Hera: So how fast is the Marauder?
Omega: I once heard Wrecker say it has three speeds. Here, there, then kriffing gone.
Echo: LANGUAGE!
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Omega: *sneaking back onto the Marauder late at night*
Hunter: *From the pilots seat* Where have you been?
Omega: *Freezes*
Omega: Erm…with Crosshair?
Crosshair: *Spins round in the Co-pilot seat*
Crosshair: Try Again.
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Omega: but Rex lost so many men. Is he okay?
Echo: not gonna lie this is an average Thursday for him
Omega:
Omega: THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER-
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Spoiler-Free Incorrect Bad Batch Quotes
Hunter: Did you check your lunch? I put a little note in your bag to tell you that I love you.
Omega, opening the bag: Hunter, this is a 10-page letter.
__
Phee, unbuttoning shirt: Damn, it's so hot in here!
Tech: I get that, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
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Hunter: My daughter said she really wants to watch "Murder on the Polar Express" and shit now so do I.
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Wrecker: Can we go to Dex's? Shakes are 1.99 right now!
Echo: I thought you were lactose intolerant?
Wrecker: Not at that price!
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Omega: Crosshair, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?
Crosshair: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Omega.
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Omega: Hey, Crosshair, are you awake?
Crosshair: What?
Omega: Are you awake?
Crosshair: Who do you think said "what"?
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Echo: What is your biggest fear?
Rex: Oh, I'm incredibly arachnophobic.
Wrecker: You don't want the spiders to get married?
Rex: ......
Tech, sighing while putting his fork down: Wrecker, why-
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Crosshair: Hey, nerd!
[Echo, Tech, and Omega all turn around]
Crosshair: Oh, you all turned around? Wow.
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Incorrect Bad Batch Quotes #9
Crosshair: Do they teach you plan 72?
Omega: Is that the one where you sing in a hula skirt so I can get by unnoticed?
Crosshair:.... Let's go with that one. That one's better.
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Tech: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking.
Crosshair: Huh?
Tech: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid just to piss me off. So cut it out-
Crosshair: I love you.
Tech:
Crosshair:
Crosshair: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.
Tech: I KNEW IT!!
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Omega: when I am rich
*points to Hunter*: you're getting therapy
*points to Tech, Wrecker and Echo*: you're getting therapy
*points to Crosshair*: you're getting double therapy
Omega: EVERYONE'S healing
Omega: yes :)
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Wrecker: Which one of you was gonna tell me tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?
Tech: *visibly stiffens* You’re putting it in cold water????
Echo: Wrecker?? Answer the question, Wrecker!
Wrecker: Yeah I thought for like five years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn’t realize that there was an actual reason
Echo: You don’t have the patience to microwave water for three minutes??
Tech: Why are you..putting it in the microwave to BOIL IT??!!
Echo: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on a stove?!
Tech: It👏🏻takes👏🏻less👏🏻than👏🏻a👏🏻minute!!
Echo: TECH is your stove powered by the KRIFFING SUN?!?!
Tech: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE?!?!?!?
Echo: Like seven minutes!!
Tech: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like two minutes. Less then that and you use a sauce pan
Echo: You’re putting the whole mug on the stove?! On medium heat??!! Your stove is enchanted!
Hunter: Every single person on this ship is a Kriffing lunatic
Crosshair: DO NONE OF YOU OWN A KRIFFING KETTLE?!?!?
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Crosshair, drunk af: Oh my God it’s bisexual lightning!
Hunter: Crosshair that’s the POLICE!
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