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#I realize this is also bc I haven’t eaten much today

th-inprogress · 1 year

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Tw mensuration; I really am feeling the immediate universal consequences of not letting go of things that do not serve me currently tbh. And also the immense and simultaneous rewards of doing that. to elaborate, I started my period today in the middle of the day today at work. I usually start early in the morning and it’s kind of pissing me off that it’s been abnormal lately. anyway, not the point. I woke up feeling totally fine, no mood impact, no cramps. Usually I can feel it coming. I’ll get cramps well before it arrives. But today, I didn’t start cramping until maybe a couple hours before I went to the bathroom and realized I was bleeding. And even then they were more like slight discomforts than cramps. And the pain didn’t get extremely bad until several hours later. And I didn’t have my medicine with me bc I wasn’t expecting it. Not a huge deal, though. I always have tampons, and it wasn’t long til the end of the day. I talked my after work plans into cancelling. Less talked and more just, brought the idea into existence by asking if they wanted to postpone til next week, and they said yes because it was a long week for them as well. I was still going to go if they wanted but I brought the possibility to light. I have such an abnormally socially busy week this week, it was relieving to be able to let go of that. Even though I could have pushed through and gone and enjoyed the experience and time with someone I love, it feels good today to be able to make peace with my choosing not to. I went home and took a long bath with some cramp relieving Epsom salts and took some medicine and read, and cleaned up and did some laundry and the dishes. I feel so at peace. I haven’t felt so peaceful in so long. I’m looking forward to my plans this weekend but I’m glad I got an extra moment to recharge and renew myself so I can enjoy things more. On the other hand, I’m hanging on to something that draws energy from me, that I don’t really need, and that would probably improve my life in a drastic measure if I could let go of it. From a logical standpoint, I guess my life could also worsen dramatically if I let go of it too, but I feel strongly that the first would be my perception. I guess it’s a trade off of sorts. It’s a job. A strenuous, time consuming, stressful job. Although the stress isn’t much of why I want to leave it. I love the work. But the time is eaten away. And I am physically worsened in some ways because of it ( hands and nails are in bad shape because of the nature of the job ). My mental health suffers from it. Especially if I am already tired, sometimes it is hard to want to be there. I just have so many other things to do I feel it’s a waste of time, and sometimes it feels as though no one else there wants to be there either and I’m doing all the work. Or I’m in such a poor mood I do the work horribly. There’s always some issue. In another sense, it helps my mental health. I like most of the people I work with, and I like my customers and I love coffee and it feels like a second home to me after all these years. I’ve met some of my favorite people. I’ve made so much progress on myself. It’s become part of my identity and it’d be tragic to lose that. I’m also kept busy by it. In a physical sense, I stay active by working in fast paced environments. Sure I could trade some of this time out for the gym, in order to stay fit, but I’d be bored to shreds and I hate working out just to do it. I like to have more purpose in my activity. Which is another reason this job is so good for me. The time I could be spending somewhere else is possibly capable of being wasted. And at least here I get paid. The thing is do I think I’m in a space where I will use the extra time to improve myself in a way that makes the extra income not worth it. Of course I know I don’t inherently need the extra income, it certainly doesn’t hurt. I could have a big emergency at any time. I’m not immune to the random and unfortunate way of life. I’m fighting an ingrained characteristic of paranoia. The other foot is always about to drop.

It feels impossible to let go of the sense that I’m better off suffering from exhaustion than living. It’s hard for me to have the mentality of “who cares if you make a lot of money if you never spend it” in the sense of money and in time. I never have time to spend. I work so hard but I barely have time to enjoy life. I do enjoy the parts of it I have, but I just imagine I could enjoy more and do more with more energy and time, and yet. I fear that I wouldn’t. I would waste my time, and my energy would remain low, and instead of being able to say, oh I’m just tired because I work a lot, I would have no excuse. I would simply be miserable and poor. And it’s hard to know what the truth is.

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turnleftaticela · 1 year

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Long complainy post not a big deal just long

Sometimes I feel alienated by those “Get up early and go for a walk the work is worth it” posts bc I’m like “Ok it’s not that simple like trust me I would if I could but I don’t have much time in a day bc I can’t sleep in my bedroom bc my mysterious unsolved congestion problems make it impossible to sleep in there so I have to sleep in the living room but my sister gets up at 7 for school and sprays this perfume that wakes me up & prevents me from falling back asleep so I have to go to bed early but my mom doesn’t go to bed until like 12 or 1 if I’m lucky so I can’t sleep any earlier than that bc she’s always milling around & it’s impossible to fall asleep and also sometimes she puts the dishwasher on before bed which also has a smell that keeps me awake so sometimes I can’t sleep till an hour or so after she does and it also sometimes just takes me a long time to fall asleep bc I have to get tired enough to bypass the breathing thing but ANYWAY when I go for a walk it means there’s allergens all over my clothes and when I come in the house I have to be careful where I sit down and shower or change clothes (which often means I have to do laundry first) bc otherwise I’ll get pollen n shit on the couch which will make me not able to sleep and so by the time I’m done taking care of everything and also eaten and dealt with my other health issues I don’t feel like talking about then the day is almost over and I have to figure out how I’m going to be able to get to sleep in time for me to not be dead tomorrow and I haven’t even done anything I wanted to do yet today. So sometimes I’d rather just skip the walk and stay inside sorry”

Then I realize they’re probably talking about people whose only barrier to walking is depression and not. this shit

#Sigh lol #post #Maybe I should put a sheet on the couch but I don’t want to take over the living room #I guess I’ll have to have that conversation

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bokutoslittlebird · 4 years

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Threesome with Bokuto Kōtarō and Akaashi Keiji

Alpha!Bokuto x Beta!Reader x Beta!Akaashi

Warnings: Omegaverse, double penetration, dubcon, creampies, some BokuAka action (bc those are my babies), this is long

Summary: After presenting as a Beta, your mother decided being friends with an Alpha wasn’t good for him. After moving, you befriended another Beta, Akaashi Keiji. After years of not getting over your childhood crush, you never expected to see him again as your best friend’s mate. Akaashi can’t take care of Bokuto through his entire rut, so he lets Bokuto have some fun. There’s a lot of catching up to do between you two, anyways.

— 5 years old, [Y/N]

“You need to stop hanging around that boy, [Y/N],” your mother had said to you one evening. You had looked at her confused, wondering what Kōtarō had to do with your homework. She continued, ignoring the look on your face. “He’s presented as an Alpha. You need to stop hanging around him.”

“That doesn’t matter, mommy. He’s my friend,” you had said, not quite understanding. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“[Y/N], listen to me. He doesn’t want to be with someone like you. Stop hanging out with him.” At the time, you didn’t understand what your mother was saying. You thought that she had thought your friend didn’t want you as a friend. You’d prove her wrong when you finished your homework.

You had finished the work and immediately went to yours and Kōtarō’s spot, seeing the familiar spiked up hair on the young boy. His frown was unusual, though. “Kō-chan?”

“My mom said we can’t hang out anymore,”

— present day

You woke to the alarm from your phone, the rhythmic beat of the song shooing away the traces of sleep. Your eyes fall to the calendar across your room, seeing you had to work today. With a promise of a hot bath and a treat of ramen after your shift, you are able to get out of bed and get ready to start the day.

Your work shift was simple, just taking orders and making coffee for customers, occasionally bringing treats to customers at the tables. It was normal, right down to when your friend walked in. “Keiji!”

“[Y/N],” he smiled, not having the same enthusiasm but enough to satisfy you. You had met Keiji after you moved, shortly after Kōtarō ended his friendship with you. Keiji had presented as a Beta, just like you, so yours and his mother encouraged playdates and study sessions at each other’s house, hoping a relationship would bloom. “The usual, please,”

“You sure? The season specialty is here! I know you like pumpkin,” your smile turned into a smirk, knowing you had got him when his eyes widened. The season specials were ready to serve, but nobody had switched the menus up.

“Hm, I think I’ll go with the pumpkin latte for today,” he finally said, after weighing his options. You smiled and put in the order, knowing exactly how to work his buttons. “I’ll have to let my boyfriend know,”

“Oh?” That was new information. A week ago, Keiji said he was going to die single because everyone’s an idiot. Now he’s got a lover? “Do tell,”

“He’s an Alpha, but his parents don’t care. Don’t tell mom. She thinks you’re my soulmate, still,”

You guffawed at that, shaking your head at the memory. You remembered when you got older when Keiji’s mom had started giving you lessons in cooking and sewing, typical ‘wife’ things. Keiji smiled at your dramatic scene of laughing, knowing it was how you were.

“Wait till she finds out you’re mated to someone else,”

“I prefer to term courting to mate, since I’m plain and boring. He’s anything but, honestly,”

“Perfect match for you, Kei-chan,” you winked, seeing Keiji’s cheeks turn a bit pink at the inside joke. You laughed again, finishing up the last details on the latte.

“He reminds me a bit of you, actually. But without control or a filter,”

“Maybe I am your soulmate, you just don’t like me,”

“Haha, very funny,” he replied, walking off with a little wave. You wiggle your fingers, waving goodbye to him. After watching your friend leave, your shoulders sag a bit, remembering the young boy with white-and-black hair. Back then, you wouldn’t call it a crush. More of an admiration for the boy with no fears and a clear future. With more experience under your belt, you could admit it was a crush. The boy had stolen your heart and crushed it the last time you saw him.

You clean up the counter as the clock ticks, slowly telling you your shift is coming to a close. You feel like you want to cry, but you don’t know why.

The next day, your phone dings with a text message from Keiji, surprised he would shoot a text. He usually called unless he was busy in a meeting or something. Your eyes glance at the screen, trying to finish your essay for one of your classes. The message doesn’t strike you as immediately needing attention, so you ignore it, focusing on the paragraph you’re typing out.

Another ding takes your attention away from the screen completely, knowing Keiji really needed your attention.

[Keiji ❤️ - 12:17 pm]

- Can you bring some fruits to my apartment? I forgot to get some at the store. I’m busy.

[Keiji ❤️ - 12:18 pm]

- please im hungry

The last message startles you, seeing as Keiji always punctuated his texts because, well, he was like that. You quickly typed a reply and made sure to save your document before heading to your kitchen.

[Sweetcheeks😘 - 12:22 pm]

- I’ll be there asap Kei

— 5 years old, Kōtarō Bokuto

“Kōtarō, I need to talk to you,” his mom had said. He looked up at her, a paper hat on his head, a smile on his face. “You need to stop hanging out with [Y/N] so much, baby,”

“Why? Did we do something bad?” He frowned, not understanding. What did he do?

“No, baby, not this time,” she laughed, smiling down at him. Her smile was not full of love and joy, it was sad. “Her mother doesn’t want you two hanging out so much. She said they’ll be moving soon, so I don’t want you to be hurt anymore than you already will be.”

Kōtarō didn’t smile for the rest of the day. After he told his friend they couldn’t hang out anymore, his mother held him in her arms while he cried. It wasn’t fair.

— present day

Kōtarō had been sent home early, with his rut steadily approaching and his fights with Atsumu and Shūgo getting more intense. His ride home was full of anxiety, knowing Keiji couldn’t quite handle ruts very well since he was a Beta. Omegas were meant to handle Alpha ruts all the way through, but Keiji could only handle half of the rut. The last time Kōtarō’s cycle had started, Keiji had to come to where he was, huddled up in an apartment. Keiji couldn’t walk two days after the rut ended, even though he dealt with three out of seven days of the rut.

Kōtarō’s arrival to Keiji’s apartment was slow. His instincts told him to run, but he was able to restrain himself. Keiji opened the door almost immediately after the knock, wrapping his boyfriend in a hug. “I’ve missed you,”

“I’ve missed you, too, Akaashi,” Kōtarō said, indulging in the coffee and minty scent from Keiji, although there was a bit of pumpkin, too. He involuntary let out a growl.

“I had a pumpkin latte earlier,” Keiji immediately said, expecting Kōtarō’s reaction. Instincts came first the closer he got to his rut, Keiji had learned. He could feel the Alpha deflate a bit in his hold, just hugging and scenting. Keiji smiled at that, knowing he would be in for a rough week. “I made a nest. It’s not as good as an Omega’s-“

“You didn’t have to do that,” Kōtarō’s voice was clear and sharp, halting anything Keiji was saying. “You’re not an Omega. You don’t have to act like one,”

“I-I know, Bokuto-san,” Keiji stuttered out, the look in his boyfriend’s eyes startling him a bit. It was intense, but it wasn’t necessarily bad, per se. “I just-“

“I’m not here right now because of your sub-gender. I’m here for you,” Kōtarō’s voice was once again clear and sharp, going right into Keiji’s bones. He’s sure if he was an Omega, he’d be kneeling and begging. For fuck’s sake, he’d have probably entered a heat cycle.

“I know, Bokuto-san. I know,” Keiji leaned against him, reveling in his smell. He couldn’t scent Kōtarō or smell a distinct scent, but Kōtarō obviously came straight to the apartment after practice. He smelled like sweat and deodorant, a strangely pleasant combination.

Kōtarō let out a growl as he felt his rut come on, his hands moving towards Keiji’s ass. In turn, Keiji blushed and cleared his throat, backing up from Kōtarō. He smiled and held up a finger. Kōtarō grinned, straightening his posture. Keiji smiled and ran towards the bedroom, knowing his Alpha was hot on his heels.

The following day, the two lovers were still going at it. Keiji hardly had any rest, only getting his rest once Kōtarō needed to rest, even if Kōtarō claimed he passed out after their third round. A small tease and a mischievous grin had sent Keiji back to being railed by a feral Alpha, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Keiji threw his head into the pillows, drool spilling from his lips and he moaned, having his third orgasm of the day from Kōtarō’s forceful thrusts. On the other hand Kōtarō had only orgasmed once, knotting Keiji and spurring the Beta into a second orgasm almost right after the first. The thrusts didn’t cease, Kōtarō chasing his own release in his mate was the only thought in his mind.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Keiji,” he groaned out, plugging him up with another knot, his orgasm following it. Keiji’s eyes rolled back, digging his nails into Kōtarō’s biceps at the sensation. It stung and was a lot more pain than pleasure, but he couldn’t complain too much.

Kōtarō finished painting Keiji’s walls white, resting his forehead against the man underneath him and catching his breath. Keiji gave him a swift peck on the lips, assuring him he was okay. However, Keiji’s stomach growled at that moment, sending heat to his cheeks.

“I haven’t eaten today,” he realized, talking out loud. Kōtarō may have been an Alpha in a rut, but he was also an Alpha with a mate. Mates needed to be protected and cared for, so his instincts told him he needed to feed his mate. Kōtarō’s eyes immediately went wide. “Don’t move!”

“Ah— sorry! I always forget,” he laughed, adjusting their position so he could lay on his side. Keiji just shook his head, smiling. Kōtarō was a wonderful mate, truly, he just happened to be overly passionate about things he cared for.

Keiji thought to you, how you’d probably enjoy having an Alpha to take care of you. Keiji knew you often overworked yourself and forced yourself to do things, trying to be as independent as possible. He couldn’t be your mate, but he’s had a thought that ends in all sides benefitting - hopefully, at least.

Kōtarō moaned as he slipped from Keiji’s abused hole, the knot finally deflating. “I’ll get you a snack.”

“I have leftovers in the fridge. Bottom left drawer,” he mumbled back, wincing from moving too much. Kōtarō immediately nodded, jogging off to the kitchen, butt-naked. Keiji couldn’t say much. He enjoyed the view.

He winced as he rolled over to his phone, glad he put it on the charger near the Nest yesterday before he got pounded into the mattress. He opened the messages, typing out a quick message for you and sending. He hoped his plan would work out well, but he had faith his calculations were correct.

Hearing the microwave beep meant the food was ready and Keiji still hadn’t gotten a response from you. He typed out another message, hoping you’d actually read this one and put his phone on the floor, face down. Just in time, too, as Kōtarō walked into the bedroom with a freshly heated plate of food.

“Food’s ready!”

— back to you

You had gathered some fruits together, slicing and dicing them as an added flair. Sliced bananas, strawberries, diced watermelon, mangoes, and sliced avocados on slices of bread and cream cheese. You felt like an American middle-aged woman about to attend a brunch with your food choices, but Keiji liked specific fruits specific ways and you knew he only ate avocados on bread with cream cheese.

The ride to Keiji’s apartment only took five minutes, but it felt like it took an hour, your anxiety eating you up at the thought of what Keiji is doing or needs help with. You assumed he needed help with something, but you weren’t positive on what. It could just be as simple as he can’t leave home because his anxiety was too high or it could be something worse — what if his mom got in an accident? The thoughts didn’t stop, making the five minutes much, much longer.

Arriving to Keiji’s apartment, you noticed how dead it seemed outside. You saw a woman on the way up the stairs who gasped as she left her apartment, quickly locking the door and running down the stairs, almost running into you. Confused, you noticed the lights seemed to be off in the other apartments, but that wasn’t too strange. It was a Saturday, but it was midday so people were probably out.

You had a spare key for Keiji’s place, seeing as you often checked up on him; he had a spare for your place, too. Entering the apartment, it was deathly quiet, putting you on edge. There was a certain air about the room that made you feel like you were in a horror movie. As you made your way to the kitchen, you noticed the messily placed dishes in the sink, the shirt in the hallway leading to Keiji’s bedroom, and the duffel bag beside the door. You’re confused. Keiji doesn’t have a duffel bag — not since the old one ripped a couple of years ago.

You ponder whether to go into Keiji’s bedroom or not, worried someone might’ve broken in —that shirt is definitely not his. That’s when you feel a presence. At first, you freeze, wondering if Keiji’s playing a trick on you. It is October after all. You place the container of fruits on the counter and hear a growl, immediately turning around to meet golden eyes and familiar hair.

His eyes were narrowed, obviously pissed, but then his face changed. He seemed confused first, then a dawning came upon him. Next thing you know, you’re picked up and having the life squeezed out of you. “[Y/N]!”

“Kō?” Your tiny voice whispers. You can hardly believe it. Your ex-best friend and childhood crush is in your best friend’s apart— uh oh. “Uh oh,”

“What-Oh?” His voice repeats, looking at you. The Alpha of your dreams is the Alpha of Keiji’s dreams—what a day it’s been. “[Y/N]?”

“I should, um, can you let me down?” He obliged, letting you stand on your feet again. “I need to, um, go. Uh, Keiji wanted fruits so I, uh, brought them. I’m gonna go,” you turned, hoping to tears would stay in until you left. You weren’t expecting Kōtarō to cage you in, effectively trapping you. As a Beta, you didn’t immediately obey an Alpha’s command, but the look in his eyes told you to stay. You obeyed.

“Don’t go. Please,” is all he said, his eyes twinkling. You shook your head, deciding this was a bad idea. “[Y/N].”

“You don’t get to act like nothing happened, Bokuto-san. You stopped being friends with me, remember? I expected you to be breeding an Omega by now. Looks like it was just me,” you spat, feeling the anger you held in boil over. The feeling of your best friend leaving you because of your sub-gender, the feeling of betrayal, remembering how your mother sighed at you and rolled her eyes, telling you she was always right and your friend would never look your way again.

“What?” He peered down at you, no longer hunching over. You realized just how tall he had gotten. “I stopped being friends because you were leaving. You being a Beta had nothing to do with it,”

“Sure, I guess now it doesn’t. Since, you know, you’re with my new best friend. It’s okay, I get it,” you once again tried to leave, but Kōtarō wouldn’t budge. “Move, Bokuto-san.”

“No.” His voice was clear and sharp. You were sure if you were an Omega, you’d be on your knees crying. “I don’t want it to end like this. I want to make amends.” Good thing you weren’t an Omega.

“Well, I don’t care what you want. Let me go,” your own eyes narrowed at him, his face not changing. His body unmoving. You rolled your eyes, deciding to not play this game anymore. Going to duck under Kōtarō’s arm, but his body moved to pin you to the counter. “Dude!”

“You smell different.” Is all the warning you got before you felt his nose in your neck. You felt butterflies at the contact, but also cringed at the display. You then noticed a shadow in the hallway. Attempting to pry Kōtarō off you wasn’t working, so Keiji got to see his boyfriend hunched over you.

“Good, you seem to be getting along again,” he said, a gentle and lazy smile on his face. Surprisingly, Kōtarō didn’t turn around at his mate’s voice, just kept rubbing his nose against you. “I hope you can take care of him,”

“Akaashi Keiji, what the fuck,” you muttered. He didn’t seem concerned his boyfriend was currently nuzzling against you. You noticed the limp in Keiji’s walk and he had one of his hands on the wall.

“I’ve been keeping track of your cycle. You should be ovulating by now. Bokuto-san has told me about his childhood friend before and it took me a while but I figured out it was you,” Keiji kept talking, limping his way to the couch. “I’ll get the fruits later. Bokuto-san, don’t hurt her too much,”

“Hurt me?” You squeaked, eyes widening at the implication. “Keiji, I can’t—“ you started, a scream interrupting your sentence as Kōtarō picked you up and hauled you to the bedroom. He displayed his strength earlier, of course, but the fact you were were on your back in what looked similar to an Omega’s Nest within seconds of the ground leaving your feet was a display that turned you on immensely. If Kōtarō wasn’t currently attempting to strip you, he would have been with the sickly sweet scent you exuded.

“I’ve been waiting for this,” he growls out, his hands deciding to rip your very nice shirt into shreds, deciding your movements to get them off were too slow. He offered the same treatment to your bra, your short scream of disbelief when it was torn. He was nice enough to pull off the pants you were wearing, along with your panties. “Ever since my first rut,” he continues, his nose buried against your thighs, his tongue licking a hot stripe against it. You whined at the contact, full on knowing he could smell your arousal. “I thought I’d never find you again.”

