#If they are best friends and partners I hope to see more partnership and friendship between them without parallels with Claire!

[espumado]

Waiting for the new season of The Bear and thinking about Sydney Adamu🥰.  When season 1 ended I thought what an incredible show full of great relationships, friendships and found familie. Syd and Tina 💞 Tina and Ebraheim, Rich and Carmy, the Berzattos brothers, Syd and Marcus... But about Syd and Carmy, I didn't get it, it didn't seem like a friendship, a partnership for sure (especially at the end) but I thought the authors wanted to leave it open, which might be interesting to see, like reconciling personal life and the restaurant (Jimmy says that Carmy's father had the restaurant and took Donna to work there and everything went wrong, so I thought if this had something to do with them🤔, and there was all camera shots and angles and soundtrack) like, a romance was the only thing the show didn't have and I thought the authors were very good at talking about relationships so it would be interesting to see were this could go, i trusted them you know?! (There was Nat and Pete but I didn't know if they were going to put more of them and I'm glad they did because they 🥰 There was Richie and Syd too, I mean they had a lot of tension😅 I see the sydrichie vision but one thing we knew about him is that he is the father of a girl and about Syd is that she was a dad's girl and I didn't want any dad issues for my girl😂).

Then I see that the authors said they wanted to write a story without romance and I'm like ok, I get it, that's it, i got it wrong, forget it. But then season 2 started and they introduce a new character for a super cliché romantic arc! I remember that before the episodes were released, a review said the new season was excellent despite some cheesiness and mentioned the scene where Claire says "you're the bear and I remember!" I thought, how could this show be cheesy and then I watched it and remembered that critic because, don't get me wrong, Claire is great and they have a lot of chemistry, but the scenes with her felt very cringe. It was like watching a cliché romance in the middle of a show that is not cliché at all on the contrary, and then I see the authors saying that they wanted that exactly, especially ep 5, to be like a classic romantic comedy! Like why?!

Anyway, not satisfied, they always put Syd in the middle of Carmy's scenes with Claire. And if they wanted it to look like she was working hard and he wasn't, there was a better way to do it without looking like she was jealous. Like, right at the beginning, after cook and chat with Syd, Carmy receives a call from Claire and at the end she asks if Fak is his best friend. There was no need for this emphasis but they made a point of saying Fak is Carmy's best friend (and throughout the series we see that he is, he really encourages Carmy and has been with him for a long time). Is not Syd, and we see that Carmy isn't even a good partner and they might not be that close (he didn't even know about her mother, or she didn't feel comfortable talking to him anyway) That's why I don't feel these two are the bffs or platonic partners like everyone says, partners, yes, but there's still a lot of work to be done. Then when they are discussing the menu she complains about Claire's participation (fairly since with Syd, his CDC, he postponed the matter) and in the end she says that he has to decide if she is a friend or a girlfriend and it feels so strange cause they dont seem that kind of friends, it felt weird when she said, it sound like a Fak and Rich thing. Then she literally has to explain that it wasn't jealousy but concern for the restaurant... Anyway, there was a way to do all this without seeming jealous or bummer, It was professionalism but nooooo, they had to put Claire/Carmy relationship against Syd /Carmy/restaurant.

And not satisfied, the authors, who didn't want romance, put Marcus into Syd (and that was a friendship that was super cool, talking shit about the chef and all) and later, after receiving a no, he raises his voice against her in front of everyone, he who is super calm (and at this point almost everyone in this kitchen has already disrespected Syd at least once and he was the one who was nice) and it is difficult to root for them as a couple, not to mention that if he loses his mother and they bond over it, after so many cool things between them, it seems so depressing (like welcome to the dead mom club!😬)

Oh! There was also the montage that showed her tattoo, in the middle of Carmy and Claire scenes! If they were going to show Syd dumping Marcus later, why not show him in the scenes too or something (he was in the beginning of it), then it would be like the meaning of the Three of Swords was that she had her heart closed to any romance, you know, and not just "treason".  And Carmy's anxiety attack that could show his "best friend" and Rich in a suit, Tina and everything good that was happening at the restaurant, but no! And with Claire/Carmy song playing.

And the authors said they put Carmy in the freezer just to give Syd a chance to shine... and wow, how wrong that went! It was perfect to close Rich's arc and even his relationship with Syd (in the end he was the partner that Syd expected from Carmy) but for her?! I wanted her to have the attitude she learned from the book and to be more firm, Rich could be part of it no problems, but with her in charge, more confident (like I wish she would knock on that door and tell Carmy to shut up when he wouldn't stop screaming from inside the freezer!) But she seemed like just another chef in the kitchen with Rich in charge, no?

All i am saying is I hope they know where they are going with Syd, she is a great character, with personality and deserves more than to be in the middle of a couple, or put her in a relationship just cause. Also Ayo switched to lead actress so I expected more from the character, Syd deserves to shine!!!  Like she also deserves "amusement or enjoyment" and all that but I don't know, now i understand those who say that romance would ruin the show, this thing with Carmy and his relationship was really boring to watch (sorry Carmy, I swear I'm rooting for you). I'm more excited to see more of her with Tina and Naty than anything else, really.  And she had her dream of having her restaurant with her food, the best food! and now she have it, but it's Carmy's restaurant, with his family, and their nickname, and almost all of his menu (which was hardly discussed with her), and probably her name it's not even in the documents...and I have no idea what the next season will be like, which is cool! But i am anxious🥲

And i'm kind stuck in season 1, the yellow light, the characters... like the bad thing about adding new characters to a new season of any series is that I don't tend to care about them as much. I wanted to know more about the OGs, you know?!  Ebraheim and Tina (her son!), Gary and the dishwashers (they barely showed up!) and Rich, Syd, Naty of course! Like if there's more of Claire with Carmy I get it but I don't wanna know more about her friend, or Fak's brothers and there are a lot of new employees too of course, and i dont care about them sorry😭 like I hope they focus on the OGs and give them more screen time and not for newbies.

 This was not going to be this long but this show 😅🥰😭!!!

#everyone wants a friendship between a man and a woman without romance #platonic and all #but Syd and Marcus were there doing it really well and no one seemed to care about the direction it took😒 #And Richie and Syd too #enemies to bff #sorrie sydrichie people #i feel youI they're amazing but I think it works better in fanfics now😅 #and Tina & Ebraheim #the best platonic relationship in the show! #always there for each other #but Syd and Carmy I don't understand! #If they are best friends and partners I hope to see more partnership and friendship between them without parallels with Claire! #everyone involved deserves better #the bear #sydney amadu #syd adamu #sydcarmy #<not really but #still can't get over the shot of the red stain over her heart after the Carmy/Claire sex scene like what was the point?

[bloggingboutburgers]

Reading your blog, I'm starting to see my relationship with my bf differently (we've been together for over a decade). Like, I've been questioning my romantic orientation for some time, suspecting I might be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. But I realise I don't really have a clear image of what romance actually is and if it's something I have in my relationship. Like, he's my best friend. But what makes it different that a very close friendship? Apart, you know, the fact we live together and see each other every day. I'm also asexual so we don't really have sex, but for the very rare time I feel like doing something for him, but it's not really something we do, though I know sex and romance are to different things, straight people tend to say that the difference between friendship and dating is sex. I've heard allos saying "if I don't have sex with my s/o, what are we? Friends?" Anyway, I'm just more and more confused by what those criterias are for defining what is and what is not a romantic relationship. Love? I mean, love can have so many forms, how am I to regognise which one I feel? I just care about my bf. I like spending time together. We help each other on a daily basis. And when one of us need alone time we give as much time as the other needs. We do our things each in our corners and meet in the middle when we want company. We're happy this way. And that's great! I just can't comprehend what this all means. Sometimes I'm confused about the feelings I get for other people. Am I attracted to them or do I just want to smother them with my intense friendship? Which is hard. I sometimes feel like I love my friend to hard and I shy away during our interactions for fear to overwhelm them with my love. What's the difference between the two? Between my relationship with my bf and the friendship with those people I have to keep away sometime for fear to be "too much"? I'm sorry for these ramblings. You probably don't have the answers to this, but I needed to tell all this to someone that might understand at least some of it. I love your blog btw.

Sorry I'm replying so late – but thank you so much for all of this input, it's actually so interesting to hear your take on your own experience.

You're right, I don't have the answers, because every experience is very personal and I don't wanna project onto others, but there's a lot of points I actually relate to very much – like, I don't have a clear idea of what romance even is either, I just feel in my gut that it's not what I have with my queerplatonic partner. I guess in my own case I've also always had a bit of trouble with the idea of a "best friend" (like, I HAVE entertained the idea that this or that person might be my "best friend" at some points in my life, but I always end up coming back to the thought that I don't feel OK putting one person above others in my head – I work more in tiers made out of several people at once).

I might also be overthinking things but I often hear in the long-term-relationship discourse that romantic partnerships often wind up turning into friendship over time and that's OK – no idea how that works but it's interesting to think about, and I wonder if there's any truth to that on an aromantic spectrum basis? Like maybe... If both of us are on the aromantic spectrum, then maybe we just didn't get the "romantic high" part because we don't feel romantic attraction or feel it less than most people, and we're straight to that "friendship" part people talk about? ...Either way, what you describe with your bf sounds like a vibe, a healthy vibe to me. Sounds like you guys have it figured out and I wish you the best, honestly.

Also lol it really IS a useful and sobering reminder that to most allo people, the "sex = romance" idea is probably very prevalent still... Makes it even harder to figure ourselves out

Either way sorry for rambling and thank you SO MUCH for sharing your self-reflection, honestly, whatever conclusion you come to I hope life is good for you^^

#mx loar tev #aromantic spectrum #aromantic awareness week #aro #aromantic

[dontlookhereplsblog]

Cinnamon girl inspired nagireo fic :)

Reo mikage gets and has everything. He gets fame, attention, good grades, love, money, and so much more. He’s the definition of perfection and amazing. He’s that’s just unbelievably charming and hypnotic. He’s strong willed, hard working, and just overall a worthy heir to the billion dollar mikage corps. There’s just one thing Mikage reo wants but cannot get and that’s one Nagi Seishiros heart.

For hours after nagi leaves reo can only think of the mental image of Nagis back retreating into the second selection with none other than isagi and Bachira. And each time the situation replays reos heart breaks a little more, he’s not even sure he has a heart at this point. Just an empty hole from where his best friend walked out with his heart. Reo has so much he needs to say to nagi.

He wants to tell nagi that he’s excited that nagi has taken an interest into football. He’s so happy that his best and only real friend is finally taking a real interest in anything that’s not a video game. A real interest in the sport that reo loves. Reos been wanting to show nagi how interesting and fun football could be from the beginning and now that Nagis feeling the same emotions from football reo gets he’s excited. He’s proud. He feels so happy for his friend and he just hopes nagi can feel how happy he is for him.

Reo wants to tell Nagi that he’s proud of him for trying to make friends and really putting himself out there. As a student at hakuho reo knows just what the other students say about nagi. About how he’s cursed and how weird he is. The rumors only stopped with nagi and reos friendship being put into the spotlight. Nagi taking the lead and not thinking it a hassle to make friends is a nagi reo so wants to be around. He wishes he were with him to see how well he’ll adjust to the new friends. How well their personalities mesh and to observe their dynamics together. He wants to see his nagi be around others and be happy.

Reo wants to tell Nagi that he’s jealous . even so Reo wants to say sorry for being so jealous. He’s so damn jealous and angry it makes him want to vomit up his feelings. He doesn’t like these feelings. He’s never had a reason for envy until today and now it seems to be the only thing other than heartbreak and sadness that can be felt. Reo knows it’s all irrational. You can’t be mad that your first friend left you and you can’t be jealous of the people he left you for. Especially when he was never as much of yours as you are his. Reo knew he couldn’t be Nagis only friend forever so he doesn’t get why he’s feeling all this. He knew this day would come one day and now that it’s here he’s being childish. Reo wanted to be the one to make football enthralling for nagi. Reo wanted to be the person that nagi would always play with.Reo wants to be the person nagi puts work into. Who nagi takes the initiative for. Why can’t he be that person? Reo wishes he were in isagi or Bachiras spots , that he was still with his best friend playing the sport they love. He wants Nagi to know that he’s so sorry for being so boring and for his jealousy. He wants Nagi to know that he’s going to work on his emotions. He’s going to go back to cool and calm mikage he just needs his best friend back. He needs his nagi back. He’s begging please nagi come back I’m sorry I’m so sorry I can and will change, let’s just play together again

Reo wants to know what was the whole point of their partnership and promise if nagi was just going to leave whenever the first better player comes. What’s the whole point of anything at all? It wasn’t only reos road to the World Cup? It was reos road to the World Cup with nagi. And now that there's no more nagi winning the World Cup wouldn’t even feel right. Reo wants his partner. Has he really already forgotten that they’re supposed to stay together until the end? Has he been wanting to play with Isagi and become Isagis' partner since the match? Has reo been less than satisfactory again in his life? Reo desperately wants to be enough for nagi, wants to be his partner and win the World Cup together and be happy together forever. But now that all seems like the biggest pipe dream. Reo deeply regrets awakening the genius Nagi Seishiro and wants to have never even met the lazy genius.

