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mrslankyman · 3 months

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Oh Darling

Alastor x (fem) Reader

word count: 2K

Fluff / more of a friendship

based on pilot alastor / slightly out of character

Working on part 2

✩⋆｡‧₊˚⭑˚₊‧｡⋆✩

Wasn’t everyday just so grand in Hell?

No.

It wasn’t.

Working at the Hazbin Hotel sure wasn’t making your days any grander. Being a room attendant and a good friend to Charlie was starting to get to you.

At least Nifty was there to help. Even though she mainly tried to kill the bugs she at least helped clean the place up. You had become accustomed to her weird and somewhat insane antics. It was Hell after all. You couldn’t really judge.

Husk was as fun as ever. Giving snarky comments but he at least listened when the night wound down and you needed a drink.

Angel Dust would joke around and tell you how awful you looked after scrubbing one of the rooms.

Vaggie didn’t say much since she knew you were friends with Charlie. She rather enjoyed your company stating you were one of the most sane sinners in the hotel.

Alastor on the other hand. Didn’t say much about you nor did he really say much about anyone. He would greet you just as anyone else. Something about him felt weirdly off.

You didn’t question it too much and just went on with your work.

“Hello Darling pleasure to be seeing you this morning!” That radio like voice echoed into the hotels kitchen. You were busy making breakfast.

Someone had to do it and it sure wasn’t gonna be Nifty. No one wants roaches in their pancakes.

“Good morning Alastor.” You answered not looking at him as you flipped the pancake. “Making up a lovely breakfast I do suppose? My mother used to make the most splendid ones in her time.” He remarked as his shadow loomed over you from behind.

“I’m sure she did. I’m not so positive mine will beat your mothers but it will beat your hunger.” Your joke was met with that signature smile as you turned around.

“Ahaha Im sure it will.” He laughed as he stepped aside to give you room. “I came to see if you were able to dust my radio tower? It has accumulated quite a bit of dust.” His question wasn’t really a question. You’d have to do it. It was your job. Though it was nice that he wasn’t demanding.

“Yes I can. I’ll just have to finish up breakfast.” You stated as you went back to cooking.

“Lovely. Oh and {Y/N}.” He cooed making you turn to look at him. His eyes turned dark and black, red static glitched around him. The room turned dark. “Don’t mess with my things.” He warned his clock eyes appearing and his smile widening.

You nodded quickly and looked around. You had seen him do this before but never to you directly. “Yes sir. I won’t.” You answered quickly and sighed with relief as he went back to normal.

“Good.” He clapped his hands together and turned away. “I’ll be back once breakfast is done.” He waved and hummed as he walked out of the kitchen.

You went back to cooking. Just forgetting about what just happened. It was best to just act like it was normal.

——

With breakfast done. You headed off to do your job. Or well request in better words. You grabbed your dusting supplied and went up to Alastors radio tower.

Doing as asked you just dusted. Not moving much of his stuff just the things that needed to be moved to dust. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too mad about that.

Surely he understood if you had to move stuff to be able an do your job. If not I guess you would have to run to Charlie and hide.

While dusting two figures on his desk caught your attention.

A small deer next to a bigger one. Which resembled a doe. Apart if you just assumed he kept up with the deer aesthetic he had going.

Shrugging you dusted them and headed out of the room. Closing the door and headed down stairs to put your supplies up.

——

Nifty was off cleaning somewhere. Husk and Angel Dust were chatting at the bar. Charlie had gone off with Vaggie for the night and who knows where Alastor was.

Deciding that cooking dinner sounded like a good idea you found your self in the kitchen again. Perhaps Charlie should’ve made you the chef instead. Though you just picked up both the jobs. Cleaning was easy and cooking was fun.

Humming you skimmed through a cook book. Unsure of what to cook for the night. That was until a shadow appeared behind you and Alastor appeared.

“Hello Dear!” His enthusiastic voice echoed through the kitchen causing you to turn around and look at him. “I saw you finished dusting. Thank you.” He leaned again the counter. Checking out his claws with a smile. “Need help cooking?” He questioned before looking over at you.

“Just having trouble picking what to cook for tonight.” You answered with a shrug. Making him stand up straight and clap his hands together.

“Why I know just the thing!” He snatched the cook book from you and threw it behind him. A loud thud echoed as it hit the ground.

“Hey-“ he put a finger over your mouth and laughed.

“My mother once showed me a lovely recipe for jambalaya! Who needs a flimsy old cook book when you have memory darling.” He chuckled and nudged you aside as he grabbed all the things he needed.

“I can show you it. If you wish.” He titled his head. Offering to let you in on one of his favorite things.

Something you didn’t suspect but found it rather kind of him.

“Sure. I’d love to learn it.” You agreed and stood beside him as he instructed you on things and gave insight on how to make the ‘best jambalaya you’ll ever eat.’

As he stated.

—

“My mother loved cooking this. Said it was her favorite dish, yes it was.” He smiled wide. A rather genuine smile. Not like the one he always wore. He looked down at the finished dish. A sigh of content escaping his lips.

“I’m sure she was a lovely woman.” You commented grabbing a plate from the cabinet.

He didn’t answer, just hummed. The silence was rather loud. He just stood there for a moment. Lost in memory.

“She was..she really was.” Though his voice sounded rather sad he still held the smile. The never erasing smile.

His reply was late but you put some of the finished jambalaya on a plate. His tone shifting to one of excitement.

“I’m sure you’ll find it splendid.” He turned to you and titled his head. Waiting for you to take a bite.

You moved the spoon up to your mouth and took a bite. Your eyes widened and a smile spread across your face.

It tasted lovely, better than you expected.

His smile stretched further as he watched your reaction.

“Oh I knew you’d love it! It’s very splendid don’t you think? Yes yes, a rather grand recipe the best recipe!” He wrapped his arms around your shoulder. Stretching his arm out in-front of you both and curling his fingers into the palm of his hand.

“I’m sure you agree this is better than some flimsy thing from that old cook book. I can show you many other recipes my mother showed me.” He leaned into your face a smile stuck on his face.

He had never been this touchy so he must be excited.

You nodded in agreement. The idea of having someone to cook with wasn’t a bad one.

“I’d like that.” You laughed and he joined in. Laughing with you for once not feeling like he had to be towering over someone to be seen.

——

So cooking together became a daily occurrence. Wether it be breakfast lunch or dinner. It didn’t matter.

He found cooking with you pleasing. You were one of the only demons he could stand in the hotels.

He slowly began to tell you more about his life. How he and his mother were close. Though it seemed he dodged the questions of his father. Never wanting to talk of him.

Which was understandable from what you could possibly piece together it seemed his dad wasn’t the best.

You decided not to push its.

“So my dear, have you considered being redeemed?” His question made you think. You were both outside looking up at the sky. Dinner was done. And everyone had went to their rooms. You on the other hand weren’t tired and Alastor didn’t have any plans for tomorrow so staying up with you didn’t bother him.

“I suppose it would be nice. Though I’m not sure I would fit in up there.” You shrugged leaning against the railing of his balcony.

He hummed and looked down. “You’re a rather charming demon belle. I don’t see why you wouldn’t fit in.” He chuckled to himself. He didn’t believe in that wacky nonsense of being redeemed.

How could a sinner go to heaven? They had chosen their path in their life time.

He learned that you had killed your husband at the time. Caught him cheating and decided to take his life as well as the other woman. You made your choice in that moment.

Dooming yourself to a life of sin. Just as he had when he committed all his murders.

Though a part of him feared the idea of redemption now. He knew he sure as hell wouldn’t be redeemed. He didn’t feel bad for his crimes. Nor did he care.

But apart of him knew you regretted your actions. You were a soul who would deserve to be redeemed if there was a way.

That scared him.

Knowing he wasn’t in control. Knowing that you could slip out of his hands.

He wasn’t being selfish with his want of keeping you. He just liked having someone around who enjoyed his company. Someone who wasn’t scared of him or only chatted with him cause they didn’t wanna be killed.

Though that is rather selfish isn’t it? Not wanting someone to succeed and be a better version of themself because you want them to stay as they are.

“I’m sure you’d fit in just swell so don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.” He flashed a smile your way. Teeth not showing this time. It seemed almost fake. You shrugged.

“I guess. I would miss everyone here though.. mainly you.” Your words hit him like a brick. He hasn’t suspected you to really truly care about him. Sure you said you two were friends but.. this meant a lot.

“Oh come now. You wouldn’t miss me once you see all the.. heavenly things up there.” He chucked. His voice sounded off and his radio effect faltered.

“Are you okay Alastor? It’s not like I’m gonna be redeemed and even if I was I would miss you. So don’t say I wouldn’t.” You were slightly annoyed at him now. Of course you’d miss him. No amount of heavenly items or ideals would ever top him and his terrible old timey jokes.

“Don’t lie. We’re in Hell why lie? You’re already here! It’s not like it’s gonna send you further down!” He seethed his claws digging into the railing.

“Alastor calm down. Why are you so upset?” You stepped closer to the demon. His ears bent back and his pupils went small. His smile crinkled and his teeth bared.

“You! You have me so confused!” He ran his hand through his hair. Closing his eyes.

“I’ve never felt like this before.. it’s all so frustrating. I’m supposed to make you scared! Don’t you fear me?” He dropped his hand and laughed. A hysteric laugh.

