#SHARE THE NIGHTS SPEND HOLDING YOUR SHATTERED HEART BETWEEN YOUR HANDS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frantic-fiction · 4 months

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Shattered Glass 18+

(Gif: leopardmuffinxo)

Astarion x f!reader

Summary: Astarion finally makes do on a promise.

This is part 2 of Secluded Evening. (Could be read as a stand alone)

Warnings: Smut, MDNI, oral fem receiving, PnV sex, unprotected sex, biting (of course) Astarion being a lovesick fool

Word count: 2.6k

Astarion threw another log on the fire; a flurry of embers took flight, dancing in the cold night air. The rest of the camp had already settled in their tents. You were nestled between his knees about five feet away from the flames. A throw blanket cascaded down your shoulders—a notebook on your lap.

He studies the rapid strokes of your hand from over your shoulder. The rough lines of charcoal were blooming into an identical copy of Laz'eal. Astarion pulled a strand of hair away from your eyes and began to weave your locks into a simple braid. He doesn't have a hair tie, and knowing you, you've lost yours. So, he twists the pieces, and once done let's go, kissing the crown of your head.

You barely acknowledge him, and when you suddenly shove the pencil over your shoulder, Astarion chuckles, taking it from you. He watches you begin smudging the charcoal with the pad of your finger. You're adorable when your art consumes you. Every time, it captivates Astarion.

This was how most of your nights were spent. Not always precisely like this; sometimes Astarion brought a book, and sometimes your hand got too sore to draw, so Astarion read to you as you curled on his lap. But as long as it was spent in each other's company neither of you cared much for the activity.

Astarion adored these nights the most, primarily because he could feast his eyes on your beauty without you shying away or throwing a stupid joke at him to break the tension. You were perfect in every way, and when he opened his heart briefly and confessed the broken pieces of himself and the motivations that led him to you. All you did was look at him with unspoken love and hugged him.

Your relationship became something more after that. Sex was not what drew the two of you together. For the first time in 200 years, Astarion had someone he trusted with his every sense of the word. Someone who wanted more than his body and showed their love for him without words. Someone he wanted to spend every moment of his life with despite the fear that thought causes him.

Astarion thinks he loves you but can't find the words when his mouth opens. He's always struggled with expressing his true feelings, but he wants to try with you. He wants to bear his heart to you and show you all that you mean to him. And with all the trust you and Astarion have established, one thing has become a very big problem.

You have begun to treat Astarion like glass, as if one sexual touch will break him. And frankly, it's pissing him off. Astarion finally has complete control over his body and a partner who he trusts. A partner that can bring him to his knees with a simple giggle and to put it bluntly, gods you were fucking sexy.

He's frustrated, horny, and has no idea how to ask for anything he wants. And for fucks sake, if he wakes from a meditation to have you grinding against his erection again, he just might explode.

In his frustrated musing, he didn't notice that you had placed your sketch pad away. He only noticed when you cupped his jaw and moved his eyes to meet yours. "What are you thinking about, handsome?"

It takes a moment for Astarion to collect himself as he stares at your soft smile. "I was thinking it's about time we get you, my sweet, to bed," he pecks your lips before grabbing your wrist and entwining your fingers. You nod and press a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

Astarion holds the flap open, and you duck inside. Kicking your pants off and into the corner, you unceremoniously plop down into the pile of cushions. You began sharing a tent in the shadow curse lands. Astarion found out pretty early on that nightmares of Cazador were less likely when you were in his arms. And thankfully, you slept better, too.

You prop yourself on your elbows and silently watch Astarion move about the small space, removing his outer clothing. He seemed to be stalling, almost like he was silently debating with himself. Astarion is in his underwear when he seems to come to a conclusion. He takes a deep breath and moves towards you. Kneeling by your feet, you watch as Astarion hesitates, his hand resting softly on your shin. Hesitation is soon replaced with a devilish smirk that stretches across his lips.

"Whatcha thinking about pretty boy?"

Astarion doesn't say anything, just slowly begins to crawl up your body before capturing you in a breathtaking kiss. His knee is between your legs; your hands are around his neck, pulling him flush against your body. You sigh softly into his mouth, moving your hands to caress his cheekbone.

He tongues the seam of your lips, and you are quick to gasp, giving him access to lick deeper. Astarion's hands are caressing up and down your curves, cupping your breast and tugging the metal bars of your nipple rings. His mouth moves to your throat, sucking hard at your jugular.

"W-wait!" You choke out, causing the elf above you to freeze. He's quick to remove himself from you, putting some distance between your bodies.

"Shit, did…did I do something wrong?" Astarion's voice cracks; you've never heard him so unsure of himself. You pant hard but are quick to sit up and fall into Astarion's lap, his arms instinctually wrapping around your waist.

"No, gods no," you sigh, cupping his jaw and pressing your forehead against his. The tension in Astarion's shoulders drops, and he squeezes you a bit harder.

"Then what is it, my sweet?"

That has you pausing to figure out the best way to say this. "What was your plan?" Shit, that didn't sound good

"My plan! Are you serious?" He's already pulling away, shutting off completely when you pull him back tightly.

"No! Th-that's fuck, that's not what I meant, Star," at least he's not trying to run, but he's as stiff as ever. "Astarion, I will be as blunt as possible because I care about you. Were you trying to have sex with me because you felt obligated?"

This isn't what Astarion expected you to say because he can't mask the look of surprise. He opens his mouth to speak before clamping it shut. He does this twice more, but you don't rush him, you push stray curls behind his ear and wait.

"No." His voice is small. He clears his throat before speaking again, stronger this time. "No, I want this, and I would appreciate you stop treating me like fucking glass."

“What?”

You're flipped over, and suddenly, on your back, Astarion's body pressed closely against yours. He ruts against you. His cock was hard, feeling painfully constricted in his underwear. "I appreciate your patience with me, darling, but I need to clarify one thing to you right now."

Astarion licks a long stripe up your collarbone, ending just under your ear. You moan softly, trying desperately to roll your hips up into Astarion. "I have never wanted someone more than I wanted you. So, if it's okay with you, my sweet, I'm going to take the rest of our clothes off, and you're going to finally let me feast upon the sweetness between your legs."

You whine and buck, trying to get anything from Astarion's unmoving body. "Tsk, no, no, my sweet. Use your words." He purred, nipping your ear.

"Please! Yes! Oh gods, Astarion,"

Once the words leave your lips, you're tearing at each other's clothes in desperation. After you are both fully undressed, Astarion shoves you back onto the cushions. You expect him to pounce but he hovers staring down at your naked body.

Astarion's deft fingers grab your foot, and he presses a soft kiss to your inner ankle. A pang of heat flared through your lower abdomen. He kisses up to the top of your calf before giving a playful bite. You release a soft yelp, and Astarions lavishes the bite with his tongue. He slowly moves up to your inner thigh, leaving various bruises in his wake.

You're gasping as he ghosted over the spot you wanted him most. His breath fans over your dripping cunt, and you swear he's about to give you what you want. Then he kisses you. Just one small peck on the public area just above your clit, before he retreats. You cry, and one of your hands card into Astarion's white locks.

“No! Please!”

He begins the same slow ascent up your other leg, paying just as much attention. "Now, as much as I love those beautiful noises you make for me. Remember that our camp members are trying to sleep; you can be a good girl for me, right?" He gazes up between your parted legs, and you nod and swear if he asked at this moment, you would have given him anything.

"I thought so," Astarion purred before licking up the entire length of your pussy. You moan out and swiftly clap your hand over your mouth. Then suddenly Astarion is a man starved.

His hand grips the underside of your thighs hard and pulls you down the bed as close as physically possible. He sucks, and licks, piercing his tongue sloppily at your dripping cunt, and you're a mess of pleasure. Your grind against Astarion's face, his nose rubbing beautifully against your clit. If it weren't for Astarion's hands keeping your thighs parted, you probably would be crushing his head in your desperation.

A low groan rumbles from Astarion's chest, and he focuses his attention, sucking tightly on the bundle of nerves. He slips his first and middle finger into your cunt and curls up, causing you to gasp for air.

"S-star…oh gods!" You cried, and he was ruthless with his assault. Astarion pumped his fingers quickly, the sloppy sounds of his mouth mixed with your muffled moan. Your stomach was coiling with pleasure, and you were embarrassed with how fast Astarion was picking you apart. "I'm close." you whimper, rolling your hips against his face.

Astarion, after a moment, releases your clit. Still pumping you with his fingers, he looks up at you, chin glistening with your arousal, a smug grin lazily plaster on his lips. "Come for me, love, be a good girl."

With the last few slips of his fingers, the coil snaps, and you're falling apart. Eyes unfocused, muscled tight, the silent gasp of ecstasy stuck in your throat. Astarion watches in amazement and arousal as you come apart so thoroughly with just his mouth and fingers. His cock is aching pre, now dribbling down the shaft.

Once your orgasm slows, you feel the immense need for more. And with Astarion still nestled between your legs, it has you moving without thought. You push Astarion back and plant yourself on his lap. You mash your mouth against him, chasing the taste of yourself on his tongue.

Astarion groans and cups the back of your head, deepening the kiss. Your palms roam down his chest, smoothing down his abs until you come to his neglected cock. It's swollen and red, and when you grip it softly, Astarions hisses into your mouth, bucking into your palm.

Smearing the pre-come around, you slowly work your hand up and down Astarion's dick in long, languid strokes. His eyes glaze over, and he moans, head dropping to your shoulder. Astarion's cold hands fondled your breast, and he leaned down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth. He pulls the metal piercing softly with his teeth.

You whine and tug on a fist full of Astarion's hair, rubbing your thumb over the head of his cock. "Fuck, darling." Astarion moans, moving to give your other breast equal attention. Your positive marks will be littering your body for days following. And the thought alone causes you to clench your thighs.

You pump your hand faster, and Astarion meets everyone with thrusts of his hips. He claims your lips again in a sloppy dance of wet tongues. Then suddenly Astarion stills your hand.

"If you keep this up, I'm not going to last much longer." Astarion's pants, nudging your nose with his.

"Isn't that kinda the point, handsome?"

"Not if I want to come apart feeling you clenching around me," Astarion's voice is breathless, and you moan at the thought. He kisses your cheek, then your jaw. Trailing his way to your neck. "Would you like that, my sweet,"

Whatever power you had over Astarion had just turned to dust. You bite your lip and nod quickly, letting Astarion push you on to your back. You part your hips, and Astarion slots right in.

"Words, my love. You do know how much I love your voice." Such a fucking tease.

Linking your arms around his neck, you pull him down, hitching one of your legs over Astarion's hips. "Please…I need you to fuck me."

"Shit…" Astarion groans. Taking himself in hand, he smears his dick with your arousal before filling you agonizing inch by inch.

The two of you let out a collective cry of pleasure, and you feel complete. Astarion pulls out and slams his hips back, ripping the oxygen from your lungs, and sets a steady pace. You clutch at his shoulders, digging your nails into exposed skin. The slick sounds of Astarions pumping in and out of you were depraved and did nothing but fill your lower abdomen with molten lava. Astarion wholly consumed your senses.

The coolness of his lips left lingering kisses on your arched neck. The smell of bergamot and rosemary flooded your nose with each shaky inhale. The saltiness of any skin you could taste. It was too much and not enough all at once.

The scrape of Astarion's fangs graze his favorite feeding spot, and you grab the back of his head. "Yes! P-please…" and soon, the icy pierce of his teeth is followed by the cool tingle of pleasure that flows through your body.

Astarion grunts as soon as the blood touches his tongue. He ruts faster against you, grinding you into the blankets. He has to clamp a hand over your mouth to keep your voice from waking the whole camp.

But what can you do? Nothing. Not when his other hand begins to roll your clit in tight circles matching his thrusts. Your hands trail down his back, legs hooking tightly around his torso. The angle of your hips changes, and Astarion is pounding into the spot that has you seeing stars. You're close, and you try to say so, but Astarion hand is still tight around your mouth.

After a last mouthful of blood, Astarions peppers kisses over the bite. "I know, my sweet, I'm…fuck I'm close to."

His fingers are rubbing your clit faster, and his hips aren't letting up the brutal pace. Your legs are quaking, and you feel like you might faint. You clench tightly around him, and then you fall apart. Suddenly, Astarion's hand is gone, and his tongue is in your mouth, capturing every whimper of pleasure you give. And with a few more swallow sloppy thrusts, Astarion falls over the edge with you, filling you with his spent.

Astarion continue to languidly kiss you, both hands cupping your face like you are the most precious creature on the plane. He barely grinds his hips, feeling the last of your orgasms fade until you are both too sensitive.

And it's like someone cut the puppet strings. Astarion falls limply onto you, blanketing your body with his. You comb softly through his hair, gently pulling out any knots. Astarion kisses your shoulder before rolling off of you.

It is silent for a while as you stare into each other's eyes. Astarions is the first to speak. "I love you," His words were barely above the whisper, and if you weren't staring intently at the man, you might have missed it.

You're speechless. Were you dreaming?

"I still believe you deserve more than the broken man before you. But you've chosen me, and I have felt true happiness for the first time since waking up in my grave. And well-"

You don't give him a moment to finish before you're in his lap and tackling him into an embrace. "I love you, Astarion."

The dopey grin on his face has you breaking into your own. You press your forehead to his, and he hugs you tightly. You don't know what tomorrow brings. But being here, seeing Astarion's smile, and knowing he loves you just as much as you love him. It feels like you can do anything.

Okay, friends, this was just so fun to write. Let me know what ya thought. I swear all the love and support I've received from my last few posts have been so amazing. I'm so excited to show you more!!!

If you liked this, maybe you'll like one of these?

Happy Birthday (fluffy)

Reoccurring Nightmares (hurt/comfort)

Tag list?: @heartfully10

#astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion #bg3 #reader insert #astarion ancunin #astarion imagine #bg3 astarion #astarion smut #smut

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godsfavdarling · 1 month

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How could you?

my masterlist, part 2

pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader (established relationship)

words: 2,3k

summary: You go to Spencer's apartment, only to witness a shocking betrayal that shatters your world.

warnings: angst, hurt, spoilers for season 15!

a/n: this was one of the ideas for the later chapters of my full story 'Keep Holding On' (completed and available here), but there wasn't really a place for it. so, I decided to just make it into a one-shot with a gender-neutral reader!

You and Spencer have been together for a few years now, your relationship a patchwork of late-night conversations, lazy weekends spent on a couch with books, and long nights in each other's arms.

