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mbslost · 2 months

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hi. yes i came back for another yapping session, ironic.

i would like to express some of my feelings towards... some interesting things.

1. The Strade nazi drawing

i talked about his before, i am aware, but later (while reading other opinions as well) i got reminded about EP (Electricpuke for those who dont know him). did we all forgot HOW MANY nazi drawings he made? dont you believe that's an influence as well? if i remember correctly, Gato cut ties with him because of his abusive behaviour (there arent many people talking about this but some user are aware about his actions. sadly i wasnt in the community when that happened)

literally there are people calling Gato a nazi when she doesn't support the ideology. why did no one act the same with EP? different standards? the fact he left (probably) for good? still its not an excuse to call Gato a nazi. also she apologised multiple times. again MULTIPLE TIMES. even in the callout post in twt you can see the fact she IS sorry for drawing that. that she REGRETS it

edit: kay found a ss on tt from the user @/gorturic where Gato said this as well

again, she doesn't support any nazi shit :/

2. The way others silence opinions that they dont like

im not saying you should be forced to agree with it, but when you make a callout account, normally, you let multiple people say their opinions over that thing. you can even show proof when you see someone is wrong. thats how argument work, crazy ik.

i start to see that if you defend Gato or just leave the community because the fandom its on thin ice, you'll be harassed and bullied for your choices. first of all, HOW ABOUT WE LEAVE PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH BTD/TPOF ANYMORE ALONE. good? literally saw multiple users being harassed by this. its THEIR decision, suck it up. also can we stop SENDING DEATH THREATS???

or the fact that if you do have a point, they'll immediately cancel it with the "oh but its not important". it can be if you have some proofs for their misinformation (just like i proved the variety of poc characters Gato CREATED. didnt talk about Ren since he's another story)

3. Lack of proof for the side allegations.

if people noticed mods harassing people sm, why didnt they talk? why arent there ss of their conversations? we dont even know (most of us) what they even commented about (aside of Pussyspieler drawing). or the twt user that was wronged. that situation was like.. kind of a "im more autistic so you should shut up" (i have to add that i asked people on the spectrum about this and that was their point of view) of course the mod shouldn't have said it like that but.. its more of a misunderstanding really.. that doesnt mean you cant be upset. you absolutely can. everyone can react differently so dont harass them for feeling down or for being frustrated.

also the spanish (or mexican idk) users that just copied and translated @/renhanasgf posts with little to no new information. just the same thing. (although they said something of Gato not sending merch to latin America. probably because of the laws back then or the fact that the transport fee would be high af. im still searching for the reason tho so ill need some time for that one).

4. This fandom is messed up

people when fans of horror porn games are problematic 🤯. i agree that some people are being like extreme with their reactions, but no one is perfect here. just like i approached the situation completely wrong, they did the same. of course, now if you go around and be a racist piece of shit, you shoudl just stay off the internet for a while. luckily more approach the "like the art not the artist" thing.

look. you can always block users that you dont like (just like i do to those who are either into csam,thanks for telling me ab this term anon!, or incest). i know. shocking that people can block others.

after all these fandoms are not for the weak. there may be some safe spaces in it as well but... lets be real... its still going to be problematic. if you cant handle the community or how others act around here, then id suggest for you to not have a close interaction with others. like uhm, just, appreciate the content, not every person around here. just be aware of the users, stau safe okay?

5. Will i stop yapping?

not until i will see an agreement in the fandom. Gato is a human, of course she will do mistakes. especially if she's anxious or tired. having hundreds of people around you its hard and i can imagine it. having supoortive people only to wake up with people hating you. i hope she's safe and that she wont have to go to the hospital again. i pray for her well being, and to others that got spammed with those disgusting comments.

im not saying we should forget about this like.. her poor management and emotional way of responding to things, but is it truly worth it? to force a person to apologise just because they tried to fix things?

i also dont think ill stop because i just feel like im the only one that does talk here (trying to even prove wrong on some things). if others do it as well, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG ME I WANNA SEE THEM😭 also because most people are still so confused about EVERYTHING. for some reason this drama its only getting more popular on tt for some reason.. which is a big no no since there are a lot of YOUNG people. i believe this should be talked here, and on twitter. (idk what to say about telegram)

ill stop here since my sickness got me. i will edit it later to add or correct myself but *sighs*

please stay safe and try to view more opinions over this. DONT SPAM OR HARASS ANYONE WHO ONLY WANTED TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS. we'll see on Sunday how things will turn out.

(if i missed something out or said something wrong please correct me)

#gatobob #btd #boyfriend to death #tinr #btd2 #i also got tired of this or the multiple hateful messages that i had to delete since there were full of kys #untill then we'll see. i also wish to take a break because i got ill and this axiety aint helping much #whatever happens i wish Gatobob will be safe and will come back without any more backlash.#i do realise that me talking too much wont help either but.. i cant help it. the voices are winning

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ecoamerica · 24 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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azumasoroshi · 1 year

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minidura chapter 11 react

ok i found chapter 11 translated by amnemonie on tumblr (thank you thank you thank you and if you want me to take this down i will!!) but there's no guarantee ill be able to find the rest lmAOo we'll see

HOT MAN!!! HOT MAN

i mean what no pathetic sopping wet man

cat face izaya i thought id never see you again

man after realizing there's a minidura tag i saw a post that was like "i wish minidura got animated like bsd wan" and like. YEAH. PLEASE

it would be the perfect revival of the durarara fandom pleaseeeeeee do it for meeeeeeee we could revive durarara like we revived trigun

and i need shizuo izaya and shinra cooking together being animated. please

anyway izaya looks like he really doesnt wanna be here in that last panel and i mildly spoiled myself on the comments/reblogs saying this one is really mean to izaya which you know i live for. [cracks knuckles] i hope he gets hit by a truck but like an emotional one because that's the only one he'd really react to

oh god he's more pathetic than i thought he'd be

they're really looking at him like "damn bitch you good" which is fair

bro summoned up all his courage to ask 😭rip bozo

??????????? THEY TOLD YOU HE'D BE WITH THEM

izaya simultaneously has the best social skills known to man and the WORST social skills known to man

ill never stop bringing this up but. now presenting orihara "i love humans because they're so unpredictable" izaya getting fucked by humans' predictability everybody

and here we see izaya walking awkwardly in his natural habitat, trying to eat cake with high schoolers /j

kadota casually calling out izaya on his bullshit bkgjdSGKHDSHds

he just wants to eat cakeeeee someone go with him

not me though i wouldnt be caught dead with that man

i swear walker's face gets longer every time i see him and it tickles me so much

aaaand cue shizuo on stage right

god bless erika for suggesting that he invite shizuo cuz id have done it myself

also "just today". are you implying that you want to see shizuo every other day. izaya.

WAIT

WAIT IS TODAY IZAYA'S BIRTHDAY

oh my god thats actually sad okay

id say to ask namie but namie probably rejected him already without even letting him finish the question bkfdgjhgf

shinra keeping up the stupid anniversaries trend from that other chapter we love a consistent malewife

man shiki he wasnt even here for work 😭 at least he got some food although karasumi does not look that good if im being honest

at least compared to cake

shinraaaa you FORGOTTTT

may 4th is the date of my statistics exam but i swear ill celebrate it for you izaya. ill even mark it down on my calendar

oh 💀 namie is as delusional as i am. love that for her

he's even singing to himself ohhhhh poor baby...(i say this as if i'm not grinning wildly to myself in my room rn)

i swear i feel bad for him but he's so fun to bully

man i remember those fics where shizuo was the only one to remember izaya's birthday bgkjhfdgfd i guess those were founded from somewhere (even if his gifts were things like 'not chasing him today' or sending him black roses)

oh my god 😭 he's so desperate at this point i didnt think he'd actually be happy to see shizu-chan

even grabbing him by the arms bkgdssdkahdskjhgsdsd

this is gonna end badly though if the comments/reblogs i read have anything to say about it

😭yep the izaya bullying is real

SHIZUO NOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS BASICALLY THE WHOLE CAKE

izaya's conscious too 💀 MAN

part of me feels like this is narita's personal revenge against the shizaya fans in his fanbase askdbgskjhsdhgsd shizuo needs to be extra cruel to prove he's not gay

he's so happy to just get birthday textssssss this is so sad

#shizaya #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #shinra kishitani #celty sturulson #oh wait i just remembered that tagging all these names clogs up the tags. FUCK #i should. stop doing that bskdgjgshjgsdhg #have to learn my lesson from doing the incorrect lov account #durarara

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lilycutesmith · 7 months

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Top 25 Formative Games/Series For Lily Cutesmith, Dipshit Game DevTM here's a long ass post about these and my thoughts if that's something you're interested in

anyways I made a long ass thread about my choices here so I'm formatting it better here under a readmore (games are done in no particular order really)

7th Dragon Code VFD is a fun game that's probably the weakest in the series but it is the only one that came out over here and while the others have fan-translations i havent gotten too far in any of them. They're good games imo! VFD just sorta came out and was there when I needed it. It's not good once you play the other games and find out the developmental history of VFD is "the company making it went under and SEGA basically finished it for them and its a fucking miracle it even came out this side of the pond." The 2020 games (there's two) for the PSP have Hatsune Miku in them and you can unlock the Miku version of the OSTs by saving her in a side mission in those games and they have some REALLY cool environmental art direction/design so I think they're worth checking out. The series was started/directed by the director of the first EO game and you can very easily see the shared DNA in the series, despite the different design direction it took. VFD is VERY easy to break once you reach a certain point in the game so its by far the easiest, and in all of the games the random encounters are only really threatening for the first few levels, but the real meat of the combat is in the Dragon and Boss encounters. The party size is a more standard 4-members in 1, with a row system too and it plays largely like what one may consider a standard rpg combat system with the React Turns being kinda there. 2020 takes the React Turns and turns it into a genuine part of the game's action economy once you get access to the buffs that grant them upon fulfilling the conditions. This is vital due to the game's 3 Member party size! Its cool. I like it a lot and would love to explore the design space of that further, because i think its a much more interesting system then SMT's Press Turn System. It's something that's really got my brain juicing.

It was a bloody battle between Link to the Past and Link's Awakening but I think the randomizer specifically pushes LTTP to the finish line for me. I really like both and other zelda games though so tough choice. I like a lot of zelda games to be fair and am a known Zelda 2 enjoyer (ill beat it one day…) but like, Link's Awakening sticks to me because a) played it a lot as a kid, and b) man it's story is pretty good and I read someone's take on it as being a farewell to the like, more simple stories of a hero vs the dark lord that most adventure stories had at the time as they shifted to being much more in-depth and grown-up in a sense? And I think that's neat. However, Link to the Past won over it for me here because like, man, I did 100% the GBA version including the four swords content/bonus dungeon, and also like, I spend a lot of time with the randomizer and I've really come to appreciate the like, toolset and layout of the game. It's cool as hell. I don't really have strong opinions on the 3D games frankly. I like the setting of the series though, its a p huge influence on me, and I would be loathe to not include a representive on this list.

I'd probably put Pokemon Scarlet here instead but i didnt see it in the fucking thing and apparently Pokemon Ruby wasn't there either (was not into the remake) so Red version it is (i played yellow but lol) realistically this just represents the entire series for me tho. So you might go "lily why the fuck Scarlet?" and like, man, its probably the most fun I've had in a mainline game and the story was a lot of fun to go through. I havent played the DLC and tbh I'm probably not going to but I like what I've heard of it. The ost also fucks but that's pretty much the standard for pokemon, there's always bangers in there. ANYWAYS, the point here is that pokemon is hugely influential on me and that's why it's on the list baby!!!!!!! I have a million thoughts on the design of pokemon games but that's something for an Ask and another time.

Kirby Super Star is also here bc I played it a SHITTON as a kid and the cart we had was faulty so we often had to do the entire game in one go typically but the nature of the game made that mostly fine and it was fun so like!! Like, I would probably rank Planet Robobot or Forgotten Lands or even Star Allies higher then KSS, but I think in terms of like, once again, influencing my Entire Identity And Existence, KSS takes the cake!! I don't think I have much more to add to this point tbh, I just really like Kirby games!