“Boku-“

“No. Not here. Call me your Alpha, little Beta,”

“Uh-“ you stopped, unsure of the situation. Kōtarō, regardless of your feelings, was with Keiji. That alone made you hesitant, even if Keiji literally told Kōtarō to go for it. You felt weird having to call him your Alpha anyways, since you were never subjected to those Alpha/Omega relationships. You can’t say you weren’t interested in it, often just having fun with other Betas and maybe an Alpha or two during their ruts (you vividly remember helping an attractive Alpha in your last year at Nekoma, rendering you unable to walk for the next two days). Neither of them called you by your sub-gender, nor made you call them Alpha. You obviously hesitated, taking a trip down memory lane much too long, since Kōtarō’s hand had wrapped itself around your jaw, forcing you to look at him. You didn’t think your old childhood friend would be so.. rough.

“I’m waiting, little one. Call me your Alpha,” he growled out, again. The growling was doing wonders to you, making you wetter by the second. Another growl came out, spurring you to speak.

“I- Alpha, we can’t do this. We need to talk-“

“You can try to talk, but I’m gonna fill you to the brim until my cum is seeping out of your cunt. Let’s see how well you do.” Kōtarō immediately went down to your nether regions, your folds glistening to show him just how turned on you were. Your face was hot, practically burning when his eyes locked on, unmoving from the sight. He wasn’t looking long, getting a startled scream from you as he buried his face between your legs, lapping at your juices. Your hand went to his hair, the hair as soft as you had hoped, as he continued to drink from your pussy as if it was his last drink on earth. Your other hand was bunching up a nearby shirt, one you had left at Keiji’s two days ago after a night of drinks. If you weren’t so busy rolling your eyes into your skull as your mouth hung open, moans spilling from your lips, you’d have noticed the mix of yours and Keiji’s clothes in the Nest.

Kōtarō continued to be relentless, pushing two fingers into your heat as you were clenching your thighs around his head. You were worried you’d hurt him, but he was an Alpha in every shape and form — if he wanted to stop you, he’d do it. He knows he’s in control. Adding a third finger brought you to your first orgasm of the day, feeling exhausted afterwards. Kōtarō rose from between your legs, his eyes immediately finding your glossy ones. He smiled and licked his lips. Then, wiping the slick from his lower face with his hand to get the excess that his tongue couldn’t get and then licking it off, his eyes never breaking contact.

“So sweet, I’m already addicted,” his grin got darker, his body crawling up until his hands were on both sides of your head and his lips were slotted against yours. His tongue darted between his lips, into your already open mouth, deepening the kiss. You were so in bliss from the after-orgasm high and kissing your crush, you didn’t even feel the head of Kōtarō’s cock pushing into you.

Kōtarō threw his head back, moaning at the tight fit. You mewled, it being some time since someone entered you, the feeling almost foreign. It didn’t hurt, thankfully, the wetness Kōtarō created more than enough to help him slide in. He didn’t stop, he just kept pushing in until the beginning of his knot was flush against you. Another growl erupted from Kōtarō, the only warning you got before he pulled out only to slam back in. The sudden movement had your back arching and your head against the plush pillows of the Nest. It was the green light for Kōtarō.

Your knees were pushed to your shoulders, the position momentarily uncomfortable until your mind was replaced with the burning and overwhelming sensation of Kōtarō pounding into you liked a man starved. Moans were bouncing off the walls, along with Kōtarō’s grunts, mixed with the sound of skin slapping skin as his thighs continuously met your ass. Your hands switched from fisting fabric to winding around Kōtarō’s neck as he buried his face into your neck, his panting and grunts loud in your ears. You felt the coming of another orgasm, the familiar tightening in your abdomen and the arching of your back being a few indicators. Your nails raked against Kōtarō’s back, leaving angry red streaks in their place. Another grunt from Kōtarō and you felt a painful sensation you hadn’t felt before — a knot. The added pain before the height of your pleasure sent you over the edge, mewling out Kōtarō’s name as you did.

Kōtarō had you plugged up, him spilling his seed into your hot walls. You whined at the feeling of fullness. He sighed at the feeling himself, indulging in your scent. You figured now was as good as you’re going to get to talk. “Um, Kōt-“

“Alpha.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes. “Alpha, um, this is an awkward time, I suppose, but can we talk about, like, us?”

“We don’t need to, but we can,” he looked at you, moving his position so you guys were on your sides. More comfortable for each other. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“Okay, um, the Alpha thing is weird, but I’ll let it slide since obviously you’re in a rut. Obviously Keiji isn’t an Omega, so he can’t take you throughout the entire rut. Um, I don’t wanna be your booty call for ruts, this whole situation is so fucking weird-!”

“You’re not the ‘booty call’, as you said. Akaashi mentioned he had a surprise for me, but I didn’t think he’d offer me you. After this, I hope he lets me court you, too. So I can be your Alpha, too.”

“Kō- Alpha, we’re no longer friends because you’re an Alpha. That’s why you broke off our friendship so long ago, isn’t that right? You deserved an Omega, which I am not, but you found Keiji and that is fine. I am not a part of this.”

“I don’t care about sub-genders. That’s why I’m with Akaashi. I stopped being friends because you were moving. It hurt a lot to end things, but I didn’t know what else to do. That was Mom’s advice, at least.”

You were confused. Your mother said it was because he cared about sub-genders, but now he’s saying it was because of the move? Your friendship ended before moving, yes, but it was almost a month before moving. You could have stayed friends, anyways. Did your mother lie to you? Did his feelings change? “My- My mother said you needed an Omega so I-“

“She was wrong. She’s the one who set you up with Akaashi, yeah? She didn’t even care what my family thought about us. That’s in the past, we can move past it.”

“All these years...” you muttered, feeling the tears from before coming back. The knowledge that your own mother forced your friendship to end made you angry, but everything was fine now. Kōtarō was your friend again. At least, you thought he was. “I don’t know if I want a relationship, though,”

“Too bad,” he grunted, his cock leaving you feeling empty. A whine was all you needed to do to have yourself pinned under Kōtarō again, his cock filling you up again. “I’ve been dreaming of this for so long, as if I’ll let you leave so easily.”

Kōtarō continued his relentless pounding into you, the constant fucking rendering your lower area numb. Eventually, your world went black after a— what was it, 6th orgasm? Kōtarō’s second knot was the only thing you remembered before you tuned out completely. The grunting, whines, moans, all of it faded into silence. While you had passed out, Kōtarō panicked, thinking he went overboard. Keiji’s words echoed in his mind: “Don’t hurt her too much.” Was this too much?

Kōtarō, stuck inside you because of his knot, called for Keiji to help him. Of course, Keiji came as fast as he could (not very fast, poor man is still recovering) to see Kōtarō, who is close to tears, above your blissed, fucked, and passed out form. He sighs, shaking his head. “Bokuto-san, I think you went too hard,”

“Akaashi...” he whined, his strong arms curling around you. Even passed out, your body reacted, curling into him as you softly moaned. “Akaashi...”

“It’s okay, she’ll be fine. Her body isn’t used to it. At least, not yet.” A moan from Kōtarō let Keiji know his knot had deflated, him pulling out of your cunt and the copious amounts of cum he filled you with spilling out. It made even Keiji aroused, seeing it seeping out of you. Kōtarō knew he was aroused at the sight and came upon a solution.

“Akaashi! Maybe we...”

Waking up was next thing you remember. You felt so, so full, like you were plugged up in both ends. As you flutter your eyes open. You expected to see your ceiling, having woken up from intense dream or something. You maybe even hoped to see Kōtarō grinning down at you, sweat dripping down his face and his chest. You did not, however, expect to see Keiji smiling down at you, gently caressing your face. “Kei?”

“Hey there, pretty baby. How are you feeling?” The nickname threw you off — Keiji never called you a nickname. He was very formal, even saying your last name until only recently. You obviously showed confusion, or maybe you hesitated, because a rumble was felt behind you, a familiar voice following.

“She’s probably feeling pretty stuffed, Akaashi. Stuffed full inside and out, I hope,” Kōtarō’s voice said. You turned your head, hissing at the pain in your neck, to see Kōtarō grinning at you, just like you hoped. However, wasn’t Keiji resting?

“I should thank you for the fruit. It was delicious and cut up so cutely and delicately. I was getting a bit jealous to hear Kōtarō having so much fun with you. I was hoping to have my own fun with you when he rested after his rut, but he was kind enough to share. Isn’t that nice? I don’t think I can get you pregnant, but I want to try. We’d have such cute babies together, you know?”

“I was hoping she’d carry my pups first, but you can pump her full next time. We have all the time in the world, after all.”

“Excuse me? Wait, wait!” You shouted, suddenly realizing the whole ‘filling you up’ speech wasn’t just an Alpha’s instincts — it was their intention to impregnate you. “I can’t have kids! I’m in school and-“

“I can provide for both of my mates, right Keiji?” Kōtarō said, his eyes holding nothing but love as he gazed at Keiji. It made your heart squeeze at the love between them. Keiji smiled and nodded, deciding at that time to roll his hips. You threw your head back and mewled, sensitive from the consecutive orgasms previously.

“I’m glad you’re still sensitive. There’s no evidence to back it up, but I heard the more orgasms a woman has, the more likely it is she’ll get pregnant. Of course, Omegas have a fertile cycle, but you’re a Beta, so I had to track your cycle for about three months. I hope it was enough.”

“Three months?! Akaashi Kei- oh!” You screamed, feeling Kōtarō move. He was filling up your back entrance, adding to the fullness. Also, it explained why you were on his chest.

“I also need to cut out your caffeine, that’s a bad habit you need to cut out anyways. No more nights of drinking while binge-eating. Your body needs to be in peak condition if it’s going to carry our offspring,”

“I can’t wait till you’re all swollen and wobbling. It’ll be so cute. And then we’ll do it again. And again. And I don’t know if I wanna stop, babe!” Kōtarō laughed, thrusting his hips up, making you jerk at the feeling.

“Maybe we can stop after five. We’ll need a bigger house, too,” Keiji continued, rolling his hips in rhythm to Kōtarō’s thrusts. You closed your eyes, one hand fisting Kōtarō’s hair while the other gripped Keiji’s shoulder, hoping to ground yourself. “You’ll look so beautiful when you’re pregnant. This is what our families want, after all. You’ll bear my children and Kōtarō also gets what he wants in the end. He gets his own offspring. This all works out,” he grunted, snapping his hips after almost pulling all the way out. “In the end, at least.”

If you could form a coherent sentence, you’d tell them to stop, but the only thing on your mind was how stuffed you were. Keiji was thrusting into your puffy, abused cunt that was overflowing with Kōtarō’s cum, rolling his hips every so often to increase pleasure. Kōtarō’s grunts were heightening your arousal and sending you hurling towards another orgasm. Your eyes rolled, your tongue sticking out as you clenched around Keiji, sending him towards an orgasm of his own. A curse and a stutter of his hips and he was spilling his own seed into you. He knew his genes wouldn’t take, not when you’d been pumped by Kōtarō multiple times. He had looked for the chances between a Beta and Alpha genes in a Beta, but he only got Omegas, which were made to take Alpha seed and breed easily. A small part of him wanted to try and overpower Kōtarō, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to compare to the amount you’ve already taken.

Kōtarō was still going, his strong, warm hands holding your knees to your chest, keeping you spread open, as he thrusted up into you. He knew Keiji had finished, the face he was sporting a familiar scene to the Alpha, so Kōtarō was chasing his own high. A high-pitched whine from you as Keiji rolled his hips again, earning a growl from Kōtarō in return. You pant as your hand leaves Keiji’s shoulder, ghosting over your sensitive clit as you attempt to close your thighs, overly sensitive from all the rounds you’ve been forced to go through. Keiji saw your hand brush over it, taking his own hand to replace yours and apply pressure onto the nub, rubbing it.

A scream was ripped from your throat, another orgasm around Keiji’s cock as Kōtarō buried himself, shoving his knot in your tight hole. You were twitching at the extra feeling of fullness, the hot spurts of cum in your ass and the oozing cum from your cunt, even if Keiji was plugging you up. A sigh escaped your lips, your eyes rolling back as he attempted to catch your breath. Kōtarō brought a hand to fondle your breast, earning another whine for him.

“I could get used to this,”

“So could I. Good thing we’ll get to see much more of it,”

You normally would have told them no, attempting to push Keiji off and out of you, but you just sighed, trying to kiss Kōtarō. He smiled and obliged, licking your lips before kissing you, enjoying the taste of you. Keiji smiled at the scene, bringing his mouth to your perky nipple from Kōtarō’s earlier fondling, biting gently on it. You mewled, shifting your legs up Keiji’s hips and he moved in deeper. Kōtarō growled, his hand rubbing the red and swollen nub between your legs. You wouldn’t normally let this continue, but you could hardly think.

If you could think properly, you might have noticed the bags of clothes you don’t remember bringing to Keiji’s. You might have seen the handcuffs nearby. You might have seen the extra lock on the bedroom door, so out of place. You normally would have been able to think properly, but the only thing you could think of was being stuffed with Keiji’s and Kōtarō’s thick cocks, filling you up to the brim.

Sequel -> The Perfect Family [tw includes dubcon/noncon, use of the word r*pe, water torture/attempted drowning, gunplay, pregnancy, blood, abuse (mentally and physically), bit of watersports]

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wowtobio · 4 years

Text

Cheater! Yandere! Iwaizumi x reader (pt.2)

──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ────

a/n: everyone wanted a part 2 so here we are :) and i wanted to put a slight twist to it bcs i always wanted to write yandere but my inbox never pops up with it haha

warning: slight yandere tendencies: stalking, unhealthy obsessions, violence, mentions of kidnapping, cursing

Part 1 | Part 2

How long has it been since the last time you were clad in his arms? Too long he thinks to himself as Iwaizumi scrolls through your timeline, taking in every detail of each photo.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Every scroll, every tap from his fingertips left behind a tingling sensation that felt wrong.

Yet, he still continued.

There is a huge gap in where you didn’t post, of course your now ex-husband noticed. He also noticed when you blocked him on every social media. No problem, he just made a new, fake account.

He ignores the text messages from his new “love interest” and just takes in your features.

You seemed happier, your skin healthier, the way you dressed it was cuter than ever, and the way you smiled. Iwaizumi has never seen you smile that big before. Maybe during your wedding days that seem so distant from today.

He misses it.

Iwaizumi knew when he lost you, that look on your face always broke him. He knew what he did, yet here he was.

It’s pathetic really, how coldly he treated you before indulging in another behind your back. He told himself he was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve the angel you were.

So why did he find himself following you around? He seemed to never ignore your name when it pops up on his phone screen.

That nagging feeling he felt that clawed at his gut, he could never ignore it and he gave in. He told himself it was fine. He was merely checking up on you. Making sure you were happy. Happy without him.

The same voice that told him it was fine, was absent when he started to follow you to your new job, to the grocery store, to your new boyfriends house.

It was simple really, Iwaizumi knew you like the back of his hand. It didn’t take him that long to find your new apartment complex.

He feels sickly overjoyed upon seeing your figure unlock the doors. He couldn’t help but snap a pic. Just one is fine.

It escalated to two, then three, now he stopped counting.

He would follow you everywhere. If he found you at the shopping mall hand in hand with your new found lover, his blood would boil. Why? Maybe it was the fact that you belonged to him yet you had the audacity to go out with someone who wasn’t even worthy of being within your presence.

Iwaizumi couldn’t help himself. It didn’t make sense, he didn’t love you anymore. He fell out of it awhile ago he was sure of it.

Yet, the moment you slipped from his grasp he felt lost for a bit. His senses came crashing back after you left him alone in your once shared apartment.

He realized he still loved you.

What a miracle! But perhaps it may be too late.

His best friend knew this, but the deed has been done. It’s better to move on to someone new, Oikawa’s advice fall upon deaf ears.

Being Trashykawa, his attempt to hook him up seemed to succeed. Only because Iwaizumi felt it was best to suck it up and go with it. But it really made his state worst.

His temper would worsen everyday. He just couldn’t help this anger that kept bubbling up deep inside him. He would of course take it out on inanimate objects with no one nearby. He couldn’t let anyone see this side of him. See him breaking. Only staring at your photos afterwards could calm him down and convince him that he did this all for good reason. That it’s okay. Not until his new lover would interrupt everything yet again. His thoughts would go rampant.

Besides she was pretty, not as pretty as (Y/n) though. Wait no no no, I can’t think that. But this bitch is useless to me. Well, she can actually be quite useful if considering... no it won’t work. (Y/n)‘a over me. So I must discard this worthless piece of-

“Iwa-kun? Are you okay? You’ve been ignoring me for the past hour”

Clenched fists, he continues to sit in the dark staring at his barely lit screen. His presumed new lover staggers forward in a weird, new sense of dread.

“You haven’t eaten in a few days either, what’s going on? Please Iwa”

Her pleas go unnoticed. Iwaizumi’s clenching onto his phone in a fashion where it may break. His breathing goes ragged and he trembles ever so slightly. A gentle hand placed on his shoulder.

“C-come on Hajime, talk to m-“

A sudden strike to her doll face resonated a loud echo followed by the thud of her now limp body. Iwaizumi’s cold eyes don’t even spare a glance at the damage and he continues to stare at the images he has of you in such an inappropriate state.

He only then takes his eyes off his device to spare a few words to the poor women sobbing on the wooden floors.

“You are not allowed to call me that.”

He carelessly steps over her figure, grabbing his hoodie with a new goal set in mind. Leaving her behind in his apartment, in the same way you left him. But it’s fine! He knows how to forgive and forget. Soon it’ll all be okay again.

He repeats this mantra over and over again until he magically appears in front of your house. His aimless wandering really did wonders, he tells himself has he perfectly punches in the code to your locked door. As if he’s done it a million times before.

It was perfect, the way his senses just filled up with you the moment he step foot into your apartment. It was plain, with a few cute collectibles here and there. Iwaizumi smiled it was quite adorable. It reminded him of you.

And there you were, typing up some documents for that job you have gotten recently. He smiles lightly knowing how hard and how much you wanted this job. To you it was a new start. Where you could re-do everything over and live a healthier, happier life.

Iwaizumi almost chucked aloud at that thought.

Upon standing up to walk to the kitchen for a small break and snack, you couldn’t help but feel a dangerous aura resonating in your confined space.

You tried to ignore the feeling, maybe you were just tired? Yeah it’s been a long day. You felt like you have been followed for the past few weeks. It was silly really, feeling eyes boring into your back only to turn around and found it was nothing.

Maybe you were going crazy, haha you laughed a bit. Everything’s fine.

Not until you felt strong arms wrap around your torso, pulling you close to a chest. The intruders arms held you in a way you couldn’t escape his strong grasp, a hand covering your mouth so that no noise would peep through.

Panic surged through your veins and as you started to kick and squirm, a handkerchief with an intoxicating scent almost immediately knocked you out cold.

Before darkness enveloped you, you rolled your head and eyes back and made eye contact with your intruder. Confusion washes over. Those eyes.

It was those same eyes. The same eyes that used to look at you lovingly every shared morning. The same eyes that held worry behind them whenever you would act recklessly. The same eyes that held that empty hollow towards the end of everything.

Now those eyes, they had a new crazed look in them. One you’ve never seen before from him.

All Hajime did was frown upon seeing your collapsed form in his arms. This is wrong he knows it.

But, it felt right. Especially when he started to hug you tighter to him, this was where you belonged, in his arms. Burying the crook of his nose into the crook of your neck and taking in your scent.

You used to love it when he did that, so it’s fine right?

──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ────

masterlist

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #hajime iwaizumi #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu #iwaizumi #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru #yandere #yandere iwaizumi #haikyuu angst #haikyuu yandere #anime

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pabosontheloose · 3 years

Text

Work For You (Baekhyun)

WC: 3.0k

TW: None? Neglect?

“Baby?” Baekhyun’s loud, cheerful voice rang throughout the apartment, the sound being followed by his shoes clunking on the floor as he took them off.

“I’m in the kitchen!” you called back, one hand still stirring the hot milk inside the pot while the other was turning off the heat. From behind, Baekhyun came up and wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his chest against your back. Immediately, his cologne filled the atmosphere, easing your shoulders as he planted a light kiss on your cheek.

“Hey Cutie, whatcha makin’?” he asked into your ear, eyes peering down at the pot that had steam emitting from it.

“Some hot chocolate, I figured you’d want some after a long day. Go sit.” you asked, to grab the two cups that were on the counter. You can hear the little claps of his hands behind you as he moved to sit on at the table. Unbeknownst to you as you were carefully pouring hot milk into two mugs, he was sitting with his cheek resting on his palm, eyes hooded and lips pulled into a smile that he couldn’t stop if he tried.

He was silently observing you move around. His heart was pounding in his ears as he watched you simply place the pan into the sink and grab two spoons from the rack. When you turned around, he grinned and reached out to grab one of the two mugs in your hands so you can settle down on the chair next to him.

“How was the studio?” you asked. Your legs came up to cross themselves under the table, carefully blowing on your beverage to cool it down. He went to stir the chocolate in his cup before looking at you.

“We’re planning on recording a new solo album. We sampled a few sounds today. At some point Chanyeol came in to help out. My ass is so sore from sitting all day.” he whined a little, lips pulled out into a small pout before he carefully took a sip.

“Oh a new album? That’s so exciting! What’s it about?” you asked, leaning in. He made a motion of zipping his lips and locking it with a smile, shaking his head.