Reo wants to tell nagi that he doesn’t need him. He’s mikage reo and he doesn’t need anyone. Hell he’s only been playing for six months and he’s already better than half the guys in blue lock. In no time he can surpass nagi. Reo so wants to surpass nagi and make him regret ever leaving. Reo wants nagi to say that he needs him so reo can leave him! Reos the leaver and not the one that gets left!! Dammit he’s a mikage! Reo doesn’t need the stupid whiny baby that is nagi to follow him around and to hang on his shoulders. It was unbecoming anyways. Reo wants to beat nagi and have him begging. Needs the stoic Nagi Seishiro to become overwhelmed with emotions for reo, overwhelmed with his need for him. Because he will need reo.

And finally Reo wants to tell Nagi that he loves him. He loves him so much that he felt like a girl in a shoujo animanga. It’s so embarrassing and annoying but he really does. He’s feeling like his heart is chained and like nagi walked away with the key to it. He’s feeling so much. And he wishes he could just tell nagi everything. He wishes nagi didn’t leave and that they never went to blue lock so he could still be by his side and love him and not from afar. He wants to show nagi that he loves him and that if nagi were to come back right at this moment he’d be so happy. He wants to confess like the girls at school do to him. With sweet chocolates and gifts that reo doesn’t actually keep, but reo wants it to be so much better. Reo wants to spoil nagi. For the rest of both of their lives.

Next time reo sees nagi it’s in the baths. There’s other people there but they’re not nagi. No one could ever be. And so instead of telling nagi everything reo challenges him, makes them rivals. This is blue lock after all. And whereas reo has so much he wants to say to nagi he won’t, he can’t, it’s all too much of a risk and now they aren’t even friends. After the declaration of war reo leaves. He leaves everything unsaid and a small part of him hopes and hopes that nagi understands. Understands everything that can’t be said.

This is my first fic pls tell me if you like it. I’m very nervous to post this but I’m kinda proud of it so pls tell me if you like it if you hate it whatever:)

#nagireo #Reonagi #Lana del rey inspired #cinnamon girl #blue lock #blue lock manga #blue lock anime #reo mikage #Nagi Seishirou #light angst #first time writing #isagi and bachi are here too

[jrhartauthor]

When it comes to writing contemporary romance, there are certain expectations that readers may have:

A happily ever after or happy for now ending (HEA or HFN)

Chemistry between the main character and love interest

Intimacy

But when it comes to the last point, it’s high time to recognize that intimacy comes in different forms. For one, not every book needs on-page sexual intimacy. Many writers choose a closed-door sex scene, or to have their characters go as far as kissing and stop short of anything past that. But as LGBTQ+ representation in fiction grows, and we start to see more asexual and aromantic rep in stories, it may not just be about what an author wants to share on the page, but also about what a character feels comfortable with doing with their partner.

When it comes to writing characters under the ace and aro umbrellas, it’s important to know that these identities aren’t a monolith. Some asexual characters are sex-repulsed. Some enjoy sex in the right circumstances. Some enjoy sex under all circumstances. Asexual simply means “does not experience sexual attraction.” It doesn’t necessarily mean the character doesn’t want to have sex. Similarly, asexual characters may have an identity anywhere along the ace spectrum. A character could be asexual, gray asexual, demisexual… the list goes on.

Aromantic characters could want a queerplatonic partnership. Some aromantic characters may be okay with a relationship where their partner is alloromantic, and experiences and shares romantic feelings toward them, even if they don’t share those feelings in return, and that’s okay too.

When writing your character, taking time to research their specific identity and make sure that you’re writing it authentically is a huge help. Spend time learning about the terms used within the ace and aro communities, and what your character might feel, think, and understand of sexuality and romance.

As I wrote The Heartbreak Handshake, I honestly wondered whether or not readers would be okay with an contemporary romance with hugging as the peak of physical intimacy in the story. While the series it is a part of—the Clover Hill Romance series—ranges from no sex on page to open-door fully descriptive sex, and I knew there was a place for it in the series itself, having space in a series and space in readers’ hearts is a very different thing.

It turns out a lot of my fears were unfounded. The reality is, pushing your character outside of their comfort zone will bother a reader far more than writing something they may feel is “tame” by comparison to other stories. And if they’re not a fan of where your character (and you) draw the line? They may not be your target audience!

Regardless of if you’re writing the spiciest of spice allo romance, or an asexual one, using inclusive language is incredibly important. In the same way that you wouldn’t want to say “my friend Taz likes both genders,” (if Taz likes men and women, you can say men and women without dismissing that other genders exist), using inclusive language when it comes to asexuality and aromanticism can be helpful too. Check out the difference between these two ways of phrasing things:

“After spending so much time with her, my hope is that one day, we’ll be more than friends.”

“After spending so much time with my best friend, my hope is that she’ll feel the same spark I do.”

Both of these sentences imply that two people are on the cusp of a potential relationship, and that maybe they’ve been friends in the past with a possibility the relationship may shift in the future. Now take this example into consideration.

“Judging by the way they both acted, I got the impression they were more than friends.”

“Judging by the way they both acted, I got the impression they were definitely into each other.”

Again, both sentences convey the same basic meaning. But once again, one conveys that being friends is “less than” being in a romantic or sexual relationship. This isn’t true! And for many, a friendship is equally (or more) desirable.

All it takes is a little shifting of your language to make it more inclusive, and make sure that you’re putting romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships on equal footing.

If you’re not asexual or aromantic, writing a character that is can be hard. After all, there are tons of misconceptions about asexual and aromantic people. Hiring a sensitivity reader within this community—especially if they share your character’s exact identity—can help you ensure the most accurate portrayal possible. Even if you are ace or aro, the reality is, different ace and aro people have different experiences, and getting a second perspective (or third! Or fourth!) can help you flesh out your character more realistically. Lived experience when writing will almost always be better than writing a character you don’t share an identity with, especially if that identity is a margilized one—like another race, sexuality, or gender identity. Keeping that in mind as you write can help you pick your character and what you’re writing to begin with.

No one will ever argue that beta reading isn’t difficult or time consuming, but unlike beta reading, sensitivity reading places a special burden on the reader, often on a marginalized reader. Sensitivity reads are often reserved for reading a specific racial, sexual, gender, cultural, or disabled identity, and this can put a huge emotional or mental drain on a sensitivity reader. As a result, sensitivity reading should be paid work whenever possible. That said, if a sensitivity reader is up for a work or goods exchange, by all means, that’s an option too. Just remember that a sensitivity read requires a very different skillset and level of effort than beta reading or editing, and should be compensated accordingly.

You don’t have to skirt around your characters’ identity in writing. Often, sharing character identity actually helps a reader find what they’re looking for, both as you write and as you market your work as a writer. Being unapologetic about your characters’ ace or aro identity can help you find the readers your book is after.

Understanding Asexuality-The Trevor Project The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)* Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation-UNC Chapel Hill’s LGBTQ Center 5 Asexuals Explain what Asexuality Means to Them-Tinder (Video) 4 Demisexual People Explain what Demisexuality Means to Them-Tinder (Video) r/Asexuality and r/Aromantic on Reddit (Additional identities linked in Reddit Sidebars)** What it Means to be Aromantic-VeryWellMind Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy (AUREA)

*Please note: AVEN’s forums have sometimes been problematic. Your mileage may vary. Viewer discretion is advised.

**Reddit can often be problematic, especially outside of LGBTQ+ subreddits, but also within them. Viewer discretion is advised.

Please note Amazon links are affiliate links

The Heartbreak Handshake (cis m/nonbinary)

Goodreads | Amazon

Clover Hill Romance Series website | Goodreads | Amazon

Sex-repulsed asexual MC, nonbinary MC, autistic MC with sensory aversion to sexual intimacy, MC with ADHD

Content warnings: real-life aviation disasters resulting in death, autistic character faces unkindness for being autistic, referenced ace-phobia

Paxton McKee, Clover Hill’s rideshare driver and handyman, is known by his customers as responsible, dependable, and loyal. On first dates, though, he’s known by another word: boring. His dates never seem to appreciate his in-depth knowledge of famous aviation disasters or his LEGO expertise. His book club buddy, Mrs. Sawyer, keeps trying to set him up. But after so many failed dates, Paxton’s given up on finding someone who can accept him, special interests, stims, and all.

Hand-crafter Remi Sawyer put Clover Hill in their rear-view mirror to sell at craft fairs across the country. But being a traveling artisan is harder than Remi thought. With mounting bills, they’ve ended up back home. Being in their old teenage bedroom is weird. Even weirder, their mother keeps trying to set them up on dates, even after they’ve made it clear the homecoming is temporary.

To get Mrs. Sawyer off their backs, Paxton and Remi agree on a scheme: they’ll go on three dates. When it’s over, Paxton can pretend to be heartbroken, and Remi can get back on the road. They even shake on it. But awkward dates lead to the realization the two have a lot in common. Kissing is gross? Check. Spending quiet time doing projects together is enjoyable? Double check.

But Remi is still hell-bent on leaving Clover Hill again, and Paxton is dead-set on staying. Can they find a new vision that doesn’t involve Remi leaving their kindred spirit behind, or are they both destined to lose the person who might be their perfect companion?

–

Go Truck Yourself (cis f/nonbinary)

Coming Soon

Clover Hill Romance Series website | Goodreads | Amazon

Aromantic MC, nonbinary MC, Asexual MC, bi/panromantic MC, single parent MC, autistic child side character

Content warnings: attempted business sabotage, mentions of absentee parents, brief mention of a parent’s sobriety/rehab, brief mention of a deceased parent, mention of the death of a sperm donor/family member, minors using curse words, family member with dementia, mention of foreign exchange study programs in a positive light, mentions of travel social media and modern colonization

Between being a single parent and running a successful food truck, Myla Horan has no room for drama in her life. She's got her nose to the grindstone to make Tasteful Noods a successful noodle business year-round. But when her friend-turned-rival Zo comes back to town, they start to squeeze into her prime Clover Hill locations… and her profit margins.

After Zo moves back to town to care for their ailing uncle and starts a business of their own, they’re not surprised that Myla’s Tasteful Noods are faring better than their tiny food trailer, You're My Jam. After all, driven Myla can do anything she sets her mind to. Unfortunately, it also means all of the animosity they ended things with has resurfaced.

When Myla and Zo agree there's only room in Clover Hill for one of them, they make a deal: whoever loses the First Annual Clover Hill Food Truck Frenzy shuts down their truck. Forever.

But will serious sabotage leave them both truckless for the competition and threaten both of their chances at victory? Or will they work together as an unexpected dream team and find out they’re better as partners than rivals after all?

–

Getting Off (cis m/cis m)

Goodreads | Amazon | NineStar Press Website

Demisexual MC, biromantic/bisexual MC, gay MC

Content warnings: homophobia, homophobic slurs, bi-erasure, biphobia, sexual assault (on page), forced outing

JJ is certain he’s got everything figured out. He’s straight, right? He’s just not into the hookup culture prevalent on his college soccer team. But he’s trying to hide that to avoid getting on his team captain’s bad side.

Kade is anything but straight. Out and proud, he’s curious about how the “other half” lives… even as his best friends remind him there’s more to the LGBTQ+ community than just the “G.” Curious, Kade texts JJ a simple question: do straight guys ever get off together?

When JJ’s reply leads to a head-spinning sexual spark, he starts questioning everything he knows about his sexuality, both in terms of who he’s attracted to, and also why hookups have never been his thing. But when JJ endures trauma that confuses him more, he starts pushing Kade away. Kade has to learn how to be a supportive friend, and more than that, a supportive partner, or risk losing JJ altogether. And JJ? He has to fight for his team to be team players, even when they suspect he’s “playing for the other team.”

Please note: I haven’t read every book on the above lists, and cannot vouch for them. My inclusion of these lists here is not a recommendation of these books specifically, but instead an indication they exist.

LGBTQReads List of Books by Romantic/Sexual Orientation from @lgbtqreads

EpicREADS list of 23 YA Books with Asexual Representation from @epicreads

QueerBooksforTeens list of books with Aromantic Characters

QueerBooksforTeens list of books with Asexual Characters

Buzzfeed’s list of 17 Books about Asexual and Aromantic Validation from @buzzfeedbooks (cc: @buzzfeedlgbt)

Did you find this post helpful? Consider buying me a Ko-Fi!

#writing advice #asexual characters #aromantic characters #writing lgbtq #national hugging day

[snowbellewells]

Happy Birthday Krystal!!!: An EF AU Birthday Fic

This fic is a birthday gift for @kmomof4​ who deserves all the gifts and flails, love and hugs possible for this fandom to give!! I am so blessed to know her and be in the same fandom as she is. I hope she’ll enjoy this story (it grew from a drabble I wrote ages ago for a hiatus prompt, and if memory serves, Krystal wanted me to continue).  There will be one more part, soon I hope.

Enchanted Forest AU with Princess Emma and Pirate Killian (though not in quite the same way he became one in canon....)

