#I respect the nerve it takes to pursue a writing career

[miss-mishka]

Ever borrow a title on Kindle Unlimited that was so bad you want to return it along with every other title you've currently borrowed while you re-evaluate your life choices?

#I mostly read trashy lgbtqia+ romances #I go in with the lowest of expectations when it's an unfamiliar author #trashy does not mean it gets to be garbage #not naming the book because I feel bad enough about the 1 star review I left it #it deserved less than 1 star and the review was honest but I tore it down #I often wonder after I vent if I should have been that scathing #but it was bad #if I had any sense that the author took constructive feedback I would have tried that but I see a history of bad reviews #seemingly no improvement in the author's work with an abundance of titles #can't believe they get any positive feedback but we all have family and friends willing to say nice things or give an A for effort #I'm not that family member or friend #if it's good I will rave #but when it's bad #I will question your sanity and motives for letting that attempt see daylight #I respect the nerve it takes to pursue a writing career #maybe just practice you craft on a free site first #and don't quit your day job

[spamgyu]

the apartment we won't share // jeonghan one shot

DESCRIPTION: Jeonghan had only broken his promise to you once and he swore to himself he would never put you through that again, even if it meant promising to watch you walk in to another man's arms. PARING: Jeonghan x Reader GENRE: Angst NOTE: Took inspiration from Wooshik and his attendance at his ex's wedding. You have been warned. hehe

Highly recommend listening to the following while you read: the apartment we won't share - niki oceans & engines - niki alright bye enjoy! xx

Adjusting his hair in front of the mirror one last time, Jeonghan let out a puff of air – trying his best to shake away his nerves.

He had been preparing himself for this day for years now, keeping his promise to you that he would not miss out on attending one of the biggest days of your life. Though, he had always thought that when this day rolled around, it would be just like any other celebration – as if he was just attending yet another wedding of his friend's.

And it was; you were his friend.

A friend who he once knew better than himself; now only settling for the updates he would receive every few months, or through your social media posts.

A friend he had once loved entirely, promising you of forever that he had unfortunately had to take back after three years of pure bliss.

A friend who willingly let him pursue his dream, cutting him loose from the ties of a relationship.

The two of you were far too young at the time, both with a promising future that awaited for either one of you. It would have been a stupid decision to try to make a relationship, that was clearly set up to fail, work – with his idol career taking off and your acceptance into law school.

You two may have been young, but not foolish – there was no second guessing that the end had come that random winter night. It was far better ending it while the two of you still had so much love for one another; rather than waiting for the relationship you two had cherished so dearly to implode on itself.

"You're going to meet a great guy one day, Y/n." Jeonghan sniffled, using his thumb to wipe the tear that had fallen from your eye. "And I hope– I hope that one day, I'll be there to see you marry him." "It's not going to hurt?" Your lips quivered; unable to fathom the idea of standing at the end of the aisle with anyone else but him. He shook his head. "I'll be your number one fan." Jeonghan knew it was going to hurt, but what was he to do? The universe didn't write for your story to have any further chapters. Your love story was short, but it was sweet and it will forever be something he would hold near and dear to his heart. The end had come and it was done out of love and respect. "I'll do the same for you too, you know – all the milestones, I'll be there. I promise." "I don't doubt it."

You never did break your promise – attending all the big events in his life. Their first stadium concert, their first day of sold out dome tours across the sea, their first show in the western hemisphere; there wasn't a single one you missed.

In the midst of the crowd of unrecognizable faces, he was always able to pick yours out; cheering loudly for him and his found family.

Just as all their other close family and friends.

Because that was what you were; a friend.

Just as you were there to celebrate him, Jeonghan had been there when you had passed the bar, when you became partner at the firm you had met your future husband, and more importantly... he was there to celebrate your engagement.

He remembered the sour taste that lingered in his mouth as he tired his best to swallow the drink he babysat in his hand; watching you mingle with the family he had come to know in the years he had been in your life.

Jeonghan remembered crying in the arms of his roommate that night as reality had set in – five years too late.

It wasn't like he had plans to rekindle the fire that once burned so passionately between the two of you, but god did it hurt.

He swore he was over it – he had to be. You two were nothing but a memory in each other's lifetime; there was no going back to change the painful fate that your story faced.

But Jeonghan was also human and he couldn't help but grieve the 'what if's'; blaming not only himself but the universe for having meeting you a little too early in his life.

Because if truth be told, if you had come into his life now, there was no way he would have let you go. He now had reached a level of maturity and fame where he was able to protect you from the outside forces he once couldn't imagine putting you through.

"Ready?" Seungkwan popped his head into the doorway.

Smoothing out his blazer, Jeonghan turned to his roommate with a tight lipped smile. "Let's get this over with."

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．

Bringing his hand up to knock on the wooden door, Jeonghan chewed on his bottom lip as he heard the rustling sound – it was only a matter of seconds before he would see you, his heart unable to slow down in the anticipation.

He hated that he had promised to see you before the ceremony; unable to ever tell you 'no'. He would always fulfill his promises to you, all because he had broken one all those years ago.

A gush of air had hit his face when one of your bridesmaid opened the door – yet another wave of reality hitting him.

This time it felt like he had gone under, the water swallowing his body. The second he caught you standing at the corner of the room, he felt as though he was trying to swim up to the surface – his lungs slowly filling with water at the sight of you looking beautiful in an off-white dress.

The hired make-up artist had done a wonderful job highlighting your now matured features; Jeonghan taking in how much time had changed you with each step he took. He never did spend too long looking at your pictures when he scrolled throught your instagram, not wanting the demons in his head to consume him.

It was as if he had seen you for the first time.

"You make a beautiful bride." He grinned as he stopped a few feet from you, shoving his shaky hands into his pockets.

"Thank you." You mirrored his soft smile.

The two of you held each other's gaze in silence, knowing that you weren't only thanking him for the compliment but for so much more.

You two may have drifted apart, now living in two completely different worlds, but you were still able to read him – quite well. You could see how he tried to hide the pain behind his eyes; silently sending him your apologies through yours.

Jeonghan shook his head, taking your left hand in his – his thumb brushing against the rock that sat on your ring finger. "Don't worry about me."

"Don't be stupid," You let out a scoff. "I'll always worry about you."

"Not today," He gave your hand a squeeze. "Today is about you."

"Ten minutes!" Your maid of honor announced from across the bridal suite – not just for the two of you, but for everyone else who had been lounging about, waiting for their cue.

"I should go and find a seat." Jeonghan took this announcement as his sign to bid you a farewell; his mind silently thanking the universe for giving him an out before the tears began to pool in his eyes.

"I'll see you later?"

"I'll be here until the very end of the reception." He reassured, leaning into give you a hug. He didn't care of the possibility of wrinkling the silk off shoulder dress – this was the one and only time he was allowing himself to be selfish.

It had been so long since he felt you in his arms, and for once he felt him surface the water – breathing in all the oxygen he needed for when the other waves in the horizon would hit.

You didn't quite fit in his arms the same way you had before; he wanted to dismiss it as maybe it was the suit, or maybe the fact that there were eyes on the two of you. But deep down, Jeonghan knew – he knew it was because you were no longer meant to be his. You hadn't been in a long while.

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．

The slow tempo of the piano echoed throughout the room, signaling for all the attendees that the time had come.

Behind the large wooden doors, you were stood holding all your favorite white flowers, a lace trimmed veil sitting perfectly atop your head – ready to take your next few steps into your new future.

As the two venue planners pulled the door open to reveal you, Jeonghan saw the ten foot wave in the distance – bracing himself for impact as he waited for the voice of hired singer to fill the air.

Your cue to begin your walk down the aisle.

Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help, Falling in love with you.

There was that wave.

Stumbling back where he stood, Jeonghan allowed for the water to drag him down with each step you took. All the pain he had overcome when he had first grieved the end of your relationship had come back again – only this time, images of what could have been began to flash before his eyes.

The house you two would never purchase, the daughter you two had once jokingly picked out a name for, the ring he never picked out, the dog you two had dreamt of adopting – they all stood dry at the sand while the waves continued to crash against him.

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?

You were now half way down the aisle, your eyes remaining trained on the man who waited at the end with tears flowing quickly down his face – except unlike Jeonghan's tears, his were out of pure happiness.

Jeonghan wanted to look away; hell, he wanted to make a run for it – but he couldn't.

He promised.

He had broken his promise before, and he had regretted this since – he didn't want to break another.

Even if it pained him.

As you reached the very end of the aisle, he felt his body hit the sea floor – no longer fighting for a chance to hit the water's surface.

There was no reason to.

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@thegirlwhoimagined @forcheol @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim @pluviophile-xxx @daegutowns @niktwazny303 @fragmentof-indifference @leah-rose03 @haolistic @eclliipsed @joshuahongnumbers @gyuguys @yaaaridk @christinewithluv @yoonzinoooo @livelikejinki @watercolureyes @whoa-jo @primoisellerose @wonwoobestboyy @rakshithanotrao @mingcouper @aksweet7 @nikkell @raginghellfire @kriizztin @doubleshoticedshakenespresso @porridgesblog @bbysnw

(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)

#don't fight me you guys asked for this #the jeonghan fic that has been long overdue on my page tbh #anyways heheehehhehee #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan angst #jeonghan x oc #jeonghan x you #jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan fic #seventeen fic #svt fic #svt angst

[hopelessromantic1352]

New Beginnings- Chapter 8

Well, after two years, chapter 8 is here. Let me tell you right now, it got out of hand 🤣 it’s a long one, but I hope it is worth it! These two are so easy to write. There’s jealous Thomas in here, sweet Thomas, and a little angry Thomas.

Word count: 3,797

Warnings: None, light swearing

Perma tags: @drstrange46ers

Thomas tags: @alleksa16 @alj4890 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @choicesmakemychoices @marycarrillo21 @lxaah11 @kuladekiwi @ajayismybae @choices-dan @miss-indecisive-says @mfackenthal @ethanplaysfavorites @amillionmoonsred @usuallyamazinglyaverage @thethots-plicken @hhiggs @jlpplays1 @lilyoffandoms

It seemed as though the two weeks leading up to Thomas securing a studio and finalizing the cast went by much faster than Natalia expected. They spent everyday working together unless he had meetings to attend for securing funding or something else Natalia had no business being a part of.

Each night that wasn’t spent working was usually spent with the two tangled together on his couch watching movies or talking and laughing together. Both have opened up to each other in ways they never expected each other to and they’ve become even closer. But Thomas has respected her wishes of taking things slow. Nothing intimate has happened between them besides his fiery kisses that always left her wanting more. And she had no idea how much it drove him crazy to simply hold her in his arms.

An hour before filming

Thomas is speaking with Holly and Addison when Natalia arrives on the set. Thomas decided it would be best if they didn’t arrive together. At first, it seemed slightly ridiculous to Natalia, after all she’s staying in his guest house.

Nevertheless, he was adamant. He wants to protect her reputation, most likely his as well, and he wants this production to go smoothly. And of course, so does she. After understanding where he was coming from, she agreed.

When her feet touch the floor on set, her heart begins hammering in her chest, but it isn’t just nerves, it is excitement. The green screen in front of the cameras, the hot white lights illuminating the faint marks for the actors. She runs her hand along the arm of the director’s chair, a giddy feeling bouncing around inside her and she shakes her head.

Muttering quietly, “I’m really here,” she sighs wistfully, wishing she would have pursued the acting career earlier.

Thomas lightly taps her elbow, pulling her out of her daze. Although he doesn’t smile, his eyes alight with the familiar fondness she has become accustomed to.

“Good morning.”

Her slender fingers duck up, tucking her stray curl behind her ear, grinning up at him.

“Morning. I’m beyond excited for today.” Her eyes settle on his, forcing her hands to stay at her side.

His deep brown eyes soften more, but he clears his throat, schooling his expression into his trademarked frown.

“I would hope so. Today is a big day.”

Hunt points her to Ryan, squeezing her arm to earn him a smile before he strides away, prepping for the day of shooting.

Her smile lingers after he walks away and she makes her way to Ryan. When he catches sight of her, a flirty smile plays about his lips and he takes her hand, kissing the back of it softly.

“Ms. York, it’s so good to see you again.” He holds her hand and leads her towards the craft services table, motioning to the large spread of food. “Hungry?”

“Oh, actually I’ve already eaten. But it looks delicious, I’m regretful I missed out.”

His hearty chuckle makes her blush slightly and out of the corner of her eye she can see Thomas turning towards their direction.

“This is the catered food for the cast and crew. It’ll be here for us whenever Thomas isn’t hounding us to work.” Ryan picks a pastry up and takes a bite, nodding in appreciation. “He always gets the best food.”

“That does not surprise me at all.”

Natalia looks over to Thomas and meets his eye. A scowl is resting on his lips as he glares at Ryan, but when he focuses on her, his hard expression softens subtly.

Holly and Addison look at each other, grinning when they see the change in him and the way the two look at each other. But when he turns his focus back to his screenwriter and wardrobe designer, his eyes harden again.

“Will you two stop gawking so we may focus on the task at hand?” Thomas thrusts notes into Holly’s hands before striding over to the set.

He begins barking orders, telling the gaffer to change the lighting. When he’s out of earshot, Addison turns to Holly.

“Do you think something has changed between them?” Addison grins and Holly shrugs.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out eventually.” The screenwriter glances between the two suspiciously, “But he does seem to be looking her way a lot.”

Before either lady could continue, everyone starts gathering around the set.

“Places!” Thomas turns and catches Natalia’s eye, motioning her over. When she leaves Ryan’s side, she reaches Thomas with a soft smile, causing his stern demeanor to falter slightly. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling a little nervous, but also excited. I think I’m ready, director.” Natalia grins and nudges him playfully before she clears her throat and stands up straight. “I mean, I’m ready whenever you are.”

He expertly holds a chuckle in but he doesn’t stop his lips from quirking up in amusement. He nods and places a hand on her lower back to lead her to her place on set.

“As I have mentioned beforehand, you know this character and the script better than anyone. Simply relax and let your knowledge overtake your nerves.”

Natalia’s chestnut hair bounces off her shoulders when she gives him a stern nod, already focusing on channeling her inner Alexandria. She rolls her shoulders, shaking her arms and takes a deep breath.

Ryan takes his place near his co-star, clears his throat and cracks his knuckles.

“Let’s run the beginning scene with Samuel meeting Alexandria for the first time.” Holly pushes her glasses back up while she looks at Ryan and Natalia, “Remember, Ryan’s character is a billionaire and he’s looking for a new secretary. This interview needs to show how much sexual tension these two have. We need to have the charged atmosphere, the fiery stares, the electric “accidental” touches. And remember, he’s going to hire her on the spot, no call, so you both need to sell the relationship sizzling right at the get go.”

Both actors nod, Natalia nervously tugs on her bottom lip, worrying about what all she has to convey in this scene, but before she can dwell on it, she hears the snap of the clapperboard.

“Miss…” Ryan (Samuel) looks down at the paperwork in his hand, “Costello.”

Natalia, or Alexandria, lowers her eyes, looking up at Samuel beneath her eyelashes. “Yes, you can call me Alexandria, Mr. Carlisle.”

“Cut!” Thomas sits up straighter in his chair. “Natalia, in this scene you need to exude confidence, an air of seduction, if you will. A man like Carlisle won’t be attracted to someone who doesn’t show confidence to stand up to him. From the top.”

Ryan reruns his line, getting back into character flawlessly and Natalia follows his lead. Without thinking this time, she jumps into her role.

“Yes, you can call me Alexandria, Mr. Carlisle.” Her shoulders are squared, jaw set and her eyes boring into his.

They hold eye contact for another charged moment before he looks back down at the file in his hands.

Samuel nods once, “Tell me why I should hire you. I’ve had ten other candidates come through here today, what makes you stand out?”

When he looks back up at her, he gives a confident grin, eyes twinkling with mischief, hinting that he’s already made his decision without needing to hear anything.

“I know what it’s like to run a multimillion dollar company. My father got me into the business world. I won’t put up with any bullshit and I most definitely will protect this company and assets to the best of my abilities.” Her tone is solid, her eyes never wavering from his, but the edge in her voice softens into a seductive purr, “And of course, I will serve you to the best of my abilities.”

Alexandria leans towards Mr. Carlisle subtly after finishing her pitch.

What seems like minutes pass before Samuel smiles widely, extending his hand towards Alexandria, “You’re hired.”

Only showing the mixture of shock, relief and happiness in her eyes, she takes his extended hand, shaking it professionally. That’s when it’s as if both are drawn together. His smile falters, hand gripping tightly to hers as they both lean towards each other.

But as if coming out of a trance, she shakes her head and steps back. “Thank you Mr. Carlisle.”

He nods and turns around, “I will see you on Monday, Alexandria.”

“Cut.”

Thomas’ eyes bounce between Ryan and Natalia, his fingers steepled as he takes slow, deliberate breaths.

“That take was adequate.” He nods once, flipping through the script nonchalantly.

He speaks to Holly, pointing at a scene on the page and Natalia lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Ryan walks over to her, placing a deliberate hand on her lower back.

“Good job. You took his direction well and I could see everything in your eyes.” A charming smile flits across his lips, “You’re gonna be a pro in no time.”

She smiles at his praise, her shoulders relaxing more. “Thank you, Ryan.”

Nodding once, he smirks down at his counterpart, “You wanna grab some dinner this evening? There is a romantic five star restaurant downtown. I can get us a nice, corner booth.”

Thomas overhears the interaction, his eyes snapping over to Ryan, the soft touch of his hand on Natalia’s back. The closeness of the two. Summers asking her out on a date. He feels every muscle in his body scream, his vision goes red and his scowl deepens to the point Holly takes a step back.

“Um, Thomas, are you alright?”

Instead of a verbal answer, he gets up, snapping his script shut and storms out of the studio. All that’s left to hear is the slamming of the door out to the parking lot.

Everyone looks at each other baffled, Natalia starts after him but Ryan gently grabs her elbow.

“Hey now, you haven’t given me an answer.” He grins at her, pulling his phone out, “I’ll call right now, just tell me what time.”

“Oh Ryan, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested.” A comforting hand lands on his arm, “But I do hope we can still be friends.”

Not waiting for an answer, she turns on her heel and walks quickly off the set and out the door Thomas stormed out of. The cast and crew easily put two and two together. Ryan and Holly stare at each other, he shakes his head and walks off on his own.

When Natalia gets out to Thomas’ car, he’s not in it. Searching for his tall frame around the area, her shoulders slump when he is nowhere around. Dejected, she heads back for the studio. Holly meets her halfway and holds her phone up.

“We’re done for the day. Do you want a ride back to Thomas’?”

Nodding, Natalia runs back in, grabs her things and meets Holly at her car. She gets in and as Holly gets on the road she breaks the silence.

“So how long have you two been intimate?”

The author snaps her eyes over to Holly who glances back at her.

Holly shrugs, “It was pretty obvious. Ryan asked you out, everyone could hear. Thomas stormed out, you declined Ryan’s offer and went after Thomas.”

Sighing, Natalia plays with the hem of her blouse, “It has been a few weeks now. Nothing has happened, but we both enjoy each other’s company. He doesn’t treat me like everyone else has.”

“Simple as that?” The screenwriter raises an eyebrow, “He doesn’t treat anyone like he treats you, Nat.”

Subconsciously, a warm smile finds its way to her face, “I believe I have fallen both hard and fast. Of course I cannot speak for him, but I do care deeply for him.”

She feels butterflies in her stomach and her heart leaps as she wonders if he truly does treat her unlike anyone else. Deep inside her she knew Holly was being completely honest, but her self-doubt still bubbles to the surface every now and then.

They drive in silence for a few more moments before Natalia can’t help but ask, “Has he ever been serious with anyone before?”

She looks at the profile of the driver, waiting for an answer, then Holly nods once.

“Yes. It’s what caused this last block of his. Two women broke his heart in the past, that’s why he’s so closed off. I… I’ve been there for both and let me tell you, I’ve never seen him the way he is with you. If I’m being honest, Addi and I were going to get you two together if you hadn’t already taken the plunge.”

Natalia allows a surprised laugh to escape at that answer. “Then I am glad we took the plunge, as you say.”

A moment of happy silence fills the car, before Holly gets a text and glances at it.

“Oh, I’ve got to stop at Addi’s on my way over. I left some notes there that I need to grab. It’ll only be a minute.”

The rest of the ride, save for a few friendly comments, was made in silence. It left Natalia plenty of time to think of what happened at the studio. She’s never had someone be upset with her over something she had no control of. It wasn’t as though she was asking Ryan to dote on her or ask her out. While she considers him a good friend, she doesn’t see him any other way than that.

Her gaze out the window at the passing mansions. Palm trees dot the sidewalk, reaching high into the sky, spreading their leaves over the hot, late afternoon sun.

After hearing of Thomas’ past, she understands why he would become so upset for Ryan making his move on her. They will have to talk it all out when she gets back. In her mind, she nods resolute, he has no reason to think I will ever break his heart.

45 minutes later

“Ugh traffic was horrible.” Holly drops her head onto the steering wheel after she parks in front of Thomas’ mansion.

Once they left Addison’s it seemed every light they went through turned red and every person driving on the road had just obtained their license. Holly had slipped some obscenities that made Natalia blush, but the author could laugh at the anger radiating off the screenwriter.

“Thank you for braving that horrendous trek for me.” Natalia pats Holly’s shoulder patronizingly.

After a meek wave, the car takes off, leaving Natalia in Thomas’ driveway looking up at the modern, yet tasteful design. Its imposing structure looms over her, the whites and grays mix together in a symphony of warm, yet bright features. A perfect balance.

Deciding against talking with Thomas right now, she makes her way around to the guest house entrance, slipping through the gate quietly and walking straight to her little house. She doesn’t dare glance over her shoulder, not wanting to see him yet. Unsure of whether it was Ryan asking her out and her turning him down or Thomas causing a scene at the studio that was causing this stress, she decides on taking a warm bath to wash away today’s drama.

Once she exits the bathroom after redressing and drying her hair, she notices a note on her counter. Glancing at the clock, noting the time of a quarter past six, she reads over the handwritten letter.

Natalia,

I would like to apologize for my outburst today. Please, if you are not too upset, come and have dinner with me.

-T

Surprised and relieved somewhat, she tosses her hair into a ponytail and makes her way to Thomas’ house.

The sun is lowering into the west, casting deep orange and red hues across the palm tree dappled horizon. A sigh escapes her lips as the warm sun settles onto her skin, her ears listen into the quiet lapping of the pool and the sound of traffic off into the distance. When she looks back towards the back door, Thomas is standing there. A bouquet of roses in one hand and an anxious look on his face, he steps towards her.

“Good evening.”

Natalia smiles bashfully, eyes dropping to the flowers and then back up to his face. “Evening.”

An awkward beat of silence passes between the two before Thomas clears his throat and thrusts the bouquet towards her.

“As cliche as it is, I understand that most women appreciate flowers.” He scrunches his handsome face into a grimace, frowning, “Not that you are most women, you are most definitely a unique and—“

A gentle hand settles on his arm, stopping his rambles. “Thomas, I appreciate the gesture and actually find it very romantic.” Her nose settles into the petals, eyes closing as she takes a deep breath. When she looks up again, a bright smile grows on her face. “I love them. I am going to put them in a vase next to my bed.”

She turns back towards the guest house, but her elbow is caught gently by Thomas’ hand. When she turns back towards him, he wears an uncharacteristic blush, but his eyes still meet hers.

“I was actually… perhaps, you would—“ he cuts himself off and swipes a hand down his face, “Would you like to stay with me tonight?”

He inwardly curses at the way he is carrying himself, acting like a love struck teenager, but he looks at Natalia hopefully.

“Oh… I’m— you know I was hoping to take this slow, Thomas.” Her eyes cast down, her heart tightening at his suggestion.

His eyes widen and he frowns, “I apologize, I misspoke.”

She looks up at him, “I prepared dinner for us and I was hoping you would stay. For dinner, I mean.” He closes his eyes, running a hand through his hair.

I am acting like a damn imbecile.

Relief sags in her shoulders and another bright smile graces her lips. “Of course. I assumed that’s what I was coming over for.”

She holds the note up that he left for her, his eyes glance at it and inwardly he smacks himself.

“Yes.” After clearing his throat, he opens his back door and motions for Natalia to go through first. “I will find a vase for your flowers.”

After setting her flowers on the candlelit table for two Thomas had prepared, they both tuck into a delicious, home cooked meal. He explains the recipe was his grandmother's, passed down and he learned how to cook Pasta Alla Nerano when he was just a boy.

“This particular dish was first made by a restaurant in Nerano, Italy. A small bay town. They use local zucchini and Provolone del Monaco to make this simple dish. I, of course, tried to replicate it to the best of my abilities, but on such short notice it was impossible to get the local zucchini and provolone.” After wiping the corner of his mouth, he takes a sip of the white white, “This is a bottle of Falanghina del Beneventano, it comes from Italy, as well, but surprisingly, I found it at the market we often shop at.”

The entire time Thomas was speaking of this recipe, pronouncing the Italian terms fluently, Natalia couldn’t take her eyes off him. She watches him, astounded, impressed, and completely enthralled. Her eyes slowly travel over his face, the way his eyes light up when he speaks of his grandmother, the way his lips move softly when he speaks of another Italian recipe or wine. Her heart tumbles over itself as she rests her chin on her hand, watching him speak with a gentle smile on her lips.

He pauses his ramblings when he realizes she’s staring and smiling at him, it causes his own lips to quirk up slightly. “What is it?”

“You just surprise me.” She sits up straight, smiling still, and shakes her head gently.

His eyes zero in on her sweet face and his lips raise into a bigger smile, “I do hope it is in a good way.”

Natalia tugs her bottom lip between her teeth and he nearly groans at the motion, he leans forward, clearing his throat.

“Of course.”

As though his mouth is a magnetic force, she begins leaning towards him across the table. His eyes snap down towards her exposed chest, the V neck t-shirt leaving little to his imagination, but he quickly looks back to her eyes.

“Perhaps,” he takes a deep breath when he can feel her breath on his skin, her eyes flutter shut, “there are many things you do not know about me.”

Instead of responding, Natalia presses her lips to his. One of her hands settles against his stubbled jaw, the other braces herself against the table. Both of his hands hold her face, their lips dancing to a soft beat. The intimacy of the moment nearly lets Natalia throw caution to the wind, but she just isn’t ready to give all herself to him. Then he stands, urging her to do the same and they both move to the side of the table, never breaking their kiss. When their bodies meet and he picks her up, she almost gives in. They continue the sweet, gentle kisses as he walks them out of the kitchen. Thomas groans quietly into her mouth, his hands holding under her thighs while she wraps her arms around his neck. When her back presses against a wall, she gasps and opens her eyes. It causes him to break away. They both stare into each other’s eyes, the desire evident between them, but he clears his throat, setting her feet on the ground carefully.

Then today comes rushing back to her. Her eyes are big and full of worry. “Why did you storm off today?”

“I apologize, I allowed myself to get carried away.” His eyes cast downwards as he runs a hand through his hair. “I felt as though… I was…” He groans loudly, “I was jealous.”

Her hand on his cheek urges his eyes back up to meet hers. “It’s alright, Thomas.” She stands on her tiptoes, giving him one more kiss. “I promise. But, I also promise that no matter who comes along, as long as you and I are… pursuing these feelings, I will only be yours.”

He nods, wrapping her into a warm hug. He rests his chin atop her head. Closing his eyes, he relaxes into the embrace, allowing himself to trust. He had to if he was going to let this work. He was not going to be the reason this didn’t work between them. It had to work.

Putting all his fears, heartbreak, and stubbornness aside, he decides she is it.

She is the one.

#thomas hunt #choices #playchoices #red carpet diaries #thomas orson hunt #choices red carpet diaries #choices rcd #professor hunt #rcd #red carpet diaries 3 #red carpet diaries 2 #play choices #thomas hunt fanfiction #thomas hunt x natalia york #hunt x natalia #thomas hunt x oc #hunt x oc #play choices fanfic #choices fanfiction

[cazimagines]

Dancing the night away

Synopsis: You accomply Zemo to a ball yet you feel like you don’t truly belong there and you still compare yourself to Zemo’s ex wife but Zemo comforts you and assures you he loves you

Warnings/Tags: Fluff, all the fluff, plus very spicy end scene not 18+ but hella close

Word count: 2k

Authors note: As I promised a fluff one shot after the last one. We all need more loving Zemo in our lives. Also I just wanted to say that I love and appreciate every single one of you who likes and comments on my one shots. I used to write fanfiction on sites like Quotev and Wattpad and they never really got any attention which was quite down heartening to someone who wants to carry on writing for their career so all the love you have been showing to my Zemo one shots mean the world to me. Thank you all so much.

Once again Zemo had outdone himself. Buying you the most expensive dress in the shop, lavishing you with jewelry and make-up. Looking into the mirror even you could admit how stunning you appeared. You were wearing a tight-fitting emerald green dress that flurried out at the bottom in a swirl. The front of it cut down into a low v shape showing off the sides of your breasts.

You looked like how every little girl had always wanted to look like yet you couldn’t help but wonder...was this you?

You had never imagined you would be someone who would have a lot of money or meet someone who owned money. Let alone a Baron. It had happened so suddenly and you were swept up in a daze. It felt unreal, like every time you fall asleep you expect to wake back up in your old bed in your apartment. The truth was, deep down you felt like you didn’t deserve this.

You jumped as you felt hands wrap around your waist. Resting upon your stomach and pulling you in towards their chest.

“You look like the goddess Venus” Zemo whispers as he leans his head on your neck drinking in the scent of your perfume.

“If I hadn’t already promised the president I’d be there I would say screw this dance and take you right here”

“Zemo!” you gasp, your face instantly truing bright red at such a bold remark. You two had never gone that far in your relationship yet. You needed time to be ready before you ever went that far. Zemo respected that choice though he loved to tease you like that.

He chuckles, kissing your neck briefly then pulling back to admire himself in the mirror. “We will be the best looking couple there darling”

“You think so?”

Though his mouth was still turned into a smile he turned to you serious, “I know so y/n”

You break out into a big smile making Zemo smile flashing his teeth as well. He pulls you into a soft kiss, his hands gently holding onto you.

Following Zemo, he leads you to his car and a little while later you arrive at the ball. It felt like there were thousands of people there and they were all staring at you.

Zemo loved the attention. He politely smiled at everyone and greeted his friends there, introducing you to them.

You tried to make polite conversation but you had always been rather awkward. You didn’t know what you could say to people like them but Zemo made up for it by talking for you.

It felt like hours of you walking arm in arm with Zemo till he finally led you to the dance floor.

One hand on your waist and one holding yours, you two started to waltz to the music. Zemo started intently at you. His eyes sparkling in joy just to be in your presence while your face seemed to be in a permanent state of blushing.

“Have I told you just how much I adore your blush?” Zemo asks

You slightly chuckle still looking away, “Everyday” you breathed

“And I will continue telling you every day till you believe it”

“...Zemo”

“Darling, look at me” he whispers

Slowly you manage to drag your eyes off the floor and up into his warm chocolate ones. His grip on your hand tightens as he smiles warmly at you. “Words can not describe how stunning you are y/n. Poets would weep with joy just to be in your presence, even the stars would blow down to your light”

“I love you so much Zemo” you whisper

“I love you too”

You two continue to dance for the rest of the song till the music stops. You excuse yourself to step outside for a few moments.

Though Zemo loved to tell you how much he loved you, there was always a part of you that seemed to always doubt him. You were someone so common compared to him. Compared to his ex. He hardly spoke about her. You knew they were married with a child but they were both killed and it hurt him deeply. One day you snuck into his office and found a picture of her. She was so beautiful, so different to you.

“I hate seeing you looking so down darling” you hear Zemo say as he follows you outside. He stands behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder.

“I’m fine” you try to reply but Zemo shakes his head, “I know you y/n, I know you are upset by something. I want to help you with whatever is lying heavily on your soul but I can’t unless you tell me”

You don’t say anything for a moment, you just breathe in and out trying to calm your nerves. Zemo pulls back from you. He turns you around and picks up your hands in his. He brings them up and kisses them gently.

Finally, you gather up the courage to just let it all go, to just say everything that had been bothering you.

“I don’t feel like I fit in here Zemo! Before I met you I was just an average person. Someone everyone here would look down on. Part of me still finds it hard to believe you even like me. Why would someone like you, a Baron, who could have any supermodel settle for someone like me. It doesn’t make sense. I feel so outcast here and I can’t help but think about your ex-wife. She was so beautiful, I saw that picture in your office of her. I know she is prettier than me and I just can’t understand why you would choose me after being with someone like her. I just don’t understand why you choose me Zemo!” you cried, letting the tears freshly leave your eyes.

Zemo looked shocked as you spoke but his facial expression soon turned to one of sadness. He raised his hands to your face, placing it on your side, and with his thumb, he brushed the tears away.

“Oh, y/n…” he whimpered as he struggled for a moment to find the right words.

