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leaderwonim · 2 months

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✴︎ THE MONSTER’s GONE, HE’S ON THE RUN, AND YOUR BOYFRIEND’s HERE.

pairing. lee heeseung x fem!reader

genre. established relationship, zombie apocalypse au, ANGST, fluff then and there, high sch!au (they’re seniors), mentions of dying and being bitten

synopsis. when it comes down to it, will lee heeseung protect you like he had promised in the beginning of your relationship?

author’s note. This one is a long one and I lwk felt my heart being ripped apart as I finished the ending 🙁 the scene where he sings to her is based off of the scene from “Beautiful Boy” where Nick’s father sings to him. I kind of envisioned Y/n and Heeseung as Cheongsan and On-jo so do whatever you want with this information!

Lee Heeseung was the perfect boyfriend. He was athletic, tall, and most importantly of all, loving. He wasn’t afraid to show you how much he cared about your relationship.

Being the captain of the hockey team came with a lot of perks. For one, no one was able to yell at him for always giving oogly eyes at you during practice, and no one dared say a word when Heeseung would stop in the middle of his laps to talk to you.

“It’s pretty cold, isn’t it?” Ha Kyungmi, the girlfriend of your cousin and Heeseung’s friend, Sunghoon, perched herself right next to you in the stands.

“Heeseung gave me his jersey.”

Kyungmi smirks, letting her hands feel the material of the jersey you have on. “You lucky bitch!” She says, making you giggle. “Heeseung’s never lent someone his jersey before, that’s how you know he’s serious.”

“That’s good to know,” your eyes look back into the ice, seeing your boyfriend and Sunghoon competing to see who was the fastest.

“You hear that breakout that’s been happening in Busan?” Kyungmi digs in her sweater pockets, pulling out her phone. “It’s reaching Seoul. My mom told me about it yesterday.”

You read over the article that Kyungmi shows you on her phone, something about a deadly outbreak that’s been contaminating the people of Korea. It had started in Busan, and it was making its way to Seoul now.

“Hey!” The voice of your boyfriend makes you snap out of your daze. Heeseung makes his way towards you along with Sunghoon, pulling off their skates as they tossed it against the wall.

“You look pretty,” Heeseung leans in to give your cheek a sloppy kiss, one that has Sunghoon pretending to gag at. “What are you gagging at Hoon? As if that’s not you and your girlfriend all the time.”

Sunghoon raises his hand in mock surrender, interlocking his hand with Kyungmi. “It’s weird seeing you kiss my cousin dude!” He says. “We’re gonna go to the cafeteria if you guys want to meet us there later.”

You glance at your phone, realizing there was only 15 minutes of lunch left.

“Sure, we’ll meet you there man.” Heeseung gives Sunghoon a pat on the back before intertwining his hand with yours, pulling you closer to him despite already being in close proximity.”

“Were you cold?” He asks, concerned bambi eyes making you bite your lip.

“No I wasn’t Seungie.” You lean your head on his shoulder, his thumb rubbing your fingers as the two of you stayed in silence for a bit. “We should probably meet with Sunghoon and Kyungmi before lunch ends.”

“Yeah.” The two of you stand up, making your way out of the ice rink. Thankfully for your growling stomach, your school’s cafeteria was only a few meters away.

“There they are!” Kyungmi waves the two of you over, “I told you buying 2 extra sandwiches was a good idea!”

“Okay okay, sorry baby.” Sunghoon says. “Took you guys forever.”

“It was 5 minutes Hoon,” Heeseung rolls his eyes, thanking Kyungmi as she passed you two your sandwiches. “I really don’t want to go to Ms. Jung’s class. She’ll be the death of me.”

Suddenly, there’s a scream, one that is so horrid that it makes your boyfriend drop the glass cup of orange juice he was holding.

“What’s happening?!” Heeseung says, standing up immediately. He wraps his arm around your waist, eyes widening when he sees students panicking all around.

“Quick, Mr. Jeon’s class is nearby!” Sunghoon pulls the three of you towards a classroom. Inside was about 10 other students, whom of which looked like they were on high alert.

“Yah,” one of the guys said, suddenly standing up. You recognize him as Yoo Hanbin, one of your classmates from biology during your tenth year. “Are you guys bitten? Show us your neck and arms.”

“Bitten?” Heeseung scoffs, pulling you closer to him.

“They don’t know what’s happening Hanbin.” One of his friends says calmly. “They’re probably just scared like us. Close the door, hurry.”

Hanbin snarls, but he obliges. He ushers the four of you in, closing the door in a rush. He then places the teacher’s large wooden desk against it with the help of the other students.

“What’s going on?” Kyungmi asks, flinching when a sudden bang comes from the door.

“Quick! Move more desks!” Despite not knowing what the hell was happening, you helped Hanbin and the others place all the desks against Mr. Jeon’s room.

“There’s an apocalypse,” Hanbin’s friend answers after you all catch your breath. “Haruto.” He introduces himself after.

“Apocalypse?” Heeseung’s grip on your hand is suddenly tighter. “What? You mean like a zombie apocalypse Haruto?”

“I didn’t believe it either,” Hanbin slides his body down against the wall tiredly, lifting up his sleeves to show you his arm. “At first.”

It was bloody and looked like it hurt badly.

“I was in the piano room when it happened. Seolhee’s cries were all I could hear before I heard them. Their growls.” Hanbin shakes his head, looking down at the ground. “I tried saving her—but I couldn’t. One of them tried to bite me before I slashed them across the face with the piano chair. I ran so fast that I fell on the way to Mr. Jeon’s room, that’s where the cut came from.”

You can’t help but send the poor boy a look of pity, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden information.

“Is this about the outbreak?” Kyungmi suddenly speaks up. “The one we read about, remember Y/N? Is it the one from Busan causing all of this?”

Haruto solemnly nods, and that’s enough for you to let out a small cry.

Heeseung wraps his arms around you, letting you bury your head into his chest. “Sh, it’s alright.”

But it wasn’t.

You and Heeseung huddle up together against one of the corners of the room alongside Kyungmi and Sunghoon, trying to generate as much heat as possible.

With the whole city in ruins by now, you knew electricity would be gone soon, you just hoped it would be gone in the morning instead of night.

“We’re almost out of water.” Haruto says, getting up suddenly. One of the girls, who you recognize as Ryujin gets up with him.

If you weren’t stuck in a zombie apocalypse, you would’ve gushed over how much they complimented one another. Ryujin was the star tennis player who looked like she hated everybody, but the way she looks at Haruto showed that she more than tolerated him.

“You seriously aren’t thinking..?” Ryujin pulls Haruto back by his arm. “You can’t go by yourself to get water!”

“I’ll go with him.”

For all the years you’ve known Sunghoon, he’s never been as brave as he was now. You could tell Kyungmi was scared out of her mind, grabbing onto his hand as her lips quivered.

“It’s too dangerous! We’ll live without water for now!”

“Don’t be ridiculous baby,” Sunghoon gives her a comforting glance. “Me and Haruto will go, we’ll come back soon.”

“If he’s going, I’m going too.” The emotions Ha Kyungmi felt earlier now transferred to you. You shake your head, not letting Lee Heeseung’s hand fall from yours. “Y/N, please. Sunghoon’s my best friend, I have to.”

But I’m your girlfriend, you wanted to say.

As much as it hurt you, you knew you had to let Heeseung go. The risks were high, but you knew the rest of your classmates were thirsty to death and needed water as soon as possible. You couldn’t be selfish and beg your boyfriend to stay in front of all of them.

“Be safe.” You say, standing up to cup Heeseung’s face. “Please. Protect yourself first.”

He nods, wiping away the tears that escaped your eyes.

“Promise me, Heeseung.” You whisper.

“I promise.”

You let go of Heeseung reluctantly, watching as him, Sunghoon, and Haruto all slowly push aside the desks, opening the door as slowly as possible.

The growls were less prominent than they were a few hours earlier. You didn’t even want to look through the window to see how many zombies were downstairs at your school’s entrance.

As soon as they’re gone, a boy comes and sits himself right next to Kyungmi and you, giving a small smile.

“You okay Kyung?”

You find it weird how close he’s being with Kyungmi, and even weirder that he waited till Sunghoon had left.

“I’m fine Eunwoo,” Kyungmi replies, slouching against the wall. “Are you okay?”

You turn your head back around, not wanting to eavesdrop on your friend. You prayed and prayed that Heeseung would be kept safe when he was going to get water. You knew where the boys were going—Mrs Ahn’s room. She was the only teacher who kept giant packs of water bottles in her class for students who were thirsty. You hoped Mrs. Ahn was still alive.

“They’re going to Mrs. Ahn, aren’t they?” Ryujin asks, sitting herself next to you.

“They are.” You turn to make eye contact with her, surprised to see a purple bruise near her eye. “What happened to you?”

“Zombies.” She grins, although she knows it’s no time for jokes. “I only made a fuss earlier because Haruto was the one who saved me. Despite being quiet, he really knows how to fight off zombies.”

“Hey,” you get closer to her, almost whispering now. “What do you know about Eunwoo over there?”

Ryujin raises her eyebrows, placing her sight on Eunwoo who was talking to Kyungmi up close. “Has had a crush on Ha Kyungmi for over a year now. I see them sometimes.”

Your eyebrows furrow, not expecting such a response. Before you could say anything back, Heeseung and Haruto quickly rush into the room, slamming the desks back onto the door.

“Seungie?” You and Ryujin rush over to help them. They had 2 packs of waters in their hands, letting it drop on the ground along with their knees as they tried to catch their breath.

“I—I—” Heeseung seems choked up, his eyes teary and red. “I tried to help him—I really did.”

Your jaw practically drops knowing full well what Heeseung was implying. Park Sunghoon was nowhere to be found, not behind him, not behind Haruto.

“They came so quickly, we panicked and we just ran and I—” Haruto is unable to finish his sentence when you let out a scream, your body scumming to the floor.

“My cousin’s dead?” You sob out, clutching onto Heeseung’s bloody blazer when he comes down to hug you.

“I can’t believe it,” Kyungmi’s mouth goes dry and she turns over to hug Eunwoo, who rubs her back comfortingly.

You’re too distraught to even question why she was in another guy’s arms right after your cousin, her own boyfriend, just died.

“I’m sorry,” Heeseung repeats over and over again, letting you cry into his shoulder.

“It’s not your fault,” you sniffle. “Tell me he died a quick death. Tell me it wasn’t painful for him Hee.”

“He fell out the window,” Heeseung says, a few tears escape his eyes. “They backed us up into a wall and Sunghoon fell out an open window. We heard a loud slam and when we looked, he was already dead.”

You sob even louder, making Heeseung’s hold on you tighten.

When you finally catch your breath and pull away, you notice how Heeseung has scratches all over his face.

“Oh Seung,” you say, tracing your fingers over them. “It must really hurt.”

“It feels fine when I’m with you.”

The both of you lean against the cushion that’s propped against the bookshelf in Mr. Jeon’s room, your head laying against Heeseung’s shoulder as you both hold each other’s hands tightly. You felt like Heeseung would disappear if your grip loosened.

“Your lip,” Heeseung suddenly says, letting his index finger touch your lips, which were chapped and bleeding.

“It’s fine,” you brush him off, but he shakes his head, reaching into his pocket for something.

“Here, I have your chapstick.” He pulls out your strawberry flavored chapstick, the one that you always bought before the apocalypse had happened.

“Where’d you get this?” You breathe out.

“I always keep a spare one in my pockets because I know you,” Heeseung smiles down at his lap. “I knew it would come in handy.”

Your eyes softened at his words, one hand coming to hold his chin as you lean in to give him a long kiss.

“Thank you Seungie,” you say as you pulled away. “For everything.”

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You suddenly jolt up from your sleep, face covered in cold sweat.

“Hey, hey, everything’s okay.” Heeseung whispers to you.

You take in your surroundings, making out Hanbin and Haruto’s figures guarding the doors and the rest of the students in the class asleep.

You had your head on Heeseung’s lap, your body sprawled along the cold tiled floor of Mr. Jeon’s class.

“How long have I been out?” You ask groggily, trying to squint at the dark clock on the wall.

“Just two hours.” Heeseung sighs. “The growling stopped for a bit. It’s eleven now. You should sleep more.”

You shake your head, disagreeing. “No Seung, you should sleep. I could watch over for a bit with Hanbin and Haruto.”

Heeseung bites his lip, almost as if he was really debating whether or not he should be sleeping right now.

“Seung, please. You need your energy.”

Heeseung agrees hesitantly, letting you switch places so now his head was on your lap.

“Goodnight Hee.” You say, placing a tender kiss on his forehead.

He smiles back at you, closing his eyes as he let sleep consume him.

Your eyes search around the room, focusing on Kyungmi and Eunwoo sleeping on one another.

Before you were too distraught to care about them two, but now that everything was calm, you really took in the situation.

Ryujin’s words rang in your ear like a mantra. Eunwoo liked Kyungmi for over a year now.

Does that mean.. ?

No, it couldn’t. You knew Ha Kyungmi. She was a sweet girl to you for the most part, she wouldn’t do that to your cousin.

Would she?

“They’re here.” You hear Hanbin whispering. His voice was filled with dread and fear, and your worst suspicions were true.

The zombies had reached your classroom.

“EVERYBODY! UP!” Haruto yells, clumsily turning on the small light that was still working in the room. “WE HAVE TO MOVE! QUICK!”

Heeseung wakes up with a grunt, his arms automatically reaching for your waist as if it was a natural reflex.

“They’re here?” He asks, squinting a bit at the bright light.

“Yes, let’s wake the others.”

You two start tapping your classmates awake.

“There’s a window we can climb out of.” Hanbin points at the window that was half covered by the cushion you and Heeseung had laid on earlier. “It’s not a big drop so we’ll survive it. It’s our only escape.”

Your classmates all start talking at once, some unsure of Hanbin’s plan.

“We don’t have much time!” Ryujin exclaims. “Quick! Climb out!”

A few of your classmates help each other get out of the window carefully, cheering silently when it works successfully.

“I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold them off.” Haruto says, the desks being pushed out by the bangs of the zombies on the door.

“Kyungmi! Let’s go!” Eunwoo grabs the girl’s hand, pulling her towards the window.

“Eunwoo—but—Y/N?!” She turns to face you, who was currently helping the boys hold the door against the zombies. “Y/N!”

“Just go Kyungmi!” You yell, watching as Eunwoo helps her get out first.

“We’re going to have to let go and make a swift run for it,” Hanbin says to the three of you. “A broken arm or leg will be better than dying at the hands of these creatures.”

Haruto closes his eyes, nodding slowly at his friend’s words. “On a count of three.”

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

The four of you let go, the zombies automatically piling into the room as soon as you do.

Haruto and Hanbin are quick, climbing out and jumping onto the ground in a swift second.

“Cmon Heeseung! Y/N!”

Heeseung climbs out first, foot barely making it out the window before one of the zombies have got you.

“Y/N!” He screams, hands gripping onto the window as he tries to reach for you.

“Heeseung! It’s not worth it!” Kyungmi shouts, “they’ve already got her, she’s gonna die anyway, it’s not worth it.”

Heeseung’s vision goes red at this. “I don’t fucking care Kyungmi! Unlike you, I actually love my girlfriend to death and would do anything for her!”

His words have her cowering in embarrassment, Eunwoo wrapping a protective arm around her.

“Yah you fucker!” Eunwoo yells. “You want to be with your girlfriend so badly? Then die!”

He and Kyungmi run off to find shelter, the only two who were left were Hanbin and Haruto.

They were silently begging Heeseung to drop it with their eyes, telling them that it wasn’t worth it.

“Cmon Heeseung man,” Haruto says croakily. “You’ll die.”

“Then I’ll die with her.” Heeseung whispers. He watches as one of the zombies bite you, making you scream out in pain.

The zombies all make their way to another classroom when they realize you’re the only one, and since you’ve already been bitten, you were no longer desirable to them.

Despite knowing he would most likely die if he did it, Heeseung climbs back into the room, pulling you into his arms as he did many times before.

“Hey, hey.” He chokes up as he pulls you closer. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s—okay.” You reassure him, eyes slowly turning red as your twitching hands come up to touch his jaw. “Will you sing to me Heeseung?”

You had always joked before that Heeseung would become a famous singer in the future, his beautiful voice entrancing you whenever he’d sing or hum a song.

“Of course.” He gulps, eyes becoming blurry from the tears as each second pasts.

“The monster’s gone, he’s on the run, and your boyfriend’s here.” Heeseung’s lips tremble, unable to hold in his emotions any longer. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl.”

He holds you in his arms despite your twitching body, knowing any second you would turn into one of them. He watches as the light from your eyes disappear, and your skin turns green and veiny.

Lee Heeseung doesn’t cry a lot. He believed that crying wasn’t going to fix anything.

But as he watched the Y/N he loved disappear from his arms despite being physically there, he sobs and sobs. Despite knowing it won’t do anything, he pulls your body onto his, hands on the back of your head as he begs the world to silently bring you back.

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kiri-thighs · 9 months

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Express | J.Fisher

FEM! READER

summary: you and jeremiah are best friends and you two get into a terrible argument on the beach after showing mixed signals of each other's company. you express your feelings for him at the end of it and he realizes with you two obviously ignoring each other that he has those same feelings for you.

warnings: angst, mentions of underage drinking, cursing + TAKES PLACE IN AMAZON PRIME VIDEO SERIES SEASON 2. If you don't want minor spoilers please don't read OR you can watch season 2 first!! this one shot does not completely go with the plot of the show!

thank you and enjoy lovely readers 🤍

"I can't fucking believe you, Y/N." Jeremiah said, half intoxicated due to them leaving a party at Susannah's house. Susannah was gone and all of you had decided to throw a party.

Rewinding to at least an hour before he had said those words to you, what led up to this moment was surprising. As you and Jeremiah were partying, about to kiss a fight broke out between Milo and Steven.

Another event happened where Skye ended up sharing the news about their mom, Julia making a deal with the kids that lived, well used to live at the Cousins beach house.

You and the others were allowed one week each summer, since the family that Julia had sold it to wasn't going to use it too much. Jeremiah, you and Belly hearing the news, all three of you were happy.

Though there was one person that couldn't accept the deal and that was when Jeremiah and Conrad ended up fighting. You were in the middle of it.

"Jere don't say that-" You said, holding his arm as Jeremiah pushed you away, which caused you to be taken aback. As Belly was leaving, Skye went after her. You stayed as you watched Jeremiah throw hurtful words towards Conrad.

"Jere stop-" You said but Jeremiah looked at you, after everything that he said to Conrad.

"So what you're defending him now too?" Jeremiah asked as you looked at Conrad, before looking down and shaking your head.

"I'm, I'm not sure." You whispered.

"Yeah. There it is again. The I'm not sure from Y/N. One happy thing, such a small thing that everyone could be happy about and you go and ruin it Conrad." Jeremiah said as he walked away.

As everyone seemed to go their separate ways, you stayed in front of Conrad as you felt your chest was hurting.

Conrad was silent, his eyes teary due to the words that Jeremiah said towards him. Conrad looked up as you were lost in thought, your mind vacant before you hear Conrad calling out your name. You looked up at him when he asked, "You okay?" his voice was shaky, hoarse and like it was caught in his throat.

"Yeah...yeah it's just," You started before sighing. "Last summer was messy." You stood there as your voice was shaky too, wondering why in this moment you felt like breaking down.

There was one specific person that you loved so much. That person was Jeremiah Fisher. Yet with how things were going last summer due to the whole love triangle, Susannah and other messy stuff, it was like that again.

You were caught in the middle of it and it was not until this summer that your feelings for Jeremiah were growing uncontrollably larger.

"As soon as school got out, hearing about the house being sold I've been trying hard too. To get the house back. To talk some sense into your dad. To talk to your aunt and I never once told anyone how much things have effected me." You said as your eyes teared up remembering the way Jeremiah and Conrad looked at each other with so much remorse.

"I love Jere. So much, Conrad" You whispered. "Last summer I realized I liked Jeremiah even if he's been my best friend my entire life. Seeing Jere and Bells kiss with Steven, I couldn't take that happiness away." You smiled as you wiped your tears, you weren't a drinker so these were your raw emotions, not intensified too much because there was no alcohol intake.

Conrad seemed to go more silent hearing that Jeremiah and Belly kissed, as if not knowing that already. It was a reminder that Belly couldn't choose. You looked at him as if apologizing for bringing it up.

"Conrad," You called out, "I wanna keep fighting for this house but I don't know how much more all of us can take if it's causing this much damage," You said truthfully as your tears were falling harder. Conrad was crying as well, his head held low before pulling you into a hug.

You two were somewhat the same. Bottling things up, though Conrad got the bigger blow. You hugged Conrad tightly as you sniffled, continuing what you were saying.

"I just had to be there for you both," You mumbled. "You are here," Conrad mumbled. "You are, you really are." Conrad said in a shaky tone, not knowing how else to comfort you. Not knowing if what he was doing for you was helping you feel better.

You didn't want Belly to be alone but the one person that needed someone, knowing that Conrad would go after Belly, you knew no one would be there for Jeremiah.

Conrad pulled away as you wiped your tears. Conrad wiped his away as he patted your head. "Go after Belly," You told Conrad. You pointed to his chest.

"I already know you will." You smiled at him as Conrad nodded. Everyone rarely saw you cry. You knew that you had just let it all go to Conrad, but knew that he had something to take care.

Conrad nodded as he slowly walked away from you, leaving you there to wipe your tears away in hopes that they would be gone. You took a deep breath before walking back into the beach house, the strobing lights still seen through the house's windows since the curtains seemed to not be covering any part of the windows.

You looked through the crowd, trying to find Jeremiah amongst the people dancing and drinking. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes always made you cringe, you and Cam always got along pretty well when it came to parties because you two didn't drink.

You didn't drink specifically because your mom died due to a drunk driver. You didn't want to be that way, and there would come a time when you would finally drink.

You saw spray painting on the wall, people breaking windows and tables as you shook your head, moving past people who were shoving you left and right.

Finally though you found Jeremiah standing against a wall with a red cup already in his hands. You were in front of him as he looked down at you with the same angry expression he showed Conrad.

He was ready to leave, pulling his weight off of the wall as he turned away from you. You grabbed his wrist quickly, making him accidentally drop the red cup in his hand, spilling the drink on the ground.

Jeremiah tried his hardest to hold back his anger, you being his best friend he couldn't be mad. Not at you completely. You looked up at him as he turned around, his eyes still averted away from yours.

"Can we talk?" You asked him, loud enough to go past the loud music that was playing.

"I don't see a reason," Jeremiah said as you bit the inside of your lip and held his wrist harder.

"Then you don't need a reason but I have one." You said as Jeremiah finally looking at you. The reason he didn't want to look at you was because he saw you crying on Conrad.

