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#S&B chapter 3
stromuprisahat · 4 months
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This country, the Darkling shouted. They can’t even let you fake your death in peace!
I knew that the more powerful Grisha were said to live long lives, and Darklings were the most powerful of them all.
Shadow and Bone- Chapter 3
“How old are you? ... Because I’ve heard stories about you since I was a child, but you don’t look much older than I am. ... If you don’t want to answer me, just say so.”
“I don’t want to answer you.”
“Oh.”
Then he sighed and said, “One hundred and twenty. Give or take.”
“They said you were the strongest Darkling in generations.”
“I didn’t ask you for flattery.”
Shadow and Bone- Chapter 5
Just how fucked Ravka is, if the Darkling can’t even risk change of aliases?
“The world is changing, Alina. Muskets and rifles are just the beginning. I’ve seen the weapons they’re developing in Kerch and Fjerda. The age of Grisha power is coming to an end.”
That situation’s too unstable to fake his death and try to establish himself all over again?
Let’s say the weaponry’s a matter of last decade or so. What was it before?
“Do you know the story of Andrei Zhirov?” 
“The revolutionary?” 
Zhirov had been a radical in Nikolai’s grandfather’s time. 
A grin ghosted over Dominik’s blood-flecked lips. “When they tried to hang him for treason, the rope broke and he rolled into the ditch the soldiers had dug for his grave.” 
Nikolai tried to smile. “I never heard that story.” 
Dominik nodded. “This country, Zhirov shouted. They can’t even hang a man right.”
King of Scars- Chapter 12
“Nikolai’s granfather’s time” would be some twenty, thirty years ago? Assuming the royals hurry to ensure the succession ASAP...
There’s been a suggestion somewhere, that Grisha could’ve been used to subdue the uprising. Even if that wasn’t the case, as we can clearly see throughout the books, crises are great times to re-awake some nice anti-Grisha hatred. Failed attempt to improve situation of Ravkan people would likely cause some displeasure, and who better to aim that at, than the Crown’s fancy serfs? You can’t harm the King, but you can kick his toys.
The “Last” official Darkling lived as long as he did to keep an eye on Ravkan masses. He might be hated, he might be blamed for every possible misfortune, but he’s also feared enough to make people think twice before crossing him.
The minute he’s out of picture- anti-Grisha pogroms begin.
To quote show!Aleksander, when he was still allowed some braincells:
Our enemies are threatened by your mere existence. But Ravka can only stand up to them if we present a united front. And there is talk of uprising in the West, led by our. esteemed First Army General. Our own people, turning their backs on us. I have been fighting this war alone for so long. I have buried so many good soldiers. Friends. The coffers are running dry, the noose tightens... and our own people are turning against Grisha, just as their kin once did.
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Battle won! You got 66g and crushing guilt!
That’s the end of chapter 2! Who’s ready for chapter 3? ME! ME! But wait- what’s THIS?
Masterpost
Prev (ch:2::8)/ End of chapter 2!
Next (INTERLUDE)
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months
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anyways, in honour of 1 year of honeypre (rip) eos, what were your top stats like at the end of the game? i’ll go first~~~
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cock-holliday · 2 years
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Bait & Switch
Chapter 3/
(Chapter 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Post-Dreamland AU
Fandom: TXF
Rating: T
WC: 1628
At the station, local police filled them in a bit more on the pastor, giving details about the compound, the suspicion against him, and the concern for retaliation against law enforcement. It seemed like the goal was to scare the pastor with a visit from some suits. The officers suggested that a religious background might be a good connection to the pastor, nodding to the necklace around Mulder’s neck. Beyond that, if Pastor Graham decided to blow them away for stepping on his property, it would be no major loss to Kersh.
Mulder asked follow up questions, growing steadily irritated when the officers would give their answers to Scully and not him. Eventually the pair got the answers they were looking for. Apparently Pastor Graham was giving a talk in Maryland and would be back tomorrow–they couldn’t speak with him today. Mulder wanted to get a look at the edge of the property while the pastor was away, and a young officer snorted a laugh at the prospect.
“Don’t get your pretty panties in a twist, girl,” the officer replied, “You’ll see it when you go tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” Mulder hissed, the outrage blooming in his chest when the officer only smirked at his words.
“Hey,” Scully snapped, voice growling as she stepped in between Mulder and the officer, “That is a federal agent you’re talking to, Officer Claypool. You’ll show her the respect she deserves as your superior.”
The officer ducked his head, “Sorry,” he huffed, “It was just a joke.”
“You wanna talk about a joke?” Scully continued, “Let’s talk about this sloppy investigation. He’s a suspect in a potential terror situation and you don’t have eyes on him when he leaves the state? You haven’t been to the property yet. You don’t have a list of the members of his congregation or whether they are part of his militia. It seems like all you’ve done so far is piss me off and degrade my partner.”
The officer shrank back at Scully’s words.
“Now,” Scully went on, her tone growing calmer, “We’ll be back tomorrow. And when we are, you better have things in order for us.”
“Yes, sir,” Claypool nodded, not meeting Scully’s eye.
Scully nodded, “Good.”
She looked to Mulder, nodding over her shoulder for him to follow her out.
Once they exited the door, Mulder let out a snort.
“Feel good?”
“Extremely.”
Scully unlocked the car and they both climbed inside. Silence began to settle over them as she put the keys in the ignition.
“I’m sorry, Scully,” Mulder said softly, breaking the silence.
Scully paused, “For what?”
“How they talk to you,” he explained, “I knew people did but…”
“It’s different to be the one they say it to?”
Mulder nodded gently, “You don’t deserve that.”
Scully smiled, reaching across the console to squeeze his hand. Mulder was amused at how small his hand felt in hers. Her hand was all-encompassing. Warm. Comforting. He hoped that this was what he did for her.
Scully let go of his hand and started the car again, then paused.
“Does it make you uncomfortable?”
The way they talk down to you? Very.
Before Mulder could reply, Scully nodded to him and her eyes fell on the cross necklace, “Wearing that, I mean? I know it’s not your faith…and pinning it to you like this…”
Mulder huffed a surprised laugh, “Oh. This?” he touched the necklace, “No–I mean, it’s not even the first time I’ve–”
The realization of what he just said hit him at the same time it hit Scully. Her eyes were on him, piercing. It was so bizarre to be under the scrutinizing gaze of your own eyes. Stranger still was seeing Scully’s expressions on his own face. It was his eyes. It was his mouth. But it was the way Scully searched his face for an explanation. It was the way Scully’s lips parted slightly in concern. She looked like him, but there was no mistaking the Scully under it all.
“The first time you what?”
It was framed as a question, but it wasn’t. Or at least not what, but when.
“When you…” Mulder’s mouth felt dry, “When you were abducted, and I kept it safe for you. I wore it. I didn’t want to lose it.”
And it felt like a piece of you was with me when I wore it.
Scully swallowed at his words, “Oh.”
She turned back to the wheel and stared ahead, and Mulder wondered if he should have lied.
Scully blinked rapidly and it occurred to Mulder that she was trying to keep tears out of her eyes.
“Thank you,” she said softly, so quietly Mulder almost didn’t hear it.
He nodded, but she wasn’t looking at him.
“We should go,” Scully concluded, taking the brake off and gently pressing the gas.
After work, the pair thought it might be best to stay in the same place. They settled on Mulder’s place, but Scully was going to need some supplies for Mulder. She would pack clothes and toiletries, helping him to get ready in the morning. Who knew how long they would be like this. Mulder would need to learn her routine–or at least a modified version of it. After Scully packed a bag at her apartment, they reached Mulder’s place in no time. 
Scully sat the bag down by the couch and sighed loudly. They both were worn out.
Mulder disappeared into the bedroom to clean up the place while Scully ordered them food. He was surprised and horrified to find a water bed and a mirror on the underside of the canopy top. Did the Gunmen do this as a joke? Was the universe so out-of-whack that his bed also had to be ridiculous? He shook his head, resigning himself to moving the remaining boxes around. When he reemerged, he felt even more exhausted. “I cleaned up the bedroom a bit,” he explained, pulling a curious look from Scully, “You can have the bed.”
“Oh,” Scully replied, then seemed to think on it, “Are you sure? I can take the couch. I’m sm–” she stopped herself.
“Smaller?” he laughed, “Not right now you’re not.”
Scully laughed a little, “Okay. Thank you.”
Mulder sat down hard on the couch, and the stiffness of the furniture weighed on his body. He frowned.
“What is it?” Scully asked.
“It…just occurred to me,” he told her, “I’m used to the couch. But you aren't.”
Scully’s eyes widened in understanding, “Oh. You’re right.”
Part of Mulder wanted to push ahead. He could tolerate the couch. It was his pain after all. But was it? If they woke up tomorrow and switched back, he didn’t want her waking up sore.
“We can just share the bed,” Scully told him.
Mulder bit his lip, deciding. On one hand, they’d be on the same level. Neither of them resigned to the couch. On the other, sharing a bed with Scully both delighted him and made him very nervous.
Scully rolled her eyes when a knock rang out on the door, “Don’t overthink it, Mulder,” she said, “I can hear the gears turning in your brain.”
Scully answered the door, collecting their food and paying the delivery man.
The pair dug into their pizza, watched half a movie, then decided to turn in. They took turns in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Scully initially packed pajamas for him, but Mulder asked to wear his own clothes to sleep. He was grasping at straws of familiarity, and Scully fortunately wasn’t offended. A pair of Mulder’s boxers were like basketball shorts on him and he swam in a t-shirt. In the end, they both moved to grab Mulder’s Oxford sweatshirt.
Scully laughed and stepped back, “You can wear it,” she said.
Mulder had to admit, he was deeply curious about seeing her in his clothes. Regardless of who wore the sweatshirt tonight, he would get to.
Mulder slipped the crewneck on over his head and Scully gave him a lingering look. He wanted to press and ask what was on her mind, but he got the feeling that they were thinking the same thing. Mulder climbed onto the bed, surprised how small he felt in it, and flopped overtop of the covers. He stared up at his reflection in the overhead mirror and tried to tamp down the way his heart fluttered.
Scully climbed in hesitantly next to him, sliding underneath the sheets.
“Do you want in the bed?” Scully asked.
“I run hot when I sleep,” Mulder explained.
“You do, but I don’t.”
She was probably right. He slid under the covers, avoiding looking up at their reflection–the image of them in the bed together. He closed his eyes, sighing and settling in.
“Why a waterbed?” he heard Scully ask.
Mulder’s eyes snapped open.
“The mirror I get, I guess,” Scully clarified, “But a waterbed?”
“It was like this when I came in here,” Mulder sighed, “It’s been a long while since I’ve slept in my bed, but it was a normal bed last time I did. No mirror either.”
Scully’s brow rose, “You didn’t do this?”
“Maybe the universe did.”
Scully snorted a laugh, “Right. You know you can just tell me if you did. You don’t have to make things up because you’re embarrassed.”
Mulder rolled his head over to look at Scully, who was suppressing a smirk.
“I know my tastes aren’t everyone’s slice of pie,” Mulder explained, “But I can promise you I am not a mirror-on-the-ceiling type of guy.”
Scully snorted and rolled over, facing away from Mulder, “Must be true–it rhymes.”
Mulder bit his lip, trying not to laugh. Looking up at the mirror, he could see a smile on Scully’s face.