“I can’t leak that information baby, tsk tsk, you should know better than that. Let’s go cuddle on the couch.” he went to stand up and followed you to the living room where the two of you turned on the TV and set it onto a random show. Although neither of you were paying any attention as little kisses were stolen from time to time during the conversations that were had.

_______________

From: Baek the loml 💓

- Baby do u think u can bring some lunch to the studio today?

- Manager is having all of us stay late today

- And i wanna see your pretty face before it gets dark outside 😍

From: You

- You’re just using me for my incredibly amazing cooking at this point 🙄

- But sure

- What do u want to eat?

- Also im bringing u a salad

- Bc whenever u prepare for a new album u keep saying u need to stay in shape for the performances

From: Baek the loml 💓

- Anything would be fine

- No cucumbers in the salad tho pls

- AND NO

- im not dating u bc of your cooking

- Its bc of your 🍑

- 😜

From: You

- extra cucumbers in the salad got it

- see you in a little bit!

When you arrived at the building, security allowed you to go in and the receptionist directed you to the room that Baekhyun was working in. When you arrive at the door, you can faintly hear the music lulling in the room. The rhythm of it was soothing and you were just tempted to open the door and listen but you knew he was excited for this album, so your knuckles came up to the door and knocked.

Immediately, the music was turned off and you can hear someone getting up and rushing to the door.

Baekhyun’s face lit up once he saw you and urged you into the room, giving your cheek a lingering peck. You greeted his manager who was sitting on the couch going through some of the music sheets. He got up and greeted you back then headed towards the door, saying he needed to go talk to someone regarding the tune of the song and lyrics.

You settled the bag onto his desk as the two of you sat down. He immediately went to grab the utensils before chowing down.

He, as he said, came home late that night but you didn’t mind. He did let you know about it anyway, so you were able to sleep soundly knowing he was working hard for his fans.

Several days after that were just the same. He was held back until around the same time as last night, but you had nothing to worry, he sent you a message to let you know. When he came home, he answered your conversation pieces with little hums here and there to let you know he was listening, but you knew he was tired. The shine in his eyes wasn't as bright as before. So, you found a way to fizzle out the conversation by saying you were going to brush your teeth for the night. When you came out of the bathroom, he was already knocked out on the bed. It was endearing to see him curled up, one arm stretched out to where your side was. You carefully slid next to him and could feel his hand grab onto your side as tightly as it could in its subconscious state.

This cycle continued until the “I’m going to be home late” messages stopped altogether. You just went about your day working and then cleaning the apartment before shooting him a couple of messages asking if he wanted you to bring anything so he stays healthy. He responded to the ones he could and then it was just you for the rest of the evening. No message from him about when he was able to come home.

This continued onto the next day.

And the next.

At some point, your inbox was just a string of messages from you, and a few responses here and there. But it didn’t discourage you from worrying about him. The way the door of the apartment opened later later during the night, the way he’d silently peck your cheek before moving onto the shared bed and immediately falling asleep, the way the bags under his eyes slowly got more and more prominent; Noticing all of that, and more, made you uneasy. Your brain was throwing up signals to talk to him, reach out to his members, anything to make sure that he was eating well and taking breaks.

Your messages were always read by him, but never replied to. The meals you left in the microwave for him stayed untouched and on better days they were eaten but not entirely.

This is okay, he’s going to be okay, just a few more weeks until he finalizes the album. Just a few more weeks until he’s able to come home early. Just a few more weeks until he can be in your arms again. You deal with this even if it’s difficult because you care for him so much.

You tried to ignore the loud silence of the apartment with him being gone for so long. Even the noise from the TV didn’t block out how alone you feel. You’re staring at it but the show isn’t registering, too deep in your thoughts, too tired yet unable to fall asleep until you know he’s home safe.

________________

Yes, you realized that he hadn’t invited you to the building, but after several weeks of not letting you know if he’s okay or if he’s been taking care of himself, you had to see for yourself. You’ve had enough of feeling his back against your own during the few hours of sleep he got when he came home, enough of sleepily watching his figure leave the apartment in the early mornings.

And it was a good day today; your design was chosen at the company you work for which was going to take your position to a new step. Also you were the 100th customer at a new coffee shop close to the apartment, so they gave you an extra cup of coffee and pastry on the house. You wanted to share the news with Baekhyun, so why not drop in to see him.

“(Y/n), what are you doing here?” was the first question that left his mouth when he saw you, eyes widening a little bit to make sure he was seeing right. His hair was all messy (you suspected from running his hair through it while trying to figure something out with the songs and schedule but you didn’t comment on it) and he looked a bit irritated. Your head tilted to the side in question as he looked over your form standing in front of him.

“I just wanted to drop by to see if you were okay. We haven’t had some time for ourselves in a while, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” you gave him a smile. One that would usually have him melting just at the sight of it.

But he didn’t melt. Not today at least. All he could think of was that the song had to come out perfectly and your presence here was at such an inconvenient time.

“(Y/n) we haven’t had time because I’ve been busy. I’ve told you this. I can’t make a mistake on this song, okay? Please go home, I’ll be back later.” he tried to brush you off and went to shut the door but you stopped it with your elbow, causing him to look back at you.

“What time?” you questioned, keeping your voice leveled. You weren’t mad at him, but a little bit in disbelief. Here you were trying to make sure he was okay, (clearly he wasn’t since he looked exhausted as hell) and he was trying to push you away.

“What?”

“What time will you be home?”

“God, I don’t know (Y/n). Late. Please don’t wait up for me.” he sighed, scratching his temple in frustration. The action causes you to sigh too before finding the words to speak up.

“I just wanted to make sure this album wasn’t destroying your health.” you mumbled, your words not coming out as strong as you had hoped it would. He narrowed his eyes at how you phrased your sentence.

“No. The album has to be great. It has to be up to my standards. And right now, it’s still missing something. I was just about to figure it out until you interrupted. Please go home. We can talk about this later.” he replied. You let out another hard sigh before lifting your hands and giving him the coffee and pastry that you got.

“Here. I got a free order earlier and I wanted you to eat something since it didn’t seem like you were eating much at home. I’ll see you later.” you grumbled as he took the food. When he did, you quickly turned around and headed towards the elevator. Just before the doors closed, you could see him still standing at the door, staring at you, as if something clicked in his head.

You didn’t see him attempt to take a step towards the elevator too but his manager called him back into the room to finalize the lyrics. As he sat down, he opened the paper bag to see his favorite little pastry cake, and noted on the details of the cup that you got his order just right.

It was as if something knocked him on the head for him to finally understand the position he left you in for the past several weeks. He finally got a clear look in the mirror to see how dark the bags on his eyes had gotten and how his hands slightly shook when he set an alarm for 6PM on his phone under the note “Go home to my Baby”. That day he ordered a good meal during lunch, ate it all, and the thought of coming home to you gave him the drive to complete the lyrics before he was rushing to get to his car at 5:45.

Even if he knew he was in trouble, he still found the shocked look on your face amusing (and really cute but that’s for another day when you’re not passively mad at him) when he came through the door an hour later, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand while the other carried a bag of take-out.

“Okay, I’m not home as late as I said I was going to be, but, I got us food.” he held up the bag, and with a smile, “And this, for you.” he held out the bouquet. You got off the couch to grab the flowers to place in a vase as he sets the bag down onto the coffee table.

The silence radiation off of you made him nervously chuckle.

“Good news, I finally nailed the song. It’s at Baekhyun standards now. Now we only have to worry about the scheduling for after it’s released but that shouldn’t be a problem.” he tried to cool you off with a few laughs here and there but when you gave nothing back, he started to worry.

“Baby?” he began, “I’m sorry for pushing you away earlier. I realized I was an asshole the moment that elevator door closed.”

“Baekhyun, that’s not the point. The point is that you got so far into your work that you start to neglect everything around you and yourself.” you finally let out after all the weeks of keeping it in for the sake of his work. He silently stared at you, the look in his eyes made you want to engulf him in the tightest hug but you held yourself strong.

“I love you but it was just so hard to see you work yourself so much for this particular album.” you sighed. You don’t notice it but the corner of his lips slightly curled up into a smile as your sentence reminded him of why he worked so hard.

“I haven’t seen you tire yourself out so much before and I was truly scared that you might pass out from the lack of sleep. What makes it so different from the other albums? It’s going to turn out so great because it’s you who made it and your amazing fans will give it the recognition it deserves and why are you smiling when I’m trying to be serious?” you asked him, voice exasperated from trying to keep your thoughts straight but seeing that smile on his face brought back the warmth within yourself.

“(Y/n), I was gonna keep it a surprise for when the album releases, but now is a good time too…” he started off, grabbing your hands and immediately intertwining with your fingers as a way to start his apology. Your eyes looked up into his in anticipation, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

“I dedicated the new album to you.” the little grin that graced his face after he said that made your heart drop.

“What?” you managed to work out, feeling mist start over your eyes as you waited for him to confirm his sentence.

“The new album that I’ve been working on...it’s dedicated to you. I’m really sorry I haven’t been giving you the attention and love you deserved. I was too focused on trying to make the song perfect so that you’d love it. But in the process of trying to make you feel appreciated through a song, I forgot to appreciate you in real life.” his voice slowly died down towards the end of his sentence. He was going to continue but before he could you launched yourself at him and buried your face in the crook of his neck. The little sniffles he heard was enough to let him know that he was forgiven and he quickly wrapped his arms around your frame, holding you closer than before.

“I’m sorry I got upset, I-”

“No baby, you don’t have to apologize at all. You’ve been trying to take care of me all this time and I took that for granted. From this point on, I’m going to give back to you as much as you give to me.” he was planting kisses on your forehead as he spoke, making sure you understood him as he spoke softly to you.

Sometime during this intimate moment, he had brought the two of you to settle down on the couch. He held you by your waist on his lap, your thighs on either side of his while you were still hugging him with your face to his chest.

“Since we’re here now, is there anything I can do to make it up to you, Love?” he asked once you pulled away to look at him. One of his pretty hands came up to caress your flushed cheek, resting his thumb there for a second longer, further adding onto the intimate moment you two were in.

“Can I hear the song?” you asked, eyes batting in hope that he’d give you a small version of it but he only chuckled, the other hand squeezing your side as he shook his head.

“Oh baby…of all the things in this world that I can give you, the song is the one you’ll have to wait for.”

[MASTERLIST]

#baekhyun #baekhyun scenario #exo #exo scenario #exo imagine #baekhyun imagine #byun baekhyun imagine #baekhyun x reader #exo angst fluff #baekhyun angst fluff #EXO baekhyun angst fluff #exo baekhyun

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korissideblog · 3 years

Text

[sings a really emotional song about how much I love @you-may-call-me-meme ’s sillie little catboy that ends with a sick guitar solo after which I smash the guitar into a million little pieces bc my love and adoration for this little guy is so powerful] anywho! This fic has Konekomaru and Jiji in it <3 (and also Aito, obviously <3)

Konekomaru was walking to his dorm, trying to remember if their next math test was tomorrow or the day after, when he heard footsteps coming down the hall. He looked up to see Takao-kun barreling around a corner, seemingly recognizing Konekomaru, and running towards him at top speed.

“Konekomaru!!!” Takao-kun yelled, running down the hall and waving frantically. Konekomaru held his hands up to show that she had his attention when…

It… it felt like a breath of fresh air, seeing Takao-kun, even if he… couldn’t exactly see her, per se.

But that wasn’t what he was focused on right now. Right now all Konekomaru could recognize is the sharp smell of the air, like early morning on a winter’s day, crisp and fresh and cold, but pleasant as you tugged your big fluffy coat impossibly tighter. It wasn’t till Konekomaru saw Takao-chan adjust her bangs that he realized why he was feeling so nice.

“Takao-chan?” Konekomaru mumbled, still feeling a bit confused. “Did you… like was that-“

“My charm? Yes.” He responded quickly, but distantly, as if he had a million other things on his mind besides this conversation. “It was an important question! And I didn’t want you to lie.” She huffed, poorly justifying the use of her quirk.

“What was the question?” Konekomaru asked, noticing how upset Takao-chan was and wanting to help.

“It’s Jiji!” Takao-chan whined, her hands covering her face as she continued to worry. “He hasn’t eaten all day! I don’t know what to do!” Her hands lowered just a bit, letting her see Konekomaru from behind her bangs “I wanted to see if you could talk to cats- but- you said you couldn’t- and-“

Konekomaru was well aware of Aito Takao’s reputation, and knew that this was likely a trick or the beginning of some kind of prank but… he’s never seen Takao-chan so upset before, and he just couldn’t help the feeling of pity as she explained herself. He just needed help, and didn’t know how to ask- and either way! Takao-kun’s cat was in need! Konekomaru couldn’t just ignore this, even if it was a prank.

“I can still help, Takao-chan.” He offered, Takao-chan immediately perked up and nodded his head.

“Yes! Please!” Takao-chan grabbed Konekomaru’s hand and dragged him across the dorms and down two flights of stairs, somehow never losing steam as he crashed into his dorm room.

“Mama’s here sweetness!” Takao-kun cooed, immediately falling to her stomach next to her mattress, her kitten lost in a sea of pillows and stuffed animals. “Konekomaru’s here too! He said he’s gonna help you!” She continued, letting Jiji sniff her hand so he knew where she was. Konekomaru was still catching his breath by the doorway when Takao-kun waved him over, Jiji barely moving from his spot, curled up on a pillow with a sad look on his face. “He’s been like this all day, I don’t know what’s wrong!”

Konekomaru kneeled by the mattress and let Jiji sniff his hand. When the kitten buried his head back into the pillow under him instead of his usual begging for attention, Konekomaru knew something was up.

“Ok… did you or Jiji do anything differently today?” He asked, carefully petting the black kitten’s forehead.

“Ah- no? I don’t think… Um-“ Takao-kun wracked her brain as He watched Jiji lazily accept Konekomaru’s pets with a weak meow. “Oh! I was napping with Ikuto and I made him feed Jiji for me! Normally I do it though!” He said, pointing to the kitten’s food bowl, still full of kibble.

Konekomaru stood up and grabbed the bowl, emptying it into the nearby bag of food and handing it to Takao-kun. “Try it again, make sure he knows that you’re the one getting the food.”

Takao-kun immediately followed Konekomaru’s directions, snapping a bit before filling the bowl up again. “Hey Jiji! I’m sure you’re hungry, you want some food?” He asked carefully, making sure to put the bowl back exactly from the place Konekomaru had grabbed it from.

Jiji stood up lazily from his spot, but made his way over to the food and, after sniffing both it and Takao-kin’s hand, happily started eating.

Konekomaru was going to explain that cats were very schedule oriented animals, and any change in their environment would have them pretending to be sick till it was fixed, but before he could even open his mouth, he was tackled by Takao-chan.

“Konekomaru!” He shouted, not for the first time today, nearly crushing Konekomaru’s ribcage in a vice-like hug. “I was so scared!!! But you were right!” He giggled, roughing up Konekomaru’s hair as he thanked him. “I’m so smart for coming to you, you're the greatest!” He cheered, finally letting go and returning to Jiji’s side as the kitten ate hungrily. Jiji lifted his head as Takao-chan sat next to him, and bumped his head into her hand, before immediately turning and running up to Konekomaru, crashing into his ankle before looking up to him and meowing annoyingly. Yep, he was back to normal.

Konekomaru laughed as he sat down as well, lifting the kitten into his arms and scratching his ear. “Such a picky little guy, I’m glad I could help!” But… it seemed to have gone right over Takao-kun’s head.

“I haven’t slept since this morning, I was too nervous.” He admitted, laying across Konekomaru’s lap- something he’s seen Takao-chan do to a bunch of other people, but a new experience for himself. Before he could finish his half baked explanation, Takao-kun had already fallen asleep, leaving Konekomaru essentially trapped on the floor with a kitten in his arms.

Well, he decided as Jiji also yawned and curled up in his arms, there were worse ways to spend an afternoon…

#Short fic this time <3 #Didn’t even break 1000 words but I <3 I still kinda like it <3 #Konekomaru my beloved i adore you besty I’m <33333 #This little catboy has clawed his way into my brain and He Won’t Leave #And I don’t want him to <3 #aito takao #bnha oc comeback #knha // kimi no hero academia #konekomaru yoshino

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mono-dot-jpeg · 4 years

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dynamite - b. katsuki

summary; life is sweet as honey, or maybe they’re as sweet as caramel!

genre; fluff, comedy, soft bakugou, best friend! mina, fluff moments w/ bakugou, tsundere! bakugou is what i live for, 3rd year! bakugou

pairing; bakugou katsuki x reader

word count; 2.8k (if you count the lyrics)

a/n: tbh the song doesn’t really fit the theme but the song is cute and i wanted to use it in a fanfic at some point. this is my longest written one shot i think [._.]

ALSO IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! LET’S FUCKIN GO, GAMERS

the song is “dynamite” by BTS, if you haven’t listened to it, please do, it slaps. i didn’t do the entire song bc im too lazy and that’s too long to write ksdjfksdjf i have a limit :monkaW:

‘Cause I, I, I’m in the stars tonight

So watch me bring the fire and set the night alight

You were one of the energetic people in class. You had got along with everyone except the explosive blonde that was Bakugou. You hung out with Mina the most which was how you got initiated into the Bakusquad. With your Quirk, Boombox, it seemed almost perfect that you were in the Bakusquad. You converted sound into explosions though there were drawbacks (that you didn’t wanna get into) of course.

Your classmates wondered if you had known Bakugou before you joined UA. On the first day, you challenged the male after you found out about his Quirk. Of course he had accepted the challenge and during Quirk Assessment, he had won. Ever since you had become another rival for him, but at least it was more of a healthy rivalry compared to him vs Midoriya (but I mean that rivalry got better overtime).

Thought there were several times where it seemed to be more than a friendly rivalry.

Shoes on, get up in the morn’

Cup of milk, let’s rock and roll

King Kong, kick the drum

Rolling on like a Rolling Stone

It was another normal day for you, except you were going to train with your Quirk. Music was blasting in your headphones as you mutter the lyrics, small explosions popping on your hands.

Before you could leave, Bakugou stopped you. “Oi, dumbass.” You looked up at him, sending him a smile. “You going to train?” You nodded at the male.

“Mhm! You wanna come with? I wanna practice working with my quirk! Let me practice with you!” You said eagerly.

“Ugh, you’re like an annoying puppy, you dumbass. I shouldn’t be inviting you to your own practice.” He rolled his eyes. “Of course, I’m coming with you.” He bonked your head before you rubbed the spot he had hit.

“Hey! You’re like an angry Pomeranian! You’re not any different from me! Come on! Let’s go! I’ll beat you this time!” You said, starting to pull him by the arm as he quickly protested to the physical contact but made no move to tug his arm away.

“Like you’ll beat me. I’m still gonna win.” He scoffed. “And who you callin’ Pomeranian?! You fuckin’ dumbass!” You smiled at him in reply as you btoh made your way to the training areas in UA.

“Can I play some music?” He grumbles as you take it as a sign of agreement. You smile brightly, playing your favorite music. You were experimenting if you had to be the one to make the sound of if you could use sound from other sources. You had always assumed that you had you make the sound yourself.

And so the training started. Within seconds, the sound of explosions and yells ringed in the room. Neither of you went easy on each other. It almost felt like a match in the UA Sports Festival. You and Bakugou never went against each other during it due to the fact you lost when you went against Tokoyami. You couldn’t use anything to fight against Dark Shadow well enough.

As the fight between you and Bakugou continued, you had used your quirk with the loud beat of the music. So, I can use my quirk with music! You had thought. Soon the fight ended with Bakugou winning, much to your disappointment. “I almost got you there!” You said as Bakugou sees the determined glint in your eyes, ready to go against him once again.

He chuckled, moving his hand on the top of your head and started to ruffle your hair which earned your surprise. It wasn’t until he playfully shoved you, yelling at you, “Come on! You weren’t even close, dumbass!” You swore you saw pink on his face, maybe it was from the heat in the room (from the fight) but you weren’t sure…

Sing song when I'm walking home

Jump up to the top, LeBron

It was a day off in the dorms. You had been in your room all day pretty much. This was usually normal behavior as you played video games in your free time when you weren't studying or gaming. But more often than not, you forgot that you had to care of yourself during off days. Kirishima had went out with the rest of the Bakusquad, leaving you and Bakugou in the dorms with whoever else was there.

You were ending a comp game with some friends who you often six-stacked with. “Yeah, I’ll see you guys later.” They left the group, leaving you to play a few quick play games. You were still in queue until loud knocks echoed in your room, effectively shocking you. “Who is it?” You asked, after getting over your shock.

“Open up idiot!” Bakugou said. You feel like if he bashed any harder on your door, it might just break. You stop the queue and open the door, revealing the blonde male. “How long have you been in your room? You look like shit.”

“Well...how honest do I have to be to answer your question?” The answer you gave him was enough as he soon put you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “W-what are you doing?!”

Ding-dong, call me on my phone

Ice tea and a game of ping pong

“You haven’t eaten have you?”

“W-well, do small snacks count?”

“No, you fucking idiot.” He took you to the kitchen, putting you down onto a seat as you huffed at him, “Actually fucking eat a meal!”

“Aw, you care about me!”

“W-what? SHUT UP DUMBASS! IF YOU WANNA BEAT ME, DO IT WHEN YOU’RE AT YOUR BEST!” You nodded, laughing a bit at his reaction. He had made some curry with rice, handing a plate over to you while he grumbled about you not eating all day and staying in your room.

“I’ll still beat you! No matter what!” You smiled before you ate. You had realized that this was one of the few times that Bakugou did this on the weekends. “But still, thanks for worrying about me!”

