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#I had a crush on my gf for three years before our friends called us out on our bullshit
parrot-waxcap · 1 year
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Me the entirety of episode seven when Ellie just spends the whole time looking at Riley with gay longing in her eyes:
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lbulldesigns · 28 days
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UPDATE: AITAH For accusing my former best friend of trying to break up my relationship, and promptly ending our thirteen-year-long friendship?
Posted 19th of May, 2021
Thank you everyone for setting me straight, I accept the YTA verdict.
My Godfather always says to me "If one guy calls you a horse, then he's being a dick. If everyone's calling you a horse, then it's time to buy a saddle" well if everyone's calling me an AH then I need to swallow my pride and take it on the chin.
I'm the AH is more ways than one, and will spend a long, long, long time making up for this.
However, I don't have a happy update. I got up early this morning, with only three hours of sleep the night before, with the sole purpose of meeting up with Pow before school. I planned on stopping by our favourite diner and picking her up her favourite pancake dish and going over everything that happened yesterday over breakfast.
I had practised what I was going to say after I told my Uncle Benny everything that happened. He was disappointed in me and said that we needed to have a long chat on picking up actual red flags but that he was going to help me figure out the correct words to say to Pow and what I needed to expect from this talk.
So I'm about to head out and get the breakfast, with Benny also suggesting flowers (Pow loves flowers, but only if she can keep them alive in a pot) when the doorbell rings. I go and answer and Van is standing there with the pancakes I planned on getting, and a bag clothes.
Benny invited him in and Van apologised for rocking up so early but he wanted to bring Pow a fresh change of clothes before school, and her favourite breakfast.
To say we were confused would be an understatement. Benny asked what Van was talking about and Van then looked confused and asked if she wasn't here.
Long story short. Pow is now missing.
After she got home yesterday, she was in tears and Lo was the first to greet her. and in true Lo fashion decided to give her grief over this, Van doesn't know entirely what went down or what exactly was said but all he heard was a loud banshee-like scream, thudding, and Lo screaming in terror and pain. He had run into the entryway and saw Pow on top of Lo beating the shit out of him. (Something I would have paid to see).
Van had pulled Pow off of Lo but she was struggling to get out of his hold to continue her attack on Lo, so Van was reduced to shaking her by the shoulders and using his "snap out of it voice" which can come across pretty demanding. It worked and Pow instantly went from, in Van's words, a rabid Honey Badger to a lost and scared kitten. He demanded what was going on but Lo was groaning in pain, and by Van's words laying it on a little thick, and Pow was struck mute.
Van recognized her flight or fight response kicking in and started to tell her to get out and take a walk for a bit but he only got out "Get Out" before Pow bolted from the house, Van shouted out after her to go to Benny's and he'll see her tomorrow but he wasn't sure she heard but was certain she would come here anyway because she usually does when overwhelmed.
At this point I was starting to really feel sick, I explained everything that happened yeaterday at school. Van got really quiet and just just sighed heavily, and just looked at me with so much disappointment.
I thought I felt ashamed when all of you called me an AH but seeing this man's disappointment plain as day just crushed me. I mumbled out a pathetic sorry, but Van said that all of that didn't matter right now and what was important was finding his daughter.
He lectured me on my behavior and wanted the full story and I told him how everyone was saying the same things about Pow being toxic and that I spoke with Daisy, and she and her GF told me about how possessive she had been acting with them and that she was most likely doing the same thing.
Van asked for some examples, and I admitted I didn't see anything myself but my friends and my GF's friends often told me about her comments towards them and how one time she claimed that I belonged to her and she was certain I would always chose her over any skank that would try and muscle in. (I never added this info in my original post, because my mind was all over the place and there's a character limit)
I admitted that I didn't believe it at first, but the more and more people were telling me about her antics the more and more concerned I got, and when Daisy all but confirmed Pow's possessiveness I stupidly fell into the notion that everything was true.
I felt so stupid saying it all out loud.
Van asked me what Pow said in her defense, and I couldn't answer him because I never asked. Something he picked up on by my silence.
He sighed again and said that none of that helps locate his daughter right now, and asked if she had any other friends she would go to if I wasn't available.
So I called Zer, who miraculously answered my call, and asked if Pow was with her. But she hasn't seen or heard from her, she had tried called and texting Pow herself yesterday but got nothing back.
I took the day off the school, to help look for her.
It's now 6PM and we're currently at the Enforcers station, hoping to see if they picked up any wayward teenage girls.
I'll update with more later.
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prettymorgueboy · 1 year
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modern elisop au hcs pls <33
「 Oh my god words can’t even begin to describe how endlessly I love these two… I’m gonna def make more of my main idv ships. These two make me soft, unless a certain Eli main gets flirted with… @etherealsprout 」
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「 Elisop modern AU 」 (headcannons)
Eli divider by Aoino
Aesop Divider 2022 Bday art!
More below the cut!
┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. 。˚   °
the biggest lovebirds the world has ever seen, how'd they get there though? The slowest slow burn alive.
Modern Au? Def Aesop and Eli know each other through mutual friends (cough vicdrew)
Eli’s engagement in this is a bit sour, good terms but they can both mutually agree it’s not working out, but neither will call it off.
Poor Aesop had a crush on Eli for months, shyly confessed by accident to the man but was turned down cause he’s engaged.
Things go back to their normal friendship, Eli def wouldn’t take crushes seriously and didn't mind aesop pining after him.
Feeling guilty the moment he realized he liked Aesop in return, spent weeks wondering if he was horrible for having attractions to someone else.
Tried to shyly confess back, but aesop doesn’t take rejection well and just snaps coldly while he’s working.
“You’re engaged.”
Eli takes the rejection calmly, he nods and leaves, aesop is quick to apologize that night but Eli shuts him down so fast.
“You’re right I’m engaged and have no reason to be with you.”
They do this for weeks until finally Brooke gets attached to Aesop, Eli finds the three of them relaxing together until Brooke is dozing comfortably.
Eli is cozied up as well, happy to be all curled up, aesop is a nervous wreck and just very quietly through his teeth.
“Will you accept my affections”
Eli laughs, legit takes this stupid man’s hands and kisses them so softly, he loves this anxiety ridden man more than anything.
T4t because I said so
Also, Aesop is canonly autistic. And in this household we don’t baby our mfs because we are also autistic ourselves.
While Aesop is introverted and shy it comes from a place of anxiety, and a fear of social rejections. We do not baby our man out here.
Aesop likes to be called Eli’s gf or bf, doesn’t find gender important much at all, he cares solely about the love and care he finally receives after being deprived of it for years.
Taking physical contact so slow, Eli is getting used to being intimate again.
Aesop is terribly shy to most affection.. this poor man is in shambles when they do anything.
Hand holding? Hiding his face.
Small kisses? His entire face goes red and Eli has his cheeks in his gloves.
Anything even remotely close to pda? Aesop is so anxious it’s not even funny.
He loves it, but he panics and overthinks constantly, wants them to be safe and gets nervous when others question their public affection.
Eli loves physical touch, takes his time and is patient with Aesop and sticks with lots of small gifts and acts of service.
Aesop would never outright ask for any sort of physical touch, not at first, but he will glance at Eli’s lips and look away, or he’ll brush against his hand if he wants to hold them.
When Aesop starts to become more comfortable and does whatever he wants??? Eli is bright red.
One time before a hang out with friends someone tried to flirt with Eli and Aesop grabbed his chair and pulled him closer, started a random ass convo and just went.
“You’re…really pretty.”
Idc idc idc Brooke loves Aesop too, that little one coo’s all the time, loves to see him.
Aesop def is still a mortician, nothing can change that.
ELI??? Works in an animal rescue sanctuary but works mainly with the birds, Brooke was a special case and made it able for eli to care for her personally.
Aesop meeting eli is like someone meeting their s/o’s child for the first time, eli said so seriously.
Ofc Brooke loved him, he’s quiet and calm well appears to be, so fucking adorable the way Brooke is quick to love this man.
Aesop always brings Eli flowers, he works around funerals he knows the importance of flowers, his favorite to give are daisies mixed with forget me nots with some basil. Man is so smitten and set on Eli.
Eli hangs them to dry, or drys them in a sort of sand, when Aesop comes over again and sees the flowers all dried and hung or in portraits behind glass he stares and Eli just jokingly goes.
“Do you think this counts as a form of embalming?”
AESOP DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY SO HE JUST KISSES HIM SO DEEP AND BABBLES OUT.
“You’re wonderful truly, you’re absolutely wonderful.”
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I was gonna do nsfw hcs….but this is.. so long already just for random ass hcs, so I’ll do an actual nsfw hc for them later, probs an abc one because I’m love them endlessly and not at all for kinning reasons..
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ziracona · 3 months
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Played Aways Sometimes Monsters. As is tradition, was telling my closest work friend the story when we had downtime at work. There’s three of us in the room, her, me, and the youngest staff member.
Anyway, I go through the whole thing—I got a book deal, but it comes and it’s only for me not my writing partner and me, so I cut him out like a scumbag. But I can’t deliver. I end up being dumped by my boyfriend, and can’t make rent, end up on the street for a night. I deserve this. Then my ex, the mothetfucker, less than a /year/ after our breakup, sends me an invite /to his WEDDING/. Like BRO?!? I mean you’re free but to /invite me/??? Like. Anyway, it’s also at my favorite venue ever? Insult to injury.
I’m like fuck it. I’m gonna go. This is some weird game to him? I’ll play.
I have to get money for a bus ticket though. Friend running a rock show is letting me roadie. His junky gf shows up, trying to give him heroine but he’s trying to go clean, so I flush it. She ends up in the hospital bc he breaks up with her though and then we’re scrambling to try and get this classist addict hating doctor to save her. We end up finding photos of him doing some shit and blackmail. Girl is okay, I pay for their rehab. I barely save enough to get my apartment back, have nothing for a ticket now though. My publisher check comes, and it’s for like 250 bc I am a fuckup who didn’t write the book. Call my publisher to cry about my ex and he’s like “okay I’m a sucker for drama” bc he’s the Regina George of everyone’s secrets and decides to help me get a gig to find the ticket. I break a case doing temp work for the news helping some people keep their apartments, and then make friends with this suicidal ex ad agency guy so I actually get a ride to the next few towns over—looking up, right? — okay but like. Shit just keep happening—oh and it’s worse right? My ex? When we were in college and best friends, Sam my writing partner, we were like “bro as long as we’re together it’ll be okay” like I’m the /worst/. He asked me to wingman a guy and I was like sure bro and I tried but the guy said he didn’t like Sam and liked me, and I passed bc bros before hoes, but he keeps coming back and I get stuck helping him set up a telescope during an asteroid shower and he kisses me and I don’t know at the time but Sam sees so yeah? The ex? It’s Sam’s crush. Like /literally/ what is wrong with me.
—anyway, I go through the story in this manner clear to ‘so the wedding invitation? Marcel - the ex - goes ‘I didn’t send it’ and Sam steps in and is like ‘I did!’ THATS WHO HES MARYING. And like I deserve it but damn. Anyway he’s got a book deal now with MY publisher Larry, a way better one, and is marrying my ex, and Sam is like “I couldn’t get married without my best friend ^u^” and I can’t tell if he’s fucking with me or God’s most oblivious man but I’m like ‘fair either way’ so I help him pick a suit for the wedding and we go to his bachelor party in Vegas. Right. Last day, my publisher is like ‘you know how I asked for the journal you keep bc I need /a/ book and I’m gonna make something out of it even if it sucks? We on?’ and I’m like ‘all yours bro.’ It’s my last shot at a career. End of day he gets it. and I’ve written a lot so fingers crossed. But anyway I can’t find Sam and I was blackout drunk last night but I’m up 600 so I hit blackjack *pause to explain to coworker how to play blackjack* go back to my room after some real once in a lifetime king shit wins, and Sam is tearing it apart and I’m like bro?! And he’s like “where is your journal!” And I’m like? And this guard comes in with a gun and we get taken to the back and apparently my boy got so black out drunk last night that he stumbled into the high stakes room and lost 10 thousand dollars and he’s like “please please I need your journal my advance from Larry is 10k and if I turn it in as my work, he gives it to me, and I give the Casino their cash, instead of getting shot” and I’m like I’m “THEY SHOOT CASINO THIEVES?” anyway like it would ruin my career to bail on Larry again but I’d do it for Sam, but I was /killing/ it in blackjack just now so I’m like ‘actually I’ll just pay’ bc I just won 30 grand in blackjack-‘
And the kid coworker gasps SO loud and I realize only here that everything I’ve said, me being as she knows, also a writer, is just /barely/ plausible enough that she, having missed the ‘so there’s this game’ part of the convo, thinks that I am both god’s worst scumbag friend who just came into 30k in Vegas, and that she has been party to the most scalding tea of her entire life the last hour
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poetsdepartment · 1 year
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ok so like, last thing about m/tty and taylor for now, including a personal story time
i’ve been trying to reckon with how i feel.  just kind of give it a name, find its location within other things i have felt before so that i can further express and validate it internally.
essentially, this reminds me of a recent situation with a “friend” of mine that i was into.  i put friend in quotes because we rarely interact as intimately and often as we used to.  around the end of last year, oct-dec, we were hanging out nearly everyday, texting a ton, even called for hours once.  it got to the point where he’d text me if mutual friends invited us to the same event, because he wanted to see if i was also going.  we met through dance and being on the same team and i was immediately into him-- BUT he had a gf at the time.  then they broke up in oct and obviously started leaning on me.  despite him doing lots of things that crossed platonic boundaries, i never pursued it bc 1) dance crossover can get ugly and 2) we have a 10 year age gap!  kinda a lot for me.  then, he got back with his gf around christmas time, and started investing less time and energy into our friendship.  nowadays, we don’t text or call, and we only see each other because of dance things we attend individually.  we still have positive and friendly interactions, but it’s on a totally different plane than before.  it’s like those three months never even happened-- we’re at the same level of friendship as we were when we first met.  though it is upsetting, there have been lots of red flags he’s exposed about himself since we stopped being as close, so it feels like i escaped something.  but i still mourn for our previous dynamic all of the time, especially considering how sudden the turn was, and how discard-able that shift made me feel and still makes me feel.  even though it’s been five months, the rawness is still there.  not only did it cement i was wrong in crushing on him, but also, i lost a friend.
i think that piece of whiplash in dynamic is exactly what is happening with taylor and m/tty right now, where suddenly, i feel like i have to let go of a way of relating to her with absolutely no notice.  and, regardless of if or how she apologizes, this has shown a negative side of her character that i’ll never be able to forget, similarly to my friend.  and it leaves this major confliction where you miss the person you thought someone was and the relationship you had, even if it was just a version or a curation of the truth, while knowing the distance you have is ultimately better for you and your mental health.  and also, not associating with someone who brings you pain simply through the way they interact with others and with you.  and the multi-faceted disappointment appears, too.  not only would i have to shift the way i relate to her, but it also means her music-- which i’ve been relating to deeply since i was a child-- would put a negative taste in my mouth that i’d have to work through.  someone described this as a breakup and i really feel like the same processing applies.
for people who have been loving her for almost a decade, in the fandom for just as long, felt like only taylor understood them, this is bigger than being able to just not listen to her music anymore.  it’s learning how to cope with the presence of someone you have once loved who is still around your life, but you have to shift the way you relate to them to not be harmed.  from first-hand experience with someone i have a very real, not parasocial relationship with (for haters who are like “stop being parasocial!!!”), i can say it 1) feels the same and 2) keeps hurting for a long time and absolutely sucks. 
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luvdsc · 4 years
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doing the bf tag with my bf.
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hey, siri, does bf stand for best friend or boyfriend? (or both?)
pairing :: na jaemin x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + youtuber au word count :: 4,691 words warnings :: none playlist :: mean it (lauv & lany) ⋆ always, i’ll care (jeremy zucker) ⋆ fearless (taylor swift) ⋆ fingers crossed (coin) ⋆ cardiac arrest (bad suns) author’s note :: this fic is a tiny bit different than my usual writing because i emphasize more on dialogue than description in order to mimic a youtube video. happy birthday to this absolute darling angel! you have the biggest heart in the universe, and thank you for sharing so much of it with the world ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.
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Your subscribers have always wondered if you would do this type of video countless of times, and you never thought you’d ever actually record one due to the state of your love life (or lack thereof), yet here you are.
Unfortunately, the romantic department of your life still remains very much empty though. But lucky for you, so is your best friend’s. And that pretty much works out perfectly because he could stand in for your nonexistent boyfriend in order to complete the popular GF/BF tag (along with a hidden challenge that was popular by demand and personally requested by a certain friend with a flair for baking. Now if only the frantic butterflies in your stomach would settle down just enough for you to do it).
After all, BF could stand for either boyfriend or best friend, right?
It’s also no secret that yours and Jaemin’s subscribers shipped you two together either. Heck, you may be a little delusional as well because you ship yourself with your best friend, too. Blame the massive crush you’ve been secretly harboring. But two best friends sharing an apartment and frequently appearing in videos on each of your respective channels? In the eyes of your fans, that’s basically the perfect setup for a modern day love story.
It would 100% be the greatest love story since Kat and Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You, but at this point in your life, your story is going to be marked down as a tragedy. You feel even more hopeless and dramatic than Romeo was about his unrequited love for Rosaline. Also, that dude got over her way too quickly at the sight of another pretty girl. You wish that would happen for you, too, but your heart is much too stubborn over Jaemin.
When you had asked him if he would do the video with you, Jaemin immediately agreed much to your initial surprise. The publicity would be good though, you surmise later on, and both our fan bases would grow, so of course, he would agree. It’s not like your best friend liked you back. That would be absolutely absurd.
“Are you ready?” Jaemin speaks up, breaking your train of thought, and you’re slightly startled. He plops down in the plush pink rolling chair next to you, the chair moving back a few inches. He scooches it closer to your own chair, buzzing with excitement. You smile at your best friend, pushing down the butterflies erupting in your stomach. You nod before reaching forward and pressing the record button on the camera set up in front of you. You pull up the list of questions on your phone.
“Yeah, let's do this.”
How did we meet?
“Oh, this is an easy question,” Jaemin says, flashing his award winning smile at the camera before he throws his arm around you happily, hugging you affectionately. “It was freshman year. You ran into me. Literally. We were in the same class, and it just ended. You were trying to shove your textbook into your bag and didn’t notice where you were walking until you face-planted into my back.”
The memory is still fresh in your mind, and you remember how you had already resigned yourself to your fate of becoming good friends with the floor. But Lady Luck was on your side for once, and she sent an angel in the form of Na Jaemin to save you from embarrassment on your first day of university.
“Yeah, I almost fell flat on my butt, but luckily, Nana has great reflexes and when he turned around, he grabbed my arm before I hit the ground,” you add on, still squished into his side. He beams, eyes crinkling into half moon crescents before placing a kiss on your cheek and turning back to the camera.
