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sinner-as-saint · 19 days

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meaner than my demons

Dark!Bucky x Avenger!Reader au

Run-through: You wake up in a manor in the middle of nowhere with no recollection of how you got there. All you remember is that you and Bucky were out on a mission, and then nothing. Bucky…? This wasn’t his doing, was it? What you didn’t know was that Bucky, of all people, had all the reasons to become the bad guy. To avenge himself, what was done to him, and all that was mercilessly taken from him. Nobody knew just how close he’d gotten to just giving into the twisted temptations that beckoned him over. All he needed was a slight nudge, a purpose – and you gave him that unknowingly. So he went, and he dragged you over to the darkness with him.

Themes: angst, dark!bucky, kidnapping, sort of beauty and the beast vibes, mentions of bucky’s traumatic past as the winter soldier, smut, fluff, praise kink, HEA but slightly ambiguous ending ;)

a/n: the angst is strong with this one. Also, I was merely experimenting with this character so take nothing too seriously <3 ily (p.s: this is long, grab a snack)

There’s a minotaur in the middle of the maze.

That sentence echoed in your head as you slowly blinked your eyes open. Your vision was blurry, your head spun even as you laid down looking up at the shiny, intricate chandelier above the canopy bed you were currently in.

You focused on the bizarrely alluring chandelier, blinking as you tried to bring your vision back to normal, trying to get your head to stop spinning.

It felt like you were waking up after a night of heavy drinking. Slowly, as if not trusting your body, you sat up on the comfy bed.

There’s a minotaur in the middle of the maze.

There was that damn sentence again. What the fuck is even that? Where did it come from? You squinted as you looked around, feeling a throbbing headache forming. Nevermind the strange sentence, where were you was the real question here. How did you end up in this bed?

Panicking you quickly assessed your body. You were still in your mission gear, except none of your guns were in their holsters. Other than that, everything felt fine. You weren’t hurt anywhere, except for a pain at the back of your neck. You moved your head, trying to figure out what the cause of the pain was, but other than some sore muscles, nothing hurt.

You carefully sat on the edge of the bed, planting your boots on the ground and looking around. Judging by the light coming in through the ridiculously large georgian windows, it looked like it was well into the evening. And the room was… beautiful in a gothic, dark way.

Apart from the fireplace within which was lit a small fire, and the golden scones on the walls and the chandelier above the bed, everything else was dark. The walls were dark green, the large canopy bed was all-black with dark grey bedding, the high ceiling was covered in detailed moulding. Dark, wooden coffee table and bookshelves, black leather upholstered sofas, a huge chest drawer in the corner.

If you were kidnapped, you thought, you’d likely be in some dark room with no windows – like a dungeon. Not in a properly furnished, clean bedroom.

You frowned as you tried to go back, trying to figure out how you got here. You got up from the bed and approached the windows, looking out. For a moment you were mesmerised by the view outside. From this window, you could see the sprawling wings of the house on either side of you. A manor, then, not a house.

Situated at the foot of hills which rose behind the manor, partially shrouded in dense fog. Some countryside, then? You tucked that information away as you scanned the area even more. The manor it seemed was surrounded by thick woods. The hills, the fog, the dark green woods, it all seemed like it was a scene out of a mysterious, dangerous novel. The silence, the secrecy…

You looked further around and noticed a walled garden not too far to the right, and to the complete left a… huge hedge maze. You could only see part of it but–

There’s a minotaur in the middle of the maze…?

The memory came flooding into your brain, and you almost lost your balance for a moment.

You had been hiking up these hills for days. But a mission was a mission, correct? You looked behind you and noticed Bucky frowning in deep thought.

“Are you sure about this?” You asked your good friend. You and Bucky had been paired together for many missions recently, all of them successful. You two made a great team. He wasn’t much of a talker, and you enjoyed silence and solitude.

“Yeah,” He mumbled, coming to a stop beside you. “I received solid intel about a house just beyond these woods. The owner deals in illegal substances,” He added in his usual, dark-humoured, self-deprecating tone, “the kind that can create worse creatures than super soldiers.”

“Hey!” You tapped him on the chest playfully, disapproving of his joke. Still you said, “I, for one, am glad they made you.” You added to his weird humour, “I get a good friend and a perfect bodyguard all in one.”

Bucky gave you a rare smile. It made him look boyish and young, and… handsome. You looked away quickly. It always did something to you, that smile. It was a useless little crush you’d been nurturing since that day – months ago – when Bucky took a bullet to his shoulder to save you during a crossfire.

“You can stay here if you want,” Bucky suggested, “I’ll go take a look and come back.”

“No,” You reached into your backpack and pulled out two fancy binoculars, handing one to him, “We just need to get on top of this hill, and then we’ll keep an eye on the house and its ground for a while,” You explained as you began hiking up the hill again, Bucky following you loyally like he had this whole time, “And then we’ll make a plan. Okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Getting on top of the hill was no big deal. The hike was easy and the hill was high enough that you had a clear vision of the manor and its grounds even with thick woods between the hill and the manor.

You let out a gasp the moment you looked through the binoculars. Bucky beside you did the same thing, not gasping at the beauty of it all though. Then again, few things impressed Bucky. You supposed this luxurious, gothic manor and its elegant grounds weren’t on the list.

“Whoever this is should be ashamed that they’re using this beautiful place for something so dark.” You whispered, looking and taking in the details of the manor. It looked enchanting in the morning light.

“You like it?”

“Bucky, one would have to be an absolute idiot to not appreciate the beauty of this place. No neighbours, no one to bother you. Just foggy hills, dense woods and… ooh!” You exclaimed with genuine happiness, forgetting for a moment that you were here on a mission and not sightseeing. “Bucky! There’s a maze!”

“Really?”

You couldn’t look away. You zoomed as much as you could, trying to take in the details. “Yes, an actual maze and it’s huge!” You had the biggest smile on your face. “Oh this is a dream, and… oh look! There’s a minotaur in the middle of the maze!”

Bucky let out a chuckle. “How cliché.”

You kept watching, letting your guard completely down for a moment. You didn’t see Bucky approaching, you didn’t notice the shift, not until it was too late.

“I’m sorry, doll.”

That was the last thing you heard before feeling a burning sensation at the back of your neck, and then darkness and the warmth of Bucky’s chest as he held you to keep you from falling on the ground.

Fuck.

Bucky?

Why would he do that? You didn’t do anything. You were breathing heavily now, looking around for a way out. These windows didn’t open, and the door must be–

It opened right as you stared at it, and in walked Bucky. Dressed differently. He wasn’t in his usual mission gear. No leather jackets, no gun holsters, not even his knives. Just a casual shirt, and comfy trousers. Like this was normal. Like he was at home.

Your eyes widened as this started to make a little more sense. But you didn’t dare think about it properly. He wouldn’t… right? He was your friend. You two had fought together for years. He was one of the good guys… right?

“Buck?”

He shut the door behind him as he stepped further into the room. “I came as fast as I could when they told me you were beginning to wake up.” He said a little sheepishly.

What? But most importantly, “Who’s ‘they’?” You asked, trying your best to put all your training into practice and keeping your calm.

“My housekeepers.” He answered like it was the most obvious thing.

You noted the way he avoided your eyes, the way he kept flexing his metal hand. Bucky was slightly nervous.

You took a step back, pressing against the cold windows. “What is going on? What is this place? Did you…” Your voice cracked as you asked, “Did you drug me?”

“You wouldn’t come willingly.” He answered, staring deeply at the fireplace as he approached it and placed his metal hand on the mantle above. “And you wouldn’t be willing to listen to me.”

Your heart pounded. What was he talking about? “This place, this house is… yours?”

Bucky nodded.

“And there is no guy dealing in dangerous substances, is there?” You figured this was a trap and you walked right into it.

“No.” He answered truthfully. “There isn’t. This is my home. Well, one of them.”

“Bucky,” You whispered, cautiously. Afraid. Wary. His home? Since when? “Why?”

He finally looked at you. The soft fire in the fireplace lit one side of his face and hid the other side in shadows. Fitting, you thought, despite it all. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.” He said, almost like he was offended that you would think so. “I would never hurt you, doll.”

“I want the truth, Buck.” You stared deep into his familiar blue eyes, trying to find your friend in there. And he was there, but he was behind a dark smoke screen. “Please.”

Bucky sighed. “Take a seat.” He said softly, settling down on one of the many sofas scattered around the spacious room.

You didn’t. You remained there by the windows, like the distance between you and him would save you from the dangers you weren’t aware of yet.

He sighed again, “Fine, be difficult then.” He got up, and began walking towards you.

You panicked, remaining frozen in place for a moment. But by the time you moved to get away from him, he was too close. You went to run away but his metal hand firmly around your wrist stopped you.

“I won’t hurt you.” He repeated, pulling you close until you hit his chest, then wrapped his other arms around you. “Believe me,” He said.

You shook your head as you looked into his eyes, the hidden darkness in them. “What happened to you?” You whispered, “Why are you doing this?”

He frowned as if you were the one being ridiculous. “Don’t you see? This place is perfect for us.”

For us?

You noted the strange haze in his captivating eyes. Something was different about him.

“What?” You blinked, ignoring the many questions you had. “Bucky, our friends, they need us.” You tried reasoning, though in vain, “We need to go back. And keep fighting–”

“Back to what?” He argued, cutting you off. “Fight for who?”

“The innocent people, Buck. The ones who are constant victims of our enemies, and–,”

“I was a victim too.” He said, silencing you at once with a dark tone. “No one fought for me.”

He rarely ever brought up HYDRA, so this was new territory to you. You approached it carefully, softening your voice as you said, “Steve did.”

Bucky surprised you by scoffing carelessly. Dropping his voice he said, “And yet, all I ever was to him in the end was disposable.”

That shut you up.

For a moment you felt a fraction of the pain he felt. You always empathised with him, even before you started nurturing that little crush you had on him. “But you have the chance now, Buck.” You tried reasoning, calmly and no longer resisting his grip on your wrist. “Let’s go back, and fight so no one ever has to suffer like you did.”

“No.”

The finality in his tone made you shiver. “So what? You’re gonna keep me captive here and we’re gonna let the bad people win?”

Bucky sighed. “They already won. Don’t you see the state of this world?”

You flinched. “That’s your goal then? To punish the world and everyone in it?”

“Punish it?” He scoffed. “No. I want to see it try and fend for itself. Or watch it die trying.”

“Bucky…” You didn’t recognise the man you were looking at. “We can make a difference, no matter how minor. We’re the good guys, remember?”

He let go of your hand, turned to face the windows pensively. “I’m done being good.”

You remained frozen in place, assessing the situation quickly. He had his back to you, so he was confident you wouldn’t hurt him. He had shut the door on his way in but never locked it. That must mean even if you got past the door, he must’ve made sure you wouldn’t make it out of this house.

But you couldn’t leave, could you? You believed him when he said he wouldn’t hurt you. You wouldn’t leave him here like this. Bucky was hurting, and he was acting this way because of that. But the house? Why bring you here? Why drug you? What did he want?

“Bucky,” You said after taking a deep breath. “You’re my friend, we’ve fought together for years. You rescued me so many times. You took a bullet for me. I know you’re good.”

He shook his head, looking out the window. “I’ve been good, all my life. I was good when I followed Steve and believed in what he stood for. I was good when I was captured, and forced to be a killing machine. I was good, deep down I know I was still good, even when they wiped my mind each time and made me perform however they wanted.”

You flinched, your heart sinking with each word that came out of his mouth.

He continued, as if numb to it all.

“I was desperately good even when I found myself stuck in a wrong, superhuman body. I was good even when everyone around me expected me to get over it and keep fighting like a good little soldier.” He finally turned to you and said, “I’m done, now. What did it ever give me?”

His words hit harder than a punch to the face. “Buck…” You almost comforted him, because there was still your dear friend, broken. But wrong. So wrong to believe there weren't still good things to fight for. “You have people who care for you.”

“Do I?” His tone was mocking. And you didn’t dare reply, so he continued. “I’ve been used in experiments that had no ethical limits. I’ve been a weapon, a commodity. I’ve been a mindless soldier. I’ve been stuck in the body of a murderer. I’ve been a throwaway friend. No one ever cared.”

“I do.”

Bucky was quiet. His shoulders moving just a little as he breathed deeply.

You continued. “And Sam does. And so do all of our friends.” You argued, trying to find something, anything to prove a point, “I mean, all of Wakanda believed in you when they helped you.”

“They did.” He almost smiled in gratitude. “But they never trusted me.” He sounded genuinely sad. “I remained a weapon.” He looked down at his shiny metal arm and added, “So easily dismantled.”

Was this really how you would lose him? To the darkness in his head? Your heart pounded as you looked at him. Standing proud and tall, looking out the window as the darkening evening made the room even dimmer. The last logs in the fireplace cracked. And Bucky was still so beautiful standing by the window, but broken. Like a tortured and grim lord of the manor.

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Buck.” You took a step back when he turned to face you.

“No, it doesn’t.” He agreed, weirdly. Then added, “I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t care about the rest of the world, I’m done being a good little soldier. I just want to be a man.” He took a few more steps until he was right in front of you. His handsome face so close to yours. “And be with the woman I want, in our own quiet little paradise.” His hand reached out to gently stroke your cheek. His metal hand found itself on your waist, tugging you closer gently. “Isn’t this perfect, doll? Hmm?”

You were so surprised that you didn’t even properly register the meaning behind his words until you replayed it in your head a few times. “You… what?”

“You know,” He smirked, fingers now tracing your parted lips. “At first I wondered what was taking you so long to realise. I’m not very good at being subtle with my feelings, you see. But you never caught on.” His smirk widened. “And then I found out why in the best way possible.”

You were afraid to ask for some reasons. “Why?” You whispered.

Bucky leaned in, brushing the cold tip of his nose against your cheek, and said, “Because you like me too, and you were too busy hiding your own feelings that you didn’t pay attention to mine. Wanna know how I know?” He chuckled, “I heard you whispering my name under your breath as you touched yourself. Too many times to count.”

You gasped in surprise, unable to move.

“Well,” He said, “That’s a figure of speech, of course I know exactly how many times. I kept count.” He continued, loving the way you began squirming in embarrassment. “It’s the metal hand, isn’t it? It turns you on?” He chuckled.

“You…” You finally found your voice and stumbled on your words, “You had no right.”

He laughed, pulling away to look at you. “To listen to you moaning my name? Not my fault you’re so loud to my very, very sensitive ears.” He teased.

He was so close. His chest, so warm. His arms around you, so perfect that you almost forgot all about the conversation you had before all this.

You stepped away, and out of his embrace. Taking a deep breath, you tried to focus on the important thing here. “What do you want, Bucky?”

He shrugged, “Well right now I want us to have dinner, it’s getting late and you haven’t eaten all day.”

You sighed. “Then? When I want to leave, you’ll stop me?”

Bucky was so very still. It was inhuman. Then again, he was not exactly just a regular guy. “If I wanted you trapped here you would have woken up tied to the bed, doll.”

“So I can walk away from here if I want?” You asked. No. That would be too easy. Wouldn’t it?

“You could.”

Another trap, you figured. For the first time since this absurd evening started, you straightened your back and faced Bucky with a little less fear, and embarrassment. “You won’t win, Bucky. Not like this.”

He gave you a handsome, smug grin and said, “We’ll talk about all that later. Now, do what you need to do, freshen up,” He pointed at the door in the corner of the bedroom, the bathroom you assumed, “And join me for dinner downstairs.” He leaned in and too casually kissed your forehead. “Don’t keep me waiting, doll.”

And he left. Leaving you even more confused than when you didn’t have any answers.

You thought about it as you reluctantly made your way into the bathroom which was just as dark and luxurious as the rest of the bedroom. Dark green walls, a large white and gold tub, mouldings on the ceiling matching the bedroom, large gilded mirrors and sinks. A spacious shower booth, with fancy faucets and shower heads.

You checked the many cabinets and found everything one could need. The skin care products looked inviting but first of all, you needed a hot shower. You grabbed a neatly folded bathrobe and some body wash products and stepped into the booth.

Then you spent your time thinking about everything. What did you know as of now? That Bucky owned this place, it was his home. That Bucky was done fighting, he had plans to say ‘fuck it all’ and retire. That he liked you back? Fine, he did. He wanted you to stay here with him? And never fight again? That was a whole other thing you had to worry about. But first, how to get out of here?

Also how did Bucky afford this place? Had he always been filthy rich?

What was the endgame here? And if he managed to keep you here, would any of your friends come looking for you? No one even knew where you were, that’s how much you trusted Bucky. The moment he brought this fake mission up you agreed to come with him immediately. Alright, your little crush had had an influence on your decision making but still.

Could you trust Bucky now? It felt foolish to admit, but yes. Yes you could. Bucky would never hurt you.

So you got out of the shower, with more questions and made your way back to the room and found neatly folded clothes on the bed. Soft, comfy, casual clothes. You put them on and took a deep breath before you stepped out of the room.

As you made your way down one of the two ornate staircases, you hoped you’d find Bucky again somewhere down here. Meanwhile you couldn’t help but admire his home. It was… hauntingly beautiful. It was more dark than lit. Rich colours: dark green, dark red, black. Gilded picture frames along the hallways, large foyer, high ceilings, carved designs on almost all the furniture. Everything screamed luxury, expensive taste, old money, and like a home out of another era. An older era.

You couldn’t see any of the housekeepers, but you soon found Bucky sitting at the head of a ridiculously fancy dining table in the dining room.

“There you are,” He said, placing his wine glass down, “I was beginning to think you must be trying to get away.” He teased.

You rolled your eyes and then quickly took in the room. Just as spacious as the rest of the house. A fireplace in a corner, tall arched windows, dark red curtains which allowed just the briefest amount of moonlight to come in. The room was well lit, and you couldn’t miss the grand chandelier above the adorned table and chairs.

Sitting at the head of that table, Bucky reminded you of a bored prince – surrounded by unexplainable luxury which suited him too well.

You took a seat at the other end of the table, facing Bucky fully. He noted your tactic and smirked. Then you said, “I didn't know you were rich.” Because surely super soldiers aren’t getting paid this much.

He shrugged like it was no big deal, “I’m over a century old, doll. I would be an absolute idiot if I didn’t amass a fortune that could last me a couple more lifetimes.”

You also noted the way he used your own words against you, but kept quiet. “Right. But how exactly?”

He explained. “A lot of the people I was asked to... get rid of for HYDRA were influential people. Rich, wealthy, borderline royalty. And they would always try to bribe me just to be spared. They offered me everything I wanted if I let them go.”

He sighed, almost in annoyance of the memories.

He continued, “I couldn't let them go of course, but they always revealed all their secrets during their last moments.” His stare was distant. “And after the job was done, whatever they left behind, whatever they offered, locations of their hidden wealth and riches, it was all mine for the taking.” He added, “And since I was a good little machine, HYDRA never looked too deep into what I did as long as I got the job done.”

Everytime Bucky opened up about his past, you realised that there was so much about him that you didn’t know. “That’s a lot of secrets.”

“Indeed.”

“And this manor? It’s one of the secrets left behind by someone you got rid of as well?”

“No,” He said, “This was built from the ground up. Decades ago.”

Decades. Again, another reminder of how many lives he had lived in the past century. It was almost fascinating. You opened your mouth to ask another question, but the door behind Bucky – which you hadn’t noticed earlier – opened and in walked two ladies with full trays in their hands. One of the trays filled with food, including a glass of wine, was brought over to you.

You eyed the tray for a moment before you sent a questioning glare at Bucky.

“What? Is it a surprise that I know what you like?” There was that smug grin again on his handsome face.

Hunger won over confusion and anger, so you took a bite out of some food before you asked, “How did you put up such a good façade? For so long?” Hiding all of this couldn’t have been easy, right?

“I didn't.” He answered. “I thought a broken soldier was what I needed to be, all I could ever be.” He smiled, “Then I met you and for the first time, I craved a simpler life. One where we could have nothing but time to do what we wanted, and no longer have to partake in fights that aren't ours.”

You genuinely wanted to know, so you asked softly, “Is this truly what you want, Buck? To sit here and say to hell with the world outside?”

“Isn’t it peaceful?” He questioned, “No meetings, or briefings. No country out to get us, no enemies out to kill us.”

You remained quiet. For a little while, you both ate in silence. You could feel Bucky’s eyes on each one of your movements. He kept quiet though, and then you asked, “Why is no one out to get you? Given who you are and who you used to be, one would assume you’d have the most enemies out there.”

“I have friends in all the right places.” He answered.

You frowned. “What does that mean?”

He smirked, “Now, I can’t give away all my secrets, can I?” He said as he stood up, wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “I have some things I need to do, you’ll find your way back to your room?”