***Also available on AO3 if you prefer***

“The Weight of the Crown (is a Feather on the Waves)”

by: @snowbellewells​ 

         “Emma! – That is, your Highness!  You cannot be serious!  The law clearly states…” but it is here that her disgruntled and rapidly nearing insubordinate advisor, Sir Sydney trails off at the cool, quelling look she cuts him with her sharp jade eyes.

         Her Royal Highness Emma Swan, her parents’ only heir and now Queen of Misthaven after their loss mere months ago, is tired of all these sycophants – people surrounding her who may have truly loved and respected her parents, but have none of that trust in her, and think that at barely eighteen she can be easily swayed to their way of seeing things. She has no use for their simpering, their seeming obeisance barely hiding their disapproval any time she takes a step beyond what they deem proper.  The intrigues of court and the careful diplomacy needed to navigate it had always made her uncomfortable.  Now, though, she has no choice; she must try to take the reins in her parents’ stead and do her best to live up to their legacy, like it or not. But she doesn’t trust the lot of them, any more than they trust her it seems. Especially not with this…

They had brought him before her hours ago now, shackled and tugged between two heavily breathing guards, attesting to just what a struggle he had given them in getting that far. A concerning trickle of blood had run from his hairline, showing they had been none too gentle in accosting him as it was. Still, he stood tall as he was pulled to a stop before her throne - a single one rather than the joined pair on the dais which had always beautifully represented her parents’ partnership in rule, and in all things. How she wished she had a partner to lean on now. When his dark hair was gripped roughly to jerk his head up to meet her gaze, those fathomless blue eyes had caught Emma’s, just as they always had, and she knew that even now he had lost none of the pride and honor he had always possessed. Though so much time had passed since she had seen that clear-eyed look every day and thought he might be that companion.

         Breaking unbidden into her thoughts, Lady Bleu, a former nun who came to their court from France after some intrigue which Emma had never been made privy to, speaks up next.  Once the governess who had ruled Emma’s nursery with an iron fist and shooed away the kinder maids like Ashley and Nova who would have played with her and been entertaining, affectionate friends, Bleu lays a cool hand on Emma’s wrist, where it sits tensely on the armrest of her throne, and it is all Emma can do not to shrug her off.  The woman had been a close confidante of her late mother’s, but Emma has never felt at ease with having the woman foisted on her from birth.  Even as a monarch in her own right, the sanctimonious matron is always at her elbow offering advice Emma does not want.  “All Sir Sydney means,” Lady Bleu offers in a tone intended to be soothing and placating, but which sets Emma’s teeth on edge and makes her skin crawl, “is that the law is adamant when it comes to piracy of any kind. I know that you suggest a fine and the stripping of both naval title and benefits in a spirit of mercy and remembrance of childhood friendship, nothing more, but leniency here could be read as fatal frailty, and in this time of upheaval, we cannot allow others to think us weak; it will lead to more unrest and worse crimes.”

         It is all Emma can do not to roll her eyes so far back in her head that the entire court can see her frustration.  Biting the inside of her cheek until she can taste blood, Emma forces herself not to respond until she can say something that is not a direct insult to her elders.  “Still, no one was harmed.  Nothing of any value was taken,” she reasons, trying to sound as if she is not half as emotionally invested as she is in truth, but merely attempting to be a fair and honorable judge.  “It would seem to me that a more thorough investigation – “

         “What does it matter if he did anything this time?” her “Uncle Grumpy”, another dear friend of her mother’s who had never quite warmed to Emma in the same way he had to the woman who had borne her, interjects.  “We have him in our grasp now.  He has certainly done enough in his previous raids to warrant the standard punishment.  The man is a brigand, a blackguard…and his death will mean one less pirate to worry about prowling our waters and attacking our shores.”

         Emma’s cheeks flush with the high emotion of distress which she must hide.  The mere thought of his booted feet dangling in air as the life leaves his body, his neck caught in the hangman’s noose – and at her behest – almost more than she can bear.  It is too much, too much to ask of her in royal obligation.  But she blinks the panic away, pulling the calm, regal mask she wears in public down over her face.  She must play this next part convincingly for him to have a chance at survival, and therefore for her own heart to keep beating unscathed.  A plan is hatching in her mind, but she gives no indication of her racing thoughts.  Lowering her eyes demurely, Emma feigns exhausted acquiescence and devotion to duty, nodding shortly as if she finally accepts their wise guidance.  They have been debating the matter since high noon when he was brought before her in chains, dragged down the aisle to her throne and forced to his knees at her feet by her personal guard – young men he had once played at sword fighting with long ago when they were all younger, they pages and he a stable boy. 

         “Very well,” she murmurs quietly but clearly, making sure that those assembled hear every word.   All depends on them believing in her resolve at this juncture; none can suspect what she truly intends.  “It will be as you say.  His sentence is to be carried out at dawn, according to the letter of our law.  Now, leave me.”  The last is utterly firmly, brooking no further discussion, and wisely none of those assembled dares speak to her again.

         Shaking their heads and murmuring to themselves about why there should have been any question, her various councilors and advisors file from the room, overall seeming pleased that their young regent has finally seen the sense in their words.  Emma is alone in the large throne room at last.  Turning her eyes heavenward, where she trusts her parents – more fit rulers than she had ever hoped to be – will understand.  “I am sorry,” she whispers brokenly before she steels her spine and determination overtakes over her form as she adds, “but please give me strength.”

*************                          **************                                        ************

          It is in the true dark watch of the night that Queen Emma, feeling very small and like the orphaned, often uncertain princess she truly is, slips undetected from her opulent bedchamber and through the castle she has lived in since birth, knowing exactly the path she must take to alert no one and remain unseen.  Winding her way swiftly and silently down staircases and through empty halls, she finally makes her way to the dungeons without anyone being the wiser.

         Quickly sending a burst of magic at the two guards posted in the entry of the dungeons, and another at the one who stands outside the condemned pirate’s cell, they never know what hit them and cannot tell anyone who questions them later.  Her parents had always fearfully cautioned her to keep her magic secret, and so the secret had died with them; the only other person who had ever known of that part of her is the man she is here to save. 

         A pale beam of moonlight slants through the high window into his cell, half-illuminating his ruggedly handsome face and making his blue eyes sparkle where he reclines on the rude cot in the corner.  At hearing her light, hurried footsteps, his head jerks up, and upon seeing her, he sucks in an audible gasp of breath.  “Swan!” he exclaims in a shocked whisper.  “You cannot be here, Lass!”

He is on his feet and standing at the front of his cell, mere inches from her now, where she has pulled to a sudden stop. It is closer than they have been in years - years that she had spent wondering where he was, if he was well, if he still lived and if he would ever return. His chest heaves with agitated breaths, and his right hand clutches the bars in a tight grip as he readies himself to argue with her further.

They have no time for that.

         “You idiot!” she hisses back at him, not bothering with trying to swipe the keys from the ring on the guard’s belt, but instead waving her hand impatiently at the lock on the cell door, allowing it to swing open and him to rush forward and sweep her into his arms.  “Where else would I be?” she finishes, her voice slightly muffled against his shoulder where he presses her close.

         “You’ve decreed my death on the morn for piracy, your Majesty,” he reminds her wryly, the gentle way he smooths his strong hand over her soft hair and down her back belying the somewhat accusatory words.  “Do you not think some might find you visiting me in the night and freeing me from my cell a bit scandalous?”

         “Enough!” she orders, a bit of her royal upbringing creeping back into her tone.  Her tone and bearing effectively cut him off, even as she clutches his hand in hers, gentling the harsh words with the action. She will drag him out after her if necessary, and they can argue about her recklessness and irresponsibility later… once he is safe.

         However, Killian Jones – her friend, the man who somewhere along the way she secretly began to love, the man who had proudly served in her father’s Navy with his older brother, who had only turned pirate to pursue the crooked commander who had ordered his brother’s death and had evaded her father’s detection – does not budge.  His hand pulls her back.  “What are you thinking, Swan?” he asks, once more using his childhood nickname for her.  “You cannot risk being implicated with me.  Your country needs you, and I…I will not see you punished alongside me for my crimes.”

“What crimes?” she whispers, her lips trembling with emotion, but her voice managing to remain steady as she takes in his dear, handsome face. There is a scar high on his cheek, long healed but which has never seen before. Tentatively, she reaches up to brush her fingers over it, as if to soothe a pain which had long since faded, and he closes his eyes to savor her touch. “We both know you are not the criminal they all claim. You have encountered more honor among your crew of so-called thieves and pirates than you did among your commanding officers or I have among my own inner circle. If only my parents had died before we could prove it…”

“While that may be the truth, Love,” a bit of the rogue most believed him to be showing in his words and a small, sad smile tugging at one corner of his full lips, “I do not think most will see it that way. If you were hurt or shamed because of loyalty to me, that would wound me more than any punishment they could mete out.”

She turns, allowing herself a moment of weakness to mourn all that could have been, all that she will miss before turning to face him with firm resolve.  “You should have thought about that before you returned.  I will not see you hanged come morning – not when I am able to stop it.”

         He swallows hard, some emotion Emma cannot quite fathom swimming in his deep blue gaze.  “I had to come, Lass.  You had just lost both your parents.  When I received word…”

         But Emma shakes her head, snapping back to the task at hand, knowing the time for them to work out everything else is when they are on his ship and safely away from here.  “Not now, Killian.  Trust me.  I know what I am doing, and I deem it worth the risk.  Just follow me.  That is an order…from your Queen.”

         A sardonic smile quirks one side of his mouth, but he does not argue with her again, nor hesitate any further, merely dips his head in a short nod and murmurs, “As you wish, Milady.” 

         Hand in hand they steal from her palace, leaving behind the birthright that she cannot stand to carry alone any longer, not if the price to keep it is the life of the only person who has ever truly known and understood her.  When the large bells clang their distress signal with the dawn, alerting the castle and the surrounding city of the escaped prisoner and missing queen, they are already far out to sea in his ship – beyond hearing, beyond capture.  

As the new day dawns sparkling on the ocean, Emma feels exhilarated by the rise and fall of each cresting wave. She is no longer Queen, but freer than she has ever been…and reunited with the man she loves.  She has given up her crown but preserved her soul.

          Tagging a few others who might enjoy: @searchingwardrobes @jennjenn615 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @laschatzi @apiratewhopines @jrob64 @elizabeethan @the-darkdragonfly​ @xsajx​ @anmylica​ @sotangledupinit​ @donteattheappleshook​ @teamhook​ @revanmeetra87​ @spartanguard​ @therooksshiningknight​ @tiganasummertree​ @optomisticgirl​ @winterbaby89​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​ @cosette141​ 

#birthday ff #gift for @kmomof4 #cs Enchanted Forest au #the weight of the crown (is a feather on the waves) #princess emma #pirate killian

[girlboss-enthusiast]

September’s @radblrthemeweeks prompt is marriage and relationships, which is great since I’ve been musing on something related lately.

When my best friend and I were kids, we made a pact: if both of us were single by age 30, we would get “fake married.” After all, if we reached that ancient age without finding a good man to settle down with, there probably weren’t **any good men left.

To us, both ten years old in a small conservative town, marriage wasn’t about sex or romance (which at that time we only knew about in a heterosexual context), but partnership. A married couple would live together. They would buy a house together and have joint finances. Each person would contribute equally, which for us meant we would both work, do chores, and take care of the kids — who were inevitable, in our sheltered worldview.

And we would also do taxes together. We were fuzzy on that part, but taxes seemed very adult, and something married couples had to do all the time.

Most of all, we thought, a married couple prioritized each other. They’d have each other’s backs, through sickness and in health. What were wedding rings but grown-up versions of our handwoven friendship bracelets, anyway?

Then we “grew up.” We put away the thought of platonic partnership when we hit our teens. Romance became our priority. Society had been hammering that into our heads since earliest childhood, and once puberty introduced us to feelings of romantic love and sexual desire, we put away our so-called childish dreams and focused on more adult things.

But the pact remained. We still joked about it, especially when comforting each other post-breakup. In fact, if tragedy hadn’t struck (in the form of her deep connection to cats and my deep allergy to them), we would probably be living together now. Sometimes I mourn what could have been; we would have been happy and fulfilled with each other.

I think about our pact a lot these days. Two women, platonic but very much loving, centering each other as life partners regardless of any romantic relationship that may appear in our lives — I think my childhood BFF and I were inadvertently inventing female separatism.

We weren’t the only ones, either. The more I look around, the more I see women who don’t consider themselves radical feminists, who might not think about feminism much at all, choosing to exclusively build relationships with women. I find them online, in places like women-only forums and subreddits. I find them in my social circles, where single moms have chosen to throw in together and support each other; there’s a household of three women and five kids who live in both sides of a duplex, a community unto themselves. I find them among my parents’ friend group, made up of retirees who credit their happiness to lifelong singleness, or to their divorces.

“Stick with your sisters,” one advised me once. “A man will only drag you down.”

Women are starting to question the established wisdom of the nuclear family. What value does a man bring into our lives? they ask each other, as they compare experiences. We can support ourselves financially. We have each other for companionship. We have the confidence and ability to find sexual flings if we want, and access to any sex toy we can think of if we don’t. Men never do their fair share in relationships; we are worn-down and sick of it. What if we turn to each other?

