#I know I’ve made a whole other in the tags rant about this before but like it’s never been more applicable again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

e77y · 3 days

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Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

#vent #cw vent #rant #delete later #<- like tomorrow morning I’m shre #usually I delete stuff like this immediately but I’ll try to keep it up #was talking to my mom earlier about OCD and intrusive thoughts and whatnot….#she definitely has it too. like undoubtedly #her intrusive thoughts and compulsions sounded exactly like mine #which sucks for me bc my dad ALSO definitely has OCD (in a more outwardly recognizable way) so! wahoo! double whammy #just feeling kinda defeated about mental health stuff #I feel like it’s never gonna get better #I need to go to therapy or a psychiatrist or SOMETHING #it’s been like 4 years now since I was originally supposed to go lol #and I keep putting it off out of fear (I think)#my friends (irls) have all been getting diagnoses and prescriptions lately #which is exciting for them but :( idk. I feel like there’s no way to medicate whatever I’ve got going on except SSRIs????#and I don’t really want that #mostly though I’m just scared of going back to therapy or to a psychiatrist bc I think they’ll think I’m lying or crazy or whatever #which sounds stupid when I write it out but idk #I should probably keep a journal but when I’m only writing for my own eyes I just kinda wallow in it and write concerning poetry lol #I like journaling in a way other people can see (even if y’all DON’T like seeing it lmaoooo) bc it makes it feel more real?#and out of my head.. concrete etc.#wackyposting #<- seriously need to change that tag still lol

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lilyswh0re · 2 years

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matilda - terence higgs

date: august 5, 2022

summary: a love letter to his friends

notes: not romantic

warnings: child abuse

a/n: i’m gonna rant rq but i’ve been feeling horrible recently bc i found out the only cousin i’ve trusted told her mom when i came out as bi (effectively taking away the opportunity for me to come out to my mom on my own), my mom found out thro them that i was suicidal (again before i could reach out for help on my own terms). and they said how much they pity me and feel bad for me. i can’t help but feel betrayed and ridiculed and i’m just frustrated bc i’ve never felt supported by my mom’s side of the family or my dad’s

tags: @limerenze @loverssfevers @ghostofscarley @dayangestre

i didn’t know love until i arrived at hogwarts. i didn’t know care until a group of ruined kids, some more than others, most less than me, took me in. i didn’t know what it felt like to melt into another people.

adrian had a healthy home life. he had the family i always wanted. his parents showed each other affection; his mother had her hands hooked in the crook of her husband’s elbow and her head leaned into his shoulder. his sisters always giggling alongside him. at first it made me sick with jealousy because he had cousins to keep his secrets, to keep him, and i didn’t. at least i didn’t until i met him. i didn’t have someone to keep my heart and my soul warm while i slept and shivered. i didn’t have someone to bandage me when i pretended there was something in my eye but really i was wiping away tears.

marcus didn’t think he deserved the praise we gave him. we argued a lot, him and me. i refused to let him believe everything his old man would tell him. i didn’t realize until one fight we had in front of the whole team and he called me out, marcus was me and i was him. i diminished everything that happened to me, the good and the bad. marcus did what he had to do and he thought that he didn’t deserve anything to compensate for any trouble he might have come across.

miles showed me i can express myself any way i please. he never had an issue with self expression. i learned i don’t have to be mean to get what i wanted. (and i never did get what i wanted, i always felt empty.) miles rearranged me on his bedside table like a supermarket bouquet of flowers. he filled my empty space with baby breath, making the rose thorns in my ribs disappear. my finger nails are no longer jagged and hair doesn’t cover my face. i like my smile (with teeth). i finally like my smile.

derrick didn’t have a voice. he spoke and replied but they were never substantive words. he spoke slowly, in pauses. i later found out if he didn’t think about what he was going to say, his entire day could be ruined. he cried to me once that his mother always apologized for what she did and not what she said. he couldn’t care less than she yelled at him, but he couldn’t stop pressing the wound of being called useless when all he’s ever done is try to stay afloat for her and his siblings. his dad wasn’t not in the picture but he wasn’t fully out of it. “‘i’m sorry for yelling at you, baby,’ that’s what she told me,” he cried into his pillow after coming home from winter break, “i never accepted that apology but she went on the rest of the day acting like i forgave her.” he speaks faster now, more animated. i don’t know he helped me or i helped him. i don’t spit insults like i spit out my gum though.

lucian was a pretty boy. i was actively jealous of him. not because he had anyone he wanted falling to his feet. but because whenever he had a shit night, his shoulders pushed back and his chin stayed high. his afro stayed perfectly around in the off season, his braids were almost neat during the season. he helped miles build me up. i didn’t know it then but he felt the same pressure derrick felt. he had a deadly fear of failing. i didn’t think it was possible for him though.

warrington and montague were brutes, i think that’s why they liked each other more than the rest of us. they get it from their fathers. “i got this from a game of qudditch this summer.” warrington told us. it was a new bruise on the side of his ribs. montague didn’t come back with new bruises or scars, at least not ones we could see. summer before sixth year, his dad kicked him out. both of them got help. they’re doing better now. it took me a while to follow their lead. i know they changed me but while they don’t feel as though they are dragging through the mud, i did. they were able to get to a safer place, both physically and mentally. but i’m only a few meters away from where i started.

i never knew the loves of my life would be a group of nasty teenage boys. but after seven years, my knuckles have been bandaged after fights and my knees have been smoothed over, my heart and soul have been tucked into bed with a bedtime story, and the supermarket flowers were replaced with flowers from my garden.

#adrian pucey #terence higgs #slytherin quidditch team #marcus flint #miles bletchley #peregrine derrick #lucian bole #cassius warrington #graham montague

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swervestrickland · 2 years

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re: your tags, yeah!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA!! and like, punk is NOT being smooth about all this either. he had to escalate things SO far to push hangman to the point of snapping (being condescending wasn't enough, his handshake intimidation thing wasn't enough, the one handed shove wasn't enough, he had to two hand hard shove hangman before he got punched back!).

i wrote that whole thing in a vacuum just cuz i was excited about my interpretation of the situation being validated but then later saw randos online being genuinely confused at why hangman was so angry with punk right off the bat as if punk hasn't been needling him for weeks, as if last week we didnt see punk specifically pointing out to hangman that the crowd is cheering "cm punk" louder than page's name with the commentators even going so far as to say "golly is punk getting under page's skin or what", as if the week before that he didn't use hangman's finisher on silver and was literally saying "u mad?" about it like what! what the!! are these people watching the same show as i am?? can any of this even be considered subtext at this point, i feel like its so overt its pretty much just Text. sorry for ranting LOL

*babbles excitedly* YSHSJSKFHS YEAH LISTEN

at the beginning, when hangman told punk he was gonna destroy while punk was off fuckin around on a tv/movie set idk, I was confused. VERY confused. because it seemed like, ok this is coming out of nowhere. at that point, I would’ve said, “holy shit? Hangman’s turning heel.”

