#which resulted in me canceling them all out in a way because there were just too many

[tea-stained]

How fucked am I if I'm actually happy to feel horrible? It feels so refreshing after having every emotion numbed down. I love this feeling of "today felt nice, something unthinkably bad will happen soon", and this overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I love being able to name them!!!

I'm used to this feeling of impending doom to the point where I just sort of accept it, but today it felt different. So powerful. Made my heart go faster. Made me feel so helpless. Made me feel alive!

And I did not even need meds to feel it!

Am I healing? Am I finally healing?

It's such a relief, to feel this way again.

I'm glad. I'm happy. I feel something I can name. I feel so many things I can name. Today was so... Productive! Even though I have not created anything, other than pleasant memories!

I thought it would be a disaster. I thought I've lost myself even further today. But no.

I'm coming back.

Wait for me, my younger self.

I will pull you back up.

We will stand here, soon, arm by arm, side by side.

We will be one again.

Today, I have found you.

But one day, together, we will reach the me.

#slowly regaining my personality #i feel excited!!! for myself!!!!! #i'm so tired of not having a single thought #of living like an empty shell #a vessel that used to be inhabited by an actual person #i used to enjoy acting but my brain is not really that capable of understanding other people and social cues so my acting abilities sorta #sorta died somewhere along the way? i remember the thoughts circling my consciousness so fast i was unable to catch a single one #which resulted in me canceling them all out in a way because there were just too many #did not improve on that one yet but i believe actually being able to tell how i feel aside from “good” or “bad” is a big-ass step #might be just an one-off and probably is but being idiotically optimistic can be uplifting sometimes eheheh

[emocheol]

seventeens pet name for you

seungcheol

baby

loves to be a caretaker so having you be his baby is natural.

he’s always holding you in his arms, almost like he’s trying to protect you from the world and keep you to himself.

when you’re tired you actually get into baby mode and he loves doting on you, knowing that you won’t fight him on it.

“baby, don’t worry i’ll do that for you”

“baby, come give me a kiss”

“baby, i missed you so much”

“baby, you know i’d do anything for you”

jeonghan

angel

sure, he’s the angel of seventeen but you’re his angel.

always says that you were sent from heaven just for him because of how perfect you are, hence an angel.

when he sees a new picture of you he’ll screenshot it and draw a halo over your head and send it back to you with a text that says ‘your halo is shining so bright, my angel’ (love makes him cheesy)

“angel, let’s stay in bed today”

“angel, can you do my hair?”

“angel, i hope you know im obsessed with you”

“angel, you’re the only one for me”

joshua

love

such a classic and gentle name, just like joshua.

he loves you so much the only word that he can think of when it comes to you is love.

if anyone calls him a simp he will gladly own that title because, duh, you’re his partner! of course he’s gonna simp over you!

will do whatever you want at the drop of a hat. he’ll even suggest cancelling his schedules if you want him to stay home, you decline but quite literally have to push him out the door to leave.

“love, come cuddle with me”

“love, i hate every second that i’m away from you”

“love, let’s get matching outfits”

“my love, you’re so perfect”

jun

sweetheart

actually spent a lot of time contemplating what your pet name should be. he didn’t want to get it wrong!

tested way too many names over multiple weeks, seeing if they rolled off the tongue, but none of them did.

finally lands on sweetheart, when he says it for the first time he knows he’s found the perfect name.

now he barely says your name, saying that sweetheart encapsulates your entire being.

“sweetheart, want me to do the dishes?”

“sweetheart, can you read me a story?”

“sweetheart, do you know how much i love you?”

“sweetheart, you’re my favorite person of all time”

soonyoung

honey

soonyoung thinks you’re sweet like honey, so he just has to call you that!

you have the same nickname for him which results in all your friends pretending to gag when you both start calling each other honey. they say it’s sickening, sickeningly sweet

likes to dote on you, would wait on hand and foot if you told him to.

“honey, do you need anything before i leave?”

“honey, i’m home!” (his favorite phrase)

“honey, let’s go on a date tonight”

“honey, you’re the sweetest person in the world”

wonwoo

babe

has always thought that pet names were cringe but when you started calling him every sweet name under the sun he knew he had to come up with one for you.

landed on the classic ‘babe’, he says it flows well, its natural when he’s talking to you now.

doesn’t want anyone else to hear him call you it, so he usually sticks to saying it at home or whispering it to you.

“babe, stay by my side, i don’t want anything happening to you”

“babe, don’t get up yet it’s too early”

“babe, you wanna see my new game?”

“babe, i adore you”

jihoon

baby

another natural caretaker, loves to be the big strong man in the relationship so naturally you’re his baby.

gets salty when you try to dote on him since he knows he should be doing it to you instead.

landed on it because you were pouting once and he said the resemblance to a baby was uncanny.

“baby, you don’t have to stay at the studio with me”

“baby, get some sleep”

“baby, let’s stay in tonight”

“baby, i know i don’t show it as much as i should, but i’m eternally grateful for you”

minghao

darling

claims that their song ‘darling’ is about you to try and make it special (it was just a coincidence but you’ll take it)

says you’re like a sparkling jewel, so perfect, so enchanting, and so darling

always talks to you in the most endearing tone, he can never be mad at you.

“darling, what do you want to have for dinner?”

“darling, let me take a picture of you”

“darling, don’t forget to call me on your break”

“darling, you’re so precious to me”

mingyu

sweetie

loves to bake you desserts and say something like ‘a sweet for my sweetie’.

thinks you’re so sweet and lovely that sweetie is a given name for you.

food is his love language so he’s always making you meals and sweet desserts.

“sweetie, try this new dish i made”

“sweetie, give me a kiss before you go”

“sweetie, give me a bite of that”

“sweetie, you’re it for me”

seokmin

love/lovie

this man is simply obsessed with, so so utterly in love, hence the name love.

everyone swears they can see hearts in his eyes when he looks at you or talks about you.

couldn’t think of a good name for you so he went to his friends being like ‘i’m so in love with them but i can’t think of a pet name! wait… love!’

“lovie, don’t forget about me :(” (you’re just going to work for the day)

“love, do you want to come to karaoke night?”

“lovie, i’m your favorite guy, right?”

“my love~, i wrote this song for you, wanna hear it?”

seungkwan

boo

yes, his nickname for you is his last name. no, it’s not weird! he’ll call you mrs./mr. boo because he can’t wait until you have his last name.

when some calls for ‘boo’ you both turn around, thinking it was for you. this just makes you both laugh and look at each other like you had a little inside secret that no one else understood.

he’ll always say it with literal hearts in his eyes.

“boo, have a good day at work”

“my boo~, i miss you”

“boo, do you want to go have a spa night?”

“my boo~, i love you to the ends of the earth”

vernon

babe

also thinks pet names are cringe so he settled on the most obvious and classic one.

but then actually he starts to like it (to his horror), and starts to call you it all the time.

only ever calls you babe now, and will be salty if you call him by his first or middle name.

“babe, get ready i’m taking you on a date”

“babe, i got you a present you’re gonna love it”

“babe, we should get a cat to be the ring bearer at our wedding”

“babe, you know i love you, right?”

chan

honey

you originally started calling chan ‘honey’ first.

he always got so giddy whenever you said it that he decided he was gonna start calling you that too, to make you feel as special as he did.

thinks it the most special name in the world and if anyone makes fun of it he’ll go to war over it.

“honey, let me show you the new dance i learned”

“honey, did you get a haircut? you look beautiful as ever”

“honey, let’s stay in bed today”

“honey, you’re my everything”

#seventeen imagine #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #svt fluff #svt imagine #svt x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenario #svt imagines #svt scenario #mingyu x reader #wonwoo x reader #vernon x reader #seungkwan x reader #joshua x reader #wonwoo fluff #mingyu fluff #seventeen

[woso-dreamzzz]

Mimic

McFoord x Baby!Reader

Summary: You're definitely Katie's child

Hiding the pregnancy had been difficult.

Caitlin had picked up an ankle injury around the same time as she started to show so it was easy to write it off as long-term, hunkering down in the house like some kind of hermit.

Hiding you away for a year had been even harder.

Some fans were eagle-eyed and as a result, you were never posted on any social media. You didn't even come to training. You'd never met any of the Arsenal girls in person at all even though you were approaching eighteen months.

Which was why it was so shocking for everyone involved when Katie got out of the car for a home match against Manchester City with a child on a backpack leash.

As soon as you are on your feet, you attempt to escape but Katie tugs on your leash to stop you in your tracks.

You give her a foul look in return before you're plucked into Caitlin's arms.

The crowd watching the players arrive all scream out questions as they walk inside.

"It's nice to finally meet the little one," Kim says pointedly as the two of them arrive in the locker room.

"You've seen her before," Katie replies.

"Over the phone doesn't count," Kim says," She's a little cutie. You must be proud."

Caitlin watches you from the corner of her eye as you methodically rip everything out of her cubby and throw it on the floor. "Something like that."

"She's just like me!" Katie's been waiting for ages to be able to brag about you so she's lapping up all the attention.

"She has a bit of a temper," Caitlin confesses when Katie runs off to show you to everyone else in the changing room," Definitely gets that from Katie.

"We didn't expect to see her today..."

"Babysitter cancelled. There were no other options. We'll probably just tie her leash to a post and call it a day. She'll wander around otherwise."

"She's restless?"

Caitlin winces. "Feral might be the word. I love her but...Katie calls her a gremlin sometimes."

Kim looks past Caitlin to where you're now chewing on Katie's fingers, methodically biting down on each one as she introduces you to everyone.

"Well...she's certainly Katie's..."

Caitlin laughs. "Don't I know it."

You're being surprisingly tame today, for what it's worth, even as you try to make another break for it. You're yet again pulled back by your kiddie leash and Caitlin is left to marvel over just how steady you are on your feet.

It had been hard hiding you from the fans and even harder to not fold and continue to keep you away from their teammates. That second one wasn't even planned but you'd come out a little sickly and spent a few weeks in hospital.

It was enough to cause Katie to put the entire house on lockdown for months after your birth when getting chest infections became your norm.

By the time you were healthy and fit and coming into your own personality, it was too much of a risk to bring you to practice with all of the cameras around.

Either way, it's all ruined now because Caitlin knows the videos of you walking in on your kiddie leash are all over Twitter.

The cameras are all pointed towards you as Caitlin walks out onto the bench to start the game. Katie crouches down next to you, littering kisses all over your face as you giggle.

"I'll see you in a bit, gremlin," She says," You be good for your Mummy."

You garble out a few noises that Katie repeats back to you with a soft smile.

"You know," Steph laughs," Now that she's been spotted in the wild, you don't have an excuse for Sam and her kid to meet her. I hear her Chook's getting bored of waiting."

Caitlin sighs deeply as you slam two of your blocks together to show Leah the noise they make. "I don't think the world could take it if Sam's Chook and our Gremlin met. It's too much rough play for any pair."

"I think you underestimate Sam's Chook. I heard she's been very helpful and careful since Sam hurt her knee."

"It's not Chook I'm worried about." Caitlin tilts her head towards you where you've started to amuse yourself by kicking Leah's shin, giggling every time your little foot makes contact.

You head whips around as your watch your Mam get tripped nearby, landing with a thud.

You screech loudly and go to march towards her, grumbling and frowning as you go. You're stopped by a tug on your leash and a pointed look from your Mummy.

You recognise that look and point over at where your Mam is dusting herself off. "Fell," You say to Mummy," Mam fell."

Caitlin has to suppress her laughter. You've got a curious blend of hers and Katie's accents. Sometimes you sound fully Australian like Harper when you speak but other times it's like Caitlin gave birth to a mini Katie because your inflection is exactly the same as hers.

You sound like Katie now. You look like her too, hands on your hips and face like thunder.

"Your Mam did fall," Caitlin says as she pulls you closer," But she's gotten up now. She's fine."

You don't look convinced as you throw a nasty look over at the referee who did nothing against the clear foul.

"Do you remember my friend Steph? You met her on the phone before? Can you say hi?"

"Hi!" You chirp, giving her a beaming smile that shows off the teeth you have.

It's kind of funny to reconcile this beaming, happy version of you with the one that was screeching at the ref just minutes ago.

"Hi," Steph coos," It's very nice to meet you in person."

You're still smiling as you nod, bouncing on your feet as Caitlin digs around in your backpack. You seem to know what time it is because you turn that beaming smile from Steph to your Mummy.

"Bottle?" You ask hopefully and Mummy rewards you with a bottle full of milk that you hastily shove into your mouth.

You sit down at her feet as you chug your drink. Mummy runs a soft hand through your hair as you take a break and lean into her, wiggling back until you hit her legs.

You turn to smile at her and she smiles back.

Your drink is all empty in a little bit and you focus back on the football match in front of you. You clumsily climb to your feet in outrage when the referee shows your Mam a yellow rectangle.

You don't exactly know what it is but you know it's bad and you don't like it being shown to your Mam. You screech and throw your bottle, stamping your feet.

"No!" You say loudly and the bench behind you bursts into laughter," No! No! Bad! Bad referee!"

Caitlin buries her head in her hands as she tugs firmly on her leash when you attempt to run onto the field to give the ref a piece of your mind.

"She's definitely Katie's," Steph howls through her laughter.

#woso x reader #mcfoord x reader #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccabe #caitlin foord x reader #caitlin foord #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

[strangersteddierthings]

What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Alright y'all. We had the hurt, let's get some comfort started.

-

Steve leans against his door, expecting Eddie to follow him upstairs to continue their argument because Eddie's never been one to back down from an argument as far as Steve can tell, so he's using his weight to keep the door shut. It takes about five minutes of just leaning against the door before he hears a few light knocks on the door. He pretends he didn't hear them and soon starts to hear Eddie monologue-ing on the other side. He thinks he hears a 'sorry' and an 'I fucked up' but he doesn't really tune in until Eddie says something about cancelling Hellfire.

Spinning quickly, he yanks the door open and says, "You better not fucking cancel!"

"What? Don't you, like, want me out of your house?" Eddie looks startled and sounds confused.

"What I want is for the kids to get to play Dungeons and Dorks for an afternoon, just getting to be kids and fight against monsters that can't actually kill them," Steve says as he goes to put his hands on his hips (a move that Robin calls his Bitch Stance) but realizes he can't while still holding a book, so instead he folds his arms across his chest, cradling the book to his body.

He waits for Eddie to call him out for saying dorks instead of dragons, but Eddie just blinks at him, quiet for a moment before he says, "Oh. Uh, okay then. I'll just, uhh, I'll be back closer to noon, then. For the game."

"Don't you have prep to do?" Steve knows he's trying to pick a fight now but he's angry, and sad, and hurt underneath it all. Also, he doesn't understand the change in Eddie suddenly. Ten-ish minutes ago Eddie had shouted back I wasn’t exactly wrong, was I? You were a jock, a bully even! Where is that anger now?

"No. Not, uh, not really," Eddie says, avoiding meeting Steve's gaze, face turning a very light pink. "I was- I mean, yes, there was prep, but I did a majority of that already and what's left will take maybe three minutes so..."

Steve's confused now, still trying to cling to his anger. "But you called and asked if it was okay to come early specifically for that reason."

Eddie doesn't respond right away. He turns around to walk to the wall opposite Steve's door and thump his forehead against it. Steve is perplexed by the behavior (but he's been perplexed by Eddie since finding him at Reefer Rick's) so he just watches in silence as Eddie heaves a sigh and turns around to slump against the wall, facing Steve once again. He runs a hand through his hair, then drags that hand back forward and down his face. "Yeah. I did do that."

"So, what, you lied? Why?"

"I just wanted to hang out," Eddie whispers, like it almost hurts him to say out loud, which is such a weird thing to hear because it makes Eddie seem small in a way Steve's never seen him. Even during spring break Eddie was never small or quiet; his fear manifested as shouting, for fuck's sake. It chips away at the last of Steve's anger. He's long past the days of kicking someone when they're down.

"You... wanted to hang out," Steve repeats before heaving a sigh of his own, long-suffering man that he is. Maybe it is time to bury the hatchet and actual deal with this. If nothing else, it'll result in Steve being less defensive around Eddie when everyone hangs out, like for movie night or BBQs. Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to so he says, "Listen, I think we've got some shit to hash out, or whatever, so that should probably be done or, like, things are going to be weird when we all hang out, but I can't do that right now, man. So, stay or go, just make that game happen at noon. I'm going to stay up here."

Eddie nods, weirdly sullen and quiet again, as he says, "Yeah. Umm, maybe after the game? If you're feeling up to it."

"Sure. After."

Eddie raps his knuckles against the wall behind him twice before pushing off and heading back towards the stairs. He pauses to look over his shoulder and say, "If you wanna watch, or listen in, or something, I don't think anyone will mind." And then he's heading down the stairs.

Retreating back to his room, Steve tosses the book onto his bed before flopping face first next to it. He groans into his comforter before reaching for the book. He props himself up on his elbows and stares down at the cover before opening it to see Christopher's handwriting on the inside cover.

It's been years since he thought about Christopher and even longer since he's laid eyes on the books. He was so sure his mom had just gotten rid of them. All this time, they'd been right where he left them, shoved just far enough back to be out of sight on the shelf. His last link to Christopher.

That's not true, Steve scolds himself. His cousins, Amber and Robert, are still alive and in Washington. His grandparents still live on that farm in Michigan. Steve just hasn't seen them since the funeral.

He hadn't gone back to the farm the summer after freshman year, or any year since. His parents thought he was old enough to stay home for a whole month in the summer alone now, instead of paying to ship him off to his grandparents. Steve's old enough now to know that was why he'd spent a month every year out on the farm; so his parents could go off on longer work trips. Once they'd decided Steve was old enough to stay alone for the summer, that quickly reached other seasons and by the time Steve was a junior, the were gone more than they were home.

He doesn't even remember when he last spoke to them in person. He thinks the last phone call was right after Starcourt. It was just to make sure Steve got to job hunting, since his place of employment had burned down and the bills wouldn't pay themselves. Which is true. He doesn't have to pay rent, but all the utilities are in his name now.

Jesus, he doesn't want to be thinking about them.

He goes back to the book, flipping through the pages absently. Halfway through the book he finds a couple folded pieces of paper tucked close to the spine. He doesn't have to open them to know exactly what they are.

It's the character sheets he'd made.

He closes the book back atop them and rolls over to face his ceiling. He wants to call Robin, but the phones are downstairs and he doesn't want to go down there just yet. He also kinda wants to cry. To get rid of all these emotions about Christopher, and Freshman First Day, and Eddie.

Fucking Eddie. Who haunts Steve's thoughts more than he'd like because despite the grudge Steve has been holding, Eddie has been fun to be around and so good with the kids, especially Dustin. Fuck, after having watched Dustin break down when they thought he was dead- but he'd had a pulse. It was weak but it was there.

After Eddie'd been cleared of the charges and the months rolled on into summer, they'd spent lots of time together as a group. Steve will admit he tried to avoid Eddie as best he could (he knows he's petty, okay) but could still see how he blended smoothly into their group.

If this Eddie had been the one he met on Freshman First Day, instead of the dick that mocked him, they might very well be friends now.

That's the crux of it all, Steve thinks. That he wouldn't mind being friends with Eddie if not for that bottled up grudge he'd been holding onto. He can't bring himself to let it go and Steve's not even sure why. Thoughts and feelings aren't something Steve processes quickly, and it usually helps to talk it out with Robin. She lets him stumble through his thoughts, and doesn't mock him for messing up, or mixing up, words.

Goddammit, if he's really going to try talking this out with Eddie, he's going to have be open and honest and maybe a little vulnerable and he doesn't know if he can do that.

But he'll have to. For better or worse, he can't just keep Eddie at arms length. They need to either come to the conclusion that they can be friends, or not, and then go from there. (Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to.)

In the end, Steve's not sure how long he just stares up at the ceiling but a sudden shout breaks him from his trance. It sounded like Dustin. Hellfire must have started.

Steve leaves his room to go lean against the half wall of the hallway, so he could look down to the dining table where everyone has gathered to play. No one notices him, so Steve sinks to the floor and turns, so he can lean against the wall, closes his eyes, and listens in.

The room below is filled with noise. Shouts of excitement, and groans of pain, and sighs of relief. Dustin yells at his dice when it rolls a Nat 1. Mike curses up a storm over a barely missed perception check that makes the party fall into a surprise round. He hears Lucas whoop happily and then what sounds like him taking several victory laps around the table.

He used to be an imaginative kid, able to easily conjure castle, and knights, and dragons in his mind's eye. Listening to Eddie describe a new location, or NPC, or monster makes it easy to bring that part of himself back. Eddie is descriptive and uses so many voices that Steve would be embarrassed to even attempt. But because Eddie is being descriptive, so is everyone else at the table. Erica has adopted an accent of some sort for her character. Dustin and Will go into great detail describing what they want their character to do. The older members of Hellfire do the same, and one of them is using an Irish accent that if he used while talking to Steve, he'd would think it was his first language.

Steve's not sure how long he sat there, long enough that they've taken a snack break and are back at it again, before he decides he might as well watch, too. He gets up and goes downstairs. There's a pause at the table when he wonders in and plops down on the couch. He makes eye contact with Eddie and offers a small half smile. Eddie grins back, and starts back into the game, pulling everyone's focus.

Watching is interesting. He gets to see the Party jab at each other, or lean over and whisper about something. It's nice, to see them being kids. Having fun.

They end around five and Steve is surprised at how quickly five hours had passed.

"So, Steve, how was watching your first DnD game?" Dustin asks, pausing on his way to the door to do so.

Steve considers teasing him, but he goes for honesty instead. "Pretty interesting. It might not be my last time observing. I gotta see you get killed sometime, right?"

"Rude, Steve. Rude," Dustin is grinning though.

"Tell your mom hi for me, and let me know when she's making pork chops again. I'd like to crash that dinner."

Dustin rolls his eyes and shakes his head but he hugs Steve before leaving. Between all the older Hellfire members, they all have rides home that aren't Steve or Eddie.

Speaking of the latter, he's slowly packing things away at the table. Clearly killing time so it won't look like he's intentionally staying after everyone's gone.

Soon, the house is empty again.

"So, I'm not sure... how to start this conversation," Eddie admits to the silence. He's still at the table, standing behind where he was previously sitting, fiddling with a die. "But, I'm sorry. For that day. You were right, you know? When you said I was lashing out at you first."

"Thanks. For the apology," Steve stands from the couch and moves to the table, toying with the tablecloth instead of looking at Eddie. "I, uhh, I'm not sure where to go from here, either? I spent such a long time angry at you. For pointing out all the things I'm bad at in front of everyone there. For making me feel like an idiot."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Now Steve looks up at Eddie. "You say that, but like, why? Are you sorry because what you did was shitty, or because you want to be my friend now?"

Eddie blinks, apparently thrown by Steve's question.

"Because, like, you were pretty dismissive of Lucas before Spring Break and he helped save your life. So, it's like, are you okay with being shitty if the people you hurt aren't people you like? 'Cause I used to be that way, and I'm not going to be friends with someone who is."

"Yeah, no, you're right," Eddie nods. "For all that I scream about conformity, and how stupid it is, I've been rather quick to dismiss everyone outside my own... group. I held rather close to that nerds verses jocks crap for too long. Lucas is a jock, but he's also a nerd, and so very loyal to his friends. And you- you're really fucking awesome."

"I am," Steve interrupts with a cheeky grin.

"Ass. But yeah, you're pretty awesome, and I've been feeling all fucked up today because, we could have been friends, couldn't we? In high school. If I'd just let you take the damn flier and kept my mouth shut."

"Hey, that's not all on you," Steve says. "I would have still joined the basketball team, and the swim team. And, like, I was so desperate for any shred of attention from my parents that I would never have picked Hellfire over sports meetups. I could have joined and still ended up a bully by sophomore year."

