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bnhaisliterallymylife · 3 years

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Creatures of the Forest

I haven’t written anything on here in months, and to be honest I should be working on my novel rather than this. But, I’m a whore for EraserMic and can’t resist the temptation. Plus, I have a weakness for Monster AU’s, so I’m going to have fun with this.

Also heads up, I did not proofread, and story details might be a little muddy. I am tired and horny, and I will now go to bed.

Word Count: 5,242 (Kill me.)

Pairing(s): Jinn!Shouta x Female Reader x Siren!Hizashi

Warnings: 18+, dub-con, fingering, double-penetration, anal sex, vaginal sex, creampie, and probably more filth.

Premise: You just wanted to have some time yourself, and considering how cheap the cabin was you couldn’t pass up the chance at a countryside getaway. And they couldn’t pass up a chance of you.

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The cabin is not what you expected, but nonetheless you just felt glad at the chance to get away from the city for awhile. Your job has been stressing you out for months, and your family is no better. You booked out this one bedroom wood cabin from the 1970s for the next two weeks, a vacation away from technology and far, far away from the thoughts that kept you from yourself.

When you first arrived you checked out the whole cabin only to find cobwebs and dust covering nearly every surface, and the appliances were horrifically outdated. So, you decided to spend your time cleaning it up a little so you didn’t feel like a spider was going to crawl into your mouth in the middle of the night. Good thing, too, because you managed to find a fiddleback in its nest just under the bed. Now, you might hate spiders, but you’re by no means a killer.

“Work with me here, otherwise one of us is gonna get hurt.” You carefully manage to put a plastic cup over the agitated spider, and using a piece of paper you’re able to carefully take it outside. You don’t want to leave it near the cabin, and you don’t want to leave it out in the open field - what if a bird got to it? You have no choice but to trek out past the lovely field of wildflowers to the dark forest that lay just beyond it.

The trees tower over you as the sun begins to set in the distance. You’re not that far away from the cabin, but hearing the branches rustle against each other as the wind blows a warm summer breeze across your skin sends goosebumps over your body. It would be best to quickly release the spider and get out of there.

You go over to the nearest tree at the very edge of the forest and take the cup away from the paper. There the spider sits, rearing back as a threat, but its dramatics do nothing to you.

“You’re not so scary out in the open, are you?”

“He could probably say the same to you.”

You drop the paper and cup, whipping your head around to find the source of the melodic voice that had spoken to you, but no one is there.

“Over here, little bird.”

Your gaze falls back towards the forest, and just a few feet in front of you is a man with long, golden blonde hair that cascades down to his waist. He’s tall, probably six feet if you had to guess, and he’s wearing a tank top and jean shorts that show off his toned body almost too well. Then there’s his eyes, a green so bright that it contrasts the darkness of the forest.

“What are you doing here?” This land is supposed to be private, or at least that’s what the listing said.

“Sorry! I forget my manners sometimes. I’m one of the owners, you’re Y/N right?” Oh, one of the owners! You remember now, the listing mentioned that the owners of the property lived elsewhere on the land and might come by to check in on things.

“Yeah. You know, the cabin could have used a cleaning. When’s the last time you had anyone else here?”

“Somethin’ like five or so years. You like it though?”

“It’s... Cozy.” The sun seems to be disappearing much faster now. “Minus the spider.”

“Unfortunately we can’t do much about nature, little bird.” You want to ask him not to call you that, but you don’t want to be rude. The cabin is pretty cheap and you’d hate to cut this trip short because of a nickname. “But, if ya want my husband can come spray the cabin for pests tomorrow. I could bring by some food, too.”

“Oh, no thanks. I think it was just the one anyways.” The point of this whole trip is for you to get some alone time, and inviting this admittedly alluring man and his husband over would go against that.

“If you’re sure...” He trails off, glancing towards the spider that is now climbing quickly up the side of the tree. “If you do change your mind though, let us know! We don’t like pests around here, either.” You chuckle a little at that, but by now you’re already starting to back away from the forest to head back towards the cabin.

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir!” You call back, now intent on getting across this field as quickly as possible. But, his next words feel like they’re a whisper in your ear, making you jerk your head back towards the forest. My name is Hizashi, little bird.

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After unpacking that night you found yourself exhausted from the long travel to the cabin. After checking that all of the windows and doors were locked securely, you went to bed thinking about the blonde in the woods and the plans that you had for the next day. Your eyes closed with those thoughts mingling together as you fell into a seemingly deep sleep, unaware of the eyes that watched you from just outside of the bedroom window.

“She’s even better than I imagined...”

“You shouldn’t have gone to her today, it’s too soon.”

“If we wait too long then we’ll lose our chance! Let’s take her now, she wants to be far away, so we’ll take her far away.”

“We need time, and permission.”

“Well, I know how to get one of those things.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the sun peeks through the bedroom window you attempt, and fail to stifle a groan. It might have been a good idea to bring curtains with you, but you suppose that it’s part of the woodsy experience. You sit up and stretch your arms high above your head, unaware of the creature slithering across the floor until you put your feet down and hear a hiss. Immediately you pull your feet back onto the bed with a high-pitched scream. The rattlesnake coils itself up and sets its eyes directly on you, only a few feet away from the bed.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” You mutter to yourself as you reach for your cellphone on the side table. Unfortunately for you, the snake leaps forward and takes a snap towards your arm, eliciting another screech from you and making you back yourself against the far corner of the bed. “Go to the woods, you thought, it’ll be a great experience!” You mock yourself, now looking for anything nearby that you could use as a weapon. You could toss the blanket over it and try to make a run for it, but what you miss or what if it still managed to get you?

“Y/N!” You hear Hizashi just outside the cabin.

“We heard a scream, is everything alright!?” Another voice joins him, likely his husband.

“N-No! There’s a snake in here!” You glance towards the window to see it cracked open. Didn’t you lock it last night? “I can’t get past it!” You hear some banging at the front door, but shouldn’t they have a key? Or maybe they didn’t want to just walk in? “The window to the room is open! Hurry!” How close is the nearest hospital if you get bit? How long would it take you to die?

When you see two figures come around to the bedroom window you feel like you could weep in relief, but they hesitate.

“Is it okay for us to come in? How close is the snake?” The dark-haired man asks, and in your panic you don’t even question the absurdity of the first question.

“I-It’s close to me, you can come in. Be careful though.” You’re much quieter now, thinking that maybe your yelling only made the creature on your floor angrier. Hizashi’s husband only then pushes the window further open, sticking one leg inside to stabilize himself before coming all the way in. The snake is too focused on you to notice the new intruder.

“Y/N, my name is Shouta, and I need you to follow my instructions. Can you do that for me?” His voice is low and smooth, it calms you instantly.

“O-Okay.”

“Good girl. Pick up the blanket from your bed very slowly, try not to make any sudden movements - he’s more scared of you than you are of him.” You highly doubt that, but nonetheless you lean down very slowly while Shouta sneaks around the back of the snake to grab the blanket. “Very good girl.” Your face flushes at the almost sensual compliment. “Now, throw it onto the snake. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.” His reassurance calls you to action, tossing the thin blanket onto the snake. It hisses and wildly whips around under the blanket until Shouta manages to scoop up the blanket like a bag and tie it off. Just like that, your ordeal is over.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay now Y/N, Shou’s got the big bad snake.” Hizashi is suddenly by your side in an instant. When did he come through the window? His hand is on yours as he gently guides your shaky body off of the bed.

“I don’t even know how that thing got in, I-I locked every door and window last night! I double checked everything, I cleaned yesterday, I just don’t...” Why was the window open? Did she maybe get up last night and open it? It did get pretty hot last night... Quite suddenly, you’re extremely aware of how bare you feel in your cute light blue cotton shorts and black sports bra. You hadn’t even thought of it during your state of panic.

“I’m going to take this guy outside and let him go. Hizashi brought a dish over for you to try, if you want the company.” The two of them don’t seem to mind your half-dressed state, but you do.

“Sure, um, do you mind stepping out for a few minutes though.” You release Hizashi’s hand and grab the sheet from the bed to cover yourself. They understand pretty quickly, but both men didn’t mind it. If anything they want to see more of your soft, beautiful skin.

“Sorry ‘bout that beautiful! We’ll give ya some space!” With that, both men are leaving your presence and you feel like you can breathe a sigh of relief. What just happened? It feels like it all happened at once, but you can’t say that you aren’t relieved by their excellent timing. You decide to slip on some normal jean shorts and a faded AC/DC tee-shirt you got a few years back.

When you step out of the bedroom you can see Hizashi already bustling around the kitchen, humming in a way that made you feel warm little fuzzies on the inside. Shouta is sitting at the dining room table with his dark eyes shut. You take a moment to silently admire Hizashi’s husband. He’s more filled out than the lithe blonde, and while his black wavy hair is long, it’s only a few inches past his shoulders. And then she notices the deep scar just under his right eye.

“See something you like?” Your face once again turns red when you realize his eyes have opened and he’s looking directly at you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare-”

“It’s alright. It’s the scar, right?” When he says this, Hizashi stops his cooking momentarily to look back at you and his husband.

“Oh, no! I don’t mind scars, scars can be sexy!” Why did you have to say that? An amused smirk slides across Shouta’s lips when you say this. Hizashi, meanwhile, lets out a chuckle that makes the air around you feel too light.

“Well of course scars are sexy! Why don’t you tell little bird how you got that scar?” As he says this you come to sit at the table. You may as well indulge them, they did come to your rescue after all.

“It’s not that interesting.” Shouta waves it off, but he can tell that you’re interested. “Unless you want to hear about it?”

“It’s not like I have anything else to do.” You shrug, and with that you get to spend the rest of your morning with the two men.

Apparently, Shouta had a run in with a man trespassing on the land and got a knife pulled on him. He said it wasn’t that interesting, but the way he told it captivated your interest. The guy was probably a hunter, or a thief, but they never found out. The local deputy came to get the guy after the confrontation, and that was that. They continued to talk with you long after breakfast had finished and you all had eaten, asking you about your interests, your passions, the reason why you came out here. You don’t know why, but when they ask you these questions you answer without a second thought. You think that it’s because no one has ever bothered to listen to you for this long, and the couple makes you feel as if you belong here, like you’re a person who deserves to be cherished. Originally you came here to be alone, but when you’re with them you feel something that you never felt back home. You just can’t quite describe it. Hours pass, and it’s well past noon when the two men decide to take their leave.

“If you see anymore snakes-”

“-Or if you just want our company-”

“-just give us a call on the landline.” Shouta finishes for the two of them as they walk out the front door.

“Sure thing, thanks again. I don’t know what I would have done if you two hadn’t come over.”

“Probably woulda sat there, desperately waiting for your prince charming to come save you. Good thing you already have two of us.” Hizashi’s joke manages to get a little giggle out of you.

“You’re cheesy.” Shouta grumbles, though you could see a small smile on his face as well. “Come on, let’s leave Y/N alone.” You watch the two of them walk not down the dirt road that you drove on to get here, but back through the forest that encircles the cabin.

Once the couple is gone, it’s like you snap back to reality. This morning was crazy, and you got lucky, but you swore that you locked that window shut last night. Deciding that perhaps it was better to enjoy the rest of your day than continue to obsess over the snake incident, you take a sketch book and go out back to draw the pretty flowers in the field.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night feels even hotter than the day, making it near impossible for you to cover up in any way. Long ago you stripped yourself bare, sprawling yourself on top of the covers with a sheen of sweat covering your body. If you didn’t feel the cool air struggling to reach you from the vents, then you would almost think the AC is broken. Currently, you’re half asleep in an almost dreamlike state. That’s when you hear a soft whisper.

“What is your wish?”

You turn on your side, letting out unintelligible mumbles. A more soothing, honeyed voice joins the first.

“What do you desire, little bird?”

That voice sends tingles all through your body, setting every nerve on fire. It compels you to answer.

“I want...” You mumbles, eyes half open and glazed over as you give your answer. “I want... Release...” You want to feel all of your stresses disappear as if they never existed.

“I’ll give you release, kitten.”

The voice no longer sounds far away, which snaps you out of that sleepy haze and once again makes you aware of your surroundings.Your eyes adjust to the darkness to find yourself no longer in the cabin, but surrounded by looming vertical objects... Trees?

“Shhh, don’t panic, we’re here.” There’s that voice again, the one that makes orgasmic waves pulse through your eardrums. It soothes any worries that you currently have as two hands come up to your shoulders and gently lay you onto the soft ground.

They prepared this place just for you. The cabin had been a front from the very beginning, a way to lure you away from bustling city life so they could give you what you wanted - release. You didn’t know it, but you had met Shouta months before this at a little bakery just down the street from your work. You had been complaining on the phone about your new boss and how stressed you were because of your obligations, and you wished that someone would take you away from your own life. Unknowingly, you had called upon the closest Jinn in the area, and he had already taken notice of you.

“Be gentle with her, it could be her first time.”

“It’s definitely not. But don’t worry, I took care of the ex months ago.”

You can vaguely hear the conversation of the two men looming over you, but you do not react. On the inside you feel fear, vulnerability, and confusion. You can’t quite make out the figures above you, but you recognize the voices; your hosts, Shouta and Hizashi. You just can’t comprehend why they are doing this. Earlier today they were fine, sure they were getting a little too close and asking too many questions, but you wouldn’t say they invaded your space... Or did they?

“Took care of?”

“Nothing like that, he wished for a job in France, so I got him the job in France... But, he might not like that job very much.” You can hear the smirk in his voice even if you can’t see it. “It was necessary.”

“Agreed.” The hands that had pushed you back onto the pillowy moss are now moving down your sides, just barely brushing over the sides of your breasts. You barely register the sigh of pleasure that leaves your lips at the tantalizing contact.