You nodded, though suspicious at the sudden freedom.

He whispered a quick ‘good night’ and left. Which made you frown in confusion because why would he leave you here? When you could easily walk out? Was he expecting you to try and escape? Was he hoping you would?

You got up from the table, and carefully walked out of the dining room, stepping into the hallway. You didn’t take the time to admire the scones on the walls, the paintings, anything. All you saw was the foyer and beyond which was the grand entrance of the manor.

Even from the inside you could see the foggy air outside. The fog swirling around like smoke. It looked cold out. Even if you made a run for it, you would be sick and frozen by morning.

You stood there for a moment, steps away from the foyer. There were no cameras, that was the first thing you looked for in the house. None of the housekeepers could be seen, you realised they made themselves scarce.

You should’ve taken the staircase and gone back up to the bedroom. Maybe you’d question Bucky tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow he’d listen. But the front doors looked tempting. And that part of your brain which always went seeking trouble, the part that always pushed you into doing bold things, that part made you move towards the doors.

Chances were that Bucky was watching, and you almost wanted him to see. To see that you couldn’t be kept here. So you went for it. You waited for some kind of alarm to go off as you turned the door knob and pulled open the door, stepping a foot out and then the other. But no alarm came.

The fog messed with your vision, you couldn’t see further than the white marble steps. It was cold and you had no extra layers on. This was stupid. And yet, you took a few more steps down the marble stairs which led to what you assumed would be the front yard.

You were about five steps down before you stopped. There was the silhouette of a male figure standing at the bottom of the stairs, engulfed by the fog. The moonlight made him look like a dark villain. Yet the shiny metal arm gave him away. “I thought you said I could walk away.” You tested the waters.

“I did say you could.” He took a step up the stairs, “I didn’t say I would let you get too far.”

You scoffed, trying your hardest to hide how you shivered in the cold night. The fog was all around you by now. All you could see was the faint outline of Bucky and the white stairs.

“Get back inside,” He ordered. “It’s cold out.”

“I won’t let you make a prisoner out of me.”

“That’s not my goal here.” He sounded reassuring.

“Then let me go.”

“You know I can’t do that, doll.” He took another step, getting closer. You could tell by his stance that he was ready for it, should you want to fight your way out of here.

And you did. You went for it.

First a punch, then a kick. It was hard to keep your balance on marble stairs, but you did your best, just like when you two used to spar while training.

You gave it your all, you tried your hardest to get him off his feet and on the ground and possibly make a run for it, but he anticipated each punch, each kick. You put up a decent fight for a few minutes, grunting at each failed punch and kick.

“I don’t want to hurt you!” He growled, blocking yet another one of your punches.

You didn’t stop, you kept trying until it hurt. Until he managed to have you pinned to the ground, your back hurting against the marble stairs, metal hand around your throat, his muscular body straddling yours right there on the cool marble stairs, the edge of the steps digging into your skin, making you hiss in pain.

“Let go!” You spat bitterly at him, looking up and finding him glaring down at you. His breath fogged against the cold air.

Bucky chuckled. “You forgot you trained you, doll? Hmm? You forgot who taught you everything you know about combat?” Bucky smirked as he leaned down. His face was directly above yours, his nose touching yours. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to walk away all hard after sparring with you?” He leaned just a little closer so his mouth hovered over yours. “It turned you on too, didn’t it? I could smell it then. And I can smell it now.”

That did it. You managed to find enough energy to push him off of you, you were on him the moment his body hit the marble floor, straddling him and pinning him to the ground by the throat just like he did you. You could tell the edges of the stairs were digging into his back too by the way he hissed. But you didn’t let go.

“Enough.” You tightened your grip around his throat. “I won’t play this little game with you.” You breathed heavily, exhausted by now, “You want to stay here and pretend to be some tortured, gothic lord of the manor? Fine! Go ahead. But let me go.”

“You don’t want to go.” He whispered, confidently. He just laid there, under you. Arms limp by his sides even though you knew too well that he could flip you around at any moment he wanted.

“Oh yeah? Is that what you think?”

He smirked. It annoyed you how handsome he was. “I know. If you so desperately wanted to get out of here then by now you would’ve used the knife you snuck into your pocket from the dinner table.” He chuckled. “Can’t do it, can you?”

Damn him. And here you thought you were being slick. You didn’t realise his hands had moved, no longer limp on his sides but now on your legs, fingers reaching for the crease of your thighs, rubbing your skin through the thin PJ pants you wore.

You gasped when his metal hand found its way between your parted legs, caressing you through the layers of clothing you wore. “Don’t you see?” He said, cold fingers moving along your waistband, “I’m doing this for us.” His fingers slipped into your pants, making you gasp even louder as you felt him touching you.

Your face burned as you thought about how many times you’d dreamt of this moment. How many times had you pretended it was his hand touching you. But it was never in these circumstances. Never had you thought it would happen on marble stairs, surrounded by dense fog, in some mysterious manor.

“Bucky,” You whispered, feeling his fingers slowly separating your wet folds, inspecting your slit before he slid one, then a second metal finger into you.

“Yes, baby?” His other hand wandered all over your body as you straddled him, reaching up to cup your face. His thumb traced the shape of your mouth while his two metal fingers slid so perfectly in and out of you, making you ride his fingers just briefly to chase the feeling of them against you. “Doesn’t it feel good? Hmm?” He thrust his fingers deeper into you, his metal thumb gently rubbing your clit, “Does it feel better than your fantasies?”

Damn him.

You couldn’t help but grind against his hand, wanting more and more. You didn’t care about anything right now, all that mattered was how good it felt. How much, much better than your fantasies it was. But you wouldn’t tell him all that.

He didn’t need to be told. He could see it. The way you moved your hips, the way you bit your lower lip to hold back your moans and whimpers, the way you clenched around his fingers. “Come for me, doll.” He whispered, feeling your grip loosen around his throat. “Come all over my fingers like a good girl.”

You hated how quickly you came, grinding against his hand and riding his fingers like a desperate woman. The cold, the fog, your knees digging into the hard marble, none of it mattered as you came, panting and trying your hardest to catch your breath.

“We should head back inside,” He said, catching you just in time as you were about to collapse on top of the stairs, cradling you carefully. “Don’t want you to catch a cold.”

—

Two days later, Bucky asked you during breakfast if you wanted to see the walled garden.

The two of you hadn’t talked much these past two days. You only saw Bucky at meal times, and kept to yourself mostly. The weather had been mostly rainy as well, even thunderstorms at night. It suited the foggy environment really well.

Neither you nor Bucky brought up that night you two fucked. You crossed paths with him these past two days in the dining room, the hallways, and the main living room, but you didn’t say a word to each other. It was painfully awkward.

You didn’t hate what happened. You just didn’t understand. You didn’t understand him, nor this situation. None of it. How can Bucky just switch like that? How did he manage to hide all this? What else could he be hiding?

And this morning, now that the rain had temporarily disappeared and a soft sun was shining, when he offered to show you around the walled garden, it felt like he was extending a peaceful hand. So you agreed immediately. You could use some fresh air. Plus, you figured, you and Bucky would have to talk at some point.

So by mid-morning, you followed him out into the yard. The walled garden was closeby, and it was one of the most beautiful things you’d ever seen. It was huge. The landscaping was incredible, you could tell a lot of care went into it.

This is...," You couldn’t come up with the right words.

There was a pond in the middle. The four stone walls were covered with vines and the tiniest little flowers. The entrance was a moon gate, the entire thing was filled with brick pathways, a small section was dedicated to herbs, but most of the space was occupied by well trimmed hedges and bushes.

"Beautiful, isn’t it?" He looked around, as if trying to see what it looks like from the eyes of someone seeing it for the first time. "I spend a lot of my time here." He sounded so calm as he said it. Like it brought him genuine happiness.

"It's so peaceful here."

You could hear the birds in the nearby trees. You could feel the breeze. The sweet smell of the flowers and slightly stronger scent of the herbs. The cool, damp ground while the smell of the rain lingered. The lush green vines surrounding the walls of the garden. It was more peaceful than it was breathtakingly beautiful.

Its owner looked no less breathtaking. Dressed in simple dark trousers and a dark green sweater, he looked every bit the master of these grounds. He looked so different now, compared to the Bucky you used to know.

"We should talk, Buck." You looked down, playing with the fabric of your soft sweater.

"Yes," He agreed. "You've been ignoring me." He accused.

You couldn’t look up at him, not even when he stepped closer. “Not ignoring you, I just… it’s hard to understand you, Bucky.” You explained. “One moment you were someone I knew for years, a constant in my life and now you’re… I don’t know this new you.”

He remained quiet, listening.

You continued. “Plus you talk about us living here like it was the plan all along.”

“Wasn’t it?” He said, clenching his jaw then unclenching it. You hated how much you liked that. “Finding peace and a home. Wasn’t that the end goal? Or did you plan to sacrifice yourself in combat?”

“Our job is to fight, Buck. We–”

“Who said that?” He argued. “Haven’t we fought enough? Haven’t we given enough?”

You sighed, looking away at the pond like it would have some answers. Then you said, “We can’t just live out here, away from everyone, leave the world to burn and pretend that this isn’t selfish, Buck.”

Bucky shrugged, “Why? Nobody batted an eye when Stark did it.”

“It was different for him.” You said, taking a few steps to reach the nearest rose bush. It had no flowers but you admired it all the same. “He had a family, a kid. He was a married man.”

Bucky scoffed, “That’s it? That’s what it’ll take, then? I can marry you and give you a child.” He sounded partially playful. And it made you roll your eyes.

“Shut up, Buck.”

He chuckled. For a moment it sounded like the many bickerings you two always had as friends. For a moment all of this felt normal, comfortable.

But it couldn’t be, could it?

“You’re gonna have to let me go at some point.”

“No.” He answered, sounding sure of himself as he pulled you into his arms. “I won’t let you go back and fight till it kills you. All so you can protect a world or its people who won’t even care that you died for them.”

“That’s not your choice to make.” You looked up at him, unable to help yourself as you looked down at his soft lips, wondering what they tasted like.

“It is.” He argued, leaning in so his mouth brushed against yours. “We could live normal lives, away from all that. Just you and me. We could travel, see whatever little beauty is left in this world. And just be free. Be us.”

You pushed him away even though all you wanted was to be close to him. “And then what?” You asked, “We’ll be together forever? I have a couple more decades at best. I’m human, remember that.”

He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets and said, “You could change that.”

You frowned. “What does that mean?”

Nothing could’ve prepared you for what he said next. “I have vials of the serum used on me. Not all of it was destroyed over the years.” He sent a curious look your way. “Maybe if you–,”

You shook your head, rushing past him and almost running back into the house. “You’re insane, Bucky Barnes!”

Bucky ran after you, “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that, baby. I didn’t mean right now!”

“No!” You stopped and turned to face him, pointing a finger at his face. “After all that you told me the other night, about being trapped in an alien body and all, now you suggest that you’ll have me take the serum just so you can live out this sick, twisted fantasy you created of us in your head?”

Bucky stepped closer to you, reaching out with his metal arm and pulling you closer to him. “I’m saying you’d have the choice. I would never force you. And you know that.”

You were quiet for a moment, breathing heavily as you stared into his deep blue eyes. You didn’t know why, maybe it was the stress of these past few days and this conversation you two had just had, but your eyes burned as you began tearing up. “What happened to you, Buck?” Your voice cracked as you asked.

You closed your eyes, letting the tears fall down your cheeks. You felt his face getting closer and closer until he pressed his forehead against yours, both his arms circling around you.

“I’m sorry,” He said, “I shouldn’t have said that. I… I don’t know how to keep you close to me.”

You didn’t say anything. You just let him hold you, while you felt that inner turmoil growing.

—

You ignored Bucky again for the next week or so. You stopped showing up to join him for meals, so he resorted to having your food sent up to your room for you. In that week of silent treatment, you’d began talking to the lovely ladies who worked in his home.

The oldest of the two was the most affectionate, and she always brought you extra servings of your favourite desserts. Which you had been ignoring.

One night as she brought your dinner in she said, “He hasn’t been eating well either, you know?”

You pretended you didn’t care. So you didn’t say anything.

The kind lady spoke again, “He’s not bad at heart.”

You couldn’t help but ask, “How long have you known him?”

She smiled fondly, “Decades. I came looking for work when the house was being built. I’m from the nearby town, you see? And my family… Well, they disowned me after I had a child out of wedlock. I had nowhere to go. But James took me in.” She chuckled, “Of course, I’ve grown old since.”

But he remained the same.

She continued, “He’s always been kind. A little cold, maybe. But he’s kind.” She paused and added, “And he’s lonely. He’s trapped, you see? In a world he should’ve never been in. Companionship, perhaps, would make this a little more bearable for him.”

“It’s not so easy to give up what he’s asking me to. He’s asking me to give up everything, to leave it all behind.” Granted there wasn’t much to leave in the first place. You had no family, and the only friends you had were the ones you fought alongside with.

She carefully reached out and touched your cheek. The warmth of her hand made you smile faintly. “We all make sacrifices for love, don’t we?”

You sighed, “I think he’s hurt, and confused.”

She laughed quietly, “Oh James is many things, confused isn’t one of them.”

You frowned. “Do you not see that he’s wrong?” You sounded unsure of yourself for a moment there.

“For choosing to live his life how he wants to? For wanting a better life for you? No.”

Fine then. “What about how he’s keeping me here?”

She smiled again. “You know, he always talks about you since the day you two first met years ago. And he always told me how brilliant you were, how strong and brave you were in combat. How well you did in training and how easily you took down men twice the size of you.” She smiled proudly, even though she’d just met you. “And you know what I think?” She paused, “I think if you really wanted to leave, you would’ve fought your way out of here already.” Then before she left your bedroom she added, “Don’t underestimate how much that man loves you.”

You didn’t sleep all night because you kept replaying that conversation in your head. Over and over again. Were you here, truly, on your own volition after all? Did you subconsciously want this over the violence?

—

The next morning, Bucky was surprised to find you making your way into his library. He watched quietly how you paused at the doorway, wide-eyed and startled.

“You have a library.”

It sounded less awe-struck and more like an accusation. Like how dare he have a whole ass library and not show it to you earlier? Bucky saw a glimpse of the normal you, and he couldn’t help but smile. This was a gift after a whole week of you ignoring him and him pretending like he wasn’t walking around sulking. “Did you lose your way or did you mean to ruin your streak of giving me the silent treatment?”

He smirked when you glared at him.

Damn, his smirk. The way it lit up his handsome face… it had been too long since you’d come. And given he had admitted to having heard you masturbate before, you didn’t dare do it under his own roof. So it was safe to say that you were, maybe, just a little touch-starved and needy.

And him looking this good early in the morning was not helping. Tight black t-shirt, and soft, grey PJ pants. How dare he look this good while you were barely able to make sense of all that was happening?

“We should talk. Properly. No fighting, no arguing.” You said.

Bucky nodded, leaning against a nearby bookshelf. “What about?”

You took a deep breath, “I think I know why I haven’t fought my way out of here yet. Because let’s face it, I could kick your ass if I really wanted to.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

You took a few steps around the room, eyeing the many shelves. It was a grand, two-level library. With ornate metal stairs that led to the top level. It would take a couple of lifetimes to read all the books here. Or maybe just one long super soldier lifetime.

“Because I’m curious.” You admitted. “You were simply my friend before. But–”

He added pompously, “One you have a crush on.”

You ignored that, for now. “But now you’re… someone I don’t know. It’s hard to– it feels different. You feel different. And I can’t help it, but I want to know more. About this life you’re choosing to live. How is it so easy for you to make that choice without any guilt? I want to know.”

Bucky took a moment to process, then asked, “Are you giving me a chance?”

“I’m tired of being angry at you for kidnapping me.” You said, sighing. He opened his mouth to argue but you raised a hand to stop him. “I don’t agree with the way you did things, how you’re keeping me here, but I… I miss you, Buck. I miss us.”

Well, since you were having an honest conversation, Bucky felt comfortable to ask, “Do you still like me?” There was a rare vulnerability in his tone.

You allowed yourself to take a step closer to the shelf he was leaning against. Inching closer to him you murmured, “I would’ve stabbed you that very first night if I didn’t.”

He smiled. You smiled back.

—

Things were gradually getting back to normal after that. Well, about as normal as things can get when you’re forbidden from leaving the grounds of your friend’s manor.

You’d missed your usual morning runs, so you resumed going on runs in the mornings. The grounds were more vast than you thought, it took you days to finally map out the entire place. All except the maze. You always ran by it, or around it, never daring to go inside it. Not yet.

After your runs, and a quick shower, you’d always join Bucky for breakfast. Over time, you learned so much about him and the life he had here. It wasn’t just this magnificent home he owned, but numerous farms and multiple businesses in the small town nearby.

Your ‘relationship’ with him changed as well. While the two of you didn’t have sex again, the tension was beginning to get too much to ignore. Quick kisses in the mornings, and lingering kisses at night. Oftentimes you were tempted to ask Bucky to spend the night with you, but you thought it’d be best to wait. After all, this was all so new.

For the first time in years, you were actually contemplating leaving the ‘superhero’ duties behind and choosing yourself. It was hard not to constantly taste the guilt whenever you found yourself so close to giving into Bucky, and choosing what he was offering.

—

“Do you really have the serum?”

You asked one morning, while the two of you chose to have breakfast in the library. It was a rainy morning, and the library had massive windows so Bucky suggested you spend the morning there, knowing how much you liked it when it rained.

You agreed. Who would say no to breakfast, good books, and a rainy morning?

Then you got curious, and asked about the serum.

Bucky nodded. “I managed to get my hands on a few vials.”

Your eyes widened. “A few? How the hell did you do that?”

Bucky had a humourless smile on his face. “They tended to give me some freedom whenever I took part in their…more peculiar experiments.”

You were quick to say, “We don’t have to talk about it if–,”

He cut you off and explained nonetheless, “They were trying to see if they could create a new generation of super soldiers naturally.”

You wanted so much to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. Not out of pity, no. Just to remind him of how strong he is and how far he’s come. How he didn’t deserve all that he went through.

“I had the chance, and I just took some of the vials and hid them out here.”

“Can I ask why?”

He kept that same humourless smile. “Out of desperation I guess. I secretly hoped that one day someone might want to be with me. And if needed, I could keep them with me for longer than their human life would naturally allow.”

“Oh, Buck.”

You couldn’t help yourself then. You stood up, walked around the small coffee table and sat on the arm of the sofa Bucky was currently sat on. Behind him, rain hit the window mercilessly as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into you.

He leaned into the hug for a moment, before pulling onto his lap then properly hugging you. He shoved his face into your neck, just breathing. His arms around you were not letting you go anytime soon.

“I need you.” He murmured against your neck, beginning to lightly kiss your skin. “Please,” He whispered.

The desire in his voice couldn’t go unnoticed, and you were barely able to hold back either so you quickly straddled him properly. Thankfully the dress you’d chosen for today allowed you to move comfortably.

Bucky hands were eager, touching you everywhere he could, greedy for more. He grabbed you by the hips and pressed you down, onto his prominent erection. He watched how you whimpered, how your hands found themselves under the tight fabric of his shirt, pressing against his chest, feeling him.

Bucky smirked when he felt your hands moving down his chest, further down until you were rapidly undoing his pants and freeing his throbbing cock. He caught the way you whimpered under your breath at the sight of him, then you went on to wrap your hand around him, slowly stroking him, making him throw his head back and groan under his breath. “Fuck, that feels good, baby. That’s it, keep going.”

You leaned in close to him again, “I want you,” you whispered against his lips and then pressed your mouth to his. You slipped your tongue past his lips and slowly stroked the top of his mouth, unable to pretend any longer.

He growled into your mouth, into the kiss as his hands rubbed up and down your sides lovingly. “Take me then. I’m all yours.”

You didn’t waste any more time. You pulled away from the kiss briefly, lifting your lower body off his. Bucky helped by pulling your thin underwear to the side – both too impatient to properly take your clothes off – and he watched how you slowly lowered yourself down on his cock.

Your body resisted just a little to fit him inside, but then he pulled you down till you sank down on him completely, both of you moaning at the feeling.

Bucky grabbed your hips in place and gently thrust his hips up and you moaned wantonly as you felt him fill you up. “Fuck, baby… such a good girl for me.”

You whimpered as the tip of his cock reached sensitive places you never knew existed. You took a good look at the man beneath you. He was beyond beautiful. Lips parted, breathing heavily. It gave you a warm rush to see him this worked up knowing you were the reason why.

