#I wish I had a cheese grater. I must get one

[vinceaddams]

a fun thing you can do when you're a grownup is buy a bunch of ingredients and make 6 litres of spaghetti sauce in a big pot and divide it up into a bunch of containers and put it in the freezer!

#food #I used 4 cans of tomatoes and 2 small zucchini and a pound and a half of ground beef #and 3 bell peppers and a bulb and a half of garlic and 2 thingies of mushrooms and I think 5 onions? #I'm spaghetti sauce rich! I can have easy spaghetti occasionally for many weeks to come! #I was going to make it yesterday when I bought most of the ingredients #but then I realized the 2 cans of tomato I had in the cupboard were probably not enough #highly recommend making a lot of a freezable thing and freezing it! future me is going to be glad to have so much sauce! #cooking #I wish I had a cheese grater. I must get one

[lahotelbellamuerte]

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝟭𝟵𝟲𝟯 - issue #6. more exciting family events

series masterlist ! current: more exciting family events ! next: a little blood

pairing; five x eight warning: language, blood, killing, cliche moments word count: 3.2k notes; don't sue me i like moment.

NOT LONG UNDER ELEANOR’S BOOT, LILA BEGAN TO FIDGET. But the blonde wasn't keen on letting her go just yet.

"My father taught me well, I wouldn't struggle," Eleanor taunted as the girl continued to grunt.

"You got a good nose," She complimented Five as he figured out she was behind all this.

"You know planting her in the psych ward, taking advantage of my simpleton brother, that was smart," he compliments her back.

"Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," she said with a small laugh.

Eleanor looked up at the, "She's your—"

"—daughter. Yes, and she's my only one, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't crush her windpipe," the woman said giving Eleanor a smile.

Reluctantly the girl removed her foot off her, with a nod from Five. 

"Also cute outfit, the whole white on white," The Handler responded making motions at her little outfit, "The whole school girl thing must be his thing huh?"

Eleanor huffed but didn't answer, rather she stood by Five. Something that made him sigh inwardly, the Eight he knew wouldn't let the woman talk all over like this.

Lila stood from the ground and got close to the duo, "I will enjoy killing you both someday," she threatened.

"Lila, darling, would you give us a minute, please?" The Handler interrupted.

"Yes the grown-ups need to talk," Five commented watching the woman walk away far enough to where she couldn't hear them.

"Do you like Jazz Five, Eight?" she asked the two.

Five lifted his hand before Eleanor could answer, "I'd rather lick a cheese grater," he commented.

The Handler gave the boy an obnoxious smile, "Jazz is like a beautiful woman," she began reaching to touch Eleanor's blonde hair, "Complex, emotional, hard to please," she comments running her gloved hand over her soft face, "She doesn't just give it to you...she makes you work for it." she says now standing behind Eleanor putting her hands on her shoulders.

Five shifted uncomfortably as the woman used Eleanor as a way to talk about nonsense, "I'm really hoping you're going somewhere with this."

Her hands still on the blonde's shoulders, "Under my leadership, the Commission would sound more like....jazz." she comments lifting the blonde stands and letting them fall on her shoulders.

Five looked at the woman, "And what about the board of directors?" he mentioned to the woman.

"Well, that's where you and darling jazz over here come in," she said putting her head on the blonde's shoulder.

"Nope," he said, answering for the both of them, "No, it isn't."

Moving her head she wrapped an arm around Eleanor's shoulders, "In exchange for the assassination of the board, I'm willing to get you and your family out of this timeline and back to 2019 where you belong."

"What about world war III that's about to kick off in a few days?" asked Eleanor, looking at the woman next to her.

The Handler turned and poked her nose, "Well once you and your siblings are gone, that goes away."

"And the Apocalypse in 2019?" he asked.

"That too," she replied with a smile.

"I distinctly remember you telling me that that apocalypse had to happen, that it was supposed to happen." Five said bringing back the words he told her.

"Back then I was toeing the company line, but once I'm in charge, we can riff," she said her hands on Eleanor again.

"Jazz," he said, his eyes flickering to Eleanor, now he was mad that it was the image of jazz.

Five paced looking over at the blonde wishing she could help him, but with her state, all she was, was a blank piece of a paper with feelings. 

"What about the board of directors? I mean no one knows who they are," Five told them.

"Correct," The Handler answered walking away from the Blonde, "But once every fiscal quarter, they get together for a board meeting."

"Where?" he asked curiously.

"The question is when. They meet somewhere in the timeline but never in the same place twice. The exact location and date of these board meetings are the most closely-guarded secret in the Commission." The Handler explained.

"But you know where it's gonna be, don't you?" he asked her, knowing all too well.

"Would I be any good at what I do, if I didn't?" she said looking at the two.

"Eight, lets' go, I need to think about it," he said, pulling Eleanor as he walked away.

"You know it's so sad seeing Little Eight not being able to think for herself, I wonder what she would say," she said loudly, "And remember doomsday is just around the corner. I'm your only option," she finished.

"Not yet you aren't," he replied, jumping with Eleanor.

The two began heading back to Morty's but stopped when they were delivered a card.

"Magnolia? Interesting," Eleanor hummed as she saw the street name.

And so the two set off to walk to their destination, side by side.

"Who was the woman?" Eleanor asked suddenly as they were walking off to their destination.

"A woman we called The Handler, you hated her," Five said as he had his hands in his pockets.

"Why did I hate her?" she asked curiously.

"While we worked for her, she tended to hit on me a lot, and you as my wife, then, didn't like that," He replied, not thinking too much about it.

"I don't think anyone would like that if you were together," she said with a smile.

Five didn't say anything for a while, but from the corner of his eyes looked at her, "You know, you're different," he said.

Eleanor hummed, "A bad difference?" she asked.

"I don't know yet," he confirmed.

And so the rest of the way they were silent, not speaking. Or looking at each other. Finally, the two arrived at Southland Life, where the card had taken them. The two then walked in, and up the stairs to the elevator. Eleanor leaned forward and pressed the button waiting as it came to their floor. Not too long after the elevator dinged and the two stepped in, pressing the appropriate button, then the doors began to close. But before they could fully close a hand reaches the door open.

"Wait up," came the voice of Diego as he stepped in going around the two. Then the heels clicking was heard.

"Hold it," called the voice of Allison as she stepped in and Eleanor and Five moved to make way for Klaus and Vanya who walked in. As they thought everyone was gone.

Luther squeezed in, "Excuse me."

"Good. We're all here," he said giving Eleanor a small smile as he was squished closer to her because of Luther's ginormous body.

The elevator dinged and the doors closed, the blonde looked at Five who was face to face with her and she smiled back.

Luther then grunted as he watched the number go up, from behind him, Allison sniffs and makes a grossed-out face. Klaus followed, and then everyone in the elevator made a face. Eleanor and Five reached their faces in an attempt to block out the smell.

"God Luther," Eleanor wheezed out.

"Sorry, I'm nervous," He shrugged.

As the elevator dinged again the siblings rushed out the elevator not standing for the smell anymore.

The group suddenly walked towards the table, "When dad gets here I'll do the talking," Five said as he pulled out a chair for Eleanor who was right beside him.

"I have a few questions myself," Diego said.

"Hey you don't want to scare Reggie now," Eleanor scoffed as she crossed her legs on the chair watching the siblings take their seats, "He could be our ticket home, as Five says," she told him.

"No, we need to figure out why he's planning to kill the president," he said to the blonde as he walked over and plopped next to her.

"This is a matter of life and death, you imbecile," Five insulted his brother, but stopped when the blonde gave him a look.

"Okay, yeah, maybe we should take turns talking. Yeah?" Vanya said, reaching to another table, "Here, whoever has got this conch shell gets to talk," she said as she lifted the large shell.

"Vanya, we don't have time for a debate, okay?" Five started but were cut off by Allison who grabbed the shell out of Vanya's hands.

"Maybe I should lead. We all know I'm a better public speaker than the rest," she said.

"Or you know me? I'm literally the one that knows this man," Eleanor spoke up looking at the siblings.

"Ugh, of course, Daddy's girl," Diego scoffed, “You shouldn’t even be here with your memory issues.” 

Eleanor stood from her chair and cocked her head, "Oh what Jealous? Based on what all you guys say about me, I've been a favorite even when I was part of this Academy." she told Diego mockingly.

"I regret sleeping with you!" Diego seethed taking a step forward towards the girl.

But the blonde didn't back down, "Honey the only reason we slept together was because of me. I clearly have the bigger dick between you and me," She laughed taunting him.

"I won't have a problem punching a girl—"

He didn't get to finish as a first flew straight at him, causing him to stumble, "Oh what was that? I didn't hear over my fist," she spat at him, “Try me Diego, I eat boys like you breakfast,” she finished in a hiss. 

Before any more could be said the doors burst open, and in came a quiet Reginald. The siblings watched as he set his stuff down, and sat, the other siblings following in suit.

His eyes traveled to the table and landed on a familiar blonde, but said nothing to her.

"Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have, on numerous occasions, called me...."

Before he could finish Klaus pulled the chair next to him, "Hey, pop. How's it hangin'."

"...Dad..." he finished, "My reconnaissance tells me you're not CIA, not KGB, certainly not MI5, so who are they, Eleanor?" The man continued as he now formally addressed the blonde he knew. Fitting the one they didn’t want talking, was addressed first.

"They including me apparently are your children, from the future," she told the man before her, "You adopted all seven of us and trained us to be an elite family to stop the end of the world. Called them—us The Umbrella Academy." she finished based on all the information she gathered.

"Why on earth would I adopt Seven—"

"Eight," Allison corrected, "One of us isn't here."

"Dead," Diego confirmed.

Seems Eleanor forgot the other sibling.

"Yeah, ba ba ba ba, enough of that now," said Klaus, turning around to what seemed to be Ben's ghost. He turned around and signaled to continue.

"Regardless, what would possess me to adopt seven—"

"Eight—" Allison again corrected.

"I counted out Eleanor," the man stated.

"We all have special abilities," Five replied looking at the old man.

"Special? In what sense?" He asked, a bit more curious.

"In the superpower sense," Luther answered.

"Call me old-fashioned, but I'm a stickler for pesky little things called evidence," He started looking at his siblings, "show me."

"Everybody wants to see powers all of sudden," Allison scoffs, taking a sip of her drink. Of course getting bothered by a man who does’t even know them. 

"We're not circus animals okay?" Luther told the man seriously, "We're not gonna bounce balls on our noses and clap our hands like a seal for your entertainment." he continued as he made the actions with his hands.

But Diego was quick to whip out a knife that went around, Reginald's head.

The man said nothing and he began writing notes in his book.

Everyone leaned forward as he did so, "What are you writing?" Diego asked the man.

"You are zero for two young man," Reginald said and caused Diego to lunge forward but Five jumped in front of him to stop him. "Stop!" Five whispered harshly at him.

"Now that is interesting," Reginald commented to Five who had appeared by Diego. 

"All right, uh, quick rundown," Five began, "Luther: super strength," he began as he pointed at the large man, "Klaus: can commune with the dead," he said pointing the man on the left of Reginald, "Allison: can rumor anyone to do anything," He explains as he sits down.

"Except she never used it," Diego scoffed feeling his sister’s ability was a joke, 

Allison gave him a face, "I heard a rumor you punched yourself in the face," she said and watched as Diego's eyes went white and socked himself hard on the nose, the second time today his nose being hurt. 

"And you?" Reginald asked, looking at the girl next to him.

"Uh, maybe we don't take Vanya for a test run," Luther chuckled.

"Oh yeah, that's probably not a good idea," Klaus agreed

"It's fine," Vanya finally spoke up, "I can handle it."

"Handle it?" Allison asked a little afraid, "Last time you handled it, you blew up the moon."

They all became afraid as she began concentrating as she tapped her cup with a fork resonating a large high pitched noise. And she used to explode the fruit on everyone.

"Impressive," said Eleanor smiling at the girl who returned the smile.

Reginald whipped the fruit off himself and looked over at Eleanor who was picking pineapple off her blazer.

"And you Eleanor? You said you too are from the future," he asked now looking at her.

Five-spoke up for since she didn't really know much about anything, "She was your darling child," he began looking over at Eleanor, "Telekinesis, telepath, she could open portals to almost wherever and whenever she wants, and something we call The Force."

"The Force?" He asked curiously.

"If you thought Vanya was strong, she began to glow all sorts of colors, she was the one who had the power to shut Vanya's powers off. But it seems when she arrived here her memory was wiped and she couldn't use or remember them." Five answered.

The man looked over at Eleanor and somehow he had no problem believing that. Something about the way she carried herself. He always thought there was something blocking her but now he knew why. She was a powerful being. He feared someone would take them sooner or later. 

"Look, we know that you're involved in a plot to assassinate the president," Diego suddenly spoke up.

Eleanor stood from her seat, "Diego," she hissed but stopped when Reginald motioned her to sit.

"You were recently hospitalized, isn't that correct? You still appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia," he stated towards the man.

"Am I?" He asked, reaching in his pocket, and taking out a photo and handing it to him, "That's you. That's two days from now on the grassy knoll at the exact spot the president's gonna get shot.

"Well, I suppose you've solved it. You single-handedly unearthed my nefarious plot. Is that what you want to hear?" Reginald spoke towards Diego who looked proud to solve his crime.

"You fancy yourself a do-gooder? The last good man who will save us from our descent into corruption and conspiracy? This is a fantastic delusion. The sad reality is that you're a desperate man, tragically unaware of his own insignificance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. More succinctly a man in over his head." Regionals spoke his words, each sharper than the next. Breaking down Diego with every word, to the point he was backing sitting on his chair with tears in his eyes.

"You're wr....wrong...." Diego stuttered as a tear fell cleanly from his eyes.

"Told you not to," Eleanor said leaning back on her chair with arms crossed.

"Look, forget about the president, we have a catastrophic war coming in five days. We need to figure out how to stop it," Five-spoke up moving their attention from Diego.

"War? Men will always be at war with each other," Reginald figured, and in a way he's right.

"No, this isn't just some war. I'm talking about a doomsday. The end of the world." Five responded to the man seriously.

"Well, you're the special ones, aren't you? Why don't you band together and do something about it?" He said to the group.

When suddenly Klaus' body went shaky and his arms in the air, catching everyone's attention.

"Is he having a seizure?" Allison asked suddenly.

"Overdose probably," Diego replied, not worried, trying to get himself together after Reginald’s words. 

He was shaking and he turned to the man, "I'm..."

Impatient he looked at him, "Out with it boy,"

"...Ben...." he gasped and dropped to the floor.

"Well, I have seen enough," said Reginald picking up his things and getting up.

Luther spoke up, "I–" but the man was leaving, he slammed his fists on the table, tearing open his shirt, "Look what you did to me!"

Eleanor snorted and slapped her hand over her mouth, at the moment. What a way to make a statement that didn’t need to be heard. 

Reginald turned to the man but didn't answer, rather he turned to the girl and Five.

"Eleanor, care to bring the one in shorts, for a word?" he said and turned around walking off. The two got up and followed the older man to the bar.

"Reggie, this is Five," she introduced stepping away as she took the time to grab her drink and move off the counter leaving them to talk. Not really caring, the young girl drank happily from her cup, that was when she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned to see Reginald.

"Hi Reggie," she smiled.

"Now you listen to me, Eleanor," he stated, "He and this family of yours are going to need you."

"If you're talking about powers," she paused looking down at her feet, "I don't even remember my past," she finished looking at him sadly.

The man smiled, putting his hand on her shoulder, "Something tells me you will soon. I bid my farewell, my child," He told her seriously.

Eleanor nodded and pulled the man in for a hug, "Thank you for everything," she whispered as the man hugged her back. 

With that, the man left the blonde and Five alone, as the two knew they had to accept whatever deal this was.

"You don't have to go with me," he told her, not knowing how well she would react to this.

"You're stuck with me now, old man," she smirked, grabbing his hand.

He looked down at their hands and nodded, "You know you're technically older than me now," he mentioned as he jumped out of the location.

Soon enough they were knocking on bright green doors, and they opened to reveal a very shiny woman.

"Ah, just in time for a nightcap," she said happily staring at the two, as she offered them drinks.

"To be clear, we take out the board, you get me and my family home. No more doomsday, no more apocalypse. Is that correct?" Five said to the woman who put down the drinks and began walking to her bed as she lay on it.

"That's the deal," she confirmed.

"Then we're in," he said as Eleanor nodded next to him.

The woman reached and handed them a piece of paper, The Lonely Lodge Inn. Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1982.

