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Star Trek Episode 1.24: This Side of Paradise

AKA Yet Another Creepy Utopia Planet

Our episode begins with the Enterprise heading in to orbit around an Earthy-looking planet named Omicron Ceti 3. Omicon Ceti is a real star, by the way—also known as Mira or Mira A, it’s a red giant and part of a binary star system with its sister Mira B. It’s not a real likely place to go looking for such a nice homey sort of planet, though, because Mira is a pulsating variable star, which means its size and brightness is constantly fluctuating, and it’s hard to evolve life when your sun keeps flickering like a neon sign in a noir movie all the time.

Uhura reports to Kirk that she’s been transmitting a contact signal every five minutes just as he ordered, but she’s only getting dead air in response. Kirk tells her to keep it up until they get into orbit, then moves on to talk to Spock. “There were one hundred fifty men, women and children in that colony,” he says. “What are the chances of survivors?”

Looks like the chances are, uh...not great. And by ‘not great’ I mean ‘nonexistent’. Spock explains that ‘Bertold rays’ are a recent enough discovery that there’s still a lot not known about them, but one thing that is for sure known is that exposure to these rays causes living animal tissue to disintegrate. Nasty. Evidently this planet is heavily exposed to these rays, because a group of colonists-- “Sandoval’s group”-- came here only three years ago and Spock says there’s no possibility they could have survived. Well why the heck would anyone build a colony in such a place? All Spock can say is “They knew there was a risk.”

Kirk questions whether they can risk sending a landing party down under such conditions, but Spock says the disintegration doesn’t start immediately, so they’ll be alright if they don’t stick around too long. The helmsman reports that they’ve successfully established orbit, and he’s found a settlement—or at least, something that was a settlement at one point. Kirk tells Spock to equip a landing party of five to accompany him down there, including a biologist and McCoy. That’s gonna be a fun mission briefing. “Yes, we're beaming down to a planet bombarded with deadly radiation, but no need to worry, crew, your tissues will probably only disintegrate a little bit."

Sometime later, the landing party—Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Sulu, a blueshirt and a goldshirt—materialize into a meadow near a dirt path and a picket fence. They’ve thoughtfully arranged themselves into a nice alternating pattern.

[ID: A shot of a sunny meadow with a dirt road, a few trees and a white picket fence in the background. Newly beamed down are six Enterprise crewmembers standing in two rows: in the front are Kirk and Spock, in the back are McCoy, a goldshirt, a blueshirt, and Sulu.]

The goldshirt, incidentally, is DeSalle, who we last saw back in The Squire of Gothos. The character was originally written for this story as Lt. Timothy Fletcher, but was changed to DeSalle after the production crew realized they’d cast an actor who had already appeared in the series. Yes, really. AGAIN. The blueshirt is Kelowitz, who showed up briefly in The Galileo Seven and Arena, and likewise started out as another character but was renamed after being cast. I don’t know how this situation managed to happen so often on TOS, but apparently it did. At least they both seem to have managed to hold onto more or less the same positions that they had the last time we saw them, a rare feat for any minor TOS crewmember.

The group walks forward towards some nearby farm buildings arranged around a dirt yard, with a horse-drawn cart sitting out in front of one of them. But there’s no horse to be seen, and no people either. They wander through the yard and over toward what looks like a paddock, but without any animals in it. Everything seems quite thoroughly deserted.

Kirk leans on the paddock fence and glumly muses, “Another dream that failed. There’s nothing sadder. It took these people a year to make the trip from Earth. They came all that way...and died.” Hold on, it took them a year? What, do they not give colony ships warp drives? Did they have to hitchhike here?

“Hardly that, sir,” someone says, and suddenly we see three men in green jumpsuits standing at the edge of the yard, looking very relaxed and also very not dead.

As the landing party all turn around to stare in shock the man in front strides forward and says, “Welcome to Omicron Ceti 3. I’m Elias Sandoval.” McCoy looks like he’s getting ready to spray the dude with holy water.

After the titles, we get a brief captain’s log to sum things up, just in case everyone forgot what happened during the commercial break:

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 3417.3. We thought our mission to Omicron Ceti 3 would be an unhappy one. We had expected to find no survivors of the agricultural colony there. Apparently, our information was incorrect.”

The colonists start happily shaking hands with the landing party—but happily as in “oh, it’s so nice to meet you” not “oh thank god you came to rescue us we’re all on the brink of death”. Sandoval says they haven’t seen anyone outside the colony since they left Earth four years ago, although they’ve been expecting someone to come by for a while. Apparently their subspace radio didn’t work right and they don’t have anyone who could “master its intricacies”. Now, I’m no expert on establishing colonies on alien planets, but ‘person who can work our only communication device’ does rather seem like a position you would want to make sure was filled before you left.

Kirk has to explain that they haven’t come to visit because of the dead radio. He does not explain why they did decide to come when they did. Spock’s comment about the colonists knowing there was a risk indicates that whether or not Bertold rays specifically were known about before the colonists left, they at least had reason to believe there was something dangerous about the planet. So why’d the Federation let them go and then wait another three years before sending anyone to check up on them? Eh, probably just another failing of twenty-third century space bureaucracy.

Sandoval’s not bothered about it, though. He tells Kirk that it doesn’t make much difference—the important thing is the party is here now and the colonists are happy to see them. Then he invites them on a tour of the settlement and casually strolls off, leaving the landing party to stand there and try to process what the hell they just witnessed.

“Pure speculation, just an educated guess...I’d say that man is alive,” McCoy says. Thanks Bones.

Spock says that his scans show that the planet is getting ray’d just as their reports indicated, so that’s not the issue. Under this intensity, the landing party could safely hang out here for a week if necessary, as per the usual Star Trek rule that you can be exposed to a deadly thing and be just fine up until the exact moment it kills you, but there’s a mighty big difference between a week and three years. Or as Kirk succinctly puts it, “These people shouldn’t be alive.”

“Is it possible they’re not?” Sulu asks. Great out of the box thinking there Sulu, love it.

Kirk takes a moment to consider that, which is fair—compared to the kind of weird shit they’ve encountered so far, the walking dead wouldn’t even stand out that much. But McCoy points out that when they shook hands with Sandoval, “His flesh was warm. He’s alive. There’s no doubt about that.” Spock fires back with a reminder that, “There’s no miracle connected with [Bertold rays], doctor, you know that. No cures, no serums, no antidotes. If a man is exposed long enough, he dies.” Okay dude, calm down, all McCoy said was “he’s alive” not “my god! Bertold rays have been fake all along! wake up sheeple!"

As Kirk points out, this whole debate is pretty pointless anyway for the moment—they’re arguing in a vacuum, and they’ll need more answers if they want to get anywhere. So they go to follow Sandoval, who leads them towards a nearby farm house, while a few colonists do various farm chores nearby. Sandoval explains that the colonists split into three groups, with forty-five people at this settlement and two more settlements elsewhere on the planet. Apparently they thought that arrangement would give each group a better chance for growth, since if some disaster struck one group the other two would probably still be alright.

“Omicron is an ideal agricultural planet,” he says. “We determined not to suffer the fate of the expeditions that went before us.” It’s rather vague what expeditions he’s referring to here, since at no other point in the episode are any previous attempts at settling Omicron Ceti 3 mentioned. But given that Sandoval specifically mentions the possibility of disease afflicting one group as a reason to split up, and Spock earlier said that Bertold rays were a recent discovery—and that the colonists knew coming to Omicron Ceti 3 was risky-- it seems possible that previous groups tried to settle the planet and, without knowing about the Bertold rays, mistook their effects for some kind of disease native to the planet. Of course that doesn’t explain why this group of colonists decided it would be a good idea to try to settle here again anyway, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few months, it’s that not everyone sees the possibility of dying to a terrible disease as a compelling reason to change their plans in any way.

As they stand in the farmhouse talking about this, a woman steps forward from another room in the house. She’s in soft focus, just in case we might forget she’s a woman, and instead of the green jumpsuit all the male colonists are wearing, she’s wearing green overalls over a lavender shirt, a combination that somehow manages to be an even worse fashion disaster than the jumpsuits themselves. She starts to say something to Sandoval, then stops in surprise as she sees the landing party. But for once the romance-o-vision isn’t for Kirk—it’s Spock that the camera zooms in on as the woman stares at him.

“Layla, come meet our guests,” Sandoval says cheerfully, oblivious to the wistfully romantic background music. He introduces her as Layla Colomi, their botanist. Layla says that she and Spock have met before, but “It’s been a long time.” Kirk gives Spock a bit of a side-eye for that, but Spock offers no details.

Well, all romantic tension aside, they do still have a mission to attend to here, as Kirk reminds Sandoval. Sandoval tells them to go ahead with any examinations or tests they want. “I think you’ll find our settlement an interesting one. Our philosophy is a simple one: that men should return to a less complicated life. We have few mechanical things here, no vehicles, no weapons. We have harmony here. Complete peace.” Oh yeah, that bodes well. Remember the last place we saw complete harmony and peace? At least that explains why everyone on this farm is using equipment straight out of Stardew Valley, which is presumably not the most advanced agricultural technology available by the twenty-third century. I’m not sure why Sandoval’s idea of a simpler lifestyle excludes vehicles, though. They’re not exactly the most recent thing on the timeline of human technological advancements.

Sandoval tells the landing party to make themselves at home, and they all head off. All except for Spock, who lingers just a few seconds more to give Layla a completely neutral look before walking away as well.

Everyone goes off to conduct their respective investigations. Sulu and Kelowitz wander through a yard over towards another farm building. Kelowitz isn’t sure what exactly they should be looking for, though. “Whatever doesn’t look right—whatever that is,” Sulu replies, climbing up to sit on a railing on the building’s porch. “When it comes to farms, I wouldn’t know what looked right or wrong if it were two feet from me.” I hope you enjoyed that line, because “didn’t grow up on a farm” is about all the backstory TOS is going to give us for Sulu until the movies.

[ID: Three screenshots showing Sulu pulling himself up to sit on the railing of an old-fashioned farmhouse as he says, "When it comes to farms, I wouldn't know what looked right or wrong if it were two feet from me." Growing up from the ground nearby are two large plants with thick brownish-purple stems and large pink flowers on top.]

Hey Sulu, what's that about two feet from you? Oh well, I'm sure it's not important.

Kelowitz opens up a nearby barn and notes that there’s no cows there—in fact, the barn isn’t even built for cows, just for storage, and indeed it only looks big enough to be useful for holding cow, singular. Having a storage barn isn’t itself that weird, although the fact that there is nothing currently stored in the storage barn is a bit strange. But also, as Sulu points out, come to think of it, they haven’t seen any animals here, native or imported. No cows, no horses, no pigs, not even a dog. Which is a bit odd for an agricultural colony. They must have had or expected to have animals at some point—otherwise what was pulling that cart?

Back in the house, Sandoval is asking Layla about Spock (once again referred to as a ‘Vulcanian’). She says that she knew Spock on Earth, six years ago. Sandoval, apparently having noticed the dreamy background music by now, asks if Layla loved Spock. She says that if she did, “it was important only to myself...Mr. Spock’s feelings were never expressed to me. It is said he has none to give.”

“Would you like him to stay with us now? To be one of us?” Sandoval asks. Layla smiles at him. “There is no choice, Elias,” she says. “He will stay.”

Elsewhere in the house, McCoy is scanning a colonist. He doesn’t look exactly happy with the tricorder result he gets, but all he says is, “That’ll be all, thank you very much,” and the colonist leaves, passing Kirk coming in. Incidentally, I can’t help but note that this room contains two paintings on the wall and what appears to be a cabinet full of china. I suppose the paintings could have been done by a colonist, but the china could surely only have been brought there. Who decided to pack fancy china on a year-long space voyage to an agricultural colony?

[ID: A shot of the interior of a farmhouse with blue walls, with a large wooden table in the middle of the room, a cabinet with china and glassware in the corner, a wooden desk with a copper tea kettle and some other kitchen items on it against the back wall, and a painting hanging on the wall showing some blurry trees. Sandoval, a middle-aged white man with short brown hair wearing a green jumpsuit, walks past the camera as he says, "Oh, captain, I've been looking for you."]

Kirk asks if McCoy’s found anything yet. McCoy replies that he’s surveyed nine men so far, ranging in age from twenty-three to fifty-nine. And they’re all in perfect condition. Not just healthy—perfect. Textbook responses across the board, from all of them. “If there are many more of them,” McCoy muses, “I can throw away my shingle.”

At that point Kirk’s communicator goes off. It’s Spock, calling in from one of the crop fields. He’s made the same observation as Sulu—there’s no life on the planet aside from the colonists and the plants. No animals, no insects. Spock doesn’t have any explanation yet, so Kirk tells him to carry on with his investigation and hangs up.

McCoy notes the absence of animals as peculiar, and Kirk says it’s especially so because the expedition records show that they did bring animals with them to raise for food. And pull their carts, presumably. But it seems none of them are still around. McCoy says he’d like to see the expedition’s medical records, a request Kirk has apparently anticipated because he’s got the floppy disc on hand with him.

Sandoval comes in and says that he’d like to take the two of them on a tour of the fields, to show off what the colony’s accomplished. McCoy says he’ll have to bow out, since he’s still working on the medical examinations. “However, if I find everyone else’s health to be as perfect as yours...”

“You’ll find no weaklings here,” Sandoval says, which uh, sure is a hell of a way to phrase that. “No weaklings! None of those miserable, pathetic sods with imperfect health! Only the strong survive! THE SLIGHTEST BLEMISH SHALL BE CAUSE FOR EXILE!”

Leaving McCoy behind, Kirk and Sandoval head out to the fields, where Sandoval gushes to Kirk about how great this place is: they’ve got moderate climate, moderate rains all year round, and the soil will grow anything they stick in it. Which is pretty miraculous, considering there’s no such thing as growing conditions that are perfect for every plant. But as we’re about to see, that’s not the only weird thing going on with their farming practices.

The conversation is interrupted by DeSalle arriving to give Kirk the biology report. Sandoval excuses himself to attend to work elsewhere, leaving Kirk and DeSalle alone to discuss the report. At first, it seems to be just as Sandoval said: they’ve got a variety of crops growing here successfully. The weird thing is that they don’t actually have very many of those crops. There’s enough to keep the colony going at the size it currently is, but barely more than that. Which tracks with what we’ve seen of the place so far: a couple of tiny fields that look more about the size for someone’s backyard garden than for a prosperous farm, tended by the occasional person idly scratching at the ground with a hoe. For a supposedly bounteous agricultural colony, that’s pretty weird. What have they been doing all this time?

“It’s like a jigsaw puzzle all one color,” Kirk muses, taking a moment to stroll a few steps away so he can say this dramatically in the distance instead of actually talking to DeSalle. “No key to where the pieces fit in. Why?”

Kirk’s communicator goes off. It’s McCoy, saying Kirk had better get back over there. “Trouble?” “No, but I’d like you to see this for yourself.” Of course. No one can ever just explain something over the phone, can they.

So Kirk heads back to the house, where the thing that Kirk just absolutely has to see for himself turns out to be McCoy just telling him what he’s found out, but he definitely couldn't do that over the communicator for, uh, reasons. What he’s found out is pretty interesting, though: McCoy checked up on Sandoval’s medical records from right before the colonists had left, which said that Sandoval had had an appendectomy, and had scar tissue on his lungs from childhood pneumonia (the weakling!). Yet when McCoy scanned Sandoval himself today, the results came back just as perfect as all the other colonists’. Kirk’s first thought is instrument failure, but McCoy says no, he thought of that and tested it by scanning himself, and it recorded him just fine, down to “those two broken ribs I had once.” Which sounds like an interesting story. But Sandoval’s scan? No scar tissue, and one healthy appendix. That’s right, Sandoval’s apparently managed to regrow an entire organ. Do you think you would notice that happening? Like, would it itch?

While Kirk and McCoy try to figure that out, Spock is hanging out in a field scanning with his own tricorder, while Layla stands nearby smiling ominously at him. Spock muses that there’s “Nothing. Not even insects. Yet your plants grow, and you’ve survived exposure to Bertold rays.” Yeah, how are those plants growing without insects? Presumably the native plants have evolved some way around that, but the ones the colonists have brought from Earth would need some help. Are the colonists just manually pollinating everything? Maybe that’s why they haven’t grown very much.

Layla says this can be explained, but when asked to do so, she just says, “Later.” Spock looks annoyed and remarks, “I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question.” Hey! Cut that bullshit out. No one on this colony has directly answered a question since you got here, there’s no call to go ragging on a whole gender for it. Besides, just saying “Later,” is hardly a stunningly deft diversion, it’s not like she threw a smoke bomb down and disappeared.

“And I never understood you,” Layla says, walking over and placing a hand on his chest. “Until now. There was always a place in here where no one could come. There was only the face you allow people to see. Only one side you’d allow them to know.”

[ID: Three screenshots of Spock and Layla, a white woman with a lot of long blonde hair wearing a lilac shirt and green overalls, standing outside in a field with a large tree in the background. Layla, seen from behind, is pressing her hand to Spock's upper chest and saying, "There was always a place in here where no one could come." Spock replies "you know that's not where my heart is right".]

If Layla was hoping this little speech would prompt Spock to cry out that yes, she’s figured him out, he does love her but has never been able to show it! she’s disappointed, because he just looks uncomfortable and steps away. He tries to steer the conversation back onto the mystery of the colonists. “If I tell you how we survive,” she asks, “will you try to understand how we feel about our life here? About each other?”

That’s a pretty vague thing to make a promise about, so Spock deflects by saying that emotions are alien to him; he’s a SCIENTIST. “Someone else might believe that—your shipmates, your captain—but not me,” Layla says. Oh sure! Obviously none of the people who have lived, worked, and risked death alongside Spock can be expected to know anything about Spock. Only you are the Spock Expert, gifted with incredible insight by virtue of having a crush on him.

“Come,” she says, sauntering off through the field with her hand outstretched to him. Spock rather pointedly folds his hands behind his back instead and follows her.

Back in the house, Kirk and McCoy are struggling to have a conversation with Sandoval. Kirk tells Sandoval that he’s received orders from Starfleet Command to evacuate everyone on the colony, since, y’know, deadly rays and all that. He expects Sandoval to start making preparations. But Sandoval, calmly, casually, says, “No.” It’s not necessary, he insists—they’re in no danger.

But...but the Bertold rays. Sandoval is unmoved, pointing out that as McCoy’s own instruments show, the colonists are in perfect health and there have been no deaths. Okay, what about all those animals? What happened to them? “We’re vegetarians,” Sandoval says blithely. Which, as Kirk points out, does absolutely nothing to answer the question. Actually it raises further questions.

Sandoval remains thoroughly unbothered and thoroughly unhelpful. “Captain, you stress very unimportant matters. We will not leave,” he says, and goes back to gazing out the window, evidently considering the conversation over.

Elsewhere, Spock and Layla are still walking, and Spock is getting annoyed that Layla still hasn’t explained just what it is they’re going to see. “Its basic properties and elements are not important,” Layla says helpfully. “What is important is that it gives life, peace, love.” Oh boy.

Spock is dubious, but Layla pulls him forward, over towards another one of those large pink flowers. “I was one of the first to find them,” Layla says. “The spores.”

[ID: A gif of Spock approaching a large pinkish-purple flower and saying, "Spores?" The flower then sprays a cloud of white spores all over his face and torso while Spock recoils.]

For a moment Spock just looks startled, but then he starts clutching his head and falling onto his knees in the grass, dropping his tricorder and gasping, “No--” For the first time all episode, Layla’s absolute serenity starts to fracture slightly. Over Spock’s agonized protests, she insists that it shouldn’t hurt—it didn’t hurt any of them. But, as Spock gasps out, he’s not like them. Whoops, did the biologist forget to account for biological differences before handing out a facefull of spores? I bet you didn’t even check if he had any allergies first, did you?

Just as it’s looking like this might put actually put a crack in Layla’s blissed-out impassivity, Spock stops thrashing about and starts seeming less anguished and more confused. Layla’s concern vanishes once again, and she goes back to smiling happily while stroking his face. “Now...now you belong to all of us...and we to you. There’s no need to hide your inner face any longer. We understand.”

Spock still seems unsure, but then he takes Layla’s hand in his and smiles. Not the slight hint of a smile or sardonic quirk of the lips you’d expect to see from Spock, but a huge, broad grin from ear to ear. “I love you...I can love you,” he says, and then he kisses her.

Hoo boy.

After the break, we get a quick Captain’s Log to recap:

“Captain’s Log, supplemental. We have been ordered by Starfleet Command to evacuate the colony on Omicron 3. However, the colony leader, Elias Sandoval, has refused all cooperation and will not listen to any arguments.”

Sure enough, we see Sandoval exiting the farmhouse, followed by McCoy and an extremely frustrated Kirk. “Captain, your arguments are very valid, but do they not apply to us,” Sandoval says, as calm as ever. He tries to walk off, but Kirk grabs his arm and pulls him back.

“My orders are to remove all the colonists,” he says, “and that’s exactly what I intend to do with or without your help.”

“Without, I should think,” Sandoval says, and strolls off, leaving Kirk standing there fuming.

Sulu and Kelowitz come walking up to report that they’ve checked out everything and it all seems normal, except for the missing animals. Of course, they also both said they had no idea what to look for in the first place, so maybe take that with a grain of salt. Kirk tells them about the evacuation orders, and says he wants landing parties to start gathering the colonists and preparing them to leave. And by the way, where did Spock and DeSalle go? Sulu says they haven’t seen either one in some time, but McCoy says DeSalle was going to examine some native plants he found. Native plants, huh? I think we can guess what happened to DeSalle.

Since Spock still hasn’t reported in, Kirk gives him a call. Or tries to, at least—Spock doesn’t pick up. On the other end of the line, we see why that is: Spock's communicator is laying abandoned on the ground, while Spock himself, now dressed in the same horrible green jumpsuit as the colonists, is stretched out on the grass with Layla, watching clouds. The communicator beeps away while Spock happily describes how one of the clouds looks like a dragon. "I've never seen a dragon," Layla says. BEEP BEEP. "I have." BEEP BEEP. "On Barengarius 7." BEEP BEEP. "But I've never stopped to look at clouds before." BEEP BEEP. "Or rainbows." BEEP BEEP. "You know, I can tell you exactly why one appears in the sky, but considering its beauty has always been out of the question." BEEP BEEP.

"Not here," Layla says (beep beep), and they smile dreamily at each other before going into another makeout session. Meanwhile, Kirk is still on the line, and not getting any happier about it. Layla finally picks up the communicator and holds it up for Spock, who takes a break from kissin' to say, "Yes, what did you want?"

Naturally, this throws both Kirk and McCoy for a loop. While McCoy stands there with a "what the fuck" look on his face, Kirk takes a moment to recover and then demands, "Spock, is that you?"

"Yes, captain, what did you want?"

"Where are you?"

"...I don't believe I want to tell you."

[ID: Three shots of Kirk and McCoy standing in front of the farmhouse, Kirk holding his communicator while McCoy looks on. Kirk has a stunned expression on his face and looks around with his mouth open, trying to figure out what to say.]

Kirk plows on ahead, telling Spock that, whatever the hell he thinks he's doing, he's got orders: they're getting the colonists out, and Spock is to meet back at the settlement in ten minutes.

"No, I don't think so," Spock says casually. "You don't think so, what?" "I don't think so, sir."

Kirk has to take a moment after that one. It's rather amazing that McCoy's made it this far into the conversation without saying anything himself. Presumably he's just in shock. Eventually Kirk tells Spock to report in immediately, but by now Spock and Layla have gone back to kissing, leaving the communicator open but abandoned in the grass once more.

"That didn't sound at all like Spock, Jim," McCoy says, putting in his bid for the Enterprise’s bi-weekly Massive Understatement contest.

