#I can make a post later about how I prepare solo cups for being used as pots if yall want

[anipgarden]

Cheaply Starting Seeds

This is my fourth post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

Having a high-quality seed-starting setup can feel like an ultimate but distant dream. An entire shelf--an entire room, even, filled with grow lights and plant trays in the optimal setup to make tons of plants? Tons of garden tools, each with a diverse and dedicated purpose? That’s just not an option for some of us. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get started at a low cost!

Seed Starting Set-Ups

Speaking from a somewhat biased Floridian perspective, I’ve had great success starting seeds outside! My usual set-up is on a rarely-used outdoor patio table that’s moved to a sunny spot in the yard, but I’ve even grown seeds in solo cups on sidewalks, or directly in the ground, with great results! 

Some seeds grow best when they go through a cold period before germinating, while other seeds aren’t affected much by it and just wait for warm weather. As such, a viable option is to sow your seeds in late fall, let winter roll by, and wait until the seeds sprout on their own come spring! I would try and mark off where you planted said seeds, so you don’t lose track of them and accidentally dig them up.

Alternatively, if you want to get started while it's cold outside, a popular option I've seen is to grow in milk jugs! There's a lot of different ways to do it--everyone has their preference--but if you're already drinking things like milk or juice or sweet tea, and you're going to get jugs at some point in time--why not use them for gardening?

An easy way to clear up a section of lawn to create open gardening space is by using a sheet mulching or lasagna gardening method (though I like to call it the Cardboard Snuff-Out). Place cardboard or newspaper down in fall/winter to mark out where you want to garden. Layer compostable materials like grass clippings and wood chips on top of it, or potting soil/bagged compost. It’ll decompose over Winter into an organically rich bed that’ll have killed the grass and weeds underneath it. You don’t have to break out any tools and sweat over it come spring, and the cardboard itself will slowly decompose as well!

Though it's often recommended to plant things directly into the ground to decrease watering needs and increase nutritional independence, there’s plenty of reasons you may not be able to. Whether you’re renting, living in a place without a yard, or even just can’t or don’t want to break ground in a yard, you can still help biodiversity by growing in pots. Some plants have rather extensive root systems and aren’t well suited for pots, but there are still plenty of options available for plants that’ll boost biodiversity, be beautiful to look at, and grow just fine in pots! A recommendation is to get a larger pot, if you’re able, as it’ll hold onto more water and need watering less often. Not only are potted plants great for providing food for insects, but they can be shelter for other creatures too--there’s been a good few times I’ve moved a pot and found a frog or toad living underneath it.

If you don’t have room for pots on the ground, you could consider using hanging pots or window boxes! These can be great and easily-maintained options to provide food and habitat for insects and birds in an urban living situation like apartments or townhouses, but they can also be a fun way to add even more habitat to an already-robust home garden. You can even make an entire mini habitat in a window box or pot! I can personally say I’ve seen tons of pollinators visit my yearly hanging basket garden that consists of about five to seven plants, and I’ve always loved the idea of having a window box for blooms right out my window. Just make sure that it’s safe--make sure they’re securely fixed, and that whatever they’re hanging from can handle their weight when they’re freshly watered and loaded with plants. 

If you want to start indoors, you don’t necessarily need grow lights or heat mats (though it will make things a bit easier.) I’ve successfully grown milkweed, peppers, tomatoes, zucchinis, and even sprouted lemon seeds in college dorm rooms, and kept tomato and pepper plants in a dorm room on a sunny windowsill. For the most part, you need a nice and sunny window, some kind of container, and a source of heat (in my case, I used anything from a space heater to the warmth of my laptop running nearby. If you don’t have any sunny windows, or enough windowsill space to start plants on, its possible to obtain cheaper grow lights. One year, my mom bought me some gooseneck grow lights that could clip onto things for cheap off of Amazon. (Fair warning, though, they did light up my entire room in purple. I lived alone that year (covid year, my roomies bailed), so it was fine, but it was kind of trippy,)

Another year, when I was in an apartment on my own, I bought a grow light modeled like a normal light bulb from the lightbulb aisle in Lowe’s and put it in my desk lamp. Growing seeds indoors can make them grow fast and leggy, so it’ll help if you can keep a desk fan on them so they focus on growing strong instead of tall and fast.

If you’re fortunate enough to have a friend with a nice set up, you could see if they’re willing to let you borrow some of their space to start your own plants as well! My set-up in college was by no means High Class, but I was still more than willing to start seeds for my friends who asked!

Containers for Seed Starting

So now that we’ve talked starting seeds indoors and out, we need to address what to start them in. It’s important that whatever you’re using has drainage holes, and be large enough to support your plant (starting something like milkweed or a squash in a tiny little pot won’t yield great results). Fortunately, there are options here!

If you’re looking to buy pots, Dollar Tree will sell some small plastic pots for cheap in the spring! They’re kind of thin, and won’t last forever, but they’re great for a few uses and don’t cost a lot of money. Something that’s a bit more pricey but are longer-lasting, in my experience, are the Burpee SuperSeed trays. They come in different sizes, but I’m fond of the 16-cell trays--they have silicone bottoms and are made of a nice solid plastic with a tray to hold water, so they hold up for a long time and are easy to clean and reuse!

Burpee seed tray, my beloved.

What’s better than a cheap pot? Free ones, and there’s plenty of options there! I’ve seen people use toilet paper or paper towel rolls as pots by folding the bottoms in and have it work well for them! I think this method would work best if you had some kind of tray to keep them moist, because mine dried out fast last time I tried this method. I’ve also seen people make pots out of newspaper with a few different methods, and the people who use this method love it--apparently, the roots pass through the paper easier and it decomposes faster when buried, so you can just transplant the whole pot and avoid any kind of transplanting shock. If you don’t have any newspaper on hand, you can likely ask your friends or neighbors! 

I’ve gotten lots of mileage from reusing old containers by poking a few holes in the bottom with knives or scissors--just be careful while you’re doing it! I, personally, am more likely to use an already-used solo cup for it--they’re a nice size, so they hold a good amount of soil and moisture and give the seedling a good amount of root space. I tend to write the plant information on the side of the cup in sharpie marker, or on an index card in pen. I’ve also heard of people making use of egg cartons, fruit containers, yogurt cups, milk cartons, soda bottles--the more you start thinking about what you could easily poke a hole in, the more options start coming around!

This photo may be from 2018, but I'll still regularly reuse cups like this! They're also great for cuttings!

As you start planning to move your seedlings into the ground and preparing planting sites, you’ll likely need a few tools to do it! How do you get these? You may be able to borrow some tools from a neighbor! As long as you make sure to return them in good condition, depending on how friendly your neighbors are, they might be totally fine with you borrowing their tools for awhile. If you don’t want to take that route, there may be a tool library you can borrow from, or a mutual aid group that can loan you tools for awhile. Either way, borrowing tools is cheaper than buying them--though, if you do have to buy tools, cheap hand-tools from Walmart or the dollar store work just fine. They’ll even last a good while if they’re taken care of when not in use! I've even seen places like Ross sell some tools and pots in spring!

Spotted in a Walmart gardening section by the registers, 2023.

Of course, your mileage may vary with these. I genuinely cannot think of the last time my house got a newspaper, and as I've mentioned I don't have to worry about snow. Similarly, maybe you don't use plastic cups when you can help it, or don't have a particular affinity for eggs and yogurt. Maybe there isn't a tool library in your area--I sure don't know if there is in mine--but it could still be worth poking around and asking a neighbor!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to support your plants for cheap--we're gonna be talking compost, mulch, and trellises. Until then, I hope this advice was helpful! Feel free to reply with any questions, your success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

#biodiversity #solarpunk #gardening #outdoor gardening #growing from seed #budget gardening #cheap gardening #indoor gardening #ani rambles #out of queue #the biodiversity saga #I can make a post later about how I prepare solo cups for being used as pots if yall want #I've found its safest to just use a nice pair of scissors and keep the cup upside-down on the table while I cut into the bottom #and when i say 'take care of the tools when not in use' i mean 'dont be me and leave a cheap shovel from dollar tree out in the rain' #it had a wooden handle and it basically just like. rotted. fell apart in my hand when I picked it up #generally keeping tools in the garage will also help them not rust as fast too #but if you're gonna leave them outside at least put them in shade #the number of times i have lost feeling in my hands because i picked up a hoe that was laying in the sun and fuckin SCALED my palms #its not fun. dont do it. maybe its a Floridian problem but still #if you read all these tags. uh. shovel emoji. idk. sorry dude.

[accio-victuuri]

5/27 candy round-up : fan-meet clues, denying drama rumors and everything else. 💋

happy saturday! it’s time for some treats care of mostly wyb @ chunzhen fan meet. it has really been some time since he did one of these. hopefully, he does more before he gets stuck in filming his new movie. we will be getting a new endorsement from him tomo so that’s one to look forward to!

sharing the compilations link of media from today’s event both from cpf & solo fansites!

moving on to the candies…. ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

• The most obvious and probably in your face with today’s event is WYB’s look. Aside from the 🦴 necklace chain peeking from time to time and how his hair brings us back to 2019 WYB. The clothes remind us of that striped top he wore in the l’oreal event where he drew the heart with a mole. It’s also maison kitsune, a brand that ZZ wore in a live event recently too. The glasses for his photoshoot also brings us back to WB night 2020. These things could all mean nothing but to us, it brings back memories. The glasses are particularly sus, cause while i do think it may have something to do with his HK glasses endorsement, i don’t see it on their site as a style he is endorsing currently. It surprised a lot ( if not all ) of the fans cause why is he suddenly 🤓??

2. The Camping CPN is at it again. I don’t usually follow other artists so idk if other mention this too specifically but it’s so interesting how these two decided to pick it up at the same time. Or is this some sort of trend in China too? Either way, during the fan meet he said that he does Camp during his breaks. Plus he mentioned that he did go camping somewhere close to the beach.

He also said something that confused people, when they were talking about “moving camping” and wyb explained it’s like moving your house to the camp because of how one brings a lot of things. the he says: “it means he likes to moves many things...a lot of things...then..” so who is he? why so specific as he? Do you camp with someone who brings a lot of things it’s as good as bringing his house along? I don’t wanna judge XZ lol. cause when we see him, he prefers small bags so you would think he’s okay with not carrying too much. but i also have the feeling that ZZ would bring a lot just to be “ready” when they go camping.

3. When choosing the number for the lucky fans, he picked zone A row 2 number 30 and then when he was asked to change it cause there is no #30, he picked row 3 number 20. 2 & 3. His favorite numbers. This is not new, even @ summer surf shop this was noticed. It’s nice to see that it didn’t change. 23 ( Ai Zhan / Love Zhan )

4. As for some food CPN, WYB said again that he can’t cook and that he can only prepare simple dishes. One day, we will know what these are. I’m thinking he’s being humble about it and if he says he “can cook” people may expect more complicated dishes.

When “spiced beef ( or sauced beef ) was mentioned, he smiled. here is the reference to that if you don’t get it.

In one segment of the show, he was mixing fruits with the yogurt drink and he was asked why he chose lychee. He said it’s because he likes it and likes to freeze it to eat. This reminded cpfs of an LRLG post that said WYB peeled lychees for XZ. It’s so specific of a fruit and then it gets “confirmed” like this!

Xiao laoshi thinks the lychees are too high in calories and doesn’t eat them, but Wang laoshi has already peeled them.

WYB: "Didn't you say you wanted to eat it a few days ago?" Brother X specially went to buy it for you."

🧔‍♂️: “The owner of the stall said that this batch is sweet, try it."

XZ: “Then I'll take it later”

WYB: “Eat later”

• WYB shared about what does when camping and he said what he does is drink coffee. “yes, space out, finish the coffee, and then make another cup, then drink again.”

someone please get him a coffee endorsement! hahahahaha! and the commercial for it will be a scene like this. i really feel for him cause with the statement today from yuehua, this is really a way for him to relax. to camp somewhere quiet and just chill. where no one is following & harassing him.

anyway, it’s cool to see him loving coffee now when in the past he wasn’t seen much drinking it. but at the time of cql filming, xz was the one who loved coffee. is this another way of them adapting each other’s likes?

• While talking about Qingdao ( where the fan meet is taking place ) he was asked if he went there before.. and he stopped and replied, they know better than me. and like he doesn’t even know sometimes what city he is flying to. CPN is that he didn’t want to say when he last went to QD. that’s because there were some talks before that he visited the ADLAD cast ( XZ ) in QD. 🤫

but this could also be him calling out the sisheng fans who “knows” his itinerary and private schedule. 💀💀💀💀💀

There is a new fake story about XZ collecting blind box figures and he complained to WLS that he cannot seem to complete the set he wants. So WLS helped him get it all. This is the set he allegedly wanted :

based on the drama empresses in the palace.

=====================================

The second part of this is Patrick ( XZ counterfeiting account ) refuting the rumors of a drama collab between XZ & Y@ngzi. Whether the account is purely a fan account with contact to XZS or WJJW. An XZS employee or a WJJW employee, the sus part here is how quickly this rumor was denied in XZ’s part. There are so many drama and movie melons coming out and putting XZ’s name on it and they don’t address it. If they do, it’s not as quick as this. 30 minutes from when that melon account rumor started getting traction.

This “speed” of denial is not new, some artists / fan accounts do this too ( like ZLY fan when she was rumored to star in mermaid came out lol ) but it’s uncharacteristic for XZ.

There is also a ! on it, this is the only one with that since the account started posting in 5/2020 where that was used. it’s added for emphasis looks like. you can check the account to see for yourself.

I’m not saying he hates his former co-star. I’d like to think they have a professional relationship as what one would expect with a former co-worker and people who go around the same entertainment circle. But one thing is for sure, he doesn’t want to be associated with her in this capacity. A project using his popularity to get attention when he is already signed on with Condor Heroes. And the last time they went on HS together was about using the same car which last night — y@ngzi was on HS again because that same car was also used by Li Xian ( also a former co-star she is romantically linked with ) proving that the issue was so ridiculous! but somehow, some glass hearted cpfs had doubts. lol. please.

i don’t like talking about our boys and other cps associated to them but his connection with this woman seems to make a lot of cpfs nervous. which i don’t understand. 😂😂😂😂 so i hope those people get some sort of “comfort” with this.

END.

referenced source 📚

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

[saturngrqy]

hii, so i was wondering if you could write something about y/n and gray being in a long relationship but they end up breaking up for some reason and a month or two later rumours start about y/n seeing someone else which are not true but g believes them. and then they end up seeing each other at a party or something and theres a lot of sexual tension between them, so they end up fucking and g is being v possessive, so later y/n explains it all to him and they figure out that they can’t be without each other okay yeah this is a mess, hope you find it interesting enough to write it lol thaanks!!

Holy shit this is long, I’ll do my best:) Ty for submitting this<3 I’m gonna skip the smut tho because I’m not good at it LMAO

warnings- angst, fluff, cursing

You rolled your eyes at your phone, seeing yet another tea account on instagram creating some stupid rumor that you’re seeing someone else, solely because there was a male voice in the background of a story you posted on snapchat. The voice was your brother. 

The truth is, you could never move on, and if you did, it would take months. Your previous boyfriend, Grayson, was the love of your life. You were almost certain he was the one for you. You had been together for almost 2 years- he was your first for everything. First kiss, first time, first serious relationship, etc. However, Grayson ended things abruptly once fans found out that you two were dating.

Grayson himself wasn’t exactly sure why he broke up with you; he really did love you, but at the time he was only thinking about his career and reputation, something he did too often to admit. He was too afraid that the numbers would die, that his fans wouldn’t accept you and in turn stop supporting Ethan and him. As stupid as it sounds, it has happened before. 

Your stomach fluttered, your heart suddenly beating too fast, a sign to stop thinking about him. Your friend had made it very clear to you that Grayson was not worth it and that you deserved better- which you did agree with, however, even though he hurt you, you could still only ever see yourself with him and only him. 

-

Grayson adjusted the sleek black louis vuitton belt on his green pants, silently wishing he could just stay inside in sweatpants with no shirt. He stood up, walking to his closet to grab his signature scent perfume, quickly spraying it over his chest and torso, as well as his wrists. He walked out of his room, seeing Kristina and Ethan standing all prepared by the door. 

“You ready to go?” Ethan asked, referring to a new years party that they’d been invited to by one of their youtuber friends (again pretend covid does not exist). 

What neither of them knew was that you would also be attending as a plus one to Adele, the twin’s assistant. Despite the fact that Adele still worked for them daily, you still remained friends because she was the only one who hadn’t ditched you after your breakup. 

Ethan left to go use the bathroom, not before being scolded by Kristina and Grayson for not going while they were getting ready. Grayson sat down on the double sided couch, leaning back and going onto instagram to entertain himself. He ended up going through his tags, something he rarely ever did. However, this time, noticing a screen recording of your snapchat story was being reposted constantly. Hooked by your name, he clicked on the post, almost immediately regretting it as he read the caption. 

“Grayson Dolan’s ex- girlfriend, Y/n Y/l/n posted this video at a restaurant with an unknown male voice in the background. Could she be moving on? Thoughts?”

Grayson’s night was instantly ruined. Grayson was upset you could move on so quickly, he couldn’t even look at another girl without thinking of your beautiful face. His heart clenched in his chest, making his body erupt into an uncomfortable sweat. He was no longer in the mood to party. But of course, right as he was about to go back to his room to change and go to bed, Ethan came out of the bathroom, ushering Grayson up and out of the house. 

-

The stench of vodka consumed your nose, causing it to scrunch up in disgust. You definitely were not fond of drinking, you had drank before in high school and it only ever caused problems. When you met Grayson, he showed you that you didn’t need drugs and alcohol to have fun, and ever since, you hadn’t touched a single drop of it. 

Adele rushed you through the crowd of drunk adults, claiming she was gonna find you two a ‘spot’ to chill out with much less people. She led you to a secluded part of the massive house, a room with a couch and a table, and on the table was ‘cards against humanity’ a game you hadn’t played in years. On the couch sat Juanpa, Mando, Ethan, Kristina, and Grayson. 

Your breath got caught in your throat, and apparently Adele noticed, because she turned to you before breathing out a “I had no idea he’d be here, I promise,” but you knew she was lying. You just rolled your eyes, going to sit in between her and Juanpa at the end of the sofa. 

You felt a pair of eyes staring at you, so you looked up to notice a pair of hazel orbs gazing at you. You gulped, avoiding Grayson’s eyes. You excused yourself, going to the bar to get a coke. 

You poured the coke into a red solo cup, writing your name onto it in sharpie so no one drinks from it. As you screwed the cap back on the liter, a firm hand approached your shoulder. 

“Hey,” Grayson whispered.

You turned around quickly. “Hi,” you said awkwardly. 

“How are you?” He asked. You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink. 

“Could be better, I’ve just been catching up on school. I’ve been working towards my bachelors degree,” you explained, quickly spilling information. That was something you’d always been insecure about; you always thought you talked too much about anything and everything. Grayson thought it was adorable. 

He smiled. “That’s good. Ethan and I have been working on some new projects. We are working on bath items for Wakeheart,” he informed, referring to his scent company with his twin. 

You just nodded, taking another sip. 

“I fucked up, Y/n,” Grayson spoke suddenly. 

“What do you mean?” You asked confused. 

“I fucked everything up. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I fucking ruined it. I’m so fucking sorry,” he spoke, quickly rushing all his words out. 

“Grayson,” you sighed, putting your cup down on the counter. 

“No, Y/n, listen to me. You mean so much to me, and I was such a fucking idiot for letting you go. If I could take it all back, I would do so in an instant.” He explained.

“Grayson, you had months to apologize. You broke me. Why are you just now telling me this?” You questioned. 

“I have no idea. I was nervous, I guess, because I know that you wouldn’t take any bullshit excuse. I don’t have any excuses, I have no clue why I did what I did. I love you so fucking much Y/n, and I always will.”

Instead of responding, you just grabbed his jawline, leaning in to plant a passionate kiss onto his lips. He quickly kissed back, wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled away, grabbing your arm before walking you to a room down the hallway. 

-

You woke up to the sun shining through the plain white curtains, looking to the left to notice Grayson’s sleeping naked body spooning you. You smiled softly, turning to give him a kiss on his forehead. He grunted, stretching his arms before gently opening his eyes. 

“Good morning,” you whispered, leaning in to press a peck to his lips. He soflty hummed, pulling away, bringing you into his chest. 

“Good morning angel,” he spoke. “Can we talk?”

“Already? We just woke up,” you giggled. 

“I know, but it’s important,” he said sternly. You hummed in acceptance, putting all your attention onto the man in front of you. 

“Are you seeing anyone? Because theres this video going around of you and some guy, and I don’t want to intrude if you are seeing someone,” he whispered. 

You snorted, looking up at him. 

“Grayson. That was my brother,” you informed, watching his face twist in realization. He laughed, pulling you in even tighter. 

“Good, because I want you all to myself.”

This was trash ok bye

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan fanfic #dolan twins #ethan dolan #my writing

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Lockscreens (ch. 3)

tw: Implied drinking

Word count: 2.9k

Genre: Angst, fluff

All trigger warnings will be tagged and posted at the beginning of each chapter! This will have *manga spoilers*

Pairings: Bokuto x fem!reader, Kuroo x fem!reader

Summary: Nearly four years ago, Bokuto left the love of his life for volleyball. Despite all the time, he’s still very much in love with her. He comes home to a major surprise leaving him wondering…What happened while he was gone?

AN: Please check the bottom for info about my 150 follower special!

Masterlist | prev | next

ch 3: No new notifications (13 weeks)

“Cheers! To the best, most hard-working Manager I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, who is doing a kickass job in her life. This is all for you, bestie!” Kuroo pointed at her, brandishing his red solo cup. The room broke into cheers as she began to glow cherry-red. She glanced down to the phone in her hand. No new notifications. 

“Congratulations (Name)!” Yaku grinned, tapping his cup against hers. She tucked her phone back into her pocket as she took a sip of the sparkling apple cider.

Kai stood beside her, elbowing her slightly. “We always knew you could do it.” 

“He’s so embarrassing,” she huffed, cheeks puffing up. Kuroo walked over, pushing her cheeks together. His own glowed like fresh-picked strawberries.

“You look so adorable kitten~!” She playfully nipped at his fingers, causing him to pull them back and wag his finger at her. “Is that really any way to treat your bestest friend who planned this party for you?” They stood side-by-side as they surveyed the scene. Kuroo had gone all out. He’d ordered food and had even helped prepare curry prior to the party while she had made the gyoza. Her house was filled with familiar faces. Her heart glowed, recognising all the members from the Nekoma team from her third-year. Even senpais who had graduated two years before had stopped by. Here and there were familiar faces from other teams like Sugawara from Karasuno, Konoha from Fukurodani, and even some of her classmates from university. 

By the entrance, a large white poster was tacked to the wall serving as a backdrop. On it was “Congratulations (Name)!” with markers were provided for party-guests to leave heart-felt messages. The pop of another champagne bottle being opened caught their attention. White and gold streamers decorated the walls. Balloons were center-pieces at all the various tables. Her heart clenched, an all-too familiar jersey and face popping into her mind. 

“Congratulations Kou!” She squealed, jumping into her boyfriend’s arms. Bokuto beamed, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

“Congratulations to you too, babe!” He leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers. She giggled, pulling back and straightening out his tie. 

“I can’t believe we’re finally finished,” (Name) smiled, turning her body so that her back was against Bokuto’s chest while they surveyed the room. All around were various former third-years of Fukurodani and Nekoma. Nekoma’s graduation ceremony had been yesterday whereas Fukurodani’s ceremony had been that day. 

“Finally finished, but still stuck together,” Kuroo appeared, looming over their shoulders with a smirk on his face.

“It’ll be a new adventure,” she protested, glaring at the male. 

“Oi, Kuroo, leave the love-birds alone,” Yaku scolded, holding two red solo cups. Yaku handed her a cup. “Cheers guys!” They all cheered, their cups tapping together. 

“To another four years with my babies,” she smiled affectionately, letting her head rest against Bokuto’s chest. 

“I guess I’ll sacrifice another four years taking care of you children,” Kuroo teased. She rolled her eyes, feeling Bokuto’s warm breath on her ear.

“To four years of university, and then a lifetime beside the girl who stole my heart all those years ago,” he whispered. (Name) flushed pink, only for a scarlet glow to overtake her when Bokuto pressed a sloppy kiss onto her cheek. “Let’s party!” He cheered, pulling away and chugging the rest of his beer.

She glanced down to her phone. No new notifications. All that stared back at her was the picture of some cute dog she pulled off of the internet. Nimble fingers plucked the phone from her grasps. “Hey!” She protested, hands reaching up to try and grab it. 

“This is your party!” He gestured to the room. “All of these people gathered here to celebrate this accomplishment with you.” He sent her a soft look, cupping her cheeks before pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. “You can have your phone back later, okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” she pouted, pushing his hands off of her face. 

Kuroo pushed her towards Kai and Yaku before he walked away, joining Kenma in the corner. “You and Kuroo seem closer than ever,” Yaku commented, shooting the girl a sly look. “Did something happen?” The former libero eyed the rooster-headed male as he laughed. 

“Oh, let me help you with that Kenma!” (Name) called, putting down the water bottles as she made her way over to the first year setter. Kenma’s face turned as he avoided direct eye-contact, focusing on the ball he was wiping down. She stood beside him, grabbing a towel to wipe another. Her perky voice carried through the emptying gym. Hazel eyes followed them, a smile proudly displayed on his face. Yaku and Kai exchanged looks, a smirk creeping on Yaku’s face. The second years entered the locker-room, following the rooster-headed male.

“God I’m so happy right now.”

“Oh really, what’s going on now Kuroo?” Kai inquired, sending the male a sly look.

“Does it have anything to do with (Name)?” Yaku teased.

“No!” Kuroo pouted. “Maybe.” He took off his shirt, grabbing a different one from his bag. “I’m just happy that she and Kenma get along, okay?” 

“Don’t they usually hangout anyways?” Kai raised his eyebrows.

“Is that all that makes you happy about her?” 

“Well I mean...isn’t that good? Isn’t it a good thing my best friends get along together?” Kuroo smirked. “I don’t see you having any best friends, Yaku, so I guess you can’t relate there.” Yaku’s face crossed into anger, as he rolled his shirt sleeve up. 

“Hey, don’t start fighting here,” Kai warned, tugging his own shirt down. 

“He started it!” Yaku scowled.

“Well, I’m ending it.” 

There was a knock at the door. “Kuroo? Are you still in there?” 

Kuroo was holding his hand against Yaku’s forehead, preventing his movements. “Yeah!”

“Hurry up, rooster-head. I gotta get home and get started on my paper!” 

“Coming!” Kuroo pushed Yaku back, throwing his bag over his shoulder as he ran out, tripping slightly. The boys exchanged looks.

“He’s so whipped.” 

Kai grunted in agreement. 

“Something like that.” They all turned to look at the pair of best friends.

“What happened to Bokuto?” Kai asked, his eyebrows raised. 

(Name) turned to look at them, her eyes dimming. “He uh...he left, I guess.” She cleared her throat. “He went to go pro and left me behind.” She shrugged. Another sip.

“That owl-haired idiot,” Yaku scowled. “You guys seemed so in love though.” 

“Didn’t you choose your major because of him?”

“We were and yeah, kinda.” Kuroo’s eyes met hers from across the room, and he sent her a cheeky smile. “But sometimes, you gotta let go of the people you love so that they can fly to their highest.” The group drank, Kai and Yaku exchanged looks at her sorrowful expression. “Besides! I love being a recreational therapist anyways.” 

“Are you planning on getting a doctorate? I know you mentioned wanting to do physical therapy sometime.”

She shrugged. “I don’t think it’s in the cards for me right now, but maybe sometime down the line.” A hand subconsciously settled onto her stomach. In turn, she asked them about their post-graduation plans and they soon fell into an easy conversation. 

After a few hours, the party began to wind down. People left, the food and alcohol had long been consumed. “Thank you for having us!” Yaku waved as he and Kai left. (Name) had been bent over the kitchen counter, picking up the empty cups and dirty plates that littered it. She waved at the duo before the door snapped shut behind them.

