#I am but a humble old ass man

[justleaf]

Marina leave other people in the fandom alone challenge 💀💀💀

#please I am so tired #I am but a humble old ass man #with limited time and energy

[norris55s]

we’re on each other’s team - max verstappen

red bull driver reader x max verstappen social media au

a/n: once again self indulging brain rot of what i (kinda unrealistically) think max & a (chaotic) teammate could be. face claim is sabrina carpenter

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maxverstappen1

liked by y/nusername, landonorris, redbullracing and 828,277 others

maxverstappen1: P2 for our start of the season! Thank you to everyone on the team for the rocket ship given to us this year🚀. And congratulations to y/nusername for the P1, I’ll get you next race😆

view all 4,629 comments

y/nusername: congrats on being promoted to my defense maxie!

thedutchlion: …she’s so stuck up

y/nteam: she’s joking, u should try having friends you can joke with

redbullracing: Proud of our drivers 💙

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y/nusername

liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 974,927 others

y/nusername: five wins in a row? who would’ve thought all you needed to give max verstappen a run for his money was a woman in a red bull? (me, i would’ve thought it). tysm redbullracing for this beautiful car❤️‍🔥 let’s keep the momentum up!

view all 5,693 comments

maxverstappen1: Well deserved wins, but the battle hasn’t finished!

y/nusername: the plan is to win many more battles maxie

danielricciardo: go get him tiger

lewishamilton: Amazing drive, congratulations! 🎊

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thef1paddocknews

liked by 67,928

thef1paddocknews: The Red Bull drivers speak on the media today about their head to head battle for the championship, considering Y/N’s five wins and Max’s four wins and pole position for this weekend.Max said “We are not giving second driver to anyone this year, the battle is obviously between us and that’s the way it should be. I am honestly enjoying racing against her, it’s very fun.” Y/N said “I joke around a lot, but it’s an honor to fight a three time defending world champion on track. I respect him a lot, and it’s mutual, so the racing is good fun and we’ll see what happens.”

view all 973 comments

scudesainz: who would’ve thought Red Bull domination could be fun

norrislights: this is 100% not how i expected either of them to act, i thought they’d have a huge fall out like brocedes

brocedeslove: 🫠

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f1waggossip

liked by 87,729

f1waggossip: As things stand, it’s all pointing towards a more than professional relationship between the Red Bull teammates, as they’ve been spotted vacationing for the summer break at the same place, Greece. How will this affect their performance on track?

view all 759 comments

maxchampion: “more than professional relationship” u mean friendship

cuntcedesrussel: i mean yea but why are they spending their summer break together when they already spend every moment on season together

y/nsdarling: what if… and just hear me out for a second… they are just vacationing together because they like each other

lovelyy/n: like each other as more than friends lol

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maxverstappen1

liked by y/nusername, landonorris, pierregasly and 738,629 others

maxverstappen1: Once again, congratulations y/nusername on your win today. To keep you humble, I added your picture meditating. We will keep pushing on my side of the garage till the end 💪🏼

view all 5,792 comments

y/nusername: give it up old man!! (we will fight you the end too 💙)

maxfanpage: I honestly feel like Y/N is riling Max up and also seducing him to win the championship

landonorizzzz: WHO LET THEM COOK 👩‍🍳

y/ngirly: ratio + nobody asked + stupid ass take + were you dropped as a child

comfortmax: you are dumb asf if you think max out of all people would let anything distract him from his goals… maybe y/n is just that good

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y/nusername

liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, georgerussell63 and 937,729 others

y/nusername: happy bday to my teammate who is always trying to beat me at everything, and who i am trying to seduce in return. love you maxie 💞

view all 7,629 comments

maxverstappen1: Seducing unnecessary, I will beat you anyway😂 Thank you for everything! Love you too.

landonorris: who doesn’t love competitive sexual tension

y/nmaxnation: HELLO??

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redbullracing

liked by 405,307

redbullracing: Everything comes down to today. In the final race of the year, one of our drivers will become champion. We, at the team, are all extremely proud of them, we wish them the best of luck, and we are lucky to call them our 2023 World Driver’s Championship 1st and 2nd place, no matter today’s result. 💙🏆

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y/nusername

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, sebastianvettel and 2,503,002 more

y/nusername: and that’s a world championship. i’m so immensely grateful to anyone who has ever supported me, from when i was a 6 year old trying to get in karts, a 13 year old traveling around the world with her mom competing, a 16 year old who thought her dream was over, an 18 year old that got her hope back, a 23 year old who took one step closer, and a 25 year old who finally did it, as well as everything in between. this is dedicated to anyone who has ever been told they couldn’t do it; you can.

special thank you to redbullracing and maxverstappen1, fighting with you and alongside you has been the privilege of a lifetime.

view all 10,027 comments

maxverstappen1: You deserve it all 💙

leclercsainzteam: tooth rottingly sweet i can’t

y/ndarling: im screaming crying and throwing up

landonorris: awwwwwwwyeah👏🏻

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maxverstappen1

liked by y/nusername, christianhorner, charles_leclerc and 1,038,827 others

maxverstappen1: We barely missed out on the fourth championship, but if anyone had to win I’m very glad it was y/nusername in my team. Congatulations as I eloquently wrote! 🎊🍾 🎈 Here’s to what’s to come.

view all 8,025 comments

y/nusername: maxie i couldn’t have done it without you pushing me to be my best

christianhorner: What an amazing season, and what an amazing pair of drivers! 💪🏼

maxielforever: i’m sorry but the way they hold each other you can’t tell me there isn’t something else there

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redbullracing

liked by 149,927

redbullracing: We had a blast at our team championship celebration party 🎈Max brought out the red balloons for Y/N, there was champagne, good food and even better company. Congratulations once again to our incredible drivers, and we are already looking forward to next year.

view all 6,728 comments

y/nreligion: shut the fuck up red is her favorite color that’s why he did that

maxloverboy: certified whipped behavior from both parties here, y’all see the way she’s looking at him?

vloggingy/n: i don’t understand why we always have to assume male and female friendships to be something else

formulared: i mean sure but we aren’t blind

#f1 au #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 x reader #formula 1 #max verstappen #max verstappen au #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen smau #max Verstappen fanfic

[kissitbttr]

your mafia!toji fic got me thinking so hard abt him😭😭 he’s deffo the type to just buy you sm stuff as an apology but when you don’t forgive him and sleep in a different bedroom mf will come into the room on his knees and beg for you to come to sleep 😩😩 imagine still saying no and him just flipping you onto his shoulders and carrying you to bed 🤭

oh you are absolutely correct!

|

“darling” toji softly calls you, letting out a tired sigh. “i said i was sorry. what am i supposed to do?”

“die” she replies nonchalantly, shoulders shrugging before grabbing a pillow and your favorite blanket off the bed,

he snickers, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow. “now, now that would be over dramatic don’t you think? won’t you miss me?”

he almost pisses his pants when she throws him a glare,

“okay. no jokes. got it” he put his hands up in surrender, feeling absolutely terrified at his baby being mad and speaking less than two words to him,

if anyone ever finds out that the most feared and notorious man in the city being tamed by his woman, he would never hear the end of it,

but she is scary. can you blame him?

toji looks over at the designer shoes and bags he just purchased a few hours ago, tucked neatly in the corner. untouched by her.

guess the apology gifts aren’t working,

“i didn’t know that she was coming, i haven’t even talked to her in years! never planned to anyway, you know i only got my eyes for my girl, right?”

she tries so hard not to roll her eyes,

toji had a meeting with one of the cartels at the club earlier that night. and of course, she always goes. it’s where he can always keep an eye on her and refuses to leave her at home all alone because he can’t risk that. also, because she’s his good luck charm. whenever she’s around, deals always goes well,

tonight was an exception though,

all was well until a certain person decided to crash. his old fling. one before he met his precious girlfriend. the red haired thought that it would be fun to press her fake ass tits against toji,

y/n was shocked to say at least. she didn’t say anything but her face spoke thousand words. toji could see that. throwing daggers at the bitch, corner of her lips quirk into a form of disgust.

and the worst part was? toji didn’t do anything about it! can you believe that asshole?!

something about being absolutely unprofessional if he was ever to push her off and it ticked y/n to the fucking bone so she decided to ignore him the rest of the night,

toji feels defeated when she chooses not to respond, simply just taking her stuff. he crouches lightly to look at her pretty face clearly. “baby… can you please look at me? I can’t stand seeing you mad. i’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”

if it was any circumstances, sure she would melt and jump in his arms. but tonight is different. how could he?

she looks up at him and whisper “fuck. you” before turning around angrily and walk out of the door to go sleep on the guest room,

toji groans, the heel of his palms pressing against his eyes. she has always been so stubborn. too fucking stubborn. exactly why he had to get rejected seven times before she accepted his date.

what? he needed to get humbled, so she gave him that.

he contemplate for a while whether or not he should let her be or not. then he chooses the latter. it would probably be best if he let her cool off some steam for a while, he doesn’t want to do any more damage or make her feel more annoyed by his presence,

bet. not even ten minutes later, he feels like losing his mind without her here.

“fuck this shit” he mutters, getting up from the bed. rubbing his face furiously before stomping towards the other side of the room,

he walks in without knocking, ready to say what he needs to say again. yet he stops. heart clenching at the sight of his girl curled up in bed, back facing him.

“love?” he slowly walks over to her laying figure,

“go away” she speaks. now in a softer tone

“please” he begs, walking around the bed and catching a glimpse of her playing with her pink manicured hands. “sweetheart. I’m sorry” he repeats, going down to her eye level before letting his hand moves to rest on her bare thigh. he’s internally relieved when she doesn’t push him off,

he sighs when she’s not looking at him, seemingly only focused on the nails that she had gotten done a week ago.

“i should’ve pushed her off. shouldn’t let her touch me like that. hell, i shouldn’t even let her breathe near me. i know that” he realizes his mistake. “i didn’t even think about what my girl needed. i was being a horrible boyfriend”

no answer,

he sighs again, refusing to look away from her pretty eyes,

“baby—“

“i heard you the first time. leave. and close the door”

toji is taken aback. fuck. she really is mad at him.

“you don’t mean that”

“uhm, yes i do” she retorts in an obvious tone, sassily raising her eyebrow before scooting a bit further from him. she doesn’t realize this but it makes his heart break,

“princess, i swear-“

“go call that girl back to keep you company. let that fucking bitch sleep by your side” she mutters, looking at the tv instead of him,

he can’t take this anymore,

“you know what? that’s it” toji had enough, he will not be sleeping alone and neither will she. standing up on his feet, his hands reach out to circle around her ankles before tugging her body towards him causing her to yelp,

“toji! what the fuck are you doing-oh!” her voice gets cut off the moment he pulls her body up like she weighs nothing. throwing her over his shoulder. “put me down!” her fists start to hitting his back—as if they’re actually hurting him— legs swinging back and forth

“nope” he answers, keeping a firm grip around her waist before swatting her ass, locking the guest room behind him and walking back to their shared one. “you’re driving me crazy, woman—not saying that i hate it, but i’m pretty fucking beat tonight and we are going to sleep together. so stop fighting me”

she huffs, admitting defeat and letting him carry to the bed. “fuck you, toji”

he smirks at that. “oh i will, baby”

#mafia!toji #toji x reader

[nyaagolor]

AA characters ranked based on whether I think I can beat them in a fight

Phoenix: Absolutely not. I don’t think he can or would throw a punch back, but his sheer endurance and invulnerability means that I can never achieve true victory. I’m not convinced he has a hitbox.

Apollo: He would actually fight back, which I can appreciate— however his punch in 4-1 didn’t manage to faze Phoenix whatsoever so I think I can endure long enough to verbally attack his insecurities until he gives up. Get ready for a verbal smack down, Justice, I am not afraid to make fun of your father issues.