Fairune Collection is here partially bc I did really like it and it kinda made me think about what a game IS. Also i really like the games by the dev and the worlds they've built so it goes here. This point also includes Kamiko and Transiruby by the same dev as well. I really like how their pixel art looks and the overall visual direction of their works. Also cute girls. That's vital here. I think if you like, puzzle adventure games, the Fairune Collection is a good pick up. They're funny lil games.

you dont play Fall Guys to win, you play it to be the Biggest Clown in the show, and sometimes that gets you the win. I play with a friend only though so the clowning IS twofold. But also like, honestly, the game controls in a very specific way that sucks but Purposefully So? It feels good to play. It's a very interesting game design-wise in that way, and the level creator really lets you explore that and that's cool. The like, """kaizo""" level potential is honestly really high and we've seen some cool stuff in that regard too. Obviously I am obligated to say that it is a F2P game with microtransactions for funny outfits and animations, so obviously if that's bad for you then don't play it. I DID drop money on it for the miku outfit and concert emote myself bc like, miku. We also discovered that you can grab-cancel emotes and if they make a sound at the start you can beep very aggressively and its VERY funny. It fucking rules to beep around someone and then they figure out how to do it and join us and like, the game really stands out when you do the classic "jump and emote at someone to communicate in an mmorpg" activity.

"Why no souls games?" I enjoy souls games but they weren't ever particularly like, influences to me? Code Vein however is where I got my current sona/vtuber design idea from and its a fucking unhinged 6-7/10 game ever it rules. Like where do I even start with this game really? It's a mid to bad story with pretty fun combat and systems and a very funny character creator and its impossible to take seriously with most of the level design being Whatever with the exception of the Cathedrel of Sacred Blood which is a huge fucking part of the game that actually tests your observational skills outside of the enemy encounters, and the game is fucking FUN as hell! incredible game changed me as a person, made me feel like I was starting to really understand video games as a medium when i finished it.

Shadowbringers is specifically the expansion and not like the entire FFXIV game; its an incredibly strong story about fighting for a future you may not even see and that's extremely resonate to me. makes me want to make an rpg. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda soured on FFXIV after Endwalker for a variety of reasons (shoutouts to the raid series though, Scream is a banger song), so I dont really play it anymore. Shadowbringers is still in my heart though, and like, man, its hard to describe. Ardbert is fantastic, the conclusion with Elidibus is incredible, going through whats left of the First really drives home the despair of the situation while showing the resilience of the people still remaining, emet squelch is there. And like, really, I think the story as a whole just very much resonates with me especially with gestures at the world as a whole going on so like, idk maybe I'm saying the wrong words then what I mean too. I'm into it. Shoutouts to Eden 8's pre-final phase with Gaia being Gay As Hell. That part in conjunction with the song live rent-free in my head, esp as inspiration for one of my pairs of OCs.

Zero 2 is here bc its a fucking good game that greatly influenced my tastes in gameplay and aesthetic. why arent people making MMZ-style games where are you people. Anyways I don't know how much I could add or explain this because really the "MMZ-Style Games" bit doesnt make sense unless you're familiar with how the games feel to play lmao. There's a niche for incredibly tight movement + combat in a 2d Platformer with levels that you can play for Rank to test yourself and i am just not seeing them tbh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iji is the first game to make me cry as a teen. one of the strongest standouts from the early western indie game scene by far. I dont think I particularly cared for the gameplay thinking on it, but I also think that's like fine because its a very unique game and it plays well enough for exactly the kind of game it needs to be. The fact this is one of the first games to go "hey, you don't actually need to kill anyone, and in fact, you probably really don't want to anymore once you get the fuller picture of what's going on because god DAMN the situation is bad" is really important to me and like, man, maaaaaaan, the game's good. Shoutouts to Asha, worst funniest cockiest dipshit ever 10/10.

An Untitled Story is just a solid game from celeste dev who is responsible for the game maker platformer engine I eventually adapted into my own form. I think the game itself is like fine and I really like that one of the MAIN upgrades you get for progression is straight up hatching from an egg. Ultimately, the game is on here because it greatly affected my game dev trajectory. "Why not Celeste tho?" i havent played it and really just havent felt like playing it, its not the time yet.

I picked Double Dealing Character as the touhou representative because while Ten Desires is the first touhou game I truly got into and beat repeatedly, DDC is like, the one that REALLY got me into the series and made friends during. I think if you're looking to try playing any of the mainline touhou shmups this is a good starting point; there aren't any like, game specific mechanics you need to worry about and there's some really fun/funny spellcards that'll trip you up, the challenge is just in the right spot I think. Touhou as a SERIES is a huge inspiration for me (I literally made several fangames at this point) so it resides in a special place in my heart.

tetris attack is a game that i wish i could play against other people like i straight up plan on implementing online into touhou panel date pon for this explicit reason i crave violence that only swapping panels can sate. i really dont need to add more to this, but I also enjoy Dr Mario and Tetris. I don't think I'm MASTERFUL at them but I fall into a weird spot of "Not Pro but Super Not Casual" for them so its hard to play Versus in these games (not that there's easy ways to play falling block match 3 versus games that aren't Tetris or Puyo but i mean…)

the probably big ???? here for most people who are familiar with it is Mystic Quest and a) dude that game's soundtrack FUCKS b) I played it a lot as a kid whenever my family stayed at my aunt's house and it was so much fun. S/o to Shining in the Darkness for the same reason (and is probably why i latched onto EO in the first place tbh). Listen, FFMQ is the most baby shit rpg ever but it is a vital piece of my soul as a game designer/developer/person. You have to respect it, if nothing else for the OST.

La-Mulana, Baba is You, and Ittle Dew get the same entry on here as they are more or less on here for the same reasons. They're all puzzle games on wildly different axis and really made me think about what challenge means for a video game. La-Mulana (this includes 2 for the record) because the game asks you "ok dipshit, how good are you at taking and using notes and remembering what verbs you have? Also here's some slapstick jokes for your enrichment lol". Its great. You have to respect the game because it WILL throw a banana peel in front of you and you WILL slip if you aren't paying attention. Baba Is You is just a phenomal take on sokoban. Rules are fake actually as it turns out. Ittle Dew I struggle to remember any actual puzzles from (granted its been a Hot Minute since I played it) but I DISTINCTLY remember that both 1 and 2 do the funny joke of "hey if you know how to do weird shit with your tools you can get into Places You Shouldn't Be In" and that owns. It's similar to Baba Is You in that regard but it feels like a very different angle, imo. These games helped me sort of like, come to terms with and grasp the idea of games challenging you from different angles? Its not ALL about execution, after all!

shoutouts to crocomire jumpscare, got me good when i was like, 8-9. Super Metroid really sticks in my mind as a result of playing it a lot as a kid, but especially because of that part. I picked Super Metroid specifically bc its the game I probably played the most of when I was younger, though realistically that title might actually belong to Zero Mission bc I did nearly everything in that game except for the Low% Runs bc jesus christ those are hard as hell. Anyways I really like Metroid Primes 1 and 2 (didnt particularly care for 3? wii-mote aiming doesnt do it for me either) and most of the games and like, I've talked about how the gamefeel of the 2D ones is very unique and I dislike the term metroidvania bc there's usually way more emphesis on the -vania part then anything like Metroid lmao. But yeah, samus cool and gay. Would love to see people make metroid-style games with a slower n more methodical gameplay style tbh. I should also make that at some point.

Etrian Odyssey V is my pick for EO because imo its probably the most solid one in terms of the team figuring out how to design the games and just has REALLY fun class and encounter design. I get why ppl might shy from it bc its different aesthetic from the others but its good. Each class has a Base Set of Skills that sort of gives you an idea of how they'll play but then you unlock the Master Sets and you have to pick one for each class (each class gets two) and that allows you to really focus your characters and the teambuilding aspect really pops off at this point. The FOE puzzles and dungeon layouts are fun and the random encounters will explode you for fucking up, its great. Just a really strong and focused entry to the series, and I feel like the one that really delivers on the EO experience. I don't really wanna talk about the other games otherwise we'd be here all night but I do want to make a note that if you're looking to play the first 3 games, the HD Remasters are probably your best bet as the QoL shit (+ slight balance changes to how some skills work/they behave properly now; Beast notably still works the same but is better now due to the Provoke changes; "but Loyalty still sucks?" welllllllll there's quirks to how you can use that to your advantage actually; remember these are team building games!) really helps make them easier to play and get through. Anyways big fan of EOV, its decidedly my favorite after getting thru most of my second replay (i need to get back to it lol). Recommend if you're itching for an RPG with teeth that's not overwhelming you with a bajillion numbers and has a lot of depth to how you can build your team.

Order of Ecclesia is here bc gender. also bc its my second castlevania game (i started with Dawn of Sorrow) and i managed to 100% somehow. idk its a fun game and i think it might've been one of the first games where I REALLY started to understand the concept of game mechanics, because idiot baby me finally realized that "oh enemies have RESISTANCES and WEAKNESSES and my weapons can HIT those weaknesses for MASSIVE DAMAGE" after trying to genuinely master the game for the hitless medal rewards (unhinged btw, but i mean you also got the Death Ring bc well if you're using that you HAVE to do hitless lol). Anyways I dont care much for Castlevania as a series tbh, but OoE (and by extension DoS) were formative games for me so they go on here. Shanoa is also Gender so like, lol lmao

I dont actually have much to say for Knytt Stories. I cant remember as much as I would like but I feel fondness recalling it and I think it definitely influenced how I think about games. This goes for Knytt too, the first one. I think if nothing else, these games were probably the first games I played where the primary focus was simply area atmosphere and VibesTM and they were cute and fun to play.

dragon's dogma is on here bc i think its one of the first games where I actually thought about my character's gender and tried out the name Robin for a bit there. also its a fun fucking game and I liked how wild it gets past a point. Really just, primarily hoping that 2 has a much larger enemy variety pool. Clambering around on shit and stabbing it was hella fun. But yeah this is really just on here for the gender reasons lmao.

Wonder Girl 3 The Dragon's Trap (the remaster/make/whatever) is the game to bring up whenever "does animation affect game feel" as a topic comes up because its THE shining example of it doing that imo. its also just a good fucking game I think about a lot. good ost to boot. Like, I think about the game itself and its like just a really solid fun action platformer with exploratory elements and minor ""rpg"" elements? but it really vibes with me aesthetically. It's an inspiration for me, because frankly I love making these sorta games? I wish there were more like it.

ok last game. Potato Flowers in Full Bloom is such a good fucking game. its cute. its good. I would kill for Chief, love her. she just wants to feed the world dude. 10/10. its kind of like a puzzle rpg in a sense? I really like it. DRPGs are a niche genre, and I think PFiFB is a very unique take on it, and like, I really recommend it if you're juicing for something that's a bit different. Last I checked you can cheese a lot of it by building an evasion character turbo hard but like I think that's fine, there's plenty of variety in terms of how you can build characters and its fun. It's cute. It made me rethink how I approach game design? I think? Idk. It's just a game i really enjoyed and I think you should try out if you like RPGs.

I forgot to talk about the X Series since the thing didnt have X1 on there for some reason so the Collection is there (for the PS2). The series quality is all over the place but damn if it aint a formative series for me, in much of the same vein as the Zero series.

In conclusion you need to have played at least 75% of this list if you want to stand even a chance of dating/fighting me.

EDIT: actually I have a couple of notes I want to talk further about to.

a. "Why no Mario games? Sonic games?" So While I Do Enjoy Mario Games, none of them are what I would call necessarily formative for me? They're all more like, games I take inspiration from rather then affecting my brain on the level the other games did. As for Sonic, I just have not play the games LOL.

b. "Undertale?" Man, I like Undertale a lot, its just not on the list for a similar reason to the above.

c. I did try to stick to one game per series/developer but that sorta fell apart as I racked my brain for games lmao. shit's hard when you have a lot of thoughts and poorly processed words.

#lily talks way too much #lily does game dev #technically i think #i have a lot of thoughts and poor word usage lets fucking go

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ariapmdeol · 11 months

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Ah, Oops, that's on me! It's painfully obvious, in hindsight, but the "playable character" part threw me off. My bad! That makes a whole lot more sense. Ough.

Record 5 has sent me through the five stages of grief in the span of that simple hour and I just have to wonder why this game is a hidden gem?? When it's this ridiculously good and expansive and thought out???? At least for English-speaking fans, unsure of the proper Japanese community. It's probably because of it not being officially translated, which is always a shame.

CoE gives you mental illnesses you thought you couldn't have <3 and I am determined to drag as many friends down with me as I humanly possibly can. If they'll allow me. I don't think I'm going to be successful, but I will certainly try!!

I will contact you tomorrow!! Ish!!! Thank you once again!

O u g h those songs are good and they fit. At this point I could make entirely separate playlists for characters and dynamics. It's filling up my brain at alarming speeds and I'm having so much fun doing it.