“Thank god that’s over with,” she said as she went back to cleaning. Another glance at the phone on the table. No new notifications. She bit back her sigh. At this point, she shouldn’t have even been surprised. 

Kuroo’s annoying laugh echoed in the house as he began cleaning the table. He eyed the decorations. “How about we leave the decorations up for a bit? There’s no harm in celebrating a little longer.” 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re just too tired to clean up.”

He walked around the island, wiping down the cleared counter. “That and you need rest,” he chided. A light hand pressed against her lower back. “Go shower and get ready for bed. I’ll take care of this.” A chaste forehead kiss. Her eyes fluttered shut at the searing contact. 

She let out a long sigh, a hand on her stomach, a slight bump meeting it. “Only because my feet and back are killing me,” she acknowledged. She leaned up, pressing her lips to his cheek. “Thanks rooster-head.” Ignoring his cry of indignation, she headed to the bathroom. By the time she was finished, Kuroo was sprawled onto her bed. “I don’t remember giving you permission to sleepover,” she remarked, leaning against the doorway as she towel-dried her hair.

“And I don’t remember getting a thank you for today. I guess we’re both missing something now aren’t we?” His snarky reply had her balling up and throwing the damp towel on his face. Kuroo whipped it off, complaining loudly. She walked over, crawling towards Kuroo to hover over him.

“Thank you for the party.” His eyes gleamed as he tapped his cheek. 

“I think you missed something here.” 

“Kuroo!” She warned, and he threw his head back in a good-natured laugh. 

“Down, kitten,” he teased. “No need to get your claws out.” He gently eased her off of him onto the bed. “I’m gonna shower and I’ll be right back for cuddles.” She scowled, throwing a pillow at him.

“Don’t even think about it Kuroo!” He cackled as the pillow bounced off the door. She stretched slightly before she relaxed onto her side. Exhaustion overwhelmed her, and she slipped into the abyss. 

****

Nearly 300 miles away, a muscular male was just clambering into bed. His phone vibrated, lighting up. 

Konoha: Missed you at (Name)’s grad party! Hope you’re having fun with the pros 🙄😜

Gold eyes widened as he opened his calendar. He cursed. (Name) had finished university last week, and he hadn’t even sent her anything! Setting a silent reminder to send her a gift in the morning, he quickly drafted a text.

Bokuto: Congratulations baby! I’m so proud of you 💖 Can’t wait to see you soon!

He tossed his phone onto the nightstand and laid on his back. His muscles were extra sore that day, practice had run three hours over due to an interview that had predated it. He closed his eyes as his breathing deepened. The wing-spiker didn’t notice the error message that popped up on his phone as he fell asleep. Nor did he notice that his phone wasn’t plugged in.

****

(A week later. Name is 14 weeks along)

Stepping into the comfort of her home, (Name) let out a sigh of relief. It had been nerve-wracking, going to the clinic alone. She threw her purse onto her couch, plopping down next to it. Glancing down at her phone, she realized she had probably an hour before Kuroo would be coming over. At the thought of her friend, her heart skipped a beat. A hand settled on her stomach again as she slipped in her thoughts. Feeling the bump, seeing the doctor….it was all so real. She really was having a baby. She was having Bokuto’s baby. Her fingers played with her phone. Should she…? A thumb hovered over his contact. (Name) gnawed on her bottom lip. She tapped on their messages.

Last message sent:

[Name]: Hi baby! I hope you’re having fun at your training camps 💞 Don’t forget to eat and drink water. I love you. Read: 1 month ago.

(Name) shook her head. There was no point in texting him if he wasn’t going to respond to her. She sighed, startled out of her thoughts as her stomach gurgled. “Ooh, I’m sorry baby. Gimme a sec.” She stood up, making her way to her kitchen. Opening the door to her fridge, she was greeted to the sight of prepared bentos. “Oh, Kuroo,” she sighed affectionately, taking the top box out. A sticky note was tacked onto it. ‘Figured you might be too busy to make food. Enjoy! -Kuroo’. Popping the lid open, she was greeted to rice, a fried egg, sliced chicken breast, and spinach. Placing it in the microwave, she pulled out her phone to send a text. 

[Name]: Thank you for the bentos! It looks delicious

Rooster-head: Anything for you, dear 😼 See you soon!

The microwave beeped, calling her attention. She sat at her table, whispering a quick, “thank you for the meal,” before she started scrolling through social media. As she placed the empty container into the sink, there was a knock at the door. Briskly patting her hands dry on the towel, she opened the door.

“Howdy-do!” 

She rolled her eyes. “Hello to you too Kuroo. Do you have any other weird greetings for me?” He shrugged off his coat, throwing it over the back of the couch.

“I’m sorry, is ‘Honey, I’m home!’ more appropriate for you, princess?” 

“You’re insufferable.” He cackled, pulling her into a hug. 

“Eh, but you love me.”

“Do I really though?” She dead-panned, gently pushing him off. “Thanks for coming over, I really appreciate all the help you’ve been giving me.” He let her go, taking a step back.

Kuroo cracked his knuckles. “Don’t sweat it, I offered. Now, is everything already in the room?” 

“Yeah, I just need to get some last bits of furniture, and then it’ll be all set.” 

“Let’s get to painting then!” She stepped into the secondary bedroom, revealing a cloth-covered floor. “What color did you pick out?” 

(Name) popped open the lid for the bucket. “I liked this blue-grey colour. Figured I wanted something gender neutral.” 

“Makes sense.” He surveyed the walls. “Are you going to do a mural or something on the wall too?” Kuroo bent down, pouring a bit of paint into the tray. 

“Maybe? Might have to ask someone who’s more artistically inclined.” A hum in response.  

“How was the appointment, by the way?” 

She put her hair in a bun, pulling on a pair of stained overalls. “Good! The doctor just told me to have more DHA, protein, and to make sure to get sufficient rest.”

“I told you that you needed more docosahexaenoic acid.”

“Like I said, insufferable.” They stared at each other before bursting into laughter. 

Kuroo clapped his hands, rolling his shoulders back. “Well, the paint isn’t gonna get on the walls itself.” They rolled up their sleeves. “Let’s get to it.” The next hour was filled with laughter, their favorite songs blaring from the Bluetooth speakers that (Name) brought in. Just as they were about to jump into the chorus of (favorite song), the music died out and was replaced by a ringing noise. She raised a brow, laying the paint brush against the lid as she went to her phone. Her heart skipped a beat. Was it Bokuto? (Name) answered, taking the call off of Bluetooth.

“Hello, is this (L. Name, Name)?” 

Her brow furrowed. “Yes, this is she.”

“Excellent! My name is Kirishima Kayda, I’m with the Tokyo Office of Sports Medicine. I’m calling about the resume you submitted recently. Will you be free for an interview next week?” 

Her eyes widened, and she started smacking Kuroo’s arms as she bounced with excitement. “Oh my gosh, hi Ms. Kirishima, yes! I have open availability next week. When would you like me to come in?”

“How about Tuesday at 10 A.M.? I will send you an email with the interview confirmation and all other information you’ll need.”

“That sounds wonderful, thank you so much for your time.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you next week!” 

“What was that about?” Kuroo asked as she pulled the phone away from her ear.

“I just got an interview with the Tokyo Office of Sports Medicine!” She squealed, glowing with excitement. 

“Ooh, I’m so excited for you! Congratulations, kitten.” Kuroo pulled her into a hug, causing her to whine as splatters of paint transferred onto her clothes. “Now, help me finish getting this room ready.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” she pouted, tucking her phone back into her overalls. After tucking some strands of hair back into the bun, she grabbed one of the brushes, flicking paint at the tall male. 

“Oi!” 

She giggled, ducking under his arms as he attempted to send a glob of paint at her. They began running around the room. More paint ended up on them rather than the actual walls as they played like children.

****

“Not that I care, but why the hell have you been checking your phone so much?” Bokuto jumped, his phone flying out of his hand and skidding across the ground. Sakusa stood in front of him, his arms in his pockets. 

“No reason!” Bokuto replied nervously, running over to pick his phone up. He winced at the cracked screen. “Aw man,” he whined. Bokuto had already been having issues with his phone for the past week or so. 

“Serves you right,” Sakusa rolled his eyes. “C’mon, we’re supposed to be practicing.” Bokuto let out a soft sigh as he walked back to his bag. Sakusa turned, heading towards the court while Bokuto dropped his phone into his bag. No new notifications. Every opportunity he had, he was racing back to his phone. No new notifications.

AN: Thank you to everyone who has been reading my work so far! I really enjoy putting Lockscreens out for you. I have officially reached 150 followers!! Please read this post for more info about my request celebration that I am having! 

Taglist: @toaster-stick @thatartsybitch @brazil-hinata @sawamooora @lastminaddition @anejuuuuoy @abby-rutledge20 @babybluebisexual @badboysdoitbetter2 @liathachcapricious @cosmiclunas @wishingforanother@toobsessedsstuff  @setterfish   (If your name is bolded, I had trouble tagging you!) 

Please message me or send me an ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 💞

#bokuto #bokuto koutarou #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto fluff #bokuto angst #bokuto koutarou fluff #bokuto koutarou angst #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou angst #kuroo tetsurou fluff #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo tetsuro angst #kuroo tetsuro x reader #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto koutaro fluff #bokuto koutaro angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #kuroo #kuroo fluff #kuroo angst #nekoma #fukurodani #bokuto x reader #hidden-otaku-stuff #lockscreens #angst

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Payback (Colby Brock Imagine)

Summary: *REQUEST* “eyy! can you do an imagine where reader has a nickname for Colby which is embarrassing/silly and the jake, who clearly doesn't know that reader is the only one who can call him that heard it and decided to tease Colby and started calling him by the nickname, so one day he learns the consequences. Idk if you understand it but yeah 😄❤😘”

Written: 2020

Word Count: 1,303

Warnings: Swearing, slight fluff?

Masterlist

I woke up this morning to a camera in my face. Living in the trap house, this isn’t something that I’m not used to. It’s basically a non-spoken agreement when you start dating and living with one of the guys. Tara and Kat were smart to not move in with Jake and Sam. They get to get dress, do their makeup, and mentally prepare to film whereas I just have to hope nothing suspect ends up on the internet. And if I’m not in front of the camera, I’m behind it recording some dumb fuckery that the four idiots I live with have gotten themselves into. Lucky for me, today, I’m recording.

A couple of days ago, Jake overheard me call Colby “Baby Bear.” Jake being Jake decided to call Colby Baby Bear and Colby calmly told him not to call him that. Of course, Jake took this as an opportunity to tease Colby about his nickname. This resulted in Jake repeatedly calling him Baby Bear every chance he gets. To make matters worse, Jake recorded every time he did it and posted it on TikTok. Now I’m quietly helping Colby get payback on Jake. And boy does this prank have layers.

The nickname stems from the fact that Colby tries to be all tough like a bear. His inability to grow facial hair and his overall goofiness reminds me more of a baby bear. Ergo, the nickname.

“Y/N, did you grab the speaker from our room?” Colby whispered from inside Jake’s room. We’re working completely in the dark. When I said that Colby work me up in the morning, I meant he woke me up at 4 am to get started on this prank. It’s now 6 in the morning.

“Yeah, I already put it in the corner before we forgot. Now hurry up before you make one of the balloons set off the mouse traps. We still have to put up the duct tape door and water cups.” To make our lives easier and to work faster, Colby and I blew up the balloon yesterday and measured the door to make a sheet up duct tape. All we have to do there is to attach the tape to Jake’s door so we can do the final part of this prank.

To be completely honest, I’m surprised that Colby came up with this revenge prank himself. It puts all of his prank war pranks to shame. It’s like he’s the new Elton. First, we had to carefully put mouse traps all over Jake’s floor. Just in case Jake turned on the lights or saw the mouse traps on the floor, we covered them with the balloons. Colby and I had a mini debate about whether or not the balloons could set off the mouse traps. We tested it out and spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get the balloons in the room without ruining the prank early. Then we duct tape his bedroom door. This would force him to break down the tape wall and topple the tower of water filled solo cups. And to get the revenge going, we hid a speaker in Jake’s room to scare him awake.

“Okay, almost done. Are you almost done filling the water cups?” Colby asks in a normalize volume. He set up the GoPro in Jakes room and closed the door. For efficiency, We filled up two buckets of water so I can just start scooping the ice cold water into the red solo cups.

Sam walks out of his room, sees us and tries to not get involved.

“I saw you Golbach, get your ass over here.” Colby whisper yells. Sam back tracks to us and slowly walks to where we’re working.

“I want no part in this bullshit.” Sam says shaking his head.

“Too late, now help Colby get the tape up or you’re next.” I tell him. It’s a good thing Sam’s back isn’t broken anymore. I would have felt bad for threatening him.

“Hurry up though, I don’t want Jake to wake up before we’re done.” Colby orders.

“Maybe I should stop calling you baby bear after this. Kind of giving me papa bear vibes. Daddy bear, if you will.” I joke.

“Yeah, I’ll be right back, I’m going to throw up.” Sam says from the bottom of the ladder.

“She’s joking. Right, Y/N?”

“I don’t know Daddy Bear, you tell me.” I fill up the last water cup.

“I’m getting uncomfortable.” Sam pipes up.

“Sorry, I’ll go wake up Corey while you two finish this up.” I blow Colby an air kiss and take the camera into Corey’s room.

I barge in and close the door behind me in case he screamed. I started throwing whatever I could find until he work up. I pick up what I think is a shoe and hit what I hope isn’t his head.

“What the fuck?” Corey sits up and nearly jumps when he sees me.

“Get out of bed bitch, we’re raising hell.” To fuck with Corey even more. I leave the room and wait outside his door. I stick my head back in to be quiet when he comes out of his room.

A few minutes later Corey comes out and joins Sam and Colby while they stack the water cups. I set the camera up and put towels in a circle outside Jake’s door to hopefully control the damage.

“Can I know what is going on, please?” Corey asks as the last water cup up on the very unstable water tower.

“Just a little old fashion revenge. Come over here.” Colby said from his laptop. We used the GoPro that plays live footage. Colby opened it up on his computer so we could watch the inside of Jake’s room in real time.

“Watch and learn bitches, never mess with baby bear!” I whisper yell.

“Y/N…” Colby warns.

“Sorry babe,” I press play on the distorted Monsters INC. audio from TikTok.

The four of us huddle around the laptop and watch as Jake jumps up in bed. He covers his ears and looks around his room in confusion trying to figure out where the sound is coming from. He swings his legs off his bed and is immediately met with a mouse to the foot. This causes Jake to jump again and fall to the floor, no doubt getting hurt by more mouse traps. Jake climbs back on the bed and pulls off the mouse traps stuck to him. He grabs his comforter and throws it on the floor. Jake seems to have developed a working brain cell during that fall. He manages to make it to the door, slightly jumping as he continues to step on mouse traps.

Jake opens the door and the music gets louder for us. We get up from the computer and face Jake’s door. I run to quickly position the camera that was on us to get the new view of us waiting for Jake. I make it back in time to see Jake break down the tape wall collapse the water tower. Some water splashes on us, but most of it falls on Jake. He stays on the ground, stuck to the tape wall like a fly stuck on a fly trap. I turn the music off and the room is filled with our laughs.

“I’m in hell. What the fuck just happened?” Jake asks from the floor. Corey is also on the floor, laughing his ass off.

“Let this be a warning to everyone. Nobody is allowed to call me baby bear.” Colby says.

“Excuse me?” I ask slightly offended.

“…Correction: Nobody, except Y/N, is allowed to call me baby bear.” Colby comes up to me and places a kiss on my cheek.

#Colby Brock #Colby Brock Imagine #Colby Brock Imagines #Colby Brock x Reader #Colby x Reader #Sam and Colby #sam and colby imagine #Sam and Colby Imagines #trap house #Traphouse #trap house imagines #trap house imagine #traphouse imagines #traphouse imagine #imagine #imagines

[sweetkyu]

blue | sunwoo

genre: angst, fluff.

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol.

word count: 3.7k

n/a: i was inspired by some of jaden's songs to write this fic, this is the first time i post something so be kind hehe

i lost the count of how long i was standing in the middle of my living room, watching the rain fall down through the balcony door, holding onto my cup of chamomile tea with both hands. my mind had already given all the laps around the world as i just stood there. eyes locked to the world outside. empty head, no thoughts. nothing but kim sunwoo breaking into tears when i decided to end our relationship, three months ago. every day has been painful and sorrowful like this, since then. of course sometimes i can manage to just take a deep breath and try to live a day without thinking too much about it. today is the worst day until now because it's the day we would complete five years of dating, that is if we were together. to celebrate it, we had plans of traveling to norway to see the northern lights, a dream we dreamed together since we were kids.

i met kim sunwoo way before he became the boyz' main rapper sunwoo. i could never think that i would be this crazy in love with him when we met, but we don't know nothing about fate, i guess. and me and sunwoo, we were destined to be together, made for each other just like adam and eve. we have so much in common, we share the same dreams, we want to achieve the same things. our moms were university best friends, we didn't have much contact as kids, until the day our mothers decided to put us on the same school to study together... but why would they do that? nobody ever thought we were going to fall in love with each other, but when it happened, to our families it was just perfect. however, ten years after the first day in school together and here we are, here i am completely devastated and drowned in regret, chasing for sunwoo in every place. i thought i would be strong after all these years of relationship, after all the silly fights and misunderstandings i thought i would be able to ignore everything and stay by him, for him. and still i didn't.

his fans knew everything about us, since we started dating before he debuted. i was always there, at all concerts, fanmeetings, music shows. whenever i had the time, i was there in the backstage. deobis were mostly okay with us being together, some of them had social media accounts dedicated for us, i would see everything... and by everything, i mean literally. especially the fans who would hate me and send me messages saying that they wanted me dead, that sunwoo would be better off without me and so much more. that was when i became weak and started to believe in them. that was when my life became a mess in all areas, i was going through a major crisis in my job, my father was sick, some close friends stopped talking to me for no reason at all and sunwoo was on a one-month tour in japan. i was feeling lost, lonely, and i had to do something.

it was raining just like today on that night. i was preparing another cup of tea for me, my third round that day, when he got into the apartment. sunwoo was happy that he was finally home, he would tell stories about the tour and i would just pretend i was listening to them. he could notice something was off and asked me about it. in a whisper i replied him, "i wanna break up". it got silent for long and hard seconds, until i collected courage enough to look at him. the most painful thing i've ever seen, little did i know that scene would be tattoed in my mind for months. beautiful round eyes that i adore so much locking the tears so they wouldn't fall down, he nibbled at his bottom lip before asking "are you serious?" and i took a deep breath before nodding my head as a yes. sunwoo, then, began with the questions, demanding to know where all of that came from considering that we were so happy together. i was rude in my answers, saying that i was tired of the relationship and that i needed some time for myself. moments later and sunwoo went out, slamming the door behind him after i claimed that was the end. 

i've been living under this nightmare ever since, hating myself more every second because i was the one who put myself under this situation, who put sunwoo under this situation. for the past six months i had to just watch sunwoo through his work and social media, and sometimes i would know two or three things about him through chanhee, his fellow groupmate and best friend. chanhee was the only one who knew the truth about the break up and i made him swear he wouldn't tell no one, especially sunwoo, and so he did. in exchange, three months after, chanhee let me know about a mixtape sunwoo would release, mixtape which came out earlier today at midnight. i was kinda excited about this, it is his first solo work and i know how much he wanted to create something with his own touch, his own feeling. the mixtape is called 'blue' and it has only four songs, each named with every letter of the word blue. the songs tell a story on their own, so they make better sense if listened in order and all at once. in the lyrics, he talks about everything he had won as an artist and all that he lost because of that, all in a confused mix of feelings, sometimes full of anger and other times he would sound calm, and it's pretty clear that he is talking about me when he mentions a girl. since his group is now one of the most popular boy groups in korea, it didn't take long for his so waited mixtape to reach #1 in all digital platforms. i was so happy for him and so proud of his work, i even typed a text to send him but i just couldn't press the send button. instead, i expressed my happiness to chanhee, who was extremely comprehensive like always. 

as expected, i spent the entire day of today listening to this goddamn mixtape. every time i would hear his painful words it was like someone was putting a knife into my heart and, oh god, why did i brought so much suffering into this boy's life? this question kept on hammering my head the entire day until i decided i wouldn't listen to it anymore. i finished my shift at work without listening to any music, the background sound would be enough to make me company. i got into the subway with my coworkers just like any other day, they would say something about going out since it was friday and i would pretend i had some other important thing to do. and now, looking at all this rain that is falling outside, i think it was the best i could have done. i look at the clock ticking on the wall and although it's not even 10pm i decide to call it a day. i turn off the tv, let the empty mug by the kitchen sink and drag myself to the bedroom, laying down on my bed, getting comfortable around my pillows and under my fluffy blanket, letting the sleep take full control of my body.

it's still dark outside when i finally managed to free myself from the dream i was having. a dream where everything was fine and i could be found inside sunwoo's loving arms again, feeling his heart beat against mine, smelling his scent, hearing his sweet nothings being whispered at me. but then, so sudden, i looked deep into his eyes and recalled that it was only a dream. i would cry so hard while he would just look at me with a smile on his face. it's been a while since i had dreams like this one. i woke up with tears falling from my eyes, body shaking from head to toes. it took me a while to calm down, when i finally did i decide to have a glass of cold water. after going to the kitchen to drink it, i find my forgotten cellphone onto the dinner table. once i unlock it, i find some unread messages from chanhee.

[00:14] choi chanhee: y/n, i'm sorry but i think it's better for me to tell you

[00:14] choi chanhee: we were at a bar, sunwoo was drunk and started talking about you, saying he had to see you and he left

[00:15] choi chanhee: anyways he is going to your place, we couldn't stop him i'm sorry

[00:15] choi chanhee: call any of us if he acts weird okay? he seems to be out of himself this days... 

i let out a heavy sigh after seeing the messages were sent forty minutes ago, he will be here any time soon. to see sunwoo right now is what i want the most, surely, without any doubts. i miss him with everything that i have. but at the same time i don't feel ready enough for this, i'm not in my best moment, i don't know how i will react when i look at him; once it will be our first encounter after everything that happened between us. without noticing, i start pacing back and forth in my living room, feeling confused and nervous, anxiety growing inside me one more time that night and i feel my legs losing their strength, i sit by the couch as i try to take deep breaths in order to calm myself down again. this can't be happening, this can't be happening, this-- my thoughts are interrupted by the doorbell, followed by knocks on the door. i don't know how but i manage to get up and walk to the door with my jelly-like legs. i don't need to check before opening it. just like i had dreamed moments ago, sunwoo is right in front of me. dark circles around his beautiful eyes, the tip of the nose a bit red and he smells like he has been drinking and smoking for the past few hours. he is wearing black hoodies, black pants and black converse. all black, just the way he likes. i'm still giving no reactions, blinking at the sight of him, hoping for this to be another dream.

"hi" it’s all i can say.

"c-chanhee told me, y/n" he hiccups, taking a deep breath after "he told me everything" i look at him, trying to come up with a sentence but i just can't talk "a-about the haters and how that made you break up with me"

"sunwoo, i--" i stop in the middle of the sentence, couldn't finish because he literally jumped into my arms. a couple minutes later, i close the door behind us before readjusting his arms around me. with the head against his chest i can feel his heart bumping fast and his chin hovering above my head, and somehow it is recomforting. we stay like this for a couple moments, i stop feeling nervous and anxious as i feel his arms around me, calming me down, until his sobbing come into my ears "are you okay?" he nods, kissing the top of my head.

"i just..." i lift my head to look at him, red teary eyes looking deep into my eyes "why didn't you tell me, y/n? huh?" he holds my face with both hands "you can't do this, my love. how can you believe in what other people say when you know i'll love you forever?" he puts his forehead against mine and mumbles "please come back to me, i miss you so much" 

"sunwoo..." i take a deep breath and whisper "i don't know..."

"please, my love, please... i do anything!" his breath smells like alcohol "if you want me to leave the group, i'll do that right now!"

"stop saying nonsense, you know you can't do that!" i shake off his hands away slightly and he seems pretty offended, getting some steps away and looking back at me with angry but still sad eyes, tears now running down his cheeks without permission. a muscle in his jaw twitches making him look scary, yet i'm not afraid.

"it isn't nonsense! it's the truth!" he shouts "how could you believe those words when i am madly in love with you?--" sunwoo paces around the living room, hands messing his hair as if he was having an attack.

"sunwoo, you're screaming--"

"i can't eat, i can't sleep! all i can think about is you!" he takes a deep breath “i have my own pride! you can’t do this to me--”

"it's late, please lower your voice--"

“you can’t just leave me sick like this!” i scratch my forehead at his screamed words “you can’t throw away what we had, not this way!”

“sunwoo, please--”

"why did you have to do this?” he goes on “we've been together for so long, how could you let us just fall all apart?"

"sunwoo..."

"i can't breathe when you're not with me, y/n! fuck!" he slaps the flower pot that once was on top of the table, making it fall into the ground and break into pieces.

"oh my god, kim sunwoo! stop acting like crazy! look what you did!" he stares at me, gasping. i feel my cheeks getting red at the sudden wave of mixed feelings.

"i'm s-sorry" sunwoo looks to the ground and sighs before dropping on his knees, hysterically sobbing "it hurts so much, y/n. you're my everything! i can't stay away from you anymore" he lets out while crying "now why... why would you?" i don't know what to do, but i still keep watching him while holding back some tears.

it doesn't take too much until i can't take this agonizing scene anymore. i know he is tired and confused and i'm definitely not on the mood to fight, that's why i kneel down in front of him and let my hands cup his cheeks. i lift his head, taking a good look at his face as i start to wipe his teardrops away, still fighting back my tears, feeling my heart break into tiny little pieces "why don't you take a shower so you can calm down and then if you're not too tired we talk this through, huh? what do you say?" he opens a sad smile and nods, softly leaning his head against my hand as he searches for more of my touches.

with a certain difficulty, i manage to get him back on his feet but somehow he lost his balance, hardly being able to stand on his feet, so i help him walk to the bathroom while he keeps on muttering that he is sorry for everything and that he wants me back, making this even harder. once we are in the bathroom, i help him with his clothes before pushing him under the shower, i open the faucet, letting the water fall on his head.

"ah! it's cold!" he complains in a hiss, hugging his now naked body.

"i know, but you need it" i close the bathroom shower door, hearing as he mumbles something about not having extra clothes, making me sigh at the fact that he had forgotten that he owns at least three drawers in my dresser.

i walk back to the living room and clean up the mess sunwoo made. when finished, i decide to have a couple more glasses of water to calm down. i still can't believe this is happening. i draw in a long breath as i walk to the bedroom, i open one of sunwoo's drawers, which is exactly the same way it was the day he left. i pick up some clothes for him and soon when i stop hearing the sound of the water falling, i get back into the bathroom to hand sunwoo his clothes. he shyly thanks me before i walk out the room to give him some privacy. few minutes go by until sunwoo shows up in the room, wearing the navy blue pajamas i picked for him, dragging his body to the bed, where i am sitting on.

"i'm sorry, my love. sorry i'm a mess up" he mumbles, stopping in front of me, just by the look on his eyes i can feel that he is completely exhausted, like he would sleep for an entire day if he could. i don't say much, sighing only before getting up to take his hand and sit him down on the bed. i take the towel away from his hands and start to dry off his hair. i feel his hand touch my waist lightly, his thumbs caressing my skin over the material of my shirt, touches ever so soft just like his voice when he whispered "don't be mad at me"

"i'm not" i quickly answer back.

"yes, you are. you're not even looking at me, y/n" he puts his hands on my hands, making any movement of mine stop and then i finally look into his now swollen eyes, all i can see is sadness and sorrow.

"i'm not mad, sunwoo. i just don't like seeing you like that," i try not to cry but it's barely impossible "it makes me sad and it's even worse to know that you're suffering because of me" he wraps his arms around my waist when i drop the towel to the bed, covering my face as i sob uncontrollably.

i find shelter in sunwoo's arms moments later, when he makes me sit on his lap. i curl myself up inside his embrace, snuggling my nose on his neck and feeling his fingers going back and forth on my skin, sometimes he would kiss my temper and whisper some words, reminding me that he was there with me, calming me down.

