#Rhys sister and Feyre are gonna have the best relationship

[feyreswaterybowels]

⟡ Princess of Dreams ⟡

# 1 Lucien x Rhys!Sister

⟡Part 1⟡Part 2⟡Part 3⟡

Word Count: 3k

Summary: Centuries ago Rhys’ youngest sister was kidnapped by the High Lord of Spring instead of kill like their mother and sister. The high lord had wards placed on his court so she was unable to leave. Rhys has believed her to be dead this whole time. What happens when Feyre finds out who she is and swears to take her home.

Warnings/Tag: Takes place during ACOWAR. Implied past sexual assault. Fluffy romance. Feyre being besties with Rhy’s sister. Pet names (pretty girl, sweet girl, Princess (her title)

Authors Note: All likes, comments and reblogs are welcome, appreciated and encouraged. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for part 2! Bold italics are mental communication regular italics are inner thoughts.

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I know who you are.

I don’t know what you’re talking about, Feyre—

You’re Rhys' sister. He told me all about you while I was there. I…I have a plan. I’ll take you back with me when I go. I’ll take you home.

The hushed conversation with Feyre played on repeat in my head for days. She had trusted me enough to tell me she wasn’t really here for Tamlin, that it was a plot, a plan and she was going back to the Night Court. Back to Velaris and she was taking me with her—she was taking me home.

Home.

There was only one problem. Just one. The male lying in my bed. I turn away from the window to gaze at him lying there naked, golden skin glowing in the moonlight. A crown of red splayed around his head. Grooves and planes of lean muscles on display. Arms folded behind his head.

Gods, he’s beautiful.

I had yet to tell him of Feyre’s plan. I believed he wouldn’t tell Tamlin but at the same time…I wasn’t sure how safe his mind was with two other daemanti in the house. I could only protect his mind when I was with him. Plus, Tamlin was his best friend. His High Lord. If he knew of Feyre’s plan to leave…and everything else she told me and Tamlin found out, we could both be locked away again. Not only that, but if he found out Lucien knew? That couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let harm come to either of them.

I took in a deep breath, walking over to the bed, tucking my wings as I slowly crawled up that perfect body. Dipping my head and trailing my lips over that patch of hair that went down, down, down, breathing in the scent of him. Mm.

“And what exactly are you doing?” That deep voice rumbled. I looked up, a sly grin across his face, metal eye glowing in the dark as he took in the sight of me between high thighs as I licked my bottom lip.

“Who? Me?” I asked, sliding a hand up his thigh to grasp him in my hand, stroking him once.

“Yes you, Princess” He laughs, grabbing and pulling me up the bed, kissing me as he rolls us over. I can feel him hard and heavy between my legs and it makes me moan.

“Lucien,” His name falls from my lips as he presses our bodies together. “Don’t tease, I want you.”

“Don’t tease?” He scoffs, “Says the one who was about to wake me up with a pretty little mouth.”

His grin is feral and I can’t help but return it.

“Come on,” I spread my legs wider, letting him feel the wetness there, “I know you want it.”

“And she calls me the tease,” He mocks under his breath before kissing me, tongue sliding into my mouth.

My fingers tangle in those long fire locks. I moan when I feel the heat radiating from his body, I love when he does that. The heat always feels so good against my sensitive skin.

He grins at me again, pushing up onto his knees, towering over me. He grabs my thighs, spreading them out and looking over me and I let him. I always loved the way he looks at me, his beautiful scarred face showing every ounce of emotion he feels.

He reaches between his thigh, wrapping a strong fist around himself and I watch stroke for stroke as he watches me. I tug on that bond between us, watching as it seemingly tugs him closer though I know it was his own doing.

“So, beautiful, all laid out for me,” He groans and I open myself further for him. Stretching my wings out across the bed, arms above my head, legs still spread wide but using a foot to rub over his calf.

That does it for him. He swoops down, grabbing me around the waist to yank my hips up, lining himself up and filling me. I cry out his name, arching into that fullness, into that glorious stretch.

We move together heat and passion. It’s rough and loving and he’s got me falling over the edge in minutes. Then again. And again. He’d always been so good at getting me there. Doing everything to make sure I was pleasured properly.

Tonight was no different as he leans over me, slow, firm thrusts hitting exactly where I needed it as he mouthed at my wing, tongue tracing through the grooves, and one hand wrapped around my wrists above my head to hold me in place.

“Say my name, pretty girl” he says, heated kisses on my wing.

“Lucien,”

“Louder,” he growls.

“Lucien!”

“I want the whole house to hear you, sweet girl.” His tongue laves over a particularly sensitive spot and I’m gone again. Gushing over him and moaning his name loud enough that the whole house definitely heard it.

It’s not long after that his thrusts are slowing. He lets go of my hands so I can touch him, he always liked having my touch when he came. I grinned into our kiss as my hands ran over his body. His panting moans turning into grunted growls. He was so sexy like this. Covering me fully, hair falling around his face, teeth bared.

I reached up pushing his hair behind those pointed ears, thumb tracing over part of his scar before pulling him into a kiss that was more tongue than anything.

“Fuck, just like that, baby,” I moaned into his mouth. “You’re gonna make me cum again. Make me feel so good!”

“Yeah? Gonna cum in that pussy for you, pretty girl, then I'm gonna eat it out.”

That’s what did it for me, I tightened around him. He follows me over the edge a few thrust later with a growl of my name.

Then he’s slipping from my body and sliding down, kissing a trail to my centre, keeping true to his promise.

“Fuck,” He groaned, coming back up, sliding his tongue into my mouth to let me taste myself. Kissing me slow and sloppy. “So perfect. My pretty, perfect mate.”

Despite what we’d just done I blush at his words.

“My sweet handsome mate,” I whisper back, tumbing at the bottom of his scar again before wrapping my arms around his neck.

He holds me tight, arms wrapping around me as we catch our breath. I tuck my face into the crook of his neck breathing in his scent—organic, earthy and sweet. Perfect.

My eyes welled up when thoughts of leaving weave through my brain. This was my mate, I had built a life here with him. But I had been trapped in this house for so long that it wasn’t really life. I wanted to go home to Velaris. To my brother and our family. I could try to convince Lucien to go but that could put him in danger. I had almost lost him under the mountain, I could t go through that again. If I left first I could always seek him out later but to stay here when I had the opportunity to finally go home, when I had Feyre telling me she could break the wards binding me here. I couldn’t turn that down.

“My love, what’s wrong?” Lucien asks, pulling back to look at me. Our eyes meet as he wipes away my tears. “Talk to me.”

I sniffled. I felt like it was now or never. I either told him now or he would find out when I leave. I couldn’t do that to him though. It would break his heart to wake up one day and find me gone.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong,” He said, petting my hair.

“I don’t know if I can say it out loud,” I tell him, our eyes meeting.

“That’s okay, Princess” Lucien nods his head, concern written all over his face.

“You can’t tell Tamlin,” The crease between his brow deepens. “You can’t tell him, Lucien, please. Promise me.”

He watches me for a moment, confused and concerned but he nods. “I promise. I won’t tell him.”

“Feyre and Rhys’ bond wasn’t actually broken that day with Hybern. She’s has a plan to go back. She…she said she can break the wards that hold me here so I can— I can finally go home,” I tell him, his eyes widen but he doesn’t look entirely shocked at what I’ve told him.

“And I’m assuming you have the intention of going with her?” He asks, sadness tinged the words and the bond.

“I have to, Lucien. I haven’t seen Rhys in centuries. Centuries. And he thought I was dead the entire time until recently. I need to go home, I need to see him and the rest of our family,” I cried, hot tears sliding down my face. He grabs me, pulling me up and holding me. Stroking my hair and shushing me softly.

“You should go, Princess. You should go home,” He says, kissing my head. I pull back to look at him, searching his face.

“Come with me,” I whisper, grabbing his face. “You can come. You would love Velaris—”

“I can’t,” he cuts me of gently, stroking his knuckles down my cheek. “Not that I don’t want to. Fuck, it hurts just thinking about you being away from me but if the three of us disappear? Tamlin will flip shit.”

“And he won’t be able to get to us in Velaris,” I tell him, grabbing the hand caressing my cheek and holding it tightly. “We would be safe there, Lucien. We could have a life together, a real one. Our own place by the river I showed you. A proper mating ceremony. We’ve been talking about kids for a decade. We could happily and safely have them there.”

“I don’t know…” Lucien shakes his head and I can see the water lining his eye.

“Me and you, Lu. That’s what we always said. Me and you—”

“Always.” Lucien nodded, looking over my face. Taking in every detail like he was trying to remember what I looked like before I was even gone. “What if you go with Feyre and I come later? You have to go now, you’re right you can’t pass up this opportunity to go home. I understand that. But you can come back for me, right? I could help keep Tamlin away…for some time anyway.”

My tears break loose then as I sob against his neck.

“I know it’s the best option but I don’t want to leave you,” I cried, clinging to him as he pulled me into his lap, letting my wings cocoon around us.

“Sh, it’s gonna be okay, my love.” I feel his tears on my neck and my heart breaks.

It was right but it felt so wrong.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

“So you’re joining us after all?” comes Tamlins snarky comment as soon as I walk out of the manor. I roll my eyes, fluffing the ugly powder blue dress.

“Unfortunately,” I rolled my eyes at him, it was too early for his shit, but still smiled at Lucien when his arm wrapped around my waist, careful of my wings.

“You can stay here,” Tamlin retorted with an eye roll of his own. “That would be preferable.”

“Well my mate asked me to attend. As did my friend, even if you wish Feyre wasn’t my friend,” I sneered at him with a wicked grin.

“I would never say that,” Tamlin returned the sneer, baring his teeth at me.

“Play nice, Princess,” Lucien purrs through the bond.

“Not out loud anyway,” I gave a sweet smile. “You look beautiful,” I said, hugging Feyre and kissing her cheek before pulling Lucien away to our horses.

Lucien helped me onto my horse, a gorgeous black mare, her coat shining even in the darkness of morning—a gift from Lucien after I accepted the mating bond. I looked down at him with a smile, running my hand through his hair.

“You’re lucky I love you, I really don’t want to deal with Ianthe’s shit today,” I said, situating myself in the saddle.

“Ianthe’s shit is exactly why I asked you to come,” Lucien said, grabbing my hand and kissing the back of it. “I appreciate you coming anyway, your presence will make it much more tolerable for me.”

“Yeah, I know, come on, let's get this over with,” I said, urging him to his own horse. “I’m ready to get today over with so I can get drunk and dance with you under the stars.”

Ugh, he looks so good. I thought as his head dropped back with a laugh before mounting his horse, dressed in autumn colors he stood out perfectly from everyone else wearing the hideously bright spring court colors. I’d be covered head to toe in Night Court black if it was allowed. I’d have loved to see the look on Ianthe’s face if I had shown up today in all black.

We set off soon after everyone had mounted their horses and there were already hundreds of fae crowded atop the hill when we arrived. I fought the urge to bare my teeth when I saw Ianthe’s gaze lingering on my mate as he dismounted his horse and strided to mine.

“Ignore it. She’s not worth your jealousy,” Lucien said as he reached for my hand, helping me from the saddle.

“I’m not jealous. I’m protective. I don’t like the way she looks at you,” I say, running my hands over the collar of his jacket. “Like she’ll drag you away to have her way with you whether you like it or not.”

“That’ll never happen, my love.”

“Damn right it won’t, I’d break her hands if she ever touches you,” I huff, as a feline smile crosses his lips.

“You’re sexy when you’re possessive,” He said, leaning down to kiss me, first my lips then my forehead before extending his arm to me to hold onto.

“You better make this up to me later,” I grumble, as I would much rather be back at the estate hiding in my room.

“Oh, I will make it up to you, sweet girl,” Lucien promised, leaning down to whisper in my ear, “slowly, with my tongue. Over and over.”

My body flushed knowing exactly how good he is with that wicked tongue. His gaze turns heated knowing exactly what I was thinking, feeling exactly what I was feeling.

“Lucien,” Tamlin calls from where he and Feyre are standing. I glance at those full lips one last time before he’s gently pulling me, guiding me away from our partially secluded spot. .

Jurian is at my other side suddenly walking with us as we trail behind Tamlin and Feyre—also linked by the arms and the Hybern Royals. I had seen the gleam in Feyre’s eye before she turned away, like a wolf getting ready to play with its prey. It made me giddy inside.

I couldn’t wait to witness her revenge.

We stopped walking when Tamlin and Feyre did, reaching Ianthe at her stupid altar as she offered them a singular nod of head. The Hybern twins shifted impatiently, Brannagh had made comments the night before how they didn’t bother with such things in Hybern—practically implying that soon we wouldn’t be bothering with it either. Smug little bitch.

“A blessed solstice to us all,” Ianthe called out to everyone around and I don’t roll my eyes the way I want to.

I stood there through an endless string of prayers and rituals, acolytes pouring sacred wine and the blessing of harvest goods. A lovely, rehearsed little number. Lucien was practically falling asleep between Feyre and I.

Ianthe lifted her wine and intoned “As the light is strongest today, let it drive out unwanted darkness. Let it banish the black stain of evil.” I sneered at her, I knew those words were directed at me. My brother. Feyre. Our home.

“She’s lucky my wine doesn’t end up in her pretty face,” I silently told Feyre, watching her expertly hide her grin with the wine chalice—her silent agreement.

“Would Princess Brannagh and Prince Dagdan do us the honor of imbibing this blessed wine?”

I shared a look with Feyre as the twins frowned at one another—the crowd murmuring behind us. But Feyre stepped aside, smiling a pretty smile and gesturing to the alter for the royals.

“Drink and let our new allies become friends,” Ianthe declared before they could refuse. “Drink and wash away the endless night of the year.”

The two daemanti surveyed their cups, most likely searching for any hint of poison. Feyre kept that smile on her face, I couldn’t extend that same faux courtesy when the prince looked my way. I didn’t care enough to put on the facade.

They each barely sipped the wine before trying to step away from the altar. Ianthe cooed at them like children, insisting they stay at the altar with her, to experience the ceremony at her side.

“I’m bored, Luc,” I grumbled to Lucien through the bond as Ianthe continued on with her praises and rituals. Eyes finding Lucien every now and then, looking away when I send her a death glare—lucky she doesn’t know who I really am.

“I’ll be over soon,” Lucien chuckles, pulling me into his side with an arm around my waist.

Finally, Tamlin was summoned over to light the candle for the souls lost this past year. This part bored me too. Those souls were gone; they didn’t need a candle lit to bring them back to the light. But just as I was starting to lose my patients the sky was finally filling with streaks of pink as Jurian was called forward to recite a prayer as well.

It left only Lucien and I standing with Feyre in the circle of grass, the altar and horizon in front of us and the crowd behind us. The look on Lucien’s face drew my attention as he scanned the area and I could help the crack of a smile when I noticed something out of place. A miniscule little detail no one else seemed to notice—except maybe now my mate.

I watched as Ianthe stepped toward the hill’s edge, her golden hair tumbling freely down her back as she lifted her arms to the sky. The chosen spot was intentional. Only that marker that told her where to stand wasn’t in the spot it had been in when we first arrived.

Golden rays of sunlight finally broke over the horizon. Light filled the world clear and strong. The murmurs started through the crowd. Cries of a name, not Ianthe’s but Feyre’s.

That gorgeous light had not filled and surrounded Ianthe but Feyre.

Ianthe seemed to be the last to notice, to see the sun was not blessing her but Feyre.

