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ordinaryschmuck · 2 years

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What I Thought About "O' Titan, Where Art Thou" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won't read this. I am Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

It's crazy to think that this is basically the beginning of the end for The Owl House. And I don't mean just this season. "O' Titan, Where Art Thou" gives me this feeling that things will start wrapping up for the series. After this week, we have two more episodes, three forty-five-minute specials, and that's it. There's very little time at this point for shenanigans and fluff, as the writers need to dedicate how little they have left to tie up as many loose ends as possible. And like I said, "O' Titan, Where Art Thou" is the beginning. Revelations have been made, and groups are formed, meaning that there's not much left except preparing for the end. Let's just hope that this week's episode didn't break us too badly when doing it.

Spoilers below.

WHAT I LIKED

The Opening Scene: Well, this episode is already accepted as being heavy and heartbreaking. Might as well start things off with total, incomprehensible fear as we learn that King has some form of a connection with The Collector. Knowing that they probably want King for something, it is a horrifying prospect that they can have an idea of where to find him.

On the topic of wants, this opening scene gives us a glimpse of The Collector's motivation: Freedom from isolation. It appears they're stuck in that weird Pokeball or whatever the hell it is, wanting to be free and have people to play with again. Unfortunately, I feel like The Collector's idea of playtime involves s**t like shuffling a person's face holes like a deck of cards, but at least we know what they want now. The question is, why does The Collector need the Day of Unity to be free? Well, we'll have to wait for future episodes to answer that question because we have problems to deal with now.

King Wanting to Split Up: Such as King wanting to split up so he can be left alone with his thoughts on being the last of his species and that everything he thought he knew was a lie. That's really the impression I got from King's request to just go back to the Owl House on his own. He both wants and needs the time to process what happened to him in "Edge of the World," and I respect that the writers acknowledge that King wouldn't immediately go back to his usual self. His life--At least, with how he perceives it--is changed forever. He can never go back to the time before he knew he was a Titan, and it's great that we get to see him process that ON SCREEN. He might have thought about everything that happened to him between episodes, but it would have been much more fascinating to see it. And we do, and it was. So, yeah. Good job all around.

Everyone’s Wanted: Unfortunately, the problems keep on rising. I'm sure if this was still Season One, Eda would be proud that Luz ends up a wanted criminal like her because "Hooray corrupting the youth" and "fight the power" and all that jazz. However, this is nearing the end of Season Two. The context behind the wanted posters has changed, and Eda has grown closer to Luz. So, when the Emperor's Coven is hunting Luz down like a wild animal, it's not going to be pride Eda will feel. It's fear and worry over how to protect Luz from this not-great situation. So seeing those posters not only makes the audience fear for Luz, but it also makes us worry about Eda and what she's going through.

The Owl House Got Ransacked: And this makes it worse!

Seeing the Owl House emptied out of everything...hurts. It always stings when the home of the characters, one we often see and become familiarized with, gets some level of destroyed or violated. It shows how big the stakes are becoming, where the one setting we all saw as sacred isn't even safe from this big, status quo-shattering event.

And again, it makes me ask, WHERE'S EDA IN ALL OF THIS?!

Lilith and Eda Coming Up with Ideas to Stop Belos: Oh, there she is. And with Lilith too!

That being said, I like where we find Lilith and Eda in this episode. They're low on resources and are on their own, and all they can think to do is bounce ideas off each other on how to stop Belos. Because, really, that's all they can do at this moment. Eda's broken laws before, but she's never had to do a full-frontal assault against a dictator. This is something that is way out of her league. And while Lilith has planned assaults before, she's always had her magic and an army of Coven Guards backing her up. Now? All she has is Eda, and both of them are powerless without their magic. They have their glyphs and staffs, but compared to Belos' "magic" ability, they'd be dead in a few minutes. They recognize this and understand that there's basically nothing they can do, which soon presents an interesting conflict for Eda. She has no plan and knows that she and everyone else is screwed, but she can't tell Luz that. Luz has more hope than anyone else, and if Eda kills that, then things really are hopeless for everybody. I'll get more into that later. For now...I could use a laugh.

Lilith’s Reaction to King Being a Titan: Oh, how I needed this...

There's been this air of doom and gloom within these last few episodes, heightened by the Day of Unity is coming closer and closer. So, trust me when I appreciate this subplot of Lilith being excited that King is a god and starts worshiping him like one. It was pretty fun to see, getting me to chuckle at how nuts Lilith can get when seeking approval from someone of a higher power. But that's just ONE part of the episode.

Luz Wanting to Steal Back Francois: Just like Eda, Luz wants to give King ONE good day. And to do that, she decides to steal back his favorite stuffed animal, one that he got on the day he and Luz first met...Huh. I wonder if that's the reason why King loves Francios so much. It'd be interesting if it was true.

But enough about plausible theories. Luz wanting to go against the Emperor's Coven for King, despite knowing how big of a target is painted on her back, shows how much she truly cares for him and wants her little buddy/brother to be happy. So by the him, she's going to risk life and limb to get King his favorite toy back! And Eda's going with her because obviously, she doesn't want one of her kids getting arrested or killed for this dangerous mission!

“Wouldn’t you rather have a beach day?”/“Maybe if we had time for twenty more adventures, but we don’t!”: HA!

AH-HA!

Ha...

Ah...

Augh. I'm laughing because it hurts.

Ow...Also, do fans really want a beach episode? Why? To see the characters in swimsuits? You DO realize that most of them are minors, right? You twisted psychos...unless some of you are minors who are younger than the characters. In which case, you're not sick freaks. You're kids going through puberty, Mother Nature's way of reminding everyone that she hates us all. It's totally natural and nothing to really be ashamed of. But if you're NOT a minor, you really ARE a sick freak who SHOULD be ashamed...and also should still stay away from playgrounds.

"But what if I want to see EDA in a bikini?"

Then draw Eda in a bikini! Do you really think a Disney show for kids will have a MILF like her in a bikini?! COME ON!

Anyways, this got away from me. Let's get back to the episode.

Luz and Eda Being “Inconspicuous”: I'm going to be honest, "O' Titan, Where Art Thou" is way funnier than I expected. Eda and Luz busting in with poorly made disguises and not being inconspicuous in the slightest? I'm sorry, but that got a chuckle out of me. And I'm glad. As I said, things have been filled with doom and gloom lately, so it's appreciated that The Owl House remembers to let its viewers have fun before things get too real.

Steve and King Going for a Ride: And while we're talking about fun, I'm glad that King got a more lighthearted subplot in this episode. I mean, he's still dealing with his issues over recent revelations, but he does that by taking the time to relax, breathe, and process everything. It's sweet to see, letting him have this day of fun while still acknowledging how much thing's have changed for him. That moment when he hugged the Titan's rib? Man! That hurt...

And Steve. That mother f**ker. He has no right to be as cool and central to the plot as he did! He was just a silly one-off character that had a good joke of getting shoulder pats! If you were to tell me in Season One that he'd be the central source for King's character development, I would have laughed at you! Because it's f**king STEVE! There's no way that'd be true! But it was, and, dang it, these writers win all of the brownie points for turning a one-off character into someone important and having it WORK! It was all fun to see...and it made me wonder if the episode was ever going to get to the heartbreak I anticipated.

Eda Begging Raine to Protect Luz and King: There it is!

This shows us how much trust and love Eda has toward Raine. She's willing to put faith that they'll be able to protect her kids, knowing that even if Rain's brain is a little scrambled, they still have a heart. They would never let children get hurt if there was anything they could do to stop it. That's heart-shattering enough as it is, but the tone in Eda's voice and the fact that she's willing to let herself get caught so her kids could be safe stings even more. Earlier, I said that Eda knows that they're all screwed, so of course, with the Day of Unity coming in two days, she'll do everything she can to make sure her kids are safe.

Even if it hurts them.

“Are you sending me away?”: The pain in Luz's voice when she asked this question felt real. Luz already had her mother send her away, thinking it'd be for Luz's own good. So to have Eda do the same thing hurts for two reasons. For one, it reopens the wound Luz has from Camila, thinking that she'd rather have someone else take care of Luz. Not saying that's what Camila did, but it's what Luz might THINK she did. Another reason is that it makes Luz think Eda doesn't trust Luz to hold out on her own. Again, that's not true. At least, not entirely true. Eda just wants Luz to be safe, but that's not what Luz wants. She'd rather throw herself into danger than lose the family she has in this world. It's a moment where you'll side with Eda but can understand Luz's betrayal. And what follows after...hurts even more.

Luz and Eda’s Fight: I didn't need this. I DID NOT NEED THIS!

Seeing Luz and Eda fight really hit me hard. These two arguably has the closest relationship out of everyone in the main cast, basically being mother and daughter at this point. Therefore, seeing them fight like this has so much emotional impact because we know they don't want to do this. You see it in how neither actively goes out to hurt the other. It's either to distract, escape, or block, but it still stings seeing them come to this. Luz is trying to prove she can handle herself just fine, while Eda is trying to protect the closest thing she'll have to a daughter. You understand why both are fighting like this, but you just wish they could stop and just talk things out peacefully. And they do...technically. But before I get to THAT gut punch, let's go back to the wholesomeness. PLEASE!

King Not Wanting People to Fear Him Anymore: Now that's some character growth I can get behind.

King finally has everything that he ever wanted. And if this was the same King from Season One, he'd probably be ecstatic, demanding everyone to do dumb things for his entertainment. But this is King from Season Two.

He's a character who saw himself as a tyrant but learned that he was a young child who lost his father. A character who had wanted his biological family again but knows that'll never be possible. A character who went through so much and just wants to live a normal life as a kid. Not a tyrant. Him admitting that he doesn't want people to fear him anymore is King realizing he's not the same as he used to be. He doesn't want power or fear. He wants to be loved. It's an incredible moment, and I sure hope the fandom doesn’t undermine it with something like, oh, I don't know--

Steve’s Face Reveal: THIS! MOTHER! F**KER!

How DARE HE take away our precious baby boy's time to shine by showing what he looks like under the mask! And how DARE HE look cute under that thing!

Also, what does it say about Belos when I'm more excited about Steve's face reveal than his. Again, if you told me that in Season One, I would have laughed in your face. BECAUSE IT'S F**KING STEVE!

Alright, that's enough wholesomeness. Back to the heartbreak.

Luz and Eda Breaking Down in the Cell: DID! NOT! NEED THIS!

Do you want to know what's worse than seeing a mother and daughter fight? Seeing them both cry as they realize how dire things are for them. Eda didn’t want to stamp out Luz’s hope…but she NEEDED to. She needed to tell Luz that things aren’t looking good, and that there’s practically nothing they can do about it. And that kills her. The reason why she’s crying is because she’s finally admitting that she can’t protect Luz and that there’s nothing for them to do but wait for the inevitable. And Luz’s reaction…kills me. She’s begging for Eda to tell her what to do and explain how they can get out of this, only for Eda to stay silent as they’re carted off to their own demise. It hurts much more than the first time they were separated in “Agony of a Witch.” There, Eda was at least trying to force a smile so to not let Luz worry. Here, there is no smile. Just acceptance that there’s no getting out of this…and thank GOODNESS that the episode doesn’t end there!

The CATs (Hiss!) Saving Luz and Eda: So much happens during this reveal, so I'm just going to go in order:

Confirming that Darius and Eberwolf are the ones who are helping Raine (even though we already knew) is great. Raine and Darius already have some solid chemistry, and the explanation for why Darius and Eberwolf attacked Raine and Eda makes sense. Tons of people already assumed that it was mostly an act, and Darius and Eberwolf weren't actually going to hurt anyone. They were just making it look authentic for the emperor's coven and filling Raine in later when things calmed down. As I said, it makes sense.

Luz meeting Raine is everything I wanted it to be. They're both excited to meet each other and explain how the reason why is all because Eda wouldn't shut up about her two favorite people. It's sweet, and I love it.

I love everything building up the name of the rebellion. Raine slowly hyping it up while Darius tells them to shut their mouth is hilarious, with Raine's excitement for having the most pathetic rebellion name being just too pure. The same goes for Luz! She's so excited to be in a rebellion called the CATs, and I'm all for it.

This whole scene was absolute perfection. It lifted my spirits quick after the heartache I just had a second ago while also giving more hope for the end. I know in the back of my mind that things won't end well in "King's Tide," but I'm at least hopeful that our characters have a fighting chance against a mad man planning genocide. It makes me excited to see how well they do...but that's not the only thing I'm excited about.

Luz Carving Her Palisman: Forgot about that little plot point, didn't you? Can't say that I blame you. After all, with everything else that happened, Luz making her own palisman just got left on the backburner for a while. But now, it is the perfect time to bring it back. We've got one episode before the season finale, and what's a better way to make it more grand than letting Luz kick butt with her very own palisman. Whatever she makes, though, we'll just have to see.

Now, I wanted to just cross out the dislike section and just accept that this episode is practically perfect…but…

WHAT I DISLIKED

This episode left me with...questions. Questions that I'd ignore if not for how important they are to be answered. Questions such as:

How did Eda and Lilith avoid getting captured?

How did Eda know that Raine knew about the draining spell?

How did the CATs save Eda and Luz?

Why did they wait hours to free Luz?

I know the writers are strapped for time and need to cut corners to focus on the more important stuff, but there's some flimsy excuse behind these questions that, honestly, would have worked better with just one more rewrite. Other than that, I'd say this is another solid A.

IN CONCLUSION

Even though "O' Titan, Where Art Thou" is the beginning of the end for The Owl House, it still feels like its own episode rather than a part of a larger story. We get many perfect character moments, solid character growth, and a strong balance between humor and drama. Maybe the episode itself isn't flawless, but everything that's done right makes me care less. I enjoyed every minute, and here's hoping that winning streak continues as we reach the end of The Owl House.

#the owl house #king clawthorne #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #toh steve #raine whispers #toh darius #the owl house reviews #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #what i thought about

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my-name-is-dre · 3 years

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Mettaton is a False Prophet [OLD THEORY]

To start things off and make sure we have a reference, we need to list off the eerie yet superficial similarities between Mettaton and Asriel:

They both have multiple forms, with Mettaton having his normal form at the beginning, his EX form during his fight, and his NEO form in the No Mercy run. Asriel has his flower form throughout most of the game, his child form at the end of the True Pacifist run, and his “God of Hyperdeath” form also at the end of the True Pacifist run.

This is a minor detail, but they both possess the power to change the application’s name, with Mettaton turning it to “Undertale The Musical” during the track Oh! One True Love and Flowey turning it into “Floweytale” during his boss fight at the end of a neutral run. With the ability to change meta elements like this being traditionally associated with possessing determination in fan theories, we can conclude that there’s a case of overlap here. Another minor detail is that they’re the only two characters who can audibly speak, with Flowey’s creepy “that’s a wonderful idea!” and Mettaton’s famous “oh yes!”

One big similarity is that they’re both products of Alphys, with Mettaton being an attempt to purposefully enfuse a monster soul into an inanimate robot initially with the purpose of being efficient at killing humans, while Flowey was an incident caused by injecting determination into an inanimate object that had the remnants of a monster soul within it.

This is a bit of a stretch, but both characters are artificially inserted into your journey in an attempt to please an ulterior motive, with Flowey enacting his agency at the level equivalent of a player to toy with the same experiences and reconnect with whom he believes to be Chara while Mettaton was conscripted by Alphys to set up an elaborate stage play where she can rescue from him to feel better about herself, acting only at the level of agency as a monster.

The biggest emotional similarity is that both possess a mournful attitude towards a lost sibling, with Asriel on an endless quest of ironic spite against Chara for severing their old friendship by dying while Mettaton leaves Napstablook behind to pursue hedonistic dreams of fame and beauty, destroying the potential they had as a performance duo. Both rectify the holes these relationships left in them, with Asriel destroying the very thing that led to Chara’s death and Mettaton humbling himself reconnecting with Napstablook.

Goal-wise, they both obsess over humans but for very different reasons: Asriel has an obsession with only one human, and the reasons for this are very deep-seated and personal. Mettaton’s obsession however is more vain and is concerned with growing his audience beyond the borders of the Underground and being seen as a sort of vanguard for monsterkind among humanity. Or more insidiously, he feels as if he can assimilate into them. Both seek a form of transcendence that comes with obtaining a human soul: Asriel, as Flowey, seeks one so he can restore a bit of what he lost when he became a flower. Mettaton wants one again for vain reasons; those being to deprive Asgore of the opportunity and claim the title of the “Savior of the Underground” to himself.

Despite this being the most superficial similarity, it’s likely the most important: Both of their ‘ultimate’ forms—Mettaton NEO and God of Hyperdeath—have some interesting similarities between their designs. The most obvious is that they have these large wings jutting out, with Asriel’s having intricate color patterns while Mettaton’s flash between a brighter and darker shade of grey. Other similarities include excessively large shoulder blades and heart patterns on the chest area that are also shared with Undyne the Undying, indicating that this design motif is a trend among all major bosses considered to possess determination. Finally, this form also vaguely resembles the Delta Rune symbol, which I will elaborate on what they mean later. Despite all of this, it’s mainly the wings that are the contentious point of comparison, which I’ll get into later.

Lastly, they both seek a form of integration outside of themselves, with Asriel seeking once again the fusion of their soul with Chara’s, while Mettaton seeks total unification of their soul with their new body, and this is represented in the designs of their ultimate forms, with Mettaton’s ensignia featuring two hearts (one empty and one a monster soul) opposing each other, while Asriel’s features an empty soul within another empty soul. This is likely a metaphor that, despite all of the power he possesses, he’s still empty because he doesn’t have his friend with him. Conversely, this can apply to how Mettaton, despite achieving everything he basically dreamed of (as written in his diaries), feels empty because he abandoned Napstablook.

