#I might like actually legit cannot anymore with this fucking place
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To the people actually threatening the artist and saying shit like death threats: you are the fucking reason no one takes us seriously when we talk about issues.
Stop acting like telling someone to kill themselves is the absolute last resort. Oh my god, I am so embarrassed of the people on the internet!!
Thanks to you, I get compared to "twitter people who like to whine about everything that's a couple pixels on a screen!"
Oh my fucking God!!
#I might like actually legit cannot anymore with this fucking place#how depressing#I hate fandom culture and I hate this bullshit#do not tell the artist this shit#I am upset and frustrated at them but I would never#I just wish they were better educated and I wish the ppl wouldnt baby them - that they'd be educated to#but I dont want anyone to fucking die??? or anything like that??#fucking christ!! fucking christ!!!! you people are the reason we cant have civil conversations anymore!!! hellworld!!!#this is why no one listens to us because you fuckers are so violent!!!
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their favorite types of kisses
people in this - dream, georgenotfound, sapnap, wilbur, punz, jschlatt, awesamdude, quackity
headcanon!
the most disgusting fluff i’ve ever written
warning - cursing, i think that’s all but if there is more please do not hesitate to tell me :)
word count - 2k
a/n: okay okay, i might’ve lied earlier about that being my last post but this was short and easy to make which is why i would like to feed my readers this early haha. anyways, enjoy and please disregard the errors in this post, i hate proof reading anything lol. also, i’ve been very indecisive on the title and i might change it later and ooh, my masterlist will be made soon. i’ve just been feeling very unproductive these days. also, please put in requests, i am so bored and dumb therefore there are no ideas in this brain. and if you’d like a part 2, i might add more people for the part 2!anyways, peace!
dream -
i get the feeling that dream’s favorite type of kisses would be cheek kisses
he just likes to watch as you struggle to reach his height
“aw look at those little legs do their thing.”
ends up with you not giving him his kiss
and mans becomes SO pouty
“y/n…come on. don’t be this way.” :(
if you don’t kiss him on the cheek, will also become SO clingy and whiny
“why won’t you KISS ME!”
clenches his fists and stomps away like a teenage girl during puberty
slamming the door to your room
so then you have to go and give him all the kisses he wants
his face is slammed into your pillow
you sit on the side of the bed and pet his hair
leading him to stare up at you with puppy dog eyes
“i will give you all the kisses you want. so stop being so pouty, you big baby.”
will literally leave zero feet of space between you and him
taps his cheek to tell you he wants kisses
when you go on dates, will literally make you stand on your tippy toes to get his kisses
does not bend down at all and actually lifts his head higher to tease you
in other words, clingy but rude hoe
george -
george is a classic romantic
he loves just lip kisses
pecks or lingering ones
he doesn’t care
mans don’t need too many kisses
nor does he need to be too clingy
total opposite of dream and sapnap *ahem clingy ahem*
if he wants a kiss,
he will come over to you and get it
doesn’t get pouty if you’re busy
just waits patiently
doesn’t enjoy it when you interrupt him when he’s streaming so you do your own thing
when you’re watching a movie with him,
he will literally only stare at you with his cute smile
and listen to your every criticism of the movie
he likes to just peck your lips whenever he feels like it
and you’re just not surprised anymore
just likes to stare at your lips whenever you talk
overall, is very sweet but not to an extent with showing affection
sapnap -
omg
sapnap just vibes with neck kisses
it tickles his neck and he loves them
giggles when you pepper kisses along his neck and flushes a deep red
“y/n. stop.” giggles between each word
but when you do, becomes the saddest person in the whole world
“i was joking.” :(
when he’s streaming and he begins to miss you
would leave his room and find you just to get a kiss
just like dream, would get angry if you give him no kisses
“GIVE ME KISSIES!”
very amusing for you
and you love to tease him
“i don’t want to give you kissies.”
continues to stare at you with a large frown until you give in and give him kissies
lsg supremacy but i’ll get into this later hehe
you better give him kisses or you’ll be dealing with a very sad sapnap
sadnap :(
wilbur -
wilbur, wilbur, wilbur
what can i even say
total nose kiss guy
i bet he’ll boop your nose twenty four seven
asks stupid questions just to get your attention
“y/n?”
“yes wilbur?”
“is a hotdog a sandwich?”
“why-“
“boop.”
“did you just say boop while you booped my nose?”
if he’s streaming and you bring him a snack
he will hold your face still and leave kisses on your nose
not too clingy but not too distant
likes to be just right with you
if its snowy outside and your noses get red
makes dumb jokes about he is rudolph and you’re mrs. rudolph
just a lot of smooches from wilby
takes you to a lot of hidden cafes in the city
and while you read, he balances his head on his palm, staring at you in admiration
if you’re insecure about your nose, you legit can’t be around wilbur because he will go on a tangent about how beautiful it is
substantially, soft boy hours all day bro, besides when he gets mad then you leave the hormonal man tf alone
punz -
i don’t see a lot of punz on tumblr so here we go
punz loves hand kisses
not to an extent where he has a hand fetish
god no but just like
when your holding hands, he’ll occasionally pull your hand up to his lips and leave a kiss
lots of hand holding
and i mean lots
constantly gets mad fun of for being a simp but ignores those comments because he genuinely loves you so much
likes it when you play with his hair and messing it up
also likes to compare hand sizes with you
always has a hand on your thigh or your hand in his whenever he is driving somewhere with you
even when you go on dates, always holding hands
no matter how sweaty your hand gets, he will hold on
sometimes if he holds on for too long, you have to tell him to let go
“punz, my hand is super sweaty. lets take a break from the hand holding.”
would flat out decline so you would have to pry your hand out of his
he would also love it when you would kiss his hand
makes him feel all polite and precious LOL
would also wrap his pinky along yours when you walk together
he once came with you to a family gathering for christmas and was so SHY
shy boy held your hand for security while your younger siblings made fun of you
afterwards, when you were under a mistletoe, he kisses you on the lips before kissing you on his favorite part of your body,
your hand
c!jschlatt -
jschlatt is a whole mess
the first time you met, he confessed that he would hate you for as long as you lived because you made fun of his boots
now he says he still strongly dislikes you but you’re more tolerable
doesn’t like it when you make him soft and HATES it when he blushes
“why must you do this to me, mother nature?”
also “hates” it when you even touch him because he “hates” you
when he actually confessed to you that he liked you with his grumpy usual grandpa voice,
you kissed him on his forehead, after he bent down of course
he is an actual giant and threatens to squash you like an ant if he feels the need to
is an absolute monster to you but loves it when you kiss his forehead because it makes him feel secure and loved
likes to watch the wind blow through your hair and mess it up but gives you his hat because he like you being “all pretty and shit”
gets SUPER jealous when you hug children
like for example, when you went over to a family gathering at his house, his cousins came up to hug you
and when you let go of the child, the man child comes and lugs you over his shoulder
gets yelled at by his mom and gives her a sheepish smile before rolling his eyes and throwing you down on the sofa set next to him
his mom doesn’t approve of the way he treats you but you tell her its fine because he’s cute
when you are far from any type of civilization or in the safety and solitude of your own home, he wants kisses on the forehead
pointing up to it and bending down so you could reach it
“y/n, i only love you because of your forehead kisses.”
“you only love me for my kisses?” :(
“mhm.”
actually feels slightly bad
“and because of your personality.”
“thank you-“
“shut up. we don’t talk about this.”
in conclusion, give him his forehead kisses or perish
awesamdude -
sam just adores it when you give him jawline kisses
not because it’s basically the only place you could reach but because it’s a sweet gesture
sam is all about sweetness
i mean have you even seen this man on his stream
he likes to watch you while you have conversations with your friends
not in a creepy way but more like an adoring way
cause man does he love you
i mean not only does he love you but his whole family does
and when you’re alone with sam, you love to bury him underneath all of your love
“i love you sam!”
“no i love you more y/n!”
“NO i LOVE you more!”
“NO i LOVE you MORE!”
“SAM NO. I LOVE YOU MORE!”
“okay thank you sweet pea.”
leaving you a bit confused but happy that he accepts your love
when you cuddle, omg
he never stops peppering kisses all over your face and vice versa because your relationship is disgustingly fluffy
when he lends you one of his sweatshirts, you sure as hell better wear that shit out or else (i am leaving a blank threat here)
sam loves technology but you guys sort of have a system
a system that involves mailing each other love letters rather than texting them
you guys also go on a ton of walks just about anywhere
hand holding is mandatory even though you probably look like a child compared to him
just give sam lots of love and in return, you’ll receive lots of love
quackity -
mans cannot leave you tf alone
likes to do ANYTHING freaky around you
“i will follow you to the ends of the earth, mi amor.” or
“ayy, back off.” if anyone gets too close to you
messes with you twenty four seven and makes it his job to drive you insane
plays horror games at two in the morning for fun
and when he gets scared, hides in the safety of your arms
“mi amor. i’m scared.”
“shut the fuck up and sleep, alex.”
“okay.” shuts up quickly and snuggles deeper into the crook of your neck
loves you so deeply but HATES your cat
“look at that little dumb thing stare at me. you got a problem bro?”
your cat also HATES alex
scratches him all the time and hisses at him
if you think sapnap is babie, wait till you meet alex
“y/n he bit me!”
when you glance down, you don’t even see a scratch
“kiss my boo boo.”
wtf
“what boo boo? there’s nothing there.”
gasps as if you offended him
“this boo boo that your el demonio did to me.”
this man will do anything to get boo boo kisses
istg, you once found him provoking your cat to get some scratches
in alex’s mind, ouchies = kisses from y/n
always has ouchies from god knows where and shows it to you
even though you find it annoying at first, you grow used to it and it sorta becomes your thing with alex
alex is babie and you need to take good care of him :)
#dream#georgenotfound#sapnap#wilbur soot#punz#jschatt#awesamdude#quackity#dreamwastaken x reader#georgenotfound x reader#sapnap x reader#wilbur soot x reader#punz x reader#jschlatt x reader#awesamdude x reader#quackity x reader#dream x reader#george x reader#wilbur x reader#mcyt x reader#mcyt fluff#mcyt headcanons#mcyt au#mcyt
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History of Chinese standing collars (part 1: Ming & Qing)
So, a lot of people nowadays refer to a certain type of standing collar as a “Mandarin collar” but I'm not sure if that’s legit, because standing collars throughout Chinese history looked different. I was confronted by this topic when I was writing my post on 1950s Chinese fashion and felt like I had to make a separate post. I’m gonna do a quick break down of all the different types of standing collars in historical Chinese fashion from the 16th century to the present and how they developed.
Ming Dynasty (1368-1644)
The first mature 立领 liling standing collars were applied to women’s robes in the late 15th/early 16th century. Before any garment with a standing collar was invented, both men and women in Ming China wore garments with either a 圆领 yuanling round collar, 直领 zhiling parallel collar or 交领 jiaoling crossover collar, with crossover collars being the more common in womenswear.
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Early Ming Dynasty portrait of a lady in a crossover collar robe.
The development of a standing collar was in large part thanks to the invention/adoption of the 子母扣 zimukou metal clasp button. I wonder why the fabric knotted buttons used on round collar robes were not used on standing collars in this period? They were awfully similar to the pankous of later. Anyway, at one point in the 15th century, some women thought it would be cool to add zimukou to their clothes and it resulted in this (they were also used on 比甲 bijia, 半臂 banbi and 短衫 duanshan but those are irrelevant to collars):
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Part of 明宪宗元宵行乐图 (a painting depicting various Lantern Festival activities at the court of Emperor Xianzong), 1485. This lady is wearing a crossover collar robe with a zimukou at the middle.
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Modern reproduction zimukou. You could buy these for cheap on Taobao if you want to sew your own Ming style hanfu btw.
In the 16th century a fashion revolution took place in China: the standing collar, which came out of nowhere, began to suddenly dominate women’s clothing. This OG Chinese standing collar was very tall and form fitting, usually covering all of the wearer’s neck. It had sharp, rectangular edges and was closed by two zimukou, one placed at the bottom of the collar where it meets the bodice and another slightly above, not reaching the top of the collar. An important feature that set this apart from the collars of the 20th century is that it was unstiffened and made of the same fabric as the robe, meaning it was soft and could be worn with the top bit folded over, showing the lining which could be of a contrasting color. For archival purposes let’s call this collar style 1.
There are various theories as to why the standing collar was invented, e.g. because of colder climate during the little ice age, which peaked in the late 16th/early 17th century. Methinks it was just a fad which stayed.
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Late Ming Dynasty portrait, collar style 1.
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Late 16th century/early 17th century aristocratic lady wearing a standing collar robe underneath a round collar robe. The top of her collar is folded over. Collar style 1 variation 2.
Qing Dynasty (1644-1911)
This style of collar became the norm for Han Chinese women’s fashion in the mid to late 16th century and stayed that way throughout the 17th and 18th centuries. While the clothing silhouettes and accessories changed, the shape of the standing collar remained the same.
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Late 17th century illustration for pornographic novel 肉蒲团 (1657). Collar style 1, but it became fashionable in the 17th century to have rows of piping around the neck for each button, so variation 3. Oh and wlw pride come throoouuuugh
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Early 18th century court painting, collar style 1 variation 3.
At some point in the late 18th century Han women decided it would be cool to use 盘扣 pankou, this fabric braided/knotted button of Manchu origin (more on Manchu dress later) on their collars instead of zimukou. The decoration also became more extravagant, with often rows of thick binding, piping or trim, corresponding to the decorations on the rest of the robe. It’s also slightly shorter, the upper button being at the very top of the collar. Let’s call this collar style 2.
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(Presumably) late 18th century reverse glass painting showing collar style 2. The late 18th century deserves more attention, it’s such an important transitional period but also charming in its own way. This is true of European fashion of the period as well, I honestly love both places in the late 18th century.
In the beginning of the 19th century, the fashionable collar shape suddenly changed for some reason. It became extremely low, approximately only 1-2cm tall, only tall enough to accommodate one button. It still had crisp, rectangular edges. You could say this is another variation of collar style 2 but it is so iconic to the 19th century I think I’ll call this collar style 3.
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Reverse glass painting ca. 1830. Han lady wearing a robe with collar style 3.
Now a brief look at Manchu womenswear. I am not an expert on Manchu historical fashion so tell me if I’m wrong. So the Manchus, who were apparently a confederation of Jurchen tribes from the area in what is northeastern China nowadays, invaded China successfully in the 1640s and remained the rulers of China until 1911 when they were replaced by the Republic of China. Throughout most of the Qing Dynasty Manchu women wore collarless robes, it was not until the mid 19th century that some Manchu women started to wear detachable collars to emulate Han women’s fashion, and not until around 1908 (!) when standing collars were actually added to their gowns themselves. Yes, period dramas did Manchu women dirty, poor gals have been dressed in the wrong costumes this, entire, time. The misrepresentation of Manchu historical fashion in the media in general is just fucking infuriating, but well, topic for a future post.
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Late 17th century/early 18th century portrait of a Manchu lady. She is wearing a 衬衣 chenyi, a robe with straight sleeves, no slits and closed at the right side. It’s a casual gown worn for everyday activities. Her chenyi is collarless and the collar is closed by binding.
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1840s/1850s court gown. She is wearing 氅衣 changyi (the bottom part of the first character should be 衣 not 毛 but this character is so obscure that it literally DOES NOT EXIST in the Chinese language anymore omg), a more elaborate style developed in the early 19th century with slits down both sides and wide trims along the collar, cuffs, side closure, side slits and hem. I have yet to see an extant example with a standing collar, all the changyi from the 19th century I’ve seen in museum collections are collarless, so the collar seen in paintings must’ve been detachable. Maybe some Manchu women liked Han women’s fashion and wanted to wear a detachable collar. I have, however, seen Manchu women’s vests and jackets with standing collars. These were similar to late 18th century Han women’s collars, so collar style 2.
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1890s/1900s women’s vest with collar style 2.
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Ca. 1908. Chenyi with standing collar. If the passage of time is still not clear, notice the Western fabric used. Collar style 2.
At first glance this might look like a cheongsam but it is not. Chenyi did not have slits down the sides, unlike most 20th century cheongsam. It may have been a source of inspiration for cheongsam though, as I have explained in one of my 1930s posts, although the more obvious prototype for cheongsam was the changyi with slits and standing collars.
Let us now turn our attention to Manchu menswear, which is where things get complicated. In the 17th and 18th centuries, the Manchu riding habit, 行服袍 xingfupao, was a form fitting calf length robe with form fitting long sleeves and 马蹄袖 matixiu “horse hoof cuffs”, closed at the side with pankou. It was constructed in the same method as Han Chinese clothing. This original Manchu robe was collarless----I cannot stress this enough. The Manchus did not come barging into China wearing robes with standing collars goddamnit, get your facts right period dramas.
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Portrait of Emperor Kangxi in a xingfupao. This is from the early 18th century already but the style didn’t change much so you get the idea. I love this color btw I think he looks great in it.