The best type of brainrot is the one that haunts you every step of the way from the moment you started the descent. CoE is no exception <3

I have also had some time to try and process and!! There's a detail I noticed??? And surely this have been noticed by most others but I feel like talking about it in case I made wrong connections or there's more about it others noticed.

It's the vague feeling that Atou mimics Hajime's "keep eyes closed unless making a specific expression" habit? I haven't gone back and checked on how often it happens, but it struck me and it's not quite leaving because it feels like it could make sense as to why for obvious reasons. I don't think anyone else but them actually keep their eyes closed like that as their neutral expression like those two do.

And on the subject of Hajime's expressions: his "are you fucking kidding me?" confused/irritated look every time Seodore does anything in Record 5 is absolutely golden.

- 8:11 anon

YOURE FINE DW!!

COE is such a hidden gem fr!! I Think it's in part that the youtube TL is so new (they only started uploading about 2 years ago) and the fact that there's no playable eng TL definitely does not help... I have been doing my part in the COE propagandizing o7 (have gotten several people to play it)

there is a substantial Korean community (there is a playable KR version) and i've seen a lot of Chinese fans as well! I've seen some Japanese fans too, and our little english corner is very close knit! . It's very interconnected, which is nice. Everyone talks to each other <3

COE has given me so much mental illness <3 it spreads very much through word of mouth, so YES PROPAGANDIZE!! I'll be around tomorrow so no worries :D

They talk about it a bit in the QNA, but yeah Atou started closing his eyes like that at some point, and he says there wasn't a particular reason for it (though hajime does wonder if it's because of something else). you should read the full qna! it's so cute, i cant believe i forgot to link it earlier.

Hajime's expressions are SO GOOD!!! He and Seodore are fascinating honestly congrats to seodore for winning worst dad in the polls... he really earned it SDAKLJADSLKJADS

#aria rambles #aria answers #coe spoilers #coe dlc spoilers #gavi no clicky #8:11 anon

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kdipshit · 1 year

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Learning still ;

Do we manually turn on focused mode when talking about focused vs. diffuse mode? And is that why I’m always ‘bored’ coz Im always in diffuse mode? Focus is a difficult thing to learn, and yes I think I have to learn everything from the beginning, I need to know the laws I need to keep balance, the laws of life…. How my brain works, how I think, how I feel my emotions, how I process thoughts, all of that, needs to be learnt, and I can’t learn properly without first being in focus mode, the gathering mode, recieval mode, information is just pouring in, its not until we get to use our diffuse move where we turn around and place the info into the subcategories of your brain, organising and making sense of the information. One just doesn’t seem possible without the other. So I have to learn how to use these mods in order to actually learn anything.

My brain feels like its a lot of the info I’m storing is hoarded, or in the wrong places. So I’m at a point where I’m tying to reorganise my brain, gather info from myself, and renovate my head space. Its the least I could do hehe.

I can’t waste my days trying to find the meaning in everything, I can see the bigger picture and get a change to clean my lense while I’m at it, the meaning is productivity. If youre doing, there is always meaning. Ugh idk serial killers might read that and think I’m on their side I’m just rambling and probably talking to only a specific few….

Dont regret a single choice, even if your regret it, like if you decided to have a cone even tho you’re running low and you didn’t really need it, don’t regret those small choices, learn to accept your choice as they come naturally, you can learn to change them once you get to know them, you might even find our exactly why you make some decisions that may not be there best, but you do them anyways. I make choices every single day that I’m not exactly proud of, but they’re MY choices, an extension on ME, so ill fan love the shit out of them until they start acting right, I know they’re wrong, some bigger than others, some effects others, but they’re mind and I own them. i can tell you why I would do some of the bad things, give you all the reasons in the world, convince you, but it will still be burning in the bottom of my stomach.

What I’m trying to say is, I am okay with exactly who I am right now. My goals are reachable, I can see the person I want to become, and I can see how to get there, right now I am working on my actions, starting with my reactions. I can say all the fun things I want, but to live by my own word. That is the mani right there, its the changing who I am, and accepting the best version of myself. It may be hard and I may feel like I don’t even want it, but its a trick and I better keep going.

I am so happy to get some of this shit off my mind, its like I’m unravelling a chord filled with life from my brain, and just translating everything and putting it on paper, so I can read it. Writing every day has been such an escape, I love writing. I could do this shit all day, lol, well I could do this shit all day when I’m in this this mood I guess lol, I could actually write in almost any mood, even my I don’t wanna write moods, I can write in any mood.

The bad definitely outweighs the good, by bad feelings about writing : ‘I don’t want to write’… my good feelings about writing : it literally gives me life, its allowing my should to be expressed, I feel open and connected to my body, I feel like I’m learning so much, I just love the feeling of writing taking me away.

I always find comfort in the 1 bad thought, and then it consumes me. Sometimes all I can think about is not wanting to write. I guess I don’t want to be proactive lol, I’m learning a lot now, though. So its been easier to come to the keyboard. Easier to be proactive, easier to not feel guilt after zoning out, for I’m just in diffuse mode, no need to yank it back into focus mode, there is no rush. I feel peace here.

Writing helps me to construct my sentences, I kind of get muddled up trying to make sentence out loud. Helps my thought process slow down so I can see wtf I’m actually thinking about. I didn’t know I had a problem with living In my head, when I looked around and noticed I barely even look after myself, everything is an effort, and I had no hobbies, but so much fkn shit around me. Its time to clean this hoarding mess I’ve kept in my head, and live with the world. You think you the only one who doesn’t get to do the mani? Nah girl… up you get.

I think I learn by learning what is it not. Like how I just learn how to focus properly because I learnt what it actually is, focused mode is tunnel vision, I know what focused is because I know what its opposite is, diffuse. I know and understand the opposite because I know and understand focus. Do I make sense? Well I make sense to me, in a way that actually freaks me out, I’m like my own teacher, philosophy ? Girl idk.

I feel like I just need to slow it down, the thinking, just slow it down. Stop thinking about thinking. BE. Seperate your body from your thoughts , they’re not even there.

I can’t wait to fall in love again, with the right person. I love so vibrantly and beautifully and I can’t wait to be able to express that again. Until then, I will practice by loving myself in that same vibrant way. I want to give myself everything that I can, all my time, my attention, my love, my gifting, my home, my safe place. If I could dig deeper in my subconscious.. where would I go?

#blogging #new blog #mental health #actually bipolar #actually borderline #mental instability #actually bpd #original post #original writing #original words #sewersidal

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everythingblreview · 2 years

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As a big fan of BL games, I always been very supportive of companies who license and release them in English. I will wait and buy a game, I didn’t play in Japanese yet if it is announced in English and will buy the English version of a bl game I already played in Japanese.

Consider all this I will not support and encourage anyone to support Jast blue anymore and the shit they are doing.

Let’s break this done.

Jast is licensing nitro+chiral game, especially popular in the west and known for their darker content, (which is good even though most of them already had a fan patch) but honestly they are doing a horrible job with it.

Even ignoring that their game often tend to have errors and bugs, but them cutting up and trying to sell their games to minors is a big no no.

I’ve been in their server and they seem completely fine with having 14 years old children on a server for 18+ bl games (and yes I’m sure some played dmmd when they were 14) but were are talking about adults here trying to sell their games to children and not even caring. Also cutting bl games that are not mean to been cut in the first place, is dumb. They removed so much stuff from sweet pool the game didn’t even make sense to people who played it cut. Sure maybe dmmd works a little better but you won’t go far with their other games. Slow damage will be even worse because it’s so much darker and if you cut it you will just remove the whole plot, and all the poor people who will play it cut without even knowing, ruining the game for themselves. Do you need money that badly jast?

Secondly, I would like to talk about a big problem I have with their games: the translation. It’s bad.

They add unnecessary swearing, things like “bro” “dude” making them sounds like so edgy American teenager, I don’t know who is translating this but don’t add stuff that is not there in the first place, don’t try to make everything more “edgy” and don’t try to make Japanese people talk like some Americans, yes this is translated by americans with amrican audience in mind probably but please be more respectful toward the original. Sweet pool already made Makoto sounds stupid but dmmd was just a joke. the game is already seen as a meme but jast made it only worse, to a point you could not read it anymore.

And the last thing that made me especially mad the last few days: How Jast is handling slow damage. One pic of the game showed ones again unnecessary swearing and it was not even translated correctly (sure it can only be this one time but consider they disappointed me enough already, I doubt that)

What makes me really made is how they present the game: as some edgy game meme, what are you doing Jast trying to make a dmmd out of this, or what? Sure, people who didn’t play don’t know it but this game is so far away from being in any way funny or “edgy”. I really want to know if the person who tweets this shit even played the game. Giving the most stupid answers to question people ask. They are not your characters jast answer with that what n+c wrote in the game. Them making a joke character out of Towa, makes so MAD saying stuff like “he would read killing stalking” or “make you worse” WTF jast. Are you fucking stupid to portray a fucking mentally ill character with heavy trauma who is one step away from committing suicide as some fucking joke?? this is not dmmd, THE GAME IS NOT FUNNY, TAKE THIS FUCKING SERIOUS JAST.

Are they so desperate to sell this game that you need edgy 14 year old kids for your costumers? How about selling them for a higher price and taking things serious for ones jast?

I can only imagine a lot of people going into the game expecting some Aoba kind of joke character only to be hit with one of the most traumatic and darkest themes in a game I ever played.

Consider this I won’t ever judge people who still buy their games because some people only have this option.

But this makes me really said, fans deserve a good translation and a game that is treated seriously but all we get is...jast and their cringy joke.

No wonder n+c doesn’t want to work with them if their sell their games for such a low price, and I hope they never can translate lamento because they don’t deserve the game (go play the fanpatch version it’s great) if you want to support n+c directly go buy their games in Japanese, use the fan-translation or machine translation to play it if you can. At this point I don’t think Jast will ever change, and I will not support them in any way.

On a better note, Tokyo Onmyouji will be finally released on the 25th February. Please support the game it looks great and Moonchime Localization did work really hard on it to release it on time unlike some others who make empty promises, took the game and the character seriously and didn’t try to make a joke out of it.

#Nitro+chiral #n+c #boys love #jast blue #jast is trash #bl game #blvn #Dmmd

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zephycluster · 3 years

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Precolonial HWS SEA Rant Post, feel free to ignore

If you're still reading, then you're probably looking for evidence or some juicy tidbits to throw back at me or to try and find dirt to cancel me, like typical Tumblr/Twitter. Go ahead, I don't really care.

First off, let me just say that If you like Precolonial South-East Asia AUs, feel free to keep enjoying them. I will respectfully support your passions from afar. This post is just to explain why I don't like it, especially the way they keep insisting/portraying PH in it.

Still here? Then let me begin.

Since the recent confirmation that the ASEAN Six Majors (Can't really say ASEAN 10 atm since it's still missing some people) Were completed and the Ma-Phil-Indo Trio was included, there has been a large surge in 'Precolonial' fanarts and portrayals of South East Asians, those three especially.

Even long, long before, circa 2010's ish, a rather well-known fan universe known as 'Maaf' dealt with their story and how their Author thought their intertwined histories went. Written by (my best guesstimate) an Indonesian writer who wants to explore the old, SEA bond.

When I first stumbled across Maaf (I was in Highschool at the time, around age 16-ish), I took a casual interest in it and tried to read it through. But, I will wholeheartedly admit that at the time, Pre-Colonial cultures of South-East Asia in general, let alone Philippine, did not really interest me that much. The focus (I think) was mostly on Indonesia, a country I didn't really know back then, and the liberal use of 'ancient' names and artwork just made it feel like an entirely Original Work (that needed a degree in History to really appreciate) and not something from Hetalia. I also completely disagreed with what I could gather was the story's portrayal of PH but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Do I hate 'Maaf'? No, I don't hate it. Do I wish I never came across it or that it didn't exist? Of course not. Just because I didn't enjoy it or appreciate it that well doesn't mean I wish any ill toward it, its fans, or its creator.

Fast forward to April 2021, the long awaited inclusion of South East Asia to the canon Hetalia verse. I was happy, the other fans were happy, all was good.

Then started the questionable fanarts, fan theories and fan pairings.

Especially the expansion of Precolonial! PH.

Let's go back to Maaf for one moment. From what I understood of Maaf, PH there was a character who once was like all the other South East Asian cultures, trading with them, all around being a nice family.

But all that changed when the Spaniards attacked, so cry the precolonial buffs. They destroyed everything, ransacked and marginalized the tribes, erased everything that PH was!