You moved faster then, impaling yourself down on his cock. You whimpered shamelessly as you felt him filling you up completely each time, feeling him reach deeper into you with each thrust. His metal hand slipped between the two of you and found your clit, he rubbed it lazily.

“This little cunt was made for me, wasn’t it?” He groaned, looking up to watch how you frowned in pleasure. “All for me…”

You leaned down to kiss him, biting down and tugging at his bottom lip while you sped up, and his cock stretched you out each time he filled you up. “You feel so good,” You mumbled.

Bucky pulled your warm body closer to his. Your lips brushed against his each time you moved up and down his cock. “You’re mine.” He said. “You hear me?”

You nodded, feeling him stretch you out as you stared into his eyes. Bucky held you at your waist and rhythmically thrust his hips up each time to match your movements. Brows furrowing and panting while you rode his cock.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He panted against your cheek, kissing the side of your face and gripping your jaw with his hand. “Tell me you’re mine to fuck, to love, and care for. Tell me.”

“All yours…” You didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, and he kept thrusting his hips up into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out loud as you came, hard, feeling your walls squeezing and clenching around him as you came undone. You panted and leaned forward, pushing your face into his neck to catch your breath.

Bucky came right after you, his warm load spilling inside of you, filling you up as he wrapped his arms around you and pressed your trembling body closer to him.

You laid your head on his shoulder, catching your breath, as you thought of a lot of things. The main one being, you didn’t hate this at all. You wouldn’t mind if this was your daily life. Maybe it was the post-sex brain but, this felt so right and you didn’t ever want to leave this moment.

—

It was hard keeping your hands to yourselves for the following days. You and Bucky began sleeping in the same bed.

On days when the weather was good, Bucky would take you out and show you around the little town. It was cosy and perfect, and had the best bakeries in the world. Then he would take you to the many farms he owned, and you saw genuine happiness on his face. Like this calm life was indeed all he wanted.

And time just flew by. You no longer kept track of days.

One evening, Bucky asked, “Have you been in the maze yet?”

You linked your elbow to his as the two of you made your way downstairs, and said, “Not yet. It looks… I don’t know, intimidating. And it’s huge, I worry I’ll get lost.”

Bucky chuckled. “Want me to take you?”

“Right now? But it’s getting dark.”

“Come,” He led you to the front door, crossing the foyer, “It’s prettier at night anyway.”

It was dark out, but there were golden lights placed all around the tall hedge maze. It wasn’t too lit up but just enough to create the right ambiance and allow one to roam around comfortably. It was colder inside, you realised as you held onto Bucky’s hand and let him guide you deeper and deeper inside.

The fog was beginning to float around, settling just above the ground the deeper you went inside the maze. You shivered, despite the coat Bucky insisted you wore before stepping out of the house.

“Don’t be scared, baby.” Bucky reassured you as he wrapped his arm tighter around you. “I’m right here.”

The maze wasn’t creepy by any means. Like everything else on these grounds, it was hauntingly beautiful. Timeless. Like it knows too much, like it was alive and it remembered. It was inviting, even as you went deeper and deeper until you reached the middle. And faced the gigantic water fountain, in the middle of which, placed on a stone pedestal was the minotaur statue.

It felt alive too. Like he was waiting for a command to move.

The middle area was spacious, tidy and beautiful. With alcoves, benches, bird feeders, and brick pathways. And in the dark, with fog swirling around, it looked like a scene from a movie.

Bucky stood back and let you take it all in. He watched how you slowly walked around the fountain, admiring the intricate details, admiring the statue.

Then you asked, “Why the minotaur?” You stopped at the other side of the fountain, watching Bucky through the soft streams of water that fell.

Bucky smiled. “For dramatics, mostly. I like the myth.”

You chuckled. “I see.”

Bucky shoved his hands into his coat pockets and asked, “You ever wonder what truly happened to the maidens that were sent into the minotaur’s maze?”

“They were never seen again. He either ate or killed them according to the myths.” You answered.

He nodded, “Or maybe he didn’t hurt them. Maybe they just never wanted to leave.”

Ah. So he was speaking in riddles again. “Like how you don’t want me to ever leave?”

“You won’t.” He sounded too sure, yet again.

“You sound very sure.” You watched him carefully.

Bucky smiled, “You forget that I know you, doll. Better than you know yourself.” He paused, then added, “You find comfort in the darkness too.”

“Comfort?”

Bucky remained on the other side of the fountain as he spoke, the fog swirling around him almost like he ordered it to. “You think I don’t know you have trouble sleeping? That the nightmares bother you too? Of all the missions we’ve been on, the people we’ve had to kill for some greater good? Cities we demolished? Houses and families we tore apart? All in the name of being altruistic heroes?”

Suddenly you had trouble breathing.

Bucky continued, this time walking around the fountain and slowly getting closer to you, “That’s why you like running, isn’t it? You pretend you’re running from it all. You pretend you’re free. That you can finally escape it all and put an end to it. You run till your legs get numb, till your lungs burn. Till each breath hurts. So it can finally feel like well-deserved punishment.”

“Stop.” You audibly gasped for air this time, as your eyes began watering. You no longer felt the cold. No longer felt the dampness of the fog. Nothing, but the ache in your chest.

“I’ve been there, doll. No matter what you do, it doesn’t go away. The guilt doesn’t go away. Not until you stop and walk away from that life.”

“Bucky, please…” You turned around, not able to face him anymore as the tears fell down your cheeks. You heard him getting closer. You felt his warmth against your back as he placed his arms around you, pulling you in.

“Maybe that’s why the maidens never left the maze.” He said. “Maybe they realised that his darkness was better than the cruel world who reduced their pure hearts and souls to being mere sacrifices.”

The night had gotten colder somehow. The wind had picked up, like it was about to rain. The fog clinging to the hedges was thicker now.

“Stay with me.” He whispered into your ear. “It’s chaos out there. Stay here with me.”

You sniffled quietly. “I’m scared, Buck.”

The rain came then. Light drizzle, then slowly getting heavier. Bucky pulled you to the nearest alcove and kept you safe and warm between the stone wall and his muscular body, sheltering you from the rain.

“I’m here.” He reassured you.

“I’m scared.” You repeated, holding onto him like he was the only thing you’d ever hold.

Bucky pressed his lips against your forehead, “I know, baby. I know.” He murmured. “But I see you. You'll never have to pretend with me. I know you’re tired, of fighting, of being good and getting nothing in return. It’s okay to stop, baby. We’ll never have to fight or kill again.” He sounded hopeful. “We’ll be happy here.” So hopeful, and pure that it hurt. “I’m here, doll. It’s okay.”

You couldn’t help but kiss him. Bucky kissed you back ferociously, like he’d held back all those times before, but now he no longer could. His hands wandered, pulling your dress up quickly as he knelt in front of you before you could even process it.

He pressed his lips to your inner thighs, kissing you wherever he could as his fingers lowered your underwear down to your ankles. You stepped out of it as his mouth got closer and closer to your dripping core.

“Bucky…” You sighed, as you felt his breath against your wet folds. You couldn’t help but slide your fingers into his soft hair, as he brought his mouth over to your clit, sucking on it hard enough to make you squirm in pleasure, your back digging into the stone wall of the alcove.

His tongue slid up and down your folds, teasing your entrance, occasionally flicking your clit. “So fucking good,” He whispered, hands caressing and groping your thighs as he ate you out. His tongue slowly circled your throbbing clit.

He parted your legs further as he slowly brought a metal finger up to your clit, watching it sliding agonisingly slowly down your slit, parting your wet folds.

You shivered under his cold touch, then bit your lip to refrain from moaning too loudly. You sighed, then gasped audibly as he slid a metal finger inside you, stroking your walls gently while he placed his mouth back on your clit. “Please…” You begged, wanting more.

Lips brushing against your wetness he asked, “Will you promise to stay here with me? Forever?” He growled as you kept whining and squirming under his addicting touch, “Answer me.”

“Yes…” You whispered, breathless and wanting. “Yes, I will.” You moaned.

He smirked against your wet skin before standing back up, enjoying the way you whined in protest. “You’re mine.” He said.

You whined again, “Bucky, please…”

He chuckled and undid his pants before picking you up and kissing you deeply as he pinned you to the wall. Your legs wrapped around his waist and his cock briefly brushed against your wet folds, making you shiver at the brief contact.

You couldn’t take the teasing anymore. Moaning into the kiss you said, “Bucky please,” You begged, “I need you. I need you… please.” You whispered.

Bucky kissed down your neck, peppering it with kisses as he aligned his throbbing tip with your entrance. Slowly, he pushed himself into you. His fingers digging into your skin as he held you by your hips, and yours holding on to his shoulders as he filled you up nicely.

“This is all you wanted? Hmm?” He groaned, moving just the slightest bit. “You’re so perfect, baby.”

He held you up against him as he sped up into you. He dipped his head into the crook of your neck and mumbled, “You’ll always be mine.” He growled, “And we’ll be happy forever here.”

Behind him, just beyond the shelter of the alcove, the rain was getting heavier. Louder. But with your heartbeats echoing in your ears you could barely focus on it.

You whined just a little louder this time and his mouth soon found yours again. He nibbled on your bottom lip and you let out shaky breaths as he kept fucking into you relentlessly, earning more and more moans out of you each time his cock stroked your walls perfectly.

Bucky nibbled on the skin under your ear and you lost it. Your thoughts became cloudy and all you could focus on was his body and his cock inside of you.

You whimpered, “Can I please come?”

“Go on, baby.” He mumbled softly against your skin while he fucked you like an animal, “Come all over my cock,” He spoke, fucking you harder and deeper.

Your throbbing clit rubbed against his pelvic bone each time he buried himself completely in you and it was hard to even think coherently.

He quickened his pace, whispering, “Mine… ” in your ear as he pounded into you as fast as he could, your back slamming into the stone wall with each thrust.

You could hear the sounds of your skin slapping against each other over the heavy rain. Your legs started to shake around him as he quickened his pace, now pounding into you mercilessly.

“Come for me, doll.”

You couldn’t hold back anymore. So, you came undone around his cock, whining and whimpering. Walls clenching around him, nails scratching down his neck and a strained moan escaping your mouth as you came hard. More tears streaming down your face.

He came right after you did, cock throbbing against your pulsating walls, moaning into your ear when he felt your walls clenching violently around him.

He didn’t pull out immediately. He just kept his cock carefully buried in you. He relished your warmth and leaned in to kiss you again, passionately, much more gentle than before. “I’ve got you,” He murmured. “You’re safe with me.”

The epiphany of it all made you unable to stand on your two feet for too long. You briefly remembered Bucky carrying you all the way out of the maze, into the house and up the stairs.

You fully came back to your own body only after Bucky had submerged you in a warm bath. With him seated behind you and caressing your spent body.

“Are you okay, doll?”

You nodded, sitting with your back to his chest. “I’m okay.” You whispered.

Bucky’s hand rubbed your back in a soothing way that had you sighing in bliss. Then he said, “I’ll take you somewhere nice tomorrow.”

You smiled with your eyes closed, leaning into his touch. “Where?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“How many more secrets have you kept from me?”

He chuckled. “Enough that it would take you a lifetime to uncover them all.”

“You have a lot of faith in the durability of this relationship.” You teased.

“Hmm, I do.” He sighed as he left soft kisses all over the side of your face. Outside the rain was getting harsh and loud again. But here, everything was warm and perfect. “You can’t run from me.” He teased.

Couldn’t you? You sighed. Did you even want to anymore?

Maybe you would end up finding comfort in the darkness with him. In the familiarity of his arms. In the warmth of his touch and smiles. Hell, maybe you’d be willing to take the serum one day. But all that for later, being here was all that mattered right now.

You leaned your head back onto his shoulder, back pressing against his chest as you let him hold you.

A lifetime… yeah that didn’t sound too bad.

Bucky kissed your forehead as you leaned your head back, resting it on his shoulder. Safe, satisfied, and in his arms. He often dreamed of this. He kissed your forehead again as he smiled. He knew what you must be thinking about. He could almost hear it.

He knew you were having a slight hard time accepting all this, choosing it. The guilt would go away in time. He would do whatever it takes to help you adjust to your new life. And everything would be perfect then.

There was a small voice in his head that told him that he shouldn’t ignore the possibility that this could be a ruse. That you were playing along, trying to earn his trust, waiting for him to have his guard down so you could run from here.

Bucky smirked as he leaned his head back against the edge of the tub, his arms firm around you as you both soaked in the last few moments of the warm water before it got cold.

He wasn’t stupid, and you were a very smart woman, so of course he’d thought about that possibility. And though he knew the chances of this being true were very slim, he couldn’t just sit and wait. Could he? That’s why he took all the precautions he could beforehand.

He made sure, even if you were to leave him and run back to what used to be your ‘normal’ lives, that there was nothing left for you to go back to.

There was no one left. Another secret of his, tucked away.

But he would always be here for you. Bucky turned his head and kissed your forehead again. He vowed to love you enough that, like the maidens in the myths, you’d never want to leave his maze either.

Fin.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #bucky x reader #bucky barnes smut #marvel #avenger!reader

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punkshort · 4 months

Text

somewhere to run | 1. a fresh start

Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: After you settle into your tiny, dingy apartment safely in the middle of nowhere, you go on the hunt for a job to help make ends meet. There, you meet someone who forces back memories you would rather forget.

Chapter Warnings: language, slow burn, PTSD-type symptoms

WC: 6K

Series Masterlist

Anybody else who walked into the small, one bedroom apartment you were currently standing in would most likely be revolted. The kitchen faucet dripped incessantly, the toilet was stained, the carpet looked like it hadn't been cleaned in a decade, and the entire place smelled like garlic from the pizza place downstairs. But when you looked at it, you smiled. You could work with this. Rummaging around the dollar store bags you left on the kitchen counter, you pulled out all of the cleaning supplies you picked up and got to work.

The landlord - who also happened to be the owner of the pizza place - seemed surprised you wanted to rent it. He said the place had been vacant for close to a year, and considering the state, he knocked off quite a bit on the price. But you could see the potential beyond the grime, and you never shied away from a little hard work, so you jumped at the opportunity. It took you almost the whole day, but you managed to get the place smelling halfway decent. The bathroom and kitchen both looked sparkling new - well, relatively. The only thing you couldn't figure out was the faucet, but that concerned you the least since your landlord said that utilities were included.

Aside from the low rent, the next best thing about the place was it came partially furnished. It had a queen bed, a beat up sofa, and a rickety dining room table, but that was all you needed. At this point, you were just happy to not be staying in another dirty motel. You were ready to find a home, plant down some roots, and start fresh. And Fredericksburg, Texas was just as good a town as any.

You were surprised by how cute the town was when you first drove down Main Street. It was quiet and quaint, and very much had a small town atmosphere. When you were at the dollar store, you had overheard the cashier making conversation with every single customer as if she had known them all her life. By the time it was your turn to cash out, she examined you quizzically, most likely trying to place you, but fortunately she let it go and didn't pry. You weren't in the mood to make up more lies. You were exhausted from being on the road so much the past few weeks, and you just wanted to collapse into bed in a somewhat clean room.

And that is exactly what you did, after you stocked the small fridge with some essentials from the grocery store at the corner of the street so you would at least have coffee and something to eat in the morning.

As you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling fan swirling above, you silently thanked your grandmother all those years ago who told you since you were old enough to understand when you meet a man, keep your own bank account. At the time, you laughed, wondering why on earth anyone would purposely keep secrets from their partner. That it seemed like such a betrayal to even suggest it. But luckily for you, when you met Patrick, you already had your own bank account. You let it lie dormant for a while, almost forgetting you had it. Eventually, you told yourself you should close the account. But that required going down to the branch in person, and you never seemed to find the time to do it. Or maybe some part of you always knew there was something ugly about him, and maybe your grandmother's words had more of an effect on you than you realized.

Whatever it was, it's the reason you were able to find a shitty little apartment in the middle of nowhere without anybody being able to track you down. And for the first time in a long time, you closed your eyes and felt safe.

The next morning, after you drank your surprisingly palatable off brand coffee and ate a borderline stale blueberry muffin, you headed down the steps of your apartment to the sidewalk lining Main Street. You took a deep breath and looked around, a small smile playing on your lips. The town was just waking up, businesses just opening their doors, cars rolling lazily down the street. You had your own car - it was an old Honda Civic that you weren't entirely sure had many years left - but you wouldn't need it today. Picking an apartment on the main drag in town afforded you the option to walk almost anywhere. So you chose a direction and started walking, glancing in the windows of the shops, looking for any help wanted signs.

You tried a small clothing boutique and a coffee shop before entering the pharmacy. There wasn't a help wanted sign out front, but you needed to pick up a few things, anyway. Things the dollar store didn't have, or things you didn't exactly trust to buy there.

You grabbed a basket by the door and smiled at the teenager behind the counter who greeted you before heading down the first aisle. You snagged some generic pain reliever and a box of tampons before you made your way to the hair products. Flipping open the caps, you took a hesitant sniff and put them back before deciding on a cheaper bottle that smelled like strawberries and didn't make you gag. Dropping the bottles in your basket, you wandered past the makeup, looking at it longingly but knowing you wouldn't waste the money on it. Instead, you stopped in front of an end-cap where a display of chapstick caught your eye.

"Sarah?" you heard a deep voice call from behind. You ignored it and kept looking at the display, landing on a vanilla scent as the man walked past. You didn't see his face, but you smelled his cologne, and you instantly recoiled. Your heart began to slam in your chest and your throat felt tight. You squeezed your eyes shut as you focused on taking deep breaths. It's not him, it's not him, it's not him.

"Excuse me, can I grab one of those?" a girl's voice said softly behind you. Taking a shaky step back, you nodded and forced a weak smile.

"Sorry, of course," you told her. She had beautiful, dark brown eyes and thick hair with tight curls framing her face. She looked like she was in her early teens, and based on the backpack over her shoulders, you were probably right.

"Sarah?" you heard the voice call again, and you saw her eyes flick up. You realized the man with the cologne was probably related to her, and you weren't sure you would be able to handle smelling it again, so you quickly took off down the next aisle to hide, waiting until their voices carried them to the cash registers and out the front door before taking a few steadying breaths and forcing yourself to move.

Minor setback aside, you had a pretty good morning. You found you had some luck at the diner a few blocks over. The owner took a liking to you right away and interviewed you on the spot.

"You came at the perfect time, darlin'," he said, taking a seat across from you. "Just missed the breakfast rush, so I got the time to talk right now. Name's Tommy," he said, extending his hand. You smiled and shook it, introducing yourself, then quickly brought your hand back to your lap to nervously fidget with the hem of your shirt.

"You ever work in a restaurant before?"

"Uh, yeah, it's been a few years. But I think it's like riding a bike. I have really good time management skills, I have experience handling cash, I'm friendly, I'm great at anticipating customer's needs-"

Tommy laughed and patted his hand on the table.

"Sounds like you got more skills than half the waitstaff I already got. Some of the older ladies ain't exactly friendly, but they've been here so long, no one seems to mind," he explained quietly with a wink. You chuckled and glanced down at your hands.

"You from around here? I don't think I recognize you," he asked, his eyebrows pinching together. You shook your head.

"Nope, just moved here." You briefly wondered if you should lie - you were so used to lying at this point, it came as second nature - but you couldn't see what it would hurt to tell him the truth. "I'm from Pennsylvania. Just got in last night, actually."

"Long way from home, what brought you here?" he asked, leaning back to study you. You just shrugged.

"Looking for a fresh start," you said honestly. If you were really looking to start over, the lying needed to stop, too.

Tommy nodded and glanced behind you before meeting your gaze again.

"Well, you're hired. If you want the job, that is," he said. You grinned, not expecting that.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. When can you start?"

"Uh, tomorrow?" you offered, your mind racing. You weren't sure if you would need new clothes so you wanted to give yourself the rest of the day, at least, to prepare.

"Works for me. Maria," Tommy called over your shoulder. You turned around and saw a beautiful woman with long, dark braids walking over. He introduced her as his wife, who also happened to be the hostess. You stood to shake her hand, exchanging warm smiles as Tommy told her your name.

"Why don't you come by tomorrow 'round 9 and Maria can show you the ropes? I work the kitchen, she's got the floor," he explained, and you nodded along excitedly.

"I'll be here," you confirmed, the grin still plastered on your face. Tommy left to head back to the kitchen as Maria told you what you needed to bring the next day. You took out your new phone and began jotting down everything she mentioned.

On the way back home, you stopped to pick up a pair of nonslip sneakers from a shoe store. Maria had given you a couple plain black skirts and black t-shirts with the diner's logo that all of the waitresses wore as their uniform before you left. To celebrate, you got a pizza from the pizza place below your apartment and watched old reruns on the ancient TV in your living room.

