#I couldn't even explain it properly anyway I just know the kid is Fucked

[ageofzero]

It’s really fun watching someone lose their shit over Abraham GameKids when you’re in the know

#:3 #Game Kids #Fire and Wolf #Game Kids need their own tag #lmao sorry verse #I couldn't even explain it properly anyway I just know the kid is Fucked #admittedly this is true of every game kid tbh #both that they're Fucked and that it's fun watching someone go ???!?!? over them #I am not articulate so I explain none of the things #I just am Aware of things #it's the sibling privilege

[nervoushottee]

A Solemn Promise Ch. 5 | Joel Miller Series

Summary: The group heads to Joel and Tess' apartment to prep and plan. You and Joel both don't want to be around eachother but life decides otherwise...

Warnings: Not many, cursing, blood, small injuries, regular the last of us warnings.

Note: HEY HOTTEES I missed you guys and this series so so much! I know it's been like MONTHS since I updated this series but I was at a loss of where to go with this story. Since this fanfic is very canon compliant and goes along with the tlou show, its takes alotttt to write the fic and connect to the show.

But! I'm slowly coming back to it!!! I don't want to make any promise just yet but I was sitting on this chapter for a long time so here it is! hope you enjoy!

*comments and reblogs are always appreciated*

(limited editing)

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The four of them arrive back inside, heading to  Tess and Joel’s apartment. All of them were wet from the cold rain that poured on the streets. Tess at the front with keys in her hand, you and Ellie are side by side in the middle and Joel at the rear. 

With a turn of the key, Tess opens the apartment door. She walks in and you follow in suit. Your eyes linger at the common area. Ellie hesitates, Joel gesturing to her to follow. When she does, Tess quickly steps out and closes the door with you and Ellie in the apartment. “What the fuck?!?” Ellie exclaims. 

“So what’s the plan?” Joel asks.

“There’s not a lot of options. There’s the short way or the long way.” Tess explains. They both know that the short way wouldn’t be ideal as Tess states. “That leaves the long way. If things look bad, we’ll come up with something. We’ll have to drop, head to Bill and Frank’s. Stock up on everything we need.” He tells her.

Tess agrees to the plan, nodding a few times as she stares at the wall. Assessing the plan and the trip over in her head, Joel assumes. After a few seconds she turns her head back to Joel, staring at him. 

There’s that silence again. 

That thick silence that came when they were in the hallway minutes before. That deafening quiet meant that Tess was going to bring you up again and he couldn't run from it this time. But he’ll try to, he’ll dismiss it as much as he could despite everything. 

“That’s her isn’t it?” Tess asks him softly. She doesn’t question him with anger, or jealousy. Just a simple question but it rubs Joel the wrong way all the same. He didn’t want you here. He didn’t want to talk about you, especially with Tess. 

He had brought you up once years ago when he had felt vulnerable enough to speak about it. Four glasses of whiskey deep mixed with a couple pills would do that to you. He only spoke about you very briefly, and what he said wasn’t much despite being under the influence. But it was enough for Tess to remember and bring it up now.

“Does it matter?” annoyed that she’s continuing to push the question of who you were to him. But Tess still stares, her eyes flooded with an emotion that he could never properly entertain with her. Not as much as she wanted him to anyway. She scoffs softly, “I guess not.” 

Joel readjusts his stance but does not push her statement any further. He can tell she’s upset and that she wants more, but they both knew that he wasn’t going to give it to her. “We leave after dark, stay with the kid.” she says to him abruptly, walking past him and heading down the hallway. She’s leaving him with the kid and you. 

He didn’t know if it was a punishment or if she just wanted to give the two of you some time alone. Either way he didn’t like it. “Wait, why do I have to-” , he couldn’t finish his sentence as Tess got farther away from him.   “Tess.” he calls out to her and the woman doesn’t turn back. “Tess!” he calls out again, but she turns down the hallway and leaves. 

He lets out a huge sigh. He’s exhausted both mentally and physically. In all honesty, he would prefer if he could just sleep for ten days. But like always, there were things to do. And even if given the chance to rest for such a long time. Joel would probably put up a fight and find an excuse to not do it.

The front door to his apartment opened, you stepping out and closing the door behind you.

It was just the two of you now. No Tess, who was long gone. No Ellie who was still protesting behind the door of not being involved. Just the two of you. And if Joel closed his eyes, he could make himself go back to twenty years ago.

 The salt and pepper in his hair are gone. His calloused fingers from construction work instead of survival. Your hair, longer from the cut it is now. The look in your eyes, more playful and loving. Instead of being a glare that you hadn’t gotten rid of since you both saw each other again for the first time in such a long time. But that is just a dream. A memory too faint to even feel real. And from the look on your face you didn’t want it to.

Yea, Joel didn’t want you here.

“So what’s the plan?'' you ask him. Joel doesn’t respond to your question immediately. Hesitating on if he should even tell you what would happen next in the first place. “We stay here for a bit, lay low until it’s darker out. When Tess comes back we’ll leave.” You nod your head at the information, “Okay.”, with that you turn, headed back into the apartment. 

But for some reason Joel stops you. Despite his best efforts, despite his years of pushing back anything that burned too bright about his past. Despite the constant denial he gives Tess.  His curiosity of you gets the best of him for just one moment. 

“Ad-”  he starts to call your name.

“Don’t.” You hiss at him, turning yourself back in his direction. 

You’re angry now, desperate even. Not the kind of desperate that Marlene reeked of when she begged for them to take Ellie. But a desperation in not wanting to have the conversation both of you knew you probably needed to have. “It’s Woods to you.” You side step your balance on your other foot and point your finger at him. “This,” you start, pointing back and forth between both you and him. “We don’t need to talk about it. We don’t need to make it a big fucking deal.” 

“Never said I was gonna make it one.” Joel responds with a quickness.  

The open chance for you both to have a brief moment washed away quickly with your attitude.

“Good. That makes it a lot easier.”you state. 

He scoffs, “You sure are a ray of sunshine.”

If you were offended by his remark you didn’t say anything. “Once we get out of here, and Ellie is safe and we’re on our way with the rest of the Fireflies, we can put this behind us.” 

“We both go our separate ways and you can run off to your brother.” You finish

“Fantastic.” He says monotone

“Great.” 

You turn to open the apartment door and Joel follows you inside. Joel walks past the two of you and places his bag against the couch before taking a seat. “So who’s Bill and Frank?” 

Joel sees you sit down at the table, letting your bag fall next to you. 

Ellie continues, “The radio’s a smuggling code, right? ‘60s songs, they don’t have anything new, 70s, they got new stuff. What’s 80s?” Joel never answers the young girl's question, already annoyed at the fact that not she hadn’t been here even five minutes and the young girl was already snooping in things that didn’t belong to her.  He gets up and takes the book out of her hand and tosses it at the table you were sitting at and heads back to the couch to lay down. 

“Next time ask before you go snooping through people’s things please.” he can hear you say to her. 

“Well how could I when they kept me in here by myself for so long?”

“Patience is a thing, Williams.” you state with a small tune in your voice. 

“Yea, yeah Woods.” she mutters back. 

He listens to the whole ordeal, the playful tone of  banter between you two. Do you let Ellie only call you Woods too? Is there a reason why you only go by your last name? He assumed ‘Williams’ was Ellie’s last name. But the way the two of you said it back to each other, it didn’t seem like a standard. But a simple play at words that meant more than just saying each other's name. 

Joel lays down on the couch with his eyes closed. He can hear the footsteps of a person who assumed was the annoying girl. “What are you doing?”

 “Killin’ time.” he says simply

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” the young asks loudly

“I’m sure you and Woods will figure it out.” 

Joel hears you sigh and the sound of his kitchen chair creaking. Indicating you stood up from where you were sitting previously. “Actually, you got a mirror? I need to clean and cover up some of these cuts  but I can’t see much.” you ask him nodding your head towards the window, the sky getting darker and darker with each minute.  

Joel opens his eyes at your question to see you already staring at him. Your hands on your hips in question. The same thing you used to do 20 years ago when you were annoyed with him and asked him something. He points his finger lazily, “The door behind you.” He watches as you turn around and mutter a “thanks”. Grabbing your bag, you open the door which leads you to the bathroom. There wasn’t much for light and the bathroom amenities barely worked as is. But a mirror doesn’t need power to work.

 He closes his eyes again to try to get some sleep before it’s time to move. Ellie sighs as she walks past Joel opting to sit in the chair by the window. “Your watch is broken.”Despite it being a simple sentence that didn’t mean anything to the young girl. Meant everything to him. The watch that was gifted to him by the one he held so dear to his heart, gone. The woman he loved was just a painful memory now real and alive, now an entirely different person as was he. The day, the night which was supposed to be a wonderful night turned to hell in a matter of hours. 

Joel opens his eyes and sees you. With how he lays on the couch, he has a full view of his common area. The front door, to see when Tess comes back. The kitchen table you once sat at, now the bathroom you stood in with the door open. The small lamp used for light illuminated the small room with its white hue. 

He had a full view of you as he watched you patch up the wounds and bruises you had received from a now dead member of Robert and his crew. Your jacket was off, in the sink that you leaned over to look at the cut that was blazing red on your neck. You were applying a piece of cloth to stop the bleeding. You grunted from the pain as you applied pressure. His eyes trailed your body and stopped at your waist. Your tank top rising from you reaching towards your neck. A sliver of your lower stomach showing everytime you lifted your shoulders.

With the help of the dim lamp light, Joel could see a small glimpse of a  tattoo peeking through on your right side. Joel’s heart sank and his blood ran cold when he realized what the tattoo was. 

He couldn’t see all of it, as it looked like the tattoo seeped farther down into your jeans. But he did see a part of it. Before he could be sure what it was, your shirt was shoved down. He looks back up at your face to see you already staring back at him. With a fierce look in your eyes, you grab the door and close it shut, away from Joel’s view. 

Now slightly embarrassed and interested all at the same time, the man closes his eyes and lets sleep rush over him.

— — — — 

You had finished cleaning up your wounds a long time ago. 

The door now closed and away from Joel’s curious stare, you stand in the barely lit bathroom. Deep breaths going in through your nose and out through your mouth. You assess everything that's happened in only a few short hours.

Marlene and Kim are badly wounded. The rest of the team that was in that hallway was wiped out. One of ‘Robert’s’ goons trying to make you join them a few hallways down. Marlene making the decision of you and Ellie being “cargo” to Tess and Joel.

Joel.  A man you tried to put behind you for years now. To keep that part of your life dead and buried for as long as you could. It was forcefully dug out of the dirt and thrown back into your life without a say on either of your parts. Unwanted feelings and memories resurfacing with every waking minute you stand close to him. 

He was supposed to think you were dead. You wanted to keep it that way. And if you had the right idea, you would grab Ellie and take her away when he was sleeping and get to the rest of the Fireflies yourself. But Marlene was right, it was too risky to do it alone. You would never forgive yourself if you died and left Ellie alone before getting there. The plan wasn’t to die, but in this world there’s always a risk. There’s always a “what if”. 

Plus, you cheated death once, you didn’t think God would  let you do it again. 

The only other option was to let Joel and Tess take you both there. Let the man you onced loved so dearly, with every fiber in your being,  bring Ellie safely to the group. The man who you knew like the back of your hand. Twenty years can change so much about a person.  If there was no such thing as infection or the world didn’t go to shit, age would be the main reason for that change. Both older, and both having to do things to survive. 

You knew with time, if you weren’t careful with your anger towards him or if Joel would stop staring at you. Ellie will get curious and ask questions. You loved that young girl with everything you still had in you but the questions you knew she would ask would bring up things you wouldn’t want to talk about. 

After a minute or so, you finally looked at yourself in the dirty mirror. Giving your wounds a final once over and put your jacket back on. Open the door to see Ellie sitting at the window next to the couch Joel was sleeping on. The girl turned her head at the sound of the door opening, her thumb against her mouth as she bites her nail, a dirty habit you’ve been trying to get her out of.  “He mumbles in his sleep.”

You walk over to place your bag back on the kitchen table. “Oh yeah?” 

“He said your name a few times… and something about daisies.” she tells you. 

Fuck. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It wouldn’t be you and your angry comments or even Joel’s intense stares that would get Ellie to bring up your past. It would be Joel and his stupid mumbling in his sleep. His own subconscious coming out to bite you in the ass. You sigh, not even bothering to try to come up with something to change Ellie’s mind.When you don’t respond back to her, simply just placing the items you just used back in your bag, Ellie speaks. 

“You got anything to say on that?” Ellie questions. 

You grab a chair and drag it across the floor, closer to where Ellie was sitting.  You hope the annoying sound of the chair legs scraping the floor would cause the stupid man on the couch to wake up. So he can endure the same questioning you knew Ellie was going to give you. He stays asleep to your disappointment, eyebrows furrowed as if he’s having a bad dream. 

You sit down with a grunt, propping your feet up at the foot stool. “Not really.”

Ellie squints her eyes at you, something she does when she tries to “intimidate” you into telling her the truth about something. “If you try to lie it wouldn’t work either. Because he said your name.”  You roll your eyes and shake your head, “He could know another person with that name.”

“Would that other person have a bunch of daisies tattooed on them?” She got you there. You don’t say a thing, which gives her the confirmation she needed. Eager to know more she turns herself more towards you, giving you her full attention.  Her eyes light up as they always do when she learns something new or does something exciting. You could already tell the thousand of questions that were piling up her tongue. “So you two know each other?”

“Knew. Knew each other.” you correct her. Emphasizing the past tense.

“Same thing. Either way you both know something about the other.” 

She wasn’t going to let this go, you knew that. And once Joel woke up, she’d probably ask him and you’d rather not be in the same room when that happens. You rather be a thousand miles away and preferably still dead in his mind but you can’t always get what you want. “It was a long time ago, El.” you say to her softly. You look up at her and hope she can see in your eyes and in the tone of your voice that you really weren’t up for the conversation. 

She seemed to catch on, her raised shoulders in excitement now relaxed. Her eyes less dim as she sighs. “Later?” asking if she can ask you about it another time.

“Sure.”

Joel wakes up with a deep breath. “You mumble in your sleep.” Ellie tells him. 

You watch Joel sit up from his layed position. Stretching out his shoulder, probably sore from sleeping on the couch.  “I’ve never been on the other side of the wall. Addie tells me stories but I never saw it for myself.” Ellie states.

You can feel Joel turn his head at you when Ellie says your nickname. After your stern statement of telling him not to say your name or anything in relation to it. You’re not surprised that Joel is shocked to hear Ellie say it so casually. 

You don’t look at him though. Your eyes linger on the blue and purple butterfly taped on the window. Your mind lingers to old memories that still hurt after so many years. “You guys go out there alot? You and Tess?” Ellie asks. 

 “I guess..” he replies. 

“When was the last time?” You can tell these questions Ellie asks aren’t with excitement or positive curiosity. She was scared. And with being so young and never seeing much of anything except the QZ or the FEDRA school you didn’t blame her. 

“Maybe a year. What’s it matter?” he questions in annoyance. 

“What matters is  do you know where you’re going?” You ask him, helping Ellie ask the question she truly wanted to know. “Do you?” Ellie pushes, “So we’re going to be okay.”

You watch Joel, his annoyance leaving slightly once he realizes what you already know. Despite everything, despite how fierce Ellie may seem. Or brave or determined she may look, she is still a young girl. A young girl that is experiencing all these new things in the span of such a short time and she’s scared. 

His eyes flicker to you briefly before answering. You raise your eyebrows with your arms crossed. Waiting for his answer. “Yeah.” he finally says, leaning back on the couch. 

Satisfied with his answer, Ellie turns her attention back to the window. Looking outside in the dark streets of the Boston QZ. “Look how dark it is.” You hum in agreement. From where you're seeing you can get a view of what's outside the window. Your eyes flickering back to that butterfly every so often. 

“So what’s the deal with you anyway?” Joel asks curiously, “You some kinda bigwig’s daughter or somethin’?” You laugh quietly at his question. If that were the case, this trip would be a whole lot easier than what it probably is going to be. “Something like that.” Ellie tells him, with a smirk on her face as the two of you look at eachother. Joel looks between the two of you for more commentary on the matter besides what Ellie had said. 

“Oh, that radio came on when you were asleep.” Ellie told Joel. 

Your eyebrows furrowed, not remembering hearing the radio go off. Maybe it did when you were in the bathroom but either way you still would’ve heard something. “What? What was the song?” Joel’s now relaxed position turned interested as he leant forward to listen to what Ellie had to say. “He kept saying, ‘Wake me up before you go-go?” the young girl looked at you confused then back at Joel. You knew the old song, hadn’t heard it in a long while but had no clue what it meant to Joel. 

“Shit.” Joel whispers to himself, you curiosity perks up at his reaction and from the corner of your eye you see Ellie smile smugly.“Gotcha. 80s means trouble. Code broken.” 

“Ellie-” you begin to scold her for what feels like constantly for her nosyness.

“Listen-” Joel speaks up to more than likely scold her also for her nosyness. 

You and Joel both didn’t get to finish what you were going to say when the apartment door opens. Tess was back from wherever she had gone. 

“The spot under Lancaster looks good.” She says to Joel, placing her bag down on the chair you once sat in. She looks at the three of you until her eyes land on you.  “She got a jacket?”

“Yea, in her pack.” you respond back.

“Good, get it out and let's go. It’s time.”

Everyone gets up with her announcement. You get your bag that was on the floor and put it  across your shoulders. Ellie does the same after she puts her jacket on. The both of you head toward the front door as you watch both Joel and Tess speak without words. 

“We’re ready.” you tell them. 

With that, the four of you head out the door. You were hoping this would be easy, but that was asking for a lot.

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[fivewholeminutes]

so. wembley.

Once I have finally gathered my wits the words did not want to stop coming. This rambling is long; apologies for that. And for the messed up tenses I hate tenses we only have one past tense why is English like this

No photos/videos yet, they are still not properly checked/deleted/edited by me.

It was. Unsurprisingly. One of the best days of my life. But also, I don't remember much from my life, so don't trust me on this one. (Kidding, it totally WAS one of the best days of my life). And uhh... I have a problem with processing events and emotions, so it still feels like I have seen it on a TV screen instead of, you know, actually, physically having been there? Idk how to explain that, I still have to convince my brain that I've been there. I feel detached from it completely. But!! I!! Have!! Been!! There!!

I woke up so early that foxes were still roaming the streets. Didn't talk much with people around me in the queue (hello anxiety), but they were lovely! I signed the blue flag for iii from me & Lia, got the sticker for Projekt Atlantic, received some bracelets, exchanged some bracelets, put some sea creatures tattoos on people (LIA I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THE WHALE!!!), slept on a pavement, bought merch for myself and others (I've never had anyone to buy concert merch for before, it's such a nice feeling 🥺).

And queueing for so long was so fucking worth it! Third row, baby!! For the first time in the middle!! (Which was my downfall later, but the pre-show me was not aware of that just yet). I couldn't actually hear HEALTH that well, but I really liked their drummer, he was enjoying himself and his joy was contagious. (I've checked them later though and. Last album, my beloved.) During the break, well, you all know what was happening, I have been liveblogging everything (sorry about that <3). The moment someone in the crowd literally screeched when they saw the new masks on instagram was a blessing, I wouldn't have survived seeing them in new masks without a warning. Also, my blind ass would probably realise 3 songs in that they have different masks, I shit you not. Besides, it was super fun having a mental breakdown here on tumblr with y'all <3

When Espera entered the stage, everything else stopped being of any importance to me. I remember my first thought was "oh yeah, sure, the ladies are dressed up and moving like this and you expect me to focus on anything else that is happening on this stage?". And of course, my second thought was "I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES FOR DARYA". Naturally, I was trying to keep up with everything else anyway. I haven't seen ii all too well though and it makes me sad :( Alas. I've had a good vantage point for the ladies. Yeah. Brain went brrrrr every time I was looking at them. Where was I again-

I was still coughing at that time. I got a terrible coughing fit after literally 3 short screams during HEALTH and my idiot ass has left all the lozenges except one in the hotel room an hour before the door opening. I thought I would have to spend the rest of the night not singing along nor screaming and felt utterly heartbroken for a few minutes, but after my Holy Grail Lozenge (and a LOT of water from the venue's crew) my cough has abandoned me for the duration of the whole ritual (thank you, Sleep). Even though, when Sam told us that we have to sing, my only thought was "I CAN'T FUCKING SING EITHER, MATE". But I did. Oh, I so fucking did. I sung my lungs out and did not cough even ONCE.

