#I also think they're all asexual but let's save this for another time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doughbrainer · 6 months

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*Wipes Sweat Off My Brow.* Well... They're Finally Done! I Don't Want To Stal, So LETS GET TO IT!

NATURE FAM DESIGNS!

Not Including Father Time, Because He's An Oc, Sorry. ;-; I'll Save Mother Nature For The End, Because She's Kind Of Complicated.

Also, I'll Split The Post Because I Don't Want This Post Taking Up People's Feed.

Keep Reading The NATURE FAM'S DESIGNS And HEADCANONS!

Starting With The ELDEST CHILD!

EARTHQUAKE - He/Him

762 cm - 25 ft (Voice Claim: Joe Garderner - Soul)

Earthquake Is The Oldest Child Of All Of The Nature Children, And Has No Biological Father. This Is Because He Was Born Through A Special Form Of Asexual Reproduction That All Gods Possess. Of Course, He Is The God Of Earthquakes, And In A Way, Represents Earthquakes As A Whole.

Earthquake Doesn't Get Very Angry Very Often, But When He Is, He Blows Up At People Around Him. When He Has His Moments Of Anger, He Is Very Apologetic. He Isn't Particularly Bossy But Is Very Stubborn. When He's Stressed, He Gets Stomach Pains, Which Sometimes Causes Earthquakes.

He's Married To Arsa, Who As Of Current, Isn't Seen A Lot By Others. Most Of The Nature Know About Her, And Have At Least Her Once At Earthquake's And Arsa's Wedding. Because Of Earthquake's Chosen Location Under The Earth For His Home, He And Arsa Aren't Seen Much All Year Round.

Because The Temperature Of His Home Changes So Frequently, He Often Chosen Not To Wear A Shirt As It's Easier Then Slipping In And Out Of It Throughout The Day.

According To Those That Have Met Him Only A Few Times, He's Hard Headed But Means Well.

NORTH WIND - He/Him

518 cm - 17 ft

North Wind Is The Second Child, And Older Twin To South Wind, And Is One Of The Biological Sons To Father Time. He's The God Of Tornadoes And Wind, And Controls The Wind In The North Sections Of The World, Sharing Partial Duties Of His Section With East And West.

Growing Up, He Was Shy And A Major Cry Baby, But As He Got Older, Circumstances Made Him Act More Like A Spoilt Child. He Often Tries To Make Himself The Center Of Attention, Which Often Doesn't Work. His Behaviour Only Changed After He Had A Period Of Time Away From His Family, But While He Still Has His Foul Attitude On The Outside, On The Inside, He's Still The Lonely Child He Was When He Was Younger.

When His Plans To Overtake Santa Claus Failed, And Was Therefore Grounded From His Responsibilities By His Mother, He Had A Lot Of Time To Think About Himself. His Mistakes And How His Actions Affected People. Yes, It Took A Few Hundred Years To Make Him Realise, But Eventually, He Decided It Was Time That He Pulled Himself Together. He Apologised To His Family, Especially His Brother's Snow Miser And Heat Miser, And To Anyone Else That He Felt Like He Was Rude Or Hurtful To. Although Not Everyone Accepted His Apology, He Knew This Was The Right Thing To Do.

He's Transgender, But Other Than His Family, Not Many People Know This.

People Usually Describe Him As A Brat, But He's Slowly Beginning To Grow On People In A Good Way.

SOUTH WIND - She/Her

318 cm - 10 ft (Voice Claim: Charlotte - Princess And The Frog)

South Wind Is The Third Oldest Child, And The Younger Twin To North Wind. She Is Also Another Child Of Father Time. She's A Goddess Of Dust Storms And Wind, Controlling Wind In The South Part Of The World, Sharing Partial Duties With East And West.

Compared To Her Twin Brother, She Was Much More Outgoing In Comparison, But Still Often Kept To Herself. She Will Lend A Helping Hand To Anyone If She's Asked, But As She's Gotten Older, She Usually Doesn't Tend To Reach Out That Often. Sometimes She Is A Troublemaker Though, Causing Inconvenience To Others At Random.

