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vegeta-bananabluish · 4 months

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Ten days to full bloom (Secret Santa fic)

Title: Ten Days to Full bloom Author: Bananabluish Gift for: The lovely Aevy WC: ~2200 Summary: Under the cherry blossom trees, painting the land in powdery pinks and whites, Goku discovers what it means to be in love with his newly-wed wife, Chi-Chi. AO3 Link: Here

Ten days to full bloom

Goku and ChiChi stood hand in hand, gazing out at the breathtaking view from their new home on Mount Paozu. The cherry blossom trees surrounding their land painted the landscape in hues of powdery pinks and whites, casting an atmosphere that looked so dreamily serene, that it verged on magical. Chichi's lavender cheongsam beautifully blended into the colors of the landscape, in contrast to Goku's appearance. Looking down at his signature orange gi, adorned with hooks and tears here and there, made him feel like he stood out like a sore thumb. He was brought back into reality when Chichi absentmindedly plucked a small twig from his hair—remnants of his sparring session with Krillin earlier in the morning, and Goku felt an unwelcome surge of heat in his neck.

Turning slightly to hide his blush, his gaze naturally fell upon their new home, built next to the flank of a tall mountain. A spring breeze persisting for days, had blown an abundance of flower petals into their yard, blanketing the grass in a fluffy layer of pink. According to Chichi, the cherry blossoms would paint the view from their kitchen every year from now on, as the month of March turned into April. Having shared the same roof for just a few days, Goku found himself already captivated by the depth of Chichi's knowledge on things that had never even crossed his mind before. Goku slightly turned to her, trying to catch the murmurs slipping from her lips over the rustling leaves. He gathered she was saying something about how this view was the perfect setting for the beginning of their new life together. Goku understood the words but didn't quite grasp what Chichi was actually saying. In fact, the whole concept of 'marriage' still left him bewildered, despite his participation in the wedding. He glanced down at their intertwined hands with a puzzled expression, uncertain why she had insisted on this gesture. Did this also come with 'marriage'? He now knew that 'husband' and 'wife' were supposed to have physical contact in the bedroom, but did this also extend throughout the day?

Suddenly, the voracious growl of a beast rumbled from his stomach, ruthlessly shattering the tranquility that had embraced the moment. Goku's cheeks reddened again as he apologetically rubbed the back of his head. “Oops, guess I'm getting hungry again, Chichi.”

Chichi frowned—she was still full from their heavy lunch, and the dishes weren't even dry yet. Goku seemed like a bottomless pit when it came to food, which burdened her with a lot of extra work, but she could never suppress a smile whenever Goku showed unease around his infinite hunger. “It's time to start dinner then.” Chichi seemed to relish the quiet stroll back home in the shared silence between them. Goku felt the need to say or do something, but had no idea what husbands were supposed to express to their wives in such moments as these. A little later, Goku effortlessly stacked a few sizable wooden crates on each other, his muscles flexing with the ease of a man who dedicated all his time to his training. Chichi observing from the doorway while the pots simmered behind her, couldn't help but worry, despite her inability to take her eyes off his bare muscular arms. She shook her head to dispel the indecent thoughts clouding her mind. "Goku, be careful! Those boxes are heavy, and I don't want you breaking my mother’s china," she admonished.

With a nonchalant grin, Goku assured her, "Don't worry, Chichi. I've lifted much heavier things during training." He was well aware that Chichi was likely just as capable of carrying everything into the house, but she had emphasized that it was more fitting for it to be a 'husband's job. Goku, in his typical fashion, gladly seized every opportunity with both hands to break a sweat. Wondering if Goku even knew what 'china' was, Chichi turned around with a huff, carrying a heap of towels inside. She could no longer tolerate looking at his careless conduct. Nevertheless, she was pleased her new husband was able to bring everything inside quickly. They had spent the past few days with the absolute bare minimum— getting by with just a bed and some kitchenware, because the remote location of their home had been challenging for the moving truck to reach. It didn’t take long before they had brought most of the belongings inside as Goku didn’t possess anything other than the shirt on his back and the boots on his feet. There was only some kitchen furniture left standing in the grass. While carrying their new dining chairs inside, Chichi gracefully managed two chairs stacked upon each other, and Goku haphazardly handled the rest. Peering around the mountain of furniture, he stole a glance at his new wife. He couldn’t ignore the warmth growing inside of him whenever he looked at her. The sensation resembled ki-generation whenever he powered up for battle, but it seemed more concentrated in his chest. The first time he experienced this feeling was an hour before what everybody had called ‘the ceremony’. In the white wedding dress, her radiance was akin to the silver twinkle on a stream’s surface... or a flock of white doves catching flight... or like the sweetest whipped cream he ever tasted. Seeing her like that tickled his insides in all sorts of funny ways and ever since he had tried to pinpoint exactly what it was about. He noticed it especially when she looked directly at him, and her large brown eyes radiated a warmth that reminded him of afternoon sun on freshly upturned soil. In the following days, as they settled into their new home, Goku carried this puzzle with him, determined to keep trying to figure it out. It was during one particular quiet evening that Goku was hit hard by this new and unfamiliar feeling. In the soft glow of the sun drooping into the horizon, Goku and Chichi found themselves sitting on their porch, surrounded by the delicate fragrance of cherry blossoms. It surprised Goku that although he wasn’t particularly fond of flora, he now paid attention to how the orange light tinted the blossom petals. Goku's eyes lingered on Chichi's profile as she spoke about her day, explaining where she had found the herbs she had incorporated into their last meal, detailing her explorations of the surroundings.

Even though Goku had exceptionally enjoyed her culinary skills—he had inhaled everything set out on the table in a matter of seconds, her words completely faded away in the presence of her beauty. That peculiar feeling suddenly hit him again, striking him like a bolt of lightning this time, and he blinked in surprise.

"Chichi, I... I think I'm feeling something strange," Goku admitted, his tone of voice just as confused as his expression.

Chichi turned to him. "What do you mean, Goku?"

"I don't know. It's like my heart is doing something funny when I'm around you.” Goku scratched his head, trying to make sense of these newfound emotions again. “Is that normal?"

Chichi chuckled, her laughter striking him right in the chest. "Goku, that sounds a lot like love. It's what married couples feel for one another, if all is well.

“Love?” Goku pondered the word, letting it roll off his tongue. He didn't know much about the love between a man and a woman, except for what he’d seen on Master Roshi’s television, but judging by the impractical clothing the ladies wore, that source of information didn't seem so reliable either. So far, the whole concept had been far outside of his world. That is, until recently. Could he have fallen into it without even realizing it? His eyes slid inquisitively over her features, willing her to elaborate. But she kept her mouth shut. Why did she often talk when he didn't care for it, but when he wanted her to speak, she remained tight-lipped? There was a certain gleam in her eyes that he wasn't used to seeing from her though. When getting into bed that evening, they engaged in that one thing they had done almost every night since their wedding. Whenever they shed their clothes and lay down on the mattress, it was almost as if Goku’s instincts seamlessly took over. His gaze, as though he was on the battlefield, focused on her with intensity. But instead of defeating her in martial arts, all he wanted was to feel her, kiss her, taste her, everywhere. To feel and be inside her. In the last few days, he had begun to grasp what he needed to do to bring out more of the delicious sounds she would make whenever he solely focused on her. With each added night of such intimate entanglements, he found himself drawn to her in more ways he didn't quite comprehend. He began noticing the subtle details—the way her hair fell whenever she turned her head, the softness of her touch whenever she plucked a fluff off his back, and the warmth of her smile whenever he joined her in the same room. She didn't laugh so often, but when she did, his day inexplicably brightened. Exactly ten days after their wedding, Chichihad convinced him to join her again in the orchard. She had told him that the Japanese cherry blossom tree bloomed for only two weeks, and she wanted to seize every opportunity to enjoy it. Despite Goku’s initial resistance—he was reluctant to interrupt his training, he harbored some curiosity about what she had in store for him.

They walked along a low-hanging tree, and Chichi reached out to pluck a small branch with flowers. She tucked it into her hair, behind her ears, and Goku found it strange that while he still didn’t particularly care for flowers, he found that this specific bloom complemented her beauty so well. He came to the realization that he wouldn't want to change anything about her.

As they strolled through their yard, and into the treeline, Goku absorbed the serene beauty of his wife and of the landscape, noting that even though by far most flowers had opened, there were still a few buds waiting to burst into full bloom. It suddenly struck him—just like these blossoms, his heart was in the process of opening up to Chichi, revealing layers he hadn't known were even there.

Goku abruptly halted mid-step. Sensing his absence next to her, Chichi pivoted, expecting her husband had dart off, perhaps in pursuit of another bird like last week. She spotted him standing still behind her, a different expression on his face than his usual sunny demeanor. As Goku approached her, a sudden breeze caused the cherry blossoms to rain down around them like confetti and Goku couldn't contain his feelings any longer. "Chichi, I think I've figured it out. I... I love you," Goku confessed. His eyes, for once, did not reflect his usual childlike enthusiasm but instead pooled with sincerity.

Chichi’s eyes widened before she broke out in that specific radiant smile he craved to coax out of her. "Goku, I love you too." She lifted her arms to cradle his head in her hands, flattening a few black strands with her fingertips, and gazed deep into his eyes for a moment. The moment froze in time and without the need for words, they both sensed that everything was just right. After blowing a falling pink petal from his brow, Chichi kissed her husband. As he felt her lips on his, the warm ball in his chest sprang to life again, this time expanding into a warm mixture of warmth and nervousness throughout his entire torso. Goku wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling the lean muscle beneath his fingertips through her dress. Being more confident that Chichi was experiencing the same kind of strange sensations he felt for her, he deepened the kiss, pulling her tighter against him. His body spontaneously came alive with her proximity up to the point that his heart tried to break through his ribs.

Before the wedding, he had thought marriage was a new type of exotic dish—or maybe something gross Bulma had cooked up in her lab. But it wasn't until ten days after their wedding day that he truly understood what it was all about: Chichi vowed to always be there for him, and he realized how incredibly lucky he was that someone wanted to spend a lifetime with him. This woman was even prepared to feed his perpetually hungry stomach to the point of satisfaction, no matter how difficult a task that proved to be. However, as their lives had further intertwined, Goku realized it was not about satisfying his stomach but his heart.

As the last few gold-orange streaks in the sky dissipated into the night, they embraced onto a tapestry of fallen petals, making Goku feel like he was part of something secret and special, a new chapter of his life beginning. As if guided by an unseen force, their embrace effortlessly moved into something more. When they made love under the canopy of pastel pink that night, the moon cast its spell over the orchard, their shadows dancing with the blossoms, creating a ballet of love that was almost surreal.

#gochi #goku x chichi #Goku fluff #Goku fanfics #Honeymoon #Secret Santa Dutch Discord #sonaevy #bananabluish #First ten days after their wedding

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bonebirds · 5 months

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I don't normally do this and I honestly feel like it's... bad, somehow, but it's a pretty small circle here and idk, I just need some kind of validation or... something? Look I'm bad at this but I am really trying /o\ Everything is just fucked and internet hugs would be nice.

Work:

ignored my original request for medical leave in March

instead tried to PIP me in April (HR intervened and was like, why? All this employee's feedback is positive and they've never been an issue?)

ignored my request for medical leave in May

granted 2 weeks PTO for me to move in the summer but my director also included things like "you will never get benefits for medical issues" and "if you have to quit, I'll help you get a job somewhere else" (paraphrasing) but that if I kept asking for time off, I'd... be... in trouble, vaguely? I'm basically treated like he wants to fire me but alas, cannot :( He does promise to look into any employee emergency funds or help given everything outside of work sounds Bad. He never does.