“Alastor..I don’t fear you.. I see you for you.. you’re an amazing friend.” You laid your hand on his shoulder. Calming him down slightly.

“I’m just here to watch these souls suffer and try to climb up only to fall into the fiery pits of failure.. but the pleasure in watching others fail isn’t fun when it comes to you.” He turned his head to look at you.

Your eyes met and for once the smile that was on his face didn’t match what was showing in his eyes.

“A part of me just wants to be with you forever. Just blissfully cooking or chatting like we are now. I’ve never had that.. I have friends but not like this.” He sighed and leaned back against the wall letting himself slide down.

You sat down beside him. Looking at the sky.

“Are those deer figures on your desk you and your mother?” You asked softly.

“Yeah..” he answered.

“They’re lovely.” You held his hand. Smiling as he squeezed yours.

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. You can relax. I’m gonna be here with you. So stop being all sad. It doesn’t suite you.” You leaned against his shoulder. Receiving a sigh from him.

“Did I ever tell you about my first radio show appearance?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“No I don’t believe you did.” You smiled and listened as he began the story.

#alastor #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #idk what this is #kinda bad #I zoned out #fluff #cute #alastor x fem reader #sweet #slight angst

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tang3r1n · 6 months

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still on my shitty dabi kick and i think i struck a chord with @mostlyheinous so here’s random ass shit i think a deadbeat bf dabi would do

18+, hard dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, smoking, forced drinking/taking of drugs, dabi purposely makes you have a bad trip on acid, unprotected sex, anal (referenced plus a thumb in the stink) i’ll add more idfk

kay first off, along the smoke vein, dabi would absolutely threaten to put his cigarettes/blunts out on you if you keep crying (openly, he loves watching you cry all quiet n sniffly)

he’s also no doubt changed you around the apartment with bugs/gross shit just to make you squeal and beg him to put it away

“baby it’s jus’lil beetle~” while waving a fucking 4in long roach he found outside in your face, “gimmie a big, sloppy kiss and i might throw Jeffrey away, as much as it pains me to.”

constantly making you exchange physical/sexual acts for practically basic respect

“show me your pretty tits and i’ll let you go hang with those stupid cunts— no i’m not gonna stop callin’em that, they’re dumb cunts.”

loves making you suck him off right after work, still all musky from the day, his cock even more salty from sweating all day (scent/smell kink is my fav im SORRY.) plugging your nose and jutting his hips out harshly to make you gag and cough around his cock, the sinfully wet noise making him groan out a chuckle as he watched you cringe

any and all attempts to change his behavior end with gaslighting and fake hurt plastered on his face as he breaks your fucking back in bed

“ungh- you’re such a fucking good girl f’me.. i love your, pretty, im so sorry you feel the need to accuse me of such things- god squeeze my dick like that again, fuck yeah- i..uh- gonna make you cum so hard, show y’how this noisy cunt ‘sall mine..”

steals your panties and jacks off with them right fucking in front of you, dick swinging and balls out as he strikes himself with your panties pressed against his face. his bright ass blue eyes piercing into you while he noisily huffs in the smell of your pussy and licks up the crotch of them like the perverted degenerate he is

oh and when you try to break it off, setting him down to explain that he is just..too much.. for you, he goes ballistic.

grabbing you by the hair and dragging you to the bedroom, placing you down still surprisingly softly as he ferociously tears off your clothes and starts eating you out like his life depend on it (idk to him it might, he’s a loser)

once he’s got you all whiny and soft after a few mind-shattering orgasms, he’ll start coping and trying to slip you back into the haze of his glaringly obvious manipulative love

“don’t say stupid fucking shit, pretty, jus’cuz y’on your period or what-the-fuck-ever is going on in that lil head don’t mean you can treat me like this.”

hell chastise you while he fingers you, fingers blurred as he finger-fucks you dizzy, fishing his cock outta his dirty jeans and scoffing as you whine and cry again, shuffling up the bed

he pulls you in again by your ankles, a scarred hand quickly silencing you as it softly pressed against your throat, a silent threat, as he spoke patronizing words to your sex and lust filled mind,

“just be my good angel one more time, pretty,” he forces a crack in his voice, flexing his throat so he sounds tearful and sad, “i just..i love you s’much, wanna show my pretty girl, my everything, how much she means t’me,”

the second you nod he’s grinning manically and flipping you over, forcing his cock into your wet cunt and rabidly humping against your ass, dick barely leaving and inch before pumping right back in as deep as it’d fit.

he’d spit on your other puckered lil hole, making your cry and squirm yet again as he pushes his thumb against it, gut burning with lust and a perverted sense of affection

“no- nononono angel- calm it down, i jus’wanna feel your cute ass ‘round me, promise it’ll just be my thumb— yes pretty i pinky promise

(he ends up cumming in your ass i don’t make the rules mb)

other than failed breakups and gaslighting, dabi also likes getting his pretty wasted

like… really wasted.

dabi’ll give you shit after shot, even making you sit pretty for him while he spits Jack Daniels into your awaiting mouth

he spikes literally all drinks he makes you and it’s so obvious but he just tells you it’s to ‘loosen your bitchy ass up,’ but in his own special, joking tone.

cut to you blowing cum bubbles while you suck him off, completely drunk, head dizzy and body fuzzy as he records you almost mindlessly salivating over him.

“say hi to Shigaraki f’me, pretty, little bastard is gonna love seeing you all horned up and slutty~”

he also shotguns his blunt/pipe/bong hits to you—never lets you hit in your own

dabi loves it if you sit on his lap during this too, a rare domestic scene of you both just vibing and grinding, soft praises and touches that feel unreal coming from him

the he ruins it by slapping your ass and making you cook him dinner

wait i had a funny idea hold on

“babe can we please go see my momma today— it’s just that it’s m’birthday and you made me skip it last year..”

“pretty, that bitch hates my ass, why would we go see someone who hates us?” (notice he says ‘us’ anyways)

[cut to momma glaring at dabi the entire time they’re over and throwing shoes at him once he opens his fucking mouth]

kay that’s all for now ig

wait

sometimes when you’re falling asleep you can hear him obsessively rambling and mumbling abt how much he loves you, how disgusting everyone else alive is, how he’d kill anyone who dared talk to-LOOK at you, how he thinks you’re such a soft, beautiful little thing that he just wants to protect but oh how he fucking loves ruining your angel wings.

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samstersv · 10 months

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“jamie help!”

-in which jamie drysdale saves the day for his girlfriend

a scream was heard in the early hours of the morning in the apartment both trevor zegras and jamie drysdale shared. the previous night, y/n decided to sleep over to spend more time with her loving boyfriend, jamie.

the two slept peacefully in his bedroom while trevor slept in his own. everything was going fine until y/n woke up early merely by accident. she stared at her boyfriend intently, taking in his adorable features and thinking about his personality she instantly fell in love with.

then, like all mornings go, y/n felt thirsty, so she placed a soft kiss on jamie’s cheek and quietly got out of bed, tip toeing to the kitchen/dining room. her feet felt cold against the floor and the change of scenery was felt against her bare legs as she walked in nothing but jamie’s shirt and undergarments.

y/n walked over to the sink where she went to grab a cup but something deceived her. she gasped and let out a scream as she barely spared a glance at the cockroach and quickly ran a decent amount of space away from where it was placated. “jamie help!” y/n screamed in hopes that her boyfriend would wake up and save her from the evil monster on the counter.

quick footsteps were heard from both trevor and jamie’s rooms as both guys stepped out full on ready to beat someone up, little did they know all they needed to do was kill a roach.

“baby what’s wrong?” jamie ran out tiredly yet so awake just for his girl. when he saw there was no immediate danger, he let his guard down and so did trevor who could barely keep his eyes open but didn’t mind helping his best friend’s girl whom he also begun to grow really close with.

tears prickled in the corner of y/n’s eyes as she made nervous steps in place and grabbed onto the biceps of her boyfriend “there’s a roach jamie.”

at that sentence, jamie relaxed his shoulders and kissed y/n’s forehead. “go sit on the couch n/n, me and trevor will kill it.”

“and trevor?” trevor restated in third person.

“yes, and you. uhm.. give me your slides.” jamie watched in the corner of his eye as his adorable, loving girlfriend scrunched her toes and sat on the couch. when he looked to where y/n said it was, he noticed that the roach had moved so he had to move quicker.

“why the fuck am i giving you my slides jimmy.” trevor slightly panicked but without hesitation went to grab his slides that where laying next to the couch. he gave one shoe to jamie and kept the other securely in his hand.

jamie slowly crept closer to the roach. he looked practically dead-eye at the thing that made his girlfriend cry and panic and it looked right back at him. jamie swung at the bug, expecting it to be a quick and easy job, but oh he thought very wrong.

instead of simply deciding to accept it’s fate, the cockroach decided to fight back. the bug ran away as soon as trevor’s slide hit the counter where it was supposed to be. the bug then scurried down the counter and onto the floor where it ran straight towards trevor.

trevor’s eyes widened in fear and he ran possibly the fastest he’s ever ran before as he and y/n both screamed when he joined her—but standing—on the couch. y/n pulled her feet up onto the couch and held her arms around her legs in comfort.

