#I am using WAY too much hashtags for my own good

[ineffablydelighted]

[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 2/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.

'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello! 👋

Hope you are doing well since Part 1 😇 If you have not read it, you're losing a significant part of this analysis and I encourage you to please read it first 🥰 [because, well, it has been called Part 1 for a reason, hum-hum]

Now that we are in the sole company of Part 1's survivors, let's dive into Part 2 [THIS PART MIGHT BE LONGER, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, ANGELS!] 😎

[This gif is here to entice you to grab a snack and a drink you might fancy because, TRUST ME, I do not know how to shut up when I'm analyzing things and you're here for a long a** time. I know it is super hot outside for some of us but we can totally PRETEND it rains and cosy up in our favorite blanket. Remember: Autumn/Fall is a mindset, not a season.]

As I previously announced, the next bit of my analysis [and the next idk how many parts tbh, I'm a mess, but I believe I'll treat two encounters by part - told you this was gonna be LONG, don't hate me, homie 😣] will treat Aziraphale and Crowley's every S1 & S2 encounter, explaining why Aziraphale slowly falls in love with Crowley and using their dynamic to try my best to explain what Good Omens must be about as a whole.

Ready?

Let's go!

Before the Beginning

In S2, Aziraphale meets Then-Angel "Crowley" (as we do not know his angelic name, we'll have to stick to that) and that is also the first and only time we, the audience, see him.

What does Aziraphale see in Angel Crowley?

First, he is super dynamic and cheerful: he really seems to ADORE creating stars [ask me to show you a nerdy dork before nerdy dorks even existed and Angel Crowley will always be my #1 from now on] but, also, he is already very frank, straightforward, and innovative (he invented the suggestion box sole concept, I believe 🤔)

[By the way, my take on this is that Angels, having been an active part in Creation, have the ability to create Concepts out of nothing but their own minds, and since they also have a "beehive system" [As S2 Crowley states when he is "arrested" by Cinnamon-Roll-In-Chief Muriel and is "brought" to Heaven], the Concept created becomes instantly real for every other Angel in the universe.]

That worries Aziraphale instantly: he watches everywhere around him, afraid someone higher-ranked is listening.

This scene is very important because that shows us what differentiates Crowley and Aziraphale the most throughout the entire book/show: 

Aziraphale has somewhat of a Fear of God (which is encouraged by most religions: God is Right, always, you are nobody to state the opposite) that Crowley does not have because he has Trust (which is still having Faith, just a more optimistic one - most times.)

Crowley is, first and foremost, a creator at heart.

He loves creating things, he develops a bond with his creations, and cannot fathom how the Creator with a capital "C" wouldn't either.

That is why he does not mind stating out loud that creating a star factory for it to serve nothing is "idiocy"; even worse, to not even let it follow its natural course? It feels utterly wrong to him! 

Then-Angel Crowley already has his own understanding of what Creation is all about, while Aziraphale, being a "people" pleaser through and through, follows the mass, no questions asked, definitely no suggestions.

That first conversation holds their first debate as well:

Are they, as Angels, simple executors or are they collaborators? And, to go further: what is the point of THEM altogether?

Although, Aziraphale does not engage in the said debate for long.

Especially when Angel Crowley says:

"Well, you know, if I was the one running it all, I'd like it if someone asked questions! Fresh point of view!"

That is the precise moment Aziraphale starts PANICKING out of the Fear of God I mentioned earlier:

In his eyes, Crowley commits the utmost BLASPHEMY the minute he tries to PUT HIMSELF AT GOD'S PLACE.

That is precisely how Angels FALL: In the Bible, God expresses their wrath whenever Humans and Angels alike defy/deny their authority/their Almightyness.

Out of terror, Aziraphale tries to distract Angel Crowley by bringing his attention back to his creation. He ends up genuinely worrying for him and expresses it:

"Look, word to the wise; I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble."

Angel Crowley thanks him for his concern and says this sentence so full of dramatic irony because we, the audience, already know what will happen to him:

"I wouldn't worry, though; How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

Then, Angel Crowley will show an act of kindness and concern of his own by protecting Aziraphale from the explosions (Fire).

It will also create Alpha Centauri in the process.

[I'm not sure why he does it but I do have a theory:

Since he never created a Nebula before and Aziraphale had not been a part of this project at any point, he might have been afraid that God and/or the Nebula's creators had somewhat forgotten to include all the other Angels in the "do not harm" category.]

But would it be what Aziraphale remembers the most about this encounter? I do not believe so.

As he will constantly do over the ages, he will miss the POINT:

I believe Aziraphale mostly associates this encounter with the moment he saw Crowley as his HAPPIEST.

And joy, both as a concept and a state of mind is something really, really important to Aziraphale.

[PURE JOY right there. Also, I need my doors to creek like that.]

4004 BC, Garden of Eden

In S1, During this encounter, the Cherubim/Guardian of The Eastern Gate Aziraphale meets the Demon Crawley for the first time since the latter has fallen.

What makes me think that is that Aziraphale asks for his name.

But there are indications they have met prior (both as angels, I mean, and not just at the Beginning): Crawley asks Aziraphale about the flaming sword that has been given to him in the past.

More so, it is most likely that Aziraphale showed him the sword.

"You did, it was flaming like anything, what happened to it?"

I'll even go further by stating they must have been somewhat friends during that elapse, for two reasons:

One, because of this sentence Crawley says:

"Lost it already, I mean?"

Meaning: you have a tendency to lose things and I would not know that if we hadn't met plenty of times.

 Two, because Aziraphale answers HONESTLY to Crawley's question.

That becomes even more baffling when we discover that, being asked the same question later on, Aziraphale proceeds to LIE TO GOD'S FACE.

What really interests me about this encounter, in particular, is how at ease (even if he is experiencing stress because of the flaming sword's situation) Aziraphale feels by Crawley's side, even though he is now a Demon.

Sure, he does insist on Crawley's new nature and that is most certainly because he is thinking in dichotomy, but

He feels safe enough around him to be honest and, more importantly, vulnerable. Deep down, he already knows Crawley will never use that information against him.

[And that, Angels, is the cutest thing ever, amr?]

Also, as they always will over the years, they will

Have a debate on what is Right and what is Wrong.

Aziraphale is worried he might have done the wrong/bad thing by giving Adam his flaming sword.

However, he acted out of kindness and empathy, which Crawley is very receptive to. Aziraphale can see that and also that Crawley tries to reassure him by saying:

"Oh, you're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing"

But then, being his honest self, he contemplates whether or not HE might have done the right thing, crushing Aziraphale's brief moment of rest.

But, contrary to Aziraphale, it does not worry him that much: he had fallen already, so he learned a thing or two about Heaven and Hell and has started not to care about their opinions at all since they did not care about his when he was actually invested in the Ineffable Plan.

[Also, I just love how Crawley, by being the one who gives Eve the apple, is the official Earthy Creator of Free Will™ (even if God and Satan must have been its sponsors) - it does align with his sense of self since the suggestion box falls into the same thinking pattern.]

During their debate, Aziraphale totally misses Crawley's whole POINT (again): 

Crawly states that God WANTED Free Will to be introduced.

Otherwise, they would not have made it remotely possible for humans to gain access to it. By that, he also implies (at least) three things:

One: God created the Tree that holds the Forbidden Apple, even if they called it Forbidden. They'd put it on sight, in the middle of Eden, not outside of it. They let Satan send Crawley to tempt Eve who later temps Adam.

Meaning: God and Satan are, on occasion if not all the time, working TOGETHER and playing their own game, so why wouldn't THEY?

Two: If there is such thing as Fallen Angels/Demons, it is because God WANTS it in the first place. 

Meaning: Therefore, how can their actions be BAD as in "wrong" or as in "shouldn't happen"?

Three: If a Demon can, in fact, do Good/Right and an Angel can do Bad/Wrong actions, are they, really, that different? How much do their actions matter anyway? How is that even possible for them to do the opposite of their apparent purpose? Unless, of course, God WANTS it that way.

Meaning: Good and Bad are much more INTERTWINED and CODEPENDENT than what Heaven and Hell appear to make them believe.

In fact, Crawly is already starting to believe Good and Bad MUST. ALWAYS. COEXIST. no matter WHO does it.

UNLESS, of course, they... do not exist at all?

Is there, really, Good or Bad anyway?

[I've tried to warn you through the tags: philosophy haters, the floor is now LAVA.]

Aziraphale does not think like that at all. That kind of belief shakes him, but being his Angels = Good = Right self, he refuses to believe it.

Also, he considers it as Blasphemy and Temptation.

But, guess what, that is normal. During this debate,

Aziraphale does not interpret why God put the Forbidden Fruit in the middle of Eden the way Crawley does.

Aziraphale does not think of the Ineffable plan like that: to him, he is supposed to do what he is TOLD.

In other words, Aziraphale's theory is that

God is TESTING its creations, and the creations/subordinates in question must prove they are stronger because they respect/fear God MORE than they are inclined to follow their own wishes.

It is a very common religious belief if not THE most common.

Crawley is more... let's say "Oscar Wilde-ish" in his thinking. [The -ish is important here, the man was very paradoxical but that was the first that came to my mind]

[I would like to drop in here some glimpse of cinematographic analysis as well [because this is MY essay and I can do whatever the Hell that I want.] :

During the debate per se, they never share the screen, even though they are willing to talk peacefully and respectfully - hence the fact both actually turn to each other, look at each other, etc.

Basically, their debate is a true one, but none will change their minds anytime soon.] 

They find common grounds to "Agree to Disagree" when Aziraphale protects Crawley from Earth's very first Rain (Water)

Why does Aziraphale do it? In my opinion, probably for the same reason Then-Angel Crowley did it: The rain could have been God's way to destroy the Demon who was there, since Fire is, at that point, already related to Satan.

[Well, even if it was God who gave Aziraphale a flaming sword... Good and Bad are ALWAYS totally mixed up in Good Omens. See?]

It was a gesture of protection, courtesy, and empathy. A "just in case this is a danger for you" act.

[I might go back to this part to add some things as I will soon rewatch very carefully both seasons in case I miss something - and I will, because I'm chaotic AF. Although, this girl likes to think of herself as being thorough when she puts in an effort.]

So, yeah, this book/show is very interesting to me because, as I've stated in the tags and as I'm trying to prove to you (and to myself) in this very lengthy analysis,

Good Omens is a philosophical essay disguised as comedic/satyric/romantic fiction.

It does not mean it is NOT a comedic/satyric/romantic fiction, though. Of course not! It is both. And many other things in between.

[Now, I'll let that sink in and give both of us a well-deserved break.]

[Friendly Space Ninja, I know you'll never see this but I'm manifesting all the admiration and respect I can to wish you a good day.]

During Part 3, we'll treat the next two of our favorite pair's encounters:

S1 3004 BC (Noa's Arch, The Flood) and S2 2500 BC (Job's case).

Can't wait, I'm a big fan of the Job's episode.

Toodles, Angels! See you soo-oooooooon!

[Do you hate me by now? Nah? It will come.]

Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇

Previous - Beginning - Next

#Ineffable Husbands #Good Omens Analysis #Good Omens #Good Omens S1 #Good Omens S2 #Aziraphale in love #Good Omens Theory #Aziraphale #Crowley #Aziracrow #Effable the Ineffable #Philosophy #Good Omens is a philosophical essay disguised as comedic/satyric/romantic Fiction and I am here to prove it #I really have too much time on my hands #Y all hate me now #I am using WAY too much hashtags for my own good

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

How about Vox successfully installs a hidden camera in Charlie and Vaggies room for sexy blackmail. But is pissed all the footage he has is cute fluffy hugs and kiss. Nothing explicit at all.

i think if the V's tried this... they would regret it SO fast and probably be scarred for life in the process XD

Vox: "The lack of risk research in this new venture of ours... astounding."

Valentino: "Aw kitty, what better way to keep track of Lucifer's bimbo daughter Charles than by keeping a little camera tucked away in her bedroom?"

Vox: "Pointed at her bed? ONLY her bed?"

Velvette: "Imagine the BLACKMAIL. Hashtag cancel little miss Morningstar!"

Valentino: "Her and her spicy lady are soooooo pruuuudish and so WHOLESOME about that shit stain hotel of theirs- just think of what they'd do not to be the new stars of hell's porn scene?"

Vox: "I'm thinking, if they DON'T mind, their ratings will skyrocket."

Valentino: "....ah."

Velvette: "Oh come on flat screener, there's no way they'd ever be ok with-"

Vox: "And if they DO mind, Lucifer will take us all off the air so fast the cameras will still be rolling while our own heads start to."

Velvette: "FUCK."

Vox: "Am I the only one here actually forecasting audience reactions??"

Velvette: "I HATE BORN LUCKY GIRLS AND THEIR TOP DOG DEMON DADS!"

Valentino: "We can at least heckle their boring sex life privately, yeah?"

Vox: "If they even HAVE one."

Velvette: "Heads up. They're getting into bed now."

Valentino: “Oooooh and they’ve brought equipment~!”

The V’s: “………………”

Valentino: "..... is that. Paperwork?"

Velvette: "Oh hell no."

Vox: "Birds of a feather. If Alastor can be so chummy with them, then-"

Valentino: "They're doing- they’re- fucking doing PAPERWORK in bed!? Together!?? INSTEAD of each other? That’s IT?????"

Velvette: "This is sick. I'm gonna be sick."