I emailed HR in June to be like, "my doctor is advising I stop working because I am becoming physically ill from stress and can't function, I am having daily panic attacks logging into work, and btw, my manager has been emotionally manipulating me into working through this illness despite my doctor's documentation" and never heard back.

After I moved, in September they moved me to a team where they did not train me on anything, and my health continued to deteriorate until I just didn't show up for a week and my new manager actually helped get HR involved. I was at this point visibly in meetings losing my fucking mind and calling out former managers for driving this all.

work agrees to grant me paid medical leave but will get back to me about how much of my salary I'll collect on leave. I am given Sept 20-December 31 off.

They don't get back to me at all, and I collect a full month's salary in October. NB: we get paid once a month, at the end of it. This took 5-6 weeks of ignoring the process on their end.

9 days before being paid for November, I'm told I can burn the rest of whatever PTO I have but they will not be paying for this leave. They don't tell me how much that is.

undoing pretty much any and every progress I'd made on de-stressing and recovering from everything else, triggering a shingles attack, and I have zero savings, zero benefits, and zero fucking idea about what to do aside from try to fight for paid leave

I am putting this here mostly because it's too much to hold in my head all at once, ever, and I try to break the last 9 months down and just... like, my god? I showed up to work during all of that. I asked for more and more to do. I did the training and the meetings and the job, and... I am paying out of pocket for treatment because no one there gives a shit and everyone believes the manager I emailed HR about (since fired!***) because she never documented... anything.

So I look like I did nothing for a year and then just asked for leave to cover my ass.

*human trafficking**

**I'm not kidding and I'm really fucking tired of trying to kid about it or talk around it because just being like 'haha, life events" or "drama!" is vague enough I guess people are like "yeah I stress sometimes too" when it's more like "my organs were physically shutting down from stress and I had a complete nervous breakdown when I realized what was going on" :|

*** There's so many layers to this because we were friends before co-workers but she also spent months trying to keep me in a city where I was actually in danger and gaslighting me about helping with it all so she could keep me in the city, so, you know. That was going on too?

I'm not really looking for advice (I'm in the process of looking into what legal protections I have, don't worry) so much as... I don't know. This is fucked, right? This has just reached a level of fucked where I don't know how to keep trying. I was fighting for this job because if I could just pay off another, like, ten grand of debt I'll be okay enough to breathe a little, and I like the folks I work with and it's not a bad gig, and I quit a PhD for this place, and them paying this leave was literally going to be a saving grace I so needed, and...

Yeah.

If nothing else, like, I get to be mad about this, right? I'm trying so hard to actually let myself be mad without flinching from that feeling because it's like all or nothing, I am just defeated and crying and giving up or I am breathing fire and going for their jugular, and neither is practically helpful.

I don't know, man.

But yeah there you go, that's why I had to move accounts suddenly and lost, oh, 98% of my social circle earlier this year 😵‍💫

Jusssssst.

At least typing it all out and looking at it square in the face like that is, yeah. That's horrific treatment. And worth fighting. Even if it's just a few grand, or... something. I don't know. I'm just so fucking hollow all the time again. I was just so close to somewhere less precarious, emotionally and financially.

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jadednightwing · 1 year

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A Year of Making - Week 20

after.... more than 2 months (my last post was on week 9), I'm finally back into a maker headspace again. I wasn't idle during that time, but a lot of what I did was ephemeral - which is not something you can photograph.

it's not all that interesting, so the TLDR: did a lot of reading, did some organizing, got sick, got better, and took time to reassess.

the picture is of a tissue holder... I have made one before, but this one was in a different style and....I mean... the other style I made in the past was easier but I wanted to use some of the fashion fabric I had in my stash. it breaks my heart that the beauty and the beat stained glass fabric is a discontinued design, so I'm trying to be careful with how and where I use it.

it's a bit too small, but it should still be useable. it was very much a "that looks simple enough... oh.... oh no..." type project

.......

for those who are actually interested in what I've been up to; the head cold lingered for the majority of March (not COVID thankfully, just a nasty bug), and then I had a case of the sads - which really stifles the creativity - and that started the shame spiral that took a while to bring myself back out of.

In April, my sister and I went to a local anime convention - the first we've been to in... at least a year, if not more. I'd forgotten about it until a few days before, and with the sads, there was no way I was gonna be able to get a cosplay together. I thought I might be able to pull an older cosplay out of storage, but none of them fit for various reasons. (body dysmorphia doesn't help either). Regardless, we had a good time and I became aquatinted with a couple cosplayers I didn't now l know before.

Finally, over the course of both April and May, I've been futzing with the Silhouette Cameo I had gotten second hand over a year ago... boy oh boy was that an exercise in frustration. Lesson learned was to read carefully and don't assume that just because a machine is new doesn't mean it has wifi connectivity. I won't go into the ranting details, but it's making me look at my 3d printer and consider attempting making a stamp for fabric prints instead of using a die-cut design to make a screen print.... it makes sense in my head, but I'm not sure how to explain the differences in processes in layman's terms...

Throughout all that I worked through my TBR list, and tried to keep up with adding books I finish into my Libib app to track what I've read this year. My mother got me three box set of my favorite YA book series "Into the land of Unicorns" - and she ordered it from the author, and he signed them as well. 😍 I still need to read them again, but that was very exciting.

I also finally gave into the BookTok influence and read "A Court of Thorns and Roses" - and I can understand the hype. Debatably problematic author aside, the story of the series is compelling and... I can't say it's well written, as there are some very overused terms and phrases... I enjoyed it. It is an entertaining story that sucks you in.

it also introduced me to the fabulous world of Graphic Audiobooks - fully voiced cast, background sounds, music - I'm addicted. To the point that it has sparked the desire to write again if only to have my stories given the same treatment.

I won't be sharing any information about any writing I do as an experiment with working around the ADHD gremlin and it's inability to finish projects, but if/when I manage to finish a complete draft, I will be shouting it from the rooftops.

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resinatingbeauty · 3 years

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Witchcraft & Expectations

What do you really expect from the Craft?

I had considered writing this for a while before actually doing it just because I didn't want anyone to feel like they were being attacked or singled out. Offending you isn't the purpose of this post, so please do not be discouraged by anything you read here. There is no wrong way of practicing your Craft and to each their own. I was just curious about perspectives when it comes to your expectations regarding Witchcraft, magick, and spirituality as I have dealt with many different people following many different paths since focusing more on my Craft and art through my shop which began on Mercari and grew enough to become more established on Etsy.

I do sell many spiritual / witchy items from personalized spell kits to witchy mystery boxes compiled with Intuitively chosen and my own handmade, one of a kind items. Among the most popular spiritual offerings are my 'buy one get one miniature spell jars,' which allow my customers to select two general purposes or a personalized request from which I assemble and enchant a miniature glass spell jar containing herbs, crystals, essential oils, and other objects based on their needs and requests. I wanted to make these little portable vessel talismans more available to everyone price and purpose wise, compared to others that have been charged with a more specific intent or devoted to a specific deity.

I have a long history of using spell jars myself for various purposes whenever I feel compelled to create one or a special occasion arises. I'm picky about larger jars and bottles, however, so they are usually created in small corked jars or in larger jars that I will sometimes embellish or try new things to integrate that allow the spell jar to also be an appealing or intriguing piece of handmade everyday decor while serving its spiritual purpose, such as the one in the photo above.

For the most part, I have found a surprisingly amount of success with my spell jars. Not just myself, but others as well have reported events that they thought were directly related to their spell jar. I had created one for my neighbor a couple weeks ago who had been searching for a better job than the one she had at a preschool. The day after I gave her the jar, she received a text from an old coworker who notified her that a position at a bank she had applied at months ago that had nothing available at that time had just opened up.

This actually exceeded my expectations. In my experience, magick takes time. Others who have commented on the success of their spell jars or magick in general would contact me a few weeks or so after using their spell kit or receiving their spell jar. I created a spell jar back in January to help jumpstart my small business selling my crafts and Craft and didn't really start to see a huge change until mid-March-April where I was more successful than even I anticipated.

This was about on par with what I expected in terms of time, as most spells I've ever done have taken days, weeks, or even months to start manifesting results that couldn't be passed off or ignored. To be sure, I include a scroll with each of my kits and jars explaining how they are best utilized, to have patience, how to set a purpose and intentions, the power of thinking positively, and that magick rewards those who are willing to work and make sacrifices for what they desire. To me, all of these things are virtues that this path teaches us and are part of what makes the Craft so empowering overall. Whether it was the spell or your hard work, you are the catalyst for change. You made things happen. I mean, what is more empowering than that?

This is part of the reason why I personally chose to over spell kits and magickal tools rather than offering to cast spells or perform rituals on one's behalf. It was my desire to make YOU feel empowered and you are the one ultimately responsible for your own success or failure, whether spiritually or otherwise. I'll gladly steer you down the road of success and provide you with my knowledge, experience, and guidance, but I am always clear about what to expect.

Unfortunately, we live in a time where instant gratification is anticipated and expected, which I never considered in terms of Witchcraft. I knew that no matter how many times I write 'set realistic expectations, focus on your purpose, be patient, and keep doing what your doing' that some people would just blow through all that hoping that they just bought a quick fix for all their problems for $6.99 + a buy one get one deal.

Two weeks or so ago, I had received an order for said jars from a young man who simply said he wanted a personalized spell jar for lucid dreaming and dream work and selected his second 'free' one for self empowerment. I reached out to clarify and answered some of his questions. My immediate impression from him was one of discord. He expressed a lot of turmoil in his life over the past few months and claimed to have taken on a lot of responsibility. He seemed young and eager, with a ton of questions regarding magick in general. I answered his questions the best I could, but reiterated the same values I expressed in the previous paragraph when asked why such and such spell wasn't working, 'should I not have done this,' etc. Magick takes time to manifest, especially when it comes to financial purposes like he explained which are inherently unlikely to resolve themselves overnight.

He seemed happy enough with his purchase and said as much when he received his package. A couple days later, I received a notification about a review he had left which was negative, saying one of his spell jars didn't work with a message delivered in tandem asking what purpose I had set for his spell jar.

Let me say this: I am not upset with him or complaining about his review. He is entitled to his own opinion, although I was annoyed with how quickly he had come to the conclusion when in the instructions I provided him I specifically said that these things take time to work. Anyone who receives results instantly or within the next day or so are exceeding my own expectations. Which is great! Hooray!

But this is definitely not the standard I've come to expect in all the years I've been practicing the Craft.

I continued chatting with and answering this young man's questions and ultimately uncovered that he was upset about a variety of things that had been going on in his life. In his mind, he felt entitled to have these things work for him sooner rather than later and was frustrated and angry that nothing he tried had been working out the way he expected.

In the time that I have opened my little shop, I have (thankfully) only run into one other person like this- where their understanding of Witchcraft seems to have been compiled from television and movies. After the first, I learned to tread lightly around these individuals because, whether it's their fault or not, they have been mislead.

Television shows like old school Charmed and the newer Salem and Witches of East End are really entertaining. I enjoyed watching them, but they are the absolute enemy of those who practice magick / witchcraft as a form of religion or spirituality. Sure, some of these shows actually do their research. Even Buffy the Vampire Slayer was ahead of its time introducing Wiccans, Technopagans, and New Age practices to pop culture and in many ways helped to show people an obscured version of the truth during the 'Satanic Panic' period when even witches hated being called witches and the pentagram / pentacle difference became an actual difference that wasn't just a choice of words.