“little fucker is trying to get me!” trevor screamed in fear. jamie tried his oh-so-hardest to not stop everything right there and burst out laughing at his best friend.

when the roach found out it had nowhere to go, it decided to attempt to scurry to a wall where it would make its escape. but thankfully, in all his boyfriend-ness, jamie ran to the roach and slammed trevor’s (expensive) slide right down on it’s body, and just for good measure, and to assure to both his girlfriend and best friend that it was dead, he slapped it once more.

he quickly went to grab a paper towel where he picked up the dead bug (and tried not to cringe at the feeling through the paper towel) and threw the remains out in the garbage before going to his girlfriend to comfort her.

like a koala, y/n was picked up by jamie and she securely wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. she too laid her head in the crook of his neck and mumbled “thank you for waking up to do this, you too trevor.”

with her words being just loud enough for trevor to hear, with a shaky breath, trevor said, “it was all jamie but you’re welcome n/n” he awkwardly chuckled as he finally got off the couch.

that’s when—while still holding his girl—jamie doubled down and bursted out laughing at his best friend. at some point he began to gasp for air and both y/n and trevor joined him in laughing. “that shit chased you.” jamie died of laughter, making his girlfriend and best friend die at both his laughter and the reason for it.

“why’d you come out here this early either way?” trevor asked y/n after the trio’s laughter died down.

“i wanted water.” y/n sighed, she now noticed how dry her mouth was.

trevor walked over to the sink to get water for y/n and then handed it to the girl. he then carefully and cautiously took the other slide from jamie “okay you guys go back to bed, i’m gonna clean this shit so fucking good right now.” his words earned a laugh from both jamie and y/n before they said their good nights and headed back to jamie’s room.

“thank you for saving me my knight in shining armor.”

jamie kissed his girlfriend sweetly “you’re welcome baby.”

y/n — your name

n/n — nickname

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babymochibeargyu · 12 days

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규를 도와주세요(Please Save Gyu)

POV:bf gyu hates bugs but you’re scared of them even more(ft.Yeonjun as your brother) (examples are sadly true story events😭)

genre:fluff,crack,light-hearted

warning:slight swearing

wc: ~780

As we all know your bf Gyu hates bugs and guess what, you do too! You’ve been afraid of them since young.

Roaches, lizards, bugs, flies. You can list them and it’ll never end. Even butterflies. At this point, you just hate anything small that flies.

It’s because when you were younger you had so many bad experiences with all these pests that you had PTSD whenever you saw one.

One time when you were about to throw rubbish away, and after you opened the trash bin, you suddenly felt something crawl around your neck.

You screamed. Luckily your dad was nearby that he swiped it off of your neck… it was a fucking cockroach. You were screaming hysterically and wanted to cry in that moment because what the fuck. You just wanted to throw rubbish but ended up with some creepy crawly on you.

Another incident was when you were walking, minding your own business when suddenly you heard buzzing sounds beside your ear. After that, your ears have become very sensitive, because you were afraid that those bugs that could fly, would end up in your ear.

And It doesn’t help that both you and Gyu are in your apartment right now… when this unfortunate event had to happen. It was for real a life-or-death situation.

Gyu and you were about to leave your apartment to head out for lunch when suddenly you saw something brown and small just run past you near the entrance of the door.

It was a fucking cockroach. You quickly ran to Gyu, because there was no way in hell that you were going to catch it.

But after Gyu heard about it, you guys were both off the floor and stepping on the couch as your protection. Not wanting to accidentally step on it.

“We’re doomed, how are we going to catch it.” You said to Gyu.

“You do it Y/N. I can’t even go close to it to capture it. There’s no way.” Gyu said while hugging you tightly not wanting to fall off the couch accidentally.

Please you both were so scared. You thought you were bad, but then you had your bf. Gyu was screaming his lungs out at this point.

You really couldn’t do it either, so you ended up calling someone, hoping that they could save you and Gyu.

“Your mighty savior is here.” You heard your apartment door open.

“Yeonjun Hyung. Please save us.” Gyu said.

“That is why I’m here.”

“You called him?” Gyu asked you.

“Yes if not we wouldn’t have been able to leave this apartment.” You replied.

A few minutes later~

“Okay, I caught it. Wanna see it?” You heard Yeonjun say.

“NOOO!” You both immediately shouted.

You heard Yeonjun said “Too bad!” And starts coming closer to you guys but ends up going to Gyu to show him the cockroach that he just caught.

Gyu jumped off the couch and started running around the apartment while Yeonjun ended up chasing him into a corner.

Yeonjun then stopped cause Gyu literally couldn’t run anywhere else.

“Bro it’s literally in the container it’s not gonna fly out,” Yeonjun said teasing Gyu.

And Gyu just plopped himself down at the corner of the wall. He can’t believe that Yeonjun just chased him around with the cockroach. He was in disbelief, to say the least(last pic).

“Anyways imma get going, I paused my game with Soobin to come to save you Y/N, and you too Gyu. Bye, little sis.”

“Thank you, bro.” And with that Yeonjun left the apartment.

After he left, the apartment was quiet. You wondered what happened to Gyu, so you got off the couch and saw that Gyu was still at the corner where Yeonjun chase him into.

He looked like he was still startled by what happened.

So you squat down right in front of him and give him a peck on the lips. That was enough to bring him back.

“Next time let’s not call Yeonjun, he always teases me and not you,” Gyu said.

“What can I say, I’m his sis, he used to chase me around with the pests he caught in the past. I guess he does that to you now because your reactions are so funny.”

“Well, I don’t like it,” Gyu said.

“Then what are we going to do? Are you gonna learn to catch those pests instead?” you asked Gyu.

“If it means that I won’t get chased down by it, then yes, I’ll try to face my fears for you, but mostly for me so that I don’t get harassed like today.”

“Okay, whatever you say you big baby. Be my knight and shining armor in the next pest chase.”

masterlist

This was literally sitting in my drafts from when i first started writing my first post on 9May, and i just kept on dreading to write it because idk whether you guys will like it but decided to write it anyways since i got inspired by the photos above.

But yes mostly crack behavior with little bit of fluff, i can just imagine the screams frm Gyu😭. Hope you guys enjoyed this, give it a like if you laughed and follow if you wanna see more stories from me hehe. See you guys in the next one 🥹🫶🏻🤍

taglist - @moagyuu @heyanonymous123 @yelshin

#babymochibeargyu #please save gyu #divider by agsthv #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu #beomgyu soft hours #beomgyu x reader #txt beomgyu #txt x reader #choi beomgyu fluff #beomgyu x you #beomgyu crack hours #beomgyu crack #crack #crack fic

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callsign-bunnie · 8 months

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also to piggyback off my last ask: what is everyone’s job ? like i get that simon alejandro and alex are line cooks nd rudy is a server and valeria is a bartender but idk anyone else’s im sorry if this is annoying i should know everyone’s jobs i binged all of the au the other day lol

also my user used to be sunshiinegaz but changed it back to my original user idk if you even noticed me before lmao but just in case you did

Uhhhh, I'll be honest, you might have been sunshiinegaz when I was focused on other things so I wasn't really on tumblr! But i do recognize your current user! You're in my notes a lot! Anyway, new character list because I have become incredibly attached to a lot of the operators and are adding them to this AU (more tweets will be coming, I just need to do some shit)

Okay so, you are right, Alejandro, Ghost, and Alex are linecooks. Koenig used to be as well, but O'Conor has opened a restaurant right across the street, so now he's a linecook there. There's essentially three workplaces right now:

Shadow Supply Company Unquatrun Restaurant Kortac Pub

I'll go through each company and list employees

Shadow Supply Company:

Graves obviously is owner. He supplies to both Unquatrun because his husband in Alejandro's nephew and Lucas will tear him a new one if he doesn't, and Kortac Pub.

Velikan and Arthur both drive the supply trucks. Arthur to Unquatrun and Velikan to Kortac Pub. Arthur lets Merlin ride in the truck and the linecooks adore that dog, it's the best part of their week at this rate.

Oz and Mila work in... um... illegal supplies, but they also do quality testing and generally just bug both restaurants when they have nothing to do, which is most of the time.

I would put Velikan and Arthur both younger than expected at 20, Oz and Mila are both 26. Graves is 28, Lucas is 22.

Unquatrun Restaurant:

Alejandro, Alex, and Ghost are back to being the only linecooks. They're all 25. Alejandro and Ghost are actually only a month apart with Alejandro being a month older. Alex is two days older than Ghost, yes they jokingly call him the baby. I'm also introducing Reyes, who is a linecook, and he's also 25, but still older than Ghost, as he's a January baby

Rudy, Gaz, and Farah are full servers and are the main servers, though Laswell occasionally helps out when it's really busy. Rudy and Farah are full time, with full pay as well as tips, and Gaz is full time but relies mostly on tips as he doesn't really need the income and he'd rather that go back into the restaurant, so he takes the minimum they have to pay him. Farah and Rudy are both 24, but Gaz is 23. (I fucked up on the profiles and I'm changing some stuff)

Originally, Valeria and Horangi were bartenders, but both have quit and went to Kortac Pub. However! I have introduced Chuy, who is now a bartender, and he's 24. In fact, he and Rodolfo are almost twins by being one day apart. Laswell also helps out the bar when it gets busy and Rodolfo bartends on bar nights, and after they close the dining room and switch to bar seating only.

Soap and Roach are both hosts, full time. Soap has trouble reading the menus, and the POS is in a dyslexic friendly font. Roach is selectively mute because of autism, so it's just better for them to be hosts. Soap will bartend but only if ABSOLUTELY necessary, because reading tickets is a bitch for him. That receipt font is horrible, by the way, 0/10. Anyway, Soap is 24, and Roach is 22.

