#Just In Case i ever end up needing to use it for like. home invasion self defense or smth

[golbrocklovely]

smile for me // sam golbach

A/N: i'm not sure why, but while i was writing this, i felt the need to leave everything lower case. i usually don't like writings that are like this but idk lol i kinda like it. this was a lot of fun to write, along with the one i wrote for colby. not the same story, but it’s similar in one way that you’ll see ;) hope you enjoy ! let me know what you think.

prompt: a stalker has made it its mission to leave you unsettled in your own home. everyone is looking out for you, your fans, your security team, and even the paparazzi. || famous!reader x paparazzi!sam

trigger warning: stalking, home invasion, cursing, creepy stalker, surprise ending, angst

word count: 1805

~~~~~~~~

your face was everywhere: magazines, tv, movies, instagram, twitter, tiktok. you were being talked about daily. every move you made was followed by paparazzi. you couldn't even get a drink at starbucks without stopping for a mini meet and greet. everyone knew about you.

especially sam.

sam didn't love being a paparazzi. times were changing, and celebrities didn't really need to be photographed by random strangers to gain popularity anymore. hell, most times paparazzi would get tipped off by the celebs themselves by their posts on instagram or snapchat. and you in particular... you marked your every move. and sam followed it.

over the few years of your celebrity status, you had come to know the faces that would follow you around the most. sam was one of them. he was the nicest out of all the paparazzi. never yelled at you, never asked invasive questions. he would just ask for you to smile for him, and then he would be on his way.

you knew every day you were out, you would see him. and weirdly, it made you happy. it was a nice common occurrence you could count on in your ever-changing daily routine.

one morning when you woke up, something felt very off. the air around you was colder than usually, like someone left a window open. as you stepped out of bed, you felt something plastic underneath your foot. you looked down and found a polaroid. you picked it up, turned it over, gasping loudly at the image.

it was of you. sleeping. from last night.

you immediately called your security team and they checked out the house. that night cameras were installed all over your property, something you had been meaning to do for the longest time. your security team was on high alert for the next few days, and so were you. it was hard to go to sleep knowing someone could sneak into your house and photograph you. but at least with the cameras up and running, you felt a little bit safer.

a couple days later, you saw sam. he told you he heard the news about the break in and understood if you didn't want to be photographed. but you smiled for his picture nonetheless, and then decided to ask him a question.

"i know this might be weird, but do you know of any paparazzi that use polaroid cameras?"

sam squinted at you. "it wouldn't make sense to use that type of camera, especially for everyday use like us. but i can ask around. maybe see if any of the new guys are a bit on the weirder side of things and would do something like that."

you nodded, "thank you. that would mean so much to me."

you felt safe that night and went to sleep peacefully. but in the morning, you woke up to another polaroid of you sleeping. but not just one, multiple. and throughout your house. in your bathroom, in your kitchen, all the way leading up to the front door.

you checked the cameras, knowing this stalker would have to be on there.... but nothing showed up. not a single blip of a person appeared in the hours of footage. how is that even possible? it's not like a ghost was taking photos of you! your security team figured that someone hacked the cameras and deleted the footage. there wasn't much your team could do. they tried to make your cameras less hackable, in case there was another attempt at a break in.

you barely slept the next week. this time security was outside your bedroom the whole night. there was no way someone could break in and take a picture of you asleep.

things grew quiet for a couple months. the press and the general media felt bad for you and were disgusted by this apparent stalker. the police were involved too, making sure to drive by your neighborhood often. you felt safe, but only by a little.

even sam started checking in on you every so often. it was nice to know you had someone looking out for you that you weren't paying to, even if it was some random paparazzi.

but every time you let your guard down, that's when it would strike.

you weren't sure how it happened, but this time you woke up when it came in. you heard your bedroom door close. you were confused at first, thinking maybe it was someone on your security team peaking in to check on you. but a quiet click of the lock startled you fully awake. you tried to remain calm, knowing any sudden movements would give you away. you weren't sure what to do. you prayed that maybe this was just some weird nightmare, but you soon realized how real it was.

the stalker approached your bed, making sure to face you. you could feel its presence by your bedside, the light from outside growing dark from the looming figure. a hand gently brushed hair out of your face, and it took every nerve in your body not to scream.

"smile for me, baby." the stalker whispered, then suddenly there was a flash.

it took a picture of you.

you heard the whirling of the camera, the image sliding out and dropping to the floor. you wanted to turn your head away from the stalker, get some distance between the two of you, but before you could even think that, you felt the bed dip. it climbed on top of you, but never touched you. you could feel it's breath fan across your face as it got close to you. you held your breath, your heart banging out of your chest. you breathed out hard, and all was still.

suddenly hands wrapped around your throat, squeezing it close. you jolt your eyes open, finally looking at your stalker. the face was covered by a mask, but from the grip alone you could tell it was a man. you tried to scream out, but only a gurgled cough escaped. you gripped his wrists, trying to pry them off, but it did no good. your vision began to grow black, the edges blurring. you were going pass out if you didn't fight harder!

you glanced over at the glass of water that sat on your nightstand. hastily you reached over and grabbed it, smashing it into the back of the guy’s head. he groaned loudly, falling off you and onto the floor. you coughed, trying to breathe, and scrambled off your bed, racing to the door. he was already up before you could reach it to unlock it, so you ran into your bathroom, letting out a weak scream. you locked it tightly, tears pouring down your face.

he rushed up to the door, slamming his body weight into it multiple times. he jiggled the handle over and over. your body fell to the floor, your chest heaving with sobs.

"smile for me, y/n! SMILE FOR ME!" he screeched demonically.

you screamed out. "no!! leave me alone!"

he cackled, still banging on the door repeatedly. "keep screaming, y/n! they're all watching you! they want to hear you. scream louder! smile!"

you covered your ears and wailed, letting out the loudest scream you could. by the time you stopped your voice was sore, your face soaked with tears. the banging had stopped, but you could hear the rush of footsteps coming up to your room.

"y/n?! are you alright?! open the door!" you could hear it was your security team, but you couldn't move, your body locked into place.

they were able to break down your bedroom door, and finally get you out of your bathroom.

the next month or two was a blur. you moved out of that house, and planned to move out of the state for that matter. you issued a statement about the stalker, telling your fans you were going on hiatus until you felt safe again. you considered going into hiding, but only decided to do so when you found out the footage from that night got leaked online. you watched in horror as the events you experienced played out for all to see. you didn't even realize he had a camera on him when he was trying to kill you. maybe you were so blindly trying to survive you didn't pay attention to that.

the only positive was that the audio had been corrupted when it was posted. no one could actually hear you pleading for your life. the police searched for who posted it, but every lead got them nowhere closer to who could have done this.

you flew to vegas that night, hiding yourself in some random townhouse for a couple months. your security team was with you at all times. you didn't go online ever. you took time off, painted, wrote a lot, talked to your family back home. just... anything to keep yourself preoccupied.

you eventually decided that you wanted a change of scenery, that vegas had lost its charm. you figured about going out to new york for a while. the day before you were planning to move, you went for a drive with your bodyguard. you decided to stop at a 7/11 to get some food. you told your bodyguard to wait in the car, only running in to get a slurpee and some nachos. as you walked up and down the aisles, you heard a familiar voice behind you. "y/n?"

you turned around and gasped. you walked up, smiling, and gave him a sweet hug. "oh my god, sam! it is so nice to see you! what are you doing out here?"

"oh, i'm in town for a job. there's a big event happening at one of the major hotels on the strip. lots of celebs to capture," he joked, wiggling his camera from side to side. "what about you?"

"just... hiding out. i'm actually gonna leave town for a while. probably go out east, go see some family." you stated.

he nodded. "that sounds like a good plan. i'm so sorry... about everything."

"it's okay. i'm just trying to put it all behind me." you hummed.

"of course, of course. i won't ask for a picture. i know you need your privacy." sam confirmed.

"hey, you know what? you have always been the nicest paparazzi to me. and i know the tabloids are just dying to see a picture of me out and about. so, if you want..." you offered.

sam gaped. "are you sure? i don't want to make you feel-"

"no, you're totally fine. you were there for me when i needed you. i appreciate you. so... go ahead. just make sure to get my good side." you giggled, posing for a second.

"alright," sam laughed, lining up the shot. "smile for me."

#sam golbach #sam golbach x reader #sam golbach fanfic #sam golbach fanfiction #sam golbach fic #sam golbach story #sam golbach oneshot #sam golbach one shot #golbrocklovely's 13 nights of halloween #sam golbach angst

[chickenfics]

Security Blanket

Relationship: Loki x GN!reader (SFW)

Summary: The reader can’t sleep thanks to a true crime podcast. In their anxiety, they seek out comfort from a certain God of Mischief

Word count: 2.2k

Content warning: Okay, so, this isn't a heavy fic by any means, but it does contain discussions around true crime, murder, and what could maybe be considered home invasion. If that will make you uncomfortable in any way, I would suggest maybe skipping this one. Instead, I can offer you The Best Medicine which is a similar story, but without the murder bits

Masterlist   Also on ao3

You wrung your hands together, groaning softly before dragging them over your face. It was nearing midnight. You’d tucked into bed hours ago, and still sleep hadn’t come. Though, whose fault was that?

Yours. It was definitely yours.

When would you learn to stop listening to true crime podcasts before bed? Or reading scary stories that you were ‘sure you could handle’ because ‘they’re not that scary.’ When would you learn that your anxiety would use any excuse it could get -- even if the chances of you being abducted and murdered by a serial killer was one in several thousand?

When would you learn your lesson? Not tonight, apparently.

Because you had done just that, and now it was five past twelve and you were still awake, had checked that your window was locked three separate times, and was wondering how easy it would be for someone to break into the compound.

It was ridiculous, really. Thanks to Tony, the building you were fortunate enough to call home was probably the safest place you could ever be -- especially considering who your neighbors were. You suspected that if a murderer even did manage to infiltrate Stark’s million-dollar security system, the likelihood of them getting past two super soldiers, men with fancy suits, an assassin, and a few supernatural beings was… pretty damn slim.

So why did you feel so afraid?

Your heart was racing in your chest, and you could feel the edges of your body floating away from you, out into the darkness of your room as you tried to listen for the smallest of sounds. But of course anticipating them made your blood run cold at things you weren’t even sure you'd heard.

Throwing your head back into your pillow with exhausted annoyance, you groaned again. You weren’t going to get any sleep at this rate. You’d be lucky if you didn’t wind up having an anxiety attack. Really, when would you learn? No true crime cases after dinner.

Feeling tears of frustration prick against your eyes, you dragged yourself to your feet. Were you really going to do this?

“Whenever you need me, darling,” the voice echoed in your head. “You know where to look.”

A feeling of dread settled in the pit of your stomach. Dread and guilt. But you could also feel your nerves fraying at the edges, and he had said whenever you needed him. If he’d actually meant it, well… you were about to find out.

Grabbing the blanket from off of your bed, you wrapped it snugly around your head and shoulders, pulling it closed just beneath your chin. You felt ridiculous but couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were too exhausted for that.

Slinking up to your door, you cautiously clicked it open. The hallway stretched on either side of your room, dark and looming like a gaping mouth. You felt your heartbeat flutter and swallowed hard.

Stepping out into the abyss -- really just the hallway -- you tugged your blanket closer and turned left, making a hasty beeline for the room four doors away, sending endless thanks out into the universe that he was close. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you had to venture to the whole other end of the compound.

But you didn’t have to wonder because soon enough you were standing outside his door. You would have turned around and left, giving in to that feeling of guilt at the very thought of waking him up, but your brain was pulsing with anxiety. At this point you weren’t even sure what you were worried about, you’d gotten so ahead of yourself.

So, taking a deep, trembling breath, you knocked twice. It sounded so loud in the silence of the night that it nearly made you jump.

When the door abruptly opened, you did jump.

“Oh dear,” Loki mumbled, tilting his head as he took in the state of you. His hair was ruffled, curls furling out in a bedhead so beautiful it was practically a crime. He had obviously been sleeping, and that guilt inside you grew.

“I am so sorry.”

Loki simply raised an eyebrow, stepping aside and swinging the door open further to let you in. You hesitated for only a moment before entering. Almost instantly the dread that had been gripping you in a chokehold all but drained away, allowing you to breathe again.

“Did Wilson talk you into another horror movie? I told him to stop doing that.”

You shook your head, and he swung the door shut.

“True crime podcast,” you managed, your voice only trembling a little. “This guy would break into people's houses while they were away and then hide in their attics so he could murder them in their sleep, or whatever.”

Loki pulled a face, something between a wince and a look of disgust.

“That’s…. distasteful.”

“Yeah.”

You stood there in silence, then, and shifted from one foot to the other.

“What if they didn’t have an attic?” Loki suddenly asked.

“What?”

“The people whose houses he broke into. What if they didn’t have an attic?”

“I… don’t know,” you muttered, then gave a hoarse, wobbly laugh. God, you were so tired. You rubbed your forehead, staring at the ground.

“It’s really got you, hasn’t it?” Loki seemed to realize, and when you nodded, eyes still glued shamefully to the ground, his demeanor shifted in an instant.

“Alright, it’s alright,” he murmured, stepping closer to you.

Your arms were crossed tightly around yourself. Loki held out a slender, pale hand. After a moment, you accepted it, laying your own hand against his soft palm.

“It honestly didn’t freak me out, but then my anxiety started acting up and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and…” you took a shuddering breath and tried not to burst into tears.

“Alright, you’re alright,” Loki softly assured, rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand. Then, a bit awkwardly he asked, “Is… this one of those times I should offer you a hug? I never can tell…”

You thought for a beat, then nodded. You still hadn’t lifted your eyes from the floor, and Loki hooked a finger beneath your chin, gently lifting your face until you were staring into his ocean-green eyes. They were unusually soft in that way they always got when you were together.

Giving you a quick smile and a reassuring wink, he pulled you into his chest, tugging you close and leaning over you like he wanted to swallow you whole. Like he wanted to keep you safe from the whole world.

“I don’t think you need to worry, love,” he eventually spoke up. “After all, we haven’t got an attic.”

At that, you burst out laughing, the sound of it muffled against his shirt. You felt his chuckle against your skin as it rumbled through his chest, and his hand slid up between your shoulder blades.

“And anyhow,” he continued. “Even if an intruder did manage to make their way into this miserable fortress Stark has created, they would be dead before they even had a chance to lay a finger on you. I’d make sure of it.”

You inhaled deeply through your nose, filling your lungs with Loki’s familiar scent. One of peppermint and pine, and that lavender shampoo he claimed he didn't use.

“I know,” you whispered into his shirt. “My brain’s just being dumb--”

“Uh-uh, absolutely not. That beautiful brain of yours is not dumb,” he firmly insisted. “Though, perhaps you should rethink your pre-bedtime entertainment.”

He had you laughing again, and you wrapped your arms tighter around him for it.

“Thank you, Loki. And I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Never apologize, my darling,” he rubbed another hand up your back.

“Can I… can I stay here, tonight?” You sheepishly asked, voice sounding small. You really didn't want to be alone right now, with your mind running rampant and creating monsters out of shadows and creaks.

“As if I’d allow you to leave,” Loki scoffed, grabbing your legs and hoisting you into his arms, blanket and all. “There might be a murder in our attic, I can’t let you wander the compound unprotected.”

“Loki,” you groaned as he carried you towards the bed. But his teasing didn’t make you more anxious like it might have -- like it would have if it was anyone else -- because you knew that he really did mean to protect you. And, as silly as that was, it made you feel better.

He tossed you gently onto the bed. Grabbing your blanket, he wrapped it firmly around you until he’d effectively cocooned you inside it.

“There,” he announced, tapping your nose. “My precious little mortal.”

You huffed, rolling your eyes, but you couldn’t have denied the grin that spread across your face. A grin that only widened as he crawled in next to you, pulling his own blanket over the both of you. You didn’t miss how he’d put you next to the wall -- how he’d positioned himself between you and the door.

“Rest assured, love, no one will harm you tonight.”

You groaned again, more out of embarrassment than anything, and buried your face in your blanket burrito.

“No,” you peeped, agreeing. “Not when there’s a very strong, very dashing god here to protect me from any serial murderers…”

Maybe it was because you were hiding your face already. Maybe it was because you were so tired, or half-giddy with relief now that the adrenaline had fled your body. Maybe that was why your tongue had gone loose and you’d let yourself gush about how amazing Loki was.

But when you peeked out to find him blushing furiously, his usually pale skin tinged pink at the ears, you realized that Loki needed to hear it. Wiggling yourself sideways, you looked adamantly at him, determined to make him listen. You waited until he looked at you with a mix of dread and annoyance before continuing.

“Thank you for looking after me. You’re the best there ever was.”

“Stop it,” Loki insisted, glancing sideways before reluctantly meeting your eye again.

“I mean it.”

“You’re delusional with fright.”

“No,” you insisted, and you would have smacked his arm had you not been burritoed up. “You’re lovely and strong and amazing -- my hero.”

Now it was Loki’s turn to groan, but you could see his jaw twitch as he fought a smile.

“You live in a building full of actual heroes, and yet you come to me when you're afraid. You know I’ve surely killed more people than that man who hides in attics?”

He wasn’t trying to scare you, you could tell. It was more of a friendly -- and very confused -- warning. That was fine, you could understand for the both of you.

“I already told you, Loki, I come to you because you look after me. And I’m fully aware of your past, thank you very much. Nothing will change the way that  I feel safe with you.”

Loki stilled, eyebrows knitting together ever so slightly as he sought for something in your face. You could see the conflict behind his eyes -- he probably wanted to tell you how foolish that was, how you shouldn’t feel safe with a monster like him, but yet, he didn’t.

“Besides,” you continued, hating the way he looked so… broken. “You never lurked in anybody’s attics waiting to brutally murder them in their sleep.”

It did the trick and Loki laughed, short and breathy.

“No,” he tilted his head. “No, I suppose I didn’t. That’s too… slimy -- even for me.”

You smiled, feeling your eyelids grow heavy. When you let out a content sigh, Loki looked at you with eyes full of tenderness. Hesitantly, he reached out and began to fiddle with the edge of your blanket.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes,” you blushed, snuggling further into your cocoon.

“Good. I hate to see you so tense.”

“Awwe,” you sighed, scrunching your nose at him.

He rolled his eyes and covered your face with his hand, but you could hear him laughing softly.

Once you'd fallen still again, he very slowly removed his hand. Peering back up at him, your breath caught as he traced a finger along your cheekbone before hovering just above your skin.

It was a bit of a struggle, and required a fair amount of squirming, but you managed to wrangle your hand out of the blanket. Lifting it halfway, you let the tip of your finger brush his. He froze, his hand stilling, and you couldn’t stop yourself. Your touch trailed down to his knuckle, and your middle finger lightly grazed his pinky.

He scoffed like he couldn’t believe what you were doing, and definitely couldn’t understand why. Furrowing his brows, he reached forward and softly poked your cheek, letting his fingertips rest against your jaw for only a moment before pulling away.

“You baffle me sometimes, you know that?” he whispered. “But… I’m glad you came.”

Your face split into a grin, and you had just opened your mouth when Loki interrupted you.

“Ah-ah, don’t say anything,” he waved his finger through the air like he might press it to your lips. “Just… sleep, alright? You can continue baffling me in the morning.”

You snorted, tracing a line down his wrist as you dropped your hand onto the bed.

“Alright fine.”

As if on cue, you yawned loudly. Loki chuckled, tugging the blanket tighter around you. There was no possibility of escape now.

You’d never slept so well in your life.

And though there were no serial killers hiding in the compound's nonexistent attic, Loki still wrapped his arm protectively around your waist.

Just in case, he told himself.

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x gn!reader #loki and reader #loki and you #loki fluff #loki comfort #loki fanfic #loki #loki laufeyson #ao3 link #AO3 fanfic

[jmrothwell]

Okay but the generator gave me Alien Invasion AU and Imprinting AU and now I need it, for any pairing

Ok but like. . .

So in trying to be all which type of imprinting my brain went all “why not more than one?” 

Reggie, Alex, Luke, are part of the Alien Invasion, but like, really early first wave. See, the Alien species has been studying earth for a while and have noticed the human trend to adopt other species and have decided to use that to their advantage. 

What the Aliens don’t expect is for some of their first wave to be too young and form pack bond/familialy imprint on some of the species they first encounter. 

Which in the case of Reggie, Alex, and Luke is Julie. (Though over the course of the story Reggie and Luke would both question their bond with Julie. Reggie especially after he develops a second familial imprint on Ray and none of them have heard that happening before-though to be fair to them most of their education regarding their Alien culture was limited, they were in a sort of hypersleep for most of their lives/the journey to Earth. Plus, no one knew how that particular part of their physiology would interact with Humans and their pack bond tendency)

This leaders of this first wave decide on their own to sort of forgo the original plans and to just integrate with life on Earth. 

So all of Earth is dealing with how to do that exactly, many still advocating to eliminate the Aliens, others are very interested in learning about the advanced technology, others don’t want to risk incurring an alien species wrath. There’s a lot of background political drama.

Meanwhile, Ray decides to go ahead an open up his home to Reggie, Luke, and Alex. Carlos is ecstatic, Flynn is suspicious but can definitely see how the three are helping the Molina’s. 

Julie is just frustrated. She did not ever in her life expect to be treated like a mother duck, with three Aliens following around her like ducklings…or maybe they’re closer to a pack of puppies or energetic kittens. She feels a bit of guilty relief when Reggie eventually switches to following her dad around, eager to learn all about life on earth from him. 

The relief is heavily outweighed by Luke(and to some extent Reggie) acting weird around her in ways that Alex doesn’t. She’d almost think they were sometimes jealous if she didn’t know better. (She’s also wrong but that revelation doesn’t happen til later)

Things get more complicated when a second wave of Aliens shows up a few months after the first. This one follows a similar pattern to the first wave, however with a touch more hesitancy. They haven’t formed the same bonds and still recall the overall end goal was complete takeover of the planet.

This is around the time Alex runs into Willie, who as it turns out was actually apart of some of the last of the investigative research/preparation teams. He arrived a few weeks before the first wave did. 

Two important revelations occur with the introduction of Willie. First, Alex and Willie imprint on more of a mate level and Alex, after getting over that joyous shock, realizes that’s how Luke and Reggie imprinted with Julie. They’re all just too young/dumb to have noticed/realized sooner. 

Secondly, Caleb is part of the second wave. Willie used to work with/for him and knows Caleb is a major advocate for the world domination thing and was old enough to not have formed any of the bonds/imprints as others. There are also more older aliens who are very likely to rally around Caleb in this second wave. 

That’s as far as I have gotten plot wise…but I also love the idea that Trevor was among an earlier alien research party and just refused to leave, which then makes Carrie half Alien and adds a whole other level of drama when that comes to light.

#No snippet for this one XD #Writing game #AUs are awesome #ok so like I had never HEARD of an imprinting AU and when I tried to google it only one actual fic showed up #Otherwise it was just different articles and science definitions

[magnuficent76]

REALLY COOL ASK GAME DUDE HERE'S. 11 AND 2 for Archer!! And 55 + 56 for Maria :) (Mary)

UEEHEHEHEEEEE HIIII ELVISSSS <233 !!! AND LETS GET IT !

[-> Archer ]

[ 2 -> How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’? ]

In his younger years, Archer probably would've described a friend as someone who doesn't shoot at you without good reason. Anyone who is willing to watch your back if you're willing to warch theirs, and will make sure your body goes back home if its ever found cold. In that case, he had plenty of friends back in Pandora: Salt, Radha, Jonah, so many others... all of them there for him whenever he needed them. They were a team, maybe not as professionally as Archer acted like it was.

...Nowadays, by that definition, he does not have quite as many. People in Maliwan aren't there to make friends, they're there to meet quota. If the quota requires stabbing someone in the back for a leg up, then that's the way to go. The closest people he has in the corporation are probably assistants like Ferris and *maybe* Hansuke. But he's...complicated. so maybe not.

[ 11 -> If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference? ]

Archer is way too specific for anyone who knows him to fall for an imposter. They'd ask him about his night-time routine and all the individual steps in which he falls asleep and the doppelganger would simply fold. No matter how well you think you're copying him, there's always some part you're missing out on due to how deeply, horribly detailed this man is. Even in a company like Maliwan his quirks stand out, and that's saying something... though, I'm sure that if they were to replace him as an employee, it wouldn't be noticed. Or rather, it would, but no one would truly care for the loss.

[-> Maria/Mary ]

[ 55 -> What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate? ]

Maria always thought she'd enjoy being a seamstress— after all the reshaping and mending clothes in her old clan, it only felt natural that she'd take to sewing and weaving... she did not. It was horrible on the hands, making them cramp wih all the repetitive motions, which made it hard for her proper profession (farming) to be enjoyable when all you can think about is "my hand has muscles I never knew about hurting. Badly". Plus, it just never scratched the itch she hoped it would in her ventures into it. Plushies were fun to have, yeah, but making them is a whole different beast and she ended up only ever grateful that it was over by the end of it. At least the boys had toys growing up :]

[ 56 -> If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear? ]

The person Mary feels safest* when it comes down to it is, ironically, Lucio. Lucio, who in his violent nature and generally hateful demeanor, was never around meaningfully and always made her doubt if she made the right choice, would still protect her with his life and more if she told him she was afraid. He wasn't good with emotional dingadings, but what he was was very strong, and maybe that was enough for when the paranoia for invasions and other such woes might've crossed Mary's mind. And for that much she was thankful for... but otherwise ? When the fear was not being good enough, not having what it takes to keep going ? He was useless pretty much.

So that's why the two other people she trusts most are her own sons. They are very tightly knit, and have connections Maria is sure would transcend lifetimes, so of course she feels her least afraid whenever they're around. The boys were there for her whenever she would cry– they'd guard her bed every night whenever she was sick to make sure everything was alright, go out of their way to make sure any of her fears were dealt with, and if they couldn't do that, they'd come up with a different solution. Maria was all they had in terms of (positive) rolemodels, so of course they would do their damnest to appease her, but it was all a duty of love too. Love that she carried with her when they couldn't be around, and Love that ached their minds whenever they couldn't give it to her.

#magocs #my oc stuff #oc questions #oc asks #TYSM FOR THE ASK I CARE YOU !! #audience participation #txt #art #fan characters #fancharacters #fan ocs #fanocs #oc art #original character #original characters #my ocs #oc #magwriting

[monards]

so i played symbiosis.

now tell me

1. what do you think happens after the game ends in the basement.

2. what are your headcannon ideas for more endings and/or a ‘true’ one?

3. why exactly is his nickname mint. how is he invasive!! and he isn’t used as a spice either!!! (or is he? a flavouring in magnolia’s sad lonely life)

ommg hihihi!!! I'm so glad you played!!!!! so sorry this is a bit of a late response,, i really had to think about these questions. also very sorry because i actually rambled an insurmountable amount for this,, LMAO. ok brace yourself, hereee we go (adding the keep reading thing because i dont need to be flooding innocent people's home page with this.)

// Honestly,, I dont have a like, huge idea of what happened after that ending (mostly because of the lack of context around a lot of the stuff, and boy do i need context to function!!!) but I think there's a lot of ways the ending in the basement could've technically gone after the cut off depending on how you interpret Mint at that point. We know Mint was always aware of what Magnolia did, as he mentions in his diary entry; but what happened next REALLY depends on how he copes with that as he grew up. Dove obviously got him into school, or some sort of formal education; where he'd then learn about 'right and wrong' which, as far as education systems go; tends to be VERY black and white. Meaning they'd likely respond with full conviction that Magnolia's actions were wrong and completely unjustifiable. So under the situation he had followed and grown into that line of thinking afterwards, there's no doubt he'd probably not have the most happy reaction to seeing Magnolia again,, butttt on the other hand, and what i believe to be the case a LOT more; he grew up being taught that people do what they do for a reason. Magnolia taught him to always do stuff for himself, because more often than not, what's 'right' isn't always the best for you; and it's okay to go against what's commonly known as the 'right thing to do' for that reason!! He'd likely grown aware at some point that most if not everything Magnolia had done while he lived with her, was for him to live. She murdered people because she needed blood to feed him; she hid them deep in the forest because she didn't want to be arrested and risk anything happening to mint, in the case he got into the wrong hands; and OBVIOUSLY it's a bit hard to completely disregard that line of thinking after so many years,, even if that line of thinking may of been a bit altered in him learning about what magnolia had really done to people, and her effect on others. So I could totally believe him just breaking down the moment he saw her again; knowing everything he'd know as of that point He's also, like, the biggest mama's boy i've ever seen in media; so I wouldn't put it past him if, upon seeing Magnolia again, he really did get emotional and just sorta started crying. Because old habits die hard.

// To be completely honest, I think knowing magnolia; both endings worked perfectly well in their own ways!! We know Magnolia really did love Mint, and her different responses to that love is really shown well in both endings :) Ending A obviously shows her wanting to give mint a better future. Just as it's acknowledged in the FAQ, she is a very horrible person; since she's. yknow. a fugitive and mass murderer. But she willingly puts herself at risk of being arrested, and presumably leaves dove who she clearly still loved on some level to likely die after stealing her gun, because she knows that as things were going, she'd never be able to provide Mint the life he deserves. And If anything, Magnolia clearly doesn't want to be as her parents were to her, to Mint. But Ending B is just as good in the regard that it shows the concept of Magnolia not being good for others, and that despite her best efforts; she almost always sours her relationships with those she loves (which is so, so, so great of an idea when you tie it in with 'symbiosis' as the title LMAO) No offense to Magnolia,, but she's like, almost pathetically horrible at conveying her feelings and emotions in any context. She was already blunt and mean in college without much provocation, and she never seemed to show her love for Dove *that* clearly (i mean,, we saw her smile once but that was in their wedding photo. cmon) so Ending B does great at reminding us,, 'hey,, she's still the same no matter what.' At least in this case we know she loves mint, but did mint even know that? By the time he's grown up, he looks just like magnolia did at that age; straight faced, apathetic looking in most cases, and generally not good at conveying anything but negative emotions. And we know for magnolia,, all of that emotion for her was a result of how she grew up (because i REALLY doubt she'd be this cynical and miserable if her parents weren't assholes, no hate) ; so it does so great to show that no matter Magnolia's best efforts, she was really never going to be as good as she wanted to be, because that's just the way she is, that's her effect on others.

// Honestly,, I always just interpreted his name as the sort of tie and relationship between him and Magnolia; and how their connection and effect on each other is far different from her previous one relationship and connect to Dove !!!! Doves, as a whole, are separate from Magnolias (as in the plant species,) because Doves are birds. And that same line of thought carries over to the characters too!!-- Dove had a freedom Magnolia didn't by being able to express herself and show her compassion and emotions without much complication; but though she changed Magnolia in her interactions with her- as we see magnolia was clearly more expressive, and emotionally available with her- she would have never have a permeant effect on her, because anything a bird can manage to do to a Magnolia tree has very temporary effects. (Hence the game's title "symbiosis" ; the interaction and relationship between two organisms !!! ) But Mint is also a 'plant' , (in this context, figuratively and literally ) So in some ways, he's just like Magnolia in that regard, since they're the same 'species' ; in this case being the way they're both 'irregular' and different from those around them. But just like you noted; mint is invasive. The plant itself can permanently alter the area and environment around it and it's generally very hard to get rid, leaving lasting impact. The moment Mint became a part of Magnolia's life, her life was permanently changed. We see she became far more empathetic than before, and her drive for what she did was no longer purely for knowledge, but compassion; and in both endings she so clearly does what she does under the context of her love for him!! And, in the basement ending (Ending B) despite all the time that had passed, she still seems to have those far more 'open' qualities coming about when it comes to him!!; cue her being so much more positively expressive and welcoming upon seeing him, compared to her reunion with dove. so for the most part, that's what i headcanon as the background for his nickname as'mint' !!!! :))

i had soso much fun answering these,, thank you so much kshkshks!!!!!! 💜💜

#ilysm kshkshks this was my greatest opportunity to rant about this game EVER you are soso amazing for this ask #i think symbiosis geniunely has such a beautiful story and concept and it makes me think so much <333 #spicaze did such a wonderful job with it #and im sosososo excited to see where she goes with it !!! #magnolia & dove #magnolia & mint #Magnolia & mint & dove #magnolia #mint #dove #magnolia faragher #symbiosis spicaze #symbiosis #crepe analysis & thoughts #kshkshks tag

[mrvlbimbo]

Play to Win, pt 3

Frank Castle x reader

Masterlist here

A polite and thoughtful home invasion

After the case ended things went back to normal. Well as normal as things could be after the biggest case of their career. In the midst of the trial she had moved offices to be closer to Nelson and Murdock. Her apartment was in Hell’s Kitchen already so it was a shorter commute. 

Despite not working on the same cases, it was beneficial to have like minded people around to bounce ideas off of. She became closer with the three, bonding over their shared profession. 

After the trial Frank was given multiple life sentences but he did manage to avoid the death penalty. From what she had heard, he was in a maximum security prison. She hadn’t taken the time to visit him yet, not knowing what she could possibly say. He had mentioned breaking out in the past but she didn’t think that was an option. 

She hated to imagine how things could be, but she couldn’t help wishing that he would come home one day. Not that he had any home with her, however much she liked to think he would. Whenever she let her mind wander she imagined wandering around New York with him. When she had dinner with Karen and the guys it felt like there was an empty seat. Something inside of her knew he was meant to be in her life and sooner or later she’d have to come to terms with that. 

It wasn’t easy having him locked up, but she felt better knowing he was safe at least. That’s why she was so shocked when she got the news of what had happened. 

She came into work a little late with a coffee for Karen. Matt and Foggy whined about her not having one for them but they shut up when she handed them pastries. “You two don’t need to be any more wired,” she had stated. 

After a brief morning conversation, she retired to her office. Most of the day was paperwork and looking through potential clients. She hadn’t taken any new cases since Frank, not feeling inspired by her work like she used to be. 