Your heart skips a beat, but you ignore it. Jaemin has always been affectionate, and kisses were all in good fun. You continue on, plastering a nonchalant smile on your face. “And he said, ‘Looks like you just fell for me.’ And then he insisted that we get lunch together.”
“And the rest is history!” he exclaims happily, resting his cheek on the top of your head. You smile fondly before going onto the next question.
Where was our first date?
“The dining hall immediately after you ran into me.”
“That wasn’t a date,” you interject. “We can skip this question since we aren’t dating.”
Jaemin shrugs, waiting for you to read the next question. He murmurs faintly under his breath, “It was supposed to be one.”
We’re going out to eat, where are we going?
Jaemin answers immediately, leaning back in his chair. “The little pizza place down the block! They always make three different types of unique pizza everyday, and once they sell out, they close for the day.”
“We always go on Wednesday because they make both of our favorite pizzas then.” You chime in, and he nods enthusiastically, moving closer to the front and throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis. “They have corn and potato pizza that day!”
You wrinkle your nose slightly before leaning towards the camera. “To my subscribers, for the record, I assure you that I have better taste than that, and I love the artichoke pesto pizza with ricotta.”
What food do I dislike?
“... Corn and potato pizza,” he says reluctantly with a pout. “And kiwis. The outside is furry and creeps you out, and the fruit makes your tongue itch.”
You flash a thumbs up at the camera, and your best friend grins, puffing up his chest. Chuckling quietly, you shake your head before answering the question yourself. “And this dork absolutely hates anything strawberry flavored. And he’s lactose intolerant, so dairy is his enemy.”
“I love cheese, but cheese hates me,” he says mournfully, hanging his head down low before he jumps back up and reads the following question listed on your phone’s screen aloud.
Who is my best friend?
“Me!” Jaemin shouts gleefully, throwing his hands up in the air, and you can’t help but laugh, grinning widely at your best friend, a fond expression on your face.
“You.”
Am I a morning person or a night person?
“We’re both night people,” you say, and Jaemin nods in agreement. “You won’t catch either of us waking up before noon if we can’t help it, and we each have to set up like five alarms just to wake up.”
“It works out because we can stay up together watching movies or editing our videos,” he adds in, turning to you and smiling fondly. “And I always have a partner when I want to go on a midnight snack run to the convenience store nearby.”
Do we have a song? What is it?
“Jeremy Zucker’s Always, I’ll Care.”
“That’s our song?” You’re surprised. You were going to mention one of the go-to karaoke songs the two of you liked to belt out on the top of your lungs after a movie and wine night. Jaemin makes a great Sharpay Evans when you both want to bop to the top.
“It’s the song that reminds me of you,” he says, voice growing softer as he reaches the end of the sentence. Curse your heart for melting into a puddle. His cheeks turn pink under your gaze, and he becomes uncharacteristically shy, clearing his throat awkwardly.
“Anyway, what’s the next question?”
What’s my nickname?
“Nana!” You reach out to poke his cheek, and he puffs them up before pouting at you. He reaches out and pinches your cheek.
“I call you ‘angel’ sometimes. It’s why your channel is called peachyangel.”
What's my weirdest habit?
“Jaemin eats way too much cilantro,” you state, swinging around side to side in your rolling chair.
“I do not!” he protests loudly, and you give him a blank stare. The two of you sit there in silence, not breaking eye contact until he finally relents.
“Okay, maybe I do. But you pour cereal before milk!”
“That’s not a weird habit!” You defend yourself. You are appalled at your best friend. Neither of you have ever woken up early enough for breakfast, so this has never come up before. If you would’ve known this in the past, maybe you wouldn’t be so ridiculously in love with him in the present.
“Yes, it is! Your cereal gets all soggy that way!”
“Only idiots pour their milk first!”
He clutches his heart dramatically. “Are you calling me an idiot?!”
“... So moving onto the next question—”
What do you think I’m talented at?
“Making people fall in love with you,” Jaemin blurts out, and your eyes widen at his answer as your grip on your phone loosens considerably.
“I—I mean, you’re just so approachable, and you’re kind to everyone. You care so much about everyone and everything. People feel comfortable around you, they always gravitate towards you, and you just— I don’t know, you make people feel loved,” he explains, unable to meet your eyes, and his cheeks darken. He fiddles around with the loose strand on his sweater sleeve.
Your heart swells ten times bigger and beats faster than ever. You wonder if Jaemin knows he has the same effect on everyone, too. You hope he does.
You wonder if he knows you’re in love with him and if he would love you back. You hope he does.
When was the first time you said “I love you”  to me?
“Uh, we can skip this one, too,” you say awkwardly, but he throws his arm around your shoulder again, hugging you tightly. “Nope, not skipping! I have the answer to this one!”
He grins toothily at the camera before pinching your cheek for a second time affectionately. “I said ‘I love you’ when you showed up at my dorm and brought me pop tarts at three in the morning after I accidentally drunk texted you, instead of Jeno. That’s when I knew you were a keeper.”
“I did that because I felt bad about throwing up on your shoes at the party we went to the weekend before that,” you mumble, face growing warm when you remember your best friend’s drunken confession a few years back. “Besides, you were drunk. It doesn’t count.”
“Okay, fine, but we say it to each other all the time. The second time I said it was when you brought me chicken nuggets, and I was hungover, but sober.” He says, spinning in his chair.
“I can see the pattern now. You say it when I bring you food,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest with a fake pout. “You love food, not me.”
“That’s not true!” he exclaims, halting mid spin and facing you. He turns your chair towards him, moving forward to clutch both of your hands in his, and stares directly into your eyes seriously. “I love you.”
You inaudibly gulp, helplessly gazing back at him as you feel your face begin to burn, your heart speeding up in your chest. Jaemin grins, leaning back and letting go of your hand. “See? I love you!”
“Y-yeah.” You swallow hard, fumbling over your words. “You love me.”
What is your favorite thing about me?
“Your laugh,” Jaemin replies honestly, reaching out and absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of your hand as he looks at you. “Hyuck told me the other day that whenever I try to do something funny or make a joke, I have a habit of turning towards you for your reaction. It makes me kinda proud that I can make you laugh.”
You know that you’re stupidly grinning like an absolute idiot at this point, but you don’t care. You even almost forget about the camera.
“Your smile,” you answer, maintaining eye contact with him. Your smile widens when you see one appear on his face, his eyes shining brightly. “You have the prettiest smile, and I’m grateful that I’m able to see it everyday or be the cause of it sometimes.”
What film always makes me cry?
“Oh, The Lion King.” Jaemin responds automatically. “We both cry our eyes out at the stampede moment and when Simba tells his dad to wake up.”
“When we saw the live action version together, we brought along a ton of tissues with us, and he used almost all of them.”
What drink do I always order?
“Jaemin is crazy and always gets a venti iced americano with no water and eight espresso shots. He used to drink it six times a day until I yelled at him about it,” you say, shaking your head at the camera before glancing over at your best friend. “It’s seriously bad for your health.”
His lips jut out into a pout as he whines, “You wouldn't let me cuddle with you until I changed it!”
“It was for your own good! Plus, that drink tasted like battery acid!” You exclaim, and he sulks quietly before begrudgingly agreeing. You pat his head in consolation, and he grabs your hand, naturally interlocking your fingers with his.
“I drink it less now and with only two and half shots.”
If I could, what candy could I eat all day long?
“Chocolate,” you blurt out immediately. “Jaemin is a chocolate fanatic. But he’ll take anything with sugar. He has such a sweet tooth. He eats brown sugar when he’s bored. Even his boba drink has 100% sugar.”
“It’s as sweet as you.” Jaemin winks at you exaggeratingly, and you roll your eyes, turning your face away slightly to hide the smile that begins to spread across your face.
“Y/N likes matcha green tea Kit Kats.” He leans closer to the camera, peering into the lens in a serious manner. “If any chocolate companies are watching this, we are both open to sponsorships.”
If I could live anywhere in the world, where would I live?
“Here,” Jaemin says confidently, beaming at you, “You’d want to live here with me. And I want to live here, too. Because this is the bestest place in the world.” He hesitates, faltering for a moment before searching your eyes. “Right?”
Who are you to say no to that?
You smile at him. “Right.”
What am I deathly afraid of?
“You’re afraid of spiders,” he announces, “You make me take care of all the spiders in the apartment.”
“Yeah, it’s the only reason I keep you around,” you say casually, and he gasps, insulted. You give him a cheeky smile. “I’m just kidding.”
He scowls at you, lips pulled into a frown. “You better be.”
What is the first thing that I do in the morning?
“Jaemin is never awake before I am,” you inform the camera, crossing your legs. “I have to wake him up first if we go anywhere.”
“Even if you don’t have to go to an event, you still wake up early to make sure I’m awake, so I won’t be late. So that’s what you do first thing in the morning: wake me up.” Jaemin nudges your leg. “You always come into my room as a blanket burrito with your comforter wrapped around you.”
“That’s because I have to face the treacherous cold to make sure you aren’t late to your events. But you still end up late anyway because you drag me down onto your bed and refuse to let me go until we lay there for twenty minutes,” you grumble, pulling up your legs onto your chair and wrapping your arms around your knees.
“Cuddling is a good way to conserve body heat and start the morning,” Jaemin states, waving his arms around to emphasize his point.
“Really? Do studies show that it’s beneficial to cuddle in the morning?”
“I don’t know.” Jaemin shrugs, making a noncommittal noise. He smiles at you, causing your stomach to do flip flops and your heart to do cartwheels. “But it makes me happy every morning, so I’d say that’s enough proof.”
Who usually wins our arguments?
“Y/N does,” Jaemin sighs heavily, leaning back against his chair in resignation. “You always win.”
“It’s true.” You nod, patting Jaemin’s arm consolingly. “It’s tough always being right, but someone has to do it.”
“You always pout, too, and I just give in because you’re too cute,” he says casually, and you freeze in your seat. Never mind the fact that he’s implying you’re wrong, Na Jaemin just called you cute.
Good thing this is caught on camera because this means you can secretly watch this multiple times in private. And also cringe over your awkward reaction, but let’s not talk about that right now because once again, Jaemin just called you cute. You! Cute! Jaemin! Your mind is honestly short circuiting, and you can’t do anything, except nod and smile like a complete fool.
What do we usually argue about?
“Adopting,” Jaemin says solemnly. Eyes widening, you wait for a moment, but he offers no explanation. You lightly shove his chair, and he rolls a few inches away. “Nana, you can't just end it like that! You have to say more than that!”
Turning towards the camera, you hurriedly explain, “He’s talking about pets. He wants to adopt five dogs and name them after Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, Renjun, and Mark. And then he wants to adopt a snake and name it after Donghyuck.”
“She said we could only get one dog and the snake.” Jaemin scowls, slumping in his seat as he stares into the camera. “I can’t believe she isn’t letting me get five dogs. I love Jisung and all non-Jisung’s equally.”
What’s my favorite clothing item?
“It’s not even yours. You always steals my white hoodie. I haven’t been able to wear it for the past month,” Jaemin complains, and you have the decency to look a little guilty.
You play with the strings of said hoodie that’s currently engulfing your body, curling into yourself as you tuck your face into the sweater like a turtle. “Your clothes smell nice.”
“But we use the same laundry detergent.” Jaemin wrinkles his eyebrows, confusion evident in his eyes. “All our clothes smell like snuggles and cotton.”
“It’s not the same,” you insist, wrinkling your nose, and he shakes his head, lips curling into a smile. He reaches over and tugs the hood of the sweater over your head playfully.
“Okay, whatever you say, angel. You look better in them than me anyway.”
Where am I on a Friday night?
“You’re here with me, eating Chinese take out and watching Criminal Minds,” you answer, and he agrees, nodding.
“We just finished watching all twelve seasons on Netflix, so if anyone has any show recommendations, please send them in!”
What is my weirdest interest?
“Once again, my clothes,” Jaemin says, and you begin to protest but he wags his finger at you. “No, no, no, you don’t get to disagree! You hoarded like six of my sweaters in your closet. I bought you the exact same sweater for your birthday, but you still take mine!”
You silently decide that it is better to accept this defeat than correct him because you actually have seven of his sweaters and a few tee shirts as well.
Who’s my favorite YouTuber?
“Me!” Jaemin’s hand shoots up in the air. “I’m your favorite YouTuber. Next question.”
Your hands start to get clammy as you look down at the final question you have been saving for last. It’s been a good fifteen minutes, and the butterflies still haven’t subsided. If anything, they seem to have multiplied and transformed into a whole rampaging zoo complete with elephants and monkeys.
“Uh, are you sure about that, Nana? ShowMeTheMonet is really good. I also really like itsmebetch a lot.” You stall for time, staring at the last question until the words are stamped in your mind. “Dream Unsolved and Worth It are amazing, too.”
Suddenly, Jaemin is right in front of you as he spins your chair around to face him, frowning and complaining, “What do you mean I’m not your favorite? You’re my favorite! What kind of best friend are you? This is a betrayal! An insult! This is worse than Jisung not calling me his favorite! How could you do this to m—”
“Okay, okay, you’re my favorite! I’m sorry! It was a joke,” you interrupt, but he turns away from you, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No, go make a video with ShowMeTheMonet instead.” He sulks, shoulders hunched over. “If you like her so much, go be best friends with her.”
“I’m sorry! I’ll buy you all the chocolate you want after this,” you plead with him, placing your phone on the table next to you. “I’ll even buy you boba everyday for a week!”
Jaemin brightens up at that immediately. “Oh, yeah! I want some milk tea after this! Okay, what’s the last question?”
You swallow hard, nervously fiddling with the hoodie strings once more and shoving all the butterflies down to the pit of your stomach. Twisting in your seat, you move your chair and spin his around until you’re both facing each other, knees touching.
“‘Where and when was our first kiss?’”
At the immediate thought of kissing you, his cheeks explode in various shades of pink, the tips of his ears catching fire. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about kissing you daily. Heck, he had to stop himself from doing so earlier when you were burying your face in his stolen hoodie. It’s so unfair that you’re always so cute and looking so… so… kissable.
“I, uh, I don’t think I can answer that,” your best friend stammers out as his eyes dart towards your lips before meeting yours.
“But you got all the other answers right.” Your voice comes out steadier than you thought it would, and you mentally pat yourself on the back. Gnawing on your bottom lip, you pause for a moment, balling your hands into fists before uncurling them and asking hesitantly, “Should I help you out?”
“Yes.” He wonders how exactly you can help him out. Oh god, did he kiss you before when he was drunk? But you would’ve told him if he did that. What if he had ki—
A soft pair of lips lands on his.
You’re kissing him. Oh my god, you’re kissing him! Jaemin wants to jump up and shout it from the rooftops. His heart leaps from his chest, and he’s wildly cheering in his mind as fireworks explode around him before he suddenly remembers that he has to kiss you back.
And so he does.
Jaemin tugs you closer until you’re pulled onto his lap, a muffled squeak of surprise coming from you, and he laughs as he presses his lips against yours more firmly, hands gripping your thighs as you straddle him. Your arms loop around his neck, and your heart ricochets in your chest as you kiss him back until your lungs are screaming for oxygen and you have to pull away.
Jaemin positively beams at you, eyes sparkling as he leans forward and nuzzles his nose against yours affectionately. He laughs breathlessly, resting his forehead against yours. “Yeah, that was really helpful. Our first kiss just happened right here a few seconds ago. And now, our second kiss is about to happen.”
Your best friend closes the distance, crashing his lips against yours once more, and you kiss him back just as fervently, smiling against his lips as he does the same. Never in either of your wildest dreams did you think this was going to happen, but you sure as heck aren’t complaining, and neither is he.
When the two of you finally break apart, you bury your face into the crook of his neck, flustered, and Jaemin laughs giddily, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling. He hugs you tightly to his chest before nudging you to look up at him. “So did I get a 100% on the boyfriend tag?”
“Yes,” you say, sitting up straight on his lap and grabbing both of his hands in each of your own, intertwining your fingers with his. “You got twenty five out of twenty five. Congratulations on your perfect score.”
“Technically, you did do the boyfriend tag with your boyfriend then, right?” he says slyly, squeezing your fingers. “Shouldn’t I get some bonus points for helping you do the tag correctly?”
You chuckle, failing to contain your smile. “Okay, fine, you get bonus points, too. You did an A plus job, Nana.”
“I’ll take those bonus points in the form of kisses.” He puckers his lips at you, and you easily comply, wordlessly leaning forward to give him one, two, three kisses.
Jaemin grins at you, positively delighted before he attacks you with kisses, peppering soft kisses onto your cheeks, forehead, chin, the tip of your nose, and everywhere else in between until he finally kisses your lips gently.
If this was a cartoon, there would be hearts floating around his head and shooting from his eyes. He leans forward again to kiss you one more time for good measure. You smile mischievously, tilting your head to the side slightly as your hands curl around his shirt. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you want for your bonus points?”
His eyebrows furrow for a split second before his entire face lights up. Jaemin carefully cradles you, picking you up as his grip tightens under your thighs. You let out a quiet squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck, as he stands up enthusiastically.
“Cut the cameras!”
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One new notification: peachyangel uploaded a new video!
nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ commented:
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANGEL 🥺💗💞💖💗🤩💝💕💜🤧💖💘😭💘🌼💐🥺💖🥺🥺🥺
peachyangel replied: ily too baby 🥺🤧💖💖
insert goofy’s chuckle commented:
is this allowed?? there are minors here 😫 jisung look away
peachyangel replied: get your mind out of the gutter, ya nasty 🙄 we turned off the cam because he wanted to go get milk tea
jisung pwark replied: I’m 18!!!!! Stop treating me like a child!!! 
ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ jisung pwark stop making me cut the crusts off of your sandwiches then
big head king replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck how come you don’t cut the crusts off of my sandwiches 😭😭
ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ big head king because you are a grown adult and jeno already does it for you
jenojam commented:
congrats jaemin!! :)
Starbucks Official commented:
we would love to sponsor you, Mr. Na!
FIGHTING HAEYADWAE commented:
OH YOU ARE NANA!!1!1!!! 🤯🤯
ShowMeTheMonet commented:
um hello i would love to do the gf tag with you! i accept!!! it would be an honor 🤩
peachyangel replied: omg yes!!!! 🥺🥺 let’s do it soon 💖
insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ did… did we just lose our gfs 🤧
mork lee rawr xD commented:
hahaha nice guys ! this was really cute haha
ty track commented:
the babies are all growing up too fast ):
jeno is my favorite commented:
.... i feel so single @.@
DonutKillMyVibe commented:
let it be known that I was the friend who challenged @ peachyangel to do the challenge and hence, I am the reason these two are together 👀👀
ghosts are real so suck it hyuck commented:
someone should make an updated version of that jaemin complaining video compilation with this
big head king commented:
ayyy you all are the GOAT 🐐🐐🐐
jenojam commented:
so are we just gonna let it slide when he called everyone except jisung “non jisungs” ?
jisung pwark replied: 😎😎
insert goofy’s chuckle commented:
is no one gonna comment on how he called me a snake?????
ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle is no one gonna comment on how much of a clown hyuck is???
insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck wtf? where did this even come from
ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle sorry I thought we were stating the obvious here
big head king replied: LOLOLOL
apado gwenchana god commented:
nice 😎👍🏻
3K notes · View notes
heartcal · 3 years
Text
“who do you believe?”; l.h.
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Disclaimer: i didn’t want to write sierra as a bad person because i personally cannot see that, and i know there’s some discourse about her within in the fandom but i don’t want any of that here! so i named the girlfriend after a girl who bullied me in elementary school lol (but another disclaimer: i do not want to see any hate towards the boys’ s/o! pls don’t send any asks that talks bad about them, i will not answer them!)
thank you for requesting! :^)
a/n: while transfering this from microsoft word, the formatting kept screwing up for some reason so if there are some janky paragraphs, i apologize! not too comfortable with this one compared to my previous fic (this feels rushed) but it is long and i did not mean for that to happen lol. enjoy!
if there are any mistakes, please tell me!
pairing(s): not really a mention of luke hemmings x reader but it’s mostly luke hemmings x named gf (rachel/oc) (gender neutral but if i slipped up, please let me know!)
summary: having known luke for years, it was bound to happen eventually. the crush you developed happened before you could stop it, and you did your best to keep it a secret. you told no one, did your best not to show it, so what do you do when his girlfriend finds out?
genre: angst, and mostly angst >:^)
warnings: swearing, luke’s gf being mean, bullying?
wc: 4,057 (she’s a long one)
my masterlist!
You don’t know when it happened, or frankly how it happened, but one thing is for sure: you don’t want to feel this way.
Was it when he bought you a stuffed animal version of a pet you had as a kid, one that you remember so fondly and still tear up about it to this day? Or was it when he would always bring back a certain candy you can only find in its country of origin, and bring as much as customs would allow? Maybe it was when he printed out every photo he could find from the beginning of your friendship to the present day (at that time) and made a scrapbook for your birthday since you cherish memories?
Whatever memory it was, you want to track it down and destroy it. It wasn’t fair that you developed such strong feelings for your best friend, knowing he doesn’t feel the same since he’s taken.
It’s not that he isn’t attractive – far from that because if anything, you wish you could draw just so you can draw him because there’s no way someone can look that good – but it’s more of the fact that he’s your best friend, someone you hold dear to you.
You two grew up together; saw each other’s worst phases, styles, and embarrassing moments (it was well documented towards the middle of the scrapbook). He was with you when you went through bad break-ups, and you with him. Throughout school, you two were inseparable, and when the band got big he made sure to keep you close and to never lose contact. It was hard in the beginning but you two managed.
Now finished with college, you’ve taken on the role of working with the team when they’re on tour and helping plan aesthetics for the next album. He offered the jobs after you struggled to find a job after graduation, and in the end, you enjoyed being with the guys and doing the tasks needed.
Tonight, the band was set to play their new album to an intimate crowd. It was to welcome back old fans and welcome new fans, introducing both sides to a new sound they worked hard on. You couldn’t be any more proud.
You sat on the couch as the guys walked around the room, pepping themselves up and hyping each other. You had finished doing your tasks with the crew and spent your free time watching the band prepare as the audience began to fill in the theater seats.
A nudge on your arm makes you direct your eyes from Michael styling his hair with a nervous expression to the person on your left.
“What’s up?” you asked, smiling at the curly-haired individual.
Luke shrugs, glancing around the room before his eyes land back on you. He has a small smile on his face as he leans back onto the couch, “Nothing.”
You scoff, shaking your head with a smile, “Yeah, sure, ‘nothing,’” you mimic, tilting your head to the side, “I doubt that.”
“What do you want me to say?”
You give him an incredulous look, crossing your arms as you turn to face him. You can tell he’s nervous, like the rest of the team and the band, but he won’t admit it. He’s always wanted others to view him as strong and unbothered, especially when those around him feel off.
He mirrors your position, a smirk on his lips because he knows you’re about to lecture him.
And he’s right.
“Your band has a new album out in a couple of days—an album you guys have worked hard on even when your management gave you shit, mind you—and you’re about to perform a majority of the songs in front of 500. Are you not nervous?”
He shakes his head, smugly smiling as he returns to his position leaning against the couch, watching Ashton dry the wet ends of his hair.
“Liar,” you mumble, uncrossing your arms and taking your phone out to check the time.
“Alright,” Luke sighs, giving in, “maybe I’m a little nervous, but I’m not a wreck.”
He’s still a liar. The success of their last album was astounding, so creating an album to reach that level and hopefully top it was hard enough. Playing it in front of an intimate crowd who may or may not like it was tough.
Luke isn’t cocky. He’s a humble man, but he likes to joke around in stressful situations. He’s used to concerts, so he doesn’t have any anxiety when it comes to performing. But when he is nervous for any reason, he won’t show it. He’ll act cool, completely collected with his head held high in confidence. If he needs to relieve the stress, he’ll either do it himself with a strong pep talk, or he’ll go to you.
“What are you nervous about?” You ask, wanting to make him feel better.
“Will they like it? Will it even chart? Is it too bold?” he continues listing out his insecurities about the album and the performance, finally lifting everything off his chest.
And you listen. The way his eyes stare into yours with slight confidence, covered by worry makes your heart sore. Luke’s kept everything inside and now that he’s listing his grievances, it makes you wonder just what else you can get out of him that he’s kept buried inside.
However, before you can give him your insight on this particular problem, “Luke!”
His head immediately turns to the door, the worry in his eyes fading out into sheer happiness and adoration. Something you’ve always wanted to see directed towards you.
Luke stands arms wide as he captures his girlfriend in his arms for a hug. Her arms wrap around his waist as his arms go around her shoulders, dipping his head down to kiss her on the head.
“I can’t believe you made it!” you hear him speak with excitement, expressing more words of happiness as he guides her to another part of the room.
You don’t miss the way her eyes glare in your direction, and you’re not afraid to give her a look back.
Rachel was nice when you met her. You actually liked her, despite your crush on Luke, and you were rooting for the two. But, a couple months ago during a stressful week, she turned on you. Her attitude towards you shifted, almost as if you had disrespected her and her bloodline. She would always act as if you weren’t in the room, and when plans were made with the boys, she would “accidentally” leave you out. It was embarrassing for you when you’d find out your friends went out, calling you to find out why you didn’t come. Due to the embarrassment, you would go along with it, making up some excuse as to why you were absent.
None of the boys, to your knowledge at least, have caught on to her antics, and you honestly hope they don’t. Whatever it is you did to her, you want to find out for yourself so you can fix it.
With a sigh, you stand from the couch, stretching your arms briefly before wandering to Calum, who stood in the shower room connected to the dressing room.
“Hey,” you greeted him with a warm smile.
He smiles back, finishing his drink before tossing the plastic cup in the trash. He grabs his bass, which was placed on the counter, and holds it out to you.
“You want me to see if it sounds out of tune?” you jokingly ask.
He nods, “Yeah, I feel like one of the chords might be flat.”
You chuckle as you pluck a random chord. His instruments are always tuned before it’s time to play. One of his pre-show nervous ticks was the constant doubt of his instruments being playable.
“It’s fine, Calum.”
The doubt shows on his face as he brings his guitar back to himself, putting it on and checking the chords himself, but it doesn’t last long as Ashton’s voice calls everyone to the center of the room.
Walking with Calum to where the rest of the crew was, you notice how attached Luke was to Rachel. Joint at the hip, arms wrapped around each other; it was annoying.
“Show starts in ten,” Ashton gains your attention, holding up a cup as Michael hands Calum a similar cup before doing the same to Luke. The three follow the drummer’s action as he continues, “let’s make this show fuckin’ awesome.”
The crew cheers, dying down quickly as Michael gives his thoughts, “We worked our asses off for this album, I don’t have any doubts about it. We got this, guys!”
The cheers resume as those with a drink take a celebratory sip before placing their empty cup on a surface near them.
Calum leaves your side to join Michael while Ashton heads to you.
“You excited?” he asks, putting his right arm around your shoulders with a large smile.
“Yeah!” you return the smile, “What about you? Nervous like the others?”
He shakes his head, crinkling his nose, “I’m not too nervous. I’m just happy to play again.”
You’re about to ask him what song he was the most excited to play, starting to get into the conversation but yet again you are interrupted by Rachel.
“Hey, Ash,” she greets him, Luke following close behind her as his arms make their way back around her shoulders again.
“Hi, Rachel,” Ashton nods his head at her – his eyes dance to Luke briefly before returning to Rachel’s, “didn’t think you’d make it.”
“Couldn’t miss your big show,” she smiles, looking up at her boyfriend as she pats his stomach.
Luke laughs, gently pushing her hand away from him, “I’m surprised, too—“ he grabs the guitar a crew member hands him, left arm lifting itself from Rachel’s shoulder as he slips the strap over his head, “—because her schedule did not look clear enough, but here she is.”
“Three minutes,” a different crew member rushes out, patting Luke and Ashton’s shoulders before rushing to tell the others.
“See you after,” Luke shifts his guitar away from Rachel before leaning down to kiss her on the lips – something you wish you didn’t see – and turning around to head out of the dressing room.
Ashton gives you a quick hug, “Excited for the lights,” he mumbles in your ear before turning to Rachel to give her a side hug.
It doesn’t go unnoticed how Rachel’s eyes glared at you by Ashton, but he doesn’t mention it as he heads out with the other guys towards the stage.
As a majority of the crew follow them out, you stay behind to clean up the empty cups and other trash, trying to occupy yourself as Rachel too stayed behind.
Her eyes followed you as you moved about the room, carrying the small plastic bag with you as it fills up with cups and wrappers. You could feel the glare burning into your side and back as you paid her no mind.
When it was just you two left, the bass from their opening song was heard and felt as you finished picking up the garbage.
“For how long have you liked Luke?”
You froze. Your head whipped towards Rachel, wide-eyed as you glanced around the room to make sure it was just the two of you.
“What…what are you talking about?” You can feel an extreme warmth rising up from the bottom of your back, all the way to your face, nervousness clouding your brain as she stares you down.
“Luke—,” she crosses her arms and moves to the couch, “how long have you liked Luke?”
“I don’t—I,” you stutter, your stomach dropping as you realize you’ve been caught.
His girlfriend knows you like him.
“Cut the bullshit,” she spits, “I can see it. You’ve been friends with him for years, you obviously caught feelings for him.”
You shake your head, standing up straight to give off the illusion of confidence. Turning your back to her and towards the door, “I don’t have to talk to you.”
You opted for walking out of the dressing room and go watch the band from the side of the stage, but you made a quick stop in the bathroom to splash cold water on your face.
You did what you could to avoid her during their performance. You knew she was watching you, seething at how you ended the conversation so fast.
Rachel wanted to break you down, find the reason why you like him and separate you two for as long as it takes to make him fall in love with her. She finds you a problem in their relationship because of how close you and Luke are, because of how long you’ve known each other. A threat to her and her relationship.
An hour and a half later, the show is finished and the whoops and cheers from the crowd indicate the album was very well received. That thought swept the interaction with Rachel from earlier under the rug as the boys’ adrenaline spread throughout the crew.
Ashton was first to greet you, sweaty and ready to envelop you in a hug but you’re quick to avoid it, ducking down just as his arms closed around the space where your head was. He laughs it off, heading for his next victim.
Next was Calum, who grabbed a drink from Andy and gulped it down. He had a smile on his face after, only growing wider when he saw you. “I think they liked it!”
“Bass in tune, huh?” you return, patting his back as he passes you to go to the next person.
Michael is the third, taking off his hat (which made you question why he was so worried about his hairstyle that he spent at least fifteen minutes playing with before the show). He stops in front of you, phone in hand as he takes a picture of the two of you: a tradition he started a few tours ago as a joke.
Finally, Luke makes his way towards you, ready to ramble about the show but is brisked away by Rachel. He doesn’t even glance over at you after he’s taken away towards the hall.
Entering the dressing room where the rest of the boys sat, you saw Michael talking animatedly on the phone, Calum laying across the couch with an arm over his eyes, and Ashton wiping off excess sweat with a towel. He was the first one to notice you.
“Ready for that hug?” he asks as you approach him.
“Why not.”
You hug each other, smiling as you pulled away. In the distance, over the cool-down music, you hear Luke’s laughter in the hall. Knowing he’s with Rachel makes you wonder if she’s told him about her suspicions, and that thought alone makes you clam up all over again.
Ashton immediately notices, tilting his head as he asks you what’s wrong.
“Nothing,” you quickly reply, eyes focusing on him.
He notices how jittery you seem, but he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he says nothing.
“Guys,” Andy comes in with his camera in hand, “we need to take a few photos.”
The three agree and follow the photographer out. You move to the snack table for a bottle of water, but before you can take a sip, someone clears their throat in the doorway.
You roll your eyes immediately because you know who it is. You don’t pay her any attention and instead take the sip of water you need.
“We need to finish that conversation you oh-so rudely ended,” Rachel moves into the room, keeping her voice down as she crosses her arms.
“We don’t need to finish anything.”
She scoffs, “I asked you a question, and you were so quick to avoid it. I think you’re proving a point.”
“What point?” you turn to look at her, “I know you don’t like me but I don’t know why, can we start with that?”
“Like I said before, I know you like Luke. He’s my boyfriend, and I don’t like how he’s close to you.”
“We grew up together,” you state, standing tall as you glare at her, “of course we’re going to be close.”
“Well I don’t like it,” she huffs.
You shake your head with a sigh, closing the lid to the bottle as you turn your back to her. You were getting angry at the fact that someone who didn’t know Luke as long as you did was hinting that you should stay away from him.
“Stop hanging out with him.”
A curt laugh escapes you before you can stop it, “Are you jealous of our friendship?”
“No,” she smirks, “but I know you’re jealous of our relationship.”
She’s right; you’re only a little jealous of their relationship, but it’s not something you want to risk your friendship with.
You open your mouth to defend yourself, but you’re caught off-guard when nothing comes out. The one opportunity to make her believe you don’t like her boyfriend and you can’t say anything.
Giving up with sinking shoulders, you glance at the door before looking back at her. Grimacing at her knowing smile, “How did you find out?”
She hums, “It was easy. I love him, so I know what it looks like to look at someone you love. You made it so obvious, I’m surprised no one else found out!”
You grit your teeth. You did your damn best to make sure no one, especially Luke or Rachel, know how you feel about him.
“I’m not intimidated by you,” she walks closer to you, arms uncrossing as her hands move to her hips, “but I won’t deny the fact that you and Luke have chemistry.”
“What will it take—” you place the bottle back on the table, “—for you to leave me alone?”
“Do the same to him.”
“What?”
“Leave him alone, unfriend him,” she shrugs, “simple as that.”
“That’s ridiculous,” you walk around her to the door, ready to end the conversation.
“Do that or I’ll tell him,” with a harsh tone she walks towards you, grabbing your arm to stop you from walking.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Okay,” another voice from the doorway makes the two of you jump, “that’s enough.”
Ashton walks into the room, grabbing Rachel’s hand and removing it from your arm.
“W—” she stutters out as she watches the tall man move to stand in front of you.
“I came back for my drumsticks—” his eyes shift to the object sticking out of his bag before dropping down to Rachel, “—but instead I find you, what, threatening a good friend of ours?”
Rachel is speechless while you’re frozen. It was embarrassing enough for one person to find out about your crush on Luke, but now Ashton might know and you want to go into hiding.
“Let it go,” you tug on Ashton’s shirt to get his attention but he doesn’t move.
“Telling someone who’s known your boyfriend longer than your relationship to just abandon him is low, Rachel. Don’t think the way you’ve been treating our friends has gone unnoticed.”
You hear more footsteps approaching the room, and now you wish the ground can swallow you up. You don’t want all this attention on you.
“What’s happening here?” Michael says as he peeks into the room, Luke behind him as Calum leans against the other side of the doorway.
“Nothing—,” Rachel tries to deflect but with four pairs of eyes on her, it becomes too much. Tears start pouring out, and you’re in disbelief.
How can she be the one crying after she was the one who was rude to you?
Luke immediately rushes in, creating a beeline right to her side to wrap her in his arms.
His eyes dart to yours, an emotion on his face of something you’ve never seen, but you know it’s not good.
“What did you do?”
You’re taken back by his tone and the way his angry eyes stare you down. It hurts because instead of staying neutral and finding out what exactly happened, he immediately chose a side: a side of someone he’s known for only for a short amount of time.
“Mate,” Ashton speaks up for you, “I think you’re asking the wrong person that.”
“No,” Luke’s voice raises, eyes moving from yours to stare into his band mate’s, “I’m asking the right person.”
You swallow the lump in your throat, your eyes welling with tears as the weight of everything happening within the last ten minutes starts to bring you down. Your eyes move away from the ones boring into yours, and with a tremble in your voice, “I didn’t do anything. She’s the one who started—.”
“Bullshit!” Luke’s roar cuts you off, “Absolute bullshit, because if she started it, then why is she the only one crying?!”
The two other guys move in to the room to mediate the situation.
“Luke, calm down,” Michael’s hands raise to the motion of ‘calm down’ as he tries to get Luke’s attention.
“There’s gotta be more to the story,” Calum moves to your side, checking on you briefly.
“Don’t,” Luke states as he watches Calum grab your shoulders to move you out of the room.
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Ashton questions. He watches Luke soothingly rub Rachel’s back, wiping her tears with his free hand.
“My girlfriend is crying and you two were the only ones in here,” Luke replies, gently grabbing Rachel’s arms so he can look directly into her eyes, “what happened, babe?”
“I asked them—,” Rachel sniffles, continuing her façade, “—if they needed any help cleaning the room earlier and they yelled at—at me and told me to go away. Then after the show when you guys went for your photos, I came here to apologize to her, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.”
She was selling it; the tears, the sniffling, the stutters, and hiccups. A great actress who knows what she wants.
“That’s not true,” you inhale, your ears feeling warm and ringing, “she has had a problem with me lately and I don’t know why!”
Luke scoffs, shaking his head, wrapping Rachel in his arms again.
“C’mon,” Michael mumbles, wanting to leave the room.
Ashton turns around, watching your face go from pleading to blank as the tears fall from your eyes. He turns his head to face Luke, “You’re unbelievable,” he grabs your shoulders and starts to move you out of the room, “let’s go.”
Michael is already out of the room, the tension too much for him and ruining the after-show vibe. Calum is waiting by the door ready to help lead you out. Ashton has you turned around, pushing you towards the door.
“Wait, Luke,” you mumble, getting out of Ashton’s hold and turning back to face Luke.