Athena: I would get my ass handed to me in three seconds and we both know this, so I personally would just skip the fight and buy her a smoothie or something. No hurt feelings

Maya:

Pearl: I can and will throw hands with a nine-year old to make myself feel better about losing a fight to multiple attorneys. Whether or not it’s fair I count this as a win.

Trucy: She can throw knives I don’t fuck with that.

Edgeworth: According to one of the artists he’s shredded and has a six-pack, but someone has to humble him. Put up your dukes you stupid cunt, this is for Franziska’s honor

Franziska: No.

Godot: On one hand he’s a post-coma disabled man on the other hand he did stab someone to death I think I have a 50/50 chance here. If it’ll shut him up that’s a gamble I’m willing to take

Klavier: He may look strong but I see the definition around that collarbone, I know he’s dehydrated. I could take him. We can televise it. It’ll be great. Imagine the ad revenue

Simon: He would snap me like a toothpick but I think I’m ok with that

Nahyuta: Whether or not I can, I feel like I should. Meet me behind the courthouse for an ass-kicking, Sahdmadhi

#ace attorney #Phoenix wright #Maya fey #Pearl fey #miles edgeworth #Apollo justice #Franziska Von karma #athena cykes #Diego Armando #Godot #Klavier Gavin #Simon blackquill #Nahyuta sahdmadhi #mod vex

[iridescentdove]

What about a Platonic! BSD x Child! Reader is very smart, like almost Ranpo-level smart, but they don’t use their smarts and intellect for anything at all except for online video games, board games, etc., and they’re lazy and don’t go outside at all. Plus, the first time Reader and Dazai had a game of chess, Dazai literally lost two moves in, and Dazai was rethinking his entire life choices in that moment because how the fu-

(How Dazai and Reader’s game of chess went *REAL* link)

WHY DO I HEAR BOSS MUSIC?

platonic!bsd x child!smart!reader

A/N: I for an odd reason, love it when characters are humbled and seen inferior 😭 I love this request too! Here it is~

Everyone loves you.

I'm so jealous rn /j

Well as a kid it would be expected to be like that! Although, it was a little different as you were ... considered unique to other children around you. How so?

ULTRA DEDUCTION BABY.

No but for real. FUKUZAWA merely took you into the agency since you seemed to have had no parents by your side to take care of you. As such, he took on the responsibility himself. The agency takes care of you now! <3

Anyways, let's say you were basically rivalling RANPO in terms of deduction and overall smartness capabilities, as he now thinks you are a worthy opponent.

But even he himself lost to someone like DAZAI.

Yes. Of course it was true, the suicidal detective just seemed to be way too good. The so-called 'world's best detective' had lost to a man, in which who, flirts with women 24/7 and asks for double suicide everywhere he went.

But to say the day came when brunette's demise lurked around the corner ... because of a chess game.

The agency had nothing important going on in particular as the peace of Yokohama was maintained in the meantime. Simply put, you guys were on vacation. So what else to do other than some old family bonding?

There were lots of activities planned that day, and everyone had enjoyed it to the fullest. You did also find it fun, but ... of course, for someone your age – you were mature as fuck.

And so, you did what everyone wouldn't have the balls to do.

Challenge DAZAI OSAMU himself to a chess match.

So obviously, everyone got a bit nervous. Pretty sure you had no idea how smart the suicidal maniac was, nor did they ever believe you would last a good 'ol round even once. By some experience of a certain detective – there is absolutely no one better than DAZAI himself.

The chess game went on. You looked so cute and innocent! Maybe he should go easy on you?? After all, you're just a kid.

And yet ... he was downright horrified.

In a matter of four turns in, the death-craving young man was absolutely OBLITERATED by you. Upon the match ending, a pin drop silence was heard. Eyes widened in shock, whom even RANPO himself never imagined such. Everyone never spoke, not even coughed for a solid 5 minutes.

But it was true. You DID defeat him. FUKUZAWA had the face of a very proud parent – he really didn't think you'd emerge victory in this small innocent match.

The president promised to treat you out next time a successful mission was in tow. Of course, DAZAI couldn't believe he had lost to you! A little child!

It would definitely take a lot of time for him to wrap his head around that – but once he does, oh boy.

I think you a little crazy there uncle ahaha

He almost literally brags about your existence everyday to anyone. You can't tell me he hasn't literally shoved in and mocked in front of people's faces with that shit eating grin of his oh my fucking God 😭

Then again, no one is safe. An even better gifted than the two greatest treasures of the Armed Detective Agency.

FYODOR better be shaking in his fugly ass boots.

You're coming for him alright. (and so am I)

Honestly, the ADA cannot be anymore proud to have an ally like you by their side. Missions and war would cease to exist from how well you managed to help them. And even moreso, combined with RANPO himself.

World destruction who?? I only know (Y/N) (L/N) 😍

Your existence is known, everyone knows about what you've done and how respected you are despite your young age.

Who tf let the Port Mafia fuck ya'll up?? Oh nevermind they were destroyed because of ur amazing little ass. The Hunting Dogs tryna tear apart the ADA which was mistaken as terrorists? Umh chill anyways so you already had a plan– RANPO doesn't know what to do for once? You're already there to help. Decay of the Angels? Lives up to their name, they're decaying under your superior brain and intellect.

You're just found to be the lifeline of the agency. In return, everyone treats you very well (spoils you even), making sure you lived your days as a child to the best extreme possible.

And to be frank – no one dare underestimate you anymore.

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #platonic bsd #armed detective agency #ada x reader #bsd #decay of angels #port mafia #ranpo edogawa #dazai osamu

[thedevilspearl]

please be on your old man Lucifer agenda more often we love to see it 🙇

a/n: so lucifer with erectile dysfunction is what gets you going, huh? kidding but yesss let’s talk about old man luci some more bc i for one can’t get enough (i am tempted to start spreading my dilf!lucifer agenda >_<)

warning: none really, other than age gap maybe (but it’s nothing specified). minors do not interact!

oldman!lucifer is a man with impeccable and acquired taste. so it doesn’t matter if you’re a pretty, young thing or aged like fine wine just like him; if he chooses you, that’s a blessing in and of itself.

his bones may be beginning to wear away and his body may ache with the years he has lived through, but oldman!lucifer always has the energy to pursue the one who caught his eye.

speaking of eyes, oldman!lucifer has cute little crows feet on his. and the ruby in his eyes still glimmer, showing that despite his age, he has more than enough spirit left in him.

but oldman!lucifer has very poor eyesight so more often than not, he’ll be wearing his glasses. they’re a nuisance at times, but he will always wear them when you’re around because he wants to see your beauty in all it’s glory.

even when you’re on your knees between his legs, oldman!lucifer will push up his glasses that keep sliding down from the sweat just so he can admire your pretty face as you gag on his cock.

now onto the cock, having erectile dysfunction is not something oldman!lucifer would ever want to admit. but when your piece of ass first crossed his path, it was the first time he felt himself harden naturally in months. your pretty face and compatible personality only add to his attraction for you.

oldman!lucifer longs for you and his cock hardens thinking of you and how wonderful his cock would feel wrapped up in your body. he reminisces the way you touched his arm and the flirty smile you flashed his way earlier that day.

he grunts as he strokes his cock under the covers and oldman!lucifer feels ashamed to be sullying your image by masturbating to the thought of you just because he can finally get hard again.

but then oldman!lucifer reminds himself that you are the reason he’s jacking off at midnight like a teenage boy who can’t control his hormones.

so oldman!lucifer decides pursuing the real thing would be much more exciting than his juvenile activities. so when you next meet, he decides to approach you.

he flirts with you in a way which you can only describe as gentlemanly. oldman!lucifer pursues you with elegance and class, taking you to the finest of places. if you prefer more simple and humble settings, he will learn and cater all dates to your interest and comfort.

and you don’t need to think twice because oldman!lucifer pays for all of your dates. that’s how it was done back in his day, and it’s most certainly how he does it now.

his legs may be weaker than when he was younger, but oldman!lucifer doesn’t miss the way your feet rub up and down his calf under the table and it shoots shocks of electricity right up his legs and to his cock.

oldman!lucifer went from having no control over his cock getting hard to trying his hardest to hide his boner as he walks out of the restaurant with you on his arm.

like the gentleman he is, oldman!lucifer drives you home and pretends he doesn’t notice the way your gaze lingers on him while he drives. he pulls up and walks you to your door, and he told himself to not be desperate and get his dick wet too early. but he can’t stop himself when you asked him to come in with those seductively pouty lips and needy eyes.

he takes it easy on the first night, slowly drowning you in pleasure and oldman!lucifer can barely hold back himself. he hasn’t had a night like this since....well, he can’t remember how long it’s been.

and he doesn’t give up after one night. he meets up with you several times a week, then it turns into every day. and it’s not just for sex. for a man at his age, it’s difficult for oldman!lucifer to find valuable company that appreciates him as much as he appreciates others.

but that changes with you and the already lonely soul of oldman!lucifer is even lonelier when he’s not around you.

oldman!lucifer does move quickly and his pacing may scare you, but it’s just because he’s desperate for companionship.

he loves having his cock buried in your hole(s) and oldman!lucifer loves hearing you scream his name as he ploughs into you, or listening to you whimper with tears when he makes love to you.

he loves feeling alive again, not just because his cock is but because you redefine his meaning of living. oldman!lucifer thought he’d learned everything there was to learn, but you teach him things he would never thought to have known.

oldman!lucifer ’s love language is gift giving. he is always thinking of new things to buy you. but he’s an old man so sometimes his gifts are what you’d expect your grandparents to give you when you move into your first home.

he doesn’t know what an air fryer is, but he thinks you need one and now you have one in your kitchen. is that a new top of the range vacuum cleaner? well, now it’s added to his shopping basket ready to be delivered to your house as a surprise. oldman!lucifer takes care of your home as much as he takes care of you.

even if he has kids of his own, oldman!lucifer doesn’t think he’s particularly good with children. toddlers and young kids tend to be repelled by his resting grumpy face, but teenagers, however, take a liking to him.

oldman!lucifer has shiny silver tips in his hair, and he obsesses every morning when he looks in the mirror because he has two, no, three new grey hairs and he can’t handle it. nor can he handle the wrinkles. to cope, he forces himself to act cool and nonchalant about his ageing, like he didn’t even notice it happening.

but oldman!lucifer finds a way to love it all because you run your fingers through his greying hair with so much gentleness, and you kiss all of his skin with so much love regardless of his wrinkles, and you adore him exactly how he is that makes him never want to change.

#i got majorly carried away with these #♡ pearl’s writing #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me smut #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer smut

[iris-sistibly]

Okay babes, episode 8 is nothing short of exciting!

📍Hae-in choosing to divorce Hyun-woo so he'd finally be free from all the bullshit her family put him up with, and Hyun-woo deciding to stay at Queens so he could prove his innocence and protect Hae-in. I feel sad that they actually divorced but again, it was necessary for them to "part ways" so they'd find their way back into each other, and I think the next episode will be about them slowly rekindling their romance and hopefully healing from the past. I am anticipating a more beautiful wedding than their first one.

📍Don't get me wrong, I still hate Eun-seong but now I'm becoming more and more interested in his backstory, so this bitch still has some ✨humanity✨ in him, judging from the way he reacted when he found out about Hae-in's illness. Him saving Hae-in from the dog attack when they were kids answered the question why he hates dogs. He's still trash, however I do have a feeling that he will have some character redemption somewhere and will basically help Hae-in find a cure, but we'll never know for sure.

📍Hong Man-dae is the biggest fucking idiot among the Hong family, I'm not saying he deserves what happened to him, I'm saying that he needs to learn the hard way and be slapped with the truth so hard that I want him to come down to his knees and beg his children for forgiveness. As much as I feel sorry for him, he was a terrible father to all of them when they got older...and trusting a fucking shaman? Really?

