#People I know in real life please don't perceive me

[exaltior-a]

Personally the amount of people who are either "Jake is a stupid himbo" or "Jake is actively malicious" blow my mind. No, Jake isn't stupid, and he's not evil. He's a sixteen year old who is implied to have a mental disability and/or brain damage (it's not exactly clear, Caliborn claims they have the same developmental disorder and Dirk iirc worries that Jake hit his head too much, I guess you can take either with a grain of salt but I digress), and has not had meaningful real life interactions with other human beings in years. He is in the wrong for his actions, but it feels. Purposefully ignorant to claim he's just stupid or just evil for them.

He's socially stunted. He wants to emulate heroes in movies but lacks self esteem and experience. If the alpha kids had enough time to be more fleshed out (and let's be real, if Hussie cared about Jake) this might have been explored more thoroughly. He'd never had the opportunity to learn how to cope with a relationship, how to communicate his needs, or understand that he can't control how other people perceive him like he can through a computer screen.

He doesn't know healthy boundaries because he's never had to use them, and this goes both ways (allowing his friends to sexualise him and treat him like an object, as well as constantly complaining about his relationship with Dirk to Jane) Like yeah he does run away instead of communicating with Dirk and yeah he does dump all his problems on Jane. I love Jane, but one of her problems is her bottling up her feelings and people pleasing until everything blows up. She should have told him off much sooner, and while he was being a dick, it was partly because she allowed him to feel like it was okay to do, since she never told him it wasn't after the first few times or when she was starting to get aggravated.

His problems with Dirk are a little more complicated because we're never actually shown their relationship or how it broke down, but from what we can gather, Jake felt overwhelmed by Dirk's intensity and decided to ignore him rather than tell him try and avoid confrontation but leading to Dirk being frustrated and breaking up with him. Dirk claims he feels like he bullied Jake into a relationship, and though I personally think that's him making it seem worse than it was, it does mean that Dirk probably was trying to go too fast. I've best heard it is Jake being an introvert pretending to be an extrovert.

This is not to say I don't think people can't dislike or even hate Jake, but it's like. Idk. Misinterpreting a character and disliking that version of them is a little redundant to me.

#homestuck #dirkjake #jake english #dirk strider #jane crocker #character meta #homestuck meta #this is kind of in response to those people in the “worst homestuck character” tourney lol #the notes on those posts are atrocious especially the ones about the alpha kids. especially roxy #god if you think roxy is a perfect sngel i assume you haven't read the comic #btw im not mad at the person running the polls or whatever for that they seem fairly chill #its just that homestuck fans are sometimes stupid #and lack reading comprehension and critical analysis #long post #ummm jake dislikers ur fine but please. be correct about him if you're going to not like him #ok bye lol

[frail-and-freakish]

today, april 11th, is the anniversary of Mel Baggs' death. Mel Baggs was one of the early founders of the neurodiversity movement and believed that no one was too disabled for human rights, something that modern nd movements fail to understand to this day. sie was so instrumental to my understanding of literally everything. sie died from medical ableism and neglect during the beginning of the pandemic. we would be nowhere fucking near where we are now without hir. i've decided to make a masterlist of some of my favorite posts of hirs, organized into different categories.

(some of these are listed in more than one category because they overlap so much)

here are some of the "essentials" (what you might have already read by hir/should read first):

hir memorial site hosted by ASAN:

In My Language

the oak manifesto

There is ableism at the heart of your oppression, no matter what your oppression might be

Getting The Truth Out (many pages, parody of bad autism awareness campaign called "getting the word out")

the meaning of self-advocacy

what makes institutions bad

aspie supremacy can kill

here are some of hir beautiful writings on perceiving/communicating with hir environment as an autistic person, and on communication in general:

up in the clouds and down in the valley: my richness and yours

distance underthought

the naked mechanisms of echolalia

empty mirrors and redwoods

the fireworks are interesting

hir tumblr tag #sensing (@withasmoothroundstone)

on personhood and who has the authority to take it away:

being an unperson

what it means to be real

empty mirrors and redwoods

on institutions and the I/DD service system:

caregiver abuse takes many forms

"i don't know that person's program"

what my home means to me

dd service system tag

god help the critic of the dawn: glamour and its fallout

what makes institutions bad

post on the JRC

outposts in our heads

on online social justice communities/their inaccessibility:

Your politics have a problem when they contradict the real-life experiences of the people they're supposed to be about.

politics, ethics and mental widgets

hir tumblr tags #outside the wall and #little packages (@withasmoothroundstone)

misc:

The Bones My Family Gave Me

Please violate only one stereotype at a time

My sort of people, just as real as theirs.

Reviving the concept of cousins

gender tag

this is hir poems and creative works:

this is hir writing on autistics.org:

may hir memory be a blessing/revolution.

#mel baggs #z”l #autism #actually autistic #autism acceptance month #autism awareness #disability #disability rights #disability justice #mushroom.txt #actuallydd #autism acceptance #actuallyautistic #tagging this in All The Tags so people see it #autism awareness month #autistic #autistic spectrum #autistic things #asd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #i/dd

[beevean]

I can't stop thinking about this morning's anon and some of their wording. "This was so scary to write because if any of my friends knew about this my life would be over".

It's short but I honestly felt so bad for them. They really don't need this on top of their other experiences. And what's worse, this is the common mentality now: I keep seeing, on Twitter and Tiktok screenshots, teenagers who genuinely ask if a ship they like is "proship", with the underlying message being "please don't bully me".

And listen to me. I am the most insecure bitch on the planet. I would literally eat my own hands with ketchup and mayonnaise rather than reveal my music tastes to other people. I've been endlessly mocked for my passions ever since I was a child - not bullied, but I've been told by parents and classmates that no one cares, or I'm too old for this, or I need to live in the modern world... long story short, to this day I do not want to be perceived. So I understand the feeling of "you will pry my true tastes from my cold dead hands". I am old enough to know these are irrational thoughts, but to this day I much prefer to keep things to myself.

So listen: you deserve friends who do not judge you.

Again:

You deserve friends who do not judge you.

It's one thing to prefer to keep your tastes private because you're a private person. That's fine! That is your right! But please, if you really think your friends will hate you because you happen to read Problematic™ fiction... no, that shouldn't happen. Especially not on the internet, where nobody should know about you as a person. Friends who do care about you would not think any less of you for something as common (yes it's common!) as enjoying some spicy stories. It is not a crime. It does not say anything about your morals. And it's even worse if you've already suffered in the past, but this goes for everyone.

I don't want to get into the whole pro/anti ship discourse because I am sick of how easily the internet twists the meaning of important words until discussions can't be had because the two factions are not even talking about the same thing anymore. I don't know anon's previous or current stance on shipping, what they meant by that comment, and again the wording worries me a little when combined with that other comment. I do have my thoughts about it that go beyond what "proship" means, and I'll summarize:

not only no one deserves harassment for what they ship, but the only thing you can judge from someone's writing is their writing level. Not their actual personality, not their experiences, and less of all their real-life morals.

Brand this backwards on your forehead and read that in the mirror everytime you wake up.

Anyway. I don't know if you'll read this, anon, but I really wish you all the best luck in the future. And I'm very glad that you approached me to tell me that - as sad as the circumstances are, and I'm sorry for being self-aggrandizing, your praise made my day :)

#important #vent #proship #i suppose this counts #i really do not want to use myself as an example because as i said i don't want to expose myself #but i am so fucking tired of this relentless bullying over something that at the end of the day is barely above the pettiest of ship wars

[plottwiststudios]

Furina Deserved More Empathy

Most of you are here because you dig my writing for "Women of Xal", but please bear with me on this: Furina is a worthy character to study, respect, and love. To me, she is Genshin Impact's best character, and certainly my favorite from the game.

But although her characterization was top tier, the characters and writing around Furina were just... so ugly to her in a few areas that I believe are worth talking about. Even if you think the Fontaine arc was perfect and beyond reproach with how Furina was handled at the end, please at least hear me out. I promise I do come with not only my empathetic insight, but a writer's with a keen eye for the unfair, as well. Everyone, strap in and click that spoiler line for more~

"But Furina is only human, isn't she? Even though she has had a long life, her mind is no stronger than that of any other ordinary human being. I cannot begin to fathom what she has had to endure. It must have been torture for her." - Neuvillette

This quote comes immediately after Neuvillette realizes that his partner in crime, Furina, has been playing a role of a god far outside of her true personality every (perceived) second of every day for 500 years without end. Fooling the world, and keeping the secret that she was a mere human was crucial. If she didn't, her nation would have met oblivion via drowning, according to an increasingly real prophecy. If you don't know the story/why, it's complicated, here's the cutscene. Collaborating with her divine 'half', she commits to this agonizingly long performance willingly by weighing her own happiness with the lives of the people. And does that take a toll on her?

Yes! It got bad enough to where she started crying without realizing she was -- in front of a citizen she of course had to deceive. She had to use her vast experience to play it off, and, well, you see how easily that citizen bought it, and you can see how Furina is handling that situation, even if you're not used to Genshin's models. What I'm trying to get at here is, Furina carried Fontaine's salvation on her back for 500 years. In complete secret and isolation. And as we are playing a video game, we naturally see to the finale of her 500 year performance...

By putting her on trial as a fraud god!