We’re finally done with comparisons to lay down the evidence for the main point. Now, we’ll get onto the Deltarune prophecy and what it means:

As most of you probably know, the Delta Rune is an emblem that represents the Kingdom of Monsters and is seen on the garments of every Boss Monster. In Waterfall, there are glyphs that describe a prophecy: “The Angel… The One Who Has Seen The Surface… They will return. And the underground will go empty.” If you ask Gerson to elaborate on what this means, he says that some monsters believe that this refers to a bleaker outlook: That the angel prophesied is actually a harbinger of death, and that this freedom actually refers to death.

If you connect the dots, you end up with two conflictingly obvious solutions: The first is that the player is the prophesied angel who appropriately fits both outlooks, being able to destroy the barrier and free monsterkind or free them mortally by attempting to slaughter all of them. However, another conclusion that can be drawn is that the angel prophesied is actually Asriel, and that you’re merely a vessel for his unwitting divine plan. While both are valid interpretations, the second is far more relevant to my point.

Also mentioned in those glyphs is the fact that not a single human soul was taken in the war between humans and monsters, alongside this is the missed opportunity to uncover that one can achieve godhood if they combine a human and monster’s souls. This implies a type of dualism as to whether or not the angel symbolizes the player or Asriel, as it’s more accurate to say that both the player and Asriel—the fusion of their souls—is the angel. This makes sense in both the contexts of the True Pacifist and No Mercy runs (and technically neutral), as both are attempts by Asriel to integrate with Chara again, with the former favoring Asriel’s determination while the latter favoring the player’s.

Now, what if I told you that Mettaton’s character in the story is his attempt to fulfill this prophecy artificially, thus making a false prophet of himself?

It seems hard to believe at first, but considering all the weird similarities between the staging and capabilities of both Asriel and Mettaton, it seems to imply that there’s some similarities between them in the context of the fate of monsterkind. Not only is it common knowledge among all monsters to speak of the prophecy, we also know Mettaton grew up in Waterfall alongside Napstablook and Shyren, meaning that this prophecy could’ve had more meaning to him specifically.

Now, it’s unknown whether or not the intentions to save monsterkind came about because of his hubris or because they were suggested to him by some higher command like Asgore, but considering that he states directly that he wants to kill you to prevent Asgore from taking your soul, it implies that Mettaton’s attempt at fulfilling the Delta Rune prophecy is entirely selfish.

One point of evidence in the camp that Mettaton was intentionally made to fulfill the Delta Rune prophecy is that Mettaton was made to impress Asgore according to Catty and Bratty. If this is true, then his position as a celebrity implies that he was made to be a beacon of hope that could be predictably grown and made to accomplish a purpose that fulfilled everyone’s collective desire. But the hair covering his right eye and its further concealment in his NEO form tells that, if he was created to fulfill the prophecy, then he wasn’t finished for this task and still required further tinkering from Alphys.

It may be entirely coincidental that Mettaton’s motivations as a character parallel and complement Asriel’s, but I find that hard to believe especially given the similarities of being separated from a lost sibling, seeking an integration of souls that’ll grant extraordinary power to embrace humanity to a degree, and possessing soulless objects. What I think really drives it home for me is the similarities between Mettaton NEO and the God of Hyperdeath, both of which are depicted as being angelic with prominent wings, which I’ll go on record to state are the only two boss fights in the game that feature wings prominently.

If Asriel is fulfilled as the angel of death, then the depiction of Mettaton NEO is given a newfound authenticity as he serves as the image of a guardian angel meant to stop you in a place where there is nobody to onlook, forcing him to act in authentic spirit. He now has the duty of protecting both monsterkind and humankind from you, even if he utterly fails at it.

One thing that’s hard to answer is how Mettaton is able to perform actions that imply metatextual awareness of the game and other similar actions Flowey does despite never being implied or hinted at possessing determination. Does this imply that, like Flowey, the process of integrating monster souls into inanimate objects grants them some form of determination? If so, it would grant greater proof as to why Mettaton has such a vested interest in fulfilling the Delta Rune prophecy beyond merely hearing about it. Yet, we know from the True Lab logs that Flowey was injected with determination while there’s no such implication that the same was done with Mettaton. However, we can gather from Napstablook being able to avoid being absorbed into Flowey as he transforms into Asriel that ghosts, as a type of monster, are seemingly immune to things other monsters aren’t. Perhaps this implies that they have metatextual powers like monsters with determination?

Now, here comes the really fun (and fortunately last) part where I draw parallels between these characters and the real-world mythology that may have inspired them:

Now, it’s a factoid among some that Asriel’s name may be inspired by Azrael, who is described as the angel of death in Judaism and Islam, and as part of that title, he separated souls from their bodies. His appearance has been described as being cosmically large, having an insurmountable amount of wings, and possessing a body formed of an amount of eyes and tongues representing every human being. Right away, we can see parallels to the God of Hyperdeath, who also has very large wings that appear to project a cosmic pattern within them. While its appearance may not correspond literally, he is a being composed of every human and monster soul in the Underground, eerily matching the description. Not to mention that Asriel absorbed Chara’s soul into them, equivalent to Azrael’s job of severing souls from their bodies.

Another factoid is that Metaton’s name is possibly inspired by Metatron, another angel of Judaism that, unlike Azrael, isn’t found in the Tanakh but is mentioned briefly in the Talmud. He has a similar job to Azrael in that he records the sins and merits of men, similar to how Azrael was able to see which names were blessed or damned. However, Metatron holds an even more lofty title in Kabbalistic mysticism as God’s mediator between men, being described as one “whose name is like that of his master”, even going as far as to be called “the lesser YHWH.” This is obviously a heretical dualistic proclivity in an otherwise monotheistic Judaism. Further, Metatron is related to Enoch, being described in Jewish apocrypha as the name Metatron used to have before he was transformed into an angel. Now, for all of that backstory, it parallels to Mettaton specifically in transformation: It seems as if Mettaton’s obsession with human reciprocation and the very humanoid appearance of his EX form imply that he wants to integrate into humanity similar to how Enoch entered angeldom.

The hot topic is whether or not Metatron’s power compared to that of God given the texts stating he was a secondary power in heaven with YHWH, but the answer most Rabbinistic scholars give is that he obviously wasn’t despite that it was written that all other angels bowed before him. However, this idea of there being dual power in Heaven is what later laid the groundwork for understanding the nature of Christ in Christianity. But in most Jewish sects, this doesn’t fly and is seen as a dualistic heresy, implying that there’s a falseness to Metatron’s power. Just like how there is a falseness to Mettaton’s power and intentions in all runs of the game. Another neat thing to note is that, as part of accepting Metatron as a real angel, one believes that any time a human believes God has directly spoken to them, it’s actually Metatron acting as his vessel. Perhaps this is parallel with how Mettaton is the voice of the Underground and it’s desire to be free despite himself possessing relatively lacking power?

The angel required a fusion of both a monster and human soul, and while Mettaton is the fusion between a monster soul and a soulless object akin to Flowey, it wasn’t enough to fulfill the role of the angel, falling short of his lofty dreams of being a savior. However, this disillusionment isn’t cruel, especially when you spare Mettaton and he receives a call from Napstablook (implied) that reminds him of his importance to monsterkind, making him reconsider his lofty ambitions to appeal to humanity. This is telling Mettaton that he is not a mediator between monster and humankind that he thought of himself as, for he never had the ability to combine both human and monster soul like Asriel. Perhaps he had the determination to be able to foresee the realization of the prophecy but not enough to put it into effect?

That’s just about everything I have to potentially support this theory, including referents to Jewish mythology. I firmly believe that Mettaton’s presence in the story was to serve as a false prophet to fulfill the prophecy of the Delta Rune, and that explains why his character and origin is so similar to that of Flowey.

#undertale analysis #undertale theory #mettaton #mettaton neo #azrael #metatron #asriel #flowey

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archetypal-archivist · 3 years

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Philza- Bound in Blood of Poisonous Desire (What Crimes Shall He Commit?)

A godhood! Sleepy Boys Inc. AU

A story in which Philza is a deity. Five years on a hard core world, enough near scares to kill most normal beings through sheer number of heart attacks alone, and an Ending that wasn’t enough so he broke through clear to the other side.

And came out with wings. And a crown. And glowing red heart, lodged right in the center of his chest, beating to the tune of immortality. Yes. Philza is a god. But what mortal with any sense has ever wanted such a thing?

Philza had been excited at first, he never was a man with much sense so much as determination and a will strong enough to flatten the desires of a world out to kill him. He had been nigh-on ecstatic to never need to worry about perma-death again. Finally, he could traverse his hardcore world without fear and reach for the stars as he always longed to do. He could construct castles, conquer the End and slay the Nether’s demons- all without the constant worry that he would run out of time. Now, he had all the time in the world.

And he used it to build.

Castles. Armaments. Machines of redstone and wires that did the impossible. He flooded worlds that had never before seen water and reaped the lives of its inhabitants for his own personal gain. He had all the time in the world, after all- what was a bit of genocide? He could just wait for the next generation and slay them too.

And then, finally, when immortality had lost its luster and every rock and tree and cube of dirt had his mark, he built the most important thing yet- a family.

A piglin adopted from a Nether that had grown too tough for its denizens, fiercer and hotter in attempt to keep its winged god from plundering its depths. A little boy dressed in a yellow sweater, outcast by a village that couldn’t handle another mouth to feed. A wild child of red and white, ferocious in his temper and fragile in his kindness, who had grown loud in an attempt to be noticed by a world too occupied with survival to care.

Those resources had had to come from somewhere. (And the children paid the price.)

All three loved him, of course, almost as much as they had feared his wrath in the beginning. For Philza was a player and the world a game, and for all that the Guardians of the End preached love and connection, there exist ways to skip their message. And for a being with all the time in the world, who had an unending future and impossible possibilities to get to- who was so, so excited to get started, well. Can you blame him?

But yes. The children learned to love him. For all that he had been the cause of their problems and for all that he ignored the destruction that he caused, he had seen something in them, in their suffering, and taken them with him to his castle in the North. Philza had seen them where the world had ignored them, had given them a chance to be children. Is it so surprising that they grew loyal? That they learned of love from the very being who slayed the old gods who preached it? In that castle in the North, made frozen by time, he treated them kindly, had wiped their tears and sheltered them in his wings. And there the god of the world devised a scheme that would shake their world to its very code.

Let it be said that Philza was not a bad man. Indeed, the suffering of others hurt him most fiercely and he was a staunch defender of those he loved best. His biggest flaws were ones inherent to most mortals- ignorance and selfishness. But where in mortals these were excusable, in gods the consequences radiated out into the world like ripples on a pond. His ignorance? That only players were people- a common misconception. His selfishness? That which he loved was worth... everything. And as established, he had not yet grown enough wisdom to know the consequences of his actions.

Philza loved and loved fiercely. He had ignored the Guardians of the End and had later pillaged their home and slain their children. These are not contradictions, for Philza never loved anything he had not built himself. And his tiny family, his Tommy, Wilbur, and Techno? For them, he would destroy the world. And he did. Miles and miles of stone stripped away for the walls of the grandest of castles, thousands of sheep for warm carpet and entire mountainsides of trees for fire and furniture. Enchanted swords and diamonds gear, a new set each year for the three princes as the grew- and that’s what the children were, now. Princes. And he made them crowns to prove it.

Philza loved his children and wanted the world for them. And in their name he built an empire, based far out in the freezing arctic where the princes would never see the devastation that had nearly led to their demise so long ago. He named it the Arctic empire, crowned his precious boys as princes, and spread word of their names to every listening ear in the land. And the princes, who now had the riches of the world at their fingertips after so long of having nothing, were happy.

But to Philza, it was not enough. He was a god, a player, and as such had higher expectations. For what are the riches of mortals to those who would live to see even diamonds degrade to dust? So he learned how to hop from world to world just for his sons and set out to plunder those places too. He brought back precious stones and prismarine, stories of technology and advancements that their world had yet to experience. And for his sons, for their world, Philza brought back code. He updated the fabric of reality itself beyond its previous limits to see his children smile.

(Pandas were cute, right? Every kid loved cute things. Welp, off to go break a world down to its foundations to find the piece of code that he needs so his kids could have a cute new animal to play with. It’s not like he had built the place, right? And there were no players, about he had checked. So he was free to do as a pleased. And there would be no consequences at all.)

(And in doing so, he left his sons alone.)

For Wilbur, Tommy, and Techno, life had been amazing so far. The cruelties of life had driven them all to bad habits, but their time with Philza had softened their edges in some ways, although they had been sharpened in others.

For the piglin Techno, his thirst for strength in a world determined to keep him down was, if not satisfied, then at least well-directed. The best armor money could buy and hours to practice? It was a dream come true and soon he became the best fighter in the land. And with the assurance that the world would never be able to lay him low again, he was content. (And if he became desperate to cling to what was his, came to despise governments for what they had done to his Wilbur, came to love the chaos that had been bred into his brother Tommy’s soul, well. The moniker of “The Blade” suited him well.)

For the villager child Wilbur, words bled into him from every angle and he reveled in their beauty. For so long his life had been nothing but scornful silence from the villagers that resented his birth, but with the soaring libraries and halls of music Philza had built for him, he found his passion. A guitar in hand and a song on his lips, he drove away the silence in his heart and wrote poetry for all that he held dear. (And if he practiced until his fingers bled, cursed himself for losing control every time his voice wavered, went over his sheet music so often his mind went numb, too focused on total mastery until perfection was obtained, well. For the ability to sing the perfect lullaby to bring his brothers the sleep they so desperately needed? It was worth it.)

For Tommy, true to himself in all the best and worst ways, control over anything but himself was never an option. Call it a consequence of his birth. The villagers had joked that he must of sprung from the earth fully formed for they could not picture him as anything other than what he was- a nuisance. They had pulled the world out from under his feet time and time again, some days rewarding him for his pranking, other times driving him away. Tommy had never had a home before Philza and his brothers, and he was desperate to keep his place with them.

But he would not change himself to suit their needs. It was the one thing Tommy had always had, and even the circlet of gold around his head could not shift his nature. And with his new-found family, that was okay, for they seemed to cherish him regardless. His chaotic tendencies were met with mild annoyance at worst and love-filled laughter at best, and at every turn he was welcome to listen, to learn, to fight and fly and be free. Under the sheltering wings of his found father, he was allowed to be himself to his fullest extent. And with the weight of their love and attention on his shoulders, he bloomed.

(And if he never outgrew that need to cling to what little he had? If his brothers had asked- truly asked- he would have given his identity up for them anyway? If he built them monuments based on what they should be, thought the arms around his shoulders that protected him from uncertainty to be unshakable? Well...)

(Philza left and the walls came crumbling down.)

The trio of brothers reacted poorly to their father’s absence and like a garden left unpruned, they began to grow into their new freedom in strange ways. The world was theirs to do with as they pleased and no longer were there any consequences to their actions, for Philza’s was the only authority higher than their own. Techno went out into the world, left behind the shelter of their Arctic castle, and started wars just so that he may fight them. He became known as “The Blood God” despite his mortality, for no man was better at fighting than he. When Wilbur came of age, he too left, setting out to spread his music with the world. Where his oldest brother sought blood, he in turn sought adventure, and everywhere he went he played his songs to audiences big and small alike. To those who welcomed him, he blessed them with good fortune, but to those who cursed him and attempted to drive him out as his old village had so long ago, he cursed them in turn by playing music designed to bring pain to those who heard it. For this, he became known as “The Mad Bard,” and he was worshiped too.

For Tommy, forgotten and left behind, as alone as he was in the beginning, things were harder. Where was the attention that he was so used to, the sheltering wings that comforted him when the past voices of those who hated him rang in his ears? Surely his brothers would realize their mistake, surely. But they never did. And while Techno killed great beasts and Wilbur charmed people out of their wealth, Tommy stayed alone in the castle, waiting for the day when they would come back. And slowly, as years passed and the trio grew from children to young men, stories began to circulate about him too. Wasn’t there a third prince? What had happened to him, locked up in that massive castle in the cold? Was he in need of rescue? Was he lonely?

What was his name again?

Theseus, it was Theseus... I think.

Right, of course, Theseus. Theseus, who was locked up in the castle, the third prince, the missing one.

And so tales of the three brothers spread, and it was to these stories that Philza came back to, proud of what they had accomplished in his absence. Techno, so skilled! A true survivor, just like him. Wilbur, so gentle, treating the mortals with kindness. And Tommy, obedient Tommy, who had waited and waited and waited.

Philza called all three to the Origin Point of the world and the brothers came running, ecstatic and scared and angry and overjoyed that their father was back after so long. There, he hugged them close and whispered to them of a gift he would like to give them, the greatest that he could ever give. Oh how he loved them, really, truly. Would you like to see?

And with that, Philza plucked that little red heart from his chest and broke it into three. For Philza was a god who loved and loved deeply, and a mortal with all the flaws that entailed, and a father who despaired at the idea of his mortal sons ever leaving his side. And so he broke that little heart into three and had his precious princes swallow a piece each so that they would never die and travel beyond his reach. He did not tell them the consequences of this choice. They did not ask.

(Philza was a father who wanted to give his sons the world. The world is not synonymous with what was best for them.)

And so the three boys, our three young men, were frozen in time just like their father, just like the Arctic Empire that they called home. They became players. And Techno and Wilbur, they became gods. Tommy... didn’t.

For godhood requires belief beyond measure, an assurance from the universe that you are too special to ever be mortal. For survivors like Philza and fighters like Technoblade and musicians like Wilbur, such a thing is easy. The world was all too eager to label them something beyond mortal kin. But Tommy? Tommy, the child who never outgrew himself and his love for his brothers, for stability, for home? There were no stories about him, or at least none under his actual name. And so, mortal Tommy would have stayed if not for the belief his brothers and father had in him- and through their love, a demigod he became.

But yes. Godhood. Locked into a role and a legend, forever unchanged by the passage of time- flaws and all. That twisted growth, those little hitches in their souls that caught on the rough edges of the world and had them lashing out, sent other people screaming? Those were locked in too. It is for this reason that Philza remained foolish, unaware of the consequences of his actions, and why Techno would forever hate governments and love chaos, why Wilbur would fight the world for control, why Tommy would cling to what was his with everything he had, come hell or high water.