With his other arm, he wraps it around your side and pulls you close to him till you could feel his breath on yours. His eyes stare intently into yours as he speaks,

“When I saw you in that restaurant a year ago, I was awestruck. My life had turned to shit. I’d lost everything and it felt like I was drowning in the waves of pain but when I saw you it was like the angels had blessed me. What drew me to you most though was your eyes. In the sun they shone, darling, tantalizing, drawing me in deep and under. I just had to talk to you. Other women may be pretty. Perhaps. But you darling. You look like the gods came down and painted you with the best colours in existence. Everything I say to you I mean and I want you to believe it. I would do anything just so you could see yourself the way I see you. I understand how you feel about my wife. It was my fault, not talking about her to you but the way I love you isn’t the same way I loved her. I always felt like I was forced to be in love with her like it was the right thing to do. Everyone told me I would be an idiot not to pursue her so I did. Yes, I liked her but I never felt connected to her. But you darling, I would throw everything away for you. I don’t care what anyone else says because I love you. I treasure you. Just looking at you makes my heart race still and my body feel warm. I want to hold you, touch you, taste you but at the same time, I’m scared I would taint you. That you were too beautiful, too innocent for the likes of me.” Zemo declares, never taking eyes off you.

Through his words you feel yourself melting. A warmness takes over you as your heart too nervously flutters. You place your hand over his chest and you can feel his heart quickly beating, almost in time to yours. He looks at you, his eyes wide, lips slightly parted as he desperately waits for your words.

“You mean the world to me Zemo, I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you and never will. I could never come close to your way with words but...thank you. For saying that. It...it means so much to me to hear that. I’m still going to occasionally have doubts. I’m afraid that’s the way I am and I don’t think that will ever change but I’m not leaving you Zemo. Never”

Zemo wraps his arms around you bringing you into a hug as you rest on his chest, encompassed in his warmth. “I will be there every moment of every day to help you through your doubts”

Eventually, you pull back to look at him, at his lips. You were so drawn to him at that moment. You two were so close it was intoxicating. Pushing forward, you closed your eyes to kiss him. Zemo’s eyes fluttered shut as well and he raised his hands to wrap in your hair. They got tangled in them and he slightly tugged making you moan.

You both freeze as your blush comes back but you pushed past your embarrassment, kissing Zemo harder. Your core started to warm and this time you weren’t going to run away from your desire. You part your lips slightly and Zemo takes that invitation to explore your mouth with his tongue. You push into his further, wanting to feel his body against yours. This caused him to take a few steps back till he hit a wall. You moved your body slightly up and down his as you two kissed. He pulled back, out of breath as he gazed in wonder at you.

“Am I okay to go further?”

“Yes” you gasp, “Zemo I…” you knew it now, you knew you were ready, “Zemo I want you”

His teeth flash as he smiled at you before he lowered his face to your neck, sucking on a section. His hands also lowered down your back till they grabbed your ass. It elicits more moans out of you as his teeth graze your skin. His mouth wanders all over you like he was attempting to kiss every inch of you. As he moved his head lower you tangled your hands in his soft hair, tugging it slightly which made him groan.

When he reaches your chest area he grabs the back of your legs lifting you. You wrap both your arms and legs around him as he walks you over to a table and lays you down on it. You continue to hold onto him so that his body was between your tights and his chest was pressed against yours.

While everyone danced inside you and Zemo lost yourself to the pleasure outside.

#zemo #zemo x reader #zemo imagine #i love zemo #zemo x y/n #zemo fluff #tfatws #marvel #mcu #daniel brühl #baron zemo #helmut zemo #sugar daddy zemo #yes this is about zemo

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! I’ve read so many awesome fics this month! Make sure to check them all out. As always, all my love to all the authors in this fandom ♥

➻ don't want to fight you | starryharry | enemies to lovers - enemies to friends to lovers - pining - mutual pining - angst - fluff slow burn - no smut - 124k Louis hates that it’s familiar. He hates that sparring Harry is familiar because they train together. He hates that he even has to spar Harry at all, because Harry is good. Louis wonders what his life would be like if him and Harry didn’t hate each other. He can’t picture it, really. The incessant bickering that often turns into real arguing, the nasty looks, the eye rolls, the middle fingers. It all feels very necessary at this point. Or, the one where two fighters can also be lovers because routines are never permanent.

➻ we are ghosts amongst these hills | louisgaynkles | Soulmates - reincarnation - historical - slow burn - angst - fluff - 84k Harry spontaneously buys a house in Yorkshire because the universe, or fate, keeps leading him to it. What he didn’t know, is that his new house comes with a past that seems to be mysteriously tied to his own life. Before he knows it he finds himself travelling back in time, stuck in the middle of a century old love story. Featuring Louis as a farmer with a passion for gardening, Zayn as the heir to the local manor, Niall as a pub owner with a secret, and a truly underappreciated Liam. Based on Mariana by Susanna Kearsley

➻ through the wheatfields and the coastlines | thepolourryexpress | farms - cowboys - angst - implied/referenced homophobia - implied/referenced gun use - humor - smut - 53k “You’re not from around here, are ya?” Hot Cowboy asks, tracking his little lamb with his eyes. Louis frowns slightly, having thought he was doing pretty well at not sticking out like a sore thumb. It’s not like he’s not from around here — it’s not his first summer he’s spent at his grandparents'. But he supposes that the Manhattan city lifestyle that he’s used to is always going to shine through. “I’m visiting family for the summer,” Louis explains, cheeks a little pink. “Trying to get some work done without distractions.” Or, alternatively, the one where Louis needs inspiration, and a certain cowboy and his lamb are the perfect distraction.

➻ An Irrationally Strong Bond Between Two People | jishler | dystopia - friends to lovers - angst - first time - 18k Before The Advancement, most human lives and careers were plagued by irrationality and a lack of productivity. This was largely the symptom of what scientists refer to as “interpersonal passion,” which included two separate (though often conjointly occurring) phenomena: “love,” and “sex.” “Love” was a pre-Advancement word which referred to an irrationally strong bond between two people, which caused its sufferers to prioritise their fellow “lover,” as well as the integrity of the malignant bond itself, over vital things such as workplace productivity. Taken every two weeks in pill form, The Drug immediately removes interpersonal passion from the human psyche. Children’s friendships do not have the capacity to develop into full-fledged “love” since they are not yet adults. Every person over eighteen takes The Drug gladly, grateful that it allows them to be productive, clear-headed, and rational members of society. A few weeks before Louis’ eighteenth birthday, Harry and Louis fall in love. (Based on the book Louis writes in indiaalphawhiskey's Our Lives, Non-Fiction.)

➻ And When It's Time | larryftnoctrl | Soulmates - soulmate-identifying timers - 6k Louis wants a soulmate, Harry loves his free will. They don't exactly go hand in hand. Prompt: AU where you have a countdown on your wrist for when you're going to meet your soulmate and if you miss it the time will reset. Louis/Harry keep having awful luck and always are missing their time until one day they don't. Maybe the other one is scared/has anxiety about meeting their soulmate? Maybe one time they're in a relationship so they intentionally miss their time? Who knows! But they finally meet :D

➻ made for lovin' you | cuddlerlouis | a/b/o - enemies to lovers - hate to love - soulmates - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff smut - 53k “I’m in,” is all Louis receives. He blinks a few times, making sure he’s reading this right. “For real?” he asks, just to be a hundred percent sure. “Yes,” pops up. “How do you wanna pursue?” The alpha adds, like he’s on a special mission or something. “I’m gonna call us a cab to go to mine. Once I know it’s here, I’ll leave and join you there,” Louis explains. “I’ll text you to go around five minutes before it arrives, so it doesn’t look suspicious, and our friends don’t notice us leaving together.” “Noted.” So Louis does, and ten minutes later, he’s sat in the backseat of a cab, next to Harry Styles, the person he hates the most but unfortunately still finds attractive. They’re on their way to fuck in Louis’ flat. Splendid. - Or the one where a quick, horny decision ruins Louis’ summer plans, but may also lead to unexpected discoveries. Featuring the road trip of dreams, misunderstandings, and a bit of fate.

➻ deFENCEless | solvetheminourdreams | neighbors - enemies to lovers enemies to friends to lovers - gardening - fluff - humor - banter - no smut - 27k "I moved here first," Louis says with finality, crossing his arms over his chest. Harry shoots him an unimpressed look before leaning forward, leaving only a tiny gap between them. "Then get the fence first," he whispers, lips a mere inch or two away from Louis'. When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

➻ Canyon Moon | delsicle | a/b/o - werewolf - soulmates - childhood friends - friends to lovers - arranged marriage - mutual pining - hurt/comfort - angst - 41k For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry. Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind. An A/B/O Lion King AU

➻ only guilty of loving you | sweetrevenge | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - blind date - soulmates - fluff - angst - mutual pining - smut - 22k After Harry gets set up with his co-worker's alpha friend Louis, he's expecting some pleasant conversation, free dinner, and maybe a new friend. What he doesn't expect, however, is that Louis' arrival in his life begins a life of crime Harry never knew he had in him. A You've Got Mail!AU with a twist.

➻ 'Til Everything Changes | lovelarry10 | a/b/o - older characters - brokend bond - loss - falling in love - fluff - implied mpreg - smut - 57k Harry’s nose twitched as he caught a scent on the breeze, one that sent a shudder through his whole body. His eyes closed subconsciously, and he lost himself in the heady scent, the vanilla top notes, and the more woody undertones, making every hair on Harry’s body stand on end. That was how Harry discovered this man was an Alpha. “Jaz, Harry, this is my Uncle Louis. Lou, this is my girlfriend Jasmine, and her dad Harry.” "Lovely to meet you,” Louis grinned, leaning in and kissing Jasmine’s cheek quickly, a respectful Alpha gesture. Harry held his breath as Louis stuck out a hand, taking it almost reluctantly, certain the Alpha would pick up on his own scent and the nerves flowing through it. “Hi, Harry.” “Hi,” Harry said, his voice low and raspy, still affected by Louis’ scent. “Nice to meet you.” ~~~~ Harry’s an Omega who has been alone for too long. Louis’ an Alpha who is scared to find love again. Thanks to the meddling of Harry’s teenage daughter and her boyfriend, the two seem destined to meet, and it might just change everything they thought they knew about their lives. Will they find what they didn’t realise they’ve always wanted in each other?

➻ Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) | youreyesonlarry | ice hockey - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff - major character injury - pining - unrequited love hospitalization - smut - 74k It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day. -------- Prompt 21: Harry stopped playing hockey (after 10 years of a professional career) because of a severe injury. The dream he worked so hard for vanished in the blink of an eye. His family insisted that he had to go to physical therapy, even if it only helped his health. Cue to personal assistant Louis, the most efficient and kind PA one could hire

➻ Rooms on Fire | softfonds | a/b/o - actors - famous/famous - friends with benefits - secret relationship - 34k Ten years ago, Louis helping Harry through a heat was the start of a romance that ended in heartbreak. Now, Harry's marriage is over thanks to his husband's very public infidelity, and Louis is fresh off a Golden Globe win. The last thing they both expect is to be cast in the same movie.

➻ Stumbling Into Your Arms | sunshineandthemoonlight | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - college/university - fluff - 7k Suddenly, Harry’s nose was brushing against Louis' neck, where his scent was overwhelming. Harry jerked his head to the side and took a deep breath of air, trying to clear his nose of Louis’ scent. ‘Don’t get slick, don’t get hard, don’t get slick’, he repeated to himself in his head, like a mantra. Louis and Harry are university students heading home for the holidays. Harry quickly becomes enraptured by the attractive alpha standing across from him in the train carriage, who has a heavenly scent and a gentle smile.

➻ Little by Little | nonsensedarling | mpreg - non traditional a/b/o - exploring sexuality - exploring secondary gender norms - gender identity strangers to friends to lovers - mutual pining - fluff - slow burn - 65k Harry Styles is an omega who works at the London Planetarium, has lived in the same flat for ages, and is happy enough on his own. When he gets home from his first (horrible) attempt at dating in years, a new pregnant neighbor knocks on his door after smelling his cooking. He and Louis quickly become close, but their friendship gets complicated when Harry begins questioning who he is and what he likes. Or Harry discovers figuring out who you are is more complicated than a potato metaphor.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly reads #monthly fic rec #my reads #larry fics #completed fics

[tartagilicious]

Hi there!!! Can I please request mlqc watching their S/o playing competitive or international level volleyball. S/o can either be opposite hitter or libero (or choose any roles that you feel comfortable writing) you don’t have to but that would be greatly appreciated

finally my years of being obsessed with haikyuu count for something :D (does not include shaw)

Victor, competitive -> international:

- a bit of a unique situation compared to the others, but imagine going from one level to another with him there to celebrate with you! volleyball something you ultimately do on the side of actual work, but it’s an undeniable passion — something you’d probably have to leave things behind to pursue.

- fortunately, because of your respective careers, Victor doesn’t have to be one of those things

- he loves to watch you play! because you’re a libero, and it’s nerve-wracking to watch you slide and jump around. but it’s something you have an obvious talent for, even to someone like him, who only knows as much about volleyball as he does because of you.

- he’s the reason you’re able to keep a calm head most of the time. largely unaffected by the turmoils you go through, the advice is always exactly what you need to hear, and exactly what you remember in moments where a volleyball is hurtling towards you.

- not an extremely vocal person at your games, but even from the grounds, you can always see a proud smile on his face. 

- you’re scouted at the end of another successful season for your team, by someone waiting for you at the end of your final match. he might be a little suspicious when he sees someone unfamiliar talking to you in such a friendly way, but that’s completely off his mind once you come up to him some time later, looking like you’d been told the best news of your life. 

- in a way, though, you almost had. 

- from then on, there’s a nice synchrony between his business trips and your games. you’re able to be away at similar times and come back to each other easily. it makes for a tiring but well worth it way of life

Lucien, international:

- hsdjfaj imagine how much more difficult it would be for lucien to manipulate you when you could just be like “sorry I’ll be out of the country for the next few days for a volleyball game <3″

- queen shit

- anyways, past all of that, once things are more tame and you’re together, I have a feeling he’d actually hate it lol

- put yourself in his shoes: he’s finally settled down with the literal girl of his dream that he’d fallen for against all odds. the light of his life and you’re away from him pretty often because of the sport. duty calls I guess?

- you get bruises a lot because of your liber position so he takes care of you after games if you’re a little beat up :DD

- you can see it because you’re his s/o, but the way he smiles a bit harder or lets his hand linger in yours for a bit longer when you come back from a trip makes you weak in the knees

- but when he does come, which is admittedly a lot of the time, he’s always there to support you in the stands. maybe not a super vocal supporter in the moment, but definitely has a baseball cap with your jersey number on it

- would absolutely cheer loudly to tease you, but means it I swear adfkhj

Gavin, competitive:

- he knew you played volleyball in high school, and would occasionally drop by your practices or games back then, but he never would’ve thought you carried it past graduation

- you work full-time as a producer, he could tell as much the moment you approached him at the police station that day, but what he also couldn’t help but notice how you had still retained the faint muscular form he’d remembered from years ago

- so it came as no surprise when you told him you still played volleyball as you were getting closer again

- being a fan of sports himself, imagine him practicing with you 😭 of course, he may very well be naturally better because of his size and innate strength, but he’ll let you win every time. I can definitely see him being super excited that he can he can do athletic things with the person he loves so freely 

 - during your games, he definitely has a homemade shirt that has your jersey number on it. if your particular team has merch, then he has the real deal. 

- it may not sound like it, but he wouldn’t be overbearing if that makes sense?  volleyball is your thing and he respects that, he won’t drag it on for his own interests. 

Kiro, International:

- phew I think I know which one of these is easier to write

- “superstar with pro athlete s/o” the headlines you two would make omfg

- I don’t think kiro is a very athletic person, or at least not athletics-oriented like someone like Gavin may be, so watching your games is incredibly fun for him. he just loves to watch the way you move when playing?? he’d be willing to bet you could probably keep up with helios at that point

- unlike the others, not shy. will scream when you make a point. in this version, let’s say you’re opposite hitter, this way that happens more often :hehe:

- he mingles with normal fans in the crowd while hiding his identity (with a baseball cap/mask or anything else, really) for not only his own privacy but also so he can see you as anyone else would. if another person in the stands happens to recognise him, which is kind of unavoidable, he just has to ask them to keep it a secret

- maybe the person in question is moved by his commitment to you? the secret rarely gets out

- will celebrate wins with you. lots of junk food and maybe some singing? no doubts in my mind that kiro is amazing at karaoke 

- also, no matter what he has going on in his life as helios, he’ll always put it aside to watch one of your games, all you need to do is ask. 

#mlqc #mr love queen’s choice #mlqc headcanons #mr love queen’s choice headcanons #mlcc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc x reader #mlqc imagine #mr love queen’s choice x reader #mr love queen’s choice imagine

[uhhhhyandere]

If you're still doing requests how about omegaverse with omega Light and alpha m!reader who's a kickboxer. The reader's and Light's families are close and have high expectations of the two eventually marrying in the future, but the reader has no interest in being tied down and focused solely in his training and career. Lately he's noticed that some of his belongings have gone missing, like an old shirt or his boxing gloves, strangely enough the medication to help control his ruts keep (1/2)

running out quick, but writes it off as him being absentminded. One day he's forced to visit Light at his house and catches his scent forcing the reader into a rut, mating with Light all the while unaware they're under surveillance by the task force but Light finds this highly amusing. Now with mating bite and possibly pregnant, Light is tied to the reader no matter what now. (2/2)

we ain't gonna talk about how this has been sitting in my inbox for more than a year and ain't gonna talk about how i’ve almost had it done for more than a year, then forgot until i was digging through my drafts. no comment. i stink. i know, okay?!?!?!?!?!? AAAAHHH but i had fun finishing it so that’s what matters!! 

6.6k words m!reader x light :) 

warnings: smut! light is a.bottom and that's a hill i’ll die on.

Sweat, blood, and tears. It’s all you’ve ever known, and it’s all you’ve come to love and live for. The adrenaline of the ring, the quick, decisive movements, the thrill of winning, and the lessons learned from losing, it all accelerates your pulse and excites your nerves. Hard work never daunted you. You’ve learned to keep pushing, to run when you can’t walk, to fight when you’re knocked down, and to do whatever it took to come out on top. Your alpha blood craved the victory.

5am runs followed by strength training, then workouts after school was a routine you forced into your system. With your lifestyle, however, there was no other option. Strength. Flexibility. Reflexes. You needed everything to be successful. At the forefront of that “everything,” was commitment. There were things you had to miss because of training: family dinners, parties, club meetings, and more you’ve gotten an earful about for missing, but at least your family understood that boxing was your livelihood, no matter how much they were against it. It wasn’t some hobby you were going to drop when you got older. You wanted to make a career out of it, to be able to fight until you have to retire. 

Of course, that was the plan. There were things, expectations, that naturally got in the way. It wasn’t ideal when your only son wanted to be a boxer of all things. How dangerous, risky, a dream you only have as a child. Well, fuck them, you said. Your dream was going to be your reality, and you couldn’t care less who or what stood in the way. Hard work perseveres in the end. You just had to focus. To get distracted by anything was the risk of losing that future. 

The Yagami’s were a prime risk of losing that future. Your families were intertwined from before you were even born. Friends through their years of schooling and beyond. They married in the same year, moved into houses on the same block, and, of course, had their oldest child in the same year. It was like clockwork from there on out, a script to be naturally followed through the course of time. It only helped all the better when you were born an alpha and Light an omega. 

Light’s and your baby pictures were taken together. Vacations were taken together. Chief Yagami pulled strings at school so you were put into the same class, assigned the same tutor, put in the same prep course, and the same private academy. At that point, you were almost sure your parents wanted to be there when you two undoubtedly mate. Your paths were carved to be identical, linked to the very end, yet so you saw them as so incredibly different. 

However, you and Light were fundamentally different people. He was not a friend you chose, but someone who’s just been there. A constant, a tick on the back of your neck that left you with no choice but to live with its existence. You’ve come to accept the reality that he’s going to be there for the near future, the far future if your parents had anything to say about it. They and the Yagami’s had a matching plan, but while they were audibly planning your wedding, you were conniving a scheme of your own. 

The Koyanagi Invitational. Held at the beginning of January, this tournament-style invitational welcomes only the best of the best in fighters from all over Japan. The winners almost always see themselves on the international stage. It’s a nationally televised program, and you were only one win away from securing your spot in round one after your championship match for your region coming up soon. 

Your time is always dedicated to your passion, but now more than ever. Your trainer, an alum of the invitational himself, has allotted the time you desired to train in the gym at the expense of his other lessons. The trade-off was after your championship, you had to find another place for the time it will take to make up all the canceled lessons with the clients you were replacing for the time being, which shouldn’t be hard to do if—when you win the regional championship. Therefore, your time was acutely cut short for academics, social events, and everything else that was not training, but those were the sacrifices you warned everyone you would be making to come this far and reach even farther. You were not even keeping track of Kira at this point. Even that was on the backburner. What? Were they going to kill you for missing dinner with the Yagami’s for the third time this week? 

“Y/N,” your name was called. Through the surging endorphins of your body, you were able to feel good enough to answer the call from your father from the sweat you were yet to shower off. You’d rather reek on the way home rather than use the gym showers. Dropping your bag from your shoulder, you rub the muscle there as you approach the full table. “You were supposed to be home forty-five minutes ago.” You sighed, dropping your hands back to your sides. “Yeah, sorry, dad. Lost track of time. Coach was fixing my style again. Swarmer has always been good for me, I think. Just refining it.” You didn’t miss the shared look between your parents. 

“Well, it’s a good thing we scheduled this later because we knew you’d do this,” your mother says, low heat in her voice. “Get cleaned up and be down here in no more than ten minutes.” Biting your tongue, you nodded, making eye contact with Light as you turned to grab your bag and follow her request. “You could at least put jeans on.” You weren’t even down the hallway when your mother spoke again. This time, you were not being civil for the company’s sake and didn’t bother concealing your groan.  

“It’s not like we have company over.” The Yagami’s were over for dinner or you were over there at least four times a week. It would be odder to have dinner with just three instead of seven (or five, if you missed due to training or Soichiro because of the Kira case) people around the table. You pulled out the chair they left for you beside Light and lowered yourself into it, immediately taking another drink of water from the gallon water bottle you lugged around. “Or, at least, no one new.”  

“Y/N—,”

“No, he’s quite right. There’s no need to dress up for us. We’re practically family already.” Mrs. Yagami, your savior, laughed. “Light just always does,” which is wildly true. Light had a tendency to always look presentable and put-together no matter where the setting was. Late-night study sessions and other in-house cases were the only occasions you would see him clad in anything comfortable. Then, there was you, in your sweats at all times except when you were forced into your uniform at school. 

Luckily enough, the comparison game was not thrown between the two of you too often. It wasn’t necessary when your parents were convinced you would mate and live the rest of your lives together. An unspoken truth that simmered in the air whenever you all got together. 

“How is your training going anyway, Y/N?” Soichiro was an odd sight at the table anymore. The Kira case was an equivalent time commitment to your championship training, (except he gets paid to almost die. You get into fights willingly) and it was more and more late nights on the investigation team.

Especially now, of all times, with the dead FBI agents from the United States the news mentioned one morning, he was busier than ever. 

“Gets harder and harder, Mr. Yagami. Though, I’m keeping up. With the championship on the seventh, I can’t afford not to. The guy’s a monster from what I’ve heard. Tomorrow we’re watching his match from the semi’s.” Your mother cleared her throat. 

“Soichiro, sorry. We just prefer not to talk about business at the dinner table. Our son has a tendency to talk about fighting at all hours of the day, so we cherish this time where we don’t have to hear about it.” Ignoring her blatancy, you took another drink. 

“Well, I like to hear about it.” It was Light who spoke up. “It’s his passion, with all due respect. Do you not see it when his eyes light up when he describes his feelings or explains his regime? He’s someone with an innate gift he wants to pursue. Not to mention the strength he possesses to live this lifestyle. If anything, you should be proud to hear him talk about it, the time he dedicates. It’s nothing short of awe-striking, what he can do.” Your skin feeling unbearably hot, you blinked a few times and hoped to hide from the admirable line of defense Light brought up for you. Peeking from your pit of embarrassment, you met his eyes, bright and unabashed, and you smiled a silent thank you to him. He, without moving a single facial feature, accepted it. 

Instead of seeing the literal meaning of his words, you knew your parents saw the underlying tone of them. Their son being stood up for by Light Yagami. It must mean Light cared for him. Another step towards the future they have been quietly planning, so they smiled, and you wondered if Light saw through it just as easily as you did. 

He and you never sat down and had a conversation about your parents’ expectations. Whether it was reluctance or the pure awkwardness of it all, it never came up when you were together. It didn’t matter, though, because if you could avoid it, which you could easily with your training, you would. At all costs. You did not have the time for that and would not for anytime soon. 

After dinner, Light and you were pushed to do the dishes, as you always were if you were present. He washed, and you dried and put them away. In the midst of the sink running and the clinking of dishes, you found yourself with the desire to properly thank him outside of the small look you gave him before, but thought twice, three times about it at risk of looking too thankful and soft. “Just say it,” he spoke instead. 

“What?”  

“You look like you have something to say. You’ve glanced at me twenty-three times in the past seven minutes.” Despite the small grin on his face, you still couldn’t help but consider saying “it’s nothing,” which he would undoubtedly disbelieve, and let it blow over. Knowing him, though, he would twist it out of your system anyway, like a lawyer rinsing the truth in a cross-examination. 

“Just—uh thanks, man. For before.” Light laughed, scrubbing in the curve of a bowl. 

“You don’t have to thank me for something like that. You’re the type of person society needs, and to have someone talk down at you for being excited about your dreams is wrong. I was only doing the right thing, and I’d do it again.” You avoided his gaze as he explained, suddenly invested in drying the utensils one-by-one. 

“Well, yeah, means a lot.” 

Was Light’s smell always so nice? Yes, you weren’t going to fool yourself that this was the first time you’ve noticed. You’ve been nearby during one of his heats, and you remember nearly falling out into your own primal senses because of it. If it weren’t for your own reluctant self-control, you’re not sure where that night would have gone to. You’ve managed to deduce his smell to be some sort of chestnut, brown sugar mix. Intoxicating, but undeniably would foster an unwarranted reaction from you if you were too close during those times. 

Not to mention that you’ve noticed Light’s good looks sporadically throughout the past. While he plays tennis, focuses on a particularly confusing calculus problem, biting his lip and twiddling the pencil between his digits, or just smiles at you from across the hall at school, you’ve acknowledged it, but never let it grow to anything else. You didn’t want to. Sure, he was handsome, but you had a million other things to focus on than to be tied down by any sort of relationship. Besides, if worse comes the worse, your self-control is unmatched from your countless hours of training. No single individual could sway you from your path.

“It’s really nothing. Like I said, don’t mention it.” And you didn’t plan on it. Light stayed to finish up homework as well as teach you a good two-thirds of the material before telling you he was heading out on his short walk home after you returned from a quick bathroom break. It was getting close to the bedtime that enabled you to get your full eight hours before 5am.

The closer the championship came, the less you saw of people. You ate breakfast and left earlier, came to school right from the gym, (yes, you resigned yourself to shower in the disgusting stalls) went back to the gym after school, and got home later. It gave you less time to do homework or hang out with anyone that wasn’t your trainer. Good thing you had your good friend Light who insisted it was fine to stay late in your room and catch you up on what you were behind in. 

It only made sense, then, with your exponentially increasing schedule that things started to become hectic. Of course, you were missing more of what you usually missed, but most recently you’ve begun to misplace things. A t-shirt you knew you had in the drawer, your go-to nighttime sweatshirt, a pair of shorts. You figured some might be at the gym or dropped in your transit from one place to another, but your sweatshirt never left your house and you sure as hell never left it in the hamper to get washed. 

It was just your busy schedule, you and your parents agreed. You needed to step back and relax if you were beginning to lose things. Plus, you were hardly sleeping with your anxiety building for the coming fight and the late nights you were practically forcing Light to pull with you.

“You don’t have to do this with me all the time,” you mentioned one night. “If I’m messing with your schedule or anything, I know it’s probably super inconvenient for you to do this so often. I never asked—.”

“You didn’t have to,” he answered. “It’s no trouble. I offered, after all. It’s not like I see you much outside of these sessions anyway. Even at school, you seem to always be in a hurry. I’m actually pretty worried about you. How much sleep are you getting? Are you eating enough? Drinking?” You waved him off. 

“You know I always do. I have to eat and drink enough to do this in the first place. I don’t carry a gallon bottle around for the gains, after all.”  

“And your sleep?” You glanced towards your window. 

“Needs work these days.” A small whack resounded off your temple. Surprised, you watched the weapon be flipped between the assaulter’s fingers in front of you. “What was that for?” 

“Don’t be stupid. I get you want to work hard for your match coming up but killing yourself with all this hard work and no rest will undoubtedly lead to your defeat. It’s common sense. You should know that more than anyone.” You set your pen on the desk, the fatigue weighing your eyes down. “Even your dark circles are even showing.” You relaxed your shoulders. “You don’t have to put up your tough guy front with me.”  

“You don’t have to put up your perfect student façade either.” You paused. “Sorry. Uncalled for. You’re right, as usual. I love it though. I want to be the best, and this guy I’m coming up against? He’s a maniac. This is the first tournament he hasn’t gone below the belt or spit on an opponent. Who knows when he’ll start, though? I have to be quick. This fight cannot last long, or this guy will injure me. I can’t afford that if I’m moving on to Koyanagi.” You laughed. “You’re really right. You know I’ve been losing stuff left and right? Old shirt here, that black sweatshirt I wear all the time? Gone. No idea. Some tape in my bag. It’s like some leprechaun is stealing my stuff.” 

“They’ll turn up. Maybe if you get a proper night’s sleep tomorrow and train only in the afternoon, you’ll remember where you left them.” You groaned, stretching in your spot and allowing yourself to slouch against the wall you leaned against and to shut your eyes. “Hey, at least finish this last problem and sleep in your bed.” 

“Don’t want to. I’ll sleep right here.” 

And you did, because Light Yagami was too weak to lift you up.

A sore back and neck now healed, you found yourself wrapping your hands for the long-awaited match in the locker room. Heart already beginning to pound, you tried to find solace in the silence around you, but all you could hear was the rhythm against your ribs. 

“You ready, kid?” Your coach asked from the entranceway. “Two minutes.” You nodded, reaching into your bag and finding odd space in there. No fucking way. Though your old boxing gloves were present, your current ones were not. God, another thing my dumbass lost. There was no time to sit and shit on yourself. I just lost the fucking match for myself, damn it! You didn’t think about it long before you exited the locker room and into the blur of voices and music on the other side. Your opponent stood on the other side of the room, taller and wider than yourself. “Size ain’t nothing kid. Put your confidence into work too here. Don’t forget the mental part of the fight, ya hear me?” 

You didn’t. In the crowd, you saw your family and the Yagami’s looking either nervous or excited. The camera crews around swung cameras across the area of the mat. As your name was announced and you entered the ring, the lights began to move around you. The crowd cheered and yelled in excitement. Your coach encouraged you from behind you.

Sweat, blood, and tears. It is what has gotten you this far, and it will continue to bring you higher. You did not train and work to lose right where you should be beginning. As your opponent entered from the other corner, the familiar sense of adrenaline rushed your veins. Yes, you could do this. 

Ten  

Nine 

Eight 

Seven

Six 

Five

Four 

Three 

Two 

One 

K.O.

You woke up in your bed the next morning. A white ceiling, white walls beeping a steady heartbeat around you. Then, it all came coming back. The elbow, all the dirty moves used against you pounded in your skin. Out of everything, your head ached the most. Tiny explosions cascaded your brain as you rolled your head along your pillow. 

“You’re awake!” It was your father. “Your mother’s worried sick. That stupid asshole. Why they didn’t disqualify him after the first dirty hit, I’ll never know, but you had a fair fight.” You squinted through the migraine.

“…Did I win?”

“From a DQ, yeah. Hardly counts, and I’m sure you hardly feel like it. The guy was a nutcase. The kind that takes out their aggression through the sport rather than respecting it. You’re gonna be out for the count for a while, you know that, right? Grade three concussion. You’re going to have to take a break. Me and your trainer already called every gym around and put you on the blacklist—,”

“But dad—,”

“Nope, I’m not going to hear it. You are not allowed to even think about working out or training. We are going to keep our eyes on you at all times because we all know how you think and what you’re going to try to pull. Recovery is the most important part of an injury. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll never get better in time for the invitational. Got it?” You guffawed. 

“You can’t keep eyes on me at all times.” 

“Not me, personally, but there is someone with a similar schedule to you that you happen to go to school with and happens to live around the block.” You glared at the man. 

“You recruited Light into helping you, didn’t you?” He shrugged and took the steps forward to stand at the foot of the bed. 

“It’s more so he volunteered. He knows just as well as the rest of us you need to be watched or you’ll train at some faraway gym or secluded area. It’s for your best interest. You’ll go to school with him and he’ll take you back to their place until we get home—.”

“I don’t need a goddamned babysitter,” you bit out. 

“On the contrary, would you not sneak off to train despite your condition?” You shook your head. You were in no condition to be having an argument, yet you stood your ground. 

“It’s the lack of trust for me.”

“Yeah, we don’t. Not when it comes to putting your health first. Light was even telling us about how you’re behind in school too. With a concussion, you’ll need help anyway. Discussion over.” If your headache could get any worse, you were pretty sure it would have. 

Not that you thought that he was kidding, but you weren’t expecting the doorbell to ring so early as you brushed your teeth, a towel wrapped around your waist from your shower. Spitting quickly, you left wet footprints across the wood floor as you approached the door. 

“By god,” you muttered, opening the door. “You really were enlisted, huh?” Light shrugged. 

“Well, by the looks of it, you didn’t go out earlier to work out than usual in order to look like you didn’t, unless you’re showering from a quick one between when your parents left for work and I got here.” You rolled your eyes, opening the door wider and stepping aside to allow him room to enter.

