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liskantope · 6 years

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“Can” vs. “can’t” feminism

At the American Democrat activism event I attended last week, several political clips of commentary and satire were prepared and shown, with the chosen finale being the recently viral song of otherwise-little-known artist Lynzy Lab called “A Scary Time”. I sat a bit uncomfortably in my chair, having avoided commenting on that choice of clip when it was being discussed in the email exchange beforehand. It occurred to me that my issues with the song reflect one of my main issues with modern feminist rhetoric which I’ve probably alluded to on this blog several times and was planning to write more of an effortpost about eventually. This song so perfectly illustrates it that I might as well do that effortpost now, I suppose.

Let me start with some disclaimers so as not to be misleading about my general position: I think that the song exhibits a very well-done form of satire that I respect to the point that I’m willing to overlook the uncharitable portrayal of men’s fears (because a little uncharitability is fair game in that type of satire, I think); I find the president’s “This is a scary time for men!” comment that inspired it to be asinine (at least using that precise phrasing in that context); and I’m all for women rising up and voting this November 6th in opposition to this asininity as the artist implores them to do at the end of the song.

However. [Long post to follow, loosely organized and written over several days.]

The other organizers of the event where this song was shown heaped lavish praise on it for “making such a good point”. And the thing is, I’d probably agree with them and see the song as completely unobjectionable -- or maybe a little hyperbolic, but what the heck, it’s satire -- if it weren’t for the context in which I place that feminist message among the general flavor of feminist messages I’m receiving on a daily basis that the other people there possibly aren’t. Age might have something to do with it; the other organizers are a generation older than me and I was clearly the youngest in the whole party. I make this speculation because I’ll be mentioning age and different generational perspectives later.

Anyway, without further preamble, what bothers me about this song, in the context with one of the general themes of today’s feminist rhetoric, is (to put it maybe overly bluntly) the particular way it portrays women are weak and/or even promotes weakness in women.

As far as I can tell, feminist rhetoric didn’t used to be this way. A generation ago, it was pretty much all about how women are strong and able and capable of doing anything a man can do. It was a “women can” type of feminism. This more modern type of feminism seems to be all about “women can’t”, as evidenced by a song written and sung by a woman who starts out every line with “I can’t”. Of course, this is an uncharitable way to look at it. There’s an obvious well-intentioned reason for all this I-can’t-ism*, which is that in order to get the message across about how serious a particular form of oppression is, it’s sometimes necessary to highlight how badly the victims are affected by it in a way that often boils down to them being unable (in some sense of the word) to do things that those with more privilege are able to do. But however noble the intentions behind the rhetoric are, I still have the right to be annoyed and worried about the consequences of taking it too far.

Since I consider the song such a useful example, I’m going to pick into some of the lyrics so as better to explain on a concrete level exactly my beef with all this.

If you want to quickly get to the main point of this post, feel free to skip this part. (Actually, I feel like the tone may detract from my real objective and am hesitant to leave it in. But aside from enjoying expressing the occasional snark, I’m curious to hear any responses/explanations from someone with some typical women’s experiences.)

Let me start by saying that a few of these lines, if not taken too literally (especially the “I can’t” part) seem probably valid, e.g. can’t go to the club just to dance with friends (if you don’t want to be hit on); can’t leave drinks unattended (at least in many bar/club scenes). Maybe some others are valid as well and I’m blinded from seeing that from male privilege, in some sense of that term. Certainly there are a couple of lines that just seem bizarre and make little sense to me, perhaps because I’m a man: “I can’t wear a mini skirt if it’s the only one I own” and “I can’t be wearing silk pajamas when I answer the door”.

The very first line similarly had me scratching my head: “I can’t walk to my car late at night while on the phone”, specifically the “on the phone” part. After thinking about it for a while, I realized it probably reflects a notion that one is safer from violent assaults when both hands are completely free to defend oneself. I’m not sure that this makes sense from a purely physical point of view (we’re talking about a small but heavy object that one can drop or throw at a moment’s notice), and I’m definitely skeptical that it makes sense when one considers that being on the phone makes it easier to call for help. In fact, I think the main reason I’m so confused is that I remember in my early days of walking outside late at night, in situations where I felt uncomfortable and worried for my safety, I remember my then-girlfriend suggesting to me that talking on the phone would make me safer; a potential assailant would be more worried about the consequences of attacking someone who might have a friend or family member on the other end of the line. I’m not sure that is entirely valid either. It’s just not clear to me what the safest approach is. But that song lyric suggests to me that, validly or not, at least since the time that my girlfriend was trying to help me stay safer over a decade ago, The Womanhood has come to the consensus that it’s unsafe to walk in the dark while on the phone and maybe my ex-girlfriend now knows this and if I were a woman I’d know it too?