Things were finally starting to come together.

"Refills are free. Cream and sugar is down here, along with any extra condiments. Coffee should be made every hour but you'll go through the pot long before that," Maria said to you, pointing as she walked behind the counter. "Here's some extra notepads and pens. The computer system is kind of old but pretty easy to use. Tommy'll ring the bell when food is up, we try to move it as quick as possible before it gets cold, even if it's not your table," she said, turning around to face you. "It might take some time to learn the table numbers but we have a little cheat sheet next to all the registers. And if you're ever not sure, don't hesitate to ask."

"I think I got it," you said confidently, tapping your pen against your notepad.

"You can shadow with Betty today, she's been here for decades, long before Tommy and me ever bought the place. She knows her shit forwards and backwards," Maria said, leading you back to the kitchen where you saw an older, round woman struggling with a cardboard box.

"Here, let me help," you told her, rushing over to take the box from her.

"Thanks, sweetie," she said with a smile. "Can you take it up front for me?"

"Of course," you said, following her through the kitchen.

Maria introduced you to Betty as you helped her stock the ketchup bottles underneath the front counter. You heard Tommy's voice call for Maria through the kitchen window and she excused herself, leaving the two of you to tend to the only two customers in the place.

The morning went by quickly. Betty was nicer than you expected. In your experience, when a newcomer joins a seasoned team, it sometimes takes time for the veterans to warm up, but she seemed very eager to show you the ropes, and she had the patience of a saint. All of the customers seemed to know her name and history, some occasionally asking about her husband or her children. As it inched closer to noon, the diner started getting busier again, so you began to branch out a bit on your own, taking a few simple orders and delivering food or refills whenever you could. Betty was deep in conversation with a regular when she waved you over.

"D'you mind takin' care of him?" she asked, nodding over to the man who just sat down. "That's Joel, Tommy's brother. Don't charge him for nothin', he comes in all the time."

You nodded and pulled your pen and notepad out of your apron as you headed over to greet him. When you finally lifted your gaze, you noticed he was wearing a worn, brown suit with a striped tie and as you got closer, you saw the little gold star pinned to his belt and the bulge of a handgun under his blazer.

Your breath got caught in your throat when you made the realization he's a cop.

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine you kept repeating to yourself, forcing your feet to move. You thought you were okay by the time you stood in front of him, but then his cologne invaded your senses, and you had to squeeze your eyes shut. Fuck.

Fortunately, his head was bent down looking at the menu and didn't see your reaction, which afforded you a few precious seconds to collect yourself. It's not him.

"Hey Betty, I'll have-" he glanced up and realized you were not, in fact, Betty. His warm brown eyes trailed over your face for a moment too long, making you shift your weight nervously.

"Sorry, didn't uh - have we met?" he asked, his eyes unblinking as he continued to stare, and you felt the heat creeping up your neck. It's fine, you're fine.

"No," you finally managed to squeak out, shaking your head and introducing yourself right as his eyes drifted to your name tag. "What can I get for you?"

You needed to walk away. You weren't sure how much longer you could stand there smelling that fucking cologne and staring at that badge. But for some reason, he didn't answer you. Maybe if you weren't so wrapped up in your own issues, you would have recognized the look in his eye. The look that clearly expressed interest beyond you taking his food order. And maybe, if you weren't so messed up, you would have realized he was insanely handsome. Maybe, if you could have seen past the cologne and the gold star on his waist, you would have noticed how plush his lips looked, or how big and strong his hands were. You had no idea how you could possibly miss how broad his shoulders were or how thick and soft the messy, dark curls were on top of his head.

But you did miss all of those things the first time you saw him, because he just kept staring and the scent was making your stomach turn and the fluorescent light was shining too brightly off that damn star, so you repeated yourself with a little more edge to your voice than you usually had.

He finally snapped out of it and glanced down at the menu, quickly telling you his order. You wrote it down and held your breath, only letting it go once you were around the corner and far enough away. He comes in all the time, Betty's words replayed in your mind. You were either going to need to find a way to deal with your issues, or find a new job.

"Hiya, Joel. New girl take care of you?" Betty asked as she ambled over to refill his coffee. His eyes flicked around the diner, following your form as you smiled and chatted warmly with other customers.

"Yeah, when did she start?" he asked, trying to sound noncommittal, but Betty saw right through it.

"Today," she told him with a smirk. "Real smart. Pretty, too, don'tcha think?"

"Uh," Joel stammered before clearing his throat. "Yeah, suppose so."

"I think she's single," Betty told him, leaning up against the counter.

"When are you gonna quit tryin' to set me up with every woman in this town?" Joel asked her with a grin.

"Whenever you decide to finally settle down," she shot right back. "You need a woman in your life, Joel."

"Do you do this to all your customers, Betty? Grill 'em 'bout their love lives and tell 'em what they need, like you know best?"

"I do know best, Joel," she said with a wink. "And you know it."

"Yeah, well. I got my hands full with Sarah and work down at the station. Don't got time for all that," he said, taking a sip of his black coffee.

"Sarah's 'bout to be goin' off to college before you know it, and there ain't nearly enough crime in this town to keep you that busy," she said with a shake of her head.

Joel mumbled something under his breath before taking another sip of coffee and glancing around the dining room.

"What was that?" Betty asked, leaning in and cupping her ear. Joel sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Don't think she likes me much, anyway," he said, clearer now.

"Oh, well I can find out for you, sugar. All you gotta do is ask." Betty gave Joel the biggest shit eating grin she could muster. He took a deep breath before asking what he knew would be a huge mistake, but he suddenly needed to know the answer.

"Can you..." he trailed off, chewing the inside of his cheek and staring down at the closed menu.

"Can I what?"

Joel groaned and dragged his eyes back up to Betty.

"Can you find out if she'd be interested?" he finally spit out, and Betty clapped her hands.

"Of course I will, Joel! I would absolutely love to," she gushed, and he rolled his eyes again. Just then, he saw you come around the corner and go behind the counter, completely ignoring the two of you before reaching up to the kitchen window and grabbing his lunch. You turned around and gave him what looked to be a forced smile and carefully set the plate down in front of him with a bottle of ketchup. Betty took a step back and watched with a glimmer in her eye as Joel's neck began to flush.

"Can I get you anything else?" you asked. Your voice sounded sweet and you were smiling, but your smile didn't reach your eyes. Maybe he was reading too much into it.

"Nope, all set, thank you," he said, giving you a warm smile in return, but before he even had a chance to say anything else, to try to make a connection and learn more about you, you scurried away. He glanced over at Betty and raised his eyebrows.

"See?"

She waved him off and picked up a rag to wipe down the counter.

"She's just nervous, is all."

The embarrassment still sat with you by the time you arrived back to your apartment that evening. When Betty caught you off guard and asked what you thought of Joel, you couldn't turn down the idea fast enough. You must have looked and sounded crazy based on her reaction. Your only saving grace was Joel had already left the diner and didn't hear you vehemently tell her you wanted nothing to do with him. It wasn't his fault, you weren't interested in hurting his feelings, but you were far too vulnerable still. The wounds were too fresh and the memories were too strong.

Besides, even if you weren't in the unfortunate position you were in, you wouldn't feel right dragging even more people down with you. You dug this grave, so you had to dig yourself out. And you were on the right track, too. As far as you knew, nobody knew where you were. You were incredibly careful, you kept a low profile, and you didn't contact a single person back home. You had no idea who you could even trust anymore, so the safest bet was to just cut all ties and start over.

You weren't going to risk everything by getting involved with some guy. Okay, he was more like a man. But still. Your situation was far too complicated to get involved with anybody. Technically, you shouldn't get involved with anybody.

No, it was a very bad idea.

So why couldn't you stop thinking about him?

"Stop it," you muttered out loud to yourself as you paced around your little apartment. With a huff, you picked up the small potted plant you bought on clearance and gave it a little bit of water from the dripping kitchen sink before putting it back on the windowsill.

Remember what he smelled like? Remember he's a cop?

That did the trick. Those two simple reminders erased all prior thoughts about the handsome sheriff who visited the diner earlier that day.

And as you tucked yourself into bed that night, you convinced yourself the only reason who were momentarily intrigued by the man's interest was flattery. You were simply flattered someone looked at you in that way. It's been a long time since anybody had, and it just made you feel good.

Yep, that's all it was.

When Joel sat down at the counter the next day and was greeted by Betty instead of you, he was surprised to find he was disappointed. He had just met you, he knew nothing about you, he barely even spoke to you. Why should he care if you were waiting on him today or not?

"She ain't here," Betty said when she caught Joel glancing around the dining room. He tried not to look deflated.

"Who?"

Betty laughed heartily at that and had to pause to catch her breath so she wouldn't spill his coffee.

"Listen, Joel," she said, setting the coffee pot down and leaning on the counter. "Remember what I said yesterday? 'Bout how I always know what's best?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, eyeing her up and bracing for what was coming next.

"Well, turns out I might have been wrong. There's a first time for everythin', right?" she said, forcing a laugh that he didn't reciprocate.

"What'dya mean?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I don't think she's interested in datin' anyone right now," was all she said, and he felt the disappointment instantly flood his veins. He didn't even realize how much he had been hoping his instinct was wrong, that maybe he misread you, but of course he was right. He was a cop, after all. He was good at reading people, it's what he was trained to do.

"That's it?"

"I don't know, Joel. Maybe she's not into men, I didn't ask any more questions," she said. "Besides, I was thinkin'. Margaret's daughter is back in town. You remember Nikki?"

Joel shrugged and turned back to his coffee. He remembered Nikki. He wasn't interested in Nikki. She was a nice girl, but he didn't feel anything when he looked at her. Not like the way he felt when he looked at you.

"Now I know for a fact that Nikki's had a crush on you since you were in high school. I could talk to Margaret at church this weekend..."

"No thanks," Joel said immediately, then glanced at his watch before standing up and tossing a tip down on the table. "Gotta get back to work, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

He turned on his heel and left before Betty had a chance to reply.

What a stupid idea. What did he expect would actually happen? That you would fall in love with him after he spoke barely three sentences to you? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Hey, Joel," he heard the owner of the hardware shop call out to him in greeting as he walked by.

"Hey, Lee. How's it goin'?" Joel stopped outside the open door to the shop, leaning against the doorframe as he watched Lee sweep the floor.

"Can't complain. 'Cept, you get any leads on those vandals? Someone's been drawin' obscene things on the street signs over on Willow." Lee lowered his voice and glanced over his shoulder before adding "someone even drew a phallic image on a deer crossin' sign."

Joel had to stifle a chuckle because he knew the old man was completely serious.

"I'm on it, Lee. Promise, I'll get to the bottom of it," he said with a nod.

A clatter deep within the store pulled both of their attention toward the noise.

"You alright back there, miss?" Lee called, peering down the aisle. Joel's breath caught in his throat when he heard your voice.

"Yeah, sorry! Just dropped something," you replied, emerging from the aisle looking a little flustered and holding an array of tools in your hands. You stiffened before you even laid eyes on him, like you could sense him before even seeing he was there. Joel couldn't help but take it a little personally. Why were you so sweet and friendly to Lee and other customers at the diner, but so cold to him?

You glanced his way nervously and he tried to give you a reassuring smile, maybe even a quick hello, but you immediately turned to address Lee, asking him questions on how to fix a kitchen faucet. Joel watched as Lee picked out the right tool for you and explained how to fix it, but it was clear as day you were having a hard time following. Lee must have noticed as well.

"You ever fix anythin' 'round a house, sweetheart?" Lee asked, and a little pink dusted your cheeks, making Joel's heart flutter in his chest.

"Is it that obvious?" you asked him with a sweet smile. Why wouldn't you look at him like that?

Lee laughed good-naturedly before turning to Joel.

"Joel, would you mind helpin' her out? Her place's on the way back to the station."

Your smile fell and you instantly shook your head, eyes widening as you clutched the tool in your hand.

"N-no, that's okay, I can manage," you said, first to Lee, then braved a glance in his direction before dropping your eyes to the floor.

A big part of Joel told himself to just give up, just let you be and ignore whatever it was that made you dislike him so much. But he just couldn't do it.

"Not a problem, it should just take a second," Joel finally said, tilting his head to look at you. "Where d'you live?"

He could tell you were incredibly uncomfortable now, and he wondered if he should stop pushing it. It looked like you could hardly breathe as you stared at the floor and considered your options.

"Just a few blocks that way," you said meekly, pointing north up Main Street. Joel pushed himself off the doorframe and stood aside so you could squeeze through without getting too close to him, and for that you seemed grateful. He nodded to Lee before following you down the sidewalk, his hands shoved deep in his pockets as he tried to think of something to say.

"You likin' it here so far?"

"Uh huh," you replied, your gaze trained straight ahead. The pair of you walked in an awkward silence for another minute before he tried again.

"You got a place right on Main?"

"Above the pizza parlor," you said, and before he could follow up with another question, you suddenly stopped walking. He turned around when he realized and gave you a confused look.

"I really appreciate the offer, but I think I can figure out the sink for myself," you told him, forcing yourself to look into his eyes this time when you spoke.

"It's no trouble. It's what we all do 'round here, we help each other out," he replied. You fidgeted with the strap of your purse and averted your gaze. He waited for you to weigh your options, not wanting to pressure you but also not ready to give up, either. Finally, you spoke.

"You said it'll be quick?"

He grinned and nodded.

"Less than ten minutes."

You sighed and forced yourself to continue walking.

"Okay, if you're sure you don't mind..."

"I'm sure."

You walked in silence the rest of the way to your apartment. Joel seemed nice enough, and you could probably even get over the fact he was a cop, but you just couldn't get past the fucking cologne. It permeated every molecule of air whenever he was near, and you couldn't stop the horrible memories that came flooding back. You knew you would end up regretting allowing him into your apartment because you would end up spending the rest of the day trying to rid your little sanctuary of that scent. But you were weak. You never were very good at saying no. And this time was no exception.

You unlocked the front door and Joel held it open while you led him up the creaky stairs, then unlocked the second door at the top that led directly into your small apartment. He closed the door behind him and glanced around, taking in your space for the first time.

"Cozy," he finally said, and you let out a soft chuckle.

"You could say that," you replied. The room wasn't very big, but he noticed the moment you both entered, you put as much space between the two of you as you could. Your eyes were flicking around the room anxiously, your back against the only window and your fingers clutching the tool to your chest, toying with it nervously. He took a couple steps towards you and your fidgeting stopped. You dragged your gaze up to his as he studied your curious behavior. If it wasn't obvious before, it was crystal clear now: he made you incredibly uncomfortable.

Rather than make things worse, he stopped halfway across the room and just held out his hand. You stared at it, unmoving and barely breathing before he cleared his throat.

"Wrench?"

"Oh," you said softly, letting out a shaky breath before taking a step forward and handing him the tool you had just bought. He took it and gave you one more look before turning back towards the small kitchen. He shrugged off his blazer and draped it over the back of a chair, and your throat went dry when you clocked the gun on his waist.

You watched him warily as he flicked on the overhead light and fiddled with the lever of the sink before opening the cabinets underneath and peering inside at the plumbing. You hardly moved a muscle as you watched him. You wished you could light the scented candle on your table to help minimize the cologne, but you were too nervous he would find that suggestive. The silence became deafening as he worked, and you felt compelled to say something.

"Can I get you some water?"

He stopped what he was doing and gave you a small smirk.

"As long as it ain't from the tap," he said, tilting his head towards the faucet he currently had taken apart. You smiled and walked quickly over to the fridge, pulling out two bottles of water. He noticed your fingers shaking slightly when you handed him the water, and he frowned.

"You alright?"

"Me?" you squeaked, as if there were anyone else in the room he could be addressing. He nodded slowly and unscrewed the cap, still staring at you.

"I'm fine," you assured him, but still took a few paces back to stand next to your window again. Far away from him. He looked you up and down as he took a sip of his water before setting the bottle down on the counter.

"I can tell you got some issue with me," he began, and you stilled, watching him carefully from across the room, clutching the water bottle tightly against your chest. You shook your head quickly, but he held out a hand to stop you.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable at the diner," he said.

"W-what do you mean?" you stammered.

"Betty," he added, raising his eyebrows. "She's got a tendency to stick her nose where it don't belong, and I know she said somethin' to you 'bout me. I just wanted to apologize if that put you in tough spot."

"Oh, that's alright," you told him, quickly waving him off. He chewed the corner of his mouth as he studied your surprisingly relaxed response. So Betty's prying wasn't the problem.

"You gotta give me somethin' here," he said after a moment, and you dropped your gaze to your feet. "What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything," you said softly, your eyes still pinned to the floor.

"Then why can't you stand lookin' at me for more than five seconds?" he asked, desperate now to know the answer.

"Does it matter?" you whispered.

"I wish it didn't," he said, the words slipping out before he could stop them. You finally looked up at him now, taking in his hurt expression, and you felt your resolve crumbling. What happened to you wasn't this man's fault.

"What does that mean?" you asked him, and it was his turn to look away.

"Nothin'," he finally mumbled, his heart slamming against his chest.

"It's your cologne," you blurted out, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. He wasn't expecting that.

"My... cologne?"

"It's nothing personal, I'm just sensitive to smells." He knew you were lying. Your entire apartment smelled like garlic and marinara sauce from the pizza place downstairs. But he decided not to push it.

"My daughter - Sarah - she got it for me for Father's Day. Truth be told, I don't like it much, either," he told you, and much to his relief, he saw the corners of your mouth tug into a small smile.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly. He just shrugged and turned back to the sink.

"Nothin' for you to be sorry 'bout. Thought I offended you or somethin', is all," he told you as he worked on putting the faucet back together.

You took a few tentative steps closer to peer over his shoulder.

"Can you show me what you did to fix it?" you asked. He straightened up to look at you and twirled the wrench in his hand, deciding to be bold.

"If I do that, then I won't have an excuse to come see you when it breaks again."

You bit your lip to hide your smile as your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He grinned and turned back to the sink. Maybe he still had a chance. He was nearly finished, but he showed mercy on you and explained what he did, anyway.

Once he was done, you walked him down to the first floor, thanking him profusely along the way.

"Don't mention it," he said, shoving his arms through his blazer as he walked, but turned back before you closed the door.

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you gazed up at him. Now that you were back outside and the scent wasn't so strong, you allowed yourself to acknowledge that Joel was a good looking man. A really good looking man. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you cursed Patrick for ruining so many things for you, but you were afraid the worst thing he might have actually ruined for you was Joel.

You slowly nodded, then he grinned and tilted his head to the side.

"You have yourself a good rest of the day, sweetheart."

You felt yourself blush at the term of endearment, but luckily he had already turned away.

Taglist: @harriedandharassed @merz-8 @sarap-77

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller series #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #sheriff!joel #waitress reader #STR fic

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messylustt · 10 months

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Hi! Can I request Miguel O’Hara x civilian reader. Where reader is Miguel’s dead wife and Gabriella’s mom and Miguel travels to another universe on a Mission and she mistakes him for her Miguel. And he’s just so out of it because he misses her sm.

my heart my HEART

COPIED DESIRE — miguel o’hara + reader: you aren’t miguel’s dead wife but he can’t let you go.

marks yandere behavior; non purposeful cheating?? (like just a kiss). wc 1.0k.

pt one. pt two.

“i’ve got it.” miguel says, bypassing jess to slip through the window. they were chasing down an anomaly, undercover in simple clothes of this universe, and as jess left to scout the other buildings, miguel found his way inside a rather nicely furnished apartment.

he tried to stay quiet, knowing that there could only be civilians here and the anomaly could be elsewhere. but as he walked down the hall, his foot stopped on something partially imbedded in the carpet. looking down he found a small lego piece and then he heard a voice.

“yeah…no, i’m not sure…mhm.” it sounded as though someone was talking on the phone, and as miguel trained into listening he froze, hearing the tone and softness he never thought he’d hear again.

you chuckle, walking out into the hallway, and when you see miguel you jump, placing your hand over your heart. you had just ended the call. “christ, miguel…i thought…i thought you weren’t coming home until later?”

miguel can only stare. you’re supposed to be dead. you…are dead. his gaze gets caught up in your details, his eyes impossibly softening as he takes note of you and your entirety. you looked beautiful.

and then you’re walking closer and before miguel can react you lean up and place a gentle kiss to his cheek, your hand coming out to place atop his bicep.

he meets your gaze and you smile. and miguel’s mind falters. “come on, i made some lunch for me…but i guess you can have some too.” you teasingly chuckle, beginning to walk away when miguel—without his minds permission—reaches out for, pulling you back as he can’t help but press his lips against yours.

is this a dream? miguel thinks it must be. because you shouldn’t be in his arms right now. but he can’t help but move his head against yours. you, of course, kiss back, thinking it’s your miguel. the one from this universe. with the ‘undercover’ clothes he looks the same.

you slightly break away from miguel, your smile still present. “rough day?” you ask with a tilt to your head. his hand comes out to touch your face, dragging down to your lips, as he just nods. that’s all he can do.

because this is wrong. you aren’t his. his version of you is dead. but oh you look so alike, so…similar. even with the way you’re head is tilting in a smile. it’s all too much for miguel.