She glowed so brightly, brighter than what seemed natural for this occasion but I didn’t care to question why. She was beautiful—shining as if she were the star that hung above Ramiel.

“Curse breaker,” some murmured.

“Blessed,” others whispered.

Feyre's face was one of surprise and acceptance, though I knew it wasn’t genuine, those around us wouldn’t read it that way. They would only see what she allowed them too. The shock and bafflement of Tamlin and the Hybern twin’s faces was ever satisfying.

But Feyre didn’t look at them. She turned to Lucien and I, her light radiating so bright it was almost hard to keep that eye contact. A friend looking to another for help. She reached a hand to Lucien then to me.

I knew Ianthe had to be losing her shit behind us but I was too enchanted by my brother's mate. Yes, this was all a show, but Feyre was special.

I took her hand, watching Lucien do the same. Then we shared a look, lowering down to one knee, pressing her knuckles to our brow. I knew the crowd behind us had followed suit.

I had never kneeled for a high lord of the Spring Court. I was Princess of the Night Court. Heir of Velaris. Princess of Dreams. I knelt for no one—certainly not for anyone of the Spring Court. Not now, not ever.

I was not kneeling before Lady Feyre. Or Feyre Cursebreaker. I was kneeling for Feyre High Lady of the Night Court. Feyre that led Prythian from tyranny and darkness. Feyre that saved my mate and thousands of others under the mountain.

“My high lady,” I declared to her. The only person besides my brother I’d ever sworn fealty to.

I looked up at Feyre, our eyes meeting before she looked to Ianthe, smiling a sweet smile, one that transformed to show a bit of that wolf hiding beneath.

#Lucien vanserra the man you are🥵 #calling Lucien beautiful a lot bc…well because he is #no elcuien #nothing against the pairing #in fact I can ship anyone with just about anyone lol #but I don’t feel like writing around the pairing and prefer LuLu baby to be mated to Rhys’ sister 😊 #Lucien is just so 🤤 #Rhys sister and Feyre are gonna have the best relationship #acotar #acotar fanfiction #lucien vanssera x reader #lucien vanserra #lucien acotar #pro lucien vanserra #princess of dreams

[writingsbychlo]

your brain is incredible omg!

my word for you is:

communication

"The key to an effective relationship..." Feyre smiled, flipping her hand over and holding it out to her mate, balancing her newborn in her other one. Rhysand slipped his hand into her own, grinning proudly and lifting their joined hands up to kiss the back of her palm.

"Is good communication." He finished for her, the table around you all falling silent. For a second, a pin could have been heard dropping, and you desperately tried to contain your snicker, feeling Azriel's amusement rippling down the bond into your chest and only making it worse.

Luckily, it wasn't you who broke the silence, but Nesta. She made a gagging sound, while Cassian let out a loud 'boo', and both the High Lord and Lady's smiles turned to scowls as laughter burst out around the dinner table.

"The key to an effective relationship is communication!" Cassian mocked, and even Amren chuckled, as Nesta only shook her head. The two had been reprimanded for over ten minutes by the youngest Archeron for yet another argument at the dinner table, one they'd tried to drag everyone else into, and clearly, none of that scolding had sunken in.

"Not all of us can literally read each other's minds." Nesta sniped in return, smirking into her wine glass as her sister huffed, and Rhys glared at her.

"You asked for advice, Nesta."

"I did not! I asked who the Hell wanted to bother with a mate when they're so fucking annoying!" She elbowed Cassian, who only sat smugly in his seat, blowing a kiss at her.

"Language!" Rhys burst, covering his son's ears, a bout of power rustling through the room and trembling the wine glasses, and you couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh, c'mon, Rhys! I don't think the word 'fuck' is gonna' affect him, he's three months old. He can't even hold his own head up yet, he's not about to start cursing like a sailor."

"Oh, and I suppose you have some better advice to offer? I don't see you helping!" He was all but pouting now, and Azriel shrugged, the arm stretched out along the back of your chair lifted, hands playing with the ends of your hair softly.

"As the longest-mated couple here, perhaps our advice would be best, my love." Azriel sounded so sincere, so genuine, and a quiet hush fell around the table at his confidence. What they weren't privy to, however, was the mischievous tug you felt in your chest as he turned to smile lovingly at you.

"Alright. Well, I could tell you some more things like... the key to a good relationship is love, and patience."

"And unending loyalty. Give and take, compromise to make your lover happy." Azriel added, and you preened a little for effect, running your thumb over his cheek, as he offered a doting smile your way, though.

"The most important, though..."

"And, really, this is crucial..." Azriel emphasised, letting his brows pull together seriously, and everyone seemed to practically lean in. Even Amren was paying attention now.

You let the tension sit for a moment, let them stew in it, eyes moving across every single person at the table as they all waited eagerly, until you were sure someone was about to snap.

"Is being able to give really good head." Azriel finally finished, and Rhysand choked on the wine he was sipping, Feyre gasped and covered her child's ears again, and Cassian all but fell out of his chair with laughter.

"That, and a massive dick."

At that, Azriel beamed, the sound of your high-five echoing around the dining room, almost lost to the sounds of raucous laughter.

"Dammit, so Cassian has neither of the traits I need." Nesta sighed, and Cassian's indignant spluttering began. As more playful bickering broke out, you leaned a little further into your mate's side, feeling him nuzzle at your temple, leaving a kiss in his wake.

"How about I show you some of that really good head later?" He muttered into your hair, and you sent a pang of heat back to him in answer, feeling his responding breathless chuckle.

"I can't wait."

#q.

[starsreminisce]

I didn’t intend for this to be so long I apologize in advance😭

Have you or anyone mentioned this before?

What if when Elain and Lucien had their ambiguous meetup in WAR,.. what if Elain wanted to give Lucien a peck or a hug and be in the comfort of her stranger(!) mate and was drawn to him in a way she couldn’t fathom which is why she now keeps clear of him. It’s not hate, it could be confusion. People really exaggerate her being freaked out of the feeling of the bond. It is because SHE IS AWARE of it. We know this, Elain knows this, Lucien knows this, her sisters know this… there’s no need for readers to be all shocked pikachu face about Elain currently not wanting to be around Lucien. Nesta and Feyre or mostly anyone (especially someone like Elain who misses their old life) would’ve reacted similarly. If you’re only seeing the couple/pair and not the individual, isn’t it then harder to figure out what motivates that individual? Elain’s decision-making won’t have to do with someone else, that’s her own thing. What happens after a couple is formed is another thing (i.e. Feyre in TAR and MAF vs Feyre in WAR and SF where she makes plenty of decisions as a unit with Rhys aka when a couple gives into one another fully)

Yk, I can imagine it’s much scarier when you feel a pull to someone while knowing that somehow you both are connected biologically.. and they happen to be someone you just met. Feyre and Nesta were scared too when they found out they had mates! Heck they were a little intimidated when they first met the guys who were going to be their mates (duh they were among scary fae)

I think people tend to forget that Feyre and Nesta also took their time at different points of their own journey and in their relationships to figure out what kind of future they wanted. And they did this while away from their mates (i.e. Feyre accepted the bond before she gave Rhys her heart and body, so a more traditional romance approach, while she was alone at the cabin. And Nesta wanted to keep it strictly physical w/o the bond. Meaning keeping her heart/feelings out of it bc of her low self-worth. The aftermath of her fight w/ Cassian was spent with Emerie and Gwyn).

It’s actually perfect that Lucien is constantly away from Elain right now because otherwise it would all be much harder for her to process the situation she’s in. This exact courtesy given to Feyre and to Nesta by the author (all of this isn’t my thought I know this point has been made a lot!). Again, if we only think in terms of romance and not the individual then it’s going to be harder to understand why a character is making a certain choice

Idk how readers are interpreting these male characters but do they really think these males are they type to be like “we are now bound together, accept the bond or else; you must obey and come with me” I mean, SJM even found a way for Rhys to whisk away Feyre with her consent!

I think SJM likes showing different ways mates end up together and she’ll “select” a couple to demonstrate that. For example, Feysand= mates which one person isn’t aware of the bond because they grew up human, and it snapped for the fae without them revealing it to their mate and etc, etc. Elain and Lucien just happen to be the fated mates who had their bond snapped before they knew who the other was! Honestly SJM could’ve had any of her other couples go through with this. But also maybe there’s a specific reason- which she knows- for why she choose it for Elucien. Maybe it fits their characters best?

Authors are just puppet masters pulling at strings and coming up with possibilities y’all! There’s no need to act like these characters were done dirty because it was designed that way, pls for the love of the Mother. All that means is you have a problem with the story or writing and that’s not gonna change. So maybe it’s best for some people to look for other content?

Anyway- Elain is right now in the series taking the time to figure out what she wants (like her sisters did when they learned of their bonds!!) Maybe SJM could’ve elaborated with Feyre and Nesta and how they considered their options for the future? Lets be fr there’s a few details that SJM leaves out which tends to be important for the readers but not to her (maybe). But anyways the difference with Elain? She’s taking her time to decide and figure out the bond situation outside of her own book. As soon as Elain’s book is out why would she need to be away from Lucien any longer? Feyre had reason to be away from Rhys in MAF.- tamlin, her human life, etc. Nesta wanted to stay away from Cass at the beginning of SF because what even is a mate plus her self-worth issues. Do we wanna see this again with an Archeron in a whole book or rather it happening in the sidelines this time around? I mean with an Elain (Elucien) book they then have to be near each other at some point. NOW their story is beginning. I just expect it to have a happy ending:) <— Elain staying away from Lucien now but not later isn’t an original thought, I know this point has been made by many blogs!! Sooo I think this is what SJM is doing. Keeping them at a distance in the meantime. Because they won’t need it at some point.

It’s going to be different in Elain’s book because who wants a repeat of how Feyre and Nesta dealt with their bonds and their mates! We want some difference in the romance with each couple and how they handle big revelations! Authors love stepping out of their norm and showing variety, surely SJM will do that!

P.S this msg had a lot going on so if there’s anything you’d like clarification for pls feel free to say so :)

It's all good!

If there is one thing that SJM appears to have an issue with regarding fated pairs, it's the idea of instant love that often comes with fated mate tropes. She weaves into her narrative a desire to demonstrate why these pairs are perfect for each other and what her idea of a perfect match looks like.

As Elriel shippers and other non-shippers begin to realize, the bond itself serves as the primary conflict in Elain and Lucien’s story. It's something they both will tackle and eventually come to accept because this bond is now an intrinsic part of them. That's what I personally anticipate and look forward to in their story.

Upon rereading ACOMAF, I found my perspective shifted. Despite Feyre and Rhysand's bond snapping after Under the Mountain, Feyre still entertained thoughts of her upcoming wedding and pondered her future alongside Tamlin, all while feeling guilty and inexplicably drawn to Rhys. It wasn't until spending more time with Rhysand that Feyre began to recognize their shared desire to protect loved ones. This shift in perspective was crucial for Feyre, who grappled with her past actions, including the deaths of innocent faeries, and came to the realization that Rhysand had supported her far more than Tamlin had during her trials.

Rhysand's actions spoke volumes about his commitment to Feyre, even when she was unaware of his feelings. Conversely, it's somewhat frustrating when critics question why Lucien didn't do more for Feyre, especially when ACOMAF emphasizes the unique and profound nature of the mating bond. Lucien's efforts to support Feyre are acknowledged, but it's clear that Rhysand played a significant role in keeping her grounded. Similarly, Lucien's understanding of Elain's needs and his efforts to help her, such as demanding she be exposed to sunlight in ACOWAR, further illustrate the difference of their connection.

While there are limitations to the bond, it's unfair to hold Lucien to the same standard as Rhysand. Lucien and Feyre share a close bond, but they are not mates. Their relationship is distinct from Feyre's bond with Rhysand, which offers a unique level of support and understanding.

Similarly, Lucien demonstrated his understanding of Elain's needs in ACOWAR by demanding she be brought outside to the sun, just as Rhysand knew the music and images of the Night Court would help Feyre.

The passage of time is felt more keenly in Elucien's story compared to Feysand's and Nessian's. Feyre met Rhysand in Calanmai, saw him only once after a month, and then spent much of her time with Rhys Under the Mountain in a drugged state before returning home. It was only after two months that Rhys called in the bargain after Feyre reached out for help.

Nessian isn't exempt from this, either. There were four months between the war and Nesta and Cassian's confrontation, followed by another nine months before Cassian was sent to Nesta's apartment under orders for an intervention.

The difference lies in our experience of Elucien's time apart from each other. They are still included in other's stories, whereas we receive only a brief mention of the time lapse before the start of Feysand's and Nessian's story.

I often wonder if Nesta's and Elain's story drew inspiration from ACOMAF as some sort of "what if" scenario. For instance, what if Rhysand had decided to rescue Feyre himself, considering he kept hearing her vomiting, and that's what ACOSF explores? Or what if Rhysand hadn't winnowed away after their bond snapped after Under the Mountain, but instead blurted out to Feyre, rather than Mor, that she was his mate? Then Feyre went back to the Spring Court knowing she was Rhysand's mate. That is the essence of Elucien's story.

SJM does love to show the variations of the bond snapping. For instance, Kallias and Vivianne's bond snapped after they were married, Miryam was a slave present to Drakon, and Drakon set her free. Miryam had a relationship with Jurian, and while Jurian was seducing Clythia, that's when Miryam's and Drakon's bond snapped. We don't know when Tamlin's parents' bond snapped, but we do know that Rhysand's parents' bond snapped the first time they met, and Rhysand's father did not give his mother the freedom to decide what to do, even after he had saved her.

Elain is the only one among the sisters who knew about the bond firsthand. She knows that whatever she is feeling towards Lucien is a result of that bond. It's interesting to note that both Elain and Lucien, who spent most of their lives suppressing their needs and settling in their environments, have similar experiences. Lucien was severely punished for making waves, whereas Elain grew up with two sisters with big personalities who had no issues rocking the boat. Consequently, Elain does what she can to avoid being a problem. This is where the conflict of the bond comes in - Elain was engaged to someone she loved despite the short amount of time to be told “well, actually, your soulmate is this person. That person who told you that they love you actually hates you because of what you are now.”

This is also the first scenario where Elain actually gets to tell someone what to do. She isn't trying to argue against or support someone. For the first time, Lucien is giving her autonomy for the decision and the space to make it.

I personally believe that SJM was so confident in her match between Elain and Lucien that she mated them almost instantly, pulling back any further conversation beyond their initial discussion. In ACOSF, Cassian and Nesta primarily think of them as a package deal because whenever Elain does something, there's usually a comment about where Lucien is or isn't. It's also extremely telling that their only interaction in the book is with Lucien still looking at her with longing, while Elain acts the opposite towards the only person she cannot hide her real emotions from.

If Elain wouldn't reject the bond in someone else's book, including the novella that includes multiple people, then we should also be asking why Elain would act a certain way towards Lucien, except for the one thing that will absolutely cement that we know she doesn't like him.

It's been two years since it was revealed that Elain and Lucien are mates. The reason why she resisted this long deserves more than a hundred pages (roughly part one) of her book.

#elucien #pro elucien #elain x lucien #asks #pro feysand #feysand #nessian #pro nessian #acotar mating bonds #mating bonds

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Greetings everyone! It is 4am and you know what that means. Thats right, its time to read ACOMAF :) chapters 41 this time. enjoy

Chapter 41

What we're just smashcutting straight to Velaris?? we're not gonna see Feyre talk about all the shit the mortal queens just said with her sisters??

ugh dont remind me of the fact that amren drinks blood but only animal blood because human blood is too watery or whatever. she couldve been my vampire girlie in this a/b/o world but instead shes just a lame disappointment in a lame disappointment world. that also doubles as an a/b/o world, lest we forget that

ughhhhh dont remind me of the fae not being affected by iron

Okay, i have to admit this line kinda slaps: "Maybe then Elain would get an engagement ring that wasn't forged out of hatred and fear."