The xingfupao was an informal riding habit and only one small part in the gigantic system of Manchu court dress, the rules of which are well documented but I don’t bother to look them up. If you would like to do that, Google 大清会典. At one point in the early 18th century some Manchu dudes decided it was cool to add a collar to their xingfupao (like... Han women??) and it resulted in this:
Source here
An early example from the Kangxi era (1661-1722), a xingfupao with a standing collar of a contrasting color. The hem is detachable for horse riding (horse riding was an important aspect of Manchu culture and that influenced many of their fashion decisions). Judging by the fur lining I assume the standing collar was added for warmth in winter? I also saw some xingfupao with fur trim attached to standing collars so maybe that was the purpose.
Standing collars on xingfupao was constructed in a similar way to Han women’s collars, with rectangular edges and closed by two buttons. Pankous, which were unique to Manchu dress, were used instead of the Han zimukou. It appears that this collar was also soft and unstiffened, so it could be worn with the top bit folded over like in ye olde times (the 16th century). It’s important to note that xingfupao with a standing collar were not common at all, maybe a 1/20 probability to see in museum collections. Construction wise it’s similar to collar style 2 but it appeared earlier and was exclusive to menswear, so let’s call it collar style 4.
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Qianlong era (1735-1796) portrait, xingfupao with standing collar of the same color folded over. Collar style 4 variation 2.
Another garment with a standing collar was the dress of the officials, known by white people as “Mandarins”. From the artworks and photographs I’ve seen, the collar only appeared in the outfit with a 行服褂 xingfugua, a button down tunic with straight, wide sleeves and slits at the front, back and sides. It was usually worn in combination with xingfupao, like how a shirt and vest are fixed combinations in European menswear. However, the collar of this kind of outfit was separate from the tunic itself. A plastron with an attached collar was worn underneath the robe and tunic (completely detachable collars were also used I think??) and the collar was buttoned from the inside. Not sure if this qualifies as a standing collar at all since it isn’t even attached to the robe itself, but anyway let’s just call this collar style 5.
Source here
19th century portrait of an official. He is wearing a blue xingfupao, an indigo xingfugua and a blue detachable collar; a standard ensemble (well he’s also wearing pants and boots and stuff but that’s not the focus here). Collar style 5.
Oh I forgot to mention, after the Manchus took over China, they enforced their dress code on Han Chinese men but not Han Chinese women, so in the Qing Dynasty Han and Manchu menswear were one and the same but Han and Manchu womenswear were not.
I’ve only been talking about court dress so far, educated/well off civilian Han men would wear 长衫 changshan, a floor length robe, sometimes with a 马褂 magua, a short riding vest (derived from xingfugua), whereas poorer Han men would wear 短打 duanda, a short button down shirt, and pants. Well people who wore changshan also wore pants underneath but they’re not visible. All men wore pants tbh (incoming tangent), a while back when Harry Styles in a dress (which I stan) was making the rounds on social media some well meaning people were trying to find historical precedents for men wearing dresses and they named Chinese historical clothing as an example. I just wanna say, while I appreciate the sentiment, the harsh reality was that historical Han Chinese fashion was extremely gendered (except for a few brief time periods and a few select garments). Pants were reserved for men and skirts for women, the long gown like garments seen on men in historical portraiture were all robes, not dresses; you wouldn’t consider a long coat or bathrobe a dress nowadays, would you? Men always wore pants as undergarments while women wore petticoats. However I think that’s great for illustrating how our perception of whether a garment is masculine/feminine could change over time and that gender is socially constructed. Back to the main topic, to my knowledge, magua never had collars because it was a vest, changshan commonly had collars and duanda sometimes did too. I’m not sure when the standing collar began to appear on changshan, maybe when the court xingfupao gained collar style 4 it stuck in civilian fashion, maybe it was some point in the 19th century.
Anyway, fast forward to the late 19th century, the men’s changshan had a tall standing collar but again it was different to everything we’ve seen so far. It was exceptionally tall and had a smoothly tapering edge closed by only one pankou at the bottom. This resulted in a huge v shape gap down the middle. It’s still unstiffened but because of the lack of a rectangular edge it couldn’t be worn folded over. Let’s call this collar style 6.
Source here
Late 19th century/early 20th century portrait of a man. Changshan with collar style 6.
Let’s finish this part with Han women’s collars in the 1890s and 1900s. Around this time Han womenswear began to modernize and become simpler, but that trend did not apply to collars: the collars of Han women’s robes suddenly became unnaturally tall. They were so tall that they touched the wearer’s cheeks and couldn’t be closed at the front at all, kind of resembling Regency era European men’s collars?? This style of collar was oftentimes called 元宝领 yuanbaoling, ingot collar, or 马鞍领 ma’anling, saddle collar, after the object it resembles. Let’s call all of these tall collars that touch the wearer’s face collar style 7, but bear in mind these had a lot of variations.
Source here
Photograph from the 1900s. This could be categorized as a cursed variation of collar style 6 judging from how it only has one pankou and a tapering edge instead of a rectangular edge. But like, belle époque Chinese collars are a whole other species, so let’s comfortably call it collar style 7.
Source here
More collar style 7 representation. This collar style will never stop being funny to me, like just look at it it’s so tall.
So, in summary:
Collar style 1: OG Ming Dynasty standing collar, in fashion from the 16th to mid 18th century. Tall, unstiffened, rectangular edges. Closed with two zimukou. Could have piping (17th & early 18th century). Could be worn with top bit folded over (16th & early 17th century). Worn by Han women.
Collar style 2: developed from collar style 1, popularized in the late 18th century. Medium height, unstiffened, rectangular edges. Closed with two pankou/other fabric buttons. Commonly has binding, piping or trim. Worn by Han women in the late 18th century, partially adopted by Manchu women in the late 19th century.
Collar style 3: developed from collar style 2, exclusive to the 19th century. Extremely short, unstiffened, rectangular edges. Closed with one pankou. Commonly has binding, piping or trim. Worn by Han women.
Collar style 4: collar style 2 but simpler, appeared in the late 17th/early 18th century. Tall, unstiffened, rectangular edges. Closed with two pankou. Commonly plain. Worn by Manchu & Han men.
Collar style 5: detachable standing collar, a staple of official’s uniforms throughout the Qing Dynasty. Medium height, unstiffened, rectangular/rounded edges. Buttoned from the inside. Always plain. Worn by all officials (exclusively men in this era).
Collar style 6: civilian men’s collar characterized by v shape gap at the front, I don’t know when it first appeared, some point in the Qing Dynasty. Tall, unstiffened, rounded and dramatically tapering edges. Closed by one pankou. Worn by civilian Manchu & Han men.
Collar style 7: cursed belle époque (1890s & 1900s) women’s collars that touched the wearer’s face. Extremely tall, stiffened, both rounded and rectangular edges existed. Closed by one pankou at the bottom but sometimes had more pankou for ornamental purposes. Worn by Han women in this period.
Join me next time as we dive into the Republican era where things get extra complicated.
#hanfu#historic fashion#chinese fashion#chinese history#ming dynasty#qing dynasty#16th century#17th century#18th century#19th century
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Yandere BNHA Boys pt 2
Okay, this is a continuation of the first yandere ones I did because I wrote that in basically a night and was too tired to do more, I'm probably gonna post some after for the pro heroes and villains if I have time, I might finish those on the weekend then post it.
This is just a bunch of headcanons I have about the boys in BNHA and what they’d be like as yanderes. Only the really fluffy or good things about them listed here. Neither of these works are a good depictions of a real yandere and make sure to be careful to identify yandere traits in real people around you. It’s a very dangerous world and stay safe!
sorry if you were waiting for me to come out with these and I literally took forever lol, link to the first one is here. It's basically just me comforting myself with the sweet things that I think they would do as yanderes.
Warnings: Brainwashing, blood, gore, death, trans headcanons, body dysmorphia, nonbinary they/he Sero, they/them pronouns + nonbinary headcanons for Tokoyami, he/they nonbinary headcanons with Shinsou, a little NSFW because if I don't specify then they are aged up (around 20-25 is where I imagine the timeline that they actually captured you and have a hero carrier going for them already), manipulation, regular yandere things, kinda just turns into dumbass horknee headcanons at some point after Shinsou (sorry lmfao), objectification
Sero Hanata
so basically the first time they saw you they immediately wanted to come up to you
they love to give you back hugs because once you stop trying to fight them he's gonna be so honored you finally trust him
Big time slut [non-derogetory] for you
Likes to have an apartment that's high up, probably a secured penthouse with lots of windows
If you're afraid of heights they will get a ground bed for you two, they would also vibe with a low hanging hammock if you allow it
they really really like just putting you on a custom made leash, not inherently in a sexual way just in general likes to have it look like that with their tape on you at all times
they really really like it when you come to them for hugs and comfort
If you're a trans reader, if you want a binder he will get you one as soon as you ask, cried when you told him about it.
they cried way more than you though...
Was very accepting as an nb person as well
they custom made you a tape binder of his
Kinda as a joke but high key felt like they were gonna combust at the thought of you wearing that for them
Takes you to pride but you cannot speak
only takes you to pride after they are 1000% sure that you're not gonna speak to anyone but them
Takes you to it as a part of their float because they'd been invited onto the Hero Float
You are in a costume that's exactly like his, helmet and everything, you aren't allowed to be looked at
After that though, it's gonna be your choice to go or not to go
they trust you a little more after you run away from some assholes though and after that sometimes lets you take your helmet off during pride, you have to give them a lot of kisses though
When/if you ever consider any type of surgery he is 110% on board
they demand that you have to have it performed by someone who has done this a million times before, trusts no one else
If there's a way for you to go through it without the surgery they're excited but he's more excited if there is surgery because they love the idea of you being so cuddly and clinging to them for their comfort
Tokoyami Fumikage
haha they're in love with you
like, intensely in love with you the moment they first meet you
Dark shadow thinks you're adorable but says nothing more about their obsession with you
when you met them before UA they absolutely cannot handle being around you in a 10-foot radius
Eventually, though they do try and become a friend of yours
After that, it's a hop on the manipulation train, my dude
they basically make you see them as your savior from a mean uncaring world
they love talking to you about things that make you happy and loving you in little ways
hugs, hand holding, a lot of time it's just a little peck (haha) on the cheek
they love living with you though, like really love it
they like baking and making dinner for you
but especially baking
like really, baking
the manipulation they use makes it seem like everything is okay when you only talk to them so that's what you do and to you, it seems so much better than anything you could do
they haven't come out to you by the time you come out to them so your trans journey really helps them figure things like that out as well
The first time you explain that gender is a made-up construct they're like "yeah......isn't that how everyone feels? Like, not a gender????" we love this for them
you both kind of heal each other through this process
they like seeing you when you're most comfortable so they get you as many binders as you need
also gets you a custom binder like Sero but with feather designs, not like stupid printable patterns but something that is soft and the softness isn't feathers it's regular fluffy cloth
idk I'm not a designer that's why I gave up and became a writer lmao
they also get you a compression corset because they're emo
if there is surgery it takes a lot of time to convince them
they don't ever want you to regret anything they helped you with so it takes a lot of long-winded conversations about it
there was a lot of nervousness on their part because (this is just my headcanon) they were almost convinced to get surgery to construct their face to look human-like
they had a lot of their family tell them that, because of the way they looked, they had less of a chance to become a hero, they were immensely traumatized by this and thus wants to make absolutely sure you were okay with this
but when they finally find themself comforted by you about it it happens quickly and in the safest way you could possibly imagine
Shinso Hitoshi
Shinsou didn't want to approach you at all, he was so scared you'd run away or tell him he's a villain
they always thought that they weren't good enough for you
he loved you but you needed to say hi first
and you did
so he whisked you away
they like to just brainwash you into tasting certain types of food when you're craving them instead of just getting you food
he likes to talk to you in a voice like he would talk to a kitten, not like husky or anything sexy, but something cute and adorable
especially when you're brainwashed and can't say anything to him
He likes to give you lots of soft stuff like I'm talking pillows upon pillows and squishmallows
once he gets his own house they get it in a place that's more comforting in the dark than in the light
they really like the dark and outdoorsy vibe anyway so if they choose a place somewhere in the forest to keep you what's the added bonus if no one can hear you scream?
a little bit of spice; he has this whole a/b/o fantasy (idk it's his vibes that he'd read that fanfic and stuff lmao) and kinda treats you like you were an omega
sometimes if you guys do have sex they'll brainwash you to act like an omega or once he's more experienced with bodily manipulation involving their quirk they'll make you do all of the......omega things
when you come out to them, if you're trans, they're definitely gonna not care
like if you need comfort and stuff about it they will not make a big deal about it
he legit is like "okay .....can I still fuck you or?????"
HE JUST GIVES OFF REALLY HORKNEE VIBES OKAY?????
definitely brainwashes you into not feeling dysphoric anymore though
like loves it when you come up all sad to him and uncomfy just to ask them to brainwash you
he melts over you cuddling them after those times though
if you want surgery they're gonna make sure that it's between him and the doctors that y'all are there
like no one knows you're there, completely off radius, in and out like nothing (he's basically a cryptid in the woods by the time you guys have the surgery, so they wanna make sure no one questions it)
Monoma Neito
bold of you to assume that man can express literally anything when he wants to just sit you on his lap and look at your pretty face
love at first sight taken literally but not in a shallow way
he loves just having you around him
kinda treats you as an accessory at times, talks like you're a purse or something and people don't really comment but it's really freaking them out sometimes when you don't speak up on it
likes to say he's the only one to understand you cause he's afraid you'd leave him
a hardcore fan of collars though
definitely has lots of jewelry that represents him even though you don't go out he still loves the idea of it
big time cook
loves providing for you, never lets you do a damn thing other than watching pre-approved cartoons and hobbies
absolute fucking disaster about hugging you
always has to be touching you
he thinks you're so fucking gorgeous and body worships you even out of the bedroom
if you're trans he will definitely be weird about it at first
he's just diet transphobic
he's not denying it but sometimes he's like "Are you sure???" and stuff
he clears this up with the help of you being pissed enough to not eat or talk to him until he apologizes
he then educates himself on it and comes to the conclusion that he was in fact being an asshole
talks to you about binders and stuff like that
doesn't really believe in surgery, he would never allow you to do that just because it would be too painful for him to see you go through
he instead literally searches the whole fucking globe for a person with a body-altering quirk to make sure you don't get hurt
he seeks out homophobes, transphobes, and other dumbasses on the regular just to kill them like literally it just started out for your approval but now it's just for fun
Anyway, the villain one (if I do it) will probably become just horknee brain rot cause I am a slut. Request some stuff and I'll try to put up some works if y'all want ig.
#yandere bnha#yandere#bnha#bnha fanfiction#BNha x gnreader#gn reader#nb tokoyami hc#nb sero hc#nb shinsou hc#sero hanata#hanata sero#Sero#tokoyami fumigake#fumikage tokoyami#tokoyami x reader#tokoyami#shinsou hitoshi#hitoshi shinsou#shinsou#shinsou x reader#sero x reader#monoma neito#neito monoma#monoma#monoma x reader#bnha trans reader#x trans reader
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A different take on SessKag relationship or why it would be more realistic than InuKag.
Let me begin with
Sesshomaru's and Kagome's past and how they are similar.
Sesshomaru had always been a very sentimental and emotionally receptive being. He had loved and cherished his dad the most. Loving and competing with him, wanting to surpass him, desiring recognition and acceptance so much so that his entire world revolved around his father. He did not want the swords because they were powerful or the bs about supreme conquest. What is that shit? Sesshomaru never needed that. The swords, especially Tessaiga was the most important acceptance to Sess. I will get back to this later.
Now Kagome. This kid was born and then we never saw her dad even when she was a kid. Another classic case of growing without a dad? Perhaps. But I feel her grandpa filled her missing dad's place. That is why the kid grew up in a lovely household, filled with love and peace and made Kagome what she was later on, a selfless girl who wants to love and protect her friends. Because that is what she learnt. Her grandpa, mom, everyone and her own family dynamics taught her how important it was to cherish the ones she loved.
What they initially thought of Inuyasha in their life
Now back to Sess. When his dad died, he dies saving Izayoi. What is the thing he feels at the time I wondered. Surely devastated? Yes, but even worse. His most important person, his goal, the thing his life revolved around was gone. And for what? To protect a weak, useless bitch like Izayoi? Here is a thing, he never knew Izayoi but knew the hut had collapsed on his dad when Izayoi had escaped. What can a teen feel when they hear such a thing? 'That useless bitch, ran away when my dad was in danger and cost him his life. Fuck that bitch and that kid they made. Useless, all humans are useless and weak.' This was really where his hatred came from. Probably.
Kagome on the other hand from the beginning was shown as a selfless kid, who loved both humans and demons alike. Reason? She had never lived in the feudal era. She was a kid grown in a society where everyone is placed on a equal pedestal. How would she, a modern kid understand the bad blood between demons and humans? If she were ever born in Feudal Japan, would things have changed? Maybe. Then she falls into a world where nothing was similar to where she was from. She was frightened, unsure and confused. And then Inuyasha came into her life. Honestly their first meeting was not romantic and pretty terrific in a sense. That was a weird day for Kagome. She fell into an alien world only heard in fairy tales, got involved in a weird prophecy, learnt she was a mythical sort of being herself and then got attacked by a guy who had saved her only seconds before, all ready to rip her heart out. In such a case, the 'osuwari' was probably a safe word for her. Why she uses it later in the series? Probably because she never trusted Inuyasha and felt more comfortable using a word which gave her power over him. Honestly, what would you expect? Kisses and love showers?