Valentino: "AND THEY'RE ENJOYING IT???"

Velvette: "Hhrrrk-"

Vox: "Cut the feed. Destroy the camera. I can feel the static of their domestic fuzzy feel-good lives overtaking my entire network, program by program, station by station." (clutches tv head) "This would be less unsettling if they were a pair of MUPPETS... Fuck this." (deletes camera)

-five minutes later-

Charlie: “You know what Vaggie?”

Vaggie: “What, sweetie?”

Charlie: "I love how much easier doing the hotel budget is when we have each other to cross check it! Frees up a lot more time!"

Vaggie: "Me too babe. Though I kinda still think I love you more."

Charlie: (smiles softly) "Yeah..?"

Vaggie: (leans in) "...yeah."

Charlie: (grins) "Wanna fuck nasty about it?"

Vaggie: (grins back) "I’ll get the toybox."

-meanwhile-

Valentino: “WAIT! ….I feel a disturbance in the fuck! As if two people are having really kinky gay sex right now, and I’m missing out on exploiting it!”

Velvette: (still nauseous) “I’ll exploit my fist to your face if you don’t shut up.”

Vox: “Velvette.”

Velvette: “Oh you know don’t mean it, darling~ Much.”

Vox: “Fair enough.”

Velvette: “Paperwork, blegh. They were using, actual PHYSICAL bits of paper… I’m gonna have fucking nightmares.”

Valentino: “This IS my nightmare!”

Vox: “Welcome to hell, Val.”

#hazbin hotel #chaggie #vox hazbin hotel #velvette hazbin hotel #valentino hazbin hotel #suggestive #incorrect quotes #tbh i think Keekee would find and eat the camera mere seconds after it got turned on #or niffty discovers it while pest controlling and #just #Stares into it #for Hours #it creeps the fuck out of valentino when he goes back through the recoding #he's jumpy for WEEKS afterwards XD

[hornyjorny]

following the river

summary: almost a frame-by-frame fanfic of river's scene in-game, but better :3 ish!! an- guys i am so fucking sorry i haven't posted in fucking AGES i've been absolutely dogged with work n shit and i'm depressed as fuck. anyway. here's to my loyal river fans (all twelve of us) hashtag justice for river ward ive literally spent months on this for no reason warnings- smut (18+ mdni), cowgirl, first time, you're both nervous as fuck, multiple positions, switch!v, switch!river, fucking the police, johnny ment, oral (f receiving and very brief lol), missionary, mild angst with cavity-inducing sweetness at the end, river and v are very much in love, cuddles

wc: 9.2k

If you had told yourself you’d be spending the night with an NCPD badge a month ago, you woulda’ laughed in your very own fuckin’ face. But between those heated kisses and those soft, hushed whispers, River Ward leads you by the hand into the silence of his bedroom— and it all feels far too unreal. 

But the truth is, reality is a bitch. And now here you are, tangled in a contradiction of your own making. Guess you misunderstood the whole “FUCK THE POLICE” thing. 

He oughtta be chasing you down, not holding you close. But fuck, this whole situation with River is just so thrilling, and it’s absolutely undeniable that he’s more than just some badge. 

There’s kindness, there’s goodness in him that transcends that old, dumbass uniform he used to wear. Night City may be bleeding, and Johnny Silverhand may be a relentless presence in your head, but River offers something more—a promise of a future beyond the consistent chaos as he leads you into the quietness of the trailer. 

To be honest, you’re not sure if you’re entirely in love with River— sure, you’re attracted, and sure, your heart beats a million times faster when he’s around, and sure, you think about him all the fucking time, but shit, you don’t know love. But fuck, whether you deserve it or not, there’s just something about him, you don’t know what feels… safe. 

River represents something you’ve never really had: hope. The hope for a promise of an actual future— a real-ass life. Not just surviving but living— happily, at that. 

And for tonight, that’s enough.

Never before have you encountered someone as gentle, as fucking sweet as River. His kindness, his sincerity, it's like a lifeline amid chaos. But with each tender moment, each stolen kiss, you can't shake the gnawing feeling of guilt eating away at you. Oh, how you don’t want to feel this way, but here you are regardless, falling and falling for River, and allowing yourself to embrace the sensation of being vulnerable in more ways than one. And oh— is it such a bad time to catch feelings; your time on this earth is limited. 

You’re a merc, one with a ticking timebomb of a narcissistic rockerboy lodged into your head, just waiting to take over your body, waiting for you to finally kick the bucket so he can take control. You’re not exactly girlfriend material. You’re neither beautiful nor are you admirable. You are tired. You are bruised.

You're a mercenary, a killer by trade, and here you are, falling for a cop—a man dedicated to upholding the law you so often break.  

You know you should push River away, distance yourself before it's too late. But goddamn it, you can't bring yourself to do it. 

It’s almost funny, you think. Funny to have found a love oh-so-precious—oh-so beautiful, only to have it ripped away from you by a little piece of plastic nestled in your skull. River’s warmth, his unwavering support, it's all both a blessing and a curse. You desperately want to hold onto this love, to cherish every moment you have left, but the knowledge that your time is running out gnaws at your very soul. 

You sigh. Fuck, you know you can’t think about this now— you know it’s best to enjoy the moment rather than to trouble yourself with the moral implications of it all right now. You’ll destroy yourself otherwise. 

And little do you know, but River’s thoughts are mirroring your own. He's fucking scared, terrified of the way you've woven yourself into the fabric of his life. As a detective, he's seen the darkest corners of Night City, the horrors that lurk in the shadows. But when it comes to you, he's lost, unsure of how to navigate the maze of emotions that swirl within him.

You're the very embodiment of everything he's sworn to protect the city against. And yet, he can't help but fall for you. Behind the walls you've erected to shield yourself from the world, he sees the vulnerability, the genuine warmth that draws him to you like a moth to a flame. But there's a part of him that fears the truth, that fears what he might discover if he delves too deep into your world. And as you stand together in the silence of the night, wrapped in each other's arms, you can't help but wonder if this fragile bubble of happiness is destined to burst, leaving nothing but broken pieces in its wake.

The linoleum floor creaks beneath your steps as River leads you further, navigating the narrow hallway. Anxiety continues to brew within him—shit, he just hopes you like him back.

He hopes his choice is right. He hopes he made the right choice by bringing you around.

But all of the chaos, all the fear building within, completely evaporates away when his eyes finally meet yours, his anxiety dissipating into nothingness. Tonight, all he wants is for the two of you to be one, where nothing in the world matters. It makes everything else seem so distant and minuscule, and that, oh, it’s the closest thing to heaven that he’s ever known.

Nothin’ else matters—except for the moment.

River pauses at one of the entryways, silently gesturing to his niece and nephew, sleeping peacefully. You understand what he’s communicating to you immediately.

You two need to be quiet tonight.

Tonight is the perfect time to forget that you’re a mercenary and he’s a cop. No badges, no guns, no uniforms—and no parasitic rockstar in your head, either. Just you and him.

So you nod your head in acknowledgment as you ease past the kids and follow him into the silence of his bedroom. Your stomach flutters in your chest; oh, fuck, you feel like a couple of giddy-ass teenagers. 

You’re relentless, in all the right ways. Your desperation to feel River, to kiss him— it’s intoxicating. Once the door clicks shut, you immediately rise up on your tippy-toes with zero hesitation to press your lips against his; you could do nothing else. 

Fucking finally. 

One kiss, and you know you’re addicted to the taste of his lips on your own. You know then, that nothing else could give you such a natural high. You must confess, that your thoughts are impure, and the fire is burning within your bones. Shit, it excites you so much, just the idea of riding him absolutely senseless— you’re gonna fuck away his entire moral compass by the end of the night. 

It’s as your lips press together, with all the desire arousal, and heat you have to offer, a wave of cruel exhaustion washes over you as River embraces you, finally making its way to the forefront of your mind. His warmth almost feels like a blanket, of sorts, soft and comforting.

A soft pleased hum escapes River’s lips as he presses himself against you, moving his hands to grip the back of your head tightly, returning your kiss with the same raw passion. His arms are wrapped around your waist, his body pressing against yours— fuck, it feels so nice to be held by a body that feels like home. 

And for once, it's not Johnny who takes over your thoughts, but River. You need him—now. The heat of his lips on yours is fucking intense. It's like everything else in the city fades away, and for once, even Johnny’s presence is just a distant buzz in your mind.

And all there is, that's all that matters—River, you, and the rest warmth of his lips pressed against yours.

Your fingers claw at the fabric of his tank top, holding onto him tightly as you kiss him with every ounce of passion that’s been building up within you for entirely too long. You’ve wanted this—you’ve fucking needed this, needed to feel the warmth of another in a world so dauntingly cold. 

Every breath feels new, every sensation is amplified, and all you can focus on is River. River, River, River. He’s real, and you feel him like never before. He’s yours, and you’re his. 

Your breath is getting shorter, and your thoughts are being consumed with just one word: more. More, more, more. You need to feel his love. 

How good it feels to have something real. And fuck, is it nice to have something else on your mind except for your impending and unavoidable death. No Johnny, no Arasaka, no Relic. Just you. Just him. Just two desperate people wanting desperately to cling to the idea of feeling alive for just one night.

You practically moan into his mouth as you lean back, letting his strong, secure arms wrap around your body. You press your body up into his, craving his warmth, craving his presence, craving him. It’s like you’re slipping into a deep trance-like state, one where all that matters in this very instant is River, this one fucking detective, this one stupid badge. 

“River,” you whine quietly. “I need you.”

The words slip out before you even have time to stop them, the sound of them leaving your ears ringing. 

Fuck, does he feel like the luckiest person alive when you utter those little words, the sound of them barely audible against the city’s distant hum? For such a tough merc, you sound so cute—so needy, that it makes his heart jump in his chest. It’s such an unexpected, quick change for you, and you swear you catch his mechanical eye shining a little brighter as his rough hands graze against your hips. His body presses tightly against yours, lowering his voice to a whisper that makes your tummy flutter.  

“Shhh… I know ya do, V…” 

The words feel so foreign slipping from his lips, but god, he can’t help it.  River leans even closer to you until you can feel the warm breath of his body tingling inside your ear—his lips press up against your neck softly, trailing little wet kisses up and down the sensitive skin there. 

“Just let go…” 

River whispers again, moving his hand down your back and caressing the skin that he can feel through the thin fabric of your shirt. His lips flutter up and down along your neck, nibbling gently on your skin. Rough, calloused hands trace down your body, before pulling your hips to his so there’s no space between you. 

River’s voice turns deep; husky. 

“Just let go of everything but me…” 

After all, he’s done for the city, for the world, no one has ever wanted him in such a way that they wanted him, not just his title, his body, but the person behind the piercing glow of his mechanical eye. 

River’s ganic hand trails gingerly up and down your torso, his fingers playing gently with the fabric of your shirt as his lips press against your neck. The delicate sensation sends ripples of pleasure through your core— fuck— you’re getting wet. 

His words trigger an immediate response from you. Excitedly, you push back against him as you moan quietly in his ear, fingers digging into the fabric of his red tank top— breath halting in your chest, growing shorter and more agitated. You raise on your tippy toes, attempting to return the favor by kissing his neck. 

As you push yourself forward, pressing yourself against him, pushing a hand behind his neck, your fingers grip tight along the back of his neck. Slowly, you brace one hand on his chest, your thumb rubbing along the hard muscle that hides below his shirt, your other hand falling to fidget with the neckline of his tank.  

You can feel it— he’s muscular; he’s strong and hard. He’s aboutta be all yours, and the thought alone makes you feel weak, weak in the knees with how hot he is.

When you’re slipping your hands below his shirt to feel the skin beneath, River’s steadiness finally falters. Unknowingly, he backs up into his desk, causing an empty beer bottle to topple over— crashing to the floor in the silence of the trailer.

Fuck. 

For a brief moment, panic seizes over your entire being. Shit. Your heart pounds in your chest, shit, shit, shit— what if you woke everyone up with the crash? What if he’s upset with you for pulling such a gonk move, fuckin’ shoving him into his desk? What about the mess? 

You swear you’re doomed. 

But to your surprise, River's expression softens, a hint of amusement dancing in his mechanical stare. Was his amn fault for being so clumsy, anyway. 

When the warmth of his lips caress yours, you feel a deep wave of relief. Thank fuck— you think to yourself as you realize that your actions didn’t cause all hell to break loose. 

Instead, he’s too amused by your excitement, and that only serves to turn you on all the more. Hell— River finds it adorable how badly you want him. He can deal with the mess later. He’s too lost in you, too lost in the tide of passion to give a shit. Instead, his focus is entirely on you, and all rational thought is overshadowed. 

His hands find their way to either side of your face, his touch gentle yet possessive, as if he's determined to memorize every curve and contour of your face. River stops, an urgent whisper, his voice barely above a breathy murmur. 

“You've got me. Don't let go. Don't let this moment, this feeling—this feeling of you and me, don't let it end.”  

But before you can even process the full weight of River’s words, his lips crash into yours with a fervor that leaves you breathless. It’s like a tidal wave, consuming you with its intensity, and you find yourself melting into his embrace without hesitation. You’re safe. 

In turn, you respond eagerly, matching his passion with your own, hands roaming freely across his back, pulling him closer with every passing moment. River hums to himself when your smooth lips part upon the brush of his tongue against you— feeling just right. You feel a surge of electricity coursing through your veins, fueling that consuming lust that just keeps on burning brighter and hotter in your lower tummy. 

