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#I don’t start my actual shift until Wednesday I believe
woohol · 1 year
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First day at the new job,, wish me luck yall 🥺
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yelenasdiary · 5 months
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I hate that I am making this post but I am simply making it for the others to be aware of this particular person.
Below the cut there are mentions of suicide, nothing explicit but just a heads up x
Please know I am not making this to humiliate this person or cause them any harm, this is simply for others to be aware and to be able to lookout for themselves!
I’m not 100% confident on their name but they have used Alice before, but again, can’t confirm if this is actually their name. But I can confirm that the person I’m talking about has in fact done the same thing to another person & I can only imagine there are others.
This person gets a kick out of seeking help from others. They will tell you how sad and depressed they are, they will send you detailed messages on how they want to hurt themselves or how they have currently hurt themselves then suddenly stop replying, leaving you to worry and hope they are okay.
They’ll return a day or so later and apologise over and over how it wasn’t fair for them to put that on you and within minutes the conversation will shift and return to how depressed they are etc.
I started talking to this person around late March, I noticed rather quickly how odd I thought it was that they would message me around the same time every night. Thursday & Friday nights around 9-10pm, sometimes on a Saturday. They would then deactivate their blog out of nowhere or without a word and come back a week later acting like a different person but the story and detailed messages were the same.
Eventually they deactivated once again and I didn’t hear from them for a few months then 2-3 months ago I received an anonymous ask stating they were going to take their life and so on. I could tell this was the same person from the detailed information in the ask and decided to ignore it and reply to another ask of theirs asking them to kindly leave me alone. I blocked them and the next day I received asks saying that I had killed a girl.
“She reached out to you and you ignored her” etc etc. Of course I didn’t believe this at all so I blocked and deleted the asks. This person has shown me before how quickly they can become angry if things don’t go their way. They got upset with me once because I didn’t agree with them on their opinions on the police force and how they handle at risk people.
Then last week on Tuesday night, after I finished work I saw I had a spam or asks on my side blog (sokoviansecret) saying they hated me and what not, at first I didn’t think it was the same person and just another troll but the more asks I read after replying to 2 of them I knew it was them.
I told them that I wasn’t buying into their behaviour and to call a helpline if they seriously need help. On Wednesday night I came home from work to a spam of 20+ asks from 6:30pm to 7:45pm saying how a “Sydney girl was found dead by family” and that messages between me and then had “leaked” and that it was my fault that they “took” their life.
This is the second time this person has done this to me. So I again, told them I wasn’t stupid and I knew that they were not dead that they need to stop using this as a way to gain attention. I also mentioned that if they didn’t leave me alone for good I would take things further. I blocked them once again and I didn’t hear anything until the other night when somebody reached out to me with a screenshot of an ask another blog received.
“Yelenasdiary killed a girl
She had an OD she’s dead”
This is where I gave up. This person is now trying to tell people I am responsible for the death of somebody who isn’t even dead. Unfortunately I am not the only person this has happened too. I’ve had another person reach to me and tell me their experience and they confirmed the one of the blogs they were contacted from is the same blog I was contacted from.
The blog is now deactivated but if you ever spoke to a blog under the names: introvertedmoths, wandamaximoffspuppup or hellhoundskiss please know that everything they said was nothing but a lie. These are the 3 blogs that I currently know of and unfortunately I don’t know what their current blog is.
This person lies and abuses your trust. I never ever want anybody to feel the pain and suffering I do so of course I wanted to help and be somebody they could count on to be there for them but when I noticed it was all for their benefit, for the attention, I had to stop. They’re made because I stopped, because I don’t believe a single word they say.
If this person sounds familiar to you or you think you’ve experienced this person, please don’t let their behaviour have any effect on you! They are a sick individual person who needs help, help we can no provide.
Please be safe and look after yourself & others.
I’m sorry again to make such a long post but it seems tumblr won’t do anything and I refuse to let this person make me out to be a cruel individual.
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wildlife4life · 1 year
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WIP Wednesday
Tagged by @destielbuddiepipeline before it was even Wednesday for me. But now that I've actually been to bed and had some coffee, I was inspired by Temptation Tuesday and started this bad boy (just for @destielbuddiepipeline bc they got super excited for it, which made me excited so I put words to the screen.)
This is my Buck is an NFL quarterback and in a secret longterm relationship with Eddie, who is the newest member of the 118. Chim and the others are really curious about their new team member who has years of experience, shares little about his personal life, and never works a shift when the L.A. Rams have a home game.
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“HOLY SHIT!” Chimney shouts the moment the tweet pops up in his notifications. ESPN and the NFL app follow shortly after with the same breaking news.  One of the top quarterbacks in the league was coming to L.A. on a blockbuster trade.
“Put ESPN on!” Chimney demands as he pushes himself away from the kitchen table and quickly shuffles his way over to the lounge area.
Jefferson doesn’t hesitate and immediately changes the channel from the Bones rerun to a panel of sport analyst of ESPN.  Scrolling across the very bottom of the screen read, “Breaking News: Evan Buckley traded! Headed to Los Angeles Rams!”
“Oh my god! Our chances at the Super Bowl just skyrocketed!” Chimney exclaims in pure delight.  High fives are spread all around with those who actually appreciated the Rams.
In the distance a phone rings in the captain’s office.
“It’s official.” Maddie says over the phone. Eddie hums, watching the muted ESPN channel as the panel of several sports’ analyst freak out over the block buster trade. “And you’ve given your notice? To both districts?”
“Yea. Captain Royce is sad to see me go but thinks the change of scenery would do me good. Which I don’t know if I should be insulted or not.” Eddie answers.
Maddie is silent for a moment.  She was probably remembering how Eddie almost lost his life during rescue attempts after Hurricane Harvey. Or maybe she remembers the nasty custody battle he went through with Shannon just before she was killed in a hit and run. There was also Buck’s leg injury that almost ended his career and Maddie’s ex-husband trying to kill her only to end up dead himself.  There were several not-so-great memories wrapped up in Houston, but neither of them actually says it out loud.
But yea, the change of scenery would be good for all of them. The Texans just weren’t the team for Buck anymore and the L.A. Rams were just on the precipice of another Super Bowl run.  They believed Buck was one of only a handful of missing pieces to make it happen and Eddie could see by February next year Buck hoisting the Lombardi.
“LAFD is one of the top fire departments in the country.  They’ll be lucky to have you.” Maddie finally says.
Eddie laughs, “Well they may be just a little too excited. I’ve already been assigned a house even though we won’t be out there until end of May.”
“Oh? Which house?”
“118 with Captain Robert Nash.”
Ya'll I even made a fake tweet with an actual sports person who basically has all the inside information for the NFL. He always breaks the big NFL news first. This will probably end up being a long one shot. The timeline is an odd mix of canon 9-1-1 and actual NFL events mixed all together.
Also it pains me greatly to make another NFL team so amazing and win the Super Bowl that isn't the Kansas City Chiefs. But since they won this year, the pain is less.
Tagging: @ebdaydreamer @buddiefication
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mareenavee · 8 months
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WIP Whenever~
Tagged by the lovely @thequeenofthewinter and @ladytanithia!
Tagging the phenomenal @paraparadigm, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thana-topsy, @wildhexe, @dirty-bosmer, @saltymaplesyrup, @miraakulous-cloud-district, @kookaburra1701, @polypolymorph, @gilgamish, @elfinismsarts, @archangelsunited and @friend-of-giants
I forgot what day it was! Winter always reminds me! Or perhaps it's not Wednesday until it's WIP WEDNESDAY ;>
Here we go with a chunk of chapter 29, fresh out the braincells. Below the cut. Just over 1100 words because I wrote more five minutes ago and have, as ya'll have gathered by now, absolutely no chill.
Dawn was beautiful when the ash storms weren’t brewing. The sun tinged the clouds a warm orange and, for a moment, everything seemed to glow gold in the light — even Nyenna. She was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, hair and cloak blowing in the slight breeze as she stared out across the ash wastes. She didn’t turn when he stepped out onto the landing, and instead just sighed behind her mask. There was a bit of an iciness to her pose — she was closed off, almost like she was trying to build a wall that kept collapsing with each attempt to stack the next stone.
“I — ” she started, words faltering on their way out. “I was going to leave, Teldryn.” She spoke with a kind of crumbling doubt that sent a shiver through his spine. Tugging her cloak around herself, she spoke again, voice soft and miserable. “Just like before. I was so tempted to just…run. To let myself believe I wasn’t enough for what comes next. I woke up and I was so sure. So sure. But then…”
Teldryn reached out and unfolded her hand from herself. She let him take it. The moonstone accents of her elven armor reflected the early rays right back into his eyes. He’d been here before, this same junction. He’d said it, perhaps not in as many words, the first time she talked about this. How before a certain point, it was so easy to believe all of it could fall to someone else. How the world quickly reminded you it wouldn’t.
“You stayed,” he said with a nod. “Or rather, didn’t exactly leave me and everything all behind.”
“I stopped frantically packing my things and tried to find somewhere to think.” She ran a hand over her hair. “It’s hard to come to terms with the person I’m supposed to be.”
Teldryn knew that feeling. It still itched in the back of his mind. How does one live up to the kind of expectations legendary heroes live under? Was there an answer that would actually suffice in the face of something like this?
“All you can do is your best,” Teldryn said. He squeezed her hand. “Not running a second time is you showing yourself how far you’ve come.”
She lowered her mask and let it fall over the collar of her cloak. The little red chitin lenses glinted as she tilted her head.
“Wise once again,” she said after a long moment. She turned her sharp citrine gaze on him. “You didn’t seem very wise when we met.” She seemed not to be able to hold the conversation without humor. It was one of the heavier topics, and he could relate. He cracked a grin.
“It’s an illusion,” he scoffed. “Wisdom, from me? Ha! Imagine.”
Nyenna laughed, and for a second the world seemed far less cold and chaotic. Another illusion, of course, but he’d take it. They were interrupted by the keening of the silt strider, the sound of it reverberating through their skulls and off the mushroom stalks of the settlement. It was still a tiny dot on the horizon, coming in from the direction of Raven Rock.
“Did you want to wish anyone farewell?” Nyenna asked. They’d be able to depart any moment now. “I’ve said all I can. I still feel too much like…well. Like an outlander.”
Teldryn scoffed. “Don’t let Neloth’s nonsense get to you.” He shifted and handed Nyenna her bag, then fished a spare leather strip from his pocket and handed that to her, too. She was always losing them, it seemed. She tied back her hair, expression going mildly melancholic.
“It’s not that he’s gotten to me. Well, not worse than already established. It’s just…it’s all wrapped up in my feeling like I should have never come here.”
Did she really believe that? That she shouldn’t have come here? That they shouldn’t have met? There was nothing that said they’d never have crossed paths otherwise. He couldn’t breathe. It was too much to be wrestling fate into shape in his head. There was a reason she came here. There was a reason they’d met. There was always a reason. He’d learned the hard way so many times over. Did she regret crossing paths? No. It wasn’t about him. This was her story. It’s not like he’d written himself into the spaces. This — the two of them? It was meant to be. It was. It had to be, or else —
She caught his eye then, and for a moment that seemed like it stretched into eras, all he could see what that perfect golden thread that connected them. Her gaze calmed him, and his pulse steadied. His ears were too full of the echo of Magicka. Or heartbeats. It mattered little at this point. That spark he’d felt back in the Netch was bright. It burnt, almost — the odd light of dawn adding to the notion of fire. She was right there, exactly where she was supposed to be. And so was he. And it wasn’t fair, not least because he could have easily kissed her now, damn the consequences. He shoved that particularly unkind realization down. S’wit. He took her other hand, though why he did, he couldn’t tell. He’d rarely been this overwhelmed.
“You — ” he started. She gave him a puzzled look. He cleared his throat. “We’re only ever where we’re supposed to be at any given time.”
She shook her head. “So I’m always in the wrong place at the wrong time, perpetually?” She waved her hand dismissively, and folded her arms over her chest again. Teldryn didn’t know what to do with his hands. His palms were sweating in his gauntlets. Damn it. She sighed. “Fate, or whatever such nonsense, is quite cruel in that case.”
“Is it, though?” he asked; none of the usual sarcasm laced his words. Shut up, Sero, what are you doing? “Not like we didn’t cross paths.” He walked closer to her and took her hand again. She looked him over and frowned.
“Well, alright. Perhaps not everything that happened was for the worst,” she said, but her tone was flippant. She sniffed and stepped back from him. Just like that, the moment crumbled. Because of course it would. Because what on Nirn was he really expecting? Idiot. Keep it together. He wanted to say something. Anything. Instead, he stayed silent as she finished her thought. “Most of it, maybe, was. Can’t quite deny that truth, can we?” She laughed. He shook his head. “At least we can suffer the consequences together.”
Well, there was that.
“Sure,” Teldryn answered. He laughed, hoping it didn’t sound as hollow as he felt. If he’d be able to manage, they could, anyway.
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lovebvni · 5 months
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shifting update
wow. i kinda just realized i haven’t spoke about my shifting journey and how it goes with me… lmao. oops! my bad, guys! anyways, here’s a long needed update to come while i’m working on a blog about my whole shifting journey until now. that blog should come out mid december im thinking.
anyways, i’ve been making attempts left and right yall 💀💀 just about every night since i had the flu. there’s like one day i didn’t shift lmao, and it was bc i was balling my eyes out and i struggled to even breathe right. 💀💀
anyways! last night i made an attempt using the new “wing it” method i’ve been trying out, and it actually went quite well. i did this wednesday night too and i got symptoms! something i haven’t got in a while. the symptoms were just feeling heavy/floaty btw 💀 noting too wild.
but, the thing is, i haven’t personally been feeling satisfied with my attempts. i feel like im getting to the point where im starting to be satisfied with them, though. like last night i actually felt pretty okay with what i did before i fell asleep (as im doing an asleep method)
i don’t know what my personal issue is with it, btw, it’s not that i feel disappointed in myself, but more that i wish i was doing better? or more? i’m a perfectionist btw 💀 and i know shifting has absolutely nothing to do with doing the “right” thing, but rather doing what feels right to you and what you can and will believe. but i believe i can do more. although believing i can do more doesn’t mean i SHOULD do more. like i could just be good with what im doing, but do it in a different order you know?
but i… i don’t even know how to explain it other than im not satisfied. i want to do more and it’s driving me CRAZY that im not. its like driving on a highway, i want to go faster but i can’t and i don’t need to. sure, there’s 30 minutes before i get to my destination and i think im going to be late, but in reality i’ll be on time or even early. i just need to relax and let the navigation guide me. worry about where i am right now and the next stop, not the steps after.
and i’ve been advised not to take a break btw!! this is not me overworking myself. i have a specific sign i have to see before making an attempt and another sign if i shouldn’t make an attempt. the universe knows these signs and has been showing me them DAILY before i make an attempt. don’t worry yall 💀💀
anyways i guess ill try to talk more abt my shifting journey now! i know it helps some people figure out where they’re going and whatnot, so… yeah! my goal is to help and advice while i’m getting to my current destination — and even after i get there. i love yall! happy shifting :)
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blocksruinedme · 11 months
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wip wednesday: burning man au, flower husbands. it's, uh, 1436 words. a fic preview really!
Alright! Once I finish my wips, burning man au is on the damn horizon. High priority, my dudes. This is the scene that spawned probably 100k+ words! Those words still have plenty of jimmy/scott... but a lot of jimmy/joel and etho/joel and mumbo/grian/scar. This scene was going to be a one shot about Jimmy rolling at a rave, that I came up with staring out the window driving home on christmas day, and now there's two authors and... we'll you'll see soon. :)
[edit: well i kept editing more of the wip, and i realized it's 5 months today since i started this who thing and I'm insane that we haven't published anything so here's a preview that is barely shorter than my shortest non-drabble fic.]
My co-author in this grand project is @toasted-cricket, who you can find on ao3 cricket_toast for sfw and toasty_cricket for (excellent) nsfw. (and of course I'm BlocksRuinedMe.) Subscribe to us to make sure you see the AU when it premieres!
Also, here's our playlist! I'm tossing some notes at the end of the post. (I can not believe I have made a second *spotify* for mcyt, this is out of control)
[CONTENT NOTE: drugs (mdma/ecstasy/molly). starts out with jimmy intoxicated, all explicit discussion below the cut].
"Just Keep Following The Heartlines on Your Hand" (working title)
Fic will be rated E but this is just T.
Setting: It's wednesday afternoon at burning man, and scott does not like being in a dusty hot desert, but at least he has a giant derby hat and a smoothie from the disco smoothie theme camp down the road. Suddenly, there's a Jimmy on him!
“Jiiimmy….”
“Hmm?” Jimmy shifted to put more weight, and more of his hip, on top of Scott. They’d been cuddly while drunk at parties a couple of times, but nothing like this.
“Jimmy, did someone give you something special?”
“Scott.” Jimmy moved so he could look directly at Scott, which unfortunately meant he was now fully straddling Scott’s left leg. Jimmy’s face was soft, intent, determined, and even more beautiful than normal. Right. 
Jimmy looked at him until he made some private decision, nodded slightly, and began speaking more quickly than Scott had ever heard. “Scott, I really really need to tell you how much I love you. You’re actually so wonderful, and you’re literally so smart and you make me so so so happy, I’m literally so glad to have you in my life, and don’t laugh–” Scott was not laughing  “--I know you’ll think, you might think, I don’t know what you’ll think but I hope you won’t think…"
"...it’s not just because I’m on Ecstasy, okay? I love you when I’m sober but it’s scary to say and I really really don’t want to make you uncomfortable but I do, so much, do you understand? I need you to understand.”
Scott let out a breath. This was ridiculous, this was trite. He wasn’t going to be responsible for hours of Jimmy desperately needing to talk about his feelings, that was for Lizzie or someone, but for now? 
 This was okay for now.
“Yeah, Jimmy, I think I understand. You’re a very loving person, and I’m glad to be your friend.”
The smile that blossomed on Jimmy’s face made Scott feel like the wind *had* been knocked out of him. Jimmy wasn’t normally a tense or stressed person, or he didn’t show it, and he smiled all the damn time, but all the brain chemistry made his face so sweet, so open–and now it was more than just the chemicals, he supposed, because this smile came from what Scott had said.
The words began pouring out of Jimmy in a torrent. Scott could make out everything he said, but he needed to focus–which wasn’t that hard given that Jimmy was both on top of him and staring directly into his eyes.
“Scott, you’re actually so funny, do you know that? Like your Scott humor, which isn’t anyone else’s, it’s really so unique and good?” 
Scott nodded and attempted to thank Jimmy, but he didn’t seem to notice. 
“Scott, I actually don’t know if you know how good you are? You have–basically a good soul? Yeah, that’s it, and Scott–Scott, maybe you’re too hard on yourself? You’re so good and I know you have high standards, but I’ll tell you, I promise, okay?” 
Scott didn’t know what it was Jimmy was promising to tell him, but he was content to let Jimmy have his E word explosion. It was probably his first time, which was generally extra intense. Scott smiled and let Jimmy continue.
“And you’re smart, so much I don’t always know what you’re talking about but you look at things and you understand them literally so quickly. I watch you, sometimes, how you talk to people and how you get information and know what to do so quickly, and I can’t even imagine, I literally can’t imagine. I know that basically everyone here is so much smarter than me, but it’s not like I can tell being good at robots from being great at robots, but Scott you’re good at things and I can tell that you are and wish I could be a little smarter. Do you know, Scott, do you know all the things you’re good at, I bet you don’t, but do you?”
 Jimmy did not pause for an answer, Jimmy did not seem to even imagine that Scott might want to talk. Luckily, he didn’t. At least until Jimmy gave him space to. 
“And you’re so cute, I know you know that but I want you to know that I know, especially when you’re flirty and I know you flirt with everyone but I really like it? And your smile, and when you chuckle and you smile? Scott –You’re beautiful, you really are, do you know that?
Scott froze, hoping Jimmy would move on from this topic. Quickly.
“I bet you don’t know how beautiful you genuinely are, I bet you don’t let yourself, but you’re perfect and I can actually literally see it and I’d never ever lie to you, okay? I will never ever lie to you no matter what, Scott, I genuinely really wouldn’t, I swear I wouldn’t–”
Jimmy had gone from a look of “the universe is nothing but peace and love” to “very distressed” disorientingly fast - presumably from the idea that Scott was accusing him of lying. 
“Hey, hey, Jimmy, it’s okay. I know you wouldn’t.” Scott was limited in what he could do physically while pinned under his very strong (and incredibly attractive friend) but he put his right hand on Jimmy’s cheek, which seemed to stop his sudden distress. 
Scott's attempt at calming Jimmy down worked perhaps too well, because he closed his eyes and basically nuzzled Scott’s hand. Everything was getting more intimate than Scott had intended, but Jimmy stopped talking about Scott, which was a great relief. 
While Scott was considering what his exit strategy should be, his situation was made much more complicated, (emotionally, logistically, and potentially… other ways), by Jimmy letting himself fall onto Scott. His legs were still straddling Scott’s left leg and the rest of him was draped across Scott’s chest. Most troublingly, his face was turned into Scott’s neck. Scott took some deep breaths to calm down, but just as he thought he was making a bit of progress, Jimmy moved his left hand to cradle Scott’s head. Scott hadn’t been touched that way in many months, and he was considering the merits of pretending to be unconscious when Jimmy resumed talking. Into his neck. Where Scott could feel his breath and almost his lips. 
Wonderful. 
At least Jimmy couldn’t see his face. Scott decided to just give in, resting his face atop Jimmy’s hair and wrapping his non-pinned arm around Jimmy’s back. He felt so warm, and even though they’d been in the god awful desert for however many days, he somehow smelled good – or at least his hair did. 
“And I know you try to play it off sometimes, I really see you Scott, but you’re sweet, you’re so sweet, you’re so good to your friends, and I love you, I really really love you, with literally all my heart. And everyone can see you’re so confident, and I don’t know how much that is–-everyone has doubts, right? But you always keep it together, right? You’re so good at keeping cool Scott, and I appreciate it, I think everyone does, we love you, you’re so good and lovable. But you don’t always have to, okay? Keep it so much together, taking care of everything, everyone. I could take care of you Scott, I really could, I don’t know if anyone does? If you let down all your—your thingies. Masks or walls or whatever.  If you ever want, with me, I’ll take care of you and be nice and I’d never judge you, because I love you so much, do you understand? ”
This was maybe less okay. …Definitely less okay. Scott had been around rolling people before, and been included in “i love everyone in the world” pronouncement, and “I love everyone in this bar” equivalents, and a few rounds of “Scott you’re great I love you (as much as many other friends)”. Scott had seen people being perceptive on E, getting that “magic insight”, but he was absolutely not prepared to get something like *this* from *Jimmy*. It’s not that it was hard to guess that confident people sometimes had doubts, but the way Jimmy was talking to him, was looking at him, was… too much. Scott had just wanted a smoothie and a nap and instead Jimmy was trying to see into his soul while straddling his leg and nuzzling his neck. 