Now, although I felt grimy from the jump about the whole "Trick Furina into her own public trial", the plan itself is legitimately justified from the player / accusing party. She played her role too well, and now her own nation and allies think she's not taking the threat of her nation seriously. (The threat? Ironically the flooding she's trying to prevent) Her peers do know she's hiding something. So in a desperate gambit to get her to talk and hopefully give them something to stop the incoming flood, they trick her into arriving at her own trial. And, I believe my necessity, she is given more trauma for her troubles before this trial ends. You can watch it all here.

Even for players who didn't figure out Furina's big secret, this trial was BRUTAL to watch, and the fact the player character initiated it by trying promising Furina that her secret can be safe with the player -- WHILE the player was actively and secretly transporting Furina to her trial is just... cutthroat. Necessary given the lack of context (mostly), but cutthroat. I'm glad Furina considered her options with entrusting the player, but ultimately would have decided not to. Because we didn't deserve Furina's trust.

Long miserable story short? Furina is judged guilty and sentenced to death, but she doesn't care, because to her, she spent 500 years, only to think she "failed" and now everyone will drown and die. So she's left essentially dissociating with only tears to show consciousness. Longer story short? She didn't fail! Her trial was all part of the plan her divine half cooked up without telling her about the trial! To save the nation. (Prophecies, am I right?) And the nation is saved! All because Furina kept up the act for 500 years -- well past her emotional breaking point. Like, well, well, well past her breaking point.

Most importantly: Furina is free to be a regular human that no longer has to perform. She no longer has to rule as a god. So what's the first thing she hears from us? (Link for the conversation)

tldr: "We sure Kathryn gave us the right address we obtained without permission? Wow, Furina's living situation got a whole lot worse different after she stepped down from ruler."

If you're wondering if I skipped a few cutscenes covering how Furina got there and how she's doing, don't worry! Same here: After the story's climax, Neuvillette tells us that Furina steps down and numbly packed her bags and hecked off for peace and quiet. Did we ever VISIT this woman after asking her to trust us before destroying that request for trust? Did ANYONE besides Neuvillette give her an apology, or go out of their way to check in on her besides Clorinde? Am I supposed to assume that the same writers who keep doing insensitive things, has a staggering fear of dark skin, and seldom have enough courage to trust the audience, are expecting us to fill in the gaps of time with the most positive outcome that Furina was apologized to and supported off-screen? And hey, if you're on team "We had no choice, given the circumstance; no apologies needed", then look at it like a human, not (just) an apologist! If YOU underwent 500 years of never being you, but an exaggerated trope for the world, and at the end, that world temporarily rejects you in public, cutthroat fashion, is this how you would like to be treated?

An organization gave out your address to help the player

The player only visits you to help NPCs

Pressure you to perform yet again, this time for fun!!!

Express how your boundaries for no-acting actively hurt the NPCs

No noted thanks or conversation about your sacrifices

The writer to your life railroads you into feeling bad for boundaries

Someone dryly states, for her own reasons, that you were inactive

Made fun of for your lifestyle decisions post-freedom from acting

The writer of your life railroads you into singing for the NPCs

Some more I am probably going to regret not remembering

Even people who haven't played the game, but read this will note that something went amiss. One or two of these bullet points can be seen as fine or not-horrible when isolated, but literally all of this happened to Furina. Even if you want to say that all of these are properly addressed offscreen and not mentioned in the game, then what about the writer's desire to resonate with the audience?

To the writers of this game who obviously do not take words to heart: We resonate with Furina just fine. She's a beautifully written character and I have nothing but the fiercest of respect for her. But we don't resonate with how she was treated after her 500 years of torture ended. Not by the characters or writers. As writers, how did you WANT us to react to these insensitive scenes? Why? Did you think the lines of dialogue through from a humane angle, or were you stuck in the immediate present of writing a "funny"? Did you think about the cost of not letting the most tortured character in the country have any scenes after her trial until we're looking for her to help people we've never met before? Was the tonal whiplash wise in your eyes? Could you find no better way to get Furina comfortable to sing and get her vision? Why do I get the feeling that even an author with no experience might have known better than to do some of the things you decided to do to Furina? As writers, do you think everything I've stated is what she deserves, or even the natural course of events for a character as important and as good as Furina? Is that the extent of your writing prowess and creativity?

This is a story about a nation of justice. So where's Furina's justice?

#Genshin Impact #Furina #Fontaine #4.2 #neuvillette #At least her fellow Archons properly showed her the respect she deserves

[invpulse]

I haven't seen a lot of discussion about RSD when it comes to ADHD discussions, so I thought I would do the honors since it's been affecting me for many years and I'd like people to know more about it!

I have had a diagnosis for ADHD but was never told- instead learning I had autism through therapy but still having some behaviors that I could never explain that just Happened.

I learned I had ADHD over the summer, and with that, severe rejection sensitive dysphoria.

before reading, please keep in mind that this is mostly talking from personal experience and some skimmed research! not experiencing RSD doesn't mean you do/don't have ADHD, and it may not appear like how it appeared for me. I don't only have autism + adhd either, so those may also contribute to any differences! ^^

RSD is the immense emotional pain after being criticized, rejected, or even teased (ignore my misspell in the panel). This rejection can be real or perceived, and we react like this because it hurts.

The pain can manifest as aggression, bringing on symptoms of depression (thoughts of s/h, isolation, demotivation, etc) and anxiety/panic attacks.

it can cause physical aliments like the above. For me, it causes my heartrate to skyrocket, heart palpitations, the feeling of being in a crisis, and extreme shaking to occur along with stomach pain.

(In fact, right now I'm going through it because making a post talking about this, despite having & dealing with it, makes me scared of other's opinions on it.)

RSD can also take the form of avoiding situations, people, or conversations where rejection or criticism is very possible.

Like other types of dysphoria, it is out of our control and hard to manage. It can last from days to weeks to months, all depending on both the trigger* and the individual.

I had a RSD episode that was on-and-off for a little over a year or two; getting more tame and bearable as it slowly drifted and stopped haunting my mind with the incident.

Compared to the other times my RSD was set off, this moment was a rather big moment in my life and ended up permanently changing me moving forward - which can be the reason why it lasted so long.

Despite how unbearable it can get, there are some ways to cope with it & lessen the effect it has.

Communicate - If you need time to process something that's told to you, you should say so (as difficult as it is). Tell the person(s) involved about your RSD, how you need time to digest information like this and take some time to relax. Trying to respond to the information while going through the head of the dysphoria will be very rough and might not be what you truly want to say.

Distract - This is really useful for me personally! Do something that grabs your attention or occupies your mind. One of RSD's main symptoms is rumination, thinking of something over and over again. I usually listen to music, draw, or play a game that won't frustrate me - like minecraft! (i'd say rain world but some of you would call me a maniac /lhj)

Perspective - This may require some communication, but it can really help and connect with others. See what the involved people thought / perceived, explain, talk. This doesn't always have the chance to end in rainbows and rekindling but at least you understand. Sometimes simply hearing the person explain their own side is enough to ease my RSD, being able to have someone explain themselves to me so i can understand them better.

I also wanna point out the "don't take it personally" thing that people try to use to deal with it isn't something i agree with since we're going to take it personally at first regardless. Later on, not really, but you're trying to cope with the symptoms... telling someone (or yourself) that they're too sensitive & over-reacting is the worse thing you could do.

With time, you can even begin to build up your 'armor' and be able to sustain yourself in situations you might get hurt in. Of course, some things may be able to sneak past and hurt you more than you expect, but at the end of the day, you're trying your best to go about it the best you can while taking so many blows. you're doing great.

OK i dont have a lot more to add so if anyone else would like to talk about their experiences, please feel free! Character showcased here was my beloved fursona Shiki! i'm just a little neurodivergent + black artist from new york :]

hope you enjoyed it! sorry for the long post </3

#long post #rsd #adhd rsd #rejection sensitive dysphoria #neurodiversity #digital art #digital illustration #sfw furry #furry art #digital drawing #furry character #furry oc #furry artist #procreate #furry

[1111jenx]

Jen haiii I missed you so much. Gurl tell me some chart placements that have completely altered your previous views on them after meeting irl. Stereotypes about signs you've found completely wrong after getting to know them. I'm dying to know the placements that truly shook you to your core, comparing your astrological studies and real life experiences with them.

Hi love,

I'm literally that one person that will ask for your birth time, birth date and location after 5 minutes of meeting yk so trust me when I say, I do have many stories to tell LOL. Before I start tho, I do need to mention that this is based off my own experiences purely and again, this is just for fun:D So please enjoy this post and let me know what you think in the comment<3

Mini Interesting Astrology Observations

- stereotypes vs. irl edition

— The amount of time I heard people telling me that Leo Rising is a ray of sunshine when in reality they can be, however not at first 100%. The way they come off are extremely practical, even a little bit distant at first. They have this powerful yet quiet aura to them. What I would say tho is that they enjoy the company of people who feels like sunshine, its just something about goodness in people that gets to Leo Rising. They adore a sweetheart always.

— I would even go as far to say that all Fire Rising initially have a hint of distance. Aries Rising can appear intimidating, truly living up to their stereotype with their nonchalant demeanor. But beneath that exterior, they possess genuinely kind hearts, though sometimes their delivery might be a bit raw. Leo Rising commands respect with their mere presence. Sagittarius Rising aligns closely with their stereotype, but remember the Water 12th houses of the Fire Risings:.