“Zashi...”

“What? Isn’t this what we wanted?”

“We need permission.”

“We have permission! You heard the wish!”

“It was vague. I want details.” Suddenly, you can feel another set of hands gently massaging your bare feet, then moving up your smooth legs to part them at the thighs. The exposure makes you whimper, though there’s little you can do beyond that. “Release your influence, Hizashi.”

“But if we do that-”

“Release her. I want to hear her.” With what sounds like a huff of frustration from the blonde, that hazy feeling that had come over you suddenly dissipates. Your vision becomes more clear along with the two entities above you.

Hizashi has moves your arms so they’re now pinned above your head, preventing you from covering your bare breasts from their view. Shouta still has your legs spread on either side of you, but he doesn’t move any further. You meet his eyes, eyes that had been onyx earlier in the day but now glow an eerie shade of red.

“Months ago you wished to be taken away from your life. Do you remember that, Y/N?” You can’t focus on Shouta’s voice, all you can focus on is your current situation. Tings sting the edges of your eyes, and your throat starts to close up.

“P-Please...”

“She’s not going to respond like this, Shou.”

“She will, be patient. Y/N, I need you to look at me.” His voice is stern. Even though you want to look away, you once again meet his gaze. “What do you wish for now?”

“Let m-me go!” That’s your first thought, but then you feel one of Shouta’s hands creeping further up your thigh, his fingers just barely brushing over your outer lips.

“Do you mean that?” You nod your head frantically, and unbeknownst to you Shouta’s partner is giving him an incredulous look. “So, you want to go back to that stressful life in the city? You want your asshole boss to walk all over you, making you feel like you’re the scum of the earth? You want your parents to treat you like you mean nothing?” He emphasizes the final word with a hiss, and this seems to get to you. Your sniffling briefly ceases, though you’re still tugging against the tight hold of both of the men as if you could escape.

“What are you?”

“A Jinn, kitten. Do you know what a Jinn is?” You nod you head - you’re aware of the mythology behind beings like him, but how does he exist? They’re fictional! “Months ago I heard your desperate plea, and ever since then I’ve been eager to give you want you want... For a price.” His thumb brushes over your clit briefly, making your body stiffen.

“F-For sex?”

“For partnership. To be with me, to be with Hizashi, to be with both of us. It does get lonely out here.”

“And I can’t leave.” Hizashi pipes in with a sad smile. “I’m a Siren tied permanently to this forest. Remember the story about the man with a knife? He was going to hurt this place, so we had no choice. Once this place is gone, so am I.” His thumbs rub soothing circles into your skin.

“You don’t need me though, I don’t need your wishes or whatever! I want to...” You wish that you could say that you want to go home, but do you? Despite your current circumstances, you found yourself considering this deal.

“If you’re here, then Hizashi won’t be alone. I can go out for supplies without worrying about him.”

“And if you’re here, you won’t have to deal with those pesky worries you had before little bird. You get to have fun, be free, be loved by us.” But why you? Why did they want to take you?

“Because you’re special, Y/N. Because out of everyone in that city, you were the one who wanted to escape the most, who cared but wasn’t cared for. You deserve us.” Shouta drives his point home here, but he hopes that it will be enough. After all, he would prefer your consent, but it’s not entirely needed here.

“Okay.” You whisper. After all, what’s really waiting for you back home? Misery and paperwork, that’s what.

“Okay what?”

“You need to be more specific, Y/N.” You take a deep, shuddering breath before you speak again.

“I-I want release, I don’t want to go home anymore.”

“And in exchange?” Shouta pushes, his eyes glowing as he stares into yours.

“In e-exchange, I’ll stay here. I’ll be your... Partner.”

That seems to be all that they need from you, because in the next moment the two men above you are no longer clothed. You squeak and shut your eyes - it’s not the first time you’ve seen a naked man, but usually they don’t just pop out in front of you like that!

“You’re little noises are so cute.” Hizashi uses one of his knees to keep your wrists pinned above your head so his hands could get to work. While your eyes are still closed you feel his soft fingers run across your neck and past your collarbone, headed straight for your breasts. But just before they can get there, a pair of lips smash to yours. Shouta’s tongue flicks out at your bottom lip, beckoning you to allow him inside. Just at that moment, Hizashi’s fingers find your pert nipples, giving each of them a tiny pinch. This causes you to moan, and Shouta takes the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth to get a taste.

You can feel Shouta’s thick erection against your cunt, twitching in anticipation. It has been awhile since you’ve had another man, and you have to admit that the thought of being railed by these very good looking men wasn’t so bad. You start to becoming lightheaded from the kiss and constant ministrations of your sensitive nipples when Shouta finally pulls away from the kiss to let you breathe.

“Good girl.” He brings his thumb up to wipe away some of the saliva from around your lips. “We’ll put this to more use later. For now, I want to see you cum.” In what feels like two seconds Shouta is suddenly between your thighs, throwing your legs over his shoulders so he could get a good view of your waiting, wet pussy. He blows cool air over your sensitive little nub, making it quiver and throb in anticipation. Meanwhile, Hizashi finally leans down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth, flicking his tongue over the little bug while his fingers continue to tug and pinch the other. Your head sits in the blonde’s lap, his cock mere inches away from your face.

“Do you want to suck me, little bird?” As he says this in that low, melodic voice of his, Shouta flicks his tongue over your clit, making your writhe under them.

“Careful, she almost came.”

“Is my voice too much for you?” You can only pant in response, letting out a soft moan when Shouta flicks his tongue over your little nub again.

“Answer him, or we’ll make this last.”

“Y-Yes... It’s... I makes me feel good.” His voice makes you feel like you could orgasm in seconds.

“And do you want to suck daddy’s cock?” The way he words it makes you whine, but you nonetheless give him an answer.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes... Daddy.” The instant that you finish that sentence, Shouta’s mouth latches onto your clit, sucking on it so harshly that you can feel your head spin. Hizashi repositions himself so he’s kneeling right over your face, running his fingers through your hair as he guides your lips to his tip. You take his tip into your mouth and suck it softly, eliciting a groan from the man that gets sent straight to your groin.

“Fuck, just her lips are almost enough... Come on honey, you can take me deeper.” And you do, you try to relax your throat so you can take Hizashi’s cock deeper into your mouth, swirling your tongue around his base, all while Hizashi has his hands continually playing with your nipples, never letting up.

Shouta continues his work between your legs, nipping softly at your clit while bringing a finger to your entrance. He gently pushes it inside of you, giving it a few thrusts before adding a second. You adjust tremendously well. He can already feel your wet cavern clenching tightly around his fingers as he curls his digits upwards. To this you give him a sweet little cry, which only results in Shouta setting a relentless pace. He pounds those fingers into you, hitting your sensitive spot with such precision that you can hardly focus on the cock in your mouth all while sucking and swirling his expert tongue over your swollen clit until you finally clench tightly around his fingers and cry out with your first orgasm of the evening.

Hizashi slows down the thrusts into your mouth as Shouta pulls away from between your legs, slowly pulling himself out as well. For a moment you’re confused, wondering why they could pull away when they haven’t found relief yet, only to be suddenly pulled forward so you’re hovering right over Shouta’s thick length. Hizashi comes up behind you, pressing soft kisses and nipples to the soft spot on your neck - he’s going to leave plenty of marks here later.

“Do you think you can take both of us?” Shouta asks, momentarily confused you until you realize what he means.

“I’ve never done it, um, there before.”

“We can make it easy, if you let us. It’ll only feel good.” Hizashi assures you, rubbing comforting circles into your thighs.

“We want to make you feel good.” Shouta adds, both hesitating until they see you nod your head once again.

“Okay.” You still feel nervous, but you want to feel good, and so far it feels really good.

Shouta helps your ease yourself onto his dick, pressing gently into your waiting pussy while giving your already oversensitive clit little flicks from his thumb. Once he has settled deep within you, you feel Hizashi spread your ass cheeks and press a finger into you. Your face burns from slight embarrassment, but admittedly as he begins to move the saliva covered digit in and out of you, you find yourself enjoying it. You try to move whilst on top of Shouta, but he grabs your hips to keep you still.

“Wait.” He commands, smirking at your impatient whine. That whine then turns into a gasp as you feel a second finger being pressed into your rear hole, nibbling on your bottom lip as an uncomfortable burning sensation takes place of the previous pleasure.

“Relax for me, little bird.” Hizashi whispers, and like his words work magic you instantly relax and that burning sensation goes away. He pumps those a few times while your juices continue to drench Shouta’s cock, then they’re gone, replaced instead by Hizashi’s pulsating member. “Stay relaxed, and take a few breaths.” Hizashi murmurs, placing a few soft kisses to your neck as he pushes himself into you.

At first you feel that uncomfortable burning sensation once again, but then that changes to a fullness that gives you pleasure. You huff in lust as Hizashi pushes the full of his length into you, both men temporarily remaining still while you adjust. Your back is pressed flush against Hizashi’s chest, so you can feel his heartbeat rhythmically hammering against you while they both wait.

“Please...”

“Please what?” Shouta once again brushes his thumb over your swollen clit, making you whimper.

“Please, make me yours.”

As if you said the magic words, both men suddenly begin to move within you. Shouta keeps your hips stilled while rolling his own to thrust up into you, meanwhile Hizashi wraps one arm around your waist to grope your breast. You feel his teeth graze against your shoulder with enough pressure to bruise, but you don’t care, you’re in a euphoric state right now.

Shouta keeps your clit busy with his thumb while the both of them pick up their paces, the sound of sweaty skin slapping together resonating throughout the dense forest. You can feel your next orgasm already building as the two of them continue at their brutal pace, the feeling of your holes clenching around them driving them absolutely wild with lust - they’re not going to last much longer, either.

“Fuck - we love you, kitten.”

“Yesss, we love you so much little bird.” Hizashi grunts into your ear, and while you can’t say it yet, you’re sure that it won’t take but a few months before you’re saying the same words back.

All it takes is one well timed thrust against your g-spot and another flick to your clit before you’re clamping down on both men and letting out a long, strangled moan with your second orgasm. Shouta follows quickly behind you along with Hizashi, both men pressing deep within you before they spill their seeds. They stay inside of you even afterwards, letting you back in your afterglow as they both praise you, pressing kisses over your skin and telling you how great you did for them.

It’s too late for you to turn back now. You’ve made the deal, and you sealed it the second that you said yes.

#erasermic x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #smut #monster au #why do i do this to myself #i really need to get on that novel #i could have done so much work by now DX #erasermic x fem!reader

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allsassnoclass · 3 years

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i blame it on the weather (can you make it better)

Pairing: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Key Tag(s): College AU, Cold, Angst with a Happy Ending

Word Count: 6,177

Read on AO3

A/N: this was tailor-made for @michaelownsmyheart. I hope you like it darling <3 also big shout out to @clumsyclifford for looking this over and giving me Good Advice

—

Michael doesn’t remember the dorm being this cold when he left in December. He doesn’t know how the space between him and Calum got that cold, either.

—

The drive back to campus feels shorter than normal, songs on the radio flying by with other cars on the highway the further Michael gets from his family and the closer he gets to the loneliness of an empty dorm. Normally he wouldn’t mind having the place to himself, especially because that means he can blast music as loud as he wants and no one else is going to take the shower with the good water pressure, but there’s something foreboding about it now.

His phone is still empty of messages from the one person he’s been waiting to hear from. Two weeks alone in the dorms wouldn’t be so bad if he had Calum on the other end of the line to keep him company.

He pulls into his parking spot right as snow begins to fall, a little earlier than predicted. He sends a quick text to his parents to let them know he made it safe, then grabs his bags and makes the trek to his dorm. It’s an older building elegantly nestled between the newer residence halls with better air conditioning or elevators that don’t break down every month, but there’s more character to it. The other dorms are boxy and made of dark brick, but this one is lighter with turrets at the top and heavy wooden doors. It looks more like a fantasy castle than a dorm building, and Michael’s mum had fallen in love with it immediately on their campus tour a few years ago. Now that Michael is living here it’s lost some of its luster, but it’s also the only building to have single rooms, and while having Luke as a roommate turned out alright in the end last year, he likes being able to have the room to himself all of the time.

Michael fumbles for his key card to swipe himself in, biting off one of his gloves so he can get it out of his wallet. Thick flakes land on his coat and hands, the kind that would probably be good for making snowmen if he still did stuff like that but that will be hell to drive in later. Hopefully the roads will be clear enough by tomorrow, and he probably has some ramen that he never made from last semester that he can heat up for dinner tonight.

Inside doesn’t feel much warmer than outside, but there’s no snow or wind. Michael stomps his feet in an attempt to get all of the snow off his boots, but freezes as soon as he glances up.

Nestled amongst the armchairs, big windows, fireplace, piano, and little side tables that make up the front lounge, Calum Hood stares back at him like a deer in headlights. He’s got a notebook and pencil in his hand and a textbook open in front of him, blanket wrapped around his shoulders in a way that Michael wishes he were. He looks exactly the same as he did when Michael last saw him a few weeks ago, except he’s fully clothed this time. He looks good. He looks cozy.

He looks like Michael is the last person he wants to see.

Michael clears his throat.

“I didn’t know you were back on campus,” he says.

“I’m taking a j-term and thought it’d be easier to focus here,” Calum replies, lifting the notebook halfheartedly. “It’s a prereq for my chem class this semester. It turns out that switching majors put me a bit behind this time.”

Michael nods. Calum started as a music education major, then switched to an elementary education major before realizing he didn’t want to deal with little kids. Now he’s studying to be a high school science teacher, which means he has a few freshman science classes he needs to squeeze into his schedule. He hadn’t said anything about a j-term to Michael when he registered, but they also haven’t exactly been communicating much since before finals.