Newer generations growing up with Harry Potter, which is hardly a great introduction into magickal traditions, were at least more open minded than the previous generation to the actuality of witchcraft and magick as a spiritual practice.

I mean, who doesn't want to snap their fingers and make the house tidy in one fell swoop?

I sure do. But even when I first started practicing at 11 I understood that that just isn't how it is.

This young man who was saying he lead a coven sounded more like he was LARPing than legitimately asking for spiritual guidance. I realized real quick that I couldn't do anything for him. What he wanted and expected, no matter how many times I referenced the instructions I provided (he evidently hadn't acknowledged) and relayed to him my own experience and expectations, he was looking for that 'quick fix' and someone or something to blame for when it didn't work the way he thought it would. The main reason for his complaint? The night after he received his spell jar, he said he just dreamnt about the moon.

My understanding of lucid dreaming was having direct control over ones dreams. The more I talked to this person the more it became clear that this wasn't his understanding of lucid dreaming. I tried to ask what he had tried to gain that control, as many of you know that I suffered from sleep paralysis for years and taught myself how to realize and 'break out' of it over time. He referenced making offerings to a goddess. I had to stop.

I'm sure that another business minded witch would have sold him something else or offered an exchange. I (stupidly) tried to make him understand that he has the power to manifest his desires. All I did was provide him with a tool to help things along.

This was the same for the woman I had dealt with months ago who said that she had been told by this coven owned business that she was a vampire reincarnated to be with her lover. That was the ultimate end of our conversation because she didn't seem very open to anything I suggested. Whether the things she bought were 'effective' for her or not we will never know. When she started messaging me to the point of harassment I deleted her messages and flagged them as spam. All this time and effort spent consoling someone who really isn't in the right frame of mind for magick or witchcraft.

The main point in writing this ranty post is to get the perspective of the community. What are your expectations for your own spells? What do you tell others when they ask? If you are also a 'witch shop' owner or own your own spiritual practice how do you deal with clients that have set unrealistic expectations for you and your Craft?

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gear-project · 3 years

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4Gamer Interview GUILTY GEAR STRIVE DEVELOPMENT INTERVIEW. "The Secret Story of the Development of the Trailer Movies, Opening Movie, and Story Mode."

Source: 4Gamer Translation: Yours Truly (Gear-Project)

Guilty Gear -Strive- (the fighting game) was released by ARC System Works on June 11th for PC/PS4/PS5/ARCADE. This is the latest work in the popular "Guilty Gear Series" of fighting games, which began with the original Guilty Gear in 1998.

Speaking of the Guilty Gear Series, it is a title that has been highly supported by Arcade Gamers for a long time as a fighting game where you can enjoy complex negotiation, but that is not the only degree of perfection by which a fighting game is evaluated. Video works with expressiveness that move in 3D graphics drawn in the style of 2D animation along with complex stories have been attracting a great deal of attention.

This time, 4Gamer asked the Production Staff including Mr. Daisuke Ishiwatari to tell the secret story of the development in the video portions such as the opening movie and story mode, aside from the "fighting game" parts of Guilty Gear -Strive-.

The Interview was divided in to two parts, the first concerning the opening movie with interviews from Art Directors Hidehiko Sakamura and Hiroshi Nagano, followed by the Story Mode itself with interview from Daisuke Ishiwatari and Hidehiko Sakamura.

In the Second Half, the Story Mode discussion tries to avoid spoilers as much as possible, but some discussion was included, so please be careful if you want to AVOID SPOILERS TO THE STORY MODE.

The Opening Featured in the Story as a Compilation of Works:

4Gamer [4G]: Thank you for your time today. In the first part, we will ask about the opening movie. It was released two days before the release date, but how was the response?

Hidehiko Sakamura [HS]: It was better than we imagined. Since the opening of the past series was only made according to the format of a fighting game, I think that the full animation like this time was fresh and more pleasing.

youtube

[4G]: The format of a fighting game is like introducing a full-body picture of a character and battle action. Why did you make it full animation this time?

[HS]: Nagano was particular about "I want to do full animation without including images of fighting games." I wanted to do the same thing myself, so I decided to adopt the full animation opening this time. All the videos are produced by Nagano alone.

Hiroshi "Ryo" Nagano [RN]: The story of the Guilty Gear Series is a popular title, and this time the story of Sol has come to an end, so the opening of the full animation featured the story as a culmination. I wanted to make it anyway.

[HS]: It's a big thing to break the story. I think I had a strong desire to take on the challenges that I had wanted to do but couldn't do, and to make a satisfactory break. Originally, all the staff like animation. It's true that there was something I longed for to make a video like this one, and I thought that the format of a fighting game (by itself) wouldn't look as good.

[4G]: It's an attempt you've never done before, but are there any parts that you were particular about in the overall composition of the opening?

[RN]: What I had in mind was the completeness of the story. I want to convey something like the connection between Sol and "That Man" from the Opening. I also think that Sol and Ky are the main characters in the series, so I was aware that the end of the video would emphasize Sol and Ky.

[HS]: As an Order from Ishiwatari, it doesn't have to be a fighting game, but there was an attractive cut for each character. After that, spoilers of the story were strictly prohibited, so I asked Nagano a lot of variations at the time of composition.

[RN]: There was also a point where I wanted you to make it closer to the image rather than making it a short movie that gathers the highlights of the story. Mr. Katano (Akira Katano), the Development Director, told me that there are a lot of non-playable characters involved (laughs).

[HS]: That was a difficult part (laughs). The fighting game part is the main part, but there are many characters that only appear in story mode.

[RN]: I really wanted to put out more, such as President Vernon (laughs). Also, in one particular part, the impression changes before and after watching Story Mode, I would like you to review the Opening after playing Story Mode!

[4G]: How long was the production schedule?

[RN]: It was about three months. Since I was left to myself, I couldn't do it, so I was very conscious of the parts I had to make in 3 months.

[4G]: Please tell us if you had any difficulties during production.

[RN]: I was always worried about whether I could make it within the period. I was so worried that I couldn't help until I could make about half of it.

[HS]: In a situation where I don't have time, I think it was quite reckless to leave it to one person to produce, but as for the animation part, quite a good number of things have come up from the beginning of production, so I myself was looking at it with a lot of peace of mind. I think Nagano had it hard.

[4G]: "Guilty Gear -Strive-" has been postponed once and changed from April 9th to June 11th. Which was the best time to make the opening movie?

[HS]: It was released in April. Composite* after video production. It also takes time, so we completed the video storyboard* at the beginning of the year and had it produced from January to March.

*Composite: Finishing multiple materials and clips in to one video.

*Video Storyboard: A moving storyboard. Script to check the flow of the entire video.

[4G]: Finally, please give a message to readers and players.

[Mr. Sakamura] Nagano has prepared the material in quite a few small parts, so I'd be happy if you could watch it while considering each cut.

[Mr. Nagano] As I mentioned earlier, the video has a different impression before and after watching the story mode, so I definitely want you to watch it again after playing. Actually, Ishiwatari's part also contains spoiler elements that are secret and difficult to understand, so please look for small spoilers after playing.

[The Reason for the Production of "GUILTY GEAR" was an encounter with "SFII".]

*Please note the following includes some spoilers in Story Mode.*

[4G]: Next is the part about Story Mode. From here, I would thank Mr. Ishiwatari and Mr. Sakamura. When I played all the way, I felt that there was a lot of volume. When did the development start?

Daisuke Ishiwatari [DI]: The first plot was published more than two years ago, so production started long ago. At that time, the content focused on more playable characters, but if it was left as it was, the content would be too bloated and the production would not be on time, so we decided to focus on the production.

[4G]: Were the playable characters decided when the first plot was released?

[DI]: It was almost solid, but some characters were fluid. The characters that were unofficially decided at that time may have been changed.

[4G]: Which production took longer, Story Mode or Fighting Game part?

[DI]: It takes time for each, but the fighting game part takes much more time. The story mode may be created by diverting the resources created for the fighting game.

Hidehiko Sakamura [HS]: I'm working on the back of the fighting game part little by little, but it's the end of the whole production that comes out. It feels like I'm working on a schedule at the very end.

[4G]: Is Mr. Ishiwatari in charge of the story part and the overall composition?

[DI]: Yes. First of all, I will put out a plot and check the volume and what material is needed by the staff. Not surprisingly, the plot stage is much larger than the retail version.

[HS]: As it is not the amount that can be produced as it is, it is the first job of the staff to ask Mr. Ishiwatari to cut it.

[4G]: Please tell us the story of the story part. What is the theme of the entire GUILTY GEAR Series?

[DI]: The Theme of "What is a Human being?" has remained unchanged since the time of the first GUILTY GEAR. From the GUILTY GEAR XRD Series, we are developing a story centered on Sol, but I was allowed to tell the outlook on life through the human eyes of Sol.

[4G]: The story of Sol is developed from GUILTY GEAR XRD, but in the GUILTY GEAR XX Series for Home use, a Story Mode was prepared for each character.

[DI]: Is it okay to say this? Actually, I haven't touched the GUILTY GEAR XX Series for home use at all. The company told me that they wanted to create a story mode when porting it to home use, but it was physically impossible to put the same story as what I had in mind, so I told them to stop.

[4G]: I didn't know that.

[DI]: However, the company asked me if I would like to have a port for home use... Then I told them that the story mode is good, but I'm not involved, so don't give a name.

[4G]: Then, was the story mode at that time lending only the (world) settings and letting them do the rest freely?

[DI]: No, I wasn't exposed to it at all. However, I dug it up (as reference) when developing the story from "GUILTY GEAR XRD". It's something that users play, and I thought it was dishonest to ignore the image and world view that got me here to continue as a continuation.

[4G]: The GUILTY GEAR XX Series was also a long-lived work, but wasn't there any talk about developing the story from Mr. Ishiwatari's thoughts at that time?

[DI] At that time, the main flow was to first develop an arcade version and then port it to home use, but behind the scenes of making home use, the development of the next arcade game is progressing. Was always the case. I didn't have enough time to develop the story.

[4G]: In this interview, I watch the story from "GUILTY GEAR XRD SIGN" to "GUILTY GEAR STRIVE" but I felt that the settings were well-crafted. When did the overall configuration and settings settle?

[DI]: The overall big flow hasn't changed since I first thought about it. However, the details are fluid, for example, it was decided that a character in the position of Ramlethal would appear, but it is different from saying that it was the current Ramlethal from the beginning.

[4G]: The whole "flow" was decided, and the rest was fleshed out.

[DI]: It was a little "too" fleshed out. Since the first generation, I had decided to make a trilogy, and at that time, Aliens were scheduled to appear at the End (laughs). As expected, it was outrageous, and the position of the "alien" changed to a character in the Backyard.

[4G]: That's an interesting change. In that case, wasn't there a Backyard Setting at that time?

[DI]: No, there was a Backyard setting itself. For the theorizing of Magic (as a concept). I needed to put out a character with a non-human perspective, and that was an "alien" at first.

[4G]: Are there any other major changes?

[DI]: Of course there are many things, but I can't talk about them. At least at the time of this work, the role and casting of each character has changed considerably. I have another (separate) character "do" what I tried to do with one character.

[4G]: For example, I think Axl is a very important character in the story, but was the role of Axl decided since the first generation?

[DI]: Axl Low hasn't changed since the very beginning. Also, in the early days, it was not decided that I-No would appear, but I was thinking of releasing a character with the same framework as Axl Low.