“Goodnight, Scully.”
“Goodnight, Mulder.”
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sanchoyo · 4 months
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debating posting (2) pages of tm2 next week since it'll drop the day after v-tines (my fav holiday) 🤔
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wandasaura · 4 months
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𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒
༊*·˚ dom!wanda x soft dom!natasha x reader
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summary — when wanda and natasha decide to add a third party their marriage, they don’t expect to form a romantic connection with you. they especially don’t expect for you to hate wanda.
warning(s) — essentially a sugar baby dynamic to start, enemies to lovers with wanda, dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink, eventual mommy kink, shameless smut, aftercare, fluff galore. additional warnings are provided in each chapter. men/minors dni
au — wanda and natasha are ceo’s to the most successful law firm in the world because who could ever argue with them
PARTS — completed.
(1) the one you reached for [ 8.6k ]
(2) lovelorn and nobody knows [ 13.3k ]
(3) linger like a tattoo kiss [ 12.2k ]
(4) it was never mine [ 13.4 ]
ONESHOTS — parts will be added as written
(a) my face in a red flush [ 7.1k ]
(b) burning brighter than the sun [ 6.4k ]
(c) see what’s under that attitude [ 7.1k ]
(d) two people understand each other [ 5k ]
(e) too in love to think straight [ 7.4k ]
(f) love is a ruthless game [ 10.8k ] +
(g) the best thing thats ever been mine [ 7.2k ] +
(h) song in the car [ 5.5k ]
BLURBS — parts will be added as written
(i) end up dreaming instead of sleeping [ 1.2k ]
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animusrox · 4 months
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TOP 10
Past Lives
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
How to Blow Up a Pipeline
Poor Things
Oppenheimer
Barbie
BlackBerry
The Holdovers
The Iron Claw
Killers of the Flower Moon
MY LETTERBOXD Grade A 11.    The Killer 12.    Beau Is Afraid 13.    Dream Scenario 14.    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 15.    Godzilla Minus One 16.    American Fiction 17.    They Cloned Tyrone 18.     Evil Dead Rise 19.    Eileen 20.    The Artifice Girl 21.   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 22.    Talk to Me 23.    Reality 24.    Leave the World Behind 25.    A Thousand and One 26.    Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One 27.    Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. 28.    Theater Camp 29.   Carmen 30.    Merry Little Batman 31.    Priscilla 32.    Society of the Snow 33.    Infinity Pool 34.    Enys Men 35.    Sanctuary 36.    Rye Lane 37.    Skinamarink 38.    Monster 39.    Anatomy of a Fall 40.    Landscape with Invisible Hand 41.    Reptile 42.    Sisu 43.    Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game 44.    No One Will Save You 45.    Tetris 46.    May December 47.    The Zone of Interest 48.    V/H/S/85 49.    Dumb Money 50.    El Conde 51.    Arnold 52.    Maestro 53.    Napoleon 54.    20 Days in Mariupol 55.    Influencer 56.    The Creator 57.    Origin 58.    Thanksgiving 59.    Next Goal Wins 60.    The Boy and the Heron 61.    Bottoms 62.    Wonka
[Press Keep Reading For The Full Graded List]
Grade B
63.   God Is a Bullet 64.    No Hard Feelings 65.    Joy Ride 66.    Fair Play 67.     Cocaine Bear 68.    NYAD 69.    Asteroid City 70.    Nowhere 71.    The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster 72.    Divinity 73.    The Equalizer 3 74.    The Last Voyage of the Demeter 75.    Venus 76.    Butcher’s Crossing 77.    Somewhere in Queens 78.    The Persian Version 79.    Boston Strangler 80.    Polite Society 81.    Miguel Wants to Fight 82.    The Color Purple 83.    The Royal Hotel 84.    Saw X 85.    All of Us Strangers 86.    Fallen Leaves 87.    Ferrari 88.    Elemental 89.    Peter Pan & Wendy 90.    Renfield 91.    Cat Person 92.    Scream VI 93.    The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes 94.    BS High 95.    Blue Beetle 96.    Huesera: The Bone Woman 97.    When Evil Lurks 98.    Dark Harvest 99.    A Good Person 100.    Final Cut 101.    Knock at the Cabin 102.    Quiz Lady 103.    Leo 104.    Air 105.    The Super Mario Bros. Movie 106.    Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham 107.    John Wick: Chapter 4 108.    Beaten to Death 109.    The Wrath of Becky 110.    Passages 111.    Transformers: Rise of the Beasts 112.    Gran Turismo 113.    65 114.    Sick 115.    Sister Death 116.    The Blackening 117.    Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain 118.    Flamin’ Hot 119.    Nimona 120.    Cobweb 121.    Totally Killer 122.    What’s Love Got to Do with It? 123.     Sharper 124.    Unseen 125.    Dunki 126.    Bird Box Barcelona 127.    The Marvels 128.    Shazam! Fury of the Gods
Grade C
129.   Wildflower 130.    Freelance 131.    M3GAN 132.    Strays 133.    Sympathy for the Devil 134.    Creed III 135.    Chevalier 136.    The Marsh King’s Daughter 137.    A Haunting in Venice 138.    The Little Mermaid 139.    Silent Night 140.    Master Gardener 141.    The Flash 142.    Fast X 143.    The Pope’s Exorcist 144.    Saltburn 145.    Kandahar 146.    Stand 147.    Plane 148.   Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 149.    Fingernails 150.    Quicksand 151.    Fool’s Paradise 152.    Migration 153.    Rustin 154.    The Covenant 155.    Good Burger 2 156.    The Pod Generation 157.    Alice, Darling 158.    Insidious: The Red Door 159.    Missing 160.    Shotgun Wedding 161.    You Hurt My Feelings 162.    The Boogeyman 163.    Showing Up 164.    Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom 165.    Champions 166.    Consecration 167.    The Nun II 168.    Biosphere 169.    House Party 170.    The Exorcist: Believer 171.    Big George Foreman 172.    Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves 173.    Children of the Corn 174.    The Beanie Bubble 175.    Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
Grade F
176.    Anyone But You 177.    Marlowe 178.    Paint 179.    Extraction 2 180.    It Lives Inside 181.    Deliver Us 182.    Trolls Band Together 183.    Finestkind 184.    Corner Office 185.    Wish 186.    Prisoner’s Daughter 187.    Pain Hustlers 188.    Foe 189.    The Mother 190.    Old Dads 191.    Ghosted 192.    Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken 193.    Haunted Mansion 194.    Mafia Mamma 195.    Five Nights at Freddy’s 196.    The Machine 197.    Justice League: Warworld 198.    We Have a Ghost 199.    What Comes Around 200.    Legion of Super-Heroes 201.    The Boys in the Boat 202.    Attachment 203.    Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre 204.    About My Father 205.    You People 206.    Meg 2: The Trench 207.    Pathaan 208.    Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire 209.    Assassin 210.    Dalíland 211.    Vacation Friends 2
Bottom 10
212.    Sound of Freedom 213.    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 214.    When You Finish Saving The World 215.    Heart of Stone 216.    Family Switch 217.    Expend4bles 218.    Sweetwater 219.    Hypnotic 220.    80 for Brady 221.    Spinning Gold
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garoujo · 2 years
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Being an anime only in the tokrev fandom is the scariest thing ever
i’d tell someone to start the manga but also in the same breath tell them not to start the manga cause i’ve not known happiness since </3
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crazilust · 1 month
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What main character energy should you embody for this next chapter
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From left to right : Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3.
Pile 1
confirmation/what’s coming instinctively : Brown eyes, brown, guitar, vynils, green shoes, docs, bangs, rings (lots of them, Virgo/Earth energy, hardwood floors, The Emperor, Goddess energy, Water sign, Water dom, Loves water, loves nature, loves animals, Names that start with a J, F, P, S
the message :
You should embody the main character that moves out of her town to start her character ark. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll physicall leave your town (although, you might!) but you definitely need to leave some things behind. I’m sensing friends, maybe even family members. Your environement is getting too small for you, which is maybe why I’m getting small town vibes. You are someone that needs a lot of recognition, even from yourself and you’re not getting any where you are right now. Are you proud of yourself? I doubt it. But you need to make the proper steps to find your place in this universe and there is a place for you but you need to look for it! I see you in a new apartment, maybe a bit lonely at first, but it’s because it’ll be the first time you really get to know yourself and discovering your true self. You have been repressing your true taste, your true interests, your true self with those people you’ve been surrounding yourself with. It’s not healthy and it’s getting dangerous at this point cause you’re starting to lose yourself. Leave. That would be my advice for you.
Pile 2
confirmation/ what i’m getting instinctively: Fighter, Orange is the new black, Piper Chapman, Blue, Glacier, Grey, long hair, fake smile, dimples, the emperor Reversed, bad relationships with caregivers, siblings, many friends, Aquarius, Pisces, car, driving, roadtrip, name that starts with M, N, X, V.
the message :
Woah! Okay! Love this energy, but hard to catch honestly. You don’t like being seen, huh? It’s okay, me neither! The journey you should embark on is the one where you’re gonna get thrown into an environment that is completely unfamiliar to you. A bit like pile 1 in the sense that it’s not something you’re used to, but contrary to that pile, you don’t decide to go into this environment, you’ll get thrown into it. I can sense you have some sort of anger issues and this will be the perfect environment to finally let it out. I can feel that although you have a very polished appearance, you actually feel like a wild animal inside. In this new environment, you’ll finally face yourself as you really are. You won’t be able to fake it, or to act like you’ve always done it. It won’t be possible anymore. You’ll have to be your real self, even tho it might disappoint people around you. Oh, you probably don’t want that. Too bad, because you will disappoint people, but you’ll make some real connections out there. When you’ll get out of that environment (because yes, it is temporary I feel), you’ll look back and won’t even recognize yourself. I think you’re quite excited for that. Deep down.
Pile 3
confirmation/what i’m getting instinctively: Twilight, Bella Swan, break up, torture, painful love, toxic love, mean, smiles with bad intentions, agenda, skinny, long hands, pale (or pale for your ethnicity), doesn’t like their hair, Aries/Taurus/Sag/Pisces, Fire dom, Neptune dom, Jupiter Dom, lucky but fails to see it
the message : Oh I’m getting major Bella Swan vibes lmao. Not necessarily her temperament, but mostly what she’s going thru. You’ve been thru a bad breakup and that person has left you empty inside. You find yourself staring at the window, and wondering why it ended the way it did. Stop obsessing over the past. You’re at a point of your journey where you need to change gear. You cannot keep going like that or you’ll litteraly become a shell of yourself. Get up of your bed, take a deep breath, take a walk. Anything. But reminiscing on someone that is gone, won’t do any good. Btw, they’re gone now but they’ll come back. I know you’re excited, but they’ll come back when you won’t care and then you’ll be like : “huh, i don’t even see what I saw in you anymore”. It’ll be a very satisfying feeling for you. In the meantime, cause you’re not there yet, focus on healing. See some friends, get into a hobby. Anything that could take your mind off of him. Why do you fixate over him? Was he something he did? Or didn’t do? Focus on moving on. That’s your journey for now. That’s the part of movie where we all root and get excited for the protagonist to get on her two feet. That’s your part. You got this.