But you know. I was exhausted, anxious, surrounded by strangers and had more sugar in my veins than red cells at that point, so I wasn't my best self. I really thought the karaoke was for shits and giggles at first. "Oh yeah, it's The Most Popular Song, let's see how it sounds when 10k people sing it without the singer's help!", you know. Thought it was for the recording the announcements warned us about. But then we sung Granite. Ohhhkay. And then The Love You Want - certainly not a song they would leave for an impropmtu singalong. It was then that I (belatedly) realised that yeah, something really was wrong and so my heart broke again. So many preparations! Their biggest gig so far! Even iii managed to be there! And something had to happen!! Specifically!! To Vessel!! Of all people!! That was just not fair. He totally didn't deserve this. But it's just life and its endless fucking bad surprises for everyone, huh.

I didn't have enough time to collect all the broken pieces of my heart from the sticky floor and mend them after this realisation, because after Vessel joined the singing for the last few lines of TLYW, he dropped to his knees in front of us crying and thanking everyone. That sight is now carved into my brain. This is when I realised the 3rd row was a mistake. The psychic damage it gave me is irrevocable. Do you have those moments that you will never forget? A few seconds of an (usually traumatic) experience that will haunt you forever, replaying in your mind like a broken record? It was a bit like this for me. It wasn't traumatic, mind you, but it was definitely something that made a permanent dent in my heart and a home in my brain. And I wouldn't change it anyway.

Another thing that made me think that I will just fall down and never get up was iii & iv's hug. It was. So full of love and reassurence. Idk, you could just feel that emitting from them, okay? I was standing there thinking "yeah sure, just fucking murder me tonight instead, okay. Should've kept staring at Espera only-". Ah yes. The ladies. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where was I again-

The goosebumps when the whole venue yelled "they won't be missing you" during Nazareth, oh my fucking god. On my previous rituals, in way smaller venues, there's always been a handful of people screaming it. And everyone doing it? Unparalleled feeling. Bordering on the shrimp emotions scale.

The lights were spectacular. I cannot describe how amazing the light show was. I am sending a kiss to each and every light crew member.

Also, Vessel being more emotional during the ritual as a whole. The TLYW moment was the worst for me, but there were many others. (Ascensionism and Bloodsport stabbing me with a rusty knife the most.) I mean, who could've blamed him for the emotions, he would probably be very emotional even without the voice issues. Who wouldn't be!! It was a big night, after all. God, it must have been so difficult for him, I really, really fucking hope the love coming from his bandmates, crew and the crowd was enough to help him focus on the good parts of the evening only. And!! It wasn't even that bad!!! Sure, he lost his voice for a while, but once it was back you could!! Barely!! Hear!! The difference!! I have a whole new level of respect for Vessel because of that. And for staying onstage with us for the songs he couldn't sing. Didn't know I could respect him even more than I already did, but hey. Love being surprised like that. I have seen concerts where the singers were singing way worse live while being completely healthy. Like sure, you could notice he's not using so many uhh, how do you call this in English, vocal ornamentations??? and that his voice is strained, but it was still beautiful. Take care of your voice now though, dude, jfc. Thanks for the sacrifice, much appreciated, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU- (kidding, kidding. or am i.) I also liked that he was leaving the more screamy moments in songs for us. Aiming the microphone at us, positive we'll have his back. Like yeah, yeah, other bands do that relatively often, but it's not something they usually do, you know.

I can't vouch for everyone in the crowd, but I sure as fuck did not have a SINGLE thought that the show sucks because of his voice issues. Like it didn't even occur to me. Honest to god. I was shocked when I saw on tumblr that people were leaving? Asking for a refund????????????? I was having the time of my life singing those songs. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, probably!! Who can say they karaoked whole 3 songs with the band playing for them live?? Your local karaoke bar could never. (Bonus points, you could hear Espera better bc of that! Yes, I know, you are not supposed to hear backing vocals too loud in general, I'm just saying it was nice hearing them, bc usually I hear them on recordings only.)

Yeah, sure I was disappointed after the show that there was no Euclid, but that's just me, a total whore for Euclid. It's a completely different thing than being a bitch who leaves halfway, because something out of the ordinary has been happening.

Anyways. I would like to wish all the crowdsurfers a very fuck you. Hope you will all step on a lego every day for the rest of your lives <3

Crowdsurfers and constant giving away of water (which I understand, it was terribly hot there and it was needed) were a bit distracting, I missed some things because of the commotion, the drum solo has been disrupted by me getting a (fortunately very light) kick in the mouth and DRUM SOLO IS SACRED. I HOPE THE CROWDSURFER WHO DECIDED TO GO UP IN THAT MOMENT WILL STEP ON 3 LEGOS DAILY. IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE RITUAL FOR ME AND THEY HAVE RUINED IT. Thanks to another crowdsurfer, I missed the moment the band was throwing stuff into the crowd and I promised Lia I will catch a pick/drumstick for them!!!!!!! I've had a banner for this occassion and all!!!!! And!!!!! For the whole time things were flying from the scene!!!! I have been under someone's legs and ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: Vessel was throwing away his rings. That's so fucking cool, ahh.

All in all, half of the things that happened there, I've learned from tumblr. The announcements about the recording, people leaving, Vessel being covered in runes (I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G. I HATE BEING A BLIND IDIOT), the Espera ladies laughing at iii for not coming to the photo, hell, even Vessel trying to get his attention. I have NO idea what I've been doing back then, it's a blur again lmao. And. The most important thing: Vessel's "thank you". I didn't catch it back then. I don't hear it on my recording. Tbh I couldn't believe y'all for a long while that it really happened (I'm sorry). But it did and you know what? I'm glad the broken pieces of my heart were left on the arena's floor earlier during the show. I don't want them anymore.

I would also like to thank that one security guy in huge headphones who was our warning that another fucking crowdsurfer was coming our way. I hope the headphones guy's pillow is always cold on both sides, his skin clear, his crops- and so on. Our hero <3

There was also a moment during Atlantic (another important moment disrupted. Smh) where 2 security persons dived into the crowd?? I still have no idea what was happening, bc if someone faints for example, they are always brught to the barricade by the crowd and security picks them up, I've never seen security getting into the crowd before. And because of that, people around me were talking loudly during Atlantic. Kill kill murder kill

Still, Projekt Atlantic was a huge success and I am so proud of the organisers!! They're in the same category of lovely people as the big headphones security guy

Sending a kiss to @murderofcrow for this gif 🖤

To sum up. I will forever be grateful for this band. This music has activated the dormant parts of my mind. I am making art again. I am meeting cool people because of them. I have people to talk about it with who are as excited about it as I am. For the first time in ages I really feel alive again. And life is not good, far from it, to be completely honest with you, they haven't magically fixed all my problems, but I do have something that actually fucking works on me. I know Vessel wouldn't agree, but they are saving people. And you all, lovely ST pocket of tumblr motherfuckers who are reading this, you are saving people too.

And, last but not least!! In hot pink, because I can! Thanks to this ritual I could finally meet @vesselsscarlet and @thevenomousseprent in person!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, you are amazing and I can't wait to see you again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 You've made me feel so loved that weekend and it's something I haven't felt in a while!!

#it was surprisingly hard to write #took a lot of editing and rewriting whole paragraphs and it's still not a proper description of everything i wanted to say #i don't know how to talk about emotions #and i have. a lot of them since wembley #a word of advice: attend concerts. beg for money for them from your family members sleep in tents during rain #or in hostel rooms filled with random people #go for gigs without a place to sleep and spend 4hrs waiting for your bus home in a local mcdonalds #watching drunk guys split their eyebrows on the stairs there #(not now tho now we're boycotting macdonalds #but there are other places open 24/7) #go to gigs alone #but by god. go to them if you are able to and if your health allows you to go #(and yes it is coming from someone with anxiety. i wouldn't travel or sleep in a tent alone for anything else trust me) #it is always worth it. ALWAYS #sleep token

[tuttle-did-it]

Doctor Who The Star Beast initial thoughts (spoilers)

what are they all reaching for? Can someone explain this to me?

I need to chew on this episode a little more because I don't know how I feel about some of it.

I haven't properly watched Doctor Who since Catherine Tate left. I've seen a bit of things in between, but frankly hated most of what I saw. The only reason I'm watching now is because I LOVE Catherine Tate and David Tennant together. They're my favourite pair, and I couldn't not watch if they were finally going to resolve the horrific ending for Catherine Tate.

The good:

Catherine Tate and David Tennant still have electrifying chemistry. Catherine Tate was an absolute delight, as she always was on this show.

Yasmin Finney, as in Heartstoppers, is adorable and charming and fun to watch.

Shaun was a good character, and I liked the Noble-Temple family (except her mum, still hate her mum)

I loved the trans acceptance and I LOVVVED how much Rose's parents treasured and truly loved her. I LOVE ally-Donna, and I wish every queer child out there had parents who were that amazing.

The conversations regarding queerness- it's okay for cis-hets to be uncomfortable and awkward with how to deal with us, it's good for them to talk about it and learn, as long as they still show us respect. It was fine to show that this was new to the cis-hets and they loved Rose so much, they were learning to adapt. That's nice, and it's okay to show that this is hard for cis-hets at first, sometimes.

The conversations regarding pronouns treated as a normal consideration.

Related to this, in this anti-queer era, where trans children can now be taken away from their parents (in America), and the anti-queer/anti-trans attitudes all over (especially US and Britain), I admire that RTD was like 'I'm going to have a beautiful Black trans girl on Doctor Who and I'm going to give her loving and supportive parents, and fuck you if you disagree.' He knew this would get him a lot of backlash, and still did it anyway. And I appreciate and admire that.

The new Tardis interior is a nice kiss to previous iterations whilst a nice spin on things

Donna's horrific ending with Ten was one of the things I have always disliked about NuWho. I HATED what they did to her. It would have been better to kill her than mind-rape her, I hated that ending. It was so cruel. Although I didn't like the way they did it, I'm so happy that's finally resolved and she can go back to being the absolutely brilliant character she became at the end of her run.

The reference to the Tom Baker era with the barrister's wig in Tennant's jacket. It was silly but fun.

Rose's cute little stuffed toys were fun, but the moment I saw the one that looked like an Adipose, I knew the energy had been passed down to her and that would be enough for Donna to survive. Not so much sign-posting as it was sign-blockading- just announcing the entire plot immediately.

The character of Rose, even if I don't like her name, was still an interesting, intelligent, creative and thoughtful young Black trans woman, and that is always a delight to see. After 60 years, there is finally a queer Black person in the Who universe and I really love that. Regardless of whether I think this is a good episode or not, RTD intentionally and knowingly bringing a Black trans woman into the world was really, really lovely.

I also loved seeing a Black father who was loving, supportive and kind- Black fathers are very often shown in entertainment to be harsh, abusive, distant, etc to their families, so I like that we got to see a great Black father who clearly loved his kid and his wife.

The bad:

The annoying monologue beginning- show, don't tell. That was just silly to watch. Especially with just HOW dramatic they were trying to make it.

The Marvel-looking opening, I'm cool with the big budget, but it did feel disconcerting and took away some of the charm of the shoe-string budget DW.

Why, WHY does every story with a trans youth have to show bullying? No, let's talk about this. Because it feels like every story that does include a trans/non-binary/queer character, there is inevitably the scenes that show us suffering and being mistreated. What if, just once, there was a trans youth who was happy, and all their friends were cool with it, and they weren't mistreated because they were different? What if we didn't have monsters tormenting a queer child? We are more than our suffering. And we are story-worthy despite the many scenes of torment. It's almost 2024. Let's try to have at least one queer character in something that is not mistreated because of their identity. Just for fun, let's try it.

The deadnaming of Rose. That added nothing, it was unnecessary, her name is Rose, and no one needed to acknowledge any name that she was previously known by. Please, writers out there: if you're going to have a non-binary or trans character who has found their new identity, understand that we do NOT need to know what their previous name is. Especially if it is going to be used to hurt that character through abuse.

The plot was very, very basic. I know it's a children's show, I know it's trying to reset some things, I know it's going to be very 1-2-3 but does it have to be SO 1-2-3? Couldn't we throw in a spin? 1-1.75-2.35-3? Just a little less basic? I knew everything that was going to happen within just the few minutes.

RTD has an obsession with linking everything back to everything. I never really cared for Billy Piper's Rose, and never really cared for the obsession Ten in particular had for Rose. So I don't see the need for the name, it just feels unnecessary and an attempt to link things back to previous people and events. It's not necessary. We can love Donna's daughter without her being called Rose. I know that's RTD's thing, but I don't really love it.

Donna's mum. She's exhausting. I know that's the point, but I just don't really care for her. The story would have moved faster and been more enjoyable without her, for me.

The pacing of the entire episode was a mess. Everything was drawn out and over-explained until the third act, which was put into hyperspeed with nonsense explanations.

The weird creation of bullet-proof shields from the sonic screwdriver? I know it's a trope that is just used to get out of every scenario, but it just felt a bit silly. I preferred when the sonic screwdriver is used for practical things like 'resonating concrete,' but not absurd things like creating a shield. If he can create bullet-proof shields with that sonic screwdriver, then there's never any danger for him if he has enemies near- just draw a shield. It's stupid, and immediately takes away all drama and energy.

The Doctor just randomly telling this UNIT stranger all of his woes and secrets and thoughts and worries- again, show, don't tell. None of this needs to be said. And it certainly doesn't need to be said in a hyper-dramatised way. To a random stranger he doesn't know. Even someone like me, who hasn't seen the show in many, many years, will catch up without the monologues.

Because the pacing was a mess, the third act was a mess-- they had to fly through the whole 'Donna will die' stuff, and the 'but she and Rose still have the energy inside them and need to get rid of it' and that was definitely a weak part of the story.

Just 'let it go.' What? 'It's a shame you're not a woman anymore, 'cos she would have understood.' What? What does this even mean? This whole resolution made absolutely no sense.

I'm struggling to understand why the meta-crisis energy was never activated in Rose previously? Why she didn't get a letter home from school when she was glowing? Why when the kids were tormenting her on a playground she didn't accidentally nuke them all with all that power? Why did Donna have to be activated before it activated Rose? That didn't make any sense. Again, not integral, but just another little annoyance.

Rose's cute little stuffed toys were fun, but the moment I saw the one that looked like an Adipose, I knew the energy had been passed down to Rose and that would be enough for Donna to survive.

Also, how did Donna know that he'd regenerated back into Tennant? He never tells her. He also doesn't tell her he was a woman before. Arguably, it could be the energy telling her, but that energy hasn't come in contact with him for 15 years so why would it read him and his past and instantly tell Donna everything? And if that had been the case, Rose should have known who The Doctor was when she met him. Again, not crucial, just another annoyance that wasn't cleared up.

the second we see the cup of coffee, we all know exactly what's going to happen. Couldn't they have thought of a better way to keep Donna in the Tardis?

Donna finally gets to re-evolve, and the first thing you have her do, the first thing? Is to destroy his new console. Seriously?

Tennant's energy was a bit off. Not sure why, yet- I felt he was playing it just a little too much. It felt performative. The first moment it didn't feel that way was when he and Donna were in the Tardis for the first time.

RIP Bernard Cribbins. 🥺 You would have made this episode much better.

Things I'm chewing on

I appreciate that RTD tried to show a beautiful, strong, intelligent Black trans woman with a supportive and loving Black father (Black fathers are very often shown as abusive or absent, so that's really lovely, thanks RTD). So I'm thinking a lot about that, how Rose was represented both on her own and with her family, etc. That's beautiful, and lovely. And all too rare.

I might be struggling with how Rose's gender identity was part of the plot. Particularly, Rose's comment, 'I'm finally me.' I'm trying to work out what that meant. If she wasn't aware that the meta-crisis energy was in her, what, exactly, was stopping her from being her? She was already recognised by her friends and her family as Rose, as 'she.' So... what was that energy doing to her inside to make her say that? Is that why she was feeling lonely and different? Because that's not really made clear.

It also felt a bit like they were saying that Rose was nonbinary and trans because of the meta-crisis energy that had been passed down from Donna. That the energy had changed her somehow, and made her different. So, are they saying she was only trans and non-binary because of the energy inside her? If that's the case, are they inadvertently saying that Rose is not actually trans, and that now that the energy is gone, she knows her true identity? Are they saying trans and non-binary isn't something she was born with? That it's something that can be done to someone, without their knowledge or consent? And that she suffered unnecessarily because this energy made her believe she's trans and non-binary? Would she have been trans and non-binary had the energy never been passed down to her? I'm not really clear on what their message here with all of that was. I think it was poorly written, and thus not very clear. I need time to think on it to try to understand what they were trying to say with all of this.

I am looking forward to Ncuti Gatwa joining-- having two queer Black actors in the tardis would be really lovely (if Rose ends up on the Tardis), and I hope they do that just to piss off the cis-het anti-'woke' crowd.

That said, I wonder if it was fair to Gatwa to bring arguably the most popular NuWho Doctor back just before him. The racist 'fans' are already complaining because you dared to have a transgender and non-binary Black woman on the show. They're probably not too happy about having a queer Black actor stepping into the Tardis, either. By bringing the fan-favourite Tennant back for the 60th anniversary and then taking him away again, I wonder if those 'anti-woke' fans might rally even more against Gatwa, complaining that 'we could have had Tennant again.' Obviously those idiots will find anything to complain about, so fuck them. I hope that people embrace Gatwa with open arms. I haven't enjoyed DW for a very long time, but I'm certainly willing to give him a shot, as I do like him. I'm looking forward to seeing at least the first few episodes with him before deciding whether to continue with it or not.

#doctor who #doctor who 60th anniversary #david tennant #catherine tate #yasmin finney #ncuti gatwa #the star beast #trans and nonbinary characters in entertainment #transgender women #rtd #russell t davies #rip bernard cribbins #donna noble #doctor donna #tenth doctor #lovely family dynamic and supportive parents for a Black trans nonbinary woman and that's really lovely #RTD is going to piss off the anti-woke neanderthals and I love him for this even if I don't really like the episode very much #please stop deadnaming trans characters #please stop focussing on trauma and pain for queer characters #we are more than our suffering and honestly we deserve better #pronouns #normalise pronouns #thinking about the doctor who special and not sure how i feel about it #wow disney gave them a lot of money #doctordonna #long post #doctor who spoilers #catherine tate and david tennant have such wonderful chemistry and I really do enjoy watching them together #transgender #trans characters

[jojomaxine]

Modern Diopucci AU - fight ahre

Set in the Modern Diopucci AU

reminder: past divorced jonadio. I am here just being cringe. enjoy if you do, fuck off if it angers you.

Things had been tense for a while. The couple had never had as many arguments as they've been having lately.

—Dio —Pucci sighs, lowering Verdena to the ground. He looked like something had happened— You can't keep things like this anymore.

—"Keep" what? —Dio raised an eyebrow, a slight confused expression as he stopped looking at his phone.