At lunch she went back over to the other office. She figured she would sit with Karen and eat her pasta salad with some company after spending all day alone. 

“Have you gone to see him?” she asked, questioning her words as she said them. Frank had been a sort of elephant in the room ever since the case. She thought about him constantly but she was sure she was the only one. 

“No. I’m not going to. Matt says it’s not a good idea,” Karen replied, gritting her teeth. There was clearly something more there than she was saying but she wasn’t going to push for more information. 

“Oh,” she replied, putting an end to the less than lively conversation. 

The TV was quiet in the background as they ate. Things were falling apart at the firm, Matt hadn’t been showing up lately and Foggy was downright pissed. He was there that day at least, pacing around the conference room. He had something on his mind but what else was new? 

He turned the volume on the TV up enough for the rest of the room to hear. At first she was annoyed by the loud intrusion, until she realized what was playing on tv. 

The rest was incoherent mumbling after she heard those dreaded words “prison riot” “Frank Castle” “dead” She was so in shock, the news took a moment to register, but when it finally hit her it hit hard. 

 she held back a sob, reaching for hold on the corner of a table. Her grip was white knuckled as she fought a wave of nausea. “I’m going home,” she shouted before hastily grabbing her things and rushing out of the office.

She was stopped at the door by Matt Murdock. “Hey calm down,” he started, grabbing her wrist gently. 

She twisted her arm out of his grip but he caught the other one easily. The motion shoved her into his chest so he could wrap his arms around her. “Just breathe. I know you’re upset but it’s going to be ok. I need to talk to you about something.” 

“Fuck you. Let. Me. Go.” She said each word separately. Her voice was loud and assertive, not yet shaky from the tears that would inevitably start falling as soon as she was out of the office. 

“Please.” His arms were tight around her and she cursed the way she craved the gentle embrace. After everything that had happened she really needed a good hug. 

“Let me go, Murdock.” Her words were softer this time, losing the will to fight. His hands smoothed over her back, before he reluctantly let go. He knew she was distraught but if she wanted to leave he wasn’t going to keep her there. 

“Call me when you get home,” he added as she left. 

“Fuck you,” she sobbed, no real anger in her voice just pain. He let her walk out the door knowing she likely wouldn't call him. For someone as emotional as her, she never let anyone know what she was feeling. And she certainly didn’t let anyone help. 

Multiple hours later and with thirty missed calls in total from Foggy, Matt, Karen, and the District Attorney, she was alone in her kitchen. Her hands were shaking around a cup of coffee. It was probably 2 or 3 in the morning but she had no interest in sleeping. 

She didn’t hear the footsteps behind her until it was too late. When she felt a hand on her shoulder she flailed her arms wildly, her coffee mug shattering on the floor. Then she was lifted off the ground and shoved against the fridge, a hand cradling the back of her head to protect her skull. Whoever this home intruder was, they were very thoughtful. 

Her eyes were screwed shut as she shook in fear, not bothering to fight back. “Babydoll, it’s just me.” Her eyes snapped open at his voice.

“You’re safe. I’m not gonna hurt you. I need ya to calm down for me.” He wrapped himself impossibly tighter around her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to try and comfort her. 

Once she realized it was him, the pressure of his body against hers and his hands gripping her figure felt like less of an intrusion. “Frank?” she gasped like she was seeing a ghost. In a way she was, less than a minute ago she thought he was dead. Now he was in her apartment very real and very alive and very much squishing her against the hard stainless steel door of her fridge. 

“Yeah sweetheart. I’m here. You’re ok.” As nice as it was to be encased in his arms, she couldn’t ignore the fact that his firm weight against her was cutting off her airflow. 

“Frank,” she repeated, squirming as much as she could when she was bracketed by the two steel walls of muscle that were his arms. 

“Mmm,” he mumbled, not subtle about the way he was soaking in the only human contact he had in months apart from fighting. She had a strange urge to let him stay like that, his entire large heavy body pressed against her. She knew he wouldn't admit it, but it seemed to comfort him. 

“You’re squishing me,” she whined, pushing at his chest weakly. He instantly let go of her, stepping back to give her room. 

“Sorry. Look I know you're scared.” She was shaking but it wasn’t from fear, at least not in that moment. She was jittery from multiple cups of coffee, despite not being a huge fan of caffeine. 

“I’m not,” she replied bluntly, crossing her arms and examining him. He was wearing mostly black but she could tell he had multiple wounds which he was bleeding from. In the dim light of the kitchen she could also make out the faint outline of bruises on his face which would show themselves more severely later. 

“Maybe you should be,” he grumbled. She rolled her eyes at his melodramatic phrasing. 

“You’re so dramatic. Alright let’s get you cleaned up, tough guy,” she offered, still concerned about the bruises and cuts littering his body. 

She led him to the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit from above the sink. When she turned back to him he was sitting on the edge of the tub sans his blood soaked shirt. 

In another circumstance she would take a moment to appreciate his physique because he was a goddamn specimen of a man if she'd ever seen one. Her hands brushed over his chest, getting lost in the sheer state of him. She wondered how he was even alive not to mind walking and talking. She didn’t miss how he flinched as her hands touched a particularly sore spot.  

“Hey sugar. I lost ya for a second. What’s wrong?” He asked softly, grabbing her face and making her look at his eyes instead of the numerous nasty wounds on his torso. 

“You’re hurt. Like really hurt,” she blurted out her eyes darting from his eyes to the bruises on his face quickly as she struggled to comprehend the situation. 

“Yeah I’m a little roughed up. Nothin new,” he assured her, brushing his thumbs over her cheeks. He seemingly forgot his hands were covered in blood, spreading it over her face although neither of them noticed at the time. 

“Frankie,” she sighed, putting her hands over his. She shook her head and stepped away from him. For a second she closed her eyes tight and tried to steady her breathing. He stood back up and his hands fell to her hips, holding her steady so her knees didn’t buckle under the stress.  

“I know, sweetie. I’m sorry to come to you with all this.” He rubbed his thumb on a spot of her hip when her shirt had ridden up. He almost chuckled at the way she sighed and loosened her tense body at the contact. He was no stranger to being touch starved so he didn’t bother to bring attention to it. 

“I’m fine, it’s fine. Just sit down please, let me help you.” He obliged, still reluctant to have her do this when it made her so clearly uncomfortable. It’s not like he had much choice since it seemed like she wasn’t going to let him go without surveying his injuries and taking care of them. Even if the whole process made her a bit queasy. 

Cleaning and bandaging his wounds was a painstaking process. He was more beaten up than she could have imagined. She tried to be as gentle as possible but she could see he was in pain. Her non-dominant hand swept over his shoulders, rubbing tiny circles on his back and arms. It wasn’t going to change the fact she was pouring rubbing alcohol on his open wounds but it was a nice distraction. 

“Are these going to need stitches?” she asked, knowing full well the answer was yes. This wasn’t her first rodeo but in her defense it had been a while. 

So her wave of nausea was appropriate when he replied, “Yep.” He looked down at her apologetically, silently thanking her with a nod of his head. 

Her shaking hands got to work stitching the cuts. He noticed the way she trembled and he grabbed her other hand in his, interlacing their fingers and squeezing tightly. She didn’t mind the interruption, grateful for his grounding presence. “You’re doin so good. This here's the last one.”

When she finished the final stitch she stood up and turned away, lurching toward the sink. After taking a quick look at her profile in the mirror and noticing blood staining her face she almost fell to the floor. She was only held up by the firm hands on her hips. “S’alright. I gotcha.” 

“I’m gonna be sick,” she whined, scrambling over to kneel in front of the toilet. He followed her, sitting behind her with her hair scrunched up in his hand like a makeshift ponytail. 

“Sorry to ask but I need somewhere to stay,” he muttered, it was barely audible but she heard him. 

She shook her head and stared into the toilet bowl. “Can we talk about this later?” 

She didn’t end up throwing up but she didn’t feel the best, finally hobbling back into the kitchen after a few minutes of dry heaving. “Make yourself at home,” she mumbled, flopping down onto the couch and grabbing a pillow. She whisper-screamed into the pillow dramatically. 

“Don’t wanna get blood on your couch,” he replied, opting instead to sit cross legged on the floor next to her. A large orange cat padded over to him and sniffed him curiously. Frank offered his hand hesitantly and the cat bumped his head against it, purring loudly. Then he jumped onto the couch and curled up by his owner's feet.

She reached out and ran the tip of her finger over the bruises on his face. It was light enough not to hurt but for that same reason it tickled. He failed to stop a smile from forming on his face. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” he joked, grabbing her wrist before he started laughing at the featherlight touch. 

“I don't like this,” she said with a pout, wiggling her finger and poking his face so hard he winced. She gave him a knowing look, as if his reaction proved some point she was trying to make. 

“Ok rude.” He pulled back, bringing a hand up to cover his eye. 

“You need to be more careful,” she said thoughtfully, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. She always got what she wanted. And she wanted him to be safe, so in her mind she reasoned that she would make that happen no matter what it took.  

“That’s not gonna happen,” he scoffed, finding the idea that someone who does what he does has the luxury of being careful almost funny. 

“Then you can’t stay with me.” She crossed her arms defiantly, rolling over to look him in the eyes properly rather than tilting her head to the side. 

“Hm?” he questioned, a bit stunned by her boldness. 

“If you stay with me I need you to promise to stay out of trouble,” she stated more firmly this time. She was smiling weakly at him but it didn’t reach her eyes. There was a longing in the way she looked at him, like she wanted something she knew she couldn’t have. 

He shook his head, sighing sadly. The pitiful look she gave him made him want to fold right there and commit himself to a domestic life in her apartment feeding the cat and watering the plants. But he knew he wasn’t meant for a life like that, he didn’t deserve it. “Sweetheart, I can't-” 

She cut him off before he could finish, already knowing what he was going to say. “No. I can't sit up at night worrying if you’re ok. I can’t have you coming back all beat up. Believe it or not I don't like seeing you hurt.” She was shaking, her fingers twitching with the effort of stopping herself from reaching out to him. 

“I know. I’ll try to be careful. For you,” he assured her, crawling up onto the couch with her and pulling her into his arms. He was careful not to disturb the cat sleeping by her feet, positioning his legs so the orange fluff ball was cradled between the two of them. He would never have thought to do this in a million years but somehow he could tell it was what she needed. 

With their foreheads pressed together, he could easily see the tears falling down her cheeks in the dim light of the apartment. The lights were off inside but the curtains were open, allowing the lights of the city in and illuminating her wet face. “Hey. hey. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” She tried to turn away, but his arms held her in an iron grip. There was no avoiding her feelings as she so often tried to. 

“Clearly it’s something.” His large hand brushed over her cheek, only spreading the tears across her face. She sobbed lightly as he caressed her face. 

“I thought you were dead, Frank,” she finally said. Her voice was grim at that admittance. From about lunch time until he barged into her apartment she thought she would never see him again. Having him here, close enough to touch and doing just that, was giving her a sort of emotional whiplash. 

It was late and the crying tired her out so she started to drift off. “You’re not gettin rid of me that easy, doll,” he chuckled softly, pressing a firm kiss to her hairline. She shifted in his arms, nuzzling into his chest and sighing sweetly. “Keep that up and you’re never gettin rid of me,” he said, more to himself that time since she was clearly fast asleep.

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #daredevil #the punisher x reader #the punisher #matt murdock #just pure fluff tbh #some angst bc I’m sad all the time

[whalleyrulz]

halloween 2023

22) ...how do i name this? some shorts?

so okay. life's a lot. we needed shorts, not full movies. one of the things i'm going to talk about is one of the best horror things i've ever seen. the other two require a netflix subscription. they're.

okay so let's just get into it

DISCO INFERNO is a short film made by netflix, that makes it absolutely abundantly clear that the netflix style model is "no style," and the netflix script policy is "eh, it's words, right?" it's about a girl in the 70s who becomes pregnant, and the nun who killed her mother in the 50s tries to possess her at the opening of a new nightclub. how does the plot resolve? to speak from the viewpoints of the imagination-less execs who desperately want to be the human equivalent of an ai model, "who gives a shit." it feels like the kind of thing you use in a cosmic court case about whether or not executives have a soul, to prove that executives don't have souls, and this is a correct truth of the universe

FLASHBACK is a short film made by netflix, that shows what happens when you try your best to combine a love for everything everywhere all at once with netflix corporate execs. a home invasion winds up killing people. the execs, by the way, win out. it's about a girl using her end of life experience to do, as was said before, "who gives a shit." at this point i really genuinely feel like someone at netflix is actively working to kill art in order to make us more comfortable with ai taking over culture and killing the rest of human history. hey guys don't fucking use ai shit for anything related to art. if you do i fundamentally do not like you as a person. this shit is so fucking vile and inhuman. and these two shorts, despite being ostensibly made by humans, stink of ai. they reek of it. they burn my nostrils with malodorous digitations. fuuuuuuuuuck these shorts. if you make horror shorts, v/h/s needs to be watched, and treated as a bare fucking minimum of what to do. fuuuuck this

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING SO FUCKING GOOD COMING UP WITH A LINK AND EVERYTHING (i didn't watch it today but i watched it this month and i neeeeeeeed to talk about it)

THE OLDEST VIEW is a youtube horror miniseries by a fucking high school student that is better made and more horrifying and more tense and more unbelievably powerful in both concept and execution than, i shit you not, 90% of every other horror movie i've ever seen

it's about a youtuber who explores shit, finds a hole under a tree in texas, and the hole is full of stairs. the stairs go to an abandoned mall. there's art in the mall

there's art in the execution

there's no on-screen violence, there's no blood, there's no gore, this absolutely fits into youtube's content guidelines. it is, in theory, corporate as hell. but because it's made by someone who can just Make Art, Fuck The Overlords, it winds up being absolutely unstoppably powerful. absolutely incredibly horrifying. absolutely one of the best horror experiences i've had.

i'm going to link the playlist now. all in all, you need about an hour to watch it all. pleaaaaaase do it. please. PLEASE. if you ignore everything i say about every other horror movie, please watch this. PLEASE

1. skinamarink | 2. smile | 3. the black phone | 4. talk to me | 5. m3gan | 6. significant other | 7. cobweb | 8. horror in the high desert | 9. the pope's exorcist | 10. knock at the cabin | 11. infinity pool | 12. becky | 13. no one will save you | 14. huesera: the bone woman | 15. scream vi | 16. idle hands | 17. a wounded fawn | 18. v/h/s 85 | 19. evil dead rise | 20. mama | 21. look away

#halloween #31 days of horror #horror movies #disco inferno #flashback #the oldest view

[psmd-lingering-shadows]

Part 5: This Curious Feeling

After a bit of time had passed, I ended up making it back to Serene Village. I don't exactly know how, but I somehow ended up running all the way back here. But, just like I expected, the moment I stopped running, I went into a massive panting fit. I was basically gasping for air for a while there. Cripes, I don't think I've ever run such a long distance before. Maybe that's a sign that I needed to start laying off the sweets and get into shape. I'm chubby enough as is...

After panting for a few more seconds, I managed to collect myself and took a deep breath. Then I took a look up at the sky, only to see that the sun was nearly out of sight and the moon was clearly visible. I stared in shock as I began to realize how much time had passed since school had let out earlier. Kids like me should've been home around half an hour ago, at the latest.

...Yeah, I'm totally in for it when I get home.

Pops is gonna yell my ear off the moment I step through the door, I'm sure of it. A part of me just wanted to stay in the plaza to prolong my inevitable doom. But I already knew that doing so would only make things worse for me in the end.

Ugh...I might as well head home and face my punishment...It's not like it would be the first time, so I should be used to it by now...

After letting out an obnoxious sigh, I slowly began making my way to our house.  I crossed the bridge and took a look at all of the houses in the area.  The doors were all closed and the lights were on inside, meaning that the villagers were inside and probably about to settle down for the night.  I noticed that the houses of my classmates were lit up, too.  Now that I think about it, Pancham and the rest of them ended up leaving right after me, right?  Did they end up making it back before I did somehow?  I wonder if they ended up getting in trouble with their parents, too?  Yeesh, if that's the case, I feel bad for them, especially Pancham.  His mom might be on the same level as Pops is when it comes to how scary they can be when they get upset.  But then again, he kinda put himself in that position in the first place by doing what he did, so...I guess it can be considered karma?

While I was thinking about all of this, I ended up freezing in my tracks when I noticed something that caught my attention.

The lights are on in Mr. Nuzleaf's house, too...

Wait, if his lights are on, then that means that he really is back from his trip!  It looks like Kokai was right.

...Oh, but wait.  Wouldn't that mean Kokai is inside, too?  He did say that he was staying with Mr. Nuzleaf, so he'd totally be inside right now, right?  In that case, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a quick peek inside and see what he's up to...

...

No, what are you talking about, Nozomi?  Looking into someone else's house?  Isn't that an invasion of privacy?  Come on, even you wouldn't do something like that.

...

But...it would only be for a moment...and I do wanna see Kokai again, even if it's only for a few seconds...

...

N-no!  Come on, now.  You're better than that.  Besides, I shouldn't be wasting any more time.  I need to get home right now.

Managing to suppress my curiosity and my desire to see Kokai again, I forcefully shook my head and walked past Mr. Nuzleaf's house.  After taking only a few more steps, I found myself in front of my own house.  I looked at the door and, as expected, saw that it was closed.  I doubt it was locked though - Pops usually leaves it unlocked until it becomes completely dark outside.  Besides, I hadn't come home yet, so he wouldn't just lock me out.

"..."

Well, this is it.  Once I swing this door open, I'm gonna get scolded into total oblivion.  Maybe if I told him why I got home so late, he'd be at least a little more lenient.  It's worth a shot, at least.  Either way, what's about to happen next is gonna be pretty unpleasant for me.

Making a nervous gulp, I put the tip of my flipper on the knob and turned it, then slowly pushed the door open.  I only managed to takes two steps into the house before I immediately heard loud footsteps approaching from the other room.  Pops had gotten up from where he was and instantly ran over to see me.

"Nozomi!?" he said with a hint of relief in his voice.

I scratched the back of my head and gave him a sheepish smile before announcing that I was home.

When I did that, Pops's brow furrowed and an angry expression appeared on his face.  Oh, boy.  Here we go...

"You come home hours later than you were supposed to and THAT'S all you have to say?!  You little fool!  Where in the world were you?!  I was worried sick!" he yelled.

After initially flinching at how loud he was shouting, I began telling him what had happened once I had left school.  I told him just about everything - from me falling asleep in class and leaving later than everyone else, to me overhearing Shelmet and Deerling and following them to look for Goomy, to me ending up going through the Foreboding Forest with Pancham and meeting Kokai.  Even if he got more upset about me going against his warnings by going into the Foreboding Forest, I figured it was better if I was completely honest with him.  I at least owed him that much for making him worry so much.

When I was finished explaining everything that happened, Pops closed his eyes as though he was deep in thought, then let out a heavy sigh.

"Goodness, Nozomi.  You really do know how to get yourself into troublesome situations," he said.

I looked down at the ground and quietly apologized for making him worry about me for the millionth time.

He looked at me and shook his head.  "Hmph.  At this point, I'm used to it...though I'm not sure if that's necessarily a good thing," he said.

I looked back at him, remaining quiet for a moment, then took a risk by asking him how much trouble I was in.  In response to that, Pops paused, stared at me for an uncomfortably long time, then gave his answer.

"I will admit, I am rather upset with how you went about the situation.  Instead of coming to me or one of your classmate's parents, you all decided to handle the situation by yourselves.  The Foreboding Forest is no place for children to run around in.  There's no telling what could have happened to any of you if the rescue didn't go well," he lectured.

"..."

"But..."

Huh?

"...I do understand that you meant well and were only trying to do the right thing.  You saw that someone else was in trouble, and you decided to lend a helping hand.  I can understand the desire to help others, no matter how much danger is involved with doing so."

P-Pops...

"So, to answer your question, Nozomi, the answer is no.  You're not in any trouble...this time."

When he gave me that answer, I couldn't help but smile gleefully.  I couldn't believe my ears!  I thought for sure that I was totally done for!

"However..."

"...!"

"...You must promise me that if a situation like that ever happens again, you won't act so recklessly.  Let me or any other one of the adults from the village take care of it.  Is that understood?"

Ugh, I figured there would be some sort of catch.  Well, I guess that's just Pops for ya.  He acts like a stern old Pokémon, but I know that deep down, he's super protective of me.  A bit overly so sometimes, but I guess being a parent does that to you.  I'll be honest - I didn't like the idea of having to get an adult every time something bad goes down.  It kinda makes me think that Pops doesn't believe I'm capable of handling problems like this.  I mean, I know I can be pretty irresponsible sometimes, but that doesn't mean that I'm completely incompetent!  He probably doesn't mean it like that, and this is just him being him as always, but it still bothered me for some reason.  Still, it's not like I have a choice here.

I begrudgingly promised that I'd do what he told me to do, making him respond with a nod.

"Good," he said, seemingly satisfied.  "Now then, moving on from that...you must be quite famished after everything you've been through today," he said.

Before I could reply, I heard a low grumbling sound coming from my belly.  I looked down in embarrassment as Pops gave a small chuckle.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said as he started walking towards the kitchen counter.  "Very well, then.  I had planned on having you help me fix tonight's dinner, but I suppose you won't have enough energy to be of any help.  Just head into your room and wait while I fix everything, alright?"

I nodded and went into my room to wait.  It took a little longer than I expected, but Pops finally finished making everything.  The two of us spent the rest of that evening in the kitchen, chatting and eating his amazing food.  Overall, I was pretty happy with how today turned out.  I got to go on an adventure in Foreboding Forest, Goomy ended up getting rescued, I got to meet Kokai, I was able to bury the hatchet with Pancham, and despite turning up late, I still managed to spend some time with Pops.

...Heh, I don't think I've ever had such an awesome day like this before.

Once we had finished eating, I was about to head back into my room until a thought popped into my head.  I turned around and called out to Pops.

Pops, who was gathering the dishes from the table, looked up and tilted his head.  "Hmm?  What is it, Nozomi?"

"..."

"When did Mr. Nuzleaf come back from his trip?  Hmm...if I recall correctly, it was in the afternoon, a little while after school had been let out.  Based on what you told me earlier, you were still at the school while everyone else had already left," he replied.

Right...that makes sense.  Well, if Pops saw Mr. Nuzleaf, then...

"..."

"Oh?  You're wondering if I saw the child that was accompanying him?  You told me his name was Kokai, yes?"

I gave him a small nod.

"Well, I did catch a brief glimpse of both of them while I was out gathering ingredients for tonight.  They were both heading towards Mr. Nuzleaf's house.

Huh...I see...So, Mr. Nuzleaf left Serene Village for one of his usual trips, then ran into Kokai at some point during that time, and ended up taking him back with him?  But why?  What caused him to do something like that?  From what I can tell, Mr. Nuzleaf doesn't seem like the type of Pokémon who'd wanna care for a kid...

Realizing that I was lost in thought, Pops asked me a question.

"Why are you asking me all of this, anyway?  Are you perhaps curious about the young lad?"

"...!"

W-wow...Was it that obvious?

Well, I mean, why wouldn't I be? There's so much about him that I wanna know more about!  Where he came from, why Nuzleaf took him in, how he's so good at exploring...

...But, there are two things in particular that I wanna know more than anything else.

First off, when we had first introduced ourselves, and I had stared into his eyes, they were filled with such intense pain and sorrow.  I've never seen a pair of eyes hold so much emotion in them like that before.  I had only looked into his eyes for few seconds and I was able to feel everything he had felt at that moment...It was awful.  Why?  What could have caused him to feel like that?  Did something set it off?

And secondly, the whole time we were exploring, I couldn't shake this weird feeling I got whenever I would look at him.  This weird deja vu sensation...It was as though I had met him already.  But, there's no way that's the case.  I mean, if I had met him before, I definitely would have remembered.  There's no way I would have forgotten someone as unique as him!

...

Hold up...Now that I think about it...it's that exact same feeling I had when I had that dream last night!  Yeah, when I was talking to that weird voice!  I remember pointing out that it sounded familiar to me somehow...

Wait...don't tell me...could that voice be related to Kokai in some way?!

...

...

No...no, of course not.  Even if those two seem familiar to me, there's no way could be related.  I'm just being weird by coming up with these crazy theories...

"...Nozomi!"

"...!!"

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Pops shouting my name.  I looked up at him, seeing his confused and slightly concerned face.

"Are you alright?  What exactly are you thinking about?" he asked.

To that question, I looked down, paused for a brief moment, then looked back up at Pops with a slightly determined expression.

...I wanna know more about Kokai.

When I said that, Pops looked at me curiously.  "Oh?  Do you, now?" he asked.

I nodded vigorously.  Yeah, if I want answers to my questions, then I'll just have get them by seeing him again.  I'll be sure to find out more about him if we see each other again.  And of course, even if I don't get any info from him, just being able to spend time with him would be pretty nice...

Pops gave me a small smirk.  "Hmm, I see.  I didn't expect him to pique your interest that much.  Are you sure it's just curiosity that's making you so interested in this boy?" he asked.

...Huh?  What does he mean by...

...

...!!

WHA-?!

The moment I understood what Pops was trying to imply, a huge blush formed on my face.  I frantically shook my head in an attempt to tell him that it wasn't like that at all.  This only caused him to let out a hearty chuckle.

"Ahahahahaha!  There's no need to get so riled up.  It was a mere jest," he said.

I furrowed my brow and frowned at him.  That wasn't funny at all.  Geez...

Then Pops's expression shifted into a serious one.  "...That being said, if you were to try and pursue a relationship with someone, I would have to put a stop to it.  You're far too young to be involved in that sort of thing," he said.

C-CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS?!

After unintentionally blurting that out, Pops stared at me with slightly widened eyes, then awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Alright, alright.  I can see that I've embarrassed you enough for one night," he said, giving me another small smirk.

I turned away from him, crossed my arms, and pouted, making an obnoxious "Hmph!" in the process.

Pops let out a sigh before speaking again.  "In all seriousness, if you really are as interested in this child as you say you are, then by all means, go ahead and speak with him.  I'm sure he'll be happy to see you again."

Is that right?  I sure hope so...

...

*yawn*

Oh wow...I didn't realize how tired I was becoming.

Hearing me yawn so suddenly, Pops looked outside the window and realized how dark it had become.  Then he looked back at me and gave a small grunt.  "It's getting late.  You should head to bed soon.  We can talk about this more in the morning, if you'd like," he said.

I gave him a small nod before rubbing my eyes.  I ended up letting out another yawn, which prompted me to start walking towards my room.  I thanked Pops for dinner and wished him a good night before turning in for the night and drifting off to sleep -

...Oh, hold on!

I never told Pops about my dream!

So much stuff happened today that it caused me to forget to tell him!

Ugh...Oh well.  I'll just tell him tomorrow.

*yawn*

...Okay, I should really go to sleep now.  Wouldn't wanna add to my sleeping issues by staying up late...

...

...

...

THE NEXT MORNING...

...

...

"...zomi..."

...

"...Nozomi..."

...

"NOZOMI!"

...Huh?

...

...Bwuh!  Not again!

Hearing Pops shouting my name with that booming voice of his was enough to instantly make me realize what was going on.

I had overslept...again.

Geez Louise...this was starting to become a real headache…I wonder how much longer I can keep going like this?

I turned to look at Pops, who was motioning for me to get up.

"Hurry and get ready, Nozomi.  I'll prepare a quick breakfast for you so you won't have to go to school on an empty stomach."

I wanted to protest to that idea so I could have a better chance of arriving on time, but then I was quickly reminded of the last time I left for school without an actual meal.  Getting through the day with just an apple was pretty rough, and I'd rather not go through that again.  So I went along with what Pops said and slowly stood up so I could get ready.  I did a brief stretch to loosen up my body, then I grabbed my satchel and put my belongings in there, just like last time.  When I had gathered up everything, I went into the kitchen and sat at the table to wait for Pops to finish cooking.  After a few minutes, he had prepared a plate and set it down in front of me.  I looked down to see what he had made - some toasted bread with Chesto jam and some hash browns.

...I couldn’t help but grin as I realized he had intentionally used Chesto jam to help me keep my energy up. Nice one, Pops.

I quickly chomped down on the toast and gobbled up the hash browns.  Unfortunately, I failed to take into account the fact that they were freshly made, and therefore still pretty hot.  As a result, I ended up flailing around for the next thirty seconds trying to chew and swallow all of it while also trying not to let it burn the inside of my mouth.  Pops watched the entire scene unfold and couldn't help but let out a tired sigh.  Honestly, I couldn't blame him.  It was just the beginning of the day and he was already having to put up with my antics.

After recovering from that experience, I put my plate in the sink, ran up to Pops, gave him a brief hug, and thanked him for the meal before running out the door.  I heard Pops telling me to enjoy my day at school as I rushed out, and I couldn't help but let out a smile at what he said. 

Just like the other day this had happened, I hastily ran past the other houses, across the bridge, and through the plaza to get to school.  Hopefully, there was still some time left before the bell ends up ringing.  Even if there wasn't, maybe the teachers would be pretty understanding, considering they all know about my situation.  ...Well, at the very least, Miss Audino and Mr. Farfetch'd know.  But even if the other two don't, I could explain it to them.  I'm super sure Principal Simipour would understand.  Vice Principal Watchog, on the other hand...I honestly don't know how he'd react.  He'd probably find a way to still lecture me for being late...that definitely sounds like something he'd do.  Out of all the students at school, I'm the one who gets called out by him the most.  Even Pancham and Shelmet don't get in as much trouble with him compared to me.  I know it's because of my reputation, so it's pretty much my fault, but still...

As I got closer and closer to the school gate, I let out a confident smirk.  It looked like I was gonna arrive on time again, after all.

...Or at least, that’s what I had thought.

*RING RING RING*

"...!"

That was…the bell…

…

AW, NO!

Realizing that I had failed to make it to school on time, my running ended up turning into a full-blown sprint. I knew that it was kinda pointless to do so, since I was already late, but I wanted to believe that if I got there as quickly as possible, I wouldn’t be in as much trouble. I closed my eyes and put everything I had into my sprint. I was going so fast, it didn’t even feel like I was running anymore - I felt like I was using the move “Quick Attack”! Heh, I wonder if that’s how it really feels for other Pokémon who use it?

Unfortunately for me, I was so focused on my running, I initially didn’t realize that I had already zoomed past the school gate after a minute or so. It, uh, didn’t really help that I still had my eyes closed, too. I had finally wised up to that fact that I was there when I started hearing the surprised voices of my classmates and teachers. But by then, it was too late. The second I figured out that I had made it, a wave of confusion and panic washed over me. I had too much momentum to just stop in my tracks, and it seemed as though I was gonna crash straight into something at the speed I was going.

And, to my dismay, that’s exactly what happened.

…Well, kinda.

*thud*

“…?!”

A confused expression formed on my face as I was trying to process what just played out. Just like I was afraid of, I did end up making contact with something. But the impact wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. In fact, it kinda felt as though it had been…cushioned? It felt as though I had ran into something soft…and warm.

…Hold on.

Maybe it wasn’t “something” I ran into?

Rather…it was “someone”?

Once that thought had occurred to me, I slowly opened my eyes and looked at what - or rather, who - I had crashed into. And the instant I did, my confusion was completely replaced by total shock.

“G-good grief…I didn’t know you could run that fast.”

When I had opened my eyes, I ended making direct eye contact with Kokai. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I mean, I knew he was staying with Mr. Nuzleaf, but for whatever reason, I didn’t think I’d see him again so soon. Especially not here at school! What was he even doing here?

“…?”

Wait a sec…

…

Eh?

It was then that I realized that Kokai was grabbing both of my shoulders. It was a gentle, yet firm grip that had a lot of strength behind it. Hold on. Did Kokai… did he manage to stop my sprinting by grabbing me so suddenly like that? N-no way! He just supposed to be a Charmander, right?! Charmander aren’t supposed to be that strong! And yet, he managed to stop me like he was a full-grown Charizard! How in the -

“Oh, goodness!”

“…?!”

I turned to my left, only to see all of the teachers looking on at the scene that had just unfolded. Even Principal Simipour was there, who was looking at both of us with a curious expression on his face. Mr. Farfectch’d simply stared at us, not quite sure how to react to what just happened. Vice Principal Watchog had a mixture of shock and outrage on his face, most likely due to the fact that I had yet again caused another scene in front of the whole class. The only one who actually said anything was Miss Audino, who ended up blurting that out in surprise and concern.

“Kokai! Nozomi! Are you two alright?!” she asked.

Kokai turned to her and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered.

I looked at her and awkwardly nodded, confused as to what the heck was going on. Noticing my confusion, Principal Simipour gave me a warm smile and spoke.

“Good morning, Nozomi! It’s good to see that you managed to make it to class today. I was afraid that you wouldn’t be here for this special occasion,” he said.

I looked at him and questioningly tilted my head. Special occasion? What is he talking about?

“I was just announcing to the rest of the class that we had a new student here with us today. Though, from their earlier reactions, it seems as though most of them have already met him outside of class,” he said.

N-new student? Wait, is he talking about who I think he’s talking about?

I turned back to Kokai, who had let go of my shoulders and nodded his head, as though he knew what I was thinking.

“Yeah…it’s me,” he simply stated.

…

…

…

W-WHAAAAT?!

Did I hear that right?! Kokai is actually a student here now?! He’s gonna be coming here every day? That’s…

Before I could finish my thought, Principal Simipour continued with his explanation.

“Kokai here came here to Serene Village with Mr. Nuzleaf. He plans on staying here with him for a while, from what we heard from Mr. Nuzleaf. So with that being said, let’s all make sure he feels welcome here, not just at school, but in the village too.”

The rest of the class, who I didn’t pay any mind to until now, all responded in unison to Principal Simipour with a “Yes, sir!”.

