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thewebcomicsreview · 5 months

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Homestuck 2 updated today! Even I'm not enough of a dork to leave a Christmas Party to go read Hamsteak, but it got late and I'm back now, so let's do it. Months ago, but not many, before Alt!Calliope collapsed. Has it really been months, in-universe, since Dave/Aradia left Candy? Time is confusing, especially in Homestuck.

Oh wait, this is after Jade broke free of Calliope's control back in Chapter 6. That was months ago? Man, it's so weird how we've cut back to the Meat Rocket several times since then and Jade just....hasn't done anything or said anything about being possessed? At least onscreen? Totally glossed over.

Probably the biggest mystery in HSBC right now is who the Candyland narrator is. The "Lady" giving commands is clearly Alt Calliope, so who's the narrator pushing back on her here?

Oh. We have another Alt Calliope. An Alt-er Calliope. This seems to literally be the same person as Alt Calliope, though, since they re-fuse. Maybe this is something to do with Ultimate Selves, which might be why non-Alt Calliope is so afraid of her.

Cutting from Alt Calliope talking about decorum to Davebot and Aradia taking selfies with her corpse is a cute gag. I'd forgotten Aradia had a new Calliope-themed outfit. That's kind of weird.

DAVEBOT: to be fair this was typical teen jade behavior DAVEBOT: honestly shoulda done a little more research into that host body

Oh that's an interesting explanation for why Alt-Calliope-In-Pre-Retcon-Jade's-Body passed out (and almost certainly not the original team's reason). But Jade's narcolepsy was Vriska-induced.

DAVEBOT: you just went on another one didnt you ARADIA: yes DAVEBOT: who did you meet this time ARADIA: the necr- DAVEBOT: no dont tell me its simply too much to bear ARADIA: are you doing a bit DAVEBOT: of course im doing a bit

I do like the idea that Aradia uses her time powers to have entire adventures in between sentences. I suppose this also makes Pesterquest's Aradia arc canon, since that involved a bunch of HS2 stuff. I haven't played Pesterquest in forever so I don't know if the "necr-" ("necromancer"?) is a reference to that or foreshadowing.

ARADIA: actually i doomed thousands of timelines DAVEBOT: thats kind of fucked up ARADIA: yeah! ARADIA: to be fair i was doing it on purpose DAVEBOT: thats even more fucked up

Aradia is the best troll.

Dave's pillow wearing sunglasses is a great gag. Also, a cute character moment. Those glasses were a gift from John, and Dave kept them even after becoming a robot.

ARADIA: i could go see him right now DAVEBOT: you wont ARADIA: i wont 0u0

Assuming "him" in Sollux, that seems to imply that Aradia can come and go to Candyland freely, which is...interesting.

ARADIA: youre welcome 0u0 ARADIA: anyway the point im making here is that some of these missteps end up serving a grander purpose ARADIA: things that seem unimportant or even “wrong” can end up being essential components of whats meant to happen ARADIA: and who even decides whats wrong in the first place? DAVEBOT: i dunno megido thats borderline blasphemous

This is pretty obviously about Candyland, especially since Dave just shit on his pre-Ultimate Candy self as being a different person from a "lame" timeline, and "How much does it matter if something is canon or not?" is the question HS2 is allegedly about in the first place. But also I kind of like this nerdy time shit philosophizing even without the thematic subtext. The Homestuck EU has mostly been "Trolls! Aren't they neat!" and Ultimate Selves, but the Classpects haven't really been talked about much for a long Time.

Dave also refers to "Skaia's alpha timeline" in this conversation, but it's never been fully clear to what extent Skaia was pulling the strings. The "alpha" timeline was just the one with no paradoxes, and it was Lord English, not Skaia, who was making it so restrictive.

ARADIA: whats the right way for a butterfly to flap its wings? DAVEBOT: the way that doesnt make me gay

Dave...you are gay. You've been gay since Homestuck proper. It was a big part of why your marriage to Jade fell apart. Ultimate Dave is comprised of all Daves, and since Dave quit time-traveling before figuring out his sexuality, he seems to have regressed somewhat.

Dave was always scared of creating Dead Daves. "Dead Daves are the enemy", and it's why he doesn't time travel any more, and Aradia here seems to be arguing that this is limiting him, that he can't grow and explore without breaking some rules and dooming some timelines. This is, of course, Thematic™. You can't go in an interesting new direction if you're too worried about sticking to what the story's "supposed" to be about.

DAVEBOT: also now feels like a good time to mention that despite my omnitemporal awareness of everything that has and ever will happen to me i actually have no idea where the fuck youre proposing to take me ARADIA: oh word ARADIA: fun huh? DAVEBOT: being real i kind of hate it ARADIA: woohoo! DAVEBOT: youre such a freak DAVEBOT: TONE INDICATOR: AFFECTIONATE

ARADIA: cmon you shithead

This is such a fun pairing.

Hm. Calliope gets back up right as Aradia and Davebot's feeling jam is getting somewhere and makes them stop. Hmmm...

Good update. Aradia is my favorite troll and this was Good Aradia Content. I am increasingly convinced that she is not a Handmaid to Calliope, despite the cult outfit. Also rather interested in what's up with the Double Alt Calliope thing, but I imagine that'll get a follow-up at some point.

#Homestuck #Homestuck 2

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princess-viola · 10 months

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honestly as a leftist, i make fun of both liberals who think that voting is the be-all, end-all of the political process and all you need to do to change stuff is show up at the ballot box every few years and nothing else and other leftists who constantly say shit about you shouldn't vote because it's all just petty bourgeoisie politics and nothing will actually change because both parties are fundamentally the same and we need to start engaging in direct action to enact real change (of course these types don't do any of that, they just complain on their social media of choice) because like they're both idiots, for different reasons

like, politically i'm a libertarian socialist who pretty much agrees with the general anarchist position 99% of the time and do i think that by voting, we'll somehow achieve the society i want to see? absolutely not, that ain't ever going to happen

but i'll tell you what voting does do - harm reduction

i'm queer - im transfeminine, non-binary, asexual, and lesbian. i'm also puerto rican (visibly non-white) and autistic.

now of the two political parties here in the US, we have one party (the republicans) who basically have their official position being that queer folk like myself are p*dophiles, groomers, perverts, and all other awful shit and are passing or trying to pass laws stripping us of our rights to exist. luckily, many of these laws are being struck down by courts. and that's not including all the other BS laws they're passing or attempting to pass stripping other groups of their freedoms and rights

and then on the other hand, you have the democrats. i could go on all day about how much i hate the democratic party but that's not the point right now because you know what the democratic party isn't doing? passing laws trying to strip enitre groups of americans of their rights and freedoms.

and i'd much rather have the democrats in power than the republicans and that's why i vote and why you should vote too. democrats are awful, i agree completely, but in literally zero fucking universe do i want the republicans to remain in power.

save your fucking bullshit 'oh well by voting for the democrats you're still playing into their corporate-backed interests' nonsense. if i have a choice between 'party that is corporate-backed and wishes people like me didn't exist' and 'party that is corporate-backed and doesn't wish people like me didn't exist', then you bet your ass i want to see the latter in power

and honestly speaking if you disagree with that statement, then all you're doing is just admitting you're privileged and won't be affected by whichever party is power because hoo-boy the vast majority of these 'don't vote, both parties are the same nothing will change if you vote it's a waste of time' leftists turn out to just be cishet white men

#text post #politics #voting #leftism

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demoiselettes · 1 year

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hi hi!! your blog is cute :) can i please request a matchup? im sydney, bisexual, & use she/her pronouns!

for my appearance, im 5’2, have long light brown hair, hazel eyes, a beauty mark above my lip, a button nose, perpetually rosy cheeks, and kinda pale skin! i do kinda have the same body type as mitsuri boobs if that’s any help!

for my personality, im fairly bubbly, affectionate, and optimistic! i love physical affection and i tend to just latch onto people im comfortable with. if something bothers me i won’t really say anything, maybe be a little passive aggressive though aajdkrkrk. im pretty sensitive and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, even if it hurts sometimes. i love animals, all kinds, and scary movies! as much as i love cute and soft things, im strangely fascinated with scary things! my hobbies include gardening, yoga, reading, baking, doodling, and shopping!

ps my favorite colors are pastels, right now id say it’s pastel or very light pink, maybe yellow! please and thank you :)

Eventide

I match you with Zenitsu Agatsuma!

•First of all, Zenitsu literally acts like he’s drunk around you

•The moment he sees you he forgets everything else, doesn’t take note of what is happening around him, he’s just making a goddamn beeline for you

•It’s a good thing you’re okay with physical affection, since it’s obvious he’ll just jump on you at any opportunity

•Give him hugs, and you’ve got yourself one happy Zenitsu for the day :)

•He really adores your optimistic and cheerful attitude

•It’s simply a nice contrast from most of the people he’s met during his time in the corps (excluding Tanjiro)

•I feel like for that specific reason, he’d come to you whenever something’s bothering him

•Which means a lot, since most things tend to bother him

•Like you’ll just be minding your own business and you’ll suddenly feel someone hug you from behind and sob into your back and start complaining out of nowhere

•But really, he trusts you quite a ton, and he hopes doing so won’t lead to the same results he’s had with his previous girlfriends :(

•For your sake, Zenitsu does his best to toughen up

•If anyone bothers you, he’ll square up to them on your behalf

•More times than not, it ends with him getting punched or insulted, but he doesn’t mind if it’s for your sake

•Usually Zenitsu is a pacifist, so he’ll avoid picking a fight with your offender and will just.. try to talk things through

•If there’s one thing he hates (other than dying) it’s the thought of you being sad or upset in any way

•So you know fugu, Shinobu’s goldfish

•I cannot tell you how many times this dude would get in trouble with Shinobu for sneaking the aquarium to you bc he knows you like animals

•if fugu is off limits, he has.. Chuntaro!