He doesn’t look at you, sighing as he rubs Rachel’s head as it’s against his chest.
“Please,” you plead, begging him to look at you and when he does, you ask, “who do you believe?”
“What?”
“Who do you believe, Luke,” you gulp with a sniffle, “me or her?”
For a moment, you think you see hesitation. His jaw tenses as he stares you down, his best friend for years and someone he turned to when times got tough. He then looks down at the girl in his arms, someone he loves crying into his chest.
He sighs again, this time soft, before looking up to meet your eyes. He does notice the tears, the pain etched on your face as his other best friends watch them. “I believe Rachel.”
“This is fucking stupid,” Ashton mutters as he gently grabs your shoulders again to lead you out of the room.
You let the tears fall freely, not meeting any of the boys’ eyes as you kept your head face down.
You’ve lost your best friend. He chose someone else over you, a lie he chose to believe.
Whatever it was that made you catch feelings for your best friend, you wish you can find it and destroy it, along with any other memory you’ve made with him. After tonight, you want him erased from your cherished memories.
---
part two!
196 notes · View notes
yelenayena · 3 years
Text
Sweet Candy
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Pairing: Yelena x Fem!reader
Genre: Romance, fluff, modern AU
A/N: This story is a little bit longer, so I suggest you bring your fav beverage, play your fav songs, and enjoy your free time this weekend by fantasizing about Yelena 💕 Suddenly I wanna make a tsundere Yelena, and I think I love every side of Yelena. I gave the title Sweet Candy bc between you and Yelena are really sweet like a candy 🥺 💕 I hope you like it, and I hope you understand my English because I’m poor at grammar hehe.
Summary: Your apartment was on fire, your best friend, Zeke, couldn't help you bc he wanted to fix his relationship with his gf. He insisted you stay in Yelena’s house for a while. After you stayed in Yelena’s house for weeks, on Valentine's Day, Yelena did something that opens up your mind and changed your life forever!
Warning: Explicit Content!
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You just started your first year in university. You decided to study abroad, because your childhood friend, Zeke, had already come and being an international student, and that was inspired you as you saw his student life looked so interesting.
A couple of months ago you came to the same university as Zeke, and only a few days ago you got an unpleasant event when your apartment was on fire. So today, Zeke told you to come to his best friend’s house to stay in their home for a while.
You have just arrived at Zeke's friend's house, and you are standing in front of the door. On the third knock, the door opened. The tall-ass blonde, the one who opened the door, looked at you suspiciously.
By ignoring her expression, you smiled widely. “Hi! You must be Yelena! I’m Y/N, nice to meet ya!”
Before she responded to your words, you stepped into her house. “Wow! Your house is so lovely!”
Yelena’s eyes widened as you came into her house. “I’m sorry, but who the hell are you?” She asked with an annoyed tone.
You turned your body around to look at her, “Ah! Zeke hasn't told you yet?” You threw yourself on the couch, “I’m sorry for coming to your house so suddenly without prior notice, but in my condition, I also have no choice. So he asked me to come to your house, and he will give you further details later.”
She stared at you with a gaze full of confusion. You smiled nervously, “I’m sorry but I’m really bad at explaining.”
She held her index finger to her temple, “just hold a sec!” She brought and placed you in front of the door then she closed it.
You sighed and smiled sadly. You can understand her conduct, however, you are just a stranger to her. You sat on the step in front of her house, waiting and thinking, if she refuses you, maybe you have to find another motel or guest house nearby to campus.
In the house. Yelena grabbed her phone on the desk and called Zeke. On the third ring, Zeke picked up the call.
“ZEKE! What the hell did you do to me?!” She said indignantly.
“I meant to call you. So, she must have arrived at your house?” he asked.
Even though she knew Zeke wouldn’t see her face, she still nodded her head. “Uh-huh! And why the fuck she came to my house?! I mean, who the hell is she??
Yelena can hear Zeke sighed, “Yelena, listen. Y/N is my hometown friend, my grandmother even considered her as her own grandchild and I considered her as my lil’ sister. She studied in the same university as us. But unfortunately, her apartment was on fire the day before yesterday, it was on the news, you knew it, right?
“I immediately brought her to my place when it happened. She only had me in this city because she hasn’t had many friends in her department. She slept in my place last night, but my girlfriend was really upset when she saw Y/N in my apartment.
“You know my relationship was on the rocks, so it’s hard for my girlfriend to believe that Y/N is just my friend. So please, accept her in your house until she finds a new apartment, or until my girlfriend believes me and allows her to stay in my apartment. Okay?” he explained.
“It's so sudden,” Yelena replied.
“Please, I'm begging you. I'm so worried about her, she had no luck in her life, so you're the one I can trust to help her,” Zeke pleaded.
“Does she really have no relatives or friends here?”
“No, she only had me. You know we’re foreign students. She just started her first year in our university. I can’t let her stay in her new friends’ house, I ain’t trusting them. I really want to help her but unfortunately, I can’t help her right now because I wanna fix my relationship with my girlfriend, I’m screwed without her. You owed me so it’s time to repay the favor by allowing Y/N to stay in your house for a while. I promise she won't do such annoying things during her stay. She’s a good girl.”
Yelena sighed, “fine! I’ll allow her to stay in my house JUST for a while.”
“I know I can count on you!” Said Zeke happily.
“I told you, I can’t blame your girlfriend because you fucked every girl you met before you dated her. So take your responsibility and be a good man! I’m out!” Yelena turned off her phone.
When Yelena opened the door, she saw you walk through the yard to leave her house. “Hey! Wait!” She shouted.
You turned your head immediately when you heard her voice.
“I just called Zeke and- you can stay here for a while,” she said.
You smiled happily, “really?!” She nodded. You’re walking toward her and hugging her. “Thank you!”
Yelena looked awkward, “whoa- whoa- what is it for?”
“It’s my habit to hug someone when I’m happy,” you answered. “And- this is the reason why Zeke’s girlfriend was upset when she came to his place and she saw me hug him,” you continued, speaking more to yourself than to Yelena.
But Yelena can still hear your voice, she let out a long sigh, “the two of you really are weirdos! Come in!”
This time, Yelena lets you come to her house. And since today, you’ll stay in her house together. You told your story about the fire in your apartment and when Zeke brought you to his apartment until his girlfriend came over. You convinced her that you won’t stay long in her house until you find a new apartment. You believed Zeke so much, so when he insisted that you have to stay in Yelena’s house, you obeyed him without question. If Zeke believes Yelena, so you believe her as well.
She lets you sleep in the guest room. You asked her how much you have to pay for the room, but she refused it and told you it was just for a while so you don’t have to pay her except you paid yourself for a meal.
You stayed in Yelena’s house for almost a week. You thought she was a little bit cocky with an unfriendly attitude, but she is just a straightforward person with an expressionless face. She's nice actually, at least she still lets you stay in her house until now because you discovered difficulties to find a new apartment. People might consider her as a male because of her masculine figure, and she is a very tall woman with a height of six feet three inches. For you, she’s the perfect figure for the androgynous look, she look pretty and handsome at the same time. Her hair is blonde in a short bob with straight bangs, and it suits her well. You bet she’s pretty famous among girls or boys.
Even so, you found that her friends are just Zeke and Onyankopon, a cool and nice black guy. You found out quickly because she rarely hangs out with other friends except for Zeke and Onyankopon, but she's good at negotiating with others. You often see her talking on the phone with her business partner, and in the end, she smiled with satisfaction and told you that she reached an advantageous deal. She’s also an ambitious person.
Yeah, she’s a third-year business student just like Zeke, so she often gets the assignments for making a brand or a start-up from her lecturers. Well, maybe now you can be her new good friend, you’re a friendly and funny person, so it’s not hard for you to get along with her.
“What the hell are you doing in the kitchen for hours??” Yelena asked you on the phone. You can hear the class ambiance behind her voice.
“How did you know?” you asked.
“You didn't realize? I’ve been watching you from the CCTV in every corner of my house. Even when you did some silly movements in front of the TV to workout,” she explained.
You turned your head to the upper corner where the CCTV hangs. You looked at that with surprise. How can you not realize that there are many CCTVs in her house, and she's been watching you all the time!
“You! You're a sly peeper!”
She chuckled, “my house, my rule. So what are you up to?”
“I’m making chocolate. Valentine's Day is almost coming, so I wanna make delicious chocolate for my crush. Don't worry, I'll clean up the kitchen when I’m done.”
“Chocolate? That sucks! Why are you in such a hurry? It's still a week 'till Valentine's Day.”
You rolled your eyes, “as you know, I suck at cooking, so I need to learn to make un chocolat parfait.”
“Ah! And I still remember how horrible an omelet you made!” her tone was almost mocking.
“I know you're really good at cooking, but please don't be so mean to me.”
She laughed slightly, “okay. Do what you want. Bye.”
You thought you would be able to make perfect chocolate for your crush instantly, but it’s not that easy! Luckily, Yelena was kind enough to permit you to use her kitchen often. Although she’s good at cooking, she can't help you to give you some advice to make chocolate because she hates sweets. You practice almost every day until the V day comes, and efforts won’t betray you, you did your best to make beautiful and delicious chocolate.
“Finally-” you said while straightening your back and stretching your aching muscles, feeling incredibly relieved. Today is Valentine’s day, now you can go to college before the morning class starts, and give this beautiful chocolate you made to a Mister Perfect.
“You did it?” asked Yelena, you saw her standing on the stairway in the kitchen, still wearing her pajamas. And she stepped down to the floor.
“I did it!” you said happily. You looked at the wristwatches, “and I can go to the morning class on time. How could I've been awesome with that! Ah, I bought savory croissants you like and made hot coffee on the dining table. It's just a little reward for letting me use your kitchen, and as a valentine's gift.” You smiled and winked at her.
For the first time, she looked at you with eyes that sparkled. She smiled slightly, “thanks- So, when are you going to give that chocolate to the unlucky guy?”
You smiled at her, sometimes, she can be an innocent, sarcastic woman. “Perhaps, during lunchtime. He’s a second-year student in the Political Sciences Department, and he’s the coolest guy I’ve ever met on campus. When he puts on his football uniform, he's even cooler!” you said full of joy while imagining your crush’s face.
She rolled her eyes, “I don't give a shit. Besides, giving chocolate to the boys on Valentine’s Day is kinda old fashioned. Why don't you give him a bouquet or a concert ticket?”
“I- I don't know. Isn't that something men always do?”
She clucked her tongue, “it’s women’s emancipation.”
“You're right!” you said eagerly. “Chocolate and flowers! That's cool! I’ll buy flowers for him, too! Thank you, Yelena, you're brilliant!” and you left her to go to campus.
In the late afternoon, it’s a beautiful day at the end of winter, the warmth of the sun is still accompanying people on the outside.
It’s valentine’s day, a day full of love. But all you can feel is the cold wind in your heart, the day gets grey, and pain haunts you. You remembered all the hurtful things he said to you, you feel so rejected by him. It really hurts when you expect so much more from a person you once liked so much. You’ve liked him ever since the first day of college.
Love can sometimes be magic but magic can sometimes just be an illusion. Before you realize it, the tears stream down your face. You walked so slow in Yelena’s neighborhood.
You heard the horn behind you. “Ayo, Taffy! Walking to my house?” That’s Yelena with her car, driving very slowly to follow your steps.
You turned your head to her. She looked at you with a surprise, “Hey, you okay?”
“I- I’m okay,” you said sobbing.
Without asking you first, she scrambled out of the car, and put you in the front passenger seat of the car, and got behind the wheel.
“What happened?” she asked gently.
You cried harder when she asked that. Moments later, you told her your story when you got a raw rejection from your crush. “He even called me fat and I'm not his type. I mean, I’m okay with his ridicule, it's a fact after all. But when he mocked my chocolate, that's when I felt hurt. Anyhow, it was my hard work you even helped me make it,” and you cried again.
“I did nothing, you made it yourself with love,” she said and she turned her vehicle around.
“Where are you going?” you asked.
“I’m going to give that motherfucker a lesson.”
“You- WHAT?”
“Gimme his location!”
“Yelena- No! Turn around your car! Let's just go home.”
She gazed at you in silence for a while, “just shut the fuck up and keep your seat belt fastened!” she spoke firmly.
In the end, you just let her drive to the university yard where your crush and his friends are hanging around. Yelena insisted on giving him a lesson. Your heart raced when you saw her walk through the yard and stepped closer to the table where your crush sat.
Your crush stopped laughing when she stood in front of him, it also gave his friends in silence and looked at her in confusion. “Ayo! Rough guy!” She greeted him with a condescending tone.
“Who the hell are you, tomboy?” he asked her.
“Nobody, just a courier. I delivered a package for you,” she showed him a chocolate box and a bouquet.
“Ah, that’s from Y/N, huh? Take back, I ain't gonna need that. If I take that shit, I’m afraid that fatty would think I will accept her feelings.”
Yelena spat on the ground, “you know I was relieved I never dated a guy, and the guy I hate the most is the guy like you. You're more gay than I am, y’know? Before you mocked her, look at yourself in the mirror whether you're better than her or not! You think you're perfect, huh?”
Yelena threw the flowers and the chocolate on your crush’s face. Her hands in the fluid movement to deliver precisely aimed blows to a startled opponent.
“What the fuck!” He shouted out in shock. Getting rid of the flowers on his face and the chocolate stains off his jacket.
“Take that, you motherfucker! You should've respected her! It shows her love and hard work!” Yelena grunted, “but at least I’m relieved she wouldn't fall for an asshole like you again.” And she left him without waiting for his response.
You watched what Yelena did to him far behind, and it gives you a new perspective that you adore her so much.
“Thank you,” you said gently when you and she sat in the car.
“For what?”
“For everything. Why are you so kind to me? I mean, I am the one who often troubles you, but you still want to add a new enemy, because of me. I’ve seen everything you’ve done to him, and I really appreciate it.” You laughed strangely, “you were very rude to him, but I think he deserved it.
She grunted, “that son of a bitch deserves worse. Why do you think I'm doing this to you?” She looked at you seriously with her deep voice.
You find it difficult to answer. In silence, you looked at each other. You felt an odd feeling when you looked into her big beautiful eyes. You felt captivated by the look in her eyes, so you couldn't move your body when you realized her body moved closer to yours as she tried to kiss you.
As though conscious of what she was about to do, she stopped and sat up straight again. She cleared her throat awkwardly, “and the only one who can make fun of you is me.” She stared at the last small chocolate box on your lap. “Oh, there’s one more.”
“Yup, there is. Don’t worry, I’ll throw away this thing.”
She grabbed the small box immediately, “don’t! I’ll eat it.”
“What? Don't you hate sweets?”
“It’s okay if it's your make,” she eats a piece of chocolate you made. “Umm- not bad, ” she smiled slightly after she finished eating, then she turned the engine on.
After the incident on Valentine’s day, you can't look at her in the same way again, you felt confused about your feelings towards her. You thought she was just your friend, but now you realized you want her more than just a friend. You don't want to ruin your friendship with her, you need to find a new apartment as soon as possible no matter how to keep a distance from her and reset unnecessary feelings.
Luckily, you got a new apartment so you can leave Yelena’s house. Yelena and Zeke helped you pack the stuff and decorate your new room. After those busy days, you can finally enjoy your free time in your new apartment, all alone. And it gives you extra time to prioritize your revenge plan, once you've accepted the insult of the guy you liked. And a wise man said the best revenge is to improve yourself.
On the other hand, you wouldn't believe how much Yelena missed you. She felt empty when she stayed alone, she missed your presence in her house. She once got so annoyed by your noisy existence, but now she really wants to hear all your ridiculous babbling. When she thought of you, she smiled slightly, she didn't believe she could fall for a silly girl like you. Silly but sweet.
Since when did this feeling grow in her heart? She didn't know. Little thing she knew, you're the sweetest, most sincere girl she's ever met. Sometimes she wishes you could open your heart to a girl like her, but she doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable if she expresses any romantic interest in you. To get rid of all her thoughts about you, she occupied herself with the project the lecturer gave her. It is funny, you two are mutually interested in each other, but you two are too afraid to express your feelings.
Time flies so fast. Spring break is over. You are ready to open a new chapter of your life in this warm spring. You were viral by the rejection video of your crush to you, it was a nightmare because everyone recognizes you with something you don't want to be. But now, everyone on campus is amazed by the change you made to yourself. And the best thing is, your crush seems regretful that he has rejected and said something cruel to you. Now, you have some respect from others.
“Wow, I heard an issue that you're now some big news and one of the hotties in this university.”
You heard a familiar voice when you walked alone in the park near your faculty building. You frowned at your face and turned around your body, your eyes widened as you saw a big-beauty blonde standing behind you.
“Long time no see and, look at you, you've changed a lot! Now you've become- a Barbie doll? Eww! You look more ugly than before when you still have those fats in your body,” she continued.
You chuckled, “we’ve lived together under the same roof for almost three weeks, and I got your own dictionary. When you say no, it means yes. So when you say I’m ugly, it means I’m pretty?”
“Jesus, no! I tell the truth, I swear, the new you is ugly.”
“I, I just wanna love myself more by changing my lifestyle to make it healthier,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Whatever. I rather like your old appearance because now you’re a little conscious. Many morons will steal glances at you.”
“What?”
She sighed heavily, “something that didn’t change in you is you still slow like a sloth! Then, I’m leaving!”
“Hey, wait!” You grabbed her long arm to hold her step, “it’s unfair you come and go like a fart!”
Just one touch from you gives her a magical sensation. She then grabbed your hands and pulled your body to get closer to hers.
“I miss you so much! I can’t even stop thinking about you once you leave my house,” she hoarsely whispered.
She bent over you and kissed you. You were shocked by her sudden act, but her kiss is pure, fresh, and thirst-quenching. You felt her stiffening in surprise when you kissed her back, then she continued to insert her tongue into your mouth and moved wildly to play with yours. You two now are kissing so passionately, feeling the burn by the lust of each other.
“So this means, we’re stepping to the next level” she asked with a broad smile on her face. She looked happy.
You smiled mischievously, “what do you think?”
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I think Yelena is the type who can make a straight girl gay. Who can ignore this big-beauty-badass bae 🥵🥵
My fav quotes from Yelena in this story 💕
Yelena to your crush: “...I was relieved I never dated a guy, and the guy I hate the most is a guy like you. You're gayer than I am, y’know?”
[she acted like a gentleman 🥰]
Sweet moments with Yelena 💕
Yelena to you: “Why do you think I'm doing this to you?”
[and you two were looked at each other until she tried to kiss you but she stopped it 😔]
You to Yelena: “Yup. I’ll throw away this thing.”
Yelena to you: “Don’t! I’ll eat it.”
You to Yelena: “Don’t you hate sweets?”
Yelena to you: “It’s okay if it’s your make.”
