#ONE CINNAMON STICK FOR A GALLON OF MILK????

[tooquirkytolose]

My mom taught me how to make champurrado for Dia de los Muertos, but her recipe was....severely lacking so any time she wasn't looking I'd add extra cinnamon sticks or anise, chocolate, etc etc and the whole experience felt like this

#ONE CINNAMON STICK FOR A GALLON OF MILK???? #i think not mother dearest!!!!

[fruitcoops]

Opening your page always reminds me of Jules- and we haven't seen him in a while!! Can he come back in one of your fics soon ?

Jules <3 Always a legend, always beloved here. Character credit goes to @lumosinlove, Hattie belongs to me, and the cinnamon roll recipe is lifted directly from this video by Claire Saffitz on the NYT channel! Bon appetit!

“Hello MTV, and welcome to my crib.” Remus paused, then turned to Julian. “Do you understand that reference?”

“No.”

“That’s so depressing. Why are you so young?”

“Why are you so old?”

Remus wrinkled his nose and turned back to the camera. “Welcome to a new installment of Lion Pride’s baking series. I’m Remus Lupin, and I’m here today with my little brother to make everyone’s favorite breakfast food—”

“Pancakes.”

“—cinnamon rolls.” Remus frowned down at where his brother was kneeling on a stool and rocking gently back and forth. “You knew that. We practiced.”

Julian arched a brow at him. “My favorite breakfast food isn’t cinnamon rolls.”

“Not everything is about you.” A light poke to his forehead made Julian stick his tongue out. Remus stifled a smile. “You ready?”

“To eat a spoonful of icing? Duh.”

“We’ll get there eventually.” Remus pulled a large ceramic bowl from the collection of dishware to his left; the pattern was faded around the rim from years of use, but the bowl itself was shiny and clearly cared-for. “Alright,” he began. “I’m not a huge baker, but Jules and I grew up with Saturday cinnamon rolls, so this is a bit of a family recipe. Someone is probably going to type it up for you guys since my handwriting is iffy—”

“Literally unreadable,” Julian coughed.

“Shut up. The recipe will be somewhere on the Lion Pride website, or linked in the description below. In the meantime, we’re going to do a step-by-step demonstration for anyone who would like to try this at home. Milk?”

Julian passed the half-gallon over before looking to the camera. “This recipe is also going to be on our mom’s Instagram, if you look up ‘baking with Hope’. All one word, no caps.”

Remus snorted as he measured the milk into a pan waiting on the stovetop. “Nice. Love the shameless plug.”

“I made a bet with Dad that she’d have more followers than you by the end of the year.”

“Of course you did.” Remus shook his head, but it was more fond than anything. “We’re measuring a cup of milk into a pot on the stove, and then we’re going to warm it up until there are tiny bubbles on the sides.”

“That’s called a simmer, for anyone watching,” Julian informed the camera.

“It’s called bubbles, for the rest of us plebians.”

“What’s a plebian?”

“You.” Remus took a whisk from a small bowl on the side and stirred gently. “Timing for this step kind of depends on your stove, so just keep an eye out and make sure it doesn’t burn. We’re going to keep the milk at the small bubble stage—”

“Simmering.”

“—for….a minute? Ish?” He shrugged. “Until it steams. Then we’ll turn the heat off and measure out a third of a cup.”

Julian pushed his elbows onto the countertop, leaning over to watch. “You should tell the people we’re doing this at night.”

“What? Oh, yeah, this is an overnight thing. It’s currently…” Remus squinted to something off-screen. “Just before eight in the evening. We’re going to let the dough rest overnight, then finish in the morning.”

“We’re staying over for the P-L-A-Y-O-F-F’s,” Julian said. They reached down to knock on the cabinets in unison with near-identical grins.

“We deserve some cinnamon rolls.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Ew, don’t swear on camera.”

“That’s not swearing.”

Remus raised his eyebrows and gave a threatening shake of the whisk. “If you drop a swear word right now, I’m hitting you with this. That’s a promise.”

“You’re the one that taught me all the swear words!”

“So not true.” Remus stirred the milk once more, tapping the whisk gently on the side of the pot. “Dad is responsible for at least half. Okay, this has been bubbling for a little while, so I’m going to turn the heat off and pour about a third of a cup into the bowl over here. Then Jules is going to add some flour to the main pot and give it a stir.”

Julian took the whisk from him with unbridled glee and dumped the flour in; Remus held the pot handle for him while he mixed, still leaning on the countertop to adjust for height. “It’s getting thicker,” Julian noted with a glance at the camera. “It’s kinda like…paste? Or Nutella.”

Remus’ mouth twitched with a smile. “Nutella is a paste.”

“Nutella is a butter.”

“It’s literally hazelnut and chocolate paste.”

“Butter is just milk paste.”

“That’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to me,” Remus laughed. “God. Okay. Once your milk and flour looks thick like this, you’re going to add it to the big bowl with the other milk in it and add some cold water so your rolls aren’t messed up.”

“That was so scientific,” Julian said dryly.

“This is a lot of criticism from a kid that doesn’t even like cinnamon rolls.”

“I like them. They’re just not my favorite.”

“Then you’re lame, and I don’t want to hear it.” Remus clapped his hands on either side of the bowl and looked into the lens. “Wow, this is going to take forever. I’m not a baker. Bear with me. We’re adding three eggs to the bowl and whisking that, which I’m going to do because I don’t trust people under the age of twelve with raw egg.”

Julian narrowed his eyes. “I’m coming back here in three days and cracking very egg you own.”

Remus smiled. “Happy almost-birthday. Anyway, the bowl is mostly cool now, so we’re going to add all that flour in here—yep, thanks, bud—and then a half-packet of yeast so it gets fluffy.”

“Why isn’t Sirius doing this? He’s better at baking than you are.”

“Wow.”

“He is!”

“You’re not getting a single bite of this frosting.”

“Don’t hide from the truth.”

Remus shook his head at the camera. “This was supposed to be a cute family bonding video. I’m going to mix this now, because apparently I suck at any kind of baking more complicated than that.”

“I didn’t say that, I just asked why Sirius isn’t doing the stuff he likes doing.”

Remus turned the hand-mixer to a lower, quieter setting and rested his hip against the edge of the counter. “How often does Sirius voluntarily get in front of a camera?”

Julian inhaled, then faltered with a grimace. “Hmm. Yeah. Never mind. He’s still better at it than you are.”

“You’re still not getting frosting.” Remus clicked the mixer a notch higher. “We’re keeping this at a pretty low setting so the dough stays soft, and we’re only going to let it run until the dough is one big lump. Now that that’s together, we’re turning the mixer off and covering the bowl with a towel for about five minutes while we get our sugar, salt, and softened butter ready.”

The camera cut briefly; when it returned, Julian was scraping fine crystals off the countertop into a towel Remus was holding over the edge. “Slight problem,” Julian said through a laugh. “Uh, we got a little bit excited about the sugar.”

“Oh, god, it’s getting all over the floor—” Remus straightened slightly and whistled. “Hattie! Treats!”

The house was silent for a moment before the sound of skittering paws reached the camera. Both Remus and Julian broke into wide grins, and Julian dusted his hands onto the floor so he could reach down and pet the pointed ears just barely visible over the counter edge. “Hi, baby,” he cooed, leaning over until he was mostly out of frame. “Aw, little vacuum cleaner. Is sugar bad for dogs?”

“She has eaten so much worse.” The inky tip of Hattie’s tail was the happiest metronome in the world while Remus dumped a small container of salt and sugar into the dough. “We’re going to blend this until the dough gets stretchy instead of lumpy, still on low speed, and—hi, honey, I don’t have anything in my pockets. I promise. No, you can’t eat my keys. There’s definitely still some stuff on the floor for you, though.”

A black nose appeared by Julian’s knee and he giggled as it wandered down the side of his pants, honing in on each pocket. Hattie sneezed when she reached his sock and gave the hem of his pantleg a light nibble. Julian beamed up at Remus. “Can I bring her home with me?”

“If you steal my dog, I’m donating you to Goodwill. Okay, this is going to go for about twenty minutes and they’re definitely going to speed that up in editing, so here’s the rundown: mix this for 20 minutes, add your butter in tablespoon chunks, mix it until the dough is soft, then let it sit on your counter for an hour before putting it in the fridge.”

“Why don’t we just put it right in the fridge?”

“Because the yeast would die.”

Julian’s eyes went wide. “Yeast is alive?”

--

The kitchen was much brighter when the video returned—the new camera angle allowed sunlight to stream in through the side window unhindered, as well as giving an unobstructed view of Hattie on the floor by Remus’ slipper-clad feet. Her yawn squeaked, pink tongue lolling, but her full attention was fixed on the activity above.

“It’s about eight in the morning now, hence the pajamas,” Remus informed the camera. “I took the dough out of the fridge about ten minutes ago, and you can see it’s close to doubled in size.”

Julian gave the bowl a mournful look. The cowlick on the side of his head matched Remus’ with frightening accuracy. “How long is this going to take?”

“You can go back to sleep once it goes in the oven. We’re going to do the filling right now, though.” Remus held a hand out; Julian passed him a crinkly plastic cracker sleeve. “These are airplane cookies. Or biscotti, or whatever the fancy name is. They have cinnamon roll spices in them because I’m too lazy to track down all the individual bottles from the spice cabinet this early. You can probably find them in the recipe. I don’t know. You can crush them in a food processor if you want to wake up your entire family, or you can just use a rolling pin.”

Remus set the sleeve of cookies on the countertop and handed over the rolling pin—one half-started “wait” and an enormous THUD later, both of them were frozen, staring at the ruptured end of the plastic sleeve where shards of cinnamon cookie had burst forth.

“Oops,” Julian whispered.

“Or,” Remus began. “You can give your little brother a rolling pin and kill two birds with one stone.”

“…my bad.”

Remus glanced at the ceiling. They were silent for a handful of seconds. “Honestly, dude, I don’t think anyone noticed.”

Julian muffled a laugh in the crook of his elbow and Remus turned away for a moment to compose himself, filling the kitchen with quiet snickering as Hattie cleaned up the few crumbs that had fallen onto the floor by her paws. Finally, Julian picked up the rolling pin and began gingerly crushing the rest of the cookies. “I’m gonna keep going until it’s kinda powdery, I think.”

“Good plan.” Remus shot a quick, small smile at the camera while he watched Julian work, brow creasing with the effort. “We’ve got a stick and a half of soft butter here when you’re ready.”

It didn’t take long; Julian carefully poured the crushed cookie into a bowl and folded the butter through with a faintly rainbow-tinted spatula. Remus took a pan from the ever-shrinking pile of dishes beside them and lined it with parchment paper, ripping the edges so they would fold nicely in the corners.

“Kay.” Julian tilted his head at the filling and nodded. “It’s smooth.”

“Sick. Scootch over, I’ll roll this out.” Remus tossed a small handful of flour onto the countertop before dumping the dough out, dropping a playful elbow to Julian’s side. “Ope, sorry.”

“You’re so mean to me.”

“Whatever. We’re going to make this into a rectangle so it’s easier, and it should be fine for rolling because it was in the fridge all night. I’m going to flatten this until it’ll fit in the pan. It’ll be…an inch thick? Half an inch, maybe? And then Jules, you’re gonna spread the filling over it.”

Julian frowned. “We’re cooking it flat?”

“What? Why would we do that?”

“You said it should be the length of the pan.”

“Yeah, so that all the pieces will fit.”

“Oh. That makes more sense.”

“We’re not making cinnamon pita.”

Julian tipped his head back and forth. “Doesn’t sound bad, actually.”

“You’re eleven, you’re basically a garbage disposal.”

“I’m basically twelve.”

“Three days.”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.”

Despite the back-and-forth, Julian tucked himself close to Remus’ side while Remus rolled the dough into an even rectangle, and spread the filling across it with intense focus. “Leave a little space on the sides to roll it up,” Remus suggested gently. Julian’s tongue poked out at the corner as he scraped the edge clean and gave a last sweep with the spatula before leaning away.

“Good?”

“Perfect.” Remus loosened the edge closest to him and began to roll it up with steady, methodical hands. “You want to go slow with this part, or else it won’t spiral. And once we get it to the end here, we’re going make sure it’s all nice and even before cutting. Uh, I’m using unflavored dental floss right now because that’s what I have, but you can use string or whatever. If you use a knife, you might squish the inside and get a wonky shape.”

“Dad uses fishing line.”

“Mhmm.” Their concentrated frowns matched while Remus slid the floss beneath the roll and wrapped it around, allowing the floss to slice cleanly through the dough. Julian buried a yawn in Remus’ shoulder and gave a slow, sleepy blink. Once the rolls were cut, they filled the parchment-lined pan to the edges. Remus cracked his knuckles and looked up at the camera. “We’re going to take a quick breakfast break while these double in size, and I’ll put them in the oven at 350 degrees for 15 minutes after that. We’ll see you for the frosting!”

“Your TV voice is weird.”

“Your TV voice is weird,” Remus mimicked, prodding him until Julian hopped off his stool with a laugh. “Go eat your Cheerios.”