Did that happen? ABSOLUTELY. The Spaniards had this vision in mind that they must spread Christianity to all of the 'savage, unchristian heathens' of their realm. :V /s

But back up a second, back to PH's portrayal in Maaf. The way she (yeah, she) was portrayed there was that she was slowly losing her memories of being a 'true' South East Asian and grew more and more westernized in the process, like some sort of Culture-specific Alzheimer's or something.

Firstly, that is seriously depressing, and secondly, I just really don't see that happening.

Here's why.

Point 1: Even before Colonial Masters, Filipinos as a people cannot agree on anything.

I'll just begin this segment with a Philippine proverb that outlines what Filipinos call 'Crab Mentality' or 'Crab Bucket Mentality'.

"You don't need a lid for a container when you're keeping multiple crabs. If you keep at least two crabs together, they will just pull each other down instead of helping each other up."

I don't know how it goes with Indonesian or Malaysian history class, but what I know of my homeland, both pre- and post-colonial history, we were never really 'united' or 'together' in the sense that Indonesia and Malaysia were (from what I assume).

Let me pull up a somewhat related question on r/AskHistorians.

The reason I brought this up as it shows the reasons why, in my opinion, a single entity that is 'Precolonial Philippines-tan' is an impossibility.

The answers are long and would extend this already long post to stupid proportions, so I'll just quote relevant sentences. The link is here for those that wanna deep-dive into the answer.

"All this to say that there wasn't a name used for the entire Philippine islands before the Philippines that people now would agree to. An interesting comparison would be the Holy Roman Empire, which might also be characterized as disparate politico-geographic groups of relatively small size that had a history of relations between each other, but one thing they had that the Philippines did not was a common language, or at least a family of mostly mutually intelligible languages, so that the name Deutschland or Germany isn't terribly offensive to anyone. If you called the Philippines the 'Lupang-Tagalog' or even 'Lupang-Tao' the other ethnic groups would protest."

For those in need of translation, 'Lupang Tagalog' means 'Land of the Tagalogs' and 'Lupang Tao' means 'Land of People', specifically. The first one is already exclusive and offensive, as the Tagalog peoples are but one of many ethnicities here.

And for the 'Lupang Tagalog' suggestion specifically, it's even more offensive as they are the majority ethnicity (not by much, just around 28%) From this chart from Geography Now! It would basically be alienating everyone else in the 72% remainder that isn't 'Tagalog'.

And even 'Lupang Tao', the most generic name in a local language you can think of, would be met with contempt because the name itself is in the Tagalog language.

Just travelling between two individual island groups today would sometimes require a translator because the words can change very rapidly and very drastically. Here's a sample of some differences coming from a friend living in Visayas (in Red) vs. the words I know living in Luzon (In blue).

Ate vs. Manang = Older Sister

Ibon vs. Pispis = Bird

Tumawa vs. Kadlaw = To laugh

Takot vs. Hadlok = Fear

Kain vs. Kaon = To eat

Ngayon vs. Subong = Now, at this point in time

Iyak vs. Hibi/Gibi = to cry

Talampakan vs. Tiil = Foot (in Tagalog, the word retains its 'body part AND unit of measurement' meaning)

Tulog vs. Tuyo = to sleep (Tuyo in Tagalog is either a dried salted fish or 'to dry')

The kicker is that just like Tagalog is just one of many languages here, so too is the language my friend speaks. Ask an entirely new person, like someone from Mindanao, they'll probably have an entirely new set of words.

It's not just Luzon vs. Visayas vs. Mindanao, either. Here's a map listing some of the ethnic groups here.

Even the way they're written differs from location to location.

While we're on the subject of Island divisions, a casual skim across Twitter and Tumblr has shown that their Precolonial PH has been one of the following ancient civilizations: Tondo, Butuan, Sugbu, Namayan. There may have been others but that was what I have found.

Notice how even today, the posters of Precolonial PH can't seem to agree on what he's supposed to be? With Indonesia it's either Majapahit or Srivijaya and Malaysia it's usually Malacca iirc.

What is the big deal? Well, let's go back to the Ask Historians post. "Why didn't the Philippines ever change its name to remove the colonial mark that being named after a Spanish King has?" The answer: "If you suggested something dating to precolonial times, the other ethnic groups would protest."

Since we're on a roll with maps, let me bring this up.

As you can see, the precolonial PH posts have a reason to not be able to agree on one thing, as there is a LOT of options. Do you also see how THAT list is also split up?

It's split up into those aligned with China (Sinified), aligned with India (Indianized), aligned with the Middle East (Islamicized), and no alignment (Animist). Now, let's go back to the main suggestions for which Kingdom/Polity/Civilization/whatever Modern Philippines used to be.

If the Filipino peoples' couldn't agree on something as simple as WHAT TO CALL THE LAND THEY'RE LIVING ON, what more a living, breathing, walking, talking entity that is supposed to be a beacon of all of their 'unified' culture? ESPECIALLY if that entity used to be a currently existing Kingdom/Polity/Rajahnate/Sultanate/whatever.

Tondo? "Of course, always the damn Tagalogs. Tagalog this, Tagalog that. First the capital city, then the language,* THE REST OF US EXIST, YOU KNOW! What about us in Visayas? Mindanao?"

*The national language known as 'Filipino' is just standardized Tagalog*

Butuan? "Wait, you want Butuan to represent us? They're they only Indian-aligned city in the Islam-majority Mindanao! They're not even that many of them! I'm not gonna change my religion!"

Sugbu, the other name for the Rajahnate of Cebu on the map? Lemme bring back my Visayan friend again. According to her, she hails from the Hiligaynon part of Visayas.

"Sure :v and the other islands are what?

Chopped liver?

Not to mention the language and writing barrier helloooo"

And Namayan? Well. I'll let this pic speak for itself.

To summarize, no matter who you pick as Modern PH's previous identity, it will not end well nor be accepted by the other Kingdoms at the time.

"So where does that leave Modern PH, he had to have been ONE of them, right?"

Well, not really. He doesn't HAVE to be one of the Ancient Kingdoms that lasted till the modern day. I mean, predecessor representatives exist in Hetalia canon, after all. Like Modern Greece is a different character from Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt and Modern Egypt, heck even England and his brothers have a canon mother that was the rep before them.

Or you could even use the same logic that Germany does, in that each specific region has/had its own representative and that Modern!PH is just the 'mediator' between them (cause gawd does PH need one). There could be a Tondo, a Namayan, a Butuan, and a Sugbu, all arguing and this Proto-PH is just trying to make headway in making them all satisfied.

But, even after all this, there is another reason why I personally don't subscribe to the 'Precolonial PH' idea, and by tangential extension, the Indo x Phil pairing.

Point 2: Even without intending to, Precolonial Indo x Phil just comes off as patronizing

This second point is just ENTIRELY personal preference and barely has any facts to back it up.

Again, if you like the pairing and disagree with me, You do you. I will respectfully support you and your passions from a distance.

But for me, Indo being Phil's seme/bae/boyfriend and consistently bringing up precolonial times just comes off as patronizing.

Just one more time, I'd like to point out that I am NOT bashing Indonesia, its people or the subscribers of Indo x Phil. This is just how the pairing feels to ME specifically.

The way I see it, Indo x Phil as a pairing, especially if it extends back into precolonial times, reads the same way as a long-since married couple where the husband/wife CONSTANTLY brings up that ONE outing you had together, or that ONE prom night where you kissed while dancing, even it happened like 30 some-odd years ago and so much more happened since then.

Even in a platonic sense, It reads like two besties where one ALWAYS mentions stuff like 'Yeah but you looked so much cooler back in High School' or 'Back in Grade School you would've known that', or 'Remember back in Pre-school we did X? How could you forget that?'

How does one respond to the notion that no matter what you do now, it will never compare to a past you've already forgotten or barely remember? That the best version of 'you' is already long gone?

"That's because the westerners made you forget your culture! You gotta take it back!"

While it is true, yes, as a collective we barely remember the Kingdom that commissioned the Laguna Copperplate, or created the Banaue Rice Terraces, or created the millennia old bonds that we still share with Indonesia and Malaysia.

But to keep pushing the precolonial identity would be to neglect and cast aside the one REAL binding belief and culture that spans the entirety of these islands we call the Philippines.

We take on all the bad stuff that happens to us, conquer it, and make it our own. Be it natural disasters, foreign powers, or negative stereotypical mentalities.

Yes, we've forgotten the ancient kingdoms of old and are just now digging through the closet for those remnants of the past. Yes, the colonizers imposed that on us, and made us forget. But in the process we've also taken everything that they left behind, everything that they threw at us, and created something that can only come from us.

The lanterns that the Spaniards used to light the way to the morning masses they made us attend became our globally known symbol of Christmas. The junked vehicles that the Americans left behind in World War 2 are now rolling works of art that announce themselves loud and proud on the streets (for better or for worse). The iced dessert recipe that the Japanese forced us to learn while they were occupying the country is now so distinct and famous it is synonymous with us, and is so delicious even Italy has taken notice.

Even after all this? Even after all the 425-ish years total we have been under a foreign power, with all the progress we've made as a country, a people, and a nation, you would still imply our fragmented, jigsaw puzzle state of being in the past was better just because it was pure 'South East Asian' like everyone else?

We might not be as well put-together as Indonesia or Malaysia, but we made this melting pot of angry, leg-pulling, dogpiling, Native, Mestizo, Chinoy, and Fil-Am crabs OURS, damnit!

It's now 4:30 AM and I have work in 5 or so hours. I'll be going to sleep now.

#hws #hws philippines #precolonial philippines #hws theory #hetalia #hetalia world stars #hetalia world series #hetalia headcanons #aph #axis powers hetalia #aph philippines #hetalia philippines #aph hetalia

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cyokie · 3 years

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Jack Vessalius as a Symbol for Depression

Ever since I first read PandoraHearts, I have interpreted Jack Vessalius as at least a partial symbolic representation of depression, especially in his relationship with Oz.

(Skip to “keep reading” to go straight to the analysis; this beginning portion is little more than a disclaimer.)

Jack is a complex, fascinating character, and it is precisely due to this that I believe any number of interpretations regarding him contain merit. Whether you view Jack as an abuser, a manifestation of mental illness, or an extraordinarily-written character that does not require a figurative understanding to be interesting, I think this is valid.

I am saying this first and foremost because I want to be clear: this is not a persuasive essay. I am not trying to change anybody’s minds about liking or disliking Jack Vessalius, nor am I trying to devalue any other interpretations of this extremely nuanced character. Some points may be a bit vague and connections disjointed, though I attempted to minimize this. Any discussion of mental illness and abuse is based on either my personal experiences or those of people I know. I do not intend to offend anybody.

This post is simply the product of years of disorganized yet in-depth thoughts about this concept. I hope some of you will be interested.

Major spoilers for the entire manga below the cut. Manga panels are from the Fallen Syndicate fan translation. This...is going to get very long.

Emotional Abuse

Jack exists within Oz’s mind. When these two interact, it almost always occurs within Oz’s head, providing every conversation with an inherently emotional and symbolic element.

Jack initially appears to Oz as an unknown but crucial figure. Whether he is trustworthy or even harmful remains to be seen, but his input is necessary. He is the only insight Oz has into his lost memories; he knows something Oz does not. Oz is suffering an identity crisis, realizing he has endured something he does not completely understand, something that could potentially change his entire life once he does understand it. And yet, this mysterious voice within his head understands it.

This desperation makes it almost irrelevant whether Jack is credible, whether his advice is well-intentioned. Normally a rather cynical and distrusting young man, Oz follows Jack from the beginning despite wanting answers. He does indeed receive answers, but they are perhaps not quite what he bargained for, in more ways than one.

Once Jack’s true nature is revealed, the extent to which he has used Oz’s memories and emotions against him becomes apparent. Jack does present Oz with new insights into his experiences, but he only ever provides Oz with enough information to convince him to act a certain way. He never willingly gives a fair, all-encompassing portrayal of an event from Oz’s past. He manipulates Oz’s perceptions of his memories to fit a particular emotional narrative, one that is inevitably perplexing and demeaning to Oz.

This bears a resemblance to the way depression warps how we view past events. When we look back at our experiences, we don’t see the entire picture--though we are convinced that we may. We see a skewed version of an incident that actually occurred. Perhaps this incident proves little to nothing about ourselves in reality, but viewed through the lens of depression, everything about it seems to scream that we are useless. And it is nearly impossible to try and perceive these events any differently, because when depression overtakes our minds, this perspective appears to be the only one through which it is possible to examine any of our pasts.