•Fortunately the bird seems to like you quite a lot and isn’t too bothered with Zenitsu using him as bait to charm you

•However, even with how much he loves you, Zenitsu tries not to summon your love for scary stuff too much

•Being in the corps itself is a horror movie on its own, so if you start narrating scary stories, he’s going to pass out and then you’d face the other Zenitsu who’s less gentle..

•Trust me, he’d try to listen to you talk about them, but he’d start shaking and panicking so much and would probably ask you to spend the night with him

•…okay maybe he will ask you to narrate scary stories…

•Definitely takes pride on the fact that’s taller than you, even by a lot and never misses an opportunity to try these ‘charming’ actions of helping you reach for stuff or bending down to your height during conversations to show how much taller he is even though it’s not by a lot lmao i’m sorry

•loves loves loooves to kiss your cheeks! Thinks they’re absolutely adorable and kinda wants to bite them but he’d never that’s between you and me haha

•Most likely someone who would compliment your eyes by saying he ‘gets lost in them’ or he ‘could drown in them’ and even though it’s cheesy, he really means that he loves your eyes from how pretty they are!

•boops your nose a ton, no questions asked

•oh he’ll be taking you shopping alright

•He isn’t shy about spending money for your sake, just as long as you’re happy with him!

•Yeah, his self-esteem is not the best, and he often thinks you’re too good for him which is why he nearly turns into a doormat for your sake :( and giving you whatever you want for a little bit of your love

•Do reassure him that you truly love him though, he might cry a little but it’s from happiness and relief

•he sometimes asks Aoi if he can borrow the kitchen at the butterfly estate to bake goodies with you

•It’s a lot like those scenes where he teases you by smudging flour onto your face, etc..

•he’s a really cliché kind of lover but he’s love is definitely pure and real and he just loves moments of domestic bliss like these

•On the other hand he’s much more reluctant to do yoga.. he’s happy to assist though!

•the definition of ‘draw me like one of your french girls’ he always asks you to doodle him

•Sadly, he can’t get you a ton of books since he’s mostly on mission, but he does compensate by narrating anecdotes from the places he goes to while on those missions!

•Overall he basically worships you

#tysm for the kind words 🥹💕#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #nan’s eventide.#zenitsu agatsuma matchup

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miruac · 4 months

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007 | skate?

masterlist

synopsis: what does yunmei think of casey now? will they become friends again? maybe...even more?

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of overthinking + anxiety

pairing: yunmei qi x casey ruang(oc)

NOVEMBER 4TH - 10:25 P.M

casey: bro SEEN 10:26 P.M casey: BRO SEEN 10:26 P.M casey: my cousins single isaac: LEMME AT HER casey: ur so annoying casey: gimme your thoughts on this isaac: bro is she single or not?? casey: no casey: okay so SEEN 10:26 P.M casey: dude. isaac: yeah yeah isaac: que? casey: me and yun almost kissed isaac: 💀 what stopped you casey: drunk couple, but things are awkward between us and idk what to do isaac: well you came to the right guy 😎 isaac: shes literally your ideal type; didnt you guys click like immediately? casey: dude the last thing i said to her was “you weather good” isaac: you weather good is wild 😭 dw too much, just trust 🙏 casey: okay, bet isaac: 👍

;;

casey turned off his phone, pushing it aside. he slumped over his desk. things with yun have been rather…awkward since the party. every time either of them tried to initiate a conversation, it ended up getting so tense that they just gave up on talking. during class, they even sat apart to avoid the embarrassment. he turned his head, looking at the empty door frame. the same one that Yun would always lean on when she came to bug casey over a logical question. It felt like a thorn poking at his heart. his heart filled with worry and anxiety, clouding his brain with thoughts. what if yun thought casey was just some kind of freak? what if she thought he’s a guy who gets close to girls on purpose, just to leave them in the dust? what if-

“hi, can I…come in?"

;;

yun: Tiff tiffy: hi girlie tiffy: smth happen? yun: well i almost kissed casey tiffy: OKAY???? ATTA GIRL yun: no but like i haven’t talked to him since the party, we don't even sit together anymore bc its so awkward tiff: oh god tiff: werent u guys inseparable before yun: yeah :< and now im like terrified that i weirded him out or made everything awkward yun: like hes a great guy, hes so nice and sweet but what if? tiff: girlie, it’s all in your head tiff: youre thinking too much “what if”, you’re thinking of false scenarios that'll literally never happen tiff: don’t worry too much, and go talk to him. Take a breather!! U got this, itll all be okayyun: okay but tiff: girl i love u, but SHUT UP AND GO GET UR MANyun: okok 😭 thank u <3

the girl was curled in a fetal position on her bed. She yawned, rolling over so that she was facing her desk. Casey’s blue polo neatly laid across the back of Yun’s chair. After the party, Yun almost cried. Not out of sadness, but mostly out of anxiety. Growing up she was the girl who would get asked out as a joke, and was constantly stood up. She stared up at her ceiling, before sitting up out of bed. The polo had been in her room for a couple days now, and Yun felt a bit bad for keeping so many of Casey’s clothes in her room. Glancing in her mirror, she gave her hair a quick pat down and uttered a couple words of self encouragement before mustering enough courage to give the boy’s things back. She grabbed Casey’s clothes and stepped down the hall, hesitating before stopping in front of his door.

“Hi, can I…come in?”

the boy let out a sigh of relief, nodding. he scooted away from his desk and patted his bed. yun stepped in, hesitantly sitting down on the spot. She took a breath, before beginning to speak.

“listen, sorry for what happened at the party. i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I feel bad since we’re so…awkward now. oh, and here’s your shirt from that night. I don’t wanna hog onto your stuff.”

the girl placed down his stuff at the foot of his bed.

casey nodded, his lips pursed into a tight line. seconds which felt like minutes passed, the atmosphere becoming tense. the boy opened his mouth, as if he was about to speak before closing it again. he was struggling to find words that wouldn't escalate the situation, but it took longer than he thought.

as the silence grew longer, yun felt her hands start to shake and her heart speed up. she was never the best in tense situations. the feeling of not knowing what could happen next combined with a habit of overthinking, it was a combo that yun despised. she would feel nauseous, always be on edge, and have the sudden urge to vomit while her head was filled with doubt.

“you don’t have to apologize,” casey reached over to hold yunmei’s shaking hands, grasping them firmly.

“it was..a night indeed. you didn’t make me uncomfortable. to be frank, i thought I was the one who scared you off.”

a chuckle escaped his mouth, his eyes crinkling. the warm sound made yun exhale, not knowing she held her breath. she let out a small laugh, gradually growing into a hearty giggle. the two laughed together, their voices syncing together and gradually growing louder. with the anxiety washed away, happiness and relief filled both of their senses. unknowingly, two others were standing at the door, eavesdropping.

“you think they realized we were here all along?”

“hm. for a jock you have pretty light steps.”

“mhat’s that supposed to mean? you’re wearing shoes that are taller than all my abuelita’s jesus candles!”

“oh, shut up isaac.”

“you first, tiffy.”

DECEMBER 14TH; I.H DORMITORIES; 10:30 P.M

“dude, do it. ask her out. the city skating rink literally just opened, and they're doing something with…yo, what are those blinkers called?”

“did you just ask me what lights are?”

“...no. just ask her out. if she says yes, i’ll give you some of my moms tamales.”

“swear?”

“yeah.”

“100%?”

“totally.”

“okay. i’ll call you back. thanks, celestino.”

“yeah, good luck ruang.”

beep

okay. You can do it. You won’t freak her out, and the worst thing she can do is say no. man up, casey, you got this!

casey thought to himself. winter was just creeping around past the corner, about to arrive. the weather got significantly colder, and everyone’s breath was visible in the freezing air. but what also creeping around was casey’s growing feelings for yunmei. when the two first met, casey felt his face flush, but he thought it was from the lingering summer heat. he didn’t expect it to grow into a crush that had him smiling at his phone every time yun texted him.

the lovestruck boy walked over to his mirror, checking himself before going to yunmei’s room. black pyjama pants covered with little white lightning bolts, a grey and blue hoodie, and those tousled, fluffy dark brown locks of his. Mustering all his courage, he made it way out of his room and down the hall to Yunmei. Casey held his breath, knocking on her door.

“hey, it’s me.”

;;

yunmei sat at her desk, clicking away with knitting needles. usually she liked winter, but could never withstand the cold that came with it. one of the pros was that it was the prime time to knit. growing up, yun always had to fidget with something in order to keep her overthinking and anxiety at bay. she discovered knitting in middle school, and had been knitting since. over the years she’s made little trinkets varying from little hats to massive blankets. she was in the middle of making a pair of fingerless gloves, interrupted by two knocks at her door.

