitchen. You two spend the night conversing before heading off to sleep. 

Life goes on and not much can be said about trying to survive and make it in a world that wouldn’t allow you to. 

“No,” you look at your cousin with a dead face

“WHYYY GIRL? COMME ONNNN” she begs

“Why do I” you point to your chest, “need to go? Tasha, Lashay, Bri, CiCi they are all going” 

“Because cousin, it's a christmas/new years party, damn you wanna be the only bitch in south central staying home on new years eve??”

“You know i don’t like crowds” you argue “and you know damn well that house is about to be packed” 

“When will you get to experience partying at a drug lords house again?” she counters 

“I would hope never Harmony”

She fake cries “come on girl pleaaassseee” she begs as she hugs you

“Harmony”

“Franklin said bring all your friends you know I cant show up without you” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you are part of the package” 

“Just go with the girls” should 

She turns you to face her “Y/N! why don’t you want to come?”

You sigh “i already told you!” 

She gives you a light push “Fine, be boring, have no social life, have no love life, just  survive, Work, school, home, bills thats it???” She throws her hands up when you give her a blanks stare in return 

You roll your eyes as she walks away. What she said got to you eventually, you didn’t want to only survive, you wanted to live just not around Saint and his men, it's like a body dropped every time he was around. 

You ponder for a few days before approaching her, what could hurt a one time party never to be mentioned again at least you could counter if she ever asked you to leave again. 

“Whats the dress code?” you ask as you stand by the kitchen counter 

“What?” She asks as she mixes the rice on the stove

“For this party” you clarify 

She turns to you with a stunned face, mouth a jar wide grin quickly taking over, “you coming?!!!” she asks softly, when you nod she screams and throws her arms around you “OH MY GOD!!!! AHHHH! YES GIRLLLL YESSSS WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?”

“Okay calm down!”

“Sorry” she takes a deep breath “I’m just soo excited” 

“Yea yea whats the dress code i mean can i show up in jeans or?” 

“Jeans girl really?” you shrug “You can or you can get a nice pretty dress stand out, get your hair done, nails?”

“So dress up is the dress code?” 

She shrugged “he never said just you know dress nice”

“I can dress nice in jeans”

“In a dress!” she stresses

“Fine” you weren’t going to argue your way through this party 

“Ooh girl, I can't wait to go shopping, let me call the girls and then we can plan to go out together!” she comments before returning to the stove.  You groan already regretting agreeing to go to this party.

The night of the party approaches quickly and you feel your stomach doing flips, it was too late to tell Harmony you changed your mind, you two were looking for a parking spot in the neighborhood, it seemed like half of south central had already showed up to the party. 

You don’t even know how time flew by so quickly, one minute you're in the chair getting your hair done, next thing you're putting on your lipstick, perfume, shoes, now walking towards the door. Watching as people poured in and out of the party. 

The chilly LA evening weather was much appreciated as you were not trying to arrive at the house with a thin layer of sweat on your body. Not after you've primped and primed the entire day. 

“HEEEEYYYYY!”  Harmony greets as you two walk in 

“MY BABY IS HERE!” Sean yells on top of his lungs

You stand back as you watch them greet

“Y/N?” you hear your name 

You turn to face one of Franklin's men “I’ll take your coat”  

“Oh you shrug off your trench coat.”

“I missed you baby” you hear harmony whine in a baby voice you can’t help but laugh 

The house was sorta full, you could still see across the room and make faces you knew that wouldn't be the case in the next hour or so. You just know the party was bound to get shut down

You step further in securing the coat check in your clutch. 

“Hey”  you greet Franklin

“Glad you could make it Y/N” he greets giving you a half hug, you quickly inhale his cologne he smelled good you make a quick note to yourself 

“Thanks for the invite, we brought you this” you say handing him a gift bag

“Oh shit you didn’t have to” he smiles at you

You shrug “well my mama said never show up to a person's house empty handed you know” 

He nods “what yall get me?” He asks trying to move the tissue paper around 

“Oh uh really good wine” 

“Expensive wine”  Harmony adds

“And some Bourbon” 

“Expensive bourbon” 

“Okay Harmony!” you look at her incredulously causing Franklin to chuckle

She chuckles “I’m fucking with you girl but”  she turns to face Franklin, “my cousin went around turn looking for the best wine for you”

“Oh word?” he turns to face you a bright smile on his face 

You feel yourself getting flustered “No I just” you feel yourself blushing “It's a gift and I  like to give good gifts” you defend, you don’t even know why you were blushing 

“That's true you ever want a good gift you ask her she’ll find some good shit” 

You smile “I’m gonna say hi to the girls and boys”  you say walking away from them

“Awkward ass” Harmony comments causing Franklin and Sean to burst out laughing. You throw your middle finger at her and keep walking

It wasn’t that you were purposely trying to impress Franklin, it was just a gift. What would it look like showing up with cheap wine and liquor when you kept hearing about the thousands he was moving weekly.He would probably be offended, you heard about his temper. 

1 hour you say to yourself as you made your way around the room, thats it thats how long you were staying 1 hour. You eventually find a small group of girls to talk to, avoiding Harmony and the rest as they were either in the circle with Franklin or right near it, in the center of the house. When you turn to look at that area you catch a glimpse of Tasha on Franklin's lap, with a flash she gets up and other women take a seat on his lap, you shake your head internally before returning to the conversation. 

The next time you look down at your watch you realise 2 hours had passed. It was already past 11pm and you should have been home by now. 

