#I need to make Morgan more of a twink | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

austronauts · 2 years

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youtube

i am returning with yet another brainrot episode [dodges booing and tomatoes being thrown] of me annotating mitch youtube content.

this podcast episode with connor was ADORABLE and revealed a side of him that we rarely ever see otherwise SO...it has made my mitch hyperfixation at LEAST 5x worse. I say this so i can warn you to listen at your own peril (i say listen rather than watch bc mitch is like..in 240p the whole time and at certain points looks SO BLURRY he looks like an impressionist painting of a twink. how very renoir of him tbh).

I also recognize this video is long af (honestly i didnt know mitch knew this many words....very impressed) so i’m time-stamping every part that im annotating...... also this post got so long so i’m sorry. i KNOW i always say this but it’s bc im genuinely always surprised by my own verbose ass.,.,,,,.,,,,.,.,,,,, WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY IM JUST LIKE MITCH FR I NEED TO STOP YAPPING (morgan rielly voice: “just never shuts up”)

1:35: mitch apparently loves oysters? honestly adding this only because it’s so cute when his face scrunches up and he throws his head back to laugh at 2:12 (also why is connor’s water glass so dirty what is HAPPENING)

3:21: mitch marner, self-proclaimed coffee aficionado and BEST coffee maker on the leafs, does not know what a chemex is. the look of blank confusion. i know what you are. a fraud who would rather be drinking capri suns and chocolate milk.

3:45: ok now we understand WHY mitch is always wearing a redbull hat (when he’s not wearing his recent assortment of ridiculous hat acquisitions like that powder blue hat with the HUGE BRIM or the orange prada bucket hat) - redbull just sends mitch HATS ON HATS ON HATS that he’s not even allowed to share as part of his agreement. i am now, in fact, asking redbull to send him EVEN MORE HATS so he’s less tempted to wear those hats he’s been wearing this off-season. redbull should just absolutely bury him in hats until he is no longer even visible. he’s not that big so it really shouldn’t take that many hats!!! that’s what i call a hat trick. that’s what i call cap space [booing from audience intensifies]

6:25: WHY is a CONNOR CARRICK MITCH MARNER PODCAST HOW I FIND OUT THAT PK SUBBAN AND LINDSEY VONN WERE ENGAGED?!?!! WHAT IN THE SPORTS ROYALTY?

7:14: just connor gassing mitch up and then chirping him for looking like a newborn foal when he entered the league (mitch then chirps himself for what he looked like with his shirt off lmao - it always surprises me how self-aware he seems to be and how comfortable he seems to be with himself? genuinely endearing tbh)

9:34: mitch talking about how formative visiting the children’s hospital in london (with christian dvorak) 1-2x a week was for him and the “legacy” he wants to build as a hockey player. like. as a cynical human i understand that this podcast is meant to be a fluff piece that’s beneficial for mitch’s reputation/brand, but as a human human i cannot help but be touched by how sincere mitch is about this. and more importantly, he’s shown it with his actions re: the genuine friendship he had with hayden, who mitch met during these hospital visits.

11:54: hearing about mitch’s contract issues from mitch’s POV is pretty interesting, and i believe this is the most extensively he’s ever spoken about it? it makes so much sense that mitch’s biggest priority was not wanting to miss training camp and pre-season. and that he had ZERO intention of leaving the leafs. im forever genuinely flabbergasted by that contingent of leafs fans who thinks mitch was the one in the room negotiating with kyle/the leafs and playing games to squeeze every last dollar out of them? like DO THEY KNOW MITCH? THE TWITCH STREAMER? my. brother in christ, this guy does not even know what an encyclopedia is. my brother in christ, this guy called his finnish teammate “finlish.” ANYWAY, he talks pretty openly about the impact the contract negotiations and pressure had on him mentally

17:40: connor: what is your favorite part of being a toronto maple leaf? mitch: my friends 🥺

19:54: mitch talking about how he just likes to check in “on his guys” and connor pointing out that whenever he gets an assist or a goal in a game, he still gets texts from mitch. WHICH IS. SO SWEET. as someone who is absolutely fucking terrible at keeping in touch with people i am JUST. SORRY TO BE A SAP BUT THATS SO SWEET OF HIM? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! IM GOING TO EAT HIM!!!!!!

20:30: THIS IS THE BEST PART LOWKEY - THE NIKE SHOES STORY DODOHFODHOSHSODASODHFAIDHFLWJEFKDLJKSAS. IF U WATCH NOTHING ELSE PLEASE WATCH THIS. THE DAY CONNOR GOT MOVED FROM THE LEAFS AND WAS SAD MITCH JUST SHOWED UP WITH A GIANT PILE OF SHOES TO GIVE CONNOR AND CONNOR HAD TO BE LIKE “MITCH? I AM MOVING? I CANNOT TAKE ALL THESE SHOES???” THIS IS THE MOST MITCH MARNER STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD I CANNOT LIKE IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IF I READ IT IN A FIC I WOULDVE BEEN LIKE “LMAOOO THIS AUTHOR NAILED MY HEADCANON OF MITCH BUT IRL MITCH WOULD NEVER DO THAT” BUT NO! HE DOES! HE HAS! the fairy godmother only gave cinderella one pair of glass slippers but mitch marner will show up at your doorstep with 10+ pairs of emotional support nikes that he’s been trying to give you for MONTHS because he loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24:45: Mitch talking about how the award he’d want to win the most is the Selke - and given how great Mitch has been this past season offensively AND defensively AND on the PP AND on the PK??? give minch the selke send tweet.

28:30: when Mitch was drafted by London he was 5′6″ and 125lbs DLKDLKSJA HE WAS fucking TEENSY! please! i 100% could have carried him around in a fanny pack with my wallet and keys and a granola bar and the 3-4 random crumpled receipts from walgreens

30:16: “whenever people ask me what it was like playing with mitchy, i always tell them he has the ability to rubiks’ cube the game.” i LOVE This and i will be using this expression from now on, even though i have never solved a rubik’s cube and never will!

46:20: I would say this is the 2nd really meaty part of this podcast? It’s where Connor and Mitch talk about Mitch’s draft day experience. When Mitch talks about how NERVOUS he was when Toronto went up to draft their 4th pick i started laughing because if you watch the 2015 draft video you can SEE JUST HOW PETRIFIED AND TERRIFIED AND CLOSE TO SHITTING HIMSELF THEN THROWING UP THEN FAINTING AND DISINTEGRATING INTO A PILE OF DRIED UP LEAVES MITCH LOOKS LMAO. like that boy was on the brink of death. also, really interesting details behind Phoenix Coyotes drafting Dylan at third right before Mitch here!

51:47: The 3rd meaty (auston-y :---))))) ) part of this podcast: Mitch talking about THE BABCOCK INCIDENT where babcock made mitch grade his teammates on work ethic. Mitch talks about it with a lot of levity and positivity tbh but hearing mitch even joke and laugh about it makes me sad because it clearly was a really awful experience for him to go through as a rookie. knowing how close mitch was and is to those 3 guys at the bottom - tyler bozak, naz, JVR (his recent italian escapade buddy) - is definitely comforting tho. BOOING BABCOCK FOREVER FOR THIS TBH. like WHAT were you aiming to get out of this and why the hell would you ever put a ROOKIE in this impossible situation?

55:46: THE FINAL MEATY PART OF THIS PODCAST: THE MATT MARTIN SECTION. honestlyyyyY. just watch this part from beginning to end pls because mitch clearly loves and treasures matt SO much and there’s SO much here that will make you want to gnaw gnaw gnaw chew chew chew scream ferally and SUE connor carrick for your upper body injury (heart hurts)... but anyway, a few highlights:

Mitch calling Marty a protector, a big brother, and “how big of a mentor he was to me” - i WILL CRY!!!!!!! I WILL!!!!! THATS MY FAVE LEAFS SHIP RIGHT THERE

“He was all for me shooting a puck off his leg or his ass.” every other time Mitch opens his mouth he says something that makes me go “wait ..what did he say?” and have to re-listen. this is one of those moments

the FUNNIEST story about how connor and matt almost fought when they played for different teams because matt found connor so annoying. i won’t spoil the details but i - i def cackled out loud

“you just felt 2 feet taller with matt around” 🥺🥺🥺 ok that’s fine tHATS FINE

OH GOD. THE worst part: Mitch talks about how Matt and Syd would always invite him over and make sure Mitch never felt alone his rookie year, and how this experience of feeling included and loved by Matt shaped the kind of teammate/friend Mitch tries to be aka making sure his home and heart are always open to his teammates. I....I’M. Y’ALL. HOLD MY HAND AND STAY WITH ME BECAUSE LIKE - think about the way bogo (esp when his family was away during covid) and justin lived with mitch and how the leafs all clearly love mitch so much and how mitch says he always tries to be the positive energy guy for his team AND I JUST . LETHAL PSYCHIC DAMAGE SUFFERED FROM THIS PART OF THE PODCAST TBH BRAIN JUST LEAKIN OUT THROUGH MY EARHOLES AS I CRAWL INTO A CORNER. Matt Martin drop your location right now and square up because i will fight you right now for what you’ve done. how DARE you and mitch marner, 2 rich white men i absolutely do not know, make me want to be a better kinder person....i...pretend i do not see it...i pretend i do not feel it.

1:02:58: Yes this podcast is over an hour long and i watched all of it ahahahah1!! haHA! anyway, mitch thanking the frontline workers - very sincere and endearing and mitch-y (aka causing little brain blips of complete confusion - like why did he call the UPS... “ups”? is this a canadian thing? also him thanking the WIFI PEOPLE FJDLKDJLDDSDSSDAKJLDDFLFJFKJLDSJLDKFAJL lmfaofjldjDDKS lmfaofofoofofOFOFO okay)

But seriously the entire podcast is extremely endearing and it’s still the off-season so please do watch the whole thing if you have a chance! then come yell with me about it u know i love to yell

#mitch marner #connor carrick #no like WHY is he like this #why am i WRITING THIS #i am looking in the mirror like...what have i become #WHO HAVE I BECOME #nhldraftbust look up this isnt u #he's so SOFT god im going to eat him one day and it won't be my fault for committing cannibalism

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nasuversekinkmeme · 9 months

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Weekly roundups: prompts

Tsukihime

Smut, I want that anemic twink Shiki spitroasted by Arcueid and Ciel in some odd competitive threesome thing the two got going on

Show mercy on my soul. Femboy Akiha.

Fate/Stay Night

FGO

Smut, For as much as they want her 'spear', I think Morgan should introduce Gudako and Da Vinci to it-- that is, can we have her cock vore the two of them?

Smut, incest, Karna and Vritra team up to edge and overstim Arjuna until he cries

jeanne gets some well deserved karma for her big sister beam brainwashing .

Yknow how Nobukatsu gloats over the REAL Nobunaga saying he is nothing like his as he lays dying from the poison he gave him? Something similar but this time Mitsuhide is the target and he made sure the poison was just right that it would take a very long time for him to die as he watches Or he just stabs the guy I dunno Nobukatsu deserves to kill more people

Morgan is Bored and demands carnival rides be built in Fae Britain. Entertainment ensues.

Noncon, incest, Summer Avatoria having a soft fulfilling romance with Muramasa as people who are tied by fate thrice over. Meanwhile Summer Castoria would LOVE to stop waking up filled with cum from a man she considers ber grandfather. The downsides of sharing a body you know how it is (feel free to play it as lighthearted or fucked up as you wish)

Asclepius becomes a therapist because dear God do some of these servants (and staff) need help and somebody's gotta be the counselor.

Noncon, Elaine of Carbonek, the raging bitch who raped Lancelot and mother of Galahad, is summoned. If you thought Galahad resented his FATHER, y’all ain’t seen nothing yet. Mash has to be physically restrained when Elaine refers to her as “Junior.” (Technically, Galahad would be Galahad Jr, if Lancelot ever went by his birth name. I am an Arthuriana nerd.)

Emiya realizes that Ritsuka mission are becoming too dangerous, so he locks himself there with her, she can left whenever she wants, as long as she is able to do a simple task, with all the knowledge and weapons she gathered from her servants she must kill him, proving she has become strong enough to be the protector of humanity

Salieri gets a Summer form, where instead of being the amalgamation of the rumours of who killed Mozart, he's the amalgamation of the myths of the Maenads who tore Orpheus apart.

First Hassan and Shiki killing increasingly improbable and abstract things as a friendly contest. Escalating from “the tension in the room” to Barghest’s desire to eat her loved ones” to “Artoria’s resentment of Mordred” to “Wednesdays.”

Continuation of the Grand Carnival joke: Atalanta has to marry Kingprotea, BB is in charge of organizing wedding and the rest of the Sakura Five are bridesmaids aka have to make sure Atalanta doesn't escape.

Blackbeard, Absolute Disgusting Degenerate that he is, is well aware that his kink is not everyone else's kink, and so after finding some improperly tagged Smut or Hentai, decides to make a video about the importance of tagging, what it means, and how to do it, because tagging your shit properly means that everyone can enjoy themselves in peace, so long as they use the blacklist. (This just kinda came to me TBH, Cause Blackbeard just kinda feels like he'd take proper tagging very seriously given everything about him.)

Fun fact: "thou" and "thy" and such were actually the informal register - "you" and "your" were the fancy, polite terms. Therefore, someone should write a fic of First Hassan trying to seem hip and chill and failing catastrophically because his understanding of what counts is hundreds of years out of date.

UDK Barghest gets hired to Put out a Fire (Read: Help Melusine with her Draconic Heat). Whether it goes full smut or if it goes in a comedic non sexy route is up to the author

Smut, Yu Mei-Ren has Hella Gay Sex with her Summer Variant. (Not NTR, though I'm not sure who all would consider it such anyway since its self on self.)

One of the Draconic/Lizard Servants installs a heat lamp in their room, because if you've got a tech wizard who will do anything for you, why not? After approximately 10-ish seconds of "why didn't I think of this before" from all the other Dragon-type servants, everyone immediately rushes to said room. Ensue dogpile of like, 20 lizard people (including Oberon and Rasputin for some reason??? gotta love traits) whether this is horny or not is up to the writer.

Smut, On their big day, a bride is stressed about the whole event and is this close to calling it quits. Habetrot can't have this so obviously there's one solution: cocksleeve time!

Barghest is openly lamenting in the hallway about how she can never be close to master or anyone else she loves bc of her bestiary nature and how she wishes she could keep herself in check. Scathach hears this and goes "Say no more" and puts her in a collar leash and muzzle. She's trained dogs before

Gudako tries her hardest to be Titania for Oberon. Oberon has Opinions about this. (I'll leave it to the prompt filler if these opinions are Positive, Negative, or Mixed.)