Principal Simipour hummed in delight and turned to Mr. Farfetch’d. “Mr. Farfetch’d. Now that we’ve all been introduced to Kokai, would you mind starting class?” he asked.

Mr. Farfetch’d, still processing what just happened, stammered a bit before answering. “N-not at all, sir,” Mr. Farfetch’d replied.

“Alright, then. In that case, I’ll be heading back to the office. I hope you all enjoy listening to today’s lesson!” he said as he waved to everyone and walked back to his office. Vice Principal Watchog briefly looked at both Kokai and myself, then grunted and followed the principal back to the office.

Miss Audino stared at the two of us, making sure we weren’t hurt from what happened earlier. When she was done, she gave a small sigh of relief and waved at everyone before heading back to the nurse’s office, leaving just Mr. Farfetch’d to the rest of us. Mr. Farfetch’d awkwardly cleared his throat before managing to move on.

“W-well then…” he started, “…if everyone is ready proceed with the lesson, then we shall get started.” Then he turned to me. “Nozomi.”

“…!”

I quickly looked at him, waiting for him to speak again.

“I’m willing to excuse the fact that you were late to class if you simply take your seat and pay attention to the lesson,” he said.

…Oof. Looks like he remembered that I ended up coming to class late. I was hoping that me crashing into Kokai would cause him to forget, but I guess not.

I nodded and quickly headed to my desk, then plopped down in my seat. Mr. Farfetch’d then turned to Kokai. “Hmm, let’s see…Kokai, do you mind sitting next to Nozomi?” he asked.

He turned and looked at me with the same stoic expression he always seems to have, then shrugged. “…Sure,” he said as he walked over and casually sat at the desk that was right next to mine. Once he was settled in his seat, I couldn’t help but stare at him with a wide-eyed expression. I still couldn’t believe that he was actually here right now…

Kokai immediately noticed that I was staring at him and was about to say something, but was cut off by Mr. Farfetch’d.

“Oi, eyes up front, Nozomi! I expect you and everyone else to be on their best behavior today!” he shouted with a stern expression.

I turned back to the front and briefly apologized before sulking a bit in my seat. Kokai allowed his eyes to linger on me for a few seconds, then he did the same thing I did and quickly faced the front. And with that, Mr. Farfetch’d’s lesson began.

…

…

…

THAT AFTERNOON…

*RING RING RING*

“…And that is all for today. Class dismissed!” Mr. Farfetch’d announced before leaving the podium and walking to the office building. Once he had left, I felt myself finally relaxing since class had started. It had taken everything in me not to let myself become distracted during the entire day. It was even more difficult to do so today because of the Pokémon who was literally sitting next to me. I wanted to talk to him all day, but I knew if I tried getting his attention, Mr. Farfetch’d would have noticed and come down on me harder than a Snorlax using Body Slam on a Weedle.

Once I was done gathering up my belongings, I stood up from my seat and walked over to where Kokai was sitting. He was gathering his stuff too, so he didn’t notice that I was there until he looked up and saw me in front of his desk. His eyes widened slightly, but he quickly recovered and greeted me.

“Oh…Nozomi. Nice to see you again,” he said.

I greeted him with a friendly smile and asked how he was doing.

“Me? I’m doing well enough, I guess. Though, I didn’t expect that I’d end up attending classes here. Seriously, I have no idea why I’m even here. I don’t know why he’s being such as pain about all this…” he murmured the last part to himself.

I gave him a questioning look and asked who he was talking about.

Realizing that I had heard him say that, he calmly shook his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he replied. “And what about you? Are you doing alright?”

Before I could answer his question, I heard someone else shout Kokai’s name. I looked at where the voice was coming from, and saw Deerling and Goomy walking towards the two of us. Kokai turned around with a questioning look, wondering what they wanted.

“Deerling and Goomy. What’s up?” he asked.

Deerling paused for a moment before speaking again. “Well…we never got to thank you properly for rescuing Goomy in the Foreboding Forest, so we just wanted to say that we’re both really grateful for what you all did,” she said.

Goomy nodded. “Mm-hmm! Thank you again for saving me!” he said happily.

Kokai gave a small nod. “Don’t mention it. Pokémon are supposed to help each other out when they’re in trouble, aren’t they?”

Deerling smiled and let out a small giggle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, I’m pretty curious about one thing though,” she said.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“How did you even know that Goomy was in the Foreboding Forest to begin with?” she asked.

Kokai paused for a moment, then gave his answer.

“…I saw you and Shelmet arguing about it in the plaza. I couldn’t just walk away, so I ended up following you guys.”

Deerling’s eyes widened at Kokai’s response. “Wait, you followed us, too?” she asked.

Kokai gave her a confused expression. “Huh? What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s just that Nozomi did the same thing. She said she followed us right after we left the plaza,” Deerling explained. “Although, it’s a little weird that you two didn’t run into each other at all if you did the same thing. And now that I think about it, it’s even stranger that we didn’t see you near the entrance, since it’s the only way into the forest.”

“…!”

…!

Wait, now that I think about it, she’s right. Even if we somehow managed to miss each other when we both followed them, there’s no way we would have missed him heading into the forest. Even if he went in after Pancham and I did, Deerling and Shelmet were still at the entrance. They definitely would have seen him. But they didn’t recognize Kokai at all when the three of us returned to the entrance…

When he heard that, Kokai froze. He looked down for a moment, and even though he was trying to hide it, he has a slightly distressed look on his face. After a few more seconds, he returned to normal and simply shrugged.

“Is that so? Huh, how odd. Maybe I managed to get past you guys while your backs were turned or something,” he said.

Deerling and Goomy gave each other uncertain looks before Deerling spoke. “W-well, maybe, but-”

Kokai abruptly cut her off. “Anyway, I’m sorry to cut the conversation short, but I’m about to head out shortly. Nozomi wanted to hang out with me a little after school ended.”

…Wait, huh?!

Kokai turned to me and gave me a small smirk. “…That is why you approached me, right? So you could talk with me?” he asked.

W-well, yeah, but…how in the world did he know about that?!

Recovering from my initial shock, I looked away sheepishly and nodded my head. Kokai’s smiled widened ever so slightly and nodded. “Alright, then. If that’s the case, I’m ready to leave whenever you are.”

Deerling and Goomy stared at Kokai for a few more seconds before deciding to drop the earlier conversation entirely. “Well…alright then. If you two are planning on spending time with each other, then we won’t hold you up,” Deerling said.

Kokai nodded at her. “Thanks, you two.”

“Yeah, of course. Come on, Goomy, let’s go,” Deerling said as her and Goomy started to leave. They quickly said their goodbyes to the two of us before completely leaving the school.

Once they were gone, I turned to Kokai with a confused expression on my face. Man, there’s so much about this Charmander that makes me so curious about him. I’ve never met anyone like him before. I wonder if talking with him is really going to give me any insight as to who he is…

“…It’s not polite to stare, you know.”

“…?!”

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Kokai, who had noticed that I was looking at him. “You know, you were struggling not to look at me during class today, either. Is there something about me you find interesting?” he asked.

Eep! He noticed me looking at him during class, too?!

I couldn’t help but let out a small blush as I looked away and tried to collect myself. When I finally managed to, I looked at him with a slightly furrowed brow and frowned. This was apparently enough for him to get the message.

“Alright, alright, I’m done with the teasing…” for now.

“H-hmph!”

I gave him a glare started walking off on my own, expecting him to follow behind me.

Kokai watched me walk down the slope, then sighed to himself before looking down with a pained expression on his face.

“…”

“…Kokai?”

“…Huh?”

I ran back to where he was when I noticed that he was still there. Then, in a concerned tone, asked if he was alright.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds, then nodded.

“Yeah, I’m alright. Sorry for the holdup. Let’s get going,” he said.

I nodded and the two of us walked down the slope together to leave the school.

#pmd #pokemon #pokemon super mystery dungeon #story #fanfic #writing #psmd #psmdls

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

Stolen

An excerpt from the lives of Emmett Becker and Murdoc

----------

Fandom: MacGyver (2016 reboot)

Pairing: Murdoc x Emmett Becker (self insert)

CW: house break-in, federal agents, general angst

----------

The sun filtered in through the blinds of Emmett and Murdoc’s shared bedroom. The couple lay in bed, just barely awake enough to register each other’s presence. Emmett opened their eyes, taking in Murdoc’s sun lit features, admiring the way the light hit his aquiline nose, the wisps of dark hair that lay across his face as he slept. Then they noticed his eyes fluttering open and as they did, they closed their eyes again, afraid that if he saw they were both awake the day would have to begin and so too would the bliss of the morning, end. 

“I know you’re awake, Emmett” came the voice of Murdoc, slightly raspy from lack of use through the night. 

Emmett lay there wordlessly.

Murdoc chuckled and stroked their hair gently, “I could feel you watching me”. 

Emmett opened their eyes slowly, still waking up a bit, “Alright, you got me. But you’re just too pretty to not watch, ‘specially in the morning like this…”

Murdoc smiled softly, “you’re one to be talking.. pretty eyes.. . I love you so much, Emmett, I hope you know that…”

Emmett smiled back, “I know, Murdoc. You know that I love you the same, right?”

Murdoc nodded and then went quiet for a moment before speaking again, “I think I could live here” he said. 

Emmett made a small confused noise. After all, the two had been living together for some time already. 

“No, no, I mean, I could live in this moment, here, forever, with you.”

“NSA!! HANDS IN THE AIR! NOW! GET YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!!” 

Then came the smoke bombs. And the panic. And yelling. 

Before Emmett knew it, Murdoc had taken out four of the unknown number of intruders. But there were more and soon enough they had him pinned on his stomach, to the ground. 

With the threat of Murdoc now temporarily neutralized, a higher level NSA agent- apparently- stepped into the room. 

“Murdoc, otherwise known as Suspect 218, you are now under arrest, by the authority of the National Security Agency. Dr. Emmett Becker, we apologize for the inconvenience and we will now be leaving. 

As their higher up spoke coolly, the soldiers roughly handcuffed and brought Murdoc to his feet again. 

‘Even like this, he had an undeniably powerful aura’, Emmett thought to themself, vaguely. 

But then, something in Emmett clicked, and they realized that this meant they would never see him again. 

Emmett lunged for the top agent’s gun, holstered at his hip. Two other agents grabbed them, each holding an arm. 

“NO!!” they screamed, fighting against the two guards restraining them on either side. Emmett fought. They fought so fucking hard. 

The world blurred a bit through their teary eyes and the placating voice of some official or other echoed vaguely in Emmett’s ears, “Doctor Becker, we’re going to need you to please calm down. We understand that you were assigned to Suspect 218’s case initially, but seeing as the Phoenix Foundation is being dissolved, you no longer have any authority over him-”

“CALM DOWN?! CALM DOWN?!!” Emmett shrieked at the man trying to mollify them, “Y-you- you break into our HOME and you say you’re TAKING him?! You think you’re taking the love of my life away from me? Over my dead fucking body-” 

“Emmett”

Through the hurricane of emotions pounding in Emmett’s head, came Murdoc’s voice, clean, clear, crystal clear. 

“You need to let me go.”

Emmett sobbed as they sank to the floor, helpless. “...no”

“Let me go, Emmett.”

Looking up, pleading at Murdoc, Emmett felt hot tears run down their cheeks. 

“I love you, Emmett. I love you so much.”

And then they marched him out their broken down door, as though nothing had ever happened. As if they weren’t ripping out Emmett’s heart and shooting it.

Emmett sat there, in the center, with the wreckage left behind by the invasion of their home surrounding them and tears running down their cheeks, neverendingly. 

-----

Not a day went by where Emmett didn’t think of what they’d lost nearly two years ago. Who they’d lost. He wasn’t dead. They were fairly sure of that much. But he might as well have died 18 months ago. That was when they’d taken him back into federal custody, locked up in some prison who knows where til the end of his days. 

The days blurred into each other now and there was little distinction between the weeks. Months too seemed to fade into each other. Very little seemed real anymore, or rather, everything seemed muted, as though the color that Murdoc had brought into Emmett’s life had faded with his incarceration. 

Days were routine, in and out. Get up. Shower. Eat some semblance of breakfast, go to the university to teach some introductory class to students who will ultimately never use the knowledge shared with them. Go home. Grade papers. Eat a semblance of dinner. Sleep. Repeat. 

Until one day the routine was broken. 

“Oh, hey Mac” Emmett said. It wasn’t entirely unusual to see MacGyver on campus, seeing as they’d invited him to work there after their jobs at the Phoenix Foundation were lost. Sometimes they even met up for lunch. But something was different today. Emmett could tell. Mac was tense, with something to say, something important. Important like the days of the Phoenix Foundation; that level of importance. 

And there was someone with him today. An unfamiliar face. How strange. 

“Emmett, meet Russ Taylor, Russ, meet Dr. Emmett Becker.” MacGyver said hurriedly before explaining with great urgency the situation they were in. Russ, as the man had been introduced, was the owner of a private intelligence company known as Spearhead Operations and was recruiting Mac and the other former members of the Phoenix Foundation for a mission of great importance. 

Everyone else was back on board already, they’d said, already having talked to them. It was all up to them at this point. Would Emmett complete the team? There was some part of Emmett that didn’t want to. They knew logically it wasn’t any of their faults’ that the Phoenix Foundation was defunded and shut down. But there was blame to go around and Emmett wanted somewhere to put it. Blame for taking away Murdoc. They wanted somewhere to put that blame. But more than that, they wanted him back. And they saw this as a chance to get him back. For the first time in a long time, they had a chance. 

“Mr. Taylor-”

“Russ works just fine”

“Russ, if I join this mission, I need assurance of something.”

“Yes, yes, anything.”

“I want Murdoc back.”

“Done.”

“Really? Just like that? And you know who I’m talking about? His history. Our history?”

“Truly. And yes. I know. I can make that happen. Just come with us. We need you, now. You’ll see him soon, I promise.”

“Okay. I’ll come with you.”

#i love you just a little too much #selfship #selfshipping #selfship writing #selfshipping writing #f/o #f/o writing #self insert #self insert writing #self insert community #f/o community #selfship community #selfship fic #self insert fic #nonbinary self insert #trans self insert #nblm selfship #gay selfship #macgyver murdoc selfship #macgyver murdoc x oc #macgyver selfship #macgyver oc #villain f/o #oc x canon writing #oc x canon #oc x canon community

[deepspacedukat]

The Only One - Part 5: Sidestep

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here. Part 6 here.

Weyoun 5 (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: I’m proud to announce that this chapter will cause no emotional upheavals whatsoev– *Is handed a hastily-scrawled note* Ah...I’ve just been informed that my previous statement is not correct. There is apparently slight emotional pain after all... *Twiddles thumbs innocently* Uhm...enjoy! *Yeets chapter and sprints into the sunset* ]

Taglist (If you want to be added or removed, feel free to let me know): @azorastarr​

Warnings: Emotions, wartime goodbyes, spoilers for S5E26 “Call To Arms”, feelings, and mildly suggestive language.

~*~

Over the next two weeks, I had very little time to pine for my lover. Dominion activity had increased substantially. They were sending large convoys through the wormhole at an alarming rate, and it looked as though the invasion that the Federation had feared was about to begin. There were small joys like Rom and Leeta’s marriage, but for the most part, the residents of Deep Space Nine were waiting nervously for an attack.

Our combat training drills had increased in their frequency, but nearly everyone I talked to knew that if the Dominion were to attack Deep Space Nine, they’d most likely end up taking it. That knowledge sparked a thought...it was just an inkling at first, but the longer I mulled it over, the more feasible it seemed.

But would the Captain agree to it? After my shift in Ops was over, I went to his office and asked to speak with him privately. I knew he was already concerned about the situation due to the Romulan-Dominion non-aggression treaty, but I explained my proposal the best that I could.

“Let me get this straight. You are aware of the most likely imminent attack on this station by the Dominion, yet you want a transfer to the Bajoran Militia so that you can stay here in the event that we lose the station?” The Captain asked incredulously.

“Yes, sir. I-I know how it sounds–”

“It sounds as though you’ve got a death wish!” He bellowed standing from his desk. “What makes you think I’d allow any officer under my command to take such a risk?”

“I can help ensure the safety of Bajoran officers and citizens, sir. The Jem’Hadar listen to me, the Vorta listen to me. I can do more for the future of Bajor if I stay here than if I was on the Defiant with you. Bajor is the mission, sir. It always has been. All I’m asking for is a chance to continue that mission in the most effective way that I can,” I reasoned, and the Captain turned to look out the viewport behind his desk. “Captain...I’m in a unique position. I’m the only half-Changeling in existence. Besides Odo, no Changeling has ever harmed another, so I’ll be safe. And I can find quiet ways to undermine the Dominion’s plans – I may even be able to get messages to Starfleet to keep them informed.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Weyoun would it?” He asked quietly, and I sighed. I could see why he would think that. Hell, maybe on some subconscious level I was giving in to an urge to see the Vorta again, but for the most part, my decision was as clear-headed as could be.

“No, sir,” I answered truthfully. “Captain, the assignment would only be temporary. If the station is taken, which we have to assume it will be, I’d be under Major Kira’s command until Starfleet regains control of the station.”

“You can’t assume that we’ll be successful in retaking the station once it’s under Dominion control!” The Captain shouted as he turned to face me again. “Don’t you understand, Lieutenant? You could be signing your own death warrant! You may never see any of us again, you may never go home to Earth again. We might be completely overrun by the Dominion and never regain control of the Alpha Quadrant–”

“In which case, I am still more useful here than on the Defiant! You already have one science officer, Captain, you don’t need a second. I refuse to leave Bajor vulnerable when I have the ability to influence the members they install on this station,” I stated drawing myself up to my full height. “Odo will be staying to do his bit, and whether you give me the transfer or not, I will be as well. The only question is whether I’ll be doing it as a civilian or as a member of the Bajoran Militia. The choice is yours. Sir.”

After a moment’s silence, the Captain sighed in a resigned sort of way.

“I’ll have to speak with Starfleet Command...assuming they approve, we’ll also need the go-ahead from the Bajoran Ministers. They’d have to be made aware of the situation since it’s their uniform you’d be wearing. Speak with Major Kira, and tell Dax to put me through to Starfleet,” he said quietly. “Lieutenant, I can’t guarantee they’ll give you the answer you want, but...I’ll do everything in my power to convince them.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said with a solemn sort of smile. As I exited his office, I gave Dax the Captain’s order and spoke quietly with the Major about my proposition. She looked at me as if I was insane for a solid minute before going to speak with the ministers over subspace.

--

The field of self-replicating mines blocking the wormhole’s entrance was an ingenious idea. Thanks to Rom’s creativity, it seemed like there would be a way for us to stop the Dominion convoys, at least temporarily. The reaction it provoked was nearly instantaneous. The Dominion sent an ambassador to negotiate with Captain Sisko, but until the ship itself arrived, I had no idea who that would be.

I felt him as soon as the ship docked. Seated in Odo’s office going over a preliminary security plan, I broke off mid-sentence and met the Changeling’s eyes.

“Weyoun is here,” I murmured, stirring a curious sort of alarm in the Security Chief’s eyes.

“And how do you know that?” He asked, and I was a bit confused myself. The imprinting connection formed on our impromptu voyage the last time he was on the station seemed to have solidified or been modified somehow. Perhaps it was because of the shift in relationship dynamics that had happened before we’d last parted? Either way, I hadn’t mentioned that connection to anyone, not even Odo, but it seemed now that I wouldn’t have much of a choice in the matter.

“It’s a long story, but...I can feel him. He’s just arrived,” I answered, and Odo looked at me with an unreadable expression before checking the computer.

“The Dominion ship is docked at lower pylon three...” he informed me, and I stood. “Lieutenant...before you go seeking him out, I think it only wise to caution you against being too public about your friendship with the Vorta.”

“Odo, can you do me a favor?” I asked, and he gestured for me to continue. This was going to be one hell of a request. If anyone found out what he was about to arrange, we’d both be in trouble...and rather unpopular with both Bajor and Starfleet. 

--

Weyoun and his guards were under strict security observation while they were on the station, but I managed to convince Odo to allow me a minute with him after his talk with the Captain.

“Just one minute. No more,” he’d growled. He knew I liked the Vorta, and he trusted me enough to know that I wouldn’t do something like betraying the Federation. This might very well be the last time we saw each other if one of us was killed in the attack. I suspect that fact was the only reason Odo caved in the first place.

The Security Chief arranged for a brief detour into one of the cargo bays near his ship where I was waiting for the Vorta’s arrival. The Jem’Hadar were told to remain outside the room. As for the Starfleet security personnel, Odo took their place for the duration of the detour. Weyoun entered the room hesitantly, but when he saw me, his wariness dissipated enough for him to hurry over and meet me. I grasped the front of his asymmetrical vest and pulled him into a kiss that was half joy at seeing him again and half savoring the moment in case we didn’t have another.

“I was afraid I wouldn’t see you again, my darling,” he admitted when we broke apart for air. He cupped my cheeks and rested his forehead against mine as a wave of affection and fear brushed against my own. That part of our connection wasn’t gone, then. He must have realized at the same time because his breath hitched quietly in his throat. Weyoun’s voice came out rough with emotion when he finally spoke again. “We most likely don’t have much time, but I need you to promise me something. Promise me you’ll leave the station.”

“What?” I couldn’t hide my surprise, but he silenced me with another small peck on the lips.

“I need you to leave the station. You won’t be safe if you stay, and I can’t lose you. I can’t. It would kill me,” he admitted looking into my eyes with those big, purple irises. I placed my hands softly over his and gave him a rueful smile.

“I can’t leave the station any more than you can stay out of the attack. You’ll be in danger too when you’re on your ship,” I said, but before he could protest, I covered his lips with one of my fingers. “I can, however, promise you that I will do everything in my power to stay as safe as possible during the attack. I’d like you to do the same.”

“You have my word,” he murmured, and I felt a small bit of relief washing up against my own as he caught my lips in a tender kiss - one that might be our last. “In case I don’t have another chance, I...I want you to know that I-I...”

He trailed off, unable to find the right words, instead pressing one of my hands against his chest where his heart presumably was and giving me a pleading sort of look. I reached out through that connection we shared and let myself bask for a short moment in the emotion I found there as I made sure to show that I felt the same.

“I know. The feeling is mutual,” I muttered in a broken voice, drawing him into a tight hug. He held me desperately as if I might disintegrate right there. Perhaps I would. The thought of this being our last moment together made me feel as though a mild breeze would knock me to the ground. The doors to the cargo bay hissed open and Odo met my gaze.

“It’s time,” he rasped, and I pulled back just far enough to kiss Weyoun briefly one last time.

“Be safe,” I whispered, and as he grasped my hands one last time in acknowledgment, he pressed something metallic into my palm. With a tearful look, he turned and walked toward the cargo bay door. Pausing and turning to face me one last time, the thought crossed my mind that he looked like a kicked puppy when he finally followed his Jem’Hadar back toward their ship. Odo waved their Starfleet security detail back into position, then came into the cargo bay where I was still standing frozen in place.

“You have a lot of explaining to do, so I think you’d better start from the beginning, Lieutenant,” he said leaning against a large container and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’d suggest you tell me what happened on your pilgrimage to our homeworld.”

--

It was Captain Sisko’s considered opinion that we would be facing war as soon as Weyoun could return to Cardassia and raise their fleet. Sure enough, within a day, General Martok was in place to help defend the Defiant as she finished placing the mines. The Bajoran ministers and Starfleet had both approved my temporary assignment to Major Kira’s command, with the strict understanding that they could not guarantee my safety for the duration of my mission. If the Dominion was to discover my real mission, they couldn’t acknowledge my involvement, so I’d be on my own. I accepted that condition - I’d expected it from the beginning if I was honest. Bajor needed to protect its citizens first and foremost. That’s why Captain Sisko had urged them to accept the non-aggression treaty that the Dominion had offered them, after all. Bajor had to be kept out of the fighting if it was going to survive.

As we prepared for the battle, all Bajoran citizens were ordered back to Bajor, including the militia officers and excluding Major Kira, Odo, and myself. We were to remain and welcome the Dominion onto the station should it be taken - which was seeming like a very real possibility. Starfleet wasn’t going to be sending us any reinforcements.

We were about to become sitting ducks in the path of a raging inferno.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Major Kira’s voice was quiet beside me as I straightened my new uniform. It felt a bit tighter than the standard-issue Starfleet uniforms, but I’d get used to it. I had no choice. “There’s still time to leave with Captain Sisko.”

“No. No, this is something I have to do. I can be of use here, both for the Federation and Bajor. Being half-Changeling means the Jem’Hadar and Vorta won’t harm me - that they may even listen to me. If I can make even a bit of difference in Bajor’s favor, then this is worth it,” I said turning to her. She stood a little straighter and gave me a solemn sort of smile as she pinned my new Bajoran rank insignia on my collar. I was still the rank of Lieutenant, even if that meant something slightly different in the Bajoran Militia than it did in Starfleet. “Thank you for trusting me with this....for taking my proposition to the ministers.”

“Don’t thank me yet. It’s a good idea, but it’s also a damned dangerous one. Dukat knows who you are and so does that Vorta, Weyoun. You’ll have to pull off one hell of an acting job to make it look as though you really wanted this transfer for benign reasons,” she said, and I nodded my head in agreement. Kira was right. This might be a foolish idea, but I had to try. My people had already done so many things wrong. I had to at least try and make some sort of a difference. “Here you go. Your new combadge.”

I pinned it to my right side as the other Bajoran officers did and thanked her quietly. The Major stepped back and let her eyes skim up and down the length of my body.

“Welcome to the Bajoran Militia, Lieutenant,” she said as the red alert sirens began blaring. “Sounds like our visitors are arriving. Let’s go.”

As we made our way to Ops, I felt the cool metal of the pendant beneath my uniform pressing against my skin. That’s what the metallic object that Weyoun had given me had turned out to be: a smooth, little, rectangular pendant about half a centimeter thick with something etched in its silvery surface that I couldn’t make out. It had a hole through the top just big enough for me to thread a chain through, so that’s precisely what I’d done. I had no idea what it was for or what it meant, but I wanted to keep it on me during this long-awaited conflict just in case.

“Captain, as a Major in the Bajoran Militia, I must officially protest Starfleet's refusal to turn over this station to my government,” Major Kira called as we stepped out of the lift into Ops and strode down toward the central station.

“Your protest is duly noted,” Captain Sisko stated before allowing his gaze to shift to me. After serving under him for so long, I could see the resignation in his expression as he took in my change of uniform. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a fatherly smile reminiscent of the ones he so often gave his son. Swallowing back the tears that threatened to well up in my eyes, I gave him a respectful nod.

“Good. Now that that's over with, Kira Nerys reporting for duty,” the Major said standing tall, and I lifted my own chin in pride. We weren’t going down without a fight, that was for damn sure. Vaguely on the edge of my consciousness, I could feel Weyoun - his ship must be getting close to the station. Mentally, I braced myself and tried to block out that part of my awareness. My job was aiding in the defense of the station while Martok’s ship defended the Defiant. I got to my station and helped bolster the shields. Worf needed every second he could get to maintain the station’s defenses. In several long minutes, Dax contacted the station. By that time I’d fallen into a pattern of work that completely removed me from my worries about Weyoun’s safety and about the future of Bajor. All I knew were exact percentages of shields all over the station and exactly what relays were holding us together.

“We’ve set the last mines,” she called, and everyone in Ops released a collective sigh of relief. That was part one of this plan completed.

“Activate the field and return to the station,” Sisko ordered, and when Dax acknowledged, we turned our attention to the Dominion fleet surrounding the station.

“The Dominion fleet is regrouping, and I'm detecting another wave of enemy ships entering Bajoran space,” Major Kira called, and as my eyes met the Captain’s we both knew what was happening here. The station was lost.

“What are your orders, Captain?” Worf called from his position.

“We've done all we can here. Notify all remaining Starfleet personnel. We're evacuating the station,” he called, and with a heavy heart, we put out the evacuation order. Moments later, the station residents were gathered on the Promenade. All Starfleet officers were on either Martok’s ship or the Defiant, except the Captain who stood to address the crowd. I could barely process the words he was saying before he was beaming to the Defiant and leaving. Looking to my side, I saw Major Kira looking as shell-shocked as I felt.

He was gone. This was really happening. Starfleet had really abandoned Deep Space Nine. Blinking hard a few times, Kira gestured for me and Odo to come with her to Ops. Time for the last bit of the plan. A final message was sent from the comm panel welcoming the Dominion to the Bajoran station, and Kira took a deep breath.

“Computer, initiate program Sisko One Nine Seven,” she called and all the panels in Ops began to self-destruct. Explosions and electricity arced from one display to the next until Ops was nothing more than a smoking mess of destroyed parts. “Dukat wanted the station back, he can have it.“

With a last look around, we went to greet our...was ‘guests’ the right word for an approaching occupation force? Probably not.

--

Minutes later as I strode down the Promenade beside Major Kira, Odo, and Quark, we saw the Jem’Hadar, Dukat, and Weyoun all come out of their docking airlock. The reactions to our presence were many and varied. Dukat looked arrogant in the face of his temporary victory - I had to view it as temporary, or I’d lose confidence in my own choice to remain here - and when his eyes skimmed the four of us and landed on me, he gave a dark smirk. Oh, that I didn’t like one single bit. The Jem’Hadar all looked ready to murder us should we step out of line, and Weyoun...oh, Weyoun. He looked like his usual polite self, but when his eyes landed on me, I saw several emotions flit across his features before he could stop himself: surprise, happiness, concern...No doubt he wondered what the hell I was still doing here. Kira cleared her throat and began to speak.

“Gentlemen, on behalf of the Bajoran government–”

“And the Promenade Merchants' Association!” Quark interjected.

“–I officially welcome you to Deep Space Nine,” Kira finished, and Dukat gave her an evil grin.

“You mean Terok Nor, don't you?” He asked, but before either party could speak further, Weyoun stepped forward and gave a little half-bow.

“Founders, we're honored by your decision to remain with us,” he said looking between Odo and myself, allowing his gaze to linger on me somewhat longer than the security chief.

“I'm not here as a Founder. I'm the station's Chief of Security,” Odo said, and Weyoun gave a respectful nod of his head.

“And you? What is a Federation officer doing here?” Dukat asked stepping uncomfortably close to me. I met his gaze with confidence despite the sound of the Jem’Hadar warriors training their weapons on me.

“I’m no longer a Federation officer. I’ve been granted Bajoran citizenship and the rank of Lieutenant in the Bajoran Militia,” I answered with a smile so polite and deadly that it would rival even one of Weyoun’s. The Cardassian walked a slow circle around me, letting his gaze rove shamelessly over the length of my body.

“Well...the uniform is certainly an improvement. It looks much...tighter than the stuffy Federation rags you wore before,” he murmured near my ear before walking back toward the waiting Jem’Hadar. With a barely concealed glare at Dukat, Weyoun ordered them to lower their weapons, and they did so while eyeing me suspiciously.

“No matter your reasons for staying, having two gods walk amongst us is most gratifying,” Weyoun said trying to smooth over the Cardassian’s crude remarks.

“Well, Odo...you, me, the Major...together again. It should be most interesting. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my office,” Dukat said beginning to lead his entourage toward Ops. I caught Weyoun’s gaze. He came briefly to my side and I managed to murmur quietly to him.

“We need to talk when you’re free,” I said, and he gave me a warm smile as he nodded in agreement. The two of them walked away with the soldiers, and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. The four of us looked at each other, and Odo huffed a quiet sigh.

“I think you’d better be careful around Dukat. He’ll be looking for any sort of excuse to throw you in the brig or worse,” he advised, and I nodded my head in acknowledgment. “Come to me if you need anything.”

“I will. I promise,” I said quietly.

“Right, let’s get to work with this transition. Lieutenant, you’re with me,” the Major ordered, and I followed her obediently.

--

That night when my duties were completed, I returned to my quarters, trying not to think too much about the change of administration aboard the station. I could only imagine how the Bajorans felt. Not only had they lost the Federation’s protection, they’d also lost their Emissary. The Captain may have only recently accepted his role as a Bajoran spiritual figure, but I knew they held him in high regard. I felt a bit lost without his leadership as well, and it had only been a few hours since his departure from the station.

No. No, I’d assured him I could do this. Captain Sisko trusted that I could carry out this mission - he believed in me. I couldn’t let him down. I wouldn’t.

I was startled out of my contemplative state by my door chime. Who in the world could be visiting me at a time like this?

“Who is it?” I called as I stood near a panel in which I’d hidden a phaser. Nobody would catch me unawares, Dominion occupation or not.

“It’s Weyoun,” a familiar voice called, and I mentally took a deep breath moving away from the panel as I called for him to enter. He must have been able to feel the tension ebb away as he stepped into view. As soon as the door to my quarters hissed closed behind him, Weyoun strode quickly to me, pulled me against him, and caught my lips in a kiss that conveyed so much more than I’d expected. Concern, pride, love, and some sort of resignation about my decision all intermingled.

“Wonderful, lovely, foolish girl. What am I going to do with you?” Weyoun’s hands slid slowly down the sides of my face and he nuzzled my nose softly. “I felt your presence when we boarded the station, but I thought I was mistaken. Far be it from me to question your decisions, but why have you remained here? Please do not misunderstand me, I’m overjoyed to see you, but...my dear, you are in danger every moment that you’re here. Dukat and his men are treacherous and would like nothing more than to make an example of you, should you give him reason. He doesn’t see you for what you truly are. He only knows you as a Federation officer who vexes him and continually refuses his advances.”

Weyoun held my hands softly in his as he spoke, and his eyes searched mine for some sort of answer.

“Why would you risk yourself like that? The Jem’Hadar would never harm you, and neither would I, of course, but the Cardassians–”

Placing one hand on his chest, I shushed him quietly.