[4G]: Then when I-No first appeared in GUILTY GEAR XX, the settings had already been set.

[DI]: That's right.

[4G]: When I followed the story, I often found unexpected facts, and I wondered how far Mr. Ishiwatari was thinking from the beginning.

[DI]: There are quite a lot of retroactive settings, though. Especially the settings of the small parts have changed considerably. Jack-O' for example, wasn't initially supposed to be a "character."

[4G]: Jack-O'Valentine appeared in "GUILTY GEAR XRD REVELATOR" but when was the setting completed?

[DI]: I don't remember the detailed timing, but I think that the Backyard setting was fixed around when GUILTY GEAR 2 OVERTURE was produced.

[HS]: When I first saw Jack-O's design, I never thought it would be a heroine position character (laughs).

[4G]: In the first place, when did Mr. Ishiwatari think about setting up a game called GUILTY GEAR?

[DI] It was when I was still a professional student that I came up with the specific settings. I decided to make a fighting game because of my encounter with "Street Fighter II", but I think that about half the settings I thought about at that time were incorporated in to the original GUILTY GEAR.

[4G]: The opportunity was your encounter with "SFII".

[DI]: "Street Fighter II" was a revolutionary game for me. Speaking of which, "Ishiwatari Version Strike II" ("Ishiwatari-ban Suto II" the provisional name) is "GUILTY GEAR". At the time, I liked fantasy manga comics such as "BASTARD!!", and under the influence of them, I incorporated a story-like world view into the fighting game.

[Being able to Draw a Story becomes One Property]

4Gamer [4G]: In this work, the production side has been changed considerably compared to the story mode of the GUILTY GEAR XRD Series. What are the points you would like us to pay particular attention to?

Daisuke Ishiwatari [DI] First of all, in the case of GUILTY GEAR XRD, the big concept was to create a 3D image that looks like a 2D animation. This time it changed to make a movie-like image.

Mr. Sakamura [HS]: This is very difficult, so what makes a movie? What is the movie-likeness that Ishiwatari is looking for? At the beginning of the production, everything was groping.

[DI]: I didn't show the staff what it was like to be a movie. Therefore, at first I thought that I was quite stray, but one day I suddenly found the answer, and Sakamura awakened. From there, it was finished in a movie-like image all at once.

[4G]: Were any of the staff involved in filmmaking in the past?

[HS]: It wasn't there at all. In the first place, even with GUILTY GEAR XRD, I made something that looks like a 2D animation with 3D images, but no one was from the animation industry. We always imitate the appearance and continue to produce with a spirt of familiarity rather than learning.

[4G]: Just listening to the story tells you how difficult it is. By the way, why did you decide to pursue a movie-like character this time?

[DI]: I thought that if we evolved from GUILTY GEAR XRD, it would be similar to "DRAGON BALL FIGHTERZ" and "GRANBLUE FANTASY VERSUS". That may not give you a new surprise. Then it would be a movie.

[4G]: A Trailer that introduced a part of the story was released before the release, but at that time I heard a voice that it was like a movie.

youtube

[DI]: If you have been involved in production for a long time, you may not be able to judge for yourself whether you have something you want delivered to users, but I was relieved to hear such a voice. Also, I don't usually think so much, but this time when I completed and reviewed everything, I thought "I did my best", so I felt a response.

[4G]: Please tells us if you had any difficulties during production or small stories.

[DI]: I don't have a hard time talking (laughs).

[HS]: I think the hardest part was having to create a fighting game part and a story mode at the same time. Normally, I was able to focus on the fighting game part for arcade version first. Also, this time it was a culmination, so the latter half o the story was difficult with only action scenes.

[DI]: Certainly in GUILTY GEAR XRD (Sign), the focus was on conversational plays (talking heads dialogue), and at the end there was little action.

[4G]: This time it's set in the United States. Is there any reason for this?

[DI]: There is no deep reason, but first of all, Sol's birthplace is the United States. And sometimes I didn't want the stage to be the same every time. Also, it was decided at the time of the After Story of GUILTY GEAR XRD REV2 that the stage would be in the United States.

[4G]: It used to be a Western-style or Fantasy-Style world view, but I was surprised to see that it was suddenly become a modern American painting.

[DI]: At the beginning, there was an impressive scene in which the streets of the United States were drawn, but in reality, that scene was planned to draw a wider range. However, it was reduced because it was too heavy.

[4G]: Please tell us if you have any favorite scenes or productions.

[DI]: At the end, there is a scene where everyone fights with I-No. It's not a scene where I can cry, but when I first saw it, tears came out on their own. That's the one that left the most impression on me. I never felt like this when I'd been making games, but I've been trying my best to support everyone.

[HS]: I also have a great feeling for the last battle. In other scenes, there is a scene where Sol and Jack-O' run on a motorcycle at the beginning, but I think that Jack-O's cuteness at that time is considerable (laugh). It's also cute to sit in the sidecar.

[DI]: The only thing that left an impression on me was the action scene. I didn't know what kind of image it will be until it actually comes up, but I was surprised that the images that came up were beyond my imagination.

[HS]: We don't prepare storyboards* for production. I make it only with a script.

*Storyboards: A script for shooting movies and TV, instructions such as dialogue and actions are written for each cut.

[4G]: Conte has not been prepared since GUILTY GEAR XRD.

[HS]: In GUILTY GEAR XRD, we prepared only some cutscenes. I didn't prepare it at all after it became this work.

[DI]: We only get together and have meetings about important scenes.

[4G]: Do you have any favorite parts in terms of production?

[DI]: The goal was to make the conversation drama look like a movie as a whole. It feels like the conversation continues with a series of short words, rather than an explanation tone. I think I was able to create that kind of atmosphere overall in this work.

[4G]: This is the end of Sol's story. What kind of character is Sol for the production team?

[DI]: First of all, he's simply the main character. From the time I started making GUILTY GEAR, I decided to draw a humanity and outlook on life that can only be talked about by a free-spirited person named Sol. I feel that I am thankful for the time being because his thoughts have come to fruition in this work. Being able to face myself through the story was a very valuable experience.

[HS]: Sols' first image was a character that didn't reveal his emotions, but in the stories after GUILTY GEAR XRD, I think that humanity has come out very much, and I'm attached to it. He's a cute guy (laughs).

[4G]: Certainly, I feel that Sol's personality has changed considerably from the past.

[DI] It's not like a human being that the personality remains the same as the story and the times progress. As he interacts with various people, Sol also regains his humanity. I needed a background to answer the question, "What is a human being?"

[4G]: The story of GUILTY GEAR that started in 1998 has been completed. Finally, please tell us your current feelings.

[DI]: Anyway, I feel relieved for 20 years because I was able to draw the story to the end. Being able to finish what I started was very valuable to me and became a great asset. However, this time I focused too much on Sol. The challenge remained that we couldn't express what more users would have wanted to see.

[4G]: What are your thoughts on Future developments?

[DI]: Of course, I'm thinking about various things, but since I'm a good age, I may not be able to do it at the top of a project of the same scale in the future. Please look forward to the new style fo GUILTY GEAR and new IP.

4Gamer: Thank you for your time today.

#GG Interviews #ARC System Works #Daisuke Ishiwatari #Hiroshi Nagano #Hidehiko Sakamura #4Gamer

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silent-era-of-cinema · 3 years

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Hans Walter Conrad Veidt (22 January 1893 – 3 April 1943) was a German actor best remembered for his roles in the films Different from the Others (1919), The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920), and The Man Who Laughs (1928). After a successful career in German silent films, where he was one of the best-paid stars of UFA, he and his new Jewish wife Ilona Prager were forced to leave Germany in 1933 after the Nazis came to power. The couple settled in Britain, where he took British citizenship in 1939. He appeared in many British films, including The Thief of Bagdad (1940), before emigrating to the United States around 1941, which led to his being cast as Major Strasser in Casablanca (1942).

Hans Walter Conrad Veidt was born in his parents' home at Tieckstraße 39 in Berlin to Amalie Marie (née Gohtz) and Philipp Heinrich Veidt, a former military man turned civil servant. Veidt would later recall, “Like many fathers, he was affectionately autocratic in his home life, strict, idealistic. He was almost fanatically conservative.” By contrast, Amalie was sensitive and nurturing. Veidt was nicknamed 'Connie' by his family and friends. His family was Lutheran, and Veidt was confirmed in a ceremony at the Protestant Evangelical Church in Alt-Sch��neberg, Berlin on 5 March 1908. Veidt's only sibling, an older brother named Karl, died in 1900 of scarlet fever at the age of 9. The family spent their summers in Potsdam.

Two years after Karl's death, Veidt's father fell ill and required heart surgery. Knowing that the family could not afford to pay the lofty fee that accompanied the surgery, the doctor charged only what the family could comfortably pay. Impressed by the surgeon's skill and kindness, Veidt vowed to "model my life on the man that saved my father's life" and he wished to become a surgeon. His hopes for a medical career were thwarted, though, when in 1912 he graduated without a diploma and ranked 13th out of 13 pupils and became discouraged over the amount of study necessary for him to qualify for medical school.

A new career path for Veidt opened up in 1911 during a school Christmas play in which he delivered a long prologue before the curtain rose. The play was badly received, and the audience was heard to mutter, "Too bad the others didn't do as well as Veidt." Veidt began to study all of the actors he could and wanted to pursue a career in acting, much to the disappointment of his father, who called actors 'gypsys' and 'outcasts'.

With the money he raised from odd jobs and the allowance his mother gave him, Veidt began attending Berlin's many theaters. He loitered outside of the Deutsches Theater after every performance, waiting for the actors and hoping to be mistaken for one. In the late summer of 1912 he met a theater porter who introduced him to actor Albert Blumenreich, who agreed to give Veidt acting lessons for six marks. He took ten lessons from him before auditioning for Max Reinhardt, reciting Goethe's Faust. During Veidt's audition, Reinhardt looked out of the window the entire time. He offered Veidt a contract as an extra for one season's work, from September 1913 to August 1914 with a pay of 50 marks a month. During this time, he played bit parts as spear carriers and soldiers. His mother attended almost every performance. His contract with the Deutsches Theater was renewed for a second season, but by this time World War I had begun, and on 28 December 1914, Veidt enlisted in the army.

In 1915, he was sent to the Eastern Front as a non-commissioned officer and took part in the Battle of Warsaw. He contracted jaundice and pneumonia, and had to be evacuated to a hospital on the Baltic Sea. While recuperating, he received a letter from his girlfriend Lucie Mannheim, telling him that she had found work at the Front Theatre in Libau. Intrigued, Veidt applied for the theatre as well. As his condition had not improved, the army allowed him to join the theatre so that he could entertain the troops. While performing at the theatre, his relationship with Mannheim ended. In late 1916, he was re-examined by the Army and deemed unfit for service; he was given a full discharge on 10 January 1917. Veidt returned to Berlin where he was readmitted to the Deutsches Theater. There, he played a small part as a priest that got him his first rave review, the reviewer hoping that "God would keep Veidt from the films." or "God save him from the cinema!"