Analysis: Kagome was still scared of Inuyasha for a long time and did not trust him completely.
Before Inu no Taisho's tomb battle
Kagome before this went home and then cane back because she felt that fixing the Shikon was her duty. More honestly, she just returned coz Yura attacked and she wanted her family to be safe. Here I want to take some time to gush over how cool Kagome is. Intelligent, smart and extremely powerful. How she understood that Yura's skull was her weakness and breaks the god forsaken thing with just an arrow. That is some level of OPness. Who says Kags is useless?
Anyways, after that when Inuyasha called her 'Kagome', a lot of the viewers thought that Kagome was ecstatic because it was romantic and she was in love. But that is bs. It is not possible to love someone a week later they tried to gut your heart out. It is masochistic and unreal. Kagome over here felt a sense of acceptance from a guy who she felt previously hated her enough to kill her. And that to Kagome was a sign of friendship and more like, 'don't worry, I am not at least gonna attempt to kill you anymore.'
Kagome, inheritently a person who gives a hand when given a finger. She accepts Inu as her friend and they were far from being lovers.
It is exactly this time that Sess attacks them. And quite cruely might I say. Bringing Inu's dead mom like that was not funny and Sess was an outright jerk for doing that no matter how much he hated Inu and Izayoi. He is all weird and sarcatic at high levels. And Kags hated him. She hated how he was attacking this one friend she had made in the era. She hated how cruel this bastard was and how much pain her friend was going through. And her own lovely bond with her brother did not help her to look into their complex brotherly bond which seemed to her more like some battle royale. She probaably hated the bitch for showing up and hurting her friend like that even when he, being the older brother should have loved his younger brother and nurtured him like she would do for Souta.
For Sess, it was really weird and shitty all over. A basic human bitch, standing behind Inu like she was weak fawn. Reminded him so much of Izayoi. Someone who never even tried saving his dad. That was why his sarcastic words were like, "Inuyasha, it suits you so much to have a human behind you". Ya and he was irritated by looking at how helpless af the bitch was. He was narcisstic, filipant of Kags presence and all around indifferent to a 'weak human filthy woman', who he felt was just like the one for whom his dad died.
Surprise is how he did not outright murder her. Perhaps he felt like they were worthless and beneath his boots.
Lol, these two are the best.
Inside Inu No Taisho's tomb
Kags was really angry with this bitch who just chained her up, clawed a pearl out of her friend's eye and then jumped into a black hole. That is why she followed with, "This sort of a person, with no blood or humanity in his veins, I cannot forgive him" and then she chased. Even Inu was like, WTF bro. It was fun. Then she spouted lines like, " Take the sword Inuyasha, it will be like a hit to his pride, what a shame!"
How tf did she know about how much his pride hurt him. Lol felt like Kags knew Sess more than Inu ever would and they only met. That was some soulmate level shit right there. Lol!
Then there was Sess who was outright dismissing Kags and she was not even a spec of dust in his eyes. Then she went and pulled that sword out. Remember the scene where he was so surprised that he stopped the battle with Inu and turned around and LOOKED. Like really LOOKED. It was such a heart stopping moment and for good measures as well. He saw a girl, a woman standing there, holding an inheritance which was supposed to be his and she did something he could not. Did Tessaiga accept her then, did his father accept her more than him? He was baffled, confused and low-key awed. That was why he said, "What are you?" And legit measured her top to bottom. That was some turning point for Sess. Something that proved to him that all humans cannot be dismissed. But he was in rage. How can a mere human be worthy of Tessaiga and melted her along with that sword. I wonder if it was his second test to see whether Tessaiga would protect her or not. And then it did!
Sess went ape-shit crazy after that. A sword he desired for so long (The sword used to protect Izayoi was a thorn in his heart. Made him feel like his father had chosen a human over him. But if the sword had accepted him, it would have proved that his dad had still loved him, thought of him). That was the significance of Tessaiga to him. Power sure, but more of an acceptance. His dad's acceptance. And then what happened? The sword preferred a human who then gave it to his damned hated brother.
Aftermath of tomb battle
Kagome never really liked Sess's guts and probably had no form of sympathy towards someone like him. On the other hand things picked up with her and Inu's relation. She came to know some facts about Kik. And her inferiority complex began with her incarnate. But having a part of Kik's soul in her, began her obsession with Inu. She strived to understand him, make a better person of himself. But their relation was still not there to lovers.
Then Sess came across Naraku. He probably just wanted to dick around more with Inu and accepted the human hand.
2nd battle for Tessaiga
Sess's desire to possess the Tessaiga had increased at this point. His rage of having his arm cut off by that sword felt like the worst rejection from his dad. He was going insane and might have wanted to kill Inu for real in this fight. He was in no mood for theatrics in this one, unlike the tomb where he actually watched some InuKag drama and even applauded (lol). He was absolute business this time. He snached the sword and showed Inu exactly why he should not get that sword, 'You cannot even make the wind rift, why should you be more worthy?'
He meant to kill Inu and then Kags arrow sailed in, charging with enough power to even cancel the demonic energy filled into the sword by Sess himself.
His thoughts were for the same reason, " She canceled Tessaiga's transformation? Who is this girl?"
His respect scale jumped for her here. He truly had never met anyone who could rival his power to such extent. He had never met a girl who stood so powerfully in face of danger to protect this some half-breed scum. She was like the embodiment of everything he had hoped Izayoi to be to his dad. A strong woman who would wager her life to save the one she holds dear. Sess had learnt this fact from his dad's death. To sacrifice in name of love and then in this fight he understood how much that meant both for Inuyasha and Kagome. He probably somewhat understood what this feeling was after seeing these two.
Sess had an idea of love and protection and Kags became its centre. She was this vague expectation Sess had of human love and an absolute loyalty towards whom you love most. He felt complicated towards her. He respected her.
3rd Tessaiga battle
Sess's most sceptical battle yet. Why break the tessaiga? 'I will break it if I can't have it!' Desperate much?. Then the wind drift appears and for the first time Sess acknowledges Inu. For maybe being a somewhat worthy of having Taisho's blood, only if a little bit. He is saved by Tenseiga. Oh, how he hated this worthless sword more. This sword could not cut throught things and saves his life. What a worthless shit.
Kagome's narrative here was important. "How can he weild the Tenseiga? He needs a compassionate heart for that." Always wondered why Kags was the one to say this. But realised the reason later on.
Rin
Obviously the most controversial topic of Inuverse. What Sess felt for Rin, why was she there.
Rin has often been compared to be the Kagome version of Sess. And that is the only truth. She came in like a ray of sunshine when he was in most need. He was in self doubt, hate towards Inu and complex emotions towards Kags. And then Rin was there with the exact same face and the same warm feeling like Kags. Even he knew what InuKag were to each other then and no matter how much he respected Kags, he was not really interested in a further relation with Kags. But his deeply unsated desire to understand his dad's mentality and reason behind saving a human was what made him think of Rin. As she was his chance to understand that. His chance to understand why his dad could do that, why Inu could do that and why humans like Kags and Rin could save and love demons. It was not romantic in any sense. He had a confusion and Rin was his way towards a solution. Though it was a different fact that he loved her later on and cherished and protected her. Enough to feel that there was no meaning to his anything if she was not there.
So yes in a way, she is Kags embodiment in Sess's life, a picture of Kags selfless love. His desire to truly understand such beings called selfless humans and the result of his single minded belief of human women being trash and unable to love shattering.
And for fun just to contradict Kags speculations, for first time ever, Sess uses the sword and we viewers realise how wrong Kags was. Sess had every bit of compassion in his heart.
Later events
The events went on with Kags finally understanding her position in Inu's life and her single-minded chase to be accepted by Inu as just Kagome and not Kikyo's reflection. I do not even know if this could be called love or just a misinterpreted need of attention from someone you hold dear. But whatever, we realise Kags is in love with Inu now and still cannot stop from feeling compassion towards Kikyo. Honestly she and Sess are truly two opposite sides of a spectrum.
Sess on the other hand gets Tokijin and attacks Inuyasha. This time around, I highly doubt he was still chasing Tessaiga. It had more evolved into his need to show he is more powerful than Inu. 'What you do best, I can do better.'
Stopping Inu from transforming
In this the most debatable question was whether he was there to stop Inu or not.
Sess had wanted to see and experiment the limits of Inu's blood beast.
After some fighting, Kags jumped in. Sess stared at her, like forever. That staring tho. Even when she was like, "Stay away, you idiot." Sess stared. For Sess, that was what he admired the most in Kags. Her selfless devotion. He was staring at that fearless figure who once again surprised him by being a sacrifice to save her loved ones. She was to Sess what he had always thought of 'love' to be. She was the embodiment of the term 'love' to Sess. For a guy who knew nothing of how to define emotions, it was Kags who showed him what love was. And thus he jumped over and over again in front of Rin to protect her. She taught him how to cherish even the even the most weak individual in a group, and thus he protected Jaken.
Rin was there to show him the same thing everyday. But no matter how much Rin showed him her own loyality, love and warmth, Kags always remained that shining beam to him. I will say later on how I understood this.
Kag's love was the validity of his dad's sacrifice. A way for him to make sense of his dad's mindless death over protecting some weak human.
And in this scene for the first time ever, Kags saw Sess as more than an insufferable pest to her friends. She saw his noble ideals and realised why he was there and thus she thought, "Was he here to save Inuyasha?"
It is very curious as to why Kags was again given these lines. It was probably because her opinion mattered, to Sess it did. And we will see more why in the future.
Random encounters
There was one time when Kags saw Rin while Jaken was trying to steal Tessaiga and she had asked herself, "Why is a little human girl traveling with Sess?' It was again a small thing which she did not need to feel but was very imp. for her development towards Sess. How she started to understand him more.
Kohaku incident
Here we saw how was the first time Sess listened to Kags.
Kags opinion mattered. Inu's mattered and when he realised that Kohaku was being used he let him go. There was one reason that he did not want to be used, the next I am sure was for Kags and Inu. He knew then that Kohaku was imp. to them and he stopped. Big character jump for him.
Then the most curious fact was how Kags knew what the girl meant to him, "Please let him go Sesshomaru, the girl is fine."
Kagome: Thanks Sesshomaru!
Sesshomaru: I just never wanted to be used by Naraku and fall into his trap.
Lol...
Then after Rin left, Kags thoughts about how she had left with Sess and was awed . An important point for her change in feelings towards Sess. She understood the guy was changing and Rin was changing him.
The fun fact was how she was instantly in love with this little girl and that would become important later on.
More random events..
After that it was shown that many times Kags was the only one who could stop a fight bet. the brothers. Example that time when he fought with Inu to get some direction for Naraku. And then Kags came and told him to go north or something and he was like, "That is all I wanted to know." And left.
What is to be seen in these parts is how RT made only him and her interact like this. He listening to her like they have been friends forever.
The saving of Kanta's father was also an example of how much she affected him.
Her plea to save Kanta's dad even when no one believed and no one bothered to ask him. Tensaiga moved because he felt deeply moved by her plea. He might have never wanted to voice it but since Tensaiga only worked when the weilder felt compassion and a need to save someone. Sess must have felt it subconsciously and Tensaiga had stired. Or it had stired because it is a SessKag shipper as well. Lol!
Mukotsu
I wonder how Sess knew Kags was in trouble. Another fun fact like how he appears at times when Inu is not there to save Kags. Sess is there. Probably he knew her scent too well and hence could even distinguish between that and the poison. After that was the gruesome death of Mukotsu. The thing to notice over her was how large Sess looked in that hut doorway, it was a symbolism to how big and huge his protective self looks when he is protecting Kagome. A very romantic thing indeed. The first time he protects someone who is not under his protection. A complete selfless act if considered from his pov. Sess being a very private person and while saving Kagome showed her place in his heart. Yeah and that was very visible from how he killed Mukotsu.
The takeaway from this episode is not this though. It was the fact that Kags defended Sess. For the first time ever, all the good deeds she had seen him doing had outplayed her hatred for him. She accepeted him as a friend with these words, "No Inuyasha, he was here to protect us, he saved us." It was a completely unnecessary detail in the whole scheme of this episode but very important for Sess. Her acceptance matters, her opinion matters and Sess is a Tsundere.
Sesshomaru: I did not save YOU, I just killed him coz he did not answer me properly.
This proved how much she affects him, rattles him and how much her life means to him. And an unspoken promise to himself to protect her when Inu was not around.
Fight with Shishinki
No one ever mentions this fight. But there is a very important SK interaction in here. Something which was important for Sess. Kagome's understanding.
When Sess was lost in the same darkness of never being accepted by his dad, Shishinki made things worse by saying Tenseiga was a cast out of Tessaiga and it was given as a leftover to Taisho's least fav. son. Sesshomaru was hurt, lost, and his daddy issues, his biggest weakness was sharply opened by a knife, cruely and Kagome's words saved him.
Kagome: But there might have been a reason their dad had done this.
Kags belief that Taisho had infact not rejected Sess was like a balm to his soul, the only thing he had needed to hear throughout his life. The thing which made him accept in the end that Tensaiga was there to protect Inuyasha, the thing that was needed to sort of activate Tessaiga and then he finally formed his biggest and truest meido. It was romantic, touching and outright heavenly. Then it was made cute with Inu's awkward concern. It was the best ep. as of yet.
Kagome's deep concern and her understanding of Sess's pain was brilliant and alien level insane. She should not have, but she did and that's why they felt more like soulmates.
Battle with Magatsuhi
Sess had gone batshit crazy when Magatsuhi had hurt Kagome and that had only been worsened by him questioning Sess's honor and pride. Sess had turned full on doggy mode and lost control in that way for the first time since the tomb. And the strike at Magatsuhi's eyes was another symbolism of his revenge for doing shit to Kags eyes and mindfucking her.
RT has always thrown these small hints in between IK drama. Which are brilliant and lovely. Even that one scene where he stands protectively inbetween Kags prostrate body on Kilala and Magatsuhi. Beautiful symbolism, really.
It was also fun to see how Kags half power was sealed by Magatsuhi and Sess's half power was returned via Bakusaiga. I felt that Sess's true acceptance of his protection to Kagome and his detachment from Tessaiga was what made him the true daiyokai and surpass his father. Since somehow Tessaiga has always been linked to protecting Kagome and somehow protecting her might have also been the thing to finding Bakusaiga. The desire to protect her perhaps.
Soul mate mind link theatrics
This is something only some people realise. Sesshomaru and Kagome have been shown not once, but twice to be doing this. Once while fighting for Kohaku's life and the last shard and the other in Naraku's body. Kagome and Sesshomaru had been shown to think in absolute synchronisation. He thinks half the sentence, she completes the rest. Absolute soul mate shit.
SessKag power combo
Shown a lot of time in Inuverse. Sess attacks and Kags completes. A small thing but their timing is insane. And is defintely the best power combo, far better than an InuKag combo.
Fight in Naraku's body
This was the time when Sess finally shows what Kagome means to him. Where she stands and how much he cares for her. She is his FIRST priority. Proof? When Rin and she are in simultaneous danger, he stands there infront of Kags for God knows how long, removing those snake things like he had all the time in the world and once she is awake he is concerned about her well being.
Sess: Those wounds, are those Inuyasha's doing?
And his disappointment in Inuyasha not being able to protect Kags.
Sess: As expected of a half-demon. He lost himself in the bloodlust.
Kags obviously considered Sess to be a friend at this point. A very close friend at that. Family perhaps? Their familiarity here was not missed by anyone. Her defending Inu and then still prioritising Rin over Inu were only somethings we realised this chapter.
The most important was her belief in him.
Manga exclusive,
Kags: I believe that you would be able to do it. Do not fall into Naraku's trap and play his cards that is what he wants. Only you can do this, I know.
Wow, Kags wow...just wow... It is the best actually. She does not believe Inu in this situation but she does Sess. She believes in his protection and she knows her influence on him. This speaks volumes. This shows her unreal connection to him and how they match each other instinctively.
Sess knows her influence. This is his weakness.
The mokomoko scene was truly Sesshomaru's best confession. For him who cannot say much in words, allowed her to fly on mokomoko. Something which everyone of us know has a heavy weightage for Sesshomaru. It is his weapon, his forever companion and his support when he is injured and tired. Offering such a thing to her for whatever reason was truly his way of showing what he exactly feels for her. He cherishes her the most and I could say even more than Rin. Trusts her the most and would jump in front of danger to protect her.
Which is only seen more when he asks her to stay away from the fight because she would be a 'hinderance'. Which means he could not fight if she is in the middle. He would be vulnerable and weak. Intersting, very interesting. Another time where he stood between her and a dangerous blood beast that Inu had become.
The best part was truly him getting concerned when she fell down from the top while removing Tessaiga and then when Magatsuhi tried to possess her.
His anger was so vibrant. "Get away from her!"
What a brilliant thing to say. The possessiveness. The will to protect her. The absolute anger. Brilliant. So much was spoken in those lines.
The best ending though was the SessKag power combo of Bakusaiga and holy arrow. Best ending. Inu was not even much involved in ending Naraku. It was weird how the titular character failed in finishing the main villain with his meido. Shows a lot what SessKag meant to RT.
Big brother
Yes, the iconic scene where fans of all ships shout out that SK is not a romantic ship.