And used to the freedom Philza’s long absence had created, the four went their separate ways and set out into the multiverse again.

The Dream SMP would never know what hit it.

#minecraft #mcyt #fanfiction #philza #wilbur #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #technoblade #god au #My writing #may be continued at a later date #cross posted to ao3 #dream smp #arctic empire #morally gray

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that-bi-bitch-writes · 4 years

Text

The Rumor Around Hogwarts (Ch.3)

Chapter Three: Hello Stranger

Male reader insert for now, future addition of they pronouns as it will lean more towards a non-binary insert with the only change being less reference to Y/N as a young boy and more gender neutral terms. Still masc/male aligned.

No real warnings for now except canonical mentions of neglect

This chapter is a little over 1.5k words. A lot of it comes directly from the book but if you want to skim/skip that part there is a huge space and a line where it starts and ends.

Not really proofread but I hope you Enjoy!!

To say [Name] was excited to go to Diagon Alley would be the understatement of the century. Somehow he had found out exactly when the majority of new wizards would be buying new supplies for their first years. Of course, with his mom being who she was, he’d missed it, but something deep within told him today was the day he needed to be there.

‘The universe and mom conspiring. Plausible’ he thought aloud

“Mom! Hurry up or I’m taking your purse with me to Diagon Alley. All by myself.”

“I’m coming, Haven’t I apologized enough? You’ll get there when you need to be.” she said as she entered the kitchen. She grabbed a piece of toast from the house elf, grabbed her purse and approached him waiting near the front door. With a smirk she started “besides, it’s all part of the universe’s grand plans, isn’t that right darling?”

Though [Name] loved his mom she sure could be a little shit. It’s why she was the perfect “master” for his house elf. Apparently the elf belonged to his father’s family and he refused to be let go. Believe me M/N tried many many times. But every time anyone mentioned freedom he would go berserk and the sight was unbearable to watch, so they’d just decided to keep him for the time being. [Name]’s mother set a rule though, if the elf were to stay he could not refuse help with any of the chores and could not punish himself.

Compromise was one of the hardest things for everyone in the house. ‘My way or the highway’ was an unspoken family motto. And though he was a mean and stubborn houself, he was a part of the family. But that doesn’t mean he had to be nice to him

“Goodbye midget” [Name] yelled over his shoulder, earning a scowl and some mutterings

“Why do you do that” his mom asked casually “it’s not that different from his actual name, so why not just call him by his real name”

“Because he hates it” [Name] responded “and why am I getting a lecture from you. The queen of passive aggressiveness towards him. You forget I can hear what you’re really thinking when you talk in that saccharine sweet voice of yours. Save it for someone who can’t read minds”

She huffed and nudged him to the car. “I can't wait until you start driving. Or apparating, whichever you choose first. As much as I love doing some things the muggle way, I’ll never get used to traffic.”

[Name] picked up some dirt and tossed it to the ground with a loud and clear “Diagon Alley” before getting in the passenger's seat. M/N laughed at him and poked his side before starting the car.

“I can’t believe my baby is starting Hogwarts.” She sighed out. And turned on the radio before pulling out of the massive driveway.

The journey to Diagon Alley was not very exciting for [Name] but for Harry it was a life changing experience.

____________________________________________________________

Harry woke early the next morning. Although he could tell it was daylight, he kept his eyes shut tight.

“It was a dream” he told himself firmly “I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I’ll be at home in my cupboard.”

There was suddenly a tapping noise. And there’s Aunt Petunia knocking on the door. Harry thought, his heart sinking. But he still didn’t open his eyes. It had been such a good dream.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“All right,”Harry mumbled “I’m getting up”

He sat up and Hagrid’s heavy coat fell off him. The hut was full of sunlight, the storm was over, Hagrid himself was asleep on the collapsed sofa, and there was an owl rapping its claw on the window, a newspaper held in its beak.

Harry scrambled to his feet, so happy he felt as though a large balloon was swelling inside him. He went straight to the window and jerked it open. The owl swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn’t wake up. The owl then fluttered onto the floor and began to attack Hagrid’s coat.

“Don’t do that.”

Harry tried to wave the owl out of the way, but it snapped it’s beak fiercely at him and carried on savaging the coat.

“Hagrid!” said Harry loudly “There’s an owl-”

“Pay him,” Hagrid into the sofa.

Harry counted out five little bronze coins, and the owl held his leg so Harry could put the money into a small leather pouch tied to it. Then he flew off through the open window.

Hagrid yawned loudly, sat up and stretched. “Best be off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta get up ter London and buy all yer stuff for school.”

Harry was turning over the wizard coins and looking at them.He had just thought of something that made him feel as though the happy balloon inside him had got a puncture.

“Um - Hagrid?”

Mm?” said Hagrid who was pulling on his huge boots.

“I haven’t got any money - and you heard Uncle Vernon last night … he won’t pay for me to go and learn magic”

“Don’t worry about that,” said hagrid, standing up and scratching his head. “D’yeh think yer parents didn’t leave yeh anything?”

“But if their house was destroyed-”

“They didn’t keep their gold in the house, boy! Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards’ bank. Have a sausage, they’re not bad cold- an’ I wouldn’t say no teh a bit o’ yer birthday cake either”

____________________________________________________________

A boat and train ride later, Harry and Hagrid had arrived in London and made it to the Leaky Cauldron, where Harry was recognized by everyone in the pub. Including a stuttering Professor Quirrell who introduced himself as Harry’s Defense Against the Dark Arts (DADA for short) professor in the upcoming term.

Gringotts was the next stop and it was a particularly interesting event for Harry. The boy who had grown up on scraps from the Dursleys and hand me down clothing was shocked to see so much money in his name. The goblins were obviously a new experience. Then there was Hagrid’s secret mission from Dumbledore.

After parting with Hagrid, Harry had entered Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions alone and nervous. The situation was not remedied by a pale faced blond in the back of the shop who spoke pompously and reminded Harry of Dudley. His casual mentioning of wizarding culture left Harry feeling stupid. When the pale boy had begun talking bad about Hagrid, Harry knew he wouldn’t like the boy and could offer nothing particularly interesting to the conversation.

A lot of questions and shopping later, Harry had to get his wand. Truth be told, this was the part that Harry had been anticipating the most. Entering the shop which read Ollivatders: Makers of Fine wands since 382 B.C, Harry began to be a little overwhelmed and swallowed any questions he might’ve had.

The man seemed to know whom he was and asked Harry a series of questions to find the perfect wand for him. There were a lot of trials and errors, swishes and flicks, and damage done to Ollivander’s shop. Until finally the right wand was found. And it was a little… curious.

“It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother- why, its brother gave you that scar.”

“Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember. … I think we must expect great things from you, Mr Potter. … After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things - terrible, ye but great”

“And you’ll get them.” All eyes snapped towards the unexpected voice “the great things.”

“I believe you’re right Mr [Last Name].”

Somehow in all the chaos, neither Ollivander nor Harry had noticed [Name] was in the shop the whole time. He’d already gotten his wand but when he recognized the boy from the zoo he wanted to catch up.

Noticing Harry’s uncomfortability with the subject of Voldemort, [Name] had started up a totally different conversation while escorting Harry out of the shop.

“Fancy meeting you here. I guess the universe was actually looking out for me. I’m [Full Name] by the way. Nice to meet you Harry Potter”

“Nice to finally put a name to your face. I’m not sure what you meant by the universe but I’m glad we got to meet again. I had no clue you were a wizard”

“... Are you like new to the wizarding world or something? I mean I’ve been raised going to muggle schools but even I would’ve figured out the boy who didn’t react to me doing magic was a wizard”

“It was unintentional”

“Still magic”

It was getting darker and both [Name] and Harry had to go soon. Harry was still a little glum from the conversation with Ollivander, but [Name]’s playful banter had brightened his mood. Harry needed more people like that. Like [Name] and Hagrid, who just saw him as Harry Potter, and not as the boy who lived.

“Will I see at Hogwarts [name]?” Harry asked hopefully

“You bet. Find me on the train. Or rather, I’ll find you. Then maybe I’ll show you something cool I can do.”

Now Harry had two things to look forward to. Hogwarts, and Hogwarts with [Name].

#Harry Potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x male reader #harry potter x nonbinary reader #nonbinary #nonbinary reader #non-binary reader #nonbinary reader insert #reader insert #male reader #harry potter x y/n #non binary reader #rumor #the rumor around hogwarts #that-bi-bitch-writes #x reader

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

Text

Introducing - Dr. Hannibal and Mrs. Erika Lecter.

Self - shipping game (started by @jokersspookyhyena; thank you for the tag, darling!💗)

I’m really nervous about posting this because Hannibal is... very special to me. The bond we share is on a similar level to the one I have with Joker. The only real difference is the length of time; Hannibal has been with me for far longer. I love him so much that it hurts and I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am without him.

PLEASE NOTE -

Mentions of abuse, dissociation and passive suicidal tendencies - unspecified, just named as listed. It’s relevant and almost central to our relationship. If you want to skip this bit, it’s the question asking his favourite things about me, specifically. Every other question is safe, loves! My connection to him is raw, and so are my answers.

Word count: 2, 450 (uhhh... woops??)

When did you get together/how long have you known them?

Hannibal and I go way back. I have known Hannibal Lecter, as a character across all forms of media, since I was thirteen, but NBC’s Hannibal I met when I was shy of eighteen. I adore all portrayals of Hannibal Lecter, but this Hannibal is my most favourite one. Not because Mads Mikkelsen is outrageously attractive, although that’s also true, but because in him I found solace, peace, acceptance, understanding... and safety, in more ways than one. Over the course of the time we’ve known each other, our dynamic has always changed and it’s grown with me. As I’ve gotten older, the dynamic has become increasingly romantic. When I look back on my life, Hannibal’s always been with me, and thank goodness because I wouldn’t be who I am today without him. I am so grateful to and for him for so many reasons it’d be impossible to list them all.

Nicknames, both yours for them and theirs for you!

Sksksksksk I annoy Hannibal with all my nicknames for him: Hanni is the one I use for everything, more than his own name, pretty Hanni when I want cuddles but I’m too shy to actually say, my love when I’m feeling tender for him (all the time) sometimes I’ll combine nicknames and say; Hanni, my love. Sometimes I call him my precious cannibal... that’s for our most romantic moments, though. When I’m talking to others about him, I usually attach “my” to the front of his name. He’s not mine, of course, and I don’t own him and he doesn’t belong to me, but the bond which we have is mine, and this is an important distinction.

Hannibal doesn’t have many nicknames for me. He most often calls me by my name, little fawn/doe when I’m especially skittish or he makes me accidentally jump (it’s not hard to do, though it’s not fun for him because it takes ages for me to calm down), dearest, my love, and the most recent addition is, phoenix or my phoenix... I wrote about that here if you want to read about why he calls me that!

Who’s on top?

Hannibal, most often. He likes to push, destroy and reset boundaries in his own image, though, so sometimes he’ll make me go on top just to see what I do. Spoilers: I always nuzzle my face into the warm crook of his neck, lock my arms and legs around him, and close my eyes. If Hannibal desires for anything sexual, then he has to roll me to be underneath him because once I’m on him, all I want is the safe cage of his embrace (though, on the rare occasions I get... amorous, I just aim my hips downwards every time I shift to get comfortable. It’s subtle enough to be missed, but Hannibal knows me and his chuckle rumbles through his chest and it always makes me smile).

Who is more protective?

Mmm... Hannibal, I would say. I don’t take the best care of myself and Hannibal often has to help me. Erika, don’t you think you should eat something? It has been several hours and you don’t want to get a stomach ache from not eating for so long, do you? and other such less than subtle reminders.

However, I’m not totally helpless and if anyone hurts my Hanni, then oooooooh, this fawn bares her teeth. You do not touch my Hanni. I may be afraid of confrontation and of raised voices, but if I catch wind of anyone targeting Hannibal, then none of that matters. Good luck taking Hannibal to prison, Jack, I’mma square up and you better be ready to catch these hands.

Who said ‘I love you’ first?

Meeeee ~ , I did!!!!! Because I knew him so young, for about six years of our friendship, I used to just say “I love you” and Hannibal would smile patiently but otherwise not encourage anything, for obvious reasons. But one day, I said I loved him and Hannibal gave me the time old reaction. “No, Hanni, listen. I love you.” He blinked once, twice, smiled... and still didn’t say it back. But that’s okay - I like to think that he loves me too. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. He’s Hannibal Lecter, who knows? If it’s a moment which needs for him to say it back, he’ll most often say, “and I, you.” It’s close enough.

Who does the household chores? Including cleaning, cooking, anything around the house.

Hanni and I split everything. I live with him and he refuses to let me pay rent or for food and the like (I have something of a guilt complex so I always feel bad for 'taking’ anything without giving something back, which is usually more than what I was initially given), so instead if something needs doing, I’ll do it without saying anything. Hannibal is incredibly self-sufficient and I stay out of his kitchen (I can cook well enough but Hannibal’s Japanese knives scare me so I stay out of the way and he’s very particular about the order of things in his kitchen), and I don’t go in his office either, but the rest of our home is mine to do whatever I want with. Sometimes I’ll deliberately stay out of his way and when he comes a-running (but not to help), he finds I’ve done odd jobs here and there around the home. He doesn’t thank me for it, he knows I don’t want that, so he dips his chin and eyes me with those gorgeous chocolate eyes, and I know I’ve earned myself a cuddle session later. Both of us know that that’s what I was after the entire time, though neither of us addresses it. He’s taught me well. A bit too well, he sometimes thinks.

Who gets hurt more often?

Me 😂 I have been known to trip over my own foot standing still and it’s not unusual for me to stand up and to sway as I try to find my balance and for Hanni to reach up to grasp my wrist until I’ve settled. It’s embarrassing and my cheeks always go bright red from blushing, but the heat of his hand seeps into my skin and I can’t tell which of the two body parts burns more. Sometimes his touch lingers on my skin and I end up sitting back down, not wanting to leave my precious cannibal. This was what Hannibal wanted the entire time and we both know it but we don’t address it, and I realise that either I’m becoming more like him, or he’s starting to adopt some of my own mannerisms. You and I have begun to blur is something Will once said to Hannibal, but it’s not a wholly exclusive sentiment. There are aspects of me which are because of Hannibal and we both know it.

How do you sleep?

I don’t, not without my Hanni. He most often lays on his back and lets me settle myself half on his body and half off. One of my legs stretches across his body so that my inner knee is pressed to his outer hip and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. My face finds its way either into his chest so I can hear his heartbeat and feel the rumble of his voice in my ear, or pressed into the warm crook of his neck so I can feel his pulse against my skin and know that he is alive and safe. When at last do I fall asleep, for it takes me a long time to settle and to get comfortable (seven hundred position changes and a sacrifice to Satan), Hannibal turns off the light he allows me while I fall asleep (if I wake up in the dark, I’ll be scared to the point of a panic attack and then he will wake and comfort me. This increases my trust in him and further ensures that I won’t leave him. We both know he does this but again, it’s not addressed. I trust him implicitly, which again... is all a part of his plan.) and then he turns onto his side with me pressed tightly to his chest.

Sometimes, on very rare occasions, when Hannibal has been hurt or if he’s sick, he likes to lay atop me and our positions are the same as above, but reversed. So he’s the one clinging onto me and I am the one on my back, protecting my pretty Hanni from all who seek to do him harm or to take his freedom away from him... that’s something I’d never condemn him to. I love him far too much to ever put him through that. Beasts belong out in the wild, do they not?

Fears?

Hannibal fears having his freedom taken away from him, he fears being completely vulnerable, he fears never being understood... his fears are bigger than me, so I can only love him as hard as I can every single day, without hesitation, thought or fault.

And, well... I have lots of fears. My biggest fears are the dark and... certain physical illnesses and Hannibal has offered multiple times to get me a suitable therapist, but I refuse every time. I have my Hanni, so I have everything.💖 He knows me and he knows that if he just stays, I’ll even lay in the pitch darkness for him... if he just stays. So he stays and, oh, my fear smells delicious and he craves more... so I crave his closeness and on it goes. We kind of... led each other into this relationship but looking back, I definitely don’t want it any other way. I’m not sure about Hannibal.

Favorite physical and personal feature about them?

I love all of Hannibal, but his eyes are the warmest pools of chocolate I’ve ever seen. I like to cup his face in my hands, especially when we’re sat in his study by the fire, and I like to get very close to him so that my nose is touching his and I just look into his eyes, the soft orange glow of the fire giving his dark irises a red tint... he has the eyes of a shark.

And that voice... asdfghjk 🥵🥵🥵 many a panic attack has been stopped before it’s started, many a nightmare soothed, by even one word. Hanni has to be careful what he asks of me because he knows that I won’t ever say no to him, but that was all a part of his plan... so long as I love him, I am useful to him. I lost all of myself once and Hanni helped me to find her. His voice led the way, it called out to the darkness in me, and I could only answer his call. He saved me.

And I love his hair... especially in the mornings when it brushes against his eye lashes, I... I just love him.🥺🥺🥺

My favourite personal feature of Hannibal’s is his mind. His psyche is an ocean with murky, never before charted depths, and I long to dive in at the deepest part and to never resurface. I long for his tongue to cut into me, for his words to slice me apart, and then for him to submerge me in the depths of his mind, in the depths of the love he may have for me, and to soothe away the metaphorical wounds I inflict upon myself daily (my inner voice most often sounds like my abusers, try as I might). I long to become one with my cannibal so that never are we torn asunder.

Their favorite physical and personal feature about you?