“Funny. No, I just got up. Guy really did me in one, and you don’t actually have to listen to my parents. You know I’m not going to go do anything that can put my recovery at risk.” He slid his bag off his shoulder and set it on the couch. 

“I know you, and the second you don’t wake up in pain, you’re gone. Sitting back and doing nothing kills you, after all. I don’t need to have known you my entire life to tell you that.” The side of your lip quirked. 

“Yeah, whatever. Let me get some clothes on,” you turned around and returned to the bathroom. Putting on the folded clothes you left in the corner, you grabbed your bag from your bedroom and met with the boy digging into his bag. “Ready, babysitter? I’m going to call you that all day, by the way. No matter who we’re with.”

“Great. I can’t wait.” …

It wasn’t so bad, having a sitter. You mean, you were with Light when you weren’t training, anyway. Going to his house every day after school was even normal, mind the odd words being thrown around the school by the observers. No one confronted you about it, which came as no surprise. Who was going to confront a boxer about those kinds of rumors? 

Light didn’t seem to mind, either. As one of the top bachelors of the whole school, you were sure he had to be aware of them. Just like your parents’ desired future for the two of you, you never spoke of it. Perhaps he was as nervous to bring it up as you were, or at least as reluctant. Still, nothing would change. If he would not speak of it, neither would you.

You never suspected, however, for that dam of silence to ever break in either of you. …

It was nearing the end of your recovery when the only thing between you and getting back in the ring was a doctor’s okay. Your parents and the Yagami’s were going out for a “night on the town,” quote-on-quote. Sayu was at a sleepover, and your parents ordered you to make your way over to Yagami household. 

“It’s getting close to you being cleared. No point in ruining it now, Y/N. Just go. You probably have work he has to teach you anyway.” You glared at your parents as they stood adamant. “Go. We will have him drag you there.” “As if he could,” you muttered.

“Let me in!” Two minutes of knocking, you resigned to lifting up the third rock from the right and grabbing the key from the underside. After you broke in three times in a week at age seven, you would think they’d change the key’s location. 

You set your possible overnight bag on the couch. On the main floor, it was quiet, which wasn’t all surprising. Light has been spending more time in his bedroom than ever. That was saying a lot, itself, because he was always in there in the first place. Perhaps he wasn’t expecting you. You grinned.

Footsteps light, you tiptoed up the stairs and turned the corner. There were small noises coming from the other side of his door that you could hear from the far side of the hall. As you creep closer, you couldn’t necessarily distinguish what the noises were. Nonetheless, it was clue enough he was too preoccupied to notice the huge scare you’re about to give him. 

Hand on the doorknob, you turned it and screamed as you entered.

Though, turns out you were the one that got more scared. Not in fright, but of shock. Light, however, remained composed as ever despite the position you caught him in.

His smell overpowered the room. You nearly were kicked back from it. Back bent upwards off the bed, his mouth agape with small guttural moans and breathless gasps escaping it, all while his hand worked every so slowly stroking his cock. His other hand fisted what you recognized as your lost sweatshirt covering his nose and mouth. Above the material, his eyes were trained on yours, head rolled to the side as his motion continued. 

“Jesu—what? Is that my…” Looking around the slightly torn up room, you recognized t-shirts, tape, and even your current pair of boxing gloves lying around the room or on his bed. “I-I don’t…” His fist threw the sweatshirt to the side as the hand came down hard on the bed. 

“You don’t—mmh—what? Get it? I know you’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer at times, but you can put this together, can’t—uh—you?” His grin grew wider and more wicked as he took in your reaction. “I’ll say, you have an unspeakable amount of willpower, but I think—ah—I’ve had enough of it.” 

“What do you mean? Did—did you plan this?! To trigger my fucking—ugh.” He rolled his eyes. Whether it was from pleasure or annoyance, you couldn’t tell, and your mind wasn’t really in a state to think about it under the current conditions. 

He had you trapped. His smell corrupted the very air around you and seeped into your skin. It was overpowering. You could feel your rut, your ever so clandestine, rut-stained self, emerging from its thick chains. You couldn’t even take a step backward or turn to open the unlocked door. All of your nerves screamed at you to take him. To make him scream so that all he could say, all he could even think about, was you, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t. 

Because this isn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want to be linked with him outside of your parents’ desire for you and him to be wed one day. This was the path to that future, the future that distracted you from your goal.

Light shifted to stand above your lack and bent form that was on its last legs before the rut would take over. A hand softly stroked your head, as a parent would stroke a child’s, and set itself under your chin. It nudged upwards, forcing your gaze to his. At such close vicinity, the scent, his scent, him, it was all you could perceive. 

“You really are the worst. The epitome of holding yourself—your desires—back. I know you don’t want what our parents want. I know the thought of something tearing you from your dream kills you. I know that you think that this,” he motioned between the two of you, “would be the exact definition of a distraction, so you’ve pushed it all down. Never acknowledging its existence. Well, do you acknowledge it now?” 

You didn’t answer. You were nervous about what would come out of your mouth if anything did. Your willpower would die with the next exhale you took. Annoyed with your last stand, he dragged his hand from your neck to your shoulder and shoved your weak state down so you were on your knees. He leaned down so his breath ghosted over your lips.

“You really put on a show for me, you know. Answering the door with only your towel on back then. Deep down, I think you want this too. Deep down, you know that this was bound to happen. Just like your pain in a fight, you ignore it. You’re not a complicated individual to figure out. Just give in. What’s the harm in letting someone else take the reins for once?” He stared down at you, you felt it, but you refused to meet it, choking on shallow breathes in order not to inhale his scent too much. You remained silent, using your leftover strength to power onto your two feet. 

“Not going to talk? Fine. Your mouth could—,” you didn’t even allow him the time to finish the sentence or pull through on what you knew was going to be his statement as you rushed to shove him rough enough to force him to fall on his ass on the floor next to the bed. He looked up at you from his seated position, eyes wide and excited. You seemed more shocked than him and took a step backward towards the door. His eyes, yellowed and urgent, followed your movements. 

Swallowing, you willed yourself to extend your hand down as a form of apology: one you were unable to voice in current conditions. Light’s hand, soft and delicate, grasped is softly at first, allowing you to lift him to stand just over the bed, then squeezed, brought his other hand to your forearm. and tugged your unsuspecting form onto the bed with him, so you unwillingly straddled his legs. 

He was quick to surge upward and lock his arms around your neck. Meeting his lips was kissing the devil himself: everything about it was all-consuming, hot, wrong. Light did not start out slow, just as he was with everything else. With guns blazing, his tongue tore open your lips and invaded your now open maw with vigor and power your conscious self could not meet. He brought his hands to your ass and tugged you forward to push your bodies tight together. Breaking only to breathe and begin to force your shirt up your abdomen with his cold fingers. You helped. God, you shouldn’t have, but your clothes were getting so hot. As soon as the article was off, Light latched to your neck, teeth quick to bite. You gasped, tilting your head back to reveal more skin to him. He brought his hand up and tugged on your hair, eliciting another groan from your lips. 

“For someone who abhorred the thought of us together, you seem to be enjoying yourself.” His mouth continued down your form, biting the skin, and then licking the newly affected area. By now, you could feel your length suffocating even under the looseness of sweatpants. The undeniable urge for relief, for him, the one who was adjusting you to stand in front of him. An obvious, wordless request to rid yourself of your confines. “Go on. I’m waiting,” he said, leaning back to show his nude-self off. His cock glistening with a delightful mix of slick and precum. Inviting. Warning. Waiting. Jesus, you needed your fucking pants off! 

Hurrying to get your legs bare, you allowed your own slick to make its first drops onto the floor. Light did not make any moves, only locking his eyes onto yours. A silent argument, but you were in no mood to trifle in such affairs with your mind clouded. Surging forward, you would have been able to straddle him once more would it not be for his hand solidly placed on your abdomen. “I said, I’m waiting, you sex-craved beast. Tell me how much you need this. How much you want to be mine. To follow the path carved for you with me. I have enough here to get me through my heat, but you don’t get ruts too often, do you?” Why and how this twig held so much authority, you would never know. 

“Just let me—,”

“Let you?” He laughed. “Do you think you’re the one in charge here? What? You think because you’re physically stronger, because you’re an alpha, that you get dominance here?” His eyes, though yellow, spoke true on his words. They demanded compliance. “Now, be a good boy, and beg to fuck me. Beg to stick your cock inside me.” To stress his point, he ground upwards ever so slightly. You hissed at the contact. 

“God, please just let me—please just—fuck. Light, I need to fuck you. I need to take you, to mate you, to—fuck—I want you to scream for me, and only me. I want your throat raw from how loud and how much you scream for me.” You gripped the headboard above him while your other hand trailed down his lithe body coated in sweat until it reached his hole. His slick dripped from there due to his heat so that your finger slipped right in. Light moaned. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Please,” you slipped a second, then the third digit in. Light’s teeth dug into his bottom lip as his back arched to meet the thrust of your fingers. 

“Shit, it feels so good, Y/N, alpha. Go on. Mate me. Be mine forever just as I’d be yours.” You adjusted yourself to settle comfortably between his legs and used your hands to lift them, bending him in half to expose himself to you. You hissed as his first squeeze around you before you continued to sink in. Shared moans filled the room as you cursed out for each other. “Yes, feel how tight I am for you, how your cock was meant for me.” Heat shot through every nerve fiber of your being, and you did not bother to begin your thrust languidly. Instead, you rushed to build to a quick, pounding pace. Your rut pushing you to go deeper, and faster as he tightened around your length. Your hips met his groan with an audible smack, and, at a certain angle, Light cried out. “What are you… waiting for…? Bite… me. Claim me, you beast.” 

You could barely hear his words through your focus, your feeling, and, after a short while, even Light could not manage words. Only gasps, moans, and a few small screams escaped his lips and you sought your release. Closer, and closer, and closer… fuck. You ground your pelvis into his. 

“Shit, I’m gonna—oh, fuck,” you whispered, a quiet worship into the air as you allowed yourself to empty within him. You pulled out slowly, watching small amounts of liquid viscously drool out. Light’s skin was flushed deeply red, sweat glistening off his skin, and cock red, pulsing, and heavy against his torso. His labored breaths from his wide, open mouth forced his stomach to rapidly grow and shrink before he quickly regained himself and focused his eyes on you.

“What? Do you think I’m done with you?” He smirked, still breathing heavily, chest rising and falling. “Come here.” You let his legs go to allow him to surge forward and capture your lips with his own. “I’m still rock hard. Why don’t you do down there and do something about it, hm?” Light supported his point by guiding your hand to grasp his cock. “Go on.” 

His scent was all-consuming. Your nose trailing the skin of his cock as it followed your tongue up and down his length. You swirled your tongue around this head while your hand worked the base of his cock. “Eyes on me, alpha. Eyes on your omega, now.” Yellowed eyes dared you to look away. “Go on, and take me in.” Light gasped as you swallowed him. “Fuck, fuck, yeah. Now, suck. Yes. Just like that. Bob your head—just like,” he grasped your head and guided your movements, “that, yes. Damn, you’re a terribly slow study with math, but fuck, you learn to suck cock quickly.”

You followed his instructions, hand lightly teasing his balls, mouth taking him deep then pulling back, until you began to move on your own volition. “Oh, yes. I’m gonna- fuck. You better fucking swallow all of me. I don’t want to see a single drop on the bed.” Light watched with sick delight as you struggled to take his spend in. He was quick to reach down when you retracted your mouth, sealing your jaw shut with his hand until he saw your adam’s apple bob. “Oh, good boy. Now,” ignoring your painfully—once again—hard cock, he pulled you back up, “claim me. Bite me, alpha. Do it.” 

“N-no, I can’t.” 

“You can and you will. Go ahead.” Light moved his locks and stretched his neck out to you. There was nothing more you wanted to do than sink your teeth into the smooth stretch, to have your scent follow him as he walked around the school every day. “Bite me, Y/N. Do it now,” and you did. Light howled in pleasure as copper filled your mouth. You licked the raw skin before sinking you teeth in deeper and sucking what you can. 

“Light,” you pulled back, eyes blown wide. “I—,” he shushed you by tightly gripping your cock with a wide smile. 

“It all worked perfectly,” he said, beginning to stroke your length in tandem with his words. “I thought replacing your gloves would cause you to lose, to grieve, to stay here, but when I heard of your opponent and talked with him just a bit before your match, angering him about what kind of person you were, I had to. I had to.” You bit your bottom lip, unable to articulate words as he picked up his pace, tightened and loosened his grip, and brought in his other hand. “It hurt to see you injured, but I had to what had to be done. I needed you to make me yours. You don’t belong with anyone else besides me. Your dreams, your work ethic, your body, your mind, they’re all mine, and now, with this,” he motions to the raw, bloodied skin of his neck, “my plan has come to fruition beautifully. It’s like the universe deemed it so.” Your breathing escalated. His thumb moved to tease the head of your cock. “You’re all,” he laughed, “fucking mine.” 

He met your lips the same time your release spilled into the open air. “Now,” he leaned back, “let’s keep going, hm?”

#light x reader #yandere light yagami x reader #m!reader #x m!reader #death note fic #yandere death note #Light Yagami #death note #tw yandere #tw: yandere #tw: dubcon #tw dubcon #tw: a/b/o

[jiminrings]

homebound

pairing: yoongi x y/n

glimpse: race car driver!yoongi is a tiny bit fond of pit stop crew!y/n, grumpy crew chief!jimin will be the bANE of your existence, and jungkook is ur saving grace for bumper stickers whenever u wanna surprise yoongi :D

wordcount: 21k

notes: ok if u know charlie leclerc from F1, he was the inital reason why i wanted to write this au with yoongi!! think of this as an au with a mix of F1-level type of class and racing, but with a NASCAR type of pit crew that only has five members instead of formula one’s twenty!! i also asked my close friend for info since she’s an avid f1 fan to add on to my prior knowledge!! this is a work of fiction and accuracy does nOt always result to fun so pls just enjoy this!!! i also made a poll to what i should write next and this was one of the options and tHEN d-2 dropped and i was !!! ok it’s settled then // pic is from pinterest but i just edited it since it looked like it was shot with a 3210 hihi

also: you can talk to my characters!!! send in an ask anytime :D

(๑>◡<๑)

jungkook, as a person, is an excellent one

he’s talented, he’s kind, he’s driven, he’s gonna buy you your meal when you don’t have enough cash on you and would say “yA PAY ME BACK LATER” but in the end, he’ll just wave it off and say “nah i was kidding it’s my treat :D”

he’s also h*ndsome but you won’t say that again and again because his ego?? his bragging rights?? what then

jungkook, as a friend, is a fun, attentive, food-inhaling and money-draining carebear that can be pERSUASIVE if he needs to be

he lets u have the last slice of pizza!! or the last pringle or the last pearl in the massive cup of milktea you split with two straws and a giant butter croissant

he holds the umbrella up for the two of you when it’s raining and you’re sharing it

if he feels extra kind then he’ll be in the side in which there are more splatters and puddles to go through

if he feels like a sAINT then yes he may piggyback u but only if u hold up the umbrella because he’s a saint not four-arms from ben ten

7/10 times that he screenshots what’s in his cart but wouldn’t checkout, he genuinely just wants to show you because he’s excited and when you dO decide to get it for him, whether it was an actual shock or he just kept sending you screenshots until you got the hint, he makes sure to hug you until you physically can’t breathe anymore

he once saw this you liked that didn’t become your boyfriend because it turns out you were just a bet and you’re only worth a month of fucking gatorade

you’re not the most confident person ever in the worls but you’re sURE

you are worth more than month’s supply of glacier freeze for a no thoughts, head empty football jock senior

jungkook was sure too

if ur gonna be an asshat that he’s gonna hate anyway, aTLEAST make it cool blue because that belongs to top tier

he made sure he went to TOWN on that punching bag while looking at that dude

whatever he did, jungkook did with much more power and intensity and he is still maintaning eye contact after the airhead caught on and recognized him

HE NEVER SAW THE DUDE IN THE GYM AFTER

jungkook, as an athlete, is a beast and u gotta admit that

he played basketball in college while u played softball!!!

you were handpicked by your coach if you wanna try out for this once in a lifetime career opportunity aND it was sketchy at first

u kept asking on what was it about but all she said was “that’s for you to know.,.,., if you wanna accept the offer :))” and you were eventually driven to the edge because you wanted to know so badly

and then it turns out u were the ONLY one in your softball team to be handpicked as she said and then u were instructed to go to the gym in which there were chairs lined up

oh god is this a cult

there were a couple other people too and you could recognize some of them from the swimming team and this girl from weighlifting and that dude from football

they too did not have any idea at aLL

you just decided to sit by the last row... y’know... just in case....

and then jungkook strolls in confused as fUCK but in the same time excited and he sits beside you because he’s thinking the same thing of what if this was sketchy shit!!

you just knew him then because he looked familiar and you may have seen him asleep in your calc class a couple of times

and also because his hair was peach

how could u possibly forget that aha

“oH i like your uniform!!”

jungkook immediately spoke what was on his mind and pointed to your softball uniform u were still in and then your response was to freeze

ok that might have been too forward and-

“i know right?? oH MY GOD!! i signed up for softball in the first place because the uniform was sO COOL!!”

“bro i joined basketball because i heard that tHE WARMERS WERE SO SOFT”

:D

and then a friendship was born

the both of you were not thinking anymore about the fact that you’re both in a gym with no instructions whatsoever bc you’re too excited to be talking about what’s happening!!!

you joined a sport jUST for their uniforms?? oh my god i did that TOO

turns out that jungkook was actually great at basketball and he just knew then

also turned out that u were a gifted natural in softball even if you didn’t fully grasp the mechanics at first

“but when do i oH IS IT MY TIME TO RUN??? no?? not yet?? oh aha yeah i guess i run that fast :D”

the two of you bonded so good that it was immediately decided that u are really meant to be friends with each other

sometimes people mistake the both of you as a couple and u know what,,, sometimes the two of you take advantage of that because a fREE DESSERT?? ice cream on the house?? celebratory cake because jungkook one time jokingly went down on one knee and proposed a ring pop to you that he just saw LYING on the ground???

don’t mind if u do :)))

jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member, is a really comforting (and sometimes annoying) presence

he doesn’t question when you get whiney from the fatigue settling in and instead? he just whines with you!!

the impromptu meeting in the gym? it was actually an orientation and introduction to try out for a pit stop crew program for this really really popular racing organization :D

athletes were in-demand because the discipline and the speed and the skills were needed

and you were filtered furthermore and it just ended up with only the handful of you

of course you could opt out but if you do pursue to go through, and if you do exceptionally good, then you might just be one of the two people they’re gonna hire as a part of the pit stop crew after you graduate!!

god training was rigorous and the practical test was even more nerve-wracking

you were put in pairs and in groups to see how the camaraderie and teamwork would show and bEST BELIEVE THAT YOU AND JUNGKOOK.,.,.

exceptional

breathtaking

best work

not to toot your own horn or anything ://

aha and those two positions? of course it went to the two of you!!

but jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member but for your oPPONENT TEAM is beyond irking

you see...

it was guaranteed that you and jungkook would be accepted into the organization

what wasn’t guaranteed, however, is that the two of you would be a member of the same pit crew

u found that hIGHLY confusing because what for... you guys saw how kook and i work together.... don’t you want that idk intact?????

“hobi-hyung’s gonna win this time. i guarantee you that. i bet you HALF of my food allowance”

hobi aka jung hoseok is a force to be reckoned with

you always see him in races and u know enough about him because jungkook just won’t shut up about how great he is!!

he’s a very giggly and joyful person and sometimes you just can’t help smiling when you see him getting interviewed over by their spot

kook’s introduced you to hobi a couple of times eagerly now and hobi does not!! forget!! names!!

it’s a lil conflict of interest for you and jungkook to be openly best friends while being in oppositing teams, but that doesn’t seem to stop heh

hoseok shook your hand firmly and eVEN added another hand so your hand is sandwiched by his and he has a permanent :D on his face

u immediately got why jungkook was so fascinated and happy to be working with him

“i mean nO offense to hobi, kook, and he’s like a rEALLY really great guy and a great driver and i have tons of respect for him also i totally get why you’re whipped for him bUT-“

“ᵒᵏ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ”

“he’s great, but not min yoongi great!!”

he already had that coming

how can jungkook not anticipate that when you have said that to him a million times already

that guy barely even talks to you but he’s so chatty with literally Everyone But You

he has a theory

theorieS actually

ok first one is that ur a guardian angel for yoongi

WAIT NO HEAR HIM OUT FOR A SEC

you just gravitate towards him!! you wanna be around yoongi as much as you can in non-stalker way but rATHER in guardian angel ways

you and jungkook are almost always in the same place at the same time given your jobs

also sketchy for kook because it could be seven in the evening and you’d call him using the hotel phone and go

“eY JUNGKOOK do u wanna come with me to this pub :) to celebrate yoongi’s win today :) do you :) please :) say yes pls :)”

“y/n baby hOW many time do i have to remind you that i am yOUR team’s opponent,,, jung hoseok is the OPPONENT of min yoongi,,,”

“... how many drinks do u want”

...

...

“fINE i’m gonna wear a hoodie again and i’ll get a cab to tail your team’s car and i’ll come inside the pub five minutes after again and tHEN i’ll pretend to bump into you. a g a i n”

plus you always have the heart eyes for yoongi no matter how blank he is with you or frustrated he gets after a sucky race

second theory: you’re not a guardian angel; you probably just have a crush on yoongi

:O

wait does th is mean that lovers are like angels, and angels are like lovers?

goddamn

omg he should’ve just become a poet or something

get those hands busy with typing up the same message but in different wordings and nOT lifting up cars under time pressure or change a wheel like your life depended on it

lmao maybe he should become a singer or something

“but it is true!”

“you use his name as an adjective now!!”

“lol true the sunset was yoongi today”

god jungkook’s thinking if it’s possible to drown himself in this glass of water because eW you’re so in love and for WHAT

“what’s tHAT supposed to mean??”

“beautiful!! c’mon jungkook think every now and then!!”

yoongi just isn’t a name in the game

he is the name of the game

his dad was a famous racer up until his retirement

and then his grandfather set the family name into racing because boi is he a legend too

AND THEN HERE HE IS

yoongi’s been karting ever since he was like what?? six years old??

ultimately ever since he was a kid, he knew he wanted to do racing too

he just didn’t want his family’s reputation preceding him

(he was also thinking of wAIT do i actually have skills oR do i just have “skills” because it’s expected from me)

plot twist he did have skills

he tried out and just had his name as suga

and then when he knocked out those officials and got them sTANDING up from their seats because they really needed what was happening to sink in, that’s when he just dropped the truth bomb

“oh aHA actually i’m min yoongi!! nice to meet you!!”

he was just talented like that

so talented that he almost went with moto racing instead because he knew how to drive motorcyles!!

rode a bike twice and he immediately went pSH give me a motorbike nOW PLS :((

one time he fell out of balance and dislocated his shoulder and yoongi then decided that will never do that again lmao

the thing is, you haven’t had a proper lengthy conversation with yoongi that had some substance to it

it’s your default congratulations and you’re “oMG you killed it out there you were a bEAST!!” and him just going “thanks!” and then walking off

you wanna call him nicknames

if it’s not yoongi, then either it’s sir or it’s mr. min

and it’s no fun :((

how come jungkook can call hoseok HOBI

you really just wish you were as close

sometimes if you’re lucky, yoongi gets your name right!!

it’s okay!! yoongi’s just a little bit reserved with you!! that’s all!! :)

it’s a race day anyway and you all just headed out to the circuit fairly early

yoongi’s sitting by himself wearing a white shirt underneath his racing suit and uWu he looks so comfy :((

normally in practice days and practice drills, he’d be also sitting by himself as he looks wistful staring out

but no not really

he would pull out his phone a couple seconds later oR pass out and wake up when he feels like falling because one of his talents was to fall asleep sitting

sitting.,.. the seat doesn’t even need to have a backrest.,..,

the season is about to end and you dON’T want to pass another season without atleast attempting to invoke some reaction from him with how much you interact with him

you smiled at him more than a hundred times already but he just goes :] and then walks off AGAIN

you’re gonna be proactive!! you’re gonna do these moves!! yOU’RE GONNA OWN IT :D

you’re striding very confidently to where yoongi’s sat and he doesn’t take notice because his back’s turned to you and you’re walking too fast and motivated that he probably doesn’t hear you

wait maybe you need to back-track a little

“am i — am i supposed to know why you’re giving me a pill and what is this pill?”

maybe you should have done a better way to do this aHa

“w-what?? oH nO NO it’s not — it’s a caffeine pill!!”

yoongi’s mouth forms into a lil :O and he tilts his head, trying to register and find your face in the memory bank for his pit crew

“i just — i just noticed aND uh y’know it’s not only me?? it’s just that i- we know that you drink coffee a lot and you aren’t allowed to drink it when it’s an actual game and not practice, because it’s gonna make you pee-“

maybe you shouldn’t be talking about pee

this is the longest (one-sided) conversation you’ve ever had with yoongi without him walking away and you’re talking about body fluids!!!!

it’s okay it’s cool

he probably knows what you’re talking about anyway

everything he wears is heavy-duty fire-proof material from his undies to his racing suits aND so does the pit crew

it’s gonna make you sweat a lot!! it was a given

yoongi doesn’t drink much water in the first place and he only gulps down liters of it when he’s officially done with his race

he doesn’t drink coffee before an actual race either because it just does these things to him

caffeine makes him focused but the particular one that he favors makes him tOO focused

and also coffee makes you pee more than any other!!

plus yoongi swears too that he’s nEVER peed in his racing suit ever and he’s gonna stand by that no matter how much stoopid questions he gets or teases

“point is, you can be a liTTLE bit out of yourself when you don’t have your fix a-and i mean absolutely nO offense yoongi sir aha mmmmh just!! here!! a caffeine pill!!”

he’s looking down on your palm and he takes into detail that the pill was lying snugly on a bed of pREMIUM tissue paper

hmmm this looks like those soft tissues from his hotel room???? is it just him???

you put it there not oNLY for presentation, but also because giving it to him with your bare hands that are gettin sweaty with how nervous you are is unhygienic

god ur struggles

“jungkook is this tissue tOO crumpled?? like does it look intentional crumple, or like an effortless cUte crumple???”

“are u out of your fucking mind?? oh my gOD no it’s too crumpled!! let me do it”

y/n!!

that’s it!! that’s your name!! you’re y/n!!

yoongi can’t believe that there’s this girl from his pit crew that is giving him a caffeine pill because-

“this is nice of you. very considerate.”

yo

did yoongi just talk to you

u have officially lowered your goals in life!! you can nOW perish peacefully knowing that yoongi has said something else to you besides “thanks” :D

he snatches your lil napkin bed and takes the pill and your other hand is a bit lonely because you’re holding a bottle of his special water and-

did he just

did he just swallow a pill dry

people who swallow their pills dry SCARE YOU

they are to be feared honestly

however there are exceptions hehe

tHIS ONLY MAKES YOU WANT TO KNOW YOONGI MORE!!

although you really can’t

not when you can literally hear your crew chief’s footsteps towards you and you’re just smiling through :D

you don’t know a park jimin

no you don’t aha :D

sometimes denial is the key!!!

“y/n, go do some stretches with your crew.”

sometimes u really really just wanna rattle jimin back and forth

he’s a grumpy crew chief!! a strict one!! one that wouldn’t let an ice cream man give out treats, because in his words, it is completely unnecessary

vernon got assigned as ice cream man and his feelings were HURT

jimin’s exceptional, no doubt about that

his strategies coincide well with yoongi’s and it contributes to the winning formula

what you just don’t like is how he’s grumpy with almost everyone else, but he’s extra grumpy with you

you offered a piece out of your packet of gummy bear ones

jimin just stared at you up and down, eyes narrowed as he looks as if he’s been offended big-time

“are you trying to woo me with your citric acid obsession?”

woo wHAT

yOU WHAT????

“jIMIN-“

and then he crossed his arms across his chest as you’re trying to reason out that you were just being considerate and nOt trying to woo him!!!

“aish. if you’re gonna woo me, atleast go for a proper attempt. a granola bar. that’s good. i’m gonna deny you anyway, but atleast that one isn’t laughable.”

you cannot

you seriously cannot comprehend wHY is jimin like this

he has this habit of clicking his tongue and shaking his head and THEN walking away

people walking away from you is a trend apparently

“but jimin i already stretched aND warmed up today”

he hums at that but you have a feeling that your words are just going through one ear and out of the other

you just love being chastised by your crew chief in front of yoongi <3

“with jungkook?”

wait who is jungkook

yoongi suddenly has more interest into this conversation because uh who is jungkook and why does the name itself kinda intimidate him

he’s kinda familiar with the name but nOT the face

:(

is this your thing

is your thing giving out caffeine pills?? this is just a normal occurrence and he shouldn’t feel this AWED at the sentiment??

“yeah!! and we did both our warm-ups!! tWICE if i might add!!”

jimin knows about jungkook tho

he knows how you’re best friends and opponents in a technical sense

he’s a little wary of that still but he guesses that it just can’t be helped???

there’s a lot of talk on the field with how great jungkook is as a pit crew member anyway!! they were surely a bit confused too on with how the two of you were separated but it’s for the better (?) anyways considering that you’re both aces

good for hobi

good for yoongi

bAd for jimin!!! and you’re his favorite

his favorite when it comes to scolding even when you particularly haven’t done anything

tough love

“.... hmmmm”

“mmmmmh”

yoongi feels like he has to add on to the conversation because he’s gotta admit that it’s somehow entertaining

he’ll ask jimin later about this jungkook guy anyway :))

“i didn’t see it though. do it again.”

smile thru da pain :)))

yoongi placed second in this race though and although that isn’t entirely bad, he is still kinda upset because that just means he’s second best :((

hobi placed first!!

he’s all cool about it and yoongi doesn’t wanna be bitter but he iS mad at himself for not getting pole position for this race

so for every race for the season, there’s three qualifying sessions to determine your position in the grid!! if it all adds up and you’re the one with the fastest times, then u become the pole-sitter

acquiring the pole position aka being the pole-sitter puts a driver at an advantage because they’re first in line!! aND they don’t have to weave in between cars at the back and fight for getting ahead

it’s cool that’s cool :))) yoongi’s got pole position more than a handful times anyway :))) he’s just giving out chances for the others :))) 

he’s kind like that :)))

[ yoongi is bURNING in the inside tho ]

there’s what?? like eight more races in this whole championship season?? yeah he could make this work no pressure

the caffeine pill,,, however.,.,.,,

“well?? how did it work out??”

jungkook is beyond impatient now because you keep getting into telling the story of how it went with yoongi but you jUST kept getting distracted

it’s only fair because yah the race just ended and you and jungkook didn’t opt to go back to the hotel with your teams so you could eat out from the stalls here after a really tiring day!! you deserve it!!

“okAy so like i was really nervous, yeah?? so i walked and then oOOOOOH CHEESY BEEF FRIES!! jungkook look omg cHEESy beef fries!! hold on lemme-”

you are aging jungkook and he swears by that

“nO no!! here!!! i already bought them!!! can you just oH my god!! y/n please stand STILL”

he’s holding you still with both of his hands grounding your shoulders wHILE his hands are still holding up his food and drinks and none of them are spilling?

that’s: talent

he’s been antsy ever since you texted him before the race started that you’re diving in head-first without a proper plan!! he was writing an elaborate plan in bullet points on his dotted notebook and tHen you’re telling him that you’re gonna dive straight in??

first of all how dare u

second of all pLEASE just tell him how it went

“five bites of fries, two minutes of telling how it went.”

ok he is a really great negotiator and also you’re already shoving like three in your mouth so this is more favorable than what he bargained for

jungkook does find you a pain in the ass sometimes like there is nO denying that absolutely

but he can attest to the fact that you are a GREAT storyteller

like damn your emotions?? hand gestures?? how you’d eVEN switch positions so he could get visuals of how it went down?? perfection like so good that jungkook feels so flustered because omg?? so tHIS is why you have a crush on yoongi aha

you’re not gonna lie,, jungkook sometimes decreases your lifespan for a solid seven months at the least

but you’re lying too when you say that he isn’t a dAMN good listener/audience

his doe eyes get even bigger and he is dang expressive and he’s never insincere and doesn’t exaggerate tOO much to the point that it’s obnoxious!!

and he doesn’t pick any story of yours!! he is vERY genuine!!!

[ sputters while drinking his iced tea ] “jimin cockblocked aGAIN???”

[ crouches to the floor when you went out to the mall alone because he didn’t want to and ended up meeting owen wilson, the guy who voiced lightning mcqueen ] “WHAT??????? YOU WHAT????? YOU’RE TELLING ME WHAT???????”

[ sobs because he didn’t meet owen wilson ] “i’m just so *wails* i’m just rEGRETTING every *heaves* single decision i made a-and *fans tears* i should’ve just went with you :(((”

[ giggles and shrieks continuously for ten minutes and keeps hugging you because you bought him those big boots that you call romper stompers for his birthday ] “you did nOT!! oh my god they’re really mine?? MINE??? you’re telling me that these are mINE now??? omg omg i could die rn y/n i swear i LOVE YOU!!! i’m not gonna step on u i swear :(( thank you thank you :(((”

yoongi couldn’t be anymore smiley

like sure enough, his mind should only stay in the game when he is in the game

he can’t think about what he wants for dinner later that night or let his thoughts drift because otherwise, hE’S the one that’s going to drift

but maybe

just maybe when he’s at the last stretch and hobi’s already crossed the finish line and the closest driver behind him is like lmao a kilometer away

he just can’t help thinking about you!! and the napkin bed you made for his caffeine pill!! and how he doesn’t get why he’s never talked to you before because like you’re cute n all :D

he’s never seen a pit crew member talk back to jimin like that before and yeah sure you’re playful but not overstepping it ya know

“so jimin,,, y/n, amirite?”

jimin’s a lil bit confused because uhhh yoongi has never talked to him

about you before but he’s not that bothered

“... yeah?”

