#I can't think of a time she wasn't on a diet or saying she should be

[enoughdonegone]

So much reprogramming to do

So I'm starting to recover (barely) from whatever this stomach thing was and from some terrible corners of my brain I keep hearing:

" Oh good! I bet this shrank your stomach! "

" You've consumed less than half a day's worth of calories over 4 days; you're going to see some great results"

"Could you eat like this permanently?"

"Some clouds have a silver lining, you know..."

#cw ed #disordered eating #my mom's 80s and 90s diets hit me really hard #and reinforced by an asshole #I can't think of a time she wasn't on a diet or saying she should be #ugh #trauma #ptsd #emotional abuse #cptsd #healing #recovery #sick

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to pay mere 15 bucks for a while?

I (34F) started working at a supermarket, everyone is friendly and nice there. This one woman (29F) in particular was very nice, shy and doesn't talk too much but I liked her so much and wanted to be friends. I approached her and we hung out everyday, and we even commute together because I don't drive. I assumed it should be free because it's not my car and i shouldn't be responsible for it but offered to pay a part of her gas bills anyway since it's a she was nice enough to match my schedule and sacrifice a part of her time to pick me up and drop me off, we agreed that she would only drive me if she was free so it wasn't a commitment, and i only needed her for evening shifts because my husband is available on morning shifts. Her only condition that I should never be late because she's always on time and I promised her that.

To thank her properly I even bought food for her everyday, the same sandwiches and cakes I like. I'm not sure if she like them too but I can guess because we seemed to have a similar taste in food. The first couple of days she accepted them with a simple thank you but she told me I shouldn't had to. By the third day she started to reject them insisting that I shouldn't have to, and that she brings her own lunch with her. I insisted on her to accept my gifts and she did reluctantly but told me to stop doing again, because it's my money and i should spend it on myself. I told her we are friends and what's mine belongs to her, and wondered if the food I pick didn't suit her taste so I asked her if she liked it or I should buy different things for her. She said she liked them actually she just didn't want me to spend my money needlessly. I continued buying her food everyday regardless. She stopped thanking me for my act of kindness and awkwardly accepting the food, and every single time she tells me I shouldn't do it again but I insist. This continued on for 2 weeks until she told me she wanted to diet, and I should stop buying her food and specially cake because she is trying to lose weight. I agreed but asked her about her diet so I know what to buy her, but she refused to tell me and I stopped buying food for her.

After a while I started commuting with her on morning shifts too because i can get home faster than with my husband but I noticed she wasn't always available because she make many plans after work. She just informs me she has plans but never tells me what they are, so I started to think she's lying and get sad about it. I never confront her because that's not my style so I just tell her it's fine then vent to my other friends about how she keeps ignoring me. That's not the only reason I think she's ignoring me mind you, she also sometimes doesn't hang out with me during breaks.

She found out what I told other friends and got mad at me insisting that I was lying, she said she was just busy sometimes and can't hang out all the time or that she didn't want to disturb me when I was hanging out with other friends, she also reminded me that she isn't obliged to drive me around all the time because that's not what we agreed on.

We had another fight for something irrelevant but we made up, however I felt that we were growing distant after that. She hanged out with me less and less, because I told her she didn't have to sacrificer her plans for my sake ever and that we I don't have to match our schedule anymore, but I still felt sad about it. I knew venting to my other friends would anger her so I kept my mouth shut this time, so she doesn't accuse me of lying again.

We still commute together specially in evenings shifts, but not too much in morning shifts because she keeps having plans. I don't complain about it even when my husband is unavailable.

I received a message saying she hesitated to tell me something but she had to increase the price for our commute if I still wanted to be with her, and the price she set was insane! 2.5 bucks for each ride meaning I had to pay 5 bucks everyday day! she said driving isn't just about gas and that gas is already expensive because her car isn't economy and specially because we live in a hot climate and we need the AC all the time. I didn't like it and tried arguing with her over it, but she didn't budge and I didn't want to lose our friendship over it and tried to forget about it and I actually did forget it so after a month she told me I had to pay 75 buck for the entire month and I got angry because it was too much. For reference this is not the US and 75 bucks is more than enough for gas, my husband's car needs 50 bucks monthly but her car probably needs about 100 bucks and i'm paying 75% of that! She reminded that it was the price she set and she calculated it carefully so she doesn't accidentally charge me for extra rides. For the next couple of month I only commuted with her when necessary and had to pay around 50 buck each month. Also because I pay her much more I thought I might as well get the most of these ride so I always did grocery shopping after work while she waited for me. It's just 15 minutes usually and she shops sometimes too so why can't I? I started doing grocery whenever I needed without asking for her permission even though she asks mine when needs to shop, but after all I'm the one who practically pays for our rides. She's using me for gas so I might as well use her, I felt I should have never suggested helping her with gas, I'd get free rides and these problems would never happen.

I always ask her how much I owe her immediately after getting our paychecks on the 27th, but I need a few days to prepare the cash so I don't pay until after a week usually. We had a fight because she claimed I was always "late" so I decided to finally stop commuting with her, I paid her the 40 bucks I owed her for that month after I stopped talking to her. It was the start of a new month I never rode with her or talked with her, yet when we got our paychecks she told me I owed her 15 buck! I called her out on her lies and told her to stop using me and stealing my money because I haven't commuted with her for the entire month, but she told me it was for the 28th, 29th and 1st day, three days after the paycheck so they would be paid the next month.

I did the math and realized she was not making it up, I didn't apologize for accusing her because I'm still right, she's very greedy for charging me that much. I didn't pay the 15 bucks because that's such an insignificant amount and it didn't matter. She sent an angry message the next month saying she wants her money and I was overstepping boundaries because "I'm getting too comfortable at her expense". I called her out for annoying me just for the sake of 15 bucks, I don't know why that's important to her. I told her I regret even suggesting to pay her, she blew up on me saying it was common sense to pay the driver and that I'm the one who assumed I was riding for free. She claimed she actually told me about the money beforehand but I embarrassed her by assuming she was giving me free rides, and that her embarrassment caused her to not charge me enough at first. I don't remember any of that, I know I have a week memory but I think she is making all that up to get my 15 bucks, so I refused to pay. I reminded her that I bought food for her everyday and she was so ungrateful for that, which proved I'm generous but she's greedy. I also told it's her fault she allowed and forced me to ride her car!

I blocked her number before she replied so I don't know how she responded to that but I decided to go to HR. Unfortunately HR said our commute is none of there business and my ex-friend had the right to charge me as much as she wanted to, and if I didn't agree to that price I shouldn't have rode in her car in the first place!

I paid the money after that, I even gave her 30 bucks because I'm generous and told her to stop bothering me. She refused to take them because I only owed her 15 bucks but I left before she could return the money. She's TA for charging me too much and being ungrateful but am I also?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[i-writes-things]

Bring You're Kid To Work Day Maria Hill Edition

Maria Hill x (15 year old) daughter!reader

Request:

Warnings-NOne, fluff, a sugar rush, giggles, protests, whining.

Extra Pairings:

Avengers x Hill!reader

Not my Gif*

Steve walked in with a plate of cookies. COOKIES! Maria swiped them from Steve, hoping to hid them from-

"COOKIES" Y/n, Maria's 15 year old daughter shouted from her spot on the ground.

"Oh god." Maria picked her head up, smiling at her little girl. "Yes, my friend Steve brought them for-" She looked at Steve.

"B-both of you guys." He smiled at Y/n.

"Oh my gosh, I have wanted cookies since last week." Y/n shot her mom a quick glance.

"I told you I looked down that aisle four times. How am I suppose to know they are behind a big box of healthy snacks."

"It's their tactic to keep us on a diet. But I've told you about this before."

"Okay, well I can't remember everything. You know that." Taking a cookie and going back to her seat, Y/n says,

"Well you should." And to make sure her mother doesn't hear she adds a quick, "Thanks Steve."

"You're welcome." Steve gives Maria a nod before ducking out and almost instantly someone else walks right back in.

"There she is! The infamous Y/n Hill. If only Maria told us she had a kid. Maybe you'd be an Avenger by now."

"Really?"

"No." Maria butts in, giving Tony Stark a look. "I think Fury needs you, he is on the other end of the hall." She points down the way. Tony hands Y/n a crusty popsicle that he probably found on the ground and leaves the room. Maria walks over and hands her daughter a cookie in exchange for the lolly. She throws it away, despite Y/n's protests. "No, you're not eating that thing. It's not even food."

"Mooooooom!" Y/n huffs.

"Hey, no whining, come on, we're in public. And you're a big girl." Y/n pouts at Maria. "My big girl." She ruffles your hair. Y/n takes another cookie and walked out the door and down the hall. Maria listens from her desk. She hears people greet her and her daughter's laughter as she traveled down the hallway. Hearing Tony again, and Monica, Carol, Wanda, even Vision's, offering her a brownie. And Maria knew bringing her kid to work was gonna be more mothering than work as Y/n walked in with a plate of cookies, a smile and Vision with Wanda on his heels. Come to say hi.

"Hi!" Wanda cheers!

"Mom look what I found!" She showed her mom the plate, offering her one. Which she declines, seeing the chocolate smeared on Y/n's face. She goes to wipe it off, which Y/n avoids, scrunching her face.

"Okay, I have to be at training, 3 minutes ago. She kisses Vision on the cheek and gives Maria and her daughter a smile as she exits.

"I shall be on my way too. Good to see you, Miss Hill." Vision waves good bye to you and your mom.

Over the next few hours it seems you just started to bounce off the walls after finishing BOTH the brownies and cookie plates. With Maria's help, but mostly your own.

"Mommomomomomomomomom-"

"Babe." She held one hand out to you, the other trying to hold herself together. "Please. If you don't specifically need me, don't call my name."

"Mom?" Maria took a breath.

"Yes?"

"I don't know I just wanted to say your name"

"That's-" You were now running down the hall saying, as it echoed across the walls,

"Look mom nooo haaaaands!" Running with your arms flailing about behind you. Giggling you ran back into her office running around to jump into her chair, trying to, but fitting awkwardly in her lap. Maria just let you go, knowing you would crash soon enough. And 30 minutes later you were asleep on the ground. Thor had come in to gift you surprise birthday cake flavored pop tarts but you asleep. So he left. Maria wasn't even able to greet him before he was marching back down the hall. He came back in, gently putting a small blanket on your back. Maria smiled. She finally felt how the rest of her colleagues did. She realized that they were all just big family. And they all love Y/n just like she does.

After Thor left again, Maria took a photo of her sleeping baby. She smiled and watched her sleep peacefully. Turning out the lights she left to go talk with her family right down the way.

🏷️

@ravensinthedaylight @may-z3@youre-a-total--poser

#avengers #platonic #platonic avengers #maria hill #tony stark #tony stank #thor odinson #thor of asgard #wanda maximoff #wanda x y/n #wanda x vision #vision #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #maria hill's daughter #monica rambeau #carol danvers #captain marvel #maria hill x daughter #maria hill x you #maria hill x y/n #maria hill x reader #aos #maria hill x daughter!reader #mother daughter relationship #daughter!reader

[mc-lukanette]

Marinette sat on the couch in her house while Luka was busy in the kitchen preparing popcorn. They hadn't felt like their usual creative sessions that day, so a simple movie would have to do.

Though they did go back and forth for a while on who should be in charge of preparing popcorn, Marinette chuckling recalling their "argument." "But you're the guest!" "And you're letting me in your space." "Guests aren't supposed to be doing anything." "Not in my house. We let guests do what they want, and I want to make the popcorn for you."

She finally relented to him and let him do as he pleased, satisfying popping noises going off behind her like they were the fireworks of his victory.

Granted, it wasn't like there wasn't anything in it for her. There was an akuma that day and she hadn't eaten much as a result, so she spent the time he was preparing eating a handful of nuts.

Not that she really even liked nuts. They were okay - not good, not bad - but her options had gone down ever since she got her miraculous. Chips had gone off the table a long time ago even though she enjoyed them as most did.

"Ugh," she voiced the frustration aloud, "being Ladybug is the worst."

Beyond the popping sound of the popcorn, every other noise stopped; Luka must've heard her.

He raised his voice to be heard over the popping, asking, "Does it have anything to do with what you've been eating?"

She snorted in amusement. Of course he'd notice that my diet changed.

While she'd only known Luka after having become Ladybug, she tried to hide her dieting habits from other people. Luka knowing her secret identity meant that she didn't feel the need to hide it from him anymore, even subconsciously and she just hadn't remembered that she hadn't told him about the dieting aspects until now.

Turning her head to direct her voice towards him more, she confirmed, "Yeah. I used to be able to skip a meal or two if I was in a hurry, but Ladybug can't. There are more akuma now that Hawk Moth is Shadow Moth too."

Luka tapped the counter as he mulled that over, deducing, "So being a hero burns through your energy."

"Exactly, but I can't just eat more food either."

"Because people will notice if you're playing off notes," he finished.

"Yeah. I just need to eat more... nutritiously, I guess." She raised one of the nuts to show him. "Like these; protein and healthy fat."

"Mm," Luka hummed in thought. She could imagine him nodding even if she couldn't see it.

Things went silent from there beyond the occasional sounds from the kitchen and the crunch of Marinette biting into a walnut. She'd already picked out a movie she thought they'd both enjoy, so she could just kick back and wait for Luka.

Eventually, he arrived with two separate bowls of popcorn and set them on the table, though he paused rather than pulling back to join her on the couch. She blinked, curious at the contemplative expression on his face.

"...I can cook," he said suddenly.

"Huh?" She tilted her head, puzzled by the statement. "Oh, I—I know? That's... I always thought it was great that you—"

He hunched over as he choked out a laugh, muffling it with a hand and waving his other hand to reassure her. "Sorry. I..." He straightened, running a hand through his hair before clarifying, "I was asking if I could help."

"...H-huh?" she repeated, somehow more confused than when he told her something she already knew.