—Your sons —Pucci explained, encouraging Verdena to go play with the toys and games left for her in the living room, before turning back and taking a seat in front of Dio on the kitchen table. Verdena obediently went her own way, a bit curious of the conversation that was about to delve but knowing that she always got bored with the dealing of topics she couldn't quite grasp yet. After the girl was out of sight, Pucci continued— You can't keep giving them money. It's not solving any of their problems. Donatello keeps getting fired because he can't behave properly at work. He knows he'll always get what he needs from you anyways. And Ungalo is not paying therapy. You know what he's spending that money on.

Dio seemed the slightlest irritated at that. Pucci was not one to hold back his complaints, and although it was something Dio deeply admired from him, it sometimes backfired and put him in bothersome situations as well. —What else do you expect me to do? They're adults. They're old enough to know what they're doing. I'm not gonna run behind them monitoring whether or not they keep up with their responsabilities.

Pucci's lips frowned more at that. He knew that Dio was fully aware of the way he was ignoring the logic.

—You're not taking care of them and I'm having to do it instead. You know it well, they always come to me. May I remind you who their father really is?

—Don't pull that on me, Enrico. I never asked you to do that for me. You're always like this, haven't you noticed? —Dio tsked, now fully setting down his phone on the table— You put weight you're not ready to carry on your back and you get mad with me when it doesn't turn out well.

Pucci breathed in. Dio was purposefully being obstuse. Pucci was not Jonathan. He wasn't going to fall into the way his partner twisted his actions to fit a story that was not true. Dio knew that, yet still tried to treat him as if he was as naive to fall into it as the Joestar was. He took a few moments to reply, just watching his husband in silent anger.

—You know that's not right, Dio. You asked me that one time. You asked me if I loved you with all of what you carried on your back. You asked if I was willing to share that weight with you, and I said I was. You may not ask me to do it directly, but it's an issue that will fall on someone sooner or later, and you only worry about your children or mention them when I am the one who gets so overstressed and stop worrying. And even then, you don't move a finger to make things better. —He was quick to accuse, delivering his words with a voice a lot more calm than what he was actually feeling inside— I congratulate you for being able to watch your kids destroy their lives in front of you and ignore it, but I can't do that too.

—Oh, for God's sake, Enrico. —Dio made a disgusted expression— Do not call them "children" as if they're not fucking grown ups. And of course I'm right. That's what you always do. —He insisted.

—Care explain what "always" is to you, Dio? —.

The older looked plainly angry now. He was being brought into an argument he didn't want to have right now, or ever. Being the impulsive asshole he often was, he couldn't shut his mouth before he said way too much.

—You didn't have to go "fix things up with Jonathan" for us, yet you did. You don't have to do that stupid, waste of time, Charitable Church thing. Heck, you didn't have to adopt your dead sister's baby when you knew your parents could have done it and saved us the trouble, yet you did. It's not on the rest of the world if you take care of things no one asked you for and get tired of them.

Pucci looked taken aback by that. He straightened back in his place, his expression pure disbelief and slight betrayal. He knew Dio was impulsive. Dio could spill venom when he truly wanted. But in those nasty moments he always was somehow being honest. Was that what he tought of Pucci's daughter? It took some time for the blond to notice he went overboard. When he changed from angry to regretful Pucci was already getting up.

—Wait- Enrico, dear —he had the decency of at least looking a little ashamed as he attempted to go after him. Pucci took a surprised but compliant Verdena in his arms again and made quick work of grabbing the keys the and satchel bag he always took outside, and only looked back to Dio with very cold eyes when he was at the door. —I don't want to see you right now. I'm gonna take some air and think. I advice you to do the same.

And it was that way that Pucci went to Donatello's shitty apartment to try and cool down, and Dio called Jonathan for advice again.

#diopucci #donapucci #verdena pucci #enrico pucci #jjba #stone ocean

[chococookiez]

I FUCKING MISSED 4/13 I COMPLETELY FORGOR BUT IM POSTING ANYWAY

i was holding off on posting it until i had more content but i did a fantroll :]

some other art/shitposts i did with it (+ my other ocs)

and here's bonus ooc shitty doodles i did for my dying tiktok account

i haven't properly drawn anyone other than aradia and sollux (and eridan partially but i've only done march eridans for some reason) and the one with all of them was . the first time i drew any of them other than eridan please forgive me

words under the cut. i must ramble

so . homestuck huh

how did i spend my first 4/13 you ask? got up at 5am to fuck around with my (slightly drunk) friend on vrc until we got tired, had various revelations, a whole crisis that i do not wish to unpack... im forgetting something

oh yea

dumb of ass moment: i played that one fucking solkat vn literally just for the hell of it

I haven't read the comic yet BECAUSE im planning to binge read the entire fucking thing over the summer with my friends and i am fucking HYPED i have the unofficial collection downloaded on my pc already in preparation and we're planning on doing a massive party once we're done we are going to have a fucking ball with this . technically i've only been properly interested in homestuck since february which i find really funny cause my brain made the switch so fast it gave me fucking whiplash. i've literally never had an interest hit me THIS HARD in my life especially with how little canon content i have to work with currently since im saving it all for the summer (the restraint is so hard y'all have no idea)

highlights of shit i've done to do with homestuck other than art so far:

made 2 extended zodiac pins out of pre-existing pins i had, one for myself and one for my irl friend

said irl friend had to suffer through a 2+ hour long infodump where i just showed them all the main characters i had knowledge about (beta/alpha kids/trolls, ancestors and cherubs), did a hussie and had The Quadrant Ramble™, shittily explained classes and aspects and tried my best to explain The Weird Time Bullshit™ (it was very fun for me . he also said it was fun but i have my doubts)

speaking of quadrants i've made 4 quadrant keychains (erisol spade, cronkri heart, meowrails + kurtuna diamonds) (currently only displaying 3 of them since the meowrails one fucking SELF DESTRUCTED as in the paint fucking peeled itself off and ive been too lazy to remake it rn) and i've been slightly tempted to add a solkat one but i have no clue what quad i'd put them in tbh and that's the only thing stopping me (oh and a meuloz heart . just because)

very very vaguely hinted at this once before but i made a shitty character playlist. not linking it or saying who it is. y'all can just guess

i made... an eridan osu skin. out of one i had already that i liked. and i've been tempted to make a sollux one. did you know im mentally ill (something did spark this: i had a map of eridan's theme that had a skin on it, so decided to make a full one out of it to fuck with my friend who likes him)

im planning on cosplaying A Troll but have no sodding clue which one. my internal options rn are kanaya, vantases (have their outfits/something like them on hand already, plus vantases have easy horns), leijons (associate myself with them a lot (one of my favourite vrc avatars to use rn is a meulin edit even), especially considering im a leo myself), eridan, aradia and feferi (they'd be hilariously fitting for reasons i wish to not explain, especially eridan)

am probably gonna land myself with a pile of homestuck merch, either from birthday gifts or my own stupidity

so yea, just a few words. i couldn't fight the homestuck

#homestuck #413 #4/13 #4/13/2023 #original character #oc #fantroll #aradia medigo #tavros nitram #sollux captor #karkat vantas #nepeta leijon #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #equius zahhak #gamzee makara #eridan ampora #feferi peixes #beta trolls #this is a ramble post. #and today on cookie's ramblings #cookie's trash bin #MAUAMI USES IT/ITS BTW :D #it does have arms #the cloak doesnt

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I don't a hundred percent think it's valid to call myself traumatized by the clinical neglect and possible gaslighting I went through since I was a child but also I know denial is a thing tm

When I was young, like really little like seven or so, I was misdiagnosed, so I was given the wrong meds for eleven years that once even interacted with antibiotics and nearly killed me, other kids didn't exactly like hanging out with the kid that talked about going to psychiatrists on the weekly and to a therapist after school, I used to think if I couldn't buy my meds and take them everyday I'd just idk blow up or something, worst of all the incongruence of having the wrong label on me and going through all the shame and ableism without the treatment part made me start gaslighting myself, I never felt suicidal but it was like everyone else expected me to be and somewhere a long the way I was just expecting to die young anyway even if I had anxiety attacks whenever I read about the statistics and never really pictured any way in which it could happen I'd just think of how little people would mourn me and say fuck them I'll be here for as long as I can just to prove them wrong while still expecting to lose some kind of abstract fight that people projected on me

Now I got the right diagnosis and it is such a better fit, the pandemic made it really easy to test with certainty where my brain would go if left by itself and it was stability like I was told I could never attain. Since then I'm happy I'm thriving every self esteem issue I used to have is gone every guilt over expenses I used to feel is gone I have a solid support system and it's been that way for a couple years now

I just see the effects still linger in some small things. I still don't drink when my friends do even if I know it wouldn't actually mess me up that bad, I don't really know how to begin imagining a future past thirty or so for myself and changed career paths already due to it, I never thought I could have any romantic relationships despite wanting to until now and I find myself so scared something will happen to me and I'll die a virgin, people that grew up around me still show up sometimes via mutual friends or social media or attending the same college and I so desperately wish I could explain myself or that they could know me for who I actually am because I'm also curious about them in all honesty but I know in their minds I'm just the poor crazy kid and there's no way to suddenly approach them without reinforcing that, me and my classmates needed the institution to intervene in our class the other day and they sent us directly to a therapist to explain the situation and it wasn't even about me and I wasn't even alone but being there again after so many school counselors office that did the opposite of helping me I couldn't look the guy in the face even when he wasn't an old white dude and actually helped us it still left me unresponsive and jumpy when someone else I barely know got too close and needing to hang on to a friend's arm and I got dizzy and had my thoughts on loop for hours and barely got home being able to properly speak again and I kept shortly saying I was fine and trying to steer away from the others (which I never do) just because attention at that moment would be awful

And I still think it was just me trying to fool myself into making my existence more interesting than it is, like a kid pretending to be a tragic tortured soul, like I was acting out so all my friends there would pity me despite the fact I usually hate being looked at like a fragile little thing that needs help

It's difficult for me to believe the doctor would be stupid to the point of not noticing every atypical factor in matching me to that first diagnosis, the age especially, but also pretty much everything about my personality, he was either fucking arrogant enough to believe he molded me into "one of the good ones" or he did it on purpose because it's easy money when you lie to family so they think they'll have to go to you forever. I moved out of my parents as I cut contact with him and I still remember how invested he seemed in vetoing my decision and insisting that leaving me alone was a terrible idea like he never wanted me to be independent and if we asked I'm sure he'd make it seem perfectly sound and well intentioned

My mom still says I should understand they were doing their best with what they knew, that it's not their fault gender discrimination is a thing that may have weighted in favor of the wrong diagnosis in the past (even if they show no indication of growing out of those views), and wanted to help and worst of all she said that I should be grateful. I don't want to be grateful I want to stay spiteful and never have to talk to someone that looks at me like that again

I'm thinking of changing therapists to one that shares my neurodivergence and understands this stuff, part of me thinks I should work on this repulsion of being a patient and giving someone authority over my mental wellbeing ever again, and another part want to cut the cost entirely, glad to be bitter and dodgy of medical professionals forever as petty as the reason I have for it may be

I mean this in the nicest most genuine way I can but I don't know how I'll feel reading a copy paste you're valid response either It'll probably just reinforce me thinking I'm full of shit and trying to feel special if I had to guess

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through.

I can see how this misdiagnosis has had a huge effect on you, not only your social life but how you feel about yourself. I'm so glad you were eventually able to get the correct diagnosis, that must be so relieving. But of course I can also see how this diagnosis doesn't undo the effects of the misdiagnosis, and how there's still things you're struggling with. Particularly, with growing up not expecting to live long, it may feel unfamiliar or overwhelming to think much farther ahead in your life, or even know what to expect.

I also understand that want to be closer to the people in your life, and to not only feel like you know them on an intimate level but that they can truly know who you are, what you've been through, and how those past experiences shape the person you are today.

I feel that if you believe your friends think you're crazy, then perhaps you deserve some new friends. You deserve friends who are patient and understanding, especially after what you've been through. I can also see how your mom's outlook on the situation is damaging to you, as she seems to be trying to justify things that don't need to be justified.

It makes sense why you may want to change therapists, it can be good to have someone who understands your experiences more personally and can thus answer you from a more accurate angle. But I also understand why you may be hesitant about trying, because you've had negative experiences with medical professionals.

The thing is that trauma is defined not by what happened, but by how you responded to it psychologically. In other words, if you feel traumatized by what happened, then it's trauma. It does matter what happened, but it doesn't determine whether or not you're "allowed" to be traumatized.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw medical abuse #tw child abuse #tw emotional abuse #trauma details

[clarabellewrites]

chapter 2 teaser: dang!

Before Fez officially asked Lexi to be his girl, she came by the store with hands stuffed deep in her jacket pockets. Nervous but determined—a common look on her face these days.

Fez was busy restocking the shelves. Lexi snuck up from behind, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Fez," she said, smiling wide.

He pretended to be surprised. "Lexi Howard!"

(Of course Fez knew when she came in. There were security mirrors all throughout the place. No cameras, though. That shit was bad for business.)

"Hi." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, leaning against an array of toothbrushes and floss. "I, um...have something for you?"

"For real?" Now he was surprised. "Shit, it ain't my birthday."

"No, you're right. Wait, do I know when your birthday is?" Lexi asked, her cheeks quickly turning red. "Nevermind, forget I said that."

"You good." He chuckled, adding another row of ibuprofen to the rack—next to the pregnancy tests, tampons and a bunch of other lady shit. "It's in January, after New Year's."

"Oh, nice." There was a small pause, then she reached in her pocket. "Well, here ya go!"

Lexi shoved a rectangular box at him. He fumbled with the gift, barely recovering.

"What's this?" Fezco asked.

"Open it and you'll find out," Lexi said, getting some of that fire back.

So he did, unlatching the black case to reveal a singular chain. So similar to the necklace he always wore around his neck, given to him by his grandma almost ten years ago—only this one was silver, not gold.

"Damn, Lexi, this is—"

"—a lot, I know, but I found it in my dad's stuff the other day and I always see you wearing yours, so I thought you might like another." She shrugged, wringing her hands together. "I don't know much about jewelry, though. You could probably make some good money. Better you than him, anyway. He's always taking stuff from our—"

"Hey, hey," he interrupted, voice going soft against his will. "Lexi. I ain't sellin' your dad's stuff, c'mon now."

"Okay... So you like it?"

"'Course I do," Fez answered, slowly closing the latch and holding it back out to her. "But I can't take this."

He did know much about Mr. Howard, but clearly there was a story there. It felt wrong to take something so personal from a man Fez had never met.

"Why not?" Lexi protested, continuing to convince him otherwise. She pushed the box away. "So you don't wanna pawn it—he will! Won't even miss the fucking thing. Trust me."'

"Alright, alright," he said, making sure to catch her eyes. How could Fez properly explain what this meant? "Thanks, Lex. Best gift I ever had, for real."

Fezco wasn't used to people coming to him for purely selfless reasons. Everyone was playing an angle. Addicts needed their fix for the cheapest amount of money possible. For those who couldn't pay up, they offered anything they could. Food, clothes—and yes, sometimes jewelry. Even sex. If he were a shittier person, Fez could take full advantage of the situation. Other dealers definitely did.

Rue was an addict, through and through. She didn't come to him for drugs anymore. Not since that day—screaming from one side of the door, silence from the other. After they made up, his sister just wanted someone to listen.

Ash needed a brother to look out for him. Ever since he showed up at Fez and Marie's doorstep, Ashtray required the bare necessities—formula, pacifiers, you name it—but there was clearly so much more to raising a baby than just diapers. Still a kid himself, Fezco made sure the boy was taken care of. It wouldn't win him any awards, but hey, that was life.

With his suppliers, they wanted money too. In addition to that: Power, greed and a way to move up on the food chain. It usually meant stepping on guys like Fez to do that.

But Lexi? He couldn't figure her out. She didn't seem all that interested in drugs or booze. (Close relationships with addicts tended to have an affect on people.) Money never came up either. Despite the fact that Lexi was way out of his league, she texted him all day long and just gave him an incredibly personal gift. Clearly the signs were pointing towards interest.

He quickly put on the chain and watched as Lexi's face lit up. In that moment, Fez vowed to ask her out. (When the time was right, of course.)

It was the easiest decision he ever made.

*

read the rest here!

#euphoria #fez x lexi #lexi and fez #lexi howard #lexi x fez #fezco #fezco euphoria #euphoria fic #fanfic #lexco #fexi #lexi euphoria #flexi #fez is a capricorn #you read it here folks #my fic #tdf

[julemmaes]

Honey - part two

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: I’m so tired yall have no idea. My eyes are burning and my fingers are cramping cause I’ve been writing all day to get this done, so yeah, I’m very satisfied and some of the blogs that I consider big or are big for a fact started following me and commented on the first part, so I freaked out a little, but I can tell that I’ll sleep peacefully tonight because of that, so thank you all. Enjoy!:)

Oh, and I almost forgot, the song at the end is called “Honey” and it’s by Johnny Balik (shoker, as my man Kieran would say)

masterlist

Word count: 4,966

Lorcan's least favourite day was definitely Friday, unlike all people his age. Not because he didn't like going out in the city at night to have fun and drink until you forgot even your mother's name, but because it was the only day of the week he had to work at both the shelter and the toy shop.

He loved working with the dogs and the few cats they brought in, and although he wasn't really a people person, he enjoyed spending time deciding with the kids and parents what was the best gift to go home with. And although Lorcan would never admit it out loud, he had grown fond of some of the regulars - especially a mother of three who he knew worked as a lawyer in one of the offices above the shop. Almost every day she would come in during her lunch break to buy one of those surprise sachets that cost a euro each and if Lorcan didn't see her coming before he went on his break, he would wait a few minutes before closing up just for her. Elide had managed to find out this detail a few months later after she moved in and he knew she would never stop teasing him because he had a heart of gold.

The phone vibrated in his hand just as he got behind the wheel and he wasn't at all surprised to see that the last message he had gotten was from Elide.

He huffed, not even opening yet another link that would surely send him to yet another website with information on why the world was ending very slowly and why humans were to be blamed entirely. He started the car and drove off towards their house.

Lorcan wasn't a bad person and he really cared about everything Elide was sending him, but he was tremendously tired and all he could think about was how much he wanted to take a shower and pass out in his bed. The fact that none of this was going to happen because Fenrys and Rowan had forced him to accept the invitation out to dinner made it all worse.

It took him less than ten minutes to get home and when he parked and saw the lights in their living room on, he seriously considered backing up and getting out of there to get to Vaughan's house before Elide noticed his car and he wouldn't be able to get away no more.

He was sure his friend would take him in without question if he asked to put him up for a night.

But luck was not on his side as Elide's petite figure appeared in the window and Lorcan could not see her face, but he knew she was smiling as she bounced and waved to greet him.

Despite everything, Lorcan raised his hand in turn and smiled back at her, knowing full well that even she could not see him so low and hidden by the evening shadows.

As he climbed the sixth flight of stairs and mentally prepared himself for two more, he could foresee the flood of words that would wash over him when he entered the house. Elide hadn't kept quiet for the entire day, sending him voice messages and staying with him on calls for the entire duration of his lunch break, so much so that at one point he had wondered if she had gone to class and then to work. He had discovered that yes, she had gone, but she hadn't paid the slightest attention to what they had explained and had gotten half the customers' orders wrong.

When he opened the front door, he recognized the melody of one of the songs she'd put on her apology playlist, the one he'd made for her nearly three weeks earlier after she'd found out he still smoked. She'd seemed so hurt that after he'd gone to bed and cleaned the tiles of his blood until they glistened, he'd stood at the kitchen table and spent hours and hours searching for the perfect apology songs. A bit dramatic perhaps, but it had had the desired effect.