[then she ate your chocolate even she hates sweets 🥺]
100 notes · View notes
keytomythoughts · 3 years
Text
Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1
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Chapter Index 
»»—————————————- 
Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 
I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.
(Binnie)
R u still on the train?
                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins
(Eunuwu) 
Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?
                                                                                                                      Funny
                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it
(Binnie)
:/
What about Jaehyun?
                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh
                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit
(Eunuwu)
Damn, rough
                                                                                                                        Mhm
(Binnie)
Try talking to them, u never know
They might change their minds?
                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end
                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream
(Eunuwu)
Doesn't sound so bad
(Binnie)
¬_¬
(Eunuwu)
Except for the crying part ofc
But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad
I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice
(Binnie)
U’ve been to her house??
                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too
(Binnie)
Righttt forgot lol
                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere
                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal
(Binnie)
That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna
But hey we should all hang soon!
(Eunuwu)
I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?
                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(
                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then
(Binnie)
Aww I miss u toooo 
(Eunuwu)
*puke*
                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous
(Eunuwu)
Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?
Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already
And personality 0:)
                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single
(Binnie)
LOLL
She got u there bro
(Eunuwu)
Shut up
Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf
Idiot
(Binnie)
At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 
                                                                                             See? My point exactly
                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy
                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker
(Binnie)
He made a couple of em cry I heard
                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?
                                                                                                                         YAH
                                                                                                               U MORON
(Eunuwu)
Bin wtf
(Binnie)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??
                                                                                              Those poor girls omg
                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u
(Binnie)
Me 2
(Eunuwu)
Wtf?? Y???
(Binnie)
No reason lol, just feel like it
                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie
(Binnie)
:D <3
(Eunuwu)
GROSS
                                                                                                        Can it u demon
                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM
I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 
Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 
That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 
Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 
Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  
My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.
“What?” 
He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”
I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”
“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”
“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”
He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 
There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”
“Yeah, give or take.” 
I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 
“What, you miss me?”
He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 
“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”
“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”
“Shut up.”
I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.
“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”
I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”
“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”
“Oppa!”
Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   
He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.
As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.
God knows where I’d be sent to now.
***
“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 
That’s my stop.
Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 
Four long years away from Seoul...
Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.
It sure as hell feels good to be back home.
I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.
“Hyuna, over here!”
I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”
He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 
Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.
He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”
I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”
He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.
“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 
I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.
“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”
At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 
“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 
“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 
What can I say? It’s a talent. 
He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.
“Welcome home, sis.”
I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 
“Good to be back,” I whisper. 
We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 
He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”
“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.
“Can I—”
“No.”
“Please—”
“Nope.”
I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 
“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”
Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.
With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.
My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  
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fanfics4all · 4 years
Text
Behind The Mask
Request: Yes / No Could you do a Flash x fem! Reader, where R has had a crush on Barry for years but he’s already with someone, at a town masquerade, she goes in disguise and takes a new name, to which she and Barry end up sleeping together that night and she leaves early so he doesn’t find out but one day he finds the mask in her closet and he argues with her about and leaves to go his gf’s birthday party meanwhile she overdoes on ecstasy drugs and when he comes back to apologize, he finds her and that she’s-That she’s pregnant and she’s in a coma and it’s months and she only comes out of it when the baby is out and you can decide the ending, fluffy or angst, either works Anon
Requests are open <3 Have a nice day/night
Barry Allen x Fem!Reader
Word count: 2495
Warnings: SMUT! Overdosing, and a little bit of cursing 
Y/N: Your Name 
Y/N/N: Your Nick Name
PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 
If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 
Masterlist 
(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)
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I’ve been in love with my best friend forever. Barry Allen was always there for me and he just always wanted to help people. The only problem was that he was taken by a girl he met in Jitters. I couldn’t help myself from feeling jealous. Here he was with a girl he hardly knew, meanwhile I was here hopelessly in love with him. We had so much in common and we got along great. I should have told him that I love him sooner… 
The police department was having a masquerade ball and the whole city was invited. I of course wanted to go because I love dancing. I went out and got a long black and blue dress, matched it with my silver heels, my Mother’s earrings, and a silver mask. I curled and did two small braids in the back for my hair. For makeup, I did a black, blue, and silver smokey eye and paired it with a dark purplish grey lip.
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 I walked into the party and spotted Barry from a mile away. He was always easy to spot. I noticed his girlfriend wasn’t with him and I smiled slightly. Maybe tonight was the night. No! Get that out of your head Y/N! He’s taken and you can’t change that… I decided I needed a drink. A strong one. I walked over to the bar and ended up downing a few drinks. That’s when someone walked up to me. 
“Are you alright?” He asked and I looked to see none other than Barry. My heart skipped a beat. 
“Yes, my date just skipped out on me.” I lied. What the hell was I doing? 
“That’s not right, he shouldn’t leave a pretty girl alone.” He said and I blushed. 
“I’m Barry.” He offered me his hand. 
“Samantha.” I said, taking his hand. 
“Well Samantha, would you like to dance?” He asked. 
“I would love to.” I smiled. This is wrong. A little voice inside my head said, but I ignored it. It was only one dance. Barry led me to the dance floor and he held me close. It was the perfect moment, like no one else but us were on that dance floor. 
After a few dances we ended up drinking a bit together. It seems like he got drunk pretty quick and was getting a little touchy. I should have stopped it, but I didn’t want to. 
“How about we go back to my place?” He asked and I bit my lip. 
“I’d love to.” I answered and he led me outside. We got an Uber and went to his place. As soon as we got up to his apartment and the door was closed, his lips were on mine. We were desperately pulling clothes off each other and he pulled me into his bedroom. He pushed me on the bed and he hovered over me. Our masks were still on and he went to pull it off, but I stopped him. 
“Wouldn’t it be more fun if we keep them on?” I asked and he smirked. 
“I like the way you think.” He said and started kissing my neck. My head fell back as he trailed kisses down to my chest. His hand found my wet pussy and I sighed as he gently caressed it. He traced my collarbone with his lips and I bit back a moan. He kissed all the way down to my pussy and started licking teasingly. He lapped hungrily at my pussy and I gripped the bed sheets. 
“Barry!” I moaned and he went faster, almost inhuman fast, but I thought that was just the alcohol tricking me. I moaned and bucked under his attack and I couldn’t stop the orgasm that came. I grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss, tasting myself on his lips. I pushed him back and slowly pushed my mouth onto his hard cock. I looked up at him as I worked his erection expertly. I was jerking what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. He was groaning and he gently wrapped his fingers in my hair. 
“I-I’m gonna cum!” He said between groans. I didn’t stop, I just kept on sucking and pumping his cock. He pulled me off and up to kiss me hard. He groped my breasts as his other hand explored my body. He flipped us so he was on stop without breaking the kiss. He paused as the tip of his cock pressed into my swollen lips. 
“Please.” I begged. I gasped as he pushed his full length into my tight pussy. I moaned loudly into his mouth. Slowly he began to pull out and pushed back in. He continued pumping his cock in and out of me as I gasped and moaned. 
“Yes Barry! Yes!” I moaned. He fucked me harder and faster, again almost inhuman fast. 
“Oh fuck! I’m so close!” I moaned. Barry didn’t stop. He continued ramming his cock into my pussy. Barry seemed to go even faster and I screamed as the orgasm crashed through my body. I bucked against him, riding out my oragsm. 
“Fuck!” Barry moaned and came inside me. Barry pulled out of me and he pulled me to cuddle into him. He passed out pretty quickly and everything hit me. I had just lied to my best friend and slept with him! He has a girlfriend! What the fuck did I just do? I quietly got up and dressed. I snuck out of his place and got an Uber to mine. 
It’s been three months since I spelt with Barry. I had said anything and neither has he. As the months went on I started feeling sick and I ended up taking a pregnancy test. I was pregnant and Barry was the only one that could be the father… 
“Hey Y/N/N, it’s been a while since we’ve hung out, wanna hang out before Izzy’s party?” Barry asked and I thought for a moment. 
“Yeah sure.” I answered, hoping it would hide the nervousness that I was feeling. 
“Your place? I’ll bring the pizza.” He asked and I nodded without thinking. 
“Sounds good.” I said and he smiled. 
“Great, I’ll see you in an hour.” He said and hung up. I didn’t really think about him finding the mask. There was no way he'd be able to. 
As promised he showed up an hour later with two pizzas. I let him in and smiled as he gave me a side hug. We went to my couch and Barry put on a musical we both love. The two of us were eating pizza and singing, it was perfect. 
“I’ll be right back.” He said and walked off to my room. 
“What are you doing?” I called. 
“Going to the bathroom!” He called back. 
“You know I have a bathroom in the hall right?” I called. 
“Yeah but you keep the best smelling soap in yours!” He called back and I rolled my eyes. 
“What a stupid reason.” I laughed. I was waiting for Barry to come back and when he did he didn’t look happy. 
“What’s wrong?” I asked, worried. 
“What the hell is this?” He asked, slamming the mask I wore to the masquerade party. My eyes widened and I tried so hard to think of a lie. 
“You were at the party Y/N, or should I call you Samantha?” He asked, clearly pissed. 
“I-I was drunk Barry! I didn’t know what I was doing!” I said with tears in my eyes. 
“You knew it was me and still let me do something so fucking stupid? I cheated on Izzy and I felt horrible! And it was fucking you this whole time!?” He growled. 
“I-I’m sorry Barry, I’m so sorry!” I cried. 
“I can’t believe you! I-I can’t even deal with this right now.” He said and stormed out of my place. My heart broke. I was sure Barry hated me now. I was such a horrible person. I didn’t even get to tell him that I was pregnant. No, that would only make things worse. I felt so overwhelmed with emotions that I couldn’t think straight. I ran to my bathroom and pulled out my anti-depressants that I haven’t had to use in a few years. As I walked out of my bathroom I noticed the molly that my friend left here so no one would find it. I stared down at the pill bottle in my hand and then at the molly. Fuck it. I grabbed a few tabs and dumped some pills into the same hand. I shoved them all in my mouth and took a big gulp of water, swallowing all the drugs. I wanted everything to stop. I laid down on my bed and shut my eyes, just waiting for the pain to end. 
Barry’s POV 
It’s been a day since I talked to Y/N, I was too angry at her. Why the hell would she do this? There was only one person I could talk to about this and that was Iris. So I went to her place and told her everything. 
“There you have it.” I said with a sigh. 
“Well she was drunk.” Iris said. 
“She knew it was me and used a fake name!” I said. 
“Well yeah, Barry Y/N had been in love with you forever and you’re too stupid to realize it. Her drunk mind probably didn’t want to ruin your friendship, but still just get one thing she wanted.” Iris said and I stared at her with wide eyes. 
“She loves me?” I questioned. 
“Yeah, you’re telling me you never noticed?” She asked and I shook my head. 
“You’re so oblivious.” Iris shook her head. 
“But I’m with Izzy…” I said. 
“Do you love Izzy?” She asked and I thought about it for a moment. 
“If you have to think about it, then you don’t.” She said after a minute. 
“Do you love Y/N?” She asked and I nodded. 
“See, no thought needed.” She said with a smirk. 
“Oh God, I have to tell her!” I said shooting up. Before I could run out my phone rang. 
“Hello?” I answered a number I didn’t recognize. 
“Is this Barry Allen?” A woman asked. 
“Yes, who is this?” I asked, confused. 
“I’m a nurse at Central City Hospital, your number was on Y/N Y/L/N’s emergency contact list.” She said. 
“What? Is she alright?” I asked and Iris looked at me worried. 
“She’s in a coma, she overdosed on MDMA and antidepressants. We managed to save her and the baby-” 
“Baby?” I cut her off. 
“Yes, would you like to come see her and fill out some paperwork for us?” She asked. 
“I’ll be right there.” I said and hung up. 
“What’s happening? What’s this talk about a baby?” Iris asked. 
“Y/N’s in the hospital, she overdosed and she’s pregnant…” I said and her eyes widened. 
“What? Is she alright?” She asked. 
“She’s in a coma and they said the baby’s okay.” I said. 
“You need to go!” Iris said and pushed me to the door. I nodded and ran. I made it to the hospital quickly and a nurse told me what room she was in. She gave me some paperwork to fill out and I went into Y/N’s room. She was laying in bed with her eyes closed with needles and tubes poking her body. I looked down at her stomach and you could see a small bump starting to form. I sat down and looked at her in shock. Why would she do this? Did she know she was pregnant? Was this because of me? I started filling out the paperwork and a nurse came in. 
“Do you happen to know who the Father is? We would like to contact him.” She asked. 
“I’m not sure, but it’s possibly mine…” I answered and her eyes widened slightly. 
“Oh, well we can do a DNA test now if you would like.” She said and I looked at Y/N. 
“Will it hurt her or the baby?” I asked.
“Not at all.” She answered with a smile. 
“In that case, please.” I said and she nodded. 
“I’ll be back in a bit with the supplies.” She said and left. When she returned she took blood from the both of us and said that I should get the results soon. 
I ended up breaking up with Izzy and visited Y/N everyday. I watched her belly grow with my child. The results confirmed it. She was pregnant with my baby. I wanted her to wake up so I can tell her how sorry I was for pushing her to this point. 
Y/N’s POV
I woke up to crying. It was a baby’s cry. I groaned as I sat up and looked around. I was in the hospital? Why? I noticed Barry holding a crying baby. 
“Barry?” I asked, confused. He looked over at me with wide eyes. 
“Y/N? Oh my God!” He said. He put the baby down and came to my side. 
“You’re awake!” He said. 
“What happened?” I asked. 
“You overdosed and you’ve been in a coma for months.” He said and my eyes widened. 
“What?” I asked shocked. 
“And you had this little guy.” Barry smiled and picked up the baby again. I stared at this little boy in shock. 
“W-What?” I asked with tears in my eyes. 
“They've been bugging me for a name, it’s been two weeks since he was born.” He said. That’s when everything hit me and I started to cry. 
“I’m so sorry Barry! I’m so sorry!” I said and Barry put my baby down. He gathered me in his arms and kissed my head. 
“Hey, it’s okay. Everything’s okay.” He said. 
“How can you say that? I lied to you! I’m the worst person!” I cried. 
“No you’re not. I’m an idiot for not seeing that you’re in love with me.” He said and I looked up at him. 
“And I know he’s my son.” He added and I bit my lip. 
“I’m sorry Barry, I-” I was cut off by Barry’s lips on mine. I melted into the kiss, but we pulled apart when our son started crying again. 
“I think this little guy wants his Mommy.” He said picking up our son and placing him in my arms. He instantly stopped crying and I smiled down at him. 
“Hey little one.” I whispered and kissed his head. 
“What do you want to name him?” Barry asked. 
“W-What about Henry?” I asked and Barry’s smile grew. 
“It’s perfect.” Barry whispered and pecked my lips. 
“What about Izzy?” I asked and bit my lip. 
“I broke up with her when Iris helped me realize that I love you too.” He answered and I couldn’t hold back my smile. 
“I love you too Y/N.” He said and kissed me again. 
Tag list: @les-bio-lie​ @tashy-bear​ @ashwarren32​ @hollie-blogs​ @schisbro87​ @lover-of-books-and-teas​ @nerdygaloresposts​ @teenwolfbitches2​ @genius2050​ @drw0301bieber​ @softgamerking​ @lady-of-lies​ @ravenmoore14​ @ravenempress101​ @cillianchamp​ @rowanthomasknapp​ @flashettewrites
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ddp456 · 3 years
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My retirement
Hey, all.
Boy, um, I’m sure that title is kind of a shocker, so I’ll do my best to explain myself.  And stop me if you’ve heard this story before (or should I say, these stories before).
I created a surplus of materials and examples to go by when making a Gravity Falls/Wendy and Dipper story in the same fashion that I do.  But in my heart of hearts, I can tell you all that the souls of these stories, the thing that everyone seems to tell me makes them so real, are based upon three real people.
I grew up a lot like Dipper did.  I was a smart kid, but not that smart.  I was the one everyone pointed at as a freak.  The weirdo of the class.  The smelly kid.  I had friends; not a lot of them, but in most cases, time and distance separated us, or I drove them away of my own accord.  I won’t excuse it by saying I was different; a lot of my pain I caused myself.  I would be lying if I said I had proper guidance as well.  I couldn’t tell you how many regrets I have.
But as I got older, I met someone special; someone different.  They didn’t treat me the same as everyone else.  I couldn’t tell you if it was out of pity, or perhaps, they were able to see something that other people couldn’t.  And I appreciated it.  To be honest, I loved them for that.
“Love,” I know, is a really strong word.  It’s probably the most overused and misused word presented by most of civilization, and the majority of mass media.  To me, love means to cherish, to want to protect, to wish no harm upon, and if possible, take the blunt of any blow wishing to do so.
I like a lot of people.  I love a whole lot less, if that makes sense.
Even as I write this, I do not claim for this to be the correct way of looking at things; I can only tell you the way I saw things at the time.
Such is why I chose to hide my true feelings for the longest time.  For all of the healing and solace this person gave to me, the very last thing I wanted for them was to be the monster’s mate.  Unfortunately, my private life wasn’t too much better.  It was like there was no safe haven I could provide.
Above all things, I didn’t want them to hate me for that.
Then, as always, fate played its hand.  The good spark in my life was whisked away and I was forced to deal the rest of the world.  But after the lot of a new series of battles and worries, something amazing happened.  That little spark was reintroduced into my life.
But I was still afraid; afraid of the new monsters that would use this person to try to hurt me; afraid of a home life that wouldn’t accept them with open arms.  I wanted to get closer so very much, but kept them at a safe distance.
That is, until fate struck again.
Pinned up against the wall, at the very last moment I’d believed I’d have with said person, I confessed everything.
Kinda makes you think of a certain two dorks locked in an underground bunker, doesn’t it?
They say with age, comes wisdom, and upon looking back, I understand my youthful folly.  I shouldn’t have lied everything at their feet and expect a positive response.  They were shocked by my admission, as they had their own feelings and hopes and dreams and heart’s desires.
I believed, because of my fear, I was too late.  If I were honest from the beginning, maybe, it might have made a difference.
Despite of the distance and my own hardships, I tried my best to stay in touch with my friend.  A lot of times, it was for the better.  And a ton of times, it made things a jillion times worse.  And I’ll admit; it was my fault.  I let my own loneliness get the best of me.  The very last thing I ever wanted to do was to creep someone out.  Maybe that’s why it bugs me so much when someone jokingly says that about poor Dipper.
In the future, I would apologize for reaching out, only to have a welcome hand on my shoulder in return.  “I’m really glad you did.”
As time passed, we did grow closer; not always in the ways I hoped, but I’d be fibbing if I said I didn’t enjoy it.  We were constant valentines.  They were my first real date; my first real kiss. I’d have calls waiting for me instead of me doing the chasing.  For the first time in a very long time, I thought things were getting better.
But once again, fate would have its way...
