#I put far too much effort into what was supposed to be a funny gag

[mibexe]

Post this seal when they least expect it.

#tma #the magnus archives #magpod #my art #jonathan sims #jon sims #jarchivist #I put far too much effort into what was supposed to be a funny gag #please laugh #okay technically this isn't MEANT to be selkie jon but now that you're saying it... think of it however you want teehee #really i just wanted to redraw him as this image because I like baikal seals lol #when statement givers say he's all eyes they mean this /j

[apex-academy]

Chapter 6: The Decay of Our Lives (#12)

I make my rounds from task to task all evening, and Aidan has to remind me to sit down for a minute at some point. Even so, I’m pretty exhausted by the time 9:00 hits. At least the bedsheet “screen” seems to be holding up despite Ichiriki’s best efforts to not perform his task.

Despite our event being a movie, there’s no popcorn this time—trying not to think too hard about who made the last batches—just some fruit, veggies, and a nacho bar that no one with an appreciation of symmetry could stand if all the lights were still on. 

There were only so many matching containers in the kitchen, okay?

There’s also a big jug of hand sanitizer, in case anyone doesn’t want to take five more steps to go wash their hands in their dorm bathroom. Or someone else’s. Most of us are set up with chairs at our own doorways, but Kanagi’s apparently crashed Ichiriki’s to be a little closer to the screen. Tsunyasha’s room is even farther, but I think she’s more interested in watching the rest of us than the movie, anyway. Not sure what she’s got against the silver screen, but as long as she’s not stirring up trouble, I can’t complain.

Aidan and I ended up with front-row tickets, so he doesn’t have much issue getting people’s attention as he prepares to start the movie.

“It is now 9:00 PM, and our feature film will be beginning shortly!”

“First, I do want to thank everyone for coming, and for your cooperation in getting everything set up!”

“Should you need to take a break or start to nod off—well, your rooms are right there, nehe.”

“But, as far as what you can stand, I’m confident we can all enjoy this event if we only allow ourselves to.” 

“So, grab some food while we’ve still got it, and we’ll get this thing off the ground, shall we?”

Kanagi cheers, while Tsunyasha almost seems to consider a sporting and/or sarcastic clap before focusing on her food instead. Mahavir remains a few awkward paces back from his doorway, like he’s unsure if he’s supposed to have his door closed for this. Don’t think that’d be a great way to see the movie, though.

“Just allow ourselves to enjoy things, huh.”

I side-eye Ichiriki, but he’s busy... filing his nails? Sure, why not. Makes it easier on the rest of us if his concentration’s elsewhere.

At least, until he gets bored in a few minutes and starts complaining again.

Aidan whoops back, then makes sure he and his poof of hair are out of everyone’s way before hitting play. Despite a few ripples in the bedsheet Ichiriki put up, the picture and audio seem to be working just fine. Aidan’s chosen video opens with an airplane moving through the clouds.

How shocking.

I’m probably paying more attention to my food than the movie as it leads us into an airport. Not like things have gotten good yet. Just... a little weird.

We manage to make it a few jokes(?) in before Kanagi cackles loud enough to overcome the soundtrack.

“Did...”

“Did you actually get that pun? I wasn’t sure how well these would go with a Japanese audience.”

“Pff, nah, I totally don’t get it at all! I can just tell it’s funny, dude.”

“...Good enough!”

With that, we’re back to actually being able to hear the movie. It’s really not getting any less absurd. All right.

“........”

“This is SO unrealistic.”

Ah, there he goes. I check over my shoulder, but so far Ichiriki doesn’t seem to be up to any crimes besides eating nachos with a fork and knife.

We didn’t even bring silverware over? Why is...

I’m not gonna worry about it. It’s Ichiriki. If it fits whatever his thing is now, he’ll find a way.

“It most certainly is!"

“Like, why would you want it to be real crap? We already get that with, like...”

“...real crap.”

“But surely any departures from your sad, limited reality should be more glorious than this?”

“Tales of heroes, rather than...”

She shakes her head with an unenthusiastic gesture at the screen. I’m not sure what we missed there, but there sure are babies being thrown now. Amazing. This thing keeps oscillating between slapstick gags and extended-setup puns, and it’s hard to know what I should be paying attention to. Is there a plot?

“Not exactly as intellectual as I would have expected.”

“Hey now, some of those setups are quite clever!”

He makes a passing attempt to scoot towards me before deciding it’s too much effort. The gesture’s been made.

He lifts a hand near his mouth for his best stage whisper.

“And you know what? You’re allowed to laugh at stupid jokes, too.”

He mimes an elbow nudge that is both too far away and on the wrong side to actually reach me. Work with what he’s got, I guess.

“Thanks for the permission.”

“You’re very welcome! Use it well.”

“.........”

And back to the train wreck—plane wreck?—that is this movie. I guess it’s not terrible, just... Is there a plot yet?

We finally make it from the airport onto a plane when the camera focuses on some overhead service button labels. Simple enough English, just above something that is clearly not actual Spanish. The screen flicks back to the actual characters.

“Hey! HOW am I supposed to read a FOREIGN LANGUAGE that fast?!”

“Special training?”

“Oh no are we supposed to be reading.”

You... are at least reading the actual subtitles, right? Right?

“Well, we CERTAINLY aren’t if THAT’S all the time they’ll give us! UNBELIEVABLE!”

“Now, who’s this ‘they’ to whom you’re referring? Because...”

He pauses the movie—on a frame of a character looking even more nervous with the motion blur—and rewinds.

“...we have the technology to take as long as we need.”

He pauses on the text in question. The dorm hallway is infinitely quieter for a few moments.

“I STILL can’t read it! What GIVES?!”

“Yo, my name’s Ich, I’m 19 years old, and I never learned how to frickin’ read.”

“That fool is nineteen?”

“NO!!!”

Why is this happening.

“Er...”

A quiet but rough throat-clearing.

“If it’s of any assistance, I don’t believe that’s intended to be a faithful translation into... any existing language whatsoever.”

“So they MADE IT UP? Just for ONE movie? Who DOES that?!”

“That isn’t... precisely what I...”

“Oh, there’s a sequel, don’t worry!”

“I’m classifying that as a threat.”

“As you well should.”

Before this can devolve any further—I don’t know how it could, but with this team, anything is possible—he hits play again. Back to airplanes and flashbacks and whiplash every which way, with the whole bizarro tone being the only thing holding somewhat steady.

But none of us get up to leave. At least some people end up laughing from joke to joke—mostly Kanagi, but she’s been having a rough time of it. It’s nice to hear her back to normal.

Back to weird?

Anyway. It’s just a night of snorts and snickers, random interruptions that can’t take much away from a random movie, and general split attention between subtitles and congealing nacho cheese. I never burst out laughing, whether Aidan’s horribly disappointed in me or not, but a few moments catch me off-guard enough to get a good snort. 

By the time the movie ends, Aidan and Mahavir have already retreated into their dorms to various degrees in case they pass out, which they do. Ichiriki has successfully kicked Kanagi out of his own room by virtue of shutting the door behind him when she went to grab a refill. She just booed at him and went to try Tsunyasha’s instead. 

I wander back to the refreshments table and try not to pass out myself as the menu screen loops. I should probably turn that off, or something. Not sure I care enough.

“.....”

I’m tired. Not because it’s what-even-o-clock now, though that sure isn’t helping. There’s just too much to worry about. One bizarre lighthearted movie night isn’t going to fix that.

“But it wasn’t a bad break.”

[BACK] [NEXT]

#apexplot #apex6 #fangan

[just-a-creep-babe]

What type of April fools pranks would the creeps pull

-tiny anon

I, ah, went more-so with how they act on April fools instead of what pranks they do, mostly just cause I’m bad at thinking of pranks :”)

ALSO I didn’t have much time to write this & I wanted it out by today, so it might not be as refined as my other writing 😳👉👈

Nonetheless, hope this is alright! ☺️💖

Masterlist: x

Slenderman

No pranks from him tbh

This tired eldritch dad is, unfortunately, probably gonna (unintentionally) get the brunt of most pranks—just cause he’s at the wrong place at the wrong time 😐😔

And, y’know, you would THINK that because he’s telepathic, he’d be able to get a read on what the lil shits are planning, right?

But nope

He never prods into the others’ brains unless he has a reason to (out of respect for their privacy), so he ultimately always ends up paying the price

It doesn’t help that he tends to forget humans have this specific tradition once a year

Otherwise, he probably WOULD peer into their minds to find out what they’re planning

It somehow just always sneaks up on him smh

There was maybe only one year that he just so ~happened~ to remember

And that was pretty much the only year he didn’t get fooled by anyone/anything ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jeff the Killer

Oh boy

One of the absolute worst people to get pranked by

When he combines forces with BEN?

The two are unstoppable

Pranks range from the classic slime-over-the-doorframe trick to some of the most innovative, dickish pranks he can think of

If only he used his powers for good 😔👊

He can & WILL flip the entire mansion around, if need be, to prank people

Nothing’s off limits if it means he gets to humiliate someone

(Even though he should know not to cross certain boundaries smdh)

He pretty much always ends up having to do EXTRA chores for Slender as a punishment for going too far :”)

BEN Drowned

My mans is part of the aforementioned chaos duo

Being a ghost entity that roams the internet, he happens to get ~plenty~ of ideas to fool the others with

He will legit spend WEEKS planning ahead for what he wants to do, how he wants to do it & how it’s all going to go down

Again, if only he used his powers for good :”)

This day of the year is, like, legit the one & only day he plans everything out to a tee

He’s usually a lazy boi™️ but no shortcuts are EVER to be taken on April fools

His fave victims include Masky (it’s funny to see him get so upset), Dark Link (I mean, he’s not gonna pass up an opportunity to embarrass his rival), and, surprisingly, Jeff

He LOVES turning the tables on his prank buddy

Jeff tries to get him back for it, but it’s very difficult to properly fool BEN 👀

Such are the perks of being a super smart internet-lurking ghost, I suppose 🤷‍♀️

Eyeless Jack

Eh, he’s not too keen on the whole thing

He considers himself a bit too mature to deal with that kind of “childish behaviour”

He’s not very fun to prank either, because A) he’s got super fast reflexes, B) he’s got heightened senses, and C) if the others somehow manage to catch him off guard despite that, he’ll just be like “ok cool” and carry on with his day

No Shits Given

Still, knowing how goddamn chaotic the mansion gets during this time of year, more often than not, he tends to make himself sparse

Either he locks himself up in his room, or he sticks around the creeps that also don’t like the tradition, or he leaves and goes,,, wherever he usually goes when he disappears from the mansion sometimes

On the rare occasion that he does stay behind, he might help one of the creeps to get their revenge on someone that pranked them

But only if he’s feeling particular playful that day, which doesn’t happen very often

Honestly, because he takes pity on Slender, if he comes back to the mansion being a mess, he’ll help clean things up

Overall a good boi that deserves some head pats for not turning into a goddamn monkey like the others smh

Masky

Masky is essentially the 2nd tired dad figure that has to deal with “this shit again,” as he puts it

Except, unlike Slender, the others aren’t scared of him, so he might ultimately get the worse brunt of it (even worse than what his boss gets)

Something about the way he reacts just makes for some ✨quality content✨ to the others

And, just because they can, they like to film him

It sucks for Masky, because not only does he get his ass handed to him, but then the others also get blackmail footage of him 😐😐

He hates it lmfaoo

Honestly considers hiding under a rock until the day’s over

But, somehow, they always manage to find him & drag him back out into the fray

This poor manses can’t catch a break

Someone help him please—he’s too tired to deal with this 😔🤘

Hoodie

I know we haven’t gotten to him yet, but Hoodie’s somewhere between Toby & EJ when it comes to the tradition

He’s relatively laid-back & won’t actively go out of his way to fool someone

But, hey, if there’s a prank to be had like right there, who’s he to not go for it?

His pranks tend to be relatively low effort—like a joke or a lie or something that tricks someone into believing something kinda stupid

His victim makes a fool of themselves, everyone has a good laugh, then the joke’s over & people move on

Albeit sometimes, the gag lasts longer than intended

Like that one year he convinced Toby that slugs can communicate telepathically because of all the fungus they eat

And Toby believed it for many months until Slender had to break the news to him 😔😔

Also, somehow?? homeboy’s damn near impossible to prank

Many have tried, all have failed—no one knows how he does it 🤷‍♀️

Ticci Toby

Prank time! Prank time! Prank time!

Boy fucking lives for the day he gets to have fun & mess around with the others

Every year most likely ends up with him getting injured, but hey, nothing new there :/

Unlike BEN & Jeff, he probably won’t turn the mansion upside-down (both figuratively and literally smh) to trick people 

He’s more-so in it for the goofs

Like he doesn’t actually wanna humiliate or embarrass anyone too badly, ya know?

He’ll recruit others & form a prank gang because he knows there’s strength in numbers 😌✨

And it’s an unspoken code that those in the prank gang can’t prank each other

So, honestly?

Toby might be the most wholesome April fools-er out of everyone :3

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #slenderman #Jeff the killer #Ben drowned #Ticci Toby #eyeless jack #masky #hoodie

[monsterfuneral]

sparks in the rain | bill and ted | ch. 2

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Coming Soon

Relationship: Poly!Bill and Ted x Fem!Reader

Summary: A malfunction with the booth lands Bill and Ted into the most peculiar situation they’ve been in, stuck in the year 2021 standing in front of a woman they never thought they’d meet. 

Words: 1.5

Warnings/Tags: nothing

Author’s Note: After like actually outlining this a little more, I think this story will end up being one of my favorites I’ve written.

REQUESTS OPEN | MASTERLIST

(please read my “I do NOT write” section before sending in anything <3)

---

This was the most unusual day for both Bill and Ted. Sure they had experienced mishaps with the booth, and sure they had also met people that they vaguely knew about. But they had never met someone that knew about them. Especially when it came to an on screen babe like Armageddon Lady, who had totally been Bill’s biggest crush for a majority of his teenage years. Not that he’d admit that to anyone other than Ted though. And here she was in the weirdest of coincidences, standing right in front of them. 

“What?” Ted asked dumbly as he heard the girl in front of them blurt their names. His brain struggled to keep up with the situation. 

“Dude she totally knows who we are somehow!” Bill said with an almost starstruck look on his face, his eyes sparkling in amazement. 

You stayed silent though, staring at them like a deer in the headlights. Your mouth agape as you, like Ted, tried to process what you was going on. While running into celebrities in the middle of your apartment complex was one thing that would never happen, seeing two movie characters that you liked standing just seven feet away from you was next to impossible… No it was impossible. 

You had to be dreaming still. A very vivid dream where you were going to the crafts store to pick up a new set of markers, before suddenly running into Bill and Ted of all people... In a dream. There was literally no other logical explanation. 

“Woah, you look like you’re going to hurl, Miss. Armageddon Lady, dude- babe.” Bill stumbled on his words like a nervous child talking to his first crush. Which honestly wasn’t far from the truth. 

“I- This isn’t real.” You concluded, finally removing your hand from inside of your purse and straightening your back. You were almost tempted to just turn around and walk back into your apartment, but you didn’t. Instead you thought over the jumbled words Bill had said to you, something sticking out more than anything else. “Why do you keep calling me that?” You asked, your brows drawing together as you looked at the blonde for answers who looked at you with widened eyes. 

Ted suddenly remembered something Rufus had told them not too long ago, alternative universes and whatnot, where things are different from their world but can also connect somehow. He talked about how sometimes the booth can malfunction and send them rocking into another circuit without them even noticing. That’s probably how they ended up here! 

“Bill... I don’t think we’re in our world anymore.” Ted chimed before Bill could even attempt to come up with a sufficient answer that would satisfy you. 

“What?” Bill asked, looking up at Ted. 

“Yeah! Remember the thing Rufus told us a few months back?” 

“Don’t over-tighten the guitar strings because they could break?” Bill answered, bringing up an entirely different conversation they had with Rufus. 

Ted shook his head looking behind his shoulder and to the still sparking booth “No dude! The whole alternate dimension thingy.” 

“OH YEAH!” 

You watched the both of them converse, your own brain still trying to catch up with the bizarre situation, still not entirely convinced this wasn’t a dream. You tried pinching your arm a few times, at least testing it out to see if that trick even worked, but you were still standing in the same place right in front of them. It was all so much to process at once and so early in the day, even though it may have been 11am, it was still too much. 

“So you really didn’t put in the wrong number then.” 

“I told you so Bill!” 

They paused, smiling at each other before both shouting “Excellent!” in unison before air guitaring. The action was all too familiar but unfortunately missed the overlapping guitar that would play when they did it. Both boys stared at each other for a second afterwards, beaming smiles still ontheir faces. Their stare lasted a beat longer than you were used to seeing on screen. 

A shiver wracked through your body, the jacket you had not shielding you from the cold that the rain brought like you had hoped it would. You clutched your arms, pulling them a little tighter to your chest. It only continued to solidify the fact that this was probably real and not a dream at all, like you had thought. I mean, sure you had considered the possibility of fictional universes being real, who hasn’t? But it was just a theory you played into half-heartedly but never considered it to actually be true. 

A hand waved in front of your face, jolting from your deep train of thought where everything you previously thought was impossible could be and it was just too much. Reality as you knew it was both expanding and collapsing all at the same time. 

“You good, other dimension babe?” Bill asked, a small smile on his face as you stared at him with wide eyes.

Ted tilted his head as he watched you curiously. Sure you looked like Armageddon Lady and her actress, but you were neither, you just looked like them. He had an easier time accepting this as a reality than you did though, already having his experience with the impossible. But you looked like you were about to explode from the overload of information. He felt sympathetic. He thought back to a conversation he had with Rufus a year after their first time traveling in the booth, remembering how Rufus told him how he had seen others cope with the discovery of time travel, how some people just could not handle the information and it literally drove them to insanity. Ted would feel like such a dick if that happened to you, even if he didn’t know you. 

“I-” You started, abruptly stopping as you tried to piece your words together “I think so?” You clutched the strap to your purse a little harder, blunt nails digging into the leather slightly “This is all just… A lot to process.” 

“That’s okay!” Ted reassured softly with a wide grin, his hair falling in front of his eyes slightly as he nodded and looked down at Bill who was also nodding along. 

Your fingers were starting to feel numb and you shifted on your feet for the first time since you were stopped in your tracks. Your knees felt stiff from not moving for so long and you were shaking a lot more than you thought, the cold starting to deep into your bones and making your teeth chatter. You were sure they weren’t feeling any better as they were both wearing short sleeved shirts, and Bill was wearing a crop top. 

“I know you guys don’t know me but it’s freezing out here and it’s supposed to get colder.” You said looking back at your apartment door, trying to draw your coat closer around you “Would you like to come inside? I can make some coffee-” You watched Bill pull a face at the mention of the bitter beverage “Or some hot chocolate, up to you.” 

“Sounds great.” Ted answered, glancing behind him once more at the booth before back at you, “Lead the way!” 

The warmth of your apartment was more welcoming than the quickly dropping temperature outside. The rain clouds had left the sky dark and your living room was close to being pitch black. You carefully maneuvered past the couch and over the bean bags that were carelessly strewn across the floor in front of the TV stand. You felt for the pull-chain underneath the lamp shade, the black tassels tickling against your forearm. Finally your fingers grasped around the thin chain, gently yanking it and letting the light finally fill most of the room. The large leg lamp glowed on the small table tucked in the corner of your living room. A lovely gag gift you had been rewarded on christmas a year or two before at a friend’s party. While A Christmas Story was very much an overplayed movie on the holiday’s and certainly not your favorite, you still enjoyed the gift. Finding it pretty cool that someone had gone through the effort of getting something like this as the winner’s gift.

“Woah...” One of the boy’s muttered from behind your couch. You turned around and gave them a small smile, walking over to the other side of the living room to turn on the other lamp so the room was fully lit up and you weren’t going to trip over your own feet by accident. 

“Pretty neat huh?” You asked, always finding people’s reactions to the infamous lamp rather funny.

They both looked at you simultaneously, their eyes sparkling in wonder.

“You’re so cool…” Ted whispered. 

You let out a quiet laugh, trying to push down the heat that had suddenly started to rise up your neck, to your cheeks, and finally finishing at your ears. Never in your life did you think you could be receiving praise from Ted Theodore Logan himself. This really felt like it was too good to be true. 

“Thanks.” You replied, turning your back to them so they didn’t catch on to your flustered state. “So, how about that hot chocolate?” You asked, walking over to the white cabinet that held your collection of mugs.

#bill bnt #ted bnt #bill and ted #bill s preston x reader #bill s preston imagine #bill s preston esquire #ted theodore logan x reader #ted theodore logan imagine #ted theodore logan #bnt imagine #bnt x reader #monster writes

[felswritingfire]

April Brain Rot #5

Prompts:

4. Adapt

(Detroit Become Human AU) Jack Howl x Reader

Summery: Jack turns deviant and murders your abusive father, now you're on the run, searching for a better future (and you meet some friends along the way).

TW: Violence; Blood; Broken bones mentioned; Mentions of abuse; Death (not reader or Jack); Emotional panic; Running away; Slight angst

Word count: 1,572

A note from Fel: I went feral when my last braincells decided to rub together and come up with this tbh (my girlfriend is my witness, I love her so much ;0;). I hope you enjoy! Because I had way too much fun writing this!

He had been a protector. He was doing what he was made to do. So why? Why did he feel like his circuits were about to overload when he stared at the mess of blood and fragmented bone that covered his closed fist. His ears flicked back at the sound of your labored breathing. Jack looked over his shoulder to see you leaning on your hands and arched legs trembling, the bloody nose and black eye with the dribble of blood leaking out the corner of your lips made him want to rip this man to shreds even more so than he had just done to him. He said the one thing that came to mind: “are you alright?”

The light on the side of his head blinked a yellow as your eyes drifted up to him. He waited for you, praying (an android praying- what a funny thought. Probably a malfunction of some sort) that you wouldn’t leave him. But, instead you looked at the bloodied face that was once your father and back to him before nodding your head slowly. “Y- yeah.”

“Are you positive? Your heart rate is still incredibly high.”

You nod again. “Yeah, Jack, I’ll… I’ll be ok.”

His eyes narrowed at you before he nodded and went to you, slow in his steps and gentle in the way he reached out to you. His ears flicked back at the sight of the blood smearing on your already bloodied clothes, drawing back for a moment. “May I pick you up?”

Your gaze grows watery the longer you look at him. A part of him fighting the urge to… panic? He wasn’t sure but the sense of distress was climbing in the back of his processor. “Please?” Your voice sounds so small as you hold your arms up to him like a child.

The android nods. He hooks his hands under your knees and your back, cradling you close to his chest.

The realization of what happened and what is going to happen weighs in his mind. He’d be considered a deviant for killing a man- an abusive man, but nonetheless he was human. He may end up adding to the end of the J-192 line that was slowly building against him already. He may have been a special edition android and one of a kind- but that doesn’t change what he’s done. And worst of all: he ripped your future straight from your hands (he can feel his chest cavity tighten at the thought, maybe he really needed repairs or he was more deviant than he thought he was).

Everything you worked so hard for- to escape you father by your own devices- and he’d gone and ruined it by snapping when that man had struck you far too many times in front of him. His processor is fuzzy on the details but he remembers how his sharp ears pick up on the sounds of bones caving in on themselves and wet squelch of blood beneath his fist.

As he went deeper into Detroit's streets he caught sight of a fire hydrant that was leaking water. He stopped by it, placing you gently on your feet before running his hands under it, the water turning pink as the blood ran down with it. He cupped his hands, pooling some water in his hands before gesturing with his head to lean down. You did, wincing when you moved too fast, he whined at you. “I’m ok, big guy.”

He nodded before gently splashing the water on your face, wiping the flaking blood off of your skin. His eyes sting with a wetness that he can’t quite place as he thinks (ha- what a funny word to pair with an android): this is how he repays you. After everything you’ve done for him: watching over him when you father had bought him; sharing your hobbies with him no matter if he didn’t understand; always talking with him despite him telling you that you didn’t have to; staying by his side as he began to act… strange: feeling his chest warm when he saw you, the way his face would flush if you got too close to him. He began to feel human and you were helping him learn how to be.

“I’m sorry.” He says suddenly as he pats your face with the bottom of his shirt.

“Why?”

“I should have never asked to kiss you, then you-” he felt himself shudder- “you would have never had to experience that.”

“Jack,” you whisper, resting your hands against his face. “If you asked me- I would do it all over again.”

Jack blinked, his light flickering between a yellow and a red. “... Why?”

“Why did you do what you did?”

“I didn’t want him hurting you! I-I…” he trailed off. Why did he do what he did? He had felt an awful rage build under his skin when he had been witness to it before- but he had never disobeyed the command to stay. That wasn’t supposed to be in his programming. But he had felt something so profound- so molten hot in his chest that he had to protect you because- because- “I would die without you.”

You smile, pressing your palm against his trembling chest. “And I’d die without you.”

He pulls you into a hug, holding the back of your head as he presses his nose against your hair. He can do this. He can do this if you’re by his side.

************************************************************************

It had been a long time of ducking into abandoned buildings and shoplifting food (though Jack wasn’t too thrilled about that- you had learned that he was rather firm on the laws if stealing wasn’t a necessity to you two) but you had stayed together through it all. You had even found two more deviants: Leona and Ruggie.

They had decided to join you two after they almost mugged you and you had hit Leona with a pipe that didn’t do much to the android. He laughed and laughed after that, having to hunch over at how hard he was laughing. Ruggie began to join in and now you were stuck with the two of them as you and Jack made your way out of the city. Jack was quite snippy with them at first, always glowering at the two and barring his fangs when they got too close. Ruggie had come to find this as a sort of game, throwing a casual arm over your shoulder as you talked or pressing his face against yours while explaining that he used to be a ‘nanny droid’ (as he liked to put it). Jack would press between you two, glowering down at the hyena android who just laughed his funny little laugh as he slinked away.

Leona had simply found it as a perfect opportunity to mess with the wolf as he would press his fingers against the back of your neck or would rest his chin on your head when you were busy counting your supplies. Jack would growl at him, shoving against him to take his place of standing behind you.

Though, he grew a profound respect for Leona when he let it slip that he used to be a bodyguard. “Had to watch this annoying brat. It was awful, he never let me rest.” (he might say that, but on more than one occasion, you would catch Leona fiddling with a necklace with a blue feather hanging under the silver circle that served as it’s pendant). And Ruggie simply grew on him- no one being able to resist his lazy eyes for long.

Though now, Jack was happy as he stacks the last of the bags of soil on top of each other in the corner of your store, basking in all the plants that lined the shelves in neat little rows on shelves. You had scraped the money to buy a building, get a business permit and open up a little plant shop in Toronto, Canada through some odd jobs and a collective effort from each of them.

He watched you chatter to some women, never seeing you smile so wide in the time he’s been alive. He pulls at the sides of his beanie, glancing at Ruggie through the crack in the door to the back whose tail wags gently as he tends to the budding plants, Leona sleeping (well, “sleeping”) on the hammock that you had put up for him with the flowers in the back.

He looks back to the little cacti he stood next to, a familiar warmth blooming in his gut. The orange rays of the setting sun illuminates the curve of your face as you go and walk the lady out (who happily holds her lilies and poppies in her arms) and wave to her as she leaves before closing the door and flipping the ‘open’ sign to ‘close’. You sigh before you turn to find Jack looking at you with a smile on his face as he stares at you. You walk to him and grab his hands and rest your head against his chest. “We did good.” You murmur.

He nods. “We did.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A chorus of over exaggerated gagging brings you and Jack you of the moment and you laugh as Jack turns and yells at a grinning Ruggie and a scowling Leona to: “shut up!”.

<The Next Chosen Character>

Thank you for reading!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #twst #twst x reader #twst imagines #twst jack #jack howl #jack howl x reader #x reader #non bianary reader #gender nuetral reader #SFW #detroit become human au #tw: blood #tw: violence #tw: death #Tw: mentions of abuse #tw: broken bones #April Brain Rot #not a reblog

[internalsealpanic]

Better Die Than Doubt

Summary:  You wince knowing he’s already noticed. You feel the tiniest bit more at ease as he approaches your booth but it didn’t stop your eyes from flickering and searching for something off in the environment. The creeping sense of being watched trails up your spine. You’re sure.

A/n: To no one’s shock, this entire fic was unplanned. I was possessed by the urge to make it (translation: I got the urge to write this and one of my enablers said do it).  This story should be treated more or less as a horror story. Nothing is being glorified here except how dorky Jason is. That being said,  PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS. This fic contains quite a few triggering things and I really don’t want you to be blindsided.  Also thanks to @knightfall05x for helping me write this whole thing. Thanks to @batarella (HOE) for action writing tips.

Warnings: graphic violence, stalking, emotional manipulation, unhealthy coping mechanisms, drugging, nongraphic description of rape, and rape aftermath 

masterlist

You press the heels of your palms into your eyes. You could practically feel the oncoming headache the way you could sense someone coming down the hall. This is what happens when you’re running on just 5 hours of restless sleep for the last few days. This headache was also not helped by the fact that this was your fifth coffee in the past 30 minutes. You probably should not be drinking this much caffeine this late but intelligent decisions weren’t exactly your strong suit this week. You rub the sides of your forehead feeling another wave of nausea. 

 You check the time again and groan.  It’s been one-and-a-half hours since your agreed upon time had lapsed and yet one Jason Peter Todd was nowhere to be seen. You curse, nerves edging, and mind fraying.  To be perfectly fair to him, he is a busy guy, vigilante, and all. You understood that fairly well- and this was sudden to say the least. You can’t really fault him for being a bit late but the long wait was ratcheting up your anxiety. Again, the coffee didn’t help but considering it was the only thing you could keep down since last night, you didn’t have much choice. 

 Last night. 

 Your stomach tumbled. You cup your hand over your mouth feeling your coffee traveling back up your esophagus. You let out a long exasperated breath, letting yourself sink into the booth. You look out the window, eyes flickering wildly searching for Jason. Your hands tighten around your mug. The feeling of being watched made you bristle. 