All Scott could think to do was redirect. “Yes, Jimmy, that’s great, I understand you. I can go be sad at you if I need to.” 
Jimmy shifted his weight again and then his hand was on Scott’s cheek. This was an entirely bad idea, this was too intimate in half a dozen ways, Jimmy was being too much, and Scott needed to stop him immediately, to get loose and find someone else to foist Jimmy onto.
He did not.
--------- And that starts off one of the story cycle fics! It's one wednesday at burning man, and to get the full story you have to read from different POVs - y'know, like an smp
Thiss the Jimmy centric one which is def scott pov and def fwhip pov and i'm not sure otherwise. The Joel fic is joel/jimmy and joel/etho and joel/gay panic
There's a Grian fic that's about anxiety, but also Scar and Pearl
There's like 4 others fics that might happen on wednesday. Then there's the story of this community over the next year that will.... it might not be possible for me to write everything I want to write in the time I have but we will see! Ships include: scar/grian/mumbo, soup group, jimmy/scott jimmy/fwhip jimmy/joel, etho/joel, oli/joe... like a lot. It's gonna be great! ----------
So, the playlist!
Cricket and I both love music and have put a lot of energy into trying to get each other to like our music. Sadly, I'm been more successful.
You may notice a lot of Kate Bush, Florence + The Machine and Dessa on here, we have this idea of every fic in the series having a title from a song by one of them, we'll see.
Why songs are on here
- They speak very specifically to a character/group (Hounds of Love by Kate Bush, All This And Heaven To by Florence + The Machine)
- Like a couple lines speak to a character and that’s enough to want it there
- Music we’ve listened to a lot while planning the series (Waterloo by ABBA)
- A vibe we want for a lot of these people over the year because we’re gonna make ‘em all better, one way or another (Level Up by Vienna Teng)
- Good “Burning Man Music” (Halycon + On + On by Orbital, Little Fluffy Clouds by The Orb)
- We don’t fully remember cause we started this au on christmas
- Music that gives me energy to Write Introspective Character Studies 
- Y’know, it slaps?
If you want to ask about a specific song, go ahead!
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hereforthehaunts · 2 years
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ISWM Codes
UPDATED 4/4 Pre-ISWM
For anyone who’d like to get caught up on all the premiere trailer craziness, I thought I’d compile what we have so far into a post! Everything I know has been figured out with the help of the MCJ Lore Hunters Discord with a special focus on Atterid. They’ve put in so much work and are much faster than me so keep up with them on Twitter here!
Okay so if you’re just now diving in I recommend you watch the original trailer again and then the premiere just to see how wildly different they’ve become.
Original Trailer
Premiere Trailer
The Premiere Trailer has been changing everyday since Monday the 28th. Scenes are changing, new scenes are being added, and the video is slowly becoming more and more glitched with every day. The codes are typically hidden in a scene that is reversed or a new scene! Also, if you click on the video and copy the link, there is an unlisted version of it where the thumbnail has also been slowly changing everyday. 
Actual codes and changes below, I don’t want to make the post annoyingly long on people’s dashes. 
Every code has two parts separated by an underscore. The first is solved with a caesar shift cipher (set key to 7), and we believe the second part is solved with a substitution cipher. The scenes that are in reverse may need to be reversed.
*Update from 4/4- the substitute cipher is wrong, but the correct explanation is at the bottom under updates!  
Here’s the daily code breakdown with timestamps and results:
Monday 3/28 - 1:31
Hwoyvkpal_GalxmdlB2cs=
First part: Aphrodite
Second part: PRESIDENT H / HE STING TO BE (reversed)
Unlisted thumbnail is same as the normal trailer I think (below is the normal trailer thumbnail) 
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Tuesday 3/29 - 1:25
Glbz_lZGdkgGZgBX
First part: Zeus
Second part:  T HER SEE HEW A / HES AS SITS AN (reversed)
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Wednesday 3/30 - 1:32
Ryvuvz_IllHIgNXemJ
First part: Kronos
Second Part: D A AND ST HERO
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Thursday 3/31 - 0:22
Wvzlpkvu_VnIldGeg9Wc
First part: Poseidon
Second part: KING ATE THE
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Friday 4/1 - 1:03
Hylz_hXIpVGIzYid=
First part: Ares
Second part: THE IN CEASED
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Saturday 4/2 - 0:14
Olytlz_duNGcphnbIlw
First part: Hermes
Second part: BUT IN GATHERS
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Sunday 4/3 - 0:46
Vbyhuvz_HczRHdvMWYL
First part: Ouranos
Second part: DEAR DINT OF H
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The codes started 8 days before the premiere - the same number of planets in our solar system (sorry Pluto). Each of the greek gods in the codes correlates to a planet! This may be a clue about how to solve the second half of the codes once we have all the phrases! 
The words in the trailer have also been changing: 
Who will you save? - You won’t save them...
Who will/can you save? - You won’t/can’t save them...
Have you ever considered there is no right answer? - Have you ever considered there is no answer?
Another change that stands out to me is the scene at 2:03 where we can see earth out the window. The scene has had black bar glitches over it for the past couple of days, but as of 4/2 the window is blacked out until the earth glitches through for a second. Idk it’s just weird. So many strange things are happening in this trailer lol
I’ll update this post as we go, but these are what we have so far! Not completely sure what to do with the codes’ second halves yet, but hopefully all will become clear soon. 
This is so fun, hope this helps all the other lore hunters! 
Updates 4/3
Honestly feeling very unsure of the second halves of the codes, but maybe we just don’t know what to do with them yet? Thoughts are very welcome! Also, as I’ve seen other people mentioning, today’s thumbnail has very Who Killed Markiplier vibes with the eyes scratched out. And the only planet we’re missing now is Gaea/Earth!
Update 4/4 Pre-ISWM
We know what the second part means now!!! Apparently some mods got hints about how to solve it because we were all sweating and crying. It’s my understanding that the clues were this picture
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and 
v
e
r
t
i
c
a
l
SO, Mario 64 hints at a Base64 code, and vertical means we have to look at them vertically. The gods’ names were right and they give us the order we’re supposed to list the codes- the order of the planets in our solar system (Hermes/Mercury, Aphrodite/Venus, Earth, Ares/Mars, Zeus/Jupiter, Kronos/Saturn, Ouranos/Uranus, Poseidon/Neptune) like this:
duNGcphnb1lw GalxmdlB2cs= hXIpVGIzYid= lZGdkgGZgBX IllHIgNXemJ HczRHdvMWYL VnIldGeg9Wc
Then we have to read it vertical, giving us:
dGhlIHV
uaXZlcn
NlIGlzI
GxpdRl
cmVkIHd
pdGggdG
hlIGNve
nBzZXMg
b2YgeW9
1ciBmYW
lsdXJlc
w==
Which when you use base64 and should get (i haven’t been able to get this completely, but i am tired and dumb. i might be typing them out wrong lol):
The universe is littered with the corpses of your failures...
So there you go! The code is solved! Apparently we made a mess across the universe lmao
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huge-enthusiast · 3 years
Text
Miraculous fic recomendations!!
This is just an excuse to show all my bookmarks? Yes. Yes, it is. I'm pretty sure most of this fics are really popular, but try see if you find something you didn't knew about!
All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don't put the author's tumblr is because they didn't put it in the fic or/and I couldn't find it.
Pairing: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
knowing you by emsylcatac (they are not really the author of the fic but that's the account that says in the fic, the actual author doesn't have an account).
After dropping their transformations months ago, Marinette and Adrien see each other for the first time after being apart. They've both left too much unsaid and have to work to pick up the pieces of their confused hearts.
Chapters: 1/1
Post-reveal but mostly ladynoir, light angst with happy ending.
the last day on earth by Reiaji
The first time Marinette sees Chat Blanc, she's fourteen years old. The second time, fifteen—the third time, seventeen.
The closer she grows to Adrien, the harder it is to save him.
Chapters: 1/1
Post-reveal lovesquare, kinda heavy angst, hopeful ending.
tell me something i don't know by carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)
Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?
The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and while their bond draws them together, duty forces them apart.
Chapters: currently 17/28 (WIPs can be exhausting but this one is 100% worth the wait!)
Mostly marichat but almost all of the lovesquare sides make an appearance, soulmates au, mostly fluff but it can get angsty if it wants to.
One Thing After Another by SKayLanphear
Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.
Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.
Chapters: 15/15
Mostly adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, miraculous side effects (by both sides wich is really cool!), it's fluff with a lil tiny angst for drama.
This would take some getting used to by Codango (@codango here on tumblr!)
Adrien peeked out from behind the chimney even as the magic of his own Chat Noir mask fell away.
She was still visible, her dark hair bobbing under the street lamps a couple blocks away.
“Marinette.”
Adrien blew out a confused breath. His fiery Ladybug… was the quiet little mouse who sat behind him in class?
“What. The.”
This… would take some getting used to.
Chapters: 8/8
Adrienette with one sided reveal by Adrien's part, awkward flirting, just fluff, nothing to worry about.
comfort food also by Reiaji!
In Marinette's house, cooking is a language of love, and Marinette loves Adrien more than most.
Chapters: 1/1
Adrienette with a little of ladynoir, super super fluff, a lot of insight into Marinette's chinese heritage.
The right side of his face by walkingonthestars (@hamsternamedmarinette here on tumblr!)
Marinette and Adrien are able to remain in their new seats in the back of the room at the end of Chameleon.
Chapters: 1/1
Adrienette, fluff with light angst.
it's a long way forward so trust in me by aloneintherain (@captainkirkk here on tumblr!)
“You’re not the only strong one around here, Chat,” Marinette said. She looked a little winded, but she wasn’t struggling to hold him up.
This close up, he could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose. He could see how that smug smile lit up her eyes. He could feel the strain of her arms—and wow, okay, he really wasn’t the only person around here with muscles.
Six times Marinette carried Adrien (plus one time he carried her).
Chapters: 1/1
All the sides of the lovesquare! Fluff with LOTS of mutual pining.
a fight that you were born to lose also by aloneintherain
When the prosecution starts throwing around the word victim in reference to Adrien, he has to stuff his hands under his thighs to keep himself from bolting out of the courtroom.
Adrien had felt unsafe during those last few weeks, but, until he had woken up and seen Father silhouetted in his bedroom doorway, that had only been paranoia. Father was controlling and cold, but he wasn’t hateful. Adrien was isolated. He was often hungry. And some weeks ago, when he had snuck out to visit Nino, sitting thigh-to-thigh on his bed while Adrien cried in that silent, crumbling way of his, he hadn’t argued when Nino put a hand on his shoulder and said, tentatively, That’s abuse.
But Adrien remembers being small and Father touching his hair after he’d aced another test; Father holding his scribbled drawings like they were something precious, and framing them around his office; Father, dressed as Hawkmoth, his eyes wild behind the mask, lashing his sword against Adrien’s baton; Father, collapsed against Mum, crying into her ashy hair.
Adrien finds out Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action.
Chapters: 1/1
This one doesn't really focus in the ship that much as is an Adrien character study and an exploration of his relationship with his father, but they're still there so I put them here. Really heavy angst (this is one of this fics that haunt me in the middle of the night) with a happy ending. ❗TW: parental abuse, eating disorders❗
Supercut by LNC
Marinette loves her friends and Adrien can't deal.
Chapters: 1/1
Post-reveal lovesquare, again light angst, an exploration of Adrien's insecurities, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves the world, happy ending.
Madame Snare by jettiebettie
“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”
“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.
“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.
“I could.”
Chapters: 1/1
Marichat, episode-based, Chat Noir in a dress!!!, light angst but it's mostly just idiots being idiots and a lot of fun.
in the same sun by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)
"It’s hard to believe that I saw you last at the peak of summer, when the sun was close and warm - and so were you. It should go without saying that I miss you. I miss you something terrible."
//
"It’s been seven months to the day since I’ve seen you. I wish you were here more than anything else."
Two letters, signed with initials instead of names, found in Paris, France.
Chapters: 1/1
Ladynoir, just angst, that's it, written like letters. No ending, just pain.
an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles (@ladyofthenoodle here on tumblr!)
When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.
(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)
Chapters: 1/1
Ladrien, it says it's crack, and don't get me wrong, is super funny, but I also found it sad as fuck?
An Open Secret by Kasienda
Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.
He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.
Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.
He knew Ladybug’s name!
Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.
It wasn’t fair!
...
A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.
Chapters: 4/4
Post-reveal... but is it? Mostly adrienette and ladynoir, fluff with light angst and them being absolute idiots at hiding their secret identity.
golden (like daylight) by okayanna (@anna-scribbles here on tumblr!)
Friendship, Adrien decided, shaking off the mental image of Marinette’s hurricane eyes and hesitant mouth, parted in a small, careful “o.” He had a very strong friendship with Marinette. That was all.
or
Adrien thinks a lot about words, love, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
Chapters: 1 + epilogue
Adrienette but has lots of ladynoir, another Adrien character study because I hate myself, it tries to not be angst but the writing will punch you in the guts and make you cry, it's so good.
Strangers in the Bright Lights by poodles (@ladybeug here on tumblr!)
Adrien is about two drinks in when he sees a girl at the end of the bar wearing black cat ears. It's kind of weird, so he watches her, and although it's crowded he can see her face when she turns around. She’s wearing a Chat Noir mask. He takes a quick look around- nobody else is wearing a mask. Just her.
Adrien finishes his gin martini and heads over to her. He could use some company tonight anyways, he hasn’t told anyone he’s back in Paris and Nathalie won’t arrive in town for another month. And it’s been a rough day, okay? A rough move! He’s not sure he wants to be back yet, and he spent most of the day in the Agreste mansion sorting through some photographs of his father he found in the study. Maybe he wants a drink and some stranger to tell him he’s pretty! That’s not a crime, is it?
Chapters: 1/1
Adrienette but it's also ladrien??? I think??? It's super super angsty but they're both drunk the entirety of the fic so it's also really funny.
Pick-Up and Chase by also SKayLanphear
After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.
A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.
Chapters: 10/10
Adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, it doesn't say it in the tags but I'm pretty sure the characters are much older than they actually are in the show, so much fluff and so much flirting.
Pairing: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Nino Has Done Nothing To Deserve This by GuardianKarenTerrier (@guardiankarenterrier here in tumblr)
It's nothing, really- just an innocent comment, a joke. But when they hear it, Nino and Alya come to a realisation.
There were, in retrospect, dozens upon dozens of hints. Now that they're suddenly aware of all their friend's flimsy excuses and rushed explanations, they're not only sure how they've missed it, they're not sure how anyone else has either. They realise that it had to be magic protecting their friends- and that same magic has ceased to work on the two of them.
Well, this means they'll just have to start watching over their friends themselves.
Chapters: 7/7
This is more a found family fic than anything else, Alya and Nino are the mom friend, has light angst but it's mostly identity shenanigans in the most bizarre way. ❗TW: eating disorders❗
christmas lights by demistories
Nino checks up and down the street, checking to make sure there’s no raging akuma headed his way before he crosses quickly and ducks inside the small café. He closes the door quickly before the icy air can blow inside and tugs his beanie down over his ears. He spots Alya sitting alone in the corner.
Chapters: 1/1
Just fluff!! Really short but really sweet.
hold on, i still want you also by Missnoodles!
Written for the @thedjwifizine ! Wich I also recommend if you wanna binge a lot of djwifi fics while also looking at amazing art!!!
Five times Alya ran into her ex, and the one time he stopped being her ex.
Chapters: 1/1
Light angst with a happy ending! I don't really like the ex-lovers to lovers trope but this one is the only exception.
I will continue to expand the list in the future! But by now I hope I was helpful in the search of new fics!
2K notes · View notes
palbabor-writes · 3 years
Text
Practicum
Pairing: Shigaraki Tomura x Fem!Reader
Warnings: SMUT/18+ only, unbalanced/unhealthy relationships, student/teacher sex, tw.dubcon, tw.sub/dom dynamics, brat taming, fingering, masturbation, a table is pretty roughed up in this, so pls hold a brief moment of silence for it    
Words: 12,857
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“So, you just want me to read from the book?”
“Yes.”
“And...answer questions?”
“That’s what I said,” Shigaraki smirks, already reaching toward his bookshelf, tugging the heavy Intro to Biology text out and shifting it into his large hands.
You bite at your lip again and pass your gaze from his amused expression to the bland cover of the textbook, debating your next move, trying to walk yourself through all the ups and downs. It’s too simple; too easy. It’s not like him. He’s got something else in mind, why else would he fucking look like that? It’s not a bad look. No, it’s a look that makes your stomach flip and head spin.
“Stop being so suspicious,” Shigaraki scolds, drawing your wandering attention back to him. “I don’t bite, that is, unless you want me to.”
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Notes: the title was selected because it’s got the word cum in it. ahhh, the things that crack me up. anyhow. 
this is part of the BNHA Degeneracy server’s 9 to 5 collaboration! i had a ton of fun participating in this and thank you guys for making this so freaking awesome! special shoutout & thanks to @albinoburrito​ & @kugutsuu​ for their beta edits! this was a departure from what i usually write about and i appreciate all of your notes and help!  
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Practicum prac·ti·cum /ˈpraktəkəm/ noun a practical section of a course of study
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It’s your senior year, they said. Live a little, they advised. Stop and take a breather, you’re practically home free! Take some easier classes. Focus on what’s in front of you, it’ll be over before you know it! On and on and on. 
Spring semester is almost here. You’ve applied for graduation, the cap and gown ordered, and you have a shiny class ring sitting on your pinky. It’s in the bag. Just breeze through four more classes and you’re out. Well, it would be an easy shot, if you hadn’t put off this one class. 
It always popped up, so it’s not like you could plead ignorance. Your advisor warned you, each quarterly meeting, that you needed to get it out of the way. Take it seriously, he cautioned, clacking out his notes, typing down that you’d failed to heed his sage advice, again. If you wait too long, you’re not going to get the professor that you want.
That was the other problem. You’re a procrastination superstar. If there was some kinda award for putting off assignments, you’d have won it ten times over. You liked the heart pounding race to the deadline, the sleepy boasts that you’d tackled the project within hours of its due date. 
It’s a stupid habit. Every semester you promise yourself that you’ll do better. You won’t wait, you’ll tackle things one assignment at a time and turn them before the hard cut off at 11:59 pm. Who the fuck did you think you were kidding? Certainly not your friends, or your advisor. He could read you like a book. Hell, he’d even sent warnings. 
‘Don’t forget about the deadline for senior registration!’
‘You don’t want to be on a waitlist. You especially don’t want to take one of the harder professors. These are freshman level classes, they’re designed to flunk undergrads. Don’t forget (Y/N), chew them up and spit them out tactics are employed.’ 
But you had. You’d set an alarm on your phone, then neglected to give it a title, so you’d only chuckled and smacked the chirping into silence that morning, snoozing the all important deadline away. 
Fuck. 
Most of the classes for biology are wait-listed. No, scratch that, all the classes for Intro to Genetic Biology are wait-listed. You opt into the waitlist for all of them, just in case, and a week later your phone alerts you that one has an open seat. Actually, it has several open seats, too many open seats to be natural. However, you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, so for now, you’re enrolled in BIO 1208: Principles of Cell and Organismal Physiology - For Non-Science majors. 
Perfect.
Yeah, no. You’d looked up the professor, since the whole open seat thing was still giving you the heebie-jeebies, and your heart dropped. You’ve heard of him, most of the student body has. His classes are notoriously small. Not because the university limited them, or planned for smaller class sizes. No, his classes are tiny because he is infamous for failing students. 
Most, when they realize they’re scheduled for his bio classes, frantically drop, taking the withdrawal and praying for better luck next semester. Others, brave souls who think they can come out unscathed, attempt to grit their teeth and push through. But, by midterms, they’re war torn and haggard, shaking their heads and praying for a ‘C’, at best. Fewer still, pass.
This pedagogy isn’t a sign of good teaching; quite the opposite, in fact. You don’t want your student body failing. Yet, year after year, Professor Tomura Shigaraki keeps teaching the same Intro to Bio class. It boggles the mind, but you’ve never had to worry about it. Well, until now. 
When you’d received the notification that you’re enrolled in the B section and spied the name Shigaraki under the professor listing, you’d scarfed down your suddenly flavorless lunch and dashed up the steps to the student advising hall, praying there was some way you could wiggle your way out of this growing disaster.
“I’m pretty sure I told you to take it earlier and to take it in the fall when there are more freshman level classes available. I swear I said that to you. And, AND, I even sent you emails, several times if my sent inbox is to be believed, to NOT forget when senior registration ends.” 
Your advisor is peeved. You don’t blame him. He’s right, this is your fault, but there’s gotta be some kinda loophole. Something, fuck, anything, that can pull you from this mess. 
“I know, I know! I’m so sorry. You’re right. But, I mean, can’t I just hold off for another week? See if the waitlist clears?”
The man that you’ve known for four years, that’s seen you progress from freshman to senior, steeples his long fingers and purses his lips, likely debating on a tactful scolding, or a firm rebuttal. He takes a deep breath and you can’t help but sink into the soft cushioning of the chair, your nose wrinkled and brow furrowed, mentally preparing yourself for the worst.
“Do you know how many students we require to take BIO 1208?”
“No,” you gulp, nibbling on your lower lip nervously. 
“Over 7,000. Do you want to hear the statistics that would need to shake out in your favor for you to miraculously avoid taking this specific class? Nothing is going to open for you, it is this class, or no class.”
You sigh, and your advisor nods, pushing his horn-rimmed glasses up his nose. “Well then, I suggest you brush up on your study skills. Find a classmate that you can compare notes with, join a study group, go to the student union and ask for a tutor. I would hate to see you back here for the summer semester. You’re scheduled to walk the stage this spring and you’ve worked hard for this, so don’t fuck it up, okay?”
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You’ve attended this university for four years, but the first day of term always gives you the jitters. It doesn’t matter that you know your way around, or that you know ten professors by name, and bump into several friends on the way to your next building, you’re always buried in your phone, checking and double checking the next class’ room number. 