The video sped through their break—Remus collected a few items from the fridge and returned to the counter to mix a handful of ingredients into a bowl. The pan steamed, the coffeepot bubbled, and Hattie waited dutifully by his side for her allotted bits of ham, hand-fed alongside a few Cheerios from Julian. The rolls went in and came out without a fuss as Remus finished the scramble and smiled to someone off-screen.

“Frosting,” he announced when the video returned to normal speed. “Super easy. Cream cheese, powdered sugar, vanilla. Mix it up, then add a stick of butter, because this recipe is delicious and also personally clogs your arteries. Jules, touch the rolls for me.”

“Why?”

“To check if they’re cooled down.”

“But they might be hot.”

“Right, which is why I’m making you do it.”

Julian scrunched his nose at him, but gave the rolls a tentative poke. “They’re fine.”

“Sweet.” Remus tugged the pan to the middle of their workspace and scooped a lump of frosting into the center. Overall, it kept its shape as he slathered it to each edge and corner. Julian gave an expectant look; Remus paused, but scraped the last bits off the sides of the bowl and handed the laden spatula to him with an affectionate roll of his eyes. “Don’t tell mom.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jules said around a mouthful of thick sugar.

Remus pushed the rolls toward the camera with a smile that dimpled one cheek. “That’s all for today, folks. Hope you enjoyed making cinnamon rolls with us, or at least enjoyed seeing the real star of the show—”

“Me.”

“—Hattie. Make sure to tune in for our home game in Gryff tomorrow night!"

#remus lupin #julian lupin #hattie #sweater weather #vaincre #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #social media #baking #lion pride #fluff

[the-lost-kemetic]

Winter Solstice Recipes

With the winter solstice fast approaching, I thought I would share some of my favorite recipes to make! Some of them were originally found on websites, but I changed them up to suit my own needs just a bit!

Quick note before we begin: this will most likely be my last post until the New Year, as I will be with family for the most part. I will still reblog and like content, but there will be no original content from me. Thank you for your understanding!

Warm Winter Soup

Ingredients

2 tablespoons of butter or margarine

2 onions, chopped

2 carrots, shredded

1 tomato, diced

2 potatoes, peeled and cubed

3 cups of chicken broth (any broth works)

1 teaspoon of salt and pepper (or to taste)

1 tablespoon of dried parsley

1/2 tablespoon of dried thyme

1/2 tablespoon of dried rosemary

Juice if 1 orange or 1/2 cup of orange juice

2 cups of milk

1 bay leaf

Steps

In a large pot over medium heat, melt the butter or margarine and sauté the onions for 5-10 minutes.

Add the carrots, potatoes, broth, tomatoes, salt, and pepper. Stir well.

Add the orange juice, parsley, thyme, rosemary, and bay leaf.

Reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove the bay leaf.

Purée the soup in a blender or food processor. Alternatively, use a hand blender.

Stir in the milk, mixing well, and season with salt and pepper to taste.

Yuletide Cider

Ingredients

1 gallon apple cider

2 cups lemon juice

½ cup honey

½ cup sugar

2 oranges

1 apple, peeled and diced (honey crisp is recommended, but any is useful!)

2 tablespoons ginger or to tastes

2 tablespoons nutmeg or to taste

2 teaspoons chamomile or to taste

2 cinnamon sticks (optional!)

Steps

Pour in apple cider, lemon juice, honey, and sugar in a large pot on medium heat, while mixing carefully. Stir until the honey and sugar dissolve.

Cut the oranges into slices and put them in the pot.

Add the diced apple.

Add the ginger, nutmeg, and chamomile.

Allow to simmer for about 2-4 hours.

Pour into a cup and add the cinnamon sticks.

Orange Chamomile Pound Cake

Ingredients

1½ cup unsalted butter

6 chamomile tea bags OR 1½ cup of chamomile

8oz cream cheese

2½ cups sugar

1½ teaspoons finely grated orange zest

¼ cup honey

6 large eggs

2 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 teaspoons salt

3 cups cake flower

For the glaze

3oz hot water

1 chamomile tea bag or ¼ cup of chamomile

1¼ cup of confectioner sugar

Pinch of salt

½ tablespoon honey

½ tablespoon freshly squeezed citrus juice (lemon, orange, lime, etc.)

¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

Steps

Place in a heavy bottomed sauce pan over medium heat. Gently melt the butter, and then add the chamomile. Cover with lid, remove from the heat, and let steep for 30 minutes.

Remove lid and set pot over medium heat to gently melt any hardened butter. Once melted, cover with the lid again, remove from the heat, and let steep for another 30 minutes. Squeeze out as much liquid from the tea as possible.

Transfer to an airtight container and let chill in the fridge until solid. Preferably overnight.

Preheat oven to 325°F. Butter and flour a 16 cup angel food cake pan. Tap out any excess flour and set aside.

In the bowl of a standard mixer, beat together butter, cream, sugar, honey, and orange zest at medium speed until light and fluffy. Ensure the mixing is thorough!

Add in eggs one at a time, ensuring each egg is thoroughly incorporated before adding the next. Add orange juice, vanilla extract, and salt. Mix until well blended.

Using a sturdy spatula, fold in cake flour until just combined.

Pour batter into the angel food cake pan. Smooth and level the top over.

Bake for 80-90 minutes, rotating midway through baking, until a toothpick or knife inserted in the middle comes out clean and the top of the cake is golden brown. Allow the cake to cool in the pan for 10-15 minutes.

For the glaze:

Steep chamomile in freshly boiled hot water for 8 minutes. Strain out tea, squeezing as much liquid as possible.

In medium bowl, combine all the glaze ingredients (powdered sugar, salt, honey, citrus juice, vanilla extract, and tea). Stir until smooth. If it ends up being too thick, add more chamomile tea.

Drizzle glaze over cooled pound cake as desired.

Happy Yule everyone!

#kitchen witch #kitchen magic #kitchen witchcraft #paganism #pagan #happy yule

[mcl38]

f1 drivers as thai curry ingredients

charles: the meat. the protagonist. the meat gets the storyline, the character arc, and you choose the type of meat you get - i feel like charles is what you make of him, with him you get to pick your own meal

carlos: honestly i could go for some metaphor but i can't, i have to make the joke, i'm forced to make the joke. i'll be predictable - he's chili. providing excitement despite mostly operating in the background, his career is a slow buildup of spice from yellow to orange to red on the hot scale. does best with gallons of water

max: ginger. i feel like this is obvious. the ginger gives a lot of spice to the curry, and you can say it’s integral to the dish, but once in a while you find a piece of ginger and mistake it for a potato and it’s OH GOD; terrible - you have to learn how to approach max before you can like him. manage your expectations and you start appreciating his presence

checo: potatoes. expecting every race to be good without checo is like expecting a curry to fill you up without carbs. sometimes when the front of the pack is lacklustre you just gotta rely on a sexy checo perez recovery race

lewis: the curry (powder). duh. it’s a strong flavour and some people find it overpowering, as if it dominates the sauce too much, but it literally defines the dish. the goat of curry is curry. what else is there to say

george: ok stay with me on this one but george is rice. why? because the merit and importance of the rice in the narrative of the curry doesn't actually have anything to do with what rice contributes to the taste of the sauce - it's more about the way rice interacts with the curry instead. likewise, george's significance in f1 has little to do with his presence on track (hard to find casual watchers who can name more than 10 results of his in his entire f1 career), but the conversation around him has made him one of f1s big players for years now, a centerpiece of f1 talk

lando: cinnamon! fun, sweet, spicy, you wouldn’t think it fits in a curry but it actually goes so well. it’s not necessarily that important to the story of the curry, and some people don’t really like cinnamon, but i can’t understand them. cinnamon’s great

daniel: onion! savoury, flavourful, slightly abrasive but unique - goes great in basically any curry, always a fun time. bit of a mouthful on its own but the soft flavour of the cooked curry onion is nearly unrecognisable from the taste of the real, raw onion, so despite its attempts to steal the show it actually doesn’t stick out too much

fernando: fish sauce. fish sauce is a controversial flavour - many people don't get along with it, and it definitely has the potential to be overpowering if in too big of a quantity. that said, it's absolutely integral to the very essence of the sauce. it adds enough drama to counteract the sweetness of some of the other ingredients

esteban: long beans, baby. not only because he is tall (obvious joke there), but because the long bean is a bit of a chameleon - also known as the asparagus bean, the pea bean, or snake bean, the way it is perceived varies wildly depending on the context it is placed in. also, by nature, a bean pole conceals and protects its own insides; not only is esteban reserved in his temperament, but often his driving requires a push (a heap of pressure or an impossible task) in order for him to shine

valtteri: the coconut milk. a balancing force. understated, sweet, collaborative. gets shaken up by the people wanting to use him (gotta remember to shake the can otherwise the milk separates), but he still pulls through calm and uniform

guanyu: kale. newcomer and slightly american vibes, but it actually blends in quite seamlessly with the rest of the curry. you don't immediately associate it with this particular dish or, vice versa, associate the dish with it, but nothing about it indicates that it might be an unfiting addition

pierre: bamboo shoots. plain in appearance but with a funky crispness to them, if in the right place at the right time they're the perfect little texture kick to make a race interesting. don't expect it to flavour the curry in a major way, but sometimes u just need to add some white shit (pierre in the AT overalls) from a can (the red bull driver academy) so you can chomp chomp chomp.

yuki: peanuts! small and fun, they pack both flavour and crunch in a peanut-sized punch. an odd choice in some curries but a perfect fit in others, yuki isn't the most consistent but he sure shines bright in his occasional moments of glory

magnussen: kaffir lime leaf. kaffir leaves are inedible so by default you can't expect them to be the bulk of the meal, but they sure can add to the flavour, and when you see a kaffir leaf you just know that curry's done right. you know you're not getting any of this pay driver insipid tasteless bullshit, you're getting good old fashioned proper thai curry f1 racing. bitter and unpredictable if bitten but does its job splendidly when left alone

mick: lemongrass. often confused or conflated with hugely more popular similarly named lemon - if you go into it expecting the taste of lemon then lemongrass will disappoint you, but that's not to say that it has no merits. light and fresh-tasting, lemongrass may not do the heavylifting in the curry but it's just the right condiment to counteract the weight of the other ingredients

seb: bell peppers. a classic. a staple. not the main character of the show but can't imagine a curry without them. available in red and green:)

lance: i’m giving lance cumin for two reasons - one, it’s a spice that doesn’t draw attention to itself and is basically invisible but the curry sauce very much owes its taste to it, very “i do all my talk on track”. but also, i feel like lance would laugh at the word “cumin” so i’m assigning it to him for his own enjoyment

alex: baby corn. full disclosure here i’m being extremely biased because i just love baby corn. baby corn goes off tbh it’s SO good every time i find it in curry and it’s so underrated. too many curries forego it and it’s actually a crime - i don’t want to have to switch to stir fry just to get the baby corn, but for a year i had to, because christian horner decided no baby corn for us:/ fuck you christian

nicholas: palm sugar - sweet and inoffensive. not only is this a very literal choice because i'm convinced nicholas's blood is 50% nutella, but palm sugar usually acts as a buffer (read: backmarker) in curries to balance out the more powerful or stringent taste of the other spices. a little goes a long way, because it absorbs the oils of some of the spicier ingredients and thickens the sauce, but if it's actually noticeable in the curry then that means something's probably gone wrong. likewise, latifi's name tends to appear in the commentators' mouths only in the most insane of races

#f1 #charles leclerc #max verstappen #lewis hamilton #lando norris #daniel ricciardo #formula one #carlos sainz #sergio perez #george russell #esteban ocon #fernando alonso #mick schumacher #kevin magnussen #guanyu zhou #valtteri bottas #alex albon #nicholas latifi #sebastian vettel #lance stroll #yuki tsunoda #pierre gasly #whole grid #drivers as #mine #100

[liahswriting]

Love to Hate You

Relationship(s): Bucky Barnes x Original Female Character (platonic)

Words: 2,480

Warnings: None, but I think it kinda sucks

Summary: She and Bucky can't stand each other. But it's all in good fun.

She was skeptical of the box of treats sitting at her doorway. The basket of baked goods and sweets all neatly tied up with a pretty bow on top had her side eyeing the hallway to catch the culprit who left them there. It had to have been another trick by Bucky. What she couldn't figure out was what the trick is. She liked goodies. Especially free ones. But for them to randomly show up at her door for her to discover in the morning? Nah, something was up.

Carefully, she plucked the card that had been folded into the bow and read it. "Sorry for pushing you too hard -Steve" it had read. This had her scratching her head in confusion. Steve had been a pain in the ass lately. He was always barking orders and yelling at everyone. And she had been his latest target. He gave her a run for her money: had her training absurd hours, forced into filing bullshit paperwork, and even sent her solo on a dangerous mission that should've been assigned to a duo at the very least. When she ran into a deadly roadblock, she asked for permission to abandon the mission. Steve told her to finish it or else. So she did her best and ended up in the hospital afterwards.