He knew the reason why you were crying and it was because of him. He knew that too well that he was the one that made you cry, yet he couldn't comfort you and say that it was okay.

Jeremiah pulled his wrist away from your strong grip before walking outside with you, to the beach, a different part of it since Belly and Conrad were talking as well.

You followed after him, as you stared at the back of his head before he finally stopped when you both reached your favorite log on the beach. He turned around as he stared at you with a look of anger still.

"If this is about what I said to Conrad, I'm not taking it back." Jeremiah said.

"Jere you didn't have to say all of that-" "He asked for my blessing, Y/N" Jeremiah started getting riled up, already feeling that anger was bottled up inside of him.

"Yes he did, but he needed someone, he needed his brother and this summer you guys have been butting heads indirectly but things were getting better," You said as had your hands out, you trying not to get teary eyed. Yes you were defending Conrad because he was in the right, but you wanted Jeremiah to know that too.

"Since when were we getting better?" Jeremiah asked as he scoffed, laughing a bit because it was unbelievable to him. "He took Belly away from me. I had to watch him and Belly together. I thought of all people you would know how lonely I was because I was there for my mom when no one wasn't." Jeremiah said, his voice partially raising.

You felt your heart ache as your tears were starting to become visible but you wiped your face while Jeremiah was looking away. You didn't know. How else to tell him. How else could you possibly comfort him?

"Jere," You called out, "I'm here," Was all that could slip out.

"Where were you then? When were you here?" Jeremiah asked as his eyes were tearing up, his eyes seeming to get rid of the anger slowly but it was evidently still there.

"You always comforted everyone else before you came and checked up on me. You ran after Belly when her and Conrad fought at my mom's funeral. MY MOM'S funeral. You told me that you would always be there for me first, you liar." Jeremiah pointed to his chest, as he was hitting his chest with his fingers as he was saying that.

You hated it. Seeing him in so much pain but you were in pain as well. "Jere, I tried to take care of everyone and I'm sorry. I swear I came to check up on you first you're twisting the story," You said, trying to stay calm, while Jeremiah was raising his voice at you.

"You know what, whose side are you on?" Jeremiah asked as he put his hands on his hips, turning his body as he was now rejecting looking at you.

"I saw Conrad hugging you," "Jere are you seriously doing this right now-" "Doing what? Watching you be comforted because you're what the girl version of me and Conrad combined? Bottling shit up and then acting like it's okay? Yet you don't even go and run after me?"

"You aren't making any sense Jere why are you blaming me for that thing specifically?" You asked as you put your hand on Jeremiah's but he pushed you away once again, like he did back there during his argument with Conrad.

"Don't fucking touch me." Jeremiah said with a rough voice. "Whose side are you on." Jeremiah asked as you bit your lip.

You clenched your fists, "What do you even mean Jere?!" You finally yelled which took him aback. You looked away as your chest was heaving.

"When was I here? I've been here the entire time! Being in the middle of you and Conrad. The middle of you and Belly. The middle of you three!" You yelled as you stepped towards him, you pointing your finger on his chest as you were pushing him with it.

"I was there even if I was in pain too. With my mother's death at the beginning of last summer, then Susannah was next. You don't see it do you?" You asked as your tears were falling uncontrollably.

"You needed someone and when you say no one was there for you I watched you miserably. I watched you and felt invisible. You focused on Belly so much when you guys had a thing and I had to act like I was okay with that." You laughed but it mixed with crying too.

"I tried so hard to continuously fix things. Every time Belly had a conflict with Conrad or you I would be there for her. Every time you felt so alone I was there. I was there for each and every one of you and yet you're asking me where I was?!" You yelled.

"Y/N-" Jeremiah said as he took your finger off of his chest and held your hand but you pulled your hand off of him. "I get how much Belly effected you. How much you love her," You said as you knew the next words that you were about to say were fucked up. You knew that you shouldn't put yourself before others.

"I love you Jere," You said, in hopes that he would return the feelings. Yet you knew. You knew that you two made a promise to one another that you would never fall for each other.

There was complete silence, the silence killing you but Jeremiah was taking time to process. The processing ended up stopping, but the next words that Jeremiah said towards you were words that you wished he would never say to you, but he did.

"I can't fucking believe you, Y/N" Jeremiah said as he had a face of disgust. An expression he never had towards you but to others. You saw the way he looked at you, the way that you wished he hadn't.

"So that's it," You said as your breath hitched before your next words came. "You and I were about to kiss, obviously getting even closer during this whole week and you say that to me," You said as Jeremiah looked away.

"That was a mistake," Jeremiah said as your lips quivered, tears falling harder. "I didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to kiss someone." Jeremiah lied, but you didn't know that. Jeremiah knew that he didn't want to hurt you if he was still in love with Belly.

"You wanted to kiss someone?" You asked as Jeremiah nodded. "I love Belly." Jeremiah said straightforwardly. "We promised each other that we wouldn't."

"Fuck- promises are meant to be broken!" You yelled. "Can't you make an exception just this once? That you can love me somehow? The way I love you?" You asked, begging for Jeremiah to somehow look at you the way he always has.

The one time that you finally break, after being so worn out with being the therapy friend, the friend that everyone could depend on but at your lowest moments you could only depend on Susannah and Laurel.

Susannah was gone and that impacted you too but you knew that if you compared it to the pain that Jeremiah and Conrad felt, it would be selfish. That the mother figure that replaced your mom when she passed, was now gone and the last mother figure you had was Laurel.

"I can't fucking look at you." Jeremiah said, his breath shaky. "I can't believe you." Jeremiah said as he started walking past you. You didn't watch him leave, as you stood there, still in front of your favorite log that you two would always have heartfelt conversations on.

Before he could walk away completely, you turned to him. "You can't just leave it at that!" You yelled before Jeremiah stopped. You sobbed as you begged for him one more time, wanting his answer to change.

"Yes I can." Jeremiah said as he turned around, his eyebrows knitted. "I can say that I can't." Jeremiah said, his voice shaky because he was afraid. Afraid that he was losing you now too and it was because of the words that were coming out of his mouth.

You walked up to him and tried your hardest but still he pushed you off of him. He would never treat a girl like this, ever. Yet it seemed like you were a different case. He wanted to get away from you.

"Just- Just get away from me alright?!" Jeremiah yelled which made you stop. You froze and as you did, Jeremiah ran his fingers through his hair before his tears fell as his breath was hitching too.

You watched as he sobbed, his emotions seeming to stir in the pot but with each new ingredient in there, it was the wrong ones every time. You reached out to Jeremiah, but your efforts were short as he finally decided to leave.

This time you didn't go after him. As much as you tried to comfort him, he still walked away without turning back even if your cries were heard. You had tried to hug him, knowing that was always the solution but this time, that solution was last place.

You fell to your knees as you sobbed out, wishing that the conversation ended on a high note but it didn't. Your heart ached before you felt everything suddenly get blurry and shaky. Due to the many emotions you were feeling everything had gone black.

NEXT MORNING

The sun was shining over Cousins beach. The next morning came and everyone at the party was gone. The guests were gone at least except the mess that was left behind.

You felt your breath catch in your lungs before waking up when you felt the glare of the sun hitting your body. You woke up, getting up from the sand on the beach.

"Did I really sleep here?" You asked before your eyes softened realizing no one noticed you were gone. You were hoping Jeremiah would at least bring you inside or be concerned for you seeing that you didn't come inside later that night.

You had your hands on the sand before standing up, your legs feeling numb because of the emotions that were still hitting you right as you wake up.

You walked off of the beach and into the beach house, seeing that the door was wide open, before realizing Laurel's car was there in the driveway.

You blinked before you realized. You ran inside but was met with Belly walking out of the house. Belly was holding her cheek. "Bells?" You called out as held her arm, trying to stop her. She hugged you tightly, her tears falling onto your shoulder.

You were shocked seeing the amount of tears coming out of Belly's eyes. You held the back of her head as you hugged her tightly before she pulled away and walked out to the beach.

You watched as she left, your breathing on double time before walking inside knowing that she needed space. You saw Laurel there, with Steven, Conrad and Jeremiah.

Steven told Laurel that Belly and the rest of the kids were at least here for Susannah's boys while Laurel was absent. After hearing Laurel already knew about the house being up for sale. Everyone walked away from Laurel and apparently you now. Jeremiah didn't bat an eye at you, covered in sand.

Laurel looked over to you before you looked away. "I'll start cleaning up," You whispered. "Belly needs her mom right now." You whispered before grabbing a trash bag, feeling somewhat small as you started to clean the place.

It was an hour or two later that Laurel announced that she would fight for the house and talk to Julia about it. Everyone was thankful for Laurel, glad that Belly reached out to her mom.

You kept your distance from everyone as you felt invisible and sad again. You looked at Jeremiah a few times but he never looked at you. He really did mean that he wouldn't look at you at all.

Julia finally arrived and as the kids were cleaning up, Laurel pulled Julia aside talking at Susannah and her's favorite spot.

You continued to clean up as Belly came over to you with Taylor. "You okay?" Belly asked, her hand on your back. You didn't know that Jeremiah and the others were also listening in as well.

"Yeah, just a little tired." You told Belly. "Jere and I had a big argument last night." You smiled sadly. As Belly pulled you aside along with Taylor and Skye who seemed to tag along, Steven looked over at Jeremiah.

"What happened?" Steven asked Jeremiah who was scrubbing the wall, trying to get the spray paint off of it. Jeremiah shook his head. He knew if he thought about it then he would've said the wrong things somehow.

"Nothing," "Well it doesn't seem like nothing Jere. Taylor and I watched the whole thing. I wanted to punch you so badly seeing the way you made her cry." Steven said as Conrad awkwardly listened, still on the silent treatment with Jeremiah.

Steven put down his trash bag as he made Jeremiah stop too. "I get it. We've all been through a lot of shit man but I know damn well that you love Y/N. More than Belly." Steven said as Jeremiah looked away.

"I don't." "You really are an airhead like they all say." Steven chuckled before making Jeremiah face him.

"You may think that taking the easier option is better but the better option will always be there for you and if I'm going to be honest it's Y/N. You said it so yourself. Belly will always have something for Conrad. There's someone though waiting for you." Steven said since Conrad left the room. Jeremiah looked up at Steven as Steven was awkwardly smiling.

"I.." Jeremiah said before his shoulders fell, "I fucked up so badly," Jeremiah said as Steven agreed.

"Well yeah. Can't say that I don't agree with you cause I do." Steven laughed as Jeremiah nodded.

"I..I don't know. I just don't know." "Well you gotta know somehow. All the things you said weren't her true intentions and even you know that when you start to regret what you said. She's always been there for you. Through everything. Of course she would love you dude. It isn't hard to love someone like you. Especially her. She always finds a reason." Steven reassured as Jeremiah's eyes teared up.

"Do you think she'd forgive me? For the things I said? I've never in my life spoke to her like that. I've never said such harsh things to her and yet in that moment it felt that that was the only thing that I could do." Jeremiah explained, his obvious regret showing.

"Give it a day or two. You'll probably realize it more." Steven patted Jeremiah's shoulder. "What you said was fucked. Even I would be hurt if someone said that to me." Steven said, not trying to blame Jeremiah but he knew that the two would push through.

Jeremiah paused for a bit before nodding. He knew that he had to do something somehow. He knew if he wasn't there for you the way you were there for him, then no one would be. Hearing that you slept on the beach, eavesdropping and everything no one came to come get you.

Jeremiah knew that as a best friend he should've been there for you. To carry you inside despite being so mad at you. He knew that he put his emotions first. Who knows what could've happened. He wasn't there for you the way you were there for him.

Those thoughts of what he said to you last night started to course through his mind. He winced at the thought of everything as Steven went to go clean more.

He would give it a day or two, in hopes that he would realize it all.

That he needed you, and loved you the way you did.

Taylor was currently giving you a hug as you tried your best not to cry. You stayed so strong up until now but again, you were a carbon copy of Conrad and Jeremiah combined. Belly and Skye were rubbing your back as you cried.

You hated the words that Jeremiah said towards you. Taylor had heard it all with Steven and explained everything to Belly and Skye for you so that you didn't have to.

You closed your eyes, hoping that all of this was a bad dream. Hoping that what Jeremiah said wasn't meant. Your chest kept on going up and down quickly. You were hiccuping as your walls crashed down.

You hoped that the house would be in the possession of the boys. You knew though that you didn't want to be a part of it anymore. You told yourself as you were being comforted, that this would be your last summer at the Cousin's house.

THE NEXT DAY

As you all were wrapping things up, Conrad and Jeremiah had a heartfelt conversations the night before. It seemed that everything was able to be fixed yesterday except things with you and Jeremiah.

You of course included yourself in helping Conrad study for his test in Brown to get into Stanford. Everyone was all for it, especially Belly. Yesterday evening was the last time you saw Julia and Skye for now.

After being able to convince Jeremiah and Conrad's dad about selling the house they had in Boston, things started to get good from there.

The morning came around and things needed to finish up. With the house not being on the market, everyone needed to go home and would be able to come back whenever they'd like and whenever everyone had free time.

You smiled as you were saying goodbye to Laurel. While the others were saying goodbye to one another, you wanted to talk to Laurel first.

"Thank you so much Laurel for everything that you've done up to this point." You said as you were holding her hands. Laurel smiled as she looked at you. You looked back at her, and the obvious eye bags were under your eyes.

"I heard what happened between you and Jeremiah," Laurel said as she gave you a hug. "Thank you so much for being here for everyone. We'd love to see you here again next summer or this summer if anything." You softened up in Laurel's hold before holding onto her and smiling.

"I'll think about it," You said as Laurel nodded. Laurel slowly pulled away as everyone started getting into their cars. You ended up actually driving here, so you didn't have a problem taking your time getting home. You took a good look at the Cousins house.

You weren't ready to leave yet, as everyone was talking about when they would next be all together. Everyone was saying the fourth. You looked at everyone in the group before smiling and humming.

"Yeah, I'll be available whenever." You chuckled as you started waving goodbye to everyone. "I'm gonna stay here for a bit longer. Conrad tell me how the test goes. Tell us everything," You smiled as Conrad nodded, with a content smile.

"See you whenever, Y/N" You nodded as everyone seemed to be driving out of the driveway. You didn't notice that Jeremiah actually stayed behind, instead of driving off in his brother's car. Conrad ended up leaving without Jeremiah.

You had your back turned, oblivious to Jeremiah staying behind as you walked into the Cousin's house, going to the pool as you dipped your feet in the cold water.

You heard the door open and looked back seeing Jeremiah was there, his hands in his pockets as he looked over at you, sitting on the ledge of the swimming pool.

You slowly looked away, still kicking your feet gently. Jeremiah slowly sat next to you, dipping his feet in the water with yours. It was silent for a good minute as the awkward silence was sitting there with you two as well.

Jeremiah was the first to break the silence, as he looked at you slowly, seeing that you were watching your feet kick in the water that you were now used to since they have been in there for at least a minute.

"Let's talk?" He asked as you tensed up a little before shaking your head. "I don't see a reason to." You snapped back, repeating his words from last night. To your surprise though, Jeremiah said the exact same thing that you had said to him too. You both switched placed though.

"Then you don't need a reason but I have one." Jeremiah whispered which made you stop kicking your feet. You slowly looked over at Jeremiah, your eyes already teary eyed. Jeremiah stared at your hurt filled eyes as he winced seeing how drained you looked.

Jeremiah reached up as he cupped your cheek gently, but you pulled away a bit. Jeremiah still tried though, holding both of your cheeks as he took a good look at you.

"No," Jeremiah whispered. "Don't pull away," You shook your head more as you held onto Jeremiah's wrists, wanting to shove his hands off of you but you knew that if you didn't want to do that truly.

"But you did," You told Jeremiah as you continued to look at his ocean eyes. "You pushed me away," Jeremiah nodded.

"I know I did, and I'm sorry Y/N." Jeremiah said as he wiped away the tears that were streaming down your cheeks as they were coming down.

"You didn't eat today or yesterday. You haven't slept either. I saw you were still awake even when everyone else was sleeping." Jeremiah said as he put his thumb gently under one of your eyes, seeing the obvious eye bags that already grew.

"It's hard to when you're mad at me." You admitted. "I didn't think you would have noticed me at all since you said that you couldn't look at me," You looked away as Jeremiah's eyes softened.

"Everything with Conrad, I resolved all of it. We told each other that we would talk things out as they come and not let them linger." Jeremiah admitted towards you.

"Things with Belly..I already knew that I don't love her that way. That there will always be a better option for me and..Y/N that's you." Jeremiah said, trying to convince you that the words he said to you a night ago was wrong.

You continued to look away as Jeremiah was the one speaking this time. "I do love you too. In the way that a best friend does but the way that a lover does too." Jeremiah said as he slowly let go of your cheeks, grabbing hold of your hands that he noticed were shaking, seeing your body tremble as well.

He could still see the silent cries you were giving and he knew that instead of being jealous of others that he'd rather be there for you than watch you crying in someone else's arms.

You stayed silent as you listened to Jeremiah, still trying to register everything. "I know..it's hard to forget what I said. But I'd rather say this and take back all of the words." Jeremiah held your hands still, trying to stop them from shaking as he kissed your hands gently.

He closed his eyes, "I'm so sorry for the way I talked to you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for blaming you and lying to you that it was a mistake." You started to sob but Jeremiah didn't stop.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away and thinking you're invisible..you aren't. I needed someone and Belly couldn't be there for me because she was always with Conrad the most. I'm sorry for forgetting about you." Jeremiah's voice started to become shaky, starting to get emotional as he continued.

"I'm sorry for never realizing how much I loved you, Y/N." Jeremiah stopped when you took your hands off of Jeremiah's hands. With this, Jeremiah thought that you were going to get up and leave but you had your hands on his chest, pushing him gently.

Jeremiah looked up at you as you looked at him, hiccuping as your voice finally came out. "Stop," You whispered as you punched him gently, "Just kiss me already," You begged as Jeremiah's eyes widened.

Jeremiah put his forehead on yours as he watched you start to calm down, feeling how close he was to you. Jeremiah gently, hesitantly grabbed your cheek.

"I want to kiss you, I really do." Jeremiah said as your noses touched, booping one another's. "Out of all the people, it was always you." Jeremiah said before his lips hit yours.

Your body stopped trembling, as you melted into the kiss that Jeremiah had given you. Your first kiss was with your best friend. This was Jeremiah's millionth kiss probably but to you, this was the kiss you wanted it to be with.

You kissed Jeremiah, wrapping your arms around Jeremiah's neck as you pulled him closer.

He pulled you closer by the waist as he held you tightly, not wanting to let you go. You pulled away for a second before reconnecting your lips together with his.

Jeremiah tucked some strands of your hair behind your ear, feeling his chest was about to explode because of how much his heart was beating double time.

No one else could make both of you feel this way, both of you knew that for sure as you felt sparks. As Jeremiah slowly pulled away, Jeremiah stared into your eyes as he smiled softly, seeing how out of breath you were.

"The tears are gone." Jeremiah pointed out as he hugged you tightly, burying his face in your neck. You pressed your lips against his curly hair, closing your eyes slowly.

Jeremiah looked up at you again, pulling away a bit from the hug. He connected his lips with yours again, kissing you was so easy to him it seemed.

You kissed him back instantly, smiling in the kiss because you felt better. You felt that things really were going to be okay with Jeremiah. Jeremiah pulled away this time, staring at your lips before pecking it gently with a smile.

Jeremiah rubbed your back gently before getting up and helping you up as well. Jeremiah held your hands before sitting down on one of the beach chairs with you. He put you on his lap gently, having you face him.

You had your hands on his shoulders, having some support as you stared into his eyes.

As you two were silently looking at one another, the silence was broken when both of you said at the same time,

"I love you," You and him stared at each other before laughing softly together.

"Let's stay here for a bit, then I'll come over and sleep over." Jeremiah said as you nodded.

"I'd love that, a lot." You said as you pushed all of your weight on Jeremiah's as he laid on the beach chair with you on top of him.

Jeremiah kissed your forehead gently, having his arms up as a arm pillow.

Jeremiah closed his eyes as he smiled softly. "Me too,"

#jeremiah fisher #tsitp fanfic #angst with a happy ending #fluff #tsitp jeremiah #jeremiah fisher x reader #love #best friends to lovers #the summer i turned pretty #xreader #imagine #one shot

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sweetandsavageautistic · 28 days

Text

(CW: Cringe, Autism Parents stuff, drunk mention, infantilization)

So I don't have a degree in Graphic Design, but I do have a sense of general aesthetic. I figured that it's April. Let's rate, and potentially verbally tear apart and drag through the mud, some autism shirts and graphic designs, and I'll probably do a part 2, these scores are only semi-arbitrary: First up is this:

Already off the top, I am confusion because it seems to read "I wear puzzle cousin autism awareness". Sounds like whoever made this was drunk.

Puzzle pieces, ew.

The red, yellow, green, and blue look like the shades you'd see in elementary school, so that seems pretty infantilizing.

Autism Awareness, I am very much aware of my existence.

Final Score: 0 out of 10. Designer, go home; you're drunk.

Next we have this:

This one already has a slight advantage over the first because it's at least coherent in terms of the message.

Elementary school colors, but make it extra tacky.

Puzzle pieces; don't try to bullshit me by putting the autism awareness banner over it, I can see the other indents that make them puzzle pieces.

Once again, I am well aware of my own existence.

At least it's a smaller design.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10, and that's being generous.

Next one's not a shirt, but it still counts:

No blue so thank God for that.

This is up to personal preference, but to me, the person-first language is giving "I need to be reminded that someone is a person."

Puzzle pieces. Ew. Don't BS me, I can see them.

Walk down Autism Lane. (it's right below the word LOVE) Sorry, but we don't allow ableists on Autism Lane; you need to be a premium member and to be a premium member, you need to not be a dick.

The pumpkin disturbs me for some reason, and not in the Halloween way; I mean, it just straight-up disturbs me.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10. Bury it in a shallow grave.

Just found this one:

It's easy on the eyes at least.

No tacky elementary school colors.

No puzzle pieces.

The bunny's cute, but this also seems very infantilizing.

Person first language is a no for me.

Why are all of the is lowercase, but the others are uppercase?

Final Score: 5 out of 10. Not great, but not terrible.

Here we have simple:

Elementary school colors, but credit where credit's due; it's not terrible on the eyes.

Why is blessed on there three times?

One big-ass puzzle piece.

"Autism blesses" Yes, because being bullied by my peers, being indirectly told who I am is wrong, having the worst time making friends, always feeling like I'm never truly part of a friend group, being confused when some adults got mad at me, not having anyone to play with at 4 years old is an absolute fucking blessing. /s And that's the tip of the iceberg.

"Fun", "Sweet", "Cute".....it's the infantilization for me.

Final Score: 3 out of 10. No further elaboration.