“I didn’t expect anyone back yet,” Calum says eventually.

“I got permission to come back early so I can take a few more shifts. Gotta pay for college somehow, you know…”

Michael trails off, unbalanced and uncomfortable. It feels wrong to be reacting like this around Calum, just like it felt wrong to not hear from him during finals or break, but after a few more moments of uncomfortable silence and chewing his lip he hefts his bag higher on his shoulder and makes an excuse about wanting to get his room back to rights. He feels Calum’s eyes on him as he leaves, the weight of his gaze lingering even after Michael has entered the stairwell, dug out his key, and entered his room. When he takes off his jacket he immediately reaches for a blanket, wrapping himself up and trying to suppress the shivers threatening to erupt throughout his body.

He doesn’t remember the dorm being this cold when he left in December. He doesn’t know how the space between him and Calum got that cold, either.

-/-

Once he has a bowl of instant ramen in front of him and his stuff more or less put away, Michael calls Luke.

“Good morning,” Luke answers, a leftover joke gone stale from when they were roommates with opposite sleep schedules. It almost makes him wish for a simpler time when Luke was forcing him to go places like Welcome Week events and they were literally running into people like Calum and Luke was forcing them all to be friends even though Michael’s smoothie got spilled and Calum dropped his nachos. Michael would take being newly flustered over a hot guy who got a strawberry drink all over his favorite sweatshirt rather than having Calum not fucking talk to him.

“Did you know that Calum’s doing a j-term?”

Luke sighs on the other end of the line.

“I’m doing fine, Michael, thank you for asking. How are you?”

“I’m bad. Calum is here and no one warned me.”

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t tell him that you would be back early, either.”

“That much was obvious.” Michael stirs his noodles, suddenly feeling like he doesn’t have the right appetite for this. “He looked like me showing up was the worst thing in the world.”

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“I’m not,” he says. “You should’ve seen him. He hates me now, and I still don’t know what I did wrong.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Luke says. “He misses you, too.”

“If he misses me so much, he should respond to my texts.”

Luke hums on the other end of the line.

“You’re both in the same place now. Maybe you can corner him in person.”

“I wouldn’t have to do that if someone would just tell me what happened.”

“What happened is that you two slept together and then Calum ghosted you,” Luke sighs. “If you want his reasoning, you have to ask him. I will not be a messenger pigeon for you two.”

“I feel like that metaphor works best only if he’s been asking about me, too,” Michael says. Luke doesn’t respond right away, a drawn out pause that makes Michael look up from his noodles. He wishes they were video chatting so he could see what sort of expression Luke is wearing. “Luke, has he asked about me?”

“I’m not doing this with you right now,” Luke says.

“You fucker, he has talked about me! Do you know why he ghosted me?”

“Stop using me as a go-between! If you want to know why Calum hasn’t replied to your messages, ask him yourself. You both need to get your heads out of your asses and communicate. I can’t believe I’m the one who has to say that.”

Silence descends and Michael pulls his phone away from his ear to see that Luke hung up on him. Michael huffs. A second later his phone lights up with an incoming call, a very unattractive picture of Luke staring at him from his screen. He considers letting it ring out and go to voicemail, but in the end he decides to take the high ground and answer.

“What,” he says flatly.

“Sorry I hung up on you,” Luke says. “I don’t like being caught between you both.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I don’t like it, either.”

“Will you try to talk to him? He’ll let you if it’s in person.”

“I guess.”

Luke hums. They stay on the phone a little longer, small talk filling the silence so Michael doesn’t have to be alone while he eats, but he knows he’s being a bad conversation partner, too distracted by what Calum may or may not have been saying about him to Luke. When they finally hang up Michael flops back on his bed and groans, wondering if he should just move to Antarctica and change his name rather than put himself through this.

-/-

He manages to go the rest of the night without any indication that Calum is there. They miss each other in the bathroom, but every sound in the hallway has the hair on his arms standing on end, wondering if it could be Calum or just the settling of the near-empty building. He sleeps fitfully, tossing and turning on the sub-par dorm mattress, cuddling deeper into his blanket in an attempt to find some much-needed warmth.

The last night he spent with Calum, and the first night they’d spent together in that way, Michael fell asleep warm. It was almost too hot, sticky under the covers and burning wherever their skin touched, but he loved it. He’d take the heat over the cold any day, and he hasn’t felt warm since he woke up alone, bed feeling too big without the other boy in it to act as his personal space heater.

That morning the sheets had still smelled like him, but they were cold. He’d left long before Michael woke up. Michael’s first morning back feels like a mirror of that day. Right before he fully wakes up he catches himself reaching for Calum and coming up empty. When he realizes what he had been doing, he forces himself to get up rather than stay in bed and wallow only because he can’t afford to be late to work on his first day back and he doesn’t trust the roads to be cleared yet. The college is situated on the outskirts of town, an odd placement that puts a woodsy area to one side and only a few smaller shops next to it. Michael hadn’t managed to land a job in one of those places, but the family-owned restaurant he works at pays enough to be worth the gas it takes to get there. He throws on a hoodie and slippers and shuffles to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Calum is already at one of the sinks when he enters. Michael doesn’t let his eyes stray from his face, refusing to take in the tan shoulders and torso or the drops of water glistening against him, leading down to the towel wrapped around his hips. He has a toothbrush in his mouth, foam gathering at the corners of his lips, lips that Michael has--

No. He can’t think about this now.

“Morning,” he says, clearing his throat to get it to work properly.

“Morning,” Calum replies around his toothbrush, consonants muffled. He spits into the sink and Michael makes himself focus on his own morning routine, meticulously putting toothpaste on his own brush and hoping it’s not obvious that even glancing at Calum is dangerous for him right now.

Neither of them try to say anything more, and Michael wonders if the silence is hanging as heavily in the air for Calum as it is for him. Before break, silences between them were the only types of silences Michael could stand. He’s fidgety by nature and gets uncomfortable without background noise, but Calum always managed to temper that a bit. Being around him settles something inside, something that right now makes Michael want to scream.

He’s about to try to break the silence when Calum picks up his bathroom caddy and leaves without so much as a glance his way. Michael tries not to let it bother him, but he misses the weight of his gaze. Calum used to look at him fondly, filled with enough affection that Michael could feel it in his heart. He doesn’t understand why that would have to change now.

By the time Michael goes to start his car for work, Calum has set himself up in the lounge again, laptop open in front of him. He’s turned on the fireplace, something that Michael thinks they're not technically supposed to do but that he’s certainly not going to call him on, and he doesn’t look up when Michael comes down the stairs. Michael lingers by the doorway longer than he should.

They’ve spent a lot of time in this room, whether doing homework on the couch, trying to play duets on the piano in the corner, or hogging the chess set by the window, figuring out how to play and passing the time.

The chess board is set up for a fresh game. In a naive fit of hope Michael walks over to it and moves one of the pawns forward. Calum doesn’t glance up from his computer, but he’s still in a way that means he knows what Michael is doing.

On his way out he thinks he hears someone say drive safe, but the howling of the wind is already filling his ears and he can’t be sure.

-/-

Michael gets sent home early because of the snow. He fights it all the way there, pulling in late because he had to move so slow, and halfway through his shift the manager calls it, deciding to close up for the day. Right after he clocks out Michael gets a notification on his phone for a severe blizzard alert, and he steels himself to face it before leaving behind the warmth of the restaurant. Outside the world is covered in a thick sheet of white, plows not able to keep up with the large flakes still falling from the sky, and Michael wills his car to survive the drive, windshield wipers going furiously in an attempt to keep him seeing as much as he can. The drive takes three times longer than usual, and when he finally spots his dorm through the snow it comes with a sigh of relief.

Calum is still in the lounge when he comes inside and stomps his feet to get some feeling back into them. With the snow came a biting wind, and even after barely being outside he feels frozen.

“I was getting worried,” Calum says, startling him. “It looks like it’s bad out there.”

“It is,” Michael says, taking off his hat and shaking snow off of it. He squints at Calum, in a different position and bundled in a blanket now, the big blue one that Mali got him as a grad present. Michael once again has to push away the urge to cuddle up to him.

“It’s fucking cold,” he says instead, because it’s true and if he doesn’t make small talk he’s going to blurt something embarrassing like I’ve been thinking about you all the time or why did you leave me or I love you I love you I love you I’m sorry please can we be friends again?

“Going to be a cold night for us, then,” Calum says. “The heating’s been shit this break. I don’t think they keep it up as high when there’s only one student here.”

“I’ve had a few cold nights,” Michael snorts before he thinks about it. “I mean--I’ll use some extra blankets.”

Calum nods once. He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, then snaps it shut again, looking down at his computer. It feels like a dismissal, like Michael isn’t worth his time anymore, and it stings.

He should go upstairs, anyway. He needs to find some blankets of his own. He glances over the piano and the fireplace, eyes landing on the chess game by the window.

Someone has moved a pawn on the other side. He glances at Calum, then moves a knight, continuing the game. He wants to ask Calum to sit down and play a proper round with him, but one glance at Calum’s posture has him biting his tongue. He’s closed off, blanket wrapped around him securely and face tense, and Michael can’t bring himself to bother him, not when interacting with Michael seems to be the last thing he wants to do.

Michael looks back at the chess set, three pieces out of place, and heads to his room.

-/-

The night comes simultaneously fast and slow in the way that all boring winter nights do. Michael sits in his room scrolling through social media while the sun sets around him, and when he does eventually get up it’s only so he can make more ramen to eat. He had lunch at the restaurant and never did get to the grocery store, but he has a few snacks to munch on and if things get really bad he can always see if Calum has anything he’s willing to share.

Calum initiated conversation earlier, so things can’t be too bad between them, right? It’s still terribly stiff and uncomfortable, but at least he’s not getting the silent treatment anymore. At least Calum looked at him for a little bit.

He plays video games until he’s too bored to continue, then showers and crawls into bed. It’s still cold, just like Calum said it would be, but they haven’t lost power yet. Michael piles on the blankets and pillows, but his sheets are frigid, not yet warmed by his body heat and making him shiver. After a few minutes of tossing and turning he considers boiling water just to have a warm mug to hold in his hands.

Maybe it’ll be better in the lounge with the fireplace on. No one’s here to get mad at him for falling asleep on the couch, but then he’d have to haul all of his blankets down there, something that he doesn’t think he has the energy for right now.

He wishes Calum were here. It feels like all he’s done since getting back to campus is think about Calum, his presence in the building affecting him more than it would have if he was fully alone, but in a pragmatic sense he also really wants a warm body next to him right now. Two people under the covers are warmer than one, and he’s already put on socks and a hoodie. Wrapping himself in Calum would keep him warm on a physical level, and maybe it’ll settle him enough that he’ll actually be able to sleep without having weird dreams or waking up every few hours.

He hasn’t even gotten close enough to touch him since getting here. Before break, he and Calum were always handsy with each other, personal space a myth with the two of them. It feels wrong to have seen him and not immediately gone in for a hug.

He flops onto his stomach, trying to get comfortable without disturbing the blankets too much, but sleep isn’t coming easy. When a knock comes on his door, he’s immediately awake and alert. He wonders if it was a piece of a dream instead, given that there’s only one other person in the building and late night visits did not seem to be an option on the table, but after a few moments someone knocks again.

The light of the hallway is bright after the dark of his room, making him squint at the silhouette of Calum standing before him, wrapped in a blanket like he always seems to be right now. His hair is messy, no doubt from his own fitful attempt to sleep, and Michael wants to run his fingers through it and put it back to rights.

“Hi,” Michael says.

“I called maintenance about the heat,” Calum says. “They said they’re having a bit of issue with it and will send someone out, but with the road conditions it could be a little while. I think they forgot that there were people here.”

“Oh,” Michael says. “Okay.”

He stares at Calum again, cataloguing how tightly he’s wrapped up and the way he’s chewing on his lips. Michael waits for him to say what he really came here to.

“It’s really fucking cold, Michael,” Calum blurts finally, a little desperate.

“I know,” Michael says, not sure how to tell Calum that he’d set the world on fire for him if it would help.

“It’d be warmer if we were together. Like, scientifically speaking. If we cuddled, it would warm us up a bit.”

“Well, you are the scientist in this duo. You would know.” Calum finally meets his eyes, looking up through his eyelashes a little in a way that’s completely unfair. He’s already got Michael wrapped around his finger, heart skipping a beat at the simple occasion of having his attention again.

He has it so bad that it’s pathetic.

“Is that all?” Michael asks, trying to scrape together some of his dignity. Calum has been ghosting him for weeks, and a conversation about the bad heating isn’t exactly what Michael wanted from a real conversation with him. He’s too tired for small talk and much too cold to be standing here when he could be under the covers.

“You’re shivering,” Calum says. Michael hadn’t noticed the small tremors, but now that Calum pointed them out he can’t ignore them.

“Come on, Mikey,” Calum says, stepping closer. Michael wants to lean into him and the warmth he promises. “I promise it’ll be warmer if we cuddle.”

“Do you want to come in?” he asks. Calum nods, so he steps aside.

Having Calum in his room again when the last time included one of the best and most overwhelming experiences of Michael’s life is weird, to say the least. It’s like Michael can see two versions of him: the current Calum, wrapped in a blanket and closed off in every conceivable way, and the Calum from that night, laughing at all of Michael’s jokes and spouting off facts about gravity to explain how they kept getting closer and closer.

“See, everything with mass exerts gravity on everything else, except typically it’s not enough to be noticeable compared to the gravity of the Earth. Your gravitational field must be really strong today.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“No, Michael, you idiot. Stop misinterpreting what I’m saying!”

Calum surveys the room, the safety light reflecting off the snow outside just enough to give him silhouettes to work with. Michael wonders what he’s remembering.