• 🧡🍯👑🐰🪀 •
and that’s all from me folks, thank you so much 🧡
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artisticspacebuns · 2 years
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awww hell yea body positivity (fake) chapter 2 baby!
yall thought i forgot, but i never forget >:) 
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stromuprisahat · 5 days
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Siege and Storm- Chapter 20 (Leigh Bardugo)
Third "amplifier" hint? Now?
Why?
Why never before?
I looked up the previous two. There's nothing even remotely similar with the Sea Whip. No connection, no strange feelings, but then again Alina killed him before touching him. The Stag's mildly different:
The stag didn’t move as I approached him, not even when I reached out my hand and laid it on his warm muzzle. His ears twitched slightly, his hide glowing milky white in the deepening gloom. I thought of everything Mal and I had given up, the risks we’d taken. I thought about the weeks we had spent tracking the herd, the cold nights, the miserable days of endless walking, and I was glad of it all. Glad to be here and alive on this chilly night. Glad that Mal was beside me. I looked into the stag’s dark eyes and knew the feel of the earth beneath his steady hooves, the smell of pine in his nostrils, the powerful beat of his heart. I knew I could not be the one to end his life.
Shadow and Bone- Chapter 19
Assuming this is supposed to be a clue, what Malyen is, shouldn't there be a similarity between the three? It doesn't resemble even another amplifier Alina touched- the Darkling.
I cried out in terror as I felt the Darkling’s fingers close around my bare wrist. Suddenly, my fear receded. It was still there, cringing like an animal inside me, but it had been pushed aside by something calm and sure and powerful, something vaguely familiar. I felt a call ring through me and, to my surprise, I felt something in me rise up to answer. I pushed it away, pushed it down. ... Then the Darkling released his grip, and with his touch went that peculiar sense of certainty that had possessed me.
Shadow and Bone- Chapter 3
If anything- the melting of the Stag's view with Alina resembles her Bond with the Darkling.
When his fingers closed, a sharp jolt rocked through me, buckling my knees. The world tilted, and I gasped.
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hellishjoel · 10 months
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off to the races
6.3k / dbf!joel x f!reader
Series Masterlist | Next Chapter
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pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4
series summary: You and your parents rent a lakeside cabin, Joel and Sarah Miller are your neighbors. You’re all grown up, and you’ll do anything to prove to Joel you’re a woman now. 
warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), NO OUTBREAK, neighbor!joel, age gap (reader is in their early 20’s while Joel is in his 40’s), alcohol consumption, slight daddy issues lol, cursing, use of pet names, dominant!joel, maybe a lil brat tamer!joel, oral sex (m receiving), a lil praise kink, a lil degradation kink, facial, etc. you know ;)
A/N: needed to get cool slutty daddy out of my system. He’s just a Lana coded man!! I plan on turning this into a series, I hope it get's some love! let me know what you think by sending me an ask!
Your desperate eyes met his, trying to gauge what he thought. You hated how you looked like you wanted him so bad. He was your neighbor, your friend’s dad, but you wanted him to be something for you too.  “I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doin-”  His words made your chest go tight and your eyes filled with pure horror. What have you done?! “But you need to be the one to walk away, because I don’t think I can.”
Summers in Danbury were what you looked forward to all year long when you were younger. You would love the long drive to the lakeside cabin, swimming in the dazzling blue water all day, and catching fireflies at night before ending it with roasting s'mores over the campfire. 
Now, all Danbury reminded you of were your parents stripping your feeling of independence as soon as you stepped in their embrace and the lack of cell service. 
It wasn’t all that bad, though. Who were you to complain about an all-expense paid vacation on the water? Your parents were fine, you just graduated from university, everything was just.. good. It almost made you a little bored, thinking about the impending summer. 
The warm sun’s kiss on your skin was a welcomed greeting after spending the past 9 months away at school out of state, your eyes twinkling below your sunglasses as you stepped out of the car. It was good to be back in Texas.
“Look, there she is!” Your dad cooed as he was eager to point out the sign that sat beside the entrance of the cabin that read ‘Life is Better at the Cabin’. Cheesy. It wasn’t your choice of decor since it was just a rental property, but still. You also despised the ‘The Secret Ingredient is Always Love’ sign in the kitchen. 
You plopped your bags down at the end of your bed, the one just down the hall from your parents, quick to plug in your phone charger though it made little difference with your lack of a strong signal. 
You turned your head to the window, seeing an old, beaten pickup truck turn onto gravel, a small smile peaking on your lips. 
“Hey, look who it is!” Your dad cheered eagerly from the living room, appearing to also be gazing out the window at the sight coming down the road and pulling into the house next to yours. 
The truck in question belonged to Joel Miller and his daughter, Sarah. Sarah had been your close friend each and every summer since you were little. You two were attached at the hip once your family started vacationing here, despite her being a fair five years younger. You two got along nonetheless. 
You stepped outside to greet them, as your mother and father were already out doing, your face lighting up as Sarah made a b-line to your embrace. “Oh my god! Look at you!” She praised, her eyes lighting up at your appearance. 
You two didn’t get the chance to spend the past few summers together due to business with school or internships on your part, so her surprise in seeing you a few years grown up was warranted. 
“Look at me? Look at you!” You said through punched lungs as she hugged you so tight you were losing your breath. 
If you thought Sarah’s tight hug was bad, you weren’t prepared to see what was waiting on the other side of the pickup truck. 
Your lips parted at the sight of Joel Miller. He was sort of… handsome. Was that wrong to think that? I mean, he was so much older than you, someone’s dad, Sarah’s dad. You tried not to let your eyes linger for too long but his voice pitched into the conversation and you had been caught. 
“Hey, Skids.” Ugh. That dreaded nickname you had yet to wear off. “Haven’t seen you these past few summers. Happy to be done with school?” Joel’s southern drawl was a shock to your system after being up in the Midwest for school. 
He was tall and rugged, so unkempt. His hair was tousled everywhere and his beard was growing with salt and pepper stippling through the landscape of his jawline. He looked hot, the faint glisten and stain of sweat marking the collar of his shirt and at the sides of his biceps. 
You blinked a few times before a graceful smile fluttered on your lips.
“Hi, Mr. Miller.” You gently cooed. What? If he could call you by that horrid nickname he had given you when you were barely ten, you could call him by his surname. Your eyes caught his own shift, his jaw twitching at his name being called like that. It was just his name after all, right? 
“Joel.” He corrected with a raised eyebrow, your eyes finally dragging themselves away from his handsome character as they turned to your parents, who were obsessing over Sarah. She was about to go into her senior year of high school, so of course, they had all of the basic questions to ask her. Are you taking any advanced classes? Are you still on the swim team? Do you know where you want to go to college?
You tried to look interested, but you could still feel Joel’s gravitating stare in your direction. 
You were just imagining things, right? He was looking one foot over, to Sarah and your family. Except he wasn’t. You know because you snuck a casual glance over to him, and he was still on you. His gaze alone made a shiver travel up your spine. 
While Sarah and your parents were nestled in their own world of conversation, you take a few subtle steps away and join him by his truck. It still felt warm, the engine relaxing after a good drive in the Texas heat. 
“You need a new truck. She looks like she’s on her deathbed.” You point out, the one corner of his mouth tugging up as he kept his eye on Sarah and your folks with his arms crossed in front of his broad chest. 
“She’s just fine.” He retorts nonchalantly. You hated that about him. You could never figure out what he was thinking, unpredictable but not exactly chaotic. 
“She?” You asked with raised eyebrows. “I always knew you had a special woman in your life. Didn’t know she was so old, though.” You egged him on, your favorite pastime in the summers; Grinding the gears of an old man who had a bigger attitude than you most days. 
“You still have quite the mouth on you. Glad to see that hasn’t changed.” Joel said sarcastically as he pushed himself off the front of the truck with his hip, his head nodding off to the side in a silent way of telling you to follow him. You watched as he pulled down the tailgate, rust screeching until it stopped with a generous thump. 
“Supposed to be Sarah helping me with this, but since she’s busy being Miss Danbury, you can help me.” He said as he pointed to some firewood and other bigger pieces of wood in varying sizes. 
“What do you plan on doing with all this wood anyway? I think the Amazon is looking for it.” You huffed but climbed up into the back of the truck bed without him asking you to. His protective hand instinctively guided your hip for stability, and you felt a rush of air pump through your lungs. “Thanks.” You murmur before you start reaching for stacks you could handle. 
“Sarah wanted to throw y'all a bonfire with it being your first day back for the summer or what have you.” Before you could stop yourself, you were already cooing at him as you jumped down from the tailgate, watching as Joel gave a tight face of annoyance. Don’t do that, you’re gonna get yourself hurt. 
It took Joel all of two seconds to grab two of the larger cut pieces, throwing each of them onto his shoulders. You couldn’t help but stare at his biceps that cradled the wood, the tan skin and muscles popping out of the dark green t-shirt he wore. Focus, focus, focus, focus, focusfocusfocus. 
“And the bigger pieces? What are those for?” You asked out of sheer curiosity now once he threw them down in the back of his lawn, the sight of your parents and Sarah long gone. 
He shrugged and shook his head, his hands on his hips as a layer of sweat started to build up around his hairline. “Just carvin’ projects. The rest can be used for scrap lumber around the lake properties.” His head finally turned to look at you, his eyes raking you up and down for a moment before nodding to your lake house rental. “Doin’ property maintenance over the summer on the houses ‘round here.”
“So if we need maintenance, we call you now?” You asked with a dubious face, to which he nodded. 
This man never stopped. It made sense, you supposed. You reflected on the summers in the past, knowing Joel to manage his own contracting business and picking up odd jobs around town. You remember one summer, he redid the flooring of an old bakery in town and then built custom shelves for the loaves of bread and bagels. Another summer, he repaved people’s driveways with blacktop. He was a laborer, a blue-collar man through and through. 
“That’s right, Skids.” The nickname made you scowl at him again, but you wouldn’t mind seeing Joel Miller laid under your kitchen sink or repairing the window in your bedroom so it could finally let in some fresh air. Frankly, you just wouldn’t mind seeing Joel Miller. 
After Joel reclaimed his daughter from your parents with a snarky yet subtle, Thanks for all your help, kiddo to Sarah, he said goodbye to you and your family as everyone parted ways back to their own homes. 
-
You were tired from the drive, but you didn’t lack attendance to the bonfire Sarah was putting together specifically for you in a welcome back to Danbury! sort of celebration. She invited the other nearby neighbors, so by the time you finally joined, it was packed with people sitting around the fire. People who lived on the lake loved a good party, anything with beer to keep them occupied. 
It was a lot of talking and bottles clinking, marshmallows on sticks, and a crackling fire blazing at the center of everyone. You weren’t one for beer but Sarah insisted on feeding you bottle after bottle. 
She liked sharing secrets with you, away from her dad. She considered you someone she could tell anything to. And you felt the same way. So not more than half an hour later, you two were giggling and sitting on the tailgate of Joel’s old pickup truck when you saw him start to saunter over.  You saw him coming first, snatching Sarah’s bottle out of her hand and taking a sharp inhale as you hid away your own. Sarah’s secret, right? 
“Dad,” she playfully whined when he came over to bust their little party. 
He was silent for a moment before he looked at the dwindling flames. “Fire’s gettin’ low.” He pointed out, looking between the two of you.