Then there's this monstrosity:

I call this color Patronizing Paraprofessional Blue, aka the tackiest shade of blue ever.

It looks like something one of those older white suburban millennial moms would wear. Like something a Karen would wear to one of those autism walks or one of those social skills teachers who talk in that slowed-down patronizing kindergarten teacher tone with that fake-ass smile, no matter how old you are. You know the one I'm talking about, right? Yeah, they'd wear this.

Puzzle piece. Light It Up Blue. Ew.

We all know what organization this supports.

Final Score: -10 out of 10. Burn it.

Let's get in a good one to counter that abomination of a shirt and end part one on a higher note:

Nice simple design with a black background.

No tacky elementary school colors.

Identity-first language.

Really counters the....what the fuck would it be called? The UwU autism parent thing? ("I am his voice, he is my heart," "See the able, not the label," etc,.) It counters that.

The light sparkle around "a bitch" is chef's kiss.

Final Score: 11 out of 10. Perfection.

#autism awareness #autism acceptance #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #sweet and savage autistic

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 days

Note

Am I the asshole for using very harsh words after trying to defend my sister?

So, me (17F) have a little sister (14F) and we study on the same school. My sister is usually very shy, but a very fun kid to be around when you meet her. She's kind, smart and very funny. She knows how to fight when she has to protect someone (me, our cousins, etc) because she is a very loyal person, but she doesn't know how to even yell when someone fights to her. She gets embarrassed easily and gets nervous, she chooses to ignore.

She's chubby (which it doesn't make her any less beautiful) and she already faced some unfunny jokes from other people before, which made her insecure about her body, but something so serious never happened to her... Until two weeks ago. So, I was hanging around with my friends, going back to my classroom when the school break was over. But one of my sister's little friend came to me and told my sister was crying in the bathroom and didn't wanted to get back to class.

My heart skipped a beat and I ran straight to the bathroom. When I got there, my sister's nerd little friends were all around her trying to talk to her, and she was there: her head hidden in her hands and hipcupping so much she couldn't even talk to me. One of her friends told me there was a girl in her class (let's call her Amanda) that was bullying her for at least a month, but now Amanda got worse: she called my sister an ugly cow in front of the whole class and said my sister's ginger hair looks bad. And Amanda also put chewed gum in her hair. Man, my vision got red. I was out of the bathroom before anyone could stop me and the only thing I heard was my sister telling me to don't go. But it didn't matter. That friend (the one that came to me to tell me about my sister) was following me and told which one of the kids walking to the classroom was Amanda. When I laid my eyes on Amanda, I realized that I've seen her around the school halls before. I know her kind: those young girls that are not even on highschool but try to act older. Using long ass nails and talking loudly about inappropriate things so she can be that girl. I tapped her back, she turned to me and I said "Are you the bitch bothering [my sister's name]?" and... Well, that's when the chaos began.

Basically, all the kids from her class and other classes were watching it all. Amanda was still acting all tough and saying she was just joking, that my sister was too weak to handle the truth and told me to fuck off. I also said some shit to her (I'm not gonna say some words because I think is inappropriate even for tumblr, but the least offensive thing I said was that she needed to grow tf up. And I called her a whore). But there was something that now is a water divider. Amanda is black and has a afro hair, that's always in a Black Power style. and I'm not racist. Never been. I don't even know what happened in this specific moment, but I was so done with her attitude that I think maybe I lost my head a bit? Amanda was trying to play victim saying I was making this a big deal. My sister's friend (that was having my back the whole fight) threw in Amanda's face that she got gum stuck on my sister hair, and Amanda said "yes, and? What she [and proceeded to point at me] gonna do about that, huh? try to stick gum in my hair too?" and I said "I don't need the gum, a comb can do the work already. Can you even pet your head without losing your hand?"

For a moment is like everyone went silent.

And the in the next moment, Amanda was screaming her lungs in the hall, yelling "fuck you". And said "not so fun when somebody makes fun of your hair now, right bitch?". Anyway, the teaches broke up the fight, everyone went back to class (and gladly my sister went back to class with no problem, her friends had her back). Amanda got detention and the principal will have some serious talk with Amanda and her mom (that wasn't any happy about her daughter behaving like a bully). Like I said, that was two weeks ago. Everything went to normal but some people still talk about it. My friends say that I am right, but they're saying I should be more careful next because what I said was racist. I didn't even realised how bad that sounded until now, because when the fight was happening, I could only thinking about different ways I could jump in her throat. My other friend said that he thought it was good that I said that, because, racist or not, now the girl will think twice before hating someone's hair too. My teacher (one of the teachers that broke up the fight) said she was at my side, but that I should be more careful because I I ran the risk of losing my reason.

Now I'm seriously thinking, I'm feelling kind of guilty now. Was I the asshole or not? Saying that was a bad move, even if my intention was just making her taste her own medicine?

#aita #am i the asshole

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sunflowergirl522 · 2 years

Text

Pretty Boy

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Robin brings the boys to help move her cousin and you mistake Eddie for Steve at first.

Word Count: 1940

Eddie Masterlist

You’re Robin’s cousin and that means that you just have the best damn cousin anyone could ask for. She’s not just your cousin but also your best friend, the two of you have always been two peas in a pod. When either of you were visiting the other you were basically attached at the hip and you’d call each other almost every night and be on the phone until one of your parents told you to get off. So when your dad got offered a job a few states away he was worried how you would take it because you’d be so much farther away from her than just a thirty minute drive.

When he did tell you about the job offer your main worry was college. You knew you and Robin would still talk everyday but you were already enrolled in your current school and working towards your degree. You told him you could see if you could move to the dorms last minute but since he also went there he knew you wouldn’t be able to. So after a phone call to your mom's brother you were moving in with Robin and you couldn’t be happier.

Robin brings the boys with her to pick you up because Eddie’s van would come in handy in a way Steve’s BMW wouldn’t. And she really wanted you to meet Steve and vice versa. She’s told you all about pretty boy Steve Harrington and how he’s her best friend who isn’t related to her along with everything they’ve been through together. She was hoping to possibly play matchmaker because she’s tired of Steve pining after Nancy and you haven’t had a relationship since your ex broke your heart.

“Oh thank god!” Robin exclaims as they finally pull up in front of your house. “You know you two suck for road trips. Remind me to never do this again.” Eddie and Steve had basically been arguing about music the whole second half of the trip. “I mean seriously you couldn’t not be annoying with each other for a full thirty minutes.” Robin rushes out of the van and up to your front door as soon as Eddie opens the back doors for her. She basically vibrates with excitement as she makes it up the walkway. Her uncle opens the door shortly after she knocks.

“Hey Robin, Robin’s friends. Y/n’s up in her room finishing up packing if you wanna head up.”

“Thanks Uncle Jay. C’mon boys hurry up!”

“Robin!” You squeal and tackle her into a hug as soon as she opens your door.

“Hey there cuz.” She laughs as she returns the hug completely. “Are you ready to move in with your favorite person ever?”

“I can’t believe I get to live with you. I’m so excited to be able to hang out everyday. I’ve been packed for the last few days. Like I literally packed up everything but my bed stuff and some clothes three days ago and even then I’ve been slowly packing up my blankets and pillows. I slept with just one pillow and one of the couch blankets last night. But now everything is packed away and I’m ready to go.”

“Wow, she’s even got the Buckley ramble.” Steve’s voice brings your attention away from your cousin and to the two men standing in your doorway.

“Hi! I’m Y/n.” You walk up and offer your hand to Eddie. “You must be Steve. It’s great to finally meet you, Robins told me so much about you!”

“Apparently not enough darlin’. I’m Eddie, one of Robin’s newer friends.” And your face heats up at the mistake while Steve silently scoffs over someone thinking Eddie was him.

“So then you’re Steve?” You tilt your head as you look him up and down taking him all in. “I guess I see it.”

“See what?”

“Well I mean Robins always referring to you as Steve ‘the hair’ Harrinton or pretty boy Steve. And I get it, you’re pretty and all but honestly I think Eddie might just be the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. So he’s so much prettier than you, and he has a lot more hair so I just figured he was Steve.” At this Robin lets out the laugh she’s been holding in while Eddie’s face goes red and a smile appears on his face. He’ll never let Steve live this down.

“Sorry Steve, did I mention she doesn’t really have a filter?” She’ll have to throw out the idea of playing matchmaker with you and Steve now with how Eddie’s looking at you like you just lit up his whole world with that statement. But maybe she could play it with you two. “Alright grab some boxes and let's go dinguses.”

“So you’re the metal head then right?” You ask Eddie as the two of you make your way out of the house boxes stacked in your hands.

“Yeah, I guess that’d be me. Did Robin say anything about me?”

“Umm,” You start to try to think about what she would’ve told you about Eddie.

“It’s alright if she didn’t, we really haven’t been friends for that long.”

“No, no she did tell me some stuff. You’re in a band right? Oh what was it called? I remember telling her it was really cool.”

“Corroded coffin.” He answers while putting his boxes in the back of his van before taking the ones out of your arms.

“Yes! Robin told me she’d take me to a show the next time I was in town and you guys were playing. Let’s see what else did she say? That you play dungeons and dragons and the last time there were issues in the upside down you almost died because of the demobats right?”

“You know about the upside down?”

“Of course I do. Robin tells me everything.”

“And you believed her?”

“She’s never lied to me before.” You shrug nonchalantly before walking away from the van to get more stuff from your room and to get out of Robin and Steve’s way when you see them getting closer.

“So what kind of music do you listen to?” Eddie asks as he catches up to you.

“A little bit of everything I guess. My parents have very different music tastes so I grew up with a lot of different things so it’s just what I like now. Currently I listen to a lot of Metallica, Queen, and Dolly Parton.” Eddie groans as you say her name.

“Oh come on you were doing so good!” When you started with Metallica he thought you were a woman after his heart but ending with a country artist could’ve ruined it.

“Oh god don’t tell me you’re one of those metal heads.” You huff and roll your eyes picking up another box.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. One of those pretentious I only listen to metal or rock and anything else is disgusting. And if you listen to the stuff they listen to but also something different you’re automatically not a real fan.”

“I listen to other things! I just don’t think country music deserves all the hype it gets.” He’s quick to defend himself.

“Oh yeah? What else do you listen to? And have you ever listened to Dolly before?”

“Okay, don’t tell Steve because the fucker will tease me if he knew, but I listen to a lot of Abba. Like an unhealthy amount. And no, I just know the genre she is.”

“Well she’s the best.” You shrug before nudging him with your shoulder. “And Abba fucking rocks. I own every single one of their albums twice, once on vinyl and once as a cassette.”

“What could they be talking about this enthusiastically?” Steve asks Robin as the two of them come out of the house with the last of your boxes.

“Who knows.” She shrugs. “Could be music or movies or comics. Now that I think about it they have a lot of the same interests. Maybe I should’ve been hyping Eddie up instead of you.”

“You were hyping me up?”

“Tried to be your wingman, play matchmaker a bit maybe. That’s out the window though, look at them.” Eddie’s sitting in the back of his van, legs dangling off the edge as he leans back and watches you pace and talk with your hands about something Steve and Robin can’t hear from where they’re stopped. You both have smiles on your faces and the two friends can just tell by the look on Eddie’s face that he’s already smitten. “I haven’t seen Y/n take to a man like this in a while, she’s friendly sure but this is something different. And Eddie’s well, Eddie. I wouldn’t be able to take it if her falling for someone else broke his heart and I constantly had to look into those big broken puppy dog eyes all the time.”

“Well then let’s go play matchmaker Buckley.” Steve starts heading towards the van again with purpose.

“What are you planning Steve?”

“Just sit back and let the master work his magic.” Eddie hops up as Steve gets to the two of you so they can get the rest of the boxes in.

“Is that it Y/n?”

“Yeah that’s it Robs, I had packed up the rest into my car last night.”

“Hopefully there’s room for three people in your car because I can’t handle any more metal or Eddie yelling at me when I ask to listen to something else. And Robin’s obviously going with you.”

“What? You’re gonna drag me all the way out here to drive home alone? No offense darlin’.”

“None taken. Guys that’s sort of a dick move don’t you think? Eddie shouldn’t have to drive with all my shit by himself.”

“Sorry man but I’m all Eddied out.” Steve jabs Robin with his elbow to tell her to say something about it.

“Sorry Eds I’d go with you but the weed smell is really bothering me.”

“It’s not even that strong.”

“Robin’s always had a sensitivity when it came to scents.”

“Y/n why don’t you go with Eddie? I can drive your car that way Robin and I get a break from the van and Eddie doesn’t drive alone.” Steves normally an idiot but Robin has to admit this is kind of genius.

“I’m fine with that. Eddie, you good if I go with you?”

“I’m fine with that.”

“Okay cool. Let me go say bye and grab my keys and we can go.” You head inside and spend a solid twenty minutes saying goodbye to your parents and promising to come visit before they leave in a week and then to call them as much as possible after that. On your way out you yell a bye one more time while grabbing your keys from the holder and excitedly hurry to the trio waiting at the van. You toss your keys Steve’s way before climbing into the passenger seat. “Hurry up pretty boy I wanna get unpacked!” You yell out the window causing Eddie to blush and smirk Steve’s way as he passes him.

“You hear that Steve, I'm the pretty boy now.”

“God I’m starting to regret this already.” Steve says as he and Robin climb into your car. “He’s so damn smug.” Robin laughs at him while watching Eddie get into the driver's seat before looking over to find you shoving a tape into his stereo.

“If it helps Steve I think he’s starting to too. How much do you wanna bet he comes out of this drive liking Dolly Parton?”

Eddie Taglist: @starbxcks @phluffybunny-blog @sadbitchfangirl @notbeforelong @kenzi-woycehoski @celestialsxturn @daisyellsong @urmomashleyyy @ofherscarlettwitchways @munsonswhore86 @katsukis1wife @violet-19999 @navs-bhat @that-chick212 @dixontardis @bubsonnobx @ruinedbythehobbit @pikapickabitch @emotionaldreamer @kodakoalabear @chaoticevilbakugo @thatsamegirl @fromasgardandback @lupinpetersclearwaterodairparker @fangirl199812 @greenclues @isshecrazyorissheclever @rockchickrebel

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #eddie munson stranger things

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kimsohn · 8 months

Text

it takes 2 to mango

pairing . beomgyu x gn! reader (ft. yunjin of le sserafim) about . 12.2k words, fluff + angst warnings . cursing, a lot of food mentions, kissing, mentions of murder/dying (it's all jokes), y/n is in denial half the time (about beomgyu and mangoes), it took me like 2 months to write this so it may be all over the place i'm sorry in advance

synopsis . after your parents drop you off at your aunt's, leaving you with your whole life packed in bags, all you can do is wonder when you'll finally be able to get back to your old life. except, of course, when a brown-haired boy makes you wonder if staying here isn't so bad after all. note . literally after 2 years of delay and many plot changes it's finally here!! happy (late) birthday @urmelo, i told you i would write it and it's here (albeit two months late but wtv). also i literally wrote this whole thing based on this image but halfway through i realized he's sitting in a classroom so my whole broadcast idea was stupid 😞 and this is slightly inspired by all of us are dead and f4thailand! i stole the mango pun from google tagging . @invuwrld @tocupid @mmmsvnts @seung-scrittore

You have never loathed mangoes more than this moment.

It’s only been a couple of hours since your parents dropped you off at your aunt’s house, your whole life packed into suitcases and a Hello Kitty backpack you’ve owned since fifth grade, and you’re already sick of this situation. You don’t even understand your parents’ thought process, because who would even leave their whole life behind to start a mango supply business in Thailand, and you’re even angrier at your aunt for encouraging it. Now, you’re forced to leave behind the comfort of your old life and start anew in the four walls of your new house, miles away from your parents and old friends.

You even hate the stupid smile on your mom’s face when you agreed to their plan. At least you’ll be somewhat rich when your parents decide to come home, however long that might take (hopefully it’s within the next five minutes or so).

“Y/N, let me know if you want to paint your walls, okay? Your uncle loves interior design, so he’ll be happy to organize your room.”

In your old house, your walls were a bright, cheery yellow. Now they’re a boring beige, reminiscent of the hospital walls you’ve always hated. It’s okay though, because now yellow will remind you of mangoes, and you’re just about ready to hurl something at the mere thought of the fruit.

“It’s okay Auntie,” you respond, tracing your finger across the indents of the walls, “I kind of like the beige.”

Your cousin Yeonjun snickers from behind your aunt, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes. Yeonjun is definitely the type to hate beige because even his personality shines a bright red flag. Even now, he’s on his phone, probably flirting with (code word for annoying) some poor soul.

“Okay, honey. Yeonjun can help you finish unpacking, and then he can take you to school so you can find your classes. Tomorrow is your first day, after all, I don’t want you to get lost.”

With that, she closes the door behind you, leaving the two of you in your drab room with no personality. Instead of helping you unpack, Yeonjun sits on the chair in the corner, typing away with no care in his mind.

“I thought you were supposed to help?” you huff, though it’s not angrily.

Even though you and your cousin were friends, at first forcibly due to your family relations and later willingly because he’s actually quite interesting, you know that he won’t hesitate to note whatever he can to have leverage over you. Already, he’s taken a picture of your backpack, and if he helps you unpack, he’ll definitely find the shark plushie you brought for the sentiment. It’s not out of malice; it’s just the way your relationship is, however annoying it may be.

“Like you need my help,” he scoffs, crossing one leg over the other as a means to get comfortable, “just let me know when you’re done.”

You survey the mess of your belongings scattered across the bed. It’ll probably take hours, if not days, to sort out properly, and even you are itching to leave this stuffy room and get some fresh air. You’ve sorted out what you need for the next few days, so you might as well revisit this mess later.

“Actually, we can go now. I kind of need a break anyway.”

“Goody-two-shoes Y/N needs a break? Are you in your rebel era?” he jokes, but he opens the door and sticks a leg out, leaving it open for you to walk through.

You smack him on the shoulder as you walk to his car, sitting shotgun and itching to put your feet on the dash. You’re an average kid and you do average things, but you’re not in the mood to argue and correct your cousin.

“Just shut up and drive.”

You kind of wish you stayed at home because even mangoes wouldn’t survive in this environment.

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with your new school. It seems even more modern and spacious than your old one, and it has way more amenities than you could even imagine. You can see yourself fitting in here quite well, and since Yeonjun is popular, it’ll be easy to make friends.

The only problem is that the air conditioner isn’t working today, which means it’s extremely hot in the building. The hot sun outside paired with the lack of cool air means the whole building could resemble the Sahara Desert, and you wish you’d worn something more fitting for the weather, like the tank top Yeonjun has on right now (although, he seems to have other motives for wearing it). The sweat beads trickle down your forehead, and the only thing saving you right now is the popsicle your cousin was kind enough to buy for you. Unluckily, the gas station only had the mango flavor left.

“Yeonjun, are we done yet?” you ask, although it sounds more like a plea as you trudge along the hallways.

“Actually, no. We still have the science hallway, and the math hallway, and—”

A shrill noise fills the air, and you cover your ears shut and watch Yeonjun’s popsicle fall from his hands. Startled, the two of you find stability against the wall as the sound disappears and is replaced with crackling noises.

“Fuck, my popsicle!” Yeonjun exclaims, looking extremely disappointed as he grabs a tissue and cleans the mess up.

“Forget the popsicle, what was that? It’s a Sunday, who’s playing with the speakers?”

“It’s probably the media team preparing for the week’s announcements. Come, I’ll show you the broadcast studio.”

Yeonjun’s flip-flops squeak across the floor as you two walk, and in a matter of minutes, you reach a bright blue door next to the auditorium. Big block letters indicating which room it is are engraved on top, and Yeonjun knocks on the door repeatedly until it opens.

“I knew it was you,” a blue-haired boy answers, “you’re the only one annoying enough to knock that many times.”

“Hey! You should’ve answered faster.” Yeonjun protests as you giggle, glad you’re not the only one who finds your cousin annoying.

The boy pouts as he lets you two inside, and immediately you feel like you were cast into a recording studio. Shelves of CDs and books fill the sides, and behind the glass panel, a room full of microphones and levers peeks through. You feel like Radio Rebel in her bedroom, only intensified, and as you check out the large computer screens that line the walls, you find yourself imagining sitting in the center and being a part of whatever goes on behind the scenes here.

Your eyes cross over a brown-haired boy sitting at the table, headphones covering his plush hair and a teal highlighter in his hand. He’s looking down at a piece of paper, probably a script, and unknowingly you’re leaning forward to get a better look at his face before Yeonjun taps your shoulder and you straighten yourself.

“Y/N, this is Soobin,” Yeonjun gestures to the blue-haired boy, “and that over there is Beomgyu,” he continues, pointing to the boy at the desk.

Soobin smiles warmly, shaking your hand awkwardly as if this was a courthouse and not a classroom, but your eyes are more focused on Beomgyu. They’re focused on the way he taps the highlighter on his lips when he’s deep in thought, or when he adjusts his headphones when he’s satisfied with something. Yeonjun moves to interrupt him, probably to introduce you, but you hold him back so he can continue his work.

“Are you interested in joining?” Soobin asks, handing you a flyer, “we could always use more people.”

“I’m not that much of a speaker,” you respond, taking the handout anyway.

“You don’t need to be. We do more here than just talk, you know?”

As Soobin waves you goodbye, you take one last glance at the room, particularly Beomgyu, before you step out. You don’t know for sure whether you’ll join the club or not, but you have a feeling that you’ll be seeing him around pretty soon.

You might hate your alarm clock more than you hate mangoes, but at least it’s useful.

It’s the first day at your new school, but you’re not really jumping for joy. School is school wherever you go, and you don’t really feel the excitement or jitters someone would usually feel after transferring. You’re just about ready to pass through the rest of the year as smoothly as possible and hopefully not gain unwanted attention as the resident new kid. You’re already suffering enough by joining after a whole semester; you don’t need to bring any more trouble to yourself.

“Y/N, are you ready?” Yeonjun yells from outside the house, revving the accelerator so you can hear his annoyance.

“Coming!” you yell back, grabbing your bag and rushing out the door, holding a half-eaten piece of toast and a glass of orange juice.

Yeonjun likes to go to school a little early so he can talk to his friends, but this was a fact you didn’t know until five minutes ago. In an ideal situation, you wouldn’t have been rushing on your first day, but your cousin never makes things easy for you. At least he didn’t drive off without you.

Yeonjun attempts to lecture you about your lateness in the car, but you tell him to pay attention to the road and stuff the toast in your mouth. One thing you won’t let your cousin disturb you about is food, so you’re glad he calms down and lets you enjoy a peaceful ride to school.