When It Comes To Her Love Life, She's A Hopeless Romantic, But Hasn't Actually Been In A Proper Relationship Yet. Not Because She Can't Get With Anything, But Primarily Because She Thinks There's More Important Things To Worry About. Sometimes She Uses Her Human Disguise And Goes Down To Where The Humans Are, Partaking In Common Things They Do, So She Tends To Have A Lot Of Stuff Made By And For Humans In Her House That She Also Uses.

She's Often Described As Fun To Be Around, And Life Of The Party.

LIGHTNING - She/Her

610 cm - 20 ft (Voice Claim: Poison Ivy - Harley Quinn Show)

Lightning Is The Fourth Oldest Child In The Line Up, And Just Like Earthquake, Also Doesn't Have A Biological Father The Exact Same Reasons. She Is Of Course A Goddess Of Lightning, And In A Way Represents It, But She Also A Goddess Of Midwifery And Childbirth. She Actually Went To A Human College And University To Learn All About The Topic Of The Secondary Duties.

She's Good To When It Comes To Reading The Room, Knowing When It's Time To Be Serious And When It's Alright To Have Fun. That's Why She's The Most Respected Of All Her Siblings. She Doesn't Have Any Bad Relationships With Anyone In Her Family Or Any Other Gods For A Matter Of A Fact.

She Has Two "Forms", The Other Where Body Glows And Lines Form Across Her Body Often Happens When She Is Using Her Powers, But It Only Happens When She's Doing Certain Stuff.

People Praise Her A Lot For What She Does, But In Reality, She's Not That Great With Handling Compliments Of Any Kind.

THUNDER - He/Him

256 cm - 8"5 ft (Voice Claim: Din - The Wish Dragon)

Thunder Is Fifth Oldest Child. He Too Has No Biological Father Like His Older Sister, Lightning, And His Older Brother, Earthquake. He Is A God Of Thunder, And Somewhat Represents It At The Same Time. He Also Is A God Of Fatigue.

He Usually Is "Sleeping On The Job" But When He Is Up And About, He Tends To Get On People's Nerve. He's Not Evil In The Slightest, Just Annoying, And Does Things Often For His Own Entertainment. Once He Sent A Cloud Soldier To Slay Newt, The God Of Neutral Colours, Just To See If Anything Would Happen. When His Angry Or Upset, This Can Sometimes Lead To Random Thunder Storms.

He Doesn't Try Too Hard To Make Himself Look Nice, Usually Wearing A Dressing Gown Robe And Shorts. He's More For Comfort Than Looks.

He's Considered The Laziest God Around.

HEAT MISER - He/Him

366cm - 12 ft

Heat Miser Is The Middle Child, And Is The Older Twin To Snow Miser. As Well As Another Child Of Father Time. He's The God Of All Things Hot, This Includes Fire, Volcanoes And Lava. Originally, Earthquake Was The God Of Volcanoes And Lava, But He Passed These Responsibilities Off To Heat Miser When Heat Miser Was Old Enough.

Because He's A God Of Heat Related Things, He Has Partial Control Of The Sun, And Even The Sun. Some People Just Consider A Solo God Of The Sun, And Although This Doesn't Bother Him, It Does Undermine His Abilities A Tad Bit. He's Very Quick To Anger, And It Doesn't Take A Lot To Set Him Off. The Few Things That Are Able To Calm Him Down Are Edward, And Occasionally His Minions. His Hair Grows Brighter The More Emotional He Is, Which Tends To Happen A Lot As Heat Miser Is Very Moody.

Although Heat Miser Wouldn't Call Himself Much Of A Romantic, As Of Current, He Is A Lover To The Mortal Man, Edward Light. He's Practically Infatuated With Him, And Would Be Distraught If Anything Ever Happened To Edward. He Tends To Treat His Minions Like Children, Even Though It's Completely Unintentional. He Doesn't Like To Admit It.