He sat down next to her, looking wholly serious. "I'd have to practice and find some recipes, but I could make the kind of food you need." Her averted his gaze, looking up and to his right like he was still thinking it over. "I'll eat too, so you don't have to feel bad about it. It'll give me an excuse to eat well"

Marinette didn't even know what to say; she could only gape at him. Luka had - of course - always been wholly understanding of her role as Ladybug. If anything, he was too understanding, willing to make excuses for her absences without hesitation and always ready to pick up right back where they left off if their one-on-one time was interrupted. She liked to think she knew how to read him by now and he genuinely seemed unbothered by it. She still didn't fully comprehend how he did it all like it was nothing simply because he liked her and they were friends.

Well, she was pretty sure they were friends, anyway: friends who spent a lot of one-on-one time together, friends who shared their deepest secrets with each other, and now potentially friends who ate food together that one of them prepared.

...I have to ask, she thought reluctantly.

"Do you—" She took a breath, then tipped her head back and tossed the remaining nuts in her mouth, chewing and swallowing as if they'd give her courage. Making sure to look him in the eyes, she tried again, "Do you mean... like a date?"

The slight blush that appeared on his face gave her a rough answer. He must've only been thinking about her and making sure she knew that he was getting something out of it by eating the food he'd make for both of them. The romantic implications hadn't even entered his mind.

Still, she waited for him to respond properly, wanting to see what he said.

He shifted in place, looking from her, to the popcorn, to the movie, and finally back at her. When he opened his mouth again, it felt like an eternity until the words actually came out.

"No, but—" He offered a gentle smile her way. "If that's what you want, then..."

He'd trailed off, but she got the message. She just hoped the spontaneous giggle that came out of her didn't sound too giddy.

"W-we could give it a try?" she offered, twirling a strand of her hair and hoping that the coyness might come across. It would've been easy to confess outright, but after all of the relationship failures she'd gone through, it was appealing to try something a little slower even if her endgame goal remained the same.

Luka agreed, his smile widening as he nodded. With that, it was officially agreed upon that it would be a date. Many dates, in fact, if his promise was accurate and he'd start cooking for her regularly.

The only shame, Marinette thought, was that it'd be hard to focus on the movie when she was already imagining her future dinner plans with him.

#queuekanette #lukaneventte: No Context November #Flower Arrangement Shipping #Pro LukaMari #Lukanette #((I will not rest until Luka has been fully converted into a househusband.))

[jamlocked]

For the Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🍓 🥑🥤🧃🍄🍬🔪🌸

(SORRY COULD NOT DECIDE)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

WELL. It happened because I found out I was shit at writing. I'd been abroad for three months and it was mental (not really in a good way) and I was like, 'this is the book I've been wanting to write'. So I came home and started to write it and, dear God, it was terrible. Not too long after that I discovered fandom and saw some fan fiction for the first time. And some of it was SO GOOD, which I wasn't aware could be possible with fanfic (lol, right?) So I got absorbed in that and one day thought, 'well, maybe I should try because I already know these characters and it'll be good practice so I can learn to write my own stuff well'.

Guess what, it was.

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@lvsifer You mate, obviously. Pfft, as if that were even in question. <3 (Though I question the word 'help'. Help me commit the murder? Yes, of course.)

(...thinking further, I also question the word 'accientally' in this scenario, particularly if @lvsifer was there with me, which he would be.)

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

There are so many I could choose but I'm going to go with Sforzando simply because it's open in a tab right now so I can start another re-read, and that says it all really. I would link another one from an old fandom as well because it was beyond stunning and broke my entire soul a few years ago, but I can't remember the full name to link it.

  🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

My own personal lore? Hmm. Can't remember what I have and haven't posted about. I'll go with my one severe phobia, which is shipwrecks. And that's all I'm going to say about it otherwise I'll start thinking about them and that is Unpleasant.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

When Jim was a teenager he spent a long time debating whether to introduce himself to Sherlock. He didn't because he was scared, both of rejection and of it not living up to what he dreamed about. It's the only time he's ever really felt fear and he hates that he caved into it, given how Sherlock wasted years of his life on drugs and then became mostly ordinary.

I guess that's not really a pairing thing. So...in a world where Jim and Sherlock date or spend time together domestically, they frequently fight over food. Jim doesn't care about it but people have to eat, so he's going to eat well. Sherlock's diet of takeaways and beans on toast is unbearable. In the end, he forces Sherlock to learn to cook (by telling him it's entirely beyond his talents and 'yes, this is the most basic reverse psychology darling, but also, it's completely true') and Sherlock is so annoyed at not being able to tell what he means he becomes an amazing chef. And enjoys it. It's basically chemistry when it comes down to it.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Sherlock was never and will never be in love with John. Or Molly.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I mean, there's a long list. Wind speeds over coastal Mexico? Wheel widths of early 19th century French carts? The political system of Bulgaria was quite interesting.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

...mate, if you wanted to see pics of Coco you could have just WhatsApp'd me. :D

THIS IS COCO, ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL.

<3 <3 <3

#all about meme #writing #coco

[observeowl]

Wisdom tooth S.J

Scarlett Johansson x daughter!Reader

Summary: R puts off going to the dentist until the last moment

Reader POV I have not been eating much because I don't have an appetite. I am constantly having a headache that shoots down my neck due to my toothache. I have been putting off going to the dentist because the last experience there was horrifying. So instead of eating, I have been switching my diet to drinking smoothies. It's safe to say it wasn't enough because I was losing weight.

I have been taking Tylenol to help with my pain but it was getting tough. Even two pills weren't enough at times to cover the pain, making me easily irritable. I was also having trouble sleeping at night. It was getting harder and harder to hide from my mum, I couldn't hide from her for every meal so I had to pick and choose. I have been eating slower and lesser when normally, I would be the first one off the table.

"Y/N sweetie, are you okay?" Scarlett asked me one day.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just, you are losing your normal enthusiasm when eating. You are normally excited about what's for lunch and dinner."

I put down my fork and took a deep breath. "IthinkIhaveatoothache."

"Pardon? I didn't catch you."

"I think I have a toothache."

"Oh dear... is that why you haven't been eating?" I nodded my head. "I know you hate going to the dentist, but if we keep dragging it, it's going to hurt even more." "I'm going to make an appointment for you and we can go together okay?"

"Alright..." I can't escape from it now...

"Here, in the meantime, put this on your jaw. It should help a bit." My mum gave me a pack of ice. It was really cold but it did help numb the pain.

"Great news! There's a slot today and we can go there now."

"Wait what!? I- I'm not mentally prepared yet!" I sat up straight at the news. We obviously have differing opinions on what's great news. She acted as if she didn't hear me and continued getting ready to leave. I groaned and whined as I got ready as well.

"Do we really have to go today?" I whined to my mum.

"You are in the car already, what do you expect?" I trashed in my seat as I really did not want to go.

>time skip to the dentist<

"Miss Y/N?" The nurse announced my name. I did not move from my seat but mum dragged my hand into the room. The dentist did a quick check on my teeth and informed us that it was not a toothache but rather my wisdom tooth growing out of place hence all the hurting. He suggested removing the wisdom tooth today so that we don't have to make another visit but honestly, my mind blanked out after he suggested removal.

Scarlett POV I could see Y/N not paying attention anymore after the dentist suggested the procedure and I took over the talking. He asked about any allergy, height and weight to measure the amount of laughing gas to use. As the time went on, Y/N was getting visibly anxious. I held her hand to let her know I'm right there with her and that she has nothing to be afraid of.

Slowly, as she gets induced by the laughing gas, the dentist checks to make sure she's not feeling anything before starting the removal of her wisdom teeth. She was knocked out cold due to the anesthesia and I sat by the side to wait for the dentist to be done.

After about an hour, the dentist was down with the procedure and all I had to do was wait for Y/N to wake up. He briefed me on what to do and what not to do at home. No solid food for a week, no drinking through straws (something about not feeling your tongue) and to change the cotton wool when we get home.

"Mum?" Y/N finally stirred awake.

"Yes, baby I'm here." I went closer to her and held her hand. She leaned forwards and put her entire body on mine like a koala. "You want me to carry you?" I felt her head nod. "Okay, let's go then." I carried her with me and walked to my car.

"Normally people are hysterical after their wisdom teeth removal, why are you crying?"

"I on't now..." She started crying more hysterically through her muffled voice due to the cotton wool.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. You can cry all you want." Oh god, why is my child so unlike others? When we got back home, I quickly whipped up some smoothies because she hadn't been eating much.

"Drink this smoothie and take your pain medication then you can go to bed." I managed to let her allow me to change the cotton wool in her mouth. I can see the stitches in there but I wasn't going tell her that and scare her.

"Can you- Can you stay with me?"

"Of course sweetheart."

Despite everything she's doing, she's still a baby, she's still my baby.

#scarlett johansson #dentist #wisdomtooth #scarlett x reader #scarlett!mom #scared #x daughter!reader #wisdom tooth #my writing

[poeticmoonspirit]

These Things I've Done - Part IIII

Part I Part II Part III Part V Part VI

Katara's hands clenched, her eyes still narrowed at the young airbender. Zuko knew how to control his inner fire. He's known for awhile now. But he knew that his control could only go so far, especially when he was angry. There were no excuses to make for Aang anymore. Nothing could excuse how he treated Katara and the rest of them today and if Aang was here to apologize, he wasn't sure he'd even stick around for it. Or if he'd believe it.

He was done.

"Don't you know how to knock? You can't just barge into people's rooms!" Katara yelled. Aang had the sense to look down in shame.

"I-I'm sorry, Katara. I just came in here to–"

"– call us monsters?" Zuko finished. "Oh wait, my father's a genocidal maniac so that makes me one too, right? I'm just waiting for the right time to kill you all without a moment's notice." The sarcasm didn't go unnoticed by Aang.

The Avatar held his arms to his sides to show that he was serious. He willed his hands to stay still and to keep from fidgeting. "Zuko, Katara," he said, looking them both in the eyes, "I'm sorry. So sorry."

"I was wrong about what I said, about all of it. I judged you based off of what I thought was right and that wasn't okay. I should have just listened."

"Also, you're free to date whomever you want, Katara. I'm sorry about that too."

Katara glared. "I know I'm allowed to date who I want. Do you?" Aang nodded quickly, not wanting to leave room for any doubt on their end.

Katara crossed her arms, not saying a word. Zuko stood next to her mimicking the same stance. Both of them were too angry to respond, too wounded. So Aang kept going, gulping as he tried to figure out how to proceed.

"I-I also talked to my past lives today. Um, they were the ones that persuaded me." Something in Aang's voice, the righteousness or the nonchalant way in which he spoke, annoyed Katara. She stood up suddenly, facing him with a look Aang couldn't read.

"Persuaded you? It took a bunch of dead people to knock some common sense into you?" She let out a bitter chuckle. "You are something else, I swear."

Aang opened his mouth, about to respond when—

"I have nothing more to say to you."

It was like the airbender got the wind knocked right out of him. His hands tingled in that feeling that told him to leave but he couldn't move, couldn't think. Couldn't feel. His eyes were blurry now. He wiped at them only to realize that he was crying.

Zuko sighed. "Look, we all talked while you were gone and decided that we'll continue to train you until the comet comes. Once the war is over and we handle whatever else we need to, you can do what you want. But don't expect friendship from us anymore."

In a moment of anger, Aang shouted, "Don't you think you're taking this too far? I already said I was sorry!"

Katara clenched her jaw, her eyes now focused on the angry expression on his face. Why was he upset? He was the one who fucked up! He's the one who judged her for the one thing she'd always wanted. He was supposed to be her friend, one of her best friends. But now his actions were proving anything but. If he was sorry—really sorry—he wouldn't have gotten mad. She wasn't just upset anymore, she was disappointed. She thought that maybe it was his age, but then she remembered that Toph was also his age and still didn't behave like that. So why was he the only one like this? Why did he have this sense of warped self-righteousness?

Katara glared. "You're angry?! Imagine how we feel, Aang! If you hadn't said what you did, you wouldn't even be in this position! You screwed that up! You screwed up our friendship, my trust, and any semblance of hope I had for you to grow up!"

"The first time I noticed your little snide comments was when we went to see Bato and you judged our diet and culture. I let it slide because you were a monk and a kid and maybe you didn't know any better. But this? This is a whole different situation. You've just dug your own grave, Aang. Now you lie in it!"

She stormed off, leaving the room in an uncomfortable silence as Aang faced an angry Zuko. The firebender noticed the water in the plants in the room were all dead, despite them being new. She was so upset that she was bending the water out of the plants. Unknowingly, he thought. And she liked them too, another thing Zuko added to Aang's tabs of misfortune.

A certain sadness enveloped Zuko's words. His voice laced with disdain. His voice was almost a whisper. "You know, Aang, when you told me that we could be friends that one time, this isn't what I had in mind." And with that, the oldest of the group left the room, leaving Aang to his thoughts. His past lives decided to make another reappearance in his mind.

"Thoughtless!"

"Fool!"

"Self-righteous child!"

And this time, he didn't argue with them.

#anti kataang #zutara #atla katara #ficlet #fucking oof #he fucked up BIG TIME

[jess-moloney]

Jess's "Marathon Career" is a Joke

I've been thinking about Jess's marathon thing that she pretended to be for a few years and a lot of it doesn't make sense.

One of her posts boasts finishing a half marathon in 1hr45 mins or so. However, she's someone who also presented herself as a professional/highly competitive runner. Someone who was training for this like it was her job/career/dream. If you look it up, for a half marathon for highly competitive runners it should be at least 15 minutes lower (on average or that should be her goal and she should be hitting it) or less than that. She's well over it. She brags "At least I got a medal" but yeah it's nothing more than a participation medal she didn't win anything. She probably did better than some people but she did not do well enough for the way she was portraying her "hard training" at the time.

If you look at most of her posts and she's holding up some medal/badge it's not because she won anything it's because she finished. They give everyone something for finishing.