You guide his strong hands, urging him to explore every inch of your being, to revel in the depths of your desire as you surrender yourself completely to the intoxicating bliss of the moment. You need him. The feeling of his sends shivers down your spine, you realize that this—this connection, this unspoken bond—is what you've been searching for all along. In River's arms, you find solace. In his kiss, you find passion. And in that little bit of love between you, you find home.

Like you, River’s mind has started to go hazy, his body filled with heat as he pulls you in tighter, desperate to feel everything at once. 

The embrace of your lips turns heated, desperate, his teeth brushing against your bottom lip. Shit, he can’t believe you’re allowing him to touch you like this— he feels like the luckiest fucker in the world. The heat rising in his body is nothing short of intense, it feels so right. 

But he needs more. 

River pulls away to break the kiss, his gaze slides across your body, admiring you silently, taking note of every little curve, burning through you, silently admitting how lucky he is. Oh, how he never realized desire could be so engulfing until this moment, with you staring right up into his eyes with a vulnerability he cannot ignore. It makes him feel fuckin’ stupid— like he could live in this moment forever. 

His movements are slow and deliberate. It's enough to send your heart pumping, your chest heaving, your breath coming in short gasps. When you meet his steely gaze, it feels like his mechanical eye is bearing into your soul. 

River moves a palm up to cup your cheek lovingly, before nodding his head in the direction of his bed— a silent command. You immediately know what he’s attempting to communicate. You know what comes next. 

And you’re just dying to see it through. 

A little rush of pure excitement overtakes you as you rush to the bed, while River turns around for a brief moment. Without a second thought, without any semblance of hesitation, you’re immediately beginning to fumble with the straps of your gear, allowing it to fall all to the ground. Every movement of yours feels like a wave of electric pulsing through your body, a rush of adrenaline that leaves you panting— leaving your mind blurry with need. 

While he’s got his back turned, you rip off your sweats, letting them fall to the ground. Immediately after, you’re ripping off the thin tank you’re wearing, slipping your bra right off with it, fully exposing your bare chest to the coolness of the night air. A little excited shiver runs down your spine, your nipples perking up and stiffening as a result of the temperature drop. 

And before you know it, you’re almost naked— wearing nothing but a soaked, think pair of panties, wanting him, needing to have him—not Johnny, but River, just River…

You catch the soft mechanical glow of his eye in the mirror on the closet door. For a brief moment, your breath catches in your throat. 

The glow in the reflection dims as he stares. Your heart beats so fast you feel dizzy from the rush. You know he’s watching you just as you’re watching him. And without saying a word, you both know what you want— he finally turns around. 

Fuck—you, the most dangerous mercenary in the whole fuckin’ city, is laying before this dumbass detective, wearing nothing but your panties. And oh, you’re so helplessly wet over some cop to the point where you can already feel the moisture soaking through them. You can’t control yourself, you can’t control the way your fingers keep on trailing lower, beginning to push away the dampened strip of fabric in between your legs. 

A breath breaks from your mouth as you toss your panties aside. It’s sudden, a bit of a surprise even. But you’re done wasting time. The air feels cold on your exposed cunt, but fuck, you don’t care—besides, the heat he’s making you feel is enough to keep ya’ warm. 

Gently, your lips tremble with each passing moment... your body is fuckin’ craving him more and more with every moment that passes with him staring directly at your messy pussy. You can’t take it. You allow yourself to be completely vulnerable, your arms trailing behind you as he draws near. Your eyes flutter as you anticipate him being near, letting him take you completely... letting him take you in.

River’s eyes are locked onto your body— he’s in shock. Fuck. Jesus Christ, every second you’re up looking at him with pathetic, needy eyes makes his cock tremble in his pants. Both of River’s eyes, amber and mechanical pierce through you, just craving you in ways he's never craved fuckin’ anyone. And oh, you love the euphoric burning feeling that rises in your tummy when you feel him stare. A little blush settles across your face, you feel some wetness slide down from your aching cunt. You arch your back a little as River approaches you. 

Fuck. You can’t wait. You reach out, pulling your fingers tight around his hips as you pull him down to the bed with you. You can't wait another second to be with him and you pull him down with you on the bed. Before he can even process what’s happening, you’re beginning to lift his tanktop, and by Christ, you’re not disappointed when you finally reveal what’s underneath. 

You’re not religious, but in the darkness of his bedroom, you’ve found something holy. Immediately, your eyes trail down, taking note of every little freckle and scar that litters his tan skin. Fuck— he’s perfect. You press your lips against his chest, trailing little wet kisses down his body... each kiss burning into both of you, each kiss driving you both that much closer to desperation. You’re unaware of the self-restraint he's exercising to keep himself from pushing you onto the bed and just fucking you right then and there. River’s working every ounce of self-control he has as you trail your lips down his chest, letting each kiss linger just enough to tease him. 

In the dark room, you worship him with your touch, with a love that’s so undoubtedly wrong. 

Your eyes drift up to his, and it’s over for you both. Gently, you slide your hands slooowly down River’s torso, making him squirm as your hand trails lower and lower, fingers beginning to move to slowly undo his pants. And fuck, It takes him every little bit of lasting resistance and strength he has to let you touch without intervening. 

But shit— you aren’t gonna let River off that easy, no fucking way. You’re gonna fuckin’ savor this—every second of it all. Your lips trail down his clothed thigh with a subtle grin, wrapping your fingers around the waistband of his boxers, slowly pulling them down inch by inch. He wants you to pull them off immediately but you're going slow, savoring every little cute expression he’s pulling, savoring the way he bites into his lip, hard. 

 River’s getting more and more frustrated by the second but damn you're just enjoying the thrill of it all, watching your most favorite detective bend to your whims like an obedient, well-trained dog. You're teasing him and savoring each and every second of it, every little moment of him letting out pathetic heavy sighs, every moment of his cock straining against the fabric of his jeans. 

But you’re growing impatient. 

You begin to tug at his waistband, attempting to pull his jeans down his thighs with a not-so-secret smug-ass grin. You’ve got him wrapped around your fuckin’ finger, you feel confident—you’re gonna fuck the badge outta him— you’re gonna ride him till the goddamn sun rises. 

But when his cock springs free from the confines of his pants, your ego is absolutely fucking wiped. He’s fucking huge. 

Prominent veins run up the side of the thick shaft throbbing with pure anticipation. Your eyes trail up to the leaky, swollen tip where little beads of precum threaten to spill. Pure perfection. Everything about your actions up until now has been so confident and so sure, so controlled and so certain you could handle anything. But now that he's here— that he's out, free, and soooo clearly ready for you — you feel an intense wave of doubt. 

You're the best, most badass fuckin’ merc in all of Night City—and yet here you are, with his dick in front of your face and you're speechless. River’s enjoying how you're staring at him, your eyes fixated on his shaft. Secretly, he loves the brief sense of control this is giving him, even with you on top. Fuck, it does good for his ego. 

By Christ— he finds your reaction to his size nothing short of fucking adorable. River gives a sharp inhale through his teeth and his lips curve into a mischievous smile, his ego swelling with the realization that he's a lot more than you expected...and he loves it. He knows all the right words to say, all the right tones to take, and he knows exactly how to play with you, right down to the way you're staring at him. 

Nonetheless, you set your thoughts aside as you mount the detective’s strong bronze thighs, his eyes locking onto yours.

You briefly question your safety as you tenderly wrap your fingers around the base of his thick shaft, feeling him jolt beneath you. 

But it's okay. You've got this. You can do this. You take a deep breath and try to ignore the size, your hands still stroking him gently, your touch sending shivers of anticipation up and down his body…

His hand wraps around your thigh in silent reassurance, a giant grasp that feels like it was molded entirely for you to fit perfectly into it; and the other falls to your hip, slowly tracing a path across your bare skin. The little gesture sends you fucking wild. River needs you to be comfortable. 

You press the tip of his cock against your dripping entrance, a little shiver runs through you when River stifles a groan underneath. 

This all feels so right, this all feels so real, and River wants you to know that. He wants to take all of your fears and worries away, to show you that he's got you, and he's here for you. And when you take your first tentative slide onto him, the tip entering you, River’s jaw hangs agape, a little squeak leaving your lips as the thick head enters you. 

You both recognize the need to be silent, and so for now the only sounds in the room are the soft moans and subtle whimpers coming from River's mouth as he's pressed against you...as you're pressed against him, two bodies entwined, one in the other. Nothing else exists at this very moment but this feeling... the intense, overwhelming feeling of his heavy cock throbbing inside of your tight walls. And oh, does the thought of making this dumbass detective whimper and struggle beneath you motivate you all the more. 

When you finally sink down, filling yourself to the brim, a cute little gasp! is forced from your parted saliva-coated lips. River’s stretching you out so so nicely— it’s a sweet type of burn. You dig your teeth into your bottom lip hard, biting back a pathetic moan as your eyes scrunch shut.

 A low growl escapes River’s lips as you suddenly take him whole in one go. 

Your wet walls constrict and clench around him, your achy, needy clit pressing against his groin. Oh fuck, it’s hard for him not to start moving his hips, to just start thrusting into your pathetic mess of a pussy without mercy. But no, he’s waiting for you, waiting for you to guide the speed. This is your night, it’s River’s chance to show how much he fuckin’ adores you. 

He's big— and you know you need to take it slow at first. But fuck, you’re not gonna stop, not now, not ever, not when he’s looking up at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes upon— it’s sending little waves of euphoric bliss throughout your entire body.  

River watches you take another deep breath before you begin to raise your hips again, pumping yourself full despite the stretch. 

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. You continue this rhythm slowly, taking your own sweet time to thoroughly feel each inch of his sweet cock rubbing against your soaked walls. 

In, out. In, out. You continue this rhythm. 

You work through that burn— you work through the pain of the stretch. Take your own sweet time, inhaling, exhaling, breathing in between each movement, each wave of pleasure that ripples through your body with each bounce. Soon, you no longer feel the pain that comes with each slide down; you’ve melded to the shape of his cock. 

Shit, he underestimated you. 

River’s breathing heavily now, huffing and biting into his lip—as he takes his time, taking care of you. And the moment he finds your rhythm, he won't be letting up even for a second, he’s gonna make you suffer just the damn same. 

But when you begin to speed up your pace, suddenly slamming your hips down into him, you’ve got him locked. 

Then and there, River swears he’s in fucking heaven.

You’re so tight— so fucking soft… so fucking heavenly, that he can’t do anything except look up at you and purely just admire as you struggle to take him—as he himself struggles to keep up with the pace of your hips. 

River’s pussywhipped already, turning his head to the side to hide the adorable little faces he’s pulling. 

But fuck, you’re not gonna let that happen. 

“Look at me,” you whisper into the silence of the night. You force his jaw upwards, wrapping your hands around his throat. “Only me, Riv.”

River’s caught off guard by your sudden display of dominance; but oh, how he loves it regardless. ‘Looks like his little mercenary finally gained the courage to take control,’ he thinks to himself. 

You catch a little mischievous glimmer in his mechanical eye, shining into the darkness. He’s enjoying this, you can tell. 

You stare into his gaze for just a brief moment; almost mesmerized, before suddenly pulling his face to yours and kissing him fiercely, your tongue slipping into his mouth. 

River’s strong grip on your thigh releases as his body begins to tremble underneath you; it all just feels too fucking good. It’s all too too much, the intensity of your hips rocking back and forth, the way you’re squeezing him and bouncing on his dick like it’s nothing compared to before. 

He knows you’re a merc, knows you’re a tough girl. You’re V— you don’t take shit from anyone, you take the reigns no matter what; he shoulda’ expected this from you. But oh, how he loves being bested by his lil’ merc. 

River’s eyes roll back as he holds you tightly to him, his hands moving up to your lower back and supporting you, he’s lost all self-control, and can’t stop what's about to happen as his breath grows heavier, lips parting. You’re fucking wet, clenching so so tight around him—he can’t help the groan that juuusst barely escapes his lips…

But luckily for you, you cover his mouth just in time, your body still moving with such intensity.  You're taking total control here, not letting him make a sound. You cover his mouth before he has the chance to protest, silencing him in an almost aggressive, dominating way, your breath hot against his lips.

At this moment, the detective is yours. Every muscle in his body belongs to you and every beat of his heart is for you. River is yours, he needs you, and when you cover his mouth, you can feel the rush going through his throat as it contracts with an effort to muffle any sound he might unintentionally let slip as your hips refuse to relent. 

The feeling of control that you've been so desperately seeking is finally yours, all yours, your hands are on the wheel— and you’re the one sending this poor fucker into a tailspin of pleasure and lust. River feels so much better than you possibly could’ve imagined, and shit, you’ve finally accomplished your goal to fuck him senseless, leaving him a complete and utter mess in your control — a mess that feels so good, as you keep pumping against him, feeling him inside you.

Every movement you make is met with his equally intense counter-response, his cock beginning to throb. Fuck. He’s close. 

But River’s not going to let you get ahead of him— nuh-fucking-uh. He’s had enough of your teasing; he can’t take it anymore— he’s not about to let himself cum before you, not when there’s so much fun still left to be had. He’ll drive himself to the edge— and he’ll take you with him. 

Strong hands take hold of your hips, hammering his hips into your sweet, messy cunt at the pace he desires. Just like that, all the control in your hands, all that dominance, and power beforehand, is gone in an instant. 

