#So it’s me and my bfs one year anniversary today... can someone tell me what to do and how to do it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anotheranimewriter · 3 years

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Past to Present

Request: Hello, can I request ex bf ran when he was in high school with a fem reader that is now dating bonten sanzu pleaseee.

CW: Spoilers Bonten timeline, cursing, and uhhh a little angst and possessive claims from Sanzu..

Italics are flashbacks. This is also super long, but anyways, I hope you all enjoy it!

“So remind me. Why aren’t we going to our regular bar?” Ran asked in a rather bored tone, at this point in time he didn’t really care where they were going as long as a drink was promised. He wanted nothing more than to drown in exhaustion down a bottle of bourbon. “Cause this bar is a bit special, got a cutie who works at the bar.” Sanzu replied cheerily in a sing song voice, automatically setting Ran’s high radar off, forcing a groan to leave his lips, because he knew if Sanzu was off his shit, so would his brother, and one idiot was already too much to babysit but the two of them together was nothing short of a disaster waiting to happen.

“C’mon Ran, I just want to know what this ‘special’ girl looks like.. Don't be a killjoy.” Rindo chimed in as they all continued walking down the crowded streets filled with the many different nightlife characters. “We’re here!” Sanzu yelled, halting in front of a rather nice looking bar “Ahh, so this is why you told us to keep our suits on.” Takeomi noted flicking his cigarette onto the street, as Sanzu nodded before swinging the door open to the bar with all the Bonten men following in pursuit.

Walking towards the bar the men sat down beside one another as Sanzu leaned over the bar looking for his ‘Special’ girl, but to avail as he sunk back into the bar stool with a slight pout on his lips as he folded his arms with a slight ‘Hmph’ slipping from his lips “Where is she?” He mumbled to himself trying to rack his brain onto the different areas she could've been and just as he was going to open his mouth to ask one of the other girls there were a pair of soft hands over his eyes “Guess who?” She asked, and as those words hit Ran’s ears he felt a deep sense of longing grown in him.

“Guess who?” She whispered in Ran’s ear as he chuckled, bringing his hands up to her gently pulling them down as he turned to face her with a smirk, as she pouted “Ran! You're no fun! You’re supposed to guess.” She said, rolling her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her waist “Well I could have guessed.. But what if I guessed wrong?” He teased as she gasped “Mr. Haitani, don't tell me you're seeing other young ladies.” She taunted as he let out a soft chuckle “Well lucky for you (Y/N)-chan, no other girl could ever compare to you.” He replied bending down to place a kiss on her forehead as she let out a sigh looking to the side of him as he smirked. Ran knew exactly what she wanted, and he enjoyed teasing her until she was nearly pleading for the display of affection, and just as he was going to cave in and give her what she wanted the school bell had rung loudly above them.

She leaned forward placing a quick kiss on his lips catching him off guard before she turned away from him waving her ‘goodbye’ to him “Must you always be such a good girl?” He called out with a smirk as he watched her walk away from him “Hmm and here I thought that's what you liked about me Haitani.” She replied before turning down the corner and out of his view. Ran knew that she had him wrapped around her finger, and even though he was one of the ruthless brothers of Roppongi, that never mattered to her nor did it change how she viewed him to her he was Ran Haitani, the boy that had stolen her heart, the boy that made her heart jump and took her breath away and for Ran that was enough. She was all he needed, and he couldn't imagine having someone else, all he needed was his brother and her.

But sadly for them, their happiness would not last that long, it was their official 1 year anniversary of their relationship when things took a turn for the worse. Ran and Rindo had gotten into a street brawl with a few others, they were defending their streets of Roppongi and their reputation, with a manic smirk Ran looked over to his brother who returned his expression as they took out the trash. Just as Ran wiped the blood from his chin he took out his phone to check if he had any notifications, and once the light turned on he raised an eyebrow at all the messages and calls he had missed from (Y/N). “Shit.” He mumbled to himself as he looked towards his brother who simply nodded as a signal to let Ran know he would do the dirty work.

Making his way to her home through the dark back streets and as he neared her house he saw her sitting on her stoop with a sweater wrapped around her “(Y/N). I’m sorry I’m late.” Ran said walking towards her on the porch as she shook her head “You’re sorry? You're late? Ran, where were you?” She asked as Ran stopped and stood in front of her giving her a bored expression “I had to defend me and my brother's honor.” He replied calmly as she let out a dry laugh “Now let me ask you another question. What's today Ran?” She asked, finally meeting his eyes as he took quick notice of the tear stains running along her face.

He stood there trying to rack his brain to see if he could figure out what exactly was so important that she would be crying on her porch, and just as he was going to open his mouth she quickly laughed hysterically “You don't even know do you?” She questioned as Ran stood there with his same stoic facial expression as her body began to shake “Let me bandage you put one last time Ran.” She sighed softly as he shook his head “Why is today so important to you?” He asked wanting to know what exactly was going on. “Today wasn’t just important to me… well I mean now I guess it was.” She mumbled to herself as she looked over at Ran once more “We’ve been together for a year, starting today Ran.” She said, with no anger in her voice, only pure hurt.

“Oh, well then I do apologize for being late.” He replied nonchalantly, he knew he screwed up but he also saw from her body language there was no turning back. There had been nothing but signs over the past weeks, signs of their equal distances, their detachment, but he only took it as her understanding his duties to his brother and those who served under them, he would've never guessed that she was preparing herself for his own defeat. He walked up to her porch slowly as she walked into her home, closing the door behind him and once the door was shut no words were shared between the two of them. It was the last night Ran knew true happiness and love, and he ripped it away from himself with his neglect.

“(Y/N)?” Sanzu teased as he spun in his bar stool grabbing her waist as she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck as he smiled, kissing her neck as he pulled her closer to him. Once Ran had heard that laugh, all their memories poured in like a movie, it was their movie, young and in love, happy and short lived. “Guys, this is my special girl. (Y/N) these are my co-workers.” Sanzu said turning to face everyone as she was forced to shift with him due to his tight embrace, she smiled at all of the men giving them a slight wave but she felt her body tense up when she was met with a familiar set of eyes “Whoa, you okay there doll? Sanzu asked, rubbing her hips softly as she let out a nervous chuckle “Yeah, I’m okay. I should get ready for my shift.” She replied calmly, turning her face to kiss his cheek before walking into the back.

“So your special girl? She's one of your little playthings Sanzu?” Kakucho asked as he rested his elbow against the bar as Sanzu snickered at the accusation “Nah, I dropped all of those cheap things, she’s my girlfriend. My one and only.” Sanzu replied in his once again cheery sing-song voice as the guys shook their heads in pure disbelief. Rindo lightly patted his brother’s back because he knew the multitude of thoughts running through Ran’s head were not good, because before Ran was the girl he let get away, and she got away into the arms of a ruthless murderer, who he has to look at nearly everyday.

“First rounds on me, boys. So order up.” She said returning from the back with a small apron wrapped around her waist as the boys cheered at the bar placing their orders “Are you on the menu miss?” Sanzu teased as she winked at him “Only after hours cutie.” She replied before walking away to prepare the boys drinks. As Ran turned to Sanzu he couldn't help but feel the pull in his chest as he took note of Sanzu’s eyes, those same eyes Ran once looked at her with, the eyes of love. Only for Ran it was a love he had lost and Sanzu had gained.

“Still drink Bourbon?” (Y/N) asked placing the best glass in front of Ran as he stared at her in confusion, she let out a soft sigh before leaning over the bar to be at ear level. “Sometimes, the things the people you loved, loved, just stick with you.” She whispered as she backed away from him to give his brother a hug, causing Ran to look over at Sanzu who didn’t wear the best reaction but he was necessarily surprised towards her actions with the Haitani brothers. “Rindo told me. He told me the minute I locked eyes with her at the shopping center, and even knowing what I did, I couldn’t stop myself.

I had to understand how the great Ran Haitani could just walk away from a woman like her, and as the simple importu late night visits became late night dates, which led to actual dates, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.” Sanzu commented slowly, circling his finger around the rim of his glass “But now that I have her, I don’t care to know. She’s mine now Haitani, and even though I have a small ounce of respect for you, I will not hesitate to put a bullet through your skull if you get out of line.” Sanzu finished not once raising his voice to cause any alarm between the men, but she knew something was off as she placed her hand over Sanzu’s, and without any words spoken he immediately understood her stance as he flipped their hands over to raise her side to his lips placing a soft kiss on her skin.

“I’m behaving princess.” He said winking at her as she raised an eyebrow to scowl him but decided against it as she carefully removed her hand to attend to the others at the bar. Ran looked between her and Sanzu during their little interaction and he couldn’t help but feel the sting in his chest, as he knew once upon a time it was him giving her that look, and no one else, just her and him. But now it seems like it was nothing short of a dream.

#ran haitani #ran haitani x reader #tokyo revenger imagines #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyo revenger #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu haruchiyo imagine #sanzu haruchiyo imagines #ran haitani imagines #ran haitani imagine #tokyo manji revengers #tokyo revengers #anime imagine #anime imagines

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love-amihan · 3 years

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PLS I READ YOUR PROMISE FIC WITH JUNPEI AND IM SADDDDD 😭😭pls can you possibly do an alternate happy ending where junpei does survive or just fluff for him💓

| ʜᴏᴍᴇ | ᴊᴊᴋ | ᴀᴏᴛ | ʜǫ | ꜰɪʟᴏ | ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛs | ᴍɪᴍɪ |

TRUST // YOSHINO JUNPEI

amihan's note: you got it nonnie!! the first op scene scarred me emotionally, here's our bestboi doing his best! happy reading!

summary: itadori yuji became a huge part of yoshino junpei's life in a span of a day. junpei putting his trust on yuji resulted to a more promising future ahead of him.

bf!junpei x gn!reader

"zenin maki, panda..." mei mei says after yoshinobu asked them why they insisted on meeting with him.

aoi soon continues her words, "fushiguro megumi, kugisaki nobara, yoshino junpei, and my brother itadori yuji. these are the six, that i, by my name as todo aoi..."

mei mei fixes her hair following aoi's words, "and i, by my name mei mei" the two utters in sync declaring the goal for the meeting, "...recommend for first grade"

nobara looks back at the three boys she’s currently with, “quit being a slowpoke.” you smile at nobara, “let’s calm down now, there’s a lot of sale we haven’t check out yet.”

nobara looks back to you then at the three, she huffs and links arms with you, “you guys are lucky they’re with us or else i would’ve beaten all of you to pulp,” she excitedly walks with you to yet another store that’s having a sale.

“but they’re my partner,” junpei mutters, looking at the two’s retreating back, hand reaching out that’s full of shopping bags.

yuji chuckles at junpei’s misery, “you gotta get used to it, what’s yours is technically hers too.”

junpei’s mouth drops looking at yuji, “for real?!” the two started conversing, voices getting a bit louder. megumi walks ahead of them, blushing from embarrassment.

“junpei,” yuji nudge his side lightly, the three are ahead of them leaving them a little behind.

he hums quickly glancing at him before looking back at you again, “about the ring,” junpei halts and gives his full attention to yuji.

“what? something wrong?” the pink-haired asks, also stopping. junpei looks down, his shoulders dropping, yuji’s eyes widens.

“you-” junpei didn’t let yuji finish the sentence, just answering him with a nod for confirmation. “that’s it! we’re helping you!” yuji exclaims, full of determination.

“help with what?” megumi pipes in, hands in his pockets. “junpei’s proposal!” yuji smiles at megumi, his usual stoic face faltering after hearing the news.

junpei punches yuji’s arm lightly, blushing from the bold statement. “i’m not proposing!” he turns to megumi clearing the confusion, “it’s a promise ring.”

megumi lets out a small ‘oh.’ “what’s the difference?!” megumi rolls his eyes at his friend, “there’s a big difference.”

you appear in the scene together with nobara who’s glaring at them. “difference with what?” you skip beside junpei, giving him a small smile.

he shakes his head, nervously laughing, “it’s nothing.” you squint your eyes at him making him look away with a small blush.

you hum not wanting to push further, “wanna get ice cream?” you reach out for his hand intertwining your fingers with his.

nobara clicks her tongue, arms crossing over her chest, “boys and their stupid talks.” she turns around leading the way, “she’s extra cranky today,” yuji mutters staring at her retreating back.

you shrug, giving yuji a soft smile, “menstruation maybe?” yuji lets out an exaggerated ‘oh.’

junpei laughs a little while patting yuji on the back, “this is why you’re not popular with girls,” junpei says as yuji looks back at him.

“you’re starting to act like nobara too!” yuji looks at him, frightened. “it’s the truth,” megumi adds in and follows nobara, “and you guys are supposed to be my friends” he mumbles, looking dejected.

“at least, y/n’s nice to me.” you put on a sweet smile, “well truth hurts, yuji.” his lips forms into a pout, walking ahead not before muttering “bullies” under his breath.

the first years are summoned by satoru saying he has another mission for them, “he said it's top secret,” megumi informs them.

nobara shakes her head, “when wasn’t?” yuji soon changes the topic while making their way to ijichi's car.

“nobara’s good with planning surprises,” he says out of the blue causing for the rest of the first years to raise a brow at him.

“the promise ring,” the two boys nods in sync, understanding him. “ring?” nobara slightly tilts her head to the side.

junpei nods at her, pulling out the box from his uniform showcasing the ring. “this... for a promise ring?!” junpei rubs the back of his head.

“is it not nice for a promise ring?” nobara shakes her head, her eyes sparkling from admiration. “you might as well propose to them with this!” junpei blushes at the thought, “don’t be ridiculous, we-we’re still young!” he stutters in panic.

“oh come on, they will say yes,” she gives back the box, “no doubt about it."

junpei looks away, tucking the box back in his uniform pockets, “you never know that” he mumbles, yuji interrupts by clapping his hands together.

“we should make a plan,” in which nobara agreed on, “i’ll do it since it’s y/n.” junpei looks back at nobara and shakes his head, “you really don’t have to,” she waves her hand dismissing his statement, “i’ve already decided.”

for the second time today, you almost tripped on something while blindlessly reaching out.

yuta is doing an awful job telling you where to and not to go, “i'm so sorry y/n” he bows his head even though you’re blindfolded.

he didn’t know how he ended up being the one to assist you when he's really bad at communicating with others, “we’re almost there” he informs you.

you don’t know what to expect since there wasn’t anything special today, your birthday is still months away.