But THEN—a week later, Punk uses the same language as Triple H used against him way back when in 2011, ELEVEN YEARS AGO. Granted, in the parallel, Trips is saying Punk MADE it personal, that it’s NO LONGER just “business”, but the fact remains that Hunter at first had believed it was business as well, and Punk prodding and poking and all around running his fucking mouth (for good reason at the time) made it personal because he was going after Hunter specifically. So, in my opinion, that’s a heel fuckin move. Why are you as a man using the same language as the language of the man you considered the villain in YOUR story?

Next, Punk uses Hangman’s finisher. WHY??? If this is just BUSINESS, then WHY???? Why are you pushing at another man’s buttons???? If not to FLIRT, then WHAT are you DOING? That’s not flattery, motherfucker, that’s offensive and you know it!!! You’ve watched wrestling as long as I have and MORE, you ass!!!! You know that isn’t flattery!!!! That’s a fucking insult!!!! (Especially when you don’t even connect with Silver’s head it was such a bad buckshot lariat I’m so upset about it 😭😭😭)

I won’t even talk about the week after because I’m just gonna go insane. Hangman made me lose my mind. I love him.

(Right at this point, I had written three paragraphs worth of brainrot and when I saved it to post, my fuckin app glitched out and didn’t save so I’m gonna try to type it all out again at my lunchtime but just know that I’m in a rage)

Okay yes I WILL talk about the Takeshita match because. Fuckign philip. Throwin shade like literally throwing shade and JR just. Edging him along like.??? Okay?!?! And nobody calling this out at all on commentary like what the fuck. And!! The whole “I’m in his head!I’ve got him right where I want him!” like ok motherfucker manipulative much????? If you planned on doing this the business way AND the babyface way then WHY are you using heel kevin owens tactics?

There was this ask that I got, where I rambled about how, Hangman is the only man past/present so far in the company (at least on PPV) that hasn’t kissed the ground that punk walks on. That he doesn’t care for him at all, in any way, just does not give a fuck about this dude. And that, in some way, that’s hangman getting in punk’s head because every other guy he’s fought at a ppv made the mistake of telling punk that they idolized him, at one point or another. And that became their downfall. Meanwhile, with hangman, punk doesn’t have anything on him except to push and prod at hangman’s hothead fuckin personality. But it takes more to work on him, because he doesn’t have hangman’s number. The men that have hangman’s number, hangman’s gods, are dead and buried, as I said in another post sjskfjdj.

And I just!!!!! Hangman is something else man. He catches onto snakes bc he’s lived with them so long. He knows what he’s done, he knows what his friends have done to get to the top, and he knows punk is snake in the grass brat 3000, original model. The only thing that fucks punk up is a man that doesn’t kiss his feet. Hangman IS in punk’s head, which is why punk had to shove him multiple times to get a rise out of him. That’s also why hangman didn’t do the pipebomb, why he thought better of it because he knows that plays into punk’s ego and a puffed up punk can do anything. Like you said, that’s why punk points at the crowd chanting cm punk, that’s why he throws it in hangman’s face bc punk is all about the ego.

Anyway I have lots of fuckin thoughts about this shit but I’m glad we here on tumblr dot hellsite know what the fuck is going on

#emi replies #wrestlezon

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bitey-baby-shark · 1 year

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30 Days of Agere: Day Nineteen

19.) What’s your opinion on the agere community?

Hoo boy. Okay at risk of getting completely cancelled, I’m gonna be honest. A lot of ranting about the community under the read more.

I hate the agere community as it is now. If you’ve seen some of my personal posts before that can be picked up on very easily. It’s wayyy too eager to witch-hunt people simply for using the “wrong” tags or expressing the “wrong” opinion. Not to mention, it feels so... instagram-ified. Like everything I see is pink or pastel or rainbow and it feels like it was meant to be more aesthetic than practical and it feels like all I see are picture perfect young 18 or something year old girls being all soft and delicate and it infuriates me because that’s NOT what age regression is about. Age regression is about giving yourself space to explore your childhood again, and sometimes the trauma and baggage that comes with it. It should be loud and messy and not “picture perfect” because that’s not what kids are. It’s especially infuriating as someone who is traditionally masculine in all other aspects of my life, including my regression and everytime I go on the agere tag being flooded with super soft pink imagery. It’s the reason I changed the agere image I’m using for this to be blue. Like I hate to admit it but seeing the community as it is makes me dysphoric. It’s okay to like what you like and do regression how you want to do it but like??? It can infuriate me to no end sometimes.

Like you can be a dude and still like everything I’ve listed above, you can like pink and dolls and tea parties and being soft and gentle, but what about those of us who aren’t that. That’s the main reason I made this blog, is to have a space to express my little self the way I want it to be expressed. I’ve been planning to make more regressor content as it relates to me being a traditionally masculine trans dude, but I’m so worried about the masses converging on me to accuse me of being a misogynist or some other crap because I just want a space for more masculine regressors to exist.

The other big thing that kind of made me unreasonably mad at the community and write it off as a whole is the use of “pure” and “impure” regression. I once saw a post that said “impure regression is when you regress due to trauma” with not a single ounce of self awareness. This community decided as a whole (and I do acknowledge there’s been some push back but it feels too little too late) that those of us who regress due to trauma and express big emotions in our little space makes our regression “impure”. Do you understand how unbelievably scummy that is? To take a group of people who are traumatized and label and other their regression into something impure???? I am still unreasonably angry about it. Every time I see someone use the term impure completely uncritically it makes me want to throw my laptop out the window. You wanna know synonyms for impure? Like straight up pulled off the thesaurus website synonyms? Gross. Corrupt. Dirty. Tainted. Everytime you categorize vent regression as “impure” you are telling a trauma survivor they’re all those words for using regression as it’s supposed to be used. Clinical age regression is most commonly found in Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, and DID, and while I’m not saying you need to have that to age regress, a lot of people who are going to be drawn to this community have trauma. And the community, as a whole, decided that made them “impure”.

Lastly, this instilled belief this community holds that you can be “too old” for regression. It’s like every blog I see says “DNI if older than 25″ or sometimes even younger and when I was looking for an agere discord to join I was worried I’d be “too old” for a lot of them AND I’M 22 FREAKING YEARS OLD. Not to mention that older, more masculine age regressors are more likely to be witch hunted because they’re not the stereotypical regressor. It paints a bigger target on their back from outsiders. Honestly, in all the tiktok compilations I’ve seen of age regressors I have not ONCE seen someone who looks traditionally masculine and not ONCE seen someone who looks older than 25. This community actively outcasts them. Like??? Does everyone assume this is a coping mechanism you age out of and that older regressors don’t deserve a community??? Or that people who like traditionally masculine things just don’t age regress???? Because that’s not how that works!!

So yeah, I kinda hate the community as it is, and that’s why I made this blog. To try and be someone that’s a source of good and makes the content I want to see in the world. I’ve been kinda slacking on that side of things, but I do plan to make more content individualized to what I wish I had been told when I first joined this community. I hope I manage to achieve that one day.