You quickly chug the water you have been drinking, (you weren’t gonna take risks drinking and driving) you slowly push your way through the massive crowd avoiding anyone from that group spotting you. Unbeknownst to you Franklin had his eye on you the entire night. He watched as you stood in the corner and talked to the girls, then back to the kitchen, bathroom, he even saw you spill water on yourself, he smiled slightly before returning to his conversation, no matter where you were tonight he made sure his eyes were on you. 

At one point you two make eye contact but you smile and quickly look away. Plus the comment Harmony made awhile back about him looking at you a certain way had you nervous being around the man, you can’t explain it you just wanted to get out of South Central unscathed and gaining the attention of Franklin wasn’t a plan. 

“Yea I’m leaving,”  you chuckle nervously while handing them the coat check

“Damn before New Years? it's gonna happen in like 40 minutes” 

“I know but I kinda wanna start getting home before traffic you know” you explain 

You already knew Harmony was gonna be with Sean tonight at his place you begged her to go to his instead of ruining your night with their sexcapeds gladly for you she agreed

He nodded in response “Yea that makes sense, LA traffic can get crazy” 

“Yea it can” You open your clutch to pull your keys but find nothing, you frantically push things around to see nothing, your lip gloss, napkins, mints and your wallet

“Shit” you say to yourself as you think back to the night? Did you leave them in the car? Are they with Harmony? Did they drop and you didn’t hear them? Your mind races trying to trace back the night. 

“Here you go” he says handing you your coat 

“Thanks”  

“Leaving so soon?”  you hear close to your ear from behind you, 

You instinctively tilt your head away, “Huh?”  as you continue to check the pockets quickly turning around slowly

You release your breath as you feel the keys in your coat pocket, you look up and see Franklin looking down at you smiling

“FUCK!”  you curse internally  “Heyyy” you smile quickly turning to glance at where he was to see if anyone else noticed. It was so packed now you couldn’t see past the sea of bodies now

“Leaving so soon?” he asks again pulling his hands behind his back 

You giggle nervously “Oh yea I don’t wanna get stuck in LA traffic”

He tilts his head slightly confused “But you just got here” 

“No i got here 2 hours ago” 

“I didn’t even get the chance to talk to you tonight” You make a face, he chuckles in response “I’m saying i wanted to catch up with you” he shrugs “we ain't really talked since highschool” 

“Oh” you shrug “nothing much going on with me” 

He smirks “Nah you more interesting than that, I aint even get the chance to tell you look good tonight yet,” You look down at your semi formal sweetheart dress, you were actually glad you agreed to dress up as many women were and you didn't’ want to be the odd one out actually even Franklin was dressed up suit tie the whole shebang

“Oh” you smile “thank you Franklin, you look good too clean up nice” 

He removes the coat from your hands gently “how about you stay a little longer?” he bargains

You chuckle nervously this could not be happening “Noo” you reach for the jacket but he puts it behind his back. “Franklin!”  you scold 

He smiles looking at you “comeon girl you can’t leave right before new years!” he argues 

“I don’t like driving at night. You know how the cops are? And its new years too!?” You catch his eyes drifting lower to your cleavage before making their way up to yours. You use that to your advantage and reach around but he quickly moves the jacket the opposite way

“Franklin!” you look towards where he was seating in the center of the house and see a very ugly mug on Tasha’s face and the other women seemed to share the same sentiment glaring in your direction 

“Come on its" he looks down at his watch, "only 30 more minutes, that can’t hurt” 

“No! Plus looks like Tasha is gonna kill you” you comment

“Tasha?”  he looks at where you tilted your head

“Oh shit!” he laughs “I don’t care about Tee” 

You cross your arms on your chest “Aren't you two dating?” 

“No!” 

“Mmmm well you might not be but she believes you two are and I need my coat Franklin” you open your hand out for him to give it to you

“I’ll take you home” 

“No how are you gonna get back here plus it's your party don’t be ridiculous!” 

“RIdiculous?” He guffaws  “I'm not the one leaving a new years party 30 minutes before new years that's the point of the party!” 

You huff and look up at the ceiling. You need to find a solution. You would leave the coat but it has your keys! He moves closer smiling at how flustered you were getting (“I just wanna go home”) you think to yourself, this shouldn’t be happening he should be dating Tasha. Why isn’t he? Weren't they over each other at the fair and tonight? What was this some freakyshit they were into or what?

“What is it?” He asks softly bringing your attention back to him, that damn smile, those dimples, nope no Y/N you need to go home

“Franklin I would like to go home please” 

“Y/N I told you I’ll take you home” 

“What about Tee?”

“Tee can get a ride home, why you keep brining her up?”

“Franklin”

“I’ll take you home. I promise”

“When?” 

“Right after the celebration is over!” he smiles slyly 

You frown “No thats like at 6am!” 

He chuckles you caught on quick “No give me till 1am at least” 

You contemplate no way you were getting the coat back that was for sure

“Fine you promise?” 

“I promise ima get Dreads or Mikey to take you”  You scoff “what?”

You  reach around and snatch your coat shocking him in the process

“No you said you were gonna take me home so you needed to take me home not punt me off to your men” you complain as you throw on your coat quickly 

He smiles at your brattiness “okay okay i will” he reaches for you

You move away from him “Nope i’m going home goodnight Franklin!” 

He sighs, “can you at least let me know you made it home safe?” 

“Fine i’ll page Tee” 

He  groans and you chuckle, he bites his bottom lip as he watches you walk away defiantly 

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