You’re finishing your orange juice as he pulls into the student parking lot. He has a spot reserved for him, apparently, and the fact seems to be true as he parks in the space with “YEONJUN” decorated in bright red spray-paint letters. He puts on sunglasses as he exits the car, and you’re extremely glad he doesn’t have fans swooning over him in front of his car because you don’t know how much more you can take. Who does he think he is?

Thankfully, the air conditioner seems to be working this time around because as soon as you enter through the front doors, a blast of cool air hits you in the face. It’s only January, but the sun outside doesn’t seem to be taking a break this week, so you’re grateful for the human wonder that is A/C. Yesterday’s empty halls are now filled with students, and already Yeonjun is dragging you off to introduce you to some new people. You’re just glad he has pink hair because otherwise, you would’ve lost him.

By the time you reach your first class, your mind is riddled with names of people you’ll probably never talk to again. You’ve met at least three Jaehyuns, a Yunjin and a Yujin and another Han Yujin, two Jisungs, and many more students you definitely won’t remember. If you were on your own, it would’ve taken you a whole year to talk to this many people, but with a semi-superstar by your side, it only took ten minutes. You’re just glad your presence seems to be well-received.

Your first class is math, and already you find yourself falling asleep. A stack of books finds its way onto your desk, a textbook for everything you could need, and you can foresee yourself sleeping in to skip this terrible class. The only good sight about this class is Mr. Kim, who’s nice and tries to be entertaining, but there are only so many ways you can make numbers and formulas fun. At least the girl sitting in front of you, Yunjin from earlier, helps you pass the time by doodling her number on the margins of your notebook.

Bored and half asleep, you trudge your way to your second class, history. You’re grateful your cousin helped you find your way across the school yesterday, because your class is across the school in a corner you wouldn’t have even known existed. Unlucky for you, Mrs. Jung isn’t as nice or entertaining as Mr. Kim, but just before you can succumb to slumber, the intercom buzzes.

The morning announcements play, but instead of Soobin’s voice, you hear someone unfamiliar.

“Hey everyone, happy Monday! It’s the beginning of the week, which means we have a long road ahead, but I believe in each and every one of you to get through it. We’re only a couple of weeks from break, which is an exciting thought to look forward to…”

You realize halfway through that the voice is Beomgyu’s, and you don’t know what it is about his voice, but it seems to be perfect for starting off the announcements. He seems to be tasked with maybe a desperate attempt to cheer up the student body on a dreary Monday, but they seem to be doing the job because you feel much lighter than before the announcements. Others seem to feel the same way too, because the atmosphere in the once stale, cornered history classroom is now bright and jolly. You honestly wish you had listened to the full script he had prepared, but either because of your previous fascination or his soft, honeylike voice, you find it hard not to be lulled to dreamland.

After, he's followed by Soobin, who talks about the daily updates and the weather, and you wonder how he manages to sound so upbeat and cheery this early in the morning. He then passes the mic to a boy named Taehyun, who voices important announcements and leads the school pledge before the mic crackles off.

You can’t stop thinking about Beomgyu for the rest of the class period, so when he slides into the empty seat next to you halfway through the lesson, you think you must be imagining things. It’s like he’s glowing, as if a dreamy filter spans across his face. You stare at him until he stares back and raises an eyebrow, a quirk to show his feelings of confusion. He throws a rolled-up piece of paper at you, and when you catch it, you realize he’s very much real.

Bit by bit, you unfold the paper, and in scratchy handwriting, he’s written ‘Am I that interesting?’ in all caps. Your face feels like it’s on fire, and you tuck the paper in between the crease of your notebook, filled with doodles of Beomgyu’s name. You quickly shut it, hoping he didn’t see it, and avoid his gaze for the rest of the period.

Unluckily for you, fate doesn’t seem to be on your side because as soon as the bell rings, Beomgyu is reaching out to grab your elbow. You think you’re utterly and absolutely fucked, and you’re even more mortified when he links elbows with you and leads you out of the classroom.

“What’s your next class?” he prods, and you only answer after he asks a second time because you’re too embarrassed to register anything.

“English, with Mr. Yoon. Look, I’m sorry about before, I thought I was dreaming—”

“Dreaming? Are you in love with me or something?” he asks, and even though the question is accusatory, his smooth voice makes it sound like music to your ears.

“No!” you exclaim, a little too loudly that you have to apologize to the teachers standing in the hallway before continuing, “Look, I was falling asleep in Mrs. Jung’s class, okay? Since the seat next to me was empty beforehand, I thought you were a random daydream that I was making up to distract myself. I genuinely didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with my staring or anything, I just didn’t know you were real until you threw that ball at me.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” he responds, his features softening at your explanation, “her class is pretty boring anyway. You’re new here, right? Yeonjun’s cousin? I’m Beomgyu.”

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. You’re a little weird, you know that?” he remarks, laughing as he walks you to class.

You look down at your linked elbows and his goofy skipping. His observance is contradictory, but somehow, his weirdness is a little endearing to refute.

“Yeah, but you’re a little weird too. We cancel each other out, I guess.”

As soon as you step into the production room, you’re cast with the smell of mangoes. Seriously, those damned fruits seem to be following you, and you can never seem to escape them.

“Y/N! Hi! Welcome!” Soobin greets, ushering you into the room and grabbing you a seat, “We’re so happy to have you.”

It’s the next Thursday, a week after the dreaded daydream incident, and you’ve decided to show up to the broadcast meetings. You’ve been toying with the idea of joining ever since you walked into the room on Sunday, but it was Beomgyu’s insistence yesterday that really pushed you over the cliff of uncertainty.

“We have a lot of fun there. You don’t even have to speak on the morning announcements to be a part of it! We do much more than that, like run the newspaper and manage the yearbook. There’s a place for everyone, Y/N, you won’t regret joining.”

Even now, he waves warmly from the seat next to you. You’ve been talking frequently these days, partially because he’s in quite a few of your classes and partially because he’s part of a group chat Yeonjun added you to. He’s interesting to talk to and he always makes you laugh, and being around him makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Like your initial observance, he’s a little weird and goofy too, but it makes him all the more delightful.

You’re not crushing on him, of course. He’s a nice person to pass the time with during and after school. Besides, your friends at home are much better; he’s just a placeholder.

“Have some cake, Y/N!” Soobin insists, pushing a plate toward you, “It’s mango flavored!”

You smile hesitantly as you pick up the spoon and take a bite. It tastes good and you hate admitting it because mango is a good flavor; you just don’t like being reminded of the sentiment that comes along with it. You gaslight yourself into thinking it’s strawberry and finish the plate quickly, downing your water bottle straight after.

“Was it good?” Beomgyu asks, his voice a little hard to hear due to the conversations of next week’s script being tossed around behind him, “I got it from a bakery near my house. We actually have a snack at every club meeting, and this week was my turn to bring it.”

“Yeah, it was good. I’m just not really fond of mango,” you respond, already cringing at the words coming out of your mouth.

“You don’t like mango? Who doesn’t like mango?” Beomgyu voices, responding exactly how you expected him to.

“Me. I just don’t.”

Beomgyu drops the topic at your insistence and talks about the club instead, introducing you to some of the members. Taehyun, the boy from the announcements, is president, and Soobin is vice president. You learn that Beomgyu does a little bit of everything, and you try not to smile as he blushes when his friends list out his talents.

“Is Yeonjun not part of the club?” you ask after he’s introduced you to one of the many Jaehyuns part of the management team, “you guys seem to be good friends.”

“He was initially, but he has modeling lessons on Thursday so he can’t make it. He’s more like an honorary member, to be honest, but he helps us out a lot.”

You hum in agreement, meeting another Jaehyun (why are they all so attractive?) and rounding the corner to talk to Taehyun.

“I’ll leave you with Tae. He’ll help you figure out which team you’re best suited for.”

Taehyun pulls out a chair for you as Beomgyu walks away, and you can immediately see why he’s president. He’s a little reserved but he’s domineering, and he seems perfect for managing things behind and in front of the scenes.

“So, Y/N, did you have anything in mind when you were joining?”

“No, not really. I’m not very talkative though, and I don’t know how to handle a camera.”

“Yeah, Beomgyu also mentioned those things. I think you’ll be a good fit for the newspaper, based on first impression. Editors mostly work on the scripts and I think you’ll find it interesting. Come, I’ll introduce you to the head.”

He introduces you to Yunjin, the girl from your math class, and she helps you get the editing software and drive set up. Yunjin tells you that she’s the type of person who has a lot to say, and writing is a powerful outlet for her because it allows her to explore topics she’s passionate about. You don’t exactly know if you relate to her thought process, but it does make you feel a little excited.

“Is Beomgyu also part of the editing team?” you ask, mainly out of curiosity because you saw him revising the script on Sunday.

“Ah, kind of. He floats around between everything so I guess I could say that he is. Would you like to read some of his work?” she asks, pulling out a newspaper article from a stack in the corner, “Last issue, he wrote the front page spread dissing the school lunch menu. It might seem silly, but it was actually a huge hit, and honestly, the food has even gotten better since.”

You skim through the newspaper, and the interactive, colorful parts draw your gaze in. Elements like the pie chart, bolded words, and quotes make the article worth reading, and you can already tell from skimming the text that Beomgyu is a good writer. You flip through the rest, reading the story headlines and noting that some are serious, some are current, and some are merely just for entertainment. Even throughout the rest of the spreads, you can tell the writers put effort into making sure the newspaper is actually catered to the student population, and you can already imagine yourself publishing an issue of your own in the near future.

“Since you’re new, you can help Beomgyu out with his new piece. Let’s take things slow, okay?”

You nod, turning to face Beomgyu. You don’t know what’s going on in that fascinating mind of his, but you’re excited to find out.

It’s been a busy few weeks since you’ve moved here. Unfortunately, school doesn’t slow down time for you, so you’ve had to handle piles of schoolwork on top of adjusting to your new environment, at school, and at home. Your aunt, for one, is double the amount of hyper your parents were, and it’s taken you a while to get adjusted to her presence. At least you’ve had Yeonjun to help you out.

The one thing that you’ve actually looked forward to at school is the broadcast club. Taehyun was right about you fitting the editor role, and you’ve grown to fit in quite well with the other members. Mainly, however, you spend most of your time with Beomgyu, often looking over his shoulder and bouncing off ideas he has and grammatical errors he needs to fix. The issue is a little satirical, making it fun to read, and you’ve enjoyed helping him out because he actually values your input and your experiences.

It's the reason why he invited you to come to school on Sunday. He thought working in a quieter environment would help you two brainstorm better, and you agreed. You’ve been busy all week working on collecting student opinions for him, and today, he hopes you two can get a significant portion of the article complete.

Unlike the first Sunday you were here, the air conditioning is actually on now, but you still feel a little sweat prickling at the top of your forehead. You’re nervous because this is the first time you’ve actually been alone with Beomgyu, without anyone else nearby to mitigate your nerves. You’re scared about screwing up in front of him, or even worse, floating off into dreamland, but hopefully, you’ll be able to concentrate on your work and keep your thoughts at bay. If anything goes wrong, you can just blame it on his sweet voice.

You’re at least thankful Yeonjun hasn’t caught wind of how you two met, because he would never stop holding it over your head.

You knock three times on the blue door and Beomgyu pulls it open, wearing a bright grin on his face. He’s in a hoodie and sweats, a little bit more casual than his school attire, but somehow it just makes him more attractive. Combined with his dimples, he resembles a teddy bear, and you’re honestly surprised he hasn’t joined the modeling industry like your cousin. He’d make so much money as a loungewear model, you just know it.

“Hey, come in! I just got here, so I’ve been working on some scripts for the next week. You can get your stuff sorted while I finish.”

You nod, pulling the papers out of your bag and opening your laptop. Your mission for the week was to interview students regarding the article. You don’t know if he’ll like them, but hopefully, you’ve got some good anecdotes for Beomgyu to include in his writing.

Or, apparently not.

“Beomgyu.”

“Hmm?” he asks, looking up from his paper.

“I accidentally grabbed Yeonjun’s bag. I left the data at home, I’m so, so sorry. I can’t believe how stupid I am; how could I even forget something this important?”

“Hey, Y/N,”

“I just knew something was going to go wrong today, and I was so scared I was going to fuck things up and I did, and—”

“Y/N!”

You stop in your tracks, eyes wide and close to tears. You’re usually not this sensitive at all, but this means a lot to you, working with Beomgyu means a lot to you, and you don’t want to lose all of this over your stupidity and inattentiveness. However, Beomgyu looks far from angry, and he has his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them to calm you down.

“It’s okay. You’re all good. We have so much more time until the deadline, so don’t beat yourself up, okay? We can just hang out and have fun. Look, I even brought you some mochi from the corner store!”

He shows you the packet, and the bright yellow color is enough to have you burst into tears.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks, looking at the packet, “it’s mango flavored. Oh! You don’t like mango. I’m so sorry, it slipped my mind. Forgive me?”

You sniffle, bringing him into a hug. The mochi wrapper crinkles between you as you put your head on his shoulder, clutching onto him as a means to calm you down. Beomgyu stills for a moment, probably out of shock before patting your back, albeit awkwardly yet reassuring.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “I didn’t mean to have a breakdown like that. I just didn’t want you to hate me. And I’ll eat the mango mochi, don’t worry.”

“I could never hate you, Y/N.”

“You’ve only known me for a couple of weeks; how could you say that?”

“Because even in the short time I’ve known you, I can tell how much of an amazing person you are. You’re bright and talented, and I love spending time with you, so stop apologizing, okay? It was just an accident.”

“Okay, I will,” you whisper, stepping back, “So, what now?”

“We could finish the mochi, for starters.”

You nod as you open the wrapper and take a bite. It’s tasty, so much so that you hate it, and you’re honestly five seconds away from letting go of your stupid grudge just to enjoy some fresh mango. However, your parents have plagued you enough with the fruit on their phone calls, which seems to hold your desires back well enough.

You stand to your feet as Beomgyu beckons you to follow him, wanting to show you something. He lets you in through the small door leading to the glass panel room, and you’re immediately illuminated by the huge screens around you. So much technology surrounds you, from microphones to switches to headphones, but you’re more intrigued by the feedback noise that emits once Beomgyu twists a knob, similar to the one you heard when you first got here.

“Does it usually make that noise when you turn it on?” you ask, walking around the room.

“Yeah, it’s a little bit annoying. That’s why we have to keep it turned on before school starts.”

“I figured. I heard it when I came here with Yeonjun before my first day.”

Beomgyu turns to you with an expression of mild surprise.

“I think Soobin and I were here that day. You should’ve visited us.”

“We did. We talked to Soobin, but you were working on something so we didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Is that why you thought I was in your daydream the day after?”

You feel like you’re on fire, and you look away from him. You didn’t expect Beomgyu to be this perceptive, but it was probably your fault for walking straight into this.

“Umm. Yeah, kind of. It’s embarrassing,” you say, covering your face with your palms.

“It’s not,” he responds, tapping your shoulder, “it’s actually kind of cute. Now that you’re in this room with me again, will I be in another one of your daydreams? I loved feeling like a celebrity.”

You mentally shrivel in humiliation, cringing when he lets out a laugh. If Yeonjun is a tease, then Beomgyu is most definitely a menace.

You are extremely close to falling asleep.

Currently, you’re sunbathing on one of Yunjin’s many beach chairs. They’re colorful and the sun shines ever so gently on your face, so the setting is perfect for you to take a nap. Too bad you’re at a pool party and not in your backyard, and Yunjin just might murder you if you drift off to dreamland after all the hard work you’d put into setting things up.

It’s spring break, which means one whole week of warm sun rays and well-needed rest. The newest issue of the magazine was published yesterday, and particularly this time around, it seemed to be quite popular amongst the student population. The group decided to throw a party to celebrate all the hard work that’s gone into publishing, and what other location would it be at than Yunjin’s gigantic mansion?

You’re particularly proud of Beomgyu’s hard work because his spread was absolutely stunning, but he merely brushed it off and thanked you for helping him when you thanked him earlier. He can be calm and graceful like that at times, like a soft breeze. Now, however, you turn to your side to see him sipping a mocktail on the chair next to you, donned in sunglasses and shark-decorated swim shorts, the farthest thing from serene.

“What flavor is that?” you ask, your voice tinged with sleep, “Actually, never mind. It’s probably mango.”

He laughs, and it’s so, so pretty. If you had to pick one sound to hear for the rest of your life, you’d take your chances on that.

“It is, but it’s kind of watery. I’m gonna save it for later though,” he starts, turning to face the pool and pointing at Taehyun.

“What about him?” you ask, craning your head to see him lounging in the pool with a duck floatie.

“If I cannonball into the pool, just how drenched do you think he’ll be?”

Your cries are practically unheard as you watch Beomgyu jump into the pool, absolutely obliterating not only Taehyun but also poor, unsuspecting Soobin next to him. Ten minutes later, after receiving a well-deserved scolding from Taehyun and issuing apologies, Beomgyu slogs his way back to the chair on your left with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“That was definitely worth it.”

“It definitely was not,” you counter, sitting up and leaning against the back, “you’re literally such a nuisance. If I had known you were this terrible, I would not have become friends with you.”

“I mean, you technically didn’t choose. You can’t really help who you daydream about, right?”

You’re glaring daggers into him, but he’s cruel enough to still find the situation funny. You can’t believe he’s trying to hold back laughter even in this situation, but you probably shouldn’t have expected any better. Seriously, how did he go from the sweet-talker broadcast boy to the literal devil?

“Watch your words, or I will slice you up as I did to all the mangoes in Fruit Ninja last week.”

“Woah, chill,” he starts, putting his sunglasses back on and taking a sip of his watery mocktail, “why do you even hate mangoes? You talk about them as if they were your exes.”

“My parents left me here to start a mango business in Thailand,” you say, picking at the skin next to your thumbnail and wincing when it hurts.

Beomgyu spits out his drink in alarm, but you kind of saw it coming. You’ve noticed that he tends to exaggerate things a lot, but you guess it’s just part of his personality.

“Wow, that genuinely sucks. I’m really sorry; I shouldn’t have prodded.”

“It’s okay. I don’t tell people because it’s only temporary. I might not even be here next year.”

Two months ago, you would’ve been happy at the thought. Now, however, even mentioning it brings a pang of sadness to your chest. You’ve known your time here was momentary all along, so why do you feel guilty?

“Are you happy?” he says, his voice a lot quieter now, “I mean, would you want to stay here or go back?”

You want to tell him what you think is logical, and logically, your old home was much better than here. You practically grew up there, and the place suits you so well that you’re meant to be there. However, the words that rush out of your heart speak differently.

“I honestly don’t know. I like it here, but I like it there too. I’ll just enjoy my time here before I leave. I still have a while anyway.”

Beomgyu flips to the other side, away from your gaze before he speaks. If you weren’t listening carefully, you might’ve not been able to hear his words.

“I don’t want you to leave. I like it when you’re here.”

He sounds so soft and clingy that it almost makes you cry. Instantly, you know that no one has ever cared enough to share the same sentiment back at your old house.

Home. You should’ve called it home, but it doesn’t feel right anymore. You used to think that home was a physical feeling, a place where you were raised and nurtured. Home before was the walls of the building you spend the most time in, but now, it feels a little different.

No, home isn’t your old house. It isn’t your new house either, even if the beige has grown quite well to your liking. Home is sitting here on this beach chair, surrounded by your closest friends, and the feelings of warmth that surround you all. Home is an emotion, something you’ve never felt in the past years of your life until you moved here. Home is being surrounded by people who want you, just because you’re you and not because it would be convenient.

“I like being here too,” you whisper back, and although he has his back turned to you, you can still feel his smile.

“Then just tell your parents you want to stay here.”

You can’t tell him that your mindset has made you feel that this is all temporary. Ever since you moved here, you’ve felt like a ticking bomb, waiting for a single phone call to determine your fate. Once, you would’ve been able to answer that it’s where you belong. Now, you seem to question if it’s merely just an obligation.

“It’s not that simple, Beomgyu.”

He sighs, and as he turns back around to face you, you drape an arm over your eyes. You don’t want to feel the intensity of his glare, but even without your vision, you feel his eyes shooting daggers into your abdomen. If only life were as easy as being able to sense Beomgyu’s responses, for you would’ve been sipping margaritas on some island with your talents.

“Isn’t it? Or maybe, just maybe, you’re overcomplicating it.”

You sigh, unwilling to answer, and the conversation falls to a standstill. You hate thinking, especially about this, but eventually, Beomgyu’s words are going to catch up to you. Whatever the implications of this conversation are, you’re sure you won’t enjoy them.

Not one bit.

You’re walking home with Beomgyu a couple of days after break has ended, an unfamiliar scene for you. Usually, Yeonjun drives you home in his shiny car, but he had to stay back for some tutoring today and you were left ride-less. Thankfully, Beomgyu swooped in to save the day, saying he’d keep you company since he knew the route. You’d accepted quite freely, definitely because you didn’t want to rely on Google Maps and not because you liked spending time with him.

Spring is in full season, which means the walk home is filled with greenery and a lush breeze. You feel like something out of a Studio Ghibli movie, but as you turn to look at Beomgyu, you realize he’s more aptly fitted for the scenario.

His hair is fluttering slightly through the wind, and his side profile is so perfect that only an animation artist could’ve crafted it. Beautiful is the only word to describe him, and each glance you take becomes increasingly hard to look away from.

You like him. It’s not a realization that’s come from this moment, but rather a million moments beforehand. Whenever you try to pinpoint an exact moment, your mind runs blank, as if you were pre-programmed to have him in your heart since the beginning of your existence. You’d just been so immersed in convincing yourself that you didn’t that you never really accepted you did.

“Y/N,” you hear from his lips, “are you going to the spring dance?”

The spring dance is next week, and it’s all everyone has been talking about lately, especially Yunjin. Honestly, if the Jung Jaehyun asked you out (yes, you can finally differentiate between the multiple Jaehyuns), you wouldn’t shut up about it either, but you don’t have any interest in it otherwise. The only updates you hear are when you don’t tone out Yunjin in math (there’s only so much you can hear about his features), and you’re growing quite sick of the talk.

Mainly though, you’re just annoyed you have to go without a date. A certain someone always pops up in your mind when you think about the event, but you’re too shy to ask and he seems to be preoccupied with other things. Even if it’s going just as friends, you’d take the chance, but it doesn’t seem in your cards for the near future.

“Yeonjun is forcing me to. I’d much rather spend my Friday nights with a show, but it is what it is.”

“Oh, come on!” he protests, shaking his head, “it’s always super fun. You won’t regret coming.”

“I guess, but I don’t really know who to go with. Yeonjun has a date, and I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

Beomgyu fishes something out of his pockets and holds it out to you. Upon closer inspection, you realize it’s a rectangular mango drink, and you raise an eyebrow.

“I know, I know, but it’s still driving me crazy that you hate mango. I want to be the person that changes your opinion on it, okay? Whenever you think of mango, don’t think of your parents, think of me!”