Yeah Feyre, I hate to say it but you failed HARD as an ambassador, you are so bad at politics, but technically this was all Rhysands idea so I'd say it was his responsibility to make sure youre not bad at politics, so Im blaming him for all this

I made a joke in my last post about how the night court is really US governmentcore and now Cassian is like "we could just kill the current queens and put queens in place thatll cooperate with us" and the only reason Rhys doesnt wanna do it is because it would take too long and because they dont know what effect this will have on the book, not because, i dont know, he'd be interfering with foreign affairs and robbing all of humanity of their agency. I mean, its a monarchy so i guess humanity didnt have too much of a choice when they ascended to the throne, but atleast those queens have their best interests at heart and dont cooperate with former slave-owners

Why does Feyre care so muh about Mor potentially hurting Azriels feelings, is he not acting like Tamlin at the start of ACOMAF where he was all like "no Feyre, you cant go to the sper dangerous place, its dangerous"

Okay so, the oldest queen is the queen of The Black Land, which is a very vaguely africa-coded place, where humans were born slaves to the fae, unlike everyone else where I guess humans had to get captured by the fae to be enslaved OBVIOUSLY she doesnt wanna cooperate with fae, shes even more justified in her decision in my eyes

But then Im thinking, why can she even decide what happens with that little piece of land, Im guessing thats not part of the black land so would that not fall under the jurisdiction of one of the other queens? Honestly, they shouldve just spoken to each queen alone, I get that theyre strapped for time but im sure they couldve forged atleast one alliance without the oldest queen speaking for all of them there. Also, from a doylist perspective, it wouldve been good padding since sjm insists on making her books stupidly long and it wouldve probably given us a more functional government structure because right now it just seems like these queens who allegedly each have a kingdom to run are just hanging out in the same palace all making collectively decisions for the entire continent, which is stupid

What is it with Sarah J Maas and portraying freedom fighters being very dedicated to their cause as a bad thing, sepcifically because its not very condusive to a romantic relationship? Like, in Crescent City Hunt was a rebel and he was in love with the leader of the rebellion before she was killed and he enslaved and its very tragic and he cant love anyone but her, but then he manages to move on and fall in love with Bryce and it turns out to be a better experience for him. Specifically, theres this one scene where he buys her this jade egg or maybe she buys him one i dont remember, and he reflects on how if he had given that kind of gift to his former lover she wouldve appreciated it for one second and then just let it rot on some shelf because she just had other things on her mind, and I thought that was an interesting perspective for their relationship, but now that we're getting a similar thing with Jurian and Miriam except Jurian isnt the love interest of the MC so hes more likely to get demonized it seems kinda weird innit

Oh boy we're gonna get the UTM reeanactment soon arent we. sighhhhhh

Btw what the hell is up with Mors truth powers. Apparently a lot of people in her bloodline have them?? What makes Mor so special then, i thought the reason she was special was because her power was unique. I guess its just uniquely strong then (FOR A WOMAN) but thats just lame and also weird imo

Oh the Hewn City is called 'Höhlenstadt' ['Cave City'] in german and I think that sounds pretty bad ngl. rare Alexandra Ernst L

Feyre keeps going about how Rhys is gonna risk everything for the sake of stopping the war and its like, girlie if you keep jacking him so hard youre gonna rip his dick off, but also, hes not gonna tell anyone where Velaris is right?? Like, it'll still be hidden and safe behind that force field, people are just gonna know of its existence now. And even if Veritas shows the queens Velaris by starting off with a birdseye view of Prythian and then zooming in, that wouldnt be enough for the mortal queens to figure out Prythians geography to the point where they could actually tell where it is, not the mention that Velaris is positioned in a way that makes any attacks, but especially attacks from the mortal land, extremely difficult

Feyre talking about the repressed desire she felt when she say Rhys all naked and vulnerable when he woke up from that nightmare is very inappropriate when you consider that he was dreaming about his rapist, but is also surprisingly relatable because I too like my men best when theyre submissive and crying. its a crime rhysand never ended up getting pegged tbh

Rhysand talking about how he cant bear the thought of Feyre mentally returning to UTM when she just barely managed to leave it behind is funny cuz its like, whos idea is it gonna be to dress Feyre up like she was when you were assaulting her UTM. i dont think its her

I dont know what it is but Im already so over this stupid plotline with Mor and Eris, maybe Im just tired cuz its early but god, i dont ever wanna hear about it again

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #flames and darkness liveblog

[helion-ism]

let’s talk about elucien

there are so many reasons why I love elain x lucien and why I think these two would not only be amazing together, but also why they belong together. one of those reasons is lucien’s sassy personality, which we already got a glimpse of in acotar (and that I miss terribly btw), and which is, in my opinion, exactly what elain needs in her life. we’re talking about lucien “your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold” vanserra. we know he’s got quite a big mouth, that’s how we got to know him, but we also know that mouth is exactly what’s gotten him into trouble before. case in point: the eye incident. lucien doesn’t mince his words and yes, that is one of the reasons why elain really needs to spend some more time with him. 

she has been coddled by not only her father, nesta, feyre, but also the entire inner circle, which has allowed her to live her life passively. yes, she killed the king of hybern, and good for her, but she did it because nobody else could have done it at that point in time. ever since the war ended, elain has not actively contributed to any plot matters, whether by choice or because someone else took the choice from her. azriel said in acosf, “there is an innate darkness to the dread trove that elain should not be exposed to.” even amren pointed out that elain is capable of defending herself, but for some reason, nobody let her even though elain said she would try to find it: “then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” and yet,  by the end of the book, elain’s been barely in it and has not contributed at all. (I know some people claim there’s certain things already happening in the background, but honestly, I’m not satisfied with that development happening off page, so I can’t wait to finally go on her journey and actually see her do stuff)

this moment is crucial:

does it look like she is happy with the way the others treat her? not really. when nesta snapped at her, elain started laughing. that signals relief to me because nesta, the one who has always tried to protect elain the most (nesta baby Ilysm), is the one who suddenly lost her patience. elain needs somebody like lucien, somebody with a big mouth and sassy attitude, who can coax her out of that paralysis she’s been stuck in, a bit like nesta in this scene. additionally, the banter would be top tier. I want another “if I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?” moment, please. god please. (elain blinks. “and where would you like that kiss?” — and lucien just loses his mind.)

another thing that lives in my head rent free is the fact that lucien has travelled almost everywhere and could introduce elain, who wishes to see more of the world (see: “elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers”), to the different courts and the continent. I refuse to accept that we will not get to learn more about the other courts, for my sake, but also for elain’s sake. I want her to see the spring court at least once. I want her to go and see those tulips she’s dreamt of. I want her and lucien to discover the day court as a new home, which brings me to the next point. 

elain has been craving sunshine for some time now. there’s several quotes that emphasise her connection to sunshine/light, here are a few of my favourites: 

I marveled at it, actually — that those years of poverty hadn‘t stripped away that light from elain.

the suite was filled with sunlight. every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. as if any bit of darkness was abhorrent.

she had been always so full of light. perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. to fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. and now nothing remained.

what can I get you, elain? — sunshine.

elain doesn’t belong into the night court. feyre has found her family there, with rhys and the inner circle. nesta has found (or should I say accepted) cassian and found gwyn and emerie, her chosen sisters. but elain?

elain is somewhere in the background hiding with the twins and tending to gardens of the citizens of velaris. you can’t tell me that is satisfactory to you. she is currently ignoring her seer abilities, and the members of the inner circle are basically encouraging her to do so. the only time she’s been confronted lately was during that conversation with nesta and her reaction was not exactly what any of us readers would have expected, was it? that tells me there’s much more about her we don’t know yet, and I’m convinced we won’t know until she finally leaves and finds her own people, finds herself again and start dealing with everything that happened to her. elain must leave the night court, i.e. the darkness, behind in order to grow.

the same goes to lucien: he’s not at a place where he can just jump into a relationship or mating bond. he’s got so much stuff going on. lucien was forced to abandon his home and his abusive family, his “father” killed the fae he loved in front of his eyes, his best friend is an abusive pos who never appreciated him anyway, and neither has anyone in the night court. lucien is used because of his connections and because of the mating bond that ties him to elain, whether he wanted it or not. feyre knows he would never turn away from elain unless she explicitly wishes him to, and so she and rhys and the others use that to their advantage. it is smart, of course, but at the same time, they also keep important information about his own life from him that could change many, many things. so he’s spending his time with mortals in the human lands — a place where he as a fae really does not belong. 

lucien being the heir to the day court, well, to me, it feels like sjm is practically screaming it into our face: how could he find a home in the night court, the literal opposite to the day? darkness vs. light. and what about elain “he’d never once in the two years he’d known her found elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … it sucked the life from her” archeron? just looking at the symbolism, not only do the quotes from above indicate that the night court cannot possibly be her home, but also very recent quotes from the latest book. elain is a side character in the night court. and so is lucien. they both need to leave in order to become main characters — and it doesn’t even matter that both are already crucial to the further plot of the series because how can they possibly contribute to it in a place where they are both kept down? 

mor said in acofas: “stay out of it. she’s not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings.” and “let him figure out where he wants to be. who he wants to be. the same goes with her.” mor’s power is “truth”, whatever that means. but there you have it. they’re not ready to be with each other yet, and that’s okay. 

[elain and lucien are also connected not only because of the mating bond, but also because of the plot. lucien must know quite a lot about her and her sisters simply because of all the time he spent with their father. the father who made a bargain with koschei. koschei who put a spell on vassa. lucien is therefore tied to both papa archeron as well as koschei and vassa. elain, we know, is a seer, despite her not using her abilities (or is she, and we simply don’t know?). elain is (obviously) connected to her father, but also to koschei and vassa (remember those visions she had).]

now let’s get to the mating bond stuff, and I need to say this loud and clear: elain has always had and will always have one (1) true mate. there’s no such thing as “false mate” or even multiple mates. there has been no indication whatsoever. lucien is the mate the cauldron had given her when she was born. and elain is the mate the cauldron had given him when he was born. even when she was still human, they already belonged together — tied together by strings of fate. absolutely nothing will change this fact. should elain reject the bond, lucien will remain a part of her life/her soul forever. should lucien reject the bond, elain will remain a part of his life/his soul forever.

when she was still human, lucien had already felt a pull between them and tried to save and protect her from hybern. when elain was already fae, when it came to protecting her, azriel clapped cassian’s shoulder and left (is this the true mate they’re all talking about?). it’s unfair to lucien, elain, AND azriel and this comparison alone is enough to disprove this theory.

the thing is, lucien has been nothing but respectful, kind and caring towards elain. when he arrived in velaris in acowar, he could immediately sense what she needed and said, “she needs fresh air” (vs. the response “we’ll judge what she needs”) and “take her to the sea. take her to some garden. but get her out of this house for an hour or two.” (I’m gonna make another post about this because I have a few thoughts on this)

of course, she doesn’t owe him anything, but elain herself doesn’t wish to be treated like a child, she maybe she should start acting like an adult because although she doesn’t owe lucien an apology or explanation, she has to have a conversation with him, like two responsible adults. there is no way feyre or anyone in the inner circle hasn’t told her that she can reject the bond and move on with her life. but just like her powers, this is another thing she chooses to ignore. I’m not blaming her because I know she has to work through her trauma first and heal, but by the end of the series, she has to acknowledge that at least.

in acosf, elain says “I am not a child to be fought over” when they discuss the dread trove. I wonder what she would say about the fact azriel threatens to challenge lucien to the blood duel because of her? based on literally everything we know about lucien, I can say with certainty that he would not physically fight over elain. if she only had a conversation with him and told him to move on and leave her alone, lucien would do just that. he would leave her alone and try to move on as best as he could (which we know is difficult for males). but he would never act as entitled to her as to demand a blood duel and fight to death. it goes against his principles. 

to finish this off, sjm summing up everything I just said:

#elucien #mating bond #mp

[justheretoreadsposts]

Have you lost your mind?

summary: Azriel gets lectured by Rhysand and Cassian about his constant flirting with Elain, not knowing that she was hiding in the closet.

authors note: hello! This is my second one-shot (I might make this into a small series) This was inspired by a certain scene in The Office ;) and I’d like to thank @shedoessoshedoes for listening to my random ideas and giving me feedback and making this so much better!

Warning: English isn’t my first language.

Azriel didn’t like change. 

He really didn’t. But something had changed about his mornings. He used to love to wake up to the smell of black coffee, but that had changed since he met her. His new favourite thing was waking up to find Elain tucked in between his shoulder and his chest, sound asleep. 

He would never get bored of watching her sleep, he looked down at a sleeping Elain. He didn’t want to move and accidentally wake her up, even though he missed her big brown eyes looking up at him. 

 “What are you doing?” She asked, pulling Azriel out of his trance. She pushed herself up, sitting up against the headboard. She pushed her long honey-brown locks away from her face and threw it in a ponytail.

“Enjoying the scenery,” He simply responded before he sat up, leaning against the headboard.

Elain dipped her head, she was blushing a thousand shades of red. He hooked his index finger below her chin and gently tilted her head up, to look at him. He smiled, a loopy one nonetheless, and began to smother her face with light and tender kisses. “Az!” She squealed, squirming as he pulled Elain under him. 

“I gotta show some love somehow, don’t I?” He murmured as he began to press kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

She giggled, a bright smile on her face. She found herself growing excited as his grip on her hips began to tighten as she began to tug off the shirt she was wearing which she had snagged from his closet. Before they went any further, a loud bang broke the silence that had occupied the house. He recognized the footsteps that marched up the stairs, it was Cass and Rhys, who had gotten married to Elain’s sisters recently and were Azriel’s college mates in Velaris University.

The fuck? What are they doing here?

 Azriel kissed Elain’s cheek before he pulled his shirt over her shoulders and rolled off of her, hopping out of the bed with Elain close behind him. She realized it was her brothers in law when she saw Azriel’s eyes widen, she quickly pushed herself into his closet, hiding in between his hoodies before her brothers-in-law walked into Azriel’s room. 

Two weeks ago, after Nesta and Cassian’s rehearsal dinner, Azriel confessed his feelings to Elain. God, it terrified him when he admitted his feelings to his best friend. He didn’t want to ruin what they had. They met in University, before Elain opened her flower shop, and had became very close friends. 

What if she didn’t reciprocate his feelings? He worried, every rational fear flew through the window the minute Elain went on her tippy toes and kissed him.

Ever since that night, they have been together, in secret. Suspicions began to arise when Azriel and Elain to quietly flirt between themselves and began to sit next to each other every time the family went out. Small touches here and there, a hand on the small of her back, an arm around her shoulder. 

One time when everyone went out for dinner, he slipped his hand under the table trying to tease her, but his hand landed on Amren’s thigh. 

He didn’t know if he was going to make it alive tonight when Amren’s piercing gaze fell on Azriel’s face. One brow raised at him and he quickly retracted his hand in fear in fear while a small laugh erupted from across the table from Elain. They were a bit tipsy, but the mother, Azriel could've gotten drunk on the sound of Elain’s laugh.

He didn’t forget what she had done. He raised his brows, in challenge and nodded. Oh she was to pay for this, he would make sure of it. 