“hey, it’s me.”

a familiar and soft voice said from behind the door. it was routine for yunmei and casey to go to each others rooms at random times of day, just to see what the other was up to. but unknowingly, it was just because they enjoyed being in each other's presence.

yunmei got up from her chair, sliding on her slippers and walking toward the door. She opened it, and was greeted with a soft smile.

“hi.”

“yo, you okay?”

casey nodded his head, running his hand through his hair. He crossed his arms, his fingers fidgeting with the hoodie sleeve to distract him from the growing anxiety.

“yeah, yeah I’m fine. so hey, listen. the city skating rink is open, and i heard it isn’t busy at this time. I was wondering if you’d like to go? with me?”

“...”

“it’s okay if you don’t want to, I completely understa-”

“like a date?”

---------------------------------------------------------------

AHHHHHHHHHHH HI EVERYONE IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE POST AND FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER

highschool is REALLY kicking my butt i never thought it would get this hard on every test i have thats abt smth i dont know i literally write "uh oh i dont know this" WHEN THE MATERIAL I STUDIED ISNT ON THE TEST

anyways sorry for the pissy rant um, happy new year to everyone! can't wait to leave 2023 and everything that happened in that year... we do not speak of her ever again!

spent my entire break knitting and i think im getting carpal tunnel + school starts in like two days and i sleep from 4am to 2pm help im screwed

okay idk what im talking about but if youre reading this rn; youre a g and i love u, thank you for giving good night central so much love <3 i hope to be able to write more, miru signing off!

#casey ruang #goodnight central #fluff #miruac #podcast au #college au #oc #yunmei qi #slowburn

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maurenislife · 7 months

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Miss martyr

Sir scapegoat

That is me

I wish that man blew my brains apart in that parking lot

Or when i almost had my heartrate slow down n die in my sleep off beans

Or the one time i passed out in my kitchen

What about the time i tried to jump out my window

Or the one time i tried to leap in front of a car

Jealous of me in my dreams im always dying or choosing too, getting stabbed to death while somebody looks me in my eyes n my life dont flash, it cut to black

I live pathetic existence

Like only so many times i can get up n recover or pick up my pieces n put them all back together with no regrets or like putting it back together confidently like this rlly me

Or am I overdramatic mellow dramatic

Like is it all a mixup

Till i review the footage in my brain of last 25 years

And everything stings like it happened yesterday even when im sober nothing rlly comes together my brain is a empty apartment with no where to sit, just standing there, wondering where everyone is, when is anybody coming back?

Does anybody care enough to sit n listen n care for 0$.

Everything comes at a exchanging price

When the personalities all collide

It makes one empty person,

When u finally show people how empty it is, look around when there truly is nothing more to see then its time to go

All the exes get to peak inside and see that its just as fucked up n blank in here.

How having no mother figure truly makes u feel a bit withdrawn i dont have her checking in she could rlly care less i see why im not doing anything worthy but breathing n taking up space n money by being alive

Im sure thats how my dad feels too, just preserving my body my entity cause its the proper thing to do.

Alot of things truly mean nothing

Not money, not the car being paid off, not the nicest fit or hair its to cover up all the stuff i know ill never recieve cause it cant be bought u cant buy love or warmth or a soul or innocence or buy back anything literally forced outta me.

Its now just me

Gotta worry bout me

Why u do fake pills maybe a lucky one will take me out this life, put me in the infinite sleep cycle,

So peaceful thinking about the day u wont be here.

My biggest mistake was ever rlly just not playing the role i know how to play well,

Zip it!

Everything done to me is sad no doubt

But whats sadder is i truly believed my prayers worked i never pray yanno im like omg somebodies listening to me besides

Doris and its not true there is no god for me

Devil ingrained the future for me long time ago, suffering since just in the pit of my stomach i stand in the empty small space. I stare in the room

Its just me again void is unfillable

Once my grandma leave this earth i will do the same maybe not now, I threaten kms all the time cause its peaceful

This life is full of broken promises and people willing to make them knowing theres only one promise

Death

Love isnt promised unless u love yourself

I can touch my hand in the mirror n still feel bad for the reflection

I know im not the prettiest the funniest or the bestest im literally on bottom of my own shoe

Shes terrible, i can be replaced with better

I can do better i can try harder but its the void right there, it doesnt care what you may do, who u are. Ur void is the never ending pocket of what u will never have.

I wanted all the pathetically dumb shit

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bluesandboos · 1 year

Note

HI THAT ANON WAS ME i have no idea why i sent it on anon actually 😭

I LOVE the long posts so this will probably be long as well <3 waking up to muchachos sounds like the best thing ever omg DONT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR SCREAMING I WAS DOING THE SAME AT HOME OMG i kept seeing videos of people at those screens, i cant imagine what it was like to actually be there 😭 the baby in front of you sleeping through the whole thing 😭❤️

i have no memories period of di maria's goal i was literally floating my way through that match and i will NEVER sit through it fully again (except certain parts obv)

that song's this one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTnRlJTusME it's prob my favorite tbh it's just so catchy!!

I literally don't remember that save either, everyone was talking about it afterwards but my hands were literally still shaking from the match in general, i saw it on instagram. i don't even remember most of the shootout but SOMOS TODOS MONTIEL I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANT AND IT STILL GAVE ME CHILLS THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

going to gardens and getting only honking sounds about right and a very specific, but no less valid vibe of its own 👍 literally every time i see pictures or videos of the celebrations, even now, i am in actual awe over the amount of people that turned out and celebrated (obviously lol) before the parade even and even more during it!! someone told me the dibu burger is actually super good, im genuinely dying to try it it looks great 😭 that image is so funny though, argentina won the wc and people are lining up to buy the dibu's burger as they should!! the store owners were either worried about crowds or they shut down to go celebrate themselves lbr 💀

the newspaper!!! gloria eterna thats beautiful stuff!!!! and the goat chips omg, pls dont apologize i am loving the visual aspect of this i've been watching celebration videos non-stop bc i watched so many after they won that its all my instagram recommendations show me anymore. https://mobile.twitter.com/PLF_2008/status/1606926273833467905 this is my favorite <3

i'm so glad you had fun it seems like such a surreal experience and thank you so much for these answers and videos!!!!❤️

OMG HI HI HI thank you for enjoying my rambles <3333 it was so nice to go through it all again, ugh i miss it so much

the baby was built different. i KNOW he's gonna hear it when he gets older about how he fell asleep during the 2022 wc final when argentina became campion del mundo. literally the greatest match of all time and he knocked.

di maria's goal, once i re-watched the highlights and actually registered what was happening, is literally the sexiest thing i've ever seen. the loss of possession, the build up, the quick passes. A TEAM GOAL FR. but whenever i re-watch highlights i can only watch argentina's goals. i have to fast-forward through the penalties that france gets and mbappe's goal; it upsets me too much lmao

also after di maria's goal, people were chanting his name and the camera's were showing how he was crying after he scored and i was just so happy for him <333 also afterwards, I read this article (https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/angel-di-maria-argentina-english) and it just made me even more happy that he got a goal in a wc final + won the wc.

ole ole ola is a BANGER omg argentines only coming up with bangers confirmed ty for the link :))

i ended up getting a dibu burger at the airport!!! 10/10 would eat again, my man dibu only comes out with quality content, on and off the pitch.

ppl were wasted af lmao one drunk man came up to my dad (who does not speak a lick of spanish) and was literally in tears trying to hug him and my dad was just like "sir, it's okay, you won, it's okay" (in english, mind you)

for real though, i legit think about how lucky i was to be there and experience it all every single day. and i get a nice reminder every day because my social media is ALSO ALL FOOTBALL now. my tiktok for you page still shows me edits ("the little boy from rosario" lives rent free in my head) and i obviously have to watch every time. although i can't re-watch the 120' minute save because it literally gives me anxiety that it's going to go in this time (even though it's literally over).

that tweet omg :))) im just so happy not only for the players but for the PEOPLE, the way that they loved that team and suffered through all the finals and losses. no one else deserved it more. i love seeing the abuelas dancing in the street and the songs about them- makes me so happy :)

it was so surreal. top memory of life. thank you again for asking and sitting through my rambles and content dump <3

#mailtime

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doodlesolar · 1 year

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i am salty at time

tldr at bottom like im some fucking redditor lmao (the funny is that i am a redditor)

i hate being a young age. i hate being less than 18 (i am 17) and not being able to interact with the fandom of an adult show I shouldn't have even gotten invested in. its nobodys fault i know that these rules exist for a very good goddamn reason im just. salty at time. fuck it thats the title of this post

