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yelenasdiary · 2 years

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Hiya 👋 just want to say great work. I just saw flo at the Disney thing where she did a FaceTime to giant screen on stage and was wondering could you do a fic where character walks in when she’s on FaceTime and fans see them?

Whoopsie!!

Pairing: Florence Pugh x Reader

Summary: You accidently walked into the study while Florence was doing a live stream for a movie promo.

| Fluff | 0.9K | No Warmings |

AC: Thank you for the lovely comment! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my work! I’m also happy to be writing another Flo one-shot!! I hope you enjoy this!

You’d just gotten home from the gym and some window shopping. Florence needed the house to be silent while she did some movie promotions for The Wonder & Puss in Boots 2, usually you’d keep to yourself and be as quiet as possible, but you weren’t exactly sure how long Florence would be, so you opted for a day out by yourself. Billie greeted you at the door with a wagging tail as you kissed the top of her head softly and scratched the spot behind her ear, “where’s mom huh? Still working?” you spoke softly to her, careful not to speak too loudly. Faintly you heard a laughter come from the entertainment room, just an extra living room really but it had a large window for natural lighting and that’s where Flo would do most of her video calls and podcast interviews through covid.

“Come on girl, let’s go for a walk” you whispered to Billie who got excited at the secret word, walk. You grabbed her harness and put it on her before grabbing her matching lead and out the door the two of you went. Billie loved a good walk, a jog, and a bit of exploring whenever you and Florence were home and able to take her, if you were both away for work than the neighbour watched over her for you both.

After the walk, another hour, you took a much-needed shower and got into your PJs. Flo was nowhere to be seen so you just assumed she was still in the extra living room doing pre-recorded interviews. Instead of watching TV you made your way to the study to grab a book to read in the meantime.

“Oh no, we had a lot of fun on set” Flo’s voice spoke as you opened the door. “Shhh, I’m so sorry!” your cheeks went red. Flo looked at you from over her shoulder and smiled, a loud cheer like sound came from the laptop in front of her. “Is everything okay?” Florence asked, you nodded, “I was just gonna…never mind” you smiled with embarrassment as you began to close the door.

“Is that the lovely Y/n in the background?” a voice from the laptop asked. Florence turned back to the device and smiled, “It is!” she replied, “I’ve been going interviews and other bits and bobs all day, so she’s been entertaining herself” she chuckled, “come here darling, let them see you” Florence looked over at you again. Slowly and nervously, you took the few short steps towards your girlfriend.

“Hi Y/n, it’s lovely to see you” the interviewer smiled. “It’s lovely to meet you” you smiled, Florence shyly grabbed your hand where the camera couldn’t see and squeezed tightly to assure you it’s okay. “I was just about to ask Florence about the post she put on Instagram last week of the two of you, is it safe to say the two of you are in fact a pair?” she asked with a smile, the audience woo’d at the idea. You looked down at Florence who was smiling at you already, her thumb stroking the top of your hand gently before she looked back to the laptop. “Yes, this wonderful, beautiful human being is my partner” she confirmed with the audience going crazy.

“Well, congratulations to the two of you, you make a wonderful couple” the interview smiled once more. “Thank you, she’s amazing” you replied, “I’m just going to grab a book and wait for you” you whispered to Florence when she let go of your hand.

You made yourself comfortable on the sofa with a book and Billie at your feet. It was around 6:30pm when Florence came into the living room with a big stretch before playfully taking your book from your hands. “Hey!” you looked at her with a pout, “I was reading that” you added. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too” she joked, leaving down and kissing gently. “Mmm, I guess I could forgive you after that” you hummed with a smile, Florence kissed you again. “Yeah, I forgive you” you said, gently pulling her over the head of the sofa and on top of you. She giggled at your action as you wrapped your arms around her. “Are you okay with everybody knowing?” she asked, brushing locks of hair out of your face.

“That I get to call you, my girl? Of course, I’m okay with it”

Flo smiled, looking into your eyes. “You really are adorable” she pecked your cheek. “Says you!” you kissed her lips once more before she removed herself from your body and wandered into the kitchen, “are you hungry, darling?” she called. “Depends, can I have the chefs special?” you replied with a smile to yourself.

“What would that be?” you heard Florence chuckle, “extra cuddles in bed tonight” you made your way to the kitchen. “Well, in that case, of course my love” Florence smiled before pulling out ingredients from the fridge.

Later that night, Florence kept her promise and cuddle you tightly while one hand ran her fingers through your hair. “Have I ever mentioned out beautiful you are? How soft your hair is and how much I adore your smile?” she spoke softly, your eyes already drifting to a slumber from the comfort of her hold. “You may have mentioned it” you mumbled tiredly. “Go to sleep my love, I love you” she said before you fell asleep.

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #fanfiction

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neocatharsis · 3 years

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NCT’s Mark Lee on Dreams, Instagram Poetry, and Growing Up

Mark has a lot going on — but he’s making time for poetry, introspection, and, of course, the members of NCT Dream. - Vivien Wu

“I’ve been thinking about dreams a lot these days!” Mark Lee exclaims over Zoom from SM Entertainment’s Seoul headquarters.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

NCT Dream’s original teenage concept meant that members were supposed to “graduate” when they came of age, and as the oldest, Mark was the first to leave the group at the end of 2018. Having grown attached, however, fans were devastated at his departure; after a year of separation, SM announced that the graduation system would be scrapped and that he would rejoin the group. Their new album, Hot Sauce, is the first with Mark in over two years. As fellow member Haechan declared in an interview with Teen Vogue earlier this week, “Mark [is] very special. NCT Dream means Mark.”

But before the rapper led NCT Dream, and before he joined NCT U and NCT 127 and SuperM — the man is in high demand — Mark’s childhood dream was writing. He grew up in Toronto, and through doing school projects and essays quickly discovered that he had a natural way with words. Inspired by Percy Jackson author Rick Riordan, Harry Potter, and James Patterson, Mark dreamt of becoming an author, long before he was recruited by SM at a global audition in Canada in 2012. “When I was in school, I was always the kind of guy who would write more than expected, and that became a thing that clicked for me,” he says. “I was like, ‘Maybe it’s something that I naturally do?’ But then that kind of turned into rap writing too, so I guess they kind of clicked together.” It explains his prolific career as a lyricist; since debuting, he’s amassed over 30 songwriting credits across his various groups, contributing to songs as iconic as NCT U’s “Boss,” NCT 127’s “Cherry Bomb,” and NCT Dream’s “Chewing Gum.”

Even with such an extensive body of work, however, penning lyrics hasn’t satiated his appetite for literary expression. In an interview with Japanese magazine Men’s Non-No, he revealed that he still hopes one day to write a book, whether that be a novel, autobiography, or something more philosophical.

In the meantime, he’s taken to writing what are basically short poems on his Instagram, which he created just a few months ago. He’s gathered over 4.5 million followers since then, but having such a large audience hasn’t deterred him from being endearingly vulnerable with the way he writes. When I refer to them as poems, he laughs and looks embarrassed, but when I ask him to tell me the stories behind them, he’s enthusiastic again. They’re short, but offer brief glimpses into Mark the writer — sharp, inquisitive, and thoughtful. As pieces of literature, they’re a little rough around the edges, but the sincerity he’s known for shines through, illuminating the introspective, philosophical side that may not be so obvious in person.

His first poem, loosely titled “Late Night Scribbling,” put into words his musings about sleep, thoughts, feelings, and writing. It meanders from topic to topic, hovering between feelings of hope and hopelessness, before ending with a comically awkward “haha.”

“I actually wrote that by imagining how I wanted to organize my Instagram page,” he explains. “I was thinking of creating an Instagram, then I realized that, well, I’m not really a picture kind of guy, I’m not really a travelling kind of guy… I kind of studied who I am first, and I [asked myself], ‘What’s something that I can really portray in an intimate way?’ and it turned out to be writing.”

“I started to brainstorm what kind of topics I could write about, and then from there on, I started to write a little each and every night, and that turned into Late Night Scribbling,” he continues. “That kind of gave me courage to start Instagram in the first place, that piece of writing.”

Two weeks later, he followed it up with “Black Socks,” a whimsical ode to, well, black socks — complete with accompanying photos of him wearing said socks. Immediately, it feels more confident and cohesive than its predecessor. Using the neat and tidy look of black socks as a metaphor, he describes his own mindset for living life: “Pleasure from perfect alignment; That also goes for my ability to be parallel with my thoughts and actions; I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep it consistent even when forgotten like a working habit.”

Comments on the posts praise his writing and encourage him to continue sharing these small pieces of himself. On the stage, Mark takes on a confident, larger-than-life persona, while in vlogs and spoken interviews, he’s a bubbly character full of laughter and boyish charm. What the poems show is that, beneath these outer appearances, there’s another layer of complexity that is yet to be fully explored, and it’s not surprising that fans want to know more.

His day job as a K-pop idol doesn’t allow a lot of time for hobbies, though, and he confesses to not having written much lately. Despite that, he’s determined to stay in the industry for as long as possible. “Longevity is something that I’ve always been aiming for,” he says. “I’m willing to do this for a long time, and that requires a lot of work. I’m willing to take that as a challenge and I’m trying to stay as long as I can, but with quality.”

That focus on quality informs his preparations for the upcoming promotions with NCT Dream. In both their fictional world and ours, NCT Dream are a central component of NCT by virtue of their unique focus on growth — the seven members were aged between 14 and 17 when the group first debuted in 2016. Fast-forward five years, and the members are now 19 to 21, having reached a milestone in January when the youngest, Jisung, finally became a legal adult in Korea. When asked if he feels like an adult yet, though, Mark gives an extremely relatable answer with zero hesitation.

“I still feel like I’m in middle school, I’m gonna be totally honest. I swear to God, I feel like I’m… All right, I’ll put it up — I feel like I’m in high school!” He laughs. “I even had this talk with Jisung, ‘cos he’s the latest that turned into an adult. He said that he still feels like he’s a student, he doesn’t feel like he’s 20 [19 in international age] right now.”

It’s been a long time since all seven Dream members — Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung — have released an album together, and as the first full-length album since their debut, the fan anticipation is palpably intense. Mark himself has mentioned in various vlogs how important he believes this comeback to be, and that conviction becomes obvious whenever he talks about it.

“We had a talk all together, the seven of us, without any cameras or anything. I brought all the guys together and we talked before the whole momentum started, and I said that I’m willing to put my everything on this one. Like, I always had, but I feel like… the whole universe, or like— ” He pauses, trying to figure out how to articulate himself, and his next line is the most emphatic of our whole conversation. “There are things that are out of our control, but we can see and feel when the pieces match together sometimes, and I feel like this specific moment, this particular album, kind of had those essential parts.”

He’s thinking about all of the context surrounding this comeback: the group’s coming of age, the reunion of all seven members, the scale of the album, the fact that Jisung has only just recovered from a leg injury that meant he couldn’t dance for months — even the fact that 2020 was, against all odds, the best year yet for NCT, with release after release bringing them unprecedented success and momentum.

“I felt that coming and I explained all of that [to the group],” he continues. “This whole period of time has a lot of meaning to it, and we’re not taking that for granted, we’re working hard.” With everything that’s happened, Hot Sauce is a historic moment for NCT Dream, and that’s been reflected in their numbers — the album clocked over 1.7 million pre-orders, obliterating their previous record of 500,000 for last year’s EP, Reload.

Their familial bond and the success that has come with it is the culmination of years spent living, working, and growing up together. The members have collectively missed out on key experiences that most teenagers might take for granted, distanced as they are from normal life, and the group also benefits from an unusually loose adherence to traditional Korean age hierarchy. The result is a brotherhood that goes beyond just being colleagues. “What we have is pretty intimate, and it’s also genuine,” Mark says.

About his role, he is matter of fact. “I’m by far the most easily approachable punching bag for the team. I am not… complaining…” He laughs. “But all jokes aside, I feel like my role for this team… Yes, I am the oldest and I am the leader but I’m also… In Korea, in the culture, age is very important, but we’ve come so far that all those borders kind of just vanished and we’re all pretty much friends, and I guess I’m just a friend of theirs too.”

It’s true that, despite being the leader, his friendly personality and endearingly awkward mannerisms mean that he commands about as much authority as a small puppy. Instead, much like a puppy, he is showered with love and affection (fellow member Chenle refers to Mark as his son and his actual puppy Daegal as Mark’s little sister), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a dependable leader figure. The opposite is true — in Renjun’s words, Mark’s presence unites the group in a way that makes him irreplaceable.

And while this may be the fifth year since their debut, in the grand scheme of things, the members of NCT Dream are still very, very young — by most standards, they would still be considered to have their entire careers ahead of them. Growth has brought them here, but where does Mark think it will take them in the future?

“Growing just never stops for us, I can see us growing continuously, endlessly,” he replies. “What the future holds is something that we will never know, but we always do try to prepare during the present, and so with whatever time we have currently and with whatever album, or whatever stage, or whatever piece of music it may be, we’re willing to make sure that we have the next one coming too.”

A final thought. “I’m glad that we’re striving for that, ‘cos we started off as…” Mark shakes his head, “…as babies.”

#nct #nct dream #Mark #nct 127

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tinawritesstuff · 4 years

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A Not So Friendly Match (Henry Cavill x Reader)

Pairing: Henry Cavill/ First Person Reader

Wordcount: 4.6k

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, angst if you squint a little.

A/N: Hello! This was based on an idea my good friend @1ookatthestars00 gave me. I don’t know a thing about rugby, the stuff I wrote was purely researched on the internet, and I’m sorry if any of those facts is wrong. I hope you all enjoy, especially you my love!

Taglist: @cavill-sass

@tillthelandslide

@1ookatthestars00

@al-wiisa

Being in a relationship with a rugby fan is never easy, considering they’re always on edge when their team plays some important game. Well, imagine what could possibly happen in a relationship with not only one, but two rugby fans, AND from different teams.

Henry and (Y/N) were both a really particular couple. Both of them stubborn, hardworking and passionate about the different activities and stuff they enjoyed doing and watching. One of those being rugby, they supported their teams separately and in their own ways: Henry would always have both a bottle of Guinness beer and his Jersey beanie on top of his head, and his girlfriend would always have a Guernsey shirt and a bottle of beer next to a bowl of chips.

What happens when both their favorite teams were set to play against each other in the annual rugby union charity match and Henry gets invited to play? We’re about to find out.

