#I’m fed up of the week so I relate to all of these rn

[jacarandaaaas]

mirabels bitch face !!

she’s so real

#encanto #encanto disney #disneys encanto #mirabel madrigal #mirabel encanto #this probably isn’t even all of them #I’m fed up of the week so I relate to all of these rn #like I am TIRED #anyways mirabels many expressions will always be one of my fave things about the movie #shes so funny like #disney’s encanto #mirabels bitch faces are iconic tbh

[pseudofaux]

Oohh are you still in tipseu mode?? If so, could we get something nsfw with Kiro? Maybe with Kiro also in a tipsy kinda mood? I’m inexplicably in love with him rn and as a result I’m literally d e s p e r a t e for anything Kiro related 👀

Nothing inexplicable about loving Kiro! 😍😍😍😍 Like the other MLQC guys, he is SO MUCH. So much! There’s so much goodness and hotness packed in that body! Even though his naughty level is unusually high for someone his size.

I hope you will enjoy this! 🙇🏻‍♀️💕

He said he was going to drink to keep her company while she drank the wine. Her week had been hard and she had been clinging to the prospect of their late-Friday time together since 8:00 AM Monday. She didn’t know how his week had been, other than busy— he’d only been able to send stickers to commiserate and cheer for her. But at last, the week was done. And they’d have the night and all day Saturday together!

...which might not be a spectacular time, if he gave himself a hangover.

“Maybe you should slow down,” she said gently after his third glass of pineapple juice, red sugar, and alcohol.

“What’s the matter?” He crooned from the sink. Ar least he seemed to be in a good mood. “Are you looooooonely? You want me to wriiiite you a sonnnnng?”

She couldn’t help laughing. “Yes, I’m lonely. Come back to the couch!”

He leapt over it, miraculously spilling not a drop of his new, sunset-looking drink.

“I’m back!” he declared, beaming at her. She had to laugh again. He was so much cheer and sunshine. She hoped he wasn’t draining his own batteries to help her feel better.

“Tell me about your week,” she said. “I know you were busy.”

He whined and set his drink down on the expensive coffeetable. The bright colors stood out against the darkness of the glass, against the whole scene of his hideaway apartment, which was a mellow and refined space. She was already a little toasted, so his dramatic refusal and the silliness of those drinks he kept making made her giggle.

“All that matters to me is right now,” he said. “I just wanna be with you.”

She smiled. He was always this sweet after unrestricted access to fruit juice.

“I wanna hear your voice,” he said, shifting closer to her. “What do you wanna tell me?”

They’d already gone over her week. She shook her head.

“Nothing? I could make you sing instead...”

“Like karaoke?” she played along, smiling. There was always good drinking (and eating!) at karaoke, and Kiro’s agency always got them access to the best spots.

“No,” he said sweetly, taking her by the chin. Hot against her mouth, he whispered “Not like karaoke.” And then he kissed her senseless. It felt so good so fast she might as well have had several glasses of wine.

He made it wet, pressing her into the soft leather. His mouth stayed on hers and his tongue didn’t let up. Only when she was whimpering did he pull back to let her catch her breath, and by then she didn’t want him to be away from her, so she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him right back. Kiro hummed into their kisses, repeating the same bars and easing back until she realized what he was doing and she hummed them, too, grinning.

He fed her snatches of songs, humming for her to repeat them to him. And his fingers walked up her stomach beneath her blouse. They were warm and really it was more like they were running, because he moved fast until he got to her breasts. The arrival cut off his humming with a moan.

“You’re doing all the singing,” she teased. He narrowed his eyes at her and flashed a wicked, tempting grin.

“We’ll see.” He squeezed both her breasts but then took one of his hands away to stabilize himself as he kneeled in front of her. Then the hand went directly up her skirt, prodding at the gusset of her panties, too thin to hide how wet she was. “You’ve done your vocal warmups, huh?”

She would have smacked him, but he pinched her clit in that terribly clever way only he knew how to, and she yelped as her body bowed, trying to get closer for more, trying somehow to go through him and escape. He wasn’t having it, of course. He pinched her again, and this time her nipple, too.

Did she make even three minutes? It didn’t feel like it. Every time he brought his fingers together she moaned happily and slid all over the couch. He stayed with her, kept her in his grip.

“See? I like that song,” he said, pulling the hand between her legs away just to find the hem of her skirt and push it toward her waist. “But I think you can be louder, right?” And then he yanked her sticky panties to the side and hummed right against her clit.

#mlqc fanfic #mlqc kiro #mlqc fanfiction #mlqc #tipseu #ohno-otome

[luvdsc]

hi miss cat! so i just recently read ur fic “august” and it was so heartbreakingly beautiful btw :”) you have such an amazing gift for writing and i hope you continue cus you’re touching a lot of people with the words and scenarios you create,, and the way i just resonate with each character especially y/n?? WOW.

august is also such a memorable and nostalgic month for me cus i met this guy (we don’t communicate anymore tho). we met thru a similar group of mutual friends at a get-together. he lived cities away from me so we usually just communicate via text or online. there wasn’t a label or anything but we would talk for days end. like it was we were “together” but not really “together” JADHHSJAAJ sometimes i would even wait and stay up late at night for him just so we could talk and he would do vice versa as well.

we met during august and i confessed to him later during Christmas Eve. turns out,, the feelings were mutual but it felt weird at the same time?? like usually we feel giddy and happy even but somehow it felt odd?? like in the back of my mind i kinda knew that this was probably gonna be the end and turns out i was right.

after our confession, we didn’t talk for awhile. at first i thought he was just busy so i just waited for him, while waiting, i would constantly message him everyday and update him on what’s been going on with me. i got to the point where i was just desperate like it was okay if he didn’t reply, just at least a “read” to all of my messages would be enough for me. so i rlly related to y/n so much in the fic :”) (btw i’m listening to august by taylor swift as i’m typing this so i’m kinda in my feels rn LMAO)

after 1737271 years, he FINALLY read them and then he blocked me in all of his socials??? LIEK?? OKAY DOUCHE?! then i heard from his friends that he deactivated after for awhile,,, and then when he came back and reactivated, i was able to messaged him again and i was just fed up and completely hurt and confused and asked him why did he block me and just ghosted me for months after everything.

GUESS WHO REPLIED?? HIS GIRLFRIEND?? I DIDNT KNOW HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND,, AND EVEN HIS FRIENDS DIDNT TELL ME ANYTHING, NOR WAS IT SPECIFIED IN HIS SOCIALS?? SO NOT ONLY AM I HURT BUT I FEL DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF?? like i would never try to ruin a relationship :// it was all just so messy.

turns out when i met him during august he was already dating someone, and during December when i confessed to him, it was also the same month of their 1st year anniversary. basically i just wanted to bury myself alive and drown in my tears at this point. it was the first time i was ever so invested in someone but in the end it felt like shit :// he was my “almost” which hurt the most cus he wasn’t technically mine? FOR GODS SAKE ALL THIS TIME I WAS THE SIDE HOE WITHOUT ME EVEN KNOWING LIKE HELL NAW IM OVER THIS😫😤🤢

we chatted a few weeks after, and surprisingly he initiated the conversation as if nothing had happened? he noticed i was being distant and cold and he was like “are u mad at me” nO I JUST RLY WANT TO PUNCH U OFF TO THE NEXT HEMISPHERE CUS YOURE SUCH A DOUCHE!!! and then he was like “i’m sorry, although I don’t really know what i should say sorry for, but yea i’m sorry” the fact that he didn’t see the reason/purpose as to why he should say sorry just makes his apology all the more meaningless 😪🤧

after that we just started fighting and that was the last time we ever talked to each other. i blocked his number and all his social media accounts, i even unfriended our mutual “friends” since i just wanted to cut everything and everyone related and connected to him completely.

but now i’m okay:D looking back, he wasn’t even worth it. it’s just a shame that he was the first person i invested all my love and time to, despite all the distance and uncertainty, that’s what i regret the most. it was also hard cus although i didn’t know about his relationship with his girlfriend i felt disgusted and ashamed of myself for awhile. like the ghosting did hurt but him blatantly lying and flirting with me despite being in a committed relationship hurt worse i can’t even imagine what his gf feels ohgod.