What started as a tiny fight "for charity" between Hektor and Achilles soon turns brutal as Achilles starts to truly want to kill Hektor. Paris, Manricardo, Alexander, and even Penth try to step in to stop him

Some asshole tries to threaten Guda only for them to reply and I quote "I'm not scared of Death, we have Tea on the weekends" Smash cut to them actually having tea with King Hassan, Eresh and Shiki. Whether Guda got hurt or not by the threatener ill leave up to the author.

How did Mel get access to Nemos aircraft carrier? Mysteriously kiss-covered Nemos refuse to answer (Note: all of em are adults)

Fun fact: Sastoria's NP is most effective against Summer Hokusai as she is both Chaotic, Divine, and a Threat to Humanity. Sooooo one-sided jealousy where Sastoria hates Saber Hokusai and Hokusai can't figure out why

Because I don't think we'll see him this summer. What summer side adventure is Kadoc doing? Who with him is you to the author.

Melusine's dragon nature means she likes building a hoards of all the things precious to her. now that she feels comfortable in Chaldea she can't help but gather all the people she likes to cuddle together with in bed with. Who ends up in her cuddle pile is up to y'all

Vlad is talked into going on a boat ride to relax. Everyone on the boat is very uncomfortable with this

Anything involving Ritsuka having extreme mommy issues

so Chloe's whole... thing... is "justified" in-universe as she needs magic to stay stable, so she gets it by doing... that. Ergo, I want to see something where she's summoned in Chaldea and thus hooked up to a stable magic supply, so she doesn't have to do that anymore and gets to actually Process and maybe just Be A Kid instead.

Other

I kinda just wanna say “Galehaut” and watch what the Fate fandom does with the idea of the half-giant king that only didn’t overthrow Camelot because he wanted to bone Lancelot. So I will.

Kinks are known to suddenly appear and develop with age, so: Older version of a servant helping unlock a kink for their younger self

can we get some consensual hypnokink content, perhaps? maybe someone has a kink for being hypnotized and wants so badly to hand over control for a little bit, or they're nervous about performing well during sex and just want to be more assured in themselves! how and why it's done is up to the author/artist as well as the characters, so long as there is consent established!

#weekly roundup

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alethiometry · 1 year

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Rules: list eight shows for your followers to get to know you better.

Tagged by @aeide!

1. black sails. OBVIOUSLY. it's got everything. drama, intrigue, ocean gays, lying little wet rat twinks, anti-colonialist uprisings, caribbean history, grimy period-appropriate costumes, heartbreak, monologues, toby "saturday chillin don't fuckin @ me i'm chillin" schmitz calling himself daddy. everybody slays absolute cunt. it is THEEEE most perfect show ever created.

2. parks and recreation. rewatching p&r is an interesting experience because it was such a product of obama-era liberal america and the optimism just oozes out of every scene. also we don't like crisp ratt anymore. but it's also so genuinely funny and heartfelt and comforting! this show had a massive impact on my sense of humor, as well as i think framed failure in such a positive light: every character failed drastically at something over the course of the show, but through caring for each other were able to pick themselves back up and never let their shortcomings define them. i first watched it at a point in my life where i really needed that, so it has always stuck with me.

3. leverage. my comfort show to turn to when living in a post-capitalist hellscape that continues to reward billionaires for their moral bankruptcy while shitting on everybody else gets too depressing (so… like every day). is it campy and unrealistic? yes. do i care? no. sometimes you need escapism via direct action, heist hijinks, and extreme displays of bisexuality. also aldis hodge is one of the most beautiful human beings on planet earth.

4. supernatural. yeah yeah it's the hehe destiel meme show. but it was also tons of fun to watch every week, the worldbuilding started out fantastic (and then got progressively more and more insane), i think it's really the epitome of "really cool ideas with mostly lackluster execution". the bloody mary episode remains one of my favorite episodes of tv ever, and the fandom drama just keeps giving! i also met some of my dearest friends through the fandom, so maybe the real destiel love memes were the friends we made along the way.

5. twin peaks. the only show that made me so insane i went and got a tattoo of it. impeccable vibes, the experience of watching s3 and then memeing about it on reddit with everyone else who were all equally confused is an experience that will never be replicated.

6. love island uk. listen. fucking listen. i don't want this show to be listed here any more than any of you do, i'm sure. absolute bottom of the barrel brain rot that consumes my life and brings my workday to a grinding halt (thank you timezones) for the 2 months that each season is running. i absolutely have nothing good to say about love island uk other than it's sometimes really funny, usually unintentionally. but iain stirling's voice and those stupid neon pillows/beanbags and atrocious cursive font and catchphrases have wormed their way into my brain and nothing short of a complete lobotomy can remove it.

7. how to get away with murder. this wouldn't even be on here if saff and i didn't go on an insane binge of all six seasons last fall. but since we did… here we are. michaela pratt is an icon and has never done anything wrong ever in her life and i will die on this hill.

8. cunk on earth. this is probably recency bias speaking but oh my god i adore this show. it is exactly my brand of humor and i have so much respect for all the experts and miss diane morgan herself for making it through those interviews without breaking, because i would be fighting for my fucking life. this is the show that i will henceforth be recommending like a madwoman to all my friends.

honorable mentions: american vandal, derry girls, naruto, south park, dexter, elementary, orphan black.

i'm tagging: @winedark @seance @assassiyun @thatsouthernanthem @potsticker1234 @ciaramedba @doomcountry @thychesters <3

#tag games #cool story charlotte

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gas-stxtion · 1 year

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@rejectshumanity said: ♡ ♢ ☼ for the munday meme!

(what is this? an interrogation? come back with a warrant - open)

//hehe thank you <3 i'll put these under the cut b/c i never fucking shut up lmao

♡ What are your top five favorite things about yourself?

//how daaaare you make me be nice to myselffffff

no jokes aside <3 anyway.

i like that i'm generally a nice person! i think that it's important to be kind when you can, because there's enough darkness in the world. why not be kind when you have the chance?

... on another note, though, i'm really happy that i'm getting better at standing up for myself and handling conflict. because being kind is important, but sometimes you gotta be a bitch and that's life! i was rereading something i sent a friend years ago regarding a conflict i was having at the time, and i was astounded by it lmao like... oh my god. my dude. you have very good reasons to be upset and it's okay to say "i'm mad at this person" without adding a million disclaimers that it's probably not their fault!!

i genuinely think i'm *so* fucking funny, and for better or worse, you will certainly hear my jokes.

i'm a good listener. when people are having a hard time and need someone to talk to, i'm good at like... just offering a listening ear. i may not always have advice but i can generally listen and chat and help someone talk through it if that's what they need.

i don't like to judge people unless they give me very, very good reason to, especially if i don't know them. i try to assume ignorance more than i'll assume malice, though i'm also trying to get better at recognizing when the line between those can get a bit blurred haha.

♢ What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?

//gimme that salted caramel <333 though honestly a long-time favorite is like. anything with cherries. that's the good shit.

☼ Who are your top five favorite fictional characters?

//CRACKS KNUCKLES.

okay for the sake of not going on forever, i'll just list five characters that aren't muses of mine (at least not on this blog). because we all know mr jack townsend is number one but like. others deserve a shot. for fun, i'll also explain myself a bit :3c

dr. robert langdon - the da vinci code (and other dan brown books)

i was obsessed with these books a completely normal amount as a middle schooler (lying). something about this like... charming middle-aged professor who keeps finding himself in the middle of massive conspiracies usually related in some way to religion and frequently having his life put in danger? and saves the day by being a fucking nerd? what a dude!

arthur morgan - red dead redemption 2

if you were there for my rdr2 fixation (which most of you definitely weren't lmao) then uhhh yeah <3 genuinely i had a huge crush on this character and was so obsessed with him for so long. the yearning was out of control, folks. i do still have a lot of fondness for him, but tbh some not-so-fun interactions in the fandom really put me off of the whole series for a while. he still means a lot to me though!

rhys - tales from the borderlands

would it be exaggerating to say that rhys tftbl is the reason i'm trans? probably. but y'know something about him really resonated with me at a time when i was really going through some gender fuckery and trying to figure myself out. idk what it says about me that that shitty little twink helped me figure myself out a bit, but anyway.

evelyn mckinnon - accounts from a lonely broadcast station

had to list at least one woman lmao- but yeah i really love evelyn. she's such an incredibly written character and every time i reread (or. rather. re-listen to) the series i actually get a little choked up because her narrative is so *fascinating* and well-done to me. like wow we love a tragic cringefail woman who has to face her own mistakes and become better, not just for her own sake but for others'!!! and face the fact that her fuck-ups hurt more than just herself!!!

evelyn is one of the many characters i'm considering for the horror multimuse i talk about sometimes. and maybe i'll even let her stay a cis woman- i'm kidding ASDFJKL; but like. fr. we'll see.

charlie kelly - it's always sunny in philadelphia

honorable mention for the trashiest man i'm currently thinking about lmao- so i started watching iasip because i wanted to see the insanity for myself and. wow all of these characters are terrible. but god it's so fun to see them in action. and charlie is by far my favorite. he's illiterate. he drinks paint. he eats cat food for fun. he's an artist. he makes a living beating rats to death with a stick. he's a wet paper bag of a man. he's very deeply traumatized and doesn't realize it.

he's the perfect man.

#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc}#rejectshumanity #the phone is twenty five cents a minute‚ paid in advance‚ no exceptions {answered}#//thank you dani!!!#//wow i went on for a while lmao

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evajellion · 1 year

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It's fine. Your disaster lesbian charm is what everyone likes about you. I'm betting on Xian, for the cage match. She's strong & cute as well, just needs more love too. Demon!Alethea's only regret about herself, is how attracted she is to everyone. You can make a series about her assembling a harem. Remember, she's pansexual too; "I'm a twink? I never thought someone would like me that way!" -Kato. Greed means you take. So a gag is that Max tries to save his daughter & get his ass beat each time

I FORGOT ABOUT XIAN- I'm sorry Xian!!

Honestly, for February I'm either doing Valentines' stuff or FemSlash Feb, and between the Executioner and… some interesting fan art I saw of the sisters (especially Chan oogh-) I'm leaning toward the latter…

Honestly, I view Max's relationship with his daughter as akin to how Bass Armstrong (another Hulk-inspired character) is to his daughter- a bit too protective. Has to tell his daughter to not fool around with what careers she wants to pursue. So yes, you're exactly right.

(I always liked this franchise and these two characters skjsefj- Tina is totally what I imagine Ellen looking like!! She's so pretty!)

Since Namkiat seems to be the youngest champion I imagine he probably tried to hit it off with Ellen… only for Max Morgan to just, block his path.

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actualbird · 3 years

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Heeeeeey pal it's Ida!

So I was thinking about Darius and how he's the only one with facial hair... (its a crime we can't romance Detective Morgan) and I was wondering... if the boys grew facial hair, what styles would each of them choose?

Its hard to imagine them with facial hair but it makes me wonder, especially if you have any idea :)

HI IDAAA!!!! :DDD it took me a sec to realize ur the same ida from twitter and not another person coincidentally also named ida KJBKS

okay so ur ask is worded in a way that implies that i should be thinking along the lines that facial hair is something the nxx boys are all capable of achieving but kjbkJBJFG MY THOUGHTS R HINGED ON THE FACT THAT ONLY SOME OF EM CAN ACTUALLY LIKE, MAKE IT HAPPEN.

that being said, lemme dive right into this

can the nxx boys grow facial hair? if yes, what style?

wc: 1.2k

disclaimer: im not putting pics of the facial hair styles in this post bc i dont wanna deal with that kind of gender envy kjfbgf. the names of the styles are in 'apostrophes' in the subheaders for ur own googling

luke pearce: he cant. full stop. in terms of tactile feel, this is a very smooth man.

im being mean to luke here, im fully aware, but hes SO GOOD at SO MANY STUPID "MASCULINE" ACTIVITIES. he can shoot guns, he can do action movie driving, hes deffo the most physically ripped out of all the boys, AND MANY MORE OTHER THINGS THAT DRIVE ME NUTS (affectionately), like. this shouldnt be allowed. there should be a LIMIT to how many societally masculine things a person should be able to do and do well. so no facial hair for luke pearce. cry me a fucking river, luke, this is called FAIRNESS.

so yep, not a single facial hair. it's slightly excruciating for him because it does NOT help his "AWWW LOOK AT THIS BABY FACED BOY" vibe. mc is never gonna stop pinching his cheeks and he doesnt even have any protection against it...

(...still, he figures maybe this isnt too much of a problem. afterall, if he had facial hair, he wouldnt be able to feel gentle touches to his face directly. and luke pearce? this dude Has to nuzzle into somebodys palm for his continued wellbeing. maybe this is for the better)

marius von hagen: he can but he doesnt like it so he shaves religiously.

marius can grow facial hair no problem which is a surprise since his dad looks like how he looks like (austin von hagen has never had a single facial hair, thats an absolute dolphin of a man, so aerodynamic) but MARIUS DOESNT LIKE IT.

it's a personal preference but he doesnt like how it's rough and how it messes with his "i am sexy hot gorgeous fae-like creature of mischief and beauty" vibes. so when marius detects even the slightest of stubble, the beginnings of a whatever-o'clock shadow, hes shaving!! bye bye!!!!

he does appreciate that facial hair is nice on other people, just not on him. he's been to art school. im sure marius has not only seen stupidly hot facial hair-d individuals, he's made out with a solid chunk of them as well. marius has to admit, getting stubble burn is kinda great! still, it's not something he's gonna be the one to give

vyn richter: he can and once hes comfortable changing up his twink doctor aesthetic, he goes for the 'Anchor Beard'.

like marius, vyn can grow facial hair no problem and shaves regularly though it's not that he doesnt like it it's just that...hes Very Comfortable with his current look and it seems like such a risky chore to change that up? his current look is great and it fits him and other people like it and GASP the danger of changing his aesthetic into something people MIGHT NOT LIKE?? MIGHT NOT FIND COOL AND HANDSOME AND WONDERFUL???? vyn would rather dig his own fucking grave

he'd need some coaxing perhaps from a lover or lovers that "Vyn, It's Okay To Change Ur Look If You Want To, If You Look Like Crap, It's Fine, The World Isn't Going To End." once he gets that through his equal parts horrid and hilarious brain, he'll go through a bunch of styles before settling on the anchor beard and variations of it. it's fresh and modern which a nice contrast from his usual archaic aesthetic.