"No, it--I thought you said you might like him if he mellowed a little."

"I didn't say that!"

"You said that."

"Not exactly,” McCoy protests, and then somewhat grudgingly adds, “He might be in trouble.”

I'm sure McCoy did say that, or something like it, but "I hope Spock has his brain taken over by alien spores" was presumably not where he was going with it. He obviously sees this sudden change of behavior as something to be concerned about--even moreso than Kirk, who seems more irritated than anything. But then, it's only been a couple episodes since McCoy had his own run-in with an alien influence making people act a lot more mellow than usual, and he didn't enjoy that experience at all, so it's not surprising that "trouble" is his first thought here.

Kirk tells McCoy to take over the landing party detail and start getting the colonists up to the ship, and to make sure the party works in teams of two, with nobody being left alone. Meanwhile, Kirk himself takes Sulu and Kelowitz and heads off to find Spock, using the open frequency from Spock's communicator as a homing signal. They follow a dirt path out of the main settlement and soon find said communicator, laying open and abandoned in the grass just off the path. As Kirk picks it up, they hear laughter nearby, and Sulu points in astonishment further down the path, where Layla is watching Spock dangle upside-down from a tree branch like a kid on a jungle gym.

[ID: A shot of Spock and Layla among some trees at the end of a dirt path. Layla is standing on the ground and holding hands with Spock, who is hanging upside-down by his knees from a large tree branch, laughing.]

For a moment all Kirk can do is stare weakly at this weird spectacle. Then he collects himself with a stern AHEM and marches over like a principal about to deliver some very serious detention.

Meanwhile, back at the main hub of the colony, the landing party seems to have gotten well underway with preparations for departure, with several colonists and crewmen piling up luggage and equipment in the middle of a field while McCoy stands nearby overseeing everything, a job I’m sure he’s enjoying since we all know administrative work is McCoy’s favorite thing. Then DeSalle arrives, carrying a couple of the spore flowers and tells McCoy to take “a good, close look” at them, because they’re very interesting. McCoy steps forward to check them out right before the scene cuts away again, leaving us with little doubt as to what’s about to happen next.

During that little interim, Kirk and his crew have made it over to where Spock and Layla are cavorting. Spock just grins happily at Kirk, clearly not bothered one bit, even as Kirk asks if Spock’s out of his mind. He didn’t report to Kirk, he says, because...he didn’t want to.

Kirk glances back and forth between Spock and Layla, who’s standing there smiling rather smugly, and tells Layla that she’ll need to come get ready to evacuate with the rest of the colonists. Spock cheerfully says that there’s not going to be any evacuation. “But perhaps,” he adds, “we should go and get you straightened out.”

That really doesn’t bode well, but rather than ask just what Spock means by that, Kirk tells Sulu that Spock is under arrest in Sulu’s custody until they get back to the ship. Which will certainly work out well because it’s not like Spock is strong enough to chuck Sulu all the way across the field barehanded or anything. Not that Spock seems especially perturbed about being under arrest; instead he just shrugs, drops down from the tree, and says, “Very well. Come with me,” before heading off across the field, leaving else to follow in confusion. That’s how you arrest someone, right?

Of course, Spock leads them right to another group of spore flowers, which the group stops and stares at obligingly for a moment. Then the flowers explode a bunch of spores at them. Somehow, even though he’s standing right next to Sulu and Kelowitz, Kirk manages to totally avoid getting any spores up his sinuses, while the other two are immediately affected. “Yes...I see now,” Sulu says blissfully, with that trademark Very High grin that George Takei does so well. “Of course we can’t remove the colony. It’d be wrong.”

Kirk grabs him by the shoulders—Kirk’s go-to method for snapping people out of it--but when this somehow fails to bring Sulu back to his right mind, all Kirk can do is say that he doesn’t know what these plants are or how they work, but “you’re all going back to the settlement with me, and those colonists are going aboard the ship.” This stern proclamation has absolutely no effect on anyone. The whole group just stands there happily watching Kirk stomp back toward the colony. “I can see the captain is going to be difficult,” Spock remarks.

Kirk’s day isn’t about to get any better, because upon making it back to the colony he’s greeted by McCoy, who we can immediately tell is under the influence as well because his accent is absolutely out of control. It’s so thick even the subtitles pick up on it.

[ID: A screenshot of McCoy walking through a meadow with his communicator out, saying, "Sho’nuf."]

“Hiya, Jimmy boy!” McCoy very happily says to a very unhappy Kirk. “Hey, I’ve taken care of everything. Now all y’all gotta do is just relax. Doctor’s orders!” With a very resigned look, Kirk asks how many plants McCoy’s beamed up to the ship, and McCoy says it must be going on a hundred by now.

So Kirk beams up to the ship and heads right to the bridge, where he tells Uhura to put him through to Admiral Komak at Starfleet, though what he expects Komak to do about all this I don't know. But it’s too late. Uhura turns around to show that she’s smiling as happily as everyone else, and says, “Oh, I’m sorry Dave, I mean, captain. I can’t do that.” She’s short-circuited all the ship’s communications, except for ship-to-surface, since they’ll need that for a little while yet. Then she leaves, pausing in the door of the lift to tell Kirk that it’s really all for the best.

Kirk stands there seething for a moment, then stomps over to grab a plant that’s been left in Spock’s chair. He throws it across the bridge, and the camera lingers ominously on it as Kirk heads back into the lift.

Things aren’t any better on the rest of the ship. Kirk soon finds a long line of crewmembers of all different shirt colors, patiently waiting to transport down to join the colony. Out of what I can only assume is some desperate futile hope that someone will follow his orders if he just keeps trying, Kirk orders them all to go back to their stations at once. Unsurprisingly, they all ignore him. Kirk points out to one of the redshirts that this is MUTINY! but it doesn't get him very far.

[ID: A gif showing a young white man with brown hair wearing a redshirt as he says, "Yes, sir, it is." The camera then zooms in very dramatically on Kirk's stunned face.]

So...they’re all going down to join the colony? All four hundred thirty of them? Or four hundred twenty-nine, I guess, if Kirk refuses to join the fun. That’s almost ten times the amount of people the colony currently has in it. That seems like it could present a bit of a problem, because if you’ll recall DeSalle told Kirk earlier that right now the colony’s growing enough food to feed their current population, with little left over. How are they going to handle such a large and sudden influx into their population? Do they have housing for all these people? Or are they just all going to eat dirt and sleep on the ground because they’re all too high to notice anyway?

After we’ve had a commercial break to contemplate this shocking turn of events, Kirk takes some time out to give vent to his feelings in a captain’s log:

"Captain's Log, Stardate 3417.5. The pod plants have spread spores throughout the ship, carried by the ventilation system. Under their influence, my crew is deserting to join the Omicron colony, and I can't stop them. I don't know why I have not been infected, nor can I get Doctor McCoy to explain the physical, psychological aspects of the infection."

And indeed, just in case we had any doubt, we then see McCoy strolling through the field and happily telling Kirk, “I’m not interested in any physical, psychological aspects, Jim-boy. We all perfectly healthy down here.” Kirk grumbles about how much he’s been hearing about things being perfect lately. “I bet you’ve even grown your tonsils back.” “Sho’nuf!”

Kirk tries desperately to get McCoy to do something to figure these spores out—run a blood test, take a scan, type the symptoms into WebMD, something, anything—but McCoy is more interested in rambling on about mint juleps. Meanwhile, back in the farmhouse, Sandoval’s having tea with Spock while they talk about how nearly everyone’s beamed down from the ship and things are “proceeding quite well.” Kirk storms in and demands to know where McCoy’s gotten to, and Spock says he went off to make that mint julep. Which could prove quite difficult unless this tiny half-assed farm colony has somehow managed to set up a working distillery around here somewhere, but Kirk’s got bigger concerns right now than where McCoy’s going to get his bourbon.

Sandoval wants to know why Kirk won’t join them in their private, spore-sponsored paradise. Kirk asks where these spores came from, anyway, and Spock exposits that there’s no way to know—they just drifted through space until they arrived at this planet, which is perfect for them because it turns out they actually thrive on Bertold rays. The plants act as a repository for the spores until they can find a human—or half-Vulcan—body to inhabit. No explanation is forthcoming as to how Spock knows any of this.

Spock and Sandoval insist that the planet is “a true Eden” with belonging and love and no needs or wants for anyone, but Kirk is skeptical. “No wants, no needs. We weren’t meant for that. None of us. Man stagnates if he has no ambition, no desire to be more than he is.” Of all the things wrong with this situation I’m not sure “BEING TOO HAPPY IS BAD FOR YOU” is the take I would go with, but okay. Spock says that Kirk doesn’t understand, but he’ll come around...sooner or later.

Kirk, disgusted with this whole conversation, goes back to the ship. The bridge is dark, silent, and utterly empty. We get a slow pan of the blinking lights and displays of the consoles, with no one left to man them. Kirk walks over to his chair, hits the intercom, and starts calling one part of the ship after another, with no response from any of them. With nothing else left to do, he sits down in his chair and starts glumly recording a captain’s log so angsty it could be a LiveJournal entry:

"Captain's Log, Stardate 3417.7. Except for myself, all crew personnel have transported to the surface of the planet. Mutinied. Lieutenant Uhura has effectively sabotaged the communications station. I can only contact the surface of the planet. The ship...can be maintained in orbit for several months, but even with automatic controls, I cannot pilot her alone. In effect, I am marooned here. I'm beginning to realize...just how big this ship really is, how quiet. I don't know how to get my crew back, how to counteract the effect of the spores. I don't know what I can offer against...paradise."

Hold on hold on HOLD ON what do you MEAN the ship can be maintained in orbit for several months? Every time someone takes their hands off the controls for five seconds we get told that the orbit is decaying and they’re gonna plummet into some hapless planet within a few hours at most but now all of a sudden it’s fine to hang out up there for several months? MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

Kirk gets up to go sit at the helm, just to get a change of scenery mid-mope, and as he finishes his log/rant the camera slowly pans down to reveal the spore flower that he chucked across the bridge earlier. Which is weird because we just got a wide shot of the bridge and that flower definitely wasn’t there then.

[ID: Two shots. The first is a wide shot showing Kirk alone on the empty, darkened bridge, preparing to sit down at the helm. There is nothing in on the floor in front of the helm. The second shot is a closer shot of Kirk sitting at the helm with his chin in one hand, now with a large spore flower poking up in the front of shot.]

The flower promptly shoots Kirk in the face, and for a moment he just continues to sit there with spores in his hair and a “yeah, this might as well happen” expression. But then he slowly starts to smile, suddenly as happy as everyone else. Exactly why Kirk’s been unaffected by the spores up until now, even after hanging out for quite a while on a ship that’s supposedly been thoroughly contaminated by them, is never really explained. Maybe he's just on a lot of Zyrtec. But it seems even Kirk’s determination to not be happy can’t hold out against a point-blank spray in the face. He calls Spock to say that he finally understands now, which Spock is happy to hear. Kirk says he’ll be down just as soon as he packs up a few things, so Spock says he and Layla will wait for him at the beamdown point.

So Kirk goes off to his quarters to pack up a suitcase, the contents of which seem to mostly consist of uniform shirts. Apparently paradise for Kirk does not include one of those green jumpsuits, which, really, who can blame him. He opens a small vault by his bed and pulls out a couple of black cases, one of which he opens to reveal a medal. This seems to stir some sense of conflict because he sits down and stares at it for a long moment, but then puts it aside and heads to the transporter room, where he puts the suitcase on the platform and then prepares to set the controls.

But then Kirk hesitates, and stands there for a moment looking conflicted. Possibly he’s still having feelings about those medals, or maybe he’s having second thoughts about whether he packed enough shirts. In any case, he eventually exclaims, “No...No! I...can’t...LEAVE!” Then he punches the console for good measure.

Apparently this little emotional outburst is all it takes to cure the spores, because Kirk gasps a little, looks momentarily confused, and then seems to be back to his old self. “Emotions...violent emotions. Needs...anger,” he tells the empty room. “Captain’s log, supplemental. I think I’ve discovered the answer...but to carry out my plan entails considerable risk. Mr. Spock is much stronger than the ordinary human being.” Then he treats us to this remarkable line:

[ID: A shot of Kirk in profile at the transporter controls as he says, "Aroused, his great physical strength could kill."]

Down on the planet, Spock and Layla are still waiting at the beamdown point when Kirk calls Spock up and says he’s realized there’s some equipment on the ship that they’ll need for the colony, and he needs Spock’s help to get it all beamed down. Really, you’d think there’d be quite a lot of equipment on the Enterprise that a farming colony could make good use of, but I guess they’re really determined to stick to the whole no-technology approach. Despite this, Spock cheerfully accepts the explanation, gives Layla a quick smooch, and beams up.

But upon materializing, Spock is greeted not with a smiling Kirk ready to go move some equipment with his bro, but Kirk standing there holding some nonspecific heavy metal rod thing that he’s smacking threatening against his hand. “All right, you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed,” he says, “we’ll see about you deserting my ship.”

Spock reacts to this bar-brawl-starter with nothing more than a nonplussed expression and polite correcting Kirk on his syntax. Kirk, determination unshaken, continues laying into him with a stream of insults that would have made that fucker from Balance of Terror go, “Whoa, hold on there a minute.” Undeterred by not being able to use any actual expletives, he compares Spock both to a machine and to various fairy-tale creatures, makes fun of his ears, and rounds it all off by having a go at the entire Vulcan race. He even insults Spock’s parents.

[ID: 1. A shot of Spock standing in the transporter room looking perplexed as Kirk, off-camera, says, "Whose father was a computer and his mother an encyclopedia?" 2. A gif from Monty Python and the Holy Grail of John Cleese as the French knight on the battlements yelling, "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"]

Spock stands there taking it all stoically for quite a while, even as the background music gets increasingly tense. He finally starts to crack when Kirk goes after Spock’s relationship with Layla, and when Kirk keeps going despite Spock angrily telling him, “That’s enough,” Spock finally flips out big time. You know what that means, it’s time for a STAR TREK FIGHT SCENE! This one’s got it all: close-up shots of the actors intercut with long shots of very obvious stunt doubles; cardboard props getting punched; even people picking up random unidentifiable bits of starship equipment that may or may not have ever been there before to use as weapons. The only thing we’re missing is Kirk doing some kind of weird wrestling move.

[ID: Three gifs showing a fight scene between Kirk and Spock. First we see a long shot where Kirk and Spock are clearly being played by stunt doubles, as Spock punches a metal rod Kirk is holding, bending it in half. He then punches Kirk in the jaw, sending him careening into the wall. Then a close-up of Nimoy and Shatner as Spock advances on Kirk and throws a punch but misses, denting the control panel in the wall behind Kirk. Kirk dodges out of the way towards the console, and Spock throws another punch that hits the side of the console. Then back to a long view with the stunt doubles as Spock throws Kirk into the opposite wall, which Kirk careens off of, falling on his back on the floor, while Spock picks up something resembling a square metal stool or stepladder and raises it over his head. Finally, we see Nimoy and Shatner again as Kirk lays on the floor looking up at Spock, raising the thing he's carrying over his head.]

We dramatically cut to black as Spock stands poised above Kirk, raising whatever-the-hell-that-thing-is over his head threateningly. Apparently the ad break gives him enough time to cool down, though, because instead of bringing the thing down on Kirk’s skull, he hesitates.

“Had enough?” Kirk asks. “I didn’t realize what it took to get under that thick hide of yours.”

Spock slowly lowers the thing, looking a bit regretful about having to do so. Kirk says he doesn’t know what Spock’s so mad about, anyway. “It isn’t every first officer who gets to belt his captain...several times.” Dude, you just stood there and unleashed a screed of personal and racial insults at your best friend here. A “sorry” probably wouldn’t go amiss here.

“You did that to me deliberately,” Spock realizes, and then realizes that the spores are gone. “I don’t belong anymore.” Kirk explains that since the spores are “benevolent and peaceful,” violent emotions overwhelm and destroy them—that’s the answer. Which...definitely makes sense, chemically speaking. Sure.

Spock, still looking pretty glum about all this, points out that Kirk’s method might have worked out alright for curing one person, but they’ve got over five hundred infected people down there, and trying to pick a fight with all of them probably isn’t going to go so well. But no worries, Kirk’s got another plan. He wants Spock to rig up a subsonic transmitter that they can hook up to the ship’s communications system and then broadcast to all the communicators. Spock says he can do that, but hesitates as Kirk turns to leave. “Captain. Striking a fellow officer is a court martial offense,” he points out.

Kirk mulls over that one for a moment. “We-ll...if we’re both in the brig, who’s gonna build the subsonic transmitter?” he says, and Spock concedes the point. Besides, it’s a bit late to be worrying about striking fellow officers now.

[ID: A gif from The Naked Time of Kirk and Spock standing in an Enterprise conference room. Kirk slaps Spock across the face, and Spock retaliates by backhanding Kirk so hard he is thrown across the table in the center of the room and falls onto the floor on the other side.]

But what with the insults and the punching and de-sporing and everything, it seems that something has clean slipped Spock’s mind: Layla’s still down there waiting for him to come back. As she stands around the field, McCoy wanders over and asks what’s up. When she tells him that she’s been out here for some time now waiting for Spock and Kirk to come back, he gentlemanly offers to fix that for her and calls the ship. Spock picks up, and Layla asks if everything’s okay up there.

With obvious discomfort, Spock tells her that yes, he’s...quite well. Layla, oblivious to anything being wrong, asks if she can come up there, because she wants to talk to him, and besides, “I’ve never seen a starship before.” Wait a minute, never seen a starship before? You’re on a planetary colony! What, did you drive here?

Spock asks if she’s still at the beamdown point, and if McCoy’s there. Layla says yes to both, so Spock tells her to give the communicator back to McCoy, since she won’t need it to transport, and he’ll have her beamed up in a few minutes. One might think that at this point they might take this easy opportunity to also beam up McCoy and get him cured (it shouldn’t be hard, McCoy is already 85% comprised of negative emotions to begin with), so he can start investigating these spores, just in case Operation Go For the Eardrums doesn’t work. But they don’t. Kirk awkwardly asks Spock if he’s sure about talking to Layla while she’s still spore’d, but Spock just nods and heads to the transporter room.

He beams Layla up, and she happily runs over to give him a hug—they’ve been parted ever so long, after all—but when he just stands there stiffly, not reacting at all, she slowly pulls back and says, “You’re no longer with us, are you?”

Spock says it was necessary. Layla begs him to come back to the planet and belong again, but he says he can’t. She starts crying and saying she loves him. "I said that six years ago, and I can't seem to stop repeating myself. On Earth, you couldn't give anything of yourself. You couldn't even put your arms around me. We couldn't have anything together there. We couldn't have anything together anyplace else. But we're happy here. I can't lose you now, Mr. Spock, I can't." Look, if the only time the relationship you want can possibly work out is when the other person is being mind-controlled by alien spores, I think it may be time to consider whether this is really a relationship you should be pursuing in the first place.

“I have a responsibility to this ship...to that man on the bridge,” Spock gently tells her. “I am what I am, Layla. And if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else’s.”

Layla soon realizes that all this anguish has resulted in her getting de-spore’d as well, and she’s not happy about it. “And this is for my own good?” she demands angrily. Well...yes, I mean, it is, but Spock doesn’t say that. Nor does he respond when she asks, “Do you mind if I say I still love you?” but she hugs him again anyway.

[ID: Layla tearfully embraces Spock and says, "You never told me if you had another name, Mr. Spock." Spock replies, "You couldn't pronounce it."]

ROMANCE

We’re obviously supposed to read this little story arc as the tragic tale of true love destined never to be, because Spock is only able to express his feelings for Layla under the influence of the spores. He has experienced paradise, but alas, he cannot linger there, and so on. It’s never set all that well with me, though. The problem is we never really get Spock’s side of the story and so it leaves open the question of how much he actually did want this relationship in the first place. Layla said earlier that “Mr. Spock’s feelings were never expressed to me” so evidently he never outright said “I love you but I can’t be with you” or anything of that sort to her. When they’re alone in the field before Spock gets spore’d he seems stiff, standoffish, awkward, and deflects all of her overtures with what appears to be discomfort, even annoyance. He clearly has no interest in talking about whatever history they had together, even when they’re all alone. For all that Layla goes on about how she can see a side of Spock that his crewmates don’t, we see interactions with those crewmates multiple times throughout the show that prove that Spock is perfectly capable of showing people that he cares about them, even if the ways he does it are usually a bit atypical. We don’t see any of that in his initial interactions with Layla.

If we accept the premise that the spores only make people act as they would if they had no inhibitions or fears holding them back, then yes, Spock saying he loves Layla after he’s been spore’d would indicate that he did secretly love her all along. The problem is that we know the spores make people do things that they would not ordinarily want to do. You think all of those four hundred thirty people on the Enterprise secretly longed for a quiet life among the soil but all chose to instead join the space navy for some reason? Should we believe Scotty is actually deep down perfectly okay with abandoning his beloved ship to a slowly decaying orbit? I doubt that Kirk has always harbored a subconscious desire to give up exploring the final frontier to pursue a peaceful agrarian lifestyle, but he very nearly does do just that. So the question of how much a relationship with Layla is what Spock “really” wanted seems to be a bit hazy.

Mind, I’m not saying this makes Layla an evil person who deliberately drugged Spock so she could have a relationship with him or anything like that. It’s clear throughout the episode that the spores induce those who are infected by them to spread them around to anyone nearby who’s not in the spore fandom yet, so there’s no reason to believe Layla would act as she did if she wasn’t under the influence herself. I just personally find it hard to buy into the tragic romance of a star-crossed relationship when the thing crossing the stars is that one of the participants is only enthusiastic about the whole thing when they’re not fully sober. It makes me question how much of their previous relationship really was Spock having feelings for Layla but being unable to express them, versus Layla projecting a lot of feelings onto him and writing off his disinterest or discomfort as denial.

Kirk and Spock go back to working on the signal, while Layla deals with her heartbreak by disappearing into thin air for the rest of the episode. Spock says that the sound they’re going to send out is on a frequency that won’t be heard so much as felt, but apparently it will be felt quite emphatically. Kirk compares it to putting itching powder on someone. Which may seem like another silly technobabble deus ex machina, but speaking from personal experience, driving someone into a frantic frustrated fit by playing an obnoxious noise just on the edge of hearing sounds totally legit. All they need to complete the sensory overload meltdown experience is find a way to simulate some flickering florescent lights and put tags on the backs of the uniform shirts.

And indeed, as the device starts to work, we see Sulu and DeSalle working in one of the fields—for a certain value of ‘working,’ anyway, they’re kind of just digging around aimlessly—when Sulu accidentally elbows DeSalle in the back. He apologizes, but DeSalle shoves him back, and before long they’re having a full-on brawl right there in the field, which can't be good for the crops. As the device on the ship hums away, two more crewmembers start their own fight over by the farmhouse, and when a third tries to break them up he promptly gets dragged into it as well.

The effects haven’t quite reached everyone just yet, though, as we see McCoy chillaxing under a tree with some unspecified concoction. Sandoval strolls up and says that he’s been thinking about what sort of work he could assign McCoy to. When McCoy protests that he does one kind of work and that’s doctorin’, Sandoval says that he’s not a doctor anymore—they don’t need any doctors here.

This does not go over well.

[ID: A gif showing McCoy reclining against a tree in a grassy meadow, a stalk of grass in one hand and a grass of something brown with several leafy stalks in it. Sandoval is standing over him. McCoy says, "Oh, no?" and then slowly stands up, tosses his grass stalk aside, looks Sandoval in the eye and says, "Would you like to see just how fast I can put you in a hospital?"]