i’m sorry this is so long. but like i said earlier, you really have such a gift for writing and i hope that life offers you lots and lots of colorful, beautiful and fun moments in your life, like how it is in all your stories! hehe ❤️💫✨💐💐 stay safe miss cat and i’m wishing u all the best <3

hi, honey bee !! 💓 omg thank you so much for reading august and saying such nice things about it 🥺🥺💟 and you’re so sweet klashaskfdlj i’m gonna cry, thank you for complimenting my writing 😭💗💗 it makes me really happy to know that my stories can make you feel this way and that you can put yourself in yn’s shoes :’) 

oh god... reading what happened to you, i’m so so sorry that you wasted your time on such a d!ck /: he sounds absolutely disgusting, and the fact that he can’t even see where he went wrong??? also how his friends didn’t say anything?? jfc cheating is the one thing that makes me the most upset, like.... why would he do that???? if you wanna hook up with someone, break up with your s/o first. it’s a douche move, sure, but it’s the worst to cheat. you’re breaking your s/o at that point ): i’ve unfortunately seen both sides of this because of my friends, and god, i’ve seen the strongest girls get broken down because their trust is broken and they think it’s their fault and it’s just so so painful. i’m so sorry you had to go through this, lovebug ):

good on you for cutting off your mutual friends and everything associated with him. you don’t need that in your life, and i’m really happy that you’re doing okay and thriving now, sweetpea 🌸 i’m sorry that he was your first relationship ): i hope that, if you choose to try again, the next person knows how lucky they are to have you 🤍 you should not be disgusted nor ashamed of yourself, angel ): he’s the one who should be feeling those things. you didn’t know, and it’s not your fault. he hurt you and his gf, and that’s on him. (and i hope his gf dumped his sorry @ss)

and it’s okay, lovebug, you don’t have to apologize! 💞 thank you for wanting to share your thoughts and feelings after reading august 🥺💕 and thank you so so sooo much 😭💛 all my stories are based heavily on my life, so i’d say that life has indeed offered me tons of colorful and beautiful and fun moments :’) fingers crossed that i continue to receive more tho!!!! and i hope for the same for you, honey bee !!! i hope life treats you kindly and only good things come your way 🌼🌼 thank you again, lovebug, and i hope you’re staying safe and happy, and i’m sending you all my love and support 🌷🌷🌷✨

#asks #anonymous #flowers #fic: august

[iraprince]

do u have any advice for forcing past 50 layers of self loathing in order to work on practicing art? i know i gotta Just Do It to get better and i've gotten a lot better in the past few months thru consistent practice!! but some days i sit down to do it and immediately get hit with a feeling of You Will Never Be Good Enough And That Makes You A Bad Person that i really struggle to get past :/ i rly resonate w your posts about mental illness/health so i thought i'd ask! hope you have a good week!

it’s hard! it’s fucking hard. it takes constant daily practice -- not just at art but practice at being kind to yourself -- and it takes a long time, at least in my experience.

the first and most important thing, which you’ve probably already heard a billion times and are sick of hearing bc it’s so much easier said than done, is to try your best to stop comparing yourself to others. constantly holding yourself up to artists who are more technically adept/more polished than yourself will poison ur heart and brain and make it so, so much harder for u to focus on ur own craft. if you really, REALLY can’t turn that comparison/jealousy/stress into inspiration rn, it may mean you just have to actually limit the amount of time u spend looking at work that creates that ache in you, yknow? and so the flip side of this advice is another piece of advice i’ve given before, which is that u should surround yourself w people who are kind of roughly in the same “stage” of their creative journey as u. connect w other artists who are struggling w their confidence, other artists who don’t have much of an audience, other artists who are still trying to get their technical level to where they want it -- people who are going through stuff you relate to personally, instead of just following artists who you feel are already “way better” than u so all u feel when u look at their stuff is “my stuff will never look like that.” if u already do, that’s fantastic! lean into your interactions w them, learn from each other, and remind yourself constantly that FAR more people are in your boat (where we all have stuff artwise that we’re insecure about and we’re all trying really hard to get better and get our stuff out there) vs like, the amount of artists who are just “Good Enough!” and have settled there and are just chillin is comparatively very very small. MOST people feel exactly the way you do.

i also have a thread i wrote on twitter about how to deal with and work around the discouragement of not being technically skilled enough to draw what’s in your head. tldr: while you are in stages where you’re not happy with your skill level (which are feelings that will fade, and then come back, over and over again, for as long as you draw), instead of giving up, try to be realistic AND proactive and change the internal monologue from “i’m not good enough to draw this :(” to “okay. i’ll just frustrate myself if i keep trying to draw plan A. what’s a plan B that’s more realistic with my skill level?”

another thing it took me forever to learn is that everything doesn’t have to be posted. a lot of times a piece i was in the middle of wouldn’t actually be AWFUL, but it wouldn’t be “good enough to post,” so i’d convince myself i hated it. i spent ages thinking of every single drawing i ever made in terms of “is this polished enough to post, if i post this will anyone like/retweet/reblog this, will this make me look like i’m shitty at drawing if i post it,” blah blah blah blah blah, and finally realizing that u can just. MAKE drawings that aren’t that good, and nobody EVER has to see them if u don’t want them to and that doesn’t mean the drawing was a waste of time, was a revelation for me tbh. and i still struggle w feeling like any drawing that i don’t post and get validation on is a “waste” or like, pointless, but i’m training myself out of that and it helps a lot. sort of connected to this, try your BEST not to scrap drawings halfway through when you don’t like how they’re coming out. really really try to push through and finish crappy drawings. nobody has to know, and you’ll progress faster by making yourself finish things instead of giving up on a string of a dozen half-drawn heads.

aaaaaand finally: when drawing stops being fun and starts being something you’re torturing yourself with, maybe it’s time to go do something else for a while. like, i think utilizing this advice effectively requires having a really honest and realistic self-dialogue, bc literally the last thing i said before this was “make yourself do things you don’t want to do” and i don’t want this advice to turn into “well every single time i get frustrated that means it’s time to give up on practice for the day,” obviously. but i mean there IS a line between gritting your teeth and pushing through dull/embarrassing/just not super fun practice for the greater good, vs torturing yourself banging your head against a wall for hours at something that’s not making you happy. sometimes if you hit a plateau or you just can’t find any joy or contentment in trying that just means you’re creatively depleted. you need to rest and go soak in some inspiration and just get away from your tablet/sketchbook for a while and that’s so normal. besides, you’re already doing fine: from the way you phrase this, you HAVE been consistently practicing, and it’s just that some days you’re tired and fed up and you can’t do it. there’s nothing weird about that! that’s how everyone is! so, you know: work hard, play hard, but be nice to yourself and cut yourself a little more slack. you’ll get there and it’s not a race.

#Anonymous

[naruvibing]

TAG 8 PEOPLE TO GET TO KNOW THEM!

I was tagged by @tsuki--no-hime a hot minute ago. Sorry for doing this so late, uni started last week and I’ve been super busy but I got so happy when you tagged me!!

Okay here we go then 

Favourite color: uhh probably viridian green. I like all kinds of bluish greenish vibes. They remind me of the ocean

Last song: I’m listening Sunday Best by Surfaces rn

Last movie: it’s been a while since I’ve had enough time and energy to properly enjoy a movie... According to Netflix it was The Lord of The Rings: Two Towers. I seem to remember mom was feeling down so I put it on and we skipped everything not related to Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli and afterward she was smiling so I guess it worked xd

Last tv show: My Hero Academia. I started watching it a few weeks ago bc of something questionable I saw on tiktok and it’s great! I’m halfway through the third season now. Can’t wait for the bird man to show up :D

Sweet, spicy or savoury: I'm more of a savoury kind of gal 

Bubbly water, tea or coffee: I’m a tea drinker but I prefer herbal blends without caffeine. My body doesn’t vibe with caffeine, like at all

Tagging: @boomboyandsmash @narutomemes @dykegaara @usersakura @tonyssoul @zabuzamomochi @sasukes-grass-fed-dick @nnaruto 

I don’t know a lot of you very well but I think y’all are really cool :)

#feeling good rn

[girlfriendkisses]

1-50!! / the ones you want

1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me? Blindfolded probably?? but it’s not something I’m into but like not against, might be fun to try ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I just like seeing eyes, helps know what’s goin on and what ur feeling

2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse? I think for me personally preforming oral, I’d have to be super worked up. Both are good! I just like the idea, sounds hot

3. What was your high school sex fantasy? Something about gummy bear people tying me down and experimenting on me, maybe like alien stuff. Is a gummy bear gangbang like a specific kink?

4. What’s your favorite position? I like to be fucked from behind n I like to ride my daddy. And whatever is most comfy honestly!! Esp on pain days

5.  Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy? I think I have nice legs n my baby likes my ass a lot. I’m not the best w knowing my body

6.  Do you like to swallow? I really have no plans to know how to answer this

7.  Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone? My daddy!! 💕❤️💕🥰

9. Where is one place you would never have sex? In front of like my family is the only thing I can think of, I’m down anywhere

10. Top or bottom? Both! Topping and bottoming is easy people, switching is where it’s at. Like dom/sub is different from top bottom... please learn this

11.  Best sexual complement you ever got? Same! Making my daddy cum or at least get rlly close makes me rlly happy! Bc I know it’s hard with another person for him

12. When was the first time you masturbated? Wow I was a young child I can’t even remember

13.  Have/would you ever have sex outside? I have and would like to again!!

14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? My daddy and yes ❤️ means the world!