Today couldn’t have gone any worse than it went. Working for the English National Health Service, and considering this Covid nightmare, is not easy at all. Specially when you have to work to help people and on top of that, be extra careful to not get infected. All I wanted to do was to go back home and enjoy some time with my man.

When I get inside my home, I leave my shoes and coat inside the little closet by the door after sanitizing them and myself with a lot of alcohol gel and frown when I don’t see Henry nor Kal coming to welcome me back, which is weird considering that they both came back from Scotland yesterday and, usually when that’s the case, they run to fill me with loads of love. I start walking to the living room, going though the foyer whistling for Kal, but they never come. When I reach said room, I find both my boys laying in the couch with the tv on in front of them and, when they notice my presence, the two bears run my way. Henry engulfs me in his arms and picks me up, making me wrap my legs around his strong torso; Kal? Oh, that bear. He just jumps between Hen and I, positioning himself on my lap, thankfully my human beast is strong enough to hold us both up in his arms.

We laugh together and suddenly I feel a complete sense of peace I missed all day. He’s here, with me, he’s home. He feels like home. Hen puts us down, keeping his hands on my waistñ for good measure, and we finally share a wonderful, earthshaking kiss (well, not literally, but you know what I mean).

- How was your day, dove?

- Ugh. – it’s all I need to say and he chuckles. – Honestly, I love my job but sometimes it can be a lot.

- I understand. Want to talk about it?

- Not really, honey. – I pout a little and he pecks my lower lip, then goes for a deeper kiss, which has me sighing against his mouth.

When we break apart, I pay attention to his attire and I see that he’s wearing his Jersey shirt, which can possibly mean one thing.

- Is Jersey supposed to play today? I didn’t hear anything about it.

- Nope, love. I’m wearing this shirt because I had to make a post on Instagram, thanking Jersey for inviting me to play a match for the charity event they’re running next Saturday.

- Oh, that’s great news, bubs! – I exclaim excitedly and he nods his head with a big smile. – I won’t cheer for the team, but I’ll obviously be there to support you and help you take care of your wounds.

- Oh baby, nothing would make me happier. You gonna be wearing my Jersey shirt? – he smiles cheekily and I let out an unlady-like snort.

- Yeah, right. – I roll my eyes, but smile anyway. – I love you, bear, but not even my love for you will change the fact that Jersey, to me, is the worst fucking team since the appearance of rugby in this world.

- You did not just say that. – he pretended to be deeply hurt and I just let out a giggle when he tickles my ribs. – You’re a little shit.

I only laugh in his face and retire myself from his arms, to go shower and change my work attire. He follows after me and I just know what he’s planning to do.

Once inside the room, I start removing my uniform jacket, then my pants, leaving myself in my underwear in front of the touch starved man that’s standing by the door. I look at him, batting my lashes innocently, and then shake my head.

- Don’t even think about it, handsome. I have this horrible hospital smell, and I don’t want to do anything else but shower it off.

- Mhm, I was actually thinking, - he paused and moved his hand through his strong jaw, as if he was actually thinking. – I haven’t showered today, and I went to the gym this afternoon with Kal after our cardio session, it would be a shame to waste such quantity of water if we shower separately, don’t you think?

- Oh, how thoughtful of you, Cavill. – I roll my eyes at him but a little smirk takes place on my face.

I grab a towel from the drawer and head to the attached bathroom, unclasping my bra and removing it from my body as I walk. I turn my head to Henry’s direction and smile alluringly at him.

- You coming or not, handsome? – and then disappear inside through the door.

Saturday comes way quicker than I expected it and thankfully I wasn’t set to cover any shift that day, which gave me the opportunity to be with Henry and go to the match with him. We had traveled to Jersey the day before to get settle in the island peacefully and with no rush, and this same morning, we woke up together to go for a run with Kal, then came back and showered (separately this time, because he had things to fix and settle before leaving) and finally had breakfast before he took off, leaving me with Kal.

Which brings us here, to the afternoon, a couple of hours before the match. I usually know what to wear to events like this, considering that it’s not something really fancy (or is it?), but today seems not to be the case, because I can’t decide if I should go elegant but casual, or completely casual.

I decide to text Henry to ask him, but in the meantime, I decide to pamper myself a bit and do my skincare routine, because the last time I did it was waaaaaaay long ago. After I’m done, I continue with my hair and finally, I paint my nails. When I check my phone again, I see that Henry has replied and the text says:

Wear anything you want to, just not that dirty Guernsey shirt xX.

I smile and shake my head, because I can’t understand how my love for this man only grows more and more each day, even though we have so different preferences. Guess that’s what makes our relationship so interesting and versatile.

I decide to go with casual, but pretty. I grab a pair of plaid pants, cream sweater and my pointy shoes. I pick a light brown coat and a black beanie, but I leave them on the bed to put them on later.

After what feels like years, I see Hen’s car stopping by the front gate and I put on my coat and beanie to get out of the house. I lock the door, run to his car and I can hear him wolf whistling my way, which makes me laugh out loud. I open the passenger door seat to get into the car, greet him with a big smile and a long kiss, which he reciprocates with big passion.

When I’m done, I decide to wait for Henry in the foyer, checking social media and uploading a picture of me smiling with my sunglasses on, on my Instagram Story with the caption “Ready to support my bear! (Not Jersey though 🤮🤮!)” and tag Henry on it.

The drive to St. Peter (currently known as Stade Santander International) is a relatively long one, considering that the house we were renting was on the opposite side of the island, and when we arrive, I can see a bunch of people with cameras and flashes waiting for Henry to make his big appearance. He parks the car, stops it and then we get off to walk hand in hand to the big entrance of the stadium. When we get inside, I can see the big pitch in front of me and I can’t help but feel giddy about the idea of watching a match from up close, after the longest time of my life. Henry talks with some people, introduces me to some other and then they finally lead him to the changing rooms and showers for him to get ready for the match.

I pace around, just looking at the walls’ decorations, the medals, trophies, everything. I take pictures, but only to take the piss on Henry and tell him that Guernsey has waaaaay more prizes than Jersey does (which isn’t true, but I love to rile him up). After that, I decide to check social media while I continue walking around, until I reach the stairs that lead me to the chairs. Once I’m situated, I sit on one of the chairs, that it’s actually in front of the pitch so it gives me a really good view of the arena, and keep scrolling through my Instagram page until I hear someone clearing their throat. I look up and I can see a smiling Henry staring at me expectantly, which causes me to widen my eyes and bite my lip, because he looks just so good right now, that I don’t know if we’ll make it to the house before I make him rip my clothes off.

- Sooo, what do you think? – he looks down at himself and then back at me. - Do I look like a rugby player?

- Mmmmhm, don’t know. Turn around. – I order and he giggle but does as I say. – Mmm, yeah, that’s what I thought.

I look down at his shorts- covered butt, and it looks exactly the way I was expecting. I slap one his cheeks playfully and he let’s out a surprise yelp, turning his body back around to face me again. Hen leans down and kisses me slowly, tasting the waters first, but I grab his face and pull him as close to me as the bar lets us, which earns me a moan from him.

When we break the kiss, I peck his forehead and look at him right in the eyes. It’s a promise, a little ritual we have and perform to assure the other that we’re present, that we’re proud of our accomplishments, that we love each other no matter what. He smiles widely at me and moves his head to the side to kiss my palm, and I peck both his cheekbones before pecking his lips one last time.

- You’ll be amazing. No matter what, I’ll be here supporting your sexy ass till the end. I love you, bear.

- You’re so good to me, my love. So, so, so good you have no idea. – he goes back to kiss me and then breaks away. – I love you; I need to run and warm up. Don’t go anywhere, okay?

- Okay.

He takes off, leaving me alone with the feeling of his lips still lingering on my mouth, and I take a seat to enjoy the game that’s set to start in a few minutes.

The reporter starts making the presentation of the local team, explaining what positions the players will be playing in, and when he goes to the visiting team, my eyes widen and I start laughing uncontrollably. It’s fucking Guernsey.

Now my heart is definitely torn. What am I supposed to do? Cheer for my beloved boyfriend or my favorite team? Ugh, this is a decision I never thought I’d have to make.

The game starts, Jersey takes the lead but one of the Guernsey guys tackles him away from the score area, which causes me to cheer and jump excitedly. Henry is sitting on the backups bench, so I don’t have to cheer for him just yet; meaning I can actually support my team.

The first half ends quicker than I would’ve expected, with Guernsey on top by five points, which has me giddy. It’s when the second half starts that the coach decides to bring my bear in, and I clap excitedly while watching him running into the pitch. The referi indicates the continuation of the game with his whistle, and I can see Henry grabbing the ball and running away from the big men that go after him. I take a deep breath, trying to convince myself that he’s done this before, he know what he’s doing and everything’s going to be fine.

I have mixed feelings about this, going from super scared to super horny at the same time. One of the many things that made me fall for this man were his looks and the macho demeanor, so seeing him dodging punches (but also receiving a few), tackling other guys and running away like a wild animal just wakes up a deep desire inside me.

Oh, that man is going to have it good tonight. I don’t even care how tired he is, he’ll have to fix the mess he created on my panties.

The game finally ends with the victory of Guernsey over Jersey, and I just know I have to mock Henry about it. The whole team goes inside, to the showers I suppose, and I decide to go after them and wait for my man outside the changing room door. When I reach my destiny, I check for good measure that Henry is, in fact, in there; which he is. I look to the sides, noticing the he’s alone, I walk to him and hug his neck from behind startling him a bit.

- Well, hello mister. – I whisper in his ear and he kisses one of my arms.

- Hello, my dear love. – he replies in a tired voice.

- I know for a fact that you’re tired, but I have to admit that watching you there, playing like a bull, got me quite excited…- I admit in a sultry voice, kissing the spot behind his ear. – I’m so wet for you baby, specially since Guernsey beat your ass as well. – I giggle and take a step back because I know what’s coming for me.

- Oh honey, you better stop if you know what’s good for you. I’m not in the mood to be mocked. – he warns me turning his body to face me.

He arches one of his eyebrows while looking at me starting to undo the buttons of my coat.

- Oh Henry, but I know exactly what’s good for me.

I continue undressing myself until I’m standing in from of him in just my underwear, but he ignores me and keeps removing his sweaty attire to get into the shower.

- C'mon, baby. Are you going to give up on me and lose the opportunity to fuck my brains out like you lost the game?

Fuck, I know that my ass is going to burn like boiling water tomorrow, but I’m so wet for him that I don’t care about the consequences right now.

- This is the last warning, baby girl. Stop right at this moment or your ass in gonna look like sweet, red peach tomorrow.

- Ugh, maybe I should go ask one of the Guernsey guys to help me with this, after all they can score anything they want. But you can’t, can you babe?

Apparently, that’s the last thing I need to say, because he gets up from his place abruptly and walks towards me in a speed I’d never seen before. He grabs me by both my biceps and looks at me dead in the eyes, making me gulp and look at him as innocently as I can, but I know he doesn’t buy my façade.

- Do you want to repeat that, my love? – he asks in a threating tone

- No, daddy.

- That’s what I thought. – he removes his briefs in a quick movement without letting go of me and throws them away – Not so smart now, are you? Is this what you wanted? Huh? You wanted me to punish you like the slut you are?

- Oh god, Henry. – I let out in a moan and close my eyes, but he grabs my face in one of his big hands and makes me open them again.

- What did you call me, little one? Didn’t quite catch that.

- Daddy, I meant daddy. – I cry out when the hand that isn’t holding my face goes down my body till he reaches my underwear.

- You want to repeat what you said, my darling?

- No daddy, I’m sorry.

- It wasn’t a request, bunny. It was an order.

I gulp audibly and shake my head, because suddenly I feel a level of embarrassment and I don’t want to say it. He pulls my hair, not enough to make it hurt, but enough to make me whimper and close and open my eyes to make the tears go away.

- Now, let’s try again. What did you say earlier?

- Get dressed, we’re going home.

- That I should go to one of the Guernsey guys and ask him to fuck me because any of them would be better than you. – I close my eyes and take a deep breath, because now I’m regretting not thinking before saying it – But I didn’t mean it, daddy. No one fucks me better than you, I promise.

- I’m not sure now, (Y/N).

Fuck, he rarely calls me by my name. Specially not when we’re about to fuck. He’s mad, but mostly he’s hurt.

On the way to the place we’re staying at, none of us says anything. Him because he’s mad, and me because I don’t dare to utter a word out. Should I apologize? I know he’s hurt, because we don’t joke about other people “replacing” us, especially in cases like this.

The only sound is the radio, but even that won’t stop me from thinking that I fucked up. Badly. When we reach the house, he parks and stops the engine, but doesn’t get out of the car.

- Hen… - I try in a soft voice.

- Don’t. Don’t say a word. I want you to get out of this car, go to the room and wait for me on the bed in your underwear.

I let out a quiet whimper, but do as he says. When I get inside the house, Kal comes to greet me and I pet him, going to the room right after. I reach the room and then do as Henry told me to.

I can hear him playing with Kal and greeting him, and he stays with the bear for a good couple of minutes. In the meantime, I’m still laying on the bed, wearing just underwear.

He comes into the room and stays by the door, watching me quietly. And just when I think he’s going to make a move on me, he just walks past the bed and doesn’t pay me any mind. I let out a huff and turn to lay on my belly, leaving my ass exposed for him to see.

He takes his good time in the bathroom, showering I suppose, and when he comes out he’s wearing nothing but a white towel around his slim waist, leaving his hairy chest on display. I bite my lip and extend my arms to signal him that I want him with me in the bed. He sighs and walks slowly towards my direction.

- You know you overstepped the line today, right? – he asks me once he’s sitting next to me and all I can do is nod – You hurt my feelings, little one.

- I know that, Hen, and I’m so, so, sorry. I swear I regretted saying it the moment the words left my mouth – I pout and hesitate to go closer to him, because I don’t know if he wants me to touch him.

Henry only nods and opens his arms, which makes me move closer to him and hug his strong body, leaving my head on his lap.

- I don’t want any other man but you, my love. I’m sorry I said that. I shouldn’t have, because you’re more than enough for me. – I whisper against the skin of his stomach, and then leave a little peck in there.

- I know that, my dove. It’s okay.

- It’s not though. You’ve spent every single day since the moment we became an item making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. You’ve made me feel enough and loved and cared for, and I promised to myself that I was going to try my hardest and making you feel the same security you make me feel. Today I failed you, and I’m sorry, even if it was a joke.

He says nothing, only grabs my jaw with one hand and leans down to kiss me. I put my hand around his wrist, and I feel him deepen the kiss, which makes sigh against his mouth. We break apart and I get on my knees in front of him, looking into his eyes, and grabbing his face to kiss him one more time, more fiercely this time.