 Jason, well, Jason wasn’t hard to spot. The man was 6 feet 4 inches of pure muscle and leather. Having a handsome face and a ‘fuck you’ look in his eyes also helped.  In short, the man was hard to ignore. You wave weakly to him as he dismounts his bike, a gesture far too small for your usual bombastic self. Jason’s smarmy smile greets you as he returns the gesture with his gloved hand. The motion is slow and cautious, rickety in a way. You wince knowing he’s already noticed. You feel the tiniest bit more at ease as he approaches your booth but it didn’t stop your eyes from flickering and searching for something off in the environment. The creeping sense of being watched trails up your spine. You’re sure. 

 “Jesus, y/n, you look like Timbo” Jason chuckles sliding into the booth his green eyes shining with scrutiny. You look at him flatly not having enough energy to properly respond to his jab. He winces seeing your lack of reaction. “Rough night, huh?” He asks flagging down a waitress, who looked quite pleased to get away from her previous table.  

 You nod weakly, slowly as if the fact that it had been a rough couple of days had just sunk in. “Yeah,” you reply, your voice small and a little threadbare. You drum your fingers against your increasingly cold mug. The waitress sets a couple of warm mugs in front of you. Her soft smile makes you uneasy. You and Jason mutter a thanks as she tells you to wave her over if you need anything else. Her warm brown eyes boring into the stark purple bruise on your face. You shrink and smile sheepishly at her.

 “I’m fi-”

 “I am going to throw these sugar packets at you if you say you’re fine.”

 “Damn, ok, Mr.Kettle,” You laugh. His concern startles a genuine laugh out of you. You’re sincerely surprised how lively the sound that comes out of you is. “You know if you keep sounding like that, Jay, you’re gonna wreck the whole stone-cold badass thing you got going,”

 “Y/n..”

 You huff running your hand through your disheveled hair, trying in vain, to soothe your mind. What was the best way to put it? You swallowed, gathering your lapsing thoughts. “Sooo uh-” The collar of your shirt suddenly felt tight around your neck. “-I-” You breathe. “-I found around 4 or 5 of Blackmask’s boys and Deathstroke-No, I’m not shitting you- in my- my apartment for- well- the third time in the last two months, can I crash at your place? Just ‘til I find a new place. Oh and also how do I get rid of them?”

  He blinks as his brain takes its sweet fucking time digesting what you had just said.  He leans back groaning and running his hands over his face. He looks like he’d like to deck you if he wasn’t too busy being concerned for your welfare. You shrink again, feeling bad for springing it on him. The decision to leave out the gory details of your hectic week suddenly felt like the wisest choice but you had no doubt he’ll get it out of you at some point. 

 “I’ll skip the obvious ‘why did you wait three times before moving’ question because I feel like I’m probably going to get an aneurysm from your answer,”  Your reasoning wasn’t quite that stupid. You were mucking about Sionis’s operation. The fucker decided to branch out his little enterprise into your city and like hell, you were gonna leave well enough alone. After you had set fire to one of his warehouses, you thought that would explain the False Facers. But Deathstroke? Deathstroke was a mystery. You’ve also been mucking about his business but you two have always been civil if not friendly. Frenemies of sorts, you guessed. You’ve been encountering him a lot in the last few days. You had figured that Blackmask had hired him but considering he threw two men out of your apartment window last night, you’re not entirely sure.  You make an affronted noise that Jason elects to ignore. 

 “What did they do?”

 “Aside from necessitating a visit to IKEA?  Nothing.”

 “Did they take anything? Leave a message?”

 “Nope, nothing-” You furrow your brow trying to recall. You shake your head. “-They just made sure I knew they broke in.” You add, shrugging your shoulder. You wince at the movement. Your shoulder still aches from being hit with a bat. Jason’s shoulders shift, moving as if to reach out to you but stops himself. Instead, he continues with his line of questioning. “Sweetheart, there’s gotta be something missing.” 

 You frown, biting your cheek. Jason rests his chin on his hand, green eyes watching you and urging you to think back. It was either the weight of his gaze or the lack of sleep that was making it hard to recall. You close your eyes and catalog your belongings, analyzing the mental picture you have like a crime scene like how he taught you months ago, breaking it down into the smallest pieces of information and bringing it back into a bigger picture.  Still, nothing. Nothing of note was missing. You shake your head and shrug your uninjured shoulder. Jason glares at the immobile one. You shake your head silently telling him it wasn’t from last night which just made him clench his jaw. 

 “Evidence?”

 You shake your head.  He frowns baffled. 

 “Tech?”

 You shake your head again. 

 “Anything personal?” He asks jokingly. 

 “I-” A cold horror washes over you trailed by embarrassment. Your vibrator had been missing and so were a couple of your lingerie sets. You feel your stomach drop to the floor. “Oh god, Jay- I- Please, let me stay with you.” 

 “And have them steal my stuff?” He chuckles. 

 “Please, Jay, like you have anything worth stealing.” Jason frowns at you scrutinizing your face. You level him a glare but it was more in an effort to fight down a blush than anything venomous. Jason’s jaw unclenches and his face breaks into a shit-eating grin. “What color was it?”

 “Wha-”

 “Bzzzzzzzt ” 

 If you weren’t blushing before, you are now. Heat climbs up your spine. Your mouth felt dry. 

 “Well, what color was it, sweetheart?” Jason drawls, his voice dropping an octave. You shiver but bristle just as quickly. You bite your cheek and glare at him. “HA. HA. HA. Funny, Todd.”

 “Was it Red Hood Red?” Jason teases, winking and raising his cup of coffee to his lips. 

 “Nightwing blue” You deadpan. Jason coughed into his drink.  You preen with satisfaction. 

 “Does it make stupid puns while you go at it? ”

 “Yup,” You say, the ‘p’ popping. “That’s part of the appeal.” You joke smiling into your mug.  Jason snorts. “How is that supposed to be sexy?”

 You shrug, a sharper less tired smile cutting across your features. “Dunno man. Nightwing is pretty sexy if you ask me.” You wink.  

 Jason makes a fake gagging noise. Well, it seems fake with how theatrical the gesture is but with bats? You never could tell. You roll your eyes and giggle.  Jason’s shoulders loosen at your bubble of laughter, his face slipping into one of his sheepish smiles. “In all seriousness, y/n, you can stay at my place.”

 You smile at him, your usual fluorescent smile. 

Click

 Click

 Click

 A man from across the street watches you intently through the lens of a camera. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Slade throws the photos across Roman’s desk, each glossy piece of paper containing a candid photo of you looking increasingly frayed and anxious.  

 Roman marvels at how your usually larger than life figure shrank into your puffy coat, how small and malleable and inexperienced you looked. He notes the panicked look in your eyes in every one of the photos and savors it. He couldn't wait to see it for himself. 

 In one photo, you're looking over your shoulder as you enter your office building. 

 In one, you’re tracing circles on a child’s hand with your thumb,  beaming brightly as you told some wild tale to distract the child. 

 In another, you're slumped in your desk chair as you think over a case looking absolutely exasperated but determined. 

 In yet another one, you're locking lips with a man, his hand trailing up your shirt. Roman made sure to give the man some swimming lessons a few weeks prior.  

 In the photo in Roman’s hand, you're at the emergency room looking like you haven't slept in 2 days. Your face was bruised and your clothes were torn in several places where Slade had managed to land a blow. Your delicate skin marred with cuts and trickling blood. Absolutely gorgeous.   

 He examines it closely. The photo was taken just a few hours ago. You look like you're going to cry but your shoulders and jaw are squared more frustrated than scared. There's a fire in your eyes that threatens to level the city. A thrill rides up his spine at the prospect of extinguishing it. 

 “This is why you wanted to throw my men out the window?”

 Slade hums. He shrugs and the edge of his lips curl into a smile. “It was the only way to convince the kid that we’re both after her-” His eye drifts to your face. Appraising but impassive. “The kid’s scared out of her mind and exhausted at this point.”

 Slade had a point. Roman had to give him that. It wouldn’t be obvious to the casual observer but it would be plain as day to anyone like Roman who had been studying you for a while. You weren’t quite as meticulous with your appearance as Roman thought you should be (He would work on that later) but the dishevelment in your appearance was obvious. The slight dip in your shoulders in place of the prim posture that you usually employed was a blatant indication of your weariness. And the falter in your smile, the flickering in your eyes, and the number of times you let yourself bite your cheek showed the cracks in your fearless image. 

 Who knew weeks upon weeks of chaos could weather Minos City’s own budding hero? 

 In the photo next to Roman’s hand, your laughing face is stark and lively against the drab atmosphere of the diner, bubbling laughter carving life into your exhausted features making you look more like the shining paragon your city has come to rely on. The man sitting in front of you is laughing too. The sharp edges of his grin softened by the fondness in his eyes. It was hard not to recognize him even with such a foreign expression plastered onto his face.  Roman crushes the photo in his hand. 

 “BUT NOW SHE’S WITH THAT SCUMBAG RED HOOD”

 “And she’s now with the Red Hood. In his secluded safe house. Weakened and far from help. Most likely thinking that she’s safe under his protection and blissfully unaware of the tracker I put in her arm.”

 “I see… It seems like you are worth the pay.”

 Slade made no effort in hiding his smug grin.  

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 “Jay, I really am sorry about this.” You mumble for what seemed like the fifth time in the past half hour. 

 “I sincerely hope you’re apologizing for the fact that you neglected to tell me you had bruised ribs before getting on my bike and not the fact that you’re staying with me because two crazy assholes decided your place needed remodeling.” Jason exasperates, pinching the bridge of his nose. You feel kind of annoyed by the gesture but he did have a point especially with your city’s less than smooth roads. You were also pretty banged up. As it turns out, facing off against a bunch of goons plus a master assassin is not good for your health. You swore viciously under your breath. Now, you weren’t expecting Deathstroke to go easy on you despite your rapport but the guy really didn’t have to throw you around like a rag doll. Even with your power to adjust the odds, it was a miracle that you escaped intact. 

 “Well, Mr.Pot, you ride your bike all the time even with broken ribs.” You bite back. Jason rolls his eyes unaffected by the distilled venom in your voice.

  “Well, one of us is a stone-cold badass- ”

 “And the other is a sasquatch with a stick up his ass.” You sneer snatching the beer bottle from Jason. Your tone was far too fond and playful to have any actual bite. Jason chuckles at you and ruffles your hair before snatching it back and handing you a bottle of water.

 You huff taking the bottle from him and following him to the couch. He sits down on the couch patting the seat beside him. You plopped on to the couch, placing your sock feet on his lap. He grabs your ankles and throws your feet back at you. You just as quickly throw them back on and this time you do it with an absolutely delighted smirk on your face. “Rude,” He mumbles but doesn’t attempt to extricate you again. 

 “So Deathstroke, huh?” Jason starts, side-eyeing you over his beer. You adjust yourself to sit up a little straighter.

 “You mean the asshat who broke my favorite lamp last night?”

 “Who the hell has a favorite lamp?”

 “Me! And get to your point.”

 “Have you two- yanno?” Jason jokes, his eyebrows wiggling and hands gesturing vaguely. Your eyes grow wide and heat creeps up your neck and face. You scowl at Jason throwing a pillow at his face for good measure. He catches it with ease much to your frustration giving you his trademark triumphant grin. You kick at him with no real force. 

 “NO! What kind of soap opera shit is that?” You giggle into your drink. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it before. The guy was skilled and pretty witty.  You also had eyes and the man was handsome but something always felt strange about taking it further. You were civil but you kept your distance. 

 You pout at Jason again causing him to chuckle. “What? I’m just saying it’ll air out some tension~” He suggests winking. 

 “Oh my actual god, I hate you. I sincerely, truly hate you.” You laugh, kicking at his thigh. Jason makes an obviously fake hurt noise which draws out even more giggles out of you. Some tension in Jason’s shoulders releasing upon hearing the bubbly sounds. 

 “You speaking from experience, Jay?”

 Jason shakes his head and coughs. “Catwoman-” Cough. “Talia Al Ghul-” Cough. “Sorry, sweetheart, seems like I have a really bad cough this week.”  

 And that is how you spend the rest of the night questioning Bruce’s love life. 

“Food is in the fridge,” Jason says pointing to the said fridge which was sorely lacking magnets, sounding like a somewhat tired single parent. 

 “Do I look like I can keep anything down?”

 Jason snatches the water bottle you had abandoned on the side table next to the recliner. “With that big mouth of yours? Sure.” Jason teases lightly booping you on the nose with your water bottle. “Get some rest.”

 “Yes, mother” You sighed, burying yourself into the thick comforter he’d given you, crumpled water bottle in hand. He ruffles your hair. 

 “You know you’re safe here, right? ” The question startles you. You shift uncomfortably, pulling the comforter tightly around your shoulders. You shrug at him, not entirely certain how to answer. You know Jason’s safe house is, well, safe but you also thought your apartment was too. Your stomach twisted. 

 Jason squeezed your shoulder probably sensing the spiral of your thoughts. He smiles down at you, probably. It was hard to tell with the helmet.  

 “If you want, I can-”

 “No, Jay, I’ll be fine here. You can go on patrol. I’ll be fine. Promise.”

 The thing with Jason was that even when he was so big and bulky and hella intimidating, his empathy towards others had a bad habit of always shining through despite the layers of armor and sarcasm. You squeeze his hand, pressing little circles into his palm, and smile up at him. It was forced but it was the best you could do. Jason ruffles your hair again before letting go and making his way to the window. 

 “Get some sleep.”

 “Aye aye cap’n” You yawn settling into a slump on the couch. Jason can’t help but smile fondly at you.  You wave him a sleepy goodby before he sets off. 

You passed out on the couch, an old habit you never grew out of. You always slept on the couch when you felt uneasy. It may have been some sort of way to separate stress from your bedroom. It sure as shit wasn’t for safety reasons. Your equipment was dispersed throughout your apartment but your weapons were usually stowed away in your room. 

 You feel a hand running gently through your hair, smoothing away all your apprehension. 

 “Jay” You grouse, your hand halfheartedly swatting at the hand stroking your hair. You bury yourself further into the warmth of the comforter feeling the need to shrink away from the touch. You feel a soft prick on your neck.  

 Your eyes fly open.  

 Shit.

 The hand tangles in your hair. It throws you to the wall. The air is knocked out of your lungs. Your ribs scream. You scrabble to your feet. Your limbs fail you. They flail uselessly. Your breaths pick up. Your chest feels like it's caving. 

 "JAY" You shriek. “HELP.” A large hand grasps your throat. A rush of adrenaline kicks in. You thrash. You kick. Your hit lands. Another grasps your ankles. You scream. You swear viciously. Another grabs at your wrists. Something rough winds around your wrists and ankles. 

 The world tilts into an odd angle. Your head feels heavy so do your arms and your legs and everything. 

 "Jaaay" You slur, the air in your lungs becoming sluggish like everything else. "Jay" you sob again, knowing he wouldn't come. Not when he was so far away. 

 "Shut up you …..  bitch" You feel a swift kick to your stomach. It barely registers above the haze. 

 "Hey man-"

 "What? The …. man said we …… rough her up."

 "We can?"

 "Yeah, ……, said so"

 Your eyes blink, stupid, and uncomprehending.  Distantly, you hear yourself grunting and whimpering. You can feel their blows but your body is too far away, too inaccessible. It was strange to physically feel yourself drift away. 

.

.

.

 Roman traces the sun shaped scar radiating on your shoulder with a leather-clad hand. The one shot he’d managed to land on you the first time you’d stormed one of his warehouses. You were all cocksure and quick wit and boisterous laughter. You really had the devil’s own luck but it seems to have run out. Not that Roman’s got any complaints. Not when he’s got you laying at his feet,  tied up and vulnerable. 

 He crouches down, hand on his chin.  His eyes roam appreciatively over your sleeping form, appraising you like a premium cut of meat. You look pretty against the black silk sheets he’d chosen.  He sighs content with his prize. He traces the tip of his knife over your cheek, a dark purple bruise maring your features stark against the stainless surface of the blade. Slade really was quite careless when handling you. Not that Roman has any plans on being any gentler.  

 He lets his blade drift down, trailing down your neck down to the flimsy protection of your oversized shirt.  Your steady breaths falter. You keep your eyes shut trying to gather more information but it’s hard not to focus off the tip of the blade cold against your warm skin even as the blade cuts through the thin fabric of your shirt. A large hand grasps your face roughly. 

 “I know you're awake, baby-” You blanch still not opening your eyes. The grip on your jaw tightens. You grin like a madman. “It's rude to keep daddy waiting.” 

 “Sorry, Sionis, I was really hoping not to have to wake up  you’re ugly mug.” You sneer, voice thick and raspy with sleep but still full with your trademark confidence. Roman looks more amused than irritated.  Your body and mind are still at the cusp of sleep. You wriggle and almost cry out with joy when you feel them move. You mind the hand on your jaw and its tight grip. 

 “Baby, I won’t tell you a-” You spit in his face, cracking an eye open to see his reaction. A bloody grin spreads across your face like wildfire when you see the annoyance on his face. 

 “You’re going to regret that” He growls, wiping his face with a torn piece of your shirt. 

 “Oh please-” Something cracks across your jaw. 

 “The next time it’ll be the other end,” It takes a moment for your mind to catch on. You stare at the hilt of the blade for a moment before letting loose another smarmy grin. His violent reaction spurs you on. Yeah, you can definitely see why Jason thinks you’re going to age him twenty years. “Oh please, You like my face too much for that.”

 “You really wanna test that?”

 “Nope,” You say, spitting into his eye and landing a punch square in his face. You cackle like a madwoman when he goes down. You don’t bother hiding the delighted chirps that escape your chest. 

 Being petty, you give him a swift kick to the face before dashing towards the door.  You launch yourself, feeling like you can fly. The copper taste in your tongue almost feels sweet. 

 Your hand grasps the door when a hand tangles itself in your hair. 

 Roman throws you back onto the mattress, the springs digging into your back. You scratch and claw and thrash against the large hand wrapped around your throat. You snarl as Roman leans closer, his body pinning yours against the mattress, his weight immobilizing your fatigued limbs. A sweet-smelling cloth covers your mouth and nose, you gasp in surprise, inhaling the scent. Your mind is already sluggish by the time it catches on. 

 Your vision dims. 

 You feel hollowed out. 

 Your limbs fall away, arms drooping and pliant against the silk-covered mattress. The cloth feels too much against your skin. Vaguely, you feel horror prickling up your spine or maybe it was just the springs again. 

 Roman pulls away. You think you breathe a sigh of relief, feeling the weight of him lifted. He straddles your body, grinning down at you. Your mouth falls open to say something. You want to say that you curse him out or that you threaten him. The sound you make is small. Your tongue feels too heavy.  No, something is pressing it down, you think. 

 Above you, Roman is a towering colossus. You’re vaguely aware of the shifting of his hips. He removes his gloved hand from your mouth and caresses the side of your face with mock gentleness. His movements are sluggish and syrupy.  You make another noise when you realize to some degree of horror that isn’t. Your mind felt heavy and useless. 

 He snaps his fingers. The sound is dull like it's contending with water. A muffled set of steps approaches you. A man, you realize. You don't think you’ve noticed him before. His dark shape is messy and incomprehensible. A red dot flashes stark against his form. The mechanical sounds of a shutter drift in and out of your mind. You turn your head back to Roman at the sound of shifting fabric.

 Above you, Roman, already without his suit jacket, loosens his tie, eyes staring hungrily at you. The pit of your stomach feels painfully cold. You blink at him stupidly. He chuckles, grasping your chin to make sure you’re looking at him. You protest against his touch.

 “Don’t worry, baby, you’ll be the star of our little show like the filthy attention whore you really are. ” He laughs. It rumbles like thunder in your ears. 

 The world falls away. 

Click

Click

Click

.

.

.

.

.

One 

 Two

 .

.

.

.

One

 You feel a prick on your neck. 

 Hot breaths fan against your face. 

 Your body is too warm. 

 You don’t want to know why. 

 Twenty-five, you continue counting. 

 You feel fabric shift against you. 

 Something sharp digs itself into your flesh.  

 One 

 Two

 Three

 .

.

.

 Three?

 Something’s crushing your windpipe.

 Your body is aching. You’re not entirely sure whether it’s from use or disuse and by who. 

 “Good girl”

 Thirty

 .

.

.

 Twelve

 There’s something scraping against your flesh. 

 Is it a knife?

 Hot pants fan against your skin. 

 Teeth 

 Four

.

.

.

.

Fifty-six

 “Boss, I-.... going a …. bit too far?”

 Smack!

 “Do …. You…. to think?” 

 Two sixty-eight

 A hand strikes you. You think your jaw is broken. It hurts but then again everything hurts. All you can do is take it and whimper. 

 Tears sting against your face.  

  “That’s right. Just like that. Like that, you little whore.” 

 Your body is warm again. 

 You still don’t want to know. 

.

.

.

.

Two

 Two

 Two?

 You’ve counted two before. 

 You blink. 

 The haze of your mind lifts. 

 The coldness of the room seeps in your bones. You’re bare. You take stock of yourself, running your hands over your skin. Everything is still there. 

 Everything and a few other things. You let disgust and shame roll over you. A sob tears its way out of your chest. Your breath picks up. You feel your mind slipping. You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, calling your mind back and steadying yourself. 

 You take stock again. This time moving your limbs and jangling your joints.  They were weak but workable. You’re surprised to find yourself unbound aside from the collar around your neck. You suppose Roman’s confident in his drugs. How long have you been here? You press lightly against your neck, feeling the higher than normal pulsing of your artery. You shift yourself waking your legs up. 

 You stiffen, gooseflesh spreading over your skin as light filters into the room through the door. Your eyes snap shut, stinging from the sudden intrusion of light. The pulse beneath your fingers jackrabbits. You think you’ll keel over. 

 “Shhhhhh”

 All the strength in your veins floods out, leaving a feeling of cold horror in its place. You scream or you try.  Your body feels impossibly rigid. Roman stalks towards you, his footfalls slow and deliberate and too loud. Your heart jumps up to your throat with each step. You inch yourself away from him, drawing yourself up to make yourself feel bigger. He coos at how adorable you are, trying to look defiant. The mattress dips under his weight. Your mind begins to slip away from you again. The world falls away from you. You anchor it, digging your nails into your palms. He cups your face, thumb caressing your bottom lip. You glower at him and bite out something witty. He laughs amusement lighting up his features, the sound grates against your ears. 

 “Not gonna fight back?” He taunts, pressing his thumb down on your bottom lip. Your body recoils but then goes slack as he runs his hand up and down your side. Shame blankets you but the fear etched into you keeps you still. 

 Roman loosens his tie. 

 Your mind falls out of your reach. 

 “Such a good little slut.” He murmurs against your lips.

 NO

 You wanted to say. 

 Instead, your mind starts counting again even as you hear the rustle of fabric. 

 .

.

.

. 

 BANG

 A gunshot rings through the thick atmosphere of the room. 

 Roman curses. 

 His men stampede. 

 Another round of shots fire. 

 Something- No, no.  Someone tears Roman off of you. 

 “Deathstroke?” You croak, your voice sounding foreign and absurdly brittle. 

 “Do you know anyone else walking around looking like this, kid?”

 “Ravager” You snark, lips twitching into a smile. He rolls his eyes underneath his mask. The familiarity of the exchange breathes life into your body. Roman’s hand grips your wrist with bruising intensity. Your breath catches. 

 No. No. No.

 The word loops in your head like a constant rat-tat. 

 Slade’s foot makes contact with Roman’s head, the force of it unnecessary but satisfactory. The sounds of bone-cracking fill the air. The man falls uselessly to the grimey floor. He shoots him with a couple of rounds for good measure, each shot instilling a pang of finality in the back of your mind. 

 You scrabble towards Slade, wide-eyed and shallow breathed.  You cling to Slade as he bundles your body in silken sheets.  He hoists you easily into his arms. You bury your face into the junction between his neck and shoulder, closing your eyes, the image of Roman’s bloody body on the floor pressed into your mind. You sob in relief. Your hands clasping onto Slade, white-knuckled and shaking.

  "I've got you, sweetheart," He rumbles, running his hand through your hair soothingly. The tight knots in your body, loosen. You whimper a quiet thank you. “I’ve got you.”

 You lift your head only to see Roman twitch. 

 Your breathing falters. 

 Fear pricks your spine. 

 Your mind falls away from you again. 

 Distantly, you feel Slade’s grip on you tightens. 

 Distantly, you hear him murmur something. 

 Everything is too far away. 

 Your eyes blink sluggishly. The world becomes dimmer with each blink. 

 .

.

.

.

 A warm spray of water drizzles down over your aching skin. Your open wounds sting but the warm water pooling around you soothes the aches of your bruised flesh. Your eyes focus on the soft off-white of the tile on the wall opposite you. You don’t let yourself about the thin, rusty red film swirling in the water. The air in the room is thick with steam and the scent of lavender. 

 The absence of grime on your skin makes you feel lighter and gauzy and immaterial. You felt naked and obscene like you had been taken apart and now someone was examining pieces of you. You almost miss it. 

 “Lean back” Slade grumbles as he lathers your hair with some lavender concoction the hotel provided. Your body follows automatically, eagerly, obediently. You tell yourself you’re just tired. You tell yourself nothing’s wrong with your response. You tell yourself you’re ok. You wince. The warm water around you shifts. You hear it splash against the tile. You flinch at how loud it sounds. You take a deep breath and lean into his touch. He’s handling you delicately as though you would fall apart any second. You might. 

 Blinking away tears, you watch his face, aware that by leaning back, you’d be giving him a good view of the hickies, bite marks, and knife wounds Roman ‘gifted’ you. There’s a slight twitch in the corners of his lips. He must be disgusted with you too. You want to sink into the hot water and let it burn you anew, but you don’t trust yourself not to drown.   

 You close your eyes as another spray of warm water pours over you. You melt into it hoping it’s enough to wash the last few days- weeks?- away. 

.

.

. 

 Your hands grasp his face, pulling him towards you. His hands brace against the tub, keeping him from falling in with you. Your arms loop around his neck, your hot breath fanning against his lips. You press your lips against him, searching and wanting. For what exactly? Comfort? Safety? Stimulation? His lips press lightly against yours, not quite a kiss. Slade actually looks taken aback. 

 The rest of the world floods back in. You peel away, your eyes wide with terror. “Shit- I’m- Fuck! Fuck! Shit, Slade, I- I’m sorry. I- Shit! I didn’t-” Your breathing ratchets up, becoming shallower as the pulsating in your ears grow louder. There’s a tightness growing in your chest that makes you think your ribcage is about to implode. You cover your face with your hands not caring how it didn’t help your shallowing breaths. You can’t look at him. You just can’t. You know you’re disgusting. 

 Your body wants to come apart, dissolve, and if it can, evaporate. You can’t breathe. You curl into yourself, into the water. A hand grabs at your wrist. You flinch. The hand carefully pries your hand away, forcing you to uncurl. Slade’s other hand cups your face gently, guiding you to look him in the eye. The lack of disgust in his face rattles you.

 His thumb brushes against your lips making your stomach twist and your spine curl. He dips his head closer to yours. You kiss him eagerly. He lets out a pleased hum and smiles against your lips. Something cold licks at the bottom of your stomach but it’s overtaken by the need for connection, to fill in what had been hollowed out.   

You press closer to him than strictly necessary as you watch the news, chewing on your cheek.  He pulls you close, shifting you on to his lap. You don’t protest, eyes glued to the TV. 

 “Businessman, Roman Sionis, was found with several gunshot wounds to the stomach in one of his warehouses here in Minos City. He is now in stable condition. Authorities say...”

 Your jaw falls slack in mute horror. Your stomach tumbles to the floor.  You’re hyperventilating. Your teeth are digging into your cheek, you taste copper. Your mind spirals back into the room, back to the dirty mattress, back to Roman. 

 Strong arms wrap around you, stilling your trembling body against a broad chest. Your body relaxes a fraction. You curl into him, the buzz of nervous energy settling into a quieter panic. 

 “You’re safe with me, you know that don’t you, sweetheart?” Slade says tracing circles into your palm. You lean your head into his shoulder. You nod easing against him. “I’ll never let that monster anywhere near you.” He promises, pressing a kiss into your hair. A little sob wrenches free of your imploding chest. 

 Slade keeps his face buried in your hair even as you fall into a lull. It was the only way to hide the triumphant grin spreading across his face. 

 “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll take good care of you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Thanks for reading. There’s a follow up to this because I can’t cope with bad endings. I had to promise myself a good second part to make the ending horrifying. 

The writing process for this fic was basically:

Me: I have this horrifying idea!

My brain: Yes but what if we put a little dork Jason in it. 

Me: I guess that wouldn’t hurt. 

Me: Ok I have written nearly 2k of dorky Jason where’s the other parts?

Brain: Uh what other parts?

Me: *sighs and spends the next few days spamming @knightfall05x*

taglist: 

@batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes,  @americasmarauders , @l-horizon11, @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay, @wunderstell

#yandere dc #yandere blackmask #yandere roman sionis #yandere deathstroke #yandere slade wilson #Black Mask #Deathstroke #slade wilson x reader #Roman Sionis #roman sionis x reader #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #Jason Todd #red hood x reader

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

#Honestly it should be the Liam Payne the three guys who’ve had a crush on him and the one who married him. #aka the hill I'll die on #lmao #sorry not sorry #IM SORRY IT LOOKS LIKE I HAD A LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD #ASDFGHJKL; #also please don't think I'm calling anyone out specifically #these are a lot of generalizations and trends I've noticed after being in fandom for nearly 11 years they pop up all the damn time #circles we're just going in circles #I've been following Ziam in particular since the Nov 2011 interview #but suspected Liam had a crush sometime before when I saw a gifset of him talking about Zayns birthday presentsbc he as acting the exact sa #e way I was when I was crushing on a girl I knew #I saw myself in him and ignored it for another day #lmaooo #ziam #larry tunnel vision #larry vs ziam #Larry vs Niall #fandom bs #ask

[atinybitofau]

S E O N G H W A ⇾ mafia au

DATING THE BAD BOY BUT HE’S GOT A WICKED COMPLEX

a/n: ver 2 and you can tell lol.