From 1917 until his death, Veidt appeared in more than 100 films. One of his earliest performances was as the murderous somnambulist Cesare in director Robert Wiene's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920), a classic of German Expressionist cinema, with Werner Krauss and Lil Dagover. His starring role in The Man Who Laughs (1928), as a disfigured circus performer whose face is cut into a permanent grin, provided the (visual) inspiration for the Batman villain the Joker. Veidt starred in other silent horror films such as The Hands of Orlac (1924), also directed by Robert Wiene, The Student of Prague (1926) and Waxworks (1924), in which he played Ivan the Terrible. Veidt also appeared in Magnus Hirschfeld's film Anders als die Andern (Different from the Others, 1919), one of the earliest films to sympathetically portray homosexuality, although the characters in it do not end up happily. He had a leading role in Germany's first talking picture, Das Land ohne Frauen (Land Without Women, 1929).

He moved to Hollywood in the late 1920s and made a few films there, but the advent of talking pictures and his difficulty with speaking English led him to return to Germany. During this period, he lent his expertise to tutoring aspiring performers, one of whom was the later American character actress Lisa Golm.

Veidt fervently opposed the Nazi regime and later donated a major portion of his personal fortune to Britain to assist in the war effort. Soon after the Nazi Party took power in Germany, by March 1933, Joseph Goebbels was purging the film industry of anti-Nazi sympathizers and Jews, and so in April 1933, a week after Veidt's marriage to Ilona Prager, a Jewish woman, the couple emigrated to Britain before any action could be taken against either of them.

Goebbels had imposed a "racial questionnaire" in which everyone employed in the German film industry had to declare their "race" to continue to work. When Veidt was filling in the questionnaire, he answered the question about what his Rasse (race) was by writing that he was a Jude (Jew). Veidt was not Jewish, but his wife was Jewish, and Veidt would not renounce the woman he loved. Additionally, Veidt, who was opposed to antisemitism, wanted to show solidarity with the German Jewish community, who were in the process of being stripped of their rights as German citizens in the spring of 1933. As one of Germany's most prominent actors, Veidt had been informed that if he were prepared to divorce his wife and declare his support for the new regime, he could continue to act in Germany. Several other leading actors who had been opposed to the Nazis before 1933 switched allegiances. In answering the questionnaire by stating he was a Jew, Veidt rendered himself unemployable in Germany, but stated this sacrifice was worth it as there was nothing in the world that would compel him to break with his wife. Upon hearing about what Veidt had done, Goebbels remarked that he would never act in Germany again.

After arriving in Britain, Veidt perfected his English and starred in the title roles of the original anti-Nazi versions of The Wandering Jew (1933) and Jew Süss (1934), the latter film was directed by the exiled German-born director Lothar Mendes and produced by Michael Balcon for Gaumont-British. He naturalised as a British subject on 25 February 1939. By this point multi-lingual, Veidt made films both in French with expatriate French directors and in English, including three of his best-known roles for British director Michael Powell in The Spy in Black (1939), Contraband (1940) and The Thief of Bagdad (1940).

By 1941, he and Ilona had settled in Hollywood to assist in the British effort in making American films that might persuade the then-neutral and still isolationist US to join the war against the Nazis, who at that time controlled all of continental Europe and were bombing the United Kingdom. Before leaving the United Kingdom, Veidt gave his life savings to the British government to help finance the war effort. Realizing that Hollywood would most likely typecast him in Nazi roles, he had his contract mandate that they must always be villains.

He starred in a few films, such as George Cukor's A Woman's Face (1941) where he received billing under Joan Crawford's and Nazi Agent (1942), in which he had a dual role as both an aristocratic German Nazi spy and the man's twin brother, an anti-Nazi American. His best-known Hollywood role was as the sinister Major Heinrich Strasser in Casablanca (1942), a film which began pre-production before the United States entered World War II. Commenting about this well-received role, Veidt noted that it was an ironical twist of that that he was praised "for portraying the kind of character who had forced him to leave his homeland".

Veidt enjoyed sports, gardening, swimming, golfing, classical music, and reading fiction and nonfiction (including occultism; Veidt once considered himself a powerful medium). He was afraid of heights and flying, and disliked interviews and wearing ties.

In a September 1941 interview with Silver Screen, Veidt said,

I see a man who was once for years studying occult things. The science of occult things. I had the feeling there must be – something else. There are things in our world we cannot trace. I wanted to trace them. The power we have to think, to move, to speak, to feel – is it electricity, I wanted to know? Is it magnetism? Is it the heart? Is it the blood? When the body dies, where is all that? Where is the power that made the body live? No one can tell me it is not somewhere. If you believe in waves, which you must believe after you have the radio, why couldn't human beings contact the wave lengths of someone who is dead? ... this is the kind of thing with which I was, for many years, preoccupied. This is what I tried to find, the answer. I did not find it. But in looking for it there was etched, perhaps, on my face, some hint of the strange cabals I kept with unseen and unknown powers. I did not find it, I say. But I found something else. Something better. I found –faith. I found the ability, very peaceful, to accept that which I could neither see, nor hear nor touch. I am a religious man. My belief is that if we could help to make all people a little more religious, we would do a great lot. If we would pray more ... we forget to pray except when we are in a mess. That is too bad. I believe in prayer. Because when we pray, we always pray for something good.

He went on:

I must tell you something that will disappoint you ... far from being one engaged in strangle rituals of thought or action, what I like best to do is sit in this small garden, on this terrace, and – just sit. Sometimes, I confess, I think a lot; about my past. About my parents who are dead. I like to dream, to go away ... At other times, I sit and read. I read, often, a whole day through. I play golf. I used to be a golf fiend. Now I am not a fiend even on the links. Now I play because it is relaxation. I like the beach very much, the sea. I go to the films often, to the neighborhood theater, my wife and I. Sometimes we go to the Palladium, where there is dancing. It is an amazing sight to me to see young people, how they are like they were thirty years ago, how they hold hands, how they enjoy their lives. To me, the most beautiful thing in California is the Hollywood Bowl, the Concerts Under the Stars. For me, it is a terrific experience. I have never seen an audience in my life like that. 30,000 people, simple people, most of them, listening to music under the stars. I have never seen 30,000 people, simple people, so quiet. I like to think of them as a symbol that one day there may be that oneness for all mankind....

On 18 June 1918, Veidt married Gussy Holl, a cabaret entertainer. They had first met at a party in March 1918, and Conrad described her to friends as "very lovely, tall, dignified and somewhat aloof". They separated in 1919 but attempted to reconcile multiple times. Holl and Veidt divorced in 1922.

Veidt said of Holl, "She was as perfect as any wife could be. But I had not learnt how to be a proper husband." and, "I was elated by my success in my work, but shattered over my mother's death, and miserable about the way my marriage seemed to be foundering. And one day when my wife was away, I walked out of the house, and out of her life, trying to escape from something I could put no name to."

After his separation and eventual divorce from Holl, Veidt allegedly dated his co-star Anita Berber.

Veidt's second wife Felizitas Radke was from an aristocratic Austrian family. They met at a party in December 1922 or at a Charleston dance competition in 1923. Radke divorced her husband for him, and they married in April 1923. Their daughter, Vera Viola Maria, nicknamed "Kiki", was born on 10 August 1925. He was not present at her birth due to being in Italy working on The Fiddler of Florence, but upon hearing of her birth, he took the first train to Berlin and flailed and wept as he first met mother and child at the hospital; he was so hysterical from joy they had to sedate him and keep him in the hospital overnight.

Emil Jannings was Viola's godfather and Elisabeth Bergner was her godmother. She was named after one of Bergner's signature characters, Shakespeare's Viola. The birth of his daughter helped Veidt move on from the death of his dearly loved mother, who had died of a heart condition in January 1922.

From September 1926 to 1929 Veidt lived with his wife and daughter in a Spanish-style house in Beverly Hills.

Veidt enjoyed relaxing and playing with his daughter in their home, and enjoyed the company of the immigrant community, including F. W. Murnau, Carl Laemmle, and Greta Garbo, as well as the American Gary Cooper. The family returned to Germany in 1929, and moved several times afterwards, including a temporary relocation to Vienna, Austria, while Veidt participated in a theatrical tour of the continent.

Radke and Veidt divorced in 1932, with Radke citing that the frequent relocations and the separations necessitated by Veidt's acting schedule frayed their marriage. Radke at first granted custody of their daughter to Veidt, but after further consideration he decided that their daughter needed the full-time parent that his work would not allow him to be. Conrad received generous visitation rights, and Viola called her summer vacations with her father "The Happy Times". She stayed with him three or four months of the year until the outbreak of World War II.

He last married Ilona "Lilli" Barta Prager (or Preger), a Hungarian Jew, in Berlin on 30 March 1933; they remained together until his death. The two had met at a club in Berlin. Veidt said of Lilli in an October 1934 interview with The Sunday Dispatch,

Lilli was the woman I had been seeking all my life. For her I was the man. In Lilli I found the miracle of a woman who had all to give that I sought, the perfect crystallisation in one lovely human being, of all my years of searching. Lilli had the mother complex too. But in the reverse ratio to mine. In her, the mother instinct was so powerful that she poured it out, indiscriminately almost, on everyone she knew. She mothers her own mother. Meeting Lilli was like coming home to an enchanted place one had always dreamed of, but never thought to reach. For her it was the same. Our marriage is not only flawless, it is a complete and logical union, as inevitable as daybreak after night, as harmonious and right as the words that exactly fit the music. My search is finished. The picture in my mind of my mother is of a woman great and holy. But it is a picture clear and. distinct, a deep and humble memory of a woman no one could replace; but now it is not blurred by the complex which before had harassed my mind.

Veidt and Lilli arrived from London at Los Angeles on 13 June 1940 and resided in Beverly Hills, where they lived at 617 North Camden Drive.

Even after leaving England, Veidt was concerned over the plight of children cooped up in London air raid shelters, and he decided to try to cheer up their holiday. Through his attorneys in London, Veidt donated enough money to purchase 2,000 one-pound tins of candy, 2,000 large packets of chocolate, and 1,000 wrapped envelopes containing presents of British currency. The gifts went to children of needy families in various air raid shelters in the London area during Christmas 1940. The air raid shelter marshal wrote back to Veidt thanking him for the gifts. Noting Veidt's unusual kindness, he stated in his letter to him, "It is significant to note that, as far as is known to me, you are the only member of the Theatrical Profession who had the thought to send Christmas presents to the London children."

Veidt smuggled his parents-in-law from Austria to neutral Switzerland, and in 1935 he managed to get the Nazi government to let his ex-wife Radke and their daughter move to Switzerland. He also offered to help Felizita's mother, Frau Radke, of whom he was fond, leave Germany. However, she declined. A proud, strong-willed woman who was attached to her home country, she declared that "no damned little Austrian Nazi corporal" was going to make her leave her home. She reportedly survived the war, but none of the Veidts ever saw her again.

Veidt was bisexual and a feminist. In a 1941 interview he said,

There are two different kinds of men. There are the men men, what do you call them, the man's man, who likes men around, who prefers to talk with men, who says the female can never be impersonal, who takes the female lightly, as playthings. I do not see a man like that in my mirror. Perhaps, it is because I think the female and the male attract better than two men, that I prefer to talk with females. I do. I find it quite as stimulating and distinctly more comfortable. I have a theory about this – it all goes back to the mother complex. In every woman, the man who looks may find – his mother. The primary source of all his comfort. I think also that females have become too important just to play with. When men say the female cannot discuss impersonally, that is no longer so. When it is said that females cannot be geniuses, that is no longer so, either. The female is different from the male. Because she was born to be a mother. There is no doubt about that. But that does not mean that, in some cases, she is not also born a genius. Not all males are geniuses either. And among females today there are some very fine actresses, very fine; fine doctors, lawyers, even scientists and industrialists. I see no fault in any female when she wears slacks, smokes (unless it is on the street, one thing, the only thing, which I don't like), when she drives a car ... when men say things like "I bet it is a woman driving" if something is wrong with the car ahead – no, no. These are old, worn out prejudices, they do not belong in today.