Despite all that caution, you’re lost.
In your defense, it’s your first time stepping foot in the Graduate & Research building and the whole concrete block is a fucking maze. There must be a basement because the numbers don’t match up with the floors and they seem to jumble further every time you round a corner. Like what the hell? How can this next room be GR 3.03.05 when this is clearly only the second floor and GR 2.03.11 was right down that other hallway?
Exasperated, you lean against the nearest wall and tug your phone out again. Shit. Class started ten minutes ago. 
Part of you wants to call it a day, end the search here and try again on Wednesday. Maybe take a few extra minutes to scout out the building next time and have some idea of where you’re going before the start of class. 
Ugh, why is this so stressful? 
It’s the first day of classes. Surely Professor Shigaraki won’t mind if you’re a few minutes late; besides, if you’re lost, others must be too. 
You tuck your phone back into your pocket and resume the hunt. Two hallway turns later, you find your mark.
Your hand pauses beside the heavy wood, and you take a steadying breath. Again, why are you so nervous? Just go in and take a seat, it’s easy, stop freaking out over nothing. 
The door groans open, hinges protesting the sharp push, and you stumble into a darkened room. The low glow of the projector doesn’t help your blurry vision. Ah, shit, it’s one of those older rooms, so it’s built like a bad movie theater. Oh well, better get to a seat before he spots you. 
Swiftly, you make your way toward the raised steps of the aisle and the second row of chairs, plopping into the first one you reach that’s empty. You’re too busy fiddling with the zipper of your backpack to notice that the speaker has stopped his rasping preamble, but as you pull your laptop out the ominous weight of that heavy silence hits you and you toss a hooded stare toward the front of the lecture hall. 
Immediately, your eyes land on the professor’s and you feel a low shiver shake up your spine. 
He’s watching you. 
The gleam of the overhead projector makes his red eyes flash, and he openly scowls at your gaping expression, his lips curling into a dark sneer.
“Well, thank you for joining us, Miss…?”
He’s waiting for your response and you squeak out your last name, mindlessly rubbing your moistening palms against your thin skirt. 
“Ah, Ms. (L/N). Now that you’ve graced the class with your belated presence, may I continue?”
“Uh,” you gasp out, your mouth dry, tongue sticking to your teeth, “I’m sorry. I got–”
“I didn’t ask for an explanation, or in your case, an excuse. Or are you now attempting to disrupt this class purposefully?”
“Wha– I-I’m–” your words stumble to a halt, voice failing under the intense glare that he’s giving you. “No,” you finish lamely, ducking your head, nails digging into your sweaty palms. 
“Thank you. Do me a favor, stay after class.” His voice is gravel, threatening and low. You don’t like the edge in his tone. It makes your skin prickle and your knees knock. He sounds like the kind of guy that you don’t want to run into in a dark alleyway, or a classroom, for that matter. Even so, it’s not your fault, and despite your feelings of unease, you can’t tamp down your need to protest his unreasonableness. 
“But, professor, I didn’t mean to–”
“If I need to repeat my insistence for silence, I’ll make things easier on both of us and fail you now.”
Stunned and fuming, you bite your tongue and lean back into your chair, crossing your arms and blinking back mounting tears of frustration. Great, just great. It’s the first fucking day of class and it looks like you’re already on his shit list. And for what? For being late on fucking syllabus day! What an ass. 
You look over at him as you defiantly finish setting up your computer, hoping each pull of a zipper or screen reboot will grate under his stuck up skin. He’s not inordinately tall, or old. In fact, he looks like he might only be in early 30s. He has long white hair that’s pulled back into a low ponytail and, from what you can make out in the dim lighting, some kinda skin condition on his forehead. That, or he’s prematurely wrinkled, and let’s be honest, if he’s gone through life with that big of a stick up his ass, he deserves each and every pull on that mottled skin of his. 
You linger in your seat when class is over, lips pulled into a thin line and legs crossed. Finally, when the last student has left the room, professor Shigaraki flips a switch beside his elevated podium, filling the lecture hall with a sharp, fluorescent light. He pauses by his raised computer system and clicks off the overhead projector, blanketing the massive room in an uncomfortable silence. 
“Since you missed the part of class where I go over the syllabus, I’ll give you a brief rundown. Under no circumstances will I tolerate tardiness. If you do it once more I’ll mark you absent and three absences knock you down a full letter grade.”
Glumly, you cross your arms and peer up at him, finally able to get a good look at his face. Your first observation was correct. His skin is sharper around his forehead, but his wavy white hair does a pretty decent job of covering up the imperfections. He has two scars: one nicks across his right eye and the other splits down his rough lips, parting the skin and granting him an even more foreboding appearance than his already gruff demeanor does. He’s dressed in a dark pair of jeans and he’s wearing a low slung v neck shirt. It’s a brilliant red and it brings out that otherworldly glint of his red eyes. Shit, you think bitterly, while he’s not conventionally handsome, he’s not exactly hard on the eyes either. 
You shake your head against these unproductive musings and curtly snap out a clipped, ok.
“What was that?” Shigaraki scoffs, tilting his head at your sullen figure. “Speak up.”
“I said,” you bristle, eyes narrowing and chin lifting, “Okay, I apologize for interrupting your lecture, it won’t happen again. But, in my defense, if I’m allowed to do that in this class, I’ve never been in this building before, and it’s not like–”
“You’re a senior, right?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Then you’ve had four years to figure out the layout of this university. The excuse of ‘being lost,’ isn’t an option for you. You know the buildings and you’re fully capable of turning up early to sort out the rooms.”
You let out a long sigh and look away, mumbling vague protests. This guy is ridiculous. You’re not a science major and it’s not your job to know the ins and outs of each building. How fucking stupid. Who does he think he–
“Speak up. I won’t ask you again.”
You bite your lip and look back at him but he’s moved in that distracted moment, silently stepping down from his raised platform and is now leaning over the first row of chairs, looming over you. You can’t help your sudden flinch as you sink further into your chair, away from him.
“If you’re gonna complain, Ms. (L/N), I’d much rather hear it. Don’t you think It’s rude for you to mutter under your breath about me? You don’t see me doing that to you.”
“Fine,” you blurt out, turning away from his insistent, and all too close, gaze. “I was saying that I’m not a science major. I get that I’m a senior, but you can’t seriously expect me to know every nook and cranny of this campus.”
“No, but I can ask for you to be a little more thoughtful. I put time and effort into my lessons and I won’t have you undermining them by bouncing in here with those legs and that flouncy little skirt.”
You’re about to counter his little haughty speech on politeness when you finally process that final comment he’d breathed out. Flabbergasted, you raise your head back to his, but he’s already moving away, snatching up his shoulder bag and waving you a curt goodbye as he presses open the squeaky door. “Next class is at 10 am sharp, so be on time Ms. (L/N).”
You’re still slumped in your seat when the door glides shut again, your eyes wide and jaw no doubt comically unhinged. 
Wait. Did…did he really just say that?
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Obviously, for the next class, you’re early. You’re so early that you’re the first one in the lecture hall. You select a seat toward the back and fiddle with your computer, checking your messages, adjusting your brightness, replying to old emails, anything to keep your head down and attention occupied. 
The door opens and, despite your best efforts, your head flies up, expectant and tense, ready to meet those red eyes of his head on, to show him you’re here and he better… oh. It’s not him. It’s two chattering freshmen. One of them gives you a quick smile, but they both quickly take their seats, a few rows over, and continue their soft conversation, leaving you to fall back onto your earlier distraction tactics. You twiddle with your phone and shoot off a few texts, change your wallpaper, accidentally close an app you meant to leave open, and then the lecture hall door reopens.
He steps in slowly, completely ignoring you and the other scattered students, opting to sort out a few papers and set up his login on the school computer. The minutes tick by and you can’t seem to jerk your eyes away from him, suddenly fascinated by his languid movements. He looks more relaxed than he did on Monday, looser and fluid, completely in his element. True to his word, at ten am on the dot he begins class. 
Professor Shigaraki has an interesting voice. It’s low, calculated, bordering on a rasp. It’s one of those tones that makes you want to lean forward and listen up, even though he’s only discussing cellular biology. Which isn’t exactly the sexiest topic for that shockingly dulcet timbre of his. 
Wait. Sexy? 
Your pen falters against your notebook, and your eyes drift up to his frame. He’s switched the lights off again and the shine of the overhead projector is the only illumination in the hall. His white hair gleams in the dim lighting and his long hands animatedly illustrate his points, elegant fingers opening and closing, gesticulating about the intricate nature of the human genome. You’re so focused on watching his movements that your elbow partner has to push the slip of paper onto your collapsible desktop. You blink at the sheet, your pen nearly clattering from your hand, and you twist to peer at the unfamiliar student beside you. 
“It’s the attendance sheet and, um, I think you’re the last one,” they whisper, careful to lean away after they finish their explanation, not wanting to draw professor Shigaraki’s ire. You maneuver the paper under your pen and scribble down your name, biting your lip and silently berating yourself for your poor selection in seating. Great, now you’ll have to take the paper down to him after class. What if he talks with you again? Shit. 
At 11:25, class ends. You collect your things and plod down the steps, the attendance sheet clutched between your fingers. He’s just snapping the projector light off when you reach his podium. 
“I, uhh, have the attendance. You want me to just leave it here, or…”
“I’ll take it,” his hand is extended toward you and those red eyes are fixed on you now. It’s not the same disgruntled stare he’d given you on Monday. No, this look is a little more curious. Again, you’re taken aback by your reaction to him. He’s not even saying anything, just patiently waiting for you to deposit the sheet into his open palm, but there’s something about him that’s making your heart race. 
Maybe it’s those eyes of his. 
They are an unusual color and they have a strange intensity to them. Right as they narrow, the vermillion shining under the sharp lights; you press the paper to him and he pulls it from you, studying the names that are listed. 
You want to say something. Maybe toss him a quick, friendly, goodbye. Or apologize for the other day? Ugh. What can you even say? ‘Gosh, so glad I was on time today! All that fascinating information about the genetic code! So glad to be here!’ No, that sounds stupid and a little patronizing. Besides, why do you want to talk with him at all? He’s an ass, remember?
“Did you need something?”
His question snaps you out of your stupor and you numbly shake your head at him, already lowering your gaze, but his exhaled chuckle makes you pause, your fingers curling around your backpack straps.  
“I know I upset you the other day, but I appreciate you taking the effort to correct your mistake.” 
“Oh,” you breathe, your eyes finding their way back to his. “Yeah, well, like you said, I’m a senior. Gotta take responsibility for myself someday.”
“Ah,” he smirks, that long scar on his lip quirking upward. “Seems like you’ve got some determination after all. You might be more interesting than I gave you credit for.”
“God,” you scoff, popping out a hip and crossing your arms at the bemused leer on his face. “Just come right out and say you think I’m a bad student, why don’t you?”
“Don’t worry,” he amends, tucking the attendance sheet into his shoulder bag and snapping the clasps closed. “There’s plenty of time for you to end up right back at square one with me.”
He’s already halfway out the door by the time you right yourself from the shock of his last comment and you follow him, a string of low curses falling from your lips. 
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The spring semester always flies by, and before you realize it, a full month has bled away. You’ve kept that same seat in Shigaraki’s class and at the end of each session you head down to his little platform, attendance sheet outstretched. Each day of class has a different ebb and flow. Sometimes he chats with you and it’s gotten easier to talk with him, both of your eyes holding and lingering, lips raised into calculating smiles. Sometimes it almost feels like he’s flirting with you. Other days he only spares you a curt nod, his white hair curtaining his expression from your curious gaze. You’re not bothered by these silences, not when you’ve got your secret weapon. 
The days that you like best, the ones that you plan, sorting through your closet until you’ve found the perfect choice, are the days when you wear one of your skirts. You’d even gone on some skirt shopping sprees as of late. On those days he doesn’t just make some sort of fleeting eye contact with you, no, on those days he stares. 
At first, you’d tested out your theory, staggering your outfits, careful to not screw up your suspicions with a hasty miscalculation, but as they say, the third time’s the charm. How did he expect you not to notice? He never bothers to hide those sharp ogles and recently you’ve made a point of dramatically gathering your things when you wear these cute little ensembles, bopping down the steps so his eyes have to work to follow the line of your hips and the long paths of your bare legs. One rainy afternoon you’d worn over the knee stockings, that came to an abrupt halt over the plush skin of your upper thigh, under your mini skirt and he’d practically leapt over the podium to grab the sheet from you, his eyes hooded and dark, almost wild.
“Test, on Friday,” he warns, eyes finally rising to meet your bemused expression. “Don’t stay out too late tonight.”
“What makes you say that?” you ask, brushing at a rogue fold in your skirt, luring him back to your legs. 
He scoffs at you, that jagged scar arching into a smirk. “Humph. You’re dressed up. Most of the students just wear the sweats, or pjs, and call it a day.” 
“I like to put a little effort in all that I do,” you retort, grinning up at his vermillion stare. 
“Yes, so I’ve noticed. You certainly look the part…and you’re keeping up with the workload of this course.”
“Ahhh,” you crow, clapping your hands excitedly. “Are you saying I might get an ‘A’ in this class? Be the first time someone’s done that in a while, from what I’ve heard around campus.”
Shigaraki sneers and tuts out an inaudible reply, leaning a little closer to you, making you inadvertently fall back a step. “Don’t push your luck.”
“Awe,” you pout, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m doing ok on all the quizzes and the classwork.”
“So far,” he taunts, his pearlescent hair falling over his broad shoulder.
“Tch. Don’t be like that. I’ve been studying.”
“Sometimes it takes more than that.”
“Oh?” you smile, raising your chin. “What else should I be doing, professor?”
“We’ll know that after Friday, won’t we?”
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God. 
You’d felt so confident when you’d turned in your test and that stupid, horrible, sexy little quirk of his lip scar that he sends you, when you’d handed him your papers, carries you on some strange, half aroused cloud all weekend. Maybe, just maybe, this class won’t be so bad after all.
The tests are handed back the following Friday, passed from row to row so everyone can fish out their papers and marked Scantrons. Yours, since you still occupy that final seat on the back row, is the last. Biting back a grin, you flip it over, so ready to see that A, that grade that you worked so fucking hard for, that… wait.
The gross flash of red across the top of your paper leaves you reeling, your breath catching against the back of your throat. It’s not a terrible grade, well, it wouldn’t be, but there are only three tests in this class, so it’s going to plummet you down to a B. One more fuck up will leave you with a C, or worse, an automatic failing grade. 
No. No, no, no, no. 
You can’t afford a bad grade, you honestly can’t even let yourself slip to a B. Your fucking cap and gown have just come in and with them that cord that you can wear around your neck at graduation. The one that marks you as honors cum laude. Fuck. You’re already pulling one B, in one of your other classes, because you’ve been focusing so much time and effort on this one. Another B will strip that cord from you, leaving you barren, with a less than ideal GPA. 
God fucking damn it.
You glare up at Shigaraki, who’s busy taking the rest of the class through a review of genetic mutations, but you can’t hear him anymore, too incensed, too overwhelmed to even care about what he’s saying. The test crumples under your fingertips, the paper shaking in your hands, and you seethe, your teeth biting your lower lip to pieces. 
It’s not fair. You’d paid attention. You’ve taken all the notes. Read all the chapters. Drilled and studied till your eyes had drooped, heavy with exhaustion. You’ve done it all right. Plus, he’d been so fucking flirty, so open with you. You’ve never chatted with a professor this way, never gone out of your way to wear clothes they like, that make them watch you, their eyes hungry pinpricks as you walk to them, mindful of the luscious sway of your hips. 
No. Fuck him. Fuck this class.
Before your elbow classmate can leave, you ask for them to hand in the attendance sheet. You barely hear their response, too busy slamming your laptop into your backpack. As you storm past the podium, you can feel his eyes on you. The distant sensation of his gaze makes your flesh prickle, but you ignore your involuntary reaction and shove your way out the door. 
“(Y/N), you can’t switch classes this late. It’s almost midterms. Besides, I don’t think anything has opened up and if you’re going to drop it, you’ve gotta get the signature of the professor,” your advisor tells you, blinking at your stony expression over his thick glasses. “I don’t get it. Why do you want to drop it? Your grades are alright and it’s just one test. You can always try–”
“Gimme the paperwork.”
Shigaraki’s office is on the top floor of the research building, tucked away down another winding and weaving hallway that once again requires your careful inspection to navigate. When you finally hit the right set of doors, you slowly make your way forward, counting the numbers up as you pass. His door is wide open, a yawning cavern that’s filled with the distant light of a lamp. You brush a hand down your skirt, smoothing away any wrinkles and steadying your nerves. 
You’d tossed on the skirt this morning, before you’d gotten the grade, and you hadn’t thought to go home and change, too consumed by that simmering rage bubbling within you. And now, like this fucking class, this skirt felt like a mistake, something stupid and vapid that you wished you had time to change out of. He’d told you he liked your attire, liked that you put effort into your outfits. At the time, you’d been so thrilled and excited that he’d complimented you, but now you wish you were confronting him in baggy jeans or lazy sweats, anything that would turn that avid gaze of his away from you. 
Lost in thought, you waver beside his open door, nibbling on your lips and tugging at your clothes. It’s now or never. No point in putting it off. What’s the worst that can happen? What can he do now? Or, a darker side of you whispers, what do you want him to do to you? What? That’s a stupid thought, you scold yourself, lifting a hand to the wall and rapping against the beige paint, announcing your presence. 
When the sound fades away, swallowed up by the empty and darkened hallway, you poke your head around the corner, searching for him. His head is tilted quizzically, and he blinks twice when he spots you, that all too familiar smirk lifting his lips. 
“Ah, Ms. (L/N), what can I do for you?”
His voice is softer than usual and your name sounds like honey, his tone resting on the syllables and consonants for a beat, almost as if he’s savoring their lift, their sound. You can’t help but swallow heavily at his appraisal. Suddenly this may be a terrible idea. 
Ugh. Get a grip (Y/N). 
“I-I need you to sign this withdrawal paperwork,” you finally reply, digging in your bag and tugging out the thin leaflet, holding it out to him. He’s silent after your demand, meditatively threading his fingers and peering up at you, his red eyes bright. 
“Step inside and shut the door behind you,” he instructs, his gaze never falling from yours. Despite the simplicity of his request, you can’t help but bristle at his imperious tone. Why does he always have to sound like that? Like he’s seconds away from taking control of the situation, or of you? He’s always one stupid step ahead, and no doubt he’s going to try and talk you down. Or, he’ll sign it and say that he always knew you were a screw up, someone who only did things halfway, who could never match up to his lofty expectations. Humph, the sooner you’re outta here and out of his class, the better. So, you obey, closing the door and petulantly flopping into the unsteady chair that sits in front of his low desk. 
He maintains that uneasy quiet, his red eyes whisking over your disgruntled face, waiting, watching. Unable to take this strange standoff, you push the university paperwork toward him, sliding it as close as you dare to his bent elbows. “I would like to withdraw from your class,” you repeat, lips setting into a thin line. 
“Why?” he asks, cocking his head so his loose white hair falls a little further down his rough brow. 
“Something came up.”
“Hmm, I can try to work with a new schedule, if it’s your job, or home life,” he counters, eyes narrowing as he sharpens his observations of your brittle expression. 
“It’s not that,” you smart, crossing your arms. Great, he’s going to make this difficult. 
“Then I suggest you tell me what’s on your mind,” Shigaraki replies, mirroring your movements and leaning back in his chair. 
“I don’t think this class is working out for me.”
He exhales a soft laugh at your lie, and you watch that tiny mole at the edge of his chin lift in his quiet mirth. “This is a freshman level course and you’re a senior. You’re in my class because it’s likely the last pre-rec that you need to take before you graduate.”
“Um, yeah. But–”
“And now, you’re wanting to drop it because of one poor grade.”
You grind your teeth and fix him with a stark glower. “I–”
“There will be two other tests. If you read your syllabus, you’d know this.”
“I read the syllabus. Your tests are worth a stupid amount of points and it only takes one of them to tank my grade.”
“Frankly, you did better than most of the class. You only need to work on practical application. I said that the written portion would be a major component of the exam. I also provided you with a review and a rubric. So I’m not sure–”
“Your grade drops me to a ‘B’, and that ‘B’ pulls me from the honors list. And… well… I thought that…”
“Oh? What did you think?” he presses, his voice suddenly dropping to that lower octave it had drifted into when he said your last name. 
“I thought I’d get a better grade,” you spit out, turning your head and biting at your lip again. 
“Why?” he counters simply. His obtuseness is making your blood boil.
“What do you mean, why?” It takes all of your will to not slip a ‘jackass’ into that question. 
“It’s not a hard thing to answer. I graded you fairly and according to my rubric. Why exactly do you feel you merit a different grade than the one you earned?”
You fall into a frustrated silence. You can hear your heart pounding against your ribs and you want to scream at him, to leap over his desk and shake him until his teeth fucking rattle. Your shoulders are rising and lowering disjointedly and his vermillion eyes are honed in on your face, shifting over your pinched expression with a distant interest. You can feel tears pricking at your eyes and you hastily rub a fist over them, brushing away any rogue drops of moisture.
“How can you ask me that? You think I didn’t notice you staring at my legs? Or that you always had something to say to me when I was wearing a skirt? What was I supposed to think, huh? I fucking thought shit like that was gonna help, ok? God, I’m so stupid. I can’t… fuck.” 
Shigaraki arches forward when you finish, a deep sigh leaching through his parted lips. His teeth snap together when you look up at him, your eyes gaining back some of that earlier defiance, and he gives you a quick grin, clearly pleased by your shift in attitude and pushes your paper aside, fixing you with a dark look. “Here’s a thought, since you feel you’re so different, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll give you a chance to make up the score.”
“I don’t care about the score anymore. I wanna drop your class,” you snap, but it’s a halfhearted barb. Something has changed in his demeanor. He’s dropped the concerned professor act and is leaning so close you can hear his steady intakes of air. He’s only a few inches away; if you want, you could touch him.
“I doubt you want to attend a class in the summer. Besides, they won’t let you walk if you haven’t finished your freshman level courses. And you can’t tell me you don’t want to graduate, to earn that cord that lets you into the honor cum laude. So stop pouting and hear me out. I think you’ll like what I have in mind.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever like anything about you,” your voice is sharper than you mean it to be, but the challenge makes Shigaraki smile. As it crosses his cracked lips, it pulls that scar up and it makes those eyes of his glow. He looks like the cat that’s got the cream and you’re not sure how to respond, so you cross your legs and wait for him to make the next move. 