- Let me make it up to you, my love. Let me prove to you that you’re the only man I need. – I whisper against his mouth and he grabs my body and turns us around, so he’s on top of me.

- You can do that later, honey. Now I’m going to show you that I’m the only man you’ll ever need.

With that, he just devours my mouth with his, making me whimper and moan, while roaming his hands up and down the sides of my body. Then, he poses his fingers on the waistband of my panties and pulls them down, kissing my thighs and then my calves as he removes the undergarment from my body. After that, he goes touching all the way up, going from legs to my back, until he reaches my bra and unclasps it, taking it off next.

Henry looks at me in the eyes and then attaches his mouth to one of my nipples, making me gasp and grab his curls to pull him closer to me. Then he goes for my other nub, which is the most sensitive one of the two pair, and it makes me let out a long moan. Hen spends some good time on it, to finally let it go of his mouth with a pop.

- I want to make you feel so good, my love. Even though I don’t think you deserve it.

- Oh, Henry. – I whimper when he starts to travel south, leaving a trail of kisses on my belly and then my mound.

He then attaches his mouth to my labia, lapping and kissing around my lips and entrance, paying no mind to my little bundle of nerves, which causes me to let out a groan of protest. He’s got me so wet since the match started, this isn’t fucking fair.

He starts to make out with my lower lips, putting his tongue in the way and using it to run it around all the lower area of my womanhood, slowly, but with fervour. Then, he goes to my inner thigh and leaves kisses in one and the other. Then, he goes back to my entrance and starts penetrating me with his tongue, while looking at me in the eyes. He’s going hurtfully slow, and it causes me to arch my back in desperation, because I need him to just fuck me senseless.

Of course, I enjoy slow, passionate sessions of love making, but right now all I want is for him to become a wild stud and fuck my brains out. He inserts two of his fingers inside of me, kissing my mound while doing so. Finally, I can feel him moving the two impostors that rest inside my pussy, building a good pace, starting slowly and then increasing the speed. I pull his curls to bring his head closer to me, and he moans against me, making me shudder.

He finally, finally, gets his tongue on my clit, lapping around it and flicking it to bring me closer to my well needed release. After a couple of minutes, I can feel my walls clenching around his fingers, and so does he.

- C'mon baby, give it to me. I can feel your sweet, tight cunt squeezing my fingers. Cum for me. – he encourages me and that’s all the motivation I needed to let it go.

I let out a loud and long moan, holding his head against my sensitive wetness with one hand and one of the soft pillows under my hair with the other. I close my eyes trying to get myself together again, and I feel him kissing his way up my body. He positions himself on top of me, caging me between his body and the mattress, and leaves his weight resting on his elbows on either side of my head. Henry leans down and kisses me briefly, letting me taste myself on his mouth, and I wrap my legs around his thick, strong body, to feel him even closer.

Without any warning, he gets inside me, making me gasp loudly and hold onto him for dear life. His thrusts are deep and calculated, as they usually are when he’s in the mood to go slow. My body wraps itself more tightly around his, and we share a breathtaking kiss, making the connection grow even more. As the passion rises, his movements become sloppier and more uncoordinated, which gives away that he’s getting close to his own release. I cling to him even more, hiding my face between his head and shoulder, and he moves one of his hands to stimulate my clit. That’s all I need to come for the second time tonight.

- Ohh, baby, you feel so good. C’mon Hen, cum for me. Know you’re close, come on. – I encourage him and he moans in my ear.

- Oh, baby girl, I’m going to fill you up so good. You’ll feel me right here. – Henry puts his hand on my lower belly and I let out a moan.

- C’mon bear, I can feel you throbbing inside my little cunt, fill me up and put a baby in me.

He lets out a moan and groans loudly, letting himself go inside me, filling my womb with his seed. I don’t know if that comment came because of the heat of the moment, but it caused the effect I was looking for. He lets himself collapse on top of me, and stays there for a couple of seconds before moving his head to the side to kiss me. I reciprocate the gesture, holding him closer to me (as if that was even possible) and finally let him go.

- I love you so much. – I whisper looking at him in the eyes, those beautiful baby blues.

- I love you too, my love. – he kisses my forehead and then breaths in. – I love you too.

It’s the last thing I hear before falling asleep, peacefully wrapped between his strong arms. Where I belong.

#henry cavill #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill one shot #henry cavill smut #tina writes

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ofstarsandvibranium · 4 years

Text

Insert Spiderman Meme Here

Fandom: Marvel (Twitch Gamer AU)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

Summary: You're livestreaming Among Us for Twitch and you come across another person who's doing the same thing and they also happen to be your favorite gamer??? Whaaaat?

A/N: Based off my post here.

“Hello everyone!” you greeted your viewers that were hopping onto your livestream. You used your split screen feature to show that you were hopping onto Among Us, but you were also to be seen as well.

“So like I said on my instagram story, I will be playing Among Us. Soooo let’s see how this goes!”

You typed in your twitch username as your name for your avatar. You then tapped onto a server with seven people. You were assigned the color cyan and you went to pick out your accessory, “What should I wear, peeps? Should I wear a plunger? Oh, how about the flower? Wait! The cowboy hat! Save a horse, ride a cowboy,” you snickered at your statement.

“Okay. Let’s do this!” you watched as the countdown started and you were assigned to be a crewmate.

You looked at your list of tasks and proceeded to head to the admin first to swipe your card. Several other people did the same and you caught sight of a username you know, “Hey! BorkyBarks! i wonder if that’s actually him. Anyway, I’m gonna keep going.” your little cyan character went towards electrical and you found lime green dead. You immediately report and you’re all brought to an emergency meeting.

Many players immediately ask, “Where?”

And you reply, “In electrical. Went fix wires and found lime. Didn’t see anyone else.”

The yellow character, whose username was MacnCheese, asked, “Wait, are you actually Y/N the twitch streamer?”

You look into your camera and shrugged, “Should I tell them the truth?” you read the chat on the side and saw many people say yes, so you did, “Lol yeah. It’s me. I’m streaming right now. Say hi!”

The users say hi and the supposed BorkyBarks exclaimed, “WAIT. I’M STREAMING TOO!”

And then you craned your neck, looking at the game chat, “WAIT, YOU’RE REALLY BORKYBARKS?!”

“Lol yeah!”

You quickly pull out your phone and tap onto the twitch app, typing in BorkyBarks and see he’s streaming too.

You screamed, “OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS! IT’S REALLY BORKYBARKS AKA BUCKY BARNES! WE’RE IN THE SAME GAME! HAHAHAHAHA! WHAT EVEN?!”

You quickly type, “LOL THIS IS WILD!” and then tap on skip since everyone else was doing so.

“Alright. I’m gonna finish these tasks.” you travelled to electrical to do your long task. You did the wiring there, then moved to admin, then while in the middle of fixing the cafeteria wiring, a meeting is called.

Black, whose username was sndnoods, said, “I SAW ORANGE VENT!”

To which orange replied, “whaddahex i didnt vent!”

Black, “YES YOU DID! I SAW YOU!”

“Hmmmm...,” you pursed you lips and narrowed your eyes, “Should I vote for black or orange?”

You read the chat and got more replies on black than orange, so you voted for black. While waiting for everyone else, you asked, “Hey, Borky, you almost done with tasks?”

He replied, “Yeah. I got two more.”

Then you responded, “Wanna stick together when you’re done?”

“Sure!”

So, black got voted off and he wasn’t the imposter. So the game continued. You went to finish the wiring in the cafeteria, and then empty the garbage shoot in O2. Lastly, you had to go to weapons and shoot debris.

While you were in the middle of it, a death was reported.

Orange was dead, so that meant they weren’t the imposter either. Some people left the game, so it was only five of you now. You and Bucky as Cyan and Blue, then brown, red, and green.

Brown said that red was looking sus and green agreed. It seemed like there was a consensus so all of you voted for red, but red was taking a while to vote. So in the meantime, you chatted to Bucky.

“Can I just say that you’re one of my favorite twitch gamer?”

To which he replied, “No way! Same here!”

And then he added, “I meant, you’re my favorite twitch gamer too. lol.”

Then you said, “[insert spiderman meme here]”

Your phone started blowing up with notifications from twitter, so you quickly checked it out.

gamergirlxoxo: OMG. BUCKY AND Y/N ARE BOTH STREAMING ON TWITCH AND THEY ENDED UP IN THE SAME GAME AND THEY’RE EACH OTHER’S FAVE TWITCH GAMER. WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

meesaisamessa: wait, ngl, bucky and y/n would make a really cute gamer couple. i ship it.

Meanwhile on Bucky’s end....

“Oh my god, oh my god,” he cups his round, bearded cheeks and stares at his computer screen and then his camera, “I’m Y/N’s favorite gamer? What? How? I-” he pauses to chuckle in disbelief, “This is so crazy, guys. I’ve been following Y/N’s twitch career from the beginning. They’re an awesome player and so cool and I’M their favorite gamer?! So fucking unreal!”

The meeting ends and, obviously, red is voted off, but isn’t the imposter.

Bucky’s finished with his tasks, so he goes to follow you to watch you finish your tasks. He wipes his hands on his tshirt that hugs his round belly, “I’m suddenly nervous and I don’t even know why. I’m not, like, actually meeting Y/N, so I don’t know why my hands are super sweaty now. Heh.”

You finish in weapons and he thinks that’s your last task since you start just roaming around. When you get to storage, the doors suddenly shut in front of Bucky and he’s freaking out, “Oh no! Y/N!” he starts running around in circles waiting for the doors to open and when they do, he rushes inside to find your dead body, “OH NO! Y/N!” he reports your body and then types, “I WILL AVENGE YOU Y/N!” and then added, “also they were found in storage. I was with them, but got locked out and when the doors opened, they were dead.”

“It’s gotta be brown.” Green said and Brown immediately defended themselves, “No! It’s Green! They’ve been faking tasks!”

Bucky groaned, “Shit, I don’t know who to choose. Guys, help.”

The chat started blowing up with different people saying Brown or Green, but a lot of people were saying green.

“Alright, I’m trusting you guys!” he votes green and then the Victory screen appears.

“Aaayyee! We did it!” when he’s back in the lobby, he immediately goes into the chat, “Y/N, I AVENGED YOU!”

You replied, “lmao! thank you! green was a punk for that!”

He smiled at the screen and then checked the chatbox:

ZoeSmoey: LOOK AT THOSE HEART EYES!

ZoeSmoey: BUCKY TOTALLY LIKES Y/N!

greenmeansgtfo: tell them you love them! lol!

thatspideyguy: Dude, go for it. Message them!

He snorts, “We don’t even know each other, guys! I don’t wanna be creepy and shit!”

He reads the incoming messages of encouragement and then throws his hands up in the air, “Fine!” he picks up his phone and pulls up his twitter. He knows you two are mutuals, so he goes into your DMs and types up, “Hi. I know we’ve been following each other for a while, but I figured I’d give a proper greeting, not on the livestream.” when he’s done typing, he looks at his camera, “There, I did it, guys. I don’t think they’ll-”

Ping!

He looks down at his phone to see that you replied and his eyes widened, “I stand corrected!”

The two of you proceed to make your own Among Us server. Bucky is the host and he sends you the code. As soon as you’re in, he opens it up to the public and people start pouring in. You two play for another hour before you have to go.

You leave him a DM saying, “That was fun! We should play again sometime! Let me know! xxx-xxx-xxxx”

And it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

#chubby!bucky #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #gn!reader #gender neutral!reader #marvel #au #marvel au #twitch gamer au

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hockeylvr59 · 4 years

Text

Secret Love Part 19 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Was hoping to come home to Cale having poured a me a glass of wine ready to celebrate my externship (and me surviving the longest day of my week)....sadly that’s just not reality and this is the only Cale I’ve got so...it’ll just have to do I suppose.

Warnings: moderate angst, internet trolls.

