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chaos0pikachu · 11 months

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Your post reminds me of the early 2000s when people were speculating on which Disney Channel and Nickelodeon actors were actually together IRL (which is weird enough to speculate on the romantic lives of children) and how crazy the tabloids were in general back then when it came to actors personal/romantic lives.

I think people in Western culture tend to downplay the prevalence of that behavior nowadays because it’s not as front and center as it used to be but it does still happen and a lot of the time it’s still used by studios to promote their shows. Definitely not a phenomenon unique to Asia.

Omg you just made me remember the Lindsey Lohan, Hilary Duff, Aaron Carter 'love' triangle that existed back then lmaoooo what a time

I do think western fans, particularly ones in BL/GL fandoms, are so hyper focused on those fandoms/sub-fandoms they either don't pay attention to what's happening outside of those fandoms or don't know general media history. I don't blame~~ ppl for this fandom is ultimately a hobbyist space first and foremost, but I do think it can lead to damaging assumptions about non-American/British cultures and a prevalent belief that these types of occurrences only happen in BL/GL fandoms which can - and has in my observations - lead to some xenophobic beliefs about East Asian cultures in general.

This is a bigger problem in general of xenophobia when it comes to consuming and/or engaging with non-white/non-american media like this belief that Korean media isn't horny in general isn't just something I see BL fans saying but also ppl who watch romance kdramas b/c that's their main focus, romance kdramas not Korean media in general. Which is vast and varied, and exists beyond Crash Landing Into You, Guardian, Squid Game and Parasite

(sidenote, everyone knows Bong Joon-ho for Parasite but his filmography is varied and amazing, The Host is such a clever subversive of a B monster movie and Snowpiercer is probably one of my fave films of all time and Chris Evans best on screen performance to date)

Like, I see folks saying "shipping" a lot when it comes to fans believing idk Mew and Gulf were irl dating when in my fandom experience that shit was called "tin hatting" b/c it was a conspiracy. There was a fine line difference between ppl who like just enjoyed and liked Dom and Elijah's friendship and wrote silly (even if it was sexy) fanfic about them and the ppl who literally stalked Elijah to a gay bar once b/c they legitimately believed Dom and Elijah were in a secret romance. Like way to much fandom shit, Jared and Jensen also popularized tin hatting or rather their fandom did. J2 crawled so Larries could fucking RUN. Back in the days of LiveJournal there were anon communities that had threads with 1000s of comments about how Jared and Jensen were secretly in a relationship b/c omg look at the way they act at cons! They're so touch-feely! They make innuendo jokes!

We'd call this "fan service" with a Thai acting pair and I would argue that's what Jared and Jensen were doing, fan service just in the early 00s. Idk if they still do this at cons I don't follow SPN anymore but you saw the same comments about like the 1D members. In my experience I would argue western tin hatters of western celebs are worse than what I see from BL fans even with the "fan service" or whatever b/c there's a sense of heightened conspiracy think involved. And again, it's not just for same-sex couples the actors for Outlander have been harassed by tinhats for almost as long as the show has been on (so like 8-ish years). At the height of the popularity for Scandal tin hats were saying Kerry Washington's baby was gonna come out light skinned "proving" it was her white costars (for those who don't know Kerry is a Black woman and her husband is a Black man, her former costar is a white man).

idk where I was going with all this but like, this isn't something specific to Thailand or Korea etc it's not even something specific to same sex pairings. I would argue Thailand's just learned how to monetize off people's already pre-existing lack of boundaries towards public figures.

#chaos pikachu speaks

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jmflowers · 2 years

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30, 31, 36 :)

30. favourite tv show(s)

Impossible to answer. But the top few I've been obsessed with through the years are...

Ghost Whisperer (started watching when I was in middle school and was a hardcore fan the entire time it was on air - the first show I ever wrote fanfic for when I was about 12)

Alias (found it towards the end of its run, but watched and rewatched religiously for many, many years - I can still recite the season 1 opening monologue)

Grey's Anatomy (there's a huge gap of time between my obsessions here, as I binged through various genres of shows for a few years before being forced into Greys at 17 - my first ever episode was Song Beneath the Song and then I inhaled all of it in its entirety a couple of times... this was the first show I was involved in the fanfic corner of fandom for and began posting my own work online)

Orphan Black (this is just really, really solid Canadian-made sci-fi, but it ended a few years ago and I still haven't been able to watch the last two episodes which is embarrassing... can't get over that one death)

Gilmore Girls (who doesn't watch this show on loop every once in a while? fell into it in 2017 and found the best companion fanfic ever written that I've never been able to locate again... a truly iconic time in my life)

The Haunting of Hill House/Bly Manor/literally anything Mike Flanagan touches (I'm a sucker for good horror, especially if there are queer women involved... I've watched most of Mike Flanagan's work a few times and Bly makes me cry every time)

Covert Affairs (I loved this one when it was on air, but I binged it again at the start of COVID lockdowns and was reminded how comforting I find a spy drama, especially when all the locations they shot at are within driving distance of where I live)

Station 19 (if I hover in that happy space of season 4 Maya x Carina moments, this is the best place to exist... struggling greatly with over-analyzing it because of what I'm studying in school, though, so I'm like a season and a half behind on episodes)

And then, of course, there is a vast collection of shows I enjoyed greatly during the period of my life where I binged everything I possibly could from specific genres to "study the story arcs and writing development". There are too many to name, but if it was on TV before 2010, I've probably seen it.

31. 3 random facts

I have a "rare" disease/condition called Chiari Malformation that basically means part of my cerebellum doesn't fit inside my skull and is instead in my neck. When I was first diagnosed, my doctor pulled Gray's Anatomy off her bookshelf and read the section on CM to me, as she'd never heard of it before.

For much of my childhood, the mere sight of a giraffe would make me cry (out of pure excitement). Everyone took this to mean I needed to be gifted anything and everything giraffe-related for the rest of my life.

I often wake up with songs stuck in my head. Occasionally, they are songs that I haven't heard in my waking-life for several years. I think I must dream about music.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill

Oh, man... It feels like there is so much, but most of my genuine wishes are relatively small and simple.

I'd love to see The Script perform in Dublin, Ireland. (There's something about the recordings of their hometown shows that just get me choked up every single time.)

I'd like to climb a mountain at least once in my life. Standing on a peak is incredible and I can only imagine how amazing it must feel to reach one as the result of your own physical determination. (There's a group called 29029 that does an event where you scale a mountain over and over again a certain number of times in 36 hours until you achieve the altitude of Everest and... that. I wanna do that one day.)

I'd like to pack up and separate myself completely from all the familiar securities I've always known, just to see what I'm really capable of. I think it'd be a perfect opportunity to travel and experience the world without the blinders of my life thus far.

question game

#thank you!#I always love answering these things... if you can't tell by the novels I write in response #mayasdeluca #question game #janelle's asks

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misticloyal · 2 years

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Shadowpeach HC’s

These were part of a bigger post but then I noticed how skewed they were to include Macaque and Wu Kong lmao

I have also developed a crippling addiction to angst of these two soo...,,, (These ones are fucked: CW for toaster bath mentions + SH)

Jesus Christ I didn’t think LMK monks could make me get on the same angst level as actual Tommy Exile shit from DSMP lore lmao

- Monkey King and Macaque play each other in Xian Qi ALL THE TIME and they’re both extremely good since they both had experiences leading actual war troops.

Occasionally they’ll get caught up in a really intense game and someone would enter the room just to feel the tension of two superpowers going at it. MK likes to watch them though and they teach him how to play it eventually

- Macaque is a theatre kid and used to put on plays for Monkey King’s generals when they all lived on Flower Fruit Mountain

Continuation: People assume that Macaque is the only theatre kid, but they seem to forget that Su Kong also exists in that category. After he got ahold of what was going on he’d demand to be able to participate and so they’d act out and voice plays for ‘show nights’ as the monkeys called them.

When they eventually meet again in the airship they host a ‘show’ called “Shows first take”. This is when MK or Mei get an episode of a show and let Macaque and Wu Kong voice over all the lines in one take- they saw Snapcube’s dubs and said “hey we can do that 🤨” and then they did.

- Monkey King likes Peach chips, and Macaque likes Plantain chips

- As kids Wu Kong and Macaque both loves stealing juice boxes from local grocery stores

Not only that but the concept of juice just being sold was revolutionary to them.

“You’re telling me I don’t have to squeeze oranges until my hands are orange?!”

“No- Wu Kong you don’t understand, they made orange juice without pulp”

“WHAT THE FUCK-”

- Both Wu Kong and Macaque have never worn sneakers a DAY in their lives so the only thing they’ll wear that's close to shoes is sandals. (No socks either they hate those)

- Macaque can purr and Sun Wu Kong cannot

- I mentioned in one of my posts about Shadowpeach constantly dreaming about them apologizing to each other and becoming friends and now I raise you this:

When they actually did apologize and agree to be civil for the sake of LBD fucking shit up, neither of them cried and they didn’t even hug or anything which is weird because they DID have a super emotional talk about how they need to get their shit together and everything.

However, they both started bawling the following night when they decided to watch a movie about space together. They’re emotionally constipated and for some reason hearing some guy talk about black holes and the vastness of the universe really did it for them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After that they always kept an eye on one another so they don’t accidentally disappear from the other’s view for too long

- Monkey King’s stupid automated cardboard cut-outs have a sensor installed to sense if macaque is near it, and if he is the speaker will say

“Everyone thinks my favorite fruit is peaches, but my second favorite is mangoes :D”

- Macaque used to deal with Wu Kong’s bullshit for a long time, so one day close to when he joined the “Find the Samadhi Fire Club” Monkey King is like- OFF THE WALLS BATSHIT CRAZY (he didn’t take his meds *Wheeze*) and the gang has absolutely no fucking idea how to control him.

Macaque walks into the room, calls in Wu Kong to spar w/ him and they watch all of the *hyper-ness* melt away in the easy push and pull they have when they practice. They never let Macaque be out of the house when Monkey King goes hyper mode now.

- Macaque does the sweetest things for Wu Kong without saying it out-loud.

He leaves reminders when he knows the other’ll forget to do something.

Makes sure to leave Wu Kong the peaches from the fruit bowl

He’ll talk to MK and propose a day off from training when he knows both Wu Kong and his successor need a break

He indulges Wu Kong’s word vomit about some random shit because he knows it’s been so long since he trusted anyone long enough to let loose around them

When MK’s training with Monkey King, he prepares a selection of small first aid in case one of them gets hurt

He leaves him flowers made of shadows so they don’t wilt

Angst- One Last CW ok nice awesome;; anyway

- Macaque learned how to smoke his problems away and since he’s immortal he just has to recycle his lungs every so often because hundreds of years of smoking really does a number on ya o77

He listens to Minecraft Music* he pirated because he is a menace to society and smokes a whole fucking pack above the cloud line on really bad days

*For anyone who cares, Macaque’s favorite song is Excuse and that is not up for debate

Also once YouTube auto played this song next and Mr emo monkey had a little itty bitty breakdown- mama was crying WATERFALLS

- Macaque never can listen to music above 15% if he uses headphones because his eardrums would start to rupture

HOWEVER if something really fucking bad happened he’d bump it up to 20%for ✨escapism✨ resolving that he’ll just fix his bleeding ears later

- One time MK made a joke that Macaque would totally make and it distracted Monkey King so bad that MK actually landed a hit on him that was pretty respectable

- Wu Kong holds himself at night to try and pretend he’s not alone

- They just.,,, they hurt inside. Both of them. A lot.

- Sandy can see people’s aura and the first time he saw Macaque he was rooted to the spot because the only other person he’s seen carry this much hurt is Wu Kong himself

- Wu Kong curls up in a ball in an effort to hide from all the things he knows he fucked up (Him and Mac’s relationship, being a mentor to MK, getting attached to Tripitaka and the rest of the JTTW crew, lying abt certain things abt the Samadhi fire, etc.)

- OHHH FUCK THIS ONE’S SO SAD- I- I CAN’T- Wu Kong tries to replicate the feeling of the circlet in anyway he can whenever he screws something up, it started with large things like neglecting MK and ignoring Mei trying to tell him to man up for his mistakes and then it built up to anything minor in the slightest

God I fucking hate that stupid circlet it’s literally so fucking dumb I hate it the only thing that mounts up to this type of loathing is LBD’s bullshitery in cannon jfccccc

Like- Holy shit Wu Kong’s in the kitchen, drops a bowl by accident and freezes

HHHHHHHhhH- and then he starts justifying to himself why it was okay that he did that- it was an accident- accidents happen- but what if the bowl was expensive- it’s fine he can fix it- everything fine- 100% fine he’ll take care of it

And the whole time there’s not a single person in the kitchen so he’s just sitting in the middle of an empty kitchen mumbling to himself and clutching his head like the circlet is there

😀

- Macaque has a mural of the JTTW gang and one can see over the years how his feelings went from denial to anger to depression because at first the only noticeable marks were Tripitaka’s face being chiseled right out of the wall.

Then, scratches appeared all over the mural including Zhu Ba Jie, Sha Wu Jing, and Sun Wu Kong and finally; A huge red X was hastily drawn over the Monkey King, then scribbled over, then drawn again...Macaque’s still conflicted about it and sometimes just sits there with a wet sponge in his paw debating whether or not the X deserves to be there

- Contrary to popular belief Macaque actually HATES caffeine. Why? Caffeine is a stimulant. Alcohol is a depressant. One of them won’t cause him to gain hope about fixing things between him and Wu Kong.