“Shut up! I wasn’t worrying!” His face was red. You wondered if it was from the anger or something else.

This is getting heavy, can you hear the bass boom? I'm ready (Woo-hoo)

Life is sweet as honey, yeah, this beat cha-ching like money, huh

You were at the mall with the Bakusquad (Bakugou included of course). You and Mina were gossiping and talking most of the time. You had suggested to go to the arcade but Mina insisted on dressing you up in some cute clothes before you did. But maybe Mina just wanted to buy clothes for herself as well. You didn’t mind catering to your best friend for a while.

The boys of the squad didn’t go off too far from you and Mina as they decided to go into a video game store for a bit while you and Mina indulged yourself in the cute clothes.

“You’ll look great in it, y/n! Trust me!” Mina encouraged. You smiled nervously at the female before moving into the changing rooms to change. Unknown to you, a certain blonde had been glancing over at you from the video game store window.

“It’s pretty cute!” You stepped out and Bakugou almost choked on air. The waistband of the skirt hugged your waist comfortably as the black graphic tee was loosely tucked in. Now if you were someone else, Bakugou probably would’ve called you some dumb shit like a basic e-girl or something like that. But you pulled it off.

“You need to buy it!” Now, Bakugou couldn’t hear you from how far the stores were. Mina took this chance. “I think Bakugou likes it.” Mina glanced over to the video game store, tilting her head to gesture you to look at Bakugou. You glanced over for a second, locking eyes with the male as you feel your face heat up.

Disco overload, I'm into that, I'm good to go

I'm diamond, you know I glow up

Hey, so let's go

You did buy the outfit. And you made your way to the boys. You couldn’t muster up too much courage, suddenly hyper aware about the blonde’s actions. You all eventually arrived at the arcade, your hyper awareness wiped away as you saw the DDR machines.

“Hey Mina! Let’s go! You think you could beat me this time?” You joked as you accidentally bumped shoulders with Bakugou, trying to call out to Mina. Mina was too busy with Kiri and Sero, making you pout. “Damn, meanie. Hey Bakugou?” You dragged out his name, earning a huff from him.

“I don’t dance.”

“Well, it’s not really dancing! Are you scared that I’m gonna beat you?” You can feel his competitiveness flare up at the question.

“No way in hell am I scared!” He grabbed your wrist, dragging you to one of the DDR machines. “I’ll beat you, dumbass!” You laughed as you let him drag you.

“Okay!” You stood on the colorful arrows as you picked a song. “I’ll win against you, Bakugou! This is my main game!” You said, fully confident in your skills. He ‘tched’ before the song started. As the song went on, Bakugou seemed to care less about winning and more about the bright smile on your face.

'Cause I, I, I'm in the stars tonight

So watch me bring the fire and set the night alight (Hey)

Shining through the city with a little funk and soul

So I'ma light it up like dynamite, woah-oh-oh

You weren’t one to have bad days but today just really seemed like a bad day. Hero training was more draining than usual, one of your friends from general studies seemed to be avoiding you for some reason, and you got in trouble with Aizawa today. Nothing could be worse. It was a stressful day and you weren’t happy at all.

The whole Bakusquad seemed to notice this. “Hey Bakugou, you should go talk to y/n!” Kiri suggested as the squad watched you do house work as per the punishment Aizawa had granted you with.

Bring a friend, join the crowd

Whoever wanna come along

“Why me?!”

“Well, you and y/n seem really close. Plus I’m scared that they might just snap at me. They’ve been having a bad day lately. Maybe you could help them out.”

“Aren’t you guys their friends?!”

“Just go do it, bro!” Kiri encouraged, pushing the blonde towards you.

Bakugou went up to you. “Hey, dumbass, let’s, uh, talk after you’re done with cleaning. Meet me at my room, idiot.” He spat out at you. He seemed oddly nervous. He hated that feeling. How you made him feel like that like it was nothing. You looked at Bakugou, confused for a moment before nodding.

You arrived at the door to his room, knocking softly on it. “What did you wanna talk about, Bakugou?” Before you could react, you were pulled into his room and right into his arms. Your face was forced to rest on his shoulder as you can feel his warmth radiating on you.

Word up, talk the talk

Just move like we Off The Wall

“Y-you looked fuckin’ stressed today. You don’t need to tell me what’s wrong. You can let it out.” There was just something about his words that started to make you cry. You could feel your stress leave you as Bakugou stays silent, comforting you without words. After you finished crying, he starts to speak again, “I’m not good with words, you know this, but I’m, uh, here for you. But don’t get any ideas, dumbass!”

You looked up at him, seeing pink dusted on his face. You start to giggle. “Why are you laughing, idiot!?” He asked as you start to laugh more, your Quirk accidentally activating as it make little sparks in the air.

“You’re-you’re just really cute!” You said honestly with that bright smile of yours. Bakugou can feel blood rush up to his cheeks.

“I’M NOT CUTE!” The blonde growled, making you laugh more. Eventually, he got over his anger. “Don’t call me cute!” But he was glad that you were happier now after you finished crying. He didn’t know if it was the sparks from your Quirk or the light from his room but you seemed to shine brighter than the sun when you smiled.

Day or night the sky's alight

So we dance to the break of dawn

You fumbled with your outfit as Mina continued to do your makeup. It was a special night. Prom night. You, of course, were going with the Bakusquad. You sort of wished Bakugou asked you out but he would never really do something like that.

“Are you sure I look good?” You asked Mina.

“You look great! I’m sure Bakugou will like it!” She teased, sending a red flush to your cheeks. You stood up, dusting yourself off. “Ahh! You look so amazing! All the boys and girls will want ya!” You laughed at Mina’s words, tucking some of your hair back.

You and Mina soon gathered with the others in the living room. Once you entered the room, Bakugou was pretty sure he lost his breath at the sight of you. You were so damn beautiful.

Ladies and gentlemen, I got the medicine

So you should keep ya eyes on the ball, huh

This is getting heavy

Can you hear the bass boom? I'm ready (woo hoo)

“Hey guys! You ready?” You asked, walking over to the squad with Mina having an arm wrapped around your own. You looked at Bakugou and how shocked he was, you simply smiled as you looked up at the male. He can feel blood rush to his face, soon turning away to cover his face.

You all chatted for a while until you arrived at UA. They had (conveniently) set up a ballroom like room for all the 3rd year students. It was pretty loud and crowded. It felt a fairy tale if you were being honest. It was such a magical feeling though. You loved it.

Though you didn’t join Mina and the others on the floor to dance, you were perfectly content with seeing everyone enjoy themselves as you stood on the sidelines.

“So, why are you with the damn idiots dancing?” Bakugou’s voice pierces right through your thoughts.

“I like to see them enjoy themselves. Plus I can’t dance unless I’m playing DDR.” You joked with a small smile as you sipped on your drink.

“You think they care if you’re good at dancing, look at Pikachu and his dumbass.” Bakugou slightly gestured to said male who was terribly dancing, making you laugh a bit.

“Well, why aren’t you dancing?”

Because I wanted to just look at you.. is what he wanted to say but didn’t. “You think I dance?”

“Maybe your mom taught you a thing or two.” You teased slightly. “I would pay to see you dance.”

Life is sweet as honey

Yeah, this beat cha-ching like money

“Then dance with me.” You looked at him, your e/c eyes glinted with surprise. “Pay to see me dance by dancing with me.” It felt everything slowed down for a moment and slowly faded. It felt like it was just you and Bakugou. Your heart is beating loudly with the music as Bakugou offers you his hand. “Come on idiot, I’m not gonna wait forever.” You can see the smirk on his face but it’s so teasing and his crimson eyes are glinted with confidence and playfulness.

Disco overload, I'm into that, I'm good to go

I'm diamond, you know I glow up

You take his hand. He leads you onto the dance floor, the rest of squad cheering you guys on. It takes you a bit but you start to get into it as much as Bakugou does. Everyone in your class and the other 3rd year classes are joining you but it only feels like it’s just you and Bakugou.

Both of you seem to be in sync with each other and it’s like the song playing was only made for you two.

Let's go

'Cause I-I-I'm in the stars tonight

So watch me bring the fire and set the night alight (hey)

The song soon starts to end and your hands are intertwined with his as you’re only looking at each other. You can smell burnt caramel as he tugs you closer to his chest. It’s like everything stopped when you both stand there while the song is getting closer to the end. Before you both knew it, your lips are connecting with his.

Shining through the city with a little funk and soul

So I'ma light it up like dynamite!

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astralsweetness · 4 years

Text

Set my soul on fire (make me wild) || Hui/Reader (M)

➣ I was originally going to write a LOT more smut (I had so much planned that I never got to!!! ugh).. Maybe I’ll have to do a part 2 or something 👀 the amount of time i spent looking at pics of his studio just so that one scene would be accurate is insane Title from the song ‘Queen of Disaster’. Very briefly proof-read, so please feel free to inform me of typos!

➣ Hui/Reader | Hui drunkenly kisses the reader without explicit consent but owns up to it bcs I’m tired of every other fic that includes this trope just glossing over it | Smut warnings include: masturbation, fingering, hair-pulling (implied), biting (mostly implied), oral + snowballing, slight pain/masochism (implied), some humiliation/degradation + some praise, referenced submissive headspace, and all of them apply to Hui lmao. Also it’s mentioned that Hui isn’t strictly heterosexual and if that bothers you then idk what to tell you

➣ “He is hanging off your every word and you suddenly feel like you have a choice to make - it’s one you don’t think about for more than a second, because you realize that you don’t need to.”

Hui knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that you had completely ruined his life just by existing in it.

It wasn’t a bad thing, necessarily. The feeling he got whenever you smiled at him, for example, was definitely not a bad thing. The way his skin tingled whenever you brushed against him was.. bothersome, but not a bad thing. The way his heart sped up and beat almost painfully hard whenever he indulged in his regular skinship with you wasn’t particularly bad, but he’d stopped doing that recently just as a preservation strategy so he didn’t die in the next year from a heart attack. (He was a naturally touchy person, and he wasn’t completely sure how he felt at having to stop that with you specifically.)

The way his mind constantly drifted to thoughts of you was starting to become an issue though, as was how he tensed up whenever you got even moderately close to him. You’d started to notice, and he had no idea how to tell you that it was happening because of that one time the rest of the boys had ‘accidentally’ forced the two of you to be pressed against one another in an elevator, and that just the knowledge that your breasts were pressing against his arm had him fighting to not get hard like some sort of teenager. He wasn’t totally sure how successful he’d be the next time if something similar happened.

Still, you were, as far as he was concerned, completely unattainable, and that in itself was a problem. He’d experienced his fair share of heartaches and heartbreaks before, but this was.. different. At least in those circumstances he’d gotten a definitive answer.

With you though, he couldn’t even bring himself to ask, had resigned himself to pining over you like a kid with a crush.

If you hadn’t ruined his life then you sure as hell had made it harder.

.｡..｡.

When Hui gets a knock on his studio door around six pm he’s not particularly surprised – lately his members had taken to dropping in to make sure he had eaten something that day. (Usually he had not.)

He is surprised to see you standing alongside Yuto when he opens the door, so he glances at the maknae suspiciously – Yuto seems perfectly innocent, but Hui wasn’t exactly sure how much of that was an act.

“Hyung, did you eat today?” The younger boy holds up a bag as an offering – it doesn’t look like the regular convenience store food the boys would usually grab for him, so Hui accepts it hesitantly.

“I was originally just going to bring food for Hyunggu, since he was apparently starving in his studio or something, but then he mentioned that you never ate either, so..” You’re looking at him like you’re vaguely disappointed, and it makes a funny feeling tighten in his chest so he pretends to be completely absorbed with looking through the bag. He’s not sure where you got the food from, but it was mostly stuff that he actually liked. “I went to a place Hyunggu wanted, but he told me what he thought you’d like from there – I hope he was right.”

“This – you didn’t have to do this.” It’s nice not being the one buying things for once, he has to admit that to himself, but he still felt a bit bad that you’d felt the need to bring him anything at all. “Thank you, though.”

“You’re right, I didn’t have to. I wanted to – just like I wanted to bring Yuto food too when Hyunggu told me he was also here.” You’ve perched on the edge of his small leather couch and he wonders if you’d ever been in here before – he honestly can’t remember, though with how hyper-aware he was of you it was pretty safe to assume you hadn’t been. Yuto’s lingering near the door quietly, watching you and he interact, and he feels like the younger is analyzing what was happening.

“Thank you for it – I should go eat it now, while it’s still warm.” Yuto’s gentle bass of a voice is almost soothing, but Hui shoots him a look anyway because he suddenly knew what was happening. His maknaes were downright masterminds when it came to plans like this, and he can’t think of any way to get Yuto to stay before you bid him a cheerful goodbye as the Japanese boy smiles at the both of you as he carefully closes the door.

“Should I go too? I don’t want to distract you or be a bother or anything.” Your question is so sincere that he just looks at you for a few moments, tries to figure out a way to say ‘Yes, you do distract me and bother me, but definitely not in the way you’re thinking’. He finally settles on a single head shake, clearing a small portion of one of his desks to place the food on.

“Did you already eat?”

“No, but I’m fine.” Your answer is quiet, and he glances over to see you gazing around his studio – he feels vaguely embarrassed, though he’s not particularly sure why. His studio is remarkably small, it’s true, but he’s not actually ashamed of anything in it.

“You’ve never been in here before?” He’s pretty sure you haven’t, but there’s no harm in confirming it. You’d been focused intently on reading the names on his soccer jerseys, but once he speaks you turn all that intense concentration on to him and his mouth goes dry.

“Nope. Not that I remember, anyway, and I’m pretty sure I’d remember that.” You’re smiling at him and he doesn’t know why that’s something you’d remember, but your smile makes him not really care about the particulars. “Now eat, Hui.”

He raises his eyebrows at the parental tone you’ve adopted but says nothing, knowing there was no way he could get out of it now – and honestly, he didn’t really want to. He was really fucking hungry, and the meat you’d brought him smelled delicious.

It’s only as he’s taking his first bite (which is excellent by the way, Hyunggu apparently had a very good taste in restaurants) that he remembers what you said about not eating and makes a stupid split-second decision. (He’s never been one to think about things like this too much before blindly doing them, which was probably a problem, come to think of it.)

“Here –“ He holds the strip of bulgogi out towards you, one hand underneath, the sound of his heartbeat a constant background theme song. “Say ‘ah’~” And it’s so easy to pretend, to act like he’s just being friendly, to tinge everything he says with a bit of aegyo – you roll your eyes at him but accept the food anyway.

It’s not easy to ignore the intimacy of an act like this, to ignore the way he’s hit with a sudden yearning deep in his chest to be able to feed you food whenever, like a real significant other could.

“Thank you, but no more! This food is for you.”

“Okay, okay.”

The silence that slips back afterwards is mostly comfortable – you seem determined to make sure he eats, so while he does so you go back to gazing around his studio. Hui feels like there really wasn’t that much to look at, but you hadn’t looked bored yet, taking in the contents of his desk and then computer monitor. He realizes belatedly that he still had the windows open for some of their unreleased tracks, but when he glances at you again you’ve already moved on from them, so he leaves them where they are.

“Are you still seeing that one guy?” It’s easy conversation, light and carefree even if the topic makes him feel a bit bitter – as much as the knowledge of you seeing other people ate away at him he knows it would bother him more if you didn’t feel comfortable talking with him about it at all. Being able to be a close friend you confided in was something he cared more about than not feeling jealous.

“Oh – no, I’m not.” Your tone is carefully disinterested, but he can see through it well enough by now. Still, he doesn’t say anything, just turns so he’s fully facing you, focused and listening. “We just had a – confliction of interests I guess you could say.” You laugh softly at your wording and he laughs too, even if he doesn’t totally understand what you mean.

“And that means, what, exactly?”

“He thought women should be submissive during sex, and I disagreed.” ..Oh. Hui’s gaze darts away as he tries to process that – it wasn’t that you talking about sex was surprising. He was used to talking with you about intimately private things like this, though that was before this annoying infatuation with you had manifested into the tiresome nuisance it was now. Still, you’d never exactly stated your.. affinities towards any one thing.

“Ah.. is that so?” He sounds much hoarser than he’d meant to, like he’d choked on something – he still can’t look at you, because suddenly all he can think about is what that meant, if it meant leather and pain or lace and sweetness, if it meant scathing words or saccharine praises.

“Are you blushing?” You’re leaning forward off his couch, grinning and trying to get a look at his face, one of your hands on his knee to keep him from turning away from you - and he realizes that yes, he is fucking blushing, and the place you were touching him felt like it was blistering with heat. “Well, at least you’re not getting all upset with me for injuring your masculine pride or whatever by being a woman who doesn’t like to –“

“Okay! Okay okay, please take mercy on me!” His slightly exaggerated whining is met with your laughter, and his face feels like it’s on fucking fire, but he can’t look away from you now that he’d accidentally met your gaze.

“Sorry – you’re just so cute when you’re flustered!” And he knows he shouldn’t take this as anything more than friendly teasing, just like whenever Hyunggu would call him ‘cute’ whenever he got scared of something, but your words still make something short-circuit in his brain and he swears to everything that you will be the death of him.

“I’m – sorry things didn’t work out with him, but you’re really going to kill me if you keep this up.” And it’s not even a lie – he is ninety-eight percent sure that if you keep talking like this without giving him time to recuperate then he was just going to over-heat and pass out.

“I should go anyway, I’ve distracted you long enough – I didn’t go too far, did I?” You’ve stood up now and are looking down at him with a worried smile, so he just shakes his head because he’s pretty sure if he tried to talk he’d say something stupid like ‘No, I definitely didn’t mind hearing you say that, and while you’re at it please tell me some more’. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? Make sure you eat it all!”

He manages a “goodbye” that sounds sort of like he wasn’t dying, waving to you until you leave and his studio door beeps to signify that it was locked again.

“For fuck’s sake..” Hui forces himself to breathe deep, tries to will some of the heat to leave his face. He really didn’t know why he was getting so flustered over something like this – he wasn’t usually the type. Was it just because it was you? Because he definitely wouldn’t mind if you preferred to be dominant?

Hui curses again, a quiet ‘fuck’ that doesn’t really encompass everything he’s feeling but seems to be the best he can manage. Fuck indeed. He was so fucked.

.｡..｡.

The next time Hui’s in his studio he does his best to forget about the conversation the two of you had had last in there, tries to forget the way his entire body had lit up when you touched his leg, tries to forget the way you’d smiled so sweetly when he fed you.

It doesn’t go well.

To be honest, he didn’t do things like this often – he was busy most of the time, and if he was in his studio then he usually had something he needed to work on instead. But being in this room less than twenty-four hours after you had off-handedly mentioned that you liked to take a more dominant approach in the bedroom had him unable to concentrate on anything else, though he had made a valiant effort for an upwards of fifteen minutes.

With an agitated huff he’s pushing his chair back from his desk with more force than necessary, moving to make sure his studio’s door was locked before taking a seat on the edge of his couch. For a moment he contemplates if he’s really going to do this, runs an aggressive hand through his dyed silver hair and then curses the tingling pain it brings that he doesn’t quite hate as much as he should in the moment.

There’s a lingering feeling of shame and a much stronger feeling of embarrassment covering his body when he reaches for himself, though it only lasts for a few moments until the feeling of the rough friction of his palm through his jeans overpowers anything else.

Hui tips his head back with a soft moan before he remembers he needs to keep quiet, bites his lip when he unzips himself so he can wrap his fingers around his cock more easily. He’s rough, impatient, wants to finish fast but also likes the slight bit of pain – he full body shudders when he finally tugs the waistband of his briefs down and feels the cold air hit him, falling back onto his forearm. He knows, for a fact, that there’s a small bottle of lube in one of his drawers somewhere, but he doesn’t bother looking for it – he’s slick enough as is, and the slight pain keeps him grounded, keeps him from getting into it enough that he wouldn’t be able to monitor his volume.

There’s a slight urgency surrounding it all that is always there when doing something like this in a semi-public place, and he gives into it this time and allows it to urge him on quicker, fucking into his fist like he was going to get caught at any second.

He wants to drag this out, wants to get this over with, wants to think about anything else or feel the need to pull up some dirty video on his phone to finish, but all he can think about is you, you, you – he wonders what it would be like if you were the one stroking him instead, if you’d take pity on him or would be ruthless, if you’d whisper sweet compliments into his skin or humiliate him with biting words, if you’d bite at his neck, he really wanted you to bite at his neck and mark him up –

He orgasms with a choked off cry, hastily shoves the back of his wrist against his teeth to try to keep quiet as his hips buck sloppily into the loose circle of his fingers. He’s never been particularly quiet, and another wave of arousal washes over him as he imagines you telling him to keep it down, warning him that you’d have to gag him otherwise. He whimpers pitifully at the thought and tries to shut his mind down, feeling overstimulated both physically and mentally.

His fingers are sticky, the warmth quickly drying on his skin, and he feels much too hot, a thin sheen of sweat clinging to his skin alongside a layer of shame. He’s not totally sure why but he feels like he’s just made everything worse, like somehow he’d crossed a line and now being around you was going to be ten times harder.

He also feels like this was inevitable though, that his attraction to you had been building for so long that if he hadn’t found a release for it somewhere then he would have gone insane.

Or maybe he’s insane now, now that he’d done something this dirty and depraved. He really didn’t know, gaze still just a bit glassy and unfocused.

What he did know was that he was completely and utterly fucked at this point, collapses onto his back and lets his aching forearm finally take a break as his eyes slide shut in defeat.

.｡..｡.

“You’re not serious.”

“Of course we are, hyung – why, do you have a problem with it?”