📍Speaking of which, I am actually glad that the Hong family is now broke af. They need to be humbled big time, especially Hae-in's mom, that bitch is such a poor judge of character. I want her to feel embarrassed and terrible about herself for constantly looking down at Hyun-woo and his family, these are the same people who'd willingly save and help their asses even if it meant getting dragged into this shit hole they dug themselves. Also, I saw a clip of the nosy old ladies who were making fun of her at the salon, I say...DESERVE! I hope she starts to change because honestly, I'm so fed up with her and her bullshit.

📍Soo-cheol maybe immature, but I have to admit that he's a good father. He just wanted his son to experience everything he never did, idk what Da-hye was up to. Maybe it was part of their plans? Perhaps she foresaw how messy it's going to be that's why she chose to run away, we'll never know for sure. I still have faith that she'll choose to do what's right for the sake of her son, after all, Soo-cheol treated her and their baby well.

📍Shout out to Song Joong-ki for his cameo. Hiring Vincenzo as a divorce lawyer is such a Hae-in move 😂

#netflix #tvn #kdrama #queen of tears #kim soo hyun #kim ji won #park sunghoon #lee joo bin #kwak dong yeon #baek hyun woo #hong hae in #yoon eun seong #cheon da hye #hong soo cheol #baekhong #pls let them reconcile already!!!! #song joong ki #vincenzo

[moongothic]

Look I just had to get this out of my system man

I keep on thinking about what kind of theoretical hoops Crocodad would have to jump through to happen in canon and I figured being able to actually visualize the known timeline would help

And that's what this post is about. We have a visual of the timeline. Now let us think about it a whole lot.

Minor notes about the timeline graph; Luffy's birthday is on May 5th and Croc's is on September 5th, so both would get a +1 to their ages by the end of this year in the timeline. On this note, if I am not mistaken, the year Luffy was born Crocodile would've been 27 at the time of his birth and would then turn 28 a few months later. But this is assuming Crocodile is already, at this moment, 46 years old (as opposed to if he was only turning 46 this year in which case he would actually be 45 at this moment, which would further mean he would've been 26 at the time of Luffy's birth and would've turned 27. It's slightly hard to tell what the case is exactly since we don't really get those exact timestamps during the actual story, but I think he's supposed to be 46 turning 47, and that's the assumption this post is written with). (Further sidenote, according the Vivre Card Databooks (appearently), the Strawhats got to Whiskey Peak in February and by late March had obtained Thousand Sunny. Thing is that Luffy was implied to have left on his adventure around his 17th birthday, which would mean that 8-9 months would've passed between Luffy setting out and arriving at Whiskey Peak, and he would've been a few months away from turning 18 already. Which, like, is plausible, but I'm personally willing to ignore this trivia information, not gonna fucking lie)

Anyways, to recap the timeline

We don't know

When Crocodile set out to become a pirate; since he was present at Roger's execution I think the implication would be that he would've set out soon after that, at age 22, but it's entirely possible he might've already been a no-name pirate before that or he could've set out a few years after the execution

When he met Ivankov and if their meeting was like a one-and-done thing and that they never saw each other again until Impel Down, or if that's just when they first got to know each other. (In Iva's own words (in Japanese), they knew Crocodile "during the era when he was still considdered a rookie")

When he got humbled by Whitebeard; it was "soon after" he became a Shichibukai (in Oda's words), but we can't tell if that was like 2 days or 10 months after becoming a Shichibukai

What we do know is that

Crocodile made a name for himself fast "much like Luffy" (in Oda's words); you could interpret that as him causing just a ton of chaos within like a year of entering the Grand Line

He rose to fame and became a Shichibukai in the first half of his 20's (in Oda's words), so before he turned 25?

He supposedly "calmed down" / "went quiet" (again, in Oda's words) for an unknown period of time

By the time he was 30 he was appearing on the news for his heroics; we don't know when he started appearing on the news, just that by this point he was appearing on the news

So I believe the implication is that Crocodile set out on his adventure between the ages of 21-24. If you wanted to push the Crocodad angle, you might want to push it to that 24 (since his Rookie Adventure happened so fast), which would also be around the time of the Revolutionary Army's founding. And while it is entirely plausible Crocodile could've had his ass kicked by Whitebeard VERY soon after his promotion, or it could've been around the time he was like 25-26, if you really wanted to push it for the Crocodad angle. And indeed, we don't know how Crocodile and Iva-chan knew each other. The implication I think is that he transitioned before he rose to fame as a rookie, but he could've just befriended Iva-chan at the time and gotten more well acquainted with the Revolutionaries after his ass kicking and transitioned later. It would just push the "knew him in the era he was considdered a rookie" to an absolute limit, but it would be technically true, just. Kinda pushing it.

And indeed, the Problem Point; Crocodile would've transitioned at age 27 after having Luffy, already a Shichibukai, a public-ish figure.

So if you wanted Crocodad to be canon, either

A) Crocodile being trans isn't a secret, it's something else that Iva-chan tried to blackmail him with B) Crocodile being trans is a secret, so how the fuck did he keep it if he transitioned at 27

If A); Indeed, if there was a scandal about a Shichibukai suddenly transitioning, it would've been like 17-19 years ago. Arguably that would not be something worth bringing up by anyone anymore considdering he had spent at least the past 14 years (pre-timeskip) being a hero to the masses, followed by his warcrimes. Like, it'd be old news. Which would just leave us wondering what the hell the "weakness" Iva-chan mentions really was about (a child, maybe? Or a threat of detransitioning him? Something else?)

If B); Although he was clearly a menace as a rookie as he got himself a relatively massive bounty relatively fast and became a Shichibukai at a young-ish age, we don't know how many bounties he went through before he was offered the position and how he appeared on the news at the time. Like if he went through 2-6 bounty updates before becoming a Shichibukai and appeared in the news A TON it'd feel unlikely he'd be able to keep transitioning later a secret. But if he only had like 1-2 bounties in a short span of time without being photographed too much, it'd definitely feel more plausible. Especially if his OG bounty photos were either shitty sketches (like Sanji's OG poster) or like otherwise poor photos that didn't show his face/features too well. This could also be helped if pre-T (and pre-pregnancy hormones)!Crocodile was kind of androgynous (like Cavendish) and people confused him for a man to begin with On top of this, if Crocodile lost his left hand and got his scar from Whitebeard, if he just went "missing" and then came back transitioned 2-4 years later, he could maybe argue that he was like. A late bloomer. And had hit the gym after Whitebeard kicked his ass. Like yeah he had changed a lot but it's not like there's other Sand Sand Fruit users around claiming to be Crocodile. And it is worth reminding that Iva-chan ability to change people's bio-sex isn't super well known in-universe. So even if people saw him on the news and were like "wait wasn't Crocodile a chick", without knowledge of Iva's abilities people could've been like "no way, surely not, that's not possible". And although the Government maybe could've found it suspicious if they knew about Iva's abilities (which they might've, as Ivankov was a Revolutionary, and their Warlord interacting with a Revolutionary would be sus), as long as Crocodile played nice (which he did, during his Heroic Era) they might've just let it go? (Also if Crocodile was rich at the time he probably could've bribed Morgans to make sure whatever news they published about him didn't ever question his gender or anything)

So all of this to say,

The Most Likely and Most Viable Timeline for Crocodad to be canon would be, approximately;

24-25 Becomes a Shichibukai, gets his ass kicked

25-27 Enters his Quiet Era, Romances Dragon

27-28 Luffy is born, transitions, back to Shichibukai'ing

Of course, this is not an absolute timeline, it's just the one that seems the most viable to me. 'Cause even this timeline is really pushing what Oda and Iva have told us about Crocodile, both the "first half of his 20's" (as opposited to mid 20's), and the "when he was considdered a rookie".

It's pushing it. But it's kind of plausible. And I can't imagine how else it could work in canon.

I do find it interesting though how Crocodile's "quiet era" does overlap nicely with when Luffy was born. Like we don't know how long that era lasted, for all we know Crocodile could've started to get Alabasta like a year after getting his ass kicked by Whitebeard. But it's interesting! And interesting coincidence!

Another interesting note is that 17 is an... interesting number. Like Oda's first one-shot, WANTED! was published when Oda was 17 and that in some ways marks the begining to his adventure as a comic artist. Similarly, Luffy set out on his adventure at the age of 17. A lot of people have been speculating if the God Valley Incident is what caused Dragon to leave the Marines because he would've been 17 at the time. And... It's not quite the same, but if Crocodile transitioned at 27 (as in, started a 'new life', a 'new adventure' as a man at 27)... IDK it'd be an interesting coincidence

Sitenote Re:Missing Kuja Empress

19 years ago, the year Luffy was born, Hancock and her sisters were kidnapped off of the Kuja Pirate's ship when the previous Empress was still the head of the crew

15 years ago the Boa sisters escape slavery and return to Amazon Lily, the status of the former Empress is unknown

13 years ago Hancock becomes the new Empress, the former Empress is presumably dead by this point (as she is said to have died from Love Sickness)

Point being; I reaaally doubt Crocodile is the missing Empress. Like if the former Empress had also been a Shichibukai and had transitioned and was still around, there's no fucking way people wouldn't know about that, right. Like surely they wouldn't say she had died specifically of Love Sickness, right. Like it's not impossible but surely not

#Moon posting #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Look I just figured if I want to get this out of my system I should do that before Oda debunks the theory entirely #I know I've posted a lot about this but previously my posts have been just unfiltered thought vomit #And I just wanted to like. Organize My Thoughs and get them out of my system all nice and tidy #The worst thing about this is that at first I look at the timeline and what we know and I'm like ''no way. It's not real'' #But then I think about the potential ways to get around The Problem Point and I'm like ''but what if?'' #I must smother my own hopes and dreams lest I become disappointed when Oda debunks it #And yet I wish to hang onto hope #I am Boo Boo the Fool #Anyway this has been your Daily Crocodile Meta Post please enjoy #OP Meta

[perdicinae-observer]

Title.

Urgh, how do people normally start this... Fancy greetings? Right, right. Hm...

Afternoon. (That was not fancy at all.)

This is Marshal Louis-Nicolas Davout writing. Or...well, typing.

I've decided to finally excuse myself from my moping session solitude and venture into unknown territory that is this strange platform. (Which I have been...observing from a distance.)

Seeing as my late colleagues have been up to some...shenanigans on this platform, I might as well find something to amuse myself with the ample time I'm given and do some...[*grimaces*]...socialising.

[*sigh*] I'm going to regret this...

So, to whoever may see this and care; you are free to send me your questions, letters, and queries regarding whichever subject you wish. I will be reading through and answering them accordingly when I am not busy tending to domestic matters around the painfully quiet estate.

However, do be mindful of the things you send. Respect goes both ways and I do not like to squabble. Unless it's against certain bastards.

Unsavoury comments regarding my hair will swiftly be ignored and used as fuel for the fireplace.

...Don't expect me to initiate interactions much. Sorry.

Regards,

L Davout.

——————————•

!! This is a joke RP account run by @mbenguin, a guy who is in no way shape or form a bona fide historian-- just really enthusiastic about balding dead nerds and French history! This is in no way meant to be accurate, analytical, or faithful 100% to reality despite being based on actual historical facts to a certain degree. This is a fictionalised parody that is meant to be in-character as possible to my interpretation of the man himself and I'm doing it for shits and giggles !!

Handy list of folks participating in this madness (whose exchanges will be tagged separately!)

Events (chronological) ──

[Current event summary : Davout is out on a group mission to retrieve Ney from an evil painting realm, so his raven companion Lenoir takes over answering letters in his absence.]

Birth of "Lenoir", Hell's cutest ink demon chick ✓

Local Old Man Turned Cutest Owl Ever, More On Page 2 ✗

Princess of Eckmühl(?) ✓

⇲ Swedish Home Invasion ✓

⇲ Catgirl Madness (ft. The Ass Boys) ✓

The Ginger Rescue Expedition ✗

⇲ Lenoir took over correspondence! ✗

⇲ Party ADCs in the house tonight ✗

Tags ──

#correspondance de Savigny-sur-Orge -- The marshal's replies to his letters- sent straight from his humble, lonely manor. Could both be written and spoken answers.