One of them won’t make him go to Flower Fruit Mountain and embarrass himself in front of Wu Kong’s subjects because the golden monkey wasn’t even THERE he was gone on some sort of errand and all of his pathetic (they weren’t really, Macaque loved them) subjects watched him cry to himself.

- Once Macaque and Wu Kong had their falling out, Macaque refused to call Wu Kong anything but 大圣 because that's all he was to him now. Some random deity with too much power. Some random deity that was stupid, and beautiful, but stubborn and just not for Macaque.

(Wu Kong’s reaction to this was anger- he was so angry that Macaque had decided for him when his name started to mean nothing. But obviously he didn’t do anything because he was a pussy; and Macaque didn’t stick to the name-boycott for long because as soon as MK is added into the mix the name Wu Kong comes back instantly)

#lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #headcanon #shadowpeach #angst #specifically #shadowpeach angst #lmk #i think about this too much

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amethystpath-writes · 3 years

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A Writing tip, covering various writing topics:

(This post got me thinking and I needed to make a post:)

Writing...LOVE:

Love is an emotion so few can describe. It’s a deep, in-the-gut feeling that most can’t even make sense of themselves. My boyfriend says often that he hears music, whereas I tend to say it’s a blanket- a constantly warm blanket of safety and knowingness. There’s no right or wrong way to describe the term ‘love’ as it’s a different experience for everyone. Some people feel a pit in their stomach.

Many of you have probably seen those posts that go something like this: “100 ways of saying ‘I Love You’ without saying ‘I Love You’” Sound familiar? Well, it’s true.

Holding hands is a form of love. Hugging. Kissing. Those actions say, ‘I want to be as close to you as I can be.’

Smiling at someone is a form of love. Spiteful people don’t smile at strangers as they pass them on the street, right? Now, that’s a bit more platonic, but it still stands for romance, too.

Asking someone how their day went is a form of love.

I could go on and on. The point is that... (continued in next part)

Writing...ANYTHING:

The point is that writing- not just love, but anything- is about observing.

I started writing by trying to write anything and everything, even though I didn’t know how to do it. Once I had a story, I reread it and said, “Oh wow. That needs work. Well, that sounds cheesier than I meant for it to. Why does that action scene sound so terrible? There’s not enough detail in this part- that’s because I don’t know anything about it.”

Writing is observing.

I’ll say it again, in all caps this time.

WRITING IS OBSERVING.

Dip your hand in everything so that you can pick out where to start.

(For example) The first book I ever wrote was an absolute whirlwind of Hell. It had demons and angels, gargoyles and regular ole humans, unrefined magic and a ton of very fast-flying emotions. I cannot even begin to describe how awful the vast majority of it was, BUT...I had this one totally oddball character who brought light to the protagonist- and the whole plot. Her name was Raina and she was just this bubbly ball of magnificence. She was a minor character but I enjoyed every single scene with her. This brings me to my next point...

Writing...HUMOUR:

Humour. I was great at writing humour, so I built on it. When I was in school with friends, I listened to the timing of jokes when friends told them. I paid attention to the humour that appealed to everyone versus the humour that only applied to a select few. I watched reality tv shows. I already wrote it well, but by observing everything around me, I became GREAT at it.

Having said that, and going back to something I said before, everyone has a different sense of humour. You need to explore all of them at some point.

Tumblr is a world of its own, a place where writers often write prompts on the daily. In that case, don’t cram all the humour in the world into one piece. Pick a sense of humour, and use it.

Or, if the joke is that one character tried to crack a joke and failed, well, that’s great! Do that- in prompts or stories. Not every character is going to get or like the same jokes, alright? That doesn’t mean they won’t get along. My entire friend group has a a side of their humour that I just...cannot make myself laugh at, even as an act. But they’re my best friends and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

At the same time, some characters do share the same sense of humour. In that case, you get to write- wait for it...DETAILS!!! Writing humour involves writing an intense amount of wordless joy. Talk about the face, about the expressions and tightness of the muscles. The muscles are going to be tense everywhere.

Face/nose scrunched.

Eyebrows pinched.

Mouth open in silent laughter.

Fists.

Overly opened palms.

Crunched in a ball/ knees to their chest.

Accidentally let out a fart.

Stuff like that^

You know how sometimes a friend will be laughing so hard that they go, “If I don’t have abs by the end of this...” and they don’t even have the capacity, or breath, to come up with a threat? Laughing HURTS, but it’s the best kind of hurt.

Remind people what laughter is, make them feel the same joy as your characters undoubtedly are.

#writing tips #writing tip #writing advice #writing #writing blog #writeblr #writeblr community #I shall leave this here for now and add onto it as I think of more tips :)

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writingsbychlo · 4 years

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let me down slow (epilogue)

word count; 2830

summary; it’s moving day, and stiles is getting his dorm all set up with the sheriff, while you and mitch still have a considerable amount more unpacking to do.

notes; I know some of y’all didn’t like the events of part eight, but you’re just gonna’ have to deal with it, because they’re adorable, it was all a misunderstanding, and they deserve the world.

warnings; none, really. some vaguely dirty innuendoes, that’s it.

Smoothing your hands over the poster on the wall, you pressed it flat to the plaster, holding it steady as Stiles pinned it down straight, and you cheered once the final one was up, the collection of Star Wars posters lining the walls making the room seem entirely perfect for your best friend. Hopping down from the bed, you smoothed out the covers, before letting both of your hands fly up to meet Stiles’ in a set of high fives, and the pair of you cheered as you took it all in.

“It’s really getting there!”

The oversized corkboard he loved so much was sitting against one wall, a shelf you’d spent almost an hour trying to put up between the pair of you as the Sheriff laughed was now assembled, with three baskets sitting along it. The first contained bundles of assorted pins and paperclips for putting up the vast assortment of photos and collage pieces that added, the space freshly cleared so that he could build it up ready for the new year. The second basket contained his camera, with a selection of different types of film for interesting shots, and the third was filled with pens and note pads for all the annotations and quotes he would put under each picture.

The opposite wall was lined with six matching Star Wars posters, showing off the promotional pictures and titles of the originals and the prequels, a prized possession that you’d bought for Stiles as a graduation present, so that he didn’t have to take his collection at home down and travel them across the country. His desk was already cluttered with notebooks and pens, and the closet was brimming with flannelled shirts. The bookcase was stacked with textbooks and DVDs. Above the desk was pinned a campus map, class schedule, time table and a calendar, all for his convenience, because Stiles had already voiced his desire to cram as many college experiences into his first year as he possibly could, he wanted to live life to the fullest.

Along the windowsill were photo frames with his favourite pictures of everyone from back home, and he was proudly staring at the final few boxes on the floor, as his dad carried the last one in, the final clothes he had ready to be unpacked into the set of drawers beside his bed, your hand coming up to wipe across your forehead in false exhaustion as you looked around.

“It’s fitting for you, kid.”

His voice was a little rough, and you could tell that the Sheriff was holding back his emotions as he sent his youngest son off to college, too. He held his arms out of you both, and Stiles rolled his eyes as he let out a string of curses at the affection, but pressed his face into his father’s neck as he wrapped around one side of his body, not covering the little sniffle he let out as well as he thought he had. You were quick to follow in his footsteps, tucking yourself happily under the older man’s chin, and you squeezed the two men in a tight hug.

You easily remained that way, knowing that the two were each trying to hide their emotions, and you smiled to yourself at the thought, rolling your eyes softly. “You know, dad, I’m going to be checking with Melissa that you’re still eating healthy. Don’t think you can start eating bacon and fries every day now just because I’m gone.”

“You’re the worst.”

You giggled as he pushed you both away, but he ruffled your hair fondly, and you decided to lighten the mood a little, turning to swipe the camera from its place on the shelf, checking it was loaded with film before handing the polaroid device over to Noah. “I think we need to take the first picture to put up, don’t you?”

Stiles gasped, nodding happily before turning to you, and you pressed your hands to his shoulder once he’d turned back to face his father, and you jumped up as high as you could, sealing you legs above his hips and he gripped at your thighs, letting out a laugh as you landed on his back, your hands wrapping around his neck. With the cheesiest grin that you could muster, the Sheriff gave you a count down, before clicking the camera and waiting as the small piece of paper pushed it’s way out of the device, before handing it over to you both and putting the camera down on the desk.

Holding up the little slip, he waited patiently as the colour began to drip into it, the picture slowly revealing itself, and you let out a squeal once it became properly formed, so that you could see the image clearly. “I love it! Pin it!”

You tapped his shoulders, and he moved eagerly across to the board, selecting a pin and pushing it through the card, securing it to the very centre of the board. Only a second later, he was grabbing a red pen and a yellow post-it note, scribbling down a reminder before adding the note to the photo, and you peaked over his shoulder to read it.

‘Move-in Day, August 2020’

You grinned, taking the pen and adding a little heart to it, before placing your hands on your hips and looking around the room. The phone you’d left on the bedside table a while ago buzzed loudly, chiming a little tune as it did, and you jumped at the interruption. Stiles moved across the room for you, picking up the device before letting out a long groan, and you chuckled at his reaction, already knowing who it must be.

“It’s my brother. Your boyfriend. Ew, I hate the sound of it, still.” You grinned at his words, sticking your tongue out as you took it from him, scanning your eyes over the message, before reaching for your bag and sealing the device inside, lifting it up onto your shoulder. “Time to go?”

“Yeah, unfortunately. You’re unpacking these last few boxes alone.” You joked, and he huffed, kicking at one lightly with the toe of his shoes.

“Not alone, Dad is here to h-”

“Dad is going back to the hotel to rest his back and take a shower. Stiles is alone and putting his own laundry away for the first time in his life.” His dad grinned, and the boy let out a whine at it, stomping his foot a little before giving in.

“See you tonight, at the restaurant?”

“We will meet you there.” His face scrunched up once again.

“I can’t get with the referring to you and Mitch as a ‘we’. I’m not used to it.” You shrugged, but leaned up to press a friendly kiss to his cheek, before letting him wrap you up in a tight hug, and brush his lips to your temple. “I’ll get used to it. I’m just glad you’re happy.”

His dad left the room, leaving you both to your moment, even though you were only saying goodbye for a few hours, but he was a little jittery once the door had closed.

“Can I tell you something, before you go? I don’t want it to be a big deal, but I do want to tell you first.” You nodded, brows furrowing as he fiddled with his fingers between your bodies worriedly, and you reached up to place your hand over his own, letting him lace your fingers together. “Now that I’m not obsessing over Lydia anymore, and I’m in college and really taking a minute to get to know myself, I think I discovered something.”

“Is it good?”

“Yeah.. yeah, I think so.” He was nervous, biting down on his lower lip, and you squeezed his hand reassuringly in an attempt to tell him that it was okay. “I think I might be bi.”

A blushing tinge spread over his cheeks, his eyes ducked to avoid your own as the heat spread up to his ears and painted his pale skin pink, and you leaned in to press your body to his, your arms wrapping around him tightly, and he let out a deep sigh, before wrapping himself around you once again, his body sagging out of relief.

“There was this guy in my welcome lecture, and he was really good looking, and while I was still in my Lydia phase I didn’t really think about anyone else that way, so I was pretty shocked when my first thought was about a guy, but then he asked me if I wanted to get coffee before the semester starts, and I said yes. We’ve been texting for a few days, now.” The words came out jumbled and hurried, and you stepped back to look at him, making sure to catch his gaze as he gave you a nervous smile.

“I’m so happy for you, Stiles.”

“I’m going to tell my dad and brother at dinner tonight, but I just needed some support.” You nodded, before stepping back as he let out a relieved laugh and wiped a hand over his face. “God, I feel so much better. I hate keeping things from you. I don’t know how you did it for months, having secrets with you kills me.”

“It wasn’t without a lot of suffering, trust me.”

He grinned, before nudging you towards the door. “See you in a couple of hours.” You simply nodded, waving your goodbye to the Sheriff as he chatted with the other parents of Stiles’ various roommates for the year, and you made your way to the door, stepping out into the corridor.

With hurried steps, you made your way down the stairs, knowing it would be quicker than taking the elevator, and you were just glad Stiles was living on the first floor, you really weren’t sure he’d be able to handle hiking up twelve layers worth of stairs to the top floor on a tired day if the lift ever broke.

It wasn’t a short walk to the place you had promised to meet your boyfriend, and the walk was enjoyable, hot sun shining down and a light breeze carrying through the campus, cooling you down from the heat. Shuffling through your bag, you searched for your sunglasses, lifting them out to place them on your face, and letting out a happy sigh when you no longer had to squint.

You could already see the man you were waiting to meet, his body coming into view as he sat on the edge of the fountain, scrolling idly on his phone as he waited for you, the bag slumped on the floor beside his feet was spilling out with textbooks and his laptop, and his hair was messy from constantly running through it. Picking up your speed a little, you made your way over to him and took up before him, your shadow falling across him. He glanced up, expression stoic and stony before he realised who it was, and his face split open in a wide grin as his entire demeanour brightened.

“Thought you were standing me up for a second there. You’re late.”

“Yeah, well, I got caught up. You can believe that I will never just leave you hanging.” You offered, and he scooped up his bag, swinging the strap over his shoulder before standing up, and he took your chin between his thumb and forefinger.

Pulling you in towards himself, he bumped the tip of his nose with your own, before letting out a sigh. “I know you wouldn't.” He pressed his lips to your own, a sweet kiss that made your heart thud and your mind spin, before you were pushing up into him a little further. Resting your hands on his shoulders, his own slipped down to your waist, holding your body to his as his mouth moved with your own in gentle rhythms, and giving you one final peck when he pulled away. “Ready to go?”