"i'm so, so sorry for all of this" i hear myself saying after long minutes went by, he holds my  face on his hands, looking deep into my crying eyes "i was weak and made us suffer this badly" he nods at my words "i was in a bad place back then, i thought you wouldn't understand and got us all stuck in this even worse nightmare" he runs his thumb across my cheeks, wiping away some teardrops "i should've talked to you but i was afraid..."

"there was nothing for you to be afraid of, my love... we would have talked this through and find a solution together" i bob my head in comprehension as i feel his fingers put a lock of my hair behind my ear, tears falling silently this time "just like we will find one now, you are not alone. i’m with you, y/n"

"i'm so happy that you are here, sunwoo..." i let out in a whisper and i can watch his lips curve into a smile "i tried to text you before but i just couldn't" he nods.

"i understand, y/n. and it's totally fine" we grin at each other “and i’m sorry i didn’t call all this time and--” he is interrupted by a sudden yawn that makes us laugh, he apologizes right after "sorry, my love, i'm just feeling tired" he blinks lazily as i cross my hand through his hair.

"no, babe, i'm sorry for putting you up to this at this time, we should've talked in the morning" sunwoo shakes his head in denial, mumbling that it's okay "let's call it a day, shall we?" he nods once again that night.

"perfect idea, my love" i smile at him.

my hand fall from his hair to his chin as i put the other one on his shoulder. i lean myself and only closed my eyes after i saw sunwoo closing his, i get closer and closer until our lips locked. our kiss is small at first, slow and soft as if we were afraid of hurting each other but soon it grew bigger and full of desire. it was like my kiss had woken him up, his hands are now everywhere; first holding my cheeks then running down my arms until he got them on my waist, pulling me closer as if it is even possible. my own hands flew to the back of his head without me even notice and i feel his ones running up and down my spine, then holding me close. 

"i love you, y/n" he mumbles in between our making out session, lowering his kisses down my neck and shoulder.

"i love you too, love you  so much" i let out in a whine, panting under his caresses and this makes him smile. sunwoo stops all the kissing and leans his body backwards for a moment, taking his time to look on my face. good thing is that i can take a good look at his as well. he is gasping through his big and swollen red lips, black hair still a bit humid because i didn't make a good job at drying them, beautiful and swollen eyes that had stopped crying now stare at me with passion, making me feel like i am the prettiest woman on the planet, shirt all messy on his body and i swear this is the most beautiful scene i have seen, the dim lights from the bedside lamp only helping him to look even better.

"please don't you ever leave me again, my love" sunwoo prays in a whisper, one hand going up my cheek and i put mine above it "i don't know what i'll do without you" i lean my head to give his caressing hand a kiss.

"i'm not going anywhere" a smile dances on his lips and then he pulls me closer, making us fall on the bed and laugh together at it, before sunwoo kisses me again.

three months ago when he left, i could feel an emptiness growing inside of me, as if sunwoo had taken a piece of me along with him. but now i can assure that the hollow space i was feeling before sunwoo entered my apartment earlier today, that feeling is gone. kim sunwoo had always been that one source of happiness in my life and i don't know how i had the courage to doubt that nor how i managed to live all this time without him. again, we are like adam and eve. we are not perfect, we make mistakes, we are simply soulmates, born to be together. and i know that from now on i'm going to be fine, we are going to be happy.

#sunwoo #the boyz #tbz #the boyz sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #tbz scenarios #tbz fanfic #sunwoo fanfic #sunwoo scenarios #tbz fluff #the boyz fluff #tbz angst #the boyz angst #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst #the boyz x reader #the boyz x you #tbz x reader #tbz x you #sunwoo x reader #kim sunwoo #sweetkyu

[vintage-brass-tc]

4/10/2021

(( Brace yourselves for a long post. 👁 ))

I’m not sure if I gave any more context of this event either, but, last week, I and around 1-2 people from each section were invited by the directors to go help out with something in preparation for next year.

To summarize it briefly, the incoming band students would be trying out some instruments today. Due to COVID restrictions, they couldn’t play the instrument (much) and actually try it out like the usual process. The older band kids given the option to volunteer were going to be the lead examples of what an instrument sounds like.

This means they’d play for people who were interested in hearing them/trying out our instrument. In addition, we also helped make sure the crowd was settled in nicely when we weren’t occupied with said playing.

Of course, I agreed to come right away. Who would turn down a chance to hang out around their TC (ahem, and the band 😳) for a little while?

People could choose to be there for around half of the event— three hours and thirty minutes, give or take— or remain there throughout the full seven-hour duration of work.

I think you know what I’m going to say now, right? Yeah. I chose to stay and pitch in for the whole time. Needless to say, I’m pretty worn out from it all.

(Believe it or not, I practically passed out right after I wrote the previous sentence. Haha, whoops. Hello from the next day!)

Anywho, with all of the background information out of the way, let’s move on to the actual event!!

||||||||||||||||||||||||

I arrived pretty early and assisted the band directors with their setup in the school’s cafeteria. W and I didn’t talk or make eye contact very much, but that was because we were scrambling to get things like the instruments, hand sanitizer stations, music stands, etcetera prepared.

I noticed that M’s wife and daughter, who’s in my band, were here to help all day as well. It was nice to coexist and talk a little with those who M loves and adores.

From what I remember, the first time W spoke within earshot of me was when everyone was given the incentive to warm up on their instruments in the band hall.

He made a stupid joke that I don’t quite remember, but I and some others found it pretty funny. As always, he never failed to lift the room’s spirits, or at the very least my own. If what he said wasn’t enough to keep me going, the smile on his face before he left was adorable as well.

~~

Fast forward to some time later, when I was mingling with other band kids. I thought it’d be fun to join in the frenzy of various pieces being played simultaneously, but I didn’t want to move away from the group to sit down. I thought it would be pretty awkward.

After being sure I wasn’t going to cause any major damage to myself or my instrument, I challenged myself to attempt playing some music on my concert tuba while standing up. I didn’t do this often, so I thought it’d be a fun time to try.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, just as I lifted the tuba upwards, I noticed something in the eastern corner of my gaze; A pair of eyes I knew all too well were already placed on me before I had even begun getting set. My gaze flickered in the observer’s direction for less than a second.

To my surprise, since nobody was talking to him, W decided to focus on me. He was leaning forward on the table he was sat at, with his chin cupped comfortably by his right hand. He watched me with pure curiosity and interest.

I did my best not to look at him outside of my peripheral vision after that to avoid potentially interrupting his thoughts. I also didn’t want to mess up whatever music I had out either since he was listening in on it.

He observed me with this same look on his face until he shot up in his seat and looked forward. I assume there was a person who was approaching him.

Can’t help but wonder why he decided to look at me...and how long he would have been tuning into my mediocre tuba skills if someone hadn’t walked over.

~~

A student was interested in hearing me play the tuba, so I did just that. I believe I played around 6-8 measures of my solo. Despite some minor blips due to a sticking valve, I guess I did pretty decent.

I smiled sheepishly and set my tuba down after my mini performance. A subtle applause rose from the kid’s family, accompanied by a louder clapping to the right of me, which I didn’t quite acknowledge until a voice spoke up.

“Thanks Dad!!” W spoke in a slightly condescending tone while grinning from ear to ear. The sound of his loud voice startled me and I zipped my head over to him. “Wha(ha)t?” I spoke in between some surprised chuckles.

“Your Dad’s clapping...like—” He mimicked a very enthusiastic and very expressive clap for a moment before slapping his knees, leaning forward, and letting out one of his signature loud, giggly laughs. I looked at my father and we laughed along with W for a few seconds more.

After writing this, I’m just now realizing that W must have been paying pretty good attention to me and the situation I was in. I would have never noticed this if he hadn’t spoke up. Wow, haha, that’s pretty cool! (My father decided a volunteer here for a little while in case some people were curious. ^^)

~~

Not as much people wanted to hear the tuba as I thought, so I had some free time on my hands. We were told that we could no longer play out of turn since we were being too loud, so I decided to try to talk to W a little bit while I still could. I watched as he wished the last person currently in line a good day, then I began to walk over to him. As I made my way closer, he lifted his head pretty quickly, and his concentration locked on me. Judging by his serious expression, he may have thought I had an important question to ask him. That threw me off a little bit, and I got nervous.

“What’s up?” He asked.

“Uh,” I started, “How‘s the thing going?” By ‘the thing’, I was referring to his job of checking people out of the school. I internally facepalmed at my phrasing.

“Good!” He turned to his computer and hesitated. “Actually, I have a favor to ask you..” I watched as he slouched down a little bit on the desk before popping back up to look at me.

W asked me if I could go ahead and get the directors’ lunch out before the kids got theirs, just in case it all ran out quickly. He then counted the directors for me and forgot to include himself, which we laughed together at after I pointed it out. I went to go grab the packages after the conversation ended.

The whole way to the band hall, where everything was located, I swam through my thoughts. I was grateful that he thought I was good enough to be trusted with keeping track of who got what, food-wise. I’m glad I could help him with that.

After a bit of explaining to some of the students why I was handling the food before lunch and taking multiple portions of it, I was off and giving everything out to the directors. M’s wife already went to get her own food somehow, and she seemed a little bit agitated when I asked if she already got her stuff.

I mean, I’d be pretty mad if someone interrupting my blissful munching moments too, so no shame there. I wonder if M messes with her while she eats sometimes. It seems like something he may do when he’s bored. Haha.

Anyway, I approached W with his stuff, but he was talking to someone, so I slowly came to a stop and just....stood there. Luckily, the guy mentioned I had W’s food, so he looked over. “Thanks R,” he smiled. “Is that all?” He looked at what remained in the bag. “Yep.” I told him that M’s wife had already gotten her stuff beforehand, and he nodded.

After I handed the items to him, he thanked me again. I acknowledged his thanks with a smile before letting him continue talking. A few minutes later, he began to eat.

Can I just point out that the way he eats is so...amusing? It’s like he pays no attention to those around him, instead focusing on engulfing the food in front of him with huge bites at a time. He leaves a mess too while doing this sometimes.

While he’s nomming the stuff down, he uses that time to scan the room with curious eyes. I assume it’s to see if anyone was looking at his Jurassic munching techniques.

Call me weird, but it was all so cute in a way. I had a very tough time directing my eyes off of him at first, but I forced myself to. He was looking near my direction anyway, and I didn’t want him to be like ‘??? R, why are you watching me eat?’. 😳 so yeah

~~

About an hour or so after this lunch incident, I was talking to M’s daughter and someone else. We were chatting casually about something related to our instruments. I just started getting into the conversation when I heard a loud voice call out my name.

“R.” W called from behind me. I perked up, shocked, and stopped talking as soon as his voice rang in my ears. The two people I was speaking to looked in his direction and I followed suit with their action, twisting my body backwards as quick as possible. “Come here.”

He stood there very still, facing me with a serious expression, and I was quite intimidated by this. There was nobody inside a 7-foot radius of him, which further intensified the situation for me. Within another heartbeat, butterflies were swirling in my stomach. I turned back to the two girls and apologized before walking over to see what was up.

I stopped just shy of an arm’s length away from him and met his strong gaze with a face that silently urged him to go on. “I’m going to go to the restroom,” he told me, dipping his upper torso and head down to make his look appear more firm. I responded by lifting my chin up and looking down at him with the same amount of seriousness.

“I need you to stay here and watch. If anyone comes, tell them to wait for me, okay?” He had a hint of a pleading tone in his voice that I couldn’t ignore. “Got it.” I told him. “Sorry!!” He exclaimed in a high-pitched whisper to me as he ran off to the other room. “Not a problem!” I yelled back.

I watched him dash out of the cafeteria doors and halt to a walking pace while he exchanged a couple words with the check-in volunteers. I stopped watching him when he began to walk towards the males’ bathroom again.

I was, again, honored that W trusted me enough to handle something like that. Even if it was a small task like the one he asked from me earlier on, he could have had anyone else do it, but he decided I was reliable enough to. I thought that was pretty cool.

Anyway, I stood there for a bit and noticed a phone faced down on the table. I assumed immediately that it was his, and I observed its beautiful casing. It was decorated with a light gray and white array of lines that sort of gave me a forest vibe.

I never expected something as toned down and serene as this was from him, especially with his crazy energetic attitude I know him from, but it was a very nice sight. I didn’t stare at his phone any further in case anyone thought I was going to snoop or something weird like that.

A family came up and I told them that W would be back in a bit. We chatted for a little while about some band-related stuff until W speed-walked back in. I ended our conversation abruptly before looking at him.

“Thank you so much for your help, R.” He told me sincerely while I stepped out of his way. I didn’t pay attention in the moment to how close we were, but it was definitely very close, somehow still barely avoiding contact. “Sure!” I beamed joyously as my gaze lingered.

“Your phone was going off for twenty minutes,” he told me before he sat back down in his chair. My face widened. “I was??” I paused. “I mean, it was??” He didn’t respond to my slightly panicking tone. Instead, he sat still where he was silently, staring at the person I was just talking to.

“Sorry,” I lightly apologized before heading back to where I had my stuff set up. I checked my notifications didn’t see anything new, so I was pretty confused. Maybe he was trying to get me to go away or something, hence the effort on his face to not respond. 😳

~~

The last thing here was just me wishing him a good weekend, and him saying “thank you for helping“, with me thanking him back afterwards.

Overall, this day was great. My arms are so sore from hauling the extra instrument cases around(the tuba cases for newcomers are unbelievably heavier than my current one), but the moments I shared with W and the band made it so worth it. ^^

Hope everyone’s having a great weekend and staying safe.

#W #M #(sorta) #teacher crush #teacher crush community #tc community #tc #tcc #tc blog #tcc blog #teacher crush blog #teacher love #tc ramblings #tc story #teacher x student #male teacher x female student #personal #You’re so pretty #I’m so glad you can trust me #I love you lots #❤️

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

Costume Party

A/N: This is the third of the prompts that @badsext gave me, and I am very thrilled to get them out there, and see what people think. It’s going to be a Nathan x reader one, and it’ll be very spooky, I’m very happy to be writing this. I’ll also be posting two fics a week, starting with Feather Boas, so be prepared. Hope yous all enjoy!

Warnings: suggestive behavior, (nothing steamy, just nathan being himself, i have a friendship to maintain lol), mention of alcohol, cursing, insecurities

“Nathan, what the hell am I supposed to wear to Alisha’s costume party?” you yell from across your apartment, shared as of September. 

“You know, you could just wear nothin’, that’d be a show, wouldn’t it?” he said, walking behind you.

“I’d like to actually have fun at the party, not be cold, thank you very much.” you said, kissing his cheek, and turning back around to your closet, trying to wrack your brain with anything. You were seriously thinking of just wearing a sheet and being a ghost, but Nathan offered to take you to Spirit Halloween. You obliged, and he drove you two over to the store, slightly baffled by the front decorations.

“Alrighty, here I go. Watch me come out 3 hours later with just candy.” you thought to yourself, putting your hands in your pockets and walking through the automatic doors, Nathan in tow.

  Everything in the store was typical Halloween style. Fake spiders, fake cobwebs, skeletons, ghosts, the whole shabang. However you’d gotten your Halloween decor sorted way earlier in the month. You made sure that everything was in place, and that the candles were all facing in the correct direction (something you were particularly persnickety about). The two of you floated towards the back of the store, occasionally picking up something here and there. You had to drag Nathan away from the candy aisle, as he was just a hair away from starting to steal the full size Three Musketeers they stacked on top of each other. You were presented with a sexy ghost, a sexy nurse, and honestly just stereotypical female wear, and you were fed up. After looking at a whip that adorned one of the costumes, you walked straight to the other side of the store, where Nathan was looking at over-muscled costumes.

“It makes me feel like I’m too little to get into this shit. I know I’m a little muscly, but not like this. It makes me feel insecure.” Nathan said, folding his arms and looking towards you, eyes getting a bit teary. You’d never experienced him like this before. He was trying to be the funny, quirky person people expected him to be all the time.

“It’s alright to feel like that. Society puts pressure on all of us to fit into this box. You do have quite a lot of slack on said pressure, but you still do suffer. I like that you’re tiny. You’re also tall, it adds character to you, and I love it. I love you Nathan, that’s never going to change. No matter what you look like. Even if you cut your curls.” you say, hugging him, and kissing his shoulder. He smiled at the gesture, and offered something to you.

“You know what. How about you pick a costume from over here, and I pick a costume from over there in the lady’s section. We’ll look badass.” Nathan says, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

  You giggle, and send him off to the other side of the store, where you vision him doing little voices and holding up different colored dresses to his form. You have bigger fish to fry though. The giant muscled superhero uniforms and stiff wigs were giving you nothing but anxiety. Your hands flipped through costume after costume, trying to find an appropriate one for your stature and size, finding it a bit hard as you were between a rock and a hard place trying to find what suited you best. Nothing as to where the inseam was too much, or if the shoulder pads were too intense. You were even thinking of trying to fit into some of the kids’ costumes just for the fun of it. Soon enough, though, you found out that Spirit Halloween was not going to cut it, and you knew just the place to hit up.

“Alright love, what’ve you found in this hellscape of a clothing section?” Nathan asked you, walking over while holding a bag with a costume, and from what you could see, a lot of shiny candy wrappers.

“I won’t be buying from here, but I know what I’m gonna do for the costume. Don’t worry, I’m still sticking with the “opposite gender thing” even though there’s waaayyy more than two genders.” you state, walking out of the store with a pep in your step, excited to finally do something you’d like to do, rather than what’s expected. 

  Nathan followed after you like a lost puppy, thrilled at what you were planning, but also because he had to go for a wee, and his bladder wasn’t treating him too well. As soon as the two of you got home, Nathan of course threw his bag on the bed, and bolted to the restroom, and you once more opened your closet, with a plan this time, throwing different artifacts onto the bed, and turning on some rock tunes. You two had 7 hours tops until the party started, and that gave you just enough time to get everything together. Nathan, poor soul, wasn’t allowed to see it, you even were having Simon pick him up from your house so that you could surprise him.

“Alright babe, I’m heading off with Simon, you sure you don’t want me to see you before I go?” he yelled through the door, and you yelled back a no, and finished up the final stitches.

“Now this is what I call a job well done.” you say, looking back at your work, and you quickly shower and do your hair, putting your outfit on, and almost forgetting your keys in your excited nature.

  When you got to the Community Center, who allowed Alisha to rent for the Halloween night, was already filled to the brim with people. Cars were parked all over the place, and toilet paper was hanging from the trees in the area. You looked in the car mirror once more, right before you stepped out onto the concrete walkway, and opened the door wide for yourself, as you were one of the last people to arrive. The music was blaringly loud, and you went directly to Nathan, and you were quite surprised at his costume choice for the night as well. He decorated himself in an almost skin tight shirt, his chest very visible to your eyes. He wore a cute pleated skirt, floor-length, and of course, as it was Nathan, he put on random cat ears, and he was waiting with Simon, presumably for you. As soon as you came into view, he almost dropped his drink, most likely alcohol. He stood up, and you gave a little spin, the lapels of the suit flashing in the colored lights.

“My god, I didn’t know that my girlfriend had this much sexy potential in her. Where did you find this getup, love?” Nathan asked you, taking your hand in his arm around your waist. Even though he towered over you, you enjoyed having that slight switch of power in the relationship.

“My closet has a lot of wonders, it’s hidden so many skeletons, it had to be interesting.” you joked, sitting down, not caring to cross your legs.

  Your outfit screamed “Yes, I wear the pants, but never a bra”. A beautiful plum suit, cinched at the waist, and the pants were boyfriend fit, beautifully framing your shape. You wore a white satin camisole, skinny black tie crossed on your neck, the ends dangling over your chest. In classic fashion, you wore your black Chuck Taylors, for foot support. Nathan fawned over you, just baffled at the fact that you threw all of this together in such short notice. He took you over to the punch bowl, and was staring at you in absolute love and wonder. You laughed at him under your cup, and he was left confused, and asked why you were chuckling.

“You are whipped for me, and I can prove that, as you just can’t take your eyes off of me Nathan. It’s hilarious, as it’s rough to think someone could love me sometimes.” you reply, taking a sip of the liquid in the Solo cup.

  You laughed at his shocked face, and a blush coated his pale cheeks. He stayed a bit quiet for the rest of the night, except when you offered to go out for ice cream, even go for a little late night trick or treating. He perked up, and the two of you grabbed your respective pillowcases, and went out until at least 3 in the morning, until the two of you collapsed on the floor of your bedroom, Twizzlers in hand.

Masterlist

#nathan young fluff #nathan young x reader #halloween fic #spooky

[chelseaheskett]

5:22PM, THURSDAY. JANUARY 30TH, 2020.

She hated the idea of Elliot having to do more work after a full day at the office, preparing to take his first solo case to court—but the box for Vanessa’s new bed frame, leaned against the wall in the twins room, was starting to create a safety hazard. Late in the week, when he got home from work, Chelsea greeted him with a kiss and a proposition. The babies were napping in the playpen downstairs, so it gave them the perfect window of opportunity to finally set it up. Well... Chelsea was there for moral support. Verbal encouragement! She was there to supervise. She couldn’t reach down and hand him any of his tools, or anything, so she relaxed into the rocking chair in the corner of the bedroom, sipping on a cool glass of lemonade. “Where are the coveralls!?” She whined when he came into the room and settled onto the floor. Much to her dismay, Elliot had stripped down to a loose white tank top and sweat pants. Chelsea wasn’t happy about it! No matter how good he looked otherwise! Sex fantasies aside, though, they had a job to do. 

Halfway through, when the bottom of the bed frame was all screwed together, Elliot got the best of her. She’d been distracting him the entire time with her running commentary: constantly telling him how good he looked, how much she loved him, how hot this whole thing was making her feel. She got down on the floor under the guise of offering him some assistance, but really it was just an excuse to get close and touch him. His skin was shiny with sweat, his hair was falling all over his face. The touching started out semi innocent. A hand on his back, at the base of his neck, on his bicep. Brushing the hair off his forehead. Kissing him on the cheek, just because she could. Trailing her mouth down to his throat, and kissing his sweet spot until he squirmed. Her hands started to stray, too, until Elliot dropped the screwdriver and construction on the bed momentarily halted. 

Chelsea had to let him finish putting the bed frame together all by his lonesome. A baby monitor went off a few minutes post-orgasm, and Chelsea went and tended to the kids with wobbly legs walking down the stairs. Fed them and started on dinner for her and Elliot while he worked. Took Vanessa to unveil her big girl bed after bath time. She climbed straight over the railing, instead of crawling through the appropriate opening, and squealed. Chelsea scoffed to hide her laughter. “Puppy dog!” Vanessa pointed to one printed on her bed sheets. She’d been a huge help in picking them out when they went shopping the previous weekend. Elliot had to tuck her in. Like Jack’s bed, it was too low to the ground for Chelsea and her pregnant belly. She was getting so big, thirty-two weeks along now, that it was hard to even hold Isaac, and lift him into his crib. Her little boy seemed happy in his cot. Didn’t care too much about Vanessa’s new bed, thank God. Chelsea cuddled him and said goodnight.

Somehow, but somehow not surprising, Elliot was strong enough to move Vanessa’s old crib into their bedroom all by himself. Chelsea kept forgetting about it, and practically tripped over it multiple times in the middle of the night on her way to the toilet. The baby was constantly putting hard pressure on her bladder, and flaring up bursts of pain in her abdomen on and off all night. Elliot must’ve fallen asleep before she did, for once. She felt utterly exhausted and like she’d gotten no sleep whatsoever by the time morning came and Elliot kissed her goodbye, like always, before leaving for work. “Mornin’.” Chelsea mumbled, stretching her arms out. Her bed hair was sticking up in all angles and he smoothed some of it down and out of her face. “Oh, I bet Isaac loved that.” She smiled, sleepy. Elliot kissed her temple and his lips lingered. Chelsea whinged and reached for his tie to pull him back into bed. He was running late. Right! He had court for his case today! “Okay, go, go! Good luck, honey. Not that you need it!” Tomorrow was the weekend—they could cuddle in bed as much as they wanted to then. She adjusted his tie with one eye open. “Okay, baby.” Every other Friday was always when custody week started with Jenny. Chelsea would just have to stack all the babies in the car and pick her up from school later on in the day. Elliot kissed her on the mouth this time. Chelsea sighed into it. “I love you, too! Bye, gorgeous!” She replied, calling out when the warmth of his body was gone and she could hear the bedroom door lightly close behind him. 

12:59PM, FRIDAY. JANUARY 31ST, 2020.

The day was meant to be uneventful. She hadn’t been to the grocery store in awhile, because she absolutely refused to shove all three toddlers into a single shopping cart. A week without her Mom’s help at home and being in constant pain because of the baby was really starting to suck. Donna had been trying to catch up all week, so they could finally talk about the elephant in the room, but Chelsea always had an excuse. Today, she thought she might use it to her advantage. Get it over and done with and get something out of it. She called her phone early morning and Christian answered it. Chelsea tried not to give her emotions away, and politely asked if she could speak to her Mom. Didn’t trade any more niceties, didn’t do small talk. When her Mom got on the other end of the phone, Chelsea simply asked if she could look after the kids for an hour while she went food shopping, and suggested they finally sit down and talk when she got home. Her Mom was eager. Agreed, and didn’t mention the fact that Christian was there, at her house, answering her phone. Disgusting. 

Chelsea shot Elliot through a message, knowing it’d probably take a while to get a response when he had court. She got a reply a little while later, but by that point her phone was in her back pocket, and she was stuck in the kitchen arguing with her Mom. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want him anywhere near me or my family! Period!” Chelsea spun around, dropping the dishes from lunch into the sink. “You know what, Mom? Do whatever the hell you want! You’ve obviously made up your mind if he’s sleeping over at your house.” Chelsea pulled a face, clearly repulsed. 

“Watch how you talk to me, Chelsea.” Donna retorted, like she was still a little girl and not a full grown ass adult. Sure, maybe Chelsea was acting a little bit like a brat, or a child throwing a tantrum, but... this wasn’t okay! How was she meant to just sit still and take this? She refused to accept this. Nope. It wasn’t happening. 

“What do you want me to say, Mom? Do you want me to just lie and say that I’m happy for you? Because I’m not! I’m not happy! I’m fucking furious!” Chelsea cussed. Ignored the literal swear jar, half-stuffed with dollar bills, only a small distance away from her on the kitchen counter. “And the fact that you can’t understand why makes it even worse!” Chelsea’s voice was going hoarse. “Put yourself in my shoes for... for just a second, okay? Your boyfriend assaulted me, he assaulted my husband—”

Donna cut her off. “I know that! I know! I’m not completely blinded by love that—”

“Love?” It knocked the wind out of her entire body. Chelsea squinted at her mother. “This has to be some sort of sick, twisted joke! How can you love him after what he did to me? I’m your child, for God’s sake!” The tears prickled her eyes. 

Her mother took a step forward, almost pleading with her. Chelsea was grateful that they had the kitchen island keeping them apart. “People make mistakes, honey—”

“What, like Elliot?” Chelsea spat, recounting their argument last week. “You might be all about forgiveness, Mom, but trust me when I say that I will never forgive you for throwing that in my face.” She tried her best to keep her voice even and strong. Spoke with conviction.

“You never even let me finish what I was trying to say last week! Stop being so stubborn and listen to me! Please!” 

“No, you listen! As long as you’re seeing Christian, I don’t wanna see you. You can come here, you can see the kids, because they love you and they miss you, but... but that’s it. I’ll be nice, I’ll be polite, but you and me? We don’t have a relationship anymore. I’m done!”

Donna started crying before Chelsea did. “Chels, please—”

“Whatever, I... I’m leaving. I’m going to the store. I can’t even look at you right now.” Chelsea grabbed a tea towel and wiped the soap off her hands. Dramatically threw it onto the counter and started off to leave the room.

“Don’t you dare walk out on me, Chelsea Grace!”