#baby shark bites!#very nervous posting this one hoo boy #sfw age regression #sfw regression #sfw agere #sfw age regressor #sfw petre #sfw pet regression #sfw pet regressor #Age Regression #Agere #age regressor #petre #pet regression #pet regressor #shark regression #shark agere #shark regressor

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klainelynch · 2 years

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I’ve recorded a lot of podfics since I first started in early 2021, and most of them are Fullmetal Alchemist or Avatar: the Last Airbender. I read/listen to more fandoms than just those two, but since they’re the ones I’m most familiar with, I wanted to recommend a few of my favorite podfics from each! Authors and podficcers are tagged when I could do so.

Fullmetal Alchemist:

Cause for Concern: written by metisket and read by Hananobira .

- Length: 16:55 - My summary: Jean Havoc’s first encounter with the little Elrics. - The author’s banter was top notch, but this reading really took it to the next level, and had me literally laughing out loud! Jean’s rant about grapes is especially *chef’s kiss*

What Binds Us: written by @cinead and read by blackestglass .

- Length: 4:15 - My summary: During Riza’s last night before she returns to the army, she reflects on her relationship with Roy, and what their future might hold. - This podfic perfectly captures Riza’s voice as she moves through her history with Roy to what she wants and what she knows she can’t have. The bittersweetness of Royai is so good here!!

Duration 00:01:52: written by @kuchee & read by @godoflaundrybaskets .

- Length: 22:06 - My summary: Roy Mustang running for office, and realizing that he needs something—or someone—else to succeed. - The soundscaping of this podfic just blows me away—everything has such a specific purpose and keeps me in the story as if I was really there. This podfic is such an inspiration to me in both the editing and voice acting!

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Hunting Party: written by @sholiofic and read by reena_jenkins.

- Length: 9:39 - My summary: Sokka and Zuko go on a Manly Adventure. - If this wasn’t the first podfic that I listened to, then it was certainly the first one that made me want to search out more (and got me thinking about possibly doing this myself). This story is so funny, and the reader perfectly contrasts Sokka’s enthusiastic optimism with Zuko’s deadpanned pessimism.

Call “Uncle”: written by JaggedCliffs and read by commonlyquixotic.

- Length: 4:35 - Author’s summary: Zuko and most of the Gaang are oblivious, Toph is having a blast, and Iroh is just enjoying the whole situation. Or, how the Fire Nation officials gave up on calling Iroh anything other than "Uncle". - The face journey that this podfic sends me on would certainly get me banned from that library in the meme, but like, it’s a comedy about my favorite character and the reader absolutely nails the exasperation of everyone who is trying to call Iroh by his proper title, so what choice do I have BUT to stan this podfic with my entire heart??

something about titles: written by @quillium and read by sisi_rambles.

- Length: 6:26 - Author’s summary: "Would you prefer it," Zuko asks Iroh, "If I called you, father?" Zuko thinks about the difference between father and uncle. - The face journey that this podfic sends me on is the exact opposite of the previous one, but that’s what I love about Iroh & Zuko’s relationship, and this podfic captures all of the love that these two share for each other, despite all of the heartache they’ve struggled through together.

#podfics #FMAB #Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood #ATLA #Avatar: the Last Airbender #Avatar verse #my things

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someoneimsure · 1 year

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Hello.. I dunno where to start with this but I need some advice if you’re willing to give it. When I just joined the site around a year ago, I had nooo clue about internet safety or warning signs or even what an anti or a pro shipper was. I barely knew how tumblr worked basically. I had always identified as asexual after hearing its definition from a friend a few years ago, so I didn’t know that would be a problem on the internet, either (spoiler alert: it was) basically when I was very new to both tumblr and the whole fandom experience I kind of accidentally fell into a really, reallyyyy bad, toxic subsection of fans because those were the blogs recommended to me by tumblr 😭 none of them identified them as antis (didn’t know what that was) but said if you were proship not to follow them, which I also didn’t know what that was, so I just followed them anyway. When I had like ~35 followers some biggish account follows me back and starts acting veryyyy buddy-buddy. Sliding into messages, trying to pressure me for personal information like my name, age, and selfie. I said a fake name and my real age but refused a selfie because of internet safety and made me feel guilty for it.. they also reblogged a bunch of reblog bait CONSTANTLY like ‘what color are your eyes?’ ‘What hair texture are you?’ ‘What’s your skin color?’ And tagged me in it. I was dumb and participated in it but now I feel sick that they were manipulatively trying to figure out what I looked like. They also tagged me in several little ask games where you also tag your other mutuals at the end of it, that will be important later. Basically, they literally OUT OF THE BLUE went on several long, longggg, vitriolic rants about how much they absolutely despised asexual people, how we are single handedly oppressing gay people and trying to ban gay sex, how we want to be oppressed so badly, how straight we ‘basically’ are, how much asexual headcanons annoyed and disgusted them in fandom, etc. mind you, I had my sexuality in my bio at the time. I was very meek and naive (this was only a year ago lmao how times change) and decided to respond to the rants in the morning about how they made me feel. Went to bed, woke up, found out I had been softblocked on the false assumption that I was a dirty hidden proshipper because I had reblogged from someone with a username like antis solve nothing or something idk, again didn’t know what that was but actually was following them for their niche fandom meta, I learned later what the whole fandom shipping stuff was and don’t feel one way or another about it but am starting to think it was just an excuse to softblock me since she knew I was asexual lmao. Also how do I know she softblocked me for this? She made a post about it and called me a cockroach which… wow, where have I heard that one before… (I’m Jewish btw so if I’ve become accustomed to being compared to a bug) But this is all just backdrop. I blocked them and moved on with my life because tbh I don’t really give a fuck one way or another, but I started to receive death threats periodically from makeshift side blogs, occasionally from anonymous as well. They always say the same thing and I only get them once in a great while, so just going off that, there’s no way I’d be able to find out who actually sent them… except that the death threats also targeted my mutuals. Specifically, the mutuals who I tagged in the little ask games I was asked to participate in by the toxic mutual. So that’s why I think it’s them, and it’s honestly scary how far they’ve gone to circumvent my various blocks (I must’ve blocked them like 11 different times now) and ig. I dunno what to do. Or even if it is actually them. But I have a strong suspicion it is. What do you think?

I am so sorry you experienced that anon! I agree with your suspicion. This is very typical anti behavior. You’ve accidentally become their hyperfixation, and now they are stalking you.

There are ways to solve this problem without deleting your blog, but your friends might have to change their urls so they are no long being linked back to the ask game. (I assume the stalker in this scenario has reblogged the ask game already. Unfortunately, your solution is going to be complicated because changing your url will not prevent them from finding you.)

For all of your friends, I recommend blocking the stalker, changing your urls, and then all of you doing this:

Turn off anon. You can do this from the app and from the web browser. In the latter, it’s located under Edit Appearance.

Turn on invisibility. This is located in the web browser version under Edit Appearance at the way bottom.

Wait a month before switching back.

