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#THAT WAS SO FUNNY NGL 🤣
yourfavepookiebear · 3 months
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HELP ??? LMFAOOO
I WAS WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK AND THIS RANDOM DRIVER PASSING BY SLOWED DOWN HIS CAR AND STARTED FLIRTING WITH ME WHILE IN THE CAR
And he fucking followed me for a good 200 meters or so even after I ignored him ?? WTF LMFAO BRO WAS DESPERATE 😭😭
I feel bad for him bc honestly that was so fucking pathetic 😔
14 notes · View notes
marciliedonato · 11 months
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Submarines are the new guillotine 😩💅 modern problems require modern solutions... Happy pride!! We eatin the rich <3 hope u were hungry 💞💞
32 notes · View notes
fabioquartararhoe · 1 year
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darling-leech · 2 years
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I have had this mod ever since I started playing Skyrim back in like 2014 and one of my favorite things about the Levelers Tower mod is the fact that there's a character in the library section of it named Warlos:
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4 notes · View notes
mommalosthermind · 2 years
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Eldest kid’s latest hobby is to lurk somewhere nearby with a frankly terrifying expression of barely suppressed mania. They’ll literally just hover and make huge eyes at me until I turn to stare back, and the absolute second I make eye contact they tell me some variation of ‘I have come up with a bonkers idea for a new wip,’ which is always hysterical, and also means the next half hour or so is going to be dedicated to things like, ‘what if Thorin and Fili and Kili had a show like Ghost Files,’ or ‘I’ve decided I’m still killing James Potter in the time travel fix it thing because that one YouTube video you showed me proves that James is a jerk so now I need to figure out what kind of animagus would snape be,’ or my personal favorite so far, ‘pfft I don’t FINISH things, I just Come Up With Things and then write like ten pages until I find a new thing—‘
Which is all an unnecessary build up to explain that I was in the middle of ranting about how sometimes I cannot brain and the words will not go so I stare into space angrily to vividly hallucinate instead
Only for my middle kid to pop up out of fucking no where to snort at me and tell me that is not a problem he has ever had, that he has almost 10k written in his story and it’s just like, so easy mom, you just write words down, c’mon— and then vanish again
Rude
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theroguedragons · 7 months
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(guard): sender is made receiver’s guard and they have to travel/spend time together. - Dorren to Daena
Royal fantasy romance and spice from here @sovlbound
Daena wasn’t used to form alliances. All her life she grew up far away from Westeros without even having a clue where she really came from or who she was or which role she would play in a war that wasn’t hers. Finding family sounded like a beautiful concept, but sometimes it felt like she was just another piece on a chess board thrown in because of her heritage and women were so easily married just to gain what men really wanted: power. It wasn’t her idea to visit the Mormonts, but her brothers assured her that she would be welcomed warmly and at least they didn’t lie in that. Dorren was more than kind to show her around. Unusual for a man of his stand as far as she had experienced it, but there was more laying behind the surface than just a kind facade and his eyes definitely revealed that.
“Lord Mormont…” she started to murmur while she tried her best to keep her hands in front of her body during their walk now that she didn’t have a sword to hold onto anymore since she was supposed to fit into the role her name brought her. “…I appreciate that you show me around and your home is beautiful. I just…” Her feet stopped and for a moment she hesitated to speak up, but then her chin lifted to look at him with a tilted head, the sass of her older brother Daemon shining through in these moments. “…I wonder if this is just a kind gesture or if house Mormont always had been a loyal supporter of house Targaryen.” Was it even appropriate for her to ask that? Probably not, but Daena still didn’t know how these forms of political plotting really worked especially when she was supposed to subdue herself as a woman but was meant to influence something like a war at the same time.
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With a scoff she shook her head and stopped fiddling with her hands to throw them in the air instead, eyes helplessly looking into another direction than him. “Forgive me, my lord. I am probably not very… good in this. Forget what I said.” Without realizing it a cussed “fuck” escaped her lips, revealing the way she was probably overwhelmed with the whole situation and helplessly searching for another distraction. “Well… how long are you living here already, lord Mormont? And have you been to other places before?”
0 notes
ham1lton · 1 month
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nepo sister?
pairing: lando norris x fellow driver’s sister!reader (no faceclaim).
summary: your sister is one of the most famous f1 drivers in history and when she suddenly has a barrage of hate and online users comparing her to a certain lando norris, you’ve gotta step in and sort it out. you couldn’t foresee the man in question being into you.
warnings: jokes about adoption but it’s lighthearted. also mentions of racism and sexism. also y/n bullying poor lando in defence of her sister.
author’s note: as i do with requests, i put my own little spin on it! hope u enjoy 💕also i used aaliyah as your sister’s faceclaim but she’s your adopted sister so y/n is still pretty much whoever you view her to be. i refer to yn’s older sis as o/s. in case you were wondering who tf that is. reminder that requests are currently still open!
edit: now part of a series ! <3
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liked by oldersister, yourbffsuser and 20,873 others.
yourusername: why is my sister so dramatic? she picked me up from the airport in a FUR jacket in a LIMO? also this cat is evil. genuinely evil. cat satan. catan?
oldersister: i was at an EVENT! 😭 you’re lucky i even picked your ass up anyways 🙄🖕🏾.
-> user1: their dynamic is so funny.
user2: y/n in melbourne for the grand prix??? 😍
user4: o/s looks sooo good 😍😍😍
user3: the cat is so cute 🥺
-> yourusername: no need to lie bae ❤️
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liked by zendaya, oldersister and 627,982 others.
yourusername: my sister before, during and after the race. plus our dad!! he’s new to this ig shit so be nice or i’ll bulldoze your grandma. let me start by just say something… my sister is one of the best drivers in the world. i see a lot of people cussing her out and all i’m gonna say is don’t pmo. she’s my sister but even besides that, her multiple historic accolades speak for themselves. quit playing with your misogynistic and racist shit before i drag your whole lineage.
oldersister: stop being so aggressive 🙄 but thank you. love you.
-> yourusername: posted this to cover the fact i spent $82 on fast food using your card 😘
-> oldersister: that’s it? that’s not the worst you’ve done tbf.
hater1: be real. lando is better than o/s in every shape and form. it’s just a fact.
-> yourusername: so why is o/s a two-time world champion and lando isn’t?
user1: SPEAK ON IT!!! 🗣️🔈
hater2: o/s is overrated.
-> yourusername: snore. ass take. come up with something original and not completely false.
user2: y/n said might i suggest you don’t fuck with my sis!!!
-> user6: she’s in her solange era 😭
user3: is this because someone said y/n was worse than lando?
-> yourusername: like 🤣 don’t ever compare the two. o/s is a world champion and lando is… lando.
-> landonorris: NO CAUSE WHY AM I IN THIS???? 😭
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liked by charles_leclerc, tomholland and 283,928 others
landonorris: just woke up to my name trending on twitter. what you say fuck me for 😭😭 stop using my name to drag my fellow drivers i’m begging you.
user1: no cause if anything these haters are lando antis and not o/s antis. they set your ass up omgggg. pure insane hate.
user2: fighting for my life defending you.
user3: the three diff angles of the same george crying vid is crazy work ngl.
-> georgerussell63: no cause HE got dragged and now he’s setting ME up.
-> user3: dw king. find solace in that he either searched google purely for this photo or had them saved onto his phone. haters nowadays are fans in denial.
-> landonorris: nah i’m just a hater.
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liked by landonorris, oldersister and 726,733 others.
yourusername: i met lando nowins. i guess he’s cool.
oldersister: now that’s just not right.
-> landonorris: i know!! after the four hour long convo y/n and i had, she still drags me 😔💔.