Pisces 12th house - Aries Rising: Hiding their unselfishness and uncondinational side to protect themselves.

Cancer 12th house - Leo Rising: Hiding their nurturing side and soft-heartedness to ensure they're respected or perceived in a serious way.

Scorpio 12th house - Sagittarius Rising: Hiding their devotion and secretive side out of fear of being taken advantage of.

— Libra Moon is an extremely interesting placement for me to see. People usually think they're pushovers typically but like.. lets be for real. They're just nice and they like to be perceived that way. But the second they can sense that hint of disrespect, all hell break loose LOL. They're extremelyyyy opionated people and for them, respect is something they believe they have worked very hard for. Mediators at core though, always see different sides but doesn't mean they can be one of the most stubborn people ever :)

— Scorpio Venus justifying their intense feelings is the funniest thing ever. They can 100% be very devoted in relationship but the thing is, a lot of Scorpio Venus are never ever gonna give themselves to you if they sense that you're not committed to them or even the little hint that you're not in it for real. Remember, this is a Scorpio placement we're talking about. Their pickiness can even outshine Virgo Venus on a good day. The type to genuinely stalk your socials and disappear at the blurriest red flag. For them to take you seriously, you have got to be all about them in every single way, they don't want that fleeting romance, when they're in, they're in. Playing games might be fun at first for them but they're are not going to be around to entertain anything as such for long.

— Sun conjuncts Venus gets along so well with women. A lot of their friends are usually women and it seems that they just know how to put people at ease. There's an energy of almost androgyny about them in the sense that they have a great balance of energies. Can easily befriend anyone.

— Libra Mars forgives often but usually its very logical. One of the best boundary setter I've ever seen. They are sweethearts don't get me wrong but they can easily put you in your place while still being the sweetest angel ever.

— Sagittarius Sun are extremely ambitious people. They're very very driven. While they enjoy letting loose, they're equally devoted to their work and aspirations. From my experience, they're the kind who would invest months into a project, only to celebrate grandly once it's accomplished. They truly embody the 'work hard, play hard' spirit.

— There's a stereotype that pegs Aquarius Mercury as detached and overly rational, almost robotic in their communication. But as you dive deeper, you realize this couldn't be farther from the truth. While they do possess an innate ability to see the bigger picture and communicate ideas ahead of their time, there's a depth and warmth to them that often goes unnoticed. These are some of the smoothest talkers. Contrary to the belief that they're disinterested in personal stories, many Aquarius Mercury individuals are deeply curious about individual journeys and narratives. I also noticed that since they can be so nice to talk to, people just casually open up to them about literally anything.

— I saw squares aspects synastry plays out in real life and often times its honestly super funny. Its like 2 people that speak 2 different languages trying to get the same thing but don't want to admit it out of pride LOL. I'm not a big fan when there's too much squares within personal placements but to be fair, they promote hella growth. After these kind of relationships, everyone just kinda become either more stubborn with their values or extremely open-minded LOL

— While Taurus Moon is very emotionally reliant, in the sense that they're their own safe haven and therapy guide a lot of the times. These people also may be prone to denial. They take time to come to terms with a lot of events that happened and kind of just buried it sometimes until they fully accept it. Unhealthy coping mechanisms as well but with time, they find their own peace in the truth.

— Earth Risings, lets talk. They got to be one of the funniest people alive. Their sense of humour always hits and they're the living proof for don't judge a book by its cover. Everytime I'm with them I always hurt my stomach by laughing too much PLS. However, when time calls for it, they can sit down and get all corporate on you trust😉

This has been surprisingly kind of fun, please let me know if you'd like to see more of this in the future:))

love,

saint jenx🪐

© 2023 Saintz Jenx All Rights Reserved

#astrojenx #astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #leo venus #libra rising #astro community #leo #astrology community #libra

[upsidedownmvnson]

reader is insecure about being chubby | eddie munson blurb

requested by anon <3

warnings: insecurities, fluff, really mean bullying names, may be a long blurb idk

AN: i was chubby so i felt this one, and nothing said here wasn't said abt me in real life, but i know eddie would love something soft to grab

Everytime you walked to hallways, you had Eddie Munson's undivided attention. He was totally enamored with you. Every inch of you was a treat. The wide hips, every curve, the huge boobies, an ass he wanted to grab a handful of... The boy was obsessed. He would make up any excuse to talk to you, and anytime he could make you smile, he would be on top of the world for the rest of the day.

All day everyday Eddie would be tripping over himself to get your attention, but you saw it as something friendly. You thought Eddie was trying to be your friend. You thought maybe he saw you as a potential for Hellfire.

You were so wrong.

You, of course, were also smitten for Eddie. You would curl into yourself whenever he was around, he just made you feel so shy. He was so bold, so confident. It was something you admired about him. He was so rough, all leather, denim and calloused guitar fingers. You wanted to feel those fingers.

Today, you were wearing a skirt, against your typical covering wardrobe. You were excited when you left the house, but now you were just nervous. People looking at your legs, judging them. It made a shiver shoot down your spine. You were at your locker, trying to make yourself disappear into the metal.

"Damn, babe," Eddie said, leaning on the locker next to yours. He chuckled when his words startled you but talking, "you look good today."

"Stop," you said, heat rising in your cheeks and neck. You probably looked ridiculous, but Eddie's smile was as kind as always.

He brought his hand up to run one of those beautifully rough fingers across your cheek, tucking hair behind your ear to keep it out of your face.

"Pretty," he said quietly, trailing that finger down the side of your neck before dropping it back to his side. His eyes were a little wide like he hadn't meant to actually say that out loud.

"Eddie?" you kept your voice low, questioning his sudden desire to have his hands on you. It wasn't actually sudden, it's just the first time you perceived it as anything other than friendly.

"It's time for you to put me out of my misery," Eddie said, hand over his heart feigned agony. "Would you please do me the honour of going out with me this friday night?"

"You want to go out with me?" you asked, cheeks burning under the skin.

Eddie chuckled a little, but his eyes held a hint of confusion. His voice was soft, but questioning. "You can't really be that shocked, I mean... I've been coming on pretty strong."

Now you were embarrassed, your insecurities preventing yourself from enjoying the compliment. You were too stunned to say anything, but Eddie's eyes were kind, they encouraged you not to retreat into your shell. He was too sweet, touching your shoulder to keep you grounded. You felt his warmth threw the shirt you were wearing.

"Hey," he said softly. "Where'd ya go?" When you just blushed further, he said, "it's okay to talk to me, I've got your back sweetheart."

"Eddie we can't go out," you said finally, the disappointment clear on his face. He didn't try to hide the sadness clouding his eyes.

"Why not?" he asked, "it's okay you don't have to explain. Somebody else already, huh?" His defensive babbling continued, as he tried to mask his hurt feelings at the thought of your rejection. "I shoulda known a catch like you already had somebody sweet on her, I mean... damn, you're beautiful."

"Eddie, stop." You refused to tear up in the hallway, that would only attract the sharks. "It would be ridiculous. People would make fun of us."

It hurt Eddie's feelings at first, thinking you were talking about him, and his reputation. But after examining the look on your face, he realized you were talking about yourself, as if you would somehow be dragging him down. And that didn't make sense to him at all, you were so fucking cute.

"What do you mean?" he asked, try to keep your attention up at him. An intimate moment lost in the crowd of the students in the school. You and Eddie just seemed kind of, lost in your own little world. "Who would laugh at you?"

"I don't know? The basketball players? What if they ask you what it's like to ride the piggy?" You sounded small. Like your own words were taking up too much space, so you made them smaller.

"Do... do people call you uh... stuff like that?" he asked, unable to make himself say the actual words. Afraid to ever let you hear a words like that come out of his mouth. "That's- that's fucking horrifying, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that."

The softness of his voice was a pleasant surprise. Like he knocked off the theatrics and let you see what he was really thinking, feeling.

"I don't want to overstep anything," he said, voice dipping low so no one else heard him say, "but you have no idea how sexy I think you are. If you'd let me..." his voice dropped even lower, sensual and seductive, close to your ear, whispering, "...I'll show you."

"Eddie," you whispered, cheeks hotter than you'd ever felt. The blush looked more maroon than pink. "There are people everywhere."

"And they'd be jealous," he said, backing off and raising his voice back to normal, "because you are the hottest girl in school, and you're all for me... but we can make that official when I take you out on Friday."

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagines #st #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fiction #stranger things fic #stranger things s4 #stranger things #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader #ed blur

[ash-says]

Tips on how to be Goody Two Shoes and Pure in the society's eyes:

If you ask me personally I feel we girls should know how to camouflage cause it will just not save your life but also open lots of doors for you. Society loves obedient, docile and submissive women. It villianizes the ones who don't fit in this category. It's difficult to change the patriarchal society so easily thus as we fight for our rights how about we smartly use it for our advantage by selling a delusion?

Don't we say, delulu is the only solulu.

So here are some tips for you:

1) Be a nerd. Literally nothing screams Goody two shoes more than this.

2) Believe in purity culture (even if you don't, publicly act like you do). When someone asks you for casual sex react as if he has asked for your life.

3) Be religious. After all if you are faking a personality make sure you nail it down to perfection.