Price and Laswell co-own the restaurant and they've basically split duties between them, with Laswell running the entire front and Price handling the back. At first, they thought this might change as Laswell would have more duties, but the linecooks, especially with Reyes added, are a massive handful so... no, it didn't change. Both are 38.

Kortac Pub:

They're a bit smaller of a restaurant since they're a pub, I don't have emotional attachment to many of the Kortac members, but Roze and Koenig are both linecooks. They work semi well together. Roze is 26, Koenig is 25.

Horangi and Valeria still bartend, but Horangi will also be a server if necessary, since they only have Calisto and Stiletto as servers at the moment. Valeria isn't nice enough to the customers to be a server. Horangi is 25, Valeria is 24.

There is no official Host right now, but Nikto and Mace are both bouncers but only on the weekend.

I have put together so many new world details about this damn fucking AU so I am begging you guys to ask me more about it

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 11 months

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tuesday again 7/11/23, timezone change edition

the last time i wrote one of these things, i was not quite fully packed up in ma. now, i am technically temporarily homeless in houston, bc the apartment i originally signed on was completely unlivable. crashing in an acquaintance's guest room for a bit while i have a very bad time with apartment hunting round 2

i have lived in south florida, staten island, and various shithole student housing. i understand seasonal bugs in hot places and things such as different kinds of roaches and palmetto bugs. when i say that apartment had the worst roach infestation i've ever seen i fucking mean it. in theory i will get my full deposits back, but they're taking their sweet fucking time about it.

but having that full yes-i-know-about-seasonal-roaches conversation with new acquaintances and leasing agents takes too long so i've resorted to saying it had a horrific bedbug problem, which everyone seems to go Oh Okay Yeah Reasonable For You To Leave much more quickly.

listening

a lot of early aughts dance pop standards, to chase away the agonies as i drive to and from apartments only to get ghosted, find they were rented a week ago, or find that they look absolutely nothing like the pictures. i was really torn on which britney song to pick for this week until my sister sent me Twin Flame by Maude Latour, which i can only describe as "douchebag get the girl back song but for lesbians". spotify

also how do we like the "featured link from bandcamp or soundcloud with additional spotify link" format? in an ideal world i would buy all my music directly from the artists but realistically i use spotify 90% of the time. i don't know what your life is like, tell me if this is helpful or not.

reading

my best friend made sad faces at me until i read The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary, and it was a little nice to see someone else's dire housing situation get resolved neatly and with thematic consistence in several hundred pages. it was also nice to text her snippets with "WHAT?????" every so often. this is a reading experience i don't have very often bc our current reading tastes don't overlap even a little bit.

i don't have much to say about it bc i didn't have particularly strong feelings and don't really read mainstream straight romance, so i can't point out what this did differently or well compared to its peers. if nothing else, it was a fluffy bit of distraction, and i think that's kind of the point?

(image from Tor) also read Saad Z. Hossein's Kundo Wakes Up novella in a waffle house while eating some of the best scrambled eggs i've ever had in my life.

this novella was the closest thing i've ever read to "aging English professor has an affair" without actually containing any of those elements. generally i enjoy his work, but this was sort of a way to check up and tie off many characters from previous works with a sort of light frosting of "my wife left me and i don't know why [ rot13:v pna znxr fbzr thrffrf ohg gurer vf ab zbzrag bs frys-ernyvmngvba, bapr ur svaqf uvf jvsr ur whfg perrcf ba ure sebz nsne naq nsgre qrgrezvavat fur'f abg jvgu nalbar arj znxrf gur gerzraqbhf fnpevsvpvny qrpvfvba gb yrnir ure nybar op fur'f zhpu unccvre jvgubhg uvz. gurer vf ab zbzrag bs frys-ernyvmngvba nobhg jul fur zvtug unir yrsg uvz. xhaqb arire trgf bhg bs uvf bja shpxvat urnq bapr.]"

while The Gurkha and the Lord of Thursday novella (TREMENDOUS) and Cyber Mage book (fun but with some dire pacing issues) are fairly standalone, i cannot imagine you'd get much out of Kundo Wakes Up if you haven't read the other two. for some reason none of the libraries i have access to have his other book Djinn City, so we'll have to procure that elsewhere.

watching

the dnd movie, the day after i broke my lease on the roach apartment. i don't remember a ton about this movie. do generally like a heist. michelle rodriguez was hot

playing

genshin. listen. it is a free and familiar way to turn my brain off by doing open world exploration and puzzles but CRUCIALLY! most of it is completely new to me. i have not played this game in a year and a half. i have not played this game since right before enkanomiya. there was no chasm. there was no Sumeru. i have absolutely no idea what’s happening lore-wise.

i pulled for the fancy ice claymore lady and got a catboy archer (at least i think it is a catboy? the ears do give a pharaoh hound vibe... he is distinct from the extant dogboy archer). not terrible but not my vibe.

youtube

i have been enjoying the shit out of the temporary summer event carnival space. they really did pull out several stops by introducing a ton of genuinely interesting and innovating little new mechanics and mini games. delightful!

making

altering the worst shorts ive ever seeeeeeeeen with a demure little two-inch side slit on both legs bc my thighs simply will not quit. mens shorts are so much better than womens shorts in nearly every way except for the catastrophic physical fit issues.

when i got ghosted by two different apartments on saturday i bought myself a spoon ring so chunky it makes my other chunky rings look positively delicate by comparison. not very comfy to drive in but fine to wear while tippy tappying on the spreadsheets

a girl i saw for one singular awful date in 2016 called my hands "coarse but honest" and i think about that every time my hands are in a photo. what did that even fucking MEAN, [REDACTED]?

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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fixfoxnox · 1 year

Note

I know its been a minute and I know you're busy so really whenever you get a chance but more amina?? Please I love that one so much (really tho I need to stress that it is whenever you can get to it, I can be patient when I want to and I enjoy all of your writing (I just reread learn to share bc ahrksgaksgaka))

I've actually been kinda working in the background on this (even though it isn't very long lol) so its no big deal for me to finish it up for you guys!

The next one will probably take longer since its going to be straight up filth sjdjbfhdhd

Ghost watched the blank look on Soap's face, amusement wracking his system at the clear shock that was running through the other man. It was quite adorable to see the red that slowly rose up his neck and to his cheeks.

In his arms, Roach struggled lightly against his hold again. Ghost only gave him another wiggle to get him to stay still. His companion looked up at him with a pout before pointing at Soap, "Look! You broke him!"

Ghost scoffed, "I didn't break him, he just needs a moment, Bug."

Roach gave a grumble in response, "He wouldn't need a minute if I had his dick in my mouth already." Ghost shook him again in response, the little squeak his Anima let out at the movement pulled a grin to his lips.

Roach was an insatiable little demon, he knew that well enough. He'd been at the receiving end of his lust more than enough times. The shorter man was more than willing to corner him anywhere and everywhere for a quick go at each other.

He'd found himself pressed up against a wall in the locker room numerous times, his pants shoved to the ground with a hot mouth fixing itself over his cock and skilled hands fondling at his balls or using their grip on his hips to pull him closer. At one point Roach had come to him while he was in the gym, walking over and plopping down firmly in his lap while he was at one of the weightlifting benches. He'd nearly dropped the weight he was working with when Roach started palming him through his sweatpants, his Anima's own cock already out as he stroked himself quickly. Hell, Roach had even forced him into a closet on a stealth mission at one point because his hands "looked too fucking good against that gun." He hadn't been let out until he'd made his Anima spill twice with only his fingers to pleasure him.

He knew his lover was insatiable. Thats why he'd pulled him off of Soap. As excited as the thought of watching his Anima take apart Soap piece by piece made him, he knew that they needed to do things right. He and Roach wanted this to be a more permanent situation, they couldn't rush into that.

He gave Soap another few moments, remaining patient even as Roach gave little huff and puffs of annoyance in his arms. If Soap said yes, if he wanted this, then Ghost would let Roach go. With supervision of course, he couldn't just let the insatiable little thing do whatever he wanted, poor Soap might not be able to handle it. He was sure the man in front of him wasn't a virgin, but he doubted he'd ever been with someone like Roach. An Anima had a great deal of strength and great deal of stamina and once Roach fully started, it would be hard to get him to stop.

"Johnny?" He finally asked after a few minutes. He was a patient man, but Soap's blank staring had been going on for several minutes now and was beginning to border on concerning. "If you don't want this," he hesitated, anxiety rising up in his chest, "You can just say that. It won't change anything between us."

His words seemed to finally snap Soap out of wherever his mind had gone. The man looked up at them with wide eyes, just staring for a few moments as his face went delightfully red. "Oh," Roach whined in his arms, "That's so fucking cute." Ghost had to agree with him. That was fucking adorable. Roach's words only seemed to make Soap blush redder.

"Um," the man started, clearing his voice as one of his hands came up to the back of his neck, "are the two of you, I mean, are you sure? You want me?"

"I want you," Roach started, "Simon wants you, you want Simon, and, based on the way you've been trying to get a look at me for weeks, I'd assume you want me too."

Soap seemed to choke on the air he tried to breathe. Amusement filled Ghosts chest, warming him as Soap sputtered, "You noticed that?"