He sighed, slipping off his jacket and putting it as far away from Elide's as possible, so that no animal hair would get on hers. He would clean it later.

The girl in question sputtered out of the living room with a beaming smile on her face, her cheeks strangely red and her eyes so bright they were glossy, "Hello, handsome."

"Hi, Ellie." he murmured, straightening his back and making the bones in his neck crack. Elide approached and Lorcan took a step back, bumping his back against the door, "I haven't showered yet," he put his hands forward to keep her at arm's length, "you can touch and hug me all you want later, but please not now," he begged her.

She gave the cutest pout he had ever seen, "But-"

"No buts, you can wait three minutes for me to wash up without dying," he continued, walking past her without touching her or making any overly sudden movements.

"You're such a pain in the ass," she complained, that adorable pout deepening all the more, "I can always take the antihistamine if I get allergies."

Lorcan shook his head, turning a confused expression on her, "I'd rather you didn't take medication just because you want to hug me."

It was true.

To their great misfortune, Elide was one of the very few people he knew who was allergic to animal hair. Any animal. More precisely, she was allergic to the mites that lived in the fur and the dust that accumulated in it in enormous quantities even on a normal basis. Given that the dogs Lorcan worked with were left to run loose in the fields all day, when he came home he was covered in anything that could kill his friend and roommate in one sniff and he didn't want to have to take her to the emergency room again because they couldn't tell if she was breathing properly.

It was why every night since he'd started working at the shelter he had taken a shower before doing anything else. It was why their water bill had gone up so much since they had found out about this allergy of hers.

"It's just a pill Lor, it's not like I have to get shots or..." she shrugged, as if to indicate anything more invasive than a simple pill.

He brought his hands in front of his mouth like a prayer, looking her in the eyes, "How many times do I have to explain to you that if you take one type of medicine every day, after a while your body no longer perceives it as an extra foreign thing to help you, but as the norm and so it no longer has any effect?"

Elide grimaced, "I hate you."

He chuckled, walking backwards until he reached the bathroom door, just in case she had the great idea to ambush him and jump on his back, "Just wait five minutes."

"It was three before," she said frowning, "And, speaking of showers-" and then she did something that made Lorcan freeze in his tracks. He didn't register what was going on until Elide's shirt was too high up for him to avoid seeing everything. And by everything, he meant everything.

"Elide what the fuck are you doing?!" he turned around, screaming, then his eyes went wide, trying to figure out if what had just happened was true or not. He squeezed his eyes shut, closing his hands into fists, biting his knuckles, "You're not wearing a fucking bra." he said in a voice sharper than he had intended.

He heard her giggle, but the sound came out muffled, "Loorcaaan." she crooned, "Help."

"I can't turn around Ellie, you're naked," he pointed out to her with his eyes still closed, then in a lower voice, "God, you're naked. What has gotten into you?"

He felt her move as she walked around him and stopped in front of him, "Help." she said in a flat tone. Lorcan had to laugh, her tone reminded him so much of the way the green aliens in Toy Story talked.

"Help what?" he asked letting out an amused laugh.

"I'm stuck." she said slurring her words and he felt her move, she was probably wiggling to get out of her t-shirt. And if she was wiggling, that meant her-

Lorcan took a sharp breath, cursing under his breath and trying to quiet his wandering mind.

He arched an eyebrow, though he was pretty sure she couldn't see him either, as doubt crept into him, "Are you drunk?"

Elide was silent for a while, then giggled like a child, "Just a little tipsy."

"Ellie it's seven o'clock," he exclaimed amused, but surprised to learn that she had been drinking, "why on earth are you drunk at seven?"

"Just a little tipsy," she repeated like a broken record. Then she screeched like a pterodactyl and Lorcan burst out laughing again, turning and taking a step or two forward to avoid risking accidentally touching her once more.

"Alright, why are you just a little tipsy at seven o'clock on a night when we're supposed to be going out with the others?" he asked now a little more eager to know the answer.

He heard her snort audibly, "The world is ending, Lorcan, why won't you understand that?"

He opened his eyes wide, not believing what she was saying, pinning them on the picture their friends had given them for Christmas, the one with all their best pictures collaged on a coloured canvas.

And here he thought he was the dramatic one of the two.

He nodded to himself, "So you're telling me that the reason you decided to get drunk before you even went out is because of global warming?"

He heard a rustle and then something hit him on the head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to slap you," she said in the tone of someone who couldn't care less about having hit him, "Anyway, yeah. Global warming and forests catching fire and animals dying and plastic burning..." she took a deep breath and then continued for a few minutes, making a list of all the things she had learned that afternoon by reading all the articles she could find about why humans were the worst living thing in the world.

Lorcan stood patiently listening to her, occasionally getting lost when she introduced topics that were a little too specific, but listen to her he did. The way she was saying all those things was always reminiscent of the little green aliens, but he knew the subject was more serious than it sounded.

With his arms crossed over his chest, he didn't think he'd moved too much, but at one point Elide sneezed and he cursed himself for not having moved fast enough to go to the bathroom.

"I told you you'd get allergies."

"But I didn't even touch you," she squealed back.

"You know that's not necessary for even your soul to start itching too," he scolded her.

Elide remained silent for a while longer, then started talking again, "And we should seriously get some glass bottles, if I see you with those stupid plastic bottles again I'll kill you. Scout's honor." she threatened him.

Lorcan chuckled, "Elide you've never been in scouts."

"How punctilious of you." she scoffed at him, then gasped, "We could buy matching flasks, with glitter and," she gasped again, sounding increasingly excited, "We could have one of our pictures printed on it."

A smile broke out on Lorcan's lips and he knew that if he had looked in the mirror at that moment he would have seen the face of a boy lost in love. He pulled himself together, straightening his back, trying not to think about how he felt about Elide. It wouldn't have done any good to admit that those feelings were real and tangible inside him.

He was staring at Fenrys' face in one of the pictures they had taken on holiday that summer, when Elide spoke again.

"This is a list of things that should make you understand why we have to shower together."

Lorcan choked on his saliva. He coughed a few times, patting his chest.

How had they gone from polar bears dying from melting ice to them showering together?

"What are you talking about?" he asked her in a squeaky voice.

The fact that she was alluding to them showering together while he knew she was half naked behind him, a breath away practically, made him feel so many different kinds of wrong.

"We can't waste water Lor, it's not hard." she sounded exasperated, then muttered, "Sometimes I really think you're being obtuse or stupid."

Lorcan's eyes went wide, "Wow, thanks Ellie."

"You're welcome." she chipped.

He shook his head, sighing and running a hand over his face, "Don't you think there are plenty of other ways we can start saving the world, before we have to shower together?" he took the fact that she wasn't answering as a cue to continue, "Like start recycling?"

Elide gasped again, making him chuckle, "Did you sign the petition?"

"Which-" he trailed off. She was talking about the petition to have a door-to-door rubbish collection service introduced in their town. Something that would force everyone to sort their garbage. "Yes, I signed it."

"Good." she whispered.

"I signed them all," he reiterated, because it was true and he knew that Elide never sent him stupid petitions, that whatever she sent him must be important and it didn't cost him anything to put his email and name on a website if it meant he could make a difference in his own small way.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." she said in a weak voice.

Lorcan felt strangely uncomfortable all of a sudden.

And not because of the fact that Elide was naked behind him and had just confessed to wanting to shower with him, but because he would have wanted to turn around and kiss her, not do what any other guy would have thought of doing with a half-naked girl. No. Lorcan just wanted to kiss her and take his time in the process, savour the kiss and not be hasty and quick.

He wanted it to be slow and heartfelt, he wanted her to feel every single thing he couldn't say out loud.

"Lorcan?" she whispered, "I'm always stuck and I'm starting to get cold."

He blinked, "Yeah, you're right." then interrupted. They were silent a few seconds, "You really can't pull your shirt down?"

"No."

He took a deep breath. Then another.

"Okay, I'm going to turn around and keep my eyes closed, please stay still so I don't touch- anything. I'm not touching anything. I'll try to help you." he stammered, clasping his hands along his sides. She made a simple grunt of assent and he huffed, raising his hands in the air and lowering them slowly until he touched her head. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and then released the elbow that had gotten stuck in her shirt.

"Yay." exclaimed Elide.

Sensing that she was moving freely on her own, Lorcan pulled away again and when the sound of clothes stopped, he asked, "Are you done?"

"Yes," she said singing.

His shoulder sagged a little and he smiled. He opened his eyes, ready to move Elide to the side and go take that holy shower, but whatever he'd thought when he'd asked if she was done must have been the exact opposite of what she'd thought, because Elide's tits were freer than ever between the two of them.

Lorcan grunted, slapping a hand over his face to cover his eyes, "What the fuck, Ellie. Stop flashing me, I'm begging you."

He heard her giggle and then a gust of wind and her laughter fading down the corridor let him know she had run off. He opened his eyes tentatively, peering through his fingers to make sure she wasn't still in front of him and sighed with relief when he finally managed to get into the bathroom and lock the door behind him.

He leaned against the sink, clutching the ceramic between his fingers and staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He never thought the first time he would see Elide's tits would be under these circumstances. He ran a hand over his face again, trying to somehow erase the image he knew he would never forget.

He had just stepped into the shower when he heard something very large and heavy slam against the door. Something that seconds later burst out laughing. Lorcan could only follow as he imagined a half-naked Elide running towards the bathroom and failing to stop in time.

"Are you alright, honey?" he asked her just in case. He turned on the water, hissing when he found it frozen, but not moving from under the jet. After all, a cold shower wouldn't hurt him.

"Let me in." she shouted, slamming her fist against the door, "Let me iiin!"

"Are you dressed?"

"No."

"Then you can't come in."

A scream of despair followed by what could only be a fake hysterical cry made him burst out laughing again, but then for a few minutes all that was heard was the sound of the shower and water falling from his hair.  

"Ellie, are you still there?"

The answer came quickly, "Yes."

"Are you still naked?"

"Maybe." then he heard her move against the door and realised she'd been sitting on the floor.

Perfect, he was stuck in there. He reached for the phone and thought of something.

As he finished untangling the knots in his hair and washing out the conditioner, Elide was talking about how harmful the soaps they used were and had even gone so far as to say that they should both shave their heads so as to minimise their impact on the environment.

"What did you do today?" she asked him suddenly.

Lorcan didn't answer, dialling the number of a certain blonde girl who could help him out of this situation. Aelin answered after the fifth ring and Lorcan knew full well that she had done it on purpose, hoping he would hang up so she wouldn't have to talk to him.

"Hello?"

"Listen, something kind of weird happened and I need-"

"Who is this?" Lorcan arched an eyebrow, pulling his ear away from the phone to check the number. It was Aelin's phone. And the chick's voice on the other end was her, he was sure of it. "God, Lorcan, I'm fucking with you, what's up?"

"Funny," he deadpanned, "Elide's already drunk."

"What? But it's not even eight o'clock."

"I know, I came home and she was already like that."

A few moments of silence passed, "Okay, and what do you want me to do?"

"Well, she took her shirt off at one point."

Lorcan waited for a reaction, but Aelin didn't respond.

"And now she's naked in the hallway and blocking the bathroom door and-"

"She's what?" the friend burst out laughing.

"She's naked," he gritted through his teeth, "And she's blocking the bathroom door. I don't know how to get out and I don't want to open the door and push her off and risk hurting her. Is there any way you could come over here and help her? Help me?"

"I’ll make sure she'll never hear the end of it." Aelin laughed louder and Lorcan heard Rowan ask her what was going on. The blonde took breaths before saying, "Ellie flashed Lorcan and how he's stuck in the bathroom because he's afraid of a pair of nice-looking boobies."

"So are you planning on coming?" he asked before he completely lost his patience.

He imagined her wiping tears from under her eyes, "Yes, we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"We?"

"Me, Ro and Fen. He's the one driving tonight and he picked us up."

"Okay," Lorcan murmured, "but they can't come up to the house."

"Why?" drawled Aelin, "Because you're jealous?"

He counted to ten, restraining himself from hanging up on her, "No, because this is going to be humiliating enough for Elide without two more of her friends seeing her half naked, so please just come up alone."

Aelin huffed, "You're right, but you're no fun."

They said their goodbyes and Lorcan put the phone down, starting to blow dry his hair.

"Lorcan."

"Lorcan."

"Lorcan."

Elide hadn't stopped saying his name for half a second throughout the call and it was starting to annoy him. Then he shook his head, no. He wasn't annoyed by Elide, it was Aelin.

That girl could get under his skin like few could.

"What?"

"You didn't tell me what you did today."

And Lorcan did, so that at least she would stop slamming her hand against the door.

He told her about the last man who'd come to see what dogs he could give his daughter and how he'd seemed so much like the guy who'd abandoned them on the side of the road after not even a week and it had pissed him off. He told her the morning had been even worse, because one of the children had started opening all the toys on display and his mother, who had been right next to him the whole time with her eyes fixed on the phone screen, hadn't stopped him and it had been up to Lorcan to tell him he couldn't do it. It was only then that the woman had realised what a mess it was and had simply apologised to him, running out of the shop so fast that he hadn't even noticed they had left. He had to call his manager and he was not exactly pleased to hear this story, but he also said that they would donate the toys to the church down the street, which was responsible for distributing them to kindergartens in the neighbourhood. That cheered him up a little.

By the time he had finished his story, Aelin had arrived and once he had taken her to her room. Lorcan could finally go out and get ready himself.

***

It was after midnight, the entire group was rocking out on the dance floor of their favorite outdoor club, a place called "The Wild Night" that was on the edge of town, closer to the forest than anything else, and normally Lorcan would have joined his friends to dance and sing, but there was a problem.

A big, huge, handsome problem.

And the problem was called Kyllian.

He couldn't figure out whose idea it had been to invite the boy with them that night, but whoever it was, this person's days were numbered, because Lorcan would kill them first and then use the limbs of their corpse to kill Kyllian.

Kyllian who had now been rubbing up against Elide for hours and who had offered her more drinks than stupid charming grins - and he really was reserving a lot of those for her.

"If you don't stop looking at him like that you're going to make his head explode," someone said, throwing themselves onto the small bench next to him.

He turned his head so fast he wondered how he had managed not to break his neck, "What are you talking about?"

Fenrys arched an eyebrow, "Even if you weren't staring at Kyllian like you wanted to see him disappear off the face of the earth, everyone here, including Elide," he told him with so much as a glare, giving him a slight shove, "would know that you're not really into what's going on on that dance floor."

"He's right," Rowan said to his left, sipping the drink of Aelin's she'd left him. When the hell had he sat there?

Lorcan didn't answer, remaining motionless with his sullen expression.

"I can give you a hand if you want," Fenrys murmured, sucking on the fuchsia straw sticking out of his equally pink glass.

He inhaled through his nose, "And how would you do that?"

"You have to trust me."

"Never." said Lorcan as Rowan said at the same time, "Don't."

Fenrys looked at them both with his mouth wide open and a hand to his chest, "I'm hurt." then finished what was left of the drink in one gulp and stood up abruptly, staggering a little, but holding himself up nonetheless. He cast a glance over his shoulder at the two boys still sitting, grinning, and Lorcan knew immediately what was going to happen.

"Ellie!" he shouted, turning more heads than necessary, "Love of my life!"

Kyllian pulled away from Ellie just enough for Fenrys to grab her hand and spin her around a few times until she burst out laughing and begged him to stop. The new boy didn't even seem to exist anymore as his best friend laced her arms around Fenrys' hips and rocked left and right, increasingly drunk.

Lorcan's heart clenched in his chest as he heard that sound so carefree, so happy.

He didn't realise he was smiling until Rowan cackled beside him, "God, you're fucked."

He didn't pay any attention to him and stood up, keeping his gaze fixed on her face.

He heard Lysandra and Aelin calling his name, hyping him up and threw them a real, quick smile that made them scream even louder, as if they were fans at one of his concerts. When he finally reached Fenrys and Elide's side, the blond spun her around ninety degrees and for a moment she closed her eyes, giggling, intoxicated by the amount of alcohol she had ingested, but when she opened them again and saw Lorcan standing in front of her, a smile as wide as he had ever seen it spread across her face.

"I'll leave you Ellie, you're in good hands," Fenrys told her, winking at him from above her head.

But neither of them even looked at him.

His eyes locked into hers as they both took a step forward and found themselves a caress away. Her chest rose and fell in an agitated rhythm. After all, she'd been dancing with everyone for hours, so much so that Lorcan wondered how she hadn't thrown up yet.

His gaze ran over her body, her bare shoulders, the line of her collarbones, and further down between her breasts. Breasts he'd had the chance to see for a millisecond a few hours before and remembered perfectly. The darker shade of pink that had characterized her-

"Lorcan."

He felt his heart pounding in his throat.

She had never said his name like that.

His eyes went up, sliding over lips so full, so perfect, up, over her nose and then up again, finding hers and the music changed, becoming slower, the lights dimmed as the strobes were turned off. Elide seemed to recognise the tune as her lips parted slightly, "Lor," she repeated. He raised a hand until his knuckles brushed her cheek and when she let go a shuddering breath, Lorcan began to sing under his breath.

"Tell me everything and hold no lies. Say you're waiting for better skies," he leaned forward as his other hand slid to her hip and Elide moved closer, until their bodies were fully joined to each other and one of her legs was between his and their hips were one thing moving in sync with the music. He felt Elide's breath against his neck and had to suppress a shudder when she too began to sing along with him.

"Oh, but honey don't taste like summer no more. Stick around now, I miss you every night,"

He lowered his head even more, brushing her nose with his own. The hand that had been on her cheek had slipped over her shoulder and was now tracing the path down her back, grazing the top of her bottom until it rested on her hip.

"Elide," he whispered, breathing on her lips. She closed her eyes, pushing herself up, towards him, and Lorcan held her tighter, moving his fingers over the exposed skin between her miniskirt and the black top she was wearing and there he was. Elide was there, with him, and she was so close to his body that he could feel the heart beating in her chest.

She was there and the next second... she wasn't. Because Elide had snapped away and was now vomiting on his feet. Lorcan held his breath as she was shaken by another gag and he had just enough time to take a step back that she threw up again.

The people around them quickly scampered away, creating a small circle of spectators and casting a quick glance at his friends he saw that they had a large audience. He just hoped Elide was too drunk to remember what happened the next day.

He looked down and grimaced, all sorts of emotions swirling inside him as the girl he loved clutched at him and puked her dinner all over his clothes.

He cursed at whoever decided how things went for breaking the best moment of his life with vomit and then gathered her hair into a loose ponytail, tying it with an elastic band he kept on his wrist specifically for these occasions.

He heard her whimper and put both hands on her shoulders, stroking her in circular motions to help her warm up. Aelin and Lysandra appeared next to them shortly after and when Ellie was firm enough on her feet to walk, they stepped over the pool of vomit and Lorcan wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pushing her towards the exit.

"Let's go home, Ellie."

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just dm me or send an ask)

@tottenhamboys20 @maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @ladywitchling @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @anne-reads @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @simping4bookboisngrls @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @queen-of-demons-and-hell @miserablemusings @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass​

#elorcan #tog fic #throne of glass #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #elorcan roommates au #fluff #elorcan fluff #elorcan fic #rowan whitethorn #fenrys moonbeam #aelin galathynius #honey

[lupinblacktheone]

War games

Notes: Hey, guys! This was based on @dedlit's amazing art! You should check their fanart out prior to reading this. (I would like to post the link to the specfic fanart in which this work is based on, but it doesn't seem possible for some reason. I highly recommend you follow their blog too!)

