#Lives In Empty Shell

[subbalakshmisastry]

Fascinating Animal HERMIT CRAB in Lokaranjan Aqua World Mysore, Underw...

#youtube #Arthropods #Crustaceans #Hermit Crab #Symbiosis #Lokaranjan Aqua World Mysore #Underwater Zone Mysore #Land and Sea Animal #Soft Abdomen #Lives In Empty Shell

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing #painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her #i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but #the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach #streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow #im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected #i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes #not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her #how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want #her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest #but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b #so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so #much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming #i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby #unrelated

[randomreasonstolive]

Reason to Live #8729

There's still lots of beautiful shells and pebbles on the beach I need to discover. – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.) 

#sad #help #hope #reason to live #depressed #depression #empty #alone #mental illness #anxiety #trauma #guest submission #mental health #beauty #beautiful #shells #pebbles #beach #beaches #nature #discover #adventure

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit. #i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them. #but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu'' #it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps???? #it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped. #the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????'' #oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

[porschesbabydaddy]

Currently obsessively thinking about an AU where Porsche and Chay are found by Gun at a young age and raised by the minor family

#kinnporsche #a world where gun bothered to go back to nampheungs house #and instead of seeing an empty shell or a new family living there #he sees Porsche and Chay #I doubt he’d think twice about taking them- they’re an extension of Nampheung and if he can’t have her he’ll take the next best thing #this is not a kind AU #you’ve heard of attic wife #and secret library sister #now prepare yourself for basement babies

[vairiance]

I really think Pokemon should go back to 2D. Not even necessarily like HD 2D or whatever like Octopath Traveler (although that'd be cool I guess), but just what they had going in Gen 4/5, but polished up to modern tech standards.

So much charm was lost in the shift to 3D (not without benefit, of course, but still), and it brought a whole host of space issues, all in the name of making Pokemon look less appealing and having awkward movements. Like, compare these images of Hippowdon:

Leftmost is Gen 5, middle is modern, and rightmost is the (leaked) sprite from S/V.

Gen 5's is awesome! Grainy, obviously, by design, but otherwise it's super cool. You see a fierce looking hippo, posed threateningly, spewing sand to demonstrate its signature mechanic. Perfect.

Modern Hippowdon makes me sad. It's still kind of grainy (beyond what the resolution change of this image did to it), and it just looks like me on a Monday morning. You'd have no idea that this thing shoots sand, and you'd only get to see it look cool for a fraction of a second when it attacks, sometimes.

Then there's S/V Hippowdon. It's just a menu sprite icon, but look how clean it looks compared to modern Hippowdon! Imagine the Gen 5 Hippowdon pose, with the SV Hippowdon style. That'd be ideal for me I think.

3D has its benefits for sure, obviously, but I think 3D should be saved for spinoffs where a smaller scale can be enforced, and thus more care can be put into what is in the game. Comparing the 3D animations of Pokemon Colosseum/XD and what we have now proves this; in the Orre games, the Pokemon really feel alive, because they move in a way natural to what you'd expect, whereas in the modern era, everyone stands there idly and twitches once in a while to attack or get hit.

Move animations suffer as well. Let's compare the animation of Earthquake, a move that's supposed to be a terrifying massive quake of the earth. Here's how it's depicted in Gen 4:

Pretty cool, right? The magnitude of the quake is shown by literally everything shaking violently, with some dramatic flashes and rock effects. Not bad. But this could really benefit from 3D, let's take a look at how a powerful explosion of the earth is shown with the cutting edge graphics of Gen 8:

It is what would be considered a god awful green screen effect if seen in a movie.

Sure, but how much better could a 3D Earthquake animation be? Well, let's turn to the love of my life, Pokemon XD, to see how it's done:

Look, maybe you disagree with my assessment of these images, and that's fine. But I strongly encourage you to go back and play, say, Emerald, or Platinum, or what have you, if you haven't recently. You'll be able to palpably feel the difference between it and the newer games, and the visuals are just the surface of this. They're just what tends to come to mind whenever I think about it.