He wants to let you ride him, he really does. Wants to let you take control— but fuck, it’s not enough. He needs more, not just to ride, but to have you in his arms, and in return, you let him take control and show you exactly how he feels for you. 

And so you give up your control, giving up your dominance, allowing River to manhandle you into position, guiding you to the edge of the bed. Your breath catches in your chest as River trails his lips down to your collarbone and slowly reaches down to latch onto your nipple. You dig your teeth into your lip as he suckles at it tenderly, keeping your reaction a secret as you try to keep it together. Inside of you, you feel your tummy flutter with adrenaline as your heart rate picks up.

He knows you’re enjoying this, but oh, he’s got other plans for you. 

With strong yet gentle hands, he’s hoisting you up into his arms. His amber eye meets yours, and he’s gazing at you like you’re the most precious thing in the whole world. He lifts you, and you let yourself go limp in his hold— you know you’re safe, after all. 

You bury your head into his neck, pressing tight against him as you cling like your life depends on it. Everything feels so good when you’re in River’s arms when he loosens his grip to trail a path of wet kisses down the center of your chest. The way he feels so warm and safe makes you feel like the whole world isn’t crumbling down on you— instead, it feels like you can finally rest. 

Honestly, it’s just entirely him that makes you feel this way. He’s a stark contrast to any of your past lovers; a genuine shining light in a world so filled to the brim with darkness, a genuine positive change compared to the ways apparent in all of your exes.

Shit, you know Johnny’s gonna hate you even more for this, but you know you love this— you love River. 

Before you can think about it for any longer than you already have, he’s cutting your thoughts short to pull you to your feet, pinning you against the cool glass of his bedroom window. 

Fuck, you’re adorable to him. River just can’t help but slide his palms up against your soft skin, all the way up to cup at your titties, cupping them softly in each hand.

You let out a sharp gasp as he slips in, a deep inhale following quickly after— his hips pressing into your ass. You feel the heat of his breath against your neck as you cling to the cool glass of the window. You want him close, you want to feel him all against you. Your thoughts fill with nothing but him, and his cock begins to roll into you again, forcing a pathetic little squeak out of you. 

But there’s a sudden thought that pops into your head— shit, what if someone sees this, sees you, pressed against the window, getting your insides rearranged like there’s no tomorrow? Fuck.  

Shit, you feel more vulnerable than ever with River pressing himself into you, hands locked around your waist, his breath hot and heavy in your ear as he drives himself deeper into your sopping cunt. Him, the detective, fucking the brains outta’ a dangerous lil’ merc like you. Shit, it’s so thrilling that the thoughts in your head disappear entirely, and you're completely overcome with the sensation of his thick member moving in and out of you.

God damn. Your breath becomes shallow and your chest is rising and falling with every hard press of his hips into your ass. You're literally pressed against the glass with your face to the window, your eyes beginning to close. 

Even though your brain screams for common sense, your body craves otherwise. 

Oh god, you love this. Fuck your common sense. Fuck whatever Johnny has to say about it— you’ll deal with him later. 

You feel like you're falling into a trance, drowning in pleasure. Every thrust fills you with more and more heat and waves of pleasure, overwhelming your body and leaving you feeling like you're drifting away into nothingness.

Your vision blurs and the sounds slowly fade into the background. River is everything, your entire world, and right now the only thing you can concentrate on is his body and how good he makes you feel— he’s stretching out your cunt fucking delightfully. It feels like you're drowning in pleasure and you love it, absolutely love this feeling of complete submission to him. Normally, you’d fucking never let somebody, anybody, do this to you. 

But River Ward is the exception. 

You love the feeling of his breath on your neck, the soft, warm comfort it gives you, like a blanket wrapping itself against you. Your body relaxes as he gently moves his hands along your ribs, his gentle touch sending a shiver of excitement down your body. Then you hear his voice, a whisper that makes your toes curl with the touch. 

River’s attention is set on suppressing his little groans of pleasure by lowering his head to your shoulder, biting down gently. Shit, you’re almost too much to handle, he notes your breathlessness and sense of being soo overwhelmed- he can tell you’re ready for anything and everything from this moment on. Your walls constrict tightly around him, arousal fluids spilling from your hole with each mean thrust. 

Your breath is heavy and unfocused. River’s touch is perfectly balanced between soft and rough, squeezing your waist as his other hand digs into your breast, hips still deliciously rolling into you, still deliciously fucking you. 

You can't even remember the last time you've felt this.. good. 

Despite the burn of the stretch of his cock, you steady your legs back, rocking your ass back against him to match the pace of his thrusts. 

River’s eyes shoot open when he feels your tight cunt starting to move up and down his length again, this time without his influence. Both his intimidating gaze and his large hands immediately fall to the fat of your ass as a groan rips out from his throat. 

He’s just enjoying the show as his pretty needy little merc attempts to get herself off. It’s cute— pathetic, the way you take him whole, the way you’re desperate for more.  

You feel the cool press of his metal hand against the back of your neck, using you as leverage to pump his hot cock in and out.  

Your lips curl against the force of your teeth, the heat of your breath fogging against the glass, legs beginning to violently shake under the weight of his thrusts. 

Both hands move to grab your plush thighs with a tight grip, your breathless sighs and tight cunt squeezing around him let him know just how much you really need him. 

You wanna moan. You wanna whine out his name, you wanna beg for more— but you can't. Not this time. So, you bite into your lip hard, your open palms set on the glass of the window briefly curling into fists. Instead of submitting to yourself, you focus on the brightness of neon lights and towering buildings right before your eyes, you focus on the way his hands dig into the soft flesh of your hips, driving deep inside. 

But it’s all too much for you. 

"Fuck, V, you're good…” His voice is hot as it trails down your neck and along your jawline. Gentle hands begin to trail down your thighs, fingers tracing along your skin. Oh, it’s heavenly. 

River’s eyes open when he doesn’t hear you respond past weak, breathy little sighs. A teasing remark sits on his tongue, his lips curling into a smirk, but his throat goes parched the moment his eyes trail all the way down to where his large, swollen cock disappeared in and out of you, just stretching you oh-so-well. 

You look utterly and completely debauched in the reflection of the glass, eyes closed, cheek pressed up against the window, your mouth slightly agape, lips reddened and bruised from rough kisses. River finds the way your chest heaves and the way you let out broken whines oh-so-adorable, as his eyes trail down to the plethora of lovebites and hickies left strewn across your chest. At this point, you’re far too fucked-out to think. 

Before you can even process what’s going on, River’s slipping himself out of you, making you let out a soft, yet audible little defeated whine. “Hey, hey…” Big arms lock around your waist, pulling you gently down onto the soft mattress below.  “Stay with me, V…” 

His voice is hot and hoarse right now— but fuck, you’d be damned if you didn’t find him to be so fuckin’ sweet— so fuckin’ adorable in the way he talks dirty to you— so damn possessive, yet so soft and tender at the same time. The sweet burn of lust ignites deeper within your stomach as you refuse to lose sight of his gaze. You nod your head; you follow his orders obediently. The feeling of being vulnerable like this for him feels so... right, so natural. 

When your glassy eyes flicker up to meet his stare, his heart flutters a little in his chest. You look so so desperate, it’s beautiful. 

River swears he’s truly gone feral. It’s all too much— your cute little face, your quiet whimpers, wet pathetic pussy so in need of being fucking destroyed… god. He can’t handle it anymore. 

He drops to his knees on the bed— it feels natural, it feels right. Your breath halts a little in your chest, your pulse quickening when the detective begins to lower his head in between your thighs. 

The world around you spins as your cunt squeezes around nothing. His rough fingertips grace over your clit, and you can’t hold back the little moan that escapes your lips. But he’s focused on something different— his cybernetic eyes are locked onto your cunt— your folds are soaked, your arousal coating your inner thighs in little tendrils.

“Wan’it?” 

You nod again. Like an obedient dog. 

River grins, mechanical eye gleaming in the darkness mischievously as his metal hand helps his cock press against your entrance. Something about his gravelly words made your cunt clench around nothing, making you drip onto his sheets below. His tip brushes against your sensitive sloppy folds, before he nudges your clit with his cockhead, drawing out the cutest little gasp from your lips. River chuckles at your reaction— fuck, you’re goddamn adorable. He uses his free ganic hand to caress your cheek, looking down at you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever seen. 

The feeling of his palm pressed against you is soothing, comforting even. You nuzzle into his touch instinctively. 

It’s all a sweet, tender moment before River begins folding your legs up to your shoulders. You don’t have a second to think back on it before his thighs spread wider beneath you, the girth of his large cock sliding in deep, pressing thickly against your fluttering walls. 

Fuck. You almost lose yourself, then— lips falling agape, nails biting into the curvature of his bicep as his hips press flush with your own. You want to moan. You wanna cry out— so so fucking bad. 

But you know you can’t. 

Shit, River swears he could bust on the spot from the way you pathetically look at him, pupils blown and watery, eyes halfway shut. “Awh,” he whispers near silently before he braces himself and pulling your hips up to his waist, leaving your back arched gorgeously. You feel completely full again. 

His hips are finally still, giving you both a moment to recuperate. This time around, your cunt clenches down extra tight, your body seeming extra sensitive. He can read your reactions like a book— and he’s enjoying every little cute reaction he’s pulling out of you. 

River hums to himself, before straightening back again. He pulls out all the way— till just his aching tip is left throbbing inside of you. 

And all you can do is watch when he rocks back in and out again and again as if testing how deep he’s claimed his pretty little killer.  

But with a muddled mind and blurry eyes, you’re more focused on how he’s moving, the way his body moves back and forth inside you, claiming you. Your instincts kick in as this strong man overpowers you and takes control of you most dangerously, but you accept it all. Just the feeling of his hands on your hips, his touch all over you as you look at him...fuck, you feel complete. You’re a dangerous merc in her prime, and yet here you are, fucked absolutely dumb by River Ward. Fuck, old man’s got some goddamn stamina, it’s impressive. 

But secretly, he’s not sure if he can take it anymore— the pace of his hips falter for a second. Fuckkkkk. He grasps onto the meat of your thighs, his hips beginning to falter, slow down; his thighs beginning to tremble.

The overstimulation that comes with dragging his cock in and out of your tight pussy might just be the catalyst for him. He uses his remaining strength to hold himself deep inside of his lil’ merc, relishing the way you dig your nails into the curve of his bicep as he fucks into you steadfastly. 

Now, it's you who's not sure if you can take it anymore. You can feel his hips slowing down, his grip on you faltering as he struggles to pull himself together. Your nails dig into his arms, digging deeper each time you feel that familiar feeling building up within you. Your thighs start trembling as your entire body is quaking underneath his...it's about to be all over for you.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to control yourself like he had when you were trying to lure him deeper into you, but the build-up of pressure inside of you is too much to contain...it's beginning to spill over as the tension between you two builds up even higher. Your eyes continue to flutter with each slide in, and you’re panting at the burning euphoric release beginning to bubble in your chest. It’s all too much for you— far too much. 

River’s dick knocks against your plushy walls over and over again, making your breaths ragged and short, making you spew out little high-pitched hoarse sighs as he claims you as his own after waiting for sooo long. 

Every thrust inside of you has you trembling, panting, trembling again—your body can't take this anymore, the build-up is beginning to turn into a burst within you. You close your eyes, squeezing them shut tightly as this burning euphoric release inside of you is simply too much....too much for you to handle. Your entire body feels like it's boiling over, the pressure inside of you reaching an all-time high. 

The pressure building up in your tummy is too much to handle. You’ve resisted your orgasm, you’ve fought it, but suddenly the need for release becomes too difficult to hold back. Your body jolts up and you press your chest against him as you release, panting and whimpering as the pressure inside you is finally releasing. Finally, you cum, coating River’s cock in a ring of opaque white liquid. 

The feeling of relief spreads through your entire body as you release, feeling your body tense and shudder with your inner pleasure flowing out of you as you moan out his name and you feel his grip tightening the harder that you bite into his arm, holding back from saying anymore even though you know you can’t keep it in anymore. Your lips quiver with anticipation as you feel the build-up of pleasure rise inside of you, and it’s so hard not to just explode but you hold back as he thrusts faster inside you.

His hands are shaky under the weight of your trembling thighs, underneath the weight of your explosive climax. His thrusts slow down to a halt, both his mechanical and ganic hands gripping your waist tight. 

Deliberately, he slides himself all the way out, making you feel every inch of his cock down to the last vein, before slamming himself back inside one last time. 

No longer can he stand the feeling of holding back— he needs to cum. 

Every pump of his hips is accompanied by a short shudder and an exhale of your name as he’s losing himself to you, to the grip and clutch of your nails digging deeper into his arms. You know he’s close. And oh, is every little sign of his oncoming orgasm so so heavenly— the way his cock noticeably throbs within your constricting, gummy, tight walls—  the way he’s allowing the occasional whimper to slip from his parted lips.

Your entire body’s trembling and quaking as he pulls away from you, both in the act of withdrawal and the satisfaction of fulfilling what he’s sought after for so long now. You’re breathless from his touch, quivering in your body, your eyes unable to focus on anything but the sight of him biting his lip…he's so so close to cumming— it’s all so damn delicious. 

His mechanical hand presses into your thigh, the heat of his grip burning deep against your skin as he strokes his length, his breath shallow as he looks down at you, his eyes focused. River’s metal hand grips meanly into your thigh as his ganic’ one strokes his length, biting down hard into his lip to suppress himself.  

