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ryliesundertalerphubblog · 2 years

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Breaking the Vow of Silence.

Hi. It’s been a long time.

I’m reposting this story here from my personal blog as it’s more relevant to the Undertale fandom, and I feel that it really should be said here.

So last night I discovered a very old chat with someone I had an extremely bad falling out with in the Undertale fandom. After reading the final messages sent to me by that person, followed by what they did to me after the friendship had ended, I feel the need to no longer keep the vow of public silence I was.... idk if saying manipulated or forced is the right word (though it sure feels like I was manipulated, back-reading with retrospect), but I was asked to keep the falling out of our friendship private and not make it public, for this person feared that if I made it public, I would end up cutting them off from their little friend group and chase them out of the fandom.

Though I will not be outing this person's nickname at the time, because this isn’t a call out. This isn't a warning to "stay away from this user" or whatever. This is just... me finally breaking that "public silence" Vow, solely for myself, to give myself as much closure as I can get.

So yeah. Here goes a random rant about probably the second worst experience I've had in my fandom experience. I will be reblogging this version to all relevant blogs. Sorry if that causes spam for anyone who might still be following these blogs for... whatever reason, but. This is a story I’ve kept inside and out of the public eye for so long that I just... sort of feel the need to.

So for the sake of this post, I will be calling the ex friend in question “Maple.

Maple and I first met in what I call the "first phase" of the Undertale fandom, and I thought we hit it off pretty well. We rped a lot, talked a lot, ectect. And we eventually had more intimate/personal discussions about our respective traumas and abuses. I loved them as my friend, and I wanted to support them in any way I could.

An incident occurred where another Sans RPer was venting to me in DMs about how a thread with a certain Chara made them uncomfortable, or that just rping with them in general was uncomfortable, I don't exactly remember. So I told them point blank to tell the Chara mun the truth and to not string them along. They did. And I think that what happened next was the Chara mun was venting to me about this, and I told them that I encouraged the mun to be honest with them. They took it to mean "I told this mun not to RP with you" and gathered a bunch of their friends to block me for it. At the time, my brain didn't math well, so I don't think I put the two incidents together. To me, it felt like I was blocked by a bunch of my rp buddies out of nowhere. So I reacted pretty poorly.

This incident, apparently, was the inciting factor in Maple's discomfort with me. A discomfort they never addressed or spoke about with me.

Oblivious to their discomfort, I continued to interact with them as normal. But their behavior started changing towards me, and I started getting weird criticisms on my blog from an anon I'm going to refer to as DOAnon, and I'll explain why in a bit. Because of my actual worst experience in fandom happening prior to Undertale, I track my rp blogs (to this day I do) so if/when I get anon hate, it can give me the information I need to go to the police if it got as bad as it did in the fandom before Undertale. So I was tracking the movements of DOAnon and my friend whom I cared for dearly was acting strange. Eventually Maple started to vent in wingdings in a server we both occupied, venting in a way that made me think they were scared of someone, that they were afraid they were going to be hurt by this person. Note, this was YEARS ago, and I had to hand translate the wingdings text to normal text just to read it. But because Maple was my friend, I pushed through to try to help them. When their vent started making me think they were being harassed, I confronted them privately about it out of concern.

Needless to say, when they finally told me the vents were about me, I was upset.

However, because they were my friend, because I cared so much about them, I wanted to talk things out. Get to the bottom of the issue and resolve it. But Maple made it very, very clear that they didn't want to talk about it. They just wanted me out of their life, "for their own comfort," because they refused to have a discussion with me about the problem, let alone a solution.

So, deeply hurt, I reacted... well, better than I remembered reacting, actually. I was definitely upset, but my final words to them on discord weren't as vicious or biting as I remembered them to be. I basically told them "You really don't want to talk about this??? Fine. Goodbye." And blocked them on everything I could think of. If they wanted me gone, I was going to stay gone.

But that wasn't the end of it.