He's Basically Hot Headed Nerd With A Gentle Soul.

SNOW MISER - He/Him

427 cm - 14 ft

Snow Miser Is The Fifth Youngest Child In The Nature Family, And Is The Younger Twin To Heat Miser, And A Child Of Father Time. He's A God Of All Things Cold, And Therefore A God Of Snow, Ice, Winter And So On. North Wind Use To Be A God Of Snow And Winter, But When Snow Miser Was Born, Those Responsibilities Were Taken Away From Him And Passed To Snow Miser.

Like His Twin Brother, He Has Some Partial Control Of The Night Time And Also The Moon. Some People Simplify Him To A God Of Just Night, Which Really Annoys Him.

When He Was Younger, He Didn't Care Much For Drama With His Brother, But As He Got Older And Certain Things Became More Prized Between Them, Snow Miser Took It On And Made It His Mission To Be Better Than His Twin Brother In Every Way There Is Possible. He's Had A Few Relationships In The Past, But Overall, He's Generally A Slag Compared To Everyone Else, And Isn't Prudish In The Slightest.

With Him Making Everything Into A Competiton With Heat Miser, It Often Leads Him To Forget To Take Care Of Himself. He Only Seems To Be A Meanie When Heat Miser Is Around, But When Heat Miser Isn't Near Or Snow Miser Is In The Comfort Of His Own Home, He's The Kindest Person Most People Say They Have Ever Met. Although Snow Miser Doesn't Like To Admit It, He Has A Lot Of Love That He Wants Share.

Overall, He Comes Off As A Major Drama Queen, But Really He's A Major Weenie With A Big Heart.

EAST WIND - She/Her

518cm - 17 ft (Voice Claim: Harley Quinn - Birds Of Prey)

East Wind Is The 4th Youngest, And The Older Twin To West Wind, And Is Another Child Of Father Time. She Is A God Of Floods And Wind, Primarily Controlling The Winds In The East Section Of The World, Sharing Partial Duties With North And South.

She Has A Very Bubbly Personality, And Loves Being Around People. Working Best In Environments With Other People. Although She Does Like Alone Time Every Now And Then, And Sometimes Even A Break. She Tries Not To Work Too Hard, Finding Fun In Everything. She Does Her To Be Loving And Sympathetic.

She Love Animals Of All Kind, But Funnily Enough, Is Scared Of Birds. Doing Her Best To Stay As Far Away From Them As She Can. Sometimes, She Goes With Her Sister, South, Down To Where The Humans Are.

She's Kind Of A Dits But Tries To Fit In.

WEST WIND - She/They

152 cm - 5 ft (Voice Claim: Megara - Hercules)

West Wind Is The Third Youngest, And The Younger Twin To East Wind, Again, Another Child Of Father Time. She Is A God Of Wind As Well, Controlling The Winds In The West For The Most Part, But Shares Duties With North And South. Unlike The Other Winds, West Is Not Also A God Of A Natural Disaster, Instead Being A God Of The Seasons Autumn And Spring.

She's Really Laid Back Compared To Their Twin Sister, But Isn't Lazy. Of Course She Does Her Job. She Has An Attitude Of Where She'll Do Whatever She Wants, And She Won't Care What Happens Afterward, Unless Someone Gets Hurt. Growing Up, She Was Teased For Her Height A Lot, And Usually Insults Would Send Her Into A Freak Out, But As She Got Older, She Shrugged Off Mentions Of Her Natural Height. As She Realised It Was Only A Big Deal To Those Who Don't Know Them.

She's Stronger Than They Look, And If She Caught Someone Making Fun Of Her Siblings, She'd Definitely Send A Plate With A Knuckle Sandwich. She Can Control Her Emotions Really Well, But Doesn't Like To Leave Her House Much.

She Just Prefers To Be By Herself Most Of The Time.