(when marius sees vyn tho hes like "HAHA YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MAGICIAN" and then the only thing you'll be able to hear after that is the screams of marius von hagen being hunted for sport, the sound getting further and further away)

artem wing: he can but he never lets it grow out and maybe thats alright maybe thats better for us because one time he did let it grow and then the entirety of stellis is suddenly SO MUCH MORE (DECENTLY) WHORISH IN HIS GENERAL VICINITY because the style he goes for is the Farmer’s Market Hot™ 'Short Full Beard'.

before i explain the latter terminology above, lemme first explain the first bit. artem can grow facial hair no problem but hes SUCH a stickler for formality and being prim and proper so actually having facial hair is something he never lets happen. he shaves regularly and IMPORTANT NOTE, hes shaving with a fucking STRAIGHT RAZOR (pictured below)

rationalization: artem is old fashioned in very specific (and personally endearing) areas, like he prefers to handwrite with fountain pens in a largely paperless era. thats hot! yknow whats another old fashioned thing thats hot? STRAIGHT RAZORS!!!! hes whipping this out on the reg, pressing the exquisitely sharpened edge against the skin of his throat, dragging it with precise movements. if any poor soul watches artem shave, i wish that poor soul strength to not fuck him ON THE SPOT.

but yeah he doesnt let his facial hair grow but maybe one time he did (uhhh i cant think of a reason bc beards take 2-4 months to grow and lol, artem wing not at the office for 2-4 months? what happened, did themis law firm get sucked into a wormhole? just think of Some Kind Of Reason u like as to why he doesnt shave for a while) and. HM. WELL.

okay time define Farmer’s Market Hot™, a term i came across 6 years ago from this post by tofixtheshadows. the post reads:

"Farmer’s Market Hot is a wholesome kind of hot. Rugged but approachable. It’s not the kind of hot where you immediately go, “Oh my god they’re so perfect, I want to take them home and photograph them/tear their clothes off.” That’s for later. This is the kind of hot for people who would visit the farmer’s market to buy some organic cheeses on their way to pick up their kids from their Creativity Through Music class. It’s the look that says “I’m here to support our local beekeepers.” You see them and it makes you want to settle down. You want to do your taxes with them, raise dogs together."

when artem wing lets his facial hair grow, his beard is so hot, it makes him SO HOT which is unfair because HES ALREADY HOT but now hes walking around stellis in his soft fuckin sweater and going to the grocery very intently studying the fresh produce and his beard along with the rest of his vibes just makes everything about him scream "i will cook you breakfast in bed and it will taste exquisite and i care about the local ecosystem and gently put trespassing insects into a cup to release outside and i am SO GODDAMN MARRY-ABLE" and bros, if everybody wanted him before, they, impossibly, want him even more now

stellis would not be able to fucking cope. when artem shaves the beard off, a sigh of relief rumbles throughout the entire city.

all in all: artem wing won this post. it wasnt even a competition, but he won it.

#tears of themis #luke pearce #marius von hagen #vyn richter #artem wing

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sadachmesarthim · 3 years

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C-cowboy starker? What if cowboy starker, I mean? I think... cattle driver Tony maybe, and ranch hand Peter,,, always wanted to write about this but I’m shy 🙈

mid-writing edit: i’ve spent half an hour on this and my computer is literally lagging with how fast i’m typing. i really hope this makes sense because holy shit, i love cowboy starker. anon, i need you in my inbox every single fucking time you have an idea about starker. idk if it’s in passing, idk if it’s super fleeting and doesn’t make sense. anon, you are my muse

ohhhhh my god anon i ,, love this idea so much i’ve actually thought about this a bit ngl you don’t even know how much i like western aus

okay so hear me out:

i’m thinking brokeback type shit, right?? but just a tad different like be honest who doesn’t like the whole bbm trope yfm and twink jake gyllenhaal is my baby okay okay okay sorry babe i’m still crossfaded as fuck and i could talk about that movie for days anyway back on topic

- no okay but think of it - tony, he’s recently divorced and morgan, his baby girl, his one and only daughter, she’s 19 now and seeing this absolute gentleman of a roughneck. his house is empty, he isn’t paying child support anymore, he doesn’t have this bitchy redhead on his ass 24/7 about getting a job in the city

- because tony hates the city, hates that his father dragged them away from the mountains and prairies he remembers from his childhood. hates what the city gave him - black eyes and mean names and disappointed parents

- so tony high tailed it the fuck out of dodge the second he turned 18. abandoned school, abandoned his family, took his beat up ford out to montana and disappeared. married this nice girl, virginia pepper, worked construction to support her while she went to school. had a pretty baby girl a year or two later. moved both of his girls out to a ranch he bought with their tiny savings, got a couple’a cows and a horse and made friends with a neighbor with a bull

- but eventually, pep had bigger dreams. they were both young when they got married, didn’t look past the immediate sexual compatibility to see that their futures were well and truly not going to go well together

- so she left the ranch, took morgan with, and made her way to the city. became some big lawyer or doctor or businesswoman or something, tony didn’t know. didn’t really care because the child support invoices still came every single month like clockwork.

- so instead of focusing on his distant daughter and his ex wife that wouldn’t listen to him and his family that just... didn’t understand, he threw himself into the wildlife around him

- became closer with those neighbors that had a bull. eventually came to an agreement and let him free with his girls

- built a very solid herd of highlanders in a handful of years, slowly attracting the attention of more and more owners wanting to trade, to buy, to sell

- and maybe one year, he realizes, he’s in a bit too far over his head with this. he has 100 of these four legged fuckers, he has 50 acres to take care of by himself, he has horses to feed and shoe and groom. he has fields to plant and water and harvest if he wants to feed any of the animals mentioned above

- so he reaches out to his neighbors, puts feelers out and sees if anyone knows a farmhand who’d want to help him out, maybe live on the property full time for a bit. and when he gets a call back his heart breaks a bit, because oh my god he wasn’t prepared for this

- a kid, can’t have been more than morgan’s age, has responded to him, and he’s good with his hands mr. stark, and he knows his way around animals mr. stark, been takin’ care of ‘em for his whole life now mr. stark

- and this kid is ,, he sounds so innocent and sweet there’s no way tony’s gonna say yes before he actually meets him

- so tony gives the kid his address, tells him to come out and give things a once over before he makes his mind up

- so peter does. he comes out, introduces himself, looks around the property with tony. and tonys heart hurts, because this kid, this kid that’s standing right in front of him, is almost skin and bones and looks like he’s about to crumble into dust and blow away in his hands

- he brings peter into the house, brings him coffee, offers him food. even after peter politely declines he brings over some bread to share, maybe a slice of pie?? maybe tony can cook and bake. he has a sweet tooth after all, and he’s been on his own for the better part of two decades.

- and he really gets to know peter. they sit, they talk, until the sun dips down and the open mountain chill takes over them

- and peter tells him that he’s been on his own for a couple of years, that his parents died when he was young and that his aunt and uncle took him in on their ranch. that he grew up around animals, working, helping out

- but when they died the property was repossessed by the bank and peter’d all but ran with ben’s keys and the clothes on his back. he’s been on the road ever since, going from missouri to texas to wyoming to montana, all in search of work, never staying in one place longer than a few months.

- he doesn’t tell tony that he’s secretly so, so tired of life on the road. doesn’t say how elated he was when he heard someone was looking for a fairly long-term live in farm hand. because that’s something he knew, something he was good at.

- he also doesn’t tell tony that his heart skipped several beats in a row the second peter laid eyes on him, and that he really wants to work for the gorgeous man in front of him

- it’s finally dark, his coffee cup is long empty and abandoned and peter’s just spilled nearly every single deep dark secret he’s ever had. tony’s closing the windows, and peter makes for the door. he’s taken up enough of this beautiful kind man’s time, he should leave before he stays even further past his welcome

- but tony’s stopping him, blocking him from the door, lightly grabbing his wrist and turning peter to face him fully

- and he’s asking begging pleading telling peter he should stay, that the spare room upstairs is warm and not going to be used anytime soon. that he still needs a farmhand and, as he sees it, peter’s already here

- secretly, tony can’t stand to see him leave

- he couldn’t handle letting his man this... kid, really, leave. not when tony could provide for him. not when he could feed him until his edges soften and his cheeks round out and his tummy gets squishy. not when he could work him into a sweat outside, watch that paperwhite skin turn a rich tan under the summer sun

- not even when he realizes the sudden care for the orphan in front of him is slowly becoming less familial, less platonic, and more... instinctual. base. greedy.

- because who better to make sure this kid is looked after than tony? tony, who has work-worn hands and time-softened eyes and cooking skills any bachelor would die for

- it’s honestly not even that shocking to him when peter says yes

- not when he takes his hand off the doorknob and immediately turns, immediately breathes out a “yes, yes of course mr. stark, thank you so much mr. stark, i’ll do whatever you need me to, you’re incredible mr. stark”

- and it all immediately goes to tony’s dick head because fuck, that was not the intended reaction but it was absolutely welcome, what the fuck

- so tony takes him upstairs, gets peter settled in the guest bedroom right across from his own

- and when he goes to bed that night he absolutely does not touch himself while thinking about the barely 20something thats maybe 10 feet away. doesn’t think about what peter said earlier, with tony’s hand wrapped around his wrist

- absolutely doesn’t cum with peter’s name on his lips, biting down on his knuckles so peter doesn’t hear

- and peter absolutely doesn’t cum with three fingers in his ass, tears streaming down his face, listening to the creaking mattress springs and heavy breathing from across the hall. of course he doesn’t

- and of course they don’t get along well. of course not. of course they don’t work together like they’re telepathically connected, not even needing to speak to know what the other is thinking. it’s like peter can read his mind, knowing exactly what needs done when

- but it’s not just tony. peter can tell before anyone else when the farrier needs to be called. when one of the girls is pregnant, even before she starts showing. knows when one of the cattle dogs has a hurt paw without even seeing him. can tell when it’s going to rain, so he knows whether or not it’ll be a good day to cut the alfalfa fields

- it’s a little freaky to be honest but tony doesn’t hate it. it’s really useful with everything on the farm, and it’s... it’s nice. having someone that can so effortlessly understand him.

- it’s also like peters... totally unaware of it. like he doesn’t even know he knows things he shouldnt know. which blows tony’s mind even more.

- it kinda turns him on, and he finds himself with his hand around his cock wondering if peter knows he’s getting off thinking about him. like, more than once. maybe even more than once a week. definitely more than once a week.

- and maybe peters kind of catching on, a little. that maybe his feelings toward his employer/landlord/new friend are shared

- it also doesn’t help that he gets uncontrollably aroused every time tony goes to bed. like. every... single... time...

- peter always knew he was.. attentive. but he didn’t know it would manifest as literally feeling tony’s arousal through the fucking walls

- and it doesn’t help that peter’s filling out. he’s getting darker as the months get warmer, he’s getting significantly more meat on his bones now that he’s eating more and working more

- and it really doesn’t help that tony is getting eyefuls of the half naked ranch hand almost 24/7. it’s really not his fault that peter works better without a shirt on

- and maybe it comes to a head one day. maybe they’re picking up alfalfa bales from one of the fields and they stop to take a break and tony just ,, can’t handle sweaty, tan, barely-a-twink-anymore peter.

- and peter can feel it, with his ,, unique senses, that tony’s watching him. like, a lot. like, way more than normal even

- so he decides to play it up a bit. he takes his shirt off, he throws his gloves in the bed of the truck and balls the tee in his hands, wiping his face off with it and sighing deeply

- and he knows tony saw that because he could fucking hear tony’s breathing change and he smirks a little bit, because that’s enough confirmation for him to know for sure

- so he looks up, and he meets tony’s eyes, and they’re wild and feral and tony looks like one of the wolves that tried to take out one of their cows last winter - hungry and ready to devour what was in front of him

- and peter just looks at him, a little incredulous, and finally speaks up: ‘you gonna get over here ‘n kiss me, or what?’ - and tony fucking breaks

- he turns the truck off and slams the door when he gets out, grabbing peter by the neck and fucking dragging him against tony’s clothed body

- “do you know what you’ve been doing this whole time?”

- of course peter does, tony, you fucking moron. he knows and he’s been trying to get you to rip him to shreds, dumbass. you’re just oblivious

- but tony still can’t help but see the tiny young man that walked up on his doorstep those years ago, can’t help but want to protect him and keep him safe and warm and fed

- so of course tony wanted to go slow, and wanted to be gentle with peter

- but pete was having fucking none of that, because oh my god tony i’m not 19 anymore please just fuck me already and been wanting you for way too long and please tony just-- and he grabs tony’s hand and makes him squeeze even harder

- and it’s hot, and it’s messy, and it’s not even really sex, just them rutting and grabbing and jerking each other off up against the door of tony’s truck, belt buckles undone and jeans just barely tugged down

- and tony’s basking in it, watching peter’s eyes screw shut and his pretty plush lips open and the little ‘aah, nngh fuck, tony’s that push their way from his throat

- and he knows, the second they’re done here, they’re abandoning their work for the day and he’s taking peter back to the house and he’s going to show him what this is like for real, what it means to be touched with intention and love and emotion behind it - not just a quick handjob standing in the hay field

- and he does. he worships peter’s body when they get back to the house

- he kisses every single part of him, nips at the tiny bit of excess fat on his stomach and thighs and hips, relishing in the fact that peter is his, his to take care of, his to keep safe and healthy and happy

- and eventually, the guest room opens up again. peter’s stuff slowly moves into tony’s room. he stops getting paid, but that’s okay

- because why would you get paid to work on your own farm?

#starker #anon #asked #answered #.ask #i like this idea anon #please see me for any and all future requests you may have #because holy shit #this was enjoyable #anyway im high as FUCK please excuse if this doesn't make sense #love u nonnie #word count: 2.4k

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spencers-renaissance · 3 years

Text

Trees and Seas Have Flown Away, I Call it Loving You

Summary: Derek says something hurtful, but it happens to lead to just about the best thing that's ever happened to Spencer.

Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, making up, bullying, angst with a happy ending, autistic spencer, coming out, getting together

Pairing: Morgan x Reid

Word Count: 3.2k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Spencer is having one hell of a morning. He’d slept late, a significantly rare occurrence for him, and the metro had been delayed and diverted, leaving him to walk a decent chunk of his journey into work. To top it all off, he’d left his pencil case at home, leaving him stuck with cheap office supplies on a paperwork day.

He hates days like these, when his mood is so seriously affected by events beyond his control, and he knows he’s just going to continue to fester in his own self-prescribed misery if he doesn’t take some drastic steps to change the way he’s feeling.

After a moment of staring into space as he considers his options, he decides on a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. Surveying the mess on his desk after opening his eyes, he tackles that next, sorting through case files that can be filed away and organising the notes he’s currently working on as well as rearranging his personal items to stop them taking up so much room. Already feeling better, he takes a few sips of water and some painkillers for the headache he can feel coming on, and locks eyes on the break room. His mid-morning coffee is due.