15.  Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all? Underwear and big shirts but I really want some cute and cozy jammies

16.  If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list? My daddy. He’s the to do list. Today getting spanked is rlly big on my mind and also grinding !!!

17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker? No but I don’t have to worry about that

18. Do you have a gag reflex? Not really! Like last night I was high and deep throating my fingers Bc I wanted to feel it. Like I gag sometimes but don’t like actually throw up ever

19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop? Award winning!

20. Are piercings sexy? Yesum

21. Can/Have you ever squirted before? No n I would freak out if I did

22. List your kinks. Wow so many, u know them

24. What was your first kinky sexual experience? Consensual was college and a nice girl and she tied me up n spanked me and I rlly liked it! She also collared me and fed me cookies and that was really cute of her 🥰

25. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they? It can be an outlet I guess! When I want to shut off my brain

26. What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? Communication and reassurance!

27. Something that never fails to make you horny: my daddy posting usually or reading his blog. When he says something dirty to me or calls me babygirl it’s just immediate 🦋🦋🦋🦋 and when he send me pics!!! Looking at shirtless pictures makes me 🦋🦋🦋

29. The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when: I mean we’ve been walked in on and had to hide under the blanket, and when petunia sat on my butt. Last hookup that was not my partner I started crying sad tears which was awkward

30. Whats the best way to sexually bind someone? (handcuffs, ropes, etc.) I like my soft pink ropes a lot, I tie my wrists with them sometimes and just vibe. Anything that can be used to comfortably tie someone up!

31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny? Calling me cute pet names and kissing my neck, telling me u want me, running ur hands on my ass/hips/over my pussy. Oh wrestling. 👁👄👁

32. Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: I don’t really want people to find my daddy collar but idc about the rest

34. How big is too big? I have worlds tiniest pussy so basically more than 2 fingers at this point

35. One sexual thing you would never do: yeah I’m not super into rimming

36. Three spots that drive me insane: my ass is rlly sensitive, my thighs, and my pussy lips. My neck is too! I don’t know my body too well

37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? Yes god please

38. Is it good sex even if you don’t cum? Yeah!!! Cumming is intense and sometimes I can’t do it

39. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/Why not? I watch strap porn n gay porn rarely, mostly watch porn I can relate to! Support trans pornstars and content creators!

41. Do you like giving head? Why/why not? I love it and it’s good ! I love how my baby moans and guides my head, I love how his dick twitches sometimes and the yummyness

42. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how long have you had them? I have a tentacle for a week now but I am bleeding but soon. I did tease the tip a tiny bit but not in

44. Have you had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) this question makes me want to puke

46. Spanking: turn on or turn off? Turn on!!! So much!! I am really super very desperate for it!!! Spank me!!! I need to get a paddle or crop just to make it easier to spank myself when daddy isn’t here

47.  What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? Christmas lights 🤪

48. Biggest sexual fantasy? I have so many! But my main long term sex goal (?) is to take daddy’s whole strap. And rn for him to fuck me with his built in dick

49. Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer? Kitchen counter 🙈💕

50. Thoughts on period sex? No thanks! Grinding with many layer maybe but I’m pill now so no thanks! Blood = bad

#answered

[cowboybuckleys]

get to know me tag game - Magicians edition

tagged by @steverogrs this is such a good idea! <33

name: mel, i also respond to ‘hey you’ and smartass lol

when you started watching the Magicians: s4, i only started a few weeks ago and made it my life’s and insomnia’s mission to catch up as quickly as i could. it was on my list for ages. and then i got lightly nudged into it by two different people and i’m not even mad lol

favorite season (so far): i like aspects of them all, but season 3 is my favorite for all the characters, season 4 has been shaping up to be pretty iconic tho

favorite female character(s): margo and fen. i do like them all, for what they bring to the table, but i would murder for margo and fen

favorite male character(s): eliot and quentin, it’s the strangest thing but i love them all as well, even Josh who on any other show would drive me nuts, but it’s the first show i don’t outright despise a main character. be the penny solidified my love for penny, and todd’s character growth over the 4 seasons has been oddly enjoyable?? he makes me laugh a lot, so there’s that.

if you were a magician, what would be your discipline? (i.e. your specialty,options here) definitely physical magic, i don’t think i’d do very well at the other ones

which of the main characters would you best get along with? probably Josh or Eliot, both of them would be super fun and super relaxed and that’s my slow jam

which of the main characters do you relate to most? probably Quentin, cos of the mental health stuff. or Eliot cos the booze lol. a little bit of Margo too because i can be snarky af

favorite unlikable character/villain: as much as i want him outta Eliot as soon as, i really have enjoyed The Monster. it’s given Hale some brilliant scenes. i definitely want Eliot back though lol

favorite pairing(s): quentin/eliot, josh/margo surprisingly lol, fen/margo, kady/penny/julia in all forms, i love love love q and eliot and margo’s friendship, josh interacting with julia and fen has been really interesting but i think i’d prefer it as a friendship too

favorite episode(s): 1x03, 1x11, 2x05, 2x08, 3x04 because penny and because of the last like 5 minutes of the episode lol, 3x05, 3x09 but mostly cos of under pressure (and this is coming from me, the hater of musical eps on a non-musical show lol), 3x13, 4x02, 4x05, 4x07 (it was nice to get some good fen content. i was well fed after that)

top 3 fandoms outside magicians: robron (it comes and goes lately cos fandom is so boring to me rn :\), b99, TUA. i’ve got so so many fandoms i dip my toes in tho. too much for my own good XD

dream job: anything where i can travel and write about it. i’d just like to experience places outside of the US for once

what one thing do you wish people knew about you? that i’m fucking awful at starting conversations. i’m notoriously bad at making the first move, in relationships and in friendships. i’m never bugged by being sent shit or having people excitedly yelling at me about fandom stuff, but i’m really awful at starting those convos myself. i’ve made some genuinely lovely friends tho and and and i’ve gotten so much inspiration from other fans, and i love making things for people. so i am trying to be better about starting conversations lol

@rustandruin @astralpenny @yasisworld idk who else watches it outside of some of the newer people??? so if you do, and you’re following me, tag me so i can read your answers and then come yell at you about our love for this show?? :D

#about me #long post

[mimimariet]

hi, im depressed.

but i’m also happy.

that’s probably a weird combination to have, but it’s normal really. i’m sure everyone knows that. and im just really open about a LOT of things which i’m sure anyone else with a mental illness wouldn’t be this open where as they should be open with like. a professional. but i don’t care.  as everytime i vent and cry i gotta say my disclaimer of the usual: people have it worse, i am seeking help (on meds rn), not looking for sympathy or pity, not trying to normalize the negative parts. though anyone out there if theres a hard relate or looking for hope or just plain bored reading my content. hello. i’m depressed. but i’m also happy.

when i say that i mean my hearts pretty happy.

when i’m depressed i mean my situation living here. my coworker is a piece of shit who constantly antagonizes me. he’s been talked to but he dismisses everything ever said. he’s also a huge transphobe and racist. instead of being educated he rather argue and say “offensive humor is just humor, not everyone will like it.” that’s not a defense to have. he’s also a huge trump supporter so you already know he’s a lost cause. dunno why his mom bothered popping him out.

not to mention the already been before mentioned of my family degrading me. just florida in general is shitty and i’ve expressed it for a while now -- i hate living here. the people suck, my job sucks, the weather sucks. i dunno i’m not happy here and i haven’t been in a while. i dont think there was a point where i said I LOVE FLORIDA. shits expensive. i’m 24 years old. i can’t even afford to rent some place. and i’m still walking, i don’t have my license.

it’s just frustrating that for like a year now i’m finding myself crying every night. well. almost every night. do i deserve to be treated like dirt? i dunno. is this karma for being a shitty person? i’m honestly neutral with people. but i’m fed up. and i want to fight. if i fight though i’ll be the one in trouble.

coworker sprayed me in the face by accident with glass cleaner. which causes irritation in the eyes or skin. i reported it but he’s still harassing me. and he’s been threatening me. claims “i only mess with you cause you mess with me.” yeah it’s a reaction. theres consequence to action. you’re gonna get smacked. you’re gonna get a bruise from me. i’m tired of it.

other than that though.. i’ve had some pretty great support by my side. like. i dunno. my hearts happy. give credit where credit is due. i’m so grateful for isaac. i feel so so so loved and i love him so much.

and i’m terrified cause he’s visiting in 56 days. he’ll actually be here. bought the tickets in november. and i just hope it goes well. i really do.

lot of personal issues i have to work on but a lot of them are really vanity along with mental problems. shit i can’t really afford right off the bat. take years to fix this mess. why im so nervous.

just ready to be with someone whos got that unconditional love for me and i really hope he still likes me upon seeing me at the airport LMAO.. ughhh. i’m miserable i’m so so miserable.

i’m worn out. there was a week where i was unbelievably exhausted. i’m a workaholic. i’ll draw constantly. i’ll have manic moments where i’ll literally draw the whole day and miss meals. (i’m not healthy lol) but for 2 days i slept. for 12 hours each. and i hated myself. i quite literally took days off. and i hate doing that cause i’m left with guilt of UNPRODUCTIVITY. which is something i need to work on.. Giving myself breaks.