“Yeah? Watch me.” She called over her shoulder. Hastily grabbed her purse and keys from the table in the entryway and slammed the front door behind her. It was loud enough to possibly wake up one or all of the babies from their afternoon nap, but that was her Mom’s problem now. Chelsea waddled to her car, hands gripping her swollen stomach, and slammed that door open and closed, too. Turned the A/C on full blast, to give herself some air. Get her breathing back under control. She drove around the corner from the house to sit and park the car there. Just until she could calm down long enough to make the short drive to the grocery store. 

After a few minutes of meditative breathing, and stroking her stomach, Chelsea’s phone buzzed with a message. She was surprised when MY BABY 💞 💖💕 flashed on the screen; fully expecting her mother to be bombarding her with notifications after their argument. Chelsea opened the text, quickly scanned over the message. She was too keyed up to reply. Locked her phone and dropped it into her cup holder, leaving Elliot unanswered. For now, at least. She shifted gears and started to drive. Blasted the radio, so she didn’t have to think. Repeated eggs, over and over under her breath, so she wouldn’t forget.

Grocery shopping was nice. Distracting. She got a couple cereal boxes of cinnamon toast crunch for Jenny. Filled a cart to the brim with food and fruit and diapers. Got supplies so she could make them enchiladas for dinner. Chelsea’s feet were sore and swollen. She’d only been walking around for half an hour, tops, and she was already exhausted. She arched her back and stretched, feeling achey all over. The baby was misbehaving. She was almost at the checkout with her shopping cart when she remembered eggs. Huffing, she rolled her cart down a couple more aisles until she found them. She reached up to grab a carton and toss it into her cart. 

She felt the pressure build up in her abdomen. It built until she could feel it pop, and then release, and fluid started to trickle down between her thighs. “Shit!” Chelsea cursed. She fumbled and the carton of eggs splattered on the floor, all yolk and eggshells and amniotic fluid. She was wearing a dress, so the water dripped right down her legs and pooled at her feet. Soaked her sneakers. The fluid was blood-tinged, from what she could see past the cracked eggs. “Oh God, oh no.” She gripped the handlebars of the shopping cart, breath accelerating. It was gushing out of her, without any signs of stopping.

“Hey, are you alright?” One of the grocers approached, wearing a uniform and carrying a yellow caution cone, ready to clean up her mess.

Chelsea was hunched over, one hand white-knuckling the bars on the cart and the other cradling her stomach, as if she could hold herself together. As if she had the power to stop this from happening. “I think my—my water just broke, but I... I’m not ready. It’s too early.” Chelsea said, voice shrill, breath ragged. 

The guy looked like he was barely out of high school. His face went a little pale. “I... I’ll...” He stammered. “I’ll call 911.” He pulled a cellphone out of his back pocket. Someone else walked over; another shopper, Chelsea assumed. An older woman. A stranger with kind eyes. She started rubbing her back for some comfort. “Is there anyone I can call for you, darling?” The nice lady asked, pressing circles into her skin. 

“My husband. He’s in court right now, he’s—he’s a defense attorney, I—” Just to clarify, so the woman didn’t get the wrong idea. Chelsea sifted through her purse to retrieve her phone. 

“An ambulance is on the way.” The kid said, still looking alarmed.

Elliot’s number was at the top of her favourites list. Next to her Mom, and Macy, and Caleb, and Amy, and Lola. Chelsea thumbed over his contact info to call him. It went straight to voicemail. “His phone must be off.” Chelsea cried, raking a hand through her hair. She tried again, for good measure. And again. And again. Nothing. “I’m only thirty-two weeks along, I can’t—I can’t be doing this.” The lady hushed her, told her to breathe, guided her through it. Chelsea was trying her hardest not to keep track of the amount of blood in the fluid on the floor. The grocer left and came back with another caution sign. People around them stared, looked concerned. Tears were streaming down her face, and fluid was still dripping down her legs. “Please, God.” Chelsea prayed through a sob. 

Her first contraction came when the paramedics loaded her up into the back of the ambulance. She gritted her teeth and cried out in agony. Fisted the sheet on the gurney. “Is he gonna be okay? It’s too early. It’s too early!” Chelsea rushed through asking when the pain finally passed. One of the paramedics stayed in the back with her, hooking her up to machines and checking her vitals, while the other one drove. No sirens, Chelsea noticed. The paramedic reassured her. Asked her some questions: if this was her first pregnancy, if she’d ever had complications like this before. Asked about the gestational diabetes. Asked if they could call someone else for her, since Elliot still wasn’t answering his phone. The paramedic took hold of Chelsea’s phone and dialled through to her Mom. 

The woman quickly explained the situation to Donna over the phone. Chelsea could hear Isaac crying in the background, even with the receiver covered. After a minute, the paramedic put the phone on loud speaker. “Chelsea, honey, are you okay? What can I do?” 

“I need... I need you to get a hold of Elliot. Please. I don’t know how, I just...” Chelsea’s mouth was dry. “He’s in court, he’s with Macy. Call Amy, or something, I don’t know. Get word to him somehow, please. Please.” She was still panicked. “I can’t do this! Not now.” She cried some more. “Mom, I’m scared.” 

“I know, honey. I know. It’s going to be okay. Let me go so I can get in touch with him, or someone at the courthouse. You and bub are gonna be fine, okay?” Chelsea nodded, even if her mother couldn’t see it. “I’ll see you soon, hon.” Donna hung up. Chelsea didn’t get a chance to say anything else. Not a goodbye, nothing. She shoved her phone back into her bag. Braced herself for her next contraction.

They stuck her into a birthing suite as soon as they arrived at the hospital. A nurse helped her out of her wet clothes and got her into a hospital gown. Slowly walked her over to the bed and got her to sit down, propped up by some pillows. Chelsea kept her phone close, squeezed inside her palm in case Elliot called. Or her Mom. The OB/GYN on call came in to examine her. Left Chelsea crying for a minute or two to discuss something with a nurse or a midwife or whoever holding a tablet in the corner of the room. “She was here, what? Christmas Eve? Who was on that night? They should’ve picked this up.” The doctor said, hushed and frustrated. “Oh, Johnson? Figures.” Chelsea pretended like she wasn’t listening in on their conversation, but a spike in her heart monitor gave her away. The doctor, Dr. Hernandez, typed some notes onto the tablet before coming back over to sit between Chelsea’s legs. 

“So, Chelsea, you’ve got what’s called an incompetent cervix. Or cervical insufficiency—not that it sounds much better, as a term, but... what that means is that your cervix has already begun to shorten... dilate pre-term.” Dr. Hernandez said, sympathy showing on her face as she explained. Chelsea whimpered. Scrunched up her face, completely confused and trying to control her reactions to the pain she was feeling. “Basically your cervix isn’t strong enough to withstand the weight of the baby. Most likely brought on by the fact that your previous pregnancy was carrying twins.” She continued. “And even though you’re only thirty-two weeks along, he’s a big boy. Top percentile, I saw in your notes.” She smiled, as if this was meant to be comforting. “So it makes sense that this has happened. I’m sorry this wasn’t picked up on sooner. You’ve been regularly attending all of your appointments?”

Chelsea nodded around a sob. “Can you—can you fix it?” She pleaded.

“Normally, if detected early, yes. But with your membranes already having been ruptured—with your water already broken, it’s not safe. There’s risk of infection for you and the baby if we don’t get him out soon. And you’re already dilated a couple centimetres. So we’ll monitor you for the next couple of hours and see how things progress.” 

Chelsea’s breathing was laboured. “No, I can’t. I can’t. I can’t have this baby now. I can’t.” She shook her head. “I can’t do this. I can’t—I need my husband. I can’t do this without him. I need him here.” She rambled through her tears, frantic. “I don’t wanna do this.” Like she had any other choice, at this point. 

“You’re still a few hours off, in my opinion. He should get here before the baby comes.” The doctor reassured her. Lightly patted her forearm. “You won’t be alone. I’ll be here every step of the way.” Chelsea cried harder, because it wasn’t the same. Her Mom had been there for Jack. Her Mom and Elliot had been there for the twins. Now she was virtually alone. No family, no support. She’d practically disowned her mother a couple of hours ago, anyway! Chelsea was starting to hiccup, she was crying so heavily. “What’s your pain level at?” Dr. Hernandez asked. Chelsea simply shrugged, trying her best to calm herself down. “You’re highly distressed right now, Chelsea. I’m going to suggest that I give you a sedative, and something else to numb some of the labour pains. Is that okay?” Chelsea nodded, head dipped back into the pillows, eyes closed. Willing this not to happen, willing it all to be over.

Exhaustion set in. Everything felt fuzzy, because of the drugs. She kept her phone balanced on her chest, waiting for some sort of update from someone. Her Mom, or Elliot, or anybody. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been waiting. How many contractions she’d cried through, all on her own. She was all alone. Her head swimming, like she was drunk. She had to fight to keep her eyes open. The doctor hadn’t been back in awhile. Chelsea had to wonder if anybody, hospital staff or not, would come to check up on her. If anybody cared, at this point. She felt about ready to fade away. 

One of the monitors started rapidly beeping. Chelsea struggled to lift her head off her pillow in time for one of the nurses to run in. “Code pink!” She shouted out into the hallway. Pushed a button on the wall, and the speakers overhead repeated her phrase: CODE PINK, BED 13. CODE PINK.

“What’s happening?” Chelsea mumbled. Tried to prop herself up on her elbows, but the nurse forced her back down. Adjusted the gurney so it was flat, so Chelsea was completely lying down. Pulled the railings up, ready for transport. A team of doctors rushed into the room. She hadn’t seen any of them before. They started wheeling her out of the birthing suite. Dr. Hernandez was suddenly there by Chelsea’s side, hands gripping around the bed railing to help push her to their next destination.

“Okay, Chelsea. The baby’s heart rate dropped dangerously low, so we’re taking you in for an emergency c-section now. We’re gonna get this little guy out, safe and happy. Okay? Do you understand?” She was too doped up on drugs to properly respond. Kind of nodded. Felt too numb and exhausted to fully understand the weight of what the doctor was saying. Dangerously low, thirty-two weeks along, emergency c-section. Safe and happy. The baby would be safe and happy. Everything would be okay. Okay. She understood. “We’re gonna put you under general anaesthesia. We need to hurry—to make sure the baby is doing okay.” The doctor continued to explain.

It happened pretty fast once they got inside the operating room. They transferred her from the bed onto the table. Roped her off from the chest down, so she couldn’t see anything. The anaesthesiologist got her mask ready, holding it by her face. Dr. Hernandez paid her a visit one final time. “You ready to meet your son?” She asked, hopeful and optimistic. 

“His name is Luca.” Chelsea said, groggy. “Luca Elliot.”

They made her count. Count down to blacking out, with the mask finally covering her face. Chelsea didn’t want to count. For once, she didn’t. Her eyes fluttered shut, trying to fight it. Still trying to stop this from happening. Wanting it to be Elliot’s face hovering over her, not some nameless doctor. Not anybody else. No numbers, only Elliot. In her daze, she tried to picture him. The lines around his mouth and his eyes when he smiled. Only Elliot. Chelsea sucked in her last breath, until everything faded and disappeared around her. Until everything emptied out and there was nothing but darkness. 

“Mr. Holt.” The doctor called out, grabbing Elliot’s attention. Still in her scrubs. Now that it was all over and done with, she could explain it to him properly. The man stood from his waiting room chair, expectant. Frantic. 

“During the c-section, your wife’s bladder was lacerated—which isn’t something unheard of happening during these types of emergency abdominal procedures. She lost a lot of blood, so we had to keep her under anaesthesia and prolong surgery to make the appropriate repairs. Do a blood transfusion. Her bladder is fixed, but she’ll have to use a foley catheter for a few weeks. They’re wheeling her into recovery now. You should be able to see her in a little while.” Dr. Hernandez smiled, polite and professional. 

Her gaze drifted to, who she assumed was, Chelsea’s mother. They had the same face. The woman was pushing a stroller back and forth in a steady rhythm with her foot. “There was, however, another complication during the reparative surgery. Cardiac issues run in the family?” She remembered what it said on the family medical history in Chelsea’s chart. “Midway through surgery, Chelsea's heart gave out. She flatlined. We lost her for a few moments, but managed to revive her. She’s stable now, thankfully, and we’ll be closely monitoring her and her heart over the coming days. Our best cardiologist is on it.” If that was any comfort. It couldn’t’ve been easy news to digest. It never was.

A nurse walked past and Dr. Hernandez stopped her in her tracks by catching her arm. “Hey, would you please show Mr. Holt here to the NICU?” She asked. Looked at Elliot. “You should be able to see your son, now.” Smiled, again. “I’ll have someone come get you when your wife is out of recovery and ready to have visitors.” The doctor squeezed his arm before turning to leave, ducking back into recovery to tend to his wife. 

#elliot #elliot 23 #interaction

[until-theend-oftheline]

Pumpkins

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Squares Filled: Buying Flowers for No Reason @marvelfluffbingo​ 

Warnings: Pumpkins (but human and the actual ones) - Seb’s also kind of a warning but the best kind.   

Word Count: 2000ish

A/N:  This is part of my LLL Universe. It takes place about a week before Halloween 2019 but it can also as always be read as a one-shot.

Betaed by: the amazing @blacktithe7​ - thanks for helping out on short notice hon!

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You hadn’t been overly happy about all the meetings you had today, but the tour for “This Is Us” and your solo album didn’t plan itself. Your managers and every other person involved were busy too, so today had to be the day, even if it had been one of the last days Sebastian had home before traveling back and forth between Atlanta and New York began. That was life though, and luckily it was all over and done with now. You were just looking forward to spending the night with your family. 

You drew a sigh of relief when you walked through the door, closing your eyes as the feel and smell of home hit you. You slowly opened your eyes, and a smile spread across your face as you saw the huge bucket of flowers standing on the buffet cabinet in the hallway. It wasn’t unlike Sebastian to surprise you with something, but flowers were rare for some reason. You took a few steps forward to admire and smell them, and your smile only grew as you saw the card attached in the middle. You quickly snatched it and read it, smiling so hard that your cheeks hurt.

True love is friendship set on fire. 

Yours always and forever 

-Seb

Just like that, with a few simple words, the stress of the day washed off you completely, and nothing but pure happiness filled your chest. He always seemed to know exactly what you needed before you did. He was your best friend, and your heart truly was blazing with the love you felt for him now and every day. 

You lifted up the flowers gently, carrying them with you into the living room where you could really enjoy them. You smiled as you heard the laughter spreading through the house from the kitchen. You quickly set down the flowers, smelling them again and smiling before turning around to join your family in whatever they were doing to your kitchen.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw them. You were expecting a mess. Sebastian wasn’t a world-class chef, but he made do in the kitchen. When he was joined by the kids, he lost his focus fast, and that showed more in the mess around them than it affected how much fun the kids were having or the general state of the food. You were fine with the occasional mess. You know the kids loved spending time with their daddy, and Sebastian was an amazing father. Which was more important than the momentarily suffering of your poor kitchen. 

You hadn’t expected no food being prepared though, and you certainly hadn’t expected everyone and everything to be orange. You didn’t say anything, and no one saw you. You just stood there with your mouth gaping open before shaking your head and smiling. You leaned against the doorway to watch your little family a moment longer. 

The floor, counters, and table were completely covered in pumpkin goo. Sebastian had goo in his hair and on his pants as he patiently helped Isabella carve out the drawing she had painted on her pumpkin, while she was babbling in his ear about the next drawing she was making in a smaller pumpkin. Her white dress was now more orange than white, and she had black marker on her cheek and pumpkin caught in her hair just like her dad. 

Alex was sitting on the table next to Sebastian. The little boy had a very gleeful look on his face as he was digging out the goo from a third or fourth or fifth pumpkin. The longer you looked, the more you lost count. Sebastian had clearly taken the kids shopping and hadn’t been able to say no when they went overboard. He had happily gotten the kids what you, this far, counted to be ten pumpkins, keeping the smile on their faces. He was a bit of a pushover at times, but the kids loved him. They were having fun, which was the most important thing. It wasn’t like you were going bankrupt from a few extra pumpkins, and you did have three balconies to put them on; so what the hell right?  

“Not on the floor, Monkey,” Sebastian attempted to keep some order to the chaos when Alex pushed the mountain of goo out of his way and onto the floor next to Seb and the chair Isabella was standing on. 

The warmth as you watched your family grew. As much as you wanted to jump in several times you were happy just watching from the sidelines as well. The love between your favorite three people in the world was more than evident, and you couldn’t get enough of seeing them together like this, making memories that would last a lifetime. It wasn’t until Alex pushed the goo onto the floor and Sebastian’s failed attempt at control the warm grew into a bubbling fire in your chest and you couldn’t help but giggle. All three of them quickly looked up and turning their heads to look at you walking up to them. 

“I think that ship sailed about three pumpkins ago,” you teased, making Sebastian rolled his eyes, understanding your joke even if the kids didn’t.  

“Mommy look,” Alex held up his small fists filled with pumpkin goo, before letting it splatter onto the table. Sebastian and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“You’re very good at that, Monkey,” you giggled, kissing his chubby cheek, tasting the pumpkin and wrinkling your nose a little before turning your attention to Isabella. 

“Mommy look. I drew the one Daddy is carving, and Alex drew that one,” she pointed before jumping off the chair and taking your hand. “Daddy’s is really good though. Look, it’s a spider.” She said sounded impressed. You could see why too, Sebastian was quite the artist when he wanted to be. 

“They are all amazing, Isa.” You knelt down next to her letting her hug you, not caring you would soon be as orange as your little family. “I can’t wait to see them out on the balcony with lights in them. It’s gonna look amazing honey.”

“I think so too,” Isabella beamed giving you a kiss before crawling back onto the chair next to her dad. 

“Did you guys save me a pumpkin?” you asked, wrapping your arms around Seb’s middle from behind and resting your head against his arm, peeking around him. 

He smiled sheepishly, looking down at you. “There are still about eight in the bag over there,” he nodded towards the kitchen counter, and you threw your head back laughing. 

“We went a little overboard,” he admitted, as you shook your head, kissing his cheek.

“Only a little?” you teased as you went to pick out your own pumpkin and joining your son in making a mess emptying it. 

The four of you stayed in the kitchen for the next two hours. Laughing, making a mess, cutting and drawing until there were no more pumpkins but the two very alive ones on your tabletop.

“Right. Who wants pizza for dinner?” Sebastian asked with a grin, looking around the kitchen. He must have realized if the two of you had to clean it before starting dinner and then eating, it would be close to midnight before the kiddos got to bed. Pizza would spare you from having to cook, and it wouldn’t matter if cleaning the kitchen was all done before or after the kids were in bed. You could start now but finish later. 

“Meeeee,” Alex and Isa both bounced off the table and were dancing around their laughing dad, while you looked on with a smile. Your eyes meet Sebastian’s and you mouthed an “I love you” to him that made him beam just as brightly as your children. 

“Okay. Pizza after bathtime,” Sebastian ordered, making Alex whine loudly, but Isabella just grabbed his hand to get his attention. 

“We can have a bath together and you can play with my fish if you want?” she suggested, and Alex stopped crying as quickly as he had begun. He loved Isabella’s fish but more than that he loved spending time with his big sister. 

Isabella sent her dad a proud smile when he ruffled her hair. 

“Good girl.”

“We’ll get ready. If you fill the tub and give us the towels when we call, I can help Alex and you and mom can clean the kitchen,” Isabella announced, causing both your and Sebastian's jaws to drop without her realizing it. The little girl just skipped ahead of her brother, with his hand still in hers, as they talked about the games they were gonna play with her fishies. 

“Okay she is growing up way too fast,” Sebastian grumbled when they were out of earshot, making you laugh and wrap your arms around him from the side. He quickly pulled you in front of him and into a proper hug as you looked up at him with a soft smile. 

“She’ll always be your little girl,” you promised, smiling when you saw the pain in his eyes, and you knew he was already picturing her going off to college and getting married. 

“Seb. She’s five,” you laughed, giving his butt a squeeze, and he groaned playfully, dipping down to kiss you. 

He stopped just before your lips met, whispering, “six in a month. She is practically already grown up.” 

He smiled, swallowing your giggles with his kiss, not breaking it before Isabella’s voice sounded through the apartment. 

“Daddy! We’re ready soon. Come turn on the water please.”

“Well little miss gown up still can’t reach the faucet honey,” you teased, squealing when Sebastian pinched your butt in retaliation. 

“Smartass,” he grinned. “Did you like the flowers?”

“Oh you mean the bribe?” you teased. 

Sebastian’s face fell instantly and he started stammering. “It wasn’t… I mean we hadn't even bought the pumpkins when I….” he tried to explain, before you stopped him, gently cupping his face in your hands. 

“I know. I was just teasing. I’m sorry. I love them. And I’m keeping the card,” you assured him, and Sebastian lit up instantly, leaning in to give you a kiss. 

“I love you,” he said softly, rubbing his nose against yours as he pulled away. 

“I’ll love you always and forever too,” you smiled up at him. Before Sebastian could reply Isabella yelled again. 

“Daddy! Water!”

You threw your head back laughing, and Sebastian rolled his eyes lovingly. “Just as bossy as her mom,” he mumbled. He grinned and ducked out of the way of the projectile pumpkin goo that you threw his way with a laugh as he headed for the door. 

“I’ll order the pizza. You better be back here to help me clean up when I am done,” you warned playfully. 

Sebastian laughed, calling back to you on his way to the kids' bathroom, “Like I said. Bossy!”

You smiled as you went to get your phone, passing the flowers and Sebastian’s card on the way. He couldn’t have been more accurate. You were friends, best friends, and you always would be. He was the one you wanted to share the good and the bad with. He was the one that could always make you laugh and feel like everything was going to be okay. He was always the most handsome man you’d ever met and the only guy to have ever earned and held your heart truly and safely. Your relationship was loving, teasing, and warm. He was the love of your life and the father of your two beautiful kids. Your version of love was most certainly friendship set on fire, and you didn’t want it any other way, nor did you want to share your life with anyone else. Sebastian was it for you, and you were living your happiest life with him. 

Reblogs spread my work and make me happy. Got a favorite part/line? Did something touch you? Do you relate in some way? Please tell me and make my day. 

Sebastian Stan Tag Team

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#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #lll

[calteahood]

How to Fall in Love {Calum Hood}

Rating: PG 13 (some swearing!)

Word Count: 9k

Author’s Note: Well, here it is! I’ve spent a while creating this and I’ve dealt with quite a bit lately, but it was finally time to post it. I hope you guys enjoy this, and any feedback would mean a lot to me! Enjoy xx

-

It starts with sex.

Sex and stupidity. 

At twenty years old, it's human nature to make stupid mistakes. Except this one would last a lifetime.

Iris read the little pink stick that showed all the signs of positive, even though she knew deep down she was pregnant no matter what the stick said. A period that late wouldn't lie. She was still in community college and working an unpaid internship at a studio closer to downtown LA. Most importantly, she wasn't married nor did she have a stable life. She was in a casual relationship, living in a cheap apartment, taking the bus to work or getting driven by Eddie.

And of course, there was Eddie himself. Iris and Eddie loved each other, that's why they were dating in the first place. But, they weren't in love. No, if they were then they wouldn't be so casual with their relationship. They enjoyed each other's company, worked well as friends in general, and liked loving each other during the nights. They were fine with the labels because they were actually dating, but they knew that someday they would marry other people. Eddie was a good man, graduated from college and even set Iris up with the internship. That's how they met; they both wanted to work in music. Eddie was already working, being 24 years old, almost 25. He was a sweetheart to set up the internship in the first place. Ever since then, they were connected.

Except now, the connection was going to become a lot more real, and neither of them were prepared.

Iris sighed and put the stick into a plastic sandwich bag, shoving it in her purse. She was already late for work. She meant to meet Eddie and her boss, Matt, at 10:30 in the morning, as a band was coming by to start producing their next record. She hadn't been working at the studio long enough to work with them, typically working for solo acts, and at the rate, she was running she would not be able to make a good impression on the band members, or her boss. She messaged Eddie, saying she would be a few minutes late due to an emergency, and got an Uber. Iris was thankful for financial aid; for being able to receive enough for school, rent, bills, groceries, and a bit extra for times like this.

She rushed into the building twenty minutes late, struggling to pull her unbrushed hair into a bun to look at least somewhat presentable. She pressed the elevator button for the seventh floor, preparing in her head what she would say to Eddie. He needed to know right away, and they needed to figure their shit out.

“Eddie, we need to talk— no!” Iris rehearsed. “Hey, I found out something… no, that's stupid. Eddie, I'm pregnant. No, too blunt, fuck—” Ding. Before she knew it, the elevator doors opened and she had to face the music. She would rather not have to face it in front of her boss and four musicians she's never met, but it had to be done and there was no time left.

Iris quickly walked into the studio room, opening the door to Eddie and Matt adjusting the sound, three men on the couches laughing, and the fourth man holding an acoustic guitar behind the glass. All eyes went to her, except for the man in the sound booth.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Matt teased. “Come and sit, we're just getting started. You can help me out over here.” But Eddie was already walking towards Iris, a look of worry on his face.

“Hey, love,” he quietly said, “are you okay? What was the emergency?”

Iris started to dig in her purse, finding the plastic bag with the stick and gripping it tightly, but not pulling it out yet. She turned to Matt. “I'm sorry I'm late, I had a bit of a medical emergency. Do you mind if I talk to Eddie privately, please? It'll only be a couple of minutes, I swear!”

Matt raised an eyebrow. He had a child of his own, and he remembers how only two years ago his wife was nervous and trying to tell him, “Hey, I'm pregnant!” He knew she was about to tell Eddie something that would change his life. He couldn't tell her no, even if she was late to work. He nodded. “Go ahead, but don't take too long!”

“You got it, boss!” She grabbed Eddie's hand with her free one and pulled him out into the hallway.

Instead of saying anything to her boyfriend, she pulled out the stick and placed it in his palm. Fuck it, might as well just put it all out there. “So, this is mine. The stick, I mean.”

Eddie's face was pale, eyes wide. “You're pregnant?” Iris nodded. “With an actual baby?” Eddie asked. Iris nodded once again, this time with a roll of her eyes.

She sighed. “I'm pregnant, Ed. I don't know what happened, if I missed a pill or the condom broke, but my period is late and I doubt the stick is wrong.”

This time, Eddie was the one nodding. “Well… fuck. What do we do?” he asked.

Iris shrugged, only knowing one option for the time being. “Well, first we need to book an appointment for an ultrasound. Figure out for an absolute fact that there's something growing in me, then we decide from there.”

Eddie was already grabbing his phone out, ready to book you an appointment for whatever doctor she needed. “We'll figure this out, love. We will.” He wrapped his free arm around her, the stick still tightly held in his fist, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I hope we do, Ed. I hope we do.”

•••

“So, you're about four weeks along. There are options, love.”

Iris gripped the steering wheel, offering to drive Eddie's car. She needed a distraction after that appointment, and a phone in her hand wasn't going to cut it. Honestly, she didn't know what she wanted to do. She was pro-choice, but she personally wouldn't terminate the pregnancy, so that was out. There was adoption of course, but Iris always wanted to be a mom, she just pictured it being later on in life. Could she really carry a baby for nine months only to give it away?

“I'm not sure…” Iris mumbled, staring at the road as she drove back to her place. “I think… I think we need to talk about us, Ed.”

“I know,” he murmured. “I… I know, love.”

“I have a question, and please answer honestly. You weren't ever planning on marrying me, right?” There it was, out in the open. She already knew his answer. Hell, it was the same as her own.

He shook his head. “No, I wasn't. I thought this was casual—”

“Well so did I,” Iris cut in.

Eddie sighed. “Calm down, love. There's a way to figure this out. If we break up, there are still options. My parent's co-parented me and I turned out fine! I'll always love you, and if we have this baby then I'm going to love it too, but that doesn't mean we have to be married with a white picket fence outside our house.”

Iris huffed, pulling into the parking lot for her building. As she put the car in park and unbuckled she turned to her boyfriend. “So this is it?”

Eddie chuckled, grabbing onto her hand. “With you? Never. I'm going to be a dad! You're going to be stuck with me forever.”