Idk I just miss when Pokemon games were delivered as strong single player games with multiplayer capabilities meant to last a decent while and then be put down, and returned to in a few years when you're feeling wistful, as opposed to increasingly lightweight multiplayer focused games with increasingly less single player endgame content so that they can push subscriptions of the god awful online pass

#i hate modern gaming #i hate it so so much #im literally having a breakdown about it right now #games are my only outlet i have literally got nothing else to look forward to in my life #and im slowly losing them to senseless greed and dispassionate companies #i mean thats not new obviously but it is hitting me hard as i play old classics and new games concurrently #anyway this post is inspired by the leaks seeming to confirm that there is no battle tower at all in gen 9 #the only feature that actually matters to me #sorry if you count that as a spoiler but better to be disappointed now than later #i hinged my entire mental health on gen 9 and now it looks like its starting with a massive disappointment #so if the rest of the games arent absolutely perfect im no longer going to have anything to live for #sorry if that sounds dramatic and trust me i know how stupid it sounds to say this as a 28 year old about a game made for infants #thats just what my pointless empty shell of a wasted life is like now #why did i even make this post #nothing here isnt common knowledge #long post #pokemon #sorry i forgot the tags while i was whining #hippowdon

[nocturnebby]

so me and @squirrelfromspace (idk how to mention a user I'm still bery new to tumblr) discussed this arc for empires joel (which I'm not gonna bother explaining) villian!joel go brr lonely mf

drew this in like 20 minutes so quality is a bit off the rocker, and my cameras not going any clearer either soz lmao

(in this specific drawing I've like made pearl goddess of afterlife cause according to oli and sausages lore she is one)

explanation in tags

#I sent everyone to the afterlife #smallishbeans fanart #smallishbeans #empires joel #empires season 2 #I'll explain the thing here #basically the old gods were Joel's friends and family #they're dead now and at much risk of being forgotten by the mortals #Joel's desperately trying to preserve their legacy #but he has memory loss n shit #he keeps mundane memorabilia from his old god friends #which some people have the nerve to steal #he has two options #either to swallow his pride and ask for them back or to let it go and risk them being forgotten #Joel being joel he goes for the third option #goes bloodthirsty and like somehow manages to get rid of entirety of server I forgot the like how he did it #he's all alone again in an empty shell of a world #he's used to it by now though; his companions all withering before him (not usually cause of him) in every one of his lives #basically yeah that's the general gist #the pearl dialog is just my dumb way of saying :I sent them to the afterlife" jfhf dk how to explain so sorry #a lot of this wonderful hc is contributed to by squirrel from space #they're very cool and it was fun discussing this with them #joel smallishbeans the pathetic diety who I desperately want to see go feral batshit

[bunnihearted]

.

#idk how to even express this or put it into worlds but it is lying right under my skin and itching so i need to try #i dont feel safe in the world. anywhere. i dont wanna leave my home. i dont wanna be outside and interact w ppl #i want to minimize all interactions w ppl bc ppl are DANGEROUS and unsafe #everytime i find myself alone in a room w a man wheteher he's a doctor or physical therapist my entire body wants to flee. nd shut down #even if it's 1 in 1000 that smth will happen just then #and almost every single time it goes fine. im under so much anxiety and fear during that entire session #whenever im out for my late night walks in nature and i hear a sound im on edge the entire way home bc i can imagine a 1000 bad things that #could happen #so on so forth there are countless scenarios like these it'd take me too long to recount all of them #but also.. the knowledge that this is just how it is. this is the ways of the world. everyone knows it. nothing to be done abt it... #it's sould crushing to be aware of that. nothing to be done abt it.... nothing at all. it is what it is #it is ridiculed. enjoyed. fetishized. etc etc etc #it always ends w victims dont matter. not the feelings or trauma or opinions or voices. #all reduced to smth to get off to. merely an objects. and empty shell. that is the ways of the world. nothing to be done abt it #and nowhere is safe. ppl are either perpetrators themselves. or they are defenders of it. or contributers to the surrounding culture #no one at all in the world can be trusted. no one is safe. no one cares. no one will do anything other than #ridicule u. blame u. trigger u. defend the acts of abusers. that is the truth of humanity #the truth of the world. it's all built on this. there is no other reality nor truth #and other people are capable of accepting it so well. like they dont care. bc they dont care abt anything actually #but i just cant accept it. i'd rather die than live in this world. and why should i live when i'll always be alone because #no one. is. safe. no one can be trusted #they're all on the vicious cruel abusive side. they all are. nobody cares abt wrongdoings or abuse or pain inflicted. nobody does #nobody cares at all abt what happened to u. they'll keep upholding the abusive systems in place. #bc u dont matter. u never have and never will #i dont wanna go outside or be around ppl bc no one is safe. theyre all against your safety comfort and wellbeing. they all love suffering #i hate ppl bc they all contribute to abuse and rape and everything bad happening all the time. they do not care. no sympathy or compassion #nothing abt this world or humanity is good or kind. it is all cruel harmful venom.