“How do you want to do this?” Michael asks when the silence has stretched on for too long. Calum shrugs, so Michael climbs up onto his bed, sliding under the covers and leaving a corner flipped up in invitation. Calum hesitates, and for a moment Michael thinks he’s going to turn tail and run, but he throws his blanket on top of the covers and joins. The bed is too small to avoid some awkward elbows and involuntary brushes of clothing, barely big enough for one person, let alone two. Michael holds his breath while Calum gets somewhat settled, pressed against the wall to give him as much room as possible.

“It’ll be warmer if we’re touching,” Calum whispers, words hitting Michael like a shout with the close proximity and otherwise silence of the room. If the lights were on, Michael would probably be able to count his eyelashes, but now his face is a combination of different shadows.

“How do you…” Michael trails off. Calum reaches out first, a cold hand wrapping around his own and pulling him closer. They end up with Calum on his back and Michael’s head on his shoulder, legs tangled together. Michael’s sure that Calum can hear how loud his heart is beating, but he can feel Calum’s own beating in a similar pattern so he can’t be too upset about it. He can hear every inhale and rustle of clothing, can feel the soft cotton of Calum’s shirt against his cheek and smell the faint remains of his soap.

He’s warm. It’s not the burning heat from their last night together, but it’s almost worse with the gradual way that Michael can feel himself unthaw in his presence, slow enough that he could forget it’s happening only to wake up as an irreparable puddle.

“Okay?” Michael asks, sending flashbacks to the last few times he had asked that question and Calum’s answers: always positive, whether a verbal yes or a nod or a fierce kiss and wandering hands.

“Yeah,” Calum says. Michael swallows.

Calum starts tracing a design on his back with his finger, barely-felt with Michael still bundled up. Michael wills himself to stay in the moment rather than slipping into the past or wishing for a different future.

It’s not bad like this. He gets Calum close at least, receiving that little piece of contact from him that he’s been craving. If this is the last time they’re like this, he wants to enjoy it if he can.

He shifts, Calum freezing under him for a moment until they both exhale and relax a little more.

Michael closes his eyes and wills himself to sleep.

“Michael?” Calum whispers after a few minutes. For a moment he considers not answering, sure that anything Calum might think to say in the dark of the night will be something he doesn’t want to hear, but all he’s been asking for the past few weeks is his attention, and it seems vindictive to reject it now.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Michael should ask for clarification on what, exactly, Calum is apologizing about. He’s opened the door to this conversation, and Michael should take the opportunity to finally walk through and get their wires straightened out, but he can’t bring himself to do any of that, not like this. Not when Michael is breathing him in and stealing his warmth and there’s absolutely nothing between them to act as a buffer.

In the dark cuddled up together, Michael can keep pretending that Calum isn’t about to crush him. As long as he doesn’t ask for clarification, it’s like Schrodinger’s heartbreak: Michael can be both loved and lonely at the same time.

“Can we talk about it tomorrow?” he asks. “We need to talk about it, but I’m tired. And cold. Not tonight.”

“Okay,” Calum says. Michael waits to see if there’s anything else, but Calum just resumes tracing his secret design on Michael’s back.

Michael closes his eyes and hopes they don’t freeze to death in the night, twin skeletons found tangled together by some unsuspecting third party when the thaw comes. He’s not sure when he falls asleep and begins to dream, but in his mind Calum presses a kiss to his hair and Michael tries not to let such a simple action break him.

-/-

When he wakes up the bed is cold and empty again. It shouldn’t be surprising, certainly not after last time. There was less expectation to stay here, but everything is ugly in the cold light, shattering the fragile balance of the night before. Michael feels a pit in his stomach, but also a hot flare of anger.

Calum is the one who came begging for his company yesterday after completely ignoring him for weeks. Calum is the one who left without a trace after Michael showed him he loves him the best way he knows how. Calum is the one who keeps running away from this, but Michael is the one who keeps getting hurt and that’s not fair.

It’s a little warmer in the building now, the heaters likely getting sorted while they were sleeping, but Michael still grabs a blanket. No one answers Calum’s door and the bathroom seems to be empty. He heads downstairs to see if he has set himself up in the lounge again and knows he’s on the right track when he starts to hear piano music drifting softly towards him the more he descends the stairs.

Calum is one of the only people who ever uses the grand piano in the lounge. It’s slightly out of tune, just enough for Michael himself to notice but for Calum to complain about a lot. Michael has spent a lot of later nights in the lounge listening to him play, whether he was practicing back when he used to be a music major and take lessons or just playing for fun. Calum curses a lot when he practices, but Michael has also caught him with his eyes closed and a content smile on his face, letting the music take him away. Watching him like that, Michael sometimes wonders why Calum switched from music to science, but the rarity of the moments makes them all the more special.

He’s playing a piece that he’s been working on for a while. Michael tries not to disturb him, walking slowly towards the chess set where another piece has been moved in a continuation of the game. Calum must have pulled the curtains by the windows up, deep drifts of snow piled against them and sunlight reflecting off the white to set the entire room aglow. In this setting and with this soundtrack, the morning feels less frosty.

The last note hangs suspended in the air and Michael holds his breath until it dissipates. Calum sighs, breaking his posture to slump down, and turns to face Michael.

“You’ve gotten better at that one,” Michael says.

“Easier to practice when I don’t have to go to the music hall and no one’s here to use the piano.”

Michael studies him, taking in his rumpled appearance. He doesn’t look like he’s been up that long, still in the same pants he went to bed in and already folding the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands to keep them warm.

The sweatshirt he’s wearing is one of Michael’s. His heart flip-flops.

“Did you want to talk now?” Calum asks.

“Yeah,” Michael sighs. Calum nods once. He scoots over on the piano bench, making room, and Michael gingerly sits next to him. After a moment’s hesitation, he offers part of his blanket, nearly sighing in relief when Calum accepts it.

“I’m sorry for how I left, and for not replying to any of your messages,” Calum begins. “That was a jerk move.”

“It was,” Michael says. “You’re my best friend, Calum. If I had known that’s how you’d react, I wouldn’t have--” He stops, because he doesn’t want to say he regrets sleeping with Calum unless he has to. It would be a lie. He’d rather have Calum as a friend than nothing, but the will-we-won’t-we would’ve killed him eventually, and the night itself was amazing right up until Calum left.

“I don’t want to jeopardize that,” he says instead. “You mean a lot to me.”

Calum presses his lips together.

“Why did you leave?” Michael asks. “I thought we were on the same page. I mean… you wanted it, right? You said you did. I thought you did. I didn’t--”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Calum interrupts. “I did want it. I really wanted it. Too much, probably.”

“What does that mean?”

Calum sighs, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his sleeves again. Michael wants to know why he’s so nervous. He wants to grab his hands and hold him steady the way that Calum does for him when he’s freaking out, but that wouldn’t be welcome right now.

“Michael, I can’t do something casual with you. You’ve said before that you’re not looking for anything serious, but I can’t be friends with benefits, not with you. Not when I’m in love with you. It’d tear me apart.”

“What made you think I wanted something casual?” Michael asks. “Apparently you couldn’t tell, but that night was kind of a big deal for me. I’m not exactly known for sleeping around.”

“Michael--”

“I’ve been crushing on you since we met, okay?” Michael says, turning to face him more fully. “I wasn’t looking for something serious with anyone else because I’ve been hung up on you. That night was one of the best nights of my life, and then you weren’t there in the morning. I thought I had fucked up. I thought I had ruined one of the most important relationships in my life.”

“You didn’t,” Calum says, grabbing his hand. “I should have talked to you instead of running away. That’s on me.”

“Yeah it is,” Michael sulks. “Why didn’t you? Why’d you just assume what I wanted instead of bothering to ask me? That hurt, Cal.”

“I know.” Calum grimaces, then shrugs. “I don’t know. I thought I knew what you wanted. Or didn’t want, I guess. I didn’t consider that you could like me until you kissed me, and you’ve never shown interest in an actual relationship. I wasn’t ready for you to reject me.”

“But I wasn’t going to,” Michael says. “You’re you. You’re the exception.”

“I didn’t know that, though. We didn’t exactly sit down for a conversation. Our mouths were otherwise occupied that night, if I remember correctly.” Michael opens his mouth to protest, then snaps it shut.

He doesn’t remember exactly what he said in the heat of it, but he remembers biting back I love you, knowing it was too early to be throwing that phrase around, no matter how true it was. Maybe he ended up hiding the sentiment a bit more than he anticipated.

“You still should’ve talked to me,” he says.

“I know,” Calum replies, squeezing his hand. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better with that.”

Michael squeezes his hand back.

“So,” he says, “you like me?”

“Yeah,” Calum says. “A lot.”

“You got that I like you, too, right? I said that. I’ve had it bad for you since we met.” Calum frowns.

“You took a while to warm up to me. I thought you were still holding a grudge because I spilled your smoothie.”

“No, you had me tongue-tied,” Michael says. “I had to figure out how to function around you. You’re really hot and it made me flustered.”

“Shut up,” Calum says. He’s blushing, crimson staining his cheeks enough for Michael to see, sending a strong thrill of satisfaction through him.

“I’m serious,” he needles. “You’re ridiculously attractive, dude. You’re not going to hear the end of it from me now. I’ve said it once and now there’s nothing to stop me from saying it five times a day.”

Calum laughs and tucks his face into Michael’s shoulder. Michael feels his own happiness bubble up inside him, threatening to burst. He brings Calum’s hand up to his lips and kisses the back of it in an attempt to release some of the pressure.

“Are we boyfriends now?” Calum asks.

“Fuck yeah,” Michael says. “Unless you don’t want to be, but that’d be lame.”

“I want to be,” Calum says quickly.

“Good,” Michael says. “Then we are.”

“Good.”

They sit for a while, and this silence feels comfortable again, like their old ones. Michal could stay suspended in this moment like the final note of Calum’s piano song and feel content with it rather than uncomfortable. That more than anything lets him know they’ll be okay.

“I’m cold,” Calum says eventually.

“We should move by the fire.”

“We should eat breakfast,” Calum counters. Michael hums and gives Calum’s neck an exaggerated sniff, making him squirm and giggle again.

“You should shower,” he says.

“Fuck you. That’s rude.”

“I could join you?” Michael offers.

“These showers are not big enough for two people,” Calum says. “Nice try, though.”

He stands and kisses Michael on the forehead, tucking the blanket back around him.

“Can I kiss you properly?” Michael asks. Calum nods and leans down again, the gentle press of his lips both familiar and thrilling, sweeter in the morning light.

“Breakfast, then I’m going to shower alone, then I think we have a chess game to finish.”

“Or we could make out all day while we have the lounge to ourselves.” Calum considers him, tilting his head and giving a wry smile.

“We can do that if you win the chess match.”

“Deal,” Michael says. It’s an easy bargain, because Michael is better at chess than Calum is, and with that prize on the line nothing’s going to distract him.

“Breakfast,” Calum repeats, tugging on his hands until he’s standing, too. Michael leans forward and kisses him again, just because he can now. Calum beams and leads him to the stairs, Michael tripping over his blanket and Calum’s laugh filling the room.

It could just be the heating kicking in more, but Michael isn’t sure he needs the blanket right now, not when Calum is here warming him from the inside out.

#my writing #5sos fanfiction #malum #michaelownsmyheart #lads. I cannot describe to you the difficulty I had in picking a summary for this bad boy #I'm sorry it's vague but you just gotta trust me when I say the fic isn't bad #I personally think it has some great lines in there #anyway I made the moodboard before I wrote most of the fic what's up with that #just felt Creative I guess #in the wrong medium because I'm really skimming my personal deadline here #anyway! hope y'all enjoy

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patriciasage · 3 years

Text

Dawn Patrol

Author: Patricia_Sage

Fandom: The Adventure Zone - Balance

Summary:

Magnus blushes and he looks at Taako with stars in his eyes. He looks at Taako the way Barry probably looks at Lup. And Barry realizes how fucking stupid he’s been.

[a Stolen Century story - Barry thinks Magnus is flirting with Lup. He's wrong.]

posted in full under the break but you can find me on A03!!

Barry Bluejeans has a crush on Lup the moment he sees her on his first day with the I.P.R.E., but he falls completely and permanently in love with her around Cycle 10.

He speaks the mongoose language with her and Taako like they’re a secret club, and her soft, mischievous smile makes his heart flutter. Barry and Lup combine their expertise of science and arcana, respectively, staying up late into the night drawing diagrams on the Starblaster’s wall. She tells him about her childhood, about how she views the world. She’s vulgar, bold, impulsive, but also incredibly soft and sweet. She remembers what he likes and doesn't like to eat. They play fetch together in Puppy Town and that’s the first time Barry imagines her as his wife. He tells his brain to slow the fuck down; they’ve only known each other for a decade.

When Taako dies for his first time in Cycle 12, Lup prefers to spend nights with Barry in his lab, curled up in his desk chair. Barry gladly provides his company and cozy blankets to her in solace, and she barely leaves his side that year. It’s nice to spend so much time with her, but it also hurts him to see her so sad and trying so hard to hide it. When Taako materializes next to her on the deck as they speed away from another consumed world, she hugs her twin for at least two full minutes, and Barry resolves to do his best to protect her…and protect her heart.

Barry thinks he might have a chance. After all, they are a crew of seven, and one of them is her brother. He figures that Lup might want him, even if it’s just for a night (and although he wants more with her, so much more, he would take anything she offers). But it seems he’s not the only one carrying a flame for Lup.

Magnus Burnsides is a huge, handsome, kind young man who has never half-assed anything in his life. So, when he begins to flirt with Lup it’s pretty obvious. He’s constantly showing off, doing ridiculous and dangerous things to impress her. He attempts to learn more about elf culture and magic, talking animatedly to Lup and Taako while they cook supper. He’s courteous, charming, and brave in ways that Barry could never mold himself.