-> oldersister: i wasn’t talking about that. i’m talking about the picture she chose for me. why did she use that photo after catching me off guard??? and if you know y/n, get ready for the bullying. she does it to all her loved ones.
user2: HELPJSJSJAKA
user3: this is the content i follow you for y/n.
*liked by yourusername.*
1K notes · View notes
bbyjackie · 10 months
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𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡
one piece social media + dating feat: killer
》 you guys im so sorry it took so long for me to post this,, ive been so busy
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♡ liked by killerrr, theroronoa.zoro and 5.8k others
_ynln: my man is so fine, almost had to gatekeep this photo 😣😣
tagged: killerrr
CAPTAIN.KIIIID: STOP SENDING THIS PHOTO IN OUR GC WE GET IT
↳ _ynln: ill stay bragging about my hot asf boyfie 😮‍💨😮‍💨🤞🤞
CAPTAIN.KIIIID: OUR man ☝️
↳ _ynln: KID GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS OMFG
↳ wirewirewire: competition for killer is mad 😭😭
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: it's not a competition, i'm winning 🔥🔥
↳ _ynln: im reporting ur acc
theroronoa.zoro: @killerrr YOO lets hit up the gym sometime together
↳ killerrr: for sure bro
↳ hey_its_heat: at this rate, yn is fighting off the whole world hitting up killer 💀
↳ _ynln: STOPP FRR,, its fine im his no.1️⃣
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: the delusion is crazy 🥱🥱
↳ wirewirewire: ^
↳ hey_its_heat: ^
↳ _ynln: @killerrr address these allegations!!
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♡ liked by nicorobin, _ynln and 2.5k others
killerrr: my no.1️⃣ (addressing the allegations)
my girl is so fine, almost had to gatekeep these photos ❤️
tagged: _ynln
_ynln: stop this rn or else im gonna have to kiss u 😣🫵
↳ _ynln: killer i love you <3 (liked by killerrr)
↳ killerrr: do it
↳ _ynln: AHHHGGHHH SCREAMING CRYING ‼️‼️
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: keep this sappy shit OFF my timeline
↳ _ynln: mad u stay single 🥱
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: okay little miss delusional 🤣
↳ _ynln: okay little miss(ing) one arm 🤣
↳ wirewirewire: NO FUCKING WAYBVDWUHIUB 💀
↳ hey_its_heat: that clapback was insane 😭😭
CAPTAIN.KIIIID: pls put a trigger warning on this!
↳ _ynln: piss off
hawkinsthemagician444: The cards are telling me your girl is fine.
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: wtaf that was some jeepers creepers shit (liked by _ynln)
↳ killerrr: fuck off (liked by CAPTAIN.KIIIID)
nicorobin: you look gorgeous @_ynln!
↳ _ynln: ROBIN OMMGGG UR MAKING ME KICK MY FEET AND TWIRL MY HAIR EEEE (liked by nicorobin)
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♡ liked by trafalgar_d.law, p1rateking_luffy and 6.1k others
CAPTAIN.KIIIID: betting 100,000 berries that she doesn't notice till she sees this post 🔥
tagged: killerrr
trafalgar_d.law: you guys are an actual menace
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: WATCH YOUR BACK, YOU'RE NEXT TRAFALGAR
_ynln: WTAF I TRY TO MAKE PASTA FOR U GUYS AND THIS IS WHAT I GET??
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: skill issue 😪😪
↳ _ynln: KILLER WTAF I THOUGHT U WERE PATTING ME ON THE BACK CAUSE I WAS DOING WELL
↳ killerrr: i love u but ngl it was funny asf
↳ _ynln: 😐😐
p1rateking_luffy: LOOKS SO GOOD @blackleg.sanji MAKE THIS TODAY IM HUNGRY 😋😋 (liked by _ynln)
lovenami: win rate 100% (liked by CAPTAIN.KIIIID)
↳ lovenami: @_ynln lets hang out more!
↳ _ynln: NO WAY YOU'RE EXPLOITING ME NAMI 🤨🤨
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♡ liked by killerrr, CAPTAIN.KIIIID and 27 others
priv.ynn: i love u so much, happy one year kill <3
killerrr: i love you too my love ❤️❤️
↳ _ynln: stop ur making me blush IQUFWJGVIVWFOF
CAPTAIN.KIIIID: bro yn u looking hella goof in the second photo
↳ priv.ynn: clown ahhh
↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: goofy ahhh
↳ killerrr: stop arguing all the time ahhh
CAPTAIN.KIIIID: yall better get married or else i suffered for a whole year for NOTHING (liked by killerrr)
lovenami: CUTEST COUPLE!!!!!!!!! (liked by priv.ynn, killerrr)
2K notes · View notes
luckylzclerc · 1 year
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Hello!! I saw that your request was open so I wanted to request an instagram au where Charles gf who is a model gets caught wearing Charles clothes and accessories which some eagle eyed fans recognise and piece it together that you're dating. Thanks💗
unexpected | cl16 x model!reader
notes: hii tysm for requesting!! my first ever request so its a lil bad :((🤍 hope u liked it, this is my first time writing abt charles whoao😵‍💫 anyways ENJOYY🤭🩷
twitter!!
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yourusername
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liked by francisca.cgomes , charles_leclerc , pierregasly and 870,563 others
yourusername thanks @.nba for having me! and THANK U @francisca.cgomes for ditching me for ur bf 🫤🫤 couldn't have asked for a better partner 🤞 (jokes aside ily!!)
tagged : francisca.cgomes , nba
view all 790,612 comments •
francisca.cgomes LIAR!!! I only left you for a while to ask pierre about the game 👎👎
yourusername sureeeee
charles_leclerc I thought you enjoyed my company while she was gone??
yourusername i lied
liked by pierregasly
hotbot.1010 i want their friendship so bad.
333ella_ real😔🫂
beachgirlguide so real!! they're adorbs
charles.wdcwhen LMAOO CHARLES COMMENT AND PIERRE LIKING IT😭 FOUL
..
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly , yourusername , lewishamilton and 512,720 others
charles_leclerc Let's just say I better stick to driving. Had a great time though @.nba 🏀
view all 401,628 comments •
lewishamilton Let's play
pierregasly La garde rapprochée ⚔️😂
yourusername u suck lol 😵‍💫
charles_leclerc why are u hating?? i did nothing
yourusername ok
charles_leclerc ???
henah1._f1 never thought I'd see the day y/n and charles interact ngl
ayrt0nsenz forreal and im loving EVERY second of it soo whos complaining (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)
..
a few months passed!
yourusername added to their story!
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seen by charles_leclerc , francisca.cgomes and many other
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc , pierregasly and francisca.cgomes and 729,271 others
yourusername happy birthday to ME! and my birthday twin @.pierregasly !!! had such a great time w u guys 😘🥰 Thank you so much for coming guys🫶🏻
📸 @.landonorris
tagged : francisca.cgomes , charles_leclerc , landonorris , danielricciardo ..see more
view all 621,920 comments •
landonorris I should get paid for this y/n!!
landonorris happy birthday though 🤣❤️
yourusername grazie lando 🤣🤭
francisca.cgomes HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👭👭🩷🩷
pierregasly are you talking to me?
fransisca.gomes no, i was obviously talking about y/n
yourusername graziee kika🫶🏻🫶🏻 my loml😘
pierregasly happy birthday to my birthday twin!! 🥳🥳🥳
yourusername GRAZIE!! happy birthday to you too mr.tripod 😂😂🥳🎂
charles_leclerc tanti auguriiii y/n 😘 hope u enjoyed your birthday day!! wishing u all the best and thank u for the invitation🥳
yourusername grazieee charles🙏🙏 thank u for the birthday gifts i love them all🥰🤍
emmy.lovesfashion GIFTS?? PLURAL?? gah damn im jealous 😀😭
twitter!