I know that her stans will be like "LOL AT LEAST SHE RAN A MARATHON YOU CAN'T DO THAT"

No, I can't. I'm not saying finishing a marathon isn't hard or isn't some kind of accomplishment. I am saying that Jess was portraying herself as being "professional". Read her blog. She had all these personal trainers and this special diet and got up at like 4am and even (allegedly) qualified for Iron Man (can't find any proof she's won a marathon or placed in one to qualify) but that was how she was portraying herself. Someone like her shouldn't have only ever gotten participation credits because someone like her and how she was acting is someone who should have been placing/winning marathons.

If you try to find her ranking in any marathon she claimed to run, you won't, because all she did was finish it. Yes, that's hard to do, no it's not some master fitness guru athlete like she was claiming to be. Then just as she was training for Iron Man (as she was claiming and got someone to interview her about like she was so special even though a lot of women compete in Iron Man and do really well) magically she has an injury and can't run anymore. It makes me think she probably never actually qualified to be in Iron Man, realized that she wasn't going to be able to run it, and "Oops broke my ankle". How convenient. Also check this out, on a good chunk of her posts photos she embedded from IG have been removed. Why?

In her last post, she says this:

It sounds cringe, but I’m honoured to be training with her. She’s given me great tips to help my recovery and, having had a recent injury herself, made me feel super confident that I will come back from this just fine, maybe even stronger!

So it sounds like she keeps intending to train and compete and all of that (though she "sadly" has to miss another marathon because she's not up to shape yet). Then that's the last post. Ever. Six total posts for something not only did she act like an expert in but she also acted like was her dream of all dreams and then she just gave up. I'm sorry who does that if it's their dream? She says in the injury article (where all the embedded IG posts are deleted) that she can do other things like swim and bike and whatever.

In my life, I've known extremely competitive athletes and people who this was their dream. I've also known someone who even got to Olympic level then suffered a horrible injury and was taken out of the competition. As crushing as that was for her she didn't ever stop trying, training, or wanting to requalify. Sadly, she never did, but there was nothing in her that stopped her from doing it. Even to the point of slight insanity.

Other athletes get injured and can't do one sport (like running) so they train for something else and use that goal instead. Jess mentioned specifically there are other sports that she can do and wants to do then just didn't do any of them after that? She stopped rehab, gave up on her dream, and went full-on into doing....the nothing that she does now?

She never did anything special or exemplary as the fitness guru she presents herself as. She claims in her blog to have traveled all around the world for these different races and stuff but the posts have been removed (even the injury ones) and there's no way to confirm any of this because she never placed or won awards or did something magnificent. She never was the great athlete she claimed to be she was just posing as one. It could have even been a cover for an eating disorder, she didn't eat because she was "training so hard" or something (I've heard that before).

Last but not least here's something that really stands out as odd:

In this post she had just finished running a marathon and was drinking a beer, because you know, what you want to do right after a marathon is drink something to dehydrate you even more. Is that what anyone at a professional level would do? I know people who run marathons and triathlons and though they may go out for drinks *later* to celebrate they don't immediately have a beer at the finish line. I've never known one of them to do this even the ones who aren't serious and just do it as a hobby. This not only shows that she doesn't know shit about athletics but that I guess she must really love her alcohol and knows literally nothing about training for one of these things.

Her whole goal in this seems to have been "I'm a woman, I run marathons, that makes me special, give me attention and money Nike I should be one of your models because I do some stuff". There's nothing in her blog or on her IG account that sets her apart from much better and much more deserving female athletes who are better, stronger, faster, and healthier than her. Yet she somehow thought this was going to get her fame.

This leads me to also question how she had 26K followers before she ever met Jamie. People barely cared about these posts. People barely cared about her celebrity posts. She wasn't doing nearly enough to have 26K people organically follow her for her fitness "advice" or the stolen pictures of celebrities she was posting so....this is just yet another thing that has scam written all over it.

#jess moloney #thoughts

[life-in-the-monster-haus]

Monster High the Movie Review Part 1

A kind soul sent me the Monster High movie to review and I have some....thoughts. This WILL contain spoilers! So proceed with caution.

As your humble blogger I promise to give this movie a fair chance, I won’t blow it off because it’s Live Action or because it’s “new”… Monster High was all about celebrating differences, this means being open minded when presented with something unexpected. They change A LOT in this movie… some changes are good, some are not. I will do my best to contain my biases (undying love for G1 and raw seething hatred for G2) let’s GO!

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The movie starts with some unknown person absolutely shredding at the local skate park they get bumped & fall and we see it's Clawdeen! once the humans see she's a wolf they chase her off saying how scary she was and that she "wasn't a girl, that's an animal!" she goes home to sulk and we learn it's her 15th birthday!

In this movie Clawdeen is half human. "But Jess! aren't ALL werewolves half human!?" Yes, yes they are... but in THIS movie monsterdom seems to be treated like ethnic heritage. We meet Clawdeens father! Apollo the human. Already I'm liking this set up a lot more than the Reboot (G2), she lives in a house instead of a cave, it's not crawling with puppies... This bodes well for the Relaunch*.

( * = I will be referring to 2016 as the Reboot and 2022 as the Relaunch to differentiate them with the 2010 debut series as the OG)

Clawdeen is the main character of this movie, which I think is pretty cool! Frankie had the reins for the OG run and Draculaura headed the Reboot (RIP Draculaura) so it's nice to see someone new take the lead! Clawdeen always has been leader of the pack!

However things fall apart right away as we learn that Clawdeen's father is making her a "Tofu & Jalapeño casserole with almonds" .... Why is Clawdeen.... a wolf and known carnivore getting tofu for her birthday dinner and not a steak? EXPLAIN!? A character eating tofu in media is usually shorthand for them being vegetarian, I hope that’s not what they are implying because a vegetarian diet will kill a wolf/dog.

Another implication that I don’t like is Clawdeen being an only child. Do you know how much Monster High falls apart if you remove the wolf pack!?!?! It’s POSSIBLE she’s not. We don’t know where her mom is (it’s implied she’s dead but first rule of Sci-Fi is no body = no death) so more kids could possibly, theoretically, maybe, be with her. I’m not holding out any hope, I’m just saying it’s possible. I'll even settle for them being her cousins.

Anyway.

Monster High is only accessible via a secret portal and you must now be accepted into Monster High with a letter carried by Gargoyle VS it just being a public school for monsters.

Before she leaves, Clawdeens father explicitly tells her that Monster High keeps humans out and that she should conceal her human heritage at all times.

We're introduced to everyone in the first song and OVER ALL? I like the look of the cast! Also “coming out of the dark” is a BOP!!! It’s not quite the anthem that “Fright Song” is but it’s WAY better than “How do you boo!”

Anyone in here know Latin!? I google translated what is on the insignia and it says "The knowledge of all the mountains within" ???

Edit: Clawdeena9 on YouTube was told at Vidcon that the insignia says "Monster Inside" or more literally "True Monster Heart"

SO the school itself is alive, it is a monster! it's also a dorm, which is not AS fun as the OG school but a lot more practical than the Reboot which had them living in a refurbished mansion.

Ceci Balagot didn't even audition for the role of Frankie, they just showed up to set and smiled and Mattel's casting director was like "that's our Frankie!" then someone on set was like "Ceci Balagot can't be Frankie! he's trans and non-binary!" and then the director was like "WELL THEN I guess Frankies non-binary now huh!?" and that is how we got our Non-binary simulacrum queen. Trust me, I was there.*

This version of Frankie isn't just made up of random body parts, she is made up of famous bodies and brains! her mind alone includes the likes of Einstein, Madam Curie, Plato and Elizabeth J. Feinler. How is she still in high school with body parts from grown ass adults? IDK but she looks like & has the mind of a teenager so we’re going to go with it!

Nayah Damasen as Draulaura is perfect casting, she's cute with just a hint of pedigree. Anyone mad that she's Filipina is getting hung up on the wrong things. "But Draculaura is Romanian! not Asian!!!!" First off, Romania is a location. There can be Filipino people born and raised in Romania. I'm confident half of you reading this are from America... are you Native American?... no?... then how are you American!? See how stupid that sounds. (also: Shout out to the like 4 Native followers I have, I got'chu!) Being angry that Draculaura isn't white is the most ridiculous BS you could possibly get mad over in a movie attempting to relaunch our beloved franchise. She’s adorable… she does however threaten to suck out Frankie & Clawdeen’s blood which… I’m not sure if it’s an empty threat or if she is no longer vegetarian. But if it’s the latter? I hate it.

Update: it is an empty threat, in Draculaura's music video she clearly states she is a vegetarian.

Frankie you can't just go into a vampires coffin! that's... rude? ... Invasive? I don't know what etiquette Vampires use for their coffins but Frankies question of "Do you view this as a house? or a bed?" was flippin' funny.

Everything that comes out of Frankies mouth is hilarious. They’re a curious little kitty! I also really like that they gave them mis-matched eye shadow to match Frankie’s Heterochromia! new fav! Ceci put their all into this role! their stilted movements really drive home the point that Frankie is new and not all parts cooperate well. *chefs kiss*

Monster Puns! eeeee!

Unfortunately, New Tumblr has a limit on how many pictures You’re allowed to post and I’m a terrible story teller without visual aides. SO! I’m going to cut this review into bite sized pieces.

Part 1/?

#Monster High #Monster high movie #* no i was not

[wolfeyedwitch]

I wish healthcare, and specifically healthcare insurance, was set up better. I have possible food allergies and an elimination diet was inconclusive, so my primary wants me to see an allergist.

How the process should go:

Primary refers me to an allergist

I call the allergist to set up an appointment

I go see the allergist.

That's it. That's literally how simple it should be.

How the process is actually going:

Primary refers me to an allergist

I call the allergist to set up an appointment

The lovely lady on the phone says that unfortunately that office doesn't take my insurance

I say no problem, I'll pay out of pocket

She informs me that it will be $200-350 for just the appointment, with the testing that is almost certain to happen costing another $11 per stick for skin testing. (I have 7 allergens needing testing, and I think they do multiple strengths to see just how much is needed for you to react)

I say yikes, thank you for informing me of that, I don't want to make an appointment at this time

I go back to my primary and say hi that allergist wasn't covered by my insurance could you please refer me to one that is

My doctor's staff informs me that it's my job to find which doctors are covered by my insurance and that they can't do that, and I should contact them again when I had names of local allergists that my insurance will cover

I boggle at that for a while and then go fuck it I think I just won't see an allergist, I'm not having any kind of change on this elimination diet anyway so I probably don't have allergies so what's the point

I end the elimination diet and celebrate the end of it by eating plenty of gluten and dairy, two of the things I was restricted from.

I get abdominal pain.

The abdominal pain is still here the next day.

I think yeah maybe I should actually see an allergist about this, at least skin testing will give more definitive answers and I can ask what the heck kind of symptoms even happen with this because I'm Confused and my primary didn't go into a ton of detail.

That's where I'm at. I still need to 1) look up who's covered by my insurance, and 2) contact my doc to get a referral to someone covered by my insurance, and then 3) actually make that appointment.

Screw all of this. I'm torn between wanting this to actually be something because then it's a concrete answer for some of my problems, and wanting this not to be anything because I desperately do not want to give up dairy and gluten. My diet is weird enough as it is, but I've been relatively stable on it, and now I'm messing with it and it's just. Complicated.

#medical stuff #health issues #food allergies #allergies #insurance #health insurance is bullshit

[useless-bi-otch]

Cookies'n Cream - Chapter 6

Last chapter / MasterList / art by @aneenasevla

Chapter 6 - Rice Balls and Coincidences

"Alright then, what are the most essential items on the list?

"Soy sauce, snacks, a load of beer, condoms-"

"I'm talking about the list of essential ingredients for the rice balls!

"Welp, no matter how you look at it, my list at least is manly."

"Our goal was to come here to buy ingredients to start a more balanced diet, but you guys are already wanting to go astray like this…" Himuro rolls his eyes while the automatic doors open for their passage with a characteristic musical sound "Looks like every day is garbage day now."

"Come on, guys, don’t go astray!" Okubo says imperiously, taking the lead of the group as if he were the leader of an expeditionary team, and the great Kinokuniya market, the lost temple that they should explore "Let's take this seriously and go grocery shopping like the group of mature and responsible adults that we are!"

“Look, I don't know what group you're talking about, man, but it's definitely not this one."

"And who the hell made you the head of the operation, huh?" Lihito pushes him aside, looking unimpressed. Okubo shakes the shopping list in his face in response.

"I'm the one who wrote the list!"

"At whose behest? Oooh..." He seems to understand something, opening a very naughty smile "Would you look at that! Already following orders from your lady boss, eh? Look, guys, what a gifted housewife we have among us!"

"Go suck a bag of dicks", Okubo grunts low, turning his eyes to the list in an attempt to hide a slight blush "She simply recommended the best brands for ingredients, and with her being a professional cook, I'll trust her word. That's it."

"Well, my friend, that is the big difference between you and me. I never let a woman tell me what to do" Rihito declares, raising his chin "And it doesn't matter how professional she is. A man has to know how to impose himself and express his authority clearly. For example, I don't need a girl to tell me this parsley here isn't all that fresh from the looks of the leaves.” He picks up a random tray from the vegetable and legume shelves, showing it off haughtily.

“Yeah, Rihito, but you'd probably need a girl to tell you that that's cilantro, not parsley,” Himuro comments calmly, and Okubo and Kaneda laugh heartily when Rihito's face reddens. He returns the tray to the shelf with an irritated huff.

"They look too similar! Leave me alone!"

"Similar or not, there can be no confusion," Kaneda decrees while heading to a discreet corner, where shopping carts were lined up, available to customers. He chooses one and goes back to his friends, happy as he comments: 

"Wow, I think this is the first time we're all going shopping together, isn't it? This will be fun!"

"Bro, let go of that shopping cart, for fuck's sake. Only old hags and moms with their snot-nosed brats use these things," Lihito moans, and Himuro arches an eyebrow at him.

"That wasn't what you seemed to think at that time, when you and Okubo got drunk and decided to bet who could go downhill the fastest in carts like this one..."