Word Count: 2,443

~~~~~

You were in the middle of a house showing when your phone started buzzing incessantly. Not wanting to seem unprofessional, you ignored it as you talked with your clients about the features of the house before sending them to explore on their own for a few minutes.

Checking your phone you saw that you had missed three calls from Laura. There was no reason for her to be calling you repeatedly unless something was wrong and you quickly called her back, your heart pounding.

“Hey mom I’m in the middle of a showing, what’s up?”

“Have you heard from Cale today?” She asked.

“Not since first thing this morning…” You replied, anxiety growing. “Mom what’s going on?”

“Cale’s not answering his phone. We don’t know where he’s at.” You could hear Gary in the background as the two of them rambled back and forth. “Y/N...there are some pretty nasty rumors online about him…”

Your heart plummeted to the ground and your stomach twisted violently.

“Send me screenshots?” You pleaded. After just a minute or two, images flooded your phone that made you want to physically vomit.

Guess even a Calder trophy winner can be a deadbeat dad.

He’s on vacation while she’s waitressing...classy move there Cale.

Guess he’s not so perfect after all is he? #quinnshouldhavewonthecalder

Hearing the footsteps of your clients, you pocketed your phone attempting to mask all of the emotions rushing through your mind. After chatting with them about the house, you moved to leave and though you had planned to take them to see two more, your heart just wasn’t in it. Explaining that a family emergency had just popped up, you promised them you would reschedule as soon as possible before sliding into your car.

Your attempt to get ahold of Cale went straight to voicemail and you groaned just wishing he would pick up. Opening first instagram and then twitter you realized just what had started it all. The avs had posted a summer update about Cale with a few pictures from Iceland that he must have sent their pr department. The top reply on twitter linked an instagram post from Sara’s page where she was obviously pregnant and wearing a waitressing uniform. Her vague status read ‘working for that dough since my baby daddy is useless’ You’d barely looked at all and you were already furious and devastated, you couldn’t even imagine how Cale was feeling.

Driving home, you called your favorite coworker pleading with her to take what appointments of yours today she could before calling the rest to reschedule. With your work commitments being taken care of, your plan was to go home and change before trying to find Cale. The moment you pulled in your driveway, however, you felt your heart settle because that was definitely Cale’s car. Dialing Laura’s number again you shut your car door quietly, not sure what state you’d find Cale in on the other side of your front door.

“Hey mom...his car is here. I don’t know what I’m about to find but you know I’ll do everything I can…” Laura insisted that you could call right back if there was anything you needed and after hanging up with her, you slipped your key into the lock, pushing your way inside.

The house was quiet and after toeing off your shoes, you padded down the hall in search of your boyfriend. The sight that met you as you reached your bedroom door broke your heart. Cale was curled up on your bed, his shoulders shaking with sobs.

Crawling in beside him, not caring if your dress got rumpled, you pulled his head to your chest, cradling his large frame as best you could.

“I’m here...I got you.” You whispered, one hand scratching gently over his scalp while the other ran up and down his back. Though Cale buried his head against you, he didn’t react otherwise and you felt his tears gathering against your skin. “What can I do Cale?” You whispered eventually, hating the helpless feeling this situation had left you with.

The silence of Cale’s response made you swallow hard. You wanted to scream from the rooftops about how people were making false assumptions, how Cale was the victim in this not his ex, how even if they were right it was none of their fucking business in the first place. But you knew it would only make things worse. The only real option was to let things die down on their own. You knew the truth, Cale’s family knew the truth, your family knew the truth, Cale’s teammates knew the truth. What anyone else thought really didn’t matter but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

When Cale finally cried himself to sleep in your arms, you continued to hold him for a few minutes before you finally pulled yourself from bed. Changing clothes, you grabbed your phone and stepped out to the kitchen for a glass of water, dialing Laura again as you leaned against the kitchen counter.

“How is he?” She asked immediately.

“He’s asleep now. Finally cried himself out.” You mumbled. “He hasn’t said a word mom. It’s obvious he’s devastated, but I don’t know what to do. How do I fix this?”

“You can’t.” She admitted sadly. “Just be there for him. That’s all you can do. It may not feel like much but I’m sure he appreciates it. I appreciate it. I’m glad he’s not alone. That if he didn’t feel comfortable coming home that he felt comfortable enough to go to your home. He’s safe and you can get through this together, we can all get through this together.”

“Why do people have to be so mean?” You vented, just frustrated with all of it.

“I can’t answer that. But don’t let this rock your relationship, that would only be giving these people what they want.” She insisted.

“I’m not going anywhere mom. Cale is stuck with me.” Your words made Laura laugh and you sighed softly.

“I’m sure he’s so upset about that.” She teased. “My son is absolutely gone for you. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”

“I don’t know mom…” You grinned shaking your head. “Makes me wonder what else he got away with that you don’t know about.” You joked.

“Not funny Y/N.” She lightly chastised. Taking another sip of water you heard the buzz of a phone that wasn’t yours and you followed the sound, finding Cale’s phone with his keys at the front entry.

“Hey mom...I’m gonna let you go. I don’t want to leave Cale alone too long even if he’s sleeping.” You said, tucking your phone against your ear as you flipped Cale’s over seeing strings of notifications flash across the screen.

“Sounds good dear. Love you. Let us know if you need anything.”

“Will do...love you too mom.”

You didn’t want to invade Cale’s privacy too much but even a quick glance at his phone told you that his teammates were worried about him. Unlocking his phone with the code you’d memorized just a few days into vacation, you opened his group chat and started typing a message.

Hey guys, it’s Y/N...I haven’t read more than the 1 or 2 messages that flashed across the notifications screen because I don’t want to overstep. Just thought you guys should know that Cale really isn’t in a mindset to look at his phone. He’s not ignoring you...I’m sure he’ll get back to you guys soon...he just needs some time to process. If you have any urgent concerns my cell number is (587) 122- 3456.

Before you could talk yourself out of the message, questioning if even that was too intrusive, you pressed send, dropping Cale’s phone back with his car keys. It didn’t take more than a minute for your phone to ring and though you hesitated, answering revealed the voice of Gabe Landeskog.

“Y/N? This is Gabe.” He greeted.

“Hey Gabe.” You whispered, moving over toward the couch so that you were a little bit farther away from the open bedroom door.

“How is he?” The question made you sigh, your head falling back against the couch.

“Not so good.” You admitted. “He’s asleep right now...hopefully his dreams provide him some peace.”

“And how are you?” He followed up, not bothering to comment on Cale’s status any further.

“Heartbroken. Angry. Helpless. Take your pick.” You groaned. “There’s nothing I can do but be here and it’s frustrating.”

“Being there is probably more significant than you realize Y/N. Cale is a very private person and if he trusts you that’s not nothing.” As Gabe spoke you realized that even though you’d told your parents about your relationship, Cale must not have told anyone else yet.

“I know it’s not. I just…I want to fix it. And I know I can’t. I know we just have to wait and let this die out. But in the meantime I have to watch this tear him apart. It’s hard.” Gabe hummed in acknowledgement, a slightly uncomfortable silence filling the air for a moment before he spoke again.

“All the guys have his back...your back if you guys need anything. I’ll try and get them to back off a little so he’s not overwhelmed when he’s ready to talk. And I’m sure Cale will appreciate you reaching out to us on his behalf. I know the guys are relieved to know he’s being taken care of.”

“Thanks.” You breathed, still thrown by everything that had happened today.

“Well I’ll let you go. And Y/N... I’ll have Mel add your number to the Better Halves chat...glad you guys figured it out.” Gabe was just a little too intuitive and you shook your head as you ended the call.

Cale was still asleep when you crawled back into bed beside him, your hands rubbing soothingly along his skin again. With your brain focused on what you could possibly do to make things better, you missed Cale starting to stir, his blue eyes droopy as he peered over at you.

“I’m sorry…” The sound of his voice made you jump and when you looked over at him, you saw the distraught expression remained on his face. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this…” As he spoke he shifted to sit up, his legs swinging over the edge of the bed. Moving alongside him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling his body back against yours.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Cale. You did nothing wrong. This is not on you. This is on the idiots who think they know what they’re talking about when they don’t even have the most basic of their facts straight.” Cale flinched just slightly, but you felt it, your heart picking up speed.

“I still caused you pain. I’m not supposed to do that.” Something told you that the next words to come out of your mouth were possibly the most important words spoken in your relationship...more important than ‘I love you’ had been.

“Cale Douglas Makar…” You declared, refusing to let him get up from the bed as you shuffled to stand in front of him. “You listen to me and you listen to me well. You are not the cause of my pain. I hurt because you hurt. The people that hurt you are the ones that hurt me...not you.” Forcing Cale’s cheeks up to look at you, you brushed your thumbs along his jaw.

“Never apologize for ‘dragging me into’ something. We are partners, we are equals. You cannot carry the emotional burden of this relationship alone. And lately you’ve been doing more work in that regard than you should. So DO NOT apologize. It’s my turn to carry the weight. Let me. Let me support you like you’ve supported me. Let me care for you like you care for me. Maybe I can’t physically carry you out of a lava tube...but I can lift you up emotionally, mentally...I can give you the strength to get through this. You are not alone. You have me. And I’m strong enough to handle this even though it upsets me. Use me. Please. Don’t push me away because you think you have to protect me and handle this on your own.”

Cale’s tears dripped along your fingertips and you leaned forward pulling his body into yours.

“We’re gonna get through this Cale...it’ll all blow over. And when it does it’ll just prove to the rest of the world what we already know. That you’re incredible. And we’re unshakable. So whatever you need. I’m here. All you have to do is say the word.”

“I love you.” Cale’s words were muffled by your clothing, but you heard him loud and clear.

“I love you too. Always will.” You assured him, nails scraping against his scalp again. Staying like that until his breathing steadied, you dipped down to kiss him gently but deeply.

“C’mon...let’s order a bunch of junk food, put some stupid comedy on tv and just relax.” You directed. “Though you should probably call mom first. She’s a little concerned and I know hearing your voice would make a big difference.”

When he nodded, you stepped back, though you didn’t make it far before Cale was wrapped around you again. If he needed to be a koala tonight, you were perfectly okay with that.

“Do you wanna use my phone so you don’t have to look at yours?” You asked softly. “I did jump into your team group chat to tell the boys to back off a little so you shouldn’t have as many notifications but you can use mine if you aren’t ready to deal with any of that.”

Cale didn’t seem at all fazed that you had used his phone but he willingly accepted yours, calling his mom. You’d placed an order for food on your laptop while they talked and upon the end of that conversation, you settled in on the couch for the night, only moving for food or drinks. As another episode of the sitcom Cale had picked ended, you looked down at him snoring softly, his head on your chest.

Today had been exhausting...this week had been exhausting, but you’d dealt with it together and now Cale knew that he didn’t have to bear the weight of the world by himself. You were bound to have bad days every now and then, but together you could get through so much more than either of you could separately.

#cale makar #cale makar imagine #colorado avalanche #colorado avalanche imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #cavalanche #038

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thatsdoctorlindsaytoyou · 3 years

Text

Hey y’all.

I am (fortunately? unfortunately?) still alive. I fell off the face of the earth anywhere from a year to 2 years ago, depending on whether you follow me from here, AO3, YouTube, or insta. Things had been going downhill for a while, but last year... well, I guess everyone kinda had a rough year last year, but if you wanna indulge me:

At the start of covid quarantine, I took a minimum wage job at a local pharmacy that was well below what I am worth. Three reasons for doing this: 1. I was missing pharmacy experience from my resume, 2. I wanted to help out my community during a vulnerable time, and 3. The doctor who owned the pharmacy promised me I could work closely with him and then he would write me a recommendation for this medical program in Ireland (basically my dream school and program).

So I worked at the pharmacy during covid and got screamed at by Karens all day every day, and in the meantime I applied to the program. I was immediately given an interview and then offered a place with scholarship money.

And then the doctor just never turned in the recommendation he had promised me, so they had to pull my acceptance and give my place to someone else.

I literally went through all five stages of grief. My dream, the ultimate culmination of my life’s work and studies, was right in my hands, and then it was yanked away from me.

Eventually I pulled myself out enough to apply for an MSc at the University of Dublin. I’m leaving next month. It’s really just a time-filler until I can reapply for the medical school, but it’s something, and my parents were going to help me pay for it.

And then my dad got arrested so now all their money is going towards legal fees, meaning I have a one-way ticket to Dublin and a $32,000 tuition bill in my lap.

So, that’s where I went this last year, and honestly it’s starting to get a lot better and I’m feeling a lot more hopeful. Sure, I have no idea how the hell I’m gonna afford any of this, but in comparison to everything else, that actually seems pretty... manageable.

I’m feeling inspired to create again. I honestly don’t know if that will manifest as more rants about horror movies on YouTube, more Pokemon-inspired makeup looks on my instagram, or more elaborate analyses of the music of Lorde on my Tumblr, but I am so excited to find out where my weird muse takes me.

I’m writing again for the first time in over a year. I don’t even know how active the Reddie fandom is anymore, and I figure a lot of fans have (understandably) given up on me, but I’m still so excited to get all these new ideas out and post them on AO3, and I can’t wait to share them with the people who are still around.

I’m going to Ireland. I might be broke and starving, but I am going to Ireland.

If you have read this far, bless you. If you are still with me and also excited to see me start making more weird and wacky shit, bless you.

I’m so glad I’m still here, and I’m so glad you’re still here with me.

AO3: OctopusQueen

Instagram: thatsdoctorlindsaytoyou

YouTube: Lindsay Trone

And just if you want to, and if you have the extra cash:

V enmo: Final-Girl-Barbie

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icedcappujaeno · 4 years

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kingdom come | three

Jaehyun remembers you, and he hopes that you remember him as well.

genre: mafia!au | fluff | angst | smut

pair: Jaehyun & reader

warnings: language, sexual content, drugs, blood and violence, guns

↤ previous | series masterlist | next ↦

It’s Monday. When Jaehyun gets exactly on the office floor, he storms into Taeyong’s office.

But he wasn’t there.

He hasn’t answered his calls since Friday. It was only his voice mail that answered. Jaehyun was beyond frustrated. He needs answers. His mind wasn’t at ease, causing his sleep schedule to fuck up even more. He was restless.

He goes out of the empty office and calls out to Taeil, whose cubicle is nearest to Taeyong’s office.