Note I want to stress that from my perspective, Maple's discomfort and upset with me came out of nowhere. They never talked to me about it. For about a month or even more, they pretended like nothing was wrong. Hell, they vented about me to my face and it still didn't fully click they were upset at me until they said it right to my face. I had on rose colored glasses and was very, very dense.

So yeah. After your trust in someone you cared for so much was very suddenly broken like that, I did not react very well. I was emotional and impulsive and paranoid. I made a post on my RP blog saying I no longer felt safe or comfortable and that I was going on an indefinite hiatus. Apparently, Maple didn't like that, even if I wasn't talking about the details of our now-ended friendship publicly like they had asked me not to.

So Maple found the only blog I forgot to block them on and messaged me on tumblr. Now, I couldn't tell you what was said in those DMs. I was so emotionally distraught and hurt that I probably reacted a lot harsher and with a lot of venom. After all, I did what they wanted--I got out of their life, blocked them and didn't even imply that my feelings in my post were from a falling out with a friend. And they were block-evading me despite this, so I do think it was much more of an argument than the discussion on Discord. I blocked them on their account, ready to just ride the waves of my hurt until I numbed over and moved on. I told a few close friends about what happened (still then trying not to say Maple's name but some figured it out anyway, not sure if I said anything or if Maple's vague vents about me on THEIR blog tipped them off, but I'll get to those in a bit regardless) and that was as far as it should have gone.

I made a new rule about how I wasn't comfortable following people who interacted with "people I've had issues with in the past" (yes, still keeping it vague for their sake) and that I'm more than fine with rping with people regardless if they interact with them or not, I just won't follow for my own comfort, and I asked that if anyone figured out who I was talking about, to not contact me about them/not to discuss them with me. I do believe I made a general hurt vent post after that as well, on a blog barely anyone followed, but again, I still kept my friendship break-up a secret from the general public. Like I promised.

Again, apparently this was too much for them, and one of their friends messaged me on tumblr on their behalf.

I don't remember this conversation much either. Just that, I was angry, and they were being stupidly vague to me about Maple being the person they were talking about. After a fight with the friend, I blocked the friend. I then added a rule to my RP blogs to not to be a fucking asshole and use vague language to talk to me about a person you know I have a problem with.

I don't really remember much after that, but remember how I mentioned I was getting weird anons? Well, that's where this story takes a turn for the worse.

DOAnon started to get more aggressive with their asks they sent to me. I don't remember most of them, because there was just, so many passive aggressive/hate anons that I just tuned it out after a while. However, I was keeping track of them. The reason they were nicknamed DOAnon was because the tracker stated that their provider was DigitalOcean, which among other things, is a service that provides a VPN. After realizing this, and when the anon started saying things like "You chased someone out of the fandom" or used my more personal Insecurities in their attack on me, I was about 70% sure it was Maple, or a friend sent on Maple's behalf. They were hurtful and annoying, but there was a part of me that just, didn't want to believe it was Maple sending them. I wanted to have faith in that friendship, despite how it ended. I kept giving them excuses. I really tried to believe in them. There’s an inkling of me that still wants to.

I figured DOAnon would get bored and move on eventually, but they never did. They stalked me onto new rp blogs, personal blogs, and sent in annoying and hurtful stuff. They even claimed I stole an idea for a character design from Maple (not directly referencing them, of course, just calling me a thief), which bumped my suspicion from 70% to 80% that it was Maple or a friend of theirs. (To clarify I have, absolutely no idea what aspect Maple thought I was stealing, most of the design elements for the character I’m pretty sure they were accusing me of building with “stolen” assets were ideas given to me by Celest, but I digress) They were persistent, and they were annoying.

Eventually, they screwed up. They went onto a device that wasn't using the DigitalOcean VPN, and the tracker showed me that the anon was coming from Maple's state of residence. That's when I knew it was them. Even when I wanted to deny it, I knew deep down, Maple had to have been the one harassing me for... god, it was probably months after I tried to move on from this. And, god, even if I try to sound so firm here, I still want to believe it wasn’t them.