“what's with today yuta?” you face where you think he was which yuta corrects, “it won’t be a surprise anymore if i tell you.”

that didn’t stop you from trying to know until you feel one last little push, “huh? yuta?” you aimlessly try to find him until you feel someone take both your hands.

you try to retract your hands but stop once you hear a familiar voice, “it’s me,” junpei’s soft voice reaches your ears.

junpei slowly removes the blindfold off you, you blink trying to clear your blurry vision. once you did, you see all the effort and preparation put in all of this.

flower petals are thrown everywhere, fairy lights decorating the tree, to wrap it all up love songs softly playing in the background.

he's always been the romantic type and he never fails to amaze you every time, you look at him with pure adoration in your eyes.

you start to panic holding his hands, “i-is it our anniversary?!” you stumble with your words, feeling terrible for forgetting such an important milestone.

junpei shakes his head, smiling at you, “i wanna give you something, darling” you nod and wait for him to continue.

“y/n, my love. you’ve been with me through everything, may it be a pleasant or bad memories, you're always there by my side. you’ve always come to pick me back up to my feet when i'm down..." he takes a deep breath.

he continues, "what i’m trying to say is… will you grow old with me?” junpei looks into your teary eyes, “i want to be by your side until my last breath, you’re my everything y/n” he opens the box and showing the ring.

“of course i would baby,” you hold his face and close the gap between the two of you, kissing him passionately.

after pulling away, he slide the ring on your ring finger. “this is just to seal our promise, you better fulfill them” he sniffs and chuckles at his shakiness.

you lightly hit his arm while laughing, “you know that i would” he kisses the back of your hand admiring the ring.

“this is beautiful darling, you’ve always been a sweetheart” you hold his hand and look around.

“i love you” you smiled at him, “i love you more” he pecks your lips, the group coming out from their hiding spot.

clinking of glasses echoes the room accompanied by loud cheers of best wishes. yuji swings his arm around junpei who's laughing with you not long ago.

“you remember junpei?” both of you look at yuji, a little lost with his sudden outburst. “when we helped you with your first proposal?” yuji’s words are slur as he continues to rant.

“ahh that does bring back memories,” you smile at the thought, you bring your hand up and look at the ring.

“and now look at you!” yuji starts getting emotional, the alcohol may have started to kick in. “two of my best friends will get married soon,” he sniffs, tears now running down his face.

nobara laughs at drunk yuji while maki scolds him for drinking too much, it’s amazing how the group stayed together throughout the years.

even after graduating, all of them, including you knowing how they grew fond of you, making sure to stay in contact.

junpei smiles in malice, he decides to add more on yuji’s emotional state, he pats yuji’s back as megumi assists him.

“go and have your rest, best man.” yuji looks at junpei with big puppy eyes, his brain processing the information before breaking out in tears.

“be-best man?!” toge laughs in the background holding two thumbs up while panda stops maki from pouncing on toge for fuelling on junpei’s actions.

the group is already in their twenties yet one thing that never changes is how chaotic it has always been.

they really did bring out the best of junpei, you remember how he finally opens up to them and how he warmed up to the second years during the kyoto goodwill event.

it was tough for junpei at first, his experience would be best described as how yuta was treated back in his 1st year.

but the big difference is that junpei has yuji, with yuji's persistent approach and friendliness they soon take a liking of junpei.

the group feels more like a family than a bunch of friends in junpei's eyes, well for all of you.

it's a little family who you can freely express yourself to. he especially got close to toge, they talked about movies, planned pranks on the other students, they’ve made really good memories alongside each other. thus, toge’s antics rubs off on him.

you giggle and look down at the rings, it’s beautiful seeing them together.

“daddd, i’m already grown up” your child whines at junpei who’s babying him, “no, you’re not” he denies as he fixes your child’s collar.

the two of you are now married and have a child together, “come on now dad, stop that” you tease junpei, siding with your child.

the kid flashes a big smile and runs to you, jumping in your arms sticking their tongue out at him.

junpei huffs, crossing his arms and faking to be upset. “guess you won’t get ice cream later,” his tone in a sing-song manner, knowing their weakness.

the kid gasps loudly and looks at him with the most betrayed expression, their little banter is soon interrupted by a greeting.

“junpei-sensei!” one of his students greets making you smile fondly at the sight, he’s really come a long way.

his students who've always looked up to him and respected him. they never miss a chance to greet him outside the school, junpei smiles at his students greeting them in return.

this is yoshino junpei’s simple life, married to his first love, a small family with them, a supportive group of friends he made through the years, and finally a job that he loves doing.

this all happened because of the one decision he made that changed everything for the path ahead of him.

all because he put his trust on his long time friend, itadori yuji.

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flameontheotherside · 3 years

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Why I still call Erik my TF in spite of despising the TF fad

Twin flame, twin soul, soul mate, etc. It's basically the same shit. I realized that the fad is a joke for another reason. It doesn't promote authentic unconditional love. People read all these stupid "Twin Flame Signs" and use those to place conditions on people for whether or not they will love another. Most people wouldn't just love someone regardless if they meet the "criteria". That's not unconditional love.

I've changed the way I thought about all of it because even if my tf was just a demon with a heard of gold (joke) I'd still love him. Even if he were alive, I'd still love him. It's unconditional love! I lack other ways to call Erik something besides my TF. Maybe spirit spouse is okay but my relationship is kind of private in that I don't go out of my way to detail all the intimate things. I don't want people getting ideas.

The TF thing is just toxic bullshit.

I cant associate myself with the toxic people who have thier heads up thier ass but for the sake of sharing my story and my journey with my TF, unfortunately this is how it has to be. I don't do TF readings anymore or market my tarot work for that. I don't want to be part of the problem but part of the solution.

When people tell me how I should view my journey or stick thier dirty nose in my business with gaslighting, I don't listen. They behave out of ignorance and maybe fear. It's likely they haven't read my blog to gain clarity. They just want to be dickheads without two braincells to rub together.

Whether I like it or not, --Sometimes I hate it.

Erik is my Twin Flame. That's it. I've dealt with this for over 5 years. We've done so much work, I've learned so many things, I've had so many miracles happen that it would be a crime to deny it all. It would be a great failure. I have the advantage in that he's in spirit to know for certain because of all the things we've worked on in the past 5 years. Most people don't get that. Me and a handful of others with a TF in spirit know this.

I didn't believe in TFs. To me it was a joke so to have Erik tell me we're TFs was a shock. The initial shock was difficult and then I thought he could be a demon or fucking with me. In the beginning it was easy to convince myself I was just crazy. As time went on it wasn't so. Now these days I don't worry if I'm crazy but I wish I was just because some days it's hard to have a dead TF. Who wants that?

A psychic told me that he would die.

For a few days in a row back in early 2009, I was having dreams about being with some guy hovering over the earth. My whole life I felt an urge to find a guy who didn't live in my state but was in the country. I wasn't looking strictly for love. I had a sense that time was running out and I needed to find him; to protect him. The psychic knew right away what I was saying without really saying it.

It tore me apart. I cried in my closet for a long time begging for it to not be true. I had to force myself to believe the psychic was wrong. Then when I felt Erik was really dead, I slipped into a very dark place and had to again make myself believe he was still alive. I HAD TO believe he was still alive even though I felt his spirit with me and the dreams where he'd show up began. My attempted suicide happened and I really needed to believe he was alive for the sake of my own life.

Today is the anniversary of his death.

I'm not okay. All I can think of over and over is what the psychic had said to me. I remember his voice. He was a world renowned psychic and the son of one who interested me. I didn't know if I believed in psychics but I grew up an intuitive in denial. They way he said what he said cut and burned.

Was supposed to go out with my bf today but I can't leave my bed. I can't stop beating myself up. I miss Matt too. Erik told me in a dream that one of my closest friends died. It was confirmed by looking at his FB page with RIP written all over it. I followed Matt to Texas where Erik's also from. We went coincidentally on his bday. Now Matt's dead. These past two months has had me so fucked up.

😘💕 -Hadassah Monique

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fuckinuchihas · 3 years

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Hi, I have an emergency request. Tomorrow is my birthday. It is also the anniversary of my ex bf dumping me immediately after sex. He told me he hadn't loved me for months. Later that same day I also found out he had secretly been cheating on me. I found out by seeing the girl's insta. I have a history of selfharm/suicidal tendencies. Could I get a aone, suga, daichi, OR ushi (just 1) bf spending my bday w/ me so I don't feel alone/unwanted & so I don't hurt myself? I always hated my bday. Thnx!

I know you said just one, but I thought it would be a nice addition to show you how the others would treat you on your birthday too. So I did little snippets for three of the guys while you spend the day with your boyfriend, Aone.

You dread this day every year but this one seems to be even more difficult than all the others combined. You stayed awake well beyond your intention last night just overthinking every decision you’ve ever made so when you get up for the day it feels like you haven’t slept at all.

There’s texts waiting for you as you blindly walk yourself through getting something to drink, preferably with caffeine if you have it, before you actually open it up. Once you do, you see the first one is from Daichi; Happy Birthday! I’d really like to bring you breakfast when you wake up, just let me know when is good for you.

You almost say no, pushing people away is the normal way you deal with things, but there’s something about seeing his disappointed face that encourages you to send a quick, ‘I’m awake now’ text back.

You text with him while preparing your drink and soon he shows up with a bag filled with two of your favorite breakfast sandwiches and a couple muffins.

He says he can’t stay long but he wanted to see your smile and as hard as it is to do, you find a way to give him that. It’s as sincere as you can possibly offer and he understands.

Aone just shows up at your door in the middle of the day with a picnic basket and he offers you his hand.

You hesitate but you take it and he leads you to a small field where he has a blanket on the ground and a small bouquet of your favorite flower. You feel your face warm slightly but he mistakes it for the chill of the breeze and quickly offers you his jacket which only flusters you further but it’s warm and it smells like him so you hold it as tight against your face as you can.

He’s brought some of your favorite snacks along with an actual entree he made himself. It��s so thoughtful and kind that you have a hard time not just tearing up because someone actually cares enough about you to go through all this trouble just to make your day feel a little better.

Because while you might not have given him all the details, Aone knows this day is hard for you so he wants to distract you as much as possible.

You’re kind of still partially full from the food Daichi brought for you but you eat a little more with his encouragement and you find it all tastes amazing and you make sure to tell him that.

Aone doesn’t talk much but you enjoy one another’s company beyond words. His presence is overwhelming for some but you like the way you feel smaller with him. You like the way he lets you talk when you want to but also doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence if conversation lapses for a while.

He loves you how you always hoped someone would and no one ever did.

He loves you in the silences, in the dark, in the empty hollow parts of you that you can’t seem to forget no matter how hard you try. Sometimes he just holds your hand, kisses your wrist, and you know exactly what he’s saying.

He’s saying thank you, thank you for staying here for me.

Thank you for being alive.

Thank you for loving me.

Because he said it that night, the night you told him. He said those words as tears slid freely down his cheeks. The thought of you being in so much pain had hit him harder than you expected but he showed no hesitation in letting you see how important you were to him. He didn’t hide away and save the tears for later, he just let himself be raw and vulnerable right along with you.

It was probably that moment that you realized you loved him.

You start to tear up thinking about that night again, and he wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you in a bit closer to shield you from the wind. He drops a kiss to your head and softly whispers, “Thank you for letting me celebrate your birthday. I’m so happy you were born.”

“Love you, Aone.”

“And I you.”

Once you pack everything up, Aone walks you back to your small apartment and you start to feel a coldness seeping inside you at the thought of him leaving.

He doesn’t though.

He waits at your door seeking permission to come in the same way he always does and you don’t hesitate to invite him inside.

“Don’t you have plans?” you ask, because you don’t want him to sacrifice his whole day just to spend time with you.

“You’re my plan.”

Your eyes go wide and he quickly realizes what that could sound like and he backs away a few steps. “Spending time with you, is my plan. I don’t have any other plans.”

There’s a slight flush to his cheeks and you want to comment on it but you don’t want to make him feel more embarrassed. “Oh, okay. Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

He nods in agreement so you turn something on as a distraction.

Before the movie is over you have two waiting texts, one from Ushijima that says he hopes you’re doing well today and that he wishes you a happy birthday. It’s a bit dry, he can be that way sometimes but you know he’s never insincere with his words so you quickly send back a thank you.

The other is Suga asking if you feel up to a vid call later because he misses your cute face and he’s sorry he couldn’t make it over this morning with Daichi because he had to work but he asks you to hang out later this week to ‘celebrate properly’. He also mentions that Aone is welcome to tag along of course, but he wants pictures throughout the day to make sure you’re actually being taken care of on your birthday, not that he doubts your silent king in the least. But as intimidating as Aone is, Sugawara would absolutely fight him if he wasn’t physically there in person taking care of you.

You shake your head at him but send back a photo of the two of you cuddled together on the couch and he breathes a sigh of relief when he gets it. You also say yes to the vid call but you make him promise to keep it short because you don’t want to split your time for too long,

Aone deserves a hundred percent of your attention and affection.

Most of the rest of the day is kind of the same. You watch a couple movies, have that quick call with Sugawara when he’s done with work for the day, and you sit cuddled up with the man you love.

When it gets dark and evening rolls around Aone does ask that you eat some more and offers to get takeout but there’s still plenty of food left from the picnic so you wave him off and you both eat reheated leftovers.

It gets late and you can feel the air around you tense a little and you’re not sure why.

Normally you’d let it go, let it pass...but Aone looks like he’s struggling to say something.

“Is everything okay?” you ask, pausing the movie to look up at him.

“I-” he swallows. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “You never make me uncomfortable,” you say, because he doesn’t, never has. He’s always felt like safety and home.

“I would like to stay. I’m not asking for anything...improper. I just, I don’t want to leave you tonight.”

It’s the least eloquent you’ve ever seen him. He rarely speaks in long sentences but when he does they’re usually well put together and thought out. Clearly this must have been weighing on him for a while.

“Aone, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to,” you say, then you look up into his eyes. The eyes that hold depths of softness and warmth. The eyes everyone overlooks when they take in his stature, the eyes that betray his intimidating appearance. When his gaze flicks back to yours, you calmly, truthfully respond, “I trust you.”

He hugs you tighter to his chest and kisses you softly on the head.

He pulls back only to smile down at you like you’re the most amazing thing in the world before he squeezes you against him again.

It’s one of the hundreds, no thousands of ways he regularly tells you he loves you.