Now let’s move on to what strikes me as the most preposterous line in the whole song: “I can’t use public transportation after 7pm”. Wait... what?? After the end of the political event where the video was shown, which was sometime past 10pm, I went home on the metro and -- lo and behold -- there were plenty of women on board. Sarcasm and overly-literal uncharitableness aside, suggesting that women have to face some intolerable risk or nuisance just by taking a bus or metro in the early evening seems like a reckless exaggeration. Maybe the artist just wanted a two-syllable number so that the line would scan better, but replacing that number by 10 or 11 wouldn’t affect the scanning that badly and in fact “past 11″ scans as well as “after 7″. Clearly, aiming for something that doesn’t sound ridiculously exaggerated (or that doesn’t scare girls inexperienced enough not to know how ridiculously exaggerated it is) was not one of Linzy Lab’s priorities.

(Just imagine if that line were really true, and the drastically restricted lifestyle a city woman would then be forced to have! If there were a legal 7pm curfew for women (the kind of thing some women within my radar hint they would like to see for men), that would practically amount to women being second-class citizens, and even without legality behind it they would still be right to feel that way in essence. Which I guess is precisely the sentiment the artist wanted to convey.)

One more line to pick apart before I move on. The final “I can’t” of the song is “I can’t ever speak earnestly about all these fears”. I’d be interested to know how everyone who endorses this line interprets it. As referring to not being able to speak out about one’s fears in some sort of uber-conservative bubble that routinely dismisses all concerns about women’s physical safety? How many Lynzy-Lab-type artists or American Democrats are stuck in that bubble? Again I suppose I wouldn’t know, but I can guess that most women with the fears expressed in the song speak earnestly about them on a regular basis with their woman friends and (this is important!) may well have gained some of those fears from other women or the general rhetoric in whatever left-wing circles they’ve hung around. And Lynzy Lab herself is performing an entire song earnestly expressing those fears in a YouTube video, one which immediately went viral and got her a performing spot on Jimmy Kimmel!

The way I feel about I-can’t-ism based on evidently exaggerated dangers boils down to this: when citing evidence to make a point (however valid or important), one should aim to convey the truth, exactly the truth, and nothing beyond the truth. (I suppose this is a variant on opposition to the “arguments are soldiers” mentality.)

Here are what I see as the main consequences of straying beyond the truth:

1) Possibly strengthened fervor of the cause (witness the effects of the president’s constant delusional fear-mongering).

(This is positive from the point of view of whatever cause one is fighting for, I suppose, but to the extent that the cause is based on claims that aren’t factual I’m not entirely in favor of it, and we’re going to be better equipped to go about actually fixing whatever the problem is if the fight to fix it is based on facts.)

2) An at-least-equal and opposite strengthened fervor in opposition to the cause. In particular, the more blatantly far from the truth the fearful rhetoric is, the more ammunition the opposition is given.

3) Overblown fears among the community one is trying to protect, and greater limitations because of those fears, especially among younger and less experienced members of that community. (I wonder how many more teenage girls just setting out into the world of being independent now have an idea that violent men are lurking around every corner and they mustn’t use public transportation past 7pm because they watched Linzy Lab’s song.)

4) Less strength in dealing with and worse reactions to everyday dangers or the ambient fear of them. I once discussed this a bit more at length.

I suppose (4) deserves a bit more delving into, in the context of Lynzy Lab’s song. One naïve way to criticize it is to point out (as I already pointed out in passing with some lines) that every one of the “I can’t” lines refers to something that women can do and in fact women do do... all the time! A defender of the song might reply, “Oh don’t be so pedantic and literal-minded! Obviously when someone in that context says, ‘I can’t X’, what they mean is ‘I can’t X without running the risk of suffering Y’.” But in my opinion, for questions of agency and ability it’s conducive of clearer thinking to start by taking “can’t” statements as literally as possible, because that sets us up for the above opposing point, which exposes that a potential question of the degree of risk and suffering has been obfuscated. “I can’t X” is essentially shorthand in many contexts for “Doing X puts me at an unacceptably high risk of an unacceptable level of suffering.”