4) Don't indulge in sexually provocative behaviours or flirting.

5) Delude them in thinking you are a pushover. Do not exert any kind of power or assertiveness until it's absolutely necessary. Fake weakness.

6) Be kind and soft spoken. Treat people lower than your status with love and be receiving towards them. This helps in establishing influence and being perceived as a kind, gentle and elegant lady.

7) Don't let men touch you easily and casually. Be a little reserved. It automatically elevates the way people look at you and gives off a little conservative vibes.

8) Identify the thin line between modernization and traditions. Tread on it carefully to appeal to both the masses.

Disclaimer: I am not preaching to people please but rather use the society's biases to our advantage. The foolish rebels while the smart ones beat them at their own game.

9) Dwell in both sides of the world. It will give you an instinct on how to act where. Explore both the dark and light sides of the human society. The extreme liberalisation and the extreme conservatism this will teach you how to blend both of them for your benefit.

10) Be pretty. It can be in anyway. Make sure the way you are showing up is confident, attractive and showcases your best self. Pretty privilege is real. The amount of times I got out of situations, things and extra work by using pretty privilege, acting cute and dumb coupled with my other techniques is unreal. Leverage the shit out of it.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

#gaslight gatekeep girlboss #girlblogging #glow up #it girl #self care #that girl #dark feminine energy #self love #becoming that girl #becoming her #manipulation #glow up journey #level up journey #level up #that girl aesthetic #it girl aesthetic #pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #coqeutte #dark femininity #dream girl #dream girl aesthetic #motivation #wellness #self development #self help #self improvement #femme fatale #thewizardliz #the 48 laws of power

[shimmeringweeds]

For those interested in a sing-along: here is an English translation of the encore song from the Link Click Musical. (you know, the one one with the hug.)

The tentative title, supplied by a weibo user, is 追光者 "Zhuīguāng zhě" <- Recent lyrics call this 《追光的人》

Edit: It didn't hold up lol. Big thank you @chocolatexiaoshi for teaching me! 追光的人 means People who Pursue Light/ Chase Light/ or Seek Light . Some lyrics have been and will continue to be modified as we work on this!

追光 translates to “spotlight” in my dictionary. Literally, it means "to chase light" In this song, 追光 is personified as either 追光者 or 追光的人. Pretty cool term to use in a stage play! Google translates this as “light chaser.” I’ve chosen to go with “guiding light.” We will see how poorly that holds up to official translation ^^;

Each line punches the gut harder that the last. This song basically references the s2 ending, then ties it into the earthquake ark. It's brilliant. It hurts. Listen to the video while you read. Please enjoy :)

Disclaimer: As always, I am a novice translating for fun, because I want to sing-along and know what I'm saying. I can’t speak or read this language. If you've checked google translate, this doesn't add much extra, but! this post conveniently includes Hanzi, Pinyin, and English for you to reference + a few notes. I've primarily used Pleco, inputting word by word, with mdgb.net/google for extra clarification. I'm learning, but fairly confident that this is reliable, though not fluent. Please reach out about any mistakes you find!

link to video

link to origin lyrics: one, two , and a thank you to @sgdlr-asdfghjkl for providing them!

---

-追光者-

LG:

城市一隅寂静角落

Chéngshì yīyú jìjìng jiǎoluò

A quiet nook in the corner of the city

破旧相馆串眹你我

Pòjiù xiàng guǎn chuàn zhèn nǐ wǒ

Our shabby photo studio ties us together

目睹命运莫测

Mùdǔ mìngyùn mò cè

Witnessing unpredictable fate

难逃重蹈覆辙

Nán táo chóngdǎofùzhé <- idom follow the track of the overturned cart.

It's hard to escape the same mistakes

照片窥探他的时空

Zhàopiàn kuīchēn tā de shíkōng

Peaking at his timeline in the photograph

无人知晓真实的我

Wú rén zhīxiǎo zhēnshí de wǒ

No one understands the real me

相遇还是重逢, 他不知, 我也不能说

Xiāngyù háishì lànghuā, Tā bùzhī, Wǒ yě bùnéng shuō

Whether this is our first encounter or our reunion, he doesn't know and I also cannot say.

-

CXS:

善于洒脱遮掩脆弱

Shànyú sǎtuō zhēyǎn cuìruò

I'm good at being at ease to hide weakness

他的出现如光降落

Tā de chūxiàn rú guāng jiàngluò

He emerges like light descending

学会渥手言和

Xuéhuì wò shǒu yán hé

Learning to shake hands and make peace

释怀亲情的枷锁

Shìhuái qīnqíng de jiāsuǒ

I'll let go of the chains of familial affection.

谁都有难圆的梦不止是我

Shéi dōu yǒu nán yuán de mèng bùzhǐ shì wǒ

Everyone has unfulfilled dreams, not just me.

-

LG:

遗憾指引着赶路的我

Yíhàn zhǐyǐnzhe gǎnlù de wǒ

Regret guides me in my pursuit

CXS:

回忆温暖着迷路的我

Huíyì wēn nuǎn zháo mílù de wǒ

Memories warm me when I’m lost

-

Both CXS/LG:

绕过岁月错落, 不问值不值得,

Ràoguò suìyuè cuòluò, bù wèn zhí bù zhídé

Detouring through time scattered around, don’t ask if it’s worth it or not

打破轮回的规则

Dǎpò lúnhuí de guīzé

Break through the rules of the the time loop

Refrain:

我一次又一次全力以赴, 跨越时间的沟壑

Wǒ yīcìyòuyīcì quánlìyǐfù, kuàyuè shíjiān de gōuhè

Again and again I’ll give my all, leaping across the ravine of time

无视黑夜白昼的界限, 试图换一个结果.

Wúshì hēiyè báizhòu de jièxiàn, shìtú huàn yī gè jiéguǒ

Ignore the boundary between night and day, and attempt to exchange one outcome

经历过, 才看破

Jīnglìguò, Cái kànpò

With experience, the ability to perceive

人生剧情总独特又重合

Rénshēng jùqíng zǒng dútè yòu chónghé,

The unique sums of life’s play will coincide again <- (arithmetic language. each timeline = a sum and you add timelines together to find a solution.)

却依旧不妥协不退缩, 让难题被弥合

Què yījiù bù tuǒxié bù tuìsuō ràng nántí bèi míhé

But still, don't compromise, don't cower and the problem twill be solved

-

每一次击掌后踏上旅途重返分岔的路口

Měi yīcì jí zhǎng hòu tà shàng lǚtú chóng fǎn fēn chà de lùkǒu

Every high five sets us back on the journey, we return to the branching crossroads

逆转時空的代价需要感性和理性拉扯

Nìzhuǎn shíkōng de dàijià xūyào gǎnxìng hé lǐxìng lāchě

The price of reversing time requires perception and reason's pull

追光者, 平凡者

Zhuī guāng zhě, píngfán zhě

People pursuing light, Ordinary people

不能插手为何感同身受

Bùnéng chāshǒu wéihé gǎntóngshēnshòu <- idiom: "to feel indebted as if the favor were received in person", meaning: "to feel as if it happened to oneself."

If you can’t lend a hand, why do you sympathize

任往事一幕幕 重演着

Rèn wǎngshì yīmù mù chóngyǎnzhe

Allow past events to play out, reenactor

却只能铭记职责

Què zhǐ néng míngjì zhízé

But we must bear responsibility

-

Chen Xiao and his Mom:

追光的人穿梭不同时空撕开时间的裂缝

Zhuīguāng de rén chuānsuō bùtóng shíkōng sī kāi shíjiān de lièfèng

The people who pursue light go back and forth between different times and space, ripping open cracks in time

尘埃落定的回忆激活过去与现实交错

Chén'āiluòdìng de huíyì jīhuó guòqù yǔ xiànshí jiāocuò

The memory’s dust has settled, causing the past to intertwine with present <-(激活- lit. chemical activation)

翻越着, 感受过

Fānyuè zhe, gǎnshòu guò

To climb over, to experience

不能重来的也还有更多

Bùnéng chóng lái de yěxǔ hái yǒu gèngduō

There are probably many things we cannot do over

却偏要去折叠去缝合让心结被愈合

Què piān yào qù zhédié qù fénghé ràng xīn jié bèi yùhe

But I must go fold, go suture, so this knot in my heart can heal

——

All:

追光的人圆满他们的梦抚平自己的伤口

Zhuīguāng de rén yuánmǎn tāmen de mèng fǔ píng zìjǐ de shāngkǒu

People who pursue light will satisfy their dreams and smooth their own wounds

逆转时针的能力操控宿命与现实相逢

Nìzhuǎn shízhēn de nénglì cāokòng sùmìng yǔ xiànshí xiāngféng

The ability to reverse the hands of the clock manipulates fate to meet reality.