And, miraculously, some do.

Am I saying that straight women are becoming separatists en masse? No, definitely not. The patriarchy demands the prioritization of heterosexual relationships from women, and we are a long way from dismantling that. It’s baked into society and driven into us from birth: prioritize men, turn your back on your sisters and female lovers. Arguably, the act of centering women alone isn’t even separatism, depending on who you’re asking.

But does it give me hope, to see women break that conditioning? Does it give me hope to know that women are meeting each other’s eyes and saying, “I’m going to choose you, my friend, my sister”? Oh, yes.

Like wildflowers growing on a featureless lawn, we are blooming. And I have hope that in the future, we will run to riot and fill that lawn with color and vivacity. I think we can do it. We are women, and our bonds are powerful.

#radblrthemeweek3 #radfem safe #essay.txt

[astroismypassion]

Hi! Hope you're doing great.☺️ I am a huge fan of your astrology observations and I always look forward to reading them.😍 I wasn't sure about sending you an ask cause my astro questions usually get ignored by people on here, so I usually don't bother asking anymore. But, I would really appreciate your explanation on 4° Aquarius Juno in 6th house conjunct Aquarius Sun and Uranus. I know you're busy, so it's ok if you don't get to my ask though. Thank you very much for your time and effort anyways.🤗❣️

(I also wanted to express my gratitude to you for taking the time to actually answer so many asks. I always see you answering numerous asks on here and it's genuinely very kind and generous of you to do so. You're one of my my favorite astrologers on here, not just cause of how super talented and knowledgeable you obviously are, but also cause of your warm, welcoming, and friendly personality. It's one thing to be well-informed on a topic, but you're the whole package when you're humble, down-to-earth, and eager to share that knowledge with others while maintaining a lovely demeanor.🥰❤)

Hi!

Thank you so much! What you did is really sweet and I has touched me. Thank you! <3

In my case, so on my blog, the reason why I don't or didn't answer is purely out of me being just one person who works on the blog and not enough time to reply to 2020 questions in my mailbox. I'm being serious there are 2020 questions currently in my mailbox. So it's hard to cover them all.

4° (Cancer) degree Aquarius Juno in 6th house conjunct Aquarius Sun and Uranus

your spouse could be your best friend

you will enjoy doing all group activities with your spouse, even hanging with your friends while with them

you might be really good friends first and the friendship will be basis of the relationship

you might suddenly decide to marry and also very suddenly, unexpectedly divorce or separate

you might also decide not to marry, but still have a 10 year long partnership with someone

you could feel marriage is a bit overrated

you could also marry 2-3 times due to Juno in the 6th house

you could like your family (especially the mother) to approve of your partner

you might actually surprise your parents (more so your mother) with the choice of your spouse, partner

you might rely for emotionaly safety, stability and comfort and even emotional peace on your romantic partner

you might take short-distance trips often together

you might be "married" to your friends

you might actually dedicate more attention to your friends than your romantic partner

you might feel like you could be in a love triangle at some point

you might have an on and off connection or it could be long-distance at some point

you might have health oriented partner, who is lean, fit or workout often

they might also have high metabolism lol due to Aquarius influence over the 6th house as well

you might have service oriented partner (they could even work in a hospital or hospitality)

you like genius like people, those who are unconventional, quirky or have something unique about your look

you might date a pilot or someone who is way for the job for 3-4 weeks or more

you will travel to see your partner

or relocate (but not outside of country) to a different city within the same country, your home country

your partner will have glowy, clean skin and they will care about personal hygene, selfcare

you will have partner that is a similar field of work like you

I hope Thursday has been treating you good!

@astroismypassion

#astrology #juno in astrology #astroismypassion #astroblr #astro community #astro note #astro notes #juno #astrology blog #aquarius juno

[firsttarotreader]

Question for the tarot. I just saw the round table with the guys and there were so many things I totally didn't realise because me not being an actor. The stuff they take home with them after playing a part after a work day. And I am not even talking about parts of bad guys but parts in general, especially difficult part. Not the funny ones. I wonder how they deal with it. Pedro is living on his own. I could imagine it must be hard at times, not being able to talk about his work day with a partner immediately after getting home. Yes he has friends, but it's still different. I wonder how he deals with it.

Hello! Well, first, having a partner wouldn’t necessarily help with that, many people just don’t really listen to what their partners have to say or simply don’t care. 😂😂 Be careful to not fantasize relationships because seriously, people can be really fucked up. 🤣🤣 But I asked how he deals with the things he might take home from his characters after a day at work. I was thinking in a general sense and not about the villains. The first pull was the Queen of Flowers, The Lovers and 9 of Teacups reversed.

So, Queen of Flowers is a positive card for that because it means he has a natural command of his skills, he knows what he’s doing and his energy is directed to the right places at work. He can separate himself from the character and know he is putting up a “show”, he’s on a stage and he uses his energy in a healthy way. The Lovers is interesting because I can see him really benefiting from his work partnerships and friendships. He relies on them to stay grounded and balanced, and this might explain why he gets along so well with his co-stars. If he takes something home from work, his work friends will be the best options for him. 9 of Teacups reversed, however, shows us that at these times he might feel like his “dream jobs” weren’t exactly what he expected, maybe even the idea he had of an acting career wasn’t what he expected. He’s kind of disillusioned and feeling like he had high hopes for something and it didn’t turn out as “dreamy” as he thought. He might even think like he wasn’t the best option for the job, that he can’t do it like he thought he could.

The next pull was Suspension, The Chariot and 10 of Teacups reversed. Suspension, as The Hanged Man, represents hesitation and the fear of deep diving he might feel at first when he realizes something is gonna be hard on him, but The Chariot shows us he finds the way to go, he allows himself to fully “go for it” and he gets where he has to get to achieve what the character needs. He finds his way and he takes control of the situation, he goes in the right direction and he’s gonna kill it in the scene. 10 of Teacups reversed, on the other hand, means he will probably still feel dissatisfied and disappointed in his own work after, like he was not perfect, like he could have done more but didn’t.

I asked for one last card as a closing thought on that and it was the Knight of Hedgehogs. Work, work, work, slow and steady, one day at a time, and don’t give up because you will get there. This might be his mindset to handle it.

So I would say he deals with everything pretty well and he relies on his co-stars a lot when he feels like something might be affecting him and even to avoid having it affect him. The feeling of dissatisfaction with the work he’s done/is doing can be more of a problem than anything else.

#career #work #characters #Readings

[jayteacups]

Hello!! I was wondering if you have any updates, leaks, or new ideas about your oc "Zheng Nüwa" or new ideas about your story 'The Creed of the Godless' in general. I absolutely LOVE your writing, and I'm delighted that there is Chinese representation. I also don't often come across AoT fanfics with an Asian oc, so it's nice to see one. Thank you for reading this, I hope you have a great day!! :))

Hi anon, so so sorry for the late response, been a little busy the last couple of days but I hope you're doing well!! 🫶🏼 Thank you for the ask and thank you so so much for reading my fics 🥹🥹 I also really wanted some Chinese representation, and I'm glad you're liking it!!

I do have a couple of updates actually!! (Uncharacteristic for me I know 😂 so savour it lolol)

The first update is that I've decided to change titles for this fic, which is now called 'Here's to the Damned'. This is the first time I'm revealing it!! I think HTTD suits what I have in mind for the story more, but I really do like Creed so I'm saving this title in case come up with any other WIPs that would suit that title.

The second update is that I recently made some cute picrews of Levi & Nüwa in case you missed it!! They're so 🥹🥹 I love them sm!

Aaaand I'll reveal a little bit of what I have planned! For context, this fic is going to cover pre-canon all the way to post-canon, and I plan to fill in some gaps that the main story didn't have an awful lot to cover. (There may be some canon divergence later on in the story, we'll see how I feel when I get to that point lol). Spoilers for my fic ahead!! Let's talk a bit of pre-canon, shall we? (This is long so the rest of this post is going under the cut!)

I believe I've mentioned it before but Nüwa and Levi are childhood best friends. Her parents ran the tavern that Kenny first took Levi to, and they quickly became friends. Kenny and the Zhengs were also business partners, as Nüwa's parents used their tavern as a cover for their more illicit dealings - mostly information, smuggling weapons, medical and non-medical supplies, stuff like that. They're separated for a while (won't spoil why for now) and reunite when they're adults. By this point in time, Nüwa's a bartender at another establishment and follows in her parents' footsteps as she's also an information broker/smuggler of sorts. Levi's been doing jobs with Furlan for a short while now, and when Levi and Nüwa reunite they're quick to form a business partnership and eventually they rekindle their friendship. Lots of awful, tragic things have happened to the both of them since they were separated as children, and neither of them trust very easily, so it's a slow process of re-learning their friendship. We know Levi just doesn't express himself easily and is a very guarded person, and Nüwa is more the type of person to hide what she truly feels behind a veneer of charisma. Girl's acting game is strong, but Levi's always had the skill of reading her like she's an open book. He makes her feel truly seen, understanding why she has done some of the more morally grey things she has and will do. She finds that unsettling, not used to being read so easily - but she learns to trust in him, seeing that he's still kind at heart and always dependable, that he's still selfless and empathetic and compassionate despite everything, she appreciates his honesty and bluntness (she of all people know how words can be fickle) and she sees that he is so much more than what people see him as. And in turn, he admires her indomitable spirit, her burning desire to make things better for the impoverished people of the Underground, the way she understands and accepts him for both his highest and lowest moments, and the ways she adapts and comes up with creative solutions to keep herself on top of the game, since she's not much of a direct physical brawler like he is. Eventually, the two develop this unspoken, unwavering devotion for one another.. and Levi starts to fall. You heard me, he falls first 😎😌 Nüwa's time is a fair bit later in the story hehehe. (Isabel is incredibly invested in their relationship and Furlan refuses to touch this situation with a ten-foot pole and has to restrain Isabel from meddling at all times.)

Nüwa leaves the Underground a couple of years before the events of ACWNR (that's a whole saga but that's not what I'm revealing today lol). Her main goal once she's up on the surface is to work her way up the social ladder - the more power and influence she has, the closer she gets to the crown, the closer she gets to finding out why her family - and the other minority bloodlines - were persecuted, and the closer she gets to making things better for the people of the Underground. At the beginning, Nüwa started by getting a job for a noble family, who once held great power in the royal court over a hundred years ago (👀) and they are now relatively low-ranking amongst the nobility. This family is desperate to hold onto what little power and influence that still remains, and are very, very desperate to get back what was once lost - which is why they resort to hiring a girl from the Underground with no formal qualifications, that's how desperate they are 😂 (The reasons for their fall from grace will get revealed in time!! But I don't want to spoil that just yet lol)

Nüwa and the male heir of this family, who's around the same age as her, strike up an alliance. (They're in their mid 20s at this point). He was actually the second son and was never groomed to be the heir, until his older brother's death a few years prior. So he never expected to have to one day take over his father's titles and all that. Also he's gay and closeted, so he and Nüwa strike a deal - they enter a lavender marriage. Nüwa is given free rein to do all the networking, politicking and business stuff behind the scenes, which will be easier now that she has an official noble title by marriage, and therefore she's got more influence - and legal protection (because girl is going to need it with the shit she gets up to on the regular lmao) - than before. Meanwhile, his parents will stop hounding him about getting married, he gets to keep living the spoiled-youngest-child care-free lifestyle that he's used to, and he is still free to stay with his male partner in secret. The issue of making an heir themselves is a bridge they will cross a little later haha but until then all is fine 😂 I promise he'll get a name eventually, I haven't quite landed on one that speaks to me just yet!