Roach gave him a wicked grin, his tone turning teasing as he responded, "Of course I noticed. That silly tutorial you followed was hard not to notice," he snickered a bit, ducking his head into Simon's chest to hide his laughter as clear embarrassment burned on Soap's face. "Don't worry," he said finally, turning back to face him with a coo, "If you say yes then you can see me whenever you want. However you want."

Ghost had to roll his eyes, only Roach would tease the man like that before essentially asking him if he wanted to date and fuck afterward. His Anima could be ridiculous at times. "Well," Ghost tilted his head at Soap. He had to admit, Roach was ridiculous, but he was just as eagar as him to hear Soap's answer, "What do you think? If you need some time, that's alright to, we can come back to this later."

"No!" Soap's voice rang out quickly making Ghost raise an eyebrow at him from under the mask. Soap couldn't see it, but it was clear to see that he picked up on the questioning look. He squirmed uncomfortably where he was sitting for a moment, pulling another mutter from Roach about how cute he was. "I want to." He ran his hands along his jeans, his shakey voice giving away his nerves, "If the two of you will have me, then yes."

Ghost could feel happiness blossom in his chest and he could feel a similar excitement and joy radiating off of his Anima in his arms. Roach started squirming in his hold, once again trying to get over to Soap as Ghost held him back. "This is good," Ghost said to Soap, "As you can see, Roach is very excited about it."

Soap gave a loud laugh at the same time that Roach slapped his arm. "Let me go!" Roach insisted with a whine, "He said we could have him."

"In a relationship, Bug." Ghost reminded him, "Ask permission for what you want." He pulled his mask up, taking it off and tossing it away. He gave a quick glance to Soap, noting that the other man was watching them, him particularly, with red seeping down his neck. Ghost held his gaze as he pressed slow kisses to Roach's neck, pulling a slight moan from his Anima and a gasp from Soap. "Go on, ask him," He spoke again, louder this time as he pulled away from Roach.

Roach squirmed in his hold, but met Soap's eyes from across the room. "Can I please," he batted his lashes at the other man, "please, please ride your cock?"

Ghost gave a chuckle as Soap gaped at his Anima, it was clear that the man hadn't expected him to be so forward with his request. Still, he managed to respond fairly quickly through his shock, tilting his head back with a tempting groan before responding, "Fuck yes."

With that settled, Ghost released Roach, watching in amusement as his Anima scrambled across the room to shove Soap to lay back against the bed. He straddled him quickly, his hands slipping under his shirt as he rolled his hips down onto the other man. "Finally," Roach tilted his head back with a happy little sigh before a mischievous grin took over his face. He shot a Ghost a quick look, batting his eyelashes in an oh so tempting way before turning to hover over Soap. "I am going to fucking ruin you baby."

#you asked luke #anima au #gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #ghost x roach #john soap mactavish #ghostroach #soap x roach #ghost x soap #soaproach #soapghost #ghostroachsoap #soaproachghost

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atinyladybug-daydreams · 1 year

Text

Agent Yoric Headcanons

yoric headcanons that for some reason I never fucking did despite him being one of my top blorbos-scrungly hybrid.

Heads up. It's long because I have a lot of lore and thoughts about him.

For some reason, Yoric is hard to perceive. Unless he's the one calling you or standing directly in front of you, it's hard to notice his presence. He's like a walking anti-memetic.

Because of this, he's a really, really good agent for undercover missions, stake outs and espionage.

The only reason why he was found by the Foundation was that he accidentally got into one of their vans and while escaping through a door, walked right into someone.

His difficulty to perceive also extends to David's clairvoyance. When David tries reading into Yoric, all he gets is very muddled and darkened vision with nothing identifiable.

Despite being a mere level 2, Yoric knows a lot more than his rank. The nepotism in the Bright Family is a factor but also because higher ups favour sending Yoric to gain intel due to his ability.

Jack and Clef are the only people who can fully perceive Yoric like normal. Jack because he functions outside of the universe (SCP-963 reasons) and Clef because he's a Reality Anchor.

Yoric also has a lot of skills that he picked up while trying to blend into a crowd. He can speak over 8 different languages, play 5 different musical instruments and can also do acrobat and juggle flaming knives.

Really into entomology and insects! He keeps a few bugs around his apartment. He's got an ant farm, 3 different tarantulas, a scorpion, a giant centipede and some roaches.

He also has taxidermy insect collections. Specifically beetles.

Yoric wants to keep some bees but they're not really suitable for a two-bedroom apartment in the middle of a city so it's something he's looking forward to when he gets his own house.

He's tall and very skinny. It's a wonder how he gets into places, especially the vents, with those fucking noodle arms and legs.

Despite his knowledge and skills, this man has nothing in his brain. It's empty. He's very stupid and reckless. Zero braincells. Gets into trouble a lot. On accident though!

Has a pretty big beetle tattoo on his back (wings out and coloured). It was the first beetle he ever caught and raised. Sadly it's dead and couldn't be taxidermied so Yoric got another way to remember his first bug.

He's Asian descendant and mostly human. There's a theory one of his parents is of a fae which is why he's hard to perceive (the whole name-identity-curse-thing.) (This is totally not because of my OC Not at all. Nope. Nu-uh. I definitely don't have an OC here which explains his thingy. Nope. What are you talking about?/j)

Family cryptid. Not as much as TJ but still a cryptid. Also his eyes slightly glow in the dark. Slightly. Yes, it means he can see better in the dark too.

He was actually raised in the Chaos Insurgency where he met Claire once. That's how he found out he's part of the family. He then left the Chaos Insurgency around his late teens and went around before joining the Foundation in his 20s

It's not that he's distant with Jack, his grandfather. I mean, he visits and helps him frequently and they're definitely on good/casual terms but there's this weird gap between them that they don't really want to work on. They both have issues. Well technically, the whole family have issues.

He's chatty with Sera and doesn't mind having her around too. Thinks she's refreshing from the other Brights and they have an understanding on being raised by an Organisation.

Has a particular sharp eye on shiny objects. Can spot pennies on the ground from far away and tries to get his hands on many shiny things. His jacket and coat has a lot of metal and enamel pins on the inside.

#Alt rambles #Agent Yoric #Agent yoric headcanons #scp #scp headcanons #bright family #sera bright #jack bright #my brainrot on this dude runs deep #i am violently shaking him like a maracca #i am also tearing and chewing him like a squeaky toy #tw.bugs mention

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notsocheezy · 26 days

Text

Brain Curd #49

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please enjoy.

Government Woman walked the halls of CIA headquarters, her high heels clacking on the marble floors. Her arrival announced itself to all who happened to be around, which was really terrible practice for a spy and out of the dress code, not to mention the potential for rolled ankles. But no one ever bothered to tell her to wear flats.

She entered Boss Man’s office, where he was already sitting at attention and prepared to listen. Apart from the magazine he was in the middle of reading.

“Boss Man,” she said. “I need to speak with you about Government Man.”

Boss Man licked his finger and turned the page. “Of course, GW. Go ahead.”

“He hasn’t left headquarters since we were infiltrated. I am concerned.”

Boss Man giggled.

“His car is collecting spider webs in the parking lot. Some of the spiders are venomous.”

“His car, right. His car. I hear you loud and clear.”

“Look,” she pulled out a jar with holes poked through the lid. “I have collected samples. This one has rings on its legs. I have named him ‘Gregory’.”

Boss Man stifled a laugh. “Great work, G-Dub.”

“What are you reading, Boss Man?”

He cleared his throat. “Important, uh, government business. Required reading for all CIA leadership.”

“In… MAD Magazine?”

“Yes. Yes, it’s coded. A coded message. In this Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions article. All very legitimate and important.” He looked back at the page and laughed sharply. “This one is very important.”

“What does it say?”

He pulled the magazine close to himself. “Get your own! I mean…” He closed it and put it in his desk drawer. “It is above your security clearance. What were you saying?”

“Government Man is -”

“Right, right! His car! It’s filthy! Infested with roaches!”

“Spiders.”

“Bugs. So I will send him on an assignment to get it cleaned.” He pressed a button on his desk and spoke into a potted plant with a microphone sticking out of it. “Government Man, ID #329, please report to my office.”

Government Woman had her head tilted forty-five degrees to the side, like a confused wild animal.

“We bought these spy plants in bulk to save money. They make effective intercom microphones, it turns out.”

Government Man slunk into the room, dark bags under his eyes and a candy bar wrapper stuck in his hair. His tie was loose and his collar was long since bereft of starch, but distinctly not bereft of mustard stains from the Hot Dog on a Stick in the food court. He stabilized himself on the doorframe.

“What… uh…” GM struggled to find the words. “You… wanted? Me?” He turned to look at GW. “Hello.”

She waved slowly. He flinched.

“Government Man,” Boss Man said. “I have a very important assignment for you. You must infiltrate the local automatic car wash.”

Government Man gave a sloppy salute and nearly fell over. “I will drive my car there so that it is less suspicious.”

“Smart thinking,” Boss Man replied.

“Are you sure he should be driving in his current state?” Government Woman plucked the candy bar wrapper from his hair. “He could get hurt.”

“Woah…” Government Man looked at the piece of garbage now in her hand. “Magic.”

“Government Man, have you had anything to drink in the past five hours?”

“No, not even water.”

Boss Man looked Government Woman in the eyes. “He sounds perfectly sober to me.”

“Please,” Government Woman pleaded. “Allow me to drive the car.”