In the 1930s, Veidt discovered that he had the same heart condition that his mother had died from. The condition was further aggravated by chain smoking, and Veidt took nitroglycerin tablets.

Veidt died of a massive heart attack on 3 April 1943 while playing golf at the Riviera Country Club in Los Angeles with singer Arthur Fields and his personal physician, Dr. Bergman, who pronounced him dead at the scene. He had suddenly gasped and fallen over after getting to the eighth hole. He was 50 years old. His ex-wife Felizitas and his daughter Viola found out about his death via a radio broadcast in Switzerland.

In 1998, his ashes, along with his wife Lilli's, were placed in a niche of the columbarium at the Golders Green Crematorium in north London.

#conrad veidt #silent era #silent hollywood #silent movie stars #classic hollywood #classic movie stars #golden age of hollywood #1910s movies #1920s hollywood #1930s hollywood #1940s hollywood

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alri-xo · 4 years

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Japan's Our Witness (BuckyxReader)

A/N: I know it's still quarantine for a lot of us... But how about travelling with Bucky?? This idea has been in my head for a while and I did my research. I hope you enjoy it though... This will be a travel au once again, like the corona virus never existed, the setting will be around mid-March up to the first week of April, long hair Bucky and just... Bucket List Realness 🌸 (I deleted this initially thinking it wasn't good enough. Thanks babe @witchymegg for thinking it's good as is ily 😭💓)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier) x Reader

Warnings: If you are Japanese or you are into Japanese culture, I may get things wrong here. Soft core making out sesh, kinda graphic (not really), swearing... uhm... Dumb joke about noodles... This being longer than usual and it has no page break because I AM ON THE APP.

Normal POV

"Japan is a place full of rich culture. A melting pot of ancient and modern, it doesn't fail to disappoint..." the video narrated as Bucky watched a travel vlog, holding the phone in his hands.

He watched the video as images of cherry blossom trees, temples and sushi restaurants graced the screen. His mind raced with the beauty of it all. The thoughts being all too familiar to him as he remembered your ramblings of wanting to travel the world.

Sure, you travelled a lot. However, that was for missions, not for vacations. Bucky recalled that one time you went to the grand canyon, but that's just about it. Plus, every other Avenger was there. Clearly, it wasn't alone time (or so the legend goes).

Nearly halfway through the video, you entered the common room and sat beside Bucky, making him jump a little, "Hey, Buck... Whatcha waaatchin'?"

"Things... uhm..." he says thinking about the 21st century term for the video is...

"Travel Vlog?" you answered your own question with the correct term as Bucky's eyes widened in agreement and nodded.

You watched beside him as it didn't take long for you to figure out what's it about. Your eyes widened as it featured the century old Todaiji Temple and the Snow Monkeys.

"You're watching a vlog about Japan?? Oh my God-" your rambling came to a halt as you bit your finger trying to contain your excitement, "God, I always wanted to go there..."

Bucky smiled, his eyes crinkled as he saw how you were so giddy about it. He loves seeing you this way. His doll being all excited to travel, and it's not about a mission this time. Not that you were excited for missions but like, travelling in general.

"What's stopping you, doll?" He asks, his Brooklyn accent lacing every word he said making you blush.

"Well, y'know... Earth's Mightiest Heroes..." you said kind of sarcastically as his lips formed a small O shape in agreement. His eyes fluttered slightly as there was a small pause in the air for a quick sec, "We only travel for missions, Bucky..."

"Who said two of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes can't go on an actual 2-week vacation?"

🌸

"Good afternoon, passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 87B to Tokyo. We are now inviting those passengers with children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you." The radio said announcing your flight to Tokyo as Bucky munched on the plum tarts you made as snacks as you waited at the airport.

"Hm... Ten more minutes..." he mumbled taking another bite of the jammy tart you made for him. You smiled as you tucked a piece of hair behind his ear as a blush crept up to his stubbled cheeks. He looked fluffier as the layers of cloth on him, especially the hoodie you bought him made him look so huggable.

Thankfully they didn't stop you at the metal detectors because it went off because of Bucky. They let you in knowing that it's a prosthetic and he needs it. However, Bucky became embarassed as it went off so loudly that it made people's heads turn, and he's not one for attention.

So now, you're here, with your love. Waiting on your flight to Japan, munching on pastries as you stood up to face him with a hand on your hip.

"So you're gonna eat all that for ten minutes? I think we should get going, baby... We wouldn't want to miss Tokyo, would we?" You said as you held his metal hand, walking to the waiting area to ride the small bus to the plane. He blushed at the petname, making you smile and giggle.

He hummed in response and smiled at you, "In all honesty, I'd rather miss this flight than miss a day with you, doll..."

You blushed as you kissed his metal hand and rode the small bus, your two decent sized luggage bags behind you and very pregnant backpacks on your backs making you look like turtles in love.

You boarded the plane moments later, Bucky went in first since he had the window seat for a couple of good reasons. One, to look at the view and two, to be your human pillow during the flight. You looked at him as the flight attendants looked at him flirtatiously, he grinned back at the greeting as you saw them blush.

You huffed a little and carried on with boarding the plane. The greeted you as you half heartedly smiled back at them, feeling a little bit irritated trying to flirt with Bucky.

He sat down, smile lacing his face as he patted the seat next to him. Your heart melted in to a puddle as you loved seeing him smile. His beautiful blue eyes twinkling when he does. You placed the luggage on the shelves on then sat beside him.

You began to rub your hands together in excitement and nervousness as the flight attendant began to demonstrate how to put on your seatbelt and how to use the oxygen masks provided above your seats, following through with the instructions.

"How are you feeling, doll?" Bucky asks as he notices your mannerisms, knowing your feeling nervous, making him feel worried.

"I'm good, Bucky... I'm just feeling really excited... I mean come on... Japan???" You say feeling your heart beating faster, "With you??? That's even better!"

He smiles and plants a kiss on your forehead, placing your head on his shoulder as you kiss his cheek, "That's sweet, doll... But we need to rest now, I wouldn't want to deal with a cranky y/n now, would we?"

You pouted a little and shook your head, "No, sir..." Bucky smirked when you said 'sir' and he put his hand on your lap.

"That's my good little doll..." he cooed as you rested oh his shoulder, kissing it before you lay your head on it. You hummed in response as the plane took off...

🌸

You boarded off the plane then went down the escalator. Tony told the both of you that he hired a driver for you to drive you to the nearest hotel where you and Bucky will stay. You insisted that you can navigate Japan yourselves, but Tony wanted to give you and Bucky an easier time.

You saw a sign that says Robocop and Y/N. Bucky chuckled as you laughed at the sign, seeing that Tony's playfulness is worldwide.

"That man still has a few tricks up his sleeve no matter where we go..." Bucky smiled as you carried your bags once again, nearing the man with the cardboard sign...

"Welcome to Japan, Mr. Barnes, Ms. Y/L/N. My name is Hiroshi Hamada. I will be your driver for now..." he greets bowing, and shaking your hands, "Mr. Stark sent me for you..."

You thank him and you waited for him to park the car where you're going to ride to go to the hotel. You stopped over at a nearby convenience store and grabbed a few (a lot) snacks before heading back on the road to your hotel.

He drove you for 15 minutes to get to the beautiful hotel. You checked in and they lead you to the room. The room was spaceous, adorned with black, brown and neutral colors. You were in awe as you never thought that it would look as good in person but, boy you were so wrong.

Bucky was just as shocked as it looked so pretty. Dimly lit, smelt good, cozy and beautiful. He then looked at you inspecting every corner of the room. The beautiful and spacy bathroom, with a tub and other things, the closet and other lovely amenities.

"Isn't this amazing, Bucky?" You said as you slipped off your sweater, leaving you in your tanktop of leggings and plopping down on the soft bed. Bucky smiles and sits down beside you, lowering himself as he supports his head in his hand, his elbow raising him up a little bit.

"This IS amazing, doll..." he pauses a little as he places his metal hand on your cheek, drawing little circles, "But you're more amazing..."

"Bucky, you've been making me blush even before we got here..." you say giggling as he chuckles pulling you closer to him facing his form.

"Got a problem with that, y/n?" He says raising a brow looking down at you as you mumbled a 'no.'

You yawned and you looked at the clock. It's nearing 3 o'clock in the morning since the flight took about 14 hours. Bucky notices and he proceeded to go to the bathroom.

You got up and sat up on the bed, your eyes fluttering closed every now and then, "Where are you goiiiing?" You whine as you heard water filling up the tub.

"I don't want my best girl to wake up all sticky and sweaty..." he says peeping his body from the bathroom with a chuckle, his smile making the crinkles around his eyes appear, his toned chest and abs on full display. You rolled your eyes at his response but it gave your stomach butterflies. In addition, he's shirtless. You can't wear blush every time he's around. He's got you covered since day one.

"And why is that, Sargeant Barnes?" You asked slyly, standing up walking up to him, hands behind your back.

He grabbed your wrist from behind your back and pulled you closer to him, he leaned down to your ear, "I'm the only one who's allowed to make you sticky and sweaty, doll..."

His words sent shivers down your spine and you blushed furiously. He pulled you in the bathroom, the scent of peaches and cherry blossoms filling your nose.

He kissed you softly and tenderly, until his lips barely touched yours. He was behind you so he kissed the top of your head down to behind your ear as he helped you strip off your tank top. He worked his way down your jaw and neck, feeling the cool metal of his bionic fingers unclasping your bra.

You moaned as he cupped your left breast with his left hand, kneeding it gently as he kissed down your shoulder. You reached down to his crotch, feeling his erection as you undid the button of his pants with your right hand as the left rested on top of his metal one as it carressed your flesh.

Needless to say, it was more than a warm bubble bath for the both of you...

🌸

You woke up nude, the scent of cherry blossoms in the room. The air condition whirring as Bucky's faint snoring filled your ears, his arms wrapped around you.

His face so angelic as you felt the air from his nostrils warm your face at certain spots. His stubble gracing his strong jaw and his pink lips emitting the sounds you grown accustomed to almost every morning.

You kissed his adam's apple and then his chin, "Wake up, my soldier..."

He groaned softly as he slowly opened his beautiful steel blue eyes, stretching himself out, "G'morning, ōjo..."

You raised a brow and slapped his chest a little, "What does that mean, babe?"

"It means 'princess' in Japanese, doll... aren't you my princess?" He says kissing your lips softly, you smiled as you kissed his eyes. You hummed in response as you kissed him again...

"Yeah, but we need to get going, Bucky... We still need to go to Harajuku and that's like an hour away..." you say as you sit up, covering yourself with the blanket. Bucky faced the ceiling with a groan, rubbing his eyes.

"Harajuku can wait, doll... We have all day..." He says facing you. You groaned in defeat as you plopped down next to him, cuddling him like a koala bear.

"But it's the Cherry Blossoms in Nakameguro, Bucky..." you whined. You always admired the place in pictures as it featured one of the most beautiful spots for Cherry Blossoms in Japan.

"That too can wait... We barely ate anything for breakfast, y/n... The plants can wait..." he says softly cupping your face, "We need to at least eat something..."

You just nodded and got up, "You're right, Buck... We should eat breakfast..."

You used the blanket to cover yourself, leaving Bucky naked on the bed making you laugh as he didn't do anything to cover himself up, "Your 'soldier' is getting cold..."