Undeterred, Sandoval says that he’s the leader and he’ll be assigning McCoy whatever work he wants to, but when he tries to walk away McCoy pulls him back and snarls, “You’d better make me a mechanic. Then I can treat little tin gods like you.” Sandoval throws a punch at him, but McCoy dodges and whacks Sandoval in the stomach, putting him out flat on the ground. See, I told you it wouldn’t be hard to cure McCoy. Everyone else on the Enterprise was perfectly happy to give up their careers to go do a bit of light farming, but tell McCoy he can’t be a doctor anymore and no amount of spores are going to save you.

While Sandoval is busy rolling around on the ground, McCoy stands there looking confused for a moment, then—presumably having only just now noticed that instead of a mint julep he’s actually been drinking a coke with a bunch of cilantro in it—throws his drink aside and admits that he’s not sure why he just clobbered Sandoval. But Sandoval has other concerns for the moment. With a look of dawning horror familiar to all us chronic procrastinators, he abruptly realizes that they haven’t actually been doing anything all this time. “No accomplishments, no progress. Three years wasted. We wanted to make this planet a garden...”

McCoy points out that the colonists really will have to leave—they can’t survive here without the spores handling all that radiation for them. But the dream’s not over; the colonists could be relocated to start again somewhere a bit less deadly, if that’s what they want.

“I think I’d...I think we’d like to get some work done,” Sandoval muses. “The work we set out to do.”

McCoy calls Spock and says that Sandoval wants to talk to Kirk. Spock notes to Kirk that the crew are all starting to rather sheepishly call in by now. Sandoval tells Kirk that the colonists will fully cooperate with the evacuation now, and Kirk tells him to start making the preparations. Real ones, this time.

Sometime later, everyone’s back on the bridge getting ready to head out. McCoy reports that he’s examined all the colonists and they all remain in perfect health. “A fringe benefit left over by the spores.”

One would think that this would have been quite the eventful afternoon for the medical sciences, given that they just discovered spores with such incredible healing powers that they can make people regrow organs, and McCoy just confirmed that anything healed by the spores stays healed after the spores are gone. Sure, they’ve got some side effects, but Kirk’s already discovered a simple way to get rid of the things once they’re no longer needed. Strap someone to a bed, give em a facemask full of spores, let them lay there for a while having a nice buzz while they heal their cancer or whatever, then play an irritating noise at them until they sneeze the spores back out again. Boom. Done. You’ve solved medicine. Or, y’know, we could vacate the planet and never speak of it ever again, that works too.

Notably unmentioned by anybody during this little denouement is the fate of the other two settlements on the planet that Sandoval mentioned back near the beginning of the episode. The length of the timeskip isn’t specified, so it’s possible that the crew went and collected them as well in the interim, but we never get any details as to how that little adventure went, assuming that it did happen and that the Enterprise isn’t about to get halfway to the next starbase before Kirk realizes he forgot something.

As they watch the planet diminish behind them on the viewscreen, McCoy muses that this was “the second time man’s been thrown out of paradise.” Kirk disagrees. "No, no, Bones, this time we walked out on our own. Maybe we weren't meant for paradise. Maybe we were meant to fight our way through--struggle, claw our way up, scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute. We must march to the sound of drums."

Spock remains unimpressed by this bit of philosophizing. “Poetry, Captain. Nonregulation.” Kirk notes that they haven’t heard anything from Spock about this whole ordeal, since, y’know, that definitely seems like something Spock would want to talk about. He says he’s got little to say about Omicron Ceti 3.

[ID: A close-up of Spock on the bridge as he says, "Except that for the first time in my life...I was happy."]

oh my god someone needs therapy

On that INCREDIBLY CHEERFUL note, the Enterprise flies away and the episode ends.

It’s somewhat baffling to me that of all the quite reasonable objections available to the whole situation with the spores, the main problem that Kirk—and by extension, the episode—seems to have is that “the spores make things too EASY and mankind was meant to STRUGGLE!!!” I mean, effectively what we had going on here was people being drugged without their consent into a state that overwrote their own desires, ambitions, emotions and much of their individual personalities and replaced them with bland, happy conformity to a goal and lifestyle none of them actually chose. That seems a bit worse to me than “people weren’t working hard enough.” Kirk goes on and on about how the spores made things too easy, but what they really did was make people apathetic to whether they succeeded at anything or not. Sandoval’s horrified when he’s cured of the spores because the colonists had much different plans for their colony; far from making those plans easier, the spores made them impossible. The dreams and desires of the Enterprise crew for a life of exploration among the stars would have been forever unmet if they had permanently joined the colony, they just wouldn’t have been able to care. Kirk seems to believe that the ultimate evil of the spores is that they deprive people of ambition; to me it seems that the worse evil is that they deprive people of their individuality and their autonomy.

Then there’s the fact that while the spores make people happy and friendly, they also make them remarkably blasé about the well-being of anyone who isn’t part of their collective. They have to be—caring about whether someone else is upset or hurt would make them unhappy, after all. Spock and McCoy are completely unconcerned with the mounting distress of their best friend, and beyond peer pressuring him to get with the program and take the spores like everyone else, they don’t seem to much care if he remains the only unhappy person on the planet. The colonists seem completely unbothered by the fact that all the animals they brought with them died a rather grueling death by radiation poisoning. Everyone on the Enterprise is happy to abandon the ship and join the colony with no message left behind for Starfleet, with apparently not a thought to spare for any friends and family back home, who would only ever know that their loved ones disappeared into space never to be seen again.

Or at least, they would if things actually went according to plan, which they probably wouldn’t, because the spores also made everyone cheerfully oblivious to the idea that anything could potentially cause a problem or pose a threat to them. After all, if Kirk hadn’t had a recovery at the last minute, the Enterprise would have been left unmanned in orbit around the planet, with no way for anyone in the colony to get back onboard. Uhura also goes out of her way to make sure that they no longer have any off-planet communication. So it’s probably not going to be long before Starfleet notices that one of their prize starships has abruptly gone incommunicado, and I’m willing to bet they’d be a bit quicker on that investigation than they were about checking on a tiny backwater colony (although it is Starfleet, so who knows, really). And since they know exactly where the ship was headed on its last recorded mission, it probably won’t take them long to find it. If Starfleet sends another ship along to investigate quickly enough, they’ll find the abandoned Enterprise hanging out in orbit around the planet, and Kirk’s log clearly lays out what happened, so all the other ship has to do is figure out how to neutralize the spores and everyone’s going to get rescued from Omicron Ceti 3 pretty quickly whether they want to be or not.

If Starfleet doesn’t show up in time...Kirk says the ship can be “maintained in orbit” for several months, but then what? It can’t stay up there forever. Sooner or later, the orbit will decay and the ship’s going to crash into the planet, and if it crashes anywhere near one of the colonies, their magic healing powers are going to be put to the test. Also their magic agriculture powers--rich soil and mild weather is all well and good, but is that going to be enough to carry all those crops through the ensuing environmental effects of an impact that big? Especially since, as already mentioned, the colony has enough to feed them and that’s about it—so they really can’t afford to lose any crops for very long.

Sure, maybe the Enterprise wouldn’t crash close enough to any of the colonies to ruin them, but why take the risk? All they had to do was have a helmsman set it on a course out of orbit, then take a shuttlecraft back to the planet. Doesn’t occur to anyone, evidently. Nor do we see anyone bothering to bring any supplies or equipment from the ship to the colony, even though there’s gotta be lots of stuff up there that would be useful. All in all, it seems quite likely that Paradise would have eventually collapsed in on itself simply because the spores make people unable to pay attention to any potential threats or obstacles long enough to do anything about them.

So what’s the moral here? ‘Society can’t survive if everyone is stoned all of the time’? I mean, okay? Sure? Cool? Glad we sorted all that out.

That said, despite having ranted for the past nine hundred words about the weird moral, I’m not saying this episode is bad. As a serious point about human nature I don’t find it especially compelling—YMMV, but I just personally tend to side-eye stories that center around the idea of “wouldn’t it be awful if we all had it too easy??”--but as fifty minutes of extremely Star Trek-y silliness it’s glorious. We’ve got Spock hanging from a tree and talking about dragons while making out in the grass, McCoy going full Georgia and wandering about with something he thinks is a mint julep, Kirk stomping around in increasing agitation as he tries to get some sense out of somebody and then making emo log entries while he sits on the bridge alone...it’s great.

The original draft of this episode apparently had the romantic subplot be for Sulu, who would have been motivated to stay with Layla after having been diagnosed with a serious medical condition that was cured by the spores, kind of like the eventual plot with McCoy in For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky. D.C. Fontana rewrote the story to focus on Spock, since if you have an episode about something that causes a strong emotional reaction, throwing Spock and his ever-present internal conflict into the mix is kind of the most immediately obvious way to generate some pathos and drama. The spores originally granted those affected with them telepathic abilities, enabling them to link with everyone else who’d been spore’d and form a hivemind. There are some traces of this in the final episode with spore’d people talking about “joining us” and “being one of us” and so on, but without the telepathy part it just kind of makes it sound like they’re in a cult. Also, the cure for the spores would have been consuming alcohol, so presumably in that draft McCoy never got infected.

For the purposes of the Trek Tally I’m going to count the spores as a Space Disease, which might be broadening the umbrella of that term a bit but hey, close enough. Next time we’ll be looking for life, Jim, but not as we know it, in The Devil in the Dark.

#star trek #star trek TOS #star trek TOS season one #recap tag #star trek TOS recaps #1.24 This Side of Paradise #1.24 This Side of Paradise recap

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iphigeniainaulis · 4 years

Text

Pairing: Comte x MC

Warnings: It’s my first time writing fanfic in English

‘It was her last week in 19th century Paris when a fever suddenly changed her plans’

Golden eyes raised anxiously. Gaze touching on her profile. So bright, so ephemeral as if she was not a human. She was so vulnerable because of her sincerity and strong because of her weaknesses it definitely caught him off guard every single moment they were together. It made him forget all those words he was ready to use, all those pitiful, empty phrases created only to hide his dark secrets, his own monster who had been torturing him for all those months.

Fear

He was awfully, desperately afraid of her. Afraid of those feelings she awakened in him. Excitement when his palms were getting sweaty and his heartbeat was ready to punch a hole in his chest just the moment he heard the rustle of her dress when she was delivering daily mail to the residents. Agony of suspense when he was trying to guess whether her smiling face would come into view or she would just pass by with a general ‘Good day, Comte’.

Sometimes she came to him with a warm smile that touched her lips and sparked myriads of orange and golden stars in her beautiful eyes, a scene that spread warmth and gentleness through his tired heart. It was such a strange feeling, like if he had already experienced it. Or was it somebody else? A small boy with golden eyes who was ready to capture the whole world. Innocent. Curious. Ready to discover. Ready to love.

And sometimes she was quiet with the seal of sadness on her face and shadows of sorrow in her eyes. Usually, he tried to distract her from her thoughts by making tea and chatting. But sometimes that wasn't enough. Although she pretended to be happy, he knew when she was lying. Her lips. She was biting them. And sometimes even cluck her tongue. He knew all those little secrets of hers. He learned it slowly every day and couldn't afford to lose even a small detail. He needed it. Because the only thought of her going away forever was driving him crazy. He needed it to paint her portrait in his mind, to hide it as far as possible, so after she’d gone and taken all the light from him, he could get it from his memory and remind himself that he experienced true happiness one last time.

She was here. With him. That what really mattered. That was both his blessing and his punishment.

Because her presence promised happiness and freedom. Her eyes promised peace. Because she was ready. Ready to accept him without any ‘no’ or ‘if’. Ready to accept him with all his weaknesses, fears, insecurities and worries. Accept his eternal pain that he didn't have a cure for and eternal sadness that always followed him no matter how hard he tried.

She begged him. Begged to live in their present, to fall into that shining sea of life and joy with her, survive its storms and meet the consequences together.

She protected. Held him in her arms and saved him from the ghost of the past, from his fear of loneliness, from thousands of dark nights without sleep, without dreams. She promised.

She promised things he couldn't accept, he got no right. Not with her.

Loving her would be so easy. He knew that. Taste her breath on her lips when the first sun rays greet them in their room. Hold heavy locks in his hands and smell the scent of lavender soap and herbage. Exchange quick kisses, so light but so necessary, while daily breaks. Talk. Keep silent. Watch, devour with eyes when she sits on his lap like a cat greedy for attention and love of her owner. Wearing the clothes he chose. Sparkling from head to toe because of all those bracelets, rings and necklaces he bought. Whisper sweet nothings and listen to her shy giggling which resonated through him like bell rings in church. She was his church, his prey, but, God save him, never she was a saint to him.

Take her. Greedy, almost desperately. Touch this delicate place on her throat where he can feel her pulse, the smell of her sweet blood, where he can hear her heart beating. Here. Alive. He could only imagine how she would sound when his arms touched the cool skin of her nipples, how she would put her head back moaning louder and louder as the rain of short hot kisses slowly began to fall on her belly, thighs, found her intimate place and then cherished it with all the gentleness and love in the world. He wanted to see how this pretty face of hers would slowly become covered with sweat, how her cheeks would blush with the color of roses, how her clouded eyes would be searching for him, how swollen lips would say ‘I lov...’

‘Why did you come? Again...’

Her body was trying to fight the temperature and the weight of a heavy duvet that he carefully brought to her room the first night she felt sick. Her face wasn't red and exhausted and her eyes were as clear as always. Her eyes...She looked at him so desperately that he felt an immediate urge to turn away. To push her back, not to let them become closer was his main purpose from the very beginning of their ‘relationships’. Well, this was the voice of his common sense. But what about his heart?

Comte forced a smile so easily that it came as a surprise to him. It was just as easy as turning a key in the lock.

‘As I said before, ma cherie, I just don't want to overwork Sebastian. Since you fell sick he has been doing all the chores by himself again... ’

‘You didn't answer the question’

The smile he wore was about to break. Comte quickly, probably, too quickly, rushed to the table with medicine, pretending that he saw the labels on all those bottles for the first time.

‘Arthur will come back soon. You had better sleep now because...’

‘Why did you come?’

He thought it would be easy. To lie as he did every time he saw her trying to become closer. Closer than he used to be with people. Closer than he could allow her to be.

And he was a fool.

He was ready to see anything in her gaze. Hate, disgust, anger...He was ready or at least he thought so. But he saw nothing like that.

Nothing except quiet, mournful, gentle sadness. ‘I know what you feel. I want to take your pain. But I can't. So instead allow me to bear this pain with you. I am here’.

He had to go. Or he could lose. Run to her bed, fall to his knees and ask her to be with him forever. Never ever go away.

‘As I said, Arthur will see you later. Now, have a rest, cherie. I can't let you go back home with a fever like that.’

The way to his office seemed like it didn't have an end. He was a coward. And a fool. He pushed away the only woman who wanted to be with him. Who he wanted to be with him. But this was his fate. Right?

The scenery outside the mansion caught his view. Comte slowed the pace. In the night sky thousands of snowflakes were dancing their first and last waltz. Every snowflake had it’s unique shape and pattern. Every snowflake had only a few seconds to dance. Another second, and it would drop. Comte suddenly thought:

‘Please, never fall...’

P.S. I don't know why tumblr decided to cut this part (*angry noises*), but here should be many thanks to @incorrect-ikevamp-quotes who writes amazing and detailed (I mean DETAILED) posts about Ikemen Vampire and #fangdadpropaganda.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikemen comte

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tinycrow · 3 years

Text

I don’t believe in miracles

Chapter 2: Discovery

:: Unknown Location ::

It had officially been half a decade since Mission City. The autonomous robotic organism and caretaker named Ray was no longer finding ‘babies’ that were sparked by the entity known as the All-Spark. She hoped that this was because she had collected them all, rather than the babies dying off or being otherwise ‘acquired’ by another agency. With no real reason to risk being seen, she spent most of her time raising the sparklings at her home base. This was fine, she thought. She enjoyed seeing her sparklings grow to become upstanding workers in what was now a bustling, little city.

There were massive infrastructure changes that had been going on since the events in Egypt. There were 5 major underground tunnels that stretched across their territory. 3 of five tunnels led to an underground bunker that would hopefully protect any humans/non-humans that needed to wait out an attack on their fair city. It wouldn’t survive a direct hit from a nuclear explosion, but it was placed in such a way that it would hopefully not be targeted. It would keep warm and safe any occupants for a couple years. Other than the bunker, the tunnels provided a warmer route between buildings in the city, especially for humans. Still, it wasn’t uncommon for non-human residents to take up the role as “taxi” for other, smaller friends aboveground.

Because of this shift in foot traffic, non-humans were able to speed through the streets, rarely having to stop. Street racing was becoming a problem in recent years, to Max and Ray’s chagrin. There had been ongoing talk of incorporating bigger ‘bots into Max’s team in order to better police the streets, but ‘bots reaching near Ray’s size tended to be rare, considering how young all the other ‘bots in the city actually were.

There were also more places in the city to just hang out as well as enjoy food and drink. The greenhouse now sported a nice café as well as a plethora of flowers and other plant life.

“Okay. We’re going for a drive.”

“It’s... cold out,” Ray lamely refused, shoulders hunching slightly as she sat at a desk to read reports on her large data pad.

“It’s always cold out. We live in the freaking An-“

“I’m busy.”

“I know for a fact that you’ve already read through the security and finance reports. The rest can wait.”

“My babies-“

“-Are being taken care of by a team of now fully-trained humans and ‘bots. Besides, you don’t usually attend them at this hour anyway. We won’t be gone that long.”

Ray was silent and contemplative as she stared downward at Linda Davies, her long-time friend. Back when she was still roaming America, the red-headed woman had been one of her only companions, worried only about helping them both survive the next day. Linda was the one to suggest the novel idea of creating a place to call their own in a place outside the jurisdiction of any opposing government. It was a crazy idea from a possibly crazy friend, but then again, Ray’s life on Earth wasn’t sane from the very start.

Linda glared back in defiance. “You need a break. Enjoy some sunshine. Talk with friends.”

The ‘bot contemplated arguing with Linda more. They both knew, however, that Ray would be going with Linda. With a sigh, Ray put away the data pad and stood.

“Inside the city, or...?”

“I’ve got my eyes on someplace warmer.”

:: California, America ::

It was a much different experience, driving at a sedate/normal pace along with the rest of human-driven traffic. Ray didn’t mind it, but Linda seemed peeved as she shifted irritably in the front passenger seat. Perhaps she was too hot? Ray checked the temperature of the cabin and found it to be at a comfortable level with her cooling unit already on. Maybe she wanted some music? She pulled a playlist from the internet that seemed pretty popular.

Linda’s mood barely improved.

“What’s wrong, Linda?”

“I hate traffic.” She grumped, “How about... we stop for coffee and then drive farther from the center of town?”

The holoform in the driver’s seat frowned in thought.

“I guess... Though I feel less safe the farther from the ground bridge we are.”

“We won’t be long.”

An hour passes, and the two friends were driving along into the California countryside with the windows down and a coffee in Linda’s hand. Music was blaring from Ray, pulled from various sources as well as internal storage. They didn’t speak much, just enjoyed the feeling of being on the road again.

“Ah, I missed this,” the not-so-young woman said nostalgically, “I love our home, but I wish we had this kind of scenery, you know?” Linda griped with a smile.

“I agree. California’s nice. Actually... Earth is very nice.”

Linda smacked the dashboard lightly, causing the holoform to flicker out for a millisecond. The black-haired and green-eyed holoform grimaced with a small admonishment.

“Sorry. But you talk like you weren’t born here.”

Ray seemed to pause at that. “I suppose it is weird.” She hummed, and explained, “Sometimes it feels that way, you know? Being so different from the literal billions of humans that populate this planet.”

“And your time... before you changed?”

“Well...” The holoform exhaled harshly, “I lived a pretty lonely life. Other than the times I would help out local charities, nothing really made me happy. I’m pretty satisfied with where we are now, and I want to continue working in making life at home better for all of us. For all our kind.”

It was Linda’s turn to be thoughtful. She slowly formed the words, “You really want to open our home to the aliens.”

“Yes.” The answer came subdued but serious.

A familiar car turned onto their road.

The radio turned off.

“Linda, don’t be alarmed.”

Said woman’s back straightened. “Okay, we’ve gotta talk about ways to deliver bad news. What’s wrong?”

“That car behind us... is one of the aliens we were discussing.”

Linda looked into the rear-view mirror and saw the silver sports car quickly gaining ground on them.

“Fuck no, he don’t.” Linda looked at the holoform of her friend, very displeased expressions on both their faces, “Can’t you go faster?”

“That depends. Are you going to throw that coffee away?”

“Is this really the time to worry about— “

“THROW IT.”

“OKAY!”

The coffee cup went sailing out the window and into the dry, yellow grass. The moment it hit the ground, Ray’s engine revved and her speed started steadily but quickly climbing. Because the road was fairly straight most of the way, she wasn’t worried about having to suddenly turn 90 degrees.

~ Ray and Linda to Shawn and Max. Linda and I are being followed. I need an emergency ground bridge. Are either of you at the console? ~

~ Shawn, here. I’m not, but I can be. Where are you, Sunshine? ~

~ Ray. We are in the California countryside. I don’t want to lead them back to the warehouses. Max, are you— ~

There was a huff of exhaustion as Max chimed in. ~ Max. I’m at the console. Send your coordinates. ~

Ray sent her coordinates as well as those of the car behind her. She told them how fast she was going.

Max swore. ~ There’s no way you can slow down, but if I send a ground bridge, you’re going to be a pancake on the building wall. I’ll look up exits. ~

Linda, hearing the conversation in her earpiece, gained a look of grim revelation.

~ Linda, here. I know none of us want to consider it, but we may need to fight. ~

Max was dismissive of the idea. ~ There are many reasons that won’t work. For one, they’re much more skilled at fighting than we are. There’s also the fact that they may be getting backup, while we don’t have anyone to backup Ray, unless we use the children— ~

Ray’s hackles rose at the thought, and she interrupted, ~ You are not sending my children after me. ~

Max sighed, sounding like he’d heard this, many, many times before.

~ I wasn’t going to. Look, there’s a gentle turn coming up, if you can pull a miracle and lose him, I can send a bridge to Point A. ~ Max sends Ray coordinates to a nearby farm.

~ Or to Point B. ~ He adds a new pointer further away.

~ Keep me apprised. ~ Max said, finally.

Ray affirmed the decision and planned. Knowing Linda would not approve, she kept it mostly to herself. She turned off the holoform, wanting to reserve processing power. It caught Linda’s attention.

“Ray?”

“Do you trust me?”

Linda narrowed her eyes at the dashboard, hearing her voice echo throughout the cabin.

“Do you trust me?”

~ Prime, that strange, unknown Cybertronian appeared again. They appear to have a human with them. I’m following them. ~

~ The human must be returned unharmed. Send your coordinates and we will block their escape routes. You are not to attack while they have the human. ~

~ Understood. ~

Ray took the gentle, right turn with slightly less speed but fully screeching tires. She would not let her friend come to harm. If this was to end in a confrontation, she would see her friend home, safe and sound with her people.

The dilapidated barn designated as Point A was coming up fast, and she swerved violently as she skidded to a halt, kicking up a massive storm of dust and dirt. She popped the door open. Linda jumped out, expecting a fight to happen. Just as expected, Ray transformed into her bipedal form, stance loose but looking vaguely like she was ready to fight.

~ Lin’, run to the barn and get that bridge open. ~

~ On it! ~

As the dust cleared, Linda had disappeared into the barn. Ray stepped cautiously forward, wanting to put distance between Linda and the other ‘bot. The silver car drifted in, transformed, and pulled out their blade all in one well practiced movement.

“Release the human, Decepticon, and I will let you live.”

Ray attempted to stall for time. “Not even a hello? A name? I’m afraid you got me at a disadvantage, sir.”