Hongseok is taunting him, like he always does, and Hui would usually play along and tease him back but he feels completely thrown off guard and does nothing more than blink at all of them incredulously. His lack of a playful reaction in return has Hongseok softening a bit at the edges, but Hyunggu isn’t nearly as merciful.

“What’s the problem with it? You’ve been wanting us to do something bonding like this for a while, and now we have a time to do it, a reason to do it, and someone to make sure we don’t screw it all up by doing something stupid when we’re drunk.”

“We didn’t force her, hyung, she offered when we asked.” Yuto’s trying to alleviate Hui’s concerns, but he’s way off base – still, he’s trying, so Hui manages what he hopes is more smile than it is grimace in the Japanese boy’s direction.

“We want to drink, she doesn’t like drinking, and we have a few days off because Road to Kingdom ended – what are you so worried about?” Changgu asks him, kind and sincere as always – Hui doesn’t trust him for a minute, but he can’t fight the natural urge to tell everyone what his issue was anyway. God, he hated them sometimes. (They were his family, and he supposed sometimes you just had to hate your family.)

“You all know my – my problem with her.”

“Yeah, we know you want to –“

“Date her.” Wooseok cuts Shinwon off at the last second, modifying whatever it was his hyung had been about to say – Shinwon looks both annoyed and scandalized that Wooseok had thought he was going to say anything else. Hui does his best to ignore them.

“You really thought I’d be okay with her being the one watching over us while we drank? Knowing that none of us can drink well?” He swore he could literally feel his stress levels rising – it wasn’t like he was an embarrassing drunk or anything, but he knew he had an incredibly low tolerance for it, and he also knew that if the entire group was drinking then they were just going to end up egging one another on until everyone was truly smashed.

“Well, you’re going to have to be okay with it, hyung.” Hyunggu, always the hard-ass, insists forcefully – he doesn’t say it unkindly, but he says it in a tone that brooks no room for disagreement. It’s more Kino’s voice than it is Hyunggu’s, scarily similar to when they’re in the practice room.

Hui knows he could override it with hyung or leader seniority, knows Hyunggu is watching him carefully to see if it’s actually something the elder couldn’t deal with.

He ultimately says nothing, just sighs in a way that lets everyone else know he’s acquiesced – the resulting cheer brings a small smile to his face, even if he still feels uneasy about how the planned drinking night would go. He knew that when it came to both his members and you in one building with alcohol involved there was no way he wasn’t royally fucked.

.｡..｡.

The night goes exactly as you expected it to – none of the Pentagon members could hold their liquor particularly well, which meant that after an hour and a half they were all at their limits. (It was honestly kind of funny to watch. They were all so intent on getting one another drunk that they weren’t really even paying attention to the way everyone was sabotaging each other by constantly keeping the cups full.)

Still, that meant you were mostly trying to make sure they didn’t kill or injure themselves somehow. It wasn’t too hard of a task, though you did have to threaten both Wooseok and Hyunggu to keep them from climbing on top of the only coffee table Dorm A had. You were pretty sure the glass would just shatter under their combined weight. Hyunggu had targeted you with an impressive pout after that, but he’d lost interest pretty quickly when Yuto had fallen asleep - not that you blamed him, the rapper was sort of adorable when he slept.

It also meant that when Hui got up to get water – he swore that’s what he was getting, at least – you followed him. The man was a menace in the kitchen when he was sober, you were almost afraid to imagine what he’d manage to do when he was drunk. Just his presence alone might cause the stove to burst into flames or something. He was seriously cursed.

“Why are you following me?” His question is just a bit slurred together, almost sounding more like he was incredibly sleepy instead of drunk – you figure it’s because he hadn’t had as much to drink, but you weren’t really sure. You hadn’t been monitoring how much any person drank, more concerned with keeping them alive. (They could manage to injure themselves sitting on the floor sober, so being drunk just made your job several times harder.)

“Just checking.” You murmur – he raises his eyebrows at your comment but doesn’t say anything else, turning to grab a glass from one of the cupboards. You watch him for four whole seconds before you decide he’s about to knock several of them to the floor, stepping forward to reach for it instead. Maybe you’d been wrong about how much he had drank.

“I could have gotten it..” His petulance makes you smile, doing your best not to laugh at the little “hmph” he gives you when you inform him that no, he probably could not have.

“Just let me take care of you, you big baby. At least this way I can make sure you’re getting only water.”

“That is all I was getting..” He’s still sulking when you hand it to him, face flushed from the culmination of everything he’d drank tonight. You force your gaze away when he begins to drink – even drunk off his ass he was still an infuriatingly confusing mix of handsome and cute, and you resolutely did not want to watch his throat when he swallowed.

The sound of glass hitting a bit too hard on a solid surface startles you – Hui’s set his glass down incredibly close to your hand, depth perception just a bit fucked. You want to open your mouth to scold him for the close call, but his body heat is incredibly distracting, and he’s raising one of his hands and your breath catches in your throat.

He cages you in against the dorm’s sink, one hand on the side of your neck – to angle the kiss better or to steady himself you weren’t sure – with the other bracing himself as he presses his lips to yours. He’s so ultra-hot against your body, tastes of the same fruity drink Shinwon had been pressing into his hand all evening, the metal of his belt buckle biting into your stomach.

It’s not until he gives a soft breathy moan into your mouth that you realize you’ve been kissing him back for the past thirty seconds in his own kitchen, heedless of the rest of his members in the adjoining room or the fact that he was drunk enough he could barely stand without assistance. You press at his shoulders with minimal force, missing the pressure of his lips when he instantly moves away.

“What..?” He looks immensely confused, and you feel awful for kissing him back when you weren’t totally sure he was even aware of what he was doing. “Why’d you push me away?“

“Hui –“

“You kissed me back, so why’d y –“

“I just don’t want you to do something you’re going to regret later, Hwitaek.” You hope the use of his full name will get through to him – it seems it does, in some regard, because while he chokes out a half-disbelieving and half-tormented laugh he still pauses and blinks at you slowly like he was trying to carefully choose his next words.

“You act like I haven’t wanted to do this since the first time I met you.” And oh, his voice is just a bit huskier, a bit slurred on the syllables, but he says them carefully and you know that, at the very least, Drunk Hui meant them.

The problem was that you didn’t know if Sober Hui would agree.

“You should go to bed, Hui.” You say this instead of saying all the other things crowding the tip of your tongue, instead of grabbing him by the collar and kissing him again – alcohol took away a person’s consent, and you weren’t about to take a chance to pressure Hui into doing something you weren’t sure he wanted in the first place.

“No one else has gone to bed yet..” Now he’s sulking – but this is normal, this you can deal with. You can pretend like your lips didn’t still tingle where his had been touching, can pretend like you weren’t already addicted to the feeling.

“That’s not really a valid argument considering Yuto’s fallen asleep twice already.” You counter, watching the way he bites at his bottom lip in frustration – you know it for what it is, and it still seems coy to you instead, like he’s trying to seduce you.

God, what was wrong with you? He was just pouting now, brow furrowed, and you feel absolutely pathetic for seeing his current actions as anything other than what they really were.

It didn’t matter how attractive or desirable you found him, you couldn’t in good conscience do anything while he was so inebriated.

“Come on, Hui – let’s get you to bed so I can get back to the other boys to make sure they haven’t done something stupid, like coercing Hongseok into wrestling Changgu shirtless. Again.”

“It wasn’t that stupid –“

“They literally broke a bookshelf with their bodies, be quiet.” The banter comes easily, is normal and comfortable – it’s easy to pretend like he hadn’t just been kissing you, like you hadn’t just been fantasizing about him seducing you of his own free will. His skin is warm underneath your fingertips, flushed from the alcohol, as you direct him by the bicep down the hall and to his room.

You’re rarely in here – he’s rarely in here, actually, considering how much time he spends at his studio, how often he sleeps there. Because of that his room is sparsely decorated, an incredibly faint lingering smell of the cologne he occasionally wore clinging to the edges of some of the surfaces. It’s a heady scent that you do your absolute best to ignore, because it brings to mind images of him whenever he bothered to get extra dressed up, devastatingly handsome.

He lets you guide him over to his bed with zero fuss but turns back towards you when his knees hit the edge of it, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. It’s a deceptively gentle action, and you know you should really stop him, but you don’t move when he leans in to kiss you again. Underneath the flavor of alcohol there’s a distinctive taste that is purely him, and you know if you weren’t addicted to kissing him before then you definitely were now.

When you nip at his bottom lip and he lets out a shuddering moan you realize what you’re doing, try to pull away as fast as you can – this wasn’t fair to him, when he wasn’t in his right mind – but he catches you with a hand frantically landing on your waist, dropping his head to litter kisses along your jaw and then throat. You try to ignore the way your legs go weak at the feeling.

“Please –“ It’s more of a whine than a plea, but you feel it against the skin of your neck all the same, the words dragged along your pulse-point like a searing flame. “If we don’t now, then I don’t think –“

“You need to sleep.” It takes every ounce of willpower inside of you to ignore the wetness pooling between your legs, the insistent hard press of his cock against your thigh, the way his whimper when you push at his chest vibrates along the skin of your shoulder where he presses one last desperate kiss. “We can – we’ll talk about it in the morning.” You continue to push him gently back until he’s sitting on the edge of his bed, gazing up at you through his eyelashes, flushed and looking five different kinds of wrecked. Your entire nervous system threatens to shut down at the sight and you’re not sure that you can keep your promise about talking about it tomorrow.

He’s apparently not sure of it either, expression pinched and distraught when you press him insistently by the shoulders back onto his bed. His hair is ruffled and his eyes are glazed (from the alcohol or lust, you weren’t sure), his lips slick and kiss-bruised –

You tear your gaze away and force yourself to breathe again. When you look back Hui’s thrown a forearm over his eyes, bottom lip snagged between his teeth, breathing labored.

It takes ten seconds before you’re out of the room, clicking the door shut as quietly as you can, trying to erase the imagery of tears staining his face.

.｡..｡.

When Hui wakes up it’s to a pounding head and the vaguely disgusting feeling you get when you sleep in your clothes on top of your covers. His entire body hurts and he makes the same promise he always does when he wakes up like this, the same one he’s never kept – he’ll never drink again. Or, at the very least, he’ll never drink that much again.

His whole room spins when he pushes himself up, groaning softly at the way he feels like the world tilts dangerously on its axis as he slides his legs off the edge of his mattress. It’s only because of this world-shifting that he notices Wooseok asleep on the other side of his bed, all his long limbs drawn in as close as possible, his brow furrowed in his sleep.

He wonders when the maknae had ended up here and how they’d decided on rooms while he goes to the pain-staking process of draping one of his extra blankets over the tall boy. The world is still too bright (even with his blinds shut) and every step he takes feels a bit like walking through mud, but when he sees the way Wooseok slightly relaxes after being covered it all feels worth it.

The trek from his room to the kitchen feels like it takes much longer than it should, but at the very least the suspiciously long stretch of the dorm gives ample time for his headache to shift from excruciating to manageable. He was going to find the bottle of Aspirin, take all of them, and then go the fuck back to sleep. (Okay, maybe one of those was an exaggeration, but it sure felt like he could use that many painkillers.)

“Good morning.” He almost chokes when he hears your voice, a sudden onslaught of memories causing his face to heat up – you weren’t even looking at him, busying yourself with the small skillet Hongseok kept religiously cleaned. Hui wasn’t sure if his nausea was due to the smell of food or the way all he could think about was how he had – stupidly, why the fuck had he done that – kissed you and then tried to get you into bed with him.

“..Morning.” He hopes you take his lackluster response as a product of his hangover, sliding into one of the chairs at the kitchen table so he can bury his head in his hands.

“That bad, huh? You’re going to have to learn to tell Shinwon ‘no’ when he offers you drinks, you know.” He looks up to see you placing what he assumes is an Aspirin down on the table in front of him, already turned back to grab him water. He’s not sure if he’s glad you mistook his suffering as the results of a hangover or not.

“Thanks.” He waits until you hand him the glass before he takes the medicine, downing the rest of the contents when he realizes just how thirsty he was. He can feel the weight of your gaze still on him and it makes the blood in his veins feel like ice, knowing you had to remember the exact same things he (suddenly) did.

“If it makes you feel any better, Hongseok is way worse off than you right now. I honestly can’t believe he’s such a lightweight sometimes…” Your tone is sympathetic, but all Hui feels is a slight smug happiness at there being someone else who was, at the very least, suffering more than he currently was. At least Hongseok hadn’t had the chance to do anything stupid with someone he liked last night, like Hui had. “Honestly, it’s sort of impressive.”

“Huh?” He’d stopped listening to you by pure accident, forces himself to refocus on you – which just causes his eyes to instantly lock on to your lips, face heating up because not only does he remember kissing them, he remembers what they felt like and tasted like and he has to fight to tear his gaze away. God he was so fucked.

“How many lightweights you have in your band. In a group of nine you’d think it’d be more even, but, like.. almost all of you can’t hold your liquor. It’s kind of impressive.” You’re back to focusing on whatever it is you’re cooking – he only just now notices you also have ramen boiling in their small stove to the side, the dull bubbling of the water having blended into background noise long before he’d realized it had been there.

“Are they okay?” He’s sure they are, but there’s some deeply ingrained part of him that feels required to check – the soft smile you give him in response makes him feel like he’s in high school again whenever his crush would focus on him and him alone, and he isn’t sure what to do with that feeling now that he’s twenty eight years old, so he looks down at his empty cup instead.

“They’ll be okay. Wooseokkie ended up in your room – I’m sure you noticed him.” You wait for him to glance at you and nod before continuing. “Hongseok and Changgu ended up in the same room together, which worked out well considering Changgu’s probably the only one who could sleep through Hongseok’s pitiful whining about his hangover anyway. Hyunggu and Yuto shared a room, I think – which I guess means Shinwon ended up alone. Any guess on whether he’ll be happy or upset about that?”

“It could be either.” He responds, mostly because it’s true (Shinwon’s moods were hard to predict sometimes) but partly because talking about his members was something he could easily do, something that felt familiar and normal. It felt safe and far away from the topic he didn’t want to think about. (But he was thinking about it anyway, could remember your warmth when your body was pressed against his, could remember the way you kissed him back bruisingly and made him want nothing more than for you to wreck him every day of his life.)

“Oh, right – Yanan’s in China, by the way, and Jinho’s in the military.”

“Thanks.” His response is a dry remark at the way you were trying to tease him – like he didn’t know where Yanan was and wasn’t constantly in contact with the soon-to-be actor, like he didn’t think about Jinho every single day and wonder if he was doing well. “What would I do without your incredibly timely information.”

You just roll your eyes at him and turn to the ramen – he wonders who you’re making it for before realizing it was probably for whoever woke up hungry. That realization makes a certain spot in his chest warm, and he tries to ignore it because for fuck’s sake, not now.

“I knew it was going to go badly..” He mutters to himself – you hum questioningly and he blinks, surprised you heard him and instantly trying to reach for a half-truth that you’d believe. “Drinking so much, I mean.” Not totally a lie, which meant he could say it and have it sound mostly believable. To his relief you seem to take it at face value.

A silence stretches out between the two of you – it seems comfortable for you, but he feels like his skin is crawling, waiting for the moment you spring the dreaded conversation on him. He can’t think of any more topics to bring up to stall it.

“Hwitaek.” The tone of your voice makes his heart drop into his stomach and freezes over any warmth he’d been feeling because he knows the conversation that is now seconds away from happening is going to be one he didn’t ever want to have. “I think we should talk about what happened last night.”

“What happened?” He tries to brush it off like he didn’t remember, but his voice wavers just a bit and he can’t meet your gaze and he knows that you don’t buy it for a second.

“We have to.” Your voice is soft, gentle, and he hates it because he feels like you’re trying to be as kind as possible, and that didn’t bode well for how the conversation was going to go. “Did you do what you did because you were drunk, or because you were drunk and wanted to?”

Your gaze has him pinned to the seat, his own eyes wide and brain trying to stutter through any excuse he could think of, and when that didn’t work, trying to think of some way he could play it all off as a joke, or as him just being an overly friendly drunk.

You won’t believe anything but the truth, he can tell, and he was a shit liar even when he wasn’t hungover and panicked.

“I –“ He doesn’t know what he’s going to say, probably something stupid like ‘I love you, and I don’t know when I knew that but I’ve always wanted to kiss you, I was drunk but it let me do what I always wanted to do’ but he’s saved by Hyunggu walking into the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes and looking a bit less like hell than Hui felt.

“I think I’m dying..” The maknae grumbles, and your attention shifts to him and getting him something to help his headache. Hui tries to feel relieved that the conversation had been dropped, but the look you send him once over Hyunggu’s shoulder says, ‘We’re not done talking about this’ and he feels sick all over again. He was so fucked.

.｡..｡.

It isn’t until he escapes to his studio later that day, having basically inhaled an entire cup of coffee to try to fight off both his hangover and his exhaustion, that he realizes that aside from all his personal problems with how the night before had went he had essentially pushed himself on you and then not allowed you an avenue to talk to him about it.

And that makes him feel even more sick, because there had been a chance you’d just wanted closure of some kind considering he had basically drunkenly assaulted you, and all he’d done was avoid the issue entirely when you tried to talk to him about it.

Fuck. Fuck, he was the worst.

He’d been so worried about rejection that he hadn’t even thought about the fact that you’d never consented to being kissed – or, fuck, being propositioned for sex – in the first place.

He runs both hands through his hair aggressively, ruffling it in the slightly painful way he usually did whenever he did something he wasn’t happy with – he feels anxiety sitting cold in his stomach, fear that not only would you hate him but that he’d ended up hurting you or breaking your trust in him all because he’d gotten stupidly drunk.

Pushing down the steadily rising nausea, he reaches for his phone and almost calls you, deciding at the last moment to text you a simple ‘You’re right, we need to talk’ instead. He’d already fucked up once, he didn’t want to force you into the conversation by calling you unexpectedly. As an afterthought he adds a quickly typed ‘I’m sorry I tried to avoid it before’, because despite how nervous the thought makes him, he is genuinely sorry. (Sorry for everything, in fact.)

He tries to busy himself with unfinished tracks while waiting for you to respond, listens to the same snippet of some demo Yuto had sent him six times without really ever hearing the notes, does his absolute best to ignore how one of the last times he was in here he’d ended up touching himself to the thought of you. With everything that had happened since he feels fucking disgusting at the thought of it.

When his phone vibrates he essentially lunges for it – it wasn’t like he’d been making progress on anything anyway – heart hammering in his throat as he opens your messages.

‘It’s okay. In person or by a call?’

He wants to fucking cry at how nice you’re being, at giving him the option to choose a less personal route – but he knows that you were the one who’d taken the brunt of the incident, that all he was really worried about was rejection and being embarrassed. His fingers tap out ‘I’m embarrassed, but it’s up to you’ before deleting the first part before sending. He didn’t want you to feel like he was trying to pressure you into one choice or the other at this point.

‘Knowing you, and seeing how you reacted this morning, I think you’d die if we did it in person lol I’ll call you’

He tries to fight the weak smile your text causes – you always make him smile, and this is no different, but he can’t tell if you’re genuinely okay or not through text and it worries him. You’d seemed fine this morning, almost painfully nonchalant – too nonchalant? He wasn’t sure if he was overthinking things now or not – but he’d been hungover and tired.

You don’t call right away, and he resigns himself to waiting out another five or so minutes in this sickening state of anxiety, selecting and re-selecting the exact same clip of audio over and over just so he can pretend he’s doing something, so he can try to occupy his brain.

When his phone does ring he slams his knee into the table in surprise, high-strung and nervous. He barely even feels the tingling pain.

“I’m so sorry.” He blurts out the instant he answers, muttering a soft fuck under his breath afterwards. He’d wanted to give you time to speak, but he was buzzing with an anxious and guilty energy that had him speaking before he even realized he was.

“What?” Your question sounds more surprised than legitimately confused, like you hadn’t expected him to just start talking immediately. He rakes a hand through his hair again and then keeps it there, fisted, trying to ground himself with the tiny bit of pain as his breathing speeds up.

“About last night – I’m so sorry, I just – I was drunk, and that’s no excuse for what I did, I wasn’t thinking and I’m so fucking sorry. Are – are you okay? Am I allowed to ask that?” He feels like he’s right on the verge of panicking and he hates it, because you were the victim here, not him.

“I –“ You only pause to collect your thoughts for a heartbeat, but he feels the moment stretch on endlessly, sees ninety different scenarios play out and discards every positive one immediately. “Hui, you’re – god you’re so sweet.”

“What?” It’s more of an exhale than a word, because you didn’t sound angry, or hurt, you just sounded slightly amused and grateful, and he doesn’t want to get his hopes up but you didn’t sound upset.

“You’re right, what you did was wrong and shitty, and you suck for doing it.” You pause to breathe, and it reminds him he needs to breathe, his gaze darting along one of his computer monitors without really seeing anything. “But it’s sweet of you to apologize. You should, but most people wouldn’t.”

“I should have this morning.” He murmurs quietly, fingers gripping his phone so tightly they’ve begun to ache. “I was selfish and didn’t even think about it. I really am so fucking sorry.”

“I know, Hui. I believe you. You suck at lying anyway, if you weren’t sorry then I’d be able to tell.” You’re laughing again, and he tries to join you, but it sounds weak. His entire body feels like it’s melted into nothing – he didn’t even care if you rejected him at this point, you didn’t hate him and that was good enough. “But I kissed you back, Hui. Multiple times, actually.”