Well over here I want to say that Kagome truly saw Sess as a big brother figure at this point. Part of it was because she still felt that she was in love with Inu and part because she was not receptive to her reactions to Sess and what he truly meant to her at this point. She feels an intimate connection to him but cannot justify the weirdness because she still feels a closeness to Inu so she thinks of him as big brother. Which was a very intimate thing for Kagome to say. She loves him like family and clearly places him higher than the rest of her friends only second to Inu. That was more of a declaring her closeness to Sess rather than a confirmation of her and Inu's relationship. Kags is not a vain character who does things coz they are convinient. She would not call a friend if they are not a friend. And certainly not a big brother if she does not feel so.
Sess actually was relieved, ecsatatic and happy when Jaken informed hin of Kags arrival as was seen in his expression. Very funny actually. Because next second he was called big brother and he was hilariously ticked off. He could not believe what he was being called. Lol that interaction though. It showed how close they ended up being. Even more close than he was to his own brother.
But he accepted the title even if with much pain in his neck and then was really offended when Jaken badmouthed Kagome.
Conclusion: No one badmouths Kagome.
Haaha....end of this long analysis. I tried to analyse it from the character's pov and found some interesting small tidbits and detail that RT had hidden in this story.
Thus I felt that SK would be a more natural ship maybe not outright. Since Sess loves her truly but does not understand the nature of the relation and Kags is still too much blinded by Inu filter a.t.m. Maybe given years when Kags will realise exactly what sort of love she feels for Inu. Which will happen because such a toxic relation like IK should not exist and then she will probably see Sess's love for her.
My Conclusion: SK is a defintive. It will happen with some time and care. When both would mature. But it will happen for sure. All the ingredients are there, the stage has been set just the players have to realise what they feel for each other.
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So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.
I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.
Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.
I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.
A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It
That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.
Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--
Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.
For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.
Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.
Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.
DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.
So why does it work?
It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.
The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.
(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)
And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.
Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?
That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor
The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.
I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.
The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”
Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.
Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.
One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.
It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.
It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.
Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.
Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.
It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.
Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again
This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).
Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.
Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.
How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!
Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.
*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING
The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:
It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.
It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.
Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.
Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.
Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.
It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.
Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!
Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.
It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.
IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.
#spiderman#peter parker#spiderverse#spidey#marvel#danny phantom#one day you'll see what i'm doing with it in the project i'm collabing on w/ my brother and then you'll all be sorry and hopefully impresse#mirrorfalls#asks answered#essays
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lonely heart - kevaaron au pt 4
oh look it‘s me, coming out of my dark hole to make you suffer with a super sad chapter with a nasty cliffhanger:) so get your tissues ready and enjoy!! okay first of all sorry that i didn‘t update this in a g e s and that it‘s rather short and for the cliffhanger, but i‘ll try to update it more regularly now:)
check this out for the other parts:)
trigger warnings: drug abuse, mention of suicide, mention of mental health issues, very sad aaron, mention of blood
“You were too good for me”, Aaron whispered into the void. “You were way too fucking good for me. You made me a better man. And I fucked up”
Aaron got up as he felt the tears burning in his eyes. He knew he wouldn‘t be able to sleep alone tonight. Like every single goddamn night since he left Kevin. Like every single goddamn night since he made the biggest mistake of his life.
„Taylor?“, the blonde haired boy murmered, „You up?“
„Babe, you know I‘m up. My girlfriend lives three states away, we talk every single day at the same time as you call your man. Not that I would be able to sleep when you call him, cause a) i love Day and b) you‘re always sad and high and end up in my room anygays, so did he take the phone darling?“
Taylor was Aaron‘s roommate and the closest thing he had to a best friend. She had been there for him every single day, cuddled him, held him while he cried and dried his tears afterwards. And Aaron did the same when she misssed her girlfriend too much.
„You do realize he is not my man anymore, I fucked that up. Big time. He did actually take the phone just to tell me to fuck off and stop calling“
„You could always go over there and say it in his pretty face. Didn’t say you can’t come over did he?Pro point: Might lead to making out“, Taylor said while taking him in her arms. „Plus another pro point: you‘d get sober again. And you‘re less moody. No offense but a Kevin-less Aaron is hardly managable, like you‘re either a whiny little bitch or you‘ll give me the death glare of the cenutry. Legit worse than Andrew‘s and I called him a cute little baby boo once when I was drunk and he almost stabbed me right there with a look on his face like I just murdered Neil in front of him“
„Tay, I take that as a compliment. And we both know Kevin’s a bit of a dumbass so he did not exactly tell me Not To Come over just stopp calling. Anyways I don‘t even know where he lives. And stop talking about me getting high, you do the same shit“
„Yeah but I know my limits and I have not the same history as you. And for the i DoN‘t EvEn KnOwS wHeRe He LiVeS, phone number. Now“
„O- okay“, Aaron said and told her Kevin‘s phone number while Taylor calmingly stroked his back.
„Neat, got him“, Taylor said after a while. „He‘s with the scary big dude and his adorable little boyfriend I think? I have their address right here, I think we‘re gonna visit them tomorrow cause it‘s like 4 am right now and we don‘t wanna rob him his beauty sleep plus we don‘t want to wake the scary big dude. And I‘m pretty sure the adorable small golden retriver boy could and would stab us“
„Did you just stalk my ex and located his phone at 4 am like fucking Garcias in Criminal Minds?“, Aaron said confused.
„Anything for you big guy. And as I said I miss Day‘s pretty face, preferably in your pretty face so you shut the fuck up about how stressed and depressed and lonely you are.“, Taylor chuckled as Aaron looked at her shocked.
„Well I miss Casey, preferable in your face so YOU shut up“, Aaron was never as good in witty remarks as his brother. Especially high Aaron.
„Babe I think it‘s time for you to go to bed, you‘re not fun when you‘re sad, high and tired. Come here, let me cuddle you, while you whiney little bitch sleep“
Aaron slowly went over to Taylor and into her loving arms, laying down, trying to fall asleep.
After a long while aaron drifted into sleep, just to be greeted by familiar smaragd eyes. In his dream Kevin and he never broke up. Kevin was on top of him, his hands gently discovered Aaron‘s body, touching him as if he was sacred, something to worship. Kevin‘s lips were at Aaron‘s ear whispering sweet nothingness. Aaron‘s hips moved against Kevin‘s loving touch. „Stress release“ Kevin called these holy moments in dawn. „Highlight of my day“ Aaron called them.
The dream was as beautiful as it was cruel. It was as if his body, his mind were as much refusing as able to believe that Kevin was gone. It was his own fault, Aaron knew it. But the ever present voice of his mother, disapproving and disgusting, in his head was just too much for him to handle. He thought - foolish as Aaron was - that the pain of living without Kevin would be better, less cruel, less painful. But he never knew real love and therefore never experienced its lost. Until that faitful day. Until Kevin took his bags and left.
Aaron was used to pain. The hot one after an extraordinarily vicious hit. The cold one when his mother died. The numbing one when the hunger was growing more and more unbareable. But nothing was even slightly as hard to handle as the loss of Kevin in his life.
Kevin was the first good thing Aaron had. He gave him a will to stay, to try, to give this stupid sport everything he got. And Exy turned into more mundane things like getting his eating routine under control or getting a more or less acceptable sleeping schedule. The dark days were still there, for both of them, and they would probably never leave them completely alone, but they got less. And when they did happen they would hold each other together.
Ever since he fucked up things with Kevin, Aaron had more and more dark days. The voice of his mother telling him he‘s a failure, the bored stare of his brother and Aaron convincing himself Andrew wouldn‘t even bet an eye if he died, the voice telling him the world would be a better place without him growing louder and lourder every passing day.
Logically he could say that the death of a single person wouldn‘t change much for the over all world population, expect maybe it‘s some kind of insane mademan dicator or someone important, but still. It made sense. All he did after all was fucking up, being a failure, never good enough, never perfect.
His lonely heart only screamed Kevin‘s name and he knew if Kevin didn‘t take him back, his life wouldn‘t make much sense anymore. Well he would definetly not tell Kevin that. He would not manipulate Kevin into loving him, because that wouldn‘t be much better than not having him at all.
Aaron woke up the next day around noon. He didn‘t really feel like getting up, like getting up was simply too much. But Aaron knew he had to. He didn‘t want to worry Taylor more than he already did. And it would end today. One way or the other.
So he got up, put on the first pair of black jeans he could find and the first sweater his hands could find. Ironically it was one of the sweaters Kevin gave him, on the third of december last year. It was one of Aaron‘s favourites as well.
„Ready for the big Day, small guy?“, Taylor said winking at him.
„Not really? What the fuck am I supposed to do there anyways?“, Aaron replied on his way to the coffee maker.
„Talk to him? Deliver one of those borderline cringe big speeches. Get im flowers. Break into his bedroom and say ‚Draw me like one of your french girls‘, naked of course“, Taylor laughed at the face Aaron made, listening to her suggestions.
„I think I like the big speech. I mean I‘m shit with words, but I‘m sure you want to help your boy getting ‚his man‘ back, right? Also what kind of flowers would you give someone you dumped cause the voice of your dead mother told you it was wrong and disgusting, which you never told him for obvious reasons?“
„Honey, you‘re so fucked up sometimes, I love you but you should go to a therapist or something. Also I‘d say sunflowers or roses? I don‘t speak flowers man, I‘m the tech nerd. Not the romantic one, the nerd. But we‘re gonna make a snazzy speech and you‘re gonna get your man back“
After their typical breakfast - if Aaron didn‘t forget to eat again - they sat down together on the living room floor, paper and pen ready, trying to write the world changing speech.
„Why is this so fucking hard? Why can I only tell him how much I love and miss him when I‘m high off my ass“, Aaron complained.
„What about you don‘t think about him that much. Just tell me what you love about him and then we write that down?“, Taylor suggested.
Aaron took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. „I loved him because he was the first one who saw me. Aaron Minyard. And not just the other Minyard, the lesser twin, the shadow of Andrew. He looked at me and somehow chose me. Even if he could have had everyone else. He chose me, even though I‘m not special. Kevin chose the failure when he could have had the first prize. He looked at me and saw something worth loving, worth keeping around. Hardly anyone could tell Andrew and me apart. But it took him less than a day to do so. Kevin is strong, so so strong and somehow chose the most fragile thing he could find, took it and made it worth soemthing. Kevin made me feel something. Not numbness. Not pain. Something warm and beautiful and living. He gave me a reason to stay alive. Kevin made my life bearable, he made my life beautiful. We were both broken and we would probably still be broken if we were together but we softened each other‘s edges. Kevin believed in me when no one else would. He knew how I felt, knew what I needed and when I needed it. Kev gave me love and safety and I kicked it with my feet. This man is like a god who fell for whatever reasons for a homeless man. And I know I don‘t deserve him but I also know I cannot live without him. And I know that I must tell him that before it‘s too late. If it‘s not too late already“
Taylor wipped a tear out of her eyes. „That‘s it. You tell him that and we‘ll get him back“, she said. „Can I hug you?“
„Sure you loser“
„Ah there is my boy“
They spent the rest of the afternoon writing down the speech, making edits here and there. In the end Aaron collected the pages and went to his room to change. He replaced Kevin‘s sweater with a simple black jumper, put on his Docs, got his keys and left.
Aaro did feel a little uncomfortable, stalking Kevin like that. But he knew this was his chance to fix things. This was his chance to get Kevin back, to make his life worth living again. Which to be fair was a bit selfish, but you are allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren‘t you?
Jean and Jeremy‘s apartment complex was a 15 minute drive away from the flat Aaron shared with his three roommates. Theirs was fanzier, obviously. After all Jeremy was a professional Exy player and Jean was some kind of semi famous artist or fashion maker or whatever. They could give Kevin the world. They could give him what he desereved. All Aaron had to offer was an apology and his love. No money. Not yet anyway. Just anxiety, depression and stress.
But if Kevin was willing to take his love, to give Aaron one more chance, he promised himself Aaron would make it count. He will tell Kevin how much he loves Kevin every single god damn day. Aaron will get therapy and work on his issues. Sober up and this time for good. He will do anything to be worth of god‘s love. Just that god in his case was a twenty two year old boy with black hair, forming soft waves at the end and a smile that will make the sun jealous. Eyes made out of smaragd. Lips so sinful and kissable.
Aaron sat down in front of the door, waiting for his courage to come back to him. He could do this. He would get his man back.
Hours passed, or maybe it were only minutes or seconds after all before someone came closer. Ever so slowly Aaron lifted his head, just to look in the ever so familiar green eyes, big with shock.
„You said to stop calling. You never mentioned face to face conversations“, Aaron said, his voice hoarse.
Kevin stared at him as if he was a ghost, a reminder of his past life, something he rather wanted to forget.
„Look I know I fucked up. I know I‘m not good enough for you. I know you deserve the world and I cannot give it to you. And when you look me in the eyes and tell me you don‘t feel anything for me anymore, no love or hate or affection or whatever humans feel, I will turn away right now and go and never come back. Never bother you again. But if you allow me to apologize, if you however decide to gieve me one last chance, I prepared this whole ass speech for you“
Aaron was sure they could hear his heart beating against his chest, roaring, screaming to return home. To return to Kevin where it belonged.
Kevin‘s eyes wandered to the floor, his fingers automatically closed around his left wrist. A nervous habit. Just another little part that makes Aaron‘s heart ache.
Slowly, almost painfully slowly, he lifted those unbelieveable beautiful eyes and met Aaron‘s golden ones. Kevin studied him and the world around them stopped.
Out of the corner of Aaron‘s eyes he could see Jean going still, his breathing too calm, too even. It‘s the same thing Andrew does when someone fucks with Josten. At least his death would be fast. Or slow. Whatever. Aaron didn‘t really care, without Kevin it wasn‘t worth anygthing anyway.
„Why“, Kevin said after what feels like forever, „Why would I forgive you? Why would I give you another chance? Why would you think you can come back here just to fuck me over again? Aaron I loved you, I really did. I always will. You were my first love and maybe, yeah maybe, my last one. But right now I can‘t. I just, I just can‘t. Please leave. Please leave me alone. For now. Maybe, one day we can talk about it. But right now I cannot handle the thought of you to leave me. To tell me all these beautiful lies, to cut me open and leave me to bleed out. I love you“, tears were running down Kevin‘s cheek. Tears Aaron one day, a long time ago, promised himself he would never let Kevin feel again. Pain. Sadness. Everything because of his failure, because of his weakness, because he‘s a fucking piece of shit.
„Thank you for giving me a reason to stay. Jusst remember that you were my light, my warmth, my happiness and I never stopped loving you. Never will. Please just be happy“, Aaron replied as he turned around to walk to his cars.
When he was sure he was out of ear shot, he let himself feel. Feel the pain. Feel the loneliness. Feel the numbness and the cold and the hatred. It was in that moment, that moment where he was alone and nothing more to lose, that he decided that it was enough. He would end it. End it tonight.
„Thank you“, he texted Taylor. „I‘m glad I didn‘t eat you in the womb“, he texted Andrew. „You were not so bad after all“, he sent to Neil. And lastly „Thank you for taking me under your wing“, to Nicky. They would understand. It would take them some time but in the end they would feel better. They would be happier without them. Because at the end of the day he caused them pain and wasn‘t really worth a thing.
So when he got in his car, tears running uncontrallably down his cheeks, he knew what he had to do.
#all for the game#the foxhole court#the raven king#the king’s men#kevin day#aaron minyard#ship: kevaaron#kevaaron
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New fic universe premise (pregnant trans!Roche)
So, yesterday I came upon a list of pregnancy prompts (feel free to send me some!) and I decided to make all the prompts part of the same universe that would involve pregnant Roche.
Now, idk how many of you know this about me, but pregnancy used to SERIOUSLY squick me out. Like, there’s a lot of dysphoria stuff related to it, but the idea of me and a baby anywhere close to each other? YIKES! But somehow this fandom/pairing has made me... idk, more comfortable with the idea? To the point that pregnancy is a plot point in a few of my WiPs. So when I saw the prompts, I figured, ‘hey, why not?’
Now for the spoilery part: (don’t read if you prefer to be surprised!)
So with the prompt for pregnant Roche, I had to figure out how the Roche in my head would get there, especially considering my own issues with it, which he might share some of in a world where he’s a transman. And what I decided is to make it PAINFUL first lmao. Sorry? So basically, I have a few specific installments in this series planned out. (again, don’t read if you don’t want spoiled):
Iorveth and Roche decide to have a baby. They’re old retired men in Vergen, they’ve been raising Anais and Boussy, they’ve been together for several years now - they decide they’re ready. Then they have to talk about who carries the kid (which is a standard part of elven baby discussions, but is a bit more surprising to Roche). Both of them have the physical, biological capability, but in Iorveth’s culture, there’s a certain amount of... idk, honor? in carrying a child. So they decide Iorveth will carry.
But wait, didn’t you say this was a pregnant!Roche story? Yes, yes I did. XD Just wait. 😇
Iorveth is SUPER excited about having a baby with Roche. Babies are a big deal to a species as longlived as elves, especially now that there aren’t as many of them as there once were. And Roche loves him enough to want to have a baby with him. That’s pretty magical. So he tells EVERYONE. And I do mean everyone. If he feels safe with you? He is telling you all about how he’s having a baby with Roche. It’s kind of annoying, tbh, but he’s so excited!