...

...

“jimin this is the part where you tell me about y/n”

“how was i supposed to know? you only said her name!! is that like a signal or wHAT??”

“couldn’t i be anymore obvious??”

the bottom line is that yoongi got a crash course when it came to you and he couldn’t be any more grateful for jimin

he’s also confirmed that jungkook isn’t ur boyfriend but that’s kinda debatable because jimin added an “i’m not eNTIRELY sure though” and yoongi hates him for it!!

there’s just something about yoongi that you can’t shake off

and you don’t wanna fall that deep because it’s just a crush!! just a harmless crush and u know you aren’t probably gonna stand a chance :((

although you’re just gonna keep that to yourself because kook will probably lecture you for five minutes and THEN smack you in the head because you’re bringing yourself down again

jungkook knows you’re a natural ace like c’mon yoongi’s just gonna be a piece of cake!!

yeah sure yoongi doesn’t initiate conversation with your or barely holds eye contact and can barely remember your name, only recalls you as part of his team, and can be ignoring the things you’re doing for him bUT I MEAN THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE DETERMING FACTORS, RIGHT??right??

pls say right

jungkook’s convincing himself as much as you’re convincing yourself that u have a chance with yoongi

you can’t help it :((

you love that smile!! that smile when he knows how good he’s done that he automatically could tell that he’d be getting an extra point since he’s the one who was the fastest on that lap!or that laugh when he pops out a cork of champagne once again and he’s getting the hang of it

his calm demeanor looks so cute even when he isn’t even doing anything in particular and how it could be so hot especially when his stare’s just rigid

you’ve been in celebratory going out parties in bars with your team to know that yoongi’s just boisterous and chatty when he gets drunk

he even gets cLINGY to whoever’s sitting beside him and it’s usually jimin and he can even make jimin yield to having oNE more shot with him :((

in meetings too!!!

yoongi’s personal style is just mostly black and sometimes when he’s feeling spicy, he’d add in some random pastels or perhaps even a small nEON detail

his cheeks tooyou just wanna kiss them so bad :(((

they’re so plump and full whenever he pouts and smiles and you have to gRIP your fist just to get rid of the l*nging in your system

YOONGI HAS PIERCED EARS TOO

MULTIPLE PIERCINGS!!!you’ve never seen him wear earrings tho and that’s saddening

jewelry, most especially on drivers, is just a big no-no because just in cAse the driver catches on fire or not, it’s still a big hazard

you once saw yoongi walking in the hallway just as you were about to exit the elevator to go to ur hotel room and he was wearing a wATCH

u almost went feral goddamn

you see yoongi again after your caffeine pill advance on him? a necklace, maybe? those thick chain bracelets like the ones jungkook wears? him wearing rings? it could be a blinged-out diamond band or a heart-shaped plastic ring from a kinder egg and you would sTILL GO FERAL

“i just wish — j-just wish that red string lovers exist in real life, y’know, kook?? do you get what i’m saying?”

jungkook wishes that was a real thing too

you’re just a bit vulnerable because u have some alcohol in your system

a little bit emotional

meanwhile jungkook is just straight up bland and is up for no fun

three-drink jungkook is boring

you should see five-drink jungkook!! hE’S A WILD ONE that could backflip with a 70% success rate of not throwing up after

“i do. i wish that red string lovers do exist. kind of like that movie, kimi no nawa. i love that movie.”

...

“... jungkook. omg a-are you saying i should like, tie a red string on my pinky and tHEN on yoongi’s pinky!! in this way, i could always be connected to him and we’re like never gonna stay away from each other!!”

...

“i believe that would be called stalking.”

“no i meant fIGURATIVELY”

this three-drink jungkook is no fun

what you’re gonna do is get him to drink more because the motto for pit crew members is “drink as if it’s your last because it IS!!!”

drinking kinda messes up workout routines and the semi-strict diet the members are put on to ensure you’re all strong and enduring

so drinking is just reserved for wins or when the crew chief allows it and MAYBE just maybe when you and kook decide to get a lil sip and sharing a can won’t hurt :D

“okay, okay. another one!! drink another one!!”

you have to physically make jungkook drink because he doesn’t wanna hold the shot glass claiming that it’s too dirty and before he gets iffy even more, you just bring the glass to his lips and even put a hand underneath his chin because you are tHAT great of a friend

sometimes you just need to credit yourself for being a really great best friend to jungkook

four-drink jungkook is a BUNNY

he’s starting to ascend to his five-drink state and therefore through the process, he’s crinkling his nose more

the nose crinkle and the smile that highlights his two front teeth has always been in effect but this one’s just more persistent

he doesn’t hop like a bunny tho or like even stand because that’s six-drink dance bot jungkook’s moves

instead

he just-

cHOMPFS

jungkook’s just biting down on your shoulder SOFTLY

the same gentleness of a golden retriever with an egg on its mouth!!he’s not nibbling or biting down or anything!! he’s just oMPH :D

there’s no rhyme or reason to why he’s doing this and you’re unsure either lmao you’ve told him before what he does drunk when he’s sober and he goes?? lol what i do tHAT???

you don’t mind honestly

you’re thankful that you’re wearing a black hoodie and it’s made with a fluffy cotton material!! it’s a win-win and u can even feel jungkook smiling

the alcohol isn’t hitting you JUST yet but u. r aware that you’re getting a tad more chatty now and then suddenly you’re telling jungkook a summary of this sugar stars episode in which they were supposed to make cupcakes for this luxury jewelry brand and in oNE of the cupcakes there should be like a necklace worth thousands of dollars bUT THEY FORGOT IF THEY ALREADY PUT IT IN THE BATCH AND-

“hey, is this guy bothering you, y/n?”

you hear a velvety voice interrupting you and it’s oddly familiar

said person extends his hand to put on your shoulder and you kinda jolt at the sudden contact and it’s just goosebumps“.... yoongi?”

:O

yoongi’s on your left side and u could clearly see him nowhE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO SQUARE UP

i mean truth be told he wASN’T supposed to be here because after placing 3rd he just didn’t wanna go part because for wHAT and he wanted to go to bed instead

but them jimin called him and asked if he was sure because like... the entire team is here and the owner of the bar is a FAN and all drinks are on the house so,,,

he jUST got here and while he was looking for jimin, the first thing he sees is the back of your head (he’s memorized it hehe) and a guy bITING DOWN ON YOUR SHOULDER and yours hands are gesturing and shit

and so he’s beyond confused to see you confused over seeing him all confused and perhaps protective

“yoongi!!”

u practically squeal and ur not gonna hide that

although he just ignores that because he’s focused on some more pressing matters at hand

“man, seriously, what the fuck? can you just back off-“

yoongi is literally about to pull jungkook away from you because up to now this dude is NOT reading the room and the fact that he is 2 seconds away from decking him

“no nO yoongi!! it’s okay lol he’s my best friend! he’s not-“

there’s a delay on words sinking to jungkook’s ears so he’s just now reacting lmao

“mfhsIR thif if mY EMOFYONAL FUPPORT MFFSHOULDER”

jungkook’s angrily lifting his eyes but not his face with it so he’s-

oH THAT’S YOONGI :D

“this is my friend who’s kinda drunk and bITES my shoulder when he’s drunk aha jungkook!! say hi, gguk”

“hI YOOMGIIII!!! i’m jungmkook :D”

kook takes a quick second to lift himself off your shoulder to give an eager wave to yoongi

oH that face is familiar

jungkook?

jungkook jungkook oH THIS IS THE JUNGKOOK HE ASKED JIMIN ABOUT

whew

honestly he was kinda scared because when yoongi got a closer look when he was fuming, jungkook looked like a big buff guy and he was a little scared because-oh jungkook just went back to biting your shoulder ://

“i thought you weren’t gonna come?”

“i thought i was gonna fight sOMEONE”

hehe

you can’t help but feel a lil bit happy that omg yoongi cares for u

and although he’s mistakened jungkook as a pervert whose modus operandi is to bite at shoulders, it’s still the thought that counts!!!!

your right shoulder that has kook attached to it feels indifferent and your left shoulder that yoongi touched for a second is ON FIRE

be still, be calm. be still, be calm. be still, be — OMG YOONGI IS SITTING BESIDE YOU FUCK

“it’s jungkook, right?”

he, for sure, knows that it is jungkook alright but he just wants to ask u know

just to be sure

although you’re kinda oblivious to the fact that he’s directing the question to you more than to jungkook himsELF bc you’re very much swayed by his gummy smile

“yeah!! he’s jungkook, alright :D”

“this might be a stupid question to ask but uh i’ve just never seen him oR like maybe it might just be my memory but jungkook’s in our team, right??? or like nO?”

“o-oh aHA about that yoongi,, sir,, actually jungkook isn’t in our team, ya know? but he DOES support us and is like whoosh a fAN of you :))”

he is having too much fun with this one

“really? but i saw him in the box before, with you, i think? lol u silly goose if you have a boyf-“

“jUNGKOOK ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND! he never was!! yoongi trust me i am very single right now i mean it!! 100%”

“are you sure? like-“

“he’s just my best friend ever since college and we’re not a thing i sWEAR!! you see him in the box sometimes because he just needs someone to buy him nachos from the stalls aND he’s a pit stop crew member for jung hoseok-“

you’d like to think that you are diffusing this situation very well

“-and that tOTALLY doesn’t matter because pfft?! i don’t even know jung hoseok like wHAAAAAT does he uhm race or sth?? whew am i right lmao can i get an amen? ᵖˡˢ ˢᵃʸ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡˢ”

yoongi already knows this bit of information and his eye does twitch at the mention of hoseok like how mr. bean is with mozambique but it’s COOL seeing you flustered is getting a really cheesy smile out of him

“do you rap?”

“no but do you want me to”

yoongi snorts and giggles at that and meanwhile you are getting THE nervous sweats because obviously you weren’t prepared for this

damn it :( you should’ve just kept jungkook sober so he could “wingman the fUCK out of you” in his own words

the only thing you could do that’s the closest to rapping is have jungkook beatbox in the background while u go bow chicka wowow bow cHICKA WOW :((

“you’re funny.”

yoongi’s still kinda dying at giggling throughout the whole interaction but he really means it sincerely ok

QUICK IS THAT A COMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT

“thanks :))”

fUck it you should’ve just said a one-liner or something, not a timid thanks or would that be trying too hard

you are getting too panicked and nervous now and the only out you see is-

“ggukie!! you want another drink?”

bless up

bless jungkook’s soul for immediately agreeing and before you know it, you’re lifting another shot glass to his lips with a hand underneath his chin

you’re gonna help him with his hangover tomorrow because he’s saving yOUR ass by easing the tension of how pATHETICALLY nervous you are with yoongi

yoongi’s persevering too because this jungkook guy has hands.. what?? does he drink his water from a formula bottle??? DOES HE NEED MILK

chile why is he getting jealous

it’s not like he’s become fond of you nor got attached to this girl that gave him a caffeine pill placed on a napkin bed after much observation of him and the sentiment behind it just makes him mushy

lol

couldn’t be him :))

:)

...

....

SIKE IT’S HIM THAT’S HIM :(((

“YOOOOOOONGIIIIIIIIIII!!!”

oh god 

oh no

it’s a drunk jimin :(

a drunk, happy, gIGGLY JIMIN

“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!”

you’re quite surprised at the sight because uH you’re used to jimin the grumpy crew chief

nOt jimin the giggly person who’s giggling at the little rainbows ur bracelet makes when the light hits it and who’s complimenting your hoodie sO HARD

mom come pick me up im scared

“y/n O-M-G where did you get those earrings because they r the bomb dot COM”

“jimin what did u drink because i am LOVING it”

“a pomelo gin mix or like fOUR of them.”

yoongi answers for jimin because he knows all too well

woop jimin’s hugging him now and his grip is tight o-okay i guess i’ll... keep you... still?

it’s not jimin’s fault :( he just likes pretty drink i mean could u blame him :(((

“aish those pack a punch for sure. you could barely taste the gin because of the juice-“

“-but it gets you drunk nonetheless no matter how much you drink it.”

:D

:D

you and yoongi are straight up CONNECTING right now vibing if u will

“yeah and some light it up on fire then take it out so it would taste smoother and seamless!!”

that’s it he’s had enough yoongi will propose to you rIGHT NOW he thought he was the only one who knew that fact

oR KNEW THE DIFFERENCE

or knew the reason for it that isn’t just to make it look cool

oh man you feel so sorry for pegging yoongi as just one of those “all beers taste the same” dudes in senior year :’’’)

“jUNGKOOOOOOOK!!!”

jimin kinda ruins the moment by opening his mouth being all excited as he points excitedly to look at who’s beside you

“YOOOOOOOOOONGIIIIIII!!!!”

“oh oh! shh!!! you’re not supposed to be here but it’s ok jungkooooook!!! i’ll just close my eyes!!!”

“h-hey guys *hiccup* have you seen jimin? because i can’t see him!!”

that’s not... that’s not how it works...

jungkook is giggling so hard and jimin’s gonna roll over anytime if it isn’t for yoongi holding him

“omg jungkook’s earrings look like windchimes :D”

“y/n omg jIMIN’S RIGHT! they do look like windchimes :D”

“i bet they also sOUND LIKE WINDCHIMES :D” jimin’s leaping out of yoongi’s hold eagerly and the both of u just know that this is gonna go bad

he’s about to faceplant because he’s slipping the moment he decided to break free

it’s a good thing you’re catching him and jimin’s embracing you now while

his legs are slack on the floor and jungkook the drunk dumbass thought it was an emergency

and in times of emergency apparently, jungkook’s move is try and hop on your back for a piggyback ride“okay, okay, time to get off y/n now!!”

yoongi chuckles as he pries jimin off of you and onto himself instead

jungkook sTILL won’t give up into having a piggyback ride from you hmp

“hey, wanna split an uber?

”you like that idea very much :D“who’s gonna sit with them at the back, though?”

“you can give me your number and i’ll volunteer tribute :))”:D

that’s good

this is good

yeah sure yoongi might’ve had to sit in the middle of jimin and jungkook that are messes

and has to endure it when young, wild and free by wiz khalifa came on aND

jimin went owo “young sound like yoongi omg”

and jungkook went and followed and the whole lyrics were yoongi wild and yoongi free

but that’s ok

that’s okay!!!

he had to say goodbye to you two floors early because that’s where jungkook’s room is and u need to tuck him in

the most he could do was walk you to the door while having a sleepy jimin use him as a crutch

all worth it though :))

“thanks for tonight, yoongi :))”

and there’s just this tentative silence because the both of you kinda felt dejected because you didn’t want tonight to end, truthfully

you press a tentative lil kiss on his cheek and

:O

“good night.”

yoongi’s cheek is tingling aHHHHHH HE’S ABOUT TO BURST

that’s so precious

YOU’RE SO PRECIOUS

alcohol doesn’t fix everything bUT ON RARE OCCASIONS IT COULD BE A BRIDGE

jungkook woke up with a killer headache because apparently when you and yoongi weren’t looking, jimin let him have a sip of his drink and he was immediately :O

but you did lessen it to an amount!!!!!

he could barely register what happened last night but what he did remember is yOONGI

just yoongi

aND THAT MEANS HE COULDN’T REMEMBER UR LITTLE CHEEK KISS :D

eventually you’d tell him but not now

jungkook’s all smiles when you were telling him on how you tucked him to bed and eVEN caved into giving him a piggyback ride

your explanation of you making him drink a full bottle of water and then some more is the reason to why he felt bloated and every time he moved in his deep sleep he was just sLOSHING around

although you didn’t get to do his skincare routine on him because he likes tapping his face

and tapping jungkook’s face while he’s drunk is like choosing death because he’d think that there were little ants on his face and he’d freak the fUck out

so you just took a makeup wipe to get the dirt off his face and put on a face mask!! minimal effort!! maximum results!! efficiency :D

yours and jimin’s dynamic is chANGING FOR THE BETTER he’s getting warmer to you now!!!

you did tease him one time about the pomelo gin drink and he glared at you

but then you whispered to his ear

“if it’s between your choice of pomelo pink gin and yoongi’s whiskey? i’d pick pink gin all the way :D”

jimin gasped out loud

friendship? bUILDING

you and yoongi??

safe to say that you’re on the closer side :D

i mean tECHNICALLY you aren’t on the commitment boat yet or like… you haven’t had a date yet…. or held hands…..

but you’re getting there!!! iT’S A PROCESS

you’ve always been his supporter in the sidelines but now u r a full-pledged cheerleader for him in the moments that you aren’t tending to his car or tending to work

practice sessions are held starting two days before the race

it’s literally just for practice and it’s for the driver to get familiar and to test out some things that may need to be tweaked furthermore

this is the only time the drivers get to drive the cars besides the actual race itself

and the race is held on sunday!!!!

two practice sessions on friday that last one and a half hours each

and a final practice session on saturday that lasts for an hour

obviously you’re there

bUT when you’re not in use, you just completely revert to cheering for yoongi by the barrier!!!“GO YOONGS!!!!!”

jimin sends you a look to keep it down because even though he has his headphones on he could sTILL hear you

you shut up of course but not without waving your hands in the air whenever yoongi’s car comes into your view :D

in qualifying sessions too!!! these are to determine the driver’s grid positions in the actual race

and eVERY driver’s goal is to earn pole position, the front-most and most advantageous position from the starting line!!!

pole position doesn’t automatically mean that you’re the winner but it does help the driver to ace at that closer!!!

you shut up in qualifying sessions because in fact, you’re nervous too there are six more races to this whole season and each one is important because yoongi and hobi?? they’re just neck-to-neck with their scores and although yoongi’s on the lead, he could nEVER BE COMPLACENT

yoongi’s pole-sitter undoubtedly with his performance and then could you breathe a sigh of relief :))

he’s stripping his racing suit slightly and by that he means taking off the velcro and getting the zipper undone and taking off his balaclava and

oBVIOUSLY his helmet

fact: race suits are extremely light but are sO HOT

yeah sure there’s been upgrades to it and that it has cooling properties now but u can’t exactly feel that when you’re gonna be in it for atleast an hour doing a proper race

his routine lately is going sTRAIGHT to you after he finishes whatever he’s doing

“you didn’t cheer me on :((“

“that’s because i was too busy rooting for you in my mind :))”

“well then root for me with your mOUTH”

“what”

“wHAT??”

yoongi’s just being a little petty and cranky, that’s all

it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t give much affection, he automatically doesn’t want to rECEIVE it :(((

admittedly, you’re kinda cutting off from the physical affection with yoongi lately because jungkook quizzed you and you’re pretty sure that you were in a default :O after

“who texts first?”

“me!! our schedules don’t exactly match up because he has a different trainer than our pit crew does but i just wanna wake up extra early to send him a text :))”

“who sleeps earlier?”

“yoongi!! lmao he loves resting whenever he can aND he even brings this diffuser with him whenever we gor from hotel to hotel!!”

“who goes to who more frequently?”

“oOoOhhh i love visiting yoongi!!! whenever i surprise him he just looks so shocked and eventually it sinks in to him”

“who exerts more effort?”

“kook i — oH.,..,.”

of course jungkook is so happy for you because look at you!! you went from admiring yoongi from afar to hanging out with him actively and even going so far as to have him kiss your cheek once!!

but no matter how supportive he is, he jus wants to be as realistic too because he doesn’t want you hurt

yes he admires how you are with him but like mAYBE you’re far in too deep and yoongi is not on the same level

and so you just came to the conclusion that maybe you were just being too enthralled in it to not see that yoongi doesn’t find the concept of you

and him together as desired as you found it to be

:((

and so maybe you’ve been detaching yourself lately

you stay in bed sleeping for as long as you’d like, and the only alarm clock you have is jimin ringing the bell on your door to let you know that training

was to start

jimin quickly catched on to what you were doing because he’s seeing less of you around yoongi??? surprisingly???

and he just couldn’t keep it in to not know what was happening so he asked jungkook

then jungkook was positively surprised and happy because jimin???? coming to him personally to ask???? omg he is gonna spill of course and so jimin was like eh… it’s the least i could do i guess….

five rings of the doorbell to wake you up

seven rings to let you know that training’s gonna start in ten minutes

ten rings to oPEN YOUR DAMN DOOR

you didn’t linger around yoongi unnecessarily and you weren’t sending those specifically niche templates you see on instagram that make you laugh

he doesn’t receive the “you’re a daughter of an astronaut and a swimmer and you’re not sure which aesthetic to pick because you’re too dizzy from accidentally inhaling chlorine in the big-ass man-made pool since you intern at nasa and u just need to lie down” lookbooks :(

he thought of it as nothing at first because eh they’re just little things!!! he barely notices anyway

WRONG

yoongi feels so devastated because why :(( won’t :(( you just :(( hUG HIM OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO

these days he feels so on edge because aHa!! anytime now, y/n’s gonna hug me :D

but then you dON’T

yoongi put on extra perfume because you like burrowing your nose to his neck whenever you hug him and wHY aren’t you hugging him

wait maybe it’s the perfume that’s throwing you off??

nevermind he’s gonna buy another hundred-dollar bottle of a different perfume it’s ok nO WORRIES and sometimes you don’t join the team breakfast and yoongi’s all lost

because hMmM??? i got u these pancakes a-and i already put the butter and the syrup….. why aren’t you here…

you’re with jungkook and his team knows about your friendship and how it came to be and they’re all just eH it’s okay y/n’s cool anyways :))

hobi’s so kind

jungkook sits in the same table as hobi and therefore that means you sit beside kook and u have no choice because he WILL insist

not because you’re his friend but also because he’s too lazy to stand and get another serving so he’ll just steal some from your plate

hobi eVEN offers to refill your glass with orange juice because his is gone too and he’s gonna get more anyway :))

yoongi can’t go over it though and he’s just wallowing because first, hoseok’s aiming for his title that he wants to retain, and nOW HOSEOK’S COMING FOR HIS Y/N???

ok his might be a little bit of a reach because he hasn’t asked you out yet but he iS getting there

he swears that he feels so lost without u :((

and so yoongi’s persistent and he vouched his day-off to be aligned with your gym day aaaand he’s here now :D

he’s right behind you!!

“hiii.”

yoongi squeezes in on the space left at your side

well you dIDN’T expect yoongi today clearly“hi pls back up a little i mAY accidentally kick you :D”

you’re doing pull-ups at the moment and you’re getting the hang of doing them!! even if this used to be the bane of your existence in your workout program and you’d sell your soul just for jungkook to call you and cry on the phone and pretend he stubbed his toe or something to get out of training

so tHAT’S yoongi’s greeting??? :((

“i haven’t seen you lately”

“hmm? i see you everyday, yoongs”

“rEALLY??”

you’re only discovering now that while doing pull-ups, you can aLSO make and maintain conversation!!

yoongi’s a bit sarcastic because your full attention isn’t on him and he guesses that it’s a given when you’re working out bUt are you even hearing what he’s saying :((

“doesn’t feel like it, though.”

ok that one made you falter a little bit

“how can you say??”

he practically huffs at that and that also goes noticed

how can you not know that???

he’s a patient person but with you, he just gets sO eager and whiney and now he just can’t cope!!!

just when he thought you were finally go down because you were slowing your movements, you were oNLY doing that just to regain your momentum for another set AND!!!

fine then :))

yoongi’s jumping up and his hands wrap around the higher bar snugly, his body pressed to yours

he’s so close oh my god yOONGI’S SO CLOSE TO YOU

you’re suspended in air and a bit breathless and yoongi’s just hanging slack and he’s about to burst into a smile because uH success!!!

his lips look so kISSABLE and his cheeks are plump and his eyes are v enchanting and wHEW you’re sweating at this point and it’s nOt from working out

yoongi only tilts his head as he earns the reaction he wanted and more :D

“who’s your trainer? sehun?”

“y-yeaHh???”

“m’kay.”

he’s not content just yet and for a split second, yoongi tilts his face to the side of yOUR face and his lip barely brush to the shell of your ear

“i’ll pull you out of this one. eat lunch with me.” the sound of yoongi dropping back down to the floor makes you jOLT because oh.,., oh that rEALLY DID JUST HAPPEN HUH

what a menace

your heart is too weak for yoongi

you are sO whipped :’’’)

so whipped that you cave into jungkook’s demands

jungkook’s aLWAYS been your sticker guy

he just has stickers… that he either makes or acquires but he isn’t telling where from… and either gives or sells them to u

he has this label maker too that could print your name on or whatever you want to put on your stuff

he would even input little stars or little hearts or even lil dinosaurs if you want him to!!!

you don’t know how and why but wHEREVER you go, jungkook always has stickers on him

AND THIS IS REALLY SPECIAL OK

you specifically told jungkook to curate like a ten-pack out of the things you told him about yoongi

he has the reigns aS LONG as he thinks (and it better be) that it screams min yoongi!!

it’s just that you wanna give gifts to yoongi and you don’t need aNY occasion just to give presents

you were deep in thought and your head blanked and then went…

stickers…. get him stickers

snickers???

…. stickers ….

sNEAKERS???

…. stickers dUMB BITCH i said stickers!!!! …..

lol u love ur mind

and when you said that to jungkook, he fell both honored AND pressured like what if yoongi decides not to like you anymore because of your (his) sticker choices

what then

damn ur wrong for this

jeez jungkook’s becoming the backbone of your blossoming relationship ://

sigh but it’s cool,, jungkook’s used to becoming a fundamental part to society

jungkook’s ringing your bell so early in the morning because he just got done last night with completing his collection!! and you iMMEDIATELY need to see it as per his insistence

ok they r pretty cool

there’s yoongi’s name in a really cool yet sophisticated font that just screamed yoongi to you!!

there’s Agust D in a big bold formal font!! you remember that story of how yoongi was born and raised briefly in daegu then they had to move and he misses his hometown

he was about to use Agust D as his name when he first tried out for racing but the name itself made so many heads turn so he was just,,, too spicy,,,

i’ll make it suga

OMG YOUR INITIALS

jungkook’s wild for that one but omg you’re giggling because wow u like that

“clouds?? and the sky’s purple??”

“i think eVERYBODY likes clouds”

“well some pilots don’t”

“what makes them think that clouds like them back?”

wait

“a cat??… flipping me off???”

“lol ok funny story but yoongi flipped me off once LMAOOO”

“… he did what”

“i’ll tell u the story later but this, THIS — okay i don’t know if it’s just me, but yoongi looks like a cat, y’know?? like i sWEAR i could see cats in him, and then i see him in cats. do you get me??”

“gguk-“

“and he wears headbands, right? LOOK I EVEN DREW HIM A HEADBAND!! :D”

ok you aren’t gonna lie

this ten-pack goes pretty fucking hard if you may say so

“how much do i owe you, kook?”

“that would be fifty dollars :D”

“fifty wait wHAT?? FIFTY DOLLARS?? WHAT??? JUNGKOOK SAY SIKE”

psh atleast it was worth a shot

“fine. tHIRTY dollars.”

“THIRTY DOLLARS?????”

you know for a fact that these ten stickers aREN’T worth tHIRTY DOLLARS

the highest jungkook’s ever charged you is $10 for a pack of ninety-nine he even took one from the sticker booklet and he only said that after he sold it to u

you both know that these aren’t $30 :((

it’s always a take it or leave it situation because you know hobi is a sucker for stickers :((

“…. fine.” you pull thirty dollars from your wallet and that’s thirty dollars ur never gonna get back

jungkook’s a bit frazzled because wHAT

you actually gave him tHIRTY dollars??

they don’t even cOST _____ dollars!!!

it’s just awkward now when he tries to take back what he said

“… as a special gift.,.,. i’m gonna put them.,.,. in a nice envelope.,., that i uh doodled hearts on…”

quick if jungkook was a seller on redbubble, how many stars would you rate him

this better have a gREAT PAYOFF

spoiler alert: it did!!!

YOONGI LOVES THEM

“i mean i’m not saying you should put these on your race car because i kNOW every gram matters on it and like — sTICKERS!! u can stick them anywhere am i right :D”

:O

“do you uh,, do you like it? ˡᵃʸ ᶦᵗ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵍᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵒⁿ ᵐᵉ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”

“y/n bABY ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? i love them sO MUCH!! like look aH OMG IT’S ME THAT’S — I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THIS CAT RIGHT???”

it went great!!!

above and beyond than what you expected

“thank you thank you dO YOU KNOW that you’re the best eVER :(((“

yoongi is so touched and awed over a pack of sTICKERS and it’s the little joys and you that make him the happiest

he’s so excited and pumped because he can’t pick on where to put them because they’re so precious and in the same time he doesn’t wanna use them because they’re tOO precious

yoongi’s about to kiss your cheek in the same time you wanna explain some of them and-

oh

he’s kissing the corner of your mouth

he only realizes when you squeak a little and he feels just so unexplainable with pure bliss that’s going through his body omg

and then yoongi pulls away to gauge your reaction because he was iNITIALLY gonna go for a cheek kiss but now that’s out of the bank because he wants more and-

oh god his cheeks are already on fire and tHIS WAS JUST A KISS TO THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH ACCIDENTALLY

it’s time to clear his throat and attempt to clear his mind“is uHhH sehun? 

sehun the trainer today?”

“yeaH it’s sehun…”

yoongi please say what i want you to say

pleathe

“i can — i cAN bail you out, if you want.,.. you uH ˢʰᶦᵗ do you wanna go karting with me?? like, right now??? it’s okay if you don’t wanna bUt i mean ᶠᵘᶜᵏ uhHhH-“

“yeah :)) i wanna go karting with you :))”

yoongi’s a mess and hE’S the nervous one now and he keeps scratching the back of his neck and he can’t maintain eye contact

he was about to explain that he’s not pressuring you wait dID YOU JUST SAY

“yes?? yeah?? oH that’s cool :D”

“do i need to get changed or-“

i mean you’re still in your workout leggings and a big black shirt jungkook has an aBUNDANCE of so u just stole one and tried out embroidery!!

it’s not the best aha

kinda ugly because it’s massive on you and u just take it off whenever the workout progresses to be harder

“no!! no!! don’t worry!! i’ll bring my backpack!! just take yourself, y/n, i’ll take care of you ʷᵃᶦᵗ ʷᵃᶦᵗ aHA!!! i’ll pack my shirts for you and water and like snacks omg i will be back in fIVE minutes!!!”

there’s kinda no protest since yoongi’s already dashing out of your hotel room and into his… and he’s leaving you alone and he swears that this will only take fIVE minutes

he’s a nervous wreck

but yOU are too

because wait

this is your first date!!

THIS COUNTS AS YOUR FIRST DATE

oh god you are gonna cOMBUST

it did take five minutes and perhaps even earlier!!

yoongi’s managed to even get a cap for you and sUNBLOCK

he has a driver hired and that’s kinda ironic because hE’S the driver but he doesn’t mind!!!

he’s sitting with you at the second row and you’ve never really properly been out the city ever since you got here because leisure trips aren’t exactly in your schedule

the buildings and the scenery are so cool and authentic and yoongi’s just staring at you as you stare out :(((

why are you so beautiful :(((

he’s envisioned taking you out for go-karting as your first date but nOT NOW

yoongi’s accidentally kissed you once on the corner of your mouth and he is now forever a changed man

his mind immediately went wOOP take y/n karting nOW

yoongi has a pinterest board with ideas for a first date

picnics are cute but there’s just so much aNTS and mosquitoes and flies would go to ur food when you turn away for a single second!!!

not to mention that he never checks the weather reports lmao

and grass with how soggy they could he eVEN if it didn’t rain???

disgusting

there’s always the option of dinner dates too

but sometimes they could be just SO boring and it’s a hit or miss whether you’d like the food because you don’t like overly fancy restaurants y’know

not to mention that they r overrated and the food isn’t that good to your taste bUT maybe that’s just you

he’s searched this place up a couple days ago and look!!! they have karts that have tWO seats on them

maybe he could rent out the place or pull out the “no it’s MIN YOONGI” card and he can drive you around and stuff :D

it’s postive to say that you’re vERY excited

“last one to cross the finish line buys the winner gifts for a whole week bYEEEE”

wait

that’s not-

tHAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GO

apparently this is how yOU want it to go

the idea of yoongi driving you around in go-karts didn’t cross your mind once

you thought that you were gonna race against him and gOD ARE YOU SO EXCITED

you work on cars not drive in cars

the closest you’ve ever went to karting is going on bumper cars when jungkook took you to the amusement park!!!

it’s not racing because all you and kook did was bump the other as mUCH as possible to the point that the attendant was :/// are they ok

you know how to drive!!!

not to flex or anything but u dO have a professional driver’s license aha :D

although that doesn’t mean shit if ur kinda being honest

do you know how to drift a car like what they do in fast and the furious?? probably yes

jungkook was “breaking in” his car and he took you to the dealership with him and the car just felt so sTIFF and then he saw an empty parking lot….

and well you didn’t exactly STOP him because it isn’t your car

how could you stop someone from doing something that you yourself wANT to do

can you drive as fast as yoongi?? possibly yes

will it be as clean and as easy as he makes it to be?? heck no

yoongi’s chasing after you because oh you are dEDICATED now to racing against him

you’re even scrambling to put your race suit on iN FRONT OF HIM and it makes him all flustered as he tries to keep up by turning and putting on his own

“now don’t go easy on me, okay???”

yoongi’s a bit confused because what did u just say

not to fuel his ego or anything but madame he is a race car driver and it runs in his blood and the skill is in his name

he loves u (although he hasn’t said that yet) but he doesn’t want to ruin all your hopes and dreams

“just race as what you normally do and i’ll do my oWN!!! :D”

o-okay

you’re fast!!!as fast as go-karts could go!!!

you even turned down yoongi’s offer of a ten-second head start because wHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT

you are as happy and as giddy as you could ever be

yoongi, on the other hand, is worried a ton

you’re still a bit cautious when it comes to curves and to turning and

yoongi’s heart physically stops whenever you go through them because now you’re starting to pick up the pace around them

you’re getting used to the curves as you go on and you’re starting to maintain speed aND go through curves smoothly

he’s happy that you’re happy but god he’s just tERRIFIED okay

the list of what could possibly go wrong is evading his mind and for god’s sake, he’s a rACE CAR DRIVER HIMSELF!!!!! with custom top-speed cars and not go-karts!!! and not once did this list cross his mind whenever he drives

it’s just now hitting him that his profession’s dangerous

but your profession tOO is dangerous!!!

you may not be the driver put you are a part of the pit stop crew that tends to the car the driver’s racing!!!!

fIRES!!! pneumatic torque guns that are sO DANGEROUS!!!! wheels!!!!! gas!!!!! the driver himself when he’s in a rush and could possibly injure people along the way!!!!!

yoongi’s going down on a spiral so harsh that he didn’t even notice that not only did you pass him, but you’re also farther away from him sIGNIFICANTLY and before he knows it, you finished first!!