#dépêches personnelles -- General responses/exchanges (hilarity ensues)

#proclamations du Prince d'Eckmühl -- Important announcements/event messages

#représentations par le petit gardien -- Drawn visual representation by the marshal's mysterious companion...whose text will be in purple!

#galerie d'oiseaux -- Collection of bird images that 'ruffled his feathers.' With positive connotations.

Be careful when asking questions regarding Aimée or his family!

——————————•

#a wild davout appears! #proclamations du Prince d'Eckmühl #historical rpf #napoleonic rpf #napoleonic shitpost #louis nicolas davout #napoleon's marshals #rp blog #ask blog

[borderlinebox]

Sup! hope you’re having a great day 😮💗 having childhood best friend brainrot- “you have my back right?” x “lmao probably” cheesy but I eat that shit up every time

could you write a oneshot or headcannon

for chishiya? He’s gotten/done something that’s worth celebrating (maybe it’s his birthday, got first place or a hundred on his test, got into the college that he applied to) he’s never been told by someone that they’re proud of him not even from his old man so he went on with his day expecting nothing special

But but BUT chishiya hears the familiar patterned knocks on his window, how they managed to get up there without his father knowing is beyond him but he’s relieved considering his old man isn’t all that fond with them (In this scenario id imagine that chishiya’s father wouldn’t really like us bc of our shortcomings? something like that...and if he isn’t friends with our parents)

they sneak (more like drag) him out with a lot of convincing and celebrate by going into places he would tolerate or enjoy,,rip his friend’s allowance 💸 At the end of the night they both end up on a park bench with store bought cake with messy written icing “I’m so pr he I did it bitch!!” done by yours truly. they do say it to him and give him a short side hug before he gets back home tho

Feel free to decline this! take care ⭐️

Celebrate With Me!

Summary: Reader acknowledges Chishiya's accomplishments.

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader

Warning: That good cliche shit, FLUFF, cuteness overload, not proofread!!!, changed a few things up!

A/N: ISTG I'm boutta make a Chishiya X Bestfriend! Reader bundle because these requests are too cute!! Hope you have a great day as well and take care too ^^ <3 I am incredibly happy and proud on how this turned out!!! Spent a literal 2 hours straight on it because I lost some progress and I'm gonna have my ass whooped later but this should cover the blow LOVE YALL AND THIS REQQQ ♥

Feedback is highly appreciated!!!

Chishiya sat upon his desk chair, currently finishing up some notes. Just things he's learnt or felt like he found interesting. He could use it in the future. Distant music playing from his favorite band echoed softly in his room.

There wasn't much to do. He'd recently gotten a letter from a university he had applied to - which he was successfully accepted in. He could say he was happy for himself but it just wasn't that exciting or celebration-worthy to him.

He continuously tapped the tip of the pen against the table in a rhythm, re-reading the paragraphs of various words.

SMACK

The sudden noise caught Chishiya's attention as he quickly twisted his head towards the loud noise. There, on his window, a handprint was seen as it was slowly sliding down the window, failing to stick.

Its fingers soon danced on the window, creating multiple and small taps across the glass pane without a proper flow of beat.

Chishiya sighed and stood up and opened the window to reveal his friend struggling to hold onto his window's support,

"Y/N, What are you doing here?" He wasn't at all surprised. He was just more so concerned why you were currently hanging by a thread on his window.

"I'll tell you when I get inside. Right now let's focus on the part where you shoULD BRING ME INSIDE." You flailed your legs around as you struggled to even breathe properly.

He hissed at you to stay quiet and helped you up to sneak inside.

There was a voice, somewhere in his mind where he actually wanted to leave you hanging for a while to amuse himself but that would have been a bad idea.

Once you had both your feet on the floor of his bedroom, you dusted yourself off and took a much needed breather. You had been running to his house since 45 minutes ago. It was hard with the troublesome traffic and people yelling at you as you swerved your way through them, you're just glad you've finally reached his humble abode.

"Right, Explain." He said bluntly, doing his signature move; placing his hands into his pockets. "How did you even get up here?"

You shaked your hand profusely, deflecting the topic. "Never mind that-, guess who found out when your birthday iiiisss?" You looked up at him with a tired yet mischievous grin.

"I'm guessing you."

"Me," You announced proudly while facing your thumb towards yourself, chest up in victory. "And you wanna know what I'm gonna do about it?"

"Please don't." Chishiya sighed, point-blankly. Unfortunately, there was no hope of changing the situation's circumstances because he knew when you were hooked on something, it's sure that you'll be hell-bent on getting it, no matter how stupidly dangerous or ridiculous it may seem.

You laughed before dropping down to the carpeted floor of his room and picking up your sling bag. "Now, as I was saying," Your finger dramatically pointed towards the bag. "We gotta celebrate! So we're going out and hang!"

"I really rather not." He stood his ground, stubbornly declining your offer.

"Come on, you're gonna celebrate your birthday with me!" You teased with the same playful grin you gave him. He was always so stubborn when it came to things he accomplished or failed - whether you wanna celebrate it or cheer him up. Either way, you were going to be even more stubborn than him this time.

"No." He muttered out sternly.

"Yes," You pushed with determination. "We are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No"

"Yes"

"No-"

"Why not??" You broke the repetitive, single-worded debate and gave him a sad look. "You never celebrate anything. Don't you want me to show you how happy and proud I am for you, Chishiya?"

Chishiya seemed to be broken from his train of thought at his words. He was silent, but you could tell that he was processing your words and calculating a response as if he was some kind of robot. You'd have to be honest, he kind of is one sometimes-

"Fine, I'll go and celebrate my birthday." Was all he said, his condescending look seeming to have disappeared - replaced with an unreadable expression.

It didn't feel like an answer at all - you felt disappointed. But you decided to push away those feelings for later because you were still ecstatic about your achievement and that's what mattered.

"W-Wonderful! You go get prepared or something!" You told him in a panic frenzy and opened the window from where you cam from. "I'll wait for you to climb out the window!"

And before waiting for his response, the last thing Chishiya saw of you was you already dipping out of the window and landed on the lush grass, in pain - as he presumed. He quickly changed and made his way down the stairs, being granted the permission to leave.

Chishiya would probably be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little bit concerned for your well being when you jumped out of that window.

To his surprise, when he went outside, he saw you standing proudly with a little dirt in your hair and face.

"You goof??" He asked, eyeing you up and down.

"Perfect, Great! I didn't get hurt, totally didn't - I think I sprained my wrist but that's totally fixed now." You spoke quickly, not even giving him a chance to say another word since you had grabbed him by his wrist. "Now come on! We don't have all day."

-

"Was this necessary?" Chishiya mutters blankly as he takes in the view of the park. It was a rather quiet, and less populated park wherever you and Chishiya both lived. Not many people visited everyday but there were still some who came often. Parks that were more widely known had a bigger crowd and you know Chishiya enough to know that he doesn't like big crowds. Especially the noise that comes with it.

"It was either this or the carnival next place." You turned to him and raised your brow.

"I think I prefer the park." He shrugged. It wasn't a bad place at all - Fairly clean and a decent view. You would sometimes come here alone and think, maybe even attempt to bring Chishiya over. But he was either busy or too stubborn to go. Thankfully, you managed to corner him.

Even though Chishiya let you take him here this time.

Both of you took your time there, having deep talks which mostly started off with why he hadn't really celebrated many past birthdays, which made you frown a lot. Chishiya thought it was half a mistake to give you that information after you had told him that you were gonna celebrate his birthday for him every year instead.

He may be lying if he didn't appreciate it.

The rest of the time, both of you walked and talked on the more philosophical topics. Just the precious quality time between two great lov friends, walking underneath the cloudy weather with strands of sunlight pushing through and landing on the cobblestone pavements.

It didn't seem much as a birthday celebration to the regular human etiquette but you could care less because both of you were having. swell time. Even if neither of you said it. It was a bonding time that didn't need the use of an explanation and more of a feeling.

Your eye was caught by a flock of ducks roaming around a side of a pond next to a woman selling duck food or pieces of bread. Chishiya must've noticed this since you had fully stopped walking and stood in place, staring at them.

"You wanna feed the ducks?" His voice brought you out of your mini daydream, he had his natural high charm evident in his face and voice.

"I, well, if you want to. It's your birthday, not mine.." You mumbled out, it was a bit low for anyone to actually process your words, seeing that you would be a little upset that you didn't feed those ducks.

"Okay then," He lightly smiles and walks his way past you with a bored yet slightly amused expression. "Let's go feed those ducks."

Like a little kid who had been given permission to sleep over at his friend's house, you giddily smiled and practically swooshed right on past him and over to the woman selling the small bits of food.

You quickly bought two small bags and handed one over to Chishiya. He took the bag filled with small, multiple pieces of duckfeed into his hands and looked back up at you. "If I'm gonna feed the ducks, you've gotta feed them too." You told him with a bright smile before kneeling down to the ducks.

Chishiya opened the bag and shook around its contents before taking out a handful and throwing it onto the ground the ducks stood upon with a blank face.

However, you had a cute and dorky smile on your face while you handfed them all equally. Some of them bit you by accident but it was no more painful than a light pinch. Your smile was bright enough to light up a whole room, Chishiya thought as he held back the urge to smile at your antics.

A chuckle from the old vendor caught both of your attention. When she noticed she sighed softly, "Sorry,"

You smiled, "No worries! It's absolutely fine! Why were you chuckling anyway?" Hand finding its way to the bag full of duck feed to gather some more and hand over the pieces to the ducks.

She grinned at the both of you. "Both of you are so cute, are you a couple?"

The question caught both of you off guard. You could quite literally feel the tension rise in the atmosphere. You felt your breath hitch and your lungs close as it denied you to breath from the sudden question.

"No! No, heh, we're just friends." You shot up with an awkward smile at the lady who had understood the tension between her and you both. You look back up at Chishiya with a nervous look on your face. "Isn't that right, Chi?"

He appeared to have froze due to your question. Or was he just standing still and silent because he had zoned out? Was he deeply immersed in his thoughts?

"No, we're friends." Chishiya confirmed. You expected that answer but you couldn't help but feel the pang in your heart when he actually said it.

The vendor nodded and apologized once again for asking such a question. She went back to her small stand to mind her own business instead.

Now you and Chishiya kept on feeding the ducks until both your bags were completely empty, all in awkward silence. Not one of you tried to break the ice since it appeared that no one had anything to say after that question.

You turned to thank the lady before leaving with Chishiya without a word.

Upon arriving back at the park's entrance Chishiya decided to finally break the silence. "Well? Where are you dragging me off to next?" He asked, raising a brow at you. You had almost completely forgotten the reason why you had went out in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Slipping your hand into your slingbag, you pulled out a small crumpled paper and unfolded it.Chishiya tried to lean in and read but you pulled the paper closer to you. "Hey! Don't peek on the surprise." You pouted, forgetting all about the question for a moment.

He put his hand up defensively but it was no more than a sarcastic tease. "No peeking." He repeats before shoving his hands into his pockets once again. Chishiya was almost never seen with his hands outside his pockets outside of his home. It was almoat natural and expected.

Once you were sure he wouldn't peek again, you opened up the piece of paper before folding it once more.

"I got an idea."

"You looked at the paper which most likely had the idea.

"I have an idea." You repeated, dismissing his smart assness. "Follow me!" And once again, you boldly took a hold of his wrist and started to dash to whatever place you were dragging him to next.

-

The warm light of the welcome sign greeted the both of you as you stood outside a relatively new, and decently small café. And sketchy enough, the stores it was between in was a shady dentist's office and a run-down, forever closed drug store.

"This is the new coffee shop that opened last week." Chishiya noticed, looking up at the hangout's name to remember it. "It certainly has a sketchy location."