Even after all these years, I question: how is it that upon telling a loved one that you must part ways (again), they become so upset that they strike you and demand why things are the way they are, if they do not care?
(For the record, kids.  You should NEVER let a S.O. hit you no matter what.  After all, don’t want to leave a bad example on the way out)
Part of me will always wonder if this is what made things sour between us; that eventually, I became another person that would always let them down, regardless if it were my fault or not.
Little did I know that behind their mild exterior, lived a wild heart that craved adventure and excitement.  A group of rowdy and unpredictable friends were more than eager to help scratch that itch.  I would be told incredible tales of mischief and wonder and mayhem.  And if I were honest, I would say part of me was jealous.  I wished it was just us having the adventures. I wish we could have spend the day together at an arcade.  Or a carnival.
I’ll say something else I never admitted before.  This person has told me countless times in our lives that I was their hero.  The truth is that there were several times in my life were I considered them my hero.  They were brave and independent and smart-on-their-feet and pretty much everything I wasn’t but wanted to be.
And beneath all that, there was a person who was embarrassed to be sensitive and “weak” and wanted to cry.  At that time, I cherished that person more than anything in this world.
Then, I heard about the other stories: the “close-calls.”  And that led me to believe that there would come a time where my loved one would go off on one of these wild adventures and never come back.
I wasn’t too far off.  I’ll spare you all the rest of the details.
As I said earlier, I like a lot of people, but I love even fewer.  So, it was a really long time before I could feel the same way about someone as I did before.  In the middle of all of this, I accidentally stumbled upon a show on cable called Gravity Falls, and found a kindred spirit with the male lead, Dipper Pines.
Even more so, I saw parallel lines between my personal plight and that involving Dipper and his crush, Wendy.  And while Wendy shares the same adventurous appetite as my loved one, that’s pretty much where their similarities end.
And poor Dipper, man.  Oh, the internet was just brutal to that kid.  “Robbie is the victim?”  Get outta here with that garbage.  It was the same crap I’ve heard half my life.
As I explored the GF fandom, I noticed a lot of the best Wendy/Dipper works came from fanfiction. (Thanks google!)  And I found my inspiration for stories of my own.  I was able to relate my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my doubts; bits and pieces of my real life, even if they are grossly exaggerated.  (so, no fighting ghosts, haunted mansions, or cursed arcades for me, I’m afraid)
To my surprise, the first batch of stories received a ton of feedback.  Lots of people cheered my interpretation of Wendy and Dipper, and what I hoped they’d evolve into.  (I’d give myself a 70% on that estimate)
Did all of these viewers, reviewers, and rebloggers share the same view of the world; about love as I did?
About two years in, little did I know I would get another surprise.  I would get a Dipper of my very own.
I wasn’t looking for love. Honest.  But upon new experiences and meeting new people, I discovered someone - a special speck of wonder - that became enamored with me.  I didn’t notice it at first.  I still find it odd that someone can look or think of me in such a way.
But I remember what happened the last time I hesitated.  I always said that in the slim chance I would ever get a second chance, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice.
I kept my word and enjoyed the best years of my life.
I made up a lot of lost time with an adorable hipster with a similar spirit to Wendy.  An old soul, they loved retro culture as a whole: the movies, the music, even the video games.  Their literary tastes were also very similar to mine.  I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a conversation with someone about books outside of a school setting.
But at the same time, you could see Dipper’s innocence there as well.  A tough attitude hid a fragile heart. A hidden brilliance was often overshadowed by a lack of courage and self-esteem.
It was around this time that I noticed new comments on my latest stories.  People were saying that I was (inadvertently) writing a stronger and more detailed Wendy.  At first, I didn’t understand what they meant.  Then, after thinking about it, I finally got what others were noticing.
My Wendy had changed because I had changed.  Somehow, I gained a deeper insight on her character and the way she would view certain aspects of her life, I was now a Wendy myself, with a little Dipper that thought the world of me, and for this, I tried my best to make sure they would never feel the growing pains that Dipper (or a younger me, for that matter) would usually face alone.  I was their cheering section, their coach, their backup, and I encorporated all of these things into our favorite redhead.
I found it funny that the show would (periodically) use that same angle.  I only wish they would have done it as much as I did.
But as with all great things in my life, I royally screwed everything up.  And during a time of distress and turmoil, my little Dipper found something better and hitched their wagon elsewhere.
So, by now, you have to be asking, “Why are you telling us bits and pieces of your life?”  I do this because I want people to understand why I can’t do this anymore.
Don’t get me wrong.  I love writing the stories.  I also love the fact that there’s so many people that look forward to each tale, as if it was made by the real Gravity Falls team.  To me, that’s a great honor that very little can ever replace.
But at the same time, the series (and especially Wendy and Dipper) is so close to my heart, and in some cases, so indistinguishable from certain aspects of my personal life that it actually hurts.  For the record, I haven’t sat down and watched an episode of Gravity Falls since the Blu Ray box set came out, in which I listened to the commentary for a project for Wendip-Week.
Maybe it’s because I know what happens to Dipper and Wendy at the end of the series.  Maybe it’s because their fate reminds me so much of my own.  It’s a “Chicken or the Egg” question for sure.
This is why DBR3 and Serendipity took so long to finish.  At times, I had to force myself on the computer to write 1,000 words at a time.  It takes me months to do what I used to do in mere days or at most, a week.  I don’t have the strength or the enthusiasm to do it at the same pace.  And you all deserve better than that.
I need a break, guys and gals.  I need to clear my mind and find out what’s going on inside here.  For the first time in years, I have accomplished all of my Gravity Falls related goals.  Just to go down the line:
-Published a new chapter every weekday for a month straight in honor of the GF Season 2 Premiere.
-Created a few GF stories based in the first-person perspective.  One of them is one of my most popular stories.
-Delivered a DBR2 and DBR3 due to high demand.
-Shaped a two-part Wendy/Dipper story based in the same nature and context of the classic graphic novel, Scott Pilgrim.
-Wrote several extensions to Gravity Falls episodes that I had uneasy feelings about.
-Helped a fellow Tumblr user create a Wendy/Dipper themed full sized Christmas poem in less than 24 hours.
-Tried my hand at a Wendy and Mabel story just to try something different and to see if I could do it.
-Wrote and outlined a 50-page Gravity Falls comic after 3+ years of trying to get it off the ground.
That’s not really a bad resume, not counting all the contributor’s work I’ve done for other Wendip artists/writers or the essays, guides, and projects I helped Wendip-Week design.  Even if I still had the energy to keep going, what unexplored territory is there for me to explore?
So what does this mean?
Well, that’s up to you lot, isn’t it?
I would love it if the same fans that enjoyed my stories took up the reigns and show us in the Wendip/GF communities what they could do.  Lead the way with new Wendy and Dipper tales!  Make it about the past, present, or future!  Give us a new way to look at them, or present them in an undiscovered light.
And it doesn’t have to be writing, either.  Make a comic.  Draw a picture.  Heck, do a radio broadcast for all I care.  Express your minds, hearts, and soul and create with them just as I have.
(and as a side note; I hope my Deviantart friends take this to heart.  The last time I was on the site, the cute/adorable pic/X-rated pic ratio was greatly, greatly one-sided in a bad way)
A lot of people might be asking, “Well, you’re calling it quits. Why shouldn’t we?” 
Because if you believe in the messages I put into the stories or the effort we put into Wendip-Week, then aren’t those messages worth spreading?  Just because my personal life went to crap in a handbasket, it doesn’t mean the same would happen to anyone else.
A harsh lesson I learned with age is that you can do everything perfectly, or to the best of your abilities, and still fail.  The Gravity Falls team loved to instill this over Dipper time and time again.
I want to believe in something better.  Don’t you?
And who says I’m gone for good?  Maybe I’ll find a new form of inspiration and come up with an unique idea that I just can’t keep to myself,  Perhaps Gravity Falls will come back in some form and ignite enough of a fire in me to pull a comeback.
But, until then, I plan on taking a long, well-deserved break.  After all, I have a ton of missed Wendip Week submissions to catch up on.  I promised myself I wouldn’t check them out until my final story is completed.  It looks like that day is finally here.
However, it is the holiday season, and for this, I wish to leave you all with three different sources of inspiration.  Maybe it’ll help; maybe it won’t.
1.  An inspirational letter from none other than my namesake.
2.  A key word of advice from one of the only series that could stand up to Gravity Falls’ legacy.  It is a message I wish I could have learned sooner.
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3.  And simply because we NEED more sources of strong females (and something I wish I would have found in time for the Spider-Man essay), here is a tumblr blog dedicated to my favorite Marvel female, who IMHO is as close to an adult Wendy as we’ll get,
I wish you all a happy holiday, and hope that my announcement hasn’t dashed your holiday spirit.  I am forever honored by all those I have worked with and by those who took my nonsensical musings and elevated them to something more.
As one of my favorite bands like to close their shows with:
“It's never goodbye, It's just 'till next time."
-ddp456
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furyfought · 3 years
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abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway .  they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.
loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.
+ pinterest, stats.
hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎
"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."
agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?
when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but. 
agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.
agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.
agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro. 
but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff. 
i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.
anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch. 
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"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋."  + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !
i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3
if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3
conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.
fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts. 
someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3
omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!
agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?
an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?
agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.
agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3
if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.
omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked.. 
on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3
budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨. 
i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..
college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.
tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.
agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster. 
speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.
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Survey #312
“robert’s got a quick hand  /  he’ll look around the room, he won’t tell you his plan.”
Do you kiss your pets? Yes. Have you thought about whether or not you're gay? I actually have briefly questioned if I'm just purely lesbian due to how incredibly averse to simply seeing penises I am, but considering I'm still perfectly capable of being attracted to everything else, I'm obviously not. It's just this weird disgust I naturally have. Have you ever had gay thoughts for your best friend? Well I dated her, so like- Have you ever had an STD? No. Would you say you are addicted to texting or to the person you are texting? Nah, definitely not. I always enjoy texting Sara, but I'm not addicted to doing so. Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Yes; I still live with my mom, so it'd be very hypocritical not to. Would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them? Nah. Sexual "talent" just doesn't matter very much to me, and besides, before or after marriage, you discover what you like together. Would it bother you if your bf/gf flirted with someone else? ???????????? yes????????????? Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Oh hell yeah. I honestly really miss doing that with Jason. We were both gamers and would do that frequently. How much does intelligence turn you on? Not like, immensely, but being very smart is definitely attractive. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? That shit's kinda creepy, imo. Then again, it could be smart for your safety, but idk, something about doing that seems invasive and just weird. I feel like you should learn things directly from their mouth. Could you date someone who had children from a previous relationship? I really don't think I could at this age, at least. I need to be more stable and a figure to look up to. I could probably be a stepmom to like, a teenager or something, but I'm not dating anyone with one of those at only 25. I would have to really, REALLY like the person to even consider dating them with a younger kid. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Yeah, go for it. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Yes, definitely. I think waiting too long can make this hard and an awkward change, though; this was the exact situation with Girt. I had a pretty big crush on him my freshman year before Jason, but we were just friends too long. He became my "brother." Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Both are fun. Do you enjoy risk? N O P E. How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Not my jam. Do you meditate? No, but I'm considering trying it thanks to group therapy. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Do you have a problem with racist jokes? Um, fuck yes I do. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? Yeah, like the soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? Lol no, I can't cook. Do you litter? No. Don't even fucking dare to in front of me. Do you have a career plan? Yes. Could you live with someone who was really messy? How messy? And would they listen if I asked them to clean up? Do you have any shameful fantasies? Yes. Is art important to you? Art is absoluely vital for my happiness in life. Do you believe in fate or destiny? Nope; you carve your own path. Have you ever called your friend a slut? Ha, jokingly. It's gone both ways. Doing nothing all day makes you feel...? That's me pretty much every day, and it makes me feel awful by the end of it. Do you shower everyday? No. It's bad for your skin and hair. Is work important to you? It clearly is when you consider how stressed I've been for years trying to find a job I can handle. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No, but I probably will have some things done if/hopefully when I lose the weight I want to. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? My past has proven that not always, no. What I really care about is whether or not they show the intention of getting somewhere, like working on themselves and having plans they're making baby steps towards. If the person is without any motivation to get somewhere in life, no, I can't date them. Could you date someone who does drugs? Absofuckinglutely not. Do you enjoy watching sports? Only dance. Are you a cat or a dog person? Cat, I think, but I love both. Should evolution be taught in schools? Yes, definitely. Separation of church and state, my friend. Are you kinky? I mean I can't say I'm unwilling to try some things that would be considered so, but my sexual experiences so far have been pretty vanilla, and I'm fine with that. Would you do a striptease for your partner? That'd be so fucking awkward lmao. Would you date someone who doesn't have a car? Yeah; again, I don't. It may be problematic if they never wanted to, especially with me being so afraid of driving, but idk. Do you enjoy dancing? If I wasn't so horribly out of shape. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Lol, wow. What year are we in again? Have you ever met someone in person you met online? Only Sara so far, but I do wanna meet a few others! Last person you kissed, are they into any type of sports? Which ones? No. Do you ever read your old surveys? No. They're really just a momentary distraction for me. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? Ginga Densetsu Weed was fantastic. I'm now anxiously awaiting Meerkat Manor to come on air again this year!! :') When writing stories, do you have trouble coming up with character names or do they come to you easily? I struggle with coming up with completely original names; I used to be good at it back in the day, now I feel like almost anything I come up with sounds stupid. Real words coming up for OCs that somehow fit them come easy for me, though. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Yes, because some preferred it. Have you ever shoplifted, even just once? What did you take? Nope. Have you ever witnessed someone else shoplifting? Did you say something? I don't recall. Is your hair thick, thin, or somewhere in between? it's thick as hell. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh yes, I loved letting the harmless ones wander over my arms as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch? No. What a shocker when you think of Mark, I know, but I've kinda been drifting from enjoying let's plays, especially of random games I don't know or think will be good, so I don't force myself. Have you ever witnessed something burn down? Yes. Diagonal to my childhood house, down the road, there was a huge house fire once. Only the foundation of it is left today. Well, maybe they've rebuilt it, but they sure didn't for a long-ass time. Have you ever won a game of chess? Don't know how to play, so. Have you ever picked strawberries or apples? Strawberries, yes. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? No better than the average joe. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? Three dogs, and my rat Tezzeret. Where on your body did you/would you like to get your first tattoo? I got mine on my right wrist. What’re some movies you love that people wouldn’t expect you to like? The Notebook surprises a lot of people. I adore that movie. Does your shower have a glass screen or a curtain? It's a curtain. What was the last pill you swallowed? I don't remember; I take a lot of meds in the morning. Where’s your dad from? Ohio. Other than yourself, who was the last person that took a picture of you? Whoever took the picture of my sister Misty and me hugging. What are you usually doing if you're up late at night? On the rare occasion I'm up late, I'm probably really into doing something in World of Warcraft at the time. I go through spells. Right now I'm barely playing it at all. What do you get when you go to the movies? Popcorn and a drink, always. Do/did you enjoy living with your parents? Yeah. If you were to write a story right now, what would it be about? I'm not interested in starting a new story. The continuous stories in RP are enough for me. If you were to paint something right now, what would it be? I'm unsure. I have a lot of art ideas I want to do, but idk what I'd do first, and besides, I prefer drawing over painting. Do you believe you have a calling? I don't believe in "callings." I believe in natural talents, but I don't feel there's some supernatural or purposeful tactic to it. If you could sing a song before an audience today, what one would it be? Oh god. If I had a choice, I wouldn't. If I didn't, I'd have to think more about this. Do you enjoy public speaking? Fuck no. What pet do you want to have? The pet I want most right now is a plains/western hognose, probably of the lavender morph. I adore those lil piggies. Who do you want to be in your life that is currently not? I go back-and-forth about Jason, even though I know it wouldn't be healthy for me for him to have any part in it. PTSD is a motherfucker. Who do you want to be out of your life that currently is in it? Nobody. What do you have to do to achieve your dream? Most likely for someone(s) with considerable influence or popularity in art to highlight photograph(s) of mine. It's why I enter competitions once in a blue moon if Mom's okay with paying the small fee; it's very, very seldom I even ask, though. I hate asking for things, especially non-necessities with our financial position. Are you ambitious? I think so. I'm determined as a motherfucker to be successful with photography, for one. Do you sell things online? Extremely rarely. Speaking of which, I keep forgetting to take pictures of my flute and guitar since I wanna try to get rid of them. I never played the guitar much, and my sentimental affection for my flute has long since faded, so I might as well make a bit of cash off them to go towards Venus' terrarium upgrade. Do you look the way you want to look? Hell no. Do you pray daily? I never do. Have you been through anything traumatic? Oh yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No. What is a medical condition you used to have but don't anymore? I had this very weird spell of frequent vertigo that kinda just... vanished. Do you look your age? I suppose I do. What has made you itch the most? Shaving my legs I guess, considering I would scratch them so badly it left me with permanent scars. Is there anything you're avoiding? If so, what? Probably. Well enough that I can't even think of it right now, haha. What quality do you admire most in others? Empathy. Do you believe that things will get better? Yes. I hope. Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I have. How old were you when you started swearing? I was in the 7th grade. I don't know the actual age group for that. Do you have any Indian in your blood? No. What is your favorite sunset color? Pink. Have you ever had dreadlocks? No. Have you ever wondered if your house was haunted? Two houses ago, yes. Does the idea of having servants bother you? Yes? Do you like crab? NOOOOOO NO NO. It's mushy and just ew. What song gives you chills? Hell, most music I listen to can. I get chills from music very, very easily, and I'd say either "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade or Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" cover does it the best, but I could very well be forgetting one. Ah, Bad Wolves' cover of "Zombie" is another very high contender, especially knowing the story behind it with how the original singer was supposed to write it with them, but the day of scheduled recording, she died. What color is your favorite hoodie? It's mostly gray, just with a Pikachu graphic on it. Do you have a string of lights in your room? No, but I've always thought those were really pretty. If you were a writer, would you have a pen name or use your real name? My real name. What is your friend's cat's name? Sara has a cat named Winter. Did you ignore the last Facebook post that bothered you, or did you comment? Probably rolled my eyes and scrolled by just to avoid conflict. I normally have to be HEATED to start something. If you were a famous singer, what would you want your hit song to be about? Peace, most likely. Do you have a blog? No. Do you think you are good at writing poetry? I think so, but it takes more thinking than it used to. Do you take gummy vitamins? No, but I wish I took vitamins. Would probably do me some good. If you could do research right now for an essay, what topic would you choose to write about? Hm. I'm always up for arguing for LGBT rights. There's a good handful of topics I'd enjoy writing about, though. Have you ever been tempted to commit a crime? Well, I've pirated things before, so... I kinda crossed that threshold. Other than that, no, not to my memory. Have you ever started writing a suicide letter? I wrote one and am forever humiliated by it. ...and then realized you wanted to live? No, I OD'd afterwards. Well wait... I was kinda on the line I guess, considering once I did it, I panicked and told Mom. If you have a class ring, what color is the stone? I didn't get one. Do you like apple cider hot or cold? I can't remember the last time I had either. Do you use window clings (stickers for your window)? No. Have you ever found a secret compartment? I don't remember ever finding one anywhere. Do you read horror stories? Sometimes RP pretty much turns into horror stories, haha. Do you ever comfort eat? I am VERY bad at that. Do you have your wedding planned in your head already? No, only skeletal basics of it. Does sunlight make you happier? Yes. This is a scientific fact. Do you feel depressed in the winter? No. What's your favorite shade of green? Like a pastel mint color. What channel is your TV usually on? Mom always has Netflix or Hulu on, I think. Do you drive with the windows down or the air on? I strongly prefer AC. How many pairs of jeans do you have? Zero. Do you sleep with a comforter or quilt? A comforter. Who is your favorite American president? I don't know nearly enough about any of 'em to make a fair judgment. Do you jump right in a pool or do you get in slowly? Whew, my jumping in the pool days are long over. Do you use one swimsuit for the summer or do you have many? I just have a single black one-piece. Do you use the bumpers when you bowl? Nah. Sorta affects the fun for me since it's less reason to focus. Do you put eyeliner on the top, bottom, or all around your eyes? All around. Will you refuse to listen to music if you find the lyrics degrading? Depends on how degrading, but usually, it doesn't play a part in deciding if I like the song itself or not. Can you do a cartwheel? I never even tried; I was always too afraid of breaking my neck. Do you have tornadoes where you live? Occasionally, but they're not a big thing here. What's your favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. What's the most expensive crafts tool that you own? Miss Tobey got me a big pack of Prismacolor pencils one year that I really cherish. Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? No. What's the most exotic spice in your spice rack? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have a favorite television host? Steve Harvey is The Shit. What's something you're opinionated and very vocal about? LGBTQ+ rights and the pro-choice ideology lead the bunch. The lack of morality in hunting for sport, too. What's something you regularly order online? Nothing regularly. Do you like elevators? No; quite the opposite, actually. When you're angry, does it ever get physical? Absolutely not. What's the weirdest video YouTube has suggested to you? I don't really know. I'm certain I've seen some wild suggestions, though, given just how much of a heavy user I am of YT. Do you like the smell of tar? Ugh, no. Never understood that. Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? I'd like a rainbow flag for my room to hang somewhere.