[dandorkity]

I wish Zillow listings had a comments section

#there's a house for sale near my mom's house #it's been for sale for over a year #this guy bought it to flip it but then gave up halfway (generous) through and still marked it up by 300k (he more than tripled the price) #it's completely unfinished #to call it an empty shell is too generous because even the shell is incomplete #the first 3 pictures on zillow are photoshopped to represent what the house COULD be if you put in waaaay more money #this guy needs to be dragged in the comments section #(also it's right next to a school and there's a driveway that connects the school to another street and he yells at kids that walk thru) #(a house he doesn't even live in! (because it's unlivable)) #anyway #text #bullshit

[datastate]

i really love mishima [said while focusing in on the worst years of his life]

#in fairness i do this with reko as well. it's just interesting seeing that slow shift of change after an inciting incident #alice's betrayal & reko lashing out to the point no one will speak to her. she's alone. #mishima's arduous work (& superiority complex) coming up entirely empty w the exam. and without that future he is a shell of a person #they both struggle so much with hurting people (through blunt honesty & deceit) to uplift themselves for the longest time #putting their entire life's value in their own personal work. not themselves as a person. but their Work. #other lives don't matter half as much. they take the influence these people have on them for granted #& have to learn all over again how to be. compassionate. and find value in living outside of what they personally achieve #in not letting envy feed their drive. but embracing these new experiences to motivate & better themselves #jestersvaguely #yttdposting #auigk. i really like them

[foxgloveinspace]

Me: yeah I’m not that big of a fan of birds.

*loves ravens crows and tufted titmouse’s*

Me: well…. Maybe I’m not a fan of parrots??

#very much so #idk what I’m doing with this #when I see a tufted titmouse I get so happy!!! I saw one yesterday I think?? #little gray birds with puffs on their heads… #there’s also a family of crows that sometime live in my back yard!! #I wish I could befriend them but they are so far out there idk if they would accept treasure from me #I see them when I do the dishes and I know it’s gonna be an ok day when I see them #they haven’t been around tho cause it’s been so hot out #I hope they come back in the fall🥺 #since I’m info dumping: the feral kittens that live on my front pourch have stopped running and I’m able to pet the biggest one!! he’s #black and white and we named him Munchi. #their mother cat is sooo wild but I have touched her back twice now!! #the kittens are so dumb tho when the water bowl is empty they curl up in it😭 #sadly I can’t bring them in when I get them tame. if I could keep my cats inside I would without a moment of hesitation #but my mom will not let me. she doesn’t want any inside animals. #oof. #when I leave I’m taking Moose Marmalade and Munchi with me. and maybe all the others but Jam and Smelly Cat don’t get along #and also… 11 cats is a lot oof #Moose Marmalade Notch Jam Smelly Cat Rock Stripes Munchi Mallow Boo & the unnamed one #she’s a tortoise shell and I haven’t thought of a name for her yet #wow. this is a lot of info dumping

[pepprs]

bad enough that i am stuck in my life but even worse when i have to work through / around the stuckness in front of people i care about / explain it / be perceived in experiencing it. UGH!!!!!!