Mmm... this one is really hard to answer because I am not, ah... favourable of myself in any way. My dress just rode up to my thigh, though, and I can literally see the answer: my tattoo. A few years ago, something terrible happened and as a result, I dissociated to the point of barely functioning and I experienced passive suicidal ideation for a long time even after I escaped that situation (Hanni is the reason I left that, too). Instead of giving into that, though, I designed and then got a tattoo and though I wanted to die, Hannibal made me feel alive that day. Though I know that Hannibal doesn’t like his meat branded (😂), I also know that he loves my tattoo. It’s a physical mark of my love and my devotion to him, and of course it strokes his ego. He quite literally saved my life and I wanted to immortalise that instead of destroying myself further.

Even if I do say so myself, she’s gorgeous:

His favourite personal feature about me is the fact that I see him. I know exactly who Hanni is. I know what he’s done. I know what he’s capable of. I know his past, his present, and I see who he is. I can look at him and guess within an accurate measure as to his thoughts and feelings. I see him and I know him and I love him genuinely, with everything that I am. There have been multiple points in my life where I’ve lived for him in a very raw and real way, and he knows that. Hanni is a rare gift and by some stroke of luck, I was given him. I’ll never be able to repay him for his kindness.

Something intimate you do together?

We lay together. Not just cuddling like I answered in a different question, but we talk. About anything and everything. Hannibal listens more than he speaks up until he notices I’m getting tired, and then he speaks and I listen. He’ll cite Dante in Italian or quote Shakespeare, he’ll talk about Schrodinger's theory or answer my question do killed spiders become ghosts? And we spend that time together. There’s an intimacy not just in naked bodies but in bared souls too, and when both forms happen at the same time? It’s the purest, rawest intimacy he and I are capable of. And it happens nightly - no exceptions.

Who needs more TLC when sick?

Hanni rarely gets sick or injured, so this is me again. I usually work as best as I can through my sickness and I’ll tell him that I’m fine, I don’t need anything... but he takes care of me because he knows I want him to, even if I won’t say it. I’m the kind of person who longs to be wholly self-sufficient and independent, and I can do it, too, but I soften considerably when someone treats me the way I treat them and it almost always makes me cry, no matter who they are. I’ve learned to be strong so when I’m taken care of, I don’t know how to handle it... but Hanni does. Hanni has seen me at my best, at my worst, at my worst and everything in between, and he can handle all of me. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.

#self-shipping #hannibal lecter #erika lecter #erika x hannibal

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liaincursives · 4 years

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These feelings I got /Lucas’ season

/ all parts together on ao3

It feels like ten decades since I wrote anything that wasn’t for school, but I really wanted to give Lucas his own story and I had a few ideas, so why shouldn’t I share them with you guys? But enough talking, enjoy.

Saturday 9:37

Lucas eyelids felt heavy and numb as hew tried to open them. One small strike of sunlight made his left eye feel like it was burning. He squinted, trying to grab a clear thought. His head weighted him down and the world around him seemed to stop for a second.

It was the day. Yesterday had been the last party in his old life. This was probably the last time he would wake up on the floor in Jaydens room, with Kes slightly snoring next to him and Jayden throwing his bedsheets down on him. He filled his lungs, taking a deep breath as the tears were climbing up his throat. He wasn’t ready to move away, he wasn’t ready to leave Utrecht, he just wasn’t ready for this.

Until six weeks ago, everything seemed so perfect. Yes, taking care of his mother wasn’t a thing that a 17-year old boy should do, but besides that, Lucas was truly happy. He would go skating with the boys, pay more or less attention to his teachers in class and get high and drunk on a variety of parties in Utrecht. Yes, there had been the whole drama with Kes and Isa, but Lucas released that there were things that were way more important than the feelings he had for his best friend and that he had had struggles handling them in the beginning. He was just happy that he had a stable life, with amazing friends and the freedom that he needed.

But six weeks ago, the things started to get out of control. His moms episodes got worse, one minute, she was laying on the. kitchen floor and crying for Lucas’ father and in the next, she would throw anything close to her at Lucas, screaming that he destroyed her life and that he was the reason that his father left both of them. Lucas started to build up a wall against the things his moms was saying, he took every opportunity to take care of her and to calm her down, however he wasn’t a professional, so things just kept getting more and more miserable. With taking care of his mom, he started to loose sleep at night, so he used the time he would normally use to go out with his friends to catch up sleep and to at least try to take his best shot in school, as he was graduating soon.

For about two weeks, all of this worked out okay. Kes was starting to ask questions, but he still still respected when Lucas didn’t want to talk about it, until the day his mom threw a stapler at him. It was an unlucky moment, he was coming home from school and as if she was waiting for the perfect moment, his mom was standing in the hallway, totally out of her mind, with a big stapler in her hand. She threw and reached her goal. It hit Lucas right over his left eyebrow, but for him, it was nothing to worry about, after all it was just a small cut over his eyebrow.

The first class he had the next day was P.E. and the young and way too over engaged teacher had just started basketball as a new topic and as the class was running sprints over the court as Lucas vision started to get blurry. He couldn’t remember much of that day, but Kes told him that he passed out on the court and the teacher got furious as she was trying to handle the situation. Lucas woke up on the gym floor, with everyone staring at him. The teacher told him to leave to get a check-up since he didn’t know the reason for him randomly loosing conciseness in class and after two hours sitting in the E.R., a student doctor in a teal scrub told him that the small cut over his eyebrow needed to get stitches and that he was lucky for only having a concussion and nothing worse.

After left the hospital to get back to school, the guidance counsellor called him to her office. Lucas still din’t know what had possessed him, but in a moment of weakness, he told the old lady with the yellow flower dresses and grey dutch braids about. everything. He told her about the nights he sacrificed for his mom, how he couldn’t see his friends anymore because of that and how afraid he was about not making it in class anymore because he was too tired to concentrate. After the old lady talked to his mom about everything, luckily when she was at least sort of sane, they agreed that it would be the best for everyone if Mrs Van der Heijden admitted herself to a psychiatric hospital.

The following weeks were horrible. Even though Lucas was almost grown-up, his mom was not okay with letting him liven his own for the next three months. Three months. That was the time a normal stay at the hospital would take, but depending on the patient, it could always. Be longer or shorter. Lucas tried convince his mom that he was independent enough to survive on his own, but she didn’t want to hear anything about it, so she contacted his father.

Lucas barely even knew him. The only contact they had were the way too expensive birthday- and Christmas presents he got twice a year. His dad probably thought that two, not even personal, presents each year would be enough excuse for leaving them. According to his mum, the decided that it was to best for 4-year old Lucas to stay with his mom, since she was totally okay back then and his friends were in Utrecht, but his father never really got over loosing his only child.

The whole situation seemed to be the perfect moment to get his lost son back and even though Lucas tried everything to stay in the Netherlands, there was no way in winning a discussion with his father, so he would be moving to Antwerp, where his father worked as a manager for some important company.

In the past two weeks, Lucas was commuting between Utrecht and Antwerp to bring the most important things over there, but he still was living with his mother, for the reason that she needed to wait for a free space in the hospital. During those weeks, Lucas had learned an important thing: His dad was barely even home, considering he needed to travel a lot to keep up the international connections of his company. On the previous Wednesday, the call came. There was a free spot for his mom, so she moved on Thursday. Everyone agreed that it was seemed the best for Lucas if he would move over the weekend to have time to get acclimatised before starting school, so he spent the last two nights in his city sleeping on a hard air mattress on the floor of Jaydens room.

Lucas’s gaze wandered over his friends. He still remembered their faces when he told them about everything. The sadness and the tiny disappointment in their eyes. He could still hear Kes asking:”Why didn’t you tell us anything?”. Honestly, Lucas wasn’t even able to answer that question to himself. It just didn’t feel right, whining about his life problems and dragging everything down. He knew that his friend would try everything just so he could stay. Jayden and Liv offered him the empty little room in the flat share, Isas mom even talked to his father, trying to set an example for a child that was living alone, but nothing worked out. Lucas would leave his home. His life. He was about to take the train to Antwerp in less than two hours.

The door carefully opened and Lucas could spot Livs curly hair peaking through the door. “Are you guys up? I made pancakes and Ralph and Isa are already waiting” The dark rings under her eyes made her look exactly like Lucas felt. The last evening had been a lot. It would have been okay for Lucas to just hang out with his closest friends, but Jayden and Kes were convinced that Lucas deserved a bigger farewell, so they threw a huge party on the rooftop of the flat share. Lucas barely knew the people that came, but spending that last evening with with such a normal thing felt really good.

The kitchen would have been too small for all six of them, so everyone took a plate and they sat down in the living room, talking about the last evening, but no one really talked about what they were actually thinking. Lucas was going to leave.

The next time Lucas checked theme on his phone, a feeling of dizziness hit him rightist his stomach. 10:27. They would need to leave to get his train soon.

But Lucas just wasn’t ready to leave yet. For sure, Antwerp was less than two hours away but needing to take the train to see his friends just wasn’t the same. His whole life took stage in Utrecht and now, he was supposed to leave, to live with his dad, who didn’t even know him anymore. Utrecht created him. This city influenced his whole life. This city and the people here…

He could feel Kes’ stare on him. “What? Sorry I got bit lost, it’s just not feeling right to go”, Lucas was a bit confused, but then he realised that his phone was ringing and if he read Kes’ stare the right. way,It hade been ringing for a while now. “Oh damnit, it’s my dad”, he realised as he took his phone and walked over into Jayden’s room. It really wasn’t necessary to fight with his dad. in front of his friends.

“Yes?” “Listen, Lucas I am really sorry but I can’t pick you up at the station, there is a problem with one of the customers in London, so we need to get there. I would have cancelled it but it’s the most important customer and they would take it really personal if I would send a deputy. And we obviously can’t do it. Believe me, if it wasn’t this company, I would pick you up”, his dad said, stress in his voice like all of his plans got destroyed in the last minute, but it if Lucas was honest with himself, he had expected something like this. “Well, why do you want me to live with you anyways? It not that you put much effort in the relationship with your son.” “Lucas, we discussed this way too much. It’s better if you stay with me. Your mom agreed on this too, so please stop trying to change things now. I’ll try to get someone that can help you get the rest of your stuff to the apartment. I need to leave now, but we will go out and catch up when I am back, okay?” Lucas rolled his eyes, “Thanks for nothing”, he said and left the call, then he went back to his friends in the licking room, with a heavy and bitter stone in his stomach. It seemed like his life iin Belgium was already meant to fail. On the other hand, he didn’t want see his father anyways, so having the apartment for himself wasn’t that bad.

****

They were standing at the train station. The enormous backpack on Lucas’ shoulders felt like an anchor, dragging down his weight and not letting him leave Utrecht. Isa, Jayden and Kes were standing in front of him. “Call me, okay?”, Kes said. “I still can’t Believe you are leaving me. How am I going to control Kes without you?” “Shut up, Jayden”. A sad grin stole its way into Lucas’ face. He was really going to miss these dorks.

The train entered the station. Lucas took the skateboard next to his feet. Isa pulled him into a hug and the next second, three pairs of arms were pressing all the air out of his lungs. “I am going to miss you guys. I will just take the next train back as soon as I’m there,” he said while stepping through the door. His thoughts were going wild. He had thought about telling Kes everything. About his feelings, how he destroyed the relationship between Isa and him, but since yesterday evening, there hadn’t been any moment without Jayden around them, so he missed the opportunity again.

Sitting down on a place next to the window, Lucas watched his train leave the station and within moments, the world he was used to turned into a drifting mess of colours, made out of fields of tulips and meadows with sheep on them.

Next part

#wtfock #skam dutch #skam nl #van der stoffels #lucas van der heijden #tfig

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dutifullittlebird · 4 years

Text

Mythic The Musical ask meme

y’know the drill, just edit pronoums and places and wtv however you want and enjoy

❝ You're sure you're gonna raise your kids right. ❞

❝ It's a myth. ❞

❝ You're hoping for a fantasy. ❞

❝ Stop thinking that your family is stable. ❞

❝ Family is love and war. ❞

❝ These Olympian kids got defiant like teenagers do. ❞

❝ They overthrew their parents then they murdered them. ❞

❝ I known she cares for me but it's like I'm underwater. ❞

❝ Even though they never mean to be families are so intrusive. ❞

❝ You think you and your mum will be fine but it's a myth. ❞

❝ When I was small my mum was like a god to me. ❞

❝ Sweet summer days that's the only gift I have to offer. ❞

❝ It's perfect here beneath my clear blue sky. ❞

❝ Can you believe it? My little girl, taking over the family biz? I mean, I can't do it forever. ❞

❝ Baby what a life I've laid out for you. ❞

❝ You have to trust me we don't mingle with their crowd. ❞

❝ You say your sky is clearest but it’s the only sky I’ve known, sure it’s the one that’s nearest. ❞

❝ You say to stay I should be satisfied but then I hear the goddess trapped inside. ❞

❝ I hear her whispering in the deep telling me to leap. ❞

❝ This ain't your world, get a move on and be gone. ❞

❝ I’ve got this ache it’s burning do I ignore this siren song. ❞

❝ This earth bound girl is only who I’ve been, I'll unearth the goddess deep within. ❞

❝ She calls to me and I can’t stop her. ❞

❝ I’ve gotta go to know what I’m about. ❞

❝ No longer denied, we’ll find our fate. ❞

❝ When I was small my daddy used to spoil me. ❞

❝ Oh my god, _____! You look just like your pictures. ❞

❝ Are you asking if you can come? I mean, I doubt your mum would... ❞

❝ DJ turn it up. Let's shake the sky. ❞

❝ We'll still be gettin' laid and we'll still be gettin' high. ❞

❝ Never show 'em that your life's a mess. Give the people what they want, never give 'em any less. ❞

❝ Except when _____ arrives summer melts away. ❞

❝ I'm fine with being lonely 'cause it's my destiny. ❞

❝ The night has just begun, I'll be turning heads before the night is done. ❞

❝ Come on admit it, you know that you want a taste. ❞

❝ Why don’t we mess around with no regrets? ❞

❝ What if I make ya kiss this girl for kicks? ❞

❝ You're gonna see nobody can mess with me. ❞

❝ You're a guy and I just kissed you. What a crazy awesome night. ❞

❝ What's the deal, I can feel something's wrong. ❞

❝ I'm sure you're a decent enough guy. ❞

❝ People say that he's got poison in his veins. ❞

❝ Like for real, girl, you're so screwed. He's one bad dude. ❞

❝ There ain't a heart here, there's a hole. ❞

❝ I'm a deep dark damaged soul. ❞

❝ About last night, that's so not me. I don't do feelings. ❞

❝ You think that I'm too weak to brave the road you roam. ❞

❝ It's true I'm helpless without you. ❞

❝ Don't always like you but you know I'll always love you. ❞

❝ For you I've got to find some fight inside me. ❞

❝ If I turn around I'll be back home by two. ❞

❝ What makes you think I'm gonna help you? ❞

❝ Mother's do what mother's have to do. ❞

❝ I'll deal with Zeus for you. ❞

❝ Swanky and chic and security is tight. ❞

❝ We got more dysfunction here than anywhere around. ❞

❝ The screwing around wasn't worth having all of these overachieving little shits! ❞

❝ They are plotting in vain, they'll never shake me down. ❞

❝ Rebellious children have cursed my family tree. ❞

❝ At least I dressed up so please don't be mad. ❞

❝ That is badass, Pumpkin! I mean, that's just as powerful as... ❞

❝ I mean, it's not like she'd be so livid she'd destroy you with the wrath of a thousand suns. ❞

❝ What will her future be? What has her past life taught her? ❞

❝ Even a dead patch of ground has such potential, it's not as fruitless as you'd assume. ❞

❝ You might find there's sunshine inside the gloom. ❞

❝ Oh, you're not fishing are you? I swear, if I see one more fisherman I'll— ❞

❝ My mum told me stories about you. ❞

❝ If it were within my power to leave here I would go without a backwards glance. ❞

❝ Your job is nicer than it seems. ❞

❝ This is a garden? What, are you the gardener? ❞

❝ Some things grow even though skies are bleak. ❞

❝ Listen, I know gardens. If you work hard, you'll get results. ❞

❝ Everyone must hate you. ❞

❝ Sure you might be judgemental but try to be gentle. ❞

❝ New rule, people: Ice cream for everybody! ❞

❝ I don't know what I'm feeling, it's totally new. ❞

❝ You don't have to be who everyone says you are. You can make other choices! ❞

❝ They told you you're no good. Gave you a label, classified you. ❞

❝ They saw a darkness deep inside you. ❞

❝ This darkness, could you lift it? ❞

❝ She said it's your choice, she's wrong. ❞

❝ You know there's not a chance in hell. ❞

❝ When parents set the slate how can you deviate? ❞

❝ You gotta trust your path, you know you can't change your fate. ❞

❝ But is it really who you are? ❞

❝ There's always other choices. ❞

❝ Feels like I'm carrying a hurricane inside, could it be time to set it loose? ❞

❝ I know when push comes to shove there ain't no choice I gotta do what has to be done. ❞

❝ I'll be the one blazing brighter than the sun. ❞

❝ You said I'd never be strong, you said I'd cave, you were wrong. ❞

❝ I'm gonna cross every line. I'm gonna take what is mine. ❞

❝ Hey, this place is not so bad. ❞

❝ I found bliss among the ruins, I felt life within each tomb. ❞

❝ There's a peacefulness in sorrow if you stop and take a breath. ❞

❝ Only thing that's hopeless is your point of view. Everything has such potential, even you. ❞

❝ There is beauty in the darkness. ❞

❝ There is so much love in death. ❞

❝ There's redemption all around you if you stop and take a breath. ❞

❝ Like, how bad could it be? ❞

❝ Act like a grownup, then become one. ❞

❝ Ew ew ew. ❞

❝ What is on my shoe— ew ew. ❞

❝ Keep moving and push on through. ❞

❝ I will conceal what's inside and keep going. ❞

❝ Gotta be braver and be sweeter 'cause I owe it to ______. ❞

❝ Freedom isn't free. ❞

❝ If I do it it's irreversible. Nothing to it, it's irreversible. ❞

❝ Will I regret it, who can tell? ❞

❝ Hope it satisfies my needs 'cause it's irreversible. ❞

❝ Mum, I wouldn't be here without you. ❞

❝ I'm gonna be a grown up that's irreversible. ❞

❝ I did what I could do to stop the endless yearning. ❞

❝ I see so much of you in all the things I'm learning. ❞

❝ I will be your home even though I won't be there. ❞

❝ So much I didn't know but now the fog is lifting. ❞

❝ You know when gardens grow the ground has started shifting. ❞

❝ I have to set you free but I will be your home. ❞

❝ You will always be a part of me. ❞

❝ Love will ebb and flow but I return to you. ❞

❝ Flowers wilt, storms brew, seasons change, I do too. ❞

❝ Have to leave your mother if you want to come home. ❞

❝ Have to lose a little if you're willing to grow. ❞

❝ I return to you.❞

#rp meme

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irikahkrios · 4 years

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okay so. re: my previous posts about improving the end of me3 by replacing the kid at the end with a cycle-through of all sorts of important characters, as the entity tries to fuck with shepard's head, and about it turning into emmett's love interests to explain the different endings. it's the middle of the night rn and i woke up and can't get back to sleep and i literally cannot stop thinking about how fitting and how painful the love interest chosen for each ending is.

