#I'M GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP

[ladykailitha]

Paper Hearts Part 1

Remember how my posting schedule was going to be based on strictly vibes from now on? Yeah this is why. I have three chapters of this completed and only two of most everything else because I hurt my right wrist on Wednesday evening (I think I overextended my elbow and it fucked up the tendons in my wrist, because I've done that before on my arm and it feels like that).

So instead of getting more work done on stuff that is literally paragraphs away from the end of the chapter I'm having to tap into my backlog. Which is what it's for. But it is annoying.

I am also aware it's nearly May, but my muse was never one for sense.

Summary: Hawkins High is selling paper hearts to help raise for senior prom. $3 for red romantic hearts and $1 for pink friendship hearts. Steve hasn't dated anyone since the horrific breakup with Nancy on Halloween and so he decides that he's going to send pink hearts to senior girls who wouldn't normally get any hearts at all. When Eddie hears about this he can't help be intrigued. It goes against his very well curated Munson Doctrine. But as events keep throwing them together, Eddie learns there is more to King Steve then meets the eye.

Also a note: the use of the other's last name when it's their point of view is deliberate. As they get to know each other more, the more first names get used.

****

Steve was staring at the huge sign with a sense of dread. In big pink and white letters on a red background screamed the words:

PAPER HEARTS FOR YOUR VALENTINE $1 FOR PINK FRIENDSHIP HEARTS $3 FOR RED ROMANTIC HEARTS ALL PROCEEDS GO TO CLASS OF 1985 SENIOR BALL

Valentine’s Day. That time of year for lovers and romantics. That used to be him. But not since Nancy broke his heart by breaking up with him for Jonathan Byers.

There would be no paper hearts in locker this year. Not even pink ones. Nancy had well and truly blown up his life and she got to walk away scott free.

He didn’t know what to do anymore. He pinched his nosed and rubbed the end. He wasn’t going to cry in the middle of the fucking main hall of Hawkins High.

Just before he was about to start moving again someone shoulder checked him, sending back to the floor and all his stuff sprawling around it like some fucked flower.

“Watch it, Harrington!” the voice growled as whoever it was sped off down the hall.

Steve didn’t even bother looking to see who it was. It could have been anyone these days. His former friends. Billy and his ilk. Hell, even the nerds and geeks got in on the action lately.

He knelt down to start cleaning it up when someone else kicked his books toward the lockers. He managed to get most of it picked up when he reached for the last notebook. Someone stepped on his hand and ground down, hurting Steve and ripping the cover off the notebook, crinkling the first couple of pages.

He shoved it into his bag and cradled his hand to his chest. He looked at his watch and sighed. Lunch was nearly over and he hadn’t even made it to the cafeteria yet.

There was nothing for it, he had to get to his next class. He walked into the class room just as the bell rang, but instead of heading for his usual spot near the front he made for the back of the class. There were always a few empty seats around Munson. The guy was terrifying on a good day.

And Steve hoped it was a good day.

****

Eddie made to class on time by the skin of his teeth. He slid through door just as the bell rang above his head. He was about to lope over to his usual spot in the back when he stopped dead in his tracks.

He looked up at the front at the deliberately left open seat and back at the seat next to his with a raised eyebrow. He wisely said nothing as he flopped into the torture device known as the chesk. Dair? Whatever the hell it was called where some unspeakable horror thought to combine a desk and a chair.

Eddie glanced sidelong at his new companion. The recently deposed king of Hawkins High sat slumped in his chesk, head down, just staring at its surface as if held the meaning to life the universe and everything.

Which if Harrington asked him, he would have been told forty-two.

He pulled out his notebook and noticed that Harrington did not do the same. Curiouser and curiouser. He pulled out a pencil and settled in to avoid falling to sleep today.

He was taking notes and doing the assignment like he was supposed to when about half way through class the teacher called out to him.

“Mr. Harrington!” she shrieked. “If you are going to be sitting in the back, please have the decency to pay attention in class!”

A couple of kids snickered.

“You were talking about how the Fool is used to lighten the absolutely horrific scene above him of Lady Macbeth as she tries to get blood out of her gown,” he muttered, scratching his cheek with his left hand.

That was when the teacher and Eddie noticed the same thing at the same time.

Harrington was cradling his right hand to his chest.

“Mr. Harrington is there something wrong with your right hand?”

“I accidentally hurt it during lunch,” he said with wince.

The teacher tapped her foot and crossed her arms. “And why didn’t you see the nurse?”

“It happened right before class,” Harrington muttered, “and I didn’t want to be late.”

The teacher huffed and shook her head. “I will give you note for your next teacher, but you will see the nurse after class, am I understood?”

He nodded.