“Love you too, ‘One.”

MASTERLIST

#not naruto #not knb #haikyuu!!#kel answers #birthday anon #aone takanobu x you #aone takanobu headcanons #aone takanobu x reader

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eatsleepbreathefutbol · 4 years

Text

Wedding

This was inspired by Disney Fairytale weddings, I have been obsessed with that show recently. In this imagine I’m using names of his family. Like DeeDee is his older sister, Kelley is his mom, and Will his cousin. I’m thinking of making a three part wedding series for him, this one will be the first part of it which will be the getting ready for the ceremony.

So today was the day, the day where you and Christian were getting married. You were at the Grand Floridian getting ready with your mom, DeeDee, Kelley, Y/BF/N who was your maid of honor, and the rest of your bridal party.

Chris had sent Will over to your room to give you a little gift before the wedding to ease your nerves. When Will walked in the stylist was doing your makeup, and he walks in with a little wooden box he hands it to you and gives you the instructions “So cousin in law, I was given strict instructions to give you, Christian told me to give you the box and your only allowed to open one of the parts of the gifts today while you finish getting ready” before Will leaves he gives Y/BF/N a kiss since he was her boyfriend, that was the one thing you loved about the relationship that you had a couple to go on double dates with.

You open the envelope that was on top of the lid of the wooden box, that read open on our wedding day, when you opened the envelop you find a folded piece of paper and open it to find it was a letter:

Dear Y/N,

I don’t know how to start this off mamas, but I can tell you that I am very excited to get married to you. I’m probably trying to fight the urge to run to you and kiss you now, I probably put Will and Weston on Christian Watch as corny as it sounds but it’s probably necessary. I’m excited to be that hubby that will be at the end of the aisle crying while you walk down the aisle because I can’t believe that I’m marrying such a beautiful, caring and wonderful woman like you but most of all because Mrs. Christian Mate Pulisic is walking towards me to proof to the audience our profound love for each other. I can’t wait til the day where we have a mini version of you or me running around the house while you’re on the couch holding our other child watching Frozen II for like the millionth time.

I knew you were my other half on our first year anniversary, when you moved in with me. I knew that I wanted to keep waking up next to you, with you in my arms. By the time we were together for a year and half I was already imagining what it’d be like if we were to have kids and how they would look like, if mini you would get her good looks from me and mini me would have the tennis skills his mama has or his dad’s soccer skills. I can assure you the time we took time apart was the worst part of my life, because I can’t see my life without you. I just know that I’m ready to conquer whatever obstacle comes towards us, because it’ll be you and me for the rest of our lives ‘until death of us part’.

I’m so happy that we’re getting married at the most magical place in the world, a place that has a special place in our hearts, a place that brought us even closer for our 2nd year anniversary trip. I know you’ve always wanted to get married in front of Cinderella’s castle in Magic kingdom, because it’s one of your favorite places and because of your obsession with Disney Fairytale Wedding. Well babe you’ve got your fairytale ending, with e as your Prince Charming, and fairytale wedding. I hope I didn’t make you cry, because if I did your makeup is probably ruined by now but to me it wouldn’t matter because I love you and all of your phases.

Well I should stop rambling on so you can finish getting ready, can’t wait to see you at the end of the altar Mrs. Y/N Y/MN Pulisic.

Your loving soon to be husband,

Christian Pulisic

After you had finish reading the letter to the people in the room, you hadn’t noticed the happy tears streaming down your face, Kelley was excited that you were going to be her daughter-in-law. Your mom was in tears, happy at the thought that her daughter had found her soulmate. You were excited to open the wooden box that was still on your lap, when you open the box you see different envelopes. You start flipping through them reading each envelope:

Open when we enter our house as a married couple

Open when you’re getting ready for the first home game as my wife

Open when I’m at the first away game as your husband

Open when you miss me

Open when you feel insecure

Open when you need a good laugh

Open when we’ve had our first fight as a married couple

Open when you’re on a flight back home

Open when it’s a rainy day in London

Open when you find out your pregnant

Open when we’re at the hospital holding our first child

The envelopes seemed to have been written by someone else other than Christian, because the handwriting was neat and not sloppy. You had not expected a gift like this, but you had sent Y/BF/N to give him a gift you had gotten him. For the bride to groom gift exchange you had done a little DIY flip book with 45 reasons why you want to marry him, cuffs initialed with C+Y/I and a scrapbook filled with polaroids you had taken while you guys were dating. The hair stylist decided to give you a little break so you can look at your gifts, she decided to do one of your bridesmaids hair while waiting for you to finish, when you were finishing looking at the envelope Y/BF/N comes back in with another gift Christian had sent you. Chris had sent you a shot glass along with a bottle of tequila, so you would take a shot before leaving for Magic Kingdom, and a necklace locket that had both of your initials in it.

You had taken the shot Christian had sent along with two flukes of champagne, right now the hairstylist was finishing your hair while everyone was in awe with how cute you guys were for giving each other little gifts. The stylist had finished and now you were off to make up, your look was more of a natural/nudish color scheme. When the makeup stylist was done, you were off to the bathroom getting ready to slip on your wedding dress.

Your mom and Y/BF/N were helping you put on the dress, putting on the dress just reminded you of how many dresses you had to try on before finding the perfect one. Pnina Tornai in your opinion was the best wedding dress designer, and you loved all her dresses so you had to get one of her gowns. When you walked out to show DeeDee, Kelley, and your bridal party everyone was literally in awe and tears at how gorgeous you looked with the final product. You were ready to be married to the love of your life!

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic imagines #christian pulisic imagine #football imagine #football imagines #futbol imagine #futbol imagines #soccer imagines #chelsea fc imagines

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trashinaglass-archive · 5 years

Text

Hurt

Y/n gets hurt on set

Request: helloo, i loveee ur works. and i was just wondering if i could request a tom holland imagine where the reader is working on a movie set and gets hurt in a stunt accident and tom, the reader bf flys our from britain to the hospital (where ever the film location is - you decide!) and he takes care of her. a little bit angsty and fluffy if that’s not too much trouble? thank u lovely xxxx

Warnings: Motorbike accident

A/n: In a single day, I accidentally punched the corner of a door, bruising my knuckles and thought something was broken for a sec, and then a few hours later I stubbed my toe which ripped my entire nail off, and then a few hours later I sliced my arm open while I was shaving. Pain and hurt is a very acquainted topic at the moment😬

(Tom on his way to save you after hearing you’ve been hurt)

Being an actress is fun, they said. It’s really easy, they said. But no one said that something like this could happen.

You were filming a movie in Atlanta- an action film alongside some amazing actors and filmmakers. This was the first film where you were able to do some pretty cool stunts on your own. You loved what you were able to do thus far, but you weren’t prepared for what would happen in just a few moments.

You were doing a stunt where your character was getting chased by the bad guys- they were in Range Rovers while you were on a motorcycle. This was the first time you had ever driven one. The company paid for you to get lessons so you could get comfortable and be able to do it yourself because they wanted you to do it, not a stunt double.

You were steering your bike down the road until you realized something was wrong. The gas pedal was stuck in it’s position and not letting up. You pressed the break to try to slow down, but the break wasn’t working either. You were gradually building speed, with no way to stop, and you didn’t know what to do.

You started to yell out alerting the crew of the situation. They tried to tell you what to do, but you couldn’t understand what they were saying. You ultimately lost control of the bike and crashed to the ground, hitting your head on the concrete and rolling. You were also hit by one of the cars that wasn’t able to stop in time.

You remember feeling shocked and tired before your eyes closed. The next time you opened your eyes, you were in an ambulance being rushed to the nearest hospital. You felt dazed and confused, unsure of what was going on. You were only certain of one thing- pain. You felt pain in every inch of your body.

One of the EMT’s noticed you were awake and started to ask you questions- who you are, what you do, what year it is, who your parents are, etc. Thankfully you didn’t have any kind of amnesia.

“Is there someone we can call for you? Any family?” she asked you.

“My boyfriend, Tom,” you rasped out before giving her his number. You arrived to the hospital and were taken back for tests and, ultimately, an emergency surgery.

// Tom pov //

Tom was hanging out in his and Harrison’s shared flat when he got the call.

“Mr. Holland?” He heard a deep, male voice ask.

“Yes?” He asked confused.

“This is Dr. Kalu from Atlanta Medical Center. Y/n has just arrived to the ER by ambulance. She’s stable, but she has been rushed into emergency surgery. Is there anything we need to know? Allergies, health problems, anything?”

“She’s allergic to bactrim, but that’s it. What happened?” Tom replied quickly. He began to feel panicked- he didn’t know what put you in the hospital or what the injuries were. He immediately sat at his computer and began to pull the first ticket to Atlanta.

“There was an accident on a film set, that��s all I can say right now. I would suggest you get here soon though,” the doctor said before hanging up. Tom had found a ticket leaving for Atlanta today in just four hours. He ordered the ticket and ran to his room, shoving random clothes into a bag before running to Harrison’s room.

Harrison and the twins were sat in the room talking about some project they were working on together. They went from happy to worried with one look at Tom’s face.

“Something happened, and y/n’s hurt- I’m flying to Atlanta right now,” he spit out before running for the door. He heard the boys yelling at him, asking for details or something. Tom didn’t stop to listen or pay attention.

He made it to the airport and to his gate as quickly as possible before there was nothing more for him to do but wait. He sat in the chair and pulled out his phone, starting to text you. He felt like he was in a dream- you couldn’t really be hurt.

Thomas❤️: y/n, please answer me. Let me know you’re okay. I don’t know what’s going on and it’s scaring me.

He knew if what the doctor said was true, he wouldn’t be receiving a text back anytime soon, but he could only hope.

Tom sent three more texts before he gave up. He put his head in his hands and tried not to cry. This was the worst possible situation he could think of- you getting hurt a thousand miles away from him and having no clue what happened or what state you’re in.

After waiting for an hour, Tom boarded the plane. Nine hours to get to you. He sat back in his seat, put his headphones in and willed himself to fall asleep.

Tom woke to the turbulence and announcement that they are close to landing. After the plane touched ground and stopped at the gate, Tom was immediately out of his seat and headed for the door of the plane. He got several strange looks from other passengers, but he didn’t pay them any mind.

Tom rushed into the airport, grabbing his bags before he found a taxi service. He told the man he needed to get to the hospital quickly, and they ushered him to a cab and took off. It wasn’t a long trip before he arrived, paying the man, and practically running into the hospital.

“Y/n,” he gave your name to the lady at the front desk before she could even greet him. “Where is she?” He watched as she typed on her computer, finding your name and room number. Tom going to the elevator and finding your room.

He went to open the door right as it opened from inside. Tom stepped back as he saw a doctor coming out of your room.

“Are you Tom?” The man asked.

“Yeah,” he answered before his waterfall of questions poured out. “What happened to y/n? Why is she here? Is she going to be okay?”

“I was told she was involved in a motorbike accident on the film set. She broke a few facial bones and suffered a concussion. She has a few broken ribs, one of which punctured her lung so we had to do surgery to repair that. Her legs and arms are covered in roadrash,” the doctor told him. Tom felt his heart sink hearing everything that you had endured. “She’s extremely lucky. Hearing what I did about the accident, she could have ended up a lot worse.”

“Is she awake? Can I see her?” Tom asked.

“She’s asleep- still under from the anesthesia, should be awake in a few minutes. You’re more than welcome to sit with her.” Tom nodded his head. “Let us or the nurses know if there’s anything we can do for either of you,” the doctor said before walking away.

Tom looked at the door, preparing himself before walking into the room. He saw you laying in the bed on your back, a small tube connected to your arm. He pulled a chair right next to your bed and sat down next to you. He found your hand and brought it to his mouth, placing a kiss to the back of it. He continued to hold your hand in his as he reached a free hand to your head, stroking your hair.

He felt a tear fall as he looked at you. Almost the entire left side of your face was cut and bruised, a decent sized cut going across your temple and down your cheek. He brought his hand back down from your head and held your single hand with both of his. He felt more tears in his eyes as he noticed the ring on your finger. He had given it to you as an anniversary gift- you were suppose to take it off when filming, but this time you didn’t.

He sat like that for the next ten minutes before you began to wake up. Tom squeezed your hand as he watched you, standing up to look at you properly. You felt pain all over, before you even opened your eyes. But when you did, you found yourself face to face with Tom.

“Tommy,” you said in a hoarse whisper, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Hey, darling,” Tom replied. “You really know how to scare the shit out of me, don’t you.”

The doctor came in, in that moment. “Hi, y/n. I’m Dr. Kalu. How are you feeling?”

“Horrible,” you told him.

“That’s what I was expecting. We’re going to give you some pain medicine, and we want to keep you for a while just to observe and make sure you’re healing correctly before we let you go. Is there anything I can get you before I leave?” He asked looking at you.

“Can I have some water?” You asked him.

“I’ll get the nurses to get you some. Anything else? Tom?”

“I’m fine,” Tom told the doctor, who nodded his head.

“Alright, I’ll check back in with you soon,” Dr. Kalu said before leaving. You looked back at Tom to see him already looking at you.

“When did you get here?” You asked him.

“About 15 minutes ago, maybe? The doctor called me and said you were hurt, and I was on the next flight out. You have no idea how scared I was.” Tom stopped talking as a nurse walked in with some water. “Thank you,” Tom told her. “What happened?” He asked you, wanting to know first hand how you got here.

“We were doing a scene with me on a motorcycle, some cars behind me. I don’t know what happened, but I just lost control of the bike, and next thing you know, I’m coming down,” you explained to him. “Do I look horrible?” You asked him. He softly chuckled at your question.

“A little bruised up, but you’re still the most beautiful girl in the world,” Tom told you, causing you to roll your eyes at him.

“Thank you for being here,” you told him. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t.”

“I’ll always be here for you. It doesn’t matter where you are- if you need me, I’ll find you,” Tom promised as he bend down to kiss your head, being as gentle as possible.

. . .

Two days later, you were still in the hospital, but not by yourselves anymore. You heard a knock at your door and saw the twins walk in with ‘get well soon’ balloons, flowers, stuffed animals, and McDonald’s.

“I said one flower arrangement- maybe a balloon, but not the whole fucking store. And why do you have McDonald’s?” Tom asked as he saw the goods in his brothers arms.