"Yeah, they only forgot that the carts are small and didn't think they would get their butts stuck like that-"

"Oookay, that's enough reminiscence for now!" Okubo quickly interrupts Kaneda "The cart will help a lot, so let's not get all prissy because of it, okay? Let's just buy what we need and go back to my apartment soon, because I can't wait to eat these umeboshi-filled rice balls" He takes his phone out of his pocket, opening a specific contact with a happy smile "Miss Uta said we can pair them great with turnip and green tea-"

"Green Tea? Who's getting prissy now?! I want beer!"

"Beer defeats the whole purpose of this pre-workout snack, dumbass! Now no more complaining, 'let's look for these ingredients before it gets too late for us to cook."

“Roger that, Commander Buzz Lightyear of the Star Command. Come on, I want everyone doing a conga line behind Okubo!" Lihito raises a right fist in the air while holding his friend's shoulder with his left.

"Stop dicking around, man. And fuck off with that Buzz Lightyear shit!"

“Train-Train, rushing forward! Train-train, and it never stooooops!”

"I swear if anyone asks, I'll pretend I don't know you" Himuro mutters, while Kaneda just laughs, the four of them following together through the various aisles of the supermarket.

But in fact, now that Okubo stopped to think about it, this was the first time since they had known each other that all four of them went shopping together. They had argued hours before in the apartment over who would be in charge of buying the ingredients, even trying to escape the task through drawing straws. 

The binge they'd had on takoyaki, cheesecake, booze and his precious cookies the night before (these motherfuckers got him drunk to convince him to share everything in the box with them, there wasn't a crumb left to tell the tale) had left him a little lazy, and he hadn't been in the mood to wander around a cold, noisy supermarket... until he woke up to some texts from Tomori, when the sun was already starting to go down in the sky.

Uta_Tomori:

good afternoon mt okubo

Today is grocery shopping day, right?

I hope your friends and you can find everything I suggested

tip: avoid these industrialized ready-to-eat foods

your stomachs will thank you, trust me haha

Do you want me to give you the names of the brands I usually buy?

I'll love to see the photos later

He had jumped up from the sofa, disoriented and very guilty, and the only reason he didn't immediately run out of the apartment was because Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda had stopped him.

"Calm down, man, going out on a rampage won't make you get those ingredients any faster" Himuro tried to calm him down "You're even risking buying low-quality stuff, because you're not paying enough attention."

"And anyway, we don't need to make these rice balls today" Lihito had shrugged "She doesn't even need to know that we didn't cook them."

"But I promised to send her pictures! And she pointed me to a lot of quality ingredients, wanting to help me and you guys..." He had lamented "I don't want to give the impression that I'm uninterested in the things that excite her."

The other three had stared at him, Lihito and Himuro exchanging confused looks afterwards. They understood wanting to get in a pretty girl's good side, but wasn't Okubo overreacting a bit?

Kaneda, on the other hand, had just smiled and said: 

"Then let's all go grocery shopping together!"

"Huh? All of us together?"

"Yeah, why not? That way shopping will be much faster, and we'll also ensure that Okubo follows Miss Uta's tips to the letter. I know better than anyone how bad you guys are at following instructions, so it'll be a guarantee" He gave a friendly pat on Okubo-s arm, who closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Thanks, guys..."

And the sincere thanks were enough to convince Rihito and Himuro as well. Holy shit, the things they'd put themselves through to help a friend increase their chances of scoring with a girl…

And now there were the four of them, an extremely unlikely group to see walking through a supermarket, searching the aisles and shelves for the best ingredients to cook rice balls with umeboshi filling. Kaneda was the most knowledgeable about cooking, so Okubo ends up leaving the shopping list with him, focusing on reviewing the tips Tomori had sent him by text.

"No, seriously, do we really need to spend so much buying ingredients when we can very well buy ready-made rice balls?" Lihito asks, picking up a tray on another shelf "It's way cheaper and tastes just as good."

"It’s not that cheap if you consider that, if we buy ready-made rice balls for every pre-workout, we’ll spend more than we would if we bought a good amount of ingredients at once and made rice balls with them over the weeks," Himuro replies while checking the lower shelves. Kaneda nods.

"Yep. Not to mention that Miss Uta could very well notice that the rice balls in the photos that Okubo will send were bought off the shelf, rather than freshly made. Right?" He smiles at Okubo "She must have the sharp eyes of a professional cook, after all."

"Exactly! Come on, guys, no buying ready-to-eat food. I don't want her to think I'm a cheater" He shudders just from considering that possibility "And it's good that we learn something new too."

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Holy shit, all this production just to get laid... Will you guys make a movie out of it or something?"

"Shut up, Rihito," Okubo mutters, but Rihito's words caused him some embarrassment, as well as raising pertinent questions. He was right, in a way. Why was he going to all that extravagant effort just to impress a girl? A nice, funny, beautiful girl, that was for sure, but he'd had several crushes on other women before he met her, and none of them resulted in a trip to the supermarket on a Saturday afternoon that could have been better spent playing video games, gambling and drinking their asses off…

He opens her contact in his messages, mouth twisting a little in discomfort. The truth is, he already knew the answer. The memory of that crappy poster and her confession of her unwavering devotion to fighters other than himself was still very fresh in his mind. And ever since the texts she'd sent him earlier that afternoon, he'd been gripped by an almost visceral need to show her how much better, more caring and more devoted he was than any other idol she could have. Mostly he wanted to show that he was better than that kid on the poster, who had such a pretty, punchable face.

It was ridiculous. It was pathetic. And he just couldn't help feeling that way. If those three had known, he would probably never have a peaceful day in his life again. So it was better to keep quiet and let them think what they wanted.

"Yeah, shut up, Rihito. What are the ingredients on the list, Kaneda?" Himuro asks, looking over the shoulder of the shorter one.

"The basics for making rice balls. Rice, seaweed, vinegar, granulated sugar, kosher salt... and of course, umeboshi. And to think that there are even specific brands to make the best possible rice balls... only they aren't very cheap," He makes a face as he checks the list more closely.

"No shit. They seem to be professional brands. Hell, I don't have that much money to spend, even if we share the costs..."

"No worries, she recommended some more affordable brands. Let's start with them first" Okubo suggests, and Kaneda redirects the cart, the four of them heading to another wing of the supermarket "Then we tell her how the experience went."

"Dude, you're really counting on her to have the last word in this whole affair, aren't you? What, are you going to bring some rice balls for her to eat at lunch break?" Lihito asks, smirking, but then he widens his eyes when Okubo frowns, thinking.

"I don't know, sounds kinda invasive. But it would also be retribution for the cookies and her fan affection, wouldn't it? If they turn out good enough I might even consider..."

"Holy fuck, man, it was a joke! Guys, we are witnessing an unprecedented transformation here!" He says in a dramatic tone, albeit low, indicating Okubo with a wide gesture of his arms, to which he cringes "Okubo Naoya has become the female protagonist of a soap opera! Stay tuned for the next episode, where our hero with too much muscle and too little brain will try to win the affection of a muscle-lover cook with rice balls stuffed with salted plum!"

"Shut up, you idiot, people will hear you…!"

"You will see all this and much more on this same channel, at this same time, in the thrilling drama The Misadventures of the Pussy Pleas-"

"Shut the fuck up already!" Okubo hisses, furious and mortified, while Himuro, Kaneda and he put their hands ove Lihito's mouth, who had tears of laughter in his eyes “What's your problem, dude? I swear, there's something wrong with you!"

"And I'm serious, I'll pretend I've never seen you before if security comes to throw you out of the market," Himuro hisses too, and Lihito just laughs harder.

"I'm kidding, guys, jezz!" He gasps after brushing their hands away "How was I supposed to react after hearing something like that? You're talking about taking a lunchbox to this girl's work, bro. Exactly like the gifted housewife I said you're becoming."

"It's not like that! I already told you that I'd be only returning her kindness!"

"Yeah, and I also think that Miss Uta would like to try these onigiris," Kaneda comments "Even if it's just to evaluate your first attempt. We can take some to her as a treat from all of us, how about that?"

"Yeah, not a bad idea. It'd be a way to thank her for the tips given. Nothing more than that, right?" Himuro arches an eyebrow at Okubo, who looks to the side, fearing that his friend saw something in his eyes that betrayed his thoughts.

"Yeah, that 's all."

"Alright, alright, you can let go of me now, I only want girls squeezing me like this," Rihito grumbles, and they take a step back, composing themselves "But yeah, when you put it that way... she will be very grateful for your ‘kindness’," He makes quotation marks with his fingers "That might even be the cue you need!"

"Cue?"

"Yeah! A treat like that would leave any woman swooning! Asking her on a date after that would be a piece of cake. And then..." He lowers and raises his eyebrows "Well, you would see how my ‘manly shopping list’ was a good idea."

"Aaand apparently, what I said last Saturday fell on deaf ears..." Kaneda sighs, to which Okubo shakes his head quickly.

"Not for me, I've still been thinking about what you said! It's just that- oh boy, she's texting me! Hang on..." He immediately turns all attention to the phone, moving a little away from his friends to have some privacy. He could still hear them though.

"There goes that traitor, ignoring the pals in favor of a pair of tits..."

"You are the one ignoring someone here. I can't believe you didn't absorb any of the things I said last Saturday."

"Chill out, Kaneda, I remember every word you said. And Okubo is following each of the steps you've suggested and taking things easy... too easy, actually."

"But you were already suggesting that he should use the rice balls as a pretext!"

"It's not a pretext, it is an obvious and inevitable consequence! Since cave times men have taken food to women as proof of their virility and efficiency as providers. It's in their instinct to get hooked on these things."

"Welp, now we know what you majored in when you attended Teito University. Fuckboy Anthropology."

“Fuck off, Himuro!”

The three continued to bicker further back, but Okubo tried not to listen to them, all his attention turning to the texts Tomori was sending him.

Tomori_Uta:

hi again!

how was grocery day?

mine is in full swing lol

He smiles, already typing his reply. With or without the disturbing poster to gnaw at his subconscious, chatting with her via text was still a pleasure.

Okubo_Naoya:

haha I'm happy for ya

I wish we were this lucky

we don't know much about picking ingredients and stuff

Uta_Tomori:

I can help if you want!

you're struggling with what exactly?

Okubo_Naoya:

... everything

sorry lol

Uta_Tomori:

men

lmao jk

that's why I'm here

you can count on your self-proclaimed nutritionist!

“Damn, she's so cute!” he squeals in thought, the fit of cuteness making him want to punch something in a burst of gleeful violence.

Okubo_Naoya:

hell yeah i'm saved!

LMAO

so, we were going to start with the rice brands

Tomori_Uta:

oh that’s the easiest part!

wait, I’m getting a call

brb

Okubo_Naoya:

sure!

He closes the phone, smiling to himself, finally feeling that the grocery day would pay off…

Until he started to hear the distinct sound of a phone ringing, moving closer and closer to the hallway where he and his friends were, until it stopped a second later.

He frowns, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as if in warning. What bizarre feeling was that? As if something inside him was warning him, some primal instinct... that's what made him stick his head out from behind one of the shelves in the hall, peering, searching…

"Hi Mom! No, I'm not busy, we can talk."

And the squeaky sound of desperation that came out of his mouth was something that probably never came from anyone else's.

"IZZATH!!!" He screeches, almost at a frequency that only dogs could hear, running past Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda, who stared at him in astonishment.

"Dude, what the fuck was that noise?!"

"What's wrong, Okubo? You look like you saw a ghost or-"

"It's her!," He hisses, his back flat against a shelf, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows "Miss Uta's here at the market!"

" Say what?!," The other three shriek a little too and immediately stick their heads out from behind the shelf, peering down the hall and widening their eyes.

"Holy shit, it's really her! What is she doing here?," Lihito whispers.

"Saturday shopping, perhaps? She was also out grocery shopping last Saturday when Okubo called her, right?," Himuro ponders, to which Kaneda smiles.

"Wow, what a coincidence! Let's go say hi-"

"No!," Okubo gives Kaneda an armbar to bring him to him, to which the shorter one lets out a squeaky little scream "She can't see us here!"

"Wha- why not?!"

"Because she might get the completely wrong idea! Don't you hear those stories on television about women being stalked by crazy freaks?," He asks in a low growl, his eyes bugging out "Crazy, obsessed men who follow them absolutely anywhere?"

"What are you getting at?"

"She might think I'm doing the same!"

The other three looked at each other, unimpressed, Kaneda still clutching his friend's arm pressed against his neck.

"Or maybe. Like, just maybe...," Himuro speaks slowly, as if he was explaining arithmetic problems to someone particularly slow "She might think it’s just a coincidence. Y'know? Like a normal, sane person."

"That's the problem, it's too much of a coincidence! We were talking about trips to the supermarket just yesterday, and now we bump into each other here, just like that?! No, I'd rather not risk it," He also peeks from behind the shelf, still holding Kaneda, almost lifting him off the ground "I don't want her to think I'm a stalker."

"She- she won't think that if she sees you with us," Kaneda gasps, still trying to push his friend's arm away "Stalkers don't walk in groups."

"She might think they started to, precisely because of that preconceived concept! She might think we're... I dunno, super stalkers or something."

"Super stalkers? Sounds like an indie band name..."

"Seriously, Okubo, I think you took so long to drink your booze yesterday that it actually fermented. You're not making any sense..."

"Shut up, she might hear you!," Okubo finally lets go of Kaneda, who takes a deep breath, almost losing his balance. He pushes Rihito and Himuro aside, peeking with his hands gripping one of the shelves "Please, Miss Uta, go to another aisle, please...!"

Tomori, as expected, didn't hear him. She was laughing into her phone, looking very relaxed as she pushed her already full shopping cart forward. He wore simple, casual clothes: a pink shirt with short, puffy sleeves and blue jeans. It was the first time he saw her without an apron and with her hair loose, which went down in waves over her shoulders.

"Oh, Mom, I don't even know why you still insist on that," She was saying in affectionate exasperation "You know Dad, he's stubborn like all hell. If he won't even listen to you, why’d he listen to the doctor? ... Yes, I can help by talking to him, but I'll do that on my next visit. It's better to talk about these things in person than over the phone. I haven’t even had time for this, actually..."