Around this time, I was made aware of the fact that Maple had been vagueposting/venting about me on their blog, a hell of a lot more than I was about them. Funny, rules for the and not for me, but I digress--I don't think they stated my name or anything, but my friends could tell immediately that Maple was talking about me. They had a goodbye post that made me out to gave chased them out of the fandom, and their description was as equally hateful towards me. (They then apparently deleted the blog and someone else took it, so if you’ve figured out who Maple is, don’t bother looking for it.)

It hurt, but the pain wasn't as bad due to how long it had been. I knew I didn't "chase them out" like they claimed--their own god damn paranoia did.

Finally, DOAnon--or, let's just call out who it was, Maple--finally took things way too far. Harassing me for months, Maple eventually sent me a link on anon to a gif image of a woman burning to death in her car.

This was the last straw. I made a public post, STILL keeping their identity a secret for, some godforsaken reason, (Oh hey look the post is still up, linky link for you guys) under the advice of law enforcement--to essentially tell them to stop stalking and harassing me, or I WILL call the police again and get them arrested. They finally stopped actively harassing me after that.

They stalked my blog after that, sure, and I made posts noting that so they would be scared off even further, but I didn't get any more anons. Finally, after being scared enough, they stopped stalking me all together.

To this day, I'm still confused about everything. Bitter too. And I want to reiterate, to stress, that this is not a call out post. This isn't aimed at them to get cancelled. This was years ago and if you know who this is about and/or figure it out... please, don’t bother. This isn’t an “Us VS Them” thing. I just needed to get this off of my chest.

I know I reacted poorly to the situation at the time and I was no innocent party. I may not have sent them anons or stalked them, but I also don't think I was entirely the victim either. Then again, maybe that's the part of me that I need to kill off--the part that keeps trying to excuse the shit Maple did to me all those years ago. There’s still a part of me that wants to apologize, and I don’t know what even for. I just want to say “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” without anything coming to my mind to even apologize for.

Again, I'm just... recounting the experience here publicly as a form of closure. As a form of letting go. I want to heal from this experience, as I never properly did. I want to trust in people, my loved ones, again. And I think by making this post, by breaking that promise of silence, I'm acknowledging that Maple was not and shouldn't have ever been considered one of those people. They might have been fine during our friendship, but the end and aftermath of it proved to me that my love in them was misplaced. Maybe I am a pure innocent victim who just reacted piss poorly to it all, or maybe I wasn't. I cannot tell you because I cannot trust my own judgement anymore. I don’t want to take credit for shit I didn’t do, but I also do want to own up to any mistakes I genuinely did make.

Sorry for the sour story all of a sudden, and seemingly unprompted. But after being reminded of my promise, how I did my best to uphold it, and how I was treated regardless--I just. Needed to break the promise.

I needed to stop respecting the wishes of someone who ended up wanting nothing more than to hurt me. That's all this is.

I... don’t even know why I want to add this, but if for god forsaken reason you find this, “Maple...” Despite what you did to me, I hope you’re well. Where ever you are. If you find yourself coming to these old blogs seeking to reignite your anger towards me, I beg of you to stop. It’s gone. It’s done. There’s nothing left for you here. I’m gone. You’re gone. We’re gone. I’ve stated several times that this is not a call out for you and I really, genuinely mean that. The promise you made me keep for all this time, though? It wasn’t fair to me, after what happened to me because of what happened with us. Remaining silent was only hurting me. I’m sure this will only make you defensive or angry, and I’m sorry. Maybe this is what I wanted to apologize for--for breaking the promise I made to you all those years ago with this post. At the idea that you might one day find this post and it spikes your paranoia or anxiety. For upsetting a metaphorical you that may have completely forgotten about me altogether and will never read these words.