This is the bare minimum measure to prevent and avoid being harassed on tumblr. It is not foolproof, but it will force the cowards to think twice before harassing you. If they continue to harass you, they won’t be on anon when they do it and it will give you more credibility when you report them to tumblr for spam and harassment. (Though I don't believe I have ever seen the staff do anything about it... hellsite <3.)

There is a more complicated way to solve this problem, but it’s a headache. It involves deleting your blog.

If the above doesn't stop them from harassing you, or worse they come back to harassing you after a month, you may have to delete your blog. I would need to do a little more research before I can say how to do so without losing your url. Some sources say you can't use your url after 24 hours of changing or deleting a blog, but that has not been my experience with switching accounts. As far as I know, you will have to be very vigilant and fast to grab your url again. I am hoping to find some way to avoid that though.

Fortunately, tumblr has an export/import ability on the web browser so at least your posts can be saved and recovered. The same cannot be said for followers, following, and liked posts, so if you must take this option you will need to at least save the names of all your mutuals so you can follow them when your blog is up again.

#asks #anon #i am avoiding certain tags because i know the kind of people who lurk in them #i will also be disabling reblogs for this post for the same reason #if you need this information in the future please save a link or take a screenshot #thank you for the ask! and stay safe!

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facelesswrittes · 2 years

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I’d like to ask for an Stranger things😋😋 ship

Im a average height female with brown hair and brown eyes. I’m introvert but when I’m comfortable I’m extrovert . I like cheer, baking and skating. My love language is gift giving and physical touch and I like to go out on dates like going out in a walk or to the movies and have picnics in parks/nature, drive thru movie dates.

My type is: funny, tall guys. As well funny/dorky, sorta clingy and ofc a good personality. And good style 💞

Hey!

So this one was a little harder, but after some thinking I’ve come to the decision of shipping you with Lucas Sinclair.

Spoilers ahead!!

Ever since joining high school, Lucas has made it his goal to finally depart from the ‘nerds’ and start a new chapter in his life. Joining the basketball team was his golden ticket for success, But he could never have imagined that he would meet no other then you. A second year cheerleader.

Before your proper introduction. Lucas would spot you on the sides of the court along with the rest of the cheerleaders. Seeing you support the team while doing your little dancing somehow send butterflies through his stomach.

You, not much different from him, often found sight of him on the bench. While his teammates did all the work. You share a few classes with him, so you’re fairly familiar with who he is. And must I say, it infuriate you to see him Excitedly and Attentively watching the game waiting to be called out to play only for disappointment to come much like the game before that and the game before that one.

you can perfectly see how excluded the poor boy is and maybe that’s what push you to befriend him.

Much like any other teen romance it all started with you hanging out here and there. Sharing brief conversations at his games and sitting together at lunch.

Befriending the guy was probably one of the best decisions you have ever taken. Lucas, is most definitely always fooling around. Cracking up some jokes on the most random times which definitely has You cackling up in your seat.

Apparently his crush on you became obvious to everyone except you. Even his team members point it out and even encourage him to ask you out. Which he nervously declined.

However after sometime curiosity consumes him to the brim and he takes the risk of asking you out. It wasn’t anything big, in fact it was in the most unexpected moment. At one of his games he just casually lets it out much too your surprise. He puts on a cool act, shoving his hands on his shorts while putting on a serious expression. (He practice his lines in the mirror all morning until his little sister barge in and told him to shut up ).

Now that you where dating Lucas had no problem with showing his affection towards you. Kisses? Any day. Hugs? Almost all the time. Hand holding? Never miss a chance.

He’ll definitely miss his after school practices just to take you out on a picnic date. Of course, like always your in charge of bringing the snacks. Just because he knows you always bring your home made goodies that he loves (but won’t admit).

Through the whole date you guys would just sit down eating while he rented about how he was trying really hard to get out the bench only to fail. You nodded while looking down at him, head lay down on your comfortable lap. After a while of his ranting he’d get bored and decided to do something fun with you, something like running around playing tag in the park like you where little kids. (He still has that inner kid inside him waiting to be set free).

#stranger things #lucas sinclair #match ups #netflix

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mike-el · 2 years

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hi! this is out of my comfort zone really by doing this, but i needed to say something and you’re the first account i thought couple help! but i’ve been a very forward and strong mileven shipper for years now. i’ve been able to handle backlash through reason, i’ve never worried about b*lers, let alone paid them much attention. but after volume two, everything shifted. between the hate mike got at the start for merely voicing the love he’s had for the girl he’s always loved, to the complete 180 shift of people strongly believing he’s gay for Will again, it’s just incredible. it’s inescapable. im mostly on twitter, which i’d say was a reasonably good place for milevens. it’s now turned into a whole other world. mostly infiltrated by kids who claim to want rep, which i fully support and understand as a queer person myself, but who do it in exchange for misogyny and ableism. people who claim to love el yet want her heartbroken. and while this post is a rant, it’s also one of concern, and i’d love to hear from someone as reasonable as you. im firm in my beliefs and my love for mileven, but the duffers have always loved their fan service, and this is unlike anything i’ve seen since fandoms like Sherlock or Supernatural. Essentially, my question is, do you think the duffers will give into this fan service? clearly the reasonable answer would be no, you don’t ruin a 4 season build up like mileven for the sake of fan service. But i’d be lying if I said the sudden influx of B*ler shippers and the likes they’ve been getting isn’t shocking. So what I’m trying to say is, as Mileven shippers, do you think we need to be worried for season 5? I can’t believe im even saying this; i wouldn’t have thought it feasible even a year ago, but the public response is almost intimidating. All the best, and sorry for this dump!

Hi friend! Welcome! First, I want to say thank you for censoring b*ler, because it allows me to answer your ask! There have been asks I have received before that I couldn't answer, though I wanted to, because I didn't want the ask to go into the b**ler tag and intrude on others' space.

Secondly, the short answer to your question is no. Mike's monologue pretty much cemented mileven's relationship. It made soulmatism canon. I say this all the time, but that relationship has been written in stone from the first episode. Thunder boomed at their first meeting. They stared into each other eyes. And Mike said, out loud, in the finale of season 4, that his life began on the day he met el. Logically, are the Duffers really, in the last season, going to turn back on all of that, on four seasons of development, and say "jk he loves Will now"? No, that would be terrible storytelling lol. Especially when there has been ZERO indication that Mike has had any feelings for Will at all in any of the past four seasons. Also, what precedent would that set moving forward? That artists and creators are not in control of their own narratives? Yuck, no thanks.

If the Duffers respond to the backlash at all, it will probably be to make sure that Will gets a really strong storyline next season, that his coming out moment is delivered with integrity, and that he ends the season happy and maybe even in a secure relationship. I think a lot of the backlash is just wanting to see Will happy. We might also just see less mike/mileven on screen, which is a huge shame, but we already started to see that in season 4.

I completely understand this is a really emotional time for everyone right now. I think a lot of the debate/discussion around this season is completely valid, and a lot of it is not. That's to be expected with a show as popular as stranger things. Just remember that twitter/tumblr/tiktok represents one section of fans. There is a HUGE general audience. My boss watches this show, my coworkers watch this show, my irl friends watch this show. None of these people know what a b*ler is.