•••

Iris cursed the world for her morning sickness. Well, more so morning and afternoon and night sickness. She started her day with being bent over the toilet, throwing up. She was almost six weeks along now, and she wished time went by faster. Once again, she was rushing to get to work. It was Friday, thank goodness, and Matt was throwing a party to kick off the weekend and celebrate how the recording session with the band had been going.

Iris was nervous to be working with four, intimidating men, but she quickly found out they were nothing to be afraid of. When she found out 5 Seconds of Summer would be working with their studio her palms immediately got sweaty. They were an award-winning band, all tall and strong musicians. How could she not be sweaty? But, they turned out to be giant dorks and Iris was grateful. Plus, with her and Eddie officially on the “just friends” title (who are going to have a baby, no big deal) and her belly not big yet, she thought this would be the perfect time to flirt with the drummer.

Honestly, watching Ashton that day made her forget about the morning sickness from earlier in the day. His biceps straining the sleeves of his tee shirt, forehead covered in a thin sheet of sweat. He was a beast, and Iris was infatuated with the handsome man.

Until he walked into the party with a girl on his arm.

“He has a girlfriend?” Iris hissed as Eddie, who only laughed. Iris had a water bottle in her hand, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't think about chucking it at him.

Eddie took a sip from his cup. “I could've told you that! Plus, I'm hurt! Moving on that fast, I see?” Eddie then clutched at his heart as if his feelings were truly hurt.

If Iris had a penny for every time she rolled her eyes at the man, she'd have enough to pay for diapers for a whole month. “As if we weren't checking people out while we were together.”

“True. Aren't you lucky we have this baby to keep us bonded for life?”

This time, Iris actually swatted Eddie's chest. “Don't joke about that! Babies are serious.”

He laughed again. “We have time to prepare, Iris. Chill out.”

She was about to make a comment back, but Calum and Michael walked towards them with a smile on their faces. They pulled the two into a hug. “How're you guys doing tonight?” Michael asked.

“Great,” Eddie said, “and yourselves?”

The two musicians wore smiles, probably buzzed and having a fun time. “We’re good, man. Came over and saw that Iris needed a drink,” Calum replied. He bumped his elbow with hers and offered her his extra red cup as if he made the spare drink just to give to her. When he noticed both hers and Eddie’s eyes widen a bit, he took a step back. “What’s wrong? You don’t drink or somethin’?”

Before the awkward mess of a girl could think of a response, not wanting to even say the word pregnant around that many people, Eddie cut in. “She’s my DD for the night.” He threw an arm around her shoulders as she clutched her water bottle.

Calum’s shoulders fell, but he nodded in understanding despite the disappointment. “Alright, well we’ll leave you guys be.” With that, Calum turned and walked out to the backyard, Michael following behind him. “I thought they broke up? Or stopped hooking up, whatever it was?” Calum blabbered on while Michael took a sip of his drink, his gaze stopping at the pool where his girl was talking to her friends.

“You know,” Michael started, “they could just be close friends? You heard them tell Matt they weren’t dating anymore, had some stuff goin’ on. Doesn’t mean it was a bad breakup.”

“But his arm was—”

“Dude, we hug and hold each other’s girlfriends all the time! It doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with Ashton’s woman. They’re friends, that’s very clear. Just go up and talk to her, I’m sure she’d be interested in talking to you.”

Calum finished what was in his own cup before beginning to drink from the extra one he had made. “You’re right, Mike. I’ll talk to her.”

Michael patted him on the shoulder. “Good, and now if you’ll excuse me...” With that, he walked over to the pool, slinging his arm around his fiancee.

Calum looked down at his full cup, and with an annoyed sigh, he tossed it and his empty one away. His gaze stayed on Iris, watching as she spoke to one of the interns from the floor under hers at work. Calum couldn’t help but watch, really. He had thought Iris was drop dead gorgeous the moment she rushed into the studio just weeks ago. Finding out she was single was the best news he had heard all week. No offense to Eddie, but Calum wanted so desperately to invite Iris over for dinner and a movie or two on the couch before, hopefully, moving towards the bedroom. The party was supposed to be his shot; ask Iris out and show the pretty girl a good time! He just was not expecting to see Iris and Eddie so close, and it stung a bit.

He watched when Eddie finally disappeared from her side and he said fuck it. If he was going to ask her out, might as well do it now. The worst that could happen is she says no. He left the conversation with his roommate and Luke to make his way to Iris, who was grabbing more water from the kitchen. As he approached closer, he saw her bend over to grab a bottle from the bottom of the fridge, eyes almost glued to the curve of her ass. She stood back up, closing the door and turning to face the bassist.

“Fuck!” Iris gasped, hand moving to her chest, feeling her heart race. “You scared me!”

Calum chuckled, but his palms were sweaty due to nerves. I’m going to scare her off before I even have a chance. “Shit, I’m sorry. Just wanted to come and say hi.”

As her breathing settled, she let out a laugh. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you to be there. But, hi! Shit, I mean, what’s up?” Iris stumbled with her words, feeling her stomach begin to bubble. Her throat burned for a moment, but she tried to ignore the feeling she’d gotten used to over the weeks.

“Well, I just wanted to see if…” Calum cut off his sentence, seeing Iris’s face scrunch up in disgust as one hand held her stomach and the other covered her mouth.

“Fuck, sorry, excuse me!” Iris mumbled through her fingers before pushing past him and fast walking to the closest open restroom. She kicked the door closed, trying as fast as possible to kneel over the toilet. She used one hand to brace herself over the toilet seat and the other to hold her hair back.

She faintly heard the sound of the door opening. Then she felt warm hands wrap around her hair. She would have been scared shitless if it wasn’t for the faint voice telling her, “Woah woah, you’re okay.” As awkward as it was that Calum Hood, the man she didn’t know well, came to her rescue, she did not push him away as she continued throwing up.

Twenty minutes later she was swishing around mouth wash that she found in the cabinets and Calum was making sure the toilet seat was clean. Iris leaned down and spat out the mouth wash. “Thank you, Calum,” she whispered, her body still shaking from how sick she felt just minutes ago.

Calum shook his head. “Don’t mention it. As long as you’re feeling better.” He moved to the sink in order to wash his hands and Iris made room for him.

Finally looking up to see him, she groaned. He was handsome. Really handsome. But she was also really, definitely pregnant and she couldn’t get through talking to him without getting sick. She needed to come to terms with the fact that the party scene, chatting with beautiful men and having hookups could no longer be her world. “I am… I should probably get going.” She pulled out her phone, opening her Uber app.

Calum cocked an eyebrow, drying his hands off on his pants and turning to her. “I thought you were Eddie’s driver?” His head was spinning instantly. Was he lied to because Eddie didn’t want anyone talking to her? Or, did Eddie make that up because Iris was uncomfortable next to the bassist? Before he could say anything else, Iris spoke up, gaze still on her phone.

“He’s just got shit runnin’ out of his mouth. I don’t even have a car.”

Calum’s head snapped up from her phone to her face. “What?”

She looked at him, sighing. “He just didn’t want me drinking, that’s all.”

“Are you sick? Or—”

Iris confirmed her Uber, which said it would be there in ten minutes. “No,” she said. “I just… look, can I trust you?” Her question took him by surprise, but he nodded. “I’m serious, if Matt finds out I might lose my internship.” Again, he nodded. “I… so, you know Matt and I broke up, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said quickly.

“Well, we weren’t really in love, but we have this problem and… and he’s just being a protective friend.” Iris held her belly, fearing that telling someone would make her feel sick again. The only ones who knew were her parents and Eddie’s. Was it weird to tell Calum? Then again, he did help hold her hair back as she was throwing up. He’s obviously a good guy. “I’m… pregnant.”

His eyes widened. He coughed a bit, stammering, “Wow, that’s um… a lot.”

And Iris looked at his bulging eyes, and she giggled. What a boy, she thought. She smirked, “Yeah, it’s kinda a lot. Still want to chat me up after hearing that?”

If his eyes weren’t already open wide at her first statement, they’d grow in a heartbeat. “How’d you know?”

She laughed. “You wouldn’t just hold my hair back if you don’t care about me to an extent.”

He shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “Fair point. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t realize.”

“No no no,” she rushed to say, “you’re fine! I’m not showing or anything, you didn’t know. It’s okay. Plus, you came in here to help even though I was puking my guts out. I think I’m not ready to hook up or have any dates, I mean obviously the baby didn’t like me talking to someone,” she teased, and they both chuckled. “But,” she continued, “I appreciate the kindness, and just so you know, if I was able to drink I would’ve taken that extra cup from you.”

Calum smirked, feeling like maybe he was getting somewhere. A sudden burst of confidence ran through the man. “Well, will you take my number instead?” Iris gave him a look, but a smile was on her lips. “Not so I can try to get at you,” he confirmed was a laugh. “Just in case you need a friend again.”

Iris’s phone buzzed in her pocket, signaling to her that her Uber was here. She pulled out her phone, handing it over to Calum so he could type in his number. He sent himself a message, ensuring the text went through, and he gave her phone back.

“I'll text you, Calum. Thank you again for helping me out tonight.” And with that, she left the restroom.

Calum and Iris began to talk a lot more, making conversation during recording sessions and texting frequently. Calum would send pictures of his dog, and in return, he’d get “baby bump” photos, even though Iris was hardly able to show yet. The grew close, and Calum was thankful. He met her, thinking she was a hot young girl who would be fun to hang out with and even more fun to have sex with. But, the universe has a funny way of showing him what’s more important because after that night at the party she wasn’t just a girl he wanted to hook up with. She was a smart, strong, beautiful woman who had the world on her shoulders. She was so much more than what he thought she would be, and Calum was proud to call her a friend.

That’s what Iris needed, too. A friend. She was expecting to end the party on Ashton’s arm, but instead, she got Calum’s hands holding her hair back and his number in her phone. She was happy to have him as a close friend, especially with how crazy life can turn out to be. She wasn’t expecting him to be her rock, but sometimes people don’t get what they want.

•••

When falling in love, there is heartbreak and pain. It's a given. Though, typically it's those who are in a relationship that feel the pain. Instead, it was Calum and Iris.

He wasn't expecting to be the first person she'd call in a moment like that. He'd be lying if he said she'd be his first phone call. He had to push his feelings aside and just be a friend, a supportive one during her pregnancy. With his crush on her now faded away, he would easily call Ashton, Luke, or Michael. If his sister wasn't in a different country, he'd call her too.

But Iris didn't have many other friends. She went to school and worked, and then when the semester ended she worked and slept. She stopped going out, and no one messaged her to invite her to places anymore. She only had Eddie, Matt, and the boys in the band. That is, until she didn't.

He got the call at two in the morning. The cell phone woke Duke up first, and he let out a few small barks. After a few rings, Calum finally picked up his phone, and seeing that the caller ID said 'Iris Miller's he answered quickly. He was expecting her excited voice, begging him to pick her up for some late night In N Out, even though she claimed she didn't like the place. Maybe she needed someone to go with her to an appointment the next day due to Eddie canceling on her. Her twelve-week appointment was coming up, and she was excited that she was finally going to be ready to share her pregnancy news with everybody. Maybe, just maybe, she called him because she was so excited and needed to share her excitement.

What Calum wasn't expecting when he answered was Iris hyperventilating, struggling to get the words out. “Eddie's dead.”

And he froze. What was happening? What was going on?

He finally managed to get out a couple words, hearing Iris's heartbreak on the other line. “Iris, what's going on? Breathe, in and out, in and out, and tell me what happened.”

Her hands were shaking as she sat on the hospital floor, her back against the hallway wall. She stuttered her words, her mind unable to wrap about what had happened only an hour ago. “He— he went out— I don't know if it was a date or hanging out with friends, I don't know! And he walked into the gas station by his apartment, Cal, fuck— he was so close to home and…” Iris inhaled deeply, feeling like she was going to throw up.

As soon as she began to speak, though, Calum sprang out of bed. He pulled on sweats and a hoodie, slipping his feet into Vans and lacing them up as fast as he could while the held the phone between his shoulder and his cheek. He couldn't process her first sentence, “Eddie's dead.” All he knew is that Iris was panicking; she needed a friend, and Calum assured her that he could be that friend for her.

Eddie's parents and step-parents were down the hall, crying, speaking to doctors, making phone calls of their own, and mourning the loss of their only son. His sisters were on their way from their own homes, one living an hour away and the other living in LA, closer to the beach. But Iris had no one as she curled herself up on the floor. She called her parents, but they were a three-hour drive away and were fast asleep, unable to answer their phones.

She took deep breaths once again, trying to calm her breathing while her shaking hands only got more unsteady. “He walked into the gas station, Cal, and there were only two people; the man at the register and another man, holding a gun, Cal. He walked into a robbery, Cal, a fucking robbery! And he should have tried to back out slowly, but he grabbed his phone instead! He called the police and all they heard when they picked up was a fucking gunshot! He was dead by the time I got here, I— I didn't even get to say goodbye, Cal! He's gone and I have his baby and he's fucking gone.”

Calum slipped into his car, leaving Duke to stay at home with his roommate. The number of times she said his name, it's as if she was trying to stay grounding, remind herself that he's there with her.

“Iris, hey,” he said softly, starting his car. “Tell me where you are and I'll be there, okay? Just breathe for me, and I'm on my way.”

She nodded to herself. He's there, he's coming to help. “Okay, yeah. I’m at the hospital, I'll send you the address if you need it. I'll tell you where I'm at when you get here. Just… don't hang up, please,” Iris begged, her voice so low, so quiet. Calum had never heard her so defeated before within the few months they'd been friends.

True to his word, he stayed on the line until he got there, helping her keep her breathing steady. When he finally made it to the hospital he jogged inside and tried his best to get to the floor she was on as swiftly as possible.

Calum found her against the wall, two people that looked just like the man who passed at the other end of the hall. They looked at each other and Calum immediately sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms. Together they sobbed, reality hitting Calum like a train. Eddie, who'd been a friend of his since recording began, was gone too soon. But what hurt more was that he left behind a child, and Calum was at a loss on how to pick up the pieces.

•••

Iris's pregnancy was supposed to be a wonderful time where her and Eddie prepared to bring a baby into the world and give them a sea of opportunities. Instead, she was alone. She didn't have a pregnancy glow and didn't post pictures of her sonogram photos to let the world know she was expecting. She wasn't loving pregnancy like she was supposed to; no, she wasn't loving anything at all.

Eddie’s death made her feel like she was in purgatory. Due to being pregnant, she had to keep on going for the baby's sake. Though, she was just going through the motions. She felt like a part of her was missing, which to an extent was true. The baby was part him, and the baby was now fatherless.

Her heart was conflicted. She wasn't in love with Eddie, but he was a good and sweet man who was gone too soon. Gone before he could meet his own child. It was unfair, and it made Iris feel numb. She got to the point where she wouldn't want to think of the baby. She was supposed to find out the gender of the baby over the upcoming week, but she made no appointments and showed no interest within the baby. She was no longer living, she was merely existing.

News of her pregnancy spread after the funeral, and she was thankful it was never brought up during the service. Calum told the boys and the people at the studio that Iris was expecting, knowing all too well that she would make no move to speak of it. Michael was too upset by the recent events to crack a joke or two about the pregnancy considering Calum's former crush. Ashton was silent more often than not. They took time away from the studio. But Calum tried to visit Iris, considering they would not be seeing each other at work. It was weird; Calum didn't see them as too close, and then all of a sudden she relied on him and he vowed to be her crutch. He loved it, really, but he was worried about what was to come as the pregnancy furthered. He worried about her health and the baby's health, because Iris wasn’t taking care of herself after the passing. He also worried because she was going through her pregnancy without the father, and the baby would have to suffer that within a few months. He never wanted that to happen, not to Iris or her child.

Calum watched as Iris hid herself from the world. He knew for damn sure she wasn't taking care of herself. Her mother was worried about her, and she all but begged her to come back home and live with them during their latest phone conversation. But Iris clung onto Calum tighter. He didn't know why he was the one she attached herself to after the accident, but he would never turn her away. He was just worried.

Eventually, the guys would be going on a small promotional tour, and he feared leaving her in California. The boys understood, to a fault. They knew Calum wouldn't love her like a boyfriend would, and desperately hoped he wouldn't revisit his crush for her considering the fact that she was carrying a baby and a lot of emotional baggage, two things the boys did not want Calum to take on. Though, they also became her friends throughout the recording process, and then even more as she spent time with Calum. They knew that Iris somewhat attached herself to him long before she lost Eddie. Ashton figured she hadn't had someone around to be a friend for a while, and when Calum presented himself as a good option at the party, she slowly but surely hung on to the man.

Calum was stressed, thinking that while he was gone maybe she wouldn't take care of herself, or her baby. He felt like he already had to force her to watch over her body and the new life growing inside it half the time. He honestly could not recall the last time she even mentioned the word, “baby.”

Finally, it was time for her 20-week appointment; an appointment she wasn't even planning on attending. She cried in the shower, thinking about how today was supposed to be the day they would find out if they were having a bouncing baby boy or a gorgeous little girl. Only now, there was no they, only Iris was left. Or so, she thought, until she opened the door to leave her place and catch the bus to the appointment. There stood Calum, his face covered with a hat and sunglasses, and a light jacket she hadn't seen before thrown over his shirt. He was covering himself, trying to go unnoticed if he was going to be seen with a pregnant woman. That wouldn't be good to see all over Twitter later on.

“Cal… what are you doing here?” Iris questioned.

He shot her a soft smile. “I know you didn't want to go today, thought I might as well go with, be your moral support.” He offered his arm out to her, and she slowly took it, the other hand closing and locking her door before moving to rest on her little belly. Well, little for now. The baby was growing more and more each day, she didn't think of her middle area as small anymore.

“Thank you, it means a lot.”

He shrugged, trying to play it cool, but he knew this was a big deal for her. It was his goal to get her out of her rut, and hopefully seeing the baby would help that. Eddie may be gone, but he left her the greatest gift he could, and she wouldn't have to do anything alone as long as Calum could help.

They made it to the appointment, having enough time to stop by Starbucks and get a drink considering Calum drove. Iris hated having to plan her schedule by bus routes, and he knew that. They waited for ten minutes before getting called back. Calum was in awe as he watched Iris lift up her shirt so her doctor could smooth the jelly onto her stomach. It was the first time he'd seen her belly close up, and it hit him. She's going to have a baby in her arms in twenty weeks, and their dynamic would change. It frightened Calum, but he knew that's when she'd need him most.

“So,” the doctor began, “are we here for just a check-up or did you want to find out the gender too?” She smiled at Iris and Calum.

Iris bit her lip. “Umm… I don't know.” She looked to Calum, who was standing by the corner. He nodded, wanting her to figure out. Pleading with her to humanize this baby.

She thought for a second, before saying, “Just a check-up, but could you write it down on a little card and give it to him?” Iris motioned to the man who accompanied her. He looked confused, but sighed and let her continue on anyway.

The doctor nodded and continued the appointment. The doctor pointed out the little one's fingers and toes, took measurements to record the growth, and ran a couple tests to ensure the organs were fine. She told Iris to eat a bit more, making sure the baby gets big and healthy, but other than that everything checked out.

At the end of the appointment, the doctor wrote down the gender on a slip of paper, folding it and handing it over to Calum, without saying a word. The doctor was aware of how off Iris had been lately, so what she wanted she will get. She deserved it after all she lost. He slipped the paper into his pocket, vowing to himself to check it later when he's alone. When they got back to the car, Cal offered to buy them lunch, and Iris didn't oppose.

“Hey Cal?” He turned to her, viewing her from behind his sunglasses.

“Yeah?”

She looked down at her hands on her belly before gazing back at him, a soft smile playing on her lips. Something he rarely saw. “Thank you for taking me today. And thank you for taking the paper. I'm not ready to find out the gender… yet. But knowing that you'll know gives me comfort.” A blush rose to her cheeks.

He chuckled, placing a hand on her thigh and rubbing a bit. “Whatever you need me to do to make you comfortable, I'll do it. No worries.”

And for the first time in eight weeks, she didn't worry. She ate a good portion for lunch, took her vitamins like she was supposed to, and ended the night cuddled next to Calum and Duke on the couch at his place. It eased her mind knowing that Calum would do whatever it took to make her happy, especially considering the father of the baby wasn't here anymore. Iris and the baby would be without Eddie, but maybe they wouldn't be alone.

•••

“You okay, Cal?” Luke's voice snapped Calum out of his trance, blinking a few times before turning away from the window to look at his curly best friend.

He nodded. “Yeah, why are you asking?”

“You seem a bit off, that's all.”

Calum knew he was acting weird. They left for their promotional tour that morning and he didn't know when he would be back in California. It could've been a couple weeks, or it could've been at least a month. “Just… worried, really.”

Luke nodded, understanding. “Worried about Iris?”

“Yeah,” Calum confirmed. “I want her to take care of herself. She seems to do better when I'm there, and I don't want anything to happen to the baby.”

“You know…” Luke debated on what he was going to say. “I know you love her, we all do, and we want her to be okay, but it's not your baby. Some things she has to do on her own.”

Calum turned his body to his friend, now fully facing the tall man. “What do you mean by that?”

Luke huffed but tried to hide it. “You aren't the baby's father… when that baby is born you don't need to—”

“Let me stop you there,” interrupted Calum, “I'm not trying to be the baby's dad. I'm trying to be Iris's friend because in case you didn't remember, the only close friend she had before me fuckin’ died and now she's left alone to raise her first kid. If I can help Iris out with her needs than I will, but I'm not going to let that get in the way of the band. They can be to separate things, ya know? And that's what friends do, they help. For fucks sake, all I want is for that little girl to be okay, doesn't mean I'm trying to be her dad.” With a grunt, he turned back to face the window, watching the clouds pass by.

Luke was trying to think of a way to respond, and possibly apologize for his poor choice of words, when he stopped in his tracks. “Wait, did you say it's a girl?”

Calum quickly turned to Luke, his eyes widening. No one was supposed to know, not yet. New until the birth. Jesus, even Iris didn't know, and she's the one carrying the kid.

He stumbled on his words before saying, “Fuck— just forget about it, alright? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go use the restroom and worry in peace.” With that, he stood and squeezed between Luke and the seat in front of them before walking to the airplane's bathroom.

Michael slowly turned around, looking at Luke between the chairs. “Smooth, Lucas,” he teased.

Luke rolled his eyes. “Whatever, it was either going to be me or Ashton who said it, and I know from my own personal shit that Ashton is way more blunt than me. That could've been a lot worse.”

“If you say so, Hemmings. Anyway, considering we know it's a girl now, what should I get Iris for her baby shower?”

•••

Iris survived the few weeks without Calum, befriending the girlfriends of his bandmates and trying to get closer to the ladies she worked with. Matt offered her a position at the studio, knowing she could use the job during the time being. Though she wasn't qualified yet to work with the equipment by herself yet, she'd do just fine as an assistant to Matt.

She made an effort to put herself out there, knowing she couldn't rely on Calum being her only close friend when he was constantly touring. That meant she had to grow closer to the ladies at the studio, and befriending the girlfriends was a plus. Matt was helpful, and he had a family of his own, so he and his wife helped Iris pick out the crib and other products she needed.

She even wanted to have a gender reveal and a baby shower. She thought about inviting her family down to LA and having a celebration. She finally felt happy to become a mother, even if Eddie was gone. The only issue with celebrating was that Iris was trying to put in as many hours as possible with her new position as an assistant before going on maternity leave, ensuring she'd have enough money to support her and her baby before she went back on the job months later. This meant she worked until she was a bit past seven months. She had plans of setting up some sort of baby shower now that she was on maternity leave, but she needed to rest for a second.

She was at Calum's house, almost eight months pregnant when she felt the craving. She wanted something cheap, fast food would do. Duke was resting on her lap, having grown protective of the mom-to-be and the little one in her belly. “Cal,” she called out. Moments later he stuck his head into the living room; he had been in the bedroom putting away clothes.

“What's up?” he questioned.

She jutted her bottom lip out, ready to pout to get her way. “Can I borrow your car? I'm hungry.” It wasn't uncommon that she'd borrow the car for fifteen minutes, driving it to the nearby store or fast food places, bringing back enough food for both of them. Sometimes Calum would take her, and sometimes he'd go by himself to get her the meal she was craving, but right now he was busy with chores and wanted to finish cleaning up around the place.

He smiled and nodded, motioning to the coffee table. “My keys are in the bowl right there. What're you gonna get?”

She shrugged, pushing herself up off the couch and grabbing his keys. “I think maybe Taco Bell. It's such bad food but it's what this baby needs right now.”

Calum laughed at this, shaking his head at the woman. “Alright, well get a twelve pack of tacos and hurry back, I'm hungry too! Be safe!” With that, he went back to his chores.

Iris hopped into his car, adjusting the seat to fit her round tummy. She took off, heading towards the Taco Bell that was no more than seven minutes away. She thought about how soon she'd be having her baby, and she worried that she wasn't ready. She'd done a couple classes, set up an almost finished nursery in her guest room, and bought enough neutral toned onesies for the kid (and a few dinosaur ones, an adorable fluffy pink tutu, and a couple overalls that look like they would fit dolls). Maybe it was time she found out the gender. Invite over the co-workers, the bandmates, their girls, and her parents. Have a small gender reveal and baby shower all in one. Or maybe, she'd just ask Calum. He was the only one who knew, and he'd tell her in a heartbeat. He was good about doing what she asked; if she needed anything from him, he was there, and she didn't know why. She didn't know what was so special about her that made him stick around, especially considering her hectic life. But no matter all the times he could have left, he didn't. And it only drew her in more. She was thankful that he tried hitting on her all those months ago, and part of her wishes that they did get to be flirty and hook up that night. Then, the morning after they could have talked for hours about their lives before planning another date. Then another, and another. He gave her a love that Eddie didn't, despite the fact that Eddie was actually her boyfriend. It felt different with Calum.

Though, Iris had to remember what Ashton told her the last time they had a get-together. “Cal can't become a dad yet.” When the baby comes, Iris knew she would have to distance herself. The boys were right, the baby would not be his problem or responsibility. It was purely hers. She knew that the boys were not trying to be harsh. They were her friends, they loved her and she loved them. Calum isn't dating Iris, and he had told the boys time and time again that he was not interested in dating her. The boys thought that Calum would need to put himself first, then the band next, and if he was taking care of that baby then what would happen to the band? Iris wouldn't want to get in the way. But for now, she was enjoying her lazy days with him, hanging out in his living room and coming together with his — now their — friends for movie and pizza nights.

Iris was making a left turn, getting close to the plaza area with the small food joints, when she heard a honk. It pulled her out of her thoughts, instantly crowding her mind with a new fear. The second slowed down, almost freezing, as she looked to her right to see a car entering the intersection, running the red light that was above them.

It was 5pm when he got the call. Her emergency contacts were made aware of what happened, but she begged the paramedics to also call Cal.

Iris was hit in the intersection, spinning out and damaging Calum's car beyond repair. When the ambulance arrived they immediately decided to rush her to the emergency room, noticing her belly and they knew of the damage that could have been done to the baby. She was awake but in pain. Both mentally and physically, worrying about the ache in her midsection, afraid that this one little accident could have taken the life of her child.

Calum was rushing more than he had when Eddie passed. He had to run to Ashton's house to get a ride to the hospital, Ash offering to take him. He thought of the possibility of losing Iris, and he honestly wanted to cry. She had become a staple in his life over the time they'd known each other, and he didn't want to lose her yet. It hit his heart in a way no loss had ever had before, and he quickly became well aware that he had to face those feelings as soon as he knew she was okay.

When the boys made it to the hospital he saw the commotion of wheeling Iris to some sort of surgery room, and Calum panicked. He rushed over, and she noticed him, telling the paramedics this was the man she called.

He looked at her body, which had been hastily dressed in a hospital gown, and feared the worst. The baby.

“Cal, they're doing a C section,” Iris told him as he tried to keep up with the wheels of the bed she was being pushed on. Her voice was smaller than ever, breathy and trembling.

“What's wrong? Is everything okay? Are you—” He wanted to fucking scream.

She shook her head, tears falling onto her cheeks. “I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen,” she cried. He grasped her hand and squeezed. “Cal, if anything does happen, if I lose them, I just—”

“Her.”