Although his job isn't easy and you don't get him to yourself as much as you'd like to, you wouldn't change a thing. He and the love you share mean everything to you.

In the quiet moments when you're alone, you find yourself marveling at how unexpected and yet perfectly fitting your love story is. You never thought this could happen to you.

You never let yourself believe that there would be a man like Spencer loving you and accepting every fiber of your being.

Spencer's presence in your life is like a gentle breeze on a hot summer's day, soothing and comforting. His unwavering support and understanding make even the toughest days bearable. And when he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, you feel a sense of belonging that you've never known before.

You cherish the simple moments shared over cups of coffee in the morning or stolen kisses in the middle of the day. In Spencer's eyes, you see a reflection of your own hopes and dreams, and in his laughter, you find the melody of your heart's desires.

As you drift off to sleep each night, nestled in Spencer's embrace, you offer a silent prayer of gratitude for the love that fills your days and the warmth that fills your heart.

In him, you've found not just a partner, but a kindred spirit, a soulmate who completes you in ways you never knew were possible. And for that, you will always be thankful.

There's an unspoken language that exists only between you and Spencer. It's a language of love, trust, and understanding that transcends words.

You marvel at how effortlessly Spencer seems to know what you need, even before you do. His intuition is uncanny, his gestures of affection tender and sincere.

Whether it's a simple touch on the small of your back as he passes by or a reassuring squeeze of your hand when you're feeling uncertain, Spencer has an innate ability to make everything feel right.

You trust him with your deepest fears, your wildest dreams, and every fragile piece of your heart.

In his arms, you find sanctuary from the chaos of the outside world, a safe harbor where you can be your truest self without fear of judgment or rejection.

And as you navigate the challenges of life together, you're constantly reminded of just how perfect Spencer is in your eyes. His kindness knows no bounds, his patience infinite.

But it's not just his virtues that make him perfect; it's the way he loves you, wholly and unconditionally. In Spencer, you've found a partner who sees you for who you truly are, flaws and all, and loves you all the more fiercely because of them.

Now as you climb the stairs to Spencer's apartment, your heart flutters. Spencer has just started his 30 days of obligatory sabbatical, and you're looking forward to spending more time together now that his only obligation is his teaching job. You've picked up takeout on the way, eager to share a quiet evening together.

But as you open the door, your excitement turns to shock and disbelief.

There, before you, is Spencer, locked in a passionate embrace with JJ. Her hands are cupping his cheeks, their lips pressed together in a kiss that sends a jolt of pain through your chest.

Time seems to stand still as the bags of food slip from your fingers, crashing to the floor with a dull thud. You can't tear your eyes away from the scene before you, the weight of betrayal crushing down on you like a ton of bricks.

A thousand thoughts race through your mind, each one more painful than the last.

How could Spencer do this to you? How long has this been going on? And most importantly, how could you have been so blind to the truth?

Your heart feels like it's been ripped from your chest, shattered into a million pieces by the revelation before you. The love and trust you once shared with Spencer now lay in ruins at your feet, leaving you feeling empty and alone in a world that suddenly seems cold and indifferent.

As Spencer and JJ finally break apart, their eyes widening in shock at your sudden appearance, you feel a surge of anger rising within you. But beneath the anger lies a deep well of hurt and sadness, a pain that cuts to the very core of your being.

Without a word, you turn on your heel and flee from the apartment, tears streaming down your cheeks as you struggle to make sense of the betrayal that has shattered your world.

Everything spins around you in a blur of tears and confusion, you turn and run down the stairs, desperate to escape the pain and betrayal that threaten to consume you.

Each step feels like a marathon, your legs heavy with the weight of sorrow and disbelief.

But just as you reach the bottom of the stairs, your vision swimming with tears, you stumble, your foot catching on the edge of a step. You plummet forward, the ground rushing up to meet you with terrifying speed.

In that split second before impact, a pair of strong arms wraps around you, pulling you back from the brink of disaster. You gasp in shock and relief as Spencer catches you, his grip firm and steady.

For a moment, you cling to him like a lifeline, your body trembling with the force of your emotions.

You can't breathe, can't think, can't comprehend the enormity of what has just happened.

As you collapse onto the stairs, your sobs echoing in the empty stairwell, Spencer kneels beside you, his expression a mixture of concern and frustration.

He reaches out to touch you, but you flinch away, unable to bear the thought of his hands on your skin.

"Please," he pleads, his voice cracking with emotion. "Let me explain. It wasn't what you think. I didn't...I didn't do anything."

But his words fall on deaf ears as you struggle to make sense of the chaos swirling inside your head.

How could Spencer betray you like this? How could he let someone else touch him in that way?

As the truth begins to dawn on you, a wave of anger washes over you, hot and relentless. You push yourself away from Spencer, your chest heaving with the effort to draw breath.

"Don't," you choke out, your voice barely a whisper. "Don't touch me."

But Spencer refuses to give up, his eyes burning with determination as he reaches for you once more. "Please," he begs, his voice raw with emotion. "Let me explain. It wasn't me. It was her."

You place a trembling hand on your chest, trying to steady your racing heart as you struggle to catch your breath.

"How could you?" you utter, your voice barely above a whisper, the words heavy with accusation and pain.

Spencer's eyes are full of anguish as tears well up in his eyes. He reaches out to you, his hand hovering in the air between you, a silent plea for forgiveness that you're not sure you're ready to grant.

But before you can respond, JJ appears at the top of the stairs, her mouth open as if she's about to say something. But then, with a quick shake of her head, she closes her mouth and walks past the two of you without a word.

You stare after her in disbelief, your mind reeling with confusion and hurt.

You struggle to make sense of the situation. You knew of the hostage situation with JJ and how she had professed her love for Spencer. But you also remember how Spencer immediately came to you, confessing everything and reassuring you of his love for you.

He spent the whole night telling you every detail of what happened, assuring you that his heart belonged to you and you alone. He made it clear that you were the one he loved, not JJ.

So what happened? How could he be kissing her now, after everything he said and everything you've been through together?

With a shaky breath, you push yourself up from the stairs, your muscles tense with the effort to contain the storm raging within you. You want to flee, to distance yourself from him and the shattered remnants of your trust.

But before you can take a single step, Spencer's voice cuts through the tumultuous haze of your thoughts, pleading with you to stay. His words are a desperate plea for understanding, for a chance to explain the inexplicable.

"Please," he implores, his voice cracking with emotion. "Don't leave. I need to explain. I swear, it wasn't what it looked like. You have to believe me."

You hesitate, torn between the desire to escape and the need for answers. Despite the overwhelming pain coursing through your veins, there's a part of you that still craves the truth, no matter how agonizing it may be.

You groan loudly, the weight of the situation bearing down on you like a leaden blanket. Your mind races with a million questions, each one more painful than the last.

But for now, you're too overwhelmed to process anything.

With another loud groan, you turn and begin to make your way back upstairs, your steps heavy with exhaustion and despair.

You can feel Spencer's eyes boring into your back, his silent plea for you to stay echoing in the empty stairwell.

As you reach the top of the stairs, you don't look back, you enter the apartment and your only thought is to find a moment of solace in the solitude of the bathroom.

With trembling hands, you shut the door behind you, the click of the lock a final barrier between you and the chaos that threatens to consume you.

And as you sit there, trembling and broken, you realize that there's something about Spencer, something in the depths of his eyes that compelled you to stay, to hear him out.

It's a trust that runs deeper than words.

As you emerge from the bathroom after a few minutes, the weight of the silence between you and Spencer hangs heavy in the air.

You find him on the couch, his leg shaking uncontrollably, his fingers fidgeting nervously. His face is etched with worry and pain, mirroring the tumult of emotions raging inside you both.

He gave you space, just as he always did. It's one of the things you've always admired about him, his ability to recognize when you needed time to process and heal.

But now, as you sit in the armchair nearby, staring at him with a mix of curiosity and apprehension, you can't help but feel the need for answers, for some semblance of understanding in the chaos that surrounds you.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Spencer speaks. His voice is hoarse with emotion, the words tumbling out in a rush as if he's been holding them back for far too long.

"She just showed up," he begins, his voice barely above a whisper. "Out of nowhere, she started talking about how she loves me and how she was stupid for ignoring it for so long. She said she couldn't pretend anymore..."

You listen in stunned silence, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. So it wasn't Spencer who initiated the kiss, it was JJ.

But why?

As Spencer continues to speak, his words are a desperate attempt to make sense of the madness that has engulfed your lives, you find yourself drawn to him, to the vulnerability etched into every line of his face.

Despite the pain and betrayal that still lingers between you, there's a part of you that can't help but empathize with his plight.

As Spencer falls silent, his eyes searching yours for some sign of forgiveness or understanding, you find yourself grappling with a whirlwind of emotions.

Hurt, betrayal, and confusion war with a lingering sense of empathy and love for the man sitting before you.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart and collect your thoughts. "Spencer," you begin, your voice barely above a whisper, "I... I don't know what to say."

His eyes widen in anticipation, his expression a mixture of hope and fear. "I understand," he murmurs, his voice laced with regret. "I know I've hurt you, and I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I need time," you finally say, your voice trembling with emotion. "I need time to process everything, to figure out where we go from here."

Spencer nods solemnly, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I understand," he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. "Take all the time you need. I'll be here, waiting for you."

With a heavy sigh, you push yourself up from the armchair, your limbs feeling like lead. "I'm going to go," you say, your voice barely a whisper. "I just... I need some space."

Spencer nods, his gaze following you as you make your way to the door. "I'll be here," he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper. "I love you."

You pause in the doorway, the weight of his words hanging in the air between you. "I love you too," you murmur, your voice choked with emotion.

And with that, you step out into the cool night air, the weight of the world heavy on your shoulders.

As you make your way home, you can't help but wonder will it ever be the same between the two of you?

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stylesparker · 1 year

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take my hand and I’ll take yours too

PAIRING: Steve Harrington x Bestfriend!Reader

WORD COUNT: 4.6k

WARNINGS: fem!reader, friends to lovers, so much mutual pining, more angst than fluff, MAJOR hurt/comfort, graphic character death—through nightmares (no one actually dies)

His breathing is so quiet it makes you think he’s not even breathing at all. The only tell that he’s still here is the slow rise and fall of his chest—something you only noticed once you tried to find it.

Despite being in the safety of Steve’s bed—and him by your side—your fear still keeps you up in the middle of the night. Every time you toss and turn, you’re afraid it’ll wake him up, but you think he’s definitely out like a rock. It would probably take an explosion to wake him up right now.

The two of you had a long day. So did the kids, but being the designated babysitters, you were the ones who had the right to collapse as soon as you got in the house.

After… everything, it’s been a silent agreement between you and Steve that you’d stay with him at his house for the time being. The bed sharing had not been planned, but Steve had insisted. He claimed having someone near helped him sleep better, but you knew he was doing it for you.

He’s not the one with the nightmares.

But tonight it seems, he is.

You didn’t catch it at first; you had rolled away with your back facing him, so the mumbling fell on deaf ears. It was only a matter of seconds later when you heard him sit up out of bed with a fearful gasp and sobs racking his chest. You had turned over in a heartbeat, making eye contact with Steve, and your heart immediately shattering to pieces.

You never want to see that heartbroken look on his face ever again.

“Steve..?” You ask gently. His tears haven’t stopped, the hand that’s gripping your thigh grips tighter, almost like he’s making sure you’re real.

You’re alive.

His movement is slow, but you get the hint pretty quickly. You wrap your arms around him and pull him into your chest, holding him tight against you like you’ll never let go. His own arms had wrapped around your middle, squeezing every couple of seconds. He breathes quick, his chest pounding rapidly against yours, almost making you afraid he’s gonna give himself a heart attack.

“Babe, you’re alright, it’s alright..” you whisper quietly, so not to disturb him. His tears have already stopped, but you can tell he’s still afraid. His eyes close at the feeling of your hand scratching his head.

“You’re okay,” he mumbles softly, digging his head further into your neck. It makes you want to cry.

He doesn’t deserve this.

You give him a couple of extra moments until his breathing has slowed down and he’s not in quite such a panic anymore.

“You wanna talk?” Your voice is soft, making his insides melt at the sound of it. You don’t realize how much you’ve already helped him, you just try to copy what he does for you.

He shakes his head, “I’m okay, really.”

You don’t believe him, but you don’t question him further. You just hold each other in the dark.

The room is silent until he whispers, “You weren’t sleeping were you.”

Your silence is his answer.

…

The kids thinks there’s something wrong with Steve.

Robin knows there’s something wrong with you.

Since they know Robin probably spends the most time with the two of you, they go to her. They aren’t expecting the answer Robin gives them.

“I think..” she groans, “god, I feel so bad for telling you guys this—I think Y/N is having nightmares.”

They’re faces drop open, they’re hearts shattering just a little bit.

“Wait, what?” Dustin asks sadly. He exchanges a glance with Max and Lucas.

“Shit,” Lucas says, “We thought-”

Max shoves him in the shoulder.

Dustin squints at the two of them, obviously knowing what he was going to say, but not wanting to bring it up right now. He looks back to a guilty Robin.

“Steve, too?”

She shrugs, “I’m not sure, Y/N hasn’t said anything about him, but he said hers have been pretty bad. They’ve been staying at his house for the past couple weeks.”

“It’s probably like us,” Max says, “don’t want to sleep alone anymore…”

The other two nod their heads in agreement.

“Look, when Y/N comes in for her shift I’ll ask her how they’ve been doing. I don’t think I’ll get an answer, but I’ll try. ‘Kay?”

They trudge out the door, and Robin sighs. She hopes they don’t tell you she told them.

It’s about a half hour later she hears the chime of the bell indicating a customer. When she looks, it’s you, as expected.

With a lack of better terms, you look horrible.

Your hair looks nice, as always, but you look the most sleep deprived then you ever have. She can see the dark circles under your eyes from a mile away. You give her a tight lipped smile and head to the back to drop your bag off. Robin tenses in preparation.

“Hey, cupcake, how’ve you been?”

She hasn’t seen you in almost two days. Maybe she should’ve tried calling an extra couple of times.

You slide your hands across the front of your shirt and wave, coming up next to her at the desk.

You nod unconvincingly, “Good. You?”

“Good!” She nods with a smile. It’s comforting. But you’re not stupid.

Your fake smile slips from your face and the sadness appears quickly in your eyes.