“Absolutely.” He took your hand in his, pulling you away toward the direction of the apartment the two of you had so carefully chosen together, and you leaned your head against his shoulder as the two of you walked. He twisted, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of your head, and you squeezed you hand in acknowledgement of his affections. “Guess who I ran into earlier?”

“Who?”

“The redhead from a few weeks back.” He stiffened underneath you, only relaxing when you paused, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips as he fixed you with a worried glance. “Her name is Cassandra, which you never told me, and she’s actually really nice. We arranged to go for coffee.”

He practically choked on his breath, turning to look at you with wide and worried eyes as he held the door to the building open for you, and you slipped through, letting him follow as you laughed lightly at his reaction. “What was she doing there?”

“Her friend was moving into Stiles’ building, and she was helping out.” You shrugged, the two of you stepping into the elevator and you were glad to be alone, leaning back against the wall and pushing your glasses up onto the top of your head to peer at him, raising a brow. “Hey, stop freaking out. I can see the cogs working in your head. She asked about us, you know.”

“What did she say?”

“Just wanted to know if I was all good, and if things worked out.” You shrugged a little, your glasses slipping on your head, and you detangled them from your loose hair and put them away once again. “I told her that we’re doing amazing, and that I’ve never been so happy, and that we have a place together with a whole bunch of plans for the future.”

He finally let his shoulders drop from the tension he’d built up, before tucking some hair away behind your ears and stepping in towards you, crowding you into the wall a little further. “Never been so happy, huh?”

“Totally and one hundred percent in love with you.”

“I love you too.” He whispered the words into your mouth as he leaned down to kiss you, barely getting a chance to do so before the elevator was chiming and the doors were sliding open. You grinned in the kiss as he huffed out, pulling away and letting the two of you walk along, both of you patting down your bags to find your keys, but he found his own first, and lifting the set up to the door to open it.

Boxes still littered the room, labelled with things to be unpacked and brought out, but whereas Stiles had been unpacking only one room, the two of you had been unpacking an entire apartment, and there was still a lot to buy and a lot to set up, the flat-pack furniture box holding the coffee table the two of you had yet to assemble was sitting with coasters out and rings on top from drinks, using it for its purpose before it was even constructed.

“We’re still on for dinner with Dad and Stiles, right? I don’t think we have any leftovers from last night’s takeout and I’m too lazy to go for a supermarket trip.” He flopped down onto the couch, and you nodded, hanging up your bag on the hooks and taking your phone from it, running you fingers through your hair and tugging on some of the knots that had built up.

“Yes, we are. Are you going to get changed, or wash up?”

“No, I'm going to take a nap.” He grinned, settling along the couch and tucking a hand behind his head, pouting his lips when he felt you lean over him. Pressing a soft and quick peck to his lips, you brushed some hair off of his forehead and out of his eyes, before standing up.

“Okay, well, I’m going to take a shower before we go.”

You jumped when his eyes snapped back open, and he rolled up from the couch, grinning cheekily as his hands found your hips and he turned you around. “You know what, maybe I should wash up. We haven’t christened the bathroom yet, and I bet you look great on your knees in the shower.”

He tapped your ass cheekily in a light spank, and you gasped at the impact, but laughed anyway as he guided you through the halls, tugging at the bottom of your sundress as you went, until he had the material over your head, dropping it to the floor in the doorway to the bathroom. “You’re incorrigible.”

“You love it.” He teased, switching on the water and waiting for it to get hot as he stripped himself down, and you let out an exaggerated sigh.

“I love you.”

“Good, because I love you too.”

#mitch month #mitchtober #mitch-tober #mitch rapp #mitch rapp x reader #mitch rapp x reader smut #mitch rapp/reader #mitch rapp/reader smut #mitch rapp american assassin #LMDS #let me down slow #dylan o'brien #dylan obrien #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien/reader #dylan obrien x reader smut #dylan obrien/reader smut #dylan obrien mitch rapp #dylan obrien american assassin

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gryffindorkxdraws · 3 years

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Want to start off by saying that I love your mind! I was hoping to get your opinion on: what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?

EDIT: changed a few things ehe

ngl i found this challenging cus it made me think of how the answer would vary per person (yeah i went there idk why sdjkknds) so lemme get logical for a sec here haha

what exactly is the definition of “feel right”?

to make someone feel relaxed and comfortable, as merriam-webster states

simple as that, right? but wait there’s more

what makes something/someone go under that category?

now from there it expands because there are so many ways of answering that with everyone having different opinions and mindsets.

fair warning before we push on, this is going to get messy (like a word vomit) with how i’m just going to pour out everything i can think off, but just know i really like this question hence the, uh, mess? lmao

so back to your question, what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?

in one POV, it could be because of how rapunzel and jack represent the sun and the moon respectively, making them two contrasting sides who shouldn’t collide and yet, against all odds and opposing forces that would come between them, they did.

and we can bet on the fact that they fought hard/struggled for it, depending on how fanfic writers play with it (reminds of this sun/moon au that sold me to this trope lmao).

just because others said it’s impossible or it’s against whatever, why should they listen to the “norm?” what even is considered “normal,” when the two can explore so much more of what they could be missing from life after stepping out of others’ shadows?

i just love sun/moon dynamics. i’m obsessed lmao i read the ones below somewhere and idk where but it’s been living in my head rent free and i can’t escape it tho feel free to correct me about any of these symbol topic!

like the Sun, thoughtful and full of energy to share with everyone, is connected with one’s self and known to, yeah, radiate warmth or light. it also symbolizes firmness, strength and power. oh and life too i guess?

while the Moon, subtle but full of mysteries and wonders, can also get emotional and sway others to be more nurturing. cus like it also symbolizes calmness, beauty, and nurture. plus eternity and enlightenment?

the list goes on if we head into more of what it both symbolize, but when these two celestial bodies get together, masculine and feminine energies unite. the Sun gives out life, while the Moon cultivates it.

i have no idea where i’m going but moving on

maybe it’s that taste of rebellion with going against the authorities/society/rules/of what has always been set to find out who they’re meant to be or, y’know, finding their identity without the shackles of others (like jack learning he has the potential to be a guardian and embracing it in his own time, and rapunzel realizing she’s the lost princess and works hard to be a good one),

or there’s something about the mystery that follows the other because they’ve never met anyone quite like them (like exploring a world they’ve never set foot on),

or finding all the good and bad in each other and in their differences, but still loving the other for who they are,

or what one lacks the other makes up for it and vice versa. with or without them realizing they can help each other grow to be a better version of themselves.

opposites attract who are bound to be full of surprises.

but on the contrary, they could also be two peas of a pod. aight this definitely goes against what i said above with all the opposites and stuff, but hear me out.

while they grew up and learned how to cope with life differently, they somehow still share the same sentiments when it comes to, for example, reaching their goals.

they have their own way to go about it, sure, but my point is they can reach a common ground better together compared when they’re with others.

like rapunzel with the lanterns, and jack with his memories. at first, one hesitated and wavered, while the other disagreed and pulled away. it was only after they saw a chance/realized this was it that they agreed in a heartbeat

they ultimately made the choice of diving in head first regardless of their initial thoughts in the first place. kinda like the moment they realized they can be a step closer to what they’ve been yearning for their whole life

bam, out of the way, they’re coming through lmao

not only that, but they can also be soft, gentle, understanding despite rapunzel’s spontaneuosness and jack’s mischievousness. we’ve seen them interacting with children and they’re so good at lifting their spirits up to have some fun and that there will always be a tomorrow.

and with their peers too. rapunzel lights up even the darkest of rooms, may it be like fireworks to bring joy or a campfire to warm one’s heart. jack meanwhile keeps things light when everyone else feels tense, easing others to relax and remember there’s always a way out

don’t forget the way they both sacrifice themselves for who they care for. like, they just do that, putting others first before them. that scene of saving eugene and baby tooth aaahhhhdjhdskdjkbkfjdkjf

and when everything comes crashing down and the world feels heavy on their shoulders, they both know they’re not alone with the other there for them.

maybe it’s the mutual understanding they have for each other after opening up, and finding a friend/partner/home through the connection they made together,

or they could be a push and pull that leads them to showing an unexpected side of the other, but in reality they always had it in them and all they needed was someone to show the way,

or how they complement each other, but they’re not two halves of a whole, no, rather they’re already whole themselves and they only reminded each other that they are,

or it’s simply because they don’t feel the need to put up walls or anything of the likes, because they know that no matter what they’ll be accepted for who they are.

opposites who have so much more in common than they originally thought

in another POV it could be because of how they give such partners in crime vibe. lowkey or highkey, take your pick. nothing would stop them from moving forward to a new tomorrow, or honestly whatever it is they put their minds to.

and i am here for that

like i said in one of my posts, “They were a magnet for trouble, with the Sun being a free-spirited and vivacious fellow, and with the Moon’s knack for mischief and being a rebel without cause.”

while both are adventurous, ready to explore whatever is out there, all the while just wanting to have some fun, they still balance each other out.

with jack usually ready to do what he needs/wants to do (which helps rapunzel to trust her gut and take the risk. that he’ll be there for her whenever she’s ready to step out of her comfort zone and jump away from her tower)

and with rapunzel knowing how to handle sticky situations properly (which reminds jack that not everything has to be done harshly and abruptly. that while freezing someone could be fun, it won’t solve things in the long run)

am i making sense? idek but you’re stuck with me lol but before i forget and i can’t believe i just remembered now. the way they can help fill in on what the other is missing

rapunzel wants to see the world, what goes out there, with the people, society, and history i feel. and jack can take her to wherever she wants to go. hell, he’ll even surprise her and bring her to places he’d think she’ll like.

with his experiences, he’s bound to have an endless list of plans for them to go through and it’s no surprise that she’ll love it, and (him) his gesture, nonetheless

jack wants to be noticed by others, to be seen and heard for who he is. and rapunzel is such a welcoming person that she accepts him wholeheartedly. give him the love he was deprived of for years.

reassure him that even he has a place to call home because why would he be excluded from that? he deserves it just as much as she and everyone else does

also i like to think they brainstorm ideas together

maybe it’s how they’re both game for an adventure, sudden or not, and this makes it easy for them to team up together and take on the world

or the feeling of familiarity as they click and everything flows naturally to them, where nothing is forced or uncomfortable between them

or how it’s like they can hold on to each other, knowing the other won’t let go no matter what because they’ll always have each other through the ups and downs

or it’s in their shared smiles, mischievous sparks in their eyes, moving together to the music of their synchronized heartbeats, as they step forward to the vast unknown

finding the ‘one’ who understands them inside out that they feel at home with them

i’ve said so many things and threw out so many brain rot, but what exactly is my final answer?

it’s simple: who knows? now before you toss me aside, and i hope not lmao, lemme just say even with that kind of final verdict, you can still find beauty in it.

you see, there’s so much more to explore and delve into with jackunzel because of their potential, that i don’t want to make a set answer for your question. i’d rather much help you, and anyone else wondering, to come to an answer yourself and maybe even share/discuss it with others.

i’m running out of brain juice, but i at least hope this helped satisfy your curiosity behind your question since this is all i can give… for now, maybe? who knows lmao

tho i’ll be honest and admit i based these on how i feel about jackunzel. so if ever someone else out there wants to add more points they thought of, feel free to add on this

#rotbtd #jackunzel #rise of the brave tangled dragon #the big four #jack frost and rapunzel #jack frost #rapunzel corona #holy hell what possessed me to type a damn essay lmao #my writing

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sledgefuweek · 3 years

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Each year we take a close look at the prompts for Sledgefu Week, for those who may be stuck for ideas or not quite sure about what the prompts could entail. Below the readmore are all seven prompts, as well as a short write-up exploring what they mean and some ideas to help get the creative juices going. Enjoy!!

Sickfic

This is a really popular and well-known fanfic trope that I feel probably needs little explanation, but I’ll write a little bit about it anyway! It essentially covers fic where one character is ill and the other cares for them -- it could encompass any kind of illness at all, (including chronic illnesses) and there’s a lot of room to get creative with it. You can go for angst, hurt/comfort, or fluff: it’s just a really good general prompt that I think works nicely to kick the week off!

It suits for Sledgefu pretty well, considering Snafu’s canon mild hypochondria, as well as the fact that Eugene’s dad is a doctor. It could be fun to lean into it: make Eugene play doctor for an actually-sick Snafu, and it could be just as fun to subvert it! There’s really endless options for canon fic: shrapnel wounds turned bad, heat-sickness, seasickness, illness from bad food or bad water or any kind of tropical disease you can think of (malaria is a big one!). You could make one of them (or both) a medic; you could genderswap them and write the gay field nurse fic this fandom sorely needs. And of course if you choose to branch out into modern AU you can begin to think of what might afflict them outside of a war setting: has Eugene been working too much and come down with a cold? Are they hungover, and need mutual care (and lots of takeout)? A lot of the time sickfic focuses on one character doing the comforting and the other character feeling unwell, but there’s nothing to say they can’t both be feeling shitty! I think we say this every year but there’s really no rules at all, you do whatever you feel inspired to do. With Sickfic, just be mindful to tag anything that others might be affected by eg. vomiting, blood, needles, etc.