Magnus also notices how Taako’s death affected his sister, and he seems to make the same resolution as Barry. From that day forward, Magnus always has Taako’s back, even going so far as to put himself in danger to protect the wizard. In Cycle 16, Taako is retrieving the Light of Creation and sets off a trap. Before Barry can even react, Magnus leaps forward and pushes the elf out of the way. Magnus is impaled by six spears. When the fighter appears on the Starblaster with his signature black eye months later, Taako punches him hard in the arm. “Don’t do that again, you big idiot!” There's a stone in Barry's stomach as Lup kisses Magnus on the cheek and quietly thanks him.

Compared to Magnus, Barry feels small and boring and incapable.

It’s not even possible to hate Magnus, though, because he’s so damn hospitable. Instead, Barry resigns himself to the fact that Lup will likely choose the fighter over him. He enjoys her company, tries to keep everyone out of trouble, and finds contentment in this seemingly endless time with his new family.

The Beach World on Cycle 21 is a welcome reprieve. They find the light very early and everyone just relaxes for once. Even Merle enjoys himself as he recovers in the med bay; the others visit him often and begrudgingly help him work on his book of poetry. Davenport practices self-care, Lucretia gets lost in her art, and Taako learns how to surf. But things aren’t too leisurely because Magnus decides he’s going to “train” them to be ready for surprise attacks.

Barry is sitting on the beach next to Lup one hot morning. She’s lying on her back on their beach blanket with a large, floppy hat covering her eyes. She’s resting her arms under her head, telling Barry about a festival her aunt took her to when she was a kid. Barry is trying very hard not to be completely distracted by the sight of her armpit hair, her stylish bathing suit, and her beautiful, brown skin shining in the sun. Barry, in contrast, is sitting under a huge umbrella, wearing a white T-shirt, jean shorts, and a thick layer of sunscreen.

Suddenly, a huge shadow covers the sun and a loud voice shouts, “Magnus!”

Barry yelps and drops his glass of lemonade on the blanket. Magnus sinks to his knees in the sand so he’s eye-to-eye with the scientist. “You gotta be ready, Bluejeans. Anywhere, anytime.” He smiles over Barry’s shoulder. “I didn’t get you at all, did I?”

Lup has lifted up her hat a little to look at them, but her relaxed position is unchanged, unbothered. She smirks, “You’re going to have to do better than that, Burnsides.”

Magnus winks. “Challenge accepted.” Barry feels like a jellyfish blob on the sand between them.

And then Magnus takes off his shirt.

It takes all of Barry’s self-control not to throw himself into the ocean and let himself drown. Magnus has these ridiculous broad shoulders, an even patch of hair across his chest, and his stomach protrudes over his waistband only slightly in that sexy way. His skin is browned and freckled from long days in the sun and his ridiculous biceps flex as he throws his shirt on the blanket next to them. Barry, in contrast, is a pale potato of a man.

He’s ready to get up and leave them to their flirting when Magnus speaks up. “Well, see ya later!”

Magnus hands Barry his now empty lemonade glass and then stands up, brushing sand off of his hairy legs. He sprints across the beach until he’s met with the resistance of the water, making a huge splash. “Hey! Taako!”

Caught up in conversation with Lup, Barry had forgotten about the wizard. Taako is sitting on his surfboard, floating on large but gentle waves about thirty feet away from shore. He’s retying his long blonde hair up into a messy bun. “Hey, big guy. What’s crackin?”

“Just doing some training, you know?”

“Yeah, you got Barry good.”

“How’s surfing today?”

“It’s going off. I’ve only been in the soup a few times but that was early in the morning. Dawn patrol, am I right?”

Magnus laughs. “Yeah, for sure.” Taako has been almost creating his own language at this point.

Beside Barry, Lup snorts. “What the fuck does that even mean?” she says. “Magnus shouldn’t encourage him like that but, eh, you know how he is with Taako.”

“How he –” Barry looks back over at the fighter and it’s like a crisp breath of air enters his lungs. Magnus has sat himself on the sand with his feet in the water. He rests his chin on his hand and watches Taako prepare to carve another wave. Magnus cheers when the wizard stands on the board and laughs when Taako falls into the water. Taako’s long hair is out of its bounds again, cascading over his bare, dark shoulders. As he climbs onto his surfboard, he flips Magnus off. Magnus blushes.

Magnus blushes and he looks at Taako with stars in his eyes. He looks at Taako the way Barry probably looks at Lup. And Barry realizes how fucking stupid he’s been.

Magnus hasn’t been flirting with Lup. Barry has only seen him flirt when they’re both with Lup and Lup is with Taako. And Barry was so immersed in his own insecurity that he didn’t stop to actually observe what was going on around him. Some scientist he is.

At the end of the day, Barry watches Magnus offer to carry Taako’s surfboard back to the cabin. Taako, forever dramatic, convinces Magnus to carry him back as well. It doesn’t take much convincing. Barry looks at Magnus’s pleased and flustered expression with Taako latched onto his back, complaining, and Barry internally ridicules himself for being so dense.

A few days later, Barry asks Taako to teach him to swim. They work on it every morning for a few weeks. It’s brutal in the beginning – Barry flounders whenever he tries to go horizontal and Taako has a tendency to point and laugh rather than help. But they both get better at it and soon they have an amicable and productive routine. Barry goes from indiscriminately splashing to a solid doggy paddle to an almost front crawl. And Taako claps and coos at him like a proud mother.

On the last day of their morning swimming lessons, Barry thanks him and gets up the courage to have an honest discussion. “There have been times where I haven’t been able to hang out with everybody because y’all go swimming and there are times where there’s people I, like, you know, want to hang out with and I just haven’t been able to do it and that’s not a good look and it makes me look like a big nerd and I um… It’s just that— I just, like— I don’t know. It’s… Never mind, it’s stupid. Thanks for teaching me how to swim.”

“Who are you afraid of looking silly in front of?” Taako asks. They’re both standing waist-deep in the water and Barry tries to make his anxiety dissolve. Taako’s approval means the absolute world in this situation.

“I look up to Lup a lot…” he admits.

And Taako is graciously chill. He places his hand on the scientists’ shoulder comfortingly and speaks with rare seriousness. “Barry, you’re locked in and this wave’s crashing all around you, my man, and I— I don’t begrudge you anything. You know, we’ve lost a lot, uh, and there’s a lot more we might lose...but the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of – and it’s time.” This is a side to Taako that he doesn’t show often, someone genuine and wise and openly affectionate.

The wizard’s words echo in his head often – “You got all the time in the world, my man.”

Barry is feeling relieved and grateful as he walks from the beach that day with his sunhat on. Lup will tease him about his sunburn but it will be worth it to be able to swim with her. As he reaches the part of the beach where sand transforms into foliage, something stops him in his trek – the sight of a hulking figure sitting on a rock. It’s Magnus. “Is this another training thing?” Barry asks cautiously as he approaches.

Magnus doesn’t look up. He seems dejected. “No, it’s not. I’m just thinking.”

“Um,” Barry fidgets with the string on his swim trunks. “You alright? What’s going on?”

“I dunno, you tell me, Barry!” Magnus says, gesticulating with his large hands. “What’s going on with these morning swimming sessions?”

Magnus looks disappointed and self-conscious; a combination Barry is very familiar with. He has to remind himself to close his mouth.

Magnus Burnsides is jealous of Barry Bluejeans.

Barry begins to laugh. This just makes Magnus’s cheeks turn red and his eyebrows furrow even more. “Fine, okay, you don’t need to –”

“No, no,” Barry interrupts, approaching the fighter. He places his hand on Magnus’s huge bicep. “Magnus, I don’t know how to - … Okay. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m not worried. You’re a good guy. It’s fine. I just thought that maybe…” Magnus shakes his head, and his expression clears. “I asked him if he could teach me to surf and he said he was too busy teaching you to swim so I guess I was just disappointed because I really wanted to…learn how to surf.”

“Magnus. Taako doesn’t want to…swim with me. And I only asked Taako to teach me because I wanted to swim with Lup.” Magnus looks up at him with hopeful dark eyes. “I really want to swim with Lup. I think I want to swim with Lup for the rest of my life.” Barry chuckles. “For a long time, I thought you wanted to swim with Lup!”

Magnus lets out a startled laugh of his own. “No, I… I want to, uh, swim with Taako. But I’m not sure he wants to swim with me.”

“Well, he doesn’t want to swim with old Barry, that’s for sure.” Barry shrugs. “I can ask Lup, maybe? She’ll know.”

Magnus stands up from the rock. His shoulders are relaxed now. “No, it’s okay. I think he needs more time. I’ll ask him myself one day.”

The Beach World is a gift they didn’t know they needed. They grow closer as a family. Lucretia commemorates it through portraiture. Lup and Taako continue to be firecrackers, burning bright, loud, and dangerous. And Barry and Magnus continue to stare with stars in their eyes.

Merle, Lucretia, and Davenport make bets.

In Cycle 25, Merle wins.

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superbadassnatural · 4 years

Text

Supernatural: The Musical

Summary: After an exhausting case, Y/N decides to give her boys a little treat. Square filled: Fan Fiction - episode (spntfwbingo) // Free Space (deanandsambingo) Pairing: Sam x Reader x Dean Word count: 2,172 Warnings: fluff, polyamourous relationship, feelings, brief mention of threesome A/N: Not gonna lie, I rewatched this episode and I cried. Again. Gosh, this episode gets me so emotional. I’ve changed some things, but the prime idea of the episode is intact. This was written for @spntfwbingo and @deanandsambingo. Hope you like it ;)

(x)

The strays of sunshine struggled to get past the grimes on the blinds, adding an orange glow to the motel room. Your eyes fluttered open. You blinked a few times as your hand fumbled through the nightstand in search of your phone. It was way too early to be awake. Although you knew you weren’t going to be able to go back to sleep.

You and the Winchester’s were exhausted. What was supposed to be a simple, quick salt and burn in Flint, Michigan ended up taking you guys a whole week to get it done. The boys were grumpy and impatient. Especially Dean. He’d complain every single day about the cheap motel you were staying in. Of course, it wasn’t the best thing in the world, but it wasn’t the worst either. You were now too used to the bunker and the homey feeling and everything less comfortable than that would cause some stress.

While in the bunker you three shared a bedroom with a giant super-king-sized bed, in the motel you had two kings. And you had to take turns between their beds. One night you’d sleep with Dean, the other with Sam, and so on.

Deep down both of them enjoyed having you all for themselves. They were now used to the idea of sleeping on the same bed with you in the middle. But Dean loves to sleep with you without his brother hogging the blanket. And Sam loves when he gets to hold you close to him without having his brother’s arm draped over your waist.

It is what it is. You still remember that one night after many drinks and lots of confessions while playing Never Have I Ever, you ended up in a hot, sweaty Winchester sandwich. Then feelings got in the way and you refused to choose between them and risk ruining their bond. So to your surprise, they had decided to share you and try this unconventional relationship. 8 months later and you guys are still strong.

You reached for Sam’s arm — that held you close to his chest, engulfing you in his warmth — and lifted slowly from your waist so you could get up.

“Where you going?” he mumbled, though his eyes remained closed. His voice was hoarse from sleep.

“Shh, I’m just going to get us breakfast,” you shushed him, removing a few strands of hair from his tender face. “You can go back to sleep, baby,” you placed a kiss on his pink lips.

Before you went to the bathroom to get ready to leave the room, you walked towards Dean’s bed. He was sound asleep. His plump lips parted and his hair spiking in different ways. You kissed his temple. His eyes squeezing unwittingly.

You changed your clothes and grabbed the car keys. Before walking out of the room, you left a note on the table to let them know you went out to grab breakfast.

There was a coffee shop a few blocks down the road that promised they had pie worth dying for. You ordered a latte for yourself and black for the boys, along with sandwiches for you and Sam and four slices of pie, since you knew Dean would have at least two.

As you waited, you couldn’t help but glance around the place, taking in every detail. It was very homey. The smell of coffee was delightful and the environment was really cozy.

“Marie is really stressed with her play,” you couldn’t help but hear the woman talk to her friend beside you. “She worked really hard and she’s worried about tonight.”

“I’m sure it’s gonna go great,” the other woman said. “I have never read those Supernatural books, but I’m sure the kids did a great job of turning it into a musical play.”

You almost choked on your own saliva. What the hell? Supernatural is now a musical play?, you thought to yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you approached them. “I didn’t mean to pry, but I heard you say that there’s a musical play of Supernatural and I’m a huge fan.”

“Really?” the dark-haired woman grinned wildly. “My daughter is directing the play.”

“Oh, that’s amazing!” you replied. “I’d love to attend this play. Do you know when they’re performing?”

“It’s tonight actually. It takes place in St. Alphonso’s Academy’s auditorium. It’s a school play,” she exclaimed. “I’m sure that there are a few tickets that hadn’t been sold yet. You can buy it at school.”

“That’s great!” you jabbered. “I’m gonna do this right away.”

“The school is close by. Just a couple blocks down the road.”

“Got it. Thank you,” you replied, leaving them be as you grabbed your order and headed out of the cafe.

You were back at the motel in no time with breakfast and three tickets for “Supernatural: the musical”. You knew they wouldn’t be fond of it, but it was the kind of distraction you three needed.

“You’re not dragging me to this,” Dean growled with a shake of his head.

“C’mon Dean, this can be fun. We need to relax a little,” you whined.

“Fun? There’s nothing fun about our lives, Y/N,” he hissed.

“Baby, please, it’s a musical. It’ll be nice,” you cupped his stubbled cheeks. “Please, for me,” you pouted, batting your eyelashes.