His face was lit up in a mix of gold hue from the fire and silver from the moon. His face had this intensity, a bucked-out jawline, cheekbone, and nose. It was like he was carved from stone. 
Sarah was silent, not wanting to leave behind her friends at the bonfire to shuffle over more wood. You softly nodded as you took a swig of her beer bottle in your hand before setting it down once you hopped off the truck bed. 
“I can help.” You offered. Joel looked down at you hesitantly, sneaking a glance to where your parents sat around the growing circle of people.
“Yeah.. yeah, ‘lright.” Joel said as the two of you walked off to the dividing line on his property, the wood you had dropped carelessly earlier in the day now in a neat stack. You certainly weren’t drunk, but slamming Sarah’s beer along with the other ones she ushered you before was now messing with your head, the edges of your vision a little fuzzy, especially in the dark since the glow of the bonfire was at such a distance. 
Before you knew it, you were stacking the wood into your arms, too much maybe. Joel called out your name in a warning tone. 
“No, I got it! See?” You tried to reason with a cocky smile as he shook his head. 
“You don’t like to listen.” He gruffly said as he started picking up the smaller pieces as they fell out of your arms. 
You couldn’t help the playful scoff that left your lips, still insistent on stacking more in your arms, going as far as tucking some in your elbows but all they did was drop at your feet once you went to reach for more. 
“Stop bein’ so damn difficult.” He piped up again as he snagged your wrist, halting your movements. 
“Yeah? I thought you liked difficult women.” Your words were fast like a whip, your eyes challenging his own as the two of you shared unnecessarily long eye contact. 
“Drop-- the wood. Stop bein’ a-” 
“A what?” You challenged. The distance between you two suddenly felt like it was becoming air-tight, his eyes narrowing on yours as his features hardened. He didn’t look mad, lord knows you’d never want to actually make Joel Miller mad. He just looked-- provoked. 
“A brat.” He finally bit, your teeth clenching at the name. The shock of it all made your arms finally burst open like a dam breaching with water, all of them falling to your feet as you let out an involuntary squeal. God, you did not want him to hear that noise leave you like that. 
You finally tugged away your wrist from his hand, your eyes leaving his daggered gaze to examine your palm that had a decent size splinter plunged into the center of it. 
“Shit,” You swore, feeling whatever heat you had left in your body pooling to your stringing finger. 
You heard Joel let out a debated sigh before he took you by your wrist, much more gentle this time, and tried to bring it up closer to his eyes to examine it. 
“Can’t see for shit out here.” He grumbled. You couldn’t see it either but you could feel right where it spread searing pain through the rest of your hand. 
“I got some tweezers in my workshop, I’ll get it out.” Joel offered as he started walking a few paces but you let out an involuntary whimper at the sound of him taking it out. 
“You don’t want that to get infected, do you?” He asked with a true voice of reason, to which you let out a sigh of agreement and followed him to his workshop.
You had only been inside Joel’s workshop a handful of times. You remember once your dad dragged you over so he could talk to Joel about his truck, and you had to wait there and wait there until they finished gabbing. Another time was when you explored it on your own, your eyes fascinated by the little world he surrounded himself in. It wasn’t all wood like you’d expect it to be. He had old guns mounted on the wall, ladders hung up in the rafters, and dusty old fishing plaques that made you disgusted at the sight. It housed his tools, the same ones he had been using for years. He knew where they were by heart, not even looking when he reached for something. Everything had its place, down to the tweezers he immediately found in an old little toolbox. 
“Here,” he said as he pointed to an old metal stool as tall as your waist. You sat down on the cold metal, a little hiss of discomfort leaving you as he sighed. “Always somethin’.” Joel shook his head and offered you a spare dusty blanket, shaking your head. 
“Just-- fix my hand. Please.” You said as you displayed your palm to him, now seeing it in the light for the first time. Okay.. it didn’t actually look as bad as it felt. Joel actually smiled as he looked at the tiny sliver shoved into the skin. 
“..Might have to amputate it.” He said with a half-serious tone, as joking as Joel could sound. But there was a little glint in his eye, one of satisfaction from his own joke.  
“Joel Miller has a sense of humor? I’m surprised. And pleasantly delighted.” You teased as he huffed and shook his head, the smile that graced his lips already came and gone. Sort of. He just looked down at your hand so you couldn’t directly see it anymore. 
It took you until now to see that he changed out of his dark green shirt from this afternoon and into an old 80’s rock band shirt with a worn dark navy flannel over it. He must have showered after laboring in the Texas heat. The thought made your stomach churn in excitement. 
You shivered at how cold you felt all of a sudden, no longer by the warm fire and on this damn metal stool. You shifted uncomfortably on it, cursing yourself for wearing jean shorts. 
Joel let out an exasperated sigh as he stood up straighter and shoved off his flannel, your eyes softening at the sight. 
“You want me to take tweezers to your hand but you keep... shiftin’ around. Stand up.” He directed, and this time you didn’t debate with him. You hopped off the metal stool and he laid down the flannel. It was a nice gesture and you were grateful. You hoped the goosebumps were from the temperature, not how close he was. 
Joel pulled up another metal stool so he could steady himself, reeling himself in as close as he could and holding your palm open in his as his eyes squinted a little bit. 
You felt frozen in place, your lips parting as you slowly looked down to one of his knees that parted between your own legs. Fuck. You weren’t sure if it was the little buzz of beer still in your system but something drove you to have enough courage to gently lay your hand just above his kneecap. 
His eyes flicked up to yours, trying to read what was behind your thought process right now. He looked so confident, you feared you looked all shifty. 
You could feel the worn denim of his jeans under your palm but underneath, he was warm. He was as hot as a furnace as your body craved it. 
“The sliver.” You pointed back out, your voice smaller since you two were in such close proximity. You watched his chest heave as he took a deep breath, grumbling something under his breath before he focused back to his initial task. 
You pursed your lips as you both watched and felt the tweezers line up to the red and irritated skin, his movements precise and patient until you watched him clench the tool closed. 
You let out an involuntary breath of both relief and anticipation, just wanting it out already. 
“Hold on, just gotta make sure I..” Joel’s voice trailed off as he slowly pulled the tiny sliver from your palm, an uncomfortable whine leaving the back of your throat. 
His thigh twitched under your palm at the sound, not even realizing your hand had sunk higher up his jean-clad thigh. 
“Got it.” He finally said, swiping the tip of the tweezer on the table to display the nasty little piece of wood that had caused you all this grief. You let out a breath through your nostrils and nodded. 
“Thank God, no amputation.” You joked, to which he awarded you a small smile. 
“I’ll call the surgeon and tell ‘em to turn around. We’re good here.” Joel said as he gently released your wrist. You watched his features carefully, seeing his lips part as he glanced down to his leg that your hand still held for balance. 
“What’er you doin’?” He finally asked, his voice dropping an octave at the question. Shit. 
Don’t read this wrong, or this will be the most awkward interaction you and Joel have had to date. This is worse than when he saw you fall out of the inner tube while boating, worse than when some kid tripped you at the town barbeque, worse than when you fell off Sarah’s scooter so hard that he gave you the nickname Skids. 
“Woah, Skids! Better slow down!” God, that was so many years ago. His chuckle still echoed in your ears.
Now you were older, you were a woman. You had long legs and glowing skin, and a smile that knocked guy’s out of the fuckin’ park! But he was older too, older than you, younger than your dad but god, not by much. You were so close to him, you could inhale the distant smell of the bonfire, the one he probably made instead of Sarah. He also smelled like an old spice deodorant and fucking cigarettes. 
He was stingy, and greasy, and hot, and Joel. 
Your years of anticipation thinking about him like this was over. 
You bit down on your lower lip, your mind was foggy with the rushing in your heart,  feeling your ears pound and your palm still seared. He was a head taller than you while you sat together, and before you could stop yourself, you were leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his pulse. 
Your lips lingered around his neck for a moment, the sensitive skin of your mouth feeling beard stubble and tasting distant cologne. Your breath fanned over the skin, clammy but sweet with his sweat. 
He didn’t stop you, his eyes merely watching you carefully. 
“What’er you doin’?” He asked again, but this time, his words sounded more-- goading. Do it, I know you won’t. You’re chicken shit. If you know what you want, do it. 
Your heart raced as you nearly leaped off the stool, closing the distance between you two as you stood between his legs. Your hand moved higher on his thigh, so close that you were nearly touching the leather of his belt. Your mouth returned to the sweet spot of his pulse while your injured hand reached up to the opposite side of his neck to gently hold him there. 
“Joel,” you whispered his name breathlessly, asking him for more, feeling his head drop down beside yours. You feared you embarrassed yourself, he wasn’t reciprocating, he wasn’t--
The thoughts brewing in your head bubbled down to a boil as his firm arm wrapped itself low around your waist, keeping you to his front as he pulled down to look at you with a stern look on his face.. You were so fucked. 
Your desperate eyes met his, trying to gauge what he thought. You hated how you looked like you wanted him so bad. He was your neighbor, your friend’s dad, but you wanted him to be something for you too. 
“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doin-” 
His words made your chest go tight and your eyes filled with pure horror. What have you done?!
“But you need to be the one to walk away, because I don’t think I can.”
His words surprised you. He didn’t think he could walk away from you right now? Holy shit. 
Your heart was pumping so hard under his watchful gaze, seeing his eyes look from yours to your parted lips. But he didn’t kiss you, you don’t think you would let him. It felt too intimate. You just didn’t want another boring summer in Danbury and you were determined to have a fling. 
Who knew it would be with Joel Miller. But you wanted him. 
Your brave hands took him by the chest of his shirt, your mouth moving to his jawline as you balanced the tightrope of kissing and nibbling on the skin before your hands moved south to find his belt buckle. 
His legs naturally parted for you, catching a brief smirk on his lips as you took control of the situation. 
“Dirty girl goin’ right for my fuckin’ cock.” He whispered against the shell of your ear, a desperate nod leaving you while your cheek involuntarily rubbed against the stubble of his beard. You didn’t know he talked like that.
You initiated more space for yourself, nudging the inside of his thighs with your own legs as you had his back up against his drafting table with you no longer on his side but standing in front of him. 
Your quick fingers desperately undid his belt, feeling the old leather under your fingers. You didn’t have the balls to look at him and frankly, you were afraid you would lose your nerve if you did. 
His hands were encouraging for your nervous system, firm palms planted into your hips and even going as far as to squeeze the flesh that sat under your jean shorts. His body warmed you up, his eyes admiring you as you plucked open the button on his jeans. 
You pushed your tongue against your cheek in concentration, all of a sudden desperate at the thought of having him in your mouth. You dragged down the zipper, the relaxed denim exposing the black briefs he wore underneath that hugged his tan hips. 
You slowly sunk to your knees before him, as if you were worshiping a God. Maybe you were, it was Joel Miller, after all.
“This what you were learnin’ off at school?” Joel belittled, your head doing a few quick nods as a flush stained your cheeks. God. Something about Joel calling you a slut had you in a tailspin. You couldn’t wait anymore. 
Your fingers delicately felt over the impressive growth that his briefs held down, biting down on your bottom lip as you let your pointer finger make the outline of his girth. 
He let out an audible grunt at the action, his jaw jutted out, and his eyes filled with lust. “Lemme see that pretty mouth.” He practically purred, your chest rising and falling in anticipation as you slowly opened your mouth for him. You felt the intrusion of his thumb, a guttural moan leaving your throat as your big eyes stayed on his. He pinched at the inside of your cheek for a moment, your eyes twinging closed and opening back up with twinkling tears on the brim of flowing. 