Tarot

I feel like Tarot is pretty well-known to the Sledgefu fandom, or at least to those who like to write Snafu or his family a little witchy. In case you just have a vague idea of what Tarot actually is and what its purpose or origins are, I’ll explain it as concisely as I can! Tarot decks started life in Europe as playing cards, but eventually began to be used for divination. It’s made up of four suits, or the Minor Arcana, (Wands, Cups, Swords, and Pentacles) as well as a twenty-two card Major Arcana (the imagery of which you’re probably very familiar with). Commonly, tarot decks and tarot reading is used as a means of communicating with the higher self, deities, or with the universe. They can be used as a way to see the future, answer questions, or to give/receive advice. There are different ways of reading them too, depending on how one lays out the cards: I don’t want to make this too wordy, but if you’re curious I encourage you to check out this site to learn more!

For writers, there’s a lot of places this prompt could take you! Probably the most obvious will be fortune teller fic; a classic. Lean into Snafu’s Louisiana roots and have him telling fortunes in the depths of the French Quarter, or go against the grain and have Eugene reading cards and palms and tea leaves as a practice passed down through his family. Or maybe more casual: modern AU Sledgefu flirting through amateur tarot readings with a deck picked up from a junk shop. If you read Tarot and have a connection to it, you can express that through writing! It’s a pretty open-ended prompt, especially if you consider some of the meanings of the cards; you could even write a story inspired by that! The Hermit: Snafu withdrawing, leaving Eugene on the train to spend the next few months in solitude, working through things. The Moon: Snafu and Eugene hitting a rough patch, hiding things from each other. The opportunities really become endless once you start taking the readings of the cards into account! And for visual artists, this must be such a fun prompt: I feel like it’s so a visually rich, whether you’re re-drawing the cards to encompass Snafu and Eugene within them, or making a collage based around some of the things mentioned above: fortune tellers shops, witches cottages, etc.

Trinket

Every Sledgefu Week we tend to have a couple prompts that are a little more open to interpretation, and this year’s ‘Trinket’ is one of those. It might be difficult to try and think of something to base a whole fic or piece of art around, but we really encourage you to let your imagination run wild! There’s already some great trinkets in the show itself: Eugene’s ring, the lighter that Gunny Haney gave him, Snafu’s stolen gold teeth, or their dog tags. Think of small, special objects that you might have: what imbues them with comfort or meaning? What makes you love them? You could have Eugene giving Snafu his ring, or have Eugene musing over war and death and loss while smoking a cigarette lit by his lighter. If you’re into Modern AUs, how could these objects carry through to modern day? Once you start thinking about it, the ideas start rolling in. Feel free to invent special trinkets for them: or maybe trinkets that they hate and want to get rid of, trinkets that remind them of bad times. Trinkets that remind them of each other, or family, or war. So much meaning can be held in the things we own, and I think it’s such a lovely concept to explore!

Crossover

So this prompt was born from the sheer number of suggestions we had for various movie, TV, and book AUs. We didn’t want to put them all to the poll and risk a lot of you feeling disappointed over the one you wanted not being selected, so thought it’d work best to condense them into a ‘Crossover’ prompt so everyone could do whatever they liked. So this is a very very broad one! It would be impossible for me to really go through the prompt and highlight some things that you could do for it, because you can really do anything you want to! Anything! It encompasses movies, video games, TV, books, musicals... if something tells a story, you can do a crossover. So if there’s ever been a film/book/etc. AU you wanted to do for Sledgefu Week but couldn’t quite get it to match the prompts, now is the time!

Vacation

A pretty self explanatory prompt, and one that I think can appeal to people who prefer canonverse and those who like modern AU too! Do you want to send Snafu and Eugene on the holiday of their dreams, or are they gonna be bickering in a gas station over who gets control of the map? Is Snafu gonna drive across a couple states to surprise Eugene by visiting? Is Eugene gonna do the same? There’s a lot of scenarios you can apply to the backdrop of them vacationing, and a lot of emotional journeys you can take them through! And for the canonverse crowd, you have the extra addition of letting them go have fun on an R&R, or taking a road trip post-war, visiting 1950s Paris... you can really do whatever you like!

Historical

This was another prompt like ‘Crossover’ that came from a lot of various suggestions that all boiled down to a similar thing: different historical events or periods. So like Crossover, I won’t linger too long on it (this post is long enough already) except just to say again: do whatever you’re inspired to do! There’s no rules here, you could even take everyone out of the Pacific and put them over in Germany: give them a different experience of war. In fact, you can do that with any war if you wanted to! Wanna do a M*A*S*H AU but made something else for Crossover? You could do it here! Want to put them in the 1920s? You got it. In the 1850s? Yeehaw, they’re cowboys now. 1969, Summer of Love? 1600s, make Snafu a prince? Literally the world is your oyster!

Horror

Past Sledgefu Week prompts have included things that could come under the horror umbrella (Supernatural, for example) but didn’t necessarily have to be made 'horrific’. For the ‘Horror’ prompt this year, we want to see frightening! Disquieting, uncomfortable; creations that either cross over with existing horror franchises, or lean on horrific things you come up with yourself. Horror movies, or TV shows, or books or podcasts or pieces of art all seek to elicit a sense of fear: this can be done by tapping into common phobias, or nightmares, those things which are universally and almost instinctively scary. We want to see things which lean into that, in whatever way you want to do it!

I’m no horror media expert (not by a long shot) but the opportunities for this prompt are really vast simply because horror has so many subgenres to work with. You could go gothic horror; Dracula, Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights (a personal favourite AU -- Eugene soaked out on the moors, searching for Heathcliff-Snafu? Divine). Or you could go to the opposite end of the spectrum: Jennifer’s Body AU, Final Girl AU -- there’s no set way to do horror, in fact you could even bring horror into canonverse if you don’t like AUs. Think the Terror: some unknown beast lurking beyond the borders of their camp on Pavuvu, or Okinawa. Or you could even take the prompt entirely literally and explore the horrors of war and the toll it takes on them both. Please don’t feel stuck into needing to do Scary: horror is about fear and revulsion and dread, and these feelings don’t necessarily need to come from a haunting! (This is also a prompt ripe for monsterfucking, just FYI).

- - - - - - - - - -

So that’s the prompts for this year! They’re all really really great, and have a lot of potential to make some fantastic stuff :~) And to reiterate something I said right at the start, there are no rules here! I think every year we normally get at least one person unsure whether their idea will be okay for the prompt they’d like to make it for, so I just wanna say here: don’t second-guess yourself! As long as it can be linked back to the prompt in some way or another (can literally be the vaguest way possible) you’ll be absolutely fine. We don’t vet submissions at all, especially not for their content relating to the prompts. All we ask is that you remember to stay respectful in what you’re writing, and when the time comes to post it, you tag and warn appropriately :~)

On the subject of writing respectfully, we’d like to just take a moment to link the document on mindful writing re: race and gender that was made last year. Please take a look at it, even if you read it last year! It’s always good to keep these things at the front of your mind, as fandom is a community sport and we want to keep it fun and safe for everyone involved! So thank you if you’ve made it this far through this whole post, check out the doc, and enjoy the rest of the run-up to Sledgefu Week!

#sledgefu #sledgefu week #mod talk #info #if you saw this post before yes you did no you didn't <3 it has the horror prompt on it now lmao

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icypantherwrites · 3 years

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Changes Coming to Patreon; Back to AO3 Icy Goes

An abbreviated and slightly different version of a post I made on my Patreon this evening:

Several months ago I made the announcement that I was switching my main platform from AO3 to exclusively post my works on Patreon. I had hoped it would help with some of my mental health issues with the reasoning that Patreon was a platform with a smaller, dedicated audience and would be better than posting into the great unknown and feeling let down by the sheer number of hits but no sightings of the people behind them.

Unfortunately, this decision has not panned out the way I had hoped. To be completely honest, I feel even worse than I ever have before. I truly thought this switch would encourage more engagement from those that were on my Patreon given that everyone now had that exclusive access and knowing that they'd want to be involved and that I'd be okay with knowing only a literal handful of people might be reading. That has not been the case. And to be clear, that's on me for having those hopes and expectations because certainly no one at my Patreon is required to engage with my works; you pay a subscription fee each month, you get content, and more always comes. And I will certainly continue to post those works that Patreon supporters paid for and expect to see under the original outline of my Patreon, but at this time...

At this time I've made the decision to return to posting on AO3 and no longer make that content exclusive to Patreon.

Any of the exclusive one-shots that did post here will remain, but I'll be adding them to my AO3 archive as well and the chaptered fics will only be posting for early release tiers on Patreon going forward, not posting later for all tiers. They will all instead be made available on my AO3 and just like before you are welcome to read them there. To be clear: none of your access to content is changing. You will still be able to read all of my stories, but they will no longer exclusively be on Patreon.

It is really hard for me to post works (and yes, I know they are all finished, it's still hard). It is hard to post in the author's notes and ask for comments and engagement because it is not fun to post and feel like hardly anyone is reading, and harder still when very few do because it just tells me that the majority of people either don't read those requests or they ignore them. Both don't feel good. And doubly so when you consider the majority of my content is about support. Ironic, right? ;p

Just like when I made this original decision, I didn't come to this one lightly. After all, there was a reason I decided to step away from AO3. But trying to bribe y'all with extra content via engagement hasn't worked. I've actually had 7 people in the two months that I made this switch join the page and quit within a couple days (sometimes a couple hours), accessing all content (and no doubt spurred on by the sheer amount behind a paywall) and that's a slap in the face to me and makes me feel even worse. And I certainly don't want to turn my works into a pay-per-view where I open a shop and sell PDF copies of individual works because the money has never, ever, been what the Patreon has been about. The finances help me to justify spending the time writing the works to keep this page active and going, but the whole reason I created a Patreon was to have an engaged, local community where I could be myself a little bit more, be a little more honest than I normally allow myself to be, and to share exclusive works with all those who made that decision to come here and financially support me with the hope that would extend to mental and emotional support via engagement on the site ♥

There are over 100 people on my Patreon and on average not even 10% make an appearance. It feels like I am posting and posting and hardly anyone is reading and the whole point of posting works is to share them because fandom is something that is meant to be shared. It's an experience for us all, whether we're creators or consumers, and we cannot exist without the other. It's a circle of fanfiction.

AO3 wasn't the best for me mentally. But the alternative I decided to pursue has unfortunately been even worse. And yet I still can't help but want to share my creations, want to make those connections, want people to laugh and cry and find comfort and support and experience emotions or feelings they may never had had, to learn and grow, to just enjoy the whump and angst and find a little escape sometimes from reality. Writing has been so important to me, it's what has kept me going through some very low times although it's catch-22 as the posting part of that process can make me feel lower than when I started. But I push through and hope that things get better, always.

Planning out this Patreon has meant so much to me. Writing stories for it, setting up polls, getting to create cover banners, write commissions, and, most importantly, interact with all of you... it has kept me going. And in order for me to not hate this page, to not delete it, to not call it quits, I need to make this switch back to AO3 and the chance for a larger audience. And I truly hope you can understand why I am doing this. I truly hope that even though the vast amount of my works will now be technically "free" that you still remain a member of my Patreon as those "free" works are only possible due to this site.

And to anyone reading this now on my Tumblr, please read the above. I only continue to post because of the financial support on my Patreon. There is now going to be a burst of content posting on my AO3 and lots more to come, but please don’t ever think that this is “free” because it was not free.

And this isn’t to tell you to go join my Patreon (although if you’d like to, please feel free) but to remind you that it costs nothing to leave a comment on a story that you read and that doing so means everything to the creator. Please don’t see this change as just an endless buffet of fanfiction to consume. Please see it as what it is: a chance to engage, to be a part of a fandom, and to support a creator whether that’s financially emotionally or both.

A gentle reminder that Patreon on the whole was never meant to be just a "how much can you get" type of site, but a way to show your support to creators you enjoy with little bonuses as incentives to check out higher pledged tiers and to stick around so the creator keeps wanting to make more content to share. This page will still have all the bonuses it has always had: the FMs, the previews and bonus snippets, the ability to commission, and, in the event they happen, all of the events and contests :)

I'm sad that this change didn't work out the way I had hoped, but there's no such things as failures; it has been a learning experience. Thank you all for your patience with me as I muddle through this and try to make the best choices for my own mental health ♥ Thank you to all for your financial support of this Patreon that allows me to keep writing and thank you so much to all those who comment and engage and inspire me to keep writing ♥

Much love,

Icy

#writing #fanfiction #patreon #icypanther #icypantherwrites #voltron #lance #langst

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wangxianficrecs · 3 years

Note

re: the discussion around bookmarks and concrit. i also think that we authors need to be very careful in what kind of criticism we dismiss. there can be a tendency, in my experience, for authors to dismiss some very real concerns regarding racist elements in their works. that’s not limited to just the mdzs fandom—though mdzs being a non-english work does add to it—but more of a fandom in general issue. and because these can be some very personally harmful, not everyone who reacts to it does so politely. i understand why some people can feel a little defensive, but dismissing these concerns makes fandom spaces uncomfortable and even outright hostile to non-white fans. i always get a little nervous when i see issues like this come up, because there’s always a few people who see these things and think they shouldn’t listen to any criticism at all. i certainly don’t want to dismiss any of the very reasonable concerns that have been brought up today, though! i just want to remind people to be kind and thoughtful and respect the voices that oftentimes get drowned out.

Of course!

MOST of the time, an author does want to hear this kind of thing, and they’re simply oblivious or ill-informed.

Cultural sensitivity is a huge and very delicate issue... particularly in this fandom. I don't think it's easy to be black-and-white about it, either, because perspectives and backgrounds are so varied.