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yourusername
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liked by lilymhe , francisca.cgomes , pierregasly and 821,620 others
yourusername summer in paris 🫶🏻🫶🏻
view all 271,920 comments •
estabanocon You should visit Elena and I soon!!
itselenaberri Yes!! A cute double date😘
yourusername would totally love to!!
jjynri are we missing smth???? HUH?????
fwphoe check twitter babes
charles_leclerc bwoahh
lclrvslvrss hes so real for this
yourusername 🥰🙏 missing u !!
francisca.cgomes MY GIRLFRIEND RIGHT HERE
pierregasly kika????
yourusername ily😘😘😘😘
pierregasly ooh merci y/n
yourusername huh?? it was for kika.. 🥰🥰🥰 love u kika
liked by francisca.cgomes
lando.norisssie88 LMAOOO THIS IS SO FUNNY I CAN'T-
sainzlovebot 😭😭😭
..
summer break! (ending)
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc , arthur_leclerc , f1 and 937,920 others
yourusername what a weekend⭐🏎️💨
tagged : franciaca.cgomes , luisinhaoliveira99 , charles_leclerc , f1
view all 811,901 comments •
charles_leclerc cute shirt and cute girl😂❤️
f1.loverr7 😦 are u saying that delulu sia bitch on twitter might be correct??
sialovestheseaa I MIGHT.
luisinhaoliveira99 lovely meeting you y/n🫶🏻
yourusername miss youuu
-end-
notes : IM SO SORRY IT HAD TO END LIKE THIS. tumblr only allow 10 pics max on one post and i guess i went a little overboard 😭.. but don't you guys worry! part 2 is posted and you can read it hereee 👇
part 2 !! | unexpected ii
1K notes · View notes
leclercsainzz · 8 months
Note
hello love:)
i absolutely love your social media au stories! <33 i was wondering if you could please do a lando norris one with the song “bad idea” by olivia
BAD IDEA, RIGHT?
PAIRINGS: lando norris x ex fem!reader
TYPE: social media au
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe and 610,720 others
yourusername: camera crumbs ✨
view 6,164 comments
user: the prettiest
user: she’s literally glowing!! 😍
user: those two shirts are a MUST
oscarpiastri: my mom says i’m cool too 🤪
↳ yourusername: 😎😎😎
isahernaez: HOT
↳ yourusername: that’s youuu 😘
↳ user: carlando exes >>>
landonorris: orange still looks good on you 😉
comment has been deleted
user: missing my favorite wag hours 😔
user: body goals 😩
user: waiting for the *liked by landonorris*
charlottesiine: the prettiest 😍
↳ yourusername: right back at you;) 😘
user: did you love making lando cry? 🤣
↳ user: i was sooo confused by your comment until i saw her shirt on the last post lmao
user: gorgg 😍
user: orange??!? for lando?!?? 👀
↳ user: they broke up, get over it!
user: your smile is the prettiest smile ever, i swear 😍😍😍
user: so pretty wtf 😩
user: missing you in the paddock, queen 😭😭
user: idc what anyone says she’s ✨GLOWING✨
↳ user: she’s always been gorgeous but the post break up is hitting different lately!!!
user: missing my fav girl 😩😩😩
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 602,818 others
yourusername: 🍃
view 5,047 comments
user: there it is, “liked by landonorris”
user: not lando liking this post 😭
↳ user: my man is still down bad, idcc
user: STUNNING 😍
user: my eyes have been blessed, omg 😍
user: i’m not imaging lando liking this right?!?!?
lilymhe: you’re so photogenic, i can’t
lilymhe: hOT 😮‍💨
↳ yourusername: 😘😘😘
user: soMEONE CHECK ON LaNDO!!
↳ user: ya’ll try to make a big deal out of everything, i swear! can’t exes be friends?!? smh
user: *liked by landonorris* ngl that took me out 💀
↳ user: he’s reappearing after a whole month lmaoo
↳ user: he’s desperate 😭😭😭
user: omg, you’re truly soo stunning!! 😩😩
alexandrasaintmleux: 😍😍😍😍
↳ yourusername: ❤️❤️
user: pretty girl!!
user: lando liked now we’re waiting for a comment 🤣
oscarpiastri: answer my text NOW!!
↳ user: please, this is soo funny 😭
imessage
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yourusername
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liked by francisca.cgomes, oscarpiastri and 617,936 others
yourusername: i know i should stop, but i can’t 🤷🏻‍♀️
view 8,947 comments
user: stop what, queen?!???
↳ yourusername: posting pics, babe
↳ user: nOOO!! I LIVE FOR yOUr POsTS
user: 😍😍
oscarpiastri: i don’t like that caption 🤔
↳ yourusername: meaning??
↳ oscarpiastri: noo comment …
user: SLAYYYYY 😍😍😍
carlossainz55: that caption is insinuating something, isn’t it?
comment has been deleted
user: her outfits are always 😍
user: did anyone else see carlos comment?!??
↳ user: wHAT COMMENT?!?? WHERE?!!?
↳ user: he deleted it 😭😭 but it said, “that caption is insinuating something, isn’t it?”
↳ user: wtf does that even mean?!!??!?
↳ user: lando, maybe?!?? idk 😭😭😭 it might not even mean anything, i’m just delusional lmao
↳ user: if it didn’t mean anything, why delete it tho?!??
user: idk about ya’ll but carlos deleting his comment seems sus??? like what does he know?!??
user: mother is slayin’ 😌
user: i wish i had her style
user: everyone’s freaking out overs carlos deleted comment but what about oscar’s comment?!?? what did he mean by “i don’t like the caption” and the “no comment” comment?!???
↳ user: i’m tELLING YA’lL, thEre’s something they know thaT WE DON’T!! 😩
user: yn and lando are definitely fucking around, i just know it! that’s the whole reason for carlos and oscar’s comment, there’s no other explanation
↳ user: ya’ll are so delusional 😭💀💀 LMAOO
user: she literally responded to a comment saying, “posting pics, babe” when asked about the caption, hello??? ya’ll just love to insinuate things
imessage
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landonorris
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liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri and 784,629 others
landonorris: carlando podium!! 🏆 🏆 thanks @mclaren
view 7,520 comments
user: mY CARLANDO HEART!! ❤️🧡
oscarpiastri: 👏🏼
mclaren: YESSSSSSSSSIRRRRRRRRRRR
user: THE LAST POST?!! I REPEAT, THE LAST POST?!!? WHO IS THAT?!!? IS IT YN?!!?!
user: don’t let carlando distract you from that last post
carlossainz55: ❤️
user: smoooooooth operatorrrrrr
maxfewtrell: 🤩🤩🤩
user: is that yn?!?? someone please confirm 😭😭😭
↳ user: i don’t think so, they don’t even follow each other
user: you’re telling me my man is seeing someone?!? and it might not be yn?!!?
user: it’s literally carlos in a wig, ya’ll
↳ user: i thought it might’ve been oscar tbh
user: patiently waiting for the *liked by yourusername*
↳ user: im waiting for her to comment
user: CARLANDO?!! AND YNLANDO?!!? SIGN ME TF UP
↳ user: it’s not even yn
user: p1 & p2 baby!!! ❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️🧡 #carlando
user: that ain’t yn, ya’ll! we gotta accept that they broke up and move on, as much as it hurts 😭
↳ user: nah, that’s definitely yn!
user: i don’t think it’s yn tbh
↳ user: then who could it be?!?
team_quadrant: 🍾 SMOOTH
user: lANDO WE NEED ANSWERS!!! WHO IS THAT?!??
imessage
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 620,184 others
yourusername: bad idea, right? ohh well 🤷🏻‍♀️
tagged: @landonorris
view 7,520 comments
user: nahhh 💀 this has to be a joke or sum
user: yn, babe, this is definitely a bad idea 😭
user: OMG OMG!! PARENTS ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! 🤩
user: scReaming, wtfnalalslfsma
user: not lando reclaiming my wife 🙄
oscarpiastri: “we won’t catch feelings”
↳ yourusername: oops? hehehe 🫢
user: i kNEW IT!! i CALLEd IT
user: THE WOrLD HAS HEALED!!
maxfewtrell: 😏
landonorris: hey, you 😍😍😍
landonorris: see you tonight? 😘
↳ yourusername: you got it;)
user: nahhh 😭😭😭😭 yn you’re better than this
↳ yourusername: sorry, bestie 🤷🏻‍♀️ i couldn’t help it
carlossainz55: dios mío
translation: my god
alex_albon: oh my god, no way 😳😳 who would have thought???!??