Elle and Derek are chatting at the counter when he pushes the door open, and he smiles at both of them. He’s still getting used to being around Elle. She’s so confident and intimidating that he’s not really sure if she likes him that much, and it definitely doesn’t help that she reminds him of the girls he used to go to school with, the ones who found it amusing to laugh at the much younger autistic boy, hiding his stuff and calling him names, standing by and laughing when the older boys would beat him up.

He tries very hard with her, though. Maybe this would be a good opportunity to build more rapport, he thinks, so he listens in while he refills the coffee machine’s water. It’s definitely got nothing to do with how much he wants to climb Derek Morgan like a tree.

Derek looks over and catches him up in that thoughtful sort of way that always gets Spencer’s stomach fluttering. “Elle’s just telling me about the hot date she had on Saturday,” he winks, nudging her in the side. “He seems like a catch.” He sips innocently at his coffee and Spencer realises belatedly that he’s being sarcastic and watches for Elle’s response. God, he wishes conversations weren’t so damn convoluted.

“Oh, fuck off, Morgan,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You’re just jealous because I got laid and how long’s it been for you? Months?”

It’s Derek’s turn to roll his eyes, looking over at Spencer in a way that has him flushing pink. “Come on, Greenaway,” he laughs, “you know full well I’m not exactly lacking in that department.”

Elle gives him a dubious look, before raising her eyebrows and sipping her coffee. “Whatever you say,” she says in a patronising tone - the kind that reminds Spencer of an adult indulging a fantastical child. Derek laughs again, tapping lightly on the underside of her mug and causing it to spill over her hand a little. Spencer envies how easy it is for other people to elicit such a beautiful sound from Derek’s mouth; the few times he’s intentionally made Derek laugh he’d felt like he won a trophy, the sort he’d frame in a cabinet and show off to visitors, giving them a tour of the limited map of Spencer’s victories with a proud smile on his face.

He watches the exchange a little awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to these two very dominant personalities discussing an area he’s not overly familiar with. Unfortunately, they don’t ignore him forever and Elle looks over at him, her intense, fiery gaze already stirring up nerves in his stomach. “Anyway, what about you, Reid, when was your last hot date?” she teases, and he cannot for the life of him figure out if it’s friendly or malicious.

He flounders for only a second, cheeks heating up steadily, before Derek interjects. “Oh come on, Elle,” Derek scoffs. “Not sure Reid’s whole ‘twink aesthetic’ thing is quite what women are after, is it, pretty boy?”

Instantly, humiliation bleeds into his veins. His stomach swirls and he feels dizzy, completely out of his depth as his face reddens even further and he starts to sweat. The playful nudge that digs into his side doesn’t do anything to bring him out of the protective trance his mind’s gone into. “I--” he tries, but he’s cut off by Elle clearly growing bored of the conversation and pushing off the counter-top to leave.

She turns around for a moment as she heads towards the door, walks backwards a few steps as she delivers the final, devastating blow. “Hey, you never know, Reid,” she grins, “maybe the whole virgin genius thing will win them over instead.” She chuckles to herself as she leaves the room, door swinging closed behind her softly, leaving Derek and himself standing there in a vacuum.

Today of all days. It’s been a long time since the last time such a crushing level of humiliation was burning inside him, but he remembers the emotion like muscle memory. His body knows exactly what to do as his gut swirls and his head spins, sweat beading on his skin as though the very little self-esteem he had left is leaking steadily: the stopper that had been keeping the small amounts of confidence he had inside him degraded and dissolved by his coworker’s careless words, nothing there anymore to stop it leaking out of him.

It’s not new. But the sting is so much more visceral when it’s shocked into him by two people he considered friends and one person he was hopelessly, desperately in love with. It feels exactly like high school and university did: the toleration of his presence for intellectual reasons, for everything Spencer had to offer, but ultimately the social rejection of him as a human being when it actually came down to it. He was useful to the team for as much as he could give them. And that was it.

Derek takes a sip from his mug as Elle leaves, but he doesn’t notice Spencer’s completely frozen state until he tries to move on to another topic. “Spencer?” he asks, obviously concerned at his non-response and completely oblivious to his inner turmoil. “What’s wrong?”

He can’t find the words to respond, but he does manage to meet Derek’s eyes and he just stares at him for a few seconds before he shakes his head and looks away again. Derek’s clearly confused, but that only makes it worse. Is he overreacting? Or is Derek just truly that oblivious to the cruelty in his words, to his feelings?

Feeling the tears burning in his eyes and adamantly refusing to cry in the middle of the breakroom, he turns around and hurries to the bathroom without saying a word.

⭐️

He barricades himself into a stall and sits on the closed toilet seat as tears steadily spill down his cheeks. This is exactly the reason he hasn’t told a soul at the FBI -- how would a group of alpha personalities who were likely the most popular kids in high school, likely would have bullied him if they’d attended the same school, that he was gay?

The humiliation stings more coming from Derek. Such negative association with his sexuality had proved himself right: this was a secret he needed to keep quiet. It just hurt so badly that the man he loved seemed so dismissive, so rude about something so integral to his being, and the allusions the entire exchange had to previous traumas had him struggling for breath through the steady stream of tears.

It takes him a few minutes but he eventually manages to calm himself down. He splashes some cool water onto his heated skin and tries his hardest to breathe deeply, even though it feels almost impossible at first. Usually when he gets worked up and has a meltdown or a panic attack he’s able to talk himself out of it after he’s calmed down a little; able to rationalise and apply logic to the situation, which tends to illuminate either an overreaction or a clear path through the problem.

That coping mechanism is not applicable, though - Derek and Elle truly hurt his feelings and there’s no way around that. Instead, he just tries to push it to the edge of his mind. He thinks through the quantum physics problem he’d started at breakfast, and the logical progression through the formulas and rational reasoning he has to use brings his heart rate down and he feels at least a little calmer, even if the twisted knot of dread and grief and pain still sits heavy in his stomach.

He’s just solved the physics problem in his head when the door swings open and he can hear Derek’s signature tread on the bathroom floor. “Spencer?” he calls quietly, pausing as the door closes behind him for just a second before making his way to the end stall. “I know you’re in there.”

“I am in here,” Spencer confirms, resenting how weak and watery his voice sounds.

Derek sighs heavily. “I didn’t get it until I talked to JJ,” he admits, speaking through the door. “I was confused why you suddenly acted so strange so I asked her what she thought was up. I thought it was all friendly banter. To be honest, I didn’t even realise what I’d said until I was explaining it to her. But you gotta understand, pretty boy, I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

Spencer squeezes his eyes shut, but the tears still escape anyway, spilling down his tears in an expression of silent grief as he listens to Derek. He takes a deep breath in through his nose and swipes the tears away from his cheek with his fingertips before unlocking the door, revealing the most apologetic expression he’s ever seen. It doesn’t make him feel much better. He still meant what he said.

He smiles weakly. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, and his voice sounds so vulnerable, it’s giving him away.

Derek’s expression doesn’t ease at Spencer’s forgiveness, he doesn’t smile and consider the issue done and dusted, he frowns harder, eyes desperate. “No, don’t dismiss it,” he says. “I hurt you, and that was wrong. I shouldn’t have said what I said, and Elle shouldn’t have either, okay, kid? I’m really sorry.”

“I know, but I’m used to it,” Spencer says, trying for a light tone and missing the mark by an embarrassing amount.

“Well you shouldn’t be,” Derek frowns. “If you’re so used to it, though, then why did this affect you so much? I’ve never seen you lose your cool like that.” He looks genuinely confused, and combined with the sorrow smothered across his features, it’s a pitiful sight.

“Don’t push, Morgan,” he warns, looking back down at his hands. His back hurts from his awkward, hunched position on the cold porcelain of the toilet.

“Seriously, Spencer, I--” Derek looks completely bewildered, caught off guard by the way he clearly expected this conversation going and the road it’s actually taken.

“I’m gay, alright?” Spencer interjects, loudly. He looks up fiercely into Derek’s eyes as he says it, but the fight quickly drains out of him and he looks down at his hands again, tensing automatically in fear of his reaction.

Derek doesn’t say anything though, so when Spencer eventually looks up again, he finds a strange expression on his face. Not mild disgust or confusion or awkwardness, but relief and fear and frustration.

“Spencer, I--” He cuts himself off as he shuffles his feet and looks away, but Spencer doesn’t miss the mournful tone as he realises the true impact of his words, how they must have hurt him. “You’re gay? That’s… why my comment was so hurtful, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to imply any kind of homophobia, I mean… I’m bisexual,” he admits, the same fear Spencer had felt swirling in his stomach written on Derek’s features.

“You are?” Spencer replies, surprise colouring his tone. He feels a surge of hope rise in his chest and he forces himself to tamper it. Just because Derek likes men absolutely does not mean he likes men like Spencer. In his experience those kinds of people tend to be fairly rare. He stands up from his uncomfortable seat, meeting Derek’s eyes properly for the first time since he entered the toilets.

What he means to do is give him a hug, or maybe have some sort of conversation on a more equal playing field. He does not mean to kiss him.

But when all of a sudden Derek’s lips are on his and Derek’s hands are cradling his cheek and waist so gently, surely it would be rude not to kiss him back. So he does. Far too passionately for a public bathroom in an FBI building, by all accounts.

They break away eventually, and Derek immediately panics. Spencer can see it rise in his eyes and body language, so before he can say anything he pulls him into the stall properly, shutting the door behind them and kisses him again, more gently this time. It’s the most confident thing he thinks he’s ever done, and he’s damn proud of himself because he does not want to go another day without Derek kissing him as tenderly as he is right now, without his hands roaming up and down his sides, without the careful brush of his fingers against the side of his head as he pushes a strand of hair back behind his ear as they pull away again.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that, pretty boy,” Derek whispers, and Spencer can feel the gentle brush of his breath against his lips.

He’s lost for words again, but in a completely different way from just minutes before, and he absolutely cannot believe this is happening. Today of all days.

“Me too,” Spencer confesses, smiling slightly as he allows himself to convey the vulnerability he’s feeling on his face instead of building up a wall in front of it as he usually would. It doesn’t take long for reality to set in though. “But we are in an FBI building and we could definitely lose our jobs for this.”

“Right,” Derek acknowledges, looking up as he puts a bit more space between them, as much as the tiny stall allows. “Later, though, we could maybe do this… not in a government building?”

Spencer’s always wondered how it feels to be on the receiving end of Derek’s romantic charm and charisma, and it’s rather overwhelming. Derek’s smiling cheekily as he interlocks their hands and waits for an answer and Spencer’s finding it a little hard to breathe again.

“Like… a date?” Spencer squeaks, face flushing again -- though admittedly in a much more pleasant manner -- as he prays he hasn’t got the wrong idea.

“Yes,” Derek smiles, “like a date.” He pauses and takes a breath, grinning wider for just a second before he suppresses it slightly and looks back at Spencer. “How about… I swing by your place at 7 and we head to that new Italian place you’ve been talking about?”

“Really?” Spencer asks, face open and vulnerable and honest. He hopes to God that he’s not being mocked right now. It’s happened before. He’s not sure Derek really understands the amount of trust he’s placing in him, the burden that might bring.

“Yes, really,” Derek chuckles, bringing a hand up to rest at the side of his face again as he thumbs gently over his cheekbone. “I’m gonna wine you and dine you, baby, just you wait and see.”

Spencer knows he won’t be able to speak without squeaking embarrassingly again, so he just nods emphatically and beams at Derek.

“I’ll see you at 7, then, pretty boy,” he winks, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. “I’ll be counting down the hours.”

⭐️

Taking care to exit the toilets separately, they return to their desks, filling out the paperwork left over from their most recent case. Spencer is certain that more than one coworker picks up on their shy, knowing looks, shared over the top of coffee mugs and cheap printer paper, but he can’t find it in himself to care. The very thing he’d craved for almost three years, since he first stepped foot in the bullpen and was introduced to Derek Morgan, was within his clutches and he was going to hold on to it no matter what it cost him.

Things feel different almost immediately: ‘pretty boy’ is infinitely more affectionate, the previously platonic touches are lingering and meaningful, Derek’s completely unnecessary paperwork consults seem more affirming and reassuring than ever. The idea that he could possibly spend the rest of his life with Derek Morgan’s hands on him, his passionate kiss on his lips, his compliments and nicknames warming him from the inside out, feels almost dizzying. He knows he’s smiling stupidly, he also knows that JJ and Elle are smiling knowingly, but he just doesn’t care.

He drives himself home and dresses in his smartest suit as soon as he gets back, even though Derek isn’t due for another 30 minutes. For reasons he refuses to acknowledge, he tidies his apartment while he waits and then takes a seat on his sofa, tapping his foot in anxious anticipation. By the time he hears a knock on his door, his heart’s in his mouth and his stomach is fluttering wildly, but that all fades to irrelevancy when he locks eyes with Derek.

“Dr Reid,” he says calmly, smile providing a soft kind of light to his face and Spencer wishes he never had to look away. He passes him a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and Spencer knows enough to recognise it’s a curated bunch, not a hasty supermarket buy but a thoughtful, purposeful trip to the florist.

“Wow,” Spencer says, and he absolutely tries to fight down the emotion rising in his throat but he isn’t quite successful. He takes the offered bouquet and examines them in closer detail, tracing an index-finger along the petal of a yellow daffodil. “New beginnings,” he whispers as tears spring to his eyes. He stares at it a little longer before looking up to meet Derek’s softened, deep brown eyes. He’s still in disbelief that someone would go to the lengths of researching the language of flowers for him, knowing it was something that he liked. “Thank you.”

“New beginnings,” Derek repeats, taking another step closer, “love me, desire, wisdom, and affection returned.” He lifts a hand to rest on Spencer’s cheek again and looks deep into his eyes for just a moment, conveying all he needs to with one look, and leans in to kiss him.

⭐️

Aaaaand this is the conclusion to my 12 Fic Challenge! Thank you to everyone who supported my fics through this journey, I can’t believe all the amazing things it’s led to and I’m so happy that this is the fic to end it. I’m so excited for what’s next in store, so stay tuned! <3

@strippersenseii @criminalmindsvibez

#my writing #criminal minds #criminal minds writing #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #moreid #moreid writing #moreid fic #moreid angst #moreid fluff #derek Morgan #spencer reid #derek morgan/spencer reid #derek morgan x spencer reid

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beahasasideblog · 3 years

Text

At the Beach

My fill for the @starkerfestivals bingo card prompt 'At the Beach'! This one's a little short, so I won't be putting it on ao3.

In California, there is a town, and within that town is a cove, within which lies a small beach. The sand is coarse and dark, the kind that sticks between the treads of your shoes. The waves are dark and wild, thrashing into spindrift, into the air, and up, away from whence they came.