You roll your eyes as you grab the drink and punch the straw in. You don’t want to admit it, but the gesture is sweet, and already your negative thinking is rewriting itself to include positive memories with Beomgyu.

“Whatever,” you say, attempting to take a sip out of the straw only to find it stuck, “is there something wrong with your straw? Mine isn’t working.”

“No, there isn’t,” he replies, confusion settling across his face, “is it blocked? There might be something inside.”

Sure enough, you peek through the hole to see something white stuck in the straw, and you try your hardest to pull it out with your fingers. The texture is a little rough and thin, almost paper-like, but sadly you fail to get it out.

“Can you actually not get it out?” he asks, looking worried.

“Yeah, but it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll just get another straw after I get home.”

“This cannot be happening right now.” he mutters, grabbing it from you and trying his hardest to squeeze out the object, “Of course I fucked this up.”

“Beomgyu, it’s okay. Relax. It’s not that big of a deal,” you respond, trying to calm him down after seeing him get this worked up, “it’s just a drink.”

“But it’s not! Ugh,” he says, frustrated as he pulls out his phone, “you were supposed to be able to pull out the paper.”

“What are you talking about?”

He passes over his phone to you, and there’s a picture of a small piece of paper on it. When you zoom in to get a better look at the writing on it, you gasp.

“It takes two to mango, so will you be my partner?” you read out loud, looking at Beomgyu.

He smiles awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders.

“You’re asking me to be your date for the dance? Oh my god, yes!”

You hug him tightly, pressing your head into the crook of his shoulder. You don’t know if his intentions behind this are friendly or romantic, but the mere thought of being together, even just for a night, has you reeling. You feel so, so giddy as if you’re already on the dance floor and swaying in his arms.

You feel him sigh in relief, hugging you back.

“I’m so sorry I fucked up everything. It was supposed to be super cute—”

“Don’t worry about it. Even if you just asked me the question, I would’ve been happy. It was so creative though; how’d you come up with it?”

“I, um. I searched it up,” he replies, and you hear the bashfulness in his voice, “I just wanted it to be meaningful enough to us. I know that it’s unoriginal, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Even just you researching to find something this creative is meaningful to me.” you answer honestly, “I’m saving that straw forever, I swear.”

He laughs, and you feel his chest vibrate against you. It’s a comforting feeling, one you’ll hopefully experience at the dance next week.

“I’m so excited. I can’t wait,” he whispers, pulling you in a little tighter.

“Yeah,” you whisper back, holding onto him, “Me too.”

The dance is a little lame, but being here with Beomgyu makes it worthwhile.

Seriously, if you’d come alone, you probably would’ve ended up sitting in the corner and munching on the brownies (they’re actually tasty, you can’t even deny it). However, Beomgyu has made it his personal mission for you to have fun, which is why he pulls you onto the dance floor to vibe with the beat of the song.

“This is so high school,” you mutter, feigning annoyance, “what song even is this?”

“I think it’s ‘Good Boy Gone Bad’ by TXT.”

“I’ve never heard of them.”

“Who cares? Stop being a downer and let loose a little.”

Contrary to your dislike, you do end up dancing. The song has a peppy beat and the two of you lose yourself in it, but even as you forget all of what occupies your brain, Beomgyu still remains in your head.

You’ll never forget the sparkling expression on his face when he saw your outfit as he picked you up from your house or the way he turned up your favorite song as you sped along to the venue. You would pay a million dollars just to relive that moment again, laughing at each other’s singing and enjoying each other’s company, but you realize that you don’t need to experience past moments with Beomgyu when he constantly makes better memories with you. With Beomgyu, you like living in the present, and he makes you forget about special days in the past you had coined as ‘the best day ever’ because nothing could compare to the feeling of being by his side like this.

The song ends, leaving you all woozy and excited, but the feelings quickly shift away when a much slower beat starts playing. You don’t even have to ask for the song name, because Beomgyu is already whispering it into your ear.

“’Fairy of Shampoo’ by the same artist. They’re pretty good, right?”

You move to nod, but the action is long forgotten as Beomgyu wraps his arms around your waist. He’s staring you in the eyes, a silent request for permission, and your response is wrapping your arms around his neck in a similar manner. You sway, and Beomgyu follows your lead, but this time around, the only thing you’re losing yourself in is his eyes.

The soft, angelic singing and chatter around you are muffled as if everyone in the room has disappeared except you and Beomgyu. You’re in a trance, with the perfect feeling of his arms around you as if they were always meant to be there. It’s so easy to will yourself away from everything to focus his gaze that you should be concerned, but one look at his eyes can confirm he’s in the same boat.

Maybe friends can ask each other out to dances. Maybe friends can slow-dance together. However, you find it hard to believe friends can look each other like this in the eyes and pretend they don’t feel anything.

Before you know it, the air grows hazy, and the only thing that makes your vision clearer is leaning in closer to Beomgyu. Or maybe that’s what’s making you crazy in the first place, but you don’t care because you’re trapped in the magnetic pull he emits that drives you closer, and closer, and closer. You’re close enough to notice the small moles on his cheek and the faint cologne he wears that smells like jasmine. You can’t even tell if you’re moving anymore because the only action you’re focused on is the fluttering of his eyelashes and the pursing of his lips.

It takes your brain a while to register what he says next because his voice is husky enough to be covered by the music, but the mere fact that his voice dropped three octaves has your mind spinning.

“Do you want this as badly as I do?”

Your throat is so parched you can’t even speak, but you don’t need words to imply what you want. You nod, the tiniest nod that if he wasn’t so focused, he wouldn’t have seen it, but his eyes are solely on you and that’s enough confirmation for him. The last thing you see is him leaning dangerously close before your eyes flutter shut, but the moment is ruined as your phone rings from your pocket and startles you both.

You fumble with the device as he clears his throat, leaning back, and with wide eyes, you see that it’s your mother calling. You’re cursing her mentally for calling at the worst possible time, but one look at Beomgyu has him motioning you off the dance floor.

“Take it; it’s probably important. I’ll be right here.”

You smile tightly before rushing off the dance floor, finding a place near the entrance that’s much quieter than the center. From this position, you have a straight view of Beomgyu in the middle, but you’re blocked by a sea of people surrounding him. It reminds you just how many obstacles you have between each other, and you mentally berate yourself for being so careless and almost kissing him before answering the phone.

“Hello? Mom?”

“Oh honey, hi! Your Auntie told me you were at some school dance, are you having fun?”

“I am,” you whisper back, just now realizing how much you miss your parents sending you off to these dances, “but I miss you a lot.”

“Actually, I called you about that!”

“What do you mean?”

“Our business here is doing so well that another company wants to buy us and give us a huge amount of shares. This means we can move back home and still make a profit!”

Your mom goes on about the logistics, but all you hear is white noise ringing through your ears. You knew this moment would creep up on you, but you just didn’t expect it so suddenly, especially after sharing such an intimate moment with Beomgyu. God, Beomgyu. How can you even begin to tell him?

“Mom, I have to go.”

“Of course, you must be busy! I’ll call you later, okay?”

Your fingers shake as you cut the call, tears brimming at the corner of your eyes. The room feels hazy once again, but this time, it feels suffocating. Your cheeks feel hot and you have no idea what to do, and all you can feel is Beomgyu’s gaze staring at you from across the room, boring into your eyes. All you can think is that he knows, and he hates you, and he’s going to feel so betrayed—

“Y/N? Are you okay?” you hear, and Yeonjun steps in front of you, blocking the connection between you and your crush.

“I- I need to go home. Please.”

You’re glad Yeonjun knows when to not be a nuisance, because all he does is nod wordlessly and clasp your palm, leading you to the car. You’re thankful that your cousin is actually a nice person deep down because he’s ditching his date and dropping his many it-boy moments just to take you home and let you cry on his shoulder. You try so, so hard not to look back because you know you’ll break down, but you can’t help what your heart wants. As you turn and make eye contact with Beomgyu, you see his confused and betrayed expression as he pushes past the people on the dance floor, but the crowd is too large, and he’s stuck between the masses. It’s bitter how these people once reminded you of obstacles, and now they’re exactly that, but you’re thankful because you’re sure you won’t be able to stop the tears if he talks to you right now.

As Yeonjun whisks you away in the dreary night, all you can hope is that Beomgyu remembers only the good moments between you, and not the worst. Maybe one day, just one, you hope he’ll forgive you, even though you know that you’ll never forgive yourself.

You have no heart to even attempt the history homework sitting on your desk.

It’s only been a week, but you feel like you went through five years of trauma from it alone. If it weren’t for Yeonjun, you would’ve locked yourself in your room the whole week and finished a bucket of ice cream. Instead, you showed up to class every day, draped in an oversized hoodie and making no means of eye contact with anyone. Any time you encountered Beomgyu, you tried your hardest to avoid it, even going as far as bargaining with your teacher to switch seats in history.

The only person you even talked to this week was your cousin. He was the only person you could confide in, probably because he was the only one who truly understood your current predicament. It’s silly, depending so much on the person who could use this as blackmail at any moment, but you have to say you’re a little grateful for him dragging you to school in the morning instead of leaving you to allow in the four walls of your bedroom.

However, even the motivation from Yeonjun can’t stop your bleeding heart. You feel like you’re going through hell and back, and with exams coming up your mind just isn’t in the right place. How long are you going to keep your homework sheets sitting on your table void of pencil markings? Even the mere act of reading the instructions has you tired, and all you can do is rest your head against the table and try not to let your thoughts drift off.

Even this homework reminds you of him. It reminds you of how you would goof off during your lectures, texting each other through the crevices of your desk, or how you would sit for long hours in the library and attempt to study, kicking each other’s feet beneath the table. Even now, you can hear him knocking on the door, asking you to open up and talk.

“Y/N, it’s Beomgyu!”

Okay, maybe that part isn’t your imagination.

Why is he even here? What business would he even want with you after you’ve wronged him so much? Your mind has no idea, but the only thing you’re listening to is your heart as you pull open the door and take in his presence.

He looks beautiful, like always. His existence is something that you want to cuddle into a ball and put in your pocket, yours to keep and cherish forever because he is simply the word soft personified. Today, however, he sports dark circles under his eyes and a paler shade of skin. What has made your teddy bear so sad? Is it your doing?

“Hi,” you whisper, and your hands itch to reach out and wrap him in a tight hug.

“Yeonjun told me what happened. I wanted to give you some space, but it’s torture without you.”

Now you’re confused. Why is he showing up at your door and giving you comfort? Isn’t he the one who has been wronged this whole time?

“You mean, you’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I be? It’s not your fault you need to move back. Sure, I’m sad about it, but this isn’t something you can control, right?”

Now, nothing stops you or your conscience as you wrap your arms around him, furrowing into his familiar scent as tears escape your eyes. You’ve done a lot of hugging recently, but this time, it feels like an eternity has gone by. You never want to let go of him or this moment, and you can even feel your mind memorizing every aspect of this moment.

You guess Beomgyu makes you feel that way. Mind and heart combined, with no conflict.

“You always know what to say,” you point out, sniffling.

“I’d hope so; I have to do it every Monday.”

You laugh, although it’s choked and dry from your crying, but as your head moves, you hear a crinkle from his back pocket.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, um,” he starts, grabbing the object out of his pocket, “they’re mango popsicles. I was going to try and bargain with you if this didn’t work out.”

“Hmm, well, I’m not really convinced yet,” you joke, motioning him to follow you and sit on your bed as he rolls his eyes.

Silence ensues for the next couple of seconds as you both open the wrappers and enjoy the delicacy. The flavor doesn’t even bother you anymore, because now when you think of mango, you think of Beomgyu. You think of his sweetness, his humor, and his bright sunshine personality that matches the color of the delightful fruit.

“Oh, Y/N, you have some juice dripping down your chin,” Beomgyu notices, pointing to the area.

“Where, here?” you ask, patting the left side and feeling its dryness, “or a little higher?”

“No, I- here,” he says, leaning closer with his thumb and brushing off the liquid.

You want to thank him, but as you look up into his eyes, you realize how imperceptibly close you two are. Suddenly, you’re thrust back to a week ago when you were in his arms, leaning into each other until you could feel his breath upon yours, but this time, there’s nothing stopping you. No phone, no crowd, and most importantly, no insecurities come between you two now, and your mind is clear as you lean in and latch your lips upon his.

If you were unsure of what mango meant to you before, you’re definitely sure it will remind you of Beomgyu now, because all you can taste is the mango on his lips. It’s like your mind has gone into overdrive as you move closer, and you can vaguely register him using his free hand to palm the back of your head and tilt it up. The atmosphere doesn’t feel hazy anymore; instead, it feels shy and awkward, as if you were two lovers learning the world together. Like everything with Beomgyu, it feels right, just so right, and you never want to leave because you are his wholeheartedly, and he is yours.

Until you register what’s happening, of course.

You pull away quickly, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Beomgyu’s lips are puffy, and you’re sure yours must mimic a similar appearance, but that’s the least of your worries.

“Beomgyu, I—”

“I love you,” he breathes out, and his voice is light and airy as if he can’t hold in the words anymore, “I love you so much that it kills me you’re leaving. I don’t know how to fix this pain, but what I can say is that I’ll try my hardest to be by your side. Every day I’ve spent with you has been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, and being without you this past week has made me realize how much light will disappear from my life if you leave. I’ll take you in any way you’ll let me, even if it’s through late-night calls or sparse texts. Please be mine, please.”

He's begging you now, holding your hands within his and clutching tightly, but even the words you want to say are trapped in your throat. You can’t do it to him. You can’t force him to love you thousands of miles away and look forward to you when he has a whole future ahead of him. You may be burdened by the ghosts of your past, but he isn’t, and you can’t deprive him of the one thing that makes himself him: his sunshine.

“I’m so sorry Beomgyu. I can’t put you in that position.”

Even the tears that once hesitated to fall now escape freely as he nods, cradling your cheek. After all that’s happened, he’s still so understanding, and even though he has a tight smile on his face, he keeps on a brave front for you.

“I knew you would say that. It’s okay, we can just enjoy the last of our days together.”

“Don’t hold yourself back for me, alright?” you whisper, wiping the stray tears that you don’t want him to see.

He notices the tear stains on your cheeks anyway, wiping the wetness with the pads of his thumbs. You notice he doesn’t respond, but at this point, he doesn’t need to. Even though you’ve warned him against it, you know without a doubt that he’ll always be waiting for you, even with all your uncertainty.

The last bell of the year rings, but as your classmates bustle around you with joy and laughter, you don’t know what to feel.

Moving is a funny concept. You leave behind everything you know just to start anew, but unlike most people, you’ve finally gotten the chance to go back to the past. Your old friends, your old family, your old life. Months ago, you would’ve jumped for this opportunity, as many others would in your situation, but now you’re experiencing a bittersweet emotion. You can’t even deny it: this place has had a tremendous impact on you through the experiences it put you through, the people it made you meet, and the emotions it caused you to feel. Even just thinking about going away leaves a pang in your heart, but you suppose life is about these occurrences, whether they’re sad or happy, and you’ll just have to persevere through it like you always do.

You’re walking out to the parking lot when Beomgyu joins you. You’ve still been talking even after the dreaded incident weeks ago, especially since you studied together for exams, but your relationship since you rejected him hasn’t been the same. It’s like you’re tiptoeing around with each other, waiting for one another to break, but you’ve already broken before so you don’t know why it feels so fragile. Maybe it’s the tension in the air around your departure or the lack of definition within your relationship, but either way, it feels suffocating.

At least you’re grateful he hasn’t shut you out yet.

“So, how was your last day of school?” you hear, but this time you focus your eyes on the ground instead.

It feels too weird to look at him. It’s like you don’t have permission to admire his beauty anymore, so you rarely ever make eye contact with him. Instead, you focus on the gum he’s chewing, the one you know is mango-flavored but always so bitter. Maybe it was a sign you two were never meant to be.

“It was good. You know, tiring as always, but I’m glad it’s over.”

“Yeah, I get it. Are you going back home soon?”

Honestly, your parents haven’t been super transparent with you, but from their calls, you assume that you still have well into the summer before you move out. They sound busy wrapping up things, and they haven’t given you an exact date, but they have promised you they’ll be here soon. Like all things in your life, even your parting is uncertain, and that’s what you tell him.

“So, what I hear is that I can still terrorize you over the summer.”

You laugh, but it’s forced and uneasy. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, but honestly, you’ve gotten a little too used to it by now.

“I guess you could, Gyu.”

He stops you in your tracks by stepping in front of you.

“Look, I know we’re a little awkward right now, but I feel like I have to say this, or I’ll never get the chance. I’m so honored to have been your friend, and I’m going to miss you a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I’m sorry for putting you in so many awkward situations, but I hope you can remember the good parts when you think of me.”

You sigh, patting his head. If you were on good terms with him, you would’ve gifted him a hug, but you hope the small gesture can do your feelings enough justice.

“I’m gonna miss you too. A lot a lot,” you mimic, watching him smile, “so text me often, okay? I’m sorry for making things awkward too.”

He shakes his head, willing to argue in your favor, but before he can even start a car horn sounds from the parking lot. You crane your head to see a familiar vehicle, one that’s accompanied you throughout your lifetime, except this time, it’s adorned with a painted mango on the side.

“Mom? Dad?”

Your parents step out of the car, and your legs are moving you towards them before you can even register it. Video calls don’t do their beautiful faces any justice, and it feels so surreal as you stop in front of them, waiting for them to just be a figment of your imagination.

“Hey, sweetie,” your dad says, and that’s all it takes before you’re leaning into his touch, burrowing yourself into him as you would often do when you were a little kid.

You forgot how much pain you felt when they left you here. All this time, you’ve suppressed it, and only at night when you were in your room, half-asleep and overthinking, did you let your tears come to bay. You wanted to be strong for them because everything they did was for you, but it was hard not to lose sight of their eventual return and get lost in the lifeless emotions associated with their disappearance every waking day that passed. It took every ounce of strength in you to pick yourself up every day and pretend like you were fine, but although there were many factors that helped you mitigate those feelings, none of them could truly ever make the ache ebb away.

“Why are you here? I thought it would be a while,” you ask after you’ve calmed down and properly reunited with them, “are we moving back soon?”

“Actually, about that… we’ve changed our minds a little bit.”

Your mom holds your face in her palms, pinching at the skin on your cheek ever so slightly.

“Your aunt told us how happy you are here, and how you’ve grown so much from moving here. I know that losing your parents so suddenly must’ve had a huge impact on you, but if this place helped you with those struggles even just a little bit, then it must be worth staying here. We thought that you might like it if we stayed here permanently. What do you think?”

You can’t believe it. It’s as if the world has deafened and all you can hear is the ringing echoing through your ears because what they’re saying sounds too good to be true. Moving here? Permanently? Is life playing some sort of cruel joke on you?

“You aren’t joking, right?” you whisper, and all your parents can do is laugh as they shake their heads.

They say that your life flashes before your eyes as you die, but right now, all that flashes through your eyes are the memories you’ve made in your seemingly short time here. You remember sitting shotgun in Yeonjun’s car as he annoyed you on the way to school, texting Yunjin during math while you two try not to fall asleep, and teaming up with Taehyun while wreaking havoc on poor Soobin.

However, most importantly, you remember Beomgyu. From the curve of his lips to the rings on his fingers, from the walks home you’ve shared to your first and last kiss in your very bedroom, he’s always been with you wholeheartedly. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since that very first day when the boy with dark curls caught your watercolor eyes, and for the foreseeable future, you don’t think you’ll be able to stop.

When you turn to look back at him, he’s there. He’s always there, waiting for you no matter how far you go. Even if he is just a speckle in the distance, just the size of an atom, you are his nucleus and he revolves around you, chasing you until he breaks down into a black hole of nothing. Even now, as you stare at him from the parking lot, one look at you tells him everything he needs to know. He’s here, here before your eyes in a matter of seconds, and as your parents ask him who he is, you know that only the most perfect boy would respond with such a beautiful answer as he directly addresses you.

“I’m whoever you want me to be.”

You shake your head, unable to hide the smile that flits across your face. After a long, long time of shying away from Beomgyu, you’re finally ready to embrace the feelings he brings you, whether tears or smile lines.

“This is Beomgyu, my lover.”

Your bedroom is still bare with your whole life packed into boxes once again, but at least this time around, your walls are painted yellow again. However, instead of a sunny yellow, they’re more of a mango color, your mom going even as far as to say it’s the exact same hue as the mangoes they grew in Thailand, fresh and ripe. Honestly, you’re just glad you’re not sitting within the depressing beige color again, because why did you even convince yourself it made you happy?

What’s not fresh is the old carpet you and your boyfriend are sitting on, but sometimes you can appreciate the old things too. In fact, it’s somewhat comfortable as you lie in his arms, sprawled across the carpet with no looming future dangling over your head. It’s just you, your other half, and nothing more, enjoying your well-deserved summer break weeks after school has ended.

“I’m not ready for school,” you complain, liking the feeling of being illuminated by the bright sun peeking through your blinds, “I like sitting around doing nothing. Imagine how hectic it would’ve been if I actually moved back.”

Your statement is only half-true though, because there are many things awaiting you once school starts that you’re actually very excited for. For starters, you get to have your own article published in the newspaper, and you have a slight inkling as to what it’s going to be about. Also, you have many wonderful friends who will make your life a lot easier, so even though school is school, at least you’ll have amazing people by your side. Really, you’re just complaining for no reason.

“I’m just glad we won’t have to throw you a farewell party. I don’t think Taehyun or Soobin would’ve let me near Yunjin’s pool again.”

You smack his chest lightly, and he laughs, curling in closer to lay your head against his chest. You really should be unpacking your things, at least, that’s what you told your parents you’d be doing, but you can’t pass up the chance to cuddle with Beomgyu every time you get it. You both have been pining for each other for far too long anyway, so why waste any more time?

“Y/N!” you hear from outside the door, “I brought you food!”

You get up to let your mom in, but Beomgyu is already five steps ahead of you. Your mom gives him a warm smile because seemingly, your parents seem more smitten with him than you are. You can’t really blame them though; who doesn’t like Choi Beomgyu?

“Thank you for the mango, auntie!” he responds, and of course, the endearment has her reeling.

“I thought you two would be hungry after working hard,” she says, leaning over to peek through the gap between him and the door, “but it seems you two have done nothing at all. Oh well, you can eat it anyway. You have all the time in the world.”

You two really do, because as you make yourselves cozy on the carpet once more, bowls of mango in hand, it feels like time has taken a pause after all the misery it has put you through. You eat the slices wholeheartedly as you think, with Beomgyu brushing off the juice that escapes your mouth occasionally when the piece is too big. You’re glad that time is moving slowly because you want to savor every moment you have with him. He deserves it, and so do you.