My body’s falling apart tbh. almost 2 weeks ago my knees started giving me issues. and i just laid in bed. worn out. and isaac told me i needed to like make this doctors appointment (which is in 12 hours) to see what i need to do to get healthier. (he isn’t the only one concerned but he’s definitely the one pushing me.) i dunno if anyone’s long time followed me but 2 years ago i was diagnosed pre-diabetic, weighed 196 pounds. went off my medicine in a dangerous fashion and dropped nearly 30 pounds. dunno my status though. never checked up on that. that’ll be today’s event. if not the next appointment. new patient shit y’know. being that low-key suicidal type of person i just didn’t care about myself and i’m really paying for it now by giving myself anxiety issues out the daily. wonderful. good job me. like. for one my teeth have been fucked since childhood. so that’s an expense on its own. but high blood pressure and i almost thought i was having a heart attack (got laughed at) and just figured it was panic/anxiety attack so whatever. i’m not doing so hot. that’s apparent. ah well. making the steps.

again i’m so grateful for this boy and there’s no way for me to truly express that enough. i’ll take the fucking bullet for him. he’s my ride or die.

often worry about being a cling on. i like the attention of one person at a time. i attach so hard to people and i’m paranoid i’m gonna push them away cause being clingy is “toxic”.

i dunno my preference isn’t to isolate myself. i like being a loner but i like being a one on one person. i like being alone but i dont like being lonely.

a workaholic with a liking of like 5 people max really.

and i’ve tried doing this reassurance thing where if i’m feeling like garbage for just existing my mind says “youre human, you’re kind, you dont deserve this shit you deserve respect you deserve love”

but i got so fucking annoyed with myself that i just stopped doing it. it’s ANNOYING AS FUCK. I HATE IT. I hate myself. but i’m all i got. i’m entertaining and loving as all hell. til i depersonalize which happens often enough to stress me out even more. oh well. this is my life. i gotta do better..

sigh.

tired.

still alive.

#the bipolar

[slinkinginshadows]

Substitute

Made some belly related venom death ship stuff... because I am weak and I like it a lot. No warnings besides mentions of eating heads, rn they’re just stuffed with food.

Wordcount: 500

Ryou settled back. “Think that can make up for not being able to hunt around?”

“For now.” Darkness said, even as he curled around Ryou’s warm, churning belly.

Ryou hadn’t seen anyone worthy of being Darkness’s meal in over a week, and the symbiote had gotten restless, starting to nibble on the edges of Ryou’s liver and appendix.

So Ryou had spent a good portion of his allowance on a massive feast, all of which was currently settled in his stomach. Potatoes, pepperoni and sausage pizza, burgers, chocolate cake... nothing too expensive, so he could load up on quantity. The table was littered with wrappers and boxes, most covered in grease or crumbs.

“What do you mean, for now? I’m stuffed.” As if to accent his point, a thick burp bubbled past his lips, still tasting like the cake. “You have to like this.”

”I do. The chocolate and the burgers especially, although the meat pizza was decent too.” Ryou had pushed his shirt up, and saw something thick moving under his skin as Darkness curled around the stomach. ”You did this for us.”

“Mhm. It tasted good, sure, but I wouldn’t have been able to eat even half of this without you. And I used to binge a lot.”

”You are good to us.” Darkness practically purred. ”We don’t get heads as often as we’d like, but Ryou keeps us well-fed and happy.”

Ryou stifled another burp as his stomach churned away and Darkness gave the organ a squeeze. “I do my best. You chose me, so I should try to be a good host.”

”Best host, loves us.” Darkness said, sounding cocky. ”If you let us run the night, we would be even stronger, even better.”

“I have my- urp!- limits.“ Ryou said. “But thanks, love.” He set both hands on his stomach, scooting his chair back a bit from the table as he massaged his fingers over the warm flesh. Already Darkness was starting to help digest it, turning it to either energy for himself or fat to be used later.

”Anytime.” Darkness formed his head and nuzzled up against the belly, before moving up to Ryou’s cheeks. ”If we can’t have heads, can we have chocolate? And more food? Ryou would be even better with more fat storage for energy.”

“You just want more cake, don’t you? I don’t have a limitless food budget, you know.” His stomach gave a loud gurgle in an answer, and his hand sunk in a bit to new softness.

Darkness grinned up at him with razor-teeth and Ryou wondered how a murderous alien could look so cute as he stood up (taking a moment to adjust to a new center of balance because of the padding around his middle) and reached for the chocolate in the cabinet. He could go without getting new paint for his models this month if it kept his ‘roommate’ happy, especially since that joy always trickled back to him.

#venom/ #ygo/ #deathsh #shadow writes stuff #belly kink #stuffing

[etcrump]

Really thankful for family lately. I’ve been in a larger rut than I’ve realized and haven’t been able to reach out to anyone until my recent climactic anxiety attack and my hormones are waaaayyyy out of wack. I’m finally seeing a psychiatrist in the next month, but I’m also wondering if I need a therapist. I find it hard to fully express myself a lot of the time, but I know that also has to do with my adhd. And then the physical pain I’ve been in has also limited what I can do and I’m truly feel trapped. My confidence has been shot, so reaching out to loved ones in general has been hard. My family has stepped up a bit and reminded me of my value but I’m having a hard time feeling my value in life. My job is awful, I’m not pursuing anything related to my passions, and the team I work does not respect me or my time. I nearly sent a resignation email yesterday to my hr, but my bf reminded me I should likely hold off until next months so my appts next month are still covered by their insurance. I’m not sure if I’m quitting next week but I think I’m going to be honest with my boss on the mental and physical stress I’ve been under and how I don’t think I’d be the best to work at event to try and fundraise when I can’t even reach out to my best friends to see if they are free to chat. Idrk what the point of this is other than to let my thoughts out, but on a positive note, I do have a number of in person dinners and trips with good friends starting tonight and through the next few weeks and I might be able to stay a week with my family in Williamsburg at the end of the month and a number of fun concerts coming up, so I should be excited for all that and yet I’m living with existential dread in the hours before I meet up with friends for dinner. I just wish I didn’t have to work to have benefits. Or that I could pursue something I love without fear of going bankrupt for medical, dental, mental emergencies and procedures. All I know rn is my body hurts most ways I try to relax, namely sitting and laying unless I’m specific ways. Seeing the orthopedic doctor on Wednesday, and I’m so ready for whatever they suggest I should do to heal bc I’m so fed up with resting. Oh and I also stopped taking the anti anxiety that I got from urgent care to hold me over until my first appt with the psychiatrist. The side effects while I was between doses were not fun, and even though I only took one at night but about for 2 weeks, I do think my hormones are extremely out of balance. However that could just be from the stress I’m in rn

#stream of conscience #rant #stressed #anxiety #adhd #lonely

[clarkesablake]

As Promised...

I rewatched the episode this evening and quickly typed out my rereactions in chronological order. Please like this post if you’d want to see it again next week. It’s probably slightly messy, because I’ve never done something like this, but it was fun, and it’s a good insight into my inner monologue. I’ll also get better as the season goes on. Ik I love reading stuff like this on other people’s blogs. 

Overall, I liked the episode. It was slightly underwhelming, because we already knew most of what happened, but it was cute, and I’m excited for the story this season. (and, as someone who has never actually said or believed this before: It really is Our year Blarkes!)

·       Clarke looking at maps, nice callback to s1, #1 earth skills student

·       “at least I don’t have to swim” I didn’t think about the fact that she was at Becca’s house, the ocean dried up, makes sense

·       She’s so freaking pretty I’m sorry wow

·       I always assumed she wouldn’t even try to dig up the bunker until after 5 years, I didn’t realize she’d try to join them at all

·       I’m wishing we saw some of her first moments/days after praimfiya

·       Is it a coincidence that the rubble collapsed after she looked at Lex.a’s throne? I think not lol.