Now how does Levi feel about this? 👀 If Nüwa is already married, will she and Levi ever be able to confess to one another?? 👀 Will they get to be together out in the public??? 👀 Surely Nüwa's marriage of convenience can't last???? 👀 Is the Ackerzheng wedding Picrew actually going to happen then or is it just a dream?????? 👀 I can't give you much answers to those questions yet 😂 But I can tell you that I really don’t like miscommunication plots (so she's not keeping Levi in the dark about this don't worry!! though obviously this is way before Nüwa realises she has feelings for Levi lol), and I can also tell you that there's going to be some Ackerzheng secret relationship shenanigans later on, for a bit, because I lowkey love that trope hehehehe

Additionally, Nüwa's husband sets her up with a fellow university alumnus, Guinevere, who comes from new money and is a reporter for Berg Newspapers. Guin helps Nüwa get up to speed on the business/politics side of the nobility, and the two become good friends. It's always good to have a connection to the press lolol. At first, Guin strongly champions journalistic integrity - which will become a challenge because we know the government censors the news outlets. A lot of her arc will be her realising her naivety is at odds with the reality of things, and trying to find a balance between staying true to her vision whilst avoiding any trouble. She grows increasingly conflicted about this, especially when things come to a head with the First Restoration Expedition (where thousands of Wall Maria refugees were sent back out in what was basically a culling). Fun fact, Guinevere is the one reporting on the outcomes of Survey Corps expeditions, and therefore is in contact with Erwin a lot, and the two have some kind of intellectual rivalry back-and-forth nonsense going on where he's trying to get her to write about the Survey Corps in a more positive light, and she's just like... 'okay, make me', and he's like 'oh I do love a challenge'. 👀👀

Also, Nüwa's sister-in-law is married to a high-ranking clergyman in the Wall Religion. Their daughter, Odelia, runs away, sick of the restrictive lifestyle of nobility and traumatised by her father's toxic, abusive teachings. Odelia wants nothing more than to discover the world out there for herself, to know the truths of the world and to prove the Wall Religion wrong, and to have autonomy in her life the way her mother never could. She ends up enlisting in the 104th... and perhaps she clashes strongly with one of the other recruits whose ideology could not be further away from hers... and maybe this recruit is a particular boy who wants nothing more than to become an MP to live a cushy life in the Interior 👀👀 and maybe they will learn to grow and understand the other's perspectives 👀 and become friends as they learn to work together to get through the tragic events of the story 👀 and they accept the messier, selfish parts of each other and themselves because that's all part of being human 👀 and maybe amidst this mutual understanding they find love....... 👀 maybe............. 👀

Also also I will make a canon x oc sideblog soon, so stay tuned :))))

Thank you sm anon, have a lovely day!! <3

#mail for jay #oc lore drop!!!! #including a soft launch of two other ocs lol #and a fic title drop hehe #levi x oc #levi ackerman x oc #canon x oc #aot oc #snk oc #vesper zheng #zheng nüwa #ackerzheng

[w-ht-w]

Wait But Why: How to Pick Your Life Partner

Dissatisfied single people should actually consider themselves in a neutral, fairly hopeful position, compared to what their situation could be. A single person who would like to find a great relationship is one step away from it, ... “1) Find a great relationship.” 

People in unhappy relationships, on the other hand, are three leaps away, with a to-do list of “1) Go through a soul-crushing break-up. 2) Emotionally recover. 3) Find a great relationship.” 

when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.

Intense shit. 

--

a great achievement is just what a long series of unremarkable tasks looks like from far away. In the pixel post, we looked at a human life up close and saw that it was just an ordinary Wednesday, again and again and again—and that achieving life happiness was all about learning to be happy on a routine weekday.

I think the same idea applies to marriage/[partnership.]

human happiness doesn’t function in sweeping strokes, because we don’t live in broad summations—we’re stuck in the tiny unglamorous folds of the fabric of life, and that’s where our happiness is determined.

So if we want to find a happy marriage, we need to think small—we need to look at marriage up close and see that it’s built not out of anything poetic, but out of 20,000 mundane Wednesdays.

Marriage isn’t the honeymoon in Thailand—it’s day four of vacation #56 that you take together. Marriage is not celebrating the closing of the deal on the first house—it’s having dinner in that house for the 4,386th time. And it’s certainly not Valentine’s Day.

Marriage is Forgettable Wednesday. Together.

So I’ll leave the butterflies and the kisses in the rain and the twice-a-day sex to you—you’ll work that part out I’m sure—and spend this post trying to figure out the best way to make Forgettable Wednesday as happy as possible.

To endure 20,000 days with another human being and do so happily, there are three key ingredients necessary:

1) An Epic Friendship

I enjoy spending time with most of my friends—that’s why they’re my friends. But with certain friends, the time is so high-quality, so interesting, and so fun that they pass the Traffic Test.

The Traffic Test is passed when I’m finishing up a hangout with someone and one of us is driving the other back home or back to their car, and I find myself rooting for traffic. That’s how much I’m enjoying the time with them.

Passing the Traffic Test says a lot. It means I’m lost in the interaction, invigorated by it, and that I’m the complete opposite of bored.

To me, almost nothing is more critical in choosing a life partner than finding someone who passes the Traffic Test. When there are people in your life who do pass the Traffic Test, what a whopping shame it would be to spend 95% of the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t.

A Traffic Test-passing friendship entails:

A great sense of humor click. No one wants to spend 50 years fake laughing.

Fun. And the ability to extract fun out of unfun situations—airport delays, long drives, errands. Not surprisingly, studies suggest that the amount of fun a couple has is a strong predictor for their future.6

A respect for each other’s brains and way of thinking. A life partner doubles as a career/life therapist, and if you don’t respect the way someone thinks, you’re not going to want to tell them your thoughts on work each day, or on anything else interesting that pops into your head, because you won’t really care that much what they have to say about it.

A decent number of common interests, activities, and people-preferences. Otherwise a lot of what makes you ‘you’ will inevitably become a much smaller part of your life, and you and your life partner will struggle to find enjoyable ways to spend a free Saturday together.

A friendship that passes the Traffic Test gets better and better with time, and it has endless room to deepen and grow ever-richer.

2) A Feeling of Home

Trust and security. Secrets are poison to a relationship, because they form an invisible wall inside the relationship, leaving both people somewhat alone in the world—and besides, who wants to spend 50 years lying or worrying about hiding something? And on the other side of secrets will often be suspicion, a concept that directly clashes with the concept of home. This is why having an affair during an otherwise good marriage is one of the most self-defeating and short-sighted things someone could ever do.

Natural chemistry. Interacting should be easy and natural, energy levels should be in the same vicinity, and you should feel on the same “wavelength” in general. When I’m with someone on a very different wavelength than I am, it doesn’t take long before the interaction becomes exhausting.

Acceptance of human flaws. You’re flawed. Like, really flawed. And so is your current or future life-partner. Being flawed is part of the definition of being a human. And one of the worst fates would be to spend most of your life being criticized for your flaws and reprimanded for continuing to have them. This isn’t to say people shouldn’t work on self-improvement, but when it comes to a life partnership, the healthy attitude is, “Every person comes with a set of flaws, these are my partner’s, and they’re part of the package I knowingly chose to spend my life with.”

A generally positive vibe. Remember, this is the vibe you’re a part of now, forever. It’s not really acceptable for it to be a negative one, nor is it sustainable. 

3) A Determination to be Good at Marriage

Relationships are hard. Expecting a strong relationship without treating it like a rigorous part-time job is like expecting to have a great career without putting in any effort.

So what skills does someone need to learn to be good at marriage?

Communication. Communication being on this list is as silly as “oxygen” being on a list of items you need to stay healthy. And yet, poor communication is the downfall of a huge number of couples—in fact, in a study on divorcees, communication style was the top thing they said they’d change for their next relationship.8 Communication is hard to do well consistently—successful couples often need to create pre-planned systems or even partake in couples’ therapy to make sure it happens.

Maintaining equality. Relationships can slip into an unequal power dynamic pretty quickly. When one person’s mood always dictates the mood in the room, when one person’s needs or opinion consistently prevail over the other’s, when one person can treat the other in a way they’d never stand for being treated themselves—you’ve got a problem.

Fighting well. Fighting is inevitable. But there are good and bad ways to fight. When a couple is good at fighting, they defuse tension, approach things with humor, and genuinely listen to the other side, while avoiding getting nasty, personal or defensive. They also fight less often than a bad couple. According to John Gottman, 69% of a typical couple’s fights are perpetual, based on core differences, and cannot be resolved—and a skilled couple understands this and refrains from engaging in these brawls again and again.

1a. https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

1b. https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html

#relationships #dating

[lunarticxenia]

Asteroid Leviathan #8813

Asteroid Leviathan #8813 deals with our inner demons and things that make life hard for us. One might apply more to you than another, also everything might not apply because this asteroid can present differently for many people. Hope you guys enjoy, and for anyone who’s sending questions I’m trying my best to answer them! My post on how to find asteroids in the natal chart is here. 

TW: Abuse, ED, S*xual assault. 

♠️ 1H/Aries: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 1H or in Aries regards their appearance, path in life, and general sense of self. Their inner demons could also regard their identity- perhaps they struggle with their sexuality or gender if they’re LGBT+. Individuals with this would likely pursue things like plastic surgery, heavy make-up, tattoos, piercings, and/or heavy working out to “fix” their appearance. They might also feel very lost with themselves as well, and don’t know who they truly are. They also might struggle with their path in life, they don’t know what they’re supposed to do and just feel lost all the time. 

♠️ 2H/Taurus: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 2H or in Taurus might regard possessions, their sense of worth, their body, and food. Individuals with this may have or had an eating disorder (myself included). These individuals might also have really low self esteem, and have a low sense of worth. They might find themselves in abusive relationships and/or friendships because their sense of worth is so low. They also might struggle with money; they might have grown up poor or grew up envying what other people had. They also might place their sense of worth based on how much money they have and/or what possessions they have.  They might feel that if they don’t have the nicest clothes that they’re just not worthy of anything. This could also manifest as a person who uses retail therapy and/or in more extreme cases someone who will do anything for money even it’s illegal or immoral. 

♠️ 3H/Gemini: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 3H or in Gemini might regard around intelligence, communication, siblings, primary and secondary education, and aunts & uncles. These individuals may have problems with communicating or learning- this could definitely manifest as an ADHD and/or a speech impediment placement. If not this extreme, the individual might just have problems with communicating in general and/or studying i.e. they can’t say how they feel, they can’t study, etc. They also might feel insecure about their intelligence and fear that they’re not smart enough.They could’ve gotten bullied in primary and/or secondary school. They could also have a strained relationship with a sibling and/or an aunt or uncle. In some cases, I’ve seen individuals with this have to take on almost a parental role with their siblings and this can cause a lot of strain on the individual. This could just mean an individual’s relationship with their sibling causes them strain. 

♠️ 4H/Cancer: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 4H or in Cancer might regard around the family, the mother, emotions, and their femininity. These individuals may have issues with their family- they might not get along with them well or they just flat out don’t like their family or certain members in it. Moreover, this could be a mommy issues placement. Individuals with this also might struggle with feeling insecure about showing their emotions and/or might struggle releasing them in a healthy way. They might be embarrassed when they cry, and no one will ever know how they feel. They tend to suffer alone. They might also struggle with their feminine side. Individuals might view their feminine side as “weak” and might associate it with showing emotions which they don’t like to do. 

♠️ 5H/Leo: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 5H or in Leo might regard love, creativity, expression, and children. These individuals may have issues with love. Not really relationships necessarily, but just how they give and receive love. These individuals might also struggle with seeing what love is and may struggle with recognizing it. They might see validation or attention as love. They also might be afraid of falling in love. They also might stay in abusive relationships because they love that person so much or they think that the abuse is a form of love. Basically just issues with love and how they see it. If not that their inner demons could center around creativity; perhaps they get absorbed in their creative works and nothing they do is ever good enough. They also might have a fear of having children and/or they might have issues with their children if they have them. For a person in the LGBT+ community I could also see this placement manifesting as being afraid to express their sexuality and gender (since this deals with love). If not that, they just struggle with expressing themselves in general. 

♠️ 6H/Virgo: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 6H or in Virgo might regard their health, employment, and sense of usefulness. These individuals might struggle with their health. While it might just be normal health problems, I’ve seen it more manifested as a person’s mental state making them have health problems, i.e. a person with anxiety gets IBS. Whatever the mental disorder or issue is, it can cause issues to the individuals physical health. This could also manifest as a mental disorder as well since it deals with inner demons. I could also see this as a person who constantly has to help people and overexert themselves because they feel like they’re never doing enough. I could also see this as a person feeling insecure at work, perhaps they feel like they’re a bad worker, and that they’re not good enough to be there.

♠️ 7H/Libra: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 7H or in Libra might regard relationships, partnerships/marriage, and enemies. These individuals may have issues with their relationships, and it doesn’t have to be just romantic relationships. They could struggle with how they maintain relationships with others; there could be a lot of arguments and/or they might struggle to upkeep the relationship. They also might have a hard time being vulnerable to others which can hinder a relationship development. These individuals can also struggle with romantic partnerships- they might find themselves dealing with toxic and/or abusive partners. Relationships in general for them can just bring them a lot of pain and trauma. The individual could also struggle with enemies as part of their inner demons as it can bring them strain. This can also be a person who’s their own worst enemy. 

♠️ 8H/Scorpio: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 8H or in Scorpio might regard sex, intimacy and vulnerability. These individuals may have issues regarding sex. In extreme cases this can manifest as sexual harassment, abuse, or assault. In less extreme cases they might have a hard time with sex because they have a hard time being that vulnerable to another person. Or this can manifest as someone who has sex a lot because they seek intimacy. These individuals regardless tend to struggle with intimacy and allowing themselves to be vulnerable to others. They tend to be more closed off around others and it takes a long time for them to open up. They enjoy their privacy and being “the lone wolf” however this can make them quite lonely because they feel that no one truly knows them. 

♠️ 9H/Sagittarius: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 9H or in Sagittarius might regard traveling, higher education, religion, and philosophy. These individuals may have issues in regards to traveling- perhaps they desire to travel but are confined by their circumstances. They also might have had something bad happened if they have traveled. They also might’ve had some trauma happen in college and/or is a big source of their mental anguish. I could also see this manifesting as religious trauma, especially in LGBT+ individuals. In more extreme cases this could indicate abuse by someone in the clergy. These individuals might struggle with being the victim of their own philosophy of life. Maybe their philosophy of life is just naturally pessimistic and this can cause them a great deal of pain. 