“You sure about that? Well, I’ll have to change your tune then, won’t I? But that can wait, lemme tell you what my requirements are. I’ve got a copy of the textbook in here. I’ll have you review some of the major concepts, you’ll read the passages aloud so I’m sure you’re on the right track, you’ll hand the book back to me, and then I’ll verbally quiz you over the material. If you answer them correctly, I’ll bump you to an ‘A’ on your test.”
You have to actively work to keep your mouth closed. “So, you just want me to read from the book?”
“Yes.”
“And… answer questions?”
“That’s what I said,” Shigaraki smirks, already reaching toward his bookshelf, tugging the heavy Intro to Biology text out and shifting it into his large hands. 
You bite at your lip again and pass your gaze from his amused expression to the bland cover of the textbook, debating your next move, trying to walk yourself through all the ups and downs. It’s too simple; too easy. It’s not like him. He’s got something else in mind, why else would he fucking look like that? It’s not a bad look. No, it’s a look that makes your stomach flip and head spin. 
“Stop being so suspicious,” Shigaraki scolds, drawing your wandering attention back to him. “I don’t bite, that is, unless you want me to.”
Your eyes boggle and you have to clench your thighs tighter, your stomach churning, you feel light-headed and you can feel your core fluttering with your sudden arousal. “Wh-what did you just say?”
“Stop gaping at me like that, you’ll make me blush. Now come on.”
Your jaw snaps closed and you shake your head, trying to clear your mind from your whirling emotions. He takes this reaction as a surrender and stands, stepping toward a marred table that rests a little ways away from his desk. He licks his thumb pad and flips through a few pages before finally settling on an appealing section. Once he places it on the table, he twists back to you and crooks a finger your way. “Come here,” he orders, his voice deep and languid. Obediently, you rise on unsteady feet, hands tugging at the length of your skirt, careful to keep it pressed down as you walk toward him. 
He makes space for you to stand in front of the book and shifts back, one hand resting on the table, propping him close to your bent figure. You look up at him, but he only nods his head toward the table, a wicked smile curling the corners of his lips. Blink a few times but finally, the words clear and you can see the block of text that’s in front of you. It’s passages on DNA encodes and RNA proteins, hefty stuff, things that you had to make flash cards for. This isn’t going to be easy. If anything, he’s picked some of the harder concepts, the ones that take steady knowledge in the foundations. Flustered, you look back to him, but he’s moved. He’s leaning against the wide window beside the table, a dark mark against the glass.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, a laugh bubbling in his tone.
“There’s no way…” you stammer, shaking your head at him. 
“Want me to throw a curve in?”
“I should ask what kinda curve, but knowing you, it’s likely gonna be something terrible.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” he rumbles, stepping away from the window and leaning close to your stiff form. “It just takes an open mind and some enthusiasm on your part.”
“Enthusiasm?” you question, trying your best to withstand his closeness. You can feel the heat radiating off of his broad shoulder and if you tilt a little nearer, you could graze against him, or feel his breath on your skin. 
“You’re right,” he amends, his forearm contacting your side. You startle at the touch, a gasp falling from your lips, but you don’t pull away and you can’t stop staring up at him, your eyes wide. “Obedience is a better word. From here on out, whatever I tell you to do, I expect you to obey it, although it’s not exactly, ah, school approved.”
“You want me to suck you off or something?” you sneer, hoping to stumble him off his guard, even if it’s only for an instant. Too bad he’s always one step ahead. 
“Don’t be vulgar. Think outside of the box, (Y/N). Do you think I’m going to go for something so short sighted when I could have you bending to my will? Obeying every little demand that I make? I’d much rather see if that skin of yours tastes as good as it looks, then simply have you on your knees. No, I want you to fucking scream for me while I stuff you full of my cock. But first, you need to put in some work. You should know that by now.”
Oxygen is suddenly very hard to come by and you can feel your mind hazing over as you stammer up at him, your mind flitting from word to word disjointedly. Shigaraki grants you a wolfish grin, and he dips his lips beside your ear, whispering over those tiny hairs that rest against your tender skin. “I’ll make this part easy. Nod and I’ll give you the first set of instructions.” 
What did he say? Nod? What happens when you nod? Fuck, why are you letting him do this? Is your grade really worth it? Are you that desperate that… that… 
Shigaraki is whispering other promises over you as you war with yourself, speaking his words gently, slowly, his breath hot as it fans over your neck. It’s like you’ve fallen under some kinda spell and before you realize it, your traitorous head is bobbing up and down, letting him know you want him to keep going.
“Perfect,” he sighs, his lips grazing over the shell of your ear, jerking a shiver from you. “Now, lean forward and put your hands against the table.” 
You do as he says, but he’s not satisfied with your positioning, his fingers wrapping around your wrists and yanking you forward, jutting your ass out and pressing your chest down, maneuvering you until your nose is right above the pages of the textbook. “There we go,” he rasps, pulling away so he can admire your splayed form. “Hmm, your legs are too close together. Spread them.” Knees trembling, you obey, gasping when he runs a palm against the curve of your thighs.
“You’ve got such nice legs (Y/N), so let’s put them on display, shall we?” His fingers search against the top of your skirt and they still when he reaches his prize: the zipper. When he pulls it down, you let out a sharp squeak of protestation but he silences you with a swift pinch to your side. 
“Now, now, don’t be like that. You nodded, remember? Besides, you could have left when I told you I’d give you a curve but you couldn’t help yourself could you? You want me to keep going and to do that, I need you to take this skirt off. No, don’t move. I’ll get rid of it for you. Why don’t you focus on the task at hand, hmm? Aren’t you supposed to be reading for me?”
You arch away from his fingers and he chuckles at your impudence, one large hand hooking under your chin and pulling you toward his face. His red eyes blaze as they find yours, the dark pupils threatening to swallow up that deep vermillion. “Let’s start with the second paragraph. If you do well, I might grant you a reprieve.” 
Jerking your face from his grip, you twist back to the text, trying, and failing, to ignore his inquisitive fingers, unable to resist sighing as he works one up your inner thigh. He pauses when no words fall from your lips and you grumble out a few low curses before acquiescing to his silent demand. 
“The flow of genetic information in cells from DNA to mRNA to protein is described by the Central Dogma, which states that genes specify the sequence of mRNAs, which specify the sequence of proteins. The decoding of one molecule… the… the… molecule… by spec-specific…”
He’s slipped your skirt down over the swell of your ass, but he’s taking his time, flexing out the front of the material and dipping his fingers over the bump of your lower stomach, kneading into the delicate flesh that’s stretched out for him. You can’t help the twitch of your spine and you involuntarily wiggle, palms slipping forward, dragging you further along the tabletop. Shigaraki chuckles above you, running his rough lips over the back of your neck.
“You’re so sensitive. I’ve barely touched you.” 
He circles his hands back to your skirt and edges it along, lowering it sharply on one side and then giving the same treatment to the other. You’re doing your best to keep up with your stammering readings, but it’s difficult when he keeps sighing and running his long nails across your newly bared skin. Finally, he works the skirt down and it thumps against your bare ankles; the fabric tickling your skin. 
Meanwhile, his other fingers skitter against the elastic band of your rapidly dampening panties. Once he hooks the lace under his hand, he yanks them along your legs, trailing them sinfully slowly, ensuring that they glide down the billow of your thighs. His teeth nip at your ear when you stumble to a halt in your recitation and your hands tense over the grains of wood beneath them, your nails pinching into your palms. “If you stop, I stop,” he warns, his head bumping against yours, his sharp nose pressing against your pulse.
“You’re not exactly making this easy,” you grumble, doing your best to ignore his renewed pets and strokes. 
“Stop complaining,” he smirks, leaning away from your head to peer at your newly exposed flesh. “You better pay attention to what you’re reading or you’re not going to pass the questions I’ll be asking you.”
“Yeah, yeah, ow!” you squawk, whipping your head around to glare up at him. He fucking pinched you again! This time, he’d slipped his hand between your spread legs and tweaked your inner thigh, painfully. 
“Read,” he repeats, running those guilty fingers upward, lingering beside the heat of your cunt, careful to not get too close. When you start on the next sentence, one of his hands tugs up the fabric of your shirt, snaking upward until he’s thumbing against the wire of your bra. Once again, you falter to a halt and exhale a wavering breath. 
Goddamn it. This review is no review. You’ll be lucky if you can even recall what a cell is if he keeps this up. You hear his ominous intake of air and quickly resume your recitation, mumbling something about RNA and mRNA differences. 
Wait. Didn’t you just…  
“Looks like you’re having trouble listening to me. I told you to read aloud, not to repeat the same passages over and over.”
“Hey, at least I’ll have a firm grasp on those. You should ask me something about that s-section… ah–”
The hand that was resting under the cup of your bra has made its way underneath the lightly padded material, and his thumb and index fingers have trapped your peaked nipple between them. As soon as your snarky comment left your mouth, he’d twisted the bud, squeezing it until it throbbed. 
“Pay attention,” he commands, shoving your bra upward, freeing the globes of your breasts and cupping both of his broad hands under them. Your abused nipple stings and the mixture of sharp pain and jarring arousal goes right through you, stoking that coil that pulsed within your core, and sending a tacky flush of your essence down your spread thighs.
The next few words are a struggle. The text keeps blurring and your breaths are coming in fast and heavy. Shigaraki is still feeling you up, keeping his lips close to your ears, rasping sharp commands to you and dealing out lightning fast rounds of pinches and squeezes each time you falter. 
“I–I can’t… I don’t even know what I’m reading anymore,” you bemoan, your hips pressing against the edge of the table, legs trembling as you attempt to keep them apart. He’s deliberately ignoring your throbbing clit and a desperate edge is creeping into your voice. 
“Are you always this whiny? Fine. I’ll give you a moment to read without any distractions.”
Thank God.
True to his word, he slips away from your back and you’re left shivering against his sudden absence. Despite your quaking, you’re determined to make the most of this chance and you quickly read out the paragraphs that are on the second page. As you ramble down to the last bit of text, you realize you can’t hear him anymore and when you finish the last sentence; you start to really wonder where he’s drifted off to. A tense silence follows your completion of the material and you arch up on the tips of your toes, jutting your ass out and stretching the stiffened muscles of your lower back. 
“Didn’t say you could stop reading, and judging from all of your complaints, I don’t think you got some of those earlier concepts, so I’d suggest doing a quick review,” he taunts, the sudden rasp of his voice startling a low gasp from your lips. 
He’s close; somewhere behind you and to the left from the sound of it. You try to twist around, your chest lifting from the table, and when he notices, his hands return, creating a rough pressure against your neck as he forces your body back down. His weight plasters you to the surface, scraping your partially exposed stomach and tender breasts over the nicked wood. Shigaraki is merciless in his swift correction, his breath puffing out angrily behind you. “Didn’t say you could move, either.”
Stunned, you freeze. Your arms are arched awkwardly, but he keeps his weight against you, flattening your breasts and forcing your back to arch into an awkward bend. Fuck, you think, how are you supposed to stay like this? Your legs are already aching and if he shifts away again, he’s likely going to expect you to maintain this absurd pose.  
“Yes,” he groans, his voice catching against the word, “Good girl. Now, stay just like that.”
Damn it.
“Go on, read the first part again,” he instructs. 
“The entire genetic content of a cell is known as its genome and the study of genomes is gen-genomics. In eukaryotic cells, but… but not in p-prokaryotes, DNA forms a complex with histone proteins… with histone proteins… sub-substance… of…”
His teeth have latched onto your neck, and he’s sucking bruises into your tender skin. He’s still pinning you to the table, but his hands are widening their explorations. He’s started dragging a fingernail across the puffy folds of your cunt, teasing against the dripping and swollen flesh, chuckling when you buck against his hold. 
“You always seem to lose it when you get to cellular modulations.”  
“I–I–It’s not… I can’t help that you keep…” you whimper, your fingers curling under your palms, head shaking back and forth. You can’t think. He’s not being fucking fair, and you can’t even string your goddamn words together. Shit. “Y-you’re not being fair,” you accuse, falling on the only thing that keeps running through your mind, your splayed feet shifting uncomfortably under you.
“Not fair? Not once did I say fairness would come into this arrangement,” he lifts himself off of your back and leans beside you, one arm planted beside your crooked elbow. His fingers trace over the curve of your ass, cupping at the thickest part of you and squeezing. 
“But don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get a little satisfaction out of this arrangement. I bet you look good when you cum. And you’ve been working so hard to get my attention these last few months. So careful to do what I tell you. Looking at me with those big eyes of yours, all wide eyed every time I catch you looking at me. And don’t even get me started on your lips. You’re lucky I didn’t fucking bend you over after class, especially when you started wearing all of those cute little skirts for me. Ahhh, don’t moan like that, I won’t be able to help myself if you do. Let’s see how you’re doing, shall we?” 
Without warning, he slips his longest digit into your cunt, groaning loudly when he’s sucked into your welcoming heat. Your pussy, hungry for any kind of scrap, ripples around his intrusion, clamping and pulling, desperate for more. 
“Fuck,” he groans, his weight falling against your shoulder. “You’re soaking.” His elegant digit pushes deeper and you roll your hips under him, urging him closer, sighing when he sinks to the last knuckle. As he pulls his finger back, he adds another, swiftly v-ing the two before curving them together as they slip back out, dragging a steady line of pleasure from your quivering cunt. Shigaraki whispers another round of awed praise against your ear, his voice dark and breathless. 
A third digit is added on another trip out, and it creates a ragged sensation within you. It’s close to what you like, but he’s stretching you too far and it’s starting to hurt. He either needs to speed up, or give you a little more pressure. If you can hump your clit against the edge of the table, maybe it’ll give you the friction that you need. When you mindlessly buck your hips, your thighs threatening to lose that spread, he stops, holding his fingers inside you, laughing as you agitatedly try to shift him back into his earlier rhythm.
“So eager. I’d say you’re ready for my questions.”
“W-what?” you gasp, wholly focused on making him restart the push and pull of his fingers inside you. 
“I’ll start you off with something easy. What’s the cell membrane?”
“W-what? The cell… ah–” 
“Answer me. Now,” he grunts, leaning forward, re-steadying you as his fingers pull outward, dragging against your sensitive folds and schlicking through your arousal lewdly, loudly. You moan and your eyes roll back, completely ignoring his demand as you fall into the haze of pleasure that comes after his movements. 
His free hand travels up your neck and he tangles his fingers into the tendrils of your hair, yanking and jerking at the strands, demanding your attention.  
“I said, answer me.”
“Shigaraki–I–fuck. I can’t even… ugh… think right now!”
“Do you want the grade, or not?” he questions, his voice tense. “Answer correctly and I’ll give you what you want.” 
“I–I don’t think I can,” you whine, pressing your hips back as he thrusts his fingers forward again, curving them upward, searching for the spongy pad of nerves that rest against the front of your pelvis. 
“Oh? What happened to wanting that A? What about your graduation? You gonna let me fuck up your entire college career? I can do it, you know. I’ve done it to so many simpering freshmen. I fail kids left and right and you’re no different, (Y/N). 
The university lets me ahh–there it is! God, you’re so fucking wet. 
Where was I? The university can’t say no to me; they let me do what I want. I bring in too much money, too many tempting grants, and that’s all they really care about. So what’s it gonna be? Let me see that you can answer this basic crap and I’ll pass you. Or would you like for me to tie you down and force it outta you another way?”
He’s picked up the pace of his fingers as he rambles over you and a swift press against that newly discovered spot inside you has you falling to pieces in his hands, popping up onto your tiptoes and rutting yourself against the surface of the table. “O-ok, God, ok! Just–fucking repeat the goddamn question,” you pant, head slumping forward, forcing his fingers to tighten against your hair to hold you upright. 
“What is the cell membrane?” 
You wince your eyes closed, trying to rack your brain to focus on something other than the heavy pressure of the three fingers that are teasing their way across your dribbling pussy. He’s moving his presses with a lackadaisical, inconsistent rhythm now and it’s hard to fucking think. You can’t tell if his next thrust will be hard, or soft, or so rough that it’s bordering on that bittersweet line of pain. 
You shake your head, doing your best to ignore the mounting pressure that he’s building inside you and the ache of your neck and legs. Finally, after another sharp tap against that secret bunch of nerves at the front of your cunt, you latch onto a vague remembrance. 
“It… it’s a double layer of–of phospholipids that make a boundary between the cell and t-the surrounding… ugh… it controls the passage of materials.”
“Very good. Elaborate on the cellular wall.”
He’s unrelenting in his domineering treatment, twisting and frigging his fingers each time your breath hitches, and your arousal is leaking down your legs, making your skin stick and pull. It’s too much, you can’t! How can he even ask this? Words are falling from your lips incoherently, and all too soon you’re gasping out his name rather than reciting the answer. 
“Cellular–oh, fuck, Shi–Shigaraki–Please, keep–don’t stop! S-Shigaraki, God that… feels… ah–keep going!”
He ignores your request and pulls his fingers away, robbing you of that sweet pressure that he’s so carefully mounted within you. 
“I’ll count that one as incorrect. Your ‘A’ is swiftly becoming an ‘A’ minus, (Y/N)” he snarls, his teeth gritted, hands falling to the swell of your hips, wet fingers digging into your soft skin. 
“What? No! You didn’t give me enough… e-enough time! How can–can you expect me to answer that qui-quickly!”
“Let’s try another.” 
It hurts. That ache that he’s drawn out of you is starting to sting and throb and he’s being such a dick about it! You twist and grind under him, and he traps your disobedient hips against the rough siding of the table.
“I don’t–” you protest weakly, your legs trembling and chest heaving under his weight.  
“Do you want this? Wouldn’t you like to pass this class? To graduate with honors?” he growls, leaning closer, his hands braced against you, his fingers no doubt leaving bruises on the supple crest of your hips. 
“You’re such an ass! Yes! Fuck, please! I–I want it so fucking bad!” you cry out, your voice drifting into a sob as you croak out the last plea.
“Then answer another question. What’s diffusion?”
“D-diffu-diffusion is the process by which molecules move from an a-area of… of… fuck- of high concentration, to low concentration. Shigaraki!”
“I should count that as another miss, but you got the major concept correct.” He removes his fingers from your waist and yanks your ass toward him, keeping your overeager hips away from the fleeting relief of the sturdy table. “Pop your legs together,” he commands, one hand wrapping around your arched throat, squeezing until you obey. His other hand drops to that thatch of curls that rest between your quivering thighs and he gathers up your gossamer strands, rubbing against your clit for one hazy instant, sending a flash of spots across your vision.
“Mmm, now that’s a pretty sight. Good girl, don’t move,” he reminds you and you want to scream at him. Right before you can spit some frustrated vitriol out, he’s releasing your neck, his hands dropping from your skin and letting you fall back to the uneven surface below. Just before your chin contacts the wood, his hand is back in your hair, tugging you upward, holding you a few inches above the table. The sharp pain makes your scalp tingle and you unconsciously rut against the tempting heat that’s now plastered to your ass. He’s hard. You can feel the stiff bulge of his cock straining against the front of his dark jeans, pressing into the cleft of your posterior. 
“T-that’ can’t be comfortable,” you pant, twisting your head so you can look up at him from the curve of your shoulder.
“Oh? You worried about my cock?” he asks, his red eyes flashing down at you challengingly. You don’t bother giving him a verbal response, opting instead to grind your ass up, catching against the jut of his length, earning yourself a low groan. His lips curl when you repeat the motion and you realize you love watching that smug face of his drift into a look of tense pleasure. It makes his scar on his lip flush and those red eyes of his fall to a lazy half mast. He spies your arched brow and pleased grin and pushes himself off of you, leaving you alone and open on the table.   
“Keep pushing your luck. I’m more than happy to drop you back to a B.”
“What?” you scoff, teeth clinking together as you clench your jaw. “I didn’t move!”
“No, but you’re trying to take control of this and we can’t have that can we?” Shigaraki sneers. “Now, how shall I punish you?”
“P-punish me?” you stammer, a chill racing down your spine. 
“Ah, I know. This’ll really piss you off,” he twists from your strained gaze and walks back toward his desk. What? What the fuck does he mean? You can’t see him from this angle, not with the way your legs are stretched and back is lowered, but it doesn’t stop you from trying, your chin lifting upwards as you do your best to keep him in focus. 
Ugh. It’s no use. He’s slipped past your field of vision. 
Hearing is likely your best bet, so you shift your forehead back to the table and listen, straining your ears to pick up any morsel. Something opens and closes and you catch the sound of the wheels of his chair as they shift, squeaking across the floor, and the groaning of the springs when his weight is applied to the cheap leather. 
Okay, so he’s in his chair. Is he just gonna look at you? That’s not… wait… 
There’s a faint clicking sound. 
It’s both familiar and unfamiliar to your ears, but once the teeth slide over the last pull, you realize. It’s a zipper. 
Oh fuck. Is he going to jerk himself off? With a gasp, your head whips back around. He’s still positioned himself away from you, and you can only just make out the sounds that are accompanying the undoubted rise and fall of his fist. All you can see is a tiny sliver of his body, but you catch sight of the coiling muscles on his neck and you notice that his head is dipped forward, pearl white hair settling across the cut of his collarbone. The one red eye that meets yours is blazing and hungry, it makes every hair on the back of your neck stand up.  
God, he’s staring at you, watching you, getting himself off as you’re half naked and bent over a desk in his office, fully subjugating yourself to his whims and fancies for the sake of your grade. 
Damn it, (Y/N). This should not be a fucking turn on. You should be disgusted, but the flush of slick that drips down your thigh says otherwise. 
He lets out a choked moan, picking up the pace of his hand, letting you hear the click and slip of his palm as it strokes up and down his cock. A shiver echoes up your spine and your hips seem to have a mind of their own, grinding your clenched thighs over the dip of the table, easing the clenching pulsations that your cunt is shuddering through you.
“Look at you, so desperate for my touch that you’re humping the fucking table. Such a dirty girl, and so disobedient. You’ve only answered a few of my questions correctly and yet your slutty little mouth and body keep pushing at me. Making me put you in your place. Let me ask you something, why should I go out of my way to fix your grade when you can’t even prove to me you understand the simplest concepts? 
Ah, here’s a thought. What if I told you I’ll wave the other requirements; no more readings, no more quizzes, but I won’t let you cum? What if I just get myself off? You’re putting on a such a good show for me! Why should I bother with seeing that you’re satisfied when that table seems to do the job for you? Sound good? Or would you like for me to come back over there and make you cum?”