By the time Jack’s intentions have been exposed, he is also explicitly emotionally abusive towards Oz. It is easy to recognize Jack’s statements as not only psychologically damaging, but disturbingly similar to what we hear in our own heads when suffering depression. Think about these assertions without the very literal plot elements that support them: Jack declares Oz less than human, insists that nobody loves him, and claims that he has no future because the only thing he’s good for is hurting those around him. He convinces Oz that he is useless, hopeless, and worthless.

Jack drills these ideas into Oz’s head when he is at his most vulnerable. This is when Oz breaks down and becomes convinced that all of Jack’s statements are true. He is not who he thought he was; he never has been, and so his life is meaningless.

This is arguably when Oz reaches his all-time emotional low. While it was already addressed that he had been struggling intensely with his mental health and was probably suicidal, up to this point, he always retained some level of self-preservation (however slight). Now, he silently accepts that the world would be better off without him and offers no physical or emotional resistance to his own execution. Jack’s words worm their way into his heart and corrupt his self-image to the point where his only reaction to Oswald’s sword swinging towards him is a blank, unflinching stare.

Trauma Response

It’s not uncommon for Jack to manifest during catastrophic moments--that is, whenever a situation triggers (or comes close to triggering) overwhelming memories of Oz’s trauma. When Oz is losing control over his emotional and physical faculties, Jack often encourages him to make the trigger disappear using the quickest and easiest method available. Unsurprisingly, this method generally takes advantage of Oz’s extraordinary powers. In other words, the “tactic” Jack advises Oz to use is simply mindless destruction.

In the second half of the manga, Oz is at his least emotionally stable. It is not a coincidence that this is also the point during which Jack gains the ability to completely hijack Oz’s body. This development allows Jack to commit impulsive acts of aggression through Oz, while Oz himself retains little to no control.

Jack overwhelms Oz with unnecessary flashbacks to traumatic events and makes an excess of harmful connections between past and present circumstances. Oz’s panicked, distressed responses to this are tools he uses to further coax Oz into acting in a self-destructive manner. These tendencies may not only connect Jack to the concept of depression, but the concept of post-traumatic stress disorder as well.

Identity Crisis

Although Jack is introduced extremely early in the manga, one of the story’s main mysteries is the exact nature of his connection to Oz. This relationship shifts several times, especially with regards to who is “in control” and who is the true “owner” of the physical body.

Once it becomes public knowledge that Jack is “within” Oz, the identity of the former overcomes the identity of the latter in the eyes of the general populace. Figures who never before gave Oz a second glance begin to pay incredibly close attention to him; many directly address him through his connection to Jack rather than as a separate entity.

Oz is deeply troubled by the way others ignore him in favor of an aspect of his identity that he feels does not truly represent him--an aspect of his identity that is at least partially out of his control. However, he is also relatively resigned to being judged in this manner. He lacks knowledge of how to change this circumstance because even he does not truly understand the extent to which he and Jack are connected.

It is true that at this point in the story, Jack is practically worshipped. His destructive actions and devastatingly selfish nature have not yet been exposed. Because of this, Oz as Jack’s “vessel” is typically viewed through a positive lens. Still, this situation reflects how people with depression are sometimes reduced to nothing more than a mental illness by their peers. Because others do not understand (and mental illness is stigmatized), they start to see us as “different” in some indefinable but undeniable way, and our existence becomes that particular part of ourselves in their eyes.

As time passes, the line between Jack and Oz becomes more and more blurred. Questions are raised about whether they are the same person or, on the contrary, whether they are similar at all. At what is arguably the climax of the manga, Jack declares that Oz’s body is, was, and will always be his possession; he claims that in reality, there is no “Oz,” only “Jack.”

This thought haunts Oz intensely and sends him into a rapid downward spiral. Like the sentiments expressed near the end of the “emotional abuse” section of this analysis, the idea that Oz’s body belongs to Jack is backed up by rigid, literal plot elements. However, if we view this emotional catastrophe using a symbolic perspective, it is a representation of yet another common struggle endured by those with depression.

We come to ask ourselves who we really are. Was there truly a time when we weren’t “like this?” Could we truly escape this misery in the future? Who would we be if we were to stop feeling this way? Do we even exist without depression? Does Oz even exist without Jack?

Visual Symbolism

It is a classic literary device to represent hope through light and despair through darkness. The manga is rife with this exact type of symbolism, utilizing it to describe how the Abyss has changed throughout time, Break’s dwindling eyesight, and the oscillating emotional states of various characters.

As I stated previously, Jack and Oz interact almost exclusively within the latter’s mind. The landscape drawn in the background of these conversations initially possesses a watery, clear appearance. However, as it becomes increasingly clear that Jack’s presence is deeply damaging to Oz’s psyche, this same landscape becomes overwhelmingly tainted by dark, ink-like shadows.

Closer examination reveals that this “pollution” originates directly from Jack--and it reaches its peak once Jack’s intentions have been fully disclosed. Not only is Oz’s mind visibly corrupted by darkness, but Jack himself appears as an almost inhuman figure composed of these shadows.

There is another level of visual symbolism as well--namely, the fact that Jack becomes increasingly physically aggressive and disrespectful towards Oz. In the first half of the manga, he primarily speaks to Oz from a distance, occasionally reaching out a hand in his direction. This is clearly not so in the second half of the manga, at which point Oz begins to defy his influence and it becomes vital that he subjugate him as quickly as possible.

By this time, Jack is almost always seen either restraining or caressing Oz. Even in the latter situation, when his touches are lingering and vaguely affectionate, they are possessive and constraining. In other words, though they appear different on the surface, both actions are ultimately methods of forcing Oz’s submission. It can be said that this represents his desire to gain complete control over all aspects of Oz’s being, as well as his total lack of respect for Oz’s physical and emotional autonomy.

It can be argued that both of these aspects of symbolism reach their pinnacle even before this point. Oz realizes his own worth when Oscar says he loves him and reveals that his greatest desire is for him to be happy. When Oz is at last able to grasp that he is loved and there is hope within his life, Jack immediately reaches out to grab him. And in one of the manga’s subtlest but most poignant moments, his hand crumbles to dust upon touching Oz.

What follows is an extremely impactful display of Oz’s character development. He recalls Jack’s previous statements declaring his achievements worthless, denouncing the love he received from others as fake, and degrading his worth. Then he furiously rejects all of them, thrusting out a hand to push Jack away from him and consuming Jack in an explosion of light.

The conclusion to be drawn from this is that Jack essentially lives off Oz’s misery. When Oz understands and is able to accept that he is not worthless, Jack is suddenly rendered utterly powerless.

The manga culminates in a scene that coincides with this symbolism. This late into the story, Oz has succeeded in transcending Jack’s influence almost entirely, but Jack is not quite ready to let go. Though they stand together within a void, glimmers of light linger around Oz--despite everything, his life has come to be surrounded by hope and love.

As Oz floats towards the path of light above, Jack reaches out and takes hold of his wrist. But his grip is feeble and hesitant, representing how little control he truly holds over Oz at this point. Perhaps attempting to provoke guilt or regret, Jack asks Oz if he is certain that he is prepared to move on without him, but Oz has grown too much to succumb to this manipulation.

Without delay, Oz replies that there is no reason for him to stay, and Jack finally releases him. He escapes into the light--into a world full of people who care about him, into a life where he is happy to be alive.

#PandoraHearts #Pandora Hearts #Jack Vessalius #character analysis #Oz Vessalius #analysis #Cyokie's thoughts

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marmaligne · 3 years

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Hello! May I get a Kimetsu no Yaiba Matchup 👉👈 My name is Millie and I think im an xnfj and a virgo yahyah! I have no preference for gender :O. A few facts about me is that I have severe idiopathic hypersomnia, which is a sleep disorder (similar to narcolepsy) where I am always sleepy and have sleep attacks unless I take the corresponding medication 😴. I'm also an entomologist, I keep caterpillars, snails, and soon frogs and i want to start beekeeping soon. Im pretty shyer with pda and when i first meet people since i have social anxiety, but i am more chill in solitary areas or if ive known someone for long! I love music and am a classical musician that plays violin!!!! Lastly, i am really appreciative of culture and traditional clothing and can speak Spanish, Japanese, and Norweigen (Im even looking at getting a Bunad!) Thank you so much for your time! (if a matchup spot is available great! if one's not no worries! ty anyways!)

✨ Sorry for the long wait, but thank you for the ask, also eyyy fellow bug lover, I used to keep green rose chafer beetles and snails myself ✨

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I Match You With: 🦋 SHINOBU KOCHŌ 🦋

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* Shinobu [胡蝶しのぶ] is a very “relaxed” person, and though she may seem apathetic and sarcastic at times [even though she might not mean to be] she cares a great deal for you! She has no interest in your personality type or otherwise, as long as your actual personality is kind and welcoming!

* She is an Aquarius whereas you are a Virgo! According to astrology, you are the least likely people to be seen together! AQ’s and VI’s don’t often get along with each other, or rather they aren’t supposed to since your signs are quite opposite of each other. Air vs. Earth; two sides of the same coin. Relations between the two aren’t really explored, but since it’s Shinobu, she’ll probably work things out anyways!

* Be warned: she tries her hardest to take after her sister! She likes to act and be dignified and graceful and compassionate even if she wants to scream and cry sometimes. She appreciates that your passion for your little bug pals also extends to her, and any effort you put into making her day just a little bit better does wonders.

* She takes interest in your entomology studies! As a master of poisons as she is, especially those that derive from insects, she has a vast knowledge and like of many venomous and non-venomous species! Her knowledge even extends to other branches of zoology, that deal with arachnids, myriapods, and crustaceans! She’d be happy to share her wisdom with you!

* Heck, her haori and kyahan are both tailored to a butterfly design and pattern, passed on through her family and by her sister. You can obviously tell what her favourite animal is, don’t ever tease her about it though!

* Understands that you can sometimes become tired unexpectedly, and fall asleep at random intervals. Don’t worry! She’ll always make sure you take the correct medications and dosages, she’ll even go on experimenting in hopes of finding a medication with more prolonged effects!

* Always makes sure to carry a pillow around wherever she goes with you. She keeps a supply of meds and other supplies in a woven bamboo basket similar to Tanjiro’s, though nobody normal dares to ask what’s inside, fearing it be a demon or a human body, maybe a weapons storage.

* Intimidation +1000. Guy tries to hit on you? Dead. Girl tries to hit on you? Dead. Any other person tries to hit on you? Also dead. Not actually, but they’ll wish they were. Shinobu’s cold stare and silent demeanour is far more terrifying than even Sanemi’s anger, and has made a grown man cry far more than once.

* She understands if you dislike public affection. To be honest, with her apart of the Demon Slaying Corps, she’s not sure she’d be up to even holding hands with you in public either. Don’t get her wrong, it’s not because she doesn’t love you, and definitely not because she doesn’t want to! She’s just so internally terrified of any demon or ill-meaning human thinking you a perfect target to make her break down.

* She has her fair share of enemies, demon or otherwise, she is highly unwilling to let you out onto the battlefield, or anywhere really, but understands that you require personal space and privacy, and knows that you being with her means that you also understand the potential consequences that being together can bring.

* She’ll still hold your hand in the privacy of her’s or your own homes though, don’t think she won’t.

* She’s also a big fan of culture and language, especially the more traditional aspects of it! Growing up as she had in 1900’s Japan had it’s perks after all! She’s lived through an era of development, and she’s seen the more western takes on things, even if she doesn’t participate in the cultural curve itself.

* She’s respectful and highly admiring of other cultures besides her own, and has heard stories through the grapevine of myths and legends and histories all over the world. She thinks it’s magnificent you can speak so many languages! And her own? My my, what an intelligent one you are! You have far more knowledge than even some of the smartest people she knows! And she’s surrounded by plenty!

* Come sit with her in her library, read and translate the texts of other areas with her, share in the wonders of the world, right in the comfort of home!

* Highly interested in your ability to play music, especially since it’s more towards the classical elements! She herself plays the traditional Japanese Hocchiku [法竹] or vertical bamboo flute once in a rainy day! She’ll play with you when she has the time, she promises!

* She’ll sometimes play or even sing for you whenever you get anxious. She’ll make sure to sooth any and all social or general anxieties you have, regardless of whether or not you think they’re insignificant or silly! Don’t worry, she’s got your back! [Literally though she’s right behind you-]

* If you ever tell her openly about your love of traditional clothing and accessories. 👀 She’s gotchu. Your closet is now full of everything from hakama to kimonos, depending on your preferences! Don’t hesitate to try anything on, she bought it for you after all. She expects you to put on a fashion show for her however, she can understand if her appreciation makes you a bit embarrassed!