♠️ 10H/Capricorn: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 10H or in Capricorn might regard one’s career, reputation/public image, the father, and masculinity. These individuals tend to struggle with their career. They might feel that they’re not good enough for their career and might have a lot of anguish in deciding a career. Their career might also bring them a lot of anguish perhaps they work as a cop or a social worker and they come across a lot of really traumatizing scenarios. They also might struggle with their reputation/public image-perhaps people spread rumors about them a lot or people see them in a negative light, and this can cause them a lot of sadness. This can also be a daddy issues placement. This can also manifest as someone struggling with their masculinity or masculine side. If it’s a guy or a masculine presenting person he/they might not feel they’re being masculine enough. 

♠️ 11H/Aquarius: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 11H or in Aquarius might regard friendships, their sense of belonging, and their hopes & dreams. Individuals with this might struggle with friendships. Their friendships can bring them a lot of anguish- perhaps they tend to befriend toxic people or they just tend to have a hard time making friends at all. They also might have a lot of trauma regarding friends- perhaps something traumatic happened when they were with friends or their friends caused their trauma. In extreme circumstances this can manifest as a friend causing the person abuse. This person also might not feel like they belong anywhere. No matter what they do they feel like an outcast. They also might have big hopes and dreams and they feel like they can’t accomplish them. They might also have unrealistic hopes and dreams and this can crash and burn. 

♠️ 12H/Pisces: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 12H or in Pisces might regard spirituality, death, and one’s hidden self. Individuals with this may have a fear of death. They also might’ve been traumatized by the death of someone important to them, and they haven’t been the same. They also might have hidden parts of themselves that they resent and don’t like to show to people. These parts of themselves can cause them strain. They also might struggle with spirituality as well, they might not feel that they’re spiritual enough or they might feel lost spiritually. They might not have anything to really believe in, and they just feel lost. 

#astrology #astrology notes #astrology tumblr #asteroid astrology #asteroid leviathan #8813 #astroworld #astrology world #astro #astro notes #astro tumblr #asteroid #asteroid observations #astrology tidbits #asteroid leviathan 8813 #astro observations #astrology observations #1h #2h #3h #4h #5h #6h #7h #8h #9h #10h #11h #12h #aries

[onp4012]

Pick a Card: What’s The Future Of This Connection?

Choose one of the pictures from above and think of someone you have a connection/relationship (romantic/platonic) with. We’ll get to see where you’re headed.

feel free to suggest PAC ideas in the inbox!

please like and reblog

masterlist

Pile 1

World, 5W, Empress, 3S, Judgement, Strength

This pile gave me the vibes of a pretty much at distance connection. Perhaps you and your person don’t get to see each other too much or it could be an emotional block we are talking about. Either way, things look pretty tensionated between the two of you. It’s like someone’s pulling a string without knowing where it takes them or what it’s there for. Before pulling the cards I tried to get as much information through my intuition as possible and I kept seeing the 3 of swords which is funny because the 3 of swords just explained the “distance”. I feel like you two carried an argument and it ended up badly, this could be someone you were really attached to and perhaps they did you very wrong. There seems to be something here about a house, not sure what, but anyway. Some of you might have financial issues because of your person. I feel like you’re asking if they care about you or if they regret doing those things to you. Just stop asking yourself that.

You’re in denial and I feel like you should just leave this connection, but because those cards show your connection in the future, I feel like you won’t leave this connection. There’s someone very manipulative pulling the strings and they won’t give up without a fight. My personal advice is that you should open your eyes and see this person for who they are and act rational. Ain’t no way this connection will be your happily ever after. This is a karmic partner and you need to fulfill this karma by detaching yourself from them. Just leave them. I kept hearing “this is my battle”. I feel like you might be in the “Devil” period, not sure where to jump or stay. Hope you find your clarity soon.

Words-> stress, divorce, mistrust, disgust, “Just leave already!”, “I need time for myself!”, house, paranoia, unsure, heartbreak, cheating, “No way!”

—————————————————

Pile 2

7C, 10C, Devil, Sun, Emperor, 4C

Here I got quite a few messages. It seems to me that this connection isn’t unhealthy or abusive, it’s pretty friendly. You could be good friends with each other haha. Some of you just got a new car or you just got your drivers license. I feel like you had some minor misunderstandings you’re worrying about but it’s alright, because your person is open to communicating. You could speak your mind and open yourself up to them because they intend no harm towards you. If this is a romantic interest, I don’t feel the romance in it, but I do feel this platonic caring energy coming from both sides. You might feel as if you’re siblings or God knows what. For some of you, this could be a best friend or someone you feel very connected to. The future looks bright and friendly. I don’t see romance, but I see partnership and platonic love. You are young, so enjoy yourselves.

The energy surrounding this pile is adorable and full of love. This connection looks bright and unforgettable. I don’t see any conflict and for some of you, this person could be someone you might marry one day if you’re willing to (I know I said it doesn’t seem romantic, but for some of you, it could be later in life). It feel to me that there won’t be any dirty thoughts about the other one, but rather very innocent feelings. It gives me the 6 of cups vibes. Everything in this piles seems to be based on pure emotions and mutual love feelings. This is so sweet I can’t—

Words->car, “maybe we can communicate more?”, “I’m opening up”, smile, driver, “of course”, “watch your grades”, friendship, trust, no romance, gasoline, 18 years old, understanding, no conflicts

—————————————————

Pile 3

8C, 3C, 8W, 2S, 9C, WOF

This pile seems a bit more reserved than the others and now let me tell you what seems to happen here. Person A is afraid of person B’s rejection and person B is afraid of person A’s rejection. This seems to be the deal. Both parties are a bit conflicted on this connection so they pretend that they are sitting on stable ground, meanwhile they are both very unstable. The connection itself isn’t toxic or something like that, but damn, those two damn people really like overthinking. There seems to be pretty much dishonesty between the two of you but I don’t feel like you are lying to each other or shit like that, it rather feels as if—you don’t want to be honest to protect yourselves. Some of you might be depressive or your person might be depressive. The one with depression is really stressed out on this and they can’t sleep well.

They’re obsessively thinking about the other one. Look, the feelings are mutual and this can get very far and very beautiful, but I feel that, right now, it’s not the perfect time for it. There are things which need to be left behind. This is the type of connection where you will need to begin a new chapter. Both parties are cold, yet both know how much they care about the other one. This is “right person wrong time”. This connection will end for a while and then it will start over, but this time, things will be different. You have to let time do it’s work. This is all about divine timing.

Words->Rachmaninoff, confusion, “what am I to you?”, “are you ready?”, contemplating, analysis, not honest, depression, “I can’t sleep because of you”, ink, writer, winter, “should I leave?”, “no”

—————————————————

Pile 4

Moon, 5P, KOS, Empress, 10S, 2C

This pile is very very interesting, because not only that these two people really support each other and they are very loving towards each other, but they also have a very mutual understanding and a soulmate connection as well. I get that for many of you who are in happy relationships, this person is THE ONE for you and I see a lot of potential for this connection. I see so many beautiful things in this pile, it’s strange. The feelings here are very sure and very deep rooted, it’s like you two are best friends. If you don’t relate to this, then maybe this isn’t your pile or you’re not aware of this (which isn’t quite the case for many of you). If this person makes you extremely happy, then expect them to want to marry you.

The masculine energy takes a very protective role in this connection and it’s very sweet coming from their part. I feel like the feminine faced quite a lot before meeting their masculine and it pretty much changed their lives. It’s funny how I can smell some fresh baked cake. For some of you, the future seems to hold a wedding. Marriage comes here very strongly haha. You will go through thick and thin with this person and the psychic connection is crazy. It’s like you can communicate through telepathy with this person. The feminine will feel this connection more than the masculine. The masculine will be great support for the feminine.

Words->marriage, wedding, “You’re my soulmate 🤍”, lucky, love, “I am so proud of you!”, happiness, smiling, sweet perfume, “alone with you”, best friend

—————————————————

Pile 5

5P, Magician, 9C, Hermit, 7C, QOC

This pile doesn’t show any major changes in your connection with this person. There seems to be just a casual friendship between the two of you. You don’t have to worry if things don’t go as you plan. This person won’t be a partner in the future and you probably already know it. I see genuine friendship. I don’t see best friends energy, but I see quite some trust and some feelings of protectiveness over the other one. You won’t talk as much in the future, but that’s alright, because you will finally be over them. Maybe you have feelings for them now, but something about them will make you put them in friendzone and I feel like this will be the best option you will have haha. You’ll have your rest after some months of asking yourself if this is the one or if this connection is worth it. I see a nice trip you might organize together at some point, maybe hang out with some friends. The energy feels quite new, so you don’t know this person so well, yet. It’s alright, you will.

You should be true to yourself and listen to your heart. Your decision will be made after a period of introspection in which you’ll question everything. Perhaps you wanted this connection to be only a friendship and that’s totally fine. There’s not much to be said to be honest. The connection looks very good overall. It won’t be a priority in the future because you’ll be meeting someone else, who could be a soulmate or something like that. You’re very good at manifesting, so keep on high hopes because they will soon turn to reality.

Words-> Chopin, calm, relaxed, summer, fun, open, kind, friendly, more open, “You know, I can sing too!”, nice, bubble, green, no worries, no tears

—————————————————

#Spotify #tarot #tarot community #pac #pick a card #tarot cards #onenormalperson4012 #pick a picture #astrology #spotify #romania #tarot advice #tarot pick a card #tarot free reading #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #future spouse #witch #observations #tarot deck #tarot pac #aspects astrology #soundcloud #capricorn mars #lilith

[the-scandalorian]

What about a mix of two prompts?

“i've never been kissed before so you volunteer but i decline, we're best friends and it would be weird, but a couple hours later i lay awake in my bed and i can't stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you and suddenly i regret what i said”

and

“two characters look at each other. silence. then. BOOM BANG LIPS CRASHING CAN'T RESIST YOU ANYMORE BAM BOOM THERE'S A WALL LET'S PIN YOU AGAINST IT”

of Din Drjarin/f!reader?

Thank you so much for the prompt!! I love this combination so much! Hope you enjoy this 💖 And for the others who made requests, they're in the works!

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Reader Rating: M Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: alcohol consumption, spice

You and Mando were sitting in your usual evening position—back-to-back in the middle of the hull—so he could lift his helmet just enough to eat. You’d finished dinner a while ago, and now you were passing a flask of whiskey back and forth over your shoulders. The last few hunts had been long and hard, but the carbonite chamber was now at capacity, so you were taking a night off before returning to Nevarro.

As the flask got lighter and the sky visible through the open ramp faded from a dusky twilight to a velvety black, you inched closer together until you were fully leaned against one another. He was fairly comfortable as a backrest considering the amount of metal and weaponry strapped to his body.

Your conversation had been skirting dangerous territory for a while now—a place you’d been working towards for months if you were being honest. You weren’t supposed to be doing this though: the easy friendship, the light teasing, and the casual intimacy of spending weeks together in a confined space were supposed to stop there... not progress into anything more. You were hunting partners—that was it.

Yet, here you were telling him about your first kiss.

“What about you, Mando? I mean... is kissing even allowed for Mandalorians?”

You reached back to pass him the flask. He took a pull and then—in his unmodulated voice, which was always slightly distracting—said, "Mandalorians touch the foreheads of their helmets together... it's called a Keldabe kiss.”

“That’s very sweet and all, but what about actual kissing? Is that allowed? Or are you only allowed to bonk your metal heads together?”

He scoffed and tilted his helmet back to lightly knock against the back of your head. You laughed and knocked him back.

(That only counts as a Mandalorian kiss if you’re facing each other... right?)

“So?”

“Yes, it’s allowed. If you find someone you trust, there are options... blindfolds, dark rooms... eventually, marriage.”

You ignored the way your heart dropped a little more at each of those options. Instead, you pressed him again: “Okay, so... what was your first kiss like?”

“I don’t have a good story like you do.”

You nudged his side with your elbow. “Oh come on, just tell me! I told you mine, so you have to tell me yours. That’s how the game works.”

You heard him exhale and take another long pull from the flask. He passed it back to you over his shoulder. “Isn’t it my turn to ask a question though?”

You scrunched your eyebrows together. Honestly, you’d lost track of whose turn it was at this point, but he’d answered every other random question you’d thrown at him, even the intrusive one about the craziest places he’d had sex. He’d even thrown you some bold curveballs. But he didn’t want to tell you about his first kiss?

It hit you all at once.

“You’ve never kissed anyone.” You blurted the thought before remembering to pass it through your usual verbal filter.

“No, I haven’t,” he confirmed.

“Oh,” was all you can think to say. You took a sip, and the whiskey burned slightly as it went down your throat. You reached back to hand it over again.

His gloved fingers brushed yours when he took it from you. “I never trusted anyone enough in the past.”

In the past.

Your thoughts raced as you tried to decide if that wording was intentional.

...he was sitting here, leaned against you, lifting his helmet in your presence, in the present…

That had to mean something.

You couldn’t help but ask the question that seared through your mind, “Do you trust me?”

He let a pause stretch out between you, laden with the implication of your question, and shifted slightly against your back. “Yes.”

Your heart rate kicked up. There was so much potential in that yes that you couldn’t help but push forward.