Nesta Archeron was always the mama bear while Elain was the cub but it was Feyre who noticed the occasional hand around her waist, the sly smiles and winks that were thrown across the table. She talked to her husband, Rhysand, and told him of her suspicions, which led them to this moment.

Azriel shut the closet door, making sure Elain wasn’t visible and then quickly sat back on his bed before Rhysand and Cassian welcomed themselves into his room. “She is like my little sister!” Rhysand exclaimed as he glared at Azriel. “I don’t want to see you sniffing around her anymore. Boy, have you lost your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it.” 

Azriel's gaze shifted to the closet, where the said sister, Elain, was hiding. 

“What are you looking at? I’m not going to hold Nesta back when you cuts you to pieces, The Mother could come through that door and she’s not going to help you if you keep flirting with Elain!” Cassian exclaimed. 

“Can I know what I did to earn a lovely lecture at-” He looked at the alarm that sat on his bedside table. “At nine in the morning?” 

“Feyre talked to me and said that she thinks that something is going on between you and El.” Rhysand explained, his violet eyes glaring at him as his arms crossed across his chest.

“And if something was going on between us?”

“Then good luck, because Nesta will kill you in your sleep.” Cassian shrugged. “Nes and Feyre love Elain, and they will happily kill you if you dare break her heart. And Mother! I would help them do it!”

“God, I would never break her heart. I love her.” Azriel declared.

The two men stood in shock and a small gasp was heard from the closet. Rhysand’s brows flew to his hairline when he heard the gasp, he made his way across the room and opened the closet door to find Elain standing there.

Only in his shirt. 

“The fuck?” Cassian exclaimed as he took in Elain.

Azriel clenched his jaw, not because their secret was now out, more like he didn’t like the way their relationship was exposed. 

 “You love me?” Elain whispered as she climbed out of his closet and towards him. 

Azriel just nodded, he loved her. And Mother did he hope she loved him back. “I love you Elain, you have bewitched me body and soul, I love you.” He let out a shaky breath.

“Did he just quote pride and prejudice?” Rhysand whispered to Cassian, who nodded. 

Elain ran to Azriel, who pressed a kiss on his lips. “I love you too,” She smiled as a happy tear escaped her. “I love you, and I’m never gonna stop.” She mumbled.

Azriel wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss. It wasn’t a tender kiss, it was the type of kiss where she felt devoured. 

“That’s our cue to leave.” Cassian mumbled as he grabbed Rhysand’s wrist and dragged him out.

She let out a big laugh when they left. Azriel flashed Elain with a smile only she would have the privilege to see. Her heart melted as she looked at him and his big grin that rarely graced his face. 

“I love you, Az.” She hugged him. 

“Say it again.” 

“I love you, Azriel Knight.”

——————————————————————————

authors note: I’m a big office fan, if you can’t tell already ;) hope you enjoyed reading this, and don’t forget to share, like, and give feedback!

#elain x azriel #pro elain #elriel #fanfic #modern au #cassian x nesta #Azriel #rhysand #acotar #my fic #acotar fanfic #elriel fanfic

[fawnandshadows]

ACOTAR Characters and the Taylor Swift song that they go the hardest to

Feyre — Better Man

Notable Lyrics: And I see the permanent damage you did to me, I know the bravest thing I ever did was run, And it was always on your terms - I waited on every carless word, But your jealousy-oh i can hear it now- talking down to me, and i gave to you my best and we both know you can't say that, I just wish you were a better man

Yes, Feyre loves Rhys wholeheartedly, but damn Feyre loves singing this song at the top of her lungs. Yes, Feyre is completely over Tamlin, but you're gonna look me in the eye and tell me Feyre doesn't scream this when it's shit on Tamlin time?

Rhysand — Starlight

Notable Lyrics: And we were dancing - dancing - like we're made of starlight, Don't you see the starlight? Don't you dream impossible things? We could get married - have ten kids and teach them how to dream

This song has massive Feysand energy, and Rhys knows it. He goes so hard to this song because it reminds him of the early days of Feysand's relationship. The dreamer imagery? The starlight imagery? The way this song fucking slaps? Rhysand loves it and eats it up. He most likely made Taylor an honorary member of the Night Court.

Nesta — I Did Something Bad

Notable Lyrics: If a man talks shit - then I owe him nothing, They say I did something bad - then why's it feel so good?, You gotta leave before you get left, They're burning all the witches even if you are one, Light me up

I headcanon that they play reputation during the valkyrie training sessions. Nesta goes so hard to this song it's not even funny. Every time Cassian hears this song blasting he low-key wonders what he did to piss Nesta off, and 90% of the time it's just Nesta rocking out and dancing to let loose.

Cassian— You Belong With Me

Notable Lyrics: Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time, If you could see that i'm the one who understand you - been here all along- so why can't you see you belong with me, You say your fine - i know you better than that

Now, not only does Cassian appreciate this song for the bop that it is, but he also empathizes with it. Cassian had this song on repeat everyday after the Solstice to when Nesta finally recognized him as her mate. He definitely cooks his eggs to this song, and jumps around the kitchen belting out the lyrics, and Nesta was snobby and dismissive about this song at first, but she finally came around.

Elain — Enchanted

Notable Lyrics: There i was again tonight - forcing laughter - faking smiles, All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy, I'm wonderstruck - blushing all the way home, the lingering question kept me up - 2am who do you love?, And now I'm pacing back and forth wishing you were at my door, I'm wonderstruck dancing around all alone, This is me praying that this was the very first page - not where the storylines ends, my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again, Please don't be in love with someone else - please don't have somebody waiting on you

The most enchanting Archeron sister gets the most enchanting song. Elain 100% sings this song and spins around in the moonlight when she can't sleep at night. She yearns just as hard as Azriel. This song is beautiful just like Elain, and she constantly sings it while she gardening and baking. Elain is a Speak Now stan.

Azriel — Back To December

Notable Lyrics: Your guard is up and I know why, cause the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind, so this is me swallowing my pride saying I'm sorry for that night, And I go back to December all the time, It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, I go back to December all the time, These days I haven't been sleeping - staying up playing back myself leaving, you gave me all your love and all i gave you ways goodbye, if the chain is on your door I understand

No one can tell me this isn't Azriel after the Solstice. No one. My dude listens to this on repeat during his flights. I feel like this really needs no explanation.

Mor — I Forgot That You Existed

Notable Lyrics: I forgot that you existed, I thought that it would kill be but it didn't, it was so nice - so peaceful and quiet, lived in the shade you were throwing til all of my sunshine was gone, sent me a clear message - taught me some hard lessons

Mor is a Lover stan and a 1989 stan, but I really see her cranking this song to full volume and singing until her throat is raw to this song. It's her karaoke song. They play this song at Rita's whenever she is there. She is still trying to put her family and Hewn City behind her, and she clings to this song whenever she needs to stay strong. It's also fun and upbeat just like Mor.

Amren — All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

Notable Lyrics: Everything.

Now, Amren doesn't relate to this song. At all. But she loves the anger in it, and when she started playing it on repeat everyone was wondering what the hell Varian did. I can imagine everyone gathering round to discuss the best way to broach the subject, and Rhys was ready to go to war with the Summer Court, and Amren was wondering why everyone was walking on eggshells around her. When they finally confronter her about it, Amren laughed in their faces because Varian treats her like the queen she is.

Lucien — The Story of Us

Notable Lyrics: I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us - how we met and the sparks flew instantly, so many walls up I can't break through, the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, you're doing your best to avoid me, Why are we pretending this is nothing? I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now, I know Lucien is Mr. Perfectly Fine, and he is able to live in the human lands and be happy with Vassa and Jurian, but some of these lyrics were too good not to use (:

#this is just for funsies #coming soon - acotar characters and the taylor songs the cry to #acotar characters #elriel #elain archeron #elain x azriel #azriel #pro elriel #feyre #rhysand #cassian #nesta #amen #mor #lucien #pro feysand #pro nessian #anti gwynriel #anti elucien #pro vassien

[fktonofwhatnow]

The Rhys/Tamlin 180 in ACOMAF makes me mad! Like there’s wasted potential there, even if Rhys is endgame. The concept of after the happily ever after is actually pretty cool. There’s real potential in looking at how Tamlin and Feyre deal with the trauma of Amarantha. Having two people realized they’re not right together while still respecting each other is a more adult take than “surprise, Tamlin sux now”, and allows for Feyre to actually make real choices and grow. What's your ACOMAF rewrite?

Damn YALL ARE SPOILING ME WITH THE TAMLIN ASKS ☺️☺️ thank youuu for the ask @havenfable

THIS IS AGREAT POINT TOO WAIT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ALLOWING FEYRE TO ACTUALLY MAKE REAL DECISIONS !! YOUR BRAIN !! you guys are spectacular eat a cookie you have earned it 

Ok my thoughts are not quite coherent rn so I’ll try to make sense. I’ve tried writing this like 4 times and every time it just doesn’t work so bear with me here thank you I love you ok here we go. 

Ok I’m gonna start by saying that there is something to be said about Feyre as the narrator and her being an “unreliable” narrator of sorts. The story is about her, told from her perspective. I don’t expect her to have objective views of what happens around her. one thing I found interesting was that she said in conversations with people that she knew Tamlin was struggling, but when we would be listening to her internal monologue, when she thought of him it was mostly to blame him for not knowing she was struggling. (or if he did know, he didn't do anything about it) So like, same thing with the whole thing with Rhysand's mom and sister, we don't know what Tamlin thinks or feels about the situation because he doesn't talk about it and Feyre never asks. (But oh DAMN Sarah should not have given me room to speculate.) Like, UTM broke Feyre right, she tells us that much. Why are we not allowed to believe that it destroyed Tamlin too.

Here we are again, just like with Rhysand's family. I don't blame Feyre for literally needing help, and I do blame Tamlin for not helping her, but to a degree. I hated how the whole situation was handled like Tamlin was shit for not trying to help Feyre (even tho he was, just not in the way she needed), but then Feyre literally not lifting a single finger to try to help Tamlin is ok because he's a man and he can just suck it up and take it. ???? No ? That's not how we handle trauma? Like, my homeboy is fighting a losing battle against this shit and he's the one who's gotta fix everything for Feyre?

But like you said, just a tiny little bit of helpful communication would have done wonders. How about a lil, "hey you ok?" ???? LETS TALK ABOUT IT! Let's talk about how we're falling out of love, let's talk about what Tamlin experienced under the mountain, let's talk about what Feyre experienced under the mountain, let's talk about how maybe we were never good for each other and how we move on with our lives from that! POTENTIAL !! LETS HAVE THEM GROW "Surprise! Tamlin sucks now!" bitch how. Literally how. How did this happen. How did we get here. Tell me. I want to know SJm. Stop being a coward and tell me. You know what, I'll do it for you.

Damn this is about to be super duper long I'm so sorry. 

Alrighty guys once again, I love Tamlin with my whole chest, but I do put a hefty chunk of this on him. From what SJm tells us about Tamlin, he is a fearful individual. His responses to fear are either to freeze or to explode. Both extremes hurt people around him. His actions hurt people, and his lack of action hurts people. Also, for as often as he says the word sorry, he doesn't really show any signs of change or improvement. While I understand that yes , changing your behavior is hard, especially if you're not getting help and don't know how, Tamlin still could have tried a little more, pushed just a little harder, and yes, he could have been better.

But Tamlin is scared. He's scared of things outside of his control, he's scared of change, he's scared of people he loves leaving him or getting hurt. I'm willing to bet he's scared of himself, and rightfully so. He lashes out and it only ever hurts people. I can't believe he's blind to it. When he destroys the study, he's clearly afraid he hurt Feyre.

(i think I’m gonna do my acomaf rewrite headcanons in a different post, every time I try to write them here it doesn’t flow oooof lemme know if thats something you want ahahah I could talk about this shit forever) 

And like, being subject to someone else's fear is stifling. I don't blame Feyre for getting the hell out of there.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I know I've said this before: in my opinion, Tamlin has the best depiction of trauma in the whole fucking series. PTSD is a bitch and Tamlin is losing to it. The thing I loathed about acomaf/the beginning of Acowar is how Tamlin isn't given help and then treated like an absolute asshole for it. SJm could have done so much if she had Tamlin learn to ask for help. We can't all just have a Rhysand who knows every thought we have. Sometimes we have to ask for help, as much as we don't want to. That would have done wonders for Tamlin's character arc. And I think that he should have leaned heavily on Lucien for that.

Now look, Lucien deserves a lifetime of free chiropractor visits to relieve the soreness from carrying the entire series solely by himself on his own back. If I'm the one to pay for that for him, so be it. I would do anything for this man.

Lucien deserved so much better than to be bulldozed by the narrative. I refuse to believe that he would let Tamlin use him as a doormat. Lucien deserved to tell Tamlin off on his behavior ok. Lucien deserved a fucking backbone that he had all of acotar and then SJm decided that he was the character who got to suffer for the decisions of every other characters so they didn't have to. Stupid. (At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Rhysand's cum from having sky sex with Feyre fell directly on Luciens face. That's how much SJm likes pummelling him)

Lucien deserves to be strong and tough and emotionally available, especially for Tamlin. I don't think he deserves to be abused by his best friend. I've read fics that make Tamlin like this jackass who's not sad at all that Amarantha forced him to whip his best friend. Are you fucking kidding me. I feel like if Tamlin was going to cling like hell to someone through all of the shit before, during and after UTM, it should be lucien. But no SJm needs us to know Tamlin is a bad guy now. He hurts everyone with no remorse!!! What a villain!!! That was a sin.

Acomaf deserved to be two people talking about how maybe this relationship wasn't going to work out. This book deserved to be Tamlin getting up the courage to as Lucien for help. This book deserved to be Lucien always telling Tamlin that he would be there for him and us getting to watch the two of them overcoming their hardships together. This book deserved to be Feyre choosing her own path, choosing her own family, choosing to live her life as she wanted.

But nah. Rhysand's got a fat cock and uhhh y'all need to like it more than y'all like Tamlin's dick. Also Rhysand is a feminsisist. So suck it.

(If this book was really about giving Feyre a choice, SJm would let her make actual decisions that actually impacted herself and the story instead of just having Rhysand give her two extremes with one of them being obviously the right choice and then tell her whatever she wanted to do was her choice. Feminism.)

Did any of that make any sense. Any at all. No? Yeah I didn't think so anyways I've spent like a week on this I'm tired and I wanted to get it out there. Acomaf was a mess but at least it wasn't Acowar hahahahaha

#anti acotar #anti sjm #anti feyre #anti rhysand #anti inner circle #lucien vanserra #tamlin #lucien deserved better #tamlin deserved better #anti tamlins trash character arc

[vidalinav]

So...

Am I correct to assume that Nesta’s birthday is going to be a bash after ACOSF? Because it should be lol. 

Though Headcanon #978: Birthday Edition

~

Cassian wants to throw her a party because it’s his MATE’s birthday. Their first birthday together. Like hell he’s not going to make a big deal about it. He has the week planned. It’s Nesta’s birthday week. 

He has breakfast in bed, a bath run with rose petals, he spent two weeks getting her a gift (not sure what it is yet). He got a giant ass red ribbon because he plans on wrapping himself in it when the night is over.... (wink wink wink lol) I imagine that he actually does try to have every day focused on Nesta, like one gift everyday or something leading up to it. I also imagine things going intensely awry, like he’s called to Illyria. There’s trouble in this place. Yadda Yadda, so all his plans are moot and he’s more upset about it than Nesta is because Nesta didn’t even know. But he’s at least there for the day before and the day of Nesta’s birthday. Nothing is going to stop him for those two days. He’s like die another day, nothing is going to keep him from celebrating the birth of the love of his life. 

