#I often feel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cherrysnax · 1 year

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there’s this weird loneliness I feel that’s kinda rotting me on the inside

#I have friends right #but like #I often feel #hm #mamified #n maybe it’s just cause I’m black and fat and a woman flavored lacroix #but I often feel like my job is to like #idk #words #nonblacks don’t act weird #but yeah #I guess im just. not built for close friends you know #I also think I’m used to being treated like shit (and treating others like shit I’m not innocent)#I’m more accepting to the idea that okay I’m being used #this isn’t like anyone’s fault I think I’m just way too guarded for my own hood #but like yknow expierences. and it’s not like this with everyone #I’m also just not prepared to have deeeeep connections with anyone right now #I don’t like talking to people until I does I like being alone mostly. I like talking in groups and not in 1-1s #I don’t like being bothered or talks that don’t make my brains go WHOOO #a lot of my friends… ok my main issue idk when I’m close enough to someone to call them my firmed #I got chevy and im raw dogging the rest of youse. well. I’m not but you get it #there’s also the fact that I have to be okah with annoying others/being annoyed by others and it being fine. BPD brain is like ‘if this #guy fees negative emotions about u once they want you dead’ and vice versa #and it’s noooot true #I’m very annoying and also very loved and I get annoyed by my loved ones all the time #it’s a love language. n I still love them :)#either way sometimes it feels like I’m drowning but I have to pull everyone to shore at the same time #and it’s no one’s fault i gotta learn to manage my emotions and learn how to assert boundaries #but also learn when boundaries are weird like that guy who was like ‘never ask ur friends to help u move’ like damn bro #heartbeat is slowing down to sleepy. probably was having a panic attack and it was making my pain worse

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 2 years

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Billboard just published an article about how some radio stations work with a middleman, known as an independent radio promoter, who controls what tracks received airplay and demands a toll to put a song into rotation.

I'm not sure what you expect me to say to this anon - except 'Yes, I've been alive long enough to know that this is how the US music industry works.' (And I do wish everyone would read the NPR article about how much a hit song costs, which may be dated, but at least gives a starting point).

There are a lot of gatekeepers in the music industry at every step of the way and what is required to get through them varies, but in at least some places the cost is financial. That's been true for the history of recorded music (and before) and will some things change, those dynamics don't.

All I can say is that if people's model of the music industry doesn't contain the idea that some gatekeepers in the music industry require resources to get through - then they're not curious enough about the industry to be worth listening to.

#I often feel #like discussions of the music industry within fandom #have no engagement #with what I think of as common knowledge about the industry

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sylvies-kablooie · 3 months

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i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

#i often wonder about how many things would be considered classic or high art had they only received the marketing #how many short films that were made for class could have been the most powerful thing you'd ever seen? if you'd seen them?#“you know the greatest films of all time were never made” etc etc #but like. these works of art ARE being made. it's just enjoyed by a smaller audience with equal impact though #i think about this one furry i used to follow on insta who had the coolest worldbuilding ever. it's been years.#thought prompted by that sketch of nimona from ten years ago that was just for a character design #posted to the creator's tumblr and now it's nominated for best animated feature film at the oscars #and by the genuine emotional reaction a fan comic made me feel. how much work had gone into it. how beautiful it was to me.#idk what to tag this but i hope whoever needs to hear it does #writing #writer #fandom #fandom culture #artist

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brawnie · 2 months

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*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way

#shipping #this is about a lot of ships #so I’m gonna tag a few #zosan #zolu #destiel #radioapple #I’m not saying you can’t play around with these themes man #I just feel like they’re shoehorned in so often #lawlu #davekat #pepsicola #sabriel #lgbt #fandom #dirkjake #10k #20k #1k

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spitblaze · 2 months

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I don't see people gas up gnc and butch transfems nearly enough, can we get a fuckin round of applause for gnc and butch transfems