“I–I don’t… I don’t want…” You can’t get the words out, your tongue feels leaden between your lips and you can’t think of anything but the steady itch that’s spreading from your clit. 
“Speak up,” Shigaraki demands, slowing his jerking fingers. The chair he’s sitting in groans as he leans forward, and his eyes wide as they take in the delicious sight that’s propped before him. “You don’t want to cum? Is that it? You’d like for me to get myself off and leave you there?”
“No!” you cry out, your fingers digging into the scuffed wood of the table. “I-I want you to make me cum.”
There’s a sharp clatter and you jump at the abrupt noise. It must be the chair you think, your heart pounding against your chest, waiting for Shigaraki’s next move. He only lets a few seconds drift by before he presses himself back to you. He leans his broad chest over your back, the front of his legs pushing against the back of yours. His exposed length is wedged firmly against the cleft of your ass and its tempting hardness makes you squirm under him, but he’s propelling you forward, pinning you against the rough wood, and you can only flail uselessly under his control. His lips skim over your neck and he bites into your skin, sucking and licking bruises as he inches closer to your pulse.  
You say his name pitifully, wantonly, and he lets out a shaky gasp. Something about your tone has shifted something within him and you can feel his cock swelling, dripping a rope of wet pre-cum down your shaking leg. 
He leans away, removing his sticky hardness from your ass. “Seems your priorities have shifted. You’re a little preoccupied right now, aren’t you?” he asks, his voice gravel scraping against your overwhelmed senses. You let out a weak moan and he snaps into action, his fingers pushing under your flattened stomach and tugging against the fabric that he finds. He yanks you upward, pulling your shirt up as he goes. His palms dip under your half lifted bra, and he cups at your breasts, massaging the rounded bulbs and plucking at your peaked nipples. Your head lolls back, and he sucks at your earlobe again, his breath warm and rasping as it passes by. 
“Hold still,” he commands. 
It’s not an easy position, this stretched upward arch that he’s forced you into, but it’s worth it when you feel his cock pushing between your tensed legs. He doesn’t thrust into you, opting to run his weeping tip against your slippery folds, pressing until his bulbous head is twitching against your pulsing clit. 
Goddamn it, you think as he stills, his lips smacking open-mouthed kisses over your shoulder, it’s not enough. You wiggle your hips back and forth and he abruptly exerts a firm pressure against your windpipe, leaving you sputtering and gasping. “What’s wrong? Not happy with this? Do you think you deserve something more? Do you think you’ve earned that?” He shoves you back against the surface of the table, his broad chest following the plane of your back, trapping you under his heavy form. 
You’d replied, you know you must have, but you can’t hear yourself anymore, your attention attuned to the warm length that’s pressed against your shuddering folds. You’d likely thrown in a please for good measure because Shigaraki rewards you with a quick peck to your shivering neck and his thumb, swirling it around your clit, creating a cresting ache that leaves you mumbling incoherently, a thin line of drool slipping from your parted lips. As he keeps that faint osculation up, your fingernails scrape over the wood of the table, your feet lifting you onto your toes, curving your back, and shoving your leaking pussy into his open palm. 
“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?” Shigaraki says, a breathy desperation lingering around the edges of his rasping voice. “But it’s just not enough, right?” 
You nod, licking up some of the excess saliva that’s built under your heavy tongue and crane your head back at him. His eyes are the first thing you see. They’re wild, ravenous and glinting with a roughness that makes you whisper out a soft whine. Fuck. It’s not supposed to be like this. You’re not supposed to want him this badly. Goddamn it. Now that he’s caught your gaze, he won’t let you look away, and he presses himself closer, his cock twitching and warm, the tip rubbing back and forth, keeping time with his circling thumb.
“You gonna fuck me, or not?” you finally ask, unsticking your lips and smirking up at his hardened face. 
“Tch. Don’t rush me,” he grumbles, removing his hand and teasing cock from your cunt, watching as your body convulses under him, your pussy quivering against the excess stimulation that he’s wrought over you. Your thighs burn, aching to break free from his control, to rub against that throb, that tingling that keeps shuddering outward.
“One more question,” he tells you, lifting his dripping thumb to his lips and sucking off the traces of your arousal. The sight of him licking his pink tongue over his gleaming knuckles almost makes you lose your balance, your arms shaking precariously under you. 
“A-another? Come on,” you pout, your eyes following the curve of his wicked lips, watching as his scar quirks upward, amused by your useless defiance. 
“Make you a deal, answer it correctly and I’ll give you my cock. Sound fair?”
“Ugh, whatever, just hurry up,” you snap, so impatient and turned on that you can hardly think. 
The tip of his cock presses against your sopping entrance, pushing forward just enough to part your dripping folds but stopping before he clears that first, tight ring of flesh. The promise of his dribbling tip makes you lose any semblance of self-control. You thrash under him, but he traps your disobedient hips against the rough siding of the table.
“No! Don’t stop! Come on Sh-Shigaraki–Don’t be such a fucking–ah–” 
“Do you want this? Do you want my cock?” he growls, leaning over you, his fingers squeezing down, no doubt leaving bruises in the supple crest of your hips. 
“Yes! Fuck, please! I–I want it so fucking bad!” you cry out, your voice drifting into a sob as you croak out the last plea.
“Then you better answer. What are cytosines?”
“They… they’re n-nitrogenous base… fuck… base that pair… that pair with guanine during D-DNA replication… I–please, please, Shigaraki! Fuck me! I want your cock! Fuck me, fuck me!”
Thankfully, he either takes pity on you, or can’t control himself anymore, his hips surging forward, gliding his thick length into your cunt and snarling at the mind numbing heat that waits for him. He keeps driving upward until he bottoms out, sharp hipbones grinding against the plushness of your ass. 
He’s not gentle with you, no he’s animalistic and raw, his thrusts papping into you with a terrifying strength. You would have liked something slower, something that lets you enjoy each imperfection and dip that raced along his cock, but this, oh, this is an exception because this is perfect. It’s not what you want, but it is what you need. 
The heavy fullness that he’s stuffing you with leaves you breathless, but you somehow manage to gasp out a string of nonsensical praises each time he drives back into you, overwrought by his roughness. 
This coupling isn’t kind, isn’t right, and is not healthy, for either of you. No, not with the way he’s using your shivering body, distracted with slacking that euphoric thrum that’s making his cock pulse and swell inside you.
But fuck it feels good and you can’t help but tremble with delight. These intoxicating thrusts of his ram him up against something that’s buried deep inside you, and each time he hits it another star of bright pleasure races through you. The familiar coiling of release is steadily mounting with each rapid fire rut he gives you and if he could just, ah, there’s something that’s… no, fuck, it’s, it’s not going to work. It feels good, but it’s missing one vital ingredient, one thing that he’s neglected to pay attention to, to notice. 
Your clit needs to be tweaked and rolled, and right now it’s pulsing away against the table, beating a sad tattoo into the grainy wood. Oh well, you think, head fuzzy, lost in the euphoria of his powerful cants, grinding your ass into his hips as he digs into another teeth chattering thrust. He’ll likely finish soon, and you’ll probably need to get yourself off later. It’s not something new, and it’s not like he’s going to care enough to focus on that, on you. This whole thing has been about control, so there’s likely no room for your own pleasure.
“What’s wrong,” he gasps out, his fingers lifting from your hips to curl beside your turned head. 
“What? N-nothing–I–” you pant, eyes rolling back as he hits that spongy patch of nerves again. 
“Tch. Hold on,” he interrupts, his voice rasping and breathy. He pulls himself out of you with a grunt and yanks you upward, hauling you onto the tabletop and flipping you on your back, bending your stiffened legs and bracing your knees against his lean forearms. 
He holds you apart, spreading you open with his powerful hands. You can see him properly now, and the sight makes your breath catch against the back of your throat. Fuck, he looks good. 
His long white hair is draped across his bare shoulders and his eyes are blazing pits of hunger, devouring the sight of you with those red irises. His jaw is clenched, and he glares down at you from his imperious height, his nostrils flaring as he drags in a quick intake of air. To your shock, he gives you a little time to acclimate to this new position, opting to languidly step forward, letting his slippery cock head press and tease at the dip of your opening. But right when you think he’ll move again, he stops, his eyes roving over the lines of your face. 
His sudden stillness makes you peer quizzically up at him and you scoot closer, your feet lifting from the table. The movement snaps him out of his stupor and he grabs your ankles, roughly pinning you back down.
“Keep still,” he snarls through clenched teeth, that scar of his lifting. 
You nod mutely and he rewards your unquestioning obedience with another powerful thrust, sinking his swollen cock back into your waiting cunt. He lets out a sharp groan and grabs at your hips, jerking you forward, already drifting back into that all-consuming rhythm he’d started earlier. His ruts are a little slower from this angle but, in no time at all, that familiar ache pools in your core, stoking and building at an alarming rate. The driving force of his hips soon has you blinking back spots and distant stars, and this time he adds the all important pressure of his thumb, circling the finger pad over your clit and dragging a broken moan from your quivering lips. 
“So that’s what you needed. You close?” he grits out, his lips set in a curled scowl. He’s lost some of that early control, his hips stuttering as they connect with yours, his power lessening, cooling, as he looks for your release. 
“I–I think–oh fuck, do that again. Yes! Just–ah!”
He angles your hips upward and gives your clit another quick oscillation, pressing down until you’re gasping. “There you go. That felt good. You’re getting tighter,” he laughs, looming over you, shoving your heaving chest downward as he jerks your hips into him, forcing your body to do most of the motion, making your shoulder blades scrape across the uneven wood. “Cum for me. Fucking cum on my cock, (Y/N). Cum and I’ll give you your A, I’ll give you whatever the fuck you want.”
Your spine arches as you break around him, your cunt greedily pulling him deeper, slipping him past the barrier of your tender cervix and earning you a weak shout of praise from Shigaraki. Seconds later, he’s pulsing and twitching against your walls, the warm pooling of his cum filling you up and spilling down your spread thighs. 
His head drops to your shoulder and the rough skin of his forehead sticks to your sweat dampened flesh. For a long moment you’re both still, each of you struggling to catch your breath, luxuriating in the tingling sensation of release. 
“I fucking hate you, you know,” you gasp out, your arms circling his back, fingertips etching vague patterns over his neck and shoulders. 
“Ha,” he snorts, “I’ll have to remember that. Don’t worry (Y/N), I’ll pay you back for that little remark next time.”
“Oh? Next time?” you chuckle, moaning as he twists out of your hold and pulls his softening length out of you. 
“I’ll fail you on every assignment if you try to keep away,” he threatens, his eyes falling to the gaping mess that he’s left behind. You cross your legs, denying him the satisfaction of leering at your dripping pussy. 
“Fine. But next time, fuck me on something softer than a damn table.”
tags: @spicy-skull​, @xwildskullx​, @yixxes​, @ghstmthr​, @rekoii​, @diaouranask​, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love​, @libiraki​ <--- i’m coming for you. you’re gonna have to read for this, lady. so, uh, i’m officially noneconing you here. 
notes: you made it! this thing is a monster & i’m so sorry i can never stfu
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skinnyducky · 3 years
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good in bed // v.h.
Hey...how y’all doing? I have halfway recovered from my wisdom teeth surgery and I definitely was feeling a bit sad not posting and whatnot. But, here I am now, so I hope you enjoy this one. Pt. 3 to Party at Y/n’s is most likely coming Monday. And, Pt. 2 to Maneater is coming Wednesday (hopefully). Any who, hope you enjoy! Also, this is very much inspired by Dula Peep’s “Good in Bed.”
Word Count: 1336, edited 
WARNING: mentions of sex, arguing, angst, language, and i think that’s it.
---------
The start of yours and Vinnie’s relationship was like ice cream on hot summer day. It was sweet, it was refreshing, and it was much needed. After being cheated on by your ex, you needed to find something to bring the love back…and that’s exactly what Vinnie did. The two of you had met after accidentally buying the same car. You bickered and fought over the vintage vehicle before he ultimately decided to let you keep it…but only if you gave him your number. You happily did so and long story short, that led to a beautiful relationship…or at least what was a beautiful relationship.
As the relationship went on, you found that the so-called “honeymoon phase” was really just a phase. For you and Vinnie, it lasted for a least a good two weeks. What started as late night conversations before bed shifted into heated debates and hate-filled goodnights. The butterflies that fluttered around had died, and now your stomach was overflowed with enraged hornets. You didn’t know what was the cause of your downfall, and you weren’t even sure that there was anything that could fix it.
Well…you knew one thing that definitely fixed it: sex. The term “angry sex” seemed like a myth. You thought people were just overhyping it…until you were actually living it. You remember the first time it happened; you were pissed that he didn’t show up to dinner with your parents, while he was pissed because you hadn’t stopped yelling at him for a good hour. The two of you argued for hours, and as an attempt to get you to stop, Vinnie grabbed you by your waist and tossed you onto his bed. It was silent, the only sound being the heavy breathing from both of you. Next thing you know, the two of you are going at it.
Ever since then, that’s all you two did: fight and screw, then pretend like nothing ever happened. As nice as the sex was, it just was too toxic for you. You didn’t want to be stuck in an endless cycle and having to resort to sex to solve your problems. And also, you wanted Vinnie to know you for more than just your body. With that being said, you figured the solution to that was to communicate. Something you two did none of.
So, here you were in Vinnie’s room, sitting on his bed and waiting for him to finish streaming. While scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, you tried to figure out what the hell you were going to say. You didn’t know how to talk about your feelings, it was completely foreign to you. Ugh, this was going to be difficult.
“…I love you guys, bye chat.”
Vinnie stopped streaming and turned around in his seat to face you. You pursed his lips and started fiddling with his thumbs. “So, what did you wanna talk about?”
“I think you know.” You said, not meeting his eyes.
“Is this the talk? You’re breaking up with me aren’t you?”
You shook your head, laughing to yourself at the boy’s stupidity. “No, Vinnie…I’m not breaking up with you.”
“Then why does it feel like you are?”
“I promise, I’m not. I just wanna try to communicate, y’know. Like other couples do.”
He shrugged. “Don’t we already do that?”
“I wouldn’t necessarily call our exploration of each other’s bodies ‘communicating.’ Besides, you and I both know that our relationship isn’t the same as before. It’s like we’ve grown cold towards each other or something.”
“Is this because I forgot our anniversary?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.
You gave him a puzzled look for a minute, trying to figure out when your anniversary actually was. Had you forgot too? Damn, this relationship really was trash.
“Uhm, no…this isn’t about that. Although, we really need to mark our anniversary on our calendars.”
“Then what’s this about, Y/n?”
You sighed and stood up from your spot on his bed. You paced in front of him, trying to figure out the right words to say. “Vinnie…I’m tired. I’m tired of always arguing and then having angry sex…which is amazing, by the way.”
He squinted his eyes at you as he thought about what you said. “So…are you mad about the arguing or the sex?”
“Oh my god, why is this so hard?” you groaned. “I’m mad about all of it, Vin. I’m mad that we just can’t talk to each other. I’m mad that when we do have time together, we spend it arguing. I’m mad that the only way for us to enjoy each other’s company is to have sex. I’m just tired of it all.”
“Then, let’s just end the relationship.”
You stopped your pacing and stared at him with wide eyes. “I just told you I didn’t wanna break up.”
Vinnie chuckled, “I know that Y/n, but if you’re really feeling that way…then just leave.”
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now. You actually want to just break up? Aren’t you going to at least talk to me about what you’re feeling? Aren’t you gonna fight for us?”
“You wanna know what I’m feeling, Y/n?” Vinnie asked. You nodded, egging him to continue. “I’m feeling…very hungry right now. I want a fat burger and a fat fry with a fat shake to go along with it. That’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. And if the relationship is already going to hell…why fight for it? I say let it die.”
He then proceeded to hop out of his seat and dance around his room, chanting “let it die, let it die…let it shrivel up and die” while clapping.
You just stood there with nothing to say. You couldn’t believe that he was taking this all as a joke. You just poured your entire heart to him, trying to fix your relationship, and he’s sitting here quoting The Lorax and acting like a child. At this point, you were sure that there was no hope for the two of you and you were fine with that. You weren’t going to be driven mad by this anymore.
“You’re a fucking joke.” You growled, picking up your keys off his bed. “Y’know, I wish we hadn’t met each other because I’d be way better off if I didn’t even know you.”
“That’s not saying a lot, babe. You’d probably still be with the same dickhead who cheated on you.”
You scoffed, feeling the hornets in your stomach get their stingers ready. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m saying I made your life better. You wouldn’t be who you are today if it wasn’t for me.”
“You’re one to talk. You’d be stuck in here, playing video games and withering away if I hadn’t come along.”
Vinnie huffed, holding back a laugh. “At least I don’t have to deal with video games nagging at me all the time.”
“Jerk!” you yelled, rushing to his door. You stood in the doorway, turning around to look back at him. “I never want to see you again, you hear me? NEVER again, Vincent. You’re dead to me.”
Slamming the door behind you, you made your way down the hallway of the Hype House. But before you could go any further, something stopped you. A feeling of sadness washed over you and your anger subsided. The hornets that once threatened to pour out of you had now calmed down. At that moment, you felt your body tremble as sin known as lust flowed through your veins. You swallowed hard, trying to keep yourself from rushing back into Vinnie’s room and pouncing on him…but there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.
“Screw it,” you whispered.
You turned around and darted towards Vinnie’s room. Bursting through the door, you tackled him onto the bed and well…you know the rest. You knew going through this all over again was bad, that it was causing more damage to your relationship. It was definitely sad…but that’s what made you good in bed.
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favefandomimagines · 3 years
Text
Oh (e.b.)
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Summary: buck runs into his ex fling, taylor kelly, leaving you to feel like nothing but a second choice
AN: inspired by the winter finale of 911
You were a catch. You were smart, had a good job, beautiful. Guys were lining up to date you and yet the man you wanted to be with didn’t want you.
It seemed to everyone around you that the two of you were meant to be but to Buck, it wasn’t that obvious. He didn’t see how you looked at him, didn’t hear how you talked about him. Clearly, he didn’t know how you felt about him.
So, you stuck it out. You put your feelings on the back burner and just decided to be his friend. If he wanted to be with you, he would.
But you couldn’t ignore the feeling in your chest when he told you he was having dinner with Taylor Kelly.
“We got to talking at that call and then Albert said him and Veronica were having dinner and I just, called and asked if she wanted to come.” Buck explained. “And she said yes?” You asked.
“Yeah, she seemed on board. Maybe this is the universe telling me something.” He said. “The universe? You’ve never believed in that stuff.” You told him. “But this is Buck 3.0. I’m all for a change.” Buck answered. “When is this dinner again?” You asked. “Wednesday at 6.” He said. 
“Oh.” You muttered quietly. Wednesday was your birthday. And it seemed that Buck was caught up in bettering himself and finding someone that he had completely forgotten about you. But you had enough trying to remind him and get him to see that you were right there the whole time. 
You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked at the mug in your hands. “You okay?” He asked. “Uh, yeah. I think I’m gonna head home. I have a long shift tomorrow.” You said, rising from your seat.
“You just got here.” Buck pointed out. “Buck, I just, I gotta go.” You said in a more stern manner. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and watched you leave his apartment.
You let out a large sigh as you got in your car before the tears came.
How were you so unlucky that the guy you were head over heels for, wanted someone else? He wanted someone else so much, he forgot about her birthday. When you were right there through everything? You were there through Abby leaving, Ally breaking up with him, the lawsuit against the department, his parents, everything. And yet you were left on the back burner. 
You always put his feelings above your own, not because you felt like you should. But because you cared about him and if he was happy, you were happy. Though, the more you thought about it, the more you realized that he sometimes didn’t give you that same courtesy. 
Your day was like the day from hell. Everything that could go wrong in your line of work, went completely wrong. To make matters worse, you had lost one of your favorite patients. She had stage 3 leukemia but she never let that change her personality. 
She made going to the hospital after shifts worth while because at least you got to spend time with her. But the cancer was too aggressive for the chemo and she died in her sleep that night. You tried not to let losses get to you but she had been your patient since you started volunteering at the hospital. You were really hoping you’d see her remission but the universe had other plans. 
All you wanted to do was lay on the couch with Buck and just cry. You got in your car and dialed his number, getting a few rings before he picked up. “Hey, you!” He greeted you. “Hey, do you maybe want to come over later? I’ve had the worst day. I lost a patient and-” You started before he cut you off. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I can’t. I have a date tonight, trying to put myself back out there.” He said. “I can come over after.” He added. “No, forget it. It’s fine.” You said. “You sound upset.” Buck said. “I’m fine, Buck. Enjoy your date.” You replied before hanging up the phone. 
Since that evening, you had been avoiding Buck like the plague. On shifts, you wouldn’t talk to him. Sticking to Chimney and Hen like glue to avoid any conversation with Buck. 
You went so far to ask to ride in the ambulance to calls, rather than in the fire engine like usual. It wasn’t odd for you to be in the ambulance because you were an EMT but you usually rode with the rest of the team.
“Does anyone know why Y/N won’t ride with us anymore?” Buck asked his crew. “Are you that dumb?” Hen asked. “Hen,” Bobby started. “It’s because of you, dude.” Eddie answered. “Me? What did I do?” Buck questioned. “Well, you blow her off all the time, completely ignore her feelings and ditch her for dates and you’re so oblivious you can’t see that she’s totally in love with you.” Eddie explained. “When you were hurt in the hospital, she didn’t come to work for days because she didn’t want you the throw a clot. She had to work triple shifts just to make enough to pay her rent because of all the days she missed sitting with you. Did you ever thank her for that?” Bobby added. “Well, no, but-” He started. 
“And when she lost her favorite patient, Emily, did you ask her if she was okay?” Bobby asked. “I-I couldn’t I had a date. And she didn’t say it was Emily.” Buck said, trying to defend yourself. “If you don’t reciprocate her feelings, that’s fine. But she’s your best friend. And as her best friend, you are supposed to be there when she needs you. She shouldn’t have to explain herself.” Bobby concluded. “You also forgot her birthday.” Chimney added as they all got out of the engine. 
The rest of his shift, Buck tried getting you to talk to him. But it was always, ‘I’m busy, Buck’ or ‘Can’t talk, we’re working.’ He’d given up when he tried to stop you after a call and you had given him a look he had never seen before. 
The guilt was eating him alive. He was a terrible friend to you and he thought being with you was a pipe dream. Until Hen and Eddie told him you loved him. But regardless of your feelings for him, you had done so much for him and he didn’t realize it until you were gone. 