That seemed to be the snap back to reality that Steve needed. He began apologizing profusely. Maybe this goodie basket was another attempt at an apology from him. Plus, the muffins did look good. She picked up the basket and brought it inside her room. They tempted her. She grabbed a random one and took a big bite. Walnuts were the first thing she tasted. Then a bit of cinnamon crumble. They were delicious.

And then, like a car crash, she was hit with nothing but the feeling of pain. A bonfire started on her tongue and her lips almost instantly went numb. She dropped the muffin and ran towards her bathroom, shoving water down her throat in hopes of quenching the burn that ate away at her flesh. Tears began to blur her eyesight and the blurred face she saw in the mirror was red as a tomato.

"Oh my god!" she cried out, scraping her tongue with toilet paper. "What the fuck! Oh my god!"

Snot dripped down her chin as she desperately clung to the bathroom counter. If it wasn't there for her to grab, she would've fallen to the ground. She might still buckle if she was honest. She threw more water on her face and into her mouth. It did absolutely nothing to help. She needed milk. Or cream. Or butter. Honestly, anything that had lactose.

She made a mad dash for the kitchen, pushing anyone who got in her way. Poor Nat had been shoved into the wall.

"What bit you in the ass?" Nat question, running after her.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" was all she could respond with, her tongue sticking out in the air as she ran. She hoped the air would cool her mouth down. It didn't.

She pushed Bucky as he stood from his seat and belly flopped into the fridge. She scrambled to pull it open, knocking over drinks and tupperware as she searched for the milk. Once in her hands, she ripped the cap off and downed the milk like it was a shot. She felt the milk soak the front of her shirt, although she couldn't give two shits about it.

"Save some milk for the rest of us." Nat laughed oddly at her.

"Shut up!!" she sputtered back, milk flying everywhere. "Oh my fucking god!"

"What's wrong?"

"Hot!"

"What is?"

"Food!"

"What food?"

"AHHHHHHH!" she yelled out.

She had drank probably half the gallon at this point, and the pain hadn't subsided one bit. If anything, it had made it's way down her esophagus and into her stomach. She felt like she could throw up, but if she did she was sure she'd throw up blood.

"I'm dying! I'm fucking dying!" she claimed.

"You're not dying." Nat rolled her eyes.

"I need ice cream!"

"Why?! What is happening?!" Nat begged for answers. If she could give an answer, she would. But all she felt was pain. All she could respond with was pain. Meanwhile, Bucky was snickering on the other side of the kitchen. Bastard. Leave it to Bucky to be of no help whatsoever.

"Get Steve!" she demanded. She needed to knock his head in. Was he fucking trying to poison her?

"Captain Rogers has been informed of your request." came JARVIS's automated voice. "He is heading towards you now."

She sat on the floor, the pain draining the strength from her legs. She took the milk with her, trying to force as much of it down her throat as she could. Her stomach felt like it was melting from the inside out. She began asking herself if it was possible to die from pain alone. She felt like she was dying. A hole had to have burned through her stomach. It had to. Stomach acid was leaking into her abdomen. That had to have been why the pain wasn't going down.

Steve showed up then. If she had the strength to, she would've smacked him. But she didn't. She just stayed on the ground, chugging the milk.

"What's wrong with you?" Steve quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Are you trying to poison me?!" she screamed in between milk chugs.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Muffins! Hot! Dying!"

"What muffins?"

"Outside my door! Apology from you! Oh my god why does it still hurt?!?"

"I didn't put any muffins outside your door!"

"What?!"

This information was a surprise to her. The card...... it was signed by him. Who else would've........

"Bucky!" she garbled out, milk sputtering everywhere.

The bastard only proceeded to laugh harder, pointing at her in distress on the floor.

"Buck." Steve sighed. "What did you do?"

"I just made her some muffins."

"What did you put in the muffins?" the blond rolled his eyes.

"Just some love." he shrugged innocently. "And a few pieces of carolina reaper peppers."

"Carolina reaper?!" Nat exclaimed. "Are you crazy?! People have been hospitalized from eating that!"

"But nobody has died have they?" he smugly retorted.

"I need ice cream!"

"We don't have any." said Nat sympathetically.

"I'm dying! It hurts!"

"It'll hurt a lot more in like an hour." she then said.

"I'll go get the Pepto Bismol." Steve huffed. He turned to his super soldier friend as he walked away. "Go out and buy her some ice cream."

"Alright alright." he rolled his eyes.

Nat was right about the pain an hour later. As she curled up in the fetal position on her bedroom floor, a half empty bottle of Pepto Bismol on one side of her, a melted tub of ice cream on the other side, she almost wished that she could time travel back an hour ago. The initial pain she felt was just a burning sensation. Now, her entire stomach and both intestines were gurgling and felt all twisted up inside of her. Her abdomen hadn't stopped cramping, and her toilet was in misery. Poor toilet bowl. And poor her butthole. The pepper hurt coming out more than it did going in.

She was going to get back at Bucky if it was the last thing she ever did. She might murder him.

Bucky expected her to get her revenge. It was how their dynamic worked; he'd prank her, she'd prank him back, then they'll go a few weeks without any incidences, only to start back up again when they started noticing the other getting a little too comfortable.

Every time he turned a corner, he was cautious. Any food that was to go past his lips he tested first. If he entered a room she had recently been in, he made sure there were no booby traps waiting for him. Days of this went by and he hadn't once let his guard down. She was going to strike. He knew it. He could feel it in his aching bones.

"Hey, Buck!" Steve called out to him from the hallway.

"Hm?" he hummed back.

"Your clothes are done drying." his friend said and brought him his laundry basket.

"Thanks for touching my underwear, punk." he chuckled.

"I didn't. I used tongs." joked Steve.

"Fucking idiot." Bucky huffed amusingly.

He took his laundry from his friend and headed to his room to put them away. Bucky didn't like folding his clothes. The task was too time consuming and it didn't make sense to fold them when you were just going to pull them out anyway. His tried and true method was to take all of the same clothing articles and just shove them in the drawer. His arms were piled high with all of his shirts, which he put away. Then he stacked all of his pants in his arms and put those away. He did fold his socks though. He never wore mix-matched socks. He then put all of his socks and underwear away.

He then decided to go for a run now that all of his jogging clothes were clean. And this is why he hates going through the hassle of folding. He just pulled out the clothes anyway. Whatever. He tied his laces, grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen, and headed out the door. He took his usual route through the outskirts of the city as he listened to his playlist through his headphones. It was nice outside, but that didn't mean he was in the mood to be bombarded by angry New Yorkers on their lunch break, or get hit by shitty taxi drivers.

There was a running trail on the outskirts that he sometimes went on. He decided to run the trail today. The fresh air was good for his lungs. Although it must be close to pollen season because his skin began to itch. He scratched at his thigh as he ran. It helped at first, but then the itch came back stronger. He stopped running and used his blunt nails to scratch at his skin until red marks raised against the flesh. And then his stomach began to itch. As he scratched that, the itch seemed to travel all around his body and he nearly fell to the ground in an itching fit.

His nails were scraping every square inch of skin they could to alleviate the sensation. His legs, his arm, his chest, his back, his neck. Everything itched. And by everything he meant....... oh no.

His knees buckled as he felt his cock and balls twist with itches. Instinctively, his thighs crossed over one another to try and scratch it, but it did absolutely nothing. If he wasn't in public, he'd shove his fist down his shorts and scratch to the high heavens. He needed to get out of here. Now. Something wasn't right.

Walking was a chore, let alone running. People he passed probably thought he was possessed as he rushed past them spastically. He looked like he had ants in his pants. Fuck if he knows if there actually were. His skin crawled. Was this some sort of allergic reaction?

Once at the tower, he ran into Steve and Nat who gave him odd looks.

"You doing okay, Buck?" Steve cocked an eyebrow at him.

"No! I think I have an allergic reaction to something." he replied back, trying once again to discretely scratch at his crotch. His metal arm simultaneously scratching up and down his flesh one.

"What's wrong?" questioned Nat.

"Something's makin me itch."

"You sure you didn't run through some poison ivy or something while running?" asked Steve.

"I didn't touch anything!"

And then Bucky spotted her sauntering into the room. She stopped in her tracks at seeing Bucky do what looked like the potty dance to her. And then she began to snicker loudly.

"Looks like you're having a bad day." she snorted at him.

"I don't know what's happening."

"Seems like something's...... itching you." she said cryptically. Bucky immediately became suspicious of her.

"What did you do?!" he demanded. If he wasn't so busy scratching himself, he would've taken her by the collar of her shirt.

"I just helped you with your laundry. I thought it could use a little more....... spice." she shrugged.

"What did you do?" Steve sighed.

"I thought this itching powder was a gag gift. Didn't think it'd actually work." she replied, pulling a sachet of something out of her back pocket. Bucky say the colorful bubble lettering clear as day: 'Ultimate Itching Powder'.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!" Bucky huffed out angrily.

"Go ahead, big boy. I'd like to see you try."

Steve snatched the itching powder sachet from her hand, his eyes skimming over the fine print for a solution.

"Okay, it's only rose hips." said Steve calmly.

"What does that mean?" asked Nat.

"He just needs to take a shower to wash it off. Maybe put on some lotion and he should be good."

"That is if he can even make it to the shower." she laughed.

"Bite me!" Bucky hissed.

"Only if you ask nicely, sweetheart." she batted her eyelashes at him.

Bucky huffed at her and pushed past her towards his room. He swore to her that he'd get her back once he was done. His threat when nowhere with her. She only laughed again and patronized him some more.

"Why can't you two just be nice to each other?" Steve asked her once Bucky was gone from sight.

"Because this is more fun." she said like it was obvious. "Besides, he deserved it for ruining my insides with those pepper muffins."

"So will you two kiss and make up now?"

"Gross! No way! I'd rather take the muffins." she said which made Nat giggle like a little girl.

"Better watch out before he puts something even worse in your food." the redhead teased.

"Which just means I gotta plan my revenge now. If you'll excuse me-" she reached for the sachet still in Steve's hands. He snatched it out of her reach and scolded her.

"No." was all he said. She didn't fight him.

"Okay." she shrugged, and then walked away.

"I have a really bad feeling about this." Steve muttered.

"Twenty bucks says they end up hate-fucking by the end of the month." challenged Nat. Steve rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving Nat standing in the middle of the room dumbfounded.

#marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #original female character #ofc #fanfiction #oneshot #imagine

[sofiadragon]

Fat Mom Stress Bake

Set a 1/2 cup stick of unsalted butter on the countertop. Have a cup of a comforting beverage while it reaches room temperature. 🍵 🍷 Gather the usual suspects to make a cake. If you use the vastly superior metric system you can use this time to figure out the proportions. It takes you lot so much less time to convert liters to milliliters than it does me to go from gallons to tablespoons that I'm sure you have the time to plug the measurements into an online calculator. Preheat the oven to 350° F - AKA Medium heat.

Cream together the softened butter and 1 cup golden sugar until smooth. Golden sugar doesn't have all the natural molasses processed out, so it tastes just that little bit richer than white sugar. You deserve gold today.

Add one whole egg and two egg whites. Treat the extra yolks like your childhood dreams: keep them safe in the fridge for another day or toss them directly in the garbage. Try to feel good about your choice. If you fail at that don't worry, there will soon be cake to plug the hole inside you.

Add 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste and 1 teaspoon pumpkin spice to the mixing bowl. "Pumpkin spice" is really a blend of spices that used to be called "Sweet Spice" and has been used in all kinds of baked goods since well before Europeans ever saw a pumpkin. It is popular because it is objectively good. If you don't have a home-made blend or a store-bought 10 pound drum of pumpkin spice ready to go like a sane person then just use cinnamon with a dash of ginger and nutmeg, but know that this is the sadder path because cloves have a numbing effect and that is what your soul needs if you are baking this recipe.

Add 1/2 cup whole milk. You can go plant based if you like, but for lactose intolerance you can either get filtered milk or drop a tablet of lactaid into a pint carton the day before. No 2% nonsense - whole milk has less sugar and more fat per volume and this cake has plenty of sugar in it.

Add 16 drops red food coloring, 4 drops blue food coloring, and two drops yellow food coloring from the McCormick droppers that look like Gnome hats. 🔺️ You know the ones. We're going for a dusty rose color.

Beat that bitch. Imagine someone's face. Work out some anger. Work up a sweat or revel in the whirring of your stand mixer. You are an agent of creation or destruction as you see fit.

Get 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1 and 1/8 teaspoon baking powder and 1 and 1/2 cup flour ready in a seperate bowl. Add slowly. You want the batter to be floofy and we're developing a little bit of gluten. We're also developing as a person every day in a thousand ways big and small. You're more than the sum of your parts and so is this cake.

Below is a picture of two 8" round cake pans. They are sprayed lightly with oil and have a round bit of parchment on the bottom. You can't see that because the floofy batter is in there too. Nobody can see all of what you have inside either.