• his boys didn’t like you.

• but he LOVED you.

• you loved him too.

• but your mom didn’t like him either—

• actually everybody kind of didn’t like him at all.

• at this rate, the cops don’t even know what to do with him.

• even the bounty on his head has criminals fighting for his life, dead or alive.

• you two were the kind of people who would never be caught together.

• shouldn’t be together even if the chances allow.

• cause you’re the quiet type, you know?

• the type of girl who always said yes.

• —which he loved by the way but that’s not the point.

• the point is,

• Seonghwa was the type of guy who didn’t exactly like saying yes to anything really.

• no he liked doing what people prefer as what-not-to-do.

• “Hey baby.”

• you look up from your text book when you hear his dreamy voice interrupt you from studying like the good girl you are,

• shaking your head cause you’ve told him many times, “You shouldn’t be sneaking in here this late at night.”

• he chuckles huskily at you before bending down to swoop in for that midnight kiss he came for.

• “Just came by to give my girl some lovin.”

• “Seonghwa, you’re a hitman. Not Ronald McDonald.” you deadpan.

• “Fear me.” he teases leaning against your desk. “Your mom’s car is gone. She out for the weekend?”

• you sigh loving leaning your head against his abdomen as he peers at your book. “She specifically said not to let you in and to tell you the opposite of that but yes. Unfortunately she is out of town.”

• he keens at the way you tease.

• unfathomed by how he fell in love with you the moment you two met years ago.

• at a library where he was renting the movie, how to lose a guy in ten days.

• beyond you why he didn’t just rent the chick flick at a red box or something.

• “Sometimes you make my gun look useless. My own little weapon. Patent pending.” he kisses you on the lips while he tightens his belt. “Duty calls, baby. I’ll be back for you tomorrow morning since your parents basically gave me the thumbs up.”

• you giggle at that holding back at his turned waist. “Where are you going now?”

• “To fight the bad guys. Where else would I go if I’m not already here with you?”

• Seonghwa’s not at all what people think he is.

• at least to you.

• you think he’s the greatest guy.

• if not, the nicest.

• he does the things the little guy chooses not to because it’s morally wrong?

• of course you weren’t all for his lifestyle.

• it being killing innocent people and then some.

• but he does it out of honor?

• to protect the people he loves.

• like a twisted superhero.

• “I love you.” you tell him before he leaves making him kiss you again.

• “You know my answer to that. You don’t need me to remind you.”

• you smile under his hot breath. “But it would be nice if you did anyway.”

• “I love you too baby. To the moon and back.”

• you watch as he goes.

• never seeming to miss him when he lingers around you so often.

• the morning comes and he’s missing.

• you don’t worry too much but when the next day comes and he doesn’t attempt anything,

• you certainly start to miss him.

• the lingering long gone.

• “Mom, have you heard from Seonghwa?”

• she looks at you and rolls her eyes. “Why on earth would I hear from him? And I’ve told you multiple times you aren’t allowed to see him.”

• you chuckle and shake your head. not forgetting to kiss her on the cheek before you go.

• “I know you don’t like him. And I know you think he’s not the better options I’m given but he’s an option that loves me. One that I love back, ma. So I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear you say that, okay?”

• “Fine but I’m not saying I like the idea anyway.”

• your mom hates him.

• but she can’t hate the fact that he does absolutely everything in his power to prove his love for you.

• his friends think otherwise.

• doing everything in their power to keep him from YOU.

• “Where is he?” you ask yourself as you look around the crowded area. “He’s supposed to be here by now...”

• you frown knowing he wasn’t going to show up.

• that there was something wrong and you don’t doubt it’s because of his friends.

• and Seonghwa has always been the one to reach out for you.

• which is probably why even if your family hates him, they respect him.

• you think it’s why his friends don’t respect you.

• but who are you to put yourself in the circle of death?

• a circle that you weren’t meant to be in the first place?

• only meeting the love of your life by chance.

• you feel like you need to prove to the fourth party that you deserve him just as much as he deserves you.

• but that doesn’t work out as easily as it did for him,

• —squeezing his way into your plain life.

• you still tried though.

• now your hands are bound and your mouth is covered in a gag.

• “I think your little boyfriend forgot how dangerous it is sneaking you around.” the man wanting vengeance against your boyfriend shuts your crying up with whips to your back. “Even if I die torturing you, he’ll die thinking why couldn’t it have been him.”

• you glare through wet eyes,

• thinking you’d really still do anything for Seonghwa.

• you were a kind soul.

• lived life to the fullest and with a smile on your face.

• —it’s a complex Seonghwa loved about you.

• what he was missing in his own life.

• but while he was out there making sacrifices for you, you never did for him.

• you think it’s time to turn the tables.

• that you definitely weren’t a fan of the idea of losing a guy in ten days..

• that this was your chance to prove to his friends that you deserve him more than just an inferiority complex.

• and the chances right?

• the moment the man walks back m in, he’s already held at gun point by your boyfriend who’s merciless.

• ready to shoot anyone who decides to touch his baby, you.

• but you think he’s done enough trying for you.

• taking the knife you’ve been harboring behind your back and sticking it down the man’s throat with pure savagery.

• honestly,

• you looked like you came right out of a horror film.

• your chick flick romance with Seonghwa ending in a blink of an eye.

• and his friends were lucky enough to be granted the sight.

• “Y-y/n? Why—“ Seonghwa’s almost in tears petrified by the way trauma coats your eyes and how the blood of your first victim drips down your hands. “W-why’d you kill him, baby?”

• you know it was probably wrong.

• probably the more strenuous effort to take in winning his love.

• but you’re tired of being just his woman.

• wanting to be his partner more than anything in the world.

• even if the chances were slim you were willing to take it.

• you look to his friends shaking vigorously.

• hands trembling when you ask in venoumous drip, “Was that enough? Was that enough to get you all to like me? To accept me. To stop keeping my god damn boyfriend away from me?”

• Seonghwa knows you’re everything.

• everything but the inferior.

• loved that you always needed to be accurate.

• his weapon patent pending.

• “I may not be one of you.” you tell them softly having them backed up into a corner as you threaten, not being the quiet girl they think you were. “But I sure as hell can be. And if killing a man who put me in chains because of your friend that I love? If doing that will prove it to you, then by all means throw me another. I’ll kill him too.”

• they never liked you.

• but they can’t lie and say they never admired you.

• admired you for falling in love with a man who stained his hands with blood and his life with tattooed pasts.

• admired you for loving him even if that has to drag you.

• you cry when it’s just you and Seonghwa.

• now he holds you in his arms in your bedroom,

• in the comfort of your bed,

• being able to be with you this time, all parties approved.

• he traces the scars on your skin just like the way you trace the ink on his.

• how he’s willing to do just about anything you’d do for him.

• “I’m sorry.” he whispers as you keep yourself trapped against him. “I’m sorry for loving you.”

• you don’t tell him to take it back.

• let him kiss the burning wounds that he mended.

• the pain fading like the trauma in your mind.

• when it’s just him and you,

• you forget about the them and they.

• “I’m sorry for loving you too.”

• his hair brushes against your forehead as he leans down to kiss you.

• his tears falling onto your lips like it’s a promise he’s making to you. “I told them they couldn’t keep me from you no matter what they do. That if the world didn’t want us together, we wouldn’t have met. The person I am... y/n, that’s just going to follow us. Baby, I don’t know if I’m okay with that.”

• “I am.”

• your arms lace around his shaky body as he kisses you tenderly.

• you kissing back.

• “I’m okay with everything you do, who you are and what that makes me.” you whisper as he bends against your hand pressing on his rising chest. “The gun you always hold is mine. Your heart that’s right here? That’s mine too. Patented by yours truly.”

• he chuckles.

• shakes his head to himself because he’s so damn in love with you—

• so damn lucky to have you.

• thinks Ronald McDonald may as well be the richest man alive but he’s still got a treasure far more valuable than the iconic BIG MAC.

• “I know for the life I have, I can’t marry you.”

• you peer up at up him when he scrambles through his pockets for something.

• the way his gun falls onto your bed like it meant nothing to him, almost mockingly sardonic.

• “But I can pretend for a little that I don’t have the life I have. Just so I can do this.”

• he turns the tables.

• whn the lights flicker in your room and how your mom stands at the door way with a camcorder,

• his friends smiling at you with a cake and flowering confetti—

• the way Seonghwa gets down on one knee his gun comically sitting between the both of you.

• just so he can ask,

• “Y/n, will you be my wife?”

• Park Seonghwa has this complex that you never had.

• doing the things people don’t want him to do.

• it’s funny how he got those people to want it.

• the way you always did.

• it’s his complex.

• so it’s not wrong that you answered,

• “Well yeah, obviously.”

• patent approved.

@atinybitofau

#ateez #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez oneshot #ateez mafia au #ateez reactions #ateez preferences #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa reactions #seonghwa oneshot #seonghwa #mafia au #seonghwa mafia au

[carriagelamp]

Book Review - Summer Summary 2020

I didn’t get around to doing an individual post for the books I read in June/July/August, so I decided to choose a dozen that I read over the summer... I’d separate the wheat from the chaff for you so to speak. Though like you’re about to find out, that doesn’t necessarily mean they were all good by any means...

Crave

My girlfriend got this for me to “tide me over until Midnight Sun”. Between you and me, I think she was taking the piss. Anyway, Crave is very... standard fare paranormal YA school romance with the added flare of being written by an adult erotica writer, meaning the rhythm and tone of this novel is fucking bonkers. If you want to read the novel without reading the novel, just take Twilight and the entire Vampire Academy series, shove them in a blend, and force down the sludge you get from that. Normal Average Girl Goes To Secret School In Alaska For Vampire, Werewolves and Dragons. That’s this book. It is so big and so so so bad. I finished it out of spite, please don’t do that to yourself. Unless you are really craving (hurr hurr) some top tier trashy paranormal romance, in which case... no judgment.

The Last Firehawk

The Last Firehawk is a Scholastic “Branches” series, written for beginning readers (grade 1-3ish, depending on the child’s reading level). It has short stories, big text, and awesome pictures on every page. Guys. I unironically am adoring this series. It’s simple and is introducing children to a number of classic elements in the fantasy quest genre, but it is so charming. Friends Tag and Skyla discover a firehawk egg, and species that is supposed to have disappeared long ago. When Blaze hatches from it, the three are tasked with going out and finding the magical ember stone which was hidden long ago by the firehawks and which could be used to defeat the evil vulture Thorn and his dark magic... I read the first two books to second graders who ate it up and read the next four books because I personally wanted to continue the series. If you have young readers in your life (or just want a fun kid adventure) then please try these they’re the literary equivalent of nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie.

Lupin III: World’s Most Wanted #3

All the kind people that still follow my tumblr and haven’t tried to murder me because of my Lupin obsession are not going to be surprised by this one. I finally read one of the manga for this series and honestly I’m delighted. Somehow even hornier than the show, but hilariously funny. I felt like I was reading a more adult version of Spy Vs Spy. It’s a bunch of short, individual bits/adventures with lots of visual gags and an artstyle that is really different and delightful.

River of Teeth / Taste of Marrow (American Hippo series)

I’ve talked about River of Teeth before, but I finally finished the American Hippo duology and need to sing its praise. This is an alternate history series composed of two novellas that explore the question What would have happened if the States had decided to import hippos as livestock...? Anyways, my pitch for you: queer hippo cowboys. That’s all it took for me to read it. You have a gay gunslinger who loves his hippo to death, a nonbinary explosives-expert / poisoner who is the main love interest, a fat con artist who spoils her hippo and is the only voice of reason in this entire series, and a latina mother-to-be who is the scariest assassin in the entire series and is obviously scheming. The four of them are brought together on a job to deal with the Mississippi’s feral hippo problem.

IT’S A QUEER HIPPO COWBOY HEIST NOVEL GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M STILL TALKING AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST GONE TO READ THIS YET.

Petals to the Metal (The Adventure Zone series)

The graphic novel adaptation to the McElroy family’s DND podcast The Adventure Zone. Most of you are probably aware of this? It’s a great adaptation, it hits all the important beats, shows off the characters really well, and still gets lots of good gags in even while condensing entire arcs into single book stories. This one is probably my favourite so far just because Petals to the Metal was one of my favourite arcs in the show... but you can also see how the art has improved and the chaos of the race is fun to see drawn out.

If you like The Adventure Zone but haven’t tried the graphic novels yet -- would recommend! If you’ve always wanted to listen to The Adventure Zone but don’t have time for such a long series or struggle to focus on podcasts then pick up the first book of this series (Here There Be Gerblins) and try reading it! It really is an enjoyable adaptation.

Pony to the Rescue (Pony Pals series)

I continued my April/May theme of reading old-school chapter book series to combat Covid Brain Fry, so I picked up a few Pony Pals books. I read these as a kid and always enjoy them -- there’s just something so appealing to a child about having a horse. It gives your child characters a level of independence and ability to explore that you wouldn’t get otherwise. These books definitely read young, but they were nostalgic to revisit.

Small Spaces

A really cool middle grade horror novel I picked up. Maybe it’s because I live around a lot of corn fields, but farm/scarecrow themed horror absolutely does it for me. One evening, after seeing a woman try to destroy a strange, old book, eleven year old Ollie doesn’t stop to think, instead stealing the book and running. That’s how she becomes wrapped up in the strange, sinister story of a cursed family and creature called the Smiling Man that seems to live out in the foggy fields. While unsettling, Ollie tries to remind herself that it’s just a story... but this becomes more challenging when her school bus breaks down one day out their own set of fields, and a fog is rolling in...

“Avoid large spaces. Stick to small.”

Snot Girl #1 - #2

A Canadian graphic novel series by the creator of the Scott Pilgrim series! I love his work so I decided to give Snotgirl a try, even though it’s not generally my genre. I’m glad I did! First book took a while for me to get into, but by the time I hit the second I was really wrapped up in the mystery and character development. Snotgirl is about Lottie, a self-consumed fashion blogger whose biggest struggles are dealing with her allergies, frustration with her fellow-blogger friends, and how entirely her self-esteem is tied to her “beauty” and how people view her. But everything shifts in strange and horrifying ways when Lottie starts taking a new allergy medication, meets a new friend... and then witnesses that girl’s death. Or does she?

Seriously, or does she? I have no idea, I need to read the third book. This book is full of intrigue, complicated relationships, murder (or not?), and a healthy dose of magical realism to keep you guessing. If you like slice-of-life, crime, and abstract reality then this series is world a try. Plus the art is gorgeous.

Summer Wars #1 - #2

I recently rewatched Summer Wars (still one of my favourite movies) and decided to read the two-book manga adaptation. It was a really neat little adaptation. The creator of the movie gave the writer free range to tweak things to fit better in a manga format, which means some movie elements were allowed to fade into the background, whereas other aspects were fulled into the forefront and fleshed out to a greater degree. It was very cool, it kept the same story but gave you new things to think about which I wasn’t expecting. Reading this as a stand alone works just fine, but honestly if you’ve never watched the movie Summer Wars you should give it a try! It’s a great mix of slice-of-life, sprawling family dynamics that I relate to a little too well, cyber adventures, and fantasy. Super feel good.

This One Summer

Okay, last graphic novel, I swear. This One Summer was... weird and intense. It’s a coming-of-age Canadian graphic novel that follows a pair of pre-teens who meet up like they do every year at their family’s summer cottages. You see them both in the awkward phases between childhood and growing up to become teenagers, as they’re confronted with things like maturity, friendship, self-esteem, family problems, and sexuality. A beautiful read, but probably the heaviest out of all the books on my list.

Wild Thornberrys Novelization

I rewatched The Wild Thornberrys movie with my girlfriend earlier this year, and decided I wanted to hunt down the chapter book novelization because I’m kind of a sucker for novelizations. Honestly, this was about what you would expect from the era. 90s/00s novelizations, especially young novelizations, are generally just a transcript of the movie without much thought or effort put into them to make them anything but. That’s what this was. It was fine, and it really let me revisualize the entire movie, but honestly you’re probably better off just rewatching the movie unless you also really deeply love The Wild Thornberrys.

The Willoughbys

I saw that Netflix had done a funky looking adaptation of The Willoughbys and I decided I needed to read the book first before watching the movie. This was a little bizarre, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Over all, I think it was a net-positive experience. It’s an obvious satire on classic children’s novels, especially the likes of Mary Poppins (real Mary Poppins, not the Disney version) and while a little heavy-handed, it does a Series of Unfortunate Events vibe that redeems it. The story is about a group of horrible children (The Ruthless Willoughbys) who decide they are sick of their parents and would rather become Worth Orphans... and to do that, they’re going to have to dispose of their inconvenient parents, obviously. Conveniently their parents are also sick of having children and decide to do away with them as well. The Willoughbys sets up three (or four?) different subplots that are gradually woven together through a series of schemes and exploits. It’s definitely more ruthless (hurr hurr) than the Netflix version, which tried to make the children more sympathetic, and in some ways I think that’s a definite point in the novel’s favour. I’m not sure I would go out of my way to recommend it, but it was a fun romp if you want something short and off the wall (and a lot more fleshed out than the Netflix version).

#book review #book reviews #the willoughbys #the wild thornberrys #lupin iii #scott pilgrim #snotgirl #bryan lee o'malley #this one summer #small spaces #pony pals #crave #the last firehawk #river of teeth #taste of marrow #american hippo #summer wars #petals to the metal #taz #novels #manga #graphic novels #children literature #kid lit #chatter

[halothenthehorns]

THE MARAUDER'S MAP

Sirius never thought he could both hate and love a book so much at the same time. The look on James' face when he'd heard Lily's last words would forever haunt him until his dying day, but the euphoric feeling of getting to know every detail of Harry's life would never cease to make him smile. There was still a horrible, lingering silence as they were still slightly absorbing the last chapter, and none of them really believed it would actually get better at this point since Harry obviously seemed to attract dementors to himself. No, their best hope was for someone to teach Harry that spell already, most preferably Remus, so that Harry, or anyone, would never have to suffer like that again. Swallowing hard past a lump in his throat, Sirius began reading, wondering if his hoping for the best was a lost cause at this point.

Madam Pomfrey forced Harry to stay over the weekend,

"Doubt that was necessary," Remus rolled his eyes, knowing personally how overbearing the matron could be.

"I didn't mind though," Harry sighed, though when he didn't volunteer more no one pressed him.

but Harry didn't mind, to busy thinking of other things. He refused to let his now trashed broom actually be trashed, and he didn't care what anyone told him, it was like losing a friend.

"Felt that way about my first broom too," James nodded in understanding, remembering he'd kicked up a fuss when his dad had thought he'd outgrown his first toy broom and thrown it out.

Of course he had friends coming to visit, Hagrid for one bringing him some goofy yellow flowers that looked like cabbages,

"Never not grateful for that man," Lily murmured, forcefully brushing at her eyes to make sure too much emotion wouldn't continue trying to well up in her.

and Ginny, red in the face as she offered Harry a get-well card that screamed at him, which Harry had to force shut under a bowl.

"Daw, what a pleasant little gift," Sirius smirked lightly, which only increased when he saw how hard Harry was blushing.

"Was it like, a gag gift or something?" Remus asked curiously, "or was it really meant to sing shrilly and she thought you'd enjoy that?"

"Far as I know, it was supposed to be funny," Harry shrugged, looking very much like he wanted to change the subject no matter how much he was smiling at the attention Ginny gave him.

The Gryffindor team popped in and out, the next time with Wood who managed to tell Harry without sounding too insincere,

All four of them scowled heavily at that, still feeling that as team captain Wood really should put Harry's feelings into account about his mood in there. It even flitted across James' mind for a second Wood might consider taking Harry off the team, because if Wood saw Harry's fainting around dementors a danger to the game he really wouldn't put it past the boy. Of course he'd raise hell for that, but didn't bother to bring it up right then in hopes he was wrong.

that he wasn't blaming their loss on Harry.

"Good," Lily relaxed at once, more than happy Oliver wasn't going to make Harry feel worse.

Ron and Hermione were there all day, only leaving by force come curfew,

"Someone needs to get it through their head that they don't even need to leave then," Sirius smirked.

but even they weren't making him feel better, because Harry had yet to tell them what was really bothering him.

Any form of good mood was erased at once, because no one needed to ask that this was clearly why Harry didn't mind being in the hospital wing for the weekend. Harry surely wouldn't want to go around, even to his friends, talking about something that made all of them want to burst into tears, and it hadn't even technically happened to them.

He hadn't spoken of the Grim he'd seen that day in the stands to his two friends either,

Now that did surprise them, but Sirius quickly read out the reason before anyone could ask.

because he predicted their actions would be Ron freaking out and Hermione rolling her eyes.

"Err, yeah, I can see that," Remus nodded, ignoring the internal wince that he clearly hadn't made the effort to come see Harry up at the Hospital himself. He didn't care how sick he was, as many times as James had lost sleepless nights staying down there with him, he couldn't imagine how his future self worked out that this was okay.

It didn't help when he realized that this was the second time he'd seen that spectral image, and seconds after each he'd nearly died.

Sirius felt a horrible tightening in his gut when that came out. Honestly he'd never thought about it like that, but Harry was right. In fact, was his animagus actually more symbolic than he'd ever let those jokes be. After all, hadn't his best friend died as well... he'd been silent for too long, and maybe they noticed something of the growing misery that was starting to eat him alive, either way Remus had to give him a pretty hard poke to get his attention before demanding, "come on Sirius, can't be too upset about this, it's not like you did anything."

Sirius nodded too quickly, muttering, "right," before rushing on and ignoring James and Remus giving each other a look behind his back.

He was now honestly wondering if this was going to keep happening until he did die.

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth, undecided if he wanted to make a joke about that or vomit.

Harry gave him a pitying look, then blurted, "Sorry Sirius, I know how upsetting it is to you now, wish I could take it back."

Sirius managed a weak smile for his pup for trying, it did make him feel slightly better Harry very clearly didn't mean those things now, but it wasn't erasing how he was now stacking up how many people in his life were going to die, and if it could really link back to him?

Then there were the dementors.

"Course, can't forget about them for five seconds," James grumbled, rocking his son gently.

Harry felt a combination of terror and humiliation every time they crossed his mind. While everyone he'd ever met had agreed at there horrid existence, no one else he knew collapsed in their presence.

Despite Remus' explaining this to him, he still shifted his weight around in agitation at yet another thing that made him stand out like this. This time Remus left the reassurance to Lily, who by now quickly soothed him and reminded him that most likely she'd do more than faint if she had to hear something like that. Remus was too busy scowling and grumbling to himself he really should have stinking come and talked to Harry by now, never not agitated at how long or whatever reason was stopping this.

Then again, he didn't know anyone else who heard the echo of his mother's last moments.

"There's something I never want to read again," Sirius grumbled, hating that sentence nearly as much as he hated watching everyone else flinch because of it.

Harry had no doubt in his mind that's what he kept hearing, her final words churned repeatedly in his nightmare hours, then he'd wake with a start only to keep thinking about them.

Lily made a horrible choking noise, trying her very best to hold back a whimper of pain that her son was now forced to live her waking nightmare. She almost half wished her boy hadn't regained back this particular memory at all, but then reflected that would do more harm than good in the long run, because if ever he did come into contact with a dementor he wouldn't even be prepared for it.

'Thanks Harry, I really hadn't figured that out the first time,' Sirius frowned down at the book, leaning casually against James when he felt his best friend shivering in disgust at that. James gave him a grateful look, while cuddling his son close to him for comfort, the only thing still keeping the pair of them going at this point was the constant mantra of 'we can fix this, we have to!'

Harry never got any proper rest those days, in a constant state of awake or dozing with that same thing going round his head, with nothing else to distract him.

"Yeah it's official, the hospital wing can do more damage than good," Remus scowled, knowing personally how dreading it could be to have nothing else to think about and so you linger on your thoughts like Harry was clearly doing now.

Which is why it was a relief to go back to the crowded corridors of the rest of the castle come Monday, where he didn't get a choice and had to find other things to do,

They all breathed a sigh of relief, more than happy if Harry never had to think of that again.

even if it did come at the price of Malfoy.

All five of them groaned at this, realizing that Malfoy's lame joke would only have doubled in credibility at that public event.

The Slytherin was exultant at Gryffindor's loss, and taken those false bandages off at last,

"There's the bright side," Remus rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Least now he couldn't force me to help with his potion ingredients anymore," Harry nodded.

only to use both arms now in his constant mockery of Harry falling from the air.

"Why hasn't anyone hexed this one yet?" Sirius scowled.

He now openly used their shared Potions class to do this as many times as he liked, and Ron finally lost it and chucked a crocodile heart right in his face.

"Thank you," James beamed.

"Ron's the best friend ever," Remus snickered.

It lost him fifty points from their house,

"Worth it," Harry chuckled, knowing he'd likely have done the same thing if Malfoy had turned on Ron like that.

and Ron was fuming that if Snape was in their DADA as well, he'd skip the class.

"One hundred percent agree," Lily nodded sagely, causing the boys to smirk all the more.

Hermione poked her head in first, but confirmed it was Lupin inside.

"Thank you," they all sighed in relief.

The man certainly looked like he'd been sick,

Remus really couldn't help the involuntary wince that caused, remembering quite well how his transformations had felt before his friends had helped him to cope while they were animals. No he didn't remember anything clearly, but the pain he'd suffered had been more than double before his friends had joined him. He was soon looking at twelve years of that solitude. He neglected bringing that up, deeming it his own problem to deal with.

having visibly lost weight over the weekend so his ragged clothing looked even worse than usual, accompanied by his dark rimmed eyes.

James and Sirius exchanged worried looks, not needing Remus to remind them of how sick he could feel around these times, but feeling a slight comfort that surely Sirius had been there for him this last time at least, so they declined saying anything either.

It didn't stop his usual smile upon seeing the class, where in by the time everyone had sat down they'd each had something to say about their substitute while Lupin had been gone.

"Poor Remus," Lily smiled lightly, "James and Sirius were right, most of your job seems to be listening to kids complain."

Remus hardly looked like he was upset, the opposite in fact as he was smiling widely that these kids seemed to like him well enough they felt they could openly complain like that at all.

One was shouting that Snape shouldn't have been allowed to give homework at all,

Remus still didn't think the likes of Snape should be defended, but he did say to Harry, "in any other case, that could be argued. Snape was being extreme, but a substitute has every right to give homework as any other teacher to make sure you were paying attention."

Harry grumbled something and rolled his eyes, and James and Sirius looked disgusted their friend was defending giving out any form of homework, but there really was no point in arguing it any further.

while someone else cried in outrage about the length of that assignment. Lupin was frowning as he asked why they didn't tell Snape they hadn't got that far yet,

"Can imagine why that would bother you," Lily agreed grimly.

and they agreed they had told but he hadn't cared, and someone else repeated it had been two whole rolls of parchment in length!

"Someone seems really indignant about that," James said mildly.

"Can't imagine why," Sirius grumbled.

Lupin couldn't help but smile as he glanced around the room, telling them he'd talk to Snape,

"I'd personally like to sit in on that conversation," Sirius said, perking up at once.

"Really Sirius, what do you think I'm going to do?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"Something more than talk," James answered, not bothering to hide his hope one bit.

Remus just rolled his eyes at the pair, not exactly in agreement, but unable to argue the point either. As of right now, he was feeling a bit more than talking was in order for what Snape had tried to do and would very dearly like to either hex him or at least take it up with Dumbledore, but he had no idea what his future self might be thinking. If his actions so far were an example, he may have even said that just to pacify them and not bring it up with anyone ever.

and promised they didn't have to do the assignment.

"Yes!" They all cheered. Remus personally thought his reasons might have been just slightly selfish in that decision, perhaps he should have shortened it rather than outright undermining Snape and saying they shouldn't do it, but there was nothing for it now.

Hermione was the only one who pouted that she'd already done hers.

"Why am I not surprised?" Lily snorted.

The rest of the class went on in the usual pleasant manner, as they studied hinkypunks. Lupin was explaining that they had a lantern built into their hand, and liked to lead people into fogs, and the hinkypunk chose that moment to face plant the glass teeth first.

They all gave appreciative chuckles of amusement for that good timing.

When they were dismissed though, Lupin called Harry back for a private word.

"Now what's this?" James leaned over eagerly, more than happy for any instance of Remus and Harry getting to talk some more. Sirius quickly elbowed him back out of the way so he could read.

Harry waited curiously, and Lupin began by saying he'd heard about Harry's game, while trying to cover up the hinkypunks cage,

"Bet you bout had a heart attack when you did," Lily murmured, noting he wasn't exactly looking at Harry as he spoke, which probably meant he was either upset or ashamed about not being there. They'd all noticed his laps in not going to see Harry in the hospital as well, but at this point it would have just been even more awkward if he had shown up then so they were trying not to take it as personally.

and if there was any way his broom was salvageable?

'Poor Remus' James thought sadly, knowing his friend would probably do anything to buy Harry another one right then.

Harry said no, he'd asked, and Lupin sighed.

Remus scowled and grumbled something, still personally blaming himself for whatever that stupid tree continued to do to Harry.

He told Harry that the Whomping Willow had been planted the same year he'd arrived,

"And what a coincidence," Sirius snickered.

and that students used to play a game about trying to get nearest its trunk until one boy nearly lost an eye and it was then marked as forbidden.

"Wasn't Peter the one who dared him to do that?" Sirius chuckled in remembrance.

"It was before we knew what was under it," James defended their friend, "then we thought it was just for show, or advanced Herbology."

Lupin knew that brute of a tree quite well, and accepted Harry's broom had no chance. Harry had to build himself up for a moment before asking if he'd heard about the rest, like the dementors.

This time Remus forcefully ignored the feeling that kept cropping up whenever it mentioned how awkward these talks between them were.

Lupin agreed, he'd seen how angry Dumbledore had been over it all.