“Good girl, keep that mouth open for me.” He encouraged as he pushed two fingers past your lips, testing you. And you were more than willing to accept his little challenge. His fingers pushed on the back of your tongue, feeling your lips graze all the way to his knuckle as you worked on breathing through the feeling of his fingers shoved down your throat. 
You were determined for him not to get the best of you, to prove how you had some experience under your belt. Your tongue willingly swirled around his digits, humming softly as you suckled. Now it was his turn to look like he was ready to fold. You felt him swell in your hand, the hand still stroking over his erection in his briefs. 
He ripped back his fingers, leaving them with a pop to your lips. Holy shit. You took a few deep breaths and swallowed, blinking back the tears that his fingers provoked from going so far down. 
“Damn, baby, look so pretty down on your knees for me. Don’t make me wait ‘ny longer.” Joel’s breaths were heavy, his southern drawl exaggerated in his lust-filled state. 
A proud smirk laced on your lips, his eyes on you as he watched you pry down the material of his briefs, watching as he lightly lifted his hips off the stool and using the drafting table behind him as leverage to let his jeans and boxers rest comfortably around the top of his thighs. What you had been craving slapped eagerly into the palm of your uninjured hand, an unexpected little moan leaving you. 
You studied his cock with anticipation, the glowing pinkish-red tip glistening with pre-cum from all the anticipation. He was generous in size, he would be the biggest you had ever taken. He was just… grown. You let out a satisfied little mmm, smirking up at him as your fist wrapped delicately around the base as you pumped over just the bottom half of him. 
Your hand came up to push some hair behind your ear but Joel was quick to handle that for you, stroking the stray pieces back behind your ear and then planting his palm right on the top side of your head. He tried to guide you closer but you just continued to smirk at him, a desperate grunt leaving the back of his throat. 
“Don’t play with me, kitten.” The nickname had you fawning, much better than the other nickname he had given you in the past. Maybe this new one would replace the old, the girl he dismissed before now a woman whose attention he craved. 
You guided his tip to gently tap at your flattened tongue, using his base to guide him until you generously wrapped your mouth around his leaking head. He let out a satisfied hiss which made you smirk, knowing you were the one making him dance on the line between pain and pleasure. 
You let out an involuntary mewl as the fist he had made in the back of your hair forced you further down his rigid member, feeling wet tears threatening to spill over your waterline as his tip nudged against the back of your throat. He said not to play with him and you disobeyed. 
Your palms flattened to the front of his thighs as you pushed yourself off of him, gasping for air as you swallowed the mixture of your spit and his leakage that clogged your throat. 
“So fuckin’ pretty chokin’ on me like that, such a pretty face.” He sneered, referring to your teary eyes. But the compliment made you blush and the choking and sobbing was all of a sudden worth it for the praise. 
After that, you craved to take all of him just like he wanted. Your head worked in subtle bobs, taking inch by inch of him at a time. Sometimes his hand in your hair guided you, allowing you to take him with confidence as he let out disgusting groans and low moans. 
Your gluck, gluck, glucks filled the shed, hot pants leaving your mouth around him but not willing to let your head up. Trails of your saliva attached themselves from his balls to your lips, the sight being a trophy for your hard earned deep throating. He was already so close, you couldn’t bear not to taste the prize you had worked so hard for. 
All of a sudden, Joel stood up from his seat at the drafting table and you couldn’t help but show a look of disappointment. You thought he was done, going to leave you like a mess on the floor with bruises on your knees from the cold concrete and your slobbery mouth feeling his loss. 
Your wet eyelashes fluttered as he returned to fist the hair at the top of your head and angled your face upward, watching as his other hand yanked on his member. The sight made your jaw drop. 
“Where do you want me to finish?” His words were pained, stretched thin as he tried to hold out for an answer from you. But you wanted him to finish, you wanted to watch his face contort from the wake of his orgasm that you helped create. 
“Mmm,” you hummed out as you purposefully prolonged his finish, watching as his chest puffed and his skin grew rosy from the heat flooding his body. Your cockiness was punished by a tighter grip in your hair, yanking your head closer to his shaft to force a real answer out of you. Your scalp stung but only a smile was on your face. 
“You wanna cum on my face, Mr. Miller?” You asked in the most innocent tone you could muster, your mouth parting at the sight of him. He looked heavenly. The glow from his shed lights made him appear as if he had an angelic glow. But you knew he was hellish, nothing close to an angel. 
Joel let out a scoffy little grunt at your question, a wicked smile gracing his lips as his hooded eyes slowly fell completely closed as the shock of his orgasm coursed through his body. 
You eagerly watched and you hated how hungry you knew you looked right now. You licked your lips, eager for his taste, eager to make the Joel Miller cum. You were desperate. 
His cock began twitching in his hand, watching as he methodically yanked out his own orgasm. His eyes lazily glanced between his shaft and to your large eyes, slowly smirking at the sight of you holding out for him. 
“Let me see that tongue, darlin’.” His words were breathy, just on the edge of no return. You obeyed, dropping your jaw and flashing him your tongue as you fluttered your eyelashes. At the sight alone, he finished himself off with eager grunts and short moans, you swore one of them was your name. 
His hot cum landed on your face, your eyes closing in satisfaction with a cocky smile. Most landed on your tongue, a few piping hot white strands splattered like paint on your cheeks and nose. All the air in your lungs left you as he tapped his pulsing tip eagerly against your tongue, watching with his jaw slack as he let the rest pool onto your tongue and down your throat. 
You swallowed knowing he was watching, his hand in your hair relaxing. He tasted better than you expected, a new craving. 
Instead of fisting your strands, he started stroking them away from your messy face, praising you as he tucked himself back into his pants.
Both no longer in the hot fantasy you swore you imagined once, you tried to collect yourselves. You shakily stood up from the ground, your knees cold from the concrete. You wipe off any dust or dirt they may have collected, sneaking glances at Joel as he fastened his belt around his waist once more and popping the button of his jeans back into place. 
You glanced around for a tissue, your back to him as you cleaned up your face. Oh my god, you were wiping Joel Miller’s cum off your fucking face.  As the two of you pieced yourselves back together, he reached for his discarded flannel that he had given you still resting on the metal chair you previously abandoned before settling between his legs. 
“Said you were cold. Take it.” He said as he fisted some of the material and looked at you expectantly. You sighed before gently taking the material and wrapping yourself in its warmth. 
As he placed a bandaid on your palm to cover your futile wound, you admired the flannel in all of its unknown beauty. 
It was one of his older ones, you sort of felt bad because you could only assume it was one of his favorites. It adorned a few minor holes and rips, some of which were badly stitched back together in an attempt to salvage it for another few years. Despite its appearance, you melted into it because it smelled like him. It smelled smoky like his cigarettes or maybe that was just the residual smoke from the bonfire. As you walked outside, you could smell it clearer.
Sandalwood with a hint of cinnamon, you wondered what cologne he used. 
Your head was lost in thought as you began to wander back towards the bonfire, a sharp clearing of his throat bringing you back to your senses. You whipped around, seeing as he pointed to the stray wood you had dropped from earlier.
“Oh-” you said bashfully as you returned to the pile with him, both of you knelt down picking up stray pieces. Once you started piling the wood in your arms again, he let out a short chuckle from deep inside him as he held your wrist from stacking more. 
“That’s enough for now, just go.” You liked seeing his face lit up like that, knowing you were the cause of it being even better. 
“Okay, Mr. Miller.” You cooed quietly, his face hardening at the name of adoration you had given him. 
“Okay, Skids. I’ll be seein’ you.” He said with a tight nod of his head, his eyes directing you back to the fire. You set down the firewood by the rocks surrounding it as a barrier, clearing your throat as you returned to the tailgate. You could still taste his cum on your tongue. 
No one seemed to notice your trip taking unexpectedly longer than necessary. Your parents were both swaying their heads and laughing, empty bottles by the legs of their folding lawn chairs to explain their obvious lack of awareness. 
Sarah had joined up with other friends in your absence, but you didn’t mind. 
You finally had a moment to reflect on what had just taken place in Joel’s shed. You let your vacation house neighbor cum in your mouth. Your older, stoic, stubborn ass of a neighbor. 
As if on cue, Joel returned to the side of his truck with his body leaning against the tailgate. His jean-clad hip lightly grazed your thigh, glancing over to see him offering you a beer. 
“Since you’re all grown up now.” He said with a little spark behind his eyes. You nodded and took the opened beer with a growing smile. 
“Cheers.” He offered as he held out his bottle to clink with yours. 
“Cheers to another summer in Danbury.” You tell him. 
He cocked his eyebrow and glanced over to you one more time before he focused his eyes on the growing fire. 
“This one ain’t quite like the rest.” It almost sounded like a promise from him. You hoped it was. Because you were wearing his flannel and you were on his knees for him tonight, you wondered what experience of Joel could offer you this summer. 
---
read part 2 - dark paradise!
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deus-ex-mona · 24 days
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goodxnight guys~~~
#completely forgot that there was another lxl interview back from when the [redacted] anime had just finished airing lmao#it’s from the same feature in which the [redacted] anime director outright said that thing about mona lol#(as in: ​the ‘mona’s a popular character with a fleshed out backstory but she’s just hiyori’s therapist friend in this loloops’ thing)#i was in such an upset disbelief about it at the time that i completely forgot about the lxl interview man… 2k22 sure was *a* year huh#maybe i’ll get to this interview on either wednesday or this weekend… i need to prepare my lxl tling mindset for the album interview lol#(im still unsure if the magazine will ship lmfao it’s been processing for a g e s [read: 3 days] since i bought it lmao)#(​either way i think itll only come in earliest by this weekend bc im still waiting for my nghy impulse purchase standees too)#(and even if it does come i wanna tl the kawaikute gomen vol 1 bonus manga first [if it actually arrives])#(women’s wrongs are always top priority yk~~~~?)#(though. haha… i think i’ll have the entire hw manga collection when my next batch of purchases come in… s o b s my storage space—)#(the dolce manga exist as just ebooks in my collection thoughhhh. the dolce manga is p much the perfect mix of crack and tragedy tbh)#(like. there are scenes with girisha and his *girisha-ness* b u t there are also scenes with fuuma and his heartbreaking backstory)#(re-reading my (frankly) bad tl of ‘happy’ (shiina chapter) doesn’t make me happy at all.)#(i should really get round to reworking it these days… like the fonts and such are *atrocious*)#b u t i digress anyway lxl old interview tl (maybe) coming soon this week depending on exhaustion levels sorry for clogging the dash gn guys
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queenofapeacefuldawn · 4 months
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SxF Crack Theory: The Identity Of [REDACTED]'s Father
Hear me out here.... but, maybe, Twilight's father could be Yuri's boss, aka, the SSS Lieutenant.
Now, this might be a crack/joke theory, but here is the evidence I have to back up my claim (yes, I'm presenting it because I'm just Like That):
(Warning: Manga spoilers ahead)
Exhibit A: Physical Characteristics
Here is a picture of Agent Twilight:
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Here is a picture of Yuri's boss (who, from now in, will be referred to as YB, for my own convenience):
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We can see that Twilight and YB have very similar facial characteristics: bluish-grey eyes, blond hair, and a similar face shape (nose, jaw).