(necessary disclaimer: while i am not one of those "the whole ending is a LIE!!!" tinfoil hat me3 truthers, i AM coming at this from the point of view of someone who literally only trusts destroy and sees it as the only viable option. my point is please do not restart me3 ending discourse on my blog in this the year of our lord 2020 or i will give you a stern talking-to. this is a post about my ot4. if you wanna reply to this post, please do not make it about my choice of ending or my opinions on the other two, because that's not what this post is about.)

because like, first it turns into garrus. and it talks to emmett about destroying the reapers. but the thing is, no matter what it says or how it makes it look, it doesn't want emmett to destroy them. it searches his memories and purposefully evokes young, dumb, violent garrus. it talks to him like me1 garrus, who thinks the ends justify the means, even if people have to die in the process. it uses emmett's distaste for that mindset to try and fool him into thinking that it's even remotely close to the same thing. "oh, who cares if some people die? it's the right thing to do!" even though, like....it is. it genuinely is the right thing to do in this situation, and it's not even in the same ballpark as the stuff garrus was hung up on in me1. we're talking about the possibility of total annihilation of all sapient life in the galaxy, that's what's at stake here. in this case, obviously, the needs of the many do outweigh the needs of the few. but it's trying to trick emmett into seeing the destruction of the reapers as a bad thing, as an ending that goes against his principles and therefore should be avoided. and it uses garrus against him, to try and associate those old memories of young, dumb, trigger-happy garrus with the decision to destroy the reapers. it doesn't count on how automatically wrong it feels for emmett to see his best friend and the love of his life, who's grown so much and become such a smart, responsible, caring man, suddenly start talking like he used to three years ago. he pretty much immediately picks up on things not being what they seem. emmett's kinda silly and carefree, but he's not stupid, and he can tell when someone's using the people he loves to manipulate him. (he's also quite offended on garrus' behalf lmao)

but then? there are better options, it says, as emmett blinks and finds that it's now changed into thane. you can save everyone. you can control them. this is what you've worked for, he says. only you can do this, my warrior angel, my siha, you're the only one who has the willpower to control them. (he reaches out and tries to clasp emmett's hands in his, exactly the way the real thane always does, and some small part in the back of emmett's mind briefly considers letting him.) put your duty first, do what you were trained to do, sacrifice yourself to control them and do what others couldn't. side note, the weird entity thing and the reapers see this ending as sort of a stepping-stone, but still a win in the long run. sort of a nuisance, while emmett manages to keep control of the reapers for a few hundred thousand years or so, but eventually they'll manage to take control again and the cycle can continue. so the thing isn't pushing super hard for this ending, but it would still ultimately be a win, and so it's definitely trying to make it sound more appealing than destroying the reapers.

but finally, it says, turning into irikah, there's another option. nobody else has to die, emmett! you can sacrifice yourself and make everyone safe again. they'll all become like you, part organic and part machine, this is how things were meant to be. and if you really care about the galaxy, if you really want to make things better for people everywhere, for me, for all three of us, you'll do this. and there's something so chilling to me about it using the kindest, most openly caring of emmett's lovers, the woman who cares so much about preserving life and freedom and happiness, to try to manipulate him into picking the most horrific of the three endings and forcing a terrifying change onto a galaxy of people who have no desire for this and no way to say no if emmett chooses it. and like, obviously, this ending is the best-case scenario for the creepy entity thing and for the reapers. it accomplishes the exact thing they're trying to do, but pretty much in an instant. so it pushes hard for this choice, tells him it's both the most logical thing to do and the most merciful option, implores him to choose it, big beautiful sunset-colored eyes gentle and pleading.

of course, emmett already knows what he has to do, and no amount of taking on his lovers' forms to manipulate him is going to stop him from destroying the reapers, like the entire series has been building up to him doing. so that's what he does. and he doesn't expect to survive, but even though he recognizes that he was only shown the people he loved as a manipulation tactic, some small part of him is grateful that he got to see them one last time.

(but then he survives and everything is okay!!!! they have babies!!!! emmett is a stay-at-home dad and everything is okay!!!! pain what pain they all get their happy ending together)

anyway i'm dying

#once again NO DISCOURSE. jim this means you #im sensitive and it hurts my feelings when people disagree with me #irithemmus #it's three in the morning and i woke up and i cant stop thinking about mass effect

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therandomfics · 6 years

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DISTANCE: 3

Sonny,

I’m sorry that it came to this, that your last contact from me will be in the form of this letter. Truthfully, I have no idea when you’ll read this, or if you’ll read it, but I want to cover my bases and let you know a few things. We’ve been together for how long now? Two and a half years? I’ve barely seen you for the last 8 months. I respect your line of work and appreciate your commitment to serve and protect, but at what point were you going to protect our relationship? When we first met, I couldn’t believe how wonderful you were. Do you remember? You interviewed me, and then Mr. Barba prepped me for trial. I was so thankful I was able to save that woman’s life, so thankful that I made a difference, and so thankful to have met you. My Knight in Shining Armor. The first handful of dates we went on left me reeling - I felt manic if I’m being honest. I just couldn’t believe that someone like you wanted someone like me. Even after we moved in together, or rather I moved in with you, it still felt like pure magic. I never wanted that feeling to end. Yes, I’ve lied awake at night, wishing that I’d never met you, wishing that you’d turn in your shield and take up law, or anything other than leaving me for as long as you did. But you know, I was patient, and forgiving. I trusted you to be the one that would never betray me. I know you know why it’s so important to me that I give my all and get the same in return. You know my parents were together nearly 30 years when my Mom left my Dad for some random man she met online and destroyed my concept of trust. You know the horrors of dating I experienced - it’s not easy being a woman, especially in a big city. You know the absolute nightmare my mother has become and how she tried to pit me against you so many times just to feed her own sick, sad little mind... and I never let it happen. Sonny, you were number one in everything. Nothing came before you, but I will not promise that nothing comes after you, because I deserve something more. You’ve left me lonely for too long. You didn’t check in, you didn’t have anyone check in on your behalf, nothing. If I hadn’t seen you with her.. I would have thought you were dead. You told me you were going back to find out what was going on, why someone would be trying to contact me, and then you’d be back. I understood - I was angry, but I fucking understood. Then, after I’ve been missing you for so long, I see you on the platform kissing that woman like you’ve loved her longer than you pretended to love me. What did I do to deserve this? Amanda said you’re deep under and you’re trying to make friends with someone who know what’s really going on in hopes that you can bust a ring. A ring of what? Pedophiles? Rapists? Traffickers? Who cares? I don’t? I’m so sorry it ends like this, darling. Please know that I will forever think of you as the man who taught me how to love and simultaneously want to kill myself at the same time. What a delight - what a SKILL SET you must have to make me feel so wildly unstable. I’d say I’m proud of you, but only if that translated to burn in Hell.

Wishing you the best...

Y/N

You sealed the letter in an envelope and left it lying on Sonny’s pillow for his long awaited return. A return, of course, for which you would not be present. It took no time at all to reach out to a friend in Brighton Beach and ask if you could stay with her for a bit, as things had gotten murky with your boyfriend. The neighborhood was a bit further from work, but you didn’t mind. After all, you’d no longer be in any rush to come home in the hopes that you’d find Sonny. You’d just be going home to Kristin and her childish but sometimes amusing boyfriend. Plus, it was only temporary, you reminded yourself.

You changed your number, deleted your Facebook and Instagram, and created a new e-mail account in hopes of moving on and getting things together again. Sonny’s name had stayed on the lease and rent was drafted monthly from his account, so you weren’t too terribly concerned with that portion, either. Even more, you had started taking a new route to work just in case he tried to find you. For all you knew, though, he was still undercover, playing house with his new girlfriend. It occurred to you in a painful fashion that it was possible that his charade had been going on for quite some time - but, you weren’t worried about any communicable diseases, as you hadn’t been intimate with him in almost 9 months. It had been so long since you’d seen him, you had to admit you’d felt single but betrothed for so long, that you didn’t know how to act anymore.

“Alex is gonna invite some friends over tonight, cool?” Kristin asked you before you headed to work. It was too early for conversation but she was doing you a huge favor by letting you stay there, leaving you no option but to be polite.

“Yeah, no problem, you know that. I’m not gonna be home until like 8 or 9 tonight. The kids have their poetry reading tonight and I promised I’d supervise,” you explained as you slung your bag over your shoulder. “But yeah, definitely fine with me. See you tonight.”

When you finally arrived back home that night, you were surprised to see that Kristin hadn’t been lying. Usually her some people meant at least fifteen people crowded into the apartment, but this time it really was only Kristin, Alex, and three of their friends. Two females and one male, whose names you didn’t catch as you went to your room and secluded yourself from the festivities in the living room. They were playing cards and drinking, which was a fairly common way to pass the time for them, you’d noticed.

Even though you’d been staying with Kristin for about two months and had grown comfortable there, you wished you had your own place again. Before you met Sonny, you’d scored a loft for a steal and had stayed there for two years. But, along came Carisi and your life was flipped on its head. He changed so much of your day to day, you wondered how you’d ever move on without him.

There was a knock at your door as you were changing into more comfortable clothes. You grumbled and opened it to find the mysterious man in the hall. It was a welcomed interruption. Human interaction normally meant not thinking about Sonny, and when he was a 6′1″ linebacker build with brown eyes and a mess of brunette curls, you were obliged to interact.

“Hi?” you asked, brow arched.

“Hey. Sorry to bother you. Alex said that you might have a phone charger?” he asked and held up his dying phone.

“I do. Yeah, I’ll grab it,” you offered and walked over to your desk to unplug the cord. “When you’re done with it you can just leave it in the living room, I’ll grab it in the morning.”

“Uh.. I was actually hoping I could hide out for a while,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Kristin and Alex are about five minutes away from being pornographic and Jennifer and Rachelle are.. not far behind. I’m the DD so I can’t exactly leave them. But, if not it’s totally fine!”

You shrugged and handed him the charger. “You’re welcome to hang out here. I was just gonna watch TV for a while.”

“Thanks. I’m Ryan by the way.” He plugged the charger into an outlet and plugged his phone in, setting it down on the floor. He pulled the chair out by your desk and sat down, considerate enough not to assume he could sit on your bed with you.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you, Ryan.” You sat down and turned on the TV in your room, scanning until you found a B-Rated horror movie on Netflix and settled in. Your bed was against the wall, acting as a massive couch lined with pillows and blankets. It was comfortable, and you felt slightly selfish for making Ryan sit at the desk. “You’re welcome to sit over here, by the way. I know that’s an uncomfortable angle and a hard chair.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” he confessed and stood up, finding a spot as far away from you as he could. “You haven’t been living here long have you? I feel like I’ve only seen you once.”

You nodded absently and pulled your knees to your chest. “Just like, a couple months. I had a failed relationship and exiled myself to Brighton,” you explained with a small laugh.

“Me too, actually. That’s why I hadn’t been hanging out with Kris and Alex as much. My girl - ex girl - wasn’t a fan of their company, said they were too wild. I dunno, they seem alright to me. It’s good to be free again.”

You looked over at him and smiled. “You might be onto something. It is nice to know that I don’t have to expect anything. Things just are the way that they are.”

“You’re really gorgeous though. I doubt you’ll be on the market too long - unless you want to be,” he added quickly. Compliments and common sense.

“I dunno about that one, Ryan. I thought I had a good one last time - you know, being so pretty and all - but he wasn’t really around much. Left me pretty lonely, especially the last almost year of the relationship.” You sighed, and then kicked yourself mentally. You didn’t want to appear vulnerable but there you were, admitting freely that you hadn’t been intimate in almost a year. “It’s fine though, you know, I’m tough and everything.”

The blush that flashed across his cheeks meant that he knew what you’d accidentally confessed. “I’m sorry that you had to experience that. I hope that when you’re ready, you’ll find someone who gives you the attention that you definitely deserve.”

Embarrassed, you averted your eyes to the television in time to see a poorly made up zombie trudging through the woods outside of an unsuspecting family’s home. You suddenly felt awkward, your face burning and your heart racing. The freedom of knowing that you could lean over at any given point and touch this new friend of yours left your head spinning. You’d forgotten what it felt to be with anyone but Sonny, and truth be told you’d almost forgotten what that was like, too. You spent the next half hour staring at the screen without understanding what was happening; anything to avoid looking at him.

“Why do women wear heels when they’re staying at a cabin?” he asked after a while, watching a woman run through a dense forest in stilettos.

“Because they’re sexy.”

“You don’t need heels to be sexy, you know. A woman can look great in shorts and a hoodie,” he explained glancing over at you, pointedly, as you were wearing his described clothing combination.

“But stereotypical sexy means cleavage, heels, and an air of damsel in distress,” you countered, trying to ignore his compliment.

“That’s not really my thing, I guess.”

“Yeah, mine either. I mean the stereotypical man - the whole Harvard or Hudson look.. I hate it,” you confessed with a laugh. “Give me some flaws, some rough edges, something else.”

“You’re in luck. I am flawed, and very rough,” he replied, then laughed. “Not like that. I mean. No, no, nevermind.”

Pressing pause on the movie, you looked at the time and sighed. “Ryan, it is my bed time as of twenty minutes ago. I’m sorry to interrupt your internal conflict but I really have to tell you goodnight.” You scooted to the end of the bed and stood up, walking to the door.

He followed suit and grabbed his phone, pausing as he stood in between you and the door. The world moved slowly around you as he leaned down and placed his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you closer to his face. When he finally kissed you, he pressed his body to yours and pushed you back against the door frame. It was aggressive and sexy, but it wasn’t right. You pulled away a few moments later and stared up at him in confusion. Yes, you had enjoyed it, but it just wasn’t right.

“I.. uh..” you stammered, taking a step back. “I really need to sleep. I’ll see you around?”

“Goodnight,” he said with a smile, and headed back down the hall. He turned around a few seconds later and stopped. “Hey, also? Next week Jennifer is hosting a Halloween at her place in Queens. Go with me. You’ll have a good time. I was thinking about being a Priest but I’m not sure yet. I’ll pick you up.”

Once Ryan left, you shut and locked the door, fighting back the need to sob uncontrollably as you washed your face and brushed your teeth. You slept like absolute hell that night, dreaming of Sonny everytime you closed your eyes. Had you made the right decision? Who knew if he’d even read your letter yet.

#sonny carisi x reader #detective carisi x reader #carisi x reader #svu fanfiction #dominick carisi #sonny carisi

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ojjjksworld · 3 years

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The World of 1898：The Spanish-American War

Introduction On April 25, 1898 the United States declared war on Spain following the sinking of the Battleship Maine in Havana harbor on February 15, 1898. The war ended with the signing of the Treaty of Paris on December 10, 1898. As a result Spain lost its control over the remains of its overseas empire -- Cuba, Puerto Rico, the Philippines Islands, Guam, and other islands.

Background Beginning in 1492, Spain was the first European nation to sail westward across the Atlantic Ocean, explore, and colonize the Amerindian nations of the Western Hemisphere. At its greatest extent, the empire that resulted from this exploration extended from Virginia on the eastern coast of the United States south to Tierra del Fuego at the tip of South America excluding Brazil and westward to California and Alaska. Across the Pacific, it included the Philippines and other island groups. By 1825 much of this empire had fallen into other hands and in that year, Spain acknowledged the independence of its possessions in the present-day United States (then under Mexican control) and south to the tip of South America. The only remnants that remained in the empire in the Western Hemisphere were Cuba and Puerto Rico and across the Pacific in Philippines Islands, and the Carolina, Marshall, and Mariana Islands (including Guam) in Micronesia.

Cuba Following the liberation from Spain of mainland Latin America, Cuba was the first to initiate its own struggle for independence. During the years from 1868-1878, Cubans personified by guerrilla fighters known as mambises fought for autonomy from Spain. That war concluded with a treaty that was never enforced. In the 1890's Cubans began to agitate once again for their freedom from Spain. The moral leader of this struggle was José Martí, known as "El Apóstol," who established the Cuban Revolutionary Party on January 5, 1892 in the United States. Following the grito de Baire, the call to arms on February 24, 1895, Martí returned to Cuba and participated in the first weeks of armed struggle when he was killed on May 19, 1895.

The Philippines Islands The Philippines too was beginning to grow restive with Spanish rule. José Rizal, a member of a wealthy mestizo family, resented that his upper mobility was limited by Spanish insistence on promoting only "pure-blooded" Spaniards. He began his political career at the University of Madrid in 1882 where he became the leader of Filipino students there. For the next ten years he traveled in Europe and wrote several novels considered seditious by Filipino and Church authorities. He returned to Manila in 1892 and founded the Liga Filipina, a political group dedicated to peaceful change. He was rapidly exiled to Mindanao. During his absence, Andrés Bonifacio founded Katipunan, dedicated to the violent overthrow of Spanish rule. On August 26, 1896, after learning that the Katipunan had been betrayed, Bonifacio issued the Grito de Balintawak, a call for Filipinos to revolt. Bonifacio was succeeded as head of the Philippine revolution by Emilio Aguinaldo y Famy, who had his predecessor arrested and executed on May 10, 1897. Aguinaldo negotiated a deal with the Spaniards who exiled him to Hong Kong with 400,000 pesos that he subsequently used to buy weapons to resume the fight.