“We should really start setting things up,” Beomgyu starts, “How long are you going to sleep with just four yellow walls and no decoration? That would be so depressing.”

“Hey, at least it’s less depressing than beige walls,” you grumble, “but even just being here makes me content enough to fall asleep. I have nothing to worry about this time around, especially when you’re just five minutes or a phone call away.”

Mere seconds pass before he’s leaning in to place a kiss on your lips, and of course, everything about him tastes extremely mango. Your malice for the fruit is far gone now, far, far gone because not only are your parents back, but also because Beomgyu is the only thing you think about when reminded of the flavor. However, your rollercoaster feelings for the fruit are the last thing on your mind as you lean in closer, placing the mango bowl beside you.

“You still hate mango, baby?” he whispers between kisses, and it takes everything in you to pull him back, reminding him that you two are supposed to be unpacking and not making out.

“Answer the question,” he whines, a cute little pout on his face that makes you five seconds away from forgetting your very own warning and kissing him breathless again.

“No, I don’t,” you finally answer, grabbing his hand and interlacing it with yours, “I love it now.”

He grins, and you decide to succumb to your desires, forgetting all sense of rationality when it comes to him as you press a kiss to his lips again.

“I love mango just as much as I love you.”

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paintyoureyeswithavividmind · 8 months

Text

close to home | chapter sixty three

plot: the reader and Daryl reconnect in a treehouse

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 3,499 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd, alcohol use, tipsy sex (the best kind tbh) no plot just smut so ya'll are welcome A/N: thank you for reading!!

By nightfall, a fire was going, Daryl returned from a quick and successful hunt, and you unpacked all your supplies. He’d grabbed mattress pads and blankets, pillows, food, water, candles, and a bottle of wine. Jerry must’ve snuck in one of his cobblers because a small one was sitting in one of the bags. There were also tarps that you didn’t know what for--until Daryl got back and nailed them to cover the windows.

It was dark in the treehouse except for the fire and a few candles. You had already eaten what Daryl brought back--rabbit--and were eating the cobbler straight out of the container with the open bottle of wine.

“I gotta have Jerry tell me how he makes these.” You mumbled through your food. “I could eat one every day of my life.

Daryl smiled at you but didn’t say anything. He’d been quiet since he came back from hunting--which was only about thirty minutes anyway. He was happy, you could tell, and you knew he was at peace, which is why he was quiet.

You grabbed the wine bottle by its neck and took a few sips. “Where did you get this?”

“Stole it from Ezekiel.”

You chuckled and took another sip, feeling it bubble in your chest. “He’s gonna kill you.”

He grabbed the bottle from you and drank from it. “He ain’ ever gonna know.”

You smiled at Daryl and lifted the fork up to his mouth. He rolled his eyes but ate off it anyway.

“Tell me about you from before,” Daryl said, turning around to lay back with his head in your lap.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

You smiled and sat your hand on his upper chest as you thought about his request. You weren’t even sure where to begin, honestly. You decided to first start with your family: your two sisters and mother and father. You told him about growing up on a farm, all the crap that came with it, and all the trouble you got up to.

You told him funny stories about you in high school and the friends you had. About all the silly fights you got into with your sisters and even your cousins. About when you ran away from home, but your mom caught you right before you skipped town.

“College was nice. I made a lot of friends and had so much fun,” You said, putting the wine bottle down. You were definitely buzzed, and you knew Daryl was too from how he laughed freely along with you.

You reached down and unbuttoned his shirt's first couple of buttons to gently run your fingers against his chest. “When I got accepted into medical school, me and my sisters got so drunk at the bar that the sheriff had to give us a ride home.”

“I woulda loved ya back then if we ever met,” Daryl said, looking up at you.

“You wouldn’t have even looked twice. I was a farm-raised nobody.”

He shook his head. “I woulda loved ya. Woulda saw you on the street and been a goner.”

You smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “You’re crazy, that’s what you are.” You rubbed your hand against his upper chest; his skin was smooth other than old scars. With your other hand you grabbed the bottle and took a long sip. It was almost done.

“Tell me about you from before.”

“Ya don’ wanna know about that. Probably would walk right on outta here.”

“I wouldn’t,” You cupped his cheeks and stared down at him. “It’s too cold outside for me to leave. I’d have to at least stay here until the sun was up.”

Daryl swatted your hands away and then begrudgingly told you about him. You already knew more than just the basics, such as how his mother and father died--and you knew how Merle died already. So he told you about his years in high school and how he was always either ditching or suspended for ditching. Which didn’t surprise you.

He’d had a few friends that Merle didn’t fuck up for him, but after they graduated, they went off to college, and he stayed home.

“I was a piece shit, honestly, didn’ do nothin’ good for myself.” Daryl told you.

“That’s not true,” You said, although you partially agreed with him. Not about the piece of shit part, but the old Daryl didn’t seem to make the best decisions and resembled nothing of the man you’d married. “Besides, you’re one of the strongest, bravest, smartest, and sexiest men I know.”

“One of ‘em? Who are the others?”

You laughed at his joke. “You know what I mean, old man.”

“It’s been a while since ya called me that. Didn’ realize till now just how much I missed it.” Daryl sat up and spun around. He grabbed you by the legs and pulled you closer, and you set your legs on his upper thighs, and his were outstretched behind you.

You set your hands on either of his cheeks as your head swooned a little bit. You and him were definitely wine tipsy; enough to take the edges and awkwardness off. But you felt safe up in the treehouse, and you felt protected. You played with the scruff on his chin as he stared at you.

“Do ya believe me?”

You nodded and pressed your forehead against his lips, getting a few soft kisses. You set your hands on his chest and unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way so you could see his skin. You kissed his collarbone and wrapped your arms around his lower waist. His muscles were taunted under your fingertips, and you could feel him tensing each time you kissed him.

Daryl mumbled your name, and his body relaxed against your touch. You scooted closer and moved your lips up his neck. You pushed his shirt off and ran your hands down his biceps; he was so muscular, so strong, even when relaxed. You couldn’t stop yourself from running your fingernails along the lengths of his arm, which left goosebumps in their wake.

You moved your hand down his abdomen and to his jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper for a second while running your tongue up the length of his neck.

“Jesus Christ,” Daryl grunted.

You smiled against his skin before pushing your hand between his jeans and briefs and palming his growing erection. You sucked gently on one of the spots on his neck you knew he loved, and you felt him grow even harder.

One of Daryl’s hands reached up to pull out your braid, and your hair fell over your shoulders, tickling his skin, and he fisted his hand through your hair at the base of your head. You moaned as you sucked on his skin, dipping your hand into his briefs and running it along his velvety smooth skin.

“You’re so hard, honey, is everything okay?” You whispered in his ear.

His chest was moving up and down rapidly as he nodded. You squeezed him before wiping your thumb across his leaking precum tip.

“So fuckin’ sexy.”

“Tell me what you want, old man.” You leaned back to look at his beautiful eyes. “Tell me how you want me.”

“On your knees.”

Not even a minute later, you were naked with your legs spread out, ass in the air, and Daryl was thrusting into you hard from behind. The position had him reaching parts inside of you you didn’t think were possible, and you struggled not to cry from how good it felt.

Daryl’s hands held your hips tight as he slammed into you repeatedly.

Then one of those hands wrapped around your hair, and he pulled you upwards. The pain from it was nothing compared to how good it felt being dominated like that, and you moaned loudly and closed your eyes. One hand wrapped around your middle, with a hand palming your breast, while the other gripped your hip.

“Ya like that?” His breath was hot in your ear, sending chills down your body. “Ya gotta use ya words, pretty girl.”

“Yes, yes,” You were desperate. His hoarse voice in your ear and his grunts and moans were too much for you. “Daryl, I’m going to-.” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before you were coming. You clenched around him as you moaned and pleaded his name louder than ever.

“Such a good girl,” Daryl said. His thrusts were like torture through your orgasm, and you could hear how wet you were.

“Daryl,” You moaned. You couldn’t believe this side of him; it had to have been the alcohol. He was never this talkative.

“Ya want more, baby girl? Tell me what ya want.”

You couldn’t even think straight, and then when you felt his lips clamp down around your neck, your eyes rolled back, and you were speechless. But you thanked God Daryl wasn’t.

“Ya so fuckin’ wet for me.”

“I missed this little pussy so bad, gorgeous.”

“Fuck, (Y/N)...”

“Suck on these for me, will ya, darlin’?”

Without even hesitating, you opened your mouth and sucked harshly on his fingers before they were ripped away from you, and within seconds you felt them rub against your clit in time with his thrusts.

“Daryl…” You nearly yelled and leaned your head back against your shoulder.

“Ya know how good ya taste, baby girl?” He asked before bringing his fingers up to his mouth. You turned to watch him; his cheeks hollowed as he sucked you off his fingers. Then he returned them to your clit for a few seconds before showing them in your mouth.

You moaned against his fingers, licking and sucking until he was satisfied. His fingers were only on you for a few seconds before you nearly started yelling when you came again.

“That’s right, baby girl,” He grunted, thrusting through your orgasm. “Tell me how much you like it?”

“Oh God, Daryl, so much.” You moaned loudly. “I need more of you.”

Your back hit the mattress pad, and he was slamming into you before you could blink. Your legs were jelly, and you couldn’t bring them up to wrap around his waist, so they went slack as he fucked you hard. You couldn’t fathom how much stamina he had tonight, nor all his dirty talk.

“Daryl…” You whined as he repeatedly hit the same spot again and again, winding you up all over again.

“I know, baby girl, I know.” His voice was so deep and hoarse in your ear, and you ran your fingernails along his back, making him groan. “‘M gonna fuckin’ cum inside of ya, fill ya up so good. Make ya mine.”

“I already am,” You whimpered at a particularly hard thrust, and you could feel yourself starting to get sore. Tears leaked from your eyes at how good it felt, and he paused for a second and looked at you, wiping them away.

“Feel good?” He asked you under his breath.

You nodded. “Keep going, hard.”

Daryl fucked you like he did the night that he asked you to marry him; hard, with his hands, mouth, tongue, and teeth everywhere he could touch. You were sure you left scratches bleeding down his back as you came one more time before he did, filling you so much so you could feel it leaking out before he even finished.

You winced when he pulled out of you before letting your sweaty body relax into the mattress bad.

“Fuck,” Daryl muttered. “Darlin’, ya bleedin’.”

“Hmm?”

“I made ya bleed, I- I am so sorry.”

You sat up partially and saw little blood on him. “It’s okay. It’s been a really long time since I had it like that. I’m just sore, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Are ya sure?”

You nodded, “Just get something to clean me off.”

He chuckled, gave you a yes, ma’am, and was gone for a second before he was back, taking care of you like he always did. Then he brought you into his arms, and you sighed with content against his chest.

“We should drink like that more often. You were…”

“Don’ remind me.”

You smiled and looked up at him. “I loved it. Why haven’t you said anything like that before?”

“Just kept it up in my head, I guess.”

You snuggled closer to him under the warm blanket. “Well, I except to be called baby girl much more often, old man.”

“Ain’ an old man.”

***

The following day, you woke up to an erection digging into your back so hard you were sure it left it bruise, and you woke Daryl to give his body what it clearly wanted. The two of you made slow, tender love to each other for nearly an hour before your stomach grumbled too hard, and Daryl went to fetch you something to eat from the supplies you brought.

After eating, you got dressed and went outside. The sun was shining again, and about a foot of beautiful, crystal snow had partially frozen over. Your boots crunched over it as you and Daryl worked to clear the platform and the parts of the roof you could reach.

“I wanna walk around. I need to stretch my legs.” You told him as you grabbed your weapons. Your machete went to its usual home, but you left the bow behind.

Daryl followed you down the rope ladder, and you both took a few seconds to look around the area before walking. Flurries were floating around from the branches above you and the wind, so when you looked at Daryl, his hair was coated in them. You knew yours must match.

“You wanna know what I love most about you, Dixon.” You asked him.

“What, Dixon?”

You smiled, your heart fluttering. “That you’re not what I expected you to be. When we first met.”

“What did you expect?”

You shrugged. “Some macho, manly man who didn’t have a care about anything in the world.”

“Ya sayin’ I ain’ manly?”

Laughing loudly, you looped your arm around his. “I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m just saying that you’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever known. Both before and after. And I just really admire you for it.” Daryl blushed and shook his head, and you stood on your toes to kiss his red cheek. “Just as I said, sweet.”

Daryl grunted in response and said he was going to check the snares. You watched as he walked away, admiring him in his shawl and how he carried his crossbow. He was a perfect figure against snow blankets, and you bit your lip as you watched him.

There was still lingering anxiety as you looked at him. You believed that he wouldn’t let what happened happen again. But you weren’t quite sure about it. He didn’t know the future. You didn’t. And it killed you to think that it could happen again. You weren’t sure if you could survive it. You barely survived it the first time--if you had, you wouldn’t have fallen into him again so quickly. You would’ve been able to let him walk out of your room at the kingdom and be content with never seeing him again.

You sighed to yourself and crossed your arms. It was freezing but the fresh air felt nice against your rosy cheeks. And the surrounding area was so peacefully quiet that you wanted to bask in it.

Something hit the back of your head, and you felt snow fall into the back of your jacket. You scoffed and turned again. “Did you really just throw a snowball at me, Dixon?”

He had another one in his hand, about five yards from you. He tossed it into the air and caught it. “I did.”

“What are you, ten years old?” You asked but bent down to pick up snow in your own hand. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him about to throw another one at you, and you quickly jumped behind a tree.

“Can’ hide from me, foreve’,”

You smiled widely and leaned against the tree. You could hear the crunch of his footsteps, and when he was close enough, you ducked around the tree and jumped on his back. You shoved the snow into his face and laughed loudly.

“I let ya do that,” Daryl said as he wiped snow off his nose.

Your boots hit the ground, and then Daryl grabbed you, pinning you against the tree before you even realized it. “You did not. You must be losing your touch in your golden years,” You said.

“That ain’ what ya said last night.” Daryl dipped his head and whispered in your ear. “Think ya was tellin’ me how much ya need me.” His voice was deep, and you felt your stomach flip.

You looked up at him as flashbacks of the night before and then this morning when he was buried deep inside you. You felt heat run straight through you, grabbed him by his shawl, and brought his lips to yours. You could still hear those words ringing in your head.

Daryl pushed you against the tree with his body, and you reached down to palm him over his jeans. His lips moved quickly over yours, and his hands couldn’t find a spot to settle.

“Gotta get ya back to the treehouse, huh?” He mumbled against your lips.

You shook your head and unzipped his jeans. “Here.”

“It’s freezin’ out,”

“I don’t fucking care,” You said, kissing him again.

Daryl groaned against your lips before stepping away and taking off his shawl. You were instantly touching him again, trying to reconnect your lips when he had you lie down on the shawl, and he worked at taking off your sweats. You could feel the cold from the snow as soon as your pants were off, but you ignored it.

Your cold fingers worked at lowering his pants enough to get his cock out, and you had only just started moving your hand up and down when he swatted your hand away to spread your legs for him. You bit your lip at seeing him lining up to fuck you.

His fingers were as cold as ice when he rubbed them against your clit and teased your opening. Your eyes screwed shut, and you moaned softly. “Don’t tease me.”

He didn’t say anything as he thrust hard into you, which had you nearly yelling in arousal. Your fingers locked around his neck as he fucked you. You could feel snow everywhere, and your legs tingled with cold, but it was exhilarating. Having him fuck you outside like this.

“Fuck, ya so wet, baby girl,” Daryl grunted in your ear. “All for me.”

***

You and Daryl arrived at Alexandria four days later, hand in hand. Eugene was manning the gate, and he was happy to see the two of you. There were a few other people on watch. Some of them Daryl hadn’t met you, so you introduced them. The streets were slushy, and you kept slipping next to him as you walked toward your house.

"(Y/N)!”

You smiled as soon as you heard Judith yelling for you, and when you saw her running as fast as she could, you dropped Daryl’s hand to meet her halfway. You scooped her up and spun her around before putting her back on the ground and cupping her cheeks. “I missed you so much, Jude.” You said.

“You missed the first snow,” She whined. “We didn’t get to have our annual snowball fight. And you were gone longer than you said you’d be.”

“I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. I came as soon as Adam cleared me.”

“Can I see your scar?” She asked with excitement.

You laughed and nodded. “Later. Look who’s with me.”

Judith looked around you and smiled wide when she saw her uncle. “Daryl!”

You smiled as she threw herself into his arms, and then the door opened, and Michonne walked out in her pajamas. She was thrown off when she saw you but quickly came over to hug you. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I wanted to surprise the kids.” You said, adjusting the bow on your shoulder. You lowered your voice and looked at your best friend, who kept glancing back at Daryl. “We want to work things out. I want to work things out. I love him.”

She slowly smiled and nodded. “I’m happy to see it. Is he moving back in?”

“Yeah, but we can move into one of the emptier houses.”

“No, I want you with me,” Michonne told you. “And it would break Judith and RJ's heart if you did.”

#daryl x reader #daryl dixion x reader #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x y/n #daryl twd #twd #daryl x you

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urfavlarry · 8 days

Note

hihi! can i request a fic where the read is ben and aidens childhood friend and they both like the reader? like how would that go 🎀

Love triangle

Ben & Aiden x childhood friend!reader

warnings: swearing, bad grammar, brief mention of gagging

A/N: the texting part reminds me of a part from a book called call me by your name :0

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╰┈➤ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🎧🛹 ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Your childhood was a wild one. Of course it was! You had Aiden in your childhood! He wasn’t always like that, and you knew. The same with Ben. One lost his sparkle and the other gained it. You couldn’t lie if someone asked if you were some how involved in Aiden dyeing his hair. How could you not! He would be happy so you would do anything for your best friend. You and Aiden were there for Ben when he was going through tough time, you being the one that bought him his headphones to help him calm down. Of course they were there for you too! When you had family issues, personal issues, or even school issues! They were always there for you as if they were your unpaid therapist haha.

Your summers were never dull when with them, Ben being the only reasonable one and got you two out of trouble most of the time. He was the one that you always called at night when something was bothering you, knowing Aiden would probably already be sleeping, his snoring sounding like a damn alarm clock! Aiden however would be there for you during injuries and things like that. He was quite experienced with patching people up since he himself had to do it a lot on himself. Skateboarding injuries suck ass.

And here you were, looking at your phone, two different tabs opened. One with yours and Aidens chats and the other with yours and Bens. Both having the last message as;

— — — — — — — — — — — —

‘I love you Y/N.”

— — — — — — — — — — — —

What were you supposed to do? Yes you liked them but you weren’t sure if you could choose between them. You gagged at the thought of dating the both of them, thinking it would be weird since they are literally cousins. You shake off the thought, groaning and scream into your pillow. Watching the time go by, you get another text from Aiden and Ben;

— — — — — — — — — — — —

‘Hello? Y/N?? Are you there?’

‘Y/N?”

“HELLOOOO?”

— — — — — — — — — — — —

“Y/N everything okay?”

— — — — — — — — — — — —

You open the messages, trying to type out an answer but every single one felt like it wasn’t enough.

‘I need more time.”

You rewrote that to;

‘Could we talk about it in person?’

Nope! Rewriting that to;

‘Maybe we should just stay friends? No hard feelings right?’

FUCKING HELL Y/N, NO!!

‘I love you too, but I just can’t choose between you two, I love you and Ben so so much, you’re my best friends after all, why wouldn’t I? You have been here for me since we were 8, and I appreciate that but I don’t think I can love one and leave the other behind, I’m sorry.’

Yeah, that seems alright. You send the message and send the same thing to Ben, just rewriting his name to Aidens. They both must be so confused, I doubt they told each other about their feelings towards me, knowing the both of them a bit too well. You hear your phone blow up a bit, deciding to ignore them, you start to pack. Oh reader, nobody told you? You’re moving! Out of the state, well.. to a whole new continent! Isn’t that exciting? Well, it would be if this whole thing wasn’t going on. You’re leaving behind the people you love so much, how sad and American high school movie is that? Your mom yells for you to hurry, grabbing the photos and gifts from the group. You look at your now empty room, walking downstairs you send a quick; “Goodbye America<3” with a picture of your suitcase on snapchat and turn off your notifications. Everyone in the group knew, except Aiden and Ben. You walk downstairs, everything packed and ready. Your mom was waiting for you in front of the car, grabbing your things and puts them in the back of the car.

She smiles at you, hugging you and kisses your forehead. “You ready to go ducky?” She asks and you nod, smiling at her. She pats you on the back and you both get in the car. You get comfortable, knowing it would be a long car ride when you see Ben and Aiden sprinting out of their homes. Your dad drives off, Ben and Aiden chasing the car for what felt like hours yet it was only just a few seconds. They looked devastated, heart broken even. But it’s what the three of you needed; a fresh start.

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╰┈➤ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🎧🛹 ɞ˚‧｡⋆

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marymary-diva17 · 4 months

Text

He your son you idiot (modern au)

Jake x reader x neytiri

When you and your spouse had agreed on having kids there were many things that were discussed, and one of them was what parenting will be like. It was agreed on that the children will be given love and support, and there will be no favoritism show in the family and house. The was something you had been trying to avoid as you knew favoritism can be bad for everyone. What happens when that promise had been broken,how much can these acts of favoritism happen until it boil overs.

Y/n “ ………” the sully home was very quite was quite as everyone was off at school and work today, but soon your phone had rang getting your attention.

y/n " hello ... oh yes this is her how may I help you ... I will be there right away" you had hang up the phone call and soon collected your things and soon rush to the kids school, there was incident at school that involved loak.

y/n " please don't let it be that bad please" you soon entered the school and made your way towards the headmaster office. You soon reach it to see lo'ak sitting on a bench, you soon looked at him and gasped.

y/n " sweetie what happened"

lo'ak " I got into a fight mom with these boys"

y/n " don't worry when we get home we will make sure you get cleaned up and healed, tell me what happened"

lo'ak " I know I promised to stay out of fights mom and I have been doing good in school, but today it seems like lucky was not on my side"

y/n " I understand but please tell me what lead to this fight"

lo'ak " it all started when ...." soon the office door had opened and you soon looked up to see Jake and neytiri standing there.

Jake " dad and mom"

neytiri " lo'ak what happened"

lo'ak " a fight I can explain myself"

Jake " I hope you can young man"

headmaster " lo'ak sully parents I will love to have some words with you three"

y/n " it will be okay once we are done talking we will come get you"

Jake " come on lets go and see what this boy had done now"

You had given Lo’ak one last look of love and support before you entered the office with your spouse and sat with the headmaster.