That night, Buck went over to Taylor’s to gain more perspective on what he could do to fix what he royally screwed up. 
“I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t talked to me in weeks. We’ve never gone this long without talking.” Buck explained to Taylor.
“Well, you did forget her birthday. And not give it a second thought that she was hurting over the loss of a patient.” She said. “That’s not helping.” He replied. “You asked for my help and I’m being honest. You really hurt her. She almost got evicted because she was so worried about you. The first person she wanted to be with after her friend died was you and you went on a date instead.” Taylor said. “I know. I tried to talk to her but she won’t answer any of my calls or texts. She won’t even look at me anymore.” Buck said. 
“You are so stupid sometimes.” Taylor laughed. “What?” Buck asked. “She has feelings for you. Why else would she get so upset? If she only saw you as a friend, you would be getting screamed at not avoided.” She explained.
“Everyone keeps saying that but there’s no way Y/N has feelings for me. She’s...perfect. Perfect doesn’t fall for damaged goods.” Buck rebutted. “Trust me, she loves you.” Taylor told him. “And do you love her?” She asked. “Of course I do. But being with her seemed like it was too good to happen so I tried to move on. I guess I tried so hard I ended up hurting her anyways.” Buck answered. 
“Then tell her. And do a whole lot of graveling while you’re at it.” Taylor said. 
Buck quickly left the apartment and got into his car driving like a bat out of hell. When he arrived at your apartment, he didn't even bother to park in the parking stall correctly, his main focus was just getting to you.
When he finally reached your door, he knocked on it rather harshly and heard the sound of your urgent footsteps coming to find out who it was.
"Buck? What are you doing here?" You asked. Buck couldn't even find the words to answer because he was more focused on what you were wearing.
You had on a formed fitting red dress, your hair was curled and flowing over your shoulders and you looked beautiful.
"Wh-Why are you dressed like that?" He stammered. "I have a date." You answered. "You have a date? With who?" Buck asked. "Emily's brother. We became close when Emily had chemo and after she died we kept in tough. Why are you here?" You questioned.
"Don't go on the date. Please, for the love of god, don't go on that date. Because I love you, Y/N. I was too stupid to see it until you weren't around anymore. And I was terrible to you. I was supposed to be your best friend and I was so worried about my own life I dnd't even ask you how you were doing and oh my god I missed your birthday." Buck rambled.
"Slow down, Buckley, and talk to me at a normal rate, please." You said.
Buck took a deep breath and looked at you intently. "I'm in love with you. I-I always have but being with you always seemed like a pipe dream because you're perfect. You have always been perfect and you know that I'm not." Buck explained.
"Exactly. I've seen you at your worst and I still love you but even as your best friend you never gave me the time of day. Missing my birthday to go to dinner with Taylor Kelly. Brushing me off after Emily died because you had a date." You laughed bitterly. "I have stood by you no matter what. But god forbid I need you once in a while." You added.
"And I am so sorry, Y/N. You have every right to be upset with me, I'm upset with me. I'm pissed off at myself because I didn't realize what I had until it was too late." Buck replied. "Evan, do you understand the situation you just put me in? I get to go on a date with a great guy, one who actually pays attention and then the man I've been in love with for years, shows up at my doorstep to tell me he loves me back." You started.
Buck's facial expression fell, fearing the worst and anticipating you telling him that you'd moved on and he was too late.
"And I have to call that guy and tell him that I can't make it. Because the person I actually want to be with is right here." You finished.
The light in Buck's eyes returned at your words, looking at you with a gentle smile.
"Really?" He asked. "Yes, really and please don't make me regret it. You've screwed up a lot lately, let's not add us to the list." You said. "So there's an us now?" Buck questioned. "I-If that's okay with you." You stuttered. "It's absolutely okay with me." Buck said with a smile.
"I guess I got all dressed up for nothing." You sighed, letting Buck inside your apartment.
Buck was quiet for a moment as he watched you take your heels off and your earrings, placing them on the table by the door. "Then let's not make it for nothing. Let me take you out on our first official date." He said.
"Besides, I need to see you in that dress more often." He added a smirk on his face. "Alright then, Buckley. Take me on a date. You have a lot to make up for." You smiled, offering him your hand.
Buck took your hand in his, happily, and held you steady as you put your shoes back on. “Trust me, Y/N, it’ll be the best date you’ve ever been on.” He said. 
In the moment, you laughed at his words but after the date had concluded and all was said and done, it had indeed been the best date you have ever been on. 
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Text
It’s all I could think about. Detective Loki x Reader
Warnings - NSFW
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Monday
It was late. Your eyes flick to the clock ticking quietly on the paint chipped wall to the back of the station. 9:35pm. A sigh escapes you as you stand up, grabbing your long empty coffee cup and making your way to the back of the station.
You shouldn’t have stayed this late really, but you wanted to get the case files finished now that the Dover case was closed up. You still couldn’t believe how the case had ended, relief was felt all of the department obviously but god those last few days were intense.
The kitchen was the furthest room away, down the hallway past the interrogation rooms. You stopped as you noticed a faint light creeping out from one of the rooms. Surely no one else is still here? The night officer had gone out to handle something. You walked over with caution, you knew it had to be another employee but even so, you were still nervous. Empty coffee cup in hand you slowly pushed the door open more to see inside. You relaxed instantly when you saw it was just Detective Loki sat looking over tapes. He didn’t notice you at first, his head resting in his hands as he lent over watching the small screens in front of him. You knocked on the door gently, grabbing his attention.
“Sorry, I didn’t think anyone was still here” You didn’t speak too loudly, as if you didn’t want to break the silence. Loki looked so tired, the wound on his forehead looked better than before, the bandage gone now and just some bruising left, but it didn’t distract you from the dark shadows under his eyes. He stood up from his chair turning to you.
“No I’m sorry, I should have gone home hours ago I...I don’t know I guess I just couldn’t let something go, I don’t know what though” Your eyes flicked to the screens, he was watching the interrogation with the kid from the RV.
“You think you missed something?"
“I know I missed something, he was kidnapped, and being abused by that woman how didn’t I see that?” You could see he was frustrated with himself. “I was too wrapped up to see I was scaring him, that I was adding to his pain” You stepped closer to him placing a hand on his arm.
“You couldn’t have known, and you were just focused on finding those girls. And besides, it all worked out okay in the end” You gave him small smile which he kind of returned, as much as he could in his current mood. He just looked so tired and defeated, though you could understand that completely given how the case went. “You know... you can relax a little now, you saved the day” He nodded slowly, eyes directed downwards, like he was still deep in thought. He needs something to take his mind off of the case....
Your eyes flicked towards his lips....maybe? God you wanted to, you’ve wanted to for such a long time, maybe this is the chance you were hoping for. You didn’t let anxiety or doubts have time to worm their way into your thoughts, you closed the little gap between you and pressed your lips to his before he even looked back up at you.
You felt him tense. Oh god...this isn’t what he wanted at all! But then he started kissing back, his hands coming up to rest on your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your hands went to his shoulder, his neck, into his hair. Both of you were breathing heavy, hands exploring, a slight moan from him made your stomach do flips.
A sudden beep and a loud click made you both jump, pulling apart and looking behind Loki. Someone had walked back into the station, probably the officer on the night shift. Your arms were still around each other, Loki turned his eyes back to you, he looked half way between shocked and wanting more, his lips were swollen from your kissing, his hair falling out of place from your hands. Gods you wanted him.
You both pulled apart and you smiled gently at him before heading to the door, not wanting to be caught leaving the room at the same time as Loki looking the way you did.
---------
Wednesday
Another late night, you were really getting sick of your inability to just leave work unfinished until the next day. You slung your bag onto your shoulder and headed out the door, thankful that at least it was a nice night, the nicest in a while actually, you only had to wear a light jacket.
You made it to your car, jumping in and putting your bag on the passenger seat, keys going into the ignition, you turned the key and got ready to drive home... you frowned. The car wouldn’t start, you kept trying but it wouldn’t get going.
“Please tell me you are kidding” you sighed and tried one more time, praying it would just start so you didn’t have to walk all the way home. Nothing. “Fuck!” You sighed and leant back against the seat. A knock on your window made you jump. It was Detective Loki. You opened your door so that he could lean down to talk to you, he was wearing a fitted long sleeve black top, you’d seen him in it before but unclose it didn’t leave anything to the imagination.
“You okay?”
“Yeah umm... my car won’t start” He leant back up and walked to the hood, lifting it up to look inside, you leant over to try and get another look at him but you couldn’t see from the seat. He closed the hood and came back over.
“It’s too dark to see exactly what’s wrong, lock up I’ll drive you home”
“Are you sure?"
“Yeah” He moved back and waited for you to grab your bag and lock your car before walking towards his car.
The drive back was actually more awkward than you would have liked, after you told him where you lived you didn’t really say anything else to each other the whole way there. You watched as your house came into view, Loki pulling up just outside and turning off the engine.
“Thank you, for driving me home”
“Yeah sure, no problem” You waited a few seconds, when you were sure nothing else would be said you made to get out of the car. “Why did you kiss me?” You stopped, arm holding the door of the car and turned back to him, mouth slightly open in shock, you didn’t say anything. What could you say? I think your sexy and decided to kiss you when you were clearly vulnerable to see what it was like?
“I umm...” you couldn’t find words to say, but he was looking at you, clearly waiting for an answer. you could feel your nerves rising. “I don’t know” You got out of the car and walked around heading to your house, you were so nervous but something stopped you, you couldn’t leave him thinking you didn’t know. You turned back to the car, opening his door this time to lean down to him.
“You looked crushed, and I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, I just... I just wanted you to stop thinking about the case, I could see it was frustrating you so I just... I just kissed you” You watched him, his face giving nothing away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it” You felt worse, his silence made you feel like it was the wrong thing to do after all, maybe he didn’t want it like you did.
You stopped leaning on the car, about to say your goodbyes and go inside, at least then you could freak out without him seeing. But he got out of the car too, closing the door and grabbing you before you could go very far.
“I...I..” He looked over you nervously. “fuck...it’s all I could think about, since it happened. I keep replying it in my mind and...it distracts me all the time” He was so close, you could feel the heat from him, you could smell his cologne and what you thought was the faint smell of smoke, maybe from an earlier cigarette.
“It does?"
He nodded, leaning closer, you noses were almost touching, eyes fluttering closed. “Let me do it again” You didn’t even have to answer, his lips were on yours and you melted into him, it didn’t take long for your hands to be all over each other again. You felt a rush of confidence and pushed him gently in the direction of your home, he pulled away from you, although he stayed close. “Are you sure?"
“Yes” you smiled and grabbed his hand, leading the way to your door, working quickly to unlock it and pull David inside. It was dark, the only light coming through the living room window from the streetlamp, but you didn’t even bother to hit the lights before you and David were pushed together again. Your hands pushing his shirt up, feeling the smooth bumps of muscle.
You pulled David with you towards your bedroom, thankful that you didn’t have stairs to interrupt you. You trusted yourself to know the layout well enough, not wanting to break apart from David, your legs hit the bed and you pushed David’s shirt over his head, finally breaking apart. Your top soon followed, you hands darting to his belt. Piece by piece until you were stood in nothing but your underwear.
David looked you over, his breathing heavy. “You...you are so...” he huffed out a laugh and grabbed you by the waist. “I can’t find words"
“You don’t need to” You pulled him close again, kissing him gently, his kissing slowly moving to trail down your neck, causing a moan to escape your lips.
“I love that sound” he slowly moved you both onto the bed, climbing on top of you, leaning down but stopping just before his lips touched yours. “I can’t wait to hear more of them”
His kisses trailed lower, softly touching your collarbone, between your breasts, lower and lower past your stomach. God he was driving you insane!! His fingers slowly hooked into your panties dragging them down painfully slow until he could throw them aside, his hands dragging back up your legs.
“David” You moaned, legs moving against him in frustration, he was so close you could feel his breath against you. Your head flew back against the pillows when he finally put his mouth against you, tongue working quickly to make you come undone.
You didn’t stop the noises, letting gasps and moans flow freely from you as David moved his tongue, feeling that familiar climax edge closer and closer. You quickly moved your hands to his hair gently tugging him away. He looked up at you, eye filled with worry that he’d done something wrong.
“I want you” you whispered. He didn’t need to be asked twice, he climbed back up you instantly, lining himself up before slowly pushing in. You both moaned at the contact. He took a moment to start moving but once he did he set a steady pace. Your hands dragged down him back, nails diffing in whenever he thrusted harder. That made him moan, you were surprised at how vocal he was, breathy moans escaping every time you both moved, or when your hands found their way into his hair, tugging on the longer strands.
His thrusts started picking up pace, your breath mingling as you move against each other, placing kisses on each others lips and necks as you both chased your orgasms. David’s hand moved down to grip your waist, you could tell he was close and so were you, you could feel yourself tensing in anticipation causing David to groan. “I’m close...” He breathed.
You couldn’t reply, you were so close you just pulled him closer to you, pressing your lips against his hungrily. It wasn’t long before you feel over the edge, moaning his name as he followed behind, groaning out as you both came.
You laid there catching your breath, lazily planting kisses on each other.
“i feel like I’ve been waiting for that to happen for days"
“I’m glad my kiss got you so rilled up detective”
“Well...I hope you’ll distract me again"
“Always"
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yyxgin · 3 years
Text
7 days (lee minho)
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pairing: lee minho x gn reader genre: fluff, best friends to lovers au, college au word count: 3.7 k  warnings: swearing, mention of alcohol in like one sentence listen to: 7 days - nct dream requested by: anon
synopsis: you confess your love to your best friend for a whole week before he finally takes it seriously.
THINGS YOU SAID MASTERLIST 28) things you said in the dark
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MONDAY
Lee Minho is your best friend. Now, Lee Felix would disagree and say you’re in love with him, and your roommate might be right, but you’ll never actually admit it to him. You managed to hide your feelings for the older boy for far too long now and you’re not just going to lose your streak for nothing, right? 
Wrong.
Well, it’s not your fault that you have to break the little promise you gave to yourself. It’s all on Lee Felix and his pathetic bet. You should have known better than to make bets with a short Australian boy, but you guess even your brain has its dark moments and this was surely one of them.
“I bet you’ll forget to take out the things from the dishwasher before I come back from my afternoon class,” he prompts to say while putting on his shoes in the hall, glaring at you after a small argument you two had over who is the dirtier one in your apartment (it’s obviously Felix. He just can’t stand the truth). 
“Oh yeah? What are we betting on, then?” you mock him, pouting in annoyance. 
“If I come back and the dishwasher is still full, you’ll have to confess to Minho. No excuses.” he spits at you, putting on his coat and taking his backpack from the floor, looking like an angry cat. 
You snort at his comment. “As if,” you roll your eyes, “okay, deal. And if I don’t forget and you lose this bet, you’ll have to clean for the whole year alone. I’m not helping in the slightest.” you bark at him, watching him open the door and snickering at your proposal.
“Right. Okay,” he nods his head, getting out of your shared apartment, “deal.”
Now, this was a huge deal for you. It was important for you to win this bet, because, well, you hate cleaning. And on top of that, you can’t just confess to your best friend out of the blue, right? That would be horrible. Everyone would have thought you paid much attention to your task and that you actually did what you had to do-- take the dishes out of the dishwasher for once. It was easy!
Well… you see… Friends were on the TV. 
Isn’t that enough of a reasoning for you forgetting? No? 
Okay, right, maybe you do have a memory of a goldfish. But it’s totally not your fault that the episode that was running was just your favorite and Felix’s afternoon class wasn’t as long as you thought it was going to be!
Needless to say, Felix came home to a full dishwasher and a shit-eating grin on his face announcing his victory, bringing you back to your senses.
“Oh no..” you curse under your breath, fear in your eyes.
“Do it. Now,” he orders, “call him. I can’t believe you actually forgot.” he shakes his head, laughing to himself, “oh, well, I did think you would, but something inside of me still had a little bit of hope.” he shrugs, watching you nervously sweat under his gaze.
“I can’t!” 
“It was a bet, you little bitch! Do it now or I’m telling him!” he yells, motioning to your phone and glaring at you for the thousandth time that day, making you take it with shaky fingers and a deep sigh coming out of your mouth, dialing your best friend’s number, because truth be told, maybe you do fear your roommate just a little bit. He is short, but full of angst and rage for this world and you didn’t want to be the victim of that.
“Hello?” Minho asks, making you tremble even more with the reality hitting you.
“M-Minho?” you call into the phone, biting on your nails as you put your phone on speaker so Felix can watch you do the biggest mistake of your short life.
“Yeah?” he asks nonchalantly, making your heart skip a beat.
“I love you.” you deadpan, hearing the other side of the line get silent. It’s not an outcome you predicted, but it’s not the one you would like to hear either. 
After a while, there’s a short snicker coming out of the speaker followed by a teasing question that makes you instantly roll your eyes. “Who doesn’t?”
And you chose this as your object of interest? You huff, instantly getting irritated as all of your nerves leave your body. “I love you, Minho.”
“Did you drink?” he asks, “I mean, I know it’s only like 4pm or something, but with you and Felix living together, you never know…”
“No, I didn’t drink anything. I’m completely sober-” you prompt to say, getting cut off by your best friend again, his voice coming out in a rushed statement.
“Okay, I have a class in like 5 minutes and I haven’t gone out of my apartment yet, so please don’t get wasted and I’ll see you soon, bye!” and with that, he gives you no time to answer as he ends the call, leaving you sitting shocked in your living room with a silent phone in your hand and a moment to take in.
“So... I guess it went good?” you mumble, raising your eyebrows at your roommate that just shakes his head at you.
“You’re gonna try tomorrow again. I’m not letting you go before he takes your confession seriously.” 
“Felix-”
“No excuses.” he glares.
You had to clean out the dishwasher that afternoon anyway.
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TUESDAY
You decide to follow your promise you gave to Felix, because in your words, mamma ain’t raise no bitch, and you also, admittedly, can’t stop thinking about the words you said to him ever since you got them out of your mouth. There was a sense of relief overflowing your body after your confession that tells you that maybe, this wasn’t such a bad idea as you first thought it was. 
You confess to your best friend on the second day of the week again. It’s tuesday and you two meet in a coffee shop, talking about how your week was. You two were quite busy with school and classes, so it was hard for you two to talk, but you quickly caught up and your conversations were still as comfortable as ever, as if nothing happened and you didn’t just spill out your heart to him the day before.
You think that maybe, he even forgot. Who knows? Lee Minho was quite the individual.
Once the barista calls for his name and he comes to take his order, you watch him with a look you only imagine can resonate the textbook version of heart eyes. It’s hard for you to look anywhere else-- you have eyes only for him. It’s quite silly, you think. You managed to fall for him even though all he’s ever done was tease you and laugh at you.
Well… that’s not all. And you know that. To a stranger, it might seem like your relationship is strictly like two siblings. You two tease each other more than you actually have serious talks, but that doesn’t mean Minho isn’t a good listener that always offers you the most honest advice. His humour is also the only thing that could get you through your hard days sometimes and for that, you’re forever thankful.
So once you step outside of the coffee shop and walk side by side on the sidewalk, you decide to go for it again. Because what could go wrong, right?
“Minho, I love you.” you say, voice much more steadier than yesterday, watching him react.
But exactly in the moment you do so, the cup of coffee in his hands slips out of his grasp and falls to the ground, making him wince and scowl, because truth be told, his only love is and always has been the americano now spilled all over the concrete.
“A terrible decision, really.” he mutters, taking the empty cup from the ground and throwing it out to the bin, sighing to himself.
You offer to share your coffee with him. He teases you for drinking latte.
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WEDNESDAY
Wednesdays are the hardest for your best friend. You know this, because you know him too well. You know his schedule by heart and you also know when he’s having a hard time-- you are his best friend, after all. You can see it on him even in the slightest change in his eyes.
You visit him at his apartment on Wednesday with some takeout in your hand, knowing he doesn’t have the time and energy to cook on this particular day. 
His classes start in the early morning and they end in the late afternoon-- leaving him exhausted, only to be going to his dance classes in the evening. They always tire him out even more. It breaks your heart to see him getting home with dark circles under his eyes and fair skin, but you can’t really do anything about it-- it’s his schedule, after all. All you can do for him is be there with takeout in your hand, waiting on his bright yellow sofa (you were strongly against this color, but he just didn’t care about your opinion. Or he bought it just for the exact same reason, who knows) until he comes home, ready to hear him complain about his day.
And he does exactly that-- he comes home a few minutes after you sneaked into his apartment with the spare key he nonchalantly gave you once when you hung out, falling down face-first onto the sofa with an exaggerated sigh, screaming into the cushions.
“Hard day?” you ask, voice soft and considerate.
He answers you with a hum before he sits up again, coming closer to where you’re sitting on the sofa, taking the takeout from the bag sitting at the coffee table and sitting on the floor in front of you, right between your legs. You don’t know why he does that, but it’s become a tradition at this point-- he sits at the floor, even though he has plenty of space on the sofa to sit on, and you sit right behind him, legs on either side of his body, nudging him with your heels when you feel like teasing him.
“Thanks for coming,” he mumbles, getting the chopsticks and munching on his food, chewing out loud-- a sign that it tastes good and you made a good choice on picking his dinner today.
“It’s not a big deal, I always come over anyways,” you answer, smiling down at him.
He only nods at you, but you see his composure shift in the way he aimlessly stares at the wall-- he doesn’t feel good. It’s not only the exhaustion today. There must be something else going on. 
“Are you okay?” you ask, bringing him out of his thoughts.
“Yeah,” he nods, continuing to eat, “it’s just… I feel so useless today.” he shrugs, snickering to himself.
“Why?” you simply state.
“We’re learning this new choreography and I just can’t get it right…” he mumbles, not once meeting your eye as he explains what’s on his mind. Minho doesn’t say a lot, but somehow, you always entirely know how he feels.
You sigh, shifting a little in your seat so you’re closer to the boy sitting on the floor, tenderly bringing your fingers into his hair. You brush it away from his forehead, playing with it, as you quietly speak up, wanting to heal your best friend’s heavy heart.
“It’s just a bad day, Minho. It will be okay, I promise. You just have to rest, okay?” you mumble, continuing to play with his hair. “You’ll get the dancing right in no time. So don’t worry about that, yeah?”
“Hmm,” he hums in a mix of pleasure and acknowledgement, closing his eyes momentarily before he puts the empty box of takeout on the coffee table and leans back into your touch, “fine. Wanna sleep over and watch a movie?” 