"We better take advantage of her being distracted  and just shag ass," Okubo whispers to the others "Let's leave while there's still time."

"Damn, dude, you sound like someone running away from an ex they cheated on," Lihito grumbles, sounding bored "You were all over this girl's sweetness a few minutes ago, and now you don't even want to risk bumping into her in a supermarket aisle? What, you're getting more bipolar than Agito or something?"

"Screw you, man, it's not like that! I just don't want her to think I'm spying on her, 'cause that's definitely not what I'm doing here and- wooow, would you look at that!," He whistles suddenly, widening his eyes when Tomori leans over to support an arm on the bar of the shopping cart, the movement making the fabric of her clothes adhere more to hetr body. And from that angle, he could see everything: the curves of her waist and hips, the cleavage that exposed part of her breasts, her legs and... holy shit, that ass…

“Wha- oooh, boy, that's what I'm talkin' about!,” Rihito leans over to be able to peek too, almost salivating with the view "Seeing her away from a counter, without that apron, is something else, isn't it?"

"Hell yeah! Man, I never noticed how she's all soft and curvy... I want to squeeze her sides so bad...!"

"I'm so fucking envious of you! That's some quality meat there."

"I know, right! She's gorgeous, holy shit..."

"Aaand now you're behaving like stalkers," Kaneda grumbles disapprovingly, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

"Yep. Get a grip, man, even if you only want something casual, you should respect her a little more," Himuro warns, to which Okubo makes a dismissive gesture over his shoulder, without even turning his head.

"I respect her a lot, dude! But what's wrong with looking at, appreciating and complimenting a pretty thang?"

"Exactly! Especially considering he's going to bed her later. That's quality assurance for ya," Rihito raises a thumb.

“I swear, you guys can be really gross when you want to."

Okubo clicks his tongue impatiently. They weren't gross just for taking a harmless peek! Pretty things should really be appreciated. And Uta Tomori was more than pretty. She was beautiful. Hot, even. He couldn't believe what a lucky son of a bitch he was, goddamn it-

"Yeah, I've been busy lately. Remember how I told you I was helping a friend with nutrition issues?," She says suddenly, turning around so that her face is more visible. She was smiling, cheeks rosy, brown eyes twinkling "I was doing ecxactly that a few minutes before you called! I almost got distracted and forgot to answer you…,” She is silent for a few more seconds, listening. And then she laughs "Ahaha, stop it, Mom! It's a friendship that came at just the right time, simply. But yeah, he's so cute! He makes me laugh, treats me with respect, compliments my cooking... guys like that are hard to find these days, you know? I think I got lucky..."

...

Okubo had never hated himself as much as he did at that moment.

He goes back to hiding behind the shelf, his expression devastated, while Himuro and Kaneda stare at him with embarrassment. Even Rihito stopped peeking, grimacing in discomfort.

"Uuh… can we just forget we had this conversation?"

"Damn it…" Okubo moans, running his hands over his scalp "She's right there, speaking highly of me to her mother, and I'm here just… just… fuck, I'm such a piece of shit!"

"Yes, you are," Himuro and Kaneda say at the same time.

"You don't have to agree so quickly!"

"Just accept your shitty status and move on, man, it's the best thing you can do."

"You were peeping at her too, you asshole!"

“If you keep yelling like that, she'll hear you,” Himuro warns, to which Okubo shuts up at once, his shoulders shrugging. 

He lets out a slightly shaky breath before turning back to peeking out from behind the shelf. Tomori kept talking on the phone calmly, having no idea that she had just been the object of scrutiny by two good-for-nothing perverts, one of them being her precious idol.

He feels remorse churning in his stomach again. Why was he like this? Why couldn't he behave like a functioning, grown man around a beautiful woman, let alone one who seemed to have a mutual interest in him? The memories of those humiliating minutes in that bistro came flooding back, the college girls' expressions of embarrassed discomfort vivid in his mind.

“That's exactly why you're thirty-six and still single.”

He lowers his eyes in sadness. Yeah, she definitely wouldn't like the real Okubo Naoya if she met him…

"Hey, man…" He hears Rihito call suddenly, sounding worried "Come on, don't get all bummed… there's time to fix this mess, just stop peeping on her."

"I'm not peeping anymore. Just…," He doesn't quite know how to continue, gesturing uncertainly with one hand "Just thinking about what to do now. Is it okay to go talk to her?"

"Of course it is. We told you, she'll just see it as a coincidence," Kaneda assures him.

"And she'll certainly be happy, if we consider all your interactions so far," Himuro comments "Just have some decency and try not to stare at her cleavage or anything like that."

"Yeah, that's very wrong!"

"If you're going to peek, don't be too obvious. Discretion is key."

"Himuro! Uugh, sometimes I forget that you're also a hopeless womanizer..."

“I'm a saint compared to these two."

"That's funny coming from the biggest man-whore this side of Tokyo!"

Okubo leaves the three bickering, still watching Tomori. She looked very happy, making small talk with her mother, her expression placid... it made him want to smile too. And to be the cause of more of those smiles coming from her. He takes a deep breath.

"Okay, I... I think we can go over to her, just to say hi-"

"Yes, I can go see you guys tomorrow, I'll have Sunday off," Tomori says suddenly, redirecting the shopping cart "Now I have to hang up, mom, I already bought almost everything, and I need to talk to my friend too. No, I'm not ditching you for a man, don't be dramatic..."

And Okubo jumps back in sudden panic when he realizes that she was coming straight into the aisle where they were standing.

"AAIEEEE!" 

He bumps into Rihito when he practically throws himself behind the shelf, which in return bumps into Himuro, who, as in a perfect domino effect, also bumps into Kaneda, the four of them ending up on the floor in a mess of arms, legs and wheels of a shopping cart being wheeled along with them, along with several packages from the shelves.

"ARGH! Fucking hell, Okubo!"

"Get off of me, dammit!"

"Rihito! Get your knee off my belly!"

"And you get your foot off my balls, that shit hurts!"

"She's coming this way!" He screeches in terror as the four of them try to straighten up, the other two people besides them in the aisle staring at them "​​We have to get the hell outta here!"

"What? Weren't you saying just now that we could say hi?!"

"No! I changed my mind! She definitely heard us and she'll think we're stalking her!"

"Argh, go get your head examined, you paranoid fuck!," Rihito yells impatiently while an extremely red Kaneda collected the dropped packages. Himuro patts his hands on his pants to clean them, grinding his teeth.

"Stop acting like a moron, no sane person comes to such a conclusion like that! She'll probably just- what the hell are you doing?" He asks stunned when Okubo runs behind him, grabbing his shoulders.

"I don't know, trying to hide! Hold still!"

"Behind me? You're almost seven feet tall, dumbass! How am I supposed to hide you behind me?!"

"Stop yelling, everyone is watching us," Kaneda asks scandalized, turning quickly to the other people in the corridor, still astonished "Sorry about that, guys! We- We just tripped a little, it's nothing serious...!"

"No it is serious! Come on, lift that cart, we have to go!," Okubo hurries them, grabbing the shopping cart and putting it on its feet, which made Rihito squeal:

"You already did that yourself!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Okubo," Kaneda, still holding some of the packages that fell, walks past his friends in decided strides "We've already been embarrassed enough for one weekend. Let's get this over with, shall we? I'm going to go talk to her right now."

"No, Kaneda, don't do that!"

"Miss Uta!" He calls, waving "Hellooo- AIEEEEEE!" and then he screeched when Okubo grabbed him and put him inside the shopping cart "Okubo! What are you doing?!"

"Oh- I don't know, I'm not thinking straight and- shit, shit, she's coming!," Okubo grabs the bar of the shopping cart and Kaneda screams in fright, having to grab the sides of the cart to not fall, when he redirects it in a 180 degree turn and shoots out of the aisle with it. Rihito and Himuro follow quickly, without much choice, mortified to see all the astonished stares from the other supermarket customers following them.

"Dude, are you crazy?!"

"Are we going to take Kaneda to the self-checkout or the normal checkout?

"Rihito, you're not helping! Okubo, stop, I'm going to fall off the cart!"

"Hold on, let me just get a good distance!"

"I swear, that was the first and last time I go grocery shopping with you!," He yells again as the cart makes another sharp turn, almost tipping over to the side and knocking him off. They enter another aisle, panting hard from their rush, Kaneda shivering a little in the cart.

"Okay… Okay… I think we're safe now…," Okubo looks over his shoulder "Coast is clear, guys."

"Don't give me that 'coast is clear' nonsense! Let me get off the cart!"

"Sorry, man, but desperate situations call for desperate measures..."

'There was nothing desperate about this, you lunatic! Ugh, security must've seen us on the cameras by now," Himuro grunts, putting a hand on his sweaty face "We'll never be able to enter this place again..."

“Eh, it's not like this is the first market I've been kicked out of.” Rihito shrugs, and Kaneda stares at him in amazement.

"Oh my god, I'm afraid to even ask..."

"Anyway! I'm really sorry, guys...," Okubo seemed to have calmed down enough to realize what he had done, and now his face was furiously red "I- I guess those rice balls will have to wait another day..."

"And we still don't know why! What's gotten into you, man? Are you twelve again, running away from your crush like you're still a virgin?!"

"It's not that! Dammit, you don't understand my situation..."

"The only thing we could understand is that you're a fucking pansy!," Lihito grunts, pointing to his friend's nose.

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! The biggest pansy I've seen in my whole life! One that acts all manly during his matches, but then turns around and shits his pants when it's time to talk to a girl!"

"Fuck you, I explained my reasons! The situation isn’t favorable-"

"For who? What could be more favorable than a casual and relaxed encounter in a public place?," Himuro gestures, now more perplexed than actually angry "Seriously, man, what's going on with you? You've never acted like that over a girl before! It's like you're traumatized or something, I don't know."

They see how Okubo tenses every muscle, teeth clenching, eyes straying from theirs for a second, but that was enough to make them conclude that, perhaps, Himuro had hit the nail on the head. They were about to inquire further, but are interrupted by a song that was very familiar to them.

“Dame da neeee! Dame yo, Dame na no yoooo…”

They start a little, Okubo already taking his phone out of his pocket. He lets out a hiss through his teeth, his eyes widening when he sees that it was Tomori. He looks at the other three, whereupon Himuro and Kaneda make sharp, irritated gestures, and Lihito hisses an “answer that shit!” between his teeth. He does just that, stomach doing somersaults.

"Uuh... Miss Uta?"

"I knew I heard a familiar voice just now!"

The voice that answered him did not come from the phone. It came from behind him. They turned, startled, and found Tomori coming towards them, coming out from behind the shelves of a aisle and pushing her cart with her left hand, her right hand holding her phone. She smiled with the power of a ray of sunlight.

"Mr. Okubo! I can't believe we ended up going shopping at the same market! And you're with your friends too... uuh... did I come at a bad time?," she asks suddenly, hesitant as she analyzes the situation ahead. And then they remembered that Kaneda was still inside the shopping cart when it toppled to the side with a crash, driven by his frustrated attempts to get out of it.

"Ouch! Oow, my leg...!"

"Kaneda! You okay there?" Rihito and Himuro recover faster from their astonishment, immediately going to help their friend. Okubo remains with his feet locked in place, torn between the instinct to run to Kaneda's aid and the mixture of extreme embarrassment and elation at seeing Tomori in front of him. Holy shit, he had nowhere else to run now! What was he going to do, what was he going to-

"Hey, are you okay?," And she runs past him, Okubo catching a glimpse of her worried expression. He turned, blinking, and watched as she reached down along with a very surprised Rihito and Himuro to help Kaneda to his feet.

"Oh... I-I'm fine, Miss, don't bother..."

"No, it's fine. You might have landed on your leg," She quickly looks for something inside her purse "I stopped by the pharmacy before I went shopping and bought some ointment. Want me to help you with that?"

"What- no, you don't have to! I'm fine, I swear," Kaneda assures, now a little flushed while shaking a hand "I'm tougher than I look, haha."

"That's right, Miss Uta. Kaneda's size is a bit deceiving," Himuro hastens to say, squeezing his friend's shoulder, and Rihito nods, pointing to the smaller one with a wide smile.

"Yeah, we've seen him take down guys twice his size, like the little ninja he is!"

"Come on now, Rihito...," Kaneda blushes even more, but ends up smiling when Tomori laughs.

"If you say so, hahaha. But... why are you inside a shopping cart, if I may ask?"

"Uh... it's- it's because..."

"It's because we made a bet!," Rihito hurried to say, at the same time pointing to Okubo, who was still paralyzed like a deer caught in the headlights "Okubo and I, that is. He bet Kaneda couldn't fit in the shopping cart, and I bet he did. Do you see, man? Don't underestimate the flexibility of a Kujyn Style master at an impressive five feet seven inches tall.”

"You could've claimed victory without throwing my short stature in my face like that..." Kaneda sighs, and Tomori laughs again.

"Hahaha, why am I not surprised? Apparently this happens often when you hang out together, right?," She turns to Okubo, smiling amused "I'm glad we met like this, by chance. Because I think these purchases would take longer if it were otherwise, hehe."

Okubo blinks, expression almost looking blank. And then he breaks into a huge smile and scratches the back of his head happily as he says, “Yeah! You fell from heaven for us, Miss Uta, hahaha!"

“Idiot changed his tune in the blink of an eye...”, The three of them thought together, as if they shared a telepathic link. Tomori, on the other hand, was flushed with happiness, squeezing her face between her hands, that adorable smile that made Okubo's heart skip a beat breaking out on her face.

"Oh, stop it, you..."

"It's the truth! I said in the texts, we were lost in this search for ingredients. You couldn't have arrived at a better time. Isn't it, guys,?" He smiles at his friends; that same sharp smile that hid a murderous intent that they knew too well.

"Say anything about what happened and I'll beat the shit outta you all!"