“You can ask.”

Robin’s facade also slips, and she steps closer to you, dropping a hand on one shoulder.

“I won’t,” she shakes her head, “but you need to talk to me.” You gulp. “You look like shit.”

You laugh, which brings a smile to her face. But the split second of happiness is quickly gone when you remember you have to tell her.

“It’s Steve.”

Robin thinks she already knows.

“Shit,” she huffs, “so now you’re both losing sleep.”

“I don’t know how to help him,” your eyes well with tears, and Robin holds you closer, “he’s so much better a-at helping me when I have them, I-I don’t know how I’m gonna get him through this-”

Robin turns more stern than you’ve ever seen her, “Y/N, this isn’t all on you. I love you guys, but you shitheads are stubborn as hell. You guys need to accept more help. I’ve been at Nancy’s this past week, even Eddie has stopped by and seen the kids. Those kiddos would love to have you guys around again, they’re missing you.”

You wipe your tears, and nod your head in understanding.

“I know..” you mumble. “We just don’t want to scare them.”

“I thinks it’s scaring them even more now that you’re not around.”

You sigh, taking a deep breath.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“We’ll come by tonight,” you nod, “have all the kids been there?”

“All of ‘em. Jane has been prone to eating more eggos than ever.”

You chuckle at the thought of her.

Robin wants to ask if there’s a reason the two of you have holed up together apart from everyone else, but she thinks better of it. She probably knows why better than you do.

You hope maybe sleeping in the same house as everyone will help you guys a bit, ease your nerves.

“I’ll tell Steve when I get home.”

Robin catches it before you do.

Home.

…

The gravel crunches loudly under the tires of Steve’s car. You get bumped a little bit as he pulls into the Wheeler’s driveway, but it goes unnoticed, you’re a little out of it.

Steve’s been able to tell the whole ride there. His gaze had been glancing between you and the road the whole time.

“You ready?” He grabs your hand, rubbing it softly.

“Yeah,” you reassure, “just… nervous.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“What if-” you look to him anxiously.

“We just won’t sleep in the same room as them so one of us doesn’t wake them up. Nancy will understand,” he assures you, “don’t worry.”

You try not to think about it as you pull your hand out of his and swing open the door. As you walk up the pavement, you wonder if the butterflies in your stomach are from nervousness or just him.

The kids are so happy to see you, maybe more so Steve, but you can’t seem to care. Dustin practically knocks him down when he gets two feet inside the door, and Jane is quick to run over and give you a tight hug. Max follows soon after, putting her arms around the both of you in a sweet manner.

“What, have you gone soft on me, Madmax?”

You hear a quiet mumble of never, which makes you giggle and hug the two of them tighter. When they let go, Steve is huffing and puffing to shove the little twerp off of him, and Lucas is pulling at his arm to give him a turn. The other two boys are waiting to greet you patiently.

“Hey, y/n/n,” Mike says softly. Will rushes forward to give you a hug before he pulls away again, but you’re glad you got anything at all.

“Hey Mikey,” you tease, ruffling his hair much to his disappointment while you lean down and give Will a swift kiss on the forehead. “Where’s your sister?”

“In the kitchen with Jonathan. Robin and Eddie aren’t here yet.”

Dustin takes you by surprise when he collides with your backside and squeezes the shit out of you.

“Never leave us again,” he mutters. You twist around and pat him on the head like a puppy.

“We’ve never left you, kiddo,” you tell him softly. You catch Steve’s eye and he’s watching you guys with fondness. Your guys attention gets pulled when you hear loud laughter from the kitchen. Steve walks by your side as you enter the room, catching Nancy in an embrace with her boyfriend.

“Hey lovebirds,” you call. Their heads turn and they give each other a suspicious side eye.

“Hey yourselves,” Nancy says. She giggles and rushes to you. “It’s nice to see you.”

“You too, Nance,” Steve says back.

Before you get a chance to talk to Jonathan, Nancy pulls you into her living room around the corner where you’re out of sight from the others.

“I figured you guys didn’t want to stay in the basement so I got a room ready for you if you want to put your stuff in there.”

“Oh, cool, yeah, that’s fine,” you reply. “I was gonna ask you anyway, I don’t want to bother the kids while they’re sleeping.”

She arches an eyebrow.

“Oh, god- Nance!” You act like your gagging, “seriously?”

“What? You implied it.”

“I did not!”

“Okay, so then what did you mean,” she crosses her arms with a smirk on her face.

You huff, peeking around the corner to make sure no one was listening. “We’ve been… having nightmares lately.”

Her arms drop and she looks at you comfortingly.

“Babe, we have too.”

“You have?”

“Yeah, we all have. It hasn’t been easy. If you guys need anything just let me know, I know how bad they can get. Max had a pretty bad one last night.”

You sigh, “Yeah, so did Steve.”

She lets you go with a soft smile, just in time when Steve rounds the corner.

“Hey, they’re going downstairs if you wanna go,” he says it with a smile.

“Yeah! I’m right behind you.”

During the rest of the evening, you have multiple moments when you realize you haven’t laughed or had this much fun in a long while. The fun had really started when the last two remaining friends of the party had shown up, and finally everyone was in one room again, together. It took you too long to realize how fast these people had become a family to you, and maybe things would have gotten better sooner if you hadn’t pulled away. Everything just feels better, lighter, like you don’t have the weight of the world on your shoulders and aren’t watching every step you take.

It’s easy to let go when Steve has an arm around your shoulder and Robin sits back in between your legs; when Dustin is trying to shove a warm muffin down Eddie’s throat and Jane has her head laying gently in Will’s lap; when Nancy is tugging back the skirt Mike tried to steal and Lucas is making heart eyes at Max. Even when life feels so hard, it also feels like it’s the easiest thing to get through when you have so many things that can bring joy.

You could tell around 10 o’clock Jane, Will, and Robin were getting pretty tired. The others weren’t, but they knew it was probably best if everyone went down together. Eddie was already zonked out on the couch so Nancy threw a fluffy green blanket over him to keep him comfortable. Jonathan was already leading Jane and Will upstairs to get their pillows when Mike had taken notice and followed quickly behind. Everyone else either had a room upstairs or their sleeping arrangements already made on the floor.

Lucas had sadly, but also willingly, given up his chair bed for Max, which she had thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. You don’t think you’ve ever seen the kid so flustered.

“Night guys,” Dustin loudly whispers as Nancy shut the lights off.

“Night, Dustin,” you whisper back, much more quietly than he did, but you get a nice toothy grin in return. Steve ruffles his hair before he leads you to the stairs, which gets him a loud complaint and a smack on his calf. Robin squeezes your hand before going off in her own direction, and the boy attached to your side leads you to the room made for the both of you.

It wasn’t exactly a disappointment to find only one bed. For either of you.

“You can use the bathroom first,” he offers, standing with his hands in his pockets at the end of the bed.

“Thanks,” you reply softly, taking your clothes to change into in the bathroom. You try to clean up quickly, but it’s about a half hour later that you emerge and you find Steve, cleaned up, and snuggled in on the right side of the bed.

When he looks at you, you can’t tell what he’s thinking. But his hair looks freshly cleaned and it doesn’t look like he has a shirt on, so you don’t dwell on it for too long. With the darkness flooded in the room, and the only source of light coming from the bathroom and the moon, you hope he can’t tell how anxious you look.

He can, but he doesn’t mention it. He didn’t want to ruin the comfortable silence that fell upon the two of you. When you came out of the bathroom looking fresh with happiness and a towel on your head, he thought he couldn’t be looking at anything cuter. He just guilty wished the big t-shirt that adorned your torso would just ride up your thighs an inch more so he could see the softness of them.

He tears his eyes away just as you tell him, “I’m glad I don’t have to shove you off my side of the bed tonight.” You flop on your stomach somehow gently onto the bed next to him, scooting yourself up just so your head ghosts over the skin of his thighs underneath the blankets. He wishes he hadn’t gotten under the covers.

You have a shy grin adorning your features when you add, “Sorry I took so long.”

Steve waves it off, “No big deal, I got to steal Robin’s shower. She wasn’t too happy with me, though.” He feels accomplished when it makes you laugh. Your head drops onto his thighs for a moment, and he curses when you lift it far too soon.

It’s quiet again until you lift yourself off the bed to take your towel off. He takes this moment to watch you until you shut the light off and walk back over. You face him when you get under the covers, and he shifts himself so his arm is under his head and he can actually face you too.

He beams when your foot ghosts near his. He boldly reaches out to tuck your hair behind your ear, which earns him a slight blush.

“Sleep,” he murmurs.

You shake your head softly, “Not yet.”

Now that his hair looks more dry it flops when he shifts again, and gives you questioning glance. You hate that he looks so pretty.

“What do ya’ wanna talk about then?” He asks.

You shrug. You hope you don’t upset him with what you’re going to ask next.

“What was your nightmare about, Steve?”

He could tell it took you a minute to ask that question. He knows he shouldn’t lie, so he takes a deep breath.

“Us.”

“Us?”

“You.”

Your lips pout, and they look so soft, all he wants to do is rub his thumb over them.

“I scared you?”

“No, honey,” he sighs, “I was scared for you.”

Your mouth makes an ‘o’ shape and you don’t say anything else. You look like you feel bad and he wishes you didn’t.

He continues, “Do you remember.. when we were in that stolen van, and I was telling you about that dream I had?”

You nod. “The six little nuggets.”

He laughs, “Yeah.. that.”

“Do you still wish for that?”

He shrugs, “I think so. Maybe not six, but I think I want a big family.” He takes a moment to add, “I think it’s because I didn’t really have one growing up.”

Your eyes soften incredibly more than they already are and your hand rests on top of his, “I get that.”

He debates telling you the real reason he brought this up, but decides against it. It would be too much.

You can see the conflict in his eyes, and take it for what you think it is.

“You don’t have to tell me about the dream, Stevie.”

His eyes find yours again and he has to fight not to kiss you on the spot. Your voice makes his heart beat so fast he feels it might fly out of his chest into your open hands.

“We didn’t make it out,” he starts. He grabs hold of your hand for comfort. You run your hand over his to keep him going. “I don’t know... if I did, but you didn’t.”

He notices you holding your breath.

“We had just got Eddie, and we were all running, and we were all screaming at each other to keep going, we were almost there. But... I felt your hand slip out of mine and suddenly you were gone,” he clears his throat, “I could see you getting higher in the sky, like three bats had gotten you, and you were screaming my name over and over, and I couldn’t get to you. One minute I was chasing after you and the next...” he blows air out of his mouth, “You were on the ground bleeding. I had you in my arms and you weren’t moving, it didn’t even look like you were breathing. When you woke, you just stared at me, you held my hand, and you comforted me.”

You made sure the small tear that fell out of your eye was quickly wiped away before he could notice it.

“No matter how much I screamed, no matter how many times I told you not to close your eyes, your breathing stopped and your eyes went blank. You were cold in my arms, and suddenly nothing else mattered. I couldn’t move.”

Steve doesn’t realize you’re moving until your head is an inch away from his, and your warm hand was placed on his cheek.

“I’m here,” you say softly. He closes his eyes and tries to push away the memory of the dream, leaning forward that extra inch to touch his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just... stay with me.”

“Okay.”

...

“Steve? Steve!” Your breathing is harsh, you can’t see, and none of the others are around. The others had separated from the two of you; gone on their bikes and rode away to find the gate. It didn’t matter this felt unfamiliar, this was real, it had to be.

Each step you took made a creak on the stairs, causing you to cringe and stop every time, afraid something would dart out of the shadows and take you away before you could locate Steve. You called his name one more time, but again, there was no answer.

Sweat beaded against your brow, and you held your knife closer to your chest. You didn’t risk taking your jacket off to try and lead off some heat, you knew your eyes had to stay sharp. The walls were still covered in the vines you remembered, or whatever they were. They moved and made weird noises that had you catching your breath and looking into the other room.

The floorboards beneath your feet creaked again, but this time, you heard a scream. A loud, painful scream that vibrated through your body, from your head to your toes, and had you perking up, on edge.

That was Steve.

You were running up the rest of the stairs in an instant, almost tripping over your own feet to get to him.

“STEVE! STEVE! I’m here! I’M HERE!” You almost wish you hadn’t turned the corner at the top of the steps.

There, hanging in mid air, was Steve. You didn’t know where Vecna was, but there you could see your boy with his head upturned toward the ceiling, no movements being made.

“Shit, shit, shit, oh my god-” you fumbled around with your jacket to find the tape for him, but it wasn’t in the pocket you left it in. What were you gonna do if you didn’t have his music?

“Steve, baby, hear me. Listen to my voice. Steve!” You couldn’t even reach his feet, he was just too high for you to grab a foot to try and pull him down. When you thought, maybe, just maybe something was working, your greatest horror played out in front of you.

You could barely look as his bones started cracking, the sound filling your ears and making you remember what it felt like to lose the man you loved. He fell to the ground in an instant, making no signs of life.

You dropped to your knees in next to him, not having the ability to stop the uncontrollable sobs that leave your chest in the moments after.

You can see him, there, in the corner of your vision, lingering, waiting.

For you.

“GO! Leave!” You scream at the top your lungs, falling on top of Steve’s body.

“Y/N.” He says. You can’t hear him, you won’t.

“Y/N!” This can’t be it.

“Y/N!” You’re gasping and clawing at anything around you, your tears clouding anything you might be able to see.

“Steve! STEVE!”

You feel arms holding you so tight around your middle, trying to wrangle your arms in the process.

You can’t really tell what you’re doing, you just feel wet tears streaming down your face and a huge pressure on your chest.

“Baby, breath. You need to breath. C’mon.”

That’s... Steve?

Your hands go to your head, trying to cover your ears, but whoever has you won’t have it. You’re trying to get out of their hold, but you don’t really know why. It’s so hard to grasp at anything.

“Y/N, listen to me. It’s me, baby, it’s Steve.”

You take a shuttering breath, and suddenly, you’re no longer in the attic of that house. You’re in a bed, and there’s legs in front of you that aren’t yours. You lean your head back and it hits a chest, you don’t really feel yourself moving anymore.

“That’s it, c’mon, come back to me. You’re okay.”

The voice is so soothing. It’s gentle, it’s comforting, and it’s definitely Steve.

“Steve?” Your voice sounds so broken, so tired, it makes his tears fall faster. The sound of your screaming had woken him up, his fight or flight immediately sending him into over drive. The fear that had flooded through him when he thought something was happening to you, he didn’t know what to think when all of a sudden you started hitting him.