***

Robby managed to escape Kreese's claws - by properly telling him to fuck off - and is willing to join Eagle Fang Karate. Daniel welcomes him back with open arms and is putting a big-time effort into getting Johnny and his son to get along, which is going great, the students, on the other hand, still haven't figured out a way to be friends (or at least, hate each other a little less). Johnny and Daniel have lots of brainstorming sessions, trying to come up with ideas.

"C'mon, guys, just give them nerf guns and they will shoot the tension out", Anthony suggests, taking a bow of Doritos to his room.

“You know... maybe he is right", Johnny says, putting his pencil down. "Nothing can bond people better than a healthy war game."

"Ok, how about you sort out the teams while I buy the guns?"

"Yeah, sure."

A few hours later, Daniel and Anthony come back home with four boxes full of all kinds of nerf guns and Johnny shows them the line-ups. He has made sure to mix up former Cobras and Miyagi-Dos in both sides.

"I even got Robby and Miguel to be in the same side!"

"Huh, babe, I thought you wanted to get on Robby's bright side", Daniel makes a confused face.

"I do, indeed, but I couldn't miss this chance. I'm planning to take him out for dinner later."

Daniel shakes his head, imagining the war game's outcome. Anthony wants to be an assistant sensei during the game, since Johnny and Daniel will be busy as hell. He even dresses up in army-printed sweatshirts and makes a face painting.

When everybody is at Mr. Miyagi's old house, Daniel explains them the rules.

"You must work together to achieve an objective, which is getting the other team's flag and shooting as many people from the opposite team as possible. You got it?"

"Yes, sensei", they answer in a loud, strong chorus.

"Step up and choose your weapons", Johnny invites. As they pick the guns, he tells them which team they'll be in. Miguel makes a slightly annoyed face when he's told to team up with Robby. "The rules are the rules, Diaz."

"Those are your rules", he mumbles, standing by Mitch's side.

The teams will have some time to organize a strategy and hide their flag. Sam's team elects a leader and puts the flag between the twigs of a tall tree. Of course, Robby and Miguel are arguing, because the first one wants to set the flag in the bottom of the pond and the latter wants to put it on the roof.

"It's too visible!", Robby complains.

"Kind of, but it'll be easier for us to shot them when they try to get up there."

"Did you forget Demetri's on their side? He only needs a hop to get on the roof."

"So what? We shot him and he's out."

"And then, he throws the flag down and they win!"

Chris would like to complain to the senseis and maybe, they will let the team play short on two players – which good could they do, anyway? – but before he can get to them, someone, probably Nate, solves the issue by grabbing the flag and hiding it in a corner of the fence and yelling orders to split the group in offensive and defense.

A whistle blows. The game is on.

Johnny and Daniel watch it drinking lemonade and holding hands.

“Hey, Danny.”

“Yes, honey?”

“I love you. You know that, right?”

“I sure do”, the man leans over to peck the other’s lips.

The kids start joining them, grumbling about unfair shooting. Daniel rests his head on Johnny’s shoulder.

Johnny would bet some money on Samantha’s team, since they had come up with such a brilliant plan that included a circle of fire around their tree and hidden snipers, and it is really surprising when he hears Robby screaming:

“We won!”

He’s sitting on Miguel’s shoulders. Them both look so happy and proud that Johnny’s heart melts.

Daniel lectures the kids a bit about teamwork’s importance. With an evil smirk on his face, Anthony declares:

“Get ready for round two! Senseis versus the students!”

Johnny does the most rational thing he can think of: grab Daniel and three plastic guns and then, run as hell. Maybe it would be smarter to take separate ways, but Johnny won’t leave his boyfriend’s side, not even when they are being hunted down by a mass of angry teens – and two of them are their real children!

They are cornered. Now, Sam, Demetri, Robby and Miguel are standing in the front line.

“Sorry, dad!”, Samantha says. If you look into her eyes, you’ll notice that she’s having a good time and might be not that sorry.

“Now we got you, Mr. L!”, Demetri raises his gun at the level of his eyes.

“No mercy, sensei! Your rules, not mine”, of course, Miguel wouldn't hold back from that little revenge.

“Well, sensei Lawrence, I guess the ‘enemy’ has us surrounded”, Daniel points a gun at Sam’s direction while the other is pointing at someone behind them.

“Ready to go down together?”, Johnny points his gun at Miguel.

“With you by my side? Always.”

“Come on, Demetri, let’s finish them!”, Robby urges and then, everybody shoots as if the world was about to end.

Yeah, summer was never this perfect.

#cobra kai #lawrusso #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #fanfic

[liberty-barnes]

Miah’s 1K Celebration

so...

welcome to the mess that is my 1k celebration cause i’m unable to make simple choices and can’t stand the thought of letting people down

as you can see, i’m perfectly normal

the literal 1005 people following me would disagree on that but heyyy details

so anyway

one thousand

one bloody thousand people following me

my inicial reaction is whyyyy??? i’m just a bisexual disaster who sometimes writes a half decent fanfic but you deemed me worthy of your follow?

then i started crying cause yk

but bottomline is, i love you all, you’re the bestest people in the whole entire world, so i’m gonna make both a sleepover and a writing challenge

sleepover cause i like answering questions

writing challenge cause it gives me a chance to show you all other artists and discover other artists myself cause we all need them and they deserve more recognition

special shoutout to my mutuals who i’ll tag at the end for always being there for me and supporting me through every high and every low, y’all are the real heroes here

BUT ANYWAY, ONTO THE CELEBRATION PART, WHICH FINDS ITSELF UNDER THE CUT OTHERWISE IT’D BE TOO BIG TO PROPERLY REBLOG (i tend to ramble a bit, but you already knew that)

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: December 20th 2020

Who can participate: everyone, anon or not! no need to be following me either

send me asks for:

✨ my opinion on...

🌻 cast my mutuals as...

🎵 i'll put my playlist on shuffle and give you a song

🍉 random fact about me

🦔 what's my favorite...

🍀 i'll give you advice (or just listen to you rant, if you want)

💬 last text [insert person] sent me

💌 handwritten letter

🎬 movie rec

📖 fic or blog rec

📘 inspiration behind [insert fic name], how i came up with it or if you have questions about it

🖋 line from one of my WIPs (tell me if you want fluff or angst, i won't tell you the pairing or anything, that's no fun)

💋 kiss, date, marry [insert people]

🎤 give me a song an i'll do a mini cover of it (it will be 1min long tops cause that's all tumblr can take lmao)

📷 random picture from my camera roll (you can request a theme if you want, like pictures from my childhood or awkward pics or something)

Rules:

• Open to anyone (don't have to be following me)

• Send me a DM or ask with the prompt(s) you want (two people tops per work) and who you're writing about

• Smut is allowed but make sure to put it in the warnings

• I will accept works for any Marvel character or cast member, part of the Holland clan, 1D member or affiliated, Teen Wolf characters or cast member, Maze Runner character or cast member

• Can be reader inserts or not, but please specify it in your DM/ask too

• Tag me when you're done

• All works will be rebloged under #Miah's 1k writing challenge and put in a masterlist that will be specifically created for this writing challenge

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: January 11th 2020

Prompt list:

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

3. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

4. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

5. “Can you just please hold me?”

6. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

7. “Can I stay here tonight?”

8. “You’re really warm.”

9. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

10. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

11. “You are crushing me right now.”

12. “Darling I love you and all, but please get out of my kitchen.”

13. "I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."

14. "I didn't fall. The floor looked lonely so I wanted to hug it." "Then why are you crying?" "It was an emotional reunion."

15. "There's no such thing as too many fairy lights."

16. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

17. “I love you.” “No you don’t”

18. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

19. “I miss the old you.”

20. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

21. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

22. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

23. "It's okay. It's not your fault that I couldn't be enough."

24. "Please don't leave me."

25. "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

26. "Will you shut up for once in your life?"

27. "This isn't about us."

28. "I will shove a christmas tree so far up your ass that when you open your mouth we'll see the fairy lights."

29. "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating"

30. "Is that blood?" "Yes, but it's not mine." "Is that supposed to make it better?"

31. "I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

32. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

33. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?"

34. "I can explain!" "Then explain." "Okay, I can't explain."

35. "Get out of here with your facts. Just because you're accurate does not mean you're interesting."

36. "How many hearts did you break while trying to keep yours intact?"

37. "I know everything. It's in the job description."

38. "One more word out of you and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."

39. "Do you listen to girl in red?"

40. "Is that code for something or am I just paranoid?"

41. "With how things have been going, I might as well start working at a circus."

42. "I love (him/her/them)." "Then why did you give up?" "Cause (he/she/they) deserved better."

43. "I want to ask but something tells me the answer will be more disturbing than anything I can think of."

44. "Do you think he's... *flicks wrist*?"

45. "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "Do you want me to answer that honestly or politely?"

46. "Just how clumsy are you?"

47. "So... the weather?"

48. "Just leave."

49. "Don't you fucking dare!"

50. "You don't have to talk right now. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'll be here to listen."

tagging and complimenting my amazing mutuals cause y’all deserve it

@parkersbliss​ thank you for marrying me, first of all, and for being the most amazing wife one could ask. i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and i will never stop ebing thankful for your existence

@peterspideyy​ thank you for listening to my rants along with grace and supporting me during all my simping, you’re the sweetest thing existing since powdered sugar

@theamazingtomholland​ thank you for always putting a smile on my face, reminding me that i’m loved everyday and just being you, cause it’s the best thing you could be

@lozzypoz321​ thank you for listening to me rant abt my fics and how much i hate writing and then motivating me to write again or do basic things like get out of bed lmao (we still have the best taste in music)

@everything-is-alrightt​ kenzie lovely, thank you for being the pure little ball of unfiltered joy that you are cause even thinking about you and the jump shit your brothers get up to makes me smile like crazy, you’re amazing and don’t you dare forget it

@spider-trash​ thank you for being my brother, going alon with my ridiculous schemes for corrupting posie and making me laugh out loud every time you come up with something even worse, you’re the coolest bro i could ask for

and finally, thank you @fallinfortom​ for inspiring me to write in the first place, being an amazing mum to us, an actual good role model for me to have and for your random appearances in my dreams and the fun english teacher who makes us read tom holland fics instead of english literature. you’re amazing and i’m incredibly thankful to know you

love you all to the ends of the universe and back again, Miah

#libbys stuff #miah's 1k celebration #miah's 1k sleepover #miah's 1k writing challenge

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 2

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Alcohol, anxiety, angst, hungover, languague, mixed feelings, flashbacks. 

W/C: 5k.

Masterlist

~

Although you were all exhausted from your last day on set, you were going out and have some fun and celebrate. You needed this. You all needed this. So when Ben suggested to go to a new bar for some drinks all of you enthusiastically agreed, especially because you, Joe and Rami were coming back to the US tomorrow.

Now, you were at your hotel room getting ready for your last night in London. You chose a little black dress with embroidery black sequins all over it, it also had a nice cleavage that left nothing to the imagination. That was your favorite dress, you felt absolutely confident when you wore it. You put on a pair of black high heels, you were almost ready.

Suddenly, you heard a knock from the door and gave a glance to the clock that was hang on the wall. Fuck. You were late and you hadn't done your make-up yet. You weren't used to wearing a lot of make-up, you prefered having a good skincare routine but since you've had eye bags from the exhausting week on set and your skin wasn't helping due to your PMS pimples, you decided to slightly cover them.

You opened the door and Joe was standing there, wearing a white dress shirt, a pair of black jeans, a leather jacket and a pair of black boots. He looked stunning.

"Wow, you look..." You both said at the same time and laughed. You moved your sight to the floor with blushy cheeks.

"Are you ready?" Joe asked while studying you with a curious expression from the door frame.

"Hmm...do we have time?" You played with your hands, nervously. "I mean, I've haven't done my make-up yet, but I promise it won't take more than 5 minutes. Please Joey." You looked at him with puppy eyes, trying to convince him. He chuckled.

Joey. You were the only person who called him like that. You thought that maybe his mother called him like this but no, you were the only one and Joe found it pleasant. He got annoyed when someone who wasn't you used that nickname.

"Okay, you are already pretty but anyway, you can do it, we have like 10 minutes." He checked his watch as he entered the room and sat on your bed.

"Thank you!" You hugged him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. He could feel your scent. His heart began to beat hard like a hammer. He swallowed.

You grabbed your makeup bag which was a few inches away from the bed on a table and started to apply your red lipstick quickly. Joe was following every movement. You bent over the table to have a better look of your face in your little mirror to apply concealer and Joe couldn't help but fixate his eyes on your thighs and then, your ass. it wasn't the first time he did it, but that little dress allowed him to have a perfect view of your long legs and he couldn’t resist. 

"I'm ready!" You turned around and faced him, he was silent and pretended to look at the window. "You okay?" You walked towards him and grabbed his hand.

"Y-yes, I was just...thinking about our flight" He lied. You rubbed his hand gently and sat by his side. You'll be the death of him.

"Sure? You look...tense" You said worried.

He nodded. "I'm tired but I not going to stay in bed in our last night in London." He tittered.

"Okay, let's get going!"

~

The bar was overcrowded, something to expect for a bar that opened two weeks ago. There were some tables and chairs lined up against the walls and others were just packed into the middle of the room. It was kinda dark, since the lights were red colored, but it was perfect, you still could see people’s faces. Music from the 70s, 80s and 90s was playing at the background.

As you sat at the table, you could notice that it was full of bottles that Ben and Gwilym had brought, since they were the first of the group to arrive.

“Well, you really want us to celebrate tonight Ben.” You raised an eyebrow while looking at them. Ben giggled. 

“Of course!” He said as he grabbed a glass and poured champagne on it. “Where are Rami and Lucy?” 

“Here!” They shouted from the door and walked towards the table. “What the hell...we’re only six in here. why is the the perfect amount of alcohol for the entire bar?” Lucy asked, blinking. 

“Your blonde friend wants us to be shit-faced.” Replied Gwylim and took a sip of wine. Ben shrugged. 

You raised your drinks and Ben began talking "Cheers for this movie and everything that will come with this!"

"Cheers for us guys!" Rami shouted.

Bohemian Rhapsody was a very promising movie. It was one of the most anticipating of the year worldwide, so maybe it will lead to awards nominations such as the Oscars and it also will give all of you more recognition. The best was yet to come.

An hour later, you’ve already drunk half of what was on the table. it was going to be a long night.

There was a tall blonde girl leaned on the bar counter, who was gazing at your table. She was having a drink with a straw that made her lips look big. Maybe, she was doing it on purpose.

“Hey, that girl is trying to get your attention.” Ben elbowed Joe and he looked at her. 

Your eyes rapidly moved to Joe, waiting for his next move. 

“Go and have fun.” Gwylim blinked. 

“I don’t know, I don’t think she’s looking for me.” Joe commented.

Joe wasn’t interested at all, especially since you were on his thoughts all day. But maybe, if he tried to talk to other women he could keep his mind occupied for a bit. Whatsmore, he has been in a forced celibacy for the past months due to filming so it could be an opportunity.

"Are you kidding me? Joe, she's been staring at you for like the last five minutes." Gwilym said. "Go and invite her a drink, do something!"

Joe hesitated for a minute until he put his phone in his pocket and went with her.

You didn't know why, but something made you feel sick to your stomach. Why were you feeling like this for Joe? He was your friend and you should be happy for him. Did you...like him? It wasn't a secret that he was very attractive, but you never thought about him as your lover.

Your not-so-sober state was making you feel so nauseous. You were also tired from your last days of work which were stressing and hadn't been eating properly because you were busy. This wasn’t going to end well. 

You stopped drinking and sighed. There was a growing unease running through your veins, you couldn't take it anymore. You rushed to the bathroom. Fortunately, you were the only one in there. You locked yourself in an individual loo and pressed your forehead against the door, breathless. You closed your eyes and tried to catch your breath, but you felt as if the sharp point of a knife was stabbing you in the chest. The feeling of your heavy pounding heart and a persistent tightness in your shoulders were taking over you. You began to count, one, two, three, four to remove the explosion in your brain that was sending your thoughts spiraling out of control. You couldn't put into words the way you were feeling.

A few minutes later, your breath was becoming normal. You stayed there, trying to recover.

You thought it wasn't going to happen anymore, or at least tonight.

On the other side of the bar, Ben noticed that you were gone. He looked for you desperately, but he couldn't find you anywhere.

He immediately went to the bar counter where Gwilym was standing there, laughing out loud, he has just moved his hand on Joe's head and disheveled him, showing off his perm. Joe wasn't happy at all but the girl just laughed and continued talking.

"Guys, I can't find (y/n) anywhere." Ben explained.

Joe's eyes widened. he apologized with the girl and looked for you. Gwilym followed him.

"Why don't we tell Lucy to go and see if she's in the bathroom? She might be there."

"It's a good idea but, where is Lucy?" Joe moved to the crowd where Rami and Lucy were rocking their bodies to some 80s love songs.

Joe explained her what happened and she went to the bathroom. Rami helped the boys.

What if someone hurt you? what if you were in danger and you couldn't ask for help? Joe couldn't stop thinking about the worst case scenario. He felt a twinge in his chest.

As Lucy entered the bathroom, she looked under each door and felt relaxed when she saw your black high heels there.

"(y/n)? (y/n), are you okay?" She knocked the door.

She sent a message to your group chat.

Lucy: I found her, she's in the bathroom. Don't worry.

"Yes, absolutely." You opened the door and she almost jumps. Your eyes were red and your mascara was running on your cheeks.

"What happened? Did someone do anything to you?" She hugged you tight and you hugged she back even thighter.

"No, no. I'm just...I don't know, I was feeling anxious but I think I'm better now." You moved to the mirror and opened the tap water. You washed your face.

"Was it for anything in particular? What were you doing when you started feeling like that?"

You explained the situation and she hugged you again. “I’m here for you, don’t worry.” She said sweetily. You smiled. 

You came back and the guys sighed in relief.

"She's okay, don't bother her." Lucy warned them. Joe sat beside you and put his hand on your shoulder.

"Do you need anything?" Rami asked.

"Give me that." You snatched the wine bottle off his hands.

The blonde girl showed up again. She whispered something on Joe's ear and gave him a piece of paper. Then, she blinked at him and left the bar.

"Man, what's on the paper?" Ben was dying to know about it. Joe gave it to Rami. Ben stucked out his tongue.

Rami opened it. "Ohh, what a heartbreaker you are, Mr. Mazzello." He gave it back to him. Joe held it in his hands as he read.

"I really liked your perm. If you fancy doing something after the bar, let me know 64788433"

Joe tore the paper and took a sip of wine. Ben, Rami and Gwilym's jaw dropped. You felt relieved. "What?"

"I can't believe you're wasting such an opportunity!" Ben said with a wide eyed face.

"She's not my type." He continued drinking.

He didn't feel like leaving you. He felt alarmed by your state, you were his friend and he wan’t going to leave you when you were feeling like that.  Although he didn't know what happened to you, he could notice you were tense. He would do anything to make you feel better.

"Dude, you're mad. It's your last night here." Rami insisted. Joe didn't care.

"And, what about you? Did you find anyone for tonight" Gwilym asked you, mischivously.

You almost choke. "W-What?"

"You know, a one-night stand.” He moved up his eyebrows. You giggled.

"I'm not much into that, I'm more classic, you know." You confessed.

"Come here, I'm gonna find you a hot date!" Lucy begged you.

"It's okay Lu, I wanna be on my own tonight." You smiled gently.

~

It was 2 a.m, you were all a mess and there were like 3 more hours ahead. Oh shit.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to our place tonight.” Yelled a man from the little scenario, holding a microphone. ”It’s 2 a.m and that means, It’s karaoke time!” He raised his arms and people clapped excitedly. “We invite you to come here with a partner and give us a performance! Who will be our first duo tonight?” 

“Here! These pretty girls right here are going to sing first.” Ben jumped from his chair and pointed at you and Lucy, who gaped at you. 