He stepped forward predatorily. She took a hesitant step back.

“Don’t play games with me, ‘con.”

~ It’s open! Hey, Max, wha—hey! Let me go! Ray! ~

Ray cut the transmission with some guilt, and opened a silent communication with Max.

~ Thanks, Max. ~

~ You realize the consequences of what you’re about to do, right? ~

~ I do. I leave my fate in your and our council’s hands. ~

“Well?”

Ray raised her hands slowly in surrender. With determination and serenity, she watched as a semi raced up to his comrade and transformed into bipedal form beside him. She blinked her optics at the new weapon pointed at her.

“I am no Decepticon.”

Sideswipe sneered, “Likely story. What were you doing with that human, then?”

“We were enjoying coffee and a drive through the California countryside,” she said calmly, and at the looks of disbelief, she clarified unnecessarily, “Oh, she was drinking coffee. I find no nutritional value in it.”

“Where is the human?” Optimus asked, getting back to the crux of the matter.

“Oh, back home I’m assuming. Max came by to pick her up.”

“Who is Max?”

“He’s chief of security for a rather large community of people. Are you going to arrest me, officers?”

Optimus gave a look to Sideswipe. Sideswipe resisted grumbling and cautiously approached the possibly deranged Ray, who had yet to draw a weapon.

“You are to follow us to an extraction point. If you deviate from the course, we will be forced to subdue you.”

“Alright, if you insist. Don’t stare at my bumper, I’m quite shy.”

The two mechs stared at her, and then glanced at each other.

‘Taking them off guard would be more fun if I wasn’t so terrified for what the future holds,’ she thought, and she thought of the children she probably wouldn’t be seeing in a very long time. She thought of the danger they could be in if things didn’t go well.

She focused on the details of the two mechs in front of her, hoping to ground herself, and pushed her fears down. She followed one mech and was in turn followed by the other.

A pacific Ray sat, essentially blinded in most senses, in what seemed to be a place for general storage. They had temporarily cut off her sight and other various sensors, leaving her with hearing and what was the robotic equivalent to touch. She had guessed that her captors did not have a designated holding area for non-human prisoners (a brig), and to keep their own secrets safe, deemed it necessary to take these precautions. She tried to be mad about it, but a large part of her understood; the Autobots and the humans associated with them were looking for Decepticons, and most Decepticons would rather die than be taken prisoner. Shuddering in fear, she admitted being blinded and constantly guarded wasn’t the worst that could’ve happened to her.

She sang a slow, crooning melody to pass the time and ease any anxiety.

Watching nearby were a pair of cold, blue optics that shuttered briefly at the sound. Memories from long, long ago of similar songs sung to them as a youth slipped into their awareness. The owner of these blue optics resisted the feelings of compassion and sympathy that threatened to take them off guard.

In a room far from the femme’s prison, the Autobots (barring one) were in a serious discussion.

“The femme certainly doesn’t act like any Decepticon I’ve seen,” Ironhide admitted.

“And of course, there’s no insignia showing which faction,” Sideswipe said, “Though she did run when she saw us. That’s enough cause for me.”

Optimus rumbled in thought, “Ray associates with humans. For most Decepticons, that would be beneath them.”

A human soldier also piped up, “What about her eye colour? Don’t they usually have red eyes?”

“The colour of one’s optics do not necessarily mean anything. Many Decepticons you have seen may have had red, but there have been those on our side with red as well. Hers are green, which are rarer, but it does not hold any specific meaning,” Optimus explained for the humans’ benefit. “Ratchet, what are your thoughts?”

“The femme has been compliant in every procedure taken to secure her as our prisoner. She has no internal weapons system, however she willingly offered information about her subspace storage containing a rifle, which I have disabled access to as well.”

No internal weapons? Not even a blaster? What kind of warrior disables themselves by not acquiring a proper weapon, especially in a war? The room erupted in chatter.

“Quiet.” The Autobot leader ordered, and then urged Ratchet to continue.

“I have been analyzing the unique radiation that she emits and can come to no conclusions yet. I will note however, that there’s something familiar about it.”

“Familiar, how?” Optimus inquired curiously.

“I cannot say for certain,” Ratchet demurred.

“Keep me updated,” their leader acquiesced, to which the chief medical officer just nodded.

In a quick private comm with Ratchet, Optimus asked, ~ Might I assume you do not want to broadcast whatever it is that is ‘familiar’? ~

~ You are correct. The radiation emitting from the Femme seems to react uniquely with the materials immediately surrounding her. On a molecular level, they are... moving unnaturally. ~

This news surprised Optimus, as this ability was something entirely new. ~ Could it be a new weapon? ~

~ It is hard to say. However, it’s familiar to one of the abilities of an entity we all know of and have lost. ~

~ ... We will talk about this later. ~

~ Indeed. ~

“For now, we will keep her under constant guard. Ratchet, you will continue studying her. All of you are to report any suspicious behaviour. If that is all, you are dismissed.”

One week after capture...

She heard a particular set of footsteps approaching and looked up with a genuine curve of her dermas (lips). She recognized those footsteps that had been visiting her almost every day since her capture. She greeted him sweetly.

“Ratchet.”

Ratchet didn’t bother hiding his pleased expression, knowing she couldn’t see.

“You can leave,” he told the guarding Autobot.

Arcee’s optics shuttered and opened again slowly in shock. “Ratchet?”

“Don’t worry, Arcee, she’s not going anywhere. But I technically count as her guard while I am here,” he explained, “so let me work in peace.”

Arcee, aware of Ratchet’s legendary temper, took the out as she saw it gracefully. “Alright. I’ll check in with you in one earth hour.”

“See you later, Arcee!” Ray smiled at the air, not quite sure where Arcee was as the femme was light-footed or on wheels? It was hard to tell.

When Arcee left, Ray turned to where she thought Ratchet was. A puzzled look and an inquiry were sent up to his left shoulder plate, “Is there a reason you sent her away?”

Ratchet settled himself in for a long conversation. There was the squeak of metal compacting slightly as he assumingly sat down on a crate. Ray was already sitting on the concrete with her legs tucked to the side. Her back strut straightened in attention as this event was different to the quiet study and offhand questioning he usually does. Though Ratchet had been nothing but gentle—if grumpy at times—with her, she wondered if that was about to change. Her spark quickened in a small niggling of anxiety.

It must’ve shown in her expression, because he quickly said, “You’re not going to come under any harm in my care, I assure you.”

Ray relaxed slightly, but still had her doubts as she asked, “Is something the matter?”

“I’ve been talking with Optimus and we both agree that it’s time to consider long term plans for your stay here. You have proven yourself to be non-hostile as well as open to our prodding at you and your radiation field. Such good behaviour does not warrant what could be considered torture by sensory deprivation.”

She simply stared blindly at him for a second before slowly admitting, “It would be nice... to see whom I am talking to.”

It only took around 15 minutes to re-enable the appropriate sensors, and he was being intentionally slow and careful. The first thing she saw was thick, yellow-plated servos. When they pulled away, her green optics were wide and bright as they took in the much taller mech. He was sitting, but by her estimates he would probably be at least 5 feet taller than she was. She vocalised a high whistle and winked.

“Cheeky brat. I bet you and Bumblebee would get along just fine.”

Ray took a moment to look at one of her kind captors. She knew the aliens were well armoured and gunned; she had seen it on the day of her capture. However, even the kind medic that had been in her company for days now seemed alarmingly well built. Subconsciously, she pulled her legs up to her chest, in the foetal position. She never liked conflict, but she understood why good people fought. Once upon a time, she was a fighter too, before The Change. But those were weaker foes compared to the aliens she faced now.

“There’s something else we’ve been meaning to talk to you about. You constantly assure us that you are not a Decepticon, but none of us recognize you, nor do we see any mark of affiliation with us.”

She was silent for a while. Ratchet seemed to wait patiently as she seemed to deliberate, optics tracing a path on the ground. The black-armoured femme seemed to come to a conclusion and faced him with a brave speech.

“That is because I am neither a Decepticon nor an Autobot.”

Ratchet didn’t seem surprised by her answer. Truthfully, Optimus and he had been speculating on this ever since she came into their custody. It was hard to believe, but it was the only explanation that fit. The Neutrals had been exterminated early on in the war. This faction was mostly made up of ones who could not or would not fight for one reason or another. They usually had a hard time making a living, and Decepticon raids would eventually become the reason that no Neutral was thought to be alive to this day.

If Ray was a Neutral, it would explain her behaviour towards humans and conflict with either of the opposing factions.

It didn’t quite explain away the radiation that caused nearby molecules to dance almost excitably in her vicinity, or the way she could put you at ease in her presence—a feeling of protection and unconditional love. There was just something missing from this explanation that Ratchet needed to figure out. He had asked specific questions before, but hopefully this time she would willingly answer.

“What colony are you from?”

His question was met with silence. Ratchet withheld a sigh of disappointment, but something in his demeanour must have changed. She saw his disappointment and immediately felt guilty.

She wanted so badly to tell the truth, but it couldn’t be helped. Her people had rights to their privacy and security. She hadn’t gotten communication from the council indicating it was okay to share that information—Ratchet didn’t know but she had easily repaired the severed wires in her antennae. Anyway, it was doubtful that the council would ever agree to open their city to the Autobots, because she knew the humans were afraid. She wished that the time they spent in her and her babies’ presence would ease some of that fear, but it was still not an easy decision to make. She could only hope her feelings reached the people she loved and trusted.

Ratchet tried a different angle, “When did you arrive on earth?”

Ray’s optics, formerly gazing guiltily away, snapped up to Ratchet. This she could technically answer. Her voice was soft but sure as she answered.

“Sometime in the 80’s. But I didn’t start travelling until the late 90’s and didn’t find a place to settle until... the Mission City disaster.”

He thought on this for a bit. It was a bit telling when the femme would be forthcoming with all topics except for where she came from and where she was staying. It made him wonder if there were more Neutrals hiding somewhere.

“Who was that travelling with you when we found you?”

With a pang of anxiety, Ray cautiously revealed, “Linda. She’s a good friend of mine. She... gave me a home.” It was as close to truth as possible. Linda didn’t just give her a home but had helped build it.

“Is there a way we can contact Linda?” He asked, and seeing her wariness, he continued, “If you were happy with her before, I’m sure Prime would let you return as her guardian.”

Ray visibly struggled with herself. There was distress at wanting to be open about her home—she was so proud of what she had helped build—but wanting to respect her people’s wishes. Something in her rattled, and her dentas clenched reflexively.

“I want to... but I can’t... I can’t... It’s not safe... We do not trust...” Her processor stuttered through the many things she wanted or needed to say but was scared of divulging. It created a loop she could not break herself out of.

Ratchet’s servo braced itself on her shoulder, and her continued stuttering petered out. His voice was consoling as he assured her that the Autobots did not mean her or any friend of hers harm, that they had promised to protect humans from the Decepticon threat. The rattling of her mechanical parts somewhere in her quieted, and she took in and vented out air harshly in a very human gesture of recovery.

“There you go. Easy now. You’re safe.”

He tried to pick up the conversation afterward, but her continued silence was worrying. Did she not feel safe here? Granted they took precautions to protect the base’s secrets, but she had not shown any negative effects of the treatment until now. He would speak with Optimus about improving the conditions of her stay here.

Three weeks after capture...

It had taken a lot of arguing, but she was finally allowed to—under strict supervision and great limitation—to ‘step’ out of the storage room. Though, to protect the secrets of the existence of Cybertronians, she was only allowed to be in vehicle mode, and it would be in the evening when most of the day’s work was done. Perhaps they were afraid of spy satellites seeing their bipedal forms. With her sight restored, she took the time away from the constant interrogation to simply enjoy the sunshine and the sound of waves nearby. She drove circles or figure 8’s around her guard as well as objects to exercise her precision driving. She even asked her guards about stunts like wheelies, which the amused Autobots agreed to teach her in the limited time she had outside.

Inside the storage room, she would turn into bipedal mode to work her joints, cables, and pistons. She would contort herself in all the ways she knew possible before she grew bored. Sometime during the middle of the day, Ratchet would come along to poke, prod, or ask her things. Very rarely did she ever see Optimus Prime, the Autobots’ leader. When she asked once, she was told he was very busy dealing with the human government and their liaisons. It wasn’t explicitly said, but it was obvious to her that the human government wasn’t happy with the Autobots’ continued stay on Earth.

Though Ray did her best to keep the secret of her little city, she could see that the Autobots were beginning to piece together little things she had been saying (or hadn’t remembered saying). They brought up what she said when Sideswipe and Optimus first cornered her at the abandoned farm, about Max and Linda, about the mysterious warehouse that was obviously just a warehouse and nothing to be suspicious about—

She wasn’t very good at this secret keeping business. Ray supposed it was inevitable that a race so much more experienced than she would start to figure it out, and she only hoped that her people would forgive her.

1 month after capture...

Not much changed over the next week, except she obviously gained some level of trust with the Autobots and was involved in less discrete conversations more. Perhaps they had figured out her secret already. They avoided telling her what they thought, so she wasn’t sure.

It was a little over a month when she got a communication from Max, who obviously spoke for the council in this matter. The break in the comm silence ever since her capture took her so off guard, that she froze in the middle of an interrogation. When asked what was wrong, she was too shocked to formulate the words she needed to say, and instead asked to be given some time alone with her guard.

It took her two hours to gather her courage, but she asked to meet with Optimus and Ratchet, stressing that she wanted them alone or she wouldn’t reveal anything. After the agreement was secure, she tried to secure the area against listening devices or humans, using her powers discretely to do so.

It was time.

#my fanfiction #I don't believe in miracles #transformers #greyscales

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trippydwarf · 3 years

Text

Revised, edited. and added only a little.

NSFW

Waking up in the passenger seat of a car, I bring my free, right hand to my face in a sluggish way. I squeeze the warm hand that swallows my petite southpaw. It squeezes back with reassurance and affection. Turning my face from the window to my driver, I smile sleepily while laying my head back on the seat. I gaze at him while the sun is nearly set on his opposite side. There is a blend of oranges and pinks covering the ceilings of the outside. Puffs of purple clouds dotted the skies. The sun was hardly peaking out, but just enough to slightly irritate my fresh, awakened eyes; but it highlighted him in every way. As his eyes stayed on the road, I could see the sun shining dark shades of amber and carmel into them. He peeks at the corner of his eyes my way, grinning back at me with a smile that lights up any room he enters. “Mmm, you’re awake finally,” he stated with the slightest excitement in his voice as if he couldn’t get enough of my attention.

“Where are we now?” I asked looking around for signs. Not one single sign. Not even in the near distance of what I can see from the light darkening with the time passing by. I look out the window on the side of me and see boulders and dirt, no not dirt, sand. Arizona, a beautiful state from all directions. There’s beauty in the nature of it, how the deserts dehydrate everything with it’s blazing sun rays. Only having limited sources to test the survival of what lives among its dunes.

“About three hours away from our destination,” he answered as he pretended I knew his plan. He has been so unpredictable these past couple weeks. Never telling me what we’re doing or where we’re, yet I follow his lead trusting him without even thinking twice. Having just left Las Vegas, I look at the positioning of the sun to attempt to reveal what direction we’re heading to. I reminisce in past conversations of ours conversing about the places I’ve never been to. The list is slightly shorter now, but it still has length.

“Grand Canyon,” I blurted out as if I was in a tangent. There was a silence that filled the air as he just smiled, not admitting if I was right or not.

“Am I starting to get predictable?” he questioned.

“Is it always such a bad thing?” I answered with a question of my own.

“I like to keep you on your toes,” finally ending the question game with a real answer.

I smile while looking in his direction. I glance down at our hands intertwined as they always are when we drive together. Being apart for so long will do that to a couple of soulmates. “It’s okay, I’m excited!” feeling pumped about the fact that I’m going to experience another beautiful, rare piece of scenery that nature gas provided for the world to be in awe of.

“That’s good, Baby,” he sounded as there was relief in his voice, “I love it when you’re happy.”

I give his hand a tighter hold. I can’t believe mine is in his, finally. We’ve waited and suffered for such a long time without each other. Two people can only be without one another for so long until they can struggle no more to fight the gravitational pull that brings them together. It is forced with emotion and mentality. Finally, being able to feel and release that passion we both have desired so greatly is an unbelievable sensation. I never want to let this go. I never want to let him go. If he could hold me forever, it would mean I was in Heaven.

For a long while, we were with other people, or more like monsters of manipulation and control. Unhappy and withering away we were, not being able to express our true selves. It was as if we were living lives that we thought were fate doomed by our bloodlines and karma. I went through the cycle not once, but twice. I had lost myself nearly completely the second time around. I let normality take over and it dragged onto me until I was completely miserable with what I set myself up with. I didn’t let normality win for the sake of attempting to save myself from the disapproval of society. I did it because, at one time, someone else depended on me. That poor unfortunate boy was cursed to have a mother who’s not nearly worthy to experience his upbringing and growth. Alas, I believe he is much better without me. They all are.

For nearly five years, I stayed imprisoned along with my depression and suicidal thoughts that I was too much of a pussy to go through with. Along with emotional abandonment and mental abuse knocking at the door of my deteriorating mental health, my hate for living grew so much that I walked around as a stoned zombie for months. It was just to quiet the thoughts that could be so loud sometimes that it was as if I couldn’t hear anything else happening around me. Now, I want to hear every thought that pops into my brain. Recently, I have only endured into the sweet essence of THC for pure enjoyment, instead of a numbing mechanism since I abandoned my old life.

After these past couple weeks, I don’t think I would ever want to imagine being without him again. It was such a loveless and traumatic experience to do so. I had believed that the world would always be cold, and that I would be forever frozen in it; he wasn’t going to let that happen. I’m sure he didn’t even hesitate to decide that I was going to be his to save. I’m convinced it was his plan from the first “hello” we shared. Before we physically met, we grew a connection that may be unbreakable. Not even the strongest forces going against it can ruin what we’ve manifested. Day and night, we’d stay in contact in some sort of way. His voice would replace the music coming from my car radio as I would lug myself to work and back to hell. Those days I couldn’t have the pleasure to listen to his sweet words coming from his lips were sometimes the worst. My mind can be at rest knowing that I won’t have to live that way anymore.

It’s like time goes by at hyper-speed when we are together. Having eternity with each other now, yet that just isn’t enough for me. So much time was wasted procrastinating out of fear and guilt. I remember so vividly what our first face-to-face encounter was like as it really wasn’t that long ago. My problems were mine no more once his arms swallowed my body and our lips pursed together naturally and passionately. That feeling when everything horrible that has happened to me ceased to exist. As if I really only started living at that moment, the rest of the time was just merely surviving what agony I’d dealt with.

The sun set and we are still on the road. Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon are only about four hours apart. We are now about twenty minutes away from the destination of our next adventure before going back to Florida. We had been through half the country in such a short time. Missing his only child, we plan to head home after seeing the stars in Arizona over the canyon. A part of me wants to travel forever with this man, but I’m too excited to meet his little one. A person to give my motherly love to, but not having him be forced to only depend on me for that bond a child naturally desires. I already ran away from that once and he already has a mother for that.

The sky slowly popped with stars as the background faded to dark colors. We come to a stop. He puts the car in park, resting his head on the seat, and inhaling real deep. As he was exhaling, he sounded relaxed. He turns his head towards me and shines that sweet smile at me. I love that smile, oh Lord. “Are you ready, Love?” he gently asked me with a calmness in his voice.

“Yes, Dear,” replying with the same calmness in my voice, returning a grin. It’s odd because I always assumed love was like it was supposed to be in the movies. I thought love were hands that tremble and knees that are weak. It was supposed to put butterflies in your stomach. That’s not how I feel at this moment with him. When he looks at me, I feel at peace. It’s like we’re the only ones, like we’ve always been the only ones, on Earth for each other. He’d never hurt me, at least never in a way I wouldn’t take liking to.

We both exit out the vehicle in unison. Meeting at the trunk, we start unpacking the sleeping bags to lay on. I carry one as he carries another to a spot not too far from the car. I look back as the headlights shine on us. It was almost blinding. My eyes had to adjust afterward. He holds my hand the whole way there, I’m guessing in case I lose my footing. He unrolls, unzips, and spreads out the sleeping bag he was carrying. Then, he takes the one I’m holding and does the same on top of the first one. He suddenly turns towards me with an “I forgot something” expression on his face, “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”

“Where would I even-,” I decided not to finish my sentence because he couldn’t hear me anyway. I look at the car, the direction he was walking in. He gets into the trunk and it looks like he grabbed the beer cooler. He comes back and sets the cooler at the edge of the sleeping bag. He sits down close to where I’m standing, on the side of me. I was still not seated with him because I was just in awe at how beautiful the world really can be. I was soaking up all of its glory. It set me into a daze.

All of a sudden, I was pulled to the ground while my head was in the stars. I find myself in his muscular arms once again. He is always so warm, as it is quite chilly in Arizona at night. I feel his body underneath mine as he just holds me with a random playlist in the background from his phone. It’s always those moments that are true bliss. It’s that “let me hold you forever” type moment. I raise my head off his brawny chest and look deep into his eyes with a relaxed smile. “Hi.”

He smiles back at me, “Hey there, how are you?”

“I’m fine now,” I smile far wider than before. It’s true. I’m fine as long as I never have to remember that lifeagain. I will be okay as long as I have him. He makes it all better.

He’s still smiling at me, starstruck by love. “This time I believe you,” he admits to me as I remember a texting conversation we had once. I had told him that I was fine one day, and he asked me to never lie to him. He knew, then, that I would never be all right if we weren’t together and neither would he.

Right now, I feel so safe. Burrowing into his muscular chest, I will never want anyone else. How could I? He’s utter perfection. This massive gentleman stands nearly a foot over me. I’ve always liked my men tall. He is built like a machine with his muscles tightening the sleeves of his shirt. Veins that run down and disappear as they run down his wrists. His clothing tightens at his shoulders and upper back, fitting him snugly. His neck is strong and is partly hiding behind the scruffiness of his dark facial hair. It conceals half of his face with a short beard with a smile in the middle of it. His cheeks are round with a button nose, yet still masculine. Eyes, that are a deep brown, look into my soul through his black framed glasses. Head shaved like a badass, although I’m sure he looks great with hair too.

We admired our surroundings for a considerable amount of time. All of a sudden, we switch positions swiftly. I’m not difficult for him to maneuver by any means. I find this fact to be an advantage for what he is capable of doing to me. Nibbling at my neck to my lips, he kisses me passionately while one hand supports his body and the other is holding me by the hip. Pulling me closer to him, as he is clearly indicating that he wants to become one within me. I sense his excitement teasingly rubbing against me. I then grab his hip and pull him, aggressively, even closer to me. My hand wanders from his hip to his groin while the other is on his back pulling his shirt closer over his head. My hand grazes over scratches I had left on his skin from times before when he has convinced me with his talent to completely lose control. We are both aggressive lovers. Almost like we fight for dominance. Every now and then he lets me win, but not very often. I prefer my man to be stronger than me in all aspects. I wish, now, to taunt the monster within him to be unleashed onto me as I reach for his member from inside his boxers that had yet been removed. I need to let him satisfy my every sexual desire at this very second.

My top was already half missing, as I like to strut in crop tops often, making it easy for anyone to see my midriff and only for him to reach inside to feel my precious bosoms that his hands cup perfectly around. I enjoy the sensation of his fingertips gently caressing my ribs as if he is counting each one over and over. We slowed down to not miss this memory we are creating here under the stars in Arizona by. I gracefully lift my shirt from over my head as I am underneath his kneeling body. He works diligently at unbuttoning my shorts, removing them briskly to get to what will fill his hunger.