"Well, I didn't help-"

"I made those choices, Eddie. And it doesn't matter because it's in the past. So, like, we can just move forward. Start over, or whatever."

Eddie looks him up and down before giving one sharp nod, then breaking out into a wide grin, sticking his hand out for a handshake. "Hi. Name's Eddie Munson."

Steve laughs, reaching out to shake Eddie's hand. "Steve Harrington."

"Great, pleasure to meet you. Do you wanna hang out? We can play 20 questions. Get to know each other."

"Sure," Steve chuckles, extracting his hand from Eddie's. "Let me order some pizza first."

First time hanging out with Eddie alone. Guess they'll find out if they can be friends after all.

#steddie #my fic #what's eight plus seven? #just one more part #not fully edited because im at work so apologies for that

[bunnliix]

"Did I look hot in it?"

I saw this prompt by @creativepromptsforwriting and immediately thought of Wooyoung. And so, two weeks later after I found said prompt, here is a Wooyoung x reader one shot.

This kinda took on a mind of its own, and this was the result of that, so I hope y'all enjoy! Also totally not considering making either more oneshots in this universe, or a series. If that would be something you'd be interested in, dear readers, please let me know.

Prompt:

"I had a nightmare about you."

"Did I look hot in it?"

word count: 1.2k

warnings: Wooyung being loud and a bit of a brat, piss in cereal joke once, I think that's it? Not really much to warn about in this one

You slunk into class, tired beyond belief, before sitting down at the back of the classroom to try and hide said tiredness. You pulled out your books and laptop, laying them out on the desk, after which you rested your head in your hands, trying to stop yourself from falling asleep but failing to do so. With sleepy eyes, you observed as people strolled into the room and sat down as it came closer to the start of class. As the last group of students rolled into the classroom, of course it had to be the loudest group, you couldn’t help but cringe at the noise level. 

There were times you hated your classes, because you had to share them with Jung Wooyoung. Of course, his friends were just as bad, disruptive as all hell, and way too noisy for anyone’s sanity. His presence had plagued you in your classes since first year, and whenever you were able to escape a class with him, you always fared so much better. Normally, since they got there so late, they usually had to sit in the front of the classroom.

But not today. Of course the seat right in front of you was open, and of course Wooyoung spotted the open desk like a hawk. The loud boy strolled all the way to the back, as his friends found spots up front. He sat down at the desk, facing towards you as you looked anywhere but at him.

“Hey bestie, why are you all the way back here?” He asked, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Why don’t you just fuck off, Jung.” You replied, not having nearly enough sleep to deal with his bullshit. 

“Awww, come on. Don’t be mean. And I told you, call me Wooyoung!” He whined, a pout on his face that just made you want to slap him instead.

Thankfully, you were spared from having to answer the boy, as the professor walked in at that exact moment. He started class right away, so Wooyoung had to turn back around, lest he get kicked out. This professor was pretty strict about classroom etiquette, which for today, worked in your favor.

Class was actually interesting for once, the topic today being something that you were interested in, which helped keep you awake. It also meant it passed by quickly, to your disappointment. Soon enough, everyone was packing up, including yourself. You quickly pulled out your headphones, hoping to avoid the boy in front of you from starting up another conversation. Popping them on your head, you turned on the noise cancelling aspect, as you put your books and laptop back into your bag. Sliding your bag on your back, you leave the classroom in a hurry. 

To your distaste and ire, Wooyoung followed behind you. The man couldn’t help but haunt you at all times, even in your dreams. Or rather, the nightmare that you had last night, which kept you from sleeping. And now it seems that he’s intent on talking with you today. You steadfastly ignored the man, focused only on getting to the library to study in silence. 

Wooyoung got tired of chasing you, instead moving in front of you to try and force you to stop walking. You just moved out of the way, trying to continue walking, but Wooyoung grabbed your elbow, pulling you back.

“Why are you so insistent on not talking to me?” He demanded to know. 

“I’m not up to talking with you Jung. Fuck. Off.” You said through gritted teeth. You were exhausted and the only thing you wanted was silence, not Mr. Loudmouth here talking your ear off. 

“No. Why are you such a grump today? Did someone piss in your cereal?” He joked.

“I didn’t sleep well last night. So sorry that I’m not up to talking. Now let me go.” You said tersely, ready to push him into the wall, just so he’d get out of your way.

Wooyoung cooed, “Awwww, why? Were you having daydreams about me so you couldn’t fall asleep?”

"I had a nightmare about you." You said, fire in your eyes.

Wooyoung smiled cheekily, "Did I look hot in it?" He asked, delight in his eyes.

This was the limit for you, and you pushed the taller man into the wall. “Jung Wooyoung, shut the fuck up.” You said.

He chuckled. “Make me.” Was all that he said.

You groaned, “You fucking brat.”

Wooyoung wasn’t a patient man, and all the patience he had left his body the minute you pinned him against the wall. He placed a hand at the back of your neck and pulled you up to kiss him. Your lips connected, and he took control of the kiss, his other arm coming up to wrap around your waist, keeping you close to him. Your hands came up to grip onto his jacket for some sense of stability, as you were taken by surprise by his kiss.

You didn’t really mind kissing him, it just shocked you that he actually did it. As much as you found the man annoying, it was more annoying how attractive he was. Like he didn’t need to be that hot, nor did he need to be that annoying half the time. You found yourself kissing him back after the shock wore off, and he smirked into the kiss as he felt you return it. He still was in clear control of the kiss, but he was happy to feel you kissing him. He had finally gotten to you, and all it took was grabbing you. He should have tried that sooner.

Finally, the need for both of you to breathe won, and you pulled away as he leaned his head back against the wall. Your cheeks were flushed, and by gods did he love the look on your face, lips slightly swollen and a bit of a dazed look in your eyes.

“I really should have done that sooner.” He commented, chuckling at your lack of response.

“You’re still a fucking brat.” You told him, after you came back to your senses, to which he burst out laughing. 

“But I’m a brat that you kissed, so really, how much of a brat can I be?” He replied. 

You just groaned in response, pulling away from him and resuming your journey to the library. He watched you leave, before running after you as he yelled for you to wait up. You didn’t of course, but he managed to catch up, slinging an arm around your shoulders.

“So are we gonna do that again? Hmm?” He questioned.

“In your dreams, Wooyoung.” You said.

“You called me Wooyoung, finally!” He celebrated.

“Jung, shut up.” You ordered him, to which he deflated at the use of his last name once again.

“Come onnnn, please use my name again. It sounds like heaven when I hear it fall from your lips.” He whined, to which you smirked.

“Beg me then.” That was all you told him.

Everyone they passed looked at how much of a puppy Wooyoung looked, trotting after you and begging for you to call him by your name. More than a few chuckled, as you looked intent on making him continue to beg, only for him to perk up as you finally called him by his first name once again. And yet, you somehow didn't mind him following you around if he acted like that, it was cute how you calling him by his first name made him act like such a puppy.

#ateez x reader #ateez drabbles #ateez imagines #ateez #wooyoung x reader #jung wooyoung x reader #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #wooyoung ateez

[kitskiis]

I think the saddest part about secret life Joel is just how futile all of his actions are in that season. On a surface level i mean stuff like all of his more careful gameplay being cancelled out by a singular failed tnt trap but on a deeper level i specifically mean how that character contrasts with last life Joel. Joel is undoubtedly at his lowest point in the life series in Last Life. He goes down to red in session 2 and spends the majority of the rest of the season alone (and when he does have allies it’s only bc of a shared bloodlust). The red bloodlust completely takes over and this festers for nearly *8 sessions*. Not only that but the one time he is given a chance to restart and go back to yellow his old alliance member goes to red, leaving him alone again, and he is made boogeyman the next session. This, overall, has lasting consequences (he actually wanted to be fairly friendly at the beginning of LL, a stark contrast to how bloodthirsty he was at the beginning of DL or Lim L), and gained him a reputation that has never fully gone away. This is especially bad bc most people agree that LL was the most violent season (despite the lower kill counts in comparison to LimL) and was generally the worst and most traumatizing experience in the games for most people involved. Compare this to secret life, which everyone agrees was definitely the happiest season for Joel (or at least the most normal. His life is a tragedy no matter the season.) he has allies that (for the most part rip mumbo) stick with him until the end, he is friendlier with a larger group of people, and when he initially has to deal with the loss of some of them he has people who can ground him (bc as much as I adore the bad boys, grian was not qualified to do that). He was so hopeful that season, and was generally in a much healthier place mentally. And yet, despite how much he seemed to have grown, those 2 seasons ended so similarly for him it was almost comical. Joel engaged in a fight at the end, watched his ally get killed by scott, and is then forced into a 2v1 against Scott and another player that results in Scott taking his final life and him finishing 5th overall. I was describing both of those seasons here. After everything he did to grow, after all the improvements he had made, everything ended *exactly the same*

Making this about the bad boys for a second (because I’m me) they kinda suffer similar fates. Grian learned in the most tragic way possible that his allies were doomed to fail as long as he was with them no matter what, that this was not something that he could control by simply avoiding killing them himself. Even when he actively tries to save them (“let Tim do it he needs the time” “Joel you can kill me!”) he’ll still lose them in the end. I think this realization is also what made him stop trying to fight it, which resulted in him killing or almost killing his allies from previous seasons immediately afterwards (stabbing scar in the back and that one scene where grian kinda ominously jumps with a sword like he was about to crit and kill bigb after finding out he had 50 seconds left on his timer). It’s sorta like a way of telling the universe “fine. You win”

Similarly Jimmy. Well. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Even when he was given hope that things could be different, that he could break the curse, he died only a few minutes later. I still hold on to the narrative that the watchers only allowed that to happen to give Jimmy false hope that things can be different only to rip the rug out from under him and drive home the point that he is in a losing battle because by the time of secret life Jimmy was one of the only few people who genuinely still believed he had a chance. Obviously this is not something that can fully be a reality until he goes out first next season so if he doesn’t that’s a little awkward but just work with me here

TLDR; here is reason number 672 on why I believe the bad boys are the most doomed motherfuckers on this server and their alliance is a modern tragedy

#no one will ever hate the bad boys more than the narrative #trafficblr #life series #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #grian #solidaritygaming #jimmy solidarity #the bad boys #secret life #limited life #last life #can you tell the brain rot has gotten really really bad

[oddinary4bts]

The Forgotten Spaces | ch 5 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: a cancer joke about eating a burned marshmallow, mentions about Jungkook's injury/scars, alcohol, curses, a hot tub, a game of Truth or Dare; explicit content: hickeys, grinding, fingering, jerking off, big dick!Jungkook, unprotected sex (please don't be stupid), choking; angst

☆word count: 15.7k (oop)

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: SMUT IS HERE EVERYONE. I hope you enjoy reading this one!! Thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Friday, July 6th

                It’s a strange thing, how when you’ve been working on something for months, the concretisation of it passes so quickly it’s like it never happened. The auditions were like that: you barely remember yesterday. All you remember is the moment you stepped out of the scene, breath ragged, and Jungkook high-fived the whole crew.

You don’t remember listening to the results. You remember the bubbling excitement as the name of the crew wasn’t said until the very last. But you don’t remember hearing the mention you got. The highest of every crew that auditioned from your state.

Because auditions for nationals are also a competition in and of itself. An innerstate competition, and you still can’t believe you got the highest mention of your level. It’s like a dream, and everything has been moving too slow, or too fast, for you to interpret.

Yesterday was a fever dream indeed. And the whole crew knows that it’s thanks to Jungkook. He refuses every congratulation you’ve all offered him, but it’s him. You wouldn’t have gotten the diamond mention without him.

Diamond… a perfect score. You landed a perfect score on your auditions to nationals.

You will get ripped up to pieces at nationals, won’t you? It makes you anxious, but then again, you’re not sure if it’s because you will have to perform at the top of your art in a few months, or because you’re sitting between Jungkook and Heather on the backseat of Hobi’s car.

Probably the latter.

You’re lucky. You were able to rent a cottage an hour and a half outside of the city, next to a small artificial lake. It was previously rented by another group, but they cancelled a few days ago, which let you have the cottage for the whole weekend.

But you don’t think you’re lucky to be sitting between Jungkook and Heather. Though both of them have been dozing off for a while.

  You’ve just been clutching your phone for dear life, because Jungkook’s head lolled to the side until he found your shoulder to be a pillow. It’s not that you mind it. You mostly mind the way Jiho’s been looking at you with the biggest shit-eating grin on her lips. She’s already taken pictures, and you’ve been planning her murder for the last fifteen minutes.

[2:37 pm] Jiho❣️: attached photo [2:37 pm] Jiho❣️: u’re so mad lmao [2:38 pm] You: delete this picture immediately or i’ll end ur miserable life [2:38 pm] Jiho❣️: 😘😘😘😘😘 [2:38 pm] You: 😤😤😤😤😤 [2:38 pm] You: and Scottie deciding not to come???? Even worse [2:38 pm] You: he’s a traitor😩 [2:39 pm] Jiho❣️: u’re just mad bc now u and jk are the only single people attending [2:39 pm] You: last i checked heather and bridget weren’t official official🙄

Jiho snorts on the front passenger seat, and Hobi throws her a curious look. She shakes her head to indicate that it’s nothing, and you watch as she types her reply.

[2:40 pm] Jiho❣️: bitch plz😂 [2:40 pm] You: besides u’re gonna share a room with me🥺

Jiho laughs out loud this time, and you wonder if the glare you bore into her profile has any effect at all. She just glances at you, an eyebrow cocked prettily. You know what that means: no. No she won’t be sleeping with you. You’re going to have to sleep on the couch, because couples get the rooms. Lance made that rule, and even though you were desperate to not let it take effect, everyone but Jungkook was against you.

You’re not usually in agreement with Jungkook. But for that you were, and you hoped the others would take it into account. You’re stupid for thinking that they would.

Jungkook sighs in his sleep, readjusting himself until he’s even closer to you. You gulp, glancing at him with a scared look on your features. You want to push him away, but he looks so peaceful you just let him be.

[2:44 pm] You: why is he sleeping on me tho [2:45 pm] Jiho❣️: i’d sleep on u too [2:45 pm] You: u can if we share a room👉🏼👈🏼 [2:45 pm] Jiho❣️: nice try but no😇

You whine, and Jiho chuckles.

“What’s up with you two?” Hobi asks, and you meet his gaze in the rear view mirror.

Jiho shrugs. “Y/n is just mad that she’s going to sleep on the couch.

“I can let her sleep with you,” Hobi says, ever so the pacifist and kind man that he is.

“Yes!” you burst out.

It gains you a whine from Jungkook and a glare from Heather, before she rests her head back against the window and dozes off again.

“No,” Jiho refuses. “I want my sexy time.”

Hobi burns bright red as you let out, “Ew”.

Jiho winks at you over her shoulder, and then you all fall silent again. The cottage is still at least fifty minutes away, so you steel yourself as Jungkook shifts again. He mumbles in his sleep and you almost let out a startled yelp when his hand moves on your thigh. He’s not holding you, just resting his closed fist on the top of your thigh. But it’s still way too much touching for your comfort, so you push him away.

He frowns but doesn’t wake up, resting his head against the window with a sigh instead. His mouth falls open a little, and you keep a laugh in. He looks stupidly cute like that. It’s a disgusting thought – Jeon Jungkook is anything but cute – but you let it slide for today. Maybe because you can’t bring yourself to care.

You eventually fall asleep, the low music Jiho’s been playing lulling you to sleep. It’s much deserved sleep after all the anxiety of yesterday, and you only wake when the car comes to a full stop, and car doors slam shut.

You wake up with a start, ready to fight whoever made the noises, and you realize you’re alone in the car. With Jungkook, who has a tight-lipped smile on his lips when your gazes meet.

“You drool when you sleep,” he tells you, and you furrow your brow as you wipe your cheek.

Sure enough, you were drooling. It takes you a few seconds to realize he’s got a wet spot on his shoulder, and you reckon you woke up with your head rested against something. Something that suspiciously felt like Jungkook’s shoulders.

“Mmh,” you sleepily let out. “Sorry.”

He smiles. Sweetly. It starts with his eyes, as you’ve realized it usually happens when he smiles genuinely. “It’s all good. You looked peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

You echo his smile, nodding your head once before stretching your arms. It makes you yawn, which in turn makes him laugh. “What?” you ask.

“You slept like thirty minutes and you’re still tired.”

You glare at him. “I’m always tired.”

“Right.”

It’s a weird conversation, and it’s even weirder that you’re still sitting in the car. So you motion towards the door as you unbuckle your seatbelt, and Jungkook has a light tint on his cheeks as he nods and opens the door before stepping out. He stretches when he’s outside, and you scooch out of the car, imitating him as soon as your feet touch the ground.

“Gosh,” you let out, and he laughs.

“Yeah.”

You glance at him, and then your gaze slides to the landscape surrounding you. To the picturesque cottage that looks even better than what you had pictured, all made of logs. It looks straight out of a fairy tale. It’s cozied up in a little forest, and the wind that picked up earlier today still makes the leaves dance. It’s loud, like the sound of waves at sea, but it’s more constant. It doesn’t recede, and it creates a background soundtrack to the summer afternoon. The sun is still high in the sky, shining bright with not even a single cloud in sight. The air smell of the woods, and bugs fly around aimlessly, or following an aim only they know. The car is parked in the shadows, but you still feel the heat, and you’re glad there’s a breeze.

You take it all in with a bright smile on your lips, and it only grows wider when Jiho and Hobi rush out of the cottage.

“This is heaven,” Jiho declares. “I’m never leaving this place.”

“She says that because she saw the hot tub from the balcony,” Hobi says as he motions over his shoulder to the cottage.

It makes you laugh, and it turns into a giggle as Jiho grabs your hand and pulls you behind her. “While you men unpack the car we’re going to take a walk to the lake.”

“How is that fair?” Jungkook complains, but he’s grinning when you meet his gaze over your shoulder. You offer him an apologetic shrug of your shoulders, and he just chuckles before turning towards the car.

Lance’s car is pulling up the dirt road when you turn on the side of the house. You wave at Chaeyeon and him, but they don’t notice you as Jiho only keeps pulling you behind her.

“Look at this!” she says giddily as you walk to the back of the house. “It’s so pretty.”

It really is. The house is nestled right next to a small lake, with a few trees separating the building and the water. There’s a hot tub on the right, and a small rock path that leads to a quay in the water. You notice a fireplace area, though it’s not a circle of rocks like you had imagined, but an actual metal fireplace with a door that’s currently swinging on its hinges in the wind. Logs are piled beside it, just waiting for someone to ignite a fire.

Jiho’s giddiness is contagious, and you find yourself giggling as she pulls you towards the lake. There’s a small shed down by the lake, and a look through the window shows you two kayaks. It makes you even giddier, and you clap your hands before turning towards the quay.

The quay moves as you step on it. Fortunately, the water is not very deep and the lake is relatively calm even with the wind. You’re able to make it to the end of it without it shaking too much, and Jiho closes her eyes as she tilts her head back. “We should come here every weekend.”

You laugh. “As fun as that sounds like, we can’t skip practice every weekend.”

“We can practice here,” she points out, shrugging.

She’s not wrong, so you just smile and nod before imitating her, taking in the sun. But you feel a little bad for those inside that are setting up the house, so it’s not even a minute later when you say, “We should go help the others”.

Jiho whines, and she opens one eye to look at you. You cock an eyebrow and she rolls her eyes. “Fine.”

You walk back up the little slope until you reach the cottage. When you make it to the front, you see that a third car has arrived: Jin, Valeria, Taehyung, Jo and Bridget are all stretching outside of it. Jo notices you and waves happily.

You think it’s funny that she is here. It’s weird to think that even though she isn’t part of the dance crew, she’s still made her way into the friend group. Like Jin, Valeria and Taehyung, you reckon. Though you barely know Jin and Valeria. But you needed more people to rent this cottage, and considering it was the only one available, you didn’t really have a choice.

You move to their group to greet them, and then you help them unpack the car. You also help Lance, who was the one in charge with food and speakers for music. It takes a moment, but soon enough everything is settled. You’re all already hungry though, so you prepare the first meal of the weekend.

Well, you watch Jungkook, Jin, Valeria and Heather prepare it. You’re on washing dishes duty though, but you’ll only do that after you eat.

It’s fun. Cheerful. A little bubble outside of the seriousness of practice and nationals and auditions that you really can’t remember, can you? The light atmosphere is much needed, and you drink as you eat, and drink some more after washing the dishes. Then you all set out to explore outside, and Lance and Jin have a fire running by the time Jungkook figures out how to get the hot tub working. It’s still hot outside though, so you decide to wait before going into the tub, but Bridget, Heather, Chaeyeon and Jo all move to it. You stay with Jiho and the others by the fire, listening to the cracking of the logs as you talk and talk and talk.

There’s laughter. A lot of it. Laughter that turns more drunk as the evening unfolds, and the sun has set by the time you get up from your spot to go pee inside. The girls have come out of the tub, and they’re taking turns in the shower upstairs, so you head to the downstairs bathroom. You’re on the way out when Jo stops you.

She says your name, offering you a bright smile. “Are you in for some shots before we head outside? I’m taking some with the others.”

Sure enough, Chaeyeon, Bridget and Heather all look at you expectantly, and you don’t hesitate even a second before agreeing. You go outside with Jo and Chaeyeon after, as you all laugh when Bridget and Heather say they’ll take a shower together. You figure it’s better to let them have the house for a time, and you all join the rest of the group by the fire.

They’ve started playing some music and singing over it, and you laugh as Hobi belts a tune as if his life depends on it. Jungkook joins him and your eyes widen a little as you hear his voice.

Jungkook can sing. His voice is melodious, clear and full and round. It’s beautiful, the voice of an angel. You feel struck as you watch him, and he bursts out laughing when Hobi messes up the lyrics next to him.

You’ve stopped walking. And Jungkook meets your gaze, offering you a small smile before returning to the action around him. It strikes you, in a weird kind of way. It makes a weird feeling form in your chest, that same feeling you felt last week when you saved his number in your phone.

It’s not a feeling you like. So you push it aside as you join Jiho in her chair, sitting on her lap and stealing the bottle of soju she’s been drinking from. You need more alcohol in your blood, and soon.

It’s night by the time the group moves again. Some of them decide to go to the lake, but you stay by the fire as Valeria and Jin bring marshmallows out. Heather and Bridget never came out after their shower, and you don’t quite feel like going inside to find them.

Instead, you start roasting marshmallows, and soon enough you’re the elected marshmallow roaster, because you’re the only one who’s managed to not make them catch fire. You make some for everyone, before roasting one for yourself.

Since Jungkook has been the one feeding the fire for the last hour, it also makes it so you’re sitting next to him. The conversation is lively around you, but you’ve noticed he’s silent. He’s just staring at the fire, and it casts a dancing glow on his features.

He notices you looking at him, and his features soften as he turns to look at you. And then he bursts out laughing, and you do too as you notice your marshmallow has caught fire.

“Oops,” you mumble.

“I know I’m pretty but you should focus on the job at hand,” he teases you.

You punch him in the shoulder, before blowing on the fire until it dies. “Still edible if you ask me,” you say as you eye the burned thing on the branch you’ve been using since you started roasting marshmallows.

“Oh, clearly,” he agrees. “If you want to get cancer, that is.”

You glare at him, and he only laughs. “What’s life without a little risk?”

“Boring,” he answers wisely, face falling serious, though he only manages to keep the serious look for a few seconds before he’s breaking into yet another fit of laughter. One you echo before taking a bite of the marshmallow. You hum in delight, and Jungkook says, “What the fuck was that?”

You have the decency to blush. “What?”

“You’re not really the kind of person that moans when they eat good food?”

“I wasn’t moaning,” you let out outrageously.