So excited, in fact, that maybe he gets a bit careless. idk exactly how yet, but Iorveth gets injured. Badly. Bad enough that he physically cannot carry a child anymore. Which definitely leads to a depressive spiral, but also everyone around them (cares about them) pities them, and Iorveth hates that.
I think he gets injured protecting Saskia, which he hates that he regrets doing. She wasn’t in dragon form at the time, so she like, legit needed the protection? But also, he can’t have a baby anymore. Their future is ruined.
Saskia feels HELLA guilty and fretful and like... Iorveth is her BFF. This hurts.
It takes Roche a little bit, but he suddenly remembers, ‘hey. I can carry a child. We can still have a baby, we can still do this. Iorveth can still be happy with me.
Which leads to Roche getting pregnant. Idk if my ideas about elven reproduction (i.e. eggs, because ovi is fun) will apply here or not, because tbh I think Roche would find the actual making a baby bit with his parts awkward and uncomfortable. Like, he wants to do it. He genuinely wants to have a baby with Iorveth and he wants to make Iorveth happy and he’s kind of excited about doing this. But it’s also just... uncomfortable. He usually doesn’t think about that part of anatomy like at all.
Then he actually gets pregnant and once they’re sure, they share the news. I think a lot of people are a bit shocked (”wait, the Boss can do that??? Can all humans do that?” “No, Fenn, that’s not how it works.”), but excited for them.
Then we get idk cute stories while he’s pregnant? This part is a lil fuzzy to me.
So, what do Anais and Boussy (who are now 12) think? Anais is pretty excited, honestly, caught up in the hype with everyone else. Boussy... well, Boussy’s kind of dealing with a lot at the moment, so he’s not thinking very hard about it, but he’s like “uh... cool?” But of course, things aren’t that easy.
So what’s going on with Boussy? Well, before the story (maybe about a year), Boussy lost his left arm. Not a fun time. BUT he has a really, really awesome prosthetic that’s both magical and mechanical and gives him the ability to manipulate magic! So he’s started training with Triss and Philippa and he’s honestly pretty busy.
Which leaves Anais the odd one out. Everyone’s excited about the new baby and now Boussy has magic, and what does she have? (Fight training with Maeral? ‘cause Anais is a heavy hitter badass, but she doesn’t quite get that yet). She tries to be happy for everyone, because that’s what she’s supposed to do, but eventually something has to break. Which leads to tantrums and heart to heart communication and appointments penciled into their calendars to spend time with Anais specifically.
Did I mention Philippa? Yes, yes I did. Because I have a whoooole idea for the role Philippa plays in this universe, but idk if she’ll get a whole separate fic or if it’ll be woven into the background of the more pregnancy-centric ideas.
I really, really wanna write Philippa’s POV, tbh. Philippa flees after Witcher 2, trying to recover from all her plans shattering around her and losing her fucking eyes.
But the fact is Vergen is able to stand against Nilfgaard. And that’s exactly what Philippa wanted - an independent state that could resist Nilfgaard and that would view magic favourably. And she decides she can’t not be part of her plans coming to fruition. So she returns to Vergen, even though she mindcontrolled Saskia and most everyone except Saskia really hates her. But ultimately, everyone defers to Saskia’s decisions and Saskia decides to give Philippa a second chance. But she has to earn her trust back.
The worries of many a dwarf, elf, and human are soothed by the knowledge that as head of Saskia’s guard, Iorveth is watching Philippa like a hawk. Or... an owl? A fox? Some metaphor.
Because we’re all thinking it: yeah, I think Saskia/Philippa happens at some point in the 4 years before the pregnancy stuff takes place. Maybe Philippa helps when Saskia feels super, super guilty about Iorveth’s injury? idk.
And then of course, they gotta HAVE the baby. I know there’s gonna be some emergency surgery involved, just because, but honestly, idk anything about their baby. Anyone have any thoughts? Ideas?
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I feel like this is an annoying question cause it rly come down to determination and everything but like girl how did you get consistent with a healthy lifestyle in terms of food and working out😩😩😩I struggle so much with staying consistent but the annoying thing is that being healthy makes me feel so much better on a daily basis but it’s just hard to keep up with it😔
Aw boo it’s not annoying at all! It was hard as hell to get to this point. I honestly would have never gotten here if it wasn’t for the Panasonic cuz I haven’t had to work and I’m not going to pretend that it wasn’t a factor for me to start this the way I did.
Sorry this is gonna be long cuz idk how to put it into shorter words but if you need to ask questions like do not be afraid to ask them. I get why it’s so hard because I’ve literally never done this before and I think that’s why I’ve been posting so much because it’s all so new to me and I feel like damn this is all it was like this is all I had to do like I’m having fun doing this you know. And I know how hard and scary it seems to start but it doesn’t have to be. Like we make things go complicated for no reason and I hate that
And it’s because we want the quick fixes which duh I can’t blame anyone for that but considering we don’t all have access to drop 10k on some lipo those quick fixes probably aren’t happening tomorrow either so the least we can do is make today count and that’s what I had to get through to myself in the first place.
First of all I had to work on my mental health first. There were things that I just never realized about myself that needed to be realized. And honestly if I hadn’t started coming on here I probably would have never gotten to this point. Like it wasn’t just the diet and the exercise it was a lot of things.
Then I found this channel
and just applied a lot of things she said (you can skip the fiber stuff. I tried it and it l didn’t notice anything different)
I usually eat between noon and 8 pm. Sometimes it’s not perfect but don’t beat yourself up too bad about it.
DRINK PROTEIN before a work out. Swear it made a difference immediately.
Do you not eat things that you don’t like. I have done a lot of stupid diets. I did keto I’ve done this other really stupid diet I almost did a stupid diet in between this but don’t do it. It’s tempting because they always promised dramatic weight loss but I promise you don’t do it eat foods that you like. 
Now what I did was substitute foods so instead of eating A baked potato, I was swap The potato out for sweet potato because a sweet potato counts towards your servings of veggies and fruits.
And I still eat out a lot but the thing is what I eat out is usually like chicken and rice so it’s really not that bad. like I don’t like salads so I don’t eat salads but a lot of diets are like all you need to eat a salad is it a salad for lunch no fuck that I hate salads.
Also those less carb tortillas were a godsend because for things that have bread sometimes I’ll substitute the bread for the tortilla and of course it’s not like fluffy like bread is but still it’s fine like it’s really not that much of a difference. Like I legit cannot eat like I used to I get so full and that’s the thing listen to your body the most. your body will tell you when you have had enough. 
Also drink water. And black coffee counts towards your water intake. I drink my morning coffee as a cold brew with caramel syrup and sea salt and it counts towards your water intake. So does the protein. And tea.
Most importantly have fun. People frame getting healthier as a chore. That was the problem for me. Because I would do stuff and I would be so bored but now that I’ve been going to the gym it genuinely feels good and I feel like I’m having fun doing the work out like it’s like a little game for me. have fun with it have fun with eating. have fun with working out. like make this an enjoyable time and that’s I think the biggest problem is we frame it as it I don’t have to do all that I just want to be able to lose the weight or I don’t have to go and work out but it feels good have fun. 
I’m telling you literally do what works for you. Do not let other people tell you to do dumb crash diet‘s or that you shouldn’t eat certain things Because for me that’s what made it harder before. Like it would be like keto like oh you can’t eat fruits what kind of diet tells you can eat fruits don’t listen to that shit that’s bad you need fruit fruit is good for you.
If you want a burger eat a fucking burger do you want fries eat fries do not let some thing tell you to not eat something you enjoy just because you’re doing a diet. Restricting yourself isn’t going to make it any easier and if anything it’s going to make you panic and you’re going to go on a bed and that’s way worse eat what you want when you want it so that later you’ve already had it and you’re like OK whatever.
I would say portion sizes are so much more important so what I try to do sometimes is to fill up more on veggies and then I will eat the stuff I enjoy after so that I’m already kind of full but then I still get the thing I want and it’s nice like a little treat. 
Also one of the things I realize is that once you start doing this your body craves less. Like outside of having the munchies I don’t really crave food like I used to. That’s why I’m telling you to not deprive yourself of things you enjoy because pretty soon you might not enjoy them that much like I don’t really care for burgers anymore actually like I can eat them but it’s not something I would pick on a day-to-day basis anymore last time I had a burger I was like eh 🤷🏾♀️ like you’ll see your body will change on its own just listen to it as you go.
Think of this as a journey. It isn’t going to be short and it isn’t going to be over by tomorrow but the least you can do is make sure you have fun with it. It’s not a chore and it’s not a punishment. your body is good in all forms. this isn’t about weight loss this is about changing your lifestyle so you can be the best version of what’s already there.
#the plastics 💋💋#all carb diet 🥗🍜#cccombo#I know this was an essay but there wasn’t a better way to put it#it’s an entire process
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so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO
listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.
but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters
(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)
the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.
ANYWAY.
@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”
(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)
(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)
i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”
so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.
she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.
melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.
so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.
eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.
so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —
@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”
i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me
gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)
she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).
gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”
(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)
gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.
it’s fckin wild.
these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.
i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.
sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.
i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —
they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.
and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.
#i just love them whoops my hand slipped#the majnificent adventures#gus tag#@ melissa wtf is our tag we had like five#how do i not remember five things#anyway i got into my feelings tnt don’t @ me
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hii!!!! i’ve been on ur blog only for a lil while but i had to send an ask bc HELLLOOO !!! girl. ur fics are so good. literally so bomb. cream of the crop. let me live in ur brain i wanna be capable of this shit girl this is IT !!! my fav is six thirty ,, i was on the edge but ya converted me to a hyuck bias . where i belong tbh he’s a menace like me- king shit!! but six thirty literallly so amazing!!! haechans characterization in it is so good and he’s so cute and the relationship dynamic is so well written and cute bae !!! also just asking - legit no pressure for real last thing i want to do is have u think i’m requesting or pressuring u - i was just curious if the positions song fic collection is going to be continued bc ik u have an old nct masterlist but yea just curious literally !! don’t answer if u don’t know :D BUT MAIN POINT IS U ARE AN AMAZING AND INSANELY TALENTED WRITER !!!! thank you sm for ur fics appreciate them so so much
........anon i lov u i think ... hi omg *deep breath* HIIIII THANK YOU SO MUCH WTF WTF not gonna lie the six thirty praise hits super fucking hard right now because . i am actually Deeply In Love with haechan like . i would say exponentially more than i loved him when i wrote that fic .... it's bad for me y'all .... but YEAH OKAY MOVING ON . i rly do love that fic a lot it has a special place in my heart .... it means so much to me ......... hhHHHHH thank you so fucking much omg (more under the cut sorry i wrote kind of a lot dfjkhgskd)
ALSO !!!! i don't feel pressured at all dw dw your vibes are wonderful and i can tell there's no malice behind it 💖 will say with 100% certainty that i have absolutely every intention to continue the positions collection !!! i rly do have a v like... kinda personal connection to that collection bc that album means a Lot To Me dfjksgjkd so !! yes, 100%, i intend to finish it at some point!!
just as a lil......fun secret between u and me (i say on a public blog with thousands of followers jdfghlkj) the next one i'd probably post would be west side (the jeno fic i added in the like "extended version" post or whatever, if you don't wanna go check) because i actually . have it fully planned i just kept feeling some sort of block when i was trying to write it months ago so i temporarily shelved it !!
but ALSO . another bonus secret bc i like u: i am v strongly considering changing at least one of the upcoming fics to being about haechan 👀 when i made the plans for the fics, i was kinda going off of 1) who i actually like and enjoy writing for and 2) the desire to keep the members involved kinda diverse? like i didn't just want it to be like . the same members over and over again yknow? but ... since then ... i was kinda like . well i don't rly want to write about some of these members anymore ... and so i most likely will end up changing one to being abt haechan!!!! (possibly 2 but i'm not fully sure abt the second one yet) (yes, you can ask which one(s) if you're curious, i won't mind)
BUT YEAH sorry this was long sfkgjsdk i got excited 😭 i actually adore ppl like u and messages like these like they make me so happy to see !!!!
OKAY FOR REAL I'M SHUTTING UP IN A SEC !!! but like . just as a teeny weeny psa: if i made, like, a promise or a commitment to writing something, i cannot imagine any regular circumstance where i would like . just Not Do It. this goes for:
quarantine chronicles pt 3 (believe it or not it is fully planned i just haven't started writing)
any of the positions collection fics (even if the member might change, the fic will still get published)
and, of course, any commissions i've received and accepted (like . i am Going to write them i do not care if it kills me)
now of course if something like. absolutely terrible happens to me that might change the situation but like . the things i consider like "absolutely terrible" are very improbable so . TLDR; IT MIGHT TAKE ME SOME TIME BUT I TRY EXCEPTIONALLY HARD TO KEEP MY WORD !!
anyway . thank u for this very lovely message i lov u and i hope you have a WONDERFUL day / night depending on when you read this!!
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Amber and orchard for the fall asks!
amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.
Hahaha this is like cracking open pandora’s box. I feel like I have too many.
I think my primary one though is I absolutely despise capitalism’s affect on witchcraft. I DO NOT think it’s made it more accessible for people, I feel like the only very minor positive thing is that you can now tell people you are a witch and into tarot cards and they won’t find you as weird anymore. Otherwise people don’t realize how capitalism is a force that actually strips culture of it’s meaning in order to sell it for profit and it’s affects on this practice has left a lot of damage not just to some aspects that are sacred but towards the earth since it’s a practice that works really closely with nature.
(added a read more to spare you poor scrolling souls from my rant lol)
Anyway what crapitalism does is it takes a culture and turns it into an easily consumable concept- almost like a brand, so that as long as you slap something ‘witchy’ seeming together then it qualifies as that brand. It boils everything down to an aesthetic. And no one has to actually believe in it anymore, or practice it or make any effort towards learning it or incorporating it into their lives. As long as they buy into the brand or embody the aesthetic then they count. Sometimes you can try to express that some traditions and materials and such do have meaning (I mean of course they do no one just sat around and made this shit up) people kind of have this nihilistic view that’s fed from this weird modern capitalist society that like: nothing truly has meaning anymore. But it’s like they are feeding this consumerist culture by repeating this mindset and gaslighting others when they appropriate magical practices or other cultures that are still very much alive and still tended to (often by indigenous people still being prosecuted) that are focused on working with the earth.
Then you see this ripple effect on places like instagram or the big mainstream like magazines and shit and do not get me wrong cause there are a lot of cool and creative people that practice this that are on there but there is so much cashing into this field now and oversaturation that comes with seedy and shady background stories that show creators being completely disingenuous because they really just want to make money. And then going back to my point that this practice works closely with nature, capitalism exploited the fact that we like working with certain herbs, woods, crystals etc and is overharvesting and mining and tainting the very tools that we want to work with, with greed, pollution, child slavery etc. And it’s irritating cause you can make your own tools and don’t have to import anything and you can tell everyone how bad some industries are but they don’t listen cause they are buying into capitalism’s lie that they can sell you anything at a price, even if it’s sacred. Then if you try to defend your point they tell you that this is the only way it can be accessible to everyone, but it’s NOT accessible to everyone, it strips it away from people that could be working with these tools for generations and protecting the climates that these guides and resources for the tools grow in. It also disempowers people in their craft to begin with because witchcraft is about finding that connection to your own power and magic and the bridge with the universe’s power and magic and when you venture down into this practice you will find tools and guides local to you and find ways to make your own magical tools but capitalism disempowers us by telling us that we are not legit until we can put a price tag on it. So people don’t believe in their ability to find the sacred in themselves or nature, they just keep consuming whatever herb bundle or tool capitalism spits at them because it’s the only way to feel legit in this culture.
And then since it’s seen more of a title or aesthetic and less of a way of life or set of ethics or practice, you have people interested in this spiritual or witchy community that don’t do any work or want to work on themselves that bring their shadow baggage into it. So you get racism seeping into it, homophobia, I also am so fucking confused how TRANSPHOBIA has made its way into here like transfolx are magical by just existing they are walking manifestations and works of alchemy like wtf; and like if you guys were friends with any queer people and hung out with them, they get the idea of magic, ritual and manifestation so well cause so much of their daily life already embodies some of that. But that’s a whole other topic. I vibed well with my queer friends on this and they were the only ones I could talk to about it before witchcraft became mainstream.
Then in general it’s seen as like radical if you tell people that are supposedly practicing witches that our energies should be focusing on restoring balance and we should put our energy towards healing nature or towards human rights (since humans are apart of nature) you will literally have witches being like: don’t tell me what to do!!! Like!! Gurl wtf lmaoo I don’t know how people claim to be empaths or into this but they don’t see that maybe if there was a so called “Great Awakening” to “Empower Ourselves” that’s probably what the fucking point was? Not to say that you need to spend every waking moment protesting (another contribution of capitalism- showing some kind of documented proof on social media that you stand for something instead of little daily actions embedded into your everyday life) but you can find ways to change your daily patterns to make space for the societal change that’s coming to bring in a more compassionate world and better community. But since we are so indoctrinated in this consumerist culture, so many people don’t know how to incorporate their values into their everyday lives anymore. It’s all about quantity and showing off on social media. And that negatively impacts witchcraft cause witchcraft is a daily practice you do little things for everyday that just gets embedded into your everyday life, but people get confused and think to be legit it’s something you gotta buy into or show off as proof with stylistic rituals and of course for many people that’s exhausting or financially inaccessible.