I should say right off the bat that I am a writer, and not a cultural minority -- so this is my perspective. And what I always come back to is: ask the writer if they want your feedback. Most of them do! There are reams of posts here on Tumblr about common pitfalls, people who are learning new ways to be sensitive, people who are sharing hard-learned lessons with newcomers.

Overall, fandom is open to learning and trying hard, which is gorgeous to see. Sometimes it's intuitive, and sometimes someone has to go through an arduous process of unlearning something they've 'known' all their lives. Here on Tumblr there are people who are either living in China or a couple generations removed from it who make very educational posts on things I've never thought about before in my life, and I love it. I love having my eyes opened (even if sometimes it's painful), I love understanding the context behind certain choices on the show, I just love getting to know new people and have insight into lives that are different from my own. I think most of the people bumbling around in this fandom feel the same way.

BUT. When you take someone to task about cultural sensitivities in their story you are making assumptions that

your opinion is the mouthpiece for an entire disparate culture

the author should somehow already have known what you're telling them

that the author is in a position where they can do more with writing/fandom than just see a show they love and dash off a story about it

I will tell you, as a human, that humans don't respond well to feeling attacked: it often makes them dig in their heels and entrench themselves.

So how can you educate an author? Ask if they want you to. Honestly. If they don't, then it doesn't matter whether you say something or not, they're not going to hear you.

Although I've seen a few fics where authors say right up front, 'I don't want cultural feedback' (which is fair warning to just hit the back button), the vast majority of them say they'd love any input from representatives of the culture they're trying to depict.

But, unless the author invites it (either in advance or in response to your query), the forum for educating people isn't the comment section of an individual fic. It's within the community as a whole, and it's happening robustly here, as far as I can tell, with posts and conversations and exchanges of ideas.

I watched romance novels go from bareback to condoms (I love this example, it applies to so much) and it didn't happen because someone started telling individual writers how they should write. It happened because new people started writing new stories (with condoms), stories that were well-written and felt more modern than the older writers. It happened because outside culture was changing, and the people living in it were aware of that. It happened because people had friends who were affected by the AIDS pandemic (this was in the 80s).

My point is: educate the people who WANT to be educated and ignore the ones that don't. They'll lag behind the cultural curve and eventually look around and realize that they're pretty isolated in their corner. Or they'll change, at their own pace, privately.

Meanwhile, keep writing meta. (That's where I learn the most, anyway, by reading those posts.) If you want your viewpoint shared, ask bigger blogs who deal with the same thing to boost you. Saturate fandom culture with the need for change and awareness of those myriad tiny things that people do or say that are harmful. Write fic where your culture is handled 'right'.

AND... tag, comment and bookmark on fics that do it well. Instead of focusing on authors who do it wrong (whatever that may be), boost the authors who are doing their research, who have sensitivity betas, who state openly that they want feedback. Start a tag like #culturally sensitive (which is staying positive, but still having impact) and DON'T use it on fics that haven't earned it. This is how bookmarks can be informative without being negative.

This is the kind of thing that spreads through, and eventually dominates, a culture. It's happening right now, it really is! I've been on tumblr for 9 years, and out in the world for nearly 50, and things are changing. So contribute to that in positive ways. Especially in fanfiction, where you know nothing about the author - not their age, their background, their mental state.

A simple question if they'd like feedback, or if there's a way to do it privately, or if they'd like you to beta in the future... I think most of the time you will get a very positive response. And it keeps you from being hurt and frustrated by beating your head against the wall of someone who's not open to listening.

#Anonymous #fandom etiquette #fandom #racism in fandom #any -ism in fandom #how to handle coaching and corrections

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

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Can’t everyone use tumblr how they want?

YES!

This site is exactly what people make of it for themselves. That was the exact point of that post. The fact that people reacted negatively to it at all proves my point. Seriously.

I have a number of other anons that are clearly from people who don't actually follow me, and are only here in a reactionary fashion having seen it on someone else's reblog, or else heard about it in passing and decided the best reaction to an ultimately harmless and rather bumbling post was to take personal offense and bring anonymous hate to a stranger on the internet. (and at least one not-anonymous "go kill yourself" type comment on the post itself)

THAT was the point of making that post.

For people who might be new to this fandom or new to tumblr in general (or even for people who have been here for years), your experience here is exactly what you make of it. I haven't seen that sort of vitriolic kneejerk reaction to anything I've written or posted in years. That post touched nerves. So it was a bit of an experiment, and I'm sorry to everyone who experienced any of that negativity second-hand. NOBODY should be made to feel like shit when engaging with something that is supposed to be fun. But I've learned over the years that that's exactly what some people consider fun.

There are new people to this fandom since the absolute free for all of the weeks after November 5th. We all reveled in those weeks before the show collapsed in on itself two weeks later. It was like 15 years worth of Hiatus Blogging followed by... well... some of the worst genuine hurt and disillusionment I've ever experienced or witnessed inflicted on a fandom by a piece of media.

There have to be at least a few people who floated into this fandom during that emotional roller coaster who want to make sense of it all, who were at least curious enough about how a show could've brought the characters to that emotional moment in 15.18 before effectively ignoring it all and burning the entire 15 year narrative to nothing just two episodes later.

Some folks stuck around to dig through the ashes of fandom in search of carrion, and that's fine. Some have zero desire to ever engage with the show or the fandom beyond mocking it for ever having existed at all, and that is also fine! But some folks? They might be wondering why anyone ever saw anything in this narrative to begin with, and they might be interested in knowing that there is this vast collection of information available to them (funny that none of my self-righteous anons even mentioned those, outside of one pointing out that my phrasing introducing that section of links was easily interpreted as condescending... which... yeah... again that was the point, and no I will not edit that language. none of us are free from sin).

Tumblr hasn't "changed." It was always this way. This site is not a monolith. Fandom is not a monolith. Even smaller groups within fandom aren't monoliths. Things that are considered "tumblr standard etiquette" do not exist across this entire website. And even within the supernatural fandom, and even within the tumblr-destiel-portion of the fandom there aren't "rules" dictating how you interact with anyone. Well, the one specific rule we should all be able to agree on is that you don't bring hate to real actual human beings, and yet...

There has ALWAYS been the option to engage with fandom here on whatever level an individual chooses. And that hasn't really changed since the finale aired. Anyone who thinks that Tumblr or the fandom has "evolved" or "changed" has likely just fallen in with a different fandom bubble then they'd existed within before. None of the bubbles have actually popped or disappeared. But which one you experience is entirely your own choice. You curate your experience here.

That was the point, illustrated by the vast array of comments I actually got on that post, structured with a little bit of everything including "tumblr mom from 2014." Everything pisses some people off, you know? Even the perception that some stranger on the internet might dare to lay down an arbitrary "rule" that zero people actually have to follow. See what I mean?

Because if any of the people who kneejerked at it actually followed me, or knew me at all, they wouldn't have kneejerked. They would've seen the point.

So your experience is what you make of it here. There are resources for people actually interested in engaging with the narrative or the fandom or the history of it. People mock "tumblr moms" or "fandom moms" all the time, but there wouldn't ~be~ a fandom without the people who actually build those resources. I.e. adults with the time, money, and personal investment in actually sustaining the fandom, instead of running around with torches trying to burn it down at every new whiff of perceived ~drama~ to latch on to.

For example, all of the scripts we've been acquiring and sharing with the entire fandom free of charge. I know that the fandom bubbles who seize on those scripts like hungry vultures to cough back up out of context "gotcha" posts postulating whatever theory of the differences between script and screen will dredge up the most drama or outrage in their fandom bubble... they haven't even considered how those scripts were acquired and made available to them. To them, they are "leaks." They are gifts that fell out of the sky and landed in their laps. There isn't even the barest curiosity about their origins or relevance beyond whatever social nourishment they derive by making up stuff and spouting it out with unearned authority. It's sad. But if that's how they enjoy the fandom, it's nice to remind them that none of the fandom they cannibalize would exist without the rest of us, too.

Yes, even the people you disagree with. Even the people who ship the things you find disgusting or repulsive. Even people who have an entirely different experience to your own. Even the people who are only here for those gotcha posts.

Fandom is not by nature a nihilistic shitshow, or no fandom would survive the amount of drama the 1% try to bring to it. Here have a fanlore article about this phenomenon. Right now, in Supernatural fandom, it feels like more than 1%, but I promise it really is only 1%. They're just really loud. There's actually other avenues to participatory fandom available to anyone who chooses to find them. Parts of this vast fandom that aren't focused on that 1% of reactionary leg-chewing at every turn. None of them are (as the linked article confirms) truly 100% free of unnecessary drama or bad behavior (including ME, I mean I MADE THAT POST!), but on tumblr you can curate your own experience. Fandom actually can be fun without burning down the thing you claim to be a fan of, or attacking other real human people for having the audacity to exist on the internet in a way you might believe is out of touch or pathetic. Seriously, nobody deserves to experience that from anyone over a fucking television show. Like seriously, take a step back and examine your life and your choices at that point.

Tumblr was exactly the same as a fandom community when I joined as it is now. Throughout my entire time here, I've curated my own personal experience to exactly what I derive the most personal satisfaction from. During that time I have had numerous friends and mutuals lament that their personal experience had become so toxic, but they were afraid to trim those blogs from their dash for fear of having no content left to engage with at all. For years there have been follow lists and blog recs and people desperate to find a more "peaceful and fun" fandom experience. People grow exhausted and embittered when their entire experience of fandom is an emotionally draining drama train. It's like pandemic doom scrolling, but for the thing that should be a respite from that sort of mindset, something that's supposed to be entertainment. The show did enough to us all, we don't have to turn around and re-inflict it on each other day in and day out on tumblr dot com.

So if even one person saw my post and thought well shit maybe I actually want to engage with a wider swath of fandom and see what's there, after seven months of post-finale drama, this whole other region of fandom is still here, still being the curators of the archives, the creators of stories and art and meta and gifs and videos and actually caring about it all that will keep this fandom going long after the current round of exhausting drama inevitably plays itself out.

The amount of in-group language in the negative replies I got was unsurprising. It's like folks are living in an alternate universe that doesn't mesh at all with what I experience on this exact same hellsite. Almost like we exist in entirely different bubbles of fandom, with entirely different purposes for existing at all. Everyone on this hellsite gets to pick which bubble (or bubbles) to take up residence in. Some people simply forget that their personal bubble isn't the universal defining experience of this site. Unfortunately, I doubt my little disruption to their bubbles will actually make any of them see that, but you anon... I think you did.

You are highly encouraged to engage with fandom EXACTLY THE WAY YOU CHOOSE. You have the ultimate power in controlling your entire experience here. Tumblr and Supernatural Fandom on tumblr is not Just One Thing that everyone who wants to participate in must conform to one specific code of ethics or behavior to be part of. And that NOBODY has the right to tell anyone else they're doing it wrong (including ME! I am 100% including myself in this!).

It's not MY job to dictate how anyone else experiences this fandom, as much as it was not the job of the people who reblogged my post (which I did not personally shove into their eyeballs with a demand for compliance... how did any of those people even *find* my post?) solely to tell me how *I* need to change how I experience the fandom, you see? Don'tcha love hypocrisy!

But the point was made for those who care, and a lot of people got to update their block lists (I still don't block anyone, as I said I curated my fandom space here and generally don't follow folks that don't personally make me happy and enrich my life by engaging with their content. However other people choose to engage with *my* content (any of it, going back nearly 50k posts over the last decade) is their business entirely. Sometimes I just feel the need to draw out people who are all too eager to expose their own whole asses in public. Mission accomplished.

#fandom problems #and again i'm sorry that anyone i know was exposed to ugliness because of this #but everyone i know also knows that i'm probably the least easily upset person in this corner of the fandom #if even one person achieved a modicum of self-awareness that their experience is not universal #that there IS no universal experience even #then i guess the point was made

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timothypines · 3 years

Text

Is Classical Music Dead? (Essay)

How does society determine when a particular genre of music is dead? From this question, multiple others are born. For example, do we consider that the inspiration from music continued throughout popular genres as the survival of what it was originally? Or is it dead because it has changed into something different from its original form? When it comes to classical music, it isn’t really as question about whether or not it is dead, but if it’s dying. Classical music is still being performed, listened to, and celebrated in communities today, so calling it dead seems premature, even foolish. That’s not to say that the average person believing classical music is dying is without merit; classical music isn’t usually on the radar for say a random person asked off the street. However, when looked at from the perspective of the musical community, classical music is positively flourishing and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

In a New York Times Article, a violinist showed concern that the classical music industry was dying. Some readers responded in letters reacting to the concerns she expressed. The violinist started by saying, “A schoolboy recently asked me if Richard Wagner was a pitcher for the Yankees. At that moment I feared that classical music in America was doomed” (Dreyer). Like this violinist expressed, most people in the music community, and outside the community, acknowledge that classical music isn’t a subject that most people going through life know a whole lot about. While many know some parts of classical pieces and perhaps some names of famous composers, their knowledge is surface level and, for the most part, they don’t seek to learn more. This reflects in some worrying trends in the industry. Classical radio stations were shutting down, concerts were being reduced and canceled, less and less were classical musicians being discussed (Dreyer). Classical music simply isn’t popular. But from this trend came a great wave of musicians, teachers, and lovers of classical music who were determined to spread the love and knowledge of a music they deemed immensely important, and rightfully so.