追光者, 旁观者

Zhuīguāng zhě, pángguān zhě

People pursuing light, A bystander

轨迹从不许人失而复得

Guǐjī cóng bùxǔ rén shī'érfùdé

The trajectory will never allow a person to lose and regain

决不能任遗憾摆弄着, 让悔恨成为执着

Jué bùnéng rèn yíhàn bǎinòngzhe, ràng huǐhèn chéngwéi zhízhuó

Never can regrets be fiddled with, remorse will become attachment

-

LG:

追光者守护你救赎我

Zhuīguāng zhě shǒuhù nǐ jiùshú wǒ

People pursuing light will defend you and redeem me

让遗憾告别生活

Ràng yíhàn gàobié shēnghuó

To make regret depart from life

#link click musical #lyrics #people who pursue light #shiguang dailiren #时光代理人 #link click

[snaililita]

♠️♥️ Lyney x Reader♥️♠️

Synopsis: Reader has some serious escapist tendencies, no friends anymore, and lives in a shell they are too afraid to crawl out of because they perceive reality as disgusting and mundane nowadays. What happens when a certain magician shows them that reality can still be beautiful as a way to thank them for the freedom they inadvertently granted him with?

!!SPOILERS FOR THE ARCHON QUEST!!

This is kinda long! I also made it at 1 AM so if there are any errors it's cuz of that ('□`) I personally have been going through some things and have been finding a lot of comfort in this goofy ol'magician. So sorry if this has some darkers tones than my usual stuff! I tried to keep reader as gender neutral as I could by not name dropping anyone and only referring to them as "You" variations. If there is a slip up please tell me!

You're hardwired to be an extrovert, but you exist in an environment and place that shuns you and forces you into a shell.

You've had your voice ripped from your throat one too many times and you've been silenced for nothing more than a mere giggle.

You were raised in an isolated world, away from humanity and it's harsh reality.

You didn't have any friends growing up except for the occasional child of a parent's friend who would visit.

Your siblings would hide away and your father would yell all the time. Your mother was always at work. Your friends were in your worlds of fiction and your books. The drawings you began to make to see these adventures you had with them.

You don't know how real people act or how to speak with them, treating everything like dialogue in a book.

Friends you had made at one point eventually coined you as toxic because of your inability to speak with any of them properly. Perhaps you should've tried harder. No, you definitely should have tried harder.

Perhaps they would still be here if you had made more drawings for them. Maybe if you had kept your opinions to yourself. Maybe if you had just smiled and nodded. Maybe they would still be here.

You became a shell. Hiding yourself away from any possible relationships. Keeping yourself away from anyone else you could possibly hurt with your ignorance. You had friends, it's not like you were lonely. The characters you read about and drew all the time were your friends.

Yet, they began to feel empty. You began to feel empty. Focusing all your time on honing your talent and living in a world of fiction reality became bland. Disgusting even. This only drove you to hide away from it even more.

You were lonely, craving friends and love you knew you couldn't let yourself have. It was like an addiction. You had it once and now you want it more. But nothing else ever hits like that first high does, right?

For the sake of everyone else around you, you cut them all off. You were stung once. Being shelter your whole life you didn't know how to handle it. You gave up on everything and everyone.

You felt hollow.

You met him after one of his shows.

The magician was so insistent you see his next one.

You supposed it couldn't hurt.

So you arrived at his next one.

And then the next.

And the next.

Until you began to see every show of his.

He would speak to you after each one, ask you how your day was. He would tell you about his.

Even after he was ousted as a member of the fatui you still saw his shows. You still spoke with him. It was as if you didn't even care.

Something about him and his magic, the reality bending of it all was beautiful. The most beautiful thing you had seen in ages.

It didn't feel real, yet it was. It was magnificent. He was magnificent.

Nothing could change that. Especially not something as silly as a title or affiliations.

As far as you were concerned, he was wonderful.

Even after he began to show you his true colours.

He had shown you something beautiful, and for that you could only appreciate every side of him.

Everything about him was addictive, every single part and side. Every nook and cranny. Both sides of the beautiful coin.

That's when you realised you became too attached.

You didn't want to ruin something so beautiful with your thorns, so you stopped attending his shows.

Stopped seeing him all together.

You couldn't tarnish something so glorious by hurting the person responsible for it. You couldn't hurt the majesty of it all. The majesty he showed you.

He noticed you stopped attending his shows immediately.

He sought after you for ages. Since you hardly leave you house only for food he didn't find you for a while.

However, once he did he wouldn't leave.

He followed you around, asking all about where you had been.

You wouldn't respond.

All though he wouldn't speak of it, you in a way provided him with a sense of comfort.

You didn't even question him once after he was revealed to be of the House of Hearth.

All though you loved him for being able to break reality, you weren't a monster. You never forced him to keep up his acts. You knew even someone as talented as he needs breaks.

So when he approached you, his hair unstyled and in plain wear with nothing more than a mere request of comforting silence or idle chatter not regarding his work you obliged.

He felt as if he could show both sides of himself to you, both sides of that coin. He could be as flashy or as monotonous as he wished. You granted him a sort of freedom.

He became very quickly attached to you.

When you stopped showing up to his performances he panicked.

Perhaps you were tired of his antics?

It took a long time, but you eventually did open up about why you stopped showing up.

He felt a side of him ache.

You were just about as alone in this world as he was, yet not at the same time.

He had his siblings to talk to, the blonde traveller to talk to. You seemed to have no one.

To learn his shows were a break from the world you viewed of rancid initially and how it brought you to love every part of him.

How ethereal he was to you.

And how you were afraid you would grow obsessive and toxic and how you didn't want that for him.

How he had been the closest thing you've had to a friend in years and how attached you had become.

How worried you were for him, how you adored him so much you were willing to cut yourself away if it meant keeping him safe from something potentially toxic. Even if it meant sacrificing your own happiness.

He wouldn't let you feel this way, no, he couldn't let you feel this way anymore.

He assured you that he would never run away, no matter what sides of yourself you were to show him. After all, you did the same for him.

He would understand and help you learn how to make friends, how to properly interact with others. Yet, he would want you to be the same around him.

In a way, he wanted to help you build a mask to wear like he does but still provide you with people you can be yourself around.

He thinks you are wonderful and misunderstood, yet he understands not all can see that. He wants to protect you like he does his siblings.

It's the only way he knows how to help, and you don't seem to mind either. He can't change everyone or anyone's opinion of you. Those are to each their own. But you can. And he can help you find a way to do that.

He doesn't want you to change who you are, but but doesn't want you to feel isolated and alone anymore either.

So a removable mask seems as if it's the best answer, no?

He also introduces you to his siblings and a blonde traveller along with their adventuring party. You meet a large amount of kind people including a young man who visually strikes quite a similar appearance to your friendly magician with a platinum blonde ponytail and bright crimson eyes and a young woman with a long, pink ponytail that fades to a blue and eyes that seem to have seen things beyond the scope of what a woman her age normally would have.

If you begin to feel nervous making so many new friends and with things changing so quickly, he doesn't hesitate to take things slower. He isn't afraid to make any adjustments for you.

He isn't afraid to return the feeling of freedom you blessed him with, so let him crack that shell of yours and help you spread your wings to soar out of that black abyss of isolation you've been drowning yourself in.

#adelita writes #genshin lyney #lyney #lyney x reader #soft lyney #lyney comfort

[cherryberg]

HI OK I HAD A MOMENT TO THINK ABOUT IT, THIS IS ABOUT YOUR TEN 17776 POST.

i was talking to my bf about it. and he broguht up that ten is 'rude' at points. and that made me think.

people perceive ten's bluntness as her being like. mean or snarky? even though juice's entire intoduction is him insulting nine

like. juice is meaner than ten, ten is just serious.

i think in part because ten is female aligned, people view her bluntness as much *harsher* than it actually is - and since we live in a male focused world, a woman being rude is her worst sin. does that make sense

anyways. ten i love you

god forbid a woman does fuckin' anything, man

for a good chapter or so, i also perceived juice to be rude Because of his introduction, but ten being rude has never been a defining trait of hers to me. definitely blunt and stubborn, yes, but not rude. i partially wonder if how ten writes changes the way she's perceived, properly compared to juice's lax style of speaking ("Juice can do it because he’s European. You and I are NASA, born and bred. We have standards." 20020, Chap 4), and with it making her casual speak stick out like a sore thumb ("… listen, Nine, are you going to keep doing this? Is cross-talk just your … deal? Want to shut up for even a second?" 17776, Chap 1) - but yeah can't forget that, because she is female-aligned, people will probably, unintentionally or not, read her ruder than she is or have it stick to them more that she is rude. that isn't to say she's not not rude - she has her fair share of "Shut up"s ("Shut up. Shut. Up." 17776, Chap 1. "Shut the fuck up." 17776, Chap 13) - but god forbid women be abrasive

the line i brought up in that original post ("He’s the fun one, and by default, I’m the boring one." 20020, Chap 7) makes me nuts. juice is the fun one so BY DEFAULT ten is the boring one, and she knows this. it's so aligned with how people treat her, coupled onto the fact that she is indeed the "girl satellite". and it drives me nuts when people further the wedge on how different juice and ten is because juice is intensely goofy (an example being putting a period before juice dialogue but not for ten, when all have periods before their dialogue in videos - it's just a formatting thing!). especially when nine is the middle ground, and is more open to juice's shenanigans, it emphasises the stricter, more serious light on ten, which might be emphasised further by fans because, by default, she is the boring one

and it's not like ten doesn't have any whimsy herself. she does speeches and has calls with human friends and watches the sun rise, even if it is just a speck, and is great at handling the camera and changes the direction of her text to go up and makes mistakes that kills billions of people and "Yes you do, buddy." and she loved that light bulb and loves people and earth and loves her sibling, who is both older and younger than she is, and loves juice, despite it all. she loves her friends, and she loves football

even in real life, do you know how interesting pioneer 10 is? the first outer planetary mission? to jupiter, no less! there are Real Life Monetary Coins made of her, man - someone get me a 2009 $1 Australian gold coin with a space probe Pioneer 10/11-type on the back please!