Again, this isn’t an attack on you. I don’t want any more drama to come from this. I just needed to break the one thing that was keeping me from healing and learning to trust others again. I don’t want to give you trouble--I’ve kept you anonymous still for this reason, because despite how much I hate to admit it, I haven’t fully killed the part of me that loved you. I don’t want people to find you or attack you or anything. I’m sure you’re a different person now--and hopefully, a better one, with a happy life and lots of friends to make you happy. I don’t hold what happened against you. I’m hurt, and the scars you gave me haven’t healed, but I don’t hold your past self against your current self.

So if you’re still here...

Please, move on.

#negative tw #vent tw #harassment mention tw #long post #I don't really know how to tag this #sorry #I doubt anyone is even like #still following these blogs for whatever reason #but yeah. Just. Gotta get it out.#Sorry for the trouble.

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butchfalin · 6 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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essektheylyss · 1 year

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It is WILD to me how many people just loudly broadcast their intention to scab, as if that isn't the fastest way to brand yourself as someone who will throw anyone else to the wolves in an industry that runs on collaboration, so every writer say it with me

#tbh i doubt most of these people even have offers to scab. so they're REALLY just fucking themselves here.#like this doesn't even apply to me cuz it's not like I'm on anyone's radar at this point but good lord #do you wanna make rent in six months? five years from now? don't undermine the guild and dont shoot yourself in the foot! oh my god!#edited to make it more clear in the post that SCABBING IS A SHIT MOVE NOT JUST CUZ ITLL GET YOU PERSONALLY BLACKLISTED

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science-lings · 10 months

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okay this has been going through my mind for days and I have to get my thoughts out before I explode

Disclaimer, this is not talking about a specific artist/person and would never condone or participate in anon hate or online bullying for any reason but especially this one.

I get why people are mad about Link being portrayed as this buff, hypermasculine, tall guy. I am too (again don’t fucking attack people over it though) and it seems like such an infuriating way to change the character just to fit into some ideal of hypermasculine attractiveness or to make a ship fall into a more hetero lense by making him a decent foot taller than whatever girl he’s being paired with.

The world of video games and action movies and every form of media ever is extremely saturated with male characters that are swole and manly and whatever other descriptors people are trying to push onto Link that don’t fit into his actual character. There are so many characters out there that already fit this male standard and having a clearly androgynous elf guy was like a breath of fresh air.

Link was literally designed to be a character whose lines on gender were blurred, ‘a girl with a masculine touch or a guy with a feminine touch’ so that anyone could project themselves onto him. His physical design in botw/totk was specifically made to be feminine enough to wear a certain outfit to pass as a woman (which includes a nearly mandatory cutscene where he puts on the clothes and blushes after being called pretty, like you have to be blind to think that its an experience that he doesn’t like at all) and in totk there are a bunch of outfits made for Link that are blatantly gnc, ones that are practically dresses, include nail polish and lipstick, you can even dye his hair bright and vivid colors and that’s half way to giving him new pronouns. The whole reason Linkle isn’t included in more mainline loz games was because her existence would force Link into a gender dichotomy, if there's a clearly female version of the main hero, that means the main hero has to be a man, and they would rather abandon a potential reoccurring character than make Link conform to a gender binary.

So pardon me when it feels disingenuous and even malicious for him to be morphed into these clear masculine ideals, where he towers over any female romantic partner (even when in canon he is regularly depicted as noticeably shorter than her) or even in m/m fanworks he’s really beefed up, perhaps to make the scene feel more gay or something.

Perhaps it’s because his more twink-y/ femboy body type is so heavily sexualized (though obviously when people are sculping abs on him it’s totally not because they’re horny about it) and that’s an issue in itself that bothers me. But it’s just so tiring to see one of the very few popular main characters who is short and feminine and androgynous be molded into just another bland muscle-headed action hero over and over and over again.