Put them in the oven and fuck off for about 25 minutes. The average person takes a little more than seven minutes to fuck off, but today is special. Take your time and fuck all the way off.

When the timer goes off stab it with a stick. If the stick is clean take the cake out of the oven. If it isn't make a cup of tea and try again. If it isn't ready after half an hour in the oven then either something is wrong with your oven's thermostat or instead of fucking off after it was in the oven you fucked up before you put it in. Adjust your expectations accordingly: you are now making cake pops instead of cake. I can not follow you where you go, but I respect the path you are on. God speed, and may your chocolate always temper correctly.

For the love of all that is holy: DO NOT PUT FROSTING ON HOT CAKE. 99% of those epic fail memes are people who tried to decorate a hot cake. Just go to bed. Take a nice long nap or read a bit. If you are in a rush you will only destroy all your good work. Be kind to yourself by pacing yourself.

You won't get a picture of my cake decorated because I'm typing this while it is still hot. It's spice cake so you can put whatever the hell you like on top. My favorite is whipped cream stabilized with marscapone, but that's pricy and I don't always have it. Instant pudding is always in my cabinet, works just as well if not better at stabilizing whipped cream icing, is cheaper, and comes in tons of flavors. White chocolate or vanilla work well, but you do what feels right in your heart.

Sometimes, I drizzle honey on it and have it with some sliced fruit or ice cream. You can pour whiskey on it like it's a fruit cake or soak it in espresso. It's sweet spiced cake: it just tastes good. You can't really mess this part up. Well, aside from the whole "put the toppings on while it is still warm" thing. Exercise some patience with yourself, you deserve to take time for you, and if you wants to put sliced banana and Nutella on the cake then you can do it when it is fully cooled.

A crumb coat, a night in the freezer, and then a glossy mirror glaze or tempered chocolate shell turns this from a self care cake into a cake that says "fuck your onion-filled tuna salad, I've got the best thing at this [potluck, church event, BBQ, assorted homemaker pissing contest.]" It also works on your ex's new sidepiece snooping your social media. You can ask me how I know, but you can already guess.

Oh, one last step:

Eat it. Eat all your feelings and be free.

Swallow it down, digest what is good and valid, and shit out whatever isn't useful enough for your body to absorb. Feel good and don't apologize.

#stress baking #dessert cakes #self care #I'm allergic to onions Karen #it isn't a personal insult if I don't eat your unseasoned salad

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Dick reached as high as his eleven year old legs could take him, towards a set of pots in the cabinet. It wasn’t enough, but Bruce stepped over to help him, setting the pots down on the kitchen island.

“Okay,” Bruce said. “Review the rules for me again?”

“Alfred gives us three ingredients,” Dick explained, “and we have to make something that has all three in it.”

“How much time do I get?”

“Thirty minutes.”

“And I have to present it, right?”

“Yeah. Alfred’s the judge.”

“And then?”

“He puts the dish that loses under a cover, and we wait for a dramatic reveal.”

“Oh, drama. Good.”

Dick gave Bruce a look. “I’m gonna be the announcer.”

“I thought you were doing it with me?”

“I’ll be a contestant too.”

“Is that going to work?”

“Oh yeah,” said Dick, smiling brightly. “It’ll be great. Ready to start?”

“I guess.”

Dick ran to the other side of the kitchen, flipped off the light switch, did a quick twirl, and flipped it back on. He slid into the middle of the kitchen on his sock feet. 

“Good evening!” he said, in his best commentator voice. “And welcome back to Chopped at the Wayne Tower penthouse. I’m your host, Dick Grayson, and today I’ll be competing against Mr. Bruce Wayne!”

Dick struck a confident pose, motioning for Bruce to do the same. Bruce half-laughed and stepped forward into what Dick recognized as his Batman-overlooking-the-city stance. 

The image cracked Dick’s persona, and he laughed so hard he had to bend over and breathe for a few seconds. He got back to business. 

“Let me introduce you to our judge, the honorable Alfred Pennyworth! Let’s give him a round of applause, folks!”

Alfred gave a solemn nod from his place at the dining room table. Dick ducked to the other side of the island, clapping his hands loudly to simulate a fake audience. Bruce joined in.

“Contestants, grab your baskets!” Dick pulled his own cloth covered basket, the one Alfred prepared for him, from the island counter. It had some heft to it. He wondered what was inside. 

“Let’s take a look! Mr. Wayne?”

Bruce flipped open the matching basket on his counter and lifted out a glass jar. “Cherries,” he said, holding them up. 

“And?”

“Chocolate chips.”

“And last?”

“Uh.” Bruce examined another jar, this one plastic, and set it back down. “Cinnamon peanut butter.”

“Hm,” said Dick. “Interesting. A dessert round.”

“Oh yes,” Alfred confirmed. 

“Do you have the stop-watch?”

“I do, Master Richard.”

“Okay then— on your mark, get set… go!”

Dick ran towards the pantry, but Bruce stepped in front of him, blocking the way. 

“Hey!” Dick complained. 

“Sabotage,” said Bruce, grinning, before he let Dick pass. 

Dick pulled the bag of pancake mix from a shelf and scooted sideways, holding it behind his back so Bruce couldn’t see. Unnecessary, he realized, since he was going to announce his choice anyway. 

“Dick Grayson takes an early lead in speed! He has selected a bag of breakfast mix! Mr. Grayson, what do you plan to make?”

“Waffles!” said Dick, answering his own question. He slid over to the fridge and pulled out a gallon of milk and a container of heavy whipping cream. “I’ll be making chocolate chip waffles using the cherry juice for color and flavor, with the fruits themselves on top.”

“What about the peanut butter?” asked Bruce. 

“Flavor for whipped cream.”

“Oh. That’s clever.”

“No copy-cats. That’s cheating.”

“Right.” 

“What about you, Mr. Wayne? Ideas?” Dick pushed himself off the island and held a spatula up at Bruce’s face like a microphone.

Bruce held up a packet of something. 

“Ah!” Dick nodded in approval. “Can you tell us— why Jell-O?”

“It has instructions on the box.”

“You make good points.”

“I’m using the Speed-Set method. It’s highly technical.”

“I’m sure it is.” 

“But I’m still not positive it’s going to set in time.”

“I guess we’ll see?” said Dick. “It’s a good idea anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“Alfred will taste this jello, and you will taste defeat.”

“Okay.”

Dick ran back to his island with a mixing bowl stolen from Bruce’s side of the kitchen. 

“Hey!” Bruce complained. 

“Sabotage,” said Dick, grinning. 

Dick stirred his milk into the waffle mix, then dumped in a generous pour of cherry juice. The mixture turned a delightful shade of bright pink. Dick left it for a few moments to slide back to Bruce’s side of the room. He overshot slightly and collided softly with the counter. 

“Whoops. Mr. Wayne, how does it go at station number two?”

“Well,” said Bruce. “I’m using the cherries in this jello, but I don’t really know what to do with the other two ingredients.”

“Thought process?”

“None.”

“Oh, sure.”

“I bet chocolate and peanut butter go together,” Bruce mused. 

“Yeah.”

“But in what?”

“I dunno.” Dick stepped back into the kitchen center. “Time?” he yelled.

“Eighteen minutes left,” said Alfred. 

Bruce hurriedly shoved a few glasses of red jello into the freezer. Dick returned to his station to pour his chocolate chips into his mixture. 

He pulled the waffle iron from the cabinet under the counter, sprayed it with the bottle of no-stick, plugged it in, and waited for it to heat up. While he did, he wandered over to Alfred’s table with his spatula. He held it out to Alfred. 

“Judge Pennyworth, your impressions?”

“I believe this will be interesting if nothing else.”

“Are you hungry?”

“I have not decided at this point.”

Dick nodded. “Time?”

“Fourteen minutes.”

“Oh, I better get back.”

Waffle iron ready, Dick gave his pink mixture a final stir and poured it in. He did spill some over the side of the bowl, and the counter, and the iron, but that was okay by him. The waffle iron steamed cheerily. 

Dick rummaged through the drawers for a whisk. He added vanilla and powdered sugar to his cream, then scooped in a few spoonfuls of peanut butter, then began to whisk as quickly as possible.

While he did, he went to investigate the other side of the kitchen. 

“Mr. Wayne! Have you formed a plan?”

“I think I’m going to make hot chocolate. With peanut butter.”

“And jello?”

“Served with jello.”

“That doesn’t really… go together.”

“I’m aware. It’ll have to do.”

“Okay, I guess. I gotta flip my waffle.”

Bruce nodded. Dick spun around a few times, just because, and flipped his waffle. He returned to his whisk. 

“Time?” Bruce called.

“Eight minutes.”

“Thanks.” When Dick looked over, Bruce had the milk. Bruce poured it into a mug, studied it for a few moments, and stuck it in the microwave. He hesitated again before punching in a number.

One minute. Dick shrugged. He didn’t know how long to put it in either. Alfred always made the hot chocolate at home, and before that, Dick’s dad. Bruce’s guess was as good as his. 

The microwave hummed as Dick’s whipped cream began to peak. He hummed along with the microwave in satisfaction. 

“Six minutes,” said Alfred. 

Dick’s waffle came out just fine, if not as pretty as he wanted. The chocolate chips that landed on the outside of the waffle marred the color a little bit, but the rest was suitably bright, and Dick liked it.

He set the waffle on a plate, stuck a few cherries on top, and slid to Bruce’s side again. Wait until the last moment to put on the whipped cream, he figured. That way it wouldn’t wilt. 

“Mr. Wayne appears to be stirring in chocolate chips and peanut butter,” Dick narrated. “Any comments, Mr. Wayne?”

“I hope my jello set.”

“I do too. Are you going to pull it out now?”

“I suppose.” Bruce stepped over to the freezer and removed his glasses. The red at the bottom of the glasses jiggled a little bit over the cherries settled at the bottom.

“Hm,” said Bruce. 

“I think it set.”

“Maybe.”

“One minute,” said Alfred. 

Dick heaped on a dollop of peanut butter whipped cream and set his plate on the table in front of Alfred. Bruce followed with a glass of jello and a gently steaming mug of hot chocolate. 

“Time,” said Alfred.

“Folks, it’s time for Judge Pennyworth to make his comments. Judge Pennyworth?”

“I comment,” said Alfred, “that this is surprisingly competent on Mr. Wayne’s part.”

Bruce took a bow. 

“We’ll start with Mr. Grayson’s dish. It’s a lovely color.”

“Thank you,” Dick said, smiling. 

“And for taste…” Alfred scooped off a section of whipped cream and nodded thoughtfully. “This is very nice. Let us taste the waffle.”

Dick beckoned Alfred onward. 

“This also is very nice,” Alfred decided. “Well done, Master Richard. We will now move to Mr. Wayne’s dish. Hm. Jello does not go with hot chocolate.”

“I know,” Bruce groaned. 

“But the fine glass goblets are a nice touch.”

“Thank you.”

“Your jello does appear to be set.”

“Thank God.”

“And this hot chocolate is ah,” Alfred took a sip, “a little flavorless, actually. I might suggest more chocolate next time.”

“Hm,” said Bruce. “I will take that into account every other time I do this.”

“Your sarcasm is unappreciated. If you could both leave the room?”

“Okay!” Dick grabbed Bruce’s arm and pulled him out through the living room and into the hallway that led to the bedrooms. 

“Was it fun?” Dick asked. 

“Sure.”

“You don’t sound excited.”

“As long as you’re having fun, I’m having fun.”

“I am ready,” said Alfred’s voice.

They hurried back into the dining room, where Alfred sat at his table with a large, covered platter in front of him. 

“Yes!” Dick exclaimed. He hopped in front of the table with his spatula. 

“Before we show a winner, let’s talk about our experience. Mr. Wayne! You put on a great show today. Why did you join this contest?”

“Oh thank you, I was forced to be here.”

“Forced by your love of cooking?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you proud of your dish?”

“I am, actually. That’s the best I’ve done in years.”

“I can confirm,” said Alfred. 

“You’re in fine form today,” said Bruce. 

“Okay!” said Dick. “Whose dish… is on the chopping block? Judge Pennyworth?”

Alfred lifted his cover to reveal a goblet of jello and a mug of hot chocolate.

“It was a hard decision, but alas, one I had to make.”

Dick grinned. 

“Bruce Wayne! Gotham nobility, the guillotine has come.”

“Dark,” said Bruce. 

“You have been chopped.”

“Okay.” 

“I receive honor and glory as my prize.”

“You receive clean-up duty,” said Alfred. “Both of you.”

#mine #fanfiction #did you know chopped has been running since 2009? #my siblings used to play chopped on vacation #I always picked the ingredients #it was a lot of fun #anyway I couldn't sleep tonight so #bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth

[bleedinghearthalstead]

SWAT!Jay / Upstead AU

A/N: Part 11. Post Bruised Ego. Crossposted on AO3, link on my blog.

They've come to realize that they're missing a lot of kitchen essentials and unless Jay is willing to dive into the tinned cans tucked into the back of one the cabinets, they are definitely in need of a grocery run.