I didn't exactly decide to get invested in this show (hazbin). I went through a traumatic event at the same time as my undertale friends were posting alastor x reader fics on quotev, and having seen the pilot a while earlier (promising myself i wouldnt get invested until i was older :rolling_eyes:) i clicked on the fics. my enthusiasm with undertale was dying out, the fandom for it on quotev was waning and i was on the hunt for a new coping mechanism to latch myself to so that definitely didn't help. shouldn't have read the fics or even watched the pilot in the first place considering its very clearly an adult show, but what teenager whos been through shit actually listens to those warnings? i know, a lot of excuses, but at least its relatively conseequence-free...? its not like im using a fake id to get alcohol or anything lmao

anyways. there's Emotions in my brain right now. like, man! i was born too late to properly experience some of the best fandom shenanigans! and you can't just tell me that I'll experience those when im older, do you see how fast the internet is changing?? reading posts detailing shenanigans from the harry potter fandom or the minecraft fandom is like,, sure i can look back but. here let me use an example that might make more sense. it's the same feeling as turning on streetpass on my 3DS and knowing that the age of being able to actually pass anyone with a 3DS on the street is gone and over and dead. the dread of that future is the feeling I get when i see these cool fandom things happening in the Adult World (TM) and its like I'm so fuckin close to being the Age. I'm literally 17,, time go slower please. not because i dont want to be the age of 18 yet (i actually want to be 18 sooner for many reasons that are TMI and would require a paragraph of trigger warnings to even start to get into) but i'm more saying that i want *culture* to move slower. Don't leave me before I get the chance to experience you, I say! But it's literally too late for a lot of it, especially with videogames but also with TV shows. the undertale fandom is populated by a good amount of children and i was obviously one of them (still am!) but if i didn't lie about my age i wouldve never had as much fun as i did, even considering the very child-friendly content of the game itself. im never cosplaying as an adult online ever again because 1. too stressful and 2. im almost 18 anyways but I STILL FEEL EMOTIONS about the amount of time that i still have to wait eeeeeeee. zuck better hold his HORSES 4 fucks sake. the internets changing. eee.

TL;DR i shouldnt have gotten invested in hazbin, but i did, and now im remembering all the fandom things with nintendo that i brainlessly watched pass by me and now wish i couldve experienced. Although I'm almost 18, i compare the hazbin stuff to the nintendo stuff and its freaking me out irrationally.

#curse my foolish past self #nostalgia #oh god time go too fast slow the fuck DOWN #not tagging this with any of the fandom tags... obviously...#on quotev i do post and interact with fics but thats because quotev is a very pg-13 site #at least in my experience anyways. the fics i read on there sure are.#if anyone will tell me why my mind REFUSES TO UN-GLUE ITSELF from hazbin #let me know i guess lmao

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keefwho · 2 years

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August 19

12:00 PM

I just need to stop, I can’t take this anxiety. I literally am too tired to deal with it right now. I want it all to stop. Its so STUPID, none of it makes any sense. It’s a bunch of broken thought processes. That makes it all the more irritating.

1:58 PM

I’ve got a challenge ahead of me, I can do this. I want to break free from this constant worry. Remember that I keep expecting the worse, but nothing should be as bad as I imagine it. It’ll be a normal week going forward. The people in the area are probably normal people and don’t even know it might storm or simply don’t care. They don’t obsess over this like I do. What I do is abnormal, I aim to be like all these other people. They put into perspective that my worry is unfounded. SO many people don’t think about this kind of thing daily so it must not be a big deal. I’m okay, I’m healthy and that’s normal. It’s normal to find distractions to pass the time. I don’t have to monitor my stomach, it does me no good. I should be focusing on things I like to do.

I might be lonely this weekend but that’s okay too. I shouldn’t be, I can always hop on VR with other people. And I can still message my friends. I feel like I puppy left home alone right now. Maybe because while I CAN hang out with other people, I can’t just start approaching them with my problems. I don’t feel the same kind of comfort around them as I do my bestest friends.

Remember not to expect the worst, expect neutral.

Also remember that even though having and actual stomach virus would be miserable, it’s almost impossible I could get one right now. It’s very rare as it is for people that actually go outside. I’m completely safe, and I’d know if I had something that bad.

2:24 PM

I keep thinking that I’ve gotten worse over time but I think it might just be that I’m aware of it. I’ve always had these kinds of feelings but the difference before is that I would avoid them so much. Now I’m not avoiding them at all and I’m finding that they are much more present than I thought.

4:21 PM

How do I know if I’m being too much to my friends. How can I tell if I’m not wanted. I don’t think I can. Sometimes people don’t speak up and will keep putting up with you. I don’t want to bother anybody.

I’ll try to be brave. No one else should have to deal with me dumping my problems on them without asking.

4:54 PM

I don’t know why I feel like this today. I just want to lay down, cry, and stop existing. Everything is so hard these days and I don’t even have a light at the end of the tunnel I’m fighting for. Everything is uncertain. I feel alone through all of it.

6:32 PM

Time for more shameful documentation of my actual insanity. Neck hurts, tummy rumbles, I get scared for no reason. I submitted for a bit and napped while balled up in my hoodie in my chair. Woke up, took my temperature, it’s totally normal. I gotta remember it’s basically impossible to be sick, so stop thinking about it. Being healthy is normal, the evidence is all around me. AND I can still feel healthy and feel like shit. My neck still hurts and the nap made it worse. Sure I don’t feel perfectly great but I feel okay and thats normal behavior. No matter how I feel, realistically nothing terrible will happen in the near future. I will NOT get sick, and the storms will likely be weak. Its not the end of my life. All this will be over soon and things will go back to normal.

My friends don’t hate me, their behavior proves otherwise. Someone that doesn’t want to be around me wouldn’t willingly be around me.

I’m not a bad person, I’m just in a bad mood. I’ll probably feel better tomorrow.

6:57 PM

Pretend no storms are gonna happen. Then what? Then Im just dealing with the usual and trying not to get too bored. It would be comforting not having to put up with even more stuff I cant control. I bet there wont even be any windy storms, theres barely been any word of their severity. Im worrying for nothing. Ill probably feel silly when its all over just like last time.

Ive been deep in the anxiety. I don’t even know what I want. Who do I want to be and what do I want to do. I dont know, I just know I want to feel better. But then what? I’ll just be bored and go back to worrying because it’s the easiest thing to feel.

I guess who I want to be right now is the guy that would look forward to drinking on a Friday night with literally anyone. And then doing something productive and creative when social time is over. I’d eat a lovely drunk dinner and go to bed. Im not sure if I can achieve that right now but its an idea to keep in mind at least.

7:42 PM

Who even am I anymore. My fear has been ruling my life for weeks now. I’m not me, I’m a cocoon covered in my stupid problems. I’m not the guy that gets his work done and stands as a pillar on his own anymore. I’m a loser. I feel like every day I lose a little more personality. The dynamics with ALL my friends has changed and it’s all my fault. I HAVE to figure this shit out, I don’t want to slip any further. I miss what I used to be, I felt much more confident. Right now I feel confused as to why anyone bothers to be my friend. Or like the only reason anyone likes me is if I draw for them or something. I used to be more fun and do more things. These days I stick to whats comfortable because I’m afraid of slipping into a panic.

9:26 PM

Still neck deep in this crisis. There’s so much to untangle I don’t even know where to start. Maybe I’ll rant about it later. Right now my eyes hurt and I need to be eating something.

I’m all alone and no one is thinking about me. I’ve got no one but myself right now.

11:44 PM

I’ll try my best to not overthink things tomorrow and take the day as it comes. I’ll try to stay disciplined and act in ways that foster the kind of way I want to behave.

There are so many problems to tackle, its best to do them one at a time. If I conquer my anxiety for a little bit and start to feel worthless or something, then so be it. Eliminated my anxiety is my first goal. Other things can come later. I think the biggest thing is acceptance. Acceptance that my fears COULD happen, but are not destined. Some things will always be out of my control, but others will stay in my control. I can only do what I’m able.

12:05 PM

I think I’ve had my emotional time. I’ve kinda been going ham letting things spill out everywhere but it’s time to reign it in a little bit I think. Let it out more appropriately. I’ll try to distract myself more in the hopes that I won’t actually be DISTRACTING myself, but instead actually doing things that bring me meaning.

#journal

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astrxealis · 2 years

Text

anyways under the cut i will ramble abt sandalphon and i (+ etc) bcs i kind of cannot get him out of mind again

i saw a sandalphon edit some time ago and there was a quote related to stars and another "you're not alone" !! and OKAY HEROEHDK I KIND OF REALLY associate myself w stars. i really really love starsurhejd and its just like oh sandalphon w stars haha he looks up at them at night and is remindwd of me maybe? (also like w luci bcs. morning star. sobs) AJSHWHWJSJ AND THEN ... youre not alone is one of the biggest themes in ff endwalker so that just HIT ME LIKE A BULLETTRAIN JFCJDHSJ YOU CANT DO THIS SO MY HEART HELP HELLOW WHY

and then okay theres official art of sandalphon and the other angels wearing glasses? the one for sandalphon is more brown than mine but ours r around the same ... the look so similar ... haha matching couple glasses so true (mine r more peach/pink tho rirhwifhedjj) that drives me sigekebdkejd

i want to go on coffee shop and cafe and tea dates w sandalphon so bad !! i also have many brainrots abt him embracing me w his wings :]

ALSO ITS RLLY UNFAIR BCS THEMES W ANGELS ARE LOTERALLY ONE OF MY FAVES ... like w shb and then wmtsb and GODUSHSUSJS MY HEART !!