We never see Twilight's father's full face: only the lower half, because he has presumably forgotten his face, along with his mother's (King of Emotional Repression™️), but we can see that his jawline and shape of his mouth are very similar to Adult Twilight.
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Oh, and look at that- rather pronounced cheekbones, if I do say so myself. Where else did I see those? Hmmm
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Exhibit B: Ambiguous Fate
During the War Arc, we're never told about [REDACTED]'s father's fate. We just know he never returns to his family: and the reason why he left for the very last time, was that, "Things have been heating up at the border. I need to take a little business trip." The fact that his, a (presumably) rather important man's, body was never recovered: nor were [REDACTED] or his mother informed of his death. Of course, his body could have been lost in the bombings, or the part of [REDACTED] finding out about his father's dead could have been omitted, but for most of the part, we're left to assume about his father's dead. And... this sounds familiar to another instance...
Like the instance of [REDACTED]'s friends. He (and we) assumed they'd died in the warehouse as children, but later we see that they're alive and in the army (only to die a second time, RIP), but this time, for their deaths to be confirmed: for [REDACTED] to only receive their dog tags after the failed campaign.
This may have been a setup: for Endo to reintroduce [REDACTED]'s father, later in the story, as YB.
Anyway, one thing I've learned after reading and watching so many books, comics, and TV shows: never assume a person's dead, not unless their body/proof of their death has been explicitly shown. This belief was only reinforced after [REDACTED]'s friends.
And, [REDACTED]'s father's last known place was around the Westalian-Ostanian border. He could have escaped in the crossfire, theoretically...
Exhibit C: Fatherly Nature (?)
We all love a good found-family dynamic in the workplace. It's there with WISE, it's there with Garden, and it's kinda there with the SSS.
My main argument about this stems from the chapter which focuses on Yuri's work.
We see YB continuously worry about Yuri's physical health, in panels like:
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Obviously, this doesn't happen only in this chapter. Whenever Yuri's there, YB is also there, yelling at him to a) go to sleep, or b) STOP GETTING HIT BY BUSSES OH MY FUCKING GOD IT CAN'T HAPPEN SO MANY TIMES TO ONE PERSON-
And, of course, there's the Yuri Sick Fic chapter:
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Not gonna lie, this point is extremely weak, if I brought this up in court I'd be laughed out of there-
Anyway, I just wanted to put this in.
If it does turn out that YB is [REDACTED]'s father then. Bestie. Buddy. How are you managing to be a better father-figure to some insolent kid who gets hit by busses than you were to your actual son, like 20 years ago. Maybe he learned along the way.
Exhibit D: Symbolism (???)
Oh, look, another point I'm pulling out of my ass! But whatever, you're reading it <3
During the War Arc, we see Twilight sustain two major injuries:
One, as a child, when his home is bombed:
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And two, as an adult, in the army:
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and these injuries are both to his left eye.
Of course, this has given rise to theories of him not being able to see his left eye, it being his blind spot, and Yor guarding his blind spot on missions, etc., etc., which I love bc ✨Twiyor✨
Getting back on point, if we look at YB, we see that he has injuries too... or rather, remnants of them, what with the scars he has...
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which, are also on his left eye. Huh! Interesting... this might just be me, but could this be parallels to how similar he and his father were? Are? His father also wanted peace between Ostania and Westalis: but he taught his child that in a very harsh manner (by slapping him), but Twilight wants to teach Anya that in a kind manner. Whenever we see him teaching her, he never loses his cool with her (of course, he loses a lot of hope, but this man's a pessimist, what can we do).
Also shows how much kinder Twilight is, compared to his father.
---
Of course, these points are very weak, and it might just be that Endo reused some character designs for efficiency, but let me be, ok!! This is a crack theory!!! Let me be a clown!!!! AKDFJSJF
If I'm being honest, this post was inspired by a convo I'd had with my friend, around the time Chapter 86 was released. She was theorizing that [REDACTED]'s dad is the Shopkeeper, and I was theorizing it was this dude. Of course, our theorizing was sidetracked by Chapter 86, and a certain panel within it, but... WHATEVER.
So, what are your thoughts? Obviously, my own theory is very weak (for example, why would the SSS accept a Westalian citizen into their ranks? Why would he even join the SSS? Could he have defected? Abandoned his wife and kid?), but this was fun to think about, lol. What are your theories? I think the Shopkeeper-is-the-dad theory and the YB-is-his-dad theory are both cool, so, what do you think?
(Also, yeah, I know, his dad could very well be dead. I just refuse to believe it, bc I'm just Like That <3)
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driaswrld · 6 months
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🪷 — THE SCANDAL OF THE CHILDHOOD CONSORT. . . UNRELEASED PUBLICATION 01 !
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LADY DRIA WRITES . . . ˚ ༘ *
🪷 dearest gentle reader, this author has stumbled upon a shockingly salacious tale in the dark corridors of the gojo palace... 2.3k words.
🪷 prince gojo x reader smut!! pure smut not tied into main plot, only an alternate of current storyline. fem reader, cunnilingus, creampie, yk the gist guys (also my first full smut piece 😵‍💫) for all the prince toru girlies who got their hearts SHATTERED </3
🪷 taglist : @yunymphs @prttyangelz @jaerang @rayahayumi @kurosaaki @ayanominitrash @lordbugs @xxemmarldxx @ltadoriyuujl @gods-landing @sabrinexx @aphroditisxc @sweeteaas @nikitopia @konekobby @loafgeto @/hanatoru
series mlist. prev. chapter
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CHAPTER TWO (B) . . .˚ ༘ *
GRAPE FLAVORED : LACE EDITION.
Satoru dips his head in a swift motion, his mouth planting a ghost of a kiss to the corner of your lips, and his dimples deepen when your head moves forward to chase his taste, something you’ve never had but crave with every inch of your being.
“Satoru.” You whisper, desperate. He hates himself for wanting this so bad.
He doesn't make you wait long as he presses his lips to yours, it's rough, hungry — he sighs into your mouth, shoulders drooping like he’s finally found what he's been searching for all his life on your tongue.
He’s kissed you before, on the cheek, side of your neck, corner of your mouth — tasted the salty tears of your youth, licked his lips and drank in the remnants of your flavored lipgloss.
He was too young then, too foolish, too afraid to want more.
Satoru’s tongue slips past your parted lips, teeth on wet pink muscle and a shiver runs down his spine when he tastes you, truly tastes you for the first time.
Grape flavored and starving.
A guttural groan leaves his throat when you reach a hand out to tug at the front of his pants to pull him closer. The crowned prince’s knees buckle, digging deeper into the floor beneath him.
Do you even know all the ways a woman can be seduced?
“There's so much I could teach you,” his arms hook under your knees the moment your tongue tangles with his, free hand shifting the skirts of your dress and searching like a man on a treasure hunt. “So much you could learn, pretty.”
“Teach me,” you plead, lips wet and chest already heaving.
Satoru murmurs a sound of disapproval against your neck, his tongue sucking the skin at the collar of your throat. “Not yet, have’ta give you a gift of my own first.”
( so he is jealous then ? )
Your thighs shiver when his cold hands snake under your dress, your arms looping around his neck to tug him closer to your body.
“Why do they put you in so many layers— s-shit.” His complaints falter when his palm cups the lace adorning your heat.
Satoru Gojo isn't a pious man, but this must be a gift from God.
“You're too fucking good.” Satoru groans, scooting back on his knees to hike up the layers of your dress.
He has to see the color of your panties. Has to see the lace design he knows is strewn across your pretty pussy— because you're a lace girl, never silk, Suguru doesn't know you, hasn't known you the way Satoru has.
It's vulgar.
“Satoru, waitwait—!” Falls on deaf ears, because he’s already hooking his thumbs under the waistband of your lacy panties, pulling the fabric to stretch, playing with it as your folds slick up, a wet patch forming.
He toys with the edges of the lace, pulls and pulls until he lets it snap back against your front, his breathing going ragged with each sharp inhale you take.
He likes playing with you like this.
“Look at that.” Satoru pulls your panties to the side, your cunt clenching around nothing. “Pretty girl ‘s crying for me. . .” He spreads your folds with his index and middle, his cock straining against his pants, begging for relief.
“Don't just look at it like that— you're odd!”
“Yeah?” he chuckles, rubbing his thumb over your pulsing clit, flicking the bud teasingly. “Don't break my heart, princess.”
There's an undertone to his words as he sinks two fingers into your weeping whole, pumping against spots you couldn't reach with your own.
Satoru bullies his fingers into you, searching endlessly for something he thinks he’ll never find.
tell me no one’s touched you like this, tell me it's only me, tell me it’s not him—
Your hips rise to rock against his fingers and he stifles a laugh, almost bitterly. He knows better, but you're as better as the best gets.
“Hold this f’me, yeah?” Before you can question it, the skirts of your dress are bunched into your lap as Satoru’s head dips between your thighs.
“Fuck—” your mouth goes agape as his tongue licks a fat stripe up your folds, his fingers scissoring and stretching you open in time with his licks, tongue flattening and curling and flattening and curling. “How do you even—”
how many girls have you kissed like this?
Satoru mumbles something against your clit that you don't hear, but it vibrates through your core as his tongue slips into your hole, eagerly fucking you and sucking up your juices.
Now this is a royal scandal.
“Tastes just as sweet as I knew it would,” he moans, grinding his hips against the foot of the sofa, using his other arm to push against your knee, spreading you wider for better access. “Would go to war for this pussy, baby.”
Your head spins.
You knew of Satoru's. . . appetites as a Prince.
But experiencing it firsthand? Every lap of his tongue at your entrance, every stretch of his fingers has you seeing stars.
“‘Toru—! mmph, too much,” Your hips buck against his mouth, your head falling back against the window.
The night air doesn't help cool your skin with how hot your entire body feels.
“Too much?” Satoru repeats, mockingly. His cheeks hollow as he curls his fingers, pressing against that spongy spot that has your hips quivering, lips suckling your bundle of nerves. “C’mon, you cryin?”
“M’ not— not crying. . .” You sob, thighs squeezing around his head. He slides his fingers out of you, using both hands to hike your legs over his shoulders. “So good, it's so good.”
You feel him grin against your cunt as he dives back in, his tongue and fingers tag teaming between abusing your clit in harsh circles and thrusting into your drooling hole.
He’s getting off to the praise, his hips pressed firm against the sofa as he whines against you, your ankles crossed between his shoulder blades, heels digging into his back. “Can't get enough of you.”
“Please, wan’ta cum—” Tears escape the corner of your eyes, your thighs trembling and walls convulsing around his fingers. “Gonna cum— mhm, stopstop—!”
Satoru groans against your cunt when your back arches and your hips drive against his face like a woman possessed, his nose brushing your clit just right as your high hits you hard.
“I’ll replace these.” Satoru rasps, pulling away from you with a soft squelch.
“Replace? What do you—” You can't see the expression on his face with how his head’s hidden under your dress, but your heart pounds in your chest when his fingers wrap around one of your ankles in a soft caress.
The realization hits you then, as the liquid cools and fabric sticks to the inside of your thigh.
He’s talking about your panties.