“real rough.” he mutters before his hand is slipping to the back of your neck and pulling you back in. you tasted sweet, just as sweet as he remembered. and now he can’t back away, because you’re kissing him back, your hand is shifting to slip around his arm.

“the food’ll get cold.” you whisper against his lips. and miguel is still breathing hard, practically dazed. but then he hears the turn off keys, and remembers you aren’t his. miguel knows that it’s this universes version of him. you’re that miguel’s wife.

but miguel’s chest is beginning to heave at the thought of you leaving him again. he didn’t want you to leave. no. his grip slipped to your chin, pulling your head back to him as you had glanced to the door, confused.

no one else had a key besides miguel. your miguel. you had heard him mention details from his work, him working at alchimax as a scientist. you had heard of the new project and it’s risks. briefly of course, majority of it confidential.

but you caught things such as ‘other universes’, and ‘carbon copies’. and then it clicked, as you meet the gaze of the miguel who is holding you still. miguel can see the clogs turning in your brain. and he has the urge to shake his head. this becoming over far too soon.

he means you no harm, even if his grip on your chin is tightening, as he watches you realise. your mouth falls open, as you go to step back. “you’re not….”

but miguel can’t seem to let you go, bringing you back to him as he shakes his head. “no, please don’t…”

“no, get off me.” you struggle to get away. now you know. this isn’t your miguel.

“hey, hey.” miguel grabs your face, continuously shaking his head. he felt like something was getting ripped away. his heart, maybe? “it’s me.”

you shake your head. “no you’re…not miguel. not my miguel.”

“but…you’re…” he can’t get the words out because your gaze isn’t soft anymore, you aren’t looking at him with love. and you’re slightly confused as to why miguel still has an expression expressing that he does feel that—love.

you shake your head, grabbing his hands on your face, in preparation to remove them. “i’m not your version of me. you know that right?” because you had guessed that there was also a carbon copy of you back in his universe, and maybe he got confused.

but miguel is still shaking his head, bringing you closer to him. the front door has now been opened and closed as the voice of your universe’s miguel reaches both yours and miguel’s ears. “mi amor, sorry i’m home a bit earlier than planned.”

now, all miguel can see is red. he knew you weren’t his version of you, but upon hearing this other version of him calling you ‘mi amor’, part of him wanted to change that. you could love him, right? you love that version of him, loving another won’t be too difficult.

but no matter what made up reason miguel can say to himself, even he knows how fucked up this is. He shouldn’t even be thinking about it. to instead leave you be to live your own life. he wasn’t meant to meet you.

but as your miguel’s steps draw near, and as you go to call for him, miguel places a cloth over your mouth. this makes your eyes widen as you shake your head, your eyelids beginning to droop. the cloth was meant for emergencies. i’m sure this can count as one. “shh…” miguel whispers, his lips brushing your forehead, as you drop in his arms. “no…” you quietly mutter out.

“it’s okay…you’re okay…you’re okay.” miguel mutters. “you’re with me now…you’re gonna be fine…you are fine…god you’re okay…” miguel had continued muttering anything as his lips brushed your skin your eyes now closed. “you’re all…mine again…”

#. ( spidey mark )#miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara one shot #miguel x you #miguel o'hara #miguel fucking o’hara #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara across the spider verse #miguel o’hara x you #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara smut #miguel spiderverse #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara angst #yandere #yandere!miguel #yandere!miguel o’hara

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mcyt-hc-writing · 6 months

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The Artificial Structures of Minecraft: An Attempted Chronology

Artificial structures in Minecraft range from the modern to the ancient. What structures are newer and which are older? It's hard to say. But here are my thoughts:

Modern - These structures are in use and new ones are likely being actively created

Villages: Actively inhabited by villagers

Woodland mansions: Actively inhabited by illagers

Pillager outposts: Actively inhabited by pillagers

Witch huts: Actively inhabited by witches

Igloos: No indication of owners, but the captive villager is still alive

Player-made structures: Self-explanatory

*Abandoned villages: Not actively in use, but new ones are likely being created

Recent - Not known to be in use, but have few signs of decay or geological changes

Abandoned villages: Explained above

Mineshafts: No signs of decay, despite wooden structures decaying easily

Desert wells: Cannot be proved to be in use, but have no signs of decay

Ocean monuments: No signs of decay, built after change in water levels (ref. ocean ruins)

End cities: No signs of decay, though in the end this may be hard to determine

*Shipwrecks: Some shipwrecks have few signs of decay or burial, indicating they are likely recent, especially given how fast wood can decay in water

*Ancient city illager structures: Structures in ancient cities made of dark oak wood and blue wool, appearing to be made by illagers. Illagers are active in the world, so it is likely that the structures are recent

Old - Structure shows signs of overgrowth or being partially buried, but no significant structural decay or changes in local geography

Jungle temples: Overgrown but structure and redstone intact

Desert pyramids: May be buried, and the secret room is entirely buried, but they are still near the surface and show little signs of decay

Dungeons/monster rooms: Cobblestone is overgrown bu structure is otherwise intact

*Shipwrecks: More decayed or buried shipwrecks likely belong in this category

Decayed - Structure has decayed or been damaged, but intact segments maintain integrity. Unclear if these are actually older than the previous category or if they were simply more prone to damage due to being larger

Strongholds: Have some cracked and overgrown bricks, and structures may have gaps. However, other than the gaps, rooms retain their shape and may even contain intact furnishings

Nether fortresses: Some bridges may be broken, but the rest of the structures have no obvious rubble or even cracks

Ancient - Structure is entirely decayed. Massive structural damage. Indications of geographic shifts since construction

Bastion remnants: Despite active habitation, they are in ruins. Some parts of the structures resemble natural caves more than artificial construction

Ruined portals: Wrecked and broken structures, often buried or flooded. Crying obsidian appears to be in an advanced stage of decay

Ancient cities: A majority of structures are in ruins. It is unclear if cities are supposed to be buried deep underground with little to no connection to the surface

Ocean ruins: In ruins. Some contain eggs of extinct animals. Evidently built before a sea level rise

Trail ruins: Likely the oldest artificial structures in the game. Almost entirely buried, with no structural integrity remaining

Conclusions:

Piglin civilization was ancient. Considering how ruined bastion remnants are, in comparison with nether fortresses, it seems unlikely that they competed with the fortress builders at the height of their civilization. It is likely that the fortress builders arrived in the nether only after the piglins had regressed to tribalism. If we assume Minecraft Legends to be canon, this likely means that fortresses (and strongholds, by extension) did not exist in the time period of Minecraft Legends

The advanced decay of ruined portals seems to indicate their extreme antiquity. Combined with their peculiar generation (generating nether terrain in the overworld, but not vice-versa) it seems likely that they are also from the Minecraft Legends time period - this makes a great deal of sense in my opinion, considering how they work in that game

Trail ruins indicate that villager civilization is likely just as old, if not older, than piglin civilization. This is consistent with Minecraft Legends, but the difference in architecture indicates that villagers may have been responsible for a lot of different kinds of structures

Nether fortresses and strongholds have similar levels of decay, indicating they may be from the same time period. This makes sense considering the ender eye crafting recipe

It is likely that the treasure maps in shipwrecks were obtained from ocean ruins

Igloos are likely owned by illagers

Abandoned mineshafts were likely made by villagers - badlands mineshafts may have been made by illagers, as they share their wood type with other illager structures

It is likely that the magic of totems of undying is related to the magic of golden apples. They have similar colours, illagers are the most likely to be responsible for igloos (where they experiment with golden apples and reversing death), they likely have mineshafts in badlands (where they find lots of gold), and they seem to have an interest in ancient cities (the best place in the game to find enchanted golden apples)

#minecraft #minecraft lore

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copperbadge · 4 months

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I just had a nightmare so bad it made me call in sick to work. (I am also actualfacts sick but it's just a stomach bug, not so bad it would keep me from working otherwise.)

It was so banal, too, is the thing -- no monsters, no body horror* or things chasing me or the deaths of loved ones. It was just...I came home from going out somewhere and my home wasn't my home anymore. The address was right, the building looked right, the front door was my front door, my key worked, but the unit inside wasn't my unit, was furnished differently and none of my stuff was there and two people I'd never met were living there.

They had just moved in, they said, and they weren't mad even, just as dumbfounded as I was. They clearly believed me and wanted to help but had no answers.

Where was my stuff? Where were my cats? I didn't even have any money, I didn't know who to ask about the situation. I was confused at first but then started to panic, and as I left to try and find...help, or an explanation, or maybe my REAL home, the building started to become unrecognizable as well. Was I delusional? Where did I really live? Did I even have a home?

It felt so unbelievably real. Usually in bad dreams I'm at least partially cognizant it's a dream. It's why I rarely find nightmares all that scary, because it's like seeing a horror movie on TV. Not really happening. This very much felt like it was really happening. I've never been so relieved to wake up in my own bed with Polk asleep on my chest.

I have no idea what it means either psychologically or metaphysically. I own my home, and I've never been in serious peril of being unable to pay rent or mortgage. While I do have a deep fear of becoming homeless it's not usually front of mind, like it's not something I dwell on. I've never had a dream like that before. It's actually comforting to imagine I just slipped into an alternate universe briefly. At least that means it's not likely to happen again.

* thanks autocorrect for changing this to "Jody horror", which did make me laugh.

#dreams #nightmares

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rachelpedd · 4 months

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2 Realistic Houses On 1 Lot

2 realistic family homes for you and your Sims to enjoy. Both houses are partially furnished to allow you to really make them your own.

Completely CC-free.

2 separate houses.

§52,695

30 x 20 lot (Evergreen Harbor)

Fully play-tested.

“bb.moveobjects on” will need to be input before placement.

Now available on The Gallery! Origin ID: RachelPedd.

Download (SimFileShare)

Happy Simming, everyone!

youtube

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justpoliteconversations · 2 months

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Apple Merchant [BOTW!Link x Isekai!Reader] (Part 3)

The house does not make a home, but a home can make a man.

The trash pile has grown again. It's spilling out of the bin.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Alternate Extras: Embrace

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise.

---

The house is bigger than you remember it being from the game. For one, there's a sectioned off washroom hidden partially under the loft stairs and a full kitchen area in the left rear of the house. The ceiling is also ridiculously high for a one story (technically two) house, but you let that detail slide. It's to your- Link's, benefit, after all.

Another thing, upgrades are not offered automatically here. Though that should've been obvious in hindsight and you're a bit embarrassed to admit it'd slipped your mind. Most people would decorate and furnish their own homes with either their old furniture or newly bought.

That's what the many, many shops the game never had reason to show were for, after all.

Therein led to your current dilemma.

Practicality or comfort? The large thin rug with dark patterns, or a smaller plush one with elegant designs embroidered at the edges? Red covers? Blue, white, gray? All of them perhaps? Maybe just three?

Does Link prefer cast iron or the wok? Steel forks or maybe chop sticks? A full set of pots and pans, or just two or three good ones for repeated use? Which set of knives? The specialty set or a general use one?

Should the loft have a rug too? Should you get both? Should you get three? What about the washroom?

Towels? A vase...

Dumb idea. No vases.

Should there be two beds? When Link frees Zelda from the castle, surely the poor woman won't be made to live there in that festering monster's nest of a ruin. And having been trapped there for a century as the world outside moved forward (after having been royalty nonetheless), would she even know how to live on her own?

Would it be presumptuous of you to already set up for her arrival before Link even properly remembered who she was? You didn't want to make Link feel obligated to fufill your assumptions like that. He already had so much on his shoulders. He didn't need you to add more.

So, only one bed. Sheets?

"Jus' get them all, ya cluckin' mother cucco." Adino snapped waspishly, thin brows pulled down into a severe looking glare. His arms were crossed as he leaned against the wall closest to the 'Odds and Ends' shop's door, pointedly.

You barely spared him a glance, used to his attitude after having known him for nearly three years. And honestly, it was all for show anyway. Adino loved shopping with you, but the spiteful little shit would never admit it. Even under pain of death.

'Jus' making sure the walkin' rupee bag doesn't fall dead to an ill fated breeze.' He'd snark if ever questioned why he was following you around on his days off.

Lies, of course. The truth is he's lonely. So very lonely and too hurt yet to reach out to anyone else for companionship.

The man he'd called father for 14 years of his short life suddenly throws him out of the only home he'd known with barely the clothes on his back. All after finding out his recently departed wife had been having affairs. And the kicker, the bastard claims he supposedly doesn't even know if Adino's his or not (despite them having the exact same eyes and brows).

It'd been convenient though, you'd give him that. Just washed his hands of the situation entirely. Started fresh with a new wife and got rid of the unnaturally (Adino had parroted coldly, like a curse and a confession breathed in the same breath) effeminate son that may or may not be his.

No stings attached. Just living comfortably on his late wife's family property and shacking up with her younger sister.

And that abandoned son running, running, running across Hyrule. Until he dropped right outside of Hateno, quiet and hurting and nearly driven mad with hateful, writhing loathing.

You pull yourself from those thoughts. It's not your business. Adino may have shared that information with you during his mandatory background check, but that doesn't mean it's any of your business.

Even if the boy is living with you, and has been for the last three years.

(Even if you already ruined that man's fletching business. Even if you never told Adino why that man'd taken a very long walk off a very tall cliff.

Even if Adino knew and left flowers on your desk every year on that day ever since.)

"I'll take them all. As well as the rugs, towels and curtains, please. Oh. And that tapestry. Yes. The one with the apples."

Adino snorted, rolling his eyes, and you smiled. A merchant's got to advertise wherever possible, after all.

The older, greying woman behind the counter nodded, glancing over to two younger women (her granddaughters, twins and five years orphaned. turned 17 last Fall) waiting unobtrusively near the back of the shop. They didn't need any more instruction than that, swiftly gathering your choices and folding them into neatly wrapped bundles.

You swear this family had to have some sheikah blood in them somewhere. Even if they had pitch black hair and the darkest grey eyes you've ever seen. They were just too quiet and efficient to be normal Hyrulians. (And were little known for their discretion above all else.)

You tipped the women for thier help. They thanked you with a quiet tilt of their perfectly kept heads, before returning to their preferred corner in the far back.

You didn't bother to barter with this woman. You paid full price for everything, and then tipped her too.

Four gold rupees. And a note, which she took with a nod and a knowing glint in her eyes.

(Because they were known for their discretion, and you appreciated that more than anything.

You knew she understood the flowers you left on her desk every year on the same day.

And you knew she'd understand this too.)

You left, but not before catching one of the twins (the one with the blue head cloth and lip rouge) staring longingly after Adino's back as he marched from the store in a dramatic huff. Her sister hiding a probable grin behind her red painted hand.

'Interesting. But not my problem.'

---

Link looked up the curved path to Hateno's guarded gate as he sheathed his guardian sword, the black mist of two hopelessly mangled bodies blowing away in the strong mountainside winds. Further back still was the semi-conscious groan of a young woman surrounded by fallen mushrooms.

Link ignored her slowly rising form, having checked her vitals earlier before being ambushed by a pair of bokoblins. He knew she'd be fine, and honestly, if she was sneaking around monster infested forests for mushrooms (Link could still hear the snorting of the beasts further past the treeline) then she must be able to take a hit or two and come out okay.

She must have had the same thoughts because she merely dusted herself off, picked up her fallen produce and made for the trees once more. Barely sparing Link a backwards wave before disappearing into the thick underbrush.

Link blinked after her. And sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

So. That happened.

Link let it roll off his back easily enough. He had more important issues to deal with. Such as was it appropriate for him to just show up at your (and now his) doorstep fresh from the road and smelling every bit of it.

He discreetly sniffed under his arm and grimaced.

Surely you'd understand. You and him were connected after all, and you knew his name and knew he'd be coming to Hateno. A little roadside reek shouldn't be a big surprise.

Yet. He couldn't shake the self-consciousness. The irrational fear that you'd look at him and expect more than what you got.

Like that old man who was actually a dead person. Like that Impa woman, and everyone in that little village she lived in.

For how quickly he'd steamrolled through the untamed wilds of Hyrule just to meet you, he was oddly reluctant to continue now that he was at your metaphoric (and soon literal) doorstep.

He glanced down at himself, taking himself in with a critical eye.

The Sheikah armor he wore (it had been under 10,000 rupees, he checked) was covered in dust, grim and the unflattering stains of sweat, dried bloody drool (from that unfortunate incident with the bokoblin horse), grass and meat grease. His hair was so filthy it was nearly brown despite that equally unfortunate incident with the octorok having put him in the water several times (strong inconsistent winds make aiming bows hard, he'd discovered).

Hopefully you wouldn't be disgusted. He hoped you understood that he wasn't- well-

He wasn't who he used to be. Apparently.

"Link." A flat voice called out, and Link nearly jumped to attention at the unexpected interruption. He nearly reached for his sword too, before he stopped himself.

When Link looked up and met dark gray eyes, his heart started to tightened.

'Is that you, AM?' His eyes asked earnestly, wide and round with quiet searching. For recognition. For understanding. For anything at all.

Instead he got a slow, dispassionate blink and confusion as the woman spoke into the silence between them. "AM instructed me to lead you home, Master Link."

Link pointed to himself. "Master?" He rasped out quietly, voice rough and unpleasant even to his own ears. Nothing to say for the pain it caused at the base of his throat.

Without missing a beat the young woman nodded once, the blue bandana holding her dark hair back catching slightly in the wind. Blue painted lips barely moving as she said. "Yes. I will explain more once we arrive at your home."

Link nodded, still uncertain but trusting enough of this strange woman who knew the name (Alis? Nickname? Title, perhaps?) of his sheikah slate partner.

Tomorrow, he would be given a small journal detailing many of the dangers and wonders of this beautiful, wild world he now lived in. And he wouldn't be so trusting anymore.

And he'd have bananas, apparently. So many bananas.

But that's for tomorrow. Today?

Today was the first time he walked across the old, but sturdy footbridge. The first time he glanced over at the shrine glowing faintly to his left, peeking from behind a small cluster of buildings.

It was the first day he stood on the threshold of his (and your) new home. The first time since awakening he felt the beginning of heartbreak as he realized you were not there to greet him. That you would not be living with him. Ever.

('For now,' He thought in quiet defiance.)

And the first time since he opened his eyes in that dark, eerily glowing shrine he felt loved. When his eyes adjusted to the darker light of the house and found a home waiting for him.

Not just an empty building with four walls and a bed, but a rug with pretty dark patterns under a heavy wooden table. A bowl of apples at its center, with thick candles at either side. An intricately sewn tablecloth just slightly hanging over the sides in delicate little weaves.

He felt loved when he walked around the front room, boot-heavy steps thumping softly on polished hardwood floors, slowly taking in the space (the blue woman waiting patiently at the door). The small wooden sculptures upon carefully arranged tables, cute and quirky banners and tapestries brightening up the dimly lit room (one was slightly lower than the rest, another was slightly off-center, and Link felt warm at the imperfections). Sunflowers, a bird, a rock formation, an apple tree, a cat with a bell.

A sword and shield rack. Two armor stands. A few weapon's plaque hanging above them.

The food in the kitchen pantry. Completely unnecessary, but for the way it made Link feel. The way it made his throat tighten and itch. The thought that this was put here because it was meant to be his home.

And so much more. So many things he couldn't even remember the uses for. So many bits and pieces that slot together into the jumbled mess that is a home. It was more than he had the heart to acknowledge without weeping.

Noticing his brewing turmoil, the blue woman spoke. "Perhaps a bath and bed before we speak of business. AM said you may be tired when you arrived."

Link nodded, unwilling to speak and risk his voice breaking entirely. Instead he allowed himself to be led to the washroom, holding back tears when he found bottles of sweet smelling soaps and hair cleansers on a small table beside a stool above a drain. A tub beside it all, shaped like a bowl but with a drain at the bottom and a water spout at the rim.

He looked to the blue woman, overwhelmed and dazed by the strength of his emotions.

Something in her softened at his lost expression. "Let me bath you, Master Link." She said, keeping her voice even, though her dark eyes were gentle. "Just until you learn how to do it yourself."