also thinking abt how hurt sandalphon wld be riehdisndksj w how im acting in ebg rn GODDAMN HRUT i blame my twin for this lune ihysm /nm JDHSJDBAKSJ I DONT WANT TO BREAK HIS HEART ANYMORE ... ESP W HIS PAST AND YK WHAT HAPPENS IN THE 1ST SIDE STORY YEAH ?? he just wants acknowledgment and love and all that and me ignoring him GDODOSJSKJWKSKAKS O DON THWATNT TO DO HRTA ANYMORE

but in a lighter note ive also been vv affectionate to my pichu stuffed toy lately !! p cute if sandy was jealous over a lil yellow baby LOLFIRHWIDJWKWH HELP AS YOU CAN SEE i also have kind of similar brainrots w xiao too ngl bcs damn yall giving me fluff and angst yo yes 🥹🥹🥹

my biggest enemy and sabotage tbh is the fact i think and talk a lot bcs my FIRST STRIKE WAS JUST ME MAKING FUNNT CONVO AND THEN SLIPPING i wont be surprised if my 3rd strike is wholly on accident tbh.

i want to nuzzle sandalphon yk ... we both actually have catlike tendencies eiehwihdiwbd IDBSKS i want to boop his nose w mine really badly actually. and also hug him. hed be very nice to hug

AND ALSO ... i fee as thoufh hes not actually that much taller than me (dimitri is tall though. i feel like xiao is around mt height too. diluc tall tho. uhhh g'raha is actually shorter than irl me canonically so...) ODHSKDNS BUT IT DOESNT RLLY SEEM LIKE THAT WAY BCS HE ACTUALLY WEARS HEELS LIKE YES sandlaphon is genuinely the guy you would call babygirl. raha is literally the epitome of lil meow meow and tbh sandy is also a lil meow meow but for me hes the epitome of babygirl. WIFE malewife Odhwiqhswiwj ALSO VANE IS CNAONICALLY TECHNICALLT A MALEWIFE HELLO WHAT hes the mom of the dragon knights ITS UNFAIR BCS HES ALSO TECHNICALLY A HIMBO W BIGG ASS FUCK BOOBAS LIKE WHAT THE EHCK YOURE SO PRECIOUS AND CUTE BUT THEN YORIE SO BIG /SFW

tbh this isnt even just abt sandy n i anymore just me rambling a lot HAHSUAHAJAJ

AND THENNNDISDHJ BELIAL OH MY GODDDDIEHEIWHWJSJSJJSKS I CANT STOPPPOehwj

i think abt belial calling me by some SCANDALOUS NICKNAME /lh nah nothinf vv scandalous dw just stuff like pretty girl ... then he realizes i am also in fact weak as well to pretty boy ...

i want belial to invade my personal space but like obvs i wld allow him too tho ???? if that makes sense dw this isnt forced or anythinf or /neg this is vv much /pos i want belial to put a finger under my chin and lift me up. teasing me for a kiss that i just want rllt badly but first i have to tell him that i love him and aRGEGDHSHDJ I HATE HIS GUYS SO MUCH

okay ill stop rambling here for now help ive taken up almost half an hour of my simp pass alrdy IDHWIDBS

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#✩.saved #⋯ ꒰ა hell on earth ໒꒱ *·˚#IFHEHEBWIDHSKDJ ....#✩.selfship

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delicrieux · 3 years

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand)

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it.

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge.

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too.

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view.

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”.

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute.

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets.

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance.

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?”

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over.

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae.

looking hot, her message read.

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse social media au #corpse husband fanfic #social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #corpse husband fic #reader #xreader #imagine #imagines #myso #make you say oh

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akakeiiji · 3 years

Note

HI!~ (THIS IS MY FIRST TINE REQUESTING AND IM REALLY EXCITED) Can I request a scenario where their smol s/o (I'm like 155 or 5'1 for reference) gets easily lost? Like they just wonder off on their own cause they think that he's still with them and she tends to leave her phone with him so calling to find her is out of the question??? (Me honestly IM SORRY FRIENDS AND FAMILY) She likes a lot of things so sometimes its hard to find her cause they never know where she is? Ushi, Tsuki and Bokuto-🌼

-`,✎ Ushijima, Tsukishima and Bokuto losing their short S/O in a crowd

THIS REQUEST IS JUST TOO ADORABLE AND IT HITS SO CLOSE TO HOME!! We’re the same height nonnie 🤧🤧✋ Short gang, where ya’ll at?

Also I apparently don’t know how to read because I thought you requested for headcanons at first despite you clearly asking for scenarios so I decided to keep the hcs since I was already halfway done with them~ hope you don’t mind, nonnie!

The man is literally built like the empire state building, he just towers over everyone, it’s insane

And then there you are behind him, all tiny and stuff, it’s so friggin adorable

He doesn’t really notice your height difference at all

Whenever people point it out, he just cocks his head with his eyebrows furrowed and is like “Yeah, I’m tall?? And they’re short?? Why are you reacting like that?”

He’s genuinely confused and doesn’t see why it’s a big deal at all

When he looks at you he doesn’t really pick up on itty bitty details like your height and stature; he just sees you for the whole you and sees you simply as this perfect deity that he loves

But he does appreciate the perks that come with it such as the way you feel when he hugs you after a match or the way you look up at him so adorably when you’re trying to get a kiss

He also didn’t realize the cons that came with having a tiny s/o

There are many but we’re focusing on the fact that it’s so easy to lose you in a crowd

He’ll literally look away for 0.5 seconds and when he looks back at you, you’re suddenly gone

He probably won’t notice for a bit but after a while, he’ll wonder why you aren’t holding onto his sleeve or hand anymore

Whenever this happens he usually goes about it in two ways; he’d either stay still where he is and let you find him (which isn’t hard, he sticks out like a sore thumb) or if enough time passes, he’ll retrace his steps and look for you himself

He’ll have a tiny little frown on his face since he gets so worried about you, like you’re so tiny what if you get trampled??

When he does find you though, the wide smile on your face when you catch sight of him honestly makes the search worth it

can you tell that I miss ushi so friggin much

The streets in downtown Tokyo are always so packed at this time of day. There were hundreds of people rushing to and from work, tourists taking in the sights, and busy shoppers such as yourself and Ushijima; you two had just finished shopping together and were heading to your favorite restaurant in the area as you always do to end your date night.

Your hand remained tightly wrapped around the hem of your boyfriend’s coat as you two made your way down the busy streets, struggling to not get pulled away as people continued to mercilessly push past you. You would have much rather held Ushijima’s hand but he insisted on carrying all your shopping bags and was rather preoccupied with them at that moment.

He marched on, oblivious to your struggles behind him. It was during times like this when you hated how short your legs were, you were practically jogging to keep up with your boyfriend who, to him, was only going at a leisurely pace.

Before you knew it, your hand had loosened and you suddenly lost hold of his coat. You looked up, hoping to find him just a few feet away, but he had disappeared into the sea of people all around you.

Ushijima hadn’t noticed anything at first, he was too focused on where he was going to realize that the little tugs on the hem of his coat throughout the journey were suddenly gone. He looked down at both his hands and placed the shopping bags on one of them to the other so that he could use it to hold your own.

He held out his free hand behind him, calling out your name, and motioned for you to grab it. A few seconds went by of him gesturing like this only to be met with no response.

He looked back, eyebrows furrowed, only to find no sign of you.

Ushijima immediately stops in his tracks, eyes widening ever so slightly as he did a little 360 turn in his spot, raking over the crowds rushing past him in hopes he’d find your familiar head of hair bouncing about.

He stood motionless where he was, forcing people to walk around him—most wanted to tell him off for standing in the middle of the street but no one had the balls to.

A few minutes went by and he began walking down the direction he came from looking everywhere for you. Worry began to bubble in him when you were still nowhere to be found but suddenly he saw a figure waving at him from afar.

You were standing on top of those small cement blocks on the bottom street lights, waving your free hand that wasn’t wrapped around the lamp towards your boyfriend, grinning ear to ear when you met eyes with him.

Ushijima smiled in relief, shoulders relaxing as he made his way over to you. You met him halfway, immediately wrapping your arms around him in a hug, burying your face into his chest.

“I’m never letting go of your hand next time.” He said, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of your head before interlocking your fingers together. You laughed, nodding in agreement. “Definitely not.”

We all already know this: Kei is fucking ruthless

It doesn’t matter that you’re dating. It doesn’t matter that you’re literally his favorite person in the world tho he’ll never admit this to you you will not be free from his savageness

No one is more hyper-aware of your height difference than he is and no one teases you more than him

Tsukishima is literally the type to steal your things and hold them over your head or he’ll purposefully stand at full height whenever you want to kiss him just so that he can watch you struggle

“Oh, babe, I didn’t see you from down there.”