:D

“yoongs yoongs did you see me dID YOU SEE ME?????? :D”

you jump up to yoongi the moment he gets out of his kart and he instantly catches you and puts his hands underneath your thighs to secure you

your arms are even around his neck and you are incredibly close to yoongi more than you could ever wrap your head around

“mhmmmm ‘course i did!!”

he mindlessly hums and he just takes the time to see you up close like this before you realize and yelp later on because ur flustered

god yoongi’s never cared for anyone this much before

he’s falling in so hard

and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right?

the moment you stop talking and gushing is the moment you realize that yoongi’s been awfully quiet all throughout, making you look down and-

yoongi’s kissing you

for rEAL this time

god he is putty in your hands and he’s extremely mushy

your lips are sO soft that he feels like he could die a happy man

you don’t know if your getting this adrenaline from the rush you got from winning or if it’s just the desire to kiss him for so long that’s fueling you but either way

yoongi feels a little tug on his roots and that instinctively makes him kiss you a little deeper

his kisses taste so gOOD TOO

although you DO need to breathe every once in awhile

:D

yoongi has the biggest gummy smile on his face and his legs feel like giving out because he feels sO HAPPY

you don’t fight the grin on your face either because wow :D that was just wHoosh!!! the suspense built up to it was incomparable oh god the tENSION before

he doesn’t mind losing then :)

“one more? :D”

oh god u are rEALLY whipped for yoongi

and this puts the two of you on ANOTHER level okay

he’s gotten more affectionate and showy almost

jimin’s kinda concerned because sometimes he sees yoongi smiling out of the blue and he’s just…. what is this guy ON…..

jungkook’s so excited and happy for you!!!

he keeps pushing that this wouldn’t have happened if it isn’t for his overpriced stickers

he wants you to tell him EVERYTHING

“yeah?? and tHEN WHAT????”

he is a little jealous however because not all your time is spent on hanging out with him anymore

or how a particular someone would be joining your hangouts from time to time aka yoongi being a third wheel

…. or maybe jungkook’s the third wheel ….

lol impossible :)))))))

[ jeon jungkook continiously tries to deny the truth to himself as always ]

he could be nosy yes bUT he’s always curious

although

“so he’s finally your boyfriend?”

he makes sense most of the times

now that you think about it.,.,.

wait

oh

wAIT YOONGI ISN’T YOUR BOYFRIEND

you aren’t sure either if there’s a label already set?????

because as far as you know, kissing someone doesn’t automatically translate to gREAT UR MY PARTNER IN LIFE NOW

oh no

it’s all good!!!

all good!!!!

you could open this up to yoongi later!!!

oh wait he’s busy

tomorrow then!!!!

uH nope he’s busy

the other day then :))

yoongi keeps getting busy and busy as he explains to the point that you’re in the same floor but you aren’t even seeing each other

he isn’t lying to you, right??

this isn’t about the kiss, right?????

goddamn you jungkook :((

the gears in your head are turning because oh god what if yoongi’s realized that he doesn’t want to commit to you

or that this is as long as a free netflix trial and your time’s up and you need to gO

it also feels oddly sketchy too because yoongi’s only become suddenly busy and almost unreachable ever since the kiss

it is, in fact, about the kiss

god yoongi himself feels that he’s an asshole

he’s suddenly second-guessing his decisions

he’s went down the rabbit hole of thinking that mAYBE you deserve better than him

his name’s kinda big and some rumors follow him too, whether it’s inside or outside the track

yoongi has a track record of ex-girlfriends as what the media wittily dubs it aND HE WON’T DENY IT OK

he does have some ex-girlfriends and his lovelife isn’t talked about within the team because they just treat rumors as rumors and it’s yoongi’s life anyway

but what if news breaks out that you and him are dating

and his track record is brought up once again

aND NOT JUST THAT

because yoongi also feels like he isn’t worthy enough for you :((

he could be bland and too blunt at some points

as opposed to you :(( who’s sometimes too kind and always tries to understand situations and won’t also take shit from anyone

he’s not as spontaneous or charismatic as jungkook

he can’t be as spontaneous as jungkook who’s willing to go to a halloween party with him as mater and you as lightning mcqueen aND PERHAPS IN THE LITERAL COSTUME KIND OR SOMEHOW CLOSE TO IT

he’s not as avid in things that you like as much as jungkook is

he’s just yoongi :((

and he feels like the whole yoongi for y/n thing isn’t enough :((

you haven’t seen yoongi though

and since today’s for the practice sessions, this is the time that you’re sURELy gonna see him!!!

that’s the problem though

because seeing someone doesn’t exactly guarantee that they’re gonna pay attention to you

in other words: you think that yoongi might be avoiding you :((

he wasn’t alone as he normally was and just when you were about to approach him, that’s when he left to go get changed

you have no choice too since he goes straight to the track and that was it!!

you’re sneaking in to reply to jungkook who’s asking for updates because he’s as committed to this scenario as much as you were

this is the last practice session anyway

you just want to get this over with so you could go confront yoongi and fix whatever is this that’s happening :((

it doesn’t help, really

doesn’t help when the practice session is over and what yoongi does the first thing when he finishes is not go back to where the team is

or perhaps just hop over the box like he usually does

he goes to kim dahyun,,

kim dahyun

she’s a heiress?? a socialite?? maybe both???

she’s someone who’s known to be always in the front seat when it comes to events

she’d be placed courtside in basketball games and in tennis tournaments and by the side of the runway when it’s fashion week

no one for sure knows why

but her most recent appearances have been banked in these racing weekends and wherever she goes is where articles follow :((

she’s just something else :((

she’s pretty and she’s rich and she’s kim dahyun 

she’s wearing your team’s novelty shirt and she has it tied up in the front 

dahyun has her hair up in a bun and she has this ribbon that corresponded with your team colors wrapped around it

she has these perfect-looking gel nails!! gel nails!!! you could see the shine all the way from here when she’s flashed at the monitor and is in fact a couple of feet away from you!!

the jewelry too :((

gel nails and jewelry are things you’ve always wanted to try out but could barely wear due to the nature of your job

and although they’re just little things, it kinda drives you crazy because you can’t help but feel like you’re having a burnout with your profession

the fact that yoongi’s going to her for reasons unbeknownst to you is enough to make your stomach drop

even puts his hand at the sMALL of her back and-

oh

even does this lil cheek kiss and she does it back with him and they talk

they talk

min yoongi goes to talk to kim dahyun and greet her like that

when you can’t even get the bare minimum of even a glance from him

“aRE YOU SEEING THIS??”

jungkook texts you and it’s the only momentary relief you get because this way, your eyes aren’t focused on them and your heart briefly stops hurting

“yeah.”

you wanna go back to the hotel

you don’t even wanna look at yoongi

you retreat to the furthest area away and just sit there while all this fuss blows over and how there are even some cheers upon seeing yoongi and dahyun up on the monitor

cool

that’s cool

your cheeks feel wet and you’re just wordlessly setting up and putting back the things that were needed for this session

mingyu, the fellow pit crew member who’s aloft from you and the other ones for most of the times even noticed and he was just ???

“y/n, y’okay?”

you can’t even bring yourself to be in surprise that he spoke to you because you’re too busy being sad 

“dust :)) it’s just dust :))”

but it’s not.,., it’s not even remotely windy.,..,

jungkook crashes to your room later that afternoon and stayed with you until you fell asleep

you’re not exactly cHATTY when you feel your heart breaking and kook’s well-aware

just wordlessly puts on whatever’s trending on netflix and puts it up for background noise :((

orders room service and nudges you until you agree to eat 

even strokes your hair because he could see some tears pricking at the corner of your eyes and jungkook automatically presses you to his chest

damn yoongi ://

yoongi’s kinda missing the texts and the calls you’d usually bombard with him 

but this time his phone’s silent

he knows at the back of his mind that this may be about dahyun awhile ago but at the same time, he doesn’t wanna entertain the thought because it’s harmless,,,, right??

dahyun was a friend before she became his girlfriend and tHEN his ex

and now they’re friends again

that’s not exactly harmful isn’t it

yoongi’s eyes keep going back to check his phone every two minutes just to see if there’s a notification from you

and if he gets one? he won’t ignore it he sWEARS

just atleast give him a text

even a passive-aggressive one that just has a single period on it

and hE knows that all of this is building up because of him :((

he’s not quite ready to admit that to himself though

oh my god is this the end for you and yoongi???

you haven’t even started with proper labels aND you’re already over???

this isn’t exactly the high road you always try to go through

but yoongi’s just beyond confusing and angering at this point and is being really uNFAIR

so if he won’t be open no matter how much you try to coax him at his won pace and decides to be immature about it.,.,,,

well you’re gonna stop adjusting :D

today’s the third to the last race and just like any other, it’s heated

you support yoongi the driver but you’re not in the best terms with yoongi the loVER

not a bad start honestly

yoongi didn’t get pole position but instead the third and he was a more than bummed because usually, when he didn’t get pole-sitter, he’d lean on to you for comfort and you’re gonna soothe him throughout

but no that didn’t happen yesterday

jimin just sighed and patted him on the back and said “just do good tomorrow” and how is tHAT gonna be on par with how you comfort him

he’s through about 3/4 into the race

and gOD it’s going seamless

but some things are just piling up and it’s making him completely confused

hobi’s already passed him and at this stretch, he typically wouldn’t be able to because yoongi knows hoseok’s pattern

yoongi’s only had a pit stop once and that’s the strategy that gets him winning most times

but god something just feels odd

jimin comes at the right times as he speaks through the radio and yoongi couldn’t be any more lost

“yoongi you hAVE to box now”

and box equates to him having anOther pit stop when he usually wouldn’t because this isn’t it!!

this isn’t the strategy!!!!

“jimin iF i box now then that means-”

“yoongi!! listen to me!!! jung’s gonna pass ahead wHETHER you box or not. if you wanna save face and finish this race ranking atleast within top 10, box. right. now.”

fuck

his tires are thinning and normally he could sTILL go through the final stretch without another pit stop but fuck is jimin ordering him with so much ferocity

he has no other choice

and yoongi’s angry

he’s sTILL heated up because these circumstance have never happened before

then he finished 7th in this race

and that’s the lowEST he’s ever placed this season!!!

yoongi can’t exactly control his anger when it comes to situations like these and jimin’s very well-aware

he has faith in yoongi and his driving but tHESE technical reasons are what made him to go through this last-minute strategy

jimin’s crew chief and he stands by his decisions and his strategies

there’s no denying tho that he kNOWS yoongi’s gonna be heated

yoongi marches off the moment he finishes

and he’s looking for someone

anyone

you’re there by jimin’s side

and of cOURSE you were shocked by the sudden strategy and you just can’t help going to him to discuss it

you know too that yoongi’s gonna be mAD but after analyzing the situation with jimin when he explained and when you visualized, jimin did make the right call

before you know it though

yoongi’s already there

“Y/N!!!”

oh

this is the first time that yoongi’s speaking to you and you couldn’t be anymore shocked and confused at the same time

the two of you aren’t exactly alone,.,,

he’s had this sudden recollection of yoongi eating dinner with you in your hotel room and you kept asking him questions about racing and strategies and the philosophical aspect of it

and he delved into his strategies with jimin and retold them to you

you were in so much fondness too because he looks so focused and passionate when he was laying them out to you

“dID YOU TELL ABOUT THE STRATEGIES TO JUNGKOOK?”

what

wHAT????

yoongi isn’t level-headed right now and the story’s immediately flipped in his head of how this must have possibly went

jimin’s eyes are bulging at what’s unfolding, but even more so to the fact that you and yoongi aREN’T alone

and he’s here and the other crew members are here

and they can heAR YOONGI!!! loud and clear!!!

“yoongi wHAT are you talking about???”

“don’t play dumb!! you told them to jungkook, didn’t you???”

for a fact, you didn’t

you didn’t tell jungkook nor aNYONE else

what would you benefit from that??

what would yOONGI benefit from that??

“shut up!! you tOld about the strategies to jungkook and he told it to hoseok and nOW look at what happened!!! all of this, all of what i did, is gonna fall through just because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut!!”

jimin’s heart is dropping at this and he can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now

he knows to his heart that you wouldn’t do such a thing

or that all of this has to do with his decision and a series of coincidences that piled up for yoongi to mindlessly think that you’re the reason for what he’s pushing to be a leak

“yoongi, i would never-”

“dON’T TALK TO ME!!”

he’s burning

actually burning

so much so that he’s walking towards you and looking down on you

“you’re fired.”

wait

what the actual fuck

“yOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

“i can.”

jimin’s about to step in as he’s standing behind you and he’s already gripping at your arm

he needs to say something

and you know your standing with jimin isn’t the best but you’re just thinking about him

you know how he’s due for a promotion and a raise

and you know yoongi’s above and beyond gonna ruin his career if jimin dared to speak and atleast attempt to defend you and pin the blame on himself

“and i’m gonna get my father involved if i have to.”

that’s it

that’s the end of your career

you didn’t wait to get fired

knowing yoongi, he means what he says and so you didn’t waste a single second in packing up your bags and rounding up your documents

you already knew enough that yoongi’s dad have connections with the association and a single phone call could flip things over

so whether yoongi’s already made the call to his dad or not, you’re gonna leave either way

you’re making calls to your manager, the same one who came to your college and recruited you and jungkook, and had to explain as much as you can while pulling at all stops

said managers was saddened at the call and then she had to make that call to the ones in the upper positions so could aLSO explain as much as she can

honestly you don’t know either what’s gonna come out of this

either your name would be defamed wrongly, or nO one’s gonna notice at all and your sudden disappearance would have 99 versions and not one confirmed

they think it’s best to respect your decision of letting go and even if you’ve signed a contract, this “firing” is as good as official

also they think it’s best to relay the statement of you making an “indefinite leave” due to a “family emergency of grave importance” which translates to no this isn’t an indefinite leave but instead you’re leaving for good

it’s both a blessing and a curse that this happened far into the season

a blessing since there’s only two races left after this and that means less adjustments with the team dynamic and the news of your departure won’t be as focused on because yeah last two races

a curse since these last two races are critical and yoongi just couldn’t wait until the last one to blame you and then fire you

no worries though

there are always replacements

aka which just points that you’re despensable and it’s nOT helping your self-esteem

backups are there in case the event a pit crew member gets injured (or worse, incapacitated; and they’re familiar with the work and the dynamic so it would be just a seamless fit

and all of that got arranged in less than two hours :)) there was even a flight you managed to book within that time

you didn’t even get to say goodbye to jungkook :((

he had to know all of it by a short n simple goodbye and see you soon text you sent before boarding and by asking jimin what happened

he was cOMPLETELY bawling his eyes out because his best friend left him :(( and he counts on you so much and you help him stay sANE

he’s beyond angry at yoongi and didn’t even bother to bat an eye when he walked past him

jimin feels so guilty and sad

he was a shitty crew chief to you for the most part and after all that, you still went through this considering hIM and his job and his dIGNITY even if it means you lose all three things and you already did

jimin cried when jungkook’s lip started trembling and he lost it completey by then

yoongi’s lost and empty and oblivious to all of this

he figures that it’s better to let some hours pass so he could cool down and reflect

that’s his second mistake however

yoongi’s complacent

and three hours have passed and he knows that at this time you’re still awake so he walked over to your room and just rang the bell

oh

he’s rung it three times now and uSUALLY you wouldn’t even let it pass two when it’s yoongi by the door

that’s weird

yoongi’s about to pull out his phone to call you to open the door but before

he could even press at your name, the door already opens

… it’s a middle-aged man …

“yOU’RE NOT Y/N”

…

…

“wrong door, kid.”

but that’s your room

yoongi knows you’ve left the circuit earlier than everyone because of what happened

that much he knows

but not this

yoongi dials jungkook instead because for sure he’d know where you are but then another door opens and that’s jUNGKOOK!!! leaving jimin’s room that’s a couple of doors from your room

“yA. do-…”

jungkook literally just walks past him and into the elevator

what

what is going ON

then yoongi’s jogging to jimin’s door that’s closing then he manages to wedge into his foot before it closes

“where’s Y/N?”

little did yoongi know that the answer would make him regret even asking you don’t have the slightest clue on how could possibly bounce back from this

maybe take a break; a week perhaps

get a job that’s for sURE

ignore yoongi’s texts and calls

reply to jungkook whenever he contacts you as much as he could in free time that he gets

assure jimin that you’re okay and he has nothing to apologize for

be eternally grateful for your friends that have your back no matter what and help you stay afloat and even giving you a job

bless the kim line

jin, namjoon, and taehyung were your ultimate friends in college besides jungkook

they are the most awesome and sWEETEST friend group you’ve ever had in your life

you didn’t get to hang out with them as frequently like you did with jungkook since the three of them were in the business course and you and kook on the student athlete side

but that didn’t change the fact that you give are inseperable and wHOLESOME

you and jungkook ended up being crew members for a famous and multi-million team in formula racing but you’ve retired wAY too early lmao

the three of them

well

not to brag

but they’re the proud owners and the brawns and the brains of kim kradle

KIM KRADLE!!

it’s a one-stop shop for everything that automobiles could possibly need

but why kim kradle do you ask???

well first of all,,, jin, namjoon, and taehyun have the same family name which is Kim so write that down

kradle? aha well :D

so for babies, there’s cradles, right??

they serve kinda like havens, right??

wHERE was ultron from avengers: age of ultron made??? the cradle. although their shop’s vision and mission are wAY WAY different from ultron’s

and like why name it kim cradle

when you can name it kIM KRADLE

they’ve had calls when they were starting out asking if they were selling baby cradles and the answer is N-O

it’s now a huge successful shop that’s like an open warehouse type!!

basically, the kim kradle is divided into three major operations

general services to intensive repair of parts and basically what goes on internally!! jin is in charge and heads that sector!!

he could see your car for two seconds and go “hey man, did you ever ace your karate lessons? lmao you have a broken fan belt not a black belt”

carwashes and waxing and all that good stuff!! namjoon is a beast at thus and your car could be like from 1997 and he’d clean it so good that it would look like it’s from 2030

customization!! from leather seats to metallic foils to coating!! taehyung has an instagram dedicated to his finished works and ongoing ones and like wHAT?? he has half a million followers?? no big deal

kim kradle is on the massive side and is therefore separated to three floors

namjoon and his carwashes are at the basement in which you’d still get sunlight in because there are inclined pathways on the side that lead out to an outdoor waiting area

jin is on the 2nd floor and basically in the same ground level where the civilization is because his section’s more critical and it’s the obvious option

taehyung gets the 3rd floor, and one part’s covered and the other is like a car balcony so when he finishes?? you could see that sunlight hitting the custom coat he did on your car

either kim kradle is so good, the placement and marketing are perfect, or the owners are just sO attractive and unparalled as to why so many people avail their services and most go through all three levels

maybe the formula is all three of those variables

you came home without knowing a sINGLE thing and being alone in your apartment is appreciated but it gets eerie and so isolating

and you called namjoon late into the night because he always knows what to say and you ended up having more than what you hoped for

you just wanted to have some comfort and ease because also,, namjoon’s voice is really soothing and u miss hearing it

not oNLY did you get some peace of mind

you also got a job without even actively looking for it at the moment and you couldn’t be anymore fulfilled

namjoon said that you could come in at kim kradle anytime at your own pace and they’d still welcome you with open arms

also said that jin and tae miss you sO much and it’s a good thing that namjoon is the one you called because if it’s either from the other two, you wouldn’t be able to sleep and perhaps you’d get visitors to your apartment at 2 in the morning

and this is it!!!

for once, you don’t want to confront a problem to the core

you’re just gonna distract yourself and make your way around it aha :D

two days later??? you’re working in kim kradle now!!!

and you know what??

you eVEN get the overalls

the only three people in kim kradle that wear overalls are jin, namjoon, and taehyung themselves

and it’s to kinda highlight the fact that they’re the owners and the heads of their sections

the rest wear boiler-style like suits 

all their uniforms are cute

like sERIOUSLY

jin is in charge of the color and there are actually multiple ones!! a pale pink to a nice lavender and a dark navy blue!! the first two are kinda impractical because it’s impossible to not get dirty in this job but they ARE adorable and stylish though

namjoon pushed for this uniform and so he really searched and handpicked fabrics that won’t be tOO hot and in which u could actively move in them

but sometimes there are tasks in which involve the straps for the overalls sliding down so tHE next big thing????

namjoon sewing but actually it became tAEHYUNG’S job because he’s gonna poke himself with the needle multiple times before even getting to put a thread in

made a lil hook by the custom shirts down to where it draped by the shoulders and it could hook the straps so like wHATEVER the four of you do, the overalls won’t slip :D

innovation amirite :D

and then it was taehyung’s job to have kim embroidered in really cute cursive by the back and the initials of their first name in a lil formal font below it

and the first names are embroidered in the front!!! 

tae was the one who wrapped the overalls into a large box and you genuinely didn’t expect that you’d be even given one

and it’s just that you’ve been so much on eDGE lately and every little thing turns you emotional these days ever since that incident with yoongi

“is she,,, she’s,,, is y/n sobbing??”

taehyung sputters because oh my god did his gift wrapping throw you off?? jeez he kinda knew at the back of his head that the bright neon green with some balloons saying “happy birthday” even if it’s nOT your birthday looks REPULSIVE and he didn’t have any other gift wrapper left but he didn’t know that it would be too repulsive to make you cry :((

“did we do something??”

jin looks worried because oh god maybe it was the joke he did awhile ago about you suddenly working here now

although namjoon eased their worries and oH you’re hugging the three of them!!!

“i-it’s just that-...”

you were only supposed to thank them for the overalls and the opportunity bUT it took some turns and it ended up with you telling them the story and namjoon having to fill in some gaps when you get too pouty and too sad to explain

tHEY GET IT NOW

anyways

it’s very easy to be thrown in the spur of things at the moment because you’re just grasping at every opportunity to distract yourself!! :D coping mechanisms!!!!

you’re with jin in his section because that’s your work!! that is your work before you got fired and you just got to continue it

but this time with all the time in the world

not really but an hour is a lifetime for you and you’re just used to repairing things in mere seconds

in mere seconds and you have to train for it like almost every second of the day sO this is a nice change :D

“a wrench?? i’m gonna replace the tires using a wrench??”

jin laughs at that because you’re holding it in disgust as you stare down the car that just got brought in

they don’t have a flat tire or anything!! they just wanna get new tires that are as exaggerated as their very-embellished and exaggerated jeep with their specs :D

“they don’t teach you that in racing school????”

://

you know how to replace tires with a wrench and a jack of course

but it’s just hitting you now that oh god this is very alike and different at the same time with your past job!!!

“you dON’T have pneumatic guns?? yeah sure they mAY be expensive but like work would be done quicker and you’d go through more customers?? oH my god jin??? you know what, i’m gonna call jimin right now. let me get you some things!!!”

well then,,,

actually,,,

jin mAY have a pneumatic gun lying around but they don’t use it because a) it’s not as fast and as efficient as what yOU use in the track b) what for honestly,,, c) this is not formula racing and most people aren’t in a rush

but you know what

this is going good for you!!!

jin’s learning new things from u and the other way around and you’re not wallowing in sadness tHAT much anymore :D

and you do feel that kim kradle is doing so much good on you!! you’re constantly with jin but sometimes you spice it up an transfer from floor to floor :))

pressure-washing with namjoon is very therapeutic and having excessive knowledge now about how to properly give your car the shiniest wax ever in your lifetime??

it’s excessive knowledge you wouldn’t trade for the world

you even go work with taehyung sometimes!!! you help him plan out color schemes and pick out fabric with him and go measure dimensions and eVEN do 3D mock-ups

watching and aLSO being able to mix custom coats to go on cars is very satisfying ok

tae even gives you the password to the instagram account :))

he gets you to do the close-ups sometimes and eVEN tells you a thing or two on how he edits these clips to be as satsfying and pleasing as possible

today’s just a slow day

only three cars have come to the shop and to your floor in the past hour nothing from the three of them needed that much TLC

two of them just needed to get their tires’ air pressure checked and have them pumped to match

the other one was just towed here because it’s the nearest shop and just has a dead battery :((

you don’t know how you and jin could pass the time because there isn’t any tv in the area since sOMEONE (jin himself) got distracted too much by watching sherlock and he jUST wanted to know how sherlock pulled off operation lazarus!!!!

it clearly wasn’t his intention to keep pumping up the jack and almost have the whOLE car tip over because he had it up all the way

that was an accident :))

he didn’t even notice that so many of his boys were dashing for the side of the car to keep it from falling and when one of them called out his name, jin had the aUDACITY to shush him because there goes the climax!!!

wOOpS aha oh no what happened to the car :D

the next big thing that jin could do? ask you and catch up about all the technical stuff in formula racing so he could learn too ya know

“what happens if a wing gets dented or like dEFORMED?? how would that be fixed that quickly??”

“ooh!! good question!! actually-...”

that sound

you miss that sound :((

someone’s driving in your floor by the sounds of it and you don’t even need to turn your head to know that it must be a rEALLY cool car :((

it reminds you of the sounds you hear on the track and it’s one that you dearly miss

the growl of whatever car this is loud but like nOT obnoxious of pricks that just wanna show off in traffic and rev up their engine, y’know??

jin could only be so happy because fINALLY

another customer and another task to do to pass this day and it’s nOT a prius!!!!!!!

fucking finally

jin stands up immediately and you immediately follow him and this car’s getting attention from the other workers at the floor because whew

they all know to back off and go back to working on previous and existing projects because aH they see jin smiling giddily and almost jogging and you’re in tow from excitement

it’s a nice car!!!

a maserati granturismo in sleek black!!! jin’s only saw one of these come in the shop driveway but only for them to pULL out and it’s just because they needed to maneuver to go back to a u-turn

what a prick ://

he was excited that day and for wHAT??? someone to use their driveway just so they could reverse their car???? that’s just rude

the owner in mystery comes out and is aLREADY TALKING and- wait

isn’t that yoongi?

yOONGI?????

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

that’s

oh my god that’s yOU

the season’s wrapped up like a week ago and the last races were tough so tough than he could’ve ever imagined and it was even harder without you

yoongi won the season

but he lost you though :((

he was so enraged at himself the moment jimin told him about the verdict you took and how you quit before he could fire you — for good yoongi has no one to blame but himself and god he’s just so mad at himself

even up to now actually

his pride was so enormous that he didn’t even tHINK that he might be the problem as to why he placed 7th in that race

and instead, he just needed someone, anyone, for him to blame and you’re the fIRST person he sees and he immediately takes his anger and frustration out on you

you would never do such things and he’s disgusted at himself for even tHINKING that you’d ever betray him like that

he was regretting every bit of his words and actions that he said and did out of blind spite

if he could punch himself he would GLADLY do that and knock himself out yoongi was both panicked and livid

had a hard time breathing too because oh gOd he just can’t stop thinking about you and the things he’s caused that are too late to bring back and reverse :((

he kept pleading to atleast follow you home even for just some hours and he’ll immediately go back to the hotel as if he never left

but he can’t do that and he hATES it

god this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t a big fucking aSSHOLE!!! throughout the whole week ever since you left the team, he was a gigantic mess

like he still is now

but he had dark circles under his eyes that were swollen from crying so much

his lips were set in a frown as a default

yoongi was doing well with the streak of not biting and picking at his fingernails and his cuticles but now tHAT’S broken alright

he’s tried reaching out to jungkook multiple times

he’s tried apologizing but he always gets a deadpanned response of how he isn’t the one he needs to apologize to

kook sees the sincerity of yoongi trying to apologize because he’s hurt you, his best friend, but that’s not the important issue here

you called jungkook unknowingly in the middle of his and yoongi’s conversation and the boy just almost jUMPS at jungkook to try and borrow his phone with his pleads and as much as his heart goes out (he still hATES yoongi ok), jungkook’s not gonna let him

he tries getting jimin to let him borrow his phone and call you and jimin won’t let him either because this is not his place and you’ve been through enough

the closest yoongi’s ever got to you??

jimin still feels so sorry and guilty to this day

and he’s conflicted and confused and a lil sad

but jimin did call you in front of yoongi on speaker :(((

and yoongi got to hear you answer with a chipped-out voice :(((

and he’s just so tempted to speak out loud but if he does that, then jimin will forever be mad at him too probably and he’s also promised that he’s gonna pretend he isn’t there

ask her if she already ate dinner

yoongi won’t stop typing in his notes tho and wave it frantically for jimin to ask you

and you’re responding truthfully because what’s jimin gonna do?? fLY to your home and cook you spaghetti?????

of course not

that’s what yoongi wants to do :(( if only he can :((

his win felt so empty and it just feels so dull without you here

also knowing that he’s drived out one of the only people that puts up with him and is always patient and is the reason to why he’s been so inspired lately

and one of these days

just one of these days, yoongi wants to drive to your apartment and camp out the door if he needs to just so he could redeem himself and earn forgiveness and try to mend what he’s broken

not today though

not today when the moment yoongi finally gathered the words and the courage to go to you, with the blessing of jungkook giving him his address but with a very sTRICT warning that scared the shit out of him.,.,.,

but also with his airconditioning broken and something just tells him that he needs to take it to a shop because it’s been awhile ever since he drove normal cars

and yoongi actually forgot the gravity of all this so he’s a bit nervous because maybe this is a more serious case with his car and it’s just the universe’s way of telling him to go to you tomorrow

or as soon as his car gets taken to the shop

maybe he needs to polish up some lines and try practicing them better from the heart

yoongi could go to jimin and have it fix it for him but like that’s tOO far of a drive and he just needs a quick fix

ooh

kim kradle!!! it’s the nearest shop to his place that has five stars on it

and he’s still a bit wary because his face and his name and win did land on the news and he’s been trending lately and like wHAT IF someone takes advantage of his car or scams him because they know who he is this car is his frequent and it holds a sentimental value to his heart ok

kim kradle is bigger than he’s pictured it in his mind

woah it actually looks cool and promising

christ it’s so hot inside his car god he needed to open up a little bit of his window but mosquitoes would creep in and tHEY’RE annoying and a real hazard to kill while you’re driving down the road

he wants to get this over with quickly

yoongi just needs to drive to your place and see you asap

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

oh

that’s you

wAIT THAT IS YOU

“y/n?”

his hands are literally shaking right now oh my god

it’s been some twenty-seven days ever since he’s last saw you and here you aRE

here you are in a place he’s least expected to see you because he’s on the way to see you but actually yOU’RE HERE

“yoongi.”

you acknowledge him back and god you don’t know what to feel

jin immediately senses what’s happening and deep-down he is pANICKING alright

he’s been in contact with jungkook and in the back of their minds, they knew that yoongi won’t let this go without his ever-present persistence

and eventually like maybe yoongi’s gonna know that you work here and the last time that he checked, yoongi doesn’t even know kim kradle

bUT JIN DIDN’T KNOW THAT THIS TIME WOULD COME THIS SOON OK

he immediately steps in and insert himself in between you and yoongi that he’s trying to close the distance to you and that surprises yoongi completely

“airconditioning, right? keys please. i’ll check it out!!”

yoongi wastes no time in shoving the keys to jin’s hand and he couldn’t be anymore desperate to talk to you

he doesn’t wanna cross boundaries obviously even if jin’s already moved out of the way

you’re still glued to your spot trying to process the situation and your fight or flight response is not exactly working right now

is there a disbelief and yearning and standing in sadness and anger option in that fight or flight choice

“i haven’t seen you in so long.”

that’s what usually happens when you become an asshole yOONGI

god how are you supposed to react

“you too.”

there’s this awkward distance in between the two of you and it’s too deep to even get between 

yoongi suddenly forgets the words that’s been in his mind for the longest time,, just brewing and evolving and always changing as he just wants to fix the damage he’s done :((

he’s about to get closer but

“the cooling fan’s just clogged. it could be finished within like fifteen minutes man :D”

jin doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing but he ‘s dOING whatever this is ok

although that is factual

the cooling fan is just a bit dirty and there’s some debris in there that could be cleared quickly

but he just needs to do it extra carefully because this is a nice car ok

i mean he sTILL cares for cars in the same way even if not every car he gets in the shop is a maserati granturismo 

he’s just a lil bit nervous even thOUGH he’s an expert at this ok

“fIFTEEN MINUTES???”

yoongi’s freaking out and he’s gripping at his hair in panic because wHAT

THAT SHOULD TAKE AN HOUR

goddamn why does kim kradle have to be a five-star shop :((

“y-yeah.,, i can do it in ten if you’re in a hurry-”

“aha nO NO :D i’m not in a hurry at all!!! please, take your time!!”

oh god what does he do now

yoongi walks over to his car and that confuses both you and jin

because what

he has half of his body in the driver’s seat and it sEEMS that he’s fishing for something in his glovebox

it’s a lil swiss knife

bUT WHY

he kept it in the gloveboxes of his cars because seatbelts are not exactly fool-proof and you could be stuck in them and he’s scared of that

and also if he’s gotten a takeout of a burger and it’s too big and he’s driving with one hand so he’ll just whip out his lil swiss knife and cut haphazardly

“what’s your name, man??”