You shake your head in disbelief at how quickly his mood changes, giggling. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he nods, but doesn’t move from your touch. You watch him from up close, tracing the sculpted features of his face, admiring his beauty, when you decide to say the three words again, nonchalantly and randomly, as always.
“I love you, Minho.”
“Thanks.”
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THURSDAY
You wake up to the sunlight aggressively shining into your eyes, scowling a little and cursing at Lee Minho under your breath, because he is the only person you know that doesn’t close their blinds before going to sleep. You thank the gods for not having a morning class today, trying to force yourself to go back to sleep, when you hear loud cursing from the kitchen, prompting you to hurriedly stand up and rush to the room, watching a disaster happen right in front of your eyes.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-” you hear, seeing something set to flames on the stove-- you think it’s eggs, by the carton placed on the kitchen counter, but you really can’t recognise the object when it’s coal black and burning.
“What’s going on?” you nervously ask, watching the scene unfold.
“A fire.” your best friend says, making you laugh.
You just shake your head at him, taking a seat at his kitchen table, not even rushing to help. Watching him struggle is much more fun anyway, and you know he’ll figure it out eventually-- he’s an engineering student. He’s smart.
“Are you not going to help?” he glares at you, putting the pan under the sink, flashing water on the hot surface. 
“Not really, no,” you shake your head in innocence, seeing how the hot oil reacts with water in a small explosion, almost burning your best friend’s fingers off as he quickly lets go of the object and curses loudly again, taking a step back.
“How did this all even happen?” you ask, watching him sigh and take out another pan, cracking an egg on top of it and letting it cook.
“I was looking for Dori and forgot I had eggs on the stove…” he scratches the back of his head, laughing a little at himself.
“Right. Yeah. Why didn’t I think of that? I’m such an idiot,” you propose, laughing with him. It’s such a Minho thing to do, you don’t even feel surprised anymore.
Minho then finishes cooking the eggs, serving them to you on a small, white plate, acting like a chef as he takes a seat on the chair opposite of yours, eating his own creation as well.
“Is it good?” he asks, watching you fierclessly nod at him with big eyes and full mouth.
“It’s amazing. I was starving, really, so these eggs really hit different right now,” you mumble out, “Thanks Minho, I love you.”
It slips out casually now. It’s been four days and your best friend doesn’t seem to notice the change in your behaviour, but you don’t really even care at this point. Maybe it’s easier for you this way, after all.
Minho just hysterically laughs at you like a maniac this time, not even finding words to say back as he finishes the breakfast he made with so much struggle, and maybe even the tiniest bit of care. 
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FRIDAY
The cars behind the window blur into themselves as you drive down the street, sitting on the passenger seat of your best friend’s car. You smile fondly at him when he shortly glances at you from his place, driving with ease down the neighbourhood you live in, the raindrops angrily falling at the surface of the car making it hard for the two of you to even listen to music on your drive home.
“Thanks for driving me home, you’re a lifesaver,” you say when you’re near your apartment complex.
“Well, I have to take care of you since you’re too stupid to get driver’s licence,” he shrugs, grining.
“I’m not stupid!”
“You failed the test twice!”
“I was stressed!” you argue, laughing at him. 
He shakes his head at you, parking in front of your building, waiting for you to get out with your things and run into your apartment. You don’t forget your ritual, though, looking him in the eye before you leave, muttering the cursed eight letters again before saying goodbye.
“I love you.”
“Why?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. There’s a hint of amusement hitting his features, but confusion is a feeling overpowering on his face when he speaks to you.
“What do you mean, why?” you shake your head.
“Why do you keep saying that?” 
“Because it’s true?” you answer, sounding more like a question, though, watching his expression change into even more confused one.
“But like… why?”
“That’s a stupid question.” you scoff. You feel your palms sweating, trying to nonchalantly wipe them on your pants, the stress finally falling on your shoulders when you’re being questioned.
“It’s not. Answer me.” he insists, pouting at you like a little child in the store when their parents don't want to buy them something.
“Because you’re my best friend? I don’t know,” you sigh, hurriedly taking your backpack from the floor, opening the door wide to escape the conversation, “bye!”
You run into your apartment, breathing heavily as you take off your shoes and reach the living room, seeing your roommate laying sprawled out on the sofa in his usual manner. This is a situation for a short australian man to cope with, if you’ve ever seen one.
“Felix, I think I fucked up.”
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SATURDAY
After a long, long conversation with Felix about your feelings and how you think you ruined it all, you think your mood couldn’t be worse. You feel like you either completely missed your chance by telling Minho you love him only because he’s your best friend, or you messed it all up and made your friendship awkward by saying so and he finally caught on to what your words really mean.
You walk around the apartment like a stressed-out shell without a soul, chewing on your bottom lip at all times, when you hear the bell on your door ring, throwing you out of your thoughts as you run to see who’s there bugging you in the late hours of the evening.
“What are you doing here so late?” you ask Minho, caught off-guard.
“I was bored,” he shrugs, looking down to his feet. You want the ground to swallow you whole. It’s suddenly hard to stand there in front of him-- it only deepens how embarrassed and frustrated you feel.
“Do you wanna go out for a walk?” he asks, raising his eyebrows up at you in question.
“Sure,” you shrug, following him outside.
You walk by his side, feeling your hands slightly brush against each other from time to time, making you shudder with the unexpected contact. You’ve never felt more nervous than now-- and you took your driving test twice, so that really tells you something.
“Why are you so quiet? Did something happen?” he asks, slightly nudging you with his elbow.
“What? No,” you shake your head, “everything’s fine.” you smile.
“Are you sure? I know I can be a dick sometimes, but you know I’m always here for you,” he says, gazing into your face with such fondness it actually comforts you.
“Yeah, I know,” you nod, “thanks.” you sigh. 
A few more steps later, though, the sentence slips out of your mouth again, and you don’t even try to fight it as you let it go. It feels natural to say it now. You’re getting used to it, yet, the feeling he makes you feel always somehow shifts-- but still stays the same as well.
“I love you.”
A nervous laugh is all he gives you, hugging you to his side with his arm, keeping you close to shield you from the cold.
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SUNDAY
And when the clock passes midnight and Minho’s still sitting in your room, you feel like somehow, you two have never been closer. You managed to confess to him every day for the past week and he’s still by your side. It’s a change to your relationship, but you don’t feel like it’s causing you trouble anymore.
You sit in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence. You don’t have a clue why he didn’t want to leave yet, but you don’t mind him staying. He brings your soul another kind of comfort-- like the morning by the sea, just listening to the waves hitting the shore, the distant chirping of birds lulling you back to sleep.
His hands rest on your calves, your legs thrown over his lap as he sits up on your bed, his back pressed against the wall. You lay there, watching him in the moonlight. You had to turn the lights off, because Felix’s room is right opposite yours and the landlord didn’t let you change the door, meaning you both had an old, white door with a big glass window in the middle of it, letting the lights shine right to the other’s room at night. 
He tickles you in the spark of the moment, making you laugh quietly. You don’t want to wake Felix up, or else he’ll get mad at you, and once again, you don’t play with a short australian boy, or you’ll get burned-- you know that by now.
“Stop it!” you whisper-shout at him, sitting up and moving away from him.
He chases you on the bed, though, his fingers laying everywhere on your body, lightly tickling the skin of your stomach when his hands slip under your pyjama shirt. You push them away, squeeking with the coldness of his fingertips, tears threatening to fall from your eyes at the force of your laugh. 
He stops, falling down to the bed next to you, heavy breathing being the only thing heard in the quiet room. His hand slowly makes its way to your thigh, resting there delicately. You curse at the butterflies rising in your stomach-- you want to shout at them to go away, but hell, is it a good feeling. It’s like you’re torturing yourself, but it’s a sweet torture. You wouldn’t change it in the slightest.
And so then and there, after confessing to him for six days straight, you decide to try again, with as much sincerity as you can, because suddenly, there’s something inside of you telling you that this time, it might actually work.
“I love you.”
And perhaps, you’re not wrong, because with the shuffling of the sheets, he turns his body to yours, facing you. He stares into your eyes, smiling softly at your face, the action looking angelic sitting on his features. 
“I love you too,” he confesses in the dark. 
730 notes · View notes
doctorstethoscope · 3 years
Text
Moment || Aaron Hotchner x gn Reader
A/N: hiiii besties expanding on a lil prompt from the weekend due to popular demand! Thank you to @the-modernmary for  helping me with it!! If u liked this teeny bit of angst u will love her fics!!
just a little note for those of you who read The Right: I am going on vacation this coming Saturday-Wednesday. I will have the chapters queued to post for y’all, but I will not be able to respond to taglist requests or update the masterlist until I come back! Still let me know what you think about the chapters though, they’re some good ones! ok onto this fic.
contains: slight cursing, alcohol consumption
wc: 1.7k
You take a deep breath as you walk out of Strauss’s office, taking exactly one beat to regain your composure before hastily making your way over to Hotch’s office, letting yourself in without knocking. 
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” you said by way of greeting as you crossed his office and settled into one of the chairs across from his desk.
“Tell you what?” Hotch asks, looking up from his paperwork with confusion knit across his brow. 
“That Strauss was going to harangue me the second I walked into the building this morning. I seriously didn’t even make it past security before she nabbed me.” You told him, disgruntled. 
“I didn’t know. What did she want?” Aaron asks, and you look up and see that he’s telling the truth-- he really didn’t know. 
“Oh… I assumed she would have cleared it with you before she asked me.” You said, your boisterous energy deflating the longer you sat in the chair. 
“Is she pulling you for undercover work? She always does that, and she never asks if we have anything coming up or what your consult workload is--” 
“No, Hotch. She’s, uh, she’s not pulling me for undercover work.”
“What is it?” 
“She said the director tapped me to lead the field office in Vegas.” You confessed, looking up and seeing the air leave Aaron’s chest. 
“Wow.” Aaron says, blinking. 
“Yeah,” you agreed. 
“And you’re going to take it?” He asked. 
“I told her that I needed some time to think about it.” You answer him.
“What’s there to think about?” He wonders. 
There’s a moment where you think you might actually roll your eyes at him. There’s a moment where you consider begging him to give you a reason to stay. There’s a moment where you consider crossing the desk and depositing yourself in his lap, kissing him with the weight of all of the feelings that had you wanting to stay. 
But, after a moment, you realize that none of that’s happening. He’s sitting across from you, looking at you like you’d be the biggest fool in the world not to take advantage of this opportunity, and maybe he was right. Maybe you would spend the rest of your life wanting him one-sidedly, wondering what good you could have done for the world if you had simply accepted that he’d never love you back. 
“Nothing,” you answered, after a moment. “There’s absolutely nothing to think about at all.”
****************************
Aaron’s barely even distracted when you swing his door open and plop yourself into one of his chairs first thing in the morning. He’s used to it, by now. He may have been a less-than-willing participant in your friendship at the beginning of your relationship, but now he was glad to call you someone he was close to. His closest friend, really. 
His ears perk up when you mention Strauss. “Is she pulling you for undercover work?’ He starts to rant, already planning the tirade he’s going to deliver to Erin when he notices your demeanor change. You’re… shy, all of a sudden. You’ve never hidden from him before. He doesn’t like it. 
“She said the director tapped me for the field director position in Vegas,” You revealed. The sentence hit him like a punch in the gut.
“Wow,” is all he can manage to get out, fighting the way his throat threatens to close up. “And you’re going to take it?” He asks, although he knows the answer will break his heart. 
“I told her I needed some time to think about it.”
“What’s there to think about?’ He asked, allowing himself to hope for a moment that you’ll make some grand confession, to imagine for a moment that you might possibly feel the same way he does, to believe for a moment that he’s worthy of your love. But he’s not.
“Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing to think about at all,” you tell him, standing up and leaving with a forced casualness. 
Aaron had been married long enough to know that that tone and those words together mean the exact opposite of what they are supposed to mean-- but he was still confused. What could possibly make you stay? And how could he find it before you left? 
*****************
The following days between you and Aaron had been chilly, to say the least. You didn’t bounce ideas off of each other on cases like you normally would. You came to the opposite conclusions at every turn. You were out of sync, and everyone felt it. So when the case wrapped up on a Friday afternoon, you were more than happy to rush home to a bottle of wine, a pint of ice cream, your moving boxes and some trashy reality television.
You’d given up on packing after about an hour. Your heart just wasn’t in it. So instead, you lounged in your pajamas, sipping at your wine in the hopes that it would guide you to your first full night of sleep since you’d spoken with Strauss. You’re just about to head to bed when there’s a knock at your door. You swing it open, revealing Aaron, holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. 
“I was an asshole.” He offers. “Am I interrupting anything, or?”
“Just packing,” you say, wanting to twist the knife a little bit even if it wasn’t truthful. Aaron is undeterred, and steps inside anyways. 
“I didn’t want you to leave with us still in the middle of the fight. You can be as mad as you want in the morning, but have a glass of champagne with me?” He asks, with those big brown eyes you could never refuse. 
“Fine,” you sighed, still easily won over by him, even when you were heartbroken and mad. 
“Here, you open it. Congratulations,” he tells you, handing over the bottle. You start picking at the foil, and he speaks up in the silence. “Things are going to be different without you, you know. I like that our team is structured the way it is… as a team, but you know, in a lot of ways, it was nice to have a partner in you.”
“You know, come to think of it, I’m not sure if I even have cups. They might be packed away,” you say, still picking at the foil and decidedly not looking Aaron in the eye. He chuckles a little at your comment.
 “I don’t know what I’m going to do when you’re gone. I mean, who else can rein in Derek, or get to see me the big picture, or talk Emily off the ledge when I’m sure she’s about to go rogue?’ 
“It’s going to be okay,” you tell him, setting the bottle on the counter, still unopened. Aaron heaves a sigh. 
“You should stay.” He says, after a moment. 
“What?” You say, blinking, because surely you must be drunk or dreaming or something else. 
“You should stay here. You don’t have to take the job in Vegas.” 
“Haha, very funny,” you joked, bringing your attention back to the bottle to avoid looking him in the eye. 
“I’m serious. Listen, I know I said there was nothing to think about, but I changed my mind.” 
“Oh, did you? And what if I haven’t changed mine?” You asked, getting angry now. 
Not able to hold back for another second, he takes your face in both of his hands and kisses you. “Just, think about that before you board a plane. Okay?” He says, and before you can even speak, you hear the door swing shut behind him. 
Damn you, Hotchner. 
You don’t sleep a wink.  When 8am finally rolls around, you pull yourself out of bed and get dressed, heading over to Aaron’s. As you buckle your seatbelt, you realize that you know you have to go over there but you have no clue what it is you even want to say to him. You hope you’ll figure it out without sounding completely insane as you knock on Aaron’s door, and he swings it open, still in his sweatpants and incredibly surprised to find you on his doorstep.
“I’m even more mad at you right now than I was last night,” you tell him by way of greeting.
“That’s understandable. I haven’t been very fair to you,” he agrees, and the fact that he’s being so reasonable only makes you angrier. You slip past him and step inside the apartment. 
“I don’t get it. You couldn’t just let me move on, start a new life and forget about the torch I’ve been burning for my boss the entire time I’ve worked here? You had to have the last word, even if I was leaving forever.” 
“No,” Aaron says, and you bite your tongue, trying to allow him a moment to respond even if you weren’t feeling all that gracious. “No, I couldn’t let you move on thinking the torch you were carrying ws unrequited.”
You’re struck by his words. “What are you trying to say?” 
“I’m sorry, it doesn’t matter. It’s a great opportunity for you in Vegas. I’m happy for you, and you shouldn’t let this--” 
“Hotch, what are you trying to say?”
“Just that I’m proud of you, and I know that you’ll do excellent work, and--”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to hide from me.” You call him out, and he looks at you for a moment. This time, you don’t break his glance. 
“I’m not trying to hide. I’m just too late.” He tells you, looking down at the floor. 
“Tell me, Hotchner. Tell me, please.” You beg of him, shifting to try to get him to look you in the eye.
“I love you, and I figured it out too late.” 
You draw in a sharp breath, and he’s sure he’s ruined any vestiges of friendship that still existed between the two of you in this moment, and that you’ll board your plane to Las Vegas and he’ll become a creepy old boss that you never think about again. He takes a moment to look at you, a moment to mourn what might have been, a moment to remember the way your laugh made him smile while the memories were still fresh. He takes a moment, and then you speak up.
“No,” you correct him. “You figured it out just in time.”
tagging: @choppa-style @wanniiieeee @zheezs14 @torykjamie @maureen4y
@ssavanessa22 @isthatme-thatsme @g-l-pierce @ssahotchie @infinite-tides
 @itsmytimetoodream @averyhotchner @msmarvelsmain @hotforhotchner11 @hotchinkevlar
hi besties I tried to tag everyone who said they wanted to be on my regular hotch list and a few of y’all who regularly interact with the right but if i made a mistake/u want to be removed u can lmk I will not be offended!!!
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green-socks · 3 years
Text
Endless Nights
Pairing: Benny Miller x gn!reader (no descriptions or pronouns)
Summary: You and Benny can't seem to get enough of each other's company. Could tonight be the night you find the courage to do something about that crush?
Words: 2,101
Warnings: Nudity but not the sexual kind, food/eating. Almost zero editing and a tired writer.
Notes: I don't always participate in Writer Wednesday, but when I do I take one look at the picture, get an idea and then go completely off the rails. Sorry. So the pic doesn't really have a lot to do with the rest of the fic but I hope that's okay. For this week's @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday, thanks for organizing it every week!
I had the idea for midnight shopping at the supermarket with Benny and then realized I didn't want the night to end there... So it didn't. I actually like this piece, even if it probably suffered a lot from my fast writing and non-existent editing. Reader is mentioned having shorter legs than Benny but other than that I think there are no descriptions or pronouns used of reader, lmk if I'm wrong.
MASTERLIST
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You and Benny have been driving around aimlessly for a couple of hours already, taking turns in picking the music, and talking about this and that while sometimes falling into a companionable silence. It still amazes you how easy and comfortable everything is with him. You have never felt like this with a crush before, used to the feeling of always obsessing over what you felt like you could and couldn’t say or do, or spending a lot of time and energy into trying to figure out what the other thought.
No, with Benny you don’t have to pretend anything or force yourself to keep the conversation running in fear of those horrid awkward silences, because both of you know that you can talk for hours on end when the mood strikes. You met through mutual friends only a few weeks ago, but the connection was clearly there. As was the obvious mutual attraction.
Strictly speaking, though, you and Benny are just friends. Nothing has ever really happened to indicate otherwise in any case. But friends don’t usually try this hard to find any excuse just to hang out, nor do you stay up late every night talking to your other friends. And when you hang out in a group you always seem to gravitate towards one another. What’s more, somehow it always seems to be just the two of you left at the end of the night, often not even noticing the others leave.
Your interactions always border on the line of obvious flirting with your touches and already formed inside jokes, but neither of you ever dare do anything that couldn’t be brushed off as innocent behavior between friends. You guess you’re both just kind of scared to take the leap - you have been burned before, and so has he.
It’s not that you doubt your own feelings for Benny, or indeed his feelings for you. Even you have to admit that he does seem pretty interested in you, but you still wave away your friends’ squeals of “he’s totally in love with you!”, mainly not wanting to get your hopes up too much.
Because a small part of you still finds it a little hard to believe; someone so handsome and funny and kind wanting to be with you? What if he likes you, but just not as much as you like him? What if you were just a second choice for someone you really like until something better comes along - again? That scares you, both of you.
Tonight has been like many other nights lately; you had been to the movies with some of your friends, but after the movie ended you had been grasping at straws to come up with a way to continue the night so they (Benny) wouldn’t go home just yet. Benny had helpfully suggested just driving around and seeing if any ideas came to mind.
Santiago in turn had rolled his eyes at you two knowingly (making both you and Benny fluster and try to fake complete nonchalance) before saying good night and leaving with the others, who apparently didn’t feel the compulsive need to continue spending time together.
--------
The sun has gone down already but you two are still enjoying each other’s company too much to go home yet.
You end up in the 24/7 supermarket parking lot, craving a midnight snack. You are reminded of your teenage years, when you used to hang around different parking lots, popping into the store to buy a soda or a candy bar, spending all day outside with friends.
The only other customers doing their midnight shopping are tired people just off their shifts or young people staying up late just for the hell of it, much like you and Benny are, in fact. You wander around the huge store together, pointing out different products you’d like to try and reviewing stuff one of you already has tried.
Before long you realize that you have already spent almost forty minutes idly wandering around the supermarket, collecting new soda or chip flavors to test. Neither of you thought to grab a basket at the entrance, so your arms are starting to get a bit full.
“Benny, do you think this might be enough?” you ask while struggling to maintain your hold on the different bags of chips.
Benny looks back at you from where he is pondering over whether to get some ice cream. “Huh, I guess. I do still wanna get a sandwich, though!” he exclaims and promptly takes off in the direction of the deli counter where they sell sandwiches and salads left over from the day.
You try to keep up with his long strides, certain that you must look a bit comical half-running after a man with your hands full of treats. Oh, well. Benny often complains about how much focus it requires of him to “modify his steps” to fit your much shorter legs, and he always forgets about it when he gets excited.
When you catch up with him, he has already picked a sandwich for himself and one for you. “I got you salmon, that’s your favorite, right?”
“Yeah, thanks!” you say a little breathlessly after your speed-walk, taken that he remembers.
As you finally get to the cash register and start loading your stuff in your bag you see Benny sneak one more candy bar among the rest of your purchases. For someone in such good physical shape he sure does like his candy.
“Where to next?” Benny inquires as you get back to the car.
“Hmm, how about this one waterfront type swimming spot? It’s pretty secluded, has a pier, and there’s a nice view to the sea. I sometimes like to sit there on the cliffs to watch the sun go down,” you suggest, and offer him directions to the place.
It’s a short drive and you show Benny where to park his car. Even though it’s somewhere around 1 a.m. and the sun went down hours ago, the night is still light enough that you can easily see where you’re going and it doesn’t feel like you’re just sitting in the dark.
You settle down on the small pier with your sandwiches and sodas and chips and munch away happily.
Benny hands you the candy bar you saw him grab earlier at the cash register “for dessert”. It has a cheesy text on the packaging about giving this to someone special. He grins and shrugs, “I know you love these”.
It’s such a simple gesture but you can’t help feeling really flattered and even more smitten with him than you already were. You don’t read too much into the text on the packaging, but even the fact that he would buy you a candy bar he knows you love - just because - warms your heart.