Is the type to purposefully put things you use all the time up on the top shelves in cupboards and cabinets

He says that he does this to annoy but really he does this so that you can call him to help you since he banned you from climbing the counters 🤧✋

He really loves your height though as much as he likes to tease you for it

He loves how easy it is to wrap his arms around you and how you burrow into his chest whenever you hug

His favorite thing about your height is probably the fact that it’s so comfortable being the big spoon with you since you fit so snuggly against him 🥺

again he’ll never tell you this, my man is tight-lipped

However he can get very protective over you, it’s like he developed this idea in this head that small = fragile

So whenever he loses track of you in a crowd (which happens a lot, it's honestly embarrassing) he immediately drops everything and searches for you

He’ll have this permanent pout on his face as he retraces his steps, going back to wherever you two were and keeping an eye out for either you or places that would catch your eye

Once he finally catches you, he’d sigh in relief and immediately put up his “i’m annoyed right now, give me attention” face and head over to you, knocking your head with his knuckles lightly

He’d lecture you a bit about staying close to him and he’d spend the rest of your time out with his eye on you and with his hand tightly wrapped around your own

The mall was always so crowded during the weekend especially now that Christmas was just around the corner. Tsukishima told you that you two should visit the mall later during the week but you were just so excited to see this new movie, he simply couldn’t say no; he cursed himself for being so tightly wrapped around your finger.

The building was already pretty full when you two entered the cinema but when you two emerged, it was as if the number of people there seemed to double in just a span of a few hours.

As you two made your way through the tight-knit crowds of people, the frown on Tsukishima’s face never left as people kept pushing and rushing past him. He called out your name behind him and said, “See, I told you we should have come after the weekend, it’s like half the city is here right now.”

He waited for your usual giggle or scoff, maybe a light smack on his arm as you tell him to brighten up but there wasn’t any of that.

“(Y/N)? Did you hear me? I—(Y/N?),” He turned around, worried that you may have been upset at him but instead was surprised to find that you weren’t trailing along behind him like he expected you to be.

He turned around fully, hands coming out of his pocket as he raked his eyes over the crowds of people around him. It would be nearly impossible to find you here, there were probably hundreds of people in the mall now.

Tsukishima groaned slightly as he ran a hand through his locks, his other hand going into his pant pocket to ring your phone only to realize that it was with him as well, right next to his. This elicited a second groan from the blonde.

Knowing you, you probably got distracted by something and wandered away from him.

He retraced his steps, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. He had no idea when you wandered away from him so you could have been anywhere. He stood at full height, towering over the majority of the crowd, and scanned the entirety of the floor and the shops on it.

He entered a few stores he knew you’d most likely visit; the bookstore, the pet store, and a shop that was having a 50% sale but he found no traces of you.

Tsukishima was about to give up and head to the information desk and ask them to announce something on the loudspeaker to grab your attention—probably something along the lines of “To the small gremlin wandering around floor three right now, please meet Tsukishima Kei at the main exit.”—when he spotted a bright store on the other side of the floor.

You were there. He just knew it.

He rolled his eyes as he made his way to the anime store and low and behold, there you were, crouching as you stared at the shelves of anime merchandise, a wide ear to ear grin on your face.

Tsukishima sighed and lightly smacked you, tearing you away from your thoughts and making you look up at him in shock.

“You are such an idiot, (Y/N).” You only laughed in response and wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed your face onto his chest. “Aww, Kei! Were you worried about me?”

“Of course, I was. How do you expect me to feel?” He said with another roll of his eyes. He brought his hand up and placed it on top of your head. “I was worried someone thought you were a child and kidnapped you.”

You let out an indignant gasp and started to smack him but he only laughed and took your hand in his, dragging you out of the store behind him ignoring your protests.

Nobody in the whole entire world thinks you’re more adorable than Bokuto

He adores the fact that you’re so tiny, he likes you call you his pocket-sized s/o

He never really teases you, instead he always coos and coddles you

He especially loves lifting you up in his arms and twirling you around, he always does this after winning a game and it always leaves you feeling dizzy

But you never complain bc who would complain about being hugged by Kou like that 🤧✋

However, as much as Bokuto loves how smol you are, he always kinda forgets that you’re short??

It’s because he’s always surrounded by tall people; his friends, the volleyball team, etc.

So he always forgets to adjust when he’s with you

And you know how some people just naturally walk really really fast, like they can’t help it, it’s just how they walk normally??

Yeah, that’s Bokuto

And this paired with the fact that he is literally 6’1 means he practically travels at light speed

Your tiny legs can barely keep up with your excitable boyfriend and you’re always practically jogging to keep up with him so if you take your eyes off of him for even just a few seconds he’ll probably run off somewhere and disappear 😔✋

This occurs so often when you two are out that you’re never shocked whenever it happens

It takes a few minutes before Bokuto realizes that he’s suddenly alone in a crowd and that you aren’t beside him like he thought you would be

AND IM SORRY BUT THE FIRST THING HE’LL DO IS JUST YELL OUT YOUR NAME REPEATEDLY AT FULL VOLUME WITH NO SHAME WHATSOEVER

“(Y/N)!! WHERE ARE YOU??”

Everyone around him would give him looks but he wouldn’t care, he just needs to find you fast or he’ll start panicking tho he lowkey already is

Some people would think that he’s looking for his kid but nah, he’s just looking for his smol s/o who would show up beside him after a while with a disgruntled look on their face

It never takes long for you two to reunite when you get separated, you just have to wait for the distinctive voice of your boyfriend yelling for you somewhere

When you two find each other, the first thing he’ll do is pull you into a tight hug, usually lifting you up from the ground as he presses a few kisses on your cheeks in relief

He’ll remember to walk slowly for the rest of the time you’re out, usually with his arm over your shoulder or with his hand tightly wrapped around your own

It made absolutely no sense to you that Bokuto literally grew up in the city yet has never visited the amusement park in the area before. You’ve visited the park countless times before but for your boyfriend, it was a first.

Bokuto was practically bouncing with excitement ever since you proposed the idea of visiting the amusement park together and it only got more intense as the day of your visit grew closer and closer.

You somewhat regretted not pushing your date to a later day in the week so that it didn’t fall on the weekend since the park was so packed but that feeling quickly dissipated when you glanced at your beaming boyfriend beside you.

What you did regret however was the fact that you didn’t wear more comfortable shoes, ones that were more fitting for exercise rather than leisurely walks since you were practically running around the park just to keep up with Bokuto.

His hand remained tightly clasped on your own as he sprinted all around the park, looking at all the rides, food stands, and gift shops around the place. He wasn’t really running, he was simply walking at a quick pace but this coupled with his long legs made it so difficult to match his pace with your significantly shorter ones.

You two had just gotten off a rather intense roller coaster and you felt your head spin from how dizzy it made you, you halted in your steps as Bokuto was about to begin running towards another ride making Bokuto stop as well as he was pulled back by your hand which was still holding onto his.

“Koutarou, let me rest for a bit,” You said as you sat on a bench in the shade, Bokuto immediately nodded and took a seat beside you, he handed you a bottle of water from his bag. “Sure babe, here drink this.”

After a few minutes of talking and resting under the shade, you stood up, reinvigorated, and filled with more energy. “Okay, let’s go, I’m feeling much better now,”

Bokuto immediately jumped onto his feet and beamed at you, more than ready for another round of rollercoasters and thrilling rides. He held out his hand for you to take and you two headed farther into the park.

“Let’s go on the Viking ride next—wait, hold on, let me fix this.” You let go of your boyfriend’s hand and began adjusting the overpriced headband on your head; Bokuto insisted on buying matching ones at the gift shop despite their ridiculous price (“Look, it’s just so adorable!”)

When you looked up, ready to grab ahold of his hand again, Bokuto was suddenly nowhere to be seen.

You whipped your head all around you but you couldn’t see the familiar head of hair of your boyfriend in the horde of people around you. You stood on your tiptoes, craning your head to get a better view but that didn’t do anything to help. You feel back on your feet and huffed; curse you and your short stature.

You walked down the direction you two were originally headed at, raking your eyes over the crowds of people you walked past when you suddenly heard a familiar voice yelling out your name from a distance. You whipped your head towards the direction of the voice and began to jog towards it.

Bokuto was standing on his tiptoes, his hands cupping his mouth as he called out for you over and over again, oblivious to the looks of shock from the people around him.

As he was about to scream out your name for the dozenth time, you suddenly pushed your way through the people around him and grabbed ahold of his arm, an exasperated yet also relieved look on your face.

Bokuto’s face immediately lit up, the small frown on his lips turning into a large smile as he wrapped his arms around you. He pressed you into his chest and lifted you off the ground as he usually does when he hugs you.

You giggled and flailed around as he did this, when he placed you back safely on the ground, he placed a small kiss on your forehead.

“Sorry for leaving you behind,” Bokuto said as he laced his fingers onto your own, “It won’t happen again,”

You scoffed playfully and let yourself be dragged along by him, “That’s what you said last time, Kou.”