Most all of the music we have and enjoy today has elements that came from classical music, from the most basic to the more complex. The major-minor scale system that is commonly used in the majority of today’s music was first put into use in the baroque period. It was in this period that the scale system was also standardized (Willoughby). In fact, the baroque period standardized a great many musical tools, styles, and elements. From this period developed keyboard music, which lead to the invention of the modern piano, an instrument that can be argued to be the most important instrument when it comes to creating music, harmony, a base element in most music performed today, and the establishment of the orchestra (Willoughby). It would take a long time to list all of the musical elements gained and standardized in the baroque period, but it is certain that music would not look nearly the same if not for the major development that occurred.

The baroque period, while very important, wasn’t the only period that significantly influenced music. The romantic period brought what was missing from music in the baroque period back into the musical community, emotion. A big emphasis on music today is how it makes the listener feel. While the baroque period brought technicality, all emotion was sacrificed for ridged structure and extremely complex technique. Beethoven put emotion into his music, effectively shifting people’s approach to composing. Willoughby writes, “These attributes of Beethoven mirror the attributes of the Romantic period as a whole; it was a time when artistic expression became highly individual and personal, and also highly emotional” (Willoughby, 253). With this wave of emotion came another change; music started being made for music’s sake. Composers started writing what they wanted to hear instead of what was popular or what the church needed for service. A large part of what music is now has come from classical music, and most people within the music community, of many genres, understand and respect this.

It is important to be noted that while people respect the roots that classical music has provided, that doesn’t mean that people are very supportive of how it exists, or rather, how they believe it exists. There is a notion that classical music is elitist, for the rich and privileged only. One could point to the expensive ticketing for opera and ballets and orchestra performances to prove this point, but there are many things that are just as or even more expensive than these tickets that people don’t find elitist—for example, sporting events (Cross-eyed Pianist). Some people will point at the etiquette and dress for attendance at a concert hall. The fact remains, however, that opera houses and concert halls have no official dress code or strict rules everyone must follow. Music blogger and commenter goes on to say, “It troubles me, this negative perception of classical music and its fans, and it strikes me that currently there is an image crisis surrounding classical music. It wasn’t always like this. When I was growing up in the 1970s, there was more classical music in our everyday lives” (Cross-eyed Pianist). Most people have the notion that classical music is only accessible to and is only made for those better off than themselves, even though it has been available to and made for everyone’s ears for centuries now.

With that in mind, the love for classical music itself has not died out yet. There is a vast and passionate community of musicians, teachers, and listeners who adore classical music and saw it failing in the wider community. These people have worked hard and are continuing to work hard to spread a passion for classical music. An excellent example of some people doing this is the YouTube duo who run the channel Two Set Violin. On this channel they make comedy sketches, play games, and react to videos. All of this content is tied together by one thing, classical music. Brett and Eddy, the two friends who run Two Set, are professionally trained violinists who decided to make a YouTube channel to try and spread love for classical music. It was also important to them to make classical music and the education of classical music more accessible. They teach about music in an engaging, funny way all while encouraging their audience to create and perform music. Their saying is simply ‘practice’. They encourage their musician audience members by reminding them that no one who is really good at playing an instrument got there without hard work and tell them to keep practicing. Two Set has even brought on large musicians like Hillary Han and Benny Chen to talk about their experiences and the importance of practicing. This helps to break the stereotype of not only what a classical musician looks like, but how they act and how much work goes into their music. In one video, while reacting to an American Idol performance with two violinists, one of the judges says, “It’s so nice to see such young, good looking guys that play the violin because usually they’re like old and bald and, you know, a bit greasy” (Two Set Violin). They respond by pointing out that they themselves are young and that this is a negative stereotype. In another video they react to a man that says he is the fastest violin player in the world. Brett says, “the world needs to know that classical music is more than just playing fast” (Two Set Violin). In these two videos, Brett and Eddy are challenging the media’s, and greater public’s, view of classical music, the view that classical music is old, for old people, and the people who participate are elitists who only care about perfection and technicality. And they have done so much more than videos like these reaction to other musicians. They have had videos where they have their followers compose a piece and send it to them to play. They have asked people to send in clips of them performing for them to react to. In so many ways these two violinists have gotten so many people involved in classical music. Over the years they have grown a great following of people who love participating in classical music, whether that be through performance or listening; as of today, they have almost 3 million subscribers (Two Set Violin). Brett and Eddy aren’t the only people who have gotten the public more involved in classical music. As social media has grown, classical musicians have become increasingly accessible to the public. The violinist Hillary Han often posts on Instagram videos of her practicing and other music related things, but she also speaks on social issues and gives insight into her life. This shows all 300,000 followers she is human (violincase).

It is difficult to say whether or not a musical genre is dead, and even harder to say if it’s dying. The act of music dying would take centuries, and even then, there are arguments to be made that because other music that exists was influenced by the ‘dead’ music, it still lives. Classical music was the popular music for centuries, its memory will not so easily fade, especially to the point where it is considered a dead genre. Even if it is not a popular genre today, classical music is being kept alive by the musicians who perform it and the people who love to listen to it. Music is art that decorates and marks time, and so, as long as people paint time with classical music, it is not dead.

Work Cited

Dreyer, Les. “Sunday Dialogue: Is Classical Music Dying?” The New York Times, 2012. https://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/25/opinion/sunday/sunday-dialogue-is-classical-music-dying.html

Willoughby, David. The World of Music. McGraw-Hill Higher Education. Kindle Edition.

The Cross-Eyed Pianist. “Who Made Classical Music ‘elitist’?” The Cross-Eyed Pianist, 2019. https://crosseyedpianist.com/2019/07/24/who-made-classical-music-elitist/

Two Set Violin. “The World's FASTEST (and most INACCURATE) VIOLINIST!” YouTube, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvsvaCU6i1M&ab_channel=TwoSetViolin

Two Set Violin. “Classical Violinists React to Mainstream Violin Competitions” YouTube, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uVN5Fb_Z44&ab_channel=TwoSetViolin

Han, Hillary. “@violincase” Instagram.

#classical music #music #twosetviolin #hillary han

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katsukikitten · 4 years

Text

Irritated 9

Short but hey at least I'm writing again.

WARNINGS: 18+ AU, Dark Adult themes, proceed with caution.

"Moving onto the most crucial point of this meeting. Due to the heavy rumors of the reappearance of the league of villains and high end nomus I need the two of you to be in..." But the rest of the conversation is drowned out by the rushing blood in the ash blonde's ears.

Teetering on the back two legs of his chair as his eyes burn holes into that damn emerald mop head who is ever present in his life.

The same dumb ass who asks questions about this meeting.

But he isn't asking the right ones.

Hell everyone seems to be avoiding the elephant in the room as they carry on normal conversation all the while the hot head grows even hotter.

The swirling rage demanding his undivided attention while his ribs echo his heart beat.

Finally he snaps, slamming down the two front legs of his chair, palms hissing as explosions ring out stunning the other two in the room.

The wood at his seat is forever charred, while yours was always neat, easy to forget as they seem to have now.

Hell even Izuku was sitting in your normal seat.

"Oi, how much longer are you two gonna act like nothing is fucking wrong?" He growls, Izuku looks away with flamed cheeks proving Bakugou's theory right.

Izuku was worried too, he was just too scared to ask.

"I don't follow."

"You lying fucker. You *do* follow. When was the last you heard form Y/N?!" He slams his phone on the table when no one answers, "Since she quit right?"

"So that makes it a whole fucking month. No one has seen her, no one has heard from her and her insta is dead." He shoves the phone in their faces. The last picture you posted was of Bakugou and Deku standing next to All Might's cut out.

"She could be on vacation." Yami counters to which Bakugou snorts.

"And she wouldn't want any dumbass pictures of the beach with an even shittier caption?" He hisses, "No paparazzi has seen her?"

"I'm sure she's been spotted."

"Where? All the tabloids question her where abouts."

"Staycation. No one knows where she lives. She was always good at that." Yami counters, nervously sipping at his coffee causing the blonde to grind his teeth.

"How is she eating if I still have her fucking card?" He slams the plastic on the table that clatters with it's own dramatic flare.

Director Yami gulps desperate for an excuse as Deku's eyes widen.

"New card." Yami shrugs making his way back to the bulletin points behind him.

"Its still active." The room is enveloped in that sweet burning sugary smell as his temper rises. He is no longer playing Mr. Nice guy.

"Activate her tracker." Its a threat and a promise all in one. Do as I say or become fuel for my explosions is everything his eyes say.

"S...she threw her bracelet at me when she resigned." Yami tries to sound direct as Izuku subconsciously fingers the metal on his own wrist.

"Yea but I doubt she did that with the one that's implanted. Pull it up Yami."

The director is stunned into silence before a burning blush creeps onto his face.

"I..." He clears his throat no longer able to hold eye contact with either party, "I don't think it will work."

"What?!" A snarl and a shocked retort echo in the room.

"What do you mean?" Another set of polar opposite tones ring out in the small stuffy place of the meeting room. Yami fishes for his phone in his pocket, pulling up the neglected app swallowing thickly as he is proved right.

The map shows no red dots. Only the hundreds of blue caused by the bracelets. He pushes the phone to the center of the table, the proximity is close enough to reactivate the trackers in the two men. Slowly two red dots flicker to life beside blue.

The third never makes an appearance.

"Why isn't hers showing?" Izuku asks, a glare beginning to weigh heavy in his jade eyes.

"If it's not checked monthly then it deactivates on it's own." He pinches the bridge of his nose, "In my defense I had seen the three of you everyday for the last few months. You guys are a PR nightmare!"

Bakugou's glare narrows in on the ignorant man who was in charge of the safety of hundreds of heroes.

He was going to be pay for his ignorance.

Izuku watches the hot head's toned arm lift, palm spread wide, realizing just in time Bakugou's intentions. He lunges for his old friend, knocking him off balance as the two of them fight. The two men struggling for dominance before the blonde comes out on top.

Literally, pinning the emerald haired man, as he raises a fist, sure to make contact with his stupid, freckled face.

He always hated this face, but you, you didn't seem to mind it.

And yet, in a sense, Deku had let you down too.

But no one let you down as much as Bakugou had. Or so he thinks, he keeps telling himself something isn't right, that he should have followed you.

Maybe even apologized.

"And fuck you too Useless Deku! Too much of a pussy to ask about your fucking friends!" He brings his fist down, aided by the power of his quirk.

Deku shuts his eyes and hope he doesn't lose too many teeth.

The punch makes contact but not with Izuku's face. Instead Bakugou's forearm is half swallowed by carpet, concrete and steel biting into his flesh. He ignores it with a growl. He rises with a growl, scarlet eyes set in determination as he blasts the door from its hinges.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The smell of damp Earth and harsh chemicals assault your nostrils as your vision rapidly fades in and out.

As if it watching an old film, images flickering by just fast enough to give it the effect of motion.

But this felt like a horror film.

And one you are staring in. Your breath comes rapid and hitched as you try to fight the silent fingers that slowly caress against your brain. Each nail numbing a part of your thought process as motion catches your eye from beneath a side door to your right.

The door open illuminating the shadow as a hiss of your bracelets pierce into your skin, injecting you with something that pulls you under faster than the figure can appear before you.

"I think I need to lower the dosage doll. I want those pretty eyes to see their new home I've built." His voice echos in the darkness before all thought is lost to you.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

In Bakugou's moment of rage a thought occured to him. One that has floated through his mind for longer than he can remember.

If he wanted something to be done right then he ought to just do it his damnself.

His strong legs carry him down the stairs and winding halls to the records room. Like clockwork the attendant had left for his smoke break at exactly six o clock.

Something Bakugou had noticed years ago and filed away as possibly important.

Just in case he needed to borrow a file without having to check it out.

And he definitely doesn't anyone to know that he may or may not be looking for you.

Because they were more than likely going to try to stop him.

The hot head knew he had a least fifteen minutes, especially since the evening receptionist smoked at this time as the quiet record keeper. The basement dwelling attendant hoping to mac on the handsome receptionist in that short time.

Bakugou was thankful for the stupidity of others for once as he slipped into the records room with the spare key that was tapped beneath the desk.

The room is vast, reeking of mildew and damage paper mixed in with stained ink. He never understood why cases and records were filed manually instead of digitally but today he was grateful for the current CEO's laziness and the former CEO's aversion to both change and technology.

Older records are kept on steel shelves stacked in brown boxes that had to date back to the seventies or eighties while the more recent files were tucked away in half rusted filing cabinets, lining the musty brick walls.

There was no method to the company's madness, the records seemed to be filed haphazardly and more or less half assed over the years by someone whose dreams of being a hero hadn't fully flickered out.

But clearly they had settled for protecting rotting paper in favor of the public.

Bakugou growls as his eyes drag along each paper plaquer none in the exact order he needs. Some even slid into the metal casing upside down.

At least that's how he finds the one labeled "new hires 20XX". His cheeks hurt from his devilish grin before he yanks one of the doors open.

Again organization is thrown to the wind as files sit out of alphabetical order.

Chaotically mingling with one another having Bakugou grind his teeth.

Finally he finds your file, tattered and coffee stained as if someone revisited it quite often. He opens the Manila folder, more than ready to commit your address and whatever other information he could gain from the thick folder before an idea strikes him.

Would anyone even notice a missing file in this mess?

Hell it had taken him almost ten minutes to find and it wasn't as if the director was concerned with your well being.

His eyes narrow at your address, wondering why you chose to live in such a run down part of town before he slips the folder into the front of his pants swiftly covering it with his shirt.

He returns to the front of the record room, quietly shutting the cage door before he takes his gloved hand to the tape.

The door to the left stairwell clangs open. Two male voices echoing in the hall.

"I...I mean that's if...if you want to meet for drinks when you g..get off."

Bakugou rolls his eyes, deft fingers adhering the key back to its home just before the other make answers.

Delight in his voice that twists Bakugou's stomach in whole, green jealousy.

"I'd love to see you later. Until then." What could be a peck on the cheek follows as Bakugou slips into the opposite stairwell.

Wondering why the hell it seemed blossoming relationships came so easily to everyone around him.

His ribs throb as a reminder that that was something he would never have the privilege to experience as your voice echos in his head.

"We were never friends."

The mineola folder suddenly feels too hot against his skin, burning even. For a second he wonders why he is even doing this.

Why he's bothering himself with finding someone that clearly doesn't care for his company. He thinks to himself that he will just place the folder in his desk, that he'll abandon the notion of being a sleuth and return to his hot headed no fucks given ways.

But you whisper in his head once more with a weak, sleepy tone.

"Please stay, Katsuki."

Strengthening his resolve to find you once more.

#bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha bakugou katsuki #bnha au #bnha angst #bakugou angst #bakugou au #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo #bakugou katsuki #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo imagine #bakugo x you

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peace-coast-island · 3 years

Text

Diary of a Junebug

Exploring the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula

Garnet bamboo trees are cool to look at. They don't seem like much at first glance but when you look closely, you can see little buds poking out, like tiny gem shards. I guess that's how the bamboo got its name - the buds do look like a bunch of tiny garnets.

This place is chock full of them and according to Yasmine, it's the only known place where they grow. Aside from the unusual buds, it's like any other bamboo plant - but that doesn't make it any less special. The flowers however are used in teas and soups, so those are local specialties here. They add a subtle bittersweet flavor that goes well with many soups and stir fried veggies.

I've been here for a couple days exploring the peninsula with Nathan, Yasmine, Dello, and Donna. Originally it was just me, Nate, and Yasmine, then we ran into the Clanwings so our trio became a quintet!

Yasmine and Nathan are on break from grad school. I didn't even know Yasmine went to the same college until recently, having just enrolled in the spring semester. I remember that she was debating going back to school after leaving the entourage. She and Nathan aren't in any classes together but since it's a small school they sometimes run into each other at the commons so they kinda know each other.

I've never heard of the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula until Yasmine brought it up. She heard about the place through Jamie, who of course would know about it. Along with the bamboos, the place is known for its cafes and bike trails. Being an avid biker and motorcyclist, Yasmine was intrigued. So when she suggested traveling there to me and Nathan, we became intrigued too.

The peninsula really is a lovely place for sightseeing and hanging out at cafes. It's perfect for a chill vacation where you don't really want to do too much other than be in a different setting. Just seeing the garnet bamboos up close and trying the local cuisine is enough of a fun experience. If that's all we end up doing, then I'm more than satisfied.

While biking along the beach trail, we ran into Dello and Donna. Dello somehow got his bike stuck and Donna was having no luck helping him. So we pitched in and managed to get the bike out, but it was in pretty bad shape. Based on how the crash scene looked, it's lucky that Dello only had a few scrapes and bruises.

Then again, I'm pretty sure Dello - and Donna - are like physically immune or something because they can take a lot of damage and somehow not break any bones or get crushed. It's funny but also kinda weird and unsettling - even they're low key freaked out by it sometimes. I'm pretty sure their uncle had something to do with that - likely by accident as that tends to happen a lot with the Clanwings.

Anyway, we invited Dello and Donna to dinner after helping them with the bike problem. They were sent by their uncle for a business trip and were planning to leave soon. Then they decided to extend their stay because things are a bit chaotic at home and Louise suggested that they hang around for a bit. She didn't elaborate too much but she insisted that they postpone going home so we assume it has something to do with their dear old uncle getting into some sort of trouble.

So Donna and Dello are now on a short vacation, which Donna's looking forward to. Dello admitted that he could use a break, but he also feels kinda bad for leaving Louise alone with the kids. Louise says she and the boys surprised the kids with a camping trip so they won't be at the mansion either. So whatever their uncle has gotten himself into, he's on his own.

It's been fun exploring the peninsula, gathering flowers, visiting cafes, and enjoying the view. We also took turns riding with Yasmine on her motorcycle, which was kinda scary at first but a lot of fun!

Yasmine's got an impressive collection of motorcycles as well as a vast knowledge on them. She occasionally works as a stunt rider, which was how Jamie met her. She's one of those people who gives off the impression of being a cool badass type and not only she is, but she's fun to hang out with too!

Before that, Yasmine was an actress best known on the Teen Scene sitcom Popular Besties. The show, I'll admit, was not that good, but I enjoyed it as a kid. The episodes tend to be a hit or miss and the first two seasons were all right but by the third and final season it was tedious. It was pretty obvious that Yasmine and her co-star were tired of the show so it wasn't a surprise when they later revealed that they quit, which was why season four was scrapped at the last minute.

Since getting to know Yasmine, I can't help but think of how her talents were wasted on Popular Besties. A lot of actors who debuted on Teen Scene have mixed feelings regarding their breakout roles and have since then moved on to better things. Yasmine still acts occasionally, though she's slowly phasing away from the entertainment industry. She says she's still not quite sure what direction she wants to go in but grad school's a start as well as continuing to pursue motorcycle racing.

Nathan has got a look at Yasmine's motorcycle collection and as expected, he was impressed. We don't know too much about those kinds of things but we know an impressive collection when we see one. I'm glad that they're getting along well - Yasmine's the type who easily becomes friends with everyone, even with people you'd think she wouldn't have much in common with. It's not that she and Nate are opposites but they come from completely different circles so it's unlikely that their paths would ever cross.

Things in Astra are pretty much the same for Nathan, and that's the way he and his family like it. He did mention that he visited Evan's grave for the first time in months, a kinda spur of the moment thing he didn't expect to do. He said he was reading a case study for a class that stirred up some memories so he had to step back when it became too much. Then he found himself at the cemetery and that kinda helped, or at least it grounded him. He told his therapist about it and she said some things that has left him thinking about the past.

I hope that one day he'll finally find peace with that. Nathan's come a long way since we first met and while what happened to his brother still hangs over him, at least he no longer beats himself up over it. That's why he wants to help people, to prevent tragedies like Evan, to save those going through a downward spiral no matter how far gone or beyond saving they think they are.

Dello and Donna have been up to the usual as well, shenanigans and all. Easton's hanging out with Rolly a lot so now they're best friends. Edie's happy about that as she mentioned that before Rolly, Easton didn't have too many close friends his age, probably because he's used to being around those older than him. Stork pops in often as usual and it's never a dull moment when he's around. We got to video chat with Louise and the kids, which was nice. They're all having a great time out on the road, sightseeing like we are.

Philly asked Nathan and Yasmine about Astra as he wants to go to grad school and is always looking far ahead in the future. Tally, as expected, asked about the garnet buds in hopes of using Tally Inc. to make a profit. Dello promised Rosie to bring home some sweet treats, particularly the pink moonberry daifuku a local cafe is famous for. Molly and her friends popped in for a bit just to say hi as well so it was nice to catch up with everyone.

The Clanwings are what most would consider an eccentric family. In a way, they kinda remind me of the McManns, except a lot bigger. Apparently they're kinda distantly related so I guess that explains the similarities. Both heads of the families are rich old men who happen to have a late younger sister, both who have twins who are left to keep an eye on their uncles. The uncles tend to get in trouble during their adventures so a lot of people end up mixing the families up.

Strangely though, even though I know Rocky, Chrissie, Dello, and Donna and they all know each other, I've never hung out with all four of them at once. Like I've known them for years and they live in Cityburg so you'd think at some point I'd meet up with Chrissie and Donna or Dello and Rocky on separate occasions but it hasn't happened yet. I mean it will (should) happen one day but I just find it funny that it hasn't.

Speaking of Rocky and Chrissie, we talked about them a bit. Dello said he dropped by to see Rocky and Lex before coming here. We joke that Rocky and Lex should tie the knot before baby #3 comes along, especially now that they're engaged but with no wedding date set yet. They've been pretty much following Dello and Louise with the whole having two kids before getting married. Though from the looks of it, I don't think Rocky and Lex plan on adding another family member anytime soon, if ever.

I don't know how Dello and Louise did it, having four kids roughly a year apart. Rosie and Lessi are 14 months apart, both were pre-marriage, Lessi and Cissy are about a year and a half apart being the widest age gap, then Cissy and Rolly, aka the planned post marriage ones, at 10 months because Rolly came early. So basically Louise was on and off pregnant for 4-5 years, which is insane.

As for Donna, she had the boys and that was it. Before that, it was apparently rumored that the Clanwings were at risk of dying out since Dello and Donna were the only heirs left as for some reason the family members are against marriage, or at least have no interest in it. At this point Dello's the only living Clanwing who's married, but even he and Louise were on the fence about marriage for a while.

So we met up at this place called the Pink Daifuku and enjoyed a bunch of sweet treats. The peach mochi cakes are my favorite as well as the green garnet rose tea. We also shared a bottle of sweet white wine infused with garnet bamboos, which add an interesting flavor. I think this is the sweetest wine I've ever tasted - it's good but a bit too overpowering, something that would probably be paired better with a meal instead of desserts or alone.

Tomorrow we're gonna visit the Diamond Winery to try some more garnet wines and see how they're made. The winery's on one of the top places to visit in the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula because it has a gorgeous view of the cliffs and it's the only place where garnet wines are made. Dello and Donna are into that kind of stuff so of course they'd want to check it out. Yasmine said she always wanted to try the garnet champagne while Nathan and I are looking forward to taking a bunch of nice pics as well as the free wine samples.

After the cafe we rented some bikes and explored the Waybright Plains trail. There, we looked at the ruins and collected some garnet bamboo. Something about Waybright feels eerie, then again that's how most abandoned places feel like. Exploring ruins up close and personal is always an interesting experience.

We tried to solve something that looked like a puzzle involving the torches but couldn't figure it out. I think we were close though as we managed to light all but one of the torches up. Well, I was never really good at puzzles anyway, and maybe it's probably for the best that we didn't activate what was in there. I mean, I doubt it's like a trap or something, but it is kinda weird that a device like that still works and is just left out in the open. Dello was right to be a bit iffy about it, especially from personal experience.

Yeah, as tempting as it can be, I think we're better off leaving those alone. I don't want to be responsible for causing a catastrophe by messing around with something I shouldn't have.

Time flies quickly when you're wandering the corridors of old ruins. It's easy to get lost in a place like this - I'm surprised that we managed to stay together the whole time. And not only that, but we also managed not to set off any traps or have any accidents along the way so another win. Then again, these ruins are open to the public so that obviously wouldn't be a problem or else we wouldn't have been able to just freely walk in.

For the trip back, we took the scenic route. The trails are super well lit so there's no worries about it getting too dark - and we were out pretty late. Riding around the peninsula at night has a different vibe than in the daytime. I think it's the glow of the lanterns that add to this sorta dreamy, disconnected vibe that makes it so chill. Plus the trails aren't as busy at this time of night so it's just us and the garnet bamboo. If it weren't for the mosquitos, I'd go on nighttime hikes more often.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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uncloseted · 3 years

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Hey, I’m a big fan of your blog! When I saw the post about stupid questions, I thought I’d ask for some help. This isn’t necessarily stupid, but I don’t know.

How can I seem more confident?

I am confident within myself, but people are always telling me how insecure I am. Everyone is saying that I should be more confident. I don’t feel insecure, so why do I seem that way? I can be kind of quiet, so maybe that’s why.

Thanks! This isn’t a stupid question at all! The thing I get asked the most is actually how to build self-confidence or to care less about what other people think. For you, it seems like the issue isn’t actually in having self confidence, but in projecting self confidence. Some of that is in body language- having good, open posture (no crossed arms or legs), making eye contact, standing firmly, and not fidgeting will help to convey confidence. Some of it is in language- instead of hedging what you’re going to say will, “I think” or “maybe” or minimizing your feelings with “just”, try making clear, concise, and strong statements that end declaratively rather than questioningly. And some of it is in actions- do you ask everyone around you what they think before you make a decision? Do you defer to other people when a decision has to be made? Do you do things that you’re interested in, wear things you want to wear, watch what you want to watch, etc., regardless of what your friends are doing? You might appear more confident if you start asserting yourself or focusing less on what other people think of you.

Here are some other tips and tricks I’ve amassed for building self-confidence and not caring what other people think. Some of it might be relevant for you and some of it might not, but hopefully someone who needs it will see it.

The first thing to remember about confidence is that people aren’t drawn to people because they’re beautiful, or smart, or kind, or fun, or interesting. People are drawn to people who are confident (or appear to be confident). If you’re confident and weird, you’re not weird, you’re a visionary. If you’re confident and ugly, you’re not ugly, you’re “unconventionally beautiful” or a trendsetter. If you’re confident and overly serious, you’re not boring, you’re a leader. A lot of people think it’s the other way around- that only beautiful, smart, charming people who are well-liked can be confident- but it’s not true. To use a Skins example, Tony’s not a good person. He’s manipulative and cruel. But people like him (at least in the beginning) and go along with what he says because he’s confident. The same goes for Katie. You can argue about whether she’s objectively the most attractive girl in the group, but she acts confident in herself and in her appearance, and it works. Lots of guys are attracted to her. So that’s the first thing- don’t focus on changing yourself (physically or emotionally) in the hopes that you’ll be more confident. Instead, focus on changing your mindset to that of a confident person. It will make a huge difference.

Of course, that’s all easier said than done, and the process of building self confidence can take a while. In the meantime, while you’re on the journey of actually becoming confident, one thing that can help is “faking it until you make it”. When you’re going about your day, ask yourself, “how would a confident person who’s never experienced insecurity or anxiety handle this situation”? Then do what a confident person would do. If you have a really confident friend, it can help to imagine what they would do in a given situation and then do that. Pretend everyone you meet already loves you and thinks you’re great. Pretend like you think you’re great. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but you’ll start getting used to it and the “confident” responses to things will start feeling normal. One thing that can make this a little bit easier is to talk to yourself in the second person. By saying things like “you’ve got this”, your brain will (sort of) feel like you’re receiving advice from somebody else, which is more motivating than getting advice from ourselves.

There are also some exercises you can use to build your self confidence on your own. Some of you have heard this one before, so bare with me, but the first thing I suggest is: every morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say some things you like about yourself. I know you probably feel like you can’t find any, but try. Focus on those things that you like and try to only focus on those things. Write them down, either physically (on a sticky note on your mirror, maybe) or in your phone. Each day, try to add a new thing to the list. When you’re out and about, remember those things that you like about yourself, focus on them, and try to draw attention to them. When other people compliment you, add those to your list as well. I think eventually by recognizing all of the things that you like about yourself, you’ll be able to feel like there are things about you that you can be confident in, and you won’t focus so much on the things that you feel are negative. These don’t have to just be things that are physical. You should include things you like about your personality as well.

A lot of people who are insecure use deprecating humor to cope and as a bid to get other people to like them. But I think that can be really emotionally damaging. Like Hannah Gadsby said in Nanette, “I have built a career out of self-deprecating humor, and I don’t want to do that anymore..do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility. It’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak, and I simply will not do that anymore, not to myself or anybody who identifies with me.” Self-deprecation impacts our self-esteem, and it impacts the way people around us view us. The more times we say something, even as a joke, the more we start to believe it, and the more the people around us start to believe it. So instead, make fun of yourself by pretending you’re really, really cocky. If you trip and fall, instead of saying, “I’m such a disaster”, replace it with “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”. If you make a piece of art and you think it sucks, say, “Obviously I’m the next Di Vinci/Michelangelo/whatever.” If you say something dumb, instead of saying, “I’m so stupid,” say, “I’m clearly the next Einstein.” You still get to make a joke and diffuse any awkwardness the situation has, but you also get practice saying nice things about yourself. And eventually, you’ll get so used to saying nice things about yourself as a joke that it won’t feel so weird to say those things about yourself in a serious way, too.

For those people who feel insecure about things they did in their past, try and think of something embarrassing one of your friends has done. Can you think of anything? The vast majority of people remember their own embarrassing moments really vividly, but don’t remember things other people have done at all. Reminding yourself that you’re probably the only one who remembers or cares about the mistake you made can help you let go. The mistakes you’ve made in the past are learning experiences that you’ve grown from and changed from, and the fact that you’re embarrassed by them is a good thing. It means that you’re not that person anymore- that you’ve become someone better. I think that’s something to celebrate instead of something to cringe at. It can also help to talk to yourself as if you were a friend who’s remembering an embarrassing moment. Would you tell them how embarrassing that moment was and how much they suck? Probably not. You’d be nice to them and tell them things will be okay. Talk to yourself like you would a friend.

The fact that people aren’t paying attention to what you’re doing doesn’t just apply to cringey things you did in your past. People are unlikely to remember that one time you tried a new hairstyle or wore an unusual piece of clothing. They’re unlikely to remember that one time you asked someone out and they rejected you. So many of the social pressures we feel can be remedied by remembering that most people are way too worried about what they’re doing and how they appear to the world to care about what you’re doing.

One more piece of advice- stop comparing yourself to other people. The old adage, “comparison is the thief of joy” is totally, scientifically proven to be true. Comparing ourselves to other people (or to TV shows, movies, characters in books, etc) makes us much less happy because we’re comparing everything we know about ourselves, good and bad, with a curated version of this person. We don’t see them when they wake up in the morning with crusty eyes and frizzy hair, or when they have the flu, or when they’re overwhelmed and anxious and lashing out at the people around them. But the truth is that everyone, even the people you think have perfect lives that you see on social media, are just people. They have bad habits and negative traits and days where they’re not at their best, just like the rest of us. If you really want to start being confident, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to mute or unfollow the people who make you feel insecure online, and replace them with people who inspire you- artists or activists or cute videos of animals, whatever works. You’ll never be able to feel good about yourself if you’re constantly tracking all the ways in which you feel you don’t measure up. But you will if you’re constantly seeing all the ways in which you do.

Last thing. Basic life care stuff, like good posture, exercising, eating well, sleeping well, meditating, and just generally practicing self-care and taking care of yourself can improve your confidence as well. If you’re not starting on a strong foundation, it’s hard to build anything that will last. But if your foundation is solid, all of the things you do to build your self-confidence on top of that will be, too.

#Anonymous #effys-closet #effys closet

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nonsensical-twistedriddles · 4 years

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21 - noctambulist

hello hello ! i’m happy to see that you like my writing style and, of course we could be buddies (us newbies gotta stick together) o(TヘTo) くぅit took me a while to figure out the flow of this piece so hopefully you’ll end up liking what i’ve scrounged up for you ! good luck with yours too and stay safe! i’m worried i rushed the ending again hh

📝to note: this is a repost because the initial post somehow got deleted ! the “you” in this story will be taking up the mc role ! also, we’re past 100 followers for this blog ! thank you so much to everyone who’s been supporting me and reading my work, this means a whole lot to me・゜(。┰ω┰。).・゜i don’t have anything in mind right now for a special so, if it’s alright with everyone, i’d like to ask for a few suggestions in regards to this |ω；｀) i haven’t much of a clue on what to do to be honest since this is my first time having a writing blog｡

【 𝔫𝔬𝔠𝔱𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 ; malleus draconia : “ do you, too, dream of me ? “ after returning you to your world, malleus can’t help but feel as though he has lost something. 】

★ warnings: angst, post-overblot ★ 🎵 playlist - i handpicked a few songs for you all to listen to while you read ! ★

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“You’re the only one who can do it,” the wind was playing with your hair, obscuring your face from his eyes though he knew that you were smiling at him. You always smiled at him. “I don’t-,” he starts but cuts himself off. His face scrunches up in pain and reluctance, making him look away in fear of seeing you disappointed. He tries again to tell you but every word in his mouth tastes like goodbye. His expression closes and suddenly he realizes he’s shaking.

Gingerly your fingers reach out to him, pausing when they’re merely inches away from his arms as if hesitating; thinking he’d break at their touch, until you’re finally pulling him into your warm embrace and he presses his cheek onto the top of your head. “I know,” you say tenderly. “I know,” Your arms squeeze him, telling him that you did know. The very thought of that makes his breath hitch and soon the tears he’s been trying desperately to hold back run down from his eyes and into your hair.

“I know.”

——————————⋆

Memories came to him in half-formed faded dreams, leaving him bleary eyed and distant in the morning. He tries to keep going; attending his classes, eating lunch with his dorm members, doing and finishing his homework, wandering off into the abandoned parts of the premises; everything he did before, but his eyes muddle the world around him, giving him the impression that he’s not actually there but instead drifting into the undulating waves of a cold endless sea.

How are you?

The only time when he’s feeling alive is when he’s sleeping and dreaming. Most of them were about you or, well, how you were to him when he saw you and talked with you. He realizes now that, despite spending a lot of time with you in school, he didn’t know you as much as he thought he did. He could easily tell anyone what you looked liked if asked and deduced from the way you’d go out of your way just to hang out with him that you thought of him as your friend.

Was he your friend?

The question plagues him for days. Along with it, the subtle pressure to move on. Both are heavy weights on his shoulders and yet, he stubbornly refuses to entertain either, in fear of uncovering some dark twisted truth inside that’ll uncoil and taut the only connection he has of you left in him.

Would you tell him?

——————————⋆

The panic comes to him in slow suffocating chunks, consuming his every breath until it tastes of nothing but ash and brimstone. He bellows as the world splits open, thrusting him into a cold and silent brightness that he can longer fill with the crying of his heart. Frightened by the emptiness and filled with a raging hellfire, he unfurls his shimmering leathery vans and lets the ground from under him crumble with a single beat. Thorns sprout out from the cracks, twisting, turning and slithering its way into the surrounding area, abetting the reverberating voice inside his head that dragooned him into engulfing the world in darkness, flames and thunderstorms.

As chaos ensued, he lets himself look up to the sky as if in search of something, or someone. “If I cannot transcend this emptiness and touch your hand一,” another voice, so broken and soft, whispered to him softly, “-then there is no need for this world to exist.”

——————————⋆

Hyperemotionality was a part of human composition. Nearly all of the fairies, believing themselves to have a higher sense of logicality when compared to their weaker counterparts, viewed this as nothing more than irrational detritus to be disposed of in order to keep the rationality and correctness of the mind but as time went on, converts started emerging from the masses with their strayed beliefs from the old philosophies, declaring that love (the most prominently destructive of all human emotion) was not something to be cast aside in arrogance and fear of the unknown.

He used to scoff at these nonconformists, thinking them foolish for fighting for something that inspired deformation of structure and irregularities— but then, he met you.

You were someone who let his guard down with gentleness and trust and made him experience things he has never experienced before.

He fell in love.

He slams his hand onto the wall, thump! There was no need to think of you now, not with the risk of him unwinding his thorned heart. Wiping out his mind of thoughts of you, he lets himself revert back to the shell of a living being he was left as and continues on with his day.

Can I come see you?

——————————⋆

Gentle hands press against the rough edged surface of his face, reaching out to him in his haze. “Malleus.”

The voice is familiar, though for some reason he wasn’t sure where he’s heard it before. It calls to him again, louder and closer, enveloping him in warmth. He searches for its source frantically, afraid of losing it in the vastness until finally a shape emerges from the darkness. He blinks, his green beady eyes fixed on your relieved face smiling at him with tears running down your cheeks. “Y/N.” Your name comes out of him more like a question than a statement; his voice uncertain. You laugh as you press your forehead against his. “Yes.” you say, bringing his face closer until your noses touch. A moment passes before he exhales, laughing as you do with tears brimming the corner of his eyes.

He falls to his knees before you, shakily taking your hands and holding them to his face. The world blurs and mutes, leaving him with only the sight of you in front of him and the sound of your voice in his ears. He says your name again, this time easing himself into the recognition of the sound of it and knowing that there was nothing in the world beyond you and him in this moment.

——————————⋆

He was grateful for Lilia and the others for always being there to assist him. Their normalcy was an anchor that kept him from straying into the waters of contemplation.

“Urgh, I think I’m coming down with something,” Sebek says from across the lunch table, looking undeniably pale and queasy. Silver flashes him a look of concern while Lilia, who was beside Malleus, perks up at this and smiles at Silver. “Is that so? Well, we can’t have you up and about now can we,” he says, “Why don’t you just call it a day and rest in your room. I’ll make sure to take care of you later and bring you some soup!”

Silver chokes, as if abruptly reminded of something. “You know what,” Sebek smiles nervously, “I was about to do that but now I think I’m starting to feel a little better.”

Sebek’s words, ‘-starting to feel a little better’ ring inside his head. It startles him at first, unsure of what it would do, but soon he lets out a small smile, for once feeling unbothered by the thought of it.

Are you feeling better as well?

——————————⋆

He emerges into a street filled with strange looking multicoloured vehicles in between what seems to be heavily windowed buildings that reflect him in all of his monstrous and scaly glory. He lets himself be awed by the peculiarity of its glaring surface for a moment before looking away and craning his neck around in search of the man you showed him with your memories. People around him point and shriek, some with phone cameras pointed at him, though he pays them no heed. You did warn him that his kind was not something regularly seen prancing about.

When he finally spots him in the crowd, gaping, not at him but at the figure in his hands, Malleus bends down and slowly reverts back in front of him with you sleeping peacefully in his arms. He didn’t know who he was; whether he was a familial relative or a friend or your lover but calmly, he walks up and brings his arms out to him. “They’re tired but okay,” he says, staring at the man before him who was already crying at the sight of you. Without needing to ask, Malleus gently hands you over to him. He thanks Malleus, though it was barely understandable with all the sobbing that he was doing, then brushes the hair out of your face. He watches the two of you for a while, letting the ache and regret sink in before closing his eyes and reluctantly turning away. The portal opens almost immediately, much to his dismay and expectantly swirls in front of him. He wonders, as he steps into it, if it was truly better for him to leave without saying goodbye. There was little chance that he’d see you again but some part of him didn’t want to hear you say it.

Concluding that their was no longer any reason to think about the what-ifs, he grants himself one last time to see you and smiles bitterly. “Take care of them.” he says before the portal shuts.

——————————⋆

Memories were as addictive as emotions. It was hard for him to accept to have loved and missed you, especially when you continued to plague his dreams. Sometimes, he even wished that he could be reborn again and again, just to see you in the days of the past. As time went on, he let the knot in his chest unravel and the weight on his shoulders lighten with the thought of you happy and enjoying life in your own world.

It’ll be okay

He can almost hear you say it.

I wonder, he thought to himself, do you, too, dream of me?

He may never know the answer to that question but, one thing’s for sure, that was going to be alright with him.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #soriwrites #repost #finished crying over it hhh #twst

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