“jin!! kim seokjin :D you’re-”

wait

what the fuck is yoongi doing

oh 

did he just-

“also forgot to tell you!!! my tires are running flat and i tHINK they need to be changed!! so sorry man it just came up”

deadass

yoongi literally just slashed his four tires

jin’s sPUTTERING

and he’s looking back and forth to you and to yoongi and his car

“are you -- are you sEEING -- y/n tell me wait what the fuck iS YOONGI SLASHING HIS TIRES????”

whatever it takes

whatever to buy his time with you and so as much as he can

you’re quite taken aback because oh did yoongi just do that

jin has only known yoongi personally for like eight minutes and he could positively say that he is on aNOTHER level

yoongi’s approaching you again and it only hits you nOW

“have you eaten lunch already?”

your mouth is dry and you absolutely can’t look at yoongi because it just feels so unreal 

“no. hEy uh-...”

“no?? oh my gOD hold on just stay still, yeah? i’m gonna get lunch hOld on-”

yoongi’s immediately scarmbling for the exit

he has no concrete plan but he sure is hellbent in getting you lunch even though his car’s tires are slashed and he’s gonna be walking in an area he’s unfamiliar with

you really haven’t eaten lunch 

you were just about to say a half-assed reason of namjoon calling you just to exit this situation because you are nOT ready and yoongi’s already off before you could mutter it

jin’s gears are just on a frenzy

“oh so that’s min yoongi.,.,,. jusT slashed his own tires,.,,. that’s.... endearing.,.,,”

you’ve detached yourself from the situation and you couldn’t really stand seeing nor interacting with yoongi

you’ve cooped up yourself in jin’s office and the moment yoongi came back holding up take-out for boTH you and jin, his car’s already all-done

jin gives him a look that’s telling and yoongi gets it

“oh. that’s okay. just uh, just leave this for y/n, can you? there’s enough for the two of you. thanks, jin :))”

you need a moment

that one’s obvious

taehyung insisted that you come home early and you obliged because oh god you nEED a moment

you come into work the next day and sure enough, you’re all well-rested and this time they could ask about what happened yesterday

even hear jin’s point of view on how yoongi is just so wILD

taehyung is in alert and so in namjoon

they’re all ears ok

jin’s telling his story and tae’s nudging you discreetly and makes you look at a box!!!

a box he’s ordered online a couple days ago after he saw you breakdown and you’re looking in awe as you whisper because u don’t wanna disrupt jin

“gel nails???”

the same one you always wanted and it’s flashing back to when you saw yoongi talking to dahyun!!!

oh this is really happening???

“dO IT YOURSELF!!!”

taehyung’s grabbing your hand immediately as he opens the box and he’s sO pumped for this because he stayed up all night watching how to do gel nails yourself!!

he even bought a nice uv lamp for it!! he’s tHAT dedicated

this takes your mind off of yoongi for awhile

a car pulls up yet again and you’re getting the chills again bUt it just turned out to be jungkook

aND HOBI!!!

hobi finished second this season!!

they immediately flock to the lot of you and you’re not sure on who flocks who because everyone’s just genuinely happy to see each other

even the kim line meeting hobi for the first time is such a fun experience

jungkook immediately goes to you and he sEES taehyung doing something to your hand

he’s not sure what he’s doing

but he knows that he wants IN okay

he wants to these gel nails on your other hand

he doesn’t know shit on how to do them but he’s gonna learn along the way aND he is not backing down 

taehyung wasn’t aware that this is a competition now but apparently iT IS NOW :O

it’s not ensured that your two hands will look the exact same because you think they’re going for the what looks better competition and not let’S DO THIS IDENTICALLY because these are y/n’s hands y’know 

you’re about to fall asleep with how this is lowkey soothing

this is not the quickest manicure to do on anybody

especially if it’s someone’s first time and they’re really aIMING for it to be perfect

although it’s not easy because another car pulls up and you’re pANICKED that it might be yoongi 

oh nah it’s okay that’s not his car anyway!!!

you sometimes forget.... that yoongi’s a race car driver....

and there’s a possibility.... that he has multiple cars....

that’s yoongi alright

he steps down in a hurry and makes a beeline for you because he could immediately spot you!!! even in crowds!!!

you’re somehow ensured that yoongi’s gonna decide against going to you because you’re not alone

taehyung’s on your left and jungkook’s on your right and they’re not leaving your side until they finish their masterpieces for like another half hour

oH HE’S GOING FOR IT

“y/n, hI!!”

coming in strong but that’s ok

“jungkook :]”

he acknowledges kook and you’re not exactly up-to-date with how these two stand with each other 

but kook kinda just gives him a confused glance (jIN CALLED HIM LAST NIGHT) and nods back to yoongi

what

taehyung has his lips parted because what,,, why.,., 

yoongi’s about to open his mouth to talk to this guy that’s holding your hAND???

oh this is the part right

“i’m,,, kim taehyung.,.,.,”

“min yoongi. nice to meet you :))”

he sticks out his hand and tae blindly reaches for it and he doesn’t know wHY he shook it and he’s still confused up to to now

what is yoongi doing

wHAT IS HE DOING

you only realize now that yoongi has something in his hands and he’s looking dead straight to you and he doesn’t falter once

(he’s nervous on the inside trUST HIM)

“i know you’re not that comfy in seeing me and that’s tOTALLY okay!! i respect that!! it’s just uH i realized that uhm,.,., do you remember that time we were karting? and you won and we ki -- when you wON?? and you said that the winner gets one week of presents,,.,, and i just want to fulfill that.”

yoongi’s voice is wavering because oh shit this iS hard to swallow down

“even if i might be a little late.”

he wordlessly sets down a wrapped present by your feet, just in the middle of a sitting jungkook and taehyung who are listening all this time and have curious eyes on the neatly-wrapped present that’s been laid down

he leaves and stalks over to jin

“what happened now yoongi.,.,.,”

“my guess is that there are some rocks stuck in the wheel bearings. maybe even in the mags. four on the left, three on the right.”

....

hmmmm

“that’s nice, man. just a hunch??”

“yup :)) just a hunch :)) aLSO: can i have a stool?? i’m just gonna wait here, y’know :))”

yoongi’s not expecting anything from you

he doesn’t mind rejection or you ignoring him all throughout because he knows that he deserves it

he deserves it for sure

sometimes he sees you in the corner of his eye

or you helping out jin on fixing yoongi’s other car

or the other one

your own pace

your pace is what matters and yoongi isn’t gonna take any shortcut or undercut

this isn’t formula racing

this is yOU and him being patient until you feel like acknowledging him

of course he still apologizes

texts you even if you’re across the room

sees you open the text and you’d send him a look and you’d be giving him the slightest smile before you occupy yourself again

yoongi’s okay with that.

he keeps coming back

this is the third car and it’s nOT EVEN HIS ANYMORE

he’s just texting friends asking “yO do u need you car washed or fixed or something??? i’ll take it to the shop for you fREE OF CHARGE!!!”

he’s that invested in this and he doesn’t see himself giving up this is good for kim kradle of course but oh god this is aMUSING TOO throughout the week, yoongi hasn’t faltered either in continuing at giving you the gifts

the first one he’s given you?? a box full of trinkets he’s been collecting for every country that he’s visited ever since you gave him that caffeine pill!!

just random things he’s seen in malls or souvenir shops or airport boutiques that reminded him of you, all in a box with a single note

i miss you. - yoongi

you’re not gonna lie

you do miss yoongi too

but the things he’s done still make you wince when you’re thinking about it and even though he’s apologized in all ways but a face-to-face one

because you’re not that lax with him, the both of you know that this isn’t just a one and done thing

things take time and yoongi’s taking it at your pace and you’re grateful for it

warming up is always relative and so is forgiveness longing’s still there but it’s just a matter of suppressing it and yeah you dO miss yoongi

you’re lost without him too although you’re not gonna make that anymore obvious because that’s just devastating to think about you think he’s about to reach the end of his rope and it throws you in the whirlwind of oH

this is the sixth consecutive day that yoongi’s been coming to kim kradle yesterday was the first bIG interaction you’ve ever done with him

because since you don’t talk to him as much, he just takes his time as he waits for the services for the cars that he brings by making conversation with the guys

he’s gotten to know jin and joon and tae aND YEAH they like him but they do grill him separately though because they’re mad at what he’s done to you

but he’s also apologized to them and made promises that he’s gonna be keeping

jin doesn’t cook by the kitchen anymore because yoongi keeps bringing takeout or sometimes hE’S THE ONE WHO COOKS in his home and brings it to u guys

is it bad that he all bought you lunchboxes

is it bad that your lunchbox is the fanciest out of all of them and you have more portions and yours are always cut up like he did with the pork.,.,..

it’s not bad as lonG as you pretend to unsee the three kims stealing food from you and just go about to eating your food

but the big interaction did happen yesterday

and it was you suddenly calling out yoongi’s name as he’s sat by the car but he sTILL heard you and he swears he’s gonna cry

because oh god it’s been a long time ever since you said his name in that tone

“you’re not gonna eat with us?”

OH DAMN

he’s a mess

“uhm weLL do you want me too?? it’s oKAY uhm pls just-“

“don’t make me regret asking, yoongs.”

yOONGS

Y O O N G S

yoongi is instantly walking his ass to the little makeshift dining circle because oh my god YES

he doesn’t overstep tho and he just sits in between namjoon and

taehyung as he eats and every few minutes he sneaks a look at you and sometimes you look at him aND IT’S JUST LIKE the start all over again there’s the last piece of tteokbokki and everyone’s just feeling it out and looking at it

and yoongi

the bold man that he is

picks it up with his chopsticks aND

oh he’s putting it on your lunchbox

:))))))))

the night’s late and taehyung called yoongi to say that the car (it’s actually yoongi’s) he’s brought in for a ceramic coating and custom leather seats are all finished and wrapped up

and if he wants, he could go to the shop right now and pick it up since namjoon’s finishing up by the basement anyways and it would still be open then

and he does pick it up

he knows his way around the store

you could either take the stairs or the lift if you’re coming in into kim kradle without a car to go up and down the levels but he’s patient so he’ll just take the stairs

what he wasn’t expecting though

something that makes him cease his whistling as he goes up to the third floor to fetch his car

is you

rIGHT there

besides his car

and this is the only time that the both of you are alone and his throat is suddenly dry

you know this too though

you were intending to staying up late here just to finish on the car that’s been brought in two days ago with the broken engine that you think is worth salvaging

and you just wanted to see the view :((

reminisce to how you’ve been seeing yoongi in the flesh for six days straight and how you wanna tackle this conflict right to the head but you’re unsure to how :((

it doesn’t take a genius to know that yOONGI himself is right behind you

as you are aware too that this is his car that taehyung’s been working on thank u very much

“i want you to know that i’m not giving up on you.”

his words cut through the cold air and it surely gets your attention even if your back is still turned to him as you’re hunched over the balcony

“i’m running out of cars to bring, the one week of presents is ending, and

i’m so cLOSE to putting up a cot so i could sleep here.”

he’s serious about that one

seeing you just makes everything better no matter the circumstance it calms his heart and everything in him and he’s not gonna stop at nO matter what to try and make up for the things he’s done

“but you’re worth all this.”

yoongi dares to take a step closer and this time you could already see him by your peripheral vision

“you’re worth it,” and he needs a collective second to exhale the heaviness that’s sitting on his chest because oh gOd he was really an asshole huh

“i don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but i’m willing to wait.”

this is more nerve-wracking than any report card or championship results he’s been ever given and he’s not ashamed to admit that

“i love you, y’know?”

that’s the thing he’s been wanting to say for a long time he doesn’t know in the first place on wHY the hell was he scared because now that he says it to you, he feels like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life :(((

“good night, y/n.”

and the main purpose to why he’s here completely escapes his mind

he just misses you sO much that it’s so painful and all he could do is imagine scenarios and look back at all the pictures he’s taken of you half of it he’s sure that you never even noticed him taking

aND IT HITS YOU

something that hits you with the way that his car keys have the sticker of your initials on them

or the way when taehyung asked you out to help him with the leather interior for yoongi’s car and your scrunchie that you must’ve left is wrapped snugly on his handbrake

or how in the final checking for his car did you know that your playlist that you don’t even rEMEMBER mentioning to him is the one that’s on repeat in his radio

yoongi stops the moment that you call out for his name and god he’s closing his eyes because all the worst possible scenarios of you calling for him to stop this is enough to make him cry

you’ve also never been more sure of anything in your life

your hand just barely grips yoongi’s arm, staring up at him as you get to notice the features of his that you’ve always loved and missed all this time

yoongi’s hand’s open and so is your heart for all this

it’s the same keys that he’s went here for the first place, the ones with your intials on as he only realizes now that he’s done that

“drive me home.”

#feedback pls and thank u tHEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME :D #yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi imagine #yoongi imagines #min yoongi imagine #min yoongi imagines #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #min yoongi angst #min yoongi fluff #yoongi oneshot #yoongi oneshots #yoongi fics #yoongi fic recs #bts yoongi imagine #homebound #yoongi headcanon #yoongi headcanons

[simplybakugou]

Forever with You

↝ It all started with his love for meat buns… now Kirishima reminisced on the time you first met to help him find the courage to propose to you.

BINGO SPACE: Engaged

⋆ PAIRING: prohero!kirishima x fem!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; FLUFF (just a lot of cuteness :)) ⋆ WORD COUNT: 3021

A/N: here’s another bingo piece for the @bnhabookclub​ event! it was my first time writing for kirishima so please let me know what you think! thank you to @sugacookiies​ for requesting kiri for this prompt (love you xin!) credit to @eraserhead-transparents​ for kiri cap!

FULL BINGO MASTERLIST

✐posted 08.02.2020✐

“At least give me a hint?” You asked, peering up at Kirishima with hope laced in your eyes.

Kirishima shook his head as you both continued walking down the path. “Nope, no can do. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

You crossed your arms begrudgingly over your chest. “It’s not fair. What if you’re leading me to my death?”

Kirishima chuckled, putting his arm around your shoulders. “Come on! You know I’d never let anyone hurt you!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re Red Riot for a reason,” you said, wrapping your own arm around his waist as you leaned into him. That morning you woke up and got ready like you did every other morning only for your boyfriend disrupted your plans as he entered your apartment unannounced and whisked you away, claiming he had somewhere he wanted to take you. No matter the amount of questions you had for him, you followed him anyways and here you were, still walking down the street as he led you to wherever this mystery destination was.

“Alright, we’re here!” Kirishima exclaimed.

You rose a brow in confusion, dazily blinking at the sight before you. “What’s this?”

“What do you mean? It’s a park!” Kirishima said, stating the obvious. He walked over past the front gate of the park, sitting down on one of the wooden benches. He patted the space beside him and you sat down, still bewildered about why he had taken you there in the first place.

“Eiji, I’m still so confused,” you said after a few minutes as he just sat and watched the families playing in the area along with those who were working out and doing other physical activities.

“Do you know what this place used to be?” Kirishima asked, still looking off into the distance as he watched with a smile at the numerous kids running around and playing amongst each other.

You shrugged. The park was in Musutafu where you and Kirishima spent a good amount of your adolescence in back in your respective high schools. As time progressed you both strayed away from the city, pursuing your career and Kirishima becoming a pro hero. But since you and Kirishima were dating, you eventually moved back to Musutafu with him although you lived separate from one another for the time being.

“How could you not recognize this place? This is where your cafe used to be!” Kirishima said.

“Really? That was here?” You asked in astonishment. “It’s been so long since that place closed down I forgot where it was. And this whole place looks completely different.”

“Yeah, I passed by here a few days ago and that was when I realized.” Kirishima looked down with a smile on his face. “That cafe meant a lot to me… it’s where we first met.”

You grinned along with him. “Even though I hated that place sometimes at least that shithole gave me you.”

Kirishima laughed at your words, his nerves calming slightly thanks to you. He felt beads of sweat forming at the back of his neck and his forehead, taking his mind off the crucial task he wanted to fulfill in a matter of minutes as he listened to the sound your voice as your reminisced on the time you met the love of your life.

***

Back when Kirishima was in U.A., he would find himself stopping by a cafe which was on the way to his school that sold the best meat buns. In his first year he would go almost every afternoon after school just for one meat bun but sometime in his second year, he saw an unfamiliar face behind the counter. It was a girl who seemed to be around his age. She seemed laidback, conversing with customers when needed but overall was detached. Above all else, she was absolutely beautiful to the point where Kirishima nearly choked on his own breath at the sight of her.

Quite evidently that girl was you, a teenager who was helping her father run his cafe after school. Although you didn’t want to be there on most days, some customers made your experience worthwhile. 

And then there were some that made you feel absolutely enraged.

“Give me your number, I won’t hurt ya,” the sleazy man said as he continued to attempt to flirt with the young girl who was quite obviously uncomfortable with his harassing.

“Please leave me alone,” the girl said in a low voice, trying to evade eye contact with the creep.

“Come on, I know you want me,” the man said as he slid his disgusting hand towards the young girl’s bottom.

At that moment, Kirishima had walked into the shop after a long and productive day at school. He was ready to step in but was stopped by your voice as you tossed a used coffee filter at the man’s head. “She doesn’t wanna talk to you, you dumb fuck,” you spat in disgust.

The girl managed to get away in time, quickly thanking you as she sped out the door. The man, who was now covered in coffee grounds reached out to grab you from over the counter until Kirishima stepped forward and grabbed his wrist, forcefully bringing it down to his side. “Hey, man, why don’t you just leave before you make things worse for yourself?”

The man shoved Kirishima’s hold from his wrist as he stepped backwards, making his way out. He made sure to give you a piece of his mind, spilling out profane words from his mouth as he left. You simply rolled your eyes, flipping him off before turning to Kirishima. “Thanks for that. I deal with enough assholes like him so it’s nice to have some help.”

Kirishima chuckled. “No problem!”

Since that day, the bubbling feeling in Kirishima’s chest grew the more he saw you. From the first time he saw you, in which he was a bit hesitant to speak to you since the encounter with the sleaze, your conversations with Kirishima only expanded the more you saw him. You were assertive, a trait Kirishima admired, and weren’t afraid to speak your mind. But at the same time you were chill and Kirishima couldn’t help but blush everytime you knew his order by heart with a wide grin on your face.

For the rest of his time at U.A. High, Kirishima continued this routine of visiting the cafe initially for its meat buns but in reality he was satisfied everytime he saw your face.

Sooner rather than later, Kirishima eventually graduated and he left Musutafu to finally pursue his pro hero career. Each day passed and you frowned at the end of your shifts when you realized Kirishima hadn’t shown up that day. Eventually you grew accustomed to his lack of visits and didn’t bother to peer over your shoulder everytime the door opened. 

It wasn’t that Kirishima purposefully left without saying goodbye, rather he wasn’t given a break to breathe since he graduated. From being recruited by various agencies to being given a sidekick position, Kirishima was constantly busy. Slowly yet surely he climbed the ranks as the years passed and had managed to obtain a spot in the top ten heroes. 

And with this passing time, your life was progressing as well. After graduating from high school, your father gave ownership of the cafe to you as he finally retired. Although you knew you wouldn’t maintain the cafe forever, you still found a way to love the little shop on the corner of the street regardless of the amount of annoying customers you dealt with daily, 

You weren’t surprised in the least to see Kirishima’s face constantly wherever you went. You were well aware of his reputation as one of the promising students and upcoming heroes when he was at U.A. so you couldn’t help but smile everytime he was on the news. Even some of your regulars caught onto your little crush as the TV in the cafe would only play anything and everything Red Riot related.

And then that faithful day came, the door swinging open as the bell above the doorframe rang. A sigh escaped your lips as you wiped another coffee cup dry. “I’m sorry, we’re closed.”

“Aw, guess I was too late. I came by to see you again,” an all too familiar voice said with a light chuckle.

You twisted your head around, gasping internally as Kirishima waved shyly to you. You nearly dropped the cup in your hands but managed to catch it in time. “Y-You! You’re back?!”

Kirishima stepped forward, leaning his forearms on the counter. “Yeah, I’m in town so I thought I’d stop by my favorite place for some of your meat buns.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you crouched down in front of the display case that luckily had one meat bun left. You put it in a bag and slid it over to him. “Guess I can’t say no when Red Riot’s the one asking me for some meat buns.”

Kirishima laughed, rubbing the nape of his neck sheepishly. “Nah, it’s not like that! I’m Red Riot to most people but I’m just Kirishima with you.”

And for the next few days Kirishima continued to stop by your cafe, deciding to pop in after closing time since people would crowd around him when the place was open. Your adoration for him only grew as he did for you. He was a genuine person, one who hadn’t changed despite the years that had gone by and the reputation he had created for himself. He truly was an amazing person.

But to your disappointment, his visits decreased once again until he stopped showing up. You knew you couldn’t be mad at him, understanding that he had a demanding job, one which he couldn’t predict when he would be busy or not. And yet you couldn’t ignore the deep despondency you felt when you realized you wouldn’t see his toothy grin and that those blazing crimson eyes again for a while.

Just like it had before, time passed and sooner than later, a year had gone by. 

Kirishima was finally in Musutafu again and he walked down the street with a jig in his step, anticipating the expression on your face for when you would see him again. But he stopped dead in his footsteps, disbelief written all over his face as he saw the front doors of the cafe had been boarded up, signs littered all over the windows. “CLOSED DOWN FOR BUSINESS” was written on the signs and Kirishima felt his heart nearly sink to his feet.

He couldn’t believe it, not wanting to believe that he was too late. He couldn’t help but think that if he were more considerate towards you and let you know when he would be leaving and showing up then he might have made it in time, he might have gotten closer to you so that he could keep in touch.

But it was too late. It seemed that Kirishima would never see you again... or so he thought.

“Kirishima?” Kirishima whipped his head around to the source of the sound, an invisible weight lifting off his shoulders once he saw your figure approaching him.

Small snowflakes began falling gently from the sky as Kirishima let out a breath of air. He couldn’t help but smile at how adorable you looked, your face snug under the fabric of your scarf wrapped around your neck to keep warm from the frigidness outside.

“What happened to this place?” Kirishima asked, gesturing to the closed down cafe.

You let out a sigh, glaring at him. “You know, if you showed up moreoften then you wouldn’t be out of the loop.”

“I know, I know. I’ve been busy with work but I should’ve stopped by more than I did,” Kirishima admitted.

You smiled softly. “It’s alright, I was just joking. I know you’re busy kicking ass out there. But some company bought out the place and the rest of the shops down this road for some construction. Apparently they’re putting something else here. It was a shit ton of money so obviously I wasn’t gonna turn it down.”

“I see,” Kirishima mumbled, glancing over at the building. So many memories flooded his mind of the times he spent at this little cafe, all being bright and making his high school days a little more bearable compared to all of the chaos he faced at U.A. It made him dejected to see he wouldn’t have an excuse to see you anymore.

Or maybe he could change that now…

“Your number,” he sputtered out, extending his arm with him phone in hand to you. “Can I have your number?”

You blinked confusedly at him. “Uh sure!” You took the phone in your hand and punched in your name and your number and waved at him. “Well, I’ve gotta go. I need to sign some papers to officially sell this place.”

He took his phone back, smiling sheepishly at you before parting his lips to say one more thing to you. “I wanna take you out... to make up for all the times I left without saying anything.”

You smirked at the him, patting his shoulder as you walked past him, turning your head slightly to reply. “I’ll hold you to it, hero.”

***

“Can’t believe they turned that plaza into this beautiful park,” you said, leaning onto your boyfriend’s arm.

Kirishima tensed under your touch, his left hand dropping beside the bench to grab a plastic bag that he had left in preparation for the outing. He picked it up and placed it on his lap, pulling a sealed meat bun out from the bag.

You eyed the delicious food in delight, your stomach practically growling at the sight. “Where’d you get that from?”

“I got it from the market we used to go to. Their meat buns are so good.”

You scoffed, snatching the delectable bun from your boyfriend’s hands. “Nothing compares to my meat buns.”

Kirishima let out a laugh. “You’re not wrong there.”

He watched you in fondness as you ripped open the plastic and took a big bite out of the bun. He rose a finger to your lips, wiping away a stray piece of dough from the corner of your lips. Even while devouring food you were gorgeous.

Kirishima reached into the bag once more, gripping the velvet box in his fist. He turned his head to you as you continued to eat. “I used to go to that cafe everyday in my freshman year for some meat buns and I just remember thinking this place can’t get any better. And then you showed up and you gave me another reason to visit everyday.”

You smiled, wiping your mouth with the remaining bun in your hand. Kirishima rose a finger to your lips when you attempted to say something. “Wait, just… let me say this.”

You nodded slowly, slightly perplexed by what he was attempting to do. Kirishima looked down at the box which was out of your view. “I always thought that you were one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. And then that day when you stuck up for that poor girl who was being harassed by that creep? That was the day I knew I liked you, ‘cause you were a badass. I always thought heroes who were manly were cool… but you were the coolest. You’ve always spoken up for the things you believed in and it’s something I’ve always admired and loved about you.”

Kirishima looked back up at you, smiling with his cheeks tinting a light pink hue. “And then after all those years I finally got your number and the more time I spent with you, the faster I fell for you. And now after the years we’ve been together, I can’t help but want to be with you forever.”

You smiled from his sweet words, the chewed up meat bun filling your cheeks as you were completely oblivious to what he was attempting to do. “Eiji, you’re being so fucking cute right now.”

Kirishima laughed, his nerves quickly diminishing. “You idiot, I’m trying to say that I want to marry you.”

He pulled out the box with one swift movement, flicking the lid open to reveal a silver band with a ginormous diamond resting on top of it. Your eyes widened as you dropped the half-eaten bun to the floor. You began choking on the meat bun that was in your mouth, coughing profusely from the shock.

Kirishima rubbed your back, making sure that you were alright. “Are you okay?!”

Your coughs ceased as you were covering your mouth and you felt a wet substance hit your fingertips. Tear after tear emerged from your eyes as you began crying uncontrollably. Kirishima was dumbfounded as he dropped the velvet box to his lap. Maybe he shouldn’t have proposed so soon… maybe you weren’t ready… 

“I’m sorry… you don’t have to say yes. I was probably getting ahead of myself,” Kirishima muttered, gloom evident in his tone.

You peered up at him through wet lashes and wrapped your arms around him. You held onto him for a moment before you pulled away, kissing him harshly. He was left disoriented, not understanding what was going on. Again you pulled away, his cheeks cupped in your hands as you laughed through your tears. “Why would you even think I’d say anything but ‘yes?’ Of course I want to marry you, Eijirou!”

Kirishima’s face broke out into a grin as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for another kiss as he felt your tears wetting his face. He thought he couldn’t be happier with the time he had spent with you but in that moment he was the happiest he had ever been. He was now engaged to the love of his life, and he couldn’t believe it.

It all started with his love for meat buns… now he could look forward to his new life forever with you.

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[soybeantree]

a baby changes everything

pairing: do kyungsoo x (reader)

genre/warning: artificial insemination, drama

word count: 2.3k+

description:  when you decided to have a baby, you knew everything would change, but this is not what you expected...

a/n: november installment of our ‘trying to write a kyungsoo story for every month that he is gone’ series.

parts: o1 | o2

Cars splash through puddles as they whiz down the streets. Rain continues to patter down on the bus stops awning. Resting your hand on your stomach you attempt to quell your little one’s movements with a soft whisper. He continues to push against his boundaries, ready to enter the world or perhaps eager to protect his mother. Your nerves have much to do with his unease. Your internal whispering have had the same affect on you as it did on him. There is no calming your nerves.

Your bus arrives, and with a deep breath, you push yourself up and board. A thirty minute commute stretches between you and the upcoming encounter. It drags on, while simultaneously rushing ahead. You’re not ready for the meeting, but neither would you be given more time. They gave you a week to come to a decision, even though you knew your answer the day they asked. Your son is your son, and you will fight to keep him.

The first day you met your son’s father was the day his family requested you relinquish to them your rights to your unborn son. He sat silently at the end of a long boardroom table, his eyes fixed on something beyond the room’s windows. His lawyers and secretary were anything but. They chattered incessantly and at a speed which left you confused and irritated. Eventually, you tuned them out as your focus rested on your sperm donor. He was rich, presumably well-educated, and based on the current diatribe due to become the CEO of his family’s company. The question which circulated most through your head was “why?”. 

Why would someone like him go to a sperm bank? Clearly not for money. Perhaps treatment for an illness. Was he saving it for some future spouse? Were you given his sperm by accident?

In the end, why didn’t matter. What mattered was that your son was his son, and his family wanted his son. Your son was to be his heir and the heir to their company. You would become his surrogate, relinquishing all legal rights to him.

At the end of the meeting, they offered you a contract which outlined your duties for the remainder of your pregnancy and beyond. It included a gag order and the information regarding your compensation. They gave you a week to decide. As you prepared to leave, they delicately advised what would happen should you reject the offer. They had the means and the legal team to ensure your son ended up where he belonged, and when they succeeded you would end up desolate and destitute. The world passes by in a blur of gray. Water droplets race down the bus windows, and you watch them, betting on which will win. The distraction fails, so you stop. Your hand returns to your stomach, and this time you hum instead of whisper.

Telling your family you were going to undergo artificial insemination had released chaos. Your mother went silent, but her judgment was tangible. Your sisters vocalized their disapproval. You were still so young. You had plenty of time to find a guy and get married.

Telling your co-workers had started the gossip mill. Their disapproval stemmed from the opposite direction. You were a successful career woman, steadily climbing the corporate ladder. A child would complicate your life, and a woman didn’t need to have a baby to be complete.

You smiled politely and thanked everyone for their concern. On the day of your insemination appointment, you arrived early and prayed for success. A month later you received the wonderful news.

The comments petered out after you shared the news. The disapproval remained in their eyes though. You continued to smile politely as you planned for your new life.

Everything was going to plan which should have been a red flag that something would go wrong. Early in your third trimester after all your baby-showers and after you had completed your baby’s room, you received a visitor at work. His business card identified him as a legal representative of EXO Corporation, a corporation known the whole world over. You doubted the validity of his claim. Your employer had no connection with EXO Corporation, and your only personal connection came via the products you buy from their subsidiaries.

The man assured you he was indeed a part of their legal team and requested to arrange a meeting with you and the corporations president. You had snorted, the reaction involuntary but accurate. With a clipped smile, he informed you that they would send a car to pick you up the coming Saturday.

A car had arrived that Saturday, a week ago. It took you to the meeting which has haunted you and robbed you of sleep. This Saturday, you left before a car arrived.

The bus pulls up to your stop. You whisper a thank you to the driver as you descend the stairs. The EXO building looms over you, leaving you in its shadow. A chill shakes your shoulders. Raising your umbrella, you square the and march forward.

“Ms. Y/L/N.” You skitter to a stop and glance around for the source of your name. Do Kyungsoo stands beside a sleek black car, reminiscent of the one which came for you. From beneath his umbrella, he raises a hand in greeting, and you unconsciously mimic the gesture. Snapping your hand to your side, you politely nod before resuming your march. Ire burns in your stomach, but you smother it with reason. You need to be clear headed for the coming battle.

Arriving at the elevator, you tuck your umbrella in your purse and wait in vain for the doors to open before he comes. Kyungsoo takes the spot next to you, but the crowd of workers inhibits conversation. You board and ensure the crowd separates you. As the elevator ascends, the workers exit on their floors until only you two remain.

“I had hoped to speak with you before today’s meeting.” And he had tried. Every day at exactly 5PM, he would call, and after going to voice mail, he would send the same text. If you are available today, I would like to speak with you. “We still have a few minutes before the meeting. I intend to grab some coffee. We have water and juice.”

“I’m fine.” You decline with a polite smile. “I’d prefer to keep my time here brief.” The elevator dings, and the doors open. Kyungsoo motions for you to exit. He falls into step beside you and opens the door to the boardroom. Your upbringing forces a ‘thank you’ from your lips.

While you and Kyungsoo may be early, the legal team is earlier. They already sit around the table, vultures ready to pounce. When Kyungsoo enters, they stand and show their respect. He returns the greeting and situates himself at the head of the table. The legal team sits and motions for you to do the same.

You remain standing and meet their eyes. “Thank you, but there’s no need. I’m not selling you my baby.” Anger burns in your chest as you utter the vulgar response.