#five hargreeves x oc #five hargreaves x reader #five hargreeves #aidan gallagher #the umbrella academy #season two #eight hargreeves

[gwenbrightly]

The Sea Calls Me Home (pt 4)

I have a good feeling about today, Nyad says encouragingly. They’re returning to the surface again. Nya’s lost count of how many times they’ve been here at this point.

You say that every day, Nyad, Nya points out. Her companion smiles and shrugs.

And every day you make it a little bit further.

I guess… Nya allows with a sigh. She knows Nyad is right, but she wishes the evidence of that truth was a little more noticeable. So what if she lasted 5 seconds longer yesterday than the day before? 5 seconds isn’t much in the grand scheme of things.

What Nya really wants is to be done with constantly trying and failing to successfully unmerge with the Endless Sea (which totally doesn’t make her feel sucky at all, for the record). She yearns to see her family again and that can’t happen until she beats this. Or, if the endeavor kills her, until Kai does something undeniably stupid and gets everyone else killed and they all meet up in the Departed Realm. Which is… a very morbid thought. Moving on.

Nya turns to head closer to shore once more. Alright, let’s do this, she calls to Nyad.

Together, they make the trek, just like they do every day. As they do, Nya goes over everything in her head, trying to pint point what’s causing her so much trouble. Nyad makes transitioning from water to land look so easy, but it’s not. She must be missing something… right?

I believe in you, Nyad says eventually, derailing Nya’s train of thought, do not let the sea win this time. It is not good for its ego.

Nya gives a weak laugh. I’ll try to remember that, she says, not quite sure if the sea is actually capable of having an ego. It’s hard to tell when Nyad is being serious and when she is speaking more… artistically.

Good, Nyad replies. They both fall silent as Nya begins the long walk towards the sand shore in the distance. Wave after wave; step after step. The sensation of growing solid, human, has become less of a shock to her, now. If only it wasn’t a prelude to a much more unpleasant sensation.

Nya braces herself for the next stage of the transition. Only a few more steps until… do it for your family, she tells herself, do it for Kai, and Lloyd, a-and… Jay… The cold hits her first, then the waves around her grow more intense, louder. Deafening. And finally, the sea seems to develop claws. Like always it refuses to relinquish its grip on her. In her moments of clarity, Nya has come to liken the resulting pain to what she imagines it would feel like to be mauled by a tiger while being shredded by a cheese grater.

Gritting her teath, Nya forces herself to keep going. Not this time. Not. This. Time. She says over and over. Maybe if she focuses on something other than the pain? It’s worth a try. She pictures the monastery grounds at the height of spring. Cherry blossom season – one of her favorite times of the year. Aside from Christmas, of course.

Jay is always doing cute things like putting flowers in her hair when she’s not looking or writing little messages for her with stray petals . The air always feels so fresh. The atmosphere is somehow calmer… calm.

Nya’s next step comes easier. The rushing in her ears begins to die down.  She returns to her happy place. Surrounded by family. Loved. Home. The sea called to her when it needed her the most, but now it’s time to leave. Time to find herself again.

Suddenly, the image of the monastery disappears from her vision, replaced by the very real sight of dry land stretching before her. With an elated gasp, Nya staggers onto the sand before sprawling face first onto it. Her lungs burn and her muscles feel like they’ve had a run in with a homicidal acupuncturist, but that’s okay.

“… made it,” she mutters, spitting out a mouthful of sand and seawater, “take that, you stupid ocean!”

A particularly large wave rolls towards her and she frantically scrambles away from it. Nyad laughs, saying, “I told you so.”

Nya coughs up a bit more sand as she tries to remember exactly how one goes about breathing. She can taste the salt in the air, feel the sun’s warmth on her skin, and it has never felt so good.

#ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #my fics #the sea calls me home #nOt my best work #I really don't know where I'm going with this- #but please enjoy anyway??? #Please?

[millepara]

CiaoFes post... if there’s any significant news I’ll put it in a tidy tagged post of its own (edit: there was nothing), this is just my stupid liveblog or w/e

I meant to post about ciaofes in the tag but I kept putting it off bc it was so far in the future, and I was so tired, but then suddenly it was today and I was busy and couldn’t watch it till now. whoops.

there’s way too many hours of ciaofes to watch the whole thing even though I do generally like this kind of stuff, so I’m just skipping ahead to the prichan part (first in the lineup... a testament to its greater popularity over aikatsu?? probably.)

oh, what I wouldn’t give for a single one of these five squeaky girls to speak in their normal voice... I can’t tell them apart when they speak at the same time

ok I will admit I’m excited about the mymelo/kuromi prichan id!! literally everything about this season rubs me the wrong way like a cheese grater directly on my skin but this one single thing is cute. gotta try to get a matching set for Biscuit and Milk.

they said they are showing a “special version” of last week’s all-MC performance, but I didn’t see it (beyond gifs on tumblr ofc) so I don’t know what’s special about it.... I’m sorry

AHHH Prima Donna Memorial!! one of my fav songs to sing to myself around the house.... 💖  BUT isn’t this just the same performance as in the pripara/chan movie? (which is... another thing I didn’t see... ;;;; god this makes me sound like I hate pretty series but I swear I don’t, I like it as much as I like aikatsu, I just still have a hard time liking prichan specifically when it’s abt anyone other than Ring Marry or Meltic Star or Oshama Tricks, I guess) anyway if anyone actually reads this and you know the difference between these performances I would be delighted if you’d share your knowledge w me

they’ve brought Pretty Rhythm back to Prism Stone Harajuku. this is just the same news they announced a bit ago though. wish they brought it back to Osaka too (；ω；) I don’t even need a postcard for playing I just want to see Otoha again

breaking news!! there’s a new character coming to prichan...it’s Yui isn’t it. ah yeah it is. but I LOVE Yui so YEAH!!!! YUI!! I MISSED YOU

and the end. now to aikatsu planet!! excited to see literally anything new, any tiny shriveled scrap of new content they deign to throw our way

Narumi (who plays Rose) is so cool. her outfit sucks though (imo)

but no one’s outfit sucks more than Sala’s...... hate that coat. must be a huge pain for whoever has to wash it every time.

lmao all of these girls are in the same big room but there’s a huge lag in btw each of them speaking as if they’re all zooming in. did they practice for this at all. did they practice remotely so now they’re including the lag in the final product 

there’s also a lot of people talking faintly in the background!! my kryptonite... this is agony

now the game pv is playing in the background on top of the distant mumbling and starts/stops and actual on-purpose talking!! this is truly an aural hellscape!!!

(turns the sound up to try to hear starry planet speaking) (gets my eardrums blasted out when they abruptly switch to the hosting crew whose audio is working correctly) there is no love without suffering

the aipura cabinet sure is cute though. I like the glowing border

for god’s sake please give this adult woman a chair to sit in while playing this game instead of making her crouch in front of it like an animal

omg when she (Yumecchi? I should’ve watched the intro lol) did the mirror-in high five, she was like “to think I had this kind of power...” haha that’s so cute

Yumecchi (?), on the idol’s start dresses: “oh, they’re in their underwear” LMAO

yay, they didn’t have to go back to the start dress. that’s nice. though I still do wish that your ability to wear a darn dress in your darn idol performance didn’t depend on making someone else lose (also the entire gimmick of the game, so not something that could possibly be changed before release....)

oh, the other comedian is going to play now. what’s her name. really should’ve watched the intro huh

I hate the word “Bloomy” so much. it sounds like something you cough up into a tissue

they switch back to starry planet, the mic immediately releases a feedback screech

no offense but this meltyhouse bear is so ugly. why does it have hips coming out of its armpits. an abomination

BUT that Ruli illustration is so cute!!!! I can’t wait to see the rest of the characters in that style!! I’d love to know the who the artist is 💕

they switch back to starry planet. Ruli’s actress is talking furiously. not a single sound leaves her mouth. is she... lipsyncing... the ad copy?? my mind flounders for an explanation, finding only this absurd suggestion. seconds later the audio comes back from break and blows my eardrums out again

WHY does brand mascot Meruri.. Melury... Merly...’s plush have its legs sticking up in the air like a cat with an intestinal worm infection

ah yes, that aionpa collab with my fav anime cafe anion that I’ve been bitterly trying to avoid bc they aren’t bringing it to Osaka and obviously I can’t go to it in Tokyo in the middle of an actual pandemic, much less... a cafe. any cafe. excellent.

the Happy Planet performance is just a repeat of the BNP fes one! time to pack up and go home.

so, a recap of what was new: the coord thing hellohimawarihana posted about, the Meltyhouse mascot’s crimes and sins, and the 10 seconds you could see that pink moth critter’s coord at the end of the second aipura playthrough. not much! but something, for sure.

#a summary: watch the pretty all friends performance. skip everything else #actually watch the aipura gameplay too if you understand any japanese bc they were funny. but skip everything else

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #205: Shadow of the Claw!

March, 1981

"... And the CLAW shall inherit the Earth!” isn’t even what the villain plan is, come on, cover copy person.

Yellow Claw was going to have a bunch of kids, make them fight to the death, and then the super child was going to inherit the Earth.

The actual cover is neat though. I like how all the red draws attention to the center where red is not.

Yes, I am good at talk about art.

Anyway, last time on Avengers: a woman named Shu Han who had been brought to Yellow Claw’s island to be one of Yellow Claw’s many wives (despite being a genius physicist athlete and could honestly be a superhero in her own right with those skills) sent out a distress signal which was eventually received by the Avengers. A lot of goofy stuff happened, Vision got captured like a dingus, Wasp did none things, a cyborg slime kraken was fought, and eventually Yellow Claw was like ‘whaaaat Shu Han doesn’t love me? Fine, begone!’ and told the Avengers to gtfo his island so he can start living his harem anime protagonist self-insert fic and also take over the world.

Which brings us to now.

After his dingus-like capture, Vision needs to be recharged because photons are his sweet calories and he never diets.

In fact, weirdly, he’s hungrier than usual this time. Sixty-seven whole additional solar units more than usual hungrier.

I don’t know how much a solar unit is. Even as a ballpark. But Iron Man finds it noteworthy so I’m noting it.

Meanwhile, in the only one person sitting room, Wasp retcons some actual actions into the last issue so that her entire screentime wasn’t pointless.

Maybe I should learn to be more patient on multiple part stories.

No. No, its the comic writers who are wrong.

Anyway, while Wasp was spying on Yellow Claw, she noticed some weird equipment in the research lab, including a lot of tubes filled with odd, sparkly mist.

Unfortunately, that’s all she managed to see before Yellow Claw told the Avengers to gtfo his island.

Which leaves them without much they can do about Yellow Claw.

Sure, they suspect he’s up to something. Hell, Iron Man would even admit that they know he’s up to something.

But being able to prove it is a different matter. And since Yellow Claw’s island is in disputed waters, moving without proving could lead to political fallout.

Captain America: “Iron Man is right. If we had proof that the Yellow Claw poses a global threat, international law would allow us to investigate. But as it is, we don’t have a single, tangible clue to--”

And then Jarvis walks in and tells them that the Yellow Claw’s top assistant, Dr. William Liu, is here to speak with them.

The timing this man has. Outstanding.

They scan the man to make sure he’s not walking in with a bunch of laser guns stuffed down his pants and then let him in.

And Dr. Liu pleads for the Avengers to help him. Cap asks why they should help or even trust one of Yellow Claw’s men.

Dr. Liu: “I could no longer live with the horrible nature of the master’s plan! That is why I secretly left the island, hoping that my absence would go unnoticed until I could reach you, and tell you of-- AAAGGHH!”

He doesn’t get to finish his warning because his crotch suddenly explodes.

I don’t know how else to describe it.

Apparently Yellow Claw rigged his assistant to explode in case of treachery or just for funsies. A barely alive, crotch exploded apparently a cyborg all along Dr. Liu realizes that Yellow Claw must have remotely activated his destruct code.

He gives the Avengers some coordinates in Australia and begs them to stop Yellow Claw.

Dr. Liu: “... Y-you must stop... the Claw! Y-you’re the only hope for... the children...!”

And then he dies. And based on panels, it seems like his chest exploded more than his crotch. His pants are intact.

This was the proof the Avengers needed to act, so as soon as Dr. Liu’s body is carried away by ambulance, the Avengers prepare to leave.

But Jarvis finds a note on Vision’s door begging leave from the mission.

Vision: “I regret that I have not yet recuperated to the point where I may participate in Avengers’ activities. Please understand. I do not wish to be disturbed.”

What an oddly formal ‘I’m sick, don’t come in’ letter to pin to your door.

Iron Man is perplexed since he oversaw Vision’s recharge himself and the solar gas tank should be full. But Scarlet Witch says that Vision has his reasons to do things and they should just carry on without him.

So off they go in the Quinjet.

But as soon as they take off, Vision goes to take the second Quinjet.

Why, he’s not sick in his room at all!

Hours later, the Avengers arrive in Australia, of course passing over a kangaroo, or else how would we know its Australia?

And at the coordinates poor exploded Dr. Liu gave them, they find a cave. And in the cave they find a secret base where that sparkle gas Wasp saw being loaded onto three missiles.

Y’know. I think I gave Vision too much shit last time for his stealth fail. Because the Avengers as a whole get spotted while they’re scoping out the missile cave.

Black Panther needs to give them all some refresher learning.

MEANWHILE, though. Back at Yellow Claw’s island, Vision ditches his Quinjet and intangibles into Yellow Claw’s base.

When he reaches Yellow Claw’s throne slash harem room where Yellow Claw welcomes him back and asks him how the hell he discovered he had been tampered with.

Vision explains: 1) that he required extra power to recharge, 2) that he detected ultra-wave radiation being emitted from Dr. Liu when he blew up, 3) detected the same radiation from his own bad self. Thus he deduced that he had been altered to be an unwitting mole through which the Yellow Claw could spy on the Avengers and that the alteration was what was draining extra power.

Also why Vision ditched the Avengers and came here instead.

And it was all a very smart move up until it was a dumb one.

Yellow Claw was prepared that Vision might figure things out and show up again so the doorway had a Vision trapping trap installed in it and now Vision is trapped in the Vision trapping trap.

After all his ‘I’ve come alone to defeat you’ bravado, Vision can now only defiantly claim “the other Avengers will turn your dreams into dust!”

You Tried, Vision. You Tried.

But Yellow Claw isn’t done having been one step ahead of things yet.

See, he let Dr. Liu escape and warn the Avengers because based on the broken into vent he knew that Wasp had been in his base and probably saw enough to suspect something was up. The coordinates Dr. Liu gave the Avengers was a trap!

A trap of three strong mooks with really dumb names.

Bludgeoner, Transformer, and Compressor.

Guarantee these guys won’t be recurring.

Anyway. Iron Man and Jocasta repulsor and eyeeeeee beam at the three so Transformer can readily demonstrate why his name when he absorbs the energy and blasts it back at them.

And Bludgeoner and his big hammer hands bludgeon Wonder Man and Captain America.

And Compressor, why if you guessed that his big ol cheese grater hands compress the air between them to put the squeeze on anyone stuck between, ... wow. That’s a really good guess.

You’re good at comic books, friend!

Scarlet Witch uses a hex bolt to drop a stalactite on Compressor to free Beast but the fly swatter hands man crushes the rock and shoots the shrapnel back at Scarlet Witch.

And Wasp is as useless as she often is. Sigh.

Iron Man tries to swing behind Compressor and repulsor him but Compressor blasts air and sends Iron Man SKRRUURRUNCH into the cave dirt, carving up a furrow.

Sure, this has been only two pages but this is a bad showing against three dinguses with dumb names. I mean for crying out loud, a man named Compressor just bodied a guy called Iron Man.

Back at the Claw Cave... no, wait, that’s confusing. The Avengers are fighting in a cave. The Claw Condo? Back at the Claw Condo, Yellow Claw tells Vision that hey his friends are going to die gruesome and frankly embarrassing deaths but maybe Vision could eke out a little win for himself.

Claw has long platonically admired his construction and capabilities and with Dr. Liu exploded, he does need a new second-in-command.

To sweeten the pot, he’ll even explain his villainous plot because I’m sure we’ve all been wondering about that.

Yellow Claw: “You see, my line was created to rule this planet -- though mankind has stupidly resisted that inevitability. But now, despite the chemical concoctions that prolong my existence, I grow old. My years are numbered. And that is why I selected these women, exemplary in both body and mind, to assure a form of immortality.

For each shall bear me a son, and in time those sons shall fight each other to the death! The survivor, the fittest, shall then fulfill my fate by becoming supreme ruler of the Earth!

