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#I'm still struggling through the after affects of that shit
kiwichaeng · 2 years
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When I was stuck in the other city and crying every day I watched Welcome To The Rock (vlogs by Jenn Colella backstage while doing Come From Away) every night and watched all her interviews and when I say that's the only thing that got me through those 3 days, I mean it.
She said something like "till then be kind to others, be kind to yourself" (or something like that) at the end of every vlog and that to me, who had probably just had a breakdown 10 minutes ago, meant everything.
Anyway, my point is that she single-handedly put a smile on my face after a downright shitty day and made me want to be a better person. We need more people like Jenn Colella in this world.
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wholoveseggs · 4 months
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Hey, happy new year! Love your Elijah fics. Maybe you could do one where he turns off his humanity and the reader gets him to turn it back on again. :)
Cold Truth
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{Masterlist}
You and Klaus are on a mission to turn Elijah's humanity switch back on. The only problem is that you are the reason he turned it off in the first place.
~♡♡ Thanks for the request @originals23 - this one hurt! ♡♡~
4.3k words - Warnings: no smut, but so much angst, dramatic as fuck, violence, kidnapping, Klaus being Klaus, slightly spicy right at the end.
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The air was thick with tension as you struggled in your restraints, glancing at Klaus as he drove down an empty street. He was humming to himself, looking very relaxed despite the fact that he was holding you hostage.
"I still don't understand what this has to do with me," you muttered, tugging on the cuffs that were binding your hands together. "We broke up, it's not a big deal," you added.
"Well, it seems to be a big deal to him," Klaus said, shooting you a knowing smirk. "And it's been affecting my life, so now it's a big deal to me."
You sighed and stared out the window, watching the scenery blur as you moved through the town. You didn't want to tell Klaus the details of your break up with Elijah, it was all too painful. But here you were, getting kidnapped by him, on your way to see Elijah, probably about to get murdered by the man you still loved. Great. 
"It won't work you know," you said, staring blankly out the windshield, feeling that little bit of hope in your chest die out. 
"I get that he doesn't have emotions anymore," you continued, "so he definitely doesn't care about you. Whatever little plan you have going, won't work." You sounded desperate to even your own ears, and you hated it, but at least Elijah's lack of feelings gave you an excuse not to be a complete mess when you were in his presence again. He wouldn't care, he was devoid of compassion and guilt. The thought filled your heart with an emptiness that spread to the rest of your body. You let the feeling encompass you, numbing yourself against the pain, because once this ordeal was over, you would be forced to finally accept that Elijah was really, truly, lost forever.
Klaus laughed and turned, shooting you a smirk. "I've done my fair share of terrible things," he began.
"But," he sighed and stopped laughing, "even I can see what a complete shit show this is. You broke up with him a week ago, and he flipped the switch immediately. This whole thing has been dramatic, even for my tastes."
"Oh please," you sneered, turning to glare at him. "You live for drama," you said, rolling your eyes.
Klaus snickered, shaking his head as if it were the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. "Yes, well, as fun as this has been, there's only so much of it I can take."
You huffed and sighed, slumping in your seat as the light turned green. You turned away from him and tried not to let your anxiety show.
"Look," Klaus began, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm going to be straight with you, love. Your break up with Elijah has been, inconvenient, to put it simply. He no longer cares about my well-being or the things I do. All he wants to do is feed, kill, drink and maim. I thought I would enjoy this side of him, but it turns out, the guy's a bloody asshole. And since you might have the ability to bring him out of this mess, it's in my best interest to try and help you."
You turned your head slowly, glaring at him with narrowed eyes. "You sure do have a way of showing it. Kidnapping is pretty terrible Klaus. Do you have any idea how scared I am right now? Not only have you kidnapped me, you are forcing me to confront my ex-boyfriend after I dumped him."
"I've done plenty to upset Elijah, but he's never flipped the switch over it. What exactly did you do to him?" Klaus demanded. He leaned closer to you, and his grip on the steering wheel tightened as he parked the car. "I'd suggest you start talking, sweetheart," he drawled, giving you a pointed look.
You bit your lip nervously, breaking under his intense gaze. Your shoulders dropped in defeat and you looked at your lap, chewing the inside of your cheek. You told him the truth, finally letting someone in on the secret you had kept from everyone.
"I told him that I didn't love him anymore, okay? I don't know," you trailed off, tears threatening to escape your eyes. "Look, I just, I needed to tell him something and that seemed easier than telling him the truth."
"So what's the truth?" Klaus asked gently. You couldn't bear to look him in the eye, so you stayed still and stayed quiet, trying to ignore the sound of blood rushing in your ears as you fought the urge to cry. After a few seconds, Klaus said your name softly, and when you looked up at him, there was genuine sympathy in his eyes.
You swallowed, trying to get ahold of yourself before you fell apart completely. "I want children, Klaus," you admitted. "And he can't give them to me. But it's okay, we broke up, and I'm fine." You were most definitely not fine, but that was beside the point. You finally confessed the truth, and felt a small bit of relief.
"Oh," he said. "Do you not want to adopt? Wouldn't surrogacy be an option? I can make a phone call and have a baby delivered to your door by tomorrow," he offered. You laughed, appreciating his attempts to make you feel better.
"No, Klaus. I'm sorry. I appreciate you trying, really I do," you said, giving him a sincere smile. "I want to have his child, and that is... well... impossible," you sighed.
There was a moment of silence, and you wondered what he was thinking. Klaus could be a lot of things, but you could tell he truly loved his siblings, no matter how much he claimed otherwise. His devotion was almost as intense as Elijah's and fear bubbled up in your stomach, knowing you were now in the crossfire of his affections for his older brother.
"You aren't still in love with him, are you?" Klaus asked. You felt your insides tremble at the mere mention of Elijah, but it wasn't enough to make your heart skip a beat or your head swirl. All you could feel was sorrow, because you knew how painful it would be to see him again. To be near him, but unable to touch him.
Klaus tilted his head, waiting for your answer. When he didn't get one, he asked again. "Answer the question, love," he said.
"Of course I still love him," you mumbled. "How could I not? I will always love him." You chuckled sadly, shaking your head and shrugging. 
"Good, that will make this easier," Klaus said cheerfully, not sure how to react as he began fiddling with the radio station.
"He's going to kill me Klaus," you said, your voice flat and emotionless. "You're dragging me to him, and he's going to torture me or compel me into doing something bad and then when he's finished, he's going to kill me."
"Yes, possibly," Klaus agreed. "However, you could also bring him back and thus make my life a bit easier."
"We can only hope," you sighed. Klaus started driving towards the docks and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to control the terror building within you.
"Klaus, where are we going?" you asked warily, looking around.
"Well, my dear brother isn't answering his phone, so I'm tracking it instead," he said, gritting his teeth as he continued driving.
"Can we please just leave him alone?" you begged, but he didn't seem to hear you.
"Please," you added. "I'm begging you, Klaus. Don't torture me like this, I'm not strong enough to lose him twice."
"I really don't care how you feel about this, darling," he said, reaching a hand up and patting your head, before returning it to the steering wheel. "But don't worry, I promise I won't let him kill you."
You would have responded, but Klaus took the last turn and parked in front of one of the ships on the docks. He removed the handcuffs, his eyes darting about your surroundings in paranoia as he grabbed your wrists and dragged you out of the car. You didn't put up a fight and let him pull you along, too frightened and confused to even think about struggling. This wasn't what you had been expecting when Klaus took you, and now you didn't know what to say, so you remained silent and obedient. Klaus released his grip and took a step back, heading up the ramp to the ship.
You took a shaky breath and followed him, shivering a bit as you stepped on board. There was music playing, and while the exterior of the boat looked fairly plain, the inside was quite posh and immaculately decorated. You hesitated, glancing at Klaus, but he nodded his head and you followed him into a room. You could sense that Elijah was close. You slowly breathed in and your nose twitched when you caught the strong scent of bourbon.
"I see you have already begun celebrating, brother," Klaus drawled, glancing around the room.
"That depends on how you define celebration," came a quiet response, and you shuddered at the sound of his voice. It was Elijah, your Elijah, his words ringing with a lack of inflection that wasn't entirely evident in his tone. It had a falsely polite, and strangely charming touch, like the cold indifference and arrogance that comes from experiencing and achieving total freedom.
You watched as he poured himself another glass, sitting back in a chair. He stared straight ahead, not meeting your eyes as he lifted the glass to his lips, swirling the alcohol, tipping it slightly, and watching it roll around, before putting it down again, not even having taken a sip. You sniffed, doing your best to control your emotions and expression as you watched him, but your mask was slipping, and you couldn't hide the raw pain in your voice when you spoke.
"Are you okay?" you asked, sounding raspy and hoarse, even to your own ears. Normally, it would have made him feel guilty to hear you like this. Maybe he would have replied in his usual soft, intimate tone, grabbing your chin and kissing your lips gently, holding you close. But your Elijah was dead, and there was nothing left but the monster the switch had transformed him into. You glanced at his face and looked away immediately, the coldness in his dark eyes sinking into your soul. They were beautiful, and deadly, gazing at you in cold assessment, and his expression did not change as he gave you a humorless smile.
"I have never been better," he replied, not moving from his relaxed position on the chair, though you noticed a slight tightening in his jaw when you opened your mouth to speak again. You quickly snapped it shut and watched as he tapped the glass with his finger, gazing around the room and sighing. You didn't know if his admission was a good or a bad thing, but the way he carried himself, all arrogant grace and calculated casualness, had alarm bells ringing in your head, telling you that you were in great danger.
It was worse than you had expected. The man you loved, the one who had treated you with such gentleness and tenderness, the man whose heart was filled with love, loyalty and affection for you, was not present at all.
"We shouldn't have come here," you blurted out, your throat constricting at the sudden fear gripping you. His eyes flicked up to look at you, his brow furrowed as he stared. You cleared your throat, casting a worried glance at Klaus, who was standing by the bar, sipping his own drink and watching the whole scene play out.
"Why? What is the problem?" Elijah asked, and you couldn't tell if he was acting cavalier or genuinely didn't care. "You said you wanted to break up, and I obliged you. So tell me," he said, his dark eyes meeting yours, "why are you here?"
"Because," you began, but quickly lost your train of thought, shaking your head and trying to shake the overwhelming urge to cry. You sucked in a deep breath, tilting your chin up as you spoke. "Because we still have stuff we need to talk about, and we can't when you are like this."
"Like what?" he asked, sounding bored. Your jaw clenched as he casually poured himself more alcohol, draining the contents of his glass quickly and sighing.
"Well," Klaus interrupted, walking over and leaning forward on his knees, "You could start by being a tad less cocky, and try actually listening."
Elijah smirked at him, arching an eyebrow. "Niklaus, I suggest you shut your mouth before I rip your tongue out."
"That would be amusing," Klaus shot back, rolling his eyes. "I'd like to see you try, or have you forgotten I am stronger than you? You can't hurt me."
"Hmm," Elijah hummed thoughtfully, staring intently at his younger brother. "Let's test that."
Before either of you could react, Elijah reached out and grabbed the back of Klaus' head, yanking him forward and bringing his face inches from his own. He glared at him, snarling as Klaus groaned in pain.
"Don't be ridiculous," Klaus growled, his fingers flexing. Klaus easily pried his hands off of him and forced him to release him. He shoved Elijah back into the chair, a vicious smirk on his face as he crossed his arms.
"Eli," you said, tears welling up in your eyes. You moved to touch his arm, but he snatched it out of your reach and pushed it back, baring his fangs at you, his eyes completely black.
"Do not call me that," he responded coldly, shaking his head.
"You shouldn't have brought her," Elijah said to his brother, and you felt the sadness you had been suppressing all day come rushing back full force. You would not be strong enough to get through this.
"Oh don't blame me, dear brother," Klaus retorted, clasping his hands together and glaring at him in frustration. "It's very much her fault that you turned your humanity off, so I brought her here to fix her mistake."
"A mistake I care not to rectify," Elijah said, lifting his chin up haughtily.
"Oh," Klaus scoffed, fixing him with a nasty glare, "I bet you don't."
"Shut up," you mumbled, blinking furiously. Your legs were shaking, your knees about to give out as you wrapped your arms around yourself. Klaus stepped closer to you and you leaned against him, trembling, clinging to his shirt.
"Get a grip," Klaus hissed, glaring down at you in annoyance. He wrapped a hand around your throat and turned you around to face Elijah. His grip tightened, and you gasped in surprise and pain, your eyes wide as they met Elijah's intense gaze. He couldn't take his eyes off of you, something within him stirred at the sight of your fear, but it was buried beneath the ice of his indifference. Elijah narrowed his eyes as he stood up, smoothing down his tie as he approached.
"Niklaus, you are so painfully transparent," he began, an edge of amusement coloring his tone, "I do not care if you hurt her," he added, and his words cut deeper than any physical blow could.
"Eli," you pleaded, a soft whisper of pure agony coming from your lips, "How could you possibly say that? You swore you would always take care of me, protect me." He lowered his eyes, studying your features carefully. He looked down at you, stroking his chin.
"Hmm, you know, now that you say that, I'm feeling a little thirsty," he said, chuckling and stepping closer.
You shut your eyes, stifling a sob and trying to hide the fact that his words had broken your heart, shattering it into pieces. You couldn't bear his mockery, it was almost worse than not having him at all. It made the excruciating pain much more unbearable. Elijah stared at you, leaning closer and brushing a stray hair off of your cheek.
His lips hovered over yours for a split second, causing your lips to part in surprise and confusion, wanting his mouth to capture yours, knowing that the press of his lips was something you would always miss. Even when he was a monster, you felt yourself reacting to him instinctively, wanting nothing more than to be with him. But the kiss did not come, and he pulled away before you could rise to meet him.
"Do you think she knows how many ways she can die?" Elijah asked his brother, and Klaus sighed heavily, rubbing his temples in frustration. "I mean, with enough patience and creativity, even the simplest forms of death, can be quite extraordinary," he drawled.
Klaus pulled you back from Elijah, his grip on you tightening, you weren't sure who you feared more in that moment. "Elijah, I made a promise that I would not let you kill her," Klaus said, and Elijah rolled his eyes, his jaw clenching and his eyes narrowing.
"That promise can easily be broken," he said, as if talking about the weather.
"Actually, I thought I would take a page out of your book, find a loophole in the promise I made," Klaus said, his voice taunting as he smiled cruelly. You stopped breathing at his words, your body going rigid, Klaus was going to kill you.
"Elijah?" you whispered desperately, praying that he would protect you from Klaus. You were so cold, and you couldn't move, rooted in place with fear. He turned around abruptly, shrugging his shoulders as he walked across the room to make a new drink.
"You can go ahead and drain her if you so wish. It makes no difference to me," he said.
"Sorry love, I have to call his bluff," Klaus said, patting your head and then running a hand through your hair as his fangs grazed your neck. His voice was dark and malicious. "Say your goodbyes," he smirked.
"Klaus, please," you cried, panic coursing through you, but before he could do anything more, Elijah lunged at him, tearing him away from you. Your back hit the floor hard, your head snapping against the wood, causing you to see stars. You cradled your head, tasting blood in your mouth as you rolled on the floor. Elijah tackled Klaus, growling and snarling viciously, his fingers clenched around his brother's neck as he pinned him to the ground.
"Don't you dare lay a finger on her," Elijah warned, but Klaus only smirked, using all his strength to shove Elijah off of him. Elijah's back connected with a pillar, falling to the floor as he clutched his head. He just sat there, head in his hands, his shoulders slumped, taking quick, shuddering breaths, attempting to regain some sort of composure. You crawled your way over to him, too dazed to stand up.
"Eli," you gasped, lifting his face up and forcing him to look at you. He didn't try to pull away, letting you caress his jaw. You slowly stroked his hair, shushing him gently as your fingers trailed over his cheekbones.
"Get away from me," he groaned, grabbing your wrist to keep you from touching him. His mind was reeling from the violent overload of emotions coursing through him. Having you here, so close to him, wanting him, loving him, it overwhelmed him, bringing back every single moment he had spent with you, every beautiful, painful, joyous moment of his entire existence.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," you sobbed, reaching out to touch him. He wasn't pushing you away, he was just sitting there, hunched over, breathing heavily. Your mind was too foggy to think about the consequences of your actions. There was an excruciating ache in your chest, and you needed Elijah to hold you.
You threw your arms around his shoulders and pressed your lips to the back of his neck, nuzzling him and letting tears stream down your face. He stilled, not fighting you, but not holding you.
"I lied to you Elijah, I'm sorry," you whispered, pressing your face into the crook of his neck as you hugged him tighter. "I love you, I never stopped. I'm sorry, please forgive me."
He didn't move, keeping his expression guarded as he put an arm around you, turning his body slightly to pull you in closer. He tilted his chin down and pressed his lips to the side of your head in a gentle kiss. His eyes were closed, your scent invading his nose, your hair tickling his neck. He sighed, your words, your presence, it was like a spark lighting up a flame of emotions in his chest as the switch in his head turned back on.
"I could never stop loving you," he murmured, opening his eyes and sitting up a bit, keeping you close to him.
"Well, looks like my work is done. Do give her a ride home when you are done, Elijah," Klaus drawled, smirking in triumph as he stood watching you, before swiftly making his way out of the room.
Elijah gripped your chin gently and forced you to turn to face him. You were horrified by the sadness in his dark eyes, but the relief you felt at seeing the love there tore you apart, and you burst into tears, gripping his face and pulling him towards you, kissing his lips, his jaw, his forehead, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist.
"Darling," he sighed, looking down at your tear stained face. He gently ran his thumb over your cheekbone, bringing your forehead to his as he just held you.