·       “how the hell am I gonna make it 5 years?” they did a good job conveying how hopeless her situation seems, and how long that time really is when you’re alone

·       MAYA AND JASPER ghfbgrkeu I’m so sadd, I’m sooo glad she’s getting to mourn

·       I hope Monty gets to read his letter

·       “realll cheerful clarke, ignore me” loll this cracks me up, so relatable, coping humor

·       “I’m proud of you” *insert sobbing* she thinks she’s gonna die, she Loves him

·       These landscapes are really cool!

·       Her eyes are so blue

·       Idk who she’s thanking for the rain, but I love seeing her smiling at the little things abt earth such as rain, it’s a lot like s1 really when they breathed real air for the first time and the delinquents celebrated the first rain

·       The radiation storms remind me of acid fog in s1 too, I wonder if they’ll continue to be a thing, probably not after 6 years I guess

·       SO the solar panels are destroyed, why does the rover work later in the episode? I’m kinda confused about that

·       Sidenote: the wandering through the desert reminds me of Holes

·       It’s really difficult to watch Clarke breaking down like this, but how much she’s fought thus far shows us that she really does want to survive deep down, it’s just hard

·       Is it weird that I smiled when she killed the bird? I strangely enjoy going back to the basics of survival, finding resources, again, like s1. I had missed that aspect of earth being just earth, nature in its purest form, beautiful and terrifying

·       She’s being reborn in the water <33

·       I love Madi’s little village, I hope they use a lot of that set

·       “God this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive, If I knew I was gonna see you again” GAHHHHH

·       “Positive thoughts Clarke,” gfeuwcvke I love it

·       I even missed Trigedasleng what even

·       Baby Madi is adorable and terrifying

·       It’s an interesting thought that Madi was trained to avoid the flamekeepers and that’s why she was never found, I love little details like this!

·       I would love hearing her talk more about her childhood and parents

·       Okay It’s great that Clarke’s using medical skills again, but she didn’t clean the wound, and she most def should have lost her leg from infection without sterile equipment

·       Madi in the window like a horror movie actually made me jump

·       How many times will they use the same tree shot from the pilot lmao

·       Clarke is lucky Madi didn’t stab her w/ that spear tbh

·       “child from hell” lollllllllllll

·       Clarke’s not the only one good w/ kids, I love how she left the drawing without saying Anything

·       She’s also hella good at manipulating people (in this case it’s in a good way)

·       Little Madi’s smile awwwww

·       Clarke looks so Good in her tank top and w/ the fish Madi taught her how to catch, she’s gonna have so many more Grounder skills now!

·       Still wondering how they fixed the rover

·       Also confused as to why Clarke wants Madi to speak only English (other than for the purposes of the show)

·       “Do you think they’ll come back too?” Because priorities <3

·       Triple G: Green’s green goop <3 + Make algae not war, Te Amo Monty

·       Emori being happy and joking w/ the others and being excited about spacewalks and defending her new friend Raven this is Everything

·       I’m also glad they made a system to avoid talking about the time, and considerate because of how hard this is on Raven

·       I was so surprised by the whole Murphy being separate from the group thing! But it makes sense. I still love him SO much. And despite him struggling a little bit rn he’s still a smiling adorable idiot

·       “you’re not worthless Murphy” SAY IT LOUDER FOR EVERYONE IN THE BACK

·       “We make decisions as a team here” Emori has grown so much I can’t

·       Dropship Parallelsssss

·       “All of them” Clarke’s first instinct = ALL the guns, Bellamy would be so proud

·       Madi hiding in the whole is a Clear Octavia parallel this is gonna be so Interesting

·       “Only choice” ((((ALSO AN OXYMORON BY THE WAY))))

·       Zeke is beautifuul and smart, ((((((((((JUST LIKE RAVEN REYES AHHHHHHHH))))))))))))

·       I wonder if we’ll learn more about the two other non-violent offenders

·       “for starters cause she’s a kid” GOOD REASON thx reasonable man, it’s unfortunate you died

·       “There are no good guys” a dangerous rhetoric to teach a kid Clarke, there might be consequences for that in more ways than one

·       Just let Monty be HAppY, he just wants to be safe and w/ the people he loves

·       I don’t really get Marper but I’m so glad she’s there for him

·       I love Raven and Emori friendship!

·       Murphy knows he done fed up something good he’s just too proud to deal w/ it rn

·       Murven <333 I’ll take them how I can get them, and I love that she doesn’t put up with his bs

·       Ik I’m supposed to be mad at bech.o but I love seeing Bellamy happy and hopeful and smiling and having someone there to support him (plus do yourself the favor of appreciating his kissing skills and imagining Clarke there)

·       Octavia looks terrifyingly beautiful oh my lands

#clarkesablake #the 100

[oodlenoodleroodle]

Tagged by @eldritchwug​ on my main but I’ll do it here

Name: Inari (I will take this opportunity to once again point out that my name, as given to me by my parents at my birth, is Finnish, not Japanese. Yes there is a Japanese name that is exactly the same. Finnish and Japanese just happen to share a lot of sounds and syllable structures and it’s a total coincidence that both languages/countries have the name Inari. They are not related. I am firmly in the “white people should stop with the taking on of Japanese names on the internet, it’s kinda racist” -camp, but am also fed up with ignorant white people claiming that that’s what I’m doing with my Finnish name, like, just do a fucking google) Nickname: iippo (and whomsoever is sitting on the iippo tumblr url should either fucking use it or give it to someone [me] who will actually fucking use it >_> ) Gender: Queer Zodiac Sign: Scorpio Height: Inch shy of six feet, aka 178 cm Languages spoken: Finnish, English, Swedish, Dog Favourite fruits: Eh, I’m not really a fruit person, it stresses me out when I don’t eat them fast enough and then they go bad. Favourite scent: Amorito by The Body Shop (discontinued, so if anyone sees any in like eBay or something, I’m always interested in acquiring some) Favourite season: Autumn Favourite colour: So you know how someone can say their favourite color is green but there are like 30 million different shades of green? Well my favourite color is the one that these are all shades of: off-white, cream, tan, beige, light wood, dry sand, old paper, coffee with milk in it, the average color of the universe, etc etc. Favourite animal: Dog Coffee, Tea or Hot Chocolate: Eh, I don’t drink coffee or tea (because Mormon) but I’m not that into hot chocolate either. I do drink some of those caffeine-free teas like rooibos and peppermint tea and stuff like that, and at one point also enjoyed that coffee substitute stuff that’s made of like chickory and stuff, you know.  Average hours of sleep: 9. Favourite fictional characters: Garnet from Steven Universe, Jadzia Dax from Deep Space 9, Snuffkin from Moomins.  Number of blankets you sleep with: o.O One.  Blog Created: I genuinely don’t know or recall.

What I post: Social justice, pokemon, Steven Universe, memes?  Favourite songs: Uhhhh, have a playlist. Favourite artists: Of dead ones: Marcel Duchamp, Fra Angelico, Sandro Botticelli. Of living ones: J.A. Juvani, me (I make work that I like; if someone else made it I’d like them the most) Favourite books:  Harpo Speaks! by Harpo Marx. The Ongoing Moment by Geoff Dyer. Last movie I watched: Bleh, if I was filling this out next week I would have a much cooler answer but now it’s Jesus Christ Superstar, and in the cinema that new one Mary Magdalene. (We do a thing where we watch two movies that are somehow related to each other, and last weekend was easter so we did Jesus movies, but this weekend we’re gonna have a Taika Waititi movie weekend). Last thing I Googled: What Botticelli’s first name was >_> Do I get asks: Very rarely, they give me anxiety. Following: 347 Followers: 619 on main, 549 on this one. Lucky number: 558 Instruments: None, I sort of have a guitar but I haven’t touched it in yonks. Dream job: Ehhhh. I mean. Something something art, y’know to use my education in that area but I’m atm kind of bummed out by job seeking and hate everything. Dream trip: I think rn going to Lappland on a train would be cool, or do the ferry to Stockholm -thing. It sounds boring but I’m in a place/mood rn where the idea of planes does not appeal to me, and I’d like to showmy spouse some of the places near-ish here. Do I have a crush: Yes! On @geoffreyedwards​ :D :D :D (to the folks just tuning in, I’m married to them) Hair colour: Eh, like that nondescript highway blonde that Finnish people have

Tagging: Do this thing friends! :D

[sayonai]

Crossfire by Stephen?