“Oh no, shut up Benjamin!” You tried to sat him back to his place but it was impossible. 

“Come on girls, let’s go!" The man encourage both of you. Everybody turned their heads to your table. You swallowed.

"Are you sure?" You asked Lucy and she shrugged.

"I guess we have to do it, we have no choice." She said in a small panicky voice as the whole bar was waiting for you to go.

"Fuck, then let's do it."

You rapidly took two more shots of vodka so as not to be so conscious of what you were going to do and walked towards the scenario with her. As you got out of your chair, Joe followed your body with his eyes. He swore no one ever looked so good in a dress and it hurt him to know he couldn't have you that night.

Ben took out his phone from his pocket and started to record, maybe it would end up posted on Instagram.

"So, to who do we owe the pleasure tonight?" The man handed Lucy and you microphones.

"I'm Lucy and she's my friend (y/n)." Everybody clapped and there were some whistling. For a second, you regretted wearing that dress.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Lucy and (y/n)!" He yelled, leaving the scenario.

You both moved to the little screen you had in front of you. Lucy chose Wannabe by the Spice Girls.

You took a deep breath and started singing. "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want." You moved your head to Lucy's direction.

"So tell me what you want, what you really, really want." She sang and held your hand. You both started moving your hips from side to side following the rhythm of the music, trying to remember some moves from the music video.

The boys were singing and clapping from the table, totally enjoying it. You started to feel more comfortable and to enjoy it too.

"If you wanna be my lover." You both sang the last line of the song and hugged. You quickly came back with the boys while you heard clapping again.

"You girls nailed it!" Rami gave Lucy a quick peck.

"I still hate you, Ben. You better be careful, I'll kill you." You blustered annoyed. He mocked you. 

"Please tell me you're going to sing with me!" Joe put his best puppy face that made it hard to deny anything.

"Yeah Joe, when pigs fly!"

Two hours later, you and Joe were on the scenario, you were totally sloshed.

"Purple rain, purple rain. I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain." You both sang from the top of your lungs. Joe had his arm around your waist and you had yours around his neck, moving backwards and forwards, trying to dance.

"For you Ben, I'll ruin my voice for you!" Joe pointed at Ben, who was trying to hide behind Gwilym.

Joe lost his balanced and fell to the ground, but that didn't stop him for singing. Screaming.

"I only wanted to see you underneath the AHHHHHHHH PURPLE RAIN, PURPLE RAIN, UHHHHHH." He grabbed your leg like a kid.

"Okay Joey, it's enough." You burst out laughing and helped him up.

~

As fast as you opened your eyes, you closed them. A merciless sunbeam was squirting straight in, making the oppressive force in your head go deeper. You turned around and checked your phone, 12:30 p.m, you had to be at the airport in exactly five hours. 

You couldn’t remember neither coming back to the hotel nor falling asleep. As you sat up bed with a rather unpleasant feeling, you felt a shiver down your spine, the room was cold and you were still wearing your black dress. You felt a wave of nausea and ran to the bathroom. You ended up bent over the toilet, puking your guts out. You haven’t been like this in months. The last time you were like this was last year when your ex broke up with you. When you finished puking, you struggled to lift your head up, but the head throbbing was making it impossible. You rested your head in your hands and began to rub your temples, trying to massage away the headache. It was pointless. You felt you were going to die in about five minutes. 

You looked at your face in the mirror, your mascara was running on your cheeks and your red lipstick was smeared, you looked terrible. After cleaning up your face with a damp cloth, you turned on the shower and tossed your dress and your underwear. You felt really gross. The drops of water running down your body felt warm and you enjoyed it. After a long shower, you got changed into your comfiest clothes and finished packing. 

While you were drinking water, your phone buzzed. Joe was calling. 

“Hey, how are you?” Asked Joe with a husky voice. He might have just woken up. 

“I feel like shit, I’m never drinking again.” You protested. Joe laughed. 

That's what everybody says waking up with a terrible hangover and then, they drink again and repeat it over and over again.

“We both know that’s a pretty unconvincing lie.” 

“Well, I’m not drinking any soon. That sounds better?” 

“Absolutely.” You nodded, smiling. “Can you come to my room? I can’t move and I feel I’m about to pass out if I don’t drink water soon. Please, I’m gonna die, don’t let me die!” Joe screamed, being totally dramatic. 

“You aren’t gonna die, Joey. I’m on my way.” You hang and walked towards his room. You knocked the door and Joe cursed, he had to get out of bed. 

“God, I can’t even walk.” Joe said as you entered the room. He jumped back to bed. “Come here.” 

“Are you sure?” You asked, walking on his direction. 

“Of course, come here, I’m gonna die.” Joe pouted. You rolled your eyes and lay in bed. 

You called room service and they brought you bottles of water and some snacks. 

“Joe, you have to take short sips of water.” 

“I’m thirsty.” 

“I know but it would get worse.” You squeezed his bottle and now, his face was wet. You laughed out loud. 

“You’ll regret it.” He left the bottle on the nightstand and started to tickle you. 

“Please, please, please, Joe, stop or I’m gonna throw up the water, please stop” You begged between laughs. Joe stopped and you sighed in relief. 

“Well, I see you aren’t feeling so bad after all.” 

“Kinda, but I wanna stay here until we head to the airport.” He moved close to you. 

“So do I.” You placed his head on your chest and hugged him. Joe felt he was going to die. 

Never had he been this close before. He didn’t want to move because he was practicaly on your boobs. He tried to avoid any dirty thoughts but his view wasn't helping. When he felt your fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes.

Joe wished this was part of his routine. You and him, waking up together on the same bed, him, giving you kisses all over your face and body. He wanted to kiss you so bad. He liked to think that your lips were as soft as a cotton. He hoped someday he’ll find out if he was right.

"You know," said Joe, breaking the silence. "I think you've never told me, but how did you find out about Queen?" Joe questioned.

It was a rainy cold saturday afternoon. Boredom had taken over you, so you decided to sit on your computer while your mom was baking a delicious banana bread while your dad was working on a project for his job, you assumed that he had become a workaholic because no one would ever dedicate so much time to his job on a free day.

"Can you look for a song on YouTube? It's awfully noiseless in here." Your dad said stretching his back, he had been sitting for like 5 hours.

You knew that your dad liked The Rolling Stones so you clicked on Start me Up music video. When it finished, you checked on YouTube's suggestions. Queen - I Want to Break Free. You knew that Queen was a well-known British band but you've never listened to any of their songs.

"Dad, mom, do you like Queen?"

"Yeah, well, I used to listen to them a lot when I was young." Your dad told you.

"One of my favorite songs by Queen used to be I Want to Break Free." Your mom said as he took out the banana bread out of the oven. It smelled amazing.

"That's the one YouTube suggested me."

You watched the music video while eating what your mother have just cooked. What a pretty girl, you thought when a blonde schoolgirl appeared in the kitchen. A few months later, you realized it was actually Roger Taylor.

"I can't believe you thought he was actually a girl." Joe couldn't stop laughing.

"In my defense, some people in the 70s thought he was a woman."

"And then what happened?"

"Then, there wasn't a day in which I didn't listen to Queen, and nowadays it's still that way. I really love them. They helped me through difficult times and they still do.” 

He smiled. “It’s crazy how every person has at least a memory of Queen in their lives. I remember that Bohemian Rhapsody was the first song I downloaded on Napster.” You interrupted him. 

“Which is ilegal.” 

“Shh, don’t tell Brian and Roger.” You giggled. “And then,” he continued. “When I directed Undrafted, I would drive every morning listening to Somebody to Love and it gave me good vibes for the day. It was great” 

You talked for like two hours about Queen. Now, you were on Joe's chest. "What are your plans for the next days?" Joe started to play with your hair.

"I'm staying in New Jersey with my family, you know, it's been a while since I've seen them. And the other week I'm having an audition in New York for a theater play."

"Great, what is its name?"

"It's Romeo and Juliet. A classic. I really hope I'll get this, otherwise I don't know what I'll do." You sighed.

"You'll get the role, don't worry about it, you are wonderful." Joe grabbed your hand and you rubbed his.

"Thank you. And what are you up to this week? Any meeting or something?" You inquired.

"Not yet. I'm going to visit my family and some friends and of course I'll wait for you to free so we can start with our To do list in New York." He smiled sheepishly.

"I can't wait for it!"

"Hmm, I was meaning to ask it earlier but anyway, what happened last night?"

You were frozen. You tried to find the exact words to explain him you were feeling anxious and that you didn't know the reason why. He let you know that you could always count on him.

A few minutes later, Joe fell asleep, he was still holding your hand. You stared at him for like an eternity and thought about how you felt last night. You weren't sure about your feelings as something more than a friend. You loved him with all your heart, he had become someone you really cared for, you were together all the time and you knew that it would still be like that from now.

He had a peaceful look in his face that made your heart melt. You were grateful that you were going to spend a few days in your hometown where you will have enough time to clear your mind.

~

After a week at your parents' home, you came back to your apartment in New York and now, you were getting ready for your audition. You kept reading the script over and over again while you were on your way in the taxi.

While you were waiting in the queue to enter the theater, your phone buzzed. It was a message.

Joe: Good luck sweetie!

You were beaming from ear to ear.

~

Joe finished cooking one of his specialties, meatballs with spaghetti, his favorite food. His friend Aaron was about to come in any minute. It was a long time since they last reunited, especially because they were busy with their acting careers.

The doorbell rang and Joe opened the door of his house. Aaron Tveit was standing there, holding a bottle of wine and some cans of beer happily.

As they ate, they talked about their lasts projects and brought up some memories of Joe's movie, Undrafted, in which they were co-stars. When they were about to finish the delicious supper, the doorbell rang. They looked at each other.

"Is it really the doorbell?" Aaron asked, confused.

"Yes but, that's strange, I'm not expecting anyone."

Joe opened the door and his gaze flickered over your presence. 

“I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow, what a lovely surprise!” His smiled disappeared when he noticed you were weeping. "What's wrong?" 

“Sorry I came out of the blue but I really need you.” When you leaned over the frame of the door trying to enter his house, you saw he had a guest. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had people tonight. I can come tomorrow morning." You moved backwards. 

“Don’t leave, (y/n).” He grabbed your arm. “You can join us.” You hesitated, “Please, stay.” 

You entered his house and he took you to the kitchen, not before telling his friend he would be back in a minute. You sat on the counter and he stood in front of you. “Tell me, what happened?” 

“The audition...” You played with the edge of your shirt, avoiding his gaze. “It was awful, they treated me so unkind...and obviously I didn’t get the role.” 

“I’m so sorry, (y/n).” He embraced you in such a tender and warm way that made you feel safe immediately. He rubbed your back and whispered sweet things in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. 

You couldn't lie, in the days you spent away in New Jersey, Joe couldn't leave your mind. He was there, 24/7 and you couldn't stop talking about him to your family. Your mom only needed two hours to say you were having feelings for him, despite your denial. 

“Forget about that.” He took you to the dining room, where his friend was with his phone. As he saw you were coming, he left it on the table and smiled.

"(y/n), he's Aaron. Aaron, she's (y/n)." Joe introduced each other. Aaron was a brown haired man with beautiful blue eyes. He seemed to be in his mid 30s, just like Joe.

You remembered seeing them on tv, he was in Gossip Girl!

"It's nice to meet you, Joe talked about you a lot!" He admitted. Joe blushed and you smiled.

Did he really talk about you with his friends?

Joe insisted on serving you a plate of food and you acepted it. An hour passed, now you felt better, Aaron was so friendly.

“I’m having an audition on friday for a musical, If you like, I’ll give you the script.” Aaron said while you were having a sip of wine. 

“What is it about?” 

“It’s a Broadway musical based on the movie Grease. I think you’ll like it. They are looking for someone to play Sandy Olsson." 

You almost choke. “B-Broadway? Oh God. I don’t know..” 

Broadway. It was a tempting proposal, but you weren’t sure if you were going to be acepted to play a role in a such an incredible musical, especially after your failed audition from today. 

“Hey, why don’t you give it a try?” Suggested Joe. “You have nothing to lose. It’s a big opportunity, you should definitly go.”

“And you still have time to prepare for this.” Aaron unlocked his phone and asked for your number. “I’ve just sent you the script. Don’t worry, I can help you if you want, you can call me at any moment and I’ll try to help you. Tomorrow I’ll send you the adress and everything you need to know. And if you want, I can pick you up and we can go together.” 

“That would be nice, thank you.” You smiled. 

“So, that’s a yes?” Joe asked expectantly. 

“Yes!” 

Joe was absolutely happy for you. However, his mind was being cruel.

“Joey, are you listening to me?” You asked him. He rubbed his eyes. 

“Sorry, I think I’m falling asleep. What were you saying?” 

“Can I stay here tonight?” 

“Sure!” 

He had to do something, too much love will kill him. 

#joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello fluff #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello #joe mazzello x y/n #joe mazzello x you #joe mazzello x oc #joe mazzello headcanon #borhap cast x reader #borhap cast #borhap #borhap boys x reader #borhap boys #joe mazzello angst #goldenmazzello

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: you okay babes???! Ava: The furthest from without actually being 💀 Grace: Oh my god what even?! aren't you at that uni thing? Ava: For a few more hours yet, give me strength Ava: Last night was Ava: nah Grace: last night was a sorority girl horror 📽🎞 or like ??? Ava: Allegedly a thing but I've yet to see anyone rocking a skinhead without it being a Choice™ Ava: So, everyone else did go to the 📽🎞 last night but I pulled a sickie 'cos Ava: well, that can do one as a concept but also Ava: Are you sure you even want this? It's a whole saga, like 🙄😫 Grace: duh x 10000 Grace: there's nothing anyone can tell me about mean girls 🔪💔 we can skip 📽🎞 when I've IRL lived it Grace: & obvs! talk to me I'm BEYOND concerned Ava: There are no mean girls Ava: and I think the shit I pulled is beyond a Regina level even Grace: UM no way are you casting yourself 👑 thanks! what happened?! Ava: Sorry but you can try and come for the 👑 after I tell you Ava: So they get current pupils to show you around, do the tour, answer questions, do the whole programme with you, right? Ava: Must be good extra credit or whatever, anyway Ava: There's this guy, and the whole time there's this total...vibe, you know? And I'm not delusional or sad like that, its an actual thing but I know him, know of him Ava: so I know why I should just ignore it, but instead when everyone is out, I DM him Grace: excuse you bitch I'm literally reformed but like putting that ASIDE cos this is so much more IMPORTANT!😱😱 Grace: so are we talking a phoneful of regret or IRL walk of shame? Ava: We talked for a while, so I have literal evidence it wasn't just one-sided but truly do not wanna be that girl but like, I swear Ava: anyway, we did go out, properly and it was Ava: so good Ava: but then he had to go and now I have to die Grace: duh it was 😍😍😍 I know what a vibe means Grace: he has a gf yeah? honey we've ALL done it don't even stress he's obvs not that into her Ava: No its Ava: more complex Ava: there's Ava: well, he's married Ava: but he's not as old as that makes him sound but yeah, clearly quite into her Grace: Ew! What's with everyone getting 💍👰 Grace: if Janis gets proposed to I'm kmsing Grace: it doesn't sound that complex though babes, don't let this family fool you, 💔💍 is such a thing™ Ava: Can't see it myself Ava: they are cute though Ava: of course but I'm not out here doing that myself, that's Buster's bread and butter, not mine Ava: they have kids as well, two Grace: 🙄🤢 Grace: totally but we literally NEVER have to tell her or them that shh Grace: well that explains it 🤰👰💍 he probs doesn't even love her Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: One of them is like...6 or something and the other is a baby so there's like no excuse Ava: It didn't come to anything more than a kiss but I'm mortified Grace: 6? How old is he?! Ava: Again, not as old as that makes him sound Ava: 22 ish, in his last year Grace: THANK GOD! I was literally picturing like a hot 40 Ava: Somehow that would be less complicated Ava: Unless he was a friend of my parents or something but not trying to hit every cliche before I even start Uni Grace: UGH! remember when I went to the fair with that lad who turned out to be 19 & everyone lost it like I was being groomed 🙄 Grace: such a drama Grace: this seriously doesn't sound that bad Grace: either he's bored of her or having his 🍰 & 😋 Grace: who stopped it at 😘😘? Ava: Well, he did turn out to be a creep didn't he Ava: but he could've been a 15 year old creep as easily, I see your point Ava: He did Ava: his phone kept going off Ava: it must've been her Grace: yeah & like I totally worked it out for myself from reading the vibe Grace: same as you last night Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: did he answer? did you literally have to sit there 🤐!!! Ava: I think I might've got the vibe seriously wrong Ava: well, no Ava: I don't know Ava: we were in a club, he couldn't Ava: but we left real quick and he hasn't looked at me today so that's been fun Grace: oh girl please Grace: trust, as someone who has gotten the vibe wrong WAY more times than we need to admit outside of this convo, you so didn't Grace: he's having a freakout, we've ALL been there too, yeah? Ava: Clearly Ava: 😂 Ava: Oh God Ava: I just need to pretend this never happened and peace Grace: come over Grace: we'll go out & make some new drama happen Grace: soon as you do, you'll know if he's bothered Ava: Sounds good Ava: If I didn't have two other Unis to hit before Summer officially starts 🙄 Grace: OMG you're so extra Ava: Rude 😂 Ava: Not as if I can go here now, is it? Ava: I'm burning through options, girl Grace: ILY for it 💜 Grace: did you wanna go there for real? Ava: Not hugely Ava: it was in my top 5 but its definitely not 🥇 Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: it was obvs a 🏆💋 so Ava: seriously Ava: though I'm probably gonna find out that he's made time for every girl on this program Grace: did you pick up on any other vibes? Ava: I don't think so Ava: He did say other girls were flirting with him though Grace: 😂 boys always say that Grace: literally will have been hitting refresh waiting on you 💬 Ava: Or, they really were and that was a subtle dig that I just ignored Ava: 🤡🤡 Grace: ugh don't Grace: nobody's looked hotter the morning after babes Grace: he'd be the 🤡 Ava: Minus the HP🗲 scar Ava: idk where that came from, which doesn't bode well for how trashed I must've been Grace: if he was as wasted maybe he doesn't remember & that's why he blanked you cos everything is Grace: 👋 been there Ava: I wish Ava: like I said, we know each other Grace: do you know his 👰? Ava: 😶 Ava: Just kill me now Grace: has he posted anything? Ava: About how much he 💕 his wife and kids? Ava: Fuck knows Grace: well yeah or idk how wasted he was Grace: anything to go on Ava: His 👰 would not approve Grace: if he doesn't have like a private snap he's no 💔 Ava: Wasn't my first question Ava: Probably does but bit late to ask now Grace: you literally could Grace: cringe but no more cringe than running into him playing happy families when you go get coffee Ava: I'm just gonna leave it Ava: Not a moment too soon Grace: 👌👌💜 Ava: When the alcohol leaves my system my head will be less 🤯 Ava: Standard Grace: his too though Grace: maybe he'll come to you Grace: 🤞 yeah or 🤞 no? Ava: I don't know what I want Ava: or feel about any of it Ava: It's better to just assume nah, a pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment Grace: mhmm Ava: Shut up Ava: I'm confused and hungover, I don't know anything 🙄😏 Grace: no shade Ava: I know Ava: This is too extra Ava: even from me, right Grace: you can wear the 👑 until I earn it back Grace: cos duh who's more extra Grace: me, this hoe Ava: 😂 I'm ready for it Grace: you gotta let me have it there's no 😘💖😍 in my 🔮 Ava: Not even a little? Grace: there was a little but it got too much Grace: too close to being like Grace: I can't Grace: I'm out Ava: I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, honestly Grace: makes me feel like I'm cracking up Grace: no thanks Ava: Preaching to the converted today Grace: 🙌 Ava: I'll definitely come over some point this Summer though Grace: YAY Grace: I so need you Ava: I think me and the 'rents are going the first two weeks, then I'm going with my friends the last two Ava: so sometime in the middle to play with Grace: ugh if only my mum and dad were organised about anything ever Grace: god knows when or where they'll spring a hol 🙄🙄 Ava: All fun and games Ava: least you get more space these days, I guess Grace: if they're gonna be annoying I'll just bring you with 🤷 Ava: Three holidays would be a record Grace: hot older lad who?! 😂 Grace: Brazil is on another level Ava: If there's sun and sea, I'm happy Grace: you'll be sooo 😊 Ava: 😘 Grace: 💜 Ava: I did not think that would be such a rant Ava: IOU a coffee, I'll ping you the funds rn forreal Grace: As if! like I've NEVER done you that way Grace: shhh Ava: It's done Ava: Consider it a reminder we need a proper catch up when my head is less fried Grace: 👌👌 fine Ava: Don't be mad, it is essential some good happens today Grace: It's fine babes, promise Ava: Good Ava: I better try and finish this essay thing Ava: Or at least make a better start Grace: or at least get yourself a coffee & put some lipstick on Ava: Cheers, I know I look clapped 😂 Grace: shut up Grace: you do not! Ava: I wouldn't wanna chat to me either tbh Grace: Girl, stop Grace: this convo has been wild & I'm living Ava: I meant him, not you 😉 Ava: Only subjected socials to one pic, like Grace: well duh he wants to kiss you again not have a chat Grace: if you wanna talk you'll have to Grace: there's only one kind of convo lads ever start Ava: Hmm Ava: Have better luck with this essay than thinking of something worth saying Grace: what do you wanna say? Grace: like if you could just Ava: Christ Ava: firstly, what the fuck? Grace: he can't shade you for starting there Ava: Though I initiated it so, ugh Grace: he didn't have to go along with any of it Grace: his wife & kids were literally waiting at home for him so Grace: you like deserve to know if there are other girls or not Ava: What's more insane though Ava: asking around every girl on this course, or asking him Ava: There are definite drawbacks either way from where I'm sitting Grace: you said you know him, how much does he lie? Grace: asking him will be more than cringe if you can't believe a word, it'll be pointless Ava: I don't know him like that but Ava: I suppose I've heard that he's a typical lad in most regards so Grace: yeah Ava: but that's from one source so Ava: who's to say they're 100% reliable Grace: right Grace: I'll stalk the other girls, obvs am insane so Ava: No Ava: 'cos then I'll have to tell you who he is Ava: and it'll all get out of hand Grace: OMG do I know him??! Ava: How would you? Ava: 'course not Grace: then why does it matter if you tell me or not? Ava: I'll sort it myself Grace: Ava Grace: is it already out of hand? Ava: That'd depend on who you asked too Grace: I'm asking you Ava: I've got this Grace: promise Ava: 🤞 Grace: 👌