You weren’t awake yet.

You scratched, and you hit, and you clawed at his arms, but he was stronger than you and was able to pin them to your sides. He was able to get you into his lap and hold you tight against his chest, hoping the feeling of his skin and the pressure he was putting on your chest would calm you down. It took a minute but he realized you were finally starting to get a grip when your hands had landed softly on his thighs. The Steve that had left your lips made him hug you tighter. He didn’t dare let go until he knew you weren’t gonna hurt yourself anymore.

The rocking helped, you sort of felt like a baby, but god did it help. You could open your eyes and see your surroundings. Your breathing had finally slowed, and most of the panic was gone.

“Shhh, you’re okay, you’re okay, just breathe.”

You held his hands, holding onto them like they were a lifeline. You whimpered when he let go to wipe your tears, and you quickly turned in his hold to look at his face.

Steve knew it was bad but your eyes, they were so red, you looked so wrecked, he knew this one had to have been the worst one you’ve ever had. When you took notice of the marks on his arms, you started crying again.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

“It’s alright, it’s alright, you didn’t hurt me, I’m okay.” He grabbed your face and started kissing it all over, blocking you from seeing what you had done and hopefully distracting you in the process. When you tried to pull away he didn’t let you, only tugged on you until you fell into him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. One hand cradled the back of your head while the other rubbed up and down soothingly on your back; your whimpers had died down to only a few.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” you repeated it so many times he didn’t know if it would stop.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Just listen to my voice, baby.”

You slowly started to feel better; you didn’t know how long it had been, but it had to have been awhile before you lifted your head to look at the boy in front of you. You hated how worried he looked.

He must know. He had to.

You told him anyway.

“You died.” He nodded his head and wiped your tears.

“I’m fine.”

“You can’t die, Steve,” You begged firmly. “I wouldn’t survive.”

Maybe it was you, maybe it was him, but both of you knew you needed it and neither one of you was gonna stop it.

The kiss was brutal, all teeth and desperation. There was a fire burning in your chest and now Steve was burning with you. You clung to each other as if some magnetic force was going to try and pull you away from each other. You knew nothing would separate you from him right now, not this instant. He pulled away first, and calmed you down when you tried to chase the trace of his lips.

“Nothing could ever take me away from you, my love,” he whispers.

“Then kiss me like we’re never going to be apart again,” your whisper back is desperate, and he knows it.

You don’t have to tell him again.

#ooH BOY #I’m coming back to this when I need hurt/comfort #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve stranger things #steve harrington angst #stranger things fanfiction

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creedslove · 3 months

Note

BABE JOELLL PLEASEEEE JOEEEELLL. If you can maybe post-outbreak!Joel (?). Like he’s been with reader on the road with Ellie before they came to Jackson and they had like a thing going on. Once they settled down they decided that they would’ve been better off as just friends and Joel finds another woman (like closer to his age ecct) but Joel and reader were still close to each other and Joel’s new woman is jealous and asks him to chose between her and the reader

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: love this anon, this idea is genius!

• life on the road trying to survive wasn't easy for anybody, not since the world ended and the ones who hadn't died had to fight unimaginable horrors to survive so it was common for people to get cozy with each other, looking for some comfort, warmth and maybe a little pleasure

• and that was exactly what happened between you and Joel while the two of you plus Ellie crossed the country in order to find Tommy and settle in Jackson

• Joel wasn't the warmest guy nor the most friendly you'd met, but he was loyal, protective and he was a fine damn lover for someone who'd been striving with the basics for twenty years into the apocalypse, however, getting to know this side of Joel took time, as he didn't want to open up to you or let you get closer, but once it happened, he felt he needed you on a daily basis

• you didn't actually label your relationship with him, of course you slept together, you kissed and cuddled and you would die and kill for each other without a second thought but you wouldn't dare calling Joel your boyfriend and he would rather have someone holding him at gunpoint than to acknowledge exactly what nature of feelings he felt for you, let out word them out

• but it worked through all the excruciating crusade you shared until you reached your final destination, there wasn't a day Joel hadn't had his arms wrapped around you, keeping your warm when fires weren't a safe option out in the open, or when your body gave him the release he craved, intoxicated in your embraced, giving Joel what he needed but refused to admit

• when you three got to Jackson, a couple of days went by while Joel was getting acquainted with his brother again and you and Ellie were catching up on much needed sleep and skipped meals after all that time on the road

• so when Joel finally saw you again without being in a rush, his heart skipped a beat: you were so beautiful, too beautiful, the kind of beautiful that made his chest tighten

• of course he knew you were beautiful, he was attracted to you after all, but seeing you looking so carefree, happy, well-fed, cleaned up and wearing fresh new clothes made him realize how way out of his league you really were; not only that, he could also see how other men looked at you and he felt so guilty

• guilty because you were way too pretty and young for him, guilty because you were full of life and you deserved to have a chance of living a happy life now you found a place where life could be almost normal, guilty because he felt it would be a matter of time until one of those young men would sweep you off your feet because they could offer you something Joel couldn't: stability and a possibility of having a family

• so he made up his mind and when you tried sneaking into his bed at night, to finally manage to spend time with him in a comfortable mattress, where you didn't need to hump each other in your jeans in fear of having to escape, he stopped you and took your hand

• those sad cow eyes of his being honest as he told you you would be better off as friends, assuring you he would always care for you, protect you and keep you in his heart forever and it shattered his heart when he saw how bad you were holding back your tears not to cry in front of him, but eventually you agreed, there was nothing you could do, you couldn't force Joel to stay in a relationship with you, it was madness so you thanked him for your time together and promised you wouldn't push him away

• as you moved into your own place, you missed Joel so much, Ellie was still hoovering over you all the time, which was great, you were so thankful for that, and even Joel who tried making some kind of distance would stop by regularly to check on you, have a cup of coffee and grab a meal together

• until you found out Joel was seeing another woman; at first you chuckled to yourself, it sounded crazy to you, but when Ellie arrived at your place complaining about the "annoying cunt" - her words, not yours - Joel started to see, your heart sank in your chest

• you swallowed hard and felt yourself so lost at that moment, it was so difficult to keep pretending you didn't have deeper feelings for Joel, but as long as he was still visiting and you shared that same tension, you still had hopes, but learning he was seeing someone else, was like an ice bucket poured over you, it meant it was over because if he liked her, it meant he didn't like you

• so you decided to look for more information on her and you found out her name was Heather, she had been part of the community since the beginning and she was closer in age to Joel, which made you upset, as you were convinced he didn't want you anymore

• Joel, on the other hand, didn't actually want to meet nor date anyone but Tommy insisted he should go out and meet someone and preferably get laid. He also didn't understand why his brother had decided to break up with you,but since it was done, he knew Heather would be a good fit for Joel

• Heather was... Alright. They were almost the same age which was nice to be able to talk to someone who actually lived a life before the outbreak, remembered the same things and used to watch the same movies and shows, he was also good looking and gentle, but she wasn't you

• she wasn't as beautiful as you were, she wasn't as patient and funny, she didn't have the same corky sense of humor you did or how you could simply overlook all the bad things Joel had done, truth to be told, he wasn't in love with her as he was in love with you

• and as much as he tried to bury deep those feelings, it seemed more and more difficult, and he caught himself unable to simply stay away from you, he couldn't, he was just around you all the time

• it was uncommon to see you walking alongside the streets, Joel often walked you to your job, or picked you up even if it was perfectly safe and he didn't actually need to do this, not to mention the evenings he would either go to your porch and play some guitar just to enjoy your company or invite you to his so you would watch Ellie having her guitar lessons

• and as much as Heather tried being understanding about it, she simply couldn't. She could tell her boyfriend wasn't that her, but then him being in love with another woman was a whole other level

• so she waited for Ellie to go to bed and for you to leave his porch and knocked on his door

"Joel, you and I aren't kids anymore, what are we really doing? Because I started dating you thinking that maybe we would hit off, but this is clearly not working, you gotta make up your mind, Joel!"

"what do you mean?!"

"you know exactly what I mean, Joel! It's either her or me, you gotta decide, because I'm not gonna be here watching you going back to her every time"

• Heather finally says and Joel lowers his head, he looks around then back at her, he couldn't lie anymore, not to her, not to you and mostly not to himself

"I'm sorry Heather, it's her, it's always been her, there's no way I could choose anyone else but her"

• he said and left, he wanted to see you as soon as possible hoping he could still make things right with the woman he truly loved, you 💞

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal headcanon #pedro pascal headcanons #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller headcanons #joel miller headcanon

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jebetwo · 4 months

Text

"he calls you clingy" — LEE HEESEUNG

SYNOPSIS - in which, you and Heeseung, long-time friends turned lovers, find yourselves navigating uncharted territory. Amid weeks of separation and unexplained absences, you try to rekindle your relationship with Heeseung. However, the night takes an unexpected turn as emotions unfold.

angst, oneshot | wc 1.1k

You and Heeseung have been attached at the hip long before your relationship started. Your deepened friendship blossomed into a love so strong, nothing could shatter it. Both of you were apprehensive to start a relationship, fearing that it could potentially ruin a friendship that you both cherished more than anything. Heeseung, though afraid, reassured you that his love for you will never falter.

“Nothing will change.”

That’s why these last couple of weeks have felt so foreign to you.

You stood outside Heeseung's apartment, your heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. It had been weeks since the two of you managed to spend quality time together. Excuses of work commitments and unexpected obligations had become the unwelcome third wheel in your relationship, causing missed dates and unanswered texts.

Determined to break through the walls that seemed to be growing between you, you decided to surprise Heeseung at his place. The idea of catching him off guard and spending an unplanned evening together filled you with hope. You held a bag of his favorite snacks and drinks in hopes you guys can relax and reconnect comfortably.

As you entered his apartment building and entered the elevator, you couldn't shake the feeling of nervousness. The past few weeks had left you longing for the closeness you once shared. When the elevator finally reached the 12th floor, you kept convincing yourself the entire way to his door that everything will be okay; this was your Heeseung after all. You took a deep breath and knocked softly.

The door swung open to reveal Heeseung, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Hey," you greeted him with a smile, holding up the bag. "I thought we could spend some time together tonight."

Heeseung's expression shifted, a fleeting moment of discomfort crossing his features.

"Oh, hey. I, uh, wasn't expecting anyone." He glanced back into his apartment, seemingly hesitant.

Ignoring the subtle hesitation, you stepped inside, hoping to bridge the growing gap.

"I brought your favorite snacks," you said, holding them up with a hopeful smile.

Heeseung managed a small smile in return, but something in his eyes hinted at distraction.

"That's nice, but I'm kinda in the middle of something right now."

You followed him into his room, the atmosphere feeling strangely tense. This room used to feel like your own home, but now it feels strangely cold and foreign. Heeseung sat at his desk, eyes fixed on the glowing screen, hands gripping the controller. You sighed mentally; all this time of not hanging out and all he’s been doing was games? What happened to the work he blamed for his absence? Does he not feel the distance between you two?

Shaking the thoughts away you approached him, placing the snacks on the desk.

“Can’t it wait for a bit? We haven’t hung out properly in weeks.” You spoke softly as you rubbed his shoulder lightly.

Heeseung sighed, not tearing his gaze away from the game, shrugging his shoulder to rid your hand. You moved your hand away, slightly shocked at his sudden reaction.

"I told you, I've got a lot on my plate. Can we do this later?" Without waiting for your response, he continued playing, effectively shutting you out. “A lot on my plate?” You thought to yourself. Hardly.

Time had passed, yet no sign of conversation peeked from Heeseung. Hurt and frustration bubbled within you. You tried to engage him, standing by his desk, attempting to initiate conversation. Each time, he brushed you off with a curt response or a distracted nod. After a few failed attempts, you retreated to his bed, hoping to find a way to connect.

As you lay there, scrolling through your phone, the minutes turned into an agonizing silence. You glanced at Heeseung, hoping for a sign that he'd soon be ready to give you the attention you craved.

"Hee, please, baby, come on," you implored, "just get off the game for a little bit? We haven't seen each other in a while, and I just miss my boyfriend. Just lay with me for an hour? Thirty minutes even? Hmm?"

Heeseung huffed angrily, frustration evident in his voice. He tears his eyes off the screen for the first time this night, venom laced in his voice as he speaks. "God, Y/N, have you always been this clingy? I'm just playing some fucking games. It's bad enough you forced your way into a hangout today."

His words hung in the air, a sharp contrast to the love and warmth you once shared. Shock rooted you in place, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. The person you sought solace and connection with had just labeled you as clingy, and the weight of the accusation left your heart sinking. It wasn’t just the word clingy, but the anger so harsh in his tone — he’d never spoken to you like this, you wouldn’t have ever thought that this was your boyfriend, your best friend, your Heeseung.

Unable to find the words to respond, you stood in silence, your vulnerability laid bare.

“Are you serious?” Your voice swayed as tears filled your eyes, “Me? Clingy? Hee,” you took a deep breath in; breath shaking with anger, upset, sadness before continuing.

“I’ve done nothing but give you the space you’ve so desperately been wanting despite you not uttering me a single word as to why. You treat me like a stranger and I don’t know why. Was it something I did? Why won’t you talk to me?” The room seemed to close in around you as the reality of the situation sank in – the distance between you and Heeseung was not just physical but emotional. The foundation you once built together appeared to be crumbling, and the pain of rejection stung deep.

Heeseung glanced your way, his expression softening for a moment, but the damage had been done. The words hung in the air, an unspoken barrier between you. The room felt even colder than before, and the hope that fueled your surprise visit had withered away, leaving a void that seemed impossible to fill.

“Forget it.” You said quietly, but the words felt like it was echoing off the walls. You make your way to the door of his room, the door staring back at you taunts your exit.

You leave him, his room, his apartment, finally letting the tears you held in flow. As you walked out, you hoped to hear running footsteps become louder as they embarked towards you — a shout of your name. But all you were left with was the taunting sound of the rain slapping against the concrete and on your skin, the loud gusts of wind exploring your hair and body.