↳ yourusername: we get it, you know things 🙄
georgerussell63: guess i owe you @maxverstappen1
↳ maxverstappen1: pay up, mate
user: this was so NOT on my 2023 bingo card, wth
user: does that mean my fav wag is back?!?? 🤩🤩
francisca.cgomes: oohhh?? 😏
user: you’re so 😍😍😍😍 and then there’s him 😬😬
user: not my wife getting back with him 😑
user: count your days, l*and*
↳ user: please 😭😭
user: this makes me so happy, idc
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 776,859 others
landonorris: good idea, right? (swipe for a surprise) 😌
tagged: @yourusername
view 7,946 comments
user: thE CAPTION, HELLO?!??!?
user: they’re back together, that’s all that matters 😭😭
yourusername: hey, you copied my caption …
yourusername: you’re cute or whatevaa 😉
↳ landonorris: right back at you 😉
user: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS STILL
user: idk if i should be happy or cry
user: nOt him making her smile 😩 that should be me
user: i would’ve gotten back with her too, i get it, lando
oscarpiastri: okay, this is cute … i guess
↳ landonorris: you guess?
georgerussell63: 😏
user: they really hard launched their relationship just like that
carlossainz55: where’s the surprise?
↳ yourusername: 🙄 this is why i’m taking lando back from u
↳ landonorris: technically, you’ve always had me 😏
maxverstappen1: from friends, to lovers, to exes, to fuck buddies, to lovers again … cute
↳ user: does this confirms these fuckers never stopped seeing each other?!?? 😭😭
↳ user: nOt max exposing them 💀
↳ user: max, you’re telling me that these two have been hooking up even after they broke up?!?? 🤔
↳ maxverstappen1: 👍🏼
user: that last post is cute tho 😩
user: i NEEDED this!
user: ynlando nation rise!! our favs are back together 😌
maxfewtrell: get it 😉
user: i still cannot believe this is real
user: i guess this technically confirms they ended on good terms when they broke up the first time
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962 notes · View notes
luffyvace · 1 month
Text
Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~
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Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!
this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man
Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦‍♀️😑😂’ yk?
he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥
now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕
he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️
HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍
Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away
He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P
his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.
literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)
now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣
his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗
ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.
He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌
he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭
WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR
(yes it’s canon 😞)
you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way
Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)
his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑‍🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷‍♀️
whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋
undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️
yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’
Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂
dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???
I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)
i love how shameless this guy is
why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿
ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗
147 notes · View notes
ilylovelyz · 10 months
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kenma fatherly headcannons
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i thought it would be interesting to think about what kenma would be like as a father 🤔
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look, im not even gonna be nice with it, i definitely dont see kenma being excited at the idea of having a kid 😭
definitely was like "are you being fr 😟?" when you told him
he obviously wasnt an asshole about it, but he couldn't help his feeling and indifference about the whole thing
the two of you had a long talk about it
the whole time he was more or less "are you sure about this"
hes not a horrible person/partner, he wasnt about to force you to do an abortion
he just wanted to make sure this was actually what you wanted to do and if you were actually serious about it
after you were stern about keeping the baby, he was fine with it
he was more worried about how he would be like as a father because he's very much scared of little kids and struggles to bond with just anyone
also a little peeved at the thought of his alone/free time being taken away
doesnt like the idea of his alone time with you having a literal permanent third wheeler but wont admit that to anyone but kuroo 🌚
during ur pregnancy, he was actually really okay with it
he would check up on you various times of the day, asking how you feel
yeah, he wasnt really excited for it, but that doesn't mean he wont try for it
would pause his games and go to wherever part of the house you were in, eyeing your baby bump with those wary cat eyes of his, all "..how are you feeling..?"
tbh i see you getting pregnant before marrying him because the two of you were kinda lazy with being careful 😅
he kinda facepalms because now hes like "why didnt i think of the possibility of pregnancy🤦🏽‍♀️"
while it doesn't speed up the whole process, he'll now begin taking the thought of marriage seriously
he'll bring up the idea of eloping, or a small wedding because he doesn't like the idea of a big and elaborate wedding ceremony/party
he didnt really care about gender, but he did care about baby names because he didnt want the baby to have a stupid name
now i see him being very curious tho
so he'll ask you a bunch of questions about how it feels to be pregnant, eyes wide when you tell him all the gruesome parts 😭
will also spend some time looking up more information about pregnancy and childbirth
now i do think he'd be aware about how he should change himself for the better
he grew up kinda isolated, and he 100% didnt want that for his kid, especially considering the fact that his child will most likely be an only child too
aw sleeping in kenma's arms while he plays video games cuz hormones made you sad
he'll like announce ur pregnancy to his followers/fans, it was so random he was like "yeah guys im having a kid 😪 kinda scary ngl" during one of his livestreams
really appreciates and is totally surprised when he's gifted money and baby supplies by his fans
maybe posts short little clips of you sleeping in an odd position or doing random things because he thinks its funny how you now do things differently because your bump prevents you from doing things in a certain way
i think it would interest him in the way your baby bump grows
he would be a little mortified at the way he would poke your bump's skin and watch his indent stay there long after he pulled his finger away
would be kinda "??? 🤔🤨" when he first feels the baby's kick/movements
he would "begrudgingly" walk to the store for you late at night if you were craving something
acts all annoyed but lets bffr kenma we know ur a softie 🤣
okay for the birth tho he's so mortified
definitely doesnt want to watch but obviously will be there for you because he knows better
the whole time he feels secondhand discomfort for you and feels your cries in his deep in his core cuz ur in pain and he doesn't like that 😕
this might sound weird, but i see him bringing his portable gaming system to the hospital so you can play with him and get ur mind off things
not saying his feeling towards the baby will change after the birth, but he'll definitely be like "oh wow 😳" when the baby is first born
have u ever seen that clip of steve irwin first looking at bindi when shes born and hes all amazed and awestruck by her?
its like that but its less noticeable and its more like "this is my child?"