“I would kiss you.”

It came out sounding like an offer, but you really meant it as a want. You wanted to kiss him. You’d held that truth for a while now—months probably—keeping it close to your chest, knowing that it would likely live there forever. There was no room for attachment in your utilitarian partnership, or in his strict Creed and your nomadic existence. Kissing him was an unrealistic daydream, a passing thought you regularly ignored.

Though... it was harder to ignore when he let his gloved hand linger on your waist, or threw himself into the line of fire to protect you, or wordlessly accepted joint commissions from Karga as if your partnership was implicit. He’d been doing all those things more and more often.

And now, your carefully guarded truth was lingering out there, floating freely between you. You started to panic as the silence stretched on and scrambled to snatch it back: “I mean... if you want to know what it’s like.”

You immediately regretted adding that qualification. That wasn’t why you said it.

Another strained moment of silence passed.

“It wouldn’t make for a very good story,” he finally replied. He was trying to make light of the weird situation, but it came out flat in his modulated voice. He was obviously uncomfortable... and uninterested.

You were so incredibly grateful that he couldn’t see your face at that moment. You forced out an unconvincing laugh and said: “Right.”

The chirping of the crickets outside suddenly seemed deafening in the fraught silence that settled between you. You felt him adjust against your back once more. The flask appeared in your periphery, and you grabbed it quickly, taking a long pull.

Fuck.

You could tell that you had just taken the quiet, tenuous potential of your friendship and obliterated it with one awkward sentence.

“I’m going to get some sleep,” he said, pushing himself to his feet behind you.

You nodded vaguely and stayed where you were, staring out into the starry night, until you heard the mechanical click of his bunk closing behind him.

It was never going to happen—you’d always known that. It had never been a real possibility. And yet, in some shadowy corner of your traitorous heart, the tiniest bit of hope had taken root, cultivated by months of lingering touches and endless time spent together in hyperspace. And it hurt to have that fledgling hope completely crushed.

Eventually, you closed the ramp and plopped down on the spare cot against the wall. You tossed and turned for a long time, wondering if Mando would even want to partner with you for jobs any more. Probably not.

You froze when you heard his bunk slide open and the sound of his feet hitting the floor. You expected to hear him walk to the refresher, but when you didn’t hear his footsteps, you propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him.

He was facing you, backlit by the light of his open bunk. His silhouette was different than usual—with a jolt, you realized that he was completely unarmored aside from his helmet. The hands that were twitching and clenching by his sides were bare. You sat up and swung your legs over the side of the cot, waiting for him to do something... anything. The silence between you wasn’t strained now; it was charged, electric, expectant.

He reached back and pressed a button on the wall behind him and his bunk slid shut, bathing the space in complete darkness. You heard him take two steps toward you, then stop. He was waiting for you in the middle of the hull, wordlessly asking you to meet him halfway.

So you did.

You weren’t sure what to do once you were standing a foot in front of his dark outline. You waited for a moment, then you both stepped towards each other at the same time, his hands—you faintly registered that you were feeling his skin on yours for the first time—finding your arms in the darkness. You pressed one palm to the soft fabric covering his chest, tilted your face up... and waited.

He needed to be the one who took that final step.

After he released a shaky exhale through the modulator, his right hand left your bicep to reach up and grip the lip of his helmet. Your stomach swooped in anticipation when you heard the pneumatic release, and you watched the dark shape being lifted from his head.

You could feel the beating of his heart under your fingertips as he lowered his hand to his side, helmet grasped in his fingers. He leaned down, and you couldn’t help but lean up to meet him. Your lips connected sloppily in the dark, off-center and a little harder than you meant, but you corrected yourselves quickly. You thought about how soft his lips were as you moved yours against his; you smiled against his mouth when you noted the tickle of his mustache, and he exhaled against you when you reached up to map out the rest of his face with your hands: scratchy stubble along his jawline, a sharp nose, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, soft hair feathered across his forehead.

He let out a satisfied moan and gripped you a little tighter when you parted your lips to run your tongue experimentally along his pouting bottom lip. He responded in kind, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss, his tongue tentatively working its way into your mouth. A muffled moan slipped from your own lips, and you slid one hand under the hem of his shirt, dragging your palm up the rippling muscles of his back.

Mando seemed to be emboldened by your exploration; his helmet clanged against the floor when he let it fall, and both his hands were suddenly roaming over your body, large palms cupping your breasts through your shirt. In an instant, a kiss that had started out as uncertain and eager was suddenly hot and desperate. He backed you toward the ladder with decisive steps until you were pinned between it and his broad chest. His hands worked their way down your back, over the swell of your ass, until he was gripping the backs of your thighs. You linked your hands behind his neck, so he could hoist your legs up and around his middle.

He dipped his head into the crook of your neck, and his lips found your skin. He trailed kisses up, until he paused with his mouth by your ear.

“It was worth the wait.”

***

everything taglist: @chattychell @fisforfulcrum @meanperegrine @over300books @rebelpitstop @spideysimpossiblegirl @tacticalsparkles @tobealostwanderer @trashbuns @tuskens-mando

#my writing #requests #asks #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin reader insert #mando fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian reader insert #din djarin x you #din djarin x female reader #din djarin x f!reader #mando x you #mando x female reader #mando x f!reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x female reader #the mandalorian x f!reader

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 140: I Need You

"Alright, Potter," Robards said, "I need you to finish filling out these papers, then I need you to finish that proposal we're sending to the minister about increasing the DMLE's budget for next year."

"Right," Harry said, taking a fortifying breath.

"Don't forget how important it is that we get that extra funding," he continued. "It could be the difference between life or death for some of our aurors."

"Yes," Harry affirmed. "I'll have it ready. I'll take it to Kingsley myself this afternoon."

Robards looked at him curiously, "This afternoon?"

"We've got a meeting about the upcoming charity season," he added. "trying to decide which events I'm needed to speak at."

"Right. Good," Robards said, and Harry could see the wheels in his mind turning already as he thought about the leverage this could conceivably give Harry.

Before he could say anything more or ask Harry to do something else that he wasn't entirely comfortable with, Harry fled, waving to Robards as he made a beeline to his office. He closed the door as quickly as he could, separating himself from the pressure waiting just outside his door.

"Rough start to the day?" Draco queried lightly.

Harry turned and glared at him, "I hate budgeting time! I hate charity season! I hate that I can't even make it to my desk in the morning before I'm accosted by these-" he broke off, searching for the right word, "these vultures!"

"Well, if it helps I brought you a pumpkin latte," Draco offered, pointing to the to-go cup on Harry's desk.

"That does help a little," he confessed as he made his way over to his desk and dropped his bag on the floor.

(Read more below the cut)

"So I'm guessing that we'll not be heading out on an active duty assignment today," Draco said with a sigh.

Harry winced and rubbed the back of his neck, "Probably not."

"Well. Which part should I help with first?" Draco asked.

He shook his head, "You don't have to-"

"What else should I do? Just sit at my desk all day and watch you?"

Huffing a defeated sigh, Harry held out the beginnings of the budget proposal he'd been writing, "Could you work on the budget, then?"

Draco took it from him, "Good choice," he said. "You know, our partnership really did end up working out well," he mused. "All of my father's political expertise has come in handy after all."

And Harry didn't say anything, but that was probably one of the most disheartening things he'd heard all day. Draco had joined the aurors to avoid becoming like he father and here he was, doing exactly what his father would have done, thanks to Harry.

If he hadn't felt like crap about himself before, he certainly did now.

---------------------

It was a long day (most days were, if Harry was being honest) and after leaving a board meeting with Kingsley and a handful of other Ministry officials Harry trudged back to his office because he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it any further.

He collapsed into his chair and put his head down on his desk and tried to not think of all of the things he'd been asked to do, of all of ways he was needed.

"Hey," Draco said, entering the office behind him and Harry startled.

"What are you still doing here?" Harry asked, sitting up to look at the other man.

Draco shrugged, "I just had a few things to finish up," he said. It was a lie and they both knew it. "Wondered if you wanted to come to mine for dinner?"

Without letting himself think about whether it was an imposition or not, Harry nodded.

The other man smiled at him, "Let's go then. Everything else can wait until tomorrow."

"Oh," Harry said, frowning at the papers on his desk and thinking that he really ought to make himself a list of the things he'd agreed to at the very least, "I should just-"

"It can wait until tomorrow," Draco repeated, somehow firm but gentle all at once, grounding him in the way that no one else seemed able to these days.

He nodded once and they made their way toward the floo. It was late enough that the lights had all been dimmed and only the enchanted brooms and dusters were out, tidying from the day.

Harry followed Draco through the fireplace into his kitchen and collapsed into the chair at the kitchen table.

"I hate charity season," Harry groaned as Draco passed him a beer, the kind that Harry knew he didn't even like but got because Harry was at his house so often.

"Let's not talk about work," Draco said, as he headed toward his door just as the door bell rang, "Our Indian food is here, anyway," he added with a smirk since he knew that Harry could never work out how Draco always knew when the food was going to arrive.

When he got back to the kitchen, carrying bags that had Harry's mouth watering, Harry asked, "What would you like to talk about, if not work?"

"Literally anything," Draco said, handing him a container of rice and the chicken vindaloo.

He frowned as he dipped his food, trying to think of anything that he could talk about that wasn't related to work.

"You work too much," Draco informed him.

"You work as much as I do," Harry protested.

The other man snorted, "Only because if I didn't, you'd never leave."

"Great," Harry said, throwing his hands up in the air. "Let's just add one more thing that I am responsible for that I can proceed to fail at living up to," he snapped.

Draco's eyebrows rose in surprise as he froze with his fork midway to his mouth.

"Sorry," Harry said, shaking his head and trying to clear it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Harry," Draco said softly, laying a hand on Harry's arm to draw his attention outward.

"What?"

"Relax," he said. "I don't need you."

Harry nodded, tears stinging the back of his eyes, "No, I know-"

"I do want you," he continued. "I want to be your partner, I want to be your friend. I'd want to be more if that was something you were interested in. But I don't need you."

Harry swallowed, a bit at a loss. He'd wondered (hoped) that Draco might feel the same way he did but he wasn't sure what to say.

"The pressure you're under," Draco said with a little shake of the head, "It's a lot, Harry. And I need you to know that no matter what, I'm here for you. I will always support you, I will always do my best to help you, and I will always tell you to take a break and take care of yourself," he said. "Or I'll insist that you let me take care of you."

"You shouldn't have to take care of me," he protested.

"I don't have to, I want to," he replied. "It's a small, but important distinction," he added with a little smile.

Harry looked down at his food.

Draco let him think, let him mull it over while they ate and listened to the quiet music drifting through the wireless.

Eventually, Harry said, "I think I want that, too," he swallowed. "The more than just friendship part."

The other man stayed silent, letting Harry speak and process.

"But I can't just jump into another commitment right now," he said. "Being a boyfriend seems like a lot of work, and I don't think-"

Draco's hand covered his and Harry looked up to see that Draco's eyes were on him, soft and understanding. "It's okay," he repeated. "If you just want to keep things the same as they are now, that's okay. If you want to spend Fridays cuddling on the sofa in front of the telly, that's okay. If you want to have someone to take to events with you, or if you want to take a step back," he shrugged. "It's all fine, Harry. I've loved you for a decade at this point, nothing's going to change."

A pleasant tingle of surprise drifted up his spine. "If I wanted to kiss you?" Harry asked before he could think better of it.

The corner of Draco's mouth curled at the corner, "I'd let you."

He leaned across the edge of the table and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Draco's mouth where his smile had blossomed.

"Can we take this slow?" Harry asked, still only inches from Draco.

Draco nodded, "Slow as you like. All you have to do is tell me what you want."

"Can we cuddle after dinner?"

He smiled, "I'd like that very much."

"Would you-" Harry started before breaking off and pulling back slightly so he could search Draco's face.

"Tell me," Draco encouraged.

"Would you stroke my hair?" he asked quickly before his courage could desert him. Draco had done that once, when they were very drunk and Harry still let himself go back to that place in his mind when he was feeling tired or upset.

Draco smiled at him, "Yes," he replied immediately. "Yeah, I would like that very much, too."

"And if that's all I'm ready for?" Harry asked.

"Then that's what we'll do," Draco replied with a little shrug like he really didn't mind. "Let me," he whispered, thumb brushing over the back of Harry's hand. "Let me love you in any way you feel ready right now."

He took a deep breath. It was surprisingly terrifying, even letting down his guard that much, allowing even that tiny amount of vulnerability. "Okay," he finally said.

"Yeah?" Draco asked, eyes skimming over Harry's face, searching for any sign of unease.

"Yeah," Harry repeated, smiling at him.

-----------------

After dinner the moved into the living room and Draco put on a movie. They just sat next to each other for a while, Harry's shoulder pressed against Draco's, his right thigh pushed up against Draco's left.

After about half an hour, Harry finally broke the silence. "Can you-?" Harry started before trailing off.

Draco looked over at him and gave him a little nod, putting a cushion on his lap so Harry could lay his head down. And then he started playing with Harry's hair, gently rubbing his scalp, combing his fingers through Harry's curls.

