Explaining to a small child that Jabba the Hut was mean because he "put Han Solo in an ice cube" might be the highlight of my week. The dad certainly laughed. I also got to be the first person to tell him a big secret: that Princess Leia was the person to "beat him up" and it was so cool and strong of her. Big wins for the Star Wars kids tonight. They took every Jeffrey Brown hardcover comic we had on their way out 🤣
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all-star
gorgug and the bad kids (gen), 4.1k, friendship slice of life
Gorgug only really has one pair of shoes.
(or: several pairs of converse, a poorly planned intervention, and a rotating schedule of organized destruction.)
(read on ao3)
for @mayodad, for giving me the silliest idea to run with in the dumbest way possible 💛🤠
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lixies quote of the day #11
skz felix smut warning for this one, also its kinda a short storytime lol
so basically some annoying ass nerd mf who sits at my table in class (we fight basically every 2 minutes) was holding a pencil n then he said "i wonder if this pencil would fit down lixie's throat"
so i was thinking abt felix n like without thinking i just said
"yk what else would fit down my throat"
n before i could even answer my first question my friend said
"felix?"
n like. how did she know. HOW DID SHE KNAURRRR
mind reading shit istg
i also then told my friends that i wanted felix to choke me (with his cock) n put me on a leash n i think theyre concerned for my mental health hahahahhahueeuehueehMWAWAHHAHAHAHAHHAA
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Say It With Me
[ReaderXJake Drabble]
CW: mass vore and overstuffing, implied digestion/fatal, indigestion, minor belching, lots of teasing, and a fat dragon
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You smirk as you rest atop the dragon’s massively bloated midsection. Your eyes glide momentarily to the carnage around you. What was previously was a busy buffet is in complete disarray. All the buffet tables are empty, effectively cleaned out; some have been ripped out and destroyed. And there’s a distinct lack of people. The place was thronging with customers when you arrived, but now they’re gone.
Well, technically they’re still here, you muse, and smack the side of Jake’s towering gut. The view from up here is quite nice actually. You can nearly reach the ceiling if you stood, and you have a nice front row seat to the dragon’s digestive misery, far from his reach. Not that you think he’d try, from the way he groans, and his stomach churns and whines in pain beneath you. A loud, long, gurgling belch only adds credence to your suspicions.
“You know…” You lean forwards to face him. “I’d hate to tell you I told you so, but~” You smack the side of the dragon’s gut again. Harder this time. The massive tanks rumbles its complaints beneath you, and the glutton groans.
“Ughh…shuddup…” He grimaces, not appreciating the rough treatment. “Dun do that...”
“Or what?” Your smirk widens. “You’ll eat me? Add me to all this?” You pat the gurgling dome. “Reach me from all the way down there? Fat chance~”
It’s hard to say if he catches your clever little pun. He groans all the same. “Ughh...whatever...” He brings his hands to his face. Even he knows he can’t win. “Jus’...help me, alright?”
“I dunno...” Admittedly, you’re tempted to give him what he wants. To sink your hands into his rumbling belly. Feel it churn under your hands as you massage it, helping his overtaxed stomach digest his ridiculous feast. But then again, you have a rare opportunity to milk the situation. To tease him. Relentlessly. Without repercussion. “I think I might need some magic words~”
You’re grinning now. For whatever reason, Jake hates polite words. Much less asking for anything, or showing gratitude, when he can just take it. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ are usually far outside his repertoire.
And yet, disappointingly, he gives in immediately. “P-UoRp...please...”
You’re not surprised though. You’re clever enough to know when the dragon is down. When he’ll relinquish that control. You planned for this outcome. “Hmmm no. I don’t think that’s enough~” You snicker sadistically. “I need words, Jake. How about...‘I’m a moron’~”
Green eyes stare at you, and his brows knit it into a glare. You can see the gears in his head turning, but he says nothing.
“Go on. Say it.” You coax. Your finger mindlessly draws little circles on the surface of his gut. “Just three little words.”
You don’t need to look at him, you can feel the daggers he’s staring into you.
“......I hate you...”
“Oooh, so close! You got three words down,” your voice oozes with smugness as you coo at him. Patronizing him like the misbehaving toddler he is. “Come on. Let’s try that again~”
You can see the confliction on his face. Oh, the dilemma he must be having! The poor, poor (not so) little egotist, having to admit to a personal flaw. That he, once again, did something rash. And stupid. Oh the indignity!
Yet again, he says nothing. But you can sense him wavering. Only one more strike, and this petty victory will be yours.
“Here, I’ll help~” You face the overstuffed dragon once more, grinning.
“Say it with me…”
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Adventures in Librarian-ing
This week I read And Tango Makes Three (a picture book about Central Park Zoo's gay penguins that raised an egg) to the Grade 1s and a class of Grade 3s.
In one class, when I got to the part where the zookeeper decides that Roy and Silo must be in love
one of the kids gave a delighted surprised laugh and went "Wait, are they gay? Are these gay penguins?"
"Yup!" I replied, "And they're real penguins too. This is a real story."
Cue the hubbub of kids chattering at the discovery that gay penguins are a thing.
"Gay penguins!" they marveled over and over.
One of the kids started getting visibly upset, "Guys, stop it! That's a bad word! Stop saying the G-word!"
"It's not a bad word," their classmates assured them, perplexed.
"Anyone can be gay," a classmate explained, clearly trying to be helpful.
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