“I stayed because I can do more good here than I could on the Defiant, but we can discuss that later,” I answered honestly - a risk, to be sure, but one I felt confident enough to take. “It’s good to see you too, Weyoun. You seem well. The slightly battle-ruffled look suits you.”

I gave him a playful little wink, and his cheeks flamed a beautiful purple shade even as he gave me a bashful grin.

“You flatter me, Lieutenant,” he muttered placing one of his hands over mine on his chest. “You know, Dukat may be a crude, tactless fool, but he was correct about one thing: no matter your reason for wearing it, the Bajoran uniform looks lovely on you.”

Weyoun’s quiet words and gentle smile made me blush this time. Averting my gaze, I started to stammer out a protest, but he never let me finish. The Vorta’s lips met mine silencing me and reducing me to a melty, flustered mess in his embrace. His arms wrapped around me just as his emotions did.

My heart stuttered. I’d never get used to feeling this surrounded, this engulfed and protected and loved. When we finally parted for air, his forehead rested against mine.

“What were you thinking? As many of me can be activated as are needed, but you...you are irreplaceable. If I’d lost you–” He broke off abruptly when his voice cracked, choosing to hold me a little tighter instead of finishing his thought. There was no need to. I understood what he meant perfectly, even if he couldn’t put it into words. I could feel it in every fiber of my being as acutely as he could.

“You won’t lose me. No matter the cost, I’ll always find my way back to you,” I promised echoing his words from several months before. He’d meant it back then, and I certainly meant it now. I’d failed to protect him once, I’d succeeded once, and I had sworn to myself I’d never fail to again. No matter what the universe threw at us, I was determined to keep this sweet man safe. He deserved that much - well, actually, he deserved a hell of a lot more, but I’d start with protecting him and giving him the love he so desperately needed. “Do you...? Have you chosen quarters yet? If not, you could...you could stay here if you want...”

Weyoun pulled back just far enough to look at me.

“You mean...live here? With you?” He asked, and for a moment I thought I’d made a grave error. After all, why would the new head of the station want to stay with a lowly Lieutenant?

“I-It was just a suggestion. I completely understand if you don’t find the idea appealing,” I said trying not to sound as anxious as I felt. Averting my gaze with a nervous smile, I felt my breath hitch when Weyoun cupped my cheek and coaxed me into looking at him again.

“My dear, how could I ever find the idea of being around you unappealing?” He asked with a soft, gentle smile on his lips. “As long as my being here isn’t an imposition, I’d be honored to stay with you.”

Without a verbal answer, I grasped Weyoun’s hands lightly and began to lead him to my bedroom. Coaxing him into sitting on the side of the bed, I stepped gently between his legs as his hands rested lightly on my hips. Tracing the tips of my fingers down the front of his asymmetrical vest, I gave him a little smile.

“We’ve both had a long, stressful day. Would you like me to help you undress?” At my suggestion, the Vorta’s eyes went even wider than usual.

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to do something so menial. Whether you want me to think of you that way or not, the fact remains that you are a Founder. For you to undress me would be degrading for you,” Weyoun protested looking slightly horrified by the prospect, despite the intrigue I could feel through our link.

“If you don’t want me to, that’s entirely your decision and I’ll respect it. For context, though, humans and many other Alpha Quadrant species consider things like undressing each other to be a form of intimacy - even sensuality in the right set of circumstances. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” I explained placing a soft kiss on his forehead and taking a step back to give him some space. “I don’t know if you brought clothing with you, but if you didn’t and you want something to sleep in, I have a few oversized shirts that might fit you. You’re more than welcome to use whatever you like.”

“Thank you.” Weyoun’s words came out as barely more than a breath even as his fingers closed over mine. “Perhaps...for now, just the sleep clothes?”

Nodding my head, I went to retrieve a few things for him to choose from.

“I’m fairly certain at least one of these shirts should fit you, but you might have to make do with whatever you’re wearing beneath those stylish slacks of yours,” I said laying a few things out on the bed beside him. “I’ll give you some privacy to get changed.”

A few minutes later, I returned to the bedroom in my own pajamas to find Weyoun in my soft, light blue shirt and what looked like a pair of dark purple boxers. The shirt was normally a couple of sizes too large for me, but it looked as though it fit him a little better. I leaned against the door frame and admired him silently for a bit before he noticed me.

“What do you think?” He asked holding his arms out at his sides. Putting on a faux-pensive expression, I strode slowly over to the Vorta and stopped only inches away.

“I think you look much better in my clothes than I do,” I said as a smile split my lips and a purple blush floated up his cheeks all the way to the outer edges of his ears. Weyoun’s eyes skimmed down the column of my neck and paused there.

“Y-You kept it?” Confusion knitted my brow until I realized he was referring to the pendant. Tracing the length of the chain I’d hung it on with the tips of my fingers, I nodded my head.

“Of course I did. The man I love gave it to me hours before we...b-before...” I trailed off unable to voice the reality of what had almost happened. My eyes dropped to the carpet as the what-ifs began to cement themselves in my mind. If things had gone any worse...if the station’s shields had been breached too early or if the ship he’d been on had been any less sturdy than it was...

A murmur of my name and hands on my shoulders drew me out of my spiraling thoughts and back to the here and now.

Back to Weyoun who was looking at me with those vibrant eyes saturated with concern.

“We survived. We’re safe.” The promise flowed so easily from his tongue that I let myself believe it, even if only for this one night. In the aftermath of such chaos, I allowed myself to be pulled gently into the bed and subsequently into my lover’s arms. Just this once, I’d allow myself to savor the feeling of Weyoun’s arms around me as I nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Just this once, I let myself revel in the sensation of soft lips on my forehead and warm breath caressing my skin as Weyoun’s emotions mixed with mine and he whispered to me. “I love you, my little goddess. Nothing will take me from you.”

Just this once, I didn’t argue his choice of words regarding my heritage as a Changeling. We’d each been terrified over the other’s safety today. Let him take comfort where he chose. He deserved that much. We both did. Just this once. Shoving everything aside except the fact that Weyoun was in my arms and the quiet beating of his heart beneath my palm, I let myself take deep, slow breaths as I began to drift to sleep.

“I love you too, W’youn,” was all I managed before I surrendered to slumber in the arms of a man who should be nothing more than my enemy.

#deepspacedukat fic #weyoun 5 #weyoun 5 x reader #spoilers for S5E26 Call To Arms #emotions #fluff #suffer with me

[merlinband-archive]

70s Invasion: Merlin Reviews & Fan Accounts

Page updated as of January 27, 2010. Fan accounts are dated as April 2006 and January 2010. Album review & information is undated.

Text and website screenshots are preserved below in case the link goes dead.

MERLIN photo from their lp

( scroll over to see more of the band ) > > >

updated as of Jan 27th '2010

recieved a writeup on MERLIN sent in by a music fan making some corrections to our reviews on Merlin here, we posted it below the other writeup sent in in 2006,

MERLIN

GREAT lp this band put out in '74, lots of variety and allthough it's along the lines of SLADE, and SWEET, the 1st 3 songs are different from the rest of the lp......

'SPACE RAIDER'

offbeat synth rocker , sci-fi prog element up front, listening closely it reminded us of the same beat of DEVO's 'SPEED RACER' that came out yrs later in '82, for a few seconds u can hear the background singers in MERLIN going 'ha, ha, ha , ha'.....very similiar to DEVO's 'PEEK-A-BOO' from that same lp.......i wonder if DEVO ever heard this song cause listening at first you'll notice this, however the band were not at all like DEVO in any way we just wanted to make this apparent....some lyrics; 'I SAID I MADE TRACKS IN HIS FACE, NEEDED SPACE TO FILL A HOLE I HOPED THAT I WOULD, FIND A PLACE, A PLACE TO CALL MY HOME'

' TAKING PART '

again this too is different from the rest of the lp, sounds like a cross between the MOODY BLUES and RUSH...guitar melody begins ' LIKE A CEASAR BALL, BUT THEY SEEM MORE HERE THAN ME, FOR ALL THE WORLD AND ALL IT's UNEXPECTED COMPANY', and 'TAKING PART, TAKING PART OF THE UNIVERSE, MAKE A START , AS TIME GETS CLOSE TO US, WE RUN OUT OF SIGHT......

'GETTING INVOLVED'

this one is gentle folk-pysch similiar to what maybe PINK FLOYD did in the late 60's.........'WERE GETTING INVOLVED LIKE A MYSTREY UNSOLVED , HOW'D YOU THINK IT WOULD END, BUT QUITE OF THE TIME I BEEN SEEING THE SIGNS, YOUR MORE TO ME THAN JUST A FRIEND

'GYPSY'

GOOD strong hard glam number, along the lines of SLADE or GEORDIE, they're trying for the 'so bad it's good sound'........elec guitar solo in the middle.....' I NEVER KNOWN A CHICK LIKE THIS SHE GOES WILD FOR JUST 1 KISS, NEVER KNOWN YOUR KIND BEFORE WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE SHE WANTS MORE, MORE, MORE, GYPSY, GYPSY WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO' ?

' HE THINKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME'

SLADE-like good time pop rock........unique synths..kinda has the beat from the GRATEFUL DEAD's 'ROLL AWAY THE DOOB'...some lyrics -..'HE NEVER REALLY GOT OVER U, YOUR MEMORY STAYS ON HIS MIND, HE SAID HE'D LIKE TO SEE U JUST WON'T COME AROUND', and ' HE THINKS ABOUT U ALL THE TIME, CAUSE HE's STILL A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE'....

'LOOK AT LIFE'

GREAT BALLAD ! this lps very BEST number !!.....begins with a slow piano into a pure SPARKS pop song or to be more precise they sound a lot like MR. BIG ( see below).....'I STEPPED OUTSIDE AND A WHITE LIGHT HIT ME ON A CLEAR LOS ANGELES DAY'...and .....'WHAT A FUNNY WAY TO FALL IN LOVE'....and 'ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT NOTHING MORE THAN A SMILE COULD CHANGE THE WORLD' ??? ends with guitar wailing, this song itself is enough to buy the lp, but side 2 has many other GREAT ones too......but about this song ya know after hearing it a lot or a few yrs later in our case it reminded us of a funny kinda pop number, a really beautiful pop number with a funny guitar riff that they pick up on and carry all the way to the end and the singer is asking you to look i mean really LOOK at life.......this song is so good is could have shoulda been at the top of one of those K-TEL or Ronco 70s pop compilations......the band did have some other single releases we've been told but one wonders if they ever topped this song ?

'MARLINA'

GREAT opener ! SWEET-like rock, u notice that after the beginning vocal intro of ' HOLD MY HAND WHILE WE'LL REACH THE SKY, DON'T LET GO WHILE YOUR FEELING HIGH'......bass chugs along just like one of SWEET's classics, elsewhere they sing 'DEEP BLUE HAIRDO', and 'TAKE ME AND SHOW ME WHERE U ARE'.......

'SWEET CHEATIN' RITA'

'SHE's MY SWEET CHEATIN RITA, AND I KNOW HOW MUCH U NEED HER, MY CHEATIN' RITA' ! ........thats right the ALVIN STARDUST glitter classic is covered here surprisingly, and they do a GREAT job too !....( to see reviews of ALVIN's lps, see page 5 )......we were later told that MERLIN did the original and Alvin covered it the next year in '75....

'ALLRIGHT'

GOOD NODDY HOLDER imiatation on this number with elec guitar and elec piano, campy sounds abound........ 'ALLRIGHT YOUR DADDY DON'T MIND, YOUR MOTHER DON'T MIND, YOUR SISTER DON'T MIND, ......ALLRIGHT YOUR TEACHER DON'T DIG, YOUR PREACHER DON'T DIG', and 'ARE U READY FOR ME AND MY BIG BIRD, SHOOT EM' UP' !........plus horns in the middle along with car racing sounds, in '74 u oculd find camp on almost any glam lp...

'LET ME PUT MY SPELL ON U'

...melodic glam pop rock similiar to SLADE.......'CAN'T U FEEL THE MAGIC VIBES ELCTRIC FIRE', and ONE LITTLE SPARK LEADS TO A FIRE, COME ON COME ON U KNOW U CAN TAKE ME, LET ME PUT MY SPELL ON U .......

'WILD CAT'

....the band has a GREAT closer, solid beat, EXCELLENT STONES-like guitar work ,SLADE sound however more like T.REX glam rock style...... 'HEY BABY DRESSED IN BLACK, COME ON WILD CAT AND SCRATCH MY BACK, OVER HERE AND LET ME LOVE U', and 'CAUSE IT AIN'T RIGHT LETTING U GO'.....( fades)

WRITEUP on Merlin sent in early April '06....

Merlin included vocalist Alan Love, guitarist Jamie Moses, keyboard player Bob Webb, bassist Paul Taylor, and drummer Dave Whitwhick.

Merlin arose from a band called Madrigal in late 1973. Madrigal had been on the scene since 1967, but only drummer Dave Whitwhick remained from the original lineup. Jamie Moses and Bob Webb joined Madrigal in 1973,and singer Alan Love joined soon afterward (he was previously with the psych band Opal Butterfly).

( see page 2 for reviews of Opal Butterfly )

With mostly new members a name change was in order, so on the way to a gig Webb came up with the name Merlin.

Merlin released a self-titled album on CBS in 1974 (UK CBS 80338). The group released a handful of singles, with two reaching the top twenty:

Put My Spell On You / Just Another Fish On My Hook (UK CBS 2146) Alright / Pictures In My Mind (UK CBS 2421) Wild Cat / Only Half a Man (UK CBS 2790) What a Funny Way To Fall In Love / Rock and Roll Express (UK CBS 3021)

NOTE: There were several Merlins around at the same time, so any other Merlin singles you might see are by different bands (I've confirmed this with Jamie Moses). The first three singles are taken from the LP, but have non-LP B sides. The fourth single is non LP and is rare as hell - the A side is lame, but the B side - Rock and Roll Express - is a KILLER glam track.

Merlin supported David Essex on an extensive tour in 1974, with Gary Strange (ex-March Hare) replacing Paul Taylor on bass. The group disbanded not long afterward.

Jamie Moses and Bob Webb would go on to join Royce, a band that featuring singer Nigel Benjamin just before he joined Mott.

Jamie Moses is now a member of the Brian May Band, and is currently touring as second guitarist on the Paul Rodgers and Queen tour.

Justin Purington

2nd writeup on the band sent in Jan 2010 by a fan

Hi, I recently came across your site reviewing the self titled Merlin LP. I thought i'd send across a couple of points for addition. It is stated that Sweet Cheatin Rita was an Alvin Stardust cover. Merlin actually released this a year before Alvin Stardust. Oh and Dave Whitwhick is spelt wrong. I know it is on the LP cover as that but it was actually a miss-print. It should be Dave Wightwick Also, they split on the opening night of the tour where Nigel Benjamin (Mott) was to join Merlin replacing Alan Love. Many thanks for the reviews, is great to see people have an interest. Kind Regards,

Peter

#stories

[pridepages]

Why We Tell the Story: Last Call

I just finished Last Call: A True Story of Love, Lust, and Murder in Queer New York by Elon Green. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

There’s something about a true crime story that raises a sickening fascination in us. Ever since divisive queer icon Truman Capote turned a home invasion into a lurid carnival with his ‘non-fiction novel’ In Cold Blood, thirsty audiences have shaped a controversial genre. When I say ‘true crime,’ you probably have some knee-jerk expectations: sympathetic victims, a lurid (likely gory) act, a high-stakes manhunt fraught with tension, twists, and turns, and at the heart is a criminal who is somehow both larger than life and chillingly unremarkable.

That last element is particularly volatile. As film after book after special is released about these mediocre (usually white) men whose greatest...yikes, dare I say ‘achievement’ (?) in life is stealing other people’s, I’m inclined to agree with the increased outcry from the victims’ families: ENOUGH! Why should a killer’s name be made immortal when the whole point should be to honor, comfort, and bring justice to the victims?

From this standpoint, it may be seen as vindication that the so-called Last Call Killer has faded from memory. Most people are unaware that, in the early 1990s, a serial killer targeting queer men picked up and killed at least four men in New York City, most from the upscale gay piano bars known as The Townhouse and The Five Oaks. The case did end up being solved a decade later. The perpetrator has been convicted and will assuredly die in prison. All this was laid to rest over a decade ago. So why should it be disturbed now?

Enter journalist Elon Green: “I found the story in the October 1994 issue of The Advocate. The case had been cold for a year and the story was asking, Why hasn’t it been solved? And my question was, What is this case, and why haven’t I heard about it? And that’s what sent me down the path--wanting to know more about the victims.”

So began a journey that led Green to craft a narrative around a time and place rather than an atrocity. As Green delved deeper into the events surrounding the case, he “wondered if, in fact, this was my story to tell. Could I do right by the queer community and its history? That’s not for me to say. What I tried to do in this book was let my sources tell me the story.”

Readers coming in expecting a lurid deep-dive into the mind and journey of a killer will leave underwhelmed and disappointed. This is not that story. Last Call is a story about a people, a place, and a period. The people: queer men, their families and friends, law enforcement, activists, and bar regulars. The place: the queer subculture spaces in New York and the surrounding areas. The time: the late ‘70s to early ‘90s, in the height of the AIDS crisis. This portrait is designed to capture not what but WHY. 

So why don’t people know the Last Call Killer among other infamous monikers? Here’s some of Green’s suggestions as to why:

1. To be gay was to be criminal. ‘Morality’ laws meant it was ok to prosecute consensual homosexual activity. Entrapment (cops posing to solicit gay sex) was common. Any subsequent arrest or conviction was an outing, worse--it could end a future (ask anyone whose been convicted of a crime what it means for your future prospects).

2. The AIDS epidemic increased both hate crimes against gay people and a mistrust of law enforcement. Naturally, panic increases backlash on the scapegoats. But what needs to be understood is that at the time it was accepted that “gay men and lesbians have been killed for a long time, and it is just a low priority with the police.”

3. “A commonplace and, quite frankly, sensible fear of being outed made such cases difficult to prosecute and the defenses difficult to pierce.” I can tell you from experience how frustrating it was as a prosecutor to see a key victim witness back out because going forward could cost them too much, but knowing as a legal expert that meant I didn’t have enough evidence to convict a perpetrator. Sometimes, the bad guy gets away because seeking systemic justice just hurts the victim more.

4. The Gay Panic Defense. This is a piece of history makes me want to scream every time I see the meme. Not to be the old jerk yelling at the kids to get off my lawn, but it’s sickening that people have forgotten the real meaning. Gay Panic does not mean being gay and awkward because you have a crush. Gay Panic Defense is a real legal strategy that is being used in courts “against charges of murder and assault that enable perpetrators of anti-queer murders to receive diminished sentences or even avoid punishment entirely by, in effect, blaming the victim.” Here’s how it works: someone can kill you if they know you’re gay by saying that either you ‘came on’ to them which causes them to believe they are in danger, or JUST KNOWING YOU ARE GAY caused them to suffer some kind of mental breakdown. For some perspective: the Gay Panic Defense is legal on the books in several American states in 2023.

Swirl these reasons together, and you get the cocktail for why the Last Call Killer happened: homophobia. Maybe it was internalized, although it’s aggravating to speculate that queer people are to blame for their own distortions. It flirts too closely to homosexuality’s old classifications as mental illness or disorder for comfort. But, most importantly, it was the homophobia of larger society that treated these victims as less important that caused this case to fall away. After all, when bad things happened to gay people, as the dirty, undesirable secret subcommunity, the “response tended to be, What did you do to deserve this?”

Seeing all of this, Green did not set out to document the killings. Unlike so many True Crime stories, there is no imagined ‘reconstruction’ of the events of each slaying. Instead, Green chose to capture “the lives of the victims. I became obsessed with the lives they wanted but couldn’t have.” Capturing the secrecy, the suspicion, the self-medication, and the susceptibility surrounding the victims, Green honors “a generation of men, more or less, for whom it was difficult to be visibly gay. To be visibly whole.”

In the end, the star of the book is not the Last Call Killer. The focus is placed where it belongs: on Peter Anderson, Thomas Mulcahy, Anthony Edward Marrero, Michael Sakara, and all the community around them. As one loved one eulogized: “it is ironic that someone filled with so much love was taken from us in a crime by someone filled with so much hate.”

That’s why we tell the story. Not because we want to glorify the wicked, but because we want to whisper to the innocent, no matter where they are now: we see you. You are not forgotten. You are whole, and worthy of love, exactly as you are.

For the curious, the Townhouse bar remains open to this day: “a bar birthed during one pandemic might just survive another.” It has seen the fall of secrecy, and now proudly advertises itself as an ‘elegant gay men’s club.’ I hope someday to make a pilgrimage to New York and to include it on my itinerary of landmark sites. Not for a lurid thrill, but rather for a sense of pride: to honor the people who lived, loved, and drank here.

From one queer to others, across the distance of space and time, I raise my glass in your honor and in your memory.

#last call #elon green #mlm #gay #true crime #last call killer #lgbt reads #queer lit

[tmisaccidentreportbook]

MAG027, A Sturdy Lock

Case #0032408, Paul MacKenzie Release date: July 6, 2016 First listen: Somewhere between the 20th October and the 5th November. I think it was the walk home.

Well, I’m writing this in a state of physical and mental exhaustion, I may still be bleeding and the my scolded hand has about stopped stinging. LET’S GO! 

The Spiral would be so proud…

- Speaking of which, this is our second ever statement attributed to The Spiral and it comes hot on the heels of the first. We see two major features of The Spiral back to back; distortions in glass and mirrors, and doors. Doors that are there that ought not to be, doors that don’t behave as they should.

- ‘…repeated nocturnal intrusions into his home.’ I’m going to sound like a broken record but, once again, this encounter is within the home and damages the psychological and physical safety offered to one by one’s home. I mean, OK, a lot of people spend the vast majority of their time at home. Or at work. So a lot of these statements are going to either occur in a situation where someone has to be there, doing the thing because ‘survival under capitalism’ or in a place where there ought to be peace and sanctuary that gets invaded. Odds are it will be one of the two, kid, you didn’t discover anything groundbreaking. It’s just when you started listening to this show the first time round, you’d only just gotten out of a bad living situation and you were still in a bad working situation that was about to get a whole lot worse. Chill.

- ‘It’s strange to live alone.’ Is living alone currently and has been for maybe 9months now Heck, I forgot about that. I was lucky, eeeeerm, enough to not be living alone during lock down, though in hindsight, I would have been significantly better off if I had been and by this stage of 2020 I was living somewhere else with a lovely family who were friendly but also knew they were taking on a lodger that vaguely resembled a cat in need of rehabilitation. So they were very, very good about including me but also reading when I needed my space. But I worked through lock down, I work in animal husbandry and we needed to look after our charges. Thankfully spring and summer meant we could distance easily and still meet up for meals and be safe. But there’s a hell of a lot of work to do on a site that typically has a work force of +150 people plus volunteers going down to 7. But I don’t think any of us came through lock down unchanged. I think I’ve become sharper, not in the cruel way, I just seem to have more edge to me then I used to. I think the extended period of being alone meant that I wasn’t performing for folks as much as I had been in my life before. And when I didn’t need to hide the teeth, I realised I had them.

- We see it again, an Entity swooping in during a time of loss and grief. As well as the grief and the stress of ‘her condition’ towards the end, the fact that this man has lost the love of his life and his world has irrevocably changed for the first time in 40 years could certainly be a source of fear and uncertainty, along with everything else.

- Noises in the house at night is something, thankfully, that doesn’t bother me. Partly, because there’s a part of me that’s already made peace with death and at least I’d be going under my own duvet, but also I can be a very heavy sleep if the mood takes me. I went to boarding school through secondary, I learnt to sleep through a lot. I also was doing way to much and routinely pulled all nighters so when I did get to sleep, I was typically out like a light.

- Part of me wants to look up statistics of home invasions and burglaries in the UK and look at the age demographics for the victims, but I also don’t know where Mr MacKenzie lives. Also, I can get behind blissful ignorance as a concept.

- The fact that he’s not shying away from the use of the word ‘paranoid’ is telling me that there is a part of him that thinks what he’s experiencing could be illogical, and I’m trying to word this carefully because I know paranoia is something very real that people struggle with. It’s a discussion of mental health that I am not qualified to weigh in on, but part of me wonders that is Mr MacKenzie had not been experiencing such an elevated state of nervousness, if he would have attracted the attention of The Spiral at all.

- ‘I could feel their presence waiting on the landing.’ Can I just get a reading from the room; do other people get this? Does anyone else sometimes become aware of someone’s presence that they are unable to see or hear? I had a quick search to see if there was a word of any scientific or evolutionary reasoning to the phenomena, but all I could find was things that would serve me more at a séance than a study lab. I’m too tired to do a proper research dive so I’m going to chalk it up to residual animal instincts and awareness and wait for someone to correct me.

- Mr MacKenzie has been living in the same house for 40 years. I never moved house as a kid, I lived my life in one old converted barn. Every step on the stairs creaked but I learnt which ones really screamed, I knew how to get the sliding door to cooperate, I knew how to get the boiler to stop grumbling. It’s amazing what little foibles a place can have and how you learn to read them.

- The speed that this encounter takes place feeds into the dread of the situation. The slow walk across the landing, the slow turning of the door handle. It brings to mind the word ‘stalking’.

- I wonder if there was any significance to the battle over the door knob lasting twenty minutes?

- The blood on the hands after being on the door handle for the night. Mr MacKenzie describes feeling his hands ‘grow wet’. There’s no sudden pain of a cut and door handle itself was clean. Now the presence of blood on the hands may just be a supernatural thing, a sinister marvel to add to the dread, I once saw a case of a bird that was so terribly bruised, she was bleeding through her skin. I shudder to think what sort of pressure would be needed to recreate that on a human hand, if the presence of blood was in anyway had a mundane cause.

- The police have been mentioned in a few statements now, either in the immediate aftermath or in prolonged investigations but I think this may be the most involved we’ve seen them with an occurrence. In every instance we’ve encountered them, I can say I’ve been… overly impressed by their performance.

- Now 2003, maybe there aren’t the smartphones or the cameras that would have made gathering evidence of the second night’s visitation easier, but you’d think the dispatcher might have heard the ‘rattling and banging’ of the door down the line.

- I don’t think I’ll live to see retirement honestly, I think my generation and everyone after us will be lucky to, but I think I can understand the fear of being sent into a retirement home against your wishes. The loss of freedom and autonomy. The loss of privacy. Not being able to live life on your schedule and just… waiting. I think Mr MacKenzie is also experiencing fear of what his place is within his son’s life now too, as he says later, Marcus has his own life to lead. I think he himself is adrift as it might have been that he has been effectively living his life for his wife, especially is her ‘condition’ made her a dependant the later stages of her life.

- ‘…for the last month I have lain awake almost every night.’ The Spiral has got to love sleep deprivation, just one big feedback loop. Genius and also torturous.

- So he does try for footage evidence, but the devices don’t pick up anything. Anything except a face, ‘leering’. We know the Distortion has a strange appearance, too long and too many, but I think 2003 is too early for it to have taken Michael. Maybe this was the face of the Distortion before it took Michael’s?

- I can not tell you how quickly my stomach dropped at the line ‘maybe I should get a dog.’

- ‘I am not entirely made of stone’… Jon cares so much it is debilitating at times but he’s in a position that means he is having to ruthlessly suppress that to seem competent and professional. Jon wants so desperately to help people, but he wasn’t built to be a hero.

- Mr MacKenzie died of a stroke two months after the statement was given. Going by the date of the statement, this started July 2003 and could have been going til October, possibly November 2003. If we say 5 months at the outside. 5 months of acute sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation increases blood pressure, and high blood pressure is considered to be the leading risk factor for strokes. So… yeah, he died of fear.

- We met one of the previous generation of Institute staff member, Sarah Carpenter. I’m fairly certain she’ll be mentioned later in regards to Gertrude’s past missions, but I can’t remember anything key at this point.

- Marcus speaks of ‘already giving his statement’ and if memory serves, it’s another of The Spiral.

- The bedroom door never had a lock… So The Spiral cultivated an environment where Mr MacKenzie was his own jailer, cultivated an environment suitable for inducing long periods of sustained fear.

#The Spiral #MAG027 #the magnus archives

[buckyownsmylife]

I've Told You Now - Lee Bodecker smut

The one where Lee seduced his sister's babysitter.

Warnings: smut, dubcon, age gap, innocence kink, dirty talk, loss of virginity, blood

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: This one is a part of my kinktober celebrations. My original intention for this October was to work exclusively around prompts that my wonderful friend @darkficsyouneveraskedfor created for her challenge and dedicate each story to a different friend. My new plan became then 31 days of different kinks, which expanded on a poly relationship with Stucky, as you might know by now. However, some of the stories I started were already truly loved by me, and so I kept on writing them. It worked well because as it turns out, I am fortunate enough to have more than 31 friends on Tumblr, so here is the story I wrote for @slothspaghettiwrites! You were the biggest reason I fell for Lee and it was only appropriate I wrote you this! I only hope it doesn't disappoint! Special thanks to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog who helped me believe this was good enough to be posted! @sweeterthanthis also has a big hand at this!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I was finishing packing up the toys in the living room when I heard the door slam, startling me into dropping the box of legos on the ground. Looking at the clock, I considered the time before looking back at the hall again. When no one appears from the hallway, I get confused. If the Hendersons hadn’t come home earlier than they intended, who else could it be?

“Waiting for me, bunny?” I immediately straightened out at the sight of Sheriff Bodecker, trying to resist the urge not to flush and keep eye contact, but ultimately failing to do so. I hadn’t seen him since the night he offered to give me a ride home and I ended up with his cock in my throat, his cum in my mouth.

“I-I didn’t even know you were coming.” Silence followed my confession as he slowly approached, eyes never leaving my body while I tried to keep myself up. He’d always had this effect on me. I remembered being a young girl and Sheriff Bodecker being the crush I knew was too old to be mine, the guy I’d never have even in a million years, but that didn’t stop me from daydreaming about him.

If I thought that maybe having him would help this infatuation disappear, it’d become clear by now that it wouldn’t be the case at all.

“And here I was, thinking you wanted me just as much as I wanted you.” The Sheriff tsked, and the sound went straight to my already dampened underwear. I couldn’t process his words very well, given how close he was and how loud my own heartbeat was ringing in my ears. Did he mean to say that he actually really wanted me?

“If that was really the case,” he taunted, circling me like I was some sort of prey. “You’d always be expecting me, wouldn’t you? But it’s alright, honey. You know why?” When I shook my head, he answered his own question, a single finger running down my jaw to guide me to look him in the eye. “Because I think you were expecting me. You’re always expecting me, looking for me wherever you go, just like I do. And there’s an easy way to prove my theory.”

Before I could question it, his arms embraced me from behind, hands slowly running down my stomach until they reached the edge of my skirt. I started sweating in anticipation. I knew what he would find.

“Let me check.” His fingers went over the fabric first, and he chuckled when he noticed how wet it was. “Would you look at that?” I was already trembling when he pulled my panties to the side and ran that same digit over my lower lips, just lightly grazing them. “Soaked already.”

Although I couldn’t see it, the humming sound he emitted after taking his fingers from under my dress didn’t leave me any doubt about what he did with the moisture he collected. Just the thought of him enjoying my taste that much had me weak in the knees, and I tried to keep myself up by reaching for a chair nearby.

Lee’s P.O.V.

I chuckled to myself at how sensitive she was, barely able to keep up with the little I’d done so far. Then again, it was clear I had a particularly strong effect on her. That had been obvious for a while, ever since she started working for my sister, probably - around the same age her womanly features began to stand out.

She seemed unable to look me directly in the eyes, always averting her gaze and biting her lower lip when I decided to stop around here for a coffee or check in on the little rugrat. I began doing this a lot more often after she was hired, but neither her nor my sister seemed to connect the dots.

Her innocence, her beauty just left me so fucking hard. I was hard right then, and I wanted her to know it. So I pressed my body against her back, lightly grinding my member against the curve of her ass.

“I suppose you’re finished for the day,” I speculated, knowing once the kid was out all she had to do was wait for my sister and her husband to arrive. “Guess I can help you unwind…”

She gasped when she felt my hardness, making me chuckle. “Your sister and her husband should be back soon…” She tried to reason, but I wasn’t having any of it.

“We’ll be quiet anyway. Can’t risk waking up the kid.” I gripped her wrist and pulled her on the direction of the guest bedroom, now fully unable to control myself. I was so close to having what I had wanted for so long.

She looked unsure of herself as I closed the door behind us, and I raised an eyebrow in a questioning look. “What’s wrong?” She shifted her weight from one foot to another, fingers playing with the hem of her skirt.

“I-I don’t know about this…” Chuckling, I approached her to cradle her face between my hands and deposit a kiss on those sweet lips.

“Don’t you trust me, pretty girl?” I had caught her now, we both knew it. She’d never risk disappointing or offending me, so when her mouth opened to explain herself and I raised an eyebrow in warning, it was only a matter of seconds until she closed it altogether and nodded, her eyes dropping to her feet.

“Yes, I do.” My smirk was full of victory, and I could taste it in my lips now. It was as sweet as the nectar between her legs I’d only had a taste of.

“There you go.” Approaching her once more, I settled my hands on her hips before leaning to kiss her shoulder. “Besides…” I continued, already bunching up her dress to get rid of it as quickly as possible. “You obviously need me to take care of you and this little wet hole.”

She bucked when my fingers rubbed her this time, dress already forgotten on the floor as I slowly shoved down the fabric of her underwear to join it. Once she was completely naked, I ran my digits over her cunt, verifying that her wetness was already so overwhelming that it was threatening to drip from her.

“So sweet.” I hummed once I wrapped my lips around those digits, tasting her on my tongue again. Yes, I was already obsessed. I think anyone who had the chance to try her nectar would understand my situation - but no one ever would.

She was mine now, and I would never let her go.

“C’mon, bunny.” Patting her ass, I directed her to the bed, chuckling at how embarrassed she seemed, being this exposed to my hungry gaze. “Be a good girl and spread your legs. Be my little angel, won’t you?”