"Forgive me, I-I-was so scared," you managed to get out, but he hushed you, your breathing synchronizing as he hugged you tightly, running a hand through your hair.
"Why did you lie to me?" he asked, pulling away and stroking your neck, your pulse fluttering beneath his touch.
"I was afraid," you replied, sniffing and wiping your tears. "I didn't want to hurt you, I thought it would be easier to let you go if I pushed you away instead."
"What were you afraid of?" he questioned, guiding your face up, needing to see your beautiful, tear filled eyes.
"I was terrified at the prospect of getting old, growing old, and putting you through that. You'd have to watch as you lived a lifetime with me, and eventually I would be gone and you would be left alone," you gasped out, the words flowing out unbidden, unable to control yourself now that the gates had been opened. "and.. I want children of my own, and a family, I can't have all of that with you. This past week I've been so torn, I thought leaving you was the best thing to do, because I knew my choice would hurt you, and you didn't deserve that, and I didn't know how else to do this."
Elijah smiled sadly, shaking his head and cupping your cheeks. "None of that matters, my darling, and it never will. Don't you understand that? You are worth the heartache, the pain, the loss. You are worth being human for."
He kissed you gently, brushing your hair out of your face, causing more tears to slip down your cheeks as you fisted your hands in his shirt, allowing him to pour all of his love and heartache into the kiss. You were left breathless, staring into his eyes, seeing the sadness there that matched yours.
"As for children, I know a few witches that could help us solve that issue," he said. You blinked rapidly, stunned that his answer was so easy, simple. The corners of his lips quirked up, and you felt your heart thundering in your chest, desperate to have him, keep him forever.
"Do you want that? To have children with me?" you asked, your hands in his, hoping, praying, that he truly understood what he was getting himself into.
"With you, yes, anything you wish for, I will give you," he replied, resting his head on your shoulder, and nuzzling your neck. You drew in a deep breath, so relieved and overcome with a surge of emotions that you grabbed his head and planted another firm, passionate kiss on his lips.
He chuckled, a deep, soothing sound that had you smiling despite all the tears you were shedding. Your fingers were clutching at his shirt, dragging him closer to you as you continued to kiss him, memorizing everything, his taste, the curves of his lips, the way his tongue felt against yours. He put his arm around your waist, and shifted, scooping you up into his lap, and into his arms.
"When was the last time we made love?" he whispered against your lips, pulling away and looking into your eyes, his gaze caressing your features softly.
"Three months," you whispered, stroking his stubbled jaw, running your fingers over his lips, marveling at the feel of his warm, soft skin, thinking that you almost never had the chance to be with him again.
"That's much too long," he murmured, sliding his hands up your thighs and grinning seductively. You chuckled, feeling a heated blush creep up your neck and spread across your cheeks. His fingers traced the edge of your thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
"I love you, Elijah Mikaelson," you said, grinning broadly as your fingers threaded through his hair, savoring the feel of it. He just sat, staring at you with warmth and adoration, unspoken love shining in his deep brown eyes.
"For eternity, I will love you, my y/n," he whispered, pressing his lips gently against yours, and you melted into him, gripping the back of his neck as you felt a piece of your soul slide back into place, wrapped tightly around his heart.
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adorabluesposts · 6 days
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I’m a massively hopeless romantic and hopelessly in love with our short paranoid chaotic duck loving king and the THINGS I WOULD DO TO THIS MAN JUST BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
Anyway thoughts about he’d react to constant affection because my love is physical affection and maybe sometimes giving him handmade gifts because nothing beats time wasted on handmade shit. I LOVE THIS MAN SM ITS TOO MUCH 😭😭😭
I WANNA CONSTANTLY SHOWER HIM WITH KISSES AND PRAISES PLS.
Basically requesting a fluff with all of the above 💀💀
I also love your writing style sm, hope you’re having a great day/night
buckle up cause this is gonna be SWEET!
Thanks for the appreciation on my writing, I'm still working on it 😭💖 love this sm. This is for the physical affection ppl 🫶🏻
a/n:.. added some acts of service love language too I'm so sorry 😭
NOT PROFFRED.
PROOFREA. PROOFREWD. I can't spell.
NOT PROOFREAD.
(I managed)
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divider by @al-of-the-stars. NOT MINE!!
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It's not a surprise Lucifer's a sucker for physical attention. Not in a sexual way, just hugs and holding hands in the most unusual times.
At first you started off with 'baby steps', occasionally giving him a kiss on his cheek or lips, holding his hand or playing with his suit when he didn't expect it, just to see how he'd react.
He would get flustered, turn into a blushing mess and pretty much feel like his knees would give out at any minute. He would never admit what an impact you had on him, though.
When the showers of affection got more frequent and he realised what you were doing, every chance he'd get he would basically invite you to do those things for him. He loved tricking you into thinking he didn't know what your love language was and , even if he still got all flustered and was still surprised because he, obviously, didn't know what to expect (a kiss or a hug), he convinced himself he was just acting so flustered to trick you, again.
Of course Lucifer's love for you gets more and more powerful with every kiss.
His wife left him, after all, so he needs all the affection you can offer. He really loves you.
Even though you noticed he still wears his wedding ring sometimes, you know how hard it is to let go, and you showering him with affection actually helps him get through it!
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"Good morning, handsome!" You shower his sleepy face with kisses as he slowly wakes up, watching his grumpy face turn into a weak, tired smile.
"Morning" He smiles and cups your cheek as you pull away, pushing you back in for a kiss.
He notices you're all dressed already and raises an eyebrow, sitting up. "Where are you going?"
"Well, Your Majesty-" He smiles at you, loving how intimate it sounds when you call him that, "-It's Monday. Meaning I have work to get done."
He frowns and you laugh. "Bummer."
"I made you breakfast, so you might as well get changed." You ruffle his hair as he struggles to put it back in place, even if it was tangled already and playfully huffs at you, lecturing you on how his hair must always be perfect as you leave the room.
When he joins you in the kitchen, you gasp in awe, like every morning. You go up to him and praise him for being so good looking, pestering his face with kisses and telling him how you're falling in love over and over again.
He loves it truly, holding your waist as you praise him. He looks at you with lovesick eyes and a goofy smile and only let's go when hunger takes the best of him. He praises you back, too, for being such a good cook (or not burning the kitchen down.. in certain people's cases aka me).
Before you leave, he makes sure to leave one of his ducks in your bag , knowing that by now you have millions if them in your office, as you leave one of your handmade gifts, drawings, or sweets in your shared room.
He almost never wants to let you go to work, turning the radio on to twirl you around in the kitchen and kiss your face or hands until it gets so late you either have to run to work or make him open up a portal for you.
It's not his fault he just loves the way you love him.
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Ive never written something so fast in my entire life. THE THINGS LUCI DOES TO ME OMG.
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bettyfrommars · 9 months
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Might be too much in line with I'm on fire.. but what about classic a classic motorcycle riding drifter.. that is more than meets the eye... maybe more monster than man and that's why he drifts... idk if that's enough maybe he's drifted into small town USA and he meets reader at like a Truckstop/ Diner that's across from the one hotel in town and over days of her waiting on him (EDS) they strike something up... spicy.. if you will.. maybe he finds her delectable and she finds him mysterious & charming idk just spit ballin
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The Drifter
missed connections
out on the highway
monster!drifter!Eddie x dinerWaitress!Reader
18+ONLY, smut, blood, oral (f receiving), mention of drug and alcohol addiction, mention of physical abuse by an ex, mention of PTSD, emotional trauma, 2 lost souls finding each other, a killing, monsterfuqqing, but it’s also a really sweet, fluffy story if that makes sense. wc: 4.2
A/N: I was so excited to get this ask! I had to really pull back on the length of this story because I could've kept writing it forever and will most likely bring back Eddie The Drifter again in some oneshots. I did a quick re-read, but sometimes I just need to post these before I obsess over them for too long.
(Also, when Eddie is thinking about how "damaged" they both are, that is his perception, not mine. I think they are both perfect.)
Eddie had been drifting for a while.  He didn’t want to know anyone, and he didn’t want anyone to know him.  He hadn't been the same since the physical and emotional trauma he’d suffered in The Upside Down.  Steve took him by the arm once and told him he understood what he was going through—that they all understood—and that he wasn’t alone.  Eddie knew Steve and the rest meant well, but they couldn’t understand, and he was convinced no one ever would. Trauma affects everyone differently and for Eddie, it started to turn him into his father, and that was what scared him more than anything.  Dark and brooding with a short fuse, there was a beast living inside of him that had not been there before the ordeal with Vecna; or perhaps, it had just been sleeping.  
He lost his temper with Dustin once, and at the time, he thought he was having a very normal reaction to the situation.  It wasn’t until he recognized the fear in his younger friend’s eyes–the way he backed away from Eddie and put his hands up as if he needed to protect himself—that Eddie knew he had to go.  After years of silent struggle and becoming a hermit more and more, he decided to hit the road.  
He started out in his van, sleeping in it, getting odd jobs wherever he went, staying in town just long enough to make some money, and then he was in the wind again.  He called Wayne from payphones and sent postcards back home to Hawkins once in a while, but not often.  In his mind, they were better off without him.
The second year he was on the road, he ended up getting involved with a biker gang and doing some jobs for them that paid well but were on the wrong side of the law.  Before the Upside Down, he’d been more of a lover than a fighter.  Sure, he had to defend himself a few times, especially from his old man, and he never took shit from people without giving it back, but ever since he almost died, he’d acquired some type of superhuman strength.  There was a transformation that happened in him now, fueled by the adrenaline of his rage, and in the past decade, he’d been paid to hurt more people than he could count. The problem was—he’d started to like it. 
Eventually, he was able to trade in his van for a Harley FXS 80, and he carried most of his early possessions with him.  He put the rest of what he owned in a storage unit in Oregon, and he’d planned to circle back there again one of these days to get it all when he decided to settle down—but years later, he was still on the road.   He’d been using his bedroll to sleep out under the stars the past couple nights, but the clouds told him it was about to rain, and he decided he could use a shower and a real bed for the night.
Red River Junction was less than a dot on a map, a truck stop town with a place to eat, a place to sleep, and a place to pump your gas, set right plop in the middle of nowhere.  You’d grown up in a town not too far down the highway, and you were still there, in the same trailer your mother left to you when she passed.  You worked at both the Sundown Motel part-time, and at Margie’s Diner, and in your free time, you dreamed about leaving town and never coming back.  
You heard the rumble of his motorcycle before you saw it; chrome pipes growling to a stop as the rider found a place for his bike in the lot.  A motorcycle, or even an entire MC, pulling into the junction was nothing new.  You were the only stop for gas and food for a good fifty miles.
You were staring for so long out the window as he dismounted and took his helmet off, that you overflowed the coffee cup you were refilling and the elderly customer scoffed at you.  He had long, curly hair tied back in a ponytail and bangs that had grown out just long enough to tuck behind his ears.  Black leather jacket, and leather chaps over his jeans. Your attention was immediately drawn to his jewelry: the small hoop piercing in his ear and the chunky rings across his knuckles.  My Boyfriend’s Back by The Angels played softly from the jukebox while you made your way to the front to greet him.  The kitchen was slammed with only Big Joe behind the grill, and Leslie was the only other waitress, but she was on a smoke break.  
You fumbled the big plastic menu in your hand when he took his sunglasses off to nail you with those star-flecked eyes.  “Just one for lunch?”
He tucked his sunglasses into the front of his shirt and looked around.  “You still serving breakfast?”
“All day long,” you assured him.  Seats at the counter were all full, so  you offered him a booth, and he slid in without another word or glance in your direction, taking the menu from you with a grunt. You tried not to stare at his scars: the angry, purple one on his neck, and the deep white slash across his chin.  His hands were also flecked with scar tissue from various fights, and punching through mirrors every time he hated his own reflection.
50 year old Leslie was tying her apron and chewing gum when you moved behind her to grab a cup and saucer for his coffee.  “Another grumpy one,” you whispered over the sound of clinking silverware and scattered conversations.  
Leslie raised her eyebrow a few times, resting her elbow on the counter.  “Hell, he can get grumpy with me any day.”
Eddie didn’t say much while you waited on him, and you didn’t think he was paying any attention to you, but he saw the way you splashed a bit of vodka into your soda can behind the counter.  He also caught the way you used that same liquid to toss back a couple pills you scooped out of your apron pocket just before you turned to grab some hot plates from the kitchen hatch.  He didn’t judge you for it or think it was odd being that he’d spent the past ten years trying to find ways to dull his pain.  
He thought you were too beautiful for this deadbeat town; too sweet, too kind.  He noticed the bruise on your forearm and the vacancy in your eyes and he felt an instant kinship with you: the damaged recognizing the damaged.  
When you came to clear his empty plate, he asked you if the Sundown Motel was a decent place to stay.  It was the only motel for miles and he didn’t care how decent it was, he just wanted a reason to keep talking to you.
“Sure, it’s great,” you shrugged.  “If you like bedbugs and carpets that look like a violent crime took place recently.”
He met your eyes, and there was a moment of levity there that lightened both of your spirits if only for that moment.  
“I’m cool with bedbugs,” he brushed his tongue between his lips.  “It gets lonely on the road, it’s nice to have some company.”
He told you his name was Eddie after he read yours off of your name tag, and when you came back from seating a table full of seniors who were on a bus tour to the casino, he was gone.
He left you a generous tip, though, and after hours of getting tipped in quarters and loose change, it felt good to have some solid cash in your pocket.  His motorcycle was gone too, and you wondered if he’d decided to hit the road or stay the night.  
You told yourself to forget about him, that he was just another drifter you’d never see again, but the evening had other plans for you.  
You were supposed to have the night off from both jobs, but Susan at the front desk of the motel begged you to come down and work the check-in desk for an hour while she went to pick her kid up.  You wished you could say you had some big plans, but that was absolutely not the case, and so you rolled your car up to the back lot behind the dumpsters and changed out of your orthopedic shoes and into something less drab.  
You thought it would be an easy hour to space off and read a book, but ten minutes after you clocked in, two guests locked themselves out of their room.  It was a two-tier motel, and as you made your way up the concrete steps with the husband and wife in question behind you, fumbling with the keys, you caught sight of Eddie a few rooms down, and your heart jumped into your throat.
He was sitting in the plastic chair in front of the door to his room, smoking a cigarette, stripped down to jeans and a wife-beater.  His hair was still wet from his shower, hanging down his shoulders, showcasing the patchwork of scars that covered his flesh.  
He didn’t make eye contact, but he saw you. In fact, he knew you were on your way a few minutes before that, because he heard your voice, and it made him stay and light another smoke.   He flicked his ash and waited for you to let the couple into their room.  
On your way back to the stairs, the soda and snack machine blocked your view, but once you rounded the corner, there he was again.  
“Is your room satisfactory, sir?” You put the keys in your pocket and stood tall, pretending to act professional.  
Eddie met your eyes then, staring up through his lashes, and one side of his mouth lifted in a smirk.  “Disappointed I haven’t found any bedbugs.”
You coughed a laugh, swaying on your feet.  “Give it time. They come out at dark.”
Eddie didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but he’d also learned never to miss an opportunity with how transient his life was.  His attraction to you was not purely physical, which was a rare occurrence for him. 
He shifted in his seat, a silky curl of gray smoke passing from his lips.  “Are you free later tonight? Can I buy you dinner?”  
Suddenly shy and baffled as to why he’d have any interest, you lowered your chin and shuffled your foot. 
 “I-I’ve got a boyfriend,” you cringed as you said it.  Tony had cheated on you and left you more times than you could count.  He took off a couple days ago after he knocked you around, and you had no idea where he was, but you continued to hold onto this strange sense of loyalty for him.  Perhaps it was because you were convinced he was the best you could do.  
“Did the tough guy do that to your arm?” Eddie asked in a low mumble, his eyes lingering on your bruises.
You covered the marks with your other hand, reflexively.  “He’s been under a lot of stress lately,” you always felt like such an idiot when you defended that loser, but you didn’t know how to stop.  
“Well,” Eddie smashed the butt in the ashtray by his chair and stood up to full height. One nipple under his white tank was hard, but the other one seemed to be missing.  “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
You were too stupefied to move, you just stood there holding your arm, waiting for him to go back into his room.
But Eddie paused in the doorway and turned to give you one last look.  “You deserve a lot better, sweetheart. If he puts his hands on you while I’m around, I’ll fucking kill him.”
—------
You thought about Eddie’s words for the rest of your shift.  When it was over, you drove the ten miles back to your trailer, took a shower, and found yourself driving back to the motel, as if your will was no longer your own.  
“What are you even doing?” You hissed aloud to yourself as you parked behind the Sundown in your usual spot.  It was dusk now and you accepted the possibility that he’d probably invited a different woman out to dinner by then, but any amount of reasoning couldn’t stop you.  You checked the scene first, looking up from the main parking lot to catch the flicker of the tv in his room to let you know he was, indeed, still up there.  His motorcycle was safe in its place, too, and you realized you hadn’t even prepared what to say.  You were an anxious mess, but you were also hungry for him in a way that was foreign to you.  
You hadn’t known much comfort or safety in your life, but you felt those things when you were around Eddie.
After standing at his door for a good 5 minutes, you finally found the courage to knock.
Eddie opened the door while your knuckles were still on the wood.  His eyes looked you over, offering a buck of his chin in appreciation. “Well, well. You are a gorgeous bedbug.”
Your cheeks burned hot at the complement.  “I had some free time, so I thought I’d just check and see how you were doing, if you have everything you need.”