Though I swear, he’ll not be subjected to the same obstinacy, to the blind sense of human freedom that has frustrated me for these many decades!

For within those cryogenic storage banks is genetic material gathered from the world’s most physically and mentally perfect humans! And from that matter, my heir will create a new order, a new population, all raised to obey by a single edit: unswerving reverence to my son!”

Vision: There is a flaw to your logic, Claw. You seem to forget that there are already several billion people on this planet -- people who will never serve the likes of you.

Yellow Claw: Ah, once more you underestimate me. For at this very moment, the missiles at my Australian launch base are being readied for take-off. Once in orbit around the Earth, they will dock with my private spacecraft.

Then at my command, they will release a specially formulated vapor, one which will permeat the entire planetary atmosphere, rendering everyone on the globe -- except for those here in my closed-environment sanctuary -- irrevocably sterile!

With no children being born, the Earth will be barren in the space of a few generations -- barren save for the followers of the new Yellow Claw!”

Okay, so, credit where it’s due.

That’s a VERY evil plan.

Sterilize planet, replace humanity with genetically servile slave race, make babies fight to the death for the right to rule that whole shebang.

In terms of a dick move that's a major league one.

So when Yellow Claw asks if Vision will become his new number Liu, Vision answers: “Perhaps, miscreant. Perhaps I will join you... in hell!”

Yellow Claw isn’t too bothered by the refusal and even decides to let Vision have a front row seat to his plan being fulfilled.

And I don’t mean tying him to the front of one of the missiles.

I mean, Yellow Claw’s throne room launches from his base as a hot rod pink spaceship, sold separately.

Back at the Avengers fight, Wasp does a thing.

Honestly, its a pleasant surprise.

Her powerset of ‘be small, shoot tiny lasers’ not being much of a help, she thinks outside the box. She scoops some dirt from the cave floor and jams it into Bludgeoner’s arm joints to slow him down.

And then Wonder Man clocks him in the face. Who bludgeons the bludgeoners indeed.

It does go to show that a ‘useless’ power like Wasp’s can actually be very useful if you write her smart. A superhero team should be more than just big punches, more than just spectacular powers. Wasp has great combo potential for playing things strategic and that should be something the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are too.

Beast realizes that Wasp had a really good idea. The Avengers outnumber these three jokers so why not gang up on them with teamwork? Besides, they’re not working together in any way so the Avengers might as well.

So Beast grabs Transformer’s shield arm to leave him open for Jocasta to OPTIC BLAST!

And Cap throws his mighty shield to know Compressor’s arms apart so Iron Man can kick him in the face.

Which is impressive since Iron Man was flat on his ass in the immediately previous panel.

Apparently this was a gaffe caused by the pages being edited separately and the error not being caught before the book went to print.

As far as things go, not the worst error! I didn’t even notice it until it was pointed out.

Anyway, in a fit of pique from his dumb name dudes losing the fight, Yellow Claw kliks a button. The goons join hands or whatever weapon they have passing for hands and then they blow up.

Yellow Claw: “It is done. It cost the lives of three worthy operatives but at last -- the Avengers are dead!”

Ah, villains. Always ready to flip the board if they start losing.

And with the Avengers totally dead for realsies no foolin’ Yellow Claw is free to launch his missiles full of sterility vapors.

Actually, he could do that by remote so I don’t know why he had to wait for the Avengers to be explode. He could have just launched the missiles while they were busy fighting.

Anyway.

With the Avengers dead I guess the book will be about- can’t think of a good one for that recurring goof. So yeah, the Avengers aren’t dead.

Scarlet Witch used her powers to shield the team just in the nick of time.

Captain America: “Thanks, Wanda. If you hadn’t cast that protective hex sphere around us just in time...!”

Scarlet Witch: “Don’t mention it, captain. I rather enjoy being alive myself!”

Although, I didn’t know she could just shield people with her powers like that. Unless she altered the probability that explosions hurt so that they didn’t. Yes, that sounds plausible.

The two flying members of the team, Iron Man and Wonder Man fly out of the cave after the missiles, still determined to save the days as heroes often do.

The missiles launch into orbit and then something really goofy happens.

I’ve been saying missiles because the comic has been saying missiles and I guess they are technically missiles. But if I asked you to imagine a supervillain launching some missiles full of a chemical weapon, would you imagine this?

When the missiles launch into orbit they link up with Yellow Claw’s hot rod pink spaceship.

When I first saw this, I thought: is he going to launch them again from his spaceship? A bit of an unnecessary additional step.

But no. That is not what is going on here.

The man is just super committed to his iconography. The missiles join the spaceship and then bend to make it clear its supposed to resemble a claw.

That’s the kind of goofy nonsense I’m here for.

Iron Man and Wonder Man show up, to Yellow Claw’s alarm, and try to attack the hot pink spaceship but bounce off uselessly. The thing is protected by a strong force field.

Yellow Claw probably goes ‘phew’ internally and gets on with his evil plan.

With the missiles bent, as missiles are known to do??, to resemble claws, they can begin to spray the sterility gas into the atmosphere.

Yellow Claw: “Soon, it will be over! When enough vapors are released to mingle with the entire atmosphere -- the shadow of the Claw shall cover the Earth!”

And with things looking grim, Vision decides that things are down to him. I mean he did go off alone and is now stuck inside the enemy’s spaceship. He’s in a good position to mess things up.

So stuck suspended in a trap, he increases his density and mass to his limit and beyond! One ton, two, further!

The energy bubble holding him gives way to his weight, allowing him to make contact with the deck of the ship. Adding his weight to that of the ship and throwing it out of orbit.

The ship will crash into Earth and at this point, it can’t be stopped.

Yellow Claw is fairly pissed.

He smashes the device holding Vision captive and then starts trying to kill him with his bare hands.

And he’s capable of hitting Vision when he’s intangible because he studied Vision while he was a prisoner, the first time he was a prisoner. And created circuity to his metal sleeves that lets him tangible the intangible.

And thus he tries to strangle Vision.

I’m not sure he needs to breathe. Probably why Yellow Claw is punching him instead in later panels.

Vision points out that this fight is fairly pointless and that Yellow Claw could be using this time to escape but Yellow Claw is determined that he get something accomplished today.

And then the ship crashes into the ocean.

A short time skip later and the Avengers have parked the Quinjet on the ocean (it buoyant) and are searching for the Vision.

How did they know the Vision was here? Didn’t they think he was recuperating back at the mansion?

Apparently another gaffe but one that could be handwaved. Earlier in the issue when the three dumbnames appeared, Yellow Claw appeared on a monitor to taunt the Avengers and Vision was visible behind him. Captain America even appears to be pointing at Vision like ‘hey I know that guy from work.’

So conceivably they knew he was with Yellow Claw when his ship crashed.

Iron Man gives up on searching the ocean, not being able to find the Vision in the water but Vision just peaces in from the sky. He intangible’d out the ship just before the crash. He’s totally fine.

Scarlet Witch: “I am glad that you are safe, my husband. And I’m glad that the danger has ended.”

Vision: “No, my love. Though it is true that the Yellow Claw is dead, that he will no longer plague us with his particular form of madness -- there are too many others like him, others who would rise to power by crushing the freedom that is every being’s birthright.

And as long as any of them remain unchallenged -- the danger will never end.”

With that, Vision sort of stares out across the ocean moodily. Because a true Avengers story ends with someone staring at something moodily.

And I dunno! Maybe it was the extended break from doing this liveblog but this two-parter wasn’t as bad as I dreaded.

Supposedly, part of the impetus of the story was to do a last hurrah story for Yellow Claw and then shove him under some furniture because his yellow peril character concept was growing increasingly awkward.

After one more story in Marvel Fanfare with Cap, Yellow Claw was shelved for nearly three decades.

And man launches sterility gas missiles into space to form a giant claw to make it so that his successor can repopulate the Earth with a new, freedom hating breed of humanity is pretty great as far as comic book nonsense goes.

Although, in retrospect, I’m realizing that this was basically the same plan the Sentinels that kidnapped Scarlet Witch had.

Sterilize the planet with Wanda’s magical uterus and then replace humanity with a genetically engineered kind that could not mutate.

Comic books are weird.

Next time: Human Torch guest stars. Everything is on fire.

Follow @essential-avengers or like or reblog or send me questions or tell me I’m doing an okay job or do nothing. There are many choices available. But I would appreciate feedback.

#Avengers #the Vision #Yellow Claw #essential marvel liveblogging #essential avengers #Wasp #Jocasta #Beast #Wonder Man #Captain America #Iron Man

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Six Baudelaires AU, Part Three {AO3} {Masterlist} {Part One} {Part Two}

Chapter Thirty-One → in which Nick is not taking Ishmael’s bullshit

“Thank you so much, Friday.” Nick said, as they walked. “That man is very bad, and we’ve been trying to get away from him for some time.” 

“He seemed very mean.” Friday nodded. She looked carefully at Lilac. “Is he the reason you’re hurt?” Hesitantly, Lilac nodded. “We don’t allow violence on the island, so he won’t be allowed here. You’ll be safe.” 

“He’s very good at disguising himself and manipulating people.” Violet warned. 

“And we’re very good at seeing through that bullshit.” Friday said. She froze then, and slapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry! I’m not supposed to know that word.” 

“It’s alright.” Klaus laughed a little. “We swear a lot. I assume that’s not allowed on the island.” 

“No.” Friday nodded, and then she leaned in conspiratorially. “But I’ll tell you a secret. I know a lot of bad words anyway.” 

They giggled. “So do we.” Solitude said. 

“Okay.” Friday said. “Can you tell me what ‘fuck’ means?” 

They gave each other very awkward looks. Then, Lilac said, “Quick question, first. What’s your seashell for?” 

“Coconut cordial.” Friday said. “There’s no fresh water on the island, so we drain the milk from coconuts and allow it to ferment.” 

Nick paused. “Um, doesn’t that make it a drug?” 

“What’s a drug?” 

Nick groaned. “Oh no.” 

“Okay, what is fermented coconut milk and what does it do?” Klaus asked. 

“Opiate.” Nick said. 

“Still don’t know what that is.” Solitude muttered. 

“Well, shit.” Violet huffed. 

“What?” Friday asked. “What’s wrong?” 

Nick considered. “Can you take us to the medical tent first? Before we meet everyone else.” 

“I guess so.” Friday shrugged. “Come on, Dr Kurtz and Willa should be in.” 

She led them onto blindingly white sand, and Nick said, “Is that a boat?” He pointed towards the beach, where something was almost built. 

“An outrigger.” Friday said. “It’s tradition.” 

“What are some of your customs?” Klaus pulled his commonplace book out and started to take notes. 

“Every time there’s a storm, we go storm scavenging and present what we’ve found to our facilitator, Ishmael. He’s been on this island longer than any of us, and he injured his feet and keeps them covered in island clay, which has healing powers. He can’t stand, but he decides what might be of use, and what the sheep should drag away.” 

“Baba?” Sunny asked. “You have sheep?” 

“Yep.” Friday said. “They drag our scavenged items to the arboretum, on the far side of the island over that brae over there. All that grows there is an enormous apple tree, or that’s what I’ve heard, at least. Nobody goes there, because Ishmael says it’s too dangerous, with everything the sheep brought there. Nobody picks the bitter apples from the tree, except on Decision Day.” 

“What’s Decision Day?” Violet asked. 

“It’s like a holiday.” Friday said. “Once a year, the tides turn in this part of the ocean, and the coastal shelf is completely covered in water. It’s the one time a year that it’s deep enough to sail away from the island. All year long we build an enormous outrigger, and the day the tides turn we have a feast and talent show. Then anyone who wishes to leave our colony indicates their decision by taking a bite of the bitter apple and spitting it onto the ground before boarding the outrigger and bidding us farewell.” 

“Hm.” Nick said carefully. 

“Of course, people rarely leave this island.” Friday said. “Nobody has left since before I was born, so each year we simply light the outrigger on fire and push it out to sea. It’s beautiful, and we only have a few days left until then.” 

“It sounds beautiful.” Klaus said uncertainly. 

“Here we go!” Friday led them into a clearing, where several tents had been set up. She waved at a few wandering people in robes, mouthed the word Castaways and gestured to the Baudelaires, and then ducked into a tent on the far side. The siblings followed her into it, giving each other skeptical looks. 

Inside, an older man- who admitted he was more of a veterinarian than a doctor- and a younger woman greeted them, and while Friday explained the situation, they inspected Lilac’s wound. “It doesn’t seem to be infected, which is incredibly lucky.” Willa said, kneeling down and frowning. “How did this happen?” 

“I was attacked.” Lilac said simply. 

“Well, you won’t have to worry about that here.” Willa hmmed, and then she reached to the side, pulling out some strips of fabric. “These should be better bandages. If your siblings want to wait outside-” 

“No.” said all five of her siblings. 

Willa raised her eyebrow, but shrugged. “Alright. I won’t force you. Friday, why don’t you deliver what you’ve found to Ishmael?” 

“I’ll do that when the Baudelaires are ready to go.” Friday said. “I want to show him the Castaways.” 

The Baudelaires all shared a look of agreement. “And we’d love to meet him.” Violet said. 

It took a while, but Friday just sat beside them and told them about the kinds of things she’d found on the island- unsurprisingly to the Baudelaires, she hadn’t been able to keep any of it, as Ishmael had “convinced” her to send them to the other side of the island. Dr Kurtz wandered out after a bit, while Willa kept treating Lilac. She didn’t seem to have much medicine, but she did manage to get her bandaged up, and told her that she’d probably be fine in a few days. 

“It didn’t cut too deep, and you didn’t bleed too much.” Willa said. “So you should be alright to go meet Ishmael. A lot of people will be back from storm scavenging, so you can see our customs firsthand.” 

“I’m sure we will.” Violet said. “Friday, mind showing us the way?” 

“I’d love to!” Friday beamed, reaching to grab Lilac’s hand. “Come on!” 

The Baudelaires once again shared a look, and then a nod, and then they followed Friday out. 

Up near the outrigger was an incredibly huge and incredibly long white tent. Friday led them inside, where they saw several people already crowded around. There were several sheep laying against the walls, snoring soundly, and across at the edge of the tent was an old man with a beard as thick and wild as the sheep’s woolly coats. He sat on an enormous chair that looked as if it were fashioned out of white clay, and two more piles of clay rose up over his feet. Several people in similar robes to Friday were gathered around him, holding up items, and off to the side was a large sleigh where several items already stood. 

“I found the propeller of an airplane.” said a pleasant-looking man. 

“Well, Alonso,” said Ishmael, “I won’t force you, but I don’t think a propeller would be of much use.” 

“We could make a fan.” Violet whispered.

“You’re right, Ishmael.” Alonso said, and he placed the propeller on the sleigh. 

“I found this tool.” a girl a few years older than Lilac stepped forwards. 

“Is that a dagger, Ariel?” Ishmael raised his eyebrows. “You know weapons aren’t allowed on the island.” 

“It’s an old tool for cutting pages of books.” Ariel said. 

“Well, we have no books on this island.” Ishmael said. “So it would be of little use. But I won’t force you.”

Klaus glanced down at Friday. “There are no books?” 

“They get wet in storms.” Friday shrugged. 

A plump man with a sunburned face said, “I found a cheese grater. I nearly lost a finger prying it away from a nest of crabs.” 

“You shouldn’t have gone to all that trouble.” Ishmael said. “We’re not going to have much use for a cheese grater without any cheese.” 

“Grate coconut, make cake.” Sunny said. 

The man made a similar point. “We could grate other foods.” 

“Well, I won’t force you, Sherman,” Ishmael said, “But I think we have all the food we need.” 

Nick clenched his fists and turned to his siblings, and they nodded in agreement. Friday looked at them curiously, unsure of their thoughts. 

“Go ahead and introduce us, if you want.” Lilac said to Friday, smiling encouragingly. 

Friday nodded, and as Sherman put his cheese grater onto the wagon, she shouted over the crowd, “I found some castaways!” 

They all turned, interested, and Friday brought the Baudelaires forwards. The crowd parted as they approached Ishmael, and Nick quickly grabbed Klaus’s hand, as Violet kept her arm under Lilac. Solitude had decided to walk over with Sunny, so she held her hand as they toddled across the dirt, to make sure she didn’t fall. 

“Well, hello.” Ishmael said with a cordial smile. “And what should I call you?” 

Lilac straightened up, knowing she was the only one of her siblings who could stay calm enough for introductions. “Lilac, Violet, Nick, Klaus, Solitude and Sunny Baudelaire.” she said. 