"Thank you," Harry murmured after a little while, feeling calm and a bit sleepy for the first time in ages.

"Anytime," Draco replied as he continued to toy with Harry's hair.

"I think I'm going to fall asleep," Harry mumbled.

Draco just kept stroking his hair. "Good," he murmured. "Sweet dreams."

And as Harry drifted off, he found that his dreams were in fact very sweet.

--------------------

Day 139: Expectations | Day 141: What? Why? How? When?

#100 drarry drabbles in 100 days #drarry #fluff #friends to lovers #developing relationship #auror partners #love #soft #gentle #supportive Draco #I just really need someone to stroke my hair right now

[silkgonerough]

💒 Favorite Synastry Placements🍥💕

all based off of my own experiences/observations!

♡ hope you guys like it ♡

♡ moon in the 11th house:amazing! I hadn’t given this placement much thought in the beginning but it’s honestly the best feeling to have with someone. When I read about it I immediately looked up the house synastry between me and my childhood friend who I’ve known since I was born and viola his moon is in my 11th house! Idk how I knew but the energy we have is so comfortable and he’s someone where we can go a year without talking and then see eachother and it would feel like not even a day had passed. It’s a very light, happy, and authentic feeling when your around one another and just very natural. It’s like the other person knows everything about you and instead of feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable you feel accepted and welcomed. Great for friendships or relationships ♡

♡ moon conjunct venus: have this with my best friend :) everytime we get drunk we always end up confessing our love for eachother over text and it’s actually super funny. Very motherly relationship if that makes sense I think of her like my mom bc she always takes care of me! We can be do literally nothing and we’d still have a great time. This placement is great for just loving each others company ♡

♡ sun in the 5th house: super fun to have with anyone romantically or platonically! You two will always know how to make eachother laugh and are the life of the party when together :) the sun person loves being around the 5th house person a lot and may become extra needy for their attention once they realize how good they feel around them! The 5th house person is glad to give all their attention to the sun anyways tho ♡

♡ venus conjunct venus: underrated placement! your ways of showing love are very similar so you both feel comfortable and natural in giving eachother affection.You understand what the other person not only wants but needs without having to say anything. May be someone who enjoys a lot of the same music and art you like as well! Very aesthetically pleasing and loving relationship/friendship. Having this placement can smooth over a lot of hard saturn placements by making it easier for individuals to express their love for eachother.Very wholesome! ♡

♡ mercury in the 5th house: people I have this placement with make me laugh so hard. words are very reassuring and people who have mercury in your 5th know how to brighten up your mood with a couple of jokes! since this is in the house of leo which rules creativity and pleasure you may find yourself talking about a lot of crazy memories and things you’ve done with one another right off the bat. The mercury lights up the house person with their words ♡

♡ moon conjunct/trine jupiter: very very soft and supportive placement! you may feel unusually lucky when the two of you together and it’s because of how much positive energy you exude when together. Good karma tends to just follow you around when your with someone who shares this aspect with you. The moon person really enjoys being with the Jupiter person they admire their confidence and knowledge. The mood between both of you is always joyous and happy with a deep sense of respect for the other. You may exceptions for this person and their differences that you wouldn’t for anyone else! This aspect also helps to smooth out any repressing/negative aspects between you two ♡

♡ venus square mars: so this is definitely not for everyone but I’ve always found myself so attracted to people’s who’s venus’ square my mars vice versa possibly even more than the conjunct... idk why but I think the possibility of growth and change attracts me to them a lot since my love style is fixed (scorpio) I’m attracted to Leo and Aquarius since they’re love styles differ greatly than mine but they stay stable and consistent in how they show that love which is something I appreciate ♡

♡ mars in the 1st house: love the attraction and tension that comes with this aspect! People whose mars are in my first house are always the hottest in my eyes. Besides the sexual aspect the Mars person pushes the house person to take action and do things that may not normally be in their comfort zone. I like relationships/friendships that help me to grow so personally I don’t get annoyed at Mars influence when in this house ♡

♡ moon trine moon: honestly surprised I don’t see this one brought up more! If you share this someone you may probably take it for granted from how natural your connection is. Characterized by emotional harmony and balance this aspect is truely a blessing to see in any circumstance with another person. Being able to be emotionally open and expressive is very important to me with other people so my Pisces moon loves this aspect ♡

♡ venus in the 7th house: another placement that I have with my best friend! I’ve noticed that with most people I have this aspect with our friendships were very loving and physically intimate from the beginning! It didn’t take us very long to become that comfortable with one another and that element still hasn’t changed no matter how long I go without seeing them. ♡

♡ sun/mercury conjunct mercury: I feel like conversation and being able to communicate is a rlly important aspect in any partnership and this one of those aspects where you just kinda know what the other persons thinking without having to say anything. The word jinx may come up a lot too as you get closer with the other person bc your thought processes start to become synced up! I personally rlly like this aspect since it can bring two people very close together through simple conversations ♡

♡ sun in the 9th house: another underrated aspect! I may just love this because I’m a Sagittarius so this feels very comfortable to be in but this is honestly just so fun to have with someone. Lots of adventuring and exploring together both physically and mentally! This is also the type of relationship that helps both partners grow through simply learning about one another. Everything feels larger than life and suddenly you don’t feel that alone anymore when your with eachother ♡

#astrology #natal aspects #astro culture #synastry #astrology observations #natal astrology #astrology rant #planets in the houses #astrology aspects

[redrobin-detective]

*crawls through you bedroom window* actually sorry I’m not done talking about the tragic, complicated clusterfuck which is Ben and Rook’s friendship/partnership. Because of how it was set up and their own personalities at the time, it was doomed to fail. I mentioned previously how neither got to know/understand the other and I retract that because it’s not entirely true. They did get to bond in a way that you almost have to when you’re in life or death situations together but they never talked about it and so each went on thinking they weren’t important to the other.

The whole nature of their partnership reeks of impermanence. Max obviously knew ahead of time that Gwen and Kevin were leaving for college and had time to prepare. Ben being on his own, reckless and stupid, was not an option. I wonder how many candidates they went through before they got to Rook. They chose someone who excelled at Plumber training, who knew the rules Ben never bothered to learn backwards and forwards. Someone who would balance out Ben and keep him reigned in. Someone who was obviously destined for higher management so why not give him the best field training possible? Rook, if not Ben, was certainly aware that it was a temporary thing. Ben was 16 going on 17, soon he wouldn’t need a partner anymore; this was the last attempt at training wheels. I imagine the partnership dissolved not long after Omniverse ends, when Rook becomes Magister and probably has new training and responsibilities. Ben, almost an adult by human standards and hopefully positively molded by Rook’s influence, is deemed ready to be on his own. 

So imagine you’re Rook, you’re a newly graduated Plumber who was ready to take on the universe. You’re informed you’re heading to Earth and you will be working one on one with your idol, the Ben 10, the one who inspired you to leave your traditional, isolated homeworld. You meet your hero and while he’s got the watch and the quips, he’s also a child in a culture you don’t understand. You’re disappointed that your hero isn’t as perfect as rumor and propaganda told you. You’re angry and frustrated and you don’t bother to hide it, Ben almost seems to retaliate by being more obnoxious. The more time you spend with Ben, you realize there’s a method to his madness. He wins more battles than he loses, what Rook at first took to be Ben’s flaws turn out to also be his strengths. Seeing Ben in action snarling and laughing in the face of certain destruction, he realizes that Ben is, at the same time, a stupid, idiot kid who barely has an idea of what he’s doing but also twice the hero Rook thought he was. Suddenly Ben 10 isn’t just a poster in his room or a radio show to listen to in the dark, he is a real person and that makes him even more worthy of admiration.

And Rook does admire him, quietly. Ben keeps up his walls and Rook lets him because who is he to try and really befriend Ben 10? Rook is just one of billions of Plumbers in the universe, Ben is the universe’s savior. I bet before Rook ever stepped foot on Earth it was drilled into him that Ben Tennyson was to be protected at all costs, that Rook’s life was nothing compared to Ben’s. Rook already comes from a very restrained and private culture, he won’t initiate anything beyond what is needed for to the mission and to save his partner. It is enough for him to be able to work alongside his hero (even if said hero is thoughtless and ridiculous and has no sense of self preservation and he drives Rook insane but by gum does he respect the hell out of Ben when he isn’t contemplating murdering him). When the time ultimately comes for Rook to depart, he will be sad but not mention it. Because he imagines he is only a blip on Ben’s radar, a temporary partner before Ben goes onto bigger and better things. He never tells Ben that his loyalty wasn’t to the Plumbers, to Ben 10 but to the scrawny, sleep deprived kid who always remembered Rook’s favorite smoothie flavor. 

Now imagine you’re Ben. You’ve saved the universe at the cost of your privacy, chance for a normal life, general sense of safety and sanity. You’re quickly losing track of what part is you and what part is the myth about you. Two of your three major support systems abandon you without notice. Over the years of AF/UAF, Gwen and Kevin saw all your brokenness, fears, vulnerabilities, watched you go from dumb kid to hero. You didn’t have to tell them these things, they saw them happen and just knew. And now they’re gone and you only have your grandpa who you love but is also sorta of your boss now. He tells you you’re being assigned a new partner, someone chosen without your consent, someone you’re expected to trust your life and secrets with. Fine, this Rook fellow will do. He can watch your back but he’s not having any pieces of your broken heart. 

You fight, both bad guys and each other. The two of you have such opposite styles that you clash. He may have training and discipline but you have experience and incredible power. You fumble and bicker and somewhere through it all find an understanding. Suddenly the rumble of his voice is familiar as Kevin’s once was, his logical approaches and teasing barbs slot in where Gwen’s used to be. It’s not bad, you tell yourself. You know this isn’t forever, that it’s not real, but it’s not bad. Because you know first and foremost that Rook is a Plumber and you are not. You also know he is a fan and you are acutely aware how short you fall from the perfect hero ideal. Ben laughs, clinging harder to the arrogant hero façade and pretends Rook’s disappointment doesn’t crush him. If someone who’s forced to work with him doesn’t like Ben, then how can he be the beloved savior everyone tells him he is even though he doesn’t quite know how he got there? He’s just a kid doing his best and soon buries himself in his perceived role.

Time passes, Ben and Rook have been through so much. Against your will, he’s seen some of your broken parts. He sees past your cracks, sees your guilt and grief and bone deep fear. But he doesn’t seem upset, even more disappointed by the failure hero. He is kind, friendly, understanding. Not enough that Ben feels comfortable to open up but he relaxes, just a bit. Rook isn’t just a forced upon partner, he’s now a friend. But he knows Rook is only here because he was ordered, he feels Rook’s annoyance with him and believes his kindness is only out of duty. It’s fine, he’s used to everyone around him bleeding him dry of everything he has and then some. Just another part of being a hero. He’s not Kevin or Gwen but he is Rook and he is grown on you because Ben is always an open soul, one who wants to receive some love he gives so freely. You finally feel steady, like you can stop pretending so much and try and find some peace and happiness in your dangerous, chaotic life.

Suddenly so fast, you’ve saved the universe once more and Rook is moving on. It’s like Gwen and Kevin leaving all over again. Rook himself seems excited to move up the ranks, to get more tassles on his uniform. He is a soldier at heart, you are not even if you play the part of one. You are a child only you’re not anymore, while you were busy saving everyone again and again your childhood was stolen from you. Now on the edge of adulthood, you’re told it’s time to take responsibility. You want to scream you’ve been doing that since you were 10 years old, that someone else can do  it for a change. You want to beg Rook to stay, to drag Gwen and Kevin home, to hide your loved ones away with you and not have to confront the big, bad universe alone. Instead, you do what you always do. You swallow all your fears, your wishes and hopes and shake his hand goodbye and wish him well. You don’t tell him you’ll miss him, neither does he. 

Rook and Ben part as the strangers they never stopped being even if both of them aches at the loss of the close proximity, of the friendship. Both are very much aware that the relationship was weak, transient, that it might have been something more if they gave it more attention. However, too many things were between them and both of them genuinely believed the other didn’t care as much. The rest of their lives they remain friendly, distant but polite. It’s not much different from when they fought side by side even if they wish it different.

#ben 10 #rook blonko #ben tennyson #this got long #also very emotional #I feel exhausted writing this #digging through those emotions #wow I want to cry for both of them but especially Ben #holy shit this kid really doesnt have anyone he can really rely on #someone who won't leave him or doesn't constantly demand things from him #the basis of all his relationship is doling bits of himself away #until its just him and the many masks he keeps up to convince everyone that its okay #when hes just screaming on the inside #god I bet when Rook leaves he just has a long overdue mental breakdown #you can't live with that level fo stress and pressure without snapping #losing rook who was barely a friend bc Ben refused to let himself get attached only he did and it hurts #but not as much as believing that rook saw him as another assignment a stepping stone to higher ranks #a hero he once idolized and reluctantly learned to put up with #bc Rook himself is too private and awkward to admit that he admired ben more after working him than he ever did as a kid #that seeing someone so small and so mortal doing what he does is just incredible #god the miscommunication physically hurts me #Im already lying down but like... I need to lie down