Eddie braced his shoulder against the door jam, giving you a squint. “So, you came to check on me while you’re off the clock? Damn, that is good service.”
You flexed your hands, forcing a laugh, trying your best not to just turn around and run away.
“Are you hungry?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.  “Do you want to come in? Cause we can —”
“I’m not hungry.” You answered, bolting inside of his room when he extended his arm as an invitation, before you lost your nerve.
“Neither am I,” Eddie agreed.  But, he was craving something else.  
He locked the deadbolt and made sure the curtains were closed.
—-----
There were very few words left to be spoken as your lips collided with his, meeting with equal levels of urgency.  You kept trying to kiss him deep and desperate while your hand palmed him through his jeans, but he held you off a bit with soft pressure.  He cupped your face and caressed your cheek with his thumb while he kissed you, giving individual attention to your top lip and then the bottom one.  He kissed down your neck, flicking his tongue out every so often to taste you, making you gasp—you’d never been worshiped with someone's mouth before.    
Breathing heavy, he started to unbutton your shirt.  “Is this okay?” He asked, wondering how far you wanted to take it.
“Yes,” you gulped.  “Please.”
Once you had his shirt off, you bent down to kiss and lick his scars—it was an unspoken act of acceptance that made Eddie’s cock twitch.  You weren’t used to being cared for in bed, and Eddie could tell by the way you hurried to push your jeans down and bend over so he could take you from behind.
“Not like that,” he whispered, using strong arms to lower you to the bed while he shimmied your jeans off.  He got on his knees and scooped up your hips, nudging your pussy through your underwear with his nose, and then he planted kisses across the wet spot and along your inner thigh.  The animal inside of him loved your scent; he wanted to bury himself in it, and he couldn’t help the growl that escaped him.  
You fell back on the bed and covered your face with one hand.  “Wait, I’m—not many people have done that—I’m not sure how to—”
Eddie finger pulled your underwear to one side, exposing your slippery lips for his tongue to flick.  “Do you want me to stop?”
You arched back at the sensation of his mouth on you.  “No, no, please don’t stop,” you urged, putting your hand on his head to gently cup his ear, the one with the silver hoop.  
He moved away just long enough to pull your underwear all the way down your legs and off, maintaining eye contact with you.  He didn’t rush, he took his time, and kissed his way back up your legs to the prize.  
The gentle and precise way he swirled his tongue on your clit had you stammering his name with a few curses in between.  As his attention to your bundle of nerves built your arousal and it spilled down your slit, he dove his mouth down a few times to taste it and drink you, shivering at the pleasure it gave him.  He couldn’t help it, he had to reach down to grab his cock so he could fist it while his mouth brought you closer.  The taste of your hormones in your slick had pre-cum wetting his tip already.  
Tony had only gone down on you a few times, and he never really seemed to enjoy it.  But Eddie was one of those who could eat a peach for hours, as they say.
“Right…there…” you hushed, startled as you felt the wave of an orgasm rise.  Eddie zeroed in on that spot with just the right pressure, fluttering his tongue as he sucked.  His other hand milked his cock in long strokes, taming the beast from cumming too soon, moaning warm breath against your cunt.
“Eddie!” You cried out just as the release took you and wracked your body, like a spring popping out of a tight coil, unraveling.  Eddie pressed his mouth closer to lap you up, feeling your body vibrate as he held your hip in place.
He only broke the seal made by his mouth once you were too sensitive, and your limbs dangled off the bed for a minute, unable to move. 
It didn’t take long for you to start coaxing him up on top of you, spreading your legs out, begging for him to be closer.  He met your kiss with deep, soul-searching need, and you whined at the sensation of his tip sliding up and down your slick.  But, then he hesitated, and pulled up to meet your eyes.
“Inside of me,” you begged, nodding.  “I need you inside of me.”
And yes, that was what Eddie wanted too, but now there was another problem.  
Eddie’s ears pricked at the sound of footsteps outside the door.  He sniffed the air, trying to identify the presence.  He slid off of you and stood, watching the door while he pulled his jeans up and zipped his stiff, aching cock into place behind the denim.
Shuffling up onto your elbows, you were about to speak, to ask what was wrong, but Eddie silenced you with a finger to his lips.  He tossed your jeans over and motioned over his shoulder for you to put them on in the bathroom.
There was something about the whole situation, and Eddie’s sudden silence, that unnerved you, and so you scampered off the bed as quietly as you could and did as he asked.
There were no lights on in the room, except for the infomercial on the mute TV, but the bright moon illuminated the walkway outside enough for him to catch sight of someone pacing out there.  
Finally, there came a heavy knock and a voice.  
It was Tony, and he shouted your name.  “ARE YOU IN THERE? HUH? You fucking whore!”
You buttoned your jeans and all of the blood ran from your face.  Eddie turned his head to look at you.  The adrenaline of pure fear pumped through your body as you froze in place. 
Eddie put his hand out, motioning for you to stay right where you were, behind him.  
Tony pounded on the door again.  “YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME! One of my guys said he saw you go in here with some fucking dude.  IF YOU’RE FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE I’LL KILL YOU, you goddamn bitch!”
By “one of his guys” Tony meant one of the other drug dealers in town, who were generally crawling all over the motel, leeching off of the clientele.  Eddie looked deceptively calm as he stood at the end of the bed, breathing slow, and you walked over to grab his arm, to warn him that Tony was a crazy motherfucker, and you’d just go with him so Eddie wouldn’t get hurt.  
But Eddie motioned for you to hide, so you did.
“Hold up, man,” Eddie was moving now, heading to undo the deadbolt and you cringed, pushing back as tight as you could between the wall and the bathroom door.  
Once the door was unlocked, Tony stood there heaving, looking Eddie up and down.  Tony was big in a stocky way, but not big like Eddie, and he enjoyed that flash of fear that lit over his adversary’s eyes at first glance.  Sure, the guy had some obvious prison ink, but that didn’t mean shit to Eddie.  
“Where is she?” Tony demanded, pushing in.
“Where’s who, man?” Eddie was being so casual about it, and you were  trying not to scream.  
Eddie shut the door and quietly locked it behind him
Tony’s eyes darted around the room, and then he spun on his heel; his eyes were pinned and doped-out.  “Don’t act dumb, man.  My fucking girl.  Someone said they saw her come up here.”
Tony walked up to Eddie and started poking him in the chest.  “Tell me where that fucking whore is before I make you my bitch.”
Nothing could have prepared you for what happened next—for the transformation and the carnage.  You witnessed it all through the crack in the bathroom door as if you were watching a horror movie. 
Eddie changed, in an instant; the muscles in his shoulders and arms bulged, the teeth in his mouth turned jagged and sharp, and his eyes went completely black.  His massive, clawed hand wrapped around Tony’s throat, lifting him up so that his feet no longer touched the ground.
You muffle a scream with your hand, watching Tony gargle and spit, his limbs flailing.  
Eddie’s lips stretched to speak around his fangs.  “She’s not your girl anymore,” he growled.
Eddie strangled Tony with one hand  until he lost consciousness, and then he threw him to the bed like a rag doll, pouncing on top of him.  He proceeded to rip his throat open with his teeth; blood squirted on the wall and across the door where you were hiding, misting you in the face.  
When he was finished, you made your way out of the bathroom.
Eddie was still a monster as he got off the bed at the sight of your approach.  His clawed hands twitched at his sides, his hair dripped with blood, and his skin from nose to chest was bathed in crimson.  His black eyes assessed you, waiting for you to scream or try to run—-but you didn’t.
You got close enough to touch him, to run your hand up his chest to feel the blood between your fingers, and then brush some bloody hair behind his ear.
Eddie frowned, wondering why you weren’t afraid of him, wondering why your desire for him didn’t seem to falter.
You parted your lips, watching the red drool drip from his teeth.  “Are you okay?"
Your mouths found each other again, tasting the tang of your own blood as one of his fangs pricked your lip.  You each did frantic work of unzipping each other’s jeans as Eddie scooped you up to lay you on the floor.
While the last few pumps of blood shot from Tony’s artery, monster Eddie spilled his seed inside of you, throwing his head back with a howl.  
Now, there really had been a crime committed in that room, and Eddie would need to be on the road again, gone by daylight.  
Maybe this time, you’d be going with him.  
478 notes · View notes
savventeen · 9 months
Text
you say the stupidest (sweetest) things
pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3
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From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]
yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science
Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.
To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.
Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.
He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.
“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“
“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”
The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.
He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”
“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”
“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”
His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.
Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.
“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”
Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”
“So. Where're we at this time?”
He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.
“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”
“Aish.”
The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.
“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”
“Wait. What?”
“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”
“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.
“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”
“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”
He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”
“No, it isn't.”
Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.
“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”
“I'm not lying!”
“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”
A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”
He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”
“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.
“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."
You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.
“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”
“...”
“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”
Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”
“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.
“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.
“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”
“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”
“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”
Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”
“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”
Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”
“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”
Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”
“Booooooo, you whore.”
He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”
“Ugh, fine.”
“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.
Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.
A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.
Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.
But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.
Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.
how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh
He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.
But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.
Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.
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Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.
You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.
The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.
Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.
Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.
You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.
Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.
And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.
It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.
With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.
Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.
And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.
For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.
Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.
You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."
He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."
“Yep!”
You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.
The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.
Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.
💤 💤 💤 💤 💤
It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.
Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.
It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.
He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.
And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.
Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.
Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.
"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"
He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.
"Am— am I okay? No??"
Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"
Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.
"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"
Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"
"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?
Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.
"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"
He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"
Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"
"What you just said."
You blink. "...that I'm confused?"
He shakes his head. "No, before that."
You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"
"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.
That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.
He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””
Oh.
You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"
He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"
And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."
Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.
You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."
"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"
"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"
"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.
"Oh my god!"
He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.
This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.
But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.
"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."
Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.
And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.
You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"
This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.
When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.
"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"
Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.
"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"
Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"
"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"
"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."
And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.
He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.
And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"
"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."
Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"
He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.
"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.
"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."
You blink at him.
"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”
He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.
“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”
You snort.
“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”
"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.
“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”
Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.
The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.
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skzhua · 1 year
Text
you are my safe haven ('your eyes' series)
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♡ "You were the first person I thought of at the moment."
pairing: lee minho x reader.
genre: fluff, angst.
word count: 10,529
warnings: swearing, suggestive, unrequited love mentioned, minho being minho (savage and flirty).
summary: your relationship with minho has always been tricky. either he was roasting the shit out of you, or he was flirting with you shamelessly. when things start to get complicated with your childhood friend, chan, why is he the first one who come up in your mind?
a/n: this one took me so long to write, but it might be my favourite one ever. i just fucking love lee minho, lmao. i'm so sorry for not posting as regularly as i used to, i'm very much struggling with school and other, but i'm trying my best! anyway, enjoy~
SERIES MASTERLIST
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You and Chan met when your parents used to live across from each other. Being a year apart only, it made things easy for the both of you to get along. You had gone through everything together whether it was growing up, changing schools, making friends, etc. The last big step you had taken together was moving on your college's campus. You roomed with a nice but shy healthcare student, Youngmi. Although she wasn't a social butterfly like Chan was, she grew more at ease with you as time passed.
Another semester starting meant more homework and less free time, and that involved no more nights out with Chan at the local diner. Over the holidays, his friend, Minho, had started to come to your usual hangouts. Nothing against him, but his presence did affect your relationship with Chan. Your crush on him had only been growing since college started and Minho's presence wasn't much of an help if you wanted to confess at some point. Anyway, it's not like you could tell Chan that his friend was causing you problems when really he was doing nothing wrong.
Your first day was finally over. Checking your message app, you saw nothing from Chan. Weird, since he would always answer you. Your last class was with Minho, and after you had put everything in your bag, he was still at his desk, not having moved a bit other than jamming to his music.
"Minho, can you not?"
The man acted as if he had heard nothing and went on with humming happily to the song he was listening to. Despite how much your friendship with him had improved, he remained one of the few people you would give away to Satan to save yourself with no hesitation.
"Min." you tried again, but you were left with no response.
Out of impatience, you snatched his earphones out of his ears, resulting to Minho spatting out one insult after the other. "I was vibing, you moron! You're seriously no fun, weirdo."
"Wow, I'm so affected by your lame insults." you rolled your eyes.
"I'm going soft on you, kitten."
And here it was again, the sudden shift from insults to flirts. Quite honestly, you never understood how he managed to pass from one another so smoothly, nor could you comprehend how it took you by surprise each time. But that's what Minho is, a flirty jerk who loves to provoke.
"Why are you so pressed, anyway?" he asked as he lazily followed you out of the class.
"We're going to the diner, remember?"
"I forgot, actually. See, that's why I need you around." he winked, but you dismissed his antics.
"Chan hasn't replied to my messages yet, it's not like him."
"It's the first day of school, I bet he has hundreds of meetings."
He was surely right, but you learnt with time to not base your thoughts off of Minho's because he never cared about anything other than himself. And right now, he didn't give a damn about Chan not replying to you.
"I don't know, should I call Bin to see if he's with him?"
Minho deadpanned at you. "Are you his mom or something? He's fine, probably just busy. Plus, I'm here. Can't you enjoy my company for once?"
You sent him a disgusted look, unimpressed, as you went outside. That's when, from afar, you saw your best friend. He was as handsome as ever, still wearing his oversized black clothes, and laughing cutely. And he was laughing with a girl. You had literally never seen her before, though you were convinced to know everyone in Chan's social circle.
"I told you he's okay." Minho huffed.
"Sure." you replied, unfocused. "Wait here for a moment, will you?"
You passed your bag to him, not letting him protest, and you ran to Chan to hug him from the back. He was startled for a bit, until he realized you were the one who took him by surprise.
"Hey, there!" he smiled widely before hugging you back tightly, ruffling your hair in a sweet manner. "I haven't seen you all day, where were you?"
"Class... And the best out of this is that I get to finish the day with Lee Minho." you fake-gagged.
"He's not that bad, just a bit annoying." he chuckled. "How was it, other than that?"
"Fine, I suppose. I just really don't want to be back in class. The teachers went over their planned projects, and I wanted to shoot myself just then."
"Don't say that, you'll do just fine. I know it." he said, rubbing your back.
"Thanks, Channie." you blushed a little.
Chan soon realized he had been ignoring his new friend since you appeared. "Y/N, this is Eunhee. She's in my sound art practices class. Eunhee, this is my best friend, Y/N."
You ignored the pang in your heart from the label he used for you, but still greeted the girl sweetly. "Hi! Happy to meet you!"
"Likewise." she replied, seemingly uneasy by your presence despite her polite smile. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."
You turned your attention to Chan expectedly, but his answer crushed you a bit. "No, no. I'll show you." he hurried to tell her, before looking at you sadly. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."
You tried your very best to hide your disappointment, but let's say it wasn't much of a success. "Yeah, sure. Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"
"It's fine, thanks. Later?"
He brought you in his arms again, kissing the top of your head as some sort of apology. You felt down enough, you didn't want to break your façade in front of him. So you hurried to join Minho back, who had patiently waited for you at the same spot. He frowned upon seeing your glossy eyes, but you didn't let him question it. You took your bag from him and started to walk to the diner immediately. However, Minho was stubborn. He sped his pace up to catch up with your own and fixated his gaze on you. You attempted to ignore it, but he can be very intimidating when he wants to be.
"What?" you snapped at him, annoyed.
"You like Chan."
You stopped on your tracks and looked at him incredulously. "You're seeing things."
He scoffed as he stopped walking as well. "Please." he elongated the word. "You're almost drooling at the sight of him. And when he's not with us, you only talk about him."
"I don't drool! And I talk about him because we barely have anything in common."
He smirked. "Now, now, kitten. You barely know anything about me, how can you be so sure?"
"You're a pain in the ass." you groaned, starting to walk again.
He followed closely as he laughed alone. "This is a fact, though. We barely talk about anything else than Chan. You must like him, then."
"Then talk about something else, if it bothers you that much."
He paused for a second, trying to think of any moment you two had without mentioning the older man. He could not think of a single one. He had tried to get to know you on many occasions, but Chan would always end up being the main topic. He had noticed way before today that you had a crush on Chan, but he thought it wasn't his place to bring it up. However, today was different. He was sick of seeing you check him out from afar and do nothing about it, so he thought of giving you a little push. Clearly, you were more stubborn than he initially thought.
"Do you actually want to talk with me?"
You let out a chuckle. "I mean, sure?"
"You don't seem sure."
"Like you said, we don't know much about each other, other than our mutual friend."
You reached the diner and opened the door to let Minho in first. He didn't wait for you to sit at the usual table you would be at with Chan. You joined him quickly, and he sent you a sly smirk.
"What is it now?" you breathed out.
"I want to talk."
You shrugged your shoulders, acting uninterested. "Please do."
"Do you even remember my cats' names?"
The question was unexpected for your part. In all of the things he could have brought up, you expected school, life experiences or hobbies, but certainly not his cats.
"I do, actually." you proudly responded, and he quirked an eyebrow. "I'm telling you, I remember!"
"What are they?"
"Soonie and Dori."
He gasped, putting a hand on his chest to enhance the dramatization of his reaction. "How dare you forget about my beloved Doongie?"
"My bad." you nonchalantly shrugged.
"You're such a bad friend."
"Are we even friends, Min?" you huffed.
"I only allow certain people to call me Min, actually."
You wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but Chan entering the place interrupted you. For the first time in your life, you wished he hadn't come join you so soon. He said hi to Minho briefly, before coming to sit down next to you. The server soon came to take your orders, and you asked for your usual burgers.
"Who was your little friend?" Minho asked Chan on purpose, resulting to getting a death stare from you.