It gains everybody’s attention around the fire, and Jungkook laughs at you. You shove him in the shoulder again, but he annoyingly barely moves in his chair.

“Who’s moaning?” Lance asks.

Both you and Jungkook look startled for a time, and you glare at him. “No one, Jeon’s just being a little shit.”

“What’s new?” Jiho jokes, and everyone laughs.

The trio that went to the lake comes back – Taehyung, Jo and Hobi. Jo scans the people around the fire, brows knitting together.

“Where are Bridget and Heather?”

The whole group laughs. “They never came out,” Chaeyeon admits. “I’d advise to not go looking for them.”

Jo snorts. “Oof yeah, that’s a no for me.”

It’s not even that funny, yet everyone laughs as the trio settles around the fireplace. Hobi and Jiho share a chair, and you realize there’s no chair for Jo and Taehyung. You’re about to offer yours when they just sit directly in the grass, giggling like the two idiots in love that they are. They lie down after a few seconds, and Jo points up at the sky.

It makes you look up, and you suddenly feel very small, under the immensity of the night sky. It sobers you up, just a little, and you sit back in the chair to get a good look. You admire the stars and constellations, searching for those you know. It leads to everyone doing so, and it also creates a calmer atmosphere, until half the group is dozing off in their chair.

Someone changed the music to softer tunes, and you really listen to the night sounds now, as the melody entwines with the cracking of the logs. Soon enough, Jin and Valeria decide to go to bed. Jungkook immediately teases the older guy, saying that only elderly people go to bed so early. Jin just throws a marshmallow at Jungkook, who receives it right on the forehead. He looks stunned, and he raises his middle finger at Jin as he just laughs where he’s leading Valeria inside. Chaeyeon and Lance are the next to go, and your gaze trails them until they stop to kiss. You give them privacy then, focusing on the fire instead.

It leaves only you, Jungkook, Jo, Taehyung, Jiho and Hobi by the fire, and you sigh in content as Jungkook throws another log into the fire.

“Last one, I assume?” he lets out.

The group mumbles in agreement.

“We’ll party harder tomorrow,” Jiho promises before yawning.

It makes everyone yawn, and you laugh tired laughs as you watch the flames licking up the log.

“We should set up a beer pong table,” you suggest.

Taehyung seems to spark to life at the idea. “I’m so in for some beer pong.”

“What about a tournament?” Jungkook proposes. “Losers have to jump in the lake.”

Jiho winces. “I hope Hobi’s good because there’s no way in hell I’m jumping in the lake.”

“I got you, babe.”

You notice them exchanging a long look. It’s filled with love, grossly so, and you roll your eyes before settling your gaze on the stars above once more. You let out a happy yelp when a shooting star crosses the sky.

“Oh my God!”

Jo is just as happy as you are. “Oh shit!” she echoes. “We have to make a wish.”

You laugh, nodding your head repeatedly. The four others just look at you curiously, before Jo explains that there was a shooting star.

Everyone’s eyes are back on the night sky in no time, and you reckon you might fall asleep like this.

Stargazing, and wishing that you’ll find your own person soon enough.

Saturday, July 7th

                “I’ll kill you.”

Jungkook smiles, and the breeze of the afternoon catches in his hair, making a strand fall in his eyes. He pushes his hair back. “I’d like to see you try.”

Something changed. He knows something changed between the two of you. It’s exciting, in a childish kind of way. He feels young next to you, and he’s been following you around all day, claiming that he wants to avoid the couples. Which is not entirely a lie, but he mostly wants to be around you.

It’s a new feeling. Or almost entirely new, because he felt like that around you once before. The night after he told you about his accident. He’s pushed that away since then, but it seems being here, at this cottage in the middle of nature, brings it out.

He’s been failing at pushing it away since last night, and he reckons he doesn’t even want to try anymore.

You put your hands on your hips, tilting your head to the side. Your hair sways in the wind, and he wants to brush it behind your shoulder. He resists, because he’s pretty sure you’ll bite his head off if he does.

“You’re the one that suggested kayaking.”

He did. But throwing you in the water seems like twice the fun, so he’s been teasing you about it as you stand next to the shed.

“Maybe it was just a trap?” he says, winking at you. He takes a step towards you, and you immediately take a step back.           

Jo and Taehyung are sitting on the quay, watching the water and talking in hushed tones. Jungkook feels Jo’s gaze on him, and he resists glancing at her.

He knows what she thinks. She’s made it pretty clear in the last week. Maybe it’s contributed to the softness in him whenever he watches you.

Maybe.

“You’re annoying.”

“But yet you came with me?”

You squint your eyes, shaking your head. “Not with you. I came to kayak.”

“Right.”

“I swear.”

He bursts out laughing, and it’s his turn to shake his head. “Of course, of course.”

“Why are you…” you start before letting out a strangled sound. “I’m going back to the house.”

“No!” he immediately says, a little louder than necessary. This time, both Taehyung and Jo look at you two. “I’m just teasing, let me bring the kayak out.”

He’s blushing. He feels it coming up slowly from deep within his chest, so he quickly turns towards the shed and goes in. A few spiders are hiding in their webs, and he swats one away from the first kayak. He almost hesitates to leave it in just to spook you, but he doesn’t really want to spook you right now. Not when his heart is beating just a little quicker.

He doesn’t know if he likes it. But he’ll roll with it for the rest of the weekend, because he doesn’t think he’ll have the opportunity to do so after that.

He brings out the two kayaks before going back for the paddles, and a moment later he’s helping you to sit in yours, holding your hand while you step in it before sitting. Jo and Taehyung are watching now, barely even talking, and Jungkook can’t wait until you’ve moved away from the quay.

He hates the way the couple has been watching you both. It feels like he’s under pressure, and he knows he doesn’t do well under pressure. Except when it came to dance, but that’s long gone now.

He gets into his own kayak as you’re already starting to move away.

“Bye losers,” you say towards Taehyung and Jo.

“Try not to drown,” Jo replies as she waves you off.

You laugh, a crystal clear laugh that makes Jungkook very aware of how Taehyung is looking at him. He catches his older friend’s gaze, furrowing his brow.

Taehyung glances down at Jungkook’s attire – a pair of pants. He looks like he wants to say something, and Jungkook knows what.

He’s not going to wear shorts. Not when it’d put his scar on display to the whole crew. He hasn’t gotten the courage to tell everyone yet, and he doesn’t want to be forced to explain anything. He just wants to focus on being in the present, because he hasn’t done that in a while.

So he glares at Taehyung, clenching his jaw. Taehyung sighs before looking away. Just like that the moment passes, and Jungkook settles in his kayak before quickly following you.

“Is it a race or something?” he asks as he moves closer.

You look at him over your shoulder, a bright smile on your lips that turns mischievous as soon as your gaze finds his. “It is and you’re losing.”

Now, bringing out his competitive side is a bad idea, but that’s who you are, isn’t it?

Jungkook pushes the paddle in the water harder, accelerating his rhythm. It makes you screech, and you quickly do the same. Your lean arms are nothing against his though, and he’s caught up to you in no time. Unable to resist, he splashes water on you.

“Jungkook!” you scream. “I’m trying not to wet my hair!”

“Oh are you?” He does it again, this time purposefully aiming for your head. You dodge but to no avail.

“I’ll murder you,” you threaten, and you send water flying his way.

He barely gets any on himself, and he cocks an eyebrow arrogantly. “Is that the best you can do?”

It pisses you off. He sees it in the way resolve fills your face, and he’s not surprised he’s thoroughly drenched by the time you finally stop. He’s just accepted defeat and let you splash him as he laughs. You laugh too, and he reckons it’s his favourite thing about you.

The way you laugh when you’re being a brat. It’s endearing.

He’s endeared by you. That’s what the feeling is. He’s been trying to put words on it since last night. Last night it was struck. He was struck as you spoke to him with that soft edge to you. And then it turned to endearment.

He reckons he missed you, while he was hiding from all of the crew because of his accident. He really did. Something about you was missing from his life.

He pushes the thoughts away as you stop splashing him.

“Oops,” you say when he meets your gaze.

His hair is wet, and he puts the paddle down to push it back. He doesn’t miss the way your eyes follow his motion, and the furrow of your brows before you frustratingly look away.

“I’m debating making you fall in the water,” he teases, pursing his lips before playing with his piercing.

Your gaze widens. “You wouldn’t dare.”

He moves his paddle in the water to get closer to you, and you quickly move away.

“I would definitely dare,” he tells you. “I’m all wet because of you.”

His brows knit together as he realizes what he just said sounded suspicious. Of course you burst out laughing, before saying, “That’s what she said”.

He rolls his head to the back of his head. “Lame.”

“You’re lame,” you counter-back.

It’s like that for the rest of the time you spend on the water. Even though he threatened to throw you in the water many times today, Jungkook doesn’t really want to do it. He likes the peace between the two of you: he’s not going to do something to fuck it up.        

You eventually get bored of kayaking, and you switch places with Chaeyeon and Bridget when the two of you return to the quay. Jo and Taehyung have gone back to the house, but Lance, Heather, Jin and Valeria are there, and you sit with them for a while, just talking.

Mindlessly, Jungkook pulls his shirt up to dry his face from the last of the water you splashed on him before getting out of the water.

He realizes his mistake only when the shirt falls back in place, and Lance is watching him with round eyes.

“What’s that scar?”

Jungkook stills. Unmoving, barely even able to breathe. The air is suddenly less warm, and he can almost see the snow again. His heart constricts in his chest, and he just stares back at Lance as if he’s a doe caught in headlights.

“You don’t just ask people why they have scars, Lance,” you grumble.

It surprises Jungkook that you said something. But then again you’re not the type to back down from a fight.

Lance seems startled by the tone of your voice. He frowns as his gaze slides to you. “It was just a question?”

“It could make people uncomfortable?”

Jin is looking at Jungkook. He’s got a careful expression on his features, and he looks between you and Jungkook a couple of times. As if this moment matters, and truthfully it does matter to Jungkook, because you’re bickering with Lance and it entirely shifted the attention away from him.

Jungkook manages to shrug his shoulders at Jin, who offers him a no-bullshit look. Valeria punches him in the arm, and Jin lets out a startled sound that has everyone looking at him.

The moment passes, and it’s dinner time when Lance moves closer to Jungkook, clearly having waited until you aren’t around to actually approach him. Jungkook steels himself for the questioning, but Lance only says, “Whatever happened, I’m glad you’re okay, bro”.

It renders Jungkook speechless, and all he can do is nod his head at Lance. Lance claps him on the shoulder, and he immediately walks away, as if his job here is done.

And maybe it is, and all he wanted to do was prove that he’s Jungkook’s friend. It makes Jungkook appreciate him ten times more, and then he takes a moment to really look at everyone. The girls are all laughing about a story Jin is telling, and Taehyung is just shaking his head in disbelief where he’s grilling the meat for dinner. Lance moves towards Taehyung to offer help, and Jungkook just stays alone for a moment, enjoying the scene.

The sun is setting, the air is warm and the light breeze from today has fallen. But the air is not still, and it smells of the rich soil of the forest, and of the meat Taehyung is grilling. The sky is still void of any clouds, and it’s turned to a rich golden glow from the setting sun.

Jungkook is stricken, once again, by the fact that he is alive. He’s alive and breathing and even though his leg hurts, he’s standing. He’s standing and walking and yes he can’t dance anymore, but there’s so much more to life than dance, isn’t there?

His eyes slide to you as he thinks the thought. You’re looking at Jin with a little smirk, the one he knows you use when you’re judging someone. But you feel his eyes on you and your gaze meets his. The smirk falls into a small, secretive smile, and Jungkook breathes in sharply.

His heart is beating a little louder, and this time he does push it away. He does try not to think of it, but it’s hard when you look at him like that. With that soft edge he saw yesterday. It fills him with wonder, the same wonder he got from watching the night sky the day before.

You’re like a star in a bleary night. It’s hard to look away from you, and he only does so when Taehyung says the meat is ready. It’s like someone cut the string between you and him, and he almost stumbles forward as he glances to Taehyung.

He gulps, taking a deep, steadying breath before he moves to help Taehyung bring the food to the table. Lance helps too, and the three of them together make quick work of filling everyone’s plate, and Jungkook soon settles down in a chair next to you, right in front of Jo.

Dinner is fun. Cheery, with lots of laughter. Everyone is already a little tipsy from the day-drinking you’ve all done, and Jungkook feels like there’s more than alcohol in his blood this evening. There are feelings, joy and happiness to be here in this moment.

He should live in the moment more often.

“Hey JK,” Jo says, and he raises his eyes from his plate.

His fork is halfway to his mouth when he lets out, “Uh?”

“How is it going with Laura?”

Everything inside of him stills, like it did earlier today with Lance but for a completely different reason this time. He freezes, and he doesn’t miss the way your head immediately snaps towards him at Jo’s question.

Jo has an insufferable smile on her lips, and Jungkook just can’t move.

Laura. She’s a girl from his class that started texting him a few weeks ago. He’s seen her once, just because she said she had questions about her camera and it would be easier if Jungkook answered in person. Laura is a sweet girl. Pretty too, but Jungkook doesn’t know if their talking will lead anywhere. He doesn’t feel like he’s ready to jump headfirst into a relationship.      

Especially not as he feels your expectant gaze on his profile.

“Laura?” he repeats.

“Didn’t you go on a date with her?” Jo asks.

Jungkook frowns, shaking his head. “It wasn’t a date,” he points out. “She needed help with her new camera.”

About that. Jungkook brought a camera with him this weekend. He’s been taking pictures once in a while, mostly of nature. Because he’s always been more of a landscape photographer. Maybe because landscapes tend to change less than people. They feel unbreakable, immovable, and it’s reassuring in some way.

“That sounds like the lamest start of a porno,” Lance jokes.

Everyone laughs. Everyone but you and Jungkook. Jungkook only shrugs, before saying, “I didn’t sleep with her”.

You scoff next to him. It aggravates him, something you haven’t made him feel in a while now. His brows knit together as he turns his head toward you.

“You want us to believe you didn’t sleep with her?” you let out.

It’s bitter. And you seem to realize it quite at the same time as he does, because you flush red, and you look away from him to glance down at your half-empty plate on the table.

Jungkook’s features relax, and a smile even tugs at the corners of his lips. He knows what Jo is doing. Especially as he sees the knowing smirk on her lips.

She dared him to find a way to make you jealous earlier this week, when he invited her and Taehyung to the cottage. As if making you jealous is a good idea.

He now sees what she meant. Because you’re playing with your food, a look of confusion creased into your features. It’s cute, and it makes the same feeling arise in him.

Everyone starts talking again, but Jungkook feels the weight of Taehyung and Jin’s gazes on him. He avoids them like the plague, focusing on trying to keep his smile in. He doesn’t want to infuriate you by making a comment.

Especially not when you’ve been forced to team up for the beer pong tournament. Which, turns out you’re a lot better than he thought you would be. Than you said you were, because you make it to the final round, getting beaten by Bridget and Heather out of all people. The two girls celebrate to the sounds of everyone whooping and cheering, and Jungkook can’t keep his smile in.

Tonight promises to be quite the party. And it is. With lots of drinking, and Chaeyeon and Lance having to jump into the lake because they were last in the tournament. It’s funny, but it leads to them deciding to go to bed early, saying something about being cold from the lake.

Jungkook knows exactly what they have in mind when he sees them staring at each other the way that they are. Like they’re alone in the universe, and maybe to them they really are.

He’s surprised when the rest of the group starts to follow Chaeyeon and Lance. The night is younger than it was yesterday when it came to an end, but there’s something in the air. It brings the couples closer together, makes them exchange secretive glances and stolen touches. Jungkook finds Taehyung and Jo making out outside of the bathroom when he goes in to pee, and they never come out after that. Jin and Valeria move in not even five minutes later, right before Hobi and Jiho, and it leaves Bridget, Heather and you alone with him outside.

He’s not surprised when the two girls decide to go to sleep too, even though Jungkook has just started the hot tub at Bridget’s request. It leaves him alone with you and the red solo cup in his hand. It’s filled to the brim and, quite frankly, Jungkook doesn’t feel tired at all. He feels alive, awake and ready to conquer the world if need be.

You look exactly like that too.

“Wow,” you let out once everyone is gone.

Jungkook feels awkward for half a heartbeat. But then his eyes slide to the house, and he notices Jo in the window. She quickly dips out of his line of sight, which makes him understand exactly what happened.

You’ve been left alone outside on purpose, and Jo’s the one that schemed the whole thing.

“They’re boring,” Jungkook says, though he feels like laughing. He hopes you don’t notice.

“They didn’t even go into the hot tub,” you point out. “What a waste of energy.”

He glances at the tub, and an idea forms in the back of his mind. He doubts you’re going to say yes.

*****

                You don’t know why you said yes. Going into a hot tub alone with Jungkook sounds like a very bad idea, and the more you think about it the worse it seems to you. Yet you make your way outside after having put on your black two-piece swimsuit, wrapped in a white towel you fished from the bathroom.

The house was eerily quiet when you and Jungkook went in to change. It is still just as quiet as you get out of the bathroom, and aim for the kitchen to make yourself a glass before you go outside. You notice Jungkook is already out there, testing the temperature of the water. He’s wearing trunks, and he got rid of his t-shirt, discarding it on a chair next to the slowly dying fire. He turns towards the window as you’re pouring a glass, probably to see if you’re coming. It’s not your fault when your eyes dip down to his leg.

Even in the darkness you see the angry knot of skin that runs from below his knee and disappears in his swim trunks. It’s ugly, and your heart stops beating for a few seconds as you see it. Jungkook was right when he told you about his accident the first time – the scar on his leg is far scarier than the one on his stomach.

You wave back at him as he waves, a dumb smile on his lips. You focus on that smile, because you don’t want to be thinking of the scar. Don’t want to be thinking about the pain Jungkook must have endured. The pain he is still enduring to this day.

You’re hesitant when you step outside, though you make sure to bring a glass for him too. He’s still smiling when you arrive, and it only widens when you hand him the red solo cup.

“Thought you might want a refill.”

He tilts his head to the side, winking at you as he grabs the glass. “Always.”

You move towards the tub, ignoring the way you feel his gaze on you. It makes you self-conscious, and you don’t want to peel the towel from around yourself. You reckon you can’t get in the water with it though, so you carefully put your glass down on the side of the tub before taking the towel off, leaving it on the same chair where Jungkook’s shirt is.

“It might be a little hot,” Jungkook warns as you move back to the tub. “I adjusted the temperature a little while I was waiting for you.”

You dip your fingers in the water, shrugging your shoulders. “Seems good enough to me.”

He laughs, and his eyes follow you as you climb into the tub. The water is hot, extremely so, but you’re drunk and the jet of the tub looks far too inviting for you to wait.

“Alright then, guess I’ll get in too.”

You watch as he does so, and your eyes once again fall to his scar. It stretches weirdly as he bends his leg, as if it doesn’t really allow him full movements anymore. It explains why his dancing has turned mechanical now, and why he can’t move the way that he did before.           

He’s noticed your gaze on the scar while getting in. You know it, because his features have fallen serious by the time he sits in front of you.

“I know, it’s ugly,” he says, and his eyes get lost in the bubbles in the water.

You remain silent for a time, waiting for his gaze to meet yours. When it does, you finally say, “Nothing about you is ugly”.

It’s smooth, the way you say it. It makes his eyes widen and a laugh bursts from his lips. You don’t even know why you flirted with him – you just had an inkling it’d make him fall back into his usual cocky self.

And of course it does.

“You think I’m hot?”

You roll your eyes, before grabbing your red solo cup from where you left it. Jungkook grabs his own, and it takes a few seconds before you’re settled back into your seat. You take a small sip from the glass, letting the rum and coke swirl in your mouth for a second before you swallow.

“I’m not going to answer that question.”

He smirks. “Then I’ve got my answer.”

You squint your eyes, fake glaring at him, and it only makes him laugh.

“You’re insufferable.”

He shrugs his shoulders, and he takes a sip from his glass. He winces then, before raising his eyebrows. “How strong did you make this?”

“Strong enough to have you shut up?”

“Oh please.” He laughs once more. “You know that won’t make me shut up. As a matter of fact, it’s probably just going to make me talk more.”

You chuckle, shaking your head a little. “My mistake.”

Jungkook really is hot, sitting there. His hair is fluffy around his face – it really is a lot longer than it was before. It curls a little at the ends, making a crown around his head. He’s buff too, and it makes you wonder how he manages to work out at the gym even with his injury. And it’s hard not to let your gaze wander to the tattoos on his shoulders, the ink that goes from his hand up to the top of his arm.

He’s attractive, damn him. You hate it, so you say, “So, Laura uh?”

He holds your gaze, his tongue darting out to play with his piercing for a time. “What about her?”

You cock an eyebrow. “You tell me.”

He’s smirking now, and his eyes dip to where your chest disappears in the water before moving up to your features again. “Why do you want to know?”

You feel hot. Not because of the water, though you reckon it really is hot. No, his gaze is burning you, in a way that makes you feel naked. You don’t know if you like it. But two can play this game Jungkook seems to have chosen.

You shrug your shoulders, wetting your lips before smiling. “Just making conversation, Jeon.”

His gaze has moved to your lips. It stays there as he says, “Seems to me like you got a little jealous earlier”.

You refuse to admit that it was jealousy, when Jo mentioned Laura at dinner time. To you, it was just surprise, and you’ve been repeating it to yourself ever since it happened.

“Why would I be jealous?” you ask, brows knitting together as a smile plays on your lips. “You’re nothing to me.”

“Right.” He chuckles, and he drinks from his cup, his gaze burning into yours. “I’m nothing and yet you’re in this hot tub alone with me.”

He’s arrogantly cocky, isn't he? It used to piss you off, but tonight it just makes your blood boil.

“Wasn’t going to waste the opportunity for a hot tub session,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “Unfortunate that it had to come with you though.”

He fakes offence. “You offend me.”

You snort, and his features relax into a small smile. There’s a moment of silence, where you find yourself too much of a coward to keep holding his gaze. It’s your turn to let your gaze wander down to the spot where his chest disappears in the water, and you drink from your cup.

“Do you want to play Truth or Dare?” he suggests after almost a minute without any of you speaking.

You chuckle. “Are we twelve?”

He shrugs. “Just thought it could be fun.” He pouts a little, and it really does make him look like he’s twelve. “Unless you’re too much of a coward for it.”

“Me, a coward?” you scoff, rolling your eyes playfully. “Truth or Dare, Jeon?”

The cocky smirk reappears. “Truth.”

You don’t know what to ask. At all. Your mind goes empty, until he lets out a laugh that gives you an idea. “What’s the deal with Laura?”

“You really want to know, uh?”

You shrug. “You chose truth, now answer the question.”

He laughs a little, and then plays with his piercing for a few seconds. You watch him do so, eyes falling to his lips.

“We hung out once”, he says.

It’s the same answer as earlier, but you feel like a brat right now. So, you press him by saying, “And that’s it? You’re not going to see her again?”

He ponders for a time, making you wait before he replies, “We’re supposed to go on a date sometime next week”.

You feel like maybe you shouldn’t have asked the question. Because his reply makes you clench your jaw, and you take a sip from your cup to hide it. “Jeon Jungkook on a date? Are you having a fever?”

“She’s nice, just thought I’d give it a try,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. He’s still smirking, and this time it’s knowing.

He knows that the thought of him going on a date with Laura is pissing you off. And you don’t even know why it makes you feel like that. You’re not sure you should be feeling like that when it comes to Jeon Jungkook. He’s barely even a friend.

“Hope it goes well for you,” you say, though it sounds tense.

He shrugs, winking at you. “I’ll let you know.” He pauses for a moment, before asking, “Truth or Dare?”

So the conversation about Laura is over then. And he’s a fool if he thinks you’ll say truth.

“Dare.”

He looks far too happy about your choice. “Chug your glass.”