Instead of gazing back into his eyes, you’re gazing down at his glistening dick as he finally cums— the liquid is thick, warm, and milky, all splattering onto your lower stomach. 

The feel of his release all over you leaves you gasping as reality sets in. Once the heat disappears and the sensation finally dies down, you’re left with a whole new wave of emotions that you haven’t ever experienced before. Your body is still shaking from the release, and his breath is heavy as he looks down at you. You two are a mess. 

River lays down there next to you, panting heavily as he stares over at you. His breathing is quick and heavy, and he's completely out of breath from the entire night, but he's smiling slightly, a look in his eyes that seems almost...relieved and content. You can’t help but to just admire how fuckin’ adorable he is before he reaches over to brush your hair aside, wiping the sweat from your forehead. 

River’s soft with you— in your line of work, there’s no room for this much tenderness. You melt underneath his touch, a satisfied little sigh escaping you as your eyes flutter shut. You’re finally feeling comfortable enough to relax with him, to let your guard down and allow yourself to be a little soft with him. You feel at ease with him— finally at peace with not having to constantly be on high alert. You can relax.

But River’s all too aware of the mess he’s left you with. Gently, he lowers himself to you, softly murmuring in your ear. 

 “Just one sec, V… gotta get you cleaned up.”

As he stands, you're left helpless and vulnerable. The warmth of his touch is gone, replaced by a chill that leaves you feeling a little empty. Rivers' footsteps echo in the silent space between you as you lie there, alone in your thoughts.

The intimacy between the two of you may have faded, but the lingering after-effects remain. Your body is still trembling from the release, and your mind is clouded with the remnants of ecstasy. You’re left feeling vulnerable and exposed. A mess. 

As River's footsteps echo through the room, you feel helpless and weak. Your body has been taken by him, and you’re left behind. To be cleaned up. You're his.

When he returns, he has a soft, warm towel in one hand, and one of his tanktops in the other. He places the tank top down on the bed right next to you. River's hand reaches out and starts to gently wipe down your body with the cloth, working to clean up the mess left behind. His touch is gentle, tender, and caring. You appreciate his efforts to clean up the mess he's left you with.

You feel like a mess, his mess. His hands are gentle and meticulous as he cleans you up, his touch different from the rough grip you felt during the night. His soft touch is comforting, reassuring, and so at odds with the intensity of the night. Yet, at the same time, it shows the other side of the intense man you know so well. The delicate one, hidden from the world.

He’s not squeezing or gripping tightly— just gently wiping you down, making sure not to squeeze too hard as he does his best to get you clean. His touch is tender he begins wiping you down, making sure to avoid the more sensitive areas like your inner thighs, and before making his way up with the soft cloth. 

You feel yourself close to slipping away into a deep sleep, only for his warm voice to pull you back into the present.

“Hey…V,” River murmurs softly. “Got a shirt for you…” He’s grinning as he holds up a crumpled-up tank top he had set aside earlier— a small grin forming around your lips as you see the words “FUCK THE POLICE” printed across the front.

”Figured you’d like it…” he chuckles faintly, holding it up for you to take.

Despite your exhaustion, a little giggle leaves your lips at the sight of the printing on the front. Fuck, he’s adorable. River’s smile is contagious, filling you with a type of fondness you haven’t experienced in a long goddamn time. You graciously accept the shirt, sliding it over your head, a soft sigh escaping you as it settles over your frame. The fabric is soft, and it keeps you covered from the coolness of the night air. It’s a little big on you, but you like it that way— it’s comfy, and you’re beyond grateful for the little gesture. 

River slides into bed next to you, remaining silent as he watches settle. His eyes wander up and down your body, appreciating the way the fabric of his shirt hangs loosely around your frame. He likes the look, and it’s cute. It’s not something he’s used to, but the sight of you like this— it’s endearing to him.

You can feel the exhaustion creeping in, settling into your bones after the long day's events. As he watches you settle in, you can sense his silent appreciation and affection, his gaze tracing the lines of your body with a softness you haven't often encountered.

"Thanks for tonight," River murmurs, his voice filled with gratitude and a hint of weariness as a yawn interrupts his words. He briefly presses a little kiss to your forehead, before rolling over. "Goodnight, V."

His words linger in the air, carrying a sense of appreciation and tenderness that touches your heart. With a soft smile, you reply, "Goodnight, River…" before snuggling closer to him, seeking his warmth as the chill of the night settles in around you.

The two of you lay there, entangled in the silence of your first night together. All you can hear is the sound of his breath against your throat, the silent rustle of his sheets, and the faint thrum of his heart. You feel so safe, so warm, so loved in his arms. River radiates a sense of peace within you, one that you hadn't felt on your own. And with him comes a feeling of protection, a feeling of belonging.

#joce writes #river ward #river ward x reader #river ward x v #cyberpunk 2077 #fem v #cyberpunk smut #cyberpunk2077 #river ward romance #river ward x fem v #cyberpunk2077 fanfic #cyberpunk2077 writing

[steveandbuckysdaughter]

Hi, again. 👋

I found the post you were talking about. The stan's account was deactivated, but yeesh. 😬 Nice replies to them, btw.

The stan that bashed on me said I was being misogynistic, even though I'm a black woman who just wanted to see another black character get their chance to shine.

Hell, it's not just the shows and movies (I think this all started with Endgame). It's also the Steve Rogers musical too. I don't know if you know about it, but Disney made the musical real, and it really did Sam and Bucky dirty.

Sam isn't even in it. Maybe he was mentioned once, but the musical showed an image of Sam as Captain America. As for Bucky, his scene from CA:TFA, where he saved pre-serum Steve, was given to Peggy instead. Bucky was mentioned once, and the musical tried to justify Steve's ending from Endgame. All for this ship.

And, frankly, I don't hate Peggy, I'm just more annoyed that other characters get shoved aside as well as this great dynamic that Steve and Bucky had, while she and her ship with Steve has been getting propped up more and more. But, seeing some of your and the others' posts, I get why you guys don't like her.

Girl, don’t get me started on the abomination that was Rogers the musical. It could have been glorious, it had so much potential, but once again Bucky’s role in Steve’s story was given to Peggy, and Sam wasn’t even there!

I feel like Marvel feels the need to tone down Stucky or their friendship overall because it was just too powerful. We all remember the hashtag that begged Marvel to make Stucky Canon, #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend. They just couldn’t let it happen, not to a main and important character like Steve, god forbid. And so ever since civil war Stucky has always had little to no scenes together no matter how well established it was in previous projects. All their scenes and dynamic were given to Peggy, their friendship was toned down, Steve’s whole ending happened. It just feels like Stucky is so menacing to Marvel that the only way to stop us is by destroying Steve, Bucky and their relationship.

I mean, Steve is given no justice in his ending and in all the other projects he appeared in. Bucky went from a victim and prisoner of war to someone who must make amends for things that were beyond his control. And the depth of their friendship was toned down and reduced every time Peggy was involved. And then they wonder why many people in the fandom dislike Peggy or why the whole Rogers the musical initiative flopped the second it went beyond Hawkeye.

Like, even if you don’t ship Stucky you can tell that they care for each other, and you can tell there was a shift after people actually wanted Marvel to take action and do something about this dynamic. Steve can’t get even one episode as his own character because Peggy must be there. Bucky had more luck, but still… and let’s not even talk about Sam, his only appearance was as a zombie!

In another post of mine I ranted about how bothered I was that Peggy was inserted in the 1602 storyline, and i haven’t changed my mind. It would have been so nice to give Steve one episode about himself, about his dynamic with his best friend and about the relationship with himself and his fellow avengers. But no, Peggy must be there too, and for no good reason as well.

I feel like Marvel trying to erase pre-existing relationships to have Peggy shine only results in fans turning their back on Marvel and hiding in fanfiction or whatever piece of media that can actually bring justice to the characters. Once someone on Tumblr said “you gave us the characters, but once you mess them up they’re not yours anymore. You don’t understand and respect them, therefore you don’t deserve them.” and I couldn’t agree more, which is why I am currently reading and writing fanfiction rather than buying into everything marvel gives us.

Peggy was the love interest with more screen time even before what if and all that jazz, she had her own show! And I fear that the day Marvel will realize that pushing a reimagined Nazi turned Mary Sue into every single what if episode where she can fit instead of enhancing the characters that are actually relevant in-universe it will be too late.

Sorry about the rant, I get carried away when it’s about my boys lol

#Steve rogers #pro Steve rogers #anti endgame steve #bucky barnes #pro bucky barnes #stucky #pro stucky #steve x bucky #anti peggy carter #anti steggy #marvel critical #mcu critical #what if #sam wilson #pro Sam Wilson #sam wilson is Captain America

[genericpuff]

How do you feel about LO fans reading Rekindled? I mean, I know Rekindled wasn't created only for the critical side of the fandom to read, but have you ever had LO fans that read Rekindled coming at you because of your anti lo posts?

Honestly, I find I don't get that much harassment for it here, which has been great. One of the most common criticisms I get are accusations that I'm "riding off Rachel's coattails", but considering I'm making this comic entirely from the ground up, for free, in a way that fuses my style with Rachel's (which means it's still fairly distinguishable from LO) technically I'm harming Rachel's bottom line far less than the legitimate fans who draw Rachel's style 1:1 and sell adoptables and commissions LMAO (and that's not to be accusatory, I think it's neat that there are artists who can replicate it that well, but idk why people get mad at me for doing literally the same thing and I'm not even profiting off it lol it's literally just because I'm a critic and not a diehard fan). And if I didn't genuinely enjoy working on this project beyond getting fake internet points, then I would have dropped it from the starting gun, I'm not good at committing myself to new projects (yaaay ADHD).

I think it helps that I (intentionally) don't use the general LO hashtags, I try to stay away from using any fan-focused hashtags because ultimately the work I do isn't necessarily going to be meant for them and I don't want it getting recommended to them if that's not the kind of thing they wanna see. Of course, that won't stop fans from finding it, but if they're getting recommended stuff from the anti community, then chances are it's because they've already been lurking in it. If a fan of LO finds my work, they're more than free to read it and if they enjoy it, great! I was a fan once too, the comic itself isn't so much for the anti's and "haters" as much as it is for people like me who used to adore this comic and wanted more than what we got.

Considering LO is going to be ending by mid next year, Rekindled will very likely be going on long after it, so who knows, it might even become a new favorite for fans who want more LO-style H x P content. Of course, it'll come with all the layers of salt that come loaded with my content, but that's what we have the Dillyhub mirror for now ;)

I find I tend to get more pushback on Instagram and I can only assume it's because IG's recommendation algorithms work a little differently. I thiiink IG might be suggesting accounts that are followed by other accounts (so through mutuals) so if a fan is following the same people I am (ex. editolympus is one I can think of off the top of my head), regardless of whether or not those accounts use the same hashtags I do, I get recommended to them. I imagine it's a pain for people who don't want to be seeing my content but they can take their own advice for once - don't like it, don't read it (￣y▽,￣)╭

#lore rekindled #lore rekindled comic #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore rekindled ama

[lawlietscaramels]

okay okay okay I know you said no stories (understandable the holidays wiped me out too agshwsj) but I just got this random idea in my head and I could wait...!

So you know how voice filters are so normal now? even copying VA's to a seriously convincing level. What if people started using L's usual voice filter? Like nothing malicious, just people posting the craziest shit using THE detective L voice.

voice clips, shit posts, thirst traps, tiktok sounds of his public challenge on kira, people hating and simping on main and L can only helplessly watch. His pride won't allow him to change the filter he uses he made that himself it's his damnit! it'd be useless anyways, they'd just copy that too .

What can he do? are there legal repercussions? can he even copyright that? or is he doomed to be the biggest meme for the next 3 months like all public figures are subject to in life? Does L even notice?

So can I request an L-centric headcanon for this? You don't have to do it right away! Write whenever you feel like it! I just thought it'd be funny. Have a happy holiday!✨

–🍰 anon

That's My Voice! ╾ L

PFFTJSBAHHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE?! this is the best way to start of 2024 pfft

also I have rested and relaxationed™ so I am doing a hc/story snippet mix!

okay okay yes. let's go.

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

It's hard to say how quickly L would notice if this happened. Perhaps on the first day; perhaps he'd remain oblivious until it all blew over. the former is more likely than the latter.

but oh gosh once he notices...

Putting the key in the lock and turning it, you expected to find L standing right in the doorframe to greet you, the affectionate weirdo that he is. But he's staring in horror at one of the monitors lighting the room, mouth wide open and a lollipop forgotten in his mouth.

"y/n, they've stolen my voice!"

he probably hasn't encountered this kind of technology outside of like, criminals faking voices to commit crime or whatever so he's completely confused as to how and why ordinary citizens are using the voice filter he spent months of his childhood tinkering with.

they should make their own! can't he use copyright or something?!

"Oh, don't worry so much, L. It's just a trend, it will blow over quickly! There is no harm in them having fun."

He throws his arms in the air and for a moment you're concerned he's going to tip his seat over again. "What do you mean there's no harm?! They are 'simping,'" with the most dramatic air quotes you have ever seenー L must have learnt the term and immediately decided it did not deserve to be a wordー "for a cartoon man named Miguel from Arachnid-Man! In my voice, y/n!"

And you burst out laughing, which doesn't seem to help at all.