HIGH TIDE - He/Him

214 cm - 7 ft (Voice Claim: Demoman - Team Fortress 2)

High Tide Is The Second Youngest Child, And The Older Twin To Low Tide, And A Child Of Father Time. He's A God Of The Tides And The Deep Sea, And Primarily Controls The High Tides.

He's Very Serious About His Work, And Makes Sure Everything He Does Is Perfect. He's Often Shirtless, As He Finds It Easier To Breath Through His Gils Instead Of His Nose Or Mouth. His Hair When He's Above The Water Usually Goes Down Like Regular Hair, But Under Water, It's Rises Up. High And Low Have Squishy Bodies, Somewhat Like Rubber And Gummies Mixed Together, And They Both Wear Matching Pearls.

He's Very Protective Of Low Tide, But Also Has The Most Arguments With Him. Eventually Of The Arguments With His Brother Is What Leads Him To Somehow Get Separated From Low, And Therefore The Rest Of His Family. The Only Thing He Has To Remind Himself Of Them Is The Pearls He Wears On His Wrist.

He's Not Angry Persey, More So Easily Irritated.

LOW TIDE - He/They

212 cm - 7 ft (Voice Claim: Nanette - Gnomeo And Juliet)

Low Tide Is The Youngest Child In The Nature Family, The Younger Twin To His Older Brother, High Tide, And The Last Child Of Father Time. He's A God Of The Tides And Shallow Sea, Often Controlling The Low Tides.

They're A Bit More Goofy In Comparison To High Tide, And Like His Sister East Wind, Try To Find The Fun In Everything. He's Naive About A Lot Of Stuff, And This Leads Others To Be Very Protective Over Them, Especially High Tide, But They Often Get Into The Most Arguments With High Tide. Low Tide, Despite Being AMAB, Is Often Mistaken For A Girl, Due To His Appearance And Voice. He's Hair, No Matter What Environment, Always Flows Down, And He Wears Pearls Around Their Neck That Matches With Their Brother.

After An Argument One Day, High Tide Left The Cave They Shared With Low Tide, And Never Returned. Low Tide Felt Responsible For High's Sudden Disappearance, And In His Brother's Absence, He Took Control Of Both The High And Low Tides.

He's Very Cautious Now, And Tries Not To Get In People's Way.

And Now It's Time For The Lady Herself.

MOTHER NATURE - She/They

244 cm - 8 ft

Mother Nature Is A Little Complicated, Not A Lot, But A Little. Of Course We Know She's The Mother Of All The Children Of The Nature Family, And The God Of ALL Nature, And Representing All Of It.

She's Moody, And Sometimes Her Emotions Are Out Of Control, But She Tries Her Best To Be A Good Person. She's An Original God, And Has No Parents, She Just Came Into Existence Eventually At Random. The Form She Usually Takes Is Of Something That Looks Like A Green Satyr, But She Has Endless Shapeshifting Abilities, And Can Take Whatever Shape Or Form She Pleases, So This Is Not Her Only Form, But It's The Same Form They Spawned Into The Universe As.

All Her Children Have The Ability To Turn Into Animals, Have A Human Disguise, And Can Change Their Height If Necessary In The Moment, But None Of Children Can Shapeshift The Same Way She Can.

Although Her And Father Time Were Together At Some Point, They No Longer Consider Each Other Partners, And Nature For The Most Part Appears To Be Solo For Now. She Mainly Sees The Children At The Yearly Meeting, But If She Ever Wants To Check Up On Them, She Gets Others To Do It For Her.

She Loves All Of Her Children, But It's Obvious That She Favours Some Of Her Children More Over Others.

...

And That's All Of The Canon Nature/Miser Fam!