ahhh sorry i’m answering this so late! my inbox didn’t notify me :\ anywayy

i feel like this whole song kinda resonates with me rn cos i really feel that it relates to all the shit that’s been going on in the world recently - the shootings and car “accidents” and all that. i actually don’t live in the us (or london, etc all the places things have been happening), but i’m still honestly so disgusted when i wake up and hear that something else has happened.i feel like this song actually really does portray a message that i feel resonates with me, though, which i wasn’t expecting. as i read in the comments of the music video (i watched the video and listened to the song instead of just looking at the lyrics, but i think that’s normal) i agreed that the idea that was being shown was about society being blinded and manipulated by a corrupt force without knowing. (or something along those lines.) i feel like this is significant right now, because so many terrible things are happening, and so many people that could help or are in positions of power and actually able to do something, is turning a blind eye to it. we can’t live on like this, eventually something’s got to change, but no one’s doing anything about it. idk man, i’m just fed up with it all. despite nz not being affected, (besides being shaken up by the things that have been happening recently) i still feel strongly that it shouldn’t be happening. despite so many people fighting and crying out that we can’t have anything happen like this again, it does. sometimes barely a week goes by. it’s ridiculous. something needs to happen. fast.anyway, since i’m rambling, i think the lyric ‘whose ammunition justifies the wrong?’ is really relevant right now - what with all the questioning about whether or not it’s terrorism, because of what they did or what race they are, and all that. just seems to hit a little too deep right now, when it shouldn’t. we shouldn’t have to be dealing with this. (aah what is our world right now??)anyway, this changed from a simple ask meme to a full-blown tangent on what’s happening in the world right now,,, sorry about that. it seems a little cheesy, but thank you for the ask, anyway! this was probably, almost definitely, not the answer you were expecting nor wanting, but i got a little carried away. idk. i’m just a little pissed off at how little is being done to stop all these attacks and stuff, ya kno? i just need to take a breather aahh :’o

#fuck it ykno? ima talk about it #im so fucking fed up w the world rn #fuck you terrorists #and fuck you to all the people that have the ability to do something; should do something; but isn’t doing anything #gun laws? i dont even live in the us and i still think its at least an idea to consider #please for the love of god fucking do something; anything #theres so many innocent people being hurt because fuck all is being done #im so sick of it #anyw good night y’all ima slee and try n breathe for the next week okay?? here’s to hoping that tomorrow the news will be okay #or the rest of the year; that would be fantastic #cya; love you guys <33 :’)

[hidingmurklins]

Corn Teen is wreaking havoc on me. I repeat: I AM NOT OKAY. I'm not sleeping at night, I can't go anywhere, and I've given up on school work because I just can't do this shit anymore. Because of the chaos, I've been forgetting to take my meds, which is obviously making everything worse.

I've been off my meds for a few weeks now and I have noticed the following (TRIGGER WARNING, I AM NOT KIND TO MYSELF OR OTHERS RN SO BE PREPARED FOR SOME BAD SELF-TALK):

- Hypomanic and Depressive episodes are back but like, worse than before (probably because of the whole social isolation thing and the other added stressors). I always shower every second day, rarely going up to 3 days without a shower. Lately I shower once a week, regardless of how I smell or how greasy I am. The apathy and executive dysfunction are real and I am not okay. And the swinging back and forth has me up for over 24 hours straight, asleep for 12+ hours straight, rinse and repeat. This is obviously not productive to family life.

- Hyperarousal! I'm suddenly so afraid of the dark again I have to sleep with the lights on, even if my dog is with me. It's like if I turn the lights off, the creature from (Guillermo del Toro's?) The Labyrinth with eye sockets in its hands or the girl from The Grudge are going to come plopping and swaying out of the darkness and grant me a slow and extremely painful death. If I hear any kind of sound my squirrel brain has my heart pumping fast enough to explode, and I am ready to scream, to throw shit, to run away, and to bite and otherwise destroy anything that should get in my way. These panic episodes aren't great when your child walks in after having a bad dream and when you hear "Mommy" in the dark your first reaction is a blood-curdling scream cause then you have to soothe yourself real quick and then soothe the poor child you just forced some extra trauma on. Luckily, snuggles help both. Still not okay.

- Zero chill and zero tolerance for any additional minor inconveniences. Someone other than my offspring comes into my suite? Time to commit a felony. My offspring doesn't do essential things like wash hands and brush teeth when I ask the first time? Sorry but you're an orphan now, please refer to GG and Papa for anything further. Someone has the AUDACITY to CALL me on MY PHONE??? Get the fuck off of my planet you extraterrestrial shitbag. I burned the cookies?? I'm a useless bitch and deserve nothing but misery and death for wasting resources and having nothing more to contribute to society; I can't even parent right and if this was medieval times I would be burnt at the stake and if this was pre-contact maybe I wouldn't be so fucked up or maybe I'd be ostracised for being such a dumb angry cunt with no regard for other peoples feelings because mine are too much for me and I'm a danger to my relatives.

-Memory and concentration are worse. I grew up English-French Bilingual, and when smeone asked me to say Apple Pie in French I said Potato. (Tarte a pommes -> Pomme de Terre?? Close but WRONG). We put the last batch of cookies in the oven and Offspring said she was hungry so I fed her and forgot about the cookies which consequentially burned, (then I felt like the first few stanzas of Frozen II's The Next Right Thing and had to cry in my room for a bit while she was eating with the rest of the family, but that's on Zero Chill ^^). I can't even remember to bring my Animal Crossing villagers a piece of fruit that grows in my own village and when I go to talk to them I don't even remember them asking me for things so I have to select 'what was that?'. I feel demented.

- I am so sore all of the time, and more than usual. Related fact: my meds are also used by some people for nerve pain so I guess that's a thing? Maybe I just never realized how much pain I was in before I started taking them, maybe my new bad habits are aggravating my poor abused and neglected body, maybe both?? Should I do some yoga? Probably. Do I want to? Honestly, yeah, I love Yoga, bring on the stretches. Am I going to? Not unless I'm getting real life interaction with a certified instructor because only social interaction with someone I respect and/or am infatuated with trumps executive dysfunction. So nope lol.

Uhh idk what else. But yeah, that's that on non-adherence as it relates to me and whatever I'm (supposed to be) on, Cymbalta? Idk I've been on a lot of different meds and I always fall into the non-adherence pit of despair because they stop working or I just stop taking them for stupid reasons and I can't even force myself to take them again because my executive dysfunction has an attitude and I'm naturally self-destructive and compulsively want to punish my family at the same time for what I've percieved as a shitty upbringing. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules, and if I do I don't fucking follow them 🤷‍♀️

#silly kree kree #mental illness #medication #non-adherence #cymbalta #cornteen2020 #I know it's spelled quarantine #dumbass

[simkjrs]

msa ch3 asks

Anonymous said: I love how msa Izuku comes across as an honest to god cryptid: can't see his face, absolutely the kind of person you'd find at a gas station at 3 am, doesn't want attention, most likely distant cousins with Mothman

msa au is just me fulfilling all of my ‘protagonist is a cryptid’ dreams by making msa izuku as cryptid as possible. favorite character archetype: cryptid 

Anonymous said: so the msa au is my life right now thank u for that & I just read through the update twice so thank you for that x2 and I had to go back and look for Izuku and Kirishima's deal when it came up again and realized oh hey Kirishima agreed not to try and stop Izuku from leaving after 3 minutes and they didn't put a time limit on that i wonder if that'll come up again (& then my brain jumped to Izuku using that Forever. "we had a deal" every time it comes up. he cannot be stopped bc kiri promised)

got it in one!! izuku will abuse the wording of that deal forever if he can. good eye! 

Anonymous said: relatability of msa izuku: trying, doesnt trust feds, inability to sleep, ready to jump out 4th story window at a moments notice, anti-attention-

that’s msa izuku living the cryptid life of his dreams

Anonymous said: So wait you don't have to answer this if it's a spoiler but the collarbone blood tattoo™ is what's making deku's existence confusing to electronics, maybe?

yep, you got it! normally izuku is able to keep his presence from overtly affecting the electronics around him but scripting really starts messing with them. 

Anonymous said: quirkless msa deku anon and can i just say that deku looking eraserhead straight in the eye with lie detector policeman there and him saying "i don't have a quirk" and said policeman not detecting a lie is arguably the best thing i have thought of today.

tsukauchi:  tsukauchi: wh  tsukuachi: how did you even do all of [gestures at ch2 events] that without a quirk?  izuku: it’s a special talent of mine.