On this ugly beach- for, comparatively, there are many far more beautiful beaches in the state of California- there is a single, wooden staircase. This staircase is old, and worn, and tucked into the side of a hill. These steep steps are rickety, and high in number, and a strong deterrent for any who might wish to visit the cove.

A deterrent to most people- but Tony Stark isn’t like most people, is he? He stands at the edge of the tide, just close enough that the sand beneath him is packed tight from water and sediment. Sea glass shines with the final remnants of late afternoon, shimmering as the tide recedes with the day.

Tony has always loved this beach. Partly, it is for solitude. In all his years, he has never once seen another person along the stretch of sand. Who would walk down a cliff for a pathetically small beach? The other reason he loves the beach, however, is (ironically) the company he can find within it.

Small, cliffside coves, such as this one, are formed by the rising tide. As the waves crash against the side of a mountain, they wear down the walls. Eventually, after thousands of years, the cove is formed. When the tide is low, a stretch of sand is revealed. When the waves come crashing back down, all evidence of a visit is washed away.

“Tony?” A familiar voice calls out, sparkling and sharp like the sea glass crunching beneath his feet. “Did you really need to see me?”

That’s when Tony turns to look at the source of the voice, and sees him again. Peter Parker stands awkwardly to the side, with hands tucked into the pockets of his zipped jacket. His cheeks are tinged pink with the chill of the wind, painting him to look like a cherub.

“I know that you… that we agreed to stay apart from each other,” Peter continues, after not receiving a reply. His hands shift visibly in his pockets, but do not leave them. “I don’t even know why I’m here. I’m doing fine on my own, and you’re clearly doing fine, too, so you don’t need anything from me, and I might as well just leave, so I’m gonna do that before…”

“Before what?” Tony prompts, taking off his dark sunglasses and rubbing the lenses against the hem of his shirt. Even with the reveal of his red-rimmed eyes, Tony averts his gaze, as though that will mask anything. “Before Morgan follows you and sees us here?”

With that, Peter sighs. “Don’t blame this on me, Tony. I wanted to fix things, to make it work. You made the decision to break it off, because you’re so fucking stubborn. What is this, huh? Are you trying to get me to admit that I’m better off without you? Is this all some elaborate way for you to justify your own selfish actions? It’s not my fault that you keep wanting to hurt yourself!”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Tony scoffs, an aching emptiness in his chest clawing at his ribcage. “Morgan is… I’m her father, and I need to do what’s best for her, and she doesn’t… Peter, you have to understand-”

“I understand it, but that doesn’t make your reasoning sound!” Peter interjects, doing his best to make his breathing steady. “Morgan would have gotten over it, eventually! She just needed some time to understand that we actually care about each other! She would have gotten over the age thing, and she’d have learned that I’m not, what did she call me, a ‘gold-digging twink’? Or was it a ‘selfish homewrecker’?”

“It’s not my fault that she was surprised to see her best friend in bed with me!” Tony shoots back, finally forcing himself to stare his former lover in the eyes. For a moment, there is only the gentle crashing of the tide, and the strained breathing of two men with conflict within their hearts.

It is only after a long, tense moment, that Peter finally breaks the silence.

“You were never going to leave your wife, were you?” His voice is small and fragmented, shards of glass only held in a mirror’s frame by tension of their placement. He speaks with a voice so weak that a strong breeze could bring it all crashing down. “I wasn’t ever going to be.. We weren’t ever going to be anything real. I was just there to keep your bed warm.”

“Peter, you know what you mean to me,” Tony chokes, taking an unsteady step toward the other man.

The man in question pulls back in response.

“I know that you kept telling me, ‘Just a few more months, baby’,” Peter spits, his voice becoming a sharp, angry thing. “You fed me empty promises for two goddamned years, and I-I was stupid enough to believe you! And where did that get me, huh? I’ve lost my best friend, the man I love, and… And you’re untouched by the fallout.

“I have to wonder if that’s what you planned, the whole time. Maybe you just needed an excuse to throw away your old mistress and find a new one. Tony… did you ever really love me, the way I loved you?”

If this were a love story, Tony would rush across the beach, pulling his lover into his arms and whispering sweet promises. He would press sweet kisses to Peter’s face, and resolve to change for the better. To provide a life worth living together.

But this is not a love story- not because the two men are not in love. Instead, it is because, quite simply, some men believe-

“Stark men are made of iron,” Tony says quietly. “I can’t… I’m not capable of loving anyone more than I love myself. I’ve hurt you enough, already. You should go.”

“You’re not even going to deny it?”

“Why would I? Some people just aren’t… we just aren’t made to love others. All I can ever do is take.”

#starker #sfsummerbingo21 #peter parker #tony stark x peter parker #starker fic #angst #morgan stark #cheating #my fic

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graedari · 3 years

Note

Also for the character thing!! Either Maya or Godot?

Okay so!!!! (this is going under a read more since I'm gonna do both!)

Maya:

First impression

She is such a cute and lovable character! I honestly was super excited to learn about her powers and I just love her interactions with Phoenix in the trilogy. Honestly felt like she was truly a younger sister to me while I played TTwTT

Impression now

GOD I LOVE HER. She has so much depth and she's been through so much. Gosh!!!!

Favorite moment

Okay- you haven't gotten here yet Lav, since this scene is from Spirit of Justice, but I just love her talk with Rayfa about responsibility and roles you are born into and how you choose to fulfill them and make a point to do it right by your way! it just really hit me, but I also really loved Rayfa and know she needs a good role model like Maya who experienced similar stresses and expectations over being the Master of Kurain village!

Idea for a story

I would love to see a story about her rebuilding her relationships in her family. Helping shape Pearl into the person she is when she helped raise her after Morgan got put in jail; finally getting closure over Mia's death and not forgetting her memory; getting some more closure over the whole Misty thing as well; building a relationship with Iris, whom deserves to have a chance at being a better person and rejoining the Fey family; etc!

Unpopular opinion

I don't know if this is really unpopular when a majority of the people in the fandom tend to ship Narumitsu, but like, I don't really like Narumayo? I much more see them as brother/sister relationship! (But also no hate if someone does ship it! Just not how I saw their relationship while playing! I know the devs hint towards it more often than not!)

Favorite relationship

Okay, romantic wise, I am a simp for FranMaya. God I love that ship. The dichotomy of their personalities BUT THE SYMBOLISMS OF EXPECTATIONS AND LEGACIES OF THEIR FAMILIES. CHEF KISS. PLEASE CAPCOM

But I also just love the little family she created for herself with the OG trilogy team of Mia, Pearl, Phoenix, Edgeworth, Fanziska, and Gumshoe! Always makes me smile :)

Favorite headcanon

I know it's sorta canon that both her and Miles are Steel Samurai fans, but I just love the idea that the fandom collectively shared in them becoming friends almost behind Phoenix's back and are always texting about Steel Samurai stuff and I just love the relationship of Miles and Maya as sibling bantering (ALSO I WILL SOMETIMES HOP ON THE MILES IS SOMEHOW A FEY HC THAT PEOPLE WILL THROW OUT SOMETIMES)

And now...

Godot:

First impression

I was /not/ a fan. I had really grown to like Fanziska and Miles and was disappointed that they didn't carry over into the next game. His mannerisms also kinda set me off, and I didn't really like him? Just kinda rubbed me the wrong way. I know that Miles and Franziska were also mean to Phoenix during cases, but like they were charming about it? And Godot just felt a little too mean for no reason?

Impression now

I love funny coffee man. He definitely grew on me after the first case. I also deeply love the interlocking backstory between Mia, Phoenix, Dahlia, and him. I really love how complex he is and that he recognizes by the end that he was much more deeply flawed and wrong about his intentions.

Favorite moment

Anytime he mentions how many coffees he's had. Shit cracks me up.

But in all honesty. I just love the scene he's confessing about how he realized his intentions to keep Maya safe were not truly his leading ones and that he reflected how his revenge for Mia had blinded him. It just really hit me and I'm like- damn. Okay. Cool. Now I actually feel bad for him.

Idea for a story

I would love to see him maybe out of prison at some point, rehabilitated, maybe running his own coffee shop that the other's frequent. Maybe even as just a background location. Him possibly seeking out Maya to patch things up between them and then maybe even seeking out to speak to Mia with her or another medium to get his own closure as well (maybe even ask to speak to Misty to apologize for murdering her despite it being a fail-safe for their plan)

Unpopular opinion

I do not like Miego. I thought it was kinda cute to begin with, but then I kinda died off on it... I mean- I can kinda see it sometimes, but like... Idk.. I changed my mind about it I guess.

Favorite relationship

Godot x Coffee

Favorite headcanon

This is 100% from the art that @/_julia_cheesecake_ has done, but it fucking sends me anytime they draw some of the killers in jail. But just Godot interacting with Kristoph there just fucking ends me. I think they only drew it once, but at least once a month, I like to imagine that Godot calls Kristoph a twink

#graedari answers #ask: noyin #ask game: character opinion #ace attorney #maya fey #diego armando #godot #long post #tw: swearing #tw: caps

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tempestaurora · 4 years

Photo

FANDOMS: Marvel, Voltron: Legendary Defender, The 100, Harry Potter, The Raven Cycle, Community, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Umbrella Academy

NOTES:

i tagged every tumblr i could reasonably find. if you have more than one fic on this list, i have tagged you more than once. some people may be tagged like five times. i’m not sorry.

where relevant, fandoms have been split into general (platonic) centric fics, and romantic/slash fics. this is just because it’s easier than splitting it up into specific relationships.

at the end of every fic title/author line is a list of core relationships; fics are split between gen and romance depending on what relationship is considered centric. otherwise, fics are in no particular order. All fics are completed unless otherwise specified.

i added a read more because there’s over 100 fics listed here.

anyway, enjoy, thanks for the 3k followers

M A R V E L

gen centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

K.I.D. by blondsak @blondsak | Tony&Peter

summary: “Hi K.I.D. Glad you’re awake. Do you know your primary objective?”

“To always look for ways to remind Mister Stark - that’s you! - that Kindness Isn’t Dead.”

“That’s right, K.I.D. Good job.”

forty miles by peter_stank @peter-stank

summary: the one where Morgan is sick and Tony is in way over his head, so he calls his spiderson for a little bit of help. Tony&Peter

from now on by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Tony&Peter

summary: Peter’s sure that Tony and Pepper’s wedding will change everything.

Machine Wash Hot; Tumble Dry Low by alice_in_ink | Tony&Peter

summary: Do you ever fall into sewers and then need your billionaire mentor to wash your super-suit? Peter Parker does too.

Captain That by maddo | Tony&Peter

summary: Just a bunch of little anecdotes regarding our favourite spider and his Instagram account, feat. a meme-tastic Tony Stark.

Here's to all the new beginnings by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: Peter gets a job. Tony is less than pleased.

to know, to protecc, and to fuck with by peterstank and floweryfran @peter-stank @floweryfran | Tony&Peter, Natasha&Peter, Sam/May

summary: peter parker convinces the responsible adults in his life to join him on the world’s stupidest stake-out.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

i used to have nothing and then by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Clint&Natasha

summary: “Clint,” Natasha said. “You’ve got to let me go.”

“Clint,” she said, and he let her go.

the hearth by sagemb | Tony&Peter

summary: What to Do When Your Wife Is Out of the Country: A Guide by Tony Stark

1) Gain partial custody of a child 2) Sleep on the couch 3) Have the child gain partial custody of you.

Love in Ones and Zeroes by forensicleaf @forensicleaf | Tony&Peter

summary: a boy, a bot, and a bond through the years. Tony&DUM-E

call you home SERIES by Madelinedear | May&Tony, Tony&Peter

summary: sometimes family is who you're born with. and sometimes family is a spider boy, a rich not-dad, and a kickass aunt. (or; tony, may, and peter find a place in each other's lives)

Not-Uncle Tony by Jen27ny @jen27ny | Tony&Peter, Happy&Peter

summary: Happy is Peter's biological father, and Tony is there for the entire ride.

Between how it is and how it should be by frostysunflowers @frostysunflowers | Peter&Bucky, Tony&Peter, Steve&Bucky

summary: ''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''

Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''

The Unfortune Teller by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Tony&Peter

summary: A woman in a carnival booth predicts Peter's death.

all the things yet to come (are the things that have passed) by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Peter&Morgan, Tony&Peter

summary: The first time Peter sees Morgan is at the funeral.

tony and peggy’s big day out! by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Peggy

summary: “What’s happened this time?”

“Just a bombing,” says Peggy.

“At three in the afternoon?” says Jarvis. “Frankly, how rude.”

Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst @ambivalentmarvel | Flash&Peter, Tony&Peter

summary: Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all.

aiding and abetting: a peter parker saga by floweryfran and peterstank @floweryfran @peter-stank | Peter&Avengers

summary: 5 times peter parker runs into the rogues separately + the 1 time they work together as a team.

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man (and friends) by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Harley&Peter, Harley&Tony

summary: in an attempt to help Harley beef up his college apps, Tony offers Harley a remote Stark Industries internship to help Spider-Man. It easily becomes his worst nightmare.

Allston Christmas by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter, Tony&Peter&Rhodey

summary: “You guys didn’t have to do this,” Peter says from where he sits squeezed into the middle seat of the U-Haul, sweat running down his back. The air-conditioning in the truck they’ve rented is broken, and even with the windows rolled down it’s hellishly hot inside.

“We wanted to,” Tony replies as he blasts the horn at a minivan with a “Harvard Mom” bumper sticker that is attempting to cut into his lane.

so happy together by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Ben

summary: ben parker calling tony stark a twink for 13k words

LONG (20K+)

An Unofficial Introduction to the Avengers SERIES by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so @isnt-it-pretty-to-think-so-tr | Tony&Peter

summary: The Avengers meet Spiderman via the online world, and then meet Peter Parker in Stark's living room. It takes them longer than it should to put two-and-two together.

what is and will be (is you and me) by momentofmemory @momentofmemory | May&Peter

summary: 5 times May was there for Peter, +1 time he was there for her.

dear mr. fantasy by iron_spider @iron--spider | Tony&Peter

summary: He grits his teeth and turns around, and before he can even begin to trudge over towards Peter’s room, he’s stopped in his tracks. By a door. In the middle. Of the living room.

“Well that’s new,” he says, still rooted to the spot.

timshel SERIES by justanotherblond @blondieewritess | Bucky&Peter, Steve/Bucky

summary: The soldier doesn’t remember his son’s birth or how he came to be. He doesn’t remember bedding a woman and watching her belly swell, but they said the boy was his. He does know that he will protect and teach the boy within the confines of their cell walls. Even when the handlers berate him. Even when the good guys take him away.

odd couple buddies SERIES by bysine | Peter&Bucky, Sam&Thor, Tony&Peter

summary: "You know you're not supposed to call him the Winter Soldier any more, right?" Peter says, while they handcuff him to a pipe. A pipe. "Also this whole thing is kind of messing up my schedule. My two overdue papers won't exactly write themselves."

i understand (i’m a liability) by floweryfran @floweryfran | Harley&Tony, Harley&Peter

summary: “I… am not being challenged in the right ways here,” Harley says slowly, carefully.