“…..what?” He can’t think of anything else to say – he had remembered you kissing him back, of course he did, but it all sort of blurred together at one point and he wasn’t sure that any of it had definitively happened. “I – I know – I mean, I thought you did, but you could have just, I don’t know, been trying.. to.. get me to go away by not resisting..?” Some drunks became irate when told ‘no’, and while he knew he wasn’t one of them – and he had a feeling you did too – that didn’t mean you hadn’t just been trying to protect yourself.

“God you’re sweet.” Your sudden, repeated statement is quiet, almost like you hadn’t meant him to hear it – he doesn’t say anything, doing his best to just breathe, doing his best to act his fucking age and not like some kid who needed instant reassurance. You were the one who deserved reassurance in this situation. “I kissed you because I wanted to, Hui. It’s very kind of you to be so concerned, but you’re about the least threatening drunk I’ve ever encountered. I could have probably pushed you off me with one hand – actually, I did push you off me with one hand, when we were in the kitchen.”

“I – you – you wanted to.” It’s a statement because he’s stuck trying to process this new information, because this wasn’t a rejection (he thinks it’s not, at least), because you didn’t hate him, because the way all the anxiety induced adrenaline had leeched out of his body was leaving him feeling even more exhausted than before.

“I actually wanted to tell you that I was sorry – since I kissed you back and all, but you were drunk so it wasn’t really like you were –“

“I wanted to – I wanted you to.” He says the words too fast, trips over them, but he knows you understood by the way you went silent on the other end. He appreciated the apology, really, he did, but not only did he not think it was needed, he also couldn’t stand listening to you apologize for kissing him back when he had been dreaming about this moment for way too fucking long.

And he wants to tell you that, but you’re still silent and he’s beginning to wonder if he somehow read this entire situation wrong.

“..I don’t know what to say now.” You admit softly, and he lets out a silent exhale when he realizes you’re just being shy. He wasn’t used to that side of you, but already he knew he found it adorable, just like the rest of you.

“You can’t be more embarrassed than me, if you are then neither of us will be able to talk.” He’s laughing quietly now, feeling.. not quite comfortable yet, but definitely on the way there. You hadn’t really made any declaration of love for him, but you had reciprocated his kiss, at the very least.

“Oh, you need me to be confident?” There’s a teasing tone in your voice that is more commonplace than the shy one from before, and he already knew just by the sound of it that whatever you’re going to say next is going to affect him in some way.

“It’d be helpful.”

“Then I’d say we need to try that whole kissing thing again, but without the alcohol. It really ruined the experience last time, don’t you think?” He suddenly can’t breathe again, mouth opening and then closing at your statement – not that you care about his lack of a response, since you continue without him saying anything. “It could have led to so many fun places if you hadn’t been drunk.” A pause, where his heartbeat pounds in his head and his mouth has gone dry. When you speak again he can tell you’re doing your best to keep up your confident façade. “..Is that okay with you?”

“Yes.” He says this on a relieved breath, face still hot but body covered in excited, adrenaline filled tingles. You were really putting him through an emotional workout this morning, but at this point he wouldn’t dare complain. “Please. I’ve wanted –“

He cuts himself off before he can say anything more embarrassing, about how long he’s wanted to do something like that, to hear you say something like that, how he’s fantasized and day-dreamed about it for way too long. He flushes even more when he can hear your gentle laughter on the other line.

“You mentioned something like that last night. I wanted to ask about it actually –“

“Oh, wow, I am super busy right now doing leader things, just.. so busy. I couldn’t possibly talk to you anymore, I’m just so extremely busy.”

“Jerk.” This time when you laugh he laughs with you, a real laugh instead of the weak one he’d offered you earlier. “Okay, fine, go do your suddenly important work – but I’m definitely interrogating you about that later, it’s just too interesting to pass up. Bye Hwitaek.”

“Bye.”

It’s so like you to cut the conversation short whenever he mentioned his work – you never wanted to genuinely distract him, and it was one of the things he liked about you.

Loved about you.

Fuck. Fuck.

He can’t contain his laugh of disbelief and giddiness, setting his phone down on his desk so he can cover his face with both of his hands, running them through his hair and pushing it back away from his eyes.

You said you’d wanted to kiss him. You had kissed him. He hadn’t imagined it.

You’d said you wanted to kiss him again.

His phone vibrates and he lowers his hands to glance at it, sees it’s a text from you, and already he can feel that warm, lightweight feeling in his chest just at the sight of it.

God, he was so fucked – but with how this had turned out, he really couldn’t complain at all, nor did he want to.

.｡..｡.

Trying the ‘kissing thing’ again, as you had put it to him on the phone, turned out to be a nebulous concept – not that Hui really expected anything else, but it was a bit disappointing to finally get an answer (a positive one at that) only to be unable to meet up with you again. Not that getting to text you often wasn’t wonderful – it was, and he felt the need to make that abundantly clear (though he was pretty sure you knew that, considering he actually paid attention to his phone now just so he could respond to you) – it was just a bit frustrating to finally have permission to do the things he’d been dreaming about, like kissing you, and then be barred from doing it by forces outside of his control.

As it was, it was nearing the end of the second week since the ’confession’ had happened, and he was only just now finding time to head over to your place after working all day. It was late (nearing four am, he noticed with a groan) and his muscles ached from practice and his eyes ached from composing all day but he would be damned if he’d let another chance to spend time with you slip by him without leaping for it.

“You look so attractive.” It’s the first thing out of your mouth when you see him at your door – Hui laughs the soft sort of laugh he does when he’s a bit nervous, bending to unlace his shoes. It’s not rare of you to compliment him – in fact, you usually did, because it was true and he deserved all the kind words you could heap on him – but something about the circumstances makes it feel different this time, charges the air with a sort of excited, nervous tension.

“Really? I came over right after practice, I can’t look that good..” He trails off, shy, and you look him over again. It’s true that he looks a bit tired and run down, but the dim low lighting of your entryway paints his skin golden and throws his profile into a mix of soft shadows and gentle lines, illuminates his silver hair into a gradient of golden blonde to dusky gray.

“You look good, trust me.” It’s all you can say – everything else gets stuck in your head, muddling itself before it can get to your tongue. You hope to one day be able to properly put into words just how beautiful he is to you, but you’re in no rush to do it now, you have time. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay tomorrow?”

“If I passed up on this chance then I might legitimately die.” He says it so seriously that you laugh, and the way his expression smooths out into a warm smile has your heart beating erratically. God, he didn’t play fair at all.

“Well, if you’re sure..” You take the chance to step closer to him during the slight lull in conversation – he blinks at you once, still smiling, but the smile freezes on his face when you nonchalantly place your arms around his neck. You can feel the way he’s tensed at the new, intimate position, and it’s absolutely adorable how he clearly wants to reciprocate in some way but resolutely keeps his arms at his sides. “You –“

“Can I kiss you?” He says it all in one breath, interrupting you, rushed and embarrassed but also like he craves it, like he might die if he didn’t get your permission to do so. It’s the cutest thing in the world and a surge of heat floods your bloodstream at the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes. “Please.” He tacks it on at the end, a quiet whisper, so fucking good and sweet and perfect.

“Of course, baby.” The words are barely out of your mouth before he’s surging forward to connect your lips, his hands landing on your waist and a soft sound of pleasure escaping him as a sigh. The pet-name of ‘baby’ is one you learned that he liked recently, and while it had been deliciously fun to tease him with it through text and over the phone it was something else entirely to see the way he responded to it in person, the rich sunset color of his eyes softening into something more gentle and pliant.

The way Hui kisses now is slightly different than when he’d been drunk – it’s more assured, more precise, and while it still holds that level of desperation from before there’s something a bit less rushed about it, something more confident and not as nervous as before.

There's something infinitely better about doing it this way, Hui thinks, better than anything he'd fantasized about or hazily remembered from when he'd been drunk. Every single one of his senses is attuned to you and you alone, and nothing exists outside of the two of you kissing, the weight of your arms on his shoulders, the feeling of your nails lightly scraping at the nape of his neck, the rough feeling of your clothing beneath the pads of his fingers at your hips. Your lips press and slide against his constantly before parting for a few brief seconds, and he chases the faint swipe of your tongue against his bottom lip with his own, whining when you don't instantly give in to his demands.

By the time you nip at his lip he's completely given up on leading the kiss, opens his mouth and moans high and sweet when your tongue leaves a blazing trail of pure fire in its wake. His lips are kiss-bruised and tingling, the sensation imprinting on him that this was real, you were really kissing him, he wasn't going to suddenly wake up and realize it was all a dream.

When you pull away from him he follows you for a moment, stopping only when you cup his cheek in one hand and slide your thumb across his bottom lip. His gaze is glazed and he looks so thoroughly wrecked from simply getting kissed that you feel another surge of heat flood your system.

"Good?" Your whispered question barely makes it through to him, but when it does he blinks a few times to force the haze from his mind and nods, grip on your waist tightening, grounding him. You’ve never seen someone look more adorable.

“Yeah.” His voice is slightly hoarse and you give in to the urge to kiss his throat tenderly – when he tilts his head back with a sigh you trail your lips up to his jaw. “Yeah, it’s – great.”

You can feel the heat of his skin against your face, leave open-mouthed kisses from the spot under his ear (which makes him shiver in a way that you immediately catalogue in your mind) in a line down to the collar of the light-weight hoodie he’d worn for practice.

“I wish I could mark you up here..” Your lamentations are met with a literal fucking whine from Hui, one of his hands coming up to grip unsteadily at the crook of your arm like the mere comment had made him unsteady. “Oh? Is that something you’d want? For me to bruise you up so prettily that there’d be no way you could cover it?”

He nods, not trusting his own voice, head full of fantasies where you could do that, where you’d be able to sink your teeth into him, suck dark marks into his skin that wouldn’t fade and that his members would tease him about. (But even in his fantasies his members are there, a constant, and he knows that there’s no other timeline better than the one he’s currently living in.)

“Hwitaek.” You say his name softly, wrap a hand around the back of his neck to make him look at you – his gaze is disconnected, lingers on your lips before your silence registers as he meets your eyes. “I think we should talk about what we both want out of tonight.”

“Yeah – okay, okay.” Fondly, you watch as he takes a small step back and forces himself to become more present, a bit of clarity re-entering his eyes. You notice that he hadn’t stepped far enough away that either of you had to stop touching one another though, and it makes a part of your heart warm with affection. “That’s probably a good idea.”

He lets you lead him further into your house, glances around in interest but doesn’t stop you – he thinks (hopes) he’ll have more time later to become acquainted with this place.

“So, Hui –“ He perks up at you speaking to him, and it’s so cute that you have to stop just to recollect your thoughts. He peers around your room with thinly veiled interest but keeps glancing back at you like you’re the most interesting thing in existence. It’s flattering and adorable. “Considering we’ve talked about it before you know that I prefer to be more dominant, and you –“

“Find it incredibly hot?” He finishes your sentence for you, a happy little smirk on his face at your surprised expression as he darts in to kiss you once, quick and chaste and filled with delight.

“I – I was going to say, ‘you’re okay with it’, but what you said was so much better.” You’re smiling now too, still a bit shell-shocked – really, what sort of luck did you have for an incredibly attractive and sweet guy to also be down for being submissive for you? – but definitely not complaining. You cup his face in your hands and draw him towards you again for a sweet kiss – it lingers just on the side of ‘too passionate’, but neither one of you have enough self-control to reign it back in. You can feel his flush underneath your fingertips. “How did I ever get this lucky?”

“Should I say the cliché thing about thinking the same thing?” His voice is soft, one of his hands coming up to slip underneath your own, fingers curling around your palm. “Because I was.”

“You really are a hopeless romantic sometimes, you know that?” You couple your rhetorical question with another kiss – you were one hundred percent addicted to them now, you knew that for a fact. “We should really talk about what you’re comfortable with happening tonight, Hui.”

He must not be thinking clearly (he’s not, all he can think about is you and how you keep kissing him and how it’s all he’s ever wanted in his entire life) because he says “anything” in a strained whisper, breathless and needy before anything has even happened.

“Anything?” You can’t hide the surprise in your voice, though you try to soften it at the last second – he flinches anyway, like he was embarrassed with how eager he had come across, his gaze somewhere at your hip now. “’Anything’ is a dangerous thing to say, Hwitaek. What if all I wanted to do was finger-fuck you?”

He knows you were joking – he can hear it in your voice, the way you’ve tried to lighten the mood to make him more comfortable. He appreciates it, but it does absolutely nothing for him considering the effect your words had on him. “…I wouldn’t mind that.”

“Really?” Again you’re surprised, but this time you seem slightly eager – he raises his gaze to assess the situation, and yes, you did look interested. The excited, nervous little fire burning in his core feels a bit stronger suddenly. All he can do is nod, mute in the face of your presence, your power, your effortless aura that has him sinking down gratefully onto your bed at the slightest push of your hand against his chest.

Your fingers press at him, hard, and he feels breathless when they slide underneath his hoodie and t-shirt both in one go, hitch it up to above his navel. He thinks about all the marks you could leave on him there, hidden under clothing between promotions, and the sly grin you share with him when your fingernails rake a teasingly shuddering line down his side makes him think you have the exact same ideas he does.

Those two articles of clothing are lost quickly, dropped somewhere over the side of your bed as you kneel between his legs and kiss him until he can’t breathe, a wonderful feeling that has him drifting along in hazy bliss until he realizes what you’re doing.

“You’re a bit more dressed than I am, suddenly..” He tries to make it teasing but it comes out as something soft and reverent, and your lips when they smile at him are a slash of color that he can’t tear his eyes away from. He can feel your curious fingers dipping under the waistband of his athletic joggers and he does his best not to lose his fucking mind at the connotations of it.

“That’ll come. Later. Let me focus on you first, Hwitaek.” And how could he even argue with that? Why would he argue that? He’d have time to see your body later – and to be completely honest, he was perfectly happy with seeing however much of you that you were comfortable showing him.

(Still, he thinks, as you gently push him to lie down on your bed, he hoped you weren’t too uncomfortable with showing your body. As you drag the fabric of his briefs slowly down his legs he thinks about how much he really wants to eat you out, and what a shame it’d be if you weren’t comfortable with that. Regardless, he’d find some way to pay his respects to you and your body, even if his regular go-to’s turned out to not be an option.)

“You’ve done this before?” He doesn’t sound nervous, just questioning, having slung a forearm across his eyes. You let him leave it there for now, knowing he must feel a bit vulnerable in his current position.

“Mhm, I have – and you?” It’s almost laughable how casually the two of you are speaking, like you hadn’t just been feeling him up and wasn’t currently in the middle of warming lube on your fingers. When he nods you hum and use your clean hand to grip him under the knee, pulling it up high enough you can place a kiss on the inside of it. An amused laugh leaves him in the form of a surprised exhale at the surprisingly tender action.

“I have – don’t worry, I’m not new to all of this.” You can’t see his eyes but you can see the rest of his face, see that he’s still smiling – you keep a close eye on his expression as you circle his rim teasingly, watching with rapt attention the way the smile disappears as he tenses with a soft sound that’s not quite a gasp before forcing himself to relax again.

“With women or men?” You keep it casual, careful to keep your voice unaffected, and he laughs again but it’s more disbelieving this time, pulls his legs up so his knees bracket you on either side.

“Yes.” Hui simply answers, and it’s your turn to laugh, your free hand smoothing soothing circles into his bare hip. You think he looks absolutely beautiful like this, spread out just for you and you alone, a small notch in his brow from the way his expression has twisted as you carefully slip your first finger in.

“You’re really cute like this, all vulnerable and naked for me.” You’re teasing him, testing the waters – from the way he flushes though, the little hitch upwards that his hips make, you think you might have just discovered something fun. “Hui, do you like me talking to you like that?”

He doesn’t answer you right away, moves his arm so he can look down at you between his legs. Something about it must get to him, because he just looks at you for a moment or two, like he was trying to imprint the visual in his mind.

“You can add another.” He says instead, all breathy and soft like you’d already ruined him, wrecked him into pieces. It’s incredibly endearing, you think, dropping your gaze to where his cock sits red and shiny and untouched against his lower stomach, a small mess of pre-cum already smeared onto his skin. That was also endearing.

“I’ve barely even stretched you yet..” Your disbelieving murmur is clearly heard by him, and you raise your gaze to meet his as you test the waters with a second finger. It’s definitely tight (tighter than you would have preferred, if only for his own safety), but Hui just moans and shifts his hips more towards you, digging into your pillow as he tips his head back. “Oh – Hui the size queen, huh? Is that it?”

He laughs, but it tapers off into a sound closer to a moan than anything else. “I don’t think I’ve ever been called that before.”

“Does it suit you?” You keep one hand splayed flat on one of his hips – he’s doing a wonderful job at not moving overly much, but by doing this you can feel every small tremor that goes through his body, can feel his muscles tense each time he forces himself to stay still. “If I end up fucking you one day am I going to have to make sure it’s sized big enough to totally wreck you?” Your question is coupled with an inquisitive upwards quirk of your fingers, and he nearly kicks you in surprise at the liquid arousal that floods through his body at the feeling. (You teasingly bite at his lower calf for it, and the soft sound he makes as you press your teeth into him is definitely something you file away for later.)

“I know you’re just teasing me, but -“ He licks his lips, tries to gather his focus again as you add a third finger. It burns in such an exquisite way that it’s hard to concentrate on anything else except for the current points of contact between you and him.

“Do you want me to stop?” A pause. “Hui, look at me.”

He obeys, meets your analyzing gaze and offers a slightly strained smile as he thinks about your question – though he doesn’t think for very long, a burst of wonderful, embarrassed heat curling across his chest and through his stomach when he lets his upper body drop back down to the bed, shaking his head ‘no’.

“Oh, Hwitaek..” You sound vaguely pitying, and he hates it, but he loves it. “You’re just a little boy who likes to be teased and humiliated, is that it?”

He feels so small with you talking to him like that, like his body was three sizes too big for his skin and he was burning up from the inside out – whenever the heat becomes too much all he has to do is open his eyes and see you looking at him (you’re always looking at him, and it takes his breath away because the way you watch him makes him feel like he’s something special, something that should be treasured) and suddenly everything was okay again. It was like you were the one stoking the flames of his desire, but you could also cause that blistering heat to ebb away whenever it became too much.

He realizes he hasn’t answered you yet and frantically nods, heart threatening to dissolve into something sticky and sweet at the way your expression softens.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but we’re not going to delve too deep into that tonight without talking about it in more detail later.” He nods, because he really does understand (despite the slight burst of disappointment) and he appreciates that you want to talk out what his limits are first. “Besides, how am I supposed to talk to you like that when you’ve been so good for me this entire time? So pretty and vocal.”

He can’t help the whine that tears itself from his throat at your phrasing – it didn’t matter what you were saying to him anymore, every single word embedded itself into his skin and worked its way through his body like an electric shock.

“Oh? Sweet boy - are you an adorable whore for both degradation and praise?” He doesn’t even bother saying anything this time, just shuts his eyes tight - he knows you already know the answer, can read him so well it’s almost like his desires were written out on his skin in black ink. “That’s so cute. You’re just so responsive to everything, aren’t you? I love that - anything I say or do I’ll get a direct response to, won’t I, Hwitaek?” You wait until he nods, his eyes still shut, before taking the opportunity given to you. Your lips press a teasing kiss into the line of his pelvis, giggling softly against his skin when he gasps above you. “Yeah, just like that. So beautiful, Hui, and all for me.”

Yes, all for you he thinks, and even his thoughts are getting mixed up and hazy now because you’ve wrapped your fingers around him loosely and he is so slick already, the feeling of your thumb swiping across the head of his cock, tracing the lines of precum down the shaft to where they’ve collected on his skin causing his entire body to twitch in a mess of stimulation.

“Oh, baby, you’re so wet for me already.” He can’t focus on anything, can’t think of anything, hears your voice through the haze like it’s faraway and he’s drifting underwater. He tries to force himself to be more present, tries to physically drag himself out of those depths, but you’re cooing at him sweetly and running your fingers over his cock softly, and any amount of shame he might have felt at having fallen so far into this headspace is eradicated by the sugar-laced kisses you press into his side.

“You really can’t keep quiet, can you?” Your voice is sweet but laced with amusement, and you can feel the way he throbs in your hand at the slightly degrading comment. “You sound like you’re going to cum just from three of my fingers – are you, baby? You going to make a mess of yourself before we even get to do anything?”

“Fuck..” Hui’s entire body feels like it’s on fucking fire, and when you duck your head to suck a bruise onto the inside of his thigh it’s all he can do to keep from crying out even louder. You were right, he couldn’t keep quiet, his head swimming and his fingers curled so tightly into your sheets that he could barely feel them anymore. “I’m – you’re –“ He can’t concentrate, can barely speak, and he knows his words come out more as whines anyway.

“Do you think it’ll be okay if you cum now?” You’ve stopped moving entirely and his whole body feels like it’s buzzing, his hips trying to rock back onto your fingers or up into your hand with no real success as the haze slowly recedes from his mind enough for him to be able to form full sentences

“Y-yeah.” He pushes himself up onto his forearms to be able to look down at you, groan catching in his throat when he sees the way you’re peering at him openly, watching him with beautiful eyes and a graceful flush on your face, one of your hands slick with his pre-cum and the other still wickedly deep. He’d never been more sure of the fact that he loved you than this exact moment. “If – if you give me a little bit afterwards, it’ll be fine.” He knows he sounds breathless and wrecked already, but you smile so sweetly at him anyway, like he was something precious to you, and he feels like the ground and the bed he was lying on had just suddenly disappeared at the sight.

And then you’re lowering your head and wrapping your lips around him and it’s all he can do to keep his eyes open – you hadn’t eased him into it, hadn’t given him any indication of your plans at all. One moment you were asking him about his refractory period and the next you were doing things with your tongue and mouth that he couldn’t even begin to fathom, your fingers once again brushing against that spot deep inside of him that has him keening.