#spitblaze says things #transgender #transfem #mtf #several very good friends of mine are butch/gnc transfems and they both rule immensely #also theres just not enough appreciation for butch/gnc women generally but especially not transfem ones #not to do performative activism while having a post about not being a performative activist going around #i just wanna shout out a group that i feel is often overlooked #doin numbers

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bereft-of-frogs · 24 days

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There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things #full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes #because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner #'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon'#and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is #at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all #please tell me you know that #or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy #being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'

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cemeterything · 3 months

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i'm aromantic but to me the most romantic words in the universe are "you won't hurt me". i trust you to try not to cause me pain, and you can trust me to have the self-preservation instincts and knowledge and respect for your boundaries not to let you.

#🐉#yes i often feel more like an unsocialised beaten animal than a man. thats not important right now though.

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wis-art · 2 months

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I'm sorry but I'm just so angry, we really do need to include black people in queer art there is no queer history without black people I'm tired of barely seeing any black coded characters on this site. Being queer is not a white thing but it feels like it's the default on this website.

#I'm sorry but there are barely any designs that look like my bf in the gay corners #they're the vast majority i feel like people like him are often overlooked and forgotten and it makes me mad #im mad that righteous torrence chevy hill was killed #I'm mad that people like him and my bf often dont get recognized in art #im mad that my bf is scared #im mad about lots of things

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jibril-thelibraryangel · 1 year

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Hot take but… “Gale was a teen soldier who got brainwashed, by a manipulative dictator, into the idea that sacrificing a small number of troops was worth it to definitively stop the government that had spent years ruining the lives of him and his people” and “Gale’s gross disregard for human life directly led to the death of Prim and thousands of other civilians including children, and Katniss is justified in her anger and has no obligation to ever forgive him” are two statements that can and should coexist together.

#the hunger games #I feel so often Gale just gets painted as this one dimensional villain that was just hiding his true evil all along #which is dumb #but the only people who I ever see defend him are the ones that think what happened was just an accident and Katniss should’ve forgive him #which is even worse #katniss and gale #katniss everdeen #gale hawthorne

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lookingatyouwriter · 22 days

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I finally watched The Old Guard and tumblr did not adequately prepare me for how funny the van kiss scene actually is. Like I've seen whole gif sets of Joe's impromptu love poem but that's not the half of it.

Dude are you sure you want to be making a homophobic jab at these people specifically

Joe: "Yeah he is and what about it, bitch boy" <- said with far more grace and eloquence

Nicky: "<3"

(This is where we give kudos to the actors for not smashing each other's teeth in when LAUNCHING at each other. Couldn't have been me)

Everyone is so taken aback they fully just watch for a whole second in, presumably, homophobic horror before all simultaneously deciding This Cannot Stand

you INTERRUPT joe and nicky? you interrupt their kiss like the football game? oh! oh! death for homophobes! death for homophobes for One Thousand Years!!!!

This isn't really part of the scene but "There's a TV, Joe!" is close enough that I'm going to add it. As an epilogue.

#the old guard #I feel I said homophobe too often. but them getting theirs is a significant part of the fun though

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deadlydelicious · 6 months

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the quiet whispered way Owen Wilson says 'let time pass' is actually devastating.

don't ever let anyone think he's somehow a lesser actor than Hiddleston just because he cut his teeth in Ben Stiller movies not Shakespeare. That wistful delivery gutted me every bit as much as Loki's shaky smile when he realizes what he has to do.

#owen wilson #mobius #loki #loki season 2 #lokius #all props to tom too but i feel like we as fans talk about is phenomenal skill so often - owen deserves some recognition too

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milk-lover · 5 months

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Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)

#adhd #actually adhd #i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment.#1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj #i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me.#edit: pages 80-85 #edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction #keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it #if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to #expand someone’s access to a paper like this

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hungwy · 2 years

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we need a three day weekend i swear to god no experiments no testing no bullshit we gotta lop off a workday

#not the most radical opinion but i feel it very strongly after coming home from work. and often

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welcometogrouchland · 2 months

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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post