You fear not only losing your boyfriend, but your best friend, and your entire world. Sure, you could fix an ordinary argument and maybe clingy isn’t enough to end a relationship. But yet your body shook with the cold and the emotions of feeling so unwanted and unloved, so abruptly by the one person you’ve truly ever felt wanted and loved by.

a/n - this fic may look familiar to some of you and it's because it's a reupload from my other blog! i accidentally deleted my account (don’t ask i’m in mourning T_T)

i’ve made some changes as i only had my rough draft of the one i posted bc i (stupidly enough) made my good draft edits straight on tumblr … soooo this gave me an opportunity to redo some of the parts i didn’t like and add more feel ???? idk! hope u all enjoy 🤍

#by jebetwo #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen angst #lee heeseung #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung x reader #heeseung enhypen #enha angst #enha x reader

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judgementdaysunshine · 3 months

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Double or nothing

Pairing: Dominik Mysterio x Fem reader

Description: You and Dom play a game of basketball for your real feelings for each other leading to a tender moment after the game

Gif credits to @mxmoth

Loosely based on this scene

"I'll play you" Dom looks stunned at you as you challenge him to play a game of one on one Basketball with him for your real feelings for him agreeing that if you lost that you would still be his friend and not stop him from being with his current girlfriend. The two of you had known each other since you were both 8 and have been glued to the hip since developing feelings for him when the two of you were 15 and they only grew being head over heels for him by the time you were both 18 which you both kept under wraps until the two of you got high on New Year's eve night and made out after kissing when it turned midnight, the two of you walk down not far away from his house where there was a local basketball court which was completely empty leading to the game starting out very well for you until dom picked up the last bit feeling your heart shatter when he gets the ball through the basket knowing that you loved him so much and now that last chance you had was gone turning and slowly walking away trying to keep the tears and emotions inside until you were alone "Hey.." you stop as the tears formed making your eyes blurry as you stay quiet "Double or nothing" you turn around seeing the look on his face before a smile forms on your face letting the tears flow as you walk back to him pressing a quick kiss on his lips before the two of you shared paused kisses as the emotion and passion oozes out holding each other. The two of you sway slightly while holding each other pulling away only to share a soft kiss as he holds your face wiping the tears streaks away before whispering against your lips "Don't cry bebe, you have me now you already had my heart" the words hold deep emotion as the two of you finally lose yourselves in the moment smiling as you walk back home not being able to contain your joy in seeing dom tomorrow until you hear running "Wait bebita" you turn around only to be pulled into a more frantic kiss by him "It's done...I told her" you're surprised about how much he truly loved you once those words slipped from his mouth "I want you, I've wanted you all this time but I was so stupid" the emotions poured out as you followed him back to his room throwing off clothes and unable to keep away from each other now that everything was out about your true feelings for each other as he hovers over you meeting your lips in one last kiss before slowly taking his time kissing down your body and gliding his hands exploring your body thank god the two of you were in his house instead of yours considering your sister was in the next room from your own, the moans from one or both of you softly echo throughout the room as 17 years of held in emotion, sexual tension, and passion pour out melting between him kissing you and lightly nipping on your collarbone along with him holding you to him tightly and gently made your heart shake and flip hazing out for the last few minutes coming back to dom caressing your body mumbling against your skin "Always so beautiful and even more gorgeous like this mi corazon, I love you" he gently cleans you off then himself before holding you in his arms sharing a tender kiss as you both dozed off "I love you" the next morning is spent wrapped together before breakfast and spending the day with him and his family who immediately knew and were overjoyed that finally the two of you were what you should have been long ago.

#wwe x reader #wwe #dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio

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panickingpansexuality · 1 year

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Together? Until the End

Elliott x Autistic Reader

Autistic people have the average life span of thirty-six years at least in the United States and when I'm reminded that I don't get a lot of time on Earth I get really upset. So this is an intense story of what people may need to hear. So this story talks a lot about death and self harm, you have been warned.

Also it is almost one in the morning so I am not sure if this will be any good.

It was another bad night, something that you often dealt with alone, but now that you were dating an incredibly considerate guy you didn't have to.

Elliott had come over around five to spend the night, he expected to find you outside with your cows or maybe even resting in the grass under a tree, not in bed clutching a stuffed animal to your chest like a life line.

"Love?" Elliott said, coming towards you.

You pressed your face into the stuffed animal as he came closer, Elliott sat near your knees in the bed. His presence making it a little easier for you to be cope.

He knew about your Autism and your history of self harm (he kissed most of your scars whenever he could reach them, a habit he also made when going in between your thighs), but what he didn't know about was this small piece of Autism that you didn't like to share with anyone and you were certain he didn't know.

You only found out when you were a teenager and now that you're older you felt like you didn't have hardly anytime left and you wanted it. You wanted to spend as much time as you could with him, you wanted him engraved into your soul so that in every life you'd remember how you loved each other, how safe he made you feel.

"(y/n)?" Elliott said, his voice pulling you from your thoughts.

"I have to tell you something." You say, "And I'm giving you another out, if you want to leave after I tell you then I won't judge you because no one deserves this."

Silently, Elliott grabbed your hand and squeezed it. The last time you told him this was when you two had first started to become interested in each other and it was when you told him you had autism.

You say up your one arm still clutching the stuffed animal around your chest.

"So autistic people have a shorter life expectancy.." you say unable to look up at him "We're given thirty-six years, sometimes maybe to our fifties, mainly our deaths are from suicide or heart problems...most of the time from stress of having to be "normal" in front of others."

Elliott gripped your hand as tight as he could, he took a deep breath studying the lines of your face. He felt his heart shatter in his chest, he wanted nothing more than to tuck you inside his pocket and keep you safe until you were both one-hundred.

"Can I hold you?" He asked

You nodded and you two met in the middle, your legs going around his waist, his head going to the spot in between your neck and shoulder.

"I'm don't want to leave you so early." You say crying. "I just got you. I don't want to leave you."

"You won't." Elliott said his voice broken, "You're gonna live so much longer."

"I get reminded about it every now and again," you say, "and I just get upset I'm sorry."

"No, no." Elliott said, "You're fine, you don't have to apologize, I'm glad you told me."

"Really?" You ask tears coming out of your eyes.

"Absolutely," Elliott responded, "It gives me an opportunity to insure that you will have a long and happy life. You are my entire world (y/n) and I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you here until we're both one-hundred."

You chuckle into his shoulder and kiss any part of his body you can reach without moving too much. You both move to lay on the bed, facing each other, Elliott's head above yours. His cheeks red from the tears that slipped out.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." You say, "I just..felt like it was something you deserved to know."

"It's not your fault." He said brushing the hair on your head.

"The idea of losing you is worse than any Hell that I could be put through."

"If I do die." You say, "I'd most likely leave the farm to you, you could sell it if you want or live here."

"Why on earth would you leave me anything?" He asks, "You've given me so much already."

"I plan on marrying you." You tell him, face going red, "So legally it would go to you."

Elliott tenses for a small moment and pulls away from you for a moment to look down at you and give you a soft smile.

"I'm glad we have the same plan for our futures together."

You laugh and lean up to kiss him sweetly, kisses with Elliott are always an occasion, they leave you breathless and needing more.

Quickly it becomes your hands roaming against each other wanting nothing more than to just kiss each other and keep each other grounded.

His hands go up your shirt and trace the scars from a time not yet forgotten, he leaves your lips only to go down and inspect your body to make sure you haven't relapsed.

"It's been a bad day." You say, "I'm glad you got here when you did."

"I am too." Elliott says coming back up to your lips, "Another moment away from you and I would've sold my soul to have some magic to transport me to you whenever one of us needed each other."

You roll your eyes at him, smile up at him and press another kiss on his lips.

When your make out session has ended the two of you lay in the bed, too lazy to get up and leave each other's warmth. Looking at Elliott you can't help but appreciate the time you are allowed to have with him and until he can find the fountain of youth to keep you both going for as long as he wishes, you'll just have to cherish every moment with him.

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wednesdays-child-full-of-woe · 10 months

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The Proposal at Sunset

Chapter 1: Unexpected Beginnings

The soft orange hues of the setting sun painted the sky as Lena Luthor paced nervously in her penthouse apartment. Tonight was a night that would forever change her life. She had carefully planned every detail, rehearsed her words, and now, she only awaited the arrival of someone special.

As the doorbell rang, Lena's heart skipped a beat. She smoothed her dress, took a deep breath, and opened the door to find you, the reader, standing there with a curious smile.

"Hey, Lena. What's all this about?" you asked, eyes filled with intrigue.

"Hello, my love," Lena greeted, feeling her nerves and excitement mingle. "I have something important to ask you, something that will alter our lives together. Will you come with me?"

With a nod, you agreed, letting Lena lead you to a waiting car parked outside her luxurious building. The anticipation built between you, a mixture of apprehension and eagerness hanging in the air.

Chapter 2: A Journey to Remember

The drive to Lena's secret destination was filled with laughter, gentle touches, and glances that spoke volumes. As the car rolled through the scenic countryside, the beauty of the world outside mirrored the beauty between you and Lena.

Finally, the car came to a stop at a secluded spot on a hill, overlooking a breathtaking sunset. Lena had chosen this place for its tranquility, wanting the moment to be just perfect.

As you stepped out of the car, your gaze fell upon a beautifully set-up picnic. Candles flickered, casting a soft glow, while a sumptuous array of food awaited. Lena had spared no effort in creating this magical atmosphere.

"Lena, this is amazing," you whispered, unable to contain your awe.

She smiled, her eyes reflecting both adoration and a touch of nervousness. "I'm glad you like it. But there's something more I want to share with you."

Chapter 3: The Heart's Confession

Lena guided you to sit down on a blanket spread across the grass, and you faced each other, knees barely touching. Your heart raced as Lena took a deep breath, her eyes shimmering with emotion.

"From the moment we met, you captured my heart, and it has been yours ever since," Lena began, her voice trembling slightly. "You've shown me a love I never thought I deserved, and you've taught me to believe in the goodness of the world again."

As Lena spoke, her hands sought yours, fingers intertwining as though they were always meant to fit together.

"I can't imagine my life without you," Lena continued, her voice growing stronger with determination. "I want to spend every sunrise and sunset by your side, sharing laughter and tears, and building a future together. So, my love, will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my partner for life?"

The world seemed to hold its breath as Lena's words hung in the air, anticipation and hope shimmering between you.

Chapter 4: The Answer in Your Eyes

A mix of emotions swirled within you, overwhelmed by the depth of Lena's love and the gravity of her proposal. Time seemed to stand still, each passing second filled with silent contemplation.

Finally, with tears brimming in your eyes, you reached out to cup Lena's face, your touch gentle yet filled with unspoken promises.

"Lena Luthor," you said, your voice thick with emotion, "from the moment our paths crossed, you became my light, my anchor. You've shown me a love so pure, it's shattered the walls I've built around my heart."

Your fingers brushed against the delicate line of Lena's jaw as you continued, "Yes, Lena, a thousand times yes. I want to embark on this journey with you, facing the challenges and cherishing the joys, forever and always."

The world seemed to burst into a kaleidoscope of colors as Lena's face lit up with joy. She leaned in, sealing your answer with a tender kiss, whispering promises of a love that would withstand the tests of time.

And as the sun dipped below the horizon, the two of you remained locked in a loving embrace, savoring the start of a beautiful forever together.

The end

#lena luthor x reader #lena luthor #supergirl

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shysoftbebe · 8 months

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Feelings {BakuDeku x Reader}