“Mr. Munson,” she cried out, shrill. “If you’ll share your notes with Mr. Harrington after class so he does not fall behind.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He continued to keep an eye on Harrington throughout the whole class but whenever their English teacher tried to catch him out, she would fail every time.

When the bell rang Eddie started shoving his stuff into his backpack. “You sure you even need my notes, Harrington? That was pretty impressive shit you pulled out of your ass today.”

Harrington just shrugged. “Just because I was paying attention doesn’t mean it won’t bleed out of my ears with all the algebra and chemistry stuff I have later.”

Eddie winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I hear that. What’s your locker number and I’ll just slip a copy of my notes in the slots.”

“323B.”

“They got you on a lower locker?” he asked with a grimace. “That’s jacked up. Even Mr. Super Senior here got a top locker. Does the secretary hate you or some shit?”

Again Harrington shrugged. “I’ve got to go. I’ll catch you later.”

Eddie folded his arms at looked at him. “You’re not going to the nurse’s station, are you?”

This time it was Harrington who winced.

“That’s what I thought,” he huffed. “I’m walking you to said nurse’s station because it could be broken and if you don’t get that looked at, you’ll be in more than just a world of hurt, man. You could fuck up your hand for life and you wouldn’t be able to anything in that hand ever again.”

Steve’s eyes went wide as all color drained from his face.

“Shit.”

Eddie grabbed both of their backpacks and headed for the door. “Yeah, shit.”

Harrington hurried to catch up, hand still cradled to his chest.

“How did you know that could happen to my hand?” he asked softly.

Eddie eyed him sidelong, but the kid wasn’t being an ass. In fact he would say Harrington was being earnest.

“My uncle works at the machinist plant up the road,” Eddie explained. “One of his buddies broke his hand on the machine and refused to get it looked at. Guess how well that worked?”

“Was it the plant’s fault?” Harrington asked. Eddie cocked his head to the side. “That you uncle’s friend got hurt?”

Eddie reared his head back in shock that Harrington would even ask.

“No, man,” he said shaking his head. “He was goofing off, being a dick. Uncle Wayne always said that if you knock on every door asking for the devil, one day he’s gonna answer.”

“What happens when the devil comes looking for you?” Harrington muttered to himself and Eddie couldn’t help but wonder what this kid had seen.

Because he knows haunted. And Harrington looks like he has an attic full of ghosts.

Once they got to the nurse’s station Eddie waited for him. When the other boy came out he asked how it went.

“She says it doesn’t feel broken,” he huffed. “But that if it doesn’t improve over the weekend after icing at least three times a day, to come back on Monday and she’ll order an x-ray.”

Eddie nodded. “Right. See you around, Harrington.”

He had barely turned around when Harrington called out to him. “Wait!”

Eddie turned back around to have a piece of paper shoved into his hand. “I got the nurse to excuse us both.”

And before he could even reply the other boy was tearing off down the hall as if the devil himself was chasing him.

And after that comment he’d heard, Eddie couldn’t be sure he wasn’t.

****

Steve was curled up on his bed, icing his hand, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering where the fuck his life had gone so wrong.

Okay so he could answer that one, actually. Demogorgon ate his girlfriend’s best friend while in his backyard. While him and said girlfriend were having sex for the first time.

Yeah... that was all kinds of fucked up.

He still couldn’t believe that Nancy sided with Jonathan about him taking pictures of their first time.

So now Valentine’s Day was two week away and he was dateless, friendless, and unpopular. He wished he could just be called a loner. But a loner was cool and Steve wasn’t even that anymore.

He just had to make until the end of may and then he could graduate, leaving this town in his rearview mirror for good.

Steve knew that he would have to struggle through this fucking holiday and Senior prom then it would be smooth sailing from there.

He had all this money that he would normally spend on his girlfriends, but now he didn’t even have that. He supposed he could blow it all on beer and weed and then he could enjoy the weekend for a change.

Steve sat up suddenly, the ice pack falling from his hand to hit the floor with sploosh!

Now that was an idea.

He still had one thing in the school that was nonpareil and that was gossip. In fact, it was easier to hear all the dirty little secrets because no one cared if he was standing there.

A smile spread over his face.

That could actually work. It would be a great way to spend his allowance and it would be fun.

He got up and put the ice pack back in the freezer. He couldn’t do anything about it right then but once his hand was better he would formulate his little plan.

Steve was suddenly excited for the first time since he dropped Dustin off at the middle school’s Snow Ball.

He was going to make this holiday fun even if he had to manufacture the fun himself.

****

Eddie was pissed. A little at himself, but mostly at how Harrington was being treated.