Ishmael’s eyes flickered. “Baudelaire? Well, welcome to our island. Did you survive the storm last night?” 

“Yes.” Violet said. “And there’s a bad man running around, too, named Count Olaf.” 

“Well, we’ll deal with him, don’t you worry.” Ishmael said. “Now, Friday, what are those?” He pointed at her sunglasses. 

“I thought they might be useful on bright days.” Friday said quietly. 

“Well, I won’t force you, but I think we should retain our custom of only wearing white.” Ishmael said. 

Lilac straightened up and gave Nick a nod that clearly communicated, Tear the bitch apart. 

“And I think,” Nick said, stepping forwards, “That those could be useful.” 

The islanders whispered amongst themselves, and Ishmael turned to Nick with a cold smile. “You must be tired from the storm, my boy. Friday can show you where to get robes-” 

“We’re not changing.” Nick said. 

The Islanders all stiffened, and Friday gasped. Ishmael simply stared. “Well,” he said, “It’s our custom to wear only white.” 

“You cannot force me to wear white.” Lilac said. 

“I won’t force you-” Ishmael began. 

“And you won’t.” Nick said. “Listen up, you- someone cover Friday’s ears.” Klaus reached forwards and slammed his hands over Friday’s ears. “Alright. Listen up, you bitchass motherfucker. I don’t know what kind of a scam you’re running here, or what scheme you’re pulling, but we’re not falling into it. Thank you for the bandages for Lilac, but we’re gonna fuck off on our own now, thanks. We just got out of a cult, we’re not joining another one just because this island’s small as shit.” 

The Islanders looked like Nick had just announced plans to end the world. A woman ran forwards and dragged Friday back with her; they realized quickly that was probably the young girl’s mother. 

Ishmael frowned slightly. “Young man, you must be tired. Have some cordial-” 

“Oh, and about the cordial,” Nick said. “Friday said it’s fermented, right? Yeah, that just makes it an opiate. We’re not gonna chug drugs just so you can convince us you know best and everything’s fine and we should toss away all our shit. I was drugged up once, it’s not fun.” 

“Yeah, it’s not.” Violet agreed. 

“Wait.” Solitude narrowed her eyes. “Nick, when were you-” 

“Don’t ask.” he said. “Anyway, I’d rather not be high as a kite, living under a dictatorship claiming to be a democracy, while our Dickhead Asswipe Motherfucking Family Enemy is running around with a harpoon gun, and possibly a helmet of deadly fungus- speaking of which, any of you find a diving helmet, leave it closed, alright? Alright, cool, back to it. Violet, you look like you want a turn.” 

“Yeah.” Violet nodded. “All these inventions suck, I could make you a fan and an irrigation system in, like, less than a week. You’re stifling creativity because it threatens you, and now it’s Klaus’s turn.” 

“If you think I’m not going to tear the ocean apart to get a book, you’re dead fucking wrong.” Klaus said. 

“I think-” Ishmael straightened, looking stern. 

“And I think you’re hiding knowledge from everyone, like the knowledge they’re being drugged out of their minds.” Klaus said. “Soli?” 

“I’m not throwing out my frog, bitchfuck.” Solitude said, as Babbitt hopped to her shoulder, having only just woken up, now very confused. 

“Fuckshit.” Sunny said. 

“I’m not gonna translate that for her,” Lilac said, “But know it was not pleasant. Anyway, I’m not subjecting my siblings to this cult bullshit that discourages innovation. So we’re gonna find someplace to set up camp, far away from here, and we’re gonna have fresh water and no fermented drugs and we get to keep whatever we want, and also we’re gonna need a knife in case Olaf shows up.” 

“Yeet me.” Sunny said. 

“You’re right, Sun, we’ll just beat him up. Nevermind.” Lilac said. “Anyway, thank you for the bandages, we’ll be on our way.” 

“We’ll leave you alone to do your cult bullshit,” Klaus said, “But if you bother us, we bother you.” 

“Kapiche?” Sunny said. 

Everyone was dead silent. Friday, who could hear everything even with her mother’s hands over her ears- hands were never an effective block, anyway- was wide-eyed. Ishmael looked for one moment like he might explode. 

Then, sternly, he narrowed his eyes and said, “Well. I won’t force you-” 

“Then don’t.” Nick said. “Later, sluts.” 

And with that, the Baudelaires walked out of the tent.

#asoue #asoue netflix #asoue movie #a series of unfortunate events #six baudelaires au #six baudelaires official fic #the end #mine #my fanfic

[wellamarke]

@humanschallenge Day 11 ‘role reversal’

I started a few grittier versions of this prompt but then I was like........ no, I want to have Fun.

Joe is a single parent again, and Sam and Sophie have just started secondary school.

•••

The phone rang in the middle of Joe’s kitchen adventure - he had declined Stanley’s help earlier, but just now, already trying to juggle three separate stages of the cooking process at once, he was wishing for an extra pair of hands to stop the infernal ringing from pounding through his skull.

“Hello?” he said, balancing the phone on his shoulder.

“Is this Mr Hawkins?”

The tone was formal, but friendly enough. Joe returned one of the saucepans back on the hob. “Yeah, hi. Who’s speaking?”

“This is Jill Chatton, from the Mersham Academy. I just wanted to give you some feedback on Sam and Sophie’s first day.”

“Oh, right. Great.” Potentially great, anyway, Joe thought wryly. He’d had second, third, fourth and even fifth thoughts about putting Sam in school, and this could really go either way.

“Don’t sound so nervous. They both did very well. I think they enjoyed themselves. Tomorrow, of course, will be the real test - the first day is always a bit more relaxed.”

“Of course.” Somehow he could hear a “but…” coming. Oh, God, what had they done? Had they staged some kind of schoolyard coup? Had someone made a ‘dolly’ joke at Sam’s expense and been paid back with a punch on the nose from Sophie? She’d done something like that at the last school, and that was before she’d even met Sam and taken on the role of his fiercest protector.

“There’s just one thing I wanted to check with you.”

Here we go, Joe thought, stirring the tomato sauce with a little more nervous intensity than was probably required.

“I think we’ve had a bit of a mix-up, our end. We knew we were getting a synth child and a human child, so the arrangements were all put in place and the other children were warned to expect somebody a little different. But for some reason we thought Sam was the synthetic. It’s not a problem, of course… we just wanted to correct the error in the school files.”

“Um… come again?”

Jill Chatton chuckled. “It’s funny, isn’t it? We were expecting a little human girl and a synthetic boy, but of course it’s the other way round!”

Joe set down the wooden spoon and took the phone in his hand, as if that would somehow make things make sense. “No, you– you had it right the first time. Sophie’s my daughter. Sam is a synthetic child we adopted last year, after the battle of the Railyard…”

“Oh.” That shut her up for a second. “Yes, I do remember the Railyard being in the news, but I… do you mean to say the little boy, Sam, he is the synthetic after all?”

Joe heaved a sigh, then realised he must sound irritated. “Sorry, that wasn’t aimed at you. I’m huffing at Sophie, mostly. She loves putting on the synth act, and she’s gotten really good at it. I had no idea she was going to pull this stunt. Yes, Sam’s the synth. Again, he’s got very good at faking human.”

“I see.”

This was followed by a silence which, to Joe, seemed to last about three years. He wondered if this was it, already - it had taken long enough to find a school willing to take on a synth pupil, even with the extra funding from the Mia Foundation. He’d almost rather Sophie had punched a brat. No, that was stupid, of course he wouldn’t, but after all the work they’d done to get this place…

A strange clucking sound emitted from the other end of the phone, and after a few seconds Joe realised this was Jill Chatton laughing, properly this time. Raucously, in fact.

“She was so convincing!” she spluttered. “She– she asked me if she really had to go to Chemistry since she had already memorised the periodic table, and proceeded to reel them off!”

Joe began to see the funny side. “Forgive me, Ms Chatton, but… are you a Chemistry teacher?”

“Heavens, no.”

“Then she was probably making it up as she went along.”

“Ah, perhaps.” Jill chuckled again. “I did think I’d never heard of ‘Niskanium’ before.”

“Yes, I wonder how she came up with that,” said Joe, not wondering at all. “Well, I’ll speak to them when they get home. I’m very sorry if they caused you any trouble.”

“Oh, no trouble at all. If anything, it seems that Sam will fit in absolutely perfectly. Nobody smelt a rat all day. Now I come to think of it, I’m sure he sneezed in registration.”

“Yes, he can do all sorts.” Joe thought fondly of the two of them, who were thick as thieves these days, and had begged him to enter them as twins and not even mention that Sam was a green-eyes. Maybe they hadn’t done it purely for mischief: he wouldn’t put it past Sophie to run the con as a way to show Sam he had nothing to worry about in the new environment.

“Well, Mr Hawkins, you certainly have a unique family. And we’re very glad you chose to send Sophie and Sam to the Mersham Academy. Now, I can’t decide if I ought to set my colleagues straight or not, you know. It might be it interesting to see how long the children can keep it up, but it would hardly be professional…”

“Tell them, but see how many of them are willing to play along. I’d love to hear Sophie talk her way out of projecting a memory onto the interactive whiteboard, for a start.”

“Mr Hawkins, I like the way you think.”

Joe grinned. “Someone’s got to.” He looked up, through the kitchen window, to see two familiar figures approaching the end of the drive. “Ah, here comes trouble. They’re home.”

“I’ll let you confront them, then. Thank you for your time, Mr Hawkins.”

“And you.”

Joe rang off, and temporarily deposited the cheese grater on the kitchen counter. He went out to meet them coming up the path, and sure enough, Sophie was all parallel lines and even stare, while Sam swaggered along, hands in pockets, and apparently chewing gum, for goodness’ sake.

“Good day, you two?”

Sophie balked upon seeing him, and immediately corrected her posture to something a little less rigid. “Hi, Dad. It was fine, yeah.”

Sam, too, reset. “We found it satisfactory, thank you, Joe.”

“Oh, right. No problems, then?”

“Nothing to report.”

“Great. Well, I’m just in the middle of making dinner. I forget, Sam, do you like tomato sauce, or shall I leave it off yours?”

Joe turned to go inside, leaving the troublesome twins to look at one another suspiciously.

“Oh, and Sophie, your charging cable’s in a tangle, make sure you don’t go too low before you sort it out, I know what you’re like.”

He returned to the kitchen with a very smug grin on his face.

#c4 humans #amc humans #joe hawkins #sophie hawkins #sam drummond voss #humans challenge 2019 #long post

[arealcrow-archive]

no one even begs anymore

happy belated birthday to @iseektheholygrail !!

It started this morning, a glimpse of a figure in the window of a bookshop, so familiar it scares you. Things were hazy, you were bleary eyed with a hangover, not sure if you’re really even awake but that’s him. That’s Jasper.

1.6k

micah & jasper, set in jasper’s companion au. title from x

You’ve been seeing ghosts. That’s not new, your dreams have been haunted for as long as you’ve had them. This is different, you’re not sleeping now.

It started this morning, a glimpse of a figure in the window of a bookshop, so familiar it scares you. Things were hazy, you were bleary eyed with a hangover, not sure if you’re really even awake but that’s him. That’s Jasper. You’d have known if you’d had eyes on him for only seconds, but you stood there and stared at him through that bookshop window from across the street. He was just standing there, leafing through a book with his eyebrows furrowed. His face is flushed from having coming inside from the cold, curls blown askew, and the way his narrowed eyes skim over the words- reading but not really absorbing- makes your heart pang, in a strange painful way. He looks different, older, but you feel like you saw him just yesterday. Not years ago.

You keep your mental shields tight as a snare drum these days, but you could feel yourself start to slip at the sight of him. It’s just habit, he doesn’t need much leeway to read you but when he asks for an inch you’ve always offered a mile. 

You’re not sure how long you stand there watching, willing the people on the street around to just ignore you, flow around your stock still form like a creek around a boulder. Too long. But not long enough for him to notice you, as far as you can tell. You don’t dare try and check, even an intrusion that light into his mind would give you away. He’d recognize the feeling of your telepathy too easily; there’s no way to cover your tracks with an empath who knows you better than you know yourself. Afters minutes that felt like hours, that you wish were merely seconds, it’s too much to handle. The yearning to cross the street and go inside, to actually hear his voice again. It’s too much. You’re a man who was left for dead, wanting for a comfort long gone. Jasper didn’t come save you, even though he must have known who took you, the only one who knew what you really were. Maybe that’s why he left you to rot like everyone else.

That’s the thought that finally gets you to move, the feeling of betrayal, rejection turning your stomach sour. Faces blur past you in the street on the way back to your apartment, so caught up in the swirling mess of your own personal storm cloud that you don’t really come back into yourself until you’re out of your own head and in your puppet.

-

Things are just easier when you’re Adam. Younger and prettier for it, and lacking the instinctive sharpness you just can’t curb in your own body. Your luck is never any better, though. Not even in this body can you escape your ghosts, two drinks down and suddenly there he is. This time you’re even less sure that he’s real, unable to feel the presence of his mind in the void of telepathic space with this body.  You excuse yourself from your date as quickly as you can, faking some emergency and promising you’ll text as soon as you’ve got the issue all sorted out. You won’t. You wouldn’t have texted had the date gone well, either. The only reason you said yes because you were bored, and thought it might have been a good chance to keep your flirting skills sharp.

Jasper’s on the other side of the bar, having a conversation with another bartender when he spots you starting towards the exit. You hadn’t been paying as much attention as you should have been, he’d been watching you before you even noticed him. He’s got the advantage of knowing the area better than you do, and is already standing there when you duck into the alley behind the bar in an attempt to get off the well lit main road. 

“Shit!” You say, taking a startled half-step back.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, sounding almost wary himself, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just.. Have we met before?”

“What? I- no I don’t think so. I certainly don’t recognize you, anyway,” the lie is natural; you never sound like you’re lying. Lying to an empath is hard, though, and you’ve never been able to lie to Jasper.

He hesitates before speaking again, you can tell he’s not fooled in the slightest. “If you say so. Guess I must be mistaken.”

You swallow hard, eyes falling to his boots. You can’t stand the way he’s looking at you, like he’s seeing right through you. He’d probably be able to find you miles away if he was looking, of course he can feel you in this shell. You turn around before you speak, but you can still feel two burning holes on your back. 

“I have to go. Have a nice night, Jas.”  Shit.

“Uh huh. Stay safe.”

-

one week later

He’s there again, like you’d predicted. Just your luck. You’d think he would know better than to keep habits like this, but you suppose if the Farm was still looking for him they would have found him by now. Then again, perhaps not. You know Jasper better than they do. Maybe it was only a matter of time until you found him, or he found you. That’s what you’re trying to avoid here, being found. You’re sure you gave yourself away in your puppet, you’ve been having nightmares about the look in his eyes ever since that night. This is already going to make you feel off kilter enough without him having the element of surprise on you.

You don’t mean to startle him as you walk up behind him, footsteps light out of nervous instinct, but it feels fair after he did the same you.

“Micah.” All it takes is a single word and you’re ready to bolt. Your mental shields were pulled taut, you were braced for this interaction and this just makes them snap. Mess dripping out of you like so much spilled beer and it’s too much already.

“Jas. Hi.” His eyebrows knit together at the strain of your voice, and despite your sour sense of betrayal you feel bad for making him worry. “Can we- would you like to go somewhere private? To talk?”

He pauses before he responds; you can feel him sifting through the mess you’re trying to pull back behind your defenses, just trying to make sense of it all. Clearly what you asked wasn’t what he’d expected, but you’ve always tended to move faster than him. Keeping people on their toes is something you’re good at. Jasper just happens to be good at rolling with the punches you throw.

“Sure, okay. Do you have somewhere in mind?”

You nod, even though you don’t. Your first instinct, your apartment, feels too risky, and bringing him to your lair to talk would require more explanation than you want to give right away.

“My place is close.” He says, when you don’t offer a real answer.

“That. Yeah, that works for me.” Years apart and you’re already going home with him. Old habits die hard.

-

“So, wait, they just left you in that hospital?” You’re getting louder with ever word, having stood up from your chair two sentences ago. 

“I was as good as dead in there, Micah-”

“You weren’t dead, though! They should have done more.”

“They should have done more for both of us.” His words somber you up quickly, and you suddenly feel sluggish from the drinks the two of you have shared while catching up. You have to sit down again before your head starts

“Yeah. They should have.”

“And hey, at least the Farm thought I was as good as dead too.”

“Silver linings everywhere, huh?” you respond sarcastically, nudging an empty beer bottle with your pinky. A warm hand covers yours a second later, Jasper’s thumb running slowly over yours. 