The head of the legal team smiles with all the sincerity of a fox. “Ms. Y/L/N, that’s a rather crude way of looking at this situation. We are merely compensating you for your services.”

“I don’t need compensation because I haven’t provided any services to your president or this company. I chose to have a baby. I chose the sperm from the options given to me. I chose to be inseminated. This baby,” you rest your hand on your womb, “is my baby. As we have no further business, I will be going. Goodbye.” You nod to them before exiting the boardroom. Indignation and threats fly at your back, but as the door closes behind you, they fade into silence.

Once more setting your hand on your belly, you feel peace. Your son has finally settled down to sleep.

In the nursery, you sit in the rocking chair you spent weeks agonizing over. Relaxing into its plush cushions, you commend yourself for your good decision. You have no regrets regarding your son, but certain decisions weigh heavier on your mind. The EXO corporation has maintained silence since you gave your decision, but their threats linger. If they decide to pursue legal action, you may lose your son.

The door buzzer breaks you from your revere. The rocking chair cushions are easy to sink into but difficult to climb out of. After much struggle, you free yourself. Eying the chair, you second guess your decision. The buzzer sounds again, and you table that thought for later.

Staring at the door cam screen sends fear winding through your veins. Kyungsoo’s face stares at you. He reaches for the buzzer again, but you open the door before he can push it. Body blocking entrance, you meet his eyes. He offers a smile which you refuse to return. With a nod, he pulls his hand from behind his back to reveal a take-away bag from your favorite restaurant. Your eyes narrow as you inch the door closed.

Clearing his throat, he lowers the bag. “I probably should have gotten something generic and not from the background check we did.”

“Probably.”

“It’s a peace offering. I was hoping we could talk. If not, the food is still yours.” He extends the bag, the smell of the food wafting forward. Your stomach growls, and your son nudges you. With a sigh, you grab the bag, keeping your fingers far from his. His arm returns to his side as he awaits your decision. Curiosity and fear mingle in your mind. Stepping back, you open the door wide.

You leave him in the entryway as you head to the kitchen. He enters as you finish transitioning the food from the container to a plate. The bag only contained one portion of your favorite dish. You settle at the table with your food. He takes up position in the kitchen’s center, hands clasped behind his back.

“I wanted to let you know that my corporation will not be suing you for custody. I have told them that we will respect your decision.” He begins as you chew on your first bite. Relief floods you as tears prick your eyes. Swallowing, you nod in acknowledgment but keep your attention on your food. “I also wanted to apologize.” Your next bite lodges in your throat as your knuckles whiten around your fork. Kyungsoo silences.

“Continue.” You offer before standing up and heading to the cupboard to grab a glass.

“I’m sorry for the way my company and my family treated you.” You pull a water pitcher from the fridge. “I’m also sorry for allowing them to harass you, my reasons for doing so were cruel.”

“Because you wanted to steal my son.” Your voice remains steady despite the roiling in your stomach. You set the pitcher beside your glass. Your hands are shaking too badly to pour.

“Because I didn’t trust you.”

“Trust me?!” Your eyes flash to him, your hands balling into fists on the counter top

He maintains your gaze. “I had concerns that you had chosen my sperm on purpose and intended to use the baby to exhort money from me. After meeting you and seeing your love for your son, I put my concerns to rest.”

Anger still burns inside, but you release your fists and pick the pitcher back up. You guzzle the first glass and pour yourself another. This one you hold in your hand, swirling it and watching the ripples. “Is that all?”

"No." You glance back up. He continues to stand in the middle of your kitchen, his attention fully on you. "I also came to ask you to consider allowing me to be a part of my son's life."

“Why?” The word snaps out.

“Because he is my son, and the only child I will have.”

“What?” You breath the question as you set your glass back on the counter.

“Last year, I was in an accident.” The tabloids had covered it ad nauseam. “What was left out of the news report was that the accident left me infertile. Information which could be detrimental to the corporation.”

“Did they have you save your sperm in case of something like this?” The “whys” you pondered resurface as you take your glass and return to the table.

A smile cracks his face, and he chuckles. “No. That was a lucky happenstance.” Curiosity tingles the tip of your tongue, but you seal your lips. The smile continues to play on Kyungsoo’s lips. He motions to the chair across from you, and you nod. As he sits, he continues. “After high school, I went through what my parents call my rebellious stage.” You snort around a bite, pieces of food flying to the table. Covering your mouth, you clear your throat and attempt to regain your composure. With him sitting across from you in a perfectly tailored three piece suit, you find it hard to imagine him going through a rebellious stage. He shakes off your reaction. “I ran away from home, lived on friend’s couches, worked odd jobs. At one point, I became desperate for cash, and my friend suggested selling my sperm. Any option was better than swallowing my pride and crawling back to my parents.

“After the accident when my parents and the board began to worry about the future of the company, I told them about the sperm. They went to the bank, but-” He shrugs. You know the rest of the story.

Running your thumb through the condensation on the glass, you contemplate his story and his request. “If I say, ‘no’?”

“I will respect your decision, but will request that if my son ever wants a relationship with me, you will allow it.”

“If I say, ‘yes’?”

“I will respect the boundaries you put in place.” You settle your hands in your lap and meet his gaze once again. You search beneath his calm demeanor and find the flicker of hope. 

“You know a lot about me.” He swallows but nods. “May I get to know you better before I decide?” The hope brightens, and he nods again.

#hmw #kyungsoo #do kyungsoo #d.o. #exo #kyungsoo drabble #do kyungsoo drabble #d.o. drabble #exo drabble #kyungsoo collection #kyungsoo fanfiction #exo fanfiction

[aelaer]

Whumptober 15: Scars

Don’t ask me where this came from; I wanted to write something short. This is the opposite of short.

Characters: Stephen Strange, Beverly Strange, Eugene Strange, Donna Strange Warnings: Just a bucket-load of angst. Canonical death by drowning, as well.

15. Scars 

Stephen got his first scar right on his inner wrist from before his memory got particularly good, because from what he knew, he always had it. Mom claimed that it was all Aunt Nancy's fault that he fell down in the first place, but Aunt Nancy was a rather tall and somewhat scary woman, so he never pursued it when he wondered about it and forgot the story when she was less scary and more annoying.

At age twelve, the scars were the remnants of hard play found on a farm in northern Nebraska. He was particularly impressed with the one on his knee that he got from a tree at school that he successfully climbed up but not so successfully climbed down. It was bleeding everywhere and it hurt so badly but at the same time it was really cool and he couldn't stop watching the doctors as they stitched him back up. He taught himself how to stitch after that, stealing Mom's supplies and trying to copy the stitches on his jeans and shirts, then Donna's stuffed animals, and then copying the ones he saw in a book from the library about surgeons and surgery.

Even Dad was impressed when he heard that he wanted to be a doctor, after his initial freakout about him stealing Mom's supplies to learn sewing. "Doctors help a lot of people, and unlike teachers, you can make good money from it." He didn't really consider the money when he started, but that sounded like a pretty nice perk, and he really didn't want to be a teacher anyway. Donna wanted to be the teacher, and told Dad that she didn't care about the stupid money, anyway. He laughed and told her, "Okay," and the conversation ended.

He worked throughout his junior and senior years to get all the money he needed to apply to universities all around the country. His physics teacher was a decent sort and pointed out all the best schools and where he could apply for grants and financial aid. He was on track to be valedictorian of his high school graduating class of a whopping size of 26 people, and that wasn't quite like a graduating class of 100 or 600 but it was still something.

Then he got accepted into Columbia University with a full ride scholarship. He freaked out. His principal freaked out. His physics teacher freaked out. One of them told the rest of the faculty in his school, and they all freaked out.

His parents also freaked out, but not in the same way as his principal and teacher.

"Columbia," Mom said with a light frown. "Isn't that in New York?"

"Yeah," he said.

"That's a bit far, Stephen," Mom said, and something deep within him twinged with hurt.

"Don't be daft, Beverly," Dad replied. "They're offering to pay for everything. He's gonna be gone for med school anyway after."

"There's a medical school at UNO," she replied. "Also ones at USD, DMU, and UMKC. And that hardly matters for undergrad; he can go to a school in Omaha or Lincoln, or maybe somewhere in South Dakota or Iowa."

"Yeah, but they're not paying for it," Dad argued.

Stephen decidedly did not tell them when he got a full ride scholarship to USD two weeks later.

Mom eventually accepted he was going to Columbia whether she liked it or not and didn't bring it up again for a long time.

——— 

At age nineteen, his most prominent scars were internal, written by the complete anguish and fury of his younger sister's death the summer after his first year of college. He should have known something was wrong when she didn't come up from the lake immediately. He should have known and pulled her from its depths faster, performed CPR faster, and Donna would still be alive and entering her senior year of high school and figuring out where she wanted to go to college to become an elementary school teacher.

But Donna was dead. Dead, drowned Donna.

His parents never said they blamed him, but Stephen knew that they did, because he was the one studying to become a doctor and he had failed to see the signs and rescue her fast enough. Of course they blamed him.

Two weeks after they buried Donna, he couldn't stand it anymore and rescheduled his flight back to New York for that weekend. If his parents couldn't take him, he'd call for a shuttle. He didn't want to spend the money he earned tutoring on things like shuttles, but he'd rather do that than spend any more time in that house.

Two days before his flight, his parents called him down to the kitchen. Dad was holding a beer; he spent the last two weeks holding a beer.

"Stephen," Mom started, clinging her hands together. "We'd like to talk with you."

An ominous feeling settled in the depths of his gut. "About?"

"Sit down," Dad said, voice gruff with grief, and he did so.

"It's been—" Mom's voice stopped, and she cleared her throat. "It's been a very, very hard summer, Stephen. The worst four weeks of my life." He nodded in agreement, and waited patiently as Mom got a hold of her emotions again. "It's— it's a reminder to us, how— how life can change in an instant. How little time we actually have. And, and Stevie—" He froze at the nickname; she rarely used it, per his request some several years ago, and when it slipped out he often did not like what she had to say next. "We see you so rarely. You're so far."

Stephen cleared his throat. "I visit during Christmas. I made Easter, too."

Mom shook her head. "That's not enough, not when it can—" She swallowed and heaved a shuddering breath.

"What your mother is trying to say," said Dad, "is that we want you to transfer to somewhere closer. Omaha, Lincoln, South Dakota, maybe even Des Moines or Kansas City, though the first three are preferable."

He stared at them. "You want me to transfer and pay thousands of dollars to go to a worse school?" 

"They're all fine schools," Dad argued. "And— don't worry about costs. We'll handle that."

"With what money?" he asked, incredulous.

"Don't worry about it," he repeated, more strongly this time and in a tone that demanded respect. Stephen considered arguing, anyway, but Dad continued onward before he could. "The money's beside the point, anyway. The school's are a bit far to drive to every day, but you can come home on the weekends."

"You're asking me to throw away the opportunities a place like Columbia University can give me for— for what? To make yourselves feel better?"

"Stephen!" Dad shouted.

Mom put a hand on Dad's arm. "Eugene," she murmured, then looked back at him. "Family is all we have, Stephen."

"Family is all you have," he argued. "I have a future, a career waiting for me beyond all this. And I'm not going to kill my future just because Donna's dead!"

That stunned them into silence. He could tell Dad was furious, too. He continued before he could lose his nerve. "And I've already booked a flight to go back to New York on Saturday. I'm going to the airport whether you drive me or not." He stood up and ignored Dad's angry shout at his back, and he left the house to walk for a while.

Late Friday night, Mom came to his room and asked him quietly, "What time do you need to be at the airport?"

He ignored the pang of guilt in his heart at her voice. "By noon."

"We'll leave at ten," she said, and he nodded and she left without saying good night.

The next morning she drove him to Eppley Airfield in Omaha. The ride was silent and Stephen tried to banish the silence by reading one of his textbooks.

About five minutes away from the airport, Mom asked, "Are you sure about this, Stephen?"

He couldn't look at her. "I'm sure," he muttered at the window.

She told him, "Be safe," and he nodded and the conversation ended.

———— 

The scars on his heart began to harden as they took on layers. More came that Christmas, when, against his better judgement, he agreed to his mother's pleas to visit over the holiday. She asked him to stay the whole winter break, but he lied and said he had an intersession class in January and could only stay a week. He didn't want to have to reschedule for his own sanity; he wasn't sure if he could handle his mother's disappointment if he did.

She was still disappointed, but over Christmas, the disappointment was largely overwhelmed by the grief of the first Christmas without Donna. None of them attempted to really change the atmosphere, beyond his mother's half-hearted results the first two days he was back in Nebraska. But it was too difficult an illusion to continue with his sister's spectre haunting every room, every tradition, and every memory.

His father was drinking a six-pack a day throughout his time there. From what he could see, this was business as usual.

Stephen only approached him on the subject the day after Christmas. "You're going to kill your liver at the rate you're drinking those."

"It's my liver to kill," his father replied.

He fell to silence and left the matter alone after that.

When he got back to New York and the faculty was back at Columbia, he talked with his advisor on taking a full summer course and any intersession courses available to cut his already fast-tracked graduation date of three and a half years down to three.

After he told his mother that he was staying in New York over the summer to graduate even earlier than planned, her weekly calls became bi-monthly, and slowly petered out to once a month by the time he graduated.

Throughout the rest of undergrad, he never went back to Nebraska.

———— 

After graduating, he spent a year working in a laboratory as he applied for as many schools with a combined MD-PhD program as he could afford. By the end of that year, he was back at Columbia within their rigorous program.

He completed it in a new record time. His advisors called him a prodigy. One told him that if his research continued down this new, innovative path, that he may yet change the field of neurosurgery. He didn't outright say Nobel Prize, but he didn't have to.

He entered his residency at the Columbia-affiliated New York-Presbyterian Hospital while still in his mid-twenties, on track to being a full-fledged neurosurgeon in his early thirties.

The monthly calls from his mother were no longer monthly. He didn't remember the last time he talked to his father.

Not too long after he turned thirty, he got a call in between shifts from his parents' landline (as they really didn't do cellphones; the service out on the farm was apparently terrible). He answered, "Hello mother," trying to keep as polite and patient as he was able.

"Not her," came the gravelly voice of his father, and he sounded awful. "But it's about her."

"What?" Stephen straightened in his seat. "What is it?"

His father didn't say anything for a moment, then: "She's got ovarian cancer. Stage four."

Oh God. "Where is she?"

"Overnight in Omaha. I'm driving back down early tomorrow." Another pause. "Your mom wants to see you."

He swallowed. "I'll— I'll see what I can do."

And he did. Residents didn't get that much time off, but Stephen hadn't taken a day off barring a horrible flu two years ago. He was permitted a couple days leave, and at the encouragement of a fellow resident by the name of Christine, asked for a few days around Christmas as well. He was granted them.

It wasn't a very happy Christmas, but his mother seemed genuinely pleased to see him, and he did his best to keep his spirits high around her, even as his father silently drank nearby.

On Christmas Eve, he found her thumbing a card when she thought he was not looking. Stephen later picked it up and found it was a Christmas card made by him when he was seven-years-old, signed by both him and Donna's childish signatures, and addressed to Mom and Dad.

He realized he did not remember when they stopped being Mom and Dad.

———— 

Beverly Strange died in the autumn of the following year. After her funeral, he did not return to Nebraska until his father passed away two years later from liver failure.

The service was small and their assets easily determined his. For some reason, he did not immediately put the farm up for sale the moment it became his.

As his paycheck steadily increased, he paid for the farm's upkeep and for someone to maintain it, but as the idea of selling or even leasing it entered his mind, he pushed it away for another day until the maintenance just became a monthly automatic payment that left his account. It eventually stopped entering his thoughts at all.

The scars on his heart remained. Christine, fellow-resident-now-fellow-doctor, tried to chip away at it, and she was partially successful in a way that few were. But even she could only do so much and her efforts eventually fell to the wayside.

Ten years after his mother's death, the most prominent of his scars to the naked eye were the blatant lines crossing both of his malformed hands.

But they were far from the first.

———— 

Notes:

I was going to write a short thing about his hands. Then this happened instead.

I know a brother, Victor, exists, but I honestly have no idea how to incorporate him into MCU Stephen's life, so he's just… not mentioned. Sorry Victor.

I presumed that, like most schools in California, that the unis in the Midwest are referred to by their acronyms. If I'm incorrect, please let me know!

College acronyms:

UNO = University of Nebraska Omaha

USD = University of South Dakota

DMU = Des Moines University

UMKC = University of Missouri, Kansas City

For those unfamiliar with American slang, a "full ride scholarship" straight out of high school means that the university is paying for your tuition, all educational supplies, and often boarding for all four years. While universities often give grants for parts of education based on both merit and financial need (ranging from a few hundred to tens of thousands of dollars, depending on the university), full rides are much rarer and to the top universities in the country, even moreso. 

To put this in perspective, I have a real life example: one of my friends in high school was valedictorian of a graduating class of 600. Her merit plus her family's very poor financial status got her a full ride to Stanford. The tuition alone to Stanford (a private, world-famous university) is $50,000; with housing and supplies, it's closer to $60,000 a year. She got all of that paid by the university (yeah, these private universities have a stupid amount of money). She worked her ass off for that scholarship, though. I think she also became a medical doctor, funny enough. But anyway, I imagine Stephen getting something similar as, along with the majority of families in the US being completely unable to afford private university's astronomical costs, Nebraska's cost of living is nothing compared to New York's — wasn't in the 90's, and it's probably a larger gap now. So combined merit/financial-based scholarships for such schools are pretty common.

#whumptober2019 #no.15 #scars #stephen strange #doctor strange fanfic #genre: angst #my writing #my fanfiction

[jessejostark]

“YOU KNOW, I LOVE HARD”

Jesse Jo Stark. The woman who’s worked with Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols, Duff McKagan from Guns N’ Roses, has Cher as her godmother, her parents as the founders of Chrome Hearts and is friend with Bella Hadid.

She’s the woman who’s worked with Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols, Duff McKagan from Guns N’ Roses, has Cher as her godmother, her parents as the founders of Chrome Hearts and is friend with Bella Hadid. But forget about all those names, she is Jesse Jo Stark, a super talented young woman with the soul of an old lady.

As a singer and songwriter she sings about themes like death and love and she calls her style ‘Horrific Hillbilly’. On 9th May she had her very first gig in Berlin as a support act for The Coathangers at Berlin’s Club Maze, in the cellar of a brick building in Kreuzberg. The gig went on for about 30 minutes and was filled with a lot of energy, Rock ‘n Roll and sex appeal. You could say the stage belonged to her.

The next day we met at the Hotel de Rome, in the centre of Berlin. Surrounded by her cousin, the guitarist of her band and her manager we had some coffee and croissants and chatted about love, life and the successful end to her tour.

LUCAS AVID HÜBNER Thanks for your performances yesterday and thanks for having us!

JESSE JO STARK Thank you!

LAH You said once in an interview that you are always nervous before a concert. How did you feel at your gig yesterday?

JJS I think it was nerve-wracking simply because we had been on tour. So I’m so jet lagged, but which also lends to it, it’s kind of nice to be a little tired, but yeah, I was nervous of course, I was not sure who was coming so I was very excited and it was cool to be opening up for this band. The minute I get on stage I’m fine, it’s just it gets dark so late here I was like ‘I’m all dolled up and it’s bright outside’ so this was kind of funny.

LAH So yesterday was basically your first gig in Berlin?

JJS I’ve been in Berlin once before and I played in a mall, but I only played like 4 songs and I was 19 so I’m counting this as my first time. Do you know what I mean?

LAH Which mall was it?

JJS Ellen von Unwerth was shooting and it was for either MIU MIU or MARNI, I can’t remember. I don’t remember which mall it was and I also didn’t now where to go. Afterwards we went to a couple of pubs and got really drunk and didn’t see anything and we ended up in this random night club – but this is the first time that I’ve gotten to explore the city. We had ramen last night and than we walked through Berlin and today we went to the spa. I’ve gotten to live it a little bit more here and so far I’m just fascinated I wanna stay longer.

LAH How did it happen that you decided to come to Berlin actually?

JJS Well, we had some meetings that I had to attend and I was like ‘If I’m gonna be out there I’d love to play. Can we try to find a show?’ And The Coathangers were looking for support acts so we just booked that show, and we happened to be in London so it seems to be like an easy hop and it’s the way we ended our tour so it’s been just pretty lovely to end on this now.

LAH I remember that you covered the song ‘Bette Davis Eyes’ by Kim Carnes at your gig yesterday why did you choose that song to play?

JJS Well, I love that song and we covered it and I just love to throw a cover here and there, songs that I love and respect and make them my own and then also it gets the audience going because they can related and ‘Bette Davis’ is just such a good song and I feel like singing that for me is just like I make it my own and it’s fun, it’s just good so we put it in the set. I changed up the covers a lot, I did a Rolling Stones cover last week, but ‘Bette Davis’ is just so fun.

LAH It’s actually more like a pop song isn’t it?

JJS I feel like we rock it out a little bit, I mean I love a good dance tune you know.

LAH So let’s talk a little bit about your background. You grew up in an environment that was shaped by many creative people like your parents Richard and Laurie Lynn Stark, founders of the jewellery label Chrome Hearts, and your godmother Cher. When you think back what kind of impact did they have on your career and your personality in general?

JJS I think that your environment when you grow up is so … you’re like a sponge, you know, you either take a lot from it or you run away from the family, right? But my family was so inspiring to me and I was around a lot of adults growing up and a lot creatives and a lot of music, around fashion, a lot of Rock ‘n’ Roll and I think that it just kind of stuck with me. My parents always drew me into their environment, they never like kept me away from it so I was always in the factory when they were creating things and fitting people, making garments for different people that happen to be musicians and my dad played tons of music for me on the way to school, so it just stuck in me.

LAH So it seems that you were surrounded by a lot of adults during your childhood, did you also hang out with friends of your age?

JJS Yeah I had friends, but I always felt a little misunderstood. You know, I love hard! I really waned to have this like crew of people that I could hang with, but I always felt really misunderstood and I was kind of angry, like I just never fit in anywhere. And so to be kind of expected so little and be around adults and my parents would let me hang with them I just felt that I absorbed more from that than from the kids my age, you know. Now I have peers and I am growing into myself and I have some really cool friends, but when I was younger it was just I felt like I was surrounded way more by adults.

LAH What about your siblings?

JJS They didn’t come til I was 13. So I got to be the only child for 13 years. When they were born I had a little more freedom.

LAH How is your relationship with them?

JJS Amazing. They are little entrepreneurs, my sister has a bikini line, my brother has a line where its about being active. My parents raise them the same way where you know there – it’s just a different respect level they don’t treat them like they are little, we all communicate. And my brother and sister, I would say I couldn’t love anything more unless I guess I had a baby because they’re just magnificent.

“I don’t fucking know why he didn’t like me!”

LAH Let’s talk a little bit more about your music. How did you know you wanted to pursue music?

JJS I just feel that I’ve always been fascinated with it and being able to create and write. And when I was little I just asked my dad like “Can I take piano or guitar lessons?” So they put me in lessons for different instruments, guitar, piano and some vocal lessons, so that was when I started writing my own poetry and wrote my first song I was really young.

LAH At the age of?

JJS I was like 9 or something. And it just became this thing that didn’t go away and I started recording covers because I thought my writing wasn’t good enough to record so I did random covers, like a pop cover, country cover I have like 50 covers recorded – I swear – and then I sought out to find a band.

LAH So you wrote your first song when you were 9? What was it about?

JJS ‘My heart’s on fire’. And it’s about a boy. It’s actually about this one boy from high school that didn’t like me, his name was Chase.

LAH Why didn’t he like you?

JJS I don’t fucking know why he didn’t like me! I still don’t know why. I remember writing that song, I was with my vocal teacher and she said “What are you gonna write about?” and I was like “I just feel…I just feel my heart is on fire.” And she was like “That is a song name.” And it was very short and had my best friend in the background doing vocals, it was very pop. And then I recently wrote a song called “Fire of Love” so I feel like it’s a full circle for me.

LAH So you said you did a lot of covers when you were young. If you could choose an artist to work with who would it be and why?

JJS I would say Merle Haggard, but he passed. Um …Oh, wait Stevie Nicks would be insane and Rhye, I love Rhye. I’ve been really embracing new bands lately because I’m usually only listening to old music. And some of the greats that are sadly passed like Lux from the Cramps or like Elvis. Just to name a few.

LAH So your musical background is also quite huge. You’ve worked with people like Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols for your first record, Duff McKagan from Guns N’ Roses and Cher. How have all these musicians influenced you in your music?

JJS I just think that one think they all have in common is they never bullshit me, they’re not gonna just tell me I’m good, they’re not gonna tell me it’s easy, you know. They challenged, me they challenged my creativity, being honest and like if i’m showing them a song they’ll be like – so Steve one day – the reason I worked with Steve was, well, I’ve known him forever but I played him a song and said “What do you think about this song?” and he said: “Well, love, I think it’s shit.” That was what he said. But it was actually really amazing it was during my time recording my first EP in my early 20’s.

“I want to look like a lady, but a little bit like fucked up as well!”

LAH So it actually helped you that he was so direct with his opinion.

JJS It helped. And I said well “If you think that it’s shit why are you even producing a record for me? Don’t just say that.” But he did and in the end we did like 5 songs together and now it’s the first body of work that was really important to me. He really pushed me in the studio and it was really cool to work with him and have his ear with my stuff. It’s important to meet that there is honesty and being challenged constantly. ‘Cause there are a million bands and there are a million artists and a lot of them are great, but a lot of them suck, so you gotta be yourself and you gotta push, push, push!

LAH We already talked a little bit about it, but besides music you are also interested in fashion. You did a collaboration with vans in 2011.

JJS I think I was like 19 they just came to me and “Wanna to do something?”

LAH How did this happen?

JJS I have no idea! There was this girl that was really cool actually this was when blogs where everything. What was it called… it was called like ‘Bleach Black’. Have you heard of it? It was really cool. And she loved me and she worked at vans, but then she left and she was just like “I want you to work with this girl Melissa” and they did this huge thing and I said I only wanna do it if we incorporate my music. And they did. And it was so fucking fun and then they rented out the Troubadour for me and I had a show and that was my first real show. They really incorporated and embodied me with fashion and with my music.

“I think I can honestly say right now in my life love is the scariest thing!”

LAH You also worked together with your parents for their label Chrome Hearts and also helped work on Bella Hadid’s gown for the Met Gala last year right?

JJS Well, you know we did a collaboration with Gareth Pugh a while ago and Bella is a dear family friend of mine and she is so involved with Chrome Hearts. She’s such a supporter we grew up together and we where just hanging and she was like “I’m wearing that to the MET” and then we decided she needed a veil and then we made this amazing veil and I was placing gold on it. It was just a really nice family project and she just rocked it and that was amazing, so things like that just happen when you are at the factory.

LAH How would you describe your style in terms of fashion?

JJS First of all, I have to be comfortable for the most part, it’s rare that I won’t be. I like to be warm and, I don’t know, I want to look like a lady, but a little bit like fucked up as well, and not always pristine ’cause I have a lot of vintage on, then probably add some crazy big earrings. I think it’s always changing, I like to dress up. It’s just an extension of my mood like anyone’s, if I am in a bad mood I probably wearing creepers this big and stomping around in them.

LAH Your look yesterday on stage was a mix of sexy and comfortable.

JJS My friend owns this line Tigra Tigra and it’s brilliant and she gave me that zebra dress. But then I go buy all of these fabrics and I just make a bunch of them and that’s my stage outfit. And than I costum-made those boots, they are really like my second feet, I feel so naked without them. I love them. It took a while to make them.

LAH What are your fears in life?

JJS Life.

LAH Well okay true, life in general is very scary.

JJS No. Okay, well, i can’t tell you my actual fear because I don’t want anybody to know that. Fear! … In the end I guess being loved is like the coolest thing and loving someone else so i guess…

LAH Not being loved?

JJS Like love, not not being loved, but love .. Love is kind of scary right? But i’m not scared of anything with my career, I think we manifest and we create what we wanna see for ourselves and that’s up to us. No one’s gonna do that.

LAH Yeah it’s the same over here, with love.

JJS Love right? I think I can honestly say right now in my life love is the scariest thing!

LAH What has been the proudest moment of your career?

JJS I think it’s all been really cool. I mean fuck i’m here right now, like this is amazing and I get to talk to you in Berlin, I played a show and I got delicious ramen and I was naked all day walking around the spa. It’s not bad. But I think one of my goals that I’ve wanted to make was going on tour. My next goal’s to play festivals. One of my proudest moments was the vans collaboration because I did that separate to my family and I made my own money and I killed it and I designed and I performed and I felt really satisfied and happy that I got to do that at a young age, you know?

LAH So now you are in Berlin sitting with me on this couch. What’s next for you? Flying back to L.A.?

JJS I will go to Paris to meet my mother and then have some meetings, but then I’m going back to L.A. to write an album. I’m gonna put out my first album.

LAH Awesome news. So are you planning to do that this summer?

JJS Yes, I’m planning to release it before next year.

LAH So in summary, there is a new album in planning, you want to play on festivals, more touring..

JJS Yes, more touring, come back to Berlin, maybe this September (winks).

And then we clinked our cups for her successful tour (mine filled with black coffee and her’s with milk tea).

#jesse jo stark #interview magazine #interview #2019

[i-writeandread-blog]

A Portrait of a Tortured You and I - Chapter 1

Okay, so I know I said Wonderland would be back, and it will be... I promise, but I sat down to write tonight and this is what came out. So sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. This new story is an amalgamation of truth and fiction. Many elements in this are from real life events. A writer writes what they know. So, this is really hard for me to share. I almost didn’t want to. I won’t say what parts are real or aren’t. It doesn’t matter. Just be gentle with my new child is all I ask. Thanks to anyone who reads. This is Chapter 1.

I was standing on the shore waiting for my time to board the ferry to an island- that for the next three days would be known affectionately as Mars Island. I had been through the worst eight months of my life and had shocked myself that I managed to pull off this trip. First, because financially, I was a mess. Second, because I was now terrified everyday. And third, because some of the Echelon had been unkind to me, during some of my darkest times.

Eight months prior, I was happy. Not the happiest I've ever been, but I was doing well. I had always battled depression but it was at bay, even though I had had a falling out with my sisters. This falling out forced me to need to uproot my life and leave my beloved California for the east coast where majority of my family lived. Without my sisters as my roommates, I couldn't afford to stay in Cali, as much as it pained me to admit. Sure, I could have moved out and tried to find a roommate on Craigslist, but I was too cautious and I was barely making ends meet with the two roommates I had. It seemed easier at the time to move back "home" with my tail between my legs. Of course, I did it at the worst possible time. A huge hurricane was barreling through the Atlantic Ocean headed straight for us. I arrived the night before all hell broke loose.

Nevertheless, we managed to soldier on. The house flooded, we had to stay at a temporary shelter, but we made it through. Still, the depression wasn't rearing it's ugly head. I was desperately trying to find a job, because there wasn't much out there in a rural southern coastal town. I had a career, but I left it to pursue writing. I was hell bent on writing or nothing at all. Somehow that translated into me getting a job as a waitress. So much for the "nothing at all." I have no idea what I was thinking, to be honest. I guess I felt like it would give me free time to continue to write. It didn't.

I was lonely, my friends were all married with kids and I was stuck living with my parents. Not to mention the dating scene here was as abysmal as the job market. I started working at a local diner, I knew almost everyone who came in, the tips were okay. What wasn't okay was the questions I got.

"What are you doing back here?"

— "long story..."

"Weren't you working at a law office?"

— "no, I was a court stenographer."

"Where's your husband?"

— "dunno, but if you find him, can you point him in my direction?"

And my personal favorite was,

"Are you having a mid life crisis? You're much too young and pretty for that."

— "uhh, thanks?"

So instead of working on my novel, or even reading somebody else's, I poured myself into watching documentaries. My love of true crime led me to watching one about a wrongfully convicted murderer. I was appalled that the justice system had failed yet again. I saw it too often when I was working in the courtroom. But unlike when I was working, I actually could have a voice now. I started going on these different blogs looking for ways to help people who had been hurt by the legal system. By early November, I had met a guy who shared my passion. I wasn't actually helping anyone, so much as just talking about the different cases and once I met Andrew, I didn't go on the blogs anymore. I became enthralled with him. Talking to him anytime, I wasn't at the diner.

I truly thought that Andrew would be the guy I had been waiting for. The man of my dreams. But on December 26th, out of nowhere, he stopped taking my calls.  At first, I was worried.  Then worry turned to anger, and anger turned to depression.  I never did find out what happened.  But, I do know he is alive and well, because he accidentally texted me one morning in January.  It was meant for his dad.  He didn't text again.

This was the start of my year.  It wasn't looking so good so far, for 2019.  Worse came to worse when I had to work a double on the day after Valentines Day.  Sylvie- the other waitress, myself, and Dan- the cook were discussing going out to a bar, but because I was so tired, I ultimately declined.  I ended up regretting my decision when they left and I was still fumbling for my keys.  Usually, we all left at the same time.  It just wasn't my night.  Three rowdy teenagers who had been kicked out of the diner earlier for being too obnoxious came out from the shadows, grabbing me and dragging me to the back of the diner.  I fought hard, grabbing and pulling at whatever, I could.  It was for naught.  They punched and kicked me over and over, spit in my face, tore my uniform half off, and then left me there bleeding and unconscious.