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anne-i-write · 3 years

Text

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william james moriarty x reader #william moriarty x reader #louis james moriarty #louis moriarty #louis james moriarty x reader #louis moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #albert moriarty #albert james moriarty x reader #albert moriarty x reader #sebastian moran #sebastian moran x reader #fred porlock

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hxneekyuu · 3 years

Text

accidental kiss || tsukishima kei, ennoshita chikara, miya atsumu, lev haiba

request : Hey Can I request a headcanon or one shot with Haikyuu characters (any of your choices) having an accidental kiss with their crush, you know, the cliché romance scene in drama's where the girl fell and male catches her and end ups kissing, or something when the girl turn around not noticing the close distance between the male, and their lips touches. Anything that is accidental

warnings : miya atsumu, Suna Gets a Haircut

a/n : so i did one of those random hq generator things bc i could only decide on one boi and that was tsukki,,, the results made me laugh so here you go -- btw these are all gonna be pre-dating bc thats just wonderful we love that

tsukishima kei

this is definitely all tsukkis fault

you two are at your house just vibing and at some point you head into the kitchen to make food

and hes leaning against the counter right in front of the cabinet you need to get to

but he has the audacity not to move the fuck outta the way when you tell him you need to get past

so youre like ok fuck it and just reach around him to open it

but the bowl you need is pretty high up so youre like on your tippy toes tryna get the damn thing and hes just sitting there watching you struggle

instead of helping you like he isnt damn near 6′3″

but riiiiight as youve got the bowl, you end up grabbing it a little too forcefully and you bring like a million dishes down with it

so ofc even though he definitely deserves it, youre not trying to concuss the poor guy with literal ceramic dishes raining down on him

so you kinda lunge forward to stop them all from falling

and, hearing the crash of dishes over his head, he naturally ducks because he doesnt want to die

honestly,,,, its more of a crash of your noses and foreheads but theres such chaos of like,,, trying not to die??

that at some point you just feel his mouth on yours and it deadass just stays there while you both are figuring out what the hell is happening

eventually he kinda pulls back but only a little bc he knows youre struggling to hold onto the dishes and he doesnt wanna screw that up

and he doesnt even say anything he just reaches up awkwardly and helps you set the dishes back on the shelf

and then he grabs the bowl youd been trying the get the entire time and hands it to you with a completely blank face

its a very awkward dinner im not gonna lie

mostly bc at some point he just starts cracking jokes about it and refuses to acknowledge it seriously bc he sucks

ennoshita chikara

ennoshita’s taking a break from studying with the second years on the team

mostly bc he never gets any studying done with them

so youre studying together for a test at his house

and its just been many many hours of studying so ofc youre both exhausted

so its not surprising to him when you just pass out on your notes

but the thing is,,, your heads right on top of a sheet that he needs

and for a while he just kinda studies without it

he studies other stuff and tries to remember it on his own so he can fill in the gap in his notes

but eventually hes like fuck i really need these notes

so he just,,, tries to slide it out from under your head really carefully

and it involves a lot of him getting really close and trying to lift your head and a bunch of really soft cute things that would be super embarrassing for him to be caught doing

like,,, if you happened to wake up

which of course, you do

and youre really confused bc you can feel his breath fanning over your face and his eyes are really close but not focused on you, theyre focused on smth under your face

so you lift your head to see what hes doing

but he freaks out and moves his face when he notices youre awake

and its just a litto brush of your lips over his as your faces are passing each other

but the poor bub jumps back like you just shocked the crap out of him

and then he apologizes for like the next ten minutes and its impossible to get back to studying bc youre both just panicking internally

miya atsumu

this literally happens like it does in the movies

it all starts with a chase scene

that really you should never have been a part of

youre just minding your business walking down the hall after school on your way to get your stuff

and its pretty empty bc you had a club thing so its late afternoon and no ones around

and you just hear it

men screaming

and then he appears, barreling around the corner like his life depends on it

and youre like

this cant be good

and when he sees you hes yelling out for you like HELP ME

but you somehow always manage to get caught in the miya twin antics so youre like

fuck no im out

but apparently youre not out bc atsumus grabbing your arm and dragging you behind him yelling smth about scissors and a haircut

and when you look back you just see suna rounding the corner, half of his little triangle haircut chopped off so he looks like a sad half onigiri,,,

but you know it was atsumu and that this man is definitely dead when suna catches him

so youre like okay fuck it i guess im helping him AGAIN

and you get outside to a section of the school where theres still sports teams practicing and lots of people around so you hide in a corner together

but the Suna Energy is approaching so atsumu fuckin freaks and does that cheesy movie thing where he ducks his head down so he wont be seen

but theres like a group of guys passing by and one of them just bumps into atsumus back and that shit just sends him right into you

and all he can think is “oops”

he only has one brain cell give him a break

but he just stalls completely and forgets about the whole suna thing

but ofc his hair is fucking piss yellow and suna has not forgotten

he ends up totally getting his ass beat but after that little smooch atsumus definitely a bit keen to see you more often

lev haiba

i fucking love this gif look at the litto shoyou go

this tall babie does not know the meaning of personal space he has no functional understanding of a Bubble

honestly he probably gets dangerously close to kissing you on a regular basis, considering you’re seatmates in class

he’s just ALWAYS in your space

at first he’s probably shy bc he doesn’t know you

but once you become friends he’s like THIS IS NOT YOUR DESK THIS IS JUST MY SECOND DESK

so every day there’s always one thing that’s super dangerous

last week it was him looking over your shoulder while you did work silently

yesterday it was him reaching across you to open the window on your left side

today he just really wants a bite of the bread you bought and are currently already eating

and when he wants smth, he gets Very Whiny

he’s so clingy and adorable that you can’t ever get mad

he’s like a little puppy how can you resist him

so when you’re finally like okay fine you can have a bite he’s like

MONCH

he doesn’t even wait for you to tear off a piece he just leans in for a bite

but you had said yes while in the middle of biting it so he essentially does that thing where you’re both biting it at the same time

but, again, he doesn’t know what personal space means

so he also doesn’t have the ability to gauge distances well

so he straight up just meets you halfway and presses his mouth to yours while he’s biting down

the boi probably doesn’t even notice

he just pulls back quickly once he has his bite and goes about his life

you literally are going to have to tell him he just kissed you

and after that he’s a total fucking mess

he doesn’t know what to do he never knows what to do

he’s just going to keep causing Chaos while he panics

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #ennoshita chikara #ennoshita x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #lev haiba #lev x reader #haikyuu headcanons

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warmau · 3 years

Text

"congratulations and welcome to the team!"

the overly peppy voice that comes out of the body of the middle-aged man somehow doesn't match the soulless look in his eyes

he hands you a whistle and a t-shirt, which when you unfold greets you with the name of the water park you've been cursed to work at all summer

the font is big and bubbly and very, very, very yellow - it's almost nauseating

you turn the shirt around and on the back, in that same childish font, is the word staff

"jungwoo, glad to see you here again!"

you turn your head to see the man, who is your shift manager, patting a rather thin and tall looking boy on the back

he makes a gagging noise which the manager just laughs heartily at before dropping the same shirt and whistle in jungwoo's palm

"hey wait - which ride am i on this year?"

"um let me see - you're on ........ ah, the log flume with the new employee."

you motion to yourself because it seems like you're the only new face at the orientation

everyone else has cliqued up and is already mumbling about how much this is going to suck with each other

jungwoo slinks over and throws the shirt over his shoulder

"log flume kinda sucks, just so you know."

"really? i can't imagine getting sprayed by residual dirty water isn't a thrilling experience - especially when it happens a hundred times a day."

there's a pause and then a large grin forms of jungwoo's features

"oh - i like you."

you affirm the notion with a little bit of a prideful shrug and smile yourself

good, i think i like you too.

of course - when you and jungwoo first exchange these sentiments, it's nothing more than an employee-to-employee relationship

jungwoo has a sense of humor that either tends to fly over peoples heads or offend them (sometimes both)

but you catch on quickly and sometimes even beat him in a game of his own wits

during an opening shift where you two are testing the ride and cleaning up the waiting area, jungwoo confides that when he was in middle school someone had pointed out that he's "eccentric"

you scrunch your nose up as you tie a knot around the garbage bag in your hand

"eccentric is a polite way of saying fucking weird, you know that right jungwoo?"

"do you think im 'fucking weird' then?"

he does a pose and you shake your head with a little laugh

"no i think you're just....you."

he relaxes his limbs and tilts his head to the side, without a verbal answer you somehow sense that that was the one thing jungwoo really wanted to hear

working the log flume though - is as hellish as expected

most of your days are spent standing in those hot, cheap plastic ponchos and waving at families with screaming children or rowdy teenagers who barely fit in the ride with their bony knees

despite your efforts to keep dry, you and jungwoo always end up soaked

he's forgetful and clumsy so half the time you have to share the towel you bring with him, not to mention your lunch gets gobbled up by him too

you ask at some point why jungwoo just doesn't bring his own stuff - you are not a one-stop 7/11 shop

he laughs and takes a bite into the huge soft pretzel sold in the water park

"why should i bring anything, you've always got everything we need!"

a pang like the toll of a bell vibrates through the cavity of your chest

we - what about "we", there's no "we", there's just......."friends"

a sour taste in your mouth accompanies the thought and so you push it to the back of your mind

"still - at least start bringing your own change of clothes, you're too tall for any of my shirts."

"crop-tops are in though!"

you stare down at the switchboard that operates the log flume - the buttons with scraping labels, the emergency stop button, the little cubbies below where people leave their phones

the park is closing in thirty minutes and jungwoo has scampered off to hand in your ticket collection to the manager

the summer evening is hovering between the last beams of light and suddenly - alone at the top of the ride - something shifts

you unfile the thought you had before, the idea of what 'we' means to you and jungwoo

and you come to a daunting realization that, after only a couple of weeks of laughter and grueling minimum wage work, the statement "i think i like you too" is starting to take a new shape in your heart

"hey - did you drown up there?"

you lean over the side and see jungwoo below waving

even with the distance the essence of his warm shine floats up and tickles at your cheeks.

you swat it away, but it doesn't work.