The hunter let out a defeated sigh with a roll of his eyes. You grinned.

Dean is usually more difficult into talking him out of something. In the beginning, you had a hard time convincing him to agree to do what you asked. But time passed and you learned from Sam that if you give him your best puppy dog eyes, he’ll give in. Ever since you learned that you have your way with both of them. Just a simple batting of lashes and a kicked dog face are able to get them to do whatever you want. And right now you want to go to that concert.

“I can’t wait to see this,” you beamed, hopping out of the backseat once Dean parked in front of St. Alphonso’s Academy.

“You’re weirdly excited about this,” Sam frowned.

“You know, I wanna see who is portraying us. And if I’m at the story at least.”

You entered the auditorium and made your way to your seats. As usual, you were sitting between them. Dean got up before it started to grab some popcorn and — since there was no beer — coke for you and water for Sammy. He’d be happily drinking whiskey from his flask.

The lights went out and the auditorium was dark, save for the spotlight on the curtains. A girl dressed as who you assumed to be Sammy appeared on stage.

“Good evening everybody,” she greeted. Her wig was on point. “Welcome to our production of Supernatural.”

“Look, that’s you,” you nudged Sam, whispering.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “This is weird,”

“Not gonna lie. It might be a full-on Gallagher show up in this piece, heh,” she warned. “So those of you in the front rows may want to use the ponchos we provided under your seats. You may in fact get wet on this ride.”

“She’s so nervous. That’s cute,” you said.

“So everybody just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.”

With that, she walked out. Rock music began to play and the curtains opened slowly. You were so excited you could feel your heart beating faster. In fact, you looked like a child in a candy store.

The whole scenario was beautiful and it was obvious they had put so much effort into it. As a girl dressed as Dean appeared, your Dean almost choked on his popcorn.

“You gotta be kidding me,” he muttered.

“John and Mary, husband and wife,” Dean, the character, began to sing, “Bringing home a brand new life. His name is Sammy. I’m big brother Dean.”

You were completely loving it so far. The boys… well, they weren’t hating it. Both of them had their brows furrowed as they tried to get used to the idea of the musical.

“There’s no singing in Supernatural,” Dean mumbled.

Despite their annoyance, in no time you could see Sam tapping his fingers on his thigh according to the beat of the song. As you look down, Dean was also tapping his feet. So they were enjoying it after all.

As Sam, the character, started singing a song about Dean, you felt the boys tense a little. You reached for their hands. This play was starting to hit them somehow.

The play went on. Eventually, a girl dressed as yourself appeared on stage. It seemed that in the books you were dating Dean. Yet, there was something odd about the way your character was close to Sammy. Subtext. And it was funny how they put on some tension — sexual tension, you dare to say — between Cas and Dean. Again. Subtext. The musical went on. Its primal focus was the story of the two brothers so you didn’t appear on most of the scenes. Either way, you enjoyed seeing yourself from a different point of view.

What seemed to be the final act started. The boys were driving baby. This time you weren’t on the scene. It was the so-called BM scene — no, not bowel-movement, but boy melodrama.

“We need to go back on the road, Dean,” fake Sam glanced at his brother. “Doing what we do best,” a smile appeared on the girl’s face. “Saving people. Hunting things. You know, the family business.”

The scene played out in front of you and the boys smiled. They tightened the hold on your hand as if to be sure you were there with them. You had tears in your eyes and you were trying to hold them back or both of them would pick on you for the rest of your life.

“You’re right, Sammy,” fake Dean smirked. “Out on the road. Just the two of us.”

“The two of us against the world,”

A sob escaped your lips. Two sets of eyes landed on you. Sam and Dean smiled sympathetically. You were definitely the most sensitive out of the three of you. Dean wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You laid your head on his shoulder. Sam grabbed your hand between his giant ones and pressed to his lips. As Dean’s thumb caressed soothingly your waist, Sam’s did on your hand. Both of them reassuring you they were there with you.

“The three of us against the world,” Sam corrected. And here you thought you couldn’t love him more.

A girl over the piano started playing “Carry On My Wayward Son”. The girl who had played Mary started singing, followed by the one who’d starred as John. Then the cast joined them. Their voice was beautiful and it only made you cry even more.

“Who’s that?” Sam asked as a girl with a short, blond wig appeared.

“I think that’s Adam,” you sniffed. “You know, your brother who’s still in the cage trapped with Lucifer,”

You were an entire mess. Lots of tears running down your flushed cheeks. Seeing your lives from another point of view really hit you. And most important the reminder of the Winchester’s unbreakable bond.

Sam stared at the scene in front of him. The youngest Winchester was not sure about what he was feeling. He only knew there was something in his chest that wasn’t there before. He had hope. Deep down he’s starting to believe that, despite all the things he had been through, there might be a way out. Maybe one day everything will end and he’ll be able to live a peaceful life. A normal life. With all its boredom and safety.

The corner of his lips curled up a little. His hazel eyes held a glisten of hope.

Dean was on a internal conflict as the musical wrapped up in front of his eyes. This was a light version of his life. It didn’t have all the blood, all the pain, and all the losses. It didn’t show how broken he is. And even though he’s had many moments of joy, his life was miserable. In his point of view, there might not be a way out of hunting. This play hit him harder than he’d like to admit.

The oldest Winchester’s jaw clenched slightly. His green orbs reflecting how broken and hopeless he felt.

————— “See, it wasn’t that bad,” you pointed as you climbed in the backseat of the impala.

They only hummed in response. Yep, a school play hit them hard. The roar of the impala broke the silence as Dean started it.

“So, Destiel huh?” you smirked, knowing it would piss Dean off.

“I still think it should be Deastiel,” Sam replied. “What about Samstiel?”

“That sounds weird. I think it’s Sastiel,”

“You’re probably right,” Sam nodded, but you could tell there was something his mind was working on. “CasDean?”

“Alright,” Dean barked. “Both of you, shut your faces.”

Feedback is always appreciated! Please, let me know what you think of this one. Feel free to share your thought via reply, reblog or ask.

Want to get tagged? Add yourself to my taglist here!

Dean sweethearts:

@maya-craziness

Sam babes:

@maya-craziness

#spntfwbingo #deanandsambingo #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #sam x reader #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #fluff #crack #sam winchester imagine #dean winchester imagine

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heanv · 5 years

Text

Sunflower | Haechan

genre: college!au,relationship

warning: the d word mentioned(?)

word count:2.1k

requested by: @ hyuckysunflower

song: sunflower by rex orange country

Everybody meets their soulmates no matter when but eventually this happens. You had your luck to find yours in the second year of high school. You knew he was the one, you truly felt it.

/I want to know,Where I can go/

You knew Haechan since you were six or seven years old. He always somehow ended up playing with you on the playground and your houses are really close to each other you both were literally like siblings. You made your own courts pretending to be a kingdom where he was the king and you were his queen. He was the one who taught you how to ride your bike and the one who would buy you an ice popsicle in the hot summer days. You loved each other back then and you still loved each other but this love grew stronger with the years and eventually became a real love with a strong bond. You remember how nervous he was when he first asked you on a date and then your first shared kiss only a month later when he took you to the rooftop of his house and told you he loved you.

/So won't you stay for a moment,So I can say/

Now two years later ,happier than ever you guys are planning your future and everything seems perfect. You and him will attend the local university then after you both graduate you will spend a year of travelling around the world and when you came back he would propose to you and the little cozy wedding you both dreamt for will be held in the back of Haechan’s house since it was bigger than yours and after that you both will find jobs and a small family house and eventually have kids and live happily,

/Cause right now you know that nothing here's new,And I'm obsessed with you/

But not everything may not happen the way you guys want it.

You were accepted in the local college and so was Haechan. Some days before the official day for applying the documents for the college ,Haechan received an interesting email. Since the local college wasn’t the only school you applied for ,knowing that you don’t really need something else you picked some schools near the town Haechan also but there was one school he secretly applied for thinking it was impossible to choose him because it was a college for music and art and beside the grades they wanted a photo of painting or a video of singing or playing an instrument. You knew how much your boyfriend loved singing and music but you didn’t know much he wanted to study there but he didn’t mind giving up his dreams for you.

So when Haechan opened the email that said he was accepted in the music college he was on cloud nine.

‘’oh my god’’ he whispered to himself. He knew how hard is entering a school like this and he had to reread the email more than 5 times until he was sure that what he sees was right.

Then it hit him like a sharp slap from the reality. What about you? What about the perfect plan of yours for the future? Will you hate him if he decides to go into the music college? And the worst will you two break up? All of the questions popped into his head and didn’t leave him alone for the whole night.

/ Then I fell to the ground/

In the morning he already knew that he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to study in his dream college but the guiltiness was eating him alive. How was he supposed to tell you? So he decided to make the dumbest decision in his life- to start slowly avoiding you so you could forget him easily. It hurt him so much to ignore all of your calls and all of your messages you sent because you were confused what was going on.

/ I don't wanna see you cry,you don't have to feel this emptiness/

He hated himself so much and he didn’t leave his house for the following day and lived as if he was in a cave until his bestfriend Mark came on the morning of the third day. He knocked on Haechan’s door and after a minute of waiting the door was slightly opened enough for Haechan to see if it was his girlfriend.

‘’Man, whats going on?’Y/n is going crazy, why don’t you pick up her calls or answer her texts?’’

‘’I cant’’ said the other boy not having enough courage to look at his friend’s eyes.

‘’What? What happened,dude?’’ Mark sat next to him on the bed.

‘’I got accepted at the college of music and arts’’ Haechan mumbled,still not looking up.

‘’Oh my God, that’s fantastic! Congrats,man!’’ Mark hugged his friend with a big smile.

‘’Yeah it’s nice but the college is 5 hours away and me and y/n were supposed to study here. How am I supposed to tell her that we have to break up because of me ?”

‘’Whoa,whoa ,man,hold up. Who says that you guys should break up? You love each other so much its getting annoying and beside that y/n is good enough to understand you, you know this ,right?

‘’Do you think she would hate me?”

‘’No,no way, maybe she would be a little upset but its okay but I really think she would support you.’’

“you think so?” haechan finally decided to look up.

“ i know it,just talk to her,ok?”

“yeah,i must talk to her” he whispred to himself.

Haechan thought of a different ways to tell you and it took him one more day of ignorirng you. He felt even mote guilty but he just wanted to show you how much he wanted to study there.So in the end he texted you.

“Hi,love.Sorry for being a dick just got something really important i want to tell you about and i just really needed time to think about it and i can tell you everything if you come tonight at my place and once again im so sorry, i love you”

He knew that you were mad by the way you answered.

“ok”

at least you answered.

/'Cause I don't wanna feel like I'm not me/

Haechan felt really bad for ignoring you so he prepared something special.He made a picnic with candles on the floor on his balcony.When the doorbell rang he was trying to calm himself because the guilt was choking him.When he opened the door he was greeted by the cold look on your face making his pain twice bigger in the spur of the moment.

“Hey” was the only thing he could mummble in this uncorfomtable moment.

“Hi” you whispered feelingless although a little piece of insecurity could be seen in your eyes.

/Sunflower still grows at night/

You followed him to his room, the whole air filled with tense silence and when he closed the door of his room he stopped finally meeting your eyes now realising that are filled with a pure sadness.

“What happened,baby? You dont love me anymore?” you whispered silently but enough for him to hear and enough for his heart to break.You let your tears quietly fall on your face and when your boyfriend saw this he immediately embrased you in his arms.

“No,baby, how could you think about this? I love you too much, i’d rather die instead of leaving you” he whispered his hand gently playing with your hair and the other holding you even tighter.

/You know you need to get yourself to sleep,And dream a dream of you and I/

You sob for a minute more and then you look up to him.

“Then what’s the matter? What happened?” you stared in your boyfriend’s dark endless eyes as if you would find the answer in them.Still holding onto each other he takes your hand and leades you to the balcony. You gasp at the beautiful sight of what he has prepared for you.

“This is the least thing I could do for you after everything” he said as if he just read what you were thinking.

You both sat on the blanket on the floor ,feeling the warm wave of the candles as if it was hugging you.

“So i guess i will finally have to tell you”

/I promise I'm the one for you/

You nodded singlnaling him you are ready to listen carefully. “You know how much I love music,right? And you know how we are supposed to go to the local college but 3 days ago i received an email which said that...” he paused for a second and took a deep breath “ i am accepted in the college for art and music” he looked at you,taking another deep breath “the one i told you about some months ago”.

You just stared at him.No reaction,no word came out of you and he took this as a sign to continue.

“ i know how it sounds but this is college where is really hard to get in and when i applied was something like a back-up plan because i didnt think they would choose someone like me but it looks that they have” he chuckled to himself not daring to look at your eyes that was burning holes through him. “ y/n i know we had a plan and ruining it wasnt something i was looking forward to at all but i hope you can understand what a chance this is for me. i love you so much and the thought of having you 5 hours away from me kills every single part of me and i-“

“i love you haechan” you intereppted him.” i love you so much and i know how much music means for you and i cant tell how much proud i am from you because i do how hard is getting into a colleges like this one and-”

/Just let me hold you in these arms tonight/

its your turn to pause.

“ i wont mind if you go there and study” haechan looked at you with widened eyes ready to pop off their place “ i know its gonna be hard and i know that i will not be able to see you everytime i want to but i guess that this could be a challenge for us, like we live near each other, we went to the middle and highschool together and having you apart could only either make our relationship stronger or either we will end up breaking up” you both looked at each other seriously “i think that we are not kids anymore and we have to act like grown up people” your boyfriend nodded, staring at the empty wall probably dived in the mess in his head “ look i love you way too much and i know that you love me too so the thing is that i dont want us to break up just because we are scared of how the things will turn out” you pause reaching for haechan’s hand and hold it tightly and he responds to your touch in the same way.