* All in all, 15/10, very good partner, loves very much. And if at some point you just want to be friends? She doesn’t mind staying besties as long as you can still hang out!

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✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨

#matchup #kny #kny x reader #kny matchup #kimetsu no yaiba shinobu #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #shinobu kochō #shinobu x reader

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maariarogers · 3 years

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Thoughts on True Beauty and Why I’m On Team Suho

Ever since the tv show started, I’ve begin thinking and noticing for a while now that, more than anything, I’m more #TeamSuho than I am #TeamSeojun.

And the thought of “why do I think like that?” kept repeating in my head, because, if I’m honest, the casualness that Seojun and Jugyeong shared early in the series (I’m talking webtoon and, truth be told, a bit of the tv series) really struck me as them having a much easier and playful, therefore fun, relationship. Which makes for an interesting dynamic than what Jugyeong had with Suho.

So, here are my thoughts why I think I prefer Suho with Jugyeong towards the end.

To warn, this is, firstly, have nothing against any of the characters or the ships! I’m merely sharing an in-depth analysis of my thoughts on my own view why I prefer Suho with Jugyeong. Secondly, I’ll be referencing a lot of the webtoon rather than the tv series (although I feel like I’d like to spill my thoughts on that soon, so I don’t know if that long analysis of “why I surprisingly find myself enjoy the adaptation more than I thought I would” is coming soon, buuuut yeah, we’ll see) so, please be aware of spoilers.

As reference, I’m currently at Chapter 124 of the English-translated version of True Beauty as I’m writing this, but I am aware of spoilers ahead of the chapters.

Another Warning: This is so long. Oh my god. How did I manage to write it this long? So. There’s that.

Okay. So. What brought this on?

Honestly, it was just the excitement from knowing that True Beauty was airing soon and I was just so interested to see the dynamics the actors were going to play out rather than just seeing the characters across the a page screen in comic strips as I’ve been following them since I stumbled into the webtoon about, yikes, a year ago?

But – more than anything, I just really wanted to see how Suho played out.

1. So, What’s The Deal With Suho?

If I’m honest, I’ve always thought that Suho is laughably (yikes) boring. Not necessarily in a bad way, no! I actually think it’s one of the things that’s made him quite appealing — in ways that, in other settings, I would have actually found him uninteresting and easily passable as a main lead. But not in this particular world.

To add: the Author also referenced this many, many times throughout the webtoon. Quite brilliantly, in fact — specifically, from Sua’s point of view, as she points out quite a few times that, besides from Suho’s looks, “he’s really got nothing going on for him” or that “he’s boring”. (I frickin’ love Sua in both the webtoon and tv show!)

This was also a really important plot device during the Prince of Princes (Did I get this name right? Omg) competition TV show when the influencer (again, I really can’t be bothered with what’s-his-name) actually called Suho out for basically “not trying his best” when everybody else was clearly giving his all. This triggered Suho to actually act outside of his comfort zone and actually wanted to pose for a sexy photoshoot.

I do also honestly think he’s clinically depressed on top of just having had naturally adapted a much calmer composure to compare with an easily expressive Jugyeong and a very charismatic Seojun. But the thing is, the author really made Suho “boring” on purpose — and the best thing is? It works.

Because as much as Suho is “expressionless” — as in, he doesn’t really emote whatever his feelings as honest or as obvious as the other two leads — he can still carry his character well. Like Jugyeong has learned over time, we start to figure out that, oh, Suho has to put his act together because his father’s famous and he doesn’t want to tarnish that reputation. He’s ruthless to admirers because he’s logical about rejecting unwanted advances. He’s surprisingly rigid and slightly cold, but only because he’s used to only have himself as company.

In all honesty, I’m still trying to wrap my head around Suho. I still don’t quite understand why I’m so fascinated by his personality when, if those sort of “dark brooding” tropes were played in other medias, I would have rolled my eyes and rejected it instantly for how much it’s overplayed.

But I didn’t. Not with Suho.

Perhaps, an angst-lover at heart, his unrequited relationship with Jugyeong really struck with me. His patience when he’s obviously hurting as Jugyeong dismissed their almost-romance, or when Seojun and her were being lovey-dovey in front of him was really incredible. Suho rarely lost his composure, which was quite a feat considering as readers we know he still has lingering feelings towards Jugyeong, and I felt like that spoke volume about his character.

(Besides that, Suho was always so incredibly respectful — not only towards Jugyeong but also towards Seojun. Seojun obviously learned it much later on, but Suho never once carried any ill-intention when he learned Seojun and Jugyeong were together. In fact, again and again, he congratulated and cheered them on, even when we knew later that he feels awful for the lost chances. Still, Suho never acted violently or aggressively. Not once. It was only Seojun who had easily misunderstood him and thus, reacted badly.)

(Although again, that’s so brilliant on the author — because Seojun’s quick-temper is such a staple and big part of what made Seojun Seojun. I’m happy that he acted that way, because that meant his characteristics are consistent from when we first saw him in the webtoon. Of course, that doesn’t mean the temper in and of itself is always good, but — it’s realistic for him.)

2. So, Why Jugyeong and Suho?

Now, this is the part where it gets tricky.

A lot of the fans — some of which are my own friends, and people I knew — abandoned the webtoon because the drama has gotten “tacky” or Jugyeong’s growth has been “stunted” for a few chapters. I can’t say I totally disagree, because I do see there’s quite a lag in the plot, buuuuuuut.... I do feel like the author adds that in on purpose.

Of course! I might be wrong! But hear me out.

I think it’s on purpose because it wants to show the development of Seojun and Jugyeong’s relationship – and why it didn’t work. (Again, anything can happen; I’m only at Ch124, so things might still change for Team Seojun!) Of course, for all those who are aware of the spoilers, the answer was simple: they didn’t work because the agency asked Jugyeong to stop dating Seojun due to his rising status as an idol.

It’s more than that, though.

I’ve also been reading a few comments and some of them pointed out how they thought that Jugyeong has always seemed more relaxed and more playful when she’s with Suho than she is when she’s with Seojun. But... I do have to slightly disagree. Only slightly. Because, if we review the arc during their high school when Jugyeong liked Suho, she was obviously more comfortable and were able to tease and be more playful with Seojun — but she was a little guarded with Suho, which was understandable. She didn’t want to look bad in front of her crush.

I’ve always felt a little threatened at this point because, man, Seojun and Jugyeong’s chemistry was so, so good during this arc. I love Seojun, I really do. He is such a nice and considerate man in ways that I really didn’t think he could be when we saw him as a teenager — but the author really pulled him off well. And he’s so sweet, too? So loyal? Ugh.

The downside is, though — he doesn’t push Jugyeong.

More than that, their relationship (perhaps because they were each other’s first true, committed relationship) really caused each other massive anxiety. Jugyeong wasn’t really honest all the time due to this — not her feelings and not her concerns, and Seojun became an unnecessarily worry-wart even when he shouldn’t be. This had, several times, led him to become inconsiderably possessive i.e. during the time he fought with Suho when Suho had only wanted to help.

Of course, they sort the issue out in the end and Seojun started to reform himself to be an even better partner. But... you can tell, in a lowkey sort of way, that the good-feeling they had when they were just friends, it isn’t really there anymore. They don’t really have fun together. (Although maybe that’s just because Seojun became busy and/or the author skip most of their dates along, so — I might be biased a bit regarding this!)

But with Suho, even as friends, Suho has always pushed Jugyeong — more than just about her bare face, he pushed her to pursue what she wants to do. Not only that, he encouraged it; he helped her.

Which is why I think the plot became slightly stagnant in the moment: because, like Jugyeong, we’re focusing too much on her relationship with Seojun and what would it mean when Seojun became an idol. We’re carried along with her anxiety, with their upside down, with Jugyeong’s worries. We’re stuck in Jugyeong’s first relationship — and that’s it.

But with Suho, the plot moves: Suho pushes Jugyeong to study, Suho talks to her about her ambitions, Suho makes her confronts her fears, and one of the best parts of the series so far — when Suho was consulting her after Selena scolded Jugyeong for messing up on set — Suho recognised what she wants to do, what she likes to do, and he encourages her for it. He comforts her, and tells her to not give up. So now, we see her wanting to try her best in wanting to help Selena.

With Suho, I feel as if... Jugyeong’s focus grows more than just her being upset about one single relationship. Suho’s calamity and logic straightforwardness probably helps — it doesn’t cause as much anxiety as Suho’s relatively honest, which Jugyeong can depend on and seems to explicitly trust — and Jugyeong’s story, once again, grows to be more than just another love story.

It’s become a story of her trying to find a place in the world again, of her trying to figure out what exactly she can do for herself despite all these obstacles and hurdles.

I’m not saying with Seojun, she doesn’t go through any character development at all, no — but her focus tends to single-handedly narrow towards Seojun directly and their relationship, and it leaves very little for Jugyeong to really consider anything else, specially her own growth, which is equally important.

With Suho, she’s just able to do that a bit better, and we can see she’s slightly more comfortable too.

(And, before anybody comes at me, yes, I do think Jugyeong pushes Suho too. She literally recommends Suho books that he doesn’t seem he was going to read anytime soon, or he could’ve overlooked it easily — but she does that. She pushes him out of his comfort zone and suggested a new author / series. And Suho reads it, and he learns that he likes it. It’s the same when she recommends the music app. Or the hairdo. She’s always been a giant force pushing Suho forward; Suho’s always trying to change and/or improve himself when Jugyeong comes in.)

3. Conclusion

This is sooo long so I thank you if you’ve made it this far! I’m just really, really happy with the TV series and these thoughts about why I adore Suho have been nagging at me.

I hope everyone likes the full analysis of my messy thoughts as much as I enjoyed writing it fully on a whim at 1am.

#True Beauty #Lee Suho #Team Suho #teamsuho #suho x jugyeong #meta #true beauty meta

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phantomnostalgist · 3 years

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Ethan Freeman Phantom interview

An interview with Ethan Freeman from about 1994 or 1995, printed in “Beneath the Mask” #8 (which I haven’t found my print copy of yet, but the interview was reproduced on our old POTO fan site).

Also of note about Ethan: at the time he was one of the two youngest actors to have played the Phantom - he and Anthony Warlow were both 28 or 29 when first cast in the role.

Are there any differences between London and Vienna - if so, what are they? The general tone of the production in Vienna was slightly more Operetta-like, probably due to the language, the sound of the translation and style of acting of some of the players. The tempo was also at some points quite different depending on who was conducting, and would undoubtedly feel strange to me now. The audience tended to be less tuned in to the humorous moments in the show in general, and some scenes like "Managers I & II" for example, simply run better and are more clever in English.

How did you get the role? I got the role of the Phantom after auditioning for Hal Prince and Gillian Lynne and the Viennese producer and musical staff. They appeared very excited about the audition. I'd sung "Music of the Night" which they praised in a friendly manner (Hal is always positive and encouraging), and they sent me off to learn the segment from the Final Lair "Order your fine horses... This is the choice. This is the point of no return!" When I came back the next day to do it (the Phantom candidates appeared by then to have been reduced to three) Hal said "OK Ethan I want you to scare me!" So I did the section with as much power and venom as I could muster (Id never seen the show - I think Id heard the record once or twice...) and after it was done, Hal just said "Great. You scared me!" and that was that really. Later that day they explained to Alexander Goebel and me what they would like and would we be willing to share, obviously with Alex, who was very well known, being the dominant of the two. So we split 5/2 which frequently ended up being 4/3 as the run went along.

How did you research the character? I read the novel finally, all the way through. Ruth Hale, my partner in "Cats" at the time, later to premiere as Mme Giry in the Hamburg production, gave me a copy as a present. I'd seen several of the films over the years so I knew there wasn't much to be mined from those - although Lon Chaney Snr did display some magnificent body language, and I've nicked at least one dramatic gesture from him. Principally though, I had several long meetings with Hal in New York to talk about the role and show. He instructed me to go watch Michael a few times then come back and talk some more. Crawford was magnificent, at the peak of his vocal power and still fairly fresh in the role and I was moved and impressed as I have not been since by a Phantom. (Though Dave Willetts, I must say, also made a huge impression the first time I saw him, for his power and well-delineated psychotic behaviour.) At first I thought boy, you've got your work cut out for you on all fronts. So, I would say my "research" of the role was principally based on my own discussions with Hal and also largely on my own thoughts and feelings. Obviously most of the physical manifestations of the role, make-up, costume, blocking, etc were predetermined so there wasn't much scope for change. To be honest, I feel some of the Phantoms I've seen tend, in an effort to be different, to stray from the basic line of the drama and weaken themselves as a result. Michael's acting was extreme, yet very clear and economical at the same time, and I also try to offer the audience a complicated and ambiguous character going through clear, unambiguous moments of his life - otherwise it's so easy for the audience not to "get" everything that's there - or to "get" things that aren't intended to be there at all.