You frown. “But then I won’t have anything to drink if I don’t want to do some of your dares.”

“Oh, we’re playing adult Truth or Dare? Had I known I wouldn’t have answered your question.” You glare at him, and he laughs, shrugging his shoulders. “Just drink, you can always drink from my glass later.”

Your glare intensifies, if that’s possible, but you still give in. You’re not one to back away from a challenge, and you chug your glass in a few long swigs. Your nose scrunches up as you finish, and you put the cup down.

“Happy?” you let out, and he nods with that same insufferable smirk on his lips. You want to wipe it away, but you don’t really know how. Instead, you only ask him, “Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.”

You hate dares. You never know what to suggest. You don’t feel like making him chug his glass, so you cock your head to the side as you survey him, mind reeling for an idea.

“Go get me another glass.”

He’s surprised. So are you, but you think it’s a brilliant idea.

“It’s so far,” he complains, with that same childish pout he used a moment ago. “Can I change for Truth?”

“You’re annoying”, you say, though you don’t really mind.

Something in the way he’s been looking at you makes you want him to stay anyway.

“You’re the one that wants me to go all the way inside.”

You chuckle, before shaking your head. “Alright then, let me find you a truth.” It takes you about half a minute before you come up with an idea. “How many girls have you slept with?”

He snorts. “Wow, straight to the body count I see.” He falls silent again, and his hand plays with the bubbles in the water in front of him.

“So?”

You think he’s blushing. It’s hard to tell in the dim light – indeed, the only light illuminating the scene is the one from next to the door, and the tub’s purple light.

“I’d say…” he trails off, scrunching his nose as he thinks. “Like twenty-five?”

It’s a lot, but not as much as you expected. Jungkook has a fuckboy vibe to him, and you were pretty sure he had at least fifty.

“Only?”

He furrows his brows. “Only?”

“I thought you had more,” you admit, chuckling as you shrug your shoulders.

He sips from his cup. “Sorry to disappoint.” His eyes glint with mischief, and he adds, “Truth or Dare?”

You hesitate, maybe because something in the way his eyes sparkle makes you think he’s got something in mind. You feel it – anticipation is building in you, and some parts of you can already see the outcome before it unfolds. Like a web of possibilities, and the longer he looks at you like that, the more it closes in to the anticipated one.

“Truth.”

He’s silent for a time. His face falls more serious, darker, and he’s so hot sitting there you really have to look away. “If everyone was single here, who would you fuck?”

You refuse to admit his question makes a drop of pure magma roll down your spine, before it moves forward and settles in your core.

“Jiho.” It’s a lie. You both know it, but he lets it slide – for now. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

You hit him with the same question he’s just asked you. His reply is far more cryptic.

“You already know the answer.”

You breathe in shakily, and something tightens inside of you. “Do I?”

His mouth is a little parted, and his tongue darts out to wet his lips before he takes a sip from the cup. He seems to reconsider it, because he chugs the whole thing before putting it down on the side of the tub.

“Do you?”

It confirms the answer. And you don’t know what to make of it. It scares you, somehow, but makes the fire in your burn brighter.

“Truth or dare?” he asks then, and a smirk tugs at the corners of his lips.

“Dare.”

You don’t even hesitate. You’re afraid he’s going to ask you stuff you don’t know the answer to if you choose truth.

“Why don’t you come sit closer, mmh?”

Still no hesitation from you. You’re like the moth and he the flame – you know it’s a bad idea, but you haven’t looked away from his eyes in too long. You’re in a trance, and you think so is he.

You settle next to him. Far enough not to touch, but close enough for every inch between you to fill with electricity. Not that it wasn’t already before – you are just way more conscious of it now.

“Truth or dare?” you ask, and it’s a little breathless, the way you speak.

“Dare,” he says. His eyes are on your lips now, and all you can do for a time is to observe his features. He’s got a mole under his mouth, and a scar on one of his cheeks. It looks old, and it’s so faded you can barely see it.

You have no dare in mind. You feel like you don’t even have any thoughts. You’re stuck looking at his lips, where your gaze settles as you watch his features. “Uh?” you let out.

He chuckles. It’s deep, manly, and it makes you look up to his eyes. “No idea what to ask?”

“You already chugged your glass.”

“There’s nothing else you want me to do?”

There’s a whole lot you want him to do, but a whole lot you don’t want him to do. It’s confusing, and your heart is beating too loud for you to think straight.

“Is there something you want to do?” you ask.

He’s bold. His hand moves up, his fingers lightly touching the side of your neck. “I could kiss your neck.” They trail down until they find a home on your shoulders. “Or I could massage your shoulders, you seem a little tense.”

You are. You are because there is a war of conflicting emotions in you, and you don’t know which side will win. “Massage my shoulders then.”

He laughs, before making you turn. It’s easier to breathe once he’s not in your line of sight anymore, though the moment his hands start working on your shoulders, you tense up again. “Relax,” he murmurs, adding your name at the end.

“You’re making me anxious,” you admit breathlessly.

He stays silent as he works on your shoulders, for so long you think he won’t talk. But then he says, “Why?”

“I don’t know.”

His hands are big, and his fingers are skilled. In a matter of a few minutes he’s undid every knot in your shoulders, and you find yourself able to breathe. You still don’t want to risk looking at him though.

“Truth or dare?” he asks.

Maybe you can be bold too. Maybe you can just focus on every spot where his fingers are digging in your skin. Maybe it doesn’t have to mean anything.

“Dare.”

“Give me a hickey.”

You snort, mostly because it takes you by surprise. “What?”

His hands fall from your shoulders. “You heard me well.”              

“Aren’t hickeys bad for you?” you say, though you’ve never really cared about that. You care about it even less when you hear him move in the water.

“I think everything about you is bad for my sanity right now.” He whispers the words directly into your ear, and goosebumps form on your arms.

“Please don’t think this is going to lead anywhere,” you whisper back, right as you tilt your head to the side. You feel the ghost of his lips on your skin, but he straightens before he’s really done anything.

“Then why are you afraid of giving me a hickey?”

It is a challenge, and you don’t back down from challenges. So you turn around, say fuck it, and lean towards his neck until your mouth finds the spot where it connects with his shoulder. You suck, hard, and he hisses as one of his hands moves to your back, as if he wants to pull you closer.

You run your tongue on the spot you’ve sucked, before straightening. He’s got a deep purple mark there now, and you smirk in satisfaction. “Happy now?”

His chest is moving up and down quickly as he breathes. He’s out of breath, and the insufferable smirk is gone now. He seems a little angry, with a crease between his brows. “Yeah.”

You’re about to succumb to insanity. It’s taking a hold of you, choking you up until you say, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he answers.

He seems just as conflicted as you. But the web of possibilities from earlier dwindled down until there’s only one left, and both of you know it.

“Do you want to fuck me?”

Your heart beats once, and then it stops in your chest. Because you meet him halfway, crashing your mouth on his so hard you think you taste blood. You don’t care: insane people do not care about anything. All you want is to feel his lips against yours, and damn him he’s a good kisser.

It’s intense, languid, and his hands don’t take their time before he’s pulling you on his lap. You straddle him, your own hands finding purchase on his shoulders, before moving up until you’ve cupped his face. And you hold him in place as you kiss, never once breaking away for air.

You don’t need oxygen when you’re kissing Jeon Jungkook. All you need are his lips, and he gives you plenty of that. And when his tongue finds yours, you moan in his mouth.

He swallows it like a man starved.

His hands are on your back. Respectfully so, even as he’s devouring your mouth. It frustrates you, because you want more. You want to feel all of him. It makes you grab a handful of his hair, and you pull his head back.

“Fuck,” he hisses.

“I’m not going to fuck you in a hot tub.”

It’s the only intelligent thing you could think of.

“We can –“

Your lips are back on his before he finishes his sentence, and you suck on his bottom lip, tongue darting out to play with his piercing. This time, he grunts in your mouth, and his hands lose their fight against his will not to touch you more. They move down until he’s cupped your ass, and he makes you grind on him.

You moan, and he breaks away from the kiss, just so he can bend down and leave a trail of hot, wet kisses on the column of your throat. You just let your hands loose in his hair and on his shoulders, nails digging in his skin when he decides to suck a hickey on you too.

You grind again then, and you feel the bulge of him press against you.

“We can’t fuck in the tub,” you say, and your voice is unrecognizable even to yourself. It’s lustful, sinfully so, and you’d be embarrassed if he didn’t meet your gaze with his half-lidded eyes.

“We can go in the shower.”

You’ve never been a fan of shower sex, so you say, “As much as that would probably be a good idea, I won’t fuck you in a shower either.”

He’s confused. You can tell by the way he tilts his head to the side. “Where do you want me to fuck you then? In the middle of the living room?”

It makes you chuckle, and an unexpected smile appears on his lips.

“I don’t think we should fuck.”

His grip on your ass tightens as his features turn dark, and he makes you grind on him again. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, embarrassingly so, as you let out a breathy moan. “Right,” he says.

“Fuck,” you curse.

He leans forward again, and this time his lips find a spot right over the top of your bikini. He sucks on your skin, and you moan as you grind again.

It’s uncomfortable. Not his lips on you, no, but the water of the tub mixed with the fabric of your swimwear. If you didn’t know how unsanitary it is, you would let him fuck you right then and there. But you don’t want to get an infection.

“Let’s go inside.” This time, one of his hands moves from your ass, trailing up your side until he’s grabbed one of your boobs. “Please.”

“Anything for you,” he mumbles against your breast, before straightening.

You kiss him again, just for good measure, and then you push away from him, reluctantly so. You feel his heavy gaze on you as you get out of the tub, and you’ve wrapped yourself in your towel by the time he’s followed you.

You forgot how tall he is. Because as he steps closer to you, towering above you, your mind goes blank again and you just let him crash his lips against yours. He’s holding your face, and his thumbs brush your skin gently before he pulls away. He stays close enough for you to feel his warm breath on you, but far enough so that you can’t reach his lips anymore.

“I need to take a shower,” you murmur.

He nods, and you feel it more than you see it. “Me too.”

“Yeah.”

He chuckles lightly, and he straightens to look up at the sky. His hands are still delicately holding your cheeks, and you watch his sharp jawline for a few seconds before he speaks.

“The stars are beautiful.”

You’re not looking at the night sky when you reply, “Yeah”.

He lets you go, then, but his hand falls until he’s grabbed one of yours. His large hand wraps around yours, and you let him do it, heart settling to a calmer beat in your chest.

“Do you want to dance?” he asks.

You stiffen. It feels strange to have him ask that. You almost forgot that he is a dancer too, in his soul, even though his physical body doesn’t permit him to let loose anymore.

“You want to dance?”

He has a soft smile on his lips when he meets your gaze. It’s miles away from the intensity it held just a moment ago, and you can’t help but offer him a smile of your own.

“Yes.”

You don’t want to refuse. Not when it feels like this moment matters. As if you’re about to create a core memory, and maybe you are.

Maybe you are.

The night sky is filled with stars. Distant burning constellations, and they wink at the two of you as Jungkook leads you through a slow dance. His steps are sure tonight, albeit a little mechanical, and his hand on the small of your back feels like a weight anchoring you into the present.

Up above, the stars just shine on and on, endlessly, for eternity. And you feel like eternity. You feel small and big, unimportant yet cataclysmic. He is cataclysmic. He is the start and the end, like the story is weaved into the tapestry of the universe itself.

And maybe it is.

“Thank you,” he murmurs after you’ve moved in time with him for a little eternity – your little eternity.

His voice is heavy. It holds the weight of the universe, and you reach up to cup his cheek, to anchor him in this moment with you.

“I’m happy to be here with you.”

His eyes are shining. Like the stars above, and the ones you’re starting to see behind his pupils. He hasn’t looked away from you since you started dancing, and you from him. You don’t think you can.

“I forgot how it felt to dance,” he admits.

Though he has danced since the accident. You’ve seen him dance, but maybe his heart wasn’t into it. Maybe his heart is in the moment now, maybe it’s beating in sync with all of your steps.

“How does it feel?” you ask, smiling up at him.

“Liberating. Like I’m just one of the stars in the sky up above.”

You don’t know what that feels like. It makes you realize you’ve never truly felt free. Jeon Jungkook looks at peace now, and you can just hope you’ll get to feel like that one day too.

A cool breeze rises around you, and you shiver as it moves on your skin. Jungkook notices, and he dips his head to kiss you again. Softly, gently, and when he pulls away he says, “Let’s go inside, you’re cold”.

You nod your head, even though you never want the moment to end. But nothing lasts in life – not even the stars above. One day they’ll die too, until all that’s left of them is an empty husk of life.

To you, that’s what love has always been like. It hits and leaves nothing of it behind. Maybe that’s why you step away from Jungkook.

“Yes.”

*****

                The shower you take is short. Scalding hot, until your skin has turned bright red. Only then are you satisfied, and you step out to dry yourself with a towel. You’re gentle with the towel, and you can still feel Jungkook’s hands on you. Can still feel the weight of his eyes on you.

If you could, you’d leave the cottage now. You’d run while you still can, but you can’t.

You can’t, so you step out of the bathroom and make your way to the living room where you both slept the night before. Where he snored softly until the noises he made were entwined with your dreams.

He’s already sitting on his couch when you arrive. His hair is wet from the shower he took in the downstairs bathroom, right next to the room where Chaeyeon and Lance are sleeping. He’s wearing black joggers and an oversized dark grey t-shirt, and he looks inherently comfortable. As if he’s comfort personified. He pushes his hair back as you come into view, offering you another one of his soft smiles.

You didn’t know Jungkook has softness in him. You feel it now: it’s in the way he looks at you, in the curve of his lips and the openness of his gaze.

“I have an idea,” he says, a little cryptically, and his smile turns mischievous. Childish, playful, and you chuckle.

“What is it?”

“I noticed your couch is tiny,” he says, motioning to said couch. “I thought…” He flushes red, before chuckling.

A blushing Jungkook is not a thing you imagined you would ever see someday.

“You thought?” you press on.

“I thought we could put all the cushions on the ground to make like a bed?”

It feels like you shouldn’t. Like you’re not supposed to be sleeping in the same bed as Jeon Jungkook. Especially not after what just happened outside – both the tub and the dance.

“Sure,” you agree nonetheless. “As long as you don’t steal all the blankets.”

He grins. “I would never.”

It’s cute, and it makes you gaze away.

Jungkook makes quick work of creating a bed for the two of you. You help him to move a coffee table away, and soon enough all the couch cushions form a mattress on the ground. You place the pillows you used last night on one end of it, and you’re sitting down just to test the makeshift bed when Jungkook throws the blankets on top of you.

“Jungkook!” you yelp, though you try to keep it to a minimum level so you won’t wake anyone.

He just laughs, and a few seconds later the room falls into darkness. While you’re disentangling yourself from the blankets, you hear a thump, and Jungkook lets out a series of curses that makes you burst out laughing, probably way too loud.

You don’t care.

“Fuck,” he finishes, and you can barely distinguish his silhouette when you’re free of the blankets.

“What happened?”

“I stubbed my toe,” he hisses through his teeth. “Fuck.”

You just laugh again, before moving until you’re on the side you chose for sleeping. “Just come here.”

“I was trying to,” he grumbles, and it sounds like he is pouting.

You’re starting to know him well enough that you know he is pouting.

Once you’re settled on your side of the bed, lying on your back staring up at the ceiling, Jungkook finally moves towards you. He lies on his side of the cushions, pulling a blanket over him. You both have your own blankets, so sleeping right next to each other doesn’t feel too indecent.

It takes your brain only three seconds before it produces an image of the hot tub, and you’re pretty sure the same thing just happened to Jungkook, because he chuckles lowly.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing.”

You frown in the darkness. “Doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“Mmh.”

 You turn until you’re facing him. His silhouette is dark against the lighter background behind him, but you can barely make out his form next to you. You see it when he moves though, as he turns to face you too.

“What are you humming about?”

He chuckles. “Do you like cuddling?”

“You’re not going to get me to cuddle you,” you immediately reply, and you sound just as flustered as you feel.

“You grind on me in the hot tub and then you don’t even want to cuddle me? Outrageous.”

You scoff, and if you weren’t in the dark he’d see your cheeks turning scarlet. “We both know where cuddling would lead.”

His voice is husky when he speaks. “You think you can’t resist me?”

It makes the ‘never back down from a challenge’ part of you tickle until you find yourself replying, “I’ll be the big spoon”.

He snorts, but he turns until he’s facing away from you. You hesitate for a time, but you eventually move closer to him, until you’ve wrapped an arm around his stomach. You rest your forehead against his back, and you hope he can’t hear the loud beats of your heart.

His body is warm. Comfortably so, and you know you could drift to sleep easily just lying next to him like this.

Why then are you unable to fully close your eyes? Why then do you decide to move closer, until his ass is pressed against you? It makes you gulp, and some wild and foolish part of you wishes you could be under his skin.

You don’t think you could ever be close enough to him to satiate the hunger that’s forming in your core.

Jungkook moves his arm, and a second later he’s wrapping his hand around yours. You let him do it, and you’re surprised when he brings your hand up to press a light kiss on your knuckles.

You wish you were still drunk. Because then you could blame your next words on the alcohol.

“Actually, can you be the big spoon?”

He sounds like he’s smirking when he says, “Yeah, of course”.

A few seconds later the positions are reversed, and Jungkook molds his body to yours, wrapping his tattooed arm around your frame, putting his other one under your head. It fits too well, like it was meant to be, and maybe this moment really was always meant to be.

Maybe you were bound to hate him until you found yourself cuddled up to him in the dead of night at a cottage on the countryside.

“Your hair smells good,” Jungkook says, and he shifts impossibly closer. You feel his lips on your head as he inhales, and the arm around your waist tightens as he pulls you flush against him.

“Thank you,” you answer, breathlessly. Because you are breathless in his arms, you are breathless feeling all of his firm body against all of yours.

Breathless enough so that you shift, and your ass moves against him.

“Uh,” Jungkook lets out. He laughs a little, and his tattooed hand moves up until he’s brushing his thumb on the side of your jaw. “You shouldn’t do that.”

“Isn’t that exactly what you want me to do?”

He thinks for a time. “What I want you to do and what you want seem to be two completely different things.”

It’s a little somber, the way he says it, and you bite your lip. Because he’s right, sort of. You’re not sure you want to have sex with him. But what started in the hot tub is bound to finish someday, is it not?

“You’re confusing me,” you admit. “You’ve been confusing me all weekend.”

His hand leaves your jaw, and he moves your hair out of the way as he leans. His lips press a tentative kiss on your neck, and your ass immediately shifts against him again.

“So have you,” he declares. “You’ve been confusing me for weeks.”

His revelation only makes you want him even more. And you’ve rarely wanted someone the way your body has been craving for Jungkook. Because that’s what it is: your body has been craving for him since the hot tub. And you’re about to succumb to your desires, aren’t you?

“Jungkook…”

He sucks on your skin, but not hard enough to leave a hickey. It still makes heat pool at your core, and you push your ass back against his dick once more.

“Fuck,” he curses. “We should go to sleep.”

Though this time he grinds against you, and you can feel the start of his erection on your ass.

“Right,” you agree.

And you move against him, earning a grunt from him. He murmurs your name, before saying, “I don’t have any condoms”.

All your nerves set on fire. “I don’t care.”

“We shouldn’t…” His sentence is cut short as you grind again, and he sinks his teeth in the soft skin of your neck. It hurts a little, and you know he’s going to leave another hickey on you as soon as he starts sucking.

Your hand shoots behind you, and you grab the back of his head, fingers getting lost in the strands of his hair. His own hand moves down until it settles on your hip, and he guides your movement against him.

He moves away from your neck, pressing a kiss on your shoulder this time. “We shouldn’t have sex,” he says, completing his previous sentence.

“I know.”

“We’re going to have sex,” he adds.

“I know.”

You circle your hips, and his erection is turning hard by the second. You’re soaking your panties, and you just want more of him. You want to get rid of all the fabric between you two and feel his skin directly against yours.

“Oh, Y/n…” he breathes, and then he’s back to kissing your neck.

No sucking this time, just his tongue drawing circles on your skin as you continue moving your ass against his dick.

“You’re already hard.”

“The hot tub got me real horny.”

It had the same effect on you, and you shiver as he bites at your ear. Gently, not to hurt, especially not as he presses a kiss under your ear next.

“Fuck,” you say.

His breathing is warm against the side of your face, and you decide to dive in. To say fuck it with what you should do and what you want to do. You only have one life to live anyway.

The moment your lips touch feels like a dam broke inside of you. Your tongue meets him halfway between your mouths, and he swallows the moan you let out as his fingers move under your shirt. You’re not wearing a bra, and the moan turns to a hiss as he pinches one of your nipples, rolling the sensitive bud between his thumb and index.

He pulls away from the kiss to say, “Can I take off your shorts?”

Because you’re wearing baby blue PJ shorts. Nothing really attractive, but it has no hindering effect on Jungkook’s desire for you, has it?

“Yes,” you answer and he’s back to kissing you in no time.

His fingers do quick work of the knot holding your shorts in place, and he immediately slides his hand in. He slides it under your panties too, and he starts rubbing circles on your clit right away.

You’re going to go insane. He’s worth going insane for.

You grind on his hand, and he moves lower so he can dip his middle finger and ring finger inside of you, up to the first knuckle, before pulling out and rubbing circles on your clit again. Your slick juice renders you oversensitive, and you buck your hips as he starts a hellish rhythm down there, with just the right pressure.              

It’s like he knows his way around your body already.

You try to reach between you, but the way his arm is positioned keeps you from being able to palm him. You whine and it makes him stop his ministrations on your clit.

“Is something wrong?”

“Take off your pants,” you tell him.

“Please?” he taunts you, as if he wants to let you know who’s in control here.

“Please,” you hiss through your teeth, because somehow it infuriates you.

“Good girl,” he praises with his low husky voice.

You’ve never been called a good girl before, and something in the way he says it makes you grind hard against him.

“You like that, uh?” he asks.

“Just take off the fucking pants, Jeon.”

He chuckles but obeys nonetheless. You take off your shorts at the same time, and think about it for half a second before you’re taking your panties off too.

Once you’re both naked from the waist down, you return to the previous cuddling position. Only this time his dick is resting against your ass, and from what you can tell, it really is big.

“Should I finger you to make sure you can take me?” he asks, but it’s rhetorical.

Indeed, he doesn’t wait for you to answer before he plunges two fingers inside of you, arching them to hit a spot inside of you that makes you see stars, shy constellations that add light to the darkness of the cottage. You find purchase on his forearm as he starts thrusting his fingers in and out of you, and he reaches deep inside of you. His palm hits your clit every time he pushes all the way in, and you’re starting to see a whole damn galaxy of stars in no time.

But you want to feel him, want to jerk him off while he’s making you feel good too. So you reach behind you, and this time you’re successful. You’re able to wrap your hand around his cock, and you moan at the feeling of the large girth.

“You’re so fucking wet.”

You moan, nodding your head. “It’s all for you.”

“Oh, I fucking know it is,” he says.

It’s cocky, but you’re too far gone to give him shit for it.

You start jerking him off, slowly because you can’t really move quicker in this position. He stills bucks his hips, fucking your hand, and he starts moving his fingers even faster, hitting your clit even harder.

“Fuck, please play with my clit,” you beg.

“Can’t say no when you ask so nicely,” he says, and he’s back to rubbing circles on your clit.

You clench around nothing as you jerk him off, before you decide to position his dick between your legs. You grind against him, or maybe he makes you grind. You don’t really know. All you can feel is the way his length moves against you. But he never aligns with your entrance, as if he just wants to tease you, and knowing him you’re pretty sure he does.

It stays like this for a while, with him just coating his dick with your slick juice as he keeps rubbing insistent circles on your clit. Your walls clench around nothing, and you whine as he just moves his hips back and forth.