The urge to rat him out to Uta Tomori was almost irresistible, but for the sake of that thankless friendship, they decided in silent agreement that they would go with the flow. After all, you can't walk in the rain without getting wet, right?

"Yep! We had a lot of doubts about brands, prices...," Himuro sighs, and Rihito nods.

"There's just so much to choose from, so many possibilities to consider! Brands of rice, salt, vinegar... too many little details for our manly, combat-focused minds, you know?"

Tomori laughs again, while Okubo huffs, "Stop it, dude, or she'll think we're nothing but a bunch of musclebrains..."

"Oh no, I promise I won't. It can be complicated for those who don't work in the industry or simply aren't in the habit of comparing brands and prices."

"That's the problem, Miss Uta, Rihito here is, sometimes. He owns a fridge."

"Really? That's nice!," Tomori smiles at Rihito, who gives a surprisingly shy smile while scratching the back of his head "Who knows, maybe you're one of our suppliers. What's the name of your company?"

"SF Cold Storage. Who knows, maybe we'll find some of the products I stock here!," He points to himself with his thumb, smiling confidently. Tomori nods excitedly, but then seems to realize something. The four of them frown as she flinches a little, suddenly shy.

"I… I won't be bothering you if I walk with you, will I?"

"What? Why would you think something like that?," Okubo asks, confused, and she blushes more, rubbing her right arm.

"It's just that you're together here, having fun as a group while shopping, basically a men's day… I don't want you to feel obliged to accept the presence of a girl, you know…"

"Obliged? Missa Uta, one of the things that piss me off the most about this group here is how it's only made up of sausages of all different sizes! A woman is a welcomed adition!" Lihito exclaims, to which Himuro puts his hand on his face with an exasperated grunt, Kaneda blushes again and Okubo growls: 

"Have some respect, man, you're talking to a lady!"

Tomori, on the other hand, seemed to take the comment in stride. She laughs, visibly more relaxed.

"No, it's okay, really. I'm glad to know I won't bother."

"Sure you won't! Especially because you made our pal here very happy, appearing out of the blue like that," Rihito, with a devilish smile, slaps Okubo on the shoulder, making him lose his balance for a second "He didn't let go of that phone the whole trip!"

"Dude, shut up!"

"But it's true. He even left me in charge of the shopping list, just so he could continue texting you," Kaneda takes part in the psychological torture, apparently wanting revenge for the shopping cart incident. Okubo glared at him with a look that was somewhere between furious and desperate.

"Damn, even you, you little-"

"And he didn't stop commenting on your tips regarding ingredients" Himuro completes, his light eyes showing a shine that was cruel "You've found a very devoted student, miss, haha."

"Ugh, I hate you guys...," Okubo moans, hiding his furiously red face in one hand. Tomori was blushing too, but the happiness in her eyes was so blatant that is was embarrassing. He even felt a little suffocated when he looked at her.

"I'm so happy to hear that! Many people stop listening to what I say after a while. They say that I chatter too much when I get excited, that I never shut up..."

"Wha- whoever said that is one hell of an idiot!" He says on impulse, suddenly indignant "The way you talk passionately about your interests is one of the best parts of talking to you."

She stares at him, looking too stunned to speak, and only then does he realize what he's just said. Holy shit, why didn't one of those three start knocking him out with a coup de grace every time he opened his mouth, at least until he learned not to let his tongue walk two steps in front of his head?!

But Tomori didn't seem to share his thoughts, if the goofy smirk that took over her face was any indication.

"Please, stop, Mr. Okubo...! You- You're going to make me faint in the middle of the market...!"

"Oh- ahaha, but it's the truth! Okay, okay, sorry...," He laughs, deeply relieved. His ears pick up the unmistakable sound of snickering, and he immediately casts a scowl at his friends. Kaneda hid his mouth behind his right hand, while Himuro laughed more openly. Rihito simply gives him a thumbs-up, whispering so only he can hear: 

“You're fucking welcome, asshole."

Okubo would've flipped him the bird if Tomori hadn't been right in his field of vision. She takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself, and lifts her head, running her hands through her wavy, shiny hair (damn, he'd love to run his fingers through those locks when he had the chance) before decreeing: 

"Very well... you need my help, right? So that's what you'll get. You're the one with the shopping list... Kaneda, isn't it?"

"Precisely. Kaneda Suekichi, at your service," He does a small bow, to which Tomori nods with an adorable little smile.

"Nice to meet you. Oh, now I want to see if I remember all your names! Himuro, right?" She points to Himuro, who nods politely.

"Himuro Ryo. It's a pleasure too."

"Likewise, Himuro! And... Rihito?," She turns to Rihito, turning her head a little to the side "Is that a nickname?"

"Oh, it's much more than a simple nickname, lady," He points to his own chest with his thumb, smiling haughtily "It's an identity! Like the identities that comic book superheroes forge for themselves, you know? Renowned public figures who maintain that air of mystery, never revealing who they really are behind the mask and awakening fascination in all the-”

"His name is Nakata Ichiro, but he prefers the nickname."

"Come on, Okubo, don't ruin the magic! And I already said that it's not just a nickname! Come on, stop laughing!," He complains loudly, being summarily ignored. Okubo already felt quite satisfied with that little private revenge. Especially since he managed to make Tomori laugh.

"Ahahaha! Oh, god... anyway, thanks for having me, Kaneda, Himuro, Nakata-"

“Rihito! Call me Rihito, please!”

"Okay, okay. I know that for you I am, first and foremost, a fan of Mr. Okubo. But I hope I can get along with you too!," She does a small bow, eyes closed, so she doesn't see the way Okubo looked at her, his face flushed and his eyes sparkling with fierce affection.

And she also doesn't see how Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda tensed, caught by surprise. Hell... that chick really was cute, wasn't she? The monumental crush that Okubo had developed for her in such a short time no longer seemed so absurd to them.

"Uh… don't worry, Miss Uta. After we eat your sugar cookies for the first time, getting along with you became one of our life goals," Himuro jokes, and Tomori laughs heartily.

"Show up whenever you want at the Heavy Bakery and they will always be available! Now, the shopping list. Where is it?"

“Uuh… I think I dropped it back there. When I was in the cart..." Kaneda casts an accusing look at Okubo, who has to try very hard not to show his discomfort and keep smiling. They look to the ground, searching, until Rihito exclaims:

"Hey, I found our spare list! It was in my pocket, I ended up forgetting..."

"That's great! Excuse me...", She picks up the list he held out to her "Let's see... oh...," She suddenly frowns, confused and a little embarrassed "Uuh... soy sauce, snacks, a load of beer, condoms-"

"Whoa! Wrong list! Ahaha, sorry about that!," Okubo immediately snatches the piece of paper from her hands, crumpling it into a ball and immediately giving it back to Rihito, who almost drops it in his embarrassed haste "Rihito always brings his own list for group shopping, but always ends up forgetting about it. Would you believe that, Miss Uta? He would forget his head if it weren't glued to his neck, wouldn't he?", He brings his friend close with an arm around his shoulders, flashing him the most furious smile either of them had ever seen someone flash. Himuro and Kaneda could even see beads of sweat forming on Rihito's forehead as he smiled nervously.

“Haha, yeah, I sure would! My bad…”

"Oh… it's alright, don't worry," Tomori ends up relaxing "I'm shopping with men, I should've expected that, haha. But it's not like I really need a list. I have all the ingredients memorized. So?," She smiles excitedly at them "Are we going to brave this concrete jungle while we complain about inflation?"

And with an invitation like that, they saw no reason to refuse to accompany her.

The five of them follow through the aisles of the supermarket, now with two carts in hand. And this time, Rihito couldn't complain too much about the fact that it was a woman who was leading the group, guiding them through that labyrinth of jars and packages with the assurance of someone who did this often. But they soon concluded that Tomori was the right person for the job, because she was teaching them like, a real teacher, how to choose the best ingredients for rice balls.

"Alright, let's start with the rice. See the differences between these two brands here?," She shows them the two packages, whereupon the four men huddle together to watch, curious. She offers them, and Himuro takes one, while Kaneda takes another.

"Hnnn… the weight is almost the same. It must be standardized...," Himuro commented, to which Kaneda, raising his head after observing the package closely, said:

"Oh, I think I understand. The grains on this one are longer than those on the package Himuro is holding, right?"

"Yes! It may seem like a silly detail, but noticing it makes all the difference, because short-grain rice has more starch," She nods smiling "Thanks to that, it sticks together after cooking. Which means…” She urges them on, making an encouraging gesture with one hand. She laughs when Kaneda raises his hand, as if they were in a classroom.

“Yes, Kaneda?”

"It means that short-grain rice is the best for making rice balls, because the grains will stick together, which is ideal for keeping the rice balls in the right shape."

"Very good!," She claps her hands, to which Kaneda responds with a playful little bow. Lihito snorts:

"Not fair! This smartass here already knows how to make rice balls! He's the best cook of all of us!"

"That's right! Let us get some praise for a change, Kaneda!," Okubo nudges the smaller one's shoulder, who pushes his hand away, saying:

"The fact that I can cook doesn't mean I don't like to hear a few compliments from time to time too."

"It's no fun when you already have mastered the art. Let the teacher pay attention to those who really need to learn."

Tomori looks thrilled to be called a ‘teacher’, to which Himuro comments with a sharp smile:

"Do you want to monopolize the teacher's attention now, Okubo? We really went back to middle school and I didn't even notice..."

"Leave me alone, Himuro! Anyway...," He clears his throat, a little flushed "For the rice to keep its shape after being cooked, we're going to need those little molds, right? The ones for rice balls."

"Well, I recommend it, especially for those of you who have never made rice balls before. But for those who have experience, it's easy to do it with their hands. I can show you if you want!"

"Nah, Kaneda can teach us, no problem-"

Lihito is immediately silenced by Himuro and Kaneda, who again place their hands over his mouth, making low hisses. And the three of them see the exact moment when Okubo seems to finally get some courage, sticking out his chest a little, straightening his shoulders and saying in a loud and clear voice while holding out his hands:

"Please show me!"

"Okay, you'll be the first to learn then!," She exclaims, happy as a clam, as she reaches out and holds his hands. Her hands were very tiny compared to his, delicate and soft, her fingers barely able to close around his wrists. He imagined intertwining his fingers with hers, imagined those hands caressing the line of his jaw. And he imagined them clinging to his shoulders, nails digging between his shoulder blades, scratching hard as they-

“Alright, that's enough! Pay attention to what she's saying, you good-for-nothing pervert!"

"The secret is to place your hands like this, as if it were in an L shape, and then press down on the rice very lightly, turning it clockwise with your right hand... that's right!," She approves when he correctly imitates the movement she described "You're good with your hands, Mr. Okubo."

"Thanks! And I have to be, haha. Just like you, I knead a lot. But not exactly bread dough," he teases, and is elated when she laughs heartily.

"I know! I've been following your career as a kneader for over a decade!"

"And so you managed to realize that I still have things to learn! You're doing better than any manager I've ever had, you know? Hehe!"

They laugh together, seeming half-forgotten that they weren't alone.

"Holy shit, I feel like I'm in one of those really bad chick-flicks…", Himuro comments with an air of laughter as they watch those unusual interactions "Only that it's missing the mellow soundtrack in the background."

“And them being on the banks of Shingashi River, with cherry blossom petals floating around them,” Kaneda jokes, and Rihito snickers.

"For my pal's sake, I hope it's a bad chick-flick with a sex scene at the end."

Okubo and Tomori weren't even aware of the spectacle they were providing. He particularly felt perfectly happy staying that way, just learning from her how to be a minimally decent cook, without dwelling too much on things like perverted incidents and his past traumas involving the opposite sex. It was all too easy to forget those details when he was with her.

"You got the hang of it quite fast! Do you still want to buy a mold or do you prefer to try your luck?," she asks suddenly, to which he looks over his shoulder.

"I wouldn't mind trying, but Rihito and Himuro might mess it up a little. They don't have such dexterity with their fingers, haha."

"Dexterity? I'm on a level way above that and you know it! Did Okubo tell you what I can do, Miss Uta?", Rihito asks, going up to the two of them and showing them a coin. Tomori blinks, a little confused.

"Uh... it's some kind of magic trick?"

"Much better than that! Mainly because it's real," He winks before pressing down on the coin with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, making a quick incisive motion. And Tomori gasps, clapping her hands over her mouth, as the coin snaps in half right before his eyes.

"Wow! H-How did you...!"

"Pretty cool, right? That's exactly why I created another identity. I'm the real-life Superman,” He sticks out his chin, smiling smugly, at which Okubo shakes his head in amused exasperation.

"Never missing a chance to show off, huh."

"Oh no, I can't believe it! I want to see it again with another coin!," She sticks her hand inside her purse, searching, at the same time that she turns to Kaneda and Himuro, half amazed "Do you all know how to do something absurd like that too?"

"Not the way Lihito does, but they say my drinks are absurd too," Himuro jokes, and Kaneda completes: 

"The truth is that we are all martial artists, just like Okubo! So yes, Miss Uta, we can do some pretty amazing things, each in our own unique ways."

"Ah, that's so cool! But what promotion are you from?," She asks curiously "A martial arts  promotion, I mean. I know many fighters, but it always happens that I miss some names..."

Okubo tenses, eyeing the other three with concern, to which Rihito, Himuro, and Kaneda exchange quick, almost imperceptibly nervous glances before Himuro finally responds, “We're not exactly professional fighters, you know. Not like Okubo, at least."

"Yes. We're kind of in a 'backstage' league, so to speak.” Kaneda nods.

"Yes! That's how I met them, wanting to fight in a slightly more private setting," Okubo nods quickly "They prefer to leave the professional  spotlights to me, 'cause they know I'm by far the most photogenic, haha."

"Yup. Photogenic like my big toe, which has chilblains."

"Too many details, Rihito! Tone it waaay down."

Tomori laughs, shaking her head.

"That's okay, fighting without the intention of being known for it is valid too. The important thing is to keep the fighting spirit alive!," She raises a fist in the air "And I already know how incredible Mr. Okubo is, so I say that I would love to see you three in action one of these days, in that 'backstage' league."