“Hear me out,” Sam started. “This is from me, this is from Harry, these are from Paddy, this is from Mum, this is from Dad, these are from Tessa, this is from Harrison, and these are from the grandparents.” He showed you the different items as he told you who they were from. You weren’t sure how that worked, but you thought it was super cute.

“And we figured you’d be sick of the hospital food so we got you this too,” Harry said holding up the bag of food before placing it on the table beside you.

“Thanks guys,” you told them.

“So how are you feeling? Is it still as bad as it was when it happened?” Sam asked you.

“It hurts, but they have me on some good pain killers so it’s manageable. I just wish I could be in my own bed.”

“Paddy wanted us to tell you that he hopes you feel better. He wanted to come visit too but school,” Harry told you.

“Bless,” You said. “He’s a good kid.”

“What’s your plan for when you get out of here?” Harry asked.

“Straight home,” you told him. “I won’t be doing much of anything for a while, and filming has been halted for the foreseeable future. I can’t wait to get out of here.”

“I bet, I would hate being stuck in here,” Sam replied. “Are you going to be staying at your place or hers when you two get home?” He asked Tom.

“Hers,” Tom said while gesturing his head towards you.

“Did you really have to ask to know that answer?” You said teasingly.

“True,” Sam said with a nod.

“What? You got severely injured and put in the hospital when I was far away from you,” Tom started to say. “You can bet your sweet ass I’m not leaving you for as long as I can manage.”

Hearing Tom’s words made your heart flutter. You couldn’t imagine how scared he was to hear that you had been hurt- you knew if it were the other way around, you would have been terrified.

“Well, it’s getting late. We’re gonna head out, see you two tomorrow,” Harry said as him and Sam got up, gingerly hugging you and heading out.

You looked at Tom again as the twins closed the door. “Will you lay with me?” You asked him. You feel like, even though he was right next to you, he was so far away. You needed to be close to him.

“I don’t want to hurt you, love,” he said, not moving from his seat.

“You won’t, just lay on this side. Please? I deserve a cuddle,” you practically begged him. He sighed knowing he wouldn’t win. He stood up, walking to the other side of the bed as you scoot over to make room for him.

He sat on the bed next to you and laid back, arms open. You laid your body next to his- your head resting against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, trying to be as gentle as possible. You felt Tom press a kiss to your forehead as you closed your eyes, falling into a deep, welcomed sleep.

I... loved... this!! Thank you for the request.

Also, Dr. Kalu is based off a doctor from The Good Doctor- a hunk👌🏽

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland blurb #tom holland x reader

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ongfreestyle · 5 years

Text

Coffee and College

A Jaehyun college coffee bullet au that ZERO people asked for

So anyway, you're in your second year of college and you're in the groove of things (kinda) and all is well

You're on your way to your 9am French I class on the first day and you feel your phone vibrating

It's your bf and you smile thinking "aaww it's our 3yr anniversary n he's calling already to say good morning"

More like... goodbye

Yep. 8:45am he calls you to dump you in the driest most uncool way

"listen. I just ... I know this is random, but....I don't wanna do this anymore."

"oh. Uh. What? Sorry I didn't hear you?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore I want to break up with you. I'm sorry."

"oh. Ok. Fine. Sure. Umm...if you wanna talk about it later. Then...yeah..I have French class now bye."

End of call and start of class

Yep you're third row from the back and you plan to pay attention to the syllabus talk and following lesson but

You're definitely tearing up

Like literally WHO DOES THAT?? Just dumps you at 8am no explanation??

So anyways there are teardrops on your notes now and ink isn't tear proof so...rip

Anyways thirty minutes in and your head in kinda just down and you're kinda just crying quietly

And then this kid slides into the seat next to you

He's v late

And v cute even through the tears

And he's smiling really big even though the teacher just scolded him

He sets his coffee down and looks at you wiping snot and tears away and he hands you a napkin from his bag

You take it and mutter a "thanks"

And a moment later he slides his coffee to you too

"I didn't drink it yet"

"it's an espresso, extra caffeine"

"I made it myself"

And he's back to taking notes

And you're still kinda pouting, but it's been 45+ mins so you try to at least write down the homework assignment

And you decide to sip the stupid espresso it's actually pretty good

The next day you find yourself at the school cafeteria and guess who it is??

Espresso boy!!

And it turns out that he's even cuter in uniform!

You go to order some food and he greets you with a big smile

"feeling better today?"

"kinda"

"rough day yesterday, huh?"

"yeah. Can I have a breakfast burrito?"

"no coffee?"

"no, but thanks for the free coffee yesterday. It helped. I owe you one"

"no you don't, it's on the house. And so the one I'm about to make you next. It's today's special!"

Who are you to deny another free coffee? So you take his offer and a few minutes later you're at your table eating your breakfast and doing your French homework

And the special coffee is really good

Then one of your friends comes by and is giving you a weird look

"are you drinking the nasty coffee from the cafeteria??"

"yep. Its actually really good"

And your friend's like ??? "It's usually bitter and gross tho ?? Like 10 times outta 10"

And you shrug and get back to work and your friend grabs some food and starts doing their work too

The day goes on and finally you get some time to yourself to think about yesterday

Your ex hasn't called or texted. Nothing. And it just hits you like wow. I'm. Single.

Cool.

Except not cool because you got no closure or explanation and ouch.

So you hate it but just like yesterday, you're crying again. Just. Uglier crying.

And your roommate comes back and is like "awww sweetie, fuck him"

And she says if you wipe your face she'll take you out for ice cream

So fuck the snot and tears, you want some damn ice cream

And out you go!!

Free ice cream you two stop at a park on campus and there's a basket game going on

And your roommate is like SKSSKDJS "LOOK IT'S JOHNNY SKSJDJ"

English??

"that means holy shit it's the hottest tallest nicest guy in school and he's playing basketball look at his ARMS BITCH"

So guess who's watching a pickup game of bball while eating ice cream?

You two!

Oh and guess who else is playing and is red and sweaty and had a nice jump shot?

Coffee boy.

Yup and you might not be interested in the Score, but dammit the view was nice

The game ends and Johnny is the first to come over to the side lines n greet your roommate

She's batting her eyelashes and telling him he did amazing even tho they lost

And he's smiling and chugging water as he goes on talking and coffee boy and a few of his friends are on the sidelines now looking at you

Coffee Boy is the first to say hi and all you can do is say hi back

And thank him for the coffee again

He shrugs, "no problem. Coffee fixes almost everything in college"

Almost everything. And there's an awkward silence

"see you around." He says and he walks away

Like that you never find out his name and life moves on

French class is going well and you sit in the front now and coffee boy is always late and sits in the back

You really don't do anything except exchange glances

Then midterms are coming up and you are a bit panicked bc u definitely neglected French studies

So like any good college student you cram like hell

In the library at midnight you're trying to learn vocabulary, conjugations, grammar points

You look insane by 1am bit you can't stop then you hear someone coming I'm the library

It's (literally if you can guess by now) coffee boy

And he's got 4 coffee cups in a holder with him and a huge backpack

He spots you and waves

"mind if I sit with you?"

"mind if I claim two of the coffees?"

"there all yours" and he sits next to you and slides the holder to you just like when you first met

"I made them myself"

"so you make these awesome brews?"

"yeah the schools coffee recipe is shitty."

"well maybe you should major in business and open a coffee shop. They're really good."

"maybe I will"

And you two study quietly and you peek over to see him going over French vocab

"let's quiz each other?"

"sure"

And it's 2am and you guys realize you're both fukced

Like. No vocab is sticking and the coffee had you two literally SHAKING

And by 3am you guys are just cracking up

"I never learned your name coffee boy"

"Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun."

"well. Good luck with the test tomorrow because I. Give. Up."

And you get up to leave and he offers to walk you home and you accept for safety reasons

"I'm glad to see you so happy. You're pretty like that."

"I'm an ugly crier, huh"

"kinda."

"okay, not the gentleman answer, but I admire your honesty"

"thanks. I hope you have a good night"

Yeah the walk back was not long at all. Too bad because you really were enjoying your time

But 9am French !!!

Midterms are over after a week and it's back to the daily grind

But days are way better when you have French now bc Jaehyun sits next to you (when he's on time and the seats open) and you guys joke around alot during speaking practice

He's brings you a new coffee everyday and asks you how it tastes and what he should add or take away

And you kinda hang out at the cafeteria now so you can talk to him while he's working

Ooppsss you have developed a small™ crush on Jaehyun and it's not going away anytime soon

You even open up to him about why you crying the day you met (tho u vowed to NVR speak of it again)

Yeah now the crush is nvr dying :)))

Bc your friends notice that you always go watch him play b-ball even tho it's not a REAL game

And he always has a coffee for you

And you two are always studying French

But like...you guys are making questionable grades...so...what's up??

NOTHING

French I finals are coming and you and Jaehyun are at your usual spot in the library, except this time YOU bought HIM coffee

"what brand ?"

"gross school brand that you didn't make, but is LOADED with caffeine"

"gross. Hand me one"

"cheers!"

And it's study time

But he's not focused

Like he never is and neither are you, but it's really off now

"is it that bad?"

"the coffee? Yeah. And my French grade? It's even worse. I won't make French 2."

And you're like WTF WTF NO FRENCH 2 WITH JAEHYUN YOUR CRUSH WHO LITERALLY GOT YOU THRU THIS SEMESTER ????

"Jaehyun. We are going to fix your grade with this final. I SWEAR."

You're like REAL STUDY MODE: ON

And he has this small smile on his face.

Sly....

"what?"

"you WANT me in your French 2 class don't you?"

"uuhhh-duhh free coffee to keep me up during le snooze fest"

"you know it's not free. It comes outta my pay check"

"okay, then I owe it to you to get you to pass this class and get to French 2"

"I guess."

Yeah. You're DRILLING info into ur heads ,,,, but Jaehyun is like ____ blank.

So you kinda snap

"yo do u wanna fail??? At least TRY!"

"I can't focus. I'm confused about something."

"past tense conjugations?"

"you."

Pause.

"I can't tell if you're over your ex. You took it hard and I'm trying to wait, but..."

???????????

"my ex? My ex is my ex...I'm over that"

"you never really brought it up much. I wouldn't know."

"Past tense."

"and also. The coffee."

"your coffee is good! I'm serious, Jaehyun!"

"yeah, but do like me...? Or my coffee?"

"both?"

Jaehyun is not making this easy for you okay

"I mean, if I didn't bring you coffee, would you still hang with me? Teach me French n stuff?"

"of course."

"so you...........like......me?"

HELL YES, but you settle for a simple yep

Then he just looks at you seriously

"you LIKE me LIKE me..like....LIKE LIKE?"

"uuhh...if I understood all of the likes right, then....yeah. I do like you."

OH AND THAT DOES IT

He is so reeeeeedddd

Like this boy GONE

You. His crush. Likes. Him. Wtf

Yeah he cannot quit grinning

And when you move on from the topic he can't focus on a single word you're saying

Finals day comes and you feel okay about your score and Jaehyun said he wants to leave it in the past

And you two go hang out at the cafeteria

And he's looking at you across the table

Randomly he just smiles at you

"I..wanna be your boyfriend...."

bc y'all nvr because s/o's officially soooo

Your heart rate

Lemme draw it

/\/\/\/\_______💀

Wow

He said it so cutely

Damn that's crazy bc you would love if he was your bf

And when you say that!!

Reference to drawing

After becoming official you two are like the cutest couple ever

And you go to French 2 and he's back in French 1

He got a 58 on the final :/

But OH WELL you're his tutor now

And you guys actually study

And he doesn't feel like he has to bribe you with coffee to make you like him

So with some hard work you both kick your caffeine addictions

And you guys spend the days making stupid jokes and playing basketball together

Cramming for French while high on 4 coffees each

(old habits die hard)

And you two tease each other so much

It's a miracle you get any work done really

Jaehyun passes his French 1 class with an A+ and he literally runs to your dorm to tell you

You crash into each other

He holds you to steady you

And hes like "babe I passed"

"that's great!"

"it's all thanks to you I could kiss you, but I have coffee breath and-"

"that's nothing new"

Okay and cue the totally cheesy kiss

Where Jaehyun's like "you're right, but our first kiss should be special"

Valentine Boy is a ROMANTIC okay

But it doesn't matter

You can't resist leaning in

And he lets out a fake groan like he hasn't been dying to kiss you since he first saw u snotting all over your notes

Yep he liked you then.

And the lean in was so slow, but when your lips met it was worth it

And the coffee taste.... wasn't so bad anyway

#nct #jaehyun #jaehyun scenario #nct scenario #its 3am #wowo #no proof resd #yikes

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mrsevans1328 · 6 years

Text

#10: “Are you upset with me?” //Shawn Mendes Fic

Request: @cave2687

Summary: Reader and Shawn have been having some issues lately. Shawn has been very distant with Reader. Will they make up and stay together? Or is this the beginning of the end for them?

**Note: Hey everyone, I’m sorry it took me so long to get this posted. I’ve been having a rough time lately, and honestly haven’t been in the mood to do pretty much anything. But I promised you guys I would get these written, so I’m trying to push through. Also, this story-line hits close to home for me, so it was really difficult to write certain parts of this. I hope you enjoy! Love you all xxx

Word count: 4,167

Prompt Masterlst

“I Want you close to me, I want you close, I want you closer.

But when you’re here with me, it’s hard to tell just what you’re after.

You say you want all of me today,

But tomorrow’s not the same. My feelings never change.

What do you want from me? What do you want, huh?

I need to know, if this is mutual,

Before I go, and get way too involved.

I want you bad, can you reciprocate?

No I don’t want to have to leave, but half of you is not enough for me.

This inconsistency, what does it mean? You have me questioning,

The way you act and take it back. Do I mean anything?

Just tell me honestly.

You say, you want all of me today,

But tomorrow’s not the same. My feelings never change.

What do you want from me? What do you want, huh?

I need to know, if this is mutual,

Before i go, and get way too involved.

I want you bad, can you reciprocate?

No I don’t want to have to leave, but half of you is not enough for me.

Are you playing me? Is this a game?

When you show up late, say love at 2 am.

Then you tell me you can’t stay. Oh, yeah

What do you want from me?

Baby, oh I need to know, if this is mutual,

Before I go, and get too involved.

I want you bad baby, can you reciprocate?

No I don’t want to have to leave, but half of you is not enough for me.”