He’s not going to last much longer; he knows that with a sudden certainty that has him trying to warn you but is more disjointed pleas for you to not stop than they are anything else.

One of his hands grasps for your shoulder blindly when he hits his peak, fingers curling into your skin as he spills himself onto your tongue. It’s blindingly hot and you can see the way he fights to keep his eyes open to watch, brow furrowed and mouth open almost like he was in some sort of pained ecstasy as you continue to finger-fuck him through it until he’s trembling.

When you stick your tongue out at him tauntingly and show him the mess he made Hui groans from deep within his chest like you’re torturing him, sits up abruptly and crashes his mouth into yours. It’s messy and dirty and he licks into your mouth aggressively, chasing all essence of himself off your tongue and onto his own with a moan that rattles your bones. You do your best to withdraw your fingers as gently as possible but he whimpers at the feeling anyway, drops his head to begin kissing a sloppy trail from your jaw down to your neck.

“You’re so dirty..” Your head is spinning and you feel short of breath - each time you inhale his chest knocks against yours as he heaves his own breaths, though he refuses to pull away from your skin for long enough for him to be able to recover as quickly. You think you feel him murmur a soft sound of agreement to your statement against your collarbone.

As soon as you can wrest a big enough part of yourself back under control you lean back, holding him securely away with your thumb and forefinger gripping his chin. Hui looks at you with an expression of wrecked reverence, the perfect picture of debauchery, and you know that right here, right now, at five something am in your bedroom, he would do literally anything you asked – that at this point in time it was no longer your room, with the window showing glimpses of the outside world, the sounds of cars going past. This place, this moment in time, it was now something disconnected and intangible, where he had given you explicit trust (perhaps foolishly, considering how inchoate your relationship was) to control and lead him. To take care of him in whatever way you see fit.

And you know that right here, right now, in this nebulous place that the two of you occupied, you would strive to make sure he never regretted giving you that permission.

“Hwitaek.” Your voice is breathier than you expected – you sounded like you’d been kissed hard. You sounded like you were in love. “Hwitaek, you are messy and crude – you are such a dirty boy, and you’ve hidden that from me for years.” He is hanging off your every word and you suddenly feel like you have a choice to make.

It’s one you don’t think about for more than a second, because you realize that you don’t need to.

“And, Hwitaek – you are so perfect for me.”

.｡..｡. .｡..｡.

“You know something?” Hui says it casually, out of nowhere, hand still rubbing nonsense patterns into the skin of your lower back after having crept underneath your shirt some twenty minutes ago just for the skin to skin contact. He’s not focused on anything else but relaxing in his bed at the dorm with you, thoughts about producing and writing lyrics and being a leader far from his mind.

“Hmm?” Your head rests on his chest, listening to his heartbeat – it’s a comforting sound, if not slightly faster than average, and when you close your eyes you can hear it mix with the soft (and sometimes not so soft) sound of some of his boys arguing or laughing or just living somewhere else in the dorm, outside his shut door.

He still hasn’t spoken so you lift your head and gaze at him, admire his features as he looks back at you with an expression so tender you’re almost afraid to have the weight of it on you. His hair is back to brown now, cut a bit shorter than before, and you stretch an arm out to run your fingers through it lazily, watch as he leans into it but keeps looking at you.

“I think you’re perfect for me, too.” His voice is warm, probably what sunshine would sound like if it was an auditory thing, and you blink at him in confusion for a few moments before you understand what he’s referencing, press your smile into his until it turns into a gentle, surging kiss.

It’s not quite an I love you, something adjacent to it, almost there but not exactly.

And neither of you say those words yet, just smile and look at each other and press kiss after sugared kiss into each other’s skin, interlace your fingers and marvel at the way affection seems to blossom for one another in both your ribcages at the simplest of actions.

The two of you weren’t in any rush. You had time.

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

Note

*with Luke* helping your sister and her fiance with making a wedding registry (register?) and Luke comes along and you're aksjdksksk bc Luke

You’re on a video call with your sister begging, she’s got her hands buried in her hair. “I don’t have the slightest fucking clue how to build a registry.”

You laugh, “And why are you asking me to help? I don’t know either.”

“Emotional support,” she counters, “Emotional support!”

“You do realize that’s why you have a fiancé?”

“They went out of town for work. Please help. Please. Just one Friday with your sister. It ain’t that bad.” You sigh because you were supposed to spend the day with Luke. He had been in the studio late some nights. He made point to stay in during the mornings so you two could have breakfast. But still it wasn’t easy and you two hadn’t been able to spend a lot of time together.

However, you still can’t leave your sister hanging. Especially now hearing that she’d be starting this process by herself. “I gotta make a call,” you say. “But sure.”

“Thank you! You’re the best sister around.”

“Please remember that at all major holidays with year.” The two of you laugh and she ends the call. You’re not sure if Luke’s gonna blow his top or not. You know he’d been working hard laying vocals so he could take the day with you and now here you were, having to cancel them. Luke didn’t get angry a lot at all--but right now there was pressure from the record label and you know that he needed to focus on that. You still wanted your time together.

Things are just a mess. There’s no real sense in waiting either. Either way it’d be a mess. The phone rings in your ear and you’re trying to keep the shakes out of your hands. You don’t want to cancel the plans and you’re hoping today’s been good in the studio so that maybe you two and rearrange for just dinner out and bout rather than the whole day like previously determined.

“Hey, babe,” Luke answers.

You can’t tell from his voice if today’s bad or not. He sounds okay, possibly tired. “Hey. Is it a bad time?”

“No, no. Not a bad time. What’s up?”

“My sister called.”

There’s a small pause but Luke hums. “Trouble in paradise or?”

“Not a bad kind of trouble. She needs help with her wedding registry and her fiance went out town for work and I think she wants to go to a few stores and talk to someone there. And she asked for my help.”

“Uh huh, why do you sound scared? Is that really what’s going on?”

“She wanted to go Friday.”

Another pause. Then he hums and you swear you can feel every ounce of blood thumping through your veins. “Got space for one more?”

Brows burrowed, you pull the phone away to make sure you’ve called the right person. “Huh?”

“If it’s a girls only thing, then, I get it. I’ll-I’ll just work until about 2 on Friday and then later in the afternoon we can hang out like we planned.”

“It’s-it’s not a girls only thing. I just, I know we made plans for Friday and I’m really sorry.”

“It’s your sister, babe. I’m not mad. A little annoyed I busted ass for vocals,” he laughs, “but I mean shit happens.”

“Thanks. For understanding,” you breathe. Your shoulders drop, the thumping in your veins slows. “And I’m sure you can tag along. I just don’t know why you’d want to?” The end lilts up, you’re not sure if he understands what the day’s going to entail.

“Practice,” he returns quickly.

Your eyes widen. He did not just say what you think he said. “What? Practice?”

“You heard me. Let me know if your sister’s okay with me joining and we can go from there. Have you eaten yet today?”

You’re still staring at the call, looking at his name and the seconds ticking up. This man is not real, you think to yourself. He is not real. “Yeah, I did. Have you?”

“Lunch just got here. I’ll text you later. Unless you want to talk about something else.”

“No, no, that was all.”

“Love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper watching the call end. “What the fuck was that?” When you text your sister that you’re all clear and that Luke wants to join, she has not issue. The evening rolls in deep and by the time the front door opens, the alarm system chirping at the opened door, you look up from your cuddle puddle with Petunia to see Luke, strutting over to you.

He presses a kiss to your forehead and then Petunia. He looks tired and you know the days are adding up fast. “Dinner’s chilling in the oven if you’re hungry,” you offer, sitting up to brush your fingers over his cheek.

“Ate earlier, but thank you. I’ll take some for lunch tomorrow.” He roots into your touch, still haven’t shrugged out of his denim jacket or his boots. His keys are still hanging around his finger.

“You sure you want to come with us Friday? You could just take the day, sleep in.”

“No, I want to tag along. Get time with you. You get to see your sister. It’s a win all around.”

“I still can’t believe what you said. Practice. Why do you need to practice putting together a wedding registry?”

Luke softly exhales, kissing your palm. “Because, maybe,” he starts, his cheeks tinting pink. “One day we’ll put together one. If that’s something you’d like.”

The thumping blood comes back and you’re sure your chest is going to rattle loose with hw unsteady your breathing is. “This better not be a proposal.”

His laughter is sharp and a bit of a squeal. He falls into your chest, forehead rest right in the center. The weight reminds you how to breathe properly. “No, no, it’s not. I know I’m a goof and I probably would attempt to propose like that. But I would at the very least have the ring.”

You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and fall into the cushions of the couch. “You are a goober. But that’s reassuring.” Silence settles, not even the TV seems to make noise for a moment. “But I’d be okay with that. I’d like it. Marrying you.”

Luke exhales into your skin--you feel it through the t-shirt. “Good.”

“Those mixing bowls are hideous,” your sister laughs as Luke holds up a set. He’s browsing for your kitchen and also to help your sister. Mostly, he’s out of his depth but he’s learning as he fails. So far, he’s managed to pick out a decent blender but he’s failed miserably at other kitchen items.

“Oh c’mon, they’re kinda cute,” Luke defends.

“It’s too bright. The lemons and the green of the leaves, it’s best to leave that here,” your sister teases.

You laugh at them, eying a crystal cake dish. But you know you don’t need it. “Okay, on the real,” you start, turning to your sister. “You and your fiancé don’t even cook like that. So how much do you really want to have to deal with kitchenware you’re not going to use?”

She sighs. “Fair. But we do like to host.”

“I vote investing in some good serve ware but if you’re not doing the cooking, then we really ought to get out of here. I still think you two could ask for better traveling gear. The two of you are always bouncing around for work and you keep saying that the two of you are harsh on suitcases.”

Luke perks up. “I know a place close by that’s got really good traveling gear.”

“Does that belong on a wedding registry?” your sister asks.

“Look it’s yours. You get to ask for whatever the fuck you want,” you return.

“And what’s the harm in just looking?” Luke chimes in before holding up golden yellow dutch oven. He looks at you with puppy eyes.

“We have a dutch oven,” you sigh.

“But it’s not yellow.”

“We do not need two dutch ovens.” The three of you walk out of the store after completing some of the cookware and serve ware that your sister and her fiancé will need and Luke proudly carries the box of the yellow dutch oven to the car. You agreed that you could get the yellow one if he found a place to donate the other one. The color didn’t clash with the rest of the set thankfully.

“Let this be known when we do create our wedding registry, I am not bringing you along for the kitchen stuff,” you sigh, opening the trunk for him.

“But you love me.”

“I do. Sometimes unfortunately.”

#luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings fic #luke hemmings imagine #h writes #asks #answered #wonderlandiswhereitsatyo #5sos #5sos blurb #5 seconds of summer #luke 5sos

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stevesnailbat · 4 years

Text

waiting for (another) girl like you | steve harrington x wheeler!reader

summary: Steve didn’t plan on falling in love with his ex-girlfriend’s little sister, but shit happens.

warnings: angst, past trauma, self-doubt, mentions of death

word count: 2.3K

a/n: this fic was inspired by the ST1 scene where Steve and Nancy were in his bedroom bc waiting for a girl like you by foreigner is one of my favorite songs at the moment and it played during that scene. it might be a little dumb but i enjoyed writing it so enjoy! also the gif used isn’t mine, it’s from google :)

It wasn’t unusual for the Wheeler household to have family dinner on Sunday with the whole family and the kid’s boyfriends and girlfriends. Most of the time, the dining room was filled with happy chatter amongst everyone at the table. The table was still happy for the most part, but it was different for Steve and Y/N this time.

Steve wasn’t sure what was wrong, but Y/N had been dead silent since they started dinner. He felt like he had done something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. She could feel him glancing over to her every few minutes as she stared at her half-eaten food that she lost interest in. She knew he was confused but so was she.

“Y/N, are you alright? Aren’t you hungry, sweetie?” Karen asked from across the table, making everyone look in her direction.

“I’m—I’m fine! I’m really not hungry, that’s all.” she replied quickly, giving her mom a small smile even though she knew she could see right through it.

Her mom gave her a knowing look before turning back to Holly, who was tapping her shoulder frantically. Y/N couldn’t bring herself to look up at Steve, but she knew he was still looking down at her. She nearly winced when his hand reached for her thigh, giving her a comforting squeeze as he finally looked away. It was killing him that he didn’t know what was wrong, but he didn’t want to start something in the middle of a family dinner that could potentially end poorly.

The only thing on Y/N’s mind during dinner was Steve and Nancy, and the fact that she felt like a second pick to her sister in anything and everything. It was enough to make her appetite go away. She couldn’t look at him or her sister without feeling sick, her stomach tying itself into a tighter knot with every minute.

The rest of dinner felt like it took an eternity, and she only stared at her plate for the rest of the time. Steve tried to carry on a conversation with Jonathan while dinner finished up, but Y/N’s sad demeanor was distracting. She was the first to leave the dinner table, excusing herself without letting anyone know. She rushed up the stairs and into the bathroom she shared with Nancy, sliding her back down the wall to sit on the floor next to the toilet.

For the first time all night, she let out a quiet sob. Her thoughts made her dizzy and she felt like she couldn’t see straight, purely out of anger and spite. She knew she didn’t have much of a reason to be so upset, but the thoughts of Steve settling for her had been eating away at her mind for days.

A small knock on the door made her jump as she choked on another sob, her full attention going in that direction.

“Y—Yes?” she said, trying to make herself sound as put together as she could in the situation.

“Y/N, it’s me.” Steve said from the other side of the door, his ear on the door to hear her. “Can I come in?”

“No! Don’t!” she yelled, blocking the door handle quickly as she heard him sigh in frustration. “I—I think you should just go home, Steve. I don’t feel good right now.”

“You felt fine earlier, seriously, Y/N. What’s wrong?” he insisted, but got radio silence in reply. “Well, if you don’t want to tell me, I’ll just wait out here until you decide to let me in.”

“S—Steve, just go home, please.” she whimpered, leaning against the door as she spoke through it.

“I told you, I’m not going home! I’m not leaving you when you’re upset, even if you won’t tell me what I did wrong.” he said, settling down on the floor outside of the bathroom. “I’ll wait for you, even if it means I’m out here all night.”

In that moment, she hated how good of a boyfriend Steve actually was. She felt like she was punched in the gut when he suggested that he did something wrong but couldn’t figure out what it was because she knew he was eating himself alive about. She didn’t really know why she was even mad at him, but she couldn’t help it. Steve truly was wracking his brain for any small details of what he could’ve done wrong in the last day, but couldn’t think of anything. On one side of the door, Steve listened to his girlfriend struggling to hold back sniffles and small sobs. On the other side of the door, Y/N was listening to the words for Waiting for a Girl Like You replay in her mind.

Minutes turned into an hour as they sat on the floor, neither of them daring to acknowledge the person on the other side of the door. Jonathan and El were gone by this point and Mike was in the basement while Karen was trying to get Holly to bed finally. Nancy walked up the stairs to see Steve leaned against the bathroom door, a feeling of guilt running through them both.

“She won’t come out.” Steve sighed when Nancy gave him a sympathetic smile.

Nancy only shrugged when he looked in her direction, not wanting to upset the girl on the other side of the door who was listening intently. Steve ran his hand through his hair and leaned his head against the door as Nancy walked into her bedroom, listening for any sign of Y/N wanting to come out.

“Y/N, please. I just want to talk! We can talk, right?” he pleaded.

“We can talk right here.” she said bluntly as she stared at the wall in front of her, not wanting him to see her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes.

“No, please, baby.” he begged, reaching up for the door handle but stopping himself from trying to open it. “I want to see you, I can’t understand what’s going on unless I can talk to you face-to-face.”

The other side of the door was silent for a moment while Y/N thought about what to do next. She knew how stubborn Steve was, and she knew he wasn’t giving up any time soon. It was useless for her to tell him to leave again, even though she was afraid to tell him how she really was feeling. But, she pushed past her doubts and opened the door, curling up into herself as she did to hide her face.

“I can talk to you face-to-face if you won’t look at me.” Steve joked, nudging her arm softly. “Please look at me. What’s going on?”

“It’s stupid.” she mumbled. “It’s just a bunch of bullshit.”

“W—What?” Steve stammered, taken aback by the word bullshit being muttered to him by another Wheeler sibling.

“This! It’s stupid! Pretending like I don’t think about you dating Nancy? Pretending like I believe that you love me? Pretending like everything’s okay?” she said, finally looking up at him as she threw her arms in defeat. “Do I look like everything’s okay?”

“No—No, you don’t. But I—“

“Are you over Nancy?” she asked abruptly, watching him cautiously.

“Of course I am!” he said immediately, making her sigh in relief that he didn’t take a second thought.

“Do you still love her?” she questioned, the words harder to force from her throat this time.

“No. No. I don’t.” Steve said desperately while staring at her as she stared blankly at the wall in front of her, emotionless. “I love you.”

“Today when we were on the way to my house for dinner, that—that Foreigner song that I love was playing, Waiting for a Girl Like You. I was trying to remember who showed me the song, but I just—I just couldn’t remember for the life of me. But then, you turned the radio station and I saw the look on your face. You looked sad, like someone had just killed a puppy in front of you.” she began, not daring to look at him as she spoke. “That’s when it clicked, Nance showed me that song two years ago. She played it every damn day after things were good again.”

“Y/N, I don’t—“ Steve started, but she held her hand up to cut him off.

“I want to finish, Steve.” she sighed and he nodded quickly, recoiling against the wall. “That was the song you played for her when you guys—you know—did whatever on that night she snuck over with Barb. She was so in love with that song because it was so special for you guys, she told me that she’d never stop listening to it. But—But she did stop. And when she did was when she realized she fell out of love with you. But you—you never fell out of love like she did. You loved her until the end and—and you hate that song because you think that maybe there’s a possibility that you still love her, not me. I was just the closest thing you could get to her.”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh under his breath as he shook his head. As much as he wanted to deny it, she wasn’t completely wrong. He didn’t realize that he had continued laughing until he looked up to see the broken expression on his girlfriend’s face.

“Why are you even laughing right now?” she asked, shaking her head as she watched the small smile fall from his face.

“Because—I don’t know, honestly. Maybe because you’re halfway right?” he said, not knowing the answer to his own question. “But, not about still being in love with Nancy, of course. I don’t love her and I haven’t for a while now. I do hate that song, though. But it’s because it reminds me of the last time that my life was good.”

The words bit into her heart like a goddamn demogorgon, hungry to hurt her in any way possible. Steve didn’t mean it in the way that she took it, though. She could tell he didn’t by the look on his face, so she stayed quiet while he paused to take a hitched breath.

“It was that night that I thought my life was on the up and up, but it really wasn’t. It went to shit after that day. We—we killed Barb—“

“You didn’t kill her—“

“Yeah, we didn’t kill her. But we let that thing, that monster, take her because I was stupid and didn’t think of anybody but myself because I was an asshole. Then everything went downhill and my girlfriend fell out of love with me, I didn’t even notice but you know why?” he asked bitterly and she shook her head. “Because I was still holding onto what I thought I had with her. But I was really just holding onto that god-forsaken night, the last night when everything my life alright. And I’d listen to that song too, even after the end I did. When I stopped listening to it was when I realized I had found better things, when I found you.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” she seethed, clenching her jaw to hold herself together.

“But I’m not! Once Nancy broke things off, I—I believed that nothing would ever go right for me. Everyone thought everything was fine, right? Because I had to put on a show for the sake of my family.” he confessed.

His voice finally showing signs of pain as he spoke this time, but he didn’t want to hold back. He was rambling at this point, but it was comforting for both of them in some odd way. His sanity was hanging on by a thread that unraveled just a little more with every tear she let slip, but they were slowing down now.

“I acted like things were okay and held onto that damn night like my life depended on it. Because after that night, I became the best damn actor, I became the best stupid, happy teen boy that Hawkins had ever seen; I even believed the act I was putting on.” he sighed, leaning his head against the wall to stare at the ceiling.

“You were looking for a distraction from your acting and I was convenient.” she replied quietly. “The naïve little sister of your ex who wouldn’t take a second glance at the bigger picture of how stupid it all was, right?”

“No—No. You weren’t convenient at all, really.” he laughed, reaching to graze his fingertips across her knuckles. “It wasn’t easy when everyone was telling me it wasn’t worth it, that it’d be too weird to try to even talk to you, that you probably didn’t want me like I wanted you. But I didn’t listen because I saw that look in your eyes when you smiled at me, you looked happy and—and like you wanted to be with me; I ignored everyone because I knew it was worth it. So no, you weren’t convenient. You were far from it, you kinda still are. I think you’re worth it.”

She still stared at the wall in front of her as she let his words process in her mind, the feeling of his fingers against her knuckles soothing her. He watched as she tore herself apart inside, trying to find her own answers.

“You know you’re not my second choice, right?” he interjected, making her eyes flicker in his direction as he squeezed her hand. “If Nancy wanted me back, I wouldn’t care. I know she came first, but that doesn’t mean shit. I didn’t realize that you were right in front of me and that you’d bring so much happiness to my life.”

“You’re so cheesy.” she scoffed as her heart fluttered when he smiled in her direction.

“It’s true! I swear, it really is, Y/N. I love you.” he said as he moved towards her, taking her head in his hands to look into her eyes.

“I love you too, Steve.” she said softly, smiling at him for the first time all night as she leaned over to kiss him softly.