His lips lead from my sternum, down my navel with sweet kisses of appreciation. This way he lets me know that he treasures what is truly, and has always really has been, his. I feel his facial hair tickling my waistline as he hesitates for a moment. Then, he moves his sweet, tender kisses to both sides where my hips and my upper thighs lay. Covered in scars from my own destruction, he sees the beauty in every single cut that used to be there. It’s like he removes every horrific thought that led to me taking my lack of controllability out on my body.

He knows that the temptation for me to mutilate my body still exists to some extent. I can’t always be in control and I can’t accept it. Part of this trip was to educate me into having someone else take the lead. This is why I am so oblivious to where we’re going the majority of the time. It wasn’t easy for me at first, but I accepted this challenge to defeat the way I like to inflict pain onto myself. My anxiety has yet to take over yet. My comfortability with him is strange. I’ve never been so easy to take over and put a spell under, but he does me that way and I like it.

I’m completely exposed, not an inch of clothing on my body. With my entire body, naked, for him to explore. He goes right for the gold with his face, nibbling and licking the inside of my lower lips and clitoris. His tongue grazes in between the lips in an upward position towards the most sensitive area. The pleasure surges through my body, making it so hard to stay composed. I push his head into my pelvis and reposition my hips in hoping to get a more intense sensation. Having his hand around my ass to press me into his mouth, and the other hand is working down below. I feel everything ten times more than I ever did as he’s really going at it in so many directions. Finally, deciding to let out a moan out of pure ecstasy. “Mmm, Henry!” Calling out his name as I root for him to go further than what we already have.

He moves his half-way taken off shorts down to his ankles, getting them lost among the bottom of the sleeping bag. Henry, then, matches our pelvic areas to be insync with one another. Taking his left hand to my right thigh, he feels me down and then lifts my leg on to his shoulder. This puts my knee near my head. He is raised up to where we can make eye contact. Usually being uncomfortable with that, but with him I don’t mind. He comes face-to-face, almost close enough to kiss, but not quite. Knowing that he is teasing me by hesitating and ceasing all action except for angling his appendenge just right for me to barely feel it, he waits to see how long I can resist him.

As I can not anticipate waiting anymore, I pull him by his shoulders closer to me. I kiss him hard, and end it with an antagonistic bite of his lip. Then pushing him away and lowering my leg off his shoulder gently while looking at him playfully, he lets me take over. We switch positions once again as if we are dancing. I am now on top of Henry, with only the other sleeping bag covering us. With both of his in mine, I pin them over his head and lean down to kiss him once more. I let go of his hands and slowly felt him all the way down while I descended down to his penis to wrap my mouth around it. I play with the tip with my tongue, shove as much as I can in my mouth, and then back out as a tease. I cup his balls with my hand and deep throat him. I hear him indulging into this moment. He has a handful of my hair clinched in his hands. I put my hand on top of his on my head, pushing it down at a slow pace. my jaws widening to take in all of his masculinity. Struggling to keep hold of it long, I regurgitate it back out.

It is at this time, I come back up to face-to-face with my lover. I have one leg on each side of him with my lady bits resting on his junk. I kiss up his neck while his hand is in mine. Then, I pin up his hand above his head, so I support my weight to reach underneath me. I take a hold of his shaft and strike myself into the portal in between my legs. I gasp in response to the overwhelming sensation of being in one with my soul mate once again. He thrusts upward into me and it makes me arch my back and let out a soft moan. At the same time, I am steadily rocking on his dick. He grabs my petite waist and pushes hard up against me once again and again. We have a synchronized rhythm going. The beat to our song gets faster and I am almost to climax. I can feel the sweat drip down my spine in the crisp cold, desert air. It’s coming from all the work and pleasure I’ve put into this rendezvous. The blood feels hot in my body as my heart is beating like a hummingbird’s. I am so close to orgasming, I beg for him not to stop. “Take me,” I moan out, “have me, please!”

At my request, Henry sits up and gets from underneath me. Before I could look to see what he’s doing, I felt his warm body behind mine as we were both facing the same direction and on our knees. Now, the blanket is completely removed and I only have him for warmth. I feel his breath on my neck and ear. Our skin sticks due to us sweating in such a climate. One of his hands was holding me up to him and the other was reaching inside of me. He nibbles and tugs on my ear with his teeth. Chills go down my spine, and my heartbeat is so loud; as I am so turned on by the fact that he is about to take total control. He whispers an order in my ear seductively, “lay down.”

As he wishes, I do as he says like the good girl that I am. As I make the motion to turn towards him; he grabs my hip and stops me. “No, stay right there,” he says as I remain on my stomach by his command. He positions himself in between my legs. Moving his large cock to where it needs to be, he has one hand working it in as the other is softly gripping my neck. I felt pressure come within me and I groaned as I took him in. Henry lays on top of me, but supports himself enough not to hurt me. I can feel his breath on my ear again. He bites my neck with slight aggression, enough to make me loud.

Removing his hand from my neck to grabbing my hair and somewhat tilting my head back, he thrusts hard into me again and again. The more he goes on, the more I am enjoying every inch. My hands are clinching the sleeping bag in hopes of not losing it just yet. I am nearly to the point of releasing what sexual tension he has built up. I sound as I am gasping for air, enjoying him too much. I feel him lay closer to me and he turns my face towards him and kisses me from my lips onto my neck. “Why are you so perfect for me?” He asks in my ear as he is slowly pumping into me in an affectionate way.

The burly man lifts up off of me, “I want you to turn around, please,” almost as if he was asking instead of demanding. This was nearly as much of a turn on because it was like he had gotten romantic, all of a sudden, instead of being the crazed sex monster that had just preformed. I turned around as he asked. He slips both of my legs upon his shoulders to sense a different angle to get off on. He focuses on putting his tip at the beginning of my hole. Then, unhurriedly sunk each inch into me. Leaning closer to me, he is trying to test my limits. How flexible am I? How far can he get in at this angle? Will it be too deep for me?

I grow quiet in response to the amount of dopamine that my body is releasing into my system. I am almost in shock of how good he makes me feel. He enjoys it as much as I do, I’m sure. “Are you okay?” He is always so reassuring, making sure that everything is within my consent. Someone who is a true gentleman is hard to comeby.

“mmhhmm, just keep going,” I said in a soft voice as I’m not sure why I was still holding everything in. Maybe it’s because I’m testing his limits as well. I want to see how far he’ll go to get a rise out of me, or if he’ll let go before I do. Does he dare let me think he can’t keep up with me? I highly doubt it. He may be quite a few years my elder, but he is far more healthier than I am; even after all the damage his body has been through in his lifetime.

He stopped sliding in and our faces were towards one another. Foreheads and noses touching, I could almost kiss him. We just gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment as there is absolutely nothing in between us anymore. He pulls out and pushes back in repeatedly. His rhythm is growing rapidly, but soft enough that it is intensifying every nerve. I hold on to his thighs to feel more of him, but the sensation is so breathtaking that I almost go numb from feeling so good. Out of my control, I feel my fingernails dig into his thighs and I hear him grunt softly from it; Only making him keep on going.

Henry leans up, leaving my legs on his shoulders, and with him still inside. He reaches for my throat again, leaving him in charge of me completely. His other hand is supporting his weight, while holding my hand. Still giving it to me in the best way, he squeezes a little tighter around my throat and fucks me longer and harder. I love being tested. It isn’t just to test my limits, but to test my trust for him. Only he can turn me on in this way, for he is the only one I truly trust. My free hand is digging my nails into his shoulder once more. His poor back has been torn up since we’ve been together, but I just can’t help myself. We are both breathing so heavy, that I almost can’t hear the music. He is as sweaty as I am, and I don’t mind at all.

In an instance, I feel a sudden gush of release from two different angles. At this moment, I nearly scream in climax, “Oh! mmm, Henry!” and both of us stopped and our bodies went limp from exhaustion. My legs were shaking from all that they’ve endured. We are both out of breath, and we rest while we try to catch it. There is quite a mess in between us, a constant result that happens when we do such things together.

After a few moments of rest, we are still so tired from loving each other so hard. The man’s thick arm reached over my head to grab his shirt. He, then, gives it to me. “Ladies first,” he offered.

I take his shirt and wipe myself off as best as I could. I give it back for him to do the same. Henry sits up and collects some sort of clothing items on the side of him. “Here Vee, I knew you wouldn’t want to go searching for those,” he said as he was handing me a clean t-shirt from his clothes. I take it out of his hand and give him a kiss as a thank you.

We both get half-way decent just so we can snuggle up to one another. I face towards him, so I can see his eyes twinkle along with the sky. He stares back at me and I feel at home. He doesn’t have any ulterior motives. He just wants to love me and to have me. Henry really strives to just see me happy, but what is happiness if I’m not with him? I smile sweetly at him, feeling at ease in his arms right now. “You are so fucking beautiful,” Henry pointed out, “I love you.” He kisses my forehead with tenderness.

“And I, you, Dear,” I smile and nuzzle into his fitted chest once again tonight. The music is still playing in the background. After being satisfied at such great measures, I am growing tiresome. My eyes drift closed due to being so heavy. I hardly hear the radio as I am actually listening to his heart beat for me. It has become my nightly ritual to make it my lullaby. It’s the best song I have ever heard and it’s like it was only written for me. He is only for me as I am only for him. There’s nobody else anymore. I can fall asleep with him tonight being at peace with that.

I don’t feel the sort of stickiness I’m used to from sleeping outside. Arizona is a dry climate. Humidity doesn’t exist in a place like this. When I open my eyes, I immediately realize that I’m not next to my other half. Where did he go? I think to myself as I rub my eyes and situate his shirt correctly onto my body. I stand up and notice my feet were bare. It hardly bothers me anymore. I’m growing more comfortable with every inch of my body as I spend more time inder Henry’s influence. I feel the rock solid ground underneath me. It’s warming up from the rays in the sky, not yet burning my feet. It must be quite early in the morning here in the Grand Canyon. I walk carefully to the vehicle, avoiding any stubbing of the toes. Creeping to the trunk, I stop feeling panicked looking for him as I’ve spotted him trying to make himself decent to gather our belongings and hit the road. He never wastes any time.

“Good morning, Gorgeous!” he roars out of excitement. I am not a morning person. He is my polar opposite when it comes to that. I adore that about him. It makes mornings a lot easier to deal with. The fact that I, now, have the desire to really and truly live makes it easier.

“Mm, good morning to you,” I reply sleepily as I walk up behind him. I rest my head into his back as I wrap my arms around him, with my hands on his chest. No matter how hot it is, we’re never close enough.

He closes the trunk and turns towards me. Looking down my direction with his dough brown eyes, “are you —.”

“PANCAKES!” I perked up, all energized, answering his question before it could escape his lips.

“—hungry...” he smiled as he finished his sentence involuntarily. Henry kisses my forehead and gazes back down at me, “let’s go get pancakes.”

“Yum!” I say excitedly, yet quietly. We both head down to our canyon love pallet to pack it away. Working as a team, we have it all put away in a hurry. Then, I get dressed in a My Chemical Romance black tee with white cut-off shorts. I always strut my black Vans with the translucent rainbow checkers and classic white line. My shoelaces are straight laced. I have little-to-no fear if someone sees my body as I trade outfits. There’s only me and him.

We are all ready and set to go to get pancakes from the nearest town, wherever that is. I pull out my new phone, because why would I need my old number or old phone? “Hey, Siri!” I demand an answer from the AI on my phone. I look at Henry until I get an answer. That’s a thing I do. I just like to look at him. Take in every detail at any moment. Sometimes Siri is stuck on buffering mode anyway.

#writing #stories #forbidden love #runaways #fantasy #intimate #romantic plot #rated m

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mymoodwriting · 4 years

Text

Kindness Goes A Long Way

F!Reader x Sicheng

Genre: Post Apocalypse AU

Warning: Manipulation, Illusions, Murder, Blood, Trauma

Words: 2.1K

Chapters:

Prompt: The end of the world is hard to accept as it is, but it’s even harder to be alone. It seems fate had brought you to Sicheng, someone who can definitely survive in the abandoned waste land that had become of Earth. You then find yourself with a group of others, and you might just have a chance at survival. The only problem is there’s something off about the group, something they’re not telling you, and it might mean the difference between life and death.

You woke up in Sicheng arms. It was always a bit surprising to you that he felt so warm, almost like he was human. The fact that he’d also lay down with you and close his eyes, imitating sleep, was also a bit weird. He seemed rather peaceful too. You tried getting out of bed, but his grip on you tightened a bit.

“No, not yet.”

“What?”

“Sh.”

A light dizzy spell hit you and you laid your head back down on the pillow. You could see Sicheng’s glowing blue eyes through your hazy vision. He reached over and moved a strand of hair out of your face, just watching you.

“Johnny came by last night… wanted to check up on you, but you were asleep.”

“Hm…”

“So, he said you should stop by the medbay in the morning.”

“Okay…”

A few more minutes passed before you were finally allowed to get up. Sicheng kissed your head and took the chip off, letting you gain back your senses. You got out of bed and prepared for the day. Johnny had already mentioned your check up to others so you wouldn’t be expected for a while in the kitchen. Sicheng also made it clear he wasn’t happy about the morning visit, but you had to go alone. When you got to the medbay Johnny greeted you.

“Hey, good morning.”

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah. Haechan told me you weren’t doing so well yesterday, asked me if I could check up on you.”

“Oh… I’m fine…”

“That’s good to hear, but while you’re here anyway, do you mind if I run some tests?”

“Um… I guess so.”

“Cool. Have a seat.”

You sat down on one of those beds you’d find in a check up room. Johnny went through the procedural stuff, heart rate and blood pressure, then said he wanted to run some others, like blood tests and x-ray scans.

“You know, I’m the doctor around these places, every type too. Well I like to think so. If you want to talk to someone, I’m all ears.”

“Thanks…”

“Now, I do have a question for you, have you been sleeping okay?”

“Um… sometimes…”

“And the other times?”

“Nightmares.”

“About?”

“The usual… what happened that day…”

“Ah, yes, sorry to hear about that. Is it why you have a mistrust of people.”

“What?”

“Sorry, you just seem very… shy around people. I don’t mean to pry, we can end the conversation here.”

“No you’re fine… I just didn’t think another person would kill me…”

“They didn’t, you lived.”

“Yeah… Sicheng came and… saved me.”

“That’s when he found you right? Him and his group?”

“Yes.”

“How are you with them? Friends?”

“I’d say so. I’m alive thanks to them, and they’re very smart.”

“Yeah, bunch of tough guys.”

The door to the medbay opened and you both looked over, seeing Haechan walk in. He immediately smiled when he saw you, rushing over.

“Y/n!”

“Hi, Haechan, what are you doing here?”

“Talked to the council, I’m Johnny’s assistant now.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yup, you should come by and visit me often.”

“Will do.” You smiled. “Do you have any more tests or should I go now?”

“Um…” Johnny looked at some files. “Yeah, we’re good. I’ll call you if the results are weird.”

“Okay, thanks. I’ll see you two around.”

You said your goodbyes and made your exit, going to work. Once you were gone Johnny pulled Haechan close.

“What?”

“So I went to go see y/n last night…”

“And?”

“Um… she was asleep… I thought I could wake her but that’s when I saw it…”

“Saw what?”

“There was a chip on her head.”

“A chip… you mean… those mind control ones… the bots use…”

“Yeah…”

“How is that possible! Those… the people she came with… but-”

“They passed their tests coming in, they’re human.”

“No, no that’s not… then where did that chip come from? You told me y/n hasn’t known them for long… wait… can’t those things mess with memory?”

“I… I don’t know, all we know is that they put the victim in a trance like state and they do whatever they’re told.”

“These things are advance, why wouldn’t they be able to mess with our heads.”

“I… I guess… old theories say it’s possible to plant suggestions and alter behavior when someone is in a trance.”

“We need to tell the council this. Human or not, we can’t trust those guys and y/n-”

“Would be treated like the enemy as well. She’d get locked up and interrogated or whatever else the council would want to do to them. We can’t tell anyone, not yet.”

“Oh shit.”

“What?”

“Jungwoo… he brought them here… could he be… compromised too?”

“I don’t know, we have no way of knowing. Look we don’t know anything, and we can’t tell anyone, not yet.”

“Then when? Those… things have been here for weeks, doing who knows what! And one of those things shares a bed with y/n! We have to-”

“Haechan, we don’t know what the council will do with her or Jungwoo. If they’re compromised they’ll be treated the same. Thrown out or killed or worse, we need to be able to prove that she’s not one of them. Besides right now we don’t have any evidence, I just saw a chip on her head. That little bit of information will just make the council act rash, we need more.”

“Ugh, fine, whatever, but how are we going to get more evidence?”

“I just ran some tests on y/n and drew some blood. Maybe we can find something there.”

“Alright… alright… let’s find something.”

♥♥♥♥♥

Once you had a break in your shift, Sicheng came by to pick you up. He took you to the garden, something you found impressive considering it was underground. There was a special way to get sunlight down there and keep the plants alive, and it was worth it to have such beauty. You find a nice little place to sit down among the flowers, children playing around you. Sicheng pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on your head. As you looked around tears started building up.

“Sicheng…”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want anyone to die here… please…”

“I don’t want anyone to die either, but that only happens if everyone cooperates. My calculations say that is highly unlikely. We’ll try to keep the casualties low, promise.”

You started to feel fuzzy and closed your eyes for a moment, yet when you opened them everything had changed. You pulled away from Sicheng and looked around. You weren’t underground anymore, but outside, sitting on a grassy hilltop with the sun shining down. In the distance you could see some buildings, and what you believe were other people.

“What… where am I? How did I get here? What happened?”

“Easy.” Sicheng pulled you back into his arms. “We didn’t go anywhere, I’m just showing you something.”

“Ha… how?”

“That’s not important. I wanted to show you my home, and I want to bring you here soon.”

What you saw was rather beautiful and peaceful, certainly looked like paradise. Your head got fuzzy again and you closed your eyes. When you opened them you were back in the underground garden. You rubbed your eyes, trying to make sure what you were seeing was real.

“How did you do that without a chip?”

“Hm.” Sicheng just smiled. “I’m just glad it worked.”

♥♥♥♥♥

While you made your way back to work you had a rather prominent smile on your face. He just wanted to take you home, and you couldn’t help but smile over that sentiment.

“Y/n!”

You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard your name, seeing that Haechan had been waiting for you.

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“Just wanted to check on you. Also ask if you wanted to hang out tonight.”

“Hang out? What is there to do around here.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Then what are we doing?”

“That’s a secret, but I promise it’ll be worth it.”

“Okay then, tonight.”

“Tonight.”

You didn’t tell Sicheng about your night time gathering, not wanting him to reject it and force you to bed. You met up with Haechan, who had brought Johnny and his friend Mark. With the place being below ground there were a lot of caves, many you hadn’t explored yet, and many that were apparently still being built. You followed them to the garden and into some of the caves. It was a bit dark but then you came to this rather big, round, place.

“Is this it?”

“Look up.” Haechan giggled. “That’s why we’re here.”

You gave him a curious look before doing as he said. You saw a sky full of stars, and it was amazing. You were so excited, bouncing about. Johnny grabbed your hand, pulling you down. The best way to star gaze was while laying down, and he brought a blanket and snacks.

“You know, I hope one day I can look at the sky from the ground.” Mark said. “It’ll be like getting closer to the stars…”

“Very poetic.” You commented. “I’ve never seen the stars like this before.”

“It’s beautiful.”

Despite the beautiful view you felt sleepy. This seemed like a nice place to rest for a moment and you knew the boys would wake you up. As you began to close your eyes you suddenly jumped awake, for a moment not aware of your surroundings and looking frantically around before passing out.

You found yourself far from reality. Your vision was hazy, but as you looked around you knew where you were. Bodies surrounded you, mostly head injuries. You heard a gun cock and immediately ran. You were in a store, it’s where the group had set up camp for the night, there had to be somewhere you could hide. As you ran you could hear the footsteps following you. The fear and panic caused you to trip up and you tumbled to the floor.

You turned back in fear, trying to crawl away, but being at the barrel end of a gun made you freeze. You thought you were gonna die like the rest when your would be killer suddenly dropped dead. You were still in shock but you managed to see a knife sticking out of the guys head, and someone else approaching you. Fear overtook you again and you tried to get away but the other person got to you, pulling you up and into their arms. They held you close while you cried, assuring you that you were safe.

Haechan had you in his arms, trying to shake you out of whatever was happening, but you just stared up blankly at the ceiling. The three boys were panicking, not sure what to do with you. Johnny said you needed to be taken back to the medbay where they could look after you better. Just as they were about to go you screamed and regained your senses. You pushed Haechan away and scrambled to your feet. Disoriented and unsure of where you were or who the boys were.

They tried to calm you down, assuring you they were friends, but it did nothing to help. You saw an opening and made a run for it. The walls were all the same, so you didn’t know if you were actually getting anywhere. While frantically running about you crashed into someone. You screamed at first until you saw who it was and then hugged them tight.

“Make me forget!” You screamed. “Sicheng, please, make me forget that day!”

When Sicheng heard footsteps approaching he held you tight. Haechan and the other two appeared, surprised at his presence but then concerned over you. Well two of them were, Haechan seemed mad, wanting to say something but Johnny held him back.

“Sicheng, funny seeing you here.”

“I heard screaming, and I know what hers sound like.” You whimpered. “Please be careful around her. And I would prefer you not take up her nights, she needs rest.”

“Y/n can do whatever-”

“We understand.” Johnny cut Haechan off. “Sorry for the trouble, hope she sleeps well.”

“Good night.”

Sicheng pulled you along, taking you back to your room. Johnny kept his grip on Haechan until it was just the three of them again. He sighed in relief, worried that things might not have gone so smoothly.

“How did he get here?” Mark asked.

“Huh?” Haechan said. “What are you talking about?”

“Not many know of these tunnels, and isn’t he new? How did he even come this far to find her?”

Johnny and Haechan shared a look, the suspicious remarks making them both uneasy. Mark of course noticed the look, wondering what it was for.

“What?”

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

Text

Honeysuckle

(READ ON AO3)

Description: Fate seemed to have other plans in store for Saeran and Saeyoung Choi then what they ever expected. One path that is bathed in the light and the other is drowned in the darkness. They are taking different roads and what will happen when those roads diverge? One time will tell their fates and if they're destined to be happy or wrought with sorrow.

Vampire AU.

Pairing(s): Choi Saeran/Original Female Character(s), Choi Saeran/Original Female Character(s), Choi Luciel/Main Character/Original Male Character(s)

Past Chapters: Chapter Two | [TBA]

Act III

Saeran hated what he had become with every fiber of his being that no words could be used to describe the indisputable pain that he was experiencing.

He was changed into something against his will and even though he had escaped that wretched woman and run away from Rika, he still wasn't free from the wounds they inflicted on him. Even in freedom, shackles still dug into the flesh on his ankles and held him down.

He was doomed to living like a monster for the rest of his unnatural life and he hated himself. He who sucked the life from others like a leech to survive. He truly was a bug, and they had been right. Perhaps that thinking was why he found himself sitting on the ledge of a bridge in the middle of the night.

His feet kicked over the edge and eyes staring down at the water below. It was raging and rushing along jagged rocks that would likely kill or mane a human at the very least if they took a stumble or hopped over the edge.

Would it be enough to destroy him? He wondered.

Nothing had worked thus far and he doubted this would do it. All he could think about was freeing himself from the chains thrust upon him. He thought he would be free in death, but as a Vampire, he was no more free then he had been as a breathing human.

He dug his nails into the palm of his hand as firmly as he could. It would bring no blood and even if he hurt himself out would heal in a matter of seconds. He would never again feel the pain that many mortals did and while that may have felt like a dream after years of feeling the worst pain one could ever feel; It was turning into a miserable reality.

He knew no pain but he knew what it felt like to be denied the very things he always wanted. This was the curse of eternal life.