“Yeah.”

You swallow thickly, trying to ignore the lump rapidly forming in your throat. You feel as if you’re going to cry, emotions raw like someone took a cheese grater to them. Not for the first time you’re grateful that you don’t have to tell him that. He squeezes your hand and suddenly that’s not nearly enough. Standing up, you drag him to his own couch by your already connected hands so you can curl yourself into his side. It’s easy to fall into place next to each other, like puzzle pieces slotting into place. You rest your chin on his shoulder and lower your voice, like you’re sharing secrets. 

“I’m glad you’re not dead.” “I know. Me too.”

You press a kiss to his cheek and watch him close his eyes, something small and tender unfurling in your chest.

“I wouldn’t have left you in there. I would’ve done something, if I could.” “I know. Me too.” You had been trying to convince yourself of that, to nurse that hope despite your cynicism, but to hear it like that makes your breath catch. Heat comes rushing to your face, and you’re sure Jasper can feel it against the skin of his shoulder where you’re hiding it.

“I missed you.” You admit. Despite thinking he left you all this time, there hadn’t been a day where you hadn’t thought about him. You’d considered it one of your worst vices.

He smooths down your unruly mane of hair and presses a kiss to the top of your head, and that one you don’t need to hear him reciprocate out loud. 

#fhr #jasper colt #micah raziel #trainwreck boys #my stuff #i listened to. when you were young and read my mind by the killers while writing this and Thats IT #this has been sitting in my drafts since last night but kit had to read it before i posted it!!!

[spaceshipkat]

"SJ/M has no concept of time" 100000000% true lmao

YEP YEP YEP. i’m still not over the fact the entire series (if we leave out Assassin’s Blade, which i kinda suggest people do bc the short stories really mean nothing to where the series went the more books were published, and they certainly don’t matter in the conclusion) takes place over two years. sardines is 18 in t0g and alien is 20 in k0a. two fucking years for all of that to happen, for every single character, and all the apparently So Mega Powerful Big Bads to be defeated. keep in mind that the main Big Bads by the end of the series (let’s be real, King Dorian/the King of Adarlan was never really the Big Bad. he was mostly just a red herring, if sj/m were capable of writing with those kinds of layers) are all immortal. Maeve is somewhere above 3000 years and Erawan is some innumerable age that, presumably, would have given them plenty of time to come up with plans that an inexperienced queen and subpar assassin who plays at warfare wouldn’t be able to stand a chance against. the only reason they’re a real threat (“threat”) is bc sj/m uses what i like to call her signature hand-wavey magic bullshit. nothing would have happened were sj/m not pulling the strings and forcing the characters into problems that would require so many books to solve. 

i think what would have been really interesting is for the time that alien is spent imprisoned by Maeve to be muuuuuuch longer than it really is. iirc it’s just a matter of months, during which all Maeve does is whip her and carry the coffin around for some reason (not Maeve herself, obv, but you get my meaning). if we’d seen more of the scenes of torture–and i don’t condone torture, just to get that out there, but if it must be included at least include it for the right reasons and in the best way–i think alien’s journey, while not better, would at least be more realistic and interesting. if we saw Maeve break her mind instead of her body (why does sj/m always resort to whipping as torture?), or at least alongside her body, and then we see alien find a way to claw her way out of that broken state, such as by thinking of her friends, family, and country, which she claims to love, it’d have been a lot more impactful and i wouldn’t feel like i’m dragging a cheese grater over my brain whenever i think about k0a. 

but bc sj/m doesn’t have a good concept of time, she couldn’t even manage that. instead, she wanted to rush through alien’s captivity and torture so she could get to the smut, which is all that really matters to her. k0a might be more watered down than e0s (and definitely more watered down than the entire ac0tar series) but when you really parse it down the sex scenes are the ones that get the most weight, despite the fact they really don’t move the plot or characters forward. i wish i could figure out why sj/m made the timeline in t0g as a whole so short, bc it’s so completely unrealistic for alien to go through everything she did: starvation, becoming the King’s Champion, gaining weight, starving again, training as a fae with rowboat, shedding sardines and becoming alien, taking out King Dorian/the King of Adarlan, campaigning for the throne of Terrasen, putting all her plans in place, giving herself up to Maeve, being tortured again, starving yet again, being saved yet again, defeating the Big Bads (though she doesn’t actually kill them herself), and becoming the queen of Terrasen. 

all of that–and this is just for alien, not any of the other numerous characters with their own POVs–takes place in two years. two goddamn years. i think a lot of that is the reason most of the other characters don’t have arcs, or have their arcs finished too early, thus relegating them to the kind of role that Lord Hawk That Growls finds himself in. (why couldn’t he have been killed once he’d served his purpose? that would really shine a light on how horrible the reality of war is. i understand the need for a happy ending–and i’m mostly writing books with happy endings rn for various reasons that can be talked about another day–but sj/m has always billed her books to be darker, deeper, and more serious, which would thus make a loved character’s death fitting. but i digress.) 

i mentioned to @longsightmyth the other day that sj/m didn’t plan on having roaw/elin be endgame when she wrote h0f bc she thought the series would end at q0s. however, she then sold e0s, t0d, and k0a, and had heaps of success with the ac0tar series and its fae, all of which gave her the pages and freedom and permission to move away from the story’s natural progression, particularly regarding alien, and toward the culmination of the series we’re left with in k0a. 

it’s been a long time since i rambled to this extent, hasn’t it? anyway, yeah, sj/m has no concept of time and it’s obvious in the sheer ridiculousness of everything that happens in 7+ books (so ridiculous, in fact, that she’s now writing the world of t0g to explain what happens afterward instead of leaving well enough alone)

#ask #anonymous #anti sjm #anti tog #tw: torture #tw: starvation

[cynical-gamer-media]

A Day in the Life Outside Fighting

I am extremely late, but have Day 3: Domestic Life for @glimadora-week!

Adora was unsure what to make of domestic life.

Back at the Horde, when one doesn’t fight they practice. That was the definition of domestic lifestyle. But according to Glimmer that is not what it means. Thus the princess decided that the two spend time together.

Adora felt uncertain as to how to feel about spending a day without fighting anyone or perfecting her skills. Nonetheless she wanted to try, considering she was introduced to so many wonderful things since joining the Rebellion. What Glimmer wants to do with her was to cook something called ‘pizza’. She practically had a heart attack when Adora told her that she was unfamiliar with pizza. When Adora mentioned that she was aware of some cooking skills, Glimmer insisted that they cook together. Thus this is how the blonde found herself in this situation.

Glimmer was cutting some vegetables to use for the topping, whilst Adora was kneading the dough. It felt strangely relaxing for her to knuckle the dough, perhaps due to feeling like she was exercising somehow. The texture felt oddly pleasant too; after having calloused hands and interacting with rough objects, something soft was a lovely sensation.

“Enjoying yourself, Adora?” Adora turned to see Glimmer glancing over at her with a grin on her face.

Adora’s bluish-grey eyes sparkled with jubilance. “Yeah! This blob feels so relaxing to knuckle down!”

“That’s dough,” Glimmer corrected with a chuckle. “I’ve finished cutting the vegetables!”

Adora gave a nod to affirm that the dough was ready. Glimmer ushered the blonde over to hold a cheese grater, so that the teleporting princess could grate the cheese without the problem of the device moving. Adora grasped the cheese grater and allowed Glimmer to grate the cheddar into a bowl.

As the process of grating continued for time, Adora thought of something that has been on her mind, she inquired, “What made you get into cooking?”

Glimmer’s expression softened, as if she was reminiscing some pleasant memories. “Funnily enough it was the one thing mum and I enjoyed together and never disagreed on anything,” she explained with a smile on her face. She let out a childish giggle. “The only thing we disagreed on was about what to cook!”

Adora shared a smile with Glimmer, pleased that the princess that usually was dour about discussing her mother was speaking optimistically of her relationship of her mother. In a strange way she felt like she was connecting with Glimmer’s family through this activity. Thinking about Angella made Adora frown in worry, and to stoop her head to stare at the grate.

“I’m not sure your mother would be happy with… us being a thing…” She whispered silently to herself.

Adora sensed that Glimmer furrowed her eyebrows at what she was suggesting. It has been bothering Adora for some time since she and Glimmer started spending time together as girlfriends. Of course Bow was in on it, and extremely supportive as he is. But she, She-Ra, and former Horde Soldier, was petrified of telling Angella about her love for Glimmer. She knew Glimmer hadn’t told her mother about it, not because she didn’t love her mother; she just was spending so much time with her that she simply brushed her mother’s feelings aside. It was silly, but Adora really wanted to become friends with Angella.  

Before she could elaborate with the teleporting princess on the matters she felt an arm sling over her shoulder. She turned to notice Glimmer with a massive grin on her face, one that indicated that she had some plan in mind. The blonde was unsure whether to be thrilled or terrified at what her girlfriend would suggest.

“How about after we make the pizza we offer a piece to her as an offering to win her over?” Glimmer recommended with a mischievous glint in her eyes.  

That made Adora’s eyes shoot up with jubilance. Yes, if this ‘pizza’ was as delicious as Glimmer explained, then it could appease to Angella! This would be perfect; spending quality time with her girlfriend with cooking, sharing the pizza together, and offering a piece to Glimmer’s mother. That would be the perfect segue to inform Angella of their relationship!

With a boost of confidence and courage, Adora declared, “Well what are we waiting for? Let’s cook!”

                                                                *

Angella eyed the pizza piece with a cocked eyebrow. The immortal could sense a strange feeling of discomfort emit from Adora as she and Glimmer held a plate out for her. Judging from the crumbs against their faces, Angella suspected that the two had shared the rest of the pizza amongst themselves. It was extremely perplexing as to why her daughter and Adora wish to offer this final piece for her. Glimmer never shared food with her. There had to be a catch to this.

With a deadpan expression Angella asked carefully, “What is this really about, Glimmer?”

Glimmer looked like she was mock-offended by her mother’s accusation. She brought a hand to her chest to express her ‘hurt’. “What~? Can’t I and Adora share the last piece with you, mum?”

Knowing she was not going to pry anything out of her daughter the angelic being turned to the nervous Adora. “Adora…?”

“Ma’am!” Adora squeaked with a salute from her free hand.

“Could you tell me what this is about?”

There was sweat starting to decorate the blonde girl’s face. Angella turned to look accusingly towards her daughter, feeling like Glimmer must have made the bearer of She-Ra do something uncomfortable. Glimmer gave a nervous chuckle and a nonchalant shrug to dismiss her mother’s critical look.

“Glimmer and I are dating!” Adora practically shouted.

Flabbergast etched the immortal’s face as she looked back at the frightened blonde.

“We are offering you this piece to gain your approval of I dating your daughter!” Adora added in a zip-fast tone, the colour from her face drained. “Please, ma’am, accept this offering!”

Angella glanced at her daughter, whom was face palming and blushing a deep crimson out of sheer humiliation. Then the angelic being looked back at the determined yet concerned Adora, whose posture was straightened and her mouth pressed firmly in determination.

“I am… grateful, but I already knew that you are dating my daughter,” Angella expressed in a dumbfounded tone.  

Glimmer dropped the plate and pizza as she leapt to her mother. “Wait, what!?”

“I noticed the way you two look and act around each other,” Angella added, sounding as if this was something everyone knows. A light smile played on her features. “I was in love too, Glimmer, so I know the signs.”

Whilst Glimmer seemed utterly despondent for wasting her time coming here to offer a piece of a now dirty pizza, Adora seemed over the moon with joy. The former Horde soldier expressed that she would not disappoint Angella nor break Glimmer’s heart, a declaration that sounded ridiculously formal to the immortal.  

At least everything turned out fine.

#She Ra #Glimadora #Adora #Glimmer #My Text #Day 3 #Spop #Text

[ladyofthewrittenword]

Arguing w/ the Uninformed: The Saga

Just had a very illuminating conversation, though I hesitate to call it that, with my future mother-in-law about... wait for it... A BUMPER STICKER!! Side note: We live in very small-town Ohio and this is deep in Trump territory. Back to the main plot: Now, we’re driving back to the house after she’s picked me up from work and we’re stopped at a red light when I notice, that displayed very prominently on the bumper of this beat up Chevy in front of us, is a bumper sticker that reads: “Hilary for Prison 2016″ on an American flag backdrop. Hee haw, so clever! But the entire time, I’m internally screaming because, knowing my MIL’s political leanings as I do, I really don’t want her to notice the sticker too and go off on a tangent/rant (which, I guess is just what I’m doing here.... Go, figure!). I’ve had a long day of work, and I hate her and want to spend as little time listening to her speak as possible because frankly, her voice is a like a cheese grater on my eardrums. Still with me? Good! Because it gets better! (Or depending on how you look at it, much much worse....)

Now, this must be the longest light in the history of red lights, but she inevitably notices the bumper sticker, proceeds to read it aloud for the class, snort with laughter, and elbow me in what I can only assume she perceives to be a playful manner. On the one hand, she had started to drive again and my body was like, “EYES ON THE ROAD!” and on the other, my brain was screaming, “Don’t touch me, beyotch, ew.” But, as I knew was unavoidable... the rant begins. (She actually stopped to take a deep breath for this too!) 

MIL, so pleased with herself: “Isn’t that so funny?” ** Snort chortle **

Me, tired, petty AF, and ready to be done with this convo or wherever it’s leading: “It’s been three years. Let it GO.”

MIL: “The Dems still haven’t let the Mueller investigation go...”

Me: “Uh, yeah, because Trump’s whole administration is filled with crooks and criminals. There’s no statute of limitation on treason....”

**awkward silence while the troglodyte formulates her next retort**

MIL: “Hilary broke the law too.”

Me: “When?”

MIL: “All those emails... What was in them, huh? All this about Trump’s taxes, but what about the emails?!” Meanwhile her voice is getting higher one octave at a time and more shrill the more aggravated she gets. “Oh, I wish Pelosi would just drop dead of a heart attack already and let the man get on with it...”

Me: “Well, someone needs to stop the dictator-in-the-making.”

MIL: “The only thing he’s guilty of is listening to people who lead him astray...”

Me: (fed absolutely TF up to here with her nonsensical, hateful BS) “He’s a terrible human being who has no right to be the leader of anything.”

MIL: ��Why?” (smugly thinking she’s going to catch me unawares)

Me: “For starters, he’s openly xenophobic, homophobic, racist, and sexist regularly, he separates and locks up immigrant children from their parents in what essentially amounts to ice boxes to die of exposure, the unchecked nepotism with his unqualified kids, and don’t even get me started on the wall!”

MIL: “He’s only doing what Obama and Bush Jr. did before him. The only difference is that now people are bitching about it.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

MIL: “Chelsea Clinton and her parents’ NPO.”

Me: “Do you mean Chelsea Clinton who went to school, studied and interned with her parents, both of whom, despite their personal flaws, are some of the greatest political thinkers this century... What is Ivanka doing? Is she Secretary of Handbags? Trump and his children can’t even form cohesive sentences without insulting someone or stuttering that they don’t know!”

MIL: “Trump’s kids all went to school too.”

Me: “Yeah, maybe for business but that has little to do with politics. And we’ve seen what kind of business people they all are... They’re all unqualified and lack any kind of diplomacy abroad. Being able to communicate with other world leaders without insulting them or making a fool of yourself and your nation should be the very least a President is capable of.”

MIL: “Name one world leader or country he’s offended!”

Me: (Forgive me, I’m SHITE at remembering names!) “Germany, England, and France for starters. All historically our allies for the last half-century, at least... He won’t talk about Climate Change, he’s devastated the EPA and National Parks, and he’s plunged us into a national debt in the trillions all while cozying up to some of the world’s most infamous dictators and tyrants... North Korea, Russia, and Saudi Arabia.”

MIL: “The French have never been our allies! All they’ve done is mooch off of our resources...”

Me: “The helped us defeat the British and win the right to declare ourselves an independent nation. So, even if you were right about them being mooches... I think they’ve earned the right.” We’ve pulled up into the driveway at this point and she’s put the car in park to try and stare me down. But I am unwavering because I know my facts and she’s a foot wart at this point...

MIL: “The French helped us kick out the British?” 

She’s incredulous and honestly, so am I because she is exactly the kind of person that I fear most being the child of immigrants, being bisexual, being Latina and multilingual, not being religious, and on top of all that... being so outspoken about all these things. But those people who chant “Build the Wall”, “Speak English, this is America”, or “Go Home” are just like her in the way that they claim with such certainty that this is their country, but don’t know the first thing about its history. And that is both sad and frightening... 