I wished I could have done this somewhere more private - my own house, instead of my sister’s. But I just couldn’t wait anymore. My cock twitched inside my pants. I felt like I was drunk on this, drunk on her.

“C’mon, honey!” I repeated, lightly slapping the outside of her thigh. “I wanna fuck you. And I know you want to be mine, pretty girl. You can’t hide it from me.”

When she finally relented and slowly parted her beautiful legs for me, I nearly melted at the sight. Driven by my desire, I unbuckled my belt and worked to whip my cock out as quickly as possible, smirking at the wide, innocent eyes that settled on my member as I fisted it in preparation.

“Doesn’t it look good?” I teased, climbing on the bed to take my spot between her legs, rubbing the head of my dick against her slit. “I’m gonna have you taste it next time. But for now…”

Resting my forehead against hers, I slowly started to penetrate her tight pussy, slipping only the head at first, even though I was aching to fuck her throughly.

“This is gonna hurt a little,” I warned, not able to stop mid-way to let her adjust but keeping my invasion of her maidenhood slow until I had bottomed out inside of her. “Sh…” I tried to calm her, gently wiping away the few tears running down her soft cheeks. “I know it hurts, bunny. But you can take it, can’t you?”

She managed to nod despite her whimpers, and I brushed her tears away as I warned her, “I’m gonna make you feel so good, honey.”

It took a little while, but at last, she opened her eyes and I waited until she was able to focus them on me again. “You look so pretty, bunny…” I whispered, kissing her while I finally started to move inside of her, stopping only to moan out loud at her overwhelming tightness.

“I’m gonna train you until all you can think about is my cock,” I warned her, slowly pulling out until only the head of my cock was keeping her open.

“I can’t wait any longer.” Slamming my dick all the way in, I felt her nails running down my back, leaving trails of blood behind - trails I wouldn’t mind wearing under my shirt, sting as they might.

“I promise you, honey…” I panted, sweat already dripping from my forehead onto her pretty face. “You’re gonna miss me when I’m not inside of you.”

I kissed her cheek, rubbing my nose against it as she held me tightly against her. “I know you don’t want any of those boys you used to go to school with touching what I’ve already taken.”

She nodded quickly, my pretty little honey. Yes, she was mine already and she knew it. “It’s alright, pretty girl…” I soothed her as she started to whine, her cunt clenching deliciously around me. “It’s alright, cum with me…”

She closed her eyes when she met bliss, but I kept mine wide open so I wouldn’t miss her perfect expression of pleasure. It was almost enough to keep me hard, but I wasn’t as young as I once was.

I never pulled out of her tight heaven, keeping her body snuggled against me. I was happy that I decided to be patient, if it meant I now got to have her like this.

“I hope you know that you’re mine now, bunny.”

#my fics #lee bodecker #lee bodecker smut #lee bodecker reader #smut #lee bodecker reader insert #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker reader inserts

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | Chapter 1-5

summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

A/N: Set between seasons 4 and 6, not following canon. all original crimes based on real-life stories.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

Word Count: 15k

chapter 1

It took Y/N longer than she had hoped to finally catch up to him. He seemed to go from the cute little boy with a bow tie who sat beside her in her kindergarten class to working for the FBI by the time she graduated high school. It wasn’t fair that he happened to be smarter than anyone on earth, causing him to test out of elementary school before she even got to know him.

Spencer Reid had an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the sweetest personality to match. Y/N saw him around as he grew up, coming home to see his mom often and minding his business as he wandered around in his free time.

He liked to sit on the swings at the abandoned park across the street from her house, it was a place he would go to at the most random hours of the day for years on end. Every time he was in the area, he visited the swing. And She’d watch him from her window seat in her bedroom. Pretending to read, but really she was watching him read.

It was years of watching, from the ages of 13 to 18 when he was coming back and forth from working on his second Ph.D., and she was still trying to make it through high school.

But she never walked out there and talked to him, she knew nothing real about him other than his name and that he was smart. The town told rumours about him being an alien or a government experiment because there was no way a kid could be so smart, but she never believed them. She liked to keep to the idea that he was sweet, smart, and special.

He stopped coming to the swing for a while after they turned 18, her mother had said something about Spencer Reid’s mother being admitted to the nursing home she worked at and y/n drew the conclusion that he’d finally left the small Nevada town she was seemingly trapped in.

Y/N kept tabs with him online, as weird as it felt to her she had a strange sense of pride when it came to Spencer’s achievements. That was the kid she sat beside in kindergarten out there working for the FBI, saving lives and changing the world. It inspired her.

So sure enough, when she moved to Virginia to join the FBI academy it was the perfect opportunity to finally be on an even playing field with him. An excuse to reach out to him and catch up, get to know him. She was technically older than him, by 10 months, and yet somehow he seemed to feel unreachable, wiser and more of an adult than she ever would be.

At 28 she finally bumps into him again. She’s carrying boxes into her new apartment with help from a moving company when he leaves the apartment across the hall from her.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer Reid?” she said with the biggest smile spreading across her face.

“Hi?” he says, not having any clue who she is.

“You might not remember me, I’m Y/N Y/L/N we were in kindergarten together in Nevada?”

He takes a moment to think, she watches his eyes flutter as he recalls the memory to his mind. She is mesmerized by how his brain works, like a filing cabinet he can just pull memories out. “Oh, yes we sat together the first day and you got in trouble later that afternoon for adding water to the sand because I had said it was too dry to build a model of the Pyramid of Giza.”

Her smile gets even bigger, “yes! I hope this isn’t weird but I’ve kept up with you over the years, I’ve always thought it was so amazing that someone from my town was off doing incredible things! I can’t believe I’m moving in across from you that makes it look so much worse oh god, I promise I’m not stalking you!” She rambled anxiously.

He laughed, “it’s okay I believe you! I’m surprised honestly that you remember me, we were what? 5? That’s a good memory you must have?”

She walked over to him and out of the way of the men moving her boxes into her apartment, that’s what she was paying them for anyway. She set the box down on the floor beside herself to free her arms, “I think your first ever friend would leave an impact on your memory.”

“We did have a good bond before I was transferred out,” he recalls with a smile.

“Well,” she smiled right back, “I also work with the FBI if you want to get coffee before work on Monday and catch up? See if there’s a possibility of being friends once again?”

“Yeah!” he answers abruptly, “I leave around 7:15 normally and I always go to the little cafe down the road, what department are you in?”

“VICAP,” she said, “just a floor above the BAU, surprised I’m only running into you now”

“You sure you’re not stalking me?” he joked.

She shook her head lightly, her cheeks hurting from smiling so hard. “Promise, just inspired by you, that’s all.”

He chuckled to himself, almost shocked that such a lovely person would be inspired by him. “Well, thank you. I’ll let you get back to moving in and I will see you on Monday Y/N.” he said with a small wave and walked down the corridor.

She sighed to herself, this was going to be amazing.

---

Y/N had barely unpacked anything by the time Monday had rolled around. She spent most of her time working on her bedroom organization, leaving a mess of boxes everywhere else. Going through her closet to find the best outfit for her first-morning commute with Spencer.

Her job didn’t require as much fieldwork as he did, so she could wear anything she wanted to the office as long as it was professional. She settled on black flared dress pants, a nice white turtleneck, the watch her family gave her when she graduated from the academy and her cute healed wedge boots.

She grabbed her purse and wallet, ensuring she had her keys and badge in there before unlocking her safe and clipping her gun to her belt. She grabbed her go bag and coat and draped them over one arm, holding her purse in the other.

With everything she needed, she walked to her front door, turning off her alarm just to change the setting to protect her empty apartment. She closed and locked the door behind herself just as Spencer walked out into the hallway.

“Good morning Spencer,” she said, cheerful as ever.

“You’re awfully cheerful for this time of day,” he yawned after speaking.

“Late night?” she asked, joining him as he walked towards the building entrance.

“We had an emergency case this weekend that kicked my ass, I’ve only been home for 15 hours. Hopefully, today is just a desk day,” he yawned again. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re tired as well, from moving this weekend.”

“Oh I’m exhausted, normally I don’t leave till quarter to 8, living farther away now is going to suck a bit.”

“At least our building is nice,” he adds.

“It seems wonderful so far.” He held the door for her as they walked into the parking lot, he dug her keys from her bag, “do you want to take my car?”

“Sure, seeing as I don’t have a car, I normally take the subway,” he said softly, walking to the passenger side and opening the door as he heard the door unlock.

“Well if you want a ride every morning I don’t mind, even If you need rides to emergency cases,” she smiled softly.

Spencer insisted on buying her coffee, saying it was only fair for driving him. But really it was because he wanted to spoil her, ever since she said she was inspired by him his mind hasn’t been able to stop playing that sentence on loop. He’s completely enamoured by her, willing to do whatever it takes to get on her good graces. Not realizing she’s willing to do the same for him.

In no time she’s pulling up to the main building, both of them showing their badges before being allowed access into the parking structure of their building. Y/N parked close to the main elevator, having impeccable luck with getting that spot in the garage.

“We still have time before we’re officially on the clock, if you wanted to come meet my team?” He offered, hitting the button in the elevator for floor 3. His floor.

“I’d love to meet the legend that is Penelope Garcia,” she smiled.

“She is wonderful,” he agreed with a smile.

The elevator dinged and she felt her heart drop into her stomach thinking of how Spencer was going to introduce her. He walked with her towards the glass doors, holding them open for her as she walked into the bullpen.

All eyes were suddenly on Spencer and Y/N, so many faces she’s never seen before, and 2 she knows too well from her research on the BAU. She smiled lightly as she walked towards them all. Spencer not far behind her.

“Good morning,” Spencer smiled a small pressed-lipped smile. “This is agent Y/N Y/L/N, she works up in VICAP, she was one of my best friends in elementary school.”

She smiled, so that’s how. “Hello!” She waved, “It’s so nice to meet you all,”

“Derek Morgan,” the tall dark and handsome one reached his hand out for yours.

“Oh, I don’t shake hands sorry,” she said, grabbing her right middle finger with her left hand and smiling lightly.

He laughed, “wow pretty boy, how come you never told us you have a twin?”

“Do you not shake hands either?” She asked him, “we really do have a lot of catching up to do Spence.”

“Emily Prentiss, it’s lovely to see Spence bring in new friends.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve always admired the BAU, I’ve actually compiled a few of the cases you’ve worked on this year, I’m pretty good at finding patterns even the system overlooks.”

“Oh yes, Y/N Y/L/N, I’ve seen your name on all the emails, thank you you’ve sent some of the best-connected cases to us, you’ve brought justice to people who we would have never connected to cases,” JJ said enthusiastically, “I was actually just about to tell Hotch about the newest one you sent me.”

“It’s horrible, isn’t it? I’ve been carefully looking over this case for 2 years now I knew you’d all be able to help with it. It’s right up your ally,” she nervously laughed.

“You sent in the files on the family annihilator that was going after people he believed to be decedents of Cain from the bible right?” David Rossi asked.

She nodded her head and sighed, “yeah everyone told me it was a stretch to catch onto but when I noticed all the men were from the same online ancestry family tree I knew you guys needed to see it.”

“That was specifically interesting, the death of his own brother led him to seek revenge on the father of murder,” Spencer agreed.

“So what’s this new one you’ve brought us?” Derek asked.

“Oh, would you like to pitch it to us? We’re all here we can meet you in the briefing room before your shift starts upstairs?” JJ offered.

“Oh sure,” she smiled, finally it was her time to show off.

Soon enough, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia and Jenifer Jareau were all staring at you in the briefing room.

“In Wichita Kansas, there have been a string of murders over the last 6 years that have all been incredibly, creepily similar,” she started explaining as she handed out the case files to everyone.

“Each victim is female, 16 to 24, they’ve all been strangled with rope while completely naked, signs of brutal sexual assault, binding and torture. They’ve all been found wrapped in shower curtains and placed in various public locations. Clearly a sign of remorse with how he keeps them covered but still a taunt that we can’t find him even now that he’s 6 victims deep.”

“Clarise Richardson, victim number 1 was raped, strangled with rope and left by an underpass. She was found in 1998, the M.E said she was dead 16 hours when they found her, COD was asphyxiation. Her family reports she was last seen at least 73 hours before she was found. So he kept her for a while. There were fibres under her nails of green carpet, either she was held at someone's house or in a van with carpet like they had in the 70s and 80s.”

“Were there any fingerprints or DNA on the bodies?” Prentiss asked.

“Yes, there was a sperm sample retrieved on victim number 5, Sharon Flynn. Most likely he wore a condom for the rest of his rapes and he wasn’t in the system already. Either he never ejaculated in earlier rapes before he grew to murder or his victims never came forward before 1998.”

“which is highly likely, we saw in the EARs case in California how hard it was to get the men and women who were raped to even come forward. There were 4 confirmed cases in the news before more came forward with similar stories. It’s seen as a shameful thing when in reality it’s just giving them more power if they believe they’ll never be caught.” Spencer explained.

“Yes, it’s very hard to come forward when it happens to you,” she agreed before quickly hanging subject. “I’ve been searching for any rapes in the area with similar MO, choking, BDSM, ropes, vans with green carpet, and I’ve found 3 women who claimed to be raped by a man at festivals the late 70’s who had an orange van with green carpet who bonded them up in a very intricate form of bondage that tightened every time they squirmed to entice them not to move. And from my research, that's the same pattern of rope as the rope burn on the 6 bodies we have.”

“All 6 of them are fairly similar it’s just their dumpsites that sets them apart. He didn’t have one strict area that he stuck to, he seems to have no problem travelling to them.” Emily said, flipping through the files.

“I’m thinking he has a job the requires him to still use his van. Like a travelling plumber, a phone or computer tech, home surveillance or maybe even he’s with Jehovah's witness or the Mormon church. It would explain him being able to get into these women’s houses and neighbourhoods long enough to pick someone, learn their schedule and grab them.” Y/N explained.

“Garcia, can you look into those businesses, as well as independent contractors, satellite companies, mailmen, and anyone else who might have been on the job by the victim's houses on the dates and times they were last seen,” Hotch asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll also run the DNA samples in my other databases.”

“I was about to ask you to do that, I think he might have children. There is a very large gap between the rapes and the jump to rape and murder, if you could run the saliva sample from victim 3 that's on her neck with any foster system or genealogy company to see if he has a son or uncle we can trace his sample to?”

“That's a great idea, I’ve never thought to do that,” Garcia smiled. “I like you, you’re a smart cookie!”

“Looks like we’re headed to Wichita,” Hotch said. “Do you think VICAP would be mad if we stole you for a few days? You have more connections with the Wichita police than we do, they might cooperate more If they know a friendly face.”

“Absolutely, let me grab my go-bag from upstairs!” Y/N jumped up, “I’ll be right back down!”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch said, And with that, she was out the door.

“Reid if you don’t marry her I will,” Penelope said softly.

“Okay.” He blushed.

—

She took a seat beside Reid on the jet, the two of them chatting amongst themselves for a while before they were called for the second briefing.

“So local PD think they have a recent victim from this weekend they want us to check out,” Penelope said over video chat. “she’s a little different than the others. Katie Newton, 27 was found bound to her bed, already having passed and was being assaulted when her husband came home. He screamed at the guy who was only wearing a ski mask and “tight-y white-y’s” as the husband described. He grabbed his bag and clothes with him but he left her tied up with the little time he had to knock the husband out of the way and run out.”

“Did he get any other identification marks on the unsub?” Y/N asked.

“He said he was pasty white, 5’8 and he didn’t talk. He didn’t scream, nothing, he just grabbed his things and ran. He does however remember he had a very large brown birthmark on his chest covering the right nipple down to his stomach.”

“Okay that’s good to know, why do they think it’s our guy?” Rossi asked.

“Blood found on the rope she was tied up with can match back to 13 different women. 6 of the murders that Y/N brought to us, 1 of the rapes she found and 5 other break-in and rapes of other women in the area.”

“Holy shit,” Y/N whispered to herself.

“Well done on finding this one Y/N, this one is going to be big.” Morgan complimented her with a smile.

“Thanks,” she smiled back, “I didn’t expect any of this when I connected the 6 of them originally. This is insane.”

“have you ever been in fieldwork like this?” Hotch asked.

“At the academy, I was combat trained, I have all my clearances and I’m a great shot. I’m good on my feet and I tested perfectly on hostage talk down.” She tried not to brag but this was almost as important as a job interview.

“Well damn,” Morgan nodded in approval. “We might just have to seal you full time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all!”

“Good,” hotch smiled, something he didn’t do often. “I’m going to send you and Reid to the M.E to see what else we can find out about these new break-in homicides. Prentiss and Rossi, I want you to travel to the last dumpsite and the latest crime scene to see what else could connect them. Morgan and JJ come with me to the station to set up communication with the local PD and media we don’t need them naming him like they did with BTK.”

“Garcia, would you also widen the search for anyone convicted of sexual misconduct, flashing, stalking, break-ins where underwear was stolen or and peeping toms? Go all the way back to the 70s. If any of them are now working for any businesses that have vans and require him to travel. This guy has to have a mistake somewhere that you will find.” Y/N asked one last time.

“Got it, genius girl, over and out.”

—-

The bureau had the funds for rooms for the main team, meaning Y/N had to double up with someone and she had to decide who once they landed and headed to the hotel.

“It wouldn’t be weird if we got a room with two queen beds right?” She asked Spencer, “it would give us a chance to catch up in our downtime like a sleepover we never had as kids.” She nervously rambled in the SUV as Reid drove.

“No I don’t mind, It would be fun if we get any sleep in this case. This one seems like it will be a bit of a brain rattler.” Reid agreed with a soft pressed-lipped smile.

They booked their rooms, dropped off their things and all headed their separate ways. The M.E’s office was close to the police station, the two of you in an SUV followed Hotch, JJ and Morgan in another down the road.

The bodies had all been cremated or buried shortly after being found, there wasn’t anything fresh enough to examine for them but they did have access to all the information on all the cases.

“I’ve been the medical examiner here for the last 30 years,” the nice old man said as he led them down the hall to the storage room. “These ones have all been some of the worst cases I’ve seen here. So much so that I keep them all in their own boxes just in case a day like today ever happens.”

“That is very helpful for us thank you so much!” She smiled at him as he held the storage door open.

“They’re all labelled by name and date. If you have any questions about tests or need me to run more with what we have left just give me a holler!” He said as he left the room.

Y/N sighed. “Why do I feel like this is going to take a million years?”

“I can read 20,000 words a minute, it will take me 3 hours to read everything in this room. Luckily we only need to read these few boxes.” Spencer pointed at the wall.

“Okay boy wonder, stop showing off,” she smiled, taking the Victim # 5 case box down first. “She was the first one I put into the system when I joined VICAP.”

“Is that why you sent this case to JJ?”

“Partly,” she sighed again. “There was the emotional attachment of this being my first case but there were just too many connections I knew you guys could bring justice to her family. She was so young.”

Spencer opened a box and she watched as his eyes darted across the pages as he flipped through them. She was mesmerized by how he could do that. But he was probably even smarter than god so it made sense.

“This is interesting. They found LSD in the system of the 3 rapes from back in the day which isn’t that uncommon for the time period or the places where they were abducted, but what’s strange is the amount. This is enough LSD to make someone go insane, no one in their right mind would willingly take this much LSD?” Spencer said.

“They were all found 2 days later dehydrated and alone in the middle of nowhere, there’s no way of knowing if more women didn’t have this happen and died where he left them.”

“He is probably in his 50’s now. How fit would he have to be to still be able to break into houses and rape and murder women?” Spencer asked.

“Well that might be just why he stopped dumping, he might have a bad back and can't lift the dead weight. He is more willing to get caught in someone's house so that he doesn’t have to do the dumping, he can just leave after. 5 of the 6 home invasions were with women who lived alone or husbands who worked night shifts. So they wouldn’t be home. He watched them long enough to know when he could successfully get away with this.” Y/N explained as she flipped through boxes.

“And the rope technique our last victim was found in is exactly the same as the rope burns as the others you’re correct,” Spencer complimented her. “He might have ex-girlfriends or even an ex-wife who he would have tried BDSM on and she didn’t like it, so now he feels like he has to do it this way. When we deliver the profile we should alarm the public about him to draw out any women who would have willingly tried something with our unsub.”

Y/N nodded as he spoke, agreeing with everything. “That could have even been the original stressor, all the women are pretty vanilla, I talked to the husbands over the phone and the original rape victims. They weren’t into trying anything like this in their free time. 2 of the rapes were also virgins. They all had good jobs and good grades, they were outstanding, low-risk members of the community. He might be getting revenge on the women who wouldn’t indulge in this fantasy.”

“He probably feels a lack of control in his personal life, maybe he even has a more dominating wife who he feels he can't stand up to so this is how he deals with it.” Spencer agreed.

“Let's go see Hotch, I think we should deliver the profile.”

—-

They walked into the police station, gliding through the doors like they owned the place. Emily and JJ watched as they walked over to hotch with the exact same energy. Both speaking with their hands and rambling about what they had found.

“So he’s a fit, early 50’s, white male. Married, probably with kids, works with or owns a van. He has a problem with authority in his own life, he feels like he is in a submissive role all day be it from a female boss who’s always on his ass or his wife. It’s possible he even has only daughters and no sons. He feels emasculated, surrounded by women, which is why he started taking these women originally to rape them with BDSM-like acts to finally have that control he lacks in his everyday life.” Y/N explained. “He wouldn’t be very handsome, he would have issues speaking with most women, he keeps to himself, he might have even failed out of jobs involving the police or security, he wants to be in a place of power but he has none of the social skills to accomplish what he wants. I would even look into local army cadets or boy scouts he could be a very old member or the father of someone in one of those groups. His affinity for binding them up and the types of ropes he used are very common BDSM ropes but the knots are reminiscent of ones my brothers would do in at Navy cadets.”

“You got all that from the M.E?” Derek said, shocked at how good she was at this.

“I’ve been staring at his work for 2 years, every time a case from this town came in I checked into it to tie it to this guy. I don’t know what it is but this one gets to me, like BTK or Ed Kemper, these men have specific vendettas against women, they need to dominate women because they have a strong mother or wife in their presence. I know the type of man he is and I want to see him rot in prison.”

Spencer walked over to another table, spreading out a map and beginning to look at the geographical profile. Making down the 3 rapes and their dumpsites, the 6 abducted women and their dumpsites as well as the 6 home invasion homicides. Narrowing down on the geographical profile to find his comfort zone.

Y/N stood beside him watching him draw perfect circles over the map, placing a dot right in the middle. “He either lives or works in this area. Everything is within 35 miles of this area.”

Hotch took out his phone and called Garcia, placing the phone on the table with the speaker on. “Hello my lovelies, what can I do for you?”

“Have you narrowed anything down?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, I have 117 orange vans originally bought in the late ’70s that are still registered to men in this area all between the ages of 45 and 60. 63 of them work in home security, 13 of those have a son in boy scouts and 4 of those have prior peeping tom allegations.” She explained.

“Any of the 4 look interesting?” Hotch asked.

“We have Travis Johnson, 55 he works for Acorn Security, he was doing service in each town that a murder took place the same week they went missing. He is married and has been since 1980 right when he stopped raping and his 5th and last daughter was born the same week that Clarice Richardson was murdered in 1998. They took in a foster child to give him a boy 3 years ago who is in boy scouts, and has all his badges in you guessed it, knot tying.”

“Do we have his home and work address?” Morgan asked.

“Yes of course I do chocolate thunder, they’ve been sent to you already. I’ve also sent a list of his appointments for today, he might be on the hunt.”

“Thanks, baby girl,” Morgan smiled at the phone.

“It's what they pay me the big bucks for.”

She hung up and hotch immediately started handing out bullet-proof vests. “Time to catch him.”

Spencer rested a hand on your back as he passed you, smiling as if to say 'good job'.

Y/n grabbed her vest and her go-bag and quickly changed into something more suited for chasing after a runner. It almost always came to that in her experience. She came back out in jeans and a white long sleeve shirt tucked in, her vest on and her hair up. She placed her earpiece in and straightened out her gun. Making sure the clip was full and adding an extra one to her vest.

“Ready?” She asked Spencer as he tightened his vest.

“Let’s do this.”

They split up, Prentiss Rossi and JJ went to his house while Reid, Morgan, Hotch and Y/L/N took a squad of local cops to where the unsub was supposedly doing his house calls.

They slowly drove through the neighbourhoods, lights off just paroling up and down the streets. They saw an orange van parked on the side of the street, they watched as the unsub got out of the driver's seat, grabbing a bag and walking up to a woman’s house. Slowly they all got out of the SUV, Morgan and Hotch taking the back while Reid and Y/L/N took the front door. They waited for confirmation that he wasn’t alone in this home, before going in.

They could hear a woman talking and then there was a scream, “I’m going in,” Y/L/N said, Kicking the door down before Reid took the lead, Y/N following behind him.

“Travis Johnson? FBI!” Spencer yelled.

The two of them cleared the main room, working their way to the hallway, Reid let her take the lead to the bedroom where they heard the struggle.

“Travis put down the rope and let her go,” Y/N said slowly as he walked into the room, gun pointed.

“And why should I?” He panicked, holding the woman against his chest, she was crying gripping onto the rope he was holding tightly around her throat.

“I’m a huge fan of your work!” Y/N said. “I work for VICAP, I’m the one who had to put each and every single one of your victims in the system. I know exactly how much you’re into control and BDSM, it’s honestly surprising that you have to force these women into it, why are women so against letting a big strong man control them anymore?” She said softly as she lowered the gun and her voice.

“You know, I’ve always thought BDSM was super sexy, I’d love to be tied up and taken control of, if you put down the rope how would you like to have a willing participant one day?” She teased him, getting closer and closer, she could see he was rock hard. He loosened the rope and pushed her to the side, stepping forward towards Y/N who quickly flipped him to the floor and cuffed him.

“Travis Johnson you are under arrest for the rape and murder of over 12 women. You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one will be appointed for you. If you chose to share anything without a lawyer present you have the right to stop at any time. Is that clear?”

She single handily lifted him to his feet and dragged him out of the room as the men in the hall just watched with awe.

“You’re a little bitch you know that?” The unsub said as he struggled in her grasp.

She slammed him against the hallway wall, pressing right up against his back, whispering in his ear “oh so now you have a big mouth huh, finally feel like you can talk to a woman who isn’t tied down? I’m in control here, you’re my little bitch you hear me? Only good boys get to speak to me.” She said as she pulled him back off the wall and handed him off to local PD. “Have fun being a little bitch in prison Travis.”

She stood there with her arms crossed catching her breath as the adrenalin shook through her body.

“Well done Y/L/N,” Hotch and Morgan put their fists out to give her props.

“How would you like to join the team for good?” Hotch asked? “we’ve been looking for an extra hand.”

“Absolutely!”

—

They were going to spend the night in Wichita, all agreeing to spend the night getting drinks at the local bar suggested by the PD. Piling into the SUV all together with Spencer offering to DD.

“How much time have you put into Travis?” Prentiss asked in the back seat beside Y/N.

“Sharon Flynn was the first case I ever put into my system 2 years ago. Her case looked so gruesome and evil it never left my mind. So then when Alice Webster, number 6 came in I did some more digging and found the 4 before Sharon and the 3 rapes, I knew it was cold for a while but something about him always stuck with me. And for some reason last week when I emailed the info to JJ out of the blue I had a gut feeling he was at it again.” Y/N explained.

“It’s a special talent to just feel when something is wrong.” JJ smiled back at them.

“I’ve always been, not fascinated, by serial killers but more interested in the chase of justice.” She explained, “if that makes sense. I love puzzles and finding answers and at least this way the end result is families finding peace.”

They pulled into the parking lot, all of them finding their way into the bar before the ladies went to the bathroom to freshen up.

“So Y/N,” Prentiss said, taking her phone out and calling Penelope. “The ladies of the BAU are very close, so welcome to our little group.”

“exactly.” Penelope said over the phone, “welcome to the group you’re going to fit right in!” She cheered.

“Thank you, VICAP was not a tight-knit group like y’all are. I’m extremely excited to get to know you all more.” Y/N smiled as she straightened her shirt out in the mirror.

“So you and Spencer?” JJ asked.

“We were in the same kindergarten class,” Y/N said with a small smile. “I thought he was going to be my best friend and then he took some test and was bumped into 4th grade. By the time I was in high school he had already finished his second Ph.D.”

“So you never kept up with each other?” Prentiss asked.

She shook her head. “I knew of him, my mom is the Activities Organizer at the home his mom is at, he used to go to the park across from my house, he now lives across the hall from me and works with me. I think we were always supposed to be friends but it wasn’t the right time till now.”

“Sounds like you have a crush,” Penelope teased through the phone.

“I do.” She smiled to herself. “I think I always have.”

“If pretty boy was here he’d say that there is a statistical likelihood that because you’ve been interested in him for longer than 3 years you’re most likely in love with him and you'll never not be.” Prentiss explained, “I heard him say that to Hotch once.”

She nodded along, “I guess I just need to get him to fall in love with me now.”

“It won't be that difficult.” JJ placed her hand on Y/N’s back and they all made their way out of the bathroom smiling.

The men were all sitting together at a table with everybody’s drinks already waiting.

“We didn’t know what you liked,” Spencer said as Y/N sat beside him. “So I said I’d go get whatever you want.”

“Or we can go up to the bar together.” She smiled.

The two of them got up and walked to the bar, the rest of the team watched them.

She leaned against the bar, ordering her drinks and pressing in close to Spencer. “It’s been so nice getting to spend time with you.” He said softly.

She was handed her drinks before she could even respond. Taking her tequila shot there and bringing her margarita back to the table as Spencer followed swiftly behind her.

They all drank and exchanged case stories from within and beyond the BAU, Spencer was able to add a lot of input but he was always cut off. Y/N leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “you can tell me all your facts later I really want to hear them.” She smiled so softly Spencer felt his heart about to burst in his chest.

Emily left the group to go flirt with the bartender, JJ was on FaceTime in the SUV with Will, Rossi had disappeared with a local woman and Hotch and Morgan were exchanging childhood stories over a beer in the corner.

The bar was playing old, slow music, almost everyone had filtered out but there were still older local couples hanging out and dancing in the middle of the room.

“Do you dance?” Y/N asked Spencer.

“I can try.”

She took his hand and led him to the floor. Drunk on the alcohol and his touch as she slipped his hands around to her back, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her head on his chest. She felt his cheek rest on the top of her head as the two of them just swayed in a circle together.

“Do you have any other memories of me?” Y/N asked him softly.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “You lived across the street from the park, and your mom works at the nursing home. You have 2 younger brothers who have always looked older than you. They would come and go when I was sitting on the lone swing and I’d always see you in the window reading. I knew you were my age but it still never felt right for me to talk to you when I was in university.”

“I watched you every time you were on the swings, you looked so peaceful. You read at least a book a day every time you were out there and it became so special to me seeing you there every weekend.” She explained.

“The world works in mysterious ways.” He explained.

She held him as close as she could. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect her day to go like this. She expected coffee and a weird goodbye in the elevator and staring at a computer screen all day. Somehow she ended up in Spencer's arms in a different state after having caught the serial killer that's haunted her dreams for years.

He rubbed his thumb lightly over her back, “do you want to go back to the hotel? We have an early flight.” He whispered.

“Yeah,” she smiled pulling back but reaching down to hold his hand as they walked over to Hotch and Morgan.

They drove home quietly, everyone in the back was happily drunk and tired. They parked and wandered up to their rooms, saying goodbye at their doors and disappearing into their rooms.

Spencer let her take the bathroom first, changing into her PJ’s and then he did the same. She laid in her bed, facing his as he sat up and read.

“Can I come lie beside you?” She asked, knowing exactly how needy she sounded.

He nodded, pulling the sheet back so she could slip right in. She laid on her side and just looked up at him. Absolutely astounded that she was with him.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Spencer asked, putting his book down and sliding down the bed to be on her level.

“Yeah?” She said nervously.

“Today you said it’s hard for people to come forward after they are assaulted, it sounded like personal experience and I wanted you to know if you need anyone, I’m always available for you.” He explained.

“Oh,” her face dropped. “I was 12, he was 15. You were in high school at the same time as him. I don’t know if you’d remember him, his name was Christopher.”

Spencer nodded along as she spoke. “When my mom finally went back to work she didn’t trust me watching my brothers alone so her friend offered to babysit us during the days. Her foster son took advantage of me the whole summer and when my parents finally found out he went into Sophomore year and told everyone that the nerdy girl who looks like bugs bunny was obsessed with him, that I stalked him and that anything I said about him wasn’t real.”

“I’m so sorry.” He rubbed his hand over her shoulder to soothe her.

“It’s okay, they used to call me bugs bunny because of my overbite. I used to rest my front teeth on my front lip and they would throw carrots at me,” she explained further.

“It all makes sense now,” he said softly.

“What does?”

“When I was 13 the seniors had a cheerleader invite me onto the football field and convinced me to strip down to my underwear, she was about to kiss me when all the football guys ran out and beat me up, they tied me to the goal post and the one said ‘we should really hook you up with bugs bunny, you losers would be perfect together.’ And they left me there all night long.”

“Oh Spencer I am so sorry,” she cuddled in close to him, placing her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I think we went through our traumas separately all these years because something bigger than us knew we’d need each other one day.”

“When we get back to Virginia, would you like to go on a date with me?” Spencer asked.

“I would want nothing more.” She hugged him a bit tighter.

They stayed like that for a while until Spencer felt Y/N slip into the night's slumber. He quietly reached for the lamp, turning it off and readjusting himself under Y/N’s grasp.

He fell asleep not so long after. Both sleeping soundly for the first time in a long time.

Chapter 2

They had 3 back to back cases once they arrived back at Quantico. They travelled from DC to California to North Carolina within 2 weeks of Y/N working with the BAU.

Meaning she had not yet gone on that date Spencer asked her out on.

“If we get another call as soon as I reach that elevator I am leaving and not coming back. I am exhausted,” Emily said as she packed her bag and all but sprinted for the door.