“Then move here,” Tony says, and Harley’s heart drops straight into his feet.

Roundabout by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: In which Peter attempts to survive long enough to graduate, Tony moonlights as a semi-professional party planner, and absolutely nothing goes according to plan.

Uncle Steve's Fix-it Freelance Gig (and friends) SERIES by whowhotellsyourstory | Steve&Morgan, Tony&Steve, Bucky&Peter

summary: "You ever need help, and I'm not there-""Why wouldn't you be there?""You call Uncle Steve."

notes: probably my favourite post endgame fix it fic/series in existence

Dumpster Fires Verse SERIES by deniigiq @deniigi | Peter&Wade&Matt

summary: A collection of Team Red stories because they are all hot messes. Except Peter. Two-Thirds of them are hot messes.

Impression, Sunrise by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter&Morgan

summary: In Peter Parker's eyes, Morgan Stark is a lot of things: a terrible pancake chef, a top notch negotiator, the world's cutest six-year old. But above all, she is his family. He hopes he's enough.

The Room Where It Happens by notapartytrick @notaparty-trick | Tony&Peter

summary: At 7:36 pm on the 12th of May 2016, Tony Stark is put in the Room.

A twelve-by-twelve-foot shed, soundproofed, double locked. It becomes his home. It has to be, because there’s nowhere else.

At 4:22 pm on the 15th of June 2017, Peter Parker is put in the Room.

They make a living under duress, fearing at every moment the entry of their captor. Confinement halts their lives in their tracks, changes them both for good: breaks them and brings them together simultaneously.

“If someone has everything they need, but nobody, do they have everything? Or nothing?”

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

written in the star(war)s by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter/Michelle

summary: Michelle looks at the nurse one more time, and despite the evidence, asks, “Are you sure it’s twins?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” the nurse points them out again. “One boy, and one girl. Due...May 4th.”

It only takes Michelle 2.3 seconds to realize the horror of that sentence.

Steve Rogers is (Not) A Good Influence by stevergrsno @stevergrsno | Steve/Bucky, Steve&Peter

summary: Steve Rogers' American Tour Of Waiting For His Brainwashed Boyfriend To Come Back And Blowing Up Hydra is interrupted when Tony Stark dumps Peter Parker into his lap.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Steve/Tony, Steve/Tony/Bucky

summary: It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again.

Soft Spot for the Hell Raisin' Boy by ifeelbetter @ifeelbetterer | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier takes an interest in Sam Wilson. Bucky Barnes wants to tell him how to be Steve Rogers's best friend.

Cat’s Cradle by Traincat @traincat | Peter/Felicia

summary: The test was positive.

Felicia tilted it idly this way and that, sitting on the bathroom floor with her back against the cupboard. The floors and the counter tops were marble, and the shower door was glass. Every one of Felicia’s moves seemed to echo in the large room, even though she knew that she was making no sound.

The test was positive. She didn’t bother to check the box to make sure she’d gotten the little symbols right. She’d known before she took it.

“Well,” she breathed out, tilting her head back to inspect the ceiling. “Damn, Spider.”

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

cross this river to the other side by defcontwo | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1943, the Howling Commandos wrote goodbye letters to be given to their loved ones in the event of their deaths.In 2014, Sharon Carter finds those letters in a tin can in an abandoned HYDRA base.

Tony Stark Googled The Thing by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Tony/Pepper, Tony&Peter

summary: When Morgan is six months old, Pepper goes back to work and Tony takes over as stay-at-home dad. Discovering the mommyblogosphere is the inevitable next step.

Winter Soldier Program by NocturneByChopin | Steve/Bucky

summary: Here’s the thing: he’s got a bit of a secret. It involves a boy that went and became famous when Steve wasn’t looking.

i was found and now i don't roam these streets by hipsterchrist | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky relearns himself and how to be on a team, the rest of the Avengers try to get answers, and everyone watches too much Criminal Minds.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Michelle/Peter, Michelle&Happy, Tony&Peter

summary: Ever since her mother died a few years back, Michelle's relationship with her father became strained in their grief. One night, after she's forced to show up at Peter's covered in bruises and in need of stitches, she remembers that even the most unsuspecting dormant volcanoes can erupt.

Brooklyn by togina @toli-a | Steve/Bucky

summary: "Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk | Steve/Bucky

summary: Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.

Project: Get Bucky Barnes a Dog by ruxian | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky Barnes does not have a dog. Bucky Barnes does not want a dog. Sam thinks that should change. Bucky does not agree.

On My Radar by sprinkle_of_cinnamon | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier first noticed it when he was on the helicarrier.

The blonde’s shoulders were broad, incredibly broad.

They stretched the blue uniform in a wide span, drawing down to a narrow waist. It was a distinctly triangular silhouette. It was entirely improbable. And somehow it was strangely familiar.

The Winter Soldier raised his gun and fired. He didn’t have time for distractions, or Steve Rogers’ shoulders.

LONG (20k+)

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter @praximeter | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

notes: may i say a massive fucking HOLY SHIT??????????? incredible. iconic. life-changing.

United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices and radialarch | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Associated Press @AP Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE

Bucky Barnes: Former Disney Channel Star SERIES by mambo @whtaft | Steve/Bucky

summary: "The question the entertainment world is asking themselves today is... Who is Steve? Hollywood superstar Bucky Barnes was spotted at a wrap-party last night, serenading someone named Steve onstage.”

Not Easy Conquered SERIES by dropdeaddream and WhatAre Fears | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore.

In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter.

In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

notes: if you’ve read stucky, you’ve read this series. i know this. just like i know that its the most GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL series ever written. no topping it. it’s number 1.

Strays by snarklyboojum @snarklyboojum | Steve/Bucky

summary: After finding himself alone for the first time in decades, the Winter Soldier learns how to be a person again. Mostly through caring for an orphaned kitten, countless rounds of YouTube roulette, and stalking Captain America.

hold me until we crumble by queenklu @queenklu | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

notes: one of my favourite standalone fics i’ve ever read

half awake in a fake empire SERIES by idrilka | Steve/Bucky

summary: In the aftermath of Steve's return to the world of the living and the battle of New York, the academia and the Internet react.

by the river potomac i sat down and wept by peterstank @peter-stank | Steve/Bucky

summary: bucky barnes atones.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell SERIES by AnnaFugazzi | Steve/Bucky

summary: Captain America and Bucky Barnes were like brothers. Everyone knew that.

Out of the Dead Land by orphaned account | Steve/Bucky

summary: Someone is building machines that look and act like people.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.

V O L T R O N: L E G E N D A R Y D E F E N D E R

romance centric fics

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

called out your name (but it was too late) by arahir @arahir | James/Keith, Shiro/Keith

summary: An old classmate watches Keith fall in love with someone else.

so much for the after party by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: Shiro gets his groove back.

i breathe disaster by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: After the wedding, Keith leaves Earth in search of something he can keep.

notes: what doES THIS M E AN?!!!??!!?!?! i cried over this ending. i cr i e d. actual real tears. it was so upsetting somehow. and i am so confused. and i went and found the author’s imagined ending in the comments to help understand the open one and it just made me SADDER. i think this is one of those fics that tries to teach me to read the tags and back away at the word “angst”. anyway, excellent, everything i’ve read from this author was incredible

LONG (20K+)

Alien Sex Fiend by Glossolalia | Shiro/Keith | WIP

summary: It started at a drive-in in the 1980s. Unfortunately, this is a love story; a love story about the frontman of Quantum Queef, a punk band, and a boy who rides a red motorcycle. Also, they fight aliens.

notes: i’m OBSESSED with this fic. i have read it many times. shiro as a punk singer of a band called Quantum Queef????????? and the fact that it’s the only fic on this account???? absolute POWER MOVE.

T H E 1 0 0

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

golden gunned girls by littlearrows | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: They’re not good girls. They have no reason to be.

notes: i think about this fic approximately twice a week despite reading it five years ago. there’s a song called gold gun girls by metric that makes me absolutely feral and would be the dream theme song for the intro sequence of the girl gang tv show of my dreams

and then my soul saw you by synchronicities | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Lexa tells Clarke that love within the cluster is the worst kind of narcissism. Bellamy begs to differ. Sense8 AU.

givers prove unkind by emullz | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: a modern au in which bellamy is in a band, he writes an album about clarke, and she is his ophelia. also, marriage.

she sounds like sex on the radio by lecornergirl | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Wait, hold on,” Clarke says. “Are you suggesting I—in the booth?” But her tone is a lot sterner than she feels. Against her better judgement, she’s into it.

notes: idk what to tell you. i have only bookmarked like three smut fics in my life. it deserves it ok.

the kids aren’t alright by opensummer | Multiple Relationships

summary: The Pacific Rim fusion seven ways.

notes: probably???? my favourite? pacific rim au? i’ve ever read??? does so much with so little

Haven’t You Heard? The World is Coming To An End by Jenye @likcoln-blog | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: So where would you rather die? Here or in Jaeger? Pacific Rim AU.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

three points (where two lines meet) SERIES by PinkCanary | Bellamy/Clarke/Raven

summary: Clarke wears the two names on her skin like a badge of honour.

Icarus Lives by karusarchive @cluelesskaru | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: No one could ever have predicted the kaiju were coming. Clarke Griffin was in need of a new Co-Pilot. Bellamy Blake had just graduated. You can guess how that goes.

notes: if anyone knows me at all, they know i’m a MASSIVE pacific rim fan. like, own all the books and graphic novels and have multiple pacrim t-shirts kind of fan. THIS FIC was my first experience with that franchise. my first ever. i watched the movie BECAUSE of this fic.

Pony Regrets SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Octavia drags Bellamy to a My Little Pony tournament. Bellamy is deeply upset about the whole thing, but then the girl running the tournament is really cute.

The Internet Is Forever SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Apparently, the internet has been shipping Bellamy Blake (of Team Arkade) and Clarke Griffin (of Craven Cosplay). No one told Bellamy about it.

Nothing Like Old Times by LayALioness @filmnoirsbian | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Clarke killed some guy and stuffed him in the trunk,” Jasper says delightedly. “Your cousin’s dark, dude.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy nods, trying to backtrack. Sometimes he wishes she was actually better at making things up. “She’s a…closeted Goth.” Terminator AU.

the feel-good hit of the summer by disco_vendetta @errorofyourways | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake are sleeping together. (aka ROCK BAND AU)

notes: i think about this fic an OBSCENE amount. it’s been five years since i first read it.

LONG (20K+)

Your Mess Is Mine by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: modern AU, Clarke grows up with Octavia, and Octavia's brother.

notes: the fic that got me into fan fic in the first place. top tier. 42k.

Love Will Come Through by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: AU. Clarke winds up in an arranged marriage with Bellamy.

Neeeeeeeeeerds by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke joins the Junior Classical League for two reasons: to appease her mother and to annoy Bellamy Blake.

Our Time Now SERIES by TazmainianDevil | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: The Ark may have been short on all resources vital to sustaining life but one thing they never ran out of was guns.On an Ark that has always been defined by violence, Jake Griffin manages to save his daughter's life and Clarke joins a gang to change the world.

Disney Channel You by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Bellamy only goes to the open casting for Clarke Griffin's new Disney Channel show because Octavia begs him. He never thought he'd actually get the stupid part.

And You Understand Now Why They Lost Their Minds and Fought the Wars by marauders_groupie @marauders-groupie | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke doesn’t understand why they say that soulmates are one soul in two bodies. Her soul has five other bodies and she would give her life for any of them. Sense8 AU.

notes: probably my favourite sense8 AU i’ve ever read?? and i have read Many

build this fire higher, higher toward the sky SERIES by adelicatepeach | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke's jaeger goes down on a Thursday. Pacific Rim AU.

H A R R Y P O T T E R

gen centric fic

LONG (20K+)

yer a wizard, dudley by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Dudley&A Lot of People

summary: Minerva fished in her pocket without looking, because the only things allowed in her pockets were only ever exactly what she needed. “I've come to deliver this,” she said, “because Hogwarts by-laws require a professor to hand-deliver acceptance letters to Muggleborn families for their explanation and comfort."

notes: i have only ever cared about two harry potter fics in my life. this is one of them.

the family evans by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Petunia&A Lot of People

summary: What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in?

notes: this is the other one

T H E R A V E N C Y C L E

gen centric fic

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

Helter Skelter by Anonymous | Ronan&Blue

summary: In hindsight, a road trip with your step-brother and his best friends in Gansey's dying Pig is not an ideal way to start summer break. Sargent-Lynch siblings AU.

meet hennessy by izzylizardborn @gaybluesargent | Hennessy&Jordan

summary: Hennessy had seen movies. She knew how this went. When it came to clones, there was always a good one and an evil one. She didn’t need to wonder which was which.

life is not a movie, maybe by coyotesuspect | Ronan&Blue

summary: Ronan gets kicked out of Aglionby and enrolls at Mountain View High for his senior year. The only problem is, no one remembers to tell Blue.

Honeymoon by vexmybones | Ronan&Blue

summary: Blue and Ronan living together, no buffers, no bullshit, this is how they cope.

the bugs and alphabet by Pi @rhea314 | Ronan&Blue

summary: In which Blue babysits Chainsaw, Ronan & Blue make angry art projects, and some conversations are almost had.

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

Pretty Good, Right? by suddensingularity | Ronan/Blue

summary: Blue wants to have sex before her true love dies. Ronan helps out. Ronan/Blue

notes: yeah ok this is one of the three smut fics i’ve bookmarked its fun ok

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

It Had To Be You by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam

summary: Ronan hates basically everything about their business, or that's what he tells Blue, but the worst part is that he's constantly meeting cute guys and none of them are single.

darling, don’t make such a drama by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam, Ronan&Henry, Ronan&Declan

summary: "Straight answers are boring," Cheng says, "and yes I do mean that for all values of straight. I do not need Ronan to share his tragic backstory, I would much rather deduce it on my own."

"Who says I have a tragic backstory?"

"With your fearsome glower and troubled good looks? If you did not have a tragic backstory it would be a waste."

C O M M U N I T Y

romance centric fic

LONG (20k+)

Playing House by itsactuallycorrine @itsactuallycorrine | Jeff&Annie

summary: Six years ago, Jeff let Annie go. She never returned to Greendale, and he moved on. Now, he's a single dad to a one-year-old and he needs her help.