You pertained to his soft member. He smirked and chuckled playfully, "Care to warm him up, sweets?"

You blushed at what he said. You wanted to play with him and his little game... So you ignored him. You walked off to your backpack and took out your clothes for the day. You heard him get out of bed and walk on the floor.

He walked up behind you and carried you by your waist, you squirming to make you put him down but he just plopped you on the bed, you fully exposed for him.

"I want to hear you, doll... Care to warm me up or not..." he growled, you nodded as he held your wrists above your head, his member hardening against your thigh, he held your wrists tighter, "Use your words, sweetie..."

"Yes, Sir..."

🌸

You panted on top of him, skin to skin as the only thing covering you is the white blanket. The scent of sex filling the air as Bucky flipped you on the bed making him hover abover you.

You cupped his face and joined your foreheads, "Can we eat actual breakfast now?" You smiled coyly as he chuckled, "I want noodles..."

"Yeah... me too... But you know what's a noodle as well?"

🌸

You went back to your room after breakfast, feeling stuffed with the breakfast buffet. You waddled to the elevator as you felt so full, you couldn't move. Your shorts a little tighter than before as Bucky placed a hand on your lower back for support.

"I can't tell you're full, y/n," he chuckled as you rolled you eyes at him. He pulled you closer to his body as the elevator went up your floor. All you could do was groan in response making him laugh.

You got to your room and sat on the small table near the window. It provided just enough light for you to doll yourself up for your trip to Harajuku. You busted out your makeup bag as Bucky got out of the bathroom in only a towel.

You stood up and grabbed your towel and some of the skincare items you carried with you, Bucky looked at the amount of stuff you brought with you and he shook his head.

"You don't need all that, doll..." he whined as you giggled in response, "You're already beautiful without it..."

You blushed again, for the nth time. You placed the skincare on the bathroom counter as you said loudly through the door, "I need iiiiit..."

You heard Bucky scoff through the door as you turned on the shower, "Whatever, doll... I love you no matter what..."

"I'm showering, Bucky... Stop distracting me!!"

🌸

You arrived in Harajuku, it was full of life. You and Bucky were in awe as you hopped out the taxi. You thanked the driver and paid your fare as you kept up with the people crossing the street straight after.

You shopped, then crossed the street and the cycle repeats, and occasionally grabbing a couple of munchies. You did that for about three hours before the both of you realized you were exhausted. In addition, you were carrying your backpacks as well. Despite that, you and Bucky didn't fail to take lots of pictures, especially of you.

Bucky loves taking pictures of you, always asking you to smile for the camera where ever he wants to take a picture of a beautiful view, saying you make it look ten times better.

You also took a lot of stolen shots from Bucky. He's looks so angsty as he walks around the busy streets and side walks that he looks adorable. Even more adorable when you get a chance to take a stolen picture of him laughing, smiling or looking like a meme.

You stopped by a local Kimono shop as you were walking by the many shops of the district. Bucky saw the way you looked at the shop and nudged you, "Wanna go there, doll?"

You nodded as he held your hand, entering the establishment. Different colors and patterns gracing the building of garments. A red Yukata caught your eye as you were looking through the garments...

Bucky saw the red garment and smiled, "That's gonna look gorgeous on you, doll..." he whispered in your ear as he kissed your cheek.

A lady approached you and asked what you were looking for. You asked for the red Yukata as she proceeded to help you with your find.

You came out with more than the red garment as she suggested the other accesories that are meant to be with a traditional Yukata. You thanked her as she packed up your clothing and you paid, leaving with a smile on you and Bucky's faces.

Bucky shopped for his Haori set, as he wanted to match with you. Thankfully, there were shops that sold just what he wanted. Most of the garments looked so good on him, as he tried out different variations. He settled with the black Haori set and you headed off.

As you headed off to the Harajuku station, you stopped by the famous Cat Cafe nearby. Bucky's face lit up when he saw the place teeming with cats. You went in for a snack and furry cuddles as Bucky enjoyed himself wanting to pet every cat in the establishment, nearly not eating his food.

He took pictures of almost every cat in the cafe, comparing them to Alpine every once in a while. You pet the cats occasionally, being too busy taking videos of Bucky having fun.

🌸

You rode the train to Nakameguro, leaving your big backpacks at the train station for you to come back for it after your dusk to night stroll. The only things you were carrying at this point were your valuables and the shopping bags containing the red Yukata, Bucky' Haori and the accessories that go along with them.

You got dressed at a bathroom near the Nakameguro park, helping each other put your outfits together and sharing a couple of kisses on different parts of your body (wink wonk).

You exited the bathroom stalls together, hand in hand as the pink cherry blossoms graced your eyes. The place illuminated by dim red lanterns made it look like it's not real.

Bucky looked at you, eyes in awe reflecting the lights of the park in your (y/e/c) orbs. You looked like a girl who opened her eyes for the first time, admiring your surroundings.

He smiled as you walked down by the Meguro river under the dimly lit cherry blossom trees making you glow. His metal hand reflecting shades of pink and white as he held yours. You looked at him, his strong features highlighted by the lights of the location, his eyes sparkling as he looked ahead walking by the river.

He caught you staring at him, your puppy dog eyes making him melt and blush. He then held your waist and pulled you closer to him as you walked and whispered in your ear, "Like what you see, my doll?"

You blushed, a fluster of red adorning your cheeks and a warmth washing over you making Bucky smile. You covered your face with the fan you purchased back in Harajuku, making him giggle. He kissed your cheek, the fan covering your PDA and later, pecked a kiss on your lips.

Bystanders who were also taking an evening stroll looked at you as they heard your giggles, Bucky stiffened as you snorted a giggle behind your fan, "Guess it's not our own little world, doll..."

"It's okay, Buck... You're my own little world..." you said slyly into his ear making him chuckle as you gained on him throwing little pick up lines.

"Did you drink too much Sake, y/n?" He asks as you giggle. You shook your head in response as you looked at him under your lashes...

"I'm drunk in love, baby..." you said quietly into his ear giggling... He kissed your temple as you continued your stroll, the rustling of leaves and blossoms moving to the wind's touch filling your ears.

Cherry blossoms and their petals start to fall all over the area and all over you, your red outfit littered with with the beautiful flowers. Bucky had some scattered on his head making you laugh as he tried to blow them off.

The flowers sparked an idea in your head as you picked the flower on Bucky's hair as you placed it above his ear tucking it in snuggly.

Bucky smiled as you giggled, blushing you admire him. How he looked so adorable with the flower in his hair, "How do I look, y/n?"

"You look awesome, my love..." you say, making him blush as you kissed his cheek, "You always do..."

"Doll, you're gaining on me..." he says with a short laugh as he kissed your knuckle, making you blush in return... He pulled you closer to him, making you lean on his shoulder.

"I love you, Bucky..." you sighed as your walking slowed down, slowing him along with you...

"I love you more, my doll..." he says kissing you softly under the lights of Japan and its cherry blossoms.

Japan was the witness of you and Bucky's love. From that night on, let's just say it became the beginning of the best 2 week vacation ever.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this fic... It took me a while to make and it's probably the longest fic I ever wrote. I am a Tourism student so this is near my heart while I wrote it. I also hope I got things right heheh... I am sorry for not having a page break. Stay safe

-Alri

Taggies 💕

@witchymegg @amisutcliff @theaussiedragon @luna4501 @likeit-or-leaveit

46 notes · View notes

gravihtyk · 4 years

Text

What happened to my April 2020 Goals: My First Steps to Gaining Weight + My Goals for May 2020

For the month of April, I set three goals for myself:

1. To wake up in the morning each day.

My body clock has been pretty messed up since last year. I've always been a night owl, so when I was reviewing for SOA exam P, I got used to studying all through out the night and going to bed when the sun is almost up. I usually woke up at around 2 in the afternoon. I got enough of sleep and I got enough work done at night, but I missed pretty much most of the day and I felt like my days were going too fast. Last March, in the midst of quarantine and having no classes, I felt worse about my sleeping schedule. I thought waking up super late in the day made me unproductive and still left me feeling like I had no energy. I also felt like I was always running late especially when I had to meet a professor at school or needed to go to the bank. It also made me miss breakfast and lunch and even with that, I woke up not feeling hungry at all. I felt like I was losing weight again and I dreaded it. So I made myself wake up in the morning all through out April, still not early in the morning but at least before noontime, so I can do (and eat) more during the day.

2. To eat breakfast everyday.

As I've already mentioned, I kept skipping my breakfast because of my bad sleeping schedule before April. I know that breakfast literally means breaking your fast from sleeping, so any meal you eat after you wake up from a long sleep is your breakfast. But in March, I would wake up not feeling hungry at all so I didn't eat anything immediately and sometimes I didn't notice the time, it would already be dinnertime for my family and that's only when I would remember to eat. I was like doing intermitent fasting without even trying. I didn't get to eat 3 meals a day at all. I only ate twice and sometimes once a day, and it left me feeling so weak, all I wanted was to lay in bed all day. I often got headaches as well. So when April came, I told myself that I need to fix this problem if I wanted to gain weight. I have to eat after I wake up in the morning, fill my stomach with something and be energized for the day.

3. Eat 3 meals a day.

I realized that one reason why I did not feel hungry even when I missed meals was because I had no appetite. Even when I ate, even when the food used to be my favorite, even when it was so tasty, I could only eat a small amount. I told myself, this can't be. I have to eat a lot to gain weight. It had been like this for a long time now. I didn't get hungry after I woke up, I didn't get hungry when it was the usual time for a meal like during lunchtime. And I realized that it was because I wasn't always eating my meals on time and I kept missing meals. I did a lot of searches related to appetite on Google and Youtube and in every article or video that I read or watched, it was recommended to eat on a schedule so that your body gets used to it that when the time comes when you usually have a meal, you will feel hungry and you will have the appetite to eat. So I thought, I have to eat my breakfast, lunch and dinner on the usual times that most people eat them. But since I only made it a goal to wake up anytime before noon, I was content with setting around noon time as my breakfast time, anytime before evening as my lunch time and evening as my dinner time. I also only made myself eat 3 main meals even when it's usually recommended to eat more often throughout the day for weight gain (I eat some snacks too, I made myself a meal plan which I'll share to you soon!), because I thought that I might not be able to eat 4-5 meals a day since I was still used to eating twice a day, I might not be able to reach that goal. So I set a reasonable and achievable goal for myself.

The month had come to an end, it's actually already May 1st when I'm writing this, and I'm glad to say that I'd been pretty much consistent in working on my goals. I tracked my progress using the Habit app on my phone.

As you can see, I only really started getting consistent on April 12, because that was when I started my meal plan and I told myself that to be able to stick with my meal plan and eat everything in it, I had to wake up early to be able to eat my 3 meals, which were basically already my goals. I didn't do them every single day (some days I forgot to track them too 😅) but I'm already happy that I did them on MOST days. I also hadn't been waking as early as I wanted to. Although I didn't make it a goal to wake up early, I set my alarm clock at 9am every single day because to me that was an ideal time to wake up, but I just turn the alarm off and close my eyes again, promise to just get the dryness out of my eyes then I'll get up from my bed but I usually fall back to sleep. 😅 I'd get up right before noontime or when I wake up and it's past 11, I usually turn to my phone and check social media until it's way past noon and I'd only get up when I remember that I have a meal plan to stick to and goals to accomplish. It's been like that the past few days, but for the most days, I was successful in getting up before 10am.