"Eunhee. She just tranferred here, so I was showing her around. She's very nice, actually. She even writes lyrics like me! I read some of it, and she's got some talent."
Hearing him talk about someone else with so much praise did not feel good. Nonetheless, you smiled along Chan's talk and pitched in the conversation from time to time.
"I'm sure the two of you would get along well." he finished his monologue about the girl.
"Yeah, she sounds fun."
The night came to an end quickly, and Minho insisted on paying for the food, despite Chan's protests. You were walking to your dorm, when Chan had to go a separate way since he wasn't living close to you. He hugged you good night, and was off to go home.
Minho kept quiet as he walked you home. He didn't mind since his building was next to yours. Although the silence was enjoyable, he felt like something was off. You were acting as if he wasn't there and he couldn't help but notice when you sniffled discreetly.
"You like him that much, uh?"
Not in the mood for his teasing, you groaned in annoyance. "Shut up, Min."
"I'm genuinely asking." You hesitated, not sure if you should be telling him about this. "Hey, I'm serious."
He stopped you and put his hand on your shoulder. While Minho was never one for physical contact, you did know he would not think about it twice when it comes to his close ones. Apparently, he did care about you more than you thought. For some reason, you trusted him enough to tell him. Probably because it was becoming too much of a burden that you needed to confide in someone.
"I'll always be a little sister in his eyes, right?"
He didn't actually expect you to say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised you did. "Depends, things like this can change, you know."
"You don't get it. I've tried for years to get this man's attention, and the moment he meets Eunhee, he seems infatuated with her..."
"For years?"
You nodded your head slowly, ashamed to have been looking at the same man for that long. It's not like you did not try, you actually dated here and there. Nonetheless, Chan was always the one to pick you up after each breakup.
"Rough." Minho simply said.
You ended up changing subjects, as he started to spill out about his cats. He said he rented a dorm for himself so he could have his babies with him, and that he did not think it through when bringing in his third one. Especially because Dori has so much more energy than the two others.
"Thanks, Min." you said as you came to the front door of your building.
"For?"
"I don't know. For being there."
"Sure." he shrugged his shoulders. "Good night, Y/N."
"Good night."
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You really tried to make Youngmi feel at ease around your friends, and mutiple times. The girl had not much interest in coming out of her shell. You understood that, but her having been in college for a year already, you would have expected her to open up more. Still, her befriending you was already a success.
"This is, like, the only free break I have this week, so enjoy while I'm here." Chan laughed out as he headed towards the cafeteria.
"What if I don't?" you joked.
"Then you are revoked from any bestie privileges. No more driving you home after a night out."
You gasped as to seem shocked. "Who would tuck me in and treat my hangover, then?"
"Youngmi can do that." he shrugged as he nodded his head towards the girl walking next to you.
She didn't say anything as she looked at you in confusion. "What?"
"Nevermind." you sighed.
"Hey, Y/N, look." You followed to where Chan was pointing as he tugged your side, and your eyes landed on Eunhee and Jeongin sitting at a table. "We should join them."
"I don't think we should do that." Youngmi spoke.
"I thought you knew Jeongin and get along with him well."
"We don't want to impose ourselves." you added.
"It can't be too bad. Plus, Eunhee is very easygoing. Let's go."
No matter what you were going to say, you knew Chan was not going to change his mind. You forced yourself to follow him, and Youngmi had the same expression on her face. When you reached the two others, Jeongin's face turned red as his gaze stuck on Youngmi.
"Hey." she waved at him shyly.
"Do you mind if we join?" Chan asked, although he was already sitting down.
"Go ahead." Eunhee replied kindly.
Hesitant, you still sat down and started to eat. Chan began to discuss with Jeongin while the remaining three of you kept quiet. You and Eunhee exchanged some glances, and you felt bad for being so on the edge around her. She hadn't done anything other than being friendly, and it wasn't fair from you to give her the side eye.
Looking around, you tried to find Minho in the crowd. You spotted him quickly, but he did not see you as his eyes were set on someone else. More specifically, Byeol, his ex-girlfriend. He was sitting across from her and they were exchanging obvious glares. You were starting to wonder why he even sat with her, since he had previously told you he doesn't like to think about her. You observed the two of them for a bit, until they shifted glares into smiles. What the hell was happening?
"Youngmi." you turned to your friend. "Don't you think it's weird he's hanging out with her?"
The girl shrugged, since she didn't know them that much. "It looks normal to me."
You then heard someone choke, which turned your attention to Eunhee, who was coughing like crazy. As Jeongin attempted to make her feel better, you took out a napkin and wiped off the water she had spilled. She gave you a small smile, thankful.
"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" she said after she stopped coughing.
"She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."
You hadn't noticed that Chan was the one she was talking to, until he answered. Tutoring? Wasn't he busy enough already? You chuckled as you thought this was an horrible idea, and Eunhee did the same, visibly seeing this as ridiculous as you were.
"What's funny?" he asked Jeongin, not sure to have caught on what made you two laugh.
The young man shrugged, not very interested in the conversation. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."
"It would be during the class period." Eunhee groaned at Chan, seemingly not happy with what she was hearing. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."
“Come on, Chan. We’re barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself.”
“Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing.”
She gave you a look, almost pleading for your help, but you really didn't know what to tell her. So you shrugged your shoulders, and turned back to Youngmi to continue chatting.
“I’ll think about it…” you heard Eunhee say.
Lunch time went on pretty quickly. Youngmi had class, so you walked with her to her course. Your day was pretty much over, and you were planning to hang out with the boys for the evening. But nights at the diner shifted to you and Minho being alone while Chan needed to attend the student association meetings. Either that, or he was too tired and wanted to rest.
Unlike what you would have expected, it didn't affect you as much. Minho was much different than your best friend, there was no doubt. His weird behaviour, though, was odd enough to make you forget that Chan had pretty much abandoned you. He was still consistent with his texts, but you barely actually saw him around, today being an exception.
You joined Minho in front of the restaurant, and didn't bother waiting for Chan since you knew it would only be the two of you. He started to talk about his day and other fun things. But honestly, your focus was not cooperating as you were mostly in your thoughts.
"No, but can you blame anyone? Hyunjin's butt is great." Minho went on with his story-telling.
You mixed your milkshake with your straw in boredom, as you nodded along Minho's talk. "Yeah yeah, Hyunjin's butt is nice."
He raised an eyebrow, offended by your lack of commitment in this one-way discussion. "You're not listening."
"I am! I just told you Hyunjin's butt is nice!"
"Y/N, you've never seen the guy." he rolled his eyes at you.
"That is untrue!" you raised your finger to point at him in defense. "He's the one looking like he was made by angels, right?"
Minho scoffed, a smirk forming. "That would be me, princess." His cockiness almost got to you as you were at loss of words. "And we both know my ass is cuter."
You snorted at his statement. To be fair, you had checked his ass once, and there was no denial that he had a good one. You were not going to feed this ego of his, however. Just then, a ping was heard from your phone.
Chan: Hey! Changbin and I would like to have a little gathering with the others tomorrow. You in?
Y/N: If that means I can finally see you, yes!
Chan: I'm so sorry about that! I had so many meetings and so much work to do. It's supposed to be mostly done, though, so hopefully we can see each other more from now on.
Y/N: Otherwise, I'm complaining to the school that I want my best friend back.
Chan: Stop, you know I'll never leave you.
Chan: See you tomorrow?
Y/N: See you tomorrow.
"Something tells me Channie's the one you're texting." Minho teased.
"Shut you. I could say the same with you texting Byeol earlier."
This spilled out of your mouth without you thinking. You did not understand why it bothered you this much when he was chatting with his ex-girlfriend at the beginning of your night together. It was surely because it was impolite to be on your phone when you're hanging with someone already. Though, you just did the same and he was not bothered at all.
Minho blinked a few times as his eyes were set on you, before he breathed out a huff. "What do you mean?"
You stuttered as you tried to explain yourself. "I-I... She and you were- I meant, earlier today-"
He grinned at your sudden change in attitude. He rarely saw you shy or embarrassed, because you were rarely in this kind of state and also because you were good at hiding your emotions. To say he didn't like it would be a lie. You were damn adorable with the flush on your cheeks, and he had to suppress himself from slipping out a comment about it.
"You were definitely not listening to me earlier, then." You frowned before gesturing for him to continue. "The whole butt thing was because Byeol had accidentally texted me instead of her friend, and she was complimenting Hyunjin's ass in that message. That's why I was laughing then."
"Oh." you breathed out as you nodded your head slowly.
"If it makes you feel any better, I smile much more when you're texting me." he winked.
"Now, for real, you need to shut up."
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Being the first one to get to Chan's dorm, you made yourself at home as you sprawled across his couch, scrolling through your social medias. Chan had plans with Minho and would be coming home with him later, so you hadn't seen him yet. Changbin, however, was there.
"Do you think this is a good plan?" he sighed loudly.
Frankly speaking, you had not listened to one word he said since you were too focused on replaying the cat video Minho had just sent you. "Uh? Yeah. It's an excellent plan." you replied nonchalantly, before chuckling at the video again.
"And, you were not listening." Changbin let out a sigh. "Is this Minho's cat?" he asked, upon seeing the ginger feline on your phone.
"Yeah. Soonie fell off this morning while he was filming him. Poor kitty, but this is quite hilarious. Especially Minho panicking and running to save his child." you went on to explain, a smile still on your face.
"You have it for Minho, now?"
You froze in action from his words. "What?"
He realized that, maybe, he shouldn't have said anything as he scratched his head while awkwardly chuckling. "Forget it."
The doorbell rang and Changbin almost ran to the door to open it. He let Chunhwa in before giving her a big hug. She had brought drinks for the evening, so she straight went to put them in the refrigerator.
"Hey, Y/N!" she waved at you.
"Hi." you smiled. "What did you get for us?"
She raised a pack of beer and a bottle filled with a dark-coloured liquid. "Beers for the guys, and I found this fruit punch thing. I thought we could try it out." she shrugged as she put them down, and pulled a Fanta out of her grocery bag. "And I got this for our Jisung."
"About that." Changbin started. "He won't come tonight. He said something along the lines that Hwayoung was out with some guy and that he didn't want what happened last time to repeat itself."
Last time you hung out all together, Hwayoung had went on a date before joining you and was looking like a wreck. Jisung had to comfort her in Chan's room, and let's say some stuff happened.
"Oh well, I'll have the Fanta, then." you said as you got up to take it from your friend's hand.
Soon enough, the guys came back after they stopped by the convenience store to buy some snacks. While Changbin had already placed the board game on the table, Chunhwa took the time to help Chan out with preparing the ramen soups he bought. Minho sat next to you and thanked the girl as she gave him the food.
"Where is Jisung?" he asked as he started to dig into his soup.
"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin answered, which made you feel bad for him.
"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." you breathed out before the entire room nodded in agreement.
"You're one to say that." Minho said as he nudged your arm.
You glared at him before hitting his arm playfully. You only hoped Chan didn't get what he meant by that. The evening continued as you all picked your pawns to play. You conversed simultaneously since it had been a while since you saw each other. Changbin and Chunhwa were being painfully obvious about their crushes on each other, and Minho kept on bugging you, claiming you were cheating.
"I talked with Eunhee." Chan said, clasping his hands together which took you aback.
"And?" you frowned.
"She accepted my offer. I told you she would."
Your heart sank. No matter when you would talk with him, he always brought her up. Even if you took your feelings out of the situation, it almost looked as if he wasn't your best friend anymore and it hurt. You felt Minho putting a hand on your thigh, probably to bring you some kind of support.
You forced yourself to smile, before managing to say a small "That's great."
You could see that Chan noticed your lack of enthusiasm, but he went on nonetheless. "Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."
"Right." you coughed out as you felt a lump forming in your throat, and Minho was quick to notice as he tightened his grip on you slightly. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho." The boy shot his head up immediately. "Do you mind helping me get some medicine?"
"No, of course." he assured before standing up and offering his hand to help you up.
He gave you a worried smile as you came face to face with him. You didn't know when it started exactly, but he had started to let himself be more vulnerable around you. You almost never saw him having any sort of emotions. Seeing him care this much about you made you feel both weirded out and safe.
Chan watched the scene happen in front of his eyes and frowned in confusion. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"
"No." you immediately shut him up. "I'm okay, really. Thanks."
The poor guy was left even more confused when Minho took you away, bringing you to the bathroom. You both closed the door and you stood in front of each other for a moment without saying anything. While he was waiting for you to talk, you genuinely just wanted to enjoy his presence. But as the silence grew, Minho finally decided to break it.
"You could have asked Chunhwa to help you." he said, since he didn't why exactly you chose him to comfort you.
You shrugged, not too sure either. "You were the first person I thought of at the moment. I mean, you had a pretty strong grip on my thigh."
He coughed awkwardly, his ears turning red. "I see. And yeah, sorry about that.
"It's okay. It kind of helped, actually." you admitted.
Another silence took over, but he was the first to speak again. "Do you want me to talk to him?"
Your eyes widened at his proposition. "Are you crazy? Don't do that."
"No, I won't tell him about your crush, or whatever. I can mention to him that it's annoying that he only talks about her." he shrugged his shoulders.
"Min, we both only talk about Chan whenever we are together." you stated the obvious. "I bet you are more annoyed about that."
"Fair enough, but you don't bring up how talented and amazing he is every two seconds."
You laughed at this, and it visibly made Minho relax. If he managed to make you smile a little, that was good enough for him.
"Still, you don't need to do that. It's just as if I'm losing a friend, that's all."
"Do you want to go back home? I can walk you there."
You hummed quietly while nodding a yes slowly. "Actually, yes, that would be nice."
He took a step closer before rubbing the side of your arm, not forgetting to replace the hair that had fallen onto your face as well. "Then, we shall take you home, princess."
You hoped he didn't feel your heartbeat fasten its pace, nor your heavy breathing. He was never a physical person, and his touch felt electrifying. You knew damn well he was only doing this for you to feel better about your whole situation with your best friend, but you were starting to wonder if a part of him actually enjoyed these kinds of moments.
Your train of thoughts was stopped when he let go of you to open the door again, letting you walk out first. As you joined the others, you saw Changbin and Chunghwa being in their own world, and Chan giggling at his phone, most likely texting Eunhee. Oddly enough, it did not pain you as much as it did earlier. Somehow, feeling Minho's body hovering behind you in a protective way compensated.
"I'll go home, if you don't mind." you said to nobody in particular.
Chan let go of his phone, while the two others simply gave you a thumbs up before going on with whatever they were doing. "This early?" Chan asked.
"Sorry, I don't feel so well." you attempted a smile.
Chan stood up and joined you at the front door, concern all over his face. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."
You shook you head as a no before gesturing to the man standing behind you. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."
"Alright." he trailed off before he gave you a tight hug. "Let me know if you need anything."
"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" you addressed to the others.
You were quick to leave, and you felt bad Minho had to keep up with your fast walking. Nonetheless, he didn't complain and you found yourself outside of the building soon, breathing in the fresh air.
"What are you going to do for the rest of your night?" Minho asked.
You pondered for a minute, trying to figure out the options in your mind, but nothing came up. "I don't know. Knowing Youngmi, she's already sleeping. That means I can't do much other than sleep too."
"Are you tired?" he asked, and you answered with a no. "My place is close to yours, if you want to hang out."
You never went over at his, meaning you never met his cats. This was a good opportunity to get some cuddles with them, that only if Minho allowed you.
"Do I get to snuggle with Soonie, Doongie and Dori?"
He frowned. "Who do you think you are? Some privileged woman? The cats are off-limit." To that, you pouted at him. "Y/N, no."
"You want to me to feel better or not?"
"You seem to be doing good, now."
"Min, pretty please." you whined like a child.
He let out a sigh, deadpanning at you. "Fine. Not more than an hour of cuddles, though."
Feeling victorious, you took his hand and dragged him rapidly to his dorm. He almost fell from your sudden excitement, which took him by surprise. You were especially strong for someone who barely did anything else than study and work. At his building, he took the lead since you didn't know where he lived exactly. He let you inside first, being the well-mannered man he is, and you were greeted by an orange ball of floof who was visibly confused upon seeing someone who is not Minho.
"Doongie." he said before pointing to the other orange cat who was sitting on the cat tree in the corner of the room. "Soonie. And I have no idea where Dori is."
"You sent me so many photos of them, I would have recognized them without your help."
He sent a glare your way. "Just be grateful you get to meet them."
"Yes, thank you, Min." you laughed before crouching down to pet the cat. "Hello, Doongie." you cooed at him.
Minho huffed at the sight. His cat seemed to be liking you a lot. He went to Soonie, only to see Dori jumping on the cat tree to join his brother. He patted their heads lovingly. At least, he still had those two who didn't betray him. However, he realized he spoke too soon when you joined him to scratch the cats' bellies.
"You traitors." he muttered at his children. "It looks like they love you more than me."
"I'm just that much likeable." you teased.
"Sure you are, kitten."
Your eyes widened as realization hit you. "You call me kitten because of your cats?"
"Why else?" he shrugged as if it was nothing. "I like cats and I like you. This is only logical."
Your eyes went even wider, your heartbeat pacing faster. Did he just tell you he liked you? The Lee Minho who was known to be the most detached person on Earth, the one who never showed his true emotions?
"You like me?" you breathed out.
He rolled his eyes at you. "You're my friend, of couse I like you."
Oh. He meant that kind of liking. You were not certain on why it disappointed you so much. You thought you liked Chan. Well, you did, but ever since Minho came in the picture, you didn't know if you were starting to lie to yourself about your feelings for your best friend.
"Wow, Minho is finally admitting he actually likes having me around."