What he longed for and loved was taken from him.

The ability to choose what he wanted to do with his life and have nobody stopping him from what he wanted to do. That’s what he had longed for and now he had to live this damned life without a choice. Never again would he see the sun or feel its rays against his skin… at least, not in the way that he wanted.

The Savior… no, Rika, had forced him to feel the sunshine in this damned body and it hurt more than anything he had ever experienced. Even the memory of the pain he had suffered for a year at her hand brought shivers down his spine as well as the memory of the pain on his flesh. He would be damned if he allowed himself to think about it.

Whips… chains… locks… ropes… they were nothing compared to the burn of the sun.

Saeran felt ill just trying to ward those thoughts away.

He had spent the last few months trying to fight his urges and get rid of himself when the weight of his actions took over his body; And, he felt the guilt of taking lives and drinking the blood from innocent people who didn't deserve a leech such as him draining from their life.

Nothing that he ever did to himself worked, unfortunately, and no matter how much he clawed at himself or prayed this undead suffering would go and come to an end, it never did. His body always healed itself when wounds appeared.

It was just like the universe was playing a cruel and sick joke on him. That was all Saeran Choi was. A big fat joke for the cosmos to laugh at and play with.

Nothing more and nothing less.

He felt like a monster and he was a real monster, just as people had always told him that he would turn out to be. As Saeran stared down at the water below his feet, he really prayed that this suffering would come to an end.

He stood up and took a breath that his lungs did not need.

Then, he started to count down from ten in the back of his head and just as he reached the number seven, a voice rang out in his ears-

“I guess somebody beat me here.”

“...?”

He turned his head and the breeze picked up, giving him a view of a girl in a white dress and a barely thick enough jean jacket over her shoulders. The wind blew her hair from her face and revealed somber brown eyes that he suddenly felt the weight off as soon as he saw them. The faint rings of red around her eyes were from crying.

He knew that all too well.

His hand rested against the rail, “You too, then?” Saeran inquired, quietly.

She didn't move but her eyes never lost that sad sheen to them. This was strange and new to him. She saw him but she wasn't running away from him like every other person that had seen him thus far had done. Had she not seen the reds of his eyes? The thirst he was fighting?

“I suppose so,” she admitted.

Her blood was likely very sweet. He could sense that much. The energy that surrounded her felt like it might have been as warm as the sun but he didn’t know for certain. This tiny girl in front of him couldn't have been any taller than just tall enough to meet his shoulder at the tip of her head, and yet, he was more fearful of her then she was of him at that moment.

It wasn't her he feared, it was his bloodlust.

He had taken to surviving on animals when he could do so, and while that blood did help him feel like he could go on, it was never anything compared to the energy that he gained from humans. He could control himself from the short supply but the thirst in the back of his throat left him begging for more no matter how hard he protested.

He wouldn’t go into a frenzy now.

It grew quiet.

The sounds of her footsteps rang in his eyes when he looked back down at the water below them.

She sat down on the other side of the poll next to him and looked to where he was looking. It was just the two of them, seemingly contemplating the same act. He knew why he felt everything was hopeless but now he was struck with the question of why somebody like this girl would think this way.

She kept her gaze trained on the ground and water, “I've been coming here a lot lately at night. I haven't seen you before.”

“...I'm not from here,” Saeran replied.

“Well, you picked a beautiful spot for what it's worth, stranger,” she continued. “You can't see it right now but the riverbed is covered in Tiger Lily. They're in bloom right now, and they've never been more lovely. As often as I come here I felt like there should have been something worth looking at while I think about everything.”

Saeran looked more closely at the grass. His vision was made for the night and nothing could escape that. This was the day time for beings such as himself and likewise, he had the power to see more than she could ever see.

He could see the flowers she spoke of below them and she was right. They were beautiful.

They were living next to this raging body of water with sharp rocks and rough seas. It was strange how flowers could bloom in spots where they didn't seem likely. They weren’t very common to this very particular spot but their orange tint breathed life into the area of green grass and grey rocks.

“I planted them,” the girl said as if answering his thoughts for him. “They’re said to bring positivity when used in the right circumstances, you know. I figured if I felt horrible enough to come here, I may stop myself from doing something if I saw life instead of death. I don’t always feel like I can keep going but if the flowers can thrive in areas like that… I don’t know. Maybe all this suffering can exist alongside something beautiful. There’s no reason for pain to exist but it does… but there are so many good things that are alive at the same time. If a flower can persist through the onslot of what appears to be a bad area then why couldn’t those who feel the same way not go on?”

This woman was clearly miserable.

Yet, she was trying to find some good reason to push off her intent to see if there was any happiness to be had. Saeran found himself looking at her now instead of the forty-foot drop. She felt his gaze on her form so she turned her head to "over at him with a weak smile.

“I realize that sounds kind of silly,” she mumbled. “It’s like when you tell people that your only friends are the flowers in your garden.”

He shook his head, “I don’t think it’s silly… to be honest with you, I used to do something similar when I was a child.”

There was suddenly a spark of life in those brown eyes as she gazed upon him. That false smile changed ever so slightly into a little genuine one. “Would it be odd of me to ask if you would rather talk tonight instead of jumping?”

Saeran found himself telling her that, “Not at all.”

They would continue to meet nightly for several days after that night. Saeran would find himself listen to everything that she had to say about her life and about her struggles.

She was the youngest child of two and everybody expected her to live up to the height that her older sibling had met. She fought to be better than anyone else in the world but she always failed in the eyes of her parents.

She never felt like she was good enough.

Yet, he couldn’t see the failure that she continued to say she saw when she looked into the mirror. This girl went beyond what was expected for her by others. Meaning she did everything and more then what her family did.

She worked most of the shifts at her family’s shop and she would always make a point of slipping stickers and a flower or two to a child when they came into the room. She even went as far as to always do the needed chores and never let anyone else take care of them.

Her days were busy and her nights were busy. She seemingly never had any rest but she was always trying to outdo the day before the last.

Saeran saw himself in her struggles. The long days that never had an end in sight and the time that went into trying to be a better person for somebody would never be fully satisfied with anything you did. That was the life that he had been leading for such a long time. He knew what it felt like to be suffocating.

Perhaps that was why it was so easy for him to speak with her about his own fears.

Of course, he would never admit the full story, and he omitted a lot of information to protect himself from the truth. But, it was the first time in years that he had been able to speak to anyone about what was bothering him. How much trepidation he felt about his caretakers, how he missed his brother and also felt like he hated him, and how he felt like he was a waste of space.

How he had no choice but to listen to the woman that was supposed to protect him from danger and neglect… how she warped his memory until he felt like he was going to go numb… how he ran away the first chance he got and the instance he realized that he needed to get out if he wanted to feel like he was in control of his actions and choices.

It went a little something like that.

She never spoke over him and she always heard him out until the very last word came out.

It felt like he was letting go of a weight that he didn’t even realize he had been holding in as he spoke about his pain and turmoil. He had thought that he had no choice but to end himself to make the pain stop, but it turned out that the pain could also be released just by talking about it.

Don’t get him wrong, it still hurt him. It just felt like he wasn’t balling it up to deal with on his own anymore. It was just that when he was with Lila… he felt like he was human again. He felt like what had been taken from him didn’t matter. She breathed life back into him and he desperately wanted her to believe that her life had meaning.

If he could do anything, he would want to stay close to her until her life played out. If the universe was giving him a chance to do something good, he would take it. If his undead life meant anything at all he would use it to ensure that her smile would exist as long as it possibly could ever grace the Earth with its presence.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Weeks would pass by without either of them noticing it. Day in and day out… Saeran would spend every evening that he could with Lila. She gave him something to do, and he provided her with the company that she had always wished to have at her side in the lonely garden of her life.

Much of the time he simply offered to help complete her work, and she graciously accepted. He may not have been able to lighten her stress but he could do something to make her feel like she wasn’t alone.

At first, that meant that helped her piece together flowers for bouquets. Other times, she’d be nice enough to relent and let him help her take care of thorns and bramble. He didn’t want her to get cut, partially because he wasn’t sure if he could handle her blood, but partly because she had very delicate hands.

He often let his mind wander to the chance if he would have met her before what happened to him had taken away his power to exist as a mortal.

Would he have been able to enjoy days in the sun with her? Would she have smiled at him from afar underneath a shady tree as his hands rested in a bit of dirt, tending to flowers? Would she have been content if he made her tea to enjoy? Would she have wanted to hold his hand and disappear into the ever expansion flora and fauna?

Most of all, would she want to be around him?

Sometimes he feared that he was using the allure and charm that vampires had to make her like him so much but he wasn’t consciously trying to do that. He always avoided her eyes and tried to keep his distance even though he desperately wanted to hold her hand. So, it couldn’t have been that that was making her want to be around him.

Lila genuinely seemed to like him.

He really couldn’t wrap his head around that one. What was that feeling and how did he ever begin to understand what that felt like? Everyone else on this planet seemed to know what they were doing and how to handle these feelings and Saeran didn't have a clue. Nobody had ever liked him. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to handle that feeling. It was buzzing and made his head feel faint. His knees felt wobbly and he felt tonguetied. Saeran didn’t have a word for the feeling that he had but he was greedy for it, and he wished to feel more of it.

Of her eyes on him… of her smile towards him… that kindness that she shared with him. He wanted to feel all of it and more. Perhaps that was after being around her for such a long time, he felt like he really needed to be honest with her about what he was feeling. He had never been a selfish man but God, her smile made him feel so at peace. Was this what they meant when they said that there was somebody in the world that existed just for you? He wanted to know if she felt the same way.

Now, Saeran didn't really think that she would care for him in the same way that he had come to care for her in the last couple of weeks but that didn't mean that he couldn't tell her how he felt and how much she mattered to him.

“Lila,” he found himself saying very late one night as the moon began to set. “I want to meet you in at the garden’s center tomorrow evening.”

She looked up from the book that she was reading at the time, the two of them had just been enjoying each other’s company. Neither of them had really said anything. Saeran had been laid back against the grass and she was catching up on something she hadn’t been able to finish for weeks. They were both holding onto the other’s hand.

She gave him a squeeze.

“Do you know the way on your own?” she teased, playfully. “I don’t think I’ve taken you there before, Saeran. What if I’m waiting all evening and you don’t show up because you got lost in the patch of the forest of icy patches?”

“I promise I won’t fall into a pit of ivy,” his tone was deadpan. “I’m not as clumsy as you are. I had to pull you out of a briar brush the other day, you know? That’s much more dangerous than a bit of poison ivy.”

“Well, as long as you promise not to make trouble or bring up that story again to anyone if they ask you for a story about my great escapades. I guess it’s a date,” Lila smiled. “I hope to see you by the fountain before dawn.”

Saeran didn’t look in her direction because he didn’t think he could handle seeing what her face looked like underneath the moon’s glow.

“A date, huh?”

Little did Saeran know that this may be the last time that he sees Lila.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

It was late into the evening when Lila found herself lost deep in the winding path of the expansion gardens.

It wasn’t that she was lost, per se, it was that she waded so deep into the brush and bramble and didn’t look over her shoulder with the intention of going back early. She knew this area by heart and no map was required to carry her to the heart of the area.

Her heart was in a flurry.

Beating in a hurried tap, tap, tap as she thought of him.

She might have even said that she was excited at the prospect of the night ahead.

Even since she had started spending all of her evenings out speaking to Saeran, it felt like she was simply rejuvenated and ready to keep on living. Where the world had once felt dull and lifeless, it now felt as though there were a reason and a purpose for it.

The pain and struggle had an end in sight. At least, that’s what she would say if somebody inquired of her opinion.

Every moment that she spent with Saeran, she felt the weight of the world fall from her body. In a lifetime that had been nothing but frustration and a fight to feel deserving of the love that should have been given from the start, she felt as though she had finally found a source of compassion.

That wasn’t required to be given to her the kind that was rarely given by family. Someone who cared for her of their own free will and didn’t make her feel guilty for it. No, when she saw his smile, it felt like fireworks set off in her quaking heart.

When her hand brushed against his…

Nothing mattered except the two of them.

Lila almost couldn’t stop the gentle laugh from escaping her lips as she thought of how he spoke when he said that he wanted to see her tonight. How important it was that they speak about something. He had never been so prudent or so focused. He was always quiet and thoughtful when they were together that the spark in his eyes made her feel strange.

When he looked into her eyes… he spoke with intention. There was something that he wanted to say but he wanted to do it in the right place and at the right time. His voice still left tingles down her spine; If it hadn’t been the hour coming close to sunrise, he might have said what he wanted to say without warning.

He just always seemed to be busy during the day time doing all kinds of things.

Lila couldn’t help but wonder what he did during the day. She would sleep for a bit and then catch up on all of her work that needed to be done. But what did he do? Why was he always working so hard and then seemingly not tired for a moment when she was with him during the night?

Saeran only said that it was something where he could be holed up inside all day. That just sounded a lot like offices, she assumed often. That could be a place where you felt like there was nothing but the stark white walls around you. A sea of nothing but endless work and no fun to be had in the long run when work was crucial.

That’s why she was more than happy to spend the night with him underneath the moonlight where there were no walls, no ceilings, just space overhead alongside the moon, stars, and the ever expansive universe.

Whatever he was dealing with seemed to go away when he was outside. There had to be countless worries on his mind yet a flower could bring a smile to his face. His eyes would light up when she showed him flowers that he had not seen in person.

For somebody who had been unable to go outside a lot as a kid… he filled his imagination with as much information as he could gather about the world. She thought that she knew a lot about the world but he had answers before she could even rake her brain to remember if she knew the answer to a question, and she would always wind up pouting.

Saeran was a brillant person.

It was such a shame and horrible to think that nobody saw the worth in him when he had so much to offer to others. Lila saw in his eyes the spark of compassion. He may have looked a little rough around the edges but one should never judge a book by their cover. After all, what kind of person would she be if she thought differently of somebody for favoring leather over ribbons?

He may have looked dark and gloomy but he was every much as bright as she appeared to be to others on a good day. He may have instinctively assumed the opposite when he saw her in the light. With her petticoats and childish bows, nobody might have ever thought that somebody like her was as depressed as she was.

Perhaps that’s why they blended so well together.

They weren’t what people thought of them and the empathy that existed over mistranslations was stronger in numbers.

“...”

Lila found herself at the center of the garden after fifteen minutes of the endless path. She took a long way around instead of the shortcut. She wanted to give Saeran time to show up if he wanted to be the first to arrive, but if he wasn’t there before she was, she would still be happy nonetheless.

She stepped out from the maze and felt her feet brush against the cobblestone and took a look around to see if anyone was around.

Darn.

There was no one that she could see, which meant that she had beaten Saeran to here tonight. That wasn’t such a bad thing. It gave her time to think over what he may want to speak about and if it may have been what she thought it was.

She walked forward until she was out of the cover the brush and out in the open. This area had been paved over just a smidge to cover enough area for a fountain to be dead center as the rest of the garden was far more natural with man-made pathways that didn’t intrude too much into the natural order of things.

This was the last place that she had yet to show him so it was possible that may have lost his way even with the directions that she had told him with a smile. Well, he would figure it out sooner or later if she waited long enough. After all, she had no place to be tonight but here. She could wait until the sun rose if it meant that she could see him again.

Lila smiled. Her day just didn’t feel right she couldn’t at least speak to him once. These past few weeks had been the happiest in her life. She decided that she would settle into waiting for him. She took a seat on the edge of the fountain and looked up at the stars and waited for the time to pass.

She didn’t know how long she had been waiting after some time had passed but what she did know was that it was far later then it had ever been for him to arrive. He would always show up before this hour, she thought with a worried grimace.

What was the hold-up?

Where could he be?

Was he making her wait this long on purpose? No, that didn’t seem like something that Saeran would do. He wasn’t that kind of a jokester, at least, she was pretty sure that he wasn’t. She pursed her lips and glanced around once more to see if he was coming.

This time, her gaze rested on a shadowed figure that stood in the darkness. The moon was covered by the clouds and it was too dark to make out any features that showed their identity.

Lila stood up and narrowed her eyes to see if she could make out the form but nope, she couldn’t tell who it was from her vantage point. It didn’t seem like it was Saeran. He would always say that it was him when he arrived and whoever this was just standing and watching her from far.

Something in the air didn’t feel right, and her body was screaming at her to run. “Saeran?” she asked, hesitantly.

The lone figure did not budge, “Is there anything more like a fairytale than a maiden waiting for her prince to arrive for a chance encounter late at night? I would say there’s nothing more lovely than that to a girl with nothing but daydreams in her heart. The longing gaze in your eyes tells me you know the pleasure of what it feels like to be sought out by another person with love in their hearts. Isn’t that just lovely?”

That voice was feminine. She didn’t know that voice, either. People weren’t supposed to be on the grounds this late at night. That meant that this person had intentions that could have been anything from bad to good. Lila took a step back without even thinking about it, “Excuse me, miss? You aren’t supposed to be here.”

“Oh? But, you aren’t supposed to be here, either, dear,” the figure stepped out of the darkness at just the right moment for the moon to come out from the clouds. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that you should never be alone this late at night without someone to accompany you? Don’t you know what kind of monsters are waiting for pretty girls like you?”

What was this woman getting at? Monsters? That was something that you would tell a child to scare them for fun.

Well, she wasn’t a child and she had spent more time out in the woods than anyone else to be scared of a few wild animals. This was her family’s land and she had every right to be on it whereas this stranger didn’t have the blessing to be there.

Nobody was going to tell her that she couldn’t be where she had the right to do as she pleased. This woman, on the other hand, did not belong here. Lila’s gut was telling her that this woman was no good.

“I’m not alone,” Lila said, quickly. “My… my friend isn’t far away. He was coming to meet me tonight, not that it’s any of your business.”

Her hair was a golden yellow. She looked like she had been kissed by the sun with those perfect locks that curled around her face. She was wearing a simple black dress and heels that gave her the aura of power.

Her lips were curled into what you could call a smile, “Hahaha… oh, you must be mistaken about that one. Any business that involves my dear Saeran will always involve me, little one. I know you’re the one that has been filling his head with nonsense lately.”

This woman knew Saeran?

Saeran had said that he didn’t know anyone in this area and the people that he walked away from were miles and miles away from this place. How could somebody know him? He didn’t want to be known by a lot of people.

Unless… unless they had been following him to see where he went. That was the only explanation that made sense.

Her stomach twisted in knots at that realization as soon as it struck her head. He had said that he had run away to get far from his caretaker as she had done a lot of ill things to him in the past few years. It hadn’t been something he went into detail of, but it was bad enough that he couldn’t say more than just that.

Footsteps rang in her ears as the woman began to approach Lila. Her pace was slow but that look in her eyes spoke of danger that dare never be spoken into life lest it actually occurs. Lila began to step back until she could no longer put any more space between the two of them. Her back brushed against the tall hedge and her heart rate began to take flight.

“I thought he was just throwing a tantrum. You know, as children will tend to do after some time, they throw fits and get angry with their parents because they don’t understand what’s good for them. I let him get away for a little while to cool off and sort of those silly little thoughts in his head, and it would have been alright if he hadn’t taken spending all of his time with a human,” her tone was so bubbly and yet so icy at the same time.

“That wouldn’t have been so bad if he had decided to play with you. I thought if he got close to one of you, he would realize just how breakable and stupid you are all. He would realize humans are nothing but obsolete beings with false love in their hearts. You could have brought out the devil in him for me, and for that, I may have rewarded you if he didn’t break his plaything to pieces.”

She was so close to Lila now that she could see it.

Lila saw the truth in this woman’s eyes and the truth was painted red. It was as red as a rose or as red as her blood pouring through her veins. It was unnatural, unfeeling, and wrought with pure animosity. This woman… she was a monster, and this monster wanted nothing more than kill her and leave her to rot.

A hand reached out and brushed against Lila’s cheek. It was as cold as Saeran’s had been but strangely… colder. Lila shivered and trembled. Her body wanted her to run but her brain seemingly understood that if she ran, things would be much worse. She might not even get away if she tried to make a break for it.

This person wasn’t human.

No, she was a devil in human form.

“If he won’t break you… if he refuses to stop acting like a petulant child… if he refuses to see the truth, then I’ll have to fix everything for him. Even if he acts up, or says he hates me, I know the truth and I know what’s best for him. I’ll protect my sweet Saeran from the pain that I have suffered, and I’ll start by killing you. Then he’ll know that the only love that matters in this world is the devotion he has for me.”

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

The staunch smell of blood was thick.

It was so strong that Saeran was nearly taken back by it. He first thought that perhaps an animal had been hit by a car or something in that regard. It happened time from time and it would make an area smell like it was caked in blood. Yet, there was something about the scent in the air that seemed far too sweet to belong to a mere animal.

It made him uneasy and concerned. Saeran decided that he needed to get a move on, and he had been already set back by his own thirst. He had to take care of that before he knew he would be safe enough to be in Lila’s company. Even being able to sense life all around you didn’t make it any easier to get the blood you needed.

Saeran made his way through the familiar paths that Lila had pointed him down before, his body tight with dread. It had been such a long time since he had felt this. The last moment that he felt fear such as this had been after he came out of his animalistic instincts and realized what he had done to so many innocent people.

He dug his nails into his palms. It wouldn’t cause pain but it was enough to bring him out of those concerns.

He couldn’t focus on that feeling if he couldn’t seek out the source. It could very well be an animal but it could very well be something else. He didn’t know what it is but all he knew was that he needed to find Lila.

As far as he knew, she should have been waiting for him on her own in the middle of those flowers just minding her own business. Knowing her, she might have been waiting since the sunset. She would be toying with her phone or counting the stars in the sky.

Yet, the closer that he found himself getting to where she was supposed to be, the strongest the smell of blood grew to be. He didn’t want to believe it but the scent was sweet. That made him fearful. Had she gotten hurt again? Had she been clumsy and fallen down? Even if it was something silly, there should not have been this much blood in the air.

Whatever was going on…

It was not good.

That was all it took for Saeran to run the rest of the way to where she told him she would be waiting for him.

Saeran found himself stopping dead in his tracks when he finally found the doorway that opened out the hidden center of the garden of Lila’s life. He found himself unable to move once his eyes settled on the ground in front of him. It was electricity that went through his entire body and he had to press a hand to his mouth to stomach the stench of fresh blood.

There, in the center of the world, in the center of her world, the center of what had become his world too, was Lila laying on the ground, motionless and a gaping wound in her neck that looked like her throat had been ripped apart by a monster.

Her blood dripped from her body and covered the stone below it.

Just like that, the fears that he had for the past few months had come flaring back to life. He had been so afraid of hurting Lila that he never even thought that she could get hurt because of him. This was surely his fault. She was laying here, likely dead, because of how close he had allowed himself to become to her. Was this his punishment for letting himself believe that he could be happy for even a moment? Was this the universe reminding him that no matter what he did he would always have to go back to the people that hurt him? Was he not allowed to be happy? Even in this endless state of damnation?

He appeared at her side in an instant, the first thing he did was check to see if she was breathing. There was a very weak and shallow puff of air that escaped from her lips. She was barely breathing and if he didn't do something then she was going to die. She was going to die and leave him behind while he had to continue living in this world with nobody with him. He would go on knowing what it felt like to be cared for but he would never know what it felt like to have love at his side at all times.

Saeran pulled away and looked down at her once again.

This time, he was greeted by the sight of brown eyes that were ever-dulling by the passing second. There was a hint of clarity in them but it wasn't enough to say that she was totally aware of what was happening at that moment. He wanted to know what had happened, who had hurt her, who he needed to hurt... to kill... who he needed to get rid of to make up for this. But, he couldn't bring himself to ask her those grim questions. Rather, he found himself wanting to say all those things that he wanted to say to her this evening. How he wanted her to know that he cared about her so much and how he cherished what they had.