It's been a while since they've been grocery shopping together. Since they're both barely home, their fridge rather resembles one of a bachelor than of a married couple, mostly empty except for condiments and random take-out containers and that old bottle of milk that probably went bad last week. But now that Jay is home with a broken hand, they've come to realize that they're missing a lot of kitchen essentials and unless Jay is willing to dive into the tinned cans tucked into the back of one the cabinets, they are definitely in need of a grocery run.

When Jay suggests that they go to Costco, Hailey raises an eyebrow at him. Jay is usually the get in, get what you need and get out type of shopper, so it really is a testament to how bored he is at home and it's only been a week. She doesn’t want to know what else he’s going to come up with in the next five. Hailey quickly makes a list of what they need – wow, they're apparently out of salt – and they're off to what she knows is going to be a much longer shopping trip than she had planned for.

They've barely stepped foot in the warehouse and Jay has already wandered off towards the electronics on sale, leaving Hailey with their cart. She thinks about calling after her husband, but she just rolls her eyes at him and keeps walking towards the food section in the back. He better not be looking at that 70 inch TV that he was talking about with Will the other night. Hailey methodically goes down every aisle – if they're here already, she might as well make the most of it and find some of those hidden sale items. She remembers going shopping with her mother, one of the few things she and her mother did together – just the two of them since her brothers hated it – and they’d make a fun game out of it, doing a treasure hunt for those elusive limited offers. She’d run ahead of her mother, ducking and jumping, running back and forth the aisles, trying to glimpse the highlighted price signs. Both of them would rejoice every time Hailey found a treasure. She marvels at how fondly she looks back at such a mundane thing as buying groceries.

Half an hour later Hailey finds Jay in the cereal aisle, one-handedly pushing his own cart, already filled with all kinds of things. "Jay!" She walks over to him, her eyes widening at what is in his cart. "What in the world…"

"Oh hey, babe." Jay gives her a blinding smile and throws two large boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch into his cart.

She rummages through the items he’s gotten so far and they definitely do not need 1,875 q-tips or 200 trash bags or that tub of 115 dishwasher detergent pacs. And is that a 2 pound tin of peanuts? She spots something blue and silver at the bottom of the cart and she scrunches up her nose in disgust. "Oh God, is that a 24-pack of Red Bull?!"

"Leave it," he laughs and slaps his wife’s hands away.

She sees that he’s also already been to the meat section and got two whole chickens, four racks of ribs and what looks like ten pounds of ground beef. "Who’s gonna eat all of that?"

Jay shrugs and scratches the back of his head. "I thought I’d invite the guys over for a barbeque." And now she knows how bored Jay really is, if he’s willing to cater for eight guys who eat like they’re bottomless pits, with a broken hand no less. Hailey sighs, knowing that this is going to happen whether she wants it or not.

"Alright," she huffs and looks through the rest of his cart – there's burger buns, but there's nary a vegetable in sight, and no, she’s not gonna count the massive glass of pickles. "How about some sides and some other drinks?"

Jay’s brilliant smile is back and he leans down to peck her on the lips. "You’re the best."

In the hopes of speeding things up, Hailey types out a list on her phone and Jay’s phone pings a few seconds later. "You get those things and I’ll get the rest. Meet at checkout in twenty?"

He looks at the items she sent him and nods, checking his watch. "Copy that."

"Oh," Hailey stops him with a grin, "and can you get me some tampons when you get the toilet paper?"

"Orange or green?" Jay sticks out his tongue at her. He knows she tries to catch him off-guard sometimes, but honestly, it's not the first time he got her tampons and it's not like he minds.

She winks at him. "Yellow."

"Yes, ma'am." He'll get her some tampons, she'll see.

On her round to get the last few things on her own list (a.k.a. the things that they were actually planning to buy before they got here), she catches Jay stuffing his face with food samples four times, and every time he waves and yells at her to try this or that with his mouth full. And every time she pushes her cart quickly down the next aisle, shaking her head at his antics.

After she gets everything they needed, she gives him the full twenty minutes and another ten afterwards just browsing through the store before she goes to checkout, but her husband is nowhere to be seen. Hailey tries calling him, but it just keeps ringing until it goes to voicemail. Sighing, she guesses that Jay got lost somewhere in the cheese section, looking for the feta cheese that she put on his list. Waiting for another five minutes, Hailey decides to pay and get a sundae from the food court while she waits for him.

"Babe, over here!" She hears his voice as soon as she’s past the cash registers, surprised that he beat her to the food court. He’s holding a half-eaten hot dog in his right hand and balancing another one on his cast, a soda cup tucked into the crook of his elbow. Jay looks like a food spill waiting to happen, so Hailey hurries towards him, saving the hot dog that is precariously perched on his arm.

The toppings are piled high and there’s extra sauerkraut, just the way she likes it. She smiles up at Jay and thumbs away a drop of ketchup from the corner of his mouth before she stands up on her tiptoes and gives him a quick kiss. "Thanks, babe."

He raises an eyebrow at her when she takes her first bite. "Who said that one’s for you?"

His wife giggles and retorts with a raised eyebrow of her own. "Let’s see you try and take this away from me."

"Oh no," Jay laughs, "I'm only gonna make that mistake once." He finishes the rest of his hot dog in one bite – his cheeks comically bulging as he chews – and washes it down with a couple of big gulps of soda. He takes Hailey’s cart and leads her to where he left his while she eats her hot dog.

"Hey, Raymond," he walks up to an employee, "all good?"

"Yeah, man, your carts are over there." The guy points at two carts (he did say carts, as in plural, Hailey thinks) that are pushed against the wall next to him.

"Thanks, buddy." Jay fistbumps the guy and pushes Hailey’s cart over to the others.

Hailey almost chokes on the bite of hot dog in her mouth. The last time she saw him half an hour ago, he had one cart that was already ridiculously full and he walked out with two? She doesn’t even know how Jay did it. It’s hard enough to push two carts by yourself, but he can’t even hold on to the other one properly with his cast? And how did he even get the stuff in the cart? She forces herself to swallow down the bite and blurts out, "What the fuck?"

A woman with two little kids walking by glares at Hailey and Jay snorts loudly. She doesn’t even notice, still staring at Jay’s two overflowing carts. One of them is definitely the one that she saw him with, only now thirty rolls of toilet paper and about 300 tampons stacked on top. The second one is loaded with three 24-pack trays of beer, three big bottles of bourbon, a six pack of Coke bottles and a gallon of orange juice. And it’s all piled on top of a…

"Is that a mini fridge?!" Hailey's voice goes up an octave. She turns to Jay who looks at her like the cat that ate the canary, big grin and all. Jay bought a mini fridge. Hailey pinches the bridge of her nose, but can't help the laugh that escapes her. She knew one of them was going to buy something they didn't need, but this definitely beats the yoga pants and sports bra that she treated herself to.

"It's actually a stainless steel cooler on wheels," Jay explains proudly. "It's got its own bottle opener and cap catcher."

Laughing out loud, she hands her half-eaten hot dog to Jay who gladly takes it and continues to wolf it down. She pats his good arm. "Honey, you get all of that stuff in the car, I don't care how."

"And what are you gonna do?"

"I’m getting a sundae," she announces and walks off. Behind her she hears Jay roping that poor guy Raymond into helping him with the carts. Then she hears him call after her. "Babe! Get me a strawberry sundae too!" She shakes her head with a smile and gets in line.

#upstead #jay halstead #hailey upton #chicago pd #pure fluff and humor #upstead doing mundane things #bhhfic #swat!jay au

[fireturtlepagan]

The gods and their (mostly) coffee/ chocolate-y beverage/ tea orders

Also what they are god off cause ~learning~

<tried to give each a unique order but there likely will be repeats> <<also these are based on nothing in particular>>

Achelois doesn’t like hot beverages or chocolate would like ice water with lemon though

A minor moon goddess whose name means “she who washes away pain”.

Alectrona any coffee is good coffee

An early Greek goddess of the sun, daughter of Helios and Rhode, and possibly goddess of the morning.

Amphitrite s’mores Frappuccino

Greek goddess of the sea, wife of Poseidon and a Nereid.

Antheia tea, just the tea, nothing in it

Goddess of gardens, flowers, swamps, and marshes.

Apate Extra chocolate milkshake

Goddess of gardens, flowers, swamps, and marshes.

Aphrodite a tall beverage. Doesn’t care what’s in it just likes the small cups. Drinks like 5 at a time.

Goddess of love and beauty and married to Hephaestus.

Artemis mocha

Virginal goddess of the hunt and twin sister of Apollo.

Até “this is bean juice” (black coffee)

Greek goddess of mischief, delusion, ruin, and folly.

Athena don’t care give me the caffeine (loves iced coffee most)

Goddess of wisdom, poetry, art, and war strategy. Daughter of Zeus and born from his forehead fully grown, wearing battle armour.

Bia doesn’t like coffee likes frozen hot chocolate or just chocolate milk is just milk an option cause if it is just milk

The goddess of force and raw energy, daughter of Pallas and Styx, and sister of Nike, Kratos, and Zelus.

Brizo Irish coffee

Ancient Greek prophet goddess who was known as the protector of mariners, sailors, and fishermen.

Circe “coffee as dark as my hatred for men”

A goddess of magic who transformed her enemies, or those that insulted her, into beasts.

Cybele southern sweet tea

The Greek goddess of caverns, mountains, nature and wild animals.

Demeter doesn’t like coffee much but will drink it on occasion prefers iced tea

Goddess of agriculture, fertility, sacred law and the harvest.

Eileithyia Caramel Frappuccino

Goddess of childbirth, referred to by Homer as “the goddess of the pains of birth”.

Elpis peppermint mocha

The spirit and personification of hope. Hope was usually seen as an extension to suffering by the Greek, not as a god.

Enyo that chocolate that’s like a shot of espresso or whatever

Minor goddess of war and destruction, the companion and lover of the war god Ares and connected to Eris.

Eos yes to all

A Titaness and the goddess of the dawn.

Eris Red Bull

Greek goddess of chaos, strife and discord and connected to the war-goddess Enyo.

Gaia homemade hot coco, your grandmothers recipe, the one passed down by the generations full of love and memories

The primal Greek goddess of the Earth. Known as the great mother of all and often referred to as “Mother Earth”.

Harmonia espresso au lait

The Greek goddess of harmony and concord.

Hebe hot chocolate-y milk

Goddess of eternal youth.

Hecate coffee with sugar

The goddess of magic, crossroads, moon, ghosts, witchcraft and necromancy (the undead).

Hemera chai latte

Primordial goddess of the day, daytime and daylight. Daughter to Erebus and Nyx (the goddess of night).

Hera just needs caffeine please (1 creamer 2 sugars)

Goddess of goddesses, women, and marriage. Married to Zeus and known as Queen of the Gods.

Hestia hot chocolate with either cinnamon stick or a peppermint stick

goddess of the hearth, home, architecture, domesticity, family, and the state. Also one of the Hesperides.

Hygea loose leaf tea, preferably locally grown

Goddess of good health, cleanliness, and sanitation. This is where the word “hygiene” comes from.

Iris iced matcha latte

Greek goddess of the rainbow and messenger of the gods. She is also known as one of the goddesses of the sea and the sky.

Mania likes watching milk mix into the coffee but not drinking it

Spirit goddess of insanity, madness, crazed frenzy and the dead.

Nemesis stealing it from Dionysus

The goddess of retribution and personification of vengeance.

Nike just a little milk in either

Goddess of victory, known as the Winged Goddess of Victory.

Nyx milk and honey

Primordial goddess of the night.

Peitho cinnamon hot chocolate

Greek goddess of persuasion and seduction.

Persephone iced white mocha with raspberry or strawberry

Goddess of vegetation and spring and queen of the underworld. Lives off-season in the underworld as the wife of Hades.

Pheme a latte

The goddess of fame, gossip and renown. Her favour is notability, and her wrath is scandalous rumors.

Rhea steamed milk with vanilla or hazelnut

Titaness and goddess of nature. Daughter of the earth goddess Gaia and the sky god Uranus, and known as “the mother of gods”.

Selene white hot chocolate with almond milk

Goddess of the Moon

Styx pumpkin spice

Goddess of the river Styx and a Naiad who was the first to aid Zeus in the Titan war.

Terpsichore honey latte

Goddess of dance and chorus and one of the nine Muses.

Themis like 3 gallons of espresso

Ancient Greek Titaness and goddess of divine order, law, natural law and custom.

Thetis tea with looooots of honey basically just warm honey water

Sea nymph, goddess of water and one of the fifty Nereids, daughters of the ancient sea god Nereus. Also a shapeshifter and a prophet.

Tyche Starbucks pink drink

Goddess of prosperity and fortune.

Aeolus unsweetened ice tea

Greek god of the winds and air

Aether steamed milk with cinnamon

Primordial god of the upper air, light, the atmosphere, space and heaven.

Alastor one sugar in tea or coffee

God of family feuds and avenger of evil deeds.

Apollo decaf

Olympian god of music, poetry, art, oracles, archery, plague, medicine, sun, light and knowledge.