i dunno, this is all just ramblings. don't take this as me hating juice, i love that guy. but i also love ten. more people should like ten #women #girl

#textberg #askberg #kitsumo #17776 #20020 #pioneer 10 #my art #other art #btw i do love your ten design .. she's so birds :] #and her little rtgs as ears and the magnometer trailing behind her #so cool

[autisticandroids]

watched 1x14 nightmare today. so there's this moment in that ep that everybody talks about, at the end. this one:

SAM: Well I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad. DEAN: (Looking astounded...and pleased) Well I never thought I'd hear you say that. SAM: Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. I little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we woulda had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out ok. Thanks to him. DEAN: (Turning back to look at Max's house) All things considered.

it's a moment people pay a lot of attention to. because the thing is... dean's face falls, here. he's clearly put off by what sam's saying. he's bothered. and the common reading of that is that there was some degree of abuse more like max's that sam never saw. and that's like. that's DEFINITELY a legible reading of this episode.

however! i actually think this is a place where paying attention to authorial intent leads you interesting places.

so, first of all, what was the overall thesis of nightmare? i would argue that it's sam needs to stop being a pussy and whining about his childhood, some people have real problems. that's why the abuse max experiences is so cartoonishly bad, why the final conclusion is that max will always be miserable and is better off dead, why sam walks out of this experience more willing to empathize with john: the point of nightmare is that sam needs to learn that he could have had it way worse, that in fact growing up a hunter was the best option.

sam and max have a conversation in the middle of the episode that cements this point:

MAX: He blamed me for everything. For his job, for his life, for my Mom's death. SAM: Why would he blame you for your Mom's death? MAX: Because she died in my nursery, while I was asleep in my crib. As if that makes it my fault. SAM: (Looking shocked) She died in your nursery? MAX: There was a fire. And he'd get drunk and babble on like she died in some insane way. He said that she burned up. Pinned to the ceiling!

the point being made here is that sam is lucky. both mary and max's mother died in insane ways. john responded to this by accepting the insanity and getting obsessed with hunting demons. max's dad falls deeper into drink and blames max instead. this is the way to present the miserable demon hunting child soldier lifestyle as the better option.

(it's also useful to talk about how john was probably not intended to be perceived as an abusive father (though of course he obviously is, the writers just don't think anything that isn't what max went through counts as abuse); @restlesshush has a point she likes to make about how no one bothered to tell jdm that john's relationship with salmondean is fraught so he just doesn't play it that way.)

so now that we've established the overall point of nightmare, let's get back to the original point. now, i specifically want to talk about what i think the intent of the text is.

now, the basic formula of supernatural season one is that sam and dean get in an argument at the start of the episode, usually about their father, and it continues throughout. and when one of them fails to argue back, the other notices. look at this moment from 1x11 scarecrow:

DEAN: Sam. You were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life. SAM: Are you serious? DEAN: You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy. SAM: I don’t even know what to say.

dean fails to fulfill his narrative role, and sam notices. this is the same kind of things as when for example dean becomes more and more obsessed with clinging to sam because he has to in order to maintain the format of the show (i.e. two brothers). character flows from format, instead of the other way 'round.

and here, in nightmare, dean is unsettled by sam's change of heart, mostly because it breaks format, but also because, due to the format, sam (at least in dean's perception) has the character trait of "dad-critical" and it unnerves dean when this changes. that is i think as far as we can definitively say authorial intent goes. nightmare is a sam episode, so any deeper meaning is probably imo between jensen ackles and the fans.

but, if you'll permit me to go a little deeper than authorial intent while still using it as a baseline. here, in nightmare, the tendency to notice sam failing to fulfill his role becomes a lot more interesting. look at that scarecrow quote:

DEAN: You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy.

dean's disquiet when sam fails to fulfill his role as john-critic is both intriguing and unsettling. it's layered. dean isn't just reacting to sam not following the script. he needs someone to play the role of john critic in his life, because he can't do it. he is, consciously or unconsciously, relying on sam to do it for him. and that's why he makes that face outside the millers' house.

#spn #also the fact that nightmare and the benders are back to back proves that the writers weren't thinking too hard about child abuse

[roz-ani]

Izzy deserved to hear that from Ed.

That's Izzy's family. It's Izzy whom the crew loves.

That was Izzy's arc, not Edward's.

Now, please, don't get me wrong. It is a part of Ed's growth. Still, the main focus has always been his relationship with Stede and his identity. You can absolutely dive into the captain's relationship with his crew, but you don't replace a character's arc with another one's, especially at the last minute.

I understand the symbolism of Blackbeard "dying" with Izzy. The gatekeeping, gaslighting, feeding the persona of the world's greatest and most merciless pirate staying in the past... I am also fully convinced that Blackbeard's right-hand man actually passing away to achieve that was unnecessary.

What this season did for Izzy was absolutely incredible. That man abandoned his ego and changed the way he perceived power, respect, loyalty, and support for and because of a group of people he despised at the beginning.

His main purpose has always been looking after any crew he was a part of. He had more contact with them than the captain himself, especially aboard the Revenge when Blackbeard was going through his mental breakdown. In the first season, we saw Izzy wouldn't be the best captain, but he did have the experience and eventually learned how to look after his subordinates. All because he finally experienced proper care himself.

He got his heart broken in more than one way, yet managed to find his people, his family. Izzy finally got to know what real appreciation looks like. He got it from the people he initially mistreated. The crew decided to look after Izzy because "he's their dick". They stopped fighting after seeing him at his lowest. They made him a new prosthesis out of the figurehead of all things, showing the audience how they see him - the crew's protector, the spirit of the ship.

At first, Izzy kept pushing them away. Not out of hatred for them, but for himself. Because healing is difficult, it hurts, it takes incredible strength and willpower to admit to yourself that your environment is harmful and that you might be the problem as well. Especially when leaving it seemingly deprives you of your identity or purpose in life. Besides that, come on, it's Izzy Hands. A man who wasn't heartless, but also not "soft", as he would have most likely put it himself. He was still rough around the edges and cynical. However, after all this time he finally allowed himself to let go and feel comfortable, so some of that bitterness disappeared over time. I still don't believe he was fully healed, but he was on the right path.

Despite changing his outlook on life, Izzy was still respected. He knew what mattered and what to do and say to make sure his crew's issues were properly resolved.

Now, Ed's apology. At first I felt like there didn't need to be any deep talk between the first mate and his captain, because they understood each other well enough. That's not what communication is about though. It's not about taking something or someone for granted. Especially is the conflict escalates to such extent. There should've been more to that. They should've both had a conversation about their relationship and what made them bad for each other. Most importantly, how they could fix that and heal together. If that would require them to part ways, so be it. At least they'd separate on good terms. Now we can only speculate.

I would say my biggest problem is not with Izzy Hands dying. It's about how he died. Although I doubt I'd support this decision in season 3, at least it wouldn't be so rushed. There was no proper build-up to it. Izzy and Richard, of all people, had a deep talk about understanding piracy, a concept that is a base for one's actions. This was probably the biggest red flag, which tragically appeared in the same episode Izzy died. The crew didn't thank him or bid him farewell. He wasn't properly mourned. He was buried in the ground.

"You should've expected that. Things were going too well. A mentor character always dies after regaining hope". I have two HUGE problems with that.

First of all: a mentor character? I guess? For two, maybe three episodes at best? Izzy did meet some mentor archetype points. He was Stede's mentor for a bit, I mentioned his experience and position as the first mate, but I wouldn't say that's his main purpose. The writers did, but we're going to talk about it in a second.

Second of all: this was many people's comfort show. Especially when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. I myself have praised this show for its take on communication and found family portrayal. It was fun, light-hearted, safe.

I understand the need to tell your story, I truly do. I know that people don't have the right to tell someone how to create, because the audience, especially the more pushy members, can be very often self-centered and don't know what's planned for a show's future. Except that these days you really have to be careful with how you plan your story with the corporations holding all the power - that's why we need to support the strikes. You need to be prepared to disclose necessary information in a proper way if needed. You need to pay attention to what you're portraying.

Now, I also believe that media literacy is dead (exaggeration) and people really can't for example understand that stories develop over time, seasons, or chapters unless they're consuming a media piece that has already run its course. They do have the tendency to take things literally and not search for the context.

Still, in the postmodern era of creativity, you need to know you don't hold all the power, despite not owning people anything. Your audience can interpret things on their own. What you believe to have no power or significance can mean the world to your audience. Remember how difficult it was for people to believe this show actually has LGBTQ+ characters and a love story in it? Or how the creator admitted he was surprised by the scepticism? I don't. Not only because I started watching the show quite late, but also because I don't consider myself to be a part of this community. It didn't mean so much to me, because I currently focus on different aspects of the content I consume. However, I know how they perceive media and their products. I may not have the same experience, but I know where theirs comes from. And I know that this show was just different. TV series, books, etc. do not belong only to the creators nowadays. Yes, they are their products, but they are made for an audience that has the right to individually approach and criticise them. And even though overinterpretation is a thing, there is no one right answer to certain issues.