"Don't let it get into your head too much. This only happened because Chan's busy." he scoffed as he walked to the cupboard in his kitchen. "Now, do you want to feed the kitties?"
You didn't think twice before hopping to join him. You helped him serve the cat food and put it on the ground. You observed them eat together, as you petted their backs. He was babying Dori and Doongie, while you were spoiling Soonie with scratches. Needless to say, you felt like you were two parents watching over their children. And it felt strangely comfortable. If someone told you months prior that you would be in Minho's apartment, feeding his cats, and feeling like you wished it'd be like this all the time, you would not believe them. Because you couldn't quite believe it at this instant.
"Did you want to do something in particular?" you asked after the cats were done eating.
"Hmm." he hummed, thinking for a moment. "We could watch a movie. I have some drinks if you want to do that while watching."
"Sounds good to me."
You opted for a comedy movie while Minho prepared the popcorn and the drinks. You both had already drank a little when you were at Chan's, but some more couldn't hurt. Mid-way through the film, you were already feeling tired and tipsy. Way more than tipsy. Of course, Minho noticed since you were starting to lean on him. He tried to move away, but it was like you were trying to absolutely have some sort of physical contact with him.
"Bruh." he spat out when you were now full on laying on him.
"Uh?" you said as your eyes fluttered opened. "Ah, sorry, Min. I'm just very tired."
"Yeah, it's fine."
"Do you mind if I sleep here for tonight?" you mumbled out and Minho froze.
Normally, he would have kicked you out at that point without any second thoughts. However, your pleading eyes with your tired figure did something to him, and he couldn't just say no to you.
"I'll take the couch."
You pouted before shaking your head violently. "Sleep in your bed. I'll stay here."
"Y/N, you're not okay. Sleep in my bed."
"Or we can sleep together."
You took his lack of answer as a yes, and stood up on your feet clumsily. Luckily, he caught you in time before you tripped on yourself. You grabbed onto him to find some balance as he led you carefully to his bed. Once he tucked you in, he was about to leave, but you took his wrist to stop him.
"I said we can sleep together."
"I'll just wash up, I'll be back."
"Do you have cucumbers?"
He looked at you weirdly. Sure, you were drunk, but this was so random. You explained briefly it was for a skin care routine you wanted to do to relax. Although it now made sense, he didn't quite understand why you wanted to pamper yourself while being so tired. Nonetheless, he obliged and brought you sliced cucumbers.
"I'll go shower while you do your thingy."
"I'll wait for you."
Your behaviour was strange, but you were awfully cute and you smiled widely at him, hurrying him to go wash. He absolutely adored it, but he knew this was only because you drank. He beat himself up for wanting this to be genuine. The picture of you waiting for him to go to bed and falling asleep together was more than appealing to him. However, he had to remind himself that you liked Chan, and that you'd known the latter for years. He could never do that, come in-between the two of you. He finished his shower thoughts by simply telling himself to get over it. He didn't like you. He couldn't like you. Not like that.
When he came back in his room, he was met with the image of you watching a kids show on his personal TV. Some people would act like horny jerks when drunk, but you were a total child. Alongside with you was Dori, whom you had somehow managed to kidnap to cuddle with. Minho loved it. But he couldn't.
"You didn't use the cucumbers." he pointed to the plate, still full of the vegetable.
"I told you I'd wait for you."
He quirked an eyebrow, starting to see where this was going. "I am not doing some self-care shit with you."
"Min..." you pouted.
"No."
You patted the empty side of the bed and, lazily, Minho sat down as he was still glaring at you.
"Please."
"I'm going to sleep."
You huffed. "You're no fun. Chan would have done it."
Oh, how wrong was it of you to say that. It awoke something in Minho. Whether it was jealousy or pride, he didn't know, but he knew he didn't like it. Instantly, he picked two cucumbers and placed them on your cheeks.
"There. Happy?" he grumbled.
"Very much." you giggled. "Your turn."
You spent the next hour or so playing with cucumber slices, either throwing them at each other, eating them, or shoving them on Minho's eyes. It might had been the first time you saw him genuinely having fun. Not cocky or insufferable like he usually was. He was at ease, and so you were.
It was around 1am when you both grew too tired to continue your self-care session. You snuggled into the blankets and brought yourself closer to the man laying next to you. He stood still as he looked right back at you. He didn't stop himself from reaching out to the side of your face, patting your head.
"Thank you for tonight." you mumbled tiredly. "I think I like you too."
He immediately caught on that you were referring to your previous conversation. Fortunately, because otherwise, he would have went on full panic mode.
"That's good, pretty. Sleep well, alright?"
"You too, Min."
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You and Minho were definitely no longer friends after that night, but nor had you stopped speaking to each other. Quite the opposite, actually. Think of any act of affection a couple would do, other than kissing, and there you got what was happening between the two of you. Chan had almost disappeared, now spending most of his time with Eunhee. You did visit him occasionally to make sure he wasn't exhausting himself too much but it never lasted more than five minutes. That also meant your crush on him had completely vanished. It couldn't have stayed for long, anyway, after you woke up in Minho's bed that morning, realizing you had fallen in love with him instead.
"Strawberry." Minho said, standing up firmly for his choice of milkshake, as he nudged your arm.
"Chocolate." you said, coming closer to his face.
He sighed in frustration. "We had chocolate last time."
"If you're so pressed with your strawberry, just order one for yourself."
He smirked. "But you want us to share, don't you?"
It was annoying how right he was, and you huffed in defeat. "Strawberry it is."
"There you go. I knew you were going to give up."
"Shut up."
He took you by the waist and brought you closer, as if you were not close enough already on the small cushioned bench. You continued to bicker playfully, when you heard the front door's bell. Turning your attention on where the sound came from, you easily spotted Chan. He stood still, baffled at the sight in front of him. He started to question himself mentally, wondering if he had really cancelled on you two that much that he didn't notice you were dating. Coming back to his senses, he walked to your booth and sat in front of you.
"Hey, guys. Am I interrupting, or..?"
"Of course not." Minho exclaimed. "Glad to see you after, I don't know how long."
You could hear the pettiness in his voice, so you hit him slightly with your elbow before speaking. "We've all been busy, it's okay." you smiled. "So, what's new? How are things with Eunhee?"
"It's good, I guess. We had a... moment, and she is pretty much ignoring me since then. You know, when you came over the other day." he explained, while looking pretty clueless.
"What kind of moment?" Minho asked, stretching his arm out to wrap it around you, which earned a look from Chan.
"Uh, I'm not too sure. We danced in my room-"
You cut him off with a laugh, and he glared at you. "That's the cheesiest thing you could have done. No shit you were acting weird when I came over." you snickered, and Minho soon joined you as he tried to ignore the slight jealousy he felt from learning you went over to Chan's recently.
"Yeah, you two are no better. You were all over each other when I walked in." he rolled his eyes.
That was enough to shut the both of you, knowing well this was an unspoken thing you had going on. You never brought it up, and didn't intend on doing so anytime soon.
"So." Minho coughed out awkwardly. "Your moment?"
"Right." Chan nodded. "Well, we were dancing in my room and, I don't know what happened, but I almost kissed her. And, I don't know, she didn't look like she wanted to, so I back off. And now, I'm lowkey stressing out about it because I surely didn't want to make her uncomfortable."
"She wanted you to kiss her." you responded without hesitation.
"You think so?"
"Chan, I know so." You hesitated to continue with your point, but feeling Minho's hand rubbing your arm let you know it might be time to tell him. "I'm convinced she likes you, because she acts the same way as I did with you."
He frowned his eyebrows. "You like me? Aren't you and Minho... well, you know?"
"I used to, and that's not important." you dismissed the topic. "What I'm saying is she keeps sending you memes to make you smile, she gets shy around you, she said yes to your tutoring..."
"And you told me she even bought you coffee for one of your lessons with her." Minho added.
He looked at you both, still uncertain. "Should I invite her to my party, then?"
"What party?"
"My end of the school term party. In two days."
"Go for it, yeah." Minho encouraged. "Are we invited?"
"If you promise to keep it in your pants, yes."
Right. A party. With girls. And Minho. The guy who hooked up here and there after his breakup with Byeol. The same one you were currently in love with. Great.
"You know me better." he laughed with Chan. "I'll behave, I promise."
Later, on the walk back to Minho's, since you had planned to stay at his place, you were more quiet than usual. You were holding hands, but your grip was loose, and you couldn't focus properly.
"What's wrong, kitten?" he asked worriedly.
"What do you think of Siyeon?" you said, mentioning a pretty girl in your common class.
"What is this question?" he chuckled, not sure in where you were going with this.
"She's cute, has good grades, is nice to everyone. And Chan is going to invite her at the party, probably."
He raised an eyebrow at you. "Your point?"
"You could ask her out." you shrugged.
With that, Minho let go of your hand. "I could, but I won't."
"Why? Sorry, but it just hit me that you haven't gone out with someone in a very long time."
"I don't know. I suppose I'm not very in the mood of fucking around anymore. You also stopped talking about Chan with me. I'm not the only one acting differently." he pointed out.
"I said it earlier, I don't like Chan anymore." you rolled your eyes.
"Well, then. Our romantic lives are bland."
"They are."
The conversation was cut short as he didn't have anything else to say. He took your hand again, and led you to his dorm. You got there pretty quickly, and you still hadn't said a word to each other. It didn't mean you didn't understand what was happening, both of you implying the lack of love you had could only mean one thing.
The moment he closed his front door, he grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer and crashed his lips onto yours. You were taken aback at first, not sure on how you should be reacting, but it quickly faded as you melted into the kiss. While he was needy, he was also being extremely gentle with you, making sure he didn't hurt you in any way. It didn't take long for you to get to his room, and he pushed you down gently on the bed. Now hovering you, he deepened the kiss before moving down to place small pecks on your neck.
"Min." you mumbled between heavy breaths, and he hummed against your skin. "This is not a joke, right?"
He separated his mouth from your skin to look at you curiously. "What do you mean?"
"You used to be very... physical with other girls. I just want to make sure I'm not some doll you're playing with before throwing it away."
He looked at you with fondness as he stroke your cheek softly. "I thought I made it clear I've wanted you for months, now. Not just physically, like you said." He pecked your forehead. "If I can have you." Kissed your cheek. "I don't want the skin ship only, this time." He stopped as he glanced at your lips. "I want all of you."
You were the one to initiate this time when you brought him closer, kissing him hungrily. The unspoken tension there was before was no longer there. It was like kissing each other had dropped all of your walls, and you were now fully exposed to one another.
"I fucking hated it when you cried about Chan." he said in-between the kisses.
"Really?"
"Fuck, yes." he said, going back to sucking your neck.
"I hated how much you flirted with me, knowing you weren't sincere." you admitted.
"Trust me, kitten, I was fucking sincere."
You started to play with the hem of his shirt, tugging in a few times. He backed away and smirked at you before leading your hands to help him take off his shirt. The sight in front of you was mesmerizing. You already had the idea that he had a good body because of his dancing, but you certainly did not expect him to look this hot.
"Damn." you let out without thinking.
"I know, I'm hot." he winked at you.
"Of course, you know." you rolled your eyes.
"I'm joking." he chuckled as he pecked your lips. "Are you okay if we continue? I want you to feel comfortable."
"I'm more than okay."
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The party started out well. You had come in advance to help Chan with the preparations, but mostly to help him calm down. The poor guy was so nervous, not knowing whether Eunhee was going to show up or not.
As people kept coming in, you kept on looking out for any signs of Minho. He texted you he had some errands to run for the cats before coming, but you just wanted to see him. After your night together, you spent the next two days doing finals which didn't allow you to meet up again. The morning after, however, he did ask you out on a date to which you gladly said yes. Although labels were not discussed, it wasn't necessary because you both knew you wanted the same thing.
"Hey, Seungmin!" you welcomed the man as you opened the door.
"Still acting like Chan's place is yours?" he joked.
"I've come here so much, it's like my second home." you laughed with him. "Come on in!"
You joined Chan back in the kitchen as he was starting to prepare the snacks. You started helping him out, though you were very much distracted. Looking at your phone every minute or so, Chan pointed it out, making fun of you.
"You tell me to stop doing that with Eunhee, and you're doing the same with Minho."
You froze in place before slowly turning your head to him. "I never told you I was seeing Minho."
"Y/N, you two have been eye fucking each other for weeks. It did surprise me, but I'm not blind. You love him."
You blushed, as shyness crept over. "Yeah, he's really great."
"I can see that. I haven't see you so happy since, well, since forever actually. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you, Channie."
You exchanged smiles before going back to preparing the food. It felt great to spend some quality time with him after such a long time.
"You two fucked, haven't you?"
Your eyes widened from his words.
"Chan!"
"What?" he said innocently. "You have dark spots on your neck, that's all."
You grew embarrassed, but couldn't help but laugh. You haven't noticed until now that Minho had marked you that much. You thought he was being gentle enough to not have done so, but it was visibly the opposite. Just then, you noticed a familiar figure appear in front of you, which made the both of you shut up.
"HI! Eunhee, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan spilled out, straightening his posture.
Trying to prevent him from embarrassing himself any further, you hit him slightly with your elbow to shut him up before turning your attention to the girl in front of you. "Good to see you."
"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting." she flickered her gaze between the two.
"Of course not!" you both denied, not wanting to give her the wrong image.
Chan stood there awkwardly before starting to walk away. "I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" he told her, and you gave him a look as to ask him what he was doing.
You didn't know what to say to her. Seriously, it was Chan's responsibility to talk to her and fix whatever happened between them. You just kept on pouring bowls of chips, but ended up speaking.
"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."
It came pettier than what you had intended, but at least the message was there.
"It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons." she justified, but you shook your head for her to stop.
"I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." You hesitated to keep going, afraid you would be saying something you shouldn't. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."
Her silence was torturing you as she was processing everything you told her. You replayed the scene in your mind, trying to spot anything you could have said wrongly. But nothing came to you.
"I came here to fix things with him." she finally spoke. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."
You had definitely fucked up by indirectly mentioning your former crush on the guy. This was obviously not the outcome you were expecting, you simply wanted to let her know that Chan was precious and needed to be taken care of even when he didn't want to.
"No, I-"
"It's okay, Y/N. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."
She left before you could explain any further. You cursed under your breath as you tried to catch up to her. However, you were stopped when someone brought you into a hug before familiar lips met yours.
"Hey, there." Minho grinned at you. "You're looking beautiful."
While your heart wanted to stay with him and melt at his compliments, your mind knew you had to make things right with Eunhee.
"Thank you, Min. I have to do something real quick. Do you mind getting me a drink in the meantime?" you pecked his cheek. "I'll be right back, okay?"
"Alright." he nodded before bringing you into another hug. He leaned on your side so his mouth could be next to your ear. "I'm sorry about the hickeys, by the way."
And he left. He was surely making you feel things, but now was not the moment. You walked through the crowd of people, trying to find Eunhee, but you simply couldn't as there were too many people. Looking behind you, your eyes laid on Chan, alone in the kitchen. You went to him as fast as you could.
"Chan!" you exclaimed out of breath. "Have you seen Eunhee?"
When you took a better look at him, his face had nothing but confusion, sadness, and pure anger.
"What did you say to her?"
And, you were fucked. You shut your eyes closed, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for the argument that you felt was coming. Chan was rarely mad, but you did not want to be around when he was. Now that he was actually pissed, it was even worse that it was at you.
"So you saw her."
Chan rolled his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing. "She said you were waiting for me in the kitchen. What have you told her?"
"Nothing untrue, I swear." you breathed out, trying to be careful with your words. "I think she misinterpreted a lot of what I said."
"What did you say exactly?" he asked again, growing impatient.
You took a deep breath in, and searched for any help around, but everyone was having fun and Minho was nowhere to be seen. "I might have spilled out I had a crush on you, but she took it as if I still do." He groaned in frustration, passing his hand through his curly locks. "I also said you like her, and I might have mentioned that you two being together could potentially end up hurting the both of you..."
If you thought he was furious earlier, now he was on full rage mode. Honestly, you had never seen him so mad, and it frightened you quite a bit.
"Why on Earth would tell her that?" he almost growled at you.
"Why? For fuck's sake, Chan, how was I supposed to know what to tell her? You left me there because you were too much of a baby to face her yourself." you snapped at him, which he had seemingly not expected.
"You know me enough to not say shit like that! And I am hosting this whole thing and I saw people coming in. It was the least I could do."
"Fuck off with your lame excuse, because we both know Changbin was already doing so. And for your information, I don't know you as well as I used to because sir decided to disappear out of my life."
He huffed at you as he looked around. He was lost and didn't know what to do now.
"Yeah, I told you already that I'm sorry. But if you love me so much, you wouldn't have told her off by saying you have a crush on me." he yelled out, being heard by almost everyone in the room.
Behind him, you spotted Minho's eyes already staring at you. He was fuming too, walking towards your direction. You didn't know whether he was angry because of you or Chan, but you were definitely worried at that point.
"Y/N." he called out.
"Minho, can we not-"
"So it's Minho, now?" You exhaled loudly, wondering how the night had even taken this turn. "I thought you said you were over him."
"Minho, stay out of this." Chan put his arm in front of him to prevent him from approaching you any closer.
You recognized the protectiveness Chan had of you within his tone, which reassured you a bit that he still cared, at least. Minho didn't fight back, but sent you a disappointed look instead.
"I'll leave you to it, then."
With that, he stormed out of the apartment, not looking back. Meanwhile, the tears you had been holding back until then flooded out and you broke down as Chan held you.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, it's my fault."