/And so she sat me down and told me that I didn't have to cry/

“i cant believe how smart you are,y/n, you may be proud of me but right now im prouder of you and i feel that the connection between us is stronger than some 5 hours” you both smile warmly at each other still holding hands.

although you couldnt explain how much happy and proud of your boyfriend you were you felt a wave of sadness washing over you and it seemed that haechan saw that.

“baby, i know its gonna be hard and it probably wont be the perfect relationship but just think about all the trips we are going to have either you will come to see me or i will and in the dorm i will take as much as photos of you, of us i will take so everyone knows that im taken by the most beautiful and smart girl ever” he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and you cuddled into him “and when i bring some of my new friends here ot when you come to see me im gonna show you off as if you are the only thing i possess”

/And then told me that she'll love me for as long as she's alive /

the huge blush on your face and the sparkles in your eyes gave haechan a sign that everything is going to be alright, that there will be you and him in the future and because the love you had for each other was stronger than the distance you were about to have between you and he knew that he is the lucky one to find you and he was gonna keep you,no matter what.

/Sunflower still grows at night/

masterlist

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simply-wins-little-sis · 7 years

Text

Faults and Breaths

Request: Hello! I would like to request a sister Winchester story, where the reader has a panic attack, and her brothers try and comfort her, but since she is closest with Dean and he’s the one that can calm her down. Lots of fluff will be appreciated. But if you’re uncomfortable with it, it’s totally okay. Xoxo

A/N: Thank you for being my second request ever! Girly I am always here for you if you ever need it, and that also goes for the rest of you lovely beings reading this! This actually was quite challenging for me, but thank you for giving me this request. Remember you guys are never alone, and my inbox and ask box is always open! I love you all, and this stuff hits a little close to home so I am here to help boos! Reminder that requests are open and so is the tag list 😊

I hope you like this, and if you don’t I will gladly rewrite it for you!

Pairings: Sam and Dean x sister!reader and if you look really closely a mention of Castiel

Warnings: THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL BOOS! One swear word (I think) and some (what I hope) is fluff!

Tags: @percussiongirl2017 @metaphysicalmisha @winchesters-favorite-girl @sisterwinchesterwriter @missygun

Your brothers sat focusing on research at one of the many tables in the library as you tried to focus on your homework. The words on the page of the book being read over and over as your mind could not comprehend the sentences you had to read. Your pencil tapped quietly but you soon dropped it as the motion only helped speed up the harsh palpitations your heart began to create. You tried taking deep breaths, but they only increased the feeling of a loss of oxygen, but this was caused by panting, and not taking the time to focus on breathing. You were too caught up in the jenga game of your emotions, as you tried to push all the pieces into their spots so you wouldn’t crumble into a pile of feelings.

Nothing had really encouraged this dread and panic that you felt. You had a nice dinner with your brothers, and had had a nice conversation with Castiel about butterflies before you went off to do your homework, shortly followed with a touch on the arm by Sam, and a nudge by Dean as they moved to the table ahead of yours. Everything had been a peaceful bliss, but now your world seemed to be crashing down and this sudden feeling of terror sweeping over your shell as quickly as your heart repelled against your chest.

Your shaking hands tried to close the book, but the pencil moved into an awkward angle. As you tried to straighten it next to the book, your shaking limbs continued to push it into everything except the line you so desperately wanted. That’s when you felt the piled emotions crumble inside you as you curled into yourself. Your back curved into an arch as shudders and chills racked your body. You pushed the chair back and fell to your knees as you tried to get oxygen into your lungs. Your emotions demanded to be felt as you tried to shove them away. Your vision began to tunnel into darkness as you continued to strive for a break in the storm.

That’s when Sam tried to reach out towards you but the unfamiliar feeling created more strain on your chest. More panic ensued on your face as you couldn’t recognize him. He looked just like he did the night he left, and the image began to replay in your mind along with memories from across your years of living. You were choking on air, and trying to grip onto yourself for security. Sam tried to reach you once again but you were so deep in the feelings being shoved into your sight that you once again retreated into a deeper state of panic.

That must have been when Dean came back into the library. You hadn’t noticed he had gone to grab a beer in the kitchen. You had been too occupied with the pencil, and overwhelming words on the pages of the book. He immediately dropped the beer onto the cold floor of the library and ran towards your crouched being.

He pushed Sam farther away and pulled you into his grasp, where he began to stroke your hair and shaking limbs. “Try and count for me baby girl, please?” he asked, knowing he would not be getting a response from you. “Ready? Come on baby you remember from before? We both breathed in on 10 and kept going for nine, eight, seven,” Dean continued in a steady tone as he also continued stroking your hair.

You could hear his counting, and began to repeat it to yourself. Your lips never moved, as the repetition only happened in your head. Your heart still hammered as your breathing was gaining back some of its cool. The numbers began to take up all the thoughts in your line up and soon, each emotion filed back into its spot on the tower, but this time nothing was trying to pry at them. Your heart steadied as you continued to count.

You leaned back into Dean as tears welled in your eyes. You realized one of your hands was cramped under your leg, and the other was gripped onto Dean’s arm. You pulled the one under you out, but continued to grip Dean’s arm. Your body ached and your eyes continued to allow little water droplets to hit your cheeks.

“Hey, hey, hey no crying down there,” Dean said as he took his hard -skinned fingers and rubbed at the tears. You curled up into him more, and let out a breath you had been holding.

You sighed, “It happened again, didn’t it?”.

Dean looked down into your strained pupils, “Yeah, it did but that isn’t anything to worry about. You’re safe right here. I’m here little sis, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll always be here to help you through this,” he pressed a kiss to the top of your forehead.

Dean felt you shiver and nodded towards the blanket. Sam immediately grabbed it, and went to place it on you, when Dean intercepted and grabbed it. He draped it over your shoulders. Your head rested against his chest. You stayed there for a while, and soon the strength you used to fight through had caught up to the rest of you, and had taken a lot out of your energy supply. Your eyelids drooped as you listened to Deans breathing, trying to copy it, and focusing on it and not what had just occurred. You were soon asleep and sprawled in the confined, but cozy space of your big brother’s lap.

Dean picked you up, and carried you to his bed, laying you in the blankets that had been sprawled about from the previous night’s sleep. He then moved towards the closet, and quietly opened the closet door. He shuffled around a box or two, and reached inside one of the two. He pulled out a ragged bunny, and put it right next to you. He smiled at the sight of it, remembering more than his younger brother, who was watching from the door, could ever know.

He then flicked on the bedside lamp, turning off the overhead light and exiting the room, but leaving the door open. He gave no glance to Sam as he moved down the hall.

“What, what happened back there?” he began, lip quivering like it did when he was a toddler.

“What do you mean Sammy?” Dean rubbed his hand over his strained face. He knew this was coming as soon as he saw the look on Sam’s face as he had entered on the scene.

Sam looked down to his big brother as they were now back in the library. He gave Dean a slight attitude as he said, “I mean why was our baby sister not allowing me to help her through her panic attack which, oh yeah, she had before?!” he whisper yelled.

Dean sighed as he took a seat at the library table he was previously at. He closed his eyes and held the bridge between his nose for a second. “Sam, look, you’re her big brother. She loves you and you mean a lot to her so why not just leave all the questions without answers for now?” he tried to reason.

Sam shook his head, “No, you have some explaining to do,” Sam gripped the chair that was now almost completely tucked under the other side of the table.

Dean began to tell the story of the first night in which the panic had first set into your mind. Sam’s eyes widened as he realized why Dean didn’t want to tell him.

“She just thought it was always her fault, and I hate you for that. I hate you for giving that shit to her, but you know what, she’s stronger than the both of us combined. I can’t help that every damn time she thinks about you leaving she tenses up, or every time someone mentions a college or an argument between family members she grips onto the nearest thing she can see. We can’t fix it, so the best thing I can do is be there for her, and hope she feels the soft of that bunny and remembers the nights I spent calming her down, and the peace she felt after the attack. I’m sorry I hate you, but I can’t help it, I can’t help but blame you for this Sammy,” Dean now had tears in his eyes.

Sam felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest. His arguments with your father, and his storming off made you feel so insecure. He was the reason this was in your system, or at least that was what Dean said. He put his hand through his hair.

Suddenly you called for Dean, and he jumped up to get to you. Sam was left alone in the lit library as he tried to process all he had heard about the times you panicked, and the attacks that lingered in your childhood memories. He slowly got up and moved towards the doorway in which he could see Dean snuggled with you on the bed. You were watching some animated movie that looked older, and your voice coolly singing along to the songs made him feel the corners of his lips pry at a smile. His heart decided against it as he moved away.

Dean gave you another squeeze as you giggled at one of the characters, just as you would have done if you were still the little girl no bigger than his hips.

You noticed Sam move away. “Isn’t he coming in here?” you asked.

Dean shook his head, “Not tonight, he’s a little-,” but you interrupted him.

“It’s my fault isn’t it. I disappointed him, didn’t I?” you sighed.

Dean shook his head and gave you a stern look, “No! Don’t you dare say that again Y/N Winchester. You will never be a disappointment to us!”.

After a little while you looked over to the empty doorway, “He knows it isn’t his fault, right?” you asked.

You didn’t even have to hear Dean’s worded response before your feet hit the cool floor, and padded down towards Sam’s room.

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darling-cas · 7 years

Text

We Are Young: Deleted Chapter

Throne of Glass High School AU

Note: Here it is, the deleted chapter. This got cut from the actual story because it just didn’t fit with the flow, but I still wanted to share it with you guys. Technically, this chapter would have been chapter 12 - not the Rowaelin date chapter. So all this takes place between chapter 11 and chapter 12. Also, big shout out to @miladyaelin for giving this a quick edit for me! There will most likely still be some mistakes, as this didn’t go through the editing process these chapters normally go though. And some stuff may be repeated as I did add it to the main story, this is a different way. But I still hope you enjoy!

Main Chapter | Masterlist

--------------------

Elide was happy to say she’d been feeling a bit better in the past few weeks.

Not 100% better, but better nevertheless.

She still held so many questions. She still went to bed feeling lost and went through her day feeling confused. But her talk with Aedion a few weeks ago really did help. And the couple of talks they’ve had since then weren't that bad either.

She realized that sexuality isn’t something easy. It’s complex. There were so many things she didn’t know and had to continue to learn. But she was slowly starting to figure out who she was. She was starting to come to her own. Yes, there was still a long road ahead of her, things she still had to open herself up to, but she’d get there in time.

“I feel like I need to be wearing my skates,” Aelin said, gripping the railing as they walked up the front steps of the school. “There’s so much ice I’m scared I may actually fall and break my leg.”

“I’m sure your Uncles would love that,” Elide couldn't help but laugh, especially as Aelin huffed, a cloud of cold air floating from her nose.

They were into mid-December, just over a week away from Christmas break. And if the weather today was any indication, they were in for one hell of a cold winter. Snow already covered the ground around them, with thin sheets of ice hiding underneath nature’s white blanket. The air around them was brutally cold and bitter. Flurries of fat snowflakes slowly fell from the gray sky.

It truly was a beautiful frigid winter wonderland.

“If I were to break my leg, I may as well break my neck too,” she said. “Because Uncle Weylan and Uncle Orlon would actually kill me.”

“Especially if you were to hurt yourself now, when you’re just over a month away from Nationals.”

“Don’t remind me.” A half-hearted groan made its way out of Aelin’s lips. “Uncle Weylan is bad enough.”

Elide laughed as the two girls walked through the main doors of the school. The warmth of the building hit them immediately, and Elide couldn’t help but sigh at the heat.

The main foyer of the school was nice and cozy with big holiday decorations. There were garlands hanging in the doorways, wreaths hanging on every door. Fake, light up snowflakes were hung from the ceilings.

Just the thought made Elide more excited for Christmas. Even though it would also mean no school, which meant being home more with her Uncle. But thankfully she had amazing friends who let her crash at their places. Plus she always spent Christmas with Aelin and her family, so she was never truly alone.

“You seem happier lately.”

Elide’s attention drifted to Aelin. The blonde was watching her with a careful eye, the smallest smile on her lips.

Elide couldn't help but let her own smile form. While she had been trying to figure out herself these past few weeks, she also realized how important having her friends around was. And how much she missed spending time with them.

“I am happier,” she admitted.

Aelin nodded, her eyes shining. “I’m glad.”

“The same could be said about you.” They turned down a crowded hallway as Elide spoke. “You seem happier these days too.”

The smile that was already on Aelin’s face grew. “I am happier.”

“Does a certain white-haired hockey player have anything to do with that?”

The grin on Aelin’s lips was contagious as she glanced over at Elide. The gold in her eyes seemed to glow at just the mention of Rowan.

“Definitely.” Aelin wrapped an arm around Elide’s shoulder. “But just know, I’m always here for you, if you ever need anything.”

Elide did know this. She knew this all along. But that didn’t stop the gratitude from shining on her face as she glanced up at Aelin.

“I know.”

Aelin gave Elide’s shoulder a tight squeeze before dropping her arm. The two fell into a comfortable silence as they continued down the hall. And Elide couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, her life was slowly started to untangle itself.

Then she slammed into a hard chest, just as she and Aelin turned the corner.

“Sorry. Didn’t see you.” This was half-heartedly said, as a strong set of arms gripped Elide by her arms, steadying her.

But the touch and voice just caused her body to lock up.

Slowly, her gaze moved upward. And sure enough, she was met with a pair of onyx eyes.

This was the first time she’d been this close to Lorcan since the party. Of course, she saw him all over school. But that was from a distance. She didn’t exactly go out of her way to walk into Lorcan. Partly because she didn’t want to find out what she’d feel if she got close to him again.