The season just came out, the emotions are still fresh, but we have a loooong hiatus ahead of us. This too shall pass. Hang in there and allow yourself to enjoy the amazing moments we got this season because, despite the backlash, the mike & el scenes in 4x08 and 4x09 were truly phenomenal. <3

#asks #long post

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screamfome · 1 month

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Tabi mod.

ALSO! FRIENDLY REMINDER:Do your daily taps on Arab.org AND donate as much as you can! This way,we can have a free Palestine!

ALSO! FRIENDLY REMINDER:Do your daily taps on Arab.org and like it said,donate as much as you can!

Spoilers for the (most likely cancelled) Tabi mod!!! PLEASE LOOK AT THE TAGS BEFORE YOU VIEW THE TABI MOD.

…

(Alr here it is)

just saw the most likely cancelled(I say most likely because of a Reddit post saying that it’s not cancelled?)tabi update. My expectations? I like it however,I’m going to be fr tabi looks like an anime protagonist. I also did not imagine him to be buff(I thought he was skinny- but then again I don’t know since his body is INVISIBLE). Although I do like the potential dialogue we got between MM,DD and Gf. Also for the original FNF,WE ARE SO BACK!!!

also I have some old versions for how I imagined tabi looking like.

Probably the slightly closest to canon one in the trailer

(With stubble)

(Without stubble)

I’ve also made these drawings 2 YEARS AGO. And the last two are just sketches so as you can see in this art Tabi has longer hair and may or may not have stubble but that depends on the version of your choosing. In the first piece,I gave him yellow eyes. Either he has black or blue in the update?

overall,I do not hate the update,I’m just very shocked by how he looks but then again,Tabi belongs to (someone) and not me. These past three arts were just how I imagined him and I was surprised by the outcome. It’s cool tho lol!

also I didn’t imagine for tabi’s human voice to be the way that it was but I do like it since it’s changed and it doesn’t show that he wasn’t always cursed like that or sounded like that. I think the reason why his voice is the way it is now is because(in my opinion) of the curse. To make him sound more monstrous and unrecognizable but who wouldn’t recognize Tabi?(gaster blaster looking-)

Another thing is,I do like the whole nightmares thing where gf and dad looked more monstrous(now to add it to my hcs of the dearest family’s demon form is their default forms and they have scarier forms than that.) because I believe it’s titled nightmares(or hallucinations?) for a reason. Overcome by the fear and betrayal that GF(mainly did since she was roped into this) he began to hallucinate his ex and her father as monsters most likely trying to tell him to “get out” while this man has the door locked,sweating,breathing heavily,most likely singing to them to “LEAVE HIM ALONE AND STAY AWAY FROM HIM.” Imagine that the day after when he calms down(not really just a tad bit) THEN DD’s plan works out.(I won’t describe what happened,you will have to watch any videos on the tabi mod itself or look at the wiki BUT BE WARNED. For it is VERY descriptive. It is mentioned in the tags.)

Also I don’t think MM and DD are as loving in this mod? And are more focused about fame and money and status rather than THEIR OWN CHILD?! Don’t get me wrong,they most likely do love each other!(Although this does flesh out the MANY things they could do to you if they don’t like you and I like that.) when GF asked if they loved each other they literally looked to them and then back to her and said “I like money” and “I like money as well” BRO-

Anyway,although I am slightly shocked and like what on earth about Tabi’s human design. I do like the depth they were going to give for the mod. Tabi’s been one of my favorite characters in Friday night funkin(besides agoti) and MAN THIS WOULD’VE BEEN GOOD. I never thought I’d rant like this but hey,as I mentioned before,Tabi was a favorite character of mine and I do hope this mod get continued but even if not,I can still enjoy what we could’ve had and what we still do have! Good bye everyone!

-Billy out

(P.S. my old art looks HORRIBLE I did this man dirty.)

#fnf #friday night funkin #fnf tabi #vs ex booyfriend #Vs tabi #Tw for k!dn@pp!ng #Tw for violence #Tw for the word in the 3rd song #Tw for murder #And one for expl0s!0ns as well #Also there will be flash

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thecr00kedmuse · 2 months

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Garden of the Broken

Lost? Confused? Read Me.

If you’re reading this, I’m betting you have no idea where you are, where you were, or how you got here. And if you take a minute to think about it, you probably don’t know who you are, either. Try it. What are the names of your parents? Do you have any siblings? Where do you live? And most importantly: What’s your name? When were you born? Without looking in a mirror, what colour are your eyes?

Don’t know? That’s okay. Don’t panic. That’s why I’m here. I… am you. Well, I was you, before you forgot. Don’t believe me? You’re (probably) wearing a set of dog tags. Go ahead and check. All of that information? Yeah, that’s us. At least, that’s what’s known about us. That’s what we’ve made of us. Still don’t get it? I don’t blame you, so let me try to explain.

Let’s see. How should I put this…?

“Normal”. It’s never really come up as one of the many colorful adjectives to describe my day-to-day existence. Then again, even if my life ever has been normal, I – and by extension, you, being me – wouldn’t remember it, and that is just one of the various reasons as to why I’m going on this rant in the first place.

The long and short of it is this: I can’t remember anything that happened before I was sixteen years old. I can’t remember anything before the day I woke up in a hospital I didn’t recognize with bandages on my wrists, and a complete stranger sprawled out and dozing in the chair next to my bed.

Everything since then, though – everything that’s happened in the last two years – oh yeah, I remember that. I remember that with such frightening clarity that I wish I didn’t, sometimes. The last two years are all I have to really know who I am. Everything before that morning in the hospital… It’s a secret that’s been locked away from me, possibly forever, and although sometimes I catch myself yearning to know what my life was like before the day I woke up, I have to admit that I’m afraid of the answers I might find. The scars on my wrists are the very epitome of that apprehension, and – if you’ll pardon my waxing poetic about it – it constantly boils beneath the smooth tissue like a festering virus that will, for all I know, eventually consume me.

Cheerful way to start this, isn’t it? Well, you have my most sincere apologies, but there’s not really a whole hell of a lot I can do about that. It’s just the way things are. There’s a whole other world lingering just beyond my grasp, and it’s an intimate, conflicting obsession of mine that always seems to lurk on the furthest, darkest outskirts of my mind.

If there’s one thing I know about us with any amount of certainty, it’s the fact that I am – and we are – a muse. Hell, even then, the only reason I know this is because of my current master. It’s not like she found a card on me when she found me equally by some freakish coincidence in the dumpster; the only ID I’d had on me at the time was a suspended driver’s license. It’s still a mystery to me to this day how she of all people knew – and as far as I’ve been able to figure, she’s no closer to an answer than I am – but… Well, that’s what I am. A muse.