The softness he had after being so enraged took you by surprise, but you truly needed your best friend at the moment. "I'm sorry." you sobbed out.
"Y/N, it's okay. Don't be sorry. You know I can be pretty stupid, right?" he pat your head, and you nodded as a small laugh left your mouth. "I'm the one at fault, here. I should have talked to Eunhee myself, and I shouldn't have yelled at you. Minho is very sensitive, you know that, right? He'll come around, I'm sure of it."
It amazed you how he was still able to find the right words for any circumstances. You loved him, for real. But not that kind of love. This one was reserved for Minho. The only thing on your mind was to run after him. You hurt him, and you couldn't bear with the thought.
"Thank you, Chan. I'm also sorry."
He shook his head. "I told you to stop saying that." It made you chuckle.
"Do you think I should go after him?"
He smirked. "Go get your damsel in distress."
Still sobbing, you snorted at his words before you hurried to get out of his apartment. You felt grateful to have went so many times to his place to know his dorm number. Otherwise, you would have given up much quicker. You stopped in front of his door and knocked softly. You heard someone moving from the other side, and heard a sigh.
"Min." you called out.
To your shock, he opened the door, only a bit, and looked at you. He looked tired, and you noticed he had changed into his pyjamas. He hummed as a greeting, obviously still mad at what happened.
"Can we talk?"
He really didn't want to, but your puffy red eyes and simply the sight of you was enough to break him apart. So he let you in. You smiled widely when you were greeted by your favourite cats. You scratched their heads briefly, before turning your attention back on Minho. He was leaning on his counter (which was hot, let's be honest) and crossed his arms as he waited for you to talk.
"I really and certainly do not like Chan."
"Reassuring." he commented, but received a glare from you to tell him to let you speak.
"What happened was he left me alone with Eunhee and I said some things to her that she interpreted as if I still liked him. Chan got mad and he impulsively said that. I told him about us already, he knows."
He frowned at your words. "Us."
"Yeah, us." you repeated, taking a chance by walking up to him.
Thankfully, he let you place yourself right in front of him. He uncrossed his legs so you could have some space, and you approached him. You took his face in your hands, looking at him lovingly.
"What did you tell him about us, precisely?" he asked, placing his hands on your waist.
"I told him that you're great."
"Just that?"
"He knows we fucked."
He raised his eyebrows as he looked up. "Should have expected that."
You slapped his cheek playfully as you pouted, and he chuckled because you were just adorable. "Shut up."
"Sorry. Go on?" he laughed.
You got closer to him, your lips lingering over his. He would have kissed you, but he wanted to hear what you had left to say.
"And I admitted that I might love you."
He backed away, not having expected this. "Love?"
You sighed. "Dude, we've been acting like a couple for months, and we see each other pretty much every day. Don't act surprised."
He frowned even more. "Dude? Really? I call you princess, kitten, or pretty. And I get dude."
"Min." you whined, but he could only laugh.
He loved messing around with you, but he knew when to stop. "I'll be dude if that's what makes you happy, love."
You grinned from ear to ear. "Shall I take this as you love me too?"
"Don't make me say it, kitten."
You chuckled and played with his hair. He adjusted his posture and was now the one hovering you. His eyes went straight to your lips, and he didn't ask to kiss you before doing so. You smiled and kissed him back, not forgetting to hold him close.
"I fucking won over Bang Chan." he bragged after pulling away from you.
"That was an easy win." you snorted.
"Ah yeah? Am I that irresistible?"
"You know you are."
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leahrintarou · 8 months
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☠︎︎ DAY TWENTY-SIX: OVERSTIMULATION FT. ATSUMU
☠︎︎ WARNINGS: fwb relationship, best friends, no penetration, female stimulation, teasing, fem reader
☠︎︎ WORD COUNT: 1.3k
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y/n's eye's darted up from the screen of her laptop and to the entrance of her bedroom's door after hearing it swing open with such force. "we lost" she heard the blonde announce before closing the door behind himself. "and you're smiling about it?" y/n questioned, still a bit pissed about his sudden barge into her home. "it was a fun game, i don't mind losing, after all, i got to play with some people i knew from high school"
y/n only sighed, before feeling the slight and sudden pressure on the area of her bed that atsumu decided to lay back on. "i could've introduced you but, you never come to my games to watch me play anyways" he frowned, eye's slightly glaring at y/n's uninterested expression. "you want me to watch you lose?" she looked up from her laptop to meet atsumu's gaze, smiling when the evidence of his pissed off state became visible on his features.
"i always come to your stupid student occasions. every one that you've taken for each semester too. despite them being so boring-"
he let out an unexpected whine when y/n's hand collided with his shoulder, leaving a stinging pain behind. "you always tell me how each of your games go, anyway. so, just fill me in on the shit ton of girls that flirted with you or vice-versa" atsumu groaned at her words before sitting up to remove her laptop from it's place on her thighs. "you know i'm not like that anymore, n/n"
"oh, really? i thought you were" atsumu couldn't tell whether she was using sarcasm or not but knowing y/n well enough, it was probably the first option. "you act like you wouldn't fall for me if i actually tried to date you"
"i wouldn't, you're basically a manwhore" she reached for her laptop, pulling it back into her lap so she could focus her attention back onto it. "aw, call me that again" he laughed when y/n' attempted to throw a pillow directly toward his face. "shut up, tsumu"
she calmed down, eventually, finally being able to voice a question. "so..are you going to tell me why you just bursted into my room without calling me?" she questioned. "well, you did give me a key to your apartment which means you're comfortable enough with me catching you doing basically anything. and i also just came here to see you"
y/n glared at his own calmly natured gaze, struggling to look away from him. with the sound of a notification from her phone, she was thankful that it finally snapped her out of her daze. atsumu would always have that affect on her, whether it was intentional or not. everything he did, basically mezmorized her which is why most of the time, she words slick insult or comments just to avoid him from becoming too relaxed.
"well, you saw me. what do you want to do?" she asked. "I'm not sure yet" atsumu was trapped in thought and his sudden silence made y/n look up to admire his features. he felt her gaze but decided to ignore it. that was until, it shifted onto his lips and his lips only. thoughts raced through y/n's head when she saw him smile, immediately forcing herself to look away and back to her laptop. "i feel you staring, pretty"
"fuck off, I just spaced out"
"really? what were you thinking about?"
she didn't reply and only kept her focus onto the screen of her laptop, contemplating whether or not she should insert some earbuds too. just so she could ignore the rising tension that was only being built up more and more in the atmosphere of her room, once again, atsumu removed her laptop from her lap, replacing it with his head, resting it there while his hand caressed the side of her thigh.
"tsumu, i have to finish my assignment. its due in a few hours" she explained reaching for it. he lifted his head before grabbing y/n's wrist. "then why've you been staring at the blank screen for so long?. clearly you're thinking about anything but that assignment." atsumu eventually sat up properly, before leaning closer to y/n, just barely grazing his lips over hers. he immediately pulled away when he felt her attempt to pull him in closer. "i guess it's too bad that i'm a manwhore, though"
"atsumu" y/n groaned, finally having enough of his teasing. "aw, dropped the nickname, already?" he frowned and just before y/n could speak, he properly leaned in, this time fully pressing his lips against her own. his lips moved as if he didn't have a care in the world and in this moment it felt as if he really didn't. "do you want more, n/n?" he smirked against her after inhaling a sharp breath when she purposely bit his lip.
"don't get all cocky, tsumu"
but despite wanting to keep her pride, the heat that rose between her thighs had other plans to which she couldn't help but follow. atsumu moved next to y/n, resting his back on the headboard before urging her to sit between his legs, her back resting against his chest. atsumu placed small kisses and actions of affection onto her shoulders, the lack of attention where she needed it the most almost making her want to groan from frustration. his hands made its way under the layered hems of her pants and underwear, erupting a satisfied sigh from y/n.
"i think im allowed to be cocky since you get so excited over my slightest touch"
before y/n could speak, the pads of atsumu's digits pressed directly against her bud, making her hold back her word's to avoid it coming out as a pleasured moan. atsumu kept an unsteady and patterned pace just to tease y/n enough so she'd voice her frustration of impatience. he smiled when a whimper left her lips after he purposely slowed his movement. "what's wrong, n/n?"
"you're teasing"
"i know" he smiled, suddenly building up a speed that immediately caught y/n off guard. small moans erupted from her throat when she felt like holding back was just going to make the situation more frustrating. atsumu smiled at her uncontrolled actions, her hips jerked up against his hand, her chest heavied repeatedly, and her legs so desperately wanted to wrap around his wrist. and with another lasting fast pace of atsumu's fingers against y/n's bud, her head leaning back onto his shoulder as her unexpected and fastly arriving peak was finally drawn out of her.
she tried to steady her breathing but quickly failed when atsumu only continued.
"again" he mumbled against her ear. y/n wasn't even sure if she could manage to build up the now overwhelming pleasure in such a small amount of time but the way atsumu's words sounding so confident, she had a little hope. she reached for his wrist to slightly slow his movements so she'd be able to relax against his touch for at least a second. y/n felt relief when atsumu complied but, not without a bit of reluctance. "tsumu"
he hummed at her words, when her hand's rested on his thighs to somehow ground herself to reality. his touches were overwhelmingly pleasure filled. his free hand griped her waist to cease her jerking movements as a continuous stream of moans were laced into her warning's over her second orgasm's arrival. her words only sent excitement through the entirety of atsumu's body, and a smile formed on his lips when her grip on his thighs tightened, her legs closely and suddenly encasing his wrist.
"am i still a manwhore, n/n?" atsumu asked, the pacing of his fingers still continuing at a normal pace. he awaited for y/n's answer to decide whether or not if he should draw yet another orgasm from her already sensitive figure.
"yes...tsumu, wait-"
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lying-on-floors · 2 months
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I've seen people say that Loser Baby is comparing gambling addiction to abuse but it actually isn't. It's a song about solidarity between two broken people. It's a song that says, "hey, I know life is shit but you don't have to go through it alone." It's a song that says, "I'm here for you, anytime you need." It's a song that says, "I care about you."
Despite Charlie coming from a good place, she accidently made things worse, which does happen in real life when people try to help the abused, so, he was probably embarrased and terrified. Husk didn't mention much about the absue Angel is facing, he knows it's not his place, and that's what Angel needed, the reminder that he is a person, no matter how fucked up, outside of his abuser.
A common pattern in cases of abuse is that the victim doesn't stand up for themselves or fight back against their abuser because of immense fear. As someone who has been experincing abuse by the hands of a caregiver for almost NINE years now, I know this fear very well.
(TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE) The other day, my abuser and I were arguing, not an uncommon occurence, but I said "says you" as a response to them calling me a bitch and they were silent for a few seconds, staring at me with hatered and while I was walking away, they grabbed me by the chin and pushed me into the couch, on top of our dogs by the way, and they held me down with their weight, calling me direspectful and just being overall threatning. I was struggling to get up because no one likes being held down against their will, but I couldn't because they were able to easily overpower me, so I told them to get off of me or I will slap them, they laughed and didn't move, so, I slapped them and when I relaized what I just did, my heart stopped and I could feel terror take over my body. They were so shocked that they moved off of me and stared at me like I did that unprompted. They were pissed and told me to get up, and I didn't, because I knew they wanted to beat me across the face, and I didn't want that, so I froze and said "no." Afterwards, they began twisiting the whole thing, making it seem like I started it because "I don't know when to shut up."
After it was done, I didn't cry or show any feelings other than indifference, not because it didn't affect me, it obviously did, but because my mind and body were in survival mode, and it couldn't let me dwell on anything or process my feelings or what happened to me until after I was safe. And it didn't suprise me that they did what they did, as it's happened so many times before, but I was still scared and if it was anyone other than my abuser, I would've immediately fought back, no hesitation. They still haven't apologized, they never do, and when they do, it feels so ingenuine. They also say "I love you" but it feels so empty because you don't love someone and treat them that way.
Fighting your abuser is a lot harder when you love them, and sometimes it's better, and safer, to help the victims feel less alone than it is to take action against their abuser for them.
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vampworks · 8 months
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Starved of you
Pairing: Billy Loomis x Fem Reader x Stu Macher
word count 1.7k
No use of y/n
Summary: The reader is dragged to Stu's party by the girls to fix Sid's relationship but She is in a secret relationship with Billy and Stu. She is here to break it off but gets distracted by Billy while he becomes obsessed with her. He struggles with his feelings for her and how she affects the plan.
Warnings: mention of alcohol and drug use, cheating(not on the reader), mention of murder, toxic behavior, intimacy
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Music blares through the room threatening to shake the house itself. The air was stuffy and crowded her senses. She couldn't seem to care as Tatum dragged her by the arm through the door. The blonde soon disappeared into the crowd following Sid afterward. This was the night she set things right before the world as she knew would crumble. Dramatic, but what else equates to sneaking around with your best friends behind their girlfriends' backs? A masked serial killer fits into this somewhere, maybe it was karma for what got her here in the first place. The plan was simple, break it off with them both, leave early and everything would go back to normal. Getting Stu and Billy alone for something serious was always a difficult task. Pulling off your own arm seemed easier. She decided to settle it one at a time. Billy would be easier as the other would only tease her endlessly for it and she'd end up in his bed again.
Stu's eyes grew wide as he spotted her in the crowd of sweaty teens. He shoves his accomplice harshly in the arm. Subtlety be damned, he thought, Hell was about to raise for everyone. "Dude...Dude..we got a party crasher.'' Billy rolled his eyes still turning away from him. "Like you care, they'll run like everyone else. He scoffed. ''Yeah maybe but dumb and dumber will follow too" Stu whispered. Billy thinks for a moment before it clicks. "The hell you mean, man? She's not coming. Her parents....." It was Stu's turn to roll his eyes as he shoved Billy around to see the girl wandering through the crowd. She waves with a smile after spotting the two of them. "Shit" he hisses. " I'll handle it" He whispers as the two waves back. "You better, Princess over there is at the center of all this," Stu says through gritted teeth. "Just take care of the dumb blonde'' Billy retorts. He shoots a glare behind him as he pushes through the crowd to meet the only girl either of them wants. "Hey, you." Billy beamed almost comically in an attempt to recover the control he'd lost just by seeing her. His out-of-character enthusiasm was a bit offputting making her take a step back. He cringed at his own actions, She always had a way of destroying the persona he worked so hard to build. He loved but hated it at the same time.
"Can we talk please?" She said in a hushed tone already pulling him towards the stairs with a nervous expression. 'Shit, I'm screwed' He thought. Billy panics trying to rethink the entire night he spent a year planning for. "Yeah, yeah. Sure, Doll." His eyes darted across the hallway. They brightened as he made a sharp turn and pulled her into Stu's bedroom. The large room was dark except for a poorly hung string of lights across the ceiling. The gaze in his dark eyes was unforgiving as he loomed over her already shaking form. His pupils were blown wide as he searched over her features.
''Ay. What's wrong, Doll?" He fought back his usual smirk from showing as he spoke a concerned tone. "It's Sid, She dragged me out here so I could get you to talk to her. I can't keep lying to her and Tatum is bound to find out eventually. I mean, what if Stu slips up in a joke or something? You've seen him. He flirts so much. Tatum and Sid are still mad about the arrest but she really likes you, Billy. Neither of them would ever forgive me if they knew about us sneaking around behind their backs. What if..." Billy holds back a laugh as he listens to her ramble on.
"How do you feel about me though?" She stopped completely. "What?" The girl’s large eyes stared back into his own in the hope of finding falter in any sense of the word. ''Tell me how you feel about me 'cause I might starve if I can't have you." He struggles to speak plainly. She releases a squeak as she tries to contain herself. This was so far from how she wanted tonight to go. Her heart beats rapidly as silence fills the room. "I...I wanted you since we were little. I mean, funny story..." She begins to ramble again. "I was the one to start that rumor that we were already married in the fifth grade. I gave Stu a dollar and told him to be really loud about it" He laughs and his heart begins to beat like it'll burst. "Ooh, I really shouldn't have said that. Shit." The girl muttered bringing a hand to cover her mouth. Her eyes drift to the door for a moment only to return to meet his stare. His own narrows and his head tilts to the left in thought. "Explains a lot. My mom liked you a lot more after that."
Hundreds of thoughts both perverse and protective crossed his mind as his body acted on its own. This would counteract his plan, she wasn't supposed to come tonight. "God, you're something else, huh." She lets out a nervous laugh while trying to read his expression. Dark brown eyes traveled down the length of her tight dress hidden beneath a large jacket. That goddamn lettermen jacket she had borrowed from some nobody downstairs screamed for nothing but his downfall. He knew his schemes would all but crumble if he gave in to her touch tonight. He has to stay focused or the past year of his life would be wasted. He couldn't think of anyone who wanted to watch a movie about a killer being stopped just for love. The image of her wearing his own jacket flashed in his head. He needed her warmth so badly, it hurt at this point. "Billy, we really shouldn't be in here together" She grabs hold of his forearm in an attempt to keep him at a distance.
She silently begged for the strength to run back through the party never stopping till she made it home as she should. His hands slowly inch toward her. She shivers as his fingers brush against the fabric lining the jacket. His hand continues as it runs down to the small of her waist and rests there. The other cages her between himself and the wall. A small whimper escapes before she can bury it. "We'll be alright" He breathed as he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood to hold himself back. Everything about her was a drug. He could have sworn she was made to kill him from the inside out. He would just have to risk it. He'd be the one to win after all. Might as well, get the girl and get revenge all in one night, he thought. He couldn't understand but her voice is heard as she mutters a slur of curses. It sounds like a song to him at this point far overpowering the blaring music from downstairs in his head.