I’m not mad at the creators for portraying him differently than how I like him portrayed, I’m mad because we really do get so few characters like him in good popular media, and to be honest, I really like him the way that he is. I love that he’s tiny and has long hair and has the option to dress any way the player likes. It seems a little distasteful to make him taller than a female love interest just because that’s how straight couples have to be, there’s just never been a real straight couple where the guy is shorter than the girl, that’s just Impossible! (/s)

#i doubt anyone read this all i just needed to get it off my chest and this felt like the best place to do it #again i don't think it's a reason to bully or even just say mean things to people over their portrayal of link #but i get why it's so frustrating to people #like... link is lowkey a hero for trans guys who aren't tall and aren't ending up as masculine as they had hoped #but he's still exceptionally capable and he's still there to be an image for people who see themselves in him #idk this is just a rant #rant #zelink #loz #botw #totk

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buwheal · 5 months

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BEACH OUTFIT 💥💥💥💥

He used to surf the web back in 98'.

#the clothes were so difficult for no reason i kept having to edit them #i actually really like this one lol #cunty uncle type thing going on #Also i love the HC that he as a plush tummy thats so cute and im stealing it #i was about to give him flipflops until i realized he cant do that #He had a dolphin print shirt but it looked ugly with the shorts and i really wanted the striped shorts lol #deltarune spamton #spamton #spamton g spamton #spamton fanart #deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #i think it looks fine but still i hope it comes across he's resting his right arm on an invisible prop for the pose lol #there was a small little fella in the back of my mind who wanted to put him in a two piece but i couldnt sorry lmfao #edit: I forgot to write this out but I wanted to put it on any post bc i dont want to post a txt post just for this #but honestly he's gotta be some flavor of queer.#It doesnt matter to me which type all that much but I HC that even though he probably is #he has never been in a relationship and i dont think he ever will #he is so full of himself and he's kind of an ass tbh. That and i doubt he trusts anyone with what he's gone through #even if he got time to heal i dont think he'd ever trust someone enough to make a real relationship that way #Thats it thanks for coming to my ted talk #if you opened the tags here's your secret paragraph & im not sorry #BuwheArt

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lunarharp · 5 months

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more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

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verdantglow · 1 month

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All the ‘zona dads + Brits + Iskall completely fucking losing it at the Hot Ones Challenge.

A couple of them tap out.

& Joe Hills just walks up, eats the ENTIRE FUCKING NUMBER 8 WING, & washes it down with COKE.

& then proceeds to do the same with the LAST TWO WINGS, just taking leisurely taking bites of his wings, nodding as he considers the flavors, a sip or two of Coke here or there.

“I’m hungry! I knew we were gonna be eating!” [gestures at table of ridiculously spicy wings]

This man is a cryptid & I love it.

#nah but actually I think it’s just that he’s from Nashville #& no one else is particularly good at spice #(Except Pearly.)#(Pearl just going in on the last wing before anyone else even processed the last one.)#(She is also a bamf.)#Okay tbf Tango also handled it pretty well.#Joe just. Seemed completely unaffected.#Love this man.#Literally everything I learn about him delights me further.#(Maybe I’m easily impressed because I am A BABY when it comes to spice.)#(Like I doubt I would have made it as far Jimmy who tapped first.)#(I would be crying halfway through I am sure.)#Joe Hills #Hermitcraft #verdant liveblogs