[43th3rz30n]

A fluffy curse, chapter 2

--Let's travel a bit--

"Harmony," Raika says, holding Harmonys hands "Is it true that true loves kiss will get rid of this..." He began to wag his tail slightly. "Yeah but you're kinda cute as a Neko..." Harmony giggled, caressing Raikas cheek. Raika purred slightly "Stop.... you're making me purr..." He smiled slightly. "Well.... How about it? Shall we try?" Harmony asked, her eyes sparkling in the light. "Try what?" He blinked. "Kiss, silly" She giggled again, bringing her face closer to his. "Ah, I should've guessed..." Raika then brought his face closer to Harmonys, allowing them to kiss. Once they kissed, Harmony watched as Raikas ears and tail disappeared, meaning he was finally normal. "Thank you" He gave her a warm smile "Now then.... what's say we-"

But.... all that was just a simple dream.

"GAH! IM AWAKE!" Harmony shot up, her breathing heavy. "Harmony, are you okay?" Raika asked, hopping onto her bed. "I-im fine.... it's just... I had a dream and..." Harmony tried to explain what had happened, but she couldn't. "Anyways, the other two have been whining and meowing for food. I told them to wait, but they refused" Raika pounced down from the bed and left the room. "Oh no.... that could only mean one thing..." Harmony sighed, getting out of bed and leaving her room to enter the kitchen. There, she found Lan and Chaud snacking on some cat biscuits they had knocked onto the floor. "You guys.... seriously?" Harmony nudged them away with a dustpan and brush and began to clean up their mess. "We where hungry..." Lan whined as he began to try and shove as many biscuits into his mouth as he could. "Why not just wait next time?" Harmony sighed again "I really don't wanna be doing this kind of stuff..... guess I'll have to manage..." she placed the floor biscuits into the bin "Now then.... Lets get you lot fed then...." She then opened the cupboard again to both put away the biscuit box and get out a fresh tin of cat food. "Don't worry, I'll get you all some water in a minute..." She said, putting the cat food in their bowls. I forgot to mention this, but they where both appropriately coloured and had their names on them so they could tell who's is who's. Once done, she picked up their water bowls and, of course, filled them with water. "Now then..... I gotta make myself some food...." Harmony placed their water bowls back down.

"You guys wanna go out and explore a bit today?" Lan asks, still munching on his food. Chaud shook his head "After yesterday, let's not.... that dog could still be out there..." Both Chaud and Lan then shivered from just the sheer memory of the dogs barking. Raika, on the other hand, didn't, as he didn't go with them and was asleep most of the time. "Hm? So, you guys encountered.... him...." Harmony growled at the word 'him'. "Do you know that dog?" Lan began to almost shove his entire head in his water bowl. Harmony nods "Yes. His name is Inferno and he recently ran away from some thing where people force animals to fight. It's a tv show, but I only watch it so I can take notes in hope I can someday shut it down and save those poor animals..." she explained "And please don't drown yourself, Lan...". Lan pulled his head from the water bowl and began to gasp for air. "What're you trying to do, exactly?" Chaud asks "I'm sure that's not how to drink water....". "I do what I want, Chaud. It's my life" Lan huffed in response, shoving his head back in his water bowl for another 5 seconds before pulling back up and properly drinking the water.

"What. The. Fuck." Chaud would facepalm, but he's a cat, so he obviously can't. He just decides to walk off, but finds himself inside a small room under the stairs(*distant harry potter theme*). Lan had finally finished his and left no trace.... apart from some minor splashes of water and a few pieces of cat food. Raika had actually finished before the both of them, but was just sitting near his two bowls. "Hm? You haven't left yet?" Harmony said, crouching down and gently petting Raika. Raika growled as she did so, causing her to pull away. "So, you don't exactly like being pet, do you..." Harmony sighed. Raika mumbled something under his breath, getting up and walking off, putting his tail up as if to say 'hecc off'. "Wait did a 12 year old just swear a few seconds ago?" Harmony stood back up "I think so....". "I'm so bored..." Lan began to roll around on the sofa, before accidentally turning on the tv via rolling on the remote. The other two cats stop what they're doing and come over to inspect what was going on. Lan pounces off of the sofa and joins Chaud and Raika in watching the tv, sitting in the middle of the two. What was on tv appeared to be some horror movie. The movie was titled 'The beast in the portrait'. When one of the beasts formed from a portrait that was hung up on the wall and began running towards the screen, Lan began to loudly meow. "Lan, shut it!" Chaud gently bonked Lan on the head. Lan growls "Alright, Alright....". "I heard this movie is rated 18. We shouldn't be watching this." Raika spoke. "We'll be fine, Raika." Lan replied, eyes fixed on the tv screen. Then, a spooky thing happend, causing the three to hide in all different places, scattering god knows what all over the place. Harmony heard the spooked cat noises and entered the front room "Really? You're watching THIS of all movies?" She growled, turning off the tv. Chaud came out of hiding, with Raika following, who was dragging Lan along.

"Look, I'm going out today to get you three some toys and a cat flap. Can you stay out of trouble, please?" Harmony sighed, facepalming. Raika and Chaud nodded. "Oh come on, aren't we too old for toys?" Lan walked up to her and sat down. "It's just to keep you entertained." She then walked to the back door and opened it, watching as the three ran out "And stay safe!" She called out as she closed the door. "Alright. Now let's go!" Lan jumped up on the wall and ran off. Raika and Chaud looked at eachother before following the Havana Brown towards the town. "It feels so good to be back!" Lan stretched. "But Lan, this place is pretty dangerous..." Chaud lands next to Lan after jumping off a trash bin. Raika began to sniff the area, curiously. Lan signalled for the two to follow him. Okay now I know this is a bad time to cut but

-Meanwhile, in the cyberworld-

"I'm still wondering why that cat was meowing at me" Megaman said to both Protoman and Searchman. "Normally, cats meow quite alot" Protoman replied. "Yeah, Well.... I feel like this one was trying to talk to me..." Megaman done that hmm emoji thing idk how to describe it. "Did you see the collars?" Searchman spoke up "They had our Navi marks on them. Perhaps they where actually our NetOps". "But they're cats..... how can they?" Protoman is SERIOUSLY that dumb in this fanfic? I mean... he thinks he's god.... AAAANYWAYS, it eventually clicked. "THE MYSTICTINY!" They all said in unison. "I mean, it was pretty obvious" Searchman sighed. Megaman just laughed, but Protoman.... he just zoned out

'Why did Harmony have to exist'

Back with the main trio now. Yeah, the cyberworld talk was short, I know. I'm sorry. Will have longer parts for them

Anyways, Lan was leading the group through town, as he had more knowledge from previous trips to Aurora. "What should we do today...." Lan looked up at the sky, not watching where he was going. "There's not much to do as a cat other than walk around.... and watch where you're going!" Raika began to chase Lan as he began to wander off in a different direction. Chaud sighed and followed. Lan ended up bumping into a wall..... so it seemed. It was the same dog from yesterday. "H-hi.... uhh..." Lan took a few steps back as the dog growled "Don't worry, w-we're leaving..." he then ran off, leaving Chaud and Raika behind. "What's say we follow him?" Chaud suggested as the dog walked closer. Raika nods "Yeah...." and the two where off like a rocket. They soon found Lan in the same bakery as yesterday. He had a piece of pastry in his mouth. This time it was larger than the last one. It was actually a full one... whatever that means. Anyways, Lan brought the pastry over to the two and placed it down infront of them. "It's a little buuut..... we'll manage" Lan took a bite of the pastry, only to yowl out in pain "GAH! I WAS WRONG! WE WONT MANAGE" He whimpered. Chaud chuckled "Just let it cool down, then we'll manage, just like you said".

After a long while of waiting, Chaud and Lan began to eat the pastry, but Raika didn't. "Raika, what're you waiting for? Dig in?" Lan said to the Russian Blue, mouth full of food. Raika was silent. "Okay, fine, I stole it... but it was worth it" Lan just openly admitted to stealing. Ok. Cool. Don't steal, kids(Oh god without the comma that could turn unusually dark quick). "That's exactly why I'm not even taking a bite out of it...." Raika huffed. "Oh come on! Just because it's stolen doesn't mean - oh I dunno - that it's poisoned or something" Lan then procceeded to take some meat that was inside of it out and handed it to Raika. Raika looked and sniffed it before eating it. "See, it's nothing bad..." Lan then began to eat the pastry again. 'I mean.... it'll be fine, won't it?' Raika thought to himself as he took a small bite of the pastry. He deemed the pastry okay and began to eat it with the other two and in a matter of minutes, the pastry was gone. "Alright, what next?" Lan said, shaking as if he was drying himself. The other two practically shrugged, but they can't because they're cats. "Let's just have a look around, since there's nothing really to do as cats" Chaud suggested "And maybe it might help us get around here the next time we come". "If we ever get turned back into humans, that is" Raika added. "I'm sure we will, Raika! Now come on! Let's go!" Lan then ran off to explore, Raika and Chaud following. "At this point we're just going back to places we've already been...." Chaud sighs. "Hey, I don't exactly wanna get lost" Lan growled slightly "..... oh, hey... it's the fountain again" He then ran towards the fountain, allowing himself to sit on the wall thing idk what it's called. The other two did the same thing, but Chaud felt a little evil and had the urge to shove Lan in. He slowly raised a paw, but noticed Raikas expression as the eldest cat shook his head. Chaud sighed in defeat but decided to then get behind Raika and shove HIM in. "Chaud? Why'd ya do that?" Lan asked, giggling. "I don't know. I just felt like it" Chaud grinned in response. Raika growled and, with his mouth, grabbed Chauds front right leg and pulled him in. "Raika!" He yelled "What was that for!?". "Hey, you did it to me. It only seems fair that I do it to you, too" Raika gave Chaud the same grin he was wearing a few seconds ago.

They then noticed that Lan was gone. "Hey wait- where's Lan?" Raika asked. Soon, they heard footsteps - or should I say 'pawsteps' - coming closer. "Oh no..." The Angora and Russian Blue said in sync as they noticed what was about to happen. "CANNON BALL!" They hear Lan shout as the Havana Brown dives in, unfortunately landing ontop of the two. "Lan!" They shout as Lan gets off of them. "Sorry." He laughed. Chaud then charged at Lan and knocked him over. "Alright, fair.... " Lan got up and shook off, getting water all over Chaud, dispite the fact he was already soaking. "We should get going now.... plus, cats can't shake off as easily as dogs" Raika says, hopping out from the fountain and shaking off, the younger two joining him. Lan soon walked off, leaving the other two behind. He eventually found himself sneaking inside of some shop. As he entered, he saw all sorts of candy, ranging from bubblegum to rock candy. I mean.... He had wandered into a candy shop and boy was it large! Lan knew he would have to come here when he's human again. "Wow.... look at all this candy!" He gasped "This all looks so good!" Lans mouth began to water, but then he shook his head and snapped himself out of it "No. I'm a cat.... cats can't eat candy". Even though he was a cat, Lan decided to take a small look around until he reached a section that had a sign that read 'Pet candy'. " 'Pet candy'?" He tilted his head as he walked over to it. There, he found all sorts of pet friendly candy for all sorts of animals. Ranging from cats to birds, there was a candy type for everyone. "Woah... they do this stuff?" Lan made his way over to a basket with a picture of a cat on "This must be the cat section...." He then took one of the candies from the basket. It was in a wrapper, so Lan figured out how to open it with his mouth. Underneath the wrapper revealed a brightly coloured stick of what appeared to be candy especially designed for cats. Lan took a small bite of the candy and meowed happily at its strawberry taste. He eventually ate the whole thing. "Wait.... do I have to pay for all of this when I'm a human..." Lan gulped and fled the scene, leaving an empty wrapper behind. He eventually bumped into Raika and Chaud, who appeared to be covered in dirt. "We where looking for you!" Raika hissed. "I even got my fur dirty!" Chaud, too, hissed. "Oh come on! I mean, I recently discovered that Aurora has invented pet friendly candy!" Lan smiled, pushing past the other two "We have the rest of the day ahead of us, so let's go explore!" He ran off again. "Will he ever stop running off?" Chaud sighed, angrily, as he and Raika chase Lan. It soon got crowded, and the three had to stick together.

"We should head back.... it's getting a bit too crowded..." Lan says, almost stepping on Raikas paw as they where literally sticking together. "Yeah, but which way is back?" Chaud asks, turning his head to look around. "We had better not be lost..." Lan, without thinking, runs on ahead. "Lan! Wait! We're supposed to stick together!" Chaud calls out to his friend as he and Raika chase him..... again. The area started to get less crowded as they soon found Lan, walking around in circles. Chaud then tackles Lan for no actual reason. "Quit running off, would you!?" He yelled at the smaller cat. "I can't help it!" Lan yelled back, kicking Chaud off of him and getting up. Chaud began to growl and hiss at Lan before turning around and walking away "Let's just go home before someone gets hurt...." he says, taking another path back home. Raika and Lan are quick to follow him.

Once they arrived back at home, They quickly rushed to get through the door, but little did they know..... it wasn't open and they all..... went through it? It appears that Harmony had installed a cat flap and in a single file, they fell through it, Raika being the last one to come through. "Welcome back, you three" Harmony greeted the fluffy trio as they walked over to their bowls, which had food and water already in them. Lan was quick to dig in to his food, but Raika and Chaud just went off to sleep. "Hey wait...." Harmony stopped the two before they could go to sleep. "Hm? What is it?" Raika asked. "I got you these" She held out two collars that looked like the ones they had on already. This time, they had their names on them and, while it wasn't visible, it had a crystal inside that could allow them to communicate to humans and NetNavis, but also talk to animals, which they already could, as they where animals. She took of their current collars and placed the new ones on. Lan came over to see what was going on, as he was eating and wouldn't let Harmony touch him while he was doing so. "What's going on?" He jumped onto the sofas arm. "I just gave Chaud and Raika new collars..." She replied, getting out a third. This one was the same. Identical to Lans current collar but with his name on it and a crystal that allowed him to communicate to humans and NetNavis. Lan was hesitant at first to get a new collar, but soon he allowed Harmony to take off his current and put on his new. "Hey, you guys wanna explore some more tomorrow?" Lan pounced on both Raika and Chaud, sitting inbetween the two. "Let's have a day in tomorrow...." Raika moved away slightly to curl up and go to sleep. Chaud sighs, also moving away to do what Raika did. Lan didn't. Lan wanted to go back outside to explore but.... he couldn't. He decided to curl up on Harmonys bed and go to sleep.

#megaman battle network #lan hikari #ijuuin enzan #exe laika #harmony bell(oc) #i forgot the tags lmao

[immiesradio-blog]

You’re My Best Friend ~ Roger Taylor x OC 7.1

Chapter 7.1

September 1968 Barbara's P.O.V

"Here, I've got you breakfast," I hear Stella mumble, her voice was faded and quiet as I had still not woken up yet physically from the night before, "Barb."

My eyes flickered and blinked quickly, opening my eyes and seeing a blurry, kind of disfigured Stella standing over my bed with a tray of food. Her hand reached towards me and lightly shook me until my eyes widened, "Stella!"

"What? I was just waking you up," she explains, laughing a little when she sees my unamused facial expression, "With food."

I can't help but smile a little at her kindness, "Thank you, I'm sorry, I had quite the night last night."

She placed the tray of breakfast on my lap as I sat myself up so that my back was resting against the head board. Stella then took a seat at the foot of my bed, lifting her feet up onto the bed, "I can tell."

Silence took over as I remembered the events of last night, seeing Roger again for the first time in years. I thought that maybe it had been some silly dream, but I now knew that it wasn't. I felt consumed by confusion, happiness, nervousness, terror, all of these emotions took over me as I thought about the idea of being able to talk to him again, but I was also in a state of panic due to the fact that I was very sure that he had forgotten about me. I wanted to talk to him, to hug him, to forget about our petty fight, that stupid argument, but what if he didn't feel the same if I confronted him? I'm pretty sure I'd lock myself in my own wardrobe and stay there for the rest of my life.

I just wanted my best friend back.

"Barb? God you're all shook up, what happened last night?" I can hear Stella worry about me, leaning forward as she places a hand on my arm, "I'm worried about you, you came back so early last night."

I frowned, looking down at the tray of food on my lap, avoiding any kind of eye contact that would give anything away, I also shook my head quickly, "I'm fine, Stel, it's okay."

"It's not, you can talk to me, you know that right?" She asks as she reaches for the tray, moving it off of my lap and placing it beside me, "You're not fine."

I stayed silence, keeping my eyes on my fidgety fingers beginning to grow uncomfortable about the lack of response or words from Stella, "Tell me, please."

I let out a groan, defeated as I begrudgingly places my hand over my forehead, "Fine, fine, I- er, I saw him."