They had to work hard to keep their smiles from turning too nervous. But the girl's innate cuteness was a tremendous help. And honestly, it had been worth risking revealing more about the entire world of underground fights they were part of just to see Okubo almost float off the ground like the world's heaviest air balloon, inflated with joy by Tomori's praise. They couldn't wait to be alone, only the four of them again. That bald fuck had one coming, that was for sure.

They continued on their search for ingredients, with Tomori giving detailed explanations of the best brands of vinegar, salt and seaweed, showing how to compare prices and also how to make the products yield more. Overall, their little shopping spree turned out to be a more fun event than either of them could've anticipated. It wasn't exactly the kind of date Okubo imagined having with her (they were always alone in their fantasies, without a third, a forth and a fift whells following them around), but he found himself unable to complain. Seeing her getting along with his three best friends gave him that same funny, tachycardia-like feeling after all.

The afternoon went on like this, until all of them were finally satisfied with their little trip to the market.

“… and then Rihito and Okubo thought it would be an excellent idea to bet who could eat shrimp with wasabi without needing milk afterwards. It was the first time that Kaneda and I stayed overnight in an emergency room because these two needed a stomach pump, not a drip, haha.”

"Yeah, salt my game some more until it's completely inedible, you jerk!," Okubo yells at Himuro amid loud laughter, while the five finished passing their purchases at the ATMs, putting them in bags afterwards. Tomori shakes her head, a little red with laughter.

"N-No... seriously, it's okay, Mr. Okubo! I have so much fun hearing about these adventures of yours. I swear I'll tell you more about mine too, one of these days."

"Eh, and what could a cute and well-behaved girl have lived through that would be more interesting than frequent trips to the emergency room, caused by an excess of testosterone?," Rihito asks with a cheeky smile. Okubo was about to open his mouth to warn him, but Tomori is faster than him. She smiles back in kind, her eyelids drooping over her brown eyes, her long lashes casting shadows on her cheekbones.

"You wouldn't believe it, trust me."

"Oooh, really? If you say so...," He laughs, not seeming to take her remark seriously. But something in her expression aroused a strong curiosity in Okubo. He wasn't exactly the world champion at reading facial expressions and interpreting insinuations, but something told him Tomori wasn't just rambling. What could such an adorable girl be up to that would surprise even a freak like Rihito?

"Hey, don't leave us wondering, Miss Uta..."

"Ahaha, my bad. I would love to be able to remedy this, but it's getting late. I need to go home and make dinner," She smiles a little sadly when the five of them finally leave the market, going out to the parking lot, the sky starting to darken "It's a shame. I was really enjoying myself."

"Oh... yes, it's a shame," Okubo nods, trying to appear nonchalant and almost failing. Jeez, their shopping spree seemed to have flown by since she'd joined them! Why did they always find themselves in situations where they couldn't be in each other's company for more than a measly hour? That was so unfair... "But anyway, Miss Uta, it was a really nice surprise to find you here."

"Likewise! I really enjoyed spending this last hour with you guys. So much so that... can I... can I ask for something?," She's suddenly shy, looking to the side and pouting. Damn, how could he say no to her when she made that face?!

"Sure, go ahead!"

“I… I'd like to take a photo. You know? With... with you. And all of you too!," She hastens to add, a little flushed "As a souvenir, you know? I won't post it on social media if you don't want exposure or anything. I just wish to have something to keep with me... besides an autograph."

She swallows hard, biting her bottom lip, waiting with some anticipation.

He would probably never know how he was able to keep an expression of neutral satisfaction, instead of rushing towards her and kissing her passionately, as he wanted to do.

“Danm, she’s so cute!”

"Of course!"

“Oh- really?” She widens her eyes, hopeful, and he nods, smiling.

"Yeah, why not? Who are we to deny our teacher a souvenir of this day?," He turns to his friends "It'll be our way of saying thanks. Right, guys?"

"Yes! Then you can send the photo to Okubo, because we'll want to have it too," Kaneda nods, and Himuro agrees with an expression of someone who was holding laughter back.

"Yup! This isn't a day to be forgotten, haha..."

"Enough talking then! ‘Let’s strike a pose, guys," Rihito puts his arms around Okubo and Himuro's shoulders, opening a crooked smile "You have our permission to post this photo wherever you want, Miss Uta. Make your friends jealous of you being surrounded by all these hunks. And tell them we're all single and available!"

"You really want her loosing a ton of followers in all her social media, don't you, Rihito?"

"Screw you, Himuro!"

Tomori laughs again as she takes her phone out of his purse, turning on the camera and placing it horizontally.

"Can you take the picture, Mr. Okubo? You're the tallest, so...," She hands the phone to Okubo, approaching from the side in short steps, smiling shyly. He understands at once, and suppressing the urge to laugh, reaches out a hand to touch her shoulder, bringing her closer to him. She gasps softly, her breath catching momentarily in her chest, and he would have found that absolutely adorable if he hadn't also been desperately trying to maintain his composure and not blush like a teenager who's sat too close to his crush.

Taking selfies with fans was something he was more or less used to. But this was different. It felt more intimate, even...

"C'mooon, dude, we want to take this pic today!"

And as expected, Lihito insisted on reminding him of his presence by shouting in his ear, almost making him drop Tomori's phone. He pushes him away with a grunt, eliciting general laughter.

"Give it a rest, dumbass! Okay, everyone...," He puts a hand on Tomori's shoulder, again hearing her make a cute little sound of happiness "Say 'rice balls'!"

"Rice balls!," The five of them exclaim together, raising two fingers in a V, the sound of the phone indicating that the photo was taken. They relax their poses and contemplate the results.

"Oh, it came out great- hey, Rihito, you made horns on the back of my head!," Kaneda complains, and Rihito defends himself by replying:

"It's not horns, it's a V for Victory! It's not my fault you're so short that the gesture gives that impression.”

"I made a weird face. Look, I'm almost blinking…," Himuro frowns, to which Tomori, still laughing at the discussion between Rihito and Kaneda, guarantees:

"Don't say that, Himuro, you looked great! If I post this photo on my networks, some of my friends will definitely ask if they can slide into your DMs, haha."

"Oh, then in that case, post it wherever you want!"

"Another one who doesn't beat around the bush...," Okubo snorts, the twinge of jealousy in his chest making him feel angry with himself. It was so unfair that not even Tomori was immune to that conceited bastard's charm…

"But yeah, the photo turned out great! Thank you so much, Kaneda, Himuro, Nakata-"

"Rihito! Seriously, it's not that hard of a name to remember!"

"Okay, okay, sorry, haha. But seriously, thank you. And you, Mr. Okubo!"

He almost knocks some of the bags to the floor when she hugs his arm, her face lit up with a happiness so intense it almost made his eyes hurt.

"Not only do I have your autograph, I now also have a photo of you! This has been one of the happiest months of my entire life, and it's not even halfway through! I don't even know how to thank you..."

"Thank me by going on a date with me and letting me please you in every way I can think of, in and out of a bed!,” he almost pleads, which would have been the most desperate and pathetic invitation to a date in human history, and something which Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda would not let him forget for all the days he had left. He tries to compose himself, straightening his shoulders and saying with a half smile: 

"You can thank me by sending this photo to me, 'cause it's something I'd like to have as a souvenir too. And of course, I will reciprocate. Later today, when the rice balls are ready."

She clasps her hands to her chest, delighted.

"Of course! And I'll look forward to the pictures of the rice balls! It's a pity I won't be able to try them..."

"Oh, but we can arrange that. What do you guys think?," Okubo arches an eyebrow at the other three. They look surprised for a split second, but recover relatively quickly.

"We're going to have a busy week, but we can try to show up at the bakery on the next garbage day. In the meantime, let's take the opportunity to make rice balls whenever we can as a pre-workout snack," Himuro looks sideways at Kaneda, who adds:

"What would you think of us taking advantage of this day to bring some of the rice balls we’ll make? You know, as a thank you for the free home economics class and the cookies, haha."

"Then you can eat them during your lunch break! And if we got it wrong, at least the bathroom at your workplace will be a short run away," Lihito jokes, prompting grunts from his friends and more laughter from Tomori.

"I'll trust that things don't get to that point, if Kaneda is a good cook like you guys said. And yes, I will love it!," She claps her hands in excitement "Kanny, Hiro, Tomoyo and Paikon will love to try it too. Anyway...," She bows politely "Thank you so much for your company! I really hope I didn't bother you."

“You wouldn't bother us even if you wanted to, Miss Uta. We're the ones who should thank you for your help," He smiles, and then scratches the back of his head "Uh… Do you need help with your bags? We can take them to your car."

"Thanks, but no need. I came by train."

"You sure? It's a long walk, even more so carrying weight.

“Oh no, not so much. And I'm tougher than I look, believe me," She flexes her biceps with a playful smile, and while the other three try to stifle a colective laugh, Okubo tries to stifle a burst of cuteness "I have to exercise, anyway. Weight gain is pretty common in my work field, haha."

"With a body like that, you can tell the extra weight goes to all the right places!”, he allows himself to think, like the closeted pervert he was. 

“Okay, if you say so. See you next garbage day?"

"I'll look forward to it! Good night, Kaneda, Himuro, Nakata- I mean, Rihito."

"Attagirl!," Lihito raises a fist in celebration "Good night to you too, Miss Uta."

"Have a safe trip!"

"And let Okubo know if you arrived safely, so he doesn't get too worried."

"Himuro...," Okubo grunts, embarrassed, to which Tomori lets out a happy laugh.

"I will, I promise. Good night, Mr. Okubo," She again makes that gesture of tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, smiling sweetly, and he allows himself a few seconds of self-indulgent daydreaming, imagining himself doing that for her.

"Good night, Miss Uta."

She waves to the four of them before picking up her bags and turning her back on them, walking out of the parking lot. They follow her with their eyes until her silhouette disappears on the sidewalk in the distance, in the middle of the late afternoon shadows that were getting bigger. It is then that Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda allow themselves to let out huge collective sighs.

"Maaaan, that’s what I call a hard time…," Rihito grunts, scratching his scalp "All that hullabaloo and in the end, the girl still ran into us anyway…"

"But everything worked out in the end, despite all the embarrassment... and I still haven't forgotten, Okubo!," Kaneda points to him, huffing "That nonsense with the shopping cart will not go unpunished!”

Okubo didn't even seem to have heard him. He was still staring fixedly at the spot where Tomori had disappeared, his eyes distant. They stared at him, somewhat exasperated, until Himuro walked up to him and snapped his fingers right in front of his face, making him jump.

"Argh! Don't scare me like that, damn it!"

"It's time to de-orbit, Buzz Lightyear. Despite your efforts to make the opposite happen, the afternoon turned out better than expected," He crosses his arms “But enough of that. If you act like a virgin brat again, we’re gonna beat the shit out of you. And not even you can deal with the three of us at the same time. You've been warned."

"Ugh, okay, okay! Sorry for my freak out earlier," Okubo grunts, rubbing his eyes "I just didn't want her to get the wrong impression of me…"

"But that's not what happened. She looked like she couldn't wait to get busy with you in the near future. You're fucking welcome," Rihito does a mocking bow "I even forced myself to play the part of the nice, 'friend to all women' guy so as not to rain on your parade..."

"Come on, Rihito, don't pretend that you didn't like that we had a girl in our group, even if only for an hour."

"One hour is my limit! I came into this world to love women, not to be their friend. And don't go thinking that, after you do her, I'm going to accept her presence in our night outs or something!," He warns, pointing to Okubo "Unless, of course, she brings some girlfriends along. In that case, we can negotiate."

"You're gonna die single, man, I swear…," Himuro sighs, while Okubo, shaking his head, picks up some of the bags on the parking lot floor. He smiles tiredly at his friends.

"I'll try to remember that. Now let's go back to the apartment, for the love of god. I... I think I can feel my blood pressure drop... the adrenaline peak is going down...," He groans, getting a little pale, to which Lihito went to help him with a laugh, passing his right arm over his shoulders.

"Fuckin' drama queen... c’mon, guys, we have a bloodstream in need of some salt."

They walk across the parking lot towards Okubo's car, finally getting hit with late afternoon fatigue. And to think they still had a batch of rice balls to cook...

"Hey, Himuro."

Himuro turns around, a little surprised, when Kaneda calls out to him in a low tone, his face slightly pink.

"What is it?"

"I need to confess to someone… but I don't think I would complain about taking another ride in a shopping cart like that. You know? Nyooonh…"

And neither Okubo nor Rihito understood why Himuro had a fit of laughter that lasted all the way back to the apartment. And neither way he kept repeating that bizarre noise.

What the fuck did 'nyooonh' even mean anyway?

NEXT CHAPTER

#Kengan Ashura #Kengan Omega #kenganverse #fanfiction #Okubo Naoya #Naoya Okubo #okubo x oc #kengan oc #Rihito #Himuro Ryo #Kaneda Suekichi #cookies'n cream #the heavy bakery series

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

Eli and his scene partner met up at the house today to rehearse for their performance tomorrow and I swear that no matter where he goes or what he does he ALWAYS collects the fellow queers.

This time, it's a loud, chaotic lesbian with Robin Williams vibes in a Hawaiian shirt named Liz...who greeted me with a bear hug and said "holy shit, it's the wife!"

I didn't know she was coming, so I'm in some terrible and very short pajama shorts and feeling really awkward so the first thing I say to her is "yes, hello...uhhh, are you hungry?"

😬😬😬

Eli picks me up and whispers into my ear that he's sorry, that he forgot she was coming, and it's just Liz so it's fine to not go overboard with whatever I'm about to make.

Liz asks him if he picked a short wife on purpose so he could pick her up and he doesn't deny it, but offers that most people are short to him...to which she rolls her eyes and tells me he's "a trip".

So...naturally I cook a full lunch. I can hear them from the kitchen...and they're both doing a lot better than I thought they'd do. It sounds so familiar...but I just can't place it yet from here.