a little scared to hold the baby at first because he's afraid to drop her
but once he does he'll look down at it and be like "ur not so bad afterall 😪"
DEFINITELY doesn't get any sleep during the first few months because he'll for some reason take late night feedings/crying upon himself
hes all "ur such a pain bro 😒" while rocking the baby back and forth to soothe it, all cuddly and gentle with it
tbh i cant decide whether it be a girl or boy so its up to reader to decide
omg hes mortified after the first belch spit hes gone afterwards
literally condemns the baby to hell
hates changing diapers but does it for the sake of the baby's comfort and health
when he's alone with the baby, he'd be like "ur kinda ugly 🤔" while playing around with it
tbh i see him getting random bouts of urges to play with the baby and speaking to it in a baby voice secretly
gets really embarrassed if hes caught and acts like it never happened
when ur not there to watch the baby while he's gaming he'll actually be okay with the baby sitting in his lap while he games
if he wins he'll be all "lets goooo 😝" all up in the babies face 😭 lifting it up into the air and just being such a gamer dad
also starts teaching the baby how to play games real early on, making them hold a controller or something and teaching them game logistics
the baby is like 5 months old and doesn't know about taxes but knows about dnd 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️
i see him like announcing the birth of his kid to his followers/fans a couple weeks after the birth
only shows what the baby looks like when its like 6 months old and crawling all in the background, he'll turn around and be like "wanna see my baby?", lift up the baby and put it's face all up close into the camera 😭
does 0.5 and only 0.5 photos on the thing 😅
does a couple more streams afterwards when he "games" with the baby and blame loosing on the poor thing 😅
aw i can see him and the baby having matching outfits when he goes out with it
he's not the best dad, but he'll try his hardest
on a sweet note, if kenma feels lonely when ur away, he'll allow the baby to sleep in the bed he shares with you as a "substitution" and cuddle with it
yk that tiktok audio that goes "leave me alone baby 😒" and then goes "ur my baby i love you ☹️☹️🥰😘" yeah that hes that
997 notes · View notes
hotpotatopotat · 7 months
Text
I had a mini contest to rewrite a bkdk Mer AU comic on twt 🤣 all of them were so funny ngl, but this one made me snort cackle.
Kirishima seal and Bakugou mer shouldn't read books without context huh
I hope you all had fun 😘
Thanks to @RoyceCl86789586 on twt for the funnies😁
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400 notes · View notes
footballlover8 · 4 months
Text
Hot’n Cold || Pablo Gavi (Insta Au)
Warnings: hinting too some unaliving yourself as a joke, swearing. (let me know if there is anything else)
Requested?: Yes/No
(Also the first one in the second picture, pretend it’s a vape just for the better)
@Y/n.Gz
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Liked by salmaparalluelo, joaofelix79, pedri and 275.537 others
@Y/n.Gz:Cold asf, help me please😭
View comments…
Pedri:Get used too it gusano🪱❤��� (worm)
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@Y/n.Gz:BOY!!???? WHY WORM???
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Pablogavi:You sleep like a worm, swear too god, you kick me 4 times in a minute when you sleep
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@Y/n.Gz:Excuse me?????
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Pedri:Deadass, you slept on the couch once, and you kicked fer where the sun doesn’t shine anymore
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@Y/n.Gz:Fck you🖕
Mikkykimmeney:My cold baby💗
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@Y/n.Gz:Love youuuuu!💗💗
Pablogavi:Hot
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@Y/n.Gz:Boy? No context??????😭
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Pablogavi:It’s a compliment
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@Y/n.Gz:can you add an emoji???? It’s so weird without one😭 I feel like you’re attacking me, help it’s so sarcastic🔪
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Pablogavi:My sexy baby🫵❤️
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@Y/n.Gz:sounds kinda pedo🐿️
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Pablogavi:You’re never happy are ya?🥲
gavilovver:No but bffr, she’s hot asf😍
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Bbg..Y/n:Frrrr!😍
Pablogavi_is.Mine: smoking is bad for you
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Pedriloves:Fr, she should set a good example.
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Pepi:Like I’m a little disappointed ngl
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Gavi69:It’s a vape but okey😭
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Pepi:Still bad
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Gavi69:Be fr, half the football community vapes, no one cares, and she’s literally just a girl
Fan1:So prettyyyyyyy😍❤️
View more comments….
@Y/n.Gz
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Liked by pablogavi, hctorforrt_, pedri and 553.825 others
@Y/n.Gz:Made Gavi make a snot angel❄️☃️🪽
View comments…
_Ferminlopez:Snot angel??? That’s new, did he like sneeze?
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@Y/n.Gz:Die
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_Ferminlopez:Wow, harsh. @pablogavi how do you deal with her????
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Pablogavi:Honestly…not sure, she’s a crazy baby with anger issues I swear
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@Y/n.Gz:You can die too
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Fan7:La masia Duo dies as 19 and 20
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@Y/n.Gz:sounds pretty valid
Pedri:Mama called me saying she couldn’t get a hold of you, like phone nor on social media, did you block her????😭😭
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@Y/n.Gz:None of your business 🫶🏼
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Pablogavi:Bambi!? Why did you block her????????
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@Y/n.Gz:she was like, “you should dress warmer” all the time, but I was like “no”
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Pablogavi:Bambi…that’s not a valid reason, I swear you’re a stubborn 5 year old sometimes🥲
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Pedri:All the time not sometimes
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@Y/n.Gz:@pablogavi you always make yourself sound like a pedo
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Pablogavi:Bambi I swear I’ll open the window when you’re sleeping tonight
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@Y/n.Gz:You wouldn’t dare
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Pablogavi:Oh but I would
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Pedri:Wow dude, that’s intense…even from you
Vickylopezz._:Babe, I’ll marry you one day😍😍
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@Y/n.Gz:MUAHHHH😘😘😘
Mikkykiemeney:Hermosa😍😘
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@Y/n.Gz:LOVE YOU💗🫶🏼
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@Y/n.Gz
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Liked by danielalexmachado, joaofelix79, marcguiu9 and 799.999 others
@Y/n.Gz:I’m also just a girl💗🎀
View comments….
Pedri:You’re a demon child, that’s what you are
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@Y/n.Gz:😃😃😃🫵
Pablogavi:You gonna pretend you were the ones that baked that Bambi?
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@Y/n.Gz:Shut up
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Pedri:JAJAJAJA AS IF YOU COULD EVER DO THAT
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@Y/n.Gz:I’ll punch you
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Feeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr: Funny how you two come from a family of chefs and can’t do shit yourselves🤣🤣
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Pedri:I’m better than her at least
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@Y/n.Gz:IM A CHILD STOP ATTACKING ME🔪🔪🔪🔪
Fan79:Help, she’s so pretty🥰😍
Fan9:Shes also just a girl🎀💕💗💅🏽🌸
Fan55:Fuck me
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Fan87:Wow wow wow
Ferrantorres:What does that even mean?????
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@Y/n.Gz:nothing a man should get concerned over. For you💐
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Alejandrobalde:What the fuck? Can I have too??
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@Y/n.Gz:Here💐💐
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Alejandrobalde:Hah! I got two @ferrantorres !
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Ferrantorres:They we’re all dead🥀🥀🥀🥀
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@Y/n.Gz:That was dark sharkboy…..Lavagirl
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@Y/n.Gz
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Liked by _ferminlopez, pedri, ferrantorres and 488.777 others
@Y/n.Gz: Christmas Birthday with bf? I love😍💗 @pablogavi
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_Ferminlopez: Happy birthday you clumsy fuck🫶🏼🪱
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@Y/n.Gz:What is it with y’all and the fucking worm?????
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Joaofelix79:You literally deadass kicked him off the bed once?????
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@Y/n.Gz:No i didn’t!????
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Pablogavi:Yes you did Bambi😭 But that’s okey, still love you 😘
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@Y/n.Gz:G😭 Tahnks I guess
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Pedri:Can you write? Or are you completely dumbfounded????
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@Y/n.Gz:Excuse me??? I’ll block you gtfo
Hctorforrt_:Happy birthday 🖕🫶🏼
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@Y/n.Gz:Yall are mean I swear😭
Mikkykiemeney:@frenkiedejong
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Frenkiedejong:What’s this supposed to mean!!????
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Pablogavi:Trust me…it’s a hint, a big one at that
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@Y/n.Gz:@Mikkykiemeney I can break up with gavi, and we can date?
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Mikkykiemeney:Oh please dooooo!
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Frenkiedejong:Excuse me? I gave you a son?🥲
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Mikkykiemeney:I birthed him, don’t see your point
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Frenkiedejong:🥲🥲🥲🥲
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Pablogavi: @Y/n.Gz a little hurt, but girl power I guess🤞🤝
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Fan2:Gavi wtf?