She squinted her eyes at me, extremely perplexed, "You're not making sense. You saw who?"

I rolled my eyes, "Roger."

"Who's Roger?" She asks, still with the same confused expression on her face, leaning further forward.

I groan again in annoyance, not wanting to go into further depth about the guy, it was not something that I was willing to talk about at all, "Stella, I've told you about him, remember? The day I went on that date with Freddie. My old best friend? The argume-,"

Her mouth comforts into an 'O' shape, her eyes widening, "Him?!"

"Him."

"Why are you upset? That's amazing?" She asks, a smile broke out onto her face as she grins, "This could be a great opportunity for you."

"I-, I don't kno-,"

"what do you mean you don't know? Can you imagine the amounts of people who have lost their best friends to you know, something like death?" She explains, her face becoming serious, "Some people don't have the chance to rekindle with a loved one, let alone speak to them."

She was right, very right and I couldn't deny it whatsoever, so I agreed, nodding as I grabbed a pillow and held it in front of my face, head butting it, "I know, I know," I reply in a defeated tone.

"Is there anyway you'd be able to see him again, talk to him?" She asks, her voice raising in pitch, hoping for the best, "How did you even end up seeing him in the first place?"

I raise my eyebrows, thinking aback, still in disbelief at the coincidence of seeing him again, and the connection that had been made by Freddie with Roger, "Well, er, he's the drummer in the band that Freddie has been talking about for months, and he also just so happens to be friends with Freddie, the other person working at the stall."

"Jesus Barbara, you couldn't get more of a perfect scenario," she replies, a smile forming on her lips as she begins to giggle.

"What's so funny?" I say, trying to keep a straight face, but becoming amused at how funny she looked.

"I- I don't kn-know, maybe j-ust the fact th-at he has been p-practically under you-r nose this - wh-whole time," she lets out in small fits of giggles, her hand pressed against her chest, "Wow."

"Wow indeed."

"We must go to the stall immediately!" She suddenly squeals, standing up on the bed and jumping up and down.

"No, no, no, not today!" I shout, reaching for the tray of food next to me, holding onto it to stop it from ripping off of the bed.

She groans, falling onto the bed, "Why not?"

"I don't know, I just, I need a day to cool down," I reply, letting go of the tray and steadying myself.

"Tomorrow?" She asks, her eyes widening. I loved how supportive she was of me, how thoughtful and interested she was of my life and my happiness, "We need to go anyway, I miss Mary and Fred, additionally, money to pay for rent."

I exhale, "Tomorrow."

She squealed excitedly, clenching her fists, trying to keep the happiness from bursting out of her. For the first time I smiled to myself, trying to think positively about talking to Roger after not seeing him properly in so long.

For the rest of that morning I had been psyching myself up for reuniting with him tomorrow and had tried not to think about a certain possibility that when he'd see me, he may be angry and ignore me, or worse, he may just not recognise me at all.

Me and Stella had received an unexpected visit from Freddie today too, he wanted to make sure that I was okay after my sudden exit out of the bar last night.

"Me and Barbara would like to come to the stall tomorrow, if that's okay?" I hear Stella ask Freddie from the kitchen as I sat down beside the radio, listening to the latest news.

"Of course, Mary would be delighted, she misses you dearly," I hear Freddie say, and their voices become more distinct and clear as they appear at the door frame, walking into the room with grins on their faces, "I'm sure my new friend will be just as delighted too."

My face flushed as Stella glanced at me knowingly, "Likewise."

"Are you perfectly sure that you are okay there Barbara dear?" Freddie asks, snapping me out of the bubble that I had created, just me and the radio next to me.

"Oh yes, I'm okay Fred," I answer him, my voice a little more high pitched than usual at the sudden question, he didn't look too convinced, "How has Mary been? I haven't seen her at Beba recently."

He waited a few seconds to reply, taking a sip of the coffee that he and Stella had made, "She was a little under the weather."

"Poor thing, I've missed her."

Freddie motioned for me to sit in the space between him and Stella, who was lighting herself up a cigarette. I rolled my eyes playfully as I picked myself up and walked over to the two of them, dropping myself onto the space in between the two of them, causing them to jump up slightly.

"Silly creature you are," Freddie mumbles, "You had me worried sick last night."

"You don't need to worry Fred, I told you, I suddenly felt a little sick," I lie, but my tone stays serious as I keep a straight face, but I could hear Stella giggle lowly at my response towards him.

"Hm, okay," he mutters, leaning away from me so that he could take a good look at me, "Just making sure."

I offered him a cigarette as an attempt at an apology, or the start of one. He gladly took it and reached for the lighter on the coffee table in front of the three of us.

"Thanks."

We all sat back as far as we could, staring up at the ceiling, "How's the band going?"

"It's okay, taking a small break, Design has been a fuckwit."

"Boy same, you're not lying."

Freddie didn't stay too long after that, we were all feeling extremely tired even though me and Stella didn't really have a valid reason to be. He hugged the both of us at the same time, tightly, grinning as he did so, "I love you both too much and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."

"Until then Fred," I reply as I follow him towards the front door, he quickly pressed a friendly kiss to my check before leaving the apartment.

"Right, are you ready to leave for class, Stella?" I ask her, peaking my head into the living room.

She immediately turned her head to look up at me, her brows furrowed and her eyes squinted, "I thought we weren't going there today," referring to uni.

"We haven't got anything else planned at all have we?"

She replied with a shake of her head, "No, not anymore."

"Well then, let's get some work done."

Tomorrow soon became today, last night I had found it hard to fall asleep, thinking too much about Roger and what was to happen when I see him, if it were to be a joyful moment, or a horrific one. My head wandered to the wild times that we had shared as young teenagers on the beach and dancing to the radio, what I'd give to turn back time and live one of those days all over again. I smiled to myself, beginning to think more positively, perhaps this was where me and Roger's friendship would unpause and play. These were the thoughts that helped me fall into a deep sleep as nervous jitters course through my body.

"Wake the fuck up Ba-ba! It's your time to shine baby!" I wake up to Stella's squealing in the morning, she rolls forward onto my bed, bouncing herself until I was sitting up and hitting her repetitively with my pillow.

"Fuck off!" I shout, laughing and snorting at the same time, pushing her off of the bed before lying back down, "How dare you interrupt my beauty sleep."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I know how much you need that, ugly!" She groans, holding herself up as she jumps onto my bed again, "Just kidding!"

I hold myself up on my elbows, "You better be."

"I swear, now get up," she replies, reaching for one of the pillows that I had thrown at her before before chucking it back at me, hitting my head.

"Fine," I say, "I suppose you're helping me with my outfit today then?"

"You bet your ass I am, I'm going to grab something for you," she states, smirking as she leaves the room before running back in around seven minutes later with a tight dress.

"Wait- Stella, no, can I pick my outfit this time please?" I ask, silently praying to the gods above, putting on a fake frown and attempting to look cute in order to get my way.

She practically growls, "Fine, but I have to approve of it."

"Deal."

In the end, the outfit that I had picked out which had been approved by her and myself, it was simple, a pink top with a purple patterned skirt, purple tights, a navy jacket to go over the top along with knee-high black boots. Stella ended up doing my hair, pulling it up into a neat bun before taking a step backwards, "You look so stunning, I'm jealous. I really need to get myself ready now."

I looked myself a few times more in the body length mirror that me and Stella had managed to pay for one month where everything was much less stressful. I smiled at my appearance, this was just a normal outfit I'd wear day to day maybe, the skirt was one of my favourite items of clothing that I owned overall. Almost looking forward to leaving for Kensington, I really wanted to get this over with and get there in order to rid the nervousness that I was feeling at the tension building, the thought of seeing him.

"Can you hurry up?!" I call out after about fifteen minutes of waiting, "I'm practically a skeleton at this point."

Very soon after, she waltzed our of her room, mumbling something along the lines of 'drama queen' as she reaches for her handbag which was hanging by her coat, "Here's your satchel," she says, handing over my pastel pink smallish bag before taking her own and placing the strap over her shoulder.

I quickly checked through my bag, making sure that I had everything with me, keys, cigarettes, some extra ones for Freddie and Mary in case they didn't have any, money and a whole lot of bravery, because I needed much of that.

"Let's go," Stella says, opening up the apartment door and waiting a little to the side in order for to walk past her so that she could lock the door, "And you know the address don't you?"

"Yes, got it all memorised, don't you worry," I reply, stepping quickly down the two little steps in front of our apartment door.

"You sure?"

"Very sure, I've got an astoundingly good memory Stel, now keep me occupied with some entertaining stories, or I'm going to shit myself," I explain as she catches up with me, her footsteps as quick as mine.

"Calm the fuck down, he's not going to kill you."

"But what if he wants to?"

"He's your best friend Barb, and you're his best friend, why on earth would he want to murder you?" I hear her ask as we reach our nearby bus stop, kicking at the floor a little to calm myself down a bit more.

"I can think of one thing for sure."

#roger taylor #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor x barbara rosabella #rogertaylor x oc #barbara rosabella #barbara palvin #oc #roger taylor x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #slow burn #love #love story #romance #young love #queen #queen x reader #queen x oc #music #musician #smile #1960s #youre my best friend #best friends

[threemoonsareshining]

i read through all the 'get to know me uncomfortably well' questions and honestly i couldn't pick because i'd love your answers to any of them so idk just answer the ones you feel like answering? is that allowed in these ask games? idk i'm making it allowed (also have a great day!) xx

Hi!!!!!! Oh my god you’re blessing my night with this message because let’s say... I haven't had the best day today, and I’m sure that’s allowed in these ask things, i mean are there even rules? I do’t know how many i’ll be able to answer but I’m going all in so let’s go

2. How old are you? 19 such an ugly age let me tell you

4. What is your zodiac sign? taurus and i’m not really into astrology and stuff so i don’t know if i can relate to my sign or not

5. What is your favorite color? i really like earthy tones, and i’ve always loved dark colors but i’m trying to broaden my horizons in terms of colors, unsuccessfully this far

6. What's your lucky number? i’m not sure if it brings me luck but i’ve always loved the number 5, maybe bc it’s my birthday, i think it’s really nice overall

7. Do you have any pets? yes!! i have 2 cats, i love them so much even though they’re not the friendliest cats in the world you know. I used to have fish but they kept dying not matter how hard i tried! It makes me a little sad but in the end it was just too much work and if i wasn’t able to take care of them properly i’d rather have no fish honestly

8. Where are you from? i don’t like to say these things but i think it’s pretty obvious if you pay a little attention to what i post every once in a while

9. How tall are you?i’m 1.64 or so, which is like… 5.3-5.4??? I’d like to be a little taller tho

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don’t own many, this year i bought some winter shoes but i just realised all my summer ones are either a little too used or i just don’t like their style anymore so yeah i should do some shopping (if only i had time to do that hah!)

12. What was your last dream about? i don’t remember very well but i think i saw my economics teacher riding a bike with no pants after i’d been fined by the police for having a water balloon war in the middle of the street, I wasn’t happy about that. I’ve had many dreams i was able to remember these last days, but they were more like nightmares i’d say, many of them about being kidnaped, other studies-related (i failed my math test again, i had to retake my college-access test… just terrible), and other were with people i actually know, which wasn’t the best thing ever honestly

15. Favorite song? Plant life by owl city, i’m going to paste the answer i wrote to explain why it’s my favorite (Plant Life by Owl City, that song just describes my soul at a spiritual level, like I could choose 1564 other songs by Owl City that describe me as well but this one is the one that I can relate to when i’m going through the worst times, but also gives me the hope that things will get better idk. And it’s funny because I still loved it before I had the level of English to understand the lyrics, and then I found out what they meant and i was like “woah this actually speaks to me in a way i can’t explain” it was a really weird feeling idk, that song is just me)

16. Favorite movie? billy elliot, actually it’s been a really long time since i last saw it. I remember i watched it like 7 times in a row in one week when i first saw it, i just loved it so much

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Just… someone that i’m 100% comfortable with, which should be a given, but apparently that isn’t that easy to find. Idk i’ve been thinking a lot about this lately basically because some of my coming decisions are going to be based on who i want as a partner, obviously not in a serious-for-life way, but in a way that i deserve right now. I’d like to have someone that doesn’t make me feel inadequate like almost everyone does, that doesn’t make me feel like a temporary asset in their life until they get want they want for me and just don’t care anymore. I don’t know, recent experiences have made me realise I need to figure out what I want and fight for it, not settle for someone just because it’s convenient, or because i don’t want to be alone... because in the end, if someone is making you feel like shit for being who you are and it’s acting like you are not important, even though they’re willing to be with you (even if it’s just for the physical part) that clearly makes you feel even more lonely

18. Do you want children? I’d say my #1 fear in life is getting accidentally pregnant (i know that shouldn’t worry me that much if i use protection and stuff), i meant a good reason i’m so wary of having sex is because i’d go crazy just considering the possibility that the condom failed or something. I think this answers the question, i really don’t want children, idk if i’d be able to take care of a kid, and above all, i don’t want to. Every time i see a kid in the street or in the public transport i pray he/she doesn’t interact with me because i just find it so so so difficult to be nice to them, basically because i don’t know how . Then i also look at their parents, their tired look, and don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they love their kids and all but I don’t think everyone can find happiness in having kids, and I don’t think I’m one of those people that won’t feel complete until they have kids or stuff. Furthermore, I’m not willing to sacrifice my body and to suffer the pain of giving birth, that doesn’t even cross my mind. So if I consider the possibility in the future i think I’d adopt.

20. Are you religious? I already answered this so I’ll just paste it I’m sorry this is so lazy (i was raised catholic and as a child i was really really devote, i truly believed in god. But you know, as years go by, then you find out you don’t agree with a lot of things the Church preaches (being in a catholic school doesn’t help, i will never forget the day i heard a priest telling literal 7-year-old girls that their only duty in life was to have children). My environment was really really conservative and I was lucky to somehow realise how fucking wrong some of the stuff they were teaching us was, sadly, i still see a lot of kids in my school being brainwashed… it’s crazy to see the way some families think. Anyways, that contributed to me getting distanced from everything religious-related. Now i could say i’m somewhere between agnostic and non-practicing. I still pray every once in a while but i’m not sure if i truly believe it or it’s just out of custom, i just feel too hopeless and detached from everything to believe there’s something greater than us… this question is too hard!)

24. Baths or showers? I used to hate taking showers just because I didn’t have the strength to go through all the process of taking a shower but I’ve been trying to fix this mainly because 1) Personal Hygiene and stuff 2) Even though i don’t have the willpower to do it, i always try to think about how nice it feels to be clean after a shower, or how relaxed you are (even if it’s for a short period of time) after taking a bath. So yeah I don’t like either of them but they’re obviously necessary

26. Have you ever been famous? I haven’t been famous but I’ve been mistaken for a famous people more than once. The first time i was very young and a man asked me if i was that girl (idk who) that was on tv and I said no, and the other was more recent, last year, when someone mistook me for a youtuber

28. What type of music do you like? I love instrumental music, specially orchestral but i also adore celtic themes. And i hate to admit it but i love electro pop, the owl city - type, even though many people (aka my dad) may think it’s not the Best Quality, but i mean who cares at least I enjoy it

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I’m a mess so most of the time I have a coffee so I don’t die of tiredness throughout the day and if i have time i eat some fruit and cookies, not a lot honestly, which isn’t the most healthy thing to do but hey idc

34. Have you ever fired a gun? No. I really, really hate guns.

37. Favorite swear word? I never swear in public, just when I’m alone, I don’t think I can choose any word!

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? Maybe 24 hours, the thing is that i sleep very, very little, but i always end up sleeping anyway

41. Are you a good liar? Even when I’m actually telling the truth there are people who don’t believe me so yeah hah not really

42. Are you a good judge of character? i’m really good at getting the vibes of people, sometimes i think i’m just overreading everything but a high percentage of the time i end up being right, so yeah not only regarding people but also with other aspects of my life… i like to trust my gut. However, i don’t always say it bc i’m afraid i might be wrong, but when my suspicions are proven, I’m like yeah i was right how weird hahahahhhhhhhhh, i amaze myself in this aspect honestly

46. What is your personality type? i think i’m intj, but i remember retaking the test a few months later and getting another result but yeah i can relate to the architect type, introvert, cautelous, focused on analysing rather than acting blah blah all that stuff (i love this stuff)

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 4 life, because I’ve tried to force myself to be more outie and let me tell you that didn’t go well

50. Left or right handed? left!!!

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m really scared of them but i also cry every time i kill one bc i feel sorry for her (but it’s either my life or hers i’m sorry) although most of the time when i see i spider i face my fear and i put in in a box or something to release it outside

52. Favorite food? i’d eat ice cream every day of my life for every meal all the time just give me all the ice cream

58. Do you have much of an ego? My ego is so tiny sometimes i forget it exists and let people step on it like it’s nothing

61. Do you sing to yourself? I perform to myself, i love singing alone in my room. I used to care about my neighbour hearing me but you only live once right

62. Are you a good singer? i wouldn't say i’m a bad singer, nor a good one bc the problem is that my voice is not very strong, so it’s very hard to hear me. But yeah, i’ve been complimented for my singing in some occasions, and i really enjoy doing it on my own (i still don’y know how i was able to sing in public the only time i have done it)

63. Biggest Fear? that i’ll keep missing stuff due to my anxiety, oh that and having unwanted kids obviously

64. Are you a gossip? it’s always interesting to hear stuff and be aware of what happens around you but i‘ve always said that things would be better if everyone just… minded their own business a little bit more, you can’t get mad at someone if they don’t want to tell you something, it’s their life and they don’t owe you all the explanations after all

66. Do you like long or short hair? i have really long hair and i’d love it if it wasn’t so so so hard to maintain… i’m pretty tired of it honestly and i know i said i’d be cutting and donating it this year but… it’s such a part of my identity (which is so silly but it’s true, i’m introduced to some people as “the girl with really long hair”) and… i don’t know i think i’ve enough changes this year, so i’ll keep it for a little longer

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? i’m so scared of the sea i think i’d die

71. What makes you nervous? sadly, even the most insignificant stuff makes me nervous, and apparently, ignoring them doesn’t mae them disapear! so yeah i’m basically suffering at all times due to stupid stuff, i’ve just learned to ignore it enough so it doesn’t interfere with the rest of my life (most of the time it works but it’s mentally draining now that i think about it)

77. Have you ever drank underage? I’m one of those people that can say that never drank alcohol until it was legal for me to do it, I didn’t do it even when my mom offered me something at family gatherings… yeah i think that’s the reason i drink so much now

80. How many piercings do you have? I don’t like piercings for myself (i obviously don’t have a problem with other people having them) but i just think it’s an unnecessary way of mutilating yourself (i hate needles)

86. What are you allergic to? Ironically, I’m allergic to cats, even though i have 2. It comes and goes, and it’s not serious, i sneeze a lot, my eyes itch a little sometimes, but i’m willing to pay that price for my cats honestly

87. Do you keep a journal? I do, but it’s been months since i last wrote mainly because i always feel like shit after writing, so now i can’t bring myself to do it, that’s why i post so much about my personal life in here, because i’m not able to journal but i also don’t want to forget about what happens in my life

90. What makes you angry? Anger is a weird concept for me. I get angry very often, but I’m angry in general, not at anyone in particular, I just find myself unable to get mad at someone, the anger instantaneously turns into sadness, so I don’t know what’s worse. If I’m being mean to someone (most of the time my parents are the victims) it’s not because of them, I’m just angry for no reason and I just can’t keep being nice.

Hey congratualtions if you made it till the end, i was really bored so i answered a lot. Thanks for the message again 🐱🐱🐱🌳🌳🌳

#ask #mutuals #suspended-in-gaffa #long post #i'm so sorry these are all over the place #but ot was nice