She watches a devilish smirk widen on his face, the very same that terrorized her so many times as they grew up together. His eyes were now scanning her every move as her hand traveled up and landed on his chest. Billy leans in to whisper in her ear. "Let it all go, princess. I got you." Something in her snaps and she kisses him harshly curling her arms around his neck and pulling him down to her height. Her fingers tangle in his short brown hair as he lifts her. The kisses grow heated quickly as they lose themselves in each other's touch. Their senses filled with nothing but the warmth of their embrace. He tightens his grip on her hip and begins to leave kisses in line from the curve of her jaw and down her neck.
He stops for a moment to smell her perfume. She had always smelled heavenly but tonight, she smelled of beer and whatever drug she's been laced with by god himself. "Billy.." She pleads into his ear. She only receives a hushed groan in response. Her nails graze against his skin as she continues to call his name. He hums against her as he comes back to his senses meeting her eyes once again. The vibration of his voice sends a shiver down her spine making her eyes flutter. His eyes were half-lidded and his breaths staggered and uneven. His lips appeared cherry red and glossy under the soft glow of the lights. She giggles after seeing the dazed look in his eyes. "Damn, I got you this high, Loomis?'' She teases brushing his hair out of his face with a newfound confidence. He gives a breathless laugh and drops his head to rest on her shoulder. "Fuck, I might just overdose on you, princess. Her smile falls as she remembers the world around them. "Maybe then, I'll have you all to myself."
A heavy knock on the door causes her to flinch and tighten her grip on his shoulders "Hey, lovebirds. This room's way past off-limits! Stu shouts from the other side. "Dammit, Stu. it's me" Billy shouts back before turning to the girl with a weak smile. "Well, why didn't you say so. Tell my bunny I love her!" Stu blurted in a singing tone.
She giggles and shakes his head at them both and breaks away from his hold. "'I'll go shut him up, I should get out of here soon. My parents want me back home." He only nods in response bringing up his other hand to rub the back of his neck. He swore he could still feel the touch of her fingers there. She grabbed his hand intertwining her fingers with his larger ones. She pulls his arm taunt toward the door before realizing he's not following her. She turns back to him with a confused look.
"Hey, mind doing me a favor, sweets?" She blushes at the name. "You mind calling Sid up here, I wanna get this over with. You won't have to lie anymore after tonight." The girl smiles at his words as she smooths down the fabric of her dress. "Ok but be gentle about it, alright. Today's been kinda rough for her." He pulls her in for another embrace resting his head on top of hers and speaks in a sickly sweet tone. "I promise, she won't be a problem after tonight." His eyes darken as he stares at the black robe sticking out of Stu's closet.
The rest of the Prescotts had to die tonight, And they would as he and Stu planned. Nothing could keep him from getting his sequel now since he finally had her.
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piplupcola · 1 month
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Some shameless POS literally used AI to steal my friend's animated film
I usually don't post stuff like this but this shit's insane and downright insulting. I graduated from Ringling College of Art and Design in 2022, a pretty well known animation school in the US, and every animation student on their final year of college has to make an animated film for our final thesis. If you have any idea of the animation making process, you would know that making an entire film by yourself in one year is batshit insane and extremely exhausting, to the point where I'm still feeling the effects of the process on my physical and mental wellbeing 2 years after I graduated. Once more, my friends and I did it during the covid period, which was another level of hell. I was literally watching my grandfather's funeral while working in the labs at 2am because I couldn't fly home to attend it because we had to make this film. This film was our lifeblood, the culmination of 4 years of hell at school which was suppose to be our gateway into the industry. Tldr, it's fucking difficult to do, especially on your own.
So imagine 2 years later and I wake up to a bunch of messages on our alumni chat where a dear friend of mine posted a link to a tiktok video of someone literally stealing her entire film and superimpose it shot by shot and claim it as their own ad for their AI game. As animators, we aren't unaware of people stealing our films and reposting them elsewhere. Heck my own film "The End" was stolen from our school vimeo and posted on tiktok BEFORE IT WAS EVEN OFFICIALLY RELEASED, and that tiktok got hundreds of thousands of views while a year after my own real release my film is still struggling in the thousands.
But this
This is a fucking new low.
Can you imagine? A fresh graduate going through literal blood sweat and tears to make a film on their own that is so important to their future in the industry, to get them a job, with a film that represents a part of themselves to the world, just used as fodder for some stupid tech assholes? It's infuriating. It's insulting. It's literally a big fuck you to the hundreds of students who spent their lives toiling to make these films from the heart who are just desperate to get into the industry.
The animation industry right now is in complete shambles. People are graduating from animation schools with thousands of dollars in dept only to be met with a wasteland of minimum wage and lack of funding and competing for jobs with people who have already been in the industry for years affected by the massive layoffs not only in the movie but also the gaming industries. These films we make for our thesis aren't just films made for fun, they represent our lifeblood, our only opportunity to get a job as a graduate in this sea of hell. If you didn't make a good film, chances are you're never even stepping foot in the industry ever. It's our golden ticket that we would put thousands of hours through, sleepless nights and pushing through no matter the circumstances of sickness and pain it caused us.
And now some dumb fucking AI using dickbags see that and decide it's worth nothing.
Here's a link to my friend's real film. Please go watch it and support her work. I'm not even gonna link the other piece of shit tiktok because I don't want that video to even get a single extra view but here's a recording my friend made so you can see this malarkey side by side.
It's heartbreaking to see my friend's film barely getting any views while the stolen garbage is already in the thousands. I hope the person who stole my friend's work and made that shit dies in a fiery car crash and go straight to hell.
I cannot emphasise how we must not let this shit continue to happen. We're living in a fucking dystopia and unless we do something about it and support those affected by it it's only going to get worse. They're already expanded from stealing people's still art to stealing people's entire films, if we don't stop this nothing we create would ever be safe.
My friend's film:
youtube
The shameless fuckheads who stole her film:
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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 3 months
Note
Drabble request (feel free to say no :) )
(Comic) due to the after events of the book, Ambrosius is in the hospital and feels horrible, physically and mentally, and the treatments they are giving him are making him sick and very anxious, so he asks ballister to visit him in hospital, and plays the whole “hopeless romantic” so that he stays and Ambrosius feels better, but ballister can see right through it, and doesn’t want to admit it, but he visits him anyways.
Yippieee!!! Loved this request as I'm working on a longer Ambrosius Hospital Fic rn \(^^)/
I currently still have one req still in the works because I'm struggling to get it started, but it is on it's way! Anyway I hope you enjoy this drabble :,)
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Ambrosius groaned softly. He had no idea how long he'd been here. The doctors said it had been four days, but he didn't really believe that. The painkillers and heavy antibiotics– and maybe also the brain injury– made time melt together. All he ever really looked forward to were visits from Ballister. Ballister had visited him often when he was still hospitalized, but he was discharged at some point. 
Not like he had any reason to visit Ambrosius. Fuck. Everything was such dogshit. The Institution, the thing he dedicated his whole life to, was gone. The King to whom he swore allegiance was dead. Not that any of that mattered, he'd already been demoted to a grunt rank in the Institution because he fucked up at doing the only thing he was supposed to be good at. 
Nobody respected him. Nobody liked him. Certainly nobody loved him. And on top of that, he felt nothing but pain and nausea and confusion all the time. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to vomit, but he did it often. The antibiotics were tearing his guts apart. The beta blockers made him even more weak and exhausted than he was already. The painkillers disoriented him and didn't even seem to do much, and also worked together with the anticonvulsants to make him sick as a dog. He couldn't help but wish that Ballister had just left him in that facility to be disintegrated instantly.
Why did Ballister save him if he wasn't even gonna be here? Was it just to punish him? What was going to happen to him after all this? With no job, unable to walk, unable to see out of one eye, no home, he'd end up back on the streets. He was terrified and woke up crying constantly. He wanted his Ballister here. He wanted Ballister to hold his hand and kiss his forehead and tell him everything would be okay. As if he had any claim to Ballister at all. 
Eventually he couldn't take it anymore, and he weakly dialed the number in his phone.
Ballister had been a wreck ever since he was discharged. He felt guilty about Nimona and Ambrosius and the town and everything. He wanted to be there for Ambrosius, who at this point was all he had left, but in addition to the pain and mixed feelings he suffered whenever he was around, he feared his presence didn't even help. Whenever he sat with Ambrosius, the man looked so guilty and miserable he couldn't meet his eyes. Making Ambrosius feel like shit about himself certainly wouldn't aid in his recovery. Plus, being in hospitals was more than a little triggering for him. He didn't like to see the pain from the worst day of his life reflecting off Ambrosius's face.
But standing around this empty warehouse, without Nimona's snark or laughter, barely felt like anything either.
He jumped when his phone rang with Ambrosius's number. “Hello?” 
“Hiii…” the voice on the other end was weak. “I've missed you, darling.” 
Ballister cleared his throat. “Ambrosius, you should be resting.” 
“How can I possibly rest without you here? I'm sick and in dreadful shape, and the object of my affection isn't even here to distract me with his handsome face.” 
Blushing, Ballister looked down. More guilt, fun. Obviously he was high as a kite while also being at rock bottom. It was obvious what he was doing. He was playing it like he was being cute and flirty, but he was groveling. He was prone on the floor groveling for Ballister’s attention. For him to be there, to hold his hand.
“My darling, if only I could hear your voice and see your face, I certainly would feel better. If you're not busy, that is.” 
Ballister snorted. He never could resist Ambrosius's begging. 
He arrived at the hospital an hour later, and he swore a blue light flickered behind Ambrosius's eye when he saw him. “You came!” He smiled as broadly as he could without ripping the stitches in his cheek. 
“Of course, I couldn't leave my… my beloved gentleman caller all by himself, could I?” He smiled and took his hand. Ambrosius squeezed it.
“I'm happy you're here.” His voice was exhausted. His face said so many things his mouth couldn't.
Ballister stroked his hair. “I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be afraid.”
“If I go to sleep, will you stay? Will you hold my hand until I wake up?” 
A lump caught in Ballister's throat. “Of course I will.”
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jennay · 5 months
Text
Stay Strong
Request: What if the reader has struggled in the past with depression and even attempted suicide. She wants Nick to give her her first tattoo since she wants something that she can look at to continue to push her through her tough times. Noah will be there with her holding her hand while she gets it. He has been her rock and has helped her through her struggles.
Warnings: Talks of Suicide/depression/cursing/angst/regret....not in huge detail but enough to warn.
Master list
An: I lied I posted it tonight. Hope you enjoy this one! I tried to give a background story to make the tattoo more meaningful. If you want to be tagged in future Noah stuff let me know!
I'm still taking request for now too!
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Life hadn't been the kindest to you, and even though you wore a smile on your face and told everyone you were OK, there was a piece of you that felt you would never get better.
How do you cure depression?
The medications made you feel like a zombie, and counseling never seemed to do the trick no matter how hard you tried; every day was a fucking battle, one you didn't want to fight.
The first attempt you made to end your suffering, you were just thirteen. You'd barely experienced the joys of life but had lived through enough trauma to make you not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
The second time, you were fifteen. You spent two weeks in a mental health facility, and you felt you were on top of the world. You would concur life and vowed never to feel that way again.
You hated the look on your mother's face, and you watched Noah slowly back away from you. Seeing how your choices affected your closest friends and family brought more pain.
You promised Noah it wouldn't happen again; he didn't need to fear losing you because you would get better.
It stopped for a few years, and you were convinced you were better, but two years later, your mother passed away, and it all started again. You were devastated, heartbroken. You didn't want to live without her. You moved in with your brother, and life changed completely. No more routine, no more late-night movies, no more mom hugs, and no more mom. Why was life so cruel to you?
A month later, Noah and you lie in bed talking about your dreams, hopes, and plans. You lived talking about these things with him. He always had the biggest ambitions and greatest desires, and then he dropped a bomb on you. He told you he was leaving, and you couldn't handle it.
The idea of living without him puts you in the darkest pits of hell. The one who talked you through things, who made you feel better, your rock, was leaving you to move to a different state. In that moment, you realized no one actually gave a shit about you. Everyone would leave you, and it was only a matter of time. You lied and told him you were happy for him and that someday you'd visit him, but you wouldn't.
Six months after Noah left, you couldn't do it anymore. You didn't want to and couldn't tell your brother. You stopped going to school, you laid in bed and cried. You lost your mother and Noah all in the same year. Life didn't feel worth living.
Noah remembered the day he got the phone call. He thought your brother was lying.
"They don't know if she's going to recover," Ben told Noah. "I don't know what to do or who to call. It's not like our mom and dad are around anymore." He sadly sighed.
Noah took a one-way flight back to you. He didn't know how long he would stay but knew he needed to get home to you.
You woke up in a hospital bed with Noah sleeping next to you. You couldn't remember what happened, but it couldn't be good if you were in a hospital.
You and Noah got into a huge fight when you were released from the hospital. He told you he wasn't going home until you went to rehab for your mental health. He wanted to pawn you off; at least, that's how you felt.
"Fuck you! You left me! This is your fault you screamed at him. "I don't want you here, Noah. I hate you. I hate you so much!"
Noah threw you over his shoulder, with you kicking and screaming as he walked up the stairs and into your bedroom. He set you on your bed, sat in your computer chair, and rolled in front of you. He hated this for you. He hated seeing your eyes red and puffy; he hated seeing your body tremble out of anger, but most of all, he hated that you hated him.
Noah tried his best to remain calm, but the more he stared at you, the sadder he felt. His eyes watered, but he quickly wiped them and leaned forward. His Brown eyes wandered your face. "What are we going to do?" He quietly asks.
You shrug, shaking your head, "I don't wanna be here anymore."
"Then don't." He pauses, leaning back in the chair, "Come to California with me."
You raise your eyebrow, knowing a fresh start could be nice. "OK." you quietly say.
Noah smiles, "This doesn't get you out of therapy, though… that's my number one requirement. You want to come with me? You need to get help."
You agreed.
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You excitedly pull out your phone and show your boyfriend and Nicholas your chosen design.
"This is it," you say with a smile, feeling adrenaline. The tattoo is simple yet elegant, with cursive lettering that spells "Stay Strong" on your ribs.
It's a phrase that has helped you through many tough times in your life, and you want to make it a permanent part of you.
Noah beams with pride at the person you've become today, ten years. You have faced many challenges and obstacles but never gave up and continued to grow. You have overcome your fears and insecurities and learned to love yourself and others. You are his inspiration and his soulmate. "Yeah, it's to the point," Noah says. "Stay Strong is a good motto to live by." He squeezes your hand and kisses your forehead.
You nod, "I thought it was fitting." You look at Nicholas, who has been patiently waiting for your approval. He grabs your phone and observes the photo a bit longer. He likes the placement of the tattoo and the cursive lettering. He thinks it will suit your body and personality well.
"Let's get started," he says with a grin.
He leads you to the tattoo table and instructs you how to lie down and position yourself.
You feel the cold stencil being placed on your side, and you shiver slightly.
You smile graciously at Nicholas, who asks you if you are ready. You nod, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. Noah holds your hand throughout the process and encourages you whenever you flinch or cringe.
He reminds you how brave and strong you truly are. He whispers he loves you when he sees the tiny tears in the corner of your eyes.
He tells you how beautiful you are and how much he admires your courage.
"Fuck," you say when it's all done. "That was the weirdest sensation. It hurt but tickled all in one." You laugh, feeling a sense of relief.
Noah chuckles as you sit up, "Yeah, shit hurts." He reaches out his hand, helping you off the table, and wraps his arm around you, holding you close. "But it's worth it," he adds.
"Check it out," Nick says, pointing to the body mirror. You smile at the reflection in the mirror, admiring his work. The tattoo is simple yet holds so much meaning to you. It's a reminder of your strength and resilience and how far you've come. It's a symbol of your journey and your growth. It's a tribute to your past and a promise for your future. You feel proud of yourself and grateful for the people who have supported you along the way.
Noah stands behind you, watching you intently. He leans down, kissing you on the cheek. "I'm so proud of you, babe." He whispers in your ear.
You turn around, facing him. You smile at him, puckering your lips for a kiss, and Noah doesn't hesitate to fill that need. "I love you." you happily say. "I love you too, beautiful," he replies, looking into your eyes.
You hug him, feeling complete and happy. You have a new tattoo, a new memory, and a new reason to stay strong.
@thisbicc @yumikitten @lma1986 @chemicallady @niicoleleigh @waake-meee-up
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lonleydweller · 7 months
Note
Hi, this is the anon from the Arkham!Riddler jealousy request. To clarify, this would be while they are dating, but he and the Reader have a difficult relationship because of Ed's habit of being a cold person. He very much loves them, but he has such a hard time displaying it in a kind way, if that makes sense?
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🌹Arkhamverse Riddler with another villian trying to steal his s/o🌹
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!Warnings!: discuss of relationship issues, jealousy, arguments
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●Dating Edward came with rough pacthes, a lot of them. You were used to it. That's what you expected when you got into this relationship. What healthy relationship dosen't have it's struggles quarrels?
●Sure he sometimes made snide remarks, got absorbed in his work, sometimes forgot you were there while he was scheming to take down batman, and didn't pay any attention when you talked here and there. But that's just Edward. He still loved you. He just had trouble expressing it.
●Now I'm assuming your relationship isn't a secret if another rouge knows about it. One of you couldn't keep your mouth shut, bragging about one another! After awhile You two figured you might as well meet the rest of the rouges gallery.
●One way or another, for whatever ryhme or reason. You've peaked the interest of more than just Edward. Honor amoung thieves? Well that dosen't apply here.