He had to sit through lunch and listen a bunch of stupid jocks brag about stomping on Harrington’s hand when he was trying to pick up his stuff off the floor in the hallway yesterday.

They had been hoping for an actual break, but the asshole thought he’d only bruised it.

The reason Eddie was a little mad at himself for this was because he was the one that had shoulder checked Harrington. He had only been trying to get the guy out of his daze. Not send his shit flying.

And then to have someone deliberately stepping on his hand. Fuck. Not even Hagan ever went that far.

Stev–Harrington didn’t deserve that kind of bullying. No one did.

But he could see the twisted sort of appeal, though. And fuck if that didn’t make his stomach turn.

To see the deposed king and want to mock that? Want to dig the hurt in as deep as he could? To drive home the lesson that popularity was fleeting and that existence was a curse?

Yeah, Eddie could see the appeal.

But he wouldn’t. He might make fun of literally everyone and everything but his own interests, but to make turn that into actual cruelty? That was were he drew the line in the sand.

He went home feeling sick to his stomach. And of course Wayne picked up on it immediately.

He jutted his chin at the chicken and rice on Eddie plate that he had only merely pushed around with his fork.

“What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”

Eddie put his fork down and hid his mouth with his clasped hands, elbows on the table.

“I fucked up today,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean for it to go as it did.”

“What did you do?”

So Eddie told him. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him, but he got hurt anyway.”

“That does sound pretty bad,” Wayne agreed. “And as you say, you were trying to help only for it to go very awry. And since you didn’t about it until after the fact you couldn’t apologize and that’s what’s eating you up inside.”

Eddie nodded around his fists, his lower lip quivering.

“You’ll just have to find a way to apologize on Monday,” Wayne said wisely.

Eddie sighed. It was the best he could do. It wasn’t as though he could call the guy up or show up at his house. The first because he didn’t have the guy’s number and the second because he’d get the cops called on him so fast by the neighbors.

It would just have to wait until Monday.

****

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#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes

[atlasscrumpit]

Yandere Bucky Part 2

(got a lot of people wanting a part 2 so why not)

Part 1 here

You sat at the table in front of Bucky as he handed you forms.

"I need you to sign a few things so I can look after everything for you. We'll get married soon, maybe we can just elope. But, don't worry I don't want children so you don't need to worry about that." He said as you stared at him in shock.

"Bucky... I'm not signing any of this." You whispered as he stood up and stood behind you, gently running his hand through your hair. 

“I know this is a lot for you to take in.” He whispered before kneeling beside your chair and taking your hands. 

“It’s going to be okay, it’s just us now and we’ll be happy. I know you’re scared but just let me take care of you.” He whispered as you looked down at him. 

“You’re forcing me against my will. You’re hurting me.” You whispered with tears in your eyes as his grip got tighter on your hands. 

“Maybe because you don’t know what’s good for you, maybe because you’re absolutely fucking useless.” He growled before he stood up and paced, practically seething. 

“Can’t you see I can give you everything! You ungrateful bitch!” He shouted as you flinched and looked at him in fear. 

He kneeled down again and looked at you. 

“You make me very angry…but, I’m not going to hit you because I’m a kind partner. But, if you fucking piss me off one more time, I will not hesitate to torture you until there is nothing but trauma left in your head, understand?” He growled as you began to cry, he reached up and wiped away your tears. 

“I know you’re scared…just tell me you understand, doll.” He said as you looked at him. 

“I understand.” You whispered, making him smile. 

“Good girl, sign the papers now, okay? Then I’ll order in your favourite food.” He said with a kind smile, and if you weren't in this situation you would swear it was just your best friend Bucky and his usual kind smile.

He stood up and placed the pen in your hand before kissing the side of your head.

"I don't want this." You whispered as Bucky reached up and brushed your hair from your face.

"Darling, I'm going to take care of everything. Don't you want that? Baby, I'm sick of threatening you. So, I'll just say. I think you know exactly what will happen if you don't sign it." He whispered in a soft tone still playing with your hair.

You looked away from him and with your shaking hands you signed the documents as Bucky stood above you.

"Good girl, thank you darling." He whispered kissing the top of your head.

"I need to go drop these off, I'll order in your favourite food when I get back. Why don't you go shower or bath and freshen up?" He asked as you nodded and stood up.

He smiled and held your face in his hand.

"I know you're scared, doll. But, I promise it's going to be okay." He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

"I'll see you soon." He whispered happily before leaving.

He stopped short and looked at you.

"Also, don't try to escape, okay?" He said as you nodded your head and watched him leave.

You stood for a while and thought, you could try to escape but this was the winter soldier.

You groaned and went to the bathroom and began filling up the bath knowing it was worthless to try and escape.