Gosh, Designing All Of These Guys Was A Pain In The But, I've Never Had To Do So Many Designs Back To Back Before. But This Was Also Pretty Fun! I Enjoyed Updating Designs Where I Thought It Was Needed, But Also Created Designs For Others I Haven't Drawn Yet. I Debated Drawing Mother Nature, But I Decided To Do Her Anyways, As She's Literally The Mother Of All Of Them, And It Would Just Be Unfair. I'm Really Proud Of How They All Came Out, Especially The Miser Brothers. I'm Going To Give Some Credit To @generalfebruary / @generalfebruary-rankinbassart As Their Designs Of The Miser Fam Did Inspire My Own, Especially Lightning's Design.

There Is Some Info That I Want To Save For My Miser Fam Ask Blog @miser-fam-stressful-seasons But This Basically Covers A Majority Of It. It Might Be A While Before I Do Any References Like This Again, But When I Do, It Will Definitely Be For OCs.

I Apologize For The Long Post, And I'm Sorry If This Ends Up Taking Up A Majority Of People's Tumblr Feeds, But I'm Really Happy To Finally Have This Done. Now It's Time To Finally Answer Some Newly Received Asks I Got On My Ask Blog! Until Next Time Everybody.

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nxiousxpsistence · 10 months

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it's over, they're all over

I've let them all go.

Yesterday was yet another Pride day in London and on Pride, nothing can make me sad. That's why it was good timing to have that convo where I literally let go of my crush after holding on to these warm feelings for a month or so - wait, exactly one month!

I found him after the march and we had a couple of drinks and talked. My intention was to lay it all on the table and gauge his reactions. Before I could say anything though, he hit me with "I've been upset over this. I get upset over things like this!." I spent the next half hour trying to understand what got him upset.

Apparently he felt like a male "pervert" perving over a femme who was not interested.

It was more like him starting something without my consent. I didn't put the binary into it, he did.

And it was just bc I didn't respond to him for about 6 hours and I hit him with "I need time to think if we can find a common ground" in the morning when HE texted me "Are we not speaking BRO?".

Forgetting how he left me on read for days on end and I never made a big deal out of it bc I didn't want to keep in contact constantly. Apparently he thought it was him being aloof and me chasing him, giving him the space just so I could bag him. Like what?

I tried to make him understand that it wasn't the original boundary-shattering but how he and I handled it in the hours following. He failed to respect my agency and my space at every step of the way. The initial attempt made me feel uncomfortable, the convo that came after didn't reduce that discomfort and, in fact, added to it.

For one, he literally said "Oh, I've been expecting this, this is too familiar." This is possibly the only notion I hate with my whole heart. It renders me without any will or means to reply. Should I try to persuade you otherwise or should I say "Yeah, you must be a genius!." There's an element of trust at stake here, too. I can't really put my trust in another person's way of thinking if they are in the habit of jumping to conclusions without enough information AND submitting to their impatience to assume the worst about themselves and myself. Like Super Hans says, I can't really depend on this way of thinking in a combat situation.

Apparently what he thought was that I must have got back together with my ex, who wouldn't want me talking to other ppl. Where exactly is my agency and my authority in that? Am I just a putty in ppl's hands and have I got no willpower to do as I please? Also, why are you trying to get closer to someone who you think can actually be dragged into things rather than following their own agency?

Towards the end of the conversation, it was pretty clear to me that we wouldn't be able to make each other understand our respective positions and I told him as much. I explained how I knew the pieces didn't and wouldn't fit and this is actually a good thing that'll save us a lot of heartache.

I think it was the toxic doublethink I got from him that put me off further. Half of the convo assumed what happened the night before was purely a misunderstanding, while the other half questioned why he wouldn't be able to use sexual innuendos while talking to me, an asexual. This way of thinking is DANGEROUS, not only for whomever he chooses to be with but for himself, also.

When you start questioning if something could be anything other than what it actually was, there's no fighting that.

He couldn't answer me when I flat out asked "Was it suggestive or not?." Because it fucking was. And him trying to convince me that it wasn't (while claiming he should be able to say suggestive stuff to me) was an even bigger red flag than the original suggestiveness. Hope he got that.