The last chord fades in the room, your fingers still gripping the neck of your guitar while you wait nervously to hear y/bf/n’s reaction to the song you just wrote. As soon as you finished it, you called her and asked to sing it for her, knowing she will give you the honest truth.

“What’s it called, y/n?” she asks through the other line, you phone sitting next to the sheet music you have spread all over the bed in front of you.

You chew on the corner of your lip in thought, “I haven’t decided 100 percent yet, but I’m liking the name Mutual.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but this song is honestly one of the best you’ve written. I just hate that you are going through this in order to have the inspiration for it.” Y/bf/n says after a few minutes of silence.

You sigh, the thought of Shawn’s recent behavior causing you to have major anxiety. He’s been very distant with you. Coming home late, going right to sleep and leaving before you wake up in the morning. You try to talk to him, but he never seems to be interested in conversation, so you gave up trying. You’d spend many nights awake, unable to sleep, trying to figure out why he’s acting like this. Making yourself sick to your stomach with thoughts like “Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore, and doesn’t want to tell me”, or “Maybe he’s cheating on me, maybe he found someone better than me.” Even just thinking of the possibilities makes your eyes water and throat clog up.

The front door closing shut, breaking you from your little pity party. Shawn’s home early, ish. It’s almost midnight, but he normally hasn’t been getting home until around 2 am. Maybe even later.

Scrambling to clean up the scattered papers on the bed before Shawn reaches the bedroom, “Hey, he just got home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?” Y/bf/n answers with a quick “Sure,” before you say bye and hang up.

You just manage to get the papers shoved under the bed and sit back on the bed with the guitar on your lap when the bedroom door opens, Shawn walking in. You try to act casual, like you have been sitting there just fiddling with your favorite guitar, a cherry red acoustic, plucking random chords.

“Still practicing?” It’s been forever since you’ve heard that raspy voice that when he asked you that question, you didn’t know how to react, shock coursing through you. When you and Shawn first met, you were a back-up dancer for Taylor Swift on her tour. You two hit it off pretty easily, being only a few months apart from each other in age. Shawn’s tour manager wanted Shawn to do more dancing in his opening performances for Taylor, but Shawn couldn’t dance to save his life. So you agreed to teach him to dance for his next tour, if he agreed to teach you how to play guitar. One thing led to another, and now you have been together for 2 years. Your anniversary is tomorrow, or rather today since it’s past midnight at this point.

Finally finding your voice, you manage to stutter out a reply of, “Oh.. uh, ye-yeah. Got n-nothing better to d-do.” Frowning at your own actions, you scold yourself for stuttering. You only stutter when you speak to people you aren’t comfortable around or don’t know that well, or when your anxiety is high. He’s your boyfriend, he shouldn’t feel like a stranger.

Peeking at Shawn, you notice his body stiffen at your stuttered words, taking mental note of the small crinkles between his brows before they vanish, as if they were never there to begin with. After a few moments, he continues to change clothes, acting like nothing just happened. It hurt to think that he didn’t care enough to ask what was wrong.

You feel the back of your eyes burn with tears, but before you can let them spill, you stand and put the guitar back on the rack hanging from the wall of the room. “H-How’s the album c-coming along?” You ask, trying to make small talk, the tension in the air suffocating you.

“Huh?” Shawn raises an eyebrow before realization hitting him, “Oh, the new album. Um, its fine.” Shawn’s sentences are choppy, cut short and dry. The lack of emotion in his voice causing your fragile heart to squeeze in your chest. You take that as your que to stop talking, his disinterest in the conversation obvious.

“I- uh, I’m gonna go watch a movie or something in the living room. That way I-I’m not bothering you while you sleep..” Your voice trails off at the end, not knowing what to do or say anymore. You see him sink onto the bed, giving you a small grunt in reply. As you’re walking out the door, you turn the light off for him and mumble under your breath, “Happy anniversary.” a single tear slipping down your cheek. You weren’t expecting him to reply, even if he could hear you, so you don’t bother to stick around waiting for one.

“Such a great start to what is supposed to be a happy day,” you think to yourself while you wrap your favorite blanket around yourself, silently crying yourself to sleep with y/f/m playing softly in the background.

~Shawn’s POV~

I woke up to my alarm at 5 am, a big day ahead of me. I sit up in bed and look over to see y/n’s side still made, no sign of her anywhere. I frown, wondering why she didn’t come to bed last night after her movie. Getting dressed quickly, i make my way to the living room, finding her curled up on the couch in her favorite blanket, the main menu of y/f/m rolling on repeat on the tv. She must have fallen asleep during the movie last night. Walking over to where she’s laying, I pick up the remove and turn the tv off before turning to y/n to carry her to bed where she will be more comfortable. As I pick her up in my arms bridal style, I notice her eyes are slightly puffy, and her cheeks look flushed. Upon further inspection of her face while I take her back upstairs to our room, I see the bags under her eyes and the smeared makeup. Was she crying? Is that why her makeup is smeared? From wiping under her eyes? That would explain her puffy eyes and slightly red cheeks. Why was she crying?

I set her down softly on her side of the bed, tucking her under the covers and sitting on the edge of the bed gently, careful not to wake her. Moving her hair from her face, I lean down to kiss her forehead. As I sit back up straight, I see a corner of a paper peeking out from under the bed. My curiosity getting the better of me, I bend down and pull the paper out fully to see it’s not just paper, it’s sheet music. Skimming over the music written in y/n’s easily identifiable handwriting, it seems to be only part of a piece. Kneeling down next to the bed, my hand reaches into the dark space, searching for more sheets. I pull out everything I can find and lean my back against the side of the bed, checking to make sure y/n is still asleep before shuffling the papers around on the floor in front of me like pieces to a puzzle, trying to put the unnumbered pages in the correct order according to the lyrics.

Once I have them all in, what I’m assuming is the correct order, my heart breaks while reading through it. Did she really feel this way? Is that why she was crying last night? Because she thought I didn’t love her anymore? My stomach sank and the thought of her crying herself to sleep over me. How could I not have noticed? How long has she felt like this? So many thoughts were running through my mind at once, causing my head and heart to ache at the same time. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed, I’ve been so busy the last month trying to get things prepared for today that I’ve made her feel unloved.

With a new determination fueling me, I jump to my feet after putting the sheet music back where I found it. Leaning down to kiss y/n’s forehead one more time, I whisper to her sleeping form. “I’m so sorry babygirl. I’m going to make this up to you, I promise.”

Checking my phone, I mentally curse at myself for losing track of time. I have 15 minutes to get to the dance studio on the other side of town. I rush out the door as quietly as I can, dialing y/bf/n as I pull out of the driveway, hearing her pick up on the third ring.

“Hey, meet me at the dance studio.”

~Y/N’s POV~

You wake up around 8:30 am, your eyes dry and head pounding from crying yourself to sleep. Rolling over, you notice you aren’t on the couch anymore, but in bed with your blanket still wrapped around you. Confused as to how you got here, you sit up. Shrugging, you figured you got up last night to come to bed and don’t remember. You trudge downstairs to take something for your headache and eat something. Popping a bagel in the toaster and pulling out the cream cheese, you hear your phone ringing from the coffee table in the living room. You race over to pick it up before the calls ends, the blanket around your neck flapping behind you like a cape.

“Hello?” Forgetting to check the caller ID in your rush to answer the phone, you had no clue who was calling you this early in the morning.

You hear the unforgettable voice of your best friend on the other line. “Hey, Alex wants to run over the choreography for the music video today. She wants everyone at the studio by 5 for warm ups. She has a few meetings today, which is why it’s so late. I was thinking I could come over at around 12:30, we can go grab lunch, then go shopping to kill time?” Y/bf/n says cheerfully. She has always been more of a morning person than you.

“I don’t know, Y/bf/n. I’m not really feeling like doing anything today. I’ll be at rehearsal, but im not feeling up to shopping.” You chew on your lip, another anxious habit of yours.

“Please, Y/n. We haven’t hung out in a while, I miss you. Plus, shopping will help you feel better. It’s practically therapeutic.” She all but begs, and you can even hear the pout in her voice, knowing she’s giving you the puppy eyes.

You sigh, feeling your resolve slowly fade. That’s all she needs, knowing she’s won and cheering by herself. “I’ll be over in a few hours. Don’t forget to pack your dance bag.” Saying your goodbyes, you hang up and go back to making your breakfast.

~Skip to 12:30~

You hear a car honk twice outside, your signal that y/bf/n is here to pick you up. Grabbing your dance bag, keys, and phone, you walk out the front door, making sure it’s locked behind you before climbing into y/bf/n’s car.

She leans over and gives you a hug, then lets you buckle up as she pulls out and heads towards town. “Have you heard anything from Shawn today?”

You roll your eyes, even on your anniversary, he still acts as if you don’t exist. “He was gone when i woke up this morning, like normal. Haven’t even gotten a text.” The mention of him forgetting your anniversary instantly puts you in a bad mood. “Can we not talk about him while we are out, please? This is supposed to be helping me cheer up, not reminding me why I’m upset to begin with.”

Y/bf/n glances at you out of the corner of her eyes, focusing on the road. “Sure, where do you want to eat?” Already heading towards your favorite fast food place.

“As if you have to ask.” You joke, trying to lighten the mood.

Pulling out of Chick-Fil-A drive through, you have the biggest smile on your face. You love their spicy chicken sandwiches. Who would have thought to put pickles on a chicken sandwich? Only Chick-Fil-A. As y/bf/n drives in the direction of the mall, you dig out her sandwich and fries for her so she can eat and drive at the same time. Digging into your own food, you practically moan as the deliciousness melts in your mouth.

Once the car is parked in the mall parking lot, you two finish up your food before heading inside, throwing your trash out on your way in.

“Where to first?” You ask, stopping in front of the map of the mall they have posted at every entrance. Looking to y/bf/n, you see her grin evilly and instantly get nervous. “Oh no.” You barely make out before you are dragged into the first store you see.

~Skip to 3:45 pm~

“Are we almost done? The studio is on the other side of town and I’d like to have time to stretch before warm ups.” You whine at y/bf/n, tired of shopping already. It’s never been one of your favorite things to do, but you agreed to it because y/bf/n knows how to manipulate you, in a best friend sort of way.

“Just one more store, then we can leave.” She says, pulling you into one last store. This shop had a lot of really nice dresses, shoes, tops, skirts, accessories, etc. Basically anything you need for a formal/semi-formal event, this place will have it. Y/bf/n absolutely loves this place, and even though you aren’t exactly a big fan of shopping, even you had to admit they have a lot of nice dresses.

Deciding you might as well kill time while you wait for y/bf/n to finish her escapade, you walk around, checking out dresses and shoes. Fingering through a rack of cocktail dresses, you come across this black strapless dress. It had a heart shape bust with a lace overlay. A thin silver belt separated the bust from the skirt. The skirt had multiple layers of thin black tool that gave it some volume, the very bottom layer being soft silk against your skin so the tool doesn’t scratch and irritate you.

All in all, the dress is stunning, so you pull it from the rack and run off to find y/bf/n to show her. Finding her by the shoes, as if she can sense you coming, she turns around and sees you holding up the dress, proud of your find.

“OMG, that is gorgeous! You have to try that on!!” You and y/bf/n gush over the dress while you scour the shelves to find shoes to go with it. She manages to find the perfect pair of silver sparkly heels, and you two dash off to the dressing rooms.

As soon as you put the dress on, you fall even more in love with the dress. You walk out to show y/bf/n and her eyes practically fall out of her head. “You are getting it, I don’t care how much it costs.”

“I don’t even have any reason to buy it, it’s not like i’ll be going out on a hot date any time soon.” You remind her, getting upset again.

“You are buying the dress, even if I have to take you on a date myself! Now go change so we can pay and get out of here.” With a playful eye roll, you turn back to the changing rooms and put your other clothes on before heading to check out and leaving.

By the time y/bf/n pulls up to the studio, its 4:30. Both of you jump out of the car and rush inside to get dressed and stretched out before 5. When you walk in, everyone else is already there and either chatting or stretching. You say your hellos and walk into the locker room, changing into your dance clothes, not having to worry about your hair since you put it into two french braids after your shower this morning.

Leaving your bags in your normal lockers, you and y/bf/n walk out to the main studio and start stretching, chatting with some of the other dancers. At 10 minutes before 5, you guys all start running through warm ups. Doing pieces of old routines to get your muscles moving and loose. After a few warm ups, someone suggested running through the routine for the music video before Alex gets there, most likely running late in her last meeting seeing as it was almost 5:15 and she still wasn’t there yet. You all get into your starting positions, waiting for the music to start. Once the music does start, you notice its the wrong song.

You recognize the song as Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur (A/N: if you click this link, it should take you to a YouTube video that shows the choreography that I’m referencing. if the link doesn't work. then open YouTube and search “Say You Won't Let Go (Dance Video) - James Arthur | @ besperon Choreography”.) and look around confused. When the other dancers start moving, you instantly notice the choreography, it’s your choreography that you used in your audition for Taylor Swift’s Tour, the one you met Shawn on. Speaking of Shawn, he walks out of the men’s locker room, a headset mic taped to his face, and he’s singing the lyrics while moving to stand with you in the middle of the studio floor, the rest of the dancers moving around you two in time to the song.

By the time he got to the second verse, you had tears in your eyes. He stopped singing, but his voice still filled the room, probably a recording. “Dance with me?” Shawn asked, a smile on his face as the rest of the dancers moved to the walls of the room. ( A/N: She starts dancing with Shawn at the 1:30 mark of the video until the end)

Your body moves on it’s own, the choreography committed to memory from the multiple months you worked on this piece and practiced, you’d probably be able to dance this piece in your sleep. After the choreography was done, Shawn continued to sing the rest of the song, holding you close, both of you with tears in your eyes.

As the song slowly fades, everyone else in the room starts to cheer. “I’m so so so sorry for how I’ve been acting. I wasn’t meaning to make you feel abandoned or unloved. The truth is I love you more than life itself. My absence this last month and a half was because of this. I spent extra hours in the studio, recording my own music, but also working on this song. I would get up at 4 am every day so i could come here and learn the choreography. We both know I’m not the world’s best dancer, which means every chance I got, I was running over the work. I was so focused on making sure this was perfect for today, I guess I neglected the woman this was all for. And I am so sorry, baby.” Shawn was full on crying by the end of his small rant, his hands on your waist. Your heart was swelling, he didn’t forget your anniversary. He put so much effort into making sure today was as special as possible. He learned the choreography to your audition, the audition that landed you a spot on Taylor’s tour. The tour where you two met.