--

Bucky came back as you were getting out of the bath, he held your favourite take out in his hand as you changed into new clothes.

When you saw him you stopped and just stared.

"What is it, doll?" He asked placing the food down.

"I miss my best friend..." You whispered as he walked up to you and held your hands.

"I'm right here." He replied as you began to cry.

"I don't know who you are but you're not my best friend... You're a monster." You whispered as his eyes darkened.

He reached up and wrapped his metal hand around your throat.

"I really, really don't want to hurt you. But, I fucking will if I have to." He growled before throwing you onto the floor.

"Stop this! You've gone fucking insane!" You screamed begore he jumped on you and pinned you down.

"Maybe I fucking have, or maybe I just got sick of not getting what I fucking deserve. You can have nice Bucky who treats you like a queen, or you can have the winter soldier who will beat your skull in. Your fucking choice." He growled, his face close to yours.

"Either way I have to break your leg because everyone believes you broke your leg." He said as your eyes widened.

"Hold still for me, doll."

#Bucky #Bucky x Reader #Bucky Barnes x Reader #The Winter soldier #Yandere

[alllgator-blood]

okkk wait this is the anon that sent an ask about autistic narinder and leshy hc 😅 i retract my statement they're all autistic 🤯🤯🤯🤯

I WAS LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF ANSWERING THAT ASK TO SAY "I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ALL AUTISTIC" BEFORE THIS ONE GOT SENT IN, I was two sentences in so your comedic timing was impeccable actually

I know there's like no evidence in-game to back my claims so this is purely a vibe check (and also me being unable to write for neurotypical characters) but yeah no I 100% feel like all the bishops have autism for some reason. They definitely express it in different ways and I was actually thinking about that in the car ride back home tonight??

SEMI-DETAILED HC EXPLANATIONS BELOW THE CUT

For leshy, I feel like since he's the youngest...when he came along, everyone was like "yep. We don't even need to get this one tested" after seeing him in his natural element. Which sounds cruel but that's just personal experience after people in my family started getting diagnosed and we started noticing things about each other better LMAO. I kinda actually designed my iteration of him to be like a big stim toy, I did that shitpost sketch in the last post but even the first time I drew him I was like "this dude is made out of orbs that make satisfying noises when they click together", so if I had to categorize the way his neurodivergency manifests, it's definitely "I NEED TO MOVE AROUND!! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! MAYBE SCREAM A LITTLE IDK IT JUST FEELS RIGHT!!"

Heket is for sure the one that fights the most against people labelling her with it, just because she's like I'M SO NORMAL GUYS. LOOK HOW NORMAL I AM. LOOK HOW WELL I CAN ADAPT TO CHANGE AND LOOK AT ME NOT FREAK OUT AT ALL WHEN I'M OUT OF MY ELEMENT!! She's the new leader of the family so she does her best to hold it together but if you make plans with her, she's gonna be in Waiting Mode as soon as the plans are made and might tear you limb from limb if you flake or reschedule. Something my therapist told me recently is that me getting absurdly upset over injustices (small or big) is likely directly related to being autistic, so if heket feels like something is wrong she will absolutely be vocal about it. If someone says something mean to her, they are her fucking arch nemesis from that point on. The block button is NOT enough she wants them DEAD

For narinder, I feel like he maybe bonded a lot with shamura over the fact both of them feel pretty disconnected from everyone else? The way his autism manifests is probably the feeling that he's on a completely different wavelength than everyone else, and can't experience empathy the same way his siblings can. He'll like have conversations with people but it feels like someone just talking at him, and him having to mentally choose the dialogue options that make the conversation end the quickest. He probably feels like a completely separate species from everyone else on more levels than just "I am a cat and you are not". I know this doesn't line up with my narinder art so far but I have a distinct characterization of him pre-schism that's completely different from post-schism. I feel like he also resented the other siblings for having the same condition as him but presenting so differently, he felt like he got the short end of the stick.

Kallamar........is a FREAk ABOUT TEXTURES. Bro will actually throw up if he has to eat or touch something gross. He would probably excuse himself to go hurl if he sees leshy combining everything on his plate and shovelling it into his face. I'M actually about to hurl just thinking about it. I have to have lotion on at all times or I freak out when I touch things with my hands, and I feel like kallamar needs to have that famous Cephalopod Mucus Layer in order to exist in his body without wanting to implode. Maybe even a special oil he formulates himself? I also feel like he probably has the most freakouts and has been left crying inconsolably + hyperventilating on the floor over something seemingly stupid MANY times, but shamura is understanding enough to be patient with him and not try to grab him or repeat phrases at him over and over.