But on the other hand.... 

#BitchesGetShitDONE!!

[richardsonlim63-blog]

Thanks Arthur And Atlanta Movers

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[seerofbread]

So for context, before I started listening to MBMBaM, I saw a couple posts pairing the Mcelroy Boys with this one song I was familiar with. I saw these posts and was like, “Oh, right. The Long Winters. They’re pretty good, I remember listening to them nonstop for a solid two weeks. Did the boys make a reference to this song once in their podcast? Well good on the Long Winters for getting a little bump or whatever.”

As you may know, this was not a one-episode reference. Every single episode opens with It’s a Departure by the Long Winters on their album Putting the Days to Bed and in the middle when they do ads they play a different part of  It’s a Departure by the Long Winters on their album Putting the Days to Bed and at the end they play another piece of  It’s a Departure by the Long Winters on their album Putting the Days to Bed. That’s cool for them, it’s a decent song by a decent artist. It's interesting because I can’t think of anyone else who has ever specifically said “I like listening to The Long Winters” but now Griffin Mcelroy is saying that at the end of every episode.

Unfortunately. I do not, anymore, like listening to The Long Winters.

I believe I mentioned that I listened to their album Putting the Days to Bed for literally two or more weeks with literally no pauses whatsoever. The CD was in the player and was not even paused or opened for MULTIPLE weeks. I don’t immediately remember what was going on in my life but I probably was not un-depressed if I couldn’t bring myself to change the fucking music. Before these weeks, I enjoyed the Long Winters, which is presumably why I decided to put the CD in the player, and I’m pretty sure that I spent the first 10+ days of repeatedly cycling through the Long Winters saying, “I don’t want to change the music anyway. I like the Long Winters! This is good music!”

After these two weeks. The Long Winters stopped being music to me. The album functioned to me like the sound of a distant washing machine, except every time you got through the wash cycle, it repeated without prompting. As far as I was concerned, the beginning of the first track Pushover was just a part of the last track Seven. I must have had some reprieve from this when I left my room but by the end of it I had memorized the entire album so completely that it continued playing in my head, perfectly, while I was gone, and I would come back to the same track that was stuck in my head at that particular moment. I distinctly associate each and every song on the album Putting the Days to Bed with the squishy bitter taste you get in your mouth when you don’t open it for a while and the texture of my shitty white popcorn ceiling. So I’m going to backtrack that “I wasn’t un-depressed” and say “I was definitely very depressed.” Any individual lyric incidentally spoken, such as “In hindsight you’re gonna wish you were here,” or “whatever you do,” would invite the entire album to get stuck in my head starting from, for example, Hindsight or Honest, respectively. Eventually it stopped being a sound at all and started just being a sort of cheese grater for ears, except if it were actually grating you’d think that I would stop having ears to grate.

Now I am once again, let’s say, probably beyond the “not un-depressed” phase, and literally the only thing I can reliably do to keep myself from thinking about how depressed I am, thus making my depression worse, is listening to podcasts. So of course I am just. Binging MBMBaM, constantly. And every thirty minutes I am brought back to this whole sensory situation. And it’s fucking worth it because these boys are so hilarious that the Long Winters is now just kind of gentle sandpaper and I am definitely getting successfully distracted from this awful experience of my mental illness. Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

#breadlife

[emetoandotherthings]

Jesse falling off his skateboard bc he's dizzy and feverish and Cain dragging him to Damian to be patched up who's slightly horrified that Jesse even left the house that morning (which is obvs a bit hypocritical)

A/N: Okay, so this one didn’t turn out to be emeto but more like fevered, angsty hurt/comfort, but I hope you enjoy it! I really really really like writing Jesse and Cain! 

           Either the ground was closer than usual or Jesse had shrunk considerably. Whatever it was,the collision with the concrete was harder than usual, and he was sure he feltthe gravel embedding into his skin as he skidded to a halt, his skateboardshooting off in the opposite direction. There were a few long seconds where itseemed like time had stopped, then pain exploded through his hands, arms andknees – his face felt like someone had grated it with a cheese grater.

           “Jesse!” There was a clatter and then hands were gentlytouching his back; it was his friend Stuart, who must have abandoned his ownskateboard when Jesse fell. “Jesse? Don’t move – just wait for a second.”

           “ ‘m okay…” Jesse mumbled, his face stinging as he pushedhimself up from the ground. The world seemed to spin as he sat upright, andStuart gripped at his shoulders.

           “No, you’re not,” Stuart insisted, “that’s a really nastycut Jesse, you need to get that checked out.”

           “Just…” Jesse felt like his skin was going from burningto freezing on repeat, and he realised he was shaking slightly in Stuart’sgrip. “Just phone Cain, he’ll come and take me home…”

           “If you’re sure.,” Stuart didn’t sound sure, but he didwhat Jesse wished.

           By the time Cain came bursting into the park, Stuart hadmanaged to get Jesse onto a seat, retrieved his skateboard for him, and givenhim a bottle of water for him to sip on. Jesse couldn’t tell why but he knew hewas trembling from head to foot and he felt utterly lousy.

           “Jesse!” Cain rushed across and knelt down in front ofhim, placing his hands gently on Jesse’s thighs. “Oh god what a mess…” Caintook a sharp intake of breath as he saw the deep scrapes across Jesse’s face,peppered with gravel. “What happened?” He asked in concern.

           “I… I fell…” Jesse fumbled with his words, even thoughCain was kneeling right in front of him he was struggling to bring his faceinto focus.

           “Here, I could only find wet wipes,” Stuart returned andpressed the packet into Cain’s hand. “They’ll help until you can get him seen!”

           “Mmm, no…” Jesse mumbled, shaking his head rathersluggishly. “Don’t wanna be ‘seen’.” Cain’s heart was pounding, something wasdefinitely not right – he knew this from the moment he’d seen Jesse.

           “Stuart, did you see him fall?” Cain asked, opening thepacket and peeling a single wipe out then beginning to clean the grazes onJesse’s hands.

           “Yeah, it was a pretty spectacular fall…” He was hoveringbehind Cain, watching as he tenderly began to clean Jesse’s hands.

           “Did he bang his head?” Cain asked. “Or loseconsciousness at all?”

           “I don’t think so,” Stuart replied, sounding worried.

           “I am here – ya know,” Jesse mumbled, but his words raninto one another and made Cain worry more.

           “I know,” Cain tried to sound gentle, and he reached upto caress the side of Jesse’s face that wasn’t cut and bruising; but as soon asCain’s fingers made contact with his boyfriend’s face he recoiled in shock. Hedropped the wet wipe he’d been using and pressed the other hand to Jesse’sforehead. “Jesse!” Jesse flinched suddenly, giving a little jump on his seat.“You’re absolutely burning!” Jesse’s eyes looked sad as he looked down at Cain.“Jesse? How long have you felt like this?” Jesse looked at his knees, bitinghis lip, and Cain could see a glazed brightness in Jesse’s eyes that wasunusual and alarming. Cain tightened his grip momentarily on Jesse’s legs.“Jesse?”

           “A couple of hours…” he admitted in a very quiet voice.“I thought it’d pass when I got some fresh air.”

           “Wait, if you weren’t feeling well why did you come toboard?” Stuart asked, he was still hovering nearby. “You know that’s rulenumber one! We make mistakes when tired or ill!”

           “Oh I know…” Jesse screwed up his face as he groaned inresponse to Stuart’s scolding. “I thought I’d be okay…”

           “Never mind, what’s done is done,” Cain brushed asidethis, as he could now feel his boyfriend trembling under his touch. “I need toget you home, Damian will patch you up, then you can rest.” Cain told Jessefirmly, then he softened: “Oh Jesse…”

           “I’m sorry…” Jesse’s flushed face was upset, he lookedclose to tears.

           “Don’t worry,” Cain was trying to pack Jesse’s skateboardinto his backpack with little success.

           “Why don’t I bring across Jesse’s skateboard when I’mfinished practice?” Stuart suggested helpfully. “So you can concentrate onJesse?”

           “That’d be great,” Cain nodded, “thank you.”

           They’d hardly made it across the street, with Cainsupporting Jesse before he spoke out:

           “I need to sit down,” Jesse’s voice wobbled.

           “Let’s get you along the road and-”

           “No, Cain,” Jesse interrupted and his knees suddenly gaveway beneath him. Gripping him tightly as he could without hurting him, Cainhelped him onto a low wall at the end of someone’s garden. Jesse seemed to knowwhat he was doing because he bent forward, putting his head between his knees.Cain could hear his ragged breathing and Jesse stayed in this position forquite a while; Cain began to wonder whether he should be phoning someone forhelp. Then very slowly Jesse raised his head, his face had gone from flushed topale, and the abrasions on his cheek looked even nastier in comparison.“Sorry…” He mumbled. “I felt faint…”

           “It’s okay Jesse,” Cain reassured, gripping hisboyfriend’s arm. “I just want to get you home, those cuts look like they reallyhurt!” Jesse stayed very still for a moment, then his face screwed up suddenlyand he let out a sob. “Jesse?!” Cain sat on the wall next to him, wrapped hisarm around Jesse’s shoulder and pulled him close in towards him, so Jesse’shead was resting on his chest. “What’s wrong? Come on, talk to me…”

           “I just-” Jesse burbled, tears dribbling down his cheeks.“I really don’t feel well…”

           “Come here,” Cain hugged him tight, rocking slowly backand forwards to try and soothe Jesse, who sniffed and sobbed, dampening thefront of Cain’s t-shirt. “That’s it… It’s okay…” Cain stroked Jesse’s hairgently as he held him, wishing Jesse had told him sooner, and not let himselfget into this state.

           “I – wanna go home…” Jesse sniffed, pulling away fromCain; he looked exhausted.

           “Come on then,” Cain encouraged, “lean on me – and tellme if you need to stop again.”

           “Damian? Are you in?” Cain called as he helped the weakJesse through the front door of their flat, and he was relieved when he heardDamian’s voice respond. “I need you!” Steering Jesse into the kitchen, Cain sathim down in one of the chairs at the table, alarmed as Jesse sagged forwards alittle.

           “What’s up?” Damian appeared at the doorway, his readingglasses still on from him studying. Then he caught sight of Jesse andexclaimed: “Goodness! What happened Jesse?”

           “I just fell… I’ll be fine…” Jesse mumbled, closing hiseyes, but Cain was trying to convey through a look that it was more than just afall.

           “I was hoping you could help patch him up,” Cain saidquietly, and Damian nodded knowingly.

           “There’s a first aid kit in the bathroom, can you get itfor me?” Damian asked, Cain nodded again and went to retrieve it. “This lookslike quite a fall!”

           “Mmhmm,” Jesse didn’t open his eyes as Damian took hold ofhis hands and looked at the angry red scrapes. Cain returned to the kitchen andplaced the first aid kit on the table. Damian opened an antiseptic wipe, thencarefully took hold of Jesse’s hand.

           “This is going to sting a bit,” he warned, but Jesse didn’teven flinch as the wipe was applied to his open cuts. Damian frowned as hecleaned them, Cain stood right behind him, unable to say anything but willingDamian to touch Jesse’s face.

           Eventually Damian finished cleaning Jesse’s hands,affixing a plaster dressing over the deepest cut; then he touched the side ofJesse’s face and almost instantly his expression changed.

           “I’m just gonna check something for a second…” He toldJesse, putting down the wipe he’d been preparing to use; very gently he put hishands right underneath Jesse’s jaw and pressed gently. “Open your mouth forme?” He requested, Jesse did as he was told, his eyes still shut. “Stick yourtongue out at me?” Jesse did, then dissolved into weak coughs.

           “What is it?” Cain asked, unable to bite back his worryanymore.

           “Your glands are all swollen and the back of your throatis inflamed…” Damian was talking to Jesse. “Is your throat sore?” There was apause before Jesse nodded slowly.

           “He nearly fainted on the way home,” Cain interjected.

           “I’m not surprised!” Damian sounded scandalised. “He’sgot a raging fever, and what looks like it could be tonsillitis!”

           “Oh Jesse!” Cain’s heart dropped at hearing how ill Jessereally was.

           “ ‘m fine… Really…” Jesse opened his eyes and they lookedbright with fever.

           “Pffft!” Damianmade a noise of scorn. “Your throat must have been sore yesterday for it to beso red and swollen today!” Jesse looked guilty. “Why did you even go out if youwere feeling like this?”

           “Thought it’d be okay…” Jesse shrugged. “Had worse.”

           “Right, once I’m done cleaning your face, you are goingstraight to bed!” Damian commanded, pricking up the wipe again. “Rest, lots offluids and paracetamol… okay?”

           “Okay…” Jesse agreed, too exhausted and ill to argue withthem.

#my writing #sickfic #fainting #fever #feverish #cuts #abrasions #concerned partner #angst #original character fiction #ocs #Jesse #Cain #Damian #its-a-goddamn-heartbreak

[drawingsanddrabbles]

Joke’s On You

Chapter Four: I’m Starting to Miss Gotham

betaed by @ilovebeingintroverted

links

“Damian!” Damian stumbled backwards as a fifteen year old flung himself at him. Stephanie rolled up behind him, Cassandra strolling beside her. The young Jason Todd disentangled himself from the original Robin and began to… bounce. Damian grimaced at his younger’s enthusiasm. “Are you going to spar with me and take me out on patrol?”

“That is up to Father, Jason.” Damian smiled at the girls and kissed each on the cheek in turn. “It is good to see you both.”

“Like it ever isn’t.” Stephanie snorted.

Damian opened his mouth to reply but Cass interrupted with: “Hug.” Her arms wide open.

“Cassandra, I gave you a kiss. Is that not enough?”

“Hug.”

Damian sighed and hugged his adoptive sister. Stephanie smirked, and made a whipped motion with her hand. Damian rolled his eyes. It wasn’t like his father could deny Cassandra either. When Cassandra was satisfied she released Damian. The four began to walk to the entrance to the Cave.

“So, what brings the prodigal son home?”

“I am hardly prodigal, Stephanie. I simply returned to Gotham to work on a joint business venture with Father. Nothing more. Then I will return to Bludhaven.”

“And how long will you bless us with your presence, kid?” Stephanie asked.

“Why, Stephanie? Sick of me already?”

“Always.”

“Ah.” A clean British voice rang, drawing the attention of the vigilantes. “Master Damian, you have arrived. Have you brought your animals?”

“Not to worry, Pennyworth. My pets are at home with Maya and Colin.”

“Oh! How are they?” Stephanie asked, cheerfully. Last Stephanie had heard of the two young adults Damian had been complaining about how his new penthouse apartment suddenly had more than one human tenant.

“Fine. Colin never puts away the milk and Maya spoils Pennyworth but fine.”

“Pennyworth…”

“My cat, Stephanie.”

“Ah… of course.”  Stephanie didn’t try to hide her giggles. Damian ignored her. They reached the grandfather clock and Damian opened it, chivalrously letting the girls go first. Cass helped Steph’s wheelchair down the rather steep ramp that had been added to allow Steph access to the Cave. Jason bounced after them and Damian closed the door.

“Hey Bruce! Look who came for a visit!” Stephanie called out.

Bruce Wayne sat at the Batcomputer in his suit, cowl down. He didn’t even cock his head towards the newcomers. “And right in time for patrol too.” Bruce added.

Once on less declining ground Steph took control of her wheelchair again and wheeled herself over to Bruce who sat in the large very expensive leather chair at the computer. “Jason, Cass, get dressed.” His two protégés dashed off to get their costumes. “Are you joining us, Damian?” Bruce asked.

The younger Wayne shook his head. “Nice to see you too, Father. No, I think I’ll keep Stephanie company tonight.”

“Suit yourself.” Bruce said before standing and pulling up his mask.

Damian sat in his Father’s recently relinquished chair and squawked indigently when Steph pushed the swivel chair away from the keyboard. The blonde smirked at her old partner who looked very mortified by his own squawking, but Damian recovered quickly and Steph went back to preparing for tonight’s patrol.

“So, on the agenda tonight… Two-Face has been stealing two headed coins, next up on the list of spots for him to hit is Gotham Monetary Museum, -“

“There’s a museum for that stuff?” Jason asked.

“Apparently,”

“Wow, some people need to get a life.”

“Anyway, they’re showing off famously messed up coins, some of which are double headed. After that there’s a fresh green riddle at the GCPD that Commissioner Gordon wants you to take a look at, and finally it seems that Harley Quinn may not be as retired as everyone thinks she is. She put out a ‘wanted ad’ for henchwomen in the latest Gazette’s classifieds.”