"That's cause this was the only place the owner could afford. In fact, they're actually quite creeped out by the stores beside it. I feel bad." You explained briefly, glancing at the side shops. "But that's not what we're here for, dear friend."

You pushed him inside the cafe and it was definitely much better on the inside than the out. It had relatively creamy walls and warm lights. You were surprised that the place wasn't filled with people. Tempting enough to keep this place as a secret, all to yourself.

"Sit the hell down." You brought Chishiya to a corner seat - which is, in a natural rule, one of the best seats a restaurant or any place could ask for - and sitting in front of him.

"It isn't a bad place, I'll give it that." Your bleach haired friend admitted, his eyes still roaming around. "What gave you the idea?"

A giggle escaped your lips, "I wanted to try it out. I actually visited the place a few days ago. It was completely different than now. They changed it a lot." You shrugged, "And I thought of you when I stepped in here. I thought you'd like the place."

Chishiya smiled lightly, which was again; rare. "It's good."

"Better than-"

"I haven't decided yet." He cut you off before you could finish which resulted in you giving him a cheeky smirk.

He couldn't help but feel good about himself when you admitted that you thought of him when you found this place. It felt truly honorable than his straight A's and cards with that big ol' red 'Accepted' on it. It was something near to a foreign feeling.

"About what that vendor said-" You were immediately cut off by a waiter coming up, asking for your orders. You coughed into your arm at the sudden surprise and ordered your preferred drink.

Chishiya glanced at you and the waiter, what was with the question? He quickly ordered his own drink as you thanked the waiter before they left.

Another set of an awkward silence filled between the both of you. He was curious about your earlier question but didn't want to push you, you looked embarassed enough after choking on your own spit.

"Don't think about it. She just made a mistake, it's fine." Chishiya wanted to say something else but decided to take matters into his own hands instead. "It's not that uncommon. Sometimes expected."

You nodded at his words. "Right.. I forgot, they have board games here! You wanna play?" You beamed up, changing the subject. He glanced his eyes to the side, finding the board games that you were talking about.

All of them were stacked on a small bookshelf that had a good amount of books on it as well.

"Sure, we'll play." He shrugged without a care. "Why don't you choose the game, Y/N?"

You hummed out a yes and took your time; reading all the board game labels. There were many of them but you wanted to try out something bold, something Chishiya would actuallu want to play with you. "Ah! Chess."

Why Chess? You finally processed your declaration.

"Oh, Chess?" Chishiya looked back at you. What a bold declaration of war. "Sure, why not."

You felt yourself gulp and begin to pray for your mistakes and for your well being, choosing a game like this against a guy like Chishiya. You've already made a decision and stood up and made your walk of shame towards the small chess board.

Bringing the board to your table, you gathered yourself the confidence and smacked the board down.

"Bring it on, Shuntaro." A smirk appeared on your face, a bold glimmer in your eyes.

-

"I think I'm gonna be sick." You burp out, watching your side of the chess board with bored and tired eyes. You've already accepted your death wish an hour ago.

Now you were here with two empty cups, 3 hours that passed by and found yourself with only a King and a Pawn against Chishiya's fucking army. You've paid for your drinks an hour ago and you were still here, suffering.

"You chose the game." He defended. He looked unchanged - just the same guy three hours ago. Meanwhile you sat in front of him, a hand in your hair and tired eyes.

You weren't sleepy, you were just tired of watching your entire empire fall.

"You're enjoying this, I know it. Behind those blank eyes of yours? You're enjoying this." An almost pathetically dramatic voice of sulking came from you as you connected your forehead onto the table.

You could feel him shrug in front of you.

"But alas!" You rose dramatically, "That was my plan all along!" You moved your king to the line of sight of his queen, making yourself lose. "I forfeit. Besides, we're gonna miss the best part of today!"

Chishiya watched as you obliterated yourself and throwing the chess pieces off the board and clean up. "Fun game." He responded to your actions.

"It was not at all fair." You pushed and closed the board up when you finished counting off the chess pieces and went off to put it back in respect. "You're far smarter than me and you know it."

"You chose th-"

"Yeah, Yeah. 'I chose the game' and whatnot, I get it." You echoed him in an immature tone of voice, but you'd never deny his intelligence. He technically carried you through physics and math.

He stood up and walked out beside you, hearing the same waiter who served you both give their thanks.

"The last stop shouldn't be too far from here." You were looking at that old crumpled piece of paper you had a while ago.

After just a few minutes, maybe 10, of walking, you found both yourselves in front of a popular convenience store joint that you and Chishiya always went to for a quick lunch or snack break when you were both in highschool.

You lead him to a black bench right across the small store and placed your things down, taking your wallet out your bag.

"Stay here." You smiled before running into the building.

Chishiya stared at the all too familiar black bench. No, he didn't sit, the black bench gave him an overflow of memories when you both hung out here. You and Chishiya would buy anything you both wanted and were able to buy from the store and sit out here, exchanging notes and occasionally jokes. He smiled at the thought.

"I told you to sit!" You pointed at him accusingly as you held a brown paper bag in your other arm. The sounds of the bells on the doors clinged together when you exited the building.

"I was." Chishiya turned his way to you.

"After almost 10 minutes of me being in there? Come on." You chuckled and decided to sit down on the black bench yourself. He followed right after you. "Check out what I got!"

You ruffled your hand into the paper bag with joy, tongue sticking out and biting softly on the muscle. "Boom!" You cheered when you took it out.

It was a small almost medium, cute pink cake - which was his favorite whipped strawberry flavor - with Chishiya's favorite cookies decorated on the outer curve.

You handed it to chishiya with the same dorky smile you had when you were feeding the ducks at the park. He observed the writing on the cake with narrow eyes.

'Hapi'

'You de'

'Congratatulations!!!'

Despite the spelling error, and the very messy writing, you still smiled like an idiot and Chishiya couldn't help but appreciate the fucked up cake. He actually showed you his smile that time.

Can you believe it? Making Chishiya smile 3 maybe even 4 times today?

It made yourself smile even wider that you had to put your chin on your hands.

"You spelled 'Congra-"

"I'm aware of my mistake Chishiya but there's clearly no more room for anymore mistakes on that cake." You pointed at the cake which really did have no more room for anymore icing.

He exhaled with a smile, his way of laughing or chuckling at you genuinely at best, before opening the plastic lid.

"Oh and, if you want anymore of your bland ass cookies, there's more in the bag. Can't understand why you like that crap." You jokingly gave him a cringed look and stuck your tongue out in disgusted exaggeration. But, you got it for him.

"Fork?" Chishiya asked, looking back up at you.

"Oh shit, yeah I forgot." You opened up your sling and pulled out two plastic forks. "I figured that there wasn't going to be any free forks in the store so I decided to bring some."

Handing him one, you were more than ready to eat the cake with him.

As both of you dipped in for the first bite, you both heard the sounds of popping in the sky which caught Chishiya off his guard.

Fireworks were in the sky. All different colors, blending in so well in the night sky.

"Would you look at that." You said in awe through the cake in your mouth. "I wonder who put that there."

"You did something, didn't you?" Chishiya looked at you, unamused but still appreciative. You could tell it through the way how soft his eyes looked. It was much softer and quite happier than usual, and you were proud.

"I may have asked some friends." You shrugged, meeting his gaze.

Both of you had not only the warm light emitting from the convenience store, but the different colors of the fireworks that temporarily glowed on both of your faces.

You thought he looked so pretty in all of the colored sparks of light. You could get used to his eyes if it were like this.

"I'm really happy and proud of you, Chish." You said all full of truth, hitting his shoulder playfully. "You need to hear it sometimes, no?"

"I guess." Chishiya answered with a shrug again, lifting another fork full of cake near his mouth. "Thanks, I think."

You chuckled, finally hearing those words come out of his mouth felt so satisfying to you. You were even sure he never really said it all to anyone. The sparks in the sky continued to flash in the sky all so beautifully. "Don't mention it."

Maybe he could get used to this, having someone like you. It made him feel all warm and proud for once.

#aib #alice in borderland #alice in borderland x reader #chishiya x reader #x reader #chishiya shuntaro #aib x reader #chishiya shuntaro x reader #box writes #chishiya

[virtualcarrot]

[KKIR] All it takes is one stumble

(Posted on AO3)

-

By the time Iruka's putting the finishing touches to the training ground, the sun's hanging low in the sky.

Some of his hair's come loose over the day's work, sweat-slick threads of it striking unevenly along his hairline. He wipes his brows with the back of his hand and--oh great, from the gritty feel of it, guess now he has dirt on his face. He huffs in tired amusement and looks over.

The spread of land around him looks as untouched as ever, with only his leftover supplies to give his presence away, along with the pale vest he cast off when he started heating up from the exertion. Once everything's picked up, it'll be like he was never here.

His spine protests with a crack when he draws himself up, the old scar tugging unpleasantly with the motion. He frames his lower back right under the hem of his mesh armor, pulls his shoulders wide open and arches in a stretch.

The relief is such that he groans with it.

"Ah!" A yelp sounds from over the treeline, followed by a thud.

A couple of startled pigeons take flight.

Iruka sighs. He was so very clear, when booking the training ground, to claim it as off limits while he makes use of it. Honestly, it's a wonder anyone even bothers with the schedules.

When he makes his way over, the great Hatake Kakashi, retired Rokudaime, looks up sheepishly at him from a sprawl in the bottom of the pit.

"Yo."

"I--How?!"

"Hazards of the road of life."

"Right."

"There are sirens on it. You know. Creatures of the sea. Very distracting ones."

"I'm sure..."

Apparently quite content to sit in the dirt, Kakashi gives no signs of getting up. Moreso, for a man already at ground-level, he looks strangely unsteady. His torso sways from side to side, like it's tempted to slump even further.

Iruka narrows his eyes. "What the hell did you do to be chakra deprived?"

"Aah, kocho-sensei... Let's take it as a lesson. I am but a humble, living reminder to warn your students against hubris."

"You were pushing the limits of your chakra pool, weren't you?"

"Never had time when I was Hokage. Did you know I can now use close to thirteen chidori ?"

"Make it twelve next time so you're still able to walk back."

At the edge of the pit, Iruka finds a protruding root. He ties a piece of rope to it and throws down the other end.

The softly sloped walls shouldn't be hard to climb back.

"Aaah, about that..."

Iruka groans. "You're hurt, aren't you?"

"Sprained my ankle," Kakashi says cheerfully. "Nice trap, by the way."

"You never should've--It's a trap for pre-genin," Iruka grumbles as he makes his way down.

There aren't a great many dignified ways of picking up a grown-ass man, yet Kakashi plain refuses to settle in a fireman's carry. Even on low chakra reserves, he's serious enough about struggling out of the hold that, short of employing actual force, Iruka has to retreat.

Hands on his hips, Iruka glares down at him, aggrieved. "Really, Kakashi? Nobody will care about your bony ass sticking up!"

"Naive of you to think so." Kakashi holds his arms up. "Come on, sensei, I'm sure you give great piggybacks."

"Oh for the love of--!" Iruka grouses. Yet he still crouches and presents his back to Kakashi.

For someone so worried about appearances, Kakashi clearly doesn't mind the ridiculous fumbling that follows. His legs have to grip Iruka's waist like a baby monkey's to leave Iruka's hands free ro grasp the rope, but they eventually figure it out.

Once they're out, Iruka catches Kakashi's thighs behind the knee and proceeds to make his careful way out of the trap field. It's unlike him to show himself in public looking so underdressed, but needs must. He'll come back for his supplies and vest later.

Kakashi shifts like he's inspecting the field before settling back.

"Nice thing you've got going on, here. Tell me about it," he says from on over, bony chin digging in the top of Iruka's head while he speaks.

Iruka frowns distractedly as he counts his steps before walking around what should be a mild exploding ink tag burried under a thin layer of dirt. "You know about it already."

There's something almost hug-like to the squeeze of Kakashi's arms over his shoulders.