"Oh I'm sure that was a sight," Lily said without any amusement.

He explained that without their usual supply of their prisoners, they were getting hungry, then confirmed this was what made Harry fall? Harry agreed, then blurted out before he could think about it, why it happened like that to him? Was he-

"Thank you!" They all burst out in relief, knowing it would have driven them all that much crazier if Harry had continued to sit on this.

Lupin cut him off at once, saying it was not because Harry was weak before Harry had even finished.

"Probably had that written all over my face," Harry sighed, having been thinking on that all weekend.

He told Harry that because of some things that had happened to him, he had a more adverse reaction than others.

"What a friendly little reminder, I thank you," Sirius rolled his eyes without any humor.

Lupin quickly explained that dementors were manifests of the worst parts of society, they reveled in anything to do with the horrors of your life.

"Put a few more horrible details in there why don't you, you were doing so well," James smirked.

Even Muggles had been known to sense them nearby, though they couldn't see them,

Harry cocked his head to the side, wondering why on earth that particular sentence should seem familiar to him. Surely he'd never been around both dementors and muggles at the same time, right?

but they did affect them as they would drain away every last drop of happiness.

Sirius' mood, already taking a downturn whenever these monsters were mentioned, continued sinking all the lower as the longer this went on the more vivid imaginations came to mind of what exactly he had to look forward to in the near future. The opposite of pleasant to think about, but he ignored his friend's attempts at comfort and kept reading loudly in hopes to get this over with.

If the dementor could get away with it, it would feed off of you and your magic until you were left with nothing, soulless.

James had to swallow back a bit of bile at that phrasing. He, much like his best friend, getting cold all over at the thought of Sirius or Harry being forced in there company for too long.

It was beginning to occur to Lily for the first time that Sirius may not have gone and tried to steal a wand at any point, because was he even able to still have magic after such exposure? Surely turning into a dog, which seemed to have helped enough for him to escape, had helped to retain his magic as well? Could it have gone even farther, as this must be the reason he hadn't lost his mind like every other had. She wanted to offer the suggestion to her boys, but they looked so miserable at this constant topic she decided she'd try pointing it out later if, and hopefully never, Sirius' mindset came back into question.

Then he reminded that the worst things that had happened to Harry just made him a little more tempting to them, he had nothing to be ashamed of.

"Thank you Remus," Lily grinned at him, "high time someone said that to him."

Harry grinned over at him and repeated that thanks, causing Remus to blush and mutter about how it wasn't that big of a deal even if he did agree with them.

Harry couldn't meet his eyes as he did admit what he heard, his mother being killed by Voldemort.

"Bet I just loved that one," Remus went from red to sallow faster than a traffic light changing.

Lupin jerked, his arm coming forward like he wanted to grab Harry's shoulder in comfort, but the motion quickly died before he started.

All five of them winced in pain at that, hating this near constant reminder now at just how close Remus and Harry weren't. This should have been a time where Harry could have sought comfort in him, and instead Remus still felt too insecure to do much more than stand there. It was both infuriating and depressing all at the same time.

They stood in silence for a moment before Harry grumbled about why they had to come to the game.

"I can think of a few reasons," Sirius sighed, not exactly happy for this change in subject, it was hardly better than the last one.

Lupin said that the roar of emotions from the stands was like a feast calling to them, they couldn't have helped themselves.

"Yeah, that was the main one," Remus nodded in agreement, meaning Sirius, and ignoring James and Sirius snickering that he'd just agreed with himself.

Harry came to the conclusion how horrible Azkaban must be.

"You've no idea how right you are," James huffed, curling his lip up in disgust at the thought.

Lupin nodded in agreement at that, telling that it was in a fortress way out at sea, but that wasn't what kept the people there. No, it was the dementors feeding off of them, trapping them inside their own worst memories. Most went mad in weeks.

"I swear, this really does just keep getting better," Sirius snarled.

Harry pointed out that Black had gotten out, and then Lupin jerked so hard his briefcase clattered to the floor, and he hustled to pick it up.

"Just as subtle as ever my friend," Sirius said, releasing a bark like laughter for that. Remus' random display of clumsiness and inability to hide what he'd been thinking in that moment almost bringing a good mood back to the room.

Lupin gave a shifty agreement, saying how odd that was, considering dementors were known to drain the magical power right out of someone.

"All true," James smirked, "though of course, no one's tested one little theory in particular."

"You're all just so proud of that, aren't you?" Lily asked indulgently, suddenly realizing the boys would have worked this out on their own by now anyways, and this could be why they were so adamant about knowing Sirius' mind set. Maybe Sirius still needed it pointed out though, or perhaps he'd come up with some counter argument in his own head they needed to knock away.

Harry reminded that Lupin had made that dementor on the train go away.

"Glad you remember that," Remus chirped, brightening at once. If Harry really came to him now, asked for his help with this, perhaps Dumbledore wouldn't say no to both of them?

Lupin agreed there is a charm to be used, but it was so advanced most wizards didn't even learn it, and the more dementors there were, the harder it was. Harry paid that last part no mind, asking at once if Lupin would teach him.

"Yes!" The room cheered, more than happy at this turn of events.

Lupin tried to say no, saying he wasn't an expert by any means,

"You don't have to pretend," Sirius scoffed, "you know plenty to get him going, don't have to write a book on the subject."

but Harry was being insistent, saying he couldn't let that happen to him again at the next match. Lupin was still hesitant,

'Why am I hesitating' Remus wanted to ground out in frustration. Was he really so afraid of getting close to Harry, he'd leave him dry like this? Surely not? The others must be thinking along the same lines, but no one said anything until they got Remus' real answer.

but something of Harry's expression finally led him to relent he'd try and help.

James and Sirius were nearly bouncing in place with happiness. 'Try and help?' Please, Remus would get Harry through this just fine. Sure there were horrible complications and questions, like how for instance they were actually going to be practicing this, but the point was, Harry was finally going to get the help he needed!

He told Harry it would have to wait until after break though, he'd chosen a very bad time to be ill.

"Chose," James rolled his eyes, as if Remus ever chose when it was a full moon.

"That's not so bad," Lily said eagerly, "Harry shouldn't have another run in with them any time soon anyways."

"Why so long though?" Harry asked, knowing he'd rather get started on these sooner rather than later, but so grateful at the time he hadn't questioned his professor. He had no qualms asking Remus now.

Remus didn't really look happy about answering, still kicking himself for trying so hard to push this off as he said, "I'd need Dumbledore's permission to set this up, plus if I'm counting the timing right holidays are right about to start and you wouldn't want to do this during Christmas anyways."

Harry nodded back in agreement with all of that.

With the promise of an anti-dementor defense, the fact that he'd never have to hear his mother die again,

"I'll admit that's rather promising," James muttered, trying to force down his shudder of disgust at that sentence existing.

and when Ravenclaw beat Hufflepuff, Harry's mood went right up for a while.

"Just what we needed," Sirius laughed out right.

The way the points stacked up, Gryffindor was right back in the running, and practices continued with Wood leading in a manic way,

"Oh I really missed this," Lily rolled her eyes.

working them hard. Harry was relieved to see no other dementor in sight.

"Let's hope it stays that way," Remus agreed.

Christmas was fast approaching now,

The four of them refused to give in to their wince of pain this time. Harry had yet to have a really good holiday, so far marred by horrible memories, but this year was sure to be different. It felt too much like tempting fate though, so none of them voiced this hope aloud.

and the castle showed it. Flitwick had been seen letting faires loose in his classroom.

"Love the castle this time of year," Lily beamed.

All of the students were bubbling about the coming holiday, while Ron and Hermione had chosen to stay behind at school with Harry, giving him all sorts of excuses that Harry didn't buy, but still thanked the company.

"I never get tired of hearing your friends lame excuses," Sirius snickered, he always came right out and stated why he stayed behind at the castle.

There was also set to be one more Hogsmeade trip before the holidays started,

Harry refused to let his mood head back south now that it was clear everyone was looking forward to a good holiday, so he refrained from mentioning just how upset this trip already made him feel. Surely he was just upset because he got left behind again, right?

and Hermione was happy she could do all of her Christmas shopping.

"You mean you haven't already?" James mock shook his head in scolding.

Harry of course was the only one not happy about this, and instead asked Wood for a copy of Which Broomstick so he could go about looking into a replacement model for his broom.

"Now there's a good way to spend your day," Sirius beamed, "I'd have probably stayed behind out of the cold just to do that to."

During normal practice he'd been using one of the school brooms, a Shooting Star, which was very old and not nearly up to speed. He knew he needed a newer one.

"Ergh, yeah, I can completely see you spending money on this very important matter," James said in a completely serious tone of voice.

Lily made sure he could see her rolling her eyes at him, but didn't protest this either. Harry was still on the team, he did need his own broom, even if the longer this went on the more she grew to hate this sport and everything about it.

The day of the trip Harry saw his friends off and made to go back to the dormitory, but was called off to the side of a one-eyed witch statue with a hump, by the twins.

Remus and James leaned over at once, trying to pry the book away from Sirius so they could see if this was really happening. Sirius was having none of it, and eagerly elbowed the pair back out of the way so he could read what he hoped was happening.

Harry asked why they weren't in town already,

"Because they're about to show you something really important," James breathed, wriggling in place so much in excitement Sirius had to nudge him again to get him to stop so that he could concentrate.

and Fred told that they would soon enough, but they wanted to give Harry an early present first, while pulling him inside a nearby vacant classroom.

Lily had a fairly good idea what the twins were about to show Harry just from her boys' reactions, but she looked just as puzzled as the others now. Why not simply show Harry the secret passageway and be gone? Why drag him into an empty classroom? Guess the twins were just being paranoid and didn't want anyone to overhear them giving him instructions.

Then Fred pulled a plain old yellow squared parchment out, that was blank.

Sirius nearly passed out from excitement.

"They didn't! Please tell me that they did!" James nearly squealed in excitement.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Remus tried to soothe, the impact lost as he looked nearly as excited as the other two at what this could mean.

"What's all this?" Harry finally demanded when it became clear they were understanding something he didn't.

"Remember I once mentioned we made a map of the school?" James asked eagerly.

Harry had to rake his brain for a moment before remembering this had come up back when he'd found the Chamber. At the time, he'd very dearly wanted to remember something important about this, and he now had a delighted feeling this may have been it. After nodding eagerly, Harry was now nearly as excited to find out if this was the same bit of parchment or not.

Lily smiled lightly at them all. She knew of the Marauders Map of course, and she honestly couldn't come up with a good reason why Harry shouldn't have it.

Harry had the suspicion that the twins were leading him into one of their usual jokes.

"Please, not now," Remus muttered.

Fred began to explain that it would be a pain to give this up, but had decided it would do more good in Harry's hands as he had a need for it.

"Thank Merlin to whatever made them decide that," Sirius said fervently.

Harry asked why he'd need some old parchment.

James pressed his hand over his heart as if Harry had just mortally struck him, causing the others to snicker at his theatrics. He didn't carry on long however, to eager to see Fred and George really show Harry what was going on.

George was more than happy to show Harry otherwise, first explaining that they'd come across this in their first year, young and innocent.

All of them snorted, knowing these types of twins were hardly ever innocent.

Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.

"So glad you agree," Remus smirked.

George admitted a mite more innocent than they were now at any rate, when Filch came across them. Fred butted in they'd just been letting off a few dungbombs and the man seemed rather cross about it all,

"I just can't imagine why," Lily pointed out with heavy sarcasm.

while George explained they'd been taken down to his lair, and Fred added that they'd seen his cabinet labeled Confiscated and Highly Dangerous.

"I love these twins," Sirius was smirking so wide his face was likely to get stuck that way soon, not that he seemed to care.

"Why was it marked Highly Dangerous?" Lily asked curiously. "What exactly did Filch think it was?"

"That's just it," James gave her a Cheshire grin that would have made any kid in school take several wary steps back. Lily did no such thing, but instead raised a brow at her husband, who decided to go on in more normal tones. "We never told him what it did. For some odd reason he assumed the worst of us and threw it in that cabinet."

"Bless those twins," Remus snickered, dearly wishing he had sat in on them trying to get it to work.

Harry could feel himself starting to laugh as Fred explained his twin had set off yet another dung bomb as a distraction while he filched it. George tried to defend it wasn't really that bad,

"Doesn't sound bad to me at all actually," Sirius cackled.

since they were sure Filch didn't even know what it was.

"He's got that part right," James agreed.

When Harry asked what exactly it was, Fred praised that this fine bit of paper had taught them more than any teacher they'd ever met.

Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes at that one, dearly wanting to smack Sirius for how pompous he truly sounded in that moment.

Harry called them out one last time that he was being punked,

"Not possible at this point, they've said too much," Remus shook his head eagerly.

and George just gave an evil grin as he tapped the parchment with his wand and said 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.'

"How would they have even worked out such a specific code?" Lily asked in wonder.

"We gave that thing some heavy enchantments, we'll not deny that," Remus answered fairly, not wanting just any old person to walk across it and pick it up to use.

"But we also made sure that, if someone else did come along for it for any reason, it wouldn't be totally inaccessible," James continued eagerly. "You see, if you sort of play around with the wording, and the closer you get to the correct phrasing, the more properly the map will work."

"We might have even set them in the right direction," Sirius added on, thinking of the nifty little trick they'd added in for security against someone they didn't like setting it off. The charm used to insult the attempter could also be reversed to help the user if the map deemed them worthy, and there was no doubt in their mind the twins were worthy.*

Spreading out from his wand as if an invisible hand were drawing them were ink lines appearing, and they were forming the words ' Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs: Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present THE MARAUDER'S MAP.'

"You lot are so full of yourselves," Lily sighed in a long suffering voice.

None of them seemed to hear her, they were too busy explaining to Harry any and every detail that came to mind about their proudest object to date they'd ever created as a group, and the odds that it had landed in their soul heirs lap. Harry seemed to almost be stalling he was asking for all sorts of details, but none of them really grew suspicious until he ran out and Sirius made to keep reading. Harry bit at his lip, still looking excited he'd discovered this wondrous object, but still wary for some odd reason he didn't seem to want to be sharing. Surely he was just nervous about his first time using this, yes?

Harry really didn't want to admit that, the longer this went on, something really bad was about to happen after he got this map.

Not only that, but when Harry unfolded the square, the lines kept creeping out, spiraling and twisting every which way to form the castle and surrounding grounds. The best part, it also had little dots with names attached, describing where every person in said castle was at that time.

"I thought Hogwarts was unplottable though," Lily said shrewdly. James had only ever told her about the map after they'd left school, so she'd never seen it first hand, or really appreciated like she was in that moment just how much work must have gone into such a project.

"Magically unplottable," Sirius corrected. "You can't use a charm to just create it like you can normal plans for a building. It's why it's designed how we did, by hand."

"How come the twins never would have spotted Voldemort with Quirrell back in first year?" Harry probed thinking back on that time and how surely the twins would have picked out that name.

"Well first of all, his name would have shown up as Tom Riddle, not Voldemort," James shrugged, "so they wouldn't think anything of it at all to randomly spot a student being told off in his office or anything when they spotted it."

"Also, he might not have shown up at all, because he didn't even technically have his own body," Sirius added on. "Of course we've never tested that theory,"

"And here's hoping it never comes up," Remus added in with a remembered shiver of disgust.

"But it makes sense," Sirius finished.

In detail were seven lines that led straight off of the map, and as Harry followed one...Fred pointed it out for him stating they went right into Hogsmeade. He admitted that Filch knew about four of them,

"Damn," all three boys scowled, wondering how on earth he'd figured those out since they'd left. In all fairness, he could have known about them before they did and they'd just never caught him at it, but it still wasn't pleasant to find out.

and the one behind a mirror had caved in,

"Rats," Sirius scowled with a snap of his fingers, "that was one of my favorites."

"Course the one with the mirror would be yours," Lily snipped.

plus the one under the Whomping Willow was never used since you couldn't get past that tree,

"Oh yeah," James didn't even try to muffle his chuckles, "no one ever uses that one, no one at all!"

"Guess they never figured out how to work the tree then," Sirius snickered.

Remus was personally glad they hadn't, as he would rather the twins hadn't met a rather unfortunate event this particular year, but said nothing out loud.

but their personal favorite was the one that went into the Honeydukes cellar,

"My personal favorite," James smacked his lips in appreciation.

"James-" Lily began in a threatening tone of voice, hating to think he was now encouraging their son to steal.

He waved her off at once and said, "please Lily, I left them money, give me some credit."

the entrance to which just so happens to be in that one-eyed witch's hump in front of this door. George mock wiped a tear away at the praise he owed the Messers so much,

"No thanks is needed really," Sirius smirked, his eyes lighting up proving otherwise. "We're more than happy to help."

and George agreed they had done themselves proud helping out future miscreants.

"Imagine their delight when they find out one of them's a teacher this year," James pointed out, causing a whole new round of laughter for all of them.

Then George turned all business, telling Harry that he had to be sure to clean the map when he was done by telling it 'mischief managed' otherwise anyone could look at it. Then Fred mock scolded Harry as he warned he'd better behave himself, giving a fair impression of Percy while he was at it.

"Can't imagine why they'd practice that," Remus snickered.

"Oh I'm sure he'll get right on that," James beamed with pride.

Then George called out he'd see Harry in Honeydukes, and they left.

All of the boys looked deliriously happy now, more so than they had in a long time. Harry had not only just inherited the Map they'd spent countless hours poring over, but he also happened to be in possession of the Cloak as well! Mix in Ron and Hermione's thinking, and the three of them could have a next set of troublemakers brewing.

They were in such a good mood, they didn't notice Lily giving Harry a very worried look. The longer this went on, the more Harry kept rubbing at his temple, a sure sign something was about to happen. This should be a good memory for Harry, why did he seem to continue to sink into himself and give Sirius a furtive look when he thought his godfather wasn't watching. Harry was trying his best to push those feelings away, but Lily couldn't help but continue to feel antsy as Sirius continued.

Harry couldn't help but hesitate though as he stared at the map, remembering something Mr. Weasley had said only last year about how you should never trust something if you couldn't see where it kept its brain.

"Sound advice," James nodded seriously, "but this is an exception to that rule. Be wary of magical items you don't know the source of-"

"-but in this case," Sirius cut him off before James' 'daddy mode' could ruin all of his fun, "there's no danger in sight, so you're fine pup."

Harry gave them both reassuring smiles, feeling rather sure he had held onto this map and nearly positive at this point his feelings were correct and he'd traveled into Hogsmeade this day. This didn't seem to make him feel any better though.

"Good of you to be cautious though," Lily still praised him, at least for a moment taking that look away.

Then he reminded himself that Fred and George had been using this for how long, it's not like he wanted to go out stealing and hurting people, and nothing had happened to the twins.

"Atta boy, there's using sound logic," Remus beamed.

"Can't say we never used it for all of those purposes and more," Sirius muttered in amusement.

Harry took another look at the map, then he hopped to it, folding it up inside his robes and going outside the door again to a thankfully empty corridor.

"Course there's not," James rolled his eyes, "you just checked the map. Surely you would have seen someone coming."

"Best not to act too suspicious with that on you," Sirius agreed sagely in what he clearly thought was giving his sound advice voice, "don't want the wrong teachers, or Filch, to catch that on you without a good reason yet."

Harry looked at the statue and wondered what he had to do to open it.

The three present Marauders grinned at one another, then James threw Lily an obvious look, clearly saying 'see, we thought this through.'

Lily didn't quite understand yet, and couldn't deny she was curious how they had worked this into the map.

With nothing else for it, he glanced back at the map and saw his own little dot, with its own tiny wand tapping on the hump and a word bubble appearing with the spell Dissendium.

"Handy," Lily said in equal amounts of amusement, surprise, and admittedly rather impressed.

"So glad you agree," James' smirk only increased at his wife's praise.

Harry repeated this, and the statue's hump opened wide enough to allow a small person.

"It expands," Remus told him quickly when Harry looked like he was fixing to ask.

Harry climbed inside, made sure it closed behind him, then slid down into a dirt path that led out of sight. Harry marked off the map with the proper spell, before heading off.

The boys couldn't help it, they were still bouncing around in absolute pleasure. This was better than any of them could have hoped for! Not only was Harry getting into Hogsmeade as he so rightly deserved, but the means by which he was doing it couldn't be better!

It seemed to take hours,

"Sometimes it feels like it," Sirius agreed, "other times it feels like you blinked and you're hitting your head on the end."

"How far is it really?" Lily asked curiously.

"Don't know," James shrugged, "never actually counted. Since it's a direct line to Honeydukes, I'd say it might be a shorter walk then the path down into Hogsmeade, but not by much."

but the idea of Hogsmeade kept his feet moving.

"Best motivation there is," Remus agreed.

The tunnel seemed to come to an end with a set of stairs, but after climbing over two hundred he lost count and instead smacked his head against something.

"I did that nearly every time," Sirius agreed as Harry rubbed his head in remembrance, "never could remember how far up that thing was."

He pushed, and found it to be a trapdoor. Moving it to the side, he poked his head into a cellar, which was filled with dozens of boxes, and when he put the trapdoor back, it blended right into the floor.

"Just better hope you find it again," James pointed out, "we tried our best to leave some kind of mark the shopkeepers wouldn't notice the first few times so we could."

Then a door opened, and a woman's voice called out something about Jelly Slugs.

Lily crinkled up her nose in disgust, she hated that candy in particular.

Harry jumped out of sight as a man came down the stairs,

"Which is a benefit of bringing the cloak along with the map," Remus pointed out.

and watched as said man turned this way and that looting through his stuff. Harry snuck behind him, went up the stairs, and found himself inside the sweet shop proper.

"My little Marauder Junior," James cooed fondly to the napping child in his lap, causing Harry next to his mother to beam with pride while Lily felt like smacking her husband for no more reason then calling her son that. She supposed it was vaguely better than Bambi,** which Remus had tried to get going for a while, not that either James or Sirius had understood that reference. Then she winced in self pain as that parallel was suddenly all too real to her son.

The shop was small, and packed. Harry began wriggling his way through people, eyeing the shelves as he realized even Dudley would go wild for this place.

"There's a yuletide thought!" Sirius beamed.

There was every treat imaginable, and the narration gave plenty of detail for each,

"Sirius, you're drooling," Remus pointed out candidly.

Sirius ignored him and proceeded to read out every treat in this place with so much eagerness, it caused the rest of them to continue chuckling.

and continue.

"Are you quite done now," James snickered, "or would you like to stop for a moment and collect yourself before you eat the book."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, not regretting a thing.

Then he caught sight of Ron and Hermione under a specially marked sign that said Unusual, which was called for when he saw them looking at blood flavored lollipops.

"Why?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"To say they'd tried one I suppose," Remus shrugged, "I've tried everything in there once, either out of personal curiosity or on a dare."

Hermione was telling Ron that Harry wouldn't like them.

"Aw," Lily's disgust at the idea of trying half the things in that shop switched to pleasure at once, if still a bit confused as to why Harry's friends thought he'd like those at all.

Then Ron offered some Cockroach Cluster,

"Definitely not," Harry smirked, knowing Ron had been joking, but laughing all the same at the squidged up way his mom's face went at that suggestion.

and Harry told him that was a definite not. Ron nearly dropped the jar.

Every boy gave an appreciative chuckle at that, this was a light and minor prank to what Harry could have done to his friends when they didn't know he was behind them.

Hermione was hardly any better, spluttering her shock of how he'd gotten there.

"Magic," Sirius said in a goofy tone of voice, before reading eagerly. He wanted to know how quickly Harry was going to tell his friends about this new possession.

Ron was eyeing his friend with envy as he asked how he apparated there.

"Wow, Ron can be really dense sometimes, can't he," Remus rolled his eyes at that suggestion.

Harry laughed and quickly explained about the Marauders Map.

"Not surprised," James shrugged, he'd have personally found it even odder if Harry hadn't told his friends about this as soon as he could.

Ron was outraged as he demanded why his own brothers hadn't given that to him first.

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth as he cocked his head to the side in thought on that one.

"He's actually got a point," Lily agreed fairly. "If they were going to pass it on, why to Harry and not Ron?"

James snapped his fingers and said, "guess by the time they decided to give it up, Ron was already gone, so they just passed it to Harry cause he was there. I'm sure if they'd caught Ron in time, they would have just given it to him, knowing he'd loan it to Harry for this."

That didn't really line up with what Fred and George had said about giving it to Harry specially, but it really was the best answer any of them could come up with.

Hermione though pointed out Harry certainly wasn't going to keep it at all,

"Of course he is," Remus said right back, the idea far more then ludicrous to him. "What else would he do with it?"

Sirius read out the next line as if he'd just had his heart ripped out.

and of course he was going to turn it into a teacher.

"Is she mad?" Lily balked. "Exactly why would he do that? He's not doing anything wrong by having it."

"You know it's bonkers when Lily agrees with us," James nodded in total agreement.

Both Harry and Ron told her she was mad! Harry quickly said that if he did do this, it would get Fred and George into trouble for stealing it in the first place.

"And we wouldn't want to get the twins into trouble," Sirius rolled his eyes, knowing that wasn't exactly Hermione's greatest concern, but still unable to understand her stance against their map.

Hermione was just as insistent, pointing out Black. What if he was using one of those secret passages to get into Hogwarts, the teachers should be aware of this.

"Now that's fair," Remus nodded in understanding, giving Sirius a sideways look.

"And most likely true," Sirius agreed. Personally, if given the option, he would have been using the Mirror secret entrance as it was the most out of the way one, but even then he had full confidence he could use the Honeydukes one with ease to get in and out of the castle.

Harry quickly pointed out that Black couldn't be doing this, as Filch knew about four of them at least,

"And they could reckon wrong," James said without any real hope, knowing the twins probably would know something like this first hand.

and the other three weren't of any use, like the Whomping Willow.

"Plus it only leads to the Shack, so that's not the most useful thing to getting in the school," Sirius nodded.

Besides, the one he just came through, you wouldn't even know it was there if you didn't have foreknowledge.

Sirius couldn't help a wane smile at that. Of course he knew where that was, he'd been using it for years. He could have snuck in there blindfolded.

Then Harry did consider, what if he did? Ron though, gestured to a sign hanging inside the shop, which said by order of the Ministry:

"Oh here we go," Sirius ground out in frustration, knowing he was going to hate anything coming from them for quite some time.

The customers should be aware that the dementors patrolled Hogsmeade after sunset.

At this point the little shivers of disgust they all felt upon the mention of those things went almost unnoticed in the room.

The ministry set this up to keep the residents safe, and the dementors would be taken away as soon as Black was caught.

"Poor people, having to deal with that the rest of their lives," James said with utter conviction, knowing he'd rather die all over again then find out Sirius ever wound up back in there.

It ended with a Merry Christmas.

"And a happy holidays to you to," Remus crinkled his nose in disgust.

Ron happily explained there was no way Black could be getting in past that.

'Shouldn't be too much of a challenge to be honest' Sirius mentally thought, rather confident enough in himself to believe that, though still unsure as to why he would sneak in the school at all. Yes he was positive he'd want to see Harry, get a chance to talk to him as soon as possible, but his actions on Halloween still disturbed him more then he wanted to admit.

Then he also pointed out that as the owners of Honeydukes lived on premises, they'd surely hear someone breaking in to use said secret entrance.

James cleared his throat and put a very obvious shifty look on his face. His friends knew what that meant. After exchanging wary looks, Harry and Lily decided they just didn't want to know what these boys might have come up with to get past that type of thing.

Hermione still tried to protest,

"Have I mentioned how much of a killjoy she's been recently," Sirius rolled his eyes in agitation, perhaps a bit more than he meant to as he was still rather caught on his own thoughts.

Harry wanted to get angry at him for picking on his friend so much this year, but he was still unable to shake this bad feeling that something awful was about to happen. Something about Sirius perhaps? Did he have a run in with him? Shouldn't that be a good thing? Before he could let his mind continue straying around and building up a resounding headache, he chose to say nothing in fear it would come out more snappish then he meant.

reminding that Harry wasn't supposed to be out here at all.

"Oh for the love of-" Lily threw her hands in the air in frustration. How could Hermione really be arguing that one? Harry deserved to be out of the castle as much as anyone else. How could Hermione really still be trying to preach that rule to him, especially after everything they'd done in the past two years over other things?

What if Black showed up now?

"Then I would jump for joy," Remus rolled his eyes, though he would personally find it an odd coincidence if Sirius did chose that day to make another appearance. How would he know the Hogsmeade days of the students, as he obviously wasn't keeping himself well enough informed to even know the Gryffindor password.

Ron laughed that off, saying it was so crowded around here there was no way Harry could be picked out. Hermione still didn't look pleased, and Harry teased her that she was going to turn him in. She agreed she wouldn't,

"Glad there's that at least," James nodded.

"Would have really lost some faith in Hermione if she had," Sirius nodded in agreement.

and Ron took that as permission to start leading Harry around the shop and properly showing off the treats. He found some Acid Pops, and recounted the time Fred gave him one, which put a hole in his tongue.

"Merlin, where did he even get a hold of that?" Lily asked in shock.

"Probably one of their older brothers, like Bill or Charlie, and he took it from him as a joke but then passed it along to Ron or something," Sirius shrugged.

"Boys lucky to still have a tongue," James snickered.

He fondly remembered when their mum had found out and smacked said brother with the broom. Then he thought about it for a moment, and asked whether Fred would eat some Cockroach Cluster if Ron tried to pass them off as nuts.

This erased any trace of foul mood in the room at Hermione's expense, knowing full well that was more than appropriate payback, though personally thinking the twins were smart enough not to fall for that.

After that they left, and Harry's friends began showing him the rest of the village, while Harry shivered in the cold December breeze, not having brought a proper jacket.

Lily's maternal instincts kicked in at once upon hearing her little HareBear was cold, but recognized it would be pointless to scold him for not thinking this far ahead as this was a rather spur of the moment foray.

Hermione offered to take him up to the Shrieking Shack,

"That could have some fun potential," James snickered.

but then Ron said the Three Broomsticks was closer, and warmer, so they went in there instead.