Because of your mental tyrade, you forgot to say anything, tears falling freely down your cheeks. But for the first time in a long time, they were out of happiness, not pain.

Shawn wiped your cheek, the simple motion pulling you from your own thoughts, his own chocolate eyes watching you closely, “Are you upset with me?”

Unable to speak, you pulled him into a deep loving kiss by the back of his neck. When the kiss was finally broke, Shawn had a soft smile on his face, relieved you weren’t mad at him for his behavior.

He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a small red box. “I know I’ve been a crappy boyfriend to you lately. And I don’t deserve for you to forgive me so easily. But if you allow me, I promise to show you what love feels like. I promise to cherish every moment with you. I promise to never take you for granted. And I promise to one day make you my wife. But only if you promise to do the same. So, what do you say?”

Shawn opens the small box to display the most beautiful promise ring. A thin silver band holding a delicate treble clef, and in the corner a small diamond stone. In complete awe, your y/e/c eyes flick between the man standing before you and the beautiful ring in his hand.

The biggest smile plastered itself to your face and the words, “I promise,” fell from your lips. Shawns lips instantly found yours in a kiss filled with love and passion. He slips the ring on your hand and the room erupts into cheers once more.

“One more, surprise, we are going out for dinner to celebrate not only our anniversary, but also this wonderful moment,” Shawn explains, placing a small kiss to the top of your hand.

“Shawn, I don't have anything to wear. All I have is my dance clothes that smell like body odor now and the clothes i wore here.” You explain just as you see y/bf/n walk into the room, holding your dress and shoes you bought at the mall. “Oh, I hate you both,” You say playfully, giving Shawn one last kiss before running off to the locker rooms with y/bf/n to get ready, suddenly thankful you put your hair in braids earlier so it will be wavey when you undo them. Y/bf/n helps you get ready, making small talk while she does your makeup that she brought with her and explaining that she recorded the whole thing for you. You ask her to send it to you and she agrees. Once you’re fully dressed and ready to go, y/bf/n gives you a hug, and you walk out to see Shawn in a simple tux.

His jaw drops when he sees you. “You look gorgeous, y/n. Ready to go?” He kisses your cheek softly and takes your hand in his, leading you out the door and to his car that you just realized was only a few parking spots away from where you and y/bf/n parked.

“Oh, and by the way, Happy Anniversary baby.” Shawn kisses you one more time, a soft and sweet gesture before opening your door.

~~THE END~~

#shawn #shawn mendes #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes prompt #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes fluff #prompt #prompt list #masterlist #prompt masterlist

126 notes · View notes

ironwoman359 · 6 years

Note

Heyo is like to preface this message by saying I’m bi, and love my ace and aro sibs so much. I’m also really interested in how people see the LGBTQ+ community and I wanted to ask as respectfully as I could what your opinion is as a heteroromantic asexual person. Do you see yourself as LGBTQ+? Feel free to completely ignore this message or delete it if you wanna :) I just recently found out what your full orientation was (split model and such) and was real curious! Okay bye lovely!! ♥️♥️♥️

Firstly, I want to thank you for being so kind and respectful in your question! I really appreciate that. Secondly, this is really long and rambly, and gets really personal for me, so I’m gonna stick it under a cut so I don’t take up all y’alls entire dash. If you want to hear my thoughts about this, feel free to read of course! I by no means am hiding here, but just remember that this is all my own experiences I’m talking about here, and by no means is meant to represent all ace people, especially not all ace-het people. Everyone is unique and has their own story and own feelings about their orientation, so take my thoughts for what they’re worth, but remember that they aren’t the only thoughts out there.

So! without further ado, here we go. (also, apologies to the blogs I tagged, don’t feel obligated to read this, I was just using you as examples. Love you, ‘kay bye)

Do I, as a split model asexual-heteromantic (cis) woman see myself as a member of the LGBTQ+ community?

I really wish that I could answer that with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ but unfortunately I can’t do that. My orientation confuses the heck outta me, and I’ve found that there aren’t that many simple answers when it comes to it. So hopefully I can break this down in a way that makes sense.

In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m not LGBT+, so I’m going to start with those. One, I was raised, and still am, a Christian. Now, let me explain. I am not saying that Christians aren’t or can’t be LGBT+. Nothing could be further from the truth. But I bring it up because it is relevant to my own journey with my orientation. Christians are taught that sex is to be shared and enjoyed with your spouse after marriage, and only with your spouse after marriage. That is a belief that I still hold for myself today. But what this meant for little 12 year old Taylor going through puberty was that sex was just on that list of things to not do, you know? Don’t drink underage, don’t do drugs or smoke, don’t have sex before marriage, don’t be a bully, etc. For me, I couldn’t see the point of doing any of those things; drugs and cigarettes are terrible for your body, drinking before it’s legal is pretty foolish on a lot of levels, bullying is so mean, I had no urge to do any of those things, so it didn’t come as a surprise to me that I had no urge to have sex either. It didn’t even occur to me that for some people around my age and older, that temptation to have sex was really really strong.

This leads directly into another reason that I don’t feel LGBT+ sometimes: as a heteromantic, I never went through the confusion of wondering why I didn’t like boys yet. I did like boys, I developed major crushes on several at my school. Ok, like, four. In all of middle school and high school, I had maybe four attractions that I would say were strong enough to be called crushes. That’s because I don’t really feel physical attraction (though I didn’t realize this back then). I can recognize and appreciate aesthetic attraction, but it doesn’t really do anything for me. I fall in love with people, not bodies or faces, and I went to a small high school where most of the guys were losers, so my pickings were slim. But I did like those few guys, and I wanted those guys to like me, I constantly wondered if any guy liked me in “that way,” even ones I wasn’t interested in, just seeking that validation. Most didn’t, or if they did, they didn’t say. One guy, who was actually my biggest crush, did admit his own crush on me and we went on one date, but it didn’t go further than that (thank god, turns out he would’ve been a terrible person to date. My current bff is one of his [many] exes, and I learned from her that I dodged a bullet by not going out with him more, but anyway). I never had more than that one date in all my life before I started dating my current bf (more on him later), and I couldn’t see the point in having sex with someone you weren’t dating/in love with, so I always just assumed the reason I had never been tempted to try sex outside of marriage was because I had never dated anyone. I didn’t realize that for most people a sex drive was….you know, a drive.

Ok though, so why am I telling you all this, and why does it make me see myself as not a part of the LGBT+ community sometimes? Well, I feel like I haven’t gone through a lot of the struggles that a lot of people in that community are going/have gone through. Questioning what was wrong with me, why I didn’t like members of the opposite gender, thinking I was broken, I didn’t go through any of that. And since I’m heteromantic, it sometimes feels hypocritical to claim myself a member of the LGBT+ community. I feel like I have no common ground with them. What place do I have, sticking my nose into this community when I don’t share their struggles?

HOWEVER

I don’t actually agree with that line of thinking when it comes to most other people. I absolutely think that asexuality is valid and needs to be recognized as a valid part of the LGBT+ community, because at its core, the LGBT+ community is a group of people who come together around one shared thing: we are not what our society has deemed to be “normal” or “default”: Heterosexual/heteromantic/cisgendered. And I recognize those thoughts I have about my own worth as a member of the LGBT+ community, it’s what people who don’t believe that aces are real or belong in this community say to discourage our presence. And that is so, so damaging. Just because I didn’t experience some of those struggles in my younger years doesn’t mean that other cishet-aces didn’t, in fact, I bet a lot did. I was a sheltered kid in a lot of ways (not by my parents mind you, I actually sheltered myself unintentionally) and that ended up saving me a lot of confusion and heartache, but I know that my experiences don’t speak for all cishet-aces’ experiences.

Also, just because I didn’t experience the confusion and feelings of brokenness in middle and high school doesn’t mean I didn’t experience them. I did, as an adult. (this is the part where I start talking about my love life, sorry in advance)

When I was a freshman in college, I had this guy friend. I had a massive crush on him, he was super nice and funny and we liked a lot of the same things and we could talk for hours about anything and-Well, I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice it to say, if our lives were a fanfic, it’d be tagged as slow burn Taylor x Steven, and every chapter the readers would be tearing their hair out, screaming at the page for them to JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY, GOD. (That’s what our friends certainly were thinking. They shipped us hardcore) But, he’s a dork, and I’m a dork, and we were both too afraid to act on our feelings and ruin our friendship. After a year of being friends though, he finally asked me out at the start of our sophomore year, and we began dating (our third anniversary is this september).

Physically, we took things slow, this being my first ever relationship, only his second, and us both wanting to save sex for marriage, the physical part of the relationship developed much more slowly than the emotional one. I don’t remember how long we were dating before he asked if he could kiss me…I may have actually told him I loved him before we got to that point, I don’t remember. But after we’d been dating for awhile, I started to become aware of something. Couples, even couples not having sex, were typically more physical than this, right? Kisses weren’t just for hellos and goodbyes, didn’t people just kiss for the heck of it? Wasn’t more physical affection something you were supposed to want?

At first, I shrugged it off as physical touch being my lowest love language. And I told him this, when I realized that, because I knew it was higher for him. I believe my exact words were something along the lines of “I’m not a very physical person, it’s all up here for me” *gestured to my brain* I knew that I was attracted to personality more than looks, and I knew I enjoyed quality time and other displays of love to physical affection. I didn’t know the word asexual yet.

As we dated more and it became more likely that marriage was in our future though, my thoughts started to drift towards that possibility. The thought of sharing my life with him excited me, as did the possibility of raising a family with him. Of course, in order to make a family (in the traditional way)…you have to have sex. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could not imagine myself in any sexual situation at all. The thought made me uncomfortable, which at first I brushed off as repression/ignorance, since there had been little to no sex ed in my high school (it had boiled down to “here’s how you don’t get pregnant or catch an std: use condoms, make sure you and your partner are tested, be on the pill, or you know, just don’t have sex. Seemed ok to me. But orientations, the act itself, any of that stuff? Completely ignored.) But as time went on and on, I started to panic. I couldn’t picture myself in any sort of sexual situation, hell, I couldn’t even understand what some people found so enjoyable about kissing. I’m almost 22, and still have never “been to first base.” What could possibly be enjoyable about sticking your tongue in someone else’s mouth? That’s…that’s just weird. Surely you see how weird it is? (probably not, if you aren’t ace, and that’s ok. I’m aware that I’m the weird one in that line of thinking)

By summer break 2017, I was thoroughly freaked out. I wanted to be married, but I had come to the realization that I didn’t want sex. And I knew that he would, I mean, how could he not? People wanted sex, right? So what was wrong with me? By this point, I think I had seen the word asexual on the internet before, but I didn’t know much about it, all I knew was that it was part of the LGBT+ community. And while I sympathized with their struggles, I didn’t know a whole lot about all the individual orientations specifically, cause hey, I was straight! I was in love with a man, and I knew I wasn’t attracted to girls, so I wasn’t bi. Boom, not LGBT+. But somehow or another, I started pinning a lot of sjw and human rights related things on pinterest (tumblr screenshots mostly, actually. I had a tumblr then, but like never used it) and by doing that, more of it started showing up in that feed. With the sjw stuff came a lot of posts about the LGBT+ community in general, and one day I came across an Ace Positivity post. Reading it felt…oddly familiar, and I googled asexuality to learn more.

Oh.

Well, that makes a lot of sense.

It wasn’t until later that month that I finally got up the courage to officially attach the label to myself. When I finally did, it felt strange and foreign to say.

“I am asexual.”

I didn’t even really know what that meant for me, but I knew it was true. A month later I told my boyfriend about it when I saw him at a family get together. He is the only living soul in my real life that I have told. Everyone else thinks I’m straight. And I (usually) don’t feel the need to correct them. Because I still feel straight sometimes, especially in the eyes of the world. As far as I’m concerned, my sex life isn’t anybody’s business besides mine and my partner’s, so why should I announce to the world that there’s something more complicated going on beneath the surface of what they see?

It wasn’t til I started to be more active on tumblr that I really started to feel comfortable in my own orientation. I started getting involved in fandoms and I met other people who, wonder of wonders, had similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences that I did about sex. From @the-asexual-reaper and @pleaseletthisjimbetaken to @randomslasher, @logically-asexual, @what-even-is-thiss, and several others, I began to realize that being ace wasn’t strange or weird, it was normal, it was even something to celebrate. It hasn’t even been a full year of me knowing what asexuality is and I’ve learned so much about asexuality and myself in that time, it’s honestly kind of mind boggling. Recently, I even did something that may seem small, but actually was kinda important to me: I was taking an online survey about campus demographics or something, and I came to a question asking about sexual orientation. It listed several, and then had an “other” box where you could type one in if yours wasn’t represented. I almost clicked “straight” without thinking, but then I saw the “other” box…and I clicked it. I typed “asexual” into the blank space, and submitted the survey. Even though the survey was anonymous, it felt like a big deal. That was the first time I admitted to anybody outside the realm of tumblr or my romantic relationship that I was anything other than straight. It was weird, but…kind of nice.

So, I’ve rambled for a long time, and it’s taken me way longer than it should have realistically to write this, but this is what I’m getting at. There are times when I feel funny about calling myself LGBT+, but the reasons that I give for myself to feel that way are honestly frighteningly similar if not identical to what people who want to erase my identity completely say. And hell, even if you don’t think I’m LGBT+, don’t you dare take the asexual community away from me. Without it, I would still be terrified to even voice my fears about sex to my boyfriend, and the growing likelihood/closeness of my wedding night would cause me even more anxiety. And even on days when I feel like I haven’t “earned the right” to be counted among the LGBT+ community, this is what I believe. I believe that all asexual people should be included and represented in the LGBT+ community, because it is important that our orientations be seen.

All asexual people should be represented, from split model aces to aro aces to trans aces to demi aces, to gray aces, to every other kind of ace, because if we are not, then the cycle of believing that you’re broken or wrong or inadequate or out of place will continue for young aces who weren’t as luckily oblivious as I was. All asexual people need to be represented in the LGBT+ community, so we can support our bi and pan siblings who face similar erasure, all ace people need to be represented so that we can find each other and share our stories, and make our voices heard.

We’re here, we’re real, and we’re not going away.

All asexual people need to be represented, so that every person who’s questioning knows that it’s ok to click the “other” box.