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Fan:7:I’ll take them both…
Taia_Belloli:I want😭
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@Y/n.Gz:I give😉
Danielalexmachado:Feliz cumpleaños, Bebita😘❤️ (happy birthday baby)
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@Y/n.Gz:Thank you mami😘💗
Mikkykiemeney:Happy birthday too the sweetest girl ever!❤️🥰
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@Y/n.Gz:Love youuuuu momma bear❤️
View more comments….
@Y/n.Gz
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Liked by pablogavi, joaofelix79, pedri and 473.736 others
@Y/n.Gz:Why is he like this?????? Why do I actually have a good bf???? @pablogavi
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Vickyylopezz_.:BABE? Are you complaining!???????
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@Y/n.Gz:NO I SWEAR BUT LETS BE FR HE CRAYCRAY😭
Pablogavi:I’m gonna marry you one day sooner or later
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@Y/n.Gz:STOPPPP THAT SOUNDS SO AGRESSIVE, I love you though💗
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_Ferminlopez:One weird chick
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@Y/n.Gz:Baby chicks 🐥🐣
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_Ferminlopez:Yeah you sure as hell walk like one that has just cracked out from the egg
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@Y/n.Gz: @pablogavi you just gonna let him??????🔪🫵
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Pablogavi:Bambi..Te amo❤️
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@Y/n.Gz:No you don’t topper!
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Pedri:Who tf is topper??
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Pablogavi:Please not this shit again Bambi….
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@Y/n.Gz:YOU LOVE THE IDEA OF ME!
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_ferminlopez:Why are you like this?
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@Y/n.Gz:YOU LOVE BEING SEEN WITH ME!
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@Y/n.Gz:But you don’t love me…
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Pedri:Wtf?
Vickylopezz._:Are you adopted?
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@Y/n.Gz:Babe????😭😭😭
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Vickylopezz._:Too pretty too be related too pedri swear
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@Y/n.Gz:STOPPPPP🫶🏼😘🥰🫵
View more comments…
@Y/n.Gz
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Liked by katrinefogtfriis, pablogavi, pedri and 548.888 others
@Y/n.Gz: @pablogavi took me too fcking Greece. Crazy human being swear too god, te amo mucho!❤️
View comments…
Pablogavi:te amo tambien Mi pequena Bambi❤️ (I love you too my little Bambi)
Pedri:Knew all along, I actually helped so it would be nice to get a thank you as well hermanita🙄 (little sister)
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@Y/n.Gz:ew👁️👅👁️
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Pablogavi:What does that even mean?😭
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@Y/n.Gz:Tongue between eyes👁️👅👁️🐿️
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Pedri:What drugs are you on????😭
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Pablogavi:Sleeping drugs, swear she’s about too pass out if she has too lift her thumb once more
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Pedri:Jeez,cray cray, dunno how you deal with her, she’s like a 3 year old stuck in 17 years olds body😭
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@Y/n.Gz:I’ll shoot you with a croquette in the face
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Pedri:You have no aim
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@Y/n.Gz:harsh
Vickyylopezz_.:Wanna like…get married right now?
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@Y/n.Gz:Do you seriously have too ask?
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Pablogavi:Stopppp😭 why is everyone stealing my gf from me?
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Vickyylopezz_.: accept it, she’s too pretty for you🙂
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@Y/n.Gz:You’re both too pretty for me😘
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Fan66:Awwww, she’s defending him in a discreet way 🥰😫
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@Y/n.Gz
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@Y/n.Gz:I think I like this little Life🫵💗 @pablogavi
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Pablogavi:why do you say that every second I do something normal for you???😭
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@Y/n.Gz:Low standards, but you be giving me high standards that I get shocked at family dinners with my brothers and cousins
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Adrifebles:Bitch
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Pedri:@adrifebles preach
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@Y/n.Gz:I’ll expose your little ass🥰
Pablitogavi:Help! They came to my grandparents restaurant! They were so nice! AHHHH!
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Gavibbg:Babe!? I want too be you so bad!😫
Taia_belloli:sweethearts💕
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@Y/n.Gz:💗💗💗
Fan6:Her tan though!😫
Fan3:Can I please change life’s with her
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Fan8:Nah him! She’s so prettyyyyyy😍
Marcguiu9:Stop.with.this.love.dovey.shit
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@Y/n.Gz:I’ll come too the next practice too personally shoot a ball in your face
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fatuismooches · 5 months
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Gosh i love the hc of the Fatui agents have a dedicated Fatui guide/handbook about each of the Harbingers 🤣 ngl it breathes a ton of fun stuff to think about.
For example, that one with Dottore having a sweet tooth (thx to his s/o for that info) and now everyone starts bringing some candies with them whenever they got assigned to him is probably the funniest one yet 😂😂
Also, i believe each of those handbooks have different size and pages according to which Harbingers on the front cover. I think Capitano probably have the least amount of pages, since he treats his subordinates well and then both Dottore and Sandrone probably have lots of pages, since.. you know.. they like to experiment on their own subordinates, etc. 💀. Also idk why, the more i think about it, the more it feels like these handbooks is like a "Survival Handbook" for the Fatui- 💀
-🥝
AHAHA ME TOO!! It really just gives a lot of brain rot, and it's funny to think about how each generation passes on the book to the next new recruits and stuff just keeps getting added. (A lot thanks to you. You have a habit of accidentally exposing them, don't you?)
Dottore and his segments will probably never recover from your little slip-up. At some point, they have to accept the new ways of the Fatuis, not just for them, but also because the agents like to offer sweets to you as well to show their respect. And you love that! Free food! Just don't think you can get out of every situation with a mere piece of candy...
Capitano definitely has the least pages regarding rules, but the longest pages as to why the recruits love him so much. He is highly respected after all, his soldiers could go on and on about how great of a leader he is. Some of these reasons were also provided by you as well - (Lord Capitano is an animal person. Lord Capitano feeds the stray cats and dogs of any nation. Lord Capitano helped a lost bird return to its nest. These facts are a courtesy of [Name].)
Ah Sandrone... the agents know you as the only one she doesn't have a bad temper with all the time. The one who knows how to prepare her tea the way she likes it and how to set the sweets on the table in the proper manner. She doesn't bother hiding her like for tea parties. She just really doesn't care what others think. (A big rule in her handbook is that if Lord Sandrone asks you to prepare her something, it's best to seek [Name] out first so you do it the correct way. Or risk failure. And then risk pain.]
It definitely doubles as a survival booklet, especially if you happen to work under Scaramouche... (the biggest rule - please fetch [Name] if you think Lord Scaramouche is about to electrocute someone.)
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🪓 Nerdy Prudes Must Die - Some Thoughts 🪓
I decided to rewatch NPMD (second day in a row 🙈) and wanted to write down some random thoughts and reactions because why the fuck not 😌
‼️ SPOILERS FOR NPMD BELOW ‼️
I loved this show from the second it started omg I love things about murder 🤭
“Riiiiichie… Riiiiiichie…” — kind of gave off IT vibes ngl
They really killed off Jon Matteson’s nerd character in the first 35 seconds 💀
“They twisted his nipples off 🤣” - WHY WAS HE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT
THE PROJECTION OF THE TITLE IN THE VICTIM’S BLOOD, STARKID HAD HELLA BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW 🙌🏻
“🎵I’m dead…the blood is arbitrating from my head🎵” needs to become a trending TikTok sound or something oh my fucking gOD
LAUREN YOU QUEEN 🙌🏻👏🏻 also living for that fucking wig
MARIAHHHHHHH 🎵❤️
Definitely felt the “High School is Killin’ Me” “I’m so fucking dead” in my soul even though I’m a full ass adult now
“I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problematic puppy” ROFL OMFG
Joey as Peter Spankoffski 😭👏🏻
ANGELA AS GRACE CHASITY HELL FUCKIN YEAH SHE IS EATING THIS PART UP
We all knew someone at school who snitched to the teachers lbh 💀
“So you don’t wanna be bullied?” “No, I wanna be invisible.” “…then why do you come to public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bow tie?” - PLEAAAASE 💀🤣
MICRO-PETER 😂💀
Joey taking off his glasses and going “oh god” under his breath, “IT’S NOT ACTUALLY A MICROPENIS”… oh he ATE the role, R*bert who?!?