I was only shocked when he talked about how I approached him sexually and how if he'd done that, that would've been an issue with me. What he's talking about is this 4 sentences I uttered to him, explaining that I'd want a casual relationship, no strings attached, with hopefully some sexy times. That's it. It was me offering him my consent - NOT to have sex right there and there, but maybe to start talking about it, what we want, and what gives us joy and what makes us tick? How is it that our personal spaces should be available at all times to be invaded by others? Why would somebody open themselves up to hurt like this?

I was so careful not to touch him when I knew he wasn't there for it even as we were lying side by side on the same bed. It was only once that I said I wanted to touch him and he only consented to me cuddling him from behind - and that's exactly what I did, nothing more. So he did see how I approached this. He knew I wanted him badly and I was keeping a respectful distance even when we were in the same house. He knew how to do it, he just chose not to.

This was also shocking bc I realised how intricate my understanding of physical intimacy was. It was never straightforward and I knew that. But I never thought it would involve me having to fight against these linear, seemingly compulsory, and frankly childish impositions of what I need to tolerate. I don't have to tolerate shit and if somebody assumes that they do, I can't convince them otherwise. I found myself trying to explain the layers of my own sexuality which I'd got together over decades and I didn't enjoy it about a month into a situationship. Even him putting me in that position was off-putting.

He just wouldn't accept why his usual way of going about things wouldn't work on me.

This led to a painful realisation. I literally told him that if I'd been 5 years younger, I'd have taken this all in, performed the role of a good femme girlfriend, his efforts to convince me his intentions had been pure succeeding and me narrowing myself down more as we went along. It would've been a 2-year relationship AT LEAST and it'd end with him and me cursing each other for all the trauma we'd caused. I said, "I'm not in the business of depending on things changing, they never do."

It saddens me to think this is how ppl are taught to start relationships - based on wishful thinking. Mine is magickal thinking, there's a difference.

Then, he talked about how rude I was, saying he'd never do that to anyone. I said, "You mean telling sb when you don't want something?." He said, well pretty much. Apparently if he were me, he'd string me along without me knowing what he actually wanted. I'm not going to berate anyone for this, everyone has their own way, but this feels so fake and so pretentious and control freak-y to me. 1) Why would I subject myself to something I don't want to subject myself to? 2) Why could I not be courageous enough to tell ppl the truth without offending them or berating them? Why is it a no-go to say no to stuff?

It's funny bc I had told him that nothing true and real could hurt me. It apparently went over his head.

Once we had the convo, we went to the afterparty, tried to get in and couldn't, so we had a drink somewhere else. It was good as I felt things were back to normal. Like I can now have a conversation with him if I see him around.

BUT there were just 3 sentences (this is a lot isn't it?) that showed me there was no way back.

"You smoke too much, smoke less." He has no idea how much or how frequently I smoke. What is it to anybody if my way of living doesn't hurt them directly? Again and louder for the ones in the back - my life invites no intrusion.

"I don't like you when you're drunk." Then don't be around me when I'm drunk, it's easy. And if he's not comfortable with something, he can easily let me know. Holding on to it and saying it right after I "broke it up" surely isn't a good look.

"You'll get back together with your ex." Again do I have no agency? Do my words hold no truth? Why would I get myself into SOMETHING I DON'T WANT TO BE IN? This is the biggest red flag as he literally believes he can find himself in situations he doesn't want to be in. Why?

This last point is also significant bc I have this suspicion that this will be the foregone conclusion the whole community around us will have. It'll be a point of conversation how I've been flirting w sb else and my ex flirting with multiple ppl and we still live together - "Oh, they'll get back together." I understand ppl talk and I don't mind it - I know we have an interesting and somewhat "impossible" story - but I'd like to have the power to not be around anyone who'll enjoy holding on to their presumptions about me than what I actually have to say. I'd rather remain a mystery for the narrow-minded.