Government Man seemed to be reacting to a fly buzzing around his head, despite there not being one. He regained the ability to focus for a moment and replied.

“Yes, you can… do whatever… Is there any chocolate left on that wrapper?”

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miiracleboys · 1 year

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I posted 5,143 times in 2022

That's 1,627 more posts than 2021!

336 posts created (7%)

4,807 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@itachiyamaas

@emosuna

@transrightsyamaguchi

@kenmasdysphoriahoodie

@theirtheretheyre

I tagged 5,129 of my posts in 2022

#hinata shouyou - 782 posts

#kageyama tobio - 529 posts

#oikawa tooru - 525 posts

#bokuto koutarou - 520 posts

#riko.txt - 429 posts

#akaashi keiji - 418 posts

#miya atsumu - 407 posts

#kuroo tetsurou - 389 posts

#gif - 383 posts

#tsukishima kei - 370 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#like he’s still tall but suddenly in reference to his teammate’s he’s ‘’stocky’’ instead of ‘’built like an artillery tower’’ bsjfjsnfk

My Top Posts in 2022:

okay we’ve talked about akaashi and udai and makki being all at least mildly pathetic in the timeskip but what about atsumu. yes he’s a pro athlete but his jokes never land, no one listens to him, he embarrasses himself in front of teammates and fans alike, and then he ruminates about it for forever until the only thing he wants to do is crawl into a hole and never come out. he’s on tv all the time and still gets mistaken for his chef brother, whose restaurant he sometimes goes to to have semi-public freak-outs. one of the few people that can instill true fear in him is a rice farmer. and it’s hilarious.

286 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

fic recs 5 :)

more cock, fewer roaches. please. by Gray_Herring | M | 30.9K

sakuatsu. not as horny as the title suggests, i swear. sakusa’s apartment is being fumigated for bugs, so he stays at atsumu’s for a few days. actually very sweet and made me want to melt—sometimes Being Known is not such a mortifying ordeal.

In the Closet (and not in that way) by Hihoneyimdead | G | 4.4K

sakuatsu, vaguely american setting because of the au. atsumu is in marching band, sakusa is in color guard, and osamu locked them in a storage closet together for an hour. funny and also somewhat caters to my specific distaste for the “interfering outsider” trope bc they are full of spite and so am i <3

four ways to fall asleep by precious_red | T | 5.2K

arankita. a year after they’ve graduated, kita stays at aran’s apartment for a few days while they watch interhigh. warm and comforting like hot tea.

Up No More by venxvon | G | 7.7K

arankita are fake-dating, and when the team finds out, aran tries to clear up the story to akagi and oomimi. lots of humor, really fun.

from the earth by charcoalsuns | G | 1.9K

aran-centric character study and a relationship study with inarizaki, with plenty of team-as-family. the bookmark note i left was “ooughghghg,” which about sums it up.

one million rooms & one million vacancies by tothemoon | G | 919

bokuto-centric character study from over the years. i love bokuto so much oh my god you don’t understand he’s so important to me—

a little bit of chaos by desdemona | G | 2.9K

ushiten, kind of—more gen but with a heavy ushiten seasoning. tendou gets Ideas, and ushijima is an enabler; they’re Guys Being Dudes and semi gets to reluctantly play damage control.

all in due time by rosalyra | T | 8.9K

iwaoi. au where, when you turn 17, you can meet yourself from 10 years in the future. author’s tags say they “just want oikawa to know he’s happy and he made it” and yeah. Yeah.

the art of keeping up by sieges | T | 12.3K

sunaosa. osamu gets suna to help him write a love letter—the premise is inspired by the half of it (2020), which, if you haven’t seen, you should go watch Right Now. this one’s really pretty and whenever i read it i want to yell into the void for a while bc man. Man.

seven days of rain by gabstar | T | 4.4K

akaashi-centric character study and a bokuaka relationship study. bokuto loves the rain, and akaashi comes to find comfort in loving bokuto. mostly fluff and wonderfully written; feels like racing someone in the rain and laughing until your cheeks hurt. god. THEM.

when i get home by blessings | T | 4.5K

iwaoi. a series of phone calls over the years, each made to the other. humor, fluff, a little bit of angst—they love each other so much wagh

home, and how we built ours by orphan account | T | 2.9K

iwaoi move into an apartment together, and even though the place is a wreck, it’s theirs, and it’s home.

send your cutest delivery boy by hcjime | T | 4K

iwaoi. au where oikawa just wants to order a pizza, makki Interferes in the form of inputting the special instruction of “send your cutest delivery boy,” and iwaizumi happens to be the titular delivery boy. funny and sweet :)

308 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

fic recs 3

In Another Castle by thehoyden | E | 19K

kuroken move in together after they both graduate. domestic and sweet; They Are In Love.

Richer than milk, sweeter than honey by redroseinsanity | T | 3.6K

kuroken, fae au. kuroo bargains with kenma for the first time as a child and then keeps going back as time passes. some light horror elements, but by virtue of being them, they love each other a lot. straight up Vibes.

how to win at speed dating by Mooifyourecows | T | 7.2K

daisuga. daichi loses a bet with oikawa, and as punishment he has to take part in a speed-dating event, where he ends up meeting suga. i laughed out loud here a few times. the back-and-forth banter here is fantastic and daisuga’s dynamic is so good.

eggceeding eggspectstions by asyncrhony | G | 1.9K

the msby 4 and the schweiden adlers trio have an egg-eating contest. short and silly and maintains really fun character dynamics.

Three Stories by bumblebeesknees | G | 4.9K

iwaoi. oikawa gets a confession from one of the kids he works with and it spurs him on to make a confession of his own to iwaizumi. very soft and with lovely aftermath.

This Is for Your Own Good by metisket | T | 6.3K

daiyuisuga, sort of a suga character study featuring a michimiya-suga friendship and kagehina Causing Problems. funny and actually everything i’ve ever wanted in a daiyuisuga fic.

we happy few by owlinaminor | T | 1.3K

shiratorizawa-centric; a series of snapshots from shiratorizawa’s time together compiled by tendou. the bookmark note i left on this one was “WEEPS INTO MY HANDS” and. yeah. Yeah. this one is also illustrated!

the art of reaping what you sow by trapavoid | G | 5.4K

tsukkiyama and kagehina. tsukishima gets invested in kagehina’s bizarre will-they-won’t-they for reasons that are Definitely Not Projection and in doing so comes to Realizations about his feelings about yamaguchi. his voice in this is fantastic and the whole fic is really funny.

Your Money And/Or Your Life by suspiciousflashlight | T | 11K

suga pov. daisuga are basically married and play it up to benefit financially, [john mulaney voice] no other reason. their dynamic and characterizations here are absolute gold. lots of humor and wonderfully domestic. also features tanakiyo :)

Ask A Stupid Question by darkmagicalgirl | G | 2K

ennofuta. ennoshita, yahaba, shirabu, and futakuchi, as captains of their respective teams, are interviewed on tv and futakuchi decides to be a menace about it, partially for the sake of it, partially to get a reaction out of ennoshita. this one made me laugh!

better days to find by addandsubtract | T | 6.6K

ushiten. tendou is a witch and the fic explores, to an extent, his relationship with his magic and how he has to keep it under wraps while he continues to support ushijima as a friend and as a pro athlete. this fic is just. cozy. love is stored in the casual intimacy and homemade meals :)

Watermelon Sugar by Hihoneyimdead | T | 4.3K

sakuatsu fantasy au. sakusa is an assassin hired to kill the crown prince of inarizaki, but atsumu is unfortunately both clever and charming and sakusa finds himself, despite his best (?) efforts, charmed. their dynamic here is really fun. features side sunaosa.

a long unbroken light by brella | G | 2.2K

karasuno-centric. ukai watches the crows learn to fly across three summers. ;-;

pointing at the moon by amillionsmiles | G | 3.7K

tsukishima character study and a relationship study with his brother as they grow up, apart, and back together again. the writing is gorgeous and i want to ugly cry every time i read it.

345 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

for a while my question was “how does bokuto have both big brother and little brother energy at the same time” and i think i know the answer. he’s a youngest sibling but he’s also the cool older cousin at every family function that let you play on his phone and taught you how to do a cartwheel and made a competition out of making faces at each other behind the adults’ backs whenever conversation at the table got boring

348 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

fic recs 7!

soda can blues by kitouma | T | 1.6K

pre-relationship osasuna. [annoying little sibling voice] oooooh suna has a cruuuush!

let the river rush in by brella | T | 3.6K

kuroken. kuroo helps kenma retouch his roots. this fic is very beautifully done; it’s about the Pining.

dog days by devote | G | 9.6K

iwaoi relationship study as they grow up together. Holy Shit, my Feelings. the prose and the flow are fantastic here; in the author’s words, “love is stored in the iwaizumi.”

Under Pressure by ghostystarr | G | 8.2K

sakuatsu. bokuto and hinata notice sakusa’s crush on atsumu and decide to take it upon themselves to coach him on how to flirt. all parties involved do an absolutely abysmal job. funny and sweet in equal measure :)

Like An Ocean by kiyala | M | 1.6K

iwaoi. iwaizumi and the shapes his love for oikawa takes over the years. ough.

Sunday morning rain is falling by Hyeyu | T | 1.5K

iwaoi. oikawa goes through some fan mail, iwaizumi loves him, and the two of them spend the morning together in their kitchen. warm and domestic

most people never even get a single high school rival by sulfate | G | 5.2K

team argentina gets an outsiders’ glimpse of iwaoi. this whole fic is, i think, the author’s love letter to oikawa, iwaoi, and the series itself, and MAN is it good. this is another one of my all-time favorites!!