LASTLY, SHAMURA DOESN'T THINK THEY HAVE AUTISM. They're like "I love my Neurodivergent Family :) can't relate tho" but all the siblings have unanimously agreed they have something going on up there, even before the TBI. I think they're very book smart, and have little file cabinets of their brain of stuff like "arthropod husbandry" and "dreamcatcher making techniques" but are totally clueless to how other people operate. They don't really know *why* people do the things they do; in my prequel AU thing, they gain most of their social knowledge through people watching rather than like...being normal and just knowing how to behave. Out of all the siblings, they've probably been told the classic phrase "but you don't look autistic!" the most LMAO

Also shamura 100000% has misophonia and that's the reason I didn't have them sitting at the table with the other siblings in the voidpunk comic I did of them. They love their family to death but they have to make the conscious decision to not shake baby leshy every time he loudly chokes down his dinner, so they just sit out meals and eat on their own time. If shamura was real I would build them a shrine and sacrifice my noise cancelling headphones cause idk if they have sound reduction methods in cotl world <3

I know autism kinda encompasses ALL of these traits and isn't something that can be categorized into "this one hates noises, this one needs to follow a schedule..." but I also don't want to just point at one bishop and go "YOU. YOU WILL BE MY VESSEL" because I'd never get to write all that I have in mind if only one character had it. There's definitely overlaps in symptoms between them but I just wrote down what I felt would be the most notable to that specific character. I've been wanting to do a comic about their special interests or the times they just like sync up and have a brain blast jimmy neutron moment, cause usually they're all over the place. I have literally never said the word "autism" so many times in my life I think I gotta cut it here, THIS IS SO LONG. I REALLY DID WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS THOUGH SO THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK GENUINELY. IDK IF YOU EXPECTED A SMALL ESSAY ON THIS BUT I WROTE ONE ANYWAY

#HEADCANON DUMP #LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

[musashi]

i'm going to be fucking sick please if you associate with tumblr user gaycey-sketchit at all please just fucking block me leave my life exit i am so fucking upset and terrified. i want nothing to do with anyone who is even remotely close with him

EDIT:

FUCKING BASTARD JACKASS THE FUCKING NERVE OF YOU DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE STALKERS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY FAMILY HAS HAD TO GET PULLED OUT OF SCHOOL BEFORE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THERE WERE WHOLE BLOGS DOXXING ME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BY BEING MY FRIEND AT ALL YOU ARE NOW A SOURCE OF INFORMATION TO THESE PEOPLE. THERE ARE PEOPLE STALKING ME WHO ARE COMBING YOUR BLOG FOR INFORMATION TO HURT ME AND MY FRIENDS. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DROP MY NAME! THE THINGS YOU ARE SAYING ARE SPECIFIC ENOUGH THAT THEY CAN BE CROSS REFERENCED WITH OTHER THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID AND USED TO HURT ME

LEAVE ME ALONE! YOUR "PERSONAL BLOG" IS PUBLIC! ANYONE CAN VIEW IT, AND MY STALKERS ARE! SEVERAL OF THEM SENT ME MESSAGES ABOUT THIS! THATS PART OF THE REASON I KNEW YOU WERE POSTING ABOUT ME!!!!!!! BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT BEING SUBTLE OR VAGUE ENOUGH!!!!! PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU ARE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT ME!!!!!

YOU CANNOT SIT THERE AND PREACH TO ME ABOUT MOVING ON WHEN YOU WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT ME! EVERY DAY THE FRIENDS OF MINE WHO YOU ARE STILL IN THE NOTIFICATIONS OF TELL ME OF SOME NEW DUMB BULLSHIT YOU HAVE SAID ABOUT ME! I AM NOT OVER HERE SAYING BULLSHIT ABOUT YOU! AND IT IS A LITTLE HARD TO "MOVE ON" WHEN YOU ARE PUTTING MY FUCKINF FRIENDS' LIVES IN DANGER

ACT LIKE A FUCKING ADULT. YOU ARE FUCKING INSANE. IT IS INSANE THAT YOU HAVE CONVINCED YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE BEHAVING IS ACCEPTABLE JUST BECAUSE YOU TALK WITH A CALM VOICE AND REPEATEDLY POST PERFORMATIVE SHIT ABOUT HOW GREAT YOURE DOING. LEAVE ME ALONE. LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE. YOUR PERSONAL BLOG IS PUBLIC. MY STALKERS ARE ON IT AND THEY ARE USING YOU. AND YOU ARE GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT. OF COURSE I THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO HURT ME, YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS LITERALLY BEEN A MIDDLEMAN BEFORE YOU HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME THING DESPITE ME NOT EVEN HAVING YOU BLOCKED?!?!?! THE FUCJ AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!?! JUST STAND BY WHILE YOU PUT MT FRIENDS' LIFE IN DANGER?!?!?? IF I AHD A WAY TO CKNTACT YOU DIRECTLY I WOULD YOU FUCKING FOOL

leave me alone just fucking leave me alone!!!!!! Practice what you preach and stop fucking talking about me!!!!