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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1106
survey by mickey-mouse
Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of? I haven’t been feeling that way towards anyone, be it from real life or someone on the internet or a celebrity, for a while.
Do you drink the milk from the bowl after you eat all the cereal? I’ll try to drink some of it, since I do think milk tastes nice haha, but I keep it in moderation so that my stomach won’t end up being too upset.
Have you ever kissed anybody accidentally? Oh wow, how does this even happen? Hahaha but no I haven’t.
Who was the first person to wish you a Merry Christmas last year? Most likely a family member. My friends and I usually greet each other late into the evening.
Do you think it'll be the same person this year? It will probably be family again, yeah. I just can’t tell which one would be first.
Is your display picture in black and white? None of my profile photos on all social media are.
Do you know anybody who has had an online relationship? I don’t think so. I have some friends who met their SOs through dating apps, but I think all of them have since seen each other in person. I’m not sure I know of anyone whose relationship has been entirely online/virtual so far.
What food are you always in the mood for? No matter how full I am, I will always take a slice of pizza or two if it’s ever served at a table. That or chicken wings or spicy tuna salad.
When was the last time you played Guitar Hero? Safe to say more than a decade ago. I had always preferred Rock Band since I found it more fun that switching instruments was a main part of its gameplay, whereas you were stuck with the guitar on Guitar Hero.
What friend could buy clothes for you and not have to worry what they bought? Angela. We have nearly the same sense of style and we find the same things cute, so if I ever had to make a friend control my wardrobe for the day I will likely trust her the most.
1 thing that your guy best friend doesn't like about you: I don’t have a guy best friend. Hans is my closest friend of the opposite sex; while I don’t think he dislikes anything about me, I’m sure he thinks I’ve acted dumb about love and relationships many times before. Which is fine, we’re very honest and blunt about those things and I actually appreciate it when he gets brutally honest with me.
How about your girl best friend? Again, I don’t know if Angela doesn’t like a certain trait of mine but she’s well aware of my past stupid decisions i.e. staying in a harmful relationship.
Do you loan your friends money? No, but I’m ready to lend to my closest friends should they ever be in need.
Are Lucky Charms really magically delicious? I dunno, I’ve never tried.
When was the last time you had Lucky Charms anyway? See above.
Who is the last person you called long distance? I don’t do video calls with friends living in other countries, mainly because I’ve grown apart from them haha. My mom will sometimes start calls with relatives living abroad though; I believe the most recent one was a group video call with my dad’s side of the family, which included an uncle who lives in New York.
Do you sleep with a nightlight? No; I would find this too distracting and bright.
Is Lil Wayne really the best rapper alive? I never thought he was one of the best to begin with. Some of the songs he’s featured in are fine but I don’t like his slurred style of rapping very much.
What is the first text in your inbox? Like...the very first one in my inbox? I scrolled all the way down and it’s from Frances - an orgmate who has since disappeared off the face of the earth and blocked all her friends on social media lmao - asking about an org-related thing three years ago. Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing okay.
Are you taller than your siblings? I am the eldest yet smallest child in the family. My relatives get a kick out of it, which is fine because I do too HAHA
What are the first letters of your friends first names on your top 8? Myspace? Was never active on it.
When was the last time you almost cried from laughing? I can’t pinpoint an exact moment for you but this happens a lot when I watch 2 Days 1 Night, so this has probs happened recently.
Do you have “photoshoots” with your friends/family members? Not with me as the subject – I’m very camera shy and turn into an awkward stick once I’m asked to pose. But I love taking photos of loved ones, especially an SO.
Are you generous? To a fault.
Are you excited for Thanksgiving this year? I don’t celebrate that.
Are you excited for Thanksgiving ANY year? Yeah, I still don’t celebrate that.
Any plans for the weekend? I had plans to start a new series and spend a lazy day watching YouTube videos, but we haven’t had internet all day today and it’s felt quite deflating to have the first day of my weekend taken away from me. I’ve been running on data which is...fine, I guess, but I can’t use too much if I don’t want to keep paying for it. That said I’ve only been able to do surveys and stream music today. For tomorrow, I wanna go to a coffee shop and perhaps even treat myself to ramen because I’ve been craving.
Do you lay your clothes out the day before? Before Covid happened I planned out my clothes the night before, but I didn’t lay them out.
Who was the last person you bought a gift for? Andi; got them a dress and a skirt.
What was the last song you had stuck in your head? My Limb has been repeatedly playing in my head all day.
Are you ignoring anybody currently? Not ignoring, more of I’ve already given up on them.
Do you curse at your parents in a different language? I don’t curse at my parents in any language, lmfao.
Do you get the mailman a Christmas gift every year? We don’t have mailmen, buuuuut the maintenance staff in my village (trash collectors, security guards, those in charge of trimming the grass, etc) will usually hand each household an envelope in time for Christmas. My family and I help them out and place a certain amount in all envelopes.
Are you afraid of lizards? They are very common visitors in homes here so no I’m mostly not. They move very fast and get freaked out when they see humans though, so sometimes I’ll be shocked by them suddenly scurrying away.
How legible is your signature? I don’t make it legible at all so that it’s difficult to replicate. I actually get a lot of comments on it because my signature is mostly a lazy scribble and I don’t actually spell out any part of my name, which exactly fulfills my goal of making it hard to copy.
Do you think anybody else has a bedroom EXACTLY like yours? I actually live in a neighborhood where the houses are the same models, so I can confidently tell you that there are around 10-20 bedrooms that look similar to mine. But as for being styled and furnished exactly like mine, I doubt it.
How hot are your neighbors? Lol uh I don’t pay attention to this particular trait. All my neighbors are your typical suburban families with young kids, anyway.
Do you have pictures of clouds on your cell phone? A lot. I like looking up at the sky from time to time.
Do you send compliments through text message? Sure, when it’s appropriate and only with close friends.
Do/did your high school theme colors match? I never thought they didn’t go well together, that much I can say.
Do you own any Nike shoes? Several.
Have you ever rode in a VW Bug? Never.
How about a Mini Cooper? Never have, would absolutely love to.
What was the last fast food place you got food from? Yellow Cab. I got two pizzas and pasta for my family.
When you invite people to your house do you usually hang out in your room? I never invite people to my house because it’s too far compared to where most of my friends live, and it would only be a big hassle for everyone. As for my room, the only people who’ve been in it are Gabie and Angela/Hans, the latter only once.
Have you ever seen your crush/current bf/gf cry? I don’t have any of these.
Do you own any Spongebob merchandise? I’m pretty sure we have a Patrick plushie we continue to keep around.
Do you have any food traditions with any of your friends? My orgmates and I frequented a certain bar near our university; we went there whether it was to celebrate the end of an exam-filled week, or if we simply wanted to spend an ordinary Thursday with a few drinks. A few months ago they were in danger of closing because of the pandemic, but I hope life has been kinder to them recently.
Do you like Gwen Stefani? Erm, not particularly. Some songs of her I like, but I’m not a passionate fan.
Do you know anybody with a thick Jamaican accent? No.
Are you closer to your mom’s side of the family or your dad’s? Mom’s. Aside from being able to see them more often, our humor is also similar.
Have you ever been to a haunted house? I’ve stared at one, but never gone inside haha.
Yes or no: red eyeliner? Do whatever you want with your face and makeup, man.
Yes or no: red lipstick? ^ Still applies.
Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No.
Do you wear holiday themed clothing? I don’t think I own any, so no.
At 6:00 tomorrow night where do you think you’ll be? On my way home, or preparing to head home, I hope.
Is it night or day right now? Evening.
What time did you get up today? Like 5:30. I fell asleep on the rooftop and got to see the pretty sunrise and the sky gradually change colors :)
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jawnjendes · 4 years
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prologue: i’ll be just fine | shawn mendes
shawn x goth gf
forevermore 0/?
let me know if you want to be added to the taglist
masterlist | playlist (song added with every chapter)
2019.
"Why do you listen to these sad songs knowing they'll make you sad?" It was another thing about Ann that Shawn had yet to understand. 
A majority of Ann's driving playlist consisted of some really sad songs. Shawn thought he understood this at first; Just from the way his girlfriend looked, she seemed like a sad person. However, the dark exterior wasn't due to sadness, it was quite the opposite. But the real cause of the constant sad songs was that Ann was coming out of something rough before Shawn came along, so it made sense.
Now, Ann wasn't in a rough patch anymore. At least that's how she put it. This playlist was a mix of pop and metal, the only common thing was that they all had depressing lyrics.
"The songs that elicit the strongest reactions from me are the ones I keep around," she said simply.
For once, they weren't driving. The couple were in Ann's car in an abandoned parking lot on the outskirts of town after a long day of exams. Ann didn't even bother to change the music to fit the mood. She could at least pretend she was on a date.
"So only the sad ones make you feel things?" Shawn asked, reaching over to take her hand and play with her fingers. "Don't you ever hear a song that makes you feel happy to be alive? Ones that make you wanna jump around and dance?" 
"Mm, only at concerts," she said. "And I feel that high for a few days, weeks if it was a good show. The happier songs hit different when they're live."
Shawn still couldn't wrap his head around it, but that was better than nothing. At this point, he just lapped up a sliver of fun facts Ann was willing to share. So far, Shawn has learned that she prefers blue candy and that she mains Link in Mario Kart 8. Baby steps.
"Ooo, a good one," Ann said as yet another melancholy tune played.
This was a band they had in common: 5SOS. Shawn knew this particular song because he cried the first time he heard it.
Here I am waking up, still can't sleep on your side
There's your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time
If I could dream long enough, you'd tell me I'll be just fine
"Doesn't it make you want to curl up in a ball?" Ann asked, a little too cheery.
"Yeah," Shawn agreed. "Music is powerful."
"And it doesn't feel like a typical break up song," she went on. "It just feels like general loss. Feeling the absence of those who were once there, and how painful it is to live on without them."
"Have you thought of this before?"
"Is it that obvious?"
Shawn had his own thoughts. "Well, it's definitely a breakup song, the lyrics state it. But it doesn't feel like a concept that was thought up in a studio. It feels like an experience, a really painful experience."
"Exactly," Ann agreed. "Just wondering who hurt these guys so bad."
"Have you been hurt this bad?" Shawn knew this was a risky question to ask, because Ann doesn't like dwelling on things like that. She barely told him anything about her relationship with Luca from the previous year. Shawn asked because he thought that was the answer, and then Ann would give another sliver of information.
"No."
Okay, so he was wrong. But he did learn another thing about Ann: she will answer deep questions if she knows she won't talk about anything deep. 
"I hope I never feel something like this song," she added.
The simple afterthought made Shawn perk up a little bit. Ann said it for him. He gently squeezed her hand. He wanted to hold her in his arms and never let go. (Ann was still hesitant to fall into physical affection.) How he longed for her touch and her love, even though she was close by. How he wanted to shower her in all of his love… But he didn't want to scare her off.
Shawn had to be careful. He knew Ann had a hard time with romantic relationships. She was afraid, paranoid. She was avoidant and silent about her feelings. This wasn't someone that Shawn normally got involved with. He always thought he would end up with someone louder… in every aspect.
But something about being with Ann made it easy, and worth it. Shawn was more than willing to wait for her to open up. He knew her little flicks to his arm were signs of affection that she couldn't voice. He knew her kisses to his cheek were meant with all the love. He knew she was into this, otherwise she would leave. 
Now if only Ann could know that she was safe with Shawn, and that he cherishes every teeny tiny bit of herself that she gives to him. If only she could believe that he was nothing like the last asshole she was with.
She had to believe that at least a little bit if she hadn't left, right?
And if Ann did decide to leave, Shawn would feel worse than what this song was giving him. He knew that much.
"Too young, too dumb to know things like love," Ann sang, waving her arms in the air like she was at a 5SOS concert.
This was the song that Shawn would play should this relationship come to an end. This was also the song that was playing when he realized he loved Ann.
~
2020.
It’s funny that Annalise went from being too depressed to do school work to being so depressed that she has to drown herself in school work. For the last three months, it was school, then work, then her bedroom. No time to talk or breath or think. No time to listen to the radio or watch interviews or feel anything.
Three straight months of this routine. It was surprising that Stella just let Annalise do what she did. She didn’t intervene in Annalise’s intense study session, or take her to some obscure coffee shop to hear some people sing. Nope, Annalise was definitely going to pass this semester with flying colors and leave this campus with a bang.
Well… she would feel more confident about it if the two women talking out in the living room would be more considerate. Annalise thought that there would be less chatter in the dorm once Camila left campus, but no. Stella just had to have other friends. Was it so hard to stay quiet or just go somewhere else?
Annalise didn’t give a single flying fuck that one of the girls’ voices was trembling and incoherent. She threw her pencil aside and got up from her bed. She pulled open the door and shot daggers at Stella and Alessia.
“Could you guys keep it down? I’m trying to study.” Her tone was low and monotonous, not very intimidating. She found that the more she raised her voice, the more likely that box in her head that trapped all the gross, sad, painful things would burst open. So she stayed quiet these days.
Stella merely gave her roommate a look. She subtly nodded to the crying girl next to her, like she was telling Annalise to be more compassionate.
But Alessia was already on her feet, enraged with tears staining her cheeks. “What is wrong with you?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Annalise coolly replied.
“No, like, what is so goddamn wrong with you that you’re not at my level of despair?” Alessia tried again, her voice shaking and her arms flailing around.
A sigh came out of Stella, but she didn’t try to intervene. Again.
Alessia sniffed and continued. “My friend, the friend I crushed on and never got to call mine, dropped out three months ago to pursue music and fame, without so much as a goodbye to me. And he took Stella’s girlfriend, a best friend to follow him around, and another best friend to take pictures of him! That’s four of our friends gone like that!” She snapped her fingers. “I miss all of them so much I don’t know what to do with myself, he didn’t even invite me.”
“I’m sorry, that must be hard for you,” Annalise said without missing a beat.
It was easy to tell where this was leading to. She really should have taken herself out of the room, but Alessia’s crazed and tearful eyes had a hold on her.
“You know what the worst part is?” she said, taking a step towards the other girl. “You don’t sing, or dance, or offer anything useful to the entertainment industry, and he invited you. And you turned him down… you fucking went and turned him down.”
Reminder: never tell Stella anything ever again. Reminder: you stayed behind.
Annalise blinked once, only for a single tear to stream down her face. The box in her head wasn’t tied well enough.
“It’s like you said, I have nothing to contribute to that world.” She couldn’t keep her voice low and steady anymore. “He just wanted me to quit school and work to follow him like a puppy. Brian had no problem doing that, but I don’t do that for anybody.”
Alessia wasn’t pleased with that answer. “So you just dump him?”
“Yes!” Annalise yelled. “Yes, okay? I broke up with him! I’m not the one who signed up for stalkers and the invasion of privacy!” She could feel herself cracking open from her head to her toes as more tears welled up in her eyes. “I have my own things to worry about here, I have my own future to build since it’s not being handed to me on a silver platter! You think I don’t think about the decision I made? That I don’t wonder what would have happened if I said yes? You think I don’t miss him?”
She doesn’t cry often, because when she does, it’s a lot. Annalise fell to her knees, her heart shattering as she sobbed into her sleeves. It was unbearable, never ending. It stung so deep in her chest that she couldn’t even breathe. And she only had herself to blame because she did this to herself. She decided to stay behind and end it all.
~
Present day.
“Emotionally, it sucked,” Ann recalled, “but academically, that was the best semester I’ve ever had.”
Shawn was a little surprised. The questions that he had been thinking about for six years was finally answered. He wasn’t the only one torn up over the break up. He should have known that Ann would hide her pain like she always did. It was sad but oddly comforting knowing that she cried over him too. At least now he knows that she did love him.
“But you don’t regret any of it?” he asked.
“If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have drowned myself in my studies. And I wouldn’t have the job I have now,” she replied. “But there is one thing I do regret.”
“What’s that?”
“That stupid separation thing.”
The two of them looked at each other. Ann was cringing at herself, while Shawn couldn’t help but breathe out a soft laugh.
“I was so heartbroken that I forgot about that,” he admitted.
“Yeah? I thought about the separation so much, and how much time I wasted with it. Only a couple of months after I called that off, I lost you. We could have had more time, a better time.”
Maybe it was the old feelings arising, maybe it was the fact that they’ve had a lot of sex lately, but Shawn couldn’t help himself.
“There’s time now.”