Jump the Gap by fathomfive | G | 1.3K

people don’t like to sit next to aone on the train; futakuchi realizes this one morning and decides to keep him company in all his glory. excellent characterization and a wonderful depiction of their friendship. aone is So important to me.

We’ll Figure That Out When We Get There by fathomfive | G | 2.2K

moniwa runs into a bit of trouble in a train station and the rest of datekou take it upon themselves to help. a delightful read; moniwa is Very tired and datekou’s a team—they have each other’s backs!

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl | T | 61.2K

yahaba character study centered around him, his sexuality, and growing up. some kyouhaba and side iwaoi. MAN was this one good; the pacing, the prose, the depth of the emotions—all incredible. please note that this deals quite a bit with homophobia though

an unlikely duo by miracleboysatori | G | 1.7K

au where yachi goes to shiratorizawa and she and tendou end up bonding and becoming friends. short and sweet ^_^

by jove (we are going to own this thing for sure) by owlinaminor | T | 1.5K

ushiten enjoy their mornings together, and tendou’s a bit of a nerd. domestic and soft.

soft blue by groaninlynch | G | 6K

bokuaka. bokuto finds akaashi’s sketchbook by accident. a very sweet depiction of their dynamic; they like each other so much.

Running Into the Sun by booksong | G | 3.9K

kagehina’s relationship development through a series of their little competitions. they’re so dumb and i love them.

Add New Contact by booksong | G | 8.6K

See the full post

554 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #longish post #i love how 60% of my top tags are fic recs #riko.txt

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clapperboardtalk · 4 months

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JOE'S APARTMENT (1996)

Joe's Apartment (1996): Where Cockroaches Break It Down and Dreams Go Roach Motel

• Title: Joe's Apartment

• Year: 1996

• Genre: Gross-out comedy, musical (yes, really)

• Country: USA (prepare for a wild ride)

Plot Twisting Like a Bug-Leg: Buckle up for a story wilder than a roach rave. Joe, a charmingly clueless fella from Iowa, lands in New York with dreams of...well, something better than sharing his apartment with a million enthusiastic roaches. But these ain't your average creepy crawlies – they sing, dance, and judge his love life with the ferocity of a PTA meeting. Meanwhile, Joe juggles work woes, wooing a lovely gal named Sarah, and dodging his hilariously inept (and strangely pink) landlords. Will true love conquer all, even a roach-infested flat and questionable hygiene? Let's just say the journey is, shall we say, "memorable."

90s Vibes So Strong, They Need Bug Spray: This movie screams 1996 like a slap bracelet in the face. Think neon, think slapdash CGI, think soundtrack straight out of a Blockbuster rental aisle. It's a time capsule of kitsch, cheese, and questionable humor that might leave you misty-eyed for a simpler time (or just reaching for the Pepto-Bismol).

Netizens Divided: Bug Bash or Bust?: Reviews are...mixed. Some hail it as a cult classic, a quirky gem misunderstood by mainstream audiences. Others, well, let's just say they wouldn't share their popcorn with these roaches. It's definitely an acquired taste, like fermented durian candy.

Box Office Blues: Here's the real kicker: this roach-infested romp reportedly cost a cool $13 million to make. But guess how much it crawled back at the box office? A measly $4.6 million. Talk about a box office flop so epic, even the roaches felt the sting. So yeah, the suits weren't exactly thrilled.

My Verdict: 1 Roach Star Out of 5: Look, I appreciate the audacity, the sheer "what were they thinking?" factor. But the humor falls flatter than a squashed roach, the story is thinner than roach wings, and the whole thing feels like a fever dream fueled by questionable substances. Even the dancing roaches, initially charming, wear thin faster than Joe's welcome. This is strictly for those with an iron stomach and a tolerance for cinematic dumpster fires. Watch it if you're:

Desperate for a laugh (no guarantees it will be the right kind)

Conducting research on the effects of questionable filmmaking choices

Allergic to boredom and have access to industrial-strength antacids

Trivial Trivia: Believe it or not, the groundbreaking CGI roach effects in this movie were created using the same engine as Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) and Jurassic Park (1993)! So, while the humor might not hold up, the tech skills were surprisingly ahead of their time (or maybe just roach-ishly adaptable).

Remember, this is just one roach's opinion. Dive in (or don't) at your own peril!

#movie #comedy #musical #RoachPartyGoneWrong #DontQuitYourDayJobJoe #BugginOutAtTheMovies #SoBadItsGoodButMostlyJustBad #90sTimeCapsuleOfCringe

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good-wizard2 · 5 months

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A recounting of my experience with those of the Genus Dermaptera, common name: Earwigs.

Tw: body horror(ish?), bugs, childhood trauma

Does have a happy ending though!

(idk what's up with me tonight but here's a bug story from my childhood! Don't know why I'm putting this here either but y'know!)

When I was a kid I hated earwigs,

You know those little bugs, with the repulsive shiny carapace, beady glinting eyes with the forked tail.

Small yes, but to me they were the most terrifying thing in the world.

They'd sneak in our house, crawl over our tiles and through are rugs, and I also felt like they found me, like they specifically sought me out.

One night, sitting outside of my dad's shitty apartment where you could hear people fighting and yelling at each other, I found one on my shoulder.

Oh boy I screamed when I saw what I had flicked off of me. I started crying then and there even. Because, well, the reason people nickname them ear wigs is because of that ridiculous myth where they crawl in your ears, either to lay their eggs or nestle up, all nice and cozy right beside your brain.

The thought mortified me to say the least and even righting this down now I'm getting goosebumps.

But anyways. That night after what was in my mind a terrifying encounter. I had a nightmare.

In that nightmare I was chained to a filthy mattress in a white room, with only bugs, earwigs, spiders, and I think roaches to be exact, crawling and running all over my skin and hair. Oh how I screamed then, knowing I was trapped with those horrible insects, knowing they were crawling and running through my hair, into my nose, my mouth, my ears, laying their eggs and, just maybe, nestling up close to my brain.

Every time I had this dream, and it was reoccurring, I'd wake up in a cold sweat screaming, running my hands through my hair and pleading not to find the bits of bug I had crushed when tossing and turning.

Of course I never found anything. These were only nightmares, irrational and brought on by the stress of being stuck in that apartment, the only one who felt like the danger was obvious. The only one who felt they knew what hid in the dark and waited for their family to fall asleep.

I'm out of that apartment now, my sibling and my father for the most part safe with me. For a while after we left I still looked at these bugs with disgust, fear, I still got a queasy feeling upon my stomach and for a while I thought it would stay that way.

But then, one day, I found an earwig in my bathroom, I screamed at first, yes, but instead of immediately killing it like I had before, I actually looked at it. It was small, reddish black, with those two barbs on the end of its abdomen. But this time I realized how soft it's eyes looked. It was just a bug and yet there was an innocence in its eyes, fear but also a prayer, pleading to me, it's closest idea of a god, not to kill it, not to extinguish it's life no matter how scared I was by it.

It stood frozen, and waited for a decision to be made. Knowing that everything in its life had built to that moment and soon would fall away to nothingness afterward. In that moment I raised my boot up and... Paused... I realized I didn't want to kill it. It wasn't it's fault I was scared, rather something of my environments doing. Fear those things that can't hurt you, so those things that can can get away with it. A twisted logic but one that my mind had been forced into carrying out in that fearsome apartment.

I dropped my boot, but not on the insect, on a new path. One of research and discovery. I learned about the creature I feared so the thought of it could harm me no more.

Now I look up on the soil with love and familiarity, the bugs, ants, spiders, and even the earwigs were of no more concern to me. We were all just friends, trying to find the safe spaces to hide.

#short story #my writing #not wizard posting #ooc #bugs #tw bugs #tw horror #horror story #horror #true story #poetry

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a-vampire-culturelover · 6 months

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The Insect is Awake- Chapter 1

An Original Fic Idea I had for an oc I made recently named Monty, inspired by The Fly (both movie versions excluding the 80's ones sequel xp)

Monty could feel the resonating sound of his tapping on the coffee table, his usual bagel and Black coffee with only a mere scoop of sugar and a dollop of whipped cream. He had been waiting for ages, since he was born to show what he could to the world. He was closer than ever now, his own invention so high above the heavens, something he wished to obtain since he was a mere worm in the ground. A cough knocked him out of his trance, and he quickly finished up what he had left, a morsel of bagel sticking out of his mouth as he rushed out to his dreams to be come true.

He lived in a nice Home, sure, but the Warehouse he had been using for his experiments in the old abandoned Junkyard his mailman consistintly thought was a sighting ground for some kind of "Mothman". He always scoffed at the idea of a half-man half-bug creature, and much rather liked thinking about his very own invention; A teleportation device, two of them damn smack inside of his own workplace.

On his way in, he made sure to give attention to his pet Cockroach, Honda. Yes he was named after a car, Monty didn't mind that. He remembers his pet cat from when he was 2, the one named Truck that (unfortunately enough) got ran over by a truck. He thought to the two Betta fish his parents got him not knowing they'd tear each other apart in the same tank, the one's he had named Honk and Jeep. Poor things, he was sure they'd love having the sewers beyond the bathroom toilet as a Hearse more than their own fish bowl.