L goes silent and furious for a good hour as he desperately searches for a way to stop this from happening. I don't know the copyright laws myself, but I imagine as it isn't L's real voice and he likely wouldn't have seen the need to apply for a patent (or whatever equivalent there is to protect a voice filter), he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

he would still seriously consider taking these good-for-nothings to court though...

You watch with both a- and bemusement as L taps his bottom lip over and over, fast.

"L," you say, "what are you thinking?"

It's not a good sign when that British accent begins to fall over his words. "I am weighing up how likely it is I would win a court case to sue for millions, strip these imbeciles of the right to technology, and publicly humiliate them. Do you think we could bring back tar-and-feathering...?"

DO NO T LET HIM. hahags it will take a solid hour or more of convincing but L will eventually give up, pouting and dedicatedly following the hashtag #iamLtoo

he might actually learn a lot about popular culture

he might also fall out of his chair in shock and cry

so, you win some, you lose some. maybe it's best to just take away his browsing privileges and remind him of whatever case he's working on. DISTRACT DISTRACT!

you're right, his pride would definitely stop him from trying to stop these "trollers" (he called them trolleys at least three times) via changing his voice filter. He made it himself, he won't give it up because of some teen living in their parents' garage!!! Though he might try to rig a program to detect people using it and delete their accounts or whatever

not sure how to segue into this one but here's another story bit

After finally calming L down and reminding him the tar-and-feather punishment was abolished for a reason, you manage to get into bed for some rest. To your surprise, L joins you, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. This is what he always does when thinking, so you assume his mind is on the case and he's forgotten about the whole voice fiasco until he starts... cackling.

"L..."

Yep, there's a good chance he'll swing from "this is the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me ever!!??'!;;'!;';!!;"! :(" to quoting the memes.

he might actually really enjoy some of them.

though it's hard to tell if he genuinely thinks some of what these "trolleys" are doing is creative and amusing or if it's just a coping strategy for the next few months.

well, that is until he makes a subtle reference to the most viral of the videos in his next address to the public...

after that I'm afraid the craze sets off once again

L will sit back and watch with a smile

though if one of the uses of his voice filter insults him the whole thing is shut down faster than you can say tar-and-feathers

"You're a strange man, you know that?"

"So is this 'Miguel' character."

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

#ehdhehhe this was actually so fun to write i did it in what ten minutes? 15? #lei's lawliet #death note #l lawliet #writing #dn #x reader #fluff #crack #anons #🍰 anon #lei writes #writers on tumblr #death note crack #death note headcanons #death note hc #death note imagines #l death note #quick read

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys see robooty itager is the slowest burn fucking imaginable. because i think that 1) italy would have to initiate them dating since germany thinks hes rejected forever after buon san valentino (my boy loves one sided crush) and 2) if they dont slow burn theyll crash and explode. because i think italy takes forever to realize he genuinely really fucking love germany and ONLY loves him and is willing to be loyal 'n treat him well to have him. Since i think italy isnt the type to really love ever since his kindergarten crush so he takes forever to recognize what he feels is genuine love (plus his love is born from a sense of entitlement but thats a whole 'nother enchilada). but yeah and because they take forever and are fully developed in their feelings when they date things are happy happy sunshine swag peace and love ❤️ they do stupid shit as bros the only difference now is they make out sometimes and japan cries himself to sleep everyday ^_^

but in a world where somehow they started dating BEFORE italy completely sorts out his feelings then OHHHH MY GOD. HELLWORLD. LITERAL HELLWORLD. because italy would totally cheat on germany and germanys heart would have youtube poop glass shattering effect explosion and italy would be #unloyal and #mean #scumgong and he would break up with germany for being so clingy and upset about him breaking his heart everyday or germany would break up with italy because everyone in his entire life (2 people: japan and prussia) is telling him that he needs to because italys making him chew glass (they take like 6 years to convince him and have to resort to saying its for italys own good if he breaks up with him). and then when they break up germany would hashtag die and explode because he obviously still loves italy but hes held back by prussia to not come back to him and tries to satiate his autistic brain by thinking "he was mean to me and told me to leave. im sorry ill leave now sorry for bothering you" and he also doesnt feel close to anybody except italy and has to go "brother....... i am.... not feeling good right now........" and cant say much else bc WE SAW IN THE ANIME GERMANY WANTED TO VENT ABT ITALY AND REALIZED HE HAS NOBODY BC HE ONLY IS CLOSE ENOUGH IN THAT WAY TO ITALY. and then cut to italy and hes partying it up because hes pissed off at germany for being on his ass hardcore every single day for the past god knows how long (hate my wife syndrome) until a while later the partying slows down and he has a bunch of moments where he thinks "well usually right now germany would do [thing]" and that builds up until he is hit with the full realization that germany is not going to stay by his side anymore. because hes run away now and hes never ever coming back. and that realization is like the evil version of italy realizing that he loves germany and wants him to ALWAYS be by his side; so much so that hes willing to do what it takes and compromise and be loyal n shit to make that happen. and now italy is freaking out because he doesnt feel this urge ever and now hes already fumbled the dude hes fr in gays with. but this realization is evil because its under a sense of panic and shit so its also motivated by italy feeling a sense of entitlement to having germany by his side and like HES SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

and from there italy would get back together with germany either easily bc he would just ask and say sorry and germany would go "well to be fair I should have been better as well. yes we should try again i want to too, i will try my best to not fail you this time." or it would be hard because germany would have his mind made up (with prussias support and urging and shit) to be like no italy we arent good for eachother and i cant (shouldnt) forgive you for doing those things to me and italy would be like Oh. and chew glass and freak the fuck out until he decides hes going to use #emotional manipulation and sob to everyone about how germany wont take him back and make everyone hate on germany and call him a terrible guy n shit to make germany feel so guilty and think hes an awful person to italy that he takes italy back. but even then their relationship is now fucked up forever because they live in perfect symbiosis thats their entire thing but now they dont because germany now has doubt of italy because of how he went into their relationship before and didnt give a fuck and italy unlocked his evil paranoia because now when he gets scared that germany will leave him he cant be comforted by thinking that would never happen because IT DID. HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIM IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE GERMANY RUN AWAY. and because of that italy gets a lot more freaky about not wanting anyone to like germany so germany wont like them more than him and being emotionally manipulative and possessive and yandere shit because his paranoia is driving him to it. itager is great because it has so much potential to be evil like italy could emotionally manipulate germany so hard and all that shit but it would never happen because germany is so loyal and obsessed with italy that he never makes italy feel paranoid and like he has to. theyre like imagine if someone who has potential yandere gene in them dated a person who loved them more than anything in the entire universe and bends to their every will and never even glances at another person. that yandere gene is never getting activated bruh and at most manifests when italys like WAHHHH GERMANY YOU WONT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME RIGHT?? WHY DONT I HAVE THE MOST GERMAN TOURISTS IN THE WORLD WTF IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ME I NEED TO CHANGE????? but in the world where they rush things they break up and it disrupts all this homeostasis and makes them a little evil afterwards because italy has excessive paranoia that cant be quenched and germany has autism doubt because "he betrayed me once...... so hell probably betray me again *cries*"

#robooty kun #sorry not abt my life but this is robootys fucking essay #itager #i looooveee this shit okay dey make me crazy

[hangmanbradshaw]

Okay first off- YOURE AMAZING! Your hashtag made me sad because you’re not semi good- you’re one of the greatest writers I ever read - full stop. Not just in this fandom, not just on A03, IN GENERAL! (And I read 50+ books a year like the nerd I am lol)

Second: what advice can you give to writers struggling to find that creativity and that drive? I know you’ve always been a fan of outlining but what else gets a plot and foreshadowing like you’re an expert at all?

EWAFEWAIFEJWAI OH MY GOD You can't just say that??? That's so sweet omg <3 <3 you are way too kind to me.

ooh I love talking writing. Honored you'd want my advice. Hmm so I think I'd say here's my writing advice (coming from someone who is most definitely not a pro but this is my opinion):

write your passion. whatever it is you love, write about that. The love bleeds through the story, makes you want to write, etc.

outlines are so important, but I am a huge proponent of breathable outlines. Give yourself structure, but room to breathe and be creative. Hugely helpful in an outline is to go to the future chaps and make notes about things to bring up again so it builds right and comes full circle/is closed.

figure out the theme, what you want to say, what the heart of the story and characters is and what they learn by the end and use the hints to build on this. Every single scene, building block, etc is an opportunity to be intentional about this and form a complete story. Also everything can add to it without straight up saying it. The setting (the sun rises. it's a new day after a character lets something go, etc.) (in iwtby- Jake's dad leaves him to mend the fence on his own. symbolic as he is left to do that in their relationship as well. bradley sits by him as he does this. which he has done in more ways than one. asks why they're there. it's just overflowing with multiple meanings beyond the literal.) (also play with double meanings ugh they're the best)

less is more? subtle hints are the best, let it build to build tension.

write the story YOU want to tell. what speaks to your heart. what world exists in your mind. Do it for the pure love of it. And when crafting the plot/world, just think about a reader's perspective and what would be cool to see. It helps come up with cool structure ideas (i.e. starting with after bradley and jake met in iwtby with hints and at the very end circling back in bradley pov full circle. or dlp- big reveal? next chap switch pov and backtrack. the reader thinks they know what's going on, but it's limited pov and then you have those OH WOW moments. Write in ways that are ambiguous or *seem* to be something because again...you're in a biased perspective. And then you slowly reveal the full picture to the reader and the character.) (Or playing with then the reader knows something but the character doesn't. like in dlp I jump back to bradley pov and WE understand now but he still fully doesn't and as a reader you wanna scream at him.) (also keeps someone on their toes and the story from being stagnant, and you know I LOVE that things mean more or take on a different meaning when re-reading then and it's so cool)

When I'm stuck, I take a break or I sit back, close my eyes, and just let my mind follow the story for a bit like a movie in my head

there is NO boundary to it! Let your imagination run as wild as you want, throw the rules out the window. Any world can be believable if you build it right and connect the audience to the characters. Santa land? Sure! Can believe it if Jake believes it. Spooky island with def some paranormal stuff going on? as long as it makes sense, absolutely. There's no rules.

Okay! That was a lot so sorry if you didn't want all that, but I love writing and story crafting so so so much and I'm always so happy to talk about it or give advice if you want it :) write what's in your heart and it'll be amazing.

#asks #honesty hour #writing stuff

[theliterarywolf]

Not gonna lie, as much as Threads seems to be horrible, people on Twitter talking about how much better it is or how they NEED to use it just... annoy me

I've been in there in my own account for less then 2 months, and only follow like, 4 people, but it is the most toxic and annoying big website i even used, and i have been on Tumblr for YEARS. people just love to complain about everything, any sincerity is mocked and anything even a little "weird" turns into a harrasment campain. And since nobody uses hashtags or tags, you NEED to use the algoritm, and see even more people being awful. Really the only good part is the NSFW stuff being allowed.

And them i see people complaining or mocking tumblr... people are very annoying here too, but its like a few toxic bins next to Chernobyl itself

This is why, when one of my earlier posts about Threads was making the rounds and someone accused me of fearmongering, I was sitting here like 'come on, man!'

We all know that the major social media sites are predatory with the types of data they collect. Hell, even as I'm sitting at my laptop typing this response, there's a glowing link on the bottom of the Tumblr window that says 'Privacy Notice for California Users'.

It's the fact that Threads released with bare-bones to little UI elements compared to other social media sites in combination with the fucky-wucky elements of it being a Meta product (you're telling me that the Zuck couldn't have invested some money into QA before launch) as well as the forced Instagram/Facebook connection in conjunction with all of the privacy-botchery that makes people skeptical.

Because, yeah, let's call a spade a spade: Twitter itself is a cesspool that, in the months since Elon bought it, has been falling apart like one of the firefighters at Chernobyl.

And part of that is due to the botched way that things like 'For You' and Blue Checkmarks were handled.

Because, initially, For You legitimately was a benefit and introduced you to similar content to what your Twitter account was comprised of. However, now it just funnels unhinged discourse and Blue Checkmark accounts who KNOW that they would not have an audience if it weren't for the site forcing their batshit brainworms onto others.

Same thing with Blue Checkmarks getting priority placement (along with ads) under people's tweets.

It's one thing for these elements to be present on a site, it's another for that site to make it nigh-impossible for you to curate your experiences to avoid those elements. Because, let me tell you, I've been hearing from people on Twitter that 'oh, those Tumblr people are whinging about XYZ' and I'm just here like 'I! Am actually in those communities/fandoms and I have not seen the wank, so my curating and filtering must be working great!'