"Hm. But you like talking about it."

Now Iruka's just embarrassed. "You should tell me to stop when I'm prattling at you, you know."

Kakashi sinks deeper against his back, the soft cloth of his mask rubbing gently against Iruka's temple that Kakashi has seen fit to touch his lower jaw to.

"...I'm doing the opposite, if you haven't noticed," he says, voice warm and sleepy.

Iruka sighs again, but this time it's fond. The walk back to the center of Konoha is made to the tale of his hopes for the Academy's new lesson plans and the room they give students for experimentation and discovery and specialization. It's been a longtime project of his, in this time of peace, to transform the ninja Academy into a place of learning instead of the soldier-popping machine it used to aspire to be.

Kakashi gives a few encouraging hums at appropriate times, and a few renewed not-quite-hugs-but-close-enough. Very close enough.

Just before they reach the first building of the village, Iruka gives into the urge to nuzzle Kakashi's arm and gently squeezes his thighs in response. Kakashi's breath stutters.

Then, little by little, he melts against Iruka's back with a sigh of contentment.

*

Sakura looks entirely unimpressed at their sight.

''What's he done now?" she asks, stepping aside to let them in.

Kakashi gives her a lazy wave of acknowledgement and droops into a dead weight across Iruka's back. It's too deliberate not to raise some warning bells.

''I fell head over heels,'' Kakashi drawls, the shape of a smirk sounding his words.

And, well... What a circumvoluted way of coming clear.

Iruka drops him unceremoniously on the couch and begins making meal plans for their evening together.

#my scrawl #kakairu #umino iruka #hatake kakashi/umino iruka #hatake kakashi #kkir #naruto

[kairiscorner]

Hello, good day !!

I wanted to ask for hcs for Spider-Noir with a Spider-dude

BUT (I'm sorry if this is too specific)

The Spider-dude doesn't actually got any spider powers or gadgets, they are just a dude that dress like spiderman and helps people on his dimension (and somehow actually gets to defeat villains). The spider-dude does things like helping grandmas carry their groceries, getting cats out of trees, help literally everyone he can and etc. I had this idea that the Spider-dude uses his normal clothes with the spiderman clothes and sometimes he uses pants and shirts, sometimes just shirts, sometimes just pants and sometimes more clothes if it's cold. I also feel that the Spider-dude would love to swing with the web shooters and would ask Noir to swing with him and is like, romantic, because they are hugging and that.

(sorry If there's bad english, not my first idiom)

HI ANON !!! omg dw !! i love this idea omgggg i hope my interpretation of it is right though, i'm sorry if it's wrong 😭😭😭

spider noir x spider dude reader headcanons

a/n: as per anon's request, the reader will use male pronouns!

honestly, at first, he would have wanted you as his sidekick. like if he went to your universe on a mission and was hoping to kick some bad guys' asses, he would've seen you, clad in a... hybrid between civilian clothing and spider man-like attire, and think, "oh, well... guess i had my work cut out for me then."

he'd think you'd be super cool but also iffy about you because he was never told about backup or anything from a spider person from this universe at HQ, so being a private eye and all, he'd interrogate you and ask you who you were.

"i'm spider dude." is all you answer as you look at the gray and black clad peter and he's just letting it settle in, like........ "spider dude?" HE HAS NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE 😭😭😭

"yeah, just your friendly neighborhood, um... spider dude." you say with a shrug and he's just looking you up and down and is chuckling at how casual you are about this.

"y'know i like the cut of your jib, how about you and i be partners in crime? of course, we don't have to tell that old grump back at HQ we'll work together, it'll just be between you and me. what say you?" he asks with a smirk and you're just raising your eyebrow and looking at him, confused.

"uh... what HQ? i'm not looking for a job, sir, i'm, uh, i'm a delivery guy on the weekends. i already have a job, i have to help my parents and that sweet old lady down the street with her groceries."

he chuckles again and he's like, "oh, i get it, trying to be humble about it. that's quite cute, anyway (goes on and on about how he wants you as his sidekick, and you don't understand a lick of what he's saying)

then the only time you admit you aren't your universe's spider person and you're just a guy in a spider man costume looking to help those your spider person can't save is when you're fucking up bad guys.

HE FREAKS OUT WHEN HE FINDS OUT YOU HAVE NO ACTUAL POWERS, and he tries to swoop in and save you, but you actually end up saving him :>>

he would have been so overprotective of you if you told him that at first, but he sees now he has no reason to worry. "y'know, you could've done a little saving for my blood pressure and heart rate during that exhilarating battle if you just told me before or after, not while we're beating up the bad guys. but my offer still stands, will you be my sidekick?" HE'S SO EXCITED AND HOPEFUL FOR YOU TO SAY YES

"i'll agree... if you do that spider person thing and swing me out of here." you said as you showed him your DIY web shooter. he takes you up on that offer and holds you close, and you're clinging on to him as he teaches you how to swing, swinging his own webs alongside you and yelling in the night, "I HAVE AN AWESOME SIDEKICK!"

a/n: I AM SPIDER DUDE OF EARTH 1218 FEAR ME !!

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @sabcandoit @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @fictarian @connors-cumslurper

#spider noir #spider noir x reader #spider noir x you #spider noir x y/n #spider noir fluff #spider noir fanfiction #spidersona #itsv #itsv imagines #itsv x reader #itsv x you #itsv x y/n #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n

[emyluwinter]

So while I am able to do posts on twst another part of the Silver Bullet (aka Mafia au) Author Au - @jackplushie

The working day was coming to an end, the Bartender Yuu was no longer expecting any of the visitors at such a late time. The time of daily cleaning at the end of the working day of the bar. Everything was sickeningly the same. Wash dirty floors, wiping the remaining dust and traces from the floor and trying to wipe off the stains left from drinks, crumbs from food that were left behind by not the most pleasant visitors. To clean the surface of the tables so that customers would not be disgusted to sit at an old antique that once had the name table. Turn over the chairs and put them on the tables so that the floor dries and it is easier to wash each area. Check the cash register and calculate the revenue, what you need to buy from groceries or booze. What can be allocated to improve the bar itself. Wipe the dishes until they shine and put them on the shelves in their places. Take out the garbage bags, and try to write a couple of reports for Crowley. Their patron, which gives them the opportunity sometimes, or rather extremely rarely, which can be called a miracle, to update the decor and interior of the bar. The bartender has already begun to think bitterly whether it is worth saving something from the proceeds to improve. In any case, it didn't hurt to seal a couple of holes. Although newspapers faded from time and a little scotch tape covered the holes in the walls, which caused the wind to walk in the room, as if in an open clearing. Still, wanted to have a more decent appearance. It even became somehow awkward in front of the bar patrons… A peaceful, peaceful end to another day, what could be more beautiful for this late evening. No violent guests, no showdowns. Even rude people among the visitors could still be tolerated. Taking a deep breath and exhaling with relief, Yuu lowered the rolled-up sleeves of their work shirt and straightened the old worn apron for the bartender. That evening, the homeless cat Grimm decided to take a walk and it was even getting a little lonely. When the little furry marauder left, Yuu always left a small door (specially made for the Grimm) through the back door so that the cat could come in and sleep in his VIP place. A box with a pillow and a towel that he liked so much. And eat some treats from a humble bartender. Still, Grimm was a "free" cat, although he often came to the bar to take a nap. And to be the most brazen disgusting big cat ass that Yuu has ever seen among all cats. It was impossible to count how many times this impudent man broke glasses, it was worth distracting for a couple of seconds and leaving the drink unattended. Well, anyway, Yuu didn't mind at all when Grimm purposely spilled drinks on customers who were too much for the Bartender. Harmful, but a good cat.

Going behind the bar, Yuu decided that it was worth making tea to finish with the report for Crowley for today. There's not much work left, so they should definitely be done by midnight.

The bar was filled with the soft rustle of paper and the sound of a ballpoint pen working hard. A light rain began to drizzle outside the window and thunder was heard somewhere in the distance. It was finally possible to relax… or not?

The silence in the bar was broken by the sound of a bell from the front door for visitors. W A I T

……A bell?!

The ballpoint pen froze on the last line, Yuu swallowed nervously. Because they could have sworn that they had locked the front door…No one comes in at this time. Even the "criminal visitors" have a little conscience so as not to detain the tired Bartender at work. It meant only one thing….it was an uninvited guest, worse than that, they broke down the door … Having plucked up the courage, Yuu cautiously and imperceptibly looked out of their "hiding place" to see what the devil had brought into the bar. Yuu looks puzzled at the open door of the bar. They were definitely locking her up!!A bunch of keys lay right in front of their papers as proof that they had been used quite recently. How inopportunely Crowley's words come to mind in the Bartender's head. "The lock on the front door is old, you should prop up the door with something so that if the lock suddenly jams, no one enters~"

It wasn't Yuu who didn't lock the door, it was the lock that didn't work!? The bartender will definitely do damage and all the curses on this stupid Crowley!!Leave the bar without normal locks on the doors?!What kind of security could there be?!

But it seems that this was not enough….

Was the uninvited guest wearing a long black coat or a mantle? Yuu didn't know much about it. A large hood covered the face of the incoming. They smelled of burning, coal, and something scorched. And there was a familiar metallic smell.. Yuu frowned at this nauseating mixture of smells, but, unfortunately, they are already used to it … to the persistent smell of carnage ….sweat … and what they absolutely do not want to know. Damn it, this man was about two meters tall!If you don't think about it, he could be mistaken for some kind of modern plague doctor or mercenary.

"I'm going to shoot Crowley with a champagne cork…Why didn't I become an office clerk like all normal people? where. WHERE did I make such a mistake?.."

Lowering their gaze to Yuu's shoes immediately, they jumped up from their seat. Even if they were the Devil himself!!

-Excuse me! But we are already closed, if you are going to enter, use the mat!!I just washed the floors!

To die because you yell at your killer for dirty shoes that walk on a clean floor that has just been literally polished. .......Yeaaah, it was Yuu. They worked hard for hours to clean it all up. You can at least try to confuse if they are going to attack.

It seems to have had an effect, and the figure stopped. Yuu just now noticed that… They had a sword in their hands?In the blood?Is he some kind of medieval killer?!

"Why do all the crazies come here like bees to a hive….is there some kind of sign here?!Come here, bring the poor Bartender to gray hair!Special offer drink as a gift!"

-You…….don't know who I am? - a low deep voice broke the silence in the room like a thunderbolt in the middle of a clear sunny day

Once again, after looking at the uninvited guest Yuu from head to toe in disbelief, they looked at the dark figure.

-Well, as I see it, you don't wear a badge.. Do you want to place an order?

The dark figure elegantly removed the hood, and Yuu was finally able to see the face of this definitely dangerous person.Slowly examining the situation, the empty bar is not the best class, but carefully tidied up, making sure that there is no one inside.The guest returned his gaze to the modest Bartender.

If it wasn't for the bloodstains on their pale skin, the Yuu would have thought that some supermodel had looked into their backwater. The guy was definitely handsome, if not for their piercing gaze the color of fresh foliage.And their manner of bearing seems to hold a heavy burden on their shoulders and head. Like royalty.

-Who are you?

Yuu is even more confused about what this guy wants at all.

-Em….The bartender as you can see? So you want to order, sir?

-Order?

"Oh, it's going to be a rough night….have you been punched in the head by a guy?" - Yuu really kept their desire to arm themselves with a mop and drive this strange guy away.

-Tea, coffee?Maybe lemonade?

-Do you really not know who is in front of you?

-I'm sorry, sir, but my working day has come to an end. Either you finish with your "who am I" rebus and come back another time, or please place an order. - Having pulled on his "mask", the bartender decides that if they are not going to be killed, then it's worth just turning on his working mode. Maybe after the drink the guest will leave?

The stranger's shoulders twitched, trembled, and then the dark figure burst into merry laughter. He was definitely having fun.