How do you feel on stage? So varied in thought and feeling that I can't really give a concise answer. I feel quite differently now to how I felt 600 odd shows ago. I used to have to concentrate on staying concentrated - now it just happens. I know what to achieve and just try to let it happen. I'd say I'm both in and out of Erik at the same time and he in me.

Do you think it's based on a true story ie. did the Phantom exist? I doubt it - I haven't read this newer novel "Phantom" yet and don't intend to until I finish playing the part. However I've been to the Palais Garnier and in all senses of the word it is a 'phantastic' theatre, one which easily conjures up many stirring images - beautifully represented in the Phantom designs, I'd say!

What do you think of Erik? I wish he'd let me have a little more time to myself! Oh, I don't know. He's a sad, bitter, brilliant man. He has a great brain and can be a real bastard. I find him easy to understand - he's motivated by a terrible profound loneliness and has been forced to create his own universe which has its own laws. Anyone who has known some kind of loneliness or feeling of apartness when they were children or growing up can tune in to this crucial aspect of the Man, which is his great mythical attraction. He is so powerful, awesome, in control and yet so hurt and vulnerable. He must epitomise great beauty and great ugliness at war with each other, reason and insanity, God/Satan, Id/Ego battling it out. In the end, he learns about sacrifice, shows mercy and is redeemed by love - a great, archetypal Romantic drama - another reason why the story has always been so popular. I can't stand it when I see Erik played as a "nutter". Yes, he goes "crazy" a few times, but in general he is not insane in the pathological sense. I feel if he is played as a schizophrenic or a psychopath, the romantic ideal of the story is dashed, because both of those conditions would indicate a "determination" that makes any hope of redemption impossible, and would break with the "Romantic" style. He is very melancholy, angry, egocentric, neurotic perhaps, and goes off into rages of frustrated sexuality, but he is not insane. And I'll kill anyone who thinks otherwise!

What do you think happens to him at the end? That's our little secret! I think the different fan magazines have probably spent pages on that so I don't see I need to contribute. He goes!

Why do you think the show is so appealing? Some lovely songs, great orchestrations, a nice mixture of melodrama and light comedy, some stunning sets and a lot of good theatrical magic: and on the thematic side, many of the things I've mentioned before, which I suppose you could define as the archetypal Beauty and the Beast scenario which, if honestly portrayed, can tug the heartstrings of even the most urbane Japanese businessman.

What is your favourite role of those you've played? Obviously Phantom is the supreme role in my repertoire to date. I did however, really enjoy my stints in other Lloyd Webber shows as well. Che in "Evita" was very cool to play and Gus/Growltiger, while exceedingly 'uncool' thanks to the heavy knitted costumes, was a joy to play, despite being totally knackering, and one that I was surely born to do. I really enjoyed doing Hajj, the Poet in "Kismet" with the BBC Radio 2 last year, working with the composers, and would love to have the chance to do that again on stage someday.

What role would you like to play? I'd quite hope to have a go at Sweeney Todd somewhere down the line and would still like to play the Celebrant in "Bernstein's Mass" at some point. (I've nearly done that a couple of times.) Add to that a heap of great operatic roles I'd love to do but probably never will and whatever new, unknown roles lie lurking up ahead. We'll wait and see!

End note from me - Ethan’s wrong about schizophrenia, but hey, this interview was 25 years ago and actors can’t be expected to be experts on mental illness. But I really love this interview, the depth he goes into, and how his sense of humour comes through too.

#the phantom of the opera #phantom of the opera #ethan freeman #classic phantoms #poto #poto legends #phantom legends

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featherfur · 3 years

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Okay re watching the untamed starting from episode one, i basically have a sticky note up for me to note as I watch, but im also doing this at work so a few things may be missed. I'll have less opinions as we go on but the first few eps has so many things for me to look at so ill put it under read more

Untamed Episode 1

The beginning scenes are already making me sad! Also the bit (using Viki Translations) about "If I was Jiang Cheng I would have killed him years ago" how many times do you think he heard that? How many times did someone whisper around him asking why he didn't?

Also I just realized in all the grabbing for the amulet with Yao and Ouyang, we don't see any Jiang?? but fuck thats a lot of Lan (I could just be misremembering the colors of their clothes and I will check when we actually get to that sequence in the series)

Also straight up just the power of the first time we see Wei Wuxian's face, he's already got tears building and then when we see it again he's actively crying, just sets in motion the truth of how much he's hurting and how much this is NOT what he wanted to happen.

I always see Lan Wangji BOLTS to save Wei Wuxian and catches him and yet no one is like "Hey what was he planning on doing with him??"

Oh Fuck what if Wei Wuxian slipped or pulled away and everyone spent the next 16 years loudly proclaiming that Lan Wangji killed Wei Wuxian. What if Jiang Cheng Believed that???

ITS NOT EVEN THE FIRST FIVE MIN AND I COULD CRY

the look on Wei Wuxian's face when he sees he's being held, the look on his face when he sees it's his Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian is just so tired at this point but Lan Zhan just seems to make it just a little easier to bear just for a moment

HRNG

THE SOFT "Jiang Cheng" THE WAY JIANG CHENGS FACE CONTORTS

WWX UNDERSTANDS HIS ANGER AND PAIN AND HE ACCCEPTS IT AND JC IS JUST WRACKED WITH PAIN

Jiang Cheng just fucking power walking away while Lan Wangji is debating on just falling after Wei Wuxian, poor Wangji.

I fucking love Nie Huaisang siting in the background like some villian in a superhero story, patting his fan on his hand. Was the story even necessary Nie Huaisang? No, no it wasn't but I appreciate the drama it adds, thank you for your gift to the arts

Also the dude mentioning that Jiang Cheng went back multiple times to look for Wei Wuxian makes me remember both that post about Jiang Cheng finding Wei Wuxian's dead body and secretly burying it while keeping Chenqing and the one about how Jiang Cheng lost Wei Wuxian over the years so many times and thought he was dead repeatedly and that this time he probably thought Wei Wuxian was still alive because he had been all those other times, thats one habit he wouldn't break, right?

I love that Jingyi is so freaked out by the creepy moment, my child you're supposed to spend your life hunting ghosts things will be a little spooky. Like Sizhui is nervous but Jingyi is two seconds from bolting if anyone screams near him.

why does viki call them immortal masters and immortal sects? Very strange, but better than youtube?

I suppose worse comes to worse I can turn on Netflix ones, but some of those subs suck

I am absolutely in love with the fact that Wei Wuxian saw his chance to go wild with no normal repercussions because they already think he's nuts and he just ramped it up to llike 16 and leaned into it. Like I love that for him, so much, he deserves to go batshit insane sometimes.

Sizhui is just,,, so gentle he wants to help people he's a good kid, but he's also a little brat with his little trick to keep Mo Xuanyu from being kicked 10/10 would love this child. Also I know that like, it's basically Sizhui's moment to shine to show his personality but i love that Jingyi and the others are just like watching this and chilling. It's live tv and they didn't even have to pay for it also they're like 16 so understandable but still its amusing

#Danny Rewatches CQL #<- for blacklist

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thisbluespirit · 3 years

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Fic Writer Tag Game

I was tagged to do this by @allegoriesinmediasres but it had already gone round Dreamwidth this last week, so I did it there. I’ll try and c+p it over here, too!

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 620 (but I've been writing a lot of short things since around 2006-7, and there might even still be a couple of the 1994-98 fic from the newsgroups up). 2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,476,147 (but this does include about 300,000 words of origfic for RaTs and rainbowfic that are collected into three works, so it doesn't affect the works no too much, but it does affect the wordcount.) 3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Too many to list here! A lot. *nods* 4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? People, it's still Miss Marple. Maybe one day it won't be Miss Marple, but today is not that day. (ETA: whenever i do my top AO3 fic on these memes, it’s disproportionately Miss Marple. I am bemused.) Miss Marple: The Spirit of St Mary Mead So We Meet at Last Not Miss Marple: it's the rain that will strengthen your soul (SW Prequels) Five Times the Doctor Got in the Way of Captain Janeway (and One Time They Got Along Just Fine) (DW/ST) By the Book (Origfic) (Oh, wow, By the Book keeps moving up. It must get recced sometimes, somewhere, mustn't it? 0_o ♥) 5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes. Fanfic is a lot my way of being social, which is why I don't get along with the new push-button web much. Like, kudos is fine, ok, but I just wanted to talk to people, and via fic always seems to be one of the nicest ways to do it. 6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oh, I don't know. I like being bleak sometimes when I feel like it. It might be the EatD one with the two Generals, but honestly there were a few in my mid-illness old bleak telly watching years, and the Level 7 one or the one from Children of the Damned might be even more so? Or some S&S stuff, too? I mean, I wrote S&S plane crash fic and weird drabbles. (I blame my fandoms! It's not my fault! *innocent*) Also I keep doing Clara splinter fic, so I keep killing Clara and it's always sadder than I expect when I get there. You'd think I'd learn by now, or just not kill this splinter, but, nooo, hey, how about MORE Clara splinter death, self? /o\ Oh, no, wait: it's probably Spooks! Spooks is also bleak and how about my tiny ficlet of death, Litany of the Fallen? Oh, actually, if I listen to people who aren't me, it's that B7 Avon/Servalan one, which I was always a bit: BUT I WROTE ONE WHERE THEY WON about it and everyone else was all THIS IS THE WORST in the comments. Sorry? The Quality of Mercy (Is Most Definitely Strained) (I still think the ending of Compendium is more angsty! It has double death!) (Ok, it's me. I like being bleak and angsty when I'm doing it. I'm less sure when someone else is doing it at me, of course. ;-p) 7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I honestly don't know. I'm usually kind of gen and happy and sometimes even humorous, and keep canon's tone, and DW is fairly light most of the time. I tried searching on Happy, but I have never tagged anything as happy. But probably it is an AAL! thing, because AAL! is happiness in b&w TV form basically. Maybe of Of Human Bondage (or Five Times Adam and His Friends Found Themselves All Tied Up)? But I like all the AAL! ones I wrote for Yuletide, because they were the ones where I tried to be closest to an episode, and that makes them the most fun to re-read. 8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? I have a crossover in my top 5, so yes. I'm a DW fan; crossovers are just far too obvious a temptation when you've got a TARDIS. What DW fic writer hasn't managed at least one once somewhere? And I might have, um, written a lot of them. (AO3 says 126). I did once, way back in newsnet times, when we were having a debate over what you could and couldn't cross DW over with (and I was on Team You Can Cross It With Anything You Cowards), write a DW/Rainbow drabble. But I don't think I put that on AO3. I think it might be on Teaspoon. In AO3 works, I think by far the silliest is the Baldrick/Steed one, which AstroGirl said I couldn't write. (It was an Unconventional Courtship summary, not that they randomly dared me to write Baldrick/Steed. I mean, some of my flist totally would have done if they'd thought of it, but not in this case.) 9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not really. I've had some weird comments, but the nearest I've come to hate was one of the comments that time I tried to write Swan Queen fic and it wasn't happy enough for people. (I wrote a happy one after, but the ifrst one was set quite early, Regina was still kind of evil!) 10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Alas, no. Although, ish, if we count my experimental elemental shipping phase, which included The Cornfield (Silver/Steel/(Sapphire)), which is the only time anyone called any of my fic sexy. I would totally have that comment made into a medal or something. 11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Other than the random scraping things that have gone round over the years, no. 12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! Several people have been kind enough to do this, usually into Russian, and usually (but not always!) Miss Marple. 13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, and no - in adwc days we all co-authored round robins, which were a blast and highly frustrating. I think it'd be fun, but barring the odd bit of drabble tennis with various flisters back in the day, it's not really something that's worked out. (I'm thinking, I could have all the ideas, they could do all the writing, I could criticise?? XD) 14) What’s your all time favorite ship? My Relationships count is very misleading here, because I think it actually is (including in terms of things written for it), Sapphire/Silver/Steel, but it's a weird thing, so sometimes I tag it platonically, and sometimes I don't necessarily tag it at all for that reason, and also I think it puts people off unnecessarily. (But it's a Lie when I don't tag it. All my Sapphire & Silver & Steel is inherently OT3 even if no one else can see it.) 15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? None. I have unposted WIPs, but I do hope to finish those, and the only posted WIP is a very old one only on Teaspoon that was begun before I was ill and I can't even really say at this point that I would want to finish it. 16) What are your writing strengths? Character/dialogue, I think? I am actually not that bad at plot, but currently I lack the stamina for long things. I like to think I can be quite funny when I'm in the mood. 17) What are your writing weaknesses? Description, action. Argh. Yes, let's just talk some more, okay? 18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I was going to say I would never, but actually I did! I wrote Y Gwyll | Hinterland fic, and it wouldn't be right not to have some Welsh in that. However, while I may be a 1/4 Welsh and know some Welsh words, I don't actually speak it, so I had to turn to Llywela who was very kind and translated the sentences I needed. (I added the English translation in the footnote.) This was the fic, but basically language is important in canon (ironically maybe even more so in the Eng-lang version I watched than the original Welsh), and so it was also important in the fic. So, probably if it was a canon where it was required, then I would do what I could to get help to get it right? The good thing about the internet is that you can usually find someone, although usefully for me, I already knew someone. 19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Doctor Who! 20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? I'm going to wimp out on this along with everyone else. Although... if any of you have a fave fic of mine, that would be very cool to hear! (But I don't expect anyone to.) Sometimes I'm pleased enough with the latest to feel it's that, but that's not always the case, and it isn't currently. (No, offence, Latest Works! I like you, it just only happens once in a while, usually when I've managed something I've wanted to do for years.)