#wordy wendy #im so fucking furious #this motherfucker is mentally certifiably fucking unwell #he invented an insane fucking version of our relationship and punished me for not subscribing to it #and now he is PUTTING MY FRIENDS' LIVES IN FUCKING DANGER #I'M GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP #i hate this so fucking much i hate having public beef i fucking hate doing shit like this but it is NEXT LEVEL NOW #REAL PEOPLES FUCKING LIVES ARE IN DANGER #DO YOU HAVE ANY EMPATHY AT ALL? DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING COMPASSION? #THERAPY. PROFESSIONAL HELP #THERE IS SOMETHING SO FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #GOD. FUCK. #THIS WILL NOT HURT ME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WILL NOT HURT ME? #THE ONLY PERSON THIS WILL HURT IS AN INNOCENT WOMAN WHO DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU #WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU

[quadrantadvisor]

The Owl House takes place on a corpse. That's clear from the beginning. The people we meet, the fantastical things we see, every part of it is life that comes from death, and it's beautiful. Luz says that, the first time she's far enough away to see the bones. It's beautiful. The Titan was so full of life and magic that what he left behind could be passed on and made anew, and the people who sprung from that, who rely on it, understand that and are grateful. Everything they have is built on the bones of a god.

But what grows from the bones of children? Nothing. Nothing at all.

The Titan hunters killed children. They said they were monsters, but they were children. Children who played games and laughed and from their first conscious moments wanted to be loved and belong. And they hunted them to extinction, and kept their pristine skulls as trophies. An entire room full of them, of tiny skulls that could've become something wonderful and terrible and life-giving but never had the chance. They wear them, as a badge of honor. Look what I've done, look what I destroyed.

Philip Wittebane had been making grimwalkers for hundreds of years, sure, but even knowing that, there's so many of them. How many could've reached 20? There's piles of them, of bones and identical masks, scattered at the bottom of a pit, and god, were they dead, when he threw them down there? It's clear that he doesn't care, that the only thing that matters is disposing of them once they wear out their usefulness, moving on to the new model. Children tossed aside, left to rot and decay, and when we see them the bones are all clean.

#i just watched all 11 episodes of season 2B in one sitting and I'm #having some feelings #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #just in case #this is why I don't watch shows lol like this shit gave me heart palpitations #how am i even going to survive season 3? the answer is i won't #anyways everytime philip fucking wittebane is on screen i am screaming and crying and throwing up #if i saw him in real life i would strangle him to death with my bare hands. it would be ON SIGHT #he's too real is the problem like the harm he's caused and the way that he talks and the way hunter reacts to him #he gives me the same sick feeling as real life self righteous liars #and you know that this is a person who will never change and never listen and never admit they were wrong #and that the harm they've done will never matter to them because to them they can deny anything and justify anything #ANYWAYS. #idk if anybody'll see this post but i needed to exorcise it from my brain #god........... that show sure has a lot of fucking bones #my rambles

[buthappysoverrated]

my head is literally spinning when I think about they put the beads in Frank and Frank is blatantly shown in this ep that he’s a bigot and appears to support queer community but the moment something he doesn’t deem normal happens he just bolts away from it. The meta in there is just insane they’re shitting on those no kinks at pride people they’re shitting on homophobes audience they’re shitting on the audiences who doesn’t like the queer story lines in the show. And the ep is about chess it’s structured and needs skill and patience just like doing anything that’s a long term effort. They put the macdennis beads in Frank they put the queer theme in the show. They used to just use a restuarant buzzer just inside of Frank’s pocket now they put the thing inside to make the scheme work. Frank doesn’t like it and by the end Dennis lost control of the beads when he’s fighting with Mac. Frank is screaming take it out take it out but the scheme worked and the ep doesn’t end with a typical sunny ending where the gang fuck themselves over; the scheme works and it’s a brilliant checkmate. They can control the themes in the show and it is going to work whether you like it or not.

#I'm in such a weird mental state right now what the fuck iasip #iasip #iasip s16 spoilers #macdennis #frank vs russia #hy speaks #it's always sunny in philadelphia #iasip meta #sort of I guess #frank reynolds #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #I can't even begin with the charlie family arc like as soon as he get over his deadbeat biology dad this new season he's dealing with this #crying screaming throwing up this show is going to kill me

[imminent-danger-came]

Lady Bone Demon: "I sent you a task—you were to retrieve the Monkie King and his protege, yet you refused the path of destiny and so there will be pain."