And we should be able to consciously acknowledge that the amount of risk and the amount of suffering are tricky things to evaluate and might be up for debate. I’ve already focused on the amount of risk often being exaggerated or less clear than many activists make out that it is. Evaluating the amount of suffering as a result of various oppressive behaviors (e.g. catcalling, minor sexual assaults) is much more fraught with potentially insensitive and obnoxious discourse, and I just want to make clear that the type of reaction a woman (or anyone else) has to these things varies depending on the woman herself and an array of background circumstances** which are largely outside of her control and not her fault. But it might be helpful for women (and non-women) to see a possibility that they won’t necessarily suffer in the worst possible way from the range of horrible behavior they might face, that their degree of suffering depends on a lot of individual factors and if those are favorable might even be quite minimal.

My complaint isn’t that activists arguing for social change don’t always cite justification perfectly factually or that they might go a bit overboard in expressing their genuinely-held beliefs. It’s that pretty much nobody ever seems conscious of the risks in (1)-(4) above or at all mindful of a “don’t exaggerate” self-checking that should be present alongside “don’t downplay” and “don’t be timid and hesitant about telling it like it is”.

Is it really the case that feminism has evolved from focusing on “women can” a generation or to ago to the “women can’t” that seems prevalent today?

It’s hard for me to say, because while I’ve certainly noticed a change over the last 15 years, I wasn’t around for the feminism of the 60′s or even of the 80′s. I have to rely on the way I hear old-school feminism described by older people (it would also be nice if I read some feminist literature or followed some more layman-oriented discussions from those periods). I do often think back to something one of the middle-aged female professors in my old math department said to a group of us who were meeting to organize a department seminar to discuss diversity issues. I can’t remember her precise words or the context in which she brought this up, but to my best recollection it went something like this:

The whole time I was growing up and going to university and studying mathematics and engineering, it seemed like everyone was telling me all the ways I could be like a man. All I ever heard was “Women are as strong as men!” and “Women can learn and understand anything that a man can!” and “Women can do the same work that men can!” And then one day I woke up and had the sudden realization, “But wait a minute... I’m not a man! I’m a woman! Why should it be my goal at every turn to be more like a man?”

That speech touches on some other issues, and I don’t mean to shoehorn it too hard into the thesis of this post, but it’s an example of what I see as a “women can” mentality of women’s-lib-era (maybe second-wave?) feminism. Other anecdotes, along with the general way that older people in my life talk about women’s issues, suggest the same.

So why did feminism change from an emphasis on “women can” to “women can’t”?

One reasonable explanation that comes to mind is that the civil rights issues for women have themselves changed. (This would also apply to a similar evolution in the rhetoric for other social justice causes.) Sixty years ago, feminists were fighting for women to have legal rights to do things and societal acceptance of them doing those things. This lent itself to a message of “women can do everything men can do, don’t assume someone is incapable because she’s a woman”. Nowadays those rights have mostly been secured in the West, and the main grievance on the part of women is having to deal with various kinds of oppression (of a sort of that doesn’t involve society disallowing women to do something on the grounds that they’re incapable because of their gender). This can be overly-simplistically divided into opposition to reproductive rights (which has nothing to do with a perception that being female makes someone incapable of doing something, it’s just an oppressive restriction on what one is allowed to do and so we’re just left with “women can’t”), and having to deal with oppressive behavior (mostly in the department of sexual harassment/violence, which again leads to “women can’t”).

While that is part of it, I’m convinced that the evolution from “can” feminism to “can’t” feminism is part of a much more general movement being led by younger generations -- specifically, my generation of millennials and the generation just below mine -- which is tied in with the largely internet-driven de-stigmatization of mental illness, identity politics, preoccupation with labels, and other things. Those who have read other posts of mine probably have an idea of where this is going, and for me to fully explain where I make the connection would be another post in itself, but this is my theory about what drives the culture gap between generations as well the clash between old-school feminist rhetoric and the modern kind. It still makes sense to say, okay, why has this general change been brought about? I would posit that it’s a combination of what I suggested in the last paragraph, plus an increased understanding and culture of accommodation for emotional suffering and trauma which is naturally part of the arc of progress that carries us in the direction of Niceness, plus the usual dash of “rise of social media” thrown in. The result, in this case, is a somewhat ironic tendency for younger activists to characterize America as a much more terrifying place for women than older women who remember objectively scarier times do.

I don’t mean to fault “can’t” feminism entirely, of course. To some extent it makes sense, for reasons I already gestured at. But I do feel that if it’s dominating the rhetoric to the point that a woman’s song with two entire verses of lines starting with “I can’t” is representative of the discourse on gender oppression, then it might be time to revisit the roots of feminism as conveying the (I would think more empowering) message of how strong, capable, and independent women can be.