#asks and answers #asexuality #ace things #ace discourse #i'm really hesitant to tag this as ace discourse #cause i know there's a lot of negativity in that tag #but i think this is important #so i'm gonna do it #long post #sorry it's three am and that got really personal really quickly #if you took the time to read all of it #i thank you #<3

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nostalgiaispeace · 6 years

Text

840.

Tonight the last person you kissed calls you and tells you he wants you what do you say? he lives with me. he wouldn’t call me. Who was the last person to drive you somewhere? Matt? When was the last time you cried? yesterday Are you texting the last male you cuddled with? no

When was the last time you totally broke down? last week?

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? $$ Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? not recently. Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with a L? no What will you be doing in the next 2 hours? maybe sleeping What are you currently listening to? watching Teen Mom OG

Are you angry with someone right now? a bit Do you have any plans for the weekend? work, chill, go to dinner for my wedding anniversary Has the last person you kissed ever took their shirt off in front of you? yes Who were you with Friday? my husband If the last person you kissed, saw you kissing someone else, would they be upset? duh Are you missing someone? yes Do you believe your ex cares about you? no Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? sweat pants Do you want to say something to someone? no Anybody you’re looking forward to seeing soon? no Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Yeah Was yesterday fun? no How fast does your mood change? it can Would you ever get in the passenger seat of a car with someone who’s been drinking? no

Do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes

Have you ever had an alcoholic beverage? yes.. Do you ever feel like you just HAVE to sing out loud? sure Have you ever watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? If yes, what makes it enjoyable? no

Do you own a TV? If so, what do you watch on it? yes, tv shows, films Do you have Netflix/ViaPlay/other similar online channel?: Netflix Have you ever watched Nostalgia Critic or Nostalgia Chick?: no What is the strangest type of food you have eaten?: dunno What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten?: dunno What would be your most ideal profession?: singer What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks?: water rides Have you tried those colouring books for adults?: no What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone?: politics Someone is about to take your picture. How do you react?: put my hand in my face or in the way Do you frequent any “funny pictures” site? If so, which one?: no Do you wash your dishes by hand or do you have a dishwasher?: both Do you ever get a chance to stay home alone? If not, why not?: yeah Are you/have you ever been engaged? If not, would you like to be one day?: yes Are you/have you ever been married? If not, would you like to be one day?: yes What makes a person ugly?: personality What makes a person beautiful?: personality What is the craziest hairstyle and colour you’ve had?: I’ve had blue in my hair. that’s as crazy as ive gotten Is there a book that you are currently reading?: yes Do you prefer an actual book or ebooks? Why?: both are fine. What was your first gaming console?: original Nintendo ? Do you have any siblings? If so, how close are you?: yes, we are civil Is there something you’re eagerly waiting for? What is it?: no Is there something you’d like to change about yourself?: yes Have you ever had a sunburn? Where on your body was it?: yes; everywhere basically. Do you have or would you like to have a tattoo? If so, where?: both; my whole body Which fictional villain is your favourite?: Voldemort What was the last present you gave someone?: dunno Have you ever had a serious injury?: yes Do you collect anything?: yes What’s under your bed?: whatever my cat puts there What is something you’ve been meaning to get done but haven’t yet?: yes Do you enjoy traveling?: no Where do you carry the things you need with you when leaving the house?: my pockets and purse What’s the last thing you’ve made with your hands?: dunno On a daily basis, do you prefer to go by car or by bicycle? Why?: car. it’s easier Do you know your ancestry?: Some of it Which hair colour would you never want to have?: dunno What has been the most beautiful place you’ve visited?: NYC

Where was the very first kiss you had with the last person you kissed? his bed

Are you texting anybody? yes

What were you doing at 9:30 last night? sleeping

Are you listening to music right now? No

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? yes

Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? yes

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a someone that treated you badly? probably

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? i would be too shocked to say anything tbh

Have you hugged someone within the last week? yes

Are you a couple with the last person you kissed on the lips? yes

What woke you up this morning? alarm

What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? bff

Did you cry at all today? no

Will your next kiss be a mistake? no

When is the next time you will kiss someone? today

Are you older than the last person you kissed? no

When is the last time you consumed alcohol? early September

What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

Have you ever been given flowers? yes

Can you honestly say that at this point in time you’re happy with the way things are? sure

What are you excited for? not really.

Did anyone call you babe/baby today, who? yes; my husband

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yes

Last time you smiled? Today

Would life be the same without alcohol? yes

Ever had sex in the bathroom? yes

Who are you dating? my husband

Who’s the last person you talked to about sex? my husband

Have you ever sat in the back of a police car? no

Are you stubborn? yes

If you took a drug test right now, would you pass? yes

Who was the last person to be on a bed with you? husband

Do you tend to hold a grudge? yes

Who is the last person that pissed you off? my mom

What’s a fact about the last person that texted you? she just moved to PA

Has anyone called you perfect before? yes

Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? i’m married to a recovering drug addict so

When was the last time you fought with your parents? yesterday

What was the last alcoholic beverage you drank? rum and coke i think

Do you care if people hate you for no reason? yes

Who was the last person to play with your hair? dunno.

Who was the last person you kissed on the cheek? dunno

Would you ever get plastic surgery? if i had the money

Have you ever had so much to drink that you still felt drunk when you woke? yeah

What is your mother’s middle name? Hazel

Is there currently anyone else in the room with you? no

Have you ever tried a weird flavour of vodka? yes

What is the wallpaper on your phone? me and my husband with a quote

Why did you call the last person you called? i need my meds

How many windows are in the room you’re in? none

Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? yes

When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? dunno

How far from your house is the nearest supermarket? a few minutes

If you could wake up and speak any language fluently, what would it be? arabic

Does it snow where your grandparents live? yes

Name all the people you know that you saw today. Matt

Can you count your number of serious relationships on one hand? yes

How about number of sexual partners? yes

Has anyone told you they missed you lately? dunno

Was yesterday better than today? no

This time last year, were you single? no

Do you have any siblings? yes

Do any of your friends dislike each other? i dunno

What are you doing right now? This and watching Teen Mom OG

Have you ever liked someone but were afraid to tell them? yes

What happened at 9:00AM today? ordering my prescriptions

Do you have a best friend? Yes

Are you scared to fall in love? no

Do you think ex’s can remain friends? yes

Are you one of those people that always answer their phones? no

Hate it when you go over to someone’s house and do absolutely nothing? sometimes

Are you one of those people who gets jealous of boys/girls your current bf/gf dated? sometimes

Were you single for your last birthday? no

Did you talk to the person you like today? yes

When was the last time you were in a car with someone besides family? last week

What are you wearing on your feet? socks

You can get a puppy or a new car. Which do you choose? puppy

What is bothering you right now? i’m tired

Is it easy to make you cry? yes

Think back to August, were you in a relationship? yes

Any drama in your life right now? yes

Did you sleep alone last night? yes

When was the last time you received flowers? What were they for? a long while ago

Have you ever been physically or mentally abused? How did it effect you? no

Do you consider yourself a vengeful person? If so, why’d you think that is? not really

What one quality do you have that you are proud of? empathy

When have you felt the most proud of yourself? For what reason? my job; it’s a hard job to have

Have you ever had a near death experience? If so, how did it feel? yes; i didn’t care so i was mad i stayed alive

#me #survey

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brigittephung22 · 6 years

Text

5/27/18

Whooop today my bf and i finally celebrated our 1.5 year anniversary! it felt nice to finally go on like a REAL date again bc i love going around holding hands and sharing food with someone i love :-) relationships do take work but it’s really nice when you work things out and both parties are aware of how you two can make it the best it can be. v good learning experience! just got a boba delivery from my bf which i really appreciate but i shouldn’t be drinking because we had matcha ice cream earlier!

My cousins from Texas are still here and it’s strange how I’ve actually grown to not immediately respect them just because they’re older than me. They’re over a decade older than me, and so growing up I always associated them with wisdom and felt that they were always right. But now that I’m older it’s honestly pretty shocking that I frequently butt heads with what they say now. For one, I’m alarmed at how I didn’t realize how poorly they speak about/treat women? They’re both engaged, but like they don’t hesitate to flirt with waitresses and say things like “oh she’s pretty in an ugly way.” Hearing these things make me so upset because they make me feel that commitment/proposals/marriage mean nothing to people and that we still live in a society where disrespecting women is okay. I try telling them that I think how they act is wrong and rude and all they respond with is “it’s just a joke!” uGHHHHGHH

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averyonelovesjack · 6 years

Text

tickets ~ zach herron

requested: yes

Sorry to such a bother but I thought of an idea! It's the Zach anon again haha, but I was thinking of something like actions speak louder than words? Where he doesn't think he loves the reader but his actions show he does but doesn't realize it until later, kinda like the boys songs "words I didn't say"? Maybe the reader gets a bf and he tries to convince her he loves her more and she tried to move on from zach but cant. Sorry that's so jumbled but something like that would be cute! Thanks babe!

summary: with a boyfriend, y/n struggles to confront zach about her feelings.

warning(s): cursing (tbh can’t remember but probably)

word count: 2728

author’s note: i absolutely love this idea!! that’s one of my favorite songs so it was really fun to write for me. i hope you like it love:)

I couldn’t help but let out a small giggle as my best friend stared at me from across the kitchen table in the early morning. My voice was sore and my throat was dry, but a hoarse laugh left my throat at the silly faces that Zach had made to get me to smile in the slightest way.

My lips sipped at the coffee mug, my eyes closed so that I wouldn’t choke from laughing while i drank. As i put the cup down, I let out another laugh, Zach’s facial expression changing.

“stop,” i whined at him, “it’s too early to laugh”

he made a different face, “it’s never too early to laugh, y/n”

i shook my head, letting out another chuckle at my obnoxiously hilarious best friend. his face turned to a smiley one that i couldn’t help but return. zach was too cute when he smiled and it was impossible not to return it, “are we still on for pitch perfect 3?”

“i thought you’d forget about that,” he playfully rolled my eyes, “if we must see it, then fine. We’re still on”

“of course we must see it!” i stared at him, “we’ve seen the other two together. It’d be shameful not to see the third one together”

“to be fair, you did force me to see the other two as well,” Zach defended his former statements.

“yes, but you ended up loving them,” I explained and he shook his head.

“no, i loved the first one. the second one was ok”

I shook my head, “it was funny!”

“yeah, but what’s the point in a third one? what could they possibly do that they haven’t done already?”

“i don’t know! that’s why we have to go see it!” He groaned and slid down in his seat as I giggled, taking another sip of my coffee.

Excitement traveled through my body as I arrived at the Why Don’t We household. I didn’t bother knocking, knowing that at least Zach was home, due to my calling prior to arriving.

I sprinted up the stairs and into his bedroom. Zach sat on his bed, a guitar in his arm as he played around with it. I looked at him and he laughed at my lack of breath from running up a flight of stairs.

My body collapsed on his bed, my head staring up at his as he leaned over me with a smile on his face. Everything inside of me was bursting with happiness as I stared at him.

“so are you gonna tell me why you’re so excited?” he questioned with a slight laugh, strumming one final chord before setting the guitar down in the stand and staring at me. I sat up with a wide smile.

“you know jake?”

zach nearly rolled his eyes, “yes, i know your boyfriend”

“wellll, he’s taking me to the rangers-kings game tomorrow!” I squealed, “it’s an anniversary present”

“when’d he tell you about this, y/n?” his eyebrows furrowed, rather than him being excited for me.

“just an hour ago, when i saw him. since you know, our three months is next week and he wanted to surprise me”

zach nodded his head, looking down a little bit sadly.

i stared at him, confused by his response, “what’s wrong?”

he shook his head, “it’s nothing. i’m happy for you guys, i am”

i didn’t believe a single piece of bullshit that left his mouth. my eyes stared into his, “no i’m serious. what’s wrong?”

he sighed, staring at me with indecisiveness. zach took a moment before standing up to go towards his desk. i watched his every move, staring at his hands as they dug through his desk drawer. within a minute, he pulled out two pieces of paper, “i bought these about a month ago for you. I knew you were excited about the Rangers being in town and they were only playing here once this year, the other two games being in New York. I told Jake that I’d wanted to get you the tickets, but i guess i never told him that i got them”

Zach looked sad as I stared. I don’t know what to say. There’s nothing to say in this situation, “zach, it’s really sweet of you to do this. thank you”

he scoffed, looking away, “not if i can’t even take you”

“it’s the thought that counts,” I explain, “maybe one of the other boys will want to go. Jonah, maybe? he’s from Minnesota, does he like hockey?”

Zach shook his head, “it’s fine. i’ll just sell them,” He tried to fake a smile, but i could easily see that it wasn’t real, “was that all?”

“i guess,” i replied sadly, “we could hang out for a little bit”

“don’t you want to go see jake?” The name escaped his lips like venom from a snake, “he got you hockey tickets. You guys don’t have something planned?”

i shook my head, “no, we talked. and then i came here to see you. i thought we could hang out”

“yeah, whatever” He shrugged, not looking at me. I watched as he took a seat on the bed, lying back.

“are you ok? you seem a little weird today,” I ask my best friend, “then again, you’re always a little weird”

“fine. just tired,” He tries to excuse his odd behavior but i could see past it, “long day”

“ok,” i reply skeptically, “i’m sorry again”

“don’t be sorry” he tells me, “you’re not the one who should be sorry”

i frown, “jake didn’t know, zach. it wasn’t his fault”

“you sure he didn’t know?” Zach told me, a little harsher than before, “because it seems like something he did know and he just wanted to get it so that i couldn’t”

“can you stop attacking him please?” I begged, “he didn’t know”

“yeah whatever,” he looked at me, “i’m a little tired, maybe you want to go talk to one of the other guys?”

A small frown reached my face as i cautiously closed the door behind me, exiting. Jack met me when i did, and the sad look on my face allowed him to make sure i was ok. I fed him a simple answer and left, walking towards my car.

Zach has been my best friend for five years now, I moved out to LA to be with him. Everything he did for me, it was perfect. He’d make me laugh and he’d go with me places that I couldn’t drag anyone else to. He would make me smile when I’m in the darkest spot. There were arguments and fights through our relationship, sure, but we pushed through them always. They made us each sad to think about or do.

I got in the front seat of my car, thoughts of the day prior rushing to my mind. Zach had always been my little mini crush, since day one. And it wasn’t because he was extremely attractive (i mean that too), but because of his heart. He was kind and funny and sweet and perfect. I never acted upon those thoughts in fear that he’d get mad or that we’d end a good friendship for something as stupid as an itty bitty crush.