I hope to god you still know what a muse is, because if not… Look, it’s called dictionary dot com, alright? Find the nearest smartphone or unlocked computer or whatever – anything with Wi-Fi will do – and look it up there. However, no, I am not some descendant of Zeus or any of his kids or wherever the original nine muses came from. At least, I’m pretty sure I’m not. All I know is that I’m a muse, savvy? If anything, if I had to pick anything to do with Greek mythology to help you understand better, the only way I can think of describing… me, really, is by telling you that I’d be most closely related to Euterpe, the muse of music. At least, I am in this life. I wouldn’t know what I was before this, but either way… Music. That’s what I do.

Only, unlike Euterpe, I’m a guy – and quite proud to be one. (Yeah… PMS, menopause, periods, pregnancy, blah blah blah – I get enough lip from my master on how good we men have it. My only comment is that women, the lucky twats, get multiple orgasms. We men have to work at that! Ahem. Rant. Sorry, anyways…)

And yes, I actually do do my homework occasionally, thank you very freaking much.

In short, I inspire my master predominantly through the means of music; however, I have managed to pluck an idea or two from things like socks and dreams about Walmart over the years, as well.

Yeah, creative little bugger, aren’t I? If only she could appreciate that the same way others do.

My job sucks, I’m not going to lie. I wouldn’t even wish it upon my prickly housemate’s spasmodic and alarmingly spiteful cat. But there’s not really a whole lot I can do about that, either, because my job pretty much encompasses my entire life. There’s no escaping it. I work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week for all three-hundred and sixty-five days in a goddamn year. Imagine that for a minute, would you, and then come back to me complaining about how much your desk job sucks and the pay blows and you work so much overtime for nothing.

Boo-freaking-hoo. I don’t get paid squat. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nada. Nil. Nothing. Oh yeah, you have it so bad, uh-huh.

Well suck it up, buttercup, ‘cause I have to kiss ass for free.

Anyways… My master figures that we muses are like computers. Each of our “users” – and I just stick with the term “master” because I feel more like a slave than anything else – formats us for their needs when we meet them… Somehow. Y’know, personality, the way we inspire them, so on and so forth… The whole nine yards. We essentially become the ideal muse suited to their personal requirements. Then when they’re finished with us or happen to meet with an unfortunate accident that ends their life, our “hard drives” are completely wiped, and we’re left with blank slates until the next “user” comes along and re-formats us upon introduction. Not consciously or anything – it just… happens.

I think.

Imagine that for a second, would ya? A human being with no personality, no thoughts to call their own really, wandering the streets without a single friggin’ clue as to who they are, driven by nothing but the inherent urge to find someone else to own them. I don’t know if I had a chance to undergo that particular experience, the whole wandering thing – all I know is that my current master said she found me in a dumpster, beat up with my wrists slit.

I know. Ain’t that great?

She’s been reminding me ever since how lucky I was that she happened to wander by when she did, because if it weren’t for her, then I’d “most likely be of no more use than fertilizer in a nameless grave” – which she tells me is close enough to the truth as things are.

In any case, I lived with her and her family for a time mostly because I had no other choice, and hell, let’s face it, where would I go? I had no money; I only knew my name and age because of the badly stained driver’s license I had on me at the time, and for all I knew that could have been a fake. There were no records of my existence in the government database, either, which basically guarantees that my license was a forgery. What else could I do? A whole lot of nothing, that’s what – and living on the street after having to deal with the lingering smell of dumpster just really wasn’t all that appealing.

As things were, I was being subjected to a battery of tests – blood tests, CT scans, MRIs, EEGs… The doctor supervising my case did several physical exams to check my reflexes, sensory functions, balance, and various other aspects of my brain and nervous system to rule out further injury or illness. But everything came back either clean or inconclusive. In the end, after deferring to the expertise of the local shrink, they told me it was called “dissociative fugue,” and that it was temporary. It could last anywhere from a couple of days, to several months – but sooner or later, it would pass. I would, they said, eventually recover.

Two years on, and I’m still as clueless as the day I was “born”.

I don’t think my master’s parents really loved the idea, having a complete stranger in the house, but they agreed to act as a host family for a while, until I got back on my feet. Helped me register at the local Catholic high school – which my master, ironically enough knowing her take on the whole “religion” thing, attended as well – and for the next while, my life became somewhat conventionally… typical, shall we say. I made friends, got my shit back together, and bickered with my master like an old married couple, so says one of her comrades... In general, life was good.

Sure, the work she dumped on my shoulders was ill-appreciated, and more often than not I tended to reply to her demanding questions with a simple, rather sarcastic retort, but it was all good. (And besides, let’s face it, if she really wanted and needed a workaholic for a muse, she would’ve gotten one.)

I had a place to live, at least one friend that helped me ignore the constant thought of the healing wounds on my wrists, but more importantly, I was beginning to make a life for myself again. I was building up on the blank foundation that my previous master had abandoned me with.

It didn’t last, though. I’ve learned since then that nothing good in this world lasts.

I had to leave. Morgan, my often peevish and spiteful master, argued most admirably in my defense with her parents, but in the end, they won out. I’m not bitter, though, and I’ve got no plans on holding a grudge over it. With an extra person in the house, I was costing them extra money with the black hole that is my stomach, the extra tuition and basic necessities – I was consuming room they really didn’t have to spare.

I was, however, expendable. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that.

So where was I supposed to go? Well, Morgan had this idea. She was good friends with someone in the next province over who had ample funds and a “ginormous and drop-dead gorgeous behemoth of a mansion.”

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “How in the hell would a small-town teenager who’s never been outside of Western Canada know someone like that?” Well, don’t look at me, because I haven’t the slightest idea in hell how she knew this guy. Matter of fact, I still don’t, and it drives me crazy every time I think about it.

All I knew was that every time she mentioned him, she got this creepy little grin on her face and was completely and totally disinclined to tell me why. So, with the entirety of my life jammed into a duffel bag with my guitar on my back like a good ol’ hero of yore, off I went.

Let me tell you: when I first laid eyes on the iron gate in the brick wall surrounding the property, I knew I was going to end up gaping like a backwater hick when I finally saw the house. And I nearly did. The place was freaking huge! Morgan had called it a mansion, but in reality, it carried far more of a resemblance to a palace, perched on its manicured green lawn within the embrace of an old-growth forest on a little island off the coast. Hell, it has its own ferry service from a small town called Fenton’s Crossing. I marvel every day of the week that I wake up and remember that I live here, that this is my home. But that’ll come later.

I met Julian first, being as he was the one who answered the door, and my first impression of this blonde Englishman was: “too happy, too polite, too pretty, too English, most likely flamingly gay… Verdict? Creepy.” Yeah, yeah, so I’m a little judgmental sometimes. Gimme a break, all right? He turned out to be a good guy in the end – practically the mom I, well… don’t have, I guess.

Potatoe was there hiding behind his legs the entire time he was catching up with Morgan and introducing me to the house and all that. She was adorable, right from that first moment, even though she stuck out her tongue at me and ran away when I tried to get past that childish shyness of hers. I think she actually kicked me in the shin a couple of days later, too, when I made yet another botched attempt.