Anonymous said: I just read chapter 3 and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Your Izuku is who i aspire to be 24:7. Like everything he says makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. You did good. <3

haha we are all aspiring to izuku’s levels of impromptu sass. im glad you liked the new chapter! 

Anonymous said: I'm probs rlly late cuz I Love in GMT+1 which means 9 HOURS of difference but I love your writing. Man, dude, being from beyond time and space, you always manage to create the perfect harmony between comedy and suspense that has you giggling while trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Just. OH BOI.

this ask is so funny and sweet at the same time. i love you 

@arinrowan said: it's kind of ironic that msa!izuku is exactly the kind of person who would benefit from friendship with/interacting with canon izuku.

msa izuku would benefit from friendship in general but you’re right. he needs the kind of quiet but aggressive support that canon izuku gives 

Anonymous said: Cuz I'm trying to see if I can figure this out, by "told me about Kamino Ward", does that mean that Izuku tipped kirishima that that was where bakugou was? How did he know tho, did baku's spirit go to him and tell him that? Did izuku actually play a part in the rescue???? So many questions

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE... [spoiler alert] is actually ‘yes.’ more soon...

Anonymous said: when they start asking questions abt kamino ward at some point he just gets fed up and says "I JUST DID IT BECAUSE THE GODDAMN CAT WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT EVEN LIKE BAKUGOU" and the heroes are like :0? what if, we brought bakugou here?

izuku doesn’t even acknowledge that the kamino ward incident happens it’s like theyre just talking to a brick wall 

Anonymous said: Izuku has no control over his own sass anymore and it's glorious?? Says "that'll be 500 yen" and looks surprised at himslef, says "now it's 600 yen" and looks downright mortified, the sass is too much for his smol body, sassmaster izuku ftw

to quote @salvainterra, “i love the fact that izuku never stops even when he himself thinks he should stop.” izuku listens to every nonviolent intrusive thought that crosses his mind and it both incredible and unfortunate. izuku is no longer bound by human limits 

Anonymous said: msa izuku is the living embodiment of the "fuck this shit im out" song

ABSOLUTELY

Anonymous said: tbh when msa chapter 3 said that izuku slept 12 hours at nighteye's office, i was guessing that he would just passive aggressively sleep as much as possible for as long as they had him. won't give them the satisfaction of watching him wander around in his holding cell. hes in the middle of the interrogation and he puts his head down and goes to sleep (btw love your work!)

haha no he was just so exhausted he passed out for 12 hours. he hasn’t had a good nights sleep in weeks, as soon as all [gestures at ch2] this was over he just crashed 

Anonymous said: Wow the new chapter is great!! Stellar as always. I can't help but imagine what's going on from Izuku's point of view with the spirits. Am I the only one who thinks Aizawa's spirit was trying to apologize or something when Izuku talked about not being forced into anything?

there was definitely some spirit stuff happening... i will say that aizawa’s fox spirit is the one who asked/persuaded izuku to tell aizawa what was Up with his quirk 

Anonymous said: tbh i want to see them question izuku with a lie-detector quirk or something. like he'll say something positively ridiculous and everyone's gonna go "wait wtf he's telling the truth??!!?!!?!?!?!?"

hoho... well... buddy im not gonna say anything... 

Anonymous said: Hello! I found your works recently and have an insane amount of time in the past few days going through it all, cause is all beautiful. I want to scream at you about all of them but you only get so many words with this so I'll focus on msa rn and I read chapter 3 of msa last night and since then I've been switching laughing at Izuku's sass, crying cause Izuku has so much angst involved him and I just wanna hug him, and screaming cause whAT WAS THAT CLIFFHANGER?!! Just what. Thanks for ur works-A

THANKS, thats the kind of reaction i aim for when i write something. im super happy you liked it!! <3 

Anonymous said: Technically his quirk is "Being alive" or "Having a functioning body" but saying that would probably end with the same blank stares. As a side note, in the manga (and canon in general) they mentioned quirks are activated by the 'quirk factor energy' or whatever... Do you think that might mean that people who are quirkless just don't naturally have enough quirk energy to activate their latent quirks? it would also make some sense from an evolutionary standpoint, the glowing baby is from the first

generation that had enough of the qfe to actually manifest their quirk and after that generation the lowering number of quirkless could be attributed to those that have a deficit in the production of said energy and they might actually have latent quirks. The pinky toe missing could be the final mutation that causes them to have enough energy for their quirks to work.. The only issue with the theory I see is OFA not awakening latent quirks with it's energy jumpstart...

i think that’s a pretty good theory! it lines up pretty well w/ the worldbuilding in msa. as for afo, :3c

Anonymous said: Hey uh.. I know this is probably 100% non canon in your AU but I was re-reading your MSA fic and I misread something that made me think that Izuku is actually dead and his body is actually being run by his guardian spirit who possessed his body/took his place when he died... *sweats* Its a really weird.. dark idea but I thought it was sorta cool and you might like it..? um.. I'll just let myself out now

god yeah that would be so dark and everything in msa would actually be even worse than it was before 

Anonymous said: When deku explains nighteye's quirk i can only think of that's so raven.

theyre valid questions... 

Anonymous said: I spent my break reading the asks sent to you RE: chapter 3 of msa and I cannot stop fucking laughing over "look eraserhead dead in the eyes and tell him you don't have a quirk" thank GOD I'm supposed to be happy and smiley to everyone

honestly, this is conceptually such a powerful moment that i can’t not put it in the fic now 

Anonymous said: msa izuka finally get set free but kiri has started following him around. States its official hero business but really just wants to see what other "cool shit" izuka will do.

izuku pulls an Official Cryptid Move (tm) and disappears while walking thru a liminal space 

Anonymous said: i love that when aizawa starts asking about deku's quirk he's like, 'screw this i'm answering in riddles now'. this is such a great fic!!

Anonymous said: “It’s a secret,” he says. “A secret that no one knows, that one will suffer, and one-half loathes. Who knows if it’s true or not? The only thing we can confidently say is that it’s one thing that should not be.” Okay, so this is probably one of my favourite little scenes from your fic, partially because it sounds so ominous and badass and makes pretty much no sense. I loved your update, I was so tense the entire time I was reading it, but also giggling hysterically because /Izuku/ just - Izukus

hmm i sure do wonder where izuku got that riddle from... and what it means... 

this riddle is just izuku complaining about everything because as long as he’s in this situation, he might as well make it perfectly clear how unhappy he is about EVERYTHING. when else is he going to have an audience for him complaining about his various maladies 

Anonymous said: I think that a part thats particularly true to izuku's character is when kirishima makes the observation "damn maybe it IS good we arrested him so he can sleep" & izuku goes into a miniature coma for 12 hours bc being arrested presented the perfect opportunity for him to finally be able to sleep

nfdfsljndslfnjdf YEAH, everyone please stop this child it’s for his own good 

Anonymous said: Reading know what i've made by the marks on my hands is really terrifying when not in Izuku's pov because you now know how scary?? it is for some other characters and Izuku looks crazy-- but you know he's not because cheesus???? This kid???????? Honestly I love it so much, thanks for your amazing writing and I want you to know that I enjoy it a LOT.

that’s the goal... showing how weird and strange and bizarre izuku is from everyone else’s point of view... i loved the outside pov bc i got the chance to show how much of a cryptid izuku is, something that izuku himself isn’t even aware of and thus would not make it into his pov

Anonymous said: anon who ((still)) hasn't read bnha here. chapter 3 of msa is amazing. i cannot get over the sheer amount of sass found in such a smol boy. also kirishima is quickly becoming my favorite character because of how supportive and caring he is. kirishima/deku is apparently now something to add to my armada of ships. for that i thank you. also i cannot wait for deku to meet spirit!one for all. it will either be glorious or horrible.

haha im always happy to introduce someone to the wonders of kiri/deku!! its an extremely good friendship... and in my professional opinion everyone should get on it and make it the Hot New Thing. as for ofa, ;3c

Anonymous said: I just thought of this but during Aizawa's interrogation I could totally see his spirit just blatantly looking away from Izuku while Aizawa is asking about his benefactor.

HAHA YUP, i love izuku saying all kinds of stuff about spirits and no one can make any sense of it and meanwhile the spirits are trying to tell him to stop. but izuku cannot and will not be stopped from passive aggressively vaguing about them. he WILL get his complaints in if its the last thing he does 

Anonymous said: “I just fixed your entire Quirk, you cabbage.” I'm sorry but this. This is beautiful. I'M GOING TO GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE CABBAGE NOW

i was worried it was a bit of an overused classic internet insult but this is reassuring :p 

Anonymous said: every word that comes out of MSA Izuku's mouth is a blessing

but not to our three heroes and their intrepid intern sidekick... 