BakuDeku x Reader

I'm for them, but why do I feel so heartbroken?

~~~

“Izu!” you cheer, crashing into the firm chest of your childhood friend, a smile encasing your features as he laughs, returning the hug as Katsuki mumbles a few incoherent words from where he stands next to the green-haired man.

“Kat, good to see you too,” you say giving the blonde-haired male a soft smile, he scoffs at your words, eyes flickering as the tips of his ears turn slightly red. You’re tugged away by Ochako, easily settling into her side as the others wait for the two to announce their news.

Something in your mind, tells you that it is not going to be good towards the feelings you hold for the two.

Your eyes move to their hands, heart cracking as you watch them intertwine, eyes moving back to their faces to see blushes on their cheeks, small smile on Izuku’s face.

Ochako squeezes your shoulder, as they announce they have been dating for the last two years, while your heart shatters.

Everyone congratulates them, you manage to do the same, smiling widely as you pounce on them.

You spend an hour hanging out with everyone before deciding to head home, making up an excuse of being tired and having things to do the next day.

As you walk home, you whistle softly under your breath tears stinging your eyes as a shaky breath leaves your dry lips.

“Wh-why can’t I just,” you cut yourself off with a huff, finding yourself standing on a barren sidewalk, late at night wondering about your life choices.

“Hey dumbass!” Katsuki’s loud voice tears through the silent night air, drawing a surprised gasp from your lips as you hurriedly wipe at the tears that had escaped before turning to face the two with a small, tired smile.

“Need something you two?” you ask, happy that your voice doesn’t betray you as you look between the two, watching how they share a look before Izuku approaches you, hand slipping from Katsuki’s.

“Why didn’t you tell us about how you feel,” he asks, straightforward, brows creasing with sadness as his eyes meet yours, your heart plummeting to your feet as they weren’t supposed to know.

Shaking your head, you go to back away but a larger, warm hand curls around your smaller one, crimson eyes meeting your teary, bloodshot eyes.

“Not so fast, sweetheart.”

#bnha #bakudeku #poly #established relationship #secret relationship #yn #reader #heartbreak

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usaigi · 2 years

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Birdy & Elias

Lunar sys au character cards | Read all chapters on ao3

CW: medical trauma

Birdy had never had an easy life; in the early days of her existence, she somehow rationalized her purpose as some sort of lab rat–one being experimented on for some greater good. Faceless strangers took glee from her suffering, silencing all her pleas for help because her pain had an end goal. It didn’t take long for her to accept that her life and body in particular were disposable, that she herself didn’t matter. She was just another testing bird with a broken wing, too broken to escape.

Birdy remembers coming to on a stretcher, with her arms crossed and strapped down. Trying to scream, trying to escape at first, and how quickly her rage and terror turned into defeat.

But despite the haze and pain that clouds her memories, there was someone who always stood out, someone who was always there to hold her hand and comfort her. Unlike all the faceless strangers in hospital scrubs, Birdy never struggled to visualize her dad’s face. The only one who physically stayed by her side and kept her company. Jake had also been by her side, telling her what to say and how to act, but it was different. Birdy remembers how her dad would take her hand between his to pray, how he’d bring her presents and treats after physically and emotionally draining days, and how he’d kiss her head good night.

The day Birdy discovered that Marc did not share her love and admiration for their father, it shattered her heart. Just another thing about her life that turned out to be a fantasy. Marc refused to explain why because of course he did. But Birdy’s done with letting Marc control her.

So when Birdy is finally alone in the body, she finally has the opportunity to dial the number. Despite reminding herself that this is what she wants, she can’t stop her hand from shaking as the tone rings and guilt flows through her.

“Marc? Marc, is that you?” Her father finally answers, sounding shocked and confused at her call.

“Hi dad. Happy Father’s Day,” Birdy says softly into the phone, careful to keep her voice down in case anyone else in the headspace can hear her. Focusing on herself and the moment.

“Marc, I can't believe it. Are you okay? Is everything alright?” her dad stutters, still in disbelief over the call.

Birdy holds on tight to the phone, pressing against her warm cheek, “I’m ok… How are you?”

“I’m just happy to hear from you. Listen, about your mother’s fun–”

“Can you tell me more about you? What have you been doing?” She interrupts, uninterested in talking about their mother. Birdy couldn’t be sure how long she’d be alone in the body so she need to use her time efficiently.

“The house is quiet, it’s hard to get used to it. I've been spending a lot of time at temple. I’m volunteering at the local food bank. And I’ve been seeing a–a grief counselor. Not just for what happened with her but for Randall, and… for you,” her dad says quickly, fumbling over his words. Almost as if he’s aware she could hang up at any moment.

“That’s good… Dad?” She asks again.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I was such a burden growing up,” she whispers, feeling the tears fall down her face as the memories rush in.

“Marc, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything–”

“Please don’t. I don’t want to think about it but I need to tell you…” Birdy needs to tell him she wasn’t ‘Marc.’ That she was ‘Marc’ but not ‘Marc’ at the same time. But she chokes on her words and no sound is able to escape her lips.

“Are you still there?” her dad asks, after some silence.

“I’m here…” Birdy whispers.

“Are you still living in Europe? Maybe…maybe you can come home for Rosh Hashanah?”

“Maybe…” She trails off. She wants to say yes, she wants to see her dad, but she knows that just by calling their dad she betraying Marc's trust. Maybe even Jake’s trust. “I have to go. I miss you.”

“Marc ple–” is all she hears before she hangs up. She lets the tears fall onto the phone’s screen as she delete the call history.

#moon knight #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant #elias spector #layla el faouly #mk lunar sys #marvel #mcu #moon knight fanfic #usaigi speaks #lunar sys & dad arc

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songofsutarima · 2 years

Text

Some poems that were either 5 minute exercises or written while working.

Prompts taken from @semicolonsoliloquy

I’m working through the list. And just felt like I should post something. 😂😅 at least one has been posted separately.

——————————————

1) Personal story in as few words

Gelid winter

Pit against

Child ungloved,

Without hat

Climbing tree.

Frozen fingers

Release suddenly

Branch.

Finding seat

From twenty feet.

2) Poem about your favorite types of poems

Cut me, make me bleed

Starve me, make me feel your need

Suffocate me, make it impossible to breathe.

Trap me. Make it unknowable if I’ll ever leave.

Punch me, sucker to the jaw and follow up with the gut.

Stagnate me, make me feel I’m in a rut.

When it comes to the type of poetry I like to read.

Cut me. Make me feel something.

Make me bleed.

3) Think of an old friend you haven't talked to in ages. What do you remember about them? What have you forgotten?

Hey do you remember

How we would spend our summer weekends?

Fishing with you and a couple other friends?

Say, do you remember

Friday nights, after watching the football team compete,

Heading back home to play videogames like NFL street?

So, do you remember

Double Dip Saturdays for pizza and ice cream?

Followed by theatres because this was before Netflix streams.

Hey man, do you remember

How those guys were being jerks and you had my back?

How you made sure I always knew someone would help pick up the slack.

Tell me, do you remember

Any of this my good friend sir?

Good.

Neither do I.

Because you never were.

4) Write a poem from the point of view of an inanimate object from a fairy tale.

Believe it or not, God’s hand had me placed.

And said I will be guarded by my sweet Lady of the Lake.

He told me when I was set, I’ll know him when he and I have faced.

The one who can release me, and get this magical seal ‘breaked’.

And that was true, that was clear

When he approached with only the slightest fear

And then a hand wrapped tight on the hilt

Removed me from stone as if it were silt.

Released from the bounds, wielded by an owner who shan’t shy from blood.

Released on the world by a mighty one who will surely cause a red flood.

And it was an age, maybe two, that we were the best

It was an eon or four when others got out of the way, or went to rest.

But sadly…as all things must….even legends the universe ends, it must take.

And given by the hand of my greatest master, his trusted servant…returned me to the lake.

5) What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

I don’t tell big lies

Or small ones for that matter.

Because I don’t want to have

My foolishness cause trust shatter.

I need my people close

They keep this heart beating.

I need my people close

To be someone demon defeating.

I would never

How dare you suggest

That I’d tell a lie

To put problems to rest.

Though I suppose, given the topic, the subject

Me sharing one real real truth, I hope you won’t object.

I have maybe said a fib, pulled and stretched the truth.

But never once was getting facts pulling from me a tooth.

However however. Something still must be said

About the worst, hardest way that I’ve purposely misled.

The greatest lie I’ve ever told? I speak it every day.

I pull them in my arms, I hold, and whisper, “just hang on, it’s gonna be okay.”

6) Rewrite a Shel Silverstein poem in your style.

There is a place where the sidewalk ends.

A step before the road, grass has green it lends

And shadows are nonexistent in sun’s shining light.

While small mushroom circles tease of a sprite

Who searches for those that listen or follow, might.

There is a place where gray goes green, clear goes black.

Where between engines and asphalt, lungs are under attack.

Let us continue past where poisoning lies of freshness haunt

And follow signs saying “clean refreshing breeze” as they taunt.

I will say though, as someone who didn’t have many friends

I tried to follow the path as it twists and bends.

And for me it only matters for one, two questions on which all depends.

Fuck. What’s the meaning. Who cares if a sidewalk ends.

7) Choose seven objects, each one a different color of the rainbow. Mention all of your chosen objects in your poem.

Rose in the bush has been blessed by cardinal crest

Outside, foxes play in autumn leaves and munch on pumpkin.

Yet I stay inside, sipping lemonade, snacking on a banana

Grass is waiting until conifers are the only thing not wholly brown.

Bashful skies however reserve flakes in trade for continuing lakes.

I watch and wait for when I will eat my grapes and evening sky seeps into what use to be baby blue.

Verses hopefully can stain a page with ink that matches my Empress gin drink.

8) Write a set of instructions on how to fall in love with you.

Why You Should Love Me

Listen to a voice, as it changes

Soft and sweet to thick and smooth, well within the ranges.

Find yourself in pools of brown

And swim in the dark waters til you drown

Run your fingers through raven locks

As time stops on all the clocks.

Lose yourself in the serenade of strings

And float on melodies and harmonies I sing.

Witness my goodness, my purity of heart,

As I give everything for anyone and let myself fall apart.

Watch the animals come to me, one they do not know

And they long to be around me for the love I show.

Have a fair warning, before you might begin to,

That there is something all my priors wish they knew.

Ask my wife, she’ll tell you it’s true.

The trick isn’t falling in,

…it’s not letting it kill you.

9) Rain writes a letter to the ground.

Hello, dear young friend

I hope you can hear me,

You’ll feel me before the end.

I know you aren’t much quite yet, you are but a seed

But I have some things, as do you, that others might need.

I may find myself stored high, I am only just clouds,

Until earth calls me down to where the grass crowds.

But really…it doesn’t matter to me, I am water, I am life that you drink

And really, I’ll always happen to be something that falls and pulls you from the brink

Of thirst, dehydration, death from the dry,

And instead I get to love on you when my skies cry.

A short little letter to my earthen friend.

To let you know, miles may separate.

But I’ll shower love on you til the end.

10) Write about a moment of kindness you've experienced today.

Today may not be my best example….

Can I choose a different day to sample?

The thing given me that was born from someone kind

Was simply a bottle to spilt that he did find.

Not to say I’m not grateful, and I did not fill my cup.

But if one drink is all it takes to make me happy.

What the fuck is up…?

_________________________________

The next ten:

https://at.tumblr.com/songofsutarima/694680640788021248/x9wd37w76l2v

#poetry dump #prompt poetry

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gulaabsa · 6 months

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The rain is pelting against the glass roof, ending into a million ripples and merging with infinite other ones. I sit here by the window underneath it, the November wind a cruel whisper against my bare face. The coffee has now started getting a little cold, the absence of its ferocity, a missing ache in my hands and my life, the same dull throbbing you left me with in the midst of a crowd of April dandelions last year, when you packed up your backpack, a toothbrush and the bedside photo frame of your parents, leaving me behind like a forgotten token of summer love, the light rains in the precipitating heat of the harsher months; quick and temporary. I sit here by the window, the rain bringing with it a promise of a cruel love. Nature is us and we are nature. It mimics us and we mimic it in return. Love turns to pain that turns to forgiveness that turns to letting go that turns to love again. I couldn’t possibly have escaped nature eitherI.

Oh and I had gone on a date somedays back. He came wearing a linen cotton shirt and a smile with the assurance of a lover who holds your heart when you have retched it out from your body. And my fingers danced towards his, almost like they belonged there. I laughed so much that day. We talked about so many things; heartbreak, poetry [ Qabbani is his favourite], the sound of birds crying overhead when a family mourns over a lost soul in their courtyard, and a lot about freedom. I felt exhilarated! He sat across from me looking like the amalgamation of that stupid list from my childhood I told you about; and everything felt like destiny. Truth be told, I did end up drawing parallels between the two of you from time to time. One day we were ordering takeout, and he immediately turned to dal and rajma chawal. The first thought I had was of you, sitting in the same place by the lamp, ordering takeout and fighting over which movie we were going to watch. You often takeover my mind. Not all days. Most days. It was hard in the beginning; to tell him why I preferred potato fries to French fries even though they are the same, and why I avoid watching movies on most days and why the sound of anybody's name that sounded like yours wiped the smile off my face. Re sharing your whole self and the inner workings of it is a task nobody likes.

Things are hard. Still hard. I couldn't possibly write down every feeling I have felt since you left and how many more memories I made, how I fell in love with spending somebody else on love and how while he sits here by my side, in this downpour that refuses to give up, peeling off the wrapper off a biscuit tin that I have been looking for a week now, I feel like the retched out heart is no more a piece of puzzle dropped off at now strangers' doors, left there with lost hope and a lot of pain worth a tramadol, its instead a small semblance of something beating with a little fragile life in it, refusing to miraculously give up somehow. It's a small sapling he is holding in his hands and one day I might have strength enough to plant it in my body, in a place where it once perished from.

We sit here while old ghazals play in the background, in a room dimly lit with yellow lights, the glow of which is grazing his smile lightly and I am grateful. Grateful for the day I refused to turn back even after you had left, the door slamming very loudly and I am grateful the pain in my heart, no matter how big and the love that looked for all the ways to seep out through, I did not jump from the rocks. I am grateful for you. That you left. This is done with. And I am grateful that this ball of sunshine sits by me everyday, patiently rising everyday no matter how dark the nights get.

Love is built on the graveyard of thousands of heartbreak, rebounds, a dozen crates of beer and a stubborn flame of hope that refuses to budge in the tornados of tattered hearts and shattered mirrors.

#poetry #literature #books and libraries #heartbreak

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yuzukult · 3 years

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bittersweet. (m) || kmg & reader

title: bittersweet. pairing: kim mingyu x reader genre: angst, fluff, smut, established relationship!au word count: 3.1k warnings: dirty deed is done (aka explicit sex if you didn't catch that). profanity. prompt: you're always fighting. he doesn't get you. so why are you even still together? a/n: before any of my friends make fun of me, shaddup. anyways, this is for @/ficscafe dialogue prompt event! i'll be using #14: you make me weak.

He’s so adamant.

The crinkle in between his brows, the scrunch of his nose, and his incessant blinking from all the nerves, despite it all, he still stands firm on his beliefs.

But you’re fighting. Always fighting.

He doesn’t get you—he spends most of the time he's with you arguing about how insensitive you are as a person, how nonchalant you can be when you should be reacting with some type of emotion, and how he wished you’d been more affectionate with him.

But he doesn’t understand you. He thinks you’re selfish (sure, he didn’t outright state this, but you can sense him feeling this way.)