“I hope my car still runs, it’s been parked here for so long now,” Y/N added and she walked towards the door. “You coming Spence?”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the car,” he said with a smile as he waved her off.

Emily and Y/N waited for the elevator, Penelope and JJ quickly followed behind them with their bags in their hands. Penelope’s heels clicked as fast as they could against the floor as she tried to catch up.

“Girls night?” JJ asked, “Will said Henry is asleep and he’s about to go to bed too, so I’m free for a bit?”

“I have to go home, I’ve barely moved into my new apartment, I still have to unpack,” Y/N explained.

“How about we come have some wine and help you?” Emily offered.

“If I’m being honest, I kinda want some alone time with Spencer.” She blushed bright red.

“Oooooo,” Penelope and JJ teased.

“It’s about time someone gave Spencer the attention he deserves,” Emily laughed.

“Believe me he’s going to get too much attention now that I live across the hall from him, work with him and carpool with him,” she giggled right back. “Has he never had a girlfriend before?”

“Not that we know of,” JJ said, “he’s very quiet.”

“Have you?” Penelope asked, “dated before that is?”

“oh no, I’ve never dated anyone before, I haven’t even kissed anyone in years,” she said feeling bashful and embarrassed.

“I think that's what Spencer needs though,” Emily added, “He needs someone on the same level as him all ‘round, you two match in every sense it’s almost perfect.”

“He’s probably the only man who doesn’t make me feel scared like I want my first real love to be with someone I feel safe with, I don’t think I could do anything with like, Morgan or Hotch or any men like them. They’re nice, yeah but the aggressive authority side isn’t something I’m comfortable around outside of work.” She explained.

“Yeah, Spencer is a sweetheart. I think that’s why I didn’t end up with him honestly.” JJ said softly, “Gideon tried to hook us up years ago cause we were the youngest on the team, but I do crave that authority outside of work.”

“It’s probably because you’re in power here. You handle the media, you wear the pants and you get shit done,” Y/N said, “you want to go home and be taken care of by a man who knows how to run a household.”

“Exactly!” JJ laughed.

“I want to be taken care of, yes, but I rather be the caretaker at home. I just want someone who will do their own thing with me in the same room, to kiss me before we go to bed and make sure I know they love me.” Y/N said softly, only picturing a life with Spencer as she said it.

The elevator never moved the whole time they were in there, it dinged and opened to Spencer and Morgan waiting. “You guys are that tired you didn’t even make it to your cars?” Morgan teased.

“didn’t even push the button actually,” Y/N chimed in.

“We were having girl time,” Penelope smiled.

“well let’s go home finally,” Morgan and Spencer walked in, pressing the button to the garage and riding down in silence.

Spencer waited for Y/N to exit the elevator last before walking with her to her car. She unlocked it and got in, watching and waving as her new friends pulled out of the garage.

“Ready?” She asked, pulling out as soon as she saw Spencer nod his head with his cute little pressed-lip smile.

They drove home in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet for the first time in weeks. The drive was quick, 30 minutes in the cold, dark, Virginia wilderness.

She parked in their parking lot, yawning as she turned the car off. She grabbed her purse from the back seat and made her way inside with Spencer.

“You going to sleep?” She asked him when they reached her door.

“Probably not, my brain is still too caught up in the cases,” he said honestly.

“Would you like to come in for some tea? To calm down before bed?” She offered as she unlocked her door.

She stepped inside, unlocking the alarm with the 4 digit code. Spencer tried his best not to listen but he failed, he’ll remember the sound of the code forever now.

She flicked on the light and looked around at the mess she left in her living room. “God I forgot it’s a mess in here,” she groaned.

Spencer followed her inside, following her lead and dropping his bag on the floor. He watched as Y/N walked around the house with her hand on her gun, clearing each room to make sure it was still safe.

“Sorry, I live alone, I don’t take any chances,” she said as she came back into the room.

She unlocked her safe and placed her work gun inside, closing it and spinning the lock right after. She let out a deep sigh, stretching her arms out over her head. “It’s so nice to be back in this mess.”

“I can help you unpack this weekend?” Spencer offers.

“If you want to that would be nice, I’ll order us some take out too.”

She picked up the boxes on her couch and moved them to the floor, she cleared off her coffee table and took the lamps out of the box in the corner. She plugged them into the wall and set them on the end tables. Luckily her furniture was in place all she had to do was put out all her little trinkets, books and photos.

Spencer took a seat on her couch, opening a box with mugs and cups, taking them all out of their bubble wrapping and setting them on the coffee table.

Y/N managed to find her kettle, as well as the box of random food she brought from her old cupboard. She set out a variety of teas and digestive biscuits.

Spencer slowly brought the mugs over, placing them in the cupboard of Y/N’s choosing, making sure he left 2 mugs out for them.

“Can I have a green tea?” Spencer asked softly.

“Of course, is it your favourite?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I would like some caffeine but I’m not interested in having a coffee, so this is a good middle ground.”

“I’m not a fan of most hot drinks, that's why I drink ice coffee in the mornings,” Y/N poured the hot water into both cups, leaving room for milk in both mugs just in case. “But, Orange Pekoe is my favourite.”

She placed a tea bag in each mug and handed Spencers to him.

She watched him add a little sugar to his mug before picking it up and returning to the sofa. She followed him shortly after adding milk and sugar to her own, as well as a plate of cookies.

She sighed as she settled in to the couch. “Going to try my hardest to manifest a full weekend off, with no cases, if my spirit guides loved me they will listen.” She jokes.

“You’re spiritual?” He asks.

“A little?” She shrugs, “I’m very into natural medicine, lunar cycles, manifesting and affirmations. Basically what would be considered a witch back in the day.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I had a pretty invasive surgery when I was 17, and because of the body trauma, I developed fibromyalgia. And there really aren’t any answers or explanations for it so I had to turn to something to bring me peace and pain relief.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through that.”

“It’s okay, eating right, taking my supplements, sleeping and exercise help. Basically, if I take care of myself my body will thank me,” she huffed out a small laugh. “It’s annoying waking up in pain randomly for no reason. I rather wake up sore from taking down an unsub, at least then, the pain is more like a reward, you know?”

Spencer nodded along and smiled softly, “I’m glad you found something that helps you.”

“How about you? I’m guessing you’re a science-only man?”

He laughed, “yes.”

“So do you believe in soulmates?” She asked on a whim.

“In the scientific sense of the word yes. I believe when the big bang happened, all the atoms, electrons and particles that split to make the universe as we know it, still exist in us today. Who’s to say that they don’t pull back to each other, causing a cosmic connection,” Spencer explained softly, his voice low as he explained himself.

Y/N set her drink down, moving in closer to him on the couch. “And how do you know when you’ve met your other half?” She asked. Her voice was just as low.

Spencer set his mug down as well, he placed his warm hand on her cheek, “I think everything would just make sense with them. They’d orbit each other's lives for so long, observing and acknowledging one another and finally one day they’ll connect.”

He leaned in and pressed his perfectly soft lips against hers. She reached her hand around the back of his neck and held him into the kiss. Breathing in deeply through her nose, trying to keep the moment forever.

She pulled back, her breathing was deep as she opened her eyes to look into his. “If you weren’t just explaining the big bang to me, I’d think that was it.”

He laughed at her joke, making both of their hearts soar. She pressed him back against the sofa, adjusting themselves so that she was lying partially on top of him as they cuddled in her crowded living room.

They could hear the sound of the world going on around them. The subtle hum of the subway below them. The distant car horns, someone upstairs was walking around in their apartment.

They were completely quiet then, just cuddled up in their own world without any distractions. The two of them let their hands wander each other as they laid there.

Y/N slowly sat up, peeling herself out of Spencer's grip. “Do you want to spend the night here?”

“I’m just going to run across the hall and get ready for bed, I can lock up when I come back?” He said softly.

“Okay, the button with the person inside the house is the one you hold down on the alarm system after you lock both locks,” she explained before standing up and walking into her bedroom.

She changed into a pair of shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top. She brushed her teeth and hair, throwing it up in a little bun. She took out her contacts, replacing them with her glasses. She washed her face, watered her plants and sat down in her bed finally.

She had her hand on her night side drawer, where she keeps her other gun, just in case the person coming into her house wasn’t Spencer. But then she heard the alarm system arm, both locks clicked, the sound of dishes being placed in the sink and finally the sound of a lamp being clicked off.

Spencer slipper clad feet against the hardwood floor is all she heard as he walked into her room. He took the right side of the bed, wearing his PJ bottoms and a regular t-shirt. It was really the first time she was him so dressed down.

She settled down into the bed, she put her glasses on her side table, plugged in her phones and turned out the light. Spencer spooned into her, cuddling in tight and holding her against his chest.

“Goodnight, Spencer.” She whispered.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

She didn’t fall asleep right away. She basked in the glory that was Spencer Reid’s warm embrace. The feeling of his breath against her neck and his hand on her stomach.

“I love you.” Was the last thing she thinks she heard before she finally fell asleep.

—

She woke up to her phone ringing. She reached over to the nightstand and clicked talk. “SSA Y/L/N,” she said.

“Hey, it’s Penelope.”

“What’s up?”

“Not a case don’t worry, I was just wondering if I could stop by with some iced coffee and breakfast sandwiches to help you unpack?” She asked way too cheerfully for whatever time it was.

“Uh yeah just give us a chance to wake up, can you come by in 30?” She said as she rubbed her eyes, waking up.

“Us?”

“Uh, yeah, Spencer came in for tea and slept on the couch,” she lied.

“No I didn’t,” he groggily chimed in from where he was cuddled into the crook of Y/N’s neck.

“Right okay, so I’ll bring Spencer some breakfast too then,” she said before hanging up.

Y/N placed the phone back on her night table, settling back into Spencer’s embrace.

“Why’d you lie?” He asked.

“Didn’t know if I had your consent to tell her about us yet,” she whispered into his hair as she placed kisses on his head.

“Morgan told me if I didn’t kiss you last night, he’d make me do another round of physical evaluations,” he smiled against her skin. “He wanted to win the bet everyone set to see who would kiss who first.”

“So you just helped the guys win?”

“Prentiss, Morgan and Hotch were betting for me to kiss you first,” he admitted.

“Well, that means Rossi, Garcia and JJ think I’m the one wearing the pants here. Good to know,” she giggled.

“You can wear the pants,” he said as he shifted his weight to look up at her, “as long as I get to take them off later.”

“Well, Dr. Reid, I never thought you’d have it in you,” she was pleasantly surprised.

“When I get comfortable around someone I’m a lot different than I am at work,” he explained, “I heard what you said about needing someone to take care of who still wants to take care of you.”

She blushed, “of course you did.”

He leaned down to kiss her jaw and down her neck. “I think we can work something out,” he whispered.

Her breathing hitched. She couldn’t believe the complete 180º his personality just took, and she wasn’t complaining. All the moisture left her mouth as she just nodded her head in agreement.

“We should get up before she gets here,” he said, kissing her one last time before crawling out of bed.

She laid there staring up at the ceiling, shocked, flabbergasted, enamoured, basically every single word that essentially meant ‘what the fuck just happened.'

She got up, turned off the alarm and waited to use the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and replaced her tank top with a sweater. Spencer slipped across the hall to change into jeans and a button-down shirt, almost like he couldn’t be in anything else around his friends.

Penelope was a hugger, she made sure to give Y/N a good squeeze as she walked into her apartment. “It’s literally the same as Reid’s just backwards,” was the first thing she said.

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been over there yet,” Y/N smiled, taking the coffees out of Penelope’s hands and setting them on the counter.

“JJ and Emily said they’d love to come help later too if you want them to, but it doesn’t look too bad for just the 3 of us,” she said looking around.

“Everything is labelled, my room is all done so you don’t need to worry about it, set up however you see fit, honestly, I’m at a bit of a loss figuring out how to make this place feel more like me with what I have.”

“Alright, well,” she started, looking for the box with the cleaning supplies. “First we clean the kitchen then we put everything where it has to go.”

So that's what they did, they spent a few hours wiping down every surface in the house, disinfecting the floors, the walls, door handles, nobs, everything. Then Penelope got out all her pots and pans, hanging them on the rack above the kitchen island.

Spencer took all the plates out, stacking them neatly in the cabinet. Y/N stacked her cups and glasses, placing them on the shelf with the glass door. They organized her utensils, baking equipment, cookbooks and aprons, asking all about how much she baked.

She offered to make cookies for the team soon, that was a Sunday night with Spencer activity for sure.

In the living space, there weren’t many things. Spencer unpacked the books and placed them on her shelves in library-coded order. While Penelope and Y/N unboxed all her albums and records, cheering and singing along to their favourites.

Y/N had never quite had friends like this before, people who just fit into her life so easily. This was really the best family in the FBI, they knew how to make someone feel completely and wholly loved.

“I need to get some art and stuff,” Y/N said staring at the one empty wall.

“What are you going to do on the fireplace mantle?” Spencer asked, noticing it was still empty.

“Probably some of my spiritual stuff, like my crystals and candles and incense,” she smiled.

“oh, I do that too!” Another thing they had in common.

The day blew past them. They finished unpacking and breaking down all the boxes by 2 pm, finally sitting down altogether, exhausted. Ready to order a few pizzas and chill for the rest of the afternoon.

—

“I really appreciate the help today,” she said as she hugged Penelope. Penelope’s hugs were more comforting than her own mother’s, she thought. Holding her tightly and taking it all in. “I’m so blessed I ran into Spencer and now I get to be your friend.”

“I will cry,” she joked as she hugged y/n tighter. “I’m very blessed to have met you as well.”

She hugged Spencer on her way out as well, forcing herself to leave or else she would have stayed and talked for hours.

As soon as Spencer closed the door behind her, he set the alarm the way Y/N liked it. She smiled at him, seeing him remember how she likes to feel completely safe.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in. “Would you like to make out with me on my bed?”

“Like horny teenagers?” He giggled, dropping his forehead to rest on hers.

“We never really got the horny teenage experience,” she said softly.

“Are you-?” He cut himself off before he could say the word.

She looked up at him, her eyes big and innocent, she nodded. “technically.”

“Technically?” He repeated softly.

“I don’t want to count my sexual assault as my first,” she whispered. “I’ve never let anyone touch me since.”

His arms wrapped tighter around her, pulling her in closer to be right against his chest. He kissed her cheeks, her chin, forehead, nose, and finally her lips. “I’m going to try my best to never hurt you.”

She kissed him deeper, her hand on the back of his neck, never wanting to part from him. But when she did, she whispered, out of breath. “Promise to only hurt me if I ask you to?”

He saw the way his breath hitched and the way his grip changed. His face went red as he nodded feverishly.

“Are you a virgin Dr. Reid?” She teased.

“No,” he whispered. “I uh had sex in college, just to get it out of the way.”

She broke out of his grasp, taking his hand and pulling him into her bedroom. She closed the door behind them flicking on her fairy lights and lighting a couple of candles. He sat patiently on her bed as he watched her nervously organize things that had no reason to be organized in that moment.

But he let her calm down until she was fully ready, or she changed her mind. Either way, he was going to hang out with her all night long, however she wanted him.

“Close your eyes,” she asked softly. “Lay back against the bed and don’t look at me yet.” She ordered him and he listened.

He pressed his eyes closed and scooted up the bed till his head was on a pillow, laying back with his hands over his eyes. He listened closely to the sound of her taking her clothes off. She tried to steady her breath as she pulled off her sweater and sports bra and replace it with something cute.

She put on her only pair of matching underwear, ones she got on sale at some department store that she only wore for herself so far. She crawled up the bed, sitting directly on Spencer's hips.

She took his hands off his eyes, noticing they were still closed, she smiled. She placed his hands on her bare hips. “Open them.”

He opened his eyes to the most stunning image he’s ever seen in his life. Blinking a few times as his mind burned the image into the back of his eyelids for the rest of time. “Fuck,” he whispered.

She smiled to herself, “thought you’d like it.”

She leaned down, arching her back and kissed his neck. His hands travelled from her thighs to her perched ass as she kissed up his jaw to his ear. He was nothing but breathy moans and thank you’s as she explored him.

She ground herself down on his growing erection, smirking against his skin. She sat back on his hips, wiggling as she undid each of his shirt buttons, way too slow.

She took her time, pulling the front of his shirt out of his jeans and finally spreading the shirt open. Her hands ran over his chest before she used her nails to scrape her way down to his jean buttons.

He reached for her hands then. Stopping her and looking up into her eyes. “Before we start, I need to know what will trigger you,” he said softly.

“Oh,” her face dropped a little, she was a little overwhelmed with the fact he was asking, but she knew he truly cared. “I can’t do blowjobs yet, I will probably have a panic attack.”

“I can live without them,” he smirked, “look at everything else you do, fuck you’re amazing.” His hands roamed her skin the whole time.

She tucked her ankles under his knees and in one swift moment flipped them from laying on his side of the bed to the middle. He was on top of her now, absolutely amazed that she could do that.

“Told you I was combat trained,” she giggled.

Spencer sat up on the bed, ripping his shirt off and pushing himself out of both his jeans and underwear at the same time. Her mouth couldn’t help but fall open and the sight of his perfect cock bouncing free.

He sat back, trying to tug his jeans off of his ankles when he fell back and landed on the hardwood floor, “Spencer!” She couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from her.

He huffed, clearly embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she quickly bit her lip to try and stop laughing.

“When you said horny teenager phase I didn’t think you meant the awkward part too,” he smiled, standing completely naked in front of her.

“Get back here,” she giggled.

He got right back on top of her, between her legs that she wrapped immediately around him. Locking him in place. “How would you like it?” He asked.

“Well hypothetically,” she began with a smirk, “I think I would like to ride you, sitting up, tits in your face, the whole shebang.”

He forgot how to breathe, the most beautiful girl in the world just laid out how she wants to be fucked like it was a science experiment.

He was in love with her.

She flipped him again, “you have to stop doing that!” He gasped.

She laughed as she sat up, getting off him enough so he could sit up against the headboard. She shimmied out of her underwear before sitting down on him again, their most intimate parts just resting close to one another. She shivered at the feel of his hot skin against hers. She’d never been this close to another human before.

“Do you have a condom?” He asked, suddenly shy.

“If you want one yeah but I have an IUD in case I get,” she stopped herself, “you know, in the field.”

“Yeah that's smart,” he was so nervous.

She leaned in and kissed him. Holding his cheeks in her hands as his hands reached behind her back to undo her bra. She opened her mouth to let him explore with his tongue as she felt the straps of her bra slip down her shoulders.

She let go of his face one hand at a time and peeled the bra from her skin. Flinging it across the room without looking and pressing her breasts against his chest.

She gets on her knees without breaking the kiss, reaching between them she grips the base of his cock. His breath hitches in his throat and she can feel his pulse in his shaft.

She drags the head through her folds, she breaks the kiss to breathe in his ear, “you know, you’re just a bit bigger than what I'm used to.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

She lines him up with her and slowly pushes down on him, pulling up and back down again, each time getting his cock a little wetter on her juices so he can slip in easier. “I think it was called the emerald stud, he’s in a box over there,” she whispers in his ear as she bottoms out.

She sits back, her arms around his shoulders, she rocks on his cock. His eyes slip shut as he dips his head back against her crossed wrists. “Fuck,” he breathes.

She shifts again, bouncing more on him when she’s used to his size. His hands are on her ass again, helping her bounce as he moved to kiss her neck and collarbones.

He’s all noises, hot breath against her chest and sloppy kisses. She reaches between them to rub her clit before he pushes her hand out of the way to rub her himself. Feeling how swollen she is, he squeezes her clit lightly.

She moans out a high pitches squeak that she had no idea she could make, covering her mouth as she bounced a little harder on his cock. “Fuck Spencer,” she whispered into his hair.

He kissed her ear again, “you want me to cum in you?” He asks.

“God yeah, fill me up,” she replies without thinking, tossing her head back and grinding down ever so provocatively on him.

She presses her front against him more, causing the friction from his index finger on her clit to get more intense as she bucks her hips faster and faster against him.

He’s gone. Absolutely destroyed. He cants even worn her that he’s about to cum he just tips his head back and fucks up into her, gripping her ass so tight that he knows she’s going to have 5 deep, finger-shaped, purple bruises around each ass cheek.

Her orgasm rips through her, losing balance with her shaking thighs she gasps for air, falling into him with her face in the crook of his neck. She is breathing so hard as she comes down, she drools on his neck a little.

He pulls his hand out from between them, flicking her clit on last time. Sending a tremor through her body. She twitches against him, tensing up and tightening around the cock still inside her.

He moans once more, and she feels the tiniest trickle of cum slip out of her as he lifts her off him.

They don’t talk. They just hold onto one another, breathing and rubbing their hands over each other's skin.

“Wow,” Spencer finally says.

“Yeah,” she agrees.

“Hypothetically,” he says with a smile, “I think the outcome we reached was the intended goal?” Only Spencer Reid would make a joke like that after sex.

She laughed and kissed his neck, “very successful, I would be willing to switch techniques next time to see if we can repeat this outcome.”

“Sounds like a date.”

chapter 3

They worked together perfectly. Every morning he’d head across the hall to his own apartment to get ready, coming back to a slice of toast and coffee in his travel mug ready to go.

She looked gorgeous every morning. She put time and effort into what she wore to work, just to chase psychopaths all day. He was in love with her, its the only thing he knew for sure when he looked at her. He was never going to recover from falling for her.

He’d hold all her things while she sets the alarm and locks the door. She would drive them to work each morning and even then he’d carry all her things up to the office.

Everyone noticed how Spencer changed around Y/N, he was always smiling, he was basically glowing from being in love, and having sex. Derek teased him constantly, but in all honesty, he was really proud of his little bro.

They had a slow day, which meant all the ladies filed into Penny’s office to shoot the shit when they were really supposed to be writing reports.

“So?” Penelope looked at Y/N with an arched eyebrow. “How is he?”

She shook her head and giggled to herself. “Really good.”

“Really?” Emily pried?

“He has this other personality that comes out when we, you know,” she was afraid to say fuck inside the walls of Penelope’s office. “I’m addicted, I was so afraid to have sex and now I’m like having an internal battle of is it really worth getting caught in the filing room for a quicky!”

They all burst into laughter, sharing stories of all the times each of them has fucked at work, “you won't get caught if you let us help you?” JJ said with a smirk.

“You’re kidding?” Y/N tilted her head, not believing her.

“I can ask Morgan and the team to lunch while you stay here, text Spencer saying to stay back to get work done but he can meet you in here.” Penelope planned the whole thing.

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “I don’t think I’m comfortable enough for that yet.” She was being completely honest.

“We need a code word for when you choose to use this plan,” Emily said. “Like you group text us the word ‘switch’ and we will keep everyone busy for you and Spence.”

“Why do you want me to fuck him here so bad?”

They all laughed, “because we’re not used to Spence getting this kind of love!” JJ said. “Emily and Penelope covered for me literally when me and Will made Henry.”

“having a hand in making my godson gave me a god complex,” Penelope joked.

They got along fabulously, laughing and working all afternoon before the boys came to get them.

“We got something.”

Y/N walked out first joining Spencer in the hall with a smile, standing close enough to him as they walked that their knuckles rubbed together. She sat beside him in the briefing room, opening the case file in front of her and flipping through the info.

“Wow,” she whispered to herself. “I know a few of the 13 women, I put them in the missing system.”

Spencer rubs his hand over her back softly, looking at the pages she’s flipping through.

Garcia wasn’t cheery anymore, she grabbed the remote for the tv and started her rundown.

“Over the last 6 days, police in Winnemucca Nevada have dug up 13 bodies of women who have gone missing in the last 10 years. He seems to kill sporadically without patterns. M.E has confirmed all 13 women, and de-comp shows they were all killed within 24 hours of going missing.”

“Cause?” Prentiss asked.

“All 13 were strangled with plastic shopping bags, that were left wrapped around their faces in the graves. They were all sexually assaulted antemortem, but not all of them died from asphyxiation. He also stabbed 9 of the 13 victims, 5 of which died from massive blood loss. But the real kicker was that all 13 of them had their wombs removed.” Penelope finished.

“Do we know if any of them were pregnant?” Y/N asked.

“Yes,” she said flipping through slides, “victim number 13, Traci Purcell was 17 and according to her autopsy, her HCG levels indicated she would have been 3 weeks along when she was murdered.”

“Are they able to see if the others were pregnant?” Hotch asked.

“They’re working on it, best bet will be for me to pull medical records and to ask the family.”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch nodded towards the door.

Slowly but surely they all filed into the plane, Y/N took a window seat, quickly burying her head in the file, looking at each and every victim carefully.

“Spence, would you help me place the geographical profile?” Y/N asked him softly as he got comfortable in the seat across from her.

“Once we take off we can spread out the map,” he smiled softly back at her. Even when dealing with the hard cases they managed to get caught up in each other's eyes.

“Okay love birds, can I sit here too or will I get more than air sickness?” Morgan said, pretending to feel sick as he sat beside Y/N.

She smacked his arm lightly.

“Speaking of,” Spencer said, stopping to swallow nervously. “Hotch I’m going to need 2 of the workplace fraternization forms when we get back.”

Everyone on the plane cheered at him, he got 3 high-fives and all the congratulations in the world. Y/N immediately felt her face warm up.

“Don’t worry, Garcia filed them for you that night she helped you unpack,” Hotch smiled into his paperwork.

“How did she even know?” Y/N’s voice went up 3 octaves as she panicked.

“At least we know when pretty boy lost his V card now,” Morgan smirked.

“No, just me.” Y/N corrected him. To which Spencer was given yet another high five.

Just then Spencer was handed $20 from Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan. Y/N raised an eyebrow, “why?”

“I bet them $20, years ago, that I am in fact not a virgin and they said they would and I quote ‘only pay me if a woman who has fucked me confirms it.’ So who’s going to tell Gideon to pay up?” He explains.

The team carried on like normal after all the excitement died down. Having side conversations, working on the case, sleeping. The trip from Quantico to Winnemucca was fairly quick.

Y/N sat with Spencer at the table, spreading out the map and watching him place where all 13 victims disappeared from as well as where they were found. They were spread over 3 subdivisions, all 35 miles at least away from the burial sites.

“The park,” Spencer said softly.

“Is that the middle ground?”

“Yeah there’s something significant with the park,” Spencer confirms.

—

Spencer and Y/N went to the M.E together, all 13 women were labelled and displayed under white sheets. They took their time looking over each skeleton and the bodies.

“Clean cuts on the stomach, I wonder why he didn’t stab her?” Spencer said as he looked at the 13th victim.

“She might have cooperated better, or and I hate to say it but, seeing as she was Asian there is a high chance she didn’t bear resemblance to the source of the unsubs rage meaning she got to go out a little easier,” Y/N suggested with a disgusted look on her face.

“The 5 who died of blood loss were all white, brown hair, green eyes. 3 were 26, 2 were 29. They might be exactly his type,” Spencer confirmed the theory.

“They were also murdered,” she flipped her notebook open to show a chart with 5 columns. “June, February, June, November, November. Could also mean something to him.”

“What is that?” Spencer asks.

“It’s a chart that has the name, their age, the missing date and last scene location, the estimated date of death, and the cause. So that I can easily refer to the most important info when making a connection,” She explained. “My brain works better if I can see everything, so I also have my own little hand-drawn map of the area on his page as well as all my ideas in case I don’t get a turn to speak.”

“That’s really smart,” he smiled.

“So June, November and February might be significant to him.”

“Let’s go tell Hotch.”

Spencer drove for once, Y/N sat in the passenger seat in the SUV, doodling into her notebook.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Spencer asked.

“I wrote down the first letter of each month,” she explained, showing him the notebook. “And I circled each of the 3 months that repeat, February, June and November.”

“Okay?” He followed along.

“From February to November it’s 10 months or 40 weeks which is the typical length of a pregnancy,” She explained further. “This whole thing is clearly about pregnancy seeing as he is taking wombs. It’s clearly not a woman seeking revenge because of the sexual assault so it has something to do with him seeking revenge for a pregnancy in his life.”

“Could even be his own, like he’s punishing women who look like his mother because he wishes he was never born,” Spencer ponders.

They pulled into the police station, she got out and walked in all with her head still in the notebook. “Find anything?” Hotch asked.

“Of course she did,” Spencer bragged about her.

—

They all took a break, going back to their hotels to get some rest. All agreeing that since the media hasn’t released anything about this case yet the killed has no idea. They take it in faith that he will stick to his 2 to 4 month waiting period.

They all returned the next morning, refreshed and ready to resume their findings. JJ and Emily spent most of the morning interviewing families of the victims, specifically asking if they knew the vic was pregnant as well as what significance the park played in or around their pregnancies.

Y/N sat in silence with a coffee, flipping through her notebook. Hotch and Morgan were running over ideas they all had with Garcia on the phone.

“Hey, Spence?” Y/N called boy wonder over from the map he had been staring at.

“Yes, my love?” He says softly.

“I think I have an idea, can you go over it with me before we tell the team?” She asked.

“Of course,” he took a seat beside her.

“Why do I have an IUD?” She asks him in a whisper.

“In case you get raped in the field,” he whispered back.

“More specifically.”

“So you don’t get pregnant as a result of a rape in the field.”

“The sexual assaults in his mind, are him getting these victims pregnant. But they’re already pregnant when he picks them right?” She explains, “So that when he removes the uterus postmortem it's his way of aborting the child.”

“So this is all about abortion?” Spencer confirms.

“More specifically to do with how you said he regrets being born,” she corrects.

“Do you think he’s the product of a failed abortion?”

She nodded her head, “yeah and that by taking the whole uterus, and the strangling, and the stabbing, both mother and baby are for sure dead.”

“Hotch!” Spencer called across the room. “Y/N figured it out.”

They waited for JJ and Prentiss to finish an interview before they all piled into an office to discuss Y/N’s idea.

“Is there even any way to know if someone is the product of a failed abortion?” Prentiss asked after Spencer and Y/N took turns explaining how they came to their conclusion.

“Probably the best way would be to search for babies born with the common disabilities that occur in babies of failed abortions, but make sure they were born in November,” Y/N explained.

“Why November?” Penelope asked over the phone.

Y/N took a whiteout marker and started writing on the whiteboard.

“The 5 victims that died from loss of blood were all exactly the same, they were murdered in June, February, June. November and November.” She explained.

Writing “J F M A M J J A S O N D” on the whiteboard. Circling February, June and November.

“February, conception. 10 months later, or 40 weeks, is November. June is 4 months along meaning that would be when the mother either had the abortion, be it medical or homemade,” Y/N explained.

“Last year alone 146 of the 164,045 abortions resulted as a failure. When this happens most women choose to have the second procedure, or a D and C. Or they can carry the baby the rest of the way to term,” Spencer explained. “Children brought to term from a first-trimester medical abortion failure often have limb or digit abnormalities while infants born from non-medical approved abortions are more likely to have congenital problems.”

“However someone without a limb would not be able to do what our unsub is capable of. Digging graves, abducting, dragging dead bodies, it’s a lot of effort,” JJ added.

“Exactly, which is why I think our unsub probably has a mental disability.”

“Non-medical abortions, most often referred to as the poor person’s method, is taking a non-FDA approved ulcer treatment drug called Misoprostol, which is causing an epidemic of birth defects all along South America and parts of Asia,” Spencer added. “It induces contractions, causing women to deliver babies far too early to survive outside of the womb. If taken after the first trimester, and unsuccessful it can cut off oxygen to the brain long enough to permanently damage development in the frontal lobe.”

“Did the families mention anything about the park?” Y/N asked Prentiss and JJ.

“So far 4 of the victim's husbands say their wives announced they were pregnant on park benches, near the children swinging. They said it was the typical, ‘that could be us one day, that day came sooner than you thought’ moments from movies.” JJ confirmed.

“Let’s deliver the profile,” Hotch announced, following them all into the precinct.

—

They spent the next few hours looking for anyone with birth defects or mental disabilities that could be a potential suspect. Asking the other officers as well as anyone around the park about the type of man they were looking for.

Morgan and JJ patrolled the park while Rossi and Prentiss asked around on the street.

“Lynette Hayward,” Y/N whispered to herself, standing up and rushing through all the papers on the table in front of her.

“She was the only one who wasn’t pregnant, she was the only one who wasn’t reported missing, she was the oldest and in her youth, she had brown hair and green eyes. What if she’s his mother?” Y/N expressed to Spencer and Hotch who were watching her scramble around.

She pulled her phone out and called Garcia, “what’s cooking good lookin’?” Penelope answered.

“Can you help unscramble my egg brain?” She joked right back.

“Sure thing, whatcha got?”

“Lynette Hayward, does she have children, was she ever pregnant, or put someone up for adoption?”

“Let me check into it and I will call you right back!” Garcia said, hanging up and going right to work.

“Is there anyone here who knew Lynette Hayward about 30 years ago? She would have been 26 to 29, my height, brown hair, and green eyes?” Y/N announced to the whole Police Department.

“I did,” an officer said, standing up from the desk on the other side of the room.

She waved him over, pulling out a chair and asking him to sit.

“Was Lynette ever pregnant?” Y/N asked.

He thought for a moment, licking his lips and harkening all the way back to his 20’s. “There was a summer that no one saw her."

"When was this?" Spencer asked.

"From June to November, not a single person saw her. We thought maybe she was doing summer classes somewhere,” he explained.

“Were there any children dropped off at a fire hall or a hospital that November?” Spencer asked.

“There was a baby left in the park, poor little guy had been left out there in the cold,” he said.

Hotch, Spencer and Y/N all took a deep breath and looked at each other. “That’s him.”