“Fuck me, Jungkook,” you say.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks.

You just whine again.

“I want to hear you say it.”

He’s infinitely infuriating, isn’t he?

“Yes, I fucking want your dick inside of me.”

This time, when he pulls his hips away from you, he makes sure to align with your entrance before pushing forward. And he pushes forward hard, sheathing all of his dick inside of you. Or all of what fits inside of you, because you’re pretty sure he’s way too big to be able to entirely fit.

The moment he hits the back of your pussy you let out a moan. It’s loud, and you immediately put a hand on your mouth to muffle the next noises you’ll make. You think better of it after a few seconds, and you grab the blanket, rolling it in a messy bundle just so you can press it against your face.

“You feel so fucking tight,” he says, and then he grunts when your walls clench around him. “Just relax, baby.”

“I’m just so close,” you admit.

You don’t know when he stopped rubbing circles on your clit. Only know that he starts again now, and you feel the familiar knot of an orgasm starting to form deep in your core.

“Such a fucking good girl”, he praises. “You’re going to come all over my dick.”

You immediately hide your face in the blanket as you moan, unashamedly loud. And then he starts fucking into you, slow and hard, and you lose it. You lose it as the knot uncoils, snaps inside of you, turning every inch of your body into an oversensitive land of pleasure.

Jungkook fucks you through your high, steadily, never once faltering even as your walls pulse hard against him. His fingers keep on rubbing circles on your clit, and he kisses a spot on your neck that makes goosebumps erupt on all of you. It feels so good you could cry, but your high still just keeps on going. Even though you’re in the dark, your vision is white, blindly so.

You don’t know when your hand found its way to the side of his face, only that once you finally come down you have a handful of his hair in your grip.

“That didn’t take long,” Jungkook teases, whispering the words directly into your ear.

He’s not wrong. You don’t think you’ve ever come as hard and quick as you just did.

“Holy fuck,” you mutter.

He has stilled inside of you, and his lips are littering small kisses on your neck. So you feel his smirk against you, and it makes you move. Circling your hips, trying to give him something in return for the orgasm he’s gifted you.

“You’re going to let me come inside of you, mmh?” he asks as you keep on going, a little sloppily from the remnants of your orgasm.

“You think you can come for me?” You’re embarrassingly breathless, still panting because of your high. You take a deep breath as you prop yourself up on an elbow, just so it’s easier to fuck yourself on him.

Jungkooks hums. “I need a little more than that, baby.”

You bite your lips as his tattooed hand finds your breast under your shirt again. “What do you want me to do?”

“Ride me?” he suggests, right as he plants a soft peck on your shoulder.

You moan as he fucks into you hard, unexpectedly. “Anyone could see.”

He whines, but then his hand moves to your hip before he starts pounding into you again. You hide your face in the blanket again, trying to muffle your sounds. Jungkook is not faring a lot better than you, and his grunts send shivers all over you. He doesn’t talk again until he’s slowed down.

“They can already see us.”

He’s not wrong, and you hate it. But you doubt someone will get up at this hour of the night, closer to the morning than to yesterday. He pushes in once more, hard and rough.

“Fuck,” he curses, and he entirely stops moving.

He even pulls out, and you turn to look at him. Your eyes have adjusted to the dark a little now, and you can see his features enough to see him wincing in pain.

“Is something wrong?” you immediately ask.

“My leg hurts.”

His three words fall softly in the night, the way a feather falls. It shifts the atmosphere, making your heart ache in your chest.

“Oh, Jungkook…”

“Ride me,” he says, and it sounds begging.

As if he needs it to forget the pain. You don’t think you have it in you to refuse, so you straddle him. Before you sink on his dick, you lean down to press a kiss to his lips, hoping to chase the pain away. Your hands hold you up on his shoulders, and his move to your hips, before sliding down until he’s holding your ass in his large palms. He massages the muscles of your ass as you kiss, tongues meeting in a deep and languid dance.

When you’re out of breath, lungs burning for oxygen, you straighten and sit on his dick. You circle your hips, teasing him a little and also making sure that he’s still hard. He is, his dick a rod of steel, and you bite at your lower lip as you grab him with one hand to align him with your entrance. He’s looking through half-lidded eyes as you do so, and his eyes shut as you sink all the way down on him, until his dick reaches your cervix.

His mouth falls open and he moans softly. It’s a pretty sound, meant for your ears only, and it makes you feel powerful. You feel powerful as you move up and down, slowly, feeling every vein of his dick on your walls. You clench as you sink back down, and his hands on your ass tighten their hold for a few seconds before he moves to your hips to guide you.

He makes you go faster, and as if he can’t resist he’s soon fucking up into you.

You put a hand on his cheek, brushing his cheekbone with a thumb. His eyes flutter open and he stills, seeing the look on your face.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I can do the work, don’t hurt your leg,” you tell him. You grab his hands from your hips to move them to your breasts under your shirt. And then you start moving, for real this time, quick and hard. You add a little bit of circling of your hips, just to make sure he stretches you wide.

And he does. Jungkook is huge, and you don’t wonder why he’s so cocky anymore. He’s got the kind of dick to be cocky about.

“Alright then,” Jungkook lets out between two soft moans.

You smirk, but it dies when one of his hands moves from your breast to your neck through the collar of your shirt. You grab his forearm, and your eyes flutter shut as he digs his fingers in your arteries, cutting the blood supply to your brain. It feels good, far more than it should, as all you can feel is his dick in you.

You let out a breathy sound, walls clenching on him again.

“That’s it, baby, you’re so good,” he praises, and he sounds different than he did before.

He’s more out of breath, as if he’s exhausted. And maybe he is, as he’s nearing his orgasm. It only encourages you more, and your nails dig in his forearm, hard enough to mark him.

“Fuck,” he curses, and he releases his hold on your neck. His hand doesn’t move, but it’s now just resting on your throat, and he’s not squeezing anymore.

“Fill me up, JK,” you say. “I want to feel you come inside of me.”

“Let me fuck you a little,” he replies. And he pulls you down by the neck, until he’s satisfied with the angle.

You want to say something about his leg but he’s already pounding into you, so hard your face falls in the crook of his neck as your hands get lost in his hair. Your lips meet his skin, and you suck hard, fully intending to leave a mark there. At this point you’re pretty convinced someone’s ought to know you’re fucking anyway, so why not show that he’s yours?

The thought sobers you up. But Jungkook is already coming, so you hold on strong sucking another spot on his neck as he groans and releases ropes and ropes of his cum inside of you. And he comes a lot, painting your insides white. You like it far more than you should.

Another thought to sober you up.

It takes Jungkook a little longer before he finally stops moving, and he lets out a content sigh as he wraps his arms around your waist to hold you close.

“We should have done this before,” he murmurs.

You try to sit up, but he keeps you from moving. “We shouldn’t have done this.” Even as you’re saying that you press another kiss to his neck. A soft one, just because he tastes too good, and you know the moment is about to come to an end.

“Uh?” he lets out.

His dick is still deep inside of you when you say, “We shouldn’t have fucked”.

He pushes you away now. Not hard, but it’s like your touch burns him and he needs to be away from you.

“Why?”

You sit next to him, and your cheeks burn as you feel his seed spill out of you, only to stain the blanket you previously used to muffle your moans.

“We’re barely even friends,” you point out.

He’s not watching you. His eyes are fixed on an empty spot on the cushionless couch next to which you’re laying. “Okay?”

“It’s just weird, no?”

You reckon you don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t know why you decided to say it right now either. It’s as if the words just need to get out.

“It’s just sex,” he says, and it sounds a little angry. “People have sex all the time.”

“But not us. You know, I don’t like you like that.”

A big fat lie if you’ve ever said one. You did like having sex with him. You’re just panicking, your fight or flight instinct having been suddenly triggered.

“Chill, Y/n,” he mutters, and he sighs heavily. “We just fucked. We can pretend nothing happened, if that’s what you want.”

You don’t know what you want. Some part of you wants to take the evening back, but at the same time not. You’re confusing to yourself, and your teeth dig in the tip of your tongue for a moment as you think.

“What would you want to say this is?” you ask after a little too long for the silence to be comfortable.

He finally looks at you. “Nothing, honestly. We just got horny and we’re the only single people here, it was bound to happen.”

Now, his words hurt a little, but you can see the truth behind them. “Right,” you say. “So, just friends?”

He holds your gaze. It’s too dark for you to be able to interpret anything on his features. “Sure.”

You feel bad. Remorseful. And you think about the hot tub, and the fucking too, but also about the dance outside. You reckon your fight or flight was triggered then, you’ve just been ignoring it ever since you came in.

Ever since you got out of the bathroom to see Jungkook and his softness. The softness is gone now, and he looks away from you before sitting up too. He searches around for his pants, and puts them on as you scan the scene for your own clothes.

“Can you…” you start, but he’s already throwing your shorts and panties at you.

He’s pissed. It’s evident now, clear as spring water, and you feel even worse. You didn’t want to upset him. There’s just too much history between you, too much individual history on your part too.

You’ve never been in a relationship. You’ve never been able to even imagine being in a relationship. And it usually leads to scenes like this: the men you sleep with getting upset with you. You don’t blame them, can’t blame them.

But it feels different with Jungkook. Worse, as if you don’t want the outcome to be him being upset with you. You just don’t know anything else, and so you put your clothes on. Even as he gets up to go clean up in the bathroom, muttering that he’ll be right back.

Even as he comes back and settles on the makeshift bed again, his back turned to you. The message is clear then: he doesn’t want to talk to you. You reckon you can always talk to him tomorrow. Can always let the night pass, and with it the fight or flight. It’s not like he’s going to be gone tomorrow, and you won’t be either.

You get up, sighing heavily as you go to the bathroom to clean up too.

 Jungkook is dead silent when you come back. If he was asleep, you know he would be snoring softly, as last night showed you. But no, he’s dead silent, as if he’s just ruminating in his corner.

It makes you feel too bad to remain silent.

“Jungkook,” you let out softly, his name barely over a whisper.

“Mmh?” he hums.

“I’m sorry if I upset you.”

He sighs, long and deep, before turning on his back. “Don’t worry about it.”

He’s stupid if he thinks telling you so will make it so you don’t worry. You’re always worrying anyway.

“Okay,” you still say. “It was great though, don’t take me wrong.”

He chuckles, and it’s bitter. “Listen, if you want us to pretend like it never happened, let’s start right now.”

He’s closed off. He was open earlier, a book for you to read. Maybe you’ve ripped the pages away, or maybe you’ve thrown the book off a cliff.

But it’s safer this way. It’s safer to keep Jungkook at an arm’s length. It’s where you keep everyone besides Jiho anyway.

“Okay, sorry,” you apologize. “Good night?”

He sighs once more. “Yeah, good night.” And then he turns away, and it hits you.

You won’t ever be the one to see Jungkook’s softness again.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

.............................. please don't hate me <3 how was this chapter? How was the smut? I hope it hit good haha! Let me know what you thought!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

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[mask131]

Some times ago, I posted about the vandalizing of the Wall of the Justs at the Parisian Shoah memorial. The post is here if you are interested, and it got many, many notes, so I thank you very much!

But I hope this post will also get as many notes - because we found the guilty party. We know who did it and... gosh, it sounds like a fucking joke but it is not, and it just proves how complex the situation is, and how dangerous the times we are living are.

If you recalled the obvious guilty party, the first suspects, the ones that seemed to have done that were the so-called "pro-Palestinian" activists that in fact are just antisemitic people disguising their hatred under the pretense of "fighting for Palestine". It is well-known that the pro-Palestinan manifestations, events and representatives in France have all versed at one point or another into very antisemitic comments or actions, and the movement is currently being parasited by antisemitism - ranging from actual antisemites who use "Zionist" as a way to designate all Jews, including French-Jews who never saw Israel in their life ; to people who are taking back antisemitic slogans without knowing they are antisemitic in the first place.

The reason the investigation directly was aimed at them was very simple: the red hands, or red handprints, is a symbol that many pro-Palestine manifestants have been using recently. Which, in itself, sparked a whole new debate - about whether it is an antisemitic symbol or not. Because while for some it is the universal "You have blood on your hands" symbol, for others it refers to the blood of a soldier of Israel on the hands of his murderer, during the second Infifada... And while attacking the Wall of the Justs would have been a new low and a new step for these left-leaning antisemites (because so far they only attacked Jews, now they would attack those that saved Jews and assorted Nazi victims during World War II), it was in line with a new form of radicalization of the movement - see the "Block Out" phenomenon on Internet, a cancel culture aimed at those that did not support enough Palestine... As a personal note I will say: where was all this energy and effort when the it was time to defend the Uyghurs against their wiping out by the Chinese regime? It is still time today, their suffering is still going on... But as a prominent Uyghur activist said (I think it was Rebiya Kadeer, but I do not have my notes with me so I might be mistaken) - people care less about the Uyghurs than Palestinians for one simple reason "Because it isn't Israel that is killing us..." It is China, and as a result nobody really cares...

Anyway, I digress... So while it is known, confirmed and recorded that the so-called "pro-Palestine" activists in France are slowly oscillating and sinking into antisemitism, it isn't actually them who did these red handprints. No, they're not guilty this time.

In fact it is something I talked about when I made my original post: there was another very likely suspect which would have surprised nobody. Neo-Nazis. Because while the pro-Palestinian movement is currently crystallizing in France the entire antisemitism wave that has been on the rise for a decade now among the extreme-left, the extreme-right political groups have also been gaining terran and strength for quite a long time, and now, we have actual neo-Nazi parties very vocal and active today... Due to the ungodly amount of terrorist attacks France had to face, due to the frightening strenghtening of radical and extreme Islam in France, due to the whole endless debates about immigration in France, and due to the hyper-violent civil unrests that are clearly just to cause chaos and nothing else (like the riots following the death of Nahel Merzouk, which clearly were not about the Nahel case and just to cause as much destruction and steal as much things as possible)... Well of course, when these types of problem arise, who gains the upper-hand? The extreme-right.

And so now we have far-right candidates so popular they have a good chance of being elected as the representatives of France, and we have many groups of antisemitic Christian fanatics popping up everywhere, and we have neo-Nazi movements literaly returning like some perverted phoenix from their ashes... As such, it was thought that maybe these red handprints could have been the work of a neo-Nazi movement, who would use the current situation to perform their antisemitic deeds while blaming the extreme-left for it... After all, the two movements have been currently doing the exact same thing. Before the Hamas attack, far-right groups were defacing Jewish cemeteries and soiling Simone Veil's grave with Nazi swastika ; and today far-left activists are "denouncing" Israel by... tagging on Jewish temples drawings mixing the six-point stars with a swastika...

So, you know, the typical horseshoe effect. The two extremes are literaly doing the same things, and as such we have a hard time differentiatng one from another.

But no... Turns out it isn't them either! Turns out... it isn't even French people who did this.

And here's where the dark joke comes... You know who did it? FUCKING RUSSIA OF COURSE!

We forget to so easily that Putin is literaly sending his agents in every friggin' political or social event that goes on in the world right now... And in fact that's the whole point: Putin wants us to be so obsessed with the Israel-Hamas conflict and how Gaza is trapped in it all, so that we forget about how Russia is currently destroying Ukraine.

The investigation found out that the people who painted these red hands were three men that had recently arrived in Paris from Bulgaria... They were staying at an hotel and the very day following their crime, they left France for Belgium (Bruxelles to be precise). Now... You're going to say "So they're just Bulgarians? They're not Russians, nothing proves its Russia". Except for one thing... While yes the involvment of Russia has not been "confirmed", Putin's Russia is not known for its vivid imagination... And they have literaly done the same thing some times ago.

If you recall, I posted about it before... It happened last october. Right after the Hamas attacked the music festival, causing the whole madness we are into today, blue David stars were painted on buildings where Jewish people lived, echoing the dark times of the Nazi Occupation in France... Here is the post I made back in February, and I couldn't guess how far things would go back then... While everybody was getting scared about the return of French antisemitism turned out... It was a group of people from Moldavia that was paid to paint those stars everywhere. Paid by... a pro-Russian, pro-Putin Moldavian businessman, Anatoli Prizenko.

You can read more about this on my old post, but investigation concluded it was indeed an operation where Russian forces used the Moldavians as puppets. All to cause fright and chaos in France. When you consider that Bulgaria, like Moldavia, is unfortunately today one of the "screen-countries" Russia likes to use to shield themselves when doing their dirty chores... Blue stars, red handprints... This is clearly the same thing, done all over again.

And where the "joke" part comes out even more - in the sense of a perverse, venomous, fetid joke part of some putrid dark comedy... Russia has currently been truly harassing France through all sorts of operations, each more outlandish than the next, and yet all working in their own way to cause fear and chaos... More specifically two cases are regularly being brought up.

Case 1: The Doppelgänger operation

In June of 2023, the French authorities warned about what was called the "Doppelgänger operation". A massive campaign of Internet misinformation created by Russia. The purpose was simple: create mirror-websites to the official websites of French information networks, newspapers and TV channels. They were almost identical to the official news outlet of France, to the point many mistook them for the real thing - sometimes the only difference you could spot was in the URL. ".fr" became ".ltd", and ".com" became ".cam".

And all those fake websites shared articles about the Ukrainian-Russian war, articles written purposefully to spread misinformation about Russia. Some claimed that the Ukrainian population were in full distrust of their government and wanted to see it brought down... Others wrote that all the Ukrainian operations were disasters and failures. Some invented fake tragedies and disasters in Russia to try to paint Ukrainians as the villains. And others yet wrote about how the donations of Europe to Ukraine were either wasted by the Ukrainians, or would cause economic crisis in European countries...

Case 2: The bed bugs hysteria

In september of 2023, the discovery of bed bugs on several public places in Paris was shared on social media. Some were discovered in a movie theater, the presence of others was attested in some subway lines... The social media being what they are, it became a hot topic talked about by everybody, shared by everyone - and the facts were exaggerated, and rumors started spreading, and soon an entire mass hysteria started overtaking France. It wasn't just Paris anymore, but all the big cities that were supposedly infested by "bed bugs". People claimed to find them in every public places - every theater, every subway line, every hotel, even in hospitals...

Turns out, there wasn't as much bed bugs as the social media wanted us to believe. It was mostly a sanitary mass panic, echoing the fear caused by the Covid epidemic and fed by the worries about the upcoming Olympic games. And... and also fed by Russia. Investigations revealed that there was a lot of fake accounts, troll accounts and bots created by Russian servers and Russian URLs, and who spent their entire time spreading and sharing bed-bugs articles, writing fake articles twisting the facts, and spamming everybody with news of this mass hysteria..

This is the sore and infuriating conclusion. Remember, everyone, that this isn't just about Israel and Palestine... It isn't just about the Hamas or Netanyahu... And we already knew that, because already in Europe it was clear this wasn't truly about what happened in the Middle-East - it was also about the shadows of antisemitism and the wraith of the Nazi presence, it was about the extreme-left movement spreading from the USA university down to European ones, it became a fight about the Jewish and Muslim populations in Europe rather than in Palestine and Israel - and even more, a political fight between the far-right and the far-left across the continent... But it isn't just about that anymore, because now Putin is in the dance and Russia is gleefully putting oil on the fire in hope it will burn everything... This is a fucked-up chess game with many, many players... That all look the same in the end, somehow, so it becomes hard to identify which one does which move.

But at least we know who painted the blue stars, and who painted the red hands, and who pits the extreme-left against the extreme-right, and is trying to make sure the Jewish people of France are feeling scared in their own country. Putin and what he turned Russia into.

#france #putin #russia #antisemitism #shoah memorial #wall of the justs #putin's russia #russian propaganda #far right #far left #extreme right #extreme left #misinformation #mass hysteria #antisemitic #ukraine

[back2bluesidex]

a jungkook drabble with tolerate it - taylor swift 💔

Tolerate It - JJK

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Theme: Angst, breakup au.

Song: Tolerate it

Word count: 702

Warnings: Heartbreak, angst, jungkook is kinda mean.

Minors and Karens Are Not Allowed in this Blog!!

A/N: Thank you so much for this request. Hope you like it.

Rebound. That is what you have been in your relationship, or dare you call it an arrangement, with Jeongguk. You always knew it. You were always aware of the fact that Jeongguk gave you a chance because he wanted to move on, because his and your friends advised him so, because they thought you would be capable of making him happy again. Not because he liked you back, not because he wanted to date you, not because he wanted you. 

You know it all, but hearing it from the man himself doesn’t hurt any less. The reminder breaks your heart regardless. 

“No hyung. You know I can’t. I- I just can’t bring myself to feel for her the way I should. And asking her to join me for the family dinner would be too much.” Jeongguk speaks on the phone with a hushed tone. 

He probably doesn’t know that you are awake. Or if he does then he doesn’t give a shit about how your heart is currently breaking with every single word that escapes his mouth. 

You press your lips together tightly. Your eyes shut as a defense mechanism so that your tears don’t start spilling. Your feet are planted on the floor as if someone has glued them to the carpet.

You stand there listening to what he has to say. 

“I know. I know it has been eight months. But- but hyung, I still love Soo Ri. Y/N is lovely, understanding. She would be the perfect girlfriend to any guy, but not for me. She is not Soo Ri.” a sigh escapes from his mouth and a tear rolls down your cheek. 

Yes. Yes you are not her. Neither that you ever wanted to be. Not even when you silently loved Jeongguk and watched him being head over heels for his ex-girlfriend. You always wanted to be you. You always wanted Jeongguk to fall for the person you are. But you failed. 

And as a result, you are standing here in your boyfriend’s living room while you can still feel him inside you, listening to him as he says how much he doesn’t love you. 

You are not surprised, neither are you disappointed. You are just hurt.  

You knew you could never expect anything from Jeongguk even when he accepted your confession within two months of his breakup. You knew you could never expect him to feel the same when your calls went unanswered, plans got canceled, dates were forgotten. You knew you could not expect much from him when his apologies were always half-hearted, you knew he was sorry but not for letting you down but for letting your hopes soar in the first place. You knew he would never be yours when he never once stared into your eyes while making love to you, he probably imagined her. His kisses never had the passion you desired, the love you craved, the sweetness you wanted. 

On the other hand, you gave your everything to him. 

You used your best colors for his portrait, you laid the table with fancy shit, you watched him hours after hours when he didn’t even spare you a single glance. 

You know your love should be celebrated but Jeongguk just tolerates it. 

“I am trying hyung. But I- I just don’t know.” His back rises and falls, which tells you of the sharp exhale he just released. He seems to be tired. Tired of dealing with you and your overwhelming amount of love. 

So you do the next best thing. Wiping your tears smeared face with the back of your hand, you retreat to the bedroom. You get dressed, ready to leave him for both of your sake. You walk out of the door, shutting it loudly enough to let him know of your departure. 

Jeongguk startles and stares dumbly at the closed door. 

He half expects you to come back, kiss him goodbye on the cheek and say sorry for forgetting it earlier. But the other part of him tells him that he is never going to see you again. 

Even though that should be good news to him, his heart feels heavy with a sin he never knew he committed.

#bts angst #jungkook angst #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fanfiction #bts oneshot #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook

[f1crecs]

Fic Rec List - Sex Worker AUs

if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍

have a pairing you want us to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

Lando/Oscar

nsfw: dancing on quicksand by @tearstrung | E | 3.3k Lando is outrageous, and Oscar struggles to understand what's a joke and what isn't - until he sees a link on Twitter. This fic is red hot, very funny, and perfectly characterised! Oscar's special brand of bamboozlement is especially wonderful here, as he comes to terms with Lando's job on the side. The ending is like a beautiful punch to the gut. Love it!