* I’m also in the habit of using a different term which is alluded to in the tags.

** I’ll be just obnoxious enough to suggest that one of these background circumstances is how much fear-inducing rhetoric one has been exposed to!

#feminism #Our Current president #2018 midterms #high vs. low agency #millennials on the internet #not as charitable as I could be

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kindaoffkilter · 6 years

Video

youtube

Lynzy Lab

“It's a very scary time for men and boys. So I wrote a song about it. It goes like this!”

I CAN’T WALK TO MY CAR LATE AT NIGHT WHILE ON THE PHONE

I CAN’T OPEN UP MY WINDOWS WHEN I’M HOME ALONE

I CAN’T GO TO A BAR WITHOUT A CHAPERONE

AND I CAN’T WEAR A MINI SKIRT IF ITS THE ONLY ONE I OWN

I CAN’T USE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AFTER 7 PM

I CAN’T BE BRUTALLY HONEST WHEN YOU SLIDE INTO MY DMS

I CAN’T GO TO THE CLUB JUST TO DANCE WITH MY FRIENDS

AND I CAN’T EVER LEAVE MY DRINK UNATTENDED

BUT IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR BOYS

YEAH GENTLEMEN! BAND TOGETHER, MAKE SOME NOISE

ITS REALLY TOUGH WHEN YOUR REPUTATION’S ON THE LINE

AND ANY WOMAN YOU’VE ASSAULTED COULD TURN UP ANYTIME

YEAH, IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR GUYS

CAN’T SPEAK TO ANY WOMEN OR LOOK THEM IN THE EYES

ITS SO CONFUSING, IS IT RAPE OR IS IT JUST BEING NICE?

SO INCONVENIENT THAT YOU EVEN HAVE TO THINK TWICE

I CAN’T LIVE IN AN APARTMENT IF IT'S ON THE FIRST FLOOR

I CAN’T BE WEARING SILK PAJAMAS WHEN I ANSWER THE DOOR

I CAN’T HAVE ANOTHER DRINK EVEN IF I WANT MORE

I CAN’T MAKE YOU FEEL INVALID, UNSEEN, OR IGNORED

I CAN’T JOG AROUND THE CITY WITH HEADPHONES ON MY EARS

I CAN’T SPEAK OUT AGAINST MY RAPIST AFTER 35 YEARS

I CAN’T BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IF I'M HOLDING BACK TEARS

AND I CAN’T EVER SPEAK EARNESTLY ABOUT ALL MY FEARS

BUT IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR DUDES

CAN’T TEXT A GIRL REPEATEDLY ASKING FOR NUDES

CAN’T MAKE HER HAVE SEX WHEN SHE’S NOT IN THE MOOD

AND WHAT GIVES HER THE RIGHT TO GIVE YOU ATTITUDE??

YEAH, IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR MEN

GIRLS LIKE TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE TO BLAME AND THEY’RE THE VICTIMS

HER DRESS WAS SHORT AND SHE WAS DRUNK, SHE’S NOT SO INNOCENT

THANK GOD YOUR DAD’S THE JUDGE AND YOU WON’T BE CONVICTED

OH WAIT...THAT’S RIGHT…

IT’S NOT SUCH A SCARY TIME FOR BOYS

THEY’VE ALWAYS HAD THE UPPER HAND,

THEY’VE ALWAYS HAD A CHOICE

IT’S TIME FOR WOMEN TO RISE UP,

USE OUR COLLECTIVE VOICE THE DAY TO VOTE’S NOVEMBER 6,

SO LET’S GO MAKE SOME NOISE

#GO VOTE #lynzy lab #rape mention

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lynzishell · 3 months

Note

💌 Post 4 pictures from Pinterest that describe your OC. Send this to 3 other simmers to keep the chain going if you want!

💖Thank you both so much @pralinesims and @bubblepopsims for sending me this ask!! Just one sec... I'll go grab some pics!