(3x08 Benched)

-

Lady Bone Demon: “Know this, monkey, you and I are not so different. We both fight for what we think is right—that pursuit only leads to one thing." MK: "Hmmhm. To destiny, right?" Lady Bone Demon: "No. To pain."  

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

#screaming crying throwing up #She's literally iconic #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk LBD #to pain #lmk parallels #Okay so #Like #After Macaque mentions the Samadhi fire. LBD goes from saying 'I will erase the very memory of you' to 'I will leave nothing left of you' #Like. THIS is the moment where her plans change #Going from using MK (with his memory boy status) and Wukong as a power source to using the Samadhi fire #This is my conspiracy and I am sticking TO IT #I AM #Like. LBD knew what MK was is all I'm saying okay #Like she did I fucking swear #And she was like. ''Oh he got fucking wiped? Hell yeah I can use him.''

[orzaika]

My friend got me hooked on @exilethegame and I’ve played it so many times just to keep playing my Phoenix commander Emil Ryder :) he is so fucked up and broken and my whole experience has been “how can i make it evident that this poor man has been emptied out and broken beyond repair” and then the author ENABLES ME it’s the best thing i’ve ever encountered

#exile the game #the painted phoenix #my art #artists on tumblr #oc #i love my fucking guy so much #also being able to make him trans? i owe the author my life #he's just so fucked up <3 #and that one line about the commander's mother wondering how long it is until they're completely lost #shoveling this into my mouth #biting and screaming in a good way #he has more scars under his shirt btw i just didn't really include them #also lemme infodump about him a bit okay so he used to be full of life and joked around #but i'm playing him as presently being empty and just wanting to throw himself on a sword #like being able to tell Syfyn that he's tired and to just end it? THANKING HER?? #i'm insane. i'm biting him. i'm crying over him #the only thing he's living for at this point is the Main Group and his sister #and that's only until his mission is over (CURRENTLY!!!) #because by god i am going to make this about how life is hard and suffering exists at every corner but you have to keep going anyway #because life- and love- is worth it i'm #biting

[instantpansies]

formal literary analysis is just fanfic for nerds

#i'm trying to write an analysis on the way the wizard of oz has been historically interpreted rn and it is going so bad #apparently i'm the only person who has ever put together just like. an actual paper (not a magazine article) comparing and contrasting #the various allegorical readings of oz?? and unfortunately i cannot analyze my own old writing #i need to pick a new topic but the paper is due tomorrow morning im so tired this is awful. im crying thinking about it #i have spent the past two days combing through oz analysis. i have not found a single source that doesn't directly just do its own analysis #i need analysis of the analysis does that make sense. and it has to be from the past five years. i am falling i am failing #i am drowning help me to breathe etc. this is torture and i cannot find a singular fucking source #JUST TELL ME ABOUT MORE THAN ONE INTERPRETATION!!! THAT IS ALL I FUCKING WANT FROM YOU JUST TELL ME THERES MULTIPLE WAYS #TO INTERPRET THIS 100 YEAR OLD BOOK. I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU MENTIONED IT IN UR INTRO #screaming crying throwing up. i gotta pick a new topic. im so tired. ignore this #anyways this post was an excuse for me to vent in tags sorry #free to rb the post if you want tho idc. i have a point u gotta admit #lit #toasty talks #wizard of oz

[amoron4everyone]

MY FUCKING DRAWING TABLET IS BROKEN

*UGLY SOBBING*

#MY LIFE IS RUINED #no #I can still draw with my finger #who needs a stupid drawing tablet and stylus pen #i don't #SOBS #fucking bitch boy xp-pen overheating and shit #I'm a man #I don't need no tablet to draw #SCREAMING CRYING ROLLING ON THE GROUND PUNCHING THE WALL THROWING UP #PLEASE #SEND HELP #I'm going to have a fucking aneurysm

[anxietywasright]

One day i wont be here anymore and maybe then you'll realize im worth more then this

#sadgirl #i'm sad #im sad and tired #im screaming inside my head #sad boy #sad but true #sad thoughts #sewerslidal #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing #this is a call for help #screaming crying throwing up #help my brain #help me #this is a cry for help #im losing my fucking mindddd #ready to kms #im going to kms #i should kms #im going to die #im going insane #im drowning #to many thoughts #save me #my dms are always open #i love yall #its too late #im sorry #i'm just so tired #dead man walking

[minzbins]