"Ooooh….the cuckoo in his head went…." - hoping that this is not an escaped dangerous criminal from a psychiatric hospital, Yuu even regretted that they did not escape through the back door at all. To hell with property and money, they would just survive after this meeting.

-That's funny….no one has ever talked to me like that before. - Taking off his coat and finally using the rug, properly cleaning his definitely crazy expensive shoes on an old dusty rug. The uninvited guest hung his coat on an old hanger and put his bloody sword there as well. After making sure that the shoes were clean enough and leaving no traces, the guest headed to the bar with a smug grin as if he had discovered something interesting.

-You. What's your name? - the question from the guest sounded almost demanding.

-Sir, should I read you the menu? My name is written on the badge, if you don't know the language or you forgot your glasses, I will help you.

Who says a bartender can't be sharp-tongued? Within reasonable limits, of course. Usually clients were amused by this. Only some were offended and did not understand the joke. Another rumbling laugh escapes from the guest's mouth.

-Are you funny… Yuu,right?

-Yes, sir. Have you decided on the order?

-I think I would like to try something to your taste. Something dark and strong for someone like me~

-Can I make you a milkshake, sir?We have several flavors.

Yu had to raise his head high to look at the guest's face. Damn it, he was definitely a whopper compared to them! Were you raised by palm trees as a child?!? This pungent smell of blood and burning still unpleasantly tickled Yuu's nose, forcing their poor hungry stomach to twist into a tight knot.

Gracefully propping his head on his hand, the guest looked with interest from head to toe at the modest bartender. It was as if he was trying to get through their skin to the very bones and insides.

-Make your choice~

-Then I'll make you a milkshake with chocolate and mint. Perfectly refreshing. Anything else?

-No. It will be rude to detain you even longer.

Yuu made a memo for themselves to make a sign that stinkers and people who do not know that it was DEFINITELY worth putting yourself in order, if only out of pity for the poor bartender. And they began to prepare the drink.

This man, did not take his eyes off Yuu for a split second. The bartender was ready to swear that their gaze was studying every movement and their breathing under an expensive microscope, as if they had discovered a new toy for entertainment.

Literally every cell screamed to the Bartender that the anger of this strange man was not worth recognizing. And their every movement, thought, word was a step on very, very thin ice. Beneath which a brutal and bloody monster waited and lurked.

It was the hardest and most stressful 40 minutes of the whole week that Yuu could remember…..

-Don't you want to know my name? - suddenly the guest asked, as if waiting for the right moment to grab his long pale powerful hands into the thin throat of the Bartender.

-I'm sorry, sir, but my clipboard for names is full for today. A lot of people come here, even if I had photos with names, I wouldn't be able to remember them all.

-Oh, i see…are you not confused by my appearance?

-Can I offer you an antiseptic napkin, sir? Please don't get anything dirty, I just finished with the cleaning. - In truth, Yuu wanted to pour a whole bucket of bleach on this guy, but it's better to leave this thought somewhere on the crust of consciousness. The guest carefully watched every movement of the Bartender, as if trying to make sure that they were not going to add something "extraneous" to his order After hearing the Bartender's requests. The guest took out a handkerchief and carefully wiped his hands so as not to leave traces.

Finally, Yuu finished with the cocktail and placed it right in front of the guest. And they also put a few napkins and a dessert spoon next to the drink

-Your order, sir.

-Thank you ~

After taking a small sip, the guest froze and stared at the drink in surprise. The bartender thought for a moment that he saw a small child who was given a sweet taste for the first time. And now he is so excited that he has a failure of the entire brain system.

It seems that he definitely liked the drink, to the great relief of the Bartender. In any case, the visitor definitely did not hide his pleasure from each sip. The drink fascinated the night visitor so much that he turned all his attention to the cocktail and Yuu could at least take a little breath and put the papers in the drawer. Acting like a locked door has already entered firmly into their lives. Although it was more likely that Yuu already had an armored door with all the locks, a chair propping up the door handle and a closet pushed up on top so that no one could break it for sure.

What a strange appearance of this dark scary man was, so was his departure. After paying for the drink and leaving a generous tip for "overtime work", the guest took his things and left into the dark night, as if dissolving into it. After the guest left, Yuu was checked that he had definitely left. And then they fiddled a little with the door lock, made sure that it was definitely locked. And trying to calm their paranoia, Yuu pushed a heavy table to the door so that no ONE else would come into the bar. Tired and without any strength, having settled on the floor, Yuu were breathing very hard, as if they did not have enough air. Panic was literally breathing down their necks and squeezing their ribs into a tight ball.

-They told me not to deal with bad people…..but why didn't anyone warn me that they would come to me themselves…..Haaah…..I'm going to take a bath full of valerian today…well, why didn't I go to the office to work….why….

They whined softly from the fatigue of Yuu and the silence of the night. The next day the bar didn't open because the Bartender felt so bad and exhausted that they almost fell down the stairs when they wanted to go to work. Three old men - their neighbors living in the same house, convinced them to stay at home and relax. Yuu just wanted all this to finally be just a bad dream..not reality. **** bonus

Malleus - Make me a drink as dark as my soul.

Bartender Yuu - Do you want a latte sir?

Lillia in the background - * wheezing with laughter* ***

Azul angrily - What does it mean the bar is closed?!They have the most excellent coffee to finish the working day after all the deals!!

Jade - there were several witnesses that the Draconia visited this bar late last night…I am also upset with Azul by this fact.

Floyd whistled when he heard the news - Did the bartender survive after this meeting?

-Floyd!! ***

Sebek grabbing the Bartender's collar - You!!Pitiful human!!How dare you treat the great lord so disrespectfully?! OUCH!!!What the hell?!?A CAT?!

Meanwhile, the Grimm but the entire ankle of Sebek until it bled, hissing loudly and clinging to his leg.

-OUCH!!IT HURTS!!!STOP IT!!!GET OFF ME, YOU CRAZY CAT!!

Bartender Yuu clearing his throat and looking at how Sebek absurdly tries to unhook the Grimm, "I adore this cat with all my heart!!"

#twsited wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst mc #twst yuu #twisted wonderland x reader #twst mafia au #malleus draconia #mafia au #silver bullet #twst azul #twst floyd #twst jade #twst sebek #twst grimm

[loriahlikeswriting]

Hi! I recently started writing fanfic again. With Hazbin Hotel finally getting a season I was really inspired to dabble into writing something pertaining to Angel Dust, and so I really got hooked on the idea of a human alternate universe taking place in modern times following not only Angel’s struggles but Alastor’s as well! It’s really just a character analysis and me trying to write different characters (one being kinda loony) but regardless I put a lot of effort into each chapter and would love to get feedback! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

I’ve also drawn some pictures of all the characters here and will post some art I have made pertaining to this fic.

I’ll attach a link to ao3 story after the summary and snippet of the first chapter <3 thank you so much for taking your time to read this post and I hope you enjoy!

Am I Making You Feel Sick?

TW: abuse and violence, disordered eating, death, abuse of a minor, SA

Summary:

Anthony Di'Angelo wasn't always like this, he had dreams like any other kid. Yet here he was at the ripe age of twenty, a crack whore with a shitty ass pimp and an even shittier means of living. As far as anyone was concerned this life would consume him and leave him to rot on the streets like many of those before him. His decline is ever apparent, especially to his next door neighbor who just happens to be a novelist from New Orleans who after many successes has begun to lose his spark. A wannabe lyricist who is damned to live life as a whore stuck in poverty and a twisted writer aren't quite a match made in Heaven but maybe the heavens weren't meant for them anyway.

Chapter 1 Snippet 🫶

Anthony’s life wasn’t really one worth living if he was being honest. He had a lousy apartment, lousy job, lousy friends, lousy attitude- he himself was simply lousy. Recognizing just how miserable he was did little to change anything, though, so he kept going with some weird faith that things may somehow, some way get better. Between being disowned by his family only to be taken in by a pimp disguised as a lover he wasn’t sure what else could possibly go astray.

He’d lost another ten pounds, which meant another size or two down, and another shopping spree which would soon enough result in spending funds he really didn't have right now. Maybe he shoulda picked up sewing like Molly- that perfect little angel- just so he wouldn’t have to waste time getting shit retailored. Staring at what became of himself in the mirror was fucking trippy. What stared back at him were large muted blue eyes smudged by smeared eyeliner and mascara, sunken in freckled cheeks, pale skin which was once sunkissed now tainted by bruises, a thin frame no longer toned and instead starved. Mobster to crack whore- what kinda transformation was that? A laughable one. Damn, if only Pa could see him now. Naw, Anthony didn’t wanna imagine it if he was being real honest.

Pulling off the slightly loose sticky latex one piece, the blonde reached over into his dresser for a tattered old tee he managed to convince Val to let him keep. He had to let Valentino know if he could wipe his ass for fuck's sake, God forbid he had a shirt the man didn't fuck with. Sliding on the shirt and some boxers which loosely fit his frame, Anthony quickly flung himself into bed. His mattress was stiff and his blankets were thin, but at least he managed to get a place to call his own. Moving out of Valentino’s was such a step forward- no more nightly beatings, no more degrading insults outside of work, no more being used and abused whenever wherever. Sure, he dealt with allat on the clock but the minute his shift ended he had somewhere to return to that was his own. He hadn’t had something to call his own in a long fucking time.

Staring up at his ceiling, Anthony couldn’t help but toss and turn, his head pounding and begging for attention. The boy was a mouthy one, and mouthy ones get put in their place real quick. Today was extra humbling for the blonde, his eye was puffed up and colored purple, a testament to his treatment. It wasn’t just his eye, he’d gotten a full body beat down today, but that meant he could stay out of work for a day or two til they gradually lost their color. Two days of lazing about? Fuck yes. He could really use the break.

Huffing, the thin blonde shoved his blanket aside as he stumbled onto his feet. Grabbing his lighter and a pack he kept ready at his night stand, Anthony made his way to his small balcony. The crisp air burned the blonde’s nostrils, a sensation he'd learned to adore as time went on. Shivering, he made his way over to the iron rails. He was hardly dressed, but that was something he was used to. Shutting his eyes, the blonde let himself feel the night’s frigidity, wanting to succumb to the numbness which would eventually overtake his limbs.

Lighting his cig, the boy scanned the night sky for some type of reassurance when the cold hadn’t done its job. Disappointed, the blonde knew the stars couldn’t give him any answers no matter how much he bothered them. So he pressed his lit cigarette to his lips, breathing in a burn which would warm his rotting core. The first huff wasn’t satisfying, nor was the second. Anthony was used to more nasty shit, nic did little to ease his mind. Well, it did help with the headaches, but the dancer was itching for something stronger tonight. Flashes of his last client wormed its way into his skull and Anthony could feel his shoulders tighten in anger and resentment. Clenching his jaw, the blonde rubbed at his eyes aggressively wincing in pain once he was reminded of the bruise that bitch left behind. That motherfucker was extra sleazy on the floor and in private, and he was a recurring patron. Lucky him, huh?

Frustrated, the man put forth all his weight onto the railing, letting his forehead rest against the cold metal, hoping some contact would relieve the pressure. Rubbing his forehead against the bar, Anthony felt his eyes burn familiarly. A pain settled in his throat, an achy pain that continued to increase in strength. His face burned in shame as he felt himself begin to sniffle. Ah God, he hated these types of nights. Everything was just too fucking much and he was just so tired and in so much pain. Whiny bitch he was, but at least he was a whiny bitch by his lonesome.