Me: Hey guys! Asher: What the hell?! Me: I was just wondering—Wait, Ash, how are you laying like that? The couch doesn’t have arms, that can’t be comfortable. Asher: None of your business! I swear, you’re worse than Iris! Me: Ouch. Asher: At least she knocks. Incessantly, but still. Me: Right. My bad. Asher: Look, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m having a bit of a rough week. Can I not just have some time alone with my boyfriend? Me: Of course, of course. I just got these asks to share some Pinterest pics, and I’ve already shared the individual ones so I thought, hey, wouldn’t it be cute to share some from your joint board? Atlas: If we say yes, will you leave us alone? Me: Absolutely! Well, for a little while at least. I’ll be hopping in game later and you’re both in the next scene sooo… Asher: Whatever. Just do what you need to do. Me: Thanks!! Atlas: [whispering] Why is she so obsessed with us? Asher: [shrugs] No idea. Atlas: She does have a point though, that doesn’t look comfortable. Do you want to come sit over here? Asher: [smirks] I’ll come sit on— Me: Got ‘em! Ok, thanks guys, I really appreciate it. I’ll see you later!

#TYSM for the ask #they get more than 4 cos there's two of them hehe #lynzi answers #ask game #oc ask game #atlas extras #asher extras #aries outtakes

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xserpentlife · 5 years

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greeeeen 🐍🥎🐸🦖🦎🐢🐛🐊🐾🐲🌵🎄🌿🌱🌴🌳🌲☘️🍀🎍🎋🍃🍏🥝🥬🥒🎾💚

Oooo love the emojis

green: what’s your favorite thing to do outside? Probsbly swimming

do you like camping? Yes and no I hate bugs and I hate really hot so I’d camp Probsbly in the fall if I did

what would you spend $1,000 on? A camera, computer or soemthin

what’s your job I work at an axe throwing place but I also do photogroahy and full time I’m a student or what do you want to do as your job? I wanna do photogroahy full time

what’s your favorite article of clothing? Flannels

#ask me #lynzie answers

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milsotherapy · 6 years

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We decided to do Christmas early since we won’t be together for it and we both ruined each other’s gifts. He got me a gorgeous earring and necklace set from the NEX. I mean it’s stunning. Only problem is when I put one of the earrings in for the first time the post broke off. He didn’t keep the receipt because he didn’t want me looking to see how much he spent but we wanna try to take it back there and be like what the heck. Think they’ll work with us? I mean it’s not like I used it wrong

Anon we’re not a store, you can call and see if they will or have someone fix it. but unless you take it there and do it yourself, we cant really answer that

~Lynzie

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ossyuche · 5 years

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Redefining White Male Privilege So White Men Don’t Get Upset

I made a conscious choice to stay away from the Kavanagh hearings, given the toxicity of the political climate. But recently, I’ve had a few dispiriting conversations with friends who were upset with the concepts of white privilege and male privilege and I wanted to share them with you here.

The term “white privilege” FEELS very insulting to a man suffering from poor health, poor lifestyle choices, poor job opportunities, etc. The assertion that “white men” are the problem and their “privilege” allows them to lead perfect, carefree lives seems tone-deaf to the vast majority of white men who struggle in some ways. These guys find the terminology and blanket attacks on “whites” and “men” to be tone-deaf and off-base. And for political purposes, I agree. You’re not convincing any white men of the righteousness of your cause if you constantly attack white men.

However, when I dug deeper in conversations with my moderately conservative friends, they completely agreed that both women and minorities have a tougher go of things. They will never know what it’s like to be concerned with safety in a parking lot or what it’s like to have a taxi refuse to pick them up because of their skin color.

Which means that these white men are not in denial of “white male privilege,” but rather, disagree with its judgmental nomenclature. In fact, they’d back the concept completely if it was framed as “women and minority disadvantage” because it would acknowledge the broader societal unfairness without tarring all white men as part of the problem.

I agree with this from a branding standpoint for the social justice/identity politics left. You don’t get any closer to peace when you treat people as “others” or “enemies.” Telling underprivileged people that they are privileged is bound to hit a raw nerve – and lose you some pretty important elections.

On the other hand, I feel very strongly about sharing this video with the men who read this blog, who should learn similar sensitivity and empathy for women as I’m asking women to have for men. This song is called “A Scary Time,” and I was touched by its simplicity, eloquence and power. The lyrics (by Lynzy Lab) are below.