Ares mocha Frappuccino

God of war. Represented the physical, violent and untamed aspect of war.

Aristaeus tea he made himself

Minor patron god of animal husbandry, bee-keeping, and fruit trees. Son of Apollo.

Asclepius all the tea or black coffee

God of medicine, health, healing, rejuvenation and physicians.

Attis just water please

A minor god of vegetation, fruits of the earth and rebirth.

Caerus nitro cold brew

Minor god of opportunity, luck and favorable moments.

Cronos peach tea with cream

The god of time. Not to be confused with Cronus, the Titan father of Zeus.

Crios decaf with cream and sugar

The Titan god of the heavenly constellations and the measure of the year..

Cronus vanilla Frappuccino with no coffee

God of agriculture, leader and the youngest of the first generation of Titans and father of the Titans. Not to be confused with Cronos, god of time.

Deimos earl grey tea with cream

Deimos is the personification of dread and terror.

Dionysus either like a tiny bit of coffee in a milkshake or espresso directly into his veins

An Olympian god of the grape harvest, winemaking and wine, of ritual madness, religious ecstasy and theatre.

Erebus iced coffee with vanilla and milk

Primordial god of darkness.

Eros strawberry Frappuccino

God of sexual desire, attraction, love and procreation.

Hades vanilla latte with soy milk

God of the Dead and Riches and King of the Underworld.

Helios chocolate and peanut butter hot chocolate

God of the Sun and also known as Sol.

Hephaestus iced tea with lemonade

God of fire, metalworking, stone masonry, forges and the art of sculpture. Created weapons for the gods and married to Aphrodite.

Hermes matcha

God of trade, thieves, travelers, sports, athletes, and border crossings, guide to the Underworld and messenger of the gods.

Hymenaios cold brew

God of marriage ceremonies, inspiring feasts and song.

Hypnos doesn’t like the way caffeine makes him feel so he drinks decaf

The Greek god of sleep.

Kratos Oreo milkshake

God of strength and power.

Momus gingerbread latte

God of satire, mockery, censure, writers and poets and a spirit of evil-spirited blame and unfair criticism.

Morpheus peppermint mocha

God of dreams and sleep – has the ability to take any human form and appear in dreams.

Paean London fog with lavender

The physician of the Olympian gods.

Pan mint tea

God of nature, the wild, shepherds, flocks, goats, mountain wilds, and is often associated with sexuality. Also a satyr (half man, half-goat).

Plutus hot chocolate with caramel

The Greek god of wealth.

Poseidon chai

Olympian Greek god of the sea, earthquakes, storms, and horses.

Priapus black coffee or coffee with creamer

Minor rustic fertility god, protector of flocks, fruit plants, bees and gardens and known for having an enormous penis.

Thanatos butterscotch iced coffee

A minor god and the god of death.

Triton sea salt caramel Frappuccino

Messenger of the sea and the son of Poseidon and Amphitrite.

Zelus lemonade

The god of dedication, emulation, eager rivalry, envy, jealousy, and zeal.

Zues lil bitch juice

God of the sky, lightning, thunder, law, order, justice, King of the Gods and the “Father of Gods and men”.

#witchcraft #gods #greek gods #goddesses #pagan #associations

[4erinbrooke]

Want to make your own natural, low sugar, probiotics at a fraction of the cost of buying them in supplement form? Make your own yogurt. It’s really easy and good for your gut.

Commercial probiotics are priced anywhere from $10 to $60 (depending on the type). The gummy variety and the dry supplements may not even be getting your body what it needs; living bacteria. Probiotics are destroyed by heat or time sitting on grocery store shelves. The refrigerated types are very expense.

Probiotics are important to our intestinal health and wellness. The bacteria living in our gut gets unbalanced, especially on our western diets. Feed it sugar...and we over populate some bacteria. Take antibiotics...and we destroy others. Seventy percent of our hormones come directly from the gut. When we unbalance our system, we are creating chain reactions that affect all systems in the body.

Why not just buy yogurt? Most grocery store brands of yogurt are filled with sugar!!!! They taste great, but they are are not good for your health. Over pasteurized dairy, stabilizers, thickeners, sugar, coloring, and added flavors are not what you need. In order to get enough probiotics in your system, you need to eat good quality, low sugar varieties, AKA the expensive kind. Or...you can buy one high quality yogurt and a container of milk to make your own supply that lasts for two weeks.

Here are some simple instructions to make your own delicious yogurt. Choose high quality ingredients for the maximum health benefit. Note: You can also make yogurt from non-dairy beverages if you can’t eat dairy. You will need to buy the starter probiotics from an online company. If you are lactose intolerant, then let the yogurt culture itself for 24 hours. The lactose gets eaten up in the process. Buy one half gallon of milk (pasteurized, ultra-pasteurized, low fat, whole fat, are all fine) and one (low sugar) yogurt to act as your starter. I chose Siggi’s for its high quality and 5 active cultures (S.therophilus, L.delbrueckii subsp. bulgaricus, B.lactis, L.acidophilus, L.delbrueckii subsp. lactis). The strains in this yogurt promote vitamin absorption in the gut, fight tumors, break down body waste, and bind to the intestines to stop pathogens from entering. Those are some busy bacteria! Different yogurts have different cultures. Choose one that has multiple strains.

Turn the light on in your oven. That bulb will heat the oven to about 100*. Make sure you haven’t used the oven in several hours. They retain heat for longer than you think. You can also use your microwave (without any heat) or an Instapot. Heat the milk in a Dutch oven (or pan with a lid) on medium heat. Use a kitchen thermometer to test the heat. Ideally you want the milk between 170*and 200*. Stir the milk to keep it from burning on the stovetop. You are almost done. Really! Let it cool to room temperature. You can pop the pan into a sink filled with a couple inches of cold water to speed this up. Take a cup of the warm milk and place it in a glass measuring cup . When you are at room temperature, add the yogurt to the cup of milk and stir until smooth. If you add it to hot milk, you will kill the cultures. Stir your yogurt mixture back into the main pan. Place the lid back on the pan and put it in the oven. Done. It’s that easy! The hard part is waiting for the yogurt to be ready to eat. Pictured below is my little kitchen in the middle of the night. I had to sneak a peek at the process. You can too...just don’t stir or jiggle the yogurt. You can stick a spoon in, though, to test the thickness.

I let mine incubate for 24 hours. Remove from the oven. Let it cool and place it in the fridge. You will have a thick half gallon quantity of yogurt. I transfer mine to a glass container. You can also store it in mason jars, or just leave it in the pan you cooked it in.

Yogurt will be ready to eat in 4 hours (pictured here). It gets thicker and more tart the longer it sits. Greek Yogurt is what you get after a full day. I stop here. The yogurt is as rich and as thick as an standard yogurt. If you like it really creamy (ice cream consistency) you can strain the yogurt in cheese cloth sitting inside a fine mesh strainer (or tie up the cheese cloth and strain over a bowl). You can use the whey (the yellow liquid that separates from the yogurt) to make sour cream, feed it to your plants, add it to smoothies, etc. It’s very healthy. You can also just stir it back into your yogurt as it separates.

Plain yogurt is tart. Don’t add white sugar. Try something low glycemic. I add a little honey (agave or drizzle of maple syrup), tiny bit of vanilla, chia seeds, blueberries, and cinnamon. Try it in a smoothie. Use it to make salad dressing. Add some gluten free granola. Make it yours, but just make it! It’s fun, inexpensive, and great for your health!

Know what else is fermented and delicious? Pickles! Let make those next. See you next post.

[nancydrew428]

Nancy Drew Drink Recipes

I compiled a list of over 20 Nancy Drew drink recipes (although I didn’t put smoothie, milkshake, or hot chocolate recipes). I hope you enjoy and let me know if you find any of them tasty!

Afterglow (x)

Ingredients:

1 cup grenadine

½ cup pomegranate juice

½ cup sugar

2 cups orange juice

2 cups pineapple juice

1 orange slice (optional)

Directions:

Mix.

Serve over ice.

Grenadine Directions:

Separate the pomegranate seeds from the membranes and skin.

In a heavy saucepan, cover pomegranate seeds with 1 pint of water and simmer, stirring until juice sacs release their juice, about 5 minutes.

Pour through a cheesecloth-layered sieve into a bowl, pressing the juice from the seeds. Discard seeds.

Measure the strained pomegranate juice and add an equal amount of sugar.

Pour into saucepan and bring to a boil.

Reduce heat and simmer for 10 to 15 minutes.

Cool to room temperature.

Add food coloring, if using. Pour into a decorative stoppered bottle.

Apple Pie Moonshine (x)

Ingredients:

4 cups apple juice

4 cups apple cider

4 cups apple juice

1 tablespoon ground or grated cinnamon

1 tablespoon honey

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

10 whole cloves

½ cup brown sugar

4 cinnamon sticks

1 shiny apple

Directions:

Pour the non-alcoholic liquids (apple juice, apple cider) into a large pot

Add the brown sugar + 4 cinnamon sticks

Bring the pot to a boil, then simmer for 15 mins

Once the liquid cools to a luke-warm temperature, add the moonshine!

Stir diligently and let cool (you can stick the whole pot in the fridge)

Apple Cider Directions:

Buy large jug of apple juice or "apple cider."

Pour apple juice into a large pot. Set on the stove and turn the burner to warm.

Stir in ground or grated cinnamon, honey, vanilla extract, and cloves.

Warm on low for 30 minutes or more. The juice will concentrate and sweeten, so the longer it's on there, the sweeter it will be.

Serve hot or cold, but pour the cider through a strainer to catch out those whole cloves before drinking.

Birch Beer - Alcoholic (x)

Ingredients:

1 cup birch syrup

3 ½ cups water

¼ packet wine yeast

Directions:

Add the birch syrup to the bottom of a quart mason jar. Bring the water to a boil and pour it over the birch syrup. Stir to dissolve.

Pitch ¼ packet of wine yeast into a few tablespoons of water and allow the yeast to dissolve.

Allow the birch syrup mixture to come to room temperature, and then pitch the yeast (add it in).  

Cap with a mason jar fermentation kit, and allow the mixture to ferment at room temperature for a few weeks, until visible fermentation has stopped. If you're using white sugar and birch sap, it may be done in less than a week.

Carefully pour the birch beer off into another container, leaving any yeasty sediment behind in the mason jar. Bottle in a simple flip top Grolsch bottle and allow it to age for at least a few days, but preferably 2 weeks, before

Bleeding Heart (x)

Ingredients:

1 part strawberry

1 part orange juice

1 part lemon juice

1 part pomegranate juice

Ice

Directions:

Blend.

Bleeding Horse (x)

Ingredients:

1 part strawberry

1 part orange juice

1 part lemon juice

1 part cranberry juice

Ice

½ cup sugar (optional)

Directions:

Blend.

Suggestions:

Use ¾ cups for the strawberries and juices to yield 3 to 4 drinks.

Add half a cup of sugar for ¾ cups of each fruit to make it sweeter.

To make it less like a lemonade, use less lemon or more of the other ingredients.

Bog Punch (x)

Ingredients:

2 parts pineapple juice

2 parts lemon juice

1 part orange juice

2 parts cranberry juice

4 parts fizzy water

1 orange slice

Directions:

Mix.

Garnish with orange slice.

Brown River (x)

Ingredients:

1 part pomegranate juice

4 parts pineapple juice

1 part lemon juice

4 parts cranberries

Ice

1 cherry

Directions:

Mix.

Garnish with cherry.

Connolly’s Folly (x)

Ingredients:

1 part lemon juice

2 parts fizzy water

2 parts orange juice

Ice

Directions:

Mix.

Crow’s Nest (x)

Ingredients:

4 parts orange juice

1 part pomegranate juice

2 parts cranberry juice

1 lime slice

Directions:

Mix.

Garnish with lime.

Donal’s Crow’s Nest (x)

Ingredients:

Grenadine

1 ½ cups orange juice

⅜ cup cranberry juice

3 teaspoon grenadine

2 pomegranates

2 cups water

2 ½ cups sugar

2 cups ice

1 lime slice

3 teaspoon sugar

Directions:

Buy already made grenadine or make it using the proportions listed.

Mix grenadine with everything but the lime slice and sugar.

Shake well.

Run lime slice around lip of glass.

Dip lip of glass in sugar.

Pour the drink in the glass.

Garnish with the lime.

Grenadine Directions:

Juice pomegranate.

Mix pomegranate, water, and sugar together.

Ginger Beer (x)

Ingredients:

¾ cup packed brown sugar (you can adjust to taste)

1 ½ cups peeled and minced fresh ginger

2 quarts cold water, divided

⅔ cup freshly squeezed lime juice

¼ teaspoon dried champagne yeast

Directions:

Mix sugar, ginger, and 4 cups water in saucepan. Bring to boil, stirring to dissolve sugar. Remove from heat, cover, and let stand 1 hour to steep.

Strain syrup through strainer and funnel into 2-liter soda bottle. Add lime juice. Fill with cold water to within 2 inches of top. Cap and cool in refrigerator or ice bath until about 65°F.