BUT THEN AGAIN: THE MONEY. Was it the budget? I honestly have no idea. Perhaps it was, because literally everything is dependent on it these days...

See, we could argue back and forth about the behind-the-scenes, but I don't think I have enough knowledge of that. I also don't want to get into the topic of disability, suicide, abuse, etc., because I am not the right person for it, even though some of those things are a part of my experience. There are people out there who can give you their thoughts on their perception of Izzy's character and his significance in those areas.

I suppose my point is... I'm mad and genuinely disappointed. I can't remember the last time I was so attached to a character. I absolutely adored Izzy's character and was drawn to him in the first season. I related to him struggling with his toxic environment and finding a safe space. I was ready to see him become a captain. Heck, even if that wasn't planned for him, I still trusted the crew to let the character be happy after everything he's been through. Instead, I got this: "As long as you turn over a new leaf and heal, your death is a good one... Redemption equals no happily ever after... Remember that life isn't fair..." Aren't we tired of such narratives? What does it say about us and the media we consume? Isn't hypernormalisation of such issues exhausting?

I'm disappointed because I had hope. Even after getting betrayed by so many stories in recent years, I still had it. I had hope for a different character. Hope for a different show.

Edit: Just wanted to make something clear because I see more and more people focusing on Buttons sitting on Izzy's grave and David Jenkins liking a tweet about him being a witch. You could call me a hypocrite for pointing out people's lack of media literacy and not even considering the possibility of bringing Izzy back. That was my first thought. I would absolutely love for Buttons to do his magic and revive our man. There is something inside of me still holding onto that hope. I'm just really, really, REALLY tired of having hope in shows nowadays. I'm choosing to remain sceptical. Who knows, maybe I'll be positively surprised. Still, I stand by what I wrote: I think killing Izzy was unnecessary in the first place.

#and so necromancy is the only thing I have left #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd 2 #our flag means death 2 #mine #roz writes

[olivereliocorcordium1983]

Now that I have gotten out of the fanfic bubble for a minute, let me just say, that one: I am not very happy with this woman who decided to come into Armie's life and pull this shit with him after everything that has happened to him. Why? yes, I know Armie is a big boy his life is his and he can do what he wants I'm all for that just like Timmy.

However, it kills me to see that he is trying to better himself (like most of us in this world who were abused by someone) and trying to become a better person just for someone to come along and have written on their story this long nice thing about Armie.

Just to turn around and be dumb as hell and write, "super interested in psychopaths" Armie is not a psychopath. Like most of us who end up abused, he is a human being trying to better himself, and become a better version of himself after the fact. And try his best to see the better in people but end up with people who either

want there 15 minutes of fame, because they heard about all the crap that was going on with him and saw and thought to themselves "oh my god! drama let me see for myself what this is about." Hello serial killer lovers of Jeffery Dahmer, Ted Bundy ect.

They only want to be with you because either you are rich as hell and want that big green and will sweet talk your way into it. Having no actual care in the world for the other person at all. Or you have something else that the person wants.

We find someone and think, "okay this is it. Maybe I will try just one more time. Maybe this time will be different." just for them to cheat, lie, and make excuses for their actions because they don't want to take accountability.

Which just instills for those of us who have to or are trying to rewire our thinking from the abuse, that this is just another person who proved to us that we can't open up to anyone. And that there probably isn't a real genuine human being out there who will love us (other than our mommas, grandmas and sisters if you have them in your life or at all) for just us and actually want to see us happy, and actually want to be with us. Instead of adding to the already warped way we end up seeing the world thanks to the abusers.

Now let me clairify this: I am not talking about the "I'm gonna die alone." #foreveralone bs. that people do when they can't stand to be by themselves. NO. I am talking about actually have been alone, can stand and be okay with being alone but, want to experience a real loving relationship that actually lasts with someone who isn't toxic.

It breaks my heart that both Timmy and Armie have to result to having people like this around them in their lives. Or that these people end up finding them. Both of them deserve to be happy, healthy and more importantly they deserve to be with people who will treat them like they deserve. For whom they actually are and not the way Hollywood perceives them to be.

And I have to say after all this shit.... Armie you need to get with Timmy, you two need to go snag Luca and hop your asses on a plane get far away from Hollywood. Go back to Crema, turn off your damn phones and just breath for awhile and this is not me hinting at the sequel as much as I would love that.

These two men need to be around each other again and a hell of a lot more often to keep both of them from doing stupid shit. Like this. Seriously, guys I love you both but you need to focus on yourselves, Armie (your kids) rather than getting into PR bs and having toxic people invade your spaces. Stop jumping pussy and get back to talking about the things that matter. 🙄🙄

Luca, I know you are a busy man, but could you please at some point when you are not so busy to kidnap your boys and take them back to Italy with you.

And Two: WHO IS READY FOR THE CRAZINESS TO GET BACK TO SOME RESEMBLENCE OF NORMALCY? SHOW OF HANDS ANYBODY? 🙌🏻

#cmbyn #callmebyyourname #armiehammer #timotheechalamet #elio and oliver #charmie #tiredofthetoxicmonkeycircus

[thehopelessexception]

how can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22 (almost 24)

warning: im writing this while im on my period and eating ice cream.

i've been dissociating for what now? half a year maybe more. i dont recognize reality. i feel im floating in this sea we call society and i've been feeling the wilson of the story here. i assume everything that's happening around me is real, ofc. but that doesnt make it any less a convenient arrangement i build for myself to try to act like a real person and not freak out. i am feeling out of reality. like the part of the game where you let the sim on auto-mode. i am the sim on auto-mode. and i don't know how to stop this stage of oblivion.

to make a vague introduction, the thing with me is that im a living paradox of a full time contradiction. i am flamboyant but i hate being perceived. i like to speak up for myself but i hate people thinking about me because of it. i have my own process of how i understand things. i trust logic and i question everything. im quite skeptical over things when there's no empirical evidence. i seek for knowledge. critical thinking, data analysis and the whole stuff. i know myself. i sometimes look like i am too obnoxious, frivolous, morally corrupted (people have told me that), when i obsess over something —because i sometimes treat people like they are stupid (not my intention really)—; but probably the only thing im completely sure of is myself. i tend to be a confident person, to have an ego, to not let the guard down, to calculate every single move. and lately i am noticing myself being impulsive, insecure, nervous, weird, saying stupid shit, nonsenses, feeling small. and i don't know how to make it stop. the thing is i put my whole self-esteem backed up by my intelligence, however im not sure of anything anymore. i don't know if the reason behind not recognising myself lately is the fact i have somehow a new crush —or a new hyperfixation for that matter— or just the natural act of growing, also known as the quarter life crisis.

i have this thing where i hyperfix on random stuff, i've been like this my whole life. one of my friends even made a powerpoint of all the things i've been obsessed with over the years. and the issue here is that this things never last that much, or maybe they do? i actually never though about it. the most random ones i remember are probably me buying ice-cream cakes of this specific brand every week for two months. i also got obsessed with eating too many scrambled eggs all day every day for a very long time. then it was that turkish telenovela on an airing channel. then ofc succession, and it grew into watching every single movie kieran culkin was part of. the world cup. mbti —im intj by the way—. red white and royal blue (i watched it five times in a day), then nicholas galitzine —did yk he has a lineage that comes all the way from the romanovs?— and his entire filmography. and also politics, i got way into politics; election campaigns, follow up candidates, history, economy, the law, etc (my candidate lost tho) (we're succumbing to disgrace) (like literally we collectively, as a country, haven't had any kind of good news since then) (please help me). and etc etc. but the thing is, i also hyperfix on random people, or not so random i guess. it doesnt happen very often tho, im quite picky, but the procedure is this: i meet someone, they draw somehow my attention, i want to know everything about this person, i talk to this person a lot (medium to long term) (week to months), and then this person becomes my friend or i get bored and completely ignore them for the rest of my life and move on.

but this time is different, or im feeling it different. i find myself questioning everything i know and i was convinced of. i dont know if it has something to do with the fact that i met someone, probably the first person wise enough to make me question if i was ever correct about anything. maybe i am hyperfixating on this person, idealizing them. but it's truly amazing how much more data this person has about everything i know of. and right now i feel way too insecure, because even if this person told me they find me smart and they enjoy talking to me, i am always thinking that if i say something not completely fact-checked they'll think im stupid. it's absurd. it's a boohoo situation, i know. and it's a process im having about who am i, or what am i supposed to be. some months ago the whole context around my life changed or i think it changed? i dont know how to explain it, —i mean i know how but i would have to talk about other things not related to this (politics stuff, things happening in my country, etc). i'll probably will make a new post about it someday—. but the whole issue is, i dont know myself anymore. and everything is crumbling.

im afraid the person i build for myself it's a fraud. or doesnt exist anymore.

i remember myself at 18, and i was this marvellous whole person. independent, smart, focused, driven. that girl spent their whole days outside her house. did everything she wanted to. wasnt scared of anything. and i look at myself now and think how? the pandemic has a lot to do with it i guess, but when i first heard taylor saying that in nothing new i thought "that wont happen to me". guess what, i was wrong.

for my fellow girlies being 23 —in my experience— is exactly how they say it will be. the worst age of your life.