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rebouks · 6 months

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Wyatt: Are you sure this is the right place? Oscar: Would you get your paycheque mailed to someone else’s address? Wyatt: It depends… Darien: Do you have a bobby pin? Wyatt: Am I a woman now? Oscar: It’s a piece of fucking metal, there’s no gender requirement-.. move. … Darien: He’s obviously not here, we should leave before-… [Wyatt waved a hand dismissively, making himself comfortable behind the front door] Darien: Alright, but don’t do anything.. rash. [Oscar was beyond bored and more than a little annoyed; he hadn’t actually expected to end up ensuring Wyatt didn’t murder someone today, yet here he sat. He was almost relieved when a set of keys jangled on the other side of the door] Gael: Kaito?! Wha-… [Oscar raised a brow, Kaito? Darien shrugged] Wyatt: Where is she? Gael: She left! Wyatt: When? Gael: I-I don’t know, a-about a month ago..? Wyatt: Where’d she go? Gael: I’ve n-no idea! Fuck-… Wyatt: You kept her phone, didn’t you? [Gael might’ve answered, if he could breathe. He was much larger than Wyatt, and more muscular-.. but despite that fact, the smaller man had somehow managed to manipulate him into a position where moving only tightened the grip around his neck. He panicked, thrashing helplessly until the ginger man kicked Wyatt and he loosened his hold, finally allowing him to take a desperate, ragged breath] Oscar: Pull yourself together. [Wyatt struggled against Oscar’s grip, fuelled by anger and adrenaline] Wyatt: You let her leave with nothing, didn’t you?! [Wyatt’s boot collided with his jaw before Gael could answer] Oscar: Hey! I’ll knock you out in a minute. Gael: [groans] She wanted to leave, man-.. I’ll admit I was angry, but I thought she’d come back… Oscar: Do you still have her phone? Gael: Y-yeah. Oscar: Go n’ fucking get it then. [Gael cautiously struggled to his feet and scurried off, giving Wyatt a wide berth. He returned shortly afterward, a nervous air about him as he held Brynn’s phone out to Oscar at maximum distance; Wyatt snatched it] Wyatt: If anything’s happened to her, I’ll make your life a living hell, do you hear me? Gael: I-I’ve no idea where she went, but I’m s-sure she’ll be fine, she-… Darien: Stop digging. [Gael instantly shut his mouth and nodded solemnly] [Wyatt huffed, frustrated at Gael’s ignorance; he desperately wanted more-.. wanted to finish what he started] Oscar: [hissed] You haven’t got the connections to get away with this shit anymore, idiot.. get the fuck out before you do something you might regret. [Oscar practically shoved Darien and Wyatt out the door, relieved things hadn’t gotten too out of hand. He turned to face Gael before leaving, offering a slight grin as though to imply a wordless apology] Oscar: You ought to get yourself a deadbolt… [Gael took a deep breath, trying his best to steady his voice] Gael: I ought to move. Oscar: [whispers] Even better.

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atthebell · 5 months

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can we all agree not to call cellbit and baghera fucking smartduo or whatever the fuck duo name just say their names out or say cellbaghs literally no one is shipping them it's fine

#bell.txt #even twitter people are just using cellbaghs its fine who care #ignoring all the people calling them siblings on there please shut up forever #also i think if you want to ship them thats also fine i just doubt like anyone is going to do that #like. i personally would love to do that if it made sense but it doesnt really they dont have that vibe going on

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bisexualseraphim · 26 days

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Just saw some Free Palestine supporters on the road to my parents’ house and was about to wave at them but then I saw a couple of them holding signs making disgusting antisemitic jokes about Passover. Guys seriously how fucking difficult is it to just. Not do that 😭 You’re really not giving Palestine extra help by making horrible comments and jokes about Jews ffs can you not just promote support for Palestine without bringing hatred for entire minority demographics into it DURING THE TIME OF A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY. It is remarkably easy to criticise Israel without antisemitism and if you can’t do that then maybe you should stay out of the movement because you’re causing much more harm than good

#It was in such a small town as well where I doubt anyone has ever even met a Jewish person #Like in the city I’d expect some of that cos there’s more people but a tiny Northern town? That’s scary #Makes me so sad when bigots highjack what should be a compassionate movement #I know it must be so scary to be Jewish or Muslim right now and it stresses me out just thinking about it #Like it’s scary being Jewish or Muslim any day of the year but especially with everything going on lately #I’m sad. People make me sad #When will the hatred and violence ever stop fr #Ugh my day’s ruined now someone send me something funny pls #personal #vent #rant #antisemitism #free palestine #free gaza #i/p #protest

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witchspeka · 10 months

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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive

Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support

Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted

So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too

He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.

And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him

Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart

Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best

Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level

Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)

Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions

Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?

Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist

But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again

Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are

This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down

And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up

I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean

He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety

Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true

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