I am so proud of myself for keeping an eye on myself through all this. My inner child is happy. She feels protected. I'm happier now that it's over than I'd be when it went ahead.

Now I'll have 2 weeks for myself to talk to my feelings, see where they are, and persuade them that yearning for him is the better way to go than having him. I think I'll manage.

Again - I love myself and my love for you more than I love you and it's amazing.

#anaisgotnothingonme #lifeshrinksandexpansinproportiontoonescourage #somebreakupsarenecessary #navigatingthedatingscene

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supervillain-smut · 4 years

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Idk if you've done this already but "and THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED" for Cicero and the Listener when they're on a contract. Can be nsfw if you want👀 thank you!💜💜💜

So I spent 2 hours writing this, lmao. NSFW will be under the cut! I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I’m so glad my readers are enabling me to write Cicero smut, lol! Also, FYI, this is my first time writing this trope, lmao.

The Housecarl of Falkreath was much more difficult than you would have thought. Surely a housecarl wouldn't be so difficult, but when he lives in the castle surrounded by guards, things get complicated, so with a swift arrow to the head and a swift departure you and Cicero ended up in an abandoned shack.

Cicero, in the confusion of things, had attempted to draw attention away from you and a guard's blade had briefly met with his right shoulder. You managed to get back to him and fight your way out without taking many lives (to devastate the city was not your intent) and you had cut the thread that was being used to stitch up the wound. You grabbed the warm and red cloth to your left to clean up the last of the blood, when Cicero piped up.

"Listener should have gone ahead. Cicero can handle himself, you know. Besides, not much else to do besides tend to Mother if Listener is gone." His cheerful self was nowhere to be found, his voice instead somber and deep in thought, legitimately thinking about what he'd do if he lost you.

"Yes, well, your Listener probably wouldn't be around for much longer without their Keeper to keep them safe, eh? All the rash decisions they make, simply not built to last, Dovah or otherwise." A short exhale of air through his nose was Cicero's response, clearly not finding either idea very amusing.

"All done, Cicero. Now, I'll see what I can make us to... Well, that's not the problem I was expecting, but it's one I can handle." Cicero tilted his head, wondering what you meant by that, when he realized that there was only one bed in the shack. You two weren't exactly distant, nor did either of you hesitate to show the other physical affection. You have shared a bed before, when you bought a house in Markarth and were still waiting for the rest of the furniture, the sharing wasn't the problem, no. It was the size of the bed; either of you would end up on the floor or squished against the wall were you to try and sleep side by side like you have before.

"Cicero can sleep on the floor, Listener, really he doesn't mind. Cicero doesn't sleep much anyways." You shook your head, it was completely illogical. "No, Cicero, you're injured; you sleep on the floor and you're bound to either make that wound worse or get it infected. The fact that you haven't been sleeping well or much at all is another problem all its own. I'll take the floor, sleep on one of the hides we took from a Sabercat, that's final." Cicero opened his mouth in protest, but would rather not fight about it and promptly shut it again.

You had finished cleaning up everything, and handed Cicero a cut of venison and a sweetroll you'd been saving for him, and took your portion and a honey nut treat. Once you'd both finished eating, you made him take a swig of a healing potion (to which he made the funniest most disgusted face you'd ever seen) and wrapped his shoulder before he settled in the bed, you on the ground by your weapon, closest to the door.

Your mistake, in an attempt to subtly protect Cicero while he was wounded, was setting up too close to the door. Half way through the night you awoke shivering like mad, but refused to move in fear of waking Cicero, the lightest sleeper who ever lived. The quote unquote 'solution' you came up with was to attempt to wrap yourself within the pelt, leaving little room for you to actually lay down, and ended up on your side more so using the pelt as a blanket than a bed. As soon as your side touched the nearly frozen solid floor, you gasped and quickly rolled back onto the pelt, landing you in the exact same spot you had attempted to get away from.