Thinking back to Honda, he gave a little pat on the head to his roach friend, patting hand sanitizer on not even a moment afterward, and stuck the half eaten piece of bagel still somehow in his mouth into the enclosure of his pet. Honda was not a picky cockroach when it came to his feasts of breakfast, lunch, dinner, desserts or snacks, although Cockroaches never pass up a meal regardless of it's rot or stench. Of all the things Monty was proud of regarding his little friend though, he made sure of another thing: He was successful in his experiment to teach Honda how to use the type writer. The little bugger would hop into one letter, and Monty would write it down, and the best sentence Honda had managed was a "SnacksPleez". How touching of the little roach.

Just as Monty cooed about his best friend, he heard a knocking on the Warehouse door. Opening his heart fluttered at the possibility, the knowledge that if all went right, he would be on the cover of a brilliant magazine for his brilliant creation and evolution in science.

It was Carter Drew, a journalist that had contacted him to see how exactly the Teleportation Device he made worked and wanting to document it to the whole world, Monty's beloved audience. Goodness, he remembers the days when he was but a teen when he attempted so many things, and had (while not many views to say the least) a plethora of interested followers who wished to see his works. Now, NOW was his chance he had to take it.

"Why Mr. Drew! I do believe this is the man I talked to on the phone but a day or two ago." He said flamboyantly, making the journalist blush a slight bit.

"Why, of course I am. Do you reckon your Teleporter is in order for my visit?" "Why Mr. Drew, you say that like I intend for you to be the one in it!"

"Was...that not the plan?" Carter asked curiously, having worked himself up for the idea of his body being torn apart by the atoms and reattached at the seams in an entirely different location. He heard a chuckle from Monty as the man of the hour streaked a gloved hand through his naturally slick, greased up hair and led Mr. Drew right in.

Monty gestured a finger towards his dear buddy and companion Honda, the roach hopping onto his owner's finger as Monty gave a slightly crazed smile, that of a mad scientist mixed with a toddler's excitement to show a interesting bug or plant of object in the woods they found. Carter's head tilted with confusion, as this cockroach was obviously not the Teleporter.

"Instrad of you my friend who's eagerness is welcome but potential for an accident and/or Lawsuit on my behalf, me and dear Honda here will be the subject of the day. I've given the Teleporter's code enough lessons in "The Flesh" that no longer does it tear an living organism apart or from the inside out in the confusion of living cells and not inanimate ones like a pencil or a block, and I shall finally test run it with my dear companion to see if it is successful." Monty spoke. He could see the gears churning and turning in Carter's head about why he would name a roach of all things Honda, but the journalist had no time for that, only excitement for this fancy new breakthrough to the future.

Monty put in the password to initiate the countdown, giddily bouncing to the first Teleporter with Honda on his finger, the mad but well meaning scientist looking in admiration at his one true companion. How he would miss it when an other one of his pets, sadly but realistically, would not live as long as he, a mere human would. If only he could have these savory, sweet moments with his Cockroach friend more, how he wished he had those chances with his cat or his betta fish, or the horse or the cow or any other animal he enjoyed the company of. It must have seen insane from Carter's view as the doors closed, and a spark of light, like a fire, enflamed Monty and Honda and the unlikely duo were gone without a trace. Smoke filed from the second Teleporter, and lo and behold, The eccentric man himself was right there, particles torn apart and put together yet again.

While Carter clapped and wahoo'd in excitement, Monty was devestated that the lack of Honda's weight on his finger disturbed him that much. Surely, surely his dear companion hadn't been disintegrated by his own machine? He had thought so himself, as he looked desperately inside the second Teleporter. Trying not to shed tears, he sucked it up, buttercup, and walked over to Carter without trying to break his dam of tears.

"I..I hope it was as exciting as you wanted it to be." He muttered, as Carter yabbered and jabbered about things he droned onto, wanting some form of companionship now that he was sure he had lost his former one. If he had the chance, he would make a little grave and memorial for his friend, maybe make sure Honda was remembered if he made it to the big screen or had some wild new interview on the horizon. He hadn't paid to mine that something on the first teleporter read "Err", or the odd buzzing he could barely feel in the back of his grey matter, and continued to listen in dread to Carter's ramblings.

By the end, the two were just about ready to go their seperate ways, although Carter had seemed to stop in his tracks, contemplating something.

"Would you, erm.. l-like to go out for some coffee and a lunch tommorow?" Carter asked a little hopelessly, as most crushes he had rejected him, and dare he think of how Justin Timberlake reacted the one time.

Monty furrowed his brow, and in a feat of depressed yet understanding defeat, he gave a "Right as Rain, Darling", and waved ahoy to his new friend, trying to not to let the taste of sour in his mouth and the silent droning in the back of his grey matter drive him mad.

#ocs #The Insect is Awake #The Fly #hope anyone reading this enjoys this #Because there WILL be a part 2 >:]

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takeeachdayonebookatatime · 6 months

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Why did you elbow me? 160

Achilles Castle part 62

Lemonade and lies PART 5

Ayanna: pov I wonder what they are screaming at/about all of a sudden it becomes very clear it's a roach and it's not alone it has a few friends with it. Ew I hate bugs, it feels like hours of watching this camera feed when in reality it has been only an hour.

Kate: pov a woman appears with a baby and walks up to the tattooed guy and slaps him across the face saying that's for not paying child support. Esposito walks in the room asking if I want him to pick up dinner. I'm starting to feel even worse. I say yes that's fine.

Liv: pov Ayanna gets up to talk to Elliot. I ask Kate if she is okay because she doesn't look like she feels good, she says it's probably a cold it will pass. I tell her she should be careful because of her heart. Kate says her cardiologist already knows she doesn't feel good. Kate is coughing. Let's. Hope her cough doesn't get any worse.

Fin: pov Esposito arrives back with the food, he got Kate a special soup. Kate and Liv take their food back to the conference room Ayanna agrees to join them Muncy is also invited. Us Boys are eating in the breakroom chatting about work and life.

Ryan: pov I help clean up the mess from dinner who new tacos Could be so messy. Lanie chose to eat with the girls. I think she wants to check in on Kate more than anything.

Lanie: pov I follow Kate into the woman's bathroom to talk privately, Kate you have to be honest with me how are you really feeling. You have a headache, did you take some tylenol, yes okay. Are you starting to cough, yet? Yes you have a cough can you take a few minutes and come downstairs to the morgue so I can check you out better.

Kate: pov I will be back in a minute Lanie needs me for a few minutes in the morgue she says it's important. Lanie has me sit down on a chair since her morgue table just had a body on it. She takes my temperature, listens to my heart and lungs and says it is a cold. She is concerned about my cough, so far no fever which is great. As soon as I noticed my cough I started taking my cough meds. Alexis dropped them off earlier, since she had the day off from school as was on the way to hang out with Dave.

Muncy: pov back upstairs Kate heads back to her office to keep watching the video feed with Liv and Ayanna. I'm working with Joe checking on people's alibis for the night of the murder. It's starting to get late. Everyone decides to go home and come back very early in the morning.

Castle: pov Kate is Finally home Lanie brought her home since she is sick. Lanie says she can spend the night, just to make sure Kate is okay. Her cough is pretty bad, but thankfully she doesn't have a fever. Lanie grabs the sore throat lollipops Kate can have and an ice pop to help. I turn the TV on so the 3 of us can watch something for a bit. Alexis is still out with Dave and mother should be back soon.

Martha: pov me and my friend had the most amazing time. How is your case going Katherine, oh that's good to hear you have extra help. You look like you don't feel well Katherine. Is everything okay Lanie. Well I hope her cold goes away soon, I'm off to bed. Oh and Alexis texted me she is heading back to Dave's instead of home.

Elliot:pov I head back to my lonely apartment and call the kids to check up on them. Eli is spending the week with Kathleen since she has the week off that way they can do a whole bunch of fun stuff.

Cassidy: pov it's late when Liv gets home, how was your day? I bet it was long. I already fed Noah and helped him with his homework and let him play a little bit of video games before he showered and went to bed. How about some ice cream before bed.

Lanie: pov I was up most of the night with Kate. Her cough is pretty bad. Breakfast is going to be a banana for her and a cup of decaf coffee. The Brand of decaf coffee she drinks has zero caffeine in it. She takes her meds then the cough medicine. I'm a little concerned about Kate so far she hasn't said her chest hurts which is a good thing.

Jenny: pov Ryan is up early getting ready for work, he has his hand resting on my belly where you can feel the baby kicking hard.

Fin: pov everyone shows up at the station early, Esposito has brought donuts and coffee and for everyone and for the people who don't drink coffee he brought hot chocolate and tea. Kate already ate at her house. Liv says Cassidy is dropping Noah off at school and picking him up for her since he has the day off.

Ayanna: pov after taking some time to plan our entry to the warehouse we head out the ride to the warehouse is short, the rest of the officers/detectives are in a van with the name Pam's cleaning on the side. Lanie won't take no for an answer so she is coming with us. She will be in the van with Jet.

Joe: pov Captain Benson and Captain Beckett had agreed to show up, the group arrives at the warehouse with additional officers. All of us are waiting in the cars or van, Muncy and Ayanna are going in with Liv and Kate as two of the girls. Once they give the signal the rest of us and ESU will bust in. Jet hacked into the camera's, lucky there is one in this room. To be continued. ……..

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