“Where the fuck is he?” Jaehyun asks with agitation.

“Ya,” Taeil spats. “Have you forgotten who’s older here, Jaehyun?”

“I’m not in the mood for that Taeil Hyung,” Jaehyun hisses back. Taeil was about to land a fist on Jaehyun’s face when Taeyong calls his name. He strides in between the two men to stop the banter.

“Taeyong Hyung,” Jaehyun practically grits through his teeth when he said his name. “I want to talk to you.”

Taeyong shrugs and checks his phone.

“That’s kinda obvious with the 48 missed calls and almost 50 messages over the weekend, no, Jaehyun?” He lightly pats the younger’s shoulder but Jaehyun pries away from the touch. “Let’s go to my office.”

---

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Jaehyun knows that Taeyong thinks he’s crazy. Or at least going to that path. He relays what happened last Friday night as vividly as he can. Taeyong listens to his story—or at least he tries too. The obvious perplexity in his expression paints all over his face as Jaehyun repeats the story.

“Jaehyun. She’s dead .”

Jaehyun’s face visibly hardens. His hands lay on his sides and curled them into a fist, tight enough to see the prominent veins on his knuckles.

“You mourned for her. You were there, watching over her funeral twenty-four-seven,” Taeyong continues, slapping Jaehyun with his words.

“I didn’t check her casket—“

“You held her fucking hand when she was in the morgue—!!”

A punch lands on Taeyong’s face, and with Jaehyun’s hard blow he stumbles onto the chair behind him, propping his hand onto the rest for support. Blood drips from Taeyong’s nose as Jaehyun’s knuckles gash a scar on his cheek. Jaehyun is about to hit Taeyong with another when Johnny comes in, holding the younger back.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Doyoung yells, running over Taeyong’s side along with Jungwoo and Taeil to support him as he stands up. Everyone in the office seemed to notice the commotion so they all went inside.

Johnny holds onto Jaehyun with great force as he keeps on struggling. Yuta’s on the side, ready to support Johnny to keep Jaehyun in his hold.

“Jung Jaehyun, you are fucking done for,” Taeyong grits through his teeth as he wipes the blood from his nose. Doyoung clutches onto Taeyong’s arm to prevent his future actions, but Taeyong exhales heavily and releases Doyoung’s grip from him. Doyoung is about to react when Taeyong puts his hands inside his pants’ pockets.

“Go home. Don’t go to work unless you’re in the right mind already.”

Everyone seems to be shocked by Taeyong’s decision, even Jaehyun.

“I don’t think—“ Taeil interjects, but Doyoung speaks up.

“It’s for the better, I think,” he says as he looks at Jaehyun. Johnny feels Jaehyun’s body relax a bit, thus loosens his hold onto him. His breathing still heaves heavily though, so his arms were not completely off the younger’s body.

“Jaehyun, I think it’s a good idea,” Doyoung quips, still looking at Jaehyun with pure sincerity. “I don’t know what you guys talked about, but seeing you all vexed on Taeyong—I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to work for the meantime.”

Doyoung is glad that Jaehyun listens despite his silence. He frees his body from Johnny’s hold. He’s still angry but Doyoung makes a lot of sense.

“I agree,” Taeil says, the one only having the balls to pat Jaehyun on his shoulder in a friendly gesture. “I don’t think you’re on missions this month anyway. You need to at least cooldown.”

Jaehyun seems to come back to his senses and nods. He looks at Taeyong one ferociously one last time before storming out of the office, gathering his things away.

When he gets out, everyone looks at Taeyong. The leader raises a brow as he wipes his nose again, clearing any blood stains from Jaehyun’s hit.

“He sure hits hard. That’s why he’s on the combat offense team,” Taeyong jokes, but no one laughs. Jungwoo offers him a hanky and he accepts it.

“What happened, anyway?” Taeil asks.

Taeyong remains silent. Everyone was expecting a reply but he only says:

“Get back to work.”

---

It has been two and a half weeks since Jaehyun got suspended.

Rose comes often, very much often. But Jaehyun still can’t grasp what happened days prior. He gets distracted from time to time, yet his thoughts come back to you. His co-workers still talk to him through messages, mostly asking how he’s keeping up and the changes they observed without Jaehyun in the office. He appreciates the gestures, but your face haunts him every time.

Jaehyun was a hundred percent sure it was you in the mart. Thus, he searches for you everywhere, even goes back to the same mart where he saw you. Touched you once again. But there were no traces that would lead up to you if you were alive and not a hallucination.

---

You meet him in his dreams. Or nightmares. In it, he sits on the couch of your previously shared apartment while watching Netflix. You call out his name as dinner is being served. He looks over, sees you smiling at him as you tell him that dinner’s ready.

He walks over to you, but when he touches your arm, you scream.

The same scream he heard that night.

Jaehyun wakes up, breaths were heavy from the nightmare. He clutches the skin on his chest as he tries to calm down.

When he does, he grabs his phone and looks at the time.

4:32 in the morning.

He sighs and runs his hand over his hair. Falling back asleep wasn’t an option as the very time he closes his eyes, you would come back. So instead he stands and heads to the bathroom for a quick wash and wears on his tracksuit, going out for an early morning jog.

---

6:30 in the morning.

Jaehyun sits on one of the benches of the park where he usually jogs laps. It was too early in the day that no one still loiters around, except for early joggers like him.

He fishes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls down his Instagram as he rests.

The orphanage where you first met was the first post he saw. Some familiar faces come into view, especially the children whom he helped before. Jaehyun smiles as his heart melt at the photo. He double-tapped on it and a thought suddenly came to mind.

He smiles to no one in particular with the sudden idea, but he feels light and happy—genuinely for the first time in weeks.

He turns the music on and texted Rose that he'll be busy for the weekend, before putting his phone back in his pockets, finishing his remaining laps before going home.

---

“I haven’t seen you in years!”

The old lady who grew fond of Jaehyun hugs him on sight, even though he’s carrying a box full of goods. Jaehyun chuckles, missing the affection and warmth of the place. It has been years since he last visited; he thought that the painful memories would come back as soon as he sees the orphanage’s driveway. He was wrong, as it felt refreshing: happy memories flood his mind as he remembers you and your legacy.

“I miss you too, Halmeoni.”

She lets him go and instructs him to put down the box on a table. He follows and unboxes the goods he brought: mostly shoes and clothes for the younglings. The older woman was ecstatic, with every piece Jaehyun brings out, she would say that it would fit this child or that kid’s name. The smile on Jaehyun’s lips never fades; it has been really, years since he felt this way.

Another car drives into the parking and Halmeoni excuses herself. Jaehyun politely nods and continues to unbox the clothes and shoes, each movement of his hands reminded him of you: how yours would bump into his, every fits of giggles every time he sneaks a tickle to your side.

A tug at his shirt breaks his reverie, and he looks down to the eyes of a young man tall as his hips. Jaehyun sits to meet his level.

“Did you bring us presents?”

“I did,” Jaehyun laughs.

“What did you bring?”

“I brought you shoes and some clothes,” he replies. The child smiles and tiptoes over the table to try and see the presents.

“I want new shoes,” the child says. Jaehyun stands and ruffles his hair.

“Okay, I’ll give you a pair. What’s your name?”

“Daejung,” he replies. Jaehyun gets a pair from his presents and shows it to him.

“Do you want this one?” Daejung nods. Jaehyun sits to match Daejung’s height once more and puts the pair of shoes in front of him. Daejung removes his slippers and Jaehyun assists him in wearing one. He places his hand on Jaehyun’s head to support himself.

“Your hair is soft, hyung,” to which Jaehyun laughs.

“Yours is as well.”

“I’m sorry I just got back!” Halmeoni pants as she approaches Jaehyun and Daejung. She sees that Daejung has already worn a present from Jaehyun and sighs.

“You could have waited for the others,” Halmeoni scolds. Jaehyun is quick to defend saying that it’s okay. Daejung stands behind Jaehyun, clutching the fabric of his shirt as he hides away from Halmeoni’s lectures.

“Anyway,” Halmeoni waves her hand dismissively to drop the issue regarding Daejung’s excitement. “Sorry about that, but an old-time friend came to visit. Like you, it’s been a long time since she volunteered. I’m gonna tend to you both, she’s just packing her presents and will come here shortly.”

“No problem, Halmeoni,” Jaehyun replies.

The old woman peers over the woman who was quite struggling with two big paper hands hung on both arms while carrying a big box. Jaehyun follows Halmeoni’s gaze.

“I’ll help her.”

Just as Jaehyun said it, the woman tumbles over due to the weight of her carry. He jogs over her slumped figure, carrying her paper bags as well as the box, making it look easy within his hold.

“Let me carry this for you.”

You stand and chuckle nervously, dusting off the dirt on your clothes. You put the stray strands of hair fallen messily onto your face away, behind your ears. When you look up with an embarrassed facade, you see unfamiliar eyes boring into yours.

Nevertheless, you paid no mind with the stare he’s giving you.

“Sorry. I thought I could carry them all in one go.”

It was seconds before he replied.

“[Y/N]?”

You blink.

“How...”

Jaehyun mirrors your confused expression.

“Do I know you?”

#jaehyun angst #jaehyun fic #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun smut #neowritingsnet #nct x reader #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun imagines #nct angst #nct smut #jung jaehyun angst

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kirstinmaldonado · 4 years

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Chapter Four 2.0

Is it just me or are the alarming numbers of posts about weight gain or weight loss in this time freaking everyone out? I know I’m not innocent; I’ve definitely joked about my personal quarantine-15 as well, blindingly attempting to hide my own insecurities with it through humor.

But if I see another “Carbie” or changed photo online insinuating weight gain, I might cry.

It’s hard enough trying to “make the most” of your time, even if you’re riddled with it. If you read my last post, you’d think by now I’d be the fit, Spanish-speaking, piano-playing, singer-songwriter that Week 1 Kwarantine Kirstie dreamed of. As we know, I’ve “fallen off.”

But have I? Is this really the age we’re in? Where in a global pandemic we still feel the urge to get a thousand things done in the mere 24 hours we get a day?

That societal pressures are so prominent that we all joke together about how much weight we’ll gain? And where posts scream at you with side by side pictures of extreme weight loss, expecting you to not only have your life together but lose weight with all this “extra time?”

I digress. I can’t do it all and keep my mental health in check.

People are either finding new or returning to hobbies to distract themselves from what is going on right now, and that’s great. If yours is that home workout, I applaud you!! Keep at it! It’s so good for your mental and physical health, I know I need to be more on top of it!

If it’s reading a little, spring cleaning, whatever it is that you are able to accomplish, I am proud of you! If you’ve been able to dig in and uncover a goal you’d not been able to achieve before, don’t let this or anything hold you back! I hope to get to that mindset and I feel I am on my way!

But in the meantime, I’ve been baking, and since there’s only two people in the house it’s, y’know, not ideal for the waistline.

But here’s my deal. I’m coping. When I went to the grocery store a few weeks ago and saw empty shelves, I cried and went to the baking aisle to get decorations and proper ingredients for the baking I was planning on doing. My hands have been stained with food color more often than not within just this last week, as I baked for friends’ birthdays in quarantine and for Easter.

And that’s okay! I am adapting.

You know why I stopped baking so much in the first place? I ran out of time. When I’d be home from tour I wanted to relax more than work all night in the kitchen. I wanted to spend quality time enjoying others’ company rather than cleaning pots and pans all night. But I’ve realized now more than ever that baking just brings me this sense of happiness, like I’m sure other things do for you guys.

There’s a rhythm to baking, how you mix it. You can’t rush the process, ‘cause the icing will melt if your treat hasn’t cooled. There’s a sense of calm patience I enjoy that is hard to replicate. And then the decorating taps in to my artistic side, and depending on how I’m feeling I’m either slathering that icing on freely or delicately decorating with pearl accents and made-from-chocolate flourish!

Baking brings me back to Nana’s and Grandma’s kitchens. My favorite thing was baking with them, rolling dough, watching them and learning! As I grew older, got my own place, that feeling of baking and care-taking made me happy. Baked goods always have a lot of love in them, I feel, and is this not a time to put a smile on peoples’ faces? Why not do what I love on Easter and bake a whole cake, a hobby that reminds me of my family that I miss so much and can’t be with?

I don’t want all this to sound like an explanation for my recent eating choices. You’re not my food journal. And even though I’ve dipped away from my goals and feel a little disappointment, I know I was cathartic baking and so accept the consequences of my actions. The point is to recognize and move forward.

I also don’t want this to be like every “how/why not to gain weight in quarantine” post, because I don’t know how to do that.

With all the stress on how this would progress, I don’t blame myself or anyone for freaking out when they saw empty shelves and grabbing the closest thing they could find that has a decent shelf-life (Kraft Mac n Cheese…). The real hurdle here, my point, is just making sure you’re being healthy to yourself.

If you want some red wine, go for it. If you want to treat yourself, okay! These things are all fine in doses as long as you don’t transform your habits from healthy to unhealthy.

I have binged before. I have purged before. I have had the most unhealthy views of my body before. I still battle with it. But within this last year I have gained so much knowledge about how my body operates. I have fed it cleaner food and seen how it’s transformed my mind, body, and spirit. I have worked SO hard and done two a days. It’s not always the easiest, but I spent quality time taking care of myself.

All that to say, my initial 2020 goals were to remain on track and healthy to myself. This is THE year, I thought.

Coronavirus put a…twist on my goals. I haven’t been fussing about the wine I’ve had, or the goodies I’ve made, as I focused more on my mental health. I am glad I let myself just be. It really helped. But it’s mid week five and we have five more weeks ahead of us at least. And as I started looking at myself in the mirror, or flipping through Instagram, I could feel my anxiety creep up again. So I made that dreaded trip to the scale and got out my measuring tape which I’d used before to track progress.

And you know what? I gained inches. I gained weight.

Did it make me…kinda sad? Yes. I felt disappointed as if all my hard work last year was for naught.

But…I gained weight in a global pandemic.

In the big picture of things, how fortunate am I to have the resources to feed myself. To gain weight.

All these ads, all the modified pictures which are ACTUALLY kinda fat-shaming, all this panic of gaining weight is so triggering while everyone is just trying to keep relatively afloat. It feels insensitive. I can’t flip through Instagram without seeing people capitalizing on the situation. “Lost 20lbs with this amazing home workout plan and tea” or diets to take care of the “stubborn fat you’ll have” when this ends. It’s toxic for those that battle with eating disorders or body dysmorphia. It’s toxic for those that are just able to get what they can. There’s enough stress already! We are staying inside and at home for a REASON. If you have the luxury to gain a few pounds while you’re safer at home, good for you. Don’t be so hard on yourself as you try to mitigate a PANDEMIC.

I am trying not to be. I am re-adjusting how I’m working out so it fits more in line with my aesthetic goals. We are almost done eating the carrot cake from Easter (yikes, I know, already, it was too good).

All I hope for myself, and for you all, is that you don’t fall in to unhealthy ways, mentally or physically. It’s a battle, especially in this time, I know! I’ll be the first to say I haven’t been my best. Gaining some pounds isn’t unhealthy itself, but can manifest into bad habits in this isolation like binging or an overall sedentary, unmotivated lifestyle.