I met Artemis next, and Julian had to bring me up to her dark, dingy hole-in-the-wall that she calls a room and practically drag her away from the numerous computers piled on the desk dominating one wall before she would even look at me. When she did, though, I have to admit that I was stunned. Brilliant amber eyes, heavily lined with smudged kohl, immediately seized my attention and for the first couple of seconds I was stumbling over my own words. I mean, I’d never seen eyes like that before in my life – er, not that I know of, anyways.

I guess that since I’m only technically two years old that doesn’t count for much though, does it?

Sure, she was thin as a rake in addition to being flat as a board, and there was no push-up bra in the world that would have changed that fact, but her attitude and eccentric, impish nature made up for what she lacked in “womanly curvatures.” Piercings littered her face, marking her nose, both of her eyebrows, her lips, one of her cheeks, and her ears alone, hands down, would have given any airport security guard one hell of a time. She was still learning English when we first met, so she couldn’t really say much. Those eyes, though… They said more than enough.

She hated my friggin’ guts, and she trusted me just about as far as she could throw me – which, given her size, was not saying a whole hell of a lot.

Then again, back in those days, I think she hated everyone’s guts except… well… the only other three people in the Manor. Okay. Never mind. So for the most part it was just me in that particular household at the time. The rest of the world could kindly go fuck itself in her opinion, and only Julian, Potatoe, and this mystery friend of Morgan’s had been spared from her wrath.

I consider her one of my best friends now, no matter how often I’d rather punch her in the face than talk to her. It’s amazing how she’s changed, though, even I can admit that much; she started out angry and leery of everyone – men in particular – carrying too much baggage to handle on her own, and now…

Well, the complete opposite, really. At times. She’s still got one hell of an attitude on her when she’s having a bad day.

The big moment was coming up. Julian, with Potatoe braced on his hip, had told me that Rori – oh, was that his name? – had been working rather studiously in the library before, and he’d been reluctant to introduce me just then. Now, however… Now was the moment that I was to finally meet the Master of Bloodstar Manor.

And the way he eye-balled me with those white-green eyes of his creeped the ever-loving shit out of me, let me tell you. I swear to god, I think my balls decided to relocate to a warmer climate the first time I met him. Of course, it probably didn’t help that when I first shook his hand, it happened to be as cold as ice; the way he’d held onto my hand afterwards, then slowly lifted it to his mouth for a kiss, complete with a devilish smirk on his lips, just might have had something to do with it, too, though.

That was when I was airily told that Rori was a vampire. (Yeah, like that’s such a commonplace thing in today’s world, I remember thinking. Of course, I later found out that it was actually true. The world is littered with all sorts of supernatural creatures – people just don’t know about them, and they’re probably better off that way.)

Imagine that, though – an immensely successful businessman who just so happened to be one of the bloodsucking undead. Go figure, eh? So that’s what’s wrong with the corporate world today. Ah well. At least he wasn’t a lawyer, that’s what I remember thinking at the time. I don’t know where the hell that thought came from, but you know what?

Fuck it. I’m a muse; I’m allowed to be random.

After visiting for a couple of days while I settled in, Morgan left, and I was faced with the daunting task of attempting to cope with a brutal reality. I was stranded here, alone, in a house full of complete and total strangers – all of whom quickly became the proud new owners of an invisible ID tag, courtesy of none other than yours truly.

Julian: the lover of the Master of the Manor, as well as the perpetually smiling and mild-mannered schizophrenic Mad Hatter/Incubus – Cambion, technically, seeing as he’s only half incubus – who can suck souls out of the living and use them as fuel to elongate his own life. Not to mention he did this weird thing with some of the souls he’s taken over the years and, I don’t know, melded some of them with one of Rori’s rings or something, and apparently this thing helps protect him – Rori, that is – from sunlight. The actual mechanics of the whole thing are beyond me entirely, but considering the fact that I never before would have believed that such a feat was even possible, I figured it would be a kind of cool tidbit to mention. That ring is the only one of its kind in the whole world, apparently, and if Rori’s not wearing it, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to find him storing it up his asshole for safe keeping, because that is one vault that no one would be breaching no matter how good a thief they are. Speaking of…

Artemis: the German hacker/freelance thief who appeared out of nowhere with a recorded history of thefts and other misdemeanors longer than my friggin’ arm. Also comes with a questionable but shady past that I don’t think anyone other than Rori knows even today. He found her half-starved, going through withdrawals, and practically half-dead in the middle of winter in one of the stables, though – that ought to imply enough on its own that it is not a conversation topic to be touched upon.

Potatoe: the young girl whom Rori and Julian adopted from the streets and saved from an almost certain death. Julian home-schools her for the most part, since little girls named Potatoe would almost certainly chatter at great length with other little girls about her rather less than conventional home life. Never mind the fact that most people would simply brush it off as a child’s imaginative whimsies – there would still be no denying the attention that it would bring her, and the questions it would inevitably provoke in regards to her psychological well-being.

And then… There was Rori. Rori O’fucking-Connor. What else is there for me to say about him? The man is the very epitome of the word “trouble” for me. That’s all he’s ever caused me, and all too quickly, I began to realize exactly what form this trouble was to come about in.

Now, this bit is still rather difficult for me, so I hope that you’ll bear with me on this one, but… some shit happened that I’m not too fond of remembering, much less relaying to others. Even if said “other” is really just me with a memory wipe.

To start, let me tell you something about this particular vampire. Rori was a self-professed libertine when he was alive, and he was a libertine after his abnormal death. He remained as promiscuous as they came throughout the centuries, with a sex-drive to which none could compare, and an infinite fount of lust that resided unchecked within him.

I was one of the people, probably among many, that frequently fell victim to that lust… and not voluntarily. I remember…

Christ. I can still remember the first time he appeared in my room during the night. Since practically day one I was aware of just how flirtatious the man was, how fond he was of copping feels off young men and sometimes women that he found attractive – and I suppose it was his way of froshing, welcoming me to the household, as things were. To appoint it his own personal duty to harass me as much as possible… But that night wasn’t just another one of his jokes where he’d creep the shit out of me and then laugh it off and flounce away. Because that’s exactly what he does. He creeps, and then he flounces.

The fact that he came in under the cover of darkness woke me from one indescribable nightmare only to throw me headlong and reeling into another. I was scared stiff, and when I first realized that he wasn’t just kidding around and being playful in his own twisted way, I naturally began to fight back.

What I realized then was that attempting to resist a vampire – especially one as old as Rori – is futile, a waste of energy when you could be using that strength to hold back tears, to prevent your cries from being heard… to feebly ignore the… discomfort of the thing inside you. To try and convince yourself that this isn’t really happening, that it’s all a bad dream and nothing more and within moments you’ll be awake and safe again.

This was also the night when I found out that all of those stories, when they say that vampires cower before the sight and touch of the cross… Well, those stories and their authors are full of shit. Because they don’t cower and they don’t hiss at the cross. It doesn’t cow them at all.

As a matter of fact, Rori simply laughed at me, remarked on how adorable my effort was, and threw the crucifix away.