[Verse 1] I can’t walk to my car late at night while on the phone I can’t open up my windows when I’m home alone I can’t go to the bar without a chaperone I can’t wear a mini-skirt if it’s the only one I own I can’t use public transportation after 7pm I can’t be brutally honest when you slide into my DMs I can’t go to the club just to dance with my friends And I can’t ever leave my drink unattended

[Chorus] But it sure is a scary time for boys Yeah, gentlemen band together make some noise It’s really tough when your reputation’s on the line And any woman you’ve assaulted could turn up any time Yeah, it sure is a scary time for guys Can’t speak to any woman or look her in the eyes It’s so confusing, is it rape or is it just being nice? So inconvenient that you even have to think twice

[Verse 2] I can’t live in an apartment if it’s on the first floor I can’t be wearing silk pajamas when I answer the door I can’t have another drink even if I want more And I can’t make you feel invalid, unseen, or ignored I can’t jog around the city with headphones on my ears I can’t speak out against my rapist after 35 years I can’t be taken seriously if I’m holding back tears And I can’t ever speak earnestly about all these fears

[Chorus] Cause it sure is a scary time for dudes Can’t text a girl repeatedly asking for nudes Can’t make a girl have sex when she’s not in the mood And what gives her the right to give you attitude? Yeah it sure is a scary time for men Girls like to act like you’re to blame and they’re the victim Her dress was short and she was drunk she’s not so innocent Thank God your dad’s the judge and you won’t be convicted

[Spoken] Oh, that’s–oh that’s right Oh, yeah yeah yeah

[Chorus] Cause it’s not such a scary time for boys They’ve always had the upper hand, they’ve always had a choice It’s time for women to rise up, use our collective voice The day to vote’s November 6th, so let’s go make some noise

Women come to this site to understand men. Men who are here should know: acknowledging women’s truths makes you MORE of a man, not less. Not to mention that makes you a much better partner than if you’re constantly blaming women for your dating woes.

Your thoughts, below, are always appreciated.

The post Redefining White Male Privilege So White Men Don’t Get Upset appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/uncategorized/redefining-white-male-privilege-so-white-men-dont-get-upset

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silentwine · 7 years

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get to know me tag

tagged by; @sarcasticwanderlust

rules; answer the 20 questions and tag people you want to get to know better!

name; luca nicknames; male zodiac sign; libra height; 5′6″ orientation; gay nationality; american favourite fruit; grapes favourite season; fall favourite book; aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe favourite flower; dark coloured dahlias favourite scent; idk like. certain kinds of light cologne favourite colour; red nd black favourite animal; sharks!! coffee - tea - hot cocoa; tea and coffee average sleep hours; eh around like 4-6 cat or dog person; both favourite fictional character; alex standall number of blankets you sleep with; 1 dream trip; id love to go to germany or kazakhstan

blog created; around 2014 i believe number of followers; 249

random fact; my mom thought i was gay before i did

ill tag: @yaymie @shittysolutions @yaxxm @miiikk @acejoki @boyfriendmachine @lynzy

#get to know me

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lynzishell · 3 months

Note

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

YAY! TYSM for this ask! 🫶🏻 Today we get to talk about one of my faves: ✨Atlas Stephens✨

🩵He’s perfectly comfortable sitting in silence, alone or with others. There are few things he hates more than people trying to make awkward small talk in order to fill the silence, or out of a perceived obligation to interact. Probably the only thing he hates more than that are those stupid get-to-know-you games where you go around the room and you have to share five facts about yourself. (Sorry, Atlas.) He's not necessarily shy though. He has no problem talking to people when he has something to say, or he genuinely wants to get to know someone.

🩵He is, however, incredibly introverted and overwhelmed easily by bright lights, colors, and crowded spaces. At the end of the day, he’s just trying to conserve his energy and keep his mind calm. One of the ways he does this is by making his apartment as peaceful and calming as possible. It’s always clean, but also cozy, with just the right amount of plants and clutter. And the color palette is light wood, grayscale, and light blues… kind of like a cloudy sky. His favorite color is a pale blue-gray.

🩵I don’t think anything brings him pure joy the way being an uncle does. He loves his nieces with his whole heart and soul. While he doesn’t see himself being a dad, he fully embraces being an uncle. I feel like him and Spencer will be close forever, and I’m sure the same will be true for Aspen.

🩵He loves music. There’s almost always music playing in his apartment, or through earbuds while he’s out for a run or working. He tends to listen to the same stuff over and over, rarely adding anything new to his carefully curated playlist… which consists of 80’s new wave… and is mostly New Order, which is his hands-down his favorite band. His favorite song? Your Silent Face. It’s the best, and he won’t be taking any questions on that fact. Moving on…

🩵He also loves to sing and has a beautiful voice. Since he’s so quiet and reserved most of the time, keeping his thoughts to himself, something about singing loudly feels really freeing and cathartic. He and Asher also enjoy dancing, so there’s a fair amount of singing and dancing and being silly together in their apartment. I don’t think Atlas ever expected to live with someone after Dawn moved out, but he’s very happy that Asher moved in. He brings so much life and energy to their home, creating a lovely balance.