“So the usual then,” Bruce said.

“Yep. The usual.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come, Dami? It’ll be fun!” Jason prodded.

“And you’re implying I’m not?” Stephanie huffed. Jason turned a pretty shade of pink and opened his mouth to respond, but Damian interrupted him.

“I’m sure, Jason.”

“Come.” Cass told Robin from behind her sewn up mask. She tugged the bird away from the two at the computers and they all hopped in the Batmobile and rocketed away.

Stephanie pulled up a window on her computer. “Comms on?” She asked into the microphone.

“Batman, check.”

“Batgirl, check.”

“Robin, check.”

“Happy hunting tonight, guys.” Stephanie well-wished them. She then pressed the mute button and turned to Damian. “What is it?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What is what, Stephanie?”

“You never skip out on patrol, what do you want to talk to me about?”

“Can I not just spend some quality time with my ex-partner?” Steph glared at him. Damian sighed. “I wished to know if you were well. Without Father’s imposing presence.”

“Damian, your father has never made me say anything that I didn’t believe a thousand percent. Nor has he stopped me from speaking my mind. And why the sudden interest in my well being?”

“I have always cared about your well being!” Steph raised a shaped eyebrow. “I have!” Damian insisted.

“So the years of merciless teasing and cutting my grapple cord was… flirting?”

Damian looked affronted. “It was never flirting! I was testing you.”

Steph smirked. “Uh huh.”

“Stephanie, I don’t and never have had a crush on you.” It wasn’t technically a lie. He never had a crush on her but he had had a squish of a sort. Not that he’d ever say that word aloud or that he’d tell her or anyone else.

“Your loss.” Steph said flippantly.

“Have you been keeping up on your training?” Damian asked.

Stephanie grinned and made a muscle. “Feel these guns! Hard as rock!” She patted her stomach proudly. “These too, like a friggin cheese grater. C’mon, feel ‘em.”

Damian grimaced. “I’d rather not.”

“C’mon! Feel them!”

“No.”

“Dami…”

“I am not feeling your abdominal muscles, Stephanie.”

Steph stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s just ‘cuz you’re worried they’re better than yours.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“You are incorrigible!”

“But that’s why you love me,” Steph sang.

Damian snorted. “Please, Stephanie. You know I am incapable of love.” It was meant to be a joke. Stephanie and Damian used to joke about his emotional constipation constantly, but that was a long time ago. That was when Timothy was alive. That is, when Timothy was alive and Steph and Damian were talking. Their complicated relationship had been a silent one for most of the time when Steph was dating Damian’s sudden brother, Damian didn’t blame her for the radio silence. Stephanie was Timothy’s girlfriend and so siding with him on arguments came naturally, especially when Damian was being an asshole to Tim, which he was a lot.

Steph inhaled sharply and glanced over at the wall of glass cases. The cases displayed retired costumes, Bruce had a couple in there; Damian’s Robin costume hung there, a drawn katana was positioned to look like his clothing was about to stab someone; Stephanie had two costumes in the wall as well, her Spoiler costume which was retired when she started officially working with Batman and Robin, although it was on the tail end of Damain’s Robin years, and her Batgirl costume; and finally Timothy’s costume, red and green and black, gold colored R symbol.

“The anniversary is coming up.” Steph whispered. “That’s why you asked how I was…”

Damian nodded.

“Well I’m fine, Damian.” She took a deep breath and clearly stated she didn’t want to continue with this topic of conversation.

“Stephanie-“

“I said, I’m fine. I may be a grieving girlfriend but I’m not helpless.”

“I never said you were.”

“’Wing? Oracle? Haven’t heard from you guys in a while. You okay?” Jason asked, slightly out of breath. They must have been chasing someone. Steph jumped from the interruption, both she and Damian had been tuning out the conversation that the Bats had been having on patrol.

Steph turned off the mute button. “We’re good, Rob.”

“Cool. Hey, Oracle, what’s the Knights-Metros score?”

Steph tapped on her keyboard. “9-7.”

“Woo!” Jason cheered on the other line. There was a crack and it sounded like Jason punched a guy out.

“Oracle, Robin, is comms really the place for this conversation?”

“’Course it is, B, what else would we talk about?” Steph asked lazily. Damian smirked.

“And I thought you were the responsible one…”

“Liar.” That was Cass.

Some complaining was heard from the other end of comms, the familiar hoarse voice of Two-Face. “We have Dent. Going to the GCPD to drop him off now.” Bruce said over the comms.

“Have fun.”

The rest of patrol went smoothly, or as smoothly as patrol in Gotham ever was. Harley Quinn was a dead end, despite her ‘wanted ad’ she was nowhere to be found and Poison Ivy wasn’t any help. They decided to call it a night, they could always search for her tomorrow. Bruce rolled back into the Cave with Alfred on hand to begin patching up his employer. Bruce had gotten a nasty scratch across the cheek and Cass had twisted her ankle badly.

“Jason, get into bed.”

“Aw! But Bruce-“

“You have school tomorrow. Bed.”

Jason pouted but slipped out of his uniform and into the pajamas that Alfred had laid out on the operating table that wasn’t currently being used. “You too, young Miss.” Alfred said referring to Cass. Cass limped over to him and the butler handed her a bag of ice for her foot. “Your evening tea is in your room.”

“’Night Alfie! ‘Night Bruce! ‘Night Steph! ‘Night Damian! ‘Night Cass!” Jason called before trudging up the stairs.

Cassandra waved before following him with her bag of ice.

“You should go to bed, too, Steph.”

“You aren’t my dad.”

“Steph…” Bruce sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily.

“I’m a grown woman, Bruce. You have no legal say over me.”

“You aren’t going to win an argument with her, Father.” Damian added. Steph grinned brilliantly at him.

“Steph, can you at least go make sure that Jason is in bed and not smoking.”

Steph opened her mouth to argue but saw the look on Bruce’s face. The one that he was currently directing at Damian. He wanted her gone for another reason. “Fine. But I’m only doing it for him.”

“All patched up, Master Bruce.”

“Thank you, Alfred.” Alfred picked up his first aid gear and joined Stephanie on their way out of the Cave.

Bruce waited until they were both gone and the Cave entrance was closed.  “Damian.”

“Father.”

Bruce stood and walked over to the Batcomputer. He typed something in, and then stood back and crossed his arms. “What do you make of this?”

Damian swerved so that he was in front of the screen and read the headline. His eyebrows began to climb as he scanned the article.

“Someone is toying with us.”

The headline read: OLD NAME, NEW FACE; THE RED HOOD STRIKES AGAIN. The article itself had been written by Vicki Vale. In it she mentioned the recent appearances of a vigilante on the streets saving whomever he happened to come by, and that she had spoken with him before the influx of heroism had happened. He’d spoken to her about Gotham, and for his safety she wouldn’t divulge anything else about their talk. She was interested in what the next few days would bring.

However, neither of the Waynes shared her enthusiasm. “I agree. And...?”

“And they want us to know that.”

“A man named Red Hood begins saving victims. He asks the most famous native reporter about Gotham, why?”

“Red Hood, it’s too much of a coincidence, he must know about his mantle’s past bearers. Asking about Gotham… reporters know things. If you want information, a reporter is a logical place to begin looking.”

“But why not hit the street?”

“Who says he hasn’t?”

“Good point.” Batman frowned.

“Are you contemplating whether or not we should visit Miss Vale?” Damian asked with a raised eyebrow.

Bruce stared at the computer screen for a few more seconds before shaking his head. “Tomorrow. We will deal with this tomorrow.”

Damian nodded. “Will I see you in the morning, Father?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t forget, we have a meeting at noon.”

“I never do.”

“Goodnight, Father.”

“Goodnight, Damian.”

Damian groaned. His phone blared by his ear and he decided that as soon as he went back to the Tower he would kill Jon. The human-Kryptonian had changed Damian’s ringtone again, this time it was the song Rockin’ Robin.

“All the little birdies on Jaybird Street,

Love to hear the Robin go tweet, tweet, tweet.”

Damian grappled for the phone and picked it up. “Hello Jon.” He mumbled groggily.

“Hey Dami. Nice view of your ear.” Huh? Damian blinked the sleep from his eyes and stared at the phone. Oh, they were on video chat.

“Is that Damian? Hi Damian!” Traya called from off camera. She skipped up next to Jon.

“Why have you called at such an ungodly hour?”

“Aww, we woke up Damian. Look, he’s all grumpy.” Jon teased. Traya giggled.

“What do you want?”

“Damian it’s like, ten AM there.”

“Ungodly. Hour.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why are you two awake?”

“We were going to go to the beach with the team.” Jon said.

“But then it was attacked.” Traya added.

“And the others are taking care of that, so we thought this might be a good time to call you.” Jon concluded.

The team still hated Damian, not that Damian blamed them. Damian wasn’t exactly the kindest to their now late best friend. “You called me. In the morning. To say ‘hi’.” The disbelief in Damian’s voice was evident.

“Can’t we miss our friend?” Jon pouted.

“You totally love that we do.” Traya added, sticking out her tongue.

Damian rolled his eyes. “Damian? Are you awake?” The hero heard from outside his door.

“No. Go away.” Damian responded.

Stephanie opened the door and rolled in. “Who is that?” Traya asked.

“Who are you talking to?” Steph said as she rolled up to Damian’s bed.

“No one. Go away.” Damian repeated to her. Stephanie ignored him and took his phone away.

“Hey Trays! Hey Jono! How are you?”

“Stephanie!” Traya cried happily.

“We’re great! Man, we’ve missed you Steph. You ever going to visit again?” Jon asked.

Steph shrugged. “Maybe, I’m a little grounded lately.”

“Aw that sucks.”

“Miss you too, so is this business or pleasure?” Damian rolled his eyes. Of course, Steph would walk in during a personal call from his friends and take the phone away from him.

“Actually, it’s a little of both.” Wait, what?

“You didn’t say this before.” Damian said as he shoved himself into the frame.

“Yeah…” Jon looked at Traya sheepishly.

“You wanted to bring it up.” Traya said, nudging her friend.

Jon turned back to the camera. “Ollie brought over his new protégée two days ago.” Damian knew where this was going. They’d had this conversation before. “His name is Roy, and he’s thirteen.”

“No.”

“Damian-“

“I said no.”

Steph looked at Damian confused. She had no idea what he was talking about, and Damian didn’t want to get into it with her. “Damian at least hear us out…” Jon began.

“No.”

“Dami, what are they talking about?” Steph asked as Traya mumbled to Jon: “I told you he wouldn’t go for it.”

“Nothing. Jon, we will discuss this later.” Damian said as he ended the call to Jon’s protest and Traya’s look of disappointment.

“Damian, what was that about?”

“Nothing.”

“Damian, they were talking about the new Speedy, why was mentioning that he was thirteen important?”

“No reason. Jon thinks random facts are important.”

“This is about Jason.”

Damian grimaced and began to get ready for the morning. “Are you here for a reason?”

“Yeah. Why is this about Jason? You-“ Steph’s eyes widened. “You’ve told the team, right? You told them that Jason is Robin.”

“I didn’t have to.” Damian began brushing his teeth.

“Damian…”

“They may not like me, but they aren’t stupid. They heard that Robin was back out there and went to Jon and Colin, who caved because they’re spineless. The three brats haven’t spoken to me since, and I don’t blame them.”

“But they haven’t met.”

“Jason is not ready.”

“Jason is ready.”

“No, he isn’t.”

“You just want to pretend he isn’t because that means that you can still train him.” Steph snapped. “You want to keep him at home. You want to keep him safe. Well guess what Damian, you. Can’t. Save. Everyone.”

“But I can save him!”

Steph sighed, rubbing her eyes wearily. “No, Damian. You can’t, because he doesn’t need to be saved. Now go take a shower and I’ll tell Alfred to make you breakfast to go.”

“Don’t bother. It’s late enough that I have to meet Father for lunch soon anyway.”

Steph sighed and wheeled out of Damian’s room. Damian stripped before taking a shower. He probably dawdled a little in there but hey, he could speed to the appointment. After a blissfully hot shower came shaving, then after that came dressing. Damian dressed slowly, taking time to mull over what Stephanie had yelled at him. He’d avoided thinking about it in the shower so that he could have a peaceful half an hour but now it was all he could think about.  You can’t save everyone. Damian smoothed out his button-down shirt. But he could. He could save Jason. He could keep him safe. It was his responsibility. He doesn’t need to be saved. He might not need to be saved but maybe Damian needed to save him…

Damian groaned, now Stephanie had gotten into his head. Damian hated when she did that. He began knotting the blue tie around his neck. Why did he ever listen to her? Shit, he messed up the knot. Damian angrily undid what he had done and tried again when someone knocked on his door.

“Come in.”

“Need help?” Cassandra asked.

“No.” Damian lied. He was too distracted to tie his accessory correctly and Cassandra realized it. She walked over to her brother and took the cloth from his hands.

“Upset.”

“I know Stephanie is upset, I won’t apologize, I do not believe I did anything wrong.”

“You.”

“Oh.” Damian hated when she did that. “Yes, I suppose I am upset.”

“Why?”

“Jason…”

“It’s always about Jason.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Okay?”

“Yes, he’s okay.”

“No. You and Steph.”

“Oh. Okay as always I guess.”

“Hate when you fight.” Cassandra finished with the tie. She stood back admiring her work before giving a final approving nod.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Say sorry to Steph. Not me.”

“Fine.” But only for you.

“Meeting.” Cassandra reminded him. Damian nodded and he walked downstairs with her. On his way down he walked past Stephanie who was doing something that Damian didn’t want to care less about.

“I’m sorry. But I can’t let him go.” Damian told the blonde. Steph looked up and then looked at Cass, then back at Damian.

“Go see your father, Damian.” She told him. “And I accept your apology.”

“I only apologized to you for Cassandra!” Damian called as he walked towards the door.

“I know!” Steph responded.

“Goodbye Alfred.”

“Farewell, Master Damian. Will you be back before dinner?”

“Yes. I’m taking the black Jaguar.”

“Very well Master Damian.”

“So, we’re all in agreement?” Bruce Wayne asked as he took a sip from his glass of water. Lucius Fox munched on his dessert merrily while his daughter Tamara shifted through folders. Tamara had been invited because Lucius wanted his daughter to be able phase easily into her soon-to-be-new job doing whatever Lucius did for Bruce (even Damian wasn’t sure where Lucius’s job requirements ended) only for Damian in Bludhaven.

“Yes, sir.” Tamara decided. She finished up sorting the papers and neatly placed her used utensils on her used plate, discarded napkin with them.

Bruce Wayne clapped his hands together gaily. Despite Damian living with his father for more than half of his life he was still weirded out by his father using his Bruce Wayne persona. The happiness and the light tones… it was just wrong. “Good! We’re all settled, then. Lucius, Tamara, would you like a ride back to the office?” Bruce Wayne waved his hand in the air, signaling the waitress that they would like their check.

“Actually, I was hoping to speak to you Mister Wayne.” Tamara said. Bruce waved his hand in a ‘go on’ motion and gave his credit card the waitress tipping her fifty.

“Oh! I meant Damian, sir. Damian… Mister Wayne. And… privately.” Bruce raised an eyebrow and Lucius sent a quizzical look to his daughter.

Damian nodded and stood. “Of course, Miss Fox. Would you like to discuss this on the way to my car? I could drive you to the office afterwards.”

“Uh… sure.” Tamara said, as she swept up her papers. Damian held the door for her and the two of them left the café.

Tamara held her work to her chest. She wore a blazer and a pair of suit pants, dark heels clicking against the pavement. She was nice, and Damian liked her a lot. She was younger than him, and the way she seemed to be optimistic about her future… it reminded him too much of Timothy. They would have been friends if they had ever met. “What did you wish to talk about?” He asked her.

“Um, so we’re going to be working together in Bludhaven.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Very closely.”

Damian raised an eyebrow. “Yes… we are.”

“And, well, I don’t know much about you.”

Damian frowned. Was this supposed to be a problem? “I know about you.”

Tamara sighed. “Mister Wayne, Damian, I know that you have a very close circle of friends. I know that you have a very private life. But if I am going to work for you I need to trust you.”

“Why wouldn’t you trust me, Tamara?”

“Call me Tam. I don’t trust you because you don’t even pretend to pretend.”

“Huh?”

“I know Bruce Wayne, and my father trusts him. My father has been telling me work stories of his since I was little, I’ve known him for that long as well. Damian, I know that Bruce fakes it. I know that he isn’t as happy and as flirtatious as he pretends. I’m not stupid. But the difference between you and your father is that your father pretends, you don’t even try. So, I don’t trust you. I want to trust you, Damian. I really do.”