Anonymous said: Shit after the msa chapter i've got so many questions about Kamino. Did the rescue occur the same with minor variations? Is AfO still down? Did All Might fckin die? Has OfA been passed down yet? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

im uncreative and unoriginal with canon events so we’ll see.... we’ll see. 

Anonymous said: MSA CHAPTER 4! I just found it today and I'm already rereading it. I did not know how much I needed sassy dead inside izuku. I Love this fic so much! That cliff hanger was so good! I'm so exciting to see more of izuku's pov. I love kiri but like I can't get enough of this izuku and his thoughts and reactions to things. This is so well written. The pacing in chapter 2 was so good. It felt like a heist and then keeping the readers guessing with not knowing if he was gonna get away was so good!

thank you so much!! im really glad you enjoyed the story that much <3 <3 sassy izuku is a pleasure to write honestly, can’t wait to see him more in future chapters 

Anonymous said: Ohhhhhh you should update msa! It's so unbelievably good! I love the interaction between kirishima and izuku! Like I'm so excited to learn more about kamino ward and how that's gonna affect izuku going free and keeping his identy safe

:3c 

Anonymous said: In chalter 2 of the msa au, did Kirishima think anything about how Deku said "I swear to every spirit I know"?

he dismissed it as a kind of weird, niche turn of phrase. like oh, guess this guy believes in spirits and junk, but im more worried about literally every other weird thing he’s done today 

Anonymous said: So does MSA!Izuku always mess with attempts to record his presence? I feel like this would be kind of a major problem when it comes to getting himself a school ID or the like. (He's going to school somewhere, so he must have a school ID stashed somewhere). You know, they could potentially use this to track his identity down. They can try contacting schools to see if any had issues with one student needing to have an excessive number of photo retakes.

nope, usually izuku can keep it under control! the blood sigil on his collarbone is what really let him passively affect the electronics.

Anonymous said: Ok so msa!Izuku says "he shouldn't" exists, and when I first read that I was really confused, do you mean he shouldn't exist in the way that he sees things he shouldn't, or that he literally should not exists and Inko has no freaking clue where he came from/he was not a planned child?

yes to the first proposal. other than that, spoilers... 

#I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS BEFORE I FINISHED ABORT ABORT ABORT #ok i finished we're all good now. #ask #ask compilation #msa stuff

[lolbtsaus]

Youtuber!Jungkook as a Father

And last but not least is the second half of the Busan line, our amazing maknae who literally fucking took Jimin’s money straight out of that hat I shouldn’t be surprised bc he’s a walking meme as is but it still made me laugh so much like he fucking t o o k o f f he ran like his life depended on it I fucking love him, Jeon Jungkook aka kookie

For the original youtuber!Jungkook post, click here, for his proposal, click here and for father!kook, all of the father related posts are here

There is also the drabble Ice Cream (here) which features youtuber!kook as a father but in drabble form instead of AU

For everyone that hasn’t read the original father!kook post, he has twins, a boy and a girl aka his mini mes

Just a quick summary of youtuber!kook, he has a gaming channel (definitely plays Overwatch on there or on streams) 

His personal life has always been pretty private like his viewers know he’s in a relationship but they don’t know a wh ol e lot about it

They know he loves you, they know you two have been together for years, they know you live together but they don’t know the really really deep things

It does take him a minute to talk about the bbys on camera, he waits for it to really sink in bc he can’t get used to saying the words “I’m gonna be a father” and every time he says it, he wants to both cry and dance around

He still does tear up a bit when he makes the announcement video but he also gets really proud and he gets this big smile on his face

His viewers get updates here and there, it isn’t really on a schedule but he makes sure to mention it at least once a month to keep everyone updated

He can’t even make a gaming video on the day he finds out he’s gonna be having twins he literally just sits there and stares off into the distance with his mouth hanging open bc w h a t

“I’m...two there are two”

He's already pumped up about one but now he knows there are two and he’s even more hyped up

Two cribs, two sets of clothes, two sets of everything

It takes him like an hour to realize that even though this entire time he'd been expecting one, he's got two bc that's like wait what how did this happen there are t w o he gets two for the price of one is this a dream

But after it's sunk in, he's bouncing off of walls and he's so fucking excited and it's easy to see his mood change in videos

He’s always been happy in his video but his smile is just a bit wider and his eyes are brighter and he laughs at literally everything bc he’s the happiest he’s even been

When the bbys are born, he posts a video from the hospital explaining that he's not gonna be able to film any gaming videos for a minute bc he's got two very (v e r y) small versions of him that need his attention and he doesn't wanna leave you to be the only one caring for them

And he doesn't wanna miss any of the early moments either like when they discover they have toes or fingers, that’s shit’s priceless

He stills films some videos here and there but he doesn't game as long as he normally does, it's more of a 5-10 minute video rather than his usual 15-20

At first, he tries to keep shit private with them like he doesn’t show their faces on camera (but he still films a l o t of stuff just for the two of you and your families/friends to watch) but he talks about them a lo t and it’s so easy to see he’s in love

“My daughter really loves it when I sing to her, it’s the easiest way to get her to fall asleep”

“My son’s favorite napping place is my chest so his naps have become my naps bc there’s not much moving around when that happens”

“My kids are cute, I made cute bbys gotta admit”

The first time his viewers see them is on his Instagram/Snapchat/Twitter, he posts a couple pictures of them on there just bc he can’t resist

But the first time they’re in a video/stream is when they’re a couple weeks old and bby boy starts crying while kook’s filming so he has to stop and go check on him (he was alright, just hungry)

What ends up happening is bby boy gets fed and then kook is trying to get him to fall back asleep for his nap and bby boy ends up falling asleep in kook’s arms and he can’t put him down now, he’s too comfortable and he’s worried if he puts bby boy back in his crib or gives him to you that he’ll wake up again and be grumpy bc he got woken up so quickly

So kook decides to show him in the video during his outro

Once he’s been shown, kook decides it’s only fair to show bby girl bc she’s his angel too so the next outro features her

As the kids get older, they get featured more and more

Of course, the older they get, the more curious they are and the more they start to figure things out so when they see him gaming, they’re gonna wanna see what he’s doing

Streams are basically just the bbys sitting next to kook and asking him what he’s doing can they do it too can they sit with him

He just can’t turn down those puppy dog eyes it’s so hard to say no when you have not one but TWO lil toddlers who are just so cute and tiny and they literally just wanna be apart of whatever it is he’s doing so he always ends up saying yes

They sit on his lap and he may let them play a bit but they mainly just wanna chill out with him and find out why he’s laughing so much so they can laugh too

It becomes a staple to see them in the background of his videos, normally coloring or playing with their toys or snacking on something while watching their shows

“I’m in a boss battle nothing can distract me rn I need laser like focus I’m so close he’s nearly dead”

“I love you dad!!!"

“This is the one time I can die in a game so close to beating the boss without getting mad, I love you too lil man”

Their styles are pretty similar to his own since he gets a say in how they dress and while he does compromise with you on their outfits, how can you say no to bby jeans have you ever seen bby jeans have you seen how cuTE THEY ARE

Sometimes they have similar outfits, matching outfits, sometimes they have completely different outfits but one thing that always matches is their lil bracelet

Kook buys them a bracelet every time they grow out of the old one and it’s always the same bracelet, just in the next size up

It’s a thin gold chain with a “J” (for Jeon) pendant/charm and tbh they could be twenty and he’s still out here buying them new bracelets when their old ones get too tight

Gets them to wear his merch when he makes new shirts/hats/etc.

He thinks it’s s o fucking funny and adorable to see his bbys in shirts made to be baggy on him like it looks like a dress on them and he’s so in love

His favorite video he films with them is a video he makes on his birthday

They get him to wear a lil birthday hat and you blow up a bunch of balloons and have them in his office (where he records)

The cards the bbys make for him are hanging up on the wall and bby boy in his lap and bby girl is in yours and all of you are playing a family friendly game together (probably some Little Big Planet or something along those lines)

The bbys are so giggly the entire time and kook’s favorite sounds are them laughing so it’s just the entire video is so amazing to him bc what could be better than having all of his loves in one video the dog even makes an appearance his family’s all right there

He’s got games, he’s got bbys, he’s got you, he’s got the dog taking a nap on the couch in the background, what more could he ask for he’s so fucking content

Every time the bbys laugh at something, he has to smile, h a s to 

It’s just such a light hearted video, everyone’s laughing and smiling and everyone’s happy and at the end, you bring out the cake and you and the bbys sing happy birthday to him and he’s so :D the entire time 

He could rewatch that video over and over and over and still be happy bc he knows he’s v v loved and he’s so fucking happy

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