Link nodded. Quiet and trusting in his vulnerability.

She helped him undress. She made him sit on the stool as she gathered what she needed.

Her hands were so, so gentle as they brought a warm, wet towel over his dirtied, battered skin.

He nearly fell into a doze twice as she washed his hair three times until the suds came off white. He was only minimally aware of the strong (deceptively strong) hands that helped him into the tub. He nearly slumped into the side of the bowl, body completely lax within the warm, welcoming water.

He opened his eyes from one blink to the next and blankets (thick and soft, smelling of fresh soaps and linen) were being drawn over his shoulders. The pillow beneath him gave under the weight of his head, as did the mattress he laid upon.

Every part of him felt warm and soft and safe. He smelt like flowers and sweet nuts, his skin felt clean and supple under the tender caress of his nightclothes. The further dimming lights eased him further down into slumber.

"Rest well, Master Link. I will guard you as you sleep."

Link couldn't even bring himself to respond, lost as he was to the call to nothingness.

He was lost not long after.

"One day." The blue woman said softly, sitting beside the unconscious man with an amused smile. "I will teach you to identify sleeping oils before they reach you. But not tonight. For tonight you sleep. Tomorrow, you will learn to be wary."

She wiped her delicate finger tips across his relaxed forehead, a slight sheen left in their wake.

"Sweet dreams, Courageous One."

---

Link,

I apologize that I could not be there to greet you properly. However, after careful consideration I decided it would be safest for our paths to remain separate at this time.

Herein this text, you will find all relevant information I've amassed over the years regarding our world and the dangers within it. Including, but not limited to, the continued threat of the Yiga clan.

May you never have to make use of the less savory of this knowledge.

Yours truly,

---

To the shadows I return.

#botw link #isekai reader #link x reader #link x you #botw x reader

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yuna542 · 11 months

Text

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 17<-

Part 18

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Under 18 DNI!, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, pet names, dom!Minho, fingering

Word Count: 3.3k

Note: Currently I’m a bit busy with my mental and physical health. So if you have to wait for more parts I’m really sorry. I’ll do my best to upload! I really love this part and hope you will like it as well! Minho will always be my first big kpop crush -much love

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.

Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

The photo shoot went smoothly. Lee Know was a pro at this and the first pictures were finished in no time. He looked outrageously handsome in the outfits, which were mainly made of leather and thin fabric and you couldn't take your eyes off his thighs as his muscles tensed while posing.

Restlessly you crossed your legs on the small armchair as you were much more sensitive without your panties and you silently cursed Hyunjin for flinching at every touch and look from Lee Know.

Minho didn't miss your tense and partially absent attitude either. Especially since you shivered every time he stroked your thigh with his fingers or inconspicuously touched your butt as he walked by.

Just as he sat in front of you and the stylist was busy with his hair, you stared straight at your Ipad because you couldn't stand eye contact with him. He looked too hot and you were already rubbing your thighs together to relieve some of the rising tension.

Since the day you almost fucked in the practice room, there was this unspoken tension between you. His looks were more intense than usual, as if he was waiting for something.

But today without panties it was like torture. You felt exposed and as his eyes rested on your thigh, you could tell something was going through his mind.

You could only guess what he was thinking.

"When will the teaser be released?"

Questioningly, you raised your eyes and made the mistake of looking directly at him while he had not yet put on his shirt. His abs stood out under his marble-colored skin, making you falter. You could only stare at his broad shoulders and how the seductive muscles on his arms and chest tightened as he pulled the linen shirt over his head.

It took you a few seconds to remember that you actually wanted to answer him.

It will go into post-production tomorrow. We're aiming for next Friday", you explained quickly after clearing your throat and typing something on your Ipad quickly.

"We should have a movie night after everything is wrapped up."

You nodded quickly and squeezed your thighs tightly together to put a stop to your attention-seeking core. It didn't pass Minho by, but he was already called to the photographer and stroked your thigh as he stood up before disappearing back to the set.

You finally breathed a sigh of relief, and after a few minutes you decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up your makeup and recover from the crackling tension.

In the small bathroom, you marveled at the modern furnishings. In addition to high-quality cherry wood furniture, there was a huge mirror behind the stone sink, set in a golden frame.

The magazine company seemed to pay a lot of attention to aesthetics. While you stood in front of the mirror touching up your makeup, you didn't hear the door open and Minho slip in behind you because of the soft music playing in the room.

Until he pulled the door shut and stepped behind you and you could see him in the mirror.

"Minho? What are you doing here?", you asked in amazement and when you saw his face in the mirror, your heart automatically skipped a beat.

There was a fire burning in his eyes that took everything in and before you could react, he grabbed you by the hips and hunched you over the sink with his hand on the back of your neck.

One hand went under your dress and stroked your bare cunt, making you suck in a sharp breath.

"Fuck I knew it! You're not wearing any panties, you naughty kitten."

His grip on your neck was firm and he slid your dress over your hips without hesitation, giving him a perfect view of your ass and exposed core. Over the mirror you could see his eyes glowing with lust and immediately you got wet just from the way he dominated you.

“Should have guessed it, since you fucked Hyunjins thigh all desperate.”

He was still wearing the last outfit from the photoshoot that had driven you crazy. It consisted only of a linen shirt that revealed a little of his chest and a pair of leather pants that sat tight around his trained thighs.

His hair fell into his eyes, which shimmered like bitter coffee in the orange light of the bathroom.

"Hyunjin stole my panties earlier. Lino What..." but that's as far as you got, as he was already sinking a finger into your throbbing cunt and looking right into your eyes in the mirror.

Your mouth was open in surprise as he began to pump it into you mercilessly, putting pressure on your clit.

"You've had no panties on all morning like a needy slut. Anyone could have seen your bare pussy. The mere thought makes me hard. Do you think I'm going to let that go unpunished?"

In response, you could only gasp softly as he curled his finger inside you and you held onto the edge of the sink.

"Don't think I'm letting you get away with that, kitten."

It sounded like a threat he meant seriously, and his voice got a lot darker as he continued to finger you, tickling the naughtiest sounds out of you. He pushed the straps of your dress off your shoulders and freed your tits, unceremoniously undoing your bra and tossing it aside.

"Now I want to see you scream around my cock!", he murmured, reaching from behind to take your breast firmly and knead it.

„What about.. the Photoshoot... Minho", you gasped and he just grinned savagely.

„They have to wait. I, on the other hand, can't wait any longer to feel your pussy wrapped around my cock." When he added two more fingers, you moaned loudly and moved your hips eagerly against his hand.

A knot formed in your stomach as he continued to pump his fingers into you and you clenched hard around his fingers when he bend you firmly with his hand on your back over the sink.

That's when he suddenly pulled them out of you, grinning in amusement as you whimpered in despair at the loss of contact.

"The only way you're gonna come is around my cock, understand?", he whispered into your ear and you heard him already undoing his belt buckle. You eagerly shoved your hips towards him and arched your back, while your heated cunt was getting soaked by just his words.

"Don't worry kitten! I'll bend you over and fuck you against this sink, like the desperate little slut you are."

You bit your lower lip in anticipation as you couldn't wait to finally feel him inside you. Your eyes met in the mirror as he pulled out his hard cock and palmed himself a few times.

"Look at you! How beautiful you are, all desperate for my cock", he purred and slapped your ass, that made you tremble beneath him.

He looked stunningly beautiful with the dirty smile on his pink lips and the fluffy hair falling in his forehead.

And there you felt his tip already at your entrance. A contented growl tore from his throat as he pushed relentlessly into you, and the feeling of him tearing your insides apart brought tears to your eyes. With your vision blurred, you clawed tightly into the stone of the sink and felt it pressed coolly against your belly as he sunk inch by inch into your aching core.

His fingers dug firmly into your skin at your hip bones as he began thrusting into you and after the first few times you saw stars, due to the immense size that was filling you up.

He was so big that it took your breath away and all you could do was choke out gasps as he used your sore pussy to please himself. His roughness and his desire for you sent heat throughout your body and the pain quickly mixed with pleasure into a single overwhelming sensation.

"You love this, don't you? Love being treated like a useless little fuck toy?", he moaned as the soft elevator music was drowned out by the slapping of skin and your dirty whimpering.

One look in the mirror was enough to know the answer to his question. He continued to hold eye contact, enjoying your fucked out facial expressions. Your lips were parted and your eyes were glazed with tears as he relentlessly thrusted into you, stretching your walls.

Everything inside you strained and the knot in your stomach was about to snap.

"Oh fuck, don't stop! Minho please don't stop!" you pleaded, squinting your eyes. He hit all the sensitive spots deep inside you that made your legs go weak, and his little moans that escaped every time he thrusted hard into you and slapped his balls against your clit, emptied your head.

Your begging only heated him up more and that's when you felt his hand around your neck, closing it around your throat unshakeable. With the pressure on your air supply, he forced you to open your eyes and lift your gaze.

"I want to look at your pretty face while I fuck you until you come around my cock!"

The eye contact over the mirror with him was too much. Seeing his jaw twitch tensely and him pulsing parallel inside you with his hand around your neck pushed you over the edge and you clenched hard around him before you came with pornographic moans.

Your lips were swollen and you looked so naughty you would have been ashamed if he hadn't kept thrusting into you relentlessly.

"I'm gonna use that tight little pussy, until I'm coming, understand?", he clarified as he noticed you squirming under him from the overstimulation. Your clit was swollen and you felt drowsy from Lee Knows assault on your aching cunt.

But his thrusts were also getting sloppy and he thrusted so deep each time that your fingers were already aching, from clawing so hard into the sink.

He looked down as his dick disappeared into your sore pussy and was covered by your juices and with another look in the mirror, your face tensed with pleasure was enough to make him come inside you. You felt him deep inside you painting your walls white and he sunk into you a few more times until he slumped over you, his breathing rattling.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed along your spine, up to your shoulders. As he did, you felt your juices mixing inside you and he sighed softly against your neck.

"Your so perfect for me...", he murmured and you smiled exhaustedly at him over your shoulder.

That's when he leaned down to you and kissed you so hard it made you dizzy. He moved his lips against yours with so much passion and your tongues played in unison that it was in strange contrast to his rough manner.

Now his touches were loving, careful and gentle, bringing butterflies to your stomach.

Before he pulled out of you, he grabbed wipes next to the sink and cleaned you and himself up. Your legs were shaking from the orgasm that had messed up your insides and after he threw the wipes away, he put his clothes back on, turned you to face him and helped you fix your clothes.

“I’m so sorry that I can’t take my time with you… I’ll make that up to you, I promise.”

Then he kissed you again, with both hands on cupping your face, and your body automatically snuggled up to his. He smelled like soothing herbals and woodsy citrus scents that messed with your mind while kissing you intensely.

"We should go back. We've been gone for too long", you moaned into his mouth in between kisses, because he made no move to let go of you. He kissed you like he needed your lips to breathe and as much as you enjoyed being caressed by him, you still had a job to do.

"I can't help it. I'm addicted to you", he said when he finally broke away from you and placed a few more kisses on your neck.

"You go ahead. I'll catch up with you", you said, fixing his hair a little so it looked kind of like it did before.

He gave you one last kiss, from which it was obviously hard for him to break away, and then reluctantly disappeared through the door.

Only then did you dare to breathe and with your heart pounding you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was a mess and your makeup was completely smeared. You used the time to put everything back in place and at the same time you couldn't stop grinning.

Tonight would be the first night in the dorm and you had just been fucked by one of the most attractive men at an important photoshoot. It was too surreal to be reality and yet here you were, still able to feel him filling you up.

On the way back, you kept giving each other meaningful looks and smiling like love-struck idiots. That little secret between you was exciting and made the sex even more addictive. Later, when you were getting your things ready in your office to go home for the day, you started to get restless.

Moving into the dorm with the guys was thrilling and you were looking forward to it too. When you were done with everything, you went to the studio and found Chan at his laptop and Seungmin on the couch.

"I'd be ready", you said, and they both nodded.

"Yeah. We're done here for the day too. Let's get out of here!", Chan said and was relieved to see you.

It was a strange feeling going home with the boys and at the same time it felt right. They had become your family by now, after all, you slept with them too.

In the dorm you threw your shoes right off and when you got to your new room you were flooded with happiness. It had turned out really nice.

There was a huge canopy bed, a desk with everything you needed to work, a big closet, a dressing table and much more. Everything was there and the room looked inviting and friendly because of the plants and decorations Hyunjin helped you to choose.

Satisfied, you changed your clothes and in a pair of leggings and a top, you strolled back to the living room where Hyunjin was sitting on the couch on his cell phone.

When he lifted his eyes, he grinned with amusement.

Directly, you stood in front of him with your arms crossed and held out your hand.

"Can I have it back now?"

He took your hand, turned it and kissed the back of it teasingly.

"You're not going to get it back that easily. You'll have to try harder for that."

All right. If he wanted to play like that...

You kept your eyes on him and he looked surprised as you tied your hair up in a ponytail and got down on your knees in front of him. You stroked your fingers slowly over his knee and up his thigh and you could feel his whole body tense at the sight.

You looked him in the eye again, biting your lower lip seductively and stroking the bulge in his pants.

He smiled in anticipation and stroked his fingers down your cheek to your lips, where he pulled your bottom lip down slightly with his thumb and let it rest against your chin.

You leaned forward, enjoying how he was completely absorbed in you. Then you took his index finger and middle finger in your mouth and started sucking on them.

"Shit...", he mumbled aroused and you felt him getting hard under your fingers. Challengingly you let his fingers slide in and out your mouth as you would suck his dick.

"Oh my god...", you heard from the doorway and you both looked to Han who was holding an apple he must have grabbed in the kitchen. You used the moment to stand up, giving Hyunjin one last amused look as he grabbed a pillow to press onto his growing bulge.

Standing before Han, you put your arms around his neck and gave him a peck on the cheek before taking the apple from him, taking a bite, and disappearing into the kitchen.

Han and Hyunjin were left equally perplexed and Hyunjin now gradually realized that this was your sweet revenge.

Han dropped down next to Hyunjin and looked at him in confusion.

"What happened?"

"I stole her panties at work today, and this is how she's paying me back."

Han had to laugh and looked down at the pillow he was pressing between his legs.

"She got you heated up so easily and then disappeared?", he laughed, trying to snatch the pillow away from Hyunjin, who was desperately trying to fight off Jisungs hands.

"You'll get hard if she just looks your way!", he snapped at him, and you smiled as you heard their bickering all the way into the kitchen.

That's when Chan joined you and hugged you from behind.

„I missed you", he whispered near your ear and you leaned against him and giggled slightly.

„We have just seen each other."

„I know. It was still too long."

He pressed a kiss on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around your body so tightly, as if he never wanted to let you go.

„I live with you now. So I have to see your face every day now", you teased him and wiggled your butt at him. You squirmed in his embrace as he lightly began to pinch your side and tickled you with a warm smile.

Quickly he turned you around and pulled you by the face into an exuberant kiss. You melted into the sweet kiss and pressed your chest tight against his.

„Channie don't eat her up on her first evening at the dorm!", Felix voice appeared next to you and you both looked at him with an amused smile.

„Hey, jagi", he said and you loved the new blonde hair on him that he got today.

„Hey Lixie. You look amazing", you said a bit flustered and the smile he gave you, lightened your mood even more.

„Let's get something to eat!", he decided and an hour later you all gathered in the living room to eat your delivered food.

„Jagi, if you want to stay in my bed for the night, I wouldn't say no", Han teased and Changbin looked at him while shaking his head.

„If so she would definitely want to sleep with me", he said.

„Next to you she would have no place in bed", Seungmin said dryly and made you all laugh.

„Absolutely. Bin, you would crush her while you sleep!", Han laughed at him and he drew his eyebrows together.

„With you, she wouldn't get a second of sleep. Cause you'd try to bang her all night!", he shot back.

Chan tried to hide his smile and Felix head rested in your lap, while you listened to them bickering. While you tried to follow the conversation, you stroked Felix's hair and he had meanwhile closed his eyes, humming delightful.

Hyunjin laughed loudly because of Hans outraged face and Jeongin snorted entertained.

"To be clear: Tonight I sleep in my bed. And all alone!", you declared and ended the discussion with that.

->Part 19

——————————————————————-

Taglist (closed):

@poisonivy21 @elizalabs3 @chartrucewhore @smutlemononeshot @hgema @bookwyrm28 @gemini-demon @jeongchaos @jihanlovic @comingupwithacoolnameishard @marked-unknown @yuhjoeyuh @bakedlilgoonie @itstorimf @toomuchtellyneck @ana-stasssiaaa @galaxypox @n034sy @amara-mars @purple-belle @amararosesblog @tori719 @rindomo @freakinthesheets-excelexcel @niaalove @crazyllamasurfer @luunaruwu @mariegalea @kimseungminsprincess @julciaqwerty @officialshania @whore4stucky9104 @foxinnie8 @i-dont-know-me-either @sirenthalia @mixling-blog @httpsmultifandom @hyunlixwife @eastleighsblog @tzalethhwang @queenofdragons12 @fixation-dump @midsoulz @emmxxsworld @scarletrosesposts @sugahannie @jinniespuppy @minervasystem @tasteskz-sworld @hyunlixsbbygirl

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chillybuilt · 9 months

Text

Please help a Black PhD student!

23.8.23 Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who helped out! I'm in the clear with regards to my rent! I still need some help in order to furnish my apartment (we're gonna see how long I can sleep on an air mattress, but it's not the best). Anything would be appreciated. Again thanking everyone so much for sharing this post and giving what they could. It means the world to me.

(18.8.23) Edit: Unfortunately I still need help. They do want the full payment and have emailed me to remind me of my outstanding charges. Please give anything you can! Sharing this would also help a lot.

EDIT: Thank you so much to everyone! I was able to pay off half and I'll be talking to the management company about the rest.

If you still want to help, because relocating countries and furnishing apartments and starting a PhD is so expensive, I would really appreciate it.

Thank you so much!!

Original Post:

I know some people put their identities and stuff in posts like these so I'm sorry if it comes off cringe but

ca$happ: $RCCRD

v€nmo: RCCRD

fuck, so, I'm moving from the Caribbean to the US to start my PhD and I'm so fortunate to be on assistantship but I don't and won't get a full paycheck until the the third week week of September, the first fortnight of work. But because I'm a new international student I need to be there almost an entire month before that, to set up and attend orientation etc. Things in America are so fucking expensive, especially when my local currency has a conversion rate of 7 to 1 USD. And there's so many hidden costs I feel like crying every day. My family is trying to help me but they really can't.

Right now, while I already paid the security deposit for an apartment, they suddenly want over $1000 USD upfront, like by August 15th.. I've called and I've emailed saying I'm a new student, this must be an error or something but they've said nothing. and this is on top the $800 USD I'll need to ship my things. I'm so frustrated because I was so excited but things keep getting worse like yeah I do want to be the first person in my family to get a PhD and but my family is working their ass off to help me and I won't get any income at all from the school until September.

that partial pay check won't help with anything and already comes too late so I would really appreciate it if anyone at all could help even a little it would be so appreciated.

so sorry for another post across your dash. I would appreciate it if you could just reblog this because even that would help.

ca$happ: $RCCRD

v€nmo: RCCRD

#mutual aid #single boost #please help #emergency funds #financial aid

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genshin-impacted · 1 year

Text

Exchange of Rings

(Alhaitham x Reader - 2/?)

You and Alhaitham get settled into your shared home in the beginning of your year-long test run of your marriage. The both of you try to figure out how to best live together piece by piece. OR apartment shopping + eating dinner + packing lunch

Word Count: ~3.7k

Notes: afab!reader, second person pov “you”, switches pov with Alhaitham, modern au, arranged marriage, fall first/fall harder, mentions of sex, slow burn

[Previous - Next]

The first thing in order is to get an apartment that the two of you can both agree on. As the two of you are fiancés, there really is only a need for one bedroom and one bathroom. You’re almost excited to share a bed with someone else again, but temper it with the knowledge that you’ll only be sharing a bed with Alhaitham and nothing else.

For now, at least. You try to not let your mind linger on what Alhaitham said at the first meeting regarding any… sensual possibilities. Regardless, the step to share a home is something inherently intimate.

The location of the apartment is at the halfway point between your parent's homes in a cozy suburban area with amenities close by and with enough space to fit two people. For one, the kitchen is spacious, and they leave you with a nice living room for activities next to a cozy dining room. With the both of you making wages, the payment is honestly not bad at all. You agree to split fifty fifty with him.

The apartment comes partially furnished. Together, the two of you bring enough furniture to make the apartment look more like a home. Alhaitham was kind enough– or would you say, meticulous enough to share a document between the two of you so you know what is still needed and who is bringing which item. It makes it easier to determine which item belongs to whom to return to if things go sour, but it also lets you see what the two of you still need to buy together.