Headmaster “ as you all can see and have been told you son Lo’ak sully has been in a fight”

Jake “ yes we are sorry for his behavior and I will make sure it doesn’t happen again”

Y/n “ Jake”

Jake “ no that boy has gotten into so many fights already why cant he calm his anger”

Neytiri “ oh Lo’ak what are we going to do about him”

Y/n “ excuse me sir can you please explain more of the situation to us”

Headmaster “ well there as some conflict in the hallways today after some words were said, and soon enough the fight had started between all of the boys and Lo’ak … lucky enough neteyam and aonung were able to break it up with the help of Rotxo and spider but there are some people to blame for his fight and another matters”

Jake “ Lo’ak sir we are sorry about his lately he hasn’t been the same”

Headmaster “ yes I will like to address that was well as this fight is connected to other matters, Lo’ak hasn’t been doing well in school for the past couple months as you all know and after some investigation we found out why …”

JAke “ we know why he a trouble maker that why he never does anything right like his siblings and now he gotten his friends and cousins involved”

Neytiri “ did anyone else get hurt in the fight”

Headmaster “ well not that much but there are some to be some matters we need to discuss with the others boys families and your sons friends families as well”

Jake “ yes sir let that happened”

Y/n “ Jake please clam down”

Jake “ ……” soon the other families had came into the room and they all looked disappointed.

Ronal “ it seems like Lo’ak keeps on getting in trouble”

Norm “ Jake what happened I get a call telling my son was involved in fight, that included loak”

Jake “ yes I’m sorry everyone as it seem like my son as done something completely stupid”

Y/n “ Jake we haven’t heard the whole story yet”

Mother “ back here once again you playing the same tune over and over, always standing up for the punk child you have”

Y/n “ leave my son out of this matter right now”

Tonowari “ what going to happen”

Jake “ I and neytiri have made a plan”

Y/n “ a plan without speaking with me his mom your guys wife”

Neytiri “ because you baby him to much that why we are here, if you have done a better job then our family will be perfect and our marriage will be perfect as well”

Y/n “ what are you talking about”

Jake “ we can deal with this later as today onwards Lo’ak will no longer be a problem for anyone here as I’m having him sent to boarding school”

Y/n “ Jake he our son why send him away”

Jake “ I’m doing what best for everyone that boy need discipline and the school, can deal with him and there nothing else you can do”

Y/n “ no you are not sending him away like that”

Neytiri “ it to late it has already been decided he going that all, we will pay for any damage at had been caused because of loak”

Headmaster “ which school will be sending him”

Jake “ this school I had been told about it before and decided enough was enough, in doing what best for my family and everyone else” some of the adults agreed on this decision while you and headmaster along with Norm felt worried. Jake soon gave the flyer to the headmaster who looked over it.

Headmaster “ I have some friends who work there I will give them a call, and send over Loak information”

Jake “ thank you once again I’m sorry for my son actions everyone, I will make sure it never happens again in the future” soon the meeting had ended and everyone gather up their kids and left for home. It was easy to tell nothing good was going to come out of these decisions made. Once the sully family arrived home there was a family meeting.

Jake “ after this week you will be going to you new school loak”

Loak “ new school”

Neytiri “ I and your father have decided you need to attend boarding school, this school is highly recommended and will help deal with your delinquent behavior”

Loak “ no you can’t send me away”

Jake “ it always done you are leaving within a week”

Look “ mama did you know”

Jake “ no you mama didn’t know we did this behind her back, as we knew she will stop us you have disappointed us all expected your mama but needs to happen loak”

Loak “ but dad hear me out if you will just…”

Jake “ no you have done enough look at what happened to your brother snd spider, along with Ao’nung and Rotox they were hurt because of you … it all because of you never thinking about anyone else but yourself”

Y/n “ Jake stop it he still our son your son”

Jake “…….”

Loak “ when I leave can I stay in contact with all my siblings and cousin, along with my friends as well I still wish to speak with tsireya as well like we do all the time” loak was looking at Jake hoping for some good news.

Jake “ after today your contact with your cousins and friends will be limited, and that means mostly tsireya as well their parents had asked for this after the trouble that had been caused today”

Loak “ dad please no”

Jake “ I’m sorry son but these are the consequences of your actions, maybe in time you can be in contact with everyone else but for now it limited or will be no contact at all”

Loak “ ……….”

Y/n “ Jake don’t you think that to harsh”

Jake “ no and the same thing goes for you siblings as well, we will all need time to adjust to the situation your mama will be different situation”

Loak “ yes dad I’m sorry”

Jake “ you can leave now and make sure to apologize to everyone, I will not have you leave here without saying sorry” Loak had nodded his head and soon walked off, to his room upstairs.

Y/n “ you thinking sending him away will be a good solution”

Jake “ yes we can no longer deal with him like this, and this has affected our family enough it might start effecting us more as well”

Neytiri “ think about Tuk she so young she will soon pick his behavior we don’t need that, and we need to think about neteyam and Kiri as well wasting their time fixing his mistakes”

Y/n “ he just a teen and maybe there more to story”

Jake “ well you can believe that all you want but he leaving if like it or not” you didn’t say anything else as you soon left to go make dinner, tonight dinner was not that happy as the rest of the kids were told of news of loak leaving.

That night

Y/n “ hey buddy”

Loak “ hey mama”

Y/n “ I’m sorry loak I was not able to protect you from all that was happening in school”

Loak “ that headmaster told you didn’t he”

Y/n “ yes he called me after dinner and the teacher left messages as well, I’m sorry my son”

Loak “it okay mama hey maybe when I leave everyone will throw a party, yes in honor of me being gone for good and everyone being rid of bad child”

Y/n “ oh loak” you soon hugged your son as he cried a bit he was leaving everyone and everything he loved behind. There was no stopping it now it was go to this school or what else he dad thought up. True to Jake words contact with his friends and others were limited or didn’t happen.

The day of Loak leaving

Speaker “ flight 26789 will be departing soon at gate 23B”

Loak “ that my flight”

Jake “ yes it this someone at the school will be waiting to pick you up there, and take you there”

Loak “ yes sir”

Neytiri “ it will be some time until we can see you again for a visit”

Loak “ yes ma’am”

Y/n “ come on I will walk you to the gate”

Jake “ y/n we can …..”

Y/n “ in taking my son to gate as it will be a long time until I see him again” you soon walked off with Loak and his backpack, and his suitcase were being loaded onto the plane.

Y/n “ it going to be a long flight you own”

Loak “ yes mama I know”

Y/n “ all on your own”

Loak “ I will be fine mama no need to cry or worry”

Y/n “I’m going to miss you honey but I know you will do great that this school, even your old headmaster and teachers said that as well”

Loak “ yes”

Y/n “ there will be some forms you will need to drop off once you get there, but once there you get to make some decisions as well”

Loak “ I know mama I have decided on something already, I texted everyone and try to start a FaceTime call but got nothing”

Y/n “ I’m sorry you didn’t get to a proper send off”

Loak “ well I love this send off mama”

Y/n “ good I pack some snacks and stuff you like along with money as well, if you need help on anything call me and family”

Loak “ yes mama hey I might come back a changed boy”

Y/n “ don’t change that much”

Loak “ what about them how are you going to be”

Y/n “ I will be okay and hey maybe it time I take some of advice we were given by him” loak laughed a bit at what you had said.

Loak “ you are going to be great mom”

Y/n “ you are going to be great as well now go along, I love you”

Loak “ I love you as well” mother and son hugged one more time, before you watched loak walk onto the plane and wave goodbye. You saw his plane take off and soon head back towards the entrance you knew your son will do well but nothing will ever be the same again around here.

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beabeemu · 10 months

Text

All this time

Itoshi Rin x Reader

Pregnancy trope!! Summary: After getting pregnant by Rin at the age of 16, deciding that not telling him about is the best thing you could do for him. Considering his soccer career, you would only get in the way.

SERIES!!!

Next part: Pt. 2!!! Pt. 3!!! Pt. 4!!!! Pt.5!!!

MASTER LIST; TAGLIST FORM

(join my Taglist so that you can get notified for the next part!!)

“Shit…”

Staring at the pregnancy test in my hands, with 2 lines.

2 lines…

Fuck

‘I always thought that I won’t get pregnant, because well… I hate kids

Fuck, I hate kids

Will I hate my kid too?

Should I abort it?

Mom would kill me

No that’s wrong

My whole family would kill me.

They’d kill me either way because I’m pregnant.’

Who would’ve thought that I’d be pregnant

At 16

And how the fuck do I tell him?

“Ok, it seems that you’re baby is healthy. Would you like to know the gender?”

Staring at the screen where my baby is, I think I’m getting the hang of this, ultrasound thing. I looked at the doctor who was holding the machine thingy, she was my third doctor because the other 2 were super judgy.

“Sure! Wouldn’t hurt to know right? “

“Don’t you want to have a gender reveal party? Love, it’s your first child after all”

Said mom, who was beside me. She finally got her head around that I was pregnant. Dad however is still awkward, along with my whole family. Apart from my close cousins of course. I didn’t tell him yet. Mom doesn’t know who it is. I just lied to her and told her that I forgot his name and that I didn’t get his number. Which was all a lie, I still remember his face from that night.

I mean how could you forget a face like his? He is Itoshi Rin Afterall.

“Nah, no one would probably come anyways”

“Don’t say that honey, I’m sure your cousins would like to come, and your friends”

“I think I’d rather just lay low”

“If that's what you want honey”

“Ok, so the gender of your baby is a-”

Looking at his contact name, resisting the urge to text him and say “I’m pregnant and you’re the father”

But I knew that it wouldn’t end well, I’d only be a burden to him, hold him back. And the last thing I need right now is to be stuck in a relationship like that. I don’t even know how we ended up having sex that night.

We’ve known each other since we were in grade school, we were neighbors, But then their family moved, and we kept in contact, But later this year, we’ve only been briefly chatting with each other again. Then we met up 8 months ago, we had a few drinks, and one thing led to another, and now we’re here.

I did try to contact him, but then I remembered him telling me that he was gonna go to a soccer camp called blue lock. So I made that a reason as to why he’s not messaging back.

And, without even telling him about our daughter, I already know how it’s gonna go.

He’ll probably say some shit like ‘I have to focus on soccer right now, but when I can I’ll visit you’

Then he will visit every few months, considering he might go pro in soccer, he’ll be busy and I’ll be here, stuck in the past. Struggling to get to the future with my baby. I don’t want my child to be in an unpredictable relationship with Rin, I mean we all know how Rin is, he is just so hell-bent on beating his brother, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. This is for the best. It will be better if Rin doesn’t know. I don’t want my daughters’ first heartbreak to be caused by her father.

Do I have any intention of telling him? I don’t know

But ever since getting pregnant I’ve gotten more curious and more excited about meeting my baby, I’ve grown attached to her, which is good. Because I want nothing more for my daughter other than to be happy. And I’ll make sure to give her all the happiness in the world. Even if it means being alone.

A cry filled in the delivery room, I finally felt my muscles let loose, and I saw the doctors wiping my daughter clean. Then they handed her to me. Hair as red as mine, I can already see the resemblance of her father on her face. The nose, the eyes, the eyelashes if Rin were to see her, he would immediately ask whether she was his.

The second I held her, I fell in love. Because everything was gonna change now, I won't be alone, she’ll be with me through everything. I don’t even care if Rin knows or not, as long as she’s with me.

After a few minutes, they started cleaning me up, and they took my baby to the monitor room. When they left the nurse asked what her name was gonna be.

“Rei”

likes and reblogs are always appreciated!!

Next part: Pt. 2!!! Pt. 3!!! Pt. 4 !!! Pt. 5!!! Pt. 6

Taglist Form!!

#anime #blue lock #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk headcanons #rin itoshi x reader #rin x reader #bllk fluff #blue lock x you #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #blue lock x reader smut #bllk #Blue Lock #rin itoshi

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kiragecko · 7 months

Text

This is a post about why I'm currently considering myself to be nonbinary, but it's not a post about gender.

It’s about 90% of the elementary school girls wanting to sit on the grass and talk about boys, and me still not understanding why even now, in my mid 30s.

It’s about ‘girls books’ that were all about friendship drama and worrying about menstruating, and how these were framed as universal concerns. My only friends were a pair of male cousins and we mostly cared about how our Lego ninjas’ castle infiltration was going. (The options were limited in my small library in the mid-90s.)

It’s about the ‘wild’, ‘disobedient’, and 'hyper' kids in the books I grew up with being so much better behaved than me, even on my best day, that I’d puzzle over it for weeks. Maybe if my parents were stricter I would be able to follow instructions easier? Maybe I was one of the mean kids in those books? Why was nobody in books like me?

It’s about the revulsion I feel when I think about ‘romantic’ gestures. Remembering my mom getting flowers from someone at church, and my aunt getting upset when I laughed about how she wouldn’t like them. MY MOM IS ALLERGIC TO FLOWERS, but a person who had nothing to do with the situation got offended that I didn’t consider them a thoughtful and nice gift. It makes me feel nauseous thinking about how I’m ‘supposed’ to think things that I don’t want and can’t use are loving gifts, just because society decided they were.

It's about people wanting me to already know their social conventions, and feeling like they are doing SO MUCH WORK when they make allowances for my mistakes, but thinking that learning anything about how I like to communicate is asking far too much of them.

It's about trying to make friends as a teen, and all the guys getting upset or weird when it became clear that wasn't code for dating.

It's about makeup giving me rashes, and my hair being done up giving me headaches.

It’s about women in lingerie in ads, and how I wore a headscarf for a year in reaction to how that made me feel.

It's about learning biblical gender roles, and getting really excited about the idea of protection and love in return for submission. And then finding out I like the BDSM understanding of protection and submission a lot more than I like the church's. That the person I love doesn't have the skill to protect me in ways that make submission safe.

It’s about having noise and light sensitivities, but being expected to enjoy crowded weddings.

It’s about people acting disgusted when I get too loud. Or excited. Or happy. Or interested.

It's about 'body language experts' that ""explain"" what various gestures mean, and it's about that month when my husband believed them and told me I was wrong about what I felt.

It's about definitions of 'womanhood' and 'humanity' that contain things that exclude me. And learning how to be okay with being the exception this time. And eventually getting so used to being the exception that I can no longer connect to the concept at all.

It's about only reading fantasy, now, because an elf's experience isn't supposed to be relatable.

It’s about learning that ‘I actually wanted’ things I didn’t want, and I was ‘unreasonable’ when I said no, and I was being ‘too sensitive’ when things physically or emotionally hurt.

It’s about being ADHD and aroace and weird in far too many ways; in a culture that seems to consider that to be willful rebellion and disrespect.

I don’t know how to be a woman. I don’t know how to feel good about being a woman. I don't feel I can fulfill the roles and dynamics associated with femininity. I can't present myself in the expected ways, and I don't really want to. In isolation, 'woman' feels like an accurate description. But than I think of OTHER people considering me a woman, and having the right to define what that means, and I just can't.

I need a break from considering myself female, so I can figure out how to do it in a way that doesn’t break me.

I want to learn how to interact with other people in a way that are less exhausting and painful. Engage on my own terms, and disengage if those terms aren’t fulfilled. Protect my own boundaries with strangers and acquaintances - people I don’t expect to make allowances for me. Not by demanding things of them, but by only offering myself on certain terms.

I don't want to ask anything about anyone else. I'm tired of it being about them. I want to ask things of myself. Ask for respect, and care. Figure out what that would actually look like. I want to process and let go of my self-hatred and feelings of being 'designed wrong'.

I've heard the terms 'acegender' and 'neurogender'. They don't excite me, but I recognize that's part of what's going on. Having ADHD gets in the way of performing womanhood to the point that it becomes hard to separate them. And some much of femaleness is defined in relation to being a part of a heterosexual romantic couple. I've got the man, but that hasn't helped me decode the mysteries of romantic and sexual attraction. The baffling concept of men having some sort of allure that women lack, of being a different category.

But, like my marriage isn't about my lack of attraction (it's about the choice I made to love him, and the decade plus of commitment we've had to each other), being nonbinary isn't about my lack of understanding of and ability to perform womanhood. It's about choosing to love myself, and recognizing that I've internalized enough harmful beliefs that I can't healthily identify as female right now.

It's not about gender.

#nonbinary #gender stuff #neurodivergence #asexuality #acegender #neurogender #when you spent years thinking your desire for they/them pronouns was about not being female #and it turns out it's actually about wanting to opt out of stereotypes that were destroying you

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lynzishell · 13 days

Note

It's 10+ years in your sims future. Where are they at that time compared to where they are right now in your story?

Ok... so, I may have had a little too much fun with this one, and now I can't wait for li'l Aspen to be a child!!! 🥹🧡

Hi! My name is Aspen, but most people call me Annie, and I’m ten-and-a-half years old.

My mom is a Director at the Dreamer Foundation (whatever that means). And my dad is the Mayor of San Myshuno. They both work a lot. A LOT. I spend most days after school at home alone. Well, not alone alone. My dog, Pepper, is here with me. We play and go for walks. She’s really smart too. My uncle Asher is teaching me how to train her. She already knows how to sit and lay down. Next, I’m going to teach her how to roll over. Asher has a dog too. Her name is Pixel and she’s so cute! Pixel and Pepper are best friends! My best friend is Mei. She’s been my best friend since before I knew the word “best friend”. At least, that’s what my mom says.

Sometimes on the weekends Atlas, Asher, Pixel, Pepper, and me will all go to the Bay to visit Grandma Megan and Grandpa Alex. I love their house! It’s right by the ocean and has the biggest backyard I’ve ever seen! My cousin Spencer lives there too with her mom and stepdad. She’s a teenager, and she’s really cool. She has lots of friends and a boyfriend (but that’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone I told you), and she’s a songwriter. Her and Grandpa Alex are trying to teach me how to play the guitar, but it’s really hard and I’m not very good at it. Sometimes I need a break, so I’ll help Grandma Megan with her plants. She’s teaching me all about plants and flowers and herbs. One day I’m going to have a great big garden!

We always make it back home on Sunday because that’s when me and dad make dinner for everyone. It’s my favorite time of every week! My favorite thing to make is stuffed peppers. We buy them in every color. My favorite is the orange ones. Uncle Atlas likes the green ones. Ew!

Tonight, we were supposed to make risotto, but dad hasn’t come home yet. Mom says he’s stuck at work, but he never works late on Sundays. It’s our night. Atlas said he’d help me make the risotto, but I didn’t want to cook with him. I wanted to cook with my dad. I got really mad and ran to my room and locked the door. I’m not letting anyone in until he gets home. But it’s almost ten o’clock. I'm supposed to be asleep and my tummy is grumbling.

I hope he gets home soon…

#TYSM for the ask!!!#this was so much fun!!#so many spoilers in there #and of course i couldn't resist a cliffhanger #lynzi answers #aries outtakes #aspen realta #pepper realta

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skz317cb97 · 1 year

Text

Almost Lover

Seungmin x Thick female reader

Word count: 5.9K

Synopsis: Falling in love with your best friend, you should've known it would bring you heart ache, almost lovers always do.

A/N: 18+ ONLY! Gah! How the hell is this the last one already! I got a lot of inspiration for this one from One Fine Frenzy's song Almost Lover. I just love doing these thick reader series! You guys are always so excited and responsive and it just makes my heart feel good that people who aren't typically represented are finding comfort in reading my stories about people like them! I hope you guys like this one! If you do, please reblog, like, comment, shoot me an ask whatever I cherish every word you guys send me! As always, warnings and smut below the cut

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI! Cursing/strong language, depictions of depression(its not said outright but it's pretty obvious MC is depressed), protected piv sex, first time, oral (f receiving), I think that's it the last two have been fairly tame as far as smut. If I missed anything please let me know and I'll add it immediately!

You woke up ready for your day determined. You had been sitting on this long enough. You needed to just do it, rip the metaphorical band aid off. You and your best friend Seungmin were both nineteen, had grown up together your whole lives and had just graduated high school. You had the summer to screw off and be kids one more time before college and you didn't want to go through it holding on to this still. You had lost a few nights of sleep as you considered the pros and cons and finally decided that you were going to tell Seungmin that you were in love with him. It was the day of his open house. You planned on spending the day with him, celebrating taking the new step in your lives as adults, and then when it was just the two of you in the evening, you were going to tell him. You went over early to help him and his parents finish setting up before guests started arriving. When you got there Seungmin was buzzing with excitement.

“What are you so giddy about hmmm?” You asked as he smiled ear to ear.

“Nnnope it’s a surprise. Make sure you don’t leave early, okay?” You tried to hide your smile. A surprise? Could Seungmin be planning on confessing to you as well?

“I won’t there’s something I really need to talk to you about after the party tonight.” People started showing up shortly after everything was ready. Family, friends and other loved ones were coming and going all day. Eating, chatting and congratulating Seungmin and you for graduating, both of you with honors, Seungmin valedictorian. Evening came around and the fairy lights came on. Most of Seungmin’s immediate family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents were still there, it was getting late and you hoped you’d get your time alone with him soon. Suddenly Seungmin and his parents were standing up together as they prepared to make an announcement. Seungmin’s mom tried to speak but she got all weepy like she had been on and off all day so his dad spoke up.

“We wanted to thank you all for sticking around. We’re extremely proud of Seungmin for graduating at the top of his class but we’re mostly proud of the man our son has grown into. He’s been holding onto a bit of news that he’s been rather excited about. Seungmin?” This must be his surprise that he’d mentioned. Definitely not a love confession, not in front of everyone. You had no idea what the surprise could be, Seungmin usually told you everything. He came forward, the huge smile that had been plastered on his face all day, still just as prevalent.

“I’m excited to announce that I’ve been accepted into Harvard University with a full academic scholarship! In one week I leave for America!” Seungmin’s family all cheered happy for his wonderful news while your heart shattered. One week?! You didn’t even know he’d been applying to colleges in other countries let alone Harvard. Why had he kept this from you? He got hugs and congratulations from all of his family members and then he walked up to you with his arms out.

“Well?” He was smiling ear to ear. You would never want to see him unhappy, so you put on a brave face.

“That’s fantastic Seungmin, I’m so proud of you.” You hugged him and he squeezed you tightly, his face buried in your neck, yours pressed against his chest. A tear slipped from your eye and you quickly dried it on Seungmin’s shirt before he noticed.

“Thanks y/n. I’m gonna go say goodbye to grandma and grandpa and then we can talk alone like you wanted.” Your heart twisted painfully in your chest.

“Oh it’s nothing important...” Seungmin nodded.

“Sure it is! I’ll be back in just a minute!” You shook your head and he dashed away to send his grandparents off. As soon as you were out of Seungmin’s line of sight, you left. You got in your car and drove away, you could no longer hold off your tears. You didn’t go home, you just drove around and cried. When Seungmin realized you left he tried to call and text you but you had turned your phone off. He called your mom assuming you had gone home.

“Hey Mrs. y/l/n! Is y/n home already?” Your mom was confused, she wasn’t expecting you home until much later.

“No Minnie she was supposed to be at yours fairly late she said.” He hummed.