And for the sake of clarity cause the internet hates using critical thinking sometimes, of COURSE you can have a fun and flashy craft I’m not saying you can’t, but there is a massive imbalance here I am pointing out with how people are developing insecurities because they cannot attain this aesthetic overnight without dropping a shit ton of money. Yes witchcraft is very aesthetic-heavy but that’s because it’s a really creative practice that people pour their creativity and energy into and capitalism saw a way to put a price tag on it and now it’s confusing everyone else that’s mistaking this as something else to consume in exchange for money.
And then I hate that I feel often I cannot talk about this cause instead of people using their critical thinking braincells and realizing how bad capitalism is, they somehow turn this conversation into thinking that I just don’t like when a culture becomes mainstream cause not everyone should enjoy a culture or whatever and it’s like fucking hell of course I would LOVE more witches and to have more people into celebrating nature or finding their own magic and connecting to the universe and whatever, but capitalism isn’t helping at all. It’s separating us from it’s connection and the meaning behind it’s practice. (Also one day I dream of living in a witchy town or community so yeah, the more the merrier, but right now with capitalism, this method is not the way to get into this practice lol).
You really see the negative effects of capitalism marketing witchcraft because people now treat it as like this commodity they can jump into without finding a way to genuinely connect with it cause it’s all just a gimmick until the next zeitgeist. This either manifests in two ways where they think they can just buy a book or read some posts and not do any work on themselves or thinking on stuff like cultural appropriation so when they start experimenting they might bring harm to themselves by evoking spirits that do not want to work with them, or taking in some sacred herb or substance that can fuck them up leaving deep psychological damage or death- or they can harm others in a myriad of ways.
Then the other way it manifests are people feeling like witchcraft is suddenly inaccessible because you need money to practice it because capitalism put that veil over their eyes. It’s now another thing gatekept by money. So they try to reclaim it by being like: it’s just a title you can slap on yourself; but they give capitalism more power because that’s what capitalism was doing all along by stripping the meaning. Stripping it down to a concept that only matters as a label that evokes a brand or idea but not an actual practice.
In a way it’s very counter culture to not buy into the aesthetic or put in effort anymore. Even if you want to put in effort you feel like you are not good enough cause you will never fit capitalism’s standards of quantity and money to spend to showcase it on the internet to feel legit. So people develop this no-effort approach to it. And ONCE AGAIN for clarity for the internet’s lack of critical thinking and jumping to conclusions I am NOT referring to anything like spoony witchcraft or energy based witchcraft (I am an energy witch primarily thank you very much) I am talking about people calling themselves witches but then when you want to sit down and chat about the craft they have a blank stare cause they were never serious and sometimes judge you for how much you cared about it cause they don’t really believe in it anyway. Not even cause it’s woowoo it’s cause capitalism doesn’t make you believe any anything anymore. The only thing it wants you to believe in is money and what you can consume with it.
And then when people online try to talk about this and point out it’s a practice these guys get angry with you like you are gatekeeping but it’s like BITCH it’s a FREE FUCKING PRACTICE like GO TALK TO A TREE go COLLECT A ROCK YOU FOUND IN THE CLEAR STREAM OF A BABBLING BROOK and maybe you’d CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Capitalism making it seem like you gotta buy all this shit to be seen as legit is not what this practice is about and it makes me upset how there is like this massive group of people that want to access this culture but are so lethargic about actually doing anything because they are disenchanted and it’s really because they are mentally bogged down by capitalism’s grip on it making them feel like they aren’t shit cause they can’t afford all that bullshit that ain’t gonna help them anyway so they just call themselves witches to get them 2 drops of serotonin and feel included but never really go anywhere beyond that cause capitalism strips the fucking joy and meaning out of everything. The only reason why this bothers me is cause I could be staying in my lane drinking my herbs and shit and chilling but then people either judge me for the effort I put into my practice’s aesthetics thinking I am shallow and buying into this or they think I am being reckless and dangerous believing in something not real by practicing a craft that tbh has a lot of dangerous aspects to it so it’s not rated E for everyone. Like you can fit it to what you want it to be since it’s your journey but it’s always been a bit edgy in some ways and it’s annoying when you get people judging you now for your lifestyle or they wonder why you are so invested cause they don’t get it.
Anyway that was a rant but you asked for it lol.
orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.
Get some more weed
Thanks for the asks lol. Kept the last one short haha but it’s true I have been trying to manifest for a while after my quarantine rations went out. Here are the autumnal asks if anyone else wants to ask or reblog them!
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2x2 rewatch
Eeeeehehehehe, why the fuck am I laughing this hard when I realized it was the roadkill compost episode? That is not in the least funny, it’s actually pretty gross, but I’m literally paused 3 seconds in chortling to myself so hard that I’m having to wipe away tears. ...I think the stress is getting to me. Anyway, back to fictional Wyoming!
It’s actually a pretty genius business model, to be honest. Taking a sadly repeating resource and using it to enrich the soil? Tough work, no doubt, physically and mentally, but a smart and very niche thing. I hadn’t thought about the fact that cleaning up roadkill would have been part of Walt’s job as a deputy. Lucian said in S6, in his fantastically circuitous way, that it had been 10 years since he and Walt had worked together (if I remember correctly). Which... wait, is that right? Had Walt really only been sheriff for 4 years when the show started? Which is a single term, before Branch ran against him. I think I’d had the impression that he’d been sheriff for longer than that. Or is my math just super borked? (A very real possibility.) Who were Walt’s deputies before these three? Branch has probably been a deputy for a while, Vic was hired a few months before the show and it isn’t clear for Ferg but it’s implied at least a chunk longer. So who were his deputies for the rest of those 4 years? (Aaaaaand this is how I grow OCs. Shit.)
She names the roadkill? Eeeeeh...
Branch, you douchecanoe. You are very clearly not welcome in her home anymore; the fact that she hasn’t moved the spare key isn’t a fucking invitation to break in and invade her privacy, oh my gods I hate you so much. This is predatory behavior. You need to either go through official channels with the department to do a wellness check or FUCK RIGHT OFF into the deepest reaches of hell. Excellent plan, fucking off.
Henry, I adore you beyond measure. “Thanks-taking.” Vic... Seriously? “God, you people really hold a grudge.” Somehow, I think they’re kind of entitled to, what with all of the wars, genocide, stolen land, racism, broken treaties, and the like. Get bent.
Genuinely, Henry’s dry as anything sass is quite possibly the best thing about the whole show. We didn’t get nearly enough of it during the later seasons. And his little smiiiiile at having made Walt chuckle, oh my heart.
The “Hands up!” O.o “Hands down!” little comedy gag is totally sold by KS’s face, haaaa. And Ferg’s bafflement, but collected response to those truckers thinking he was a rentboy was solid.
I kind of have to applaud that sex worker’s gumption to just try to take off in the truck. Not the best thought out plan, to be sure, but gutsy.
Ok, Branch has just had a line establishing that they’re not in Absaroka, and then Vic and Ferg look annoyed/confused when Walt tells them to cut the sex workers and customers loose, but then Branch finishes with, “Absaroka County wishes you all a fine evening... at home.” So are they in Absaroka, or not??
Kudos to Walt saying, “Which will allow you to get out of here. If that’s what you want.” Not falling completely into the savior complex bs is good, and acknowledging that she is an adult who can make her own decisions, even if they’re ones he would wish she wouldn’t is good. ........If only he could extend that same courtesy to his own daughter.
Branch, wtf. It’s a felony to even have burglar’s tools. Legit, it’s a felony punishable with up to 3 years in prison or up to $3k, or both. Unlawful entry is 10 years and/or $10k, and I’m pretttttyyyyyy fucking sure you don’t have a warrant to be in Cady’s house. FUCK OFF. You giant douchecanoe. (Min and I also have a headcanon that the random coloured empty frames are Branch’s fault, because they don’t really go with any of the rest of the decor, and we hate them. So we decided that when he saw the Andy Warhol style print she had that he got those for her and she just never got around to taking them down after they broke up.) And isn’t tampering with someone’s mail a federal offence? You are the worst.
Aaaand then Walt calls the Collettes showing Ross Lanten’s wife video of him with prostitutes “interfering in his marriage.” Okaaaay. Because helping get a woman and kids out of what has several hallmarks of an abusive marriage is “interfering,” I guess. Not the happiest about that word choice, I’m not gonna lie.
Aaaaaand then Whitish is super racist, and I hate her. Henry handles it with grace, but fuck, I cannot imagine how wearying that must be. And Branch makes obnoxious and offensive assumptions (playing to his strengths, natch), and Henry once again demonstrates how he is also the Actual Best.
Nobody has heard from Cady recently, but the tiny little hesitation Henry has before he confirms that he hasn’t heard from her either is so good. LDP is so good. Just from that, it reinforces how much that bothers him, and that he’s worried, but also that he really doesn’t want to talk to Branch about any of it.
“If you do, will you let me know?” “I most certainly will not.” Such a classy way to basically tell Branch to fuck off and get wrecked.
A lady threatening Henry with a knife and I should not be focusing on how great he looks in a vest, but heeeeere we are. (I do love that brown vest.) And even after she is drunk and rude and racist and threatens him, Henry’s look when she says that she knew the dead man still has concern and compassion in it. Waaaaaah.
Do I remember what Walt did to his hand? Was that something from this episode that I’m not remembering right now, or are they actually having some intra-episode continuity and that bandage is him still recovering from the start of frostbite? [Dang it, my Xbox controller just pooped out. Now I have to go swap it out for the other one and stick this one in the charging dock. But I’m so cozy in bed with my jar o’ tea and everythinggggg. Boo.] ... [It has been long enough since I wrote that last bit that my Xbox has shut itself down twice in the interim. Oops. I’m super great at focusing.]
Fuck, that “I was some place I shouldn’ta been” hits hard. This whole seen in rough.
Aaaahaha, why is the fact that Ferg is also standing there looking at Walt when he wakes up so much funnier than if it had just been Vic? And his little grin. And Ruby with a mug of his toothbrush and such for Walt! Rubyyyyy! (Holy shit, the fact that they have this little set up is alarmingly adorable, and I heckin’ adore Ruby.) And then she sasses Branch, and I just want nice things for her.
Walt’s “If you want,” to Ferg came off to me more like, ‘waste your time if you want to,’ (though that could well be my own issues projected” but I’m proud of Ferg for running with it. And I do appreciate Walt calling the sex worker a lady.
Of course, he pulls Henry into his bs, getting him to solicit a sex worker. Why does Henry put up with him? I’m sorryyyy, but the pointing is so awkward and I cringe so hard, but what else is he going to do, I guess? And how does he recognize her anyway? Did Walt take a picture of her before letting her go, or something? It doesn’t seem like he even got her name, to pull up a picture from a rap sheet, sooo... Why am I even worrying about it? And at least Walt doesn’t think that it’s not rape just if it’s a sex worker.
The flashback scene sure hits hard, too. Damn. I’m trying to remember the last time I saw anybody other than Vic actually pull on a glove in consideration of fingerprints. I think there might have been one time or something, but nothing comes readily to mind.
For all that I rag on Walt for just collecting his assumptions and taking them to the bank, there is heavy irony with him now laying out the reasons he’s not arresting Whitish, because there is reasonable doubt in the form of the Collettes.
Ooooooope, and then Branch brings up Cady. I sure this can only go really well. Aaaaaaaaand of course Walt has one of his Longmire Epiphanies and just walks off in the middle of the conversation, such as it was.
Does a college registrar’s really have your birth certificate on file? I’m pretty sure I didn’t have to submit a copy to mine, but I also don’t really remember? But that seems weird.
Ah, the bandage was about the frostbite. I appreciate the continuity.
Hmmmmmm, Cady leaving her phone at home when she drove to CO seems unlikely. It seems unlikely as a generality for her generation, and on practical levels (directions to the precinct and such?), and just... That’s pretty hard to buy. If I don’t want to talk to somebody, or even a bunch of people, I’d ignore calls or even block numbers, but her not taking her phone gives the impression that there is literally nobody that she would want to talk to, and that plays into this really weird bit of characterization void that the writers fell into of Cady just not knowing any single person other than her dad, Henry, Ruby, Branch, and Ferg, and I guess Vic. As if she just doesn’t exist outside of her relation to one of them. She doesn’t want to talk to any of the 6 of them, so there is not a single other person on the planet who she would want to be able to talk to/have them contact her? There’s not a single other person on the planet that she knows who if they called and said, “I have an emergency, can you talk/help?” that she wouldn’t want to be available for? Bullshit. The entire rest of the series when she’s onscreen is showing how much she cares. She’s a fucking Hufflepuff, and she’s not going to leave her damn phone at home while she drives 6 hours away into another damn state. If you so desperately need to that she’s not even seeing his call, have her leave it in her car when she goes into the Denver station. Like, unless she has a second phone that she did take, I’m not buying it. Even as an attempt at “she’s so caught up in her mother’s murder now, oooo, Longmire tantrum and singular focus’ characterization. Just, boo.
#Longmire#cady longmire#walt longmire#Henry Standing Bear#The Ferg#Branch is such a tool#episode commentary
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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander
Thoughts on Ep. 502
Watched this episode after winning Wynonna Earp trivia (fuck yeah, The Shit Tickets!) at a bar, put on by a queer af podcast, followed by going to see a queer af movie, and was all ready to get my Beauchamp fix... And it was like oh here’s a taste and a hint that we’re gonna end up in a story line similar to what we’ve already done multiple times, but now on to the menfolk.
For real though, this episode was like an OL greatest hits clip show. It had all the stuff we’ve seen before. A time traveler who wants to go home? Check. Rape PTSD? Check. A man being a dad to a kid who isn’t/might not be his? Check. That same man being the absolute worst? Check. Claire being reckless with future medicine? Check. Townsfolk questioning Claire’s medical knowledge in favor of the local Man of Importance? Check. Jamie trying to be on both sides at once? Check. A villain who seemed to have died the previous season and should have fucking stayed dead? Check.
We’ve literally seen all of this stuff before.
For a show that spent the first part of season two claiming to be a political drama and then last season claiming that they “weren’t political” I see we’re back to just leaning hard into politics that have direct parallels today.
No fucks left to give about the system Murtz is kind of my favorite Murtz. Like this dude spent his whole life living by a code and an oath and was fucked over by the system so many fucking times that he’s ready to just burn it all down. Curious to see how they walk the domestic terrorist vs. freedom fighter line with him for the rest of the season.
Got all excited about the bread title card because yay medicinal mold, but of course, the lead character was relegated to the B story.
Old timey medicine baffles me. Like the fact that bleeding someone was like a catchall remedy boggles the mind.
I feel rull bad for Mrs. Whoeverthefuck though. She tried.
Also, shit like this makes me be like, yo Claire, you sure you wanna stay here? Jamie’s really not all that and a bag of chips. But you do you, boo.
Speaking of Jamie, his hair looks really good. A thousand fruit baskets to the new wig person.
Lulz at Knox thinking the Gathering was about being loyal to king and country. Dummy.
Srsly though, Murtz Valmurtz is really getting under their skin. Is he like the *only* Regulator leader?
The convo between Knox and Jamie is literally as relevant today as it is in the 1770s. But yeah, the show IsN’t PoLiTiCaL.
The fact that fuckers think those at the bottom should be happy with their lot because “lol it could be worse” need to be punched in the face and taken out of power. Stat.
Also any time someone in power talks about civility as a reason not to rise up against injustice, I want to punch them. Because they deserve it.
I want to punch a lot of things.
This whole episode is very Les Mis, tbh.
Literalol at Claire covering dead guy’s face and not his body cavity before Bree comes in.
Aw Bree, why you gotta be a buzzkill? We were cheated of badass Doctor!Claire in S3. Let us have this.
Also, yeah, Claire, Bree’s fucking right. Which you’d think you’d know by now what with alL THE FUCKING TIMES YOU’VE BEEN CALLED A WITCH. AND NOW YOU’RE UPPING YOUR GAME TO LIKE NECROMANCY?!
Also the more she says no one will find out the more annoying it is because *clearly* someone *is* gonna find out and we’re gonna be back on the “she’s a witch!” “I’m not a witch!” “you literally have a dead guy in your closet!” merry-go-round again.
Today in most on-the-nose shots ever: How convenient that Marsali just happens to be doing some butchering right there, right then.
Petition for the show to go full Shondaland and just turn into a backwoods medical drama with Claire and Marsali, and all the others (cough the men cough) can fuck on off.
Tarring and feathering is like the old timey version of #AlwaysPunchAFascist but dialed to 11.
Oh the baggage behind Jamie saying redcoat man will someday wear his scars with honor that none of these fuckers know about...
Ok so clearly the English know that Claire’s a doctor so whenever shit hits the witchy dead dude fan, can we please have a quick resolution and not that dumb af “Claire goes to jail and of course her cellmate is a lesbian because Diana sucks at writing queer characters” nonsense?
Man Jamie is *not* subtle with this convo at the jail. Like Knox is right there and he’s just like hey buddies, I have people and we’re Scottish and y’know how we feel about protecting people vs. obeying the English.
I AM SPARTACUS FITZGIBBONS!
Aaand, naturally, the fuckwit preaching civility is the one to kill a man in cold blood. Rise up, motherfuckers. Rise up.