Harry had been acting odd ever since the arrival of the map, now he was getting downright fidgety. He somehow knew his first trip into the Three Broomsticks was supposed to mean something monumental to him, something bad his mind helpfully supplied. He couldn't stop his eyes flickering over to Sirius, a horrible feeling building up in his gut as his mind continued very forcefully trying to tell him something about his Godfather. By now though, he was trying his very hardest to discipline his mind, and not let those memories surface. The book would provide, slowly yet surely. Whatever bad thing he thought was fixing to happen, he was sure his family could calm his mood yet again.

They went inside to find the matron a very pretty woman.

Sirius couldn't help but snicker, knowing personally Madam Rosmerta had been many Hogwarts' youth's first crush, and that was during his age. By Harry's description, she'd clearly aged with beauty.

Ron pointed her out as Madam Rosmerta, then offered to go fetch their drinks while taking on some color.

"And the trend continues," Remus agreed verbally with Sirius' knowing look. Harry looked at the pair, unsure exactly what they were being so giggly about, but considering he was holding back vomit he didn't pluck up to ask them.

Harry and Hermione began edging around, taking a seat next to a Christmas tree by the fireplace.

"Bit of a hazard to put that tree next to the fireplace," James said randomly as he glanced at his watch, and noting how late it was getting. They should probably have dinner after this chapter.

"It's probably fireproofed, unless some idiots I can think of would set it alight on purpose," Lily said pointedly, which all three boys studiously ignored.

Ron came back and handed them all some Butterbeer, but before they could begin enjoying it the door opened again, and Harry coughed on his drink.

"Well this can't be good," they all muttered, wondering what force on earth was causing Harry that kind of reaction now. Couldn't their boy have one good and peaceful day?

It was McGonagall,

"Yeah, I can see why you reacted now," James scowled, mentally grumbling at the world for the timing of this nonsense. Couldn't Harry have just one day where he could kick back and enjoy himself.

Flitwick, Hagrid, and Fudge.

"Oh for the love of Merlin," Sirius scowled in outrage, previously not even thinking it could get worse, and hating how wrong he was.

None of the others could think of a thing to say to this, Sirius' hatred of the Ministry and its leader during this time was completely understood and rather paralleled by everyone else in the room for what had been done to him. For him to arrive now just seemed to give them that extra kick of annoyance no one needed.

Ron and Hermione reacted faster than Harry, each grabbing him and forcing him under the table.

"Hopefully that'll work, being in the corner and all," Remus huffed, beginning to grimace in agitation of just how wrong this could go so quickly.

Harry could only spot their feet now, which stopped briefly at the bar, before heading for them.

"Oh for the love of Merlin!" James repeated in exasperation letting his head fall back against the couch in disbelief. They just had to pick the corner his son was hiding in didn't they!

Hermione further hid the lot of them by moving the Christmas tree in front of their table.

"Thank Merlin for Hermione," Lily grumbled, more than pleased at this small distraction that would keep Harry even more out of sight. Of course if she was caught doing this, it would arise suspicions and Harry could be caught all the sooner, so she was now dearly hoping no one saw her doing this.

Harry could easily make out the sights of four chairs being moved around and people sitting down.

Remus was still muttering under his breath about the odds and chances of this mess, now Harry was stuck there until they moved. This was hardly his free day he'd so desperately been needing, but kept it quiet enough to himself so that Sirius could keep going. Not that he really looked like he wanted to. They were probably just going to sit around and talk about paperwork and boringness, his name might be mentioned, but that would only be even more annoying.

A pair of heels walked up, and Harry heard an unfamiliar woman's voice announcing drinks, starting with a gillywater for McGonagall,

"Guess now I know to send McGonagall a bottle of that for Christmas," James rolled his eyes.

four pints of mulled mead,

No one needed to ask who that tankered was for.

for Hagrid, a cherry syrup and soda with ice and umbrella for Flitwick,

"That's something I enjoyed getting," Sirius laughed brightly at this odd comparison.

and Fudge had gotten a red currant rum. Fudge then offered for Rosmerta to have a drink with them, which she agreed to.

"Can't exactly say no when the Minister asks you for a drink I suppose," Lily shrugged.

Harry was reflecting that he should have realized it was a free weekend for the teachers as well, and he really should have seen this coming.

"It's not unheard of they would get out of the castle," Remus sighed, "but still, the timing!" He exclaimed again in disbelief.

Exactly how long were they going to sit around out here? Harry needed to get back to school before they did.

"Oh they shouldn't be there that long," Lily tried to reassure.

"Hagrid might," Sirius huffed with a roll of his eyes, and considering how he'd reacted the last time Harry had snuck out to see him, it didn't bode well.

Rosmerta was back, asking what had brought the Minister this far out?

"Hopefully just a pleasant chat with Dumbledore," Sirius said without any real hope in his voice.

Fudge said what else but Black.

"Of course," Sirius sighed with a roll of his eyes, not at all surprised he was wrong.

He had caused quite a stir with his Halloween stunt.

"Wish I could forget," James scowled, not at all delighted to hear these people, at least three of whom he highly respected, start bad mouthing and swapping rumors about his best friend. At this point he almost wished for boring paperwork talk.

Rosmerta agreed she'd heard about that, and McGonagall chastised Hagrid for telling the whole world.

"Wouldn't surprise me one bit," Remus sighed.

Then Rosmerta asked Fudge if Black was even still in the area, and Fudge agreed he was positive of the fact.

"Least we're not going to argue that point," Lily said agreeably.

Rosmerta wasn't happy, saying that those dementors buzzing around because of him were ruining her business.

"Then kick them out and send them away," Sirius snapped.

Fudge agreed they weren't his favorite things to work with, but they were needed. He'd been to see them just today and they were all kinds of angry at Dumbledore for not allowing them into the castle.

"Can't thank him enough for that one at least," James shuddered in disgust at how Harry would be feeling all the more awful if that was happening.

Fudge tried to pacify all of them that they were only here to protect them from something a lot worse.

"Unless Voldemort himself is running around I'll have to disagree with you," Remus snipped.

After what they knew Black to be capable of.

"Oh and here we go again," Sirius groaned in disdain, taking a moment to plant his forehead against the pages before gathering himself up and forcing himself to continue on that horrid lie.

Rosmerta admitted she still didn't really buy that story some days,

"Least someone other than Remus in this future does," James hissed.

not the Sirius Black she'd known to go over to the other side,

"Have I ever mentioned how much I liked her, cause I don't think I say it enough," Sirius said warmly at what he considered a rather obvious statement that no one else seemed to agree with in this future.

if someone had told her that, she'd have cut them off from drinking for the night.

"I'd have knocked your lights out, and that's being kind," Remus snapped.

Fudge agreed it had been quite a shock, but the worst thing he'd ever done wasn't even known to the public.

Sirius couldn't help the curiosity that spiked up in him then. He hated hearing what he'd supposedly done, the very thought of murdering someone he even hated made his stomach roll let alone thirteen random people, but perhaps this 'worst thing' could help clear up some of this confusion.

Lily scoffed and still wanted to snap at how the Minister himself was gossiping, but she was far too curious to hear this then bring it up.

Rosmerta was shocked, saying what could be worse than killing those thirteen people? McGonagall reminded that if she remembered Black, then she remembered his best friend.

James began to get a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach even as Sirius couldn't help but grin. While Sirius was thinking if there was one good thing he would be remembered for, at least it would be by his best friend. James on the flip side didn't like how this 'worst thing' conversation was starting.

Rosmerta laughed fondly as she agreed they'd practically been brothers, that Sirius Black and James Potter. Harry dropped the rest of his drink in shock, and Ron kicked him.

It took a small moment for the others to understand Harry's reaction, then they had to remind themselves Harry wouldn't have known this. What was obvious to the boy now would have come as quite a shock to him, and for him to hear it like this! Remus or Sirius should have been the one to tell Harry this type of thing, not hearing it second hand like this.

McGonagall agreed, they'd been the leaders of their little gang,

"Little gang?" Remus scoffed, looking genuinely offended by that. "What were Peter and I, tagalongs?"

James and Sirius gave him almost superior smirks. While they would have defended their other two friends to anyone else, forever stating there was an equal bout of friendship between all of them, the two friends would never miss an opportunity to get under Moony's skin, so Sirius said cheekily, "nah, give yourself some credit Remus. I'd say more like groupies."

"Or at least pals," James agreed with a snicker.

Remus looked likely to knock their heads together at the clear teasing, now wishing Peter were here as well so the four of them could have a more proper argument/ jest at each other, but he was also just that little more annoyed that his name hadn't been mentioned for Harry's benefit. Surely if Harry had just found out he was a friend of his father's like Sirius, Harry would have come blasting in and demanded the conversation Remus was so clearly avoiding in the future.

the most troublesome boys she'd ever met, but Hagrid interrupted with a laugh that the Weasley twins could give them a go.

"Exactly what I was about to say," James nodded in agreement, though still unable to wipe that grin off his face that if he was to be remembered for something at school, he was more than happy it was this.

Flitwick piped in that Black and Potter had been inseparable.

"Might as well be by this point," Lily agreed in a mock suffering voice, since James' best friend was round here near as often as her own husband.

Fudge agreed with them all, saying Potter had trusted Black more than any of his friends.

"Now that one hurt," Remus pouted, pressing his hand over his heart.

"Oh please, it's not like I told him that personally," James rolled his eyes in disbelief at the obvious mocking joke.

It had carried on all their life, while Black had been best man at James and Lily's wedding.

"Something I still regret to this day," Lily jibbed, "after the way you flirted with all of my bridesmaids."

Harry didn't hear whatever retort Sirius gave her, he was still trying his very hardest to ignore this sinking feeling that was gathering in him now. While nothing he'd heard so far seemed to awful to him now, there was still something very bad that was fixing to be found out that he'd rather stay buried for the time he was here. He knew without a doubt though that he could never properly explain this feeling, and so forced himself to stay tuned in as Sirius kept going.

He was even Harry's godfather.

"What, no cheeky little comment about that Lil'?" Sirius grinned over at her, clearly looking to pick a fight. This conversation hadn't been going nearly as awful as he'd feared and he wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Lily however only deigned him with a knowing look, unable to argue this point one little bit and knowing she'd still agree to this call every time.

Obviously Harry didn't know that fact, as it would horrify him.

Some of their amusement began ebbing out already, wincing when they reminded themselves why exactly this would be a torment to Harry when now he looked more amused than anything at their light banter. By now Harry had gotten very good at trying to bury his innate feelings, he was refusing to let it show just how uneasy this whole scene was making him. Even James was brushing away that nasty pit he'd felt before, surely Harry not knowing Sirius relation to him had just been the worst part.

Rosmerta guessed it would be so bad because of what Black had been for You-Know-Who.

Sirius still couldn't manage to say that with a straight face, his mouth twitching towards a grimace that anyone would think this, matched by every other person in the room.

Fudge said it got even worse, because most people didn't know that You-Know-Who had even been after the Potters.

"Did we now?" James said, more in mild amusement then anything. This clearly hadn't happened yet, which means they would find out within the next year. Of course this just frustrated him more than anything as he realized his future self knew something he didn't, like why Voldemort was after his family. Which gave James a splitting headache trying to understand that time loop.

Dumbledore himself had put them under protection, using the Fidelius Charm.

"What's that?" Remus asked, clearly puzzled.

Lily was frowning with her head cocked to the side, then huffed in frustration when she admitted, "that's a rather old enchantment, used back in ancient times to protect nobles who were thought to be under threat. I've only read about the theory though, the actual cantation has been lost to time."

"Guess Dumbledore found it," Sirius said without any real surprise, personally thinking their headmaster probably knew a bunch of stuff like this and just didn't share it with the public.

Rosmerta asked what that was, and Flitwick explained it was a secret hidden in a person's mind, and so long as that person known as the Secret-Keeper didn't share it, no one could ever know said secret.

Lily was nodding right along, very happy her old Charm's teacher was explaining it again, since the book she'd been reading it from was a translated and very old version and she hadn't even remembered all of those details.

If the Secret-Keeper had never spoken, Voldemort could have been right at the front door of the Potter house and never known it.

James couldn't help a snort of mirth at that description, despite how horrible the thought still was at this whole scenario.

Rosmerta summarized that Black must have been the Potter's Secret-Keeper.

"Naturally," Remus rolled his eyes in good humor. James however was beginning to frown and shift around in agitation. This sounded like a fool proof plan to him, so what on earth had happened? Had Dumbledore not set up the spell in time, and he and Lily had been killed before Sirius had gotten to play his part?

McGonagall agreed, saying that James had insisted Black would die before giving them away,

"Damned right I would!" Sirius looked outraged anyone would think otherwise.

and Black had even been planning on going underground himself.

"Now that I'd have to see to believe," Remus chuckled, wondering what force had convinced Sirius his life was endangered enough to be pulled out of the fight. Then again, if he and Peter had convinced him that it would be safer for James and Lily's Secret Keeper to be in hiding, well that would make since.

Dumbledore hadn't been convinced though, he'd wanted to be the Secret-Keeper himself.

Sirius scowled so heavily at the book, the object was lucky it didn't burst into flames. Dumbledore suspected him! Whatever faith he'd just held for his headmaster had just disappeared, since these suspicions had clearly been there before he'd even 'committed' that crime, possibly on his mind right now.

None of the others looked any happier at this, Dumbledore's implied actions making all of their blood boil in the worst way.

McGonagall agreed that You-Know-Who had been getting information about their side for ages, and it was someone close to the Potters doing it.

James went pale as ghost in horror. Yes, even now, the Order was beginning to question whether there was a traitor in their midst. The past few missions they'd been in, the Death Eaters had seemed to know a little too much about their plans, but it had to be wrong! No one in the Order could do something like this, let alone one of James friends, least of all Sirius!

Dumbledore had been suspicious for ages that there was a double agent working for both sides,

"I don't believe this," Lily scowled in outrage. "I can't believe any of them would help the other side!"

but James hadn't listened, so Black had been used as Secret-Keeper. Not a week later, Black had been the one to turn over the Potters to You-Know-Who.

"This is absurd," Remus snarled, thinking of the countless times Sirius had stuck his neck out for any of his friends, and now this was his legacy of all things!

While the others continued on in this same manner, insisting something must have gotten lost with time, there must be a piece to this puzzle Fudge was missing in this retelling; Harry was lost in thought. All of this was true, his gut and mind agreed as one with that, but that was all his mind would settle on. Something really was missing, but what? Bright spots of white began flashing across his vision in his need to keep such a memory buried and it was causing his head to pound so furiously it was beginning to drown out his surroundings.

His Mum had obviously seemed to notice, since the next thing he did recognize was her placing a hand on his shoulder. After blinking several times, he tried giving her a wane smile and explained, "there's something I need to remember, but I know the consequences if I do. Something really important about this though..." he trailed off in utter frustration at his inability to grasp at much of anything useful.

Sirius still wanted to lash out and shove that stupid bowler hat over the Ministers clearly screwed up head, but decided his Pup's needs were greater so kept going in hopes it would help.

Black had done this just in time to show his true loyalties,

None of them could ever hear that without wanting to scathe at the absurdity of that statement, but Harry still looked so out of it, and there was that comfort that he still didn't seem to believe this at least, that no one stopped this time to state this.

and he'd timed it just so with the Potter's death.

What Sirius couldn't help was the little gag that would always form whenever he was forced to hear that sentence, let alone say it aloud in any relation to his own hand being involved with this.

Then they knew the rest, and Black was left in an ugly spot.

Sirius shuddered in horror at the moment Fudge was painting. He'd done the numbers obsessively in his head, and it just so happened that the weekend all of this had gone down had most likely been the weekend before his birthday. Nasty position indeed, he'd probably come over there to find his worst nightmare come to life, it was no wonder if he really had gone slightly stir crazy in that moment.

With You-Know-Who fallen, and Black having shown who he really was.

James and Remus were muttering every foul word they'd ever heard, and even made up a few on the spot, at just how ridiculous that whole scenario was. Here they were, desperate to find out what had happened to decimate Harry's future like this, and all they kept getting were false stories and more rumors.

Hagrid started swearing on Black's name,

"My sentiments exactly," Lily muttered, knowing Hagrid hadn't meant it the way she was thinking it towards whoever had really done this, but finding it appropriate nonetheless.

telling how he'd been the one to dig baby Harry out of the destroyed house.

"There's a thought I never bleeding wanted," James and Lily shuddered in disgust of anyone pulling there helpless son out of the ruins of their household.

Black had arrived moments later on that bike of his,

Sirius remembered a much happier time where him showing up on his bike would have been considered such a common occurrence he never would have thought twice about it. Now all he could think was the emotional wreck he was sure would be tearing him apart inside.

and it hadn't even occurred for Hagrid to ask why.

"Wouldn't have freakin' occurred to anyone to ask why he was there," Remus grumbled.

Hagrid had no idea he was the Secret-Keeper.

Remus cocked his head to the side, noting that this clearly hadn't been made public knowledge. Safer yes, but Hagrid had been well aware of most of the goings on of the Order back then.

Dumbledore usually trusted him enough he didn't understand why he would have hid this from him or the rest of the Order. Of course since Dumbledore was wary about a spy...

Black had almost seemed shocked at what he'd seen,

Sirius hardly looked any better now, white and shaking the kindest things you could really call anyone in the room as they were forced once again to revisit what was all a living nightmare to them.

then Hagrid roared at the top of his lungs how he'd tried to comfort him!

Lily sighed as she rubbed at her earlobe, unable to bolster up any kind of anger as Sirius screamed that. The baby kicked up a fuss in James arms for the disturbance, and James excused himself for a moment to go and put the baby down for the night. It truly just wasn't the environment for his son. Once he was back, he slumped back down into his seat as if it were an electric chair, hearing Sirius being forced to read this aloud as good as a death threat to him.

Hagrid had no idea he hadn't been upset over James and Lily,

'Don't think upset rightly covers it' Sirius privately thought, but he was lucky at this point his voice was still intelligible, so he didn't risk saying that.

but You-Know-Who instead.

"I could sit here for years and list all the reasons that sentence is stupid, and still not get halfway through," Remus scoffed.

Black had tried to convince Hagrid to hand over Harry, he wanted to take care of him, but Hagrid had refused, Dumbledore had given the order Harry was to go to his aunt and uncles.

"Thank you for that lovely reminder, really brightened the mood that did," James scowled.

"Worst decision of anyone's life letting that happen," Lily agreed.

Black took some time before he caved,

'Half wish I'd just keeled over then, letting that monstrosity of a life take place' Sirius mentally ragged, but again kept that line to himself.

and offered his bike for a ride there, he wasn't going to need it anymore.

"Now that was just sad Sirius," Remus attempted at a joke, which no one really seemed to find that funny.

Hagrid should have known something was up then,

"To be perfectly honest, I probably would have agreed with Hagrid in that moment if I didn't know the rest," James sighed.

because Black had loved that bike, why hand it over?

Sirius shook his head sadly from side to side, again remembering much happier times when they'd jokingly said and given a very fair reason as to why he'd done this.

Why wouldn't he need it anymore?

"Well obviously it was because he was about to go on a psychotic rampage," Lily scathed, "what other possible reason could there be."

"You still scare me when you do that," James told her with a straight face.

He came to the obvious conclusion that it was because Dumbledore could track that bike, and Dumbledore had known about Black being the Secret-Keeper.

Sirius had to swallow very hard around a pile of bile that was building up in his throat. Sirius would still rather die than let this future come true, especially now that he realized he'd very plainly screwed up somewhere to cause all of this, made him see tiny little black spots that were going to cover up his vision very soon. He was still lucky he could continue blinking all of this out of his eyes and continue reading rather than attempt to say any of this, since he knew his friends would likely smack him in a heartbeat if he said this aloud. They would try and defend him, attempt to come up with some bull loaded excuse that was both lame and probably wouldn't make him feel any better, because at this point, he doubted anything anyone could say would really make him feel better. From the way the spell was set up, it was obvious he must have screwed up somewhere! So unless Harry himself told him that something else happened, and this scenario really didn't leave a lot of wiggle room that wouldn't leave him wanting to throw himself off the nearest tower, he'd just keep that little pit of heartbreak to himself for as long as possible.

Then Hagrid shuddered at the thought of what if he had handed over Harry?

"I actually think that would have turned out a lot better," Remus offered in a conversational tone of voice. "Might have stopped whatever mayhem followed if that had happened."

"I wish, I wish, with all my heart," Lily sighed.

Hagrid guessed he probably would have been dropped in the ocean somewhere.

Sirius really couldn't read that sentence without gagging a few times, using every bit of force within him not to burst into tears at the mental image, let alone Hagrid or anyone thinking he'd been the one to do it.

Rosmerta tried to get to the end, pointing out the good in the Ministry catching up with him, but Fudge said it hadn't been the government at all, but Peter Pettigrew.

Sirius' voice finally switched gears from desolate to confusion all over again. Peter found him? So many questions made that come to mind, it hurt his head just to figure out where to begin.

His reaction was nothing though, compared to Harry's. He clawed at his temple, his eyes screwed so tight in pain it was a wonder he didn't try and curse his own head off to help alleviate it. Which was ridiculous because he'd already heard that name. His family had been using it freely since he'd been here, but there was something there! Something in regards to Peter's name and this subject, if only he could remember... he groaned in frustration as that pent up pain began ebbing out already, blinking horribly as he glanced around to find all eyes on him. He couldn't offer them anything, not even a smile to show that he was okay and already pushing past this, because he wasn't; far from it. He needed to remember something, something so incredibly important but it just wasn't going away or getting any easier. Sirius felt like he'd rather pull out his own teeth then keep going, but it hurt all the more to see his little pup in this kind of pain so read on he did.

He'd been another long standing friend of James, and he must have been one of the ones that knew about Black being Secret-Keeper, so he went after Black.

Sirius let out such a horrible noise none of the others even knew how to define it. He looked likely to keel over any second as the book started shaking so hard it was a wonder it didn't fall out of his hands.

"Sirius?!" both James and Remus said as one in high pitched concern, both looking likely to either smack the life back into him or hug him until he couldn't breathe they sounded so worried.

"It's my fault," Sirius finally croaked out, this time unable to blink away the tears that traced his sallow skin. "I, I did something or, Merlin what did I do?"

"Stop that you idiot!" James snarled, looking very close to either tears himself or punching Sirius through a wall. "Pete reacts without thinking, we all know that." His mind kept scattering around, thinking back to his at the time laughable hysterics upon finding out Sirius' animagus, or how he'd initially flipped out when he'd found out Remus was a werewolf. Peter always did things without thinking them through, surely he was just as grief stricken and upset that he went and blamed it on the nearest available person, Sirius.

Sirius didn't seem to have heard him, he was still shuddering and looking around vacantly like he expected the grim reaper to appear any second. Remus kind of lost his temper, he reached forward and grabbed a fistful of Sirius shirt so that he knew those dark eyes were actually focused on him and snapped, "Really Sirius? You look around this room and you tell me with a straight face you actually believe you would do anything to get them killed." Remus waited a beat for the fog to clear and a look of indignation to cross back over his face before nodding and pushing him back, snapping, "now knock it off before I put you out of your misery."

Harry couldn't help but release a surprised burst of laughter at what he considered an empty threat. You didn't need to know these boys long to recognize an empty threat towards one of their own.

Rosmerta was shocked to hear this, referring to Pettigrew as that fat little tag along they'd had at Hogwarts.

All three of his friends frowned at that comparison, knowing they'd likely have cursed anyone who had said that about their friend. Peter was just as much a Marauder as any of them. Always coming up with the getaway strategy for their pranks and usually considered one of the sneakiest Gryffindors most had met, his jumpy actions now didn't change anything to them one jot.

McGonagall agreed he'd worshiped Black and Potter, though never as magically gifted.

"Maybe not in her class," Remus frowned in annoyance, knowing that Peter had rather excelled in other subjects such as Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, and Potions.

She'd been very strict on him at school, and now regretted those actions, even sounding a bit faint at the reminder.

Sirius couldn't help a teasing smirk light up his features, knowing he'd just love taking the mickey out of Peter for McGonagall showing her soft side when he came up.

Fudge tried to comfort her, saying he'd died a hero.

Then Sirius let out a choking noise like his throat had just closed shut. It hadn't really linked together yet... but 'twelve muggles and one wizard.' 'Peter went after him'...

"Dang it, he stopped breathing again!" Came from a very loud voice on his left, was that James jabbing him in the ribs? Least it wasn't Remus that time. "Sirius?" Crap that was his name, he should probably respond if he could remember how to say anything other than muttering, ",I ki- killed..."

"Course you didn't you idiot," Remus ground out from his other side. "I'm still half convinced this was an imposter or...something else that did the attack to begin with."

Sirius decided that if he ever met a boggart this would probably be his now, the mental image of him killing one of his very best friends, but Remus was right. He could never actually attack him, clearly someone had the wrong information here, so ignoring that his teeth were still trying to chatter out of his skull he still read intelligibly.

People had put him there at the scene, crying with grief as he yelled at Black for getting Lily and James killed.

All four of them shivered, pity filling every one of them for Peter in that moment as they were all convinced that James was right, Peter was just reacting and flipping out and blaming the nearest available person. Surely this imposter had cursed Sirius to keep up charades, there wasn't any other option!

That didn't even begin to cover their shock and heartache at hearing Peter's fate. Because of the miracle that Sirius and Remus had survived, they'd almost been thinking the same of their last friend. It was such a tiny little hope that none of them had even dared think it before now, but it was always there in the back of their mind that surely one of them had survived the war and come out okay. Now that they heard this, that Peter had lost his life the same day Sirius' world had ended, was yet another terrible blow to their view.

Everyone except Harry, who was beside himself trying to stop word vomit from causing him to collapse to the ground. Something so wrong was going on here, it didn't seem possible at this point he could control the pain, but when his mother reached over and cupped his hand in loving warmth, recognizing how much pain he was in from trying to control this, though she was honestly under the false impression that it was the pain of learning all this rather than his forced back memories, he held on just that little bit longer so as not to break down.

Pettigrew had tried to go for his wand, but Black and been faster, and blown him up.

Sirius bitterly remembered mockingly thinking that he was going to kill Peter if he was alive for not coming around for Harry. Now he really meant it when he decided he was going to kill the bastard who had dared to really do that to his friend.

McGonagall was gasping how foolish he had been, should have left it to professionals.

James sadly wanted to agree, thinking it may have saved his friend's life, but he didn't think he could get the words out without bursting into tears as well.

Hagrid said that if it had been him Black wouldn't have had the chance, he'd have torn his limbs off one by one.

Sirius cocked his head to the side at what he considered a very real threat. Honestly at this point he still felt sick enough with himself he might have taken Hagrid up on that offer, but he was worried it may result in another slap from one of his friends so he didn't say that aloud.

Fudge told him he was being ridiculous, Black couldn't have been handled by anyone except their law when he was backed into that corner.

"Don't," Lily said sharply when she registered an almost smug look creep across Sirius' face. She felt bad at once for telling him off for a joke she didn't really think was in good taste, because she'd have rather heard that then the sultry voice he slipped back into the moment he turned back to the book.

Fudge had been one of the first their after the moment was called in, and he vividly remembered all the dead bodies and the destruction.

'Merlin what kind of soul could do that' the others bitterly thought. Of course there were a few more important questions they wanted answered, how had they really framed Sirius for that mess. Why for that matter? Was it because he was a Black and it was more believable, or because he was so openly against Voldemort despite his family name he was an easy target? James' wand appeared in his hand and he kept tapping it against his thigh in agitation that he didn't have a name to curse into oblivion for the cause of all of this mess.

Fudge had to clear his throat then before saying that was that, Black had been taken in, and Pettigrew's mother given Peter's Order of Merlin, First Class.

That wasn't any comfort to anyone in this room, but it was a nice thought anyways for what their friend might have been trying to do. Maybe if whatever hadn't gone so brutally wrong, Peter and Sirius both would have gotten that for stopping this massacre.

Black had been living in Azkaban since that day.

Sirius felt a horrible twitch under his skin, like he really wanted to remember that on top of everything else he'd just learned, but he pressed down on any further questions that sprung to mind so he could finish this nightmare.

Rosmerta asked if Black really was mad, and Fudge agreed that his master's defeat must have done something to him.

'Pretty sure this whole ordeal unhinged him, not to mention where he'd be staying wouldn't help' Lily mentally sighed, but refrained from voicing that.

The way he'd murdered those people had been nothing more than the act of a cruel man.

'And the worst mistake that person ever made in their life' Remus vowed, personally wondering where he'd been in all of this mess. He must have followed up on this, tried to figure out what really happened and what could have happened to Sirius, try to get revenge against the real person who'd killed his friends and all of those innocent people, but he had no ideas right now.

The weird part was, Fudge had seen Black in person, and he'd been acting perfectly normal. He'd even asked Fudge for his paper, saying he missed it.

Sirius released a surprised snort of laughter, one hundred percent certain bored was the last thing he'd been feeling in that hell hole and wondering what on earth he'd been thinking trying to make pleasant conversation with the Minister.

Harry on the other hand gave a surprised jerk, frowning and rubbing at his temple. There it was again, something about Sirius and the paper. There was a key in there, a connection he was missing, but the others were still absorbed enough they didn't seem to notice he was distracted.

Fudge had been shocked at the behaviour, since he was on twenty-four seven watch by the dementors, and lesser people had gone mad sooner.

"There will not be a time I won't want to curl in on myself and cry at the thought of that, but thanks for the reminder," Sirius muttered to himself as he checked how much was left, and gave a blessed sigh of relief when he saw this was almost done.

Rosmerta asked why he'd really broken out, if he was planning on putting You-Know-Who back in power?

James sighed and laid his face in his hands, more than tired of repeating himself about how stupid that was, but refrained from saying it again for the sake of getting this done.

Fudge agreed that was his ultimate plan, but they were going to get Black before that.

"Ha." Harry said lightly, shaking his head from side to side at how absurd that sounded to him. This gave the others a little more life to cling on to, Harry finding that sentence laughable was a very good omen for how this should all play out in the end.