“God, I can't do this shit sober.” The blonde huffed, as he finished up his cigarette. Putting out the cigarette onto a used up ashtray, Anthony pushed himself off the railing. He just got through his last bottle of booze and he was aching for more. What? Cheap shit was all he could afford when he was away from Val. Matter of fact, Tony came to crave that shit simply because it signified he wasn't anywhere near that fucking cunt. He promised himself he wouldn’t spend any more pocket change on shit that was bad for him, but that obviously wasn’t going great. Nothing was ever going great, so drink til he got crunked was what he was gonna do. Slipping on some fuzzy light pink slippers and grabbing a coat, Anthony wrapped himself up real tight. Rummaging through his nightstand did he find his house key, some change, and his ID. Aw fuck, he had to get that shit updated. Staring back at him was his wide eyed seventeen year old self. If only he knew there wasn't anything in life to look that excited for. Smiling slightly at the picture of himself, Anthony shoved all that shit into his right pocket, shaking any longing that started to yank at his heart strings. He'd cry after he got fucked up.

Shutting his door and quickly locking up, the lithe dancer shoved his shaking hands into his pockets. His apartment complex was nice, not necessarily cozy but livable. Making his way down the stairs Anthony lost himself in thought. Nights like this he reminisced on back to when he didn’t rely on substances to feel warm, before he was labeled a deadman by his father, before his mother died. He thought back to sibling banter, Sundays post church, elementary school playgrounds. The blonde could feel himself getting choked up again, but he couldn’t stop himself from spiraling. If the man was being honest, dysthymia was such a comfort. Being sad was all Anthony knew how to do properly, and that in itself reassured him. The tightness of muscles when he was on the brink of a meltdown felt akin to the ghost of a hug, something the man was desperate for. Funny thing was, he got hugs all the time- none of them were fucking genuine though.

Making his way down the staircase, the boy felt a bit of his mind dwindle with every step. His mind was going numb, instead he focused on his breathing and the way his bones felt like they were being suffocated under his skin. He focused on the way his hips ached, and his eye burned, barely able to keep itself open because of how swollen it'd grown to be. He could feel every spot that man touched him, like his finger tips were pressed so deeply into his skin they left a mark not just on skin, nor fat, nor muscle, but on his fucking nerves. He could see the way the man looked at him in a disgusting lustful haze, and how he had to pretend he liked every second of getting his ass handed to him. He saw himself, and he saw himself drowning deeper into the pit he had created for himself the second he got disowned. He could feel just how much it hurt to breathe, so Anthony forced himself to gasp heavily like a fish out of water. The sting was nice, he wished that was all he could feel for forever. His body on autopilot, the dancer was met with a light which dimly lit up the corner store before he knew it. Cheap liquor? Not his favorite, but it did the trick. It made his brain fill with static. And static was all he wanted to hear and see for the rest of his shitty life.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #angel dust #niffty #charlie magne #fanfic #fanart #human au #modern au

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Notice Me Tsunade Senpai #2

When Tsunade, one of the three sannin, agreed to succeed the old man as the Fifth Hokage, there were celebrations throughout the village as women cheered the first female Hokage. She proved that women are strong, intelligent, and capable of being ninja as powerful as any man.. even more so.

You had your eye on Lady Tsunade early on. She was a gambler and crass, unladilike by traditional descriptions, but to you...

"Tsunade," you ran up as soon as the window to do so opened. "You have no idea how much you becoming the hokage has meant to me and to other women and girls in this village. You are an inspiration and I am honored to work with you!"

Her warm and confident smile lit you from inside. You felt like you could do anything.

Even now, as you stand in her office watching her haggard expression, you have the same feeling. She's been a god-send working tirelessly... even kicking her gambling habit. She's a strong, intelligent, and capable hokage! The thought fills you with immense pride.

"I need you to do me a huge favor," she says suddenly, exhaustion in her voice. "It's a big one, and I shouldn't ask you this-"

"Anything." You mean this 100%.

She hesitates, her strong, independent nature blocking her from a vulnerable moment. It's humbling to behold.

"If you insist... Woman to woman, would you mind... checking the back of my kimono to ensure I haven't bled through."

"Oh!" You were expecting something actually difficult. "Sure."

She stands tiredly and turns her back to you. There's nothing there but her perky ass. It's so close that you could reach out and touch... If you were a pervert who didn't value her career and her life.

"You're clear," you chirp, your hands behind your back.

"Oh good," she sighs. "I couldn't handle another thing! Team 7 is running amuck and causing damages that I have to fix. The Akatsuki is on the radar and we don't know what they're planning. On top of that, my breasts have been so tender!"

You gulp as you steal a glance of her giant braless melons, then your eyes remain above her neck.

"Do your breasts get really tender," she asks, grabbing and holding her boobs.

You try not to look.

"I hate it when that happens, but I find that rubbing them makes them feel a lot better."

Immediately, she begins rubbing her boobs over top of the kimono, and you can't help but look as she massages in a circular motion.

"Lady Tsunade-"

"The worst part is how sensitive my nipples get."

You feel yourself clench deep within as she lightly pinches her nipples through her kimono.

"They start to ache. Sometimes, they get really hard for no reason. I have to ask them, 'What is it girls? What do you see?'"

You chuckle politely, though you're slightly aroused, your own nipples hardening.

"Well, thanks. It's good to talk to a woman every once and a while," she collapses back into her seat. "That's all I have for you now. You're free."

You leave, but stop in the bathroom before you make it from the headquarters. You're hornier than you thought you were. Just that little tease has you rubbing yourself in the women's stall.

@dashhoney25 @lettidarawest @soufcakmistress @ljstraightnochaser @princessstevens-blog @eye-raq @thiccdaddy-mbaku @destinio1 @iamrheaspeaks @hidden-treasures21 @bidibidibombaclaat @forbeautyandlife @blowmymbackout @misspooh @thotyana-in-this-hoe @purplehairgawdess @thegucciwaffle @goddessofthundathighs @theegoldenchild @thadelightfulone @sultanabby @mysticalblackhottie @baekhyunbabybunni @fd-writes @richonne4life @tgigoldie @thehomierobbstark @capswife @blackpinup22 @harleycativy @lishabaybee @playgurlxoxo

#original #tsunade x reader #tsunade fanfiction #tsunade #lady tsunade #naruto #naruto shippuden fanfiction #naruto fanfiction #naruto fics #tsunade drabble #black reader #black writers #black fanfic writer #black fanfiction

[allycat75]

Let me ask you, Boston Dumb Fuck, does your ass hurt from straddling the fence for so long?

(Speaking of which, saddle up, this is a long one)

So, is this some Gemini Mercurial thing? Help me out here:

You go after David Duke, but have no problem with, at the very least, appearing to fuck a racist Nazi

You will go to a BLM march, but have no problem with, at the very least, appearing to fuck a racist Nazi

You claim to be a feminist, and love love, but treat her like shit whenever you are forced to be around her (we know because you are only around her when there are required pictures to be taken, nothing organic)

You claim to be a feminist, but for V-day, to celebrate your love, you dump the most ridiculous set of about 25 pictures (photshopped or not), making you look like a creepy uncle and her like a scheming Lolita, and absolutely no chemistry

You claim to be a feminist, but for V-day you release a snuff film disguised as a dumb face puppet video, where you are holding down your beloved with your hand firmly across her nose, as you laugh maniacally in the background, while you proceed to shove a camera down her throat. And do you have a buddy with you? Weird, but it is interesting you never seem to be alone with her.

You claim to be a feminist, but you post a video where you proudly declare taking away your sweetheart's agency because she didn't want you to post it, but you thought it was "cute" so you did it anyway. And by the way, it was much more humiliating for you- so she didn't know how to play Mario Kart. It's Mario Kart, you 42 year old man-child. Not like you were watching Jeopardy!

Side note- don't dare post ANYTHING for Valentine's Day this year, since this charade seems never-ending. You proved your point last year and it is a capitalist construct, anyway. I can only imagine how bad you will look in them this year considering your almost depleted soul. You may not be able to run out of the car fast enough this time after kissing her chin when the person in the passenger window yells "cut".

You love tradition and cherish all that bullshit, but are willing to make them meaningless for this stunt. Yeah, I can see how special pumpkin carving, apple picking and dressing up for Halloween are to you!

You want someone who is humble and hate arrogance, but you are with someone who thinks she is such a good actress she didn't need to go to school for it because she has natural talent. Spoiler alert- she really, really doesn't! I am sure the acting teachers in your family are thrilled with that one.

You value your family, but are willing to use your precious time with them to show off your new plaything and force some of them to follow her on SM, including your underage nephew, only to have her "leak" her tantrum shower porn video to her followers (also wasn't there something about wanting someone who was mature? I don't know, you have said so much nonsense, it is hard to tell what is real or fake, right?)

You declare yourself to be an alone guy and your dog is your soulmate, but then you kinda sorta have two ceremonies with your Portuguese wifey, flaunting that cheap piece of metal strangling your left ring finger. I am surprised it hasn't turned it green, but maybe you don't have it on long enough for it to do any harm. Also, here's a hint, even though pictures with her and Dodger were most likely altered, he don't like her at all! But at least you get to call someone your "wife"; I remember you talking about how special you thought that was, too.

You don't like liars and you don't like manipulation. But what you selfishly mean is that you don't like being lied to and you don't like being manipulated, because you have had a hell of a time perpetuating those acts on the general public and your fans, now mostly former fans. You know, the ones who saved you from the dick pic embarrassment. The ones you said meant so much to you. You may find out how much they mean to you when another of your movies tanks and have a hard time finding more work. (Another side note- what the fuck was that "Guard the Pussy" meme thing all about that was on the same photo roll as the dick pic? Is it that you are here to guard the pussy or is more of a warning that you are here, so ladies, guard your pussy? Well, nevermind, maybe you were always gross).

You suffer from anxiety, but you have no problem being a crazy maker, or paying people to make people crazy on your behalf. He attended the party. No he didn't. The wifey was there. No she wasn't. She stands just below his shoulder. No wait, they are cheek to cheek with no shoe height difference. Where is his arm? That picture is old. That's not his tattoo. How can he look so different in just three days? She supports him at his premiere. Then why does he (and his co-star and director) look pissed. She is only mentioned in online articles, not print. They started dating during the pandemic (when she was 23). No, she was dating someone else at the time. He said he was married. He bought her an expensive Cartier ring. No, that was borrowed, she wears the ring she tried to fool everyone with on the first pap walk. Oh wait, she only wears it when people are looking. He got married in Concord. No, Cape Cod. No, LA, No, Upstate NY. There was an NDA at the ceremony, but select people are allowed to talk to Condé Naste publications (online, of course). But it doesn't matter unless the reps also confirm because apparently his whole life isn't under his control. But because he is doing such a bad job means he is telegraphing this is fake. But a lie, even one told badly, is still a lie- it's just an added layer of mindfuckery. And why did he do this? Was he promised a role? Was he coerced? Blackmailed? Tricked? Was it hubris? Is he in danger? Broke?

So you don't do any permanent damage on that fence, BDF, you may want to pick a side, because currently you are a fucking hypocritical, almost soulless, misogynistic piece of shit! Get some serious help because you have really poor decision making and coping skills to crash and burn your life so magnificently in such a short amount of time! That part is on you, no matter who forced you to sign whatever you signed. Do better as you try to rebuild! Please!

Have a nice day! 👋

PS- there is so much more I could have included; how you are happier than you have ever been, but look sicker than some dying people, don't even recognize you in your life and use weed to disappear further; the whole egoic narrative and how it led you astray from anything real and true; and don't get me started on your unchecked, entitled, white male privlege. But unlike you, I value the things in my life outside this curated SM world- a great job I put effort into everyday because people need and appreciate the effort and that allows me to put a roof over my head and get the bills paid every month (a luxury I know many don't have), great friends who tell me when I am being an asshole as well as when I am being awesome and a family I would never take for granted and use for cheap and insincere gestures. I would much rather spend time in the real world. It is a marvelous place when you don't put your fate in someone else's hands. I hope you get the opportunity to try it soon.

#ai in human form #brian wilson vibes #i don't like hypocrites #i hate manipulation #you are the company you keep #do better #coward #liars suck! #get some help #Saying you look like a clown would be an insult to clowns #Straddling the fence can't be good for your nads if you do want kids #is your mom still proud?