That, apparently, was the end of Cicero's little listening game, as he groggily spoke up. "Listener, will you just come lay with me? I can hear your teeth from here." You sighed again, giving in to the fact neither of you would get any sleep this way, and dragged the pelt over to use as an extra blanket for you both. "Well, are you going to scoot over, Cicero?" "Listener, if there was any space to begin with I can assure you I would have given it to you already." You gave him a stern look, now was not the time to be joking around. You were freezing and could make a firm guess you were both exhausted.

"Well then how am I supposed to climb in?" "On." You blinked, he wasn't really... "Come again, Cicero?" "Well, Listener, there's no room for in, so you'll just have to lay on top of me, or you can be stubborn and freeze, but Cicero doesn't think that's ideal for either of us." You took a look around the room in one more desperate attempt, but came up empty handed as to what else to do. So, you settled for swinging your leg over his, straddling him for a moment before carefully laying on his chest and pulling the pelt over both of you.

"Listener, Cicero is going to be blunt; you're colder than a Draugr." You playfully gave him a light smack on his left arm, sighing as you settled on him, legs on either side of his, one hand playing with his hair the other drawing circles and patterns on his arm. You really did love and care for Cicero, and he did too, looking at you through his eyelashes adoringly, just watching you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the same thought of how beautiful you were, a switch flipped in his head and he was imagining how beautiful you'd look while he was pleasuring you.

He metaphorically attempted to shake his head and clear the thoughts, but you were closer than you'd ever been before, and he didn't know when he'd ever get a chance like this again. He finally decided to put his plan into action, and test the waters; he placed a kiss on your cheek, to which you smiled and returned the gesture. He then kissed your jaw, to which you sighed, before he finally caught your gaze and stopped only for a moment, bewildered at the sheer amount of affection he saw in your eyes before finally snapping out of it and kissing you quickly on the lips, leaning back to gauge your reaction.

At first, you hid your face by turning it away from him, and he thought he had crossed the line; then movement as you shifted yourself upwards to meet his gaze again, seeing fear and curiosity, only to place a longer kiss, and it didn't take too long at all before the back and forth stopped as you locked lips and fought for dominance, a swift submission on Cicero's part, as you straddled him and cupped his face in your hands, the heat and friction between the two of you building by the second.

He let out a sigh through his nose as you began to slowly grind your hips, and you let out the smallest of moans as he met you with his own movements. Cicero broke the kiss to attack your neck with nips and bites as he sucked at the skin there, leaving hickeys to say you were his. You lightly bit his earlobe, and he began rutting his hips against you. You broke apart only to look at the other to confirm you both wanted this. With a swift nod, you had locked again, the heat unbearable despite the raging cold outside as he removed your shirt, and you his, as he sat up, the pain in his shoulder completely forgotten to place his mouth on your nipple.

You moaned lightly, arching your back just the slightest as you picked up the pace, grinding desperately into his lap. He gasped, removing his mouth and leaning back with his mouth open, face twisted in pleasure he hadn't felt in a long while. You began to work on removing his pants, his hands lazily placed on your waist as he watched your hands and helping you work them off him. You were in awe he was allowing you to do this, Cicero came off as almost Asexual, too wrapped up in his work or just disinterested, but here you were.

His cock sprung free, aching to be touched. You slowly worked your hands around him, and he took in a shaky breath as he leaned his head back. You spit in your hand and moved quicker, earning a gasping moan from Cicero, his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth agape, panting. Your core was aching for him, and the longer you watched him the more you needed him. You kicked off your own pants, and made short work of your panties as you stopped for confirmation that this is what he wanted. "Cicero, do you want to continue? Just tell me, yes or no, and I'll act accordingly to your answer."

With a rapid nod of his head he responded "Gods, yes, Listener. Please." With that, you lined yourself up and slowly sank onto his member. Cicero was left with his head all the way back, gasping and moaning at the sensation he had all but forgotten, gripping at the blankets and trying to keep his eyes open to watch your face as you slowly