Puerto Rico During the 1880s and 1890s, Puerto Ricans developed many different political parties, some of which sought independence for the island while others, headquartered like their Cuban counterparts in New York, preferred to ally with the United States. Spain proclaimed the autonomy of Puerto Rico on November 25, 1897, although the news did not reach the island until January 1898 and a new government established on February 12, 1898.

United States U.S. interest in purchasing Cuba had begun long before 1898. Following the Ten Years War, American sugar interests bought up large tracts of land in Cuba. Alterations in the U.S. sugar tariff favoring home-grown beet sugar helped foment the rekindling of revolutionary fervor in 1895. By that time the U.S. had more than $50 million invested in Cuba and annual trade, mostly in sugar, was worth twice that much. Fervor for war had been growing in the United States, despite President Grover Cleveland's proclamation of neutrality on June 12, 1895. But sentiment to enter the conflict grew in the United States when General Valeriano Weyler began implementing a policy of Reconcentration that moved the population into central locations guarded by Spanish troops and placed the entire country under martial law in February 1896. By December 7, President Cleveland reversed himself declaring that the United States might intervene should Spain fail to end the crisis in Cuba. President William McKinley, inaugurated on March 4, 1897, was even more anxious to become involved, particularly after the New York Journal published a copy of a letter from Spanish Foreign Minister Enrique Dupuy de Lôme criticizing the American President on February 9, 1898. Events moved swiftly after the explosion aboard the U.S.S. Maine on February 15. On March 9, Congress passed a law allocating fifty million dollars to build up military strength. On March 28, the U.S. Naval Court of Inquiry finds that a mine blew up the Maine. On April 21 President McKinley orders a blockade of Cuba and four days later the U.S. declares war.

The War Following its declaration of war against Spain issued on April 25, 1898, the United States added the Teller Amendment asserting that it would not attempt to exercise hegemony over Cuba. Two days later Commodore George Dewey sailed from Hong Kong with Emilio Aguinaldo on board. Fighting began in the Phillipines Islands at the Battle of Manila Bay on May 1 where Commodore George Dewey reportedly exclaimed, "You may fire when ready, Gridley," and the Spanish fleet under Rear Admiral Patricio Montojo was destroyed. However, Dewey did not have enough manpower to capture Manila so Aguinaldo's guerrillas maintained their operations until 15,000 U.S. troops arrived at the end of July. On the way, the cruiser Charleston stopped at Guam and accepted its surrender from its Spanish governor who was unaware his nation was at war. Although a peace protocol was signed by the two belligerents on August 12, Commodore Dewey and Maj. Gen. Wesley Merritt, leader of the army troops, assaulted Manila the very next day, unaware that peace had been declared.

In late April, Andrew Summers Rowan made contact with Cuban General Calixto García who supplied him with maps, intelligence, and a core of rebel officers to coordinate U.S. efforts on the island. The U.S. North Atlantic Squadron left Key West for Cuba on April 22 following the frightening news that the Spanish home fleet commanded by Admiral Pascual Cervera had left Cadiz and entered Santiago, having slipped by U.S. ships commanded by William T. Sampson and Winfield Scott Schley. They arrived in Cuba in late May.

War actually began for the U.S. in Cuba in June when the Marines captured Guantánamo Bay and 17,000 troops landed at Siboney and Daiquirí, east of Santiago de Cuba, the second largest city on the island. At that time Spanish troops stationed on the island included 150,000 regulars and 40,000 irregulars and volunteers while rebels inside Cuba numbered as many as 50,000. Total U.S. army strength at the time totalled 26,000, requiring the passage of the Mobilization Act of April 22 that allowed for an army of at first 125,000 volunteers (later increased to 200,000) and a regular army of 65,000. On June 22, U.S. troops landed at Daiquiri where they were joined by Calixto García and about 5,000 revolutionaries.

U.S. troops attacked the San Juan heights on July 1, 1898. Dismounted troopers, including the African-American Ninth and Tenth cavalries and the Rough Riders commanded by Lt. Col. Theodore Roosevelt went up against Kettle Hill while the forces led by Brigadier General Jacob Kent charged up San Juan Hill and pushed Spanish troops further inland while inflicting 1,700 casualties. While U.S. commanders were deciding on a further course of action, Admiral Cervera left port only to be defeated by Schley. On July 16, the Spaniards agreed to the unconditional surrender of the 23,500 troops around the city. A few days later, Major General Nelson Miles sailed from Guantánamo to Puerto Rico. His forces landed near Ponce and marched to San Juan with virtually no opposition.

Representatives of Spain and the United States signed a peace treaty in Paris on December 10, 1898, which established the independence of Cuba, ceded Puerto Rico and Guam to the United States, and allowed the victorious power to purchase the Philippines Islands from Spain for $20 million. The war had cost the United States $250 million and 3,000 lives, of whom 90% had perished from infectious diseases.

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pooma-unvolunteers · 3 years

Text

We live in a world......

Group Discussion.

🍁

Participants: Mr. Suraj, Dr. Parvathi, Mrs. Rekha Kumbar, Mrs. Sweta srinivasta, Leader. Ms. Leena Rai, Mrs. Pooja Hanji, Mrs. Vijayalakshmi Menon,

🍁

We live in a world where simple kindness is a revolutionary act.

A kind person is either treated as a mentally challenged or he is isolated from the society for being real.

Are we so cruel?

Let's know about our world we live in.

• Pooma: A teacher once said, the future of my world is in my classroom today.

How many of us agree to that.

We were once in that same classroom.

How far have we benefitted our world through the years.

We have grown up in so many areas of life and fields were our excellence is reaching the skies.

But have we found the solution for our quenching thirst of craving happiness.

Nothing else brings happiness more than sharing the surplus you hold in all aspects.

Which means, your tumbler is overflowing and you paid in full and in return you are paid in full.

• Dr Parvathi: For a teacher whole world or the surrounding is like a classroom only. Because some or the other way she teaches,learns , implements and delivers knowledge

• Mrs. Sweta Srivastava: Look at a person's life and you can fairly estimate their personality, their beliefs and their mindset.

Nothing is a 'chance' phenomena.

It is all rooted in our choices, in our decisions and in our truest and deepest desires.

Kindness is a virtue . In all relegion kindness is considered as an important value.

• Dr Parvathi: We are still in learning phase so I think excellence is still a Question mark??

• Mr. Suraj: Very nice topic! And it's truly is.

"Children are the mirror in which a teacher sees himself." isn't it?

When he laughs, they laugh, when he cries, they cry. You know love begets love and hatred begets hatred. When an teacher shares his launch to an empty stomach or wipe out tears of sobbing face , he doesn't express his love , his care but go straight through their heart.

Nothing please an teacher when he sees his children are happy and motivated.

And you know when his happiness get doubles ,twenty five years from now when he looks back and says, "You were very important person in my life ." This shows how the children used to enjoy your company. You were not just a teacher for him but an inspiration.

• Mrs. Vijayalakshmi Menon: I totally agree that the happiness a teacher gets is when his/her students come back to them and tells that whatever I have achieved is only because of you .

A classroom is definitely a place where transfer of knowledge, values, emotional bondage takes place.

• Pooma: On one side technology has done things which has even made us forget God in some cases and forget ourselves in many cases.

We do appreciate ourselves that the deeo rooted implications in all walks of our life, specially in education, the technology.

But have we ever realised that the technology came with a bane on us we are yet to realise it.

Of course I agree everything comes with both advantages and disadvantages but what if we are unable to see some disadvantages which plays a blindspot for many advantages it boasts???

• Mrs. Rekha Kumbar UNV: It's always the students or the disciples who revealed their teachers or Guru's to the world respectively.

Hanuman revealed Rama

Swami Vivekananda revealed his teacher,Sri Ramakrishna Paramhamsa

Chandragupta Maurya revealed Chanakya.

Aristotle revealed Plato...

When students achieve success,and reveal their teachers..it's the most valuable gift.

Pooma: For example: Cell phones bring you closer to the person far from you, but takes you away from the ones sitting next to you. Have we ever realised that?. Never, not even once.

All we do is try to keep in touch with every single person through social media sometimes we even text our siblings sitting in the next room.

Immersed in technology we are lacking humanity.

We started thinking that spending time with the person next to you or our loved ones is a waste of time.

Rather think that a text through the phone is more than sufficient to keep in touch.

Technology connects farthest distant relationship closer, whereas nearest relationship farthest.

Back to our question - What kind of world do we live in?

We live in a world where Wealth is more important than Happiness.

We live in a world where Love is hidden and Violence is practiced in light.

We live in a world where there is more information and less meaning.

We live in a world where we have very long contact list and a very short friend list.

We live in a world where emotions are symbol of weekness and impassioned is symbol of strongness.

We live in a world where people are always in hurry but never reach on time.

We live in a world where quantity matters over quality.

We live in a world where poor walks to miles to get food and rich walks to digest.

We live in a world where Honesty, Peace, Equality and Love are just bookish words.

We live in a world where pizza arrive faster than police.

We live in a world where truth offend people and lie comfort them.

We live in a world people have reached Moon but still hesitate to go at neighbor's house.

We live in a world where people have thousands friends on Facebook and still waiting someone to stand outside the ICU.

We live in world where our goodness is consider fake and our help called selfishness.

We live in a world Love is always sacrificed and Hatred is always continue.

We live in a world where people install more security features in their phones than their homes.

We live in a world where taking selfies is more important than helping someone.

We live on the same world where a person, exactly Einstein stated at him as: days are near to relaise that such a man with flesh and blood walked on this earth with us. Who was that: Gandhiji.

We live in a world where if you say the wrong answer in class, you get laughed at.

We live in the world

Where if you dress a certain way, you get looked at.

We live in the world

Where if your grades aren't as good as others, you're stupid.

Where people say “You need to eat more” or “You need to lose weight”.

We live in a world where people don't know the things that others are going through.

We live in the world Where if you don't know what you want to do with your life, you won't have one.

We live in the world Where if you aren't part of the “in-crowd”, you are a loser.

We live in a world where we all expect to live up to other people's expectations.

We live in the world

Where one word can make someone and their life.

We live in the world

Where we constantly judge people.

We live in a world, where being yourself, isn't accepted.

• Mrs. Pooja Hanji: We live in the world where everything is pointed out or criticized, whether it's wrong or right.

We need to go on . Exeptional ones will lead us and others will follow them.

Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.

• Leader. Leena UNV: Kindness is which is the habit to show empathy and always ready to be supportive instead of personality who is famous for that cruel face.

That can be true that a very earthy person is taken into the category of fool or an ignorant individual by some but as there are basically two kinds of personalities in common like coconut personality and mango personality so if we behave and be the mango fruit we can earn true respect may be at later stages but children learn and follow the same

The classroom and the students to be considered our own home and family and to be treated in such manner but alas ! these days teachers are worried for their kids and families (most of them) but consider only their job or the responsibility to teach.

Experiences play role lifetime achievements to sort out other issues and be the winner with flying colours at later stage

• Mrs. Rekha Kumbar UNV: Self Awareness and realisation on why we are here ..and working on our thoughts which gives rise to feelings,actions, attitude ,behaviour and finally destination

• Mrs Suraj: It's true that we are living in a world that has seen transformation in last fifty years where

Chairty is blurred by egotism and hunger is overturned by greed.

In total the fight is Spirituality Vs Materialism. But again if children can't feel pain , can't understand the meaning of.

Similarly if they do wrong can't realize how it feels when you are right.

So experiencing both is necessary to motivate other.

Yet , what is the correct? so what I feel give them freedom to do the wrong and guide them to do the self introspection in decision making.

Even though one try, one can't control children these days.

So here the formula of Content Vs Concept implies

If we want to teach them for life long.

Give them pen in right and mobile in left. Keep a tab. Let, they should not be imoosed but give them choice to experience good and bad themselves. See we just not have to teach but we have to develop skill that sustain lifelong to choice something worthy. Appreciate positively where there is a growth and respond critically where there is fall

And Leve the rest, one will see positive changes oneself.

See there are teachers who complain and there are teachers who make dedicated efforts to experience the changes.

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ellana-ravenwood · 7 years

Text

Don’t leave us... - Batsis x Batfamily (ANGST)

Would you look at that ? In the mood for a somewhat angsty story. Also, I promised more Batsis so...boom, here we are. Written in ten minutes (almost exactly) at 4 am so...UHUH. I hope you will still like it :

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_______________________________________________

You didn’t intend for any of that to happen. It just...somehow did.

If you had waited for him, you know it would have been too late.

Damian was there with you but...there was no way you would have let him do this. Oh no. Not your precious little brother.

You couldn’t bear it. Nor could you bear for your dad to do it really...

You know...You know it’s selfish.

You can’t help but think that, at least, you wouldn’t be the one to suffer. You wouldn’t be the one with a bleeding heart...Yes. It’s totally selfish.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

************

You were at your mom’s place for breakfast that morning, and, half asleep in your bowl of cereal, you didn’t notice your phone buzzing over and over again. Your mother, not totally awake either, also didn’t hear a thing.

Your nose buried in your fifth cup of coffee, you don’t even have the energy to ask your mom if she sent a message to your dad stating that you were home safe, as you forgot to do so the night before...Oh well, it wasn’t much of a big deal, after all, you were a grown up now, it’ll be alright.

It’s only when your father bursts into your mom’s apartment, followed by your brothers, that you finally fully wake up, and that you realize that maybe, not warning your dad that you got home safe wasn’t alright.

It’s true that, usually, when you go to sleep at your mother’s, you send him a quick text to tell him you’re safe and sound but...did he really have to break your mom’s door down ?

No. The answer was no. Oh God, ever since you were born, he just always had to be so damn protective ! Sometimes it was great, but most of the times, it was just extremely annoying.

And right now, faced with your rather annoyed face, cup of coffee still to your lips, Bruce Wayne, your father, kinda miss those days when you were a child and would run to his arms whenever he came to pick you up at your mom’s...

-Really ?

Is all you say, and the look on his and your brothers face says it all. Yeah ok, they know they totally overreacted but...Well, you were the baby of the family. Even though you were a few years older than Damian.

It seemed impossible for your brothers to understand you weren’t a kid anymore...

-Hum...you didn’t text and I thought that...Hum...

Your mother rolls her eyes, and just returns to her breakfast. Here we go again. She lost count of the time she had to replace her front door because Bruce thought you were in some kind of danger. Because you didn’t return his call, because you forgot your “traditional good night text”, because he just had a gut feeling you weren’t alright, because he heard someone saying they’d hurt/kill you...Any reasons really, to come and kick her damn door in.

She was used to it. And she had to admit, though now that you were past the age of a teenager you thought it was incredibly annoying, Selina thought it was quite...endearing. It always made her smile and warm inside. And usually, him being so worried for you, for their little (not so little anymore) daughter...well it was a sure way for their “on/off” relationship to be on again.

Which was gross to think about for you and so, ignoring their “looks” toward each other, you raise to your feet and, with a kiss on your mom’s forehead you take your bag (that contained your nightly activities costume of course...well, it was hard avoiding said activities when you were the daughter of Batman and Catwoman), and leave, rolling your eyes some more as you can see your brothers kinda making sure you’re alright by looking you up and down...Damn those boys. You still couldn’t help but kiss all of them (including your embarrassed dad) on the cheek though.

And with a last “see ya later mommy”, you’re out...unaware that there would never be a “later” for you...

************

You and your mom were rather close. She was often absent, and her need of freedom would sometimes come between you and her but...it was a good relationship. Though you had to admit it was more of a “best friends” kinda thing, than a “mother/daughter” one. After all, she was quite young when she got you and...Well, let’s just say she wasn’t always up to be a mom.

A friend though ? Sure.

But this “on and off” thing you had with your mom meant that you were extremely close from your dad. The man wasn't always the best to express his feelings, but he had always been here..unlike Damian, he had you since you were a baby, as your mom dumped you at the Manor one night, only to return on your third birthday after a “change of mind” (meaning : she realized that even though she was young and didn’t really wanna be a mother...well you were here, and she loved you of a deep feeling she just couldn’t explain...she needed you in her life, your were her flesh and blood, she...She just loved you, and that was that, even if sometimes she needed her space).

Yes. Your father had been there since day one. So has Alfred. Dick arrived in when you were barely 4, and then...Well let’s just say you enjoyed a lot having older brothers.

When Damian arrived, it wasn’t easy at first but...Well, you were brother and sister no matter what you could say, and it ended up just clicking (if you had known that he would have been so clingy by the way, always making sure you were alright and awkwardly hugging you...you’re not sure you would have let things click haha).

He trained you since a very young age and you were as skilled as any of your brothers but...oh he wouldn’t let you go out before you reached the age of 12.

You were so mad when ten years old Damian was out and hopping and fucking killing people and shit ! Until you understood that...Well, Damian wasn’t as lucky as you.

When Damian got hurt, people used to tell him to suck it up, his mother used to tell him to not be weak, his grandfather used to tell him to endure it because one day he’d be King of the World...When you got hurt, Alfred would kiss your booboo and with a hug, all your pain would go away.

You understood that you had different childhood (not saying that yours was easy...you were the Batman’s daughter, nothing could be actually easy).

But still, you were a bit frustrated that he wouldn’t let you go out and fight for the city you so loved...It’s only when he created the League, and Diana told him that it was unfair to forbid you to do anything that finally, you were able to go and protect people.

He would always make sure to have your back though, even if it meant sacrificing his own health for you...which always made you furious.