It’s a very efficient way of doing things, and you see that in the other ways he plans things to make it as easy as possible: You come to pick him up at the apartment so the two of you can carpool together to shop since the store is in the same direction; Alhaitham tells you that he intends to rent a delivery van for any big purchases to reduce any of the hassle of doing it yourselves. And he’s fair too– he tells you he can pay you for gas for the car ride, and though you feel like it’s unnecessary, you feel inclined to agree anyways.

Alhaitham pauses in the middle of the conversation, and you take your eyes off the road for a second to glance at him.

“Anything wrong?” You ask him, “Did we forget something at the apartment?”

“No,” he says. “I suppose I’m just surprised you’re agreeing with all of this so easily. I expected push-back.”

“Push-back for what?” You say, genuinely curious. “It all sounds good to me. You’re very organized.”

You glance at Alhaitham again to see his hand at his chin, thoughtful. You expect him to elaborate, but he doesn’t, deigning to continue the conversation where he left off. It isn’t until you’ve parked and Alhaitham is waiting for you at your car door that you decide to ask again.

“So about earlier,” you begin, walking a few steps more to match Alhaitham’s long strides. Gratefully, you see him slow down for you to catch up, and the two of you begin walking side-by-side. “You said you expected me to… say something about what we were going to do? Why would I do that? It makes sense to me: buy essential stuff, unpack what we have, go buy what we’re missing if need-be…”

“I just have contingency plans in case something doesn’t go according to plan,” Alhaitham says. Now it’s his turn to glance at you, and there are those eyes again, piercingly observant like everything you do he will catalog for future reference. “Not everyone agrees with the way I work. I anticipated something like that would happen.”

You have a small feeling that the ‘disagreements’ Alhaitham mentioned happen often. You can see it: Alhaitham has a tone that may not sit very well with other people. It’s brusque at worst and matter-of-fact at best, but you find comfort in the confidence he exudes and the instructions he provides. You also don’t take his tone personally, which is for the best, you think, for this union. You have a feeling it is hardly personal when it comes to him.

“We can work things out if we disagree, can’t we?” You tell him. “We’re reasonable people… for the most part.”

At your last words, you hear Alhaitham huff in amusement, and his lips upturn into the smallest of smiles. You try not to look so bewildered when he tells you he’s going to get a cart, but you think that’s the first time you’ve seen him really smile.

You catch up to him the moment your heart stops leaping.

It’s fun shopping with Alhaitham. It’s nice having someone to ask for their opinions or taking turns pushing the cart with your collected items. You like to think Alhaitham doesn’t mind shopping with you either, mainly because he seems like the type of person to speak his mind, and he hasn’t complained about you taking too long to decide between what type of bowls you want for the apartment yet. (He chooses porcelain over plastic– microwavable safe.)

For the most part, you aren’t a very imposing shopper, moving through aisles quickly and only glancing over the things that aren’t important. You do take some time sifting through the candles though, and Alhaitham clears through your hesitation between cranberry and peach by putting both stacks of candles into the cart.

Just take them both– that definitely solves your problem of picking between the two. You try not to laugh at how his efficiency extends to shopping as well, even if it means indulging in your purchases. You think it's kind of cute of him, but you try not to let your hopeless romantic side speak too loudly (even if it's right!).

The moment Alhaitham finds an empty table, he brings his cart over and sits himself comfortably to wait for you. You’re at the middle of the line now to buy your frozen yogurt and cinnamon bun at the little shop at the exit. He lets his eyes follow your movement for a moment before he takes out his book from his bag to get some light reading in.

Or so he had planned, but he takes the time of solitude to gather his thoughts.

Some people who don't know him well at all may say that he treats interactions with other people as though they were transactions. Tit-for-tat, this for that– but Alhaitham could care less about receiving any favors back. Truth is he will only do something if he truly wants to, so the thought that someone needs to pay him back for something he’s done that has benefitted them is unnecessary to him. He lives by his own set of rules and morals, and however everyone else does it is none of his business.

It is his business, it turns out, when it comes to his roommate and fiancé: you.

Maintaining a relationship requires equal effort from both sides. An uneven distribution of labor, for example, sharing chores and duties of the household is a one-way ticket to the destruction of a relationship. It only makes sense to him that the two of you will divvy up the workload and weigh in on decisions together. He gives back what you provide, and hopefully it will be the same when he does it as well.

Like you said earlier, the two of you are reasonable adults. Thankfully. Alhaitham knows he has spoken with you at length during the first meeting and in short snippets since then, but he never really knows someone unless some time has passed. What are you like under stress? How will you react to unexpected situations? What will you do when the two of you fight? Power imbalances, as he has read, causes a greater rift when conflict occurs, so it’s best if he sets the precedence now for shared responsibility.

Tit-for-tat, this for that– Alhaitham has never felt the need to return what is given but then again he’s never really attempted to make a relationship work now, has he?

“Here you go.”

Alhaitham looks up from the book to see you hold out an ice cream cone toward him. He glances at your other hand to see another cone and at the table to see a cinnamon bun steaming from its small container. He takes the cone and you sit across from him, tearing off a piece of the cinnamon bun before smearing ice cream onto it.

Before you take a bite out of the sweet, you look at him with growing confusion. “Oh, sorry,” you say, “did you not want the frozen yogurt? I guess I just assumed you would; I always get one when I come here.”

“I don’t mind it. I actually enjoy sweets in moderation,” Alhaitham replies. Tit-for-tat, he thinks. “Let me pay you back for it.”

You wave a hand flippantly. “Nah, it’s okay. It’s really cheap anyways. You’re already paying for my gas so it’s really not a big deal. Here-” You slide the cinnamon bun roll closer to him. “Have some of this too. I got it for both of us.”

A small wrench in his plans. Perhaps he’ll pay you back another time? In another way? Or would it bother you if he treated every favor and action like a transaction to be paid back– he hasn’t considered this yet, and hasn't taken into account your personality in regards to what he should do. To his knowledge, you are… quite honestly, reasonable. Even-tempered, adaptable, even easy-going: it may do him good to review his plan and make some changes.

Perhaps he’ll just follow after you for once.

“Thank you,” he says, turning to his frozen yogurt and taking a taste. He looks up at you right in time to see you look away, smiling. For good measure, he rips a piece of cinnamon bun and, emulating you, smears the vanilla onto it.

It’s sweet.

The apartment ends up being an amalgamation of both your styles. The bookshelves are his, the couch and television are yours, and all the utensils and cooking ware are all bought. You had taken Alhaitham with you to buy everything, but he had very little to contribute to when it came to style. He commented more on practicality and only when you had asked him to choose between two did he make a stylistic choice. You find that he is a minimalist at most except for when it comes to his books, his bookshelves specifically from his own room. You find that oddly endearing, and when you suggest he purchase bookends, he denies it only because he already has his own.

For the most part, with the apartment, it feels like any agreement with a roommate. When will each person do their chores, what chores, how frequent? What are your schedules like? You tend to stay up late while Alhaitham is more than likely to sleep earlier to get his full night's rest.

"I work at 9 AM so I'll most likely be awake by 8," he tells you, "and come home at around 5:30 PM."

"I'll let you know my schedule for each week," you offer. "It's not as consistent as yours so I might work weekends too." You laugh at the quick grimace from Alhaitham. "It's not too bad. It's not like I work weekdays AND weekends. It just depends." You check your watch. "I can cook for tonight," you tell him, rummaging through the newly stocked drawers for utensils. It's been cold lately, so you think some stew would taste nice. You glance up at him right as he nods, and you wonder if he would be open to eating together.

It would be your first meal together, and the thought makes you a little giddy.

You open your mouth to say something when he speaks first. "Thanks," he says simply. He begins to turn away when you scramble to gather your courage and speak up again.

"Um, Alhaitham- ow!" You wave your hand in pain briefly after you bump it onto the corner of the drawer.

"Yes?"

"Would it be okay if we ate dinner together?" You ask. The ladle is still in your right hand, making you feel more childish than you want to be.

Alhaitham pauses for a second, and you hold on hope that at the very least, his first instinct isn't to say 'no.' "Based on your question," he says, "I'm assuming you mean for all our dinners, not just this one?"

Passively, yes, but you had intended to work up to asking him to eat dinner with you as a routine rather than come out the door with the suggestion. "Yeah," you say, not one to play coy. "I was thinking of tonight but if we could make it a 'thing' we do together that would be nice."

A part of you who still rejects the concept of an arranged marriage roils at the thought that you have to ask to eat dinner with your fiancé. The other part finds it a welcome challenge. And the other, larger part of you just wants to eat dinner with your fiancé; you try not to look so eager.

You are very adept at masking your emotions, as Alhaitham has observed. You are careful to not react when you ask him a question about his opinions on this or that so as to not sway him one way or another. You freely express yourself any other time though, your emotions painting your eyes, brows, and mouth to convey how you feel.

Alhaitham can see the way your eyes widen in anticipation and the grip on your ladle tighten as you hope that he says yes. He doesn't particularly find the idea whichever way. If anything, it is a natural thing to eat at the same time considering how you split your roles as cooks evenly.

But, hm, eating together is more than just eating at the same time, isn't it? It means eating at the same table with your presence at the forefront. Luckily, he finds that you are not an unpleasant person to be with, so until further notice, Alhaitham finds no problems with doing this with you. It is only a matter of time for the two of you to get to know each other, if only to gauge for compatibility. Besides it's a small act for something that makes you giddy and smile all throughout dinner.

There is no conversation at the table yet; you hardly know each other to come up with any worthwhile topics. But when he compliments your food for being flavorful (much like his mother's cooking, actually), he watches you hide your smile behind another bite of food before going into depth about the recipe.

Alhaitham thinks that you may be easy to please, but he finds that he does not mind that at all.

Alhaitham offers to do the dishes and it is hard for you not to beam at him at the suggestion. You clean up the table and set away any leftovers for another day. You don't have work tomorrow on this Tuesday but you know Alhaitham does so you glance over your shoulder and ask if he would like to pack lunch.

His shoulders are broad and his back expansive when you look over. When he responds, you try to not look so dreamy.

"The leftovers?" He asks, glancing down at the bowl. "If you won't be needing it then I wouldn't mind taking it to work."

"Okay, then I'll pack it for you?"

"Thank you."

The tupperware seals cleanly over the dinner you made, and you place it into the fridge for Alhaitham tomorrow. You sneak another peek at him as he places the dishes onto the rack to dry. It's not as if you are easy to enamor, but the domesticity of him washing dishes makes your heart flutter with affection.

You're almost tempted to write a note for him on his lunch. Something cute, but not too much. Something basic to start with? You take another glance at Alhaitham before shaking your head. Best not to start off too strong; Alhaitham seems like the type of person to go at a steady, calm pace while you're the impatient one, trying to race off without preparations.

Maybe you can write him a note next time?

Alhaitham is not a heavy sleeper, so when he feels you climb out of bed at around midnight, he wonders where you went if not straight to the restroom. You pad back to the room just as quietly as you left, much to your credit, and slide back under the sheets.

The next morning, Alhaitham readies for his day at work, brushing his teeth and washing his face with only basic soap and water-- you had stared at him enviously at the lack of product he uses-- as you sleep on in your shared bed, unaware of it all. He opens the fridge when he heads into the kitchen to find his packed lunch to see the tupperware with an addition sitting on top of it: a small bag of peeled orange slices and a note that he concludes must be in your handwriting.

"Have a good day at work! The oranges are yours too. :)”

Alhaitham finds a pen on the counter and writes his own message below it before placing it onto the counter where you can easily find it.

(It's a short 'thank you' from Alhaitham. It's not much, but it is something– or at least it's enough to put a smile on your face the next morning. You pick up the paper and let your eyes scan over the words. His handwriting is neat, to the point, and somewhat elegant, much like himself.

You sigh dreamily.)

It isn't unusual for Alhaitham to prepare meals and pack his own lunch. He goes for whatever tends to be available in his fridge or opts to eat in the first-floor cafe for the sake of convenience. Having someone pack his lunch is a novelty; the last time someone has done that for him was in middle school when his mother did it for him.

It takes him the entire fifteen-minute commute to work for him to notice that he is still thinking about your note. That must be why you had stepped out last night: to write the note. Your handwriting is neat, rounded and connected as though you are used to thinking too quick for your hand to write. The note is ripped from a little notepad that you had brought over, like you're used to writing messages for little lunches that you make. Little details in the actions that he gets to find out. It gets his mind off of traffic well enough and even as he walks through the office building door.

The oranges are a nice touch. Alhaitham doesn't remember you peeling them before the two of you went off to bed, so you must have done it the same time you wrote the message. He'll be sure to remember to tell you not to put in the hassle of doing something that late at night; no need to waste time sleeping doing this for him.

Alhaitham pauses his movement as he clocks into his workplace.

For some reason, the phrasing doesn't sit right with him. He has a feeling that it will only discourage you and push you to do more, which is the opposite of what he wants. He'll need to think of a better strategy to tell you, but that's a problem for later. He manages to dodge most of his coworkers on the way to his secretarial office where he sits on his ergonomic chair he purchased himself; no need to wear himself out doing his job, after all.

He lets out a long breath as he turns on his monitor and checks his emails, only to find that he has two meetings to go to that morning that, based on the descriptions, might as well just be emails. It’s going to be one of those days, he thinks blandly and gets to work.

Though most days pass by without much event, Alhaitham, much like anyone else, looks forward to the half-hour lunch break. He normally doesn’t need an alarm to remind him, because like clockwork, Dehya will come into his office and pop her head in. "Hey, Alhaitham," Dehya says, right at noon. "Nilou was asking the office if we wanted anything from the cafe so she could go grab it."

“No, I have lunch today,” Alhaitham says, and he doesn’t need to look at her to know that she shrugs before closing the door. With how loud it’s getting, it seems to be the cue for his break as well.

The lunch he takes out from the tupperware is as good as it was yesterday. Alhaitham eats his lunch and wonders if this is the type of life he would have if he got married. So far, so good– though he supposes it's too early to say having only been living under the same room for a few days and speaking on regular terms only a few days more. The two of you are bound to find something to disagree on: it's only a matter of when. Though, for the first time, Alhaitham thinks perhaps it won't be as much of a hassle as it could be with you.

It's sweet, he thinks, popping a slice of oranges into his mouth. It seems to be a theme with you, if the past few days are of any indication. Alhaitham has yet to update his grandmother (or parents, by extension) but he can already feel the mild smugness she’ll exude when he eventually calls her and tells her how well it’s actually going. So far, anyways. The cynic in him knows they could be one argument away from dissolution, but he is anything if not a pragmatist. With how willing you are to compromise and to talk things through with him, he thinks there’s a possibility that the two of you can get through any possible conflict.

It’s a foreign feeling, he thinks, to have belief in something to last, but he supposes there is always a chance for something new, even for him. Something tells him that if you knew that was how he felt, you would be elated.

You’re easy to please in that way, with your perpetual smile and abundant laughter; Alhaitham finds he does not mind that part of you at all.

#alhaitham x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham #al haitham x reader #any guesses to where they went shopping flajsdflkajsfl #oh frozen yogurt how i love u

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daceydeath · 1 year

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The Next Step

Pairing: Seungmin x Reader Word Count: 1.3k Genre: Fluff, Smut 🔞, slice of life Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, swearing, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (don't try this at home) Requested

You and your wonderful boyfriend Seungmin had been together for a while but what was the next step in your relationship?

It had started out as a cute little "family" dinner with his members all sitting around the lounge area eating pizza, drinking and talking about recording the new album, what dramas and movies they had been watching and in jokes that just never seemed to die. It was nice to see them all so comfortable and relaxed they had been away from each other for the past week visiting their own family and enjoying there time off so it was enjoyable to you.

"Alright before this gets too messy" Seungmin announced putting his drink down on the table and searching his pockets "I have something I want to share". You looked at him curiously wondering what on earth he was talking about and why Chan and Lee Know who looked suspiciously starry eyed.

"So you all know how shit sneaking the girls in here is and how annoying it is to figure out who needs to be out when so I have partially solved the problem" He announced to applause from Chan and continued quizzical glances from the others as he pulled a key ring with a Pompompurin handing from it out and held his hand out to you. Slowly reaching out you opened your palm and let him drop the 'gift' into your hand, it was a shiny key that did nothing to dissipate your confusion.

"It's a key babe" you blinked still trying to figure out what that mean.

"Holy shit you're moving in with us?" Jeongin squeaked

"No dumbass" Seungmin rolled his eyes.

"I don't get it" Hyunjin whisper shouted looking to Han and Changbin who just shrugged

"Bunny, move in with me? I got an apartment for us on the next floor" Seungmin smiled widely his eyes bright with hope and love as you threw your arms around him nodding.

"Aww cute" Chan giggled.

"You're leaving us?" Felix gasped.

"When are you getting married?" Changbin hollered.

"I am totally the maid of honor" Han demanded.

"Love you bunny" Seungmin whispered into your hair.

"I love you more" you murmured back kissing him sweetly despite the yelling that would inevitably follow.

That had been a week ago and now you were sitting on the floor of the apartment, the new apartment, no Seungmin and your new apartment. Surrounded by boxes you sat exhausted from moving everything up from the garage even with the help of his 3 gym bro hyungs it had been a lot of work for you. Seungmin had offered to put the bed together while you started sorting out the basics for the kitchen, plates, cups, cutlery and the most important part of the kitchen the coffee machine.

"Bun? Do you know where we packed the sheets?" Seungmin called interrupting you laying on the lounge room floor trying to figure out exactly how you both had so much stuff.

"Box named linen babe" You called back looking up at the ceiling.

"Oh right" he chuckled and you could hear him making up the bed as your eyes drifted closed the whole ideal of having Seungmin to yourself even if it was just for a few hours in his busy periods everyday was a dream for you "You ok my sleepy little bunny?" you heard him smiled as his fingers brushed through your hair.

"I'm fine" you sighed happily "I'm tired but this seems to good to be true".

"What does? us living here together?" he murmured his hand grasping yours to help you up.

"Yeah, I knew one day you would want to move in together, maybe talk about serious things like marriage or babies, but I didn't think you would want this while you were still touring and performing" you admitted your eyes meeting his beautiful deep umber eyes.

"Come here bunny, let me show you how serious I am about sharing my life with you" he led you from the box filled lounge into the doorway of your sparsely furnished shared bedroom. "I'm going to wake up beside you in that bed right there from now on, I want you beside me always bunny" he whispered his voice coming out huskier than normal while his breath on your neck made you shiver in his hold.

"Seung" you breathed closing your eyes again as his lips descended onto you neck kissing your feather lightly while his arms wrapped around you pressing you against his chest.

"Hmm?" he teased humming into your skin "Should I keep showing you how serious I am?".

"Yes please" you gasped as he playfully nipped your neck his fingers creeping under your shirt to caress your bare skin making a small puff of air fall from your lips. Continuing his teasing one of his hands moved to cup your breast softly squeezing your flesh his fingers pulling the cup down to roll your already hard nipple between his fingers. His other hand traveled down your body sliding into your sweatpants to cup your core with his large hand, the warmth of it making you bite your lips as he slowly continued his teasing of your tits.

"More?" he smirked making you nod rapidly and feeling you lean heavier on his chest "anything for you bun" he smiled against your ear pulling his hands from your body to pull your shirt over your hear and unclasp your bra. Scooping you up he lowered your body to sit on the edge of the bed, easily kneeling between your legs and hell pulled both your sweatpants and underwear away with one strong tug. Now bare and exposed with his body keeping your legs spread he lazily rang one finger through your slit collecting your dripping essence while you whimpered at his touch.

"You are so wet for me already bun" he groaned before crashing his lips into yours for a passionate but messy kiss "You going to let me eat your perfect pussy bun?"

"Please Seung touch me" you whimpered again while he hooked your legs over this shoulders and licked the first fat stripe up your slit making you fall back against the mattress as his tongue circled around your clit and then back to your entrance lapping up every drop of arousal from between your thighs. His fast kitten licks to your clit and his long fingers circling your entrance before sliding one inside you to stretch your walls was making you dizzy groans and gasps of pleasure falling from your lips.

"You taste so sweet and all for me" he mumbled against your wet skin as you arched off the bed panting sucking on your clit harshly he moved his fingers you brush against the spot that makes your eyes roll back in your head until you came hard on his fingers and tongue. Not giving you time to come down from your high he pushed you further onto the bed pulling the sweatpants he was wearing enough to let his throbbing length spring free and sheathing himself into you cursing as he bottomed out inside your still convulsing walls.