I won’t tag anyone, because I know lots of people also did this on Dreamwidth, but it’s always VERY cool to see people’s answers to these things and memes are for stealing.

#fanfic #writing #memes #writing meme #ao3 #fannish nonsense #long post #rambling about fic #replies #allegoriesinmediasres #the c+p worked even with the links!#\o/

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dropintomanga · 4 years

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About Fans Telling Mangaka They Read Scanlations

When creators and celebrities attend fan conventions to meet with audiences that love them, it’s often a wonderful time for everyone. However, there’s still some cases where fans have to be reminded that while it’s okay to let guests how much they love them, there’s always a limit to how much a guest can take.

This past weekend, one of manga’s top mangaka, Paru Itagaki of Beastars fame, had a panel interview at the virtual anime convention Otaquest Connect. She talked about her thought process while creating the series, her inspirations, and what she liked about the 1st season of the Beastars anime. While this was a really good interview, it’s the final words that Itagaki says that stood to me. It’s all regarding an experience that many mangaka have been through when they use Twitter and overseas fans have a chance to communicate with them.

I’m talking about when overseas fans express their feedback to mangaka on social media about weekly/monthly chapters that aren’t published in Japan due to scanlations of them being released before official Japanese street dates.

Itagaki actually mentions this in the end of the interview. She said that she gets a bunch of responses on her Twitter account from overseas fans about the latest chapters of Beastars. While she’s grateful for the support, Itagaki points out that fans are accessing them through less-than-legal means and tells fans to buy official translations if they’re available.

This is probably the first time I’ve heard a mangaka actually say something a manga publisher would say. I’ve heard anime convention stories where fans mention they read certain manga titles online at scan sites in front of representatives at manga publishers’ booths. I recalled hearing a story from Toronto Comics Art Festival 2018 when Inio Asano came and someone in the autograph line for him told Asano straight-out that they read his work online.

Of course, it’s easy to say “Stupid fans and their entitlement over piracy!” I know there’s some trolls who think piracy is the true answer for exposure. But as a industry person I follow on Twitter was saying about how pirate sites like Kissanime/Kissmanga got huge in the 1st place, he believes that the majority of their users are innocent as those aggregator sites normalized fans’ desire to have a central hub for everything anime/manga related. The sites also diminish the value of anime and manga by raising user expectations to a somewhat insane degree. In a sense, many anime/manga fans that were using those sites were being manipulated. Add the fact that they’re usually young, impressionable and starving for attention and you have a formula that creates misunderstandings for everyone.

I do think most manga fans don’t know any better when it comes to talking to mangaka. Part of me does blame aggregator sites and also celebrity culture. Mangaka are celebrities in their own unique way, sure, but they are human beings like you and I. I think when we get a chance to interact with a celebrity via social media, fans would take any moment to express their love in all kinds of ways. Social media is supposed to reduce friction and encourage connection. However, it raises expectations in that the fan has to be satisfied at any cost. That expression of love can grow to stalking in the worst case scenario. Social media reinforces this expression with little regard to safety by continuously providing suggestions on famous people they might follow that’s relevant to their interests.

A lot of fans want someone they can relate to and or emulate. They’re not taught to look up to the people around them who make a much better impact than any celebrity can. I do know that close and immediate role models are hard to come by as many anime/manga fans tend to be social outcasts. I mean, those relationships take a long time to build, so why not go for the quick fix of building one with a famous person they like. I also think people want to appreciate someone badly and that can lead to awkward moments.

For Beastars, I know a lot of fans can relate to the struggles of Legoshi, Haru, Louis and the rest of the cast. A good part of the internet just filters out the true reality of official-translated manga versus scanlations, thanks to aggregator sites that don’t care about the anime/manga industries. All the platforms do is provide basic answers that don’t make you think. And if you don’t think, it makes you easier to control and not ask questions that you really need to ask.

I don’t have any easy answers on how to get fans to stop talking to mangaka on Twitter about leaked/early chapter releases. You have to challenge that mindset head-on. A good place to start is to ask them questions while telling them the truth about the manga industry’s perception of scanlations. Ask those fans what compels them to tell mangaka about their new chapters. Please don’t shame or guilt-trip when they give answers that you may not like. It just encourages fans to double-down on their behavior. Let them know that they’re capable of doing the right thing or take steps to doing so.

I also started to think about what it really means to have gratitude for someone. I’ve read stories from essential workers during the COVID-19 pandemic that don’t want to be just thanked by upper-class workers who can work from home. What they really want is actual financial support that helps them survive. Words don’t mean much when gratitude is often used by the giver as a way to feel better about themselves. In a way, a lot of people who are technically higher up in large companies use gratitude as a way to justify not giving lower-level employees increased salary raises/benefits. How many times have we heard stories about notable media sites telling writers who aren’t paid well to be grateful that they have a chance to write for a big site such as their’s?

Gratitude can be used as a way to shut someone up in cases of bad situations. It prevents change that may need to happen. Think of all the times when someone with mental health problems and mental illness is told that they should just cheer up and be grateful they’re alive when they really need their negative feelings/concerns to be validated.

I sensed this with Itagaki as she’s bluntly pointing out what a lot of mangaka are unable (or don’t have the guts) to say on Twitter or at a convention. Honestly, if someone pirates manga, they pirate. I get it. If you can only buy a few series you really love, there’s nothing wrong with doing that. I just want fans to have better manners when it comes to talking to creators about reading their works online. You don’t need to always says thanks and/or even say anything at all. All those kind of “positive comments” do is make mangaka feel less of themselves as if their work isn’t worth paying for. As someone who dislikes the idea of chasing happiness, I think we have to discuss how positive thinking can get toxic.

In a time where everyone has an opinion about something, it’s perhaps a good time to learn what mangaka and every creator does - bask in the right kind of silence that leads to powerful actions that benefits BOTH yourself and other people with respect.

Photo Source: Otaquest Interview with Paru Itagaki (February 28, 2020)

#manga #mangaka #manga industry #manga culture #celebrity culture #fandom #gratitude #dark side #scanlations

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lesbian-vmin · 3 years

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Fly to My Room - A Vmin Analysis

For the analysis, skip to the read more. To read me calling a toxic anon out on their shit, carry on.

Yeah. Wasn’t going to make this about Vmin, so to say, and wasn’t even going to center “Fly to My Room” around Vmin on this blog. But after this (x) (x) (x), I’ve changed my mind. Because there’s something I want to point out. I’m assuming all three asks came from the same person (who clearly keeps tabs on my blog for some reason because they keep coming back for more).

Yes. I ship Vmin. Platonically and romantically. And yes. This person here says they’re not a shipper. Notice how people act like shipping is toxic? Yet, here I am loving all the boys and the relationships between all of them. I never speak ill of any member, and would never. And this person comes to me and says that I’m the reason Jimin gets hate? They call themselves bias wrecked by Taehyung, yet literally called him a liar in the first ask (about his best friend) by saying “Makes me really question if tae even likes jimin irl?”

My blog is a peaceful place where we talk about Vmin while loving BTS as a whole. I make it clear all the time that, yes, while this is a Vmin blog, at the end of the day, I’m a BTS fan first and foremost. Not a Vmin shipper.

I’m not saying there aren’t toxic shippers out there. But people like this want to act like shipping in general is toxic. When it’s not. But their kind of behavior is. I never justify hate to any member for any reason. Because BTS present themselves as wonderful people, and there is absolutely no reason to hate on any of them. There are a few things that an idol can do that can get me to hate them. No matter how much I stan them. BTS has never been accused of anything like that. And even then, I probably wouldn’t justify spewing hate speech to the member. I’d just ignore them and dismiss them a lot. I wouldn’t jump to their defense when toxic fans like this come around.

There is a big difference between the fans hating on Jimin, and accusing the members of hating on Jimin when they’re not. Which is literally what this anon is doing. And, yes. I’m gonna call it out like it is. Because you wanna come to my blog and paint me like the bad guy when I’m not the one justifying hate in any way.

I was just going to leave the anon alone. I’m glad I didn’t. Because it allowed me to point out this kind of toxic behavior.

Thank you. I’m done here. Onto what really matters.

(BELOW THE CUT)

I’m going to link an article to Taehyung’s weverse interview in case any of you want to read it. I’m linking the English one (x) because if you’re reading my blog, I can assume you can speak English. I read the Korean one for this analysis (so my translations may not exactly match what the English one says 100% since I didn’t read it) because I wanted to try to understand the original context.

The first time we heard anything about FTMR, we didn’t get much. It was in their BE comeback live on Vlive. (x) We learned that they came to a compromise about which key to use in the song. Taehyung laughed about it when Jimin even brought it up in the first place. And it’s clear that it was a fun experience for them. I’ve talked about that part before. (x)

Then you have the BE-hind Story (x), where Jimin talks a little about the struggles he had recording the song. You even have Taehyung cutely teasing him, “Do you understand how we (he and JK) feel now?” (When they have to try to hit the high notes because of Jimin.) He was teasing him. There was no tension. No hard feelings. Nothing. At all. It’s clear that the story behind FTMR is a good one because there’s never any tension when it’s brought up. They are literally smiling and laughing about it every time.

And finally, we get to Taehyung’s interview. (Not sure if Jimin’s interview mentions FTMR also because I didn’t read his before writing this since the original ask was specifically about what Taehyung said.) Yes. Taehyung does say that “FTMR was my favorite, but it became the most difficult to sing. At first I think it’ll go well, but then Jimin joined in.”

Yeah. It’s possible that he meant FTMR was his favorite song on the album, but seeing as the question was asking about his experiences during recording, it’s more likely that he meant that FTMR was his favorite song to record. Because it was easy for him. Jimin joining made it a challenge.

The interviewer then asks what Jimin did that made it a challenge, and of course Taehyung explains that it’s the difference in their vocal range. Because he and Jimin had to match, it became the hardest song to sing. He proceeds to explain that the original key was perfect for him, which is why he wanted to do the song. It’s impossible to get tone from text, but just based on Taehyung’s word choice alone, it sounds like he was enthused about singing the song with Jimin when he decided he wanted to join, too. And he literally called it a happy ending.

So don’t come at me and say I’m pushing a narrative that gets Jimin hate when it’s pretty clear that there are no hard feelings about this song between the two of them. It sounds more like it was a challenge for both of them, and they had a lot of fun compromising with each other because of this song. I’m not the one putting words into their mouth and non-existing bad feelings between them. I’m not the one calling them liars about their friendship and saying they hate each other. I’m not the one imagining or creating drama between the members where there isn’t any. I’m not the one...

You get the idea.

People have come at me on my blog for things I didn’t say or because they’ve taken things that I did say the wrong way. So seeing someone do the same exact thing to a member of BTS really irked me.

#vmin #vmin analysis #fly to my room

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