"Sae... ran...?" her voice croaked.

"I'm sorry," was the most that he could muster up as tears came to his eyes. "This is all my fault. I should have never let you be alone... I shouldn't have let you near me in the first place. I know this is my fault. I know it. I just know it. If I hadn't met you... if I would have been here sooner... If I just... if I wasn't such a coward... if I had just... I shouldn't have let you go yesterday. I never meant for this to happen to you. I wanted to protect you from pain and I'm the reason you're... you're..."

Saeran couldn't even say those words.

A trembling hand reached up from the corner of his eye. It shook and it twitched. Lila's hand pressed against his own after she struggled to find the use in her hand. Her skin was so white and pale that he feared she didn't have any blood left to stimulate the flow across her body. The vampire that had used her like a drink to empty and throw away carelessly had barely left anything behind to prove that she was a thriving human being.

Lila didn't look away from his eyes, and even though he wasn't sure if she could see him or not anymore, she smiled at him. She smiled at him with that very same smile that had stolen his heart from him the first time they had met.

"...ove... you..." her voice had grown even quieter and he couldn't barely pick up the sound. "...ran..."

Saeran jolted and looked down at her with the anguish in his body burning ever brighter. She was struggling with herself, and he could see it. Lila was fighting the sleep that would come over her body forever as hard as she could. As they both stared at one another underneath the pale moonlight, her lips mouthed the words that she so desperately wanted for him to hear one final time, "What? What is it, Lila?"

Her eyes couldn't even fight to stay open anymore. Her lungs drew in and she managed to muster every ounce of strength that she had left in her body at that moment, and Saeran's unbeating heart felt every single word of it as that delicate voice hummed to him like an angel. Her hand went limp in his own, and he could hear it ringing in his ears over and over again as if like the beat of a drum that had no end, "I love you."

She stopped moving.

Saeran tried to shake her shoulders and he tried to get her to wake back up but no matter how hard he cried or how much he screamed, she wouldn't wake back up. Her body was no longer as warm as the sun. It was as cold as his own flesh. Be it out of his own fear at the prospect of losing Lila, or the fact that she never got to hear him say those very back to her, Saeran would ever know, but at that moment where his love lay unmoving, he acted out of nothing but the desire to save her life from ending. He knew nothing of what he was doing except for feeling that what he was doing was the right thing for him to do.

The venom that had once dug into his skin when he was transformed now existed in his own veins, and it instilled into him the power to do the same very thing.

Against all other thoughts and judgments, his fangs sunk into her flesh at every spot he had within his reach. He didn't know how many times he would have to do it. She didn't have a lot of blood in her body and he could barely feel her pulse. From her arms to anywhere he could dig his teeth into, it may have been overkill, but he wasn't going to let her die on him without having done everything that he could do to ensure that she could keep on living in this world.

Even if she would have to live in the darkness of the night...

the world would be a better place having her in it than without.

He wouldn't know it worked for sure until days had passed by and her wounds would slowly begin to heal themselves. It wasn't all at once. It happened day by day. He watched her minute by minute and hour by hour as if transfixed by her being. Saeran had taken her back with him to the house where he was staying to keep her away from the sunlight and to protect her from human interaction. He had cleaned up most of the blood but the smell of it was still locked into his memory no matter how hard he scrubbed at his hands and arms. He didn't know what it looked like on the outside when this happened, as he had only been changed himself a few years ago.

He was never allowed to see when it happened to others.

She looked like a sleeping beauty in her death-like state but he knew, he knew that she had to be suffering the same miserable heat of this damnation. He just prayed that the moment that she woke up that she wouldn't hate him for what he had done to save her life. Her cheeks weren't as rosy as they once were but he cared not for that, all he cared for was the hope that she would be alright when she awoke to him.

And she eventually did, a week and a half later, with eyes as red as an apple and a thirst to go with them that would be sated. Yet, in those red eyes of his at that moment, he could see the same very woman that he had come to love after all this time. Saeran was on his knees at her side, with his hands pressed against her knees as he begged and pleaded for her forgiveness for what he had done to her in that dead of night.

Lila's hand pressed to the top of his hand and offered an all too familiar gesture.

She wasn't angry with him.

"I love you too," he whispered.

"I know," she said.

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jinterlude · 5 years

Text

What A Cliché (Prologue)

↳ story aesthetic made by @today-we-will-survive for the BA’s Summer Content Creator Exchange!

» Pairing(s): Kim Seokjin x OC (female) [feat. the rest of the BTS & OC best friend)

» Genre(s): Parenthood!AU, Veterinary!AU, Business!AU, Enemies turned Lovers Trope, Romance, Friendship, Humor, Fluff, & Slight-Angst

» Keyword for Event: Carnival

» Warning(s) & Rating: Swearing / PG-13

» Words: 5.2K (5260)

» Summary: When people hear the phrase, “Well that’s a first...” it’s usually because something shocking or amazing has occurred. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for one Park Sumin. Going from working in an office to visiting the local carnival, she had some rather interesting first experiences. Ranging from trying out some carnival food to questioning her engagement to Lee Seonghwa (AOMG’s Gray), never in her life did she think that she would run into someone her brain had blocked out for years. Can you say a fun filled summer that not only would change her life but his as well.

◃ Previously | Next Time ▹

Prologue: Meet the New Neighbor

“You know…I have a feeling that you two would make the perfect couple someday…”

“By perfect, you mean that I’d want to kill him every waking moment I can get, right?”

“Nah, my precious little ray of sunshine. I mean that one day, you two will make gorgeous looking children to the point that I’m going to “borrow” one of them to pick up guys.”

A look of utter and complete disbelieve washed over her face as she felt her eye twitch just a smidge from her best friend’s remark.

And just as she opened her mouth to retort, an annoying voice rang in her ears. The one voice she took years of practice to block out him from her memories. Until that evening, she had long forgotten the prick that made her life a living Hell, but fate had an interesting idea of entertainment and unfortunately, she had become the main character of this stupid little sitcom.

God help her…

“You should learn to smile more often, princess! You might land more dates that way!”

“That’s it! Listen here you annoying fucking gnat!”

Eight Hours Earlier…

Letting out yet another long, exasperated sigh, a visibly tired young woman rubbed the sides of her forehead, trying her hardest to not only ignore the unbearable heat that lingered in her office but her rather extra chatty friend. The poor girl had honestly forgotten why she invaded her workplace in the first place. That was how long the rather one-sided conversation had become.

“Okay, Sowon, I love you, but please for the love of God get to the point.” Said the exhausted girl.

A tiny groan escaped Sowon’s lips as she narrowed her eyes onto her friend.

“I did get to my point, Sumin.” She flashed a bright smile further irking Sumin, “Now, I’m just rambling since I noticed you zoned out around the five-minute mark.” She stated, smiling sweetly.

Her bottom lip practically disappeared as Sumin suppressed the growl that brewed in the back of her throat. Did Sowon seriously ramble her ear off just because she tuned her out twenty-minutes ago?

If she had more friends, Sumin would’ve had honestly dropped Sowon years ago but alas, she didn’t. The career driven young woman had no time for herself, let alone go out and meet new people. She had always been like this ever since high school. She dedicated her time to her studies and a few extracurricular activities.

And that was exactly how she liked it.

She had seen her fellow classmates become a social mess. She had witnessed physical fights, loud, obnoxious arguments between love sick individuals, and that only scratched the surface of her high school experience and she gladly kept it that way.

She never dated. She never went to any of the sports games that were played at her school. Shit. She never attended any of her school dances, especially prom. Instead, she researched universities that had the best business program and weighed the pros and cons of attending them.

After days and nights of agonizing over which university to attend to, she finally settled on applying to USC because their business program was on par with those out of the country, and the rest was history.

Now, here she sat in her office chair while Sowon, who she met during her sophomore year of college in biology, stared her down. Her gaze intensified with each passing moment. That was Sowon’s superpower. Sumin didn’t know how Sowon does it, but with just one simple stare, Sumin submitted easily.

And quite frankly, she both despised it yet was thankful for it. It was because of her best friend that she slowly came out of her shell. She actually became more aware of her surroundings.

Go figure?

A few more minutes passed by and tiny whines left her lips as Sumin clutched important documents that contained hypothetical numbers of the projected money flow for the next six months.

“I can keep this up, sunshine.” Sumin heard Sowon taunt. She could practically hear the smugness radiate from her words.

Finally, the poor girl had enough. She slammed the paper down on her desk, unleashing the pent-up frustration that settled in the pit of her stomach.

“Fine! I’ll go to the stupid summer carnival with you! Now, will you please stop staring at me!?” Sumin practically roared, secretly thankful that her office was soundproof.

Sowon smiled proudly as she leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Done.”

Meanwhile…in a different part of the city…

Brows knitted together. Tiny drops of sweat trickled down his forehead. The sound of heart rate monitors mixed with his heavy breathing filled the operating room. This bright, luminescence bulb emitted this heat that felt like the sun was directly above the man’s head. However, he didn’t let it deter him from the task at hand. He quickly asked the nurse for his water and took a few sips through the straw before resuming the surgery.

“Sir,” The man heard one of his assistants speak, “Have you thought about the possibility of reconstructive surgery instead of removing the shard fragment?”

The determined man sighed before a small smile appeared on his handsome face.

“I have thought about it, but that would be the effortless way out. This innocent creature doesn’t deserve something that would only complicate her life some more, “He paused, wiping away a bit of sweat from the side of his forehead, “Besides, I think of this a big “fuck you” to that evil, cruel person that could harm a defenseless puppy. I’m going to save her if this is the last thing I do.” He finished with this sense of purpose flowing throughout his veins as he resumed operating on the puppy, praying that he wasn’t too late.

But luckily…

He wasn’t…

It took him the rest of the day to the point that he had his receptionist unfortunately cancel the remaining appointments, but he saved the puppy’s life. The last shard fragment was wedged in an area where one false movement with his knife and tweezers, the puppy would've died right on the operating table. That specific situation had been every veterinarian’s nightmare, but just like with any nightmare, it sometimes fades away and soon replaced with a relaxing dream. A dream where resulted in this state of euphoria and great night’s sleep. That was why he took this job as a veterinarian. He wanted to ensure that the animals that came into his office left with a peaceful state of mind.

And so far, so good. His track record remained spotless. He could now go home with a bright smile knowing that he saved yet another brutally injured animal.

Currently sitting in his office, the tired yet happy veterinarian typed out something in the body of the email message. He muttered a few words as he read his paragraph repeatedly until it sounded right.

The sounds of clicking of the keyboard bounced of the four walls until this knock joined in.

“Come in.” He said quickly.

“Hey, Seokjin!” greeted the stranger cheerfully.

Seokjin’s eyebrows raised as he peeked around his computer monitor. He knew that voice, and that particular voice didn’t usually visit his office unless the person wanted something.

His eyes flickered back to the screen as his fingers resumed typing away, hoping that this email would be sent out before 7 o’clock in the evening.

“What do you want, Jungkook? Can’t you see that I’m busy?”

Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head as he flopped down on the chair in front of his friend’s desk.

“Yeah, I can see that. I’m not blind…well…not yet.”

Seokjin snorted, “I’m honestly surprised that you’re not actually. All those years of playing video games with the lights off,” He pushed up his glasses just a bit, “Guess I wasn’t blessed with a strong eyesight to begin with.” He said; the corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards.

Jungkook playfully clicked his tongue, “Yeah. I guess not,” A short chuckle left his lips, “But, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and the rest of the fellas to the summer carnival that’s currently in town?” He asked, flashing Seokjin an overly sweetly smile combined with his signature innocent, charming gaze. One gaze like that and his older friends were practically putty in his hands. It came in handy during their high school years. Well…up until his sophomore year…his friends graduated one by one, so he had no one left to use it on.

Sad day in the life that was Jeon Jungkook.

“You do realize that this isn’t high school, and I’m not this 18-year-old teen that you can easily manipulate, Kook.” Seokjin stated bluntly, fully aware of his purely innocent “stare”. He didn’t even to peer over his computer screen to know. Jungkook’s tone of voice gave it away.

Though, that didn’t deter the young lad. It was rare for all seven of them to be in town for the summer, so he wanted to cherish it. As soon as Seokjin graduated high school, everyone just went their separate ways. Sure, they had their group chat that had constant activity whether it was from someone sending random memes or simply asking how their day was. But it just wasn’t the same.

Even though his friends didn’t know this, Jungkook needed them. He couldn’t quite establish a bond that matched the one he shared with Seokjin and the rest of his little motley crew.

They were definitely one of a kind…

“What’s with that smile, Kook? Last time you smiled like that it was because you found a lamb skewer stand with Yoongi.” Seokjin’s voice forcibly pulled Jungkook out of his peaceful thoughts.

“Oh, this smile?” He pointed at his lips, “It’s nothing…say…when is that little ray of sunshine coming by?” Jungkook asked vaguely, drawing out his sentence.

Seokjin hummed in response as his eyes scanned the last remaining sentences of his email. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Oh, according to her mother, she’s dropping off Areum this evening,” He quickly checks his phone, scrolling through his messages from his ex-wife, “Around 9 o’clock in the evening.” He announced, locking his phone once again.

Jungkook gasped; his eyes beamed from excitement. This was perfect. He and friends could spend a few hours at the carnival and then hang out with their “niece”.

“So, you’re telling me that you have time for the carnival?”

“I guess I am Kook…”

“Perfect! I’ll let the fellas know!”

“Don’t let me regret this…”

“When I have ever done something that you’d regret?”

“I can name a few things…”

At the Summer Carnival – 7 o’clock in the evening

Walking down the busy row of stands, Sumin’s eyes remained glued on her phone. Her brows furrowed as her thumb scrolled up while she read the contents of an email that she had received minutes before arriving to the carnival. Soft mutters left her lips as she homed in on an incredibly important section of the email. She reread the same two sentences twice before this unsettling, heavy sensation settled within the pit of her stomach.

The color practically drained from her face. Her breath hitched. She halted in her steps, ignoring the grumbles of the many bystanders that were forced to go around her.

A low groan escaped her as she immediately locked her phone and shoved it in her back pocket. Did she really want to be at this stupid carnival? She needed to be back in the office and working on soothing this rather extreme angry client, that was “miraculously” bestowed upon her thanks to her supervisor. Why was she even here again?

“Sumin! Check out this stand, they have those churros that you’re basically obsessed with!” She heard Sowon shout with glee, waving her arms sporadically.

Oh…

That was right…

She was here because of her dearest friend…

“I think I’m going to call it, Sowon. I have to get up pretty early tomorrow, and—”

“No ‘and’. I know that look on your face, my little sunshine, and I’m not completely oblivious. I saw you on your phone and your eyes widened with each passing second.” Sowon interrupted, leaving her spot in the line and walking up to her completely distressed friend, “Which means in the world of Sumin, you’re extremely stressed and about to leave this relaxing sister-date to head back to the office and work on something that can honestly wait until tomorrow morning.” Sowon finished, smiling brightly. “Did I hit it right on the nail, my soft princess?” She added; her smile grew wider.

Sumin made a face; her eyes narrowed on her smug friend.

“I hate it when you do that…”

“I know you do…”

Meanwhile, while one crisis was averted, on the other side of the carnival, two fellas bickered over the last game ticket while their mutual friends watched both sides make excellent arguments on why he deserved the last game ticket. The only thing they missed, to make this verbal battle amusing, was some carnival snacks.

Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his black jacket, a gentleman with black-rimmed glasses and faded silver hair – that was swooped to the right – leaned against the wall; an amused smile painted his lips.

“Are you going to stop them, Namjoon?” asked a young man with chestnut brown hair. His eyes sparkled with such innocence that many people forget that he was indeed in his mid-twenties.

“Nah. They’re fine Jimin. Besides, remember the last time we intervened on an infamous Seokjin-Jungkook argument?” Namjoon replied, shooting Jimin a knowing look. But just as Jimin opened his mouth to answer, someone else beat him to the punch.

“Oh, that was a fun evening!” shouted a cheery voice; a few chuckles escaped him. “They turned their wrath onto us, and even told Yoongi to shut up.” A sigh of content left his lips this time as he folded his hands and rested his head against the palms, “What a memorable evening.”

Namjoon nodded in agreement as he turned his attention towards a paler looking fella.

“I was honestly surprised that Jungkook told you to shut up, Yoongs.”

Yoongi pried one eye open, having checked out of Jungkook’s and Seokjin’s marital bickering thirty minutes prior.

With a lazy voice, he said, “That boy is lucky for not fearing me.”

“After being friends with you for so long, none of us fear you, my dude.” Chimed in the same cheery voice that spoke earlier.

“Hm. I guess I’m losing my charm, Hoseok.” Yoongi shrugged, shutting his eyes closed again. One of the many “joys” of being your own boss. He didn’t have a set work shift.

Hoseok beamed; his smile could light up any dark alleyway, before adverting his attention back to Seokjin and Jungkook, who still refused to back down.

Two hours had passed and not only did the bickering duo slowly ran out of the counterarguments, but their friends were extremely bored and wanted to enjoy what was left of the carnival.

Finally fed up, Namjoon pushed off from the wall and then walked up to Seokjin and Jungkook, pulling out his wallet as he closed the gap between their bodies.

“Tell you what,” He began fishing out a few bills, “Take my money and buy you guys some more damn tickets, so you guys can finally shut the fuck up.” Namjoon stated bluntly before slapping the bills in both Seokjin’s and Jungkook’s hands, knowingly hurting them in the process. He then walked away from them, gesturing for their buddies to follow him.

They were determined to enjoy the carnival before it closed for the night.

As their closest friends walked away, slowly disappearing from their line of sight, the squabbling duo turned to each other; this mischievous gleam sparkled in their eyes accompanied with this scheming smirk.

“That took longer than expected.” Jungkook laughed, flinging an arm around Seokjin’s broad shoulders.

Seokjin chuckled in response as he allowed Jungkook to direct him to the nearest game stand.

“I know, right? We must be losing our touch since before, Namjoon usually settled our “arguments” in less than an hour.” He stated as his eyes scanned the prizes at the booth. His lips pursed while his brows became knitted together as Seokjin contemplated which prize would Areum love the most.

This faint hum exited his lips as his eyes drifted between a huge stuffed alpaca and a huge stuffed panda bear. Then, after much deliberation, he finally settled on the alpaca since she loved to remind him that whenever he ate, he looked like a happy alpaca, especially whenever he munched on a salad. He could honestly hear her faint giggles in the back of his mind.

God, he would do anything for his daughter. She had him wrapped around her dainty pinky finger.

With a determined smile, he slammed down a few dollar bills and waited to be handed some darts.

“Alright, prepare to be amazed, Kook.”

Back with the ladies, who now held onto plates with delicious carnival food, they journeyed towards the exit, talking about everything and anything that came to mind. Ranging from the topic of their love lives – or lack thereof – to the ever so fun work politics that occurred during their daily lives. However, the most popular topic was their time in high school. While, yes, they went to two different schools, they loved hearing about the other’s experience. Hearing such stories made the other feel like she was there as well.

“So, whatever happened to the guy that stupidly stood you up at homecoming, Sowon?”

“Beats me. All I know is that he asked for me at my school’s little reunion event. From what an old friend told me, the way he asked was very creepy. Borderline stalkerish if you ask me.”

Sumin shuddered, “Things like that makes me glad that I didn’t have a social life in high school.”

Sowon chuckled softly as she quickly tossed her empty, Styrofoam plate and jogged back to Sumin.

“Yeah, but it is because of said social life that I know who my loyal friends are and know how to handle myself in certain situations.” She pointed out with a knowing gleam in her eyes.

Sumin rolled her eyes in response, signaling Sowon that she had won that argument.

“Let’s get you home, princess. I believe it is passed your bedtime.”

“What are you? My mom?”

“I might as well be, Min.”

Sowon then flung her arms around Sumin’s shoulders as the two ladies head for Sowon’s car and begin their journey to Sumin’s place.

Faint muffles filled the spacious car as flashes of light illuminated the darkness every other minute. Resting her chin on the palm of her hand, Sumin stared absentmindedly out the window; her eyes focused on the happy couples. Each face painted with the brightest and most loving smile ever to grace them.

Soon, a soft sigh escaped her as she pried her eyes away from the window. Though, while she no longer saw them, her mind was filled with thoughts of them. Thoughts of envy? Longing? That had been yet to be determined.

Which was strange to her as for the obvious fact that she too was in a relationship.

But…

“I just now realized that you are not wearing your luxurious engagement ring that Seonghwa gave you, Min.” Sowon’s voice broke into her cloudy thoughts.

Sumin’s eyes trailed down, landing on her empty left ring finger.

“I knew I forgot something.” She lied, faking a playful smile.

But Sowon knew better.

“Is everything alright?” She asked as she slowed the car to stop as the traffic light went from yellow to red.

Sounds of the turn signal cut through the awkward silence. Sumin hoped that the light would turn green so that she’d be closer to home but alas, it wasn’t the case. This was a timed light, and the timing of it was abnormally long for a traffic light.

She could stall, but that would only annoy Sowon, so why should Sumin even try? Her closest and dearest friend wasn’t stupid. If anything, she wouldn’t be surprised if Sowon knew that she was thinking of backing out of the wedding.

“Do I want to get married, Sowon?” asked Sumin, phrasing her question a bit oddly.

Sowon raised a brow as she shifted her foot from the brake pedal to the gas pedal, lightly pressing as she turned on to the street where Sumin’s house resided at. A house where she lived with her doting fiancé.

The poor girl looked unsure how to answer such a question. If it was a question that asked her if she wanted to get married, then the answer would be plain and simple. No. No she didn’t want to get married or at least, not right now. She so much desired to live her twenties to the fullest. Then, once it was time, she would gladly settle down with the right person.

And yet with Sumin? Sowon was quite surprised that she was having doubts. Out of the two them, Sumin would be happily married first with kiddos running amuck and then Aunty Sowon would help wrangle them and/or create more chaos for their parents.

But with this sudden 180, Sowon grew even more confused.

Did she have to kill Seonghwa? Because she totally would. No one was allowed to hurt Sumin under her watch.

No one.

Pursing her lips, Sowon hummed in response, as she pulled up to Sumin’s driveway, where both Sumin’s and her fiancé’s car were currently parked.

Before finally answering, Sowon killed the engine, and the two girls now sat in complete and utter silence.

“Alright, to answer your question, I know that you want to get married, however, is it to Seonghwa? Only you can answer that, love. But you did say yes to him for a reason, so that has to mean something, right?”

Sumin sighed heavily; her shoulders slumped just a bit.

“I did, I mean don’t get me wrong, I do love him with all my heart but—”

“But you don't know if it’s enough to meet him at the altar, correct?”

Instead of answering, Sumin gave Sowon a thumb’s up before exiting the vehicle and as she stepped out, a car pulled up to her neighbor’s driveway. A neighbor who she had never seen since their schedules always had them missing one another by a split second, so this was a first. Well, overall, this night was filled with firsts, so this wasn’t too much of a shock factor.

Seconds later, Sowon too exited the vehicle, shutting the door and alarming it. She then leaned against the door; curiosity slowly bested her as she noticed Sumin’s body language tense just a smidge.

“You alright there, sunshine?!” She hollered, cupping her mouth, though, she didn’t have to do that since they were not that far away from each other.

However, she received no response from Sumin for a good minute or two.

Until…

“YOU!!”

Two voices shouted simultaneously.

Alarmed, Sumin’s fiancé came running out of the house dawning his work clothes still.

“Are you okay, honey?” he asked, closing the gap between their bodies, as he gently rested his hand on her lower back.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Seonghwa. I just got startled by a familiar face is all.” She lied flawlessly, smiling sweetly.

Seonghwa hummed in response, not fully believing her, but he knew it was best to drop it.