●At first it seems like the rouges just being friendly, having a nice, chat. Maybe just a bit too much so. While you may not bat an eye, Edward is no doubt giving then judgemental and skeptical glances. They were being too friendly to you.
●They start to pry into you and Eddie's relationship, insinuating things, planting ideas in your head. 'He's so cold to you. He barely seems to pay attention to you. Are you really happy in this relationship? Does he really love you? He's a narcissistic, he's probably just using to feed his own ego and need for control!" And other similar sentiments.
●Once Edward cacthes wind of what they're doing, whether he hears them speaking, or he notices a shift in your behavior. He's livid. Clenching his fist in rage. He wants so badly to scream, to tell them off, to get rid of them- to.. he restrains himself. He can't be brash. That'd just prove their point wouldn't it?
●The words they've been saying eat away at him. He loved you.. he knew that for sure.. you surely knew that, right? Right? He hoped you did. Was he really that cold? That ignorant?
●The next few days Edward seems to want to hog your attention more than usual. He's a lot more bold with his affection. Being a bit more handsy, complementing you more, and dishing out a few more 'I love you's than normal. It feels nice.. but if feels out of character for him.
●Upon confrontation of him acting different, he'll be defensive. He just wanted to give you more attention that's all- that's only half of it however. When you push it enough he caves in. Admitting that he felt he wasn't expressing his love for you clearly enough, that he feared you might leave him for the other rouge, that you were believing what they had said- How did he know? Well shit he didn't mean to say that much.
●Fine, fine. He'll fully fess up to the fact he overheard your conversation. He's fumbling over his words trying to explain how he loves you, even if can't always express it. How much you mean to him. He has some difficulty due to being essentially emotionally constipated. He'll need some re-assurance that he got his point across, and that you won't leave him. That you don't view him or yourself as any less.
●Once you two manage to work through your issues, he's at ease again and not wracked with worries of you abandoning him.
● Now time for him to deal with.. the other part of the issues. The other rouge. No doubt next time he sees them he'll be making snide comments and berating them, and what do you know the riddler bots suddenly are far more aggressive to that villian! How strange. Riddler claims its supposedly an "error" that he'll fix later.
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green-typewriterz · 8 months
Note
Can you write some angsty stuff followed by fluff. Something with Harry styles.
Basically reader being heavier and insecure had no male attention all her life. She is a big time introvert and opens up after a lot of struggle. But her life changes when Harry makes an entry.
Until I Found You - Harry Styles
Harry Styles x fem!reader Summary: You’ve never been overly confident, but then someone comes along and makes you feel things you’ve never felt Warnings: angst to fluff, body insecurity, Harry being perfect as per usual Word count: 1K words
I hope this is what you were looking for lovely! Thank you so much for requesting!
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You were no stranger to the judging stares that came with the industry you were in, fashion was a tough career as it is without everyone thinking you couldn’t be fashionable just because you weren’t thin. It’s not like you could escape it either, the main part of your job being styling overly self-obsessed celebrities who think they’re perfect and everyone else is ugly. You always tried to stay confident, posting outfit of the days and filtering out hate comments for your own mental health, but somehow some always got through and you would be lying if you said it never affected you.
You assumed this would be the same, some singer you didn’t really care enough about judging you and shitting on your outfit choices even though most of the time you put them in their own wardrobe and they were too stupid to realise they picked the clothes themselves. You walked into the dressing room to see this one particular celebrity talking with your PA who was helping him pick from the sequins you would later have to meticulously embroider.
“You must be Harry,” you spoke, walking over with your hand outstretched for him to shake, “I’m Y/N, I'm your designer!” He took your hand immediately, shaking it without breaking eye contact. He was wearing a simple short-sleeved t-shirt with a pair of ripped jeans. His hair was pushed back away from his face with a pair of brown Gucci sunglasses and he wore two necklaces, one made of pearl and the other a cross.
He smiled warmly before replying, “I know who you are. The famous Y/N Y/L/N? C’mon, you’re renowned. Thank you for taking the time to come and help me.” His voice was soft and genuine (which you will admit created butterflies in your stomach) then you quickly got to work on creating the outfit that he would wear to the Grammys. He pointed at crystals every now and then, commenting on how they’d match his shoes or his nails - which he planned to paint pink. At this current moment, they were a deep shade of blue, almost the same colour as his navy Adidas gazelles. 
You had just assumed that Harry was just being nice but - though he was being polite - he found himself unable to take his eyes off of you. He had heard about you through the endless attack of hate that you got just for looking how you look. Harry never understood it, he thought you were beautiful, often seeing photos of you and thinking of Italian Renaissance statues.
The day ended quickly and for that, you couldn’t be happier. You got in your car and cried, tears hot against your cheeks as you thought back to how you felt that day. Harry didn’t stop staring at you, at your body. You knew that most people didn’t like how you looked, but the fact that he looked at you for so long. It made you want to shrink into the floor. You were still in your car, having just stopped crying when you reached the impulsive part of your breakdowns so you got out your phone and sent a tweet.
Y/N
So fucking sick of all this body hatred in my line of work. My body is beautiful purely because it is mine and it exists, get over it.
You immediately closed your phone, knowing you wouldn’t feel regret until the inevitable negative comments came a few hours later. You drove home and collapsed onto your sofa, feeling overly proud of yourself for what you had tweeted. Well, that was until you got a text message from Harry asking if the tweet was about him. You weren’t sure how to respond, not wanting to face the problem head-on this early. But, deciding it could only get worse, you replied.
Y/N
So?
There was no reply for a while, then:
Harry
We need to talk this through in person. Meet me in St James’ Park. Please. - H
You froze. No one had ever done this before. You knew that it was getting late, but something was drawing you there so you grabbed your coat and a pair of gloves before rushing out the door, the park only being a five-minute walk from you.
You debated walking up to him, standing there hoping he would keep his eyes on the sunset so you could just turn around and go. Of course that didn’t happen. “Y/N. I wanted to apologise for today. I sincerely promise I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” 
You crossed your arms, staring into his bright eyes. “Cut the shit. I have gotten the same treatment from every other celebrity I’ve worked with Harry. Each one thinks they're better than me because they have every person's dream body.” You spoke, your words creating a mist in the cold.
He shook his head and stepped closer. “I promise you. That’s not what I was thinking.”
You scoffed, looking away from him as you unfolded your arms. You didn’t believe him even though deep down you wanted to. He took your hands suddenly and you met his gaze again, his eyes filled with an emotion you’d never seen before. 
“Is it so hard to believe that I find you intoxicatingly beautiful?” He asked, brows furrowed in confusion. He stepped closer again. “Everything about you, call me corny but I feel like i haven’t seen beauty like yours since I saw the statues in Rome.”
You blushed as he slowly moved his hands from your hands to your waist, his soft grip settling there as if it were the place it was destined to be. You stared at his lips, seeing them curve into a soft smile full of adoration. He leaned in slowly, making sure you wanted the same as him. You met his lips in the cold, the taste of his mint gum lingering on his lips.
“I’ve always been crazy about you, Y/N.” He whispered as you pulled away. You rested your foreheads against one another, hands still on each other's waists. This was something you never wanted to end.
The sun had set a long while ago, but the two of you were still in the park, quietly talking as you held hands, looking at the stars from an old rickety bench. Harry liked you for both your body and your heart and that was something you thought you’d never get.
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mrsrookhunt · 10 months
Note
Hear me out can I please ask for a yandere chuuya and atsushi with a Yui komori darling ( she's from diabolik lovers)
That's still traumatized even after they escaped the sakamaki/makami brothers
But there's still a kind and caring person
But one day he comes home and he can't find them anywhere just to find them hiding in a closet crying and shaking because of a nightmare of the sakamaki/makami brothers finding them and using them as a bloodbag again
And when he manages to calm them down they explain what happened to them before they met him and even though he kidnapped them they feel safe that's why they never fought back
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Sorry if this is too detailed and if you're unfamiliar with the character feel free to ignore this request
You do not know how excited I was to get a request that included DL, it was my first ever anime 😁 It was also the first series I wrote for! So, this is 100% up my alley. Though I hope I do her justice, it's been a few years.
That being said, I don't actually write for Atsushi. I love him, but I don't feel like I could embody his character properly, especially as a yandere. So I did some brief headcannons about the scenario, but it's nothing too in-depth, in hopes of keeping as true to his character as possible. Hope that's alright!
Atsushi Nakajima | Headcannons
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Atsushi is a kind man, yandere or not. When he comes home to silence and dead air when he calls for you, he panics. He tries not to assume the worst, but how can he not where you're clearly not here?
He races through the house, heart pumping, when he finally hears you-- sniffling and crying in the back of the master bedroom closet.
In his relief, he nearly throws himself at your feet. "Yui?" He asks quietly, taking your hand in his.
When you tell him about your nightmare, the normally calm and sweet demeanor he uses in front of you shifts to defensive and nearly feral.
He swears to you that they'll never hurt you, he'll never let them. He's lost too much, and he assures you that he won't lose you too. You have nothing to worry about, he'll take care of it.
He hasn't taken violent action until now, but he wishes you'd told him just how much you were affected by those damn bloodsuckers.
Don't worry about anything.. Soon, you'll be able to sleep safe, without even a possibility of harm coming to you.
Chuuya Nakahara | Scenario
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"Yui?" He calls into the empty house.
Damn, he should've known better than to leave you alone while he was working.
"Fuck, this isn't a game!" He shouts, kicking the post on the staircase. You were always to be downstairs by 6:30 every day, dressed and ready to go out to dinner or an event with him. But you weren't here, and he knew you knew better than that.
So what possibility does that leave?
Kidnapping? The house was safety proofed, he would've known if anyone was trying to get in, and if you were trying to go out. Amd yet, none of his alarms went off, nothing looked touched, no sign of a struggle.
Hearing Chuuya stomp up the stairs made fear drop into your stomach. Shit. It was 6:30 already?
How long had you been crying?
You curled into a ball on the floor of the closet. It didn't matter now, you were going to be in trouble anyway.
You were already hyperventilating from your dream; the combined terror of your impending punishment didn't help much.
Chuuya stormed into the room, and then into the closet when he heard you.
"Yui! You scared me, what the hell were you doing?" He dropped down to balance on his heels in front of you.
"Hey... are you crying?" He folded into a position lying down next to you, hand on your waist.
"S-sorry, I'm so sorry, Chuuya, I--"
"I ain't mad, just tell me what happened." He was trying to be patient with you, at least.
Your breathing slowed a little, and you stretched out a bit, rolling into his grasp. He was here. It's Chuuya, for God's sake. If anyone could protect you, it was him. You were being stupid, why were you even cryi--
"Hey." His voice was firm, blue eyes boring into yours, searching for any hint to your distress, just how he was trained. "I want answers, Yui."
The words came tumbling out of you. "N-nightmare, I had a nightmare when I was trying to take a nap a-nd it just all came flooding back to me and I was scared and--"
"What came back to you?" His grip tightened and he scowled.
"T-there's something.. I haven't told you, Chuuie."
You looked away from him.
"You know... about all the awful things in this world.. ability users.. are part of the world.. but then there's things even darker, that even you wouldn't know about."
You glance up to him, and he nods for you to continue.
"Mm... There's... well, I'll be blunt, there's things in this world that fall under the name of 'supernatural', like.. vampires, and-- And! They're real! I swear!!"
"I believe you. Go on." You aren't sure if he really believes you or if he's just humoring you, but you might as well go on. It's been so long of you bottling this up, so you didn't scare anyone. But Chuuya? Chuuya loves you unconditionally. He wouldn't reject you just for this, there's no way.
"I.. was.. used, by some of these people. As.. food."
"People?" He spits, pulling you into his shoulder. "They sound more like monsters."
You offer a weak laugh in relief, relief that he isn't mad, that he believes you.
"Yeah.. maybe. But they were nice at times. I just... I'm still glad I got out. And I dreamt.. that I was back, and I was theirs, again, and I-I---"
"Shh..." Chuuya breathes out against the top of your head, hearing your whimpering begin anew as the dream comes back to you tenfold. "Haah... as if I'd ever let them get to you. I'd rather be dead. Tell me more about the bastards. I'll take care of them for you."
"It's ok.. they'll leave me alone now, I think. You.. you saved me, Chuuya. Thank you."
You know you probably sound stupid to him, but you can't help but wish for their wellbeings too. They didn't ask to be vampires, and some of them were nice sometimes.
He sighed. "You tell me.. when you're ready for me to do something about those assholes, just say the word. Say the word, and I'll make sure you don't have a single reason to worry. You're always gonna be safe with me, Yui. I ain't gonna let a single one of those creatures touch you, or anyone who hurt you. You're safe, Yui."
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
-June 26th, 2023
-Kaori
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red-hibiscus · 2 months
Text
BL characters I relate to most as a mentally ill gay trans man
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Daisy from SCOY
Surprising no one, I, a trans person, relate to Daisy. They're outgoing and seemingly don't care about how people view them. They know they're visibly queer and they normally don't mind it (from what I see). But at the end of the day, society does affect them. They're hesitant to believe Touch genuinely cares and is attracted to them despite Touch being an absolute green flag who is very direct with his flirting. Even after, Daisy was worried about people would view their relationship with Touch and tried to become Day, a more masculine version of themself. Impossible of course and they broke down emotionally exhausted. I feel that so much because I also don't believe it when people, especially cis gay men, are attracted to me. I've caught myself trying to change my behavior to be more masculine (as I'm a bit on the nonbinary side of things). It's bad, but I know how Daisy feels.
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Wang from 180 Degree Longtitude Passes Through Us
As a 26 year old trans gay immigrant in a country that doesn't want me, I have a shit ton of pent up anger that has been building up since I was a child. I've calmed down over the years, but I can still be stubborn and argumentative when it comes to politics and human rights. I'm also a linguistics major, thus an academic.
Wang is so much like myself and like a lot of people around me. Like me and Wang would be close friends irl I know it. We're young and stubborn. We're angry at the older conservative people around us, too much sometimes. So he lashes out. Many of his points are correct, but they're not hitting. Partially because the people he's talking to don't want to change, partially because he himself is stubborn. People like us yearn to be free, to be ourselves and to learn. Wang has a passion for the humanities like myself. Yet he knows society really only cares about STEM fields. I've compromised and am getting a master's in computational linguistics. Even though really I just wanna learn as much as I can about sociolinguistics.
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Karl from Gaya Sa Pelikula
I haven't watched GSP in a hot minute, but I do remember feeling very seen.
So in the show Karl has his gay awakening, tries to internally and externally deny it, and eventually let himself be free to feel everything and be himself (at least in private).
Now I didn't have a gay awakening, but I guess you could say a trans awakening. In middle school I felt different, I suspected maybe some flavor of LGBT, but wasn't sure and I was too afraid to think about it too hard. Come high school I secretly wanted to join the LGBT club, but was afraid. Then I was essentially adopted into the LGBT club and dragged into the friend group during lunch because I was a loner like everyone else. At the time still "identified" as a cishet woman. As time went on people started to suspect. "Why are you in the club?", "why did you cut your hair", "why do you dress like that?", "your voice is low for a girl haha", etc. Much like Karl, I was not ready for any of that. I was still struggling to make sense of it all and come to terms with it myself. So I kept rejecting it and every time it hurt.
I kept rejecting it until I couldn't. Until someone I resonated with so much came out as trans and it clicked. My trans awakening was complete. I became able to be more myself, but only in private safe spaces. I wouldn't come out and live as a man until after high school and it was terrifying.
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Adachi from Cherry Magic
I've only watched the jpn ver, but I'm sure that character remains the same.
I'm anxious and used to be quite shy. Now I'm just awkward. I'm really bad at seeing the good in myself cause I feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly in life. Not that impressive. So when people compliment me I think "haha they're just being nice" (refer back to me never believing people are actually attracted to me).
Adachi is the exact same. He has the same routine every day. Just going through the motions and not really thinking anything of himself. But then Kurosawa comes along and the ability to read minds. Adachi then realizes "wait, someone I respect so much actually loves me? And thinks I have a lot of good qualities? Makes me wanna cry." And me too Adachi. I'd be the same.
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Jared from 7 Days Before Valentine
Jared, my precious baby, is described throughout the show as kind, but weird and different. We later learn that he has dyslexia, and honestly he seems to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Even if he isn't, he has a behavioral difference people pick up on and then shun him for it.
I too was seen as kinda weird growing up. Maybe it was the autism, maybe it was the social anxiety. Probably both. And then of course there was the gnawing feeling that I was different than everyone else and it turns out it's because I'm trans.
So when Jared said that people didn't talk to him because he wasn't like other people it hit me so hard.
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Myungha from Love For Love's Sake
The whole show is sad yet cathartic for me. Myungha is depressed yet spends his time comforting others. He has a hard time loving and receiving love. If you give him a fictional character who is very similar to him he will love them and see all the good, but he doesn't see it in himself. Relatable as hell.
I have an incredibly hard time being honest with my emotions and letting people love me and express attraction. Mostly in a romantic/sexual context. Dpdr is cockblocking me. So dating is hell, but I'm lonely and yearn to not be.
Probably if you put me in a situation like Myungha I'd also go "yep, that right there is my blorbo" and then not realize that all the things I like about the person and make me care about them are things I have.
Honorable mentions:
Both Akk and Ayan from The Eclipse
Nozue from Old Fashion Cupcake
Oh-Aew from I Told Sunset About You
Cher from A Boss and a Babe (I headcannon him as autistic)
Amber from DNA Says Love You
Uea from Bed Friend
Mitsuomi from Restart After Come Back Home
Jao from SCOY
Maybe I'll make another post for those later
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