Oh the number of scars your dad had on his body because he threw himself in front of you (or of one of your brothers really). And oh the number of time your bros got hurt as they jumped to protect you...Of course, you also had countless scars and got hurt countless time protecting them but...It wasn’t the same thing.

You had less occasions to do so because they would never let you...Like, that time Jason took a bullet you wanted to take for him by...yanking you behind him as you were jumping in front of him.

They were impossible really !

Couldn’t they stop protecting you for a second, and let you save their damn lives ?

************

Your wish came earlier than you thought.

As you were coming back from your mother’s apartment, still slightly annoyed at your family for being so damn protective, a very special phone beeped in the car.

The League’s red phone (oh the endless joke you and your brothers made about that...a “red phone” ? Were those people a hundred years old ? ...Well...some of them were...).

Your father answered, and Superman’s super-worried face appeared on the screen. Oh, this wasn’t just a small alert, you could feel it. Because if even Uncle Clark was worried...

Apokolips.

When this word was pronounced, you shivered.

Oh this place always creeped you out. You’ve been only once, when you and the rest of your family were trying to resurrect Damian, and it still haunted you at night. This place really had a fitted name.

It was a living nightmare. A planet where only violence, despair and darkness prospered. And to know that, right now, they were about to attack Earth and destroy every living things on it ? Oh you were freaked out alright.

But of course, it was only a matter of time before Darkseid would put his eyes on Earth, were so many people who challenged him lived on. And in your head, you often repeated to yourself that you’d probably have to fight those creatures from Hell one day but...You were so not ready.

A hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly, brings you back to reality. Tim. And with that simple gesture, you know you’ll never be alone, and you’re ready.

************

You knew. You knew as soon as you saw your father running from the opposite side of the battlefield that he wouldn’t be in time.

Where was a Flash when you needed one ? ...Out. They were all out. Wonder Woman was getting them out of there, back to the watchtower. The fight was almost done but...

Yes. You knew.

Darkseid had not intention on invading Earth. Too much of a hassle. No, the guy must have watched a bit too much Star Wars as his plan was to simply use a weapon of mass destruction on your beloved planet.

It wasn’t exactly a death star, but still close. It was a giant laser like weapon, but instead of completely annihilating the planet, it spread a deadly gas on it and...killed every single living things on it.

Darkseid wanted to turn Earth into a second Apokolips. Wanted to spread his territory. But in order to do that, he had to get rid of everything on it first. Everything alive, to be precised.

And oh how cliché for a superhero...The only way to stop this machine, was to jump in it and destroy it from the inside. But of course, doing that...you’d get killed. No matter if your name was “Superman” or “Green Lantern”, you’d die all the same. And even more cliché ? The one that was about to sacrifice himself was your father.

But he was too far, and you knew that. You, however ? You just had a few feet separating you from the weapon, and only a few enemies in your way. You were about to lunge forward when...A hand grabs your sleeve.

-I won’t let you do it (Y/N) !

-You have to Damian, it’s the only way !

-I’ll go instead of you !

-Yeah, like I’m gonna let that happen.

-And like I’m going to let...

-I’m the oldest one Damian, it’s my duty to protect you. And if I don’t do this, billions of people are going to die Dams ! I have to. You know dad won’t make it in time, and I won’t either if you don’t let go off me. It’s charging right now !

Yes. It was definitely charging to be ready to shoot. But Damian wasn’t letting go of your sleeve, clinging to it like it was a lifeboat.

-I..I won’t let it...I can’t...I can’t loose you !

It breaks your heart, really, to know that you will hurt him more than ever. If the pain he’ll feel will be just a quarter of what you felt when he died...Oh you wished there was another way. A way where you could all come home happy and alive...But there wasn’t.

And he knew. He knew, as tears ran down his face, that you would never let him jump in the laser, even if you had to fight him. He knew that if you did have to fight him, you’d win, and that the fight you had would probably make you waste precious time to save the World and...

Yes. The logical thing to do was to let you go, but...He couldn’t.

He couldn’t let you go. He couldn’t lose you. He couldn’t lose his beloved sister, the one that was always there to cheer him up, the one that understood he was a broken little boy that needed mending, the one that first, along with Dick and Alfred, showed him what love was really like, the one that helped him understand their father...His sister.

His precious sister.

He hated that his grip on your sleeve was getting weaker. But he knew he had to let you go. Because if he didn’t, it was going to be the end of all things...Oh but it would be the end anyway.

He knew that as soon as you’d save the world, as soon as you’d die for people that would never even know what you did for them...his heart would stop beating at the same time than yours.

Damian knew that, when your life would end, so would any trace of happiness in his being. But he had to let you go and, knowing he would forever have to live with the guilt of letting go of you, he releases your sleeve and...falls to his knees as he looks at you run toward the weapon.

No creatures even attack him and, in a way, your little brother wished they would. He wished he would die too today...but he also knew that loosing both you and him would kill his father. And he knew that he would have to be there for him, because your loss ? It would be the worst.

************

-(Y/N) W-What are you doing ?!

You hear in your ear phone, the one connected to all your family. You thought you turned all the channels off, so that they wouldn’t try to convince you to stop, so that you wouldn’t be tempted to...But visibly, you forgot to turn off the most important one.

Your father’s.

-You know what I’m doing dad.

-I forbid you to !

-You can’t, I’m an adult remember ? Besides, I have to.

-No you don’t ! I’m almost there !

You can see your dad, right in front of you, trying to accelerate but...he’s already full speed. And so are you, with no intention of slowing down.

You gotta do this. You gotta save the World. And you know your dad won’t make it in time...Every thing relies on you.

-(Y/N) please don’t do this !

His tone had changed. It changed from commanding to pleading. And once again, you could feel your heart broke bits by bits as you know this is inevitable, and for way too many times in his life, your father will once again have to live through the loss of someone he loved.

But you had to do this.

-Please, please my little one don’t...

“My little one”. He called you like that since you were a baby. It was your favorite pet names, always made you feel safe for some reasons...But it didn’t stop your run. On the contrary, it only made each step stronger.

You dodged many enemies, and didn’t falter once.

-Please, don’t do this, please (Y/N) let the World burn, please, don’t leave me. You can’t leave me baby girl, you just can’t ! Please my little one, don't do it !

-You don’t mean it dad, you know I have to sav...

-I do mean it ! To hell with everyone else ! Don’t do this please ! Don’t do this ! Stay with me, with us, please ! Don’t go !

-I can’t let all those people die...

-Yes you can. Please don’t jump. Or wait for me, I’ll be in time, I’ll do it.

-And then I’ll have to live without you...

Your in front of the pit where the weapon is. You can see what you have to destroy. But you stop for a few seconds, because you need to...You need to say goodbye.

From where you are, you can see tears running down your father’s face, even through his breathing mask. You can see his steps getting weaker and weaker, but he doesn’t stop.

-I have to dad. You know I do. Anyway, what will we do if there’s no world anymore ? We can’t live in the Watchtower just all of us together...

-Yes we can ! YES WE CAN ! TO hell with everyone, they’re ungrateful bastards anyway ! And I need you my little one, I need you (Y/N) ! Who’s going to keep me grounded ? Who’s going to make a snarky remark at me whenever I get too cocky or whatever ? Who’s going to hug my worries away ? Who am I going to tuck in ? What am I gonna do without your forehead kisses and your smile? Who am I going to go to to confess my feelings ?

Your heart tighten. It’s time to jump. But he’s so close, oh your dad is so close...maybe you can wait for a last hug ? Or a last brush of his fingers on your cheek ? In the intercom of your mask, you can hear him continue, and you close your eyes as his voice, that you always thought soothing, resonates in your ears :

-Who’s going to be my confident ? Who’s going to watch stupid movies with me ? Please (Y/N), please my baby girl, my little one, sweetheart, let me do this. Please just wait a little bit, I’m almost there, don’t do it please. Don’t leave us ! I love you (Y/N), I love you my little girl ! Please don’t...

It’s time to jump. You know it. No time for a last touch with your father, though he’s so, so close...He knows what you’re about to do, as he extends his arms in front of him, ready to grab you and put himself in your place.

But he’d be too late. You just know it.

His screams of despair and pain are the last things you hear, as you jump down and barely have the time to tear away the parts you need to destroy the machine.

His screams. The screams of a father who just witnessed his beloved daughter die. His screams...The screams of a broken man. It’s the last thing you hear. And you almost regret doing it...but it’s too late.

You wished you would have had time to feel his arms around you one last time. His protective arms. That were there for you all your life. That felt you grow and always loved you. But...There wasn’t any time for that.

He wouldn’t have had time to save everyone. You tear away the parts, just as the machine was about to shoot, right on time and...Black.

Everything is black. And you don’t hear your father’s screams anymore...

************

She didn’t utter a sound.

She didn’t say a word.

When your father arrived at her apartment, visibly shook to the core, bags under his eyes, puffy eyes as if he had cried for days...She knows.

She knows what happened, and she doesn’t say anything.

They stay like that for a long time, in front of each others. And they both know that from now on, their famous “on/off” relationship is definitely “off”.

Finally, she moves. She calmly walks to him, and slaps him with all her might, to then say those simple words :

-Get out.

He knows. He knows what she’s thinking.

It’s his fault. He’s the one that brought you there. He’s the one that trained you. He’s the one that allowed you to become a Robin, and then your own version of it. He’s the reason you died. It’s his fault.

And so he leaves, without a look behind him. He leaves, to never ever come back to this place again. He ignores your favorite book half-read on the living room’s coffee table. He ignores your favorite plushy that you’ve had since you were born, and could never get rid off, laying there, forever alone, on the couch. He ignores your finished cup, your favorite mug, down in the sink. He ignores drawing you’ve made all over your years, and pictures of you and your mom on the walls...He ignores everything and “gets out”. Never looking back.

And oh it was good that he didn’t look back, because the sight of the woman he loved (and would always love despite everything that has happened), down in a ball on the floor, crying silently the lost of their daughter...it would have been too much.

************

It’s weird. A parent shouldn’t have to bury their own child. And yet...that’s exactly what’s happening right now.

The entire league is here. Your brothers are here. Alfred too. And your dad.

There is no speech. No one felt like they could do you justice with just words. There is no speech but a giant firework.

You loved fireworks.

Your father do not speak to anyone, and as soon as everything is over, he leaves. He cannot...He cannot do this. Too many losses. Too much pain...He clutches the picture of you he had on his nightstand, that he put right next to a picture of his parents, and other pictures of your brothers and..he doesn’t let go. He doesn’t let go for hours. And he would never let go of your memory. He keeps thinking that he’s going to wake up from a bad dream, that he’ll feel your little six years old hand on his face, squeezing it as you used to to wake him up, and that all that was just a nightmare. He keeps thinking that he’s going to wake up, and discover that he had a weird super long dream about a life that never actually happened. That little you is going to burst in his room to wake him up. That he was never going to train you, you were never going to be a night vigilante, you weren’t going to be on Apokolips that day and...Reality hits him right in the face. Without you, the World would have died. But...Why doesn’t that thought makes him feel better ? You saved billions of daughters and yet...he cannot for the life of him feel better about all of that.

Because you’re gone. His little one is gone. Forever...

Alfred was devastated. Never ever again would he see you run down the Manor, be clumsy and fall, and ask for him to shoo your pain away with a kiss. Never again would you...nev...never...He can’t even finish his thoughts. Even in his own head he sobs uncontrollably. His little (Y/N) was gone. Forever.

Your brothers are no better. If not worst. Especially Damian, because he let go of your sleeves. Dick, Jason and Tim try to console him but...he can feel in their voice their resentment, even though they’re trying to hide it.

They agree with him. It’s kinda his fault. Because he let go of their precious little sister. If it had been one of them instead...They would have hold on.

But it wasn't fair to react like that, because he had lost a sister too, and he was so damn close from you...They all were. But Damian and you ? There was something special. And one day, one day they’d be able to tell him “It’s ok, it’s not your fault” and really mean it. But right now ? Right now they couldn’t.

Because you were gone. Forever.

___________________________

Hum...Yeah. Meh. Not enough feelings, I feel. Everything is going too fast Not sad enough, for the death of Batsis...Uh.. Also it’s 4 am. Good night, and sorry (cause obvs, I’m still posting this anyway).

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sometimesrosy · 7 years

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The Carriage House

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rosymamacita

Summary:

Bellamy and Clarke are co-teachers. They are GREAT partners. But they are both about to be homeless. So when they get the chance to rent an amazing apartment-- a carriage house with a courtyard garden in a great neighborhood--at an unbeatable price. They have to take it.

Even if it comes with an over-involved weirdly religious land lady who wants a married couple as tenants. They're great partners. They can pretend to be married a little. How hard could it be?

(Fake marriage bitches. I could pretend to be sorry or ashamed, but I’m not. Fluff too. And pining. Loveliness all the way through. I don’t even care.)

Bellamy and Clarke toured the carriage house in Greenwich Village and could hardly believe it.

“Are you *sure* that’s how much they’re asking for for a two bedroom carriage house in a courtyard garden on Perry Street? Because this doesn’t seem correct,” Bellamy asked the realtor, Monroe, again.

“With twelve foot ceilings and hard wood floors and french doors and..” Clarke wasn’t going to stop unless he stopped her, so he put a hand on her arm. She let out a breath and went quiet.

“Right,” he continued, “Because, uhm, we’re public school teachers. And we shouldn’t be able to afford this place. In this location.”

“No. Yeah. That’s the rent…” Monroe nodded and made a face.

“But…” Clarke prompted, looking at Bellamy because she didn’t believe it either.

“Well, the landlady is a special case. She’s uhm, very religious.”

“Okay…” Bellamy added when Monroe didn’t go on.

“And she wants a married couple.”

“Oh,” Clarke started.

Monroe held up her hand. “But I mean, she doesn’t need to see your marriage license or anything.” She laughed uncomfortably. “That would be illegal. No. Her son, who owns the house, he knows, right? He knows that times are different now and people don’t need those marriage ceremonies to commit, and you’re such a nice couple. He has a soft spot for teachers because he started out as one and his mother was one her whole life, and he really likes you kids, so you’re okay with fibbing to Vera, right? I mean. It won’t be such a big deal, except maybe wear some rings and call each other ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ once in a while, right? Because Vera lives in the main house and you would share the garden. She loves gardening.”

Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other. They weren’t a couple. They were teaching partners who worked with a student cohort together. He taught History and Theater and she taught English and Art and worked together. Just worked. They just got along so well that when both of their leases were up and they got a lead on this great two bedroom apartment— house even— in this great neighborhood walking distance from the school they taught at, they decided to be roommates. Nothing romantic about that at all. It was a totally normal situation for New York City, where housing was so expensive. Not romantic. Just partners. Sharing expenses. They were teachers! They had to. It was an economic necessity.

They hadn’t told the realtor they were a couple, had they? Partners. He was sure they’d said partners. Bellamy opened his mouth to correct the realtor, but Clarke laid her hand over his that was still on her arm. She squeezed. “We’re practically married already, to be honest,” she said.

Bellamy turned to her, aghast.

She wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned into him, which to be truthful had his brain short-circuiting a little. Their coworkers joked about them being married, but they were certainly NOT married, or he wouldn’t have these vivid fantasies about what he was not allowed to do with his beautiful teaching partner. He hadn’t been in a relationship in a long time, was all. He needed to get laid, and meanwhile was seeing Clarke every day, being so passionate and smart and there. Always there. He was really bad at relationships. Too much baggage. He always did something to ruin them and he wouldn’t risk that with his partner. They were too good together. No. This would be bad. So he pushed it down, like he always did.

But Clarke was already talking. Accepting. She tugged him along the garden path (it was a gorgeous garden) back into the carriage house, (there was a fireplace!) where Monroe took out her paperwork. Clarke was signing things before he even really knew what was going on. He was a little dazzled, between the sunlight streaming through the french doors and the memory of Clarke leaning against him.

“But I don’t understand,” she said as she scrolled her pretty signature in the right places. “Why is the rent so cheap? They have to know they could be getting more for it.”

“Yes,” Monroe said, turning the page for another signature. “But it’s Vera. She’s religious, like I said, and she’s also very involved in the carriage house tenants.”

“What’s that?” Bellamy asked. Involved?

“She misses her son and her other kids who moved to the west coast. She just loves having young people around and always wants to adopt them. And with your references—“

“References?” Bellamy asked. They hadn’t asked anyone to give them references yet. This was their first time seeing the place.

“Jaha,” Clarke said, tugging on his arm again. “I told you, he’s the one who got us this opportunity. I practically grew up in his house.” Right. Thelonious Jaha. The school superintendent. Bellamy had thought for a long time that Clarke had only gotten her job at their school because of nepotism, because she’d grown up with the superintendent, not because she was a great teacher with a passion for teaching, her subject areas and the importance of education in social justice and freedom. He looked at Clarke. He could hardly even remember that time when he’d thought she was a spoiled princess. She’d turned out to be so much more.

“Exactly.” Bellamy turned to Monroe, who he’d forgotten was even there for a moment. “Vera feels you’re already part of the family and Marcus trusts Jaha’s judgment.”

“So wait. This isn’t an application?”

Monroe pointed to the papers for Clarke to sign. “No. This is a three year lease.” She slid the lease over to Bellamy and gave him the pen.

He looked at Clarke, shell shocked. She smiled at him, with that tight lipped grin that said to him ‘do it or else I will destroy you.’

“Clarke…” he said, warningly.

Clarke’s expression changed totally. Her blue eyes went huge and liquid and she looked at him in a way that made him nervous.

Her smile got soft then.

Very nervous.

She slid an arm around his waist and pressed up against him again, She was so soft, he nearly choked on his own tongue. “Come on, baby,” she said, and his freaking heart stopped right in its tracks. “I know it’s a big step, but we can do it.”

He could just stare at her.