[justablah56]

gothweebcleats anon here with some headcanons

scary and linc are both dyslexic. scary likes poetry because it often takes time to parse and understand anyways and sometimes the lines are shorter and clearer

taylor ran track before he started using a cane. i’m thinking either sports injury OR chronic illness manifesting in his bones at 14. this is how he is so popular (either this or marching band 🤔 maybe track then he switched to band?)

normal noticed what was going on with These Three wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy before any of Them noticed. he tried to shout it from the rooftops but all three of them have demand avoidance so it just made the wait longer

linc does not track how much he works out. scary does. scary spots linc when he starts lifting and helps them learn strength training (i’m hashtag projecting here someone be the scary to my linc). linc starts strength training for 1. better soccer 2. Buff. taylor eventually joins bc ftm moment

hermie’s crush on scary DIED as soon as he saw her give a dead bug to taylor as a “courting” (idk what else to call it yk when ur in the “we know we like each other but i’m not gonna say it first” phase w ur frenemy) gift

thank u for letting me raid ur inbox i think of these fools more now and my life is better for it o7 i hope u have a wonderful day buddy

oh these are absolutely DELIGHTFUL thank you !!! okay but the funny thing is my friend cookies has mentioned to me their dyslexic Taylor hc so they're just all dyslexic now , thanks for coming to my Ted talk .

also im officially adopting Taylor in band right this moment I love that , he is some sort of brass player in my heart but idk enough abt brass instruments to have an actual opinion . could also see him in percussion tho . but hhnnhggg him being in track or smthin before and that's why he's popular ! so important to me !

okay and normal noticing and immediately being like hEY YOU LIKE EACH OTHER and immediately all of them NUH UH >:[ and then they take even longer to actually work their shit out bcs Someone Said It So Now We Won't . Fuck You .

them working out together !! and scary probably keeping track for both of them bcs both of them simply cannot keep track of anything while they're doing it sndndm

SCARY GIVING TAYLOR A DEAD BUG !!!!!! LITERALLY SO REAL !!!!! just very vividly imagined her coming up to him looking all grumpy and like she doesn't want to be there , not saying anything , and Taylor's just sitting there like what ? she holds out her hand so he holds out his and she just . drops a dead beetle into his hands before immediately turning around and storming off nsnsnsn Taylor absolutely found smthin to pin it up in and so he just has a single beetle with its own little frame on his wall . the frame is way too fucking big considering the size of the beetle .

my guy I am SO glad to have you talking about The Guys in my inbox , bcs I am now *also* thinking abt them more and it's lovely <33 hope you also have a good day anon !!!

#gothweebcleats anon #gothweebcleats #maybe ill make a little comic based on scary giving taylor the bug sbndjdkkd #this scene is literally so vivid in my brain #anyways

[formulacherry]

Ok Cherry! The differences between a Carlando vs. Maxiel wedding. Go. C/M anon 🍒

i’ve been sitting on this ask for 3 days so obviously i went over the top with my response

maxiel

max and daniel’s wedding would be super chill. definitely still extravagant but in a comfy and casual way and most importantly it would be FUN.

i feel like they’d have it on the farm in perth at sunset and max would have to talk daniel out of using like a sheep or something to be the ring bearer “cmon maxy it’ll be funny!” “daniel i am of course not having a sheep at my wedding.” (they use their nephews and niece instead, much to max’s relief)

one of their friends would officiate. maybe seb or someone that watched their relationship blossom from the start. they’d definitely write their own vows and they’d be a combination of really sweet words and dumb jokes and jabs at each other. daniel would be like “i love your ass and what you let me do to it” and both their mothers would let out a horrified gasp from the front row while max just furiously blushes.

their wedding photos would be really jokey; them grabbing each other’s asses and jumping on each other’s backs and stuff and the photographer would be so over it. but then when they thought they were done they’d be leaning into each other like they always subconsciously do and share a quick kiss and that’s when the photographer gets the money shot. it ends up hanging above their fireplace back in monaco.

they’d do a bunch of traditional cringe wedding things too. like come up with a hashtag that they make everyone use (it ends up trending #1 worldwide) and they’d play games that has everyone in hysterics. they’d make two bouquets specifically so they both have one to throw. (daniel aims for lando. max aims for carlos. no one fights them for it.) daniel would insist on trying to remove a garter from max’s thigh with his teeth which proves extremely difficult to do whilst max is wearing suit pants.

they’d have so many of their friends and family there. everyone who they love would make the trip over. all the drivers they’ve ever shared the grid with would be there, including the ones from before max’s time and after daniel’s. maybe they have someone like lando MC it so he can just tell embarrassing stories about them. everyone is happy. there are notable absences (eg: jos. maybe zak because max is still holding a grudge even if daniel is over it) but everyone is having such a good time that they barely give it a second thought.

their first dance would be so sweet and they’d just be laughing and kissing the whole time. there would be absolutely zero skill involved and would mostly just be them swaying together. max would twirl daniel around and then daniel would try and dip max even though max is significantly bigger. no one can take their eyes off them.

the food would be a serve yourself buffet type of situation. with like mini pizzas and sliders and stuff. just good wholesome food that everyone devours. the cake would have multiple flavours and they’d have something like donuts to go with it. they’d end up chasing each other around trying to smush it into each other’s faces.

they would have an obscene amount of alcohol. reds, whites, champagne, beer, spirits galore. they’d probably be really cringe and have a signature cocktail named ‘the maxiel’ and it would be gin and tonic mixed with honey served in a red bull can or something ridiculous like that. all the guests would be hammered, especially the grooms.

the night would end with everyone barefoot on the dance floor (martijn would DJ), daniel would be shirtless and everyone would be jumping around screaming the lyrics to bad wedding music while max and daniel are kissing in the middle of the crowd without a care in the world.

i don’t even think they’d have a proper send off because they’d also host an after party for the guests who wanted to keep going and they’d be up and partying well into the next day.

when they finally fall into bed together at like 3pm they’d just look at each other and be like ‘fuck. we finally did it.’ and they’d kiss a bit and then pass out wrapped around each other and sleep for 16 hours.

carlando

ok firstly, i think carlos and lando elope. i reckon they’re planning this huge, extravagant wedding and it’s stressing them both out and one day one of them is just like: what if we just.. got married today? so they call a couple of their closest friends and do it on a boat or something idk but they don’t even tell their families and it’s casual and fun and suits them perfectly. they both cry reciting their vows and everyone else who is there would be crying too.

onto the actual wedding. i think it would be much more formal and classic and traditional. with the ceremony in a church maybe, or like some nice gardens. i think their mothers and sisters would be the masterminds behind the whole thing and carlos and lando would just go along with all their ideas. i feel like it’s not at all what THEY would’ve chosen, they’d want it more casual, but their wedding ends up being more of a show and they’re ultimately fine with it because at the end of the day they just want to show their love to the world. they’d probably have a bunch of important people there. CEO’s and friends of their fathers and stuff so they just want to make a good impression, and if that means having it be a little stiff then so be it.

lando would definitely sneak into carlos’ room before hand and carlos would be like “aye, mi amor. you know it is bad luck to see each other before the wedding!” and lando would shrug and be like “we’re already married so figured it doesn’t matter.” laughing. kissing. sex. just time spent together before they have to go and perform for everyone waiting outside.

they’d use pre written vows, but it wouldn’t matter because they already said everything they needed to say to each other on the boat. carlos would start crying during his anyway which would make lando cry and everyone would be cooing from the audience. their first* kiss as a married couple would be through huge smiles and tears, holding each other as close as humanly possible.

their wedding photos would be absolutely STUNNING. maybe they’re using some of them for an article in a spanish magazine or something (‘our exclusive look inside the CarLando wedding!’) idk but they’re gorgeous. posed perfectly and they both look beautiful. they’d definitely struggle to choose which ones to use and would end up having a different one in every room of the house. (their favourite photos are still the candid ones their friends take throughout the evening though)

the reception would be less stuffy than the ceremony but still incredibly formal. caco would MC which would make things a bit more casual (daniel would be put out and they’d have to explain that without even seeing what he would’ve said, they know it would not be appropriate for this kind of wedding.)

the food would be michelin star but also kinda boring. three courses. a choice between chicken and beef (carlos suggested chicken and fish but lando was horrified. “carlos i’m not having FISH at my wedding!) and it would be served to them and stuff. the cake would be super rich and decadent and they’d cut it together and lando would smush it into carlos’ face even though they agreed they weren’t going to do that. (he then wipes the icing off carlos’ lip and pops it in his own mouth, sucking on his finger. carlos can barely contain himself and lando has to tell him that “no, we can’t leave yet” and carlos would straight up whine.)

they’d have so many friends and family there. there would be mclaren team member reunions and stories swapped about them. so many claiming they knew they’d end up together and that it was obvious from the start, how lando was ‘so obvious’ in the way he looked at carlos. which would have lando blushing and carlos pulling him close for a kiss.

they’d spend the whole evening trying to have a moment alone together but they’d keep being separated by different people needing different things and eventually carlos would be so fed up that he’d grab lando and drag him outside and behind the venue. they’d end up having their first dance as just the two of them. carlos humming some song under his breath while they hold each other close and sway together. it’s perfect. completely perfect.. until caco interrupts them and tells them they have to do the real one in front of everyone now. some choreographed thing that lando feels ridiculous doing but carlos is surprisingly good at.

the send off would be extremely welcomed. everyone waving them off into the night with well wishes and sparklers. by the time they’d turned out of the venue they’d both let out such a huge sigh of relief. shrugging off their jackets and undoing their bowties. they’d probably stop at mcdonald’s drive thru or something on the way home in their fancy ass car. lando would be leaning out the window to place the order. “carlos baby, do you want fries? yeah my husband wants fries!”

when they finally make it home and into bed they’d be so exhausted but sated and happy. they’d crawl into bed and have slow, lazy sex with carlos whispering “mi amor. mi esposo. te amo.” the entire time.

#c/m anon #my beloved #carlando #maxiel #ask #weddings

[theghostofashton]

Ohhh please that answer wasn't long!! And even if it actually was I am living for every word of it!! 💕💕 Anyway, any other fun facts that you consider "fic-canon" that didn't make it or got only a passing sentence? Or would Carlos always be TK's trainer for every role or would there be ones where TK hires another one? Would the paparazzi ever run fake/made up stories about them - say "work romances" -with castmate or client? Pls run free and post any fun fact you want!! 🥰

thank you for enabling me 💕💕

but actually, now that you mention it... your ask had me digging in the folder for this fic last night, and i have a bunch of deleted scenes. there were a lot of things i ended up cutting and some more ideas i had that i didn't get to incorporate (i didn't even think i'd make it to 60k so when i hit 63 i was like......we are not getting to 65 this needs to end lol)

a few of those:

this was something i alluded to a few times but never fully fleshed out, but tk has had some really bad experiences with trainers in the past. people that focused only on his physical appearance and not how anything made him feel, that gave him terrible diets and didn't correct his form when it wasn't good, just basically cared about him as a vessel to play a character rather than a person. he's surprised that carlos is so good and wants him to enjoy food and modifies things when he needs it because he hasn't ever really had that before, so for that reason he'd probably not be comfortable with anyone else. i can see carlos learning things he's not experienced in to continue training him. it may not be the same as getting an expert, but tk's mindset post-fic is to prioritize his comfort and safety too, not just run himself into the ground and stay miserable for every project.

there were going to be some more conversations about tk's fall from grace, how he felt about it, and i deleted a lot of them because they felt too preachy lol. this fic kinda felt like me getting up on my soapbox and i figured there was only so much people could take of that.

there's this scene i have of carlos googling tk that got deleted because i couldn't get it quite right. it was going to include some of the terrible headlines about him but also his only statement before going to rehab five years prior, and the tribute he posted to gwyn after her passing. i spent so long rewording it but couldn't get the pr vibe i was after so i scrapped it.

there would definitely be dumb gossip stories about workplace romances, but i feel like they wouldn't be a huge deal, especially after everything. tmz would be tmz, but i think his interview at the end of the last chapter would spark a lot of discussions about the ways that celebrities are treated, and how the media feeds into it. i feel like marie and a bunch of other people who supported him through everything would create some kind of hashtag and movement online that would blow up. i can see marie getting into advocacy work and tk partnering with her on some things to talk about addiction and dispel some of the myths/misconceptions.

i had another idea for a scene where marjan convinces tk to be on her instagram, like in some of her stories and stuff, and his hesitance sparks some more stuff about the way social media was used to hurt him back when everything was happening (hateful hashtags trending and constant angry dms). it was going to end with him changing the way he uses social media too, not allowing strangers so much access into his life, and keeping himself away from things that could be triggering.

there's a throwaway line about the opportunities tk lost that was supposed to be expanded into something about him working on a screenplay of his own. he was at the 'shopping it around to different directors' phase when everything went down. i can see him coming back to writing a couple years in the future. i can absolutely see him getting more into writing and kind of balancing the two, so he's not throwing everything into acting and letting it control his life anymore.

oh, and the movie does very well. tk's performance is highly praised, and while it doesn't blow up or get nominated for a ton of awards, it's seen as a brilliant way for him to dip his toe back into the industry. he doesn't have too much trouble booking roles afterward.

#there is also.... a potential short sequel oneshot i have thought about #i considered it when i was finishing up the fic and shelved it to work on other stuff but i may pick it back up again #neha rambles #answered #lutavero

[listlessnessss]

Instead of amab/afab and msoc/femsoc, which has some people really hashtag triggered, i'm going to just be more brutally honest and call things, people, and experiences malebrained/fembrained because it gets to the heart of what people are gesturing at when they say amab/afab, doesn't correlate 1:1 to assigned sex, and can be changed if one so wishes. now that type 2 trans people are transitioning because they genuinely want to and now we know that gender identity, sexual orientation, and gender stereotypes are different things, we see a mix and match resulting in, for example, fembrained ftms.

Now to discuss a recent twitter dot com controversey. (I unironically think twitter is the most toxic place on the internet, because more people inc normies use it, and are not anonymous and can receive public figure status). a tguy made a comic about his experience with toxic masculinity and the QRTs essentially showed him toxic masculinity proper (ie. you're not a real man statements) and the leftist internet would 9/11 itself if those insults and behaviors were happening between or directed towards cis men. okay like yes i do think there can be a bit of a malignant learned helplessness among ftm-spectrum people due to fembrained upbringing and socialization. (see how much better it works) BUT this does not mean men should not be fembrained, and when you're criticizing feminity, you're missing that positive femininty exists within any and all genders. The malignant learned helplessness thing is much overplayed by people who have a bone to pick with ftm-spectrum people in the first place, and by the more normie "TMAW" cis contingent...