Add ¼ teaspoon champagne yeast. (Reserve remaining yeast for next batch.) Cap bottle and let stand at room temperature for about 2 days, checking bottle pressure intermittently by squeezing it or releasing the cap slightly and briefly.

When ginger beer has achieved desired carbonation level, refrigerate. Serve and enjoy!

Ginger Whisper (x)

Ingredients:

1 ¼ teaspoons ground ginger

4 ¾ cups water

1 cup soda water

2 ½ bottles ginger ale

1 ½ cups lemon juice

Sugar (optional)

Directions:

Mix in bowl.

Add ice.

Suggestion:

This will be pretty bitter. To combat the bitterness, add some sugar.

Green Isles (x)

Ingredients:

1 part mint

3 parts pineapple

2 parts fizzy water

Directions:

Mix.

Lemonade Disguise (x)

Ingredients:

2 cups cranberry juice

3 1⁄4 cups water

6 cloves

1 cinnamon stick

1⁄3 cup sugar

6 ounces frozen lemonade concentrate

Directions:

Mix cranberry juice, water, cloves, and cinnamon and heat over med. to a roiling boil.

Remove from heat and let stand 5 minute.

Strain over pitcher.

Mix in sugar and lemonade, reheat as desired.

Leprechaun’s Lunch Version 1 (x)

Ingredients:

1 part mint

1 part ice cream

4 parts milk

Directions:

Blend.

Leprechaun’s Lunch Version 2 (x)

Ingredients:

Irish cream

1 can (12 ounces) evaporated milk

1 cup heavy whipping cream

½ cup 2% milk

¼ cup sugar

2 tbsp chocolate syrup

1 tbsp instant coffee granules

2 tsp vanilla extract

¼ tsp almond extract

Creme de menthe substitute

¼ tsp peppermint extract

Creme de cacao substitute

1 ½ tablespoon powdered sugar

2 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ cup milk

Directions:

Mix.

Leprechaun’s Lunch Version 3 - Alcoholic (x)

Ingredients:

2 tablespoon Bailey’s Irish Cream

2 tablespoon creme de menthe

2 tablespoon creme de cacao

½ cup milk

Directions:

Pour the Bailey's irish cream, creme de menthe and creme de cacao over two ice cubes in a small (8-oz) highball glass or equivalent.

Fill with milk.

Stir.

Serve.

Mean Fiddler (x)

Ingredients:

4 parts fizzy water

4 parts orange

Ice

Directions:

Mix.

Minty Festival Punch (x) (x)

Ingredients:

9 cups of water

18 ounces cranberry juice

9 oranges (quartered)

14 ounces of lime juice

8 tablespoons of sugar

3 sprigs of mint

Directions:

Combine ingredients in large pot.

Heat on low.

Nancy Drew AKA Hardy Boy (x)

Ingredients:

Splash/shot white rum

1 small can ginger ale

Splash lime juice

Directions:

Pour rum, ginger ale and lime juice over ice.

Stir.

Suggestion:

Use a cocktail shaker.

Peat Bog (x)

Ingredients:

1 part pomegranate juice

1 part mint

8 parts milk

Directions:

Mix.

Pine Hill Punch (x)

Ingredients:

6 cups apple cider

1 cinnamon stick

1⁄4 teaspoon nutmeg

1⁄4 cup honey

2 tablespoons lemon juice

3 teaspoons lemon zest

1 (20 ounce) can pineapple juice (unsweetened)

Directions:

Put cider and cinnamon in pot and bring to a boil.

Lower heat, cover, and simmer 5 minute.

Stir in nutmeg, honey, lemon juice, zest, and pineapple juice and simmer 5 minute more.

Serve hot or cold.

Root Beer (x)

Ingredients:

1 gallon filtered water, divided

1 tablespoon sarsaparilla root bark

1 tablespoon sassafras root bark

1 tablespoon birch bark

3 star anise pods

1 vanilla bean, split and scraped

½ teaspoon crushed ginger

4 sprigs chocolate mint

1 ½ cups brown sugar, packed

½ cup molasses

⅛ teaspoon ale yeast

Directions:

Combine 2 quarts water, sassafras, sarsaparilla, birch, mint, star anise, ginger, and vanilla in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and cook for 10 minutes. Remove pot from heat, cover, and let steep for 2 hours.

Strain liquid through fine mesh strainer lined with cheesecloth into large pot. Add remaining 2 quarts water along with the brown sugar and molasses. Stir until mixture is integrated, then cover.

Let cool to 75°F, then stir in yeast and let it sit for 15 minutes. Fill plastic bottles with mixture, leaving 2 inches of space at top. Screw on caps. Keep bottles at room temperature for 36 hours, then open a bottle slowly and carefully to see if it is carbonated enough. If it is, then go on to step 4. If not, reseal the bottle and let rest for another 12 to 24 hours until desired carbonation is reached.

Place bottles in the refrigerator for 2 days before drinking. You can store refrigerated root beer for about one month.

Scarlet Slipper Raspberry Punch (x)

Ingredients:

1 (3 ounce) package raspberry Jell-O gelatin

1 (1/4 ounce) package raspberry powdered drink mix

1 (6 ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate

1 cup sugar

3 quarts water

Directions:

Mix jell-o as directed on box in 1 gallon pitcher.

Add drink powder.

Stir in rest of ingredients.

Chill.

Smuggler’s Gold (x)

Ingredients:

2 parts pineapple juice

1 part lemon juice

2 part orange juice

Ice

1 orange slice

Directions:

Mix.

Garnish with orange slice.

The Lady Detective - Alcoholic (x)

Ingredients:

2 ounces El Dorado 12 year rum

¾ ounce fresh lime juice

1 ounce ginger syrup

2 cups sugar

1 six-inch piece fresh ginger, finely diced

2 cups water

6 to 8 mint leaves

Top with coconut foam & Bittercube Bolivar Bitters

Directions:

Add the rum to shaker tin and lightly muddle 6–8 mint leaves.

Add the lime juice, ginger syrup and shake with ice.

Double strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Top the cocktail with a thin layer of coconut foam.

Add four drops of Bittercube Bolivar Bitters in a circular pattern.

Then drag a toothpick through the drops to create a nice design. (optional)

Ginger Syrup Directions:

Place sugar, ginger, and 2 cups water in a medium saucepan.

Bring to a boil.

Reduce to a simmer, and cook about 1 hour, until ginger flavor is quite strong.

Let cool.

Strain before using.

Store in an airtight container, refrigerated, up to a week.

The Nancy Drew - Alcoholic (x)

Ingredients:

2 ounces aged rum

1 ounce ginger syrup

2 cups sugar

1 six-inch piece fresh ginger, finely diced

2 cups water

¾ ounce freshly squeezed lime juice

½ ounce coconut cream

Angostura bitters

Directions:

Make ginger syrup first, unless you buy it premade.

Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice.

Shake vigorously for 10-15 seconds.

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Top with a few dashes of Angostura bitters.

Ginger Syrup Directions:

Place sugar, ginger, and 2 cups water in a medium saucepan.

Bring to a boil.

Reduce to a simmer, and cook about 1 hour, until ginger flavor is quite strong.

Let cool.

Strain before using.

Store in an airtight container, refrigerated, up to a week.

#nancy drew #her interactive #recipe #recipes #drink recipes #alcoholic #alcoholic drink #nonalcoholic #nonalcoholic drink #drinks #nancy drew recipes #beverage #post #mine

[blssomings]

☕ . ˚ ◝  (  kim yerim. cis female. she/her. ) bohee park is a twenty year old taurus. the tennis player’s go-to order is an iced chai latte with almond milk and a cinnamon raisin bagel. they like to listen to dreams by the cranberries while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are indolent but swear they’re totally generous as well. maybe that’s why falling in love with strangers, scuffs on knees and elbows, and laying in bed until two remind me of them.

hi there !! i'm bee ( . . . as in bumble -- what a bad joke JNNVMBNC ), and wow, i’m so, so, so excited to be here! this here is the light of my life bohee. the long + short with her is that she has two modes: going, going, going or nothing at all. she means well but she’s notorious for being unreliable. there’s some more info about my little blossom under the cut, and be sure to tap the heart and i’ll come to you. 💖❤️💕

                                          BASICS. 💕

birth name : bohee  park

nicknames : "  blossom,  "  or  "  bo.  "

birthday : may  14th  ,  1999

gender : cis-gender female

zodiac sign : taurus

hometown : anaheim  ,  california  ,  united  states

current residence : downtown    los    angeles  ,  california  ,  united  states

family : edward  park (  father  /  sanitation  worker  )  ,  park  (  mother  /  middle  school  english  teacher  )  ,  two  older  siblings  +  two  younger  siblings.

sexual orientation : pansexual    /    panromantic.

positive traits : generous     ,     polite     ,     adoring     ,     intuitive     ,     &     golden-hearted.

negative traits : headstrong     ,     deceitful     ,     crass     ,     lackadaisical     ,       &     slow-moving.

                                          ETC. INFO. 💕

born the middle child of five ( two sisters + two brothers, ) bohee’s family was full of talented people. music constantly echoed throughout the park house, while paints and pencils were scattered everywhere. from a young age, bohee knew her siblings were special, but their excellence only emphasized her . . . well, lack thereof.

her eldest sister was a beautiful painter, while her eldest brother had written three plays before the age of nineteen. the younger twins were an incredible violinist and a genius, respectively. bohee had no clue where she fit in; growing up in the park house of wonders was incredibly lonely when you’re the only one who’s not wonderful.

bohee’s jealous nature wouldn’t allow her to sit idly by and watch her siblings get all of the spotlight. she wasn’t going to mope around and wait for her calling to call out to her; she was going to find it.

and it was rough. art was never her forte. she couldn’t carry a tune and it was often hard for her to perfect stick figures. it seemed like she would never find her talent. maybe her parents lied, maybe some people simply aren’t good at anything. bohee was so ready to throw in the towel and accept her inadequate fate. 

. . . that was until she stepped foot on the tennis court. finding tennis was simply a fluke. a friend at the time wanted to join the team but couldn’t muster up the courage to go by herself. bohee didn’t really care much, so she offered to tag along but the moment the coach put a racket in her hands, everything clicked into place.

( long story short ) she’s a semi-professional tennis player who tends to stop at the deja brew before ( and, don’t tell her coach or her trainer ) or after practice. the fact that she could probably down a gallon of iced chai isn’t something that she should be proud of, but it’s not her fault the baristas are so dang good at their job.

bohee might look cute on the outside, but if you catch her on the right day, she’s quite the contender. yes, she likes to laugh and joke around, but certain things aren’t laughing matters. for bohee, tennis is one of them.

another thing that’s not a laughing matter is music. unfortunately for her ( and everyone around her ) she never grew out of that thirteen-year-old phase where she thought that liking old music was a personality trait. half of her paychecks go to the local record shop, where everyone knows her by name.

can and often does put the ‘b’ in bitchy. she’s a taurus, so you KNOW she’s stubborn. she’s also prone to tunnel vision, so to anyone who gets in the way of what she wants ( and she’s not picky; it can be anything like a win at a match to a specific cart at the grocery store ) i have this to say: good luck. i’m sorry, but good luck.

bohee is loyal to a fault. she’s quite standoffish at first, but when she decides that someone is up to her ( well, not so ) high standards, she would go to the end of the world and back again for them.

she’s The Worst though because she’ll get into moods ( especially during the off-season ) where all she does is sit in bed and play her old kirby video games all the way through. if anyone tries to come and get her out of the house, they’ll have to face her wrath.

she’s also got a hint of a god complex HAHA. to her? she manages to both be the coolest person ever and the worst . . . all at the same time.

will hype anyone up tho! she’s a one-woman hype group. she’s the friend who comments all the heart and star emojis on someone’s instagram post, and she’s the first one to call you on your birthday uwu

. . . pls love her. sure she’s the world’s smallest dweeb and can be a brat BUT she means well !!!

                                         POSSIBLE PLOTS. 💕 

i’ve got a real plots page here!! stuff will be added soon.

uhuhuh PLEASE give her like a tight-knit friend group!!!! they send stale memes, clown each other and sing along to old songs in the car.

someone who gets under her skin TOO much. no matter how hard bohee tries to ignore this person, she really can’t and she is always drawn back to them.

best friend! ride or die best friend! regardless of if they’ve known each other for a few years or their whole lives, they’re each other’s go-to person. breakup? hang out and talk about it. job promotion? hang out and talk about it. any minor inconvenience? hang out and talk about it.