A V A T A R: T H E L A S T A I R B E N D E R

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

call it dreaming by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Gaang

After the war, Toph has nightmares. The screeching of metal, Sokka and Suki's screams, the snap of Sokka's leg as it broke from their fall. It's usually his confession that they aren't going to make it that makes her wake up in a cold sweat. She's anxious all the time now, unable to find peaceful sleep.

The cure is apparently to try and hold all of her friends hands for all hours of the days and hope that they're cool with it.

what’s in a name by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Sokka

summary: At her request, Sokka teaches Toph to write her name.

He learns a thing or two about the weight his own name holds in the process.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

the beginning of a new and brighter birth by aloneintherain @captainkirkk | Zuko&Gaang

summary: “I’m so proud of you, my nephew.” Uncle cups Zuko’s face in his lined hand. The gesture is so tender, his palm so warm, that Zuko has to take a fortifying breath against the sudden swell of emotion in his chest.

“I want to be a good leader, Uncle,” Zuko says. “I want to look after my people.”

“You will,” Uncle says. “You are, nephew.”

In a new era of peace, Zuko works to be a very different Fire Lord than his forefathers.

the scope of blindness series by littlelionlady @thelittlelionlady | Toph&Gaang

summary: There are just some things that Toph's feet can't see.

Her hands can though.

Or, Toph learns what her friends look like by tracing their faces.

notes: geniunely how goddamn beautiful is this. like. i cried. this is so soft and so cute and it made me feel SO MANY things

All The Gentle Creatures by Haircrescendo @sword-and-stars | Iroh&Zuko

It’s said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. Zuko may be loud and stubborn and sharp but all the woodland creatures love him.

LONG (20K+)

The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris | Zuko&Gaang

summary: Some people are born with soulmarks. Zuko has them, but his grandfather burned them off because they "make you weak."

Team Avatar has a few things to say about that.

such selfish prayers by andromeda3116 @andromeda3116 | Katara&The Fire Nation, Katara/Zuko

Katara's ambition, so long set aside for the good of others, breaks free and sets fire to her soul. Or, Katara has a vision of her canon future, casts it aside, and becomes a world-changing politician instead.

and love will be your teacher SERIES by Ford_Ye_Fiji @ford-ye-fiji | Iroh&Zuko

summary: "And you will know the pain of losing a firstborn son." Ozai loses Zuko. Iroh gains a son. And the future changes.

notes: excellent excellent excellent excellent makes me very happy indeed

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

on commitment by jdphoenix | Zuko/Katara

summary: “Just explain it to me again.”

“There is no way you can pass as my brother and we are way too conspicuous as two unrelated people, from different nations, traveling together. So we’re pretending to be married.”

we hold our hearts in silence by psychedelic_aya | Zuko/Katara

summary: Seventy years later, Korra tries to figure out Zuko and Katara.

oracle bones by orphaned account | Zuko/Katara

summary: The foreign, pictorial characters that bracelet Zuko's left wrist have never been covered in any of his lessons. He cannot read them. And then he turns thirteen, and his father burns his wrist along with his face.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

late nights/early mornings SERIES by shmulia @shmuliawrites | Zuko/Katara

summary: Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara’s shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless.

the thing about dancing by anodymalion | Sokka/Zuko

summary: The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

LONG (20K+)

Fate Deferred by catie_writes_things @catie-does-things | Zuko/Katara | WIP

summary: Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. He awakens to a very different world.

The Sparrowkeet SERIES by audreyii_fic | Zuko/Katara

summary: Ba Sing Se has fallen and Katara has been captured by the Fire Nation; a more adult take on the potential progression of S3. AU series of interconnected one-shots.

notes: i would die for this series, particularly the last instalment. i enjoyed every single fic and it was just such a GOOD STORY.

T H E U M B R E L L A A C A D E M Y

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

you from yesterday by questors (sieges) @softpunks | Five&Siblings

summary: The difference between who his siblings once were versus who they are now.

Ghost Math by pinstripedJackalope | Five&Klaus

summary: Number Five needs a new hobby now that the apocalypse is off. He decides to help Klaus--and in turn maybe he'll help himself.

Then There Was Two by AnneKatherine | Five&Vanya

summary: Reginald Hargeeves finally decides to allow Grace to name the Academy. Unfortunately, he's only willing to let her name the Academy, which Seven is unfortunately not a part of.

[or how Five gave away his name]

(he definitely didn't want one anyway)

i tiresias (have foresuffered all) by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes | Five&Siblings, Five/Delores

summary: Five misses sharing his birthday, but Five has missed a lot of things.alternatively; number five, coffee, and the art of taking back.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

The Five Vetting Process by jaz_hop | Five&Siblings

summary: In which Five is incredibly invested in the love lives of his siblings, because they're obviously too stupid to choose anyone worthy enough to be their partner. Otherwise known as Five being stupidly over-protective, and incredibly invasive in the hopes of keeping his siblings safe and happy... even if he is being a stalker and a dick about it.

LONG (20K+)

You and I Together Forever SERIES by Ace_of_Spades_400 @ace-of-spades-400 | Vanya&Siblings

summary: What if it hadn't only been Five, what if it hadn't been Five at all?

A series of stories about what would have happened if Vanya had chosen a different sibling.

Sometimes the choice isn't hers.

Timeliness 1-2.1 SERIES by dgalerab | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: As the world ends, Five takes his siblings back into their child bodies on the day he originally left. With the knowledge of how the world ends fresh in their minds, the Hargreeves siblings do what they can to leave clues for their past selves on how to grow up a little less fucked up before returning to the present.

A present where they all have different lives they can't remember, there's a fun new apocalypse on the way, and Reginald Hargreeves remembers the day where all his children suddenly and inexplicably lost their minds and all respect for him at once a little too well.

Rare Birds SERIES by Cryptix23 | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: An alternate 2019 brings with it new problems and new dangers.

The two sets of Hargreeves children mix like water on a greasefire. It's hard to tell which group is unhappier about the situation -- the Sparrows, trying to navigate the minefield of their new siblings' many traumas, or the Umbrellas, trying to carve their place back into a world that forgot them.

Plus the whole saving-the-world thing hanging over them all.

Whether they like it or not, they're going to have to learn to work together.

Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale | Diego&Klaus

summary: Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.

#marvel #tua #atla #hp #the 100

119 notes · View notes

worstloki · 4 years

Text

Part 3

Fury: I cannot believe the Avengers No. 1 unattainable criminal right now is a seventeen-year-old twink Clint: I can’t believe you’re calling Loki a twink Tony: I can’t believe he's been the legal godparent of kids his own age for months and I didn't realise Steve: You didn’t get him removed? I thought you made Rhodey their legal godparents instead?? Tony: nah I removed Thor Natasha: ?? why would anyone do that ?? Fury, having a breakdown: we nearly lost New York and the entire world to a 16-year-old twink with daddy issues Clint: yoU just did it aGAIN- Tony, the only actual Avenger who knows Loki isn’t actually evil™: heY! Daddy issues are a serious thing! Don’t make fun of the guy for having a crisis and finding out his life was a lie and he’d faced over a millennium of abusive environment for nothing! Avengers: are you… defending Loki… the megalomaniac WAR CRIMINAL who turned every SHIELD facility into ice cream earlier today…? Tony, hands up in surrender: I’m saying maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge the guy. I wouldn't be able to guess what but maybe he had an ulterior reason for the New York fiasco? His normal stuff is usually harmless. Avengers: ... Tony: What? It could’ve been much worse. Strange, rolling his eyes: Yes, at least it wasn’t Stark Raving Hazelnuts Loki, who has been standing at the back listening to the entire conversation: That flavour is way too chalky to suit SHIELD anyways [everyone turns to Loki with their weapons ready, except Tony of course] Loki, raising his hands in surrender: what? A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge is way better, and its green, and for some reason they didn’t have a Loki flavour so that was the next best option-

---

Loki: hey Morgan what would you say if i offered you an officially evil part-time job with decent pay and extremely good evil workplace benefits? Morgan: do you offer evil dental? Loki: of course?? we also have A-Grade coffee 24/7 because top class extremely good evil deserves only the best Morgan: Excellent! I look forward to working with your evil team and being a part of your nefarious schemes and plots in future Loki: Thank you. Tomorrow we replace all Tony's vehicles with incredibly realistic wax models. Morgan: ...including the jets? Loki, scoffing: what kind of amateur villains would we be if we left his jets, boats, bikes and single vintage helicopter untouched Tony: its 4am can you maybe not have this conversation right next to me in my own workshop?!

---

Tony: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD REPLACE THEM WITH WAX MODELS Morgan: What kind of low-grade predictable villainous evil doers would we be if we did what we said we would Tony: oh $#!^ now you're speaking like him too Loki, cutting his shoulder to reveal cake: Just so you know, it wasn’t JUST the vehicles ;)

---

Peter: *following loki around with a notepad* Loki: Terribly sorry if you mind but he's MY intern now. Tony: You don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, do you? Loki: I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is wrong Peter: *avidly taking notes and nodding along*

---

T’challa: I cant believe you filed an application for ‘time off’ Shuri: I NEED at least 3 hours a week reserved specifically for training if I want to keep my part-time job T’challa: you don’t NEED a job! You make up 90% of Wakanda’s research and development departments! Your technology work IS a job! Shuri: yeah well my ACTUAL job is fun and has proper work benefits and I simply must empty the time blocks I specified for it! You wouldn’t stop me from meeting with Peter and Morgan would you? They ARE, legally and spiritually speaking, my siblings, brother :) T’challa: what job could you have that would need you reminding me that a mischief deity adopted you before telling me what the job actually is Shuri: The official position is called Secretary of Evil but that’s only for the probationary 2 week period and I’m allowed to request a name change if I think of anything better T’challa: T’challa: you are working as a SECRETARY?! Shuri: The job pays well, Brother, T'challa: T'challa: mother will be so disappointed

---

Scott: I can’t believe you did that Maggie: I didn’t know he was a supervillain! OBVIOUSLY! Scott: how would you noT KNOW! He wears nothing buT LEATHER and BELTS and GREEN BOOTS AND- Maggie: I needed someone to watch her and she showed up in pink sweatpants and a black tank top and was charging a decent rate Scott: Scott: are you sure their name was loki

---

Clint: you told me it was a ‘family gathering’! Tony: yeah, it is, and the avengers are family Clint, pointing at Loki: so what’s the twink doing here and why are MY kids along with every other person here who is under drinking age clinging to him like a frickin’ koala bear Tony: morgan wanted to get her ‘the floor is lava’ badge and loki was the only one immune to the lava so they jumped him - and he enjoyed walking around covered in them way more than he should have - and also loki is legally peter and morgan and harley and shuri’s godparent so he’s allowed to be here on more of a basis than anyone else here at this point Clint: There was LAVA near MY KIDS?! Tony: no of course not – it was FAKE lava that just looked and functioned like real lava Clint: im taking them all home Tony: good luck convincing them not to want another playdate Clint: this isn’t a joke Tony Tony: I’m serious. Good luck. The kids love him, and you’ll need all the luck you can get if you want them to ever root for the side of good instead of wherever-loki-is-at instead.

---

Pepper: *watching the news* Pepper: oh hey the Avengers are on Peter, running into the room: woW NICE Pepper: wtf why is Hulk wearing giant boxing gloves Peter: Language! Pepper: is Steve's shield padded?! Peter: i don’t remember that being normal Pepper: did most of the Avengers just ditch Steve? Why’re they leaving Peter: I guess the danger must be over? Pepper: WHAT is going ON out there today Peter: I think Loki had planned an attack today so maybe he did it as a joke Pepper: oh they're facing Loki yeah okay that explains it Peter: Loki always does the funniest things of course he baby-proofed all the Avenger's gear! Classic Loki! :D

-meanwhile-

Captain America, tears streaming down his face: pl,,ease, loki,, stop,t his, I cant hit ,,a child Loki: Look at you, the American icon, unable to save all these innocent people from having their skin turn into primary colours, all because you are TOO AFRAID to fight me! Captain America: I’m a national icon, not a good soldier but a good man, I will do whatever it takes to keep innocents safe, but I can NOT beat up someone who isn’t even legal enough to vote Loki: I was around causing chaos before this ‘voting’ was even invented! And I’ll NEVER legally vote even if I could!! mwahahAHAHA- Falcon, to Bucky in the background: How did we not realise he was a teen, all his comebacks are ‘no u’ and ‘uno reverse card’ and ‘look over there!’ Bucky, to Falcon: I don’t know but I really really want to know where he gets his outfits from Falcon: if it means I’ll be seeing you geared up in leather again then I want to know where he gets his outfits from too ;‘) Thor: I think my brother makes his own outfits Loki, still tormenting Captain America: *SISTER Thor: ah, my bad Captain America, crying x2: wait does this mean I’ve been lobbing my shield at not just a child, but I’ve been misgendering them while doing it?! Loki: only occasionally and I don’t blame you that was on me for monologuing too long, really— Captain America, taking off the helmet: nope I’m done Loki: what are you doing Steve, handing Sam the shield: It’s yours. Enjoy. Sam: woah woah woah what’re you doing you cant retire just like that Steve, unzipping his suit to reveal American flag boxers: watch me Bucky to Sam: hello new best friend Sam, realising that Cap and Bucky are a duo: oh no no no STEVE is your best friend Bucky: he hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ since I saw him with the American flag splayed over his butt Loki, holding his hand out for Sam to shake: Hello there new Captain America its nice to meet you formally, my name is Loki and yes I’m a child but I’m actually 1075 but that is irrelevant if I’m causing trouble and looking for a fight, I’m also genderfluid so yes sometimes my pronouns will be different but I’ll be sure to inform you if it happens Sam: what are you doing Loki: I’m… formally introducing myself Sam: Sam: why?? Loki, blinking to hide that he’s getting teary eyed: well, the last national icon I didn’t do this with ditched me because I didn’t Bucky, a trained assassin, who isn’t a fool: *hugs loki* that wasn’t your fault steve just likes to carry the stupid with him Loki: thanks Bucky: is this a bad time to ask where you get your clothes from…? Loki: I make them Bucky: oh. Well $#!^. Loki, sniffing: if you join the dark side I’ll make you some too Bucky, immediately: done. Sam: JAmES Bucky deadpan: Yes, Samuel, what is it that troubles you, my new arch nemesis?

---

Sam: HE TOOK BUCKY Natasha: What do you mean ‘he took bucky’ he’s standing right next to you Sam: He’s “infiltrating the enemy” Natasha: *lifts an eyebrow and looks to Bucky* Bucky: It’s true. My loyalties lie elsewhere now. Natasha: ??? Bucky: note to self – unexpected outcomes confuse the black widow. Natasha: how did this happen?? Sam: he SOLD himself out to the ENEMY Natasha: well when you say it like THAT ;) — Bucky: I think friendship is a decent price to pay for decent clothing Natasha: ??? Sam: oh also I’m Captain America now because Steve broke down and quit Natasha: ?!?!?!