THANK FUCK ROGER IS A TERRIBLE SHOT BECAUSE IF THAT SQUIRREL DIED I WOULD LEGIT QUIT THE SHOW. RUN AWAY AND BE FREEEEEE YOU PRECIOUS LIL WILDERNESS FLOOFER!
Roger is, and I cannot stress this enough, the fucking worst.
He’s like look how shitty I am at being a soldier but then bitches about having to try to learn. And then he bitches about how dumb it is to shoot at squirrels as if being able to hit a squirrel wouldn’t make hitting a much larger thing, like a man who is shooting back at you, that much easier. And also, how the fuck does he think they get meat to eat? Shooting it, you twatwaffle.
And he’s like so fucking butthurt about being left behind. Like no shit, asshat. You’re bad at being in the past and have made no real effort and you whine a lot and are generally the worst. Of *course* you were left behind. Stop being emo about it and maybe actually try.
“He doesn’t respect me, Bree.” Yeah, no shit. Because you’ve done LITERALLY NOTHING to earn his respect. WHY ARE YOU SO TERRIBLE IT’S LIKE THEY’RE INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO MAKE HIM SUCK.
He also is like butthurt that his wife is a better shot than him when she gets the turkey he misses. How the fuck are we supposed to ship this. Ugh.
#BreeDeservesBetter
Oh Bree, sweetie, Jem won’t get hit by a car, but there are like eleventy million ways to die in the past. Just stick with the “you want to stay with your family” stuff.
Roger clearly doesn’t want to stay and is gonna pull a Fred and make Bree feel bad about wanting to all season, isn’t he. Fahkin’ doucherocket.
“I want to go but I’ll stay for you and look how magnanimous I am as I whine about it and make no effort to acclimate to the time.” Take your martyr card and shove it, Rog.
Shorter Jamie Fraser: “If you stand for nothing, Knox, what’ll you fall for?”
I’m already over Roger singing all the time tbh. Mostly because it reminds me that soon he won’t be able to do that anymore and we’re gonna be subjected to like half a season of him being more insufferable than he already is.
Wait, was Joan already born last episode? Or was there another time jump? Is Marsali preggers with baby #3? I lost track.
I love this scene between Claire and Marsali with my whole heart. Marsali especially.
CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A WHOLE SHOW OF THESE TWO BEING ALL BADASS AND DOCTORY TOGETHER!?
Although, quick question, how fucking long is Claire planning to keep that un-embalmed body lying around in an un-refrigerated surgery/root cellar? Just curious...
Because you know someone’s gonna find it eventually and that’s gonna be a whole to do and I really need to stop being preemptively annoyed at plot lines that haven’t actually happened yet.
And with all this talk of plowshares and swords, I really am going to be singing Les Mis for days...
How long have these biddies been living on the Ridge? The fucking Leoch folks spent like a minute with Claire before they were like yep, she knows what’s up. These folks have apparently been here for months and are like loool, pass. They live in the fucking woods. You’d think they’d be more open to Claire’s brand of medicine.
Omg are they like the accidental antivaxxers of the Ridge?
#VaccinateYourFuckingKids
I mean, Bree, I think there’s some difference between Claire pretending to be a dude doc and telling folks to wash their hands and Otter Tooth.
Season 2 Claire and Otter Tooth on the other hand...
Ok so Jamie needs more men so that means next week is AHS: Beardsley Farm and then maybe (hopefully) instead of being like lol jk you can all go home, it actually goes right into the battle thing. Still not sure if they’re gonna do Roger getting hanged as the mid-season big thingy and then do the Bonnet nonsense in the back half or keep trying to do both of those at once.
Hey, Roger, pro-tip, next time you see Morag MacKenzie, maybe don’t fuCKING MAKE OUT WITH HER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.
Claire’s totally right about how they should go back. Honestly, they should. But instead of talking with her like Claire is now with Roger, he’s just being all moody about how he’s bad at the past and wants to go back. You’re shooting yourself in the foot, broski.
Oh hey Husband the Quaker. And is that a fellow Quaker named Hunter with him? Are we gonna get Denny and Rachel this season?! Please and thank you that’d be great, I love them.
Murtz talking to his squad is full on Enjolras being like don’t worry fam, Marius will stand and fight with us. His place is there, he’ll fight with you.
The two very different but very similar ways Murtz and Jamie approach being Laird of their squads is fun to explore.
Bree lecturing Claire about changing the future by saving a few backwater hicks like Claire didn’t spend years trying to fucking change all of Scottish history is a bit rich. Like writers, we get it, you’re trying to be like oh snap, wait for the consequences of this bread!science! But like come the fuck on. We sat through all of season two.
“You’re a good dad, you know that?” Oh man, I’m getting that déjà vu about a shitty man getting kudos for being a good dad to a kid as if that negates all of his shittiness.
Oh hey, Bonnet’s back. Clearly we couldn’t have just let him die last season. Gotta drag shit on for longer than it has to. This is the [Outlander] Way.
If they were gonna keep him around as a villain, they shouldn’t have (in addition to all the other reasons) included him raping Bree. Jamie, Murtagh and Bonnet all making choices within and outside of the law to various degrees in order to make their living in the Colonies would be a really interesting contrast. But nope, gotta just go all in. BeCaUsE tHe BoOk.
Also I hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns the Jemmy’s paternity stuff. Le sigh.
Remember in season one when the show was about Claire and she was in episodes for longer than 10 minutes?
I miss Claire.
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The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 3
Summary: You, a fantasy-loving LARPing human from Earth, got dropped into Middle-Earth with no recollection of the place except for bits and pieces. Lord Fabulous Elvenking has given you three days to find the portal from which you came, with the aide of his son Legolas, who you've taken to calling "Blue-Eyes." If you don't find the portal, you're to be taken back to the palace for a swift execution...
Chapter No.: Chapter 2
Key:
[Y/N]=Your Name
[F/N]= Friend's Name
[B/N]= Bro's Name
[S/N]= Sis's Name
[M/N]= Mom's Name
[e/c]= eye color
[h/c]= hair color
[s/c]= skin color
Notes: I actually researched the languages using a website called elfdict,but I don’t know if the orcish is correct...
Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused, Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir lives, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)
Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely
Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.
Rating: Teen (14+) for now
Starting at dawn every day, you, Legolas, and the troop of Elves searched repeatedly for the portal. You threw yourself off of the tree countless times. You laid in the spot for hours. At one point, the Elves had even used some kind of sheet made of leaves and their supernatural strength to fling you up like a trampoline to see if the portal was aboveground.
Nothing happened.
As the days wore on, you grew more and more bitter. Every move felt exhausting, and like there was no use: you couldn't get back to your family.
You couldn't live here. There seemed to be no point of your existence anymore.
Somewhere around sunset of the second day, Blue-Eyes noticed your sudden lack of enthusiasm. "May I ask what troubles you?"
You scoffed. "Why do you care? I'll be dead in about forty-eight hours anyway. What I feel doesn't matter."
"I beg to differ," Legolas took a seat beside you; you scooted a couple of inches away. "You are in our world now, so you will go to our gods for judgement when you die."
You frowned. You'd always been kinda an atheist. "The Valar?"
Legolas nodded. "Yes. The Valar. Your feelings before death will determine whether or not you'll be given a good place among them."
You rolled your eyes. "You're kidding, right? They'll judge me for being pissed off and upset 'cause I can't get back to my own world to see my family, then killed just for breathing on Lord Fabulous's precious trees? They can go fuck themselves."
His face was priceless. If you hadn't been so pissed, you might've laughed. "...Lord... Fabulous? And, while I have my doubts about your recent hand gesturing, I do know that what you just said is most likely vulgar. Have respect for the Valar."
You snorted. "First of all, fabulous means somebody who loves dressing in the best and most well-liked outfits of the time, while also being very uppity and acting like they're God's gift to humanity. Second of all, yeah, that is vulgar, and no I will not take it back. Third, how fucking dare you, sir, to tell me to respect some candy-ass bitches up in the sky who'll judge me for having feelings."
Legolas shook his head. "Alright, ass is a word we do have here, as is candy. I can get the gist of that meaning. I cannot force you to have respect for them, especially when they brought you here."
You glared at him. "Yeah, whatever. Just leave me alone."
Blue-Eyes sighed. "As you wish."
You turned away, scrunching up into yourself against the night chill.
On the edge of night...
All shall fade...
With a huff, you curled up where you were and tried to fall asleep.
**
A beautiful copper dragon sat before you on a mound of gold. "Do you think flattery will keep you alive?"
"N-no..." Said the silhouette of a very small person.
"No indeed," Confirmed the dragon. He began to prowl around. "You seem familiar with my name, but I don't remember smelling your kind before. Who are you, and where do you come from, if I may ask?"
The dream flipped.
You stood between two Elves in silver robes, one of which was Blue-Eyes, looking sullen. "Tell me," Said the other Elf, "Where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him."
Legolas's crystal blue eyes glistened with tears, but he held them back. He'd never seemed like one to cry. "He was taken by both shadow and flame. A balrog of Morgoth."
The dream--no, vision-- changed again.
Before you was an old man in blue-gray robes with a long gray beard and pointed hat, smiling kindly up at what looked like a child. You couldn't turn your head to see. "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he ever early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
The visions flashed in your mind quickly now, too fast for you to discern much from them.
"Sauron's forces are massing in the east."
"This is no mere ranger! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the throne of Gondor. You owe him your allegiance."
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king."
"I ain't droppin' no eaves, Mister Frodo!"
"I choose a mortal life."
"The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!"
"He is Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, the true King under the Mountain."
"You have the gift of foresight. What did you see?"
"Arwen..."
"What did you see?"
"I saw death. Your death."
"But there is also life. You saw my son."
"You have my sword."
"And my bow."
"And my axe!"
"If this is what the council decides, then Gondor will see it is done."
"Things that were... Things that are... And things that have not yet come to pass."
"Did he offer you a bargain?"
"Yes. I refused."
"A bargain was our only hope..."
"Have you forgotten what happened to Dale?"
"I am fire... I am...Death."
~ominous as fuck time skip~
You woke with a start, the dragon's words still echoing in your head. You knew over half of those names, deep in your mind... Sauron, Morgoth, balrog, Thorin, Frodo, Aragorn, Gandalf... You knew the voices, too. But you couldn't place any of them.
The Elves were already awake (With the sun as usual.), readying their breakfast of weeds.
You frowned. Why should you be concerned with why this place sounds familiar if you weren't going to be here much longer? You got up, and prepared to search for the portal-- you didn't want any breakfast, especially when it was nothing but dandelion fluff and sparkles.
"You are not breaking your fast?" Blue-Eyes asked you, and at first you thought he was using Elvish slang.
"You mean I'm not eating breakfast?"
"If that is how you say it in your world, yes."
You shrugged. "I'll be dead later anyway. What's the point?"
Legolas sighed. "To keep up your strength to find your way back. What if you arrive back on your world in the middle of the wilderness, like you did here? You will have no supplies, and I doubt you know much about foraging."
You huffed. "You know what? Screw off. I don't want anything to eat, and you can fucking deal with that."
He looked up in exasperation, probably praying to his Valar for you to stop being such a nuisance. "You use that word an awful lot."
"What word?"
"Fuck."
Then you almost busted out laughing, because a fancy pretty sparkly Elf, even if he was deadly, saying a modern cuss word was too funny.
He blinked. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
You snorted, crossing your arms. "Do you even know what the definition of that word is?"
"No." You gestured for him to come closer, then whispered the meaning into his ear. He sprang back wildly with wide eyes and a profoundly disgusted expression. "Dear Valar, I will never repeat a word you say again unless I am sure of what it means!" His eyes widened even further. "Wait... You just told the gods to perform impossible sexual acts on themselves! And the day before you told me to..." He stopped short, appalled.
"Yuh-huh. Just now gettin' that, goldie? For shame upon me." A thought struck you. "Wait, do Elves even have sex like humans? Do you even know what I'm talking about?"
He blushed a little. "Find the portal. Quickly." He awkwardly left, sparing you a quick glance like "wtf."
You grinned maliciously, then went back to your search.
By sundown, nothing was found. You stared down at the patch where you'd originally landed, wishing for all the world that you'd been born normal, with maybe a slight love for fantasy. Why? Why had you wished, for all of your life, that you'd been transported elsewhere? Now you were, but... You didn't have your family. Without them, you couldn't function right. You just couldn't imagine never seeing them again.
The Elves were already leaving, except for Blue-Eyes. He stood by your side for a minute, as if you were both staring at a grave. You might as well have been. "Bury me here, will you? Maybe my family will find my body. And kill me as non-messily as possible, please? Like, an arrow to the heart'll do."
Blue-Eyes stiffly patted your back. You went ramrod straight-- you'd always hated touch contact. "I will pray for you." He followed his comrades, who were already a good ways back to the river, spread out through the forest. You half considered running in the opposite direction, but you'd be dead before you even so much as got to the ridge where the first of the big dogs had attacked you.
You sighed, and forced yourself to move forward; you gasped as your ankle slipped into a rut, and you yanked it out, arms spread wide for balance. You gave the ground the dirtiest look you could muster, which quickly faded to stunned silence. You leaned down, and scraped more of the dried leaves away...
Your breath caught in your throat. "Blue-Eyes!"
Legolas was at your side in a moment. "Did you find it?"
"I don't know!" You stood and gestured to what you'd found. An inscription, in a language you couldn't read. "It was buried under the leaves."
"Can you read it?"
"Obviously not, dumbass. Is it Elvish?"
Blue-Eyes knelt, tilting his head slightly to read it. His hand grazed the writing. "It is a form of old Elvish, used in the time of Gondolin. This has been here for a very, very long time." He gave you a look. "Forgive me, I'd thought you'd written it at first." You thought about smacking him upside the head, but with everybody suddenly around you again and ready to attack, you thought better of it. Legolas turned back to the writing.
After an almost unspeakably long amount of time, you got impatient. "What's it say, dammit?!"
Legolas shook his head slowly. "I am sorry. Truly, I am. If we had seen this earlier..."
"What does it say, Legolas?!"
He stood, and looked you in the eyes, sympathetic. "'The way is shut. There is no going back. The way is shut, until next fiery moonlight.'"
Your face lit up. "R-really?! Then that means all we have to do is wait for a full moon, right?! That's usually what it is! Full moon at midnight for stuff like this, in all the books! Do you think Lord Fabulous could extend my sentence--"
"[Y/N]," It was the first time he'd used your name, and it made you freeze. "The night you arrived, the moon was full. But it was also a Firemoon. It means you cannot return to your world until the next Firemoon."
Your hopes slowly fell, but you were determined not to succumb to the panic that was quickly rising. "H-how much longer till the next one?"
Legolas put a hand on your shoulder, trying to get you to understand.
"Firemoons only happen once every thousand years, [Y/N]." The words were like being hit by a semi going full speed on the highway-- sudden, fatal, and unbelievable. "You cannot go home."
Everything suddenly seemed far away, like you were seeing this from someone else's perspective. Everything went quiet, at least to you. The world seemed to spin. You dropped to your knees, and you were vaguely aware of Blue-Eyes saying, "I am sorry..."
You didn't know what to do. I can't go home... I can't go home...
I can't go home.
Your breaths came in panicked, short bursts. Even if it killed you, you took off running. Maybe if you ran for long enough, you'd wake up from this nightmare. Then you could pretend you were in some fantasy world with your family this time. You expected to be shot in the back, but you heard Blue-Eyes shout an order in Elvish, and instead, about three or four individual Elves followed you.
You don't know how long you ran; tears streamed from your cheeks. Your lungs burned. Your legs felt like Jello. You collapsed at one point, and screamed, though you couldn't hear it. You screamed until your throat was raw. You were vaguely aware of a few Elves nearby, but you ignored them.
All shall...
In all the chaos, it wasn't long before you blacked out.
...Fade...
~emo time skip~
When you woke up, it was midmorning. Birds chirped endlessly on, the happiest goddamned creatures in the world. A couple of Elves talked quietly amongst themselves in hushed voices and in Elvish. You were laying on your back, and somebody had covered you up in a blanket. The smell of something good-- not that anything was, at this point--filled the air. It smelled like cinnamon and walnuts, like Christmas.
With a sigh, you cracked your swollen eyes open. Legolas sat cross-legged beside you, checking his bowstring and polishing the wood. He smiled half-heartedly at you. "You are awake."
Obviously. You didn't say anything. You didn't want to talk. Or think.
Legolas sighed, placing his bow across his lap. "We must head for the palace. My father will wonder what is keeping us."
Yeah, gotta kill me as quick as possible... Death is better than this, anyway.
Legolas gave the order, and the Elves started to pack up. You laid monotone and still for the length of it, until Blue-Eyes gave you the signal to get up. Then you walked slowly behind them, every step a chore. You'd barely reached the river, and you were exhausted. And still, that damned song was going through your head...
Home is behind...
The world ahead...
All shall fade...
You knew that your dream last night had been connected to this place, whatever it was. Did that mean this song was, too? You were half tempted to ask Blue-Eyes, but you decided you weren't worthy of talking to any of these fantastical fantasy beings, even if they were going to kill you in t-minus some hours.
The company suddenly halted. Blue-Eyes had a hand raised, and all the Elves's weapons had materialized in their hands. Blue-Eyes was quiet, listening...