“My titties are tenderised” - I MEAN SAME BUT-?!?
“I didn’t know you were funny.” “Neither did I.” “I like funny guys.” — I AM SORRY BUT IM ALREADY SHIPPING HARD
Actually obsessed with Richie’s hair and outfit like I can’t explain it other than I’m obsessed
IT’S MAX JÄGERMAN
“Ohh well there’s a difference between intent and impact - I learnt that at an anti bullying assembly last month, FUCK NUGGET” took me off guard tbh like I know I’m tired and easily surprised but still 🤭
GRACE CHASITY PROTESTING THE CO-ED HOMECOMING DANCE I CANNOT-
Jägerman is literally the archetype of the school bully jock who peaked in high school like omg but also he’s into Grace?!?!
“I run laps in the gym and I don’t want to slip on any SPUNK” - FUCKING HELL
“Can I carry your books for you?” “Carry my books? 🤢 I don’t think either of us are ready for that, I mean we’re only 18!”
“My little dirty girl.” — 😳😲😮‍💨
“I am only one man’s girl, Max, and his name is Jesus Christ!” — IM FUCKING HOWLING ANGELA KILLED THE DELIVERY OF THAT LINE I CANT-
“I’m a literal monster!” - oh so Max is self aware then 🤔
“This is politics, Stephanie 🙄 learn to multitask!”
I love that Starkid keep casting Corey as Mariah’s dad?!?
Stephanie is apparently her father’s “October surprise”… so her birthday is in October, like Hannah Foster’s? 🤔
“Stephanie, please, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you - in other words, shut up” - DAMN WHAT A BURN
NOOO NOT HER PHONE 😰 (I am also addicted to my phone so I get it lol)
NOT STEPHANIE THROWING HER HAND BETWEEN HER PHONE AND THE HAMMER OMFG (same though)
Mayor Lauter really said “I don’t give a shit if you lie, steal or cheat to get your grades up, just don’t get caught” - spoken like a true politician
“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?!?” probably should not have resonated with me like it did 🤭
Peter trying to make a joke and Richie and Ruth not getting it is so relatable tbh
I’m obsessed with Ruth’s mushroom jumper tbh
“I just want someone to touch me… anyone, PLEASE” — ROFL (same girl)
“What was it like when she touched your arm?… DID YOU CUM?!?” — 💀💀💀💀
“You and Steph, it’s a fantasy - like a boy and his anime love pillows. It’s a beautiful dream, but I’ll never hold the real Rei or Asuka in my arms.” — I AM PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
“I’m such a loser, telemarketers hang up on me” 💀😭
DID RICHIE JUST FUCKING SAY “NANI!” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHOW 🤣
Richie and Ruth climbing Pete like a tree and demanding to know what Stephanie is saying is so ridiculously funny 😆
“Really, Ruth? A Star Wars analogy? Need I go into why Attack on Titan is superior in every possible way?” — STARKID UNDERSTAND THE NERDS I LOVE IT
“You’re telling me I gotta be funny again?!? I didn’t do it on purpose the first time!”
“Pete, you’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity - someone’s willing to tolerate your presence for a whole evening! This may never happen again!” — damn wish that would happen to me 😭🙈
Not Pete getting a boner during “Cool as I think I am” 🙈
Nooooo not Max finding Pete before he could go into the restaurant to meet Stephanie 😭
“I’m sick of your ssshhhhit!” — YES PETEY STAND UP TO HIM
The fact Max said “Rendezvous” as “Randay-Voose” 💀
The way it transitioned from “say your prayers” to the Chasity family going “AMEN” was PERFECTION
Grace’s father referring to his wife as “mother” is…something 💀
“He came up to me in the hallway and he asked if he could carry my books.” “Oh, Mark - I didn’t know that sort of thing happened at Hatchetfield High! Do you think you should call the boy’s father?” — ?!?!?!
“Mom, will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? (Chuckles nervously) I just want some head and butter. BREAD! Bread! Bread and butt-sex to go with this big shaft of meat I’m gonna choke down. Oh boy…oh criminy!” - THE SCREECH I GAVE WAS UNHOLY
“I’ve just got some butterflies in my tummy; and they’re flying REAL low today” 😭💀🙈
GRACE FANTASISING ABOUT MAX IN THE BATH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS
“Brewing up a big ol’ pot of dirty girl soup” - ABSOLUTELY NOT 💀
HES FUCKING SHIRTLESS WHAT THE FUCK-
“Everyone’s got their secrets, and this one’s mine. I love… Jesus! 😃” - this was when I definitely knew she was fantasising because ain’t no fucking way-
WAS THE DIRTY GIRL SONG SUPPOSED TO BE VIEWED AS HOT BECAUSE I AM VERY FLUSTERED AND CONFUSED AND TOTALLY VIBING WITH THE TUNE
🎵 DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON’T YOU PRAY FOR ME🎵
You see, if Christian parents didn’t repress their teenager’s hormones and sexuality then MAYBE their teenagers wouldn’t resort to murder 🙃
Grace’s dad saying he’s going to get the plunger when she said she was doing a big poop 😭💀
Grace really thinks that impure thoughts only happen after marriage and I almost envy her innocence
“Money isn’t everything… looks are.” - yeah no that about sums people up in this day and age 😑
“We thought you were waifu material, but you’re just a bully” — NOT WAIFU MATERIAL 💀
PETE’S BLACK EYE NOOOO 😭🥺
Grace is kind of a psychopath and I’m loving that for her tbh
“I’m not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language” but she’s comfortable with filming someone getting terrified and pissing their pants 💀
The “the place is not structurally sound” comment was DEFINITELY foreshadowing
“I get pus in my pits!” Jesus ☠️
🎵🤌🏻we’re gonna bully the bully🤌🏻🎵
“We’re gonna cut off his nips!” - what is with the obsession with n!pples in this show 😳
I’M SORRY BUT THIS IS ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT KEEPING THE BEANS COOL
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“You’re like super nice to me 😀” “…not really. I’m just doing the bare minimum here.” “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” “Oh, that’s sad!” — 😂😅🤣
“Okay, Richie, be honest… Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda” — OH FUCKING GOD IM CACKLING
“You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown” 💀 FOURTH WALL BREAK?!?
Max must be VERY drunk because ain’t no way he thought Pete was a ghost or Ruth was actually a skeleton 💀
“Grace, we gotta abort the plan, it’s not working!” “It’s working for me, he’s so violent! 😍”
Not Max actually being touched by them putting this whole thing together for him 💀 very much giving off himbo vibes and I love him for that
MAX FELL THREE STOREYS
Oh my GOD THE FUCKING MAKE UP ON MAX FOR HIS DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT
“NERDY! PRUDES! MUST! DIE!” — oh hey it’s the name of the show! 😃 And also it was written on the wall in… oh 😳
“I did get a lot of incriminating footage of us luring him here with malicious intent!” - uh oh
“My god! We’re going to jail! And with my luck, no one will even bother making me their bitch!” — PLEASE 💀
“It wasn’t murder, and it wasn’t an accident… it was an act of God! 😇” - Grace is UNHINGED
“No more tickling in our mommy spots!” - OUR WHAT SPOTS?!?