'Though, the guy’s skin is similar in color to Lando’s—olivey, the natural tan Lando wears year-round, even if he’s barely been in the sun with his shirt off. The same big hands, which don’t really match up with his small stature, rippled with lithe muscle; followed by a wide ribcage that slips down into a tiny, tapered waist. Nipples, shades darker and always hard from what Oscar can see from a long scroll. At the tips of the guy’s fingers, Oscar notices leftover chew marks, the skin pulled back, nails bitten short into nubs.'

Carlos/Lando

nsfw: when the time comes by @venerat | E | 7.6k Lando asks his friend Carlos, an escort, to arrange an appointment with another male escort for him. Lando has never been with a man and wants to have the experience. When Pierre falls ill and has to cancel, Carlos decides to go in his stead. Only one problem, though - Carlos is in love with Lando. Will he be able to keep his emotions in check? This situation could have been awkward but Lando is nothing but sweet and kind with Carlos. The encounter results in a lot of revelations for them both, and although they seem to start the next phase of their relationship a bit backwards, they clearly have a future together.

Time doesn’t seem to be very real. Carlos thinks. He thought it would be different than this, that’s all. Different from the way it’s—happening. Because the way it’s happening feels like sex. Real sex. It doesn’t feel like work. It doesn’t feel like a transaction. It feels like—trite; cliche, of course, but—it feels like passion.

Charles/Pierre

nsfw: pièce de résistance by @capsize (copenhagenborn) | E | 14.5k Pierre, a sex worker, is approached one night by the assistant of someone calling himself Marc. Marc, it turns out, is really Prince Charles of Monaco and is looking for an arrangement. This is quite low-angst for a royalty AU (don't get me wrong, I love my angst) but this fic just has them slot together so easily. Pierre is rather happy as a sex worker, which is actually a nice change when it comes to sex work fic. The relationship side of things is slow burn and even the inevitable miscommunication part of the story is done so well I enjoyed it.

'Pierre does spend the night. He sends Charles a picture of his gateau marcel and soaks in the tub as he finishes the bottle of wine they were supposed to share. The house is predictably a mess when he gets home: George is crying on the couch with his eyes glued to the television, a small Union Jack pulled from somewhere and now proudly displayed in front of him. Alex is sitting by his feet, badly hiding his laughter as he scrolls through what Pierre can only imagine being memes. Lando is passed out in the corner, a bottle of vodka close to his hand, while Oscar stares at him with an oddly closed-off look in his eyes. Pierre isn’t quite up to date on the current geopolitical relationship between Australia and the rest of the commonwealth. Pierre sits down next to Max at the dining table, sips his water and goes, “What does it mean if someone has to be summoned after the death of dear old Lizzy?”'

nsfw: cause baby, I'd be satisfied forever by @wolfiemcwolferson | E | 88.5k Pierre, retired from racing after a career-ending injury, is closer to 40 than 30 now and has reinvented himself as a designer. He's also venturing out of the closet. He is put in touch with Charles, who gets by as a sugar baby, and decides this is a perfect way to get some experience dating another man. Pierre finds himself developing feelings for Charles. I'm at a point now with @wolfiemcwolferson fic where I just gesture wildly at whatever they've written and make vague noises but in the interests of trying to sound like the sane person I pretend to be, this fic is a perfect distillation of the Pierre/Charles relationship. What if they didn't meet until later in life? What if Charles never went beyond karting? What if the age gap was larger? All of these, and yet, it's still them. There is a "soulmates in ever universe" theme in the Piarles fandom and this story absolutely embodies it.

'He’s beautiful and he smells like cologne and something fresh and he’s still not let go of Pierre’s hand - the cool leather underneath Pierre’s hand seems so…foreign. So flipped. Pierre considers all the time he touched other people’s hands while wearing leather gloves. “I hope I am not late,” Charles smiles at him still. “I missed my train and I -” “Charles,” Pierre says, realizing that Charles seems a bit nervous - a bit ruffled. “I only just arrived. “Come and let’s go inside. We can get warm.” His smile makes his perfect face less so - a mere mortal instead of the god he is and Pierre gets it immediately.'

Charles/Sebastian

nsfw: Be Snoozing That Lust In The Morning by @sebchalex & @meova101 | E | 14.5k When Formula 1 decides to clean up their sponsors, teams are left scrambling to find money. Ferrari finds an unconventional way to get more budget – Charles starts an OnlyFans. The initial premise of Charles having to get an OnlyFans to help Ferrari is just unhinged enough that it could be real – but this fic has a lot more to offer than just comedy. The way it follows Charles personal growth from not believing he could actually make money of OF, being embarrassed when Seb subscribes, to them working together to produce record breaking content and falling for eachother in between – its like a modern day fairytale, if Cinderella had to sell nudes to help the evil stepmom with money.

"This was the only way," Charles says. "I know this could tarnish the Ferrari legacy and everything, but I want to help my team. I will do anything to make them stay on top." Once he finishes his sentence, he looks straight at Sebastian. It's already disgraceful enough that he had to do this in the first place, but this type of rejection coming from Sebastian is making him feel worse. Finally, Sebastian raises his hands in a yielding gesture. "Fine," he says, sending a breath of relief through Charles. "I still have a problem with it." "Seb, I know. I wish there was another way as well, but—" "It's not about that," Sebastian says, looking even more pissed. "Have you realised that your pictures are terrible?" Well. Charles certainly hadn’t expected that. "What?" "Charles, if you are charging that much in the first place, then you should at least put in a little bit more effort," Sebastian explains, extending his hands out. "Your lighting was horrible, and it was blurry. Why did no one offer help?"

nsfw: With you I'm in real danger by @jean----ralphio | E | 55.5k Charles, a well-known porn actor, shelters from a mob of fans by hiding in a rare books shop. The bookseller recognises him but is too considerate to say anything about it. Charles notices and they strike up a friendship, and more. Charles and Seb are from such very different worlds. Charles is accustomed to sometimes being judged for his line of work but Seb treats him with utmost respect at all times, which should be a low bar but isn't. Things get a bit rocky for them in true romance story fashion, but all is well by the end.

Sebastian feels himself go bright red, as Charles’ mischievous smile turns gleeful. “I can tell the instant I meet someone whether they know who I am or not,” he explains. “So I knew right away that you know of me.” “Ah. Sorry.” Sebastian feels foolish, guilt settling over him for not having been honest about it from the beginning.

Pierre/Yuki

nsfw: your mouth makes me reconsider where my heart lies by @yukierres | E | 10.4k Pierre, still an F1 driver, discovers a streamer who plays video games while using sex toys and is immediately fascinated (and hugely turned on). He lavishes gifts and money on the man on his screen, and finds himself falling in love with someone he hasn't even met. The guys are so well characterised. Yuki is unashamed, he loves what he does, is brilliant at it and gets well paid for it too. You can see why Pierre couldn't resist. Pierre is confused and ashamed as hell to begin with (that darned Catholic guilt again) but can't stay away. The author grows the relationship to a point where it seems inevitable that Yuki will one day feel comfortable enough meeting Pierre in real life.

"That was -" Pierre says around breaths, a laugh in his voice, disbelief in what has just happened. Yuki himself has flopped back on the bed, laptop now beside him as he lies against the pillows. His eyes are wet and pink looking, a content sheen in them. "That was something else." A pleased cat-like expression forms on his mouth. "You enjoyed that Pierre?" He says with a blissed-out face, attempting to bat his eyes temptingly at the camera before yawning tiredly, the whole face scrunching up. It is more cute than seductive in the end, but it doesn’t matter because Pierre is head over heels either way.

Daniel/Max

nsfw: chemical highs and clear blue skies by @yekoc | E | 43.5k Daniel is a porn actor, which is where he meets newbie Max. Max, along with his cats, crash on Daniel’s couch whilst they continue to shoot various scenes together. They get to know each other and get to miscommunicate on the way to comfort. The pacing of the plot was really pleasant to read, as was the dialogue. Max is flippant but also careful and cautious at the same time. Daniel is self assured and kind and perhaps a little too trusting. Both of them keep their cards close and all of it makes for a very gratifying read.

'Max laughs, just a little bit, something that in someone else you might call a giggle. Daniel hasn’t seen him laugh before. He’s seen him come—in person, and then over and over again on video that one night, which he should probably forget about really quickly. Max laughing is oddly similar; it breaks something hard about him all to pieces.'

nsfw: Fly Fast (With Broken Wings) by @mysticalbreadcollective | E | 44.2k (ongoing) Max is an escort who turned to sex work due to lack of options. Daniel is an F1 driver, and Max's first ever customer. Daniel quickly becomes obsessed with Max - but the Max that Daniel first knows is a construct - the real Max guards his feelings out of necessity and can't afford to go all in with Daniel. Daniel doesn't understand the precariousness of Max's situation, or why Max would choose to keep working and earning his own money - keeping his independence - rather than agree to become Daniel's kept man. This fic digs deeply into the power imbalance and dubious consent issues of sex work, the necessary artifice of it and the need for emotional armour and distance on the part of the worker. Daniel, sadly, proves Max right with some of his behaviour - he can be selfish and spoiled, and sometimes outright cruel. There is love on both sides, but this relationship is a minefield they each misstep in more than once.

'“You think you are saving me, but it will be someone else. And maybe they will not be so nice.” Emilian says, and oh fuck, his voice is cracking a little at the end and Daniel can’t stand it. Because Daniel knows. He knows the types of clients, can imagine them, the ones that would pay extortionate amounts of money for Emilian. He feels sick hearing Emilian’s voice shake a little, wonders how nervous Emilian has been for this. What he was expecting, who he was expecting. When the agency told him that he was meeting someone who’d pay extra for him. If Emilian had built it all up in his head what he’d be asked to do. And then to say he’d been hopeful that it had been Daniel. Shit.'

Daniel/Lando

nsfw: asunder, asunder by @ladyeggplant | E | 53.3k Lando is very socially awkward, highly intelligent and cashed up. He decides the best way to lose his virginity is to hire an escort. The progression of the relationship here from transactional to something more is not smooth. Lando really doesn’t have much of an understanding about how a relationship should work and makes a few big missteps, especially later in the story as the emotional stakes get higher. Daniel is professional and gentle as he gradually figures out exactly what Lando needs. Lando is physically inexperienced and emotionally awkward and nothing about it is easy.

Silence settles over steeping tea and half-eaten fruit, and he wishes he’d left the music on, because at least it would make this awkwardness bearable. He’s had super wealthy clients before, but none of them this young, and none of them this achingly insecure where it was practically bleeding out of them. Everyone who has ever booked him as wanted him there, obviously—it feels like Lando would rather eat glass than sit in the same room as him. Daniel clears his throat. “So, first time, huh?” Lando chokes mid sip.

Carlos/Charles

In for a penny, in for a pound by @f1-stuff | M | 7k (ongoing) Charles, smarting after being unceremoniously dumped by his girlfriend, hires an escort to take as his plus one to Arthur's wedding. A dashingly handsome man turns up to the rendezvous, and they figure out Charles checked the wrong box when he was making the appointment. He's spent the money, Carlos is easy company, so he decides to roll with it. This fic is amusing and sweet. Carlos is wonderful at his job - perceptive and empathetic and kind, and is probably way ahead in understanding of Charles's sexuality than Charles is himself.

“Charles...listen,” he says, shifting slightly in his chair. He looks self-assured and confident with one leg crossed over the other, hands loosely clasped over his knee. Charles is annoyed and jealous of him all at once. “I probably shouldn’t say this, considering why you hired me. But you are trying to prove to your ex that you aren’t sad and lonely by hiring someone to pretend to be in love with you...” The man raises his brows at him. “You do see the irony, no?” Charles scoffs, shaking his head down at his lap. But he can’t deny that this guy sort of, possibly, has a point. Great, even the escort he’s paying to not make him feel so pitiful is calling him out.

Mark/Seb

nsfw: pleaser by @alltimecharlo | E | 34.6k Seb is a student struggling to make rent, and Mark is a very successful lawyer. They enter a mutually beneficial agreement. This story is fantastic - the author characterises them both beautifully, and they are the perfect balance of sweet and hot and funny. I particularly loved Sebastian's first trip to Mark's house... A gorgeous story, with lots to love.

Mark’s sitting right there. Like, directly in front of the changing room in one of the extremely comfy-looking armchairs, his eyes latching directly onto his form once it’s revealed and lingering there so heavily that Sebastian almost feels the need to hide his entirely clothed body. The older’s green eyes flick up and down his lithe frame so intensely that Seb can feel his stomach doing flips and a burning heat instilling under his skin. It only worsens when he watches Mark’s tongue dart outwards to wet at his lips.

In order to keep this list organised we have chosen to categorise it as 'Sex Worker AUs'– note that we understand that some tropes here are not always sexual in nature nor are they always categorised as sex work. We respect any and all sex workers and non sex workers alike!

#landoscar #maxiel #piarles #charlos #carlando #sebchal #dando #yukierre #pairing:carlos/charles #pairing:charles/pierre #pairing:charles/seb #pairing:carlos/lando #pairing:lando/oscar #pairing:daniel/max #pairing:daniel/lando #driver:carlos #driver:charles #driver:pierre #driver:daniel #driver:yuki #driver:lando #driver:oscar #driver:seb #driver:max #pairing:pierre/yuki #trope:sex work #pairing:mark/seb #driver:mark

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

I’m Still Here - A comment on media culture and perception 14 years later

I know I'm not the first person to make a connection between this 'Still Here' hat that Taylor wore last year and Joaquin Phoenix's 2010 mockumentary "I'm Still Here", but having now actually seen it, I can't not pick it up and comment on just how relevant this still is and how much it mirrors Taylor's experience and relationship with the media, especially as she herself described it during the reputation era. And seeing as this film is largely perceived as having flopped and fell on deaf ears, because the general public didn't get the commentary that was being made, I think it deserves a closer look and deep dive, even if it's 14 years later. I will be using the comments from a great article by Hanne Hermens, published in 2020 in diggit magazine (available here).

What is 'I'm Still Here'?

Back in 2008, actor Joaquin Phoenix announced his retirement from acting and proceeded to seemingly pursue a career as a rapper/ hip hop musician with limited levels of talent or success on that front. A lot of people thought it was a joke at first, but as the months went on and Phoenix descended into a scruffy, unstable version of himself, the majority of people seemed to buy into it and assumed that he'd just lost the plot. I was only 19 and living in Australia at the time, but I remember the media frenzy around this 'unhinged basket case' of a once famous actor when he'd apparently become something that was fair game for public mockery. Only a full 18 months after assuming this deranged public persona, did Phoenix reveal that it was in fact all performance art and his experience of the media and public engagement with his curated persona, a purposeful media scandal, was the subject of his non-fiction film. Somewhat not surprisingly, people didn't like being the butt of the joke and the film was perceived with a wave of outrage, people were calling him a liar, a con artist, and many other things. But just because the audience largely didn't like his way of holding a mirror up to celebrity and media culture, the question remains: Was this an elaborate hoax or was Joaquin Pheonix on to something with this portrayal?

It was certainly a big investment in a social experiment of how the media and public would react to a celebrity seemingly losing it and descending into chaos. And it did take a toll on Phoenix's mental health to be so publicly mocked, even though he'd curated this character and subsequent media storm intentionally. It does pose the question: Did he lie to everyone or did the media and public decide what his story was going to be because he dared to step out of his mold?

Hanne Hermens introduces the concept of narrativity in her article, a question of identity and authenticity when it comes to public figures and how they are portrayed in the media:

Personally, I think this film is a true masterpiece and just went completely over people's heads with the point it was trying to make. It was a very needed critique of celebrity media culture, and bear in mind this was 2010 when we barely had social media (!), it is so much more true and relevant today. And the bigger the celebrity, the more true it is. We create narratives and boxes for them that become truth, and don't you dare step out of it or you will be publicly humiliated... which brings me to our biggest current celebrity: Taylor Swift™

Taylor's relationship with the media goes as far back as her career is long, but has really taken a turn during her 1989 era, resulting in her her self-perceived cancellation in 2016 and her 'rise from the ashes' reputation era, which was very heavily styled around media narratives and it was the first time that she actually released music hitting back at the industry and media landscape. And, in particular, something that really reminded me of the points made above in the film and article, is the reputation prologue (the only words she ever said about this otherwise commentless album):

Like Hermens suggests, Taylor acknowledges the way the media narratives create truth for a celebrity in the eyes of the public. And she is making it very clear that she is the curator of her own narrative by 'what she choses to show us'. Something she also heavily emphasized in her 2023 TIME Person of the Year interview. So much so, that the article literally starts with "Taylor Swift is telling me a story..." and ends with the journalist wondering if everything he just heard and subsequently wrote about, was laid out for him to perceive in a certain favourable narrative. Maybe he felt tricked in a similar way to the public reacting to Phoenix's mockumentary, realising they were part of the game. But she does it in such a remarkable way that you can't help but play your part. Trust the greatest storyteller of our generation to beat the media at their own game. She has years of experience. But I think she's about done with this circus.

Reality or.... the manuscript?

If you are offended by the suggestion that Taylor Swift's public image is entirely curated and has very little to nothing to do with her real person, then please stop reading now. I think it is not too much of a reach to assume that at the very least, the majority of this larger than life persona she has become, is fake. If the songs on TTPD haven't given you that impression, you really aren't listening. In a way, her career so far has been an 18 year run of a show where she is the main character ("The years passed like scenes of a show"). And haven't the last 12 or so months given performance art vibes?? The Mayhem with Matty? The High School musical romance with Travis? The freakin Super Bowl?? Maybe I'm just too grossed out by it all, but it seems more fake and over the top than usual. And funny how most of the people she's hung out with during those months are all actors...

Relax, I'm not saying that she will pull the rug tomorrow and make all her little fans look like fools for believing in this show (although it would be funny...). But I think after all these years, it would be her prerogative to stop playing their game. Stop being a circus animal, or a toy in a box. The Tortured Poets songs are a warning (she said so herself in her summation poem) that, just like when Joaquin Phoenix pulled the curtain on his elaborate trick, many people aren't going to like what's coming. But I truly hope that this time, the message will not be so lost on people. Yes, we are all part of the problem. Our intrinsic nosiness and tendency to make celebrities into characters, remove their humanity and believe pictures in magazines more than their own words or art. We think we know someone, but the truth is, that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us.

If we should be so lucky to meet the true Taylor some day soon, I for one, am excited to meet her.

#joaquin phoenix #i'm still here #taylor swift #celebrity media culture

[queenshelby]

Forbidden Desire (Part Four)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (Female/Incestuous)

Warnings: Incest (at this stage accidental), Age Gap, PTSD, Domestic Abuse, Self-Harm, Fluff, Mild Smut

Words: 5,456

Summary:

This plays after Grace’s death but before Tommy becomes a politician. Lizzie is pregnant with Tommy’s child, so it is somewhere around season four.

In this fic, Tommy suffers from episodes of PTSD and so does the reader, resulting from trauma and abuse. They will help and save each other without realising that their connection is much stronger than they could have anticipated.

There will be love, fluff and smut as well as a highly taboo relationship.

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

QUESTION: WHO IS TOMMY TO THE READER? WHOOPS!

YOUR POV

The following day, you again, arrived at the gambling den on time only to find out that Tommy was not there and neither were any of his brothers.

Polly and Michael too were absent from the den that day and the only person who barged in at around 9 o’clock was a woman by the name of Linda.

She was blonde and beautiful, with lovely curls and hypnotic eyes. She appeared stressed however and when you introduced yourself to her, she chuckled.

“I know who you are. My husband told me about you this morning” the woman then said and you queried her.

“Your husband?” you asked, not knowing who she was married to.

“Arthur Shelby. He is my husband and I believe that, last night, you met him, at the state library” Linda explained before sitting down and looking through the betting book.

“Yes, I did. He seemed nice” you acknowledged before thinking back to last night which is when Arthur, who happened to be Tommy’s oldest brother, came to find him. He too was in a panic last night, telling Tommy that he found someone they have been looking for. An acquaintance of some sort and, with that, Tommy had to leave rather abruptly.

Leaving you with his car and the key to the library, Tommy said goodbye without a kiss and it was almost like he did not want his brother to know about the fact that he took a liking in you.

Why this was the case, you did not know but, somehow, it was bothering you. You felt as though he was embarrassed by the way he had met you, in less than ideal circumstances and, the idea of Tommy being ashamed of you, was stuck in your head for the entire night.

You got no sleep whatsoever and needed to know the true nature behind Tommy’s intensions. Why was he so afraid of showing his feelings towards you in front of others? Was this just a game to him? Something to kill his boredom with perhaps?

“Y/N” you then suddenly heard Linda as, clearly, you were daydreaming and thinking too much about last night.

“Yes Linda” you responded almost reluctantly.

“Are you alright taking some bets today? Because we will be on our own until 3 o’clock” she then said and you realised that she must have asked you this very same question just seconds ago to which, clearly, you had failed to respond.

“Yes, I can take bets. You may just need to help me write them down. I am okay with numbers, but complex words are a different story” you admitted to her before asking where everyone was.

“There was an incident last night, near the docks in Camden Town” Linda told you but this did not really answer your question.

“What sort of incident?” you thus asked but Linda shrug her shoulders.

“Business I suppose” Linda said. “My husband never really tells me everything but, what I know is that Tommy was shot last night and this is why he isn’t here today. Lizzie cancelled all of his meetings” Linda explained and your chin dropped while fear began to overwhelm you.

“Oh my god Linda. You need to tell me what happened to Tommy” you demanded, but Linda did not, immediately, answer your question.

“So it is true what Lizzie said. You have taken a liking in Tommy” Linda observed instead. “My oh my, little one. You know you don’t stand a chance, right? Tommy is not a man who is faithful. Despite, he is marrying Lizzie, so…” Linda then went on to say but you did not care and repeated your question.

“Linda, is Tommy okay?” you asked again, to which, finally, you received an answer.

“Yes. He is fine. It is not the first time he got shot and the man who shot him is now laying in a ditch somewhere. My husband made sure of that” Linda told him while you were quick to reach for your coat, causing Linda to ask where you were going.

“I need to see him” you told her, causing Linda to roll her eyes.

“No, you don’t. What you need to do is to help me run this office. Tommy will be just fine” Linda said sternly before making an observation. “You have no idea what Tommy does, do you?” she then asked but the question was a rhetorical one. “He may be my brother in law, but he is not a good man” she furthermore said. “It is because of Tommy that my husband is acting the way he does. He had found God after having been jailed for his crimes, but now he is back carrying our Tommy’s dirty work. It’s appalling and you should stay away from him” Linda finally mentioned to you but this was not all she had to say.

“I know about you. I know about your stepfather too. Tommy is looking for him’” Linda revealed and you gasped momentarily in response.

“What are you talking about?” you wanted to know, seeing that you were not aware of any business Tommy had with your stepfather.

“You think that Tommy chose you out of kindness or love?” Linda chuckled after realising how oblivious you were. “Lizzie is right. You are naïve. Your stepfather has a gambling debt with Shelby Company Limited and went into hiding after using a false identity to steal from Tommy’s family business. Tommy wants to recover the debt and make him pay for stealing from him. This is why he needs you” Linda then told you and it all started to make sense now.

Tommy did not like you. He was using you. This was all you were to him.

“I need to go Linda” you then told her as you were trying hard to hold back your tears. You were feeling betrayed and upset by what Linda had told you and, even though you still could not be sure about Tommy’s true intentions towards you, you were almost certain that you were nothing but a means to an end. 