---

Peter, entering the room and high-fiving Loki: I heard you got Mr. Bucky to switch teams! Loki: well, my fashion skills ARE legendary Tony, under his breath: he’s not even trying and he’s gotten every kid and the freaking winter soldier on his side and I am so so grateful he isn’t actually TRYING to make everyone go bad

---

Bucky: we’ve been over this Steve, Loki is young but he’s also over a thousand years old Steve: I was beating up a KID, Bucky, a kid who was SMALLER and WEAKER than everyone else where he lived but wouldn’t EVER turn down a FIGHT for what he BELIEVES IN and he was probably BULLIED and I wanted the guy DEAD, Bucky– Bucky: don’t forget the genderfluidity thing Steve: he said it wasn’t my fault but I should’ve asked Thor after he referred to Loki as ‘she’ instead of thinking he’d made a mistake and I just can’t – he isn’t even old enough to DRIVE or VOTE or DRINK or BUY A KNIFE or -- Bucky, holding Steve and patting his back: hey now, there, there, it’ll be okay, Bucky: *gives Loki a thumbs up as he sits on the couch with popcorn and watches Steve be miserable*

---

Loki: We need to get through this locked door. Tony, quick, give me your card! Tony, handing the card over: Take it! Loki, pocketing it: Thanks! Morgan, fire at the door Morgan: *pulls out an iron man gauntlet painted green and gold* Tony: hOW COULD you deface YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT with GREEN Morgan: MINE is still being used as a paperweight. This is one of YOUR gauntlets. Tony, under his breath: maybe it’s not too late to burn the physical evidence and hack Loki’s name off the digital copies of the adoption forms Loki, whispering back: oh its definitely too late. I’m already on your christmas card and everything.

#LokiAdoptsAU #where all the kids can enjoy loki tormenting the world because its funny and no one actually ends up seriously injured ever #loki is about mischief and chaos not death and destruction #the avengers don't know why the kids are attached #tony knows that loki isn't evil but so far Shuri and Peter and MJ and Ned and Cassie are the only ones who know about the torture #because everyone else is an *d*ot #watch as loki cajoles the avengers to his side 1-by-1 with the promise of good coffee decent prankster material and custom leather outfits #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS

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sophiamcdougall · 4 years

Text

EXPLAINING SANREMO

(PART TWO) I am back. I have barely eaten or slept and Tumblr has tried to murder me and this post multiple times, but I have survived. Thank you for your patience.

Part One of my attempt to explain the seismic experience that is 2020 Sanremo Festival of Italian Song is here.

Ready? I assure you, you are not, but let’s proceed. So Sanremo rages pitilessly on. Now everyone knows what’s at stake, and everyone, including your humble recapper, is exhausted, but doing the gay/chaotic best they can.

As the final battle to save Amadeus, Rancore, Italy and THE WORLD approaches, Achille Lauro has a last message for the troops. And I’m not deducing this, he literally said it on Twitter.

...Hold me I’m scared.

Meanwhile (sort of) (go with it) (time isn’t real at Sanremo) a minor drama has occurred offstage. Singer Tiziano Ferro made an ill-advised joke about Fiorello’s interminable comedy bits, some idiots on Twitter ran away with it, and poor Fiorello was upset! This is minuscule in Sanremo terms. But consider the flapping of a butterfly’s wings. Consider hurricanes. But who is Tiziano Ferro?

Hold on. We’ll get to it. For now ...

Fiorello is dancing seductively for an absolutely delighted Amadeus while dressed as a rabbit. And wearing a blonde wig. Is there a rational explanation for this? I mean, sort of. But also no.

And then he worries Amadeus might give him herpes, which causes Amadeus to freaking snap.

“No, no!” yells the mercurial Fiorello. Amadeus isn’t worthy of his kisses yet. He ricochets out of Amadeus’s arms and into the audience and “passes on” the kiss to a guy in the front row.

“Incredible things are going to happen tonight!” yells Amadeus, who has no fucking idea. ”Beautiful things,” corrects Fiorello.

But just because Fiorello is a mayhem elemental on a mission of love doesn’t mean he hasn’t got feelings.

Enter Italy’s sweetheart, Tiziano Ferro.

Actually, Tiziano’s been there all along. He’s the specialest of special guests, singing through basically his entire back catalogue every night. Which why it really was unfair of him to pick on Fiorello -- it’s not his fault he’s literally got to stand there and babble nonsense for aeons on end, Tiziano! He’s just serving the hungry chthonic entity that is Sanremo, same as you.

While the gay mayhem (the gayhem, if you will) surges around him, Tiziano has been fighting the good gay fight in his own steadfast way, so far untouched. His mere presence is a message of hope in itself, he knows this, and is determined to make it count. Ten years ago he was closeted, convinced coming out would end his career, and suicidal. Now happily married and gloriously successful, he is here to demonstrate that “it gets better”. He radiates such wholesome joy and resilience that everyone loves him.

So anyway, Tiziano didn’t mean to hurt anybody because he would never, and now he wants to make things right. So will Fiorello forgive him?

Ah, what better gesture of reconciliation than to goofily sing a love song written by Fiorello himself. Of course Fiorello forgives Tiziano, because Fiorello loves everyone, good and bad, (after all he loves Amadeus the most). But he is also a chaos being, and he is working harder than anyone else to channel the divine madness of this deranged Sanremo Festival into anyone who gets close. Tiziano, watch out!

Seems TIziano naively thought he could lean in for a staged, nearly kiss, but Fiorello’s very soul is antithetical to “nearly” anything.

“My husband’s going to divorce me!” wails poor Tiziano, but Fiorello has never felt so alive. This is Sanremo, bitches. Rules like “sixty-year-old men can’t be danger twinks, Fiorello,” have ceased to apply. He is an apostle of Achille Lauro, he has accepted the sermon of Benigni into his heart: it is time for PHYSICAL LOVE. While not quite ready (yet) to fuck everyone in the orchestra pit, he is throbbing with readiness, to frolic all over the theatre giving all the guys he can get his hands on THE KISSES OF HIS MOUTH.

Naturally this sparks further firestorms of chaos. “Do it again!” begs grizzled rocker and high-ranking competitor Piero Pelù. Electrified by the touch of Fiorello’s lips, he is later to be found running shirtless through the auditorium where he steals a handbag.

Everyone is kissing everyone, age and orientation be damned. Summoned by the gay sorcery unfolding, 65-year-old queer rock goddess Gianna Nanini manifests and is kissed worshipfully on the lips by 36-year-old duet partner Coez.

There’s also some kind of song competition going on I guess.

This happens:

That’s Ghali, GUYS, IT’S NOT WORKING, rappers ARE DROPPING LIKE FLIES ALL OVER THIS STAGE, WE’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

(... it isn’t really Ghali and don’t worry. This is a gag? Which I still don’t really get? And nor does sweet anarchist cherub Fiorello whom we will later discover is currently being physically restrained from rushing onstage to tend to the fallen rapper’s wounds.)

The real Ghali raps in Arabic which among other things is a big old “me ne frego” of his own to Italian Trump-tribute act and failed wannabe prime minister Matteo Salvini. Then he gets close to Fiorello, which can only end one way.

All the boys are crazy for Fiorello’s kisses but Amadeus still can’t have any

It’s already a difficult night for Amadeus. TV presenter Antonella Clerici enters and far from standing a step beside him, righteously rips the piss out of him, which to be fair he accepts with grace.

And as for Achille Lauro ... ...No. Patience. The time to bear witness to the last stand of Achille Lauro is not yet come. There are other forces stirring at Sanremo.

Chaos has its dark side.

The gun on stage is cocked and loaded. This is it. ENTER MORGAN.

... and enter Bugo, who trails in behind Morgan, looking dazed and haunted. But whatever, it’s a million o’clock in the morning, aren’t we all.

They start to play. Italian Tumblr dozes fitfully on its sofa, idly crackshipping Amadeus and Fiorello. Utterly unprepared.

So most of us don’t notice what’s happening ...

... until the music just stops.

No one’s paid attention to the Morgan and Bugo in days. As far as I’m concerned Fabrizio Moro has already been avenged and my bloodlust is slaked. The song - apparently written wholly by Bugo - honestly, isn’t bad, but Morgan’s been tuneless throughout and their duet/cover last night was cringeable. There have been some major reversals in the rankings but at this point there’s almost no way they’re going to be one of them. And Morgan is not happy.

So Morgan changed the lyrics (and this isn’t even last-minute improv, he fucking printed it) to attack the one person who still had faith in him, blaming Bugo and Bugo alone for their poor performance so far. On live TV. In front of millions. After screaming at Bugo backstage just minutes ago. And he expects Bugo to just stand there and take it.

"Me ne frego to that shit,” thinks Bugo, and becomes the unexpected self-care hero of Sanremo as he vanishes into the night.

And that’s how I learned the Italian word for pandemonium.

Morgan has the absolute nerve to ask what’s going on. Amadeus breaks out in visible cold sweat. Fiorello is thrown bodily onstage to DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING, OH MY GOD.

It’s long past midnight and a bunch of worried middle-aged men in sparkly jackets are scampering around yelping “Bugo? Bugo! BUGO? BUGO!!!” and that, I am here to tell you, when you are already delirious from exhaustion and shitposting-induced hysteria, is more than enough to tip you right over the edge.

Italian Tumblr resigns itself to never sleeping again.The memes aren’t going to make themselves.

youtube

Translation: ”Is Bugo there?” “What’s happening?” “Where’s Bugo gone?” “I have to go and see where Bugo is.” “Bugo left.” “BUGO!”

Morgan wants vengeance. Fiorello, adorably indifferent to the fact that he was shoved on stage to, you know, entertain the audience, wants to find the missing waif, wrap him in a blanket and feed him soup. So they both rush offstage and Amadeus is left alone in a living anxiety dream.

The audience are booing. The 70th fucking Sanremo Festival of Italian Song is falling to pieces on his watch. For all he knows murder is going on backstage and he picked known powder-keg and scoundrel Morgan for the Festival. The buck stops with him. And he has no lines, no back-up, no idea what to do about it.

And then Fiorello, angel of misrule, avatar of lawlessness and love, strolls back onstage. He looks confident and relaxed, like a man with all the answers. Which he is.

“Have you got Bugo?” Amadeus inquires desperately.

NO RULES, NO MASTERS, NO SPONSORSHIP MONEY. ME NE FREGO.

Everything is broken. And somehow everything is OK.

Everyone, Amadeus included, bursts into hysterical, cathartic laughter.

“Is this my fault?” Amadeus asks. “YES!” crows Fiorello, lovingly forcing Amadeus to face his sins and his nightmares in a healing atmosphere of radical acceptance and mass psychosis.

And that’s how Amadeus learned that the real Sanremo was inside us all along. And what he needs in this glorious maelstrom was never a beautiful woman standing a step behind him. It’s a chaos pixie dream boy at his side.

It’s time to cast out toxic masculinity and become a better man.

So Amadeus wraps up the show as best he can and then out of pure human compassion, he and Fiorello personally wander the streets of Sanremo looking for Bugo until four in the morning.

Bugo and Morgan are automatically disqualified

And now let us witness the final passion of Achille Lauro. Who is this Achlle Lauro kid anyway? How intentional is all this? Is he the Messiah, or a very naughty boy?

SO YEAH. Anyway, everyone’s wondering what the fuck Achille and his producer/guitarist Boss Doms (yes, really) are going to do, and BE, next. Achille’s first three looks were inspired by St Francis of Assisi, David Bowie, and Marchesa Luisa Casati.

So ... Freddie Mercury, maybe? Elizabeth I? Jesus Christ? And after the flurry of kissing Fiorello whipped up ..

Will they ... can they ... dare they...

Do you even need to ask?

I have no idea how the crazy bastards who guessed “Elizabeth I” did it.

Achille thrusts his hips against Boss’s backside. Drops to his knees before him and lets the shape of the microphone speak for itself. Briefly chokes him. And throughout they are tender, elegant, and utterly, regally dignified.

And then, at last.

A joyous chorus of maenad-like shrieks rings out across Europe. If you’re in the Greater London area and your ears are still sore, I’m sorry. That was me.

That’s it. Achille Lauro and Boss Doms ascend into heaven and pass into history.

Not even they can give more to Sanremo.

The dust settles.

The dawn breaks.

WE FUCKING DID IT! RANCORE LIVES! WOUNDED (as are we all) BUT SMILING AT A WORLD TRANSFORMED! (Not only that but, after starting at the bottom of the leaderboard he’s been catapulted up into the top ten and wins the special prize for Best Lyrics!)

And Amadeus?

Well, let’s hear from him in his own words.

Because Fiorello asked him to, Amadeus is wearing a blonde wig to look like legendary TV host Maria de Filippi. Amadeus doesn’t normally sing, but because Fiorello asks him to, he joins him in song.“A WORLD OF LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!” they chorus. It’s the hymn of the new day.

“He can make me do anything!” Amadeus sighs to the audience. So Fiorello asks him to slow-dance. And they do.

The prophecy has been fulfilled. Amadeus has let love into his heart. He has surrendered to the holy power of gay chaos. He is a man reborn.

He didn’t find Bugo on that long, gruelling dark night of the soul, because incredibly, poor Bugo never left the theatre and spent the night literally hiding in a cupboard.

But he found something else.

As Sanremo finally, mercifully approaches its end, Fiorello grapples him close and, all teasing cast aside, whispers fiercely in his ear:

And somehow it was.

And toxic masculinity?

To find out why don’t we - and I am sorry about this - check in on Matteo Salvini who would normally be rage-tweeting up a Trump-style storm by now. He loves bitching about Sanremo for being “rigged by the left” or occasionally letting a non-lily-white performer win, and this year he even tried to organise a boycott. Let’s see how that’s going.

This, the gayest-ever Sanremo in history, is the most-watched Sanremo in 18 years, with an incredible 60% audience share.

“Me Ne Frego” flies to the top of the Spotify charts. (And though the judges are still cowards and traitors who left Achille in 8th place, there is no doubt across the media who the real star of the festival was. ) And Salvini’s “boycott” just meant he effectively banned himself from making a peep about it.

So who won the festival?

ALL OF US.

Oh, you meant literally.

This guy. His name is Diodato and his song is called “Fai Rumore” (Make a Sound.) It’s fine.

And that was Sanremo. It wasn’t a dream, it was a place. And you, and you, and you were there.

#Explaining Sanremo #Explaining Sanremo Part 2 #Sanremo #Sanremo 2020 #Achille Lauro #Amadeus #Fiorello #Amadello #sanremo 70

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