“🎵🤌🏻 We’re gonna bury the body! 🤌🏻🎵”
“Oh no she’s snapping again”
“I just cut off his nips 😌” - again with the nips?!?
DAN AND DONNA 😃😃😃
“Two weeks of heartache” - cut to all of his classmates happy without his influence 💀
STEPH PASSED THE TEST! 😃
“Ya know, this is really your C+.” “Oh Steph… you can keep it. It’d really bring down my GPA.”
Steph asking Pete out to the football game 🥹😁 we love to see it!
GO GO NIGHTHAWKS! 😃🦅 (I know it’s an eagle emoji there’s no hawk emoji 🙈)
“N, I-G, H-T… *squawk squawk* Ks!” 👏🏻🙌🏻
Richie is the team mascot and they wanted/needed him in the huddle 🥹
They apologised for bullying him 😭👏🏻
“And we’d like to apologise in advance for if Max ever comes back, ‘cause we’ll probably go right back to doing it”
“Fuck Clivesdale! Fuck ‘em straight to hell! Assholes!” — AGREED! 👏🏻
I’m 90% sure Jon actually struggled with taking that mascot top off but it worked well with the scene so 😌
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“I love being alive! 😃” — oh he’s so about to fucking die, isn’t he?
IT’S MAX CALLING FOR RICHIE HES BACK FROM THE DEAD
MAX’S COSTUME/MAKE UP IS AMAZING OH MY GOD 😌💅🏻
“Should’ve joined the smoke club you nerdy prude” — ANOTHER SMOKE CLUB REFERENCE
Every song on this soundtrack fucking slaps I LOVE IT
There’s not very many men that can pull off being absolutely absolutely fucking terrifying while dancing and singing across the stage but Will Branner managed it so kudos to him
The bit where Richie was repeating what Max said (“who will pray for me? When I’m gone?”) was INSANELY GOOD
“What did they find? You don’t say…you don’t say!” “What’d they find, dad?” “They didn’t say” - 💀
“Oh heck… I’m so hecking fudged”
“*relieved* Oh well we don’t know anything about that one!” “Or ANY one!”
“Maybe it’s a coincidence. People tell me to die every day!” — Okay why is Ruth kind of me 😭
THE FUCKING CAMEOS IN “HATCHET TOWN” ASDFGHJKL?!?! ZIGGY?! MAN IN A HURRY?!? GERALD MONROE?!?
“Ohhh I remember before the lockdown” - yeah me too 😅
THE BARBECUE MONOLOGUES GOT ME HOLLERING 💀
Ruth walking onto the stage and into the spotlight 🥺 literally she was me this whole scene omg I relate so hard to most of what she said ASDFGHJKL
Lauren ATE that song up by the way
MAX KILLED HER BY WEDGIE-ING HER IN TWO AND THEN PUT THE PANTS OVER HER HEAD WHAT THE FUCK MAX 😭
Him telling her to “project” so those in the back row could hear her triggered me so bad as an actor omg 😳
Grace really accusing the entirety of Clivesdale 💀
As soon as the WWJD bracelet was brought up I KNEW what was going on 😭
“Who’s plan was it, Grace?” “It was God’s plan! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! Do something, you son of a bitch!” 💀😅🤣
Grace has lost her fucking SHIT and I fully support that for her
“Show Me Your Hands” musical refrain?!
BEANIES?!? PAUL AND EMMA?!? 😭😭😭 ITS FUCKING PAUL AND EMMA I CANNOT-
“Cup of roasted coffee” refrain too?!?
PAUL GAVE EMMA HIS NUMBER 😭❤️
PAUL + EMMA IN EVERY SINGLE TIMELINE, EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSE-
“EXCUSE ME I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND I STILL HAVE NOT RECIEVED MY GODDAMN HOT CHOCOLATE” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂 I FUCKKING CANT IM DONE
🎵”Don’t need a lover boy need a lover man / sure I’m a sapiosexual and you’re intellectual but I’ll cut my lover losses when I can” 🎵 — this song goes so hard omg
Grace pushing between them and shouting “leave room for Jesus!” 💀
“Do we need to get ahold of Ruth?” “Good luck getting ahold of her. Does your phone pls cover calls to hell?” “…Hell?” “She’s bisexual and dead, where else would she be?!?” — 💀
Grace whipping out the gun and telling Steph to cool her beans was so iconic of her
“(Canadian accent) ‘Cause if I’m going down, you hosers comin’ with me, eh” — OH MY FUCKING GOD
Doesn’t shock me a cop would arrest Paul for zero fucking reason, fuck the police 💀
“All I wanted was to be a regular girl with no sexual desire until she was safely married 😭” the FUCK-
“Don’t comfort her, she’s fuckin’ weird” 💀
“I don’t give a shit who you kill - but you just had to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?” — Mayor Lauter really said “murder is fine but NOT in that specific house, you fucking idiots”
THE LORDS IN BLACK?!? 😃 WIGGLY AND BLINKY AND POKEY AND NIBBLY AND TINKY?!?!? FUCK YEAAAAHH
“She gave me head in her car - check it out!” *throws Miss Tessburger’s head onstage* — BRO THE FUCK
WELP I GUESS MAYOR LAUTER IS DEAD THEN?!?
“Detective Shapiro, are you a woman of faith?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no” — THE FUCK GRACE 😑
They’re really about to summon five otherworldly entities who are evil I’m-
The Summoning screams CRACK and I’m living for it
“Hello Fwendy-Wends” - SCREAMING LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING
“WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE” TOOK ME OUT ASDFGHJKL
SHE CHERISHES PETE 😭
“Pay the price or fuck off” 💀
Can I just say that I need would love a show specifically just about the Lords in Black fucking about and it’s Jon the whole time as Wiggly exactly as he was during the Summoning scene because that was AMAZING IM SHAKING-
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The fact Pete cherishes Steph and she cherishes him oh my hEART 😭
“Hey Steph, if things were different, would you wanna come to homecoming with me?” “I’d like that, Pete. I’d really like that.” - SHUT THE FUCK UP NO 😭😭😭
Not Max saving Pete from being shot 💀
“So you do know the Bible!” — GRACE OMG IM SCREECHING HELP
“But Jesus never threw a football like you, Max” - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
Max being confused about what dirty girl soup is and then being turned on when she explains 😭💀
“Take me, Max, right here on the 50 yard line!” — oh dear gOD
Max’s struggle over whether to kill Steph and Pete or whether to bang Grace omfg 😭😅
THE NOISES OFF STAGE OMFG WTAF 😭💀😂😅🤣
Grace got Max kicking his feet, twirling his hair, after one shag, just like a teenage girl 💀 I’m crying so hard with laughter I can’t cope with it-
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GRACE GAVE HIM HER CHASTITY AND SACRIFICED WHAT SHE CHERISHED MOST ASDFGHJKL
PETE AND STEPHANIE AT HOMECOMING TOGETHER ASDFGHJKL ✨T H E M ✨
Grace choosing not to get the dance cancelled and she brought a date?!? That’s character development! 😀
She let Jason walk her home?!? O_o and then asked him to kiss her?!?!
“That was… absolutely disgusting! Really, Jason?!? Kissing on the first date?!?” Oh noooo 💀
“You’re a dirty perv, Jason”
SHES GOT THE FUCKING BLACK BOOK IS SHE SUMMONING THEM AGAIN
🎵DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE🎵
Well thIS TOOK A FUCKING TURN DAMN
Anyway, 11/10, immaculate, amazing, incredible, show-stopping, would recommend to everyone of course and will definitely be rewatching it a LOT 🪓
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