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

Tommy Shelby Tag List:

@fastfan

@elenavampire21

@dolllol2405

@allie131313

@cilliansangel

@coldbastille

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@cdej6

@kathrinemelissa

@landlockedmermaid77

@crazymar15

@damedomino  

@lauren-raines-x

@miss-bunny19

@skinny-bitch-juice

@odorinana

@cloudofdisney

@weepingstudentfishhorse

@allexiiisss

@geminiwolves

@letsstarsfalling

@ysmmsy

@chlorrox

@tommyshelbypb

@chocolatehalo

@music-lover911

@desperate-and-broken

@mysticaldeanvoidhorse

@peaky-cillian

@lelestrangerandunusualdeetz

@december16-1991

@captivatedbycillianmurphy

@romanogersendgame

@randomfangirl2718

@missymurphy1985

@peakyscillian

@lilymurphy03

@deefigs

@theflamecrystal

@livinginfantaxy

@rosey1981

@hanster1998

@fairypitou

@zozeebo

@kasaikawa

@littleweirdoalien

@sad-huffle-nerd

@theflamecrystal

@0ghostwriter0

@stylescanbeatmyback

@1-800-peakyblinders

@datewithgianni

@momoneymolife

@mcntsee

@janelongxox

@basiclassy

@chaotic-bean-of-smolness

@margoo0

@vhscillian

@crazymar15

@im-constantly-fangirling

@namelesslosers

@littlewhiterose

@ttzamara

@cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon

@dolllol2405

@pkab

@babaohhhriley

@littleweirdoalien

@alreadybroken-ts

@masteroperator

@stevie75

@shabzy96

@rainbow12346

@obsessedwithfandomsx

@geeksareunique

@laysalespoir

@paigem00

@lkarls

@vamp-army

@luckystarme

@myjumper

@gxorg

@eline-1806

@goldenharrysworld

@cristinagronk16

@stylesofloki

@faatxma

@slut-for-matt-murdock

@tpwkstiles

@myjumper

@cloudofdisney

@look-at-the-soul

@smellyzcat

@kittycatcait219

@theliterarybeldam

@layazul

@lyn07

@kagilmore

@50svibes

@mainstreetlilly

@ourthatgirlabby

@bitchwhytho

@takethee

@registerednursejackie

@sofi128

@mrkdvidal1989

@minxsblog

@heidimoreton

@laylasbunbunny

@laylasbunbunny

@queenshelby

@camilleholland89

@forgottenpeakywriter

@vintagecherryt

@indierockgirrl

@mrkdvidal1989

@bluesongbird

@dudde-44

@gasolinesavages

@kissforvoid

@bluebird592

@1eugenia1isabella1

@esposadomdp

@lulunalua23

@lovelace42

@bookklover23

@iwantmyredvelvetcupcake

@moonmaiden1996

@marlenamallowan

@cyphah (cannot tag)

@majesticcmey

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@throughgoeshamilton

@alessioayla

@elenavampire21

@justforfiction

@cilliansangel

@alannielaraye (cannot tag)

@satellitelh

@simplyreading96

@idledream​s

@vic-top​

#Tommy Shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x y/n #peaky blinders fanfic #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders au #peaky blinder #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders smut #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine

[wishfuldivine]

PT. 3 of GhostSoapGaz, where Ghoap are always going on dates and keep bringing Gaz with them because they love him, but he doesn't know.

Gaz walked down the empty streets with his emotions in such a wreck. His mind was beyond a mush right now. Thoughts on an annoying limbo. The need to just get under his sheets in the comfort of his lonely room becoming a must.

His suppressed emotions were beginning to crack. The realization became clear when he witnessed the pure and genuine love between Soap and Ghost for the first time.

Soap had gotten a bullet near his shoulder which resulted in a bed rest for a couple of weeks. Ghost had been opposed on leaving the demolition sergeant by himself, always visiting. The softness and tender care in which Ghost assisted Soap with anything declared nothing but love. Soap soaking it all in with delight.

That's when he first cried in a very long time. Cried for being such an idiot and feeling like a complete asshole. As if he was breaking their trust without doing anything. He never should've fallen in love with them.

He was so lost in his own head that it took a moment to realize that his phone was vibrating in his jeans pocket. He paused on the sidewalk and took it out to see the incoming call. Soap. He sighed deeply, not knowing if he should answer it or ignore.

But ever the absolute sweetheart and caring man, he answered anyway. He didn't want for his fellow sergeant to worry for him despite the inner turmoil he's dealing with right at this moment.

"Garrick here."

"Gaz? Where did you go, lad? Everythin' okay?"

"I'm fine, mate. Just needed some air. It was very crowded there, yeah? I didn't want to be a pest with my claustrophobia, so I just came back to base."

'You're such a fucking liar.'

"Should've told me! Or Ghost! We would've canceled and gone back together. Your health over this. You know that."

He felt like crying again. The simple truth was that THEY would've done that. Being kind and understanding people even if different when on the line of battle, they definitely would've been so considerate of him. Their teammate. It elicited a small sliver of hope that it was because of love. Because they felt the same.

But alas, that was just wishful thinking. They were so in love with each other. And he was going to make sure to keep it that way.

God, why did he have to fall in love? With them no less? Sometimes, he wished they were annoying and simply cunts. It would've made everything so much better and not be in this predicament.

Such a fucking mess. Big mess.

"Nah, I'm okay. Thanks, though. You enjoy the rest of the night, mate. See you later." He hung up without letting Soap finish what he was saying. Or maybe he didn't bother to care.

He rubbed a hand over his face with another deep sigh. It felt like the one hundredth time of doing so. It was beginning to get tiresome.

'I can't fucking do this.'

He needed a break from all this. He fucking needed it so badly. With the sudden change of mind, his eyes roamed the area and landed on a pub a couple of blocks away. Maybe a few drinks will be good for him instead of drowning in the emptiness of his room and tormented heart.

Everything was hurting too much. And maybe, just maybe, drinking his sorrows away will do.

#kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghostgaz #soapgaz #ghostsoapgaz #gaz x soap #gaz x ghost #ghoap #call of duty #cod #angst #my baby needs a fucking hug #he's really going through it #the many times i had to rewrite this was insane #ali writes

[belliesandburps]

Demonic Belly Love (Sadao x Ashiya Stuffing Fic)

Been a minute since I posted a kink fic, but here's another late December reward I just wrapped. This time, focusing on Sadao binging on a whole lotta Mgronald's because no self-respecting demon is gonna let all that junkfood go to waste.

The end result of which is a very bloated and burpy Sadao, which Ashiya doesn't mind one iota. ;)

“Sire, is this truly wise?” Ashiya asked while scratching at the back of his neck uneasily while the sound of munching and gulping filled the air. He watched as his young master sat on the ground, dressed in his usual T-Shirt and boxers combo, greedily munching away on burgers like the end times were fast approaching.

Sadao swallowed hard, sending a sizable lump down his throat before he huffed to himself and licked his lips. “Look, we had a huge takeout order that had to cancel after everything was already made. I wasn't about to let all this stuff go to waste. Plus, it tastes like crap if ya leave it in the fridge and reheat it,” Sadao insisted before taking another hearty bite of his burger. “So, unless you wanna jump in and help me eat more-”

“-Sire, truly, I simply cannot eat another bite before I start to experience digestive discomfort,” Ashiya chimed in, holding his stomach protectively with one hand. Though it wasn't visibly bloated the way Sadao's stomach was starting to get, it was nonetheless pushing against his shirt slightly.

“Well, there ya go then,” Sadao remarked with his mouthful before swallowing heavily, huffing, and going right back to munching away. “Besides, how often do I get to chow down like this?”

“...About once a week...” Ashiya muttered under his breath.

“What was that?” Sadao asked a little sharply.

“Nothing!” Ashiya said with an all too sweet and innocent smile, one Sadao didn't buy for one second, but nonetheless, let go so he could go back to his binge-eating.

The young demon ate at a rapid rate. His sharper, inhuman teeth made quick work of every burger or handful of fries he shoved into his greedy maw, causing every mouthful he gulped down to send a sizable bulge down his neck. Ashiya watched as Sadao continued to voraciously wolf down all that fast food, having been given a front row seat to Sadao's gluttony on numerous occasions, especially whenever there was left over food at MgRonald's in need of disposing.

Granted, both young men were demons, so even a whole lot of fast food wasn't even close to the most either of them could wolf down. But even though their appetites were unmatched compared to any other humans, in these young, lean human bodies of theirs, they did have their limits. Especially when it came to junk food.

Though, with Sadao, Ashiya could never gauge just what those limits were. When it came to free junk food, Sadao was a bottomless pit...

Sadao just ate and ate, sending more of that greasy, salty goodness down his gullet; devouring all he got his mitts on at a feverish pace. Ashiya was kind of astonished at how fast that pile of burgers and pepper fries was vanished. Honestly, if they ever held any cash-prize eating contests in-town, Sadao could probably clean out the competition with ease.

As time went on, Sadao's gorging slowed down; the sheer volume of food filling him up was starting to take its toll. Taking a break from stuffing his face, Sadao leaned back and groaned. “Whew, oh man, I'm gettin' pretty full...” Sadao moaned, rubbing his belly with one hand while the other rested against the ground for support. The usually flat organ had grown quite bloated at that point, rounding out beneath his shirt by over a foot, stretching his shirt out to the point where Ashiya could see a clear outline of Sadao's bellybutton.

Ashiya couldn't help but notice a sliver of flesh exposing itself from the bottom of Sadao's shirt, and blushing a little at the sight of his masters smooth, tanned flesh.

As Ashiya was about to suggest that maybe Sadao call it a day, a prolonged, gaseous gurgle erupted from Sadao's heavy belly while he rubbed it. Sadao grimaced with discomfort for a moment, until he lurched his head back and let out a big, rumbling belch. The abrasive sound echoed throughout their tiny apartment and could've easily been heard from outside.

“Sire, honestly...” Ashiya muttered, shaking his head.

But Sadao just sighed with relief and gave his belly a couple of hearty pats of satisfaction. “Oof! Damn, did I need that, heh...” he moaned out, giving his round gut one last relieved smack and ushering another burp in the process. “Hehe, think I made a lil more room there too.” Sadoa's grin turned impish with that as he turned back to the remainder of his fast food feast, and went back to chowing down.

As more and more burgers vanished down Sadao's gullet, his midsection continued to steadily swell out, growing rounder and heavier with each juicy, greasy burger he greedily devoured. Ashiya watched in real time as Sadao's already bulging belly expanded more and more. The blood rushed to his cheeks as the bottom of Sadao's shirt continued to ride up higher and higher, exposing more of Sadao's burgeoning bare belly as it grew weightier.

Sadao was getting so bloated that he had to scoot back just to keep his globular gut from pushing against the little table they had on the floor.

The young, overstuffed demon lord just kept on packing it away, eating more fast food than any being on this planet could ever justify wolfing down. He paused periodically to catch his breath or to rub his ever-expanding gut.

Sadao also found himself burping more frequently, both to make as much room in his heavy gut as he could manage, but also because of just how gassy all that junk food was making him.

The young demonic frycook kept at it, powering through his dwindling pile of burgers and fries, all while his growing gut gurgled and churned the more Sadao filled it up. Until finally, a long last, every last scrap of food was churning away inside of Sadao's utterly enormous stomach.

Ashiya honestly couldn't recall the last time he'd seen his liege so stuffed before. Sadao's gut had ballooned out by over two feet, riding his shirt up just below his chest, exposing the entirety of that dome. Not only were his thighs spread out to give that fleshy beachball of a belly some desperately needed breathing room, but Ashiya couldn't help but notice that Sadao's hefty gut was weighing his boxers down, showing off more of Sadao's hips in the process.

Sadao just sat there, groaning in an overstuffed daze for a few moments, before a long, rumbling belch erupted intensely from his maw for a good five or so seconds straight. When it ended, Sadao huffed breathlessly, then, using his hands against the ground for support, he slumped back, his huge belly wobbled from the motion while everything digesting within Sadao sloshed noisily.

“...Urrrgh, dude...I'm gonna buuuUUUUUrrrrrrrst...oof...” Sadao tried to speak up, only to cut himself off with another overstuffed burp that left him huffing and hitting his chest a few times to clear his windpipes.

“I'm kind of amazed you haven't already, sire,” Ashiya mused as he ogled his master and roommates' girthy gut with a hint of lust.

Muffling a rather deep burp behind his fist that puffed out his cheeks, Sadao exhaled the gas off to the side and grunted out, “Mph, y'mind doin' something about this, man...?”

Ashiya's eyes practically bugged out of his skull.

“...I...uh...w-why, of course, sire...i-it'd be my pleasure!” Ashiya insisted, swallowing thinly as he sat directly behind Sadao and, all too eagerly, wrapped his arms around Sadao's sides and placed both of his hands on Sadao's big, bubbling belly.

The big, churning organ felt so unbelievably soft to the touch, and so invitingly warm. Due to his demonic digestive system, everything Sadao ate churned away so much faster than it would for an average human. The result of which left Sadao's ample midsection much softer and jigglier than it would otherwise have been, being left so stuffed.

Ashiya practically shuddered at the sensation, but not as much as Sadao did when those long, delicate fingers began to gently stroke every inch of that vast belly.

“Groooaaaahhhh...hoooooly crap, that feels incredible, dude...” Sadao all but purred as Ashiya gingerly rubbed his belly.

“I live but to serve, my liege,” Ashiya replied, letting Sadao lean his back against his broad chest while he kneaded and caressed that big ball of flesh.

Ashiya kneaded into Sadao's belly, using his fingertips to really work out any knots in Sadao's stomach muscles that he could feel. All the while, Ashiya ogled Sadao's belly, marveling longingly at the swollen mass weighing the otherwise skinny demon lord down. He especially couldn't take his eyes off of Sadao's bellybutton; tightened yet a little deeper than usual.

As Ashiya rubbed, he looked down from past Sadao's shoulder and just took in the sight of the young demon lord's belly in his hands. He bit his lower lip and remarked, “I must confess, sire...unhealthy though your eating habits may be from time to time...this look suits you quite nicely...”

Even in his overstuffed state, Sadao managed a weak but cheeky smirk back at Ashiya from overhead and said, “Heh, what, ya wanna see your demon lord turn into a giant fatass now?”

“I confess, there is something rather...appealing, seeing your belly take on such a...corpulent state...” Ashiya conceded, stroking his hand down the side of Sadao's glutted gut, and starting to caress his oh-so-tender underbelly, before gripping at the soft underside and giving Sadao's belly a slight jiggle.

The jostling disrupted another pocket of gas within Sadao's gut, prompting him to push a fist to his mouth again and just barely manage to muffle another sizable belch. “Easy there, jeez...” Sadao muttered, palming his chest and letting out a smaller burp that he didn't bother muffling that time.

“My apologies, sire, how's this...?” Ashiya asked as his long index finger started slowly and faintly caressing the rim of Sadao's tight bellybutton.

Almost immediately, Sadao moaned with delight, especially when Ashiya's fingertip dipped into his navel and started to knead around inside. He slumped back even further against Ashiya's chest, making his hefty gut jut out more in Ashiya's grasp. One hand continued to gingerly stroke the soft, delicate underside of Sadao's belly while his other continued to finger his bellybutton.

Sadao huffed with euphoria, his tongue hanging out of his maw in an almost suggestive manner, the deeper Ashiya kneaded into his bellybutton. Both their cheeks were going flush at this point as Ashiya continued kneading his navel.

Ashiya couldn't get enough of the way he felt Sadao's entire belly slosh and jiggle whenever he pushed in and out. Sadao's digestive system really was working in full throttle to break down all that junkfood.

However, Ashiya might've pushed a little too deeply, because as he pushed into Sadao's bellybutton hard enough, Sadao's stomach gave an especially deep burble. Like clockwork, Sadao winced, then threw his head back as a big, raunchy belch rumbled out of him. Ashiya could actually feel Sadao's belly physically ripple in his grasp and around his finger as Sadao burped.

Sadao huffed when it finished and sat up a little, prompting Ashiya to pull his finger out of his bellybutton. The look on Sadao's face indicated he still felt another pressure pocket brewing. He gulped down some air, causing his throat to gurgle lowly as he gave the side his weighty belly a few firm slaps, making it jostle in his (and Ashiya's) hand, before Sadao burped again. It was another loud, obnoxious sound with some heft to it, but still not one that gave him relief.

“Oof...dammit, there's a big one stuck in there,” Sadao insisted as he smacked his fat, jiggling belly to try and knock it loose.

“Sire, if I may?” Ashiya insisted with a roll of his eyes.

He once again pulled Sadao back down against his chest and let his hands roam up and down that vast, smooth beachball of flesh. As he felt Sadao's belly up, he felt a particularly tense portion around the upper side of his stomach. So, Ashiya dug his fingertips into that portion of Sadao's soft flesh and pushed down firmly; a large, guttural belch bellowed loudly from Sadao almost immediately.

Sadao huffed breathlessly, but before he could finish catching his breath, Ashiya grasped that area just above Sadao's bellybutton and squeezed down. Like clockwork, another huge burp blasted past Sadao's lips, followed by a sharp afterburp.

Ashiya kept caressing Sadao's belly, feeling for any tense portions before pushing down and forcing Sadao to belch with ferocity. After an especially rumbly burp, Sadao was left panting like a dog with his tongue hanging from his maw while Ashiya continued to feel his belly up with dissatisfaction on his face. “Hmph, I can still feel all that pressure. We need to up our strategy, sire, and I think I know what to do.”

Before Sadao could ask what he meant, Ashiya grabbed either side of Sadao's big belly with both hands, and began to shake it up and down. Sadao's eyes widened as his bloated belly jostled aggressively; the digesting contents within him sloshing around heavily, and stirring up tons of gas in the process.

“Sire, refrain from belching at this time. No matter how badly you want to, hold it in for as long as you can,” Ashiya insisted firmly as he continued jiggling Sadao's belly.

Sadao winced painfully, but nonetheless complied, but it was getting harder and harder to do so. His thrashing belly churned and bubbled noisily and painfully. He could feel all that gas building up within him, begging to be released. Sadao had never needed to burp so badly in his entire life.

Ashiya jiggled away, blushing at how much he was loving this feeling of Sadao's big, soft belly quivering in his hands. But eventually, he felt enough gas build up, causing that bloated organ to grow slightly taut from the sheer volume of pressure now quite loudly gurgling away. And when he felt Sadao had finally had enough, he wrapped his arms firmly around Sadao's belly, grabbing it from the dead center, and squeezing down as hard as he could; hugging Sadao against his chest tightly to apply even more vice-like pressure to Sadao's gut.

Sadao's eyes bugged out for a moment as a rush of pressure rocketed aggressively up his gullet. Until finally, from the belly of the beast, exploded forth an utterly COLOSSAL belch!

It blasted from Sadao's maw with such ferocity that not only did his belly ripple intensely with the expulsion, but Ashiya could feel the ground itself quiver from just how strong that eructation was. The sheer volume was eardrum-shatteringly loud, to where it was all but certain they'd get a noise complaint for this one. And the burp didn't let up either. Ashiya squeezed on Sadao's belly even harder as he burped, causing Sadao's throat-abusing eruption to rattle out of him for a painful nine straight seconds. It seemingly just got louder and stronger as all that gas exploded past Sadao's rippling lips, with several strands of saliva spewing along with the gas.

After what felt like an eternity, Sadao was left utterly winded. Even with how enormous his gut was, he felt deflated. He panted and huffed, appearing dazed as he slumped back in Ashiya's arms in exhaustion. “Hah...hrraaaah, hooooooooly crap, dude, that was...” Sadao started to say, but paused, clenched his eyes shut, and let out one last big, throaty afterburp, too winded to even speak at that point. That, plus his throat actually hurt after that one.

Ashiya simply smirked and fanned the air around his nostrils and uttered, “Sire...I believe the correct words you were looking for were, 'excuse me'...”

But Sadao was simply too winded to say anything at that point. He just slumped onto his back, until his head was on Ashiya's lap and his enormous belly was jutting up like a fleshy hill. Ashiya simply rolled his eyes yet again, but blushed at the sight, and resumed rubbing it with one hand. Sufficed to say, Ashiya definitely wouldn't mind Sadao indulging more often...

#fat belly #belly kink #bloated belly #sadao #ashiya #stuffing kink #stuffing fic #post stuffing #bellyache #overstuffed #burping #gassy #belly rubs #ship #patreon reward #reward fic #am i shilling good enough mr krabs? #demons

[cat-and-fox-hub]

Alliance DDLC AU!

Made by Cat, aka Researcher Serif

(TW: suicide, death)

Welcome, one an’ all to our DDLC AU ft. @cosmica-galaxy's Alliance bois! this has been stewing for a while but I finally done it!

Since the Bois tend to go in trios, I added a two special guests; Veteran & Brown-Coated Cameraman!

Veteran here has a platonic/familial relationship with the Literature Club's resident human, you! But, when it comes to you, dear Viewer, it's another story altogether~.

Brown-coated Cameraman is also like Veteran in terms of relationship with you but also you as well.

Anywaes, I do hope you enjoy!

(Sorry in advance if the format is janky, I'm still experimenting styles for my writing.)

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[Close ups and extra commentary below!]

As a forewarning, I will being using -dere typings, a suffix to that derives from the Japanese onomatopoeia 'deredere' meaning 'lovey dovey' to describe characters that express their affection in different ways, or on different levels, for their personalities with a summarized explanation of what the -dere type is given.

(Also keep in mind that while they take the roles of the DDLC girls, their personality don't exactly match with them. They more take some aspects from them into their base personalities, which has been ever so lovely provided by Rus.)

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The Main Trio! Took some finagling around to put them in roles I think was most suited for them but I decided on this!

ღ⊱ | Sayori!Cameron |

His base personality is a Dereyandere, mostly a Deredere, a sweet and happy-go-lucky energetic type character, with hints of non-violent Yandere, an obsessive and lovesick character willing to go varying (usually extreme) lengths for their perceived beloved

In this AU, he's more ditzy than his base self and that's pretty much it. Not much change here really.

I chose him because his cheerful and jealous pouty nature just reminds me of Sayori and his yan side reminds me of the Act 4 ending should you choose to delete Monika's file resulting in Sayori becoming the Club President.

ღ⊱ | Yuri!Vee |

His personality is a Kuutsundere, mostly a Kuudere, a calm, and collected character type that usually appears stoic in nature, with hints of Tsundere, a prideful character that seems/acts harsh on the outside but is softer on the inside

In this AU, he's a bit shy and into strange literature like Yuri but no less stoic and mature like his base self

He also adopted the yandere tendencies, obsession with knives, and 'testing' them on himself as Yuri does when his personality values are tampered with

ღ⊱ | Natsuki!DJ |

His base personality is a Deredere with go-with-the-flow/chill vibes from my observations

In this AU, he's a bit more exasperated and possessive than his base self. He's still the chill and happy-go-lucky unit we all know but just a bit more mellow in the way he gets a little more defensive about his feelings towards you, both to you and those that seem to like you too

Basically, Nastuki's tsundereness somewhat cancels out his more joyfully energetic side a tad

Initially, he was in Sayori's role before I started swapping with Cameron for a while. They were going back and forth roles the entire time lol

I was nearly done with drawing this when I realize he'd probably be a bit better as Sayori, but again, I was almost finished so we get this!

( _-ヮ-;)\

ღ⊱ | Monika!Veteran |

His base personality is serious and fatherly-inclined. He doesn't really align to any -dere types but if we were to stick to the whole -dere personality typing, the closest -dere type he'd be is a Jendere, a calm, gentlemanly, and distinguished character type.

There's more terms that attach itself to it like strict, fatherly, kind, and/or elegant which is why I thought this was the closest -dere typing for him

In this AU, he has more yandere tendencies that manifest in a similar way to that of Monika's own tendencies, just in a more guilty, conducted way seeing as he's the eldest, their senior, and shouldn't be causing the destabilization and deaths of his younger, junior club members because his deep love for you.

He's also younger in this AU considering DDLC's setting but that still doesn't offset the DILF vibes he got goin on lol

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ღ⊱ | You've achieved the Bad Endings! |

ღ⊱ | Sayori!Cameron | "It's, what do you call it, just a little rain cloud! I-I'm fine! Promise!" ღ⊱ | Yuri!Vee | "What to do for my core that flutters when our gazes meet? Ah! I-I apologize, I said too much..." ღ⊱ | Natsuki!DJ | "Whatever's on your mind, I'm sure it was nothing!"