“Hmmm. She left a while ago my mom said, she should definitely be home by now.” Your mom started to worry a bit.

“Oh my, um... was everything okay when she left?” You mom knew about your feelings for Seungmin and that you’d planned on telling him tonight. She wondered if that had gone badly.

“Yea we were all just celebrating my announcement about being accepted to Harvard, then I talked to her for a minute and then she was gone. I don’t know. We were supposed to talk about something so I was surprised she just left without even a goodbye.” Your mom was shocked.

“Harvard!?” Seungmin chuckled.

“Oh yeah ha, I guess you didn’t know that yet. Yea I leave in a week.” Your mom’s heart broke for you. You must be devastated. It didn’t make her less worried about you either.

“Well congratulations Seungmin, that’s quite an achievement, I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks Mrs. y/l/n. When y/n gets home, will you tell her to call me. She said what she wanted to talk about wasn’t important but when she asked me to talk alone it seemed like it was.”

“Yes Seungmin I’ll have her call.” Your mom said goodbye and hung up with Seungmin to immediately start trying to call you. Straight to voicemail. There would be no use in texting, if it was going straight to voicemail then it was off. She danced on the line of giving you space and worrying sick. She decided if you weren’t home in the next hour, she’d go looking for you, and if she couldn’t find you by tomorrow morning, she was calling the police. Thankfully calling the police wasn’t necessary. About twenty minutes after Seungmin called you walked in the door. Your mom rushed to the foyer to find your face red and tear streaked. Her face fell she knew you were in pain and wished she could take it from you.

“Honey...” You shook your head as the tears, you’d only just got to stop, started welling up again. You didn’t say anything you walked past with your hand up signaling you needed time and headed towards the stairs for your room.

“y/n...” You turned and looked at your mom and as soon as you saw the ‘poor thing’ look on her face you just turned and walked to your room. If she said anything it would only result in you crying uncontrollably again and you just wanted to get into your bed. Which you did and stayed there for days. Your mom messaged Seungmin when you’d gotten home and told him that you weren’t feeling well and that was why you’d left. He was concerned but your mom assured him you’d be okay and said to try tomorrow, which he did, and the next day and the next. Seungmin was busy getting everything together for his move overseas but still called everyday trying to talk to you, to see if you were better. The day Seungmin was leaving your mom came into your room and sat on the edge of your bed. The last few days she’d let you just process, giving Seungmin excuses that you were still not feeling very well. As long as you ate the food she brought you, drank water, and showered, she allowed you to spend your time in your bed, crying on and off between long bouts of sleep. Today he was leaving.

“Sweetie, don’t you at least want to say goodbye?” You buried your face deeper into your pillow as your tears welled again.

“N-no, I-I-I c-can't mom. I... no. If he calls just say I’m still sick or sleeping or a-a-anything I don’t c-care.” You mom took a deep breath. She worried you would regret not saying bye but you were an adult and it was your decision, so she supported you.

“Okay honey, okay. If he calls I’ll tell him. I’ll be back up with lunch a little later okay?” You nodded, your head still pressed into the pillow.

“I love you baby.” You sniffled.

“I love you too mom.” As expected Seungmin called an hour before he had to leave for the airport. Your mom answered.

“No I’m sorry Seungmin she’s still in bed sick.” Seungmin’s heart hurt. He couldn’t leave for another country and not say goodbye to you. You’re the only person he wanted to say goodbye to aside from his family.

“I can just come by for a bit, just to say goodbye.” Your mother sighed a little, hating to have to tell him no. She could hear the pain in his voice.

“No no I don’t think you coming by is a good idea with you having to travel, I’d hate for you to catch...” Seungmin interrupted.

“I’ll wear a mask, I just... I have to say goodbye.” Your mom stood her ground, you had made your choice and she was determined to do as you asked.

“No Minnie I’m sorry sweetie. Why don’t you call once your settled from your travels, she should be better by then.” Seungmin didn’t understand, he was so hurt. Why couldn’t he just say goodbye?

“O-okay Mrs. y/l/n, will you tell her that I’ll miss her and that I’ll call and write as often as possible.” Your mother hummed.

“I will Seungminnie. Be safe traveling sweetie.” They said their goodbyes and that was that. An hour and a half later Seungmin was on a plane to America, and you were curled up in your bed sobbing. After Seungmin left, day by day you were able to drag yourself out of bed for longer periods of time until you had some semblance of a normal life again. What normal was without Seungmin at least. Seungmin wasn’t only your best friend, he was your only friend. Growing up the chubby girl you were picked on a lot and Seungmin was always the one that would stand up for you. You didn’t need anyone else but him. Now you had no one. You were anxious about the next time he called, when he called from America. You weren’t sure if you were ready still. You weren’t sure what you’d say. It turned out that you didn’t need to worry too much. Days, weeks, months went by with no call or letters from Seungmin. If you’d thought your heart was broken before it was ashes now, a shell of what used to be able to hold joy and love. You had started college in the meantime but it hadn’t been going well. You were missing classes, not studying, getting bad grades. By the end of your freshman year you were on academic probation and heading home for the summer. You wouldn’t describe your time at school as happy but going back home ripped open the raw wound that had started to scar over.

It never stopped hurting, you were just able to deal with the hurt more, you got used to the pain. Everything reminded you of Seungmin back home. The ocean, the late night drives you took to try and clear your head, only to drive around aimlessly thinking of the love you could have had. You woke up in your bedroom at your mom’s house every morning with him on your mind. You eventually worked up the courage to call his parents’ house to speak to him, assuming he’d be home for the summer to see family as well but they informed you that he actually wasn’t home this summer and that they hoped he’d be home for the holidays. Maybe it was better that way. You managed to make it through the summer and headed back to your school.

When you came back for the holiday’s you didn’t bother calling the Kim’s and later through the grapevine your mother had found out Seungmin hadn’t come back for the holiday’s opting to stay in America and visit his girlfriend’s family. Girlfriend? He was gone and you were constantly haunted and he was just fine. The wound would never heal it seemed. You skated by year two of college and dreaded two more years of it. It was another summer and another trip back home to visit you mom and see the ghost of your heartbreak everywhere you looked.

You were on your way back home from your summer job when your mom asked you to stop by the convenient store to grab a couple of things. You were walking up an aisle and you heard a familiar voice; one you hadn’t heard in over two years. You looked between the shelves and the next aisle over you saw Seungmin on the phone with, what sounded like his mom, as she tried to direct him to what she needed. You ducked a few more aisles away, quickly grabbed the rest of the things your mother asked for and left. You managed to get out without him seeing you. When you got home your mom met you at the door to grab the groceries you’d picked up and she was concerned when she saw the look that was on your face.

“Sweetie? What’s the matter?” You had a thousand-yard stare but you snapped out of it and answered her.

“I.. uh... saw... Seungmin. At the market.” Your mom put her hand over her heart.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I forgot his mom had mentioned being excited about him coming home this summer. I guess things ended badly with his girlfriend and he was feeling home sick.” You nodded. It was more information than you needed really. He was home, you were home, what did it matter. You hadn’t spoken to each other in two years. That night your mom had her bridge game with her group of girlfriends over at another one of the ladies' houses. Before she left she checked in on you and when you gave her the okay, she headed out for the evening. You were sitting on the couch in the living room reading a book when there was a knock at the door. You set your book down and went to answer it. When you opened the door, there standing in front of you like it had only been a day since last seeing you, was Kim Seungmin. You took a deep shuddering breath.

“Hey.” He said awkwardly. You looked at him and your eyes were so empty. You didn’t seem like the girl he’d grown up with anymore. You weren’t. You were a woman for one not just a scared little girl anymore. You were just as beautiful as you always had been but something that used to burn in your eyes when you looked at him was gone.

“Hi...” You weren't’ sure what else to say. You’d thought a lot about the things you would say to Seungmin if you ever saw each other again but standing there with him in front of you, your mind drew a blank.

“I... uh... I saw you at the convenient store earlier...” More awkward silence.

“I wanted to say hi but you were leaving...” Quiet.

“I... look... y/n, I’m sorry I never called or wrote. When I left I was so hurt that I couldn’t even say goodbye to you. I couldn’t bring myself to call or write at first, then so much time went by and... I don’t know. I just... I need to know... why didn’t you tell me goodbye?” In his mind he might have felt like he deserved an answer but his question angered you.

“Why didn’t I say goodbye?! I... huh...” You laughed incredulously.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving me behind?! Why didn’t you tell me you applied to fucking Harvard!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!?” Tears were streaming down your face. Seungmin had never known that you were hurt by him not telling you. You smiled and congratulated him and then left. He’d thought you were happy for him; he didn’t know.

“I... y/n. I didn’t think I’d get in. The chances were astronomical. I figured I’d just get denied and then we’d end up going to college together and then at least you’d be there to help with the sting of rejection. Then I got the acceptance package and I was in shock. I’d only found out a couple of days before my open house and then I only had a week to prepare and... I just...” He started to get choked up seeing you cry. He never wanted to hurt you. It didn’t make you feel any better, so he hadn’t thought he’d get in still, you were best friends. He should have told you he applied. The damn finally broke, a lifetime of love and two and a half year's worth of pain held inside came out all at once.

“And you were accepted, of course, and didn’t need me.” He shook his head.

“It wasn’t like that y/n...”

“Seungmin... the day of your open house I told you I wanted to talk to you about something. Do you remember that?” He nodded.

“I had finally got the nerve up to tell you that I was in love with you. Then you announced you were going to Harvard and... you broke my heart Seungmin! I loved you so much and you didn’t even tell me. After you made the announcement, you were so happy, so I just pretended to be happy too, but something died inside me that day. I’ve tried to bring it back to life everyday since and I can’t! It was that easy to walk in and out of my life and I couldn’t even bear the thought of not being with you.” You choked on your words as you bawled your eyes out. Seungmin was in shock, probably more so than when he’d gotten that acceptance letter.

“y/n...” You shook your head wiping at your face.

“So there, now you know why I didn’t say goodbye when you left, because if I said goodbye, it would have killed me.” Seungmin had tears welling up in his eyes ready to fall.

“I... I didn’t...”

“I don’t know why I thought you could ever love me, I should have known falling in love with you would bring me heartache, almost lovers always do.”

“y/n...” He didn’t know what to say. There was not one thing to say that would make what he did, what happened, disappear. You sniffled and wiped your face again. You leaned in and softly kissed Seungmin’s lips. A first and last kiss, a kiss goodbye.

“Goodbye Seungmin.” You choked and sobbed and closed the door as Seungmin stood there with his fingers pressed to his lips, tears streaming down his face. That was the only time you saw Seungmin that summer. He’d tried to come by a couple of other times but you made your mom turn him away. You were in your bed again, like it had all happened the day before. It worried your mother so much. When the summer was coming to an end you took off for school a bit earlier to try and get settled. To try and start healing once and for all, hoping that the kiss and saying goodbye could finally bring you some kind of closure, and it did, somewhat.

As quickly as summer had ended Christmas seemed to be upon you. Unbeknownst to your mom, you had saved up a good chunk of your summer job money and used it to buy her a cruise trip for the holiday. She had done so much, sacrificed, worried, she deserved to have a winter in the sun, carefree. She had tried to argue not wanting you to be alone for the holiday’s but you had already spent the money and the ticket was non-refundable. The day she was leaving she called you.

“I want you to call me Christmas day okay?” You laughed a little.

“Okayy mom I will, I promise.” She sighed heavily.

“You know I don’t like leaving you alone.” You were shaking your head even though she couldn’t see it.

“I’ll be fine mom, I’m gonna use the time to finish catching up to get off academic probation, so I’ll be too busy to worry and you will be too, on a cruise! Now get going before you miss your flight.” You could hear your mom getting choked up on the other end of the phone.

“I love you so much sweetie.” You smiled, you had been doing that a bit more lately.

“I love you too mom, have fun and I’ll call you on Christmas.” You did exactly what you had told your mom. You threw yourself into the makeup work you had to complete to get off academic probation. Your counselor had told you, taking a break over the holiday’s would be fine but it was better to keep your mind busy. Christmas day you were elbow deep in text books and papers when you heard a knock on your dorm room door. You got up making your way over, swearing to god that if it was your mother on the other side of that door that you were going to kill her. Instead when you opened your door you saw someone that you never thought you’d see again, Seungmin.

“Merry Christmas.” Your brain was on dial up and took a second to register that he’d said something to you. You sighed heavily all the healing you’d done didn’t matter when he was right in front of you again.

“Seungmin, what are you doing here?” Tears were already pricking your eyes.

“I talked to your mom and she said that you weren’t coming home for Christmas.” You shook your head you didn’t know why that mattered and why your mom hadn’t told you she’d spoken to Seungmin. You pushed your fingers into your eyes.

“I’m not over you yet Seungmin! But I was doing better! Surviving! Can’t you just let me be!? Let me heal!?” You took a gasp of air choking on your tears, you put your hand over your mouth and turned your back on him sobbing. Seungmin walked in, tossed his bag, and closed your door. You turned to tell him to go, to get out, don’t come back. Before any of those words could come out of your mouth Seungmin stepped forward, cupped your cheek and kissed you. Another kiss, one that you never thought you’d have. When he pulled away you were so confused.

“What are you doing Seungmin?” Your words were a whisper now, eyes still glassy with tears.

“I love you y/n, I’m in love with you and I’m so sorry I hurt you, I’m so sorry I truly truly am, I’m sorry. Please forgive me please please! Let me make things right, let me show you how much I love you, how much I always have. Please!” Seungmin was crying and pleading. He had always been such an even keeled guy, in control of his anger and emotions. You’d never seen him so frantic. You stood there on the precipice of maybe the most important decision of your life. Seungmin held your face with both hands and kissed you again. You could taste his salty tears on his lips. You grasped the front of his shirt and kissed him back. You wrapped your arms around him and he tilted his head, deepening your kiss. His tongue trace your lips and when you let out a breathy sigh, he slid his tongue into your mouth. Seungmin wrapped his hands around your soft body and things escalated quickly, hands roaming, groping. He started backing you towards your bed, when the back of your knees hit the mattress you pushed against Seungmin’s chest and he stopped.

“I’m sorry, I... I didn’t mean to...” You pushed your fingers against his lips silencing him.

“It’s okay Minnie.” His heart melted, it had been so long since he’d heard you call him that.

“I... it’s just... I’m... a... virgin.” His warm brown eyes softened.

“Oh. OH! We can stop, I don’t want to pressure you; it was just the heat of the moment and I...” You silenced Seungmin with your lips this time. He wrapped his arms around you tighter, your full breasts pressed against his chest. You pulled away and he gently rubbed his nose against yours.

“I want to. I... just thought you should know, in case... you know... I’m not good at it.” Seungmin’s hand cradled your face and you leaned into the warmth of his touch.

“Baby...” You looked at him and his brow was furrowed, he shook his head and tears started welling up in your eyes again. He kissed you and laid you back on your bed crawling over you. His hands pushed your shirt up and off, you weren’t wearing a bra and Seungmin started blushing. Your full body was so beautiful, every curve of it a work of art. Seungmin started placing soft kisses down your neck and chest, then started to suck on one of your nipples as he pinched and teased the other. Your breaths were coming out short and quiet. You’d never been touched like this before and your whole body was on fire. He let go of one nipple and sucked on the other. You moaned softly and Seungmin’s cock was throbbing in his pants. He was only focused on pleasing you right then, his own pleasure seeming insignificant at the moment.

“MmmMinnie... I feel so funny... light headed.” He moved back up your body and kissed your lips.

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay.” You let out a deep breath and Seungmin’s hands traveled down your soft, plump, body. He untied the drawstring of your sweats and reached into them, pushing your panties aside and sliding his fingers through your dripping cunt. You jumped and gasped at the strange sensation of someone else touching you in such an intimate place.

“Is it okay? Do you want to stop?” You shook your head and took a deep breath.

“No keep going Seungmin, don’t stop.” He swiped your arousal over your clit and you jumped again. The more he did it, the better it felt and the more you got used to his fingers, the less you jumped. He was sucking on your nipples as he fingered you, making sure that any part of your body he could make feel good, he did. He let go of your nipple again to speak.

“I’m gonna put a finger inside okay?” You shook your head, your breathing more labored as things progressed. When Seungmin slid a finger inside you it was a strange but welcome sensation. He started pushing it in and pulling back out, your slick coating it entirely.

“MMMmmm that feels good Seungmin.” He hummed and started to suck on your big breasts again as he continued pumping one finger into you slowly. His lips parted from your skin only to warn you again.

“I’m gonna stick in another, are you ready?” You chewed at your lips nodding.

“Mmhmm.” Seungmin gently and slowly added his second finger, you were so wet it wasn’t difficult to do or take. His longer middle finger now added to the mix, reached and brushed your g spot making you jump again. He made out with your plush body, one hand comforting you as the other worked you open enough that Seungmin would hopefully not hurt you.

“OH!OH! That felt... oh my god!” Seungmin smiled against your skin and pushed his finger inside you again reaching for the same spot, brushing it yet again, forcing a louder moan from you than your others. You clamped your hands over your mouth not wanting everyone on your dorm floor to know you were being pleasured. His fingers pumped in and out of you slowly, gently, his lips never leaving your skin, refusing until he’d kissed every inch of your gorgeous full body. You were writhing underneath him.

“M-more... m-more p-please.” Seungmin started pushing his fingers into you a little faster, with a little more force and it was just what you’d hoped for when you asked for more. You were panting, your soft breasts rising and falling with your breaths.

“Does that feel good baby?” You nodded frantically.

“Yes Minnie yes! Please I’m so close, don’t stop!” Seungmin had no intentions on stopping, no he planned on making your first orgasm a mind blowing experience for you. He moved further down your body as he fingered you open, then ran his tongue through your folds and teased your clit with the tip.

“GOD FUCK!” Your hands came up to your mouth again as you moaned uncontrollably into your palm. Seungmin messily kissed, sucked, and licked your clit while his fingers continued their assault on your g spot. You pulled your hand away from your mouth again panting.

“I... I... I’m... gonna... gonna c-cum...” You managed to get your words out between gasping breaths of air. Seungmin hummed against your pussy and your legs tried to shut around his head as you came hard. Your hips rolling as Seungmin worked you through your orgasm. You were violently trembling as Seungmin pulled his fingers from you and crawled back up your body, kissing your lips as you tried to hard wire your brain to function again. Seungmin’s hands gently ran up and down your curvy body soothing you. When your breathing returned to normal and your eyes opened you saw Seungmin looking down at you. His fingers gently traced the features of your face.

“You okay?” You nodded and gave him a shy smile. You’d never even been naked in front of someone before and now you were naked under the love of your life recovering from your first orgasm. You pushed his bangs, that had grown longer since the last time you’d seen him, away from his face.

“Seungmin... I... I want you. Please.” He shook his head and his heart rate skyrocketed at, not just the idea of being inside you, but also the chance that he might hurt you. He stood and tried to steady his hands as he removed his clothes in front of you. Every bit of skin that was revealed to you made your cunt ache. He was about to climb on top of you again, your legs spread open, and you stopped him.

“Um... condom? I’m not on the pill or anything.” He nodded.

“Oh of course yea.” He dug into the satchel that he’d had tossed as soon as he’d entered your dorm and retrieved a condom. He walked back over and kneeled on your bed between your thick thighs. You watched as he stroked his cock from base to tip a few times before ripping open the condom and rolling it down his length. He braced himself over you, his tip lined up with your entrance. He leaned down and kissed you so tenderly the empty shell your heart had been for so long was full again.

“Are you ready?” You nodded, biting your bottom lip and looking down at where the two of you were about to meet. He caressed your face and you looked into his eyes again.

“You’re sure?” You nodded and Seungmin’s thumb traced the apple of your cheek. He shook his head. The hand that had been on your face reached between the two of you and you looked down again as he started to slowly push his tip inside you.

“Okay?” You moaned a little feeling him.

“MMhmm feels good, keep going.” Seungmin nodded and started to push into you deeper. You could start to feel the stretch and sting the deeper he went. You winced a little and he stopped, afraid to hurt you.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” You ran your fingers through his hair and pulled him down into a deep, passionate kiss.

“It’s okay Minnie, doesn't hurt just... go slow.”

“I will baby, we don’t have to rush. We have the rest of our lives.” You teared up hearing him say that he pictured forever with you. He pushed into you fully, the curve of his cock perfectly rubbing against your that tender part inside you, and a tear rolled down your cheek. Seungmin brushed it away with his thumb and before if he could ask if he was hurting you, you spoke.

“Feels so good Seungmin, it feels... right... like a piece I was missing is finally in place. Please... move baby.” Seungmin��s body erupted in goosebumps when you used the pet name. He listened and slowly drug his cock out and pushed back in.

“Like that?” You moaned again.

“Yes Minnie! Just like that... faster...” He pulled out and pushed in with a little more force and you wrapped your thick legs around him.

“Oh my god y/n you feel so good... fuck... s-so good.” You pulled Seungmin down into another kiss gently tugging on his hair as he started to fuck you at a steady rhythm.

“Yes yes yes... oh Seungmin oh oh fuck!” Hearing the pleasure you were in only made him want to make you cum again that much more.

“I’m gonna make you cum again baby, cum for me.” One of his hands reached between you again and started teasing your clit. He felt you clench around his dick and he let out a strangled moan.

“Fuuuck s-squeezing me s-so tight... fuck.” He rubbed your clit faster as he started to snap his hips into yours harder. Your breasts and body jiggled every time he pushed his cock into you, harder, faster. You could feel the pressure mounting inside you again.

“I’m... I’m... fuck... don’t stop!” Seungmin teased your clit faster, feeling him full inside you brushing your g spot again and again.

“COM-ING I’M CO-COM-ING OH FUCK! MINNIE OH MY GOD!” You no longer cared who heard, most everyone was gone on holiday anyway. You screamed his name as your pussy juices coated his cock. He braced himself with both hands again hovering over you as he fucked you hard, chasing his high. You wrapped your arms around him and kissed him. You started pleading against his lips in between kisses and breaths.

“Cum for me Seungmin... want... want to make you feel good. Please baby cum for me.” Seungmin choked out a moan, his hips stuttered losing rhythm as he came, filling the condom. You were both sweating, shaking, out of breath, his forehead pressed to yours. When he softened inside you he pulled out and got rid of the condom, then climbed back into your bed and held your soft naked body against his. His fingertips tracing across your skin. You sighed and looked up at Seungmin who had the sweetest sadness in his eyes.

“I thought you were a hopeless dream...” You kissed his lips.

“Thank you.” Tears were rimming his eyes and yours.

“Why would you thank me baby? I hurt you... I have so much to make up for... so much lost time...” You shook your head.

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“We do but it could be so much worse, we could have missed out on us, we could have been almost lovers...” A tear slipped from Seungmin’s eye and you brushed it away with your thumb and kissed his lips.

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