An eerie howl cut through the trees, chilling you to your bones. Was that one of those big dogs that carried orcs? A horn followed the howl, and all the Elves strung their bows and readied their weapons. "Gundabad yrch!" Legolas proclaimed-- you were going to assume that yrch meant orcs. He went on to give a bunch of other orders, and the Elves took off running; if it were up to you, you'd've stopped running and let the dogs have you for dinner.
But apparently Legolas seen that, and grabbed your upper arm to drag you along beside him. Damn him... The rest of the Elves were suddenly ignoring Blue-Eyes's orders. Half of them went off into the trees in the direction of the horn and howl, and the other half formed a protective circle around him-- and you, coincidentally.
Blue-Eyes barked an order at them which they ignored, but all of you stopped short when you seen what awaited you on the far bank; the way back to the palace.
Six massive wargs, more wolflike than the ones from before, with orcs a hell of a lot uglier than the ones from before sitting atop their backs, with black bows and jagged, haphazard swords. In the direction the other Elves had gone, there was more howling. Shit. If you cared about your survival right now, you'd've been terrified. But you almost enjoyed the thought of death, if it hadn't been so gruesome.
Blue-Eyes scanned the bank. There were more orcs nearby, on foot, and several more wargs. One of the Elves moved faster than you could see, snatching a sleek gold horn on his hip and blowing hard before Legolas could stop him.
The Elf-- it was the one that'd found your hair dye repulsive the other day-- hardly got a note out before an arrow lodged itself in his throat. The note trailed off into a gurgle as blood sprayed from the wound. Droplets splattered onto you, and you recoiled; you'd never seen death. You'd been to a funeral once or twice, but never this. He fell backward, and the river swiftly carried his body away.
Legolas shouted an order, and the Elves readied themselves for battle. But there wouldn't be one just yet, despite the death of that Elf. The lead orc-- a nasty, pale gray orc with swollen eyes and a protruding mouth, tall and thick, his forehead covered in scars-- stepped off of his warg, which was bigger than the rest.
He came about halfway before stopping. "A truce?" One of the Elves asked-- Common was probably hard to speak for orcs, so they resorted to it to keep from being understood. It made sense.
Legolas didn't take his eyes off of the orc, but shook his head. "That is Bolg, spawn of Azog the Defiler. He would not make any truce with us, nor would any other orc. They are beyond reason, and think only of blood and death."
Bolg... Azog... Now you really knew these names... But why?
"Albai," The orc snarled; his voice was deep. "Dorzog ajog lum trov!"
"Emme uva!" Legolas cried. "Sin nor yara ana Aran Thranduil!"
Thranduil... You knew that name. But the fact that they were conversing in orcish and Elvish was astounding. One must've came from the other, and you were just going to assume that it was the orcish that came from Elvish.
Bolg's already disgusting face scrunched up into a frown. "Vol lat diig!" The orc raised an arm; you recognized the movement as a signal to fire. The Elves scrambled around wildly yet gracefully to avoid the arrows, but you barely moved; an arrow got you right in the bare part of your upper arm, and another grazed your ear. Still, you didn't move, praying for one to hit you in the head or heart or something. You hardly felt the pain.
As the battle took place around you, you zoned out. You caught glimpses of a bloodied Elven corpse, or a dismembered orc, and of course, blood was everywhere. The river ran red. You just wished it would end...
A grunt nearby brought you out of your trance.
It was Blue-Eyes, being pinned down by a warg's paw on his chest, another on his left arm. He flipped the dagger in his good hand and stabbed it violently into the warg's shoulder. The beast howled in agony, but only pushed down harder; Legolas's eyes widened as he realized the knife was stuck. The warg snarled, and opened its jaws, savoring the taste of fear before it would bite down...
None of this is his fault. He shouldn't have to die.
The warg had dismissed you as unthreatening. One of the Elves lay dead on the rocks nearby, a longblade in her hand as she stared with unseeing eyes to the sky, mouth agape. You snatched the weapon from her already-stiffening grasp. It was heavy. But it was sharp as hell.
In two leaps, you'd reached the warg, which looked to you in confusion, then recognition, with a growl. You brought the sword down, slicing deep into the creature's face. It wailed in an echo of a voice, and released Legolas, pawing at the wound; Legolas whipped his bow out like an OP follower and shot that dog point blank.
You let go of the hilt, stunned. Blue-Eyes inclined his head. "You have my deepest thanks, [Y/N.]. You saved my life."
You just nodded in shock.
Legolas raced back into the battle, leaving you to your own. Another horn blew, this one like the one the Elf that'd been shot first had blown. A barrage of arrows flew from the trees, felling every orc and warg in seconds. Some grazed you, but none touched any of the surviving Elves.
A she-Elf in a dark green tunic, carrying a longbow, loped out of the woods with her comrades. She was beautiful, with red hair so long it went past her waist. "Legolas!" She cried, and he responded in Elvish; again, you couldn't understand what they were saying, and it was really starting to piss you off.
"[Y/N]," Blue-Eyes called to you, and you belatedly looked up. He and the ginger were approaching you sollemnly. "This is Tauriel, Captain of the Guard. She will take you back to the palace and explain what happened here."
Ah... Death at last.
"Tauriel," Legolas turned to her; something shone in his eyes. You recognized his spark, but not hers, but the thought quickly left your head when you registered what he was saying. "Tell my father that they saved my life."
"What?" Tauriel looked impressed, and bowed her head to you. "You have my thanks, mellon."
"Perhaps he will spare them from execution in repayment," Legolas pointed out, and Tauriel made an 'o' face.
She bowed respectfully. "I will make sure of it, my prince."
Wut.
Oh, right. Blue-Eye's dad was Lord Fabulous, king of these Elves. Of course that'd make him a prince. Prince Legolas Gr... Of the Wood... Rea... The thought was like an echo. You couldn't catch it.
Legolas nodded to you, and Tauriel lead you away from the carnage of the river battlefield.
~time skip~
"Saving my son does not grant you my utmost favor," Lord Fabulous glared down at you like you were a nasty piece of gum he'd stepped on in flip-flops. "But it does warrant some form of reward. I am sure you wish for your execution to be cancelled?"
On autopilot, you nodded. You didn't want to die, but you didn't want to live. You just wished you'd never have existed in the first place, that way none of this would've happened.
Lord Fabulous Elvenking snorted, like he was hoping you'd just ask for cake before you were beheaded. "Of course. Take them to their cell."
Tauriel wasn't as rough as Legolas, or even any of the guards had been, but she still held you firmly. "Would you like a change of clothes? I could also arrange for a washbasin to be brought to you."
You just nodded. Couldn't you just dissipate? But, if it'd taken nineteen years for this wish to come true, then it'd take another nineteen years for you to disappear. You were an Elf now, so that should pass in one painful blink of an eye...
"I am sorry that you could not find the portal," Tauriel told you as she locked the door to your cell. "I will have the guards bring you something to eat at once."
You laid down on your cot, curled up, and closed your eyes. You heard the guard come and deliver the food, then leave quietly, but you still didn't move. You didn't move when Tauriel brought you clothes and a bucket of water and rags, you didn't move when Blue-Eyes came to thank you again, you didn't move when a rat came and took your cheese. You just laid there, staring and feeling dead on the inside.
You refused to eat or drink for the next few days. You slept, mostly. When you were awake, you were crying silently. You dreamed of your family. You grieved. Your muscles cramped from sleeping in one position for days. Your stomach felt like it was going to eat you alive. Your mouth was as dry as sandpaper. A hollow ache had settled in the core of your torso, between your heart and lungs; a pulsing orb of sadness, regret, and the wish to disappear. A couple of times, you passed out from hunger while laying down. But you were an Elf, so it'd be hard for you to starve.
You kept count of the days by the cycle of guards exchanging meals. Every tray held different things for different mealtimes: fruits and bread for breakfast, cheese and bread for lunch, and a thick vegetable soup for dinner. About nine days went by before anyone came to check on you, and by that point, you were hysterical on the inside. On the outside, you were catatonic.
And you reeked, because you hadn't had a shower in like, awhile.
After two battles.
So you weren't at your best.
"My guards tell me you refuse to sustain yourself." It was Blue-Eyes. "Do you realize how much of an offense that is to his majesty? He allows you to live, and yet you seek death out deliberately."
You said nothing. Hell, your eyes didn't even move. With a sigh, Blue-Eyes moved to your bedside. "Ah, I see you have also refused to bathe..." You didn't crack a smile. Even on the inside, you hardly felt a twinge of amusement. You felt... Empty.
Legolas surprised you by placing a hand on your cheek. "You miss them, don't you?"
Tears welled in your eyes. Dammit stop making me have feels. Ah, but feels you had, my friend, and you started bawling into your pillow. Legolas shushed you, and petted your head and told you it would be alright. You don't know how long you cried, but at one point, Legolas and Tauriel switched places, even though she clearly didn't want to and sucked at emotional talking.
When it was Legolas's turn again, you'd finally gotten to the nearly-finished state of hyperactive wheezing. "How long were you holding that in, I wonder?" You still didn't answer. He gave you a sympathetic smile. "You saved my life. Let me help you save yours. Get up. You will eat, even if I must force it down your throat, and once you're full, you'll bathe. After, I will take you for a tour of Mirkwood. You'll be living here, now... I suppose it's only right you learn how to navigate your homeland."
Finally, it clicked.
"Wh...What did you say...?" Your voice was hoarse from underuse and crying, but it still worked.
Legolas gave you a concerned look, like that much crying might've damaged your hearing. "I said I will take you for a tour of Mirkwood--"
You sat up; too fast, but you sat up. Your sugar dropped. But you had to know. "Mirkwood... Where is that?"
Legolas frowned. "East of the Misty Mountains, west of Erebor, home to the dwarves and the King Under the Mountain. North of Ithilien, Gondor, and northeast to Lothlorien, Ithilien, and Rohan."
Oh fuck.
"Wh-what is this place called? In general? Collectively? Like, the whole continent?"
Legolas seemed to finally realize that you were crazy. "Middle-Earth."
Oh hell.
"Holy shit..."
"What is it?"
You couldn't remember it clearly. Hell, you could hardly remember it at all. But what you did remember finally made sense. Tolkien's fantasy masterpiece that no one can surpass... The Hobbit... Lord of The Rings... The Fellowship... Smaug, Thorin, Bilbo... Aragorn, Arwen... Thranduil, Legolas, Tauriel... Oh gods, Legolas! "I-I... The books... Oh, gods..."
"Mellon...?"
You promptly fell face-first off the bed before any half-assed explanation could be given to poor Golden Boy.
"[Y/N]?!"
...
Home is behind...
The world ahead...
And there are many paths to tread...
Through shadow, to the edge of night...
Until the stars are all alight...
Mist and shadow...
Cloud and shade...
All shall fade...
All shall...
...Fade...
Tag List:
@tesserphantom @thedragonghostofmordor
#legolas x reader#legolas x you#au#LARP#LoTR#the hobbit#legolas greenleaf#orlando bloom#orcs#wargs#elves#eldar#chapter 2#theartofbeinganeldar#fanfiction#romance#angst#fluff#gender-nuetral#wild#misfit#reader-insert#middle-earth#realization#poor blondie#pippin's full song#but you dont remember it#dont worry you hear it again years later cuz of pip#aw shit spoiler#ronanstolkienfam
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Fallout 3:
Game, makes it very obvious that this isn't the way to go:
Me, a dumbass: I see I cant walk through here but those rocks look easy to scale
Game: you cannot go this way, please go back
Me: D:
Me, thinking to myself: I wonder if I would be able to survive this fall..
Charon: be careful
Me: I'm always careful ok, lord, asdfghjkl almost fucking died fuck
"I paid 2k caps for charon to protect me, but here I am... babysitting this ghoul, bcuz one shot and hes down, I gave him 19 stimpaks but does it help? NUUUH, he just HAVE to fight every fucking bug."
Charon: this place is not safe
Me: no shit/its the wasteland, nowhere is safe/you say this about my house too/you don't say
"Did I... did I really get stuck on some fucking rocks?!? Ok no fuck you, this, this is why I save constantly. Ok well no, I save constantly cuz charon is a weak bitch."
"You have the texture of 'fuck off' written all over yourself, and yet... my marker tells me to walk here"
"Oh wow, glitchy bushes... heh bush"
"Oooh, looks like they used pavement here... or is it the game's way of saying 'please stop scaling the walls, theres npc on this road', bcuz aiit"
"Oooh I see people, they're green, better holster my shishkebab... who named that weapon anyways?"
"Hello fellow humans, how are you doing?"
"Oh god... I remember this shit place, uuuggghhhhhhhhhhh... I dont WANNA talk to some old tree fuck ok? I played Ocarina of time, I dont need anymore tree creatures talking to me... except that one in dragon age origins, hes cool."
"Noooooo, I dont wanna help youuuuuu"
Some old tree munk dude: it's been a while since anyone visited us--
Me: what, I just grabbed this note from a scavenger? I thought..
Father birch, the bitch: he doesnt like waiting
Me: well the punk ass bitch can wait forever
"Omg one of the options are 'ha ha ha! What the hell are you wearing?' This game really gets us gamers, like, thank you. You put my actual thoughts into the game"
"I've said this before and I'll say it again, why does all the old people legit look like raisins?? Its like someone who's never seen an old person, draw one based on only what they've heard... wrinkles and tired"
"Tree father birch, tha bich"
"Treeminders? Me too, I mind the trees"
" 'We're His people', like I'm sorry, treeminders is a religion."
"Ok ok ok, so, they're named after trees... and my character is called Elm, bcuz it's a pun on my name... I swear if some weak ass bitch took my name imma burn this tree bitch down"
"I've been here less than a minute and I'm already lost"
"Oh my God... its Groot"
Old man birch: he is the one who grows--
Me: like most men in the morning
"I'm actively looking for someone named Elm"
tree fetish man: we keep him safe from those who wish to exploit him--
Me: I might, I think I did once in a bad playthrough...
Old raisin dude: we shun technology and--
Me: ah, you're amish, but fucking loco.
"Aiit so, i love this game, and you can see they're moving their lips to the words, they blink and move their eyes... they're like legit good.... but why are you a raisin, dude"
"Purification ceremony? Is it because I slept with Nova? It is, isnt it?"
Old man raisin: you drink the sap
Me: sounds like a specific kink, but with extra steps.
Nasty tree man: the sap will clear your mind and body
Me: unlike other fluidly things to drink from beings, those will give you poisoning
Birch the sap guy: I assure you, nothing bad will happen to you
Me: uhuh, that doesnt sound rape'y at all
"Can... can I sit in his chair? Imma sit in his chair. Nothing happened damnit"
Father of the sap people: please drink from the sap basin
Me: bitch, look at this! Its nasty nature soup. It looks like hermaeus mora soup
"Hey ho, let's go"
Game: the basin of purification is filled with some sort of thick, viscous sap.
Me: thanks, I hate it
"Woo my character is high"
"Does these people spawn here? Like make kids and shit?"
Father creep: soon you will pass peacefully into sleep outsider--
Me: imma stop you right there, excuse me???
"Oh cool, where am I now? Oh god, it feels like I'm on nuka shine"
"I'm lockpicking a door up that's called 'damp cave', and I won't even say the joke.... hehe vagina"
"Oh crap oh frick oh shit!! Mirelurks!! AAA KING"
"Ooo nuka quantum "
"Oooh! I didnt even see the creepy old tree dude, I was like where the fuck is he but lol, I walked past him ehehe... fuck hes creepy"
"The only time I've ever heard the word Mariposa is from my friend's nickname for her brother and also that one Barbie movie"
"Imagine your god calling you a weirdo"
"I'm not even gonna repeat that sentence, all I wanna say is that 'that's some fucked up porn shit fam' and let's leave it at that"
"Imma kill the tree dude, he wants this"
Old father raisin and his raisin wife, argue:
Me, stuck to listen: please let me move
The old raisin tree couple: yes let's ask the outsider
Me: please don't
Leaf mother: my husband is dumb, but lets spread our God's treeness into the wasteland
Me: jesus christ
Leaf mother: harold wanna save the world
Me: no he wanna fucking die, hes a millennial
"Old people don't look like this, she looks like her face is gonna slide off"
Charon: be careful
Me: CHARON WE'RE INSIDE A TREE
"I'm disappointed I have not found a single Elm"
"I see no Elm up here, but me"
"God, harold the tree is fucking horrifying... imma do what leaf mother thing"
"I swear to fucking god... charon just died AGAIN, no, you stay there I'll do this on my own, you walking suitcase"
"Mirelurk kings, or as I like to call them, sea voldemort"
"Fuck off voldemort"
"Ok either I'm remembering something different, or... oh wait shit, zelda fish, water, save the fish princess!!! Aaaa, I was like, damp nasty red place... probably tree. But no"
"So harold the tree god, said the last thing he remembered is that his buddy got knocked over and then he had a tree sapling on his head that talked to him... maybe? His friend??? Is the sapling???"
"Hehe, I let the tree man suffer forever"
"Saviour of oasis? Well, only cuz the tree dude really creeped me out tbh"
"Pff I got the 'poplar hood' and I thought it said popular"
"I FORGOT CHARON OH SHIT"
"Ok, nooow I can go and get gifts"
"Thank god I'm done with that place..."
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