If you’re moving, you’re getting a little sun, and you are staying safe and healthy, you’re gonna be okay. Don’t let little personal fluctuations alarm you and derail who you are and what you’ve worked for. The world is fluctuating with you, so you are constantly having to adapt!

I’m going to make a better effort to not coop myself inside, be aware if I’m overdoing the emotionally eating, and feed my body in all the right ways. Mind. Body. Spirit. Besides that, it’s just taking one day at a time.

I hope you all are safe and healthy. I hope you all are still believing and trying your best. <3

#blog 2.0

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nopperabounet · 4 years

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Fish Tank 95 Interview with Hoshino Hidehiko Reporter: Okubo Yuka Translation: Lola

What did you do for New Year's?

I relaxed so that now I can I work on recording the songs I wrote.

Really? So you didn't get sick or anything?

Not this year. So far I'm in good health *smiles*.

I'm glad to hear it. I'd like to take a look back at "THE DAY IN QUESTION 2019" .

As you know, the first day was at a new venue in Takasaki. I'd say it's been a long time since we played in such a beautiful venue like that one in Takasaki. It felt fresh since it's a music center.

I heard that creating the general framework for the set list was up to you this time, Hoshino-san, so how did you find working on it?

I decided the general idea, yes, but ultimately things get changed around as we rehearse and fiddle with it. I was thinking about what would create a good atmosphere for the show.

It felt a little different than your usual "THE DAY IN~" because it had such a powerful opening.

Probably because we opened with "Muma - The Nightmare" . . . . . .because both Yuuta and I said it would be good to start with it *smiles*, and I think due to that it creates that profound heaviness that flows through the rest. Which is good to do from time to time, I think.

I was also impressed by the two winter themed songs, "Snow white" and "SILENT NIGHT".

Of course that was the point of including these two songs in the performance. I mean they weren't the main part of the show this time but, I felt like it was incredibly important to have that sort of segment.

You played "SILENT NIGHT" with a new arrangement, so how did you end up getting Yokoyama-san to do it?

Up till now, "SILENT NIGHT" has felt somber and lonely to me so I planned on asking Yoko-chan to do something about that. . . . . .why? Did he say something yesterday about it?

So you're saying you're the one who wanted Yokoyama-san do to something with the sound, and that it was your suggestion all along, Hoshino-san?

Yes, exactly. Why? What did he say?

Imai-san said that he told Yokoyama-san, "I know Hide asked you to do something for him, but I don't really think this is what he meant."

Right, yes, ok. I knew he'd say that *smiles*. That's basically it *smiles*. But well, it's ok you know. We worked it out amicably in the end.

What feeling were you trying to go for Hoshino-san?

I just wanted something with more guitar *smiles*.

It was your first time performing "Datenshi" live, so how did you find the audience's reaction?

It went well, didn't it? As for their reaction . . . . .I'm not sure you know, I couldn't really see too well. Because I was trying to play it well *smiles*. Since it was the first time for me right, so I was worried about doing it properly.

You changed each set list up a little bit, and I understand that you did this while you were rehearsing?

Right. We change things up as we do them. Especially on the second day, we fiddle with the encores to get them to suit the mood of the day.

It was also your first time performing in Yoyogi Stadium so did that end up changing things for you because of nervousness?

Maybe. I mean Anii's always saying stuff like that after the show. "I screwed up!" *smiles* But for me that's just part of doing lives you know. We're also used to the feeling of Budoukan and its basin like shape, which lets us see people even if they're on the sides and it feels incredible you know, whereas in Yoyogi the seats stretch out far and flat so in the end, what you feel is the distance so I felt like it would have been more enjoyable to share a closer space together.

Any incidents happen during the tour?

Not this time, so I'd say it all felt good overall. I don't really remember any particular highs and lows, at least nothing more than usual I guess. Maybe it was because of the mood we created with the song choice . . . . . .that somehow nothing really bad happened. I guess I should make the set list next time too*smiles*.

Since it's best when there are no incidents *smiles*. At the end of the show you announced your upcoming activities, it was a nice way to close 2019.

I'm glad we were able to get people excited. Now I have to do my best to make good on that.

You began recording the album yesterday beginning with your music, Hoshino-san.

Right. But we're only on day two.

Regarding the album, I wonder have you spoken at all about the concept with Imai-san?

Well I mean, I guess he talked to me about how we'll have a theme this time again. Why? What did he say?

He posted on his instagram about how the new theme is seven characters, but he wouldn't say what it was.

Sounds like him.

While working on 'Datenshi', he mentioned that the key words were "deviating from the norm", so I was wondering if maybe he was doing something different yet again?

Well, I guess that's sort of it? But you know "deviating from the norm" is not seven characters. I dunno, I'm not sure what he meant. Since he hasn't told any of us either *smiles*. Ah well, guess we'll have to wait and see.

Were you consciously thinking about "deviating from the norm" as well with your pieces, Hoshino-san?

If anything I'd say one of the songs might seem like it's "deviating from the norm" but I didn't make it that way, it's CUBE-kun (CUBE JUICE) who is doing that because I had requested it of him. We're in the midst of making it more intriguing. I also have a nice medium melody too, so look forward to that.

OK *smiles*. Will CUBE-san help in arranging both of your songs, Hoshino-san?

I have CUBE-kun, and I already have YOW-ROW-kun helping me for another song.

How did that come about?

By chatting with Tanaka-san (their director). I had asked if he knew anyone who could draw something even more interesting from the songs I wrote.

Yesterday, Yuuta-san recorded his bass parts, so does that mean you're recording your guitar parts today?

Yes. I'll record my parts today, and then take a little break. Because we still haven't put in the lyrics yet, but I think it's shaping out to be quite good. I just can't tell for sure because I don't have the full picture yet. But I do have a hunch I know which direction it will go in.

Imai-san plays the guitar in your songs as well, doesn't he?

Yeah, I mean that's the plan but . . . . . .but I bet he said something like, "It might be better if I don't play in his songs" right? *smiles*

He didn't say that, but he did say something like, "I bet Hide's just gonna play all the guitar parts anyway".

Why would he say that? *smiles* I mean, I did think that but still. Well whatever, it will be fine because our recording schedule has all been decided on *smiles*.

Has this sort of thing happened before?

It has, yes. Things are fine right now when it comes to recording, but in the past there would be times when he'd tell me he was too busy composing to come into the studio so I'd just be like, "Well, guess I'll do it all then." I think that was during our Ariola years.

Do you enjoy working on the creative process of the music?

It feels like the complete opposite of doing lives. But yes, I do enjoy it, and find it fun.

Since you've only really just begun recording, I'm guessing you don't really have any stories to tell about it yet. However, I did happen to hear something about liver and Chinese chives.

That was quick, I ate that yesterday *smiles*. We don't do take out here too often you know. But yesterday we thought let's order curry, so I decided to get everyone's orders, and like an hour later I go to make the call and get told, "it's too much, we can't handle such a big order." I hadn't thought it was that big of an order *smiles*. By then I'm absolutely starving~ and end up changing our order to Chinese food. So that's what happened *smiles*.

Thank you for sharing such a precious story *smiles*. Beginning in May you will have fanclub only lives. I'm guessing you'll be doing new content by then, like playing "Luna Park"?

Ah, yeah, I guess we will be. But you know right now a lot of events had to be suspended so I'm not sure how things will be by then. I'm worried it might have to be postponed as well[1].

I know. I'm praying the situation will be safe enough to do it so would you please give a message to everyone who is looking forward to it?

I pray that we will be able to have our fanclub and mobile member tour in safety, and in the meantime I will be spending my days recording. Please look forward to it.

[1] The fanclub only lives were indeed postponed, however they have tentatively been rescheduled for the period of February - April 2021. Please consult the official BUCK-TICK site for further information.

#hoshino hidehiko #buck tick #buck-tick

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birdkoskincare · 4 years

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Why are you action banned from IG???

basically, because instagram is really unwelcoming to small creators starting out 🙃

the way ig works, you need to tag your posts just so and to produce quality content to drive engagement, but to get an audience in the first place and grow as a page, you need to interact with other accounts (genuinely, of course, liking and commenting on pages you enjoy to become a part of the community). otherwise, it’s kinda hard to get anywhere.

however, ig is also very wary of bots these days, for good reason, so they have a trustworthiness algorithm kinda thing going on where if you take a lot of actions (likes, comments, replies to comments on your posts, likes on comments, follows and even unfollows), they get sus and think you’re a bot, and put you on a temporary action ban to cool off your engines. the younger your acc is, the more likely you are to be mistaken for a bot, for logical reasons.

my acc is less than a month old, and on sunday i was bored and spent the afternoon interacting and engaging on my posts and the posts on my feed. i’d gotten action banned before, but only from commenting and liking and only for a couple of hourse. for some reason, ig decided to block me from including captions on my posts, too, this time, and i’m still action blocked since sunday evening (it’s now tuesday morning). i’ve heard of people i follow who got action banned for five days or more, and it really puts a damper on traffic to your page when you have a daily posting schedule. for new content creators, that translates into a significative follower loss.

so yknow, i just gotta be patient and wait it out, but i admit it’s frustrating that ig doesn’t have any qualms with sacrificing small content creators, and it’s especially annoying to not know when the ban’s gonna be lifted. it feels super arbitrary.

in the meantime, if you wanna check out my account, catch up on older posts etc, my username is birdkoskincare there as well 🕊

#answered #my personal ig was created like... six years ago so i never experienced that issue there #i'm super trustworthy there lol #but i didn't wanna take over my personal with work-related content #Anonymous

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tsuki-chibi · 4 years

Text

Passionfruit (November) Day 18: Belt

See the whole fic on AO3: Passionfruit

————

‘So you’re telling me Plagg hasn’t said anything to you?’ Marinette thought. She snuck a quick glance over at Tikki and tried to imagine Tikki staying quiet if she had been the one to witness Adrien and Chloé. She couldn’t.

‘Nope. I’ve been waiting for him to bring it up, but it’s been four days and he hasn’t said a word,’ Adrien thought back. ‘I mean... he was eating cheese at the time. Sometimes I think the house could burn down and Plagg wouldn’t notice if he was eating cheese.’

Marinette giggled, then hastily bit her lip. Luckily, she’d had the forethought to prop her phone on her knees and open up tumblr before she and Adrien started chatting mentally. Tikki didn’t even bother to look up from where she was dozing in a pile of scrap fabrics. Still, Marinette ducked her shoulders and straightened out her expression.

‘I guess we got lucky. We’ll have to be more careful in the future,’ she thought. ‘At least until we figure out what we’re gonna do.’

‘I know. I’m -’

‘Don’t,’ Marinette thought, exasperated. ‘I warned you if you apologized one more time I’d steal your belt tail and hide it, and I meant it.’

Adrien chuckled. ‘I remember, but you wouldn’t leave this poor tomcat without a tail, would you?’

‘Keep pushing me and see,’ Marinette thought teasingly as her phone buzzed. She glanced at the screen and saw that it was Alya.

‘Uh oh,’ Adrien thought.

‘What? What’s wrong?’ Marinette thought, confused. She made the mistake of hitting the call button before she could figure out what was on Adrien’s mind. Unintelligible shrieking blasted out of the phone’s speakers. Marinette recoiled so fast she hit her head against the wall; Tikki jumped about a foot off the desk with an alarmed squeak.

“What the - Alya, is that you? What’s wrong?” Marinette cried over the shrieking, wincing.

The shrieking stopped. There was a beat of silence before Alya hissed, “What’s wrong? WHAT’S WRONG? Have you looked at Chloé’s Instagram lately?!”

“Uhhh....” Marinette said, watching as a very annoyed Tikki picked herself up off the desk and flew over to Marinette.

‘Chloé posted the pictures we took,’ Adrien thought. ‘I just got the notification about thirty seconds ago.’

Ah. Marinette sighed and brought up Chloé’s Instagram to see for herself. A small smile tugged at her lips as she saw the photos again. At Adrien’s request, Chloé had sent them all to Adrien and Adrien had sent them all to Marinette. But Marinette couldn’t really look at them when Tikki or anyone else was around, so this was her first chance to really see them.

They looked good if she did say so herself. Chloé had only posted seven of the pictures. Two were of Chloé and Chat, two of Ladybug and Chloé, two of the three of them together, and one -

“Oh my god!” Marinette screamed.

‘Oh shit,’ Adrien thought.

“I can’t believe that bitch got a picture of Ladybug and Chat Noir kissing before I did!” Alya bellowed into the phone.

Speechless, Marinette stared at the screen in absolute horror. Obviously, Chloé had followed Ladybug out onto the balcony and witnessed the quick kiss between her and Chat. Mercifully, the picture wasn’t of their actual kiss. But Ladybug was pretty damn close to Chat Noir in the picture, and their expressions made it blatantly obvious what they’d been up to.

“I - they aren’t actually kissing,” Marinette said weakly, not daring to look over at Tikki.

“It’s close enough! They even took selfies with her, Marinette! Selfies!” Alya was furious. “Why would they take selfies with her when they could take them with me? Why would they give her such a huge scoop?!”

‘Figure out a way to call Chloé right now and ask her what the hell she was thinking,’ Marinette thought to Adrien.

‘On it,’ he thought back. ‘I’ll tell Plagg I’m taking a shower. He hates water.’

“Alya, I’m sure Ladybug and Chat Noir had their reasons,” Marinette said as calmly as she could. “Maybe Chloé helped them out with an akuma or something like that.”

“You think Chloé helped them?” Alya said in tones of great disbelief.

“It could happen,” Marinette said. She looked at the pictures again and realized that she probably should’ve seen something like this coming.

Chloé had promised to keep quiet about the fact that Adrien and Marinette were soulmates, and about their identities, but they hadn’t thought to ask her to not say anything about.... well, about anything else. Marinette put a hand to her forehead, feeling a headache forming. In all fairness, Chloé probably hadn’t thought it was a big deal because no one else knew who they were. What difference did it make if Paris found out that Ladybug and Chat Noir might be dating?

But one person, or rather, one kwami definitely did know. Said kwami also knew that Marinette and Adrien were dating right now. Said kwami was currently burning a hole in the side of Marinette’s face. She pretended not to notice, locking her phone and lifting it to her ear.

“I don’t believe it,” Alya declared. “I bet she blackmailed them.”

“Alya,” Marinette said. “I really don’t think that’s the case.”

“It’s the only explanation that makes sense! You just wait until the next akuma battle. I am going to get an even bigger scoop than Chloé,” Alya vowed. “I won’t let the Ladyblog fall behind her!”

Marinette felt a chill of foreboding run down her spine. “What do you mean? Please don’t do anything stupid! Alya? Alya!” She pulled her phone away from her ear and groaned when she saw that Alya had hung up.

“So,” Tikki said. “Chat Noir and Ladybug, huh?”

“Ugh, Tikki! Please,” Marinette moaned, falling backwards on the bed and covering her face. Her mind raced, searching for a suitable explanation. Adrien wasn’t any help. He was as frantic as she was.

“Marinette, what’s going on?” Tikki said severely.

There was only one thing she could say. “I can’t figure out if I’m in love with Adrien or Chat Noir,” she blurted out. “But I didn’t kiss Chat, I swear. I wouldn’t do that to Adrien.”