Such malignant learned helplessness is a highly specific negative trait correlated with a small but real percentage of ftms (and cis women, but curiously nobody seems to have a problem with them behaving like that... transphobia. I gather that people find it uncanny and offensive, or unfair, in some way when people who behave like this identify with manhood, and I'm a cis they them woman who's crypto so I don't really get a say in the social dynamics... but.) But it is not characteristic of nor necessary for transmasculine self-identification. The transandrophobia crowd would do well to listen, at least sometimes, to cis feminine and or gay men, on some issues. If they want their own tguy space, I think that's fine, too. I'm really live-and-let-live on these types of social issues. But people should be able to make a kind of informed consent when it comes to their behaviors, to fully weigh the pros and cons with the understanding of how such behaviors will be received by the outgroup and within the ingroup.

I do agree that there's some lack of guidance/theory/writing on the effects of toxic masculine expectations and the norms of the "universal malebrained" and how they can negatively impact ftm-spectrum people's understandings of themselves. I myself saw myself to be at the bottom of this kind of totem pole, an anomaly, a shut-out, and knowledge of social uncanniness has served as the limiting factor for my self-understanding moreso than fears about physiological uncanniness (although I am for sure bonepilled, too). The solutions on offer are to 1.gaymaxx(?) (say that you're this way because you're a gay man), 2.identify with lesbianism and gain social support there, 3.be proud of looking/seeming trans. Some of these solutions are good, but they cannot with 100% accuracy lead to an elimination of 'negative feminity'.

You're free to tell me I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about... but food for thought on how msoc/femsoc, amab/afab, etc, are just more fembrained ways of saying "malebrained/fembrained". I think it is absolutely possible to psychologically transition from one into the other and to understand how you are received. Being fembrained has, for me, been not an innate quality which myself nor anyone else possesses/lacks, rather, a logic about oneself which external forces have tried to pressure me into internalizing, and which I have, in different circumstances, found myself embracing or resisting. My fembrain is an elaborate social mask.

Ultimately, it's far more important to resist characterization of that twitter guy as not-a-man (definitionally, transphobia) than to offer bizarre explanations for the complex motivation behind such backlash against him from within the ingroup.

[bubblegummintie]

🌱🌸🌱🌸🌱🌸🌱🌸 About Me 🌸🌱🌸🌱🌸🌱🌸🌱

˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Name: Bubble, Bubblegum, Minty, and Mint are the four main ones and I'll only answer to them if we do not know each other.

˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Pronouns (will update with site info): He/she/they. I am genderfluid and prefer they when talking about me to others.

˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Sexuality (not delving in too deep): I'm bisexual.

˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Age: I won't go into exact age, but I am 20+ so please keep that in mind.

˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Fandoms: I'll probably update this as time goes on, but the main ones I'm in are Smile for Me, LiEat, and a bunch of other ones that I can't name off the top of my head. I only really write somewhat for the Smile for Me fandom and try to be as true to the character as possible with some liberties of my own in some cases. 

Account icon: done by the amazing Twizurcis!!! They don't use Tumblr much so I don't really have a link to send.

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ DNI ˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗

✧˚₊‧ Homophobic, transphobic, just anything that is anti-human rights and life (in ways no one gets hurt from).

✧˚₊‧ Post, or well, talk about heavy amounts of gore. I'm fine with you, I just don't want to be harassed like I have in the past with it and be exposed to it. I can only handle a certain degree of it, and if it's live action and you send it, that is an immediate block and I will not remove said block.

✧˚₊‧ If you are looking to befriend me solely for the purpose of talking trash about me or anything of the sort. This is a safe space and I do not want to be involved with people I do not want to be involved with. If you disrespect this, I'm blocking you and adding you to a posted list of people not to talk to me about or anything of the sort. If you want to talk things out or anything of the sort is cool, just don't get me involved with anything.

✧˚₊‧ If you want to start drama of any kind, stalk me, start letting people talk trash about me and harass me/those around me, and just don't like me, do not interact or even come near my account. I don't want to see or be a part of this and I will not be a part of it. If I have you blocked, it's for a specific reason and I'm usually not going to budge on it for my own state of mind.

✧˚₊‧ Anti-mental health. I know this is kinda a stretch for some, but there is a lot of people out there that are very against it and I don't want those people near me from the way I've been treated for mine and for my autism. I also want them far away from others no matter what.

✧˚₊‧ Fatphobic people and just anyone with the "I'm doing this for your own good/trying to help!" mentality. Bluntness is not something to be proud of if you use that as an excuse for hurting others. Alongside that, treat people with respect, care, and compassion. If I don't want to see it, they probably don't either. Abuse is abuse and can really change a person, so don't imply too much and genuinely respect boundaries. No respect from you = no respect from me when I block you. I won't trash talk you, but I won't respect you as someone I want near me.

.˚ *꒰ঌ✦໒꒱ * ˚. Social Medias and more .˚ *꒰ঌ✦໒꒱ * ˚.

[I won't be posting all of them right now, just the ones I use and are very public about.]

❀˖° AO3: Be aware I tend to upload chapters close together to prevent myself from losing the will to finish it and then leave it unfinished. Tap the word for the link.

The link to the masterlist post: https://www.tumblr.com/bubblegummintie/734892975230943233/heres-that-masterpost-i-mentioned-in-my-pinned

❀˖° Instagram: Tap the word. I mostly post edits to here and maybe some crafts if I make the decision to.

❀˖° Twitter: Tap the word for the link, I just reblog stuff here for the most part.

❀˖° Discord: Can't exactly give a link but my username is bubblegumminty and I'm always open to adding new people!!!

My tags for everything are:

#Mint Tea Time Reblogs, #Mint Tea Time Talks , #Mint Tea Time Uploads, and Mint Tea Time Rambles. I'm also adding for when I make polls the hashtag, #Mint Tea Time Polls (idk how to embed them so they are in the tags at the bottom of this post).

Thank you for reading and I hope we all get along fantabulously! I'm always open to chat but please don't ask to be friends if we've just met. It's a natural process and I do not want to feel forced to say yes.

#Mint Tea Time Reblogs #Mint Tea Time Talks #Mint Tea Time Rambles #Mint Tea Time Uploads #ABOUT ME PINNED POST SO PLEASE READ #if you're reading the tags you're great #gay #fabulous #go drink and eat something #THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO DO THE THING

[mizuta]

far from it to be my style to post about hashtag mental health issues on main but like. look. ive& been psychotic as far back as i can tangibly remember (hallucinating at 10-11, cognitive symptoms and episodes by 13-14). its been a part of my life so long that like... in a lot of ways im used to it and coping with symptoms and my life grew around a lot of the symptoms. like a tree trunk growing around a foreign object as a sapling. something that pierces directly through the middle but doesnt really impact the trees ability to stay alive in any meaningful way.

so like in a lot of ways im used to being in my own head. my partner is good at recognizing that things that are distressing to me in episodes dont process whatsoever as distressing to me a good chunk of the time. when im acting visibly distressed it actually means my level of distress is at like, 200%. its fucking unmanageable. if im visibly distressed its worse than anyone could conceptualize because typically otherwise im just numb to a lot of it or its just default my reality that its not distressing in any meaningful way until after the fact.

but like im ngl just because ive spent all of my teenage years upwards trying to take up literally the least space possible to exist and never show 80% of my "unacceptable" symptoms to 99% of people does not mean it makes it any less uncomfortable or awkward to like. be the token psychotic in some groups. to have to be the buzzkill and shit thats like hey sorry heres my hyperspecific request of the year because im fucking insane.

its miserable in a fresh new way of like sorry to have to remind everyone that its not actually a funny character quirk or joke my brain literally does not exist in your 'reality' in any meaningful way and the further outside of it i am on a given day the more unpleasant youre going to find me to be around. ignoring the insane person talking aimlessly in public doesnt actually help me it usually just reinforces that youre not real and never will be if its a bad enough day.

its never intentional. like nobody is ever doing this on purpose. especially again because i spent so much of my life being very good at hiding it. but like... it sucks so much to be masking half the time and be a little too good at it so when you stop being able to people are always levels of uncomfortable or upset. it sucks when you cant articulate anything properly and nobody really knows how to understand what youre asking for. it sucks when you have multiple severe memory conditions and cant trust your own memory and everyone immediately questions your memory when you ask for anything or point anything out. like of course im just going to fucking fold.

i dont know where im going with this or if this itself is even that coherent i know it sounds super vague but it really isnt about anyone specific im just babbling about like years worth of garbage. i got so fucked over by fakeclaiming culture because unfortunately when i started really displaying symptoms i was a teenager trying not to kill himself and being fucking insane loudly in virtual public when that was apparently an "obvious sign of exaggerating" so i had to learn to shut the fuck up and now everybody loves to forget how much im fucking unwell because god forbid you think too hard about what youre saying around others.

thank god for my partner who is literally the first person in my entire life whos ever tried to understand and genuinely knows how to talk to me when im in a particularly bad delusion or hallucinating or whatever.

man. im tired. i found out this last month i probably need to get a cane when i move out and i still feel like im going to be appropriating shit because severe knee and upper leg paint and severe balance problems cant be that bad. i hate having memory problems so bad that i so easily can be told that i dont know shit and Y is actually what happened and i usually cant actually argue against it even if im so sure thats not true.

#miles organizer #;kaz #this actually isnt really that bitter im just. talking. miserably. about psychosis. #i think i should be allowed to just be fucking insane in public and everybody should just have to deal with it and stop being uncomfortable #(thats kind of a joke im just sad.)

[wewebaggit]

SAG AFTRA issued a statement in favor of supporting Israel and twitter was going batshit condemning writers and also actors, suddenly the whole support for the strike became empty in ppl's eyes due to the state of politics.

I am unaware of this. As a general rule I'm not a fan of people airing out their opinions or even being expected to air out their opinions about everything under the sun but especially highly sensitive issues such as these for nothing but posturing. That's all. I saw some dumfuck post about history asking you what you did to stop the genocide. Keep your answers ready or whatever. And I'm like. Tell me what you did apart from a stupid Tumblr post abt your (not really) bleeding heart.

Mine may be an unpopular opinion but I do judge people who make it so that expressing their opinion on each and every sensitive issue of the day in public is their whole personality and making it a metric of judging people but most importantly propping themselves up.

If you're not out there doing shit then you aren't doing shit. Period. Please don't delude yourself into thinking that a name.txt post is you contributing towards the cause. Get off the high unicorn.

If SAG-AFTRA has done this, it's yet another incident of sticking it in the wrong place. Not everyone has the bandwidth of understanding everything. In fact, no one has that. And sometimes shutting the fuck up is good and recommended.

There's no need to add to the cacophony. As could be seen earlier more was made of what a celeb says instead of idk devoting that time to asking themselves what they did to stop the genocide for their history test or whatever.

My anger has and always will be for people wearing causes like designer bags. In this season, out the next. You're cool if you're wearing it and fuck off if you're not on it yet. How dare you.

That's what's happening. That is the long and short of it. I too have been a part of this posturing crowd in my youth but it was stupid then and it's stupid now. (I talk about myself preemptively answering any ask that may try to counter me on this daftest of points.)

The changing of the profile picture, the hashtags, they do nothing. If you're not converging with black armbands on the road, it's not a protest. If your work was done as you lay on the bed holding in or letting out a fart it's not work. Activism involves activity. And therefore, idgaf abt the discount slacktivists who tweet or tumble in the way one lies about speaking French on their CV.

Celebrities, non-celebrities, organisations not in the service of serving the cause, etc. can all go fuck off. An opinion is an opinion and it may be right or wrong. But it cannot take precedence over reality. You hate someone's opinion - then you want to hate them - but no you want them to first learn and apologise - and yet you want to hate them - or maybe you don't - and that will be your personality for a while. And guess what the issue was never what one fucker thought about something. The issue was always that *something*. And that something wasn't glamorous enough a 100 years ago and it isn't now.

We'd much rather engage in debating a reaction to a thing than understand that in the grand scheme of things a right and a wrong opinion both hold the same weight of a grand total of nothing. Because none of us is DOING anything. Poseurs the whole lot of us.

SAG-AFTRA put out a statement. Did it take a vote of its members to see if they agreed? If they took a vote was the vote split published? Why does an opinion on a geopolitical conflict have any bearing on the demand for better working conditions of members in an entirely different geographical location and vice versa?

Right now. At this moment. I could be pro either party or neutral or whatever and it would do nothing for nobody. Zilch. Anyone feeling otherwise about their own opinion is STUPID.

The witchhunting never stopped. We have more candidates that qualify for being witches and even more witchhunters now. And that's the main sport. That's the cause. Everything else is in assistance of. At least on twitter. N I guess even Tumblr now.

Before any asshole chimes in, I'm not talking about people doing the work. I'm talking about people who think they'd be deemed mute if they don't speak for once.

So I don't care for the opinions of anyone who's not a man on the ground. I just don't. Neither should anybody tbh.

I hope this also answers that other ask someone sent. I'm not attaching it here. But ya.

Also to my anons: ma'am this is an ST blog. Please.

#wewe's askbox #i didn't realise i wrote so much