OOOOH maybe your muse wants to take up tennis as a hobby / for giggles and bohee’s their impromptu instructor ( she’s trying to make that $$$$. )

exes? friends? one-night-stands? enemies? people who she smiles to when she sees them at the cafe? yes, yes, yes, please!

if you have read all this . . . thank u so much !!! i should be around on tumblr im for the rest of the night, but if not then my discord is clown college valedictorian #8254 :~)

#hqbrew:intro #. . . better late than never ! #:^)

[mythicalkitchen]

Funnel Cake Grilled Cheese

Today, Mythical Chef Josh is combining the beloved grilled cheese sandwich with funnel cake to create a sweet and savory masterpiece, the funnel cake grilled cheese sandwich. Make your own with the recipe below! MK #005

Funnel Cake Grilled Cheese

Makes 2 sandwiches

Total time: 45 minutes

Active time: 40 minutes

 Step 1: Funnel Cakes

Ingredients

* 1 quart vegetable oil

* 4 eggs

* 1 cup milk

* 2 Tbsp melted butter

* 1 ½ tsp salt

* 4 ounces shredded white cheddar

* 1 ½ cups flour

* 1 ½ tsp baking powder

 1) Heat oil in a small, circular sauce pot until it reaches 375 degrees.

 2) In one large mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, shredded cheddar, milk, and melted butter. In a separate mixing bowl, whisk together flour, salt, sugar, and baking powder. Slowly add the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and whisk thoroughly.

 3) Use a silicone spatula to scrape the batter into a gallon ziploc bag then snip off a ½ inch hole. Hold the bag over the oil and gently squeeze to create an even stream of batter while moving the bag in a figure 8 motion until the surface area of the pot has been covered.

 4) Fry for one minute then, very carefully, use a fork to flip the funnel cake over and fry for 30 seconds on the other side. Remove fro the oil then let drain on paper towels.

 Equipment:

* Small sauce pot filled with oil

* Large clear bowl (x2)

* Whisk

* Silspat

* Ziplock bag (gallon)

* Scissors

* Fork

* Sheet pan lined with paper towels

 Step 2: Strawberry Ketchup

Ingredients

* ½ cup water

* 1 Tbsp tomato paste

* 1 cup chopped strawberries

* ½ cup sugar

* 2 Tbsp white vinegar

* ¼ tsp ground ginger

* ⅛ tsp ground clove

* ⅛ tsp ground cinnamon

* 1 tsp salt

 1) Heat a small sauce pot on medium high heat. Add all ingredients to the pot, stir to combine, then allow to cook for 10 minutes while stirring.

 2) When the strawberries have softened, add the mixture to a blender to puree, or use an immersion blender.

 3) Continue to cook down while stirring for an additional 15 minutes, until the mixture has turned into a thick paste.

 Equipment:

* Small saucepot

* Wooden spoon

* Stick blender

* Cutting board

* Chef knife

 Step 3: Grill It

Ingredients

* 1 bowl sliced strawberries

* 4 funnel cakes

* ¼ cup strawberry ketchup

* 8 slices quality White American cheese (like Boar’s head)

* 2 Tbsp butter

* ¼ cup powdered sugar

 1) Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Add two slices of white american cheese to the ugly side of each funnel cake (you’ll know which it is) then spread a healthy layer of strawberry ketchup on top of half the cheesed-up funnel cakes. Sandwich the funnel cakes together.

 2) Heat ½ Tbsp butter in a pan on medium heat (or use a panini press if you have one!). When the butter is melted, add one sandwich to the pan, and use a spatula to press it all down. Flip after about 5 minutes, and continue to cook for an additional 4 on the other side. Remove from the pan and pop it in the oven for an additional 5 minutes just to melt the cheese

 3) Please share it with your friends I’m pretty sure they will love it and if they don’t that’s ok because you tried your hardest and that’s what really matters.

 Equipment:

* Spoon

* Pam

* Griddle

* Metal spatula

* Sheet pan with silpat underneath

* Knife for cutting

* Cutting board

* Sifter

#mythical kitchen #mythical kitchen recipe #MK005

[throughtheglassdarkly]

Derek’s recipe book: Missing Pieces, part 5

Vanilla Custard Doughnuts

I don’t even want to hear about Dunkin or Krispy Kreme after you’ve tried these. Yes, they take time and effort. They’re worth it.

Ingredients

For the dough:

2 ½ tsp. active dry yeast

2/3 c. whole milk at room temperature

3 ½ c. all-purpose flour

1/3 c. granulated sugar

2 tsp. kosher salt

3 eggs

7 T. unsalted butter at room temperature, cut into 8 pieces

For the pastry cream:

1 ½ c. whole milk

½ c. granulated sugar

¼ c. cake flour

½ tsp. kosher salt

4 egg yolks

1 tsp. vanilla extract

6 T. heavy cream

For frying: 1 gallon canola oil

For coating: 1 c. granulated sugar tossed with 1 tsp of cinnamon

To make the dough:

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a dough hook attachment, stir together yeast and milk. Let stand until yeast is dissolved, about one minute. Add flour, sugar, salt, and eggs. Mix on low speed until dough comes together, about three minutes. Add butter, two pieces at a time, mixing after each addition and until butter is fully incorporated and dough is soft, a total of five to six minutes. Remove dough from bowl and wrap tightly with plastic wrap. Refrigerate at least six hours and up to 15 hours (8-10 seems to be the sweet spot, so make these before you go to bed and they’ll be ready to fry in the morning).

To make the pastry cream:

While the dough is chilling, prepare the pastry cream. In a small bowl, whisk together sugar, flour, and salt. In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg yolks until well-combined, about 30 seconds. Slowly whisk in the flour mixture until thick and pasty. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, warm the milk until bubbles just start to form around the edges. Don’t let the milk boil or it will scald.

Remove milk from the heat and slowly drizzle into the egg mixture, whisking constantly. Scrape the egg mixture back into the saucepan and place over medium heat, whisking constantly until mixture thickens and comes to a boil, about three minutes. Don’t stop whisking for even a second or you’ll get sweet scrambled eggs. Boil, whisking, for ten seconds, then immediately remove from the heat. The cream will become thick and glossy and won’t have any foam on top.

Pour pastry cream through a fine mesh sieve set over a small bowl and whisk in the vanilla. Cover with plastic wrap, pressing the plastic wrap against the surface of the pastry cream to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate until chilled, at least four hours and up to three days.

Assembly:

Leave the pots and pans for a kindly helpful fairy to clean up while you sleep. In the morning, line a baking sheet with parchment paper and spray lightly with non-stick cooking spray. Set this aside. Place the refrigerated dough on a well-floured work surface and gently roll into a 12-inch square, about ½ inch thick. Cut the dough into nine doughnuts, using a 3 ½-inch round cutter (a water glass works just fine if you don’t have a specifically-sized cutter). Transfer the doughnuts to the prepared baking sheet, cover with a piece of plastic wrap that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray, and place in a warm spot until they’ve doubled in height and feel puffy and pillowy, about two to three hours.

While the doughnuts are rising, join Yova for a boozy brunch. Come back, take two Advil, and get ready to fry the doughnuts. Fill a large, heavy-bottomed pot with three inches of oil and place over medium-high heat until it reaches 350 degrees Fahrenheit on a deep-fry thermometer. While the oil heats, line a baking sheet with a double layer of paper towels for draining the doughnuts. Place the cinnamon sugar in a small bowl and set aside.

Working with three doughnuts at a time, carefully lower the doughnuts into the hot oil and fry until golden brown on the underside, two to three minutes. Carefully turn the doughnuts over and fry an additional two to three minutes, or until the other side is golden brown as well. Using a slotted spoon or spider strainer, remove the doughnuts to the paper towel-lined baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining doughnuts.

As soon as the doughnuts are cool enough to handle, toss them in the cinnamon-sugar one at a time to evenly coat them. Return the doughnuts to the paper towel-lined pan and allow to cool completely, 30 to 40 minutes.

While you’re waiting for the doughnuts to cool, beat the heavy cream on medium-high speed until stiff peaks form. Whisk the chilled pastry cream to loosen it up, then gently fold in one-third of the whipped cream. Fold in the remaining whipped cream until no white streaks remain. Transfer mixture to a pastry bag fitting with a small round decorating tip. Poke a hole in the side of each doughnut and fill with pastry cream. Serve doughnuts as soon as they are filled.

Serves nine changelings who will appreciate the nearly twenty hours’ worth of work you put into making the best damn doughnuts in the world. Or Day.

#Changeling: The Lost #changeling #CTL #Derek's recipe book #custard doughnuts

[edey63]

easy cinnamon churros with coffee chocolate sauce prep time 20 minutes cook time 15 minutes total time 35 minutes servings 20 churros calories 177 kcal INGREDIENTS: 1 cup water 1 stick (1/2 cup) salted butter 1 cup all-purpose flour 2 eggs oil, for frying 1/4 cup granulated sugar 2 teaspoons cinnamon CHOCOLATE SAUCE 1/2 cup whole milk or heavy cream 6 ounces semi-sweet or dark chocolate chopped 1 tablespoon instant coffee granules 1 teaspoon vanilla extract INSTRUCTIONS: 1. In a medium saucepan, combine water and butter. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Add the flour all at once, stirring until the mixture forms a ball and pulls away from the sides of the pan. Remove from heat. Cool for 10 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, mixing until fully combined. 2. Transfer mixture to a piping bag fitted with a large star tip or just snip the corner off a gallon size ziplock bag and skip the tip. 3. In a medium bowl, combine the sugar and cinnamon. Set aside. 4. In a heavy-bottomed large pot, heat at least 2 inches of oil until a deep-fry thermometer registers 350 degrees F. Working in batches, slowly squeeze 3-inch long strips of batter into the oil, using scissors to snip the strips off from the tip. Fry, turning once, until light golden brown, 4 to 5 minutes. When done, transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain and then roll the warm churros in the cinnamon sugar to coat. Serve warm with the chocolate sauce (recipe below). CHOCOLATE SAUCE: 1. Warm the milk in a small saucepan over low heat until just steaming. Remove from the heat and stir in the chocolate, coffee, and vanilla, stirring until the chocolate is fully melted and the sauce is smooth. Serve alongside the churros. https://www.instagram.com/p/BstCGwSHMNa/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17j9bpliufpab

[skwonkk]

Apple pie for you and me Honeydew, artichoke, hearts of lettuce Such as bread, cream, white sauce, and aspic "Ooh la la, ooh la la" chanted the traffic wardens but Steve was in no mood for Swedish Volleyball that day. He swore to himself that if Erica came home again dressed like a chicken, he would tell the Monopolies Commission who had really been putting cream cakes in the Lord Mayor of London's underpants. Then, the avocado dip would really hit the fan! Bacon blue bread dog eared... Buttered bagels and lox, cream cheese, rhubarb (Food) I'll never keep you waitin' like a green banana See what to do to all those healthy basil leaves I want a bean feast And I got myself a beer Well, those brownies oughta be just about ready now Caramel. With a carrot nose and hat on Extol your sacrifice with fine caviars and aspics Then maybe carrots and celery And they’re begging for a taste of my cherry pie Two squares of dark chocolate And you put some cinnamon, in a cup. Drinking coffee every hour until one You get cola from a nut Eating cookies when no one's lookin'! When the corn is past its prime Cotton candy clouds Cupcakes, icing pops Cream buns and doughnuts Think of the fondue that we’ll be sharin'! Pulling up the garlic Lots of gingerbread men At least I know about the grapes! Add the ham pieces Become the land of hamburgers and raisins that can sing? Hot dogs and baked beans and sauerkraut With a three scoop ice cream cone in his hand Ketchup and salt and ground beef Lemons growin' on our tree Lime and sugar, sprig of mint Sorrows lollipop lands stick-broken on a dark carnival ground Percy, the hapless FBI agent, disguised as a Russian reindeer salesman, slid into the sushi bar in downtown Frankfurt and realised with a start that the man with the macaroni on his head was infact his ex-wife Rosemary; herself disguised as a Peruvian professor of Chemistry. The boot was on the other foot however, when he showed her his Swiss Army pen-knife Pink macaroons We'll have biscuits marmalade, on a bench near the park Now I’m soft like a marshmallow She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since maybe it's a Chocolate cake, big milkshakes Peanut butter sandwiches, English muffins Black-bottomed mushrooms and chicken pot pie Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove Omelette The layers of your onion, your emotional disease just Darth Orange Juice Do you like pancakes? Haven’t ever tasted a Georgia Peach But they still go for peanuts And sauté the onions and green pepper 'til they're tender When you're in a pickle and ya plum surrounded And pineapple patties to grill It helps us make pizza, it keeps things in line You bring the popcorn PotaTo potaTo potaTo If you wanna try Some Piggy Plum Pie Cakes puddings and pies White hat on a pumpkin Raisins come from grapes, people come from apes Over rice! Oh, the ricotta we'll be digesting! Like cooked meats, fruit salad, soil foods, and yolk! You love spiced salmon strudel. Fried egg sandwich, white bread, bottle of HP (White bread, white bread) Bacon, egg and sausage I like cake and scones, ice cream cones You bring the soda And some folks loves ham hocks and some folks loves pork chops and some folks love vegetable soup Spaghetti! He always ate in the Steak Bar. He loved to drive in his Jaguar. Oh strawberry moon She's a sad tomato Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik Vanilla chocolat Waffles! The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon Whiskey bottles piling high I will drink the wine while it is warm Yogurt, butterscotch, granola

#Food Lyrics #Sklingorkz