Ann’s winged eyes went wide. Her mouth was half open like she wanted to say something, but it was all silent, and it made Shawn nervous.
“Or,” he backtracked, “you might be seeing someone, or you’re not interested or anything…”
“No,” she replied, still in thought. “I just- I know, we've slept together a lot these days, but… aren’t you in between, uh, things with Camila?”
The way she worded that was interesting. But Shawn was bound by contract, even if it was between events. Even if he was on a break. Even if he had eyes for someone else.
“I… um,” he tried to say, tried to think of the things he was trained to say. But it was Ann, and he had a hard time lying to her.
“It’s okay,” she said softly. “I have a lot of clients in the same situation. It’s not breaking contract if I figure it out on my own.”
Shawn relaxed, and a small smile grew on his face. "Well, she and I are off right now…"
Ann nodded. "But what about when you're on again? And what about your job? When you get back to being a superstar?"
He thought about it. Really, he's been thinking about it since Brian's death. "Honestly, I've been at this for years. And I love the time off I've been having way too much. Yeah, I made some plans to make another record and go on tour, but none of it's set in stone. I'm not ready to go back to the crazy superstar life. I'm ready for a quiet life. And if you want to be in it too, that would be even better."
NEXT
_______
goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @strangerliaa @kitykatnumber @mendesromano @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @someoneunimportantxx @parkeraul @calyumthomas @softmendesss @wronglanemendes @theprivatewritings @peruvian-bae
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wonjaekook · 4 years
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If the Dress Fits
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A/N: This fic is 80% Y/N and Chenle whining to their respective best friends about each other and like 20% actual plot, but it’s fine… to be honest, I had a really hard time writing this one for whatever reason? But enjoy !
21 Tropes: 8. High school/prom AU + turquoise w/Chenle
Description: Zhong Chenle had somehow not gotten himself a date for prom. He had, however, found out that you have the same favorite movie as him.
Word Count: 3.7k
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
“This one, you’re getting this one.”
The dress that your friend Ryujin waves in front of you nearly makes you dizzy with how sparkly it is and you have to close your eyes and push her hand away. “I don’t like it,” you say, frowning, “It’s too much.”
“My friend,” she says, lowering the dress and slinging an arm around your shoulder, “you’re going to get a dress today whether you like it or not and, if you aren’t going to choose, I’ll pick one for you.”
“But I-”
“Don’t have a date, blah blah. I don’t care. You’re my best friend and you’re coming to prom no matter what.” Ryujin is beyond stubborn and you know there isn’t anything you can do to convince her to let you stay home.
“Well, I don’t like that one,” you say, turning back to the racks of long, beautiful dresses.
“Choose one soon or I’ll choose for you! We have to go make our hair and makeup appointments, too!”
“Such a waste of money,” you grumble under your breath, pushing dress after dress aside.
“It’s a perfectly good use of money! This is a once in a lifetime experience. Once. In. A. Lifetime!” As she emphasizes each word, you sigh heavily and just pull out the next dress you see.
“I’ll get this one.” Your best friend scrutinizes your choice, a displeased pout on her lips.
“You just chose that one randomly! At least put some thought into it-”
“I like the color and it’s pretty, isn’t that enough?”
She stares at you for a beat before giving in. “Fine, go try it on, then.” As you close the door of the changing room behind you, she shouts out another demand. “And you’d better come out with it on so I can see!” The changing process takes longer than you would have liked to admit, but you eventually step out with the zipper zipped and ribbon tied, showing Ryujin how the item looks on you. She scrutinizes you carefully, tugging at bits of cloth here and there until she sighs. “If you like it, then I like it. Somehow you chose one randomly that looks really good on you.”
You grin victoriously, ecstatic that you’re finally done with the most tedious shopping expedition you’ve ever been on. As you’re getting rung up, you’re also happy to find that the dress isn’t priced too badly either, so you begrudgingly let your best friend drag you along to your next stops without much complaint.
Unbeknownst to you, just a few stores over, Chenle and Jisung are performing a similar operation. Standing in a men’s formal wear store, Chenle is nearly as indecisive as you, but not for lack of caring. If anything, Jisung is the one who cares less of the two as he watches his friend fret.
“Can’t you just pick one?” The younger boy prods, impatiently standing while Chenle stares at the rows and rows of ties. “It’s not like you have anyone to match with.”
“Thanks for rubbing it in,” the elder grumbles, pouting while continuing to scan over the ties. He finally reaches out, picking up three.
“Why didn’t you ask someone, again?” Jisung asks, eyes wandering around the store.
“I didn’t really want to.” He shrugs before scrutinizing each tie carefully in his hands. “...and there’s no one I’m really interested in right now.”
His taller friend looks over his shoulder and points at one. “You should get that one.”
“Why?” Jisung shrugs in response. “Just because you said that, I’m getting this one.” Chenle puts the other two back and goes to the register, purchasing the tie.
You and Chenle make a somewhat unlikely pair. While he’s at least somewhat “cool,” you’re definitely not. He’s good at languages and music and sports, but you’re good at math and science. You’re about as opposite as you can get. That’s probably your biology teacher paired up the two of you.
“Who assigns a project the week before prom?” Chenle groans.
“Can we just focus and get some of this done tonight? I have a Calculus exam tomorrow that I need to study for, too.”
“I hate lab reports,” Chenle grumbles under his breath. You would have rolled your eyes if you didn’t completely agree.
“Same.”
He looks up at you, surprised at your response. “You don’t like writing lab reports?”
You give him an incredulous look. “Of course I don’t like writing lab reports! Who likes writing lab reports? I may be a nerd but I’m not that much of a nerd.”
“Oh,” he says, flushing in embarrassment. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.” The two of you work as silently as possible for a while, only asking necessary questions. That is, until your phone begins to loudly go off. The chorus of “Start of Something New” from High School Musical blares and fills the room and you scramble to grab your phone, rejecting the call when you see that it’s just Ryujin. You take a minute to send her a panicked text, saying you’re working on a biology thing with Chenle, before you slowly turn back around to face him. He’s staring at you with wide eyes.
“You like High School Musical?” Slowly, you nod, cringing at yourself, and he lights up. “That’s my favorite movie!”
“Wait, really?” Your head snaps up and he’s grinning at you.
“Yeah! I make Jisung watch it with me at least twice a year.” You can’t help but smile back at his enthusiasm.
“I make Ryujin watch it with me every so often, too,” you say, staring back at him. “Going into high school, I always wanted it to be like the movie, but…” You trail off, the smile fading from your face. “I’m being dumb, never mind.”
“No, continue,” he encourages, gesturing at you. “I think I know what you’re talking about.”
“Maybe another time,” you say, somewhat bitterly, “let’s finish this lab report.”
The two of you don’t finish the lab report.
By the time you get through half of it, you realize that you’re basically just talking to yourself and Chenle is about a minute away from falling asleep, so you end the session there and make plans to work on it the next day. He agrees sleepily before packing up his stuff and leaving your house. You pull your phone out and flop down on your bed almost immediately after he leaves, seeing how Ryujin had responded to you earlier.
Bestie: you got paired up with Chenle? Zhong Chenle??
Y/N: YES and he finally left
Bestie: how was that? did you get along?
Y/N: it was fine, I found that he actually loves HSM too
Bestie: huh, really? cool i guess
Bestie: maybe this is your Gabriella moment and you can make him fall in love with
you…
Y/N: stop being weird, I’m not that delulu
Bestie: I’m serious, high school isn’t over yet! it’s not over until it’s over
Bestie: plus he’s cute, you should go for it
Y/N: stoppppp you’re being weird
You toss your phone to the side. Admittedly, when Chenle had first commented that he also loved the movie, you felt like your moment was finally coming, but you shut that feeling down quickly. There was no way you could ever, or he could ever, or that could ever-
You shake your head and smack your face with both palms, trying to clear your head. You really read too many romance novels.
As soon as Chenle leaves your house, he’s texting Jisung.
CL: JISUNG. CHENJI MEETING RIGHT NOW.
JS: what
JS: why are you trying to calling a meeting rn… what’s wrong
CL: Y/N IS SO CUTE
CL: AND SHE LIKES HSM
JS: uhh, nice?
CL: I WANT TO ASK HER OUT
JS: haven’t you had like… one conversation with her? isn’t that a little soon?
CL: …
CL: you’re right
JS: wait a little bit, i didn’t get my gf by jumping at the first girl i thought was cute
CL: your gf approached you first
JS: okay that’s not the point
CL: I’ll wait but I swear I’ve thought she’s cute since econ with her freshman year
JS: whatever you say
The next day, you try to ignore the face that Ryujin makes at you from across the hall as you exit biology class next to Chenle, opting to wave goodbye at him and turn a blind eye to your friend’s taunting.
“Can you not?” You say to her as soon as he leaves. “You’re still being weird!”
“I can smell the romance,” she says, dramatically wiping away a nonexistent tear from her eye, “my baby Y/N is finally getting action.”
“I’m not!” You’re on the verge of stomping your foot like a little kid with how frustrated you are. “We just have to work on a project together!” “I’m friends with Jisung, you know,” she says, “I could slip in a good word about you and that word could reach Chenle-” You hit her on the arm and she winces, pouting at you and shutting up. “Let me live and stop trying to set me up!”
“Fine,” she says, “I guess I’ll just have to let it happen naturally. I’ll leave it even more alone if you buy my banana milk today…?” She tries, but you shut her down with a glare, proceeding to walk to the cafeteria with her. While you’re sitting with your group of friends and eating, you make eye contact with Chenle as he passes by your table with Jisung and he smiles and waves, causing you to wave back. Your best friend sees, nudging you after he breaks eye contact and continues walking and you glare back at her.
When Chenle and Jisung get to their own table, the younger just rolls his eyes at the dreamy look on the elder’s face. “She’s so cute,” he says, leaning against his hand, his elbow on the table.
“Just eat your food.”
One thing you would never, ever admit to her is that you did, at one point, have a crush on your biology partner. You had a class with Chenle at one point in freshman year, economics if you remember correctly. The dynamic was similar to how it is now, but you had been even more quiet then. You don’t think he even knew you existed, which you’re fine with now. When you think about yourself from freshman year, you cringe, just like most other people. But, now, working with him on this project is bringing back the tiny fluttering butterflies in your stomach that you had repressed years before. Ryujin’s comments just bring you false hope because you’re almost certain you have no chance. So, once again, you push back those thoughts and go back to your lunch.
At your house later, you and Chenle work hard on your lab report, spending most of your time relatively silently for about an hour before he sighs and collapses dramatically over his work. “Ah, this is so hard.” “Yeah,” you agree, “I hate this. But we have to finish.”
“Uh-huh…” he says absentmindedly, lifting his head and glancing around your room. “You said…” “What?” You ask, looking away from your work and up at him.
“You said you wanted your life to be like the movie, right?” Your heart beats faster in your chest at the question and you can feel heat rise to your face, tinging it red. “Can you sing?”
“No,” you say quickly, looking at your hands, “and please don’t ask me to demonstrate. I’m so bad that I shatter glass, I swear.”
His high, squeaky laugh makes you lighten up a little bit. “I won’t ask, but I also don’t think anyone is that bad. And I know, I’ve tutored voice lessons. Anyone can sing if they practice enough.”
“Mhm, maybe. You’ve never heard me sing before.” You find yourself smiling at him.
“We should go to karaoke sometime,” he says. You wouldn’t have known, but the invitation is very spur of the moment, something that just escapes his lips before he can really think about what he’s saying.
“Sure.” You agree reluctantly, not quite believing that he’s implying that he wants to hang out with you more.
In his head, he’s screaming at himself. He just casually asked you out. He just casually asked you out?!
“If you don’t sing,” he says, trying to move on from what he just did, “then, do you dance?” “A little,” you respond hesitantly. “I taught myself some just in case.”
“Wait, really?” He exclaims, surprised. “I can’t dance at all.” “Anyone can dance if they practice enough. Besides, how are you going to dance with your date at prom if you don’t learn?” He doesn’t respond right away, so you swallow hard. “Assuming you’re going?” “I’m going!” He says quickly, making you relax slightly. “I just don’t have a date.” “You don’t?” You ask tentatively, unsure of how sensitive the topic is for him.
“Yeah. It’s whatever. But even Jisung got a date! I’m gonna have to third-wheel all night.” You laugh softly at his response.
“I feel that. I don’t have one either and I know Ryujin and her boyfriend are going to be all over each other. I’m going to try my best not to look.” When you say that you don’t have a date, he looks up at you, surprised.
“You don’t have a date? Really?” “What do you mean, really? Is it that surprising?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, confused.
“Yeah, I mean, you’re one of the smartest girls in our class and you’re cute. Why…?” You flush at his compliments. He really sees you like that?
Once again, he’s internally screaming at how casually he’s saying things to you today. He’s also far too relieved by the fact that you don’t have a date to prom.
“I- I guess I just… don’t talk to guys a lot?” You squeak out. “Why don’t you have a date?”
“There was no one I wanted to ask,” he huffs, crossing his arms before he echoes your words. “Is it that surprising?”
“To be honest, yeah,” you say, your filter suddenly gone, “you’re cute and popular and you’re good at what you do, so…” Silence hangs somewhat heavily between the two of you as you blush at each other, contemplating what could come next.
“Do you want to-”
“Maybe you and I-”
You start to speak at the same time and stop. “You go first,” you say. “No, you.” He responds. Smiles slowly creep onto your faces before you both start laughing, eliminating the tension in the air. After your laughter dies, you smile at him again.
“We should probably finish this stupid lab report.”
He nods. “Yeah, probably. Do you want to watch High School Musical after we’re done?”
You agree and get back to work. As you finish the assignment and sit on your bed with him, watching the movie, you try to ignore the fact that Zhong Chenle called you cute and that you called him cute back. You definitely try to ignore the fact that you almost asked him to be your date to prom when you’d only had like two conversations with him and the dance itself is in two days. However, you try the hardest to ignore the way that the two of you had just clicked when you were talking and how sitting next to him, watching your shared favorite movie under mounds of your pillows and blankets, feels so natural, too natural.
You try to ignore how your heart beats faster when you talk to him and he excitedly talks back to you during biology, or when you meet eyes with him across the cafeteria and he smiles at you.
But, no matter how hard you try, you can’t ignore the reemerging feelings. As you’re getting your hair and makeup done, you can’t help but wonder what he’ll think when, or if, he sees you at the dance. You can’t help but wonder if he was messing with you when he said he didn’t have a date, or if you were getting your hopes too high up that maybe he had been about to ask the same question to you as you were to him when you were studying together, or if you would even see him at all.
Ryujin snaps you out of it by literally snapping her fingers in front of your face, jolting you out of your thoughts. “Hey, today is a happy day! I can see those gears turning in your head and I’m telling you to turn them off and enjoy yourself for once. This is prom! You’re going to have fun whether you like it or not and I’ll make sure of that!”
“This is why you’re my best friend,” you say, hugging her, “thank you.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” she says, lighting up again. “Now, let’s get you into that dress.”
On the other side of town, Chenle is fretting about nearly the same thing as you, but a bit more vocally.
“What if she’s just being nice? What if she doesn’t actually think I’m cute? What if she doesn’t want to dance with me because I told her I’m not good at it? What if-” “Please, please stop,” Jisung whines, sick of hearing his friend complain about this girl for hours. He aggressively adjusts his tie, manhandling it into the right place as he speaks. “Just ask her to dance later. It’s not hard. You’re supposed to be the confident one, so just do it!”
“She’s too cute. I won’t be able to handle seeing her today.”
“You’ll be fine. Just try to have a good time.”
For the nth time, he has to agree with Jisung, even if it’s quite as romantic of an outlook.
When you step out of the relatively nice car that Ryujin’s boyfriend is driving, you feel like a princess. Even though you don’t have a prince of your own yet and you had been moping not three hours before, you find that the venue is dazzling. Pretty fake-crystal decorations are draped around lights and everything is adorned with off-white cloth that falls beautifully, like tiny waterfalls of fabric. Your best friend gasps when she gets out of the car, grabbing onto your arm and pointing at the various pretty things all around. After she is done with her initial shock, she reaches out, grabbing her date’s hand and dragging him along with her, with you trailing behind.
To your sadness, you don’t spot Chenle until everyone is sitting at their tables, eating the nice dinner that your school had catered for you. You can only see the back of his head and shoulders, his hair seeming to be neatly styled and a tuxedo replacing his usual casual outfit. You forget about him for a while as you eat and chat with your friends, sending compliments to everyone at your table. When the dancing starts, you have a decent time standing in a circle with your friends, making a fool of yourself with your silly dance moves under the disco ball and colorful moving lights setup, and having more fun than you had expected. Then, the first slow dance starts and you awkwardly step off the dance floor with all of the other single people, standing back and watching people dance.
Except, as you step off, someone taps on your shoulder.
You turn around and find Chenle, no date in sight, just like he had said. His eyes are wide when he looks at you, staring at your whole getup. “You look really pretty.”
“Thanks,” you say, grinning up at him. “You look handsome.”
Your gaze travels over his outfit, stopping at his tie, and you freeze. The two of you seem to realize at the same time. Your dress, a long, sweeping gown with ample lace and sparkle, is the same shade of turquoise blue as his silk, patterned tie.
“I guess this means something, right?” He looks at you, meeting your eyes earnestly. “You don’t have a date, I don’t have a date, but we somehow ended up matching anyways. Even though I’m not good at it, do you-”
“-want to dance? Yes.” He takes your hand, pulling you onto the dance floor.
For the first time in your life, you feel like you’re a part of a story, dancing at prom in one of your cheesy high school romance novels or movies. You’re Gabriella and he’s Troy and you couldn’t be happier just swaying with him, avoiding complicated steps and just enjoying each other’s slightly clumsy but entirely heartfelt moves.
After the song ends, you escape with him to a quieter part of the venue, chatting with him for what seems like hours about anything and everything that comes to mind, only occasionally going back in to dance sometimes. At some point, while you’re outside the main room with him, Ryujin passes you on her way to the bathroom, making a face at you, and you know you’re going to be getting some sort of scolding later. Chenle laughs his cute, squeaky laugh as you pull a face back at her. You think a few people from your grade who pass you are confused when they see you together, wearing a matching dress and tie, but you find it in you to not care.
But, the night has to come to a close at some point, and you reluctantly say goodbye to him when Ryujin sends you a whiny text that she wants to go home. The magic doesn’t leave as you go to her house for a small after party, featuring a movie that you both fall asleep to after you take your makeup off and change into more comfortable clothes.
When you wake up, your feet ache from the heels you wore the night before, and the pain is the little evidence you have to prove that the night actually happened. You hope with all your heart that the night meant as much to you as it did to Chenle and your heart slowly sinks as you check your phone, finding no notifications from him.
Then, while you’re eating breakfast with Ryujin, you see it.
Chenle: Since we just did something you’re good at and you agreed to it earlier, karaoke some time?
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