“Lace is so pretty on you,” he murmurs, fiddling with the buttons of his pants, careless to his haphazard movements as his cock springs free, curved at an angle and beading with precum at the tip. “You don't know what you do to me, I swear.”
Lace.
Like the glove you gifted him your favor with.
Your face floods with heat when he flips the rest of your dress up, your gaze never leaving his hardened cock, the way it looks so angry at you.
It comes to you then as he looks up at you, snowy hair matted, nose to chin glistening with your slick and eyes hung low.
Prince Satoru, your childhood bestfriend, just ate you out.
And he's about to fuck you.
Satoru grasps both your ankles, letting his grip trail down to your thighs as he rises to his feet.
“You're a lady. A Princess— fuck,” Your hand reaches down to wrap your fist around his hot length, and it jolts to your touch.
You deserve better, he wants to say. Better than having your legs spread open for him in a dark corridor.
“Forgive me.” Satoru pushes your thighs down to meet your chest, effectively folding your body in half for him.
i'm sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry — i love you, i’m jealous.
And you whine, your arousal dripping down your thighs, still not fully recovered from your first high. “I'm gonna fuck you like anything but a lady.” His hot length bucks forward through your fist to bump against your folds and you bite your lip at the sensation.
He’s painfully hard and spilling precum, slipping back and forth across your pussy lips.
“Let me in, princess, please, I need you.” You pump his length in a few languid strokes and he shudders as you guide his cock to prod at your entrance. “I’ll fucking die if I don't—”
With bated breath and barely any restraint, Satoru rocks his hips forward, his tip sinking between your puffy folds and popping in.
“Pretty girl.” He moans, pushing forward until he's buried to the hilt, his cock curving to prod against your insides, deep.
“Satoru—” You gasp, your walls clenching at the penetration and his brows dip as he leans over your body, kissing the side of your neck. “I know, baby. . . fuck, squeezing me so tight—”
“C-can't help it,” you whimper as he rolls his hips forward, slow at first, so you feel every inch of him filling you up, like you were hollow before this.
Satoru lets out a sharp whine, almost girlish when he picks up the pace, fucking himself into you with deep slams, one hand leaving your thigh to tug at the front of your dress, using it as grip to fuck you rougher.
It's desperate.
“Hear that?” He whispers against your skin, each pump of his hips has his balls slapping against your ass in loud wet smacks, your cunt squelching around his cock, all sensitive and gushing for him, just like he imagined.
“We're kissing down there, pretty.” He chuckles breathily.
You’d scold him but you chuckle between a moan, his hips jerking forward harshly at how your pussy squeezes him in just from that. “I-it’s so hot—”
“Sucking me in— so needy,” he grunts, slipping his other hand between you to roll your sensitive bud under his thumb. “So loud and filthy, knew you wanted this as much as I did, baby. Wanted me to fuck you like this for so long, hm?”
“Satoru!” Your back arches off the sofa as you bite back a sob, your hips rocking to meet each of his thrusts. “Wanted it— wanted you so bad.”
“Who’s making you feel so good, huh?” Satoru pants, pressing his weight down onto your body, caging you under him as his thrusts become borderline feral, the top of your dress beginning to rip from the strength of his grip. “Say it, shit, say it—”
tell me it's me and not him. tell me only i can make you feel this good.
“Y-you,” you choke out, your lungs burning as you try to catch your breath.
Satoru slows his thrusts to a grind, unsatisfied with your answer, fucking you shallow and drawing it out, his tip pressing against your sweet spots making you see white.
“Princess,” he grunts in warning, applying more pressure to your clit, your body writhing beneath him. “Don't tell me that pretty little head ‘s all fuzzy now.”
“‘Toru, please—” Your palms push at Satoru’s chest, nails digging into his shirt, the coil in your core wound tight and teetering at the edge, but he won't push it past the edge. Not yet. “It's you, my Prince— ‘s you, Satoru!”
Your Prince.
You barely get the last syllable out before he’s bullying his cock into you in harsh strokes, the sweet plap plap plap of his body against yours is drowned out by all the things he whispers in your ear, only me, nobody else, you’re mine, gonna fuck you full so you won't forget.
“Wanna cum, ‘toru,” you cry and he bites down on your shoulder, as he exchanges his grip on your thighs for your your hips, pulling you onto him as he fucks into you with reckless abandon, sweat collecting at his brow.
“Yeah? Gonna cum for me?” Satoru presses his mouth against yours in a disoriented kiss, moaning into your mouth as your walls convulse around him, his cock twitching and swelling inside you. “Cum all over my cock baby, make your Prince a mess.”
Your hips move on their own, your body flushing with pleasure and the coil inside your belly snapping, giving way to your second high.
Your legs wrap around Satoru’s waist, pulling him impossibly deeper into you while you climax, his own breathing going short.
“T-tight, fuck, gonna make me cum—” Satoru lets go of your hips and reaches for your hands, interlacing them with his above your head, his thrusts growing sloppy as he gets closer.
“Look at me, yeah, look at me when you make me cum. Look at what you do to me, pretty.”
Satoru pushes his body flush against yours as his cock twitches, his hips stuttering and nose pressed against yours, mouth open with a loud moan when he unloads, spilling himself inside you in thick spurts.
He hugs you close to his body with a few soft thrusts, fucking his cum deeper into you with broken whines, his body slumped atop yours as he rides out the rest of your highs, the air cooling and settling.
“Think I got carried away,” Satoru whispers, pressing gentle kisses across your face, and a chaste one to your lips as he catches his breath, cheeks flushed pink.
“You think?” You pant, biting back a laugh, to which he buries his face in your neck. “We need to go—”
“Don't feel like it,” he mumbles, nuzzling close to you, and your eyes flit to the window, taking in the stars.
You bring a hand up to card through his hair, and he sighs at the feeling.
“But, the ball—” You try to protest, but he cuts you off by squeezing you close to him, impossibly close. “And the grape juice—”
“I’ll replace the dress too.” Satoru whispers. “Nothing else matters— just a little longer.”
You feel him smile into your neck and you roll your eyes, laying your head back with an exasperated sigh of your own.
“Just a little longer, then.”
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classypauli · 4 months
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She’s the Man
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Pairing: Jenna Ortega x fem Reader A/N: I appreciate each one of you, thank you so much for support <3!! Warning: mentions of harassment, anxiety, SA, alcohol, spelling errors, grammar mistakes Word count: 3.7k
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Chapter 3
The dorm room was silent. No was was speaking. They were just sitting on the small couch, being in each embrace. Letting themselves know that they were there for each other. Especially for her. Jenna was sitting in the middle of the couch, knees pressed into her chest, arms around her legs. Staring into nothing. Gideon was beside her waiting for her to speak. Both Emma and Gideon knew that in times like this, they needed to be silent and let Jenna talk. She hardly talked about something she struggles with so they wanted to hear everything that comes out of her mouth.
„I like him.“ Jenna said looking into the space in front of her. Gideon sighed and pushed herself closer to her roommate, pulling her into her arms.
„I know... I can see the way you are around him.“
Jenna put her lips into a thin line and looked at her friend, tears in her eyes. „I don´t know what to do.“ Her soft voice was barely heard in the room. Emma was sitting in front of her on the ground, staring up at her friend.
„Maybe you should tell him the truth.“
Jenna couldn´t believe what situation she was in right now. She wasn´t the type of person who easily like like someone. She wasn´t paying special attention to people who only looked good. She hardly had any crushes, even when she was younger.
But you... you were so good, mature, respectful, amazing listener, always making Jenna special when she was with you, giving her your full attention, and caring about what she had to say. Saying your true opinions, always motivating her with your gentle words. And on top of that, there was your look. Jenna doesn´t care about someone´s appearance, never, but you even looked amazing. She almost couldn´t believe that someone like you exist.
So when she started noticing her liking towards you, she was sure that this would be serious. That this wouldn´t just be some silly crush.
Gideon nods gently. „Yes, that would be for best.“
„And he will understand, I mean, I don´t know him personally but I can feel that he will be okay with it.“ Even her friends could feel something different in you. There was something about you that was strange, but not bad strange. Just something they haven´t seen in their lives yet.
„B-But how can I do that when he recently tried to hook me up with his roommate?“ she turned her head to them, eyes almost desperate. She didn´t even want to say his name out loud, that´s how much aversion she had against him.
„You mean the one who keeps harassing you for almost two years? Of course, I can already see the scenario.“ Gideon continued, trying to give some courage to Jenna „He wanted to be closer to you so he asked Charlie for help cause he saw that you two get along.“ Emma noded at her words, also agreeing with her.
Yeah, even to Jenna, this sounded pretty accurate, you barely turned someone down. You were too sweet for that. Still, this doesn´t have to be true.
But for now, she is going to act like it is.
„So what should I do?“ she now looked at Emma. Her friend only smiled with a confident smile. She and Gideon shared eye contact and looked back at their desperate friend.
„We´ll tell you, what you are going to do.“
„This is so good!“ Georgie cried as he held chicken wing in the air. His mouth and fingers were dirty from BBQ sauce. Some of it was even on the collar of a his uniform but he didn´t mind, all he cared about was that he could eat.
Y/N looked up from her meal, cracking a small smile. It was cute how he could enjoy so much such a simple thing. He was pure and so obvious.
Mason aggressively nodded his head at him, eyes wide. At least he could eat properly and wasn´t as dirty as Georgie in front of him. „You are right! It´s been a long time since they had something so good in here!“ he yelled with his mouth full of food.
They were having lunch right now. Finally, because if the classes were any longer, Y/N didn´t know if she would survive. The whole day she was with her friends, they were whining about how much they are hungry. Y/N was a patient person, but this... this was another level.
A couple of workers and students were glaring their way, at their loud behavior. Y/N and Hunter shot them back apologizing smiles.
„Can´t you two just enjoy it a little louder? Everybody is looking at us!“ Hunter hissed at them. Mason and Georgie looked around and then started eating again, clearly nonchalant.
Y/N looked around one more time and was met with doe brown-eyes looking at her. Jenna was staring at her with a small smile decorating her face. The taller girl looked at her and gave a small smile back with her hand waving at her.
Mason looked at her, then the way she was facing and his friend again, smiling softly in a teasing way before continuing his eating.
Jenna was sitting with a couple of her friends, a finished meal in front of her. She was probably waiting for them to finish. Breaking eye contact and pulling out her phone. Suddenly Y/N´s phone made a sound signalizing new message.
Jenna xx: Hey, are you free today?
Y/N looked up from her phone again at the other girl. She was waiting for her answer with hopeful eyes, biting her lower lip.
You: Hi, yeah, something in mind?
Jenna xx: Been thinking about another movie, free dorm tn, you down? ;)
Y/N smiled softly at her phone, agreeing with the plans. She was excited. She and Jenna haven´t talked much since the party but there wasn´t any bad blood between them. They just didn´t have much time.
After the classes, Y/N felt exhausted. Today was too long for her and she just wanted to lay down and relax, but she wasn´t tired enough to cancel her plans with Jenna.
When she got into the dorm room Percy was there, he was sitting behind his desk doing some schoolwork. Both of them haven´t talked yet about what happened. The morning after the party, Percy couldn´t remember much, only a couple of things. But he definitely felt the energy you gave him. He didn´t know what happened but he was also a little scared to ask. He isn´t used to you acting like this.