#tysm for the ask 💖#once again i give you twenty facts disguised as five #because i don't know how to not ramble on about them forever #lynzi answers #ask game #oc ask game #aries outtakes #atlas extras

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nomdeplay · 7 years

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26 Daughters

As usual, copied from the Nameberry Forums. my answers below.

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You have 26 daughters - one for every letter of the alphabet. You choose middle names.

A: Addison, Alexandra, Amethyst, Aria, Ashley, Astra, Aurora, Autumn, Avery, Azalea B: Beatrix, Blaire, Blake, Brenna, Bridgette, Brielle, Briley, Bristol, Brooke, Brynn C: Calliope, Carly, Carrie, Cassandra, Charlotte, Clementine, Cleo, Codie, Colbie, Coraline D: Daisy, Dakota, Danni, Daphne, Deanna, December, Delilah, Destiny, Devin, Dylan E: Echo, Eden, Elsa, Emerson, Emmeline, Erica, Erin, Eudora, Evangeline, Everly F: Fable, Fae, Faith, Fatima, Felicity, Fiona, Fleur, Flora, Francesca, Freida G: Gabrielle, Gage, Gemma, Genesis, Gennifer, Ginger, Goldie, Grace, Grey, Gwendolyn H: Hadley, Harmony, Harper, Hazel, Heather, Helena, Hermione, Hollie, Hunter I: Idina, Imogen, India, Indigo, Ireland, Iris, Isabella, Isadora, Isla, Ivy J: Jacqueline, Jade, Jamie, Janie, Jessa, Jezebel, Johanna, Jordan, Juliette, Justice K: Kaleigh, Kasey, Katniss, Kayla, Kendall, Kennedy, Kenzie, Kimber, Koraline, Kyla L: Lauren, Leia, Leslie, Lexi, Lila, Logan, Lola, Lucille, Luna, Lynzie M: Mae, Mara, Marina, Mathilda, Maxine, Meagyn, Melanie, Mickey, Molly, Morgan N: Nadine, Natalie, Nevaeh, Niamh, Nina, Niya, Noemi, Norah, Nour, Nova O: Oakley, Oceane, Octavia, Odyssia, Olive, Olivia, Olympia, Opal, Ophelia, Orchid P: Padme, Paige, Paisley, Patricia, Pepper, Peyton, Phoenix, Piper, Poppy, Preston Q: Quandra, Quarry, Queenie, Quenby, Quentin, Querida, Quincy, Quinn, Quintessa, Quora R: Rachael, Rae, Raven, Reagan, Reese, Riley, Rory, Rosemary, Rowena, Ruby S: Sammie, Sapphire, Savannah, Scarlett, Shannon, Skylar, Slater, Spencer, Starr, Summer T: Tamara, Tegan, Tenley, Thalia, Thea, Theresa, Tibbian, Tori, Trinity, Tyler U: Udelle, Ulla, Umbria, Una, Unique, Unity, Urban, Urielle, Ursula, Utopia V: Valentina, Valenica Vanessa, Vera, Veronica, Victoria, Vienna, Violeta, Virginia, Vivienne W: Waverly, Wednesday, Wendi, West, Whitney, Wilhelmina, Willow, Winslow, Wren, Wynter X: Xanthe, Xanthippe, Xaviera, Xelda, Xena, Xinnia, Xiomara, Xoie, Xora, Xyler Y: Yara, Yazmeen, Ynez, Yoko, Yolanda, York, Ysabelle, Ysla, Yvette, Yvonne Z: Zadie, Zaina, Zara, Zendaya, Zenobia, Zhara, Zelda, Zoey, Zora, Zuri

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A: Aurora Jane B: Brenna Vivian C: Charlotte Minerva D: Delilah Remy E: Evangeline Inez F: Francesca Maeve G: Grace Adeline H: Hazel Eleanor I: Imogen Estelle J: Juliette Indigo K: Kennedy Rose L: Lila Josephine M: Molly Madilyn N: Nova Renee O: Oceane Audrey P: Paisley Ann Q: Quinn Genevieve R: Ruby Jessamine S: Scarlett Renata T: Tegan Cressida U: Umbria Mae V: Veronica Ivy W: Willow Agate X: Xanthe Azalea Y: Yvette Cora Z: Zora Marceline

#baby name game #alphabet game #baby names

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xserpentlife · 5 years

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13 and 23!! 💕

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Uhm I came to my grandmas house and scared the crap out of my little cousin who then proceeded to slam onto me to give me a hug like full blown squeeze me it was super cute

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

Write, scroll through tumblr or watch tv haha

#ask lynzie #lynzie answers #lynzie talks

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riichardwilson · 4 years

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Why Entrepreneurs Should Choose Insights Over Instincts

The importance of data-driven decision-making.