They drank a bit more, but then McGonagall mentioned the time and said Fudge had a dinner with Dumbledore.

Lily couldn't help but release a surprised snort of laughter that came out rather runny at how lightly all of this seemed to be taken by everyone but them. She'd personally hold down the loon who thought they could mess with her family and get away with it, and the fact that these teachers took this matter as a passing side story was pretty insulting to her.

They all up and left, and Hermione and Ron ducked down to see Harry's blank white face, while they were all lost for words.

That was pretty accurate to how everyone else in the room felt as well.

HPHPHPHP

*That is the actual response from JK herself as to how the twins worked that out. I personally had another headcanon for this.

**Nickname suggested for James by Shakira94 and MelodyGirl239 but I thought it suited Harry a bit more. I am a proud owner of my own Marauder's Map, which I've stared at for so many hours I'm convinced my dot will appear on it!

#fanfiction #Harry Potter #Reading the books #Marauders #James Potter #Lily Potter #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #PoA

[honeyhellsbells]

Some Obey me Headcanons!

This wasn’t anything requested, nor is it canon, just a few things I thought about while playing the game and brought together in a post that is far too long :) feel free to add your own thoughts and opinions, what you agree or disagree with!

Lucifer

Chronic nailbiter. He is constantly under a lot of stress and while he has trained himself to stop bouncing his legs this habit never really went away. Asmodeus is the only one who knows since he is on permanent manicure duty and once tried one of those bitter tasting nail polishes only to have to run for his life when Lucifer found out. The only thing that works for him are his trusty gloves which he only takes off for the bathroom and for the rare times he goes to sleep.

Dyes his hair black every once in a while. While his hair grows very slowly the same stress that makes him bite his nails gifts him with a few stray grey hairs every now and then. Of course his appearance is important to him and he could not bare the teasing he would have to endure from his brothers so he just uses hairdye.

No one but Barbatos knows how much sugar he usually puts in his coffee. He would never admit that he hates the bitter taste but he is not too fond of milk either so he drowns it in sugar. The demon butler is still the only person to brew it to perfection, but he is also a little shit that sometimes puts enough sugar in to make the coffee solid.

Mammon

Actually quite good with money when it comes to calculating, his uncontrollable greed just always wrecks his plans before they can work out.

He once won the jackpot of the biggest lottery in the Devildom and spent almost everything in one night. Against popular belief though, most of the money went towards his brothers, as he purchased most of the things they had wished for for a long time anonymously. All of them know where it came from but Mammon gets far to embarrassed to actually admit to it.

He gets constant nightmares, by now they keep him up almost every night, but he thinks that he can't go to his brothers for comfort since they would only end up making fun of him. Little did he know that he once spilled the beans to his little (big) brother Beelzebub after a long night of getting drunk and since then the glutton made sure to always give him some of his special good night tea before curfew. Mammon doesn't know what it is supposed to do but he doesn't complain since it tastes nice and it's rare that his brothers do something genuinely nice for him.

Leviathan

He didn't pay for most of the snacks he hoards in his room, they mostly come from raffles he entered and never won the first price for. Of course he shares most of the food he doesn't like but other than that he has enough provision to stay locked in his room for months at a time.

Sometimes he gets so engrossed in his video games that he just forgets to take care of himself. More often than he'd like to admit he had been dragged out of his room by one of his brothers to get rid of the stench and to be thrown in the nearest bathtub. Sometimes he does it on purpose since he likes being taken care of.

Has a very nice singing voice. Starting from singing along with the anime openings he likes he started to take online lessons. While Asmodeus could charm some people as a lead singer of a cover band, Levi has the potential to actually become famous with his voice. He is very dedicated to his hobbies, whether it's gaming or singing and he has improved spectacularly in a very short amount of time. But he is also very shy and so for now his only audience is whichever Henry is currently sharing a room with him.

Asmodeus

While charming people is as easy as breathing to him, he actually feels more lonely every time a person enters and exits his bedroom. Not that he would ever admit it, but his charm often feels more like a curse. How is he supposed to know if the people he shares a bed with are actually attracted to him as a person or just to the Lust he practically radiates?

He craves attention and affection for the same reason. While he likes looking good for himself, hearing praises from strangers and more importantly from his brothers, makes him feel more like a person again.

As the Avatar of Lust he enjoys sex more than most but what he craves the most from it is the intimacy. He is always down for rougher sessions but most days he prefers a gentle partner. He also gets quite offended and hurt when his partner wants to skip aftercare, not matter how intense things got. The act itself is important to him but being taken care of afterwards and being allowed to take care of them as well is even more so. Being denied that pleasure is unforgivable to him.

Can't stand pick up artists. If he sees a lady or a gentleman being targeted he often just slips in between, stealing the prey right from the despicable predator before offering them something to drink and an explanation. Seeing those people trudge away dejected with their tails between their legs brings him the biggest high he could imagine.

He has so many sugar demons, he hardly has to pay for anything himself. Cosmetics, clothing, food, you name it, he has someone who will provide and he is quite liberal with sharing when it comes to his loved ones.

Satan

Suppressing his anger gives him frequent headaches. Reading usually makes it worse but by now he is so used to the dull ache that he can mostly ignore it. It's a secret between the two of them but every once in a while Lucifer will take Satan out to a remote location where he can explode to his hearts content and scream at his older brother as much as he needs to make the headaches fade. It doesn't help with his hate for his brother but at least it makes him feel a little better.

He reads the fastest out of most demons he knows. He isn't sure if its due to how much he actually reads or if it's just a talent he has been born with but he is able to retain the information on a page by just skimming over it.

The only time he can really forget his anger and his troubles is when he get to play with some cats or dogs. Animals have never cared for his temper, if anything most of them were even more drawn to him than to any of his brothers. He once spent three hours sitting on the floor of a shelter because a family of three kittens fell asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake them. It was a bit embarrasing that he needed help to stand up again afterwards because both of his leg fell asleep.

Beelzebub

Even with the vast amount of food he consumes constantly, Beel is quite picky when it comes to spices and textures. Some spices give him a horrible stomach ache and certain textures are so gross to him that they make him gag. Unfortunately he tends to forget which spices and ingredients he doesn't like so it's always a new game of Russian Roulette when he goes to dinner at a new place.

Some restaurant owners in the Devildom have blacklisted him. At first they were ecstatic having a demon lord in their establishment but that soon turned into horror when he ate them all out of house and home only to wander over to the next restaurant after he had paid his bill. Other owners on the other hand always keep extra ingredients on hand just in case if he decides to drop in, which he always does.

He loves children, but he is a bit too scared to approach them to play. He's a big guy and even stronger than he looks so he is worried he might scare them off or hurt one of them on accident. During the internship Diavolo had suggested, where each demon still in school should try to find a job they could see themselves working in the future, Beelzebub had dared to intern in a demon daycare.

Against his worries the little ankle biters loved him to bits, crawling all over the tree of a demon, hanging from his arms and legs as he tried to clean up after them only to end up covered in children again during nap time.

Belphegor

He has his special pillow for a reason. While others tended to make fun of his appearance in demon form, after all a cow seemed hardly intimidating compared to some of his brothers, his twin made sure to let him know how awesome he thought he looked until he presented him with his own custom made pillow scented with the perfume oils Lilith had loved to wear when she had snuck out to earth.

He hates being so lethargic the entire day. He often gets jealous of his brothers going out without him since he often can't go too many hours without a nap. Sometimes he gets himself sick by falling asleep in the park in an effort to get some fresh air only to get rained on for a good hour until his body decided to wake him up again.

He is quite good at some sports though. His motivation and strenghts tends to come in waves and once is feels at least kind of rested enough he could easily take down Lucifer or Beelzebub in a fight or outrun any of them without any kind of competition.

Solomon

He genuinely doesn't know how old he actually is. He knows when and where he was born but dabbling in magic sometimes came with unforseen consequences. While he always managed to find a way out, he had accidently sent himself straight into the void more than once. Magic was funny like that and there was no way of knowing how the time was flowing there. He stopped wondering about it after he almost gave poor Barbatos a stroke when he asked him to look into his future and whether or not something like that was bound to happen again any time soon. He took his reaction as a clear yes.

Forgery is one of his specialities. He can't very well use official papers with his actual birthdate so he became a master at producing any kind of ID or license he might need. He does have a drivers license but nobody can tell if it's actually legit or not (it isn't).

Experimenting and tasting potions has indefinitely messed up his sense of taste and smell. The only reason why his cooking is so awful and he doesn't seem to care is because everything tastes the same for him. Not even the spiciest of peppers can make him feel anything which he likes to take advantage of to make people freak out. There is nothing more funny to him than to watch other peoples eyes grow bigger and bigger as he chows down on one Carolina Reaper after the other as if they were just candy.

Luke

He tends to get quite underestimated only for his size. Angels come in all shapes and sizes and he actually is not that much younger than Simeon or much weaker. But while he is more used to doing „office work“, Simeon gets to work in the field more often, making Luke a little softer around the edges, at least when it comes to appearance.

He loves baking but too much sweets or sugar make him sick very easily. Mostly he bakes them for the aesthetic anyways and because has a reason to pester Barbatos for new recipes. The demon butler scares him a little but he always tends to let some gossip slip when distracted and Luke valued that kind of information a lot.

Since he was always kind of seen as the harmless little kid, angels and demons alike never saw him as a threat and just talked trash around him all the time. If he ever got fed up from the mistreatment he would have enough verbal ammunition to start another Celestial War. The only person he confides in is Simeon, which makes him even more glad that they got to go to the Devildom together.

Simeon

Surprisingly naive for an angel of his age and rank. He tends to say he's just very friendly or forgiving but many compare him to a doormat and wouldn't be too far from the truth. Good luck to those however that manage to get him genuinely angry. Satan had nothing on this angel if he got fed up enough. Angels were pacifists by nature but Simeon has a tongue sharper than a razorblade and no fucks left to give once he has reached his limit. He never has to raise his voice but the pure venom that spouts from his mouth is enough to make even Lucifer cry. Even though his anger is always justified he always feels bad afterwards.

He is very sensitive to tastes and smells but he also doesn't want to hurt the feelings of the person that went through the trouble of cooking for him. He clears his plate with a gentle smile and compliments the food but he can't help to throw up later once he is by himself again.

He was one of the angels tempted to follow the gems of heaven into rebellion. It was no secret that he and Lucifer were close during their time together in the Celestial Realm and the Morning Star often confided in him when he thought that things were getting to much for him. He never did rebel but he still often thinks about how different his life would be now if he would've followed them to hell.

Diavolo

While appearing confident, he still doubts his every move as future King. He always had the feeling that his father didn't care too much about relations between realms and in a way he hadn't either until recently. He thinks the exchange program was a good step in the right direction but he always wonders if something like this could turn sour very fast as well. The peace, if you could call it that, between the Celestial Realm and the Devildom was still very unstable and while heaven and hell would be quite unaffected if another war was to break out, he couldn't help but think about the real victims. Humans were at fault for most of their own wars but to involve them in something so much larger than them was just wrong.

He doesn't understand much of it, but he absolutely loves internet culture with their funny words and memes that he always takes out of context and uses wrong, much to Levis chargrin. The ones he actually understands he still uses in the wrong way just to make others angry. Just because he is to be king, doesn't mean that he always has to act that way.

He frequently thinks about taking a human as a partner. Of course there would be risks, but what better way to build a bridge between the realms than this? His heirs would be half demon, half human, with all the perks of both races and none of the downsides, right? As usual it fell to Lucifer and Barbatos to stop the daydreams of the prince since while it might sound good in his head, just the bureaucratic mess such a marriage would produce was more than reason to talk him out of it. But it still didn't keep him from his usual trek to the human realm to scope out possible suitors.

Barbatos

Another person who doesn't know how old he actually is, but unlike Solomon, Barbatos doesn't remember ever been born either. He's not sure if he had always been a demon or if he had been an angel just like the demon lords, but by now he has stopped caring to find out. For all his life he had been dedicated to keeping reality in check and keep idiots from meddling with the timelines, as well as serving the current king or prince of the Devildom. By now it was the only thing he knew to do and the only thing he felt confident in doing. He's probably the only person who is a hundert percent honest that he has none when asked what his hobbies are.

He never had an issue with his temper, until Diavolo became ruler of hell and the harbingers of chaos fell from the sky. Since then he went from his usual schedule of cleaning, making food and organizing the schedule of the ruler as well to trying his best to keep himself from just chucking the entire tray of the afternoon coffee at Diavolo when he kept pestering him with his stupid jokes. (Diavolo got doused in scalding hot coffee a least three times by now)

If asked he couldn't also possibly say when he last had a proper meal sitting down. He usually snacks on the ingredients he uses while cooking, taste testing everything to make sure Diavolo won't end up throwing another tantrum. Because of that he gets frequent indigestion due to the fact that many of the ingredients are not actually meant to be consumed raw, but Barbatos is a busy demon and a stomach ache is just another inconvenience for him.

If he got one Grimm for every sigh and every urge he suppressed to throw haymakers 24/7 out of frustration he could've bought Diavolos castle millenia ago.

#not a request #headcanons #obey me #obey me shall we date #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #luke #solomon #simeon #diavolo #barbatos

[popculturebuffet]

Battle of the Episodes: Celebrity Deathmatch: Rockstarmageddon Vs When Animals Attack

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a minty fresh new segment on the blog cooked up by longtime fan and friend of the blog weirdkev27, named by me: BATTLE OF THE EPISODES! In this new segment I take two similar episodes from a show or franchise and put them up against one another and see which ones better. He pitched the idea to me for something he could do, he had two patreon reviews free so I suggested why not do it in April and here we are! 

Before I begin I will admit I’d forgotten PieGuyRulez had done a similar idea with his podcast ReCast, which I’d never seen and only vaugely heard of. However I feel what i’m doing here is still diffrent enough to keep doing, I have nothing but respect for the guy, and I promise to not do any topics he’s done. If you have any suggestions for this new segment, i’d love to hear them. I already have another one in mind for when I have a free moment on the schedule that I simply didn’t get around to next month.

But for our innugural contest, Kev being the one who pitched it picked the show and it’s a show i’m only passingly familiar with as I did see bits of it growing up: Celebrity Deathmatch. Celebrity Death Match was a late 90′s and early 2000′s tv show on MTV with a revivial on MTV2. It was born both out of a short done for MTV’s Cartoon Sushi, their equilvent of Oh Yeah Cartoons! and What a Cartoon, pitting Charles Manson against Marilon Manson, and that short was popular enough to lead to a special after the superbowl. Said special ended up being the highest rated progam MTV had broadcast at the time, so naturally it got a four season series.

The premise is exactly what it says: two celebrties battle it to the death in goofy claymation fights, one shall stand, one shall fall. Meanwhile our hosts Johnny and Nick banter and set up the fights, talk to interviewers etc. It’s essentially a combination of wrestling and celebrity mockery, and unsuprisingly given MTV’s teen audience who loved pop culture and a bit of the ultra violence it was a massive hit. 

The show later got a revivial a few years after it ended on MTV2, which fans often derided and which I saw more of as I was watching MTV2 at the time... look i’m not proud of the fact i watched “Where My Dogs at?” and i’m even less proud I watched “The Adventures of Chico and Guapo”. But with shows like that you can imagine how high quality the reboot was and how much fans flocked to it. Me I never took to either incarnation. I don’t HATE the show and do appricate it’s gorgeous claymation and copious use of Stone Cold Steve Austin. I love that beer drinking, hell raising, boss humliationg hellion, it’s just the combination of modern celebrity mockery, something that rarely ages well unless the joke is just funny on it’s own, and ultra violence never appealed to me as I was a pretty squeamish kid and teen.. i’ve grown out of that, but I just had no real desire to go back. It’s not a bad show but it’s not really one for me, but I get why i’ts well loved and popular. 

But being a death match fan, and given the similar premisses, Kev picked this to be our inagural contest. Pitting the original against the reivvial. For this he went with two death match time machine episodes: the original’s finale rockstarmageddon and the revivial’s when animals attack. Each episode has it’s own unique theme within the general theme of a dead person versus their successor... and a very much alive person one or both of the hosts thought was dead versus their succesor as a joke: the first is about rockstars and their supposed imitators, the second is about putting two animal themed people against one another.

Each Battle of the Episodes will have diffrent comparisons as every show or franchise is different, comics are also open for this by the by. So for this one i’ll be comparing time machine use, the person explaning the machine, individual episode theme, the joke about one of the “dead” combatants turning out ot be alive, and each of the three matches.  How many will also very, either 5 or 7 depending on how many talking points i have. So with that in mind LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE under the cut and see which episode walks away a champion and which episode walks away a bloody pile of clay on the floor. 

Doing the matches first as a lot of this stuff overlaps with the later bits. 

Round 1: Lenny Kravitz Vs Jimmy Hendrix VS Horatio Sanz Vs Chris Farley Whelp this was a bad start to BOTH episodes as these matches are the worst of each episode and all 6 matches period. So it’s less which is better as both are a black hole of comedy.. and more which one sucks slightly less. 

The Jimmy Hendrix vs Lenny Kravitz bout is just.. a black hole of comedy, It’s VERY clear the writers hated Kravitz but to me in 2020.. it just hasn’t aged well. I just don’t CARE about Lenny Kravitz. He had maybe one good song, are you gonna go my way, and that’s it. He was not good.. but he was an easy target for the time and an easily forgotten one now. It’s not smart, clever or even cathartic to watch him die. He’s also nowhere similar enough to Hendrix for the comparison to work: for one he had a vastly diffrent look most of the times and for another at most both played guitars and were not white. That’s it.  It just dosen’t work. 

The finisher here is just also... one of the objectively worst grossout bits i’ve seen in animation and i’m almost 30. That’s a LOTTTT of stupid gross gags that aren’t funny. The two vomit into each others mouths. Yes really. Not only is this really disprectful to hendrix death, as ODing on drugs is not something I really find funny nor the show makes funny, but it’s just.. horrifying to think about and gross and makes me want to , ironically enough, vomit thinking about. it’s just deeply unpleasant easily the worst thing i’ve encountered in my time reviewing so far, and it’s going to be a hard bar to clear. This match sucked and it left a bad taste in my mouth. 

Now as for the Horatio Sanz vs Chris Farley Match...

I honestly have never seen Horatio Sanz that i’m aware of and unlike Kravitz who at least is mildly memorable if not a very good musician, Sanz has just been.. forgotten. I don’t know anything about him and once again it feels like the show punching down, picking an easy target versus a legend. 

And speaking of easy targets the entire segment is just fat jokes. Just a ton of fat jokes. No really, it’s a battle of “Hog vs hog”, chris eats a lot and hte main joke is Chris Farley can’t stay alive long enough to fight. That being said while I find the joke in VERY poor taste, as Farley died of a heart attack and was a really good person and having his death be a punch line just bothers me.... I’ll admit it’s at least clever to have one of the death match time machine contestants come back again, and again, and again. It’s not Funny, it’s horrific.. but I can at least say they put in some effort ofr that one gag and given the horrifying lack of effort for the other match this one BARELY gets the W Winner: When Animals Attack: 

Round 2: Shaggy vs Bob Marley VS Christan Bale vs Adam West

This one’s a no contest... seriously the gulf between jokes is wide and deep.

The Shaggy Vs Marley bout is the best of Rockstarmageddon. It’s funny, the target actually deserves being made fun of as Shaggy was a talent vacum and is memorably bad in comparison to Kravitz, so I still like seeing him get roasted, and they find a lot of funny jokes to do with Bob Marley. I only have a passing familiarity with the guy and while they do the obvious weed joke, they also have him ask for a tiny hammer or a small axe, beat shaggy with his dreads and after using a ring post to kill him, MAKING HIS REMAINS INTO A BONG (hilariously called a “legal novelty smoking device by the commentators). This match shows me why the show was popular: not every match was GOOD.. but the ones that were were creative and a joy to watch. While I sitll feel it’s mildly punching down, it’s funny enough I don’t care. 

Bale Vs West just sucks both by comparison and just in general; The IDEA of having the current Batman at the time and the 60′s one duke it out is great.. but it’s very clear they didn’t like Batman begins nor have any actual christian bale jokes. While this was pre terminator rant and the much more iconic dark knight, if they didn’t have any good jokes , why do this. They just have nothing and are insulting a legitimately good movie instead of making anything funny and making cracks about everyone thinking Adam West is dead. More on that in a bit, but it’s just really not funny and really wasted my time... though West turning him into a batsignal of the cross was clever i’ll admit. 

Winner: Rockstarmageddon

Round 3: Dave Matthews vs Keith Richards VS Jamie Fox vs Ray Charles

Another mistmatch.. but this time in the opposite direction.

Dave Matthews Vs Keith Richards sucks. While there are some good gags up top, we’ll get to that in it’s own section, the match itself just isn’t funny and I really don’t get comparing the stones to dave matthews band. the two bands aren’t remotely similar. The most clever it gets is Dave injecting Richards with his blood, which mellows him out but also revitalizes Richards. There’s a few good jabs at richards but otherwise just nothing of susbtance and like Kravitz Dave Matthews Band has been largely forgotten and unlike Kravitz or Shaggy, just doesn’t seem like as valid a target.

Fox vs Charles on the other hand was a great misdirect, changing his opponent and “punking” fox, forcing him to go from someone he was ready to throw down with to someone he rejects. There are way too many mr mcgoo style I’M BLINDDDDD gags, but Fox is a much more deserving target, and they had far more clever gags, with charles pulling out a cat o n grammys, and using a piano to finish Jamie. It’s nothing GREAT... but at least it’s actually funny and actually picked a good target for the time, if not one that has aged well. 

Winner: When Animals Attack. 1 to 2

Round 4: Who Used the Time Machine Better?

Narrowly .. rockstarmageddon. While it had the same justification for it, the original taking on an upstart attempted replacement, the keith richards gag we’ll get to in a second is better than the farley gag for not being grossly insensitive and unfunny. But neither really use it well; Rockstarmageddon just uses it to mock artists they like and Animals uses it because the first one did. Neither really had a clever idea for it other than “get it this person sucks compared to that one. 

Winner: Rockstarmageddon. 2 to 2

Episode Theme: 

Similar to the time machine, this one comes down to which one had the better indvidual theme... and i’d have to say it’s Rockstarmageddon. It used the theme POORLY, but at least it both had an interesting idea, dead rock stars vs their successors in modern day, versus an easy one (animal matchups) it abandoned for the final match and used REALLY fucking insultingly in the first match. Seriously I don’t mind a WELL done fat joke, as an overweight guy myself, but this was just...

In it’s purest form. 

Winner: Rockstarmageddon 3 to 2

Special Guest:

Each episode had a guest for the time machine... and this one is again no real contest, Rockstarmageddon wins. 

For Rockstarmageddon the show brought back frequent guest star , wrestling legend Stone Cold Steve Austin, who I enjoy and was indeed part of my childhood and star of many video games and one of my brother’s all time favorite wrasslers. The show contrasts his blue collar hellion image with him having made the machine, getting quantum mechanics and unlike nick getting that Keith Richards is dead. Austin clearly gets the show, is fully on board playing along and has fun escorting Hendrix back to the machine and getting his revenge on Nick for doubting him that Keith Richards was alive. He just fits perfectly into the show. 

The revival.. could not get him, likely because he didn’t want to or saw the script and rightfully stone cold stunnered them, i.e. what he shoudl’ve done when Adam Sandler offered him Grown Ups 2. Seriously Adam why bring him in if he’s not going to do something wrestling related to you? This is why people don’t like your films. That and you keep giving your old buddy rob increasingly racist work. And david spade work. And nick swarsdon work. Please do keep giving Shaq work though he’s actually not half bad. 

So instead they bring in Einstein and the joke.. is that he swears a lot and drinks a lot and pulls his pants down at the end.> That.. that’s it. I mean the original , at least the episode given to me, didn’t make a GREAT impression, but at least it was creative. The Reboot came off as shockingly lazy and half assed, with lesser voice actors for our hosts and far less effort put in and this is the biggest emblem of that. Soooo

Winner; Rockstarmageddon 4 to 2

Final Round: Their Not Dead

The final round is a short one and while the winner is already decided, might as well. Both episodes do a joke about one of the guests NOT being dead.. but once again Rockstar is more clever about it. Nick is CERTAIN Keith Richards is dead, and forces Stone Cold to bring him to the present... only for Keith to show up, and there be two keiths. One fades away due to time travel stuffs, a REALLy damn good gag, and Nick’s dogged instance he’s not dead despite everyone knowing he isn’t is just damn funny. 

IN contrast all they have for the late great Adam West.. is insisting he’s dead. That’s it. that’s all they got. It’s not funny, it’s disprectful to Adam who while not an a list actor did a ton of stuff after batman. I mean the simpsons alone should shut them the fuck up...

This one short gag is a MUCH better one than that entire 7 minutes. It was also DEEPLY uncomfortable now Adam’s passed. So naturally

The Winner of this Segment and Overall; Rockstarmageddon. 

I wouldn’t say I LIKED either episode this go round, both had some pretty bad spots..but it’s very clear that while the original had it’s flaws, it was creative, had tons of energy, and a great voice cast. The revivial... has a good chris farley impersonator and that’s it. It’s very clear the people behind the reboot just don’t get the show and are doing the lazy bare minimum. While I didn’t LIKE most of the matches in Rockstarmageddon, I can at least respect the craftmanship: the animation, host jokes and energy is just BETTER. There’s a care and craft the revivial dosen’t have and the drop in quality is noticeable. 

So yeah overall the original wins.. but the episode chosen clearly wasn’t it’s best. That being said both had some good moments, and I would be open to watching more if any one wants to comission it. This experiment has been intresting so let me know in the comments if you want to see more of these and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. And please join my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. 

#celebrity deathmatch #lenny kravitz #jimmy hendrix #keith richards #dave matthews #shaggy #bob marley #adam west #christian bale #horatio sanz #chris farley #jamie fox #ray charles

[lookimtryingmybest]

“How to accidentally die, meet a shady ghost and become a half demon” A story by Logan Freud.

Part 1 Part 2

It was a quiet Sunday morning. Logan had left a note for his parents on the kitchen counter, grabbed his keys, and left the house. He played some music in his headphones as he made his way to the location where he had agreed to meet the others. The street noise was something he’d rather not deal with this early in the morning.

He knew the way. He knew which crossroads were dangerous. He knew to be more aware of his surroundings. Logan wasn’t going to be completely deaf to the world. He knew what he was doing.

Logan spotted Virgil on the meeting point, just across the street. Early as always, he noted.

He was going to cross safely. He swore to himself over and over that he was going to do it. Wait for the speeding cars to pass and then cross. 

But he couldn’t ignore the kid he spotted, standing in the middle of the road. 

Without thinking twice, something Logan didn’t have the tendency to do, he started running. He moved to grab the kid’s arm and pull him away.

He passed right through him.

The kid stared at him, and Logan stared back.

“You can see me?” The kid asked.

And before Logan could respond, he got hit by a car.

Virgil cursed when he saw Logan run and just stop. In the middle of the road. 

He screamed when he got hit.

He doesn’t remember much of what happened later. His legs moved for him, and someone called an ambulance.

The ambulance wasn’t fast enough.

Virgil’s memories started becoming more vivid after his parents got him home. He explained that they just wanted to meet and go have fun in the park. They just wanted to enjoy the swings and the slide without being looked at weird by the little kid’s mothers.

He stayed in his room for the rest of the day. His friends called. He ignored every one of those calls. 

His mind kept repeating the accident. How Logan ran. 

He never thought Logan could do something so careless. So stupid.

Virgil curled up in his bed, buried under blankets. He didn’t try to stop the tears.

“What the fuck has just happened.” Logan said, as he opened his eyes again. He remembered a kid, with golden eyes, and being on the road. Then everything became blurry. He thought he might’ve heard Virgil screaming over twenty one pilots’s ride. 

He looked around him. He was standing up. And dressed up in a suit. How did he wake up this way?

He saw Virgil from a distance, along their mutual friends. Logan smiled. 

He ran to them.

“Virgil!” He shouted. Virgil didn’t react. “Virgil?” 

Logan moved to grab his shoulder. He passed through him. He tried again. “Virgil? Virgil, listen to me!” He kept trying to grab him, failing.

He turned to the others. Patton was holding back tears, as he held Remus’s hand. Remus was a mess, not even trying to hold back on his sobbing. Roman kept drying away his own tears, smudging his eyeliner beyond recognition. 

“Guys?” Logan said, trying to get their attention. “Remus? Patton?” He tried to grab them. He passed through them. “Roman?”

He turned again, trying to understand what they were so upset about.

Oh. That made sense.

Logan saw himself, wearing the same tux he was wearing now, laid down in a coffin. Lilacs on his hands. Lilacs were always his favourites.

He gulped. No, this couldn’t be real, right? He couldn’t be dead, he was still here. He just needed for the others to see him.

Logan didn’t believe in ghosts.

Oh, the irony, he thought, once he had calmed down. After the funeral, his funeral, ended, not knowing which of his friends to follow. 

Something on the back of his mind told him to follow Virgil. And so he did.

Virgil’s house was old. Very old. Remus liked to joke it was haunted. It was a running gag now, Virgil had even made up Dennis, the ghost that lived in his house and that liked pushing his stuff to the ground like a bastard cat.

That joke didn’t seem so funny now to Logan.

He followed Virgil to his room and watched him burry himself in homework as a distraction. Logan could hear the music blasting from the headphones.

He looked around his room, not knowing what to do. He tried touching things. Anything. Nothing worked.

Logan looked around the house. He saw Virgil’s parents. They were talking. Logan decided it wasn’t his business. 

He went to the living room. 

And there was the kid from before, watching the TV.

Logan stared at the kid. They should be around his age, probably younger. He was dressed in dirty pajamas, no shoes on. His hair was a mess of brown curls and his skin was dark.

The kid turned to face him, and Logan saw the other half of his face.

He screamed. 

The kid jumped to his feet, startled by Logan’s presence. 