Iris gave him a confused look.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. Ashton watched from the end of the hallway. “It's a girl, Iris. You're going to have a beautiful baby girl and she's going to make it. She's going to be strong, just like her momma, okay? She's going to make it.”

The tears feel more. “I trust you, Cal.” Those were the last words she could get out before being rushed into a different room, a nurse keeping Calum out. He wanted to punch a wall, he was so anxious. He felt a hand grasping shoulder, turning to see Ashton. Without a word Ashton pulled him into a hug, holding him tight and securely. The doctors would protect Iris and that little girl, and Ashton would protect his friend.

•••

Four hours later, Iris was holding a tiny girl in her arms. Her parents, who came as fast as they could, met the baby along with Eddie’s two sets of parents, and they took turns going in the room to see her as Calum waited. Iris had a couple broken bones, and bruises littered her body, but the baby was okay. Born about a month early, but she was alive and, for the most part, healthy.

The boys and their girlfriends had all joined Calum, waiting until they were given the clear to see her.

“I get it now,” Michael had told him during the wait, none of them at the time knowing if Iris or the baby would be alright. “It's easy to tell you to not get attached when she's fine. But now we don't know if they'll be okay, and it hurts.”

Luke reached out to hold onto Calum's arm. “I'm sorry for saying you shouldn't prioritize her. We all are.”

“The way you were there for her today… I know you love her, Cal. We shouldn't get in the way of that,” added Ashton.

Calum sighed, looking up from his shaking hands. “I tried so hard to not grow feelings for her, to just be a friend, because that's what she needed. But today just showed that I don't know what I would do if I lost her, or that baby. I don't know how to do this whole ‘love’ thing, especially not with a kid, and it scares the living fuck out of me, but…”

“You love her, and that baby. And that's okay. Sometimes life hits you when you least expect it. But we're going to support you, and we're going to love that little baby too, even when things get rough,” Luke told him, the rest of the group agreeing.

Eventually, everybody had to leave, considering visiting hours had ended. Iris's mom told Calum he could stay, and after hours of waiting, all the parents left the room, allowing Calum to go and see her.

He opened the door slowly, and a tired Iris greeted him with a smile on her lips. “Hey,” she whispered.

He smiled back, his attention turning to the baby in the clear crib next to her bed. “How is she?” Calum asked, his voice soft despite his worry.

She hummed, thanking God for the baby beside her. “She's beautiful, Cal. Here, come see.” She set up, scooting over on the hospital bed to allow him to sit beside her. She gently scooped up the little baby into her arms, the girl naturally clinging to her mother.

She was tiny, so very small. Her chart read she was 5 pounds and 1 ounce. The beanie on top of her head looked huge on her, and the blanket she was wrapped in practically swallowed her. But she was safe, healthy and here.

Calum reached a finger out to caress her rosy pink cheek, her skin still bits of pink and purple. Eventually, her skin would turn into a tan, matching her mother's and Eddie's. Her eyes were big and brown, but she was too tired to open her eyes and show Calum. Iris knew the baby would inherit her brown eyes, which she inherited from her dad, but a bit of her hoped she'd get Eddie's blue color, which always stood out against warm skin. But, she did have his nose and a dimple on her cheek, and Iris was okay with her being a beautiful mix of both her parents instead of being a carbon copy of her late father.

“She's gorgeous,” he mumbled. She let out a little whine every now and then, but she did cry, even when she was placed into Calum's large arms. “I'm so happy she's okay,” he admitted to Iris, relief taking over.

“She's my little miracle baby. I couldn't be more thankful.”

Calum turned to her. “I'm happy you're okay too. I don't know what I would've done if I lost you.”

She blushed, avoiding eye contact. “Thank you, Cal. For everything. I know it's been a long few months.”

“It's been my pleasure.” He held the little girl to his chest, keeping her warm. “Have you decided on a name yet?” He stroked her cheek again, loving the little coos she let out.

Iris watched Calum hold her girl, her heart pounding in her chest. She never pictured herself becoming a mother so young, and she couldn't believe she spent the first half of her pregnancy so mad at the world, because she fell in love so easily with the tiny child her best friend was holding. There was no warning for how deeply she fell for her baby, and she knew no love would be greater. And then, there was Calum. His love was much more complex. Though, he was there showing her how to fall in love with him every step of the way. She learned from him that falling in love could happen through helping one another out, and being a friend before all else.

She shrugged and looked down at her face. “Rose, I think.”

“Why Rose?” Calum asked out of curiosity.

“Because, her cheeks are so rosy, and it'll remind me that despite all the shit that happened, I got a healthy, beautiful, blushing baby out of it.”

Calum chuckled. “It's beautiful. Cheesy, but beautiful.”

She lightly swatted his arm, giggling brightly. “Well, roses were also Eddie's favorite flower, but I thought that would be even cheesier.”

He shook his head. “Not cheesy at all, I'm just teasing you. Any thoughts on a middle name?”

She shrugged. “I'm not sure. I was thinking… maybe you could pick it?”

Calum was shocked but honored nonetheless. “Me? You sure?” She nodded. “I think… Anahera. It means ‘angel’ in Māori. I remember my mom always called my sister that when we were little. Plus, this little one is an angel, and she’s got an amazing guardian angel watching over her.”

Iris smiled wide. “I love it, Calum. It's perfect.”

“So is she,” he whispered. Iris cuddled into his arm, watching the man she loved hold Rosie Anahera.

Falling in love was not something she was looking for at the beginning of the year. Now, come months later, she was head over heels for the man who tried hitting on her at a party, mother to the most beautiful little girl, and had her best friend as a guardian angel to watch over the mother-daughter duo. The two sat together in mutual understanding that hey, maybe they did love each other. One thing was certain, and that was that they each fell in love with Rosie, and they were ready to show her a love like no other.

So maybe falling in love for Iris began with a little slip-up, resulting in a journey of a pregnancy, but it ended with her and Calum holding what would become their little girl. And she couldn't be happier.

-

Taglist: @flannelpunkcalum @gigglyirwin-main @gigglyirwin @astrosashton @softforcal @singt0mecalum @youngblood199456 @gothliath @bitterbethany @cunnillucas @justacrush @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @heartachecth @glitterprincelu @hereforlukescruff @irwinkitten @converse-luke @c-sainthood

#i've had this concept for so long #i'm so happy i finally put it out there #calum hood oneshot #calum hood fanfic #calum hood masterlist #calum hood smut #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #5sos oneshot #5sos fanfic #5sos masterlist #5sos smut #5sos angst #5sos fluff #luke hemmings oneshot #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings masterlist #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings angst #luke hemmings fluff #michael clifford oneshot #michael clifford fanfic #michael clifford masterlist #michael clifford smut #michael clifford angst #michael clifford fluff #ashton irwin oneshot #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin masterlist #ashton irwin smut

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS Episode 12 commentary (FINAL!)

Crunchyroll was awesome this time! 

No significant complaints on the subs!

You guys were awesome this time! 

So many people stuck around for the late viewing in the stream and even after just to chat! 

Now on to the actual episode. 

Once again sorry this is so long. But with this being the last one, can you really blame me.....?

.....As much I love this episode, this scene was just so painful. Worse than Shine’s show. Worse than that whole last episode combined. 

A lot of my predictions about Part 4 were wrong (will discuss later) but I was absolutely sure of one thing. I knew no matter what happened in Part 4 just one thing was FOR CERTAIN. And that was... I was going to have to see Shin cry. This precious boy who deserves nothing but love is going to suffer. And I tried to prepare myself. I tried. 

But somehow. Even though I knew. EVEN THOUGH I KNEW... It was way worse than I could have ever imagined.

I always assumed he would cry because he found out about something terrible about the past. But instead HE NEVER KNOWS THE TRUTH and we get him sobbing over something entirely NOT HIS FAULT... in front of everyone.... HOW.... HOW COULD THEY.... DO THIS... TO.... HI...M................ 

This scene upsets me so much I don’t know if I have ever even seen the whole thing. I always end up turning away at some point, or just curling up into a ball.....

Did anyone else feel like they were watching a totally different anime for a few seconds here? I’m having trouble telling if the style actually changed or if I.... just am not used to seeing Shin make expressions like this............. ba.....by..............

Leo always cries when anyone else is crying.

Even though everyone claps for him at the theater at cheering shows, it doesn’t make me feel better. AT ALL. Because Shin never knows the truth. NONE OF THEM DO. Okay we’ll talk about this more later but just..... gah it hurts........................................ So much that it actually hindered my enjoyment of what amazing thing comes next......

Back in the first movie era, the idea of a full CGI show of the Edel Rose boys with Shin as center was something that I could not imagine coming true even in my wildest dreams. And I love this show. I just wish it wasn’t proceeded by so much suffering. 

Shin being their center was something they decided at the Christmas live (before performing Dramatic Love for the first time) BTW. While it seems obvious to us that Shin would be center, it wouldn’t necessarily be as such in-universe. They had to decide at some point! And I’m glad it was a part of that story. 

I LOVE THESE OUTFITS. 

THEYRE PERFECT. The rainbows, the stars, the colors. Everyone looks AMAZING. And I know the rainbows are probably an homage to Over the Rainbow... BUT..

its just so gay

Prism stone beam???

This is orange I guess? It looks more yellow to me. A lot of the hand colors are kinda vague and I’m just like... WHO DID YOU TOUCH 

For anyone who read my I THINK I MARRIED ALL THE EDEL ROSE BOYS. OR THEY MARRIED EACH OTHER. ANYWAY EVERYONE IS MARRIED NOW shitty out of context spoiler I wrote in a comment obviously it was this ahahaha

I really do love this show, and like with the new Shuffle’s show last week I’m so glad I can finally watch it without the.... suffering. 

The first time I saw this in theaters, this exact frame right here was when I first started feeling any semblance of better after all that had happened. He looks so confident and gallant and his eyes are shining and he just.... Shin............... I love you so much....................................................................

Also this is a good spot to talk about their feathers I guess. So these are different from the other (male?) wings Shine had. Why? What does that mean? 

*throws hands in the air*

So, some folks may not be aware of this but the feathers from Rainbow Live were a feature of the arcade game. 

You could unlock them by raising the PairTomos, and even the night dream feathers look like they were available at one time during an event it seems?? I am not entirely sure how it all worked since I never played the game back in the heyday. (You can no longer obtain all the feathers now even if you bring a memory card to a currently running Pretty Rhythm machine since some just aren’t available anymore.)

But anyway, the actual point I was trying to make is that the feathers had a set  structure within Rainbow Live since it was grounded by the arcade game. But in King of Prism...... that just kinda do what they want.... s....o.............

The first time I went to cheering for this it was the premiere date, and it was also the first time I ever did cheering the same day. In between the morning/midnight showing a whole bunch of people had the idea to go to the 100 yen shop and get glowstick rings just for this scene. I was like daaaamn. 

But then...

Our first official non-Crunchyroll translation of prism no kirameki? 

Even the Juuouin group worships “the prism”. 

And I can’t help laugh at the irony that Crunchyroll abandoned using “the prism” but also just ignored the translation ALREADY ON SCREEN

I can’t take his scream here. It’s just like.... HE WAS ALREADY DYING, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS. 

LOUIS. 

LOUIS NOOOOOOOOO. 

Even as late as it is, I am really, really grateful how they took a few seconds to establish for the new audience exactly how much of their shows are powered by prism sparkle. 

Note that they did not change out of their costumes though. But my headcanon on this is that Leo just prefers to make the real thing because he can. 

Singing at cheering shows is also everything I have ever wanted. 

I feel bad though since I pretty much always get tongue tied here every time. It’s hard to just sing acapella to a song you’re not that familiar with. Especially with the sparkely lyrics appearing and disappearing like this. I actually don’t hear that many other people singing in the theater, perhaps for that reason? But I always try my best. 

And now that this is finally out, I can finally practice at home and nail this down with confidence just in time for...... SSS to leave theaters..... um............ ye....ah........

I also mess this up like every single time ahaha. It’s just slightly too fast for me to read. 

Someday I will succeed in properly marrying all of the Edel Rose boys. Someday. 

(Also I don’t think this was rainbow-colored in the theatrical version.)

So Edel Rose and all their fans just up and created a prism goddess so we don’t need the prism gods anymore. Can they do that? Can we do that? I guess we can! 

WE DID IT GUYS

It’s oddly fitting that Hijiri is kind of an ugly crier. I mean, he’s just so beautiful the rest of the time. It’s only right. 

So let’s unpack this for a sec. Unbeknownst to them, because the Edel Rose boys all married each other they put a new seal on Shine. But this seal is entirely dependent on their marriage their bond with each other. 

How literal is that I wonder?

Because like.... Edel Rose won’t last forever. Kakeru, Minato, and Yukinojo are gonna be going to college in a year and a half.... ahah ha.....

I just imagine like. A couple of them meeting on the street in the distant future being like “Oh man I haven’t seen you in forever!” “Yeah! We really lost touch! Hey, have you heard from Shin lately?” “No, you?” And behind them is like a TV report of Shin become Shine destroying a city or something. 

.....................Reminder again that this commentary is coming from the place where I am after having a couple months to let this all sink in and get to the point where I am comfortable joking about it.... ahah ha........ 

This is one of my coping mechanisms for dealing with the idea that my favorite character basically has the devil living inside of him trying to take over at any moment.....

Another one is thinking back to older King of Prism media and wondering what Shine was doing at that time. Like, I imagine him floating there inside Shin all bored and pissed off making sarcastic comments at whatever the Edel Rose boys are doing. And I find this hilarious for some reason. I’d make a webcomic about it if I could draw.

ANYWAY 

So my understanding of this scene (which may or may not be totally correct) is: The Edel Rose boys’ rings put a seal on Shine which drags him down back into the depths of where Rinne first plunged him. But before he goes, he installs(?) his powers into Shin so that Shin is free to use Shine’s powers on his own now. (Up until now he was just like borrowing them?) 

If you also briefly wondered how they could have gotten a perfect score after failing a jump, my guess is the Prism System just wasn’t recording at that time due to the lack of prism sparkle ahah ha. 

They absolutely mopped the floor with the new Shuffle, and it did not matter.

What makes this so nuts to me is that even before I saw Part 4, like way back after I first saw episode 5 I was already comparing Joji to a twisted Hiro. (Elaborated on this in my episode 5 post.) And then this aha. 

So in the theatrical version I swear the crowd here has light blue lights. And I wondered if it was on purpose to be like inverted Hiro (who goes from light blue -> yellow in the Prism King Cup, so Joji went yellow -> light blue?) but nope, I guess somebody just forgot Joji’s theme color is yellow ahaha. In the TV version they just made it multi-colored. 

So to add more context to some things, you may remember I mentioned before that Part 4 premiered in Japanese theaters in the gap between when Taiga and Kakeru’s episodes aired on TV. So by the time Joji’s episode aired on TV... I already knew this was gonna happen. I already knew we were watching the number one prism show. THE CHAMP. The only 2D prism show.... SO MUCH IRONY. 

But you know what. Despite his show being what it was..... After all the time to let it sink in.. After all the dust has settled.... the one solo song which is my clear favorite..... The only one which has gotten stuck in my head WAY MORE than ANY other.... is Joji’s. 

(Well, Ace’s. But still.)

So. 

Congrats Prism Champ. 

Never thought I’d say this but poor Jin. Even when he ACTUALLY TRIES to do something fair for once...... still......

(Goddammit Shine.)

Poor Joji? Or not. It’s hard to feel bad for him when he’s THE PRISM CHAMP ahaha. Like. He made it. He has everything he ever strived to obtain. On the surface anyway. 

How Nori-kun feels about this though, who knows. Will we ever?

DOES IT REALLY NOT? Haha I really don’t understand this at all. Like. Was it really political pressure? Did Jin fold since he didn’t win in the way that he wanted to? Did Kakeru pull some strings behind the scenes again?

*throws hands in the air*

AND THIS

It’s framed to be this super significant scene but

WHAT DOES IT MEANNNNNNNN

I have already touched on this in separate posts, and this post is so long already that I’m going to kind of leave it hanging here but I consider Kakeru’s plot in SSS to be a loose end. He was the only boy who did not have a plot with some kind of resolution about himself. Instead Kakeru’s plot was only about other people.....

FINALLY, the ultimate conclusion to the infamous curry plot of Pride the Hero.

AND FINALLY

YOU

GUYS 

I WAS SO MAD 

The official King of Prism Twitter and such were actually pretty good at hiding Dorachi before Alexander’s episode aired. But Torachi was just EVERYWHERE and I was like COME... ON. REALLY.

So you may have noticed this but he was added to the opening too. For us seeing SSS in the theaters, we only get one OP per showing. So this means Japan actually got this spoiled before episode 10. 

But I didn’t. I didn’t even notice because I just wasn’t thinking to look for it. (Also I guess sitting in a terrible seat to the far right twisting my neck at an angle may have had something to do with it but.) When I first saw the reveal of Torachi in episode 12 it was TOTAL SURPRISE for me......

But as much as I love Taiga though, Dorachi is my clear favorite. My Dorachi merch collection will start as soon as I can get my hands on ANYTHING

Also I wonder at what point Alexander figured out that DJ COO was Rei, because he sure knows now ahah. 

But anyway, speaking of spoilers....

I know I said at one point Nikkanen and the twins didn’t have any significant appearances in SSS, but that was before Part 4 and I just decided not to correct that and let you guys be surprised AHAHAH you’ll just have to hate me *BLASTS OFF INTO THE SUNSET*

(I’m so glad they seem to have cleaned up Nikkanen’s face a little. He looked so weird in the theater. Or like.... weirder at least.)

(If you don’t know these boys they are already established characters introduced on the Prism Rush mobile game.)

And what do THESE feathers mean..... 

LOUIS ISN’T DYING ANYMORE DONT CARE *NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM* 

By the way I can’t believe the prism sparkle disappearing and Louis becoming the protector of the world WAS FORESHADOWED IN ROAD TO SSS 9. That’s why I reblogged this post the other day.

It’s so funny how much of Road to SSS didn’t matter. Then you get to event 9 and LITERALLY EVERYTHING MATTERS. 

And again.... speaking of spoilers............

The week before Yu’s episode aired I AGONIZED about whether to put in some kind of vague hint that the Edel Rose boys new unit name was revealed in that episode (as part of Yu’s prism jump). Ultimately I decided not to. Because even though I didn’t figure it out at the time, I think with even a vague hint I probably would have. Because even when I saw it back then I was like.... “...... huh........” 

So you’re just gonna hafta haaaaaaaaate ahahaahah ha sorry

But anyway! Now I can finally stop referring to our seven stars as the “Edel Rose boys” and from now on call them SeptEntrion! Since calling them just the “Edel Rose boys” isn’t really accurate anymore since it would also include the twins and Nikkanen, etc. I’m happy that the main seven finally have a good name to distinguish them. 

(Now I need to learn to remember how to spell SeptEntrion....) 

Also

You guys in the livestream ruined this for me so I’m ruining it for everyone too.

Look at the red letters. 

Then flip over your desk and storm out of the room like I almost did when I noticed. 

WHY

THERE IS NO WAY THAT IS NOT ON PURPOSE

WHY 

So, a few weeks ago I was in Tokyo and I decided to stop by the Yotsuya station area.

I found the site of the supposed Yotsuya Credit union  (which is actually a lottery ticket stand) and the KPO KFC almost immediately. 

I also found out there is a Catholic university in the area, and although it doesn’t look anything like Edel Rose that seems like not a coincidence. 

So I started to walk around that area, but try as I might I could not find any little  shopping streets like the one in the anime. The area didn’t look like it would have that sort of place at all. Also it was POURING RAIN, I was just at Aqours 5th live the previous day, I had at least 6 hours to get home, and I was anxious to make it there with plenty of time for the stream of Alexander’s episode which we were doing that night. I decided to give up and head to the KFC to console myself over chicken, coleslaw, and biscuits before beginning the journey home when LOW AND BEHOLD 

RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE KFC

WAS THIS 

IT DOES EXIST 

And there is not nearly enough room for SeptEntrion to perform here ahaha. 

I can’t help but notice that while they used Prism One performance snapshots for all the other boys, Shin is in his old Over the Sunshine outfit. Well I mean. OF COURSE HE IS. But.....

But I really can’t help but wonder what the boys are thinking nowadays in retrospect about what happened. 

I mean, not that they shouldn’t love and trust Shin. Of course they should. 

But if my friend turned to pure evil for a solid 15 minutes I would be.... CONCERNED for him? ?? To say the least. 

The fact that THEY DONT KNOW AND MAY NEVER KNOW really just eats at me

I suppose Louis or June could tell them. But I don’t think Louis ever will since he just wants to protect Shin, and June..... where would she even start. 

Not to mention what does Yamada-san think about how Shin just BECAME Wataru Hibiki like I.... I just have several questions but......

The cheering audience for the half second we can see Torachi here: “..............................................................AHHHHH!..................................................”

I wondered for weeks what the TV ED would be for this episode, and as soon as Boy Meets Girl started playing I was like...... OF. COURSE.

Hahah I’m glad though. So far the only SeptEntrion version Boy Meets Girl we’ve had was live (at MRS) and I often thought of ripping the audio from the DVD just to have it, but now I won’t have to. The TV audience never got to hear the theatrical ending 366 Love Diary though, which is kind of a shame. That song is such a big part of SSS to me.

So when we do the livestreams, I often have the live episode playing on my actual TV with the sound off. The stream is delayed by a few minutes so it’s been great for cues to help prepare stuff to type into the chat about things coming up.

While you guys were still in the meat of this episode, I casually glanced over my shoulder and saw THIS on my TV

Shin in the outfit Leo originally made him for the Prism One.

And just started having a seizure that lasted until the credits ended BECAUSE THEN THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE.

Playing to the left is the theatrical weekly video we got in the third week of Part 4. 

(It has actual dialogue in the theaters, but here they just muted it and laid it over the credits. I went to the theater yesterday JUST to take notes on this for you guys ahaha. Glad I didn’t need to though.)

But like. When I first saw this in the theaters... 

I was so SO sure this was a joke. I mean Prism 2!?! Seriously!? 

But now I don’t know WHAT to think. 

ESPECIALLY ABOUT THIS

But um. Someone tell me the anime references I’m missing here:

And which of these are newly revealed YMT29 boys ahah:

And..... that’s it....

This is Louis’ coded way of telling Shin he’ll love him forever I guess. 

Aw man

you guys

we made it

ROUND OF APPLAUSE 

Ahhhhhhhhhh

ITS BEEN A JOURNEY

So Part 4 turned out way differently than I predicted. When the episodes were first announced and episode 12 was “Unknown”, my immediate thought was “it’s gonna be Shine.” Especially since the quote for Shin’s episode was something like “what have I done,” I assumed he would gain some memories of the past in episode 11 and was talking about something he/Shine did in the past. Then I thought Shine would perform in episode 12 and cause a bad end. Even though we knew Edel Rose was scheduled for a unit performance, I was skeptical if it would actually happen or not as I doubted Shin would be in any condition to perform in episode 12. (I also wondered if maybe we already HAD already seen their unit show in the OP and thus wouldn’t be getting a new song.) 

But when the CDs were announced and I saw the last one said “unit song” I was like.... ohhh.... I guess they will perform as a unit after all? That’s good? 

Turns out I was right at least in predicting that Shine would get a show, but not that he would STEAL SHIN’S SHOW, and that Shin’s “what have I done” quote was about THE PRESENT DAY and something that Shin DID NOT DO. AHHH THE PAIN. 

Although it really cuts me deep that Shin never learns the truth, I am grateful we got that unit show and a happy ending. 

But.... 

OR IS IT? 

says a voice in my head.

Shine’s coming back someday. And we can’t kill him without blanking Shin. Hghkhgkdhlkdh.

If I didn’t know any better I’d say the grand endgame climax of King of Prism would be SeptEntrion teaching Shine to love. But we already know from director spoilers that supposedly the grand climax is about saving Jin. I have a sinking suspicion Shine and Jin may be connected in some way though. 

Who fucking knows where we’re going from now. 

Other than WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON with Jin, another one of my big questions is does the Prism King Cup even matter anymore? Since the Prism One was supposed to replace it, but that didn’t go so well. HAHAH are we REALLY doing the Prism Two come on now..........

But anyway. I suppose there is no point in drawing this out it any further

for now

this is THE END

Thank you all SO MUCH for coming on this journey with me

It’s been such a joy sharing all this with you

And I hope to see you around

SHINY SEVEN STARS FOREVER

EDEL ROSE SPARKING

#king of prism #king of prism sss #shiny seven stars #king of prism shiny seven stars #kinpri

[vanchlo]

The Assistant / Chapter Twenty Two, “Don’t Let Me Go”

Hi!!!! Wow, long time no see. Somehow the writing bug bit me again and I finished up this chapter. I hope to post some another one for you guys soon, but (as you know) unfortunately I don’t know. Life has just been so busy the last few years and writing hasn’t been interesting to me or it’s just dropped as a priority. There are no words for how sorry I am to leave you guys hanging with this story.... I hope I can keep posting chapters for you guys, even if it’s off and on. I hope that some of you are still around and will see this chapter, and that you’ll like it. I’d love to hear what you think :) 

“Y-you did all of this?” I ask, pointing at the food, the streamers hanging from the ceiling, my favorite music falling from the speakers, my favorite foods donning the tables in the corner, and so on and so forth.

“Who d’ya think did it?” he laughs, giving me a fake glare. I barely have time to laugh with him when people start clinking their solo cups with plastic spoons and shouting “speech, speech, speech” over and over with their eyes on Harry.

I find myself chanting along with them as his cheeks fill with the color of roses. “Alright, alright, calm down ya crazy lot,” he shouts, dimples drilling into his cheeks as he uses his arms to tell them to quiet down. “I didn’ really prepare a speech, but fine, I guess you lot will get one. Fuck, where do I even start?” he titters, and so does everybody else at his choice of words.

Harry thumbs at his bottom lip as he stares off into the distance before his eyes float over to me and glue themselves there. “Becky, or as I like to fondly call her, Becks, I dunno where to even begin with you, love . . Never have I had a personal assistant like you. There’s never been one like you, Becks. Yer one of a kind and nobody could ever replace you.”

Briiiiiiing!

“Styles and Lawson, this is Rebecca,” I chime, finding it hard to hold in a sigh as I play the fake cheerful card. And boy do I try to believe it, too.

"Hi yes, I’m calling about . . . ,” the shrill voice belonging to an old granny spills into my ears. I grudgingly reply and transfer them to the right department that they should have called in the first place. Sigh.

My fingers return to the keyboard of my laptop and glide across the keys. I pick up where I left off from the middle of the sentence. The sentence I was interrupted in the middle of.

“I need copies o’ these,” a voice rasps, before I hear a definite clud. I look up to find a pair of tired green eyes belonging to Harry. They disappear in a flash when he turns his back, walking away without another word. With a huff, I reach over to grab the small stack of law books and documents, post-its spanning the color of the rainbow sticking out to mark pages.

+

Beep.

I tap my finger along the screen, first entering Harry’s code. Welcome, Harry, it reads. I press OK and ignore the many options, and instead select Copy. After selecting what I need, I tap the green button and wait for the whirring of the printer.

Ten minutes and many copies later, I plant the last post it on a stack of copies of Chapter 10 from Law’s Empire. After rearranging the stacks in alternating directions in one big stack, I settle the hefty pile in my arms before turning around.

I nearly lose it when I turn around. Harry stands mere inches in front of me, floating into the room unannounced like a ghost. And in my fright, my arms do a weird thing out of my control. In staggering slow motion, dozens upon dozens of papers jump into the air.

Suddenly, my vision speeds up to the present. I groan loudly at the mess of papers lying on our feet all over the floor.

“‘m sorry, didn’ mean t’ scare ya, love,” Harry comments softly. He falls to his knees as he gathers a handful of paper. “Here, lemme help you.”

“I’m fine, I got it,” I reply, grabbing a piece of paper with an orange post-it. “Did you need something?”

“What?”

“Well, you were standing two inches away from my face when I turned around. It kind of implies that you need something,” I say, starting to recognize some similar papers. I begin to make stacks of the familiar pages.