Albeit you’re unsure how you got yourself in this position—back flat against the wall, his hands on your wrists with his crotch pinning yours as your legs wrap around him securely to meet his gaze from the height difference.

“I need you to talk to me,” he rasps, anger filled in his voice. “I’m so tired of making this into some guessing game. Why can’t you just tell me how you feel?”

Although he’s got you cornered, rutting his hips into you once again, it's not persuasive enough. “Talk to me.”

“If you can’t figure me out, maybe we should just break up. I didn’t want to date in the first place.”

Jaw clenched, his eyes continue to melt into yours. He’s looking for anything—a sign, a glimpse, a crack in your exterior to see whatever it is you’re truly feeling inside. “Why do you always use that as a solution? Instead of just communicating?”

“Because—“ you halt, breath hitching when he shifts, the head of his cock rubbing against your bud through your thin material shorts. “—Because it’s an easier solution. What do you expect from me?”

“To tell me and show me if you like me or not. You’re like a fucking boulder. I can’t move you.”

You quirk a brow. “Your fucking holding me down right now. You’ve evidently proved you can move me elsewhere.”

“Emotionally,” he says, exasperated. “The most I can get you to feel something is when we’re fucking. I’m surprised we’re even fucking in the first place. You barely let me hold your hand!”

Rolling your eyes, you pull your arms from his hold and he lets go easily. It’s the type of person Mingyu is—he’s gentle, the complete opposite of you, with a heart of gold that everyone loves and appreciates. He’s lovable, known to many, and desired by them all, and somehow, you got him in your grasp and truthfully… you’re not sure what to do.

He’s fragile, but you have rough hands with toughened skin from years of experience and encounters. There’s this fear that you’ll drop him, shatter him into pieces as brittle as chinaware. So you hold the front, keep yourself strong with a facade tougher than concrete, because you’re afraid if you hold on too tight, he might break. And at the same time, he might break you too.

“You wanna know why?” You finally blurt, words firm and sharp. “Because you make me weak. And I don’t like being weak. I don’t like being known as weak. And you—you do that to me. I hate it.”

He furrows his brows. “I make you weak? The one girl I know to be the most resilient?” Mingyu has to scoff in disbelief because it’s the first time he’s hearing this. “You realize how insane you sound? It’s okay to have feelings for me. It’s why we’re together.”

Nose twitching, you suck in your cheeks. “I hate it. I hate this. I hate that when you turn to look at me in the morning, you give me that fucking… smile. Like I’m your whole world. Like you’re head over heels for me and I’m all that you see.”

“And why do you hate that?”

“Because, some part of me, deep down into the abyss, wants to look at you like that too.”

His jaw loosens, just like the restraints he had over his heart in the past hour of arguing, hands now finding purchase on your thighs to pull you back up closer. “Baby…” he calls out for you softly, the term of endearment nearly bursting your heart, but you keep yourself calm and collected as you normally do. “Then do it. Why are you so scared?”

“I told you.”

“That’s not a good enough reason.”

“Well, it’s good enough for me.”

He heaves a heavy breath. “Baby, I can’t keep doing this. I feel like I’m chasing you but I’m getting nothing out of it.”

Then, you reiterate the same words you’ve said multiple times, but there’s never any genuinity in it because you never actually… meant it. “Then let’s break up.”

“We’re not breaking up.”

“Then what do you want to do? Tell me. If breaking up isn’t the option, then tell me instead of having me up the wall if we’re not gonna fuck.”

“Fucking only happens when you’re pissed or when you’re making up.”

“So, what now?”

It’s Mingyu’s turn to roll his eyes. “We make up. I need you to talk to me. I can barely read you—the only thing I know for sure is that you don’t want this to end because you just admitted to me that you wanna look at me the same way I look at you.”

Frustrated, you let your head drop onto the wall behind you. “This is annoying. I don’t like expressing stuff. You just take what you get or leave. If you can’t figure out what’s going through my mind, what’s the point? Why put in the effort?” Eyes fluttering shut, you feel yourself wanting to crawl into a ball and just… hide. Despite being fully clothed, you feel naked when Mingyu asks for more. And what he’s asking for isn’t even unreasonable—you’re just horrible at telling people what you’re feeling. “I just… why can’t I just let you lay your head on my lap when you get home from work? Or… cook dinner with you. Even have it ready when you have long nights at work. Maybe even fold your laundry—I don’t know. I don’t like PDA but if you asked me, I’d hold your hand under the table. Or… hold it in your pocket on cold days.”

Then, Mingyu stays silent (for the first time).

It finally hits.

You’re not outspoken when it comes to soft things. You’re loving but not in the same way he is. You’re also honest and straightforward about everything except when it comes to admitting feelings for him.

And for once, when you say those words, he… he feels loved by you.

He remembers those days—after spending hours at the gym despite having a long work day, he’d come home and you’re there waiting for him on the couch so you could shower together. You’d help scrub his limp body, even though he moans and groans about how sore he is, but you do it nonetheless because you like him. Or when you stopped by at his apartment, one he shares with all his friends, because he was stuck with helping one of them build their beds and you brought them all, including himself, lunch. And that wasn’t to mention you were already working twelve hour days.

“Can you answer one question for me, then? I won’t force you to tell me again. I just need to hear it once.”

Your eyes open, and it feels like a mistake because your heart drops into your stomach. His gaze is hypnotizing, like he’s got you in a trance, and you respond with a ‘yes’ without much thought because of him.

Mingyu swallows all his anxiety before asking that million dollar question.

“Do you love me?”

Although you feel small being put on the spot like that, the one thing you’ll admit is that you’ve already predetermined the answer to this. And just as much courage as Mingyu puts into asking, you’ll reciprocate and do the same in answering because he’s admirable for even trying.

“Yes.”

Without much thought, he presses his lips against yours. You love him, although you rarely if not never say it, but you finally said those words and all he needs is to hear it just once for assurance. To know that there’s something he’s chasing for, that he’s not running in place like on a treadmill.

Arms snaking around his neck, you keep your hold there as his hands reach to your jaw, leveraging the kiss in an angle he’d prefer. When you kiss, he feels complete. He’s never felt like this with another girl before, this feeling of home, the feeling of comfort. You’re colder than brisk winters, but something about having you in his arms makes him warm.

Your fingers comb through his locks, and although it’s doused in gel and spent hours on doing this morning, he doesn’t mind because he knows he’s yours. When you kiss him back, he’s as anxious as he was when he had to go on stage and perform in front of people for the first time.

Gently pulling away, both your lips are pink and swollen with a string of saliva connecting between. Pants brushing against each other’s face, a soft smile tugs on the edges of your lips as you feel heat creeping up your neck.

“I love you too,” he says, as low as a whisper. “And… I’m okay if you don’t say it again. You know how I show you that I love you… and I should’ve been better at learning what you’re comfortable with in showing how you love. But I still need you to help, too, to make this… better. I need you to talk to me, when you need me. When I need you. I need you to be here for me too.”

“Okay,” you respond, volume matching his. “If that’s the case, I love you. Just… as another reminder since I only said yes the first time.”

He lets out a chuckle, vibrating from his chest and everything about him makes your heart race. “Good. Can I show you how much I love you?”

“No,” you retort quickly and bashfully. But he knows you’re playing because you nod afterwards, allowing him to carry you to the couch. “Maybe.”

“I need a yes, love,” Mingyu says cheekily, face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. “You know I’m not going to go any further until I hear it.”

“Yes,” you reply embitterly, but Mingyu knows better now. He knows what you want, because all he needed was assurance. “Please show me how much you love me.”

And fuck, because he never knew how much he needed to hear those words all his life.

You’re so pretty when he has you stripped down to nothing, laid out on the leather couch of your living room; hair messy, mouth gaped open from all his teasing, and with an arm covering your face because it’s all too much for you. Mingyu is a passionate lover, you’ve come to recognize, and although it’s all an unfamiliar territory, you love him and you’re willing to step into the unknown.

“How am I doing?” He asks, as if he doesn’t have his head in between your legs and a grip on the meat of your thighs. He loves the taste of you, he reminds you plenty of times, but dirty talk coming from such an innocent face makes you slightly embarrassed. “Feels good?”

“Shut up,” you hiss, avoiding his infatuated stare. “Just… just fucking do it, you asshole.”

“What? Show you how much I love you?”

There’s a tornado in the pit of your stomach. He keeps saying things that make you awkward because you’ve never been loved like how Mingyu loves.

You don’t react, and this displeases him. Laying his tongue flat out against your cunt, he gives you another lick that lets a whimper escape from your lips. “Tell me, baby. Am I doing a good job?”

“Yes,” you croak, only because you feel like he’s got you in this position for so long. You’re so exposed, and he at least has his boxers to protect him like a shield, but you’re all out in the open. (Not to mention his fucking built body. He makes you feel so insecure about yours—how is this puppy looking boy so… wide? What the fuck?) “Can you… can you take that off?”

He leans up, tilting his head in confusion and now you can see how hard he is in his undergarments. “My… my boxers?”

“Yeah. I feel like… I’m the only one exposed here.”

He laughs. “Baby, we’ll get to that.”

“Now.”

Mingyu snorts. “Anything my baby wants.” He bumps foreheads with you gingerly, something he's always done playfully, and tugs off his boxers swiftly as requested. “Let me make you cum first and—“

“No,” you interject, eyes closed and biting down on your bottom lip. It's the only way to remain bold—to not look him in the eye because he’ll melt you like a stick of butter left on the kitchen counter. “Show me how you love me.”

Mingyu doesn’t hesitate to shuffle quickly through the little stash hidden on the first shelf underneath your coffee table (he likes to be prepared in every situation even though this is your apartment) and finally spots the condom he hid a week ago. Tearing it open rapidly, he gives himself a couple pumps that have beads of precum building at the top and slips the rubber on with ease. “Ready?”

“For you?” Mingyu gulps, because before today, you’ve rarely said anything that made his heart stutter. “Anything.”

With a push of the head of his cock into your heat, a quiet wince escapes from your lips and his chocolate orbs are saturated in apologies. He doesn’t want you to feel pain, especially not you, but even his efforts to loosen you up beforehand, you still manage to be so tight around him every time. It feels good to have you around him snugly, yet he knows the consequence of the beginning is the ache in between your legs from the first intrusion.

“I’m sorry, bub,” Mingyu presses a tender kiss on your forehead. “Bear with me, yeah?”

“Mm,” you hum dismissively, warming up when he finally slides himself all the way in. He stills, in fear that you’re hurt, but instead, you’re surprisely impatient as you cross your legs behind him and pull him close. Bringing your lips close to his ears, you breathe, “fuck me, baby.”

Mingyu laughs brightly, and your jaw clenches. “What?”

“After today, I’m not going to fuck you.” You quirk a brow. “I’m gonna make love to you.”

“Don’t make me throw up. You’re ruining the moment.”

He grins mischievously before pulling out and shoving himself back in swiftly that earns a groan from you. “Oh? Am I?”

“Stop playing, Mingyu,” you state sternly, but Mingyu is enjoying himself too much. “Or else you're not getting any for the month.”

Well, that does the trick.

He has his hands on your hips, pushed down against the seat cushions of your loveseat couch, hips once flushed against yours now thrusting into your throbbing pussy. God, you’re fucking done for, honestly, because he’s a pro with his hips when he angles it just right that he’s brushing against your swollen clit, hitting so deep into you.

“Fuck—“

“You curse too much, baby,” Mingyu puffs, pecking the side of your lips sloppily. “Everyone thinks I’m such a nice guy and when they meet my—fuck—g-girlfriend and find out how much of a dirty mouth she has, they’re always struck.”

“Too fucking bad,” you spit, fingers digging into the skin of his shoulders. He’s so big, stretching you with each shove, but you’d never tell him that or his ego would inflate. “Stop talking and fuck me harder.”

Mingyu loves. He loves and loves, and although you won’t pretend that he comes to your home often with crumpled pieces of papers with girls’ names and numbers on them that fall into the catch-all bowl by the door with his keys, you don’t forget that besotted daze he falls into the moment he sees you. So when you ask for something, he delivers without fail.

Abiding by your urge, his hips move briskly, pistoning into you as fast as he can. Biceps tense, you can’t help but let your hands slip there, gripping onto the muscle and has you wondering fuck, how did you get so lucky? He’s hot, cute, sweet, loving and geez, he could fuck. He’s so clumsy, so dumb sometimes, but he’s so freaking lovable it makes you sick. Lovesick.

His pretty eyes shut close, you notice, because those two cups of hot chocolate are gone and he’s chewing on his bottom lip as he groans, ends of his hair that brush over his eyes now drenched in sweat. His skin glistens underneath the dim lights, and he reminds you of the stars in the night sky—so gorgeous, so special. Always a sight to see.

“Fuck,” the not-so-innocent boy curses (even though he just said you curse too much) “Baby, you just got so tight. Are you about to cum?”

“Possibly,” you manage to say, still attempting to play games even though Mingyu could very so threaten to steal your orgasm away from the tip of your fingers. But when he slightly shifts in the midst of his pounding, you let out a raspy, “Almost,” because he’s rubbing against your nub incessantly that you’re losing all your focus.

When you finally see those stars, you let go.

Mingyu feels this, grunting when you convulse around his dick, head dropping to watch you tug and tug around him, begging for him to cum. Thankfully, it doesn’t take long because after a couple thrusts, he stills, spilling ropes of cum into the condom and dropping the entirety of his weight onto you, face snug into the crook of your neck once again.

“I—“

“You’re heavy.”

“Fuck, baby, we just had sex and that’s the first thing you say?”

He can’t see you, but there’s a smile on your face. “Yeah. And you got my couch all sticky from your sweat. Not to mention the cum. Are you gonna clean it after?”

Mingyu doesn’t care. He’s blissful. He’s happy. He knows you’re going to toss a damp rag at him later, despite his dick out and still drenched in your arousal, and tell him to ‘wipe down the fucking couch because that’s gross.’

All because he knows that you love him.

#caratwritersclub #ficscafe #ficscafe dpe #mingyu smut #seventeen smut #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #mingyu fanfic #mingyu x reader #gyukultfics #idk what to tag this i give up

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kass-storycorner · 3 years

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the Hu Tao and Chongyun storyquests the past days. Both deal with the afterlife (well the border between life and death so far) and ghosts. We know both are canon in Genshin, they exist for this world. Now what I’ve been thinking a lot about is … how much angst can I write with that in mind? I always see a lot of these how the characters would react to your death but… yeah, have fun with this. Or not.

The ghost of you

Prompt: You died and the characters are faced with the literal ghost of you.

Genre: Angst, Hurt, no comfort (especially for Xiao)

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao,

Format: text

Word count: 1714

This is not proof-read or anything, I just wanted to get that idea out of my head. I also really want to write this idea out for other characters, so maybe I'll share a part 2 in the future. and yes the title might be a mcr reference and i might have two other fics in my drafts named after mcr songsi had a rough week okay

Zhongli:

He loved you. With all his heart, with every fibre of his being, he loved you so much. Zhongli always knew that his decision to live a life among mortals would cost a price, but in his mind, it was paid with his Gnosis all those years ago. It was not until the first of his mortal friends started to die that Zhongli was reminded of how fragile humans were. Of course, he was aware to a certain degree that he would outlive his friends and even you, he just never considered how quickly a human life was lived. You both had spent an entire life together, and while Zhonglis body did not biologically age, he is able to change his form to his liking - so when you grew old and grey so did he. Most people in Liyue would see the two of take your stroll around the city, holding hands and they were enamoured by the way you still looked at each other, just like a newlywed couple. But you grew older each day until one day, on one of your walks through the city, your collapsed. Zhongli was quick to catch you and the people around rushed towards the two, helping Zhongli getting you to a doctor. However, what was a doctor to do, than to tell Zhongli that your body is giving up? The doctor nor Zhongli can do anything against the flow of time, though Zhongli wished he could. He was not ready to let you go, he was not ready for you to onyl life in his memories until the erosion of the earth will erease you from them.