I've taken acting classes before and everyone sucked the whole time but we had fun so it was kind of whatever. But they're doing such a good job, I wonder if their instructor knows some secret that I need in on.

Over lunch, Liz tells me she wasn't really expecting a female wife when she got here because Eli tends to use the word partner and with her gaydar activated she expected a twink instead. He very casually mentions that she may get to meet Moses today and he and I go back and forth over whether Moses achieves twinkdom or not, and Liz enters the discussion with a musing of whether "twink" is a pejorative term or merely descriptive. I've missed LGBTQ+ round tables, much harder to have here than where I'm from where I'm pretty sure fully half the population is queer to some degree.

I also learn that Liz will call him Diet Misha to pick on him, and that he has started ignoring her requests for him to say "hello Dean".

"He didn't used to but now that we're friends he feels more free to just roll his eyes. I like that."

"I think he prefers Misha Zero."

He squints at me. "Do I?"

When I'm allowed to come watch, it hits me that they're doing the scene from Angels in America where Prior reveals his KS and calls it the "wine dark kiss of the angel of death". I wait for that line with bated breath and remember the first time I saw it and that line hit me like a ton of bricks. I was much much younger then and the subject matter was all new to me. To say they both nailed it would be an understatement. Such a heavy scene for a fair to middlin' acting class and I'm a little annoyed that my husband is good at everything.

Their choosing of roles was interesting to me. I'd expect Eli to take on Louis...but Liz tells me she insisted he not, that it would be too easy and he wouldn't learn anything from it.

"He's already butch and stoic, what's the fun in that?" When he laughs, she walks it back a little. "Not really stoic, but he is very quiet until you get to know him. He's no Andrew Scott but I'll take him."

His rapport with her is easy...it's always easy for him to lead people into conversation but it's always an infodump by them to which he typically adds nothing unless it's emergent. He would have been a great counselor...but with Liz, it's the give and take that it should be.

He asks her if she thinks their instructor will let them just do all their scenes together going forward.

"We paid for the class, we should insist on it."

I really like her.

#hot librarian chronicles #husband material #misha collins #diet misha #not actually misha collins but close #acting #angels in america #queer stuff

[nathank77]

4/6/24

6:04 p.m Added to/ Edited 6:24 p.m

So I took a half MG last night and passed out really quickly at like 7 a.m or so. I woke up at like 12 and took benadryl cause I had to pee. I ended up sleeping until 4 p.m...

I had dreams like I used to, where I woke up and went to the fridge and grabbed a drink. Then I grabbed a Think Protien Bar the Brownie one and I sat in bed. It was like 4:30 p.m. I really thought I was awake. This time I knew I slept though... maybe I'm healing a little from my microsleep trauma... idk...

I woke up at 4 p.m thinking wait wasn't it 4:30? Where is the brownie Protein bar? And I realized It was a dream.

Nonetheless I still keep a sleep tracker that has turned into a sleep tracker/every calorie I consume diet tracker/pill tracker/ and eventful things about that day tracker such as muscles spasms or heart palpitations.... it's really thorough... I know it helps me cope with the trauma of microsleeping and makes sure I don't forget important things.

Anyways I took a shower and now I'm going to set up my sleeping pill... then all I got to do is brush my teeth after my second meal...

Idk what to do with the rest of my day... maybe I'll game. Maybe I will stare mindlessly at my TV and not hallucinate.

I was thinking about streaming on Twitch some Minecraft or something but I know I won't have viewers... I wish someone would start a chat with me there......

I actually scheduled that account for deletion months ago bc I thought it was hacked, and my auditory hallucination convinced me to reactivate it... I wouldn't have but I'm glad it did. It said something like, you worked hard for those followers, you should keep it instead of making a new account. That's the one thing I'm thankful for from my voice auditory hallucination, it would have been gone if it didn't tell me to reactivate it within that time frame.

I've made a decision about my glasses wearing.. I'm going to wear them alone cause my sight is challenged and my eyes feel weak.... if I go out on a date, I'm going to take them off... if I do meet ups, I'm not going to wear them. I may not even wear them during my videos anymore....

I won't take selfies with them anymore... I'm going to redo my entire dating profiles without glasses once I can take good photos without them... tbh I like how I look with glasses.... so I take these photos and I'm like you'd look better with your glasses. That one is okay but where are your glasses... I got to get one thats good enough that the glasses don't need to be there and then get like 3 or 4 more.

I'll get contacts or adjust to what my vision is... I can't see myself touching my eyes to put contacts in..the weird part is I tried to take my glasses off on my bimoji but I looked naked.... my face looked so empty... much like my face in real life without them. When I first started wearing them, I mean I felt nerdy but I didn't care cause I could live life with and without them... then I got adjusted to seeing myself in them and now I look weird without them..

You can see the, "bags," or "black lines," under my eyes... I mean yet if I look at anyone else without them these things aren't noticeable..... I think once you start wearing glasses full-time, you just look weird without them...bc they draw your attention and change how your face looks.

I'm sure I'll adjust eventually... people can't see me in them. But why struggle to see or have weak eye sight when I'm alone in my room or in a dark car.

I'd also like to say if Elise were to show up on my stream as long as she doesn't open the chat box her name will never show up on my end.... ever. But if she were to click the chat box and never type a word, I would know she was there.

[spacecruiser-z]

Just another rant I don't know where to go for, ignore at your leisure. Uh I suppose I should say trigger warning cause I mention not eating, not being able to eat and suicide at the end.

So for the passed roughly 5 years I've had this odd turmoil with my parents, they divorced when I was like 7 and the court screwed my dad so hard that I flat out couldn't see him, on top of my mom manipulating me to not want to see him in the first place.

So that was my life for about 11 more years, being manipulated by my mother, and instead of just whacking me or something when I misbehaved she chose to use psychological warfare. Telling me that I treat her like garbage and that I'm causing her literal pain cause I'm approaching those glorious rebellious teenaged years and therefore haven't said "I Love You" in a couple years. Or asking if we can get some fast food only to be told "I'm not fucking getting that shit" then eating from a shitty pizza place the next night. Treating a literal child like that for years is eventually to teach them not to ask for things they want, much less things they need. There's a whole thing about clothes too, but I'll boil it down to her refusing to spend like $100 on a few pairs of good quality pants since mine were several years old and bleached/ripping at the crotch. All so she could have enough money to keep her acrylic nails looking fresh every week.

I got back in touch with my dad, and I was living with him before COVID cause my mom was begining to develop the mindset that kicking me out was a good threat to get me to whatever she wanted (however I ignored most of her threats cause at the end of the day I was calling her bluff). Anyway, dad had this girlfriend at the time, she wasn't living with us but the moment I met her the first time I knew she was nothing more than white trash with expensive tastes. She was using my dad for money but he's a delusional "I can fix em" and doesn't see the red flags until they've claimed his territory. It gets to the point she's living with us, the idea of me getting a job is kaput cause of COVID, and my dad is slowly going unstable cause of this woman, he throws a fit, so I go to my mom, I had no other options. I was out in a day, and I told him he could contact me again when that wench was out of his life and he realized she was nothing more than a trashy gold digger.

He does contact me, and I'd just been biding my time living with the same situation at my mom's, cause at least I'm used to her abuse and I know her style of manipulation to a T. I move back in with dad, and so far it's been alright, I still can't get a job, a highschool dropout with no experience isn't going to get hired around here when someone who speaks Spanish will get it just for that reason alone. I've tried working at what few places have hired me, but my anxiety and depression caused me to have literal breakdowns and I was told I could either quit or get fired. Money isn't a big issue, I won't go into why, but recently my dad's health issues have taken his mental health into a horrible swirl of thinking he knows more than absolutely everyone about what he needs to do to get better.

He's gone into this realm of thinking that eating nothing for several days then eating the stuff he usually likes, which involves red meat and grease and pasta, and repeat is going to repair the damage. Now you would think, that just maybe, he would listen to his daughter, who was bullseye on point about that terrible girlfriend, would have a decent piece of advice about what he should do on the road to recovery. I suggest to him that he shouldn't have this fasting-cheat day-fasting cycle, but a consistent diet of just overall healthier foods, and meals that are more than just microwave cheese and broccoli with chicken. But ofc he's a Gen X asshole who thinks that his acid trip to Gods Man Cave back in the 80s makes him the sole authority on what he thinks is a good idea for his body.

Now the reason I wrote all that, a week ago my dad is on his fasting shit, and part of his newest mindset is "if there's no food I won't want to eat, so I can fast longer" but newsflash asshole there's another person in this fucking house who wants nothing to do with eating barely anything once a day. I went through that, eating nothing more than school lunch and a torturous dinner with my mom every night I don't have to do that anymore and I don't want to. Obviously this whole idea he's had pisses me off, and even when I asked for a bit of money to get myself some food, cause there's nothing but pasta and chicken and I'm so fucking sick of pasta with butter and chicken that isn't seasoned with more than garlic, onion, salt and pepper. I don't even think he sees when I text him, cause despite all the time he spends talking to cat phishers and hot IG bitches he cant consistently answer a text from his daughter or go to her room to answer in person. So naturally, I'm pissed off, I'm so pissed off it snowballs for two weeks and I'm just hungry the entire time. He decided to make himself pasta with butter, and makes me some, but he yells at me with this big smile like "see, here, no more hungry I made you food" which I refused to eat cause it was gonna taste like shit, so I cave and make some stupid Shells and White Cheddar pasta Roni and hate the entire process. He walks by to go to the bathroom, and yells out, "did you even try it??" And I ignore it, I'm hangry and I want real food but expressing that, or talking to him in general, is like talking to a brick wall covered in acoustic paneling. He got real mad about that one, and started stomping to the bathroom and slamming doors, which triggers my fight or flight and terrifies me. For days I was just waiting for him to barge into my room and guilt trip me about how I'm the one complaining that I AM HUNGRY while he has health issues, his identity being stolen (which is all his own fault cause he's stupid) and that I don't have a job. So I've been reduced even further, finding a new square one where I'm terrified to leave my room, and since my room is outside the bathroom, I hear constant slamming. He's sort of calmed down, but he didn't even say hi to my boyfriend when he came over, and he really likes my boyfriend so that was striking even to him.

Now that brings us to tonight, I'm boiling and reboiling water in a desperate attempt to raise the humidity in my room, and my dad comes home with Dunkin and some food from somewhere and a drink, he just chucks the food and drinks in the fridge. I was walking out, about to be sick and sad while having pasta with butter cause all I've had was a cold, soggy, taco from when bf was over. I decide to break the ice with "what possessed you to go to Dunkin?" Since he hates Dunkin with a passion thanks to my mother, which is fair. He replies with "nothing" goes to his room, comes back out to use the bathroom, I wait having discovered the other food and the drink. My mindset is that if the food is for me, I'm going to make matters worse by making the pasta and butter, but if the food isn't for me and I eat it with that assumption, I'm also making matters worse. After he's out of the bathroom, he rushed to his room by the way, I ask if the food is for me or for him, and his reply is "nope, not for me, not for me at all." Which idk if you've been in a household with a manipulative cunt for the last 17 years but THATS NOT WHAT YOU FUCKING TELL SOMEONE WHEN THEY ASK YOU A SIMPLE AND GENUINE QUESTION AND AFTER THEYVE EXPRESSED TO YOU THAT THEY ARE TERRIFIED OF YOU UNLESS YOUR GOAL IS TO MAKE THEM FEEL WORSE

And you what he would say if I told him any of that? Trust me I know his type by now and we've had similar conversations. He would go on a ramble about how I'm just too sensitive and then go one about how my generation is at fault, when fun fact I've actually not had that much interaction with the whole millennial/Gen Z whatever it's called. I was stuck in my terrible house with my terrible mother in my tiny little room blasting Black Veil Brides and Motionless in White until I eventually went numb. I failed school because I wanted to die, hell even recently he said to my face "wow you would have killed yourself" but I unfortunately just didnt have the means, and I hated my mother so much that I didn't want her running to Hallmark for a movie about her in memoriam to me, her daughter who committed suicide, I didn't want that, I didn't want to be remembered, I just wanted to die. But by a truck or something, any insignificant cause of death was fine, so long as it wasn't actually suicide, so long as my mother couldn't milk my insignificant suffering for money to live out her dreams without the inconvenience of having a child to take care of. I learned pretty quickly that that's all I was to her, an inconvenience, but at the end of the day I was also the reason she got money from the government and child support from my father.

So the rant turned into a life story pity party, I didn't mean that. I'm processing, I just needed something to stop me from crying. I'm sick af right now and can't afford the dehydration. I'll continue to be afraid to eat that food or make the gross pasta and butter until I'm aggressively told it was for me after all of he eats it cause I was too afraid and he thinks to himself "well if she's not gonna fuckin eat it then I will"

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Everyone is happy!

Yeah... they look to be managing themselves; I can't even say anything if they are aware of it...

*stops as she finds herself at Kei's room* I suppose Kei must be here...

*opens the door and finds Akane with Kei in there*

So seems Nagi just inform me that I should be able to walk around and rest in my own cottage.

Good, honestly I was getting tired of lying in bed for this pass week that I miss to see how Mahiru was doing.

Yeah... I think she's been pretty busy so she hasn't gotten the time.

At least now I'm starting to eat food against instead of that crappy soup, seriously am so relieved!

Well good to hear, at least for one of us we are getting use to food again.

But I can't say the diet I've gotten is disappointing...

Yeah well she wants to make sure your healthy, man.

Oh hey, seems you both are well...

Hm? Oh hey Mahiru, seems your walking about eh? Well good news is that Kei is now getting to leave the hospital bed.

Oh yeah but I'm surprise that you look like that Byaku-.

O-Oh wait... I mean Kei, right? That... is the name your going for, right?

It is but it's good to see you up again Mahiru, sorry that I wasn't there to greet you; had to recover from surgery.

It's fine, just happy to see you alive and well...

#dr #danganronpa #dtfa #despair to future arc #ds:rw #despair side: re write #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #mahiru koizumi #akane owari #kei takahashi #anonymous #ds ep 7