Law’s Empire. A History of British Law. Pages from a file on somebody named  Harrows.

The reason is fleeting me, but I look up briefly to find his head bent down as he gathers papers together in a uniform stack. The pause rouses him and he looks up too. I tear my eyes away after only a few seconds of eye contact. A chilling silence fills the space between us, often interrupted by the sound of shuffling paper and the almost quiet ticking of the clock.

Maybe minutes later, my five stacks are growing higher along with his. I start to see the tile floor that I had forgotten was there.

“I wanted t’ talk t’ you.”

“Of course,” I almost retort in a mutter, setting aside a copy of page 489 from The Infamous Case.

A syllable falls from his lips, but it stops there and I try to ignore it.

The stack for Dallow vs. Emprise Inc. has nearly doubled in size by the time he speaks again.

“Why can’ we talk ‘bout what happened?”

“Because, Harry, there’s nothing for us to talk about,” I answer, picking up copies from the Harrows stack and clinking them against my thighs to straighten them out.

“Becks,” he almost pleads by the sound of it, and it catches my attention. I’m coming to hate that name, with how much it’s been battered and abused.

“It’s over, Harry, just drop it. Please.”

“No, I don’ wanna drop it, Becks. ‘s not over.”

After sorting through a good two dozen papers I pick up another, leaving only a handful or so left. Thank God, then maybe I can get out of here.

“Yes, it is, Harry. Stop it.”

“Why?” he retorts through gritted teeth.

He pushes his stacks into the middle.

“Because it was over the second you didn’t try to give me the benefit of the doubt,” I say curtly, staring down at his messy stacks that I combine with mine. Throwing caution out the window, I put them all into one stack that I hug to my chest as I get to my feet.

Finally, I meet his eyes as our shoes squeak against the tiles. He stands between me and my way out. A synonym to sadness tugs at his eyes. His red rose lips pout out of the corner of my eye.

The door clicks behind me with a definite thud as I make my escape.

I have to push away my disappointment when I don’t hear the clud of his footsteps coming after me.

+

It pains me to wrap my fingers around that handle. I feel a pang seeing his desk and all of his familiar furniture and books. It hurts, even more, to look at his leather couch and see where we sat at each end on late nights. Boxes of takeaway and empty beer bottles would sit on the carpet nearby. Our laughs floating around the room and filling the empty cracks in the walls. And the empty parts of my heart. Maybe even his.

My feet hardly budge from his doorway. I drag them across the room and over to his desk. My eyes land on the scattered mess atop it. Papers. Empty mugs. Forgotten pens. Hastily written notes. I juggle the stack of papers back and forth, trying to find an empty space for them where they won’t get lost. My eyes catch the dark wooden frame beside his phone. His dimpled cheeks and sparkling eyes smile at me from a picture. Next to the excited smile and fake blonde head of hair called his girlfriend. Amber.

“I coulda taken those,” a voice speaks from behind me. I jump at the sound of his voice. Once again, it’s as if he floated into the room without a squeak.

Gulp.

I pick a spot and drop the papers there. Turning around, her perfect smile and perfect face stare at me out of the corner of my vision. Touching my hair nervously, I find him standing in his doorway looking lost. Nervous. A question sits on his face. The way he looks at me is as if he wishes for me to answer it. I look down quickly as thoughts storm through my brain. I strive for the calm after the storm, and I know the only way that’ll happen.  

I lift my head, and it finally feels clear for a moment. I meet his eyes and nervously lock gazes.

“Consider this my two week’s notice. I’ll help you find a replacement for me. I’ll train them in and I’ll finish up what I’m doing, but then I’m gone,” I announce suddenly. I wish for my voice to sound balanced and confident, but I’m almost sure it’s the polar opposite.

His eyebrows raise as if controlled by a puppeteer, and his jaw drops nearly in sync. No words fall from his mouth, but I see question after question blossoming behind his big eyes.

The storm behind mine rages and howls as I walk past him. Now it’s my turn to float away like a ghost. If only I could turn invisible, too. And maybe haunt a person or two, like a certain somebody’s girlfriend.

+

The rest of the week drags on slowly. Rain plagues the city and puddles litter the sidewalks everywhere I go. I count the days until I can leave and call this time in my life a stupid mistake of the past. But the days can’t go fast enough, and with the incessant rain, they only seem to go by slower. The jumbled mess in my head only grows worse, too. The dread. The slight excitement. The relief. The confliction. The sadness. The feeling of being lost. The wondering of what the hell I’ll do next.

Another storm rumbles overhead amidst the beeps and whirring of the elevator. Finally, the red number reaches 17 and the silver doors part. I’m bombarded by the sounds of the seventeenth floor. Chatter. Typing. Phones ringing. It’s not long before it blends into the background, just like any other day.

One week down, one left to go. My Monday is slow and I’m quickly reminded of my restless sleep from the night before.

Caffeine is my saving grace throughout the day that seems like it’ll never end. First, the copier won’t work. Then I get an earful from some stranger on the phone. Next, I realized I forgot my lunch at home. To top it all off, Harry is in a disastrous mood. This last one is by far the worst as if the others weren’t bad enough.

“Wha’s this I hear ‘bout you hangin’ up on people?” a voice rasps from behind me. The four numbers unique to me show on the screen of the kiosk before I hit enter.

“I’m on my lunch break, I’m not working right now,” I reply, walking away and towards the fridge with the hopes I’ll find something forgiving there.

“I don’ care if yer on yer lunch break, or if yer off for tha day. I wann’ talk t’ you,” Harry retorts. I resist rolling my eyes at his remark as my eyes search the shelves of the fridge. The barren shelves.

“Then what do you want?” I huff, turning to face him as the refrigerator door closes with a soft thud.

“First, yer hangin’ up on people, then sumbody called t’ tell me that ya messed up their appointment with me, and lastly I still haven’ gotten tha copies I asked for at nine this morning?” he continues, holding out his ringed fingers and using them to count. He holds up three of his fingers and waves them in the air. As if I don’t know how to count, too. “What, are ya tryin’ to make yer last two weeks hell for tha both of us?”

“No.”

“Well, it sure fookin’ seems like it. What, have ya just given up halfway in? Ya still got anotha week left ya know, a week that still requires you t’ do yer job. And train yer replacement in, but ya seemed t’ forget that part haven’t ya, considerin’ ya’ve still failed t’ find one?” Harry goes on, poking at the ticking time bomb inside of my chest. The anger pumping through my veins goes a little quicker with every word that falls from his lips.

“Fuck off,” I tell him, pronouncing every syllable clearly and slowly.

His green eyes expand in a second flat and instantly regret fills me with a sick feeling. But then the anger returns and my heart starts racing.

“Excuse me? What makes ya think ya can talk t’ me like that? ‘m still yer boss, don’ bloody forget that,” Harry says, his voice rising as he wags a finger at me. Annoyance and anger knits his eyebrows together.

Fear surges into my veins and suddenly I’m tired. My stomach growls, yelling at me to feed it so it won’t be empty anymore. But I couldn’t find five minutes this morning to order something, and I’ve had enough of the rain that the last thing I want to do is step back into it before I absolutely have to.

“Please, just stop. I’m sorry, okay?” I sigh, my voice threatening to break on the last syllable. Suddenly, his features soften and the real Harry peaks out at me from the cracks.

“Becks, I’m sorry, too. I know ‘s not an excuse, but ‘ve been having a hard time lately. ‘s been so hard t’ try and find a replacement tha’s even half as good as you. I jus’ wish we could talk ‘bout this more, and that you could stay. Please, Becks, ‘ll do anything,” Harry says quietly. His voice leaks of pleading and honesty - two things I haven’t seen in a long time.

My shoulders threaten to fall with a loose shrug, but I stop them before they can. I gulp past the knot in my throat and force myself not to give in. A flicker of movement behind him catches my eye, and I look over briefly to see what it was. The door opens and in walks Asher with two brown paper bags clutched in his hands and a question painting his face.

“No, Harry. My mind is made up, I’m leaving. I spoke with somebody who sounds like they’d be a good fit - she’s coming in tomorrow,” I say softly, defeat tugging at the corners of my voice but the edge sticks. And so does my decision.

I walk away after the last word hits the air before he can say anything else. The smell of greasy fish and chips tempts my taste buds as I near Asher.

He flashes me a small smile before whispering, “are you okay?” as he turns to follow me out the door. I nod ‘yes’ and take the bag he holds out towards me.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

A microwavable cup of oatmeal. Picking titles off Harry’s bookshelves and making copies at his request, over and over. Then putting them back where they were, in alphabetical order by title. Picking up his newest dry cleaning. Taking care of his shopping lists. The next mornings consisted of this. Oh, and ordering take away because guess who was too busy again to make herself lunch?

“Hello, is anybody home in there?” somebody says. I jump a few inches off of my seat and jerk my head up to see who’s talking to me. Harry. With his large hands resting on the edge of my desk. Wrinkling papers and pushing things around. “You okay, love? You look a little down, and tired, and-.”

“Okay, I get it. I don’t look the best. Noted,” I reply, looking away from him and to my computer.

“I-I didn’ mean it that way . . Really, are you sure yer okay, Becks? Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything is fine, thanks.”

“Okay, if you insist,” he replies. He finally lifts his hands from my desk and makes it look like he’s going to leave. But he doesn’t. He continues to stand there and look at me, awkwardly.

“Um, can I help you with something?” I ask him, holding my hand out before I rest my chin in my palm.

It takes him a short moment to collect his thoughts. But then after looking around mindlessly his eyes return to me. “Ya know if ya need a letter of recommendation or something, I’d be glad t’ write one for ya. Unless ya’ve already found a job and ‘m saying this kind late . . I mean if yer looking for another personal assistant job which whoever that’s for they’re tha luckiest in tha world,” Harry goes on. He talks like he’s never going to stop, but I wouldn’t put it past him. “Have ya already found a new job?”

“No, I uh haven’t. But I’m working on it,” I reply. I awkwardly meet his eyes that gently look back into mine. An unwelcome thought creeps in through a crack in my reserve, and there I am feeling the weight of its words.

If only things could always be easy like this and he could be easy like this then I wouldn’t be looking for another job. But they’re not.

“Good. ‘m sure you’ll find something great, whatever it is ya choose. Anybody will be lucky t’ have you,” he rambles on quietly. The tension in the air grows and I suddenly wish this conversation was over minutes ago. “Ya wouldn’ ever go and work for Tomlinson or the bloody Scotts-.”

“No no, of course not. I’d never do that to you,” I reply quickly. A quick smile flashes across his face and a blush pinches his cheeks.

“Yeah yeah, I know. I didn’ want it t’ seem like I thought you would, but-.”

“I know, Harry. It’s ok,” I tell him softly. Now it’s my turn to smile, or the best I can try.

“Y-you’ll be ok?” Harry says slowly, thumbing at his bottom lip. The question catches me off guard, and I look away from the feeling in his eyes. I can’t handle it. This is already hard enough, and the two weeks isn’t even up.

I clear my throat and pull my head back up to look at him. I nod at his question and his head moves a little too. He bites at his bottom lip and turns his eyes away.

“You have an appointment later with Judge O’Connell at 3, and then the new prospect, Amelia Jones, should be here in fifteen to interview,” I say quickly so as to avoid any more sappy talk. But I quickly regret it, because knowing Harry it’ll be another few days until another moment like this.

And I only have six left, counting today. Six days to figure everything out, and to let him go. As if I could do that.

+

“So. . ,” he rasps as the hum of the heating fills my ears after the previously incessant chatter.

“What?” I ask softly, tearing my gaze from the wall to Harry’s inquisitive eyes that search for mine.

“What did ya think of her?” he continues, speaking with his expressive eyebrows that climb up his forehead. The pen in his hand ventures out towards me in question before it returns to its stay between his teeth.

“She was good, probably the best one yet,” I admit hesitantly, looking down at my clipboard holding an interview sheet similar to the one in his lap. She checked nearly all of the boxes, and the one’s she missed were miniscule. Insignificant. She’s damn near perfect. I hate it.

“She was better than good, she was bloody great,” he nearly sings with a giddy smile, and I find it tugging at my heart. I shouldn’t feel resentment and jealousy when I’m the one choosing to leave, but this whole situation is wrong and nontraditional so what’s one more thing then? “I think ‘ll hire her. What d’ya think?”

“Go ahead, you’re the boss,” I reply, standing from my chair and stretching my arms above my head. Images of her flame-like curls pop into my head along with her piercing jade eyes and beautiful laugh that put a spark in Harry’s eyes.

“Becks,” Harry begins as I shake my head with the hopes the motion will break up the unpleasant thoughts enough to make them turn into dust and blow away. And maybe to get him to stop calling me that, too. If only it were that easy. “I want yer opinion. If ya don’ think she’s good enuff, tell me.”

“She’s great, Harry, she’s more than good enough. She said so herself that she’s willing to learn and has some similar job experience. I’ll give her a call and tell her she can start training tomorrow,” I respond, turning my head to meet his eyes briefly before I head for the door and out of this painful moment.

“Ya know, you can still change yer mind . . ,” he blurts, his words rooting me to the spot but persuading me to do the opposite.

“Harry, please don’t. What’s done is done.”

“We can still talk ‘bout this,” he starts, but I don’t let him finish.

“No, we can’t,” I retort, whipping around to meet his eyes begging for mine. “And you know exactly why, Harry. It was your choice, not mine.”

If he said something, I didn’t hear it. I’m passing the threshold and out the door before he has the chance to speak and before I have the chance to. There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t know if I’ll ever know how to.

+

Beep.

The elevator climbs another floor and when I look up I’ve arrived at floor 17, for the last time. My first time being just a few short months ago, although it’s felt far longer. Nothing has really changed besides the newness of the place fading away, and the redhead standing at my desk that’s almost her’s.

I walk to the break room to clock in for the last time. I hear voices spilling out of the cracked door before I even enter.

“I think she’s the longest one he’s kept around,” a man’s voice remarks.

“I’m glad he got rid of her, or whatever happened, ‘cuz this new one’s much better looking. I wouldn’t blame him if he slept with this assistant for real this time, heck maybe I will even,” his friend snickers beside him, their backs to me as they drop sugar cubes into their cups of tea with laughs.

“What, ya mean he didn’t sleep with this one already?” the first bloke asks with a soft laugh. The stirring of their spoons fills the short silences between their gossiping.

“No, he didn’t,” I announce loudly, and I watch one of their teas fall over and begin to coat the counter they stand at. They both face me with a “deer in the headlights” look before moving their feet as fast as they can to leave the scene of the crime.

“Ignore them,” a voice says behind me, and who I find to belong to my nearly only friend here.

“Easier said than done,” I reply, following him to the kiosk to clock in.

“How ya holdin’ up?” Asher asks, looking behind me after he puts his code in.

“I couldn’t even tell ya,” I confess as I punch my number in for one of the last times. I bring my eyes to meet his and I feel my lip wobble when our eyes connect.

He reaches out and wraps an arm around me, pulling me into his side.

“Come on now, don’t start crying because you’ll miss me too much,” he jokes as I nuzzle my head into his chest, my arms winding around his taut middle. I laugh with him as I swipe at a tear on my cheek.

“You’re the only one I’ll miss,” I tell him, looking up to find his eyes that are somewhere up there at the top of his lanky body.

“We both know that’s not true,” he whispers with a flick of his brow. I nod and return my cheek to his chest and give him a squeeze. “Go get ‘em, Tiger,” are the last words I hear from him with a wink and a toothy grin. Oh, Ash, what would I do without you?

“Good morning, Ms. Holte,” somebody says as my fingers leave the handle of the break room door.

“Oh hi, Amelia. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Becky?” I reply casually as I meet the eyes of Amelia Jones.

“Yes yes, of course, I’m sorry uh, Becky,” she says nervously, stumbling over her words and nearly her feet as we walk to my desk.

“It’s okay. How are you this morning? Do you think you’re almost ready to take over for me on Monday?” I ask her with a teasing tone, even though it’s the plain truth and a hard one to swallow.

“I think so, I just hope I can do as good of a job as you, Becky,” she replies with a sugary sweet smile.

I thank her before we start our day with her sitting at the desk and me sitting at the side now because this is how it’s going to be from now. I still can’t get used to it, even if all but a few of my personal effects are now replaced with her own. I gulp before forcing a smile and letting her begin.

“Lookin’ great this morning, ladies,” a familiar raspy voice chirps and I look up to see Harry coasting on by with a wink. I hope Amelia can get over her little crush before Monday because God knows that isn’t going to bode well. I should know.  

+

Mid morning I take a tea break as well as an Amelia break, because God, how can somebody be that happy all of the time? I drop a couple of sugar cubes into my tea and stir the spoon around, hearing its clinking and scraping as another sound interrupts my thoughts.

“Are you actually getting sad about leaving this job finally? I thought this was something you’ve wanted for a long time,” Asher’s sunshine voice mumbles from the doorway as he closes the door behind him.

“Yes and yes,” I reply with a small laugh and return my eyes to my cup of light brown tea.

“Ah, I knew it,” he responds, pointing a finger at me. He stops in front of me and leans against the countertop, looking around and behind him nervously. Asher wrings his hands together and nibbles his lip, things I’ve only seen him do when he has something on his mind.

“God, can’t anybody around here act normally today?” I huff before taking a cautionary sip, but it’s still too hot to drink quite yet. “I swear, Amelia is acting even more weird than usual. She kept having me help her with copies and scans, even though she nailed that the first day here, and then was talking secretively to Harry a lot. Then there’s Harry and Myles acting weird, I mean even Jennings is being nice to me today, and then there’s you acting like you’re being watched by the cops.”

“I am not acting weird!” he protests with a funny look, but I think we both know I don’t believe him for a second.

“Whatever, I’ll find out why soon enough,” I say, taking my cup of tea and leaving the breakroom to continue supervising Amelia even though she’s nailing every part of the job and she hasn’t even officially started. I’m not even gone from this job yet and I’m being shown up by my replacement. Ugh.

+

“Hey, Becky? . . Becky?” a voice speaks, interrupting my daydreaming.

“Uh yeah?” I say, spinning around to find Amelia standing in front of the desk. Now her desk. Her bangs crowd her eyes as she tightens the bow on her waist tying her wrap around violet dress that hugs her in all of the right places. She even has a better body than me, what the fuck.

“I uh t-told the client coming at noon that we’ll go a-and wait for them in the conference room, so um if you’re ready . . ,” she trails off, not knowing what to say next because she can hardly get out a full sentence as it is.

“Uh yeah, sure let’s go,” I say, getting to my feet. “There should be some notepads and pens in there. We’ll just do a preliminary consultation with them to see what kind of representation they would need from Harry, and also if their case would be up his alley,” I explain, and she nods fast as if I’ve already explained this before.

As she leads me away from the desk and down the hallway towards the conference room and the offices, I rack my brain wondering if I’ve already told her this. I’ve done this annoying repeating thing before already, and it’s embarrassing enough when she tells me that she knows because I’ve gone over it already. I don’t want it to happen again, especially in front of a client. I don’t know why I’m worrying about it anyways when it’s my last day here, I mean-

Amelia interrupts my inner monologue when she opens the door to the dark conference room and suddenly the lights turn on as the rest of my senses are bombarded.

“Surprise!” a mix of voices shout at me, freezing me in place. “Happy going away party, Becky!” my coworkers continue as they throw their arms in the air, confetti blowers popping, kazoos kazooing, and party hats atop their heads.

My mouth opens as if to speak, but the words run away from me as my cheeks pinch with a smile. “Oh my- I don’t know what to say. Um, wow thanks, everybody!” I beam with excitement and am suddenly overwhelmed with hugs from everybody and anybody from the firm - people I don’t think I’ve ever seen and others who I didn’t like and who didn’t like me, including “deer in the headlights” guys from this morning.

“I’m sorry, I hated to keep it from you, but I promised,” Asher says, finally coming to my rescue with a drink he shoves into my hand as he wraps me up in a warm hug.

“It’s okay, Ash, I guess I can let you off the hook,” I laugh as I hug him back.

“I’m really gonna miss you, ya know. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this shithole without you,” he continues, giving me a kiss on the head.

“Awww, Ash, don’t make me start crying again.”

“I know, I’m just so good at it,” he giggles with a wobbly voice, and I laugh too.

“Go have something to eat, but not that Jello salad Bitchy Trishie from IT brought. It’s probably poisoned with her spit or something,” he teases, and I smack his arm playfully as he walks away sticking his tongue out at me.

I laugh softly to myself before taking a drink from my cup of fruit punch, looking around at everybody milling around. Eating free food. Hugging one another. Laughing with each other. Talking with people they say they hate. And signing the poster board on the table by the food, writing fake messages to me that I’ll most likely read only once or never. I tsk when I see one of the most gossipy girls signing it, but as I turn my head to look away my vision is blessed with that of something else.

My lips spark with an instant smile that outdoes my surprise of just a few minutes ago. He sees me just a few seconds later, and a smile tugs his lips upwards effortlessly.

“What d’ya think, did I do a good job?” Harry asks as he stops in front of me, holding his arms out and my jaw drops in astonishment.

“Y-you did all of this?” I ask, pointing at the food, the streamers hanging from the ceiling, my favorite music falling from the speakers, my favorite foods donning the tables in the corner, and on and so forth. Okay, so maybe this isn’t so bad.

“Who d’ya think did it?” he laughs, giving me a fake glare. I barely have time to laugh with him when people start clinking their solo cups with plastic spoons - it’s an even more annoying sound than you would think - and shouting “speech, speech, speech” over and over with their eyes on Harry.

I find myself chanting along with them as his cheeks fill with the color of roses. “Alright, alright, calm down ya crazy lot,” he shouts, dimples drilling into his cheeks as he uses his arms to tell them to quiet down. “I didn’ really prepare a speech, but fine, I guess you lot will get one. Fuck, where do I even start?” he titters, and so does everybody else at his choice of words.

Harry thumbs at his bottom lip as he stares off into the distance before his eyes float over to me and glue themselves there. “Becky, or as I like to fondly call her, Becks, I dunno where to even begin with you, love . . Never have I had a personal assistant like you. No offense to you, Amelia darling, but there’s never been one like you, Becks. Yer one of a kind and nobody could ever replace you. Once again, no offense,” Harry continues, occasionally pointing at Amelia laughing and making her blush up, but nonetheless, she waves him away in response. “There aren’t even words that exist to describe you and how amazing you’ve been t’ me and tha firm, and I know because I went to uni and fucking law school so I know a lotta big words,” insert here a throaty laugh of Harry’s echoed by those of the room’s. “Yer a bloody angel with all the shit you put up with from me, from several coffee runs a day, to grocery runs, to dry cleaning runs, to going down to the creepy ass files room and wading through spider webs to find what I needed for my cases. You were my lucky charm, Becks, you were tha reason I won so many cases, ‘cuz if I didn’t have ya there checking me notes or making sure I did it all right, I dunno where Ida been without you. And ‘s safe t’ say I dunno where ‘ll be without you afta t’day, or tha firm for that matter. So thank you, thank you, and thank you a billion for all that ya did in yer short time here and I wish you tha best in tha future. I know yer gonna do bloody amazing things out in the world, I can’ wait t’ hear all ‘bout ‘em. I hope we’ll see you back out there in our li’l law world soon, I know you’d kill it,” Harry says, his voice cracking in places that pull tears from my eyes and down my cheeks. “I don’t care what any o’ these idiots say, ‘cuz nobody’s gonna miss you as much as ‘ll miss you,” he ends with tears threading through his words, jolting his voice to a stop.

The tears welling in his glassy eyes finally topple over and land on his cheeks, just as he steps forward to embrace me in a warm hug. My face goes into his chest and his chin rests atop my head, fitting together perfectly like a puzzle piece as our arms wind around one another. “I meant every word I said, Becks. I hope and pray ya’ll finish up school and fight our fight, cuz I know you’d kill the hell out of it . . If ya do, yer welcome back here, we’d be bloody lucky t’ have ya again. Anytime yer welcome, Becks . . . I really dunno what ‘ll do without ya here, I dunno ‘bout that Amelia . . ‘m so sorry about everything, Becks, you have no idea how sorry I am; it kills me every day,” Harry speaks into my hair, tears strangling his voice every few words. I sniffle against his chest, spilling tears there and he sniffles above me where he too spills them.

“I’m going to miss you more than I’d like to admit,” I confess into the collar of his silky mustard button down. “I won’t miss the midnight texts or 4 coffee runs a day,” I laugh and he does it with me. “Thank you, that all truly means a lot to me, Harry. I wish things didn’t have to end this way either . . but they do,” I finish, pulling away from him and looking him in the teary eyes briefly before severing the pain and wiping away the same from my cheeks.

I wish it didn’t have to be this way, either, but it has to be. But that’s your fault, Harry, not mine.

#pa harry #the assistant #the assistant narrymccartney #narrymccartney #harry styles au #boss harry #boss harry au #personal assistant au #harry styles fanfic #one direction fanfic #office fanfic #office romance #harry styles #one direction #boyband #fanfiction #writing #creative writing #keep #wattpad

[putschki1969]

LINE LIVE ~ Summary

Here’s my summary of yesterday’s LINE LIVE. I am incapable of keeping things short so be prepared for a wall of text. I tried to lighten things up by inserting a few screenshots here and there ⊂((・▽・))⊃ Title: Wakana Solo Debut、「Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni」Release Special Broadcast Date/Time：2019/2/6 21:00～21:50 Victor Channel Download link

We start off with an introduction to the program. In order to celebrate the release of Wakana’s solo debut single, Victor Channel is hosting a special LINE LIVE. The program is hosted by Natsuko Aso. She says she will ask Wakana about all kinds of things, her profile, her music, her hobbies. Towards the end of the program they will play the full PV of “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni”, etc

Natsuko then advises viewers to remove the comment section on the side if they want to see a full-sized Wakana.

It seems like Natsuko and Wakana have met before but it’s been a while since they have last seen each other. [All I could find on that is an old Kalafina blog post from 2011. Apparently they all performed together at KITAKYUSHU 2011 but they probably met on various other occasions.] Anyways, after the usual formalities of telling each other how happy they are to see each other again Natsuko asks Wakana whether she is feeling nervous to do this live together with her and Wakana confirms that yes, she is super nervous.  She then asks Natsuko if it’s okay to call her Nat-chan like she used to back in the day. Natsuko immediately says yes, of course it’s okay. Wakana continues by saying that it’s totally fine if Natsuko calls her “Wa-chan” or “Waka-chan” or simply “Wakana”, no formalities please [Natsuko is quite a few years younger than Wakana so that offer seemed to make her a bit uncomfortable].

Nat then congratulates Wakana on the release of her single and asks her how she feels now that the CD is finally out. Wakana is super happy and excited of course. The song really transcended time because there was quite a long period between its first performance in August last year and its release. It’s about time it got released!

We continue with a short profile of Wakana’s life/career. The usual stuff, born on Dec 10, from Fukuoka, started singing early, first acitivities as FictionJunctuion Wakana, breakthrough as member of Kalafina and now after celebrating the 10 year anniversary of Kalafina she is debuting as solo artist under Victor Entertainment. Nat is surprised to find out Wakana is from Fukuoka. Wakana then explains that she was born in Tokyo but raised in Fukuoka so she feels like that is her home. Nats wonders if there is any good stuff to eat there and Wakana is more than happy to answer, she is like, “YES, there is!!!!” People in Fukuoka like to eat udon instead of ramen and Wakana’s favourite is udon with fried burdock (gobouten) (something that’s very hard to find in Tokyo). Wakana is like, “now I have become an udon ambassador”. Next they talk about how Wakana got into music. It’s the usual stuff again. Her dad likes to play the guitar, her mum used to be a music teacher, she has always been surrounded by music so naturally she became very fond of it too. She started taking lessons very early, then she was part of a gospel choir and took vocal lessons. But as we know, she originally wanted to become a mangaka or opera singer but that didn’t really happen. She then decided she would focus on singing (although not on an operatic level).

Next up is some talk about Wakana’s private hobby, namely her camera. Wakana reads through some of the comments and sees how many people are watching so she gets a bit nervous. There are lots of people waving so Wakana being the energetic person she is goes a little overboard with her waving.