I still imagine that Nesta likes attention. I feel she would hate her birthday on principle. But she’s very excited this year to be celebrated, because she has best friends and a mate and a magical house and it’s an entire new year when the last few sucked. So, she’s like yesss, celebrate me, love me, feed me cake.  

But Nesta is also very adamant that she does not want to make a big deal about it. She wants him to make a big deal about it. But she does not want a huge party (i.e. She does not want a family celebration-group get together-----Still sure they are not friends, her and the IC, Idfc it doesn’t make sense) But Cassian is like “You deserve a big party. After all you’ve done” but that’s precisely why she doesn’t want it. Because they don’t love her, they love what she did for them. So Nesta concedes and tells him fine they can have a party, but she only wants Emerie and Gwyn to be there. Because Gwyn and Emerie have already made plans with her about this day. 

They’re going to have another sleep over. They’re going to fill the room with balloons. It’s going to be a giant ball pit filled with sacks of helium. There’s going to be a cake that towers to the ceiling. They’re going all out.  

Cassian is like what about Azriel? And Nesta goes fine, if Azriel is here and he wants to come for a bit then he can. Cassian concedes to this. 

BUT then they have a family dinner, because those occur weekly, and Feyre brings up her birthday and she’s like uhhh... I already got plans. She tries to use Cassian as an excuse, and he lets her because he knows why, but they’re like nah Cassian you don’t mind do you? And Cassian just looks at Nesta like what do you want me to say? But Nesta doesn’t know how to tell them that she doesn’t really want them to come. Especially to her sister who she’s trying to turn a new leaf towards. The problem though is, it’s not going to be just Feyre and Elain who come, because she doesn’t mind only them. But Feyre comes with the rest of the group and then it becomes huge and she really doesn’t want that. And also her friends are not their friends. She’s lived separate lives, and she doesn’t really want them to mix. 

But she can’t necessarily lie. But she can’t tell the truth. So she’s like trying to keep everything separate. So, she’s like well why don’t we have a small outing in the morning or something with just the sisters, but then fucking Rhys is like WE ALL want to celebrate your birthday. He plans on getting her several gifts. He already knows what they are, and Nesta looks at him disturbed because she really does not want to know what they are. But then Azriel is chiming in because he already knows what’s happening and he’s a butt sometimes and he knows Nesta is trying to avoid them, so he’s like yeah Nesta, we ALL want to celebrate. She gives him a mocking look, he smirks. Nesta realizes he’s a lot more annoying than she thought he was... she wanted to have a threesome with this guy. Big mistake ever thinking that. But then Amren chimes in also, and then Mor not really wanting to be left out is like.... I got you a gift already. Nesta is very surprised about that and also horrified. Is Mor lying? Only the fic will tell. 

So... this happens in two ways one that is fluffier than the other. Okay? 

Option 1: Angst version/Drama version

They show up uninvited after Cassian expressly says that she wants a small birthday party and that they’ll have their own personal one the day of, and then the next day they can have a party with the IC. Two days of parties, which Nesta is fine with. 

But they ignore those wishes and end up showing up on the day of and Cassian is upset about that, because this is Nesta’s day. He wants her to be comfortable and happy and no arguments at all or weird feelings. Nothing. Nesta has been through a hard year, this day is just for her. But them showing up uninvited makes it about them. 

They bring many gifts that Nesta doesn’t want to open really, because Emerie and Gwyn are there, and she doesn’t want them to see how impersonal the gifts are. Because they’re impersonal. They don’t know Nesta, and they grasping at straws. Nesta knows this. She just wanted one day of not pretending that they’re utterly fantastic. But it’s because Nesta is self-conscious, prideful, and she has tendency towards embarrassment in the book I noticed, where she doesn’t want to be judged or looked at in a way she doesn’t want. And she abhors the idea of Emerie and Gwyn seeing her act differently around her family or seeing her family around her and then deciding that she’s as rotten as she feels. Old insecurities die hard you know. BUT mostly, it’s also because Gwyn and Emerie don’t know them, and Nesta doesn’t want them to be uncomfortable either. She didn’t expect them to come, or she would have asked them if it was okay. I have this hardcore headcanon that Nesta is chill with almost everything as long as you ask her, but I imagine her as a boundaries type of person, that she’s okay as long as you respect her boundaries no matter how odd they may seem to people more open than her. 

She spends the night more subdued than Cassian would have liked, kind of smiling shyly but also maybe more apprehensive. Which makes him angrier that they showed up. (I love grumpy Cassian I don’t know why). 

But you know she’s polite. It’s just a tad awkward, and the IC start getting pretty defensive, because Cassian gets mad when they’re about to leave. I imagine they start dismissing his feelings, like Nesta seems fine with it. Why do you have a problem? I want the old IC to come back and all of those problems from previous books, because damn do they dismiss Cassian many many times. Bring that shit back, I was entertained.

The sisters exchange parting words, and its civil and nice, but they do note that Gwyn and Emerie are going to stay and Nesta seems excited about it, and when Nesta talks to them, she’s a happier person, and they kind of resent that. More Elain I feel than Feyre. Feyre’s just more sad about it but she understands because she also has friends who she considers closer than her sisters. She’s just content that Nesta has people now who Nesta feels open and happy with. Elain is like straight up annoyed. (Personally if Elain is going to be pitted against Gwyn (I sure hope to god not) I would rather it not be about a man and more about Nesta and her relationships). But Nesta again is like turning a new leaf, so she’s like are we still going out tomorrow for breakfast or whatever? And Feyre’s like yeah! I don’t know I feel she gets more that Nesta is trying than Elain. Elain doesn’t have an arc, so I imagine this would a be a start of an arc, these conflicts. 

But yeah, you know that scene in ACOFAS, where it was Nesta looking through the window and seeing all of these happy people who are so together, who left her out even when she was just starting to push them away. I want that again in the opposite direction. Where it’s the IC/sisters who look at Nesta and her group of friends, and Cassian, and Azriel who you know stays because he lives there, and thinks that they are not a part of that happy group and they resent that, because whatever did they do???? 

Anyhoo. 

Option 2: Fluffier version (For Nesta anyways)

Is that Nesta concedes to them coming to her party. Gwyn and Emerie are told that they are coming, but again they are not staying for the night, but Gwyn and Emerie will stayover. So the cots are set up and they’re in the family library. They have a bunch of board games set up, romance novels everywhere.

They’re blowing up balloons when the IC/Sisters come and they have helium, because you know who gives af about rules of this world when SJM doesn’t so, there’s helium. And Nesta is a little tipsy. The House has given her wine, but is monitoring the intake, and Nesta is doing pretty good about it, because addiction wasn’t that big of a deal in this book, so we just gonna trek on. Nesta is a giggly drunk. Who knew? She’s also a flirty drunk so she has clung to Cassian many times. She’s giggly and touchy touchy. Cassian is having the time of his life seeing her this way. It’s cute and he kisses her nose and she wraps her arms around his middle and just hugs him constantly. Like a Koala. You know. 

But when the IC/sisters get there, Nesta actually answers the door, and again she’s pretty loose. So she’s smiling and very happy to have her friends, so she’s like okay, come on in. They go to the library and Emerie and Gwyn are inhaling the helium and Nesta laughs at the voices, but they quickly get up when they see their High Lord and Lady, and they try to like say hello, but their voices are still changed, so Nesta laughs again. 

And the IC/Sisters note the giant ass cake in the middle of the room. All of the balloons. The streamers. The signs that look so messy. And they’re like this is... not what they were expecting. Because it’s not formal at all. Very casual even and they did not expect that from Nesta. 

Emerie and Gwyn give her their gifts early. Not sure what they are, but Nesta absolutely loves them and she shows them off and is just like super proud to have these friends and she’s like bragging about them freely. And Emerie and Gwyn are just kind of like holding her and hugging her and being all fond too about her, because affectionate drunk Nesta, but also because her friend group dynamic is affectionate and loving. 

I feel Cassian does actually gift her a weapon, mostly because I want to see it. I feel like Nesta would appreciate that. I know she has her own technically, that are magical. But a women needs more than three weapons ya feel? So the one he gifts her has opal on it, on the hilt and encrusted through the blade. Because it looks like the sky perfectly and it’s gorgeous. Freedom, Flight, and Fight you know. And it’s like the shiniest steel sword with markings engraved, and it’s very thin and light because Cassian made sure that it was suited for Nesta. That it would be comfortable for her height and weight. It’s crafted in the Day Court, because well he gets all his gifts there now. Helion indulges him in hopes that it will somehow make him look more appealing to Nesta Lol. 

Mor actually does give her a gift, because if this is the fluffy version than Mor and Nesta have had a moment before this dealing with Keir in which Nesta is a bit of a confidant and someone who sides with Mor which validates Mor’s feelings because Keir visits, which maybe I will make a post about later. But they’re... frenemies. Not enemies anyways. They understand each other a bit more. SO she gifts Nesta a music box, the one with a little ballerina that dances. It was actually hers when she was young. She explains that she tried to find a new one but all of them just didn’t seem like her and the one she had had more sentimental value that she felt Nesta should have. This makes entirely more sense if you know the context. But Nesta just stares in awe at this present. It’s gold and images are carved out on the lid and sides and the music I imagine sounds like Once upon a December from Anastasia. It’s very magical. And Nesta is extremely surprised. Everyone is because Mor’s presents suck. But this present doesn’t suck at all. Nesta’s touched, but Mor kind of brushes it away, she’s kind of embarrassed about the reaction. 

But eventually everyone leaves and it still ends on a somber note, because her sisters and even the rest of the IC, really do notice that they are not completely a part of Nesta’s life. They come and they go. She doesn’t ask them to stay, which may be overreaching since they haven’t done anything to warrant the closeness, but they do start realizing that they may have caused some things that are not fixable because Nesta is civil but she’s not close with them. And they almost want to be close to her, because of how warm and comfortable the home she created is. They don’t understand how that could have happened without them. But it does end up being something that everyone doesn’t know whether they should resent, or decide that they just need to try harder to be a part of Nesta’s life, not so much Nesta fitting in with theirs. I like to think that they don’t know the extent of the ramifications that they caused by being bitchy to Nesta when she was not in a good place. You can’t necessarily ask to be loved when you are not so lovable, since that’s essentially what they put on Nesta. 

Oh how the turn tables. 

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #long post #nessian headcanon #nessian hc #vidalinav

[talkfantasytome]

Sooo….I kinda feel like everyone loves Azriel simply because we don’t really know him…. Like, his backstory is super interesting, and he has that whole “tall,dark and mysterious” thing going on, but I feel like the fandom loves the version they’ve created of him. Which is fine, but I think we have to acknowledge that SJM is kinda good at ruining her characters. *cough* Rhysand *cough* Feyre *cough* Tamlin….and I could go on. I fear that if we get a book where Azriel is a main, everyone will be disappointed.

That is a totally fair and valid fear!

I do agree that's probably a reason why people love him. The other reason is because Az is your standard "sad boi", and A LOT of people, especially readers, seem to love a good sad boi. Or, at least, a lot of readers in my life do. 👀 Personally, I don't. I fell in love with Cassian basically the moment we met him and have never faltered - that's my type. I've posted about it, but my three biggest SJM world crushes are Cassian, Connor Holstrom, and Aedion Ashryver (don't get me wrong, I do looooove Rowan, but Aedion was the one that just had me like 'awwww 😍😊'). So, like, yeah...and while, yes, there's obvs a physical aspect to that, in reading, that's not what makes you fall in love. And those three definitely also have very similar vibes, especially Cassian and Aedion, who can both have some comic relief aspect, and are happier bois.

Anyway, enough about me, the point is that a lot of people seem drawn to the sad boi type, too, whether they can help it or not. And hey, we all have our trauma that makes us like what we like, so def. no judgment from me on that.

As for being afraid she'll ruin his character, I get where you're coming from. Especially after reading the Bonus chapter because, I'll admit, I was disappointed in what we saw from Az in his mind.

That being said, SJM loves Az, so at least, if she does ruin him, it won't be purposeful, similarly to Rhys. But, I also think that she has a lot of room to help him grow. SJM, in my opinion, hasn't ruined characters when they were the main. I mean, for the first three books Feyre was really the only MC, with a bit of Rhys POV at times, and we loved Rhys so much! And some of us loved Feyre...I was iffy on her at times, cause she's always been just a bit too perfect, but I def. never hated her, and I often did like her.

However, I know a number of people that hated Nesta before ACOSF, and after it were like "shit, this badass is queeeeen". Which, yes, accurate, how dare you not figure it out sooner. 👀 And while Cassian could have had more development, and been a bit better, I didn't feel like he got ruined in ACOSF either. Even with his flaws, I still ended up loving him more. I need a man like that...one that'll wait for me and fight for me, like, ughhhh...seriously, can I have one??

But, yeah, SJM didn't really ruin Rhys until ACOSF, and we finally saw him through eyes that didn't have a "Rhys is the best" filter. It probably also didn't help that we fell in love with Nesta and so many of us relate to her in one way or another. But, we also have to remember that there are people out there who still don't like Nesta, and they don't feel Rhys was ruined. It's okay to be wrong sometimes. My point with that is that, in the end, it'll be as much about ourselves, what we related to and how we see those actions. Me, I saw a male who couldn't be sympathetic to a struggling female, and held her to a double standard and couldn't forgive her for the things she did years ago when she was basically a child, and nothing she could do would be enough. Not even literally save his brother's life. And yet, he'd forgive the other sister even though she did less than Nesta did when they were humans, isn't the one who attempted to get Feyre back from the Fae lands (I mean, seriously, does no one in the book remember that Nesta traveled to the f*ing wall as a human to try and get Feyre back?!), and did very little during the war. Not trying to insult E\ain, just pointing out what happened and how Rhys is holding a double standard, forgiving one sister solely because she's "nice" and hating the other, most likely because Nesta was representing on the outside what everyone else was feeling on the inside. And, Rhys is your typical WASP - you hide those emotions, you do not show flaws in public, outside your home everything is fine, repress repress repress.

Okay, sorry, Rhys rant over, and if anyone was ever curious where I stood on Rhys (and hadn't seen other posts where I def. brought it up), now you know. I'm not sorry. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, while I understand the fear, and that feeling is totally valid, I'll say I'm not super concerned. Because SJM is good at putting us in the perspective of who she's writing from, and that will hopefully help us long-term in his book, even if maybe at the beginning it's rough cause Az hates himself.

My biggest fear is definitely more that we'll be disappointed because we all like Az (or love for some) and many of us are likely building up this potential story in our heads a lot - kinda like what you said about the fandom making our own Az. Or reading fics doing the same. I won't deny, that's probably my biggest fear. It's not that she'll ruin Az, but just that she'll do things differently, and I may be a bit disappointed...esp. if she doesn't make Gwyn the dom. 👀 After reading a fic with femdom Gwyn (not super BDSM, just, like, she's the dom in the relationship), I can't not want that...so, like, SJM, plz. I know it's probs not gonna happen, she writes relationships where the guy is the top, BUT IT COULD!

And, if it doesn't, then she better f*ing make E\ain the dom to Lucien's sub...I'm sorry, but considering her personality outside of the bedroom, it's just so right, and we need a femdom relationship in her world.

So, yeah. I get your fear. It's fair. The fanon version of Az does exist, for sure. I think canon Az is likely going to be darker, for sure, at least at the beginning, which is going to be difficult but really put us on a true journey. But, in the end, it also might be something we have to check ourselves on, because it wouldn't be fair to SJM for us to be disappointed because we created something we love with her character, and then she showed us that the character she created is different.