Y/N also didn´t know what to do with this situation, either acting like nothing happened or confronting him about it. She surely didn´t want to act like nothing happened, she thought it would be unfair to Jenna. People should talk about things like this, even if “nothing happened“.
But still thinking about what would happen if she didn´t get there. That night she came with Mason and some other boys, she saw Gideon and went to say hi, the girl told her that her roommate was there and that she had just gone to get a drink in the kitchen. So Y/N went after her.
But the scene she found her in... She was angry at Percy, but she felt even more disappointed. It wouldn´t even cross her mind that he could behave like this. It was disgusting. Acting like someone on top. He took advantage of time when nobody was there and she couldn´t say no to him. Y/N felt sick to her stomach.
„Hi.“ He looked up from his work „Going somewhere?“ he asked her as she was packing some things in her bag.
„Yeah.“
There goes the short answer again. He feels like it’s the only thing he gets from his roommate these days.
„Cool.“ He wanted to ask with who but that´s not his business.
Jenna was running around her dorm, making sure everything was ready. Blankets, pillows, snacks, movie, hoping she didn´t forget something. The room was dark with only the light of the turn-on TV and candles by the windows. She wanted to make it cozy as much as possible.
„Just a second!“ Jenna yelled at the door. She heard the knock, signaling that you were already there, right on time. She ran to look at herself one last time in the mirror, fixing her bangs and one last check at the room.
She opened the door and was greeted by your cute face. You were standing there wearing grey baggy sweatpants with a matching hoodie and bag around one of your shoulders looking cuddly as ever. You made a thin line with your lips still looking at her.
„Hi.“ You said shortly, waiting for her to let you in. She opened the door wider for you to come and greeted you with her hug. There was your scent again. It was so addicting.
Soon you started watching the movie she picked. It was Friday the 13th and you both enjoyed it. You saw that already but it was classic, so you didn´t mind watching it again. The scenes are good, it is a solid film. During the movie, Jenna was thinking about what Emma and Gideon said and about their plan.
Yeah, that plan already started and you don´t even know it. 
After that, you were chatting. Y/N wanted to ask about Percy and what was going on between them, but she didn´t want to remind Jenna of that uncomfortable night. On the other hand, the girl felt like she should talk about it, she knew that Jenna didn´t like a feeling of vulnerability, but there was nothing wrong with it. At the end of the day, there are still people who are by her side ready to help her and listen to her. People like Y/N.
„I wanted to ask you...“ she looked into her eyes with a little seriousness, the shorter girl turned to her waiting for her question „Are you okay?“
And the girl didn´t even have to be specific about what was she talking about, Jenna knew.
„Yeah, I think I´m.“ she pulled out a small smile with her soft eyes. She was okay when she was with you, she felt safe. Every time she felt nervous walking around him or thinking about what happened, her mind went to you and how you acted. How you stood in front of her ready to defend her from anything bad. And then she feels safe.
She feels safe when you stand by her side, she feels safe when she is walking beside you, she feels safe when you hug her.
Doesn´t matter what you two are doing, when she is with you, she feels protected.
„It started almost two years ago... I saw him a couple of times before but we didn´t share many classes or never really spoke to one another.“ She was now looking into her lap, playing with her fingers. It was her habit when she was nervous or was thinking about her words and what she wanted to say.
„I knew he was into me, he used to stare at me sometimes whole class. It started to be a bit strange, but I let it be. Was trying to ignore it.“ Y/N was still looking at the girl beside her, giving her full attention.
„I got a couple of times drawings of my face... at first I found them at the spot where I used to sit during our together classes, then found some in my locker or mailbox at my home where I was during holidays. That was the weirdest. Like how did he find where I live?“ she sarcastically laughed, leaning her head on her hand, which was now on her knee.
„I didn´t want to make something big out of it, so I let it be. When I came to school again, he kept going, sometimes even following me into the dorms. I told Gideon and Emma about it and from then, they tried to be with me when they could.“
Y/N couldn´t imagine the stress this girl must have felt. It was absurd. And disrespectful. She slowly grabbed the other girl's small hand, shooting her comforting smile.
„One night, there was a party... there were almost all the students from the school. I was in a room full of people, slowly drinking from my cup... I wasn´t drunk just a bit tipsy.“ The shorter girl now held Y/N´s hand in both hands. „he saw me came to me and started to touch me... he tried to pull me up with him into the room upstairs but I wasn’t letting him... he didn´t like that of course and pushed me against the wall still with his hands on my body.“
Jenna had now tears in her eyes but didn´t let them fall. She breathed heavily still looking at their hands. „Can you believe that even the room full of people didn´t manage to stop him?“ she sniffed softly „Then he got pulled by someone, he smashed him into the face and threw him out of the house... it was your friend actually, the football player.“
Mason. He never disappoints.
You were now sitting there, feeling disgusted. You felt horrible that you even tried to help him with her. You have so much rage inside but right now Jenna was your priority. You pulled the girl into your arms, holding her. You were in awe that she´s been holding that inside of her for so long. She was so brave.
Both of you were sitting there, holding each other, her almost on top of you with her face in the crook of your neck. When she calmed down she pushed her face out and looked at her. Your faces were now close.
Y/N kept looking at Jenna´s face, her cute bangs, doe eyes, and small nose on which were her cute freckles. They looked like constellations and the taller girl knew that she would never be bored of them. On top of that her full lips.
Jenna saw Y/N looking at her lips, which made her smile. The tension grew and she was now waiting for her move. The brown-eyed girl looked at your lips and saw you smiling.
„What are you smiling about?“ Jenna asked still in your embrace.
„You smiled first! You gave it to me.“ Y/N said and now she grew nervous. Jenna´s hands were around her neck and the girl´s chest felt full, feeling like there was no air for her. Y/N liked this, feeling Jenna in her arms, close to her, smelling her perfume.
„Sorry, I need to use a bathroom.“ And just like that you gently pushed Jenna away from you standing up and making your way to the toilet room.
Jenna was sitting there with wide eyes, shocked. She was almost sure you were going to kiss her. But you stood up and went to the bathroom. Were you nervous or just didn´t feel the same way she does? She wanted to know the answer to these questions but only you could answer them.
You were hard to read. Maybe that was what caught her attention the most. She didn´t know what to expect from you. Like now. The girls told her that you liked her back because of the way you was acting around her and that you were probably just nervous, that´s why you didn´t make a move yet.
They were in some way right, you were nervous. You liked her, you know that, but it felt unfair to Jenna. She knows you, but she doesn’ t know you. She doesn’t know you as Y/N. As your trueself. And that´s why instead of kissing her you rushed away.
Y/N washed her face with water. She looked at herself in a mirror and saw her blushing face. Oh God, this was embarrassing. She felt hot and her heart was beating fast. She picked herself up and made her way to the room again. Jenna was now sitting cross-legged, controller in her hands looking for some new movie to watch. Y/N undressed her hoodie and threw herself onto the couch beside the other girl.
„So what are we watching next?“
Jenna woke up the next day on her couch, her eyes still closed as she was thinking about yesterday. She opened her eyes. Sun was shining through the windows of the room, birds could be heard even though the windows were closed. She looked up and found Gideon standing above her smirking, she motioned “I´m leaving“ with her mouth and then she put her fingers on her lips and did a zip-up motion silently walking away, still with her little smirk.
Jenna could hear soft breathing behind her, then she realized that you were spooning her. She gently turned around wanting to see your face. You looked so relaxed, with your arms around her waist. She was wearing your hoodie from yesterday. Last night you fell asleep first, looked exhausted from the day. After turning the TV off she picked up your hoodie and put it on herself, slowly laying down beside you, as close as she could.
When you woke up Jenna was in the bathroom. You slowly sat up and rubbed your eyes. You slept well actually, even if it was on the couch.
With that you stood up and started cleaning the room, making it look a little presentable. Not long after Jenna walked up to you, greeting you with a hug and questioning how was your sleep. You noticed she was wearing your hoodie and it looked so cute on her. She was so small, it was almost reaching her knees and the sleeves were too big for her, but she looked happy. Soon you left her dorm, leaving Jenna behind with your hoodie still on her.
„We could plan something.“
Mason says as they were running around the field. They are having practice. The coach was talking something about getting easely tired, so he made them run circles around the field. Y/N wasn´t really a fan of training like this, but she understands and respects his point.
„What do you mean?“ she asked him.
They were now around the 13th round, or at least she thinks, she didn´t want to count it. They were almost breathless, their legs felt like they were on fire, and it slowly became hard to move and control them. Her throat was burning and her lungs had each inhale smaller capacity.
It would be okay if the coach let them just run, but he was whistling at them to change their tempo, sprint or slow down. All you could hear were breathless players running around the field. Mason wanted to continue with the conversation but he was almost out of breath.
Another whistle was heard but this time coach was yelling at them to stop. With that Y/N fell on her knees, forehead pressed into the ground, breathing heavily trying to catch her breath. Mason was beside her on his back, arms and legs apart looking like a starfish. Everyone was on the ground, trying to survive after this challenge.
„I think I´m going to throw up.“ Mason´s voice was heard from beside her, now holding his stomach, whinning.
Y/N stood up, hands on her knees, slowly straithing up. She looked at Mason and slowly pulled him up.
„Come on, it will be only worse this way.“
They were slowly walking back to the coach. The girl looked at the tribune and saw Jenna. She was sitting there and she was enjoying the suffering your coach pulled you through. She had palms under her chin and when she saw you she waved. You waved back smiling.
„It´s cute how your girlfriend comes here every practice.“ Mason said looking at his friend´s reaction.
Y/N pushed her eyebrows together. „Jenna is not my girlfriend.“
„But you want to, so what´s stopping you? She clearly likes you too.“
You just shrugged your shoulders and looked at the ground, hands on your hips. Mason was still studying you, something was bothering you, that’s for sure, but he didn´t know what. He is guessing that maybe you are shy and don´t know how to start, so now he has a mission to get you and Jenna a date.
The thing he didn´t know is that your current situation would be this complicated.
„So as I was saying, how about we would make a night out, we would call Hunter and Georgie and you could call Jenna and she could call her friends. It would be fun.“
Y/N was thinking about it, it wasn´t the worst idea. They could hang out all together and that way they could get closer and know each other better.
„Yeah, that sounds good.“ She last time looked at Jenna before continuing with their practice.
Gideon couldn´t believe it. She was shocked at what Jenna told them about yesterday. She thought something happened between you two because of the way you were sleeping together. It was so cute, she had never seen Jenna in this situation, it was new to her and she was enjoying every bit of it.
But then she told her that you were face to face, looking at one another and you left her there to go to a bathroom. She almost collapsed.
„What?!“ Gideon stood up from her spot looking at her roommate with a shocked and unbelievable face. She can´t process that their perfect plan didn´t work out. Emma´s jaw was hanging, also didn´t expect this.
„Maybe he is gay.“ Jenna grabbed the pillow and threw it at Gideon. The plan was to make sweet and romantic vibe, where you would watch movie and then you would talk about your feelings and finally kiss. Simple and easy. And that happened but you still manage to slip out. Little snake.
You both were acting like kids with your first crush. Running around not making any move, she just wanted to pull her hair out of her head. You both are so frustrating.
At this point she doesn´t care. If you aren´t taking this into your hands, she´s going to take it into hers.
Because if this goes at this speed any longer, she will grow grey hair.
next chapter
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