There were days that I wasn't able to eat 3 meals, but note that what I consider my meals are the meals in my meal plan. So if I didn't eat the lunch that's in my meal plan because I got so full from the food that isn't in my meal plan that my mother gave me (like bananacue and boiled potatoes 🤤), then I skipped lunch even when there was an alternative. (Also, if you're Filipino, you know that any meal without rice is not considered a meal. 😂)

I was most successful in eating breakfast each day. There was just a day that I stayed too long in bed after waking up so I didn't consider that I ate my breakfast that day even when I did, a punishment for not getting up immediately. 😅

I'm honestly kind of still disappointed about myself for not doing all these every single day but as I've told myself before, this is enough. I have actually already made it a habit to wake up in the morning and eat my breakfast and I have an appetite and these are all that matters. My end goals are to wake up early and to eat my meals to gain weight, and I'm happy that I know I'm getting there already. I think what hugely contributed to my success is that I set achievable goals for myself. I didn't ask myself to wake up at 7am. I didn't ask myself to eat 6 meals a day. I didn't ask myself to gain these many pounds in a month. I made myself took baby steps instead of long strides that don't last that long because they're just very hard to do when you still have short limbs. I also looked for the root of my problems. I couldn't eat a lot so I couldn't gain weight, but that was because I didn't really have an appetite. I couldn't eat at least 3 meals a day, but that was because I wake up so late. So I worked on my appetite and getting up in the morning.

I've realized many things in the month of April and I'm definitely going to take those lessons with me through the month of May to be able to achieve my new goals.

For the month of May, I want to:

1. Wake up and get up from bed earlier, before 10am.

Having my lunch and dinner almost right after the other keeps my stomach very full and I feel uncomfortable. So I'd have to get up earlier so as to have more time in between my meals for my food to get digested properly.

2. Be more consistent in eating 3 meals a day.

I just hope I have all the foods and ingredients I need for my meal plan all the time. If that doesn't happen often, then I'd have to settle with alternatives, especially to my ulams, but I'll make sure I eat a full cup of rice every lunch and dinner.

3. Workout each day.

I know this might seem excessive but I want to try the 30-day ab workout challenge and see if it really works. Eating more food has me feeling bloated most of the time and I think doing ab workouts helps with that, so I'll try doing it everyday for 10-20 minutes. I'll also be dedicating alternate days for upper body and lower body workouts.

I hope to develop better habits this May and get nearer my goals. I also wish you success in your own journey, whatever that may be. Let's keep working hard and striving for the best for ourselves. 💕

#fitness #weight gain journey #fitblr #fitness inspiration #fitness motivation

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brightquang · 5 years

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https://medium.com/@brightquang_18949/exact-evidence-of-the-vietnam-war-6abf1d7ac380 What does the Supreme Court do American law of Vietnam War of the prisoner of war? NOTIFICATIONS BREAKING 3h ago Supreme Court allows Indiana abortion law requiring burial or cremation of fetal remains INTERESTS Customize your news by choosing the topics that interest you. We'll notify you here about the important stories. Mount Everest Add Interest Donald Trump Add Interest Abortion Rights Add Interest Supreme Court Add Interest Immigration Add Interest 2020 Elections Add Interest Turn on desktop notifications for breaking news? LOG IN Watch: Saluting the American heroes in Vietnam Vietnam War photographer on taking My Lai massacre photos: 'It was just unreal' By ANTHONY RIVAS May 28, 2019, 6:05 AM ET PHOTO: Helicopters that brought Company C soldiers to My Lai in March 1968.Ronald L. Haeberle/The LIFE Images Collection/Getty Images WATCH3/29/73: End of Vietnam War Email WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT. IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING FOR SOME VIEWERS. Vietnam -- a war and a country with which America has never come to terms. There were those who fought in it and some who died in it. There were those who fought against it and paid their own price. And there were those who were fortunate -- those with money, clout and deferments. Fifty years ago, as Richard Nixon assumed the presidency, these clashing forces came to a head. And Nixon, even as he desperately sought to extricate the United States, called on the "silent majority" to stand up in support of the war. All of this came as proof of another terrible price emerged: the atrocities of My Lai. Watch "Fortunate Sons" TONIGHT at 10 ET on ABC PHOTO: Vietnamese civilians killed by US Army soldiers during pursuit of Vietcong militia, as per order of Lieut. Wm. Calley Jr., March 16, 1968, in My Lai, South Vietnam. Ronald L. Haeberle/The LIFE Images Collection/Getty Images Vietnamese civilians killed by US Army soldiers during pursuit of Vietcong militia, as per order of Lieut. Wm. Calley Jr., March 16, 1968, in My Lai, South Vietnam. (MORE: Iconic war images shown for first time in Vietnam) The rampage now known as the My Lai massacre occurred March 16, 1968. U.S. troops stormed the Vietnam village, using automatic weapons and bayonets to slaughter as many as 500 people, including children and the elderly. Soldiers raped women and girls, and then killed them. On Nov. 12, 1969, it all came to light: The story broke through the Dispatch News Service and was picked up by dozens of newspapers. Nothing can explain away the atrocity. But to give it context, it's useful to remember that it was often unclear at the time which civilians could be trusted in Vietnam. The Viet Cong, the organization fighting with North Vietnam against South Vietnam and the U.S., was hiding in plain sight. "The villagers, in the daytime, it was just normal attire," Tiney Corbett, Jr., a Vietnam War veteran and Bronze Star recipient, told ABC News. "Some of these same folks ... might be your barber in the daytime and in the night, he might be the one that comes to try to kill you." PHOTO: An American soldier burns houses during the My Lai massacre, March 16, 1968, in My Lai, South Vietnam. Ronald L. Haeberle/The LIFE Images Collection/Getty Images An American soldier burns houses during the My Lai massacre, March 16, 1968, in My Lai, South Vietnam. This mentality was an underlying force behind the My Lai massacre. Kenneth Hodges, a U.S. Army squad leader who was at My Lai at the time, told ABC News that troops entered My Lai under the assumption that the people there were Viet Cong or sympathizers of the group. "The day before the assault on My Lai, the company commander got the whole unit together," Hodges said. "They said that we could expect heavy resistance going in. Heavy resistance meant that the enemy is there and they are ready for a fight. … Orders were to kill or destroy everything in the village." (MORE: Vietnam War veterans' kids say Agent Orange impact 'a nightmare') "On the way going up toward the village there was an old man, a boy, and one was a girl pleading, 'No [Viet Cong], no [Viet Cong],'" Ronald Haeberle, a former Army photographer on the My Lai mission, told ABC News. "All of a sudden, the GI next to me opens up and shoots them. I took a picture." "We came upon this group of people and the soldiers were harassing them, trying to get at this one girl in the back [to] take her blouse off," he continued. "We started to walk in the opposite direction. I heard firing -- two M16 automatic [rifles] shooting all these people. It was women, old men, children -- all noncombatants. Especially the babies. I mean, it was just unreal." PHOTO: Ronald L. Haeberle, 28, a former army photographer in Vietnam, claims that he witnessed the alleged massacre of Vietnamese Civilians in March 1968 by United States soldiers in a photo dated Nov. 22, 1969. AP Ronald L. Haeberle, 28, a former army photographer in Vietnam, claims that he witnessed the alleged massacre of Vietnamese Civilians in March 1968 by United States soldiers in a photo dated Nov. 22, 1969.more + Pham Thanh Cong, a survivor of My Lai, told ABC News that American troops killed everyone else in his immediate family. Another 170 people were slaughtered at a single location in the village. "They stood at this ditch and used machine guns to shoot the villagers dead and push them into the ditch," Haeberle said. Haeberle had two cameras with him that day. One was his personal camera with color film, which he took back to the U.S. with him instead of turning it over to the military. Those pictures were first published by The Plain Dealer, a Cleveland newspaper. The pictures made the story of the massacre inescapable. Opposition to the war had already begun to swell prior to news of the My Lai massacre. In July of 1969, David Harris, husband to folk singer Joan Baez, was arrested for resisting the draft. Harris founded the organization known as The Resistance, which encouraged men of draft age to refuse to cooperate with draft laws. "The fact was, this war was wrong. And I don't mean just wrong as a mistake in policy, which it was, but it was much more than that," Harris told ABC News. "It was wrong with a capital 'W.' It was the kind of wrong you send people to prison for war crimes about." "He decided," Clara Bingham, author of "Witness to the Revolution," told ABC News, "that the best way to oppose the war was not to desert -- to run away to Canada. He thought, 'Send me to jail.' Raise your hand and say, 'I won't go. Hell no, I won't go.'" PHOTO: Thousands of anti-Vietnam demonstrators march through Oakland Calif., Nov. 20, 1965. Bettmann Archive Thousands of anti-Vietnam demonstrators march through Oakland Calif., Nov. 20, 1965. Along with Harris' efforts, which had widespread impact as the courts filled with draft resisters, other groups had begun organizing anti-war efforts, including David Mixner, who helped found the Vietnam Moratorium Committee. "These marches were not about politics. [it was] about life and saving lives," Mixner told ABC News. (MORE: Vietnam veterans reconnect during visit to Hanoi Hilton prison: 'It's closure for us') On Oct.15, 1969, more than 2 million Americans participated in a nationwide "Moratorium" -- an anti-war effort "to show Americans that the anti-war movement [was] mainstream. It [incorporated] mothers, old people, working-class people and people from the middle of the country," according to Bingham. Church services, marches, teach-ins, sit-ins took place across the country, from large cities like Boston and New York to small towns in the Midwest. At the time of the Moratorium, former Secretary of State John Kerry had returned to the United States after serving in Vietnam as a swift boat skipper and earning a Silver Star, a Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts. Deeply questioning the American mission in Vietnam, Kerry said, "I wanted to find a way to try to end the war that I'd fought in because I thought we needed to and began that process." PHOTO: American soldier John Kerry, spokesman for the VVAW (Vietnam Veterans Against the War), speaks to the press at an outdoor event in Washington D.C., April 21, 1971. Warren K Leffler/PhotoQuest/Getty Images American soldier John Kerry, spokesman for the VVAW (Vietnam Veterans Against the War), speaks to the press at an outdoor event in Washington D.C., April 21, 1971. more + Still serving in the U.S. Navy, Kerry took a vacation day and volunteered to fly a speaker around events in New York state. "I saw this ... massive coalition of energy," Kerry told ABC News. "It had a big impression on me that I wasn't sort of alone sitting there, stewing in my feelings about the war. I mean, it was the birth of my activism, yeah." When Kerry left the Navy at the end of 1969, his participation in the anti-war movement only grew. In April 1971, Kerry marched on Washington with about 5,000 other veterans, and he went before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and asked the defining question of the time: "How do you ask a man to be the last man to die in Vietnam?" "When I criticized the war, some people obviously didn't like that," he said. "But a lot of us felt it was important to tell the truth about what was happening over there in order to try to save lives, and I think, ultimately, the efforts to end the war did save lives. I feel that very, very strongly." On Jan. 28, 1973, a day after the signing of the Paris Peace Accords by the governments of the U.S., South Vietnam and North Vietnam, a cease-fire went into effect. By the end of March, the last U.S. combat troops departed. The rancorous consequences of Vietnam continue to this day. And those who fought -- unfairly conflated with those who ordered the fighting -- suffer to this day. "Every American should remember that war, and every American should be taught about it," Harris said. "It's still there in the memory bank, but I think we as a country have not come to terms with it. We have not faced up to what we did. We have not made amends for it. We killed more than 2 million people for no good reason. You can't just walk away from that."

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