(What you don’t know is that the candy bars have lots of different texts to choose from, and that Benny specifically picked “give this to someone special” instead of “give this to a friend”. There was also “give this to someone you love”, but Benny worried that might scare you off.)
--------
After you’re both done with snacking you try to think of what to do next, still reluctant to pronounce this night to be over, you get an idea.
“You know what I would really like to do right now?” you ask Benny, looking out over the water that looks so tempting. “Go swim,” you announce, turning to look at him.
“You don’t have a swimsuit with you, do you?” Benny asks, turning to look at you too.
“No… But there’s no one here,” you point out with your eyebrows raised in challenge.
Benny looks at you for a few beats with a blank expression on his face, before shrugging “Alright,” and throwing off his hoodie and t-shirt, jeans following next. “What are you waiting for?” he shouts over his shoulder as he jumps from the pier into the water.
You’re left sitting there with your mouth open, blinking rapidly as you try to catch up with the fast turn of events. Shaking your head, you stand up and shrug off your clothes before quickly running after Benny and getting into the refreshing water.
The night is still warm, and the water feels wonderful. You swim to catch up with Benny.
“You know, it’s pretty dark here but I’ve basically seen you naked now,” he remarks, waggling his eyebrows, and you snort with laughter.
“Benny, you’re not allowed to make me laugh in the water or I’ll drown,” you try to say sternly.
“Oh sweetheart, I wouldn’t let you drown,” he answers in a surprisingly serious voice.
Suddenly the energy between you is full of.. something. Something new and buzzing, sort of scary but also exciting. Something you can’t quite explain. You’re swimming around each other, looking at each other intently, but not daring to say anything that would break the moment and burst the bubble.
Someone else does that for you.
A couple of teenage girls, you’d guess around 18 years old, stumble on to the pier and immediately notice you two in the water. The other girl lets out a shriek and tightens her hold on the towel around her, and before you can even try to reassure them that everything is fine, they run off giggling and shrieking some more. Evidently, they had had the same idea for a nighttime swim but found the place already occupied.
“Yeahhhh, maybe we should put some clothes on before someone calls the police,” Benny suggests dryly.
You two climb out of the water giggling and grinning broadly. You don’t have any towels with you since you didn’t exactly plan this impromptu skinny-dipping session, but Benny gives you his hoodie to help keep you warm.
Sitting back down next to Benny you’re even closer together now than earlier, ever so slowly inching closer and closer to each other. Both of you think you could pass it off as huddling for warmth if the other were to question it, but somehow you know that won’t be an issue.
Soon enough you’re snuggling together on the waterfront overlooking the sea. You stay quietly like that for some time, maybe fifteen minutes, maybe more. It’s hard to tell when the world is so still and quiet around you.
Suddenly you think that this is it, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. In all honesty you sort of enjoy the pining stage of new relationships, but right now you feel like you might burst if you keep these feelings inside you any longer.
You turn and burrow your head into the crook of his neck and decide that you will have to take the leap now. You start pressing gentle kisses on his neck and hear Benny’s breath hitch at the first contact of your lips on his skin. He goes still as a statue, but you can feel more than hear his unsteady breathing at your actions. You’re practically vibrating with nervous excitement as you work your way up to his jaw and towards his lips.
Taking one final deep breath you close your eyes, not daring to look at Benny in the eye right now, as you bring your lips to meet his.
The kiss is sweet and unhurried, and yet your head is swimming and your whole body is buzzing with it as you melt into each other. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt, which just proves that everything really is different - better - with Benny. You pull away when you find yourself quickly out of breath just from feeling so much.
You finally dare to open your eyes to find Benny gazing at you with a dazed expression that surely mirrors your own and you slowly beam at each other, not feeling the need for words just now. Maybe you couldn’t even find them if you tried.
You settle back against his chest and the two of you stay like that for the rest of the night, sometimes spending long moments just kissing each other, sometimes talking quietly, sometimes just enjoying each other’s presence.
--------
Around five in the morning, when the sun is already getting up, you finally start to really feel the need for sleep. But this time it doesn’t feel wrong to leave and go home, since you’ll be going home together.
Later that day you wake up to a good morning, sweetheart in Benny’s arms where you fell asleep on his couch, tired but happier than you’ve ever felt in your life.
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inkandpen22 · 3 years
Text
Permanent Chaos (4/?)
Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: mild swearing
Part Summary: While Y/N is out shopping with Cara, news breaks that ties her with MGK. 
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Two days later...
Cara and I go out shopping and have lunch for a girl’s day. I have yet to talk about the other night with Sam. Cara hasn’t mentioned it and I have no plans to either. Cameras have followed us up and down Rodeo Drive. By this point, Cara and I are both used to it. Carrying my bags however, I doubt I look graceful for these videos their taking. Oh well, they have fifteen thousand more of me.
“CARA! EXCITED TO WALK IN THE CHANEL FASHION SHOW?”
Cara ignores the paparazzi and points out a dress in the window at Dolce and Gabbana. I request to go inside to try it on. I’m not sure where I’d wear it to, but that doesn’t really matter.
“Welcome ladies!” A woman in a black dress approaches. “Can I help you find anything in particular?”
I point over to the dress in the window, “could I see that in a size six please?”
She leaves us to go find the dress for me and we roam around a small section while she does. My phone rings and I see Nicole’s name pop up. My heart immediately begins to race. She doesn’t call me unless absolutely necessary, usually we text. I step away toward the corner to be discreet.
I answer the call hesitantly. “Nicole? What’s up?”
“I got a call from Stephanie,” she sounds agitated on the other end.
Stephanie is my publicist, she handles everything that Nicole can’t basically. They bicker a lot since they’re both so headstrong and constantly need control. It’s the classic good cop/bad cop scenario, yet I don’t know who’s who. These two cover every aspect of my career, God bless them.
“Oh no, sounds bad,” I grumble anxiously.
“Depends how you look at it,” she lightens her tone.
“What is it?” I press.
“Well…” she hesitates.
“Nicole!” I drag out her name.
“It’s all over social media, magazines and it will be on TMZ tonight,” she stammers. “I’m surprised you haven’t already heard if I’m being honest-”
“Nicole! What?” I rush her.
“An article about you and Colson Baker just dropped on some gossip sight,” she explains. “It says that you and Colson Baker are dating. Stephanie and I figured no one would believe it but it’s everywhere! They have videos and photos of you two leaving The Ivy plus talking by Sam’s car. If I didn’t know you, I would be convinced.”
My head hangs low as I rub my forehead, letting out a deep sigh. “Oh dear God.”
“We can handle it, don’t worry!” Nicole assures. “This story will be gone soon!”
“I need to go, talk to you later!” I hang up on Nicole right when the woman shows me the dress.
“I’ll take it” I attempt to hurry up the process.
Cara comes up next to me “don’t you think you should try it on first?”
“I’ll explain later but we need to go” I whisper to her and just like that, she’s hurry the woman along at the register.
I have the dress and exit the store in a rush. I must act cool, the paparazzi will take notice of my mood change.
“HOW’S COLSON, Y/N?”
“SEEING HIM TONIGHT?”
“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?”
“HOW ARE GONNA HANDEL HIS FANS?”
“HAS HE MET THE FAMILY YET?”
“What’s going on?” Cara asks concerned.
“I’ll explain once we’re somewhere private,” I whisper so the cameras don’t pick up on it.
We speed walk to the car and I offer to drive since I made us cut the day short. Once we’re on the highway towards home Cara asks what the heck is going on.
“Why did they keep asking about Colson?”
I turn on the radio and Elvis Duran, along with his team, are discussing no other than me and Colson.
Danielle summarizes the article for the listeners. “The article says they’ve been dating for the past few months. They’re very happy but the relationship is still new. The pair has not yet met each other’s families but Colson is going on tour soon so maybe Y/N will join him and eventually meet the family. Throughout, there are tons of photos of the cute young couple leaving The Ivy Wednesday night. There’s even a link to a video showing them, what appears to be, having a deep conversation by Sam Merka’s car. If you watch the video, the two are clearly looking at each other very lovingly. I mean, he’s looking at her the way I look at a fresh pizza!”
The rest of the cast laughs and I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Actually, scratch that, I can believe it. I’m just pissed.
“If MGK and Y/N are officially an item, why did she leave with Sam Merka?” Elvis questions.
“I’m glad you asked! According to sources, they’ve been very close friends since the start of TSL. In fact, the duo have taken many vacations together along with their co-star Penelope Glass.”
Cara turns down the volume and looks to me with a steady expression. “Is it true?”
I narrow my gaze at her in bewilderment. “What? No! There’s no way in hell!”
“Okay, just checking,” she lets out a sigh of relief.
“Never ever!” I add and change the station.
Colson Baker is everything I despise in a person. I’ve never hated someone so fast as I’ve hated him. Us together as a couple is impossible. It’s completely irrational.
_________________________________________________________
Later in the afternoon, Stephanie sets up a meeting for us to meet with Colson and his publicist. I had to drag myself to her office. My Fridays aren’t well spent in an office building with enemies. In fact, my whole day could be tarnished by this incident. The meeting room we’re all ushered into is freezing and I’m still in my sundress from earlier. Cara and I were never able to get lunch so I’m starving on top of being cold. The photos of us play in a slideshow on the meeting room’s tv. An endless cycle of false advertisement is how I see the photos. The media is selling us as something completely far from the truth. On top of everything, I’m in a meeting with the one guy in all of Los Angeles I can’t stand. Death would be less painful than the current situation. I tune out the debate between Stephanie and Colson’s publicist. He told me his name but my brain is so numb from the temperature in here I can’t recall it.
“Y/N!” Stephanie calls my name and I search for her around the room until I find her in the doorway with Colson’s publicist.
“We’re going to go make a few phone calls. You two will stay here while we handle the press.” I nod “sounds good.”
I send her a weak smile to charm her out of an apology for zoning out. She huffs and escorts Colson’s guy to her office so they can talk on speaker privately. I stand up from my office chair and stroll over to the windows overlooking the courtyard. I watch the cars zoom by on the street and businessmen and women shuffle in and out of the Starbucks below.
“If it means anything, I’m sorry,” Colson says quietly behind me.
I nearly miss it, he speaks so quietly. I lean against the wall, crossing my arms as I face him.
“You’re sorry?” I shrug, not really seeing his blame. “Why? It’s not your doing.”
I return my gaze to the chaos below us. I watch as people with office jobs travel about. I wonder if they’ve heard of me? I wonder if they like me or think I’m a stuck up actress? I shouldn’t care what people think, but it’s easier said than done. When millions watch TSL every week, it’s hard to ignore the wondering.
“If I hadn’t walked you to the car none of this would be happening,” Colson reasons guiltily.
I shake my head, finding humor in the situation now. The paparazzi can make nothing into a months long romance. A brief conversation outside a restaurant and suddenly we’re meeting each other’s families.
“We were only walking to a car. How could either of us have predicted the amount of attention that would come of us walking?” I justify, not to ease his mind, but my own.
My flicker over to the tv, I examine the slideshow of us. Examining the photos I realize it wasn’t all in my head, the way in which Colson was gazing at me is a tad bit gawk-like. Images of us walking to the car while I’m answering the paparazzi’s questions depict Colson glancing at me with what seems to be such admiration. A picture of when Cara calls for Colson comes up and I’m stunned by how we look. Even I appear to be in awe of him in return. It’s evident Cara is speaking yet neither of us react. We were so caught up within on another.
“I have one question!” I blurt out suddenly with my arms crossed I walk back over to the table. Just one and then I wish to put all of today’s events to rest.” Colson perks up and hums for me to continue. I point over to the photos on the screen “why did you look at me the way you did?”
Turning his head, he reviews the photos blankly and I wait anxiously for some sort of reason. “I’m not looking at you in any particular way,” he disregards my accusations.
I chuckle, amused by his horrible way of lying. “Lies!”
He’s thrown off by my reaction and I storm over to the TV screen to point it out to him.
“It’s clear as day to the press, the public and now me included. You’re clearly lost in some kind of thought! You were there, so was I and our friends! Say all the lies you want but you’ll never convince anyone.”
His jaw clenches and he avoids my gaze. He leans back in his chair, staring out the windows. “Colson,” I sigh, slowly approaching the table. “Maybe the truth could help the lies disappear! If we’re honest then maybe the press will leave us alone!”
He shakes his head low, letting out a brief laugh. “I highly doubt that.”
I have a thousand questions but I’m aware none will go answered. He’s a lost cause. I’m in this alone I guess. Turning my back to him I return to my position by the window. Observing the worker bees swarming around the spaces below. The sound of Colson’s chair rolling back comes from behind me but I don’t even shift. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his figure in the reflection of the window beside me. My attention remains outside. He won’t give me the time of day so why should I treat him any better?
“You wanna know why I looked at you the way I did?” His presence hovers of me and he feels like a wall surrounding me.
“Please,” I mutter a subtle beg.
 “I... I had this imagine of you in my head, pre-judgements. You’re supposed to be America’s Sweetheart, Little Miss Perfect! You told me you had been working for this for years, had drive and trails.” He confesses. “You’re not what I expected... It caught me by surprise is all.” 
My eyebrows furrow close, “So you thought I was just some pretty face, goody-two-shoes, ditz? If it’s because my image, my past, you said so yourself it doesn’t matter!” 
“No, no, that’s not it!” he runs his hand through his hair nervously.
Narrowing my eyes, I press further. “Why then?”
The door swings open and I straighten up before forcing a warm smile to my face. I step back from Colson before the person ever appears in the doorframe. One of Stephanie employees informs us that we’re free to go. Steph doesn’t want to keep me here all day and since I’m allowed to go Colson’s publicist is releasing him. I clasp my hand together, walking over to fetch my purse.
“Thank you so much!” I gush. “Have a good day and please tell Stephanie “thank you!””
The young intern eats up my pleasant expressions. “You too Miss Voss! Will do!”
The young woman shuts the door behind her and I return to the state I was in. Expressionless, I gather my belongings and Colson does the same. Checking my phone for any missed emails or calls I can tell he’s staring me down.
“Does it ever get tiring?” His tone is light, but I can hear the ounce of mockery beneath the surface.
My attention is locked on my phone as text after text pops up from Penelope. She’s more likely than not has seen all the articles and Twitter posts. I should call her and explain.
“Y/N!” Colson shout pulls my from my thoughts.
“Huh? Does it ever get tiring?” I restate his question back to him. “What exactly are we talking about?”
I slide my purse over my shoulder while stepping over to the door, leaving Colson behind. That is until he follows me.
“Your whole act.” He forces a fake smile and tosses imaginary hair over his shoulder. “The “happy go-lucky goody goody All-American girl?””
I scoff, eyeing him up and down. “You’re ridiculous. It’s not an act.”
I swing open the meeting room door, eager to leave here. My heels clink against the white shiny tiles on my walk to the elevators. After hitting the down button, I call up Blake now that I have some time to kill. She’s my oldest friend, I’m sure she sees right through all of the tabloids and is only checking in.
“Calling your boyfriend?” Colson mutters over my shoulder and I quickly move away.
“Don’t have one,” I answer plainly, waiting for Penelope to pick up.
He smirks and props himself up against the wall beside the elevator doors. I side eye him, all he does is smile all the time and he calls me out for acting so happy all the time.
“Can’t you find anyone else to annoy?”
He grins proudly, “sure I could. None would as entertaining as you though.”
“Geez,” I mumble under my breath.
I pace outside the elevators as I wait for one to arrive and for Penelope to answer. Classic of her to text me non-stop but not to answer when I call her back. The elevator doors open and I step inside, ready to get out of here. I hit the ground floor and Colson strolls in lazily not rushed at all. He checks the button and doesn’t add any. The doors shut then silence sits flat in the small space with us. My phone buzzes continuously, I check the name at the top of the screen.
“Frickin’ frackin’!” I clench my teeth together in a growl.
Colson’s eyes widen at my sudden explosion. Closing my eyes, I exhale to calm myself then bring the phone up to my ear. Smiling helps to fake enjoyment when talking to someone on the phone. Sometimes I can fool myself into thinking I’m not miserable during discussions.
“Finn!” I greet. “What’s new?”
My southern accent surfaces. I flip the switch whenever I speak to my family or friends back in South Carolina. I can’t have them thinking I’m not the same Y/N from Charleston. Colson eyes me with his eyebrows raised, surprised by my sudden transition. He makes fun of me in a whisper for my fake enthusiastic voice. I wack him on the arm and it only encourages him more.
“Hi ya Y/N, uh so ya prolly already know butcha face is everywhere along with this MGK fella...” Finn’s voice falters at the end.
I sigh and press my forehead to the wall. Finn asks me if any of what he has read is true and I instantly deny.
My tone goes timid, “who all knows?”
“Just us, Odelle, Greyson and Myself,” he assures.
A sense of relief rushes over me. I turn back around and Colson sends me a sympathetic look, it shocks me. Going from mockery to sympathy from him has my entire mood shifting.
“What ‘bout Momma or Daddy?” I ask, keeping eye contact with Colson.
“Nah, at least I don’t think they do,” Finn guesses. “I’m not entirely sure. Greyson is sayin’ they don’t. He’s the only one that’s home at the moment.”
“Heavens to Betsy,” I exhale deeply, looking up to the heavens. “Let’s hope to the high heavens they don’t. Thank you Finn.”
I go to hang up but he says one last thing. Bringing my phone back up to my ear I reply. “Sorry, missed that.”
My brother becomes stern on the other side, “do you and this guy spend tons of time together?”
I shift uncomfortably, preparing myself for the older brother advice I already see coming. “From time to time but I promise, we’re just friends.”
There’s a pause on his end, an unbearable pause. “I trust you Y/N,” Finn finally speaks. “It’s him I don’t trust. He’s not the best sort of guy. Ya’ll aint right for one another.”
I hope Colson can’t hear any of what Finn is saying. To keep him from becoming suspicious, I keep my replies indifferent. “Sure thing. Uh, talk ya later Finn.”
“Bye, talk to you soon.”
We hang up and I slip my phone into my purse.
Colson leans back onto the railing next to me. “Who was that?”
“My older brother, kinda overbearing,” I laugh nervously then bite my lip. My accent begins to subside again.
“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Colson remarks.
A faint smile appears across my lips thinking of my brothers. “I have two actually and an older sister. The order is Finn, Odelle, me then Greyson.”
Colson returns a kind and gentle smile. “That must’ve been nice to grow up with so many siblings.”
“It was.” I nod as memories flash across my mind. “Finn and Odelle were grouped together and so was me and Greyson since our age gaps are less.”
As we pass each level on the elevator there is a “ding.” Facing toward the doors again, I absentmindedly watch the numbers go down as we pass the levels. My mind wanders to the many memories I’ve made with my brothers and sister.
“Finn is about Sam’s age, so he likes to believe he’s almost a co-parent for me and Grey,” I describe with a pleased expression. “He’s the total opposite of Odelle.”
Colson genuinely shows interest, “how is she?”
“She’s a total wild card! We all joke that it’s every other kid. Finn and I are the rule followers. He was student body president, quarterback of the football team and still managed to graduate with honors. I’m nowhere near him on the perfect child spectrum but I’m supposed to be “America’s Sweetheart.” My parents eat that up. Then there’s Odelle, she’s the total opposite of Finn. My parents had to beg her to improve her grades so she could graduate. I remember being twelve, it was the middle of the night when I got up to get a drink. I went downstairs and saw her sneaking out of the backdoor. She made me promise not to tell our parents. I haven’t talked about it until today. There were days she’d fake being sick just to ditch school with her friends. By her senior year nothing had changed. She ended up graduating but my parents forced her to go to a college close to home so they could keep an eye on her. Her antics continued the entire time I was in high school. College for her was a playground. For some reason, I envied her. I still do. I suppose it’s because no one expects anything from her. She messes up, well, that’s Odelle for you. She causes trouble, just another day. For me, my parents have me up on a peddle stool. By the time I turned sixteen people out here started taking notice of me. When I reached seventeen the title of “America’s Sweetheart” popped up and from then on, I was longer a teenager. I had a role to play and an image to uphold. I could never make mistakes like Odelle. I have to be “perfect” constantly. Sometimes I feel like a doll, plastic. None of it is real.”
The bell rings for the floor. I comprehend the words escaping my mouth and snap back to reality. I revealed so much about myself while I was in that daze, private facts about myself that I’ve never spoken of before.
Straightening up and adjust my dress, I apologize. “I’m so sorry. I have no idea what came over me.” The doors slide open and I step out. “Good to see you Colson,” I rush out a farewell before speed walking towards the exit.
I mentally slap myself for all I confessed. If only Nicole found out, my head would be on a stick. My life, my background, every aspect of my being is supposed to be flawless. An All-American girl from South Carolina with a wholesome up brining is who I’m supposed to be. If word gets out that I’m not so perfect then… then I would be finished. My hand digs for my keys in my purse.
“Y/N! Wait up!” Colson jogs up next to me then steps in front of me, blocking my path.
“Colson, please....” I practically plead in a mutter, stepping around him.
He wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me. “Let me buy you a drink!” 
Workers around us walk around in multiple directions like zombies. I wonder if they’re taking notice. Hesitant, I narrow my gaze at me. The reason we’re in this mess is because we were seen with one another.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I admit and release myself from his grip.
I only make it a few feet before he’s in front of me again.
“Fine, no to a drink! How about we go get some coffee? Or tea? If you prefer tea!”
His chest rises and falls rapidly, his desperation is evident. The reason behind is desperation is still unknown to me, along with the reason he looked at me the way he did last night. Who is this mysterious man who stands before me? So many questions I wish to ask but I can’t get passed his eyes. Puddles of crystal blue settle on a white canvas. Confused beyond belief, for a reason unbeknownst to me, I accept. Could be my curiosity is getting the best of me.
“Coffee it is,” I give in to his request.
He grins ear to ear and steps to the side so we can leave side by side. “Unless of course you prefer we get tea!” he suggests, sounding a tad nervous.
Honestly I like both drinks but I prefer coffee. He holds the door for me and the bright sunlight of California weather strikes me.
“Nah, I normally drink a cold brew with a shot of espresso,” I describe.
He winces and pretends to gag. “Ew! That sounds horrible!”
“It gives you a boost in the morning! Nice and strong!” I laugh.
“You’re nasty!” He waves his hands in disgust.
“Eh, you’ve called me worse,” I laugh, unfazed by his insult.
He chuckles, “you’re not wrong.”
Our laughing dies down a little as we stroll over to the Starbucks. I peer up at him with a side eye. When our eyes meet we begin laughing again uncontrollably.
___________________________________
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