But then that itty bitty crush grew. And he became everything to me. My best friend, my partner in crime, my movie buddy, and the secret love of my life. I was so in love with him for the longest time, but he never seemed to notice. We’d do things and I’d look at him with a pair of puppy dog eyes and he would refer to me as nothing but a friend.

So when Jake came along, he was sweet and athletic and almost as funny as Zach. He would treat me like a princess and take me places I couldn’t imagine. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and as much as I was still in love with Zach, i needed someone to be there in a way that Zach just couldn’t. Jake was perfect for that. He’s a great boyfriend and he means well, i know that.

My car pulled up in front of my boyfriend’s house and I walked up to the door, knocking carefully. A few footsteps came from inside the house, and a shirtless Jake let a smile leave his lips when he saw my body standing there. He leaned down, pecking my lips and letting me in.

“hey babe, what’s up?” he questioned, “i thought you went over to tell Zach or something”

“yeah,” i shrugged, “he was tired, i guess”

I shook the thoughts from my mind, but Jake looked at me, “did something happen?”

“no,” i frown, before looking up at my boyfriend’s pleading eyes, “he was a little annoyed today, that’s all. I figured he wasn’t in the mood today, so i decided to come back here. i hope you’re not busy”

“of course not,” he told me, “i’m never too busy to hang out with you”

“that’s sweet,” i reply and i follow him towards his living room. we each took a seat on the couch, my head resting into his neck.

It was several moments and an episode of friends later when Jake and I spoke again.

“you know i love you, right?” Jake asks me. it was quick, sure, but he and i knew where we stood.

i nodded my head a little bit, “i love you too”

“but i mean, you know i love you more than zach does, right?”

i looked at him strangely, “what do you mean?”

“i love you more than zach does,” Jake repeated.

“i don’t know how you really compare them,” I furrow my eyebrows, “but that’s very sweet of you”

“he’s your friend, and i’m your boyfriend. i guess it just makes sense for me to love you more. and i love you so much, so i don’t know that he could love you more,” My boyfriend defended his reasons and i became skeptical. I love him very much, but it almost hurt when he said Zach was just my friend. Sure, friendship is all we have together, but he’s a best friend. Not just a friend.

“did you know that zach had already gotten me tickets to the game? he just mentioned that he had them for a while now,” I asked, changing the topic of discussion to get a real answer from my boyfriend.

“i didn’t know that he actually got them,” Jake shrugged.

“you didn’t trust that he would actually get them?” i scoff, unsure if i was kidding or not with him. It was a little foolish of him to think Zach wouldn’t go that far.

“i guess not, no,” his eyebrows squeezed together in confusion, “he’s just friend and tickets are a pretty big commitment to someone. They’re not cheap, especially in LA”

i looked at him crazy, “Zach’s not just a friend. He’s my best friend. he’s the reason I’m even in LA. it’s a commitment that he would make, i know. And to add to that, he’s a freaking famous singer, you don’t think he would have to money to put into it?” i explain, but then finish off with something simple, “it’s just a little confusing, babe”

“i guess i underestimated the power of your relationship,” He frowned, looking down instead of at me, “you really like him, don’t you?”

“he’s my best friend, jake,” i try to explain again, but it was no use. Jake saw through my lies.

“no, you’re in love with him, y/n” Jake says, “how long has it been?”

i stayed quiet, unsure of if i was even going to answer. It’d break his heart, and even if he was being a little idiotic about zach, jake’s given me the time of my life these past three months. It would hurt him too much.

“y/n, just freaking tell me, ok? i don’t care anymore, it’s done, it’s over. nothing can be changed, and you’re in love with your best friend. i can’t be mad at you, it’s not something you’ve just controlled. just please, one final question,” Jake looks sad, “how long have you been in love with him?”

i played with my fingers, my voice cracking just slightly as i looked down, “a couple years,” i start, “but i met you, jake. and i do love you, i swear. It’s just that-”

i pause, trying to figure out what to say next when Jake finished it for me, “you love him a little more. Or a lot more. You’ve always loved him and you can’t move on until you see what it could be, or what it will be”

i nodded my head, my boyfriend summing up my feelings perfectly. A small sob left my mouth as i looked to him, “i’m so sorry”

his arms wrapped around me, pulling my body closely to his and shushing me, “i’m sorry,” Jake whispered, “for putting you in this position. you don’t have to choose, y/n. go get your man”

i removed my body from his, looking at him, “jake, i’m so sor-”

“don’t worry, y/n. i hope we can still be friends,” he smiles sadly, “because as much as you love zach, i think that you and i would be really great friends. go get your guy”

i sniffled, looking up at him, “you’re a really great guy, you know that? you’re gonna get a really great girl someday”

“yeah yeah, i’d hope,” he jokes, “i’m getting old”

i playfully hit his chest, “you’re not even twenty”

“my friends have kids” he explained.

“your friends are twenty five” i explain and the two of us laugh at his stupidity.

“ok ok, now go. don’t miss out on this opportunity,” Jake smiles and i look at him with the biggest smile now, wiping away my tears.

I arrived at the Why Don’t We household, knocking on the suddenly locked door. It was a few moments before Jack showed up and his face looked sorrowful at mine.

“i knew you weren’t ok. what happened?” he tried to pull me in for a hug, but i shook my head, sending him a smile.

“no, i’m really good actually. is zach still home?” I ask and he stares at me strangely.

“i don’t think he’s come out of his room since you left”

“perfect,” i walk past him and down the hallway until I reach Zach’s bedroom that was shared with two other boys. When I knocked, there wasn’t much of an answer, so i walked in, recognizing that Zach was yet again playing around on his guitar, alone in the shared room.

Zach stared at me strangely, “hey, are you ok?”

“i’m great,” i laugh, “everything is perfect”

he put his guitar down cautiously, “is that sarcastic or-”

“i love you,” i blurt out, unexpected even to myself. if this happened months ago, i would’ve covered my mouth and left, but this time, i laughed again in excitement. i restated my sentence, “i love you”

“y/n-” i couldn’t tell what Zach was feeling, “jake”

“it’s over,” i officially state, “we broke up, and i’m fine”

“what happened?” he asks, “are you sure you’re ok?”

“i hope you haven’t sold those tickets yet,” i sit down on his bed and he sits up further, looking at me.

“y/n, what happened?”

“he knew that i loved you. It wasn’t bad, he’s a sweet guy and he means the best. I’d been sitting on this forever and i’m over it. I’m tired of just sitting here and analyzing whether or not you were flirting with me or just talking as friends. This isn’t a secret anymore and i hope it doesn’t ruin our relationship”

Zach say anything, really. He looked at me with his beautiful eyes. It was very quick, but his hands reached my face, resting softly there as my lips parted and attached to his. Zach deepened the kiss he’d started, making butterflies go off inside my stomach.

After a few moments, we separated and I stared at Zach with a wide smile, “is that your response?”

“i love you too,” he let out a little laugh, going in to peck my lips once again, “i really love you too”

#zach herron #jack avery #jonah marais #daniel seavey #corbyn besson #zach herron imagine #why don't we #wdw #imagines #imagine #rangers #hockey #boyfriend

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #472

“we don’t deal with outsiders very well / they say newcomers have a certain smell”

Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah; he has one son and a daughter. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I don't. I'm selfish with my alone time, and I want to live for me. I don't want to essentially hand over my life for someone else, give my all for them, and then I wind up not being enough. I don't want the financial burden. I don't want to be responsible for another human being. There are so, so many reasons I don't want kids. Does a career in finance sound interesting to you? Noooot at all. When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, but you also wouldn't catch me dead cooking beans. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? No. What’s something that’s been bothering you lately? I've been pushing it to the back of my mind to avoid panicking, so I probably shouldn't even talk about it, but I worry quite a bit that Girt will eventually leave me because of me not being "adult" enough, like having a job, a car, knowing how to do basic adult stuff... you know. I don't feel like he will, given just how devoutly he's been by my side since HS, and especially now that we're together, I'm working harder towards those goals, but still. I worry it'll happen. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? I've never had a severe one. What was the last show you binge-watched? Psych with Girt. I quite liked it. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What’s something that bothers you more and more as you get older? Political issues. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Girt. What is your favourite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Just your normal tomato sauce. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? ... In my bed. :x Do you think your ex ever loved you? Yes. Have you ever had a filling? For my teeth? Yes. Should tattoos be meaningful? Get a tattoo for whatever reason you please. It doesn't necessarily have to be meaningful, no. Do you think wisteria trees look cool? Get a wisteria tree. Do you like to eat strawberries? Get a strawberry. There doesn't need to be a big story. Do certain times of the year remind you of certain people? Yes. January is like... all about Jason in my head because within that month is his birthday and our former anniversary. Are there any negative points to being in a relationship? Uh, there's probably something. What the most recent good news you’ve heard? Just today actually I got a phone call about some genetic testing I had done to see if I carried the malfunctioning gene my mother has that makes her more prone to certain types of cancer. My sisters and I all got tested, and all three of us are good! Our pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer risks are the same as your average person walking down the street. Would you hug your bf/gf’s best friend? I don't know his best friend. I don't think I would upon just meeting him, though. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom wouldn't care less, while I don't really know about my dad. Not that it would matter what he thought. Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? NO NO NO NO NEVER DO THIS. I have to be mentally prepared for company. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I really, really love him. It's funny how wildly my emotions flipped from platonic to romantic with him just by giving it some deep thought. How close are you to the last person you hung out with? Can you be your complete self around them? We're very close, and yes. I'm still extremely shy for him to know some things, but ultimately, I'd tell him a whole lot. Is music a daily part of your life? Usually, anyway. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yes. Did you do anything sexual last night? Naw. Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? Doubt it, he's been in at least one serious relationship before. Ever want a monkey as a pet? I would absolutely fucking never, even if it was moral and possible to give them all they need as a pet. I've never been that into monkeys, anyway. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I've seen a massive stag beetle at least once and it was such a fuck no. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? Yes...? They're unfamiliar with the world and need gentleness to establish trust and a positive bond in general. There is nothing wrong with treating babies like, well, babies. Ever take a nap in a hammock? I don't believe I've ever fallen asleep in one, but I definitely used to just chill out and close my eyes on the one we used to have at my old place, under the shade of the trees. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? I don't have an opinion on this, surprisingly. I adored that show as a kid and had two video games for it. Pop-Tarts or Toaster Struddels? The latter. But both are tasty. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? Er, no. I have to love you. Smack someone on the ass lately? This question is worded so uncomfortably lmao but no. Someone smack your ass lately? Still an uncomfortable question but no. Do you like puppies more than adult dogs? They're cute, but no. Adult dogs are generally calmer and actually know where to use the bathroom. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I plan on dyeing my hair for a loooong time if it's something extra I can afford. Is there a historical figure you find interesting? If so, who? The first person who came to mind was Pharaoh Hatshepsut. Girl power, man. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I guess maybe my dad having done serious drugs for a while. I don't know if anyone would've told me that as a kid. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? I've never vandalized, period. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? SPICY SHRIMP FRITAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS <3 What is in the back seat of your car right now? I have no idea what's in the back of Mom's car, actually. I don't pay attention. What was the last thing you threw up? I'd assume whatever I had for dinner with the medication that made me vomit. What color is your mom’s hair? Since chemo, it was growing back completely gray, so now she dyes it black. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? Yeah, no. Not even entertaining this. I'd rather die. If you swapped genders for a day, how would you spend it? Ha, it's weird, the first thing that came to mind was "how would I look in makeup?" because men in makeup can look like fuckin babes so I guess that's what I'm doing lmaooo. Have you ever been to see stand-up comedy? No, but I would. I think it sounds fun. Have you ever been in a submarine? No, but that'd be cool. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. I wish. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Ohio. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? lkajsd;lkfjae yes Have you ever planted a tree? An apple tree, yes. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? I don't care. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? She can animate pretty darn well! Have you ever written a song? Guys when I was a little kid I wrote a song to the Nintendogs theme fucking kill me Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa on Dad's side used to, but he's deceased now. He would do that for me and my sisters, and I always thought it was so wild, because it was like, a lot, and this man barely knew us at all because of how far away my dad's family is. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Do you know anybody who has a birthday in November? I mean I'm sure I do, but no one off the top of my head that I know well, anyway. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? Ghostface bc I've been afraid of him since I was a kid, and I HATE knives. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know if I have a favorite. He's also just in so many movies though that I could never think of all of them. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? Yikes, no. Do you know anyone who is very ignorant? Boy, do I. I know plenty. When was the last time someone said something mean and offensive to you? I don't know, and I'd rather not try to remember. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? ?????????????????????????? NO????????????????????????? WHY WOULD I WANT THAT????????????????????????????????? Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight. Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier obvs, Rhett & Link are a pair channel, so I count them as one unit, and uhhh just one more... Snake Discovery/Emily & Ed. I could hang with them, man. What makes you more creative? Music. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? Yeah, one person. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? My sister Misty. She's making me this really cool Halloween-y wreath to keep on my door year-round. She's really good with crafts and is making some beautiful ones. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? I'd rather keep it private, but the general gist is just realizing how much I love someone again. Were you raised religious? Yes. Didn't stick. Never felt "right" or "at home" in any religion. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope I would. I feel like growing up poor, it could go either way. I do THINK I'd use it pretty wisely, at least. Maybe go a bit too hard into things I seriously love (like tattoos), but then be really stingy in other areas. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? In general, yes. My favorites are still all shades and tints of red. Got any nicknames that you rarely even use? Not nicknames I use nowadays, no. Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I’m fine being female. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Absolutely, because of how little I've accomplished. Based on your running speed, what animal would you be? Like, a tortoise probs. :^) Can you read in public? Only if it's quiet. Pokemon, Digimon, GI JOE, Barbies, or other? Pokemon, duh. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? Not having a job, to name one thing. Are you any good at science? I've always been really good at (most) science, actually. Like language arts, it's just something that naturally "clicks" for me. Do you go on any forums on the net? Just KM right now. Got any secrets you honestly can’t say to anyone? It's not that I can't, like I don't have any deep, dark secrets that would rock someone's world if they knew, there are just things I'm never sharing. Believe in voodoo? Nah. What’s something you’ve tried really hard at? To be a decently successful photographer, but let's not get me started on that travesty. :^)

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''heathens'' by twenty one pilots

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