You layed in the hospital bed, Zhongli right next to you never letting go of your hand, when you took your last breath. He sat next to you for a while, not saying a word, tears running down his face until he heard your voice.

"It's okay," there you stood on the other side of the bed, your dead body between the two of you. In all the years Zhongli lived he had seen more than a few ghosts and he was aware of the human afterlife - though seeing your ghost wasn't something he anticipated. "You're dead", Zhongli said quietly, tears still spilling from his eyes. "I know, love. I know. And I wish I could've stayed with you just a bit longer, I really do. But it's time. You gave me such a wonderful life; we spend so many years together and I am so thankful for it Zhongli. For all the stories you told me, for all the sleepless nights we spend together, for all the memories we made. I loved it. I love you." Zhongli still hadn't let go of your hand, still afraid of letting you go, even though the mind he loved was standing so close to him. "Love," he started, his voice heavy with grief. "I have so many more stories to tell you. Will you stay, just for a while longer?"

At that you had to laugh a bit and oh, how much he already missed your laugh. He just heard it a few hours ago, when you were still alive, but hearing it now just felt so painful. "Zhongli, even 10 lifetimes wouldn't be enough to be able to listen to all of your stories. But I'm so sorry to disappoint you, you know I can't stay."

He knew this just too well. Not only as someone who worked for decades as a consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in Liyue, but also as the former Geo-Archon he knew it was better for you to go. It pained him that he could never follow you into the afterlife that was awaiting you, even Zhongli didn't know what awaits you behind the border between life and death. "Then," Zhongli began, standing up and letting go of your cold hand, "let me accompany you."

Xiao:

Continuation for the Xiao one

Xiao refused to go even near the place you died for decades. The day he lost you was still so fresh in his memories, it pained him even more than his karmic debt to think about it. He always told you, when you were still by his side, that when you were in trouble, in danger, to always call his name. You did. You always did and he would be by your side, protecting you from what would’ve harmed you. The only time you refused to call his name in time was the day you died, and all Xiao could do was blame himself. You were visiting at the Inn earlier that day, standing next to him on the balcony talking about something he doesn’t even remember. What he remembers how happy you were, how enthusiastic you talked about it, whatever it was. Somehow though the conversation shifted, and you both ended up fighting – the reason for it was so stupid and it was all his fault. He was just in a bad mood that day and not even your warm presence were able to change it, so he let it out on you. Trying to push you away, again. Xiao cursed himself for how often he did that, how often he would hide how much he loved you, how much he cared for you, behind a mean exterior that only caused you pain. You knew what he was doing and that day, you just had enough. “Stop trying to push me away, Xiao!”, you shouted at him, tears already filling your eyes. You tried to reach for him, but he pulled away. Keeping you at a distance, again. “And you just stop talking, it’s exhausting to hear your voice.” Xiao already hated himself immediately after he said it, but looking back now, knowing what his words caused… it drove him close to madness. “Fine,” you replied, and he could her how much his words hurt you, “then you’ll never hear it again.” With that you left him. He tried to distract himself from the guilt he felt after your fight with his work, slashing through the enemies, spoiling the earth of Liyue with more blood. For nearly a month he didn’t hear you call him, and he was too scared to seek you out. Scared that you wouldn’t want to see him, scared that he ruined it all. When you finally called for him, when he finally heard you say his name – he hoped it was a chance for him to make it up to you. Xiao was not prepared to find your lifeless body, realising that you called his name with your very last breath. It send him into a blind rage, killing the enemies around him that were the cause for your death. When there was nothing left to kill he collapsed next to your corpse, tears spilling from his eyes, chanting your name over and over like a prayer. Asking himself why you hadn’t called him sooner to only remember what he said weeks prior. It was his fault. He couldn’t help it but to blame himself for your death. If he hadn’t said those words, if he hadn’t continuously tried to push you away… you were right. Xiao will never hear your voice again.

He avoided to go even near the place you died. If he hadn’t done that, if he had visited at least once, he would’ve seen your ghost, wandering aimlessly around. At first you were just confused, what had just happened? The last thing you remembered is that you called for Xiao and now? Now you stood in the middle of a forest, no Xiao in sight but also the enemies who cornered you just now were also gone. For how long you wandered around, confused and not sure what had happened you didn’t know. It scared you. You screamed his name, over and over again but you couldn’t hear your own voice. You just couldn’t make a sound.

He didn’t mean to come across that place again. Xiao learned to live with the guilt and grief he felt, just as he had to learn to live with his karmic debt. Still, it hurts more than he likes to admit. So when he stumbled upon the place he lost you all those years ago, he asked himself how he ended up here again. Something was telling him he should come here, but he tried to ignore that voice, that calling. But when he saw your ghostly figure between the trees of the forest, it used to be a plain field when you had died, he froze. Was it really you? “(Y/N)?”, he called out to you. Oh, how long he hadn’t said your name. It felt foreign, but also so familiar at the same time. But you didn’t hear nor see him, you were too lost after years of roaming the fields that grew to a forest – not being able to understand that time passed, that you were dead. Xiao came closer to your ghost and saw how you screamed something, over and over. His name. It was his name. “(Y/N) it’s me, I’m here. Please, I’m here, it’s okay”, his voice was strained and when your face met his – Xiao noticed how you didn’t look at him. You looked right through him, he noticed now how he couldn’t reach you with his words nor his presences. He tried to grab you, but his hand only touched the air. If he could at least hear you call his name. Xiao felt how his tears ran down his face, his heart shattering again in thousand pieces. Why hadn’t he noticed it earlier how you roamed the earth, lost and scared. He saw it in your face. Why didn’t he come here earlier? It pained him to know that you hadn’t found your peace. Xiao went down on his knees, face buried in his hands. The last time he felt so helpless was when he found your dead body, unable to help you. And now? Now it happened again, he had no idea what he could do to help you, to make you see him. From that day on Xiao spend most of his time watching over your ghost, hoping that one day he’ll hear you call out to him again.

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therealpussybangs · 3 years

Text

When you find out the Haikyuu boys cheated.. Pt. 2

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Starring: Timeskip!Aone, Goshiki, Kita, Lev

A/N- Tw: Cheating, crying, yelling, fighting, mentions of sexual- intercourse, swearing, please let me know if i missed anything!!

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Aone-

Today was supposed to be your 4th year anniversary with your amazing boyfriend Aone. However, that date idea had quickly turned to shit when you see your boyfriend at a booth with some other chick.

You didn’t want to jump to conclusions, because you were exceptionally early to this date, so you walk over, hoping it was a sister or some other relative.

But when you finally made it over to the table, your boyfriend looked like he had seen a ghost. Pale, scared, and he looked sick. The thing that hurt the most was the guilt swimming in his eyes. Eyes that were once only for you. Eyes that were always warm and welcoming, the eyes that felt like home. His once beautiful and bright eyes were now dulled, guilty and scared.

Aone felt like he couldn’t move. He was stuck in his chair when he saw you.

‘Our date isn’t for another 20 minutes... how could this happen...?’ He thinks to himself. Then he remembers what you had said earlier about being early for the special today. He curses under his breath and opens his mouth to make excuses, but that’s when he hears a sniffle.

He reluctantly looks up to see you crying, and swiping at your eyes wildly. His heart shatters and sinks to the floor and he immediately knows he shouldn’t lie, it’ll only make it worse.

“Baby i’m so sorry....” He looks down, not ready to hear your reply. “Was i not good enough..? What should I have done differently..?” You say in a small, hurt voice.

“No! I-” He was cut off by the other girl sitting in front of him.

“Bubs who’s this ugly little girl? She a friend of yours? Or what..she kinda smells a little..” She says in a squeaky, bratty voice.

“Oh, haha; i’m actually his soon to be ex-girlfriend! So nice to meet you!! And so nice to leave you ‘bubs’!” You say with a fake smile, and filled with sarcasm.

“Babe- do-” Aone started quietly, he always was so quiet and reserved. But he seemed so talkative with this new girl....

“By Aone! Bye bitch I don’t know!” You say oh so confidently, until you go to itch your eyes. ‘oh... tears..’ You began to cry harder as you realize you just left the one thing you loved most.

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Goshiki-

You and Tsutomu had been pretty distant after a fight you two had, and you wanted to go over and apologize to him because you realized you were in the wrong.

However, what you did not expect was to see another car parked outside of your shared home.

This fight you both had was because of some silly coworker jokingly hitting on you. You had known this person since you were little, so it was nothing new. They were also fully aware of the fact that you were in a committed relationship with Tsutomu.

So, who could be at his house? Was he really hurt enough to call a friend or relative for help/advice? Now you felt really bad, so you quickly make your way up the steps to your shared home and push past the door.

What you did not expect to hear, were muffled whimpers and Goshiki’s smooth, calming voice. ‘Wh-what?’ You think maybe it was something else, maybe it was Goshiki whimpering and sniffling and someone else sweet talking him. But once you walk into your bedroom....you shut down.

“B..baby,,?” You ask, voice small. You were shaking and trying your best to keep your cool and hold back the tears threatening to spill. “Whats going on..?”

Goshiki immediately whips his head around from where it was buried between someone elses thighs. But when he sees your hurt eyes and sad features guilt pools at the bottom of his stomach. He was with someone else, on your shared bed, in your shared home. This realization suddenly hit him like a brick, and he immediately shot straight up. “I-I can explain!!”

“Explain what? The fact you were pleasuring some random whore on our bed?? What else is there to explain Tsut- Goshiki?” You yell back, the tears from before finally breaking the barrier and streaming down your face.

Goshiki just stood there, shaken up and regretful, not daring to say a word, knowing it will make things worse. But you persisted and asked him again why he did it and he started to get annoyed with your yelling. “I was angry with your stupid fucking co-worker for flirting with you and smacking your ass and always eating lunch with you!! I wanted you to know how it felt!!” He yelled back, without thinking. Bad idea.

You were speechless to say the least. He did not just compare cheating to harmless banter between friends...did he? He didn’t just call your absolute bestfriend stupid...did he?

“Get out. Both of you.” You say, your tone stone cold.

“What..” Your ex says, his voice small and shaky, almost as if it was any louder it would shatter you.

“GET OUT!! NOW!!” You say, now yelling as warm, fat tears stream down your face. You were furious, deflated, tired, and so, so done. You thought you were going to be sick. You had trusted him, and here he was, with a beautiful woman, probably 10x better than you. And to think you were going to apologize to him.

“Baby... we can fix this! right? Move forward!” He says, not so confident or angry this time.

“What, so you can go off with some other bitch as soon as the going gets tough again? No. We’re over. Goodbye Goshiki, please don’t try to contact me, i’ll have someone come get my stuff.”

And with that, you slammed the door and walked out of the place you one called home.

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Kita-

Kita was a simple man. He wanted 2 things in life: A family with you, and his rice fields to do well.

However he did not take it very well when you said you were not ready for a family, and he stormed out on you. That night you cried yourself to sleep, thinking about how you could be better.

The past month and a half, you and Kita have been pretty distant, and you have been preparing yourself for a family in any way you can. For example: Finishing the last of your extra studies, learning how to make extra delicious meals, even though Kita wasn’t ever there to try them, and you even started looking into parenting books. You just wanted to be the perfect wife for him.

So one day you waited for him to come home, ready to tell him the big news; you were ready to start a family. So when he finally got back, you told him!

“Babe! I think i’m ready for a family! With you!” You said happily and confidently. But when you saw his eyes widen in surprise, you didn’t expect them to also be oh so regretful.

“Y-you are..?” He asks, suddenly shaking. His stomach drops to the floor while his heart breaks simultaneously. You... you prepared yourself all on your own, just for him. And he knows he fucked up, getting some other girl pregnant, but he was so angry and sad he just.... it just... happened.

Just then, he gets a call, from the one person he really did not want to talk to. The other woman he got pregnant. He was so scared to pick up the phone, so you did. He froze. ‘No..! You cant pick that up...it will ruin us..’

“Hey! Shin! The baby just kicked! I hope its a girl.... Shin..?” The girl says on the other end, happy and excited.

“wh..what?” You say, confused. “Who are you..?”

“I’m his girlfriend! Who are you silly?” She says, still bubbly.

“I-” You start, and then hang up. It could not be. He did not get another woman pregnant, he was your baby, no one else...right? You slowly look over to Kita, hoping you didn’t just hear what you think you did.

He looks down, guilt and shame washing over his built figure.

“I’m so sorry... it wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did and I can’t just leave her by herself..” He says, voice gradually getting louder.

“So.. you couldn’t just wait a little longer huh...it’s okay, I hope you two will be happy.” You walked away after that, and just then was when Kita realized he was loosing you. He panicked, and reached out for your hand, but you were already gone, into the bedroom you both shared, presumably packing.

But it’s when he sees you walk out the door, tears streaming down your face, and sobs wracking you body, that reality finally shifted. You were leaving, and he was now responsible for a child that wasn’t yours. He was mortified to say the least.

“Bye Shin, i’ll always love you y’know.. I hope your child is as beautiful as you.”

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Lev-

Today was your birthday! And you were so excited to spend it with your beanpole boyfriend! But he hadn’t answered your texts yet, and your calls either. You understood he had a photo-shoot, but it was over hours ago, even his manager didn’t know where he was. So you decided to check his snapmap because you were genuinely worried??

But when you saw his bitmoji at an unrecognized address, you freaked out and drove there immediately.

When you got there, his car was parked in the driveway, and the lights were on inside. You could also hear the faint hum of soft music.

Lev was always so gentle with you, and he never raised hid voice or got angry with you. You loved that about him, how soft he was. When you guys first met, he was willing to take things slow, and wait until you were both comfortable with eachother.

He was always so patient, or so you thought. You weren’t ready for anything intimate other than kissing, and he said he was okay with that. But horny men will be horny men.

But you at least thought he could wait a little longer for you, his girlfriend of 11 months. At least those were the thoughts that flew through your head as you walked into the mystery house.

It was Lev, laid out on a bed with silk sheets, rose petals scattered everywhere, and Champaign on the nightstand next to him.

Well, more like next to the other woman in bed with him, dressed in red lacy lingerie and pretty makeup. The candle-light makes them both look so majestic, well they would if they both didn’t have shocked/guilty expressions on their faces.

Lev got up immediately and tried to grab your arm, but you shrugged him off.

“I trusted you, and I loved you, I still love you! But here you are, with another woman, on my birthday. Happy fucking birthday to me i guess.”

He stood there dumbfounded as you walked out, your confident facade breaking as tears slip down your rosy cheeks. Then, you drive away, knowing things will never be the same...

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Annnnnd it’s finally out! Not proofread i’m sorry </3 Kita’s hurt the most smh

ALSOOOO don’t forget you are fucking gorgeous and ilysm pls take care of your gorgeous self!

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#haikyuu x reader #lev habia #kita shinsuke #goshiki tsutomu #aone takanobu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #angst #haikyuu angst #anime #cheating au #pls this hurt

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