"Let me hear you bun, there is no one else here" he grunted thrusting into you deeply and making you whine, his hips smacked against your spread thighs as he loomed over you his hooded eyes blown out with lust as you finally started making the noises he wanted.

"Seung, oh shit, right there" you mewled as he hit that spot deep inside you again and again "Fuck Seungmin"

"God you make the prettiest noises bun" he groaned as he felt you tightening around him as you reached your next climax.

"Seungmin" you wailed as your vision went white momentarily as intense pleasure flooded your body, your walls squeezing him and making him spill his seed inside you and he fucked you through your high.

"You are fucking perfect bun" he panted slipping himself from your sensitive core and pulling you into his arms.

"I love you Seung" you murmured against his chest wrapped tightly in his arms.

"I love you too, thank you for letting us start this part of our lives" he sighed happily pulling the blankets around you and placing a soft kiss to your nose.

a/n: Thank you for reading you guys are just the greatest, all comments, reblogs and likes just blow my mind because you are all far too kind to me xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @tara-skyhold, @bakedlilgoonie, @krishastumblernow,

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #skz seungmin #kim seungmin smut #seungmin smut #stray kids smut #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #stray kids requests #skz requests #stray kids fluff #skz fanfics #stray kids fanfic #18+ content #18+ minors dni

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werewolfetone · 1 year

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Emmet's Proclamation, 1803

Proclamation of the Irish Republic, issued by Robert Emmet, July 23rd, 1803, at the outset of the second United Irishmen revolt.

THE PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT

THE PEOPLE OF IRELAND

You are now called on to shew to the world that you are competent to take your place among nations, that you have a right to claim their recognizance of you, as an independent country, by the only satisfactory proof you can furnish of your capability of maintaining your independence, your wresting it from England with your own hands.

In the development of this system, which has been organized within the last eight months, at the close of internal defeat and without the hope of foreign assistance; which has been conducted with a tranquillity, mistaken for obedience; which neither the failure of a similar attempt in England has retarded, nor the renewal of hostilities has accelerated; in the development of this system you will show to the people of England, that there is a spirit of perseverance in this country, beyond their power to calculate or to repress; you will show to them that as long as they think to hold unjust dominion over Ireland, under no change of circumstances can they count on its obedience; under no aspect of affairs can they judge of its intentions; you will show to them that the question which it now behoves them to take into serious and instant consideration, is not, whether they will resist a separation, which it is our fixed determination to effect, but whether or not, they will drive us beyond separation; whether they will by a sanguinary resistance create a deadly national antipathy between the two countries, or whether they will take the only means still left, of driving such a sentiment from our minds, a prompt, manly, and sagacious acquiescence, in our just and unalterable determination.

If the secrecy with which the present effort has been conducted, shall have led our enemies to suppose that its extent must have been partial, a few days will undeceive them. That confidence, which was once lost, by trusting to external support, and suffering our own means to be gradually undermined, has been again restored. We have been mutually pledged to each other, to look only to our own strength, and that the first introduction of a system of terror, the first attempt to execute an individual in one county, should be the signal of insurrection in all. We have now, without the loss of a man, with our means of communication untouched, brought our plans to the moment when they are ripe for execution, and in the promptitude with which nineteen counties will come forward at once to execute them, it will be found that neither confidence nor communication are wanting to the people of Ireland.

In calling on our countrymen to come forward, we feel ourselves bound, at the same time, to justify our claim to their confidence by a precise declaration of our views. We therefore solemnly declare, that our object is to establish a free and independent republic in Ireland: that the pursuit of this object we will relinquish only with our lives: that we will never, unless at the express call of our country, abandon our post, until the acknowledgment of its independence is obtained from England; and that we will enter into no negotiation (but for exchange of prisoners) with the government of that country while a British army remains in Ireland. Such is the declaration which we call on the people of Ireland to support — And we call first on that part of Ireland which was once paralysed by the want of intelligence, to shew that to that cause only was its inaction to be attributed; on that part of Ireland which was once foremost, by its fortitude in suffering; on that part of Ireland which once offered to take the salvation of the country on itself; on that part of Ireland where the flame of liberty first glowed; we call upon the NORTH to stand up and shake off their Slumber and their oppression.

MEN of LEINSTER, stand to your arms.

To the courage which you have already displayed, is your country indebted for the confidence which it now feels in its own strength, and for the dismay with which our enemies will be overwhelmed when they shall find this effort to be universal. But men of Leinster, you owe more to your country than the having animated it by your past example; you owe more to your own courage, than the having obtained, by it a protection. If six years ago, when you rose without arms, without plan, without co-operation, with more troops against you alone, than are now in the country at large; you were able to remain for six weeks in open defiance of the government, and within a few miles of the capital what will you not now effect, with that capital, and every other part of Ireland ready to support you? But it is not on this head that we have need to address you. No we now speak to you, and through you, to the rest of Ireland, on a subject, dear to us even as the success of our country, — its honour. You are accused by your enemies of having violated that honour; excesses which they themselves had in their fullest extent provoked, but which they have grossly exaggerated, have been attributed to you. The opportunity of vindicating yourselves by actions, is now for the first time before you; and we call upon you to give the lie to such assertions, by carefully avoiding every appearance of plunder, intoxication, or revenge; recollecting that you lost Ireland before, not from want of courage, but from not having that courage rightly directed by discipline. But we trust that your past sufferings, have taught you experience, and that you will respect the declaration which we now make and which we are determined by every means in our power to enforce.

The nation alone possesses the right of punishing individuals, and whosoever shall put another person to death, except in battle, without a fair trial by his country, is guilty of murder. The intention of the provisional government of Ireland, is to claim from the English government, such Irishmen as have been sold or transported, by it for their attachment to freedom; and for this purpose, it will retain as hostages for their safe return, such adherents of that government as shall fall into its hands. It therefore calls upon the people to respect those hostages, and to recollect that in spilling their blood, they would leave their own countrymen in the hands of their enemies.

The intention of the provisional government, is to resign its functions, as soon as the nation shall have chosen its delegates, but in the mean time, it is determined to enforce the regulations hereunto subjoined; — It in consequence takes the property of the country under its protection, and will punish with the utmost rigour any person who shall violate that property, and thereby injure the present resources and the future prosperity of Ireland.

Whoever refuses to march to whatever part of the country he is ordered, is guilty of disobedience to the government, which alone is competent to decide in what place his services are necessary, and which desires him to recollect, that in whatever part of Ireland he is fighting, he is still fighting for its freedom.

Whoever presumes by acts or otherwise to give countenance to the calumny propagated by our enemies, that this is a religious contest, is guilty of the grievous crime of belying the motives of his country. Religious disqualification is but one of the many grievances of which Ireland has to complain. Our intention is to remove not that only, but every other oppression under which we labour. We fight, that all of us may have our country, and that done — each of us shall have his religion.

We are aware of the apprehensions which you have expressed, that in quitting your own counties, you leave your wives and children, in the hands of your enemies; but on this head have no uneasiness. If there are still men base enough to persecute those, who are unable to resist, shew them by your victories that we have the power to punish, and by your obedience, that we have the power to protect, and we pledge ourselves to you, that these men shall be made to feel, that the safety of every thing they hold dear, depends on the conduct they observe to you. Go forth then with confidence, conquer the foreign enemies of your country, and leave to us the care of preserving its internal tranquillity; recollect that not only the victory, but also the honour of your country, is placed in your hands; give up your private resentments, and shew to the world, that the Irish, are not only a brave, but also a generous and forgiving people.

MEN of MUNSTER and CONNAUGHT

You have your instructions, we trust that you will execute them. The example of the rest of your countrymen is now before you; your own strength is unbroken;-five months ago you were eager to act without any other assistance. We now call upon you to shew, what you then declared you only wanted the opportunity of proving, that you possess the same love of liberty and the same courage with which the rest of your countrymen are animated.

We now turn to that portion of our countrymen whose prejudices we had rather overcome by a frank declaration of our intentions, than conquer their persons in the field; and in making this declaration, we do not wish to dwell on events, which, however, they may bring tenfold odium on their authors, must still tend to keep alive in the minds both of the instruments and victims of them, a spirit of animosity which it is our wish to destroy. We will therefore enter into no detail of the atrocities and oppression which Ireland has laboured under during its connexion with England; but we justify our determination to separate from that country on the broad historical statement, that during six hundred years she has been unable to conciliate the affections of the people of Ireland; that during that time, five rebellions were entered into, to shake off the yoke; that she has been obliged to resort to a system of unprecedented torture in her defence; that she has broken every tie of voluntary connexion by taking even the name of independence from Ireland, through the intervention of a parliament notoriously bribed, and not representing the will of the people; that in her vindication of this measure she has herself given the justification of the views of the United Irishmen, by declaring in the words of her ministers,

"That Ireland never had, and never could enjoy under the then circumstances the benefit of British connexion; that it necessarily must happen when one country is connected with another, that the interests of the lesser will be borne down by those of the greater. That England has supported and encouraged the English colonists in their oppression towards the natives of Ireland; that Ireland had been left in a state of ignorance, rudeness and barbarism, worse in its effects, and more degrading in its nature, than that in which it was found six centuries before."

Now to what cause are these things to be attributed? Did the cause of the almighty keep alive a spirit of obstinacy in the minds of the Irish people for six hundred years?

Did the doctrines of the French revolution produce five rebellions? Could the misrepresentations of ambitious and designing men drive from the mind of a whole people, the recollection of defeat, and raise the infant from the cradle, with the same feelings with which his father sunk into the grave? Will this gross avowal which our enemies have made of their own views, remove none of the calumny that has been thrown upon ours? Will none of the credit [which] has been lavished on them, be transferred to the solemn declaration which we now make in the face of god and our country. We war not against property — We war against no religious sect — We war not against past opinions or prejudices — We war against English dominion. We will not however deny, that there are some men, who, not because they have supported the government of our oppressors, but because they have violated the common laws of morality, which exist alike under all or under no government; have put it beyond our power to give to them the protection of a government. We will not hazard the influence we may have with the people, and the power it may give us of preventing the excesses of revolution, by undertaking to place in tranquillity the man who has been guilty of torture, free quarters, rape and murder, by the side of the sufferer or their relations; but in the frankness with which we warn these men of their danger, let those who do not feel that they have passed this boundary of mediation, count on their safety.

We had hoped for the sake of our enemies to have taken them by surprize, and to have committed the cause of our country before they could have time to commit themselves against it, but though we have not altogether been able to succeed, we are yet rejoiced to find that they have not come forward with promptitude on the side of those who have deceived them, and we now call on them before it is yet too late, not to commit themselves further against a people they are unable to resist, and in support of a government, which, by their own declaration has forfeited its claim to their allegiance.

To that government in whose hands, though not the issue, at least the features with which the present contest is to be marked, and placed, we now turn. How is it to be decided? Is open and honourable force alone to be resorted to, or is it your intention to employ those laws which custom has placed in your hands, and to force us to employ the law of retaliation in our defence?

Of the inefficacy of a system of terror, in preventing the people of Ireland from coming forward to assert their freedom, you have already had experience. Of the effect which such a system will have on our minds in case of success, we have already forewarned you — We now address to you another consideration — If in the question which is now to receive a solemn and we trust final decision, if we have been deceived reflection would point out that conduct should be resorted to, which was the best calculated to produce conviction on our minds. What would that conduct be? It would be to shew to us that the difference of strength between the two countries [is such], as to render it unnecessary for you to bring out all your force; to shew to us that you have something in reserve wherewith to crush hereafter, not only a greater exertion on the part of the people, but a greater exertion, rendered still greater by foreign assistance: It would be to shew to us that what we have vainly supported to be a prosperity growing beyond your grasp, is only a partial exuberance requiring but the pressure of your hand to reduce it into form. But for your own sake do not resort to a system, which while it increased the acrimony of our minds would leave us under the melancholy delusion that we had been forced to yield, not to the sound and temperate exertions of superior strength, but to the frantick struggles of weakness, concealing itself under desperation. Consider also that the distinction of rebel and enemy is of a very fluctuating nature; that during the course of your own experience you have already been obliged to lay it aside; that should you be forced to abandon it towards Ireland you cannot hope to do so as tranquilly as you have done towards America, for in the exasperated state to which you have raised the minds of the Irish people; a people whom you profess to have left in a state of barbarism and ignorance, with what confidence can you say to that people "while the advantage of cruelty lay upon our side, we slaughtered you without mercy, but the measure of our own blood is beginning to preponderate, it is no longer our interest that this bloody system should continue, shew us then, that forbearance which we never taught you by precept or example, lay aside your resentments, give quarter to us, and let us mutually forget, that we never gave quarter to you." Cease then we entreat you uselessly to violate humanity by resorting to a system inefficacious as an instrument of terror, inefficacious as a mode of defence, inefficacious as a mode of conviction, ruinous to the future relations of the two countries in case of our success, and destructive of those instruments of defence which you will then find it doubly necessary to have preserved unimpaired. But if your determination be otherwise, hear ours. We will not imitate you in cruelty; we will put no man to death in cold blood, the prisoners which first fall into our hands shall be treated with the respect due to the unfortunate; but if the life of a single Irish solder is taken after the battle is over, the orders thence forth to be issued to the Irish army are neither to give or take quarter. Countrymen if a cruel necessity forces us to retaliate, we will bury our resentments in the field of battle, if we are to fall, we will fall where we fight for our country — Fully impressed with this determination, of the necessity of adhering to which past experience has but too fatally convinced us; fully impressed with the justice of our cause which we now put to issue. We make our last and solemn appeal to the sword and to Heaven; and as the cause of Ireland deserves to prosper, may God give it Victory.

Conformably to the above proclamation, the Provisional Government of Ireland, decree that as follows.

From the date and promulgation hereof, tithes are for ever abolished, and church lands are the property of the nation. From the same date, all transfers of landed property are prohibited, each person, holding what he now possesses, on paying his rent until the national government is established, the national will declared, and the courts of justice organized.

From the same date, all transfer of Bonds, debentures, and all public securities, are in like manner and form forbidden, and declared void, for the same time, and for the same reasons.

The Irish generals commanding districts shall seize such of the partizans of England as may serve for hostages, and shall apprize the English commander opposed to them, that a strict retaliation shall take place if any outrages contrary to the laws of war shall be committed by the troops under his command, or by the partizans of England in the district which he occupies.

That the Irish generals are to treat (except where retaliation makes it necessary) the English troops who may fall into their hands, or such Irish as serve in the regular forces of England, and who shall have acted conformably to the laws of war, as prisoners of war; but all Irish militia, yeoman, or volunteer corps, or bodies of Irish, or individuals, who fourteen days from the promulgation and date hereof, shall be found in arms, shall be considered as rebels, committed for trial, and their properties confiscated.

The generals are to assemble court-martials, who are to be sworn to administer justice; who are not to condemn without sufficient evidence, and before whom all military offenders are to be sent instantly for trial.

No man is to suffer death by their sentence, except for mutiny; the sentences of such others as are judged worthy of death, shall not be put in execution until the provisional government declares its will, nor are court-martials on any pretext to sentence, nor is any officer to suffer the punishment of flogging, or any species of torture, to be inflicted.

The generals are to enforce the strictest discipline, and to send offenders immediately before court-martials, and are enjoined to chase away from the Irish armies all such as shall disgrace themselves by being drunk in presence of the enemy.

The generals are to apprize their respective armies, that all military stores, arms, or ammunition, belonging to the English government, be the property of the captors and the value is to divided equally without respect of rank between them, except that the widows, orphans, parents, or other heirs of such as gloriously fall in the attack, shall be entitled to a double share.

As the English nation has made war on Ireland, all English property in ships or otherwise, is subject to the same rule, and all transfer of them is forbidden and declared void, in like manner as is expressed in No. 2 and 3.

The generals of the different districts are hereby empowered to confer rank up to colonels inclusive, on such as they conceive to merit it from the nation, but are not to make more colonels than one for fifteen hundred men, nor more Lieutenant-Colonels than one for every thousand men.

The generals shall seize on all sums of public money in the custom-houses in their districts, or in the hands of the different collectors, county treasurers, or other revenue officers, whom they shall render responsible for the sums in their hands. The generals shall pass receipts for the amount, and account to the provisional government for the expenditure.

When the people elect their officers up to the colonels, the general is bound to confirm it — no officer can be broke but by sentence of a court-martial.

The generals shall correspond with the provisional government, to whom they shall give details of all their operations, they are to correspond with the neighbouring generals to whom they are to transmit all necessary intelligence, and to co-operate with them.

The generals commanding in each county shall as soon as it is cleared of the enemy, assemble the county committee, who shall be elected conformably to the constitution of United Irishmen, all the requisitions necessary for the army shall be made in writing by the generals to the committee, who are hereby empowered and enjoined to pass their receipts for each article to the owners, to the end that they may receive their full value from the nation.

The county committee is charged with the civil direction of the county, the care of the national property, and the preservation of order and justice in the county; for which purpose the county committees are to appoint a high-sheriff, and one or more sub-sheriffs to execute their orders, a sufficient number of justices of the peace for the county, a high and a sufficient number of petty constables in each barony, who are respectively charged with the duties now performed by these magistrates.

The county of Cork on account of its extent, is to be divided conformably to the boundaries for raising the militia into the counties of north and south Cork, for each of which a county constable, high-sheriff and all magistrates above directed are to be appointed.

The county committee are hereby empowered and enjoined to issue warrants to apprehend such persons as it shall appear, on sufficient evidence perpetrated murder, torture, or other breaches of the acknowledged laws of war and morality on the people, to the end that they may be tried for those offences, so soon as the competent courts of justice are established by the nation.

The county committee shall cause the sheriff or his officers to seize on all the personal and real property of such persons, to put seals on their effects, to appoint proper persons to preserve all such property until the national courts of justice shall have decided on the fate of the proprietors.

The county committee shall act in like manner, with all state and church lands, parochial estates, and all public lands and edifices. The county committee shall in the interim receive all the rents and debts of such persons and estates, and shall give receipts for the same, shall transmit to the provisional government an exact account of their value, extent and amount, and receive the directions of the provisional government thereon.

They shall appoint some proper house in the counties where the sheriff is permanently to reside, and where the county committee shall assemble, they shall cause all the records and papers of the county to be there transferred, arranged, and kept, and the orders of government are there to be transmitted and received.

The county committee is hereby empowered to pay out of these effects, or by assessment, reasonable salaries for themselves, the sheriff, justices and other magistrates whom they shall appoint. They shall keep a written journal of all their proceedings signed each day by the members of the committee, or a sufficient number of them for the inspection of government.

The county committee shall correspond with government on all the subjects with which they are charged, and transmit to the general of the district such information as they may conceive useful to the public.

The county committee shall take care that the state prisoners, however great their offences, shall be treated with humanity, and allow them a sufficient support to the end that all the world may know, that the Irish nation is not actuated by the spirit of revenge, but of justice.

The provisional government wishing to commit as soon as possible the sovereign authority to the people, direct that each county and city shall elect agreeably to the constitution of United Irishmen, representatives to meet in Dublin, to whom the moment they assemble the provisional government will resign its functions; and without presuming to dictate to the people, they beg to suggest, that for the important purpose to which these electors are called, integrity of character should be the first object.

The number of representatives being arbitrary, the provisional government have adopted that of the late house of commons, three hundred, and according to the best return of the population of the cities and counties the following numbers are to be returned from each: – Antrim 13 – Armagh 9 – Belfast town 1 – Carlow 3 – Cavan 7 – Clare 8 – Cork county, north 14 – Cork co. south 14 – Cork city 6 – Donegal 10 – Down 6 – Drogheda 1 – Dublin county 4 – Dublin city 14 – Fermanagh 5 – Galway 10 – Kerry 9 – Kildare 4 – Kilkenny 7 – Kings county 6 – Leitrim 5 – Limerick county 10 – Limerick city 3 – Londonderry 9 – Longford 4 – Louth 4 – Mayo 12 – Meath 9 – Monaghan 9 – Queen’s county 6 – Roscommon 8 – Sligo 6 – Tipperary 13 – Tyrone 14 – Waterford county 6 – Waterford city 2 – Westmeath 5 – Wexford 9 – Wicklow 5

In the cities the same sort of regulations as in the counties shall be adopted; the city committee shall appoint one or more sheriffs as they think proper, and shall take possession of all the public and corporation properties in their jurisdiction in like manner as is directed for counties.

The provisional government strictly exhort and enjoin all magistrates, officers, civil and military, and the whole of the nation, to cause the laws of Morality to be enforced and respected, and to execute as far as in them lies justice with mercy, by whcih [sic] alone liberty can be established, and the blessings of divine providence secured.

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