“Virgil, did you leave the TV on again?” Virgil’s father asked, entering the room. Both ghosts watched him as he turned off the TV and left.

Then they went back to staring at each other.

“Aw, man, I was watching that…” The kid complained, turning to the TV. He avoided Logan’s gaze. 

“What happened to your face?” Logan asked, trying not to look to half part of the kid’s face.

The kid grimaced. “Rude.” He said, sitting on the carpet again. “Why are you still here?”

“My apologies.” Logan said. He considered sitting next to the kid. “I was simply… surprised.” 

The kid scoffed. “You mean disgusted? Yeah, I get that a lot. Why are you still here?”

“What do you mean?” Logan said, sitting next to the kid. The kid moved away from him. 

“Move on, continue your business, however you wish to call it.” He said. “Why haven’t you done that already?”

“I can do that?” Logan asked.

“Yes.” The kid said. “Everyone does so. So just do it and leave me alone.”

Logan stared at the kid. He tried to do what he was doing. Move on. But he didn’t know how to do that. 

“I’m afraid I can’t.” Logan said. “Who are you?”

The kid turned to face him again, frowning. Logan made an effort not to stare at the burned flesh. “What do you mean you can’t? Everyone can!” He said, gesturing widely. 

“Well, if everyone can, why haven’t you moved on?” Logan asked.

The kid dropped his arms, staring at nothing for a few moments. “Almost everyone can. I can’t.” 

“Well, then, I suppose I’m in the same situation as you.” Logan said. He held out his hand for the kid. “I’m Logan Freud. And you?”

The kid stared at his hand before shaking it. Logan noticed how his hands were dirty with blood and ashes. “Janus.” He said. “Although Virgil calls me Dennis. He got the idea of that weird show about vampires. I really like that show.” 

“Buffy the vampire slayer, yes, I know that sho–wait you’re who?” Logan said.

“Janus. Yeah, I’ve been bothering Virgil for a while now. He’s fun to mess with.” He said, trying to sound causal. He failed, being far too awkward for this. 

“Oh my fucking god.” Logan said. “I thought you were a joke”

“Yeah, Virgil thinks so too.” Janus said, scratching the burn tissue on his hands, avoiding Logan’s gaze.

“I’ve laughed at the mere idea of you existing.” Logan said.

“Yeah, I know.” Janus said, getting tired of the topic. “I was there.”

“I… god, fuck…” Logan said, laughing. He didn’t even know why he was laughing. “I’m dead. Fuck, I’m dead.”

“Yep.” Janus said. “Welcome to the club.” He stood up. “Imma leave ya to your existential crisis and go bother Virgil.” 

Logan stared at the TV, as he heard Janus left. He stood up after a few moments. 

He didn’t notice he was heading to his home until he passed through the door. He heard their parents talking in the kitchen.

Logan couldn’t decipher what his parents were saying. He heard the words, but he couldn’t just figure them out. 

His parents weren’t crying. They weren’t grieving.

They didn’t care. 

Logan went back to the living room. He traced his fingers through his old piano. He should’ve played it more often when he was alive. It’s not like he loved doing so, but it was a good de-stressing method.

He pressed his hands against the keys. He jumped back when sound came out. After a few seconds of staring at the piano, he tried to grab the pillows on the sofa. Nothing. He passed through them.

He hesitated before placing his hands against the keys. He started playing a melody he knew from back when he was five.

He stopped when his mother entered the room, looking paler than usually. Logan moved away from the piano, smiling. 

“Mom, I–” He dropped his smile when his mother walked straight through him. 

He watched her close the piano’s lid and push the stall under it. She didn’t even bother putting the protective cloth on the keys before slamming the lid close.

Logan bit back tears as he tried to get the lid to open. It didn’t. He screamed in frustration and tried to hit something. He just kept passing through the furniture, which didn’t help calming him down.

He crumbled to the ground, hugging his knees. He let the tears ran down.

He was dead, he no longer cared. 

No one could see him. 

Not even his parents cared.

Roman had thrown himself into sewing. He grabbed his latest project right after breakfast and spent hours on it. 

He didn’t notice how thirsty he was until Remus forced him to go eat lunch. He almost didn’t believe how much time he’d spent focused on his dress. His hands hurt.

Remus didn’t look better either. He had stayed in bed until three o’clock, ignoring Roman. And the world. He hadn’t even bothered changing clothes since the funeral. 

They sat at the kitchen, as Remus forced his twin to eat some fruit. 

“Logan’s parents called” Remus said, peeling an orange with numb fingers. “They’re leaving for the month.”

“Oh.” Roman said, watching Remus struggle with the peel. He’d usually bit into the orange like an apple and spit out the peel later. “Ok.” 

“They’re asking us to watch over the house while they’re gone.” Remus said leaving the peeled orange on the counter. He wasn’t hungry anyways.

“Ok” Roman said again. “Jerk move. But ok.” He gulped down his chocolate milk. “You should eat as well.”

“I know.” Remus said. “I will.” He took the orange and contemplated it.

“Are they asking us to go inside?” Roman asked, watching his brother munch on the orange as if it was an apple, juice dripping down his arm. 

“Yeah.” Remus said, his mouth full. “Once per day, to check for squatters.”

“As if people were dumb enough for choosing an obviously occupied house.” Roman said, bitterness slipping into his tongue. He had never liked Logan’s parents much. “Let’s get this over with for today.” He stood up, leaving his mug on the sink. “I want to finish the dress today.”

“You said it would take you a few weeks to finish…” Remus said, following him. Orange juice dripped to the floor. None of the twins mentioned it.

“Did I fucking stutter?” Roman asked. 

Remus just shrugged. “They left the keys under the doormat.”

“Stupid decision.” Roman pointed out. Remus hummed in agreement.

Roman contemplated the option of changing clothes. The pajamas were comfortable, though, and he wanted to get this over with as fast as he could. Get into the house, check the rooms and go back to sewing until his hands fell off.

Remus opened the door and clicked the lights on. Neither of the twins made any attempts to move inside the house. 

Roman grimaced. “Let’s get this over with.” He said, brushing his brother as he entered. 

They passed through the kitchen, the living room and Logan’s parents’s room. 

If Remus noticed how Roman purposely ignored Logan’s room, he didn’t dare to mention it.

Remus looked at the old piano. It was closed. Logan hated it when people closed his piano.

Without thinking twice, he opens the lid and brushed his fingers against the keys.

He jumped away, falling to the ground, when the piano played on its own.

He heard Roman approaching. 

“Remus, stop playing the piano, we have to–” He stopped, staring at Remus in the ground. He blinked twice before looking at the piano, that kept playing.

Then he fainted.

Remus felt like screaming. Instead, he crawled to his side, trying to ignore the piano as it kept playing. He poked his brother in the face. 

“Please don’t be dead.” He said, barely above a whisper. “Roman, please, don’t be dead.”

The piano music stopped. Remus felt a breeze pass through, sending shivers through his body. 

Then Roman opened his eyes, and stared at the ceiling. 

“Remus, what the fuck?” He said, sitting up. He rubbed the back of his head, feeling a numb headache coming.

“Ah, thanks, I thought you just died.” Remus said, trying to smile. 

“What has just happened?” He asked, getting up.

Remus looked at the piano and then at Roman. 

“Bold of you to assume I have any idea.” He said. “The piano is automatic, or something.”

A chord interrupted him.

“Never mind, it’s haunted.” Remus said, smiling nervously. “Let’s fucking leave.”

“Wait.” Roman said. He approached the piano. “Ok, eh… can you hear us?”

“What are you doing?” Remus said. “It’s a piano it can’t respond you, let’s just fucking lea–”

A single note interrupted him. A ti. 

“Ok, B. What does a B mean?” Roman said.

“Why are you asking questions to a piano?!” Remus said. He was starting to lose his composure. “Roman, please let’s just go home, I’m seriously freaking out.”

“B meant ti, right?” Roman said, ignoring his brother’s panic. “In like, the British English?”

“Yes, Roman, B means ti or si.” Remus said. “Congratulations, you remember music lessons, can we now go away?”

“Si. Sí. Yes. He’s saying yes.” Roman said. The piano played a few other tis, as if it wanted to confirm it. 

Remus ran his hands through his hair. “It’s a piano! Not a person!” He said, voice filled with desperation. “Please, Roman, I really need to leave.”

“You leave.” Roman said. “I’m going to…” He sighted, looking at the piano. “I’m going to talk to Logan.”

“You what?” Remus exclaimed. “Are you out of your mind? That’s not Logan!” He gestured to the piano like a maniac. “It’s a piano!”

“His piano.” Roman said. “He could be playing it.”

“He’s not. Logan’s dead, there’s no way.” Remus said. His voice cracked. “There’s no way. He’s dead.”

Roman looked down, guilt pooling in his stomach. He inhaled deeply before turning to the piano. “Are you Logan?” 

A ti note played again.

“Roman, quit it, it’s not funny” Remus pleaded.

“Ok, Do for no, ti for yes.” Roman continued, trying to ignore the tears that went down Remus’s face. “If you are Logan, did you like peaches?” 

A do. Logan hated peaches. 

“It’s not Logan, it’s just tricking us.” Remus said, drying his tears. “I’m leaving. Stay with the damn piano all you want.” 

“Wait.” Roman said, reaching out to grab Remus arm. “Please?”

Remus hesitated, before pulling his arm from Roman’s grip.

“You have one more question.” He said. “Choose wisely.”

Roman sighted. He turned to the piano again. “If you really are Logan, play Remus’s favourite song. You know the one.”

There was silence for a few seconds. Remus scoffed, turning away.

Then Pop goes the Weasel started playing. And Remus froze, not knowing what to do.

“Ok…” He said. “Ok, stop!” He snapped, and the melody stopped. 

“…Remus?” Roman asked, reaching out to him.

“We need a notebook.” Remus said. “I have an idea.”

Logan watched Remus and Roman leave his house. He stared at the half eaten orange that had been abandoned in the floor. Gross.

He stayed by the piano, playing soft tunes. He hadn’t meant to scare anyone, he just wanted to talk to his friends. He didn’t want to make Remus cry ever again.

He stopped playing when the main door opened again. How long had he been playing?

The Twins rushed into the living room. Remus was holding a stack of cut out post-it notes. Without hesitation, he started sticking them to the piano’s keys. 

Logan was almost mortified by such thing done to his beautiful piano, until he noticed the letters written on the notes. 

Remus was smart, he noted. 

In fact, he had also added a comma, a point, interrogation and exclamation points. And numbers.

Remus was very smart.

“Ok!” He said. “If you’re Logan, –I’m still not sure about that one– talk to us! Say anything, whatever you want!”

Logan eyed both twins. Roman held his notebook, waiting to write down whatever Logan played. He was shaking slightly. Logan couldn’t blame him.

He placed his hands on the piano and thought. What should he say?

An idea clicked on his mind and he started playing, slowly enough so Roman could write everything down.

“The birds work for the bourgeoisie.” Roman said. He stared at the piano. “Really? Out of all the things you can say?”

Logan didn’t even bother holding back his laughter. “It was the first thing Remus told me in history class.” He said, as he started playing the sequence of keys. 

Roman read the sentence out loud and looked at his brother. “How am I not surprised?”

“So it is him.” Remus said. 

‘Of course it’s me’ Logan played out. Roman read it out loud again.

“Should we call the others?” Roman asked. “I think we should tell them.” 

‘Dennis is real, btw. His name is Janus’ Logan played. 

Roman frowned. “Repeat that slower, I didn’t copy it right.”

Logan sighted, doing so. 

“What did he say?” Remus asked. “I got lost after the second n.” 

Roman stared at the sentence he had written. “Dennis is real. The fucker in Virgil’s house is real.” 

“I knew it!” Remus said, bouncing up and down. “I fucking knew it!”

“Ok, that’s it, Imma go call the others.” Roman said, handling the notebook to Remus. “You keep Logan company, I’ll try explain this without causing them to freak out.”

Logan watched as Roman left. Remus grabbed the notebook and sat on the piano stool. He passed right through Logan. It was a weird feeling.

“So… how is it being dead?” Remus asked.

Logan thought about what to answer for a few seconds. ‘Lonely’

“What about Dennis? Can’t he keep you company?” Remus said.

‘His name isn’t Dennis. And he wasn’t sociable.’ Logan played.

“Lol.” Remus said. Logan sighted. He hated when Remus said text slang out loud. “So… do you know how to get you back?”

Logan smiled fondly. He sighted, before playing. ‘There’s no way, Remus, I’m dead.’

Remus’s smile dropped. He stood from the stool. “Right” he muttered, getting away from the piano. “I’m going to check on Roman”

Having said that, he left.

Janus floated behind Virgil as he made his way to meet the twins. Janus liked the twins. They were funny. 

He frowned when they passed the twin’s house, walking straight towards Logan’s. 

Logan wouldn’t have been able of communicating with them, right?

If Janus hadn’t managed a single thing after fifty three years of trying, it was imposible for Logan to have communicated in just a few days.

They entered the house, and went straight into the living room. Janus ignored the twin’s explanations of what they were doing in Logan’s house and went to the living room.

Someone had filled the piano with stick notes.

He looked at Logan, who was standing there. With his hands over the piano keys.

“How the fuck did you manage that?” Janus asked. 

Logan shrugged. “I don’t know. How did I see you when you were a ghost?”

“I dunno, I didn’t do shit that time.” Janus said. “I was just waiting to see what the fuck you five had planned, and if it was worth it to watch.”

“We were planning on… well, vandalizing the park sounds a bit too crude, doesn’t it?” Logan said. “We just wanted to paint on the ground with chalk.” 

“Meh, probably worth it.” Janus said, shrugging. “Anyways, what did you do?”

“Oh, right!” Logan said, turning to the piano. “I managed to do this:”

He placed his hands on the keys again and started playing a soft melody. Janus heard Virgil and Patton curse, and yelp in surprise. 

Logan stopped. 

“How the fuck?” Janus said.

“Language” Logan reprimanded. “And I have as little idea as you.” 

“Logan?” Remus called. “You’re still there, right?”

Logan played a series of three notes. Janus noticed the papers sticked to them spelled ‘yes’. 

“I’m going to tell them about you.” Logan said. “It’s that alright?”

Janus thought it for a moment. “Yeah… It’s ok…” He could work this into his favour. He could actually make this work.

Logan started playing a series of notes. Janus got lost after the third note. He was never a fast reader.

“Yes. Janus is here as well.” Roman read out loud. “Who’s Janus? It sounds like a middle school librarian name.” 

“Another ghost?” Patton asked. “I thought ghosts weren’t real…” 

Virgil shrunk back into his hoodie, sitting on top of the couch. “If this is a sick prank, I’m murdering you two.” 

“It’s not!” Remus said. He grabbed Roman’s notebook and gave it to Virgil. “Copy the messages and watch for yourself.” He turned to the piano. “Look, Logan, can you tell us who Janus is?” 

Logan sighted and started playing again. 

After a few seconds, Virgil spoke, with a shaky voice. “The ghost that lives with Virgil. Dennis.” 

Everyone stared at Virgil for a few seconds. He looked moments away from fainting. 

“Holy fuck, I’ve been living with a ghost.” He said. Patton rubbed his arm, trying to calm him down. “For how long?”

“How long?” Logan asked. 

“Eh, I’ve been dead for fifty three years, so since always.” Janus said. 

Logan sighted. “How am I not surprised?” He said, as he started playing again.

“Fifty three years.” Virgil read. “Oh, god, he saw me as a stupid little kid.” He blushed, hiding his face with his hoodie. “God, why?”

“Tell them to get a fucking ouija. I’ve been waiting years for Virgil to get one, but the damn emo won’t do it.” Janus said.

“Virgil is too scared to do so. And so is Remus, no matter what he might say.” Logan said. “I’ll ask them for one.”

Virgil scribbled down Logan’s message. 

“He wants us to get an ouija.” He explained. 

“But we already got the piano.” Roman said. 

Logan played again. Janus didn’t even bother trying to decipher it. 

“He says Janus can’t use the piano.” Virgil said. “God, getting used to an actual ghost being in my house is going to take a while.”

“Yeah, I think getting used to all this is just… not going to be easy.” Patton said. “I think my cousin Remy has a ouija. I can go ask him to lend it to me, and we’ll meet here tomorrow?”

“That sounds like a good idea, padre.” Roman said. “At the same hour?”

“Yeah, sure, I don’t have anything to do on Sundays anyways. Except apparently talk to a ghost. Oh, god, he heard me sing” Virgil said.

“He sings well when he isn’t trying to hard to hit the high notes.” Janus commented. “Who are you going to follow?” 

“I’ll stick to Patton.” Logan said. “I want to see Remy. He’s a cool guy.” 

“Yeah, I know, I was with Virgil when y’all met him, remember?” Janus said.

“Right. I tend to forget you actually existed.” Logan said. He turned to the piano and played a message. 

Virgil groaned as he struggled to write everything down. 

“He says he’s gonna follow Patton. And he wishes us good luck.” He said. 

“Aw, thanks Logan!” Patton said. “It’s so nice to be able of talking to you!” 

“Ok, let’s get the fuck out of here, I can’t handle this shit more.” Remus said. “My heart is going to fucking explote.”

“You ok?” Roman asked.

“Ha. No.” Remus said. “Too much adrenaline for today. I’m going to go back to bed now.”

“You’ve been out of bed less than an hour today.” Roman said. “It’s not healthy.”

“Fuck healthy, I do what I want.” 

“Gays, don’t fight.” Patton said. “Let’s just go out now, I’ll call Remy when I get home.” 

“…fine.” Roman said. 

“See ya, Lobot” Janus said, following Virgil. He floated right through the door.

“How the fuck does he float?” Logan wondered to himself, walking behind Patton.

It took Virgil a lot not to panic when he was alone on his room again.

Dennis, or should Virgil call him Janus, was real. He had been watching him.

God, that was so messed up.

Virgil groaned, throwing himself to bed. 

“If you’re still there, fuck off.” He told the ghost. “I don’t want to live with a ghost.”

There was no response. Seconds later, Virgil’s pencil case fell to the ground, scattering its contents. 

“Jerk.” Muttered Virgil, getting up to pick it up.

He couldn’t help to smirk, though. There was finally an explanation to all the weird falling things in his house.

As fucked up as it was.

Remy had a ouija board. He hadn’t used it twice, after almost dying of a heart attack when Emile decided to prank him and his friends while they were playing. Shutting down the lights was not a pleasant experience for neither of them.

Remy knew about Patton’s friends. He had met a few. 

He knew about Logan’s accident.

And that’s why he didn’t think it was a good idea giving Patton the Ouija board.

“Remy, please, just for one night” Patton pleaded. “One night. And I’ll give it back.”

“This shit doesn’t work.” Remy said. “Patton, I know you’re hurt, but this is not way to cope.”

“I know.” Patton said. “But I need it. Just one night. Promise.”

Remy looked at his cousin, who was giving him the best puppy eyes performance Remy had ever seen. 

He sighted. “You promise not to tell our parents and to be careful?” 

“Yes!” Patton said. “I do!”

Remy looked at Patton. He shook his head as he went over to his closet, were he kept the ouija board, under dozens of other board games.

He blew the dust of it.

“Here.” Remy said. “Have fun. Ghosts aren’t real, and I don’t know what you’re attempting to do, but be careful.”

“Thank you!” Patton said, pulling the ouija board close to his chest. “Thank you thank you thank you!” 

Remy was left alone, watching as Patton left his house. He was lucky his parents weren’t there. They would’ve been more strict, yet Remy had always had a soft spot for Patton. 

He shivered when he heard a thank you. Patton was nowhere close. He was home alone.

“Ghosts aren’t real.” He said to himself, bracing himself and trying to believe his words. “Ghosts aren’t real.”

Remus drew the curtains closed, not for the ambient, but because he didn’t want anyone to see what they were about to do.

It was Sunday. Their parents had left for work, leaving the twins alone at home. 

Roman had called the others, asking them to come over. Remus started making space on the living room, moving the table away and getting enough pillows for everyone to sit down.

He contemplated getting a pillow for Logan. He was a ghost, ghost wouldn’t be able of sitting, right? He got a pillow nonetheless.

He sat down and waited for the others to arrive. 

Roman entered the room, followed by the others. Patton had a cardboard box under his arm. 

“Ya got it?” Remus asked.

Patton nodded, sitting down in between the twins. “I had to disguise it so my parents didn’t notice.” He explained, taking the ouija board out and setting it on the middle of the ground.

“You’re sure about this?” Virgil said, fidgeting with the ends of his hoodie. “It always ends poorly in movies.”

“We’re not a movie.” Roman said. “And it’s Logan, Logan wouldn’t hurt us.”

“Janus could try…” Virgil said. “I mean, he’s been living with me and hasn’t tried anything, but still…”

Patton placed the wooden triangle on top of the board. “How does one use a ouija board?”

“Oh, it’s easy” Remus said. “We ask questions, put one hand each on the triangular thingie and wait for an answer.” 

“Oh, ok, Logan?” Patton said, looking at the empty pillow in front of him. “Are you there?”

“You forgot about the hands on tri–” Roman started saying, only to be left speechless when the triangle moved on it’s own. 

It slid through the board, towards the ‘yes’.

Everyone stared at it for a few seconds. 

“Ok, is Janus here as well?” Virgil asked, biting his lip.

The triangule raised on the air and fell to the ‘yes’ once more.

“Do any of you two want to hurt us?” Remus asked. “Whether it’s killing us, torturing us physically or psychologically, mutilating us, sewing our li–”

“Remus, please don’t give them any ideas.” Roman said, interrupting him.

The triangle moved to the ‘no’. Then it continued moving.

Roman struggled to scribble down the message. 

“I’m not letting you get hurt.” He read aloud. 

“Aw, thanks,”–Patton said, bouncing on his pillow–“but if Janus turns out to be an evil poltergeist, you won’t stand a chance.”

The triangle moved again. “Rude.” Roman read. 

Remus laughed. Virgil hid a laughter as a cough. Patton pouted.

“I’m not rude!” He said, childishly crossing his arms. 

The triangle moved to the ‘yes’ space. Patton pouted even more, before breaking into laughter.

“I wanna say something too.” Janus said, trying to grab the wooden triangle. Logan pushed him away.

“Wait for your turn.” He said, answering another dumb question from his friends.

Janus tried to grab the triangle again. “You’ve been at it for long enough, my turn.”

He grabbed the wood piece, snatching it from Logan’s hands.

“Hey!” Logan exclaimed, trying to get it back. 

Janus held it away. “It’s my turn, fuck off!”

“They’re my friends, fuck off!” Logan said, grabbing the triangle and pulling. Janus didn’t let go of it.

“I’ve been dead longer, fuck off!” Janus said, trying desperately not to let go of the triangle.

“Well I’m dead because of you!” Logan yelled, pushing Janus away.

Janus fell through Roman, who couldn’t help a shiver. He turned in the air as if failing with no gravity. 

Logan dropped the triangle, his hands flying to his mouth.

Janus straightened himself, standing up as if he was alive.

“Janus, I’m so sorry.” Logan said. “I didn’t–”

“I’ll be going now.” Janus said, bitterness dripping into his voice. “Have fun with your friends.”

“Logan?” Remus called, gaining his attention. “Is everything alright?”

Logan sighted, grabbing the triangle. He kneeled next to the board and placed it on the ‘yes’. 

‘Janus wanted control over the board. We argued. He left.’

He waited as Roman read aloud the sentence. 

“I have an idea.” Virgil said. “It might be stupid.” 

‘Go ahead’

Roman read it aloud once more. Virgil nodded, shifting on his pillow. He reached out and grabbed the triangle. He raised it to his face, peering over the hole.

Logan scoffed. “Like that’s gonna work…” He muttered to himself.

Virgil drew in a shaky breath, his hands shaking. “It does, though.” He said.

#sanders sides #fanfic #ghosts #pianos playing by themselves #ouija #car accident #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #Janus Sanders #Remy sleep

[nessiansimp]

Halloween Party Nessian fic

Nesta hated Halloween.

Firstly, because it was the most pointless holiday to ever grace a calendar. She simply couldn't understand why people willingly chose to dress up in some outlandish costume while stuffing themselves with candy and other overpriced sweets. Second, because she had to spend the entire night in said ridiculously uncomfortable costumes, glaring down anyone who looked at her for too long.

But mostly because every year, her sisters dragged her to the stupid Halloween party their friend Mor was hosting.

Which happened to be exactly where she was at the moment. At the huge house Mor had rented out for the evening, which was filled with loud music and dancing and laughing, and people partying like it was there last day on Earth. There were at least several hundred people there, and she found herself wondering again and again how her sister's friend even knew that many people to invite. She didn't think she'd met more than a few dozen people in her life.

The one thing that made the horrific ordeal slightly more bearable was seeing Cassian. She usually didn't get to see much of him during the year because of both of their busy work schedules. The holidays were one of the few times she saw him, and she was glad to have those few moments with him, despite the horrible music and the drunk partygoers that crowded around them.

She shifted uncomfortably in her witch costume, a short black dress and a pointy hat which she'd reused from last year's event, as she scanned the crowd for Amren. Her sister Feyre had ditched her to find her boyfriend Rhys, and Elain had gone off with Azriel to play some party game.

Which left her alone. In a sea of people she didn't know and had no interest in meeting.

A deep voice rumbled behind her. "Hi, sweetheart."

She whirled around to find Cassian grinning at her. He was dressed in the most absurd costume she'd seen yet. A pale gray jacket with orange pompoms down the center. Puffed up sleeves and white feathers glued to every inch of the shirt collar. He wore matching gray gloves and a fiery orange wig, the color of which suited the pompoms perfectly. The white and red face paint he'd been wearing had mostly faded off, leaving nothing but brown skin in its wake. Although his nose was still painted a vivid red.

"Hello, Cassian," she drawled.

He slung an arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the bar, the only place in the party where she could actually enjoy herself. They sat down on the stools and Cassian ordered drinks for them.

He swiveled in his chair and turned to face her, his gaze raking over her simple costume. It wasn't a particularly creative choice of clothing, but she didn't want to waste the money or the energy on an outfit she would wear only once a year.

"Nice costume," he said. The bartender came back and handed them their drinks, and he swished the liquid in his cup around once, before downing its contents in one long gulp. He cracked a fiendish smile in her direction. "It's super creative. And look at that, it suits your personality."

A small smile tugged at her lips. "At least I didn't dress up as chicken."

He motioned to the bartender for another drink, who nodded and grinned at him like they knew each other. She didn't doubt he knew at least half the people at the party. Cassian was that type of person. Funny and easygoing. Not to mention incredibly attractive. Of course she'd never tell him that.

His attention turned back to her and his lips curled upward. Cassian's eyes alighted with the challenge in her words, sensing the start of another argument. The bartender came back with his second drink and slid it over to him on the counter.

He picked up his drink, watching as she took a sip of hers. "I'm not a chicken," he retorted. "I'm a clown."

"Did you mean that literally or figuratively?"

"Both."

She clamped her lips together, trying not to let any of her amusement show. She'd really missed their arguments.

"Are you sure you're not a chicken?" She gestured to his collar. "What's with the feathers?"

He scratched his head. "Yeah, I didn't have the right fabric so I had to improvise." He straightened. "I think I'm pretty recognizable anyway. I mean, I'm not just any clown."

She stared at him over the rim of her cup. "What do you mean?"

He motioned to the wig and the face paint, then the clothes before he sighed and said "I'm Pennywise."

She raised a brow. "Am I supposed to know what that is?"

He gasped mockingly. "You've never watched 'It'?"

"No. Why would I watch a horror movie on purpose?"

He rolled his eyes. "Because it's fun to get scared."

"Well, if you're trying to frighten someone, the only people you're scaring off are poultry farmers."

He barked a laugh. "Well, if I knew you were coming, I would have suggested we picked out couple costumes instead. We could've gone as ghost or vampires, if that's more up your alley."

She snorted. "Yeah, except for the fact that we're not a couple."

"Who says we can't be one?"

She rolled her eyes and looked away to hide the blush creeping up her face. She tried to search for Amren again, but she still couldn't see her anywhere in the large crowd and she couldn't find anyone else she recognized either. She'd probably be stuck with Cassian for the rest of the night.

The man in question grabbed her hand suddenly and started dragging her towards the dance floor. "Come on," he said.

She groaned. "No way. I hate dancing."

"Too bad," he sang.

They stopped right under the disco ball swinging from the ceiling and Cassian's hands came to rest on her hips, swaying them both gently with the music. The loud music pulsed from speakers overhead and neon lights flashed different colors. Her boot heels clacked on the floor as people swarmed around them in the crowded room, shoving her and Cassian closer to each other until there was barely any distance between them at all.

Someone pushed her from behind suddenly and she stumbled forward, crashing into him. His arms came around her, warm and steady. He held onto her until she regained her balance, then his hands found her waist again.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes, until at one point he took her hand and pulled her into a dark hallway far away from the dancing and music and people. She stumbled back against the wall as he braced his hands on either side of her, completely trapping her there. His warm breath fanned over her face as he inched closer until they were practically nose to nose. His dark hair slid over his brow, his hazel eyes burning like molten flames.

She crossed her arms and raised her chin defiantly. "I thought you wanted to dance."

"I changed my mind."

He leaned forward suddenly and seized her mouth in his. It was anything but gentle, the movement fueled by desire and need, as well as the heavy amount of alcohol they'd both consumed earlier. Her lips parted as his tongue slid over the roof of her mouth, his calluses brushing her arm as he held her against the wall. She fisted the front of his shirt in one hand to pull him closer, although there wasn't any distance left between them at all. His body was warm and hard against hers, and she moaned a little in spite of herself as he slid a hand under her dress and started rubbing circles on her thigh.

She pulled back and grinned up at him. He grinned back, panting and breathless.

She smirked. "I think I'm going to need another drink."

He laughed as she took his hand and starting dragging him back to the bar, when Amren tackled them out of nowhere. Her friend was wearing a black dress, her outfit similar to her own, except Amren's lips were painted a deep red with fake blood trickling off her chin and fake fangs in her mouth.