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Hey! You there, looking at the screen! You seemed quite startled when things didn't seem like what they were at first. Especially since you exited so suddenly.

Monika!Veteran's been... watching, among other things. He's been waiting for quite a while for you to return so he's just a bit... antsy, to say the least, so please, don't be too alarmed looking at him!

But, your back! So all is good! And now, without the others in the way...

ღ⊱ | Monika!Veteran | "Let us spend the rest of our eternity together. What do you say? Just the two of us?"

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Veteran likes to pat his child our resident human like any good dad senior he is!

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The Main Trio giving you some well deserved affection! Veteran seems to have his Dad Instincts™ involuntarily flare up at this though...

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And of course, to top it all off, we have a Bonus Alt! AU ft. Rus' Mimic Trio and special guest, Brown-coated Cameraman!

ღ⊱ | Sayori!Pal |

His base personality is a Deredere to the max. A chipper and friendly guy to literally everyone he meets

In this Alt AU, his personality hasn't changed much from his base one, really. The only difference is him being a tad clumsy and a bit more somber at certain times, which is from Sayori's clumsy demeanor and depression.

ღ⊱ | Yuri!Buddy |

His personality is a Kuuyandere, majorly a Kuudere with hints of non-violent Yandere

In this Alt AU, he's quieter than his base self and a bit more maniac in his yandere tendencies when his personality values are tampered like Yuri's in DDLC.

He's also has a bit of shyness in the form of hand fidgeting from Yuri's own habit.

ღ⊱ | Natsuki!Fiend |

His base personality is a Kuutsunyandere, mostly a Kuutsundere with hints of non-violent Yandere

In this Alt AU, his tsundere side is a bit more prominent. Still a smug bastard, he's much more susceptible to getting flustered by things that involve his emotions due to Natsuki's influence

ღ⊱ | Monika!Brown-Coated Cameraman |

His base personality is a Megadere, a Deredere whose love is more obsessive and fangirlish in nature, which is rather obvious to everyone else, and sometimes, the love interest themselves

In this AU, his personality is more that of a Yeredere's, similar to a Megadere but even more crazy and obsessive like that of a sweeter, mostly non-violent Yandere which comes from Monika's own yandereness

He also very much leans into Monika's 'why can't I just be the one for once?' as a person who has very strong feelings of love and longing slapped in him

He just loves you so much. Won't you stay with him? Forever?

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Check out my main blog: @researcher-serif

Here's my NSFW blog if that tickles your fancy: @grandfather-of-sin

#all reblogs are appreciated! #no art thieves allowed #do not repost #without permission at least #reader insert #mine art #skibidi tag #skibidi toilet #skibidi toilet x reader #alliance x reader #skibidi mimic #skibidi toilet mimic #ddlc au #tw: death #tw: suicide #I hit my 'once in 5 years good post' quota #hope i get moar out before my usual quota repeats

[harrysfinelinevol1]

here for you

harry styles x reader

summary: harry is your husband and you are following him on his europe tour. halfway through you get quite sick which causes harry to get very worried about you especially because you're carrying a little secret

word count: 5k

warnings: none

Berlin was always one of your favourite places to visit. You found the city to be fascinating and the people there were always lovely. However this time around, you hadn't been able to really see it at all.

At his previous show in Poland, you had begun to feel a bit achy and tired but you had just put it down to poor sleep and always being on the move. However, after the day after the show, you had woken up to an excruciating headache, a chesty cough and you felt like you had a fever. During that day as you travelled from Poland to Germany, you had tried to play down how sick you were, not wanting to stress out your husband or distract him from his tour and so he remained mostly unaware of how awful you felt during that day. You arrived in Berlin late at night and went straight to the hotel. But at this point, you were starting to feel dizzy and you knew you needed to see a doctor. You knew you had the flu and in most normal circumstances you would just power through but not everything about your current circumstances was normal.

You were pregnant with Harry's baby. You had found out just before the Wembley show in London and you had been over the moon. You and Harry had been trying so luckily it wasn't a bad shock for you when the result came through as positive. You had told Harry and he had cried happy tears as he scooped you up into his arms, telling you how excited he was and how you would be the best mum. Since then he had become very protective of you, making sure you were always comfortable and trying the very best for you and your unborn baby. It had made you fall in love with him all over again. However, now that you were sick, you knew if you told him how ill you felt, he would panic and probably end up doing something rash, like cancel the show so he could be with you and you really didn't want him to do that.

So as you arrived at the hotel, and you knew you needed to see someone to check everything was ok, you sought out Sarah. Sarah and Mitch were some of the few people on the tour with you who you had told about the baby. Sarah had been really helpful during your first trimester as you struggled with morning sickness and the exhaustion you had felt.

You knocked on her hotel room door and it was quickly opened by Mitch who stared at you in confusion.

"Could I speak to Sarah?" you rasped, throat beginning to hurt now as well. Mitch quickly realised something wasn't right and let you in, helping you over to an armchair in the room and calling for Sarah, who was in the bathroom. She rushed out and came over to you, kneeling by your side.

"Oh love, what's up," she asked worried as you coughed, holding your hand against your head.

"I'm really ill. I think I need to see a doctor," you managed to get out and Sarah was quickly gesturing at Mitch to get her a phone.

"Ok, how long have you been feeling like this?" she questioned as Mitch handed her her phone and she scrolled to try and find the number for the doctor they had on tour with them.

"Probably since the last show," you mumbled, closing your eyes to try and lessen the thumping pain in your head. You heard the dial tone of Sarah's phone and her begin to explain to the doctor that he needed to come and see you. She explained your symptoms and also that you were pregnant and he said he would be right up. She put down the phone and held onto your hand as you waited.

"Does Harry know?" she whispered tentatively and you slowly shook your head.

"Y/N. You should tell him," Sarah told you but you shook your head again.

"He'll worry too much. He's already spending way too much time fretting about me and I just want him to focus on doing the best shows he can," you explained, sniffling slightly and Sarah just sighed but said nothing more. She knew you should have told him, but she respected your reasons for not doing so.

The doctor arrived quickly and gave you an examination to make sure everything was still ok with the baby, as well as prescribing you some medication to help with the flu. He told you that it was very important that you got some rest over the next couple of days and didn't push yourself at all. You agreed nervously, knowing it would be hard to explain to Harry why you were spending all day in bed. But you needed to do it for the health of your baby so you nodded along to whatever the doctor was saying.

After he left, you trudged back to your hotel room, still feeling horrible but the doctor had given you some pills so your symptoms were slightly less intense. You opened the door and chuckled slightly at the sight in front of you. Harry was fully clothed and face down on the bed, snoring slightly. You knew he was exhausted, it often happened halfway into the tour. You went about getting ready for bed, leaving him to sleep for a bit longer before you slowly shuffled round to his side of the bed, pushing the hair out of his face and giving him a small kiss on the head. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled softly when he saw you above him.

"Hi love," he mumbled sleepily.

"Let's get you to bed," you whispered, half to keep quiet and half because your throat was so sore that talking was quite difficult at the moment. He nodded as he pushed himself off the bed and padded into the bathroom. You went around the bed and clambered in, tucking yourself under the covers as the fever was making you shiver slightly, even though you knew you were hot to touch. You could feel yourself falling in and out of consciousness as Harry moved quietly around the room getting ready for bed. Eventually, he got into the bed beside you, frowning slightly when he noticed how hot you felt to touch and how you couldn't really focus on him.

"You ok love?" he wondered, scared that something might be wrong with the baby. You hummed back in response, too tired and ill to even be able to speak. Harry could tell he wasn't going to be able to get anything out of you as you were too tired but he couldn't help but worry. You had been strangely quiet all day, barely even saying a word and you had slept for the majority of it but you seemed exhausted now.

He had a fitful sleep, consumed by anxiety over whether you were ok. He kept waking up to check that you were still ok and he wished he could check that the baby was ok as well. He woke up in the morning, not feeling rested at all and frowned when he turned over and found that you were not lying next to him. Usually, he would wake up first and then wake you up with gentle kisses and touches but today that was not the case. He could see the light from the bathroom was on and guessed you were in there. He could hear retching and he cursed himself for not being there to help you through your morning sickness.

"Babe?!" he called out, quickly throwing off the covers and rushing into the bathroom where you were leaning on the toilet, face pale and clammy, dark circle under your eyes and you were trembling slightly. You looked horrible, worse than you usually looked when you had morning sickness. Harry's heart dropped when he saw you, it killed him to see the love of his life looking so unwell. He dropped down beside you, gathering your hair up in his hands and slowly rubbing your back as you retched and gagged.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled as you collapsed back against him. You had never felt worse in your life, the morning sickness combined with your flu had you feeling like you might not actually survive this.

"Baby, why are you apologising?" Harry questioned, stunned you'd try and apologise for being unwell.

"Because I can't imagine this is nice to deal with," you explained but he shook his head.

"Y/N, you are everything to me. I will always be there for you when you're feeling gross and sick because I love you so much. M' your husband love, I will look after you for the rest of my life," he professed and tears pricked your eyes. You felt so guilty for not telling him you were sick now because you could hear in his voice how worried he was about you.

"C'mon, let's get you back into bed," he said as he lifted you into his arms, letting you rest your weary head on his shoulder. He knew there was something going on other than your morning sickness, you looked too unwell. He gently placed you down on the bed, kneeling down beside you.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" he whispered to you and you sighed, knowing you needed to come clean.

"I'm not feeling very well. At all. I have the flu," you admitted. Harry ran his hands over his face before settling one hand on yours, giving it a squeeze.

"How long have you felt like this?" he inquired, knowing you would have tried to pretend like it was fine for as long as possible.

"Not very long," you tried but Harry shook his head.

"C'mon love, don't pretend to be ok. Let me help you," he pleaded.

"Haven't been feeling great since the last show."

"Ok, do we need to go see a doctor? Do you think the baby is ok?" he asked, eyes full of worry for his unborn child and you. You shook your head.

"I... um... well I saw the doctor last night," you told him and you felt horrible when you saw the sadness in his eyes.

"Baby, why didn't you tell me? I just came here and fell asleep like an idiot when I should have been there for you," he said, placing a hand on your forehead and flinching when he felt how hot you were. You shrugged slightly, squeezing your eyes shut so the tears that were threatening to fall down your cheeks wouldn't slip out. You had become a lot more emotional since getting pregnant and would cry at the smallest things.

Deep down, Harry knew exactly why you hadn't told him. You had always been very selfless and would only complain about something if it was really bad. He knew you didn't like to distract him from his work and he knew you hated it when he was overly worried about you. You always wanted him to be comfortable and happy on tour and focused on the fans and his music and not be concerned about you.

"Love, when will you realise that I will always worry about you. You're my love, my wife and the mother of my child. You are my first priority always," he insisted and you sniffled slightly.

"I know," you whimpered, feeling so bad for not telling Harry you were sick.

"Oh my love, please don't cry, it's ok," he tried to soothe you. "I just want you to be ok, yeah, so let me look after you."

"But your tour? You have a really busy day H," you pointed out and he scoffed.

"Fuck the tour. You're more important," he declared but you shook your head, sighing.

"Harry, you can't cancel your show over me. You just can't. I won't let you. It will make me feel worse if you do," you told him, your fears of him trying to do something rash because of your sickness coming true. He groaned slightly, knowing that you wouldn't back down over this and also that you were right. He couldn't just cancel a show but he didn't want to go to work and not be able to look after you. But he had an idea.

"Ok, listen I won't cancel the show, but you need to let me look after you. Come with me today, I'll make sure you have a place you can rest for the whole day. If you're too sick, that's fine, you can stay here and rest love, but if you can, please come with me. I wanna make sure you and the little one are alright," he begged. You could tell he was really going to struggle to leave you here on your own, and secretly you wanted to come and have him look after you although you would never admit it. So you nodded and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, love. If at any point you need to come back here, just let me know and we will. Now, let me get you some clean clothes and we'll go from there."

He helped you up, getting you out of your pyjamas, which your skin was sticking to due to your fever although you just felt cold. You whimpered loudly when you sat naked in the bed, intensely shivering and Harry ran around quickly getting you some new clothes, his heart breaking to see you so ill. He grabbed a big hoodie of his and some of your leggings out of the closet, as well as some underwear. Weakly, you let him dress you, your body using his for support as he pulled the jumper over your head. Once he had got you into clean clothes, he pulled you into his lap, holding you and rocking you to try and soothe you. It worked slightly, you found yourself relaxing in the arms of your love and it relieved some of the aches you felt in your body.

"Have you got some medicine?" he inquired and you nodded, telling him it was in your washbag in the bathroom. He found the medicine the doctor had prescribed you and got you some water so you could take it.

"Can I get you some breakfast?" he asked and you groaned at the thought of food. Nausea from the morning sickness and the fact you had lost your appetite made food sound very unappealing.

"Love you need to eat something. For the baby," he urged you and you knew he was right. The baby needed sustenance, so you needed to eat.

"Nothing too heavy," you conceded and he nodded. He tucked you back into bed, pressing a kiss to your forehead and promised he'd be back soon and went off in search of some breakfast. When he returned with a range of items, he found you asleep, snoring slightly as your body tried to fight off your illness. He smiled softly, glad you were getting some much-needed rest, before settling himself in the adjoining room, which had a sofa and table in it and started eating some breakfast he had acquired for himself.

You slept for most of the morning, until about 11am, when Harry woke you up, quietly telling you that he was needed in about an hour at the venue to rehearse. Your heart swelled when you saw what he had got you for breakfast. He had bought you a range of options as he had apparently gone to Sarah to ask her what he should get you to make sure he got it right. He had bought you some yoghurt and bananas as well as different types of cereal so you could choose the one you wanted. He had also got you some ginger tea because he had read somewhere that ginger helped with morning sickness. You felt so lucky at that moment to have such a caring and sweet husband who would do anything for you.

You slowly ate breakfast, to try and keep everything down and the ginger tea really did help. Harry helped you shower and get ready for the day before packing a bag for you full of blankets, your medicine, some water and things to get you through the day. You set off for the venue around 12, you slumped against Harry in the car while he rubbed your back, pressing small gentle kisses all over your face. When you arrived, Harry found two couches in the dressing room which he pushed together to make a bed for you. He covered it in blankets and cushions and helped you get settled. As sick as you were you wanted to smother him with love for what he was doing for you. You were so thankful.

Eventually, he had to leave to go to rehearsals but it took a lot of convincing on your part to get him to leave you. Jeff basically had to drag him away and he looked very grumpy as he sulked off towards the stage. You settled down and began to drift off again, the distant sound of Harry's voice calming you down as you listened to him playing.

You rested all afternoon, Harry periodically coming into check on you. Whenever he had a spare moment, he would immediately rush to be by your side, making sure you were getting enough liquids and rest and helping you eat something here and there. As the afternoon turned into the evening, Harry became busier and busier and was finding it hard to get back to you and make sure you were ok. He was getting frustrated with people as they kept pulling him in different places and he was getting snappy. Jeff sighed as he noticed Harry getting irritable, knowing he only needed to see his wife but they were running late already and he couldn't really pull him away yet. Selfishly, Jeff needed Harry to stay where he was so he could make sure everything went to plan.

You remained unaware of this, as you were snoozing away in the dressing room, listening to a podcast on your phone, your hand absentmindedly rubbing your belly. You had started doing it when you got pregnant and it always relaxed you now. Harry was always rubbing it as well as if he was in awe that a tiny person was growing inside you. You could tell he was already going to be an amazing father, especially after how he treated you today.

You slept right through into the evening, your body craving rest as it fought off the illness, but it did mean you had slept right through dinner and Harry hadn't been there to make sure you'd eaten. Therefore you woke up at around 8:30, half an hour before Harry was due to go on stage, feeling groggy and weak due to the lack of food. You groaned as you stretched out your muscles, mumbling out Harry's name but soon realised he wasn't there. No one was, the dressing room was completely empty. You sighed slightly as you realised you would have to get up to find some food, but you knew you had to eat so you pushed your sore body off the couch and shuffled to the door. You wandered through the corridors slowly, trying not to move too fast to aggravate your already sore head. You began to get frustrated as you failed to find any food or someone you could ask to get you something as everyone was running about looking very busy. Not wanting to cause a fuss, you sadly began making your way back to the dressing room. Halfway back, you heard someone yell out your name and turned around to see Harry running towards you, a concerned look plastered on his face.

"Baby, what are you doing out here?" he asked as he pulled you into his arms.

"Just trying to get some dinner," you muttered pulling back from Harry who frowned.

"You haven't eaten?" You shook your head in response and he swore under his breath. "I fucking told Jeff to get you some food like an hour ago, are you shitting me?!"

"Harry it's ok, don't worry, I'll find some food," you insisted but he was too angry now.

"No, you should be getting some rest not wandering around trying to get food! I want you to be better love and Jeff should have bought you something. He knows you're pregnant as well," Harry continued, clenching his fists as he looked around trying to find Jeff so he could chew him out.

"Harry please, I don't want to cause any trouble," you tried again.

"Love, you really arent so please stop saying that. You're ill and you're carrying m'baby in there and I need to make sure you're ok and fed and that the little bubba is too," he said firmly and your gaze softened because you knew he was just getting angry because he was worried about the baby. You stood on your tiptoes and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and cupped his cheek with your hand.

"I love you H. And I love that you care so much about me. About us," you began as you cupped your stomach. "But right now, you've got a show to put on and I want you to go out there and give it your all. I will be ok and I will find some food and after the show, we can go home right away and you can look after me as much as you want, yeah," you proposed and his demeanour softened, the anger fading from his eyes. He nodded slowly, pulling you into his arms as you swayed back and forth. Eventually, he pulled back and pressed another kiss to your lips.

"I love you. So much," he professed and you smiled into the kiss, feeling overwhelmingly in love with the man that stood before you.

"I love you too. Sorry I can't watch the show," you apologised and he shook his head.

"Don't apologise. Just need you to get better for me love," he told you.

He pulled away slowly, and begun to walk you back to your dressing room. You pretended like you couldn't see him angrily texting Jeff to get you some food. You could see him violently typing in the corner of your eye and you rolled your eyes at your husband's antics. He got you settled back onto the sofa and glared at Jeff as he sheepishly arrived with food for you. You sent Jeff an apologetic look which didn't get missed by Harry.

"Doesn't deserve your apology," he mumbled into your skin as he was sitting underneath you, with you curled up on his lap and his face pressed into your neck. You rolled your eyes as you tentatively spooned soup into your mouth and chewed on some bread.

"H, you need to go," you pushed as he continued to cling onto you, his arms wrapped around your waist under your jumper, softly holding your belly with his large hands.

"Don't wanna."

"Harry," you warned and he huffed as he let you go and you clambered off him so he could move.

"Stay here love and get some rest. I'll be back before you know it," he said before kneeling down in front of you to kiss your belly, lifting the jumper you were wearing so a sliver of your skin was exposed.

"Be nice for Mum," he muttered as he pressed a kiss to your skin and you gazed down adoringly at him. You couldn't wait to have this baby with him, it was like he was destined to be a dad. He stood up and gave you a quick kiss.

"Eat all your soup love," he reminded you as you sat back down on the sofa, smiling as he grabbed a blanket and pulled it over you.

"You got this," you encouraged as he turned towards the door.

"Always love," he replied grinning as he left and you snuggled back down onto the sofa, enjoying your soup. You smiled as you heard the roar of the crowd, always so proud of your husband whenever you saw how many people would turn up just to see him play. He deserved every success in your eyes.

Harry returned an hour later. After making his way off stage, a couple of people tried to pull him in different directions but he was insistent on getting back to his wife. Jeff, having learnt his lesson, helped Harry get away from them and therefore all was forgiven between the two of them.

"I think Y/N's seeing the doctor right now," Jeff mentioned and Harry whirled his head around.

"Is she ok?! Is the baby ok?!" he rushed out but before Jeff had time to say yes, it was just a routine check-up, Harry was already sprinting down the corridor towards the dressing room. Jeff shook his head at Harry but he was happy to finally see the man so in love.

Your eyes grew wide as Harry crashed through the door of the dressing room where you were lying on the couch as the doctor listened to the baby's heartbeat.

"Is everything ok?" he asked urgently as he ran his hands through his hair in stress. You chuckled.

"Everything is fine H, he's just giving me a check-up," you explained as Harry sighed in relief, coming over to your side where he knelt down beside you, holding your hand. He watched as the doctor felt your stomach and checked your general health and relaxed when the doctor said he was happy with how things were progressing and that your bout of illness hadn't impacted the baby in any way. He also said you were improving generally and a couple more days of rest and you would be much better.

"Any questions?" the doctor said as he began to pack away his stuff and you sighed. Whenever any doctor asked Harry if he had any questions regarding you and your baby, he usually had about 100. You gave the doctor an apologetic look as he began to answer all of Harry's questions as unsurprisingly he had a lot. Eventually, you managed to pull Harry away and the doctor looked a bit relieved as he exited the room. You chuckled seeing Harry looking all grumpy because somehow he still had more questions.

"Babe, you can google it later or find the answer in one of those books you have," you told him, pulling off his top so he could get changed back into his normal clothes. He turned bright red at the mention of the books. He thought you hadn't noticed, but the day after you told him you were pregnant, he had bought every single book on pregnancy that he could find. You had found them stashed in his tote bag a few nights ago and you found it really sweet.

"What books?" he pretended as he grabbed his jumper that you were holding and pulled it over to his bed. You giggled as he hid his face in the hood, pulling the strings tight so only his nose was visible in the little gap. You pressed a soft kiss to it and he began to loosen the strings.

"It's cute babe," you reassured him and he shrugged, a bit embarrassed he'd been caught. Harry finished getting dressed and he made sure you were all ready to go. He looped an arm around your shoulders as he guided you out of the venue and towards the car.

Once you got back to the hotel, Harry sat you on the counter as he readied a bath for you. You were already beginning to feel a lot better, the day of rest having done wonders for you. You knew it was going to mean you would be behind on work but you didn't really care. You needed rest and seeing as your husband was technically your boss, as you worked alongside Jeff in organising Harry's tours, you thought you could probably get away with it. You watched him as he went about making sure the water temperature was right and your heart melted. He was so sweet to you.

He carefully undressed you and placed you in the bath before settling in behind you. He carefully washed you, massaging your shoulders and your head as he did. It felt incredible.

"M'so lucky to have you," you mumbled sleepily and he pressed a kiss to your head.

"You are everything to me," he responded lovingly as he got out of the bath from behind you and helped you out, still whispering the sweetest things in your ear. You both got ready for bed, settling down in the cool sheets. Harry had pushed up your top, so it was just resting beneath your chest and he was pressing slow, loving kisses to your stomach. Your eyes fluttered closed at the sensation.

"Sing to us?" you asked quietly. Harry had gotten into the habit of singing to you and the baby since you got pregnant. You had joked that the baby was going to come out already knowing all the lyrics to his songs, but you loved it when he did sing. You never would get tired of hearing your husband sing.

"Course love," he complied as he began to sing the opening verse of As It Was. He sang it slowly and much calmer than he usually would. You could feel yourself drifting off to the sound of his deep voice, his breath hot against the skin of your stomach.

'in this world, it's just us' he sang and you smiled softly. That was your favourite line of the song because it was true. Despite the chaos of it all, despite the millions of fans, the hundreds of shows and everything that came along with it, as long as you just had Harry and your baby it would be fine.

It was just the three of you, and that's all that mattered.

-

little one shot while i work on pt.2 of the flatshare in london, which is coming along nicely but is very time consuming and i was away at the weekend so i couldn't really write anything. sorry :(

sloane xx

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