“Okay. I’m gonna head back inside and finish up this project. Holler if you need me, okay, love?” He said, pressing a sweet kiss on her temple before disappearing inside the house.

The second she heard the door shut, Sumin’s sweet demeanor melted away and was soon replaced with the fiery rage that engulfed her body and soul moments prior.

“Wow. I’m amazed. You actually tricked someone into dating your strange self,” The intruder began applauding slowly with a sarcastic smile etched on his face, “I’m completely inspired by your story now.” He added, further taunting poor Sumin.

Sowon raised her brow, slowly going into defensive mode but held back as she wanted to see more of their reactions. In her life of knowing Sumin, Sowon only ever saw her little sunshine become this spitfire with her only. So, who the Hell was this handsome gentleman that easily riled her soft princess up?

She had to find out.

And maybe…just maybe…he might be the answer to Sumin’s tricky question.

A low – almost animalistic – growl escaped Sumin’s lips as she stomped over to her neighbor; their chests practically touched each other.

“Listen here, Seokjin—”

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that? You might have to speak up, short stuff.” Seokjin cupped his ear as he leaned downwards; their noses merely inches away from bumping into each other.

Sumin’s jaw clenched and through gritted teeth, she said, well shouted,

“Can you hear me now, huh, you prick?!”

Seokjin groaned, jolting his body away, as he rubbed his poor ear while this ringing sensation echoed throughout his now muddled mind.

Damn that woman had a pair of lungs on her.

“I think you busted my eardrum…!”

“Well, that’s what you get for standing so incredibly close to me, dumbass!”

Tensions arose between the two as their blood slowly came to a boil. Seokjin and Sumin had history. A rather long history that remained in the archives until this evening.

Again, a night filled with firsts.

Just as Seokjin opened his mouth to retaliate, a laughter cut him off. He was secretly glad that someone else intervened. He honestly didn’t have to time to entertain the spitfire that stood courageously in front of him. His daughter was to arrive at any moment.

The last thing he wanted his six-year-old to see was him shouting at a woman.

“You know, we got to work on you playing nice with others, Sumin.” Chimed in Sowon as she walked up to the pair and rested an arm on Sumin’s shoulder.

“And may I ask who you are?” Seokjin questioned, looking a bit unimpressed.

Sowon held out her hand and quickly introduced herself, shaking Seokjin’s hand with her signature thousand-watt smile.

“Ah, and how do you know the pain in the ass?”

“I can ask you the same thing, Jinnie boy.”

“Jinnie boy?” He questioned, directing it more towards Sumin.

Sumin simply shrugged, “Just go with it.”

“Well, I’ve known her since middle school believe it or not.”

Sowon raised her brow; her eyes roamed all over his body as if she tried to decipher his hidden secrets.

“Interesting. Well, as much as I’d like to continue this conversation, I don’t,” She then turned Sumin around, “Time for bed, Min.” She stated firmly before guiding them both back to Sumin’s house, leaving behind a flabbergasted Seokjin.

“You know…I have a feeling that you two would make the perfect couple someday…” teased the taller woman as they crossed the threshold between Sumin’s house and Seokjin’s house.

Sumin grimaced, nearly wanting to gag, “By perfect, you mean that I’d want to kill him every waking moment I can get, right?”

“Nah, my precious little ray of sunshine. I mean that one day, you two will make gorgeous looking children to the point that I’m going to “borrow” one of them to pick up guys.” Sowon clarified, grinning from ear to ear.

A look of utter and complete disbelieve washed over her face as she felt her eye twitch just a smidge from her best friend’s remark.

God help her…

“You should learn to smile more often, princess! You might land more dates that way!”

“That’s it! Listen here you annoying fucking gnat!”

However, before Sumin could storm over to Seokjin again, Sowon blocked her path.

“Alright, young lady, someone’s getting cranky. You march to your room and tell Seonghwa that you want to cuddle.”

“But!”

“March!”

Sumin frowned before submitting to her friend, of course, muttering a few profanities as she stomped up the stairs that led to the front door.

Once Sumin was inside, Sowon waited a few seconds before walking up to Seokjin, who appeared to be texting someone.

“So, how do you truly feel about Sumin?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

Seokjin’s face remained blank, “I tolerate her existence. Why?”

“I asked how you truly feel about her, not lie about it.” Sowon stated, shooting him a knowing look.

Seokjin, on the other hand, grew unsure. What did she mean, exactly?

“Sleep on it.” Sowon suggested before walking to her car and finally head home for herself.

Seokjin watched the strange woman drive out of his neighborhood. Her words repeated in his mind. He was almost certain that he just tolerated Sumin’s existence. Sure, there had been a time in his life that he harbored romantic feelings for her, but he had been long married since then. Well, now divorced, but that was beside the point.

It was through that marriage that he had Areum. The light of his life.

Yeah, he didn’t need any other leading lady in his life.

Right?

Before he could fully dive into those thoughts, a bright light nearly blinded him followed by this obnoxious honking.

“Dad!” shouted a voice. A voice Seokjin knew all too well. The same voice that easily brought a smile to his face.

“Areum!” He greeted back; his face practically beamed. He happily waved as the car came to a stop and this little girl came running out of the backseat and towards him.

Seokjin knelt down, ready for the biggest hug ever. And just as she slammed into him, he protectively wrapped his arms around her petite body as the two fell onto the grass.

“Remember to behave for your dad, Areum!” chuckled an older woman, shaking her head as she walked up to the loving duo with a tiny suitcase.

“I will mommy.” Areum smiled as she became smothered with Seokjin’s fatherly kisses.

“Yeah, don’t worry Eunji, our little girl is an angel.”

“Whatever you say, Seokjin. By the way, did you know that our old friend Sumin lived right next door to you?”

Seokjin instantly became alarmed. How did his ex-wife know that? So, naturally, he asked.

Eunji laughed softly, “Just because you had a falling out with her, doesn’t mean that I did, so I saw it on her social media account that she moved to that house.”

“And you didn’t tell me this while I was looking for a place to live because?”

“Because I love seeing you make a fool of yourself in front of her.”

But before Seokjin could say something, refuting his ex-wife’s claims, Eunji had entered her car and clicked on her seatbelt. Then, he saw the reverse lights turn on and watched her pull out of his driveway.

She was always an interesting woman…

“Why is your mom weird?”

“I don’t know, probably for the same reason as to why she called you coward on our way here, daddy?”

“She what, now?”

A/N: I am back! Cue the fanfare and confetti canon! I’m honestly both surprised and proud of myself for not only picking up writing again but starting another series (low key crying because Our Second Chance isn’t done yet, but I am working on it LOL)! At first, I wanted to take the word carnival and incorporate the movie Sandlot and A League of Their Own into it, but sadly, I hit a bad writers’ block, so I just scrapped that idea completely and with the help of @softjeon who helped me with some overall story ideas, this came to be! Plus, it helps that in BTS World, Seokjin’s another story line is so cute, especially with the little girl (who of course makes an appearance as his daughter in this short series <3) being kind of hard to please. Yes, make Jinnie work for it!

But anyway, as of right now, I don’t have a set schedule for this as I like to write whenever I have both the time and inspiration but knowing me, I’ll start releasing updates over the course of Autumn/Winter along with the last chapters of Our Second Chance!

Don’t forget to leave a like/reblog/comment/ask in my inbox! I love hearing your thoughts! :)

- Kim

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nadziejastar · 5 years

Text

KH3′s Mishandling of the Nobodies

“No. Not yours. These belong to people connected to you.”

“What? Isn’t it weird for somebody else’s memories to be inside me?” Shouldn’t I only have the memories of things I experienced myself?

“Right, it’s not usually possible. When I first found them while repairing your memory, I thought I’d made a mistake. But all the evidence I found proved they belong in your heart, where they’ve been sleeping a long…long time. One day, Sora will have to call them to the surface. They’re important memories…but very dangerous ones.”

From my observations, Nomura spent a LOT of time coming up with a way to deal with the “clone” characters, to give them a fitting resolution. And all of it was wasted in KH3. Roxas, Xion, and Naminé were unusual entities. They weren’t like the normal human characters and shouldn’t have been treated like they were. They were born with no memories other than those of Sora and Kairi. They had no human bodies of their own. Handling them was tricky. They didn’t have a true home or somewhere they belonged. And honestly they felt that way in the story as well. KH3 did nothing to fix that.

Though he’s a member of Organization XIII, Axel is shown in the end of KH Re:coded in the memories of “pain”…

Since healing the necessary “pain” of Axel’s is different than with other people, if he is revived he will take a form like Xehanort’s. In the end of the story, Namine says, “Those whose memories are sleeping inside Sora need relief.” In the KH BbS secret cutscene “Blank Points”, certain characters call out to Sora, however in that scene Axel is the only one who appears and doesn’t say Sora’s name out loud.

Based on what Nomua said, the only Nobodies who were supposed to come back in a physical form were Xehanort (and Terra, by extension) and Lea.

“But, Riku, I…” Xion looked down at her hands and sank into thought.

Right… Either way, I’ll still be going “home.” So maybe what Riku is trying to say is that I should go back to the Organization first. Being away—it’s affecting Roxas and Sora, too. Why am I so afraid to go back? I’m not scared of Saïx or Xemnas. I… I’m scared of facing Roxas. But I know I can’t keep hiding like this. I have to go back.

To the place where I belong.

358/2 Days NEVER made it ambiguous. Xion belonged with Sora. Nomura tried to drill this into our minds countless times. Literally over and over and over and over again. She went back to him and was “home”. I don't know how so many people came away with the impression that she was supposed to come back.

“You won’t need a home anymore where you’re going!”

“What?!”

Master Xehanort turned away with a chuckle, and when Terra made to go after him, the Master disappeared into a corridor of darkness that opened up ahead.

The gusting wind intensified, and the buildings linked by chains lifted upward, unable to resist the force swallowing up the world. Lightning streaked through the heavens as the Land of Departure was destroyed. The only structures that survived, if only barely, were those with chains attached.

Compare Xion to Terra, whose heart was explicitly said to NOT be where it belonged.

Terra stood within a darkness so thick not a single ray of light broke through.

Oddly enough, he wasn’t nervous. If he knew one thing for certain, it was that this was where he belonged.

“Darkness rules your heart—it gives me control. Muscle and sinew that once obeyed you now rebels against you. How you can remain here at all confounds the mind.”

Terra felt like he belonged in the darkness, but that wasn’t true. He needed to be rescued and brought back to the Realm of Light. That’s where he really belonged.

“I will tell you what your friend needs right now. It is not your protection. He needs you to believe. You see, Ventus’s heart hangs in the balance. It sleeps in the place between light and darkness. From all I can perceive, that means he will be looking for a friend—one who believes in him, to show him the way home.”

Yen Sid moved away from the others and took his customary seat.

“Just as long as you love him…then Ventus will be able to find you when he wakes. He can follow that love back to where he belongs—the realm of light.”

Unlike Roxas, Ventus was also specifically stated to NOT be where he belonged. This was the story’s way of preparing the players for the eventual fate of these “clone” characters. It was foreshadowed well in advance. They were NOT meant to come back. KH3 brought them back for fanservice. They were shoehorned in where they didn’t belong, and they had a detrimental effect on the story.

Roxas: Does that mean it's time for me to go back to where I belong?

Axel: You know, I've been thinking about something Naminé said. Roxas...are you really sure that you don't have a heart? Is it possible that we all have one? You, me, her... Or is that just wishful thinking?

Roxas: I don't know. I can't...just look inside.

Axel: Y-yeah, I guess not...

Roxas: But I figure...if there is something in there--inside us--then we'd feel it, wouldn't we?

Roxas, the Nobody born of the fusion of Sora and Ventus returned to where he belonged. He went back to Sora. The memories that he gained were supposed to be returned to their rightful owner, which was Ventus. Nomura said that Roxas was born with Ventus’s heart, which is why he could cry and why he always sounded “human” to Axel. Roxas himself was still a part of Sora, though. So he had to return to his rightful place.

“My role was to see if you were ready to take ownership of the hurt inside you. And now that role is done. Nothing left for me to do but…go away.”

“Go home?” Sora didn’t know what he meant by go “away.” Even if he was an illusion, going away sounded kinda…awful.

“I don’t know if I have one, but…there’s a place I’d like to be.” For the first time, the man’s tone softened.

“Where?” Sora asked. Instead of answering, the man in the black coat approached—and merged with him.

“Huh?” Sora was shocked as the man disappeared into him. But at that moment, when they became one, he felt a wave of nostalgia. It was most likely his memory—the recollection of the stranger in black. He saw a place he had wanted to call home—a place he had once called home. The home he’d lost.

A town at twilight; his first and last… …summer vacation.

There was an enormous amount of effort spent preparing a proper conclusion for Roxas. Ventus, however, was not just Sora’s Nobody like Roxas was. He had somewhere to return. He had two best friends, just like Sora did. He’d still be able to rekindle his friendships with Hayner, Pence, Olette, Kairi, and Lea. But he had his own home, too.

I don’t even know the boy’s name. He must be a Nobody that was just born today, in this town. I know that this town, the one they call Twilight Town, is a special place. It’s a town of twilight, standing in the rift between darkness and light.

The darkness of dusk blurs the figure, in the same way light does. Here, those that belong to neither darkness nor light—even Nobodies are allowed to exist.

And so, Axel hung about in this town when he had free time.

Unlike Roxas, Axel never considered Twilight Town his home. He never lived a normal happy life there, like Roxas did during his summer vacation. He hardly ever interacted with the people in Twilight Town, other than to buy ice cream.

“Anyway, let’s go home.”

Well, I doubt whether that gloomy castle is any place for Roxas, who has just begun his existence, to go home to, but even so, there’s nothing else to do.

The World that Never Was was certainly not his home. But even in Twilight Town, Axel simply watched life from afar, on the clock tower where nobody could see him. His lifestyle was more like Quasimodo’s before he finally left the bell tower. He wasn’t truly happy in Twilight Town.

“Riku told me that if I came back to Twilight Town…I’d find out where I belong,” she said, staring at the ground.

“Because… Riku told me that if I returned to Twilight Town, I’d find out where I should go,” Xion answered, looking down.

Twilight Town is a special town. Close to the In-between of the realms, it’s a true town of twilight. And, generally people don’t exist there.

The reason the three of us were always in Twilight Town was because it felt comfortable. Home is where the heart is, and all that. Close to the darkness and far from the light. That kind of place.

Even on the day called “Place to Belong”, Axel thought Twilight Town was comfortable because it was closer to darkness than light. Home is where the heart is, and Axel thought his heart was closer to darkness. His real home, Radiant Garden, was the city of light. Lea belonged in the Realm of Light.

They were on a quiet beach not too far from Twilight Town.

“Do you two even have anywhere to go?” Axel wondered from his perch on one of the boulders that dotted the shore.

“Do you?” Riku replied, staring out at the horizon.

“I never had anywhere to go in the first place. We Nobodies don’t belong, period. Nowhere to go and nowhere to come home to. Right, Naminé?”

She didn’t answer, but only looked down at the sand.

He’s right. We Nobodies don’t know why we were born or where we should go.

Axel didn’t feel like he had a place to go in KH2. That’s why he started chasing after Roxas. It wasn’t that Roxas was really the person he wanted to see the most. Roxas wasn’t really the person Axel was meant to return to or go home with.

That moon was itself a heart. The thing he could never obtain. In the end, he hadn’t found a place he should return to. That was why he’d come back to this city—this city where the skyscrapers glittered.

I should have been trying to run from Saïx—or rather, from the Organization—so what am I doing in this city? It brought home the fact that Nobodies had nowhere to return.

“—What am I gonna do…” muttered Axel, gazing up at the moon.

A heart. Maybe the answer was closer than he thought.

Suddenly he felt something brush his leg. “Wh—whoa!” Axel jumped. It was a big yellow dog.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” Waving its tail furiously, the dog looked up at Axel.

“You alone?” As though answering Axel’s words, the dog gave a single little bark.

Even while he was trying to see Roxas, Axel still said he had nowhere to belong. Then he ran into Pluto, a stray puppy. It’s quite symbolic that Pluto followed Axel around for so much of KH2. Axel was a stray puppy who had no home. Axel even ran into Goofy and Mickey in Hollow Bastion and they said he still smelled like Pluto. He couldn’t shake off the scent. Pluto was drawn to Axel because he had wandered off and was all alone.

“And through there is Destiny Islands, I suppose—and Axel, too. Well, well.” Saïx raised one hand, and a sudden swarm of Nobodies began to wriggle toward the brightness.

“I don’t think so!” Riku planted himself squarely in their path.

“What’s the matter? Will it hurt to see your island home corrupted?” Saïx taunted. “Even though you once did it yourself?”

A small gasp escaped from Riku.

He thought he would never be able to go home again. He wouldn’t let anyone spoil that home now.

“Pluto! Go on!” Riku called, and Pluto replied with a deep bark before leaping into the light.

“Exactly what do you think that dog’s going to do about it?” Saïx inquired.

“I don’t owe you any answers,” Riku spat, and dealt Saïx a blow from Soul Eater that sent him sprawling.

Even Saïx was angry that Riku still had a home to return to, but he didn’t.

“Riku… Do you think Nobodies have a home? Somewhere we belong?” Naminé wondered.

“There’s no time to talk right now. When the organization attacks, I don’t know if I can fight them off and protect you at the same time.” He summoned Soul Eater to his hand.

“This is the only time we have to talk,” she argued. “Do you think Nobodies really don’t have hearts? Who told Axel he doesn’t have one? The heart—there are secrets that—”

“Naminé!” Riku had to interrupt. Nobodies were crawling out of the corners, and one sprang straight at her.

Naminé constantly agonized over this issue. But she still really wanted to meet Kairi. She felt that was where she belonged.

What’s Axel going to do now? Axel… A Nobody full of sorrow. But every Nobody ever born is full of sorrow. All of us. Roxas, and Axel, and even Xemnas.

Why were we born at all? We have no hearts. And in the end, we never could gain them. Really? Is it really true that we have no hearts? I think Axel must have been wondering the same thing.

But there is something like a heart inside us… Or maybe it’s nothing more than an illusory feeling that awakened when we met Sora. And yet… Even if it feels like we have hearts, a Nobody’s real heart is somewhere else. Somewhere far away.Are we just trying to go back there?

She also worried about Axel a lot, since he was the most anguished over not having a heart or somewhere he belonged. She started traveling with him specifically because she could tell how lonely he was.

The Nobodies should vanish. They should go back where they came from. Where we came from… if that is by Roxas’s, by Sora’s side, I’d be happy.

Axel opened both arms wide and looked up. He spread his arms wide and turned his face upward.

The last of your strength… Give it to me. Share with me the strength for the end…Roxas.

Axel knew that the end was near and he was terrified of disappearing alone. He said that Roxas was his best friend and that he wanted nothing more than to see him on the other side.

“I wonder if Roxas really managed to find his way back into Sora…”

She turned to Pluto beside her, staring up at her with what could only be worry.

When a Nobody meets their somebody…that Nobody will disappear. But not really—they just go back to the place they belong.

Axel must have returned somewhere when he disappeared. I hope…I hope Roxas is there, too.

But it was an impossible wish. Pluto whined anxiously at her.

“It’s okay. I’m not afraid.” She knelt down and hugged Pluto tight.

I think…there’s still something I have to do.

Then Naminé walked away.

But Roxas was not waiting for Axel to come home. And Axel was not the person Roxas wanted to see the most. Roxas was not meant to be the person Axel would return to. He was not the person he would consider “home”.

“I always thought…that Nobodies were doomed to fade back into darkness,” Naminé murmured as her gaze dropped.

“But you and I didn’t,” said Roxas. “We got to meet our original selves. Maybe that’s why.”

Then she looked up and nodded brightly. “So, we can be together again.”

“Right. Anytime Sora and Kairi are together.” Roxas stood close to Naminé as if he wanted to cling to her for an instant.

We won’t disappear. And we’ll be able to meet again. But…the Nobodies who did disappear—no. We’ll be able to see Axel again, won’t we?

I want to believe that Axel returned somewhere. I won’t give up that hope. Just like Sora and Kairi never gave up.

Naminé returned to Kairi when she disappeared. It was where she belonged. She got to see Roxas again and she was happy. Axel returned somewhere when he disappeared, too. And it was his true home, the place where he belonged. It was not Twilight Town, and Roxas and Xion were not there waiting for him.

“Don’t tell Roxas all the extra details. His chain of memories is in a broken state; don’t say anything that would stimulate him. Now, return with him.” Saïx spoke with his back turned, as always. “Time is short. Do you understand.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Axel answered, sounding hassled, and pulled his hood right up.

Then he declared quietly to himself, “I’ll bring him back with me, even if I have to drag him.”

There was only one time Lea ever referred to his "home". It was when he told Saïx he was dragging him back there. He wasn’t just dragging him "back". He was dragging him home.

“So you don’t remember a~nything? I see–it wouldn’t have been too much for the Dusks, then.”

If he’s this gone, there’s nothing to do but bring him back, even if I have to drag him.

Isa was the person Lea was really supposed to return home to. Home is where the heart is. That’s who his heart was truly at home with.

Escape and the like—how stupid. Now that Xion is gone, if we lose Roxas we will be in a fix. I’ve already received orders from Xemnas in regard to this. It is necessary to prevent Roxas’ escape.

“Saïx.” A voice called out to stop Saïx, on his way to the entrance to the castle.

I’d anticipated that this might happen. “I don’t actually have a moment. Is this urgent business, Axel?”

“I just want a little time,” Axel said, sounding lost.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll bring him back to our side. Let me—”

“That’s enough.” Saïx turned his head, giving Axel a sidelong look over his shoulder. “Traitor.” Axel scowled darkly.

“I’m going. You know, don’t you, that you won’t stop me except by force? And even if you tried, you would fail.” Saïx went on his way.

It’s my memories that are telling me this sort of thing is unpleasant.

That’s exactly why Isa was created. Axel had very few friends. Roxas, Xion, and Naminé returned to where they belonged. They weren’t planned to return. They were born from someone else’s heart. Lea wasn’t. Nomura knew he was the odd one out. He was good friends with Ventus, but he was going home with Terra and Aqua at the end. He was also good friends with Kairi, but she was going back to Destiny Islands with Sora and Riku at the end.

“I’ve decided! No matter how many times you guys run away I’ll bring you back, no matter how many times it takes!” he wished—he shouted, he wailed, he vowed.

I’ll bring them back no matter how many times it takes. No matter how many times. For my own sake, for your sakes. No matter how strong Xion tries to make her power, I don’t think I’ll lose. Because, I’m strong.

After all the dust had settled, Lea needed someone he truly belonged with. The place Lea needed to return was NOT the top of the clock tower in Twilight Town. And Roxas and Xion were not the right characters for him to return home to. How would he spend day-to-day life with them? Axel never wanted to be a babysitter. I highly doubt he wanted to be a full-time nanny, either. That was not a happy ending for him. Neither is Mystery Girl X, who he wasn't sure even existed.

“So you’ve finally come home.”

Axel turned to face the owner of the voice.

There’s only one person who’d say something like that to me—only Saïx.

All the characters got to return to their real homes during the epilogue. Even though The Land of Departure was in ruins, the wayfinder trio still returned there, since that was their home. Lea and Isa were the ONLY two characters who didn’t get to go home, even though Radiant Garden was being rebuilt. And Axel was the character who wanted to go home the most. His whole character arc was about having nowhere to belong. No home to return to. No place to go. Nobody waiting to see him. And in KH3, nothing changed. I think the handling of him in KH3 was downright insulting to his character.

#kh3 #anti-kh3 #kh 358/2 days #kh meta #kingdom hearts #kh roxas #kh xion #kh namine #kh axel #kh terra #kh ventus #kingdom hearts 3

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