Garcia called back then, “I found 1 baby left abandoned in the park in November of 1979, he was diagnosed with a cleft lip and palate, seizures, and later on he was diagnosed with diabetes, Crohn’s disease and Asperger's syndrome.”

“Name and address?” Spencer asked.

“That's the difficult part, he was born, operated on and handed over to the state and cared for by a foster family that named him Jake Alexander Ingrid. At the age of 6, he was adopted by them fully. When he was 12 he dropped out of the public school system due to bullying that left him in the hospital with a broken arm. After that, his trail goes cold.”

“How cold?” Y/N asked.

“If I didn't know better I'd say he was the one missing not Lynette,” Garcia confirmed.

“Does anyone live in Lynette’s house?” Hotch asked.

The sound of Garcia’s typing was all they heard over the phone, “her bills are being paid on time, someone is in her trailer. I’ve sent the address to your phones.”

“Let’s go.”

Hotch kicked the trailer door in, “FBI!”

He was asleep, startled awake in the bed that used to belong to his birth mother. He cried, overwhelmed with the 3 guns pointed in his face. Hotch sighed, cuffing him and reading him his rights.

“Why are the worst ones always the sadist?” Y/N asked Spencer as they watched forensics tore apart the trailer.

“Sad in what context?”

“His whole life was so fucked up, it sucks. All those women crossed paths with him and he took his fucked up life and ended theirs, as well as their babies,” Y/N couldn’t stop shaking her head as she spoke, disgusted with the whole situation.

Spencer wrapped her up in a hug, “if we spend all our time wondering why the world is like this we won't have enough time to bring justice to the victims.”

“which is the best outcome we can ask for,” Y/N agreed.

“Dr, Reid, agent Y/L/N?” An officer interrupted their hug and watched them awkwardly pull away from each other quickly.

“Yes?” Spencer answered.

“We found the wombs.”

The worst fucking sentence she had ever heard. “I can’t look at that.” She said, walking away to join JJ and Prentiss standing by the SUV.

“Good job kid,” Morgan said, wrapping his arm around her. “You’re almost as smart as boy wonder over there.”

“Just call me Mrs, boy wonder then,” she joked.

“Don’t tempt him!” Prentiss joked.

Y/N turned back to see Spencer walking out of the trailer, a shade of green spreading across his skin. “Excuse me,” she said walking towards the ambulance that was on standby.

“Dr. Reid looks like he might be sick,” she said, taking an EMT with her towards him.

Sure enough, Spencer leaned over the bushes and hurled before passing out into the EMT’s arms. Morgan and Hotch came running over to him, helping get him into an ambulance.

“What happened?” Morgan asked.

“He took a look at the recovered womb’s the forensic team found,” Y/N explained.

“That would do it,” Hotch agreed.

Y/N rubbed her hand along Spencer’s shoulder, “good catch,” the EMT complimented her as he took Spencer's vitals.

“I know him well.”

“Too well,” Morgan agreed. “You’d think you were cut from the same cloth.”

“No,” she said softly, gripping Spencer’s hand in her own as he started to stir a little. “We’re cosmically connected, made from the same space rock that split during the big bang.”

“I love you,” he whispered, awake the whole time she was speaking.

“Yeah, yeah,” she teased him, “I know, save your strength, you’re still all pasty white.”

“Gross,” Morgan smiled, turning away from the ambulance

chapter 4

Prentiss convinced Y/N and Spencer to take the weekend off in Nevada to go visit their parents. They agreed that it would be nice, seeing as neither of them thought to tell their moms that they met again let alone that they were together.

Y/N walked into the Nursing home first, looking for her mom in her office as Spencer walked in quickly to go find his mother.

“Hey mom,” Y/N smiled as she knocked on her mother's office door.

“Y/N!” She yelled, shocked to see her eldest baby standing in front of her for the first time since last Christmas. “What are you doing here?”

“Remember how I moved?” She started there.

“Yes?”

“Well, my new neighbour ended up being Spencer Reid, and he introduced me to the BAU and I helped them with a case, so they hired me, and now I work for them and we just finished a case in Winnemucca and me and Spencer are dating. He’s here too and we’re taking the weekend off to tell you and Diana,” she had never rambled so fast to her mother before in her life.

“Holy shit?” Her mother was shocked, “this all happened in the last 3 weeks? Is that why you’ve been too busy to text me?”

“I’ve been on 5 cases in the last 3 weeks, I was swamped,” she smiled, her eyes welling with tears.

Her mom walked over to her and wrapped her up in her arms, holding her close. “My baby, this is everything you wanted why are you crying?”

“I haven’t taken a moment to actually understand that this is all real,” she whispered.

Her mother pulled back, looking in her eyes with a stern look. “Is he good to you?”

She laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. “He’s wonderful.”

“Diana is in the game room, let’s go see them,” she tucked her arm under Y/N’s and the two of them walked arm in arm towards the game room.

Diana stood up as she saw them walk in, “Debbie’s daughter?” She asked.

Spencer nodded with a large smile on his face. “This is Y/N Y/L/N, my partner.”

“I know you,” Diana said softly, reaching out to pull her into a hug. “You would read to me on Thursdays after Spencer left for CalTech.”

“Really?” Spencer asked.

“I knew you were here as often as you could be, and I felt bad she didn’t have any other children to come see her,” Y/N explained. “I know if my mom was here and my brother couldn’t visit I’d fill in.”

“It was lovely, I still have the book you gave me before you left for the academy,” Diana’s smile was as big and bright as Spencer’s.

They all sat together, sharing stories with each other. It seemed like their mothers enjoyed sharing embarrassing kid stories to make Spencer and Y/N blush back and forth.

Before they knew it, it was 3 pm and visiting hours were coming to an end and Debbie’s shift was about to end as well. “Where are you both staying?” She asked.

“At a hotel downtown,” Y/N explained.

“Nonsense, stay with me and your father!” Debbie insisted.

Y/N shook her head, “we can come to visit for dinner tomorrow, but we need some space.”

“You know how it feels to be in love especially this young Deb, I’m sure you understand,” Diana patted her on the shoulder.

“Go on, have fun. But tomorrow dinner starts at 6:15, Levi and Lizzie also home this weekend,” Debbie smiled, hugging both Spencer and Y/N before Diana.

“Would Diana be able to come to dinner at our place?” Y/N asked.

“I think I can pull some strings,” Debbie agreed, “have a good night tonight guys.”

“We will,” Spencer smiled, taking Y/N’s hand and walking with her to the parking lot.

They both sighed as they sat in their rental car. “That went well,” Y/N said softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me you visited my mom?” Spencer asked, holding her hand again.

“I was going to, there’s so much I want to tell you but we haven’t had enough personal time to get through it all, every time we talk lately it’s about murder,” she replied.

“Let's go get a table at a nice restaurant and tell each other everything.”

“I have something to do first, can I drop you off at the hotel and meet you there?” She asked.

“absolutely.”

-—

She drove to her parent's place as fast as she could, they were all just sitting down in the living room when she walked in the door. “Hi sorry I can’t stay I just want to grab a dress from my closet.”

She kicked her shoes off and ran up the stairs to her bedroom just like she would have after school. Her room hadn’t changed much. Her desk was still in the corner, her bed was made, and her mom now used it for storage. There were boxes, lamps, pillows and a million folded blankets all resting on her bed and scattered along the floor.

She shuffled some things out of the way of her closet door and quickly looked through all the bagged dresses she had left here. Minoring in political science and volunteering with government organizations in college meant she had a dress for every occasion, times the 4 years she was there.

“Cocktail, dinner, black tie, prom, homecoming,” she flicked through them all, “funeral,” she said as she stopped. “Why is this here?”

She pulled out a black dress she wore to a democratic representatives fundraiser, it was an off-the-shoulder, 3/4 length sleeve, plunging neckline, skin-tight dress with a slit to show some leg. It was perfect.

She placed it on the edge of her bed and dug out the black heels that she originally bought to go with the dress. She found a strapless bra in her dresser, and a cute pair of underwear buried at the back of her drawer.

She closed her door and quickly changed, walking across the hall in her heels to fluff her hair in the mirror and figure out how the fuck she was going to do her makeup here.

Just then her brother's wife came walking up the stairs, “Y/N?” She knocked on the bathroom door before coming in.

“Hey Lizzie,” she smiled. “Do I look okay?” She asked.

Lizzie looked her up and down with a shocked look on her face, “yeah what’s the occasion? I didn’t even know you were home?”

“It’s a long story, my boyfriend and I were here on a case and we’re staying for the weekend, you get to meet him tomorrow!” She filled her in as she searched the bathroom drawers for makeup.

“What do you need?” She asked.

“Do you have your makeup kit here? We’re like the same shade right?”

Before she knew it, Lizzie was making her sit on the edge of the tub while she did Y/N’s makeup for her. “Remember when you did my prom makeup?” Lizzie asked.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “You and Levi looked so good together that night.”

“Not as good as you look right now, he’s going to eat you alive,” she hyped Y/N up.

“You think so?” Y/N asked, standing up to take a look in the mirror.

“Absolutely!!!”

She took a deep breath and shook the nerves out, “okay I have to go,” she said running back to her room for her phones, wallet and badge.

“Go get him, SSA Y/L/N,” Lizzie smiled as she watched y/n steadily run down the stairs in heels, clicking on the hardwood as she ran.

“Wait!” Her dad yelled from the table, “don’t I get to see you before you leave?”

She ran into the table room, quickly hugging her father at the head of the table and kissing him on his bald head. “I’m late for my date, I love you, I’ll be home tomorrow,” she said running back towards the front door and to her car.

She was like a mad chicken running around with her head cut off. She took a breather in the car before starting the engine and making her way back downtown.

--

She left her car out front with the valet, saying she would be back in a minute. She dug her phone out of her wallet and called Spencer. “I’m in the lobby.”

“I’ll be right there.”

She waited by the elevator, she pulled her boobs up into her bra and wiggled the wire till they looked okay, then she straightened her dress out. She never felt this nervous when she wore this dress the last time, she’s never felt this nervous period, actually.

Spencer Reid did something to her that she couldn’t quite describe. But if she had to, she’d say he makes her feel alive.

The elevator dinged and Spencer walked out in one of his best suits. He was looking down at his button as he stepped out not seeing her at first.

She smiled at him, waiting for him to look up. When he did his eyes grew three times their normal size and his mouth dropped. He stopped right in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders and lightly running his hands down her arms. “You never cease to amaze me.”

“Could say the same thing about you Dr. Reid,” Y/N teased as she pulled on his tie.

She pulled him down by his tie and pressed her lips against his. Never before had either of them been a big fan of PDA, but this was an exception.

She pulled back from him and tucked his tie back into his jacket. Smoothing out his sleeves before taking a step back and handing him the keys. “Lead the way doctor.”

He extended his arm to which she wrapped her arm around. He walked her to the front of the lobby, watching as the bellhop held the door for them.

Their car was still there, waiting with the valet who opened the door when he saw her return. She sat on the passenger side, fixing the slit of her dress to not show too much just yet.

Spencer joined her, sitting in the driver's seat he started the car and drove off.

He reached his hand over to place it on her thigh, where it belonged. He gripped her leg and felt down to where her holster was. She saw his eyebrow raise as he looked down, moving the side of her dress to see her gun strapped to her leg.

“Gonna shoot me if I’m not on my best behaviour tonight, agent?” He laughed.

“Nevada is a concealed carry state, and I don’t trust anyone,” she said. “Plus I look like this tonight, do you know what the crime rate is in Los Vegas-? Don’t answer that, of course, you do,” she teased him.

“It’s pretty hot,” he complimented her.

“What? The gun or my attitude?”

“The fact that you don’t take shit from anyone, you’re a badass and I never have to worry about you.”

“What if I want you to worry?”

“I’m always going to worry, I just mean you’re not a damsel in distress. I can go into every situation knowing you’re smarter on your feet than anyone on the team, and as long as you’re there we’re coming out alive,” he explained better.

“That’s the best compliment,” she felt bashful all of a sudden. She put her hand on his and squeezed it. “I love you, Spencer,” she finally told him.

“I love you too,” he smiled.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t said it back yet.”

He pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant they were going to, returning his focus fully to driving. He pulled into a parking spot and put the car in park.

“I knew you’d say it when you were ready, I’m in no rush to hear it,” he leaned over the centre console and kissed her on the lips.

He got out of the car and walked around to open her door, helping her out before extending an arm out for her once more.

He made a reservation while he was alone at the hotel, getting a table in the back away from everyone else. It was a round table with a booth stretching all the way around the table. The back of the chair tall enough to enclose them in their own little world for the time being.

They were at a cute little stake house, one where you got to pick the exact piece of meat you wanted and they did it however you asked. They ordered drinks and enough bread to make the waiter look at them differently.

“Tell me the most random fact about you,” Y/N asked as soon as the waiter left to tell the kitchen their order.

“When my mom’s schizophrenia started getting bad, she thought that the government used dryers to take our socks for DNA and clone us, so whenever one of my socks went missing she freaked out. After that, I started wearing mismatched socks all the time so that that way she would never notice which of the pairs were missing since I never wore them that way anyway.”

She smiled the whole time he talked, absolutely in love with him. He was her everything. “So that’s why I’ve got so many random socks around my house.”

“It’s worse at my apartment,” he smiled again. “Your turn.”

“The first time I ever rode a bike without training wheels was because I stole my neighbour's bike and took off with it down the road,” she laughed.

“Why?”

“I think my mom said I couldn’t take my own training wheels off yet, so I took matters into my own hands.”

“See?” He shook his head lightly. “Badass.”

“When was the last time you were in Vegas?” She asked.

“Earlier this year when we reopened the Riley Jenkins case,” he said softly.

“oh, my mom was telling me about that one! Your mom went off her meds to help remember if your dad was involved right?” Y/N recalled.

He nodded, “do you know what really happened?”

“I have the gist, Lou killed Gary in revenge for Riley.”

“That's not all of it,” he said lightly. “Gary was watching me, and my mom told Lou that the way he looked at me, he might have been the one who hurt Riley. And then she witnessed Lou kill Gary.”

“Holy shit Spence, I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “Did you know Gary was my neighbour?” ,

“No?”

“Yeah we were 4, my brother was 2 and my mom was pregnant again, and Gary kept taking photos of my brother through the fence. My dad threatened to kill him a few times and then we finally moved across town,” she explained.

“How is it that our lives were so intertwined, and yet it took 20 years for us to actually connect again?” He asked.

“The same thing happened to my parents.”

“What’s their story?” He asked.

She moved around the table to sit closer to him, taking his hand in hers. “My dad is 8 years older than my mom, they met when she was 17 and he was 26 and they became good friends like he was her older brother. They realized years later that my dad delivered newspapers to the town my mom lived in, and he saw her basically grow up playing in the yard. Then his best friend always invited him to his cabin and when he finally went, the lot across from them was my mom's family cabin. They were always so close but never knew each other till they were meant to. And now they’ve been happily married for 30 years.”

“There's an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other,” Spencer explained.

“It took 500 years of coincidences to bring us together,” she said softly. “Which kinda makes the 20 years of admiring you from afar not seem so long.”

“From here on out let’s make every moment count then,” Spencer suggested, “we’ve been barely dating for 3 weeks I’m not going to ask you to marry me right this instant, but I do intend to spend the rest of my life with you in whatever capacity I can. Because I think you’re it for me.”

She could bask in the feeling of her heart fluttering like this for the rest of her life, it was like butterflies but completely calm. True happiness at its finest.

“Let’s make a deal,” she said softly, “in 1 year we come back here, and if we feel the exact same way as we do right now, you can propose to me.”

He put his pinky out for her, she wrapped hers around his, before kissing each other's knuckles. “Promise.” Spencer and Y/N said at the same time.

—

Back in the hotel room, she didn’t even bat an eyelash before slamming Spencer against the door. She slid her thigh between both his legs and boxed him in.

She undid the single button of his suit jacket, shushing Spencer. She pushed it off his arms, knocking it to the floor. She loosened his tie, tossing it to the side, still around his neck, while she unbuttoned his shirt.

He was completely silent and still. She was in control.

She tossed his shirt to the ground next. Holding onto his tie as she pulled him down into a heated kiss.

“Take my dress off,” she breathed into his mouth, feeling his hands reach around her back for the zipper.

He pushed the sleeves down her arms, watching the dress gather at her ankles before she stepped out and kicked the fabric out of the way. She tugged him by his tie towards the bed.

“Strip,” she instructed him. “Not the tie.”

“Underwear too?” He asked as she dug through his suitcase.

“yes.”

She returned with 2 more ties. Looking at him, butt naked on the bed. She stepped out of her underwear and the uncomfortable strapless bra. She set her gun in the hotel safe with her badge and returned to the bed.

“Would you be willing to try something?” She asked.

“anything,” he said, overly eager.

“Would you tie my hands to the bedpost and blindfold me and just do whatever you want?”

“Hold on,” he got off the bed and opened his go-bag side pocket. “I have a blindfold for the plane.”

“So you want to?”

Actions speak louder than words, he would always say.

He dimmed the lights down, got on the bed and roughly picked her up laying her back against the pillows. He tied her left hand first, and then her right hand. He took a hair elastic off the bedside table and put her hair back as best he could before he rested the blindfold against her forehead.

He hovered over her. “Anything I want?” Spencer confirmed.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Ground rules?”

“Yellow for slow down, red for stop?” She shrugged.

“You really mean anything?”

“I trust you, Spencer Reid, make me feel good,” she smiled.

He kissed her on the nose before coving her eyes with the blindfold.

She had always wanted to try this, it was a kink she had always been determined to try. She took a deep breath and tried her best to listen to him as he moved to sit between her spread legs.

He ran his hands up her thighs, over her hips before following the curve to her waist. He gripped her waist tightly and leaned forward, pressing his mouth to her stomach, breathing her in as he kissed.

She wasn’t embarrassed about her tummy, for the first time in her life she loved her body. She felt him kiss all over her chest, dragging his bottom lip along her skin. He licked a stripe between her breasts, dropping his chin to her chest then to blow lightly over the wet trail.

She felt her nipples harden, she could physically hear the smirk that spread across his face.

He sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, cupping her breasts with his hands as he groped her lightly. She squirmed, trying her best to grind her hips against his.

He pushed her hips against the bed, “be patient.”

He disappeared then. She felt his weight shift and get off the bed. She let out a deep breath, knowing she told him he could do anything and that included punishing her. She literally asked for it.

“I picked something up after you dropped me off,” she heard him say from the other side of the room.

He walked around for a minute, taking something out of a hard plastic container. He struggled with ripping it, she heard papers fall the floor and something hard hit the floor. “Shit.”

She heard him walk towards the bathroom, she crossed her ankles and just waited.

He came back to the bed, moving her legs apart like they were when he left. “stay.”

He crawled between her legs once more, his hand brushed her thigh and it was cold and wet like he washed his hands.

“Can I touch you?” He asked softly. She nodded her head feverishly.

She heard a small buzzing, an all too failure sound. The first place she feels the vibration is in her belly button. Causing her to let out a shocked little giggle.

“Shhh,” he smiled.

He dragged the little bullet vibrator down her stomach, over her pelvis and finally, finally, against her clit. She let out a moan that sounded more like a sigh of relief.

All she wanted was for someone else to control her pleasure, surprise her, set the rhythm, the speed, everything. She spent so long pleasuring herself, she was so ready to sit back and just take it.

Spencer felt the same. He took his time, feeling every inch of her skin, kissing every single place he wanted to. He spent so much time just looking. Finding freckles and scars and kissing them. He was mesmerized by the fact she was real, that a beautiful woman would lay down in front of him, spread open like this and just let him explore. It felt like the best wet dream his brain could ever conjure.

She could feel him getting closer to her. His weight shifted and she felt his breath on her leg. She took a deep breath, sucking in her stomach in the anticipation of feeling a tongue on her for the first time ever.

He turned off the vibrator. Setting it to the side as he looped his arms around her thighs. Just admiring the view. Just then her whole body shivered as she anticipated the heat of his tongue.

He pressed a kiss to her clit first before flattening his tongue against her. “Sweet fucking Jesus Christ,” she gasped.

“I’ve never done this before,” he breathed against her.

“Explore away, sir,” she whispered.

He clearly did research, if he didn’t just say this was his first time eating someone out, she would think he was an expert. She regretted having her hands tied up at that moment. She squirmed, he held her hips down. She gripped the ties around her wrists wishing it was Spencer's hair.

She was never big into overstimulation or denial, never having the willpower to keep going after making herself cum once. Spencer, however, had the ability to bring her to the edge again and again without ever letting her spillover.

She didn’t beg, she didn’t complain, she sat there in the blissful feeling and waited. It was heavenly.

“Spence,” her breathing was heavy.

He hummed, letting her know he was listening. His tongue still wiggling back and forth on her clit.

“Can you please just fuck me now?”

He kissed his way back to her mouth. All up her stomach, over her breasts, her neck and jaw. She could taste herself on his lips, “untie me?” She asked softly.

He let one hand free, which she immediately used to grip his hair. The second hand was freed and she pushed the blindfold up and worked her way into a sitting position while he kneeled in front of her.

“Anything else you want to try?” She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking into his eyes once again. She pushed his hair out of his face and just looked at him.

“Lie back and roll over,” he instructed.

He pulled her into a face-down, ass-up position and aligned himself with her. Pushing in little by little till he bottomed out. He reached around the bed for the vibrator and placed it in her one hand.

“You decide when you cum,” was all he said before he started fucking her.

She white-knuckled the pillow as he rammed into her, she was arched in the most perfect way for him to hit her g spot every time he rammed into her.

“My hair,” she gasped, wanting him to grab her by her ponytail as he fucked her.

With one hand on her hip to steady her and the other in her hair, he fucked into her like his life depended on it. Her legs were quaking, she felt like she was going to explode if she didn’t cum soon.

She flicked on the vibrator and pressed it against her own clit, feeling the familiar heat bubble in her stomach. “Fuck me, oh god,” she chanted.

Cuming with a shout, she dug her face into the pillow and all but screamed. Pushing back against Spencer as he bucked into her one last time and erupted inside of her.

His hips shook as he emptied his load before slowly pulling out and dropping down beside her.

She turned her head to look at him, eyeliner and mascara all smudged around her eyes, makeup all over the pillow. She was trying her hardest to catch her breath, staring at him with a smile on her face.

“If sex was an Olympic sport, I think we’d win,” she complimented him.

“you think?” He asked, his breath just as shaky as hers.

She rolled onto her back, letting him cuddle into her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. “Everyone told me that the first time I have sex it’ll be underwhelming and uneventful, and yet every time we fuck I feel like I’ve run a marathon and I should invest in a wheelchair.”

He laughed, “would you put that in writing and send it to everyone from our high school?”

She smacked his arm. “and then I’d have to swat women off you with a bat if I wanted any alone time, you’re mine now.” She wrapped her whole body around him and held him there.

“I love you,” Spencer smiled.

“I love you, more.”

chapter 5

They packed everything into their car just to go to her parents house. There was something in Y/N’s gut that told her there was a case coming.

Her parents lived 30 minutes out of the city, on the edge of a cul-de-sac that faced a park. They had lived there since she was 5, it was her mom’s dream home. It was the only place in the town she had good memories in.

Y/N’s mother brought Diana home with her after work. They were waiting in the kitchen for Spencer and Y/N when they arrived. Tonights guests included not just them but Y/N’s youngest brother Levi, his wife Lizzie and their 2 year-old Chloe.

“There’s my girl!” Her dad cheered, standing up and rushing to give her a real hug. “Did you get taller?”

“it’s the boots,” she laughed, holding onto him tightly.

“You look great! The FBI is treating you well,” her dad was always one to compliment her. He pulled back and looked at Spencer. More like glared at him.

“Nice to meet you Sir, I’m Doctor Spencer Reid,” he said, shockingly extending his hand to shake her father's.

The profiler in her knew he was breaking his comfort zone to appease her baby boomer, ex-cop, father.

Her dad always did this thing when he met new men where he squeezed their hands to see how much they could take. “Harrison Y/L/N Sr.” She watched Spencers hand shake as he squeezed right back.

“Strong shake.” Her father complimented him. “She must have warned you.”

“No, he just knows how to read people,” Y/N laughed.

“Well come sit down Doctor Spencer Reid,” he teased him. “Let me interrogate the profiler.”

“Here we go,” Y/N laughed, placing a hand on Spencer's back as she led him into the kitchen.

They sat down together, Spencers mom, Diana, just across from him at the table. They smiled and nodded at each other in a quiet little hello.

“I would ask you to tell me a bit about yourself, but Y/N has kept me all caught up with you over the years,” her dad said. “You went to CalTech at 13, somewhere in there you got a degree from MIT, she idolized you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she blushed.

“It’s very flattering, but if anything I’m now huge fan of her’s. In the last 3 weeks she has been the one to find the major break in 3 of our cases. She is amazing at what she does, you raised an incredible woman,” Spencer replied, praising her in a way that made her heart flutter.

“Go on then, tell us about these cases then,” her dad asked.

And with that they got lost in all things horrific. Spencer explained, verbatim, how each case went down and exactly what Y/N came up with to solve them. She answered little questions here and there but mostly it was Spencer showing off how much he loved his girlfriend.

Her mom passed out dinner plates in the middle of the talk, some how all of them were able to discuss cases and eat at the same time. Her mom made burgers and potato salad for dinner, just something simple for them all.

“Did you really offer to fuck a serial killer?” Her brother asked, disgusted.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I knew in his sick twisted mind he wouldn’t be able to refuse a woman willing to let him do what he wanted and as soon as the weapon was down, so was he.”

“I always told you she’d be able to kick your ass, Levi,” her dad said. “Ever since she was a kid I knew she had it in her to wrestle someone to the ground.”

“Yeah, Spence didn’t believe me that I’m combat trained.”

“No,” Spencer interjected, “It’s not that I didn’t believe you, I just didn’t ever think you’d be able to take me down.”

“And did you?” Her mom asked.

Her face turned bright red. “Yeah, I showed one of my combat maneuvers on him, we were all horsing around and I showed them how to go from being pinned to the ground to being the one on top.”

“How?” Her brother’s wife asked.

“Yeah demonstrate!” Her mom innocently cheered them on not knowing she was mid sex with him when she showed him how to do it.

“Um okay, Lizzie come with me,” she said, saving Spencer the awkwardness of having to straddle her in the middle of her family home.

She laid down on the floor, “you basically have to just pin me down how ever you see fit.”

Lizzie, sat on her, holding her shoulders down with one forearm. Y/N, quickly flipped her onto her back, making sure to catch her head as she did so. Not wanting her to smack it off the hardwood floor.

“Like that,” Y/N stood up and helped Lizzie to her feet. “Made sure all the girls knew how to do that.” She lied.

“As you should!” Her dad cheered, “nice to know your team all has each others backs.”

“How do they all feel about you two?” Diana asked. She had been mostly quiet all night, just enjoying time outside of where she was used to.

“They love it, they’ve been placing bets about us,” Y/N laughed.

“Like what?” Her dad asked.

“If he would kiss me first, if we’d tell the team ever, they even had one about who is most likely to say I love you first, they’re insufferable,” Y/N ranted.

“So what team one?” Her brother teased, just trying the embarrass her.

“He kissed me first, he told the team that we were together after like 10 hours and he was the first to say I love you,” Y/N blushed.

“Does she still have the I love you problem?” Her mom asked innocently but received a death glare from Y/N.

“Uh no, she says it to me too.” Spencer noticed the awkwardness.

“Any plans for baby number two?” Y/N asked Levi, changing the subject faster than ever.

She’d be lying if she said she was listening to the answer, her ears were ringing and all she cold focus on was Spencer’s hand on her back. Her mom was about to pass out cake when she excused herself to the bathroom, and ended up in her old bedroom.

She sat down on the edge of the bed, hearing the words her mother said over and over in her mind. “Does she still have the I love you problem?”

She rubbed her hands over her eyes and just breathed. She didn’t want him to know about that yet.

Spencer knocked on her door, opening it softly and peaking his head in. “Do you want company?”

She nodded.

He kneeled down on the floor in front of her, running his hands along her thighs. “Are you okay?”

“I told you about Christopher?” She said softly.

“yes.”

“In order to get me to do what he did, he would always say I had to because he loved me,” she explained. A tear dripped down her cheek and landed on his hand. “And so for 7 years after I never told anyone I knew that I loved them.”

“That’s okay, you went through trauma. You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he soothed her.

“I want to though because, before you, I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand love, I thought it was weird and forceful and something dependent on coercion,” her voice was so tiny, she didn’t want anyone else hearing her. “Loving you is light and fluffy and special and safe, I didn’t want you to think just now that I said it this weekend to get it over with or something because I truly do love you.

He pulled her into a kiss, “I love you, more.”

She laughed, “we’ll see about that.”

—

Y/N and Diana were doing the dishes as her mom packed the leftover food into Tupperware containers. Debbie was just about to ask who wanted coffee when Y/N’s phone started to ring.

She sighed, drying her hands on a dishtowel before answering the phone. “SSA Y/N Y/L/N.”

“There’s been an explosion at a mall in Los Angeles and reports of 4 more planned, how fast can you and Reid get to LA?” Hotch asked.

“Um, we’re about 45 minutes from the airport.”

“We’re 4 hours out, we want you and Reid there ASAP. Is there any way we could send a helicopter to get you?”

“Yes, there’s a soccer field across the street from my parent's house, Garcia knows the address she can direct them where to go, we’ll be ready.”

“Debrief has already been sent to your phones, I need you and Reid to go to the LA field office and start communication with Garcia on victimology.”

“Got it.” She said as she hung up. “Spence we have to go!”

“What’s wrong?” Diana asked.

“We have an emergency in LA, they need us there immediately. There’s a helicopter coming to get us,” Y/N explained as she walked around the room towards her go-bag.

She unzipped it, unfolding her bullet-proof vest and putting it on. She adjusted her gun and made sure she had everything she needed. Spencer did the same at the table beside her.

“You are a badass,” her dad complimented her, filming her getting her gear on. “This is my daughter! FBI superhero! Kickass tonight kid!” He had an affinity for embarrassing her, but an even bigger obsession with showing her off.

He was like that with all of his children, first with her brother Harrison in the army, then with her other brother Levi and his swat training. Now his daughter was catching serial killers like it was nothing.

“Okay, we gotta go, the helicopter will be landing in that field in 3 minutes. Dad are you okay to take the car back to the dealership if this takes a while? We will be back for our suitcases after the case, I love you guys.” She said. handing her father the car keys and moving to put her shoes on.

“Got everything?” Spencer asked.

“Yep,” she smiled.

They walked out the door and across the street. Most of the neighbourhood watched a helicopter land in the soccer field as the sun was setting. They ducked as they ran getting in the chopper and strapping in.

“Agent Valdez, Nevada PD!” the officer in the pilot seat introduced herself. “We have just over an hour till we land, use the headsets to communicate with me if you need to!”

And they were off. She looked down to see her family waving up at them from their houses as the neighbours she grew up around took photos and videos of them leaving.

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked.

Y/N took out her phone and read over the debrief, “tonight at The Grove in Los Angeles, a small bomb went off killing 6 people and injuring 31.”

“Where did it go off?” Reid asked.

“Inside a small dress store that has been renting the space for the last 7 years,” Y/N confirmed. “I’m sure Garcia is looking into everyone who was injured or killed as well as the current and former employees.”

“It says here that the person who called 911 before the bomb went off warned of 3 bombs to come. Saying; ‘4 bombs in total the first in clear, the next is where her checks would clear.’” Reid read from the phone.

“So we need to find a connection between the dress store and a bank in the area,” Y/N said. “We need to go over that call more, have Garcia look into every aspect of the sound.”

“Where did Hotch say he wants us?” Reid asked.

“At the LA field office, he wants us working behind the scenes in correspondence with Garcia.”

Spencer sighed, “well, our weekend was fun while it lasted.

9:42pm PST

By the time the rest of the team landed and Hotch and JJ arrived at the field office, another 2 bombs had gone off at a Liberty Bank downtown LA.

“Garcia, do we have any connection from the dress shop to the bank yet?” Hotch asked.

“Nothing Sir, I have dug and dug and there isn’t a single person with a connection to both the bank and the dress shop within the last few months, I'm widening back 2-5 years but still nothing,” Garcia panicked over the phone.

“Is there any possibility our unsub is female? This to me feels like a scorned lover, maybe her husband is paying someone under the table who is cashing checks at that exact ATM that exploded and then went and bought a dress,” Y/N suggests.

“Garcia run with that as far as you can and call us back,” Hotch ordered.

“On it!” She cheered before hanging up.

Spencer looked around at all the info he and Y/N brainstormed while waiting for the team. “a female unsub would make the most sense.”

“Did we get any more clues for where the next bomb will be?” JJ asked.

Agent Cunningham from the LA field office shook his head, “nothing at the scene or over 911, we’re on the lookout for any suspicious calls and tips currently.”

“If you were cheating on your wife, after going to the bank and the dress shop where does she go with you next?” Y/N asked Hotch.

“Uh,” he shook his head, clearly faithful to his wife. “Dinner and a hotel?”

“So those are possibly the next two targets,” Y/N said, “but finding out what restaurant and hotel in the entirety of LA is like finding a needle in a needle stack.”

“I hate to say it,” JJ sighed, “but we might need one more explosion before we get a breakthrough.”

“All we can do is hope for minimal damage,” Y/N shot a soft smile over to her, “till then, what kind of woman in the area could make the type of bombs that are being used?”

“Almost anyone,” Morgan said as he walked into the room. “I was just looking at the debris and shrapnel, it’s a fairly simple bomb that anyone with basic knowledge or internet access could make.”