Damian judged Tamara. For the first time, he really paid attention. She was a tall woman, but not taller than him, definitely not taller than six feet, with the heels maybe five nine. She was dressed well but not to impress him, she wasn’t about that. She held her back straight, tall, she was confident. “What do you suggest? I assume you have an idea to… bond?”

“Dinner.” Tamara proposed.

Damian nodded his head through an alley. “This way.” He and Tamara began to walk down the alley when they heard the click of a gun. You have got to be kidding me… Damian rolled his eyes and turned around.

“I would put down the gun if I were you.” He told the mugger.

The gun was steady. So, he wasn’t afraid. Damian had a knife in his sleeve but getting closer to disarm him would be less suspicious. Tamara looked frightened. Okay, that was unexpected. He figured she would at least have an iron stomach with the way she spoke. “Yer that rich Wayne dude, right?” The finger around the trigger tightened. “Gimme yer wallet.”

“Really? Like I’ve never been held up before…”

“C’mon, Damian, just give him your wallet.” Tamara urged, a hint of tightness in her voice.

“Yeah, man. Listen to yer girl.”

“She is not my ‘girl’, and I will not give you my-“ Thwack! Damian was glad he was used to the unforeseen because someone hitting the mugger with a baton and disarming him in one motion was not anything he expected to happen. Tamara screaming in surprise. A man in a jacket, cargo pants, and a red motorcycle helmet disassembled the gun with military precision. He hit the mugger in the back of the knee with his baton and the mugger went down like a ton of bricks. The Red Hood whipped a zip tie out of his pants pocket and restrained his hands behind his back. Damian frowned, he was good. He had done this before. His proficiency dealing with the mugger… it was familiar somehow. Like he’d learned from a ninja or an assassin. Then a thought occurred to Damian… no. No.

But it fit, the reason the Red Hood made Damian and his father know he existed, the reason the Red Hood chose a name so personal to the Waynes, the reason the Red Hood was so good at fighting…

The Red Hood looked up at Tamara and Damian. He nodded to Tamara. “Miss Fox.” He glanced at the Wayne heir and stared at him unnervingly through the mask. “Damian.”

That settled it. He had been sent here by Damian’s grandfather, which meant that Damian had some family members to track down.

Damian had demanded to come with on patrol. He and his Father sat on the rooftop of some warehouse while Cassandra and Jason dealt with the thugs on the ground below them. The Waynes had muted their comms so that they could speak in peace, which surprised no one. They usually took times like these to talk, that is when they were talking. “You’re sure that he’s connected to Ra’s?” Bruce asked.

Damian nodded. “I’d recognize Grandfather’s fighting style anywhere. He was trained by him, and you know that if my Grandfather trains someone, they work for him as well. You haven’t had run ins with him yet?”

“Never. Not as a civilian, nor as the Batman.”

Damian frowned. “That doesn’t bode well, Father. Do you think he’s trying to bait me?”

Bruce shook his head as he watched Jason dodge gunfire before taking away the offending weapon and bashing the thug over the head with it. “If he were trying to bait you we’d know. But his connection to the League of Assassins is concerning.”

“I concur. Do you think we should inform the others? For protection’s sake?”

“Not yet. We don’t know enough.”

“Understood.”

There was a pause. “Nightwing?”

“Yes, Father?”

“Maybe have Maya look into it. Quietly.”

“Already done.”

Batman snorted. “Yeah, you’re definitely my kid.” They both clicked their comms off of mute.

There was a sharp crack and a yowl and both heroes glanced over at Jason, who stood with a seething look on his face that Damian only recognized too well. It had been his natural facial expression for his first four years as Robin. That didn’t look good. Cassandra had defeated her foes on the ground but Jason kicked his opponent over again, screaming words that were in no way proper. Batman and Nightwing were there at once. Damian picked up the child, who fought him kicking and screaming.

“Robin! Robin! Calm down!” Damian hissed in his ear. Jason stopped flailing but that cheerful child that had greeted Damian at the door the day before was gone.

Jason wiggled from Damian’s grip. “He deserved it, ‘Wing! You didn’t hear what he was saying! About Oracle! About Batgirl! He deserved every broken bone!” The young boy shouted.

“Robin.” That was Cass’s warning tone, but Jason ignored it.

“Don’t look at me like that ‘Wing! You would have done the same thing if you had been Robin!” Damian couldn’t argue with that, but Damian had done a lot of things while Robin that he would never repeat.

Batman stood from his assessment of the broken man on the ground. “He’s unconscious but he’ll be fine. What were you thinking?” Bruce growled.

“I was protecting Oracle’s honor! I was protecting your honor! Besides, a man like that doesn’t deserve to have a working hand.”

“That isn’t for you to decide.”

“You break people’s bones all the time!”

“Not maliciously!” Batman snapped. Jason looked affronted. “You’re grounded, Robin. No going out for a week.”

“But B-!”

“I said, you’re grounded. We do not kill, we do not maim.” Damian had heard this speech before. “And we do not let our feelings get in the way of our crime-fighting, is that understood?”

Jason huffed. “Yeah. You’ve made that really clear, you coward.” Then he turned on his heel and ran.

Bruce sighed and rubbed his face wearily. “Nightwing, could you…?”

“Go after him?” Damian finished when Bruce wouldn’t.

“Yeah. Sure.”

Damian shook his head as they heard Stephanie plain as day in their ears say: “Jeez, B, get over the emotional constipation and relate to someone for a change.” Which Bruce ignored.

“Fine.” Damian agreed before jogging off in the direction of Robin.

“D, you shouldn’t be doing this.”

Damian agreed with Stephanie, but he didn’t respond. Instead he followed the telltale sounds of Jason’s breathing through the comms and the yellow tail of his cape. Wait a second… Damian stopped jogging and listened. That… moron. That moron! Jason has muted his comms! Damian took out his tracker-receiver. Unbeknownst to almost anyone he knew, besides his father and probably Alfred, Damian had placed a tracker in the Robin suits. Just in case.

Damian found him on the roof of a condemned building not far from where the boy had first met Batman. At the time Damian would have found the story amusing, but he had been preoccupied by yelling at his father for allowing another innocent child to be put in harm’s way. Damian didn’t speak, just took the box of cigarettes from Jason’s hands and tossed them over the side of the building. Jason didn’t even resist, just took an angry drag on the one that burned away in his hands.

“Of course, he sent you.” Jason mumbled.

“Stop poisoning yourself.”

“Because smoking is the only health risk of mine.” Jason snorted. “Can’t even deal with someone angry at him, no wonder everyone stays away from Gotham.”

“That has less to do with his incompatibility with others and more to do with his overbearing nature.”

“Overbearing? Really? Wonder when I start to deserve ‘overbearing’.”

Damian frowned. “You know he cares, right?”

“Uh huh. Caring, that’s it.” Jason sighed. “It’s not that I’m ungrateful or anything. You’re all great and stuff,”

“No.” Damian said. “I know he is emotionally distant, but-”

“And don’t you say that this is about Tim.” Damian snapped his mouth closed immediately. “Look I get it. You’re all still sore about it, I understand that, I do. But with him it’s like no one will ever take Tim’s place and god forbid anyone tries to take up his mantle. To honor him.”

“That’s why you’re doing this? To honor Timothy?”

“It’s his anniversary around now. That’s why B’s extra cranky.” Jason mumbled, extinguishing his cigarette beneath his boot.

“Three days.”

Jason scowled. “Sometimes I wish he never died.”

“You aren’t the only one.”

“Sometimes I wish he never existed.”

He wasn’t the only one who had ever wished that either. Damian didn’t speak.

“Aren’t you supposed to calm me down and tell me everything will be alright? That Batman is right for grounding me, but I am right for defending the family’s honor?” The words were spiteful.

“No. I don’t do that.”

“Of course you don’t. No one in this fucking family does. ‘Cept Steph.”

“Is that what you’re angry about? That we don’t hold your hand?” Damian snapped.

“No! I’m angry because-…” Jason growled before trying again. “I’m angry because…”

“Can’t express your emotions?” Damian asked with a raised eyebrow. “Welcome to the family.”

Jason didn’t look at Damian.

“Uhh, guys? Sorry to interrupt but looks like there’s a crime in process, Red Hood is there.” Steph called from the other ends of the comms.

“Where?” Batman asked through the comms.

“March and Main.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Forget it, Robin and I’ll do it. We’re closer.” Damian said. Jason nodded in agreement and the two of them took off.

“Alright.” Bruce said softly through the comms. Then, as an afterthought: “Be careful.”

They arrived at the scene in the middle of a battle. The Red Hood was ducking under Harley Quinn’s mallet, her gang of cronies unconscious and restrained. Jason began to lunge into the fight but Damian stopped him. “Let’s see what the Red Hood’s got.”

“B told you about him, huh?” Jason asked, arms crossed as he watched Harley hit the Hood square on the mask, the man flying backward. Damian nodded.

Hood stood up and tensed, preparing to attack. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS HARLEY!” He shouted. That was… unexpected. Harley laughed and lunged. The Red Hood dodged, fists clenched. “Harley! Please! He’s using you!”

“My Puddin’ loves me more than anyone ever could!”

“You said you weren’t going to go back to him! You said-“

“And they call me crazy!” Harley laughed, heaving her mallet over her shoulder. “I’d never say that about my Puddin’!”

“Harley! Please! Think about Ivy!”

“Red’s fine with it! If she had a problem she’d tell me!” The psychotic doctor roared, mallet once again aimed at the Red Hood’s head. Red Hood ducked and slammed Harley against a building, hand around her throat. She struggled to raise her mallet and hit him again but he batted the weapon away simply.

“If you’re so close then tell me where he is! Tell me what he’s planning!” Huh. Why would Hood care what Joker was planning?

“I ain’t never gonna betray my Puddin’ for a shlump like you!”

“Harley…”

Jason leapt forward, dodging Damian’s attempts to keep him from the fight. “Let her go!” He shouted, his body seemed to shake with righteous fury. The Red Hood turned, looking first at Robin then at Nightwing. He dropped Harley and the woman scrambled for her weapon.

Red Hood stared at Damian for an uncomfortable amount of time, eyes behind the red mask locked. Harley grabbed hold of her weapon and let out a deathly war cry, but the Red Hood dropped a smoke bomb and Harley went right through it, confused by the fact that she hadn’t hit her target. By the time the smoke dissipated, the Red Hood was gone.

“Why did you do that?” Damian asked Jason.

Robin scowled. “He was going to kill her!”

“You don’t know that! We could have gotten more information about him!”

“You don’t know that!”

Damian groaned. “~tt~, Fine. Go arrest Harley.”

Jason continued to scowl at Nightwing but did what he was told. Once in custody Harley was a lot less talkative than she had been with the Red Hood, so there was no information to be gotten there. Not even by Batman. The four vigilantes left the GCPD and Jason and Cassandra were sent home for bed.

Bruce and Damian turned off their comms as they did one last sweep of Gotham. The older Wayne’s silence was more telling about his thoughts than him talking would have been. “You’re worried about Robin.” Damian stated.

Bruce didn’t look at his son. “He’s out of control.”

“No, he isn’t. Not yet.”

“Nightwing…”

“He isn’t. Isn’t that what people used to say about me? That I was out of control?”

“They were right.”

“But I still turned out fine. Father, do not take Robin away from him. Don’t. I do not think he could handle it.”

“Then what do you suggest? Because I’m at the end of my rope.”

Damian fiddled with his hands. “He’s lonely, Father.”

“I know.”

Damian couldn’t believe he was saying this. “I could always…”

“You could always…?”

“I hear there’s a new Speedy on the Superhero-ing block.”

Batman looked at him for a second before replying. “Oh.”

“They aren’t that far apart age-wise.” There was a silence. “Flamebird suggested it.”

“Have you taken him to the Tower yet?”

“No.”

Another pause. “Still not talking?”

“I don’t know how they’ll react.”

Batman nodded. “Not yet. We need to talk this over.”

“I knew you’d say that.”

“Brief me on Hood.”

“Trained. He’s looking for the Joker, trying to figure out what he’s planning.”

“Let me know how that goes.” Bruce said cynically.

“He was trying to talk Quinzel down. He mentioned Isley.”

“By name or-“

“As Ivy.”

Bruce nodded, a frown appearing. “What?” Damian asked. “What is it?”

“How long are you staying in Gotham?”

“Depends. Any Wayne Enterprises emergencies in the near future?”

“I’m sure Alfred can arrange something.”

“Father.” Ra’s looked up to his daughter walking in. She held a newspaper between her hands and she handed it to him. Ra’s Al Ghul read the Gazette’s latest headline.

“I see. Talia, gather the team. It’s time we brought the Little Detective home.”

#diana writes #diana writes batman #joke's on you #diana writes dc #damian wayne #robin!reversal #jason todd #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #ra's al ghul

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Rain, English & A City Without Cars

September 17th, 2017

Belgium is a very grey country, so I find days like today exceptionally beautiful. It’s odd since I personally happen to prefer cloudy weather, but while I love my cloudy Belgium, those days where the sun comes for a quick visit are still quite wonderful ^^. Especially since it’s been a week full of temperamental rain. Rain here is odd in the sense that it isn’t consistent, it could be raining like the end of the world, but then five minutes later it’s not even sprinkling? As someone from California, (where rain itself is odd) it’s going to take some getting used too, but I can already tell that I like this a lot better than California heat. This week hasn’t exactly been the most eventful so I won’t cover everyday, but I’ll touch on the main things. For one thing, they changed our Schedules and the one I got is complete and utter trash. Like I know my last schedule wasn’t the best out there, but it sure was way better than the one I have now. It’s almost like they shredded my old schedule and tried to piece it together again. Y'all are probably confused so let me explain. Basically, in my previous schedule I got out of school two hours early on monday and tuesday, but I don’t get out early at all anymore. Now I just start school two hours late on Mondays, but I still have to get up at the same time because of the bus. Speaking of buses, if it wasn’t for a girl in my Bio class, I don’t think I would’ve gotten to school or home on Thursday and Friday XD. Due to the Fête de Wallonie, the buses got moved around a bit so I’m so lucky that we take the same bus cause I would’ve been so screwed without her. I’d like to think that I’m getting used to the bus system, but the fact that I only know how to use on of the lines is a bit of a reality check XD. School has been pretty good, the fact that it’s mostly indoors is a blessing with all the rain that goes on here. I have to say that I’m not a big fan of the stairs though. It’s also kinda nice to have a locker even if I choose not to use it. The classes themselves are getting millimeters easier as the days pass, which is good because I happen to enjoy actually knowing what’s going on XD. I’m glad to report that my French, History/geography, and Religion teachers are all super chill ^^, especially my French teacher which is really nice since I’m definitely not very good when it comes to that class. I Manage (with a lot of help) though, which is pretty good for now and it can only get better from here! It kinda makes me sad that my level of French isn’t high enough to understand everything because he seems like a funny guy ;-;. Not to mention, that the book we’re reading seems like it’s so well written from what I can get out of it and I can’t even fully enjoy it. I can definitely say that I like it better than most stuff they make us read in California though. If anything, the only class I have a “problem” with is definitely English (which also happens to be my favorite) cause while I didn’t expect the class to be like my English classes back in Cali, I didn’t expect to have to actually learn to read that gibberish phonetic thing from the dictionary. Nor did I expect to have better English than my teacher, which I should have seen coming. It’s weird being taught by someone who isn’t fluent, but I’ve definitely  learned and noticed some things that I never knew/did before. The one problem I have with the class is that, while she asked me and Kaspars to correct her if she’s wrong, it’s not just a quick thing? She always gets pretty defensive and we end up having this long discussion about it all while she tries to convince us that she’s right even when she’s obviously not? Like once she said that “Pot” and “Cup” made the same sound and literally everyone in the class was confused, but it still took us a while to convince her of her mistake -_-. I don’t fault for any of this since it must be hard for her to be corrected in front of her class, but it gets a bit annoying sometimes. Once she brought up Shakespeare to defend herself and I was just like …ok? But other than that, it’s a good class except sometimes I feel like she gives us work that’s a little above the level of the other students. Yesterday, we spent sometime in Louvain la Neuve which was really nice cause I had some really good Peach  gelato and got a quick glimpse of city life without cars. I really wish I took some pictures, but I guess there’s always the internet.

See y’all next Sunday, 

Raychel

(P.S Yes I know its Monday morning, but Tumblr ran my original post through a cheese grater so)

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