But standing there then, Lorcan in front of her, Elide was somewhat surprised to notice that she felt ... Nothing.

She didn’t feel any different than she had a moment before. Her heart didn’t jump. Her stomach didn’t twist and turn. She felt normal. As if any other person within the whole school had just banged into her.

Lorcan held Elide’s gaze for a moment longer, before raising a questioning eyebrow at her. If he noticed her or remembered the fact they’d made out a few months before, he didn’t comment on it.

“Can we help you, Salvaterre?”

Aelin’s hard voice brought Elide back to reality. She took a careful step backward, Lorcan’s hands dropping back to his side.

Lorcan’s face turned cold as he rolled his eyes.

“If it’s not my least favourite person in the whole school.”

Aelin huffed, crossing her arms across her chest as Lorcan’s dark eyes snapped to her.

“Oh, bite me.”

“I’ll leave that to Rowan, Galathynius,” Lorcan said, looking Aelin up and down. “Though I’ll never understand what he sees in you. All I see is a spoiled little bitch.”

Aelin took a slow, dangerous step forward. Her brows pinched together as she gazed up at Lorcan, face murderous.

But before she actually got a chance to say anything, a voice called out from behind Elide.

“Lorcan. Are you coming or not?”

Elide looked over her shoulder, only to find a beautiful curly-haired, brown-skinned junior standing just a few feet away from them. She had a hand on her hip, eyebrow raised as she looked between the three of them. Elide recognized her as Essar, the girl who was with Lorcan at the party.

Lorcan held Aelin’s gaze for a moment longer before slowly nodding his head. He sidestepped Aelin and walked right passed Elide, without so much as another word.

“God. I hate that boy so much.” Aelin sighed, her arms falling back to her side once Lorcan was gone. She turned to Elide, a look of concern on her face. “Are you okay?”

Elide didn’t answer right away. She couldn't help but keep her gaze on Lorcan and Essar.

She watched as Lorcan approached Essar, her eyes softening as he got closer. He said something, causing her to roll her eyes. Lorcan then wrapped an arm around her shoulder, guiding her away.

And Elide still felt no different. She felt the same watching them as she did watching Lysandra and Aedion.

Turning back to Aelin, Elide felt her lips pull up in the corner.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’m okay.”

“Good. Because I’d kill him if he ever hurt you in any way.” Aelin returned the smile before straightening her bag on her shoulders. “Come on.”

Together, the two continued on down the hallway as the warning bell for first class rang.

Elide couldn't help but think over Aelin’s words. And she couldn't help but realize that maybe Lorcan didn’t hurt her. Maybe he simply helped her, in a way. He gave he a little push to help her discover who she truly was.

With a heavy sigh, Elide continued to walk next to Aelin. But a flicker of silver hair in the corner of her eye caught her attention.

Turning her head, Elide found Manon leaning against the locker, talking to Asterin. She must have felt Elide’s eyes on her, because she looked up, causing their eyes to lock.

And this time, as Manon gave her the tiniest smile, her heart did jump and her stomach did twist.

This time, she felt… something.

--------------------

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…”

“For the love of God, stop singing.”

Dorian came to a stop next to Chaol, the biggest grin on his face as he leaned up against the lockers.

“Why? Does my singing bug you?”

“Tremendously.”

“Everywhere you go-”

Chaol slammed his locker door shut, turning to Dorian with a glare. “Do you want to spend Christmas in the hospital?”

The threat was empty, Dorian knew it. This fact alone was one of the reasons why he couldn't help but laugh. Though he did stop singing.

“You’re not the biggest fan of hockey - even though you play it - and you basically hate Christmas.” Dorian pushed himself off the locker, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. “Are you even human?”

Chaol rolled his eyes before making his way down the hallway. Dorian followed him as they headed towards their third class of the day: biology.

“I like hockey, that's why I play it,” Chaol said. “And I don’t hate Christmas. Christmas just means spending time with your family. And it’s my family I’m not the biggest fan of.”

“Hmm, very true.” Dorian couldn't help but agree. Lord knows he didn’t want to spend any more time with his family - especially his father - then he had to. “And that’s why I’m glad we spend half of Christmas with Aelin and her family.”

Chaol nodded his head, face completely natural. But even so, Dorian couldn't help but watch him for a moment. It had been months since he and Aelin made amends and got back on friendly terms, but old habits were hard to kill sometimes. Dorian was used to Chaol making a face or a comment whenever he brought up Aelin’s name.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Chaol sent Dorian a look. But Dorian could see the corner of his lips start to twitch in a smile. “I’m not going to turn into the Hulk because you said Aelin’s name.”

“You never know, old habits die hard.”

This earned him a punch in the arm, causing Dorian to chuckle.

“But seriously,” Dorian said after a moment. “I know it’s been months, but you two are completely fine now? No hard feelings at all? Everyone's built their bridge and walked over it?”

This time, it was Chaol who chuckled.

“Yes. We’re fine. We’re friends. Are you scared we’re going to go back to hating on each other suddenly or something?”

“Well, it was tiring being the referee between you two all the time.”

“Besides, she truly seems happy now with Rowan. He’s good for her.” Chaol commented, his voice genuine. “And I’m happy now too.”

“With whom?” Dorian nudged Chaol with his shoulder, a smile pulling on his lips.

He pretty much knew the answer already. He just loved pushing Chaol’s buttons all the time.

Chaol rolled his eyes. But his lips still pulled up in the corners and Dorian swore he saw the faintest pink appear on his cheeks.

“Hey, I’m happy for you man.” Dorian clapped him on the back. “I think Nesryn is really good for you.”

“If you knew who it was, why even ask?” Chaol glanced over a Dorian, who gave a lazy shrug.

“Because you’re my brother. I'm supposed to tease and bug you.”

“How about I start teasing and bugging you and your love life?” A delish smile formed on Chaol’s lips. “Or lack thereof.”

The smile slipped from Dorian’s face. His brows started to pinch together as he met Chaol’s gaze.

“I have a love life.”

“You have a sex life,” Chaol said. “There is a difference.”

“I'm just waiting for the right girl to come along,” Dorian waved him off as they got closer to their classroom. “Aelin and Nesryn are already taken.”

“You’re funny.”

“I’m hilarious.” Dorian shot Chaol a blinding smile. “But seriously. I’m fine with my life at the moment. I don’t need a girl-”

Dorian was so caught up in his and Chaol's conversation, he didn’t even realize someone was walking out of the Biology classroom until he turned to walk through the door, walking into a student instead.

Papers and books went crashing to the floor, along with the girl Dorian banged into.

“Oh god,” Dorian dropped to his knees, helping the girl pick up her dropped things. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see-”

Dorian trailed off as he handed the girl her bio book, looking up. He felt like the breath had been knocked out of his lungs. He took in her chestnut hair, hair that was woven back into a braid. Beautiful brown eyes, flecked with green, glanced up at him for a brief moment before going back to picking up papers. Her golden skin seemed to glow in the bad school lighting.

Shit.

“It’s fine.” The girl scrambled to her feet once all her papers were picked up.

Dorian continued to help by following her lead. He still had her textbook in his hands. Once he was on his feet, he slowly handed it out to her.

“I’m sorry,” were the only words his mind seemed to form as she took her book back.

Then he truly felt like he was going to pass out when she sent him the tiniest smile.

“It’s fine,” she said so softly, Dorian wasn’t even sure he heard her right.

Another beat passed up with Dorian simply staring at her. The faintest pick started to form on her cheeks. And before Dorian could do anything, she quickly mumbled a goodbye, getting out of the situation as fast as she could.

Yup. He was definitely in some shit.

Chaol let out a chuckled, clapping Dorian on the back.

“You were saying?” He said, smirk on his lips as he walked pass Dorian into the classroom, heading towards his seat.

Dorian wanted to glare at him. He wanted to be mad. But he couldn't. In that moment, it seemed impossible.

He couldn't help but feel like his life just took a turn for the better.

--------------------

The day came and went for Aelin in almost a blur. But in a blissfully good way.

She couldn't remember going to any of her classes, but she was so content and happy that she didn’t care. It was almost like she was in a happy daze all day. Actually, it was like she was in a happy daze for weeks now.

And Elide was most definitely right. It was because of a current white-haired hockey player.

Aelin couldn't stop the smile for forming on her lips as the bell rang, signaling the end of last period. She quickly gathered up her things before making her way out of the classroom and into the already crowded hallway.

Honestly, Aelin couldn’t remember the last time she felt this relaxed and content.

Everything with Rowan, it was easy. Good. Ever since they shared that kiss by the pond a few weeks back, things had been going wonderfully. They were both in nice and better places. The talks and dates and teasing was good. The kissing was definitely good. Aelin and Rowan were good.

Good, but still taking things a bit slow. Well, slow by teenager’s standards these days. They’d gone on plenty of dates before - most of which ended with a heated make-out session in the back of Rowan’s car. But aside from the constant making out and touching, that was it. Which Aelin understood. This was Rowan’s first relationship since Lyria. Aelin wasn’t going to push anything.

Weaving in and out of students, Aelin made her way down the hallway, which was abuzz with people chatting excitedly about Christmas and being off of school for two weeks. Aelin herself was pretty excited. She loved Christmas. And even though this Christmas break she was literally spending every day at the rink, training for Nationals, it was going to be nice to have a break from school. Plus, she’d get to spend more time with Rowan.

Just thinking about this brought a bigger smile to her face.

Aelin rounded the corner, and a head of white hair immediately caught her attention. And damn, Rowan looked good in his jeans and shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Just the sight caused her heart to flutter in her chest.

“Hey goodlooking,” Aelin said as she approached his locker.

Turning around, a smile lite up Rowan’s face when his gaze met hers.

“Hey,” he said, bending down to place a quick kiss on Aelin’s lips. Just the feeling on his lips brushing against hers left her wanting more. But before she had a chance to react, it was over just as fast as it started with Rowan pulling away. “How was your day?”

Aelin gave a lazy shrug of her shoulder, leaning up against the lockers. “Pretty uneventful.”

“That doesn’t sound like a typical day for you.”

“Hmmm,” the smile on Aelin’s face was bright, her eyes sparkling as she watched Rowan place some books in his locker. “Maybe I should go find Manon or Lorcan. It’s been awhile since I’ve punched one of them in the face.”

Rowan gave a slight roll of his eyes as he closed his locker door. Those pine green eyes turned to meet hers and Aelin felt her heart jump. The way those eyes all but glowed, the slightest twitch of his lips, the look of pure happiness on his face, there wasn’t anything Aelin loved to see more. A truly happy Rowan.

“I love that.”

Aelin tilted her head to the side slightly. “What?”

“Seeing that smile on your face.” Rowan took the smallest step closer to her, a lazy smile on his lips. “Seeing you happy.”

“Good.” She breathed, her grin growing. “Because I love seeing you happy too.”

Rowan took another step towards her and suddenly, everything and everyone around them disappeared. It was just her and Rowan, in their own little world. Those eyes held her in place, captivating her. She thought for sure she was going to feel his lips brushing against hers any minute now, and her heart started to pound in her chest.

“Do you have practice every day this week?”

Or maybe not.

Just the mention of practice broke whatever spell took over a moment ago. Aelin could feel the smile slowly start to fall off her lips as the hallway came back into focus. Her mood started to drop little by little.

Practice was… rough lately. With Nationals coming up in just over a month, and with Aelin still having yet to land her triple-triple, she normally left practice in a sour mood. Uncle Weylan said she needed all the practice she could get. So over Christmas break, they were having practice for hours on end every day. And if she didn’t land her triple-triple by New Years, they were taking it out of her program.

To say the thought frustrated her a little bit would be an understatement.

“Every day up until Sunday,” Aelin sighed. “Uncle Orlon convinced Uncle Weylan to take Sunday off because they need to do their Christmas shopping.”

The sparkle in Rowan’s eyes turned mischievous. “So you’re free Sunday?”

“Possibly.” Aelin couldn't stop the smirk from pulling on her lips. “Why?”

“Because,” as if it was possible, Rowan took a step closer to her. “I have a surprise for you.

“I love surprises. Especially ones for me.”

“I know you do.”

Aelin could feel Rowan’s breath brush against her cheeks as he spoke.

“Then it’s a date.” She smiled.

They’d gone on dates before, and they were always hanging out in between school and practices. But there was something about the way Rowan’s eyes lit up, something about the way his lips formed a lazy grin, that had her stomach twisting and turning. In the best way possible.

“It’s a date.” He agreed, letting out a breath before his lips brushed against hers.

It was meant to be a soft, gentle kiss. One appropriate for the hallways of the school. But Aelin couldn't contain herself. Just breathing in his scent, tasting his lips on hers, caused all thoughts to leave her head.

She grabbed the front of his shirt as if it was her lifeline, pulling him closer. She couldn’t help herself as she moaned into his mouth, the kiss deepening.

She could spend the whole day kissing Rowan, and not have one single problem with it.

Rowan placed his hands on her hips, fingers digging into her sides. It was like he was restraining himself. Like he had to stop himself from pushing her up against the lockers and taking her right then and there.

They were taking things slow. That didn’t both of them particularly liked the idea most times.

“Fireheart,” Rowan breathed as they pulled apart, resting his forehead against hers. The roughness in his voice caused her stomach to knot.

“Buzzard,” was her response. A smug smile graced her lips as Rowan let out a deep chuckle.

Placing a kiss on her forehead, Rowan took a step back.

“Come on,” he said, reaching his hands towards her. “Let’s go.”

Aelin nodded, her smile turning soft as she placed her small hand in Rowan’s big one.

And as they walked together down the hallway, Aelin realized, for the first time in years, she truly felt at peace.

Because of a current white haired hockey player smiling down at her.

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