Tikki was quiet for several seconds, to the point where Marinette got nervous and rolled onto her side to see what Tikki was doing. She realized that Tikki was staring at her with an intense, scrutinizing expression. Marinette did her best not to crack under the pressure, meeting Tikki’s stare even though she couldn’t figure out what Tikki was thinking.

Technically, it wasn’t completely a lie. She had kissed Chat, but it was with Adrien’s full knowledge and approval.

Finally, Tikki sighed. “Oh, Marinette. You are tangling yourself in a very complicated web,” she said at last.

“I know,” Marinette said guiltily. Adrien, quiet in the back of her mind, winced.

“I won’t pretend that I understand where you’re coming from,” Tikki said, crossing her paws over her chest. “But you should know that it would be dangerous if Hawkmoth knew you were dating Chat Noir. He would try to use you two against each other. You are safer with Adrien.”

“You make a good point,” Marinette said quickly, nodding.

‘You hear that?’ she thought to Adrien. ‘No more kissing in the suit, I guess. At least, not where sneaky blondes can see us.’

‘I heard,’ Adrien thought. ‘Chloé didn’t pick up, but she texted me to say she didn’t see what the big deal was.’

‘Yeah, I figured that’s where she was coming from,’ Marinette thought. She avoided Tikki’s gaze and rolled back over, unlocking her phone again. She scrolled slowly through the pictures.

‘It really is a good picture,’ Adrien thought.

Marinette smiled slightly. He wasn’t wrong. In the photo, Ladybug had her hands on Chat’s shoulders and was partially up on the tips of her toes. Chat’s eyes were wide in surprise, while Ladybug had a small smile on her face. The way they were looking at each other made Marinette feel all tingly. No wonder Alya had jumped to the (correct) conclusion that they had just kissed.

‘Looks like Ladybug was really rocking Chat’s world,’ she thought back.

Adrien flushed. ‘Well, to me it looks like Ladybug jumped Chat when he wasn’t expecting it.’

‘I didn’t jump you,’ Marinette objected. ‘I was just... frustrated. People kept interrupting us! First Nathalie, then Chloé... you can’t be mad at a girl for that.’

‘Mad? It was the very opposite, My Lady. You can jump me anytime,’ Adrien thought. He was laughing.

‘I’ll keep that in mind,’ Marinette thought, biting her lip to hold back her smile. She set her phone down and sighed, carefully directing her attention away when she sensed Adrien getting into the shower for real. It was times like this that soulmate connections could get awkward.

“Marinette?” Tikki said.

Marinette rolled onto her back. “Yeah?”

Tikki flew over and settled onto Marinette’s chest. “You’re a really good Ladybug. I hope you know that. I know that it’s not always easy for you, and that having to hide your secret identity is difficult. If you really love Chat, and you want to be with him, then maybe that can happen someday. I’m just trying to keep you safe in the meantime.”

Marinette softened. “I know you are, Tikki. Thank you.” She craned her neck until she could kiss the top of Tikki’s head. “It’s just a crush, that’s all. I’ll try to be more careful, and I’ll work harder on keeping things professional between me and Chat.”

“I really think that would be best,” Tikki said. “Especially since you have Adrien. He’s such a nice boy.”

“Yeah, he is,” Marinette said quietly, her guilt deepening. She hated keeping secrets from Tikki, and she knew Adrien hated keeping secrets from Plagg just as much. If they could just get a straight answer about what would happen if they knew who the other was!

But no matter how often they asked, neither Plagg nor Tikki would tell them what they wanted to hear. Marinette forced a smile and grabbed her phone again, closing out of Instagram in favor of opening up Netflix. She put on a mindless show to distract both Tikki and herself, but it didn’t work very well.

“Hey, look,” Tikki said, pulling Marinette’s wandering attention back to the screen. “You got a notification about a new panther exhibit at the zoo. You and Adrien should go!”

“The zoo?” Marinette said, tapping on the notification. She scanned the page. “Like as a date?”

Tikki nodded. “You two don’t get much time together, and his father can’t argue because the zoo is such an educatonal place. But it’ll be a great chance for you two to spend some time alone!”

A brilliant thought struck Marinette and she grinned. “Actually, Tikki, I don’t think Adrien and I need time alone. I think we need a double date.”

#passionfruit #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #marinette dupain-cheng #tikki #ladynoir #is that animan I hear approaching #it just might be!#passionfruit november

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beedaleebjd · 4 years

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Hmmm. Feels like I disappeared from blogging for a hot minute... been navigating a very annoying headspace lately and playing a whole lot of ACNH. But on the bright side, I have quite a backlog of unedited photos, uncatalogued projects, and un-captioned posts all in the works. Gonna try to roll up my sleeves and get a queue together, because if it gets bottle-necked over here then I totally don’t post anything on Instagram, ugh. 😅

So current goings-on... My partner placed an order for their first bjd body for their birthday! A Model Delf boy body (the really buff one...😍) That we’re gonna hybrid with a Souldoll Joelle.D head, whenever I can acquire one. (It’ll either be 2nd hand or I will try to when I order the Juno body down the line... Hopefully they’ll let me put a boy head on a girl body....)

At the same time, @dolliesanddelights got a Tiny they’ve been long wishing for, and I bit the bullet and ordered a Tan Tiny20 Elf Myltyl. 😖💦 I’ve had her on my wishlist for a few years (Before I found my Tinies, even) but I was feeling nervous because I still don’t have a perfectly clear idea for who she’s supposed to be... But this worked out alright with Cecilia, so I’m going to take it slow and let her tell me.

What else... @dolliesanddelights let me go on a Alice’s Collections clothing spree for my birthday last month! 💕💕 99% of it ended up being for Void-Hime because she was severely lacking some staple pieces and BOY she is hot stuff now. I need to take a proper photoshoot and fashion-show of all the things I got.... 😍

I’ve been doing a decent amount of sewing and crafting, I’m working on a V1 yarn wig for several characters (Cece, Mana, Nova, Chase) but I think I need to focus on them one at a time- I forgot how absolutely grueling making yarn wigs is. Uuuugh lmao.... It’s so much more enjoyable on DZ Ivy and Obitsu sized heads. /o/ But I’ll keep at it.

The CandyKitten eyes I was agonizing about arrived a bit ago, and they indeed did not fit. I’ve recovered (I GUESS) from my glaring oversight and I will order another pair- because aside from that issue, they are SO PRETTY and high quality and match her color scheme perfectly.

I have to wait until her etsy reopens though because of quarantine, aaaaaa. It’s alright, I need to save some money anyway. She’ll wear the oversized pair in the meantime. T//v//T

Some smaller updates, I have drafts in the works for some other little packages/doll things I’ve acquired over the months, doll faceups I’ve been working on and/or finished, other mishaps/adventures, some sorting/cleaning of my craft stuff that I love to document... and the like. Been interested in learning embroidery to add some stitched flourishes to my dresses, so when I get the nerve I’ll post that journey too.

Also also also, I’m officially putting Doll in Mind Aria on my wishlist. (Right after I more or less emptied it out, ahahaha...) 💦 Of course it’s after that massive DiM group order passed, because I am a wreck and talked myself out of it until it was too late and now I regret it. 😤 I’ve also been following some one-man-band bjd artisans on instagram and that was a very bad idea because now I am a little tempted to wishlist a few, oof....

I guess that’s enough of an update. I should spend time actually queuing all this stuff now and not just talk about doing it!

#craft journal #new tag! for the rambling!!#textposts

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blackgirlslit · 5 years

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Helloooo! I’ve been following blackgirlslits for awhile now and I was wondering if you guys could help me with something. As a Black Woman, I’ve often found myself struggling to really embrace and fall in love with my blackness. I have dark skin and internalized a lot of the bullying that came with it. What are some good books that came help me combat this? Any and all suggestions are welcome! Thank you guys!

Hey Anon! Thanks for the question! And sorry for the VERY late response. I wanted to do a bit more research into this and get suggestions from others before replying so I hope you see this! (Please let me know if you do!)

I actually know exactly how you feel! I too have struggled myself to love and accept my blackness and my dark skin and it is especially difficult when the media seems to be showing propaganda to the world that would suggest otherwise.

VERONIKA’S SUGGESTIONS:

(The books that came to mind for me in response to this)

✨The Skin I’m In by Sharon G. Flake (My grandmother gave me a copy of this to read when I was growing up and I remember loving it so much! It’s more of a middle-grade/YA read but I think the message to love the skin you are in can be read at any age. I think if I had to pick one, this would be one of my favorite books, and I am definitely in need of a reread of this soon! The 20th anniversary edition of this was just published not too long ago too!)

✨ For colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf by Ntozake Shange (I’ve only seen the film adaptation for this play but I believe this is an excellent story of the strength and resiliency of the black woman, those of any shade, age, or circumstance.)

✨The Darkest Child by Delores Phillips (This one is a bit on the sadder side; haven’t read it but I think this may be a cautionary tale to say the least.)

✨The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison (I don’t think this list would be complete without this book or any Toni Morrison book period).

✨Genesis Begins Again by Alicia D. Williams (This is a relatively new middle-grade release but I have heard nothing but good things about it and the synopsis for this alone sounds exactly like the book you are looking for!)

VICTORIA’S SUGGESTIONS:

(Victoria thought these would make great reads)

✨ The Color Purple by Alice Walker (A classic! The main character struggles and suffers a lot but still finds her way to a happy ending.)

✨Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (This was a popular suggestion!)

✨Krik? Krak! by Edwidge Danticat (A collection of short stories.)

OTHER SUGGESTIONS:

(I posed this question to our Instagram followers and these are the responses to your question that I received; I hope you don’t mind that I shared your question with them)

✨Well-Read Black Girl: Finding Our Stories, Discovering Ourselves edited by Glory Edim (This is actually another suggestion of mine. I’m currently reading this and I highly recommend it! It tells of the experiences of several already acclaimed and some up-and-coming black women writer’s experiences as they first encountered themselves in literature. This book will also give you even more suggestions for books by black authors to read!)

✨The Black Woman: An Anthology edited by Toni Cade Bambara (Another suggestion by me. I first heard about this book when Victoria posted a photo of her hauling it a while back. I think this will lead to some revelations about life, society, and living as a darker skinned black woman as well.)

✨Naked: Black Women Bare All About Their Skin, Hair, Hips, Lips, and Other Parts edited by Ayana Byrd (This is a collection of essays with contributions by some famous African-American woman exploring their relation to their bodies.)

✨ 32 Candles by Ernessa T. Carter (This is high up on my tbr list! I heard this is a cute “chick-lit” type tale and that it reminds people of 13 Going on 30! The person who suggested this said this is such a great book that is perfect for addressing the issues posed in your question.)

✨ The Blacker The Berry by Wallace Thurman (I think this is the only book on this list by a black man but the person who suggested this said this stays true to emotions of internalized self-doubt, self-hatred, and that it delves deep by exploring the prejudice behind skin color in the Black community as a whole.)

✨I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (Again this list would not be complete without the late and great Angelou. She has written a ton of amazing memoirs.)

✨Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes (Not a huge fan of her tv shows lol but maybe her book is good.)

✨God Help the Child by Toni Morrison (Another book written by the queen of black literature.)

✨What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey (Not gonna lie, didn’t know that she wrote a book lol (a few books in fact)…adding this to my tbr now!)

✨In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want by Iyanla Vanzant (If this book is a intense, deep, and emotional as her tv show is then this book has to be good lol!)

I would also recommend Becoming by Michelle Obama (who wouldn’t recommend the memoir published by our forever first black first lady?) and Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adayemi and Binti by Nnedi Okorafor (both are the first book in a sci-fi/fantasy series that features a bad-ass dark skinned black girl who comes into her own in bravery and prevailing despite her differences from others; they also are the unexpected faces/leaders of a rebellion).

Again my sincerest apologies for the delay in my responding to your question but I hope this helped 💖!

- Veronika

🌻

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compassionatereminders · 4 years

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Hi hi uh tw i think im abt to have a breakdown i know u r not a therapist just want to make it clear i dont expect u to be I just need a little vent, maybe some advice if you have any but this whole illness thing sets me on edge and i thought i was fine bc Im going home to be w my family today but my best friend has been not talking to me for a couple days now and i messaged him to be like "hey we're in the middle of a pandemic if you could let me know if ur safe that'd be great" but he - 🌟

“He is just completely ignoring me like not even reading my messages but I can see he's been liking posts (on instagram) but its not telling me when he's been active?? Did he block me?? Is this a punishment?? I dont know what I did wrong, I dont know how to fix it, maybe he just had enough. Sometimes someone else controls him, i think, like is physically in his head so maybe its not even him. Im scared he's gonna leave again, I'm scared maybe none of this is real??? Im sorry i dont mean to

dump this all on you. I should probably call like a crisis line if its getting like Psychosis bad again but its actually like 9am i dont know if you can call crisis lines at 9am, I dont know if this is bad enough maybe they'll tell me im being dramatic "its been 2 days he's probably just busy right now" yeah okay I know but he knows I have abandonment issues & 2 days feels like forever and i start spiralling. I'm sorry. I just needed to vent so I can get out of bed. I hope you're well”

Hello there. First of all, I definitely don’t blame you for being upset that your friend hasn’t been answering your messages for days. This is still a relatively new and for most people quite scary situation, so wanting to check up on your loved ones to make sure they’re safe and healthy is perfectly understandable.

That being said, the fact that this IS a new and scary situation also means that many people won’t be able to act exactly like they usually do, and while some people cope by reaching out, others might be so overwhelmed by this whole situation that they’re shutting down completely and/or severely cutting down on their time spend on social media.

So while I think it’s shitty of your friend not to answer at all in a situation like this, especially if he knows it’s likely to affect you this badly not to hear from him, I also encourage you to try not to take this too personally, cause it very likely isn’t about you. He’s probably not trying to abandon or punish you in any way, he’s likely just overwhelmed and coping in a different way than you.

So try to focus on yourself and your own situation and do your best to keep yourself somewhat distracted. It’s okay to be worried about him and upset that he isn’t answering, but try to stay focused on your own situation and what you can do to take care of yourself and make sure that YOU get through this without falling apart.

Hopefully this friend of yours will get back to you soon, but in the meantime, do what you can to prevent yourself from spiraling completely - cause odds are that your friend is simply overwhelmed and that this isn’t actually about ignoring, punishing or abandoning you for good. Lots of love!

#corona virus tw #anon #chat with kat

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golbrocklovely · 5 years

Text

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter ten: you suck so passionately