next month is my birthday and im pushing 24. and i have to say my life is a mess. but i dont know if i can call it a mess because it is truly a mess or because i am a complete drama queen. because people probably have worse problems than mine, and i am what you call a white girl, only poorer —and a third world country citizen—. the issue is, i am almost 24, almost 25. almost 27. ALMOST 30. and i did nothing with my life. absolutely nothing. my mom had me at 29 for god's sake.

and by nothing i mean everything i do is not enough to feel it worthy of a life well-lived. should i look for a job and work while studying just to say i am extremely occupied because i have somehow a life? just to feel something? even if that makes my stress situation and anxiety even worse? should i somehow save enough money so i can move from my parents house? even if for my whole generation it's close to impossible? is studying something i (kinda) like enough to not feel like shit about myself? i've never had a boyfriend, nor girlfriend. shoud i look for one? get myself one? even if i dont think any of that would make me happy? i dont think i know happiness as a state of mind, nor the concept of it.

i dont feel like i have many anecdotes to tell in my future. should i measure the life-worth by anecdotes? my friends feel the same way i do, but they have a more organized life. jobs, boyfriends, careers, plans for the future, one of my closest friends move to the other side of the world with her boyfriend (!) in the blink of an eye. but they aren't much happy nor they have many anecdotes either. and i dont have the money or the guts or the available friends to create any.

every day i understand fleabag a bit more.

my favourite anecdotes about my life are from when i was about 13 and 15 years, also known as the worst time of my life. i didnt appreciated it back then, probably none of us did. but when we were teens everything was possible and we didnt have a care on anything other than mundane stuff or rebellious stuff but nothing more than yelling at people, drinking and smoking weird shit (i never had weed tho). not a real responsibility. being careless, free, avoiding consequences that mattered. i think that girl hates me right now. and i am not sure if that's the feeling i should have or if it's just utterly pathetic.

#girlblogging #girlblogger #girl blogger #girl interrupted #girly things #gaslight gatekeep girlblog #this is a girlblog #girl problems #girly stuff #girl blogging #girlcore #girl boss gaslight gatekeep #girl interupted syndrome #girl rotting #girlhood #girlblog aesthetic #girlblog #femcel #girlrotting #hell is a teenage girl #i’m just a girl #just girly thoughts #just girlboss things #taylor swift #nothing new #this is what makes us girls #fleabag #20s #life in your 20s #20 something

[milolovesbmc]

wait wrol jeremy is canonically/intentionally autistic coded??? please elaborate what are his little autistic mannerisms tell me everything

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST FREAKING ASK I'VE EVER GOTTEN!!! HOLD INTO YOUR SOCKS CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO RAMBLE!!!!!!

So, First off, Jeremy (in the Broadway/Off-Broadway productions) IS autistic coded!! since Will Roland based his interpretation/acting for Jeremy on teenagers from a theater camp he attended, who where most (not to say all) autistic. Also, I can't possibly talk about Jeremy being autistic without mentioning this, in the first/original version of Be More Chill Pt.1 one of the SQUIP's line to Jeremy is literally "every lame characteristic, makes you come off as autistic" which they cut (for obvious reasons) but there, had to be mentioned!! So in conclusion, yes he IS autistic coded!! With that outta the way:

WHY WILL ROLAND'S JEREMY IS AUTISTIC CODED!

EYE CONTACT

- This one is the one I have the least to talk about, it's mentioned he has issues with eye contact in More Than Survive, "[...] Avoiding any eye contact at all"

ABNORMAL SPEECH

- OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

- One of the biggest differences between Roland and Connolly Jeremy is how Will R Jeremy talks

- He has issues with Volume control, like how sometimes he's talking and he out of nowhere yells out a word or something and he seems to not notice? Also, he's the only character that talks louder than the rest normally (you have to differ this from stuff like how Michael screams the lines he says in More Than Survive while he's dancing, that's intentional, he's being goofy and having fun)

- Sometimes he talks too fast, like to the point he slurs his words, you can notice a couple or more of these throughout the show

- To finish off the speech thing, he talks in a really flat tone, you can tell not only by comparing his tone to other characters (like Jake for example) or if you compare the voice Will Roland does for Jeremy to the one he does for Jared in DEH, Jeremy's it's flatter

-I'm not too sure this is included in "Abnormal speech" for autism, but I felt like I had to mention that he does stutter/stammer (?) A lot throughout the whole show, it's even mention by the SQUIP in Be More Chill PT. 1 ("All your stammering's a chore" "Stammer?! No- no I don't stammer!")

- it's also suggested he speaks in a "weird" way when in Loser Geek Whatever he says "The please don't speak!" When referring to how he's perceived by his peers

SPECIAL INTEREST

- His special interest is clearly Superheroes and stuff of the sort (mainly from comics I'm pretty sure, but I don't know too much about superheroes) and he references them a lot of times and sees like most of his life and actions through more of a superhero/fiction sense

- The biggest example of him doing this is in More Than Survive (I'm gonna be mentioning MTS a lot here) when he says the line "If this was an apocalypse, I would not need any tips, on how to stay alive!"

- Also, I can even go into that one line even deeper, by this line he basically means that for him it'd be easier to survive in a zombie apocalypse rather than a high school, because an apocalypse has simple rules you need to follow to survive; getting food, not being biten by zombies... While to "survive" high school you need to do a whole bunch of stuff no one tells you you need to do; socialising, not having grades too high or too low, being cool, talking to people, making eye contact... Which are harder to him. This also means that he would know how to survive in a zombie apocalypse because of how much he plays Apocalypse of the Damned (most definitely part of his special interest)

- Also, here's some references/ties he makes between real life and fiction/superhero stuff:

"I like your sideburns, wolverine, right?"

"Like in X-Men?!"

- Not to mention one of his options for the SQUIP's settings was literally Batman

SOCIAL SKILLS

- I don't think I can give very specific examples here, but basically, the literal whole theme of the show is Jeremy not fitting in cause he's "socially awkward" and just generally "weird", you can mostly see it through how the SQUIP helps him socialize, the most clear example is maybe at the mall with Brooke and Chloe.

SARCASM, JOKES, METAPHORS ETC.

- Biggest one is in ILPR when Christine says "no this is where you meet for the swim team" when Jeremy asks about if you meet for Play Rehearsal there, and he takes the joke literally and starts to look around to make sure he's in the right place

- While Michael is talking about the Whole evolution thing, Jeremy is really confused, most probably because he doesn't understand why he's mentioning that as advice/metaphor?/an answer to his problems, then gets even more confused when he says "There's never been a better time in history to be a loser!"

- In Two-Player Game after Jeremy talks about getting the SQUIP and how it'll work and how it'll improve his life, Michael says "and if it does? Will you be too cool for... Video games??" He's clearly using that as an indirect way of saying he's afraid of losing him (which he actually does later on so that's fun!! /J) and Jeremy catches that but basically just completely ignores the metaphor thing and talks about it in a literal sense

RULES

- He mentions how he has some "rules" he follows to survive in More Than Survive (ofc it's in MTS) in the line "And so I follow my own rules, and I use them as my tools, to stay alive"

- This is not part of the musical, but it is in the book and I thought it was a good thing to mention here because it's pretty related, in the book he has these things called "Humiliation Sheets" they are papers he makes (and prints everyday, mind you) where he marks his social Humiliations, like when someone ignores him or laughs at him etc

MOTOR SKILLS

- Jeremy has like, pretty bad spacial awareness, like when he's Walking down the hallway In MS and he literally walks into half the people

- A really big example of it is in Be More Chill PT.2 when all of the people in the mall are flossing (as a whole thing because of the SQUIP) and Jeremy can't manage to get it right

STIMMING

- This is mentioned by the SQUIP in Be More Chill PT. 1, where it literally says "your tics and fidgets are persistent"

- Some of the ways he stims in:

1) The literal first line of the musical, when he says "c-c-c-c'mon c-c-c-c'mon go go!" that's a vocal stim, cause he's inpatient/nervous. (Also in I love play Rehearsal and voices in my head, maybe in some other moments too but idk rn)

2) Not to sure if this one counts as stimming, but he tends to hold onto things pretty tight (mostly through MTS) , like his sleeves or his backpack or Michael when Christine signs up

2.5) This closely relates to stim 2, but he also opens and closes his fists a lot, like clenching and unclenching them

(There's more but I can't remember all of them rn)

3) he moves his hands and rise and drops them a lot when he's upset and talking about what he's upset about, like in More Than Survive and Loser Geek Whatever, also, a lot of big gestures generally

4) At the Halloween party before (?) a guy that I'd kinda be into (Reprise) Christine asks "just say what's on your mind" and Jeremy basically makes a really weird noise which Christine goes along with, that's indeed vocal stimming!! They're stimming together how sweet is that!!

- This is not Jeremy related but I just wanted to mention it, Michael stims like A LOT, you can look at him in any scene and he will 99% surely be stimming in some way, specially in MITB (someone ask me about Michael being autistic so I can talk about that too pretty please /hj)

Can you tell I'm really into psychology and stuff?? This is basically my two fav interests combined, BMC AND PSYCHOLOGY YAYY!!!!

Btw feel free to talk about you own opinion/take on the whole thing, I'd be happy to know!! :D

#be more chill #bmc #jeremy heere #autism #will roland jeremy