#purrs #i live in my childhood home i share a bedroom withy sister it hasn’t been redecorated since before we were born i don’t even have a license #ive never dated or even been liked like that by someone i know except one time ive never done like 75-80% of the things ppl my age do and im #gonna show up empty handed and empty brained to everythi ng and be seen as stupid and uncaring and whatever when really im just tired and my #life is so flat rn and i don’t have the strength to pull it up by myself and give it shape again but i have to. i don’t think i have covid ( #thank GOD) but i can say even without having ever gotten it and hopefully never getting it that it has ruined my life like genuinely. i mean #good things have come out of it too but i was already socially / emotionally stunted and then being locked down for a year and a half like l #literaly not leaving my house for anything but medical stuff until july 2021 was so PRPFOUBDLY damaging. i feel like someone has taken a the #motion blur tool i. photoshop and just drawn like a scribble over me so some parts of me are stretched to where they need to be and other pa #parts are stuck at like age idk 16 and i think i need to have most of the parts motion blurred to like… move forward! but i can’t make that #happen and i have to explain it and move around it and it’s so EMBARRASSING omg. girl help i am flowering on the wall i am blooming late i a #am hiding in my shell and i want to come out but i also DO NOT so i am cowering in fear forever and never standing up for myself or standing #up at all to be honest!! lol 😸👍 #anyways this post is brought to you by how INSANELY much i do not want to reply to a particular email in my inbox or spend my time tonight #[redacted] on express when i am already so exhausted. and if that makes me a bad person then so be it i guess i am one #* i don’t even have a LEARNERS PERMIT let alone a license. lawl <3

[saltintheseaa]

mithrun panel redraws pre and post his dungeon lord stint

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #mithrun #misurn #my favorite #I live for characters who are missing pieces of themselves/empty in some way or other #His character development in the comic is really good too #Guy goes from someone who doesn’t care about his own or other people’s needs bc he’s too busy seeking revenge #To prioritizing kabru’s desires above his own even though his desire for revenge is literally all that’s keeping him alive #because kabru was the first person to respect him as an actual person #Instead of treating him like a doll or an empty shell #The trust that they slowly build up together in those six days is so nic #e #love it #love my tragic heroes who r doomed to fail their pointless quests

[homerforsure]

I am so so so so grateful to my SIL for offering to let me come over on Mondays now and watch my little wee woo show so I don’t have to do it late or learn to find a stream.

But.

I will say.

That “during toddler bedtime” is not the ideal viewing experience.

Like yes yes auntie loves you. She also doesn’t need eight running start goodnight hugs please go upstairs so your mom unpauses my show.

#my ideal viewing experience is an empty theater #with caps lock commentary from the people in my phone #next season I might have to shell out for Hulu live

[sebastiansmytheapologist]

how to recover after reading the most fanfiction of your life??????

and a song to read chapter 7 to

#genuinely upset bc any fanfic i read after this will never compare #and i will have to live on as the empty shell of a person i was before i read this #they predicted levi’s last name!!!! #in 2013!!!!!! #attack on titan #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #ackerfam #this is a masterpiece

[tea-stained]

How fucked am I if I'm actually happy to feel horrible? It feels so refreshing after having every emotion numbed down. I love this feeling of "today felt nice, something unthinkably bad will happen soon", and this overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I love being able to name them!!!

I'm used to this feeling of impending doom to the point where I just sort of accept it, but today it felt different. So powerful. Made my heart go faster. Made me feel so helpless. Made me feel alive!

And I did not even need meds to feel it!

Am I healing? Am I finally healing?

It's such a relief, to feel this way again.

I'm glad. I'm happy. I feel something I can name. I feel so many things I can name. Today was so... Productive! Even though I have not created anything, other than pleasant memories!

I thought it would be a disaster. I thought I've lost myself even further today. But no.

I'm coming back.

Wait for me, my younger self.

I will pull you back up.

We will stand here, soon, arm by arm, side by side.

We will be one again.

Today, I have found you.

But one day, together, we will reach the me.

#slowly regaining my personality #i feel excited!!! for myself!!!!! #i'm so tired of not having a single thought #of living like an empty shell #a vessel that used to be inhabited by an actual person #i used to enjoy acting but my brain is not really that capable of understanding other people and social cues so my acting abilities sorta #sorta died somewhere along the way? i remember the thoughts circling my consciousness so fast i was unable to catch a single one #which resulted in me canceling them all out in a way because there were just too many #did not improve on that one yet but i believe actually being able to tell how i feel aside from “good” or “bad” is a big-ass step #might be just an one-off and probably is but being idiotically optimistic can be uplifting sometimes eheheh