"There you are," she huffed. "We've been looking everywhere for you."

Amren's eyes flicked briefly over Nesta's costume, then Cassian's, wrinkling her nose slightly as she took in the feathers and the vibrant pompoms.

Cassian smirked at her expression. "What's your costume, Amren? Tiny bloodsucking elf?"

Amren rolled her eyes. "I'm a vampire, you dolt. What are you supposed to be, a chicken?"

Nesta nudged Cassian in the side. "See? I told you."

"Idiots," he muttered.

Nesta slid her hand into his and pecked Cassian on the cheek, who grinned at her devilishly, before following Amren through the crowd and dragging Cassian along with her.

After nearly losing Amren three times, they finally made it to the table where Elain, Mor, and Azriel were waiting for them. Mor was wearing a red devil costume with horns poking out of her golden hair, and Elain was clothed in a flowing gown, a sparkling tiara placed on her head.

Azriel was wearing what he usually wore, a black jacket with matching black pants, except for the white face paint drawn in lazy lines, like he hadn't bothered to put any effort in. She assumed he was supposed to be a skeleton, although his outfit did the bare minimum. She really wished she'd thought of that. The skintight dress she was wearing had already started to become unbearably uncomfortable.

She sat down across from them and Cassian plopped down next to her, one hand on his drink, the other on her bare knee. Nesta was just about to ask where her other sister was, the whole reason she was in this mess in the first place, when Feyre strutted over to them with Rhys on her arm.

Her sister twirled around in her angel costume once before sitting down next to Rhys. "Do you guys like my outfit?"

Rhys wiggled his eyebrows. "Yeah, but it'd look better on my bedroom flo-"

Amren gagged.

"Oh please, not this again," Mor groaned, then turned to Nesta and said "They've been acting like this ever since we got here."

Feyre laughed and popped a candy into her mouth from the candy bowl in front of her. "Ok, we'll stop. I promise."

Amren snorted. "I give them 5 minutes before they're at it again."

"2 minutes," Mor countered.

"30 seconds," Cassian said.

Rhys rolled his eyes. "You know we can hear you, right?"

Mor stood up suddenly and clasped her hands. "You know what? Let's do something fun. Like truth or dare!"

"I'll go first." This from Amren, a cruel smile dancing on her blood red lips, in a way that made Nesta feel terribly sorry for whoever was going to be subject to her demands.

Amren turned to Feyre. "Truth or dare?"

Feyre contemplated for a bit, before answering "Dare."

"I dare you to eat every single piece of candy in the bowl in front of you."

"What? No!" Feyre protested.

Amren was uncompromising. "You said you wanted a dare."

"A dare within reason-"

Feyre continued to argue with Amren and Nesta's attention started to wander, already bored with the conversation. Cassian gave her a sidelong glance and the hand on her thigh started drifting higher.

Eventually Amren gave up and slumped back in her seat. Mor took the opportunity to cut in. "My turn," she chirped. "Az, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"When was the first time you..."

The rest of the conversation became a blur as his fingers started working their way up her inner thigh, drawing idle lines and circles on her skin. His touch was warm against her freezing skin, courtesy of the Velaris weather.

Somewhere in the background, their friends were laughing themselves hoarse over whatever Az had dared Rhys to do, but Nesta couldn't hear anything over the roaring in her ears as Cassian hand trailed her legs and slipped under the lace of underclothes, his fingers just shy of her folds.

Two fingers curved in on the soft skin at the apex of her thighs, applying just enough pressure to make her cough to suppress a moan. No one payed her any attention, their focus solely on the game. She slid her gaze to Cassian, who kept his face neutrally blank as he casually participated in the conversation, laughing at the appropriate times.

Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers encircled her core teasingly, so dangerously close to where she wanted him. Every thought in her brain narrowed to the two fingers under her dress, just inches away from-

"Nesta?"

She snapped her head up. Everyone was gaping at them from across the table. Cassian smirked and slowly withdrew his fingers from under her dress.

"Um." She felt the heat rush to her cheeks. "Did you ask me something?"

Feyre's eyes darted between her and Cassian, before widening slightly and saying "I just asked if you were going to choose truth or dare."

She cleared her throat, trying very hard not to look at Cassian and the taunting expression on his face. "Dare."

Feyre's lips curled into a wicked smile and Nesta shuddered. "I dare you to kiss Cassian."

Cassian mirrored Feyre's expression as he studied Nesta. She shook her head. "Never mind, I'm going with truth."

Feyre's smile didn't falter. "Do you want to kiss Cassian?"

Nesta stood up from her chair and brushed herself off. She made a mental note to push Feyre into the Sidra later. "I should probably head home. It's getting late."

Cassian stood up with her and tucked his chair in. "I'll walk you there."

Amren's eyebrows shot up to her forehead. She gave Nesta a knowing look, which she ignored. Feyre still wore that delighted grin on her face as she kissed her cheek and waved them off. They said goodbye to everyone, then stepped outside into the autumn weather.

As soon as they were outside the party, away from all the loud music and flashing lights, she whirled on Cassian.

"What the hell was that?" she hissed.

A wry smile. "Oh please, you liked it."  

She had enjoyed it. A little. But she wasn't about to tell him that.

He offered her his arm, which she ignored, and started walking ahead of him. He grinned and rushed after her, leaves cracking under both of their feet. They passed a group of kids trick-or-treating who gave them weird looks on their way to her apartment, probably because Cassian was still wearing that ridiculous outfit of his. They walked a few more minutes in silence, before she turned to Cassian again, who was rubbing his hands together franticly.            

"If you're trying to summon an evil spirit," she said, "I don't think that's how it works."

He grunted. "My hands are cold. I think I lost my gloves somewhere."

"Then just buy new gloves."

He rolled his eyes. "Gee, Nesta, that's a brilliant idea. I hadn't even thought of that."

He continued rubbing his hands together and she almost laughed at the site of him.

"It's not even that cold. No one else is wearing gloves," she pointed out.

"Well, I'm sorry for not being immune to cold weather."

She grasped his hand in one of hers. "There. Now shut up."

His eyes widened at first, but then a slow grin spread on his face. "You know, I think my lips are getting cold too-"

"Screw you," she muttered and yanked him forward. He stumbled after her, gripping her hand like a lifeline. They walked a bit longer, silence settling over them again, until they reached her apartment on the banks of the Sidra.

He leaned casually against her door as she slid fumbled with her keys. "Admit it. You had fun tonight."

She slid her keys into the lock and cracked the door open. "Debatable."

"Wasn't that so much better than staying at home alone and reading some cheesy romance novel?"

He stepped in front of her to block her path, and when she couldn't sidestep him, she asked "Which part? The part where we made out or the part where we got drunk?"

A snort. "We weren't even that drunk. We just had a couple of drinks."

"I must've been drunk if I actually kissed you."

He growled. "You could've just answered the damn question, Nesta."  

She laughed, and he looked as surprised as she was to hear the sound come from her. His face broke into a smile again.

She stepped closer to him, toying with those ridiculous pompoms on his jacket that had somehow managed to stay glued on the entire night. "I had a great time. Best Halloween of my life," she added. "Happy now?"

He smirked. "Not yet."

He leaned forward and pressed a featherlight kiss to her lips then pulled back so quickly she barely had time to register that what had happened.

A smiled danced on his lips. "I can't wait to see what we're going to dress up as for next Halloween."

"As long as you don't dress up in this ridiculous costume again."

He grinned as she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him inside, kicking the door shut behind her.

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #nessian #feysand

[peachfyzzy]

doppio x reader x diavolo house call

heres some good food for u pink haired fuckers!

nsfw under the cut!

cw: fucking, rough sex, diavolo being a whore

a03 link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/21025433

“Signore, you’re so tense.” You peered into the timid eyes of the man below you with overflowing, unabashed confidence. It was a normal day at work- seducing and enticing a handfull of men into paying for a few hours of your time and then running away with their rent money secure in your coat pocket. You loved your job, truly. However, you found something about your newest client to be...funny. His words were laced with anxiety and his eyes could barely scan your body without quickly moving up back to your face, almost as if he wasn’t supposed to look at you there. He shivered at the smallest touch, which certainly didn’t work in his favor considering the position you were in. Your legs hung off of the back of the expensive, vintage chair and your ass fit snugly into the smaller man’s lap. Your hands laid on his shoulders firmly in a half effort to massage and quell his anxiety. You wondered how he even got up the courage to call your boss and organize a meeting with a stripper. Normally, the men you met were hounds. Ready to take you and completely disregarding any conversation you might’ve wanted to have with them.

Of course, you didn’t mind this. They weren’t particularly interesting nor were they attractive. You fell into a routine this way, so having it disrupted so oddly piqued your interest. Gently, you began running your hands through his bright pink hair. He bit his lip in response, gulping and looking up at you as if you could break him. “Tell me, Signore...Could this be your first time?” 

“W-With a s-stripper or i-in general?” His voice was sweet and melodic, and honestly almost made you feel bad for being such a tease. You shrugged. “T-This is my first time with a stripper. W-Well...o-our…” Our. You quirked an eyebrow for a second, confused at the man’s words before the memory of your paycheck came crashing back. Your boss had told you that he paid for two people, but you completely forgot once he showed up himself; all nerves and stuttering. 

“Our, huh?” You scanned the emptiness of his room as you left lovebites along the line of his neck. “When will your little friend make an appearance?” The timid man yelped in response, reflexively grabbing your hips and squirming under you a bit. God, he was cute. 

“Y-You’ll know...I told him not to be too...startling, so p-please watch out for him.” Once again, you were left confused by the man and his friend. Still, you continued your ministrations without a second thought. Your clients had ranged from as vanilla as extract to as kinky as 4A hair. So, you tried to take this as a learning experience. With every kiss to the neck, a small groan or whine was given. He certainly was endearing to have around. After a few minutes of teasing and sucking, you got on your knees to continue your journey down his body. “You can call me Doppio, by the way. If you’d like…My friend’s name is Diavolo, for when you see him.” 

Your heart grew a few sizes bigger at his attitude. He treated you almost like a lover, and you found yourself hoping he’d show up again...if only to say hi. 

“Well, Doppio...Hold still for me, okay?” You reached for the hem of his sweater and pulled it off in one motion, revealing a toned and cute abdomen. Your heart fluttered, and your cold hands ran their way up his hot body. His nipples perked against your fingertips. When you reached for the hem of his pants, a beeping resounded through the room. 

“Oh! He’ll be here soon.” Doppio sprung to his feet in newfound confidence. He dug through one of his pockets for something and pulled out a hot pink ribbon, the same color as his hair. “Could you put this on for me? He likes things like this.” You nodded and kicked off your heels, leaning forward a bit to let him tie the ribbon around your eyes. “Now turn, alright?” His voice carried like a kid setting up a game of hide and seek.

You complied with a little giggle and heard the door behind you swing open and then shut. No longer than a minute passed before you heard the same swing and then shut. With the tug of a smile on your lips, you turned around and placed your hands at the back of your head to undo the blindfold. “Doppio-” 

“Don’t you dare take off that fucking blindfold.” You jumped, quickly placing your hands at your sides. The man’s voice was enough to make a chill run up your spine. For the first time, you didn’t just feel naked in front of a client...you felt exposed. 

“A-Are you Doppio’s friend?” You took Doppio’s place in being the stuttering, anxious mess. 

“Yes, cara mia. A very dear friend.” His voice was naturally demanding, even when using the sweetest pet names. You heard the figure take a few steps towards you. His hands found their way around your head and his fingers delicately undid the knot. When the blindfold began to fold, he spoke. “You may call me Signore. ” He got closer to your ear, his hot breath tickling your lobe. “If you speak to anyone about this encounter, I will not hesitate to murder you. Do you understand, troia?” Your clients could be violent. Rough. Mean. But you always considered it to be apart of the fantasy. 

This time, you knew the words to be true. 

“Okay, Diavolo.” Your words weren’t met with the approval you were expecting. Instead, a firm slap was placed upon your cheek. You recoiled, holding the red cheek. 

“My sweet Doppio told you my name, did he? I’m the one here. You may call me Signore.” You gulped and moved your hand, biting your bottom lip. 

“Yes, Signore.” Your Signore moved quickly. Before you knew it, you were pressed against a wall by your throat. His fingers tightened around the side of your neck. Pleasure washed over your being as your blood for restricted. 

“Tell me, puttana. Did that slap turn you on? Do you enjoy it when men treat your whore body as I have?” You nodded as you bucked into the air in front of you. “My poor, sweet Doppio...I don’t think he could’ve handled someone as filthy as you.” 

His insults only fueled the lustful burning in your stomach. “On your knees.” Diavolo threw you to the ground via your neck, and you quickly got onto your knees. You wondered how such a sweet and mild guy got along with this beast of a man; all aggression and boldness. His pants came down and his cock sprang to attention in front of you. It was thicker than what you imagined Doppio to have. Veiny and long. Your inched closer to him, but before your lips could even touch the tip of his cock, his hand came down on your head and pushed you away. “You will beg to suck my cock.”

“Signore, c-can I please-” Another open palmed slap was dealt to the soft flesh of your face. 

“You’re a whore for a living. I know you can beg better than that. Do it or you won’t get anything tonight.” With humiliation bubbling inside of you, you inched closer and ignored the pain of the hardwood against your bare knees. You pawed at his thighs with a whimper. 

“Signore, may I suck your cock? Please let me taste you. I need it. I want it. Please, Signore...I’d do anything.” You had to admit, you were genuinely attracted to the man in front of you. Diavolo weaved a hand through your hair and pushed your forward onto his cock.

You supposed you should’ve been more careful about what you wished for. Now, you were getting your fill of his cock. It buried itself deep within your throat. The lewd noises erupting from your throat only seemed to encourage his cruel actions. You tried your hardest to fall into rhythm with his movements, but soon realized he was purposefully changing his pace to hear you choke and sputter. You couldn’t help yourself. Slowly, your hand made its way to the bundle of nerves crowning your pussy. Diavolo snickered at your actions. “Is this why you’re so popular? Even threatening you didn’t dampen your spirit.” Diavolo pulled you away from his cock quickly, leaving a trail of saliva from the tip to your mouth. He looked down at you with lustful, dark eyes. Your mouth was still agape. “You don’t look messy enough.” Your Signore pulled you up more and grabbed your chin, opening your mouth as far as it could go before spitting on your tongue and forcing your mouth back onto the base of his dick. 

You moaned loudly on his cock, surprising him a bit as the sudden vibration on the sensitive tip of his dick. You could tell the man was beyond pent up. From what you could pick up on his outfit, he was a busy man. Quicker than he would’ve liked, he began reaching his end. 

Taking your head in his hands he began fucking your face like you didn’t have a gag reflex; breath was useless. You almost swore he wanted you to pass out on his dick until he pulled back to give you a little respite. He pushed you back and began pumping himself roughly. He hissed out his final words. “Masochistic...bitch!” He came with a loud grunt over your stomach and pubic mound. You were already breathless, and he hadn’t even had the chance to fuck you yet. For a moment, silence was shared between you two. You got sucked into his emerald eyes and prayed this wouldn’t be the last time him and his friend visited. After this moment, he broke the silence. “Get on your back. Don’t get on the bed. I want you right on the floor.” 

You compiled as quickly as possible, spreading your legs and letting out a debauched moan as he slid his cock around the wetness of your lips. You could tell he was already sensitive from his previous cumming, so he pushed in without much teasing.

The warm feeling of being filled developed you fully. You didn’t have much time to enjoy it, of course, because he was thrusting in and out of you at a relentless pace before you could savor it. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck in an attempt to keep yourself from astral projecting out of your body. “S-Signore! I’m gonna cum! God, fuck!” Your mind went elsewhere as he jackhammered into your pussy. He knitted his hand into your hair and roughly pulled it forward, causing you to screech. 

“You will ask. Might I remind you who this is for?” He stopped his thrusting abruptly. Diavolo looked down at your pussy, a part of your body he had already claimed. 

“Y-You! God, just please...please keep thrusting! I need it!” 

“Who’s pleasure was this designed for?”

“Yours! God, Signore, please! Fuck me until I can’t move!” 

Finally, you sated him. He began to move once again, his cock hitting the beginnings of your cervix so perfectly… “Cum, troia. I can see it in your face. Cum for your Signore.” 

You compiled without a second thought, watching your body show it’s affection for the man slamming out in front of you. Your finish coated the floor below you and everything between you and Diavolo. If you weren’t so lost in the pleasure of your orgasm, you would’ve been embarrassed. Diavolo finished once again with one final jut of the hip. “S-Signore…” Your voice was broken, and your mind was dripping with thoughts of the man on top of you. 

“Such a good bitch for me and my Doppio.” His voice was gentler now. If only a bit. “Expect our call.” 

#doppio #diavolo #jjba #vento aureo #peachie writes

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Urchin

Summary: Lift a few bags or starve? For Sam that’s an easy choice to make. Though, sometimes easy choices can change the course of your whole life.  

Warnings: Some gross smell stuff. Nothing too wild. 

A/N: I feel bad that I haven’t had a fic update in a minute but I thought I’d share that the reason is because I’m focusing more on my own content. Def. not leaving fic just what little creative energy I have is going mainly to things not fic related (still getting bits and pieces in here and there though). 

To try and make up for it I thought I’d share some with y’all. This was an exercise that’s turned into a possible prologue for a story I’ve been sitting on for a long time now. I hope y’all like it and would love any feedback you want to share. [Also, I don’t expect any feedback at all since I know y’all are here mainly for fic and not original works.]

Love you pumpkins! 

Lungs burning with effort, feet flying over the steaming concrete, Sam runs faster than she has in her short life. Funny enough, the gnawing beast of hunger that drove her to this place has faded to a low hum, leaving only adrenaline behind.

A giddy laugh trips across her lips as she barely dodges a cluster of tourists. Maybe she was delirious - the situation at hand was dire at best, far from funny, yet still, she laughs. Honestly, she hadn’t felt this good in a long time. 

Gripping a lamp post to keep her worn sneakers from skidding out on the wet pavement she takes a hard left. Her haul, slung over her shoulders and stuffed into the pockets of her ratty cargo shorts, jostles with each stride. The weight of the designer bags and wallets feel like a full belly and maybe even a shower. They feel like some kind of freedom. 

“Get back here you little shit!” A man with a strong Long Island accent screams from somewhere behind her. Well, they would feel like freedom once she shook these assholes. 

Shouldda’ paid more attention, Sammy, she scolds herself silently. Had she seen the PD patrolling the venue she would have picked a different mark… Maybe. 

A row of Peking Duck in a window makes the hunger override everything for just a second. All of Chinatown’s intoxicating scents suddenly plotting to distract her. Before she can be too mesmerized, a far from appetizing smell brings her back to her current predicament. 

The seafood on the sidewalk vendor’s tables looks fresh enough. Down the alley next to him though, something else entirely was happening. 

Sam hears the telltale shuffle of the crowd and immediately sprints into the stench thinking to cut down the alley and behind the buildings, hoping the smell would lead the officers to keep running. 

“Fuck,” she chokes out, slamming into a near palpable wall of stench. Panic bubbles to the surface along with whatever her empty stomach could spare. There wasn’t time for any of that. 

Covering her mouth, forcing the bile back down, she tries to think. This alley was blocked off, if she headed back onto the street she was almost certainly going to get caught - that was simply not an option. 

Looming like a great beast is the source of the smell coating the insides of her nose. It’s a large dumpster, mystery ooze seeping from one corner like blood. Steeling herself, Sam opens the lid. 

Certainly, the waste inside had once had more form than what was there now. Unfortunately, the August heat and afternoon rain had worked a kind of dark alchemy transmuting it into the stuff of nightmares. 

Shouts from far too close seal her fate. With a breath of far-from-fresh air, Sam pulls the neck of her t-shirt over her nose hurling herself into the deepest part of the dumpster’s maw. 

Back pressed into a corner, eyes watering from the heat and overwhelming stink, she listens. 

“Jesus fucking christ!” A man audibly gags. “Ain’t no way she’s down here, Hardy.” 

“Did you see her out there?” Hardy asks, his Long Island accent making him sound all the more put upon. “Cuz I didn’t,” he lets out a breath. “Nowhere else for her to be.”

“Alright, you look. I-” Another gag cuts him off. “Nah. I’m done.”

“The hell you are, Jackson!” 

“You wanna find her so bad you go down there and look!” 

“I don’t wanna have to tell the Sergeant-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jackson grumbles. His steps are muffled but clear enough to make Sam’s heart jump. 

After a minute he huffs, “Nothin’. Just like I said. No one but us is stupid enough to come down here.” Silence hangs. 

“What about there?” Hardy asks. 

“What about- you’re joking right?”

“We need to thoroughly search-” 

“Thoroughly search… Man have you lost your mind?! No way in hell. No. Report me I don’t give a damn.” Jackson’s voice seems to fade as he speaks, clearly heading away from the dumpster. 

“Goddamn kid,” Sam barely hears Hardy say, fairly certain he’s not talking about her. “Nobody said this was supposed to be an easy beat,” his voice closer and closer. 

“If you’re scared of a little garbage,” he pauses to take a shaky breath in front of the dumpster, the smell clearly getting to him. If Sam hadn’t already been holding her breath she would have started. “You should probably go get some suburban gig.”

“You keep stalling old man. Open that beast if you’re so hard,” Jackson taunts from the mouth of the alley.

With a huff, Hardy opens the opposite side of the dumpster. “See it’s-” 

Even though Sam can’t see the man from her position she can feel the moment the stench hits him. With a clatter, the lid falls back in place followed by the clear sound of someone violently hurling. She fights to hold in a laugh. Jackson, however, lets loose. 

He whoops, “Oh, I’m gonna be smelling that shit for a week but it’s so worth it!” 

“Fuck you,” Hardy grunts between retching.

“You find your perp?”

“Fuck,” he gulps in air, “you.” 

Hardy’s boots fade away, “Like, you said, ain’t no one there. Let’s get the fuck outta here.” 

Sam doesn’t move for as long as she can stand it, wanting to be sure they’ve given up their pursuit. Finally, she slithers out of the abyss.

When her eyes spot the place Hardy lost his lunch she can’t hold in the laugh. Sure, she might smell like rotting fish for the rest of her life, but she wasn’t in cuffs and those assholes had to tell their boss they lost to a girl. 

Making her way through the city she feels like Moses, the sea of people parting around her. For once she doesn’t bother keeping her guard up, no one wanted to fuck with someone who looked and smelled like they crawled out of the bowels of the Hudson. 

Carefree, she calculates what she’ll need to do in order to make anything off the bags, hoping there was at least some cash in a few of them so she could eat. Not even the stink could chase away the ache of hunger now. 

Suddenly, Sam finds herself sprawled on the pavement. 

“Oh,” a woman with a foreign accent Sam can’t name speaks, “sorry about that.” Quickly Sam rights herself, looking back to the voice. 

The woman stands from the small sidewalk table she’d be at to pluck her umbrella from the ground. She’s not an overly pretty woman but the kind of person that’s desirable based on their presence alone. Also, with a chilling realization, Sam knows she’s seen her. The clutch in her left pocket suddenly seems very heavy. 

An almost mischievous smile curls the woman’s pale pink lips. “If you’d be so kind as to return my Channel to me I will happily buy you dinner.” She sits, waiting for Sam to respond. 

Maybe Sam was actually turning into a fish, her mouth opening and closing with nothing coming out. The chances of running into this same woman in a city of millions was… impossible. This was impossible. 

“It isn’t very easy to get the drop on me, you know. I can’t even be mad - even though, by the looks of you, that clutch will need to be burned.” With one patent leather pump, she pushes out the chair across from her. “Sit, girl.” It’s not until Sam is already in the chair that she bothers to wonder why she’d simply obeyed. 

Across from her, the woman grins, extending her hand. Sheepishly, she reaches into her pocket for the clutch, decidedly less filthy than the bags across her shoulders though still filmy with that unnamable goo. 

“Thank you,” the woman sets it on the edge of the table and Sam removes the rest of her haul from her shoulders, setting them under her chair. 

A waiter comes up, only barely glancing at Sam. 

“Ah, yes,” the woman beams at the man who appears utterly charmed. “I will take a glass of your best and coldest white and my friend here will have- Hmm,” she seems surprised by something. “I’m not sure. What would you like, darling?” 

“Uh,” what kind of drinks were there, she seems to have forgotten. “I guess a... Coke?” She finally responds after a painfully long pause.

“Excellent,” the waiter nods, disappearing inside. 

The woman studies Sam with unnerving intensity in absolute silence. With each passing moment, Sam inches closer to exploding. When the waiter arrives with their drinks she’s pretty sure she’s never been so happy to see someone. 

“Also, for you,” he holds out a plate with a warm damp cloth. 

“Oh, thanks…” Sam feels her cheeks heat under the grime. She wipes the cloth over her face, trying not to be horrified at the stain left behind. 

“What is your name?” The woman asks, taking a sip of wine, clearly savoring the taste. 

“Sam.” 

Her eyes narrow, “Not a Samantha, I think.”

“No,” she shakes her head. “Samara.” The sweet Coke chases away the taste of rotten fish for a glorious moment.

“Samara,” the woman echos, the syllables sounding much prettier on her tongue. “That’s a beautiful name.” She takes a pensive sip, “It means guardian, did you know that?” Sam shakes her head. 

“It’s good that you do now. Our names are powerful things, Samara. They hold secrets about what fate may bring our way.” 

Sam holds in a bitter laugh. If that was the case then fate had a sick sense of humor when it came to her. Once again the woman studies her in silence. 

“So…” Sam swallows hard, “What’s your name?”

The woman smiles slowly, “I told you names were powerful.” Sam nods. “You do not give away powerful things for free, my dear.” 

“Please,” the woman gestures to the menu before Sam, “pick whatever you’d like.” 

Half of the menu looks like it’s the type of food you finish in two bites and leave still hungry but gloriously, there is a burger. Sam orders that, with an extra patty and double the fries, her mouth watering so hard at the prospect that she has to fight to keep from drooling. 

“I can see only two explanations to our earlier exchange, Samara,” the woman pops a piece of bread in her mouth - Sam had already shoveled half the basked down her gullet. “Either, I’m getting old and rusty-” honestly, the woman could be anywhere from her mid-twenties to her 40’s, she certainly didn’t seem old- “or you are one hell of a little thief.” Sam fixes her eyes on the tablecloth. 

“You misunderstand me, Samara.” Sam looks back up at her. “I don’t mean that as an insult. Given that getting rusty is a very bad thing in my line of work, I’d much rather the latter be true than the former.” 

The waiter arrives, the prospect of food distracting Sam from the woman’s odd statement. Though she wants to maintain some form of decorum she can’t help but apply herself to the plate in earnest. It had been so long since she’d tasted anything half as good. To her credit, the woman doesn’t bat an eye. 

After Sam made it through half her plate she asks, “Are you alone in the world, child?” Her somber tone slows Sam’s pace. 

She feels she should be more afraid of this peculiar woman. After being on the street for a couple of years, it was impossible to not have heard the stories of girls being lured into trafficking rings or a pimp’s clutches by women who tried to gain their trust. Sam liked to think she was too smart for that. Only weak people fell for that kind of bullshit. And yet… 

“Yeah.” 

“It is a hard world for women. Even harder when we are alone.” Sam’s french fries almost get stuck on the lump of tension in her throat. “Yet you have clearly gained the skill you need to survive. That’s something to be proud of.” 

This time Sam can’t help but laugh, “Sure. Proud.” She shakes her head, “Lady, I’m covered in fish viscera because I had to hide from two incompetent cops in a dumpster today. I don’t think pride is the right word.” 

“You outsmarted two grown men,” the woman’s smile seems genuine. “Trained law officers - whatever that’s worth,” she raises a brow and Sam laughs once more. “You did what most wouldn’t have thought of or been willing to. On top of successfully pulling off a pretty impressive mark.” 

Was she honestly congratulating Sam on her delinquency? The absurdity of it all was too much suddenly and if she was being honest with herself, it was also unnerving. 

“What’s this all about, lady?”

The woman steeples her fingers before her, “I have a proposition for you.” She gives Sam a moment before continuing. “Someone with skill and a will such as yours is bursting with potential. I know people who can help you tap into that potential.” She opens the clutch and removes a card holding it across the table. Sam hesitates before accepting. 

A familiar lion in profile graces the front of the card beside text reading New York Public Library. Flipping the thick cardstock over Sam sees a name, number, and the address of the main branch. Nothing strange. 

“You inviting me to join your book club or something?”

“Something,” the woman’s smile is slow, knowing. She stands, picking up her bag. 

“Bring that card to the library anytime. Ask for, Rita.” She takes a few steps away before turning back. 

“I will not promise you that what you’ll find after will be easy. However, you’ll have a full belly and something more than just survival to strive for. I think sometimes, that is enough.” 

“Hold up!” Sam stands, sending the chair skittering across the concrete. 

“Good evening, Samara. Perhaps fate will allow us to meet again.” In moments the woman disappears down the street. 

Sam considers chasing her but instead collapses into the chair, staring at the business card until the waiter returns

“Here you are,” he sets the bill on the table. Given everything that just transpired, Sam expected to open the little black folder to find some hidden message, or instructions to meet a stranger under the bridge, honestly, anything but the check which was dangerously close to the triple-digit mark. 

That bitch, Sam thinks before a much more pressing issue pushes her anger to the side. As if he can sense the situation the waiter hadn’t stepped away from the table, instead, he stands expectantly for her to magically produce some method of payment. 

Given her appearance, the prospect of rifling through several bags until she produced said payment seemed like a sure way to make her earlier endeavors to maintain her freedom worthless. She smiles up at the man, hoping she looks like an innocent - though filthy - little urchin and not the subway rat she actually was. 

Taking a deep breath, Sam grips the side of the small bistro table farthest from the waiter. With one heft she sends it toppling into him. Ignoring the protests echoing down the street she bolts into the fading evening light, the bags from earlier forgotten in a tangle and the business card clutched tight in her hand. 

#original work #oc #fiction #short story #original short story