Hotch called Garcia once more. “Can you start a search for women 35-55 who are married, ask the NSA if we can search through any women in the LA area googling how to make bombs in the last month.”

“Of course, I’ve also been looking at the past transactions of the specific ATMs that were targeted, 13 of the people depositing cash and cheques there, recently bought dresses from the store at The Grove.”

“Any of them look like they are partaking in an affair?” Y/N asked.

“2 of them are lesbian women, 3 are drag queens and the other 8 are girls in high school depositing birthday money,” Garcia explained.

“Well thanks for looking, hopefully, the NSA has some hits for us,” Hotch said as he hung up. “I guess we wait.”

11:56pm

“We’ve got reports of an explosion in an all-female dorm at UCLA,” one of the LA agents said as he burst through the door.

“Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi,” Hotch said, “go to the scene and find out everything.”

Y/N called Garcia, “as soon as we know what room the explosion was in I need you to go back 10 years of women who lived in that dorm room and their connections to older men. Sugar daddies, teachers, anyone.”

“The 911 call shortly after the bomb say it was heard on the first floor, possibly room 119 as that's where the blast was heard. Luckily the girl who was supposed to be in that room was with her friend down the hall so we currently have no casualties here,” Garcia explained.

“Thank god,” JJ exclaimed, placing her hand over her eyes.

“In the last 10 years, 6 different women have all had that room,” Garcia said as she narrowed down her search. “Okay, here we go this is the juicy stuff!”

“What is it?” Hotch asked.

“From 2000 to 2002 Maggie Burton was working on a science degree at UCLA. She was working part-time, both years, as the main Chemistry professor's teaching assistant, she was depositing money from him bi-weekly to Liberty Bank.”

“Okay, who was the professor?” Spencer asked.

“Michael Thompson, 56, but that would be too simple now wouldn’t it?” Penelope teased. “Thompson is gay and has been in a domestic partnership since 1998, his Partner Adam Pearson, however, is bisexual according to the sugar daddy website he’s on,” she explained further. “Whether Maggie knows it or not, she had been getting paid to be Thompson's TA, as well as his boyfriend sugar baby.”

“So our unsub is Michael Thompson?” Hotch confirmed.

“By the looks of it, yes. Maggie stopped being a TA when she graduated and now she works with a cosmetics developer downtown. Every week she deposits 500 cash to the ATM, which is the exact amount of cash Adam has been withdrawing for the last 7 years,” she kept explaining, they could hear her keyboard clicking as she kept digging. “Look’s like Adam is filing to remove the domestic partnership and he bought a ring last week.”

“There’s the trigger,” Spencer confirmed. “Do we have a home and work address as well as where the next bomb would be?”

“Adam checked into a Hilton hotel downtown, suite 613 which he has been booking once a month for the last 7 years,” Garcia confirmed. “Sending the locations now.”

“I need a bomb squad sent to the Hilton hotel, evacuations should be done floor by floor saving floor 6 for last, I need agents on floor 6 to evacuate all rooms, except for 613, quietly without making a scene.”

“Sir, suit 612 was booked only for tonight by Michael Thompson, using cash,” Garcia cut him off.

“All rooms but 612 and 613 are to be evacuated, I need a direct line on the scene to room 612 when we arrive,” Hotch ordered as they all hurried towards the elevator.

—

On the scene, Reid, Y/L/N and JJ were sent up with the bomb squad to floor 6. Red lights in the stairwell were flashing to alert that there was an evacuation taking place, but the building was silent.

There were 14 rooms on floor 6, 4 of them being rented that night. Rooms 601 and 608 were the only two they had to focus on to evacuate.

JJ quietly knocked on room 601, “Hi sir,” she whispered. “My name is Jennifer, I’m with the FBI. We need to quietly evacuate this floor, if you wouldn’t mind grabbing your necessities and any other guests in the room, an officer will escort you down the stairs. In the parking lot across the street, there are people issuing refunds and information about relocations for the night.”

The man nodded, he quickly grabbed his things and followed an officer down the hall.

Y/N knocked on 608 next, a young woman answered. “Hi, my name is Y/N, I’m with the FBI. We need to quietly evacuate this floor-“

“I have 2 kids with me,” she whispered.

“Okay, are they awake?” JJ asked.

“My daughter, she’s 2, she’s out cold. My son is watching TV, oh my god my husband isn’t here,” she quietly panicked.

“Ma’am it’s fine, we have officers here to assist you down the stairs and across the street, there are relocation preparations being made. If you don’t mind, I can help you carry your daughter down the stairs?” Spencer said softly.

“Yes, absolutely.” She said, running into the room to gather all her things.

Spencer lifted the little girl up softly, not waking her at all in the process. He held her against his chest softly while the mother grabbed their necessities and her 6-year-old son before followed Spencer down the stairs.

JJ and Y/N stood in the stairwell, Y/N picked up her radio and called down to Hotch. “All civilians on the 6th floor have been evacuated.”

“Any movement in 612?”

“Yes sir,” one of the bomb squad members said. “With our tech, we can see 2 bodies in 613 and 1 in 612, all alive.”

“Any idea how many bombs were talking about?” Hotch asked.

“Not yet, we need a clear look inside the room. Snipers on the building across the street say the blinds are closed,” he explained.

“Hotch, have you gotten in contact with him at all?” JJ asked.

“No, he won't pick up,” hotch confirmed.

“Would you like one of us to knock?” Y/N asked.

“Not yet, I want you both to come down. If we’re knocking on his door we need to have a full plan in place,” Hotch ordered.

“Over,” Y/N said. Following JJ back down the 6 flights of stairs.

Down at the base of operations, Spencer was still holding onto the 2-year-old as the mother called her husband. He shushed her and held her close with a blanket over her back as she slept.

“Hotch,” JJ got his attention. “I noticed each room has vents on the connected walls, is there any way to get into 611 and snake in a camera to see what we’re dealing with?”

“That was my next suggestion,” a SWAT office said as he shook her hand. “We’re prepping the equipment now.”

“Can we also spray a sleeping agent through the vents? If we knock out the unsub we can just drag him out and see what’s going on?” Y/N suggested.

“Yeah that would work,” the SWAT officer said, “we have a sleeping agent in a compressed gas form that we can spray through the vents.”

“Okay, just in 612,” Hotch confirmed. Y/N I want you and Morgan up there to assist in making sure Maggie and Adam are evacuated safely while the bomb squad looks at what we have going on.”

“On it,” she and Morgan said at the same time.

One of the SWAT officers pulled them aside, handing them protective gear for the gas that will erupt into the hallway. She waved to Spencer in the lot as she headed across the street with the SWAT team. They ran up the stairs, it was exhausting but Y/N pushed through, up the six flights. They quietly unlocked room 611 and filled the room with officers.

First, they snaked a small camera through the vent, the image showing on the screen right away, “you seeing this Hotch?” Morgan asked over the radio.

“Crystal.”

“It’s a wall of C4,” one of the Bomb Squad officers quietly confirmed. “Fairly simple to dismantle, it looks like it’s a manual switch. Wait till he crosses the room, and then spray the gas. We need officers to be in the room as it’s sprayed. He needs to hit the floor nowhere close to the detonator.”

Morgan quietly opened the door and assembled the team in the hall, making movements with his hands as he instructed the men. The door kicker was in place, the officers were ready to file in.

The swat agent deployed the gas, they watched on the monitor as the unsub turned to look at the hissing sound, inspecting it before hitting the ground.

“NOW!” Morgan yelled. The door was knocked in and the unsub was in handcuffs.

Y/N ran to 613, knocking on the door as hard as she could. “FBI OPEN UP!” She yelled.

A half-naked man opened the door, “what?” He yelled.

“We need to evacuate the building right now, cover-up and follow me.” She ordered as the two victims covered themselves and followed her down the stairs.

Halfway down, she got a call over the radio. “Bomb has been defused, all clear on floor 6.”

“Bomb?” The man questioned.

“Yes sir,” Y/N confirmed. “your partner, and your science teacher, Michael Thompson, has been bombing places around the city that you two have been to, and was planning to blow you up tonight.”

“What the fuck?” Maggie asked.

“He’s under arrest, you’ll have your chance to ask him questions in court,” Y/N confirmed as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

She held the door for them and watched as they were whisked away by EMTs. She waited for another set for the unsub before turning around and running all the way back up the 6 flights to Morgan.

Morgan was standing over the cuffed, unconscious, unsub in the hallway. “Good job pretty girl!” Morgan high-fived her.

“Thanks,” she smiled, “let's get this bastard down into the ambulance. The elevators should go back up in a minute.”

“What? No more stairs?” Morgan teased.

“I might not be able to feel my legs tomorrow, I’ve been up and down those too many times tonight!” She smacked him.

“Sure that’s why,” he laughed as they waited for the elevator.

—

Spencer and Y/N packed up that night and took a short trip back to Los Vegas. By the time they arrived back on her parent's doorstep it was 5:32 am. 12 hours since they were last there.

She sighed at the front door and called her parent's home phone. “Hello?” Her father's sleep-ridden voice answered.

“Hey dad, it’s Y/N can you come open the front door for me? Please.” She asked nicely.

“Yep.” He hung up.

She watched the hall light come on from the front door. Waiting for him to slowly make his way down the stairs to the front hallway. He unlocked the door and welcomed them in.

“Your mom cleaned off your bed in case this happened,” he whispered, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“5:30, go back up to bed, we’ll lock back up, thank you,” she hugged him and sent him on his way.

She sighed and sunk down to sit on the bottom step. She tugged her boots off and left them in the hallway. Spencer picked them up and moved them to be in order with the rest of the shoes. He locked her parent's front door and turned off the entryway light.

“You need water or anything before bed?” Y/N asked.

“No, come on,” he took her hand and walked with up the stairs to her bedroom.

She closed the door behind him, peeling out of her clothes and climbing into bed first. She got under the covers and moved the pillows around to make sure they were how she liked them.

Spencer crawled in beside her, wearing just his socks and underwear. He laid flat on his back while she cuddled into his side. He kissed the top of her head and let out a deep breath as he settled into relaxation finally.

“I love you,” she reminded him.

“I love you, more.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #hypothetically

[robininthelabyrinth]

The Quiet Room

- Chapter 6 - ao3 - (previous tumblr pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5)

The Lan sect’s rules said Learning comes first, and that was because learning was the root of all things.

Humans were changeable and ever-changing, molded by their heritage and their environment; it was through careful education that they learned to comprehend goodness – it was only through constant learning that they could keep themselves walking on the path of righteousness.

Learning from books, learning from others, learning from one’s own mistakes; it didn’t matter.

What was important was that you couldn’t stop learning.

You had to keep moving forward.

Lan Wangji had for some time entertained the thought that his life had stopped when Wei Wuxian’s had. It had felt as though it had: it felt as if his heart had been irrevocably shattered, like a priceless vase that had once contained all his tender feelings – all those feelings that, lacking their container, would now slip through his fingers forever, leaving him as empty as a soulless puppet. He’d thought he was doomed never to love again, never to learn again, all his mind consumed with nothing by memories.

He’d been wrong, of course.

Even with Wei Wuxian gone, he was still learning.

There were his recent meditations on the subject of silence and noise, for one.

There were his wards, for another.

Lan Sizhui was a polite and thoughtful child, inquisitive but a little shy and hesitant, a little fearful to assert himself – a little too quiet, in a way that Lan Wangji was starting to be able to recognize as being not good, a silence and reticence born of concern and anxiety rather than genuine introversion. Luckily, there was also Lan Jingyi, who was and had always been the liveliest and most spirited of children, and yet he, too, was just a little bit too loud in a way that reflected his own method of displaying anxiety, another startling realization that was brand new.

Lan Wangji had always associated quiet with reserve and self-control, noise with carelessness and recklessness, but being in the controlled chaos of Qinghe and really sincerely listening to it, accepting it, came with its own set of revelations. He found that there were people who were naturally loud and those that made themselves be loud, just as there were those who were quiet and those who were forced into quietude. Lan Jingyi worried just as much as the next person, but he displaced those feelings through distraction rather than through the force of his willpower, taking on the role of clown or hero as suited each moment, unafraid to cast himself in the role of aggressor if it would allow Lan Sizhui the chance to play the mediator. The subconscious division of roles allowed Lan Sizhui to feel useful and in control, reducing his anxiety, while Lan Jingyi got to feel taken care of, which reduced his own – it was good, in a way, but after some consideration Lan Wangji carefully took them both in hand and told them that they would need to be more thoughtful about it.

Lan Sizhui could not, should not, always have to be the peacemaker, always yielding and kind and gentle and quiet: he deserved to be loud, too. He deserved to be assertive, to be heard, to feel entitled to take up space regardless of his utility to those around him. He should never feel like he had to pay in service for the right to exist.

And by the same token, Lan Jingyi shouldn’t feel burdened to always have to be the one to take the first step, always acting as the driving force, the loud and opinionated one. He should have the opportunity, and the obligation, to think through what he was doing or saying, to be thoughtful and careful, to sometimes yield if he wished; he should be granted space of his own to make sure that his actions were what he wished them to be rather than some impulse.

Lan Wangji only wished he’d had the wisdom to tell Wei Wuxian the same thing while he’d been alive.

He’d been so short-sighted when he was younger, at first unable to recognize how he felt about the man and then unable to figure out how to speak with him – he’d been unable to break his own habitual silence, and equally unable to see the depths concealed in Wei Wuxian’s brash arrogance, especially towards the end. Like Lan Jingyi, Wei Wuxian’s reckless courage was genuine, especially in the happy days of their youth; like Lan Jingyi, when things got bad, Wei Wuxian had taken refuge in more of the same, building himself walls made of noise that were designed to keep everyone out.

Wei Wuxian might have been noisy and loud, right to the very end, but in his own way he’d been just as alone as Lan Wangji in his excess of quiet.  

The next generation, Lan Wangji thought fiercely, would do better.

He felt comforted by that thought.

The children were chewing over Lan Wangji’s words as they walked along the outmost ramparts of the Unclean Realm, already inured to the glittering barrier that hung in their sky, full of arrays and inscriptions – they were accompanying Lan Wangji on his daily walk.

The Nie sect’s doctors had a very different regimen for curing illnesses than the Lan sect’s, he’d found. Thirty-three strikes of the discipline whip: in both places he’d gotten stitched back up, but while the Lan sect doctors had allowed him to retreat into seclusion, prescribing medicine and rest and self-reflection, the Nie sect doctors insisted on coupling medicine and meditation with exercise. Intermittent and gradual exercise, meant to increase flexibility and reduce muscle atrophy – it wasn’t really that different from what Lan Wangji had been left to do on his own back at home, but he found that it was easier to struggle against his stubborn body when he had company to encourage him to take that extra step beyond his limits, their voices pushing him when his own willpower was insufficient. Even the silent presence of the two children, walking beside him, helped him find the reason to keep going.

Truly, there was much to consider on the subject of quiet and noise, of loud and soft, of loneliness and isolation and how no amount of either introversion nor extroversion could alone save you from them.

Lan Wangji was still thinking it over when he heard a new noise.

It was also an old noise, painfully familiar from all those days of war – before he even consciously identified what the sound was, his back had straightened, his legs sinking into a prepared pose, his mind already summoning his spiritual energy to the forefront in case he needed to defend himself.

Cultivators, flying on swords at speed.

Lan Wangji looked up and saw them: men and women both, a small group – a forward scouting troop, small enough to be subtle and sneak ahead to see what was happening but large enough to ensure someone would be able to return to the main force and warn them if they did find something.

They were dressed in the colors of Yunmeng Jiang, and it was Jiang Cheng leading them.

Lan Wangji’s back stiffened.

He had not seen Jiang Cheng since the massacre at the Nightless City, although he’d heard the stories of how he had turned against his own shixiong and led the greatest of the forces that besieged the Burial Mounds. He’d decided then that he’d never wanted to see Jiang Cheng ever again – he hadn’t been able to comprehend how Jiang Cheng could do a thing like that to Wei Wuxian, who he’d loved.

He still didn’t understand, but he thought, perhaps, that he ought to be a little less hasty in judging others by his own standards.

He’d done enough of that.

“Hanguang-jun!” Jiang Cheng called, seeing him, and pulled ahead of all the other Jiang sect cultivators, leaving them hanging back warily. Lan Wangji turned to face him, conscious of the two young children still clinging to his hands and now half-hiding behind his robes – conscious, too, of the shimmering but translucent barrier that divided them from Jiang Cheng, the barrier that had been raised to protect the Unclean Realm from Lan Wangji’s own brother and all the mistakes he had made, well-meaning as they were. “Hanguang-jun, good, you can tell me, what is the meaning of…”

Jiang Cheng trailed off, his eyes suddenly wide and almost bulging from the force of how hard he was staring at Lan Wangji.

“Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Wangji said politely in greeting – or, well, politely enough.

“Lan Wangji,” Jiang Cheng said in return, his voice sounding strangled. “What…happened?”

Far too much to explain, so Lan Wangji didn’t, just waited for Jiang Cheng to continue with a more specific question.

“I mean, uh. The beacon went off,” Jiang Cheng said. He was still gawking, looking as though he were about to fall off his sword any second. “The – you know the one, the one that shows when a sect’s barrier defenses have been activated. I thought...”

He’d assumed there was an invasion, Lan Wangji realized, and had rushed over at once to try to help forestall it. It was a reasonable assumption, and a noble response: having once lost everything without being able to rely on the help of others, Jiang Cheng now sought to be the help that he had not had.

It was the sort of thing a righteous person would do, and in line with what Lan Wangji thought he’d known of Jiang Cheng’s character.

And yet…Jiang Cheng had still turned his back on Wei Wuxian.

Time and time again, he’d turned away fro him.

“I came to find out what happened, why they put up the shield,” Jiang Cheng continued. “I brought people with me to help, though I left them back a ways so it wouldn’t be an insult. And now I’m here and – and you’re here – and you’re…just…it’s…Lan Wangji, what happened to your forehead ribbon?”

Lan Wangji arched his eyebrows. “Is that your primary concern?”

Jiang Cheng waved his hands around, almost flailing, and Lan Wangji couldn’t quite help but feel a sudden stab of amusement – and then of sorrow, because the flailing was almost painfully familiar. He had seen Wei Wuxian do much the same when he encountered something unexpected, whether some threat or some new maneuver by the Wen sect or, in one notable instance, the unanticipated appearance of a fish in a place where one would not normally expect fish to be.

“I have taken a leave of absence from the Lan sect,” Lan Wangji finally explained, deciding to be magnanimous and take pity on his former comrade in arms. “The Nie sect has permitted me to remain with them while I determine my next course of action. As for the shield, there is no imminent invasion. The situation is – complicated.”

Jiang Cheng huffed. “You don’t say!”

Still, the explanation seemed to help steady him, somewhat, and Lan Wangji observed that Jiang Cheng did not look his best: tired, with circles under his eyes and an unhealthy skin tone. Too much work, too little rest, and probably nightmares…because of what had happened to Wei Wuxian, perhaps? But if so, why had he done it in the first place?

“I cannot let you in,” Lan Wangji added, even though technically he had one of the only remaining guest tokens that still functioned. Jiang Cheng nodded, seemingly having expected that. “I can escort you to the sect leader’s quarters to have your request for admission approved.”

That the person approving the request would probably be Nie Huaisang, Lan Wangji did not say – not so much out of caution, which would probably be justified, but rather out of a completely inexplicable urge to see Jiang Cheng start flailing once again upon finding out.

Was this how Wei Wuxian felt all the time?

Interesting.

He began to walk again, the children at his sides slowly coming out, and Jiang Cheng did him the courtesy of not mentioning how slow and stiff he was, although Lan Wangji thought he remembered enough of Jiang Cheng’s mannerisms to interpret the twisted grimace on his face as he glanced over time and time again as a look of concern.

After a little while in which Lan Wangji walked and Jiang Cheng floated alongside him on his sword, the Jiang sect cultivators lagging behind by a respectable distance, the children getting over their fear to start looking around again, Jiang Cheng finally cleared his throat.

“There’s a medicinal blend of herbs that can counteract the anti-clotting effects of the discipline whip,” he said. Lan Wangji glanced at him: Jiang Cheng was staring forward, not looking at him at all any more. “It makes it heal faster. I can pass the prescription along to the Nie sect’s pharmacists, if you like.”

Jiang Cheng had also been struck by the discipline whip, Lan Wangji suddenly remembered. It had been a matter of deep embarrassment for him during the war, making him reluctant to remove clothing even when they were rancid with blood and poisonous fumes.

“Thank you,” he said, and for some reason the children took that as their cue that Jiang Cheng was actually all right and burst out in a flood of questions.

Lan Jingyi wanted to know how Jiang Cheng’s clothing had gotten to be such a vivid shade of purple, while Lan Sizhui was more curious about his sword and how shiny it was – the concerns of children, unburdened by the memories or concerns of adults. Their questions made Jiang Cheng smile, and Lan Wangji thought briefly of the orphaned Jin Ling, who had been temporarily given to Jiang Cheng’s custody to pick up some of the traditions of his maternal sect. A fancy way of saying that the Jin sect wanted him out of the way for a few years until he was worth teaching their own ways to, but Lan Wangji suspected Jiang Cheng would have taken any excuse at all to remain close to his kin.

“What, now children aren’t too noisy for you?” Jiang Cheng asked Lan Wangji, and for the first time it occurred to Lan Wangji that the tossed out words, broken off and abrupt, might be meant as a friendly tease.

“I am reevaluating my relationship with silence,” he said, and Jiang Cheng smirked, amused.

“I bet you are,” he said. “Nie Huaisang alone would drive a man to distraction…”

Lan Jingyi laughed and clapped and that, and, inspired, Lan Sizhui followed suit.

And then, suddenly, Jiang Cheng frowned.

“A-Yuan,” he said, and Lan Wangji was suddenly cold from head to toe, the chattering of the children suddenly too loud in his ears: he had forgotten that Jiang Cheng had also visited the Burial Mounds. “That’s – that’s A-Yuan, isn’t it?”

“Jiang Wanyin…” Lan Wangji started, his voice sticking in his throat, then trailed off. He did not know what he could say that would work to convince Jiang Cheng that he was wrong when he was right, but neither could he admit to the truth. Even if Nie Mingjue had been kind enough to allow Lan Wangji to come to the Nie sect to stay, and to bring the two children with him, that had been under the premise that they were Lan sect children. If he ever found out that Lan Sizhui had been born surnamed Wen…

Nie Mingjue would not hurt a child, he was too righteous for that. But he might not be inclined to let that child grow up in his sect, either.

Jiang Cheng’s face was twisted in a strange sort of way, as if he couldn’t decide to be angry or relieved. “I thought he’d died,” he murmured, more to himself. “I thought…what is that?”

Lan Wangji was momentarily confused by the question, focused as he was by the terrifying implications of Jiang Cheng’s discovery, but then he saw that Jiang Cheng’s gaze went further into the distance.

He turned to look, then felt twist of unpleasantness deep in his belly: there was his brother in the sky, flying to the main gate on Shuoyue, and beside him was Jin Guangyao.

Why did you have to bring him? Lan Wangji thought, unhappy, but he already knew the answer to that. His brother trusted Jin Guangyao. Why wouldn’t he bring him?

If only he would trust the rest of them as much as he trusted that liar.

“We can discuss Lan Sizhui later,” Lan Wangji said, careful to emphasize both the surname and the courtesy name he’d given him – painfully obvious now that he thought about it, though at the time it had seemed only appropriate, the only name he could bestow that fit – and quickened his steps. “Now that my brother has arrived, things will become difficult.”

He wondered, a little bitterly, if his brother had even noticed that he was gone, or if he had been so thoroughly forgotten in his enforced ‘seclusion’ that it hadn’t even been thought of as a possibility.

“Lan Wangji!”

Lan Wangji came to a stop at Jiang Cheng’s shout. Suddenly full of anger, he turned his head back – surely Jiang Cheng didn’t hate Wei Wuxian so much that he wouldn’t let the matter of a small child go, even in the midst of a crisis?

Jiang Cheng was pointing into the distance. Strangely enough, it was not in the direction of the main gate, where Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao were even now landing, but somewhere even further beyond.

“Do you see it?” Jiang Cheng demanded, and his eyes were suddenly wild, his breathing disordered; he seemed far more disturbed than he had when he’d recognized A-Yuan. “Lan Wangji, tell me that you see it!”

Utterly lost, Lan Wangji focused his gaze on the far horizon. It was the same scenery as he’d seen there the past few days, the interspersed richness of the low valleys that quickly arced up into the mountains that surrounded the Unclean Realm. There was nothing there that was unusual…

Lan Wangji spotted a very faint glimmer.

Sun, he thought, the reflection of sun – sun off steel.

All of a sudden, he wasn’t on the ramparts of the Unclean Realm but standing beside Jiang Cheng on a rough-hewn fortress barely worthy of the name, watching the horizon grimly as the damned Wen scout’s flare did its work and the amassed forces of Wen Chao’s troops began to move inexorably in their direction. They would come, he had known, and they would kill them all if they could; it would take everything they had to stop them, and to survive long enough just to retreat once again.

For some of them to survive.

“Invasion,” he heard someone say, their voice hoarse, and only a moment later realized it was himself who had spoken. “Invasion…it’s an army!”

“It’s the Jin sect,” Jiang Cheng said, staring blankly as if he couldn’t believe what his eyes were telling him. For once, Lan Wangji understood him completely; he was similarly shocked. “They’re wearing gold, you can see it from here…the Jin sect has sent their armies here? How could they even think to dare? Chifeng-zun will annihilate them!”

Lan Wangji’s throat worked, and for a moment he felt drowned in the quiet once more, his voice not wanting to cooperate with him, his entire being willing or even wanting to return to the solace of seclusion if it would only mean that he wouldn’t have to hear the horrible din of war once more. But he was not a coward, and would do what he must – even speak of things that felt impossible to be spoken.

“That complicated situation I mentioned,” he said, and Jiang Cheng turned to look at him. “My brother has either conspired with or was duped into assisting Lianfang-zun in an attempt on Chifeng-zun’s life through destabilizing his qi and inducing a qi deviation.”

Jiang Cheng’s jaw dropped. “They did what?!”

“Chifeng-zuns remains alive, but is confined to his bed,” Lan Wangji continued, ignoring the interjection. “Nie Huaisang was the one who ordered the shield raised, saying that there might be an attack – I thought he was overreacting, but apparently not.”

“If Jin Guangshan can take over the Unclean Realm while Nie Mingjue is incapacitated, he can say that the incapacitation is worse than it really is,” Jiang Cheng said, abruptly getting it. Lan Wangji had forgotten how much he enjoyed working alongside those from Yunmeng Jiang, Wei Wuxian most of all but also in his absence Jiang Cheng, who was smart and did not require too many words to understand. “Everyone knows Nie Huaisang’s a good-for-nothing – it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for the Jin sect to claim that they came here at the invitation of the Nie sect to ‘rescue’ them, and remained in order to manage the sect on their behalf. Better that than have Chifeng-zun recover and come after you in vengeance!”

Lan Wangji nodded.

“But surely they didn’t think they’d be able to get away with it? Even if they could manage it for a while, as soon as the confusion cleared up, all the other sects would throw a fit…”

“Jin Ling,” Lan Wangji said, and Jiang Cheng blanched, seeming to realize the problem at once. His beloved nephew legally belonged to the Jin sect; if he dared to protest their actions, wouldn’t they be sure to take him away? As for the Lan sect, Lan Xichen would have been implicated through his actions – they could hold his participation over his head, forcing him to pick between supporting them and losing face for the whole sect, which would in turn weaken it. And that was assuming that Jin Guangyao didn’t somehow manage to talk Lan Xichen into thinking it was all for the best regardless…

There were only four Great Sects left, now. If the Lan and Jiang did nothing, who would be left to stand up for the Nie?

“I have to get inside. Nie Huaisang will need my support,” Lan Wangji said, but instead looked down at the children beside him.

“Go,” Lan Sizhui said, releasing his hand and stepping back away from him. “I’ll take Jingyi and hide in the room we’re staying in. You won’t need to worry about us – go, do what you need to!”

Jiang Cheng flinched as if he’d been struck.

Lan Wangji glanced at him. “The Jin sect army,” he said. “However unlikely, there’s still a chance that we are misinterpreting their motives.”

“I’ll go find out what I can,” Jiang Cheng agreed at once. “How many there are, what can be done…I’ll find out and report back.”

Lan Wangji tossed him the guest token he’d been given. “Be cautious,” he said. He still hadn’t forgiven Jiang Cheng for what he’d done in the Burial Mounds, but he was willing to wait until a better time to talk it over with him – now was not the time to try to gain understanding.

Jiang Cheng nodded and left at once, and Lan Wangji saw the children off, then hurried to do the same.

By the time he made it to the main hall, his brother and Jin Guangyao were already there, and Nie Huaisang was confronting them with nothing more than a fan gripped in white-knuckled hands and a glare.

“– dare you talk as if he’s gone mad, as if he can’t be trusted?” Nie Huaisang was shouting. “You should know how seriously we take such words here!”

“It is because of that that we are worried,” Lan Xichen said, and now it was Lan Wangji’s turn to flinch. His brother’s voice sounded just the way it always did, comforting in its familiarity: he sounded calm and patient, thoughtful and wise, sure of himself. He sounded as if he knew better than anyone else what was right and what was wrong. “Huaisang, you don’t know how much your brother has been worried about suffering the way your father did. He knows that qi deviations can be subtle as well as harsh – he understands that his reason might be the first to go –”

“And so you took it upon yourself to decide that for him?” Nie Huaisang sneered. “You keep saying that he understands, that he would understand, all that. But that’s a lie, isn’t it?”

“Huaisang, please,” Jin Guangyao said, his voice just as gentle as always. “You know we only want what’s best for your brother.”

“Do you?” Nie Huaisang said, but he was still looking at Lan Xichen. “You knew he hated the quiet room, er-ge. You knew that he’d never wanted anything to do with it – it’s not like that was anything new! That was something he’d said repeatedly, year after year, month after month, for his entire life. You knew how he felt about it, and you decided to ignore what he wanted in favor of what you wanted. How is that wanting what’s best for him?”

“I was only concerned for his health,” Lan Xichen said, sounding injured by the accusation. “I had nothing but good intentions…”

“Your intentions are immaterial compared to your actions,” Lan Wangji said, and they turned to look at him, both of them surprised – maybe they really hadn’t noticed he’d left the Cloud Recesses.

Well, he thought bitterly: they’d notice now.

He took a step into the room, then another.

“Your actions are this,” he said, ignoring the way his brother stared at his forehead, unadorned by the ribbon that had been there ever since he’d been a small child, receiving it for the first time from his uncle as a precious gift. “You did not trust or respect your elder brother’s word. You disregarded his decision, treating him like a child who can’t be trusted to make up his own mind – you put your own desires ahead of his, and in doing so, betrayed him. Did you really think he’d thank you for it?”

Did you think I’d thank you one day for authorizing our sect’s attack on the Burial Mounds without ever having to explain yourself? Even our uncle respected me enough to tell me at once what he had done and let me decide how I felt about it, accepting the consequences of his actions!

“Wangji,” Lan Xichen murmured. “You’re still healing, you shouldn’t be wandering around…where is your self-restraint?”

Where is your forehead ribbon, he meant, and Lan Wangji shook his head.

“Wangji, you don’t understand,” Jin Guangyao said, and Lan Wangji stiffened at the unasked-for intimacy of the address. “Whatever da-ge said to you, whatever he did, you cannot allow others to guide you by filling your heart with incomplete echoes of what you have lost. You will never forgive yourself.”

Lan Wangji was so furious that he could not speak. Was Jin Guangyao implying that Nie Mingjue had, what, seduced him? That Lan Wangji held his love for Wei Wuxian so cheap that he would have his head turned by the first person willing to make up to him in such a fashion?

“I should hope you know my da-ge better than that, er-ge,” Nie Huaisang said coldly, still speaking only to Lan Xichen. “Or is this something else where you will believe the words of that lying dog over everyone else and the evidence of your own reason to boot?”

“Huaisang, that is unwontedly cruel, and uncalled for,” Lan Xichen said, tearing his eyes away from Lan Wangji. “Whatever Wangji has decided, I do not blame Mingjue-xiong for it.”

Implying, Lan Wangji supposed, that it was Lan Wangji that was to blame for it.

“Put the blame where it belongs,” he said stiffly, staring at his brother as if looking at a stranger. “Was I to leave Chifeng-zun where I found him, half-dead and dying in our jingshi where you left him at Lianfang-zun’s incitement?”

“You think I don’t recognize that I’ve done wrong?” Lan Xichen demanded. “I will speak to Mingjue-xiong and apologize – I will explain my reasoning and let him decide how I can make it up to him. But please, there is no call for you to be cruel to A-Yao. Do not blame him for my mistakes.”

“What about for his lies?” Lan Wangji asked. He took a breath, sharp and unhappy, and suddenly it was desperately, urgently necessary to know the truth. “Brother, tell me you didn’t know. Tell me you weren’t in on it – that you didn’t try to kill Mingjue-xiong in order to cover up your affair.”

“What, kill, you think I would try to…Wangji! Affair?” Lan Xichen exclaimed, and he seemed genuinely shocked. “No, Wangji, you’ve misunderstood entirely! It’s not like that at all. Mingjue-xiong and A-Yao, they were once lovers –”

“No, we weren’t,” Nie Mingjue said.

They all turned at once. He was standing at the door, all but clinging to the doorframe to keep himself standing; he was swathed in bandages and still stuck with needles. None of them had heard him or seen him approach – he must have heard them shouting and dragged himself over.

He sounded tired. He sounded quiet.

He looked at Lan Xichen.

“I was never Meng Yao’s lover,” he said. “Not now, not before, not ever. And Xichen…you knew that, didn’t you?”

#mdzs #lan wangji #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jiang cheng #lan xichen #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #my fic #my fics #the quiet room #you may want to reread previous chapters to get caught up