My parents had expected me home and sat around worrying when I hadn't at least called to say I would be late.  My dad decided after an hour to go looking for me.  He pulled up to the diner, saw my car and yelled for me.  I whimpered.  He followed the pathetic sounds to the back loading area where he found me.  The police investigated, but I couldn't remember anything about my attackers.  The diner didn't have any surveillance footage and all anyone remembered was they looked like typical kids.  They left no DNA evidence behind.  I had become a true crime victim.

A month prior, I had thrown caution to the wind and purchased this ticket to the island.  I was reeling from the "break up," if you could even call it that and decided, I could make it work financially, as I had a retirement plan I could cash out.  Now, after the attack, I was to be out of work for an indefinite amount of time.  I had some nerve damage and a punctured lung from a broken rib.  I didn't know how I was going to pay any of the hospital bills as I didn't have any insurance.  I decided to reach out to the people, I believed were more my family than my actual blood.  The Echelon.  My brothers and sisters in Mars.

I went onto Vyrt, as some of us still chatted on there and I nervously typed the following:  hey guys, haven't been on in a few weeks.  Have been missing you all.  Several people responded with hellos and where have ya beens.  Then, I admitted to them what had happened: well, it's been tough.  I was attacked. Left for dead, ya know... the usual. My sense of humor was my downfall here.  Many people thought I was joking, but I eventually admitted it was all true and said I was sorry for making it seem so lighthearted.  I told everyone how rough things were and that I had sadly cancelled my trip to Croatia.  I was lucky, because Adventures in Wonderland refunded me due to my circumstances.  Then out of the blue, someone I loved and respected, Natalie, typed: she's so full of shit guys, she just wants sympathy because she's living such a pathetic life. I was stunned.  Never once, had I ever went into Vyrt looking for a pity party, and never had I ever been mean or rude towards her.  She continued: I bet she never even booked mars island.  AiW doesn't do refunds ever! I don't know, guys.  She wasn't done, but at this point no one had come to my defense, so she rattled on: I bet she's trying to get Jared's attention.  Maybe she thinks he will allow her to come to the island as his guest. I was mortified.  I quickly logged out and laid sobbing on the hospital bed.  I had no one to turn to after all.

The next day, I had many messages from various Echelon.  Some were kind, others were nasty.  I decided to just leave the Mars "fandom" behind and try to pick up the mess that was my life.  That was until, I noticed an email notification from Shayla.  I at first thought it was a form letter email, since AiW had sent out several when they first were promoting the island.  But curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on it.

Shayla McGhee

To: Catherine Tyrell

Hi Catherine!

I wanted to let you know that someone decided to pay the remainder of the balance for your Mars Island package.  Is it okay for us to process their payment?  We haven't issued your refund of the first payment yet, is this also okay?  We understand if the circumstances surrounding your reason to cancel will keep you from attending, but maybe you can still join us?  Let me know!

Best

Shay

I read and reread the email about a dozen times.  Surprised would be an understatement.  I couldn't fathom who would have done this for me.  As far as I could tell the entirety of the Mars fan base hated me.  I pressed the call button and waited for my nurse to saunter in.

"Well look who has a huge smile on her face!  What do you need, honey?"  She asked.

"Can you ask the doctor to come see me.  I need to ask him a question about my recovery process."  I wanted to know if it was even remotely feasible for me to travel halfway across the globe in a matter of six months time.

"Sure, dear.  I'll see if I can find him doing his rounds.  Need anything else?"  I shook my head and she left the room.

A few long hours later, I had my answer.  If I followed all instructions, I'd be out of the hospital in a couple of weeks and I shouldn't take too long to recover physically.  I was warned that I had to follow all the rules or I may not recover in time.  I believed in myself and sent a reply back saying, I would be making it to the island without hesitation.  I was on cloud nine.  If only I knew then what I know now.  My recovery wasn't just going to be physical.

That night the nightmares started.  The panic attacks started the next day.  The need to not be left alone started a week later.  I was an emotional wreck.  I don't even know what triggered it.  My therapist says, "The human brain is a tricky one.  Sometimes it takes time for trauma to sink in."  I was diagnosed with severe PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc.  The depression I was used to, the constantly being afraid, I wasn't.

I wanted to be normal again, but no matter what I did, I was always in a state of alert.  I began checking the locks on the doors many times before I was satisfied they were truly locked.  I would jump at the slightest sound.  I'd burst into tears randomly.  I couldn't watch TV because everything had violence.  Even cartoons were getting bad.  I was miserable, only leaving the house for doctor appointments.  I was a shell of my former self.

The time for the island got closer and closer,  but I was in no position to travel.  I was almost completely agoraphobic.  One day, my mother who didn't necessarily want me to travel alone came in to my room, where I was still sleeping at noon.  "Okay, enough is enough! Get up!  I know you're sad, I know you're scared, but you aren't doing anything the therapist has suggested you do.  You need to fight this head on.  No stop pulling the blankets over your head! Wake up!"  I grumbled and sat up, yelling.  "Can you NOT, Mother!  I don't need your bullshit, right now."  As soon as I said the words I felt sick.  I was never one to treat my parents with disrespect.  I hated who I had become.  Fortunately, my mother took it in stride.  "Catherine Leeann Tyrell, I'm only going to say this once, you ever talk to me like that again and there will most certainly be hell to pay.  This is your one get out of jail free card.  I'm going to let it slide because I know you are terrified.  But you can't live like this anymore.  Bad things happen all the time.  They happen to everyone. You are not the first person to have this happen to.  As special as you are, you're NOT that special, that you'd be the one and only person to be attacked.  Now, some nice person did you a favor and paid for you to have a wonderful experience.  Are you going to let their money go down the drain because you can't be bothered to at least try to live again?"

My mother's monologue shook me to the core.  She was right.  I needed to confront this head on.  She then dropped a letter on the bed and walked out.  There was no name or any sender information.  My mother had already opened it, no doubt to protect me in case it were something bad.  I sat there staring at the contents.  Laying in my lap was a cashiers check in the amount of $3,000 and a note.  It simply said:  "for your travel arrangements to Croatia."

#thirty seconds to mars #30 seconds to mars #jared leto #campmars #marsisland #jared leto fiction #jared leto fic #jared leto fan fiction #jared leto fanfics #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fanfiction #echelon

[black-halla]

Fear and Loathing in FS thread or What’s Wrong with Eteri Tutberidze

Disclaimer by me: Sports.ru is a fan web resource full of very toxic people who move from love to hate very easily. They are ready to spend their nights on the site writing mess things about athletes. Why? I don’t know. This article is about disappearing Russian skaters and the faults of Tutberidze, written as reply on the article “What’s wrong with Medvedeva” and also as reply to all toxic haters in fs fandom. A lot of sarcasm here. Please, beware.

«Hate is easier than love. Hate can be explained.»

Prehistory. For those who joined fandom during the Olympics, and do not really understand what’s happening.

In the previous series:

ep.1. On the eve of the Olympics, the story of one cycle. Pre-Olympic seasons 2015-2017.

In the lead roles (titles and age as for May 2018):

Elizabeth «she smoked live on Periscope, ew!!!» Tuktamysheva, World Champion 2015, triple Axel, 21 years old.

Sports.ru hates her for «disgusting programs» , «extra weight»  and laziness.

Elena «fat cheeks, left Goncharenko (her coach), ew!» Radionova, 2-times junior world champion, holder of the badge of CSKA school, 19 years old.

video

Sports.ru hates her for her lifestyle and her «mushroomed» CSKA. [Mushrooms (Russian fs slang) – high PC scores. To get mushrooms – to have high PC’s scores.]

Anna «unstable and injured, ew!» Pogorilaya, bronze medalist of the World Cup 2016, skater with the most unusual programs and stunning looks, 20 years old.

video

Sports.ru hates her less now because she doesn’t skate.

Adelina Sotnikova — episodic role, the Olympic gold of Sochi.

video

(she had such jumps, oh).

She is hated on Sports.ru for everything.

Maria «woman-underotation» Sotskova.

video

Well, obviously, it's hard to hate a person you do not remember.

Team «Tutberidze’s monsters»

Evgenia  «LICEMERIC MEAN SHIT»  Medvedeva, 18 years old. The winner of everything in the seasons of 2016-2017. 

Polina «totally injured» Tsurskaya, 16, owner of the most beautiful « hunged» jumps and talent, yet unrealized.

Alina Zagitova, 15 years old. Olympic champion 2018 had not yet annoy anyone in her first season at the adult, so no nicknames on Sports.ru.

Team «former Tutberidze‘s monsters»  + episodic male roles: 

Yulia  «she leaved Tutberidze because she was lazy and fat»  Lipnitskaya. The one «in a red coat»  who «beautifully put her leg up».

Adyan  «lazy! (not fat because he’s not a girl)»  Pitkeev, the former hope of the dead now men's figure skating.

Sergei Voronov, episodic role.

Team «very former Tutberidze‘s monsters»

Polina Shelepen’ was «lazy and ungrateful»  along before it became mainstream, oh, wait, I mean, before Medvedeva, Lipnitskaya and Tsurskaya. The first student of Tutberidze, who stepped at a high level.

video

(it turns out, she was a swan before the mainstream too!)

Brief content of the 1st episode:

Olympic champion Adelina Sotnikova opens the beauty salon, visits talk-shows, posts in Instagram — in short, goes into the shadows, but sits in the care of the federation. Olympic champion Yulia Lipnitskaya does not cope with eating problems (not confirmed) and injuries (confirmed). After leaving Tutberidze's group (accompanied by scandals), Yulia tries to pursue a career, but the Rostelecom drama and the flow of dirt on Sports.ru come to see her soon.

To replace the champion here comes Liza Tuktamysheva and her triple axel (the same one, for whose performance Mirai Nagasu will become the hero of the US, despite the modest final place), but a year later the axel leaves, and together with him Liza leaves too. Well, she is still here, but there is no chance for her at all.

On the place of leader comes 15-year-old Evgenia Medvedeva, who dominates everywhere for next two seasons. A new world record holder, which guarantees the talented Russian team what it lacks – the stability.

At the pick up Zhenya has Lena Radionova and Anya Pogorilaya, who leave at the end of the episode right before the Olympics. Lena — because of coach changes and sharp growth, Anya .... Anya is a theme for a single episode.

Quintessence of the state of the Russian women's team in 2016-17: World Cup 2017, where the fate of the Olympic tickets was determined. The hellish fight at the Russian Nationals and ... the deafening failure of the 2/3 team at the decisive moment. Medvedeva and her iron nerves pull out 3 tickets for the Olympics. «School Tutberidze» , they say. «Iron nerves» , they say.

Only one problem, «evil, dirty»  tongues whisper quietly behind their back that Tutberidze can not coach adults. If Zhenya will have a hard puberty, her career will be finished: talented Yulia Lipnitskaya left after the Olympics. ET has no students who perform reaching the age of 18 years. The coach is credited with the hellish methods of weight loss (which cannot be sustained after puberty) and indifference to injuries. As confirmation — the trauma of the Main Tutberidze’s Monster, «indestructible» Medvedeva. But Zhenya goes to the starts. Behind her back — the whole team. Problems? First, not everyone agrees with the PC — this is a clear premium from the Federation for stability. Secondly, lutz. A clear technical problem.

At this time, a girl named Alina Zagitova wins the junior world championship. Tutberidze took her in group recently. She’s still in the shade.

ep.2. During the Olympics (All of you has watched this episode)

Prologue: Medvedeva's speech in Lausanne at the IOC meeting, where the issue of Russian team’s admission to the Olympics was decided. Zhukov's gratitude for Medvedeva and her knowledge of the language.

Main action: Olympics. Drama. Technical superiority of the younger rival. The unofficial prohibition of Tutberidze to call «stepdaughter» Zagitova Olympic champion. A stream of mud in the comments: The Sports.ru's troops, of course, begin to protect the defenseless and disadvantaged minors, watering the aging old generation with mud.

ep. 3. After the ball (You are here).

Starring:

«Supernew monsters of Tutberidze» 

Alexandra Trusova. 13 years old, 148 cm, quads in official competitions. 

Alena Kostornaya. 14 years, 146 cm, triple axel. 

Anna Shcherbakova. Broken leg, but now jumps everything, including quad lutz, hello, Misha Kolyada.

«We were in the shadows, but we are also monsters of Tutberidze»

Darya Panenkova. 15 years old, the only one who passed puberty, but not very «danceable, according to the coaches themselves. 

Anastasia Tarakanova. 13 years old, according to rumors all the same dropped out of struggle due to injury.

Evgenia Medvedeva as the main villain.

In this episode: Supernew Monsters of Tutberidze «stamp» the quads in Instagram. Zagitova is in the shadows.

Evgenia Medvedeva after months of rumors leaves the coach. The coach shows on the air of national channel a private conversation in Viber and pretends that she learned about the transition only from news. Medvedeva leaves for Orser, perhaps the world's most famous coach, who just has a free places in group.

There is a lot of gossip and mud: they say, the coach from the group of Tutberidze himself says that the quads of the Supernews will leave soon; someone gloats.

A photo appears where Eteri hugs Zagitova like a mother. From this day Alina can be called the Olympic champion. Now, Alina is the New Hrustalnaya Daughter.

[Hrustalnaya means Crystal; Tutberidze’s rink is called Hrustalniy.]

The main part. What’s Wrong with Eteri Tutberidze?

Before the beginning:

Eteri Tutberidze is an excellent coach. Yes, she does not have athletes over 18 years old. But the successes of Lipnitskaya (in her few seasons on senior) and Medvedeva (under 18 years) cause respect. Yes, the junior coach. But the sport is changing, and Eteri enjoys this very well.

But with all due respect, here are the tense moments collected in one post.

1) The methods of training are clearly not designed for long-term athletes.

About nutrition of Lipnitskaya:

When she needs to lose weight, she eats only powder «Squid» — it's fiber, which gives energy. It's hard, and the weight goes down very slowly — 100 grams a day. But she copes, thank God.

via

It's not very surprising that Yulia started having weight problems, right?

Of course, it's much easier not to put the girls on the weigher during puberty, not to take food from them, not to force running crosses... Of course, the child is hurt, and he very often seeks whom to complain. Not everyone understands that if the coach screams at you, it means that he loves you.

via

Athletes of Tutberidze have usually very small height and weight (Medvedeva is  159 cm and 41 kg according to Tatler). It is purely physiologically impossible for 18 years. She’s even smaller than her mother. And by the way, screams mean love?

2) Medvedeva — not the first one who left Tutberidze like this.

Lipnitskaya and Medvedeva left without saying goodbye. It's not polite. But, whatever one may say, this is an indicator of fear and a general atmosphere in group. Why does Eteri say that all her leaving athletes are beasts? Why along with Medvedeva Tsurskaya left, which in another version may become the second number in the strongest group of the country? Why Shelepen’ left the same way? Are they all «ill-mannered, lazy and ungrateful» , while Eteri is one there who’s the right?

If the young girls were not afraid to go to the Olympics, why did the fear to write to the coach turned out to be more of a fear to go out in front of millions of spectators and give out a skate of the life? Perhaps the famous methods in the style of «wagging on the ice» had the opposite effect, when the athletes become more mature. Adulthood inevitably leads to the appearing of critical thinking.

And by the way, is it possible to speak so loudly about love and family relations, when...

3) Unethical statements about the left (and even not yet time to leave) athletes.

…when after you talk about them in bad manner, giving wvwryone all the small details of the leave? Why do we know everything about the leaving of athletes? Is it necessary for public? What is this for? Eteri has no one to share, and a strong woman does not want to cry near the window alone?

Adyan Pitkeev.

Before leaving:

He is always focused on himself. The presence or absence of several practice mates does not reflects on him. There is such a type of athletes.

After leaving:

At that time, several guys were riding at the same level, but the coaching staff had to prove their love to him on a daily basis. He had sincere tears when he thought he was not needed. The guy ran away, threw the skates into the garbage can. Of course, he didn’t want to leave skating. But he wanted someone to get these skates out of the can, wipe it, bring it back to the locker room and say to him "Adyan, come back.”

He shouted on trainings: “Withdraw me, I do not want to go there as a tourist.” How is it to «withdraw» ? Why «tourist»? Before this European Championship there was a chic Russian Championship. Why does he suddenly start acting like this? We persuaded him with love very long. But in the end we literally forced him to go on the championship.

Polina Tsurskaya.

Eteri says the one of the most talented female athletes had a bad season because of the rare genetic disease.

The mother of Polina denies.

A year later, Polina leaves the coach. She says that she doesn’t know for who she’s going. Clearly cunning.

Yulia Lipnitskaya. 

all about her leaving

The main reason for the transfer according to Tutberidze's version: 

Yulia is very driven. She does everything her mother says her to do.

Zhenya Medvedeva.

Well, you know. Publishing of the private chat, loud complaints for the fun of the public.

The full list of athletes who «for some reason» do not greet Eteri — here.

You know, when people constantly leave that way, even those whom she calls   «her children» (Shelepen’, Medvedeva, Lipnitskaya), are you either a very naive person or a very complicated person? And not all coaches of the group share the negative attitude of Eteri to the «defectors» : 

I can say only one thing: every person chooses his own destiny. If Evgenia decided this, then it remains to hope that she will succeed. I have known her since childhood, I accept her any decision. Is it wrong or not — time will show.

via the choreographer of the group, Zheleznyakov.

Is it possible to blame a person for leaving without saying goodbye the place where people are called pets? Yes, sure, it is. Do we know all the details of the conflict? No, we don’t.

4) Pay attention to the recurrence of the scenario:

From Medvedeva's sincere faith that «we just need to work harder and to not eat»  to the beautiful Alina’s phrase: 

Talking about puberty, when you become fat, it seems to me, that this is all fiction. You just need to close your mouth and not eat! Or, at least, eat a little. I eat, but in small quantities.

via

It’s impossible not to grow up ever. In modern Russian (and world) sports, only Medvedev succeeded. Well, Tursynbayeva and Miyahara too, perhaps. Where is the guarantee that Tutberidze's school will release an adult athlete into life?

5) Choreography.

Daniil Gleichengauz is a wonderful young specialist. The Tutberidze’s group has excellent specialists, but… There are some questions to the choreography.

1) Why did Medvedeva really has the same program every year? It's not she herself who made herself the program with her mouth open.

2) Why do the students of Hrustalniy have such, um, strange topics in their skate? Escape from an asylum for 15-years girl?

Coming out of a coma for Medvedeva? Red lipstick of Panenkova — it's absolutely something weird that will appear in nightmares of fs fans all their life.

In total. The main questions we have to this whole situation.

1) Could Medvedeva progress further in the Tutberidze group? Is her leaving the reasonable step? Was it necessary to wait for another brilliant program in the same style with same elements?

Obviously not. Leaving is a great solution. Was situation ugly? It was. But why we are on the side of coach? Why the fact that the change of coach is an absolutely casual story for figure skating takes the second plan? Radionova left Goncharenko. Gubanova left Turenko. Sotskova and Tarakanova left Panova. All these coaches didn’t throw the skates in the backs of leaving athletes.

The difference is that all that people left because of a lack of ice or PC. And here? Why did Tsurskaya leave? Yes, silent leaving is terribly ugly. But why does everyone leave from Tutberidze without saying goodbye? How did it happen that this talented coach this season will have only adult women? Why all this people are so ungrateful? Is the spreading of information about the leave of each athlete ethical?

2) Why is there such a hype around the phrase «keep Alina one season in juniors» ? Medvedeva should refuse to translate for Zagitova at press-conferences? Where is the line between «hypocrisy» and professional ethics? Is it possible to judge a person for emotions?

3) Yes, the comments of Tarasova and others were incorrect. But what does Medvedeva have to do with it? Why is it so fashionable to hate winners, especially on Sports.ru? Why everyone here  is hated?

And the very main question.

Why do we not appreciate our athletes, knowing well that between 10 talented at a high level will hold 1-2? Of the talented list of Sotnikova, Tuktamysheva, Lipnitskaya, Proklova, Sakhanovich, Pogorilaya, Radionova, Medvedeva, only one potential revealed her potentional. And God forbid it will open further. We do not have many of them.

For the next season, Zagitova, Gubanova, Konstantinova, Panenkova remain competitive, not injured and inclined to struggle. The oldest (and hated by public) of them is 17 years old. The rest are 15 and 16. Our list of hopes: Shcherbakova, Trusova, Kostornaya, Tarusina, Panova's school. Changes in the rating rules from the next season will somewhat «skew» the advantage of the Russian school — jumping in the second half and technical complexity. It will become more difficult.

«Tutberidze’s conveyor» is an ambiguous phenomenon, but it deserves respect. In any hero there is a hint of villain. In any villain there is something human. This is about both sides of the conflict.

But in the argument «girls should be grateful to Tutberidze for who they are» there is one significant omission — Eteri should also be grateful to those who worked for her name. And we too should be grateful if we demand moral superiority over the mortals from the athletes.

And nationalism and general hatred against athletes is bad.

Please, think about it.

#evgenia medvedeva #eteri tutberidze #translation #2018 #brian orser #yulia lipnitskaya #polina tsurskaya

[13thgenfilm]

Working On ‘Last Chance Charlene’ By Felipe Barandiaran

Felipe Barandiaran is a Miami native pursuing a degree in Film Production. He is currently a production intern with 13th Gen, part of the company’s national remote internship program, which is currently mentoring four talented, aspiring filmmakers.

Setting the Scene

It was May 18th, 2021 and I was sitting in the glow of my computer screen, waiting to enter a Zoom call, a common occurrence in these times. However, this was no ordinary Zoom call for me, it was one that would change me as a filmmaker forever. 

I had started my internship at 13th Gen in April and right from the start I loved all of my assignments. With some guidance from Marc Smolowitz, 13th Gen’s CEO & owner, I narrowed my focus to working on narrative work and was offered three scripts to review. Reading the three stories helped me understand different writing styles and exposed me to new stories that I never would have thought of myself.

One story stood out for me, “THE THORNS WE LIVE WITH,” written by Tony Gapastione. I liked it because it combined humor, drama, heartfelt moments, and much more. I let Marc know my thoughts on the project and a few days later I received a phone call from him with a life-changing offer: if I was interested in working on Tony’s first feature film - a different project called “LAST CHANCE CHARLENE” -  he would help make the connection. I told him I needed a couple of days to think about it but in retrospect, I already knew the answer. 

Back to May 18th ... My first meeting about the project was fast-approaching and my nerves grew with each passing second. At 5:30pm exactly, I saw Tony Gapastione’s face for the first time and all of my nervousness went away when we began talking. I don’t remember much more of the meeting, but I do know it went well because I bought a plane ticket from Miami to San Francisco after only just meeting someone on the internet!

A Big Change On Day One Of Shooting 

The day before the project kicked off, I had only been in the Bay Area for one day. We started rolling officially on June 6th and I was about to meet everyone for the first time. In an unplanned feat of perfect timing, I arrived on set at the same time as Tony, the director of the film, and then little by little, the principal crew showed up to dress the set and get everything ready for this first day of shooting! 

Once the whole crew arrived, we huddled around so everyone could meet each other and break the ice, as they say. When the huddle broke, Tony approached me with Terry, the Script Supervisor, to let me know that the first two days of shooting I would not be a PA (Production Assistant) but would be filling in her role because she was unable to be on set. I took the unexpected opportunity and ran with it!

Overall Experience

Everything I learned in film school was about Hollywood sets and how big teams functioned. We were taught that crews can only work in their respective departments. For example, grips cannot touch lights, and best boys can’t touch any grip equipment, etc. The beauty of independent filmmaking is there are no rules, no steadfast boundaries - everyone pitches in to get the job done. The editor of the film, Lupe Talakai, was also the 1st AC, Second Camera, and a producer of the film too. Kat Yeh, who was on wardrobe, also helped out in other areas; in fact, the crew nicknamed her Super Wardrobe! Alex Gonzales, who originally started as Video BTS, morphed into a producer and played a big overall role in the film. And look at me, I started as a Scripty and left the project as AD (Assistant Director). For me that’s the beauty of indie filmmaking, there are no boundaries - you’re given the opportunity to do many different things and move around as needed. 

Stepping onto that set on the first day, I never had experienced working on a film this size, but with the help of our amazing crew, I felt confident that I could do my job. Like me, it was almost everyone’s first time working on a feature, so there was an aura of pride and joy all around. 

My first two days covering for Scripty created a strange illusion of time passing by a million miles an hour, but weirdly at the same time moving at a snail's pace. I’ve had similar experiences in school, funny enough while taking notes in school. On paper, the tasks for those first two days sound fairly simple: take notes and make sure everything stays the same. However, this is where you would be mistaken. As the Script Supervisor, you have to make sure every action from every angle is done at the same time and speed, every prop in the background stays in the same location, and every line perfectly said, and right on time! As much as I tried to hide it, my brain was completely fried trying to hold on to all of the small details of every potential continuity error. After two days in this challenging role, I was passed the torch back to Terry and moved onto the next task. 

I originally joined the project as a PA, but as you know by now, the indie filmmaking world is anything but ordinary. There was a vacant spot for the AD role, which is unusual itself, and having a PA jump to AD is almost unheard of. It’s the equivalent of an intern at a tech company being promoted into a head coding role within their first 2 weeks! Nonetheless I jumped into the role as smoothly as I could. I have had prior experience as AD on some student films and understand what’s needed, but jumping into that role on a project this size was definitely a huge step. For me, this marked the biggest growth I have had as a filmmaker at this point of my career. 

Working alongside Tony showed me how to be a leader without brute force, and to lead by example. His company, BraveMaker, operates by the core values of love and optimism to create a better future, while also offering a step into the filmmaking world. Tony himself is the embodiment of BraveMaker’s core values. 

My first day as AD was a big day not only for me, but the whole crew, as that was the day we had Alley Mills on set. It was the first time most of the crew had the chance to work with a well established name in the industry, which motivated us to work harder and more efficiently. She was such a great presence and was extremely caring. After we wrapped she wished us the best in completing not only the film, but in our young and budding careers. 

Typically, an AD is the most hated person on the film crew because they are charged with encouraging the team to complete their best work. This can entail a lot of yelling and sometimes gaining the respect of a crew under the AD role is a very thin line to navigate, one I felt like I succeeded with this project. 

Throughout the rest of the filming, I was extremely grateful that even though I came on as a PA and then moved to an AD, I was given a chance to complete my job and had the backing of my crew, from the Producers Keren and Jessica, who helped me transition into the role smoothly, to the DP Christian, who I assisted to get the shoots he needed on time, and to the Director Tony, who greenlighted the idea to bring me up as AD, working closely with him.

End Scene

The filming of “LAST CHANCE CHARLENE” was an experience that I will never forget and it has definitely advanced my abilities as a filmmaker. Returning home with this newly gained confidence is helping me with my internship at 13th Gen. Currently, I see the skills I learned while working with a big film crew help me in my one-on-one dealings with clients, which is helping me on the project I am working on for Marc, THE G WORD. In the future, 13th Gen is working with Tony on his next feature length project, “THE THORNS WE LIVE WITH.” To learn more about this San Francisco-based film company, visit 13thgenfilm.com.

Written by Felipe Barandiaran.

[mr-entj]

1) welcome back! You were missed! 2) Do you think certain MBTI types are prone to certain problematic behaviors and 3) if so which ones really bother you or you dislike?

Thanks. Yes, certain MBTI types show trends when it comes to problematic behaviors. My top one for each cognitive function:

High Te (ENTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ISTJ): The Sledgehammer

Summary: Uses a one-size-fits-all solution for different sized problems.

Example:

Using brute force to power through situations that might require more patience, finesse, and reflection.

“This worked great for me, you’re dumb not to do the same.”

“Don’t pursue a career in art, you’re going to be poor. Go into business, law, or medicine.”

Impact: The problem with being a hammer is that you’ll start to see everything and everyone as a nail. It also makes people feel like their opinions and points of view are less valuable than yours. It also falsely presumes that the choice which yields the best output objectively (example: the job that yields the most money) is the best. It negates the reality that people have different indicators for success because there isn’t only one correct answer to every question.

Solution: Incorporate subjective variables into your objective logical frameworks.

High Ti (INTP, ISTP, ENTP, ESTP): The Hamster Wheel

Summary: Invalidates everything in a perpetual logic loop.

Example:

“Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?” x1,000,000

Impact: You succeed at winning debates but fail at solving problems. Whether or not you can rationalize the validity of money doesn’t take away from the fact you still have bills to pay at the end of the day. Whether or not you can rationalize the value of grades and traditional education doesn’t take away from the fact you’ll be denied entry into many careers without the right qualifications. Whether or not you can rationalize that having children is a logical idea or not doesn’t take away from the fact that many people aspire to be parents. The validity of other people’s goals, dreams, concerns, and issues are not contingent on whether or not they can explain them to your satisfaction.

Solution: Create solutions, answers, and actions for every hole you poke in other people’s logic– not more problems.

High Fe (ENFJ, ESFJ, INFJ, ISFJ): The Guilt Trip

Summary: Guilt trip. verb. to make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something.

Example: Self-explanatory.

Impact: This is manipulation. You’ll get on people’s nerves and make them miserable because you’ve forced them into situations they didn’t willingly want to enter or participate in of their own accord. Secondly, you haven’t provided solid concrete reasons and logic for why someone should do something, it’s an argument made without taking into consideration the other person’s comfort or needs. 

Solution: Explain clearly and transparently why you want someone to do something (yes, it’s really that simple).

High Fi (INFP, ISFP, ESFP, ISFP): The Cloudy Mirror

Summary: Judges people for things they don’t want to be judged for.

Example:

“I wish society wouldn’t judge me for not wanting to have children and not wanting to be a housewife.” [Proceeds to judge people who want to have children and want to be a housewife]

“Not everyone wants to be rich in life, we all have different definitions of success that should be respected.” [Doesn’t respect people who want to be rich in life, automatically think these people are greedy sell-outs]

Impact: This is hypocrisy. It also comes off as illogical and presumptuous when people’s intents and motivations are automatically filled in by you. Some people buy sports cars because they actually have a passion for driving– they’re not necessarily materialistic. Some people seek high-paying careers at the expense of personal passions because they have obligations and goals they’d like to reach– they’re not necessarily greedy. Some people like traditional gender roles in relationships because that’s their personal choice– they’re not necessarily oppressed and/or close-minded. 

Solution: Accept that “conformity” in behavior, goals, aspirations, appearance, etc. doesn’t equate to misery and/or lack of authenticity.

High Ne (ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP): The Whiplash*

Summary: Chronic quitting and the inability to commit due to impatience and lack of discipline.

*Whiplash: noun. a neck injury due to forceful, rapid back-and-forth movement of the neck, like the cracking of a whip.

Example:

“I’m going to do A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J … Z!” [Does none of it]

“Let’s do this. Let’s do that. Let’s go back to doing this. Let’s go back to doing that.”

“I want to have six-pack abs! I’m going to be SHREDDED.” [Exercises and eats well for one day then goes back to bad habits the next day]

Impact: People stop taking you seriously because you can’t execute on your promises, it dilutes the weight of your words and it corrodes respect (ex: “Yeah, uh-huh, sure you will, buddy.”). No one is immediately an expert at something the first try– seeds take time to grow and you’re no exception to this rule. Developing expertise and skills require time, commitment, and consistency. Results don’t happen overnight.

Solution: Underpromise and overdeliver– don’t overpromise and underdeliver.

High Ni (INTJ, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ): The Nutcracker

Summary: Hits people below the belt using knowledge those people shared against them.

Example:

Someone is insecure about their weight, you insult their weight.

Someone is insecure about their skin color, you make a comment about their skin color.

Someone tells you a secret, you expose it.

Impact: People won’t confide in you for fear you’ll use what they told you against them. This creates barriers to having close and meaningful friendships because people will view and treat you like a ticking time bomb they can’t let their guard down around. Understand that certain topics and comebacks are off-limits no matter how you feel about the person at the moment; certain words and actions have a lasting impact on your relationships. Memories fade but scars last.

Solution: The nuclear option should be your last resort, never your first.

High Se (ESTP, ESFP, ISTP, ISFP): The Blindfire*

Summary: Leaps before they look.

*Blindfire: noun. The term referring to the act of operating a firearm without looking at what one is shooting at.

Example:

Winging it, all the time.

“Go go go go go!”

Google Search: “Donald+Trump”

Impact: Your lack of foresight and lack of planning will set you back even further from your goals because immediate rewards and instant gratification often only provide short-term benefits that rarely last. There’s a proverb that’s applicable here: “measure twice, cut once” which means that investing time and energy up front to do it correctly the first time will save a ton of time, money, energy, and grief later down the line.

Solution: Stop, drop, and roll think if the path you’re on actually leads to where you want to go.

High Si (ISTJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ): The Helicopter

Summary: Micromanaging, nitpicking people to death.

Example:

“Write the email but let me review and edit before you send it.”

“What are you doing right now? Where are you going? When are you coming back?”

“I noticed when you loaded the dishwasher you put the spoons and forks in before the pots and pans, you should put the pots and pans in before the spoons and forks.”

Impact: Half the internet is writing posts complaining about you, the other half is writing posts complaining about having to read all the posts complaining about you. Micromanagement saps people of confidence and motivation, it also increases the chance that the bad thing you’re trying to prevent will actually happen. Additionally, you’ll feel paranoid and anxious that something will go disastrously wrong if you’re gone which results in burnout because you’ll always need to be there to keep an eye on things. This is counterproductive for everyone involved.

Solution: Choose your battles wisely– focus on the “what” (the goal) and not the “how” (the method).

#mbti #intp #infp #entp #enfp #infj #enfj #intj #entj #istj #estj #isfj #esfj #istp #estp #isfp #esfp #mbtiq #faq #mine #myers briggs #problematic behaviors