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golbrocklovely · 3 years

Text

i'm gonna rant about my job for a hot minute, so don't mind me.

the one manager that i work with the most went off on us today bc she got in trouble. the reason why she got in trouble was bc one of my coworkers reported her to the DM bc of her behavior towards all of us, but specifically stuff that happened on saturday.

i didn't realize how long this was gonna be, so i'm gonna put a divider.

that being said, if you wanna know the hot gossip about my work environment, come on in and read lol

i realize i need to name everyone, otherwise this might get confusing.

terrible manager: A

coworker #1: X

coworker #2: J

coworker #3: K

we got it? cool beans.

first off, i need you to understand why A is so terrible. it's not dumb stuff like 'she works us too hard' or whatever. there are legitimate reasons i, and everyone else at my store, dislike her.

here are some of the things my manager has done:

- made J have a panic attack and had to clock out early for break bc of it

- said to me 'oh, you must be in a better mood than yesterday. you're not as much of a smartass today.' (also, i literally wasn't a smartass to her at all the day before. i was in a pissed off mood bc i didn't want to be at work and i complained about the customers. i literally never spoke to her that day.)

- called K a bitch to her face

- has talked to all of my younger coworkers (most of which are only 20 max and younger than her oldest daughter) about her bf who is on the sex offender list

- she also sees no problem with it bc it happened back when he was in his 20s and she plays off why he's on the list as if it's not serious

- has also told us that cps has been called on her multiple times and she sees nothing wrong with that weirdly

- talks terribly about her own children. like, it's like she hates them the way she speaks of them.

- gave me corona (she got it first and we work the same shifts all the time)

- did not go thru the proper channels to tell corporate about her getting covid, and then on top of that came back earlier than suggested

- constantly undermines us by asking us if what we have as backstock can go out, as if we haven't spent our whole 8 hr shift doing just that

- now, since knowing J has anxiety, will constantly patronize him by saying 'i don't want to give you too much, i don't want to upset you'

- during the holidays when our new staff that came in, she never learned their names and called them all 'you' and when was called out about it shrugged it off

- sent one of them home bc they wanted to eat their noodles first (he was hungry bc he came from a different 8 hr shift) while being clocked in, even tho there are plenty of times i've eaten at the beginning of my shift and so have other managers as well

there's probably about a hundred other things i could tell you, but this is just some of the complaints i've heard or witnessed myself.

on saturday, the reason why X reported A to the DM was bc she told J to take out the trash instead of helping us with the palettes (we work freight in case you didn't know). when X complained about it, and questioned why J couldn't just do it later after the palettes, A wouldn't listen. eventually, when i stepped away, A came up to X and ripped the scanner away from her and told her 'i'll do the palettes since you won't stop bitching.' (and mind you, she should have been helping with the palettes, but she never really does unless direly necessary)

that was enough for X, who decided to leave and then report A to the DM. A got in trouble with our GM too.

now that you're caught up, let me tell you what A is now going to start enforcing (she claims these are corporate policies that we need to start following):

- no more headphones in before the store is open. if we listen to music it has to be all the same music and it must bc PG (bc we work at a toy store basically)

- no leggings, ripped jeans, sweatshirts, or anything that covers the logo on our uniforms.

- if we take out trash, we all collectively go out together

- we will go together and do each section in our store instead of being separated and doing each section on our own

- if we are going to have a phone convo, if it is longer than 5 mins, we must clock out and take our break

and if we don't listen to what she says, we will get written up.

now, the only reason she is laying into these """rules""" now is bc she got in trouble and she's being spiteful.

do you wanna know what that got her? K and J left at the same time this morning and then K quit. i and X stayed bc we want the hours.

she's gonna make everyone leave a store that we've all been working at for years. the other managers have heard our complaints and have even complained along with us and... they don't care. they just want us to keep the peace, even at our own expense of dignity and respect.

so... i'm gonna be looking for a new job (with benefits) asap bc... fuck this place. i've had my own problems before with here but decided to stick them out, but i'm not gonna deal with a women who literally has a sexual offender as a bf degrade me bc she likes a power trip for whatever reason. i'm not her child and i will not handle her like i am one, if you know what i'm saying.

okay, sorry how long this was. hope this was an enjoyable read lol

#personal #text #good god this is long so sorry about that #but if you're in the mood for a read... lol

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lovelymaybankk · 4 years

Text

cant do anything - jj maybank

req: no

#1 angst: I can’t do anything right

w.c: 1.641

tw: mentions of abuse, death, swears, mentions of beer & drugs

a/n: i love jj sm. and im dying my hair pink tehe. also this ones in lowercase bc im lazy. this is rlly bad

it wasn’t odd for jj and y/n to sleepover anywhere but their own houses. they both dealt with their own fair share of shit, desperately doing anything to never be home. though they never talked about it, they knew they were both going through the same things. y/n would have bruises around her hips and ribs, while jj normally had them on his stomach or even around his spine.

so currently, the two were laid out on the dock beside john b’s house. they were silent, jj sitting up first. its been atleast two weeks since jj had even seen his father. and even though he was a dick, no matter how hard he would try he still found love somewhere in his heart for the man. y/n glanced at him, wondering why he had gotten up. so she matched his sitting position, but instead faced the boy.

“what’s wrong?” y/n asked, legs crossing as her hands went to her knees. she looked peaceful, brushing hair behind her ear.

“i should go home.” jj sighed, not wanting to but he needed to see how his father was. honestly, he knew he shouldn’t go home. he should go as far away from home as possible. but something in him told him he needed to go home. there was a pit in his stomach that he couldn’t explain, using his hands to push himself up and off of the dock.

y/n’s eyebrows furrowed, again matching the boy and standing. “what?” she asked, looking at the taller as if he had two heads. jj shrugged, letting out a heavy sigh. he knew what y/n would say, ‘you’re crazy, hes insane!’ but jj turned on his heel, not responding to his best friend.

y/n trailed behind him, basically interrogating the boy, “i have a bad feeling.” jj finally responded, going inside the chateau. the girls head shook, letting a breath out she didn’t know she was holding.

“you’re probably just hungry. you haven’t eaten recently,” y/n commented, grabbing the boys bicep to stop him. he shook out of her grip, opening the door to the empty room where they had been staying.

“jj,” y/n sighed, leaning against the door frame as she watched her best friend grab his bikes helmet. “you know what hes gonna do.” they had an unspoken rule, never bring up the others home life. the comment that she made made jj stop, looking at her with angry eyes.

“you don’t know shit.” jj snarled, but she did. they both knew what was going to happen. he pushed past her, shoes clicking loudly on the wooden floorboards.

john b entered the house from the deck, staying silent as he watched his two best friends seemingly argue. his arms crossed, tutting to himself as he left to leave them by themselves.

“yes, i do.” y/n argued, now getting angry. he had never wanted to go home, but now he did? “i know your dad.” she seethed, chasing jj as he left the house and walked to his bike.

“god, y/n. lay off. alright? i don’t have a good feeling. i’ll be back soon, holy shit.” jj snapped, putting on the helmet as he sat on the motorbike. y/n stopped a few feet away.

“ok.” she huffed, watching him speed off. y/n rolled her eyes, turning and going to meet the rest of the group on the deck. “that boy is gonna kill himself.” she took a seat beside kie, arms crossing.

“what happened?” pope questioned, leaning back and crossing his arms. y/n shrugged, not even knowing to be honest. one minute they were fine, next minute y/n cared to much and jj got all prissy on her.

jj drove angrily to his house, not even knowing why it mattered. y/n had pissed him off, asking to many questions. he hates questions. especially from the girl who he loves. likes. he never accepted his feelings, face heating up at the thought of loving her. without knowing, he sped up, taking a sharp turn into his driveway and stopping.

why had he come home? jj’s breath shortened, stopping the bike and getting off. his foot tapped against the dirt below him, tossing down the helmet. he slowly walked towards the house, entering quietly. “dad?” jj called out, trying to stay silent.

no answer. the next thing jj knew, he was walking into the living room. his breath stopped. his dad was on the couch, empty beer bottles discarded around him. normally, he would think he passed out. but his chest laid still, body looking almost pale. jj knew what happened. his heart felt like it stopped.

his dad. the piece of shit he grew up. his only guardian. was dead. on their couch. jj fell to the ground, knees shaking. he couldn’t breathe. everything felt numb.

it had been two weeks since the group had seen jj. over time, everybody just became more than nervous. so today, they finally decided to see him.

john b got out of the van first, his heart beating in his ears. he slammed on the door, not caring if jj’s dad heard him. “jj!” he screamed, hands turning red from how hard he was hitting the door.

y/n wasn’t far behind, putting her hand on john b’s shoulder. the other two followed them, hearing shuffling behind the door. the door swung open, revealing a definitely high jj. they all let out a breath, y/n pushing past john b and wrapping her arms around the taller. he shrugged her off, looking at her with confusion.

“hey guyss,” jj slurred, almost falling over. he seemed thinner. had he been eating?

“oh jj,” kie let out a soft sob, doing what y/n had done and hugging him. but only, she wasn’t shrugged off. y/n felt a heartache, body seeming to shake. “where the fuck have you been?” kie pulled out of the hug, feeling the stares from her friends.

jj shrugged, opening his arms to show the messy house. “here.” he continued to slur, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open. “when i came homee..” he struggled with words, eyes tearing up at the though of the memory. “i had a baaaddddd feelin’.” the pogues could barely tell what he was saying.

“and i was riht.” jj muttered, rubbing his eyes. “my dad died.” he said in a soft voice, and everybody stopped. the air went thick. of course, the drunk boy didn’t notice. he fell over onto the floor, john b quick to move and grab him.

hours later, jj woke up from his slumber. his head pounded, ears ringing. everything around him was fuzzy, he could just barely make out a figure infront of him. as his eyes refocused, he noticed the figure to be y/n. he sat up immediately, running his hands through his hair as he watched girl slumped over herself, head handing low as she seemed to be asleep.

as jj moved, y/n woke up quick. “holy shit,” she let out a heavy breath, hands shaking as she got up to hug him. jj leaned into the touch, staying silent as he listened to her breathing. “i thought you died.” y/n mumbled, concern growing for the boy. he didn’t seem to be high or drunk anymore.

“i’m sorry,” jj didn’t want to let his emotions get the best of him. but watching his dad get taken away two weeks ago, leaving him alone left him broken. he didn’t want to be fixed. he barely ate during those two weeks, drinking mainly vodka and beer, abusing the powers of weed and his juul. he wasn’t healthy, but again, he didn’t want to be fixed.

“i just- i was so worried.” y/n stayed in the hug, refusing to let go. she pulled away after a few minutes, sitting at where his feet were. “why didn’t you tell us?” she questioned softly, hand resting on where the boys calf was.

“i felt so weak.” jj admitted, his stomach churning. “i just- i couldn’t move. i couldn’t talk. i should’ve-” he finally broke down, the happy face that y/n remembered hadn’t been there for two weeks. tears quickly ran down his face, pooling at the chin before dropping onto his shirt and soaking it. “i can’t do anything right. if i wasn’t such a fuck up this wouldn’t have happened.” jj sobbed, hands covering his face as his knees pulled to his chest.

jj couldn’t breathe. his breath shortened, his heart seemed to speed up. y/n moved quickly, cooing softly at the boy as she pulled him into a hug. they stayed like that for a little, y/n comforting the boy as he let out all of his emotions until he felt empty. he stopped crying, rubbing his eyes.

“are you okay?” y/n asked, her hand going onto his knee. he stayed silent, and from that she knew her answer. “jj, im gonna be honest. i was worried sick. the moment you stormed out i was so confused, maybe even heartbroken.” she let out a soft, sad chuckle. jj pulled his head up, connecting their eyes. “you’ve always been there for me. you mean the world to me in ways i don’t think you fully understand. i have to say this now.” she wanted to distract the boy, because thats what she was best at, “i love you.” y/n looked in his eyes for any emotion, but she couldn’t tell what he was feeling.

jj grabbed her cheeks with his hands, pulling her close and closing the small gap between them. y/n was shocked, but soon leaned into the touch.

jj’s mind was occupied, realizing. shit, i coulda been doin this longer?

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elysianslove · 3 years

Note

OH THEY'RE LIKE THIS....MATTE BRONZE-Y THING...you'd think with how much i draw i would actually know how to describe colors well but n o p e. but yeah that's how i'd describe it, my grandma saw it and was like "isn't this old, why does it look rusty" PLS

tsumu w glasses!!!!!!!!! is very hot!!!! sexy!!!!!!! i'm heating up just thinking about it!!!!! i was v thirsty for osamu today but then i remembered this and. and. 🥺🥺🥺🥺 tsumu 🤲 i want tsumie 🤲🤲🤲

also that sucks, esp since it was out of ur control >:( i'd be pissed;;; but also i hope you don't beat urself too much over it :( i'm sure you can still pull ur grades up next time!! also maybe ur profs should be more considerate in case things like that happen again </3 BUT YAY I'M GLAD IT WENT WELL FOR YOU!!! will u have time to rest a bit now?? hopefully u do, i feel like you've been pretty busy :o please do sleep once u have free time!!!!!!!!! make that headache go away!!!! shoo shoo

ALSO LIKE I SAID BEFORE PLS RANT AWAY...I LOVE READING WHAT U HAVE TO SAY!!!!! PLEASE KEEP DOING IT!!! and my day was,,,kinda okay, tho ngl i'm a bit irritated bc uh it's our first day holding classes for this one subject and our professor basically had us do a research paper 😃 which was due on the same day 😃 thankfully though i have great friends and it was a group project but still!!!!! it's literally the first day and we have other classes too, but we ended up using most of our time working on that 😔 it just sucks because i was looking forward to drawing today but alas </3

anw ily miss sal and i rly hope you're taking care of yourself!! this got super long again i hate myself omg 💀 —🦊

IM SORRY PLS I SAW THIS AND I THOUGHT I REPLIED BUT???? I REPLIED IN MY HEAD????? THE FUCK FHKSJHFKS ANYWAYS IM SORRY

BUT

pls your glasses sound so beautiful <3333 they’d go so well with tsumu, esp cause his eyes <3333

but yeah that thing that happened w my quiz really did suck, but my professor is really kind and is trying her best to try to think up something to help us make this up somehow. ALSO ???? A RESEARCH PAPER??? DUE ON THE SAME DAY??? pls research is so hectic you never realize just how time consuming it is until you have to do it </3 so i feel for you, and i’m v sorry, but i’m still very proud you pushed through!!! and it’s okay, just give yourself a pat on the back for being hella productive n working on ur assignment <333

and i have been pretty busy :((( which sucks because i really really wanna write and come interact with you guys but by the time i’m done with all my work i’m literally zapped and drained of all energy and mental will to do ANYTHING it’s so exhausting i swear :( doesn’t help that i’m a huge workaholic that i can completely forget to do basic things to take care of myself like literally will forget that i haven’t eaten in over 15 hrs 🧍🏻‍♀️ PLS IM RAMBLING AGAIN IM SORRY

anyways i love you so much more and i hope you’ve been taking care of yourself too!!! also never complain for any of your asks being long i love you and talking to you sfm >:( <3333

#asks #sal speaks <3

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dontgotothenetherworld · 4 years

Text

ap psychology

anonymous asked: Can I request readers putting all her studying off till the week before AP exams and she starts studying an unhealthy amount, like sometimes forgetting to eat all day because of it and even made herself sick from stress over it but reader refuses to complain because she did it to herself and Lydia's just there helping her review and making sure she takes time to care for herself ect? Bonus if Reader thinks she did bad and Lydia assuring her she did fine and has an 'i told you don't moment?

anonymous asked: Totally didn't request that bc that's my situation-

for some reason when i tried to queue this w/ the original ask, tumblr wanted to put the cut in the ask and i couldn’t delete it

this is out of date now, but i was uninspired to write for a hella long time sorry. also! i’m going to draw from my experiences w/ ap this year, and the only ap exam i had to take was psych, so that’s also going to be the case for reader :)

also, i feel like my lydia is a bit out of character? idk it’ll probably take a while to get back to the way i used to write her.

1303 words

cw: femreader. food

you cursed under your breath. months ago, months! you told yourself you would start studying for your ap exam. you only had the one exam to study for, so you told yourself that if you just did a little bit everyday, you would be fine.

but here you were, about three days until your ap psychology exam, and you hadn’t studied any of it. you had hardly even watched the videos your teacher had posted as the digital learning content. but to be fair, the stuff he was talking about in them were the last unit or two of psych, and you wouldn’t have to worry about them, because you weren’t going to be tested on them.

you groaned and dragged your feet downstairs, to where you hid your backpack. the friday weeks ago, when your school told everyone that classes would go digital for a few weeks because of the coronavirus, your teacher had come prepared. he gave everyone that showed up to class, which, granted, wasn’t that many but still- a huge packet covering everything that you had studied this year. it was some forty pages long.

okay, it was, like, thirty five because you crossed out the pages about personality and disorders. which was a shame, because those are the units that everyone takes psychology to learn about. no one goes, “oh boy, i can’t wait to learn about how to test if a baby has depth perception!” or “i can’t wait to learn about all the different types of visual illusions!” but whatever.

you flipped to page thirty five, to see how many questions you were in for. just over 250, except that’s counting all the charts as individual questions. yeah, that makes sense. one and a half pages of listing what researchers discovered what is equivalent to answering which cortex of the brain processes visual stimuli.

wait a minute. lydia was also taking psych. studying sucks, but if you could do it with your girlfriend, that’d be so much less painful.

you texted her, “hey lyds, have u finished the psych packet yet?”

”yea i finished it yesterday, why?” she texted back almost immediately.

shit. looks like you’ll have to suffer through this alone. “nvm”

you looked at the time, 1:46. damn, already? it felt like you had only just woken up. you made yourself a coffee, and set up shop on the desk you have never used in your bedroom, with laptop open beside you. you planned on googling everything, rather than going through your notes, mostly because you forgot where you put them, but this would still take ages.

an hour passed, and you felt like you were dying on the inside. if you had to answer one more question about behavioral psych, you were going to scream. behavioral psych is by far the worst part of psychology! watson and skinner be damned! people are people not some computer code! people have feelings! you can’t just ignore them! and the feeling you were feeling right now was not a good one!

you wanted to stop, but you weren’t sure if you stopped now if you’d be able to finish the packet. so you kept on going.

you went another five hours, taking five minute tik tok breaks every hour to keep you sane. you looked at the clock, and realized you hadn’t eaten anything today. you grabbed a box of cheez-its and made your way back upstairs, and went back to work. this time, you ate a cheez-it every time you finished a question, or you filled out a row in a chart.

you didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you woke up in the morning with about half the packet filled out. considering the exam was in one day, and four-ish hours, you thought that was good.

as you made your morning coffee, you checked the messages lydia had sent you. “are you doing okay? normally we talk a lot but…” “wait, are you working on the study guide?” “y/n! please take breaks! remember! you need food!” “and water!”

you sent back, “if i eat my cheez-its, and i drink my coffee while i study, then i don’t have to take breaks.”

you went back to your desk, and plugged your phone in across the room so you wouldn’t be distracted. but also because you forgot to charge it before you passed out, so it was at three percent, because apparently you had kept it open to tik tok all night, and the video just kept looping. oops.

for a while, the studying seemed easier. you felt like you had less to do, and you didn’t need to worry about getting it done in time, because you had more than enough of it. but because you didn’t need to rush, you became more productive.

you finished the second half of the packet by six that evening. you do admit, you got a bit lazy in the last few pages, but it was done!

shit. studying isn’t just writing stuff down, you have to read it over, right? you don’t really study that much.

but you decided to take an hour or two’s break for… breakfast? dinner? maybe even lunch? whatever, leftover pizza, because you had just only now just realized the intense rumbling in your stomach.

you checked your phone for the first time in hours. you were actually kind of proud of yourself. you usually were on your phone every waking hour, which was probably a problem, but you had shown enormous restraint… by spending every waking hour staring at your laptop. it’s all about choosing your battles.

you quickly dismissed some twitter notifications before tapping on a new message from lydia. “babe, i’m getting really worried about you, please call me when you see this.” you furrowed your brows. worried? about you? why?

you called lydia, and she picked up nearly immediately.

”y/n!” she gasped with relief, “don’t do that to me again!”

you felt stupid for wondering what she was talking about, but you kind of needed to know, “what do you mean?”

”you’ve been offline for hours, and i couldn’t get to you! and then when i heard what you were eating, that got me worried. have you eaten today?”

”three slices of pizza right now.” you swallowed a bite.

”is that your first meal today?”

”unless you count coffee, yeah. i’ll do better tomorrow, i promise. speaking of tomorrow, we’ve got the psych exam, and i need to keep studying. i’ll call after the exam, so like three?”

”y/n.”

”yeah?”

”you do realize this exam is online, right? and at home?”

”uh, yeah.” you swallowed.

”and you have both a laptop and a phone?”

”lydia, what are you saying?” cheating. she was definitely talking about cheating.

”i’m saying, that you don’t really need to know the definitions, because our dear old pal google can be there to help you out with those. and you’re smart, so i assume you know the concepts.”

”you think very highly, of me, my dear.” you took another bite of pizza. “so, what you’re saying is, i wasted two days studying?”

”yes, that is exactly what i’m saying.”

”shit. wait, why were you studying?”

”ugh, because i am nowhere near as good as you at being able to understand things.”

”you know, definitions explain the concept too.”

”what are you saying?” asked lydia.

”i think we’ve both wasted a lot of time studying when we didn’t need to.”

”fuck.” lydia breathed.

”yeah, we’re both idiots. do you wanna watch something on netflix? you haven’t finished parks and rec yet, right?”

”no, i just finished an episode before you called me.”

”which one?”

”season four, episode seven.”