I understand, I feel you. But don't worry too much. <3 I will just leave you with a little nugget from the true nugget, Newt Scamander:

#ask box #azriel #acotar thoughts #azriel shadowsinger #gwynriel #elucien

[bookofmirth]

There are three things that I keep thinking about and I’d love to know your opinion on! First, I feel like Rhys has been doing all the things in acosf that he hated tamlin for, like, keeping vital information from feyre, making decisions for her etc. Do you think SJM is building up to sth or is this gonna be swept under the rug? Also, when he threatened to kill nesta for the fact that she told feyre information about her own body, I was super surprised that feyre didn’t lash out at him. He was so out of line and threatening to kill his mates sister and his best friends mate was honestly shocking. And then also do you think if it was feyre in the blood rite instead of nesta, do you think he’d have tried to to something?

Hi, I think this is the first of a few asks you sent me, sorry for taking a minute to get to them! I'm gonna blame @hellacioushag and @technotzar for this.

Keeping info from Feyre: this is totally a thing that Tamlin did in acotar, and it really makes me pause any time I think about feysand as a couple now. But I wouldn't be surprised if it gets swept under the rug. I actually think the point of the feysand short chapter was to excuse his actions to the reader. In it, Feyre recognizes that something is wrong with Rhys that he isn't telling her, but she says he'll tell her in his own time, when he's ready. I guess we're just supposed to be okay with it??

Threatening to kill Nesta: I WISH we had seen Feyre take Rhys to task for that. Because what the fuck. It was HIS fault that it was a secret being kept from Feyre, HIS fault that no one else was telling her the truth, HIS decision to just wait and see what they could find. He deserves to sleep on the couch for a DECADE for that crap. For all of it, really. He treated Nesta like shit from day one and ignored Feyre's requests that he let her handle her sisters in the way she wanted to. Which is 100% her prerogative. They are Feyre's sisters, and a romantic partner coming in between a blood family relationship makes my skin crawl for personal reasons.

And this last question is interesting!!! If Feyre had been in the Blood Rite, I bet he would have lost his shit. It would have had bigger implications than just grief, of course. Rhys would have died too. It seems odd that the most powerful High Lord in history somehow isn't able to change the rules of a ritual that some of his people participate in, yet other people can break those rules by smuggling weapons in 🤨

#acosf #feysand #rhysand #ask #anon

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

#amandathoughts #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acofas #a court of frost and starlight #sarah j maas #freye #rhysand #nesta archeron #tamlin #lucien #cassian #late night thoughts #acotar rant #nesta stan #updated with memes #just to break up the novel i wrote #feyre #feyre archeron #high lady feyre #amandabookthoughts

[wingsandembers]

Acosf review (with spoilers)

The story started out strong, like really strong, the best work from SJM so far. I cried multiple times, I felt so strongly for my homegirl Nesta.

But the story fizzled out towards the end imo, Cassian and Nesta was having too much sex for no reason at all. Like the first three or four times, IMMACULATE. feysand could never. But then towards the end they were becoming feysand 2.0.

Not always a bad thing, coz they’re a better written version of feysand, but in one of their sex scenes, like the one on the table, it felt more like feysand than nessian. They corrected course eventually, during solstice, but at one point there they were in the feysand rabbit hole.

There was also a lot of fan service in the last part, especially with Nesta participating in blood rite. I also didn’t like how much feysand we got in this book especially in the end and the whole pregnancy plot was just cringe.

There were things I waited so long to be addressed but they weren’t addressed, but coz of how the story unfolded, it didn’t matter anymore really, but I still wished they did.

Like almost everything from last solstice was addressed except for when Cassian said he didn’t understand how his sisters still love her & Cassian realizing he was so wrong about her bullshiit behavior. But then they were also indirectly resolved or addressed, only not to my satisfaction.

I did like and respect SJM for allowing the IC especially Rhys and feyre to be terrible, coz omg I know I’m biased but even if you liked them, you had to recognize how shitty they were most of the times in this book. And I also didn’t like how much they took over the story that was supposed to be about nesta and Cassian.

I honestly still dunno what Amren and Nesta fought about except for some bs reason that Amren chose feyre when everyone did choose feyre she was the high lady

Ugh elain, fucking elain. I hate her more than I do feyre. I was right about her and so glad she was called out on her bs multiple times. While the chasm between elain and nesta wasn’t resolved like with nesta and feyre was, I’m glad it wasn’t coz if the next book is about her and Azriel, elain has a lot of shit she needs to work out as well.

I still think that the fact Nesta is more powerful than anyone and can rule entire world not just pyrthian, they need to thank who they need to thank that nesta still has low self esteem even after everything that she’s just happy to have Cassian and the house of wind at the end of all this.

Give her time tho...give her time tho...😏

Cassian, I get it, to him feysand is relationship goals, not that he wants to be them but wants to feel deserving of what they have too. But boy is obsessed. I love how he defended and protected Nesta from the IC, and he was gonna die for her so there’s no questioning his love for Nesta, but at the same time, he was never really presented that conundrum or had to prove where his loyalty lies, is it with his mate or his high lord and lady

At best he played referee and stayed neutral and got in between them, but pushed come to shove, who will he defend and protect? My heart says nesta but logic dictates it will be Rhys or feyre.

The thing with Mor also never really addressed, even if nesta admits she’s jealous of her and her history with Cassian.

Basically Cassian got away with a lot of shit that should’ve been addressed but at the same time he also did a lot of things that proved himself and that those things didn’t seem important to address anymore, idk.

I still think it’s bullshit how IC decided to finally help Nesta, but I did like Nesta did the work all on her own afterwards and Cassian just needed to start listening instead of forcing her to do what he wants

I get the whole physical training thing and her leading her own army of female warriors I approve of that, but she never really trained her actual magical powers, like it was just assumed the physical training also helped with her magic but those are two different things??

I loved her friendship with emerie and gywn, I totally stan, one of my favorite things that happened to her. And the HOUSE.

Nesta smiling. Laughing. We got it multiple times. I loved it.

Did I love how Nessian was ultimately resolved? I did. The only parts I didn’t like about it was feysand stealing moments from them, like especially towards the end. They just admitted to themselves they’re mates couldn’t we savor that a little bit more but no I have to read about feysand stupid bargain and her bleeding.

I am iffy about the deserving storyline part, coz hate it but I also get it. I didn’t like that burden was all on Nesta, and that she didn’t deserve to be loved. Coz lbr none of these fuckers deserves her anyways, but it’s what she wanted, Amren’s friendship, her sisters forgiveness, Cassian’s everything, & honestly gaining Rhys respect and acceptance coz she might not like him but the people she loves does.

I did like that she resolved her issues with feysand without having to directly apologize to him or feyre, and she has Rhys kneeling and at the palm of her hand by the end of it, coz it’s not about Rhys it’s about the people they both love needing them to get over whatever it is they hate about each other.

While she did give back what she took from the cauldron, the mother still let her keep enough of it that she could still easily handle the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter rip off). So that still makes her more powerful than most if not all of IC. She is still a death goddess who chose life.

I deserved to see their mating ceremony tho, like we couldn’t have an epilogue or one more chapter to show that

LOVED: nesta, the house, emerie, Cassian, Azriel, Gwynn

HATED: Elain, Amren, Mor, Rhys, Feyre, the tacky river house

DIDNT CARE: Lucien, Eris, the human queen, koschei, honestly the villains were bland I couldn’t care about the threat they posed, they were merely plot devices

#acosf #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acosf spoilers

[louiseleblancdiggory]

Congratulations on 900 followers 💥💥"It makes me feel sick to my stomach listening to you coo over your new partner. And the worst part is that I have to smile and nod like it’s not killing me inside. " Can you please do this for nessian??? Please give it a happy ending please���️

Aaah thank you!! I don’t know if this was the scenario you were thinking of, and if it isn’t just tell me and I can write something new. I’m sorry if it’s too long. I hope you like, tho!!

Word Count: 1688

New partner

--

This was Hell.

Or if it wasn’t Hell, if it was maybe a cosmic joke, the universe had a shitty sense of humor.

It was definitely a slap to her face.

Nesta Archeron was gripping her glass of whiskey so tightly in her hand that she was afraid it would break. Which would be terrible because it would cause her sisters to actually stop and pay attention to her. Today was Feyre’s day and Nesta didn’t want to ruin her sister’s dinner rehearsal by shattering a glass with her bare hands, but it was near impossible to let go of the only thing that was stopping her from strutting across the ballroom and attacking Cassian.

“I can’t believe he was the audacity.” Amren murmured by her side. Her mouth was against her glass of wine but her eyes were also fixated on Cassian. “Asshole. I can’t believe he brought someone else to Feyre and Rhysand’s rehearsal dinner for the wedding. How much of an idiot do you need to be?”

Nesta didn’t reply, just watched the scene from across the ballroom.

Five years. They had been together for five years, known each other for five more and it had taken him three weeks to get over their break up. The thought made her blood boil, as did the sign of Cassian’s hand on the back of a pretty redhead. She was smiling up at him in such a free way that Nesta knew she had never done so in public. It had never been a problem, Cassian had always known that Nesta preferred to keep it to their privacy. It had never been a problem until it had.

The fight still replayed in her head, over and over again for the past three weeks.

“Why are you like this?” By this point, it was almost a competition of who could scream the loudest. “Why can’t you just fucking give a little sometimes? I’m not fucking asking you to completely change, Nesta, but it’s so tiring being the one always accepting shit in this relationship.”

“Fuck off.” She spat, her face probably red with rage. “Why the fuck do you care if I am all smiles and happiness around other people? Why the fuck does it matter what other people think of me, of our relationship?”

“This is not what this is about.”

“This is exactly what this is about, Cass.”

“They are my friends!”

“I’m your fiancé!”

“At the moment this is an unfortunate fact!” As soon as the words left his mouth, his eyes widened. He took a step forward, but Nesta held up a hand. She had no idea how it wasn’t trembling. They were different, she had always known that, and there were no chances of either of them changing and that had been ok for their whole relationship. Part of her always imagined when Cassian would tire of her cold behavior and move on, but most of that fear had gone away when he proposed a few weeks before.

Nesta had never had her heart broken before, but she could swear she heard it breaking that moment. Heard it breaking while she pulled the engagement ring out of her finger and there it at his chest. The ring fell to the ground with a too loud thud.

“Why don’t we change that fact then, Cassian?” Her throat tightened. “It’s over. I’m tired. Go find someone else to scream at, someone else to be your fucking ray of sunshine whenever you guys go out. If you want someone so different from me, I won’t stop you.”

He tried to say something, tried to call her back but she was already at the door grabbing her car keys.

She could still hear her heart breaking.

Her mind snapped back to the present the moment she heard the thunder. She finally tore her eyes from Cassian and looked around the ballroom. Feyre was beaming at Rhysand, both of them lost in their little world. Elain was sitting with Azriel’s arm around her, both of them speaking to Mor. As if she could sense Nesta’s gaze, Mor turned around and looked at her. She glanced at Cassian before turning to Nesta again, giving her a shake of head that left very clear that Mor agreed with Amren.

When Varian came back to Amen’s side, Nesta insisted that they could go have fun and that she was ok. She was the one who ended things. She was fine. She was fine. She was fine.

She kept repeating it as they left to the dance floor, kept repeating it as she drowned her whiskey and finally let go of the glass. She only stopped repeating it when she looked at Cass again and saw him bending down to whisper something in the girl’s ear.

Nesta’s cheeks burned, her heart beating way too loudly in her chest. Suddenly tired, she grabbed her purse and started leaving. The rehearsal was over, and the hotel was on the other side of the street. If Feyre asked for her, both Mor and Amren would probably know that she went to her room and why.

The moment she stepped outside of the ballroom, she was completely wet from the rain. Not having the patience to wait for it to get better, she ducked her head and made to cross the street.

“So you’re just gonna fucking leave your sister’s dinner?” A man’s voice came from behind her. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, not turning around. “You’re just running away again.”

At that, she spun in his direction, his eyes burning like hot coals. “Go to Hell, Cassian.”

“Isn’t running the best you can do?” He was angry. He was furious by the look on his face. Good, she was too.

“What the fuck do you want, Cass? Do you want me to sit down inside and act like a behaved, proper lady? To be sitting quiet so you can feel as if I’m not running away from you again? To see you whisper sweet nothings in the ear of other women? To admit I shoudl change so you can feel good about yourself?”

“I never wanted you to change.” He shouted, spreading his arms. “And I still don’t. What I want is for you to talk to me, Ness. You left three weeks ago and ignored my phone calls, messages and I had to know through Amren and Mor how you were doing! So can you just fucking talk to me—“

“You want me to talk?” She laughed humorlessly. “Let’s talk. Let’s talk about how I always felt as if you were a step away from giving up on me because of my personality, and then three weeks ago it was exactly what you did!”

“I never gave up on you, I tried to talk to you every damn day for three weeks!”

She barely heard his words, her blood roaring at her ears.

“Let’s talk about how you showed up with someone else today and how it felt like a slap. How it makes me feel sick to my stomach listening to you coo over your new partner. And the worst part is that I have to smile and nod like it’s not killing me inside. This dinner was fucking torture. Hearing the two of you talk and laugh was fucking torture. Smiling like I was fine so there wouldn’t be awkwardness during the dinner was fucking torture. So if you really want to talk, Cass, start with how you broke my heart three weeks ago and did it again tonight.”

Her chest was rising and falling heavily, her throat sore. Even under the cold rain, she could feel her cheeks flaming up in shame. She was never an opened person about her feelings, and now she had laid them bare to her ex-fiance in the middle of the street. His eyes calmed down, and she wanted to tear him to shreds from the emotion she saw in his face.

As if approaching a wild animal, Cassian walked up to her until she had to tilt her head back and stare at him. He gently cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing hair strands away from her cheek.

“She’s a colleague from work. She would have come nonetheless, and I just offered her a ride. Feyre’s planner must have thought it was something else because before the rehearsal started, he added a place for her at our table.” He breathed out, his face framed with his sodden hair. He lowered his forehead until it almost touched hers, as if he was afraid that completely touching it would cause her to run away. “I didn’t want her to feel strange, and the only other person she knew in that table was Rhys and he was just too lost on Feyre. Mor and Amren looked ready to eviscerate me. I didn’t want to talk to you in front to everyone, did not want to have this conversation with them around. I am so sorry, baby, if I made you think I was with her. I could never be with her. I’ve known you for ten years, Nesta Archeron, and it would probably take ten times that for me to get over you. I don’t want you to change, and I am so sorry that I made you feel as you needed to. You are the fiercest, most perfect person I have ever had the luck of meeting. You were perfect ten years ago when we met, five years ago when we started dating and you are still perfect today. I loved you ten years ago, five years ago and I still do today.”

She was glad for the rain so Cassian couldn’t see her face soaked with her tears. Slowly, she raised herself on her tiptoes and pressed her mouth to his. Her hands sneaked up to the back of his neck, and the hands he had on her face went to her waist so he could pull her closer. Kissing Cassian after three weeks was like finally breathing after almost drowning. He was the focus of her entire being right now, and the world could fall apart as long as she had her body pressed against his, mouth in his as he extracted breathless moans and whimpers from her.

He only let go long enough for him to take something out of his pocket and show it to her. Their engagement ring, the red siphon bright against the streetlamps.

“Can we please talk, sweetheart?”

She kissed him once more as she nodded, and he sighed in relief as he put the ring back into her finger.