"no - the log flume ghost caught me, i can't come down."

you joke back and he salutes

"wait there, i will come save you - i have fought that ghost once before!"

he's joking, but something flutters its wings when you hear him rush up the steps with all the seriousness of coming to get you. to save you.

when he reaches you - you mask the weird flush climbing up your spine - and pretend to be flailing

jungwoo gives you a kindergarten laugh as he joins in on the fun - a fake punch to the face of a fake ghost

he grabs you around the waist and tugs you toward him, and inches from his face, you see something behind the childish glint in the brown of his eyes.

he's so handsome.

"saved you! let's get out of here or the manager will accuse us of trying to sneak in overtime."

the weight of his hands on you is only described as comforting, easy. so very easy.

so even when he lets go and you are trailing behind him and the rest of the park employees after closing you miss it, you miss the touch of a friend who is becoming a lot more than just that.

"jungwoo's being switched to the lazy river starting today, that place is such a cease pool of idiocy that i need more coverage on it."

a groan escapes jungwoo before you can even process what the manager is saying

"what? but i hate that place most of all - do you know how many random dads get into fights on that thing?"

"am i going to be on log flume alone?"

your voice is way calmer than you expect it to be and the manager makes a passive motion with his hand, "yep - and i trust you'll handle it fine."

jungwoo's look is apologetic and slightly bitter, you reach out to give him a pat on the shoulder, but your palm hovers above the fabric of his shirt before pulling embarrassingly back to your side

either he doesn't notice or he chooses not to say anything because jungwoo turns and trudges over to the other three people assigned to the river

without jungwoo, the weird gnawing feeling of a summer crush only gets stronger, because now that he's not glued to your side

you miss him so terribly it almost makes you feel sick

coupled with the boredom of being alone the entire day with strangers seems to just worsen the symptoms

a week into the switch, you make the choice to visit jungwoo on your lunch break

you arrive just in time to see the aftermath of one of those dad fights he had mentioned

jungwoo is waist-deep in the water with two of those inflatable tubes on either side. he looks like he's negotiating a war truce between two disgruntled generals and he hands the tubes back as the men disperse to their respective families with scowls on their faces

jungwoo is also not wearing a shirt

"lazy river is much more hands-on then log flume"

the line of his back is lean and there are some healing bruises under his ribs which you can only assume are from his rather clumsy nature, the other thought of what could have caused them makes your head spin

"hey - i see you're literally in the trenches"

jungwoo turns and runs a hand through his wet bangs to get a better look at you. the action shouldn't make your knees feel like jelly.

"i hate this place, come over here and dunk my head underwater please."

you squat down near the edge and jungwoo wades closer to you

you place a brown paper bag beside you and motion to it

"im assuming you still aren't bringing your own lunches and are surviving off scraps from everyone else?"

he grins, "you know me so well"

i know i do - you think to say, but keep the words in your throat - i know i do, which is weird because we've been friends for a little over a month.

"hows log flume?"

"boring without you."

jungwoo whistles and you catch the way the sun makes every little drop of water on him glisten

"ill stop by on my break since you stopped by on yours"

a second of comfortable silence passes and jungwoo jumps up and out of the river with an ease

he grabs the lunch you've brought and is about to say something when a whistle from the other side of the river catches your attentions

"ugh this place is supposed to be lazy."

he complains and before he turns to the direction of the sound, he touches your cheek with the slightly wet palm of his hand

"thanks for lunch, see you later."

the gesture haunts you.

you even ask someone in the line for log flume what it means and she gives you a side glare that can only be conjured by a specific breed of mom.

you try to google it, but nearly drop your phone into the water.

jungwoo doesn't come by that day - he actually only manages to visit you the next day.

he shows up in his trunks, no shirt, and the towel he never gave back to you after he borrowed it over his shoulder

"sorry, do you know how many kids get food poisoning and decide the riv-"

you put up a hand to stop him from divulging details and jungwoo leans against the post that controls the ride as you wave off the next bunch of people

you feel him watch you before he joins you and helps start lowering the bar for the next log that splashes its way into the starting point

as you two go through the rows with practiced repetition

you meet in the middle

your hands both reach out to touch the bar, bringing it down over the laps of two young-looking middle schoolers who are pretending not to be holding hands

one of them giggles as you and jungwoo's fingers brush

the slight pass of skin on skin feels like a burst of electricity

stepping back to wave the group off - jungwoo slips in beside you and asks with a kind of strained sarcasm

"who takes their date on the log flume?"

"i think it's cute."

jungwoo doesn't miss a beat and that's what nearly knocks you backwards

"wanna go with me on our day off?"

jungwoo asks you on a date.

that you're sure off. but why - that's the part that does not click for you.

so is it a friend thing - are the 'we' on this 'date' just two friends running around the water park they work at with the freedom of having to not do their jobs? are the 'we' on this 'date' something completely different?

the nervousness makes you jump when jungwoo meets up with you at the bust stop and he doesn't look or feel any different than usual

you start to accept that your first thought is correct - this is a platonic date - nothing more

until you get to the waterpark and put your things away and jungwoo pulls a small container from his bag

"what's that?"

"you're always taking care of me, i want to take care of you for once too."

he opens it and inside are some lopsided looking cookies

"did you- jungwoo did you bake this?"

he poke his tongue out, but nods

"well, a friend who is a better cook than me helped."

they taste better than you could have imagined, you take a bite and understand that no something is definitely

different

friends don't hold their other friends hand the entire day

friends don't lean into their other friends shoulder while waiting in the line for one of the rides and then biting softly down on the skin, kissing it after like an apologetic kitten

and friends don't kiss their other friends in the dark, shady corner where a line of vending machines have been abandoned behind the pretzel stand

the infamous makeout spot that every water park employee buzzes about

when your date comes to an end and you and jungwoo are waiting for the bus back, you keep touching your lips.

jungwoo tastes like citrus when he kisses

there are some things i don't know about him

you smile to yourself when his pinkie brushes yours and hooks up with it as the bus approaches

i can't wait to learn all of them

it takes the manager exactly forty-eight hours to figure out you and jungwoo are dating.

everyone else in the park gets the memo the minute you two step into the staff room.

there's a little pushback against it, just because there is some stupid company policy, but the manager claps you both on your backs and whispers that whatever - it is summer - kids should have fun during the summer.

maybe the fun means sneaking kisses on lunch breaks, visiting each other on your off days, swapping shifts so you two can arrive and leave together

the fun of having jungwoo nuzzle his wet face into the back of your neck as he complains about work

the fun of having you trace patterns on his arm as you two wait for the bus home

the fun of seeing each other outside of work, sprawling across his bedroom floor and talking about nonsense

the fun of jungwoo's features shifting from languid and sleepy to acute as you shift your weight ontop of him and let your hands flirt with the hem of his shirt

"cover those up jungwoo, we are a family-friendly establishment"

the manager mumbles, motioning to jungwoo's neck with his pen

you thin your lips and jungwoo huffs, slapping a bandage or two on the slightly puffed skin

when the days get a little colder and the droves of families dwindle slowly, you know that your summer job is coming to an end

on your last days, you have back your uniforms and whistles and the manager makes a speech about how much good work has been done and how he's holding back his tears, but he's sure he'll see you next year

jungwoo mutters that you two can't come back here next year - you two should look into summer jobs at the mall or something

your last walk from the park gates to the bus stop home is calm, even a little chilly. jungwoo drapes a hand around your shoulder and pulls you into him for the warmth.

"we never got to go on the log flume together"

you suddenly muse and jungwoo coaxes his mouth into a frown

"you really want to go together on that contraption? it's not even fun."

"it's sentimental to us."

"that's a weird thing to say."

he looks at you and you poke his cheek

"it's an eccentric thing to say."

a number of summers pass until you and jungwoo ever follow up on the notion

actually, the one summer you two end up sitting together on the log flume, is not even at the water park from your memories

it's somewhere abroad

you're on vacation together and jungwoo claims you dragged him onto this thing

but you see the little smile he tries to hide when the bar comes down

the two teenagers working the ride brush their fingers as they do so, catching the look of shyness that passes from one to the other you giggle and take jungwoo's hand in your own

"what's funny?"

he asks and you tell him oh, nothing.

the ride starts and just as the log reaches the end of the dip - you let out a small shout of excitement

jungwoo joins you, but he doesn't just make a sound. he says something.

"i love you!"

oh, i think i like you too - the sweet taste comes back.

"i thin- i know i love you too!"

#shoutout to ONF - Sukhumvit Swimming #nct scenarios #jungwoo scenarios #nct au #jungwoo au #nct imagines #jungwoo imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 au #jungwoo #nct #nostalgia!au #sfw #water/

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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years

Text

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.

#time is empty and thoughts are yes #long post #endermen #minecraft enderman #minecraft #minecraft lore #lore #tw video game death #not really sure if i need to put that since a lot of stuff in minecraft is killing stuff but might as well stay on the safe side with it #god this might be even longer than my other post #at least i formatted it this time #sorta #this post went from endermen make me feel weird to oOoOo psychology at 3 am with no proof real quick #and gonna be honest thats not at all what i had planned but its okay

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