YUNHO  ♡  220611

#atzsource #ateezedit #bangzchan #forbelleseyes #ateez #yunho #jeong yunho #!melstuff #*gif #*atzlive #viki look away 🔪 #the way he's driving me fucking insane #i hate it but i also kind of like it #literally like– #screaming crying throwing up wtf #this live made me feel so many things i'll never forget it #he's just so cute and hot and so warm and soft at the same time #like i'm actually gonna go scream #and then touch some grass #viki if u read this anyway no you didn't #if u mention it? friendship over

[thatfaerieprincess]

if one more well meaning relative asks me if i have done any drawing recently i will start screaming and flip a table 🤪🙃

#it's not their fault!! it's not!!! I'm known for being The One Who Draws #they usually get updates from my parents sending out pictures of things I drew for assignments for school for years!! they haven't gotten #anything new in a long time!! #it's not their fault to ask hey have u been making anything new?? #but also if one more person asks I'll literally go fucking nuts I will start screaming crying throwing up #I will begin tearing myself limb from limb #especially if it's my grandma who I see literally every week and she in fact knows I have not been drawing #it's worse when she asks bc then it's also with that quiet pity of someone who assumes I probably haven't but hopes that I have #ANYWAY SORRY I JUST HAD TO PUT THIS SOMEWHERE #I'm doing my best and I'm not in a great space and I'm trying real hard to try and figure out who the fuck I am when my entire life isn't #Completeing Assignments #bc since middle school I have been nothing much outside of a Complete Assignments Machine #and I've found ways to bring my humor and my creativity and things I enjoy INTO Completeing Assignments #but I've somehow then learned I can ONLY do these things if they're for Completeing Assignments #and now I have graduated college and I'm trying to get a fucking job and move somewhere new and my life isn't Completeing Assignments anymor #and I haven't relearned how to have creative fun ideas outside of the assignments framework #but I want to get there again #but I need everyone to stop asking me if I have made any art recently #bc I think for a while the answer is going to be no and if it's not no it's gonna be yes but I'll have made something so fucking weird #you're going to wish I had said no and not explained that I was building a dead rat puppet #im a rambling sam

[iero]

Anyone else get super afraid they're gonna get in trouble at work after a vacation ends? For what, I don't know, but I always get this feeling... Maybe it's just me and my paranoid ass, but it never stops.

#personal #Go back to work tomorrow. Vacation is officially over after today. Crying screaming throwing up etc. etc. #Which is funny because having off on Wednesdays at my job? I go to work tomorrow and have a day off again LMAOO #I'm sitting here so fucking nervous over work. #Even though it's the same bullshit over and over again... I go back to work and I'm like 'Damn I got nervous over THIS?!'

[advisorsage]

I think I've fucked up

#i ranted to my girlfriend and i know she probably is just busy but my brain is screaming that i made her upset even though.. #my rant was about my own situation and how i feel about it and then i apologized for complaining at her and said that i wasn't supposed to #and I'm worried she thinks she's not supposed to complain to me when i just meant that i don't like telling people about my shit #and i know she said i could tell her and that she wants to support me but she and my boyfriend are my first relationships #and i don't want to fuck up and i think i have and i haven't told my boyfriend about my diagnosis yet #and I'm scared I'll complain at him too when i tell him and i don't care that he's told me i can and should complain to him #i don't want to saddle them with my complaints #and i called out of work because of how I'm feeling from my diagnosis and that's what i ranted to my girlfriend about #and i'm terrified she doesn't want to date me anymore because my reaction to being diagnosed with one more thing is so fucking pathetic #and i just need to cry and scream and throw up and i can't do any of those things and i feel like everyone except her is telling me #it's no big deal when it is a big deal and i don't think i got it through to my therapist and I'm just freaked out and i don't want to cling #and and and I'm just. i hate existing right now #i feel like i shouldn't do what i want to at home because i called out from work and i know that's stupid but i don't feel like i deserve #nice things right now despite needing them and I'm just so tired but not sleepy and i feel like I'm going to have a panic attack and #i can't even do anything about it! #fuck #i fucked myself over basically #anyway #drink water you heathens

[1nm806]

i'm literally dead (i just saw someone say theyre putting songs on a playlist for my faves nd its so so wrong i need to explode)

#jack's hawkin the headlines !! #losing my mind #i'm putting a fucking ban on anyone putting mitski mother mother lemon demon ricky montgomory and the front bottoms #on their character/ship playlists until they comprehend them better i think #no ur not allowed to put me and my husband on that. go nd get reading comprehension; read thru the lyrics nd then get back to me #explodes. #DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON PEOPLE PUTTING SCISSOR SISTERS FOR SHIN IN YTTD #“i cant decide whether you should live or die” SHUT UP YES HE CAN HED KILL THE PROTAG IN A HEARTBEAT IF U LET HIM LIVE #crying. screaming. throwing up.