#900 mardu #nessian #nessian au #nessian oneshot #nessian fanfic #mardu writes #answered #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruins #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta x cassian

[fandomtrxsh19]

So, when I read ACOSF, I made kind of play by play notes as a listened to it( I read the audiobook) so.........here’s the chaos

HEAVY SPOILERS FOR ACOSF!!

CASSIAN SAID FUCK

WHOA there’s a LOT of swearing in this

“It’s SEVEN in the morning gods damn it” -nesta archeron

OVERSIZED SHIRTS FOR THE WIN

Feyre and Rhys have 5 houses? Not surprised...

full, inviting breasts......BIG BOOBS OMG CASSIAN YOU HORNY SON OF A BITCH

7 siphons to keep his magic under control? Dayum

So, she rode this unnamed male like a fucking roller coaster?

Depression sex? Depression sex

“Her father was ashes in the wind” DAMN THATS EDGY

“A moment of release among the darkness inside her” NESTA BBY THIS ISNT HEATHY

“She avoided both of them” not surprised

OOOOH RHYS HATES HER TEA IS BEING SPILT

So, depression sex and depression alcohol? Yup

*checks chapter count* 80 CHAPTERS??!?! Oh shit this is gonna be a triiiip

OOOOOOOOO RHYS AND NESTA BEEF

Feyre trying to apologize to nesta........she’s trying

“You’re done, Nesta” The fuuuuuck.....

So, nesta’s moving and training with cassian...........Feyre, this isn’t a good idea omg

Feyre holy shit what the fuck are you doing, you TOTAL HELICOPTER SISTER?

“I never want to speak to you again!” damn

ELAIN TRAUMA!!! Yay???

MOR FOCUSED CHAPTER!!!?

she has brown eyes? Ok

FUCK SHES WEARING A BLUE DRESS FUCK

nesta knows about mor NESTA KNOWS ABOUT MOR!!!

“I am worthless and I am nothing. I hate what I am.” DAYUM I’ve been in that exact mindset numerous times. I can relate, Nesta

Briallen? Who the fuck is that?

Scars being trapped in magic? Good fuck that’s dark

“Ooh a dark skin character? Lit

OH SHIT SHE CANT FLY HER WINGS ARE CLIPPED

Is her name Emery?

“I am the monster your fear” BBY OMG GET THERAPY

Gwyn? Seems a bit aloof

“Two gentle conversations” GOOD JOB

Fairy lights omg lol

Nesta reading smutty books.....I’m imagining this omg

THE HOUSE IS ALIVE? Sweet

OMG ELAIN SHIT!!!! BBY

“All she wanted to do was touch him” OOOOOHHHHH NESSIAN

“All I need is a hot meal and a good book.” Mood

Nesta’s worried about Mor??? REEEEEEE

“Nesta needed Feyre more than she realized.“ OOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOO FAE BARGANS

They’re bound by magic on the body?? Ooh

IT’S TRAINING TIME BITCHES

“I don’t hate you too,Cassian” OMGGGGGG REEEEE

Nesta SMILED

THEY MENTIONED VALKYRIES!!!!!

“You might be my only friend.” HMMMMMMM

*hears how cassian was born * OMG HOLY SHIT CASSIAN

*hears cassians backstory* DAMN THESE CHARACTERS NEED THERAPY

OOP SLIGHT DEPRESSION SEX

OOP CLOTHING REMOVAL

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I held you in my arms.” HMMMMMMMM

I’m loving this Nessian sparring training.

ELAIN! SHES IN THE STORY KIND OF

Elain has small boobs........same

“I thought I would drop by to see how you were doing.” AWWWWWWWWW

Yayy.....awkward sister talks........

“She was the monster.” Nesta.............I can relate.

Nesta’s angry at Elain.............

Elain’s trying to reach out and Nesta’s denying it.

MY HEART

AGAIN...THE👏RA👏PY👏

“No more seeing her sisters without her permisson.” That’s smart.

Soooooooooo......Rhys is now a German Shepard.........?

OMG CASSIAN KILLED EVERYONE THAT HELPED KILL HIS MOM........good for him

“Use that training and make me.” OOOOOOOMGGGGGG

Rhys is overprotective of Feyre and shields her......daaaaaaaaaaaaamn

“What exactly happened in the cauldron?” FEYRE BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

Again, Nesta, ✨THERAPY✨

Put a stop to what, D-does the IC know of the ✨depression smut?✨

“There was touching, but with her permission” WE 👏STAN 👏A KING👏

THAT ASKS👏FOR👏CON👏SENT👏

“Who do you think I am?” “A drunk fool who’s wasting my time?” OOOOOOOHHHHH SHOOTS FIRED!!!

Emery and Nesta to Emery’s cousin: GO HOME YOUR DRUNK ASSHOLE

*hears Nesta’s grand✨mama✨* me: grandmama, it’s me....ANASTASIA

Bruh...NESTA BIT CASS’S EAR

ugh the tool

“Baby making” hehe lol

“Nesta like gwyn”...............could she also be biiiiiiiii??????????!!!!!! YAY FIRST FRIEND IM PROUD OF YOUUUUU

NESTA SMILES AGAIN YAY!!

Alright, Meryl is BITCH

GWYN’S A QUARTER NYMPH?? Cool

“She’s failed everything.” BBY

HER POWERS? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT SILVER FLAMES

ICY FIRE??? FUUUUUUUUUCK

Nesta must’ve been petrified being surrounded by fire

It’s a dream? THE FUCK

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT SHE WAS DREAMING????

Cassian saw HER TRAUMA?????? FUUUUUUCK

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HER POWER IS DEAAAAATHH FUUUUUUCK

THE BABY HAS WIIIIINGS!!!!!!

Why is Rhys angry about the wing thing?

Ohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiit the tool

*hearing the possibilities of half Illyrian baby* OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH FUUUUUCK OMG

“I loved it when you fucked my mouth cassian?” GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH NEEESTAAAAA THIS ISNT HEALTHY

“What could go wrong?” DONT JINX IT

fairy monsters? OHOHOHOOOO

NONONONOOOOOO NOT AN ASH ARROW

BLACK EYES???? Fuck fuck are they in the cauldron?

OMG THE KELPIE IS DOING SHIT TO NESTA!!! Are they on the cauldron?

the MAAAAAAASK

ohOOOOOOOMGOMGOMGOMG SHE SUMMONED THE FUCKING DEAD REEEEEEEEEEE

Omg NESTAS POWERS ARE SO FUCKING COOL

She LITERALLY HAS AN UNDEAD ARMYYYYY

death HERself........badass

“Because you and cassian has been giving each other sultry looks all morning” SHE KNOWS

“For the first time in her life, she finally felt good in her own skin.” GROWTH

Omg Nesta created a swooooord!!!!! Cool

ITS INFUSED WITH MAGIC??? HELL YEAH

“I can’t lie to her!” SIIIIIIIMP

“I’d be careful when fucking her.” Oh amren

FUUUUUUCK FUCK BOOOOOOOOO TAMLIN

“You will not touch us.” YES TELL HIM

“I can’t believe Feyre ever loved tamlin.” ME TOO

“Elain saw everything Nesta did.” Daaaaaaaaamn

OOOOOOOO NESTAS PIIIIIIIISSED

OOOOOOOOOOO SECRETS FEYRE’S PIIIIIIISED

Nesta messed up and I think she realizes that

Rhys is pissed now and wants to kill Nesta....SHIIIIIIIT

Nesta: heads for a tavern me: NONONONONO GODS DAMN IT YOU’VE COME SO FAR

“I will fight for him. For us. Until I can’t anymore.” FEYRE IS GONNA BE A GREAT MOM

“Wishing to disappear into nothing.” I’ve been there.

“Cassian knew Nesta hated herself, but didn’t know how sometimes she wanted to unexist.” I RELATE TO THAT SHIT

“She had been born wrong.” AWWWWW BBY SHIIIIIT

“Was she worth being counted?” I CAN RELATE

*hearing Nesta blaming herself for her fathers death and for the horrible things she’s done, saying she can’t fix it* SHIT IM CRYING (I’m not joking)

“ I deserve nothing.” I CAN RELATE BITCH IM ACTUALLY CRYING

*hears Cassian calmly reassuring and comforting her* AWWWWW I NEED THIS QUOTE

CASSIAN CARES SO MUCH FOR HER I LOVE THIS

(I really needed that cassian talk. I literally wrote most of the quote down just in case. Thank you SJM)

EMERY CAN SENSE THE SEX HOLY SHIT

“After he’d fucked her with her fingers...” O NONONONOOO

*skips to chapter 52*

Lanthis??? Who the fuck is that?

“Gwyn and Emery are my friends” SHES GROWN SO MUCH!!!

26 dimensions? OH THIS IS SOME DOCTOR STRANGE SHIT

IT CANT BE KILLED

cassian and Nesta really went *yeet* .......... I’m sorry

THE SWORDS NAME IS ADORAXIA!!!!!!!!!!!sounds like a dnd character IDEAS

OHOHOHOOOOO BLACK THRONE AND A CROWN DEATH QUEEN NESTA WITH HER HAIR DOOOOOOWN

Rhys vs Cassian standoff *western duel music starts*

NESTA APOLOGIZED FOR EARLIER IM SO PROUD

Did Elain have a vision? DID SHE???

“I want you to seduce him.” NESTA THE HIDDEN BARD ROLL FOR PERSUASION

Mor teaching Nesta the waltz? NESTA AND MOR CAN NOT HATE EACH OTHER

Are they back at their childhood home? Because oooooooooooof ✨ childhood trauma✨

MOR AND NESTA HAVING A CONVERSATION YAY!!!!! (This’ll make rping them so maybe easier)

“We’re in a book!” Holy shit they know. HIDE THE FANFICTION

The relationship between Nesta, Emery, and Gwyn is so wholesome

“Oh FUCK you” .... NESTA

“I was just checking on dessert” MOOD

MOR AND NESTA ARE HAVING A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION

I sense tension between amren and Nesta

ERIS WANTS NESTA????

“I’m not with you.” Lier

A SNOWBALL FIGHT WITH THE BATBOIS??? Holy shit they do have one(1) brain cell

A sleepover with Emery, Nesta, and Gwyn? SIGN ME UP

“Do it for the miniature Pegasus!” INSIDE JOKES

OOOOHHH i see the gwynriel ship

Wait....HER POWERS MADE THE HOUSE BE ALIVE??? Sweet

Alright 2 months til FEYSAND baby

The mating bond between cassian and Nesta?????.............

“Say it, SAY IT” GODS DAMN IT NESTA SAY THE FUCKING THING

So, Nesta’s afraid she’s gonna loose her humanity?

EMERIE NESTA AND GWYN ARE IN THE BLOODRITE? Fuuuuuuuuuck

OH NO EMERIE!!!!!!

“High Fae bitch” PUT THAT ON A SHIRT

OMG OMG OMG HELL YES VALKRIES

oh Cassian you restless bastard you

*hears Emerie’s backstory and their heart to heart* AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM

“The morrigan.” The fuck Eris?

“She’d hit the archway of stone” OOOOOOOOOOF

“For being my friends when I didn’t deserve it.” AWWWWWWWWWW

What about Feyre’s pregnancy???? Hewwo?

“Lord of bastards” heh true that’s cassian alright

Wait, OTHER set of wings

CASSIAN!!!!!!!!!!

“Now, I’m going to slit your little throat.” FUUUUUUUUCK NONONONOOOOO THIS ISNT CASS FUUUUCK

What’s the trove?

NONONONONOOOO WHYD HE GET STABBED SHIT HE GOT STABBED

Nesta’s pissed.....MAGIC TIME

wait wait wait wait wait HES NOT STABBED HELL YEAH!!!!

“You are my mate, Cassian.” ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Nessian: kissing when the world is in ruin

“She started bleeding hours ago. “ BABY TIME???

*hears the blood and feyre’s appearance*!FUUUUUUUUUCK

So, no C section? OOOOOOH SHIT THEYRE DOING IT

IM SCARED IM SCARED IM SCARED

“Silent babe?” Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Nesta Nesta Nesta What the fuck are you doing???????? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

SHE HAS ALL 3! ONONONOOOOOFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOSHE PLUCKED IT FUCK

SHE STOPPED TIME?????????

WHOS the female voice?

“ I love you, Feyre” SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD!!!!!

What is she doing what is she doing what is she doiiiiingggg?

GIVE WHAT BACK?????

WHAAAAAT? A BARGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CAULDRON???

feyres alive? FEYRE’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

NESTA THE MVP!!!!

*the sister hug* AWWWWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWW I LOVE THE NAME NYX!!!!

How much did the Cauldron take from Nesta, tho?

FEYSAND IS BEST PARENTS

Alright, I want to see LOADS OF WHOLESOME FANFICS AND FANART ABOUT DOMESTIC IC AND ELAIN AND NESTA GOT IT?

#acotar #acowar #acofas #acomaf #acosf #acosf spoilers #feyre archeron #elain archeron #nesta archeron #rhysand acotar #cassian acotar #azriel acotar #morrigan acotar #mor acotar #amren acotar #gwyneth berdara #emerie acotar

[julemmaes]

Pinky Promise - Chapter One

A/N: It’s currently midnight here and believe me when I tell you my brain is fried right now. I just wanted to finish this and post it. The real story starts with the next chapter and here we have a little more info dump cause yeah. Hope yall enjoy!

Fic Masterlist

Word count: 3,802

Rhysand had to stop by his house for a short break to change and take off that uncomfortable shirt he was always complaining about. Cassian had tried to tell him several times that being an elementary school teacher he could dress as he wanted and no one would ever tell him anything, but the youngest of the brothers didn't seem to get the message.

While they were waiting for him, Cassian had tried to start a conversation with the other two, but both had answered monosyllables and he had enough problems of his own without getting involved in whatever had happened between Elain and Azriel.

Despite all this, when they got to the Archeron house, the older had a lopsided smile on his face. The smile widened even more when they entered the apartment and saw his cousin gobbling a cracker with some cheese on it. Morrigan got up in a flash and went to greet them.

"Took you long enough." said the blonde, "We were waiting for you."

Cassian snorted, taking off his shoes and jacket so as not to wet every surface of the house, "I can tell."

"Don't be an asshole." he heard from the kitchen, Amren. She was also sitting at the kitchen table, where Nesta was chopping parsley and eating strangely long, fried things.

His girlfriend looked up at him and smiled. She had to be feeling better because she had a much more relaxed expression on her face than only an hour or so before.

He approached the table, followed by Rhys who was staring with a confused look at whatever that strange food was in front of their friend.

"What the hell is that?" Azriel asked once he had freed himself from Mor's hug.

Amren arched an eyebrow, taking another fried thing and eating it whole, "Frog legs."

Cassian, who was about to kiss Nesta, stopped, looking at her in shock, "Sorry, what?"

"Yeah, a new French restaurant opened on my street and I've been getting the weirdest stuff for a couple of weeks," said Amren smiling. "I even tasted the snails last Monday." the guys all seemed shocked.

Nesta made a confused grimace, "Actually they're not as bad as you'd think, they taste a lot like chicken."

"I'm not sure I want to kiss you anymore," murmured Cassian as he walked away slightly from the girl. Rhysand nodded beside him, pouring himself a glass of wine and passing one to Azriel.

"Oh, stop being a baby, it's just food." Amren muttered, casting a hard look at him.

He kissed Nesta on the cheek anyway while she finished cutting the onions and poured everything into a pot. The smell of meat that came out was enough to make Cassian fall in love a little more.