May 8, 2020 5 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

In 2017, humanity generated more than 2.5 quintillion bytes of data by the day. According to the minds at Harvard Business School, it’s never been easier for businesses of all sizes to collect, analyze and interpret data into real, actionable insights. Companies wanting to successfully scale their operations should make the effort to understand that data on a much deeper level.

Related: The Insane Amounts of Data We’re Using Every Minute (Infographic)

Fully understanding the needs of your consumer enables you to provide them with the specific products and services they may be looking for, resulting in optimal business decisions surrounding exactly how, when and what to sell them. This is a fundamental aspect of creating and operating a business. Data-driven decision-making is simply focusing on the needs of your target market and executing on those requests before they are made.

All data is not created equal

“I think people just don’t understand the value in qualitative research,” says Lynzie Riebling, vice president of insights and strategy at Revolt TV. Riebling, whose background is in psychology and marketing, explained to me the level of “quant bias” she’s seen in the entertainment industry. “We are programmed as humans to think if something is quantified it has to be accurate,” she says of how we tend to view the numbers gained from research. “You don’t know how that survey was programmed, you don’t know who they spoke to, you don’t know if that was a survey of five people or 5,000 people.”

Related: Why Your Startup Needs Data Science

Acting as the middleman between brands and consumers, Riebling has spent more than a decade understanding the perspectives of target audiences and reporting that information back to the leadership of notable brands including Nike, Google/YouTube and MTV. By reading between the lines in data findings, she has helped countless executives make decisions to create with their audiences in mind. “I always say insights are your closest thing to a crystal ball,” says Riebling of the significance of her field. “If we do our work properly, we can tell you based on human behavior what is likely to happen next.”

Keeping it simple

The data of today is more detailed and varied than ever before, but there’s no need for entrepreneurs to get overwhelmed by the numbers. Though data has gotten bigger and better with time, success is not contingent upon harnessing the power of big data.

“I think people get wrapped up in this idea that you have to do something statistically sound,” mentions Riebling of the DIY role her job often assumes. “I’ve legitimately gone into a skate park and bought a pizza and said ‘Hey, do you guys want to hang out and eat pizza?’ It might sound a bit creepy, but it worked.” Riebling believes that even small businesses can do their own insight-scraping and data-reporting with limited friends, supporters or colleagues. “As humans, we can just have conversations with people and that is research and validation in itself.”

Turning insights into action

Doing independent research is costly and time-intensive, but data doesn’t necessarily have to come from research done on behalf of your company alone. The creation of the platform Audiomack is a prime example of what can be accomplished by using known research and applying that knowledge to your target audience. In 2012, the founders of the music streaming service decided to launch their business from their own perspectives as hip-hop fans, noticing the genre’s growing reach at the time.

Audiomack was built on providing those hip-hop artists who couldn’t yet afford the fees often required by distribution companies and other streaming platforms with a free and unlimited way to upload their music. Understanding the nature of the hip-hop creative process and the challenge of getting past industry gatekeepers, the founders gave artists a chance to put their music directly in front of the right fans. By also catering to listeners who are specifically looking to stream underground hip-hop content that can’t be found in places like Apple Music or Spotify, today Audiomack attracts 14 million daily active users.

I recently spoke with David Ponte, co-founder and CMO of Audiomack, who explained how the company’s Creator Dashboard is helping artists turn the data from the service’s platform into actionable insights. “That type of specific data is going to help you understand where to push your resources,” Ponte says of the dashboard’s geo-location and engagement metrics. “If you’re an emerging artist, you want to be able to determine where you might want to contact booking agents. You can see, ‘Are people coming back to play a song or are they just playing it because it’s in a big playlist?’ Those answers are going to help you determine how to spend your money and your time moving forward.”

When used correctly, carefully mined data can help a company determine which path to take. Better data leads to better decision-making and more efficient selling strategies, both of which are key to profitability.

Related: 4 Ways Data Is Driving Conscious Capitalism

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source http://www.scpie.org/why-entrepreneurs-should-choose-insights-over-instincts/ source https://scpie.tumblr.com/post/617588426033790976

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