A/N: hey everyone. i’m slowly trying to churn these out since i’m only two or so chapters ahead. so, i might not update for another couple days. that being said, i will be posting the first chapter of ‘twisted’ soon, so get ready for that. i’m also gonna be posting a playlist of all the chapter titles from this story. feel free to request anything in the meantime. hope you enjoy! :)

description of the story

taglist: @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose

trigger warning: fluff, cursing

word count: 1758

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could feel the bed shift around me. I still had my eyes closed, not wanting to get up yet. I peaked open one eye. I could see the silhouette of a man, pulling jeans on. His back was to me.

Colby...

He grabbed the shirt off the chair in the corner and threw it on. I stretched slowly, pulling the covers off me. Colby turned to me.

"Did I wake you up?" He quietly asked.

I shook my head. "Not really. What time is it?"

"It's a little after eleven." He replied, grabbing his phone.

"And you're awake? Congratulations." I mumbled, smirking.

He chuckled. "Funny."

I pulled myself out of my bed. "Are you leaving right now?"

"Yeah. My uber's gonna be here in a minute or so." He nodded, slowly walking out of my room. I followed behind him.

We walked into the living room. Brennen, lounged on the couch, looked up and saw us.

"Hey cutie." Brennen commented.

"Are you saying that to me or Colby?" I sassed, resting my hands on my hips.

"...Both." He replied.

I shook my head, rolling my eyes. I heard Colby's phone vibrate. He glanced down at it. "My ride's here."

"Okay. It was nice seeing you again." I mentioned, opening my arms and giving him a hug.

He squeezed me tight, swaying us. "I'll text you later." He whispered.

"Alright." I pulled away, smiling.

He waved at Brennen and opened the front door, leaving quickly.

"Is Casey here?" I asked, turning to Brennen.

He shook his head. "No, she left early this morning."

"She's probably at the gym. She likes to go super early if she has a lot on her mind." I stated, shrugging slightly.

"Can I be straight with you?" Brennen inquired.

"Sure?"

"Do you realize how much Colby likes you or are you playing hard to get?"

I cocked my head to the side. "What?"

"I'm serious." He deadpanned.

"Colby doesn't like me." I doubted, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, he does. I know him very well and even though he falls in love with every girl he meets, you seem a bit different." He pointed out, mimicking my stance.

"I highly doubt he likes me. We're just friends." I scoffed.

"For right now. Do you like him?" He teased, smirking.

I exhaled. "C'mon Brennen..."

"I just want to know. I won't tell him." He chuckled.

"I mean... I guess so." I answered.

Brennen queried. "Are you attracted to him?"

"Are you attracted to Casey?" I taunted.

His face twisted. "This isn't about me."

"Answer my question and I'll answer yours." I dared, uncrossing my arms.

After a moment, he responded. "Yes."

"Okay." I slowly started walking to the kitchen.

"Well is that an 'okay' to my answer or to my question?" He questioned, following me into the kitchen.

"Both?" I grinned.

I grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge as he entered.

"Do you know if she likes me?" He mumbled, looking down towards the floor.

"Casey? I mean... I know she finds you hot." I admitted.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, everyone does. But how do I get her to like me more?"

"First and foremost, maybe stop flirting with me." I explained, shrugging.

"But I find it so fun." He teased, sitting on the counter.

"She doesn't. And Colby probably doesn't either if he apparently likes me." I insisted, taking a sip from my bottle.

He nodded his head. "Valid point. But if all else fails, you're still my future baby mama."

"No, I'm not." I groaned.

He moved on. "Oh by the way, the Trap House is throwing a party tomorrow."

I scrunched up my face. "You guys literally went to a party last night."

"That is true, however, it did end with us almost fighting a clout chaser." He recalled.

"I guess so." I agreed.

"Plus, a lot of the parties we've been to recently have kinda sucked. But the Trap House... they know how to throw a party." He smiled brightly.

The front door busted open, banging against the wall. "Brennen I'm gonna fucking kill you!" Casey's voice yelled out. She came rushing into the kitchen.

"Woah, woah, woah! What did I do?!" He sputtered, jumping off the counter.

"You know exactly what you did! Delete the tweets right now!" She shoved her finger at him, getting in his face.

"What tweets?" I asked.

She grunted. "You haven't seen them, have you?"

"No? What's going on?" I puzzled.

"Last night at the party, Brennen asked for my number and in my slightly tipsy state, I mistakenly gave it to him. He also asked for our instagrams so I gave them to him. And since your and mine's ats are the same on insta and twitter, he followed us on both." She explained, glaring at Brennen.

"Okay? And what's the problem?" I replied.

Brennen sighed, and slowly pulled his phone out. "Well I might have tweeted about Travis and what he said to you..."

He slowly showed me his phone. It was on his twitter, showing three tweets in a row from him at around one AM last night.

BrennenTaylor: TRAVIS MARCUS IS A BITCH

BrennenTaylor: what fuckin loserr has to make fun of girls and film it to feel good about themselves??? @travismarcus

BrennenTaylor: @skyebennett is fucking GORGEOUS and @travismarcus is an asshole for calling her fat. what are u 12?

It took a moment for the words to click in my head. "Brennen..." I sighed, covering my eyes.

"Look I'm sorry! I was drunk and pissed off. I wrote them when I was in the uber on the way over here. I forgot I even wrote them to be honest." He apologized, pulling his phone away from me.

"What are people saying... about me?" I questioned.

"Everyone's being really nice honestly. But Brennen shouldn't of at-ed you in the first place." Casey sneered, slapping Brennen's arm lightly.

"Has Travis said anything?" I mumbled.

"No. But he did DM me asking me to take the tweets down 'cause he heard this is gonna go on Messy Monday soon." Brennen pointed out.

"That's gonna make the situation so much worse." I grumbled, resting my back against the counter.

"I know you probably don't want attention, but people need to know he's a dick." Brennen sighed again, continuing. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I'll take them down if you want me to."

I shook my head. "No it's fine."

We all stood around awkwardly for a moment. I could tell Brennen was uncomfortable and Casey was still pretty pissed. "I'll be right back." I uttered, leaving the kitchen quickly.

I could hear Casey and Brennen bicker as I went to my room to get my phone. I hadn't even thought to look at it this morning. I grabbed it and turned it on. Multiple notifications popped up. I went to Youtube first.

I had gained about 500 new subscribers.

Oh... I guess that's nice.

I then went to Instagram. I had many request messages. And from scrolling through some, I could tell most people felt bad for me. Some, who were fans of Travis, were not so empathetic. Finally going to twitter, I saw extreme amounts of positive messages. There was a hashtag started - #travismarcusisoverparty. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

This doesn't even feel real at this point.

I scrolled through my dms to see I had a message from Travis himself.

Travis: please tell Brennen to take down the tweets. Things are getting out of hand. I apologize for what I said.

I rolled my eyes but replied to the message anyway.

Skye: I can't force him to take it down. That's up to him. Thank you for apologizing, but you shouldn't have said what you said in the first place. You're too old to be making fun of people like that.

"Hey Skye?" I heard Brennen voice call to me.

I looked up to see him standing in my doorway. "Yeah?"

"I'm gonna be heading out. I gotta go feed Kobe and go workout. Also if I don't leave soon, Casey's gonna murder me." He stated.

I chuckled. "Okay. Give me a hug goodbye."

He smiled sadly, walking over to me and embracing me. He pulled away, keeping me in his arms. "I'm really sorry I brought you into this dumb drama."

"It's okay. I don't mind what you said. And I mean besides, Travis was gonna get his comeuppance at some point. It just happened to deal with me too." I shrugged.

He cocked his head to the side, smirking. "Comeuppance?"

"What?" I asked.

"Do they use words like that in college? I wouldn't know obviously..." He trailed off, slowly backing away from me.

I groaned. "Oh my God, get out of my house."

"Alright, I'm going, I'm going." He mimicked back, waving. "I'll text you later!"

"See ya!" I yelled back, grabbing my phone.

Just as I heard the front door close, I felt my phone vibrate. I looked down, seeing a new message from Colby.

Colby: forgot to tell u but i'm throwing a party tomorrow. do u wanna come???

I smiled, opening the message and responding.

Skye: Brennen already told me about it. And yeah I'm down 😊

I walked over to my dresser and grabbed some clothes for the day. I heard my phone vibrate again.

Colby: i know this is sudden, but would u want to film a video w me?

Wait what?

Skye: uh yeah. what did you have in mind?

I sat on my bed, waiting for him to reply. I could see he was typing out his message.

Colby: i was thinking like a q&a with a fan or something else if u have a better idea

I couldn't believe this was happening. He actually wanted to film a video with me...

Maybe Brennen wasn't lying about him like me after all.

Skye: no I like that idea! when did you want to film it?

I started to get dress, needing to do something to pass the time in between Colby texting me.

*buzz buzz*

Colby: before the party tomorrow, if that's good for you.

I bit my lip staring down at my phone. I almost couldn't contain my excitement.

Skye: sounds great! lmk when you want me to come over tomorrow then

I placed my phone down, and then slowly laid down on my bed. I glanced up at the ceiling.

Why do I think this party tomorrow is gonna change my life?

<< CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 11 >>

#colby brock #brennen taylor #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock fluff #colby brock story #colby brock x oc #colby brock fic #only the lonely survive

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chrsitophwaltz · 5 years

Text

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 2/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: excuse my face and the pic qualities. up until this happened i haven’t really taken pictures of myself (less than 10 in the past two years for family and work purposes and NEVER selfies) and when you meet people you’ve only seen on TV in a very unexpected circumstance, then don’t expect your brain and motor functions to work 100%.

in the meantime, The Queen kathleen krüger showed up dragging a little carry on-sized bag. i really wanted a pic but i knew she always likes to be in the background so i just settled for a cheery greeting. she was shy-ish but super nice!

me: *trying to speak german again after 5 years* guten morgen!”

kathleen: *surprised that i recognized her but was super nice* morgen! wie geht’s?

me: sehr gut, danke. und dir? ( i used dir since she used informal and she didn’t look like it offended her or anything dsjfsdjf)

kathleen: oh, sehr gut auch. tschüss!

bless her heart! too bad she might lock niko up and issue a restraining order against me when we see each other next though sndmfbdsmnfbsnmdf

shortly after javi and kathleen left, thiago was next. it took a little while for him to get to me since other people also asked for pics and autographs. when he finally got to me and was signing my shirt, i really just had to tell him “hey thiago, you’re so good! you make it look so easy!” he laughed at that and said thanks. so nice and such a 🐐

i heard a distinct chuckle and Mr. Bayern himself came out. he was doing his usual thomas müller thing (it’s hard to describe but y’all prolly know what i mean) and was gamely eating a big banana when i asked for another autograph and picture (i got his autograph and picture at the hotel reception on friday already; this is the second time).

me: “hi thomas! could we take a picture again and have you sign my shirt?”

thomas: “ofhrjhf sjdjshfueh” (i’m positive he said “oh sure” or something, but with a mouth full of banana)

so nice! (and he didn’t show his usual cheeky müller grin, incisors and all, because, well........banana)

okay, here’s a tricky part. sven and leon came out almost simultaneously. sven was slightly first and i asked for the usual combo, and we were both already posed for the picture when i saw leon trying to zip by. greedy binch that i am, my intention was to get both of them in the frame. two birds, one stone. so i said “leon!” to call him over. B U T sven probably thought i was ignoring him and didn’t want his pic at all!!!!!!!!!! he mumbled “oh.....leon” and walked away (i think he probably meant “oh you wanted leon...”) NO SVEN!!!!! I WANTED YOU BOTH COME BACK!!!!! he was gone though and while i was excited to see leon and his beautiful curly hair again (idk if he recognized me but he had this look like “hmmmm...?” and he retweeted me just the night before sdbdmnbnd), i was panicking about the sven incident. it was bittersweet and i decided to really go to that t-mobile thing later on in the day so i could apologize to sven.

this is also prolly why i had this fugly half-assed smile (S VE N!!!!! ;__;)

(also note that leon is wearing lewy’s training shirt sjfbanmfbsahdfd idk why i didn’t ask)

O K A Y.

around this time was the part where i met niko. but since that whole shebang is a whole other experience in itself, i’m dedicating the entirety of part 4 to it. maybe it’s for the best too since it was just........g o d!!!!!! (kathleen krüger, i really hope you aren’t ever gonna see this blog, but in the off chance that you do, i’m sorry you had to see all that sdnfbndmfabnmfnd s o r r y)

anyway, that niko incident led me to run out of the hotel like it was on fire (told y’all, long story) so it was outside that i got to meet The Chef! he still looked kinda sleepy and was nursing a cup of coffee but was still nice enough to indulge me with a pic and autograph!

L M A O

okay. so, after serge got up on the bus, and while i was studiously avoiding kathleen’s stare (huehue s o r r y), manu came out. a lot of fans had already gathered behind the barriers outside and manu was a crowd favorite so everybody was screaming for him. i was still near the bus entrance and was standing in front of the barrier and two guys behind me were jumping and asking manu to autograph their replica world cup trophy. manu got to them first and stupid lil me was trying to take a pic with him while he was doing his thing. this giant man is about 6′4, and me a ruler and an inch shorter, so when he reached for the trophy, he nearly knocked me out gonzalo-higuain-in-the-2014-world-cup-final style.

(below is me before i nearly died a sweet, happy death c/o manu’s huge ass fists)

manu, teddy bear that he is, was like “oh no, sorry!” i didn’t mind at all sjdfhsdfsdj (i would’ve gladly let him knock me tf out lmao) so i said “it’s okay!” as an apology, he gamely signed my shirt and we finally took a decent, safe photo dsfbjksdfbsfnsbdns

*kill bill sirens* WEW! then The Polish Hitman, Mr. 5-in-9, The B O D Y himself, robert lewandowski came out. he was sporting that cursed beard again (sorry lewy, but in this very rare case, i say no stubble for you lmao). he still looked hot af tho and signed my shirt. and took this photo! (thank you to my phone for magically making this HDR)

there wasn’t anyone after him for a while and the team bus left already so i went back inside (thank you hotel A/C! it was hot as hell and i was shaking and overheating from being so close to them.... and embarrassing myself in front of all those people and Queen Kathleen lmao).

then, coco came out! i guess he’s gonna do individual training since he didn’t go with the team bus. he also did this lil massage thing on my left shoulder sdhbjdfsdn thanks for scoring our first goal the night before, coco! (he was hella cute too)

i think all the players were gone since the only ones left for the next 15 minutes were the entourage and media people. but one last parting gift! loddar himself came out. took a while for him to get out since he chatted with someone else for a few minutes so i settled for videoing him for my instagram story. then he finally got up and walked to the exit and that’s where i got him.

me: hi lothar, can we take a picture? (only a pic since he looked like he was in a hurry)

loddar: *with that perennial cranky look on his face but was still nice lmao* “ok sure!”

had to leave shortly after this to go to the mall since @simplyirenic messaged me that there were only 100 tickets for the adidas meet-and-greet, but hey! almost a full haul!

here’s 75% of the total spoils:

(i’ve maxed out my 10 photo per post limit again so stay tuned for part 3: the mall meet-and-greet with josh, sven (there’s a redemption arc! i’m not a total bitch!), benji (a surprise addition to the lineup), manu 2.0, and thomas 3.0!)

#HERE'S PART 2 KIDS!!!!!!! don't judge me!!!!! :(((((#manuel neuer #robert lewandowski #thomas müller #fc bayern #bayern munich #fcb #*my crappy shit #mickey meets fcb #thiago alcantara #leon goretzka #serge gnabry #corentin tolisso #lothar matthäus #💀💀💀#IM SO SORRY AGAIN KATHLEEN

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