"I'm gonna go change," announced Elain, who had been particularly quiet the whole time.

Nesta lifted her head, looking in her sister's direction, who was already in the hallway, "Did you get my stuff?" she asked loudly.

Elain's reply didn't take long to come, "Yes, I'll bring it to your room."

Nesta shook her head, even though she couldn't see her, "No don't worry, I'll take care of it, just leave it in your room." a faint okay came from the other room and then the conversation resumed.

"One very important thing before I forget, next week Manon should come here," said Mor, clutching her shoulders, "I'd like to arrange a little something at my house, with everyone. If that's alright with you," she hesitantly concluded.

Mor and Manon had met that summer when the former went on vacation to the other continent alone. She'd stayed in Erilea for almost two whole months, going from city to city and stopping only when she deemed it necessary. Once she reached Orynth she immediately made friends with a large group of people there and when they introduced her to Manon it was hate at first sight.

More than hate, actually, Morrigan felt awkward.

Manon stared at her with that seductive look of hers that she couldn't really decipher and only when the other one had explicitly told her that hes was flirting with her, Mor understood that she could enjoy that vacation and have a summer fling with the white-haired goddess. One thing led to another and they ended up getting together at the end of August and after only a month of relationship no one had had the chance to meet her yet.

"Finally we get to know her." smiled Amren.

Cassian took a beer from the fridge and put two more on the table in case someone else wanted more than wine. "Where did you say she studies?" she asked for what was probably the millionth time.

"Oh, she attends the Academy of Fine Arts in Adarlan. Rifthold precisely." said proud Mor, smiling.

"Does she study art like Feyre?" Rhysand asked, taking another cracker and putting a slice of salami on it. Cassian saw Nesta shake her head in disbelief and had to hold back a laugh. It was impressive how he managed to squeeze Feyre into his every conversation.

Mor didn't give it much thought anyway, "Nono, she dances. She studies ballet. She has a- I always forget what they are called, but she has a group, with whom she always dances. They call themselves the Thirteen," she continued nodding, "They also have a channel on You Tube, if you're interested."

Elain walked into the kitchen at that moment, wearing only a pair of pajama pants and a VHS lacrosse team sweatshirt, with the name Vanserra on its back. She took a beer from the table, opened it and drained half of it in one long sip. She made a disgusted face and then took one of the fried frog's legs off Amren's plate, who was looking at her alarmed.

Nesta gave him a confused look, mentally asking him what had happened on the way here, Cassian shrugged.

"Hey Ellie everything's alright?" asked the older sister, turning off the stove.

Elain nodded, helping her set the table while everyone took their seat. "Everything's perfect."

Azriel laughed, not even looking at the girl, "As always." Elain's head snapped in his direction.

Elain gritted her teeth, "Maybe you should learn to mind your own business."

"And you should learn what self love is and stop letting others treat you like that," Azriel said to her in an equally harsh tone.

Cassian understood then, Lucien was involved.

Nesta sighed, placing both hands on the table and bowing her head, "Can we please have one dinner without arguing?" Elain sat down with abrupt gestures and nodded, apologizing. Azriel seemed to think about it for a second, looking at the middle sister, nodding in turn and sitting next to Rhysand.

They ate quietly between jokes, and the tense atmosphere that had created immediately dissolved. Elain and Azriel bickered so often that the group was used to it and they'd become good at pretending nothing had happened.

***

Nesta was sitting on the floor next to Cassian, practically lying on top of him, while he kept his arm around her waist. Whatever Morrigan was explaining she couldn't understand. Her brain was already clouded by alcohol. They had just finished the first game of the evening and she couldn't figure out how they were all still relatively sober after all the alcohol they had ingested. Or maybe it was just her impression and in reality they were all wasted.

She looked up at her boyfriend and put her hand on his cheek, making him turn towards her. Cassian smiled at her and gave her a peck. When she kept looking him in the eyes even after they had parted, he raised an eyebrow. What is it?

Nesta shrugged and kept following Mor's speech.

"And who draws the last king drinks the whole cup, got it?" the blonde looked around the room trying to figure out if everyone understood at least one word of what she had just said. Nesta took a sip from her glass and Mor groaned, "Come on Nesta, you don't have to drink now."

Azriel chuckled, almost as drunk as she was, "Stupid drunk."

"Fuck you, Az." she giggled, clinging closer to Cassian.

Elain nodded, raising her drink to the ceiling, "Yes, fuck you Az." she hiccupped and smiled in her best friend's direction, who gave her the middle finger. They all burst out laughing, knowing perfectly well that there was no grudge in those gestures.

She couldn't follow the game properly, but someone had just drawn a seven and Nesta knew that she had to raise her arms to the sky before the others or she would have to drink again, and although this evening was putting her in a good mood, she wasn't sure that her head would thank her in the morning. Elain ended up drinking.

When it was her turn, Nesta drew a nine and thanked every god present in that moment because if she had to find a rhyme for anything the others would say, she would surely throw up from the effort.

"I picked a nine," she said giggling, falling on Cassian, who laughed and helped her up, "and since I'm feeling rather nice tonight, I'll say orange," she slurred.

"You don't play like that," said Amren annoyed beside her, taking a sip from her soft drink. It was her turn to take everyone home that night.

Mor nodded, agreeing with the girl, "You can't take the one word that doesn't rhyme with anything."

Rhysand cleared his voice, "Sporange." he said at the same time that Elain screamed the same word. The boy brought his hand to his chest, opening his mouth wide, "I said it first."

Elain shook her head, pulling herself up and bending her legs underneath her, "No. That's not true." she said snickering, "I said it first."

Cassian burst out laughing, making Nesta's back flutter. She looked at him and winked, nothing sexy in that gesture at all and it only made the boy laugh more.

"Azriel tell him that I said it first." the girl complained, pouting. "Cassian tell him too."

"Nah ha, you have your family, they're with me." said Rhysand, getting up and staggering until he was between his two brothers. He circled both their shoulders and slapped Nesta in the face unintentionally.

"Ouch." she mumbled, pulling herself up and rubbing her nose.

Elain seemed on the verge of tears, "It's not right. I was faster than you." she practically screamed, "And I only have one sister here, it isn't fair."

Rhysand shrugged, "That's not my problem."

Their little argument went on for a few minutes before the boy surrendered and admitted that she was the one who said the word first, "But only because you don't have enough sisters for backup, otherwise we'd solve it physically," he concluded, winking at her. Elain giggled and Azriel muttered something about the physical part of the hypothetical fight that made Cassian laugh.

They all turned towards the entry of the apartment when they heard the door open.

"Speak of the devil," said Mor with a smile, "Feyruuh! Join us."

Rhysand had stood up and was smiling like an idiot, "Yes Fey-Fey join us," he repeated, approaching the small threshold.

Nesta saw the boy stiffening and immediately realized that something was wrong. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Feyre," breathed Rhysand, "what happened?

From where she was sitting she couldn't see the hall, but even Amren, who had a perfect view of the whole room, had a hard look on her face. Perhaps she should have stood up.

The alcohol in her body did not allow her to stand up without the risk of falling. It was already much that she hadn't blacked out.

"Nothing, don't worry," said her sister, finally entering the room. Nesta could see her face and understood what Rhysand was referring to. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot. She had been crying.

"Feyre..." she said, trying to pull herself up with Cassian's help.

Her younger sister raised her hand to stop her, "I didn't want to ruin your evening, I just came to say hi." she gave everyone a faint smile. Rhysand, next to her, held his breath. He suddenly seemed much more sober, more aware of what was happening. "I'm sorry... goodnight everyone." with this she turned around and walked out of the room. Mor moved to get up, but Amren placed her hand on her leg to stop her.

Elain was the first to break the silence, "That piece of shit." Nesta gasped hearing how much anger she uttered those words with. She turned towards her sister and before she could ask her, she had already started talking again, "I can't believe it." she stood up, swaying too much and falling on her knees.

Mor was immediately beside her, "Be careful."

"It's alright." she ran her hand over her legs and then looked towards Feyre's room sighing.

"Can someone explain what the heck just happened and why no one is going to see how she's doing?" asked Amren slightly annoyed. Rhysand was out of the living room before she could finish the sentence.

They all turned to Elain, who seemed to be thinking about what to say.

"I'm too drunk for this," whispered Nesta, massaging her temples, "Ellie can you please tell me if this is a life-or-death issue?" she asked again. She felt a hand on the small of her back and turned to Cassian, who looked at her with a sad smile on his lips.

Elain laughed without amusement, "No, of course she's not dying, it's always the same old arguments with Tamlin. She should just break up with him," replied Elain surprising everyone. It was very rare that her sister said something so sincere when it came to Tamlin. The only times she had done so she had risked ruining her relationship with Lucien.

"I don't think I should tell you the details, it's her business and I'm not here to gossip," said Elain after a few minutes in which everyone had started to clean up the mess they'd made, "All you need to know is that Tamlin is a piece of shit," she whispered the last part, as if she was afraid her boyfriend might hear her.

"Nothing new." Amren said, getting up and starting to pick up the cups scattered around the room.

They heard Feyre yelling something, but Nesta couldn't understand just what she said. They waited a few seconds, to see if they needed to intervene or not, when they heard nothing more Azriel spoke.

"Do you think we should tell her something?" he asked again, still sitting on the floor, tilting his head back so that it was resting on the couch. "I mean, it's already been a few weeks since I've seen her cheerful, I'm getting worried."

Nesta was surprised. It was nice to see how much Azriel cared for the youngest of them. Of course, she knew it was true, but it was rare for the boy to express his feelings so openly.

Cassian shook his head, reducing his lips to a thin line, "Not tonight," he said as he looked down the hall, "She's probably insulting Rhys in every possible way now. I guess it's a good way to cool off," he added when they heard Feyre screaming again. Rhysand answered equally loudly.

"Maybe we should get Rhys out, he is drunk after all," Azriel said standing up. Nesta did the same, following him into the corridor.

"They know that Rhys would never lay a hand on Feyre, don't they? Even if he is drunk. And angry." whispered Elain, even though they all heard very well. Nesta giggled and Azriel shook his head smiling. She was so drunk.

Cassian answered her, "No Ellie, it's not that. It's that drunk people tend to say things they don't really mean." they heard a whisper of agreement.

Azriel was about to knock on the door, Nesta right behind him, when it opened wide and Rhysand rushed out, shoving his older brother aside. Nesta couldn't see his face, but he must have been pretty upset because Azriel followed him right out of the apartment.

Nesta blinked a couple of times and then turned to her sister, who was pacing back and forth with her hands in her hair.

"Fuck!" cried Feyre. Nesta entered the room, closing the door behind her.

Feyre looked at her and grimaced, "What? Did you also come to tell me how to live?"

Nesta shook her head, crossing her arms, "I gotta be honest with you, I'm really drunk right now, so I'm struggling a little bit to understand things, but if you want to talk to me, I'm always there. You know." she said to her, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Yes, yes. I know." Feyre murmured, "But right now I just want to sleep and be alone."

Nesta glanced at her and saw that she had mascara smeared on her cheeks. She had cried again.

They could not face this conversation now.

She sighed, "Alright, if you need anything call me, I'm sleeping at Cass's, but if you need anything I can be here in twenty minutes." she cautioned her as she got up. Before leaving, she turned to her sister and left a kiss on her forehead. "Don't worry, everything will work out. I'll be back for lunch, okay?"

Feyre frowned, "Why do you always treat me like a child?" she suddenly asked her.

Nesta was caught off guard, "What do you mean?"

"I'll be back for lunch. I can be here in twenty minutes," she said imitating her voice, "I don't need you to tell me your schedule, I can cook pasta, I can take care of myself." she pointed out, looking Nesta straight in the eye.

"I don't- Feyre, I was just letting you know that I'll eat at home, I wasn't implying anything. We live together, it seems normal to me to tell you about my movements," she replied, being defensive, "I didn't call you a child."

"Get out."

"Feyre-"

"I said get out." sobbed the sister, "Please."

Nesta tried to get closer when she saw that Feyre was crying again.

"Go away!" cried the other one. Nesta stiffened and nodded just once, saying goodnight and leaving the room.

Cassian was staring at her from down the hall with a worried look. Throwing a quick glance inside Elain's room, she saw that Amren and Mor were helping her change and would put her to bed before leaving, as often happened during these evenings.

She reached her boyfriend and when he hugged her, she let out a deep sigh, resting her head against Cassian's chest. "I'm sorry," he said, kissing her hair and holding her tight.

"Don't worry, we both know she's not mad at us. She better than anyone else." she looked up to him. Cassian moved a strand of hair from her eyes, placing it behind one ear. "Maybe we made a mistake, though, letting Rhysand talk to her."

Cassian chuckled, "Maybe." He leaned over her and brushed his lips against hers.

Nesta yawned in the kiss and they both laughed.

"Okay lovebirds, it's time to go home," announced Amren, putting on her shoes and helping Mor tie hers. The blonde was also in terrible condition.

Cassian broke the hug, but followed Nesta to her room while she changed and took things so she could change the next day, and then followed her to the bathroom, where she took extra tampons in case the ones at his house had finished. She strongly doubted it, as Cassian always worried about having an endless supply every time, but it was better to prevent.

"You're such a lost puppy." Mor laughed, looking at them, "Disgusting."

"You're just jealous cause you can't be with Manon every day," replied Azriel, walking back into the house at the right time, followed by a quiet Rhysand.

Mor poutted in a way that would make a three-year-old child look a saint and her eyes filled with tears. Amren threw her arms in the air, "Was that really necessary?" she asked exasperated, turning to Azriel, who apologized to her friend.

They all left the house, leaving the kitchen and living room relatively tidy, nothing an hungover Elain couldn't handle.

When they reached Morrigan's house, only Azriel and Amren went to escort the blonde home and make sure she went to bed.

Nesta took the opportunity to say a few words to Rhysand.

"It's not your fault if she reacted in that way," she said, placing her hand on his arm. God, the drunk Nesta was so affectionate. Rhysand looked at her with a wrinkled forehead.

"I know." he sighed, running a hand over his face and looking older than he actually was, "I just wish she understood how much she's worth. That Tamlin doesn't deserve her." he looked out the window, waiting to see the other two appear so he could get home as soon as possible and pass out in bed. "There may have been a moment in their relationship where things worked, but now it's getting too much."

"I agree." Nesta simply said. Rhysand didn't need her to comfort him, no. He needed Feyre to realize how much the situation she was in no longer benefited anyone.

***

Cassian slipped into bed next to Nesta and laid his arm around her waist, pushing her flat against him. She immediately relaxed and intertwined their fingers, carrying his hand on her belly. Cassian started massaging circles on her stomach, applying a little more pressure at the bottom to help her with the pain.

"Better?" he asked her, placing his head in the niche of her neck.

Nesta nodded, "Much better."

They spent a few minutes in silence like this. If he managed to tell her that he wanted to enlist, if he managed to confess to her his plans for the future and she accepted him, there would no longer be so many times when he would cuddle her. They would no longer be granted.

When Cassian was on the brink of falling asleep, with a thousand questions in his head, she asked him something.

"Hmm?"

"Tomorrow, you wanna go out for dinner with me?" she repeated, turning around so she faced him.

Cassian opened only one eye, "Like a date?" he asked, smiling tiredly.

"Sure, like a date." she answered him, tilting her chin up so that she could kiss him.

"Yes, I'll go out for dinner with you," he said returning the kiss.

"Perfect."

"I love you." he whispered to her, hugging her.

Nesta did not answer and Cassian fell asleep shortly after, dreaming of the day when he would make Nesta his wife.

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