“Please, baby,” she said and he knew it was fake. Clearly it was fake. She was not his wife or his girlfriend or anything vaguely romantic. They were friends and partners at work and had decided to move in together, even though he was fighting his stupid attraction to her. It was just temporary. He was sure he’d get involved with someone else and it would fade away back into the background where it used to be. I mean, she was undeniably beautiful. Anyone would be attracted to her, that was all. Just normal attraction. It was just hard to remember at this point in time with her warm breast pressed up against his chest, so soft against him and her warm words so soft and cajoling. She smelled like flowers on a spring breeze. “It’s such a beautiful home,” she said. “Imagine living here.” And he was starting to imagine it. This was such a bad idea. “Do it for me, Bell?” she whispered, and he closed his eyes and reached for the pen.

“Aww, see now?” Monroe said. “That’s love.”

It was? He had the sinking feeling that this would all end up terribly but there was something in him that wanted it so, so much.

Clarke clapped her hands together happily as he signed the lease making them roommates for the next three years. With a landlady who thought they were married and was involved with her tenants lives. And he would not be able to have a girlfriend, or at least it would be tricky, in order to get over his attraction to Clarke. Who he would be living with. On a daily basis. And faking a marriage with. And falling in love with like the true and complete idiot he was.

He signed the lease and handed it back to Monroe.

Clarke through her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “It’s going to be so amazing, Bellamy! I can’t wait to move in.”

He was going to die.

#bellarke #bellarke fan fiction #fake marriage #sorry not sorry #fluff #the carriage house #muahahahaha #truth: my camp nano project was stressing me out and I needed to do something just for fun. this is it

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withasmoothroundstone · 7 years

Quote

Sam, eager to see more, went now and joined the guards. He scrambled a little way up into one of the larger of the bay-trees. For a moment he caught a glimpse of swarthy men in red running down the slope some way off with green-clad warriors leaping after them, hewing them down as they fled. Arrows were thick in the air. Then suddenly straight over the rim of their sheltering bank, a man fell, crashing through the slender trees, nearly on top of them. He came to rest in the fern a few feet away, face downward, green arrow-feathers sticking from his neck below a golden collar. His scarlet robes were tattered, his corslet of overlapping brazen plates was rent and hewn, his black plaits of hair braided with gold were drenched with blood. His brown hand still clutched the hilt of a broken sword. It was Sam’s first view of a battle of Men against Men, and he did not like it much. He was glad that he could not see the dead face. He wondered what the man’s name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil of heart, or what lies or threats had led him on the long march from his home; and if he would not really rather have stayed there in peace – all in a flash of thought which was quickly driven from his mind.

J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings book 4, chapter 4 - “Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit”

Sometimes you can be pretty sure that something conveyed in a book was, at minimum, an emotional reality the author was familiar with. Tolkien was a veteran of World War I. World War I changed the way everyone viewed war -- the scale and destruction were totally different. And while he hated people trying to find exact symbolic parallels between things in his work and things in his writing, the way he writes about war would be impossible prior to World War I.

If you want to get an idea of how World War I changed the world, I can tell you what finally got it through to me, and it’s likely a surprise to anyone who hasn’t read the series: L. M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables. The whole series. In chronological order (not order they were written in, but order according to the storyline).

Because most of the series is written in a pre-WWI world. But one book — Rilla of Ingleside — takes place during World War I. And everything changes. Everything. Reading the loss of innocence that happens at that point in the series mirrors the loss of innocence of a lot of the world after that war. Having been born during the last part of the Cold War, I’ve never known a world with the kind of innocence that came before World War I, World War II, and the Cold War with its constant neverending threat of nuclear war. I’d been told how World War I had changed things, but it frankly hadn’t interested me.

Rilla of Ingleside, by the way, is the only book about Canadian women’s experience of World War I, written by a Canadian woman who had lived through World War I. It really deserves more fame — and reading — than it gets. It charts what happens to Anne’s family, particularly her spoiled daughter Rilla, during the war. Their collective loss of innocence, Anne’s lament that the only use for her famously vivid and fanciful imagination now was to constantly imagine her sons dead in a foreign country, the sheer number of men lost, people abandoning babies leaving them to die because they can’t cope with the stress anymore, and even body lice(!) make their appearances in this book.

It’s still an Anne of Green Gables book, but it takes the characters, treats them like real people, and puts them through the situation of World War I in a way that is startlingly realistic. And knowing those characters, having grown up knowing those characters, knowing everything about those characters before the point of that book — watching the changes in each of them showed me the impact of WWI in a way little else ever has. Sometimes it’s easier to see something through the eyes of one tiny place and time and one tiny group of people, than it is to see it written about broadly. It makes it personal. It shows you how real people were affected. And L. M. Montgomery does an amazing job with that book. I got the impression that, some fanciful elements aside, the things she wrote about were the things she’d seen.

Anyway, back to the quote of Tolkien’s...

It’s Memorial Day. And it’s supposed to be a day of honoring our soldiers who died at war. And…

Everyone says that you can’t honor soldiers and criticize their actions at the same time. That you have to just say, “They sacrificed their lives to fight for American freedom,” and leave it at that. And I can’t say that — not exactly. Because I don’t believe every war has been about protecting our freedoms or anyone else’s. I don’t believe every war has had noble motivations. I don’t believe ever war has had good consequences. I don’t believe that Americans are always the “good guys” in a war. I don’t believe that there is always a side that is the “good guys” in a war — Tolkien said to his son who was in World War II, that one of his inaccuracies in Lord of the Rings was, to quote him directly: “Not that in real life things are as clear cut as in a story, and we started out with a great many Orcs on our side.”

In other words, there’s good and bad people, and everything in between, on every side of every war. People’s reasons for fighting are so varied and complex that you can’t sum it all up as self-sacrifice to defend freedom. But I guess I can say — whether or not a war has actually been about defending our freedoms, I can appreciate the sacrifices of people who went and died in wars of all kinds believing they were protecting freedom, or honor, or their homeland, or other important things. I can understand and honor their sacrifice even if there are cases where I don’t believe what they believe about the exact nature of what they were doing in any particular war.

And we can’t forget that many people are forced into wars. People get drafted. People (especially poor people and other people without a lot of power) get lured in with the promise of a free education or other such things, never believing they’ll really have to fight, then they go off and fight and die. Some are more aware of the risk but take that calculated risk, and it kills them. Some get expertly lied to by recruiters who specifically target poor people and people of color and have learned what promises to make to lure them in. And let me be clear: Being lured into this is not a sign of stupidity and I’m not looking down on people it happens to. Everyone is susceptible to persuasion, and believing yourself not susceptible (because you’re “smart enough to know better” or whatever) only renders you more susceptible in the end.

Some people go to war because they are conscience-free adrenaline junkies who have found a place where killing is honored and danger keeps them in a hyped-up state they find thrilling. I have no desire to honor them, regardless of what they do or don’t do. They didn’t die for a noble cause — not even for an imagined noble cause — they died because they liked killing and got into a dangerous situation they couldn’t get out of.

Anyway, I have a huge respect for anyone who dies in a war believing that they have sacrificed their life for their country or for a good cause. I respect their intentions — whether or not what they thought they were doing is actually what they were doing. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself in that position fully believing in what you are doing.

I also have a lot of respect for soldiers who die trying to keep other soldiers, or civilians, from getting killed. Regardless of other context.

So in my own way I do honor most dead soldiers. But it doesn’t mean I have to agree with the wars they were in. It doesn’t mean I have to agree that their belief they were fighting for freedom actually meant they were fighting for freedom, serving their country, or any of the other cliches that are trotted out to justify every war, even wars that are clearly about power and conquest and money more than anyone’s freedom at all.

Mind you, I think even necessary wars are horrible. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t go to war in certain circumstances — if people were invading my country to conquer or destroy it, I would probably fight in any way I could, if I thought it would be constructive to do so. But there is no real winner in a war, both sides lose important things. And war in general is awful and you can’t sugarcoat that with tales of heroism and sacrifice. But I can fully appreciate what that sacrifice means to those who believe in it — whether they are right or wrong. And that includes many people on both sides of any given war — not just the side my country happens to be on. I’m not one of those people who thinks my country is always on the good side of wars, somehow. I don’t even think it’s possible for any country to be consistently on the good side, and I don’t think there is always any good side at all. And to think what the USA has been doing to other countries lately is good, is stretching the meaning of good well beyond the breaking point.

But I can still honor the fact that people have given their lives for their country, for many different reasons, whether or not I think they should have been there in the first place. And like Tolkien, I think if I were in a war and met with the other side I would not see only evil — I would see good and evil on both sides, and I would see otherwise good people (on both sides) pushed into situations where they’re doing evil things. War can bring out people’s best qualities sometimes, but it frequently brings out our worst qualities as well.

And I think pretending that every time Americans go to war and die, they’re sacrificing their lives for the wonderful American ideals of freedom and democracy and etc., doesn’t help anyone. And doesn’t really more than superficially honor dead soldiers, because many soldiers die horribly disillusioned after seeing what’s really going on, and many soldiers aren’t there for those idealistic reasons, and many soldiers are there for idealistic reasons but their idealism doesn’t match the reality of what the war is really about because they’ve been sold a line of BS somewhere along the line.

So my thoughts on Memorial Day are complicated at best. But don’t ever mistake my lack of belief that everyone who dies in a war is sacrificing their life for a beautiful heroic ideal�� for the idea that I think soldiers are stupid or worthless or something. Or for the idea that I don’t recognize that when they sacrifice their lives for an ideal, they’re still doing something important for what they believe in, even if I don’t agree with their belief that the war is really about that ideal at all.

At the same time, don’t mistake the fact that I truly do honor dead American soldiers, for being against soldiers on the other side of whatever war is in question. And don’t mistake it for the idea that I somehow really do support every war America has ever been involved in.

And yes, it’s possible to have complicated beliefs about these things. And yes, I have relatives who’ve been in the military, some survived and some didn’t.

Among those who didn’t survive: A cousin of my dad’s father, who enlisted for who knows what reason, and ended up dying at the hands of his own side. I don’t mean “friendly fire”. I mean something much worse than that. I mean that he was unwittingly used to study the effects of nuclear bombs on human beings and died of the biological consequences of severe radiation exposure.

I don’t know why he enlisted. I don’t know if he thought he was serving his country, or if he was there for economic reasons (most of my family has been poor, for generations), or something else. All I know is they put him and other low-ranking soldiers in a trench in Nevada and exploded a nuke in front of them to see what, if anything, it would do.

He died as a result of his military service, he probably thought he was serving his country, but he sure as hell didn’t ever voluntarily agree to be a guinea pig for the effects of nuclear bombs on human beings. So on Memorial Day I remember him most of all, and it feels like such a fucking destructive devious disgusting waste. And pretending that my country was honorable in killing him and that he somehow sacrificed his life for American freedom doesn’t seem to honor his memory whatsofuckingever.

#J.R.R. Tolkien #Lord of the Rings #Anne of Green Gables #Rilla of Ingleside #World War I #World War II #war #Memorial Day #remembrance #soldiers #family #nuclear war #Cold War #nuclear testing #nuclear testing on soldiers #military #death #nuclear bombs

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elysiumrp · 7 years

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Congratulations EMMA! You have been accepted as Tereza Castelo. Please go through the checklist and send in your account within 24 hours. If you need more time, make sure you send a message to the main.

Emma!! I’m so excited to see you back, and to see you as Tereza no less is absolutely amazing. She is one of my favorite characters I wrote for this new Elysium revamp, and the first I wrote as well, so to see her picked up again is absolutely awesome. I loved your sample para, and I also completely support your headcanon that you mentioned in your anything else section. I know that you’ll do Tereza justice, and I can’t wait to see you play the beautiful Camila Mendes on the dash. Welcome to Elysium!!

OOC INFO

Name: Emma Age: 21 Timezone: CST Preferred Pronouns: She/Her Previous RP Experience: [RFP] Activity Level: I should be on fairly often. I am also a full-time student and have a job. However, I tend to make time for my rps. Anything Else: Nope

IC INFO

Character Name: Tereza Castelo Why did you choose this character:

When I was looking to rejoin this rp, I had originally been debating on reclaiming one of my old characters. However, I saw the most wanted characters, my attention fell on Tereza more than it fell on Alexandra. I read her bio and fell in love though it definitely helps that Camila is totally my woman crush. I feel that Tereza has the great opportunity to be a very complex and amazing character that I would love to breathe life into.

Describe your plan for them:

I would like to help and watch Tereza grow in her relationships, as well as just growing on her own. I feel as a 700+ vampire, Tereza has absorbed a great deal of knowledge throughout her years. However, she continues to crave that desire and passion for knowledge. She has done everything she can to learn as much as she can about how to hack to help her cause. I would like to watch her use her own knowledge and wisdom to help herself in situations, as well as teach others around her. I feel I would like to explore how she is dealing with the pain of not seeing her son grow to a man, as well as Tereza still attempting to justify the decision to herself. I also am interested in playing out how she manages being an older vampire while still keeping her species a secret in a world that knows about the supernatural. I feel that it takes a great deal of cunning on her part.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the initial reveal of the supernatural world:

When Tereza received the news, she was stunned. It meant a drastic change from the world as she knew it for people like her. One of the reasons she left her son was the fact that she was what she was. Tereza had lived long enough to see the damage that humans can cause. When she found out that the supernatural world was now in the open, she could not help other than to think that certain humans would try to drive out or destroy the supernatural population. She only believed certain humans though because Tereza knows there is bad and good in any species. All she could hope was that her fears were not going to come true. Yet, after witnessing someone like Hilter firsthand, she was sure that she would sadly be right in her fears.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the current state of the world, and how it impacts them as an individual:

As a vampire, the outing of the supernatural was very substantial to her and she was very weary when they starting registering supernatural. There was only one time she remembered people being registered and it did not end pretty for the people who had been registered. The fierce woman is not going to allow her people be taken out without a fight. In order to have this fight, she remains in the shadows about what she is and uses her computer skills to give her side information. While she knows the fight for equality is a dangerous path, it is one that she is extremely passionate about and she wouldn’t be doing anything else.

Para Sample:

It was ironic that she was cornered by the fire when Tereza always felt that her specialty over the years had developed to be ice. Life had grown cruel to her through the years that she had been with her husband that she felt herself changing from her once bright self to someone a bit more bitter towards the world. The only light that she found in life at the time was Andres, her only son. However, as she stared at the flames before her feeling herself almost melting away, she couldn’t help other than to wonder what it would be like if she just let the fire consume her. So, she stood there watching the flames dance before her like her own personal show that was growing closer and closer. It was when the fire began to touch her that she began to scream and question her decision. The fire was more painful than what she could imagine. Tereza had been wrong. This entire idea was utterly insane. How could she have believed that this was the right way out. What would Andres do without a mother? The woman began to search madly for an escape, for an exit. Her breathing became labored as the smoke continued to fill her lungs and began to faint just as a dark figure caught her.

The next thing Tereza remembered was waking up to the cool air freezing her skin. The burning pain of the cold felt oddly similar to the fire that she had just escaped from. The young woman didn’t understand why the man was forcing some liquid down her throat that still felt as though it was a flame. She hadn’t even realized that it was blood from a vampire that she was tasting as she slowly fell into what felt like a deep sleep. Tereza woke up hours later feeling better than ever. The world seemed a whole lot more vivid like she had been living her entire life with the dimmer switch on low. Everything was brighter, more colorful, stronger smelling and certainly louder. She could hear the footsteps coming towards this bedroom that wasn’t hers and when the door opened, she was greeted by a kind gentleman.

“¿Cómo está usted?” The man asked her to gauge how she was doing after the transition. He was a beautiful man and she had felt she had seen him around though she did not leave her house to often because of her husband. However, she wondered why he had brought her here instead of a hospital. Yet, the man must have been a doctor with how well she was feeling now. The only issue that she had was the itch in the back of her throat that was telling her that she was thirsty.

“Bien, ¿y usted?” Tereza responded politely as she sat up to face the man fully. “ ¿Quién es usted?” She asked curious of who the man was and why he brought her here. That question began a series of many questions that night as the vampire began to explain everything that happened to her and what she had become. Tereza listened to every single word that came dripping off of his tongue as though her own life depended on it because it very well did. The man who stood before her, a man whose name was Matias, had given her a new life. His very name meant gift from God was this a sign? Was he her savior and escape from a life that she was not meant to live? He offered her to stay with him and offered her a home that he would help her with her transition into the life of a vampire. She thanked him then told him she needed a moment to think everything over, which the man respected and left her to be alone.

All the thoughts she had during the fire seemed to come back. Could she really leave Andres without a mother? Now, she was a vampire that feed from the life essence of living beings and did not age. Would she be able to fulfill her role as a mother while living in the shadows? It would be a few years and people would be bound to notice that she was different from the rest and not in the way that she used to be. She was no longer different by the way that she held herself or her beauty, but different in a twisted way that set her free from the hands of time. As she thought of that, she thought of how beautiful freedom would taste. Tereza thought of how this opportunity provided her a chance to become her old self again. She would be able to love life and live free of the chains that her husband had placed on her so many years ago. Tereza called Matias back into the room and told him that she would like to learn from him. Even though her heart broke for her son as she admitted her true desires, she was finally free.

Any questions/concerns/things you’d like to change: (siblings to add, pronouns, sexuality you’d like to specify, personality, face claim, history, etc., etc.)

I have a head canon that I wanted to include in my app if that makes sense:

Medieval Spain had been a scene of almost constant warfare between Muslims and Christians that Tereza had witnessed. I have a head canon that during her lifetime, she was a devote Catholic. During her times where she was torn between her own desires and being a dutiful wife for her husband that she did not love, Tereza found herself at the alter praying for guidance. Though she became a vampire and left her family, which were both actions that she believed God would damn her for, she kept her faith. As she traveled throughout her long life, she had visited many Cathedrals that were absolutely breathtaking. While she is not the most open to admitting her religious views, she would definitely not deny that she believes in a God. However, she also believes in a God that would most likely send her to hell for the species she is and part of her past. Due to this belief, she tries her hardest to redeem herself in helping others when she can.

#accepted #supernatural rp #lsrpg #supernatural rpg #new rp

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