Now we get to the camera. Wakana grabs it from a table nearby and says that she really loves taking pictures. She shows off all the cool features of the camera and takes a picture of the two of them. Wakana has always loved taking pictures of the sky with her phone so she wanted to try using a real camera for a change. Wakana is proud of the pic she took of them, it turned out nicely, a girly get together. She feels like this has turned into a teleshopping channel, she apologises. With this camera she likes to take pictures of the sky (like before), of nature and she also likes to capture special off shot moments.

Then we see some recent shots Wakana took.

This is one of her plants at home, she has forgotten its name though. She talks about spending a lot of time watering her plants and talking to them. It has become a ritual. She also has a little “angel” corner here which she likes a lot, she is a big fan of wings.

Next up is another one of her plants, it’s a christmas rose which she received as present recently. She is so happy that it already bloomed but she worries what will happen to it this summer since the flowers only bloom when it is cold

They just reached 10,000 viewers. CONGRATS! Wakana gets even more nervous.

We continue with some shark pics because hey, this is Wakana so of course this program has to include sharks. There are pics of her favourite tiger sharks which can be found at Fukuoka Marine World. She explains that she goes to aquariums all the time and that she really loves sharks, how they are so cute, how their form is beautiful, etc...Nat says that she has watched a couple of shark films and Wakana immediately wants to know which ones (=> Deep Blue Sea and Lost Vacation - some of Wakana’s faves actually). Wakana is so happy to talk about those films and of course she has to mention that Blake Lively’s body looks amazing, no matter how many times she watches the movie, she is always blown away by how gorgeous she looks. She recommends those films to everyone who wants some simple entertainment. And now the teleshopping program has fully turned into a shark program. Time to introduce her shark goods. Her infamous tea cup of course and her keyholder. Nat points out that Wakana’s tour goods look like they could be aquarium merch, they don’t have anything to do with Wakana. When Wakana gives her goods to friends they also usually believe that it’s a souvenir from the aquarium.

It’s time to end this shark corner and continue with some talk about the single. Wakana explains how this was her first time writing lyrics. When she first heard the melody of Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni she worried a lot because she didn’t know what kind of lyrics to write. She had to write tons of notes because she had no idea where to start, she would just write down random thoughts while listening to the song. Eventually she would pick out the lines she liked and create some proper lyrics. At this point she realised how much hard work it is to write lyrics, she had never really been aware of that. Nat asks if Wakana has a favourite line or phrase. She really likes the final chorus. Because this song is s collab between Shusui and a Swedish composer the song has a very Western/European vibe. The first version she heard of the song had English lyrics and she was super impressed by the song and she felt quite intimidated. Wakana was super embarrassed when she sang the song for the first time last August because she didn’t know if her lyrics would be well-received but since then she also performed it during her tour so she has become quite confident. That made it easy for her to do the recording (which followed much later). At that point the song had already changed quite a bit due to the different performances and interpretations, it really became her own and she felt very comfortable singing it in the studio. Then we have the live version of Tsubasa. Wakana says that she started her performance being quite nervous but with every line she sang she gained confidence since the song is quite empowering. That’s why she is happy that this live version was chosen even though you can probably hear her nervousness during some parts. Nat is super impressed by those two completely different songs, Wakana’s expressions are pretty much the exact opposite so it’s quite astonishing. Wakana goes on to explain that the song was written by Satoshi Takebe who also produced her tour. He left a huge impression on her because she learned a lot from him.

~ Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni PV ~ Wakana loves the contrast between the nature and urban setting and she likes how there is such a vast world introduced in the PV. All the wide shots are amazing. Nat says the PV has a very fantastical vibe to it, it almost feels like an illusion with all the lovely sparkles. Nat wonders if the PV was actually shot in Sweden because the atmosphere seems so European. Wakana has to disappoint her though, she did not go to Sweden unfortunately. However, they tried to find a location that would have a sort of nostalgic European vibe. Wakana is super happy they were able to find such a gorgeous location. The water was particularly beautiful because it reflected the forest in the background. She is also excited because she got to go on a boat and all the boat scenes where shot with a drone which turned out super well. Wakana says that she had a phone with her on the boat and staff members would tell her what to do ,“okay, now pretend to sleep. Ah yes, the sun looks beautiful now. Perfect. Stay as you are...” Wakana really wanted to look at the beautiful sun but since she needed to pretend to be asleep she couldn’t. Afterwards she got a chance to look though and she also took some pictures with the phone she had with her, she got some great shots. She will probably upload those pics on the blog someday soon. Nat then points out that it must have been very cold during the shooting since you can see Wakana’s breath during some scenes. Wakana admits that this was the coldest she has ever been in her entire life. In the past she had often shot PVs where it had been freezing but it was never as bad as during her shooting for “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni”. She had never seen her breath like that. When she watched a few scenes they had shot she thought she had become “Godzilla Wakana”

Nat reassures her that she didn’t look Godzilla-like at all. It really fitted the entire winter atmosphere of the PV and it helped to make it more emotional. We then get some off-shots from the shoot. Nat is impressed how much work it takes to get a PV like that done. Wakana agrees, it’s a group effort and everyone did an amazing job.

Wakana really loved the location for the urban night scenery. She wishes that was her apartment but alas it isn’t. For a moment though she had Nat convinced that it was in fact her apartment XD

Nat catches Wakana a little off-guard when she says they should continue with some information. Wakana looks at her schedule sheet and is a bit confused but then she realises it’s time to talk about her album and tour. Nat introduces all the album details we already know. Wakana is like, “OMG, there is so much content on Version B”. Everyone should get it because it includes a HUUUUGE poster of her XD

Wakana says that the album is very Wakana-like (hence the title) but it also introduces a NEW Wakana so she is looking forward to everyone discovering those new facets of her. Wakana loves the dress she wears on the cover design because it’s super flowy. The wind was strong when they took those pictures so it almost looks like she has wings. She thinks that’s very fitting because she is leaping into a new direction, discovering new parts of herself. On a side note, the pose on her promotional picture was extremely uncomfortable but she likes the end result. She generally loves how the pictures turned out. The weather was lovely during the shoot as well. Wakana says that the cameraman is lucky because he always brings good weather with him (unlike Wakana who always brings rain with her - she notes that it has been raining all day in Tokyo). Nat points out that it didn’t seem to rain during the PV shooting so Wakana isn’t THAT unlucky. However, Wakana reveals that it did in fact rain that day (just a little though and the sky eventually cleared up to allow those grogeous final scenes).

Some more news about the release events, the clearfile tokutens, the tour dates, the LINE ticket lottery etc...

Wakana says she wants to show parts of her new self in the upcoming tour (of course this will involve her single and album). She thinks there will be a lot of people coming that don’t really know her from before so she really wants to leave a good impression. She has been thinking a lot about what to do for this tour. At any rate, she wants to create a warm and comfortable atmosphere. Lastly, some info about the new twitter account. It is going to be run by staff members because Wakana is absolutely clueless when it comes to Twitter. However, she thinks she might try to post once in a while. Nat then reads out a few comments by fans saying they will attend so and so many tour lives. Wakana is like, “I am gonna attend ALL of them!! So everyone, please come to all of them as well!”

It’s about time to end the program so Nat asks if Wakana has anything left to say. Wakana says they shouldn’t end the video so soon since it’s only been about 30 minutes. Nat then realises that she has failed to call Wakana by her nicknames. Wakana says it’s fine. She then goes on to thank everyone for this precious time. She had lots of fun talking with Nat and sharing some info. She feels grateful to all the fans who watched the LINE live. Wakana asks if Nat would mind if they talked a bit longer, she doesn’t want to force her but she is enjoying herself so much, she doesn’t want it to end yet. Nat doesn’t mind of course and she suggests they talk a little more about Wakana’s favourite topic...sharks. Obviously Wakana is more than excited and even interrupts Nat while she is about to ask a question. Wakana calms down and aplogises, asking Nat what she wants to know. Nat is curious what made Wakana fall in love with sharks. As we all know, she started out by liking dinosaurs. When Nat hears this she can’t believe it because she loves dinosaurs too. Wakana is beyond excited to have found a fellow dino-fan.

Nats asks if Wakana went to the dinosaur expo and Wakana is like, “dude, OF COURSE!” It was so cool. They are already making plans to go together to this year’s expo. Wakans says that she has loved dinosaurs ever since she watched Jurassic Park at the cinema with her father and brother. She was quite scared initially and her dad worried about her but she was fine at the end. The dinosaurs really impressed her. From that point on she was really into dinos and then she found out about the ancient shark megalodon. After that there was no turning back, she fell in love with sharks due to their awesomeness. She is happy the film MEG was released recently because now everyone knows how cool that shark is. Some more fangirling about sharks and dinosaurs. Nat states that this is the first time she has met a woman who is as passionate about dinosaurs as her. Wakana agrees, there aren’t many women with this kind of hobby.

Final info about the tour and some final words of gratitude to the viewers. She hopes everyone will join her on this journey in a new direction.Wakana has already decided on her tour goods and Nat is looking forward to seeing them. Right when they were waving goodbye they reached 20,000 viewers. BANZAI. 

#kalafina #my translations #summary #line live #wakana #toki wo koeru yoru ni

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Meet Me at the Chalet || epilogue.

Eventual pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Jenessee Borosi)

Word count: ~2.5k

Summary (I suck at these): Jenessee goes on a solo vacation after the release of her first novel. She got a little more than she bargained for when she gets snowed in with her biggest celebrity crush.

Warnings: Just fluff

night one. || day one. || day two. || day three. || day four. || day five. || day six. || last day. || one year later. || epilogue. || bonus. ||

To say these past two years have been hard would be an understatement. After we met up again, we stayed for the rest of the week to talk and figure out the most important details of this relationship we were entering into. Many hours of serious talks and making up for lost time, we jetted off and have been together ever since.

Being with him has been the most challenging but rewarding time of my life. I’ve also never been so terrified of losing someone before so I try and spoil him as often as I can to show him I appreciate him. After a long day of filming, I have a home-cooked meal ready for him as well as a cup of his favorite tea. I give him shoulder and back rubs if he’s stressed. Small gestures to show him how crazy I am about him.

Tom has also treated me like I’m the most special person in his life. He spoils me with small gestures as well as extravagant ones such as taking me to Norway for my birthday to explore my Norwegian roots and baking brownies for finishing the last book in my series. He’s been there for me for everything, to when I got overwhelmed while writing my books to similar situations we found ourselves in years before. They don’t happen very often but having him there for every single bad moment has made a world of a difference. He always shows me that he’s here for the long run, no matter what the world throws at us. He has truly become my rock, my confidante, my love, and my life. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have him.

After leaving the chalet, we flew to London to meet his family. My nerves were already on edge, but I was more worried about meeting Bobby. I was never a huge dog person, having grown up with cats. Don’t get me wrong, I like dogs. They’re too precious for this world and we don’t deserve them. He quickly became my baby though after meeting him. He was easy to love, just like his daddy.

When I did meet his family though, they welcomed me with open arms. They were elated to finally meet his “famous author girlfriend” who “stole our Tom’s heart.” They were getting tired of him only talking about me, our week together, and how he couldn’t wait to see me again. He was thoroughly embarrassed but I assured him that my best friend went through the same thing. They also loved the fact that Tom finally brought someone home. I was surprised how well I got along with them. It was more shocking that they had all read my book and loved it, wanting to know what else I had planned (apparently Tom made them all read it when he saw them after we met). 

And because of the series finally being finished, I’ve decided to reveal myself which is the reason why I’m backstage at Ellen. I told my agent when I first hired her that if I were to ever relinquish my anonymity I would want to do it on Ellen’s show. When my agent called the show, they were thrilled. 

So now I’m here, freaking out about the whole thing. Thankfully, Tom is here being the rock I need right now. He hasn’t left my side the entire morning. He made me breakfast, he held my hand on the ride over here, he sent me encouraging smiles when I glanced at him from the make-up chair, and now his arms are secured around my waist as I stand backstage. I’m just waiting for the show to start. I briefly met with Ellen, only adding to my nervousness. She raved about my books, having read the backs of all of them. Her joke broke some of the nervous tension but as soon as she left and a PA came in telling me I needed to take my place, it was back.

 “I’m so nervous, I’m shaking! I hate being the center of attention and I hate public speaking. Why did I decide to do this again?” I ramble, hearing Ellen’s monologue in the background.

“Because my darling, you deserve to be recognized. Your books are phenomenal, and everyone needs to know who the creative genius behind them is.” He placed a kiss on my temple. I tried taking a few deep breaths.

“I wish you could go out there with me,” I whine. “This would be so much easier if I had your hand to hold.”

“I know, love. However, I am looking forward to being the one backstage for once. I can be the proud boyfriend watching my love’s success.” His pride is beaming off of him in waves. Usually I’m the one filled with pride for him on the sidelines. It’s odd being on the receiving end but having someone being proud of me is an indescribable feeling.

“One minute, Miss Ehlby.” The PA warned. “Just walk out and around the chair, greet Ellen, and then take a seat.”

“Break a leg, darling.” He gives me a kiss before I hear Ellen.

“My first guest has just released the final book in her coveted book series that includes ‘Deny’ which she published with two different endings, not telling anyone. They created such pandemonium that she’s been the most sought after author to interview. She’s remained anonymous, using a pseudonym to stay out of the spotlight. Today she is finally ready to come out of the shadows. Please welcome J.J. Ehlby.”

The music started playing and the PA motioned for me to start walking. I followed the light out, doing exactly what the PA told me to do and what I’ve seen countless celebrities do every time I watched the show with my mom. I greeted Ellen with a hug before sitting down on the nice white chair so many famous people have said they’ve peed on.

“Hi J.J.!” She greets again when the audience and music have quieted down.

“Hi Ellen!” I smile back.

“Thanks for being here. I know you could have chosen any other show to do your first interview but clearly you chose the best.” The audience laughs.

“I did choose the best. I told my agent years ago that my first interview had to be on your show whenever I decided to throw my anonymity out the door.” The more words I said the more comfortable I felt. It doesn’t feel like I’m in front of hundreds of people and one of the funniest and kindest people in the world.

“So, why don’t you tell us about yourself? No one knows anything about you except you’re a great writer.” She asks the first question I was prepared for. I was given a list of questions she would be asking so I could know what was coming.

“Well thank you. That’s why I wanted to publish using a pseudonym. I wanted to be able to have my professional and private life be separate until all of the books I had planned came out. With the last book in stores now, here I am!”

“How did you come up with the pseudonym?” Question two.

I explain it the same way I did to Tom all that time ago, “My initials actually. With my name being Jenessee Julia Lynette Borosi, I wanted to still have it be connected to who I am, but not so close that people could easily figure it out. So it became a play on my initials, J, J, L, B.”

“That’s clever,” She comments. “I never would have guessed that.”

“Thank you. I thought so, too.”

“Let’s get to what everyone has been talking about since your books came out. You published two different endings.”

“I did.” I admit, smiling evilly to myself.

“And you didn’t tell anybody.”

“Nope! That’s what initially drew the publishers in. I had posted it online which somehow gained their attention. It wasn’t popular online due to it not having any references to vampires, werewolves, or any sort of fanfiction. But when they contacted me they told me they liked both endings that I had in mind, so I told them that I wanted to do both and not tell anyone. They were immediately on board. No one had ever done anything like this before, so I thought, ‘why not?’”

“And you did a sequel only for one of them?”

I nod, “Yes. With one of the endings, it was finite enough to where it didn’t need one. But the other ending left it open-ended on purpose so that I could write a sequel to it.”

After a few more questions about the books, she asked the one I was most anxious about, “Since you write about love and falling in love so well, do you have that in real life? Do you have that kind of love in your life?”

Tom and I haven’t been very public about our relationship. Only posting non-descript and non-identifying pictures of the other and we never tag the other. We were waiting for my identity to be revealed before we go public. It’s been more fun that way. The fans go nuts for every single picture Tom posts. Everyone wants to know who I am. It’s also given us a chance to get to build our relationship outside of the media. We’ve been very sneaky. It’s tiring but exhilarating at the same time.

“I didn’t while writing the first and second books.”

“But you do now.” She states, not questions.

“I do, yes.” I can’t help the smile on my face as I think about my love backstage watching this. He’s talked about me on a few occasions. After his first interview about the “Chalet Girl,” everyone has asked about it. He did give an update after we officially got together, but he obviously didn’t give any details as to who I was. I’ve always felt giddy knowing he was proud of talking about me. I could imagine that’s how he is feeling now.

Ellen teases me about the instant smile causing my whole face to go red.  “What’s his name? How long have you been together?”

“His name is Will. We’ve known each other for three years and have been officially together for two.” Tom and I decided to use the names we first gave each other to the media so no one would suspect anything, just like when we used them.

The rest of the interview went by smoothly. She asked a few more questions about my books and then surprised the audience with a signed copy of my first book.

The next day Tom and I headed to Burbank from Los Angeles so we could tape an episode of the Late Late show. We were going into it like we hadn’t met before so we could shock the world by revealing that we were actually together and have been for a while. Tom wanted to go public with our relationship on James’ show because that’s where he made his first interview about me and he’s sentimental. He’s all about things coming full circle… such a romantic man I’ve got.

We headed to our separate dressing rooms and taped our “intro” video a while later then we moved onto the actual interview portion. We sat on the blue couch, me being the closest to James, then Tom. We were told someone else would be joining us later for a different segment. He sat a safe distance away from me so no one would think anything was going on.

“Welcome to the show, J.J.!” James greets me.

“Thank you! I’m excited to be here.” I cross my legs at the knee and relax into the back of the couch.

“And good to have you back, Thomas.”

“Thank you, sir. It’s great to be back.” He’s also leaning back with his ankle crossed over his knee. He looks like an absolute snack and there’s nothing I can do about it… stupid interview.

James went on to ask me basically the same questions Ellen did yesterday, bringing up her interview a few times. I repeated my answers trying not to sound like I rehearsed them a million times beforehand. He’d also asked me about my boyfriend, like Ellen did.

“Speaking of lovers, Thomas, how are you and your ‘Chalet girl’? How long has it been now?” James asks Tom, segueing into his portion of the interview.

“We are wonderful. We celebrated two years together this month.” And what an amazing anniversary it was. We traveled to Italy where we indulged in so much pasta and pizza. We also each tossed a coin into the Trevi fountain and took a tour of the Sistine Chapel. It was absolute perfection. I didn’t want to come back.

“So, I take it you’re still pretty infatuated with her.”

“Oh James, I’m more than infatuated with her. She’s the love of my life.” He confesses, sending me a quick glance. “I fully plan on making her my wife someday.”

We’ve talked countless times about our future: where we would want to get married and who we want there, where we want to raise our 2-3 kids, where we would want to retire to if we ever were to- everything and anything that our future may hold. I’m so excited for that time. I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked.

“Am I ever going to meet this lucky girl? You’ve been so secretive!”

“You already have.” He promptly gets up, plopping down right next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders before grabbing my face and kissing me. 

“What?!” James gasped. “You two?!” He motions between us with the largest grin on his face. “She’s your ‘Chalet girl’?”

I stare at the man who I have fallen more and more in love with every day for the past three years. He looks at me with such love, devotion, pride… This wonderful man has shown me that I am worthy of love; worthy of his love. That I deserve this and so much more… and I truly believe I do now.

I bury my face in his neck as he answers, “As I mentioned before, she’s so much more than that.” His hand intertwined with mine on his lap. “I don’t know what I did to deserve an incredibly kind, funny, strong, independent, breathtakingly beautiful woman such as her in my life, but I’m the luckiest man. I really am.”

If my heart could fly, it would soar…

bonus...

Permanent taglist: @elusive-beauty @drakesfiance @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @fantasy-is-my-reality @hiddlephile @naniky

Taglist is CLOSED

#tom hiddleston #meet me at the chalet #mmatc #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston x female!reader #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston series

[yoosmekihyun]

BTS Concert Observations

The concert was so amazing and I feel incredibly grateful and lucky that I was able to go. The Fort Worth Convention Center had their shit TOGETHER. I saw the Wings Tour in LA at the Honda Center last year and the organization was a joke in comparison to Fort Worth. Serious kudos goes to the staff working. I also felt much better with all the cops in the venue too. They looked like they were not fucking around and I appreciated that considering the death threat Jimin received after the announcement of the concert. All the security made me feel certain that nothing was going to happen. 

I cried three different times during the show but for different songs so I’ll get into that below. I want to break down the show by members like I did for the Monsta X show. I’m going to put a cut for anyone who would rather move past this post. If that’s you, then you’re missing out! (But I do understand.)

When I talk about them with other fans I usually use their given names, but for those who may just be casual fans or BTS isn’t their cup of tea, I’m putting their given names and stage name (if applicable) to avoid confusion. 

Namjoon/RM - Our fearless leader looked FLAWLESS. I see why he says his best physical feature is his skin because he is seriously so gorgeous and he glows! I don’t believe the glowing is just due to his skincare though; I think a lot of it is coming to his own self love and acceptance. You could just tell that he was living his best life up on the stage and was having a blast the whole time.  When he came out and did his solo stage of “Love” I was such a proud ARMY. He just danced along that stage (alone!) and was totally jamming and exuding sheer joy. Considering his solo stage for Wings was “Reflection” and the lyrics were about wanting to love himself, this stage is a fully circle where he clearly is so happy and loving himself and his life. That energy was so satisfying and I got emotional later thinking about it all. His English has continued to improve and I love hearing him speak. I can’t even talk about the hip thrust to the camera during Baepsae. It happened and I’m still not over it. He made a little pun on both nights, from what I understand, and said that we were his “First Worth.” Then he laughed at himself while he apologized (but we know he’s really proud of that! Jin is rubbing off on him!). By the way, Nams, I saw those red converse. Miss Pearl approves. 

Seokjin/Jin - Jin looked like he was having so much fun on that stage, being silly and interacting with the fans. He got some of the loudest cheers and he shamelessly threw kisses at us throughout the show (and I would expect nothing less). One of the times I cried was during “Epiphany.” His voice has improved SO MUCH since debut and he hits me in the feels ever. single. time. The song already is very important to me for personal reasons and I resonate with it to a deep level. That aside, Jin’s interpretation of it takes it to a whole new level for me and I cried some ugly tears during his song. Jin was one I couldn’t stop looking at during “The Truth Untold.” I thought I was going to cry during it but I must have shed all my tears by that point or I was expecting to cry so I didn’t. It was still incredible, he’s incredible, and I love him. 

Yoongi/Suga - My ultimate of ultimates, my true unicorn, the untouchable standard no other man can reach, completely solidified his top spot for me. Not just as my bias in BTS but also the top spot among all my other group biases. The man is SO GORGEOUS and has the cutest smile and I don’t know if I’ve ever screamed so hard or so loud as I did for him during their introduction when he took his ear piece out to hear us. He made me clutch my heart SO MANY TIMES throughout the show. The second time I cried during the show was during Seesaw. During Seesaw, Pearl? Why did that make you cry? Let me tell you, dear reader, because it was an emotional journey to this point. It’s a given that he looked incredible (I mean, red is seriously that man’s color) and his stage presence is off the charts but I was completely moved by the growth I saw on that stage. Just like with Namjoon, seeing him where he is now to where he was during debut is INCREDIBLE and I couldn’t be more proud of him. I remember watching when he shouted his grievance to Bang PD about how he was told when he signed on that he wouldn’t have to dance but then they ended up always dancing. Seeing him dancing, in the middle, and with props during his solo stage had me shocked. On top of that he was SO GOOD. I got all proud and emotional to see how far he has come during all of this. Remember when he would pretend to sing and then screech the song at whoever he was trolling? His singing voice is just...I could listen to that deep sultry voice all day, every day, and never tire of it. I could continue to wax poetic about how amazing Yoongi sounds, looks, performs (you know, everything about him) but I’ll spare you, precious reader, since you’ve made it this far and I still have four other members to go.

Hoseok/Hobi/J-Hope -  His smile...Hobi really is pure sunshine and joy. He’s a true pleasure to watch on that stage and you can see that performance is his passion. His solo song was amazing (dancing on an elevated stage?! why you gotta stress me out like that, Hobi?!) and it was fun and such good energy, which is exactly how Hobi is. I was expecting to feel completely attacked by Hobi going into the show. I think I had my defenses up so I walk away pretty unscathed from his rudeness. Don’t get me wrong, he was VERY rude with all those hip thrusts and all the damn charisma but I was the most prepared for him going into the show so the others did so much more damage to my heart. I love hearing him speak in English - he’s gotten really good and his enunciation is fantastic. You can tell he’s been studying and you know this girl loves a man who cares enough to put forth that kind of effort. Hobi, you’re a darling and so precious and we really don’t deserve you. Thank you for loving us. <3

Taehyung/Tae/V - When I first got into the fandom, @jeonjagiya and I had several discussions about how Tae was going to be a serious problem as he got older and started filling out. That day has come my friends because Tae is LETHAL now. He looks amazing with that blonde hair, and yes I will admit, the mullet as well (I still prefer no mullet but if he’s happy, I’m happy). How can a man look so good in black leather and powder blue slacks? He makes every outfit look incredible and I just don’t understand that superpower. His dancing is really great and if he hadn’t been part of the dance line before, he would have earned it with his performance during this tour. THAT EYE GAME THOUGH. That’s the true panty melting power - it’s 100% unadulterated seduction and that is how he is climbing up my list.  When he looks into the camera like he’s seeing you with x-ray vision and then his sweet, adorable smile breaks through...I just....it shouldn’t be LEGAL. And his vocals! Ugh! He sent a shiver through my heart and into my loins and I know that’s what he was trying to do! I see you Kim Taehyung...I see you.

Jimin - Four words: I WAS NOT PREPARED. Let me just say, I love Jimin and I’ve always loved Jimin. He’s a precious sweetheart and I want to take care of him. Before the concert, I saw him as kind of like a sweet younger brother or cousin. After the concert, Park Jimin is officially my number 2 and I definitely don’t have the same kind of caretaker vibes after that. More like he’s the hot neighbor next door with FREAKING ABS THAT HE TRIES TO HIDE... but he accidentally on purpose makes sure you can get a good look at them from time to time. I can’t...I don’t even fully understand how this happened. I think he got me with the feels and then hit me with the sex appeal. The first time I cried during the show was during “Serendipity.” That song always gets me misty and watching him perform the extended version pushed me over the edge. But the choreography for it was so much sexier than I was expecting and he was in tight black pants and this sexy black button up with sparkles so he was shining like the star he is. Then, during “The Truth Untold” I couldn’t stop watching him with all the emotion on his face. They put him in this ugly pink sweater thing with a scarf and I didn’t even care because his face told the story and he made it feel like he had felt the events of the song and lived it. Well done, Jimin, well done. I officially will never underestimate your abilities to win me over again. 

Jungkook - Jungkook sounded and looked incredible. He was stable and all of his dancing is so on point. I found myself wondering about some of the events that were shown during Burn the Stage and thinking about the pressures he must feel as the main vocalist and center. He seemed happy and like he was having a lot of fun during the show and that’s what makes him so fun for me to watch. His English has improved DRAMATICALLY. He may have improved more than anyone else. He spoke to us only in English and he took his time to pull together his thoughts into very clear sentences. He spoke quite a bit and I felt very proud of him after everything was said and done. “Euphoria” (his solo stage) was great - I get so amazed at the ability of singing well and clearly while dancing so hard. I know there’s lots of practice involved but Jungkook always impresses me when it comes to performance. This show was no exception.

To wrap it all up: If you ever get a chance to see BTS, it’s well worth the money (and I feel this way about all the groups I’ve seen thus far). The energy of the group with fellow ARMY is truly amazing. The fandom is diverse and it’s wonderful to see all ages, genders, and nationalities at the show. Watching and listening to native English speakers sing along in Korean always blows me away and the larger cultural significance of BTS and kpop in general is not lost on me, especially in those moments. I will be forever grateful to Iris for introducing me to BTS and kpop because the joy I’ve gotten from it is immeasurable. 

#that ended up way longer than i thought #i just have a lot of feels #bts world tour #bts love youreslf #bts in forth wroth