That was the first time it happened, and no one knew. He never told the others and neither did I. I blamed my sudden seclusion and emotional distance on being homesick, that I was still adjusting to living here and the things that came with it. I didn’t dare tell anyone what actually took place in that bedroom. After all, I’d just moved in, I didn’t know him… How was I supposed to know that the next time wouldn’t be worse?

Time passed and there was no next time, as I’d been expecting. Yue, Yami, Kali and Faith showed up at the Manor, one after the other – all outcasts, transients and walking enigmas – and life regained a somewhat distorted sense of normalcy. (As normal as things can get when you’re living with creatures who shouldn’t exist.) I was able to find some solace in the new company, because even though Artemis could speak sufficient, if dodgy English by this time, she often remained cooped up in her room, dealing with unspoken issues – carefully camouflaged demons – of her own.

But as I’ve already mentioned… The peace, the safety…? It didn’t last.

I’ve been taken against my will more times than I care to count. I don’t like saying “raped,” because… Well, it’s hard to explain, really. It’s something I know I don’t want, and I’m powerless to stop it from happening, but it’s not very often that Rori’s actually been violent in… forcing himself upon me. Granted, there have been times when his grip on his vampyric nature has slipped a little, and I’ve been left with wounds both physical and emotional and an immensely sore body… But it’s not always like that.

He told me once during one of these covert encounters that he didn’t want to hurt me, he didn’t want me to be afraid that he would – get this – abuse me, all very gently with his fingers in my hair and a delicate kiss pressed to my cheek. I may not want it, and I may fight back, but there are steps that he takes as a vampire to… lessen the damage, I suppose one could say. Manipulation and some kind of fogging of the mind, things like that; something that allows the sensations of the body to override and overwhelm any sense of fear or need to struggle. I guess you could almost relate it to a telepathic drug, of sorts. A psychic aphrodisiac. In essence, as ugly as it sounds, he forces me to enjoy it.

There is still a part of me that panics when he touches me, though, when he decides to…

It’s not as bad as it was then, when I first moved in, but… I’ve never belonged to myself. I’ve never been my own master – the “master of my own destiny,” if you really want me to be corny about it – but I guess that’s something I’ve just had to get used to over time.

Things would be different if I could just blindly accept them as they were. The only problem is… I don’t know. I’m more confused now than anything when he drops by for those visits under the cover of darkness. I can’t tell anymore if I’m actually enjoying what’s going on or if I still hate it, and Rori’s just been pulling the same tricks with my head that he always has. I’m confused, and… there’s…

I don’t know. Something just… feels different, somehow, like some obscure thing has changed in the ten months that I’ve been living here. I can’t say how or what or why… All I know is that it’s something about Rori.

So that’s my life now. That’s our life now. A life spinning ‘round a never-ending cycle of confusion and manipulated emotions; a life infused with the elements of a supernatural world that most probably wouldn’t believe unless they saw it for themselves.

My name is Jason Vaughn Riley, I’m eighteen years old, and I am a muse. This is my story.

No. Wait.

This is our story.

-x-

To Be Continued…

-x-

So, like it? Hate it? Wish it would spontaneously combust? Leave me a review and tell me all about it! C’mon, I wanna know everything! –maniacal cackle-

#writing #original fiction #oc writing #original story #mm #vampires #dark romance #paranormal romance #bloodstar manor #bloodstar #prologue #Garden of the broken

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gay-noodle-clan · 7 months

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helloooo, so i saw that u have a BNHA dr and u said that u werent a student, and i got really interessed since its different from mostly bnha shifters, if ure comfortable with that. could u tell more about this dr?

Hey! I’d love to clarify; I’ll happily talk about any of my DR’s any time :D

So, to summarise: my two OCs for my BNHA DR are my children in this DR, and I am their silly medieval parent trying to understand why my son said he’s a femboy and why my other son said that he likes TokTik.

More under the cut, but please be warned, I kinda went off on a lore rant; I’m sorry!

So, in my BNHA DR, I have two OCs, Kolka and Aros (yes their names are silly; I have legitimate reasons though, I promise). I don’t have any art, but Kolka and Aros are twins, and are my definition of chimaeras, which are half Kienrif (my home-brew shapeshifters) and half human, traditionally, and tend to have “splotchy” colouring that isn’t found naturally. I haven’t decided who their dad is yet, but I’m their mom in this DR.

So, I’ve made a post about it before, but my DR self is a (formerly) 1500 year old elf, but in this DR, it isn’t a former thing. My DR self is the elven equivalent of 40 years old and a single parent to two rambunctious kittens. In all of my DRs where I’m this character, they essentially get isekai’d to where they end up in the DR from their original reality (it’s basically shifting for them but like,,, he’s grouchy).

However, in my BNHA DR, a cataclysmic event happens: there’s a mass murder of Kienrif, entering genocidal territories through feeding Rowan berries to as many wild animals as possible, destroying the Kienrif food source since anything to do with the rowan trees are extremely toxic to Kienrif (this is because the god that created them is allergic).

ANYWAYS. TANGENT. Kolka and Aros are brought to the world of BNHA through what’s called an auyura, or a fae’s gate, which is supposedly their parent’s (me) last act before dying with the rest of their people, in a desperate attempt to keep his precious babies alive.

So these dudes, they’re just,,, vibing. Little medieval kitties that look and act like people but would maul you if given the chance. Think like, Floyd and Jade Leech from Twisted Wonderland but somehow even more chaotic and silly.

Kolka is kinda dumb, and loves getting into mischief. Aros is equally mischievous, but he’s smarter, and tries to be responsible. They’re usually a tag team though. Kolka has black hair and darker skin but has vitiligo and random white splotches in his hair, as well as heterochromia, with his left eye being dark brown while the other is extremely pale blue. Aros is… somehow a ginger, with some matching white spots in his hair similar to his brother, and yellow-ish eyes. They’re both tiger shapeshifters, but are also visible chimaeras due to this unusual and unnatural colouring pattern they both share.

BUT ANYWAYS I’m not dead. Mostly because I’m ✨ s p e c i a l ✨ but I have a coyote demon named Aeldiet who is basically my absolute best buddy and is the greatest dude ever (technically also a Kienrif but generally sticks to a coyote form). But he essentially murders a fae just to take their magic and get us the heck out of the murder land.

So now I’m a silly old man who’s trying to figure out this whole “modern-day” thing but my kids seem to have adjusted and I am very lost and also—

I forgot to mention it but my DR self is completely blind. I’m aware that this is an odd choice, but originally my DR self was an OC for a book, and it feels wrong for me to change the character simply because it doesn’t match an aesthetic. It’s the same way I choose to still have my DR self be trans; even though I could script myself as cisgender, I want to stay true to the character that I want to be, and I know this is an odd, potentially controversial thing, but it’s how I am going to be doing this. And no, I won’t be having any “magic fixes” for being blind. That’s not something I’m comfortable with.

—

Anyways this has become absolutely not at all what you asked about, and I am very sorry for that.

#reality shifting #manifestation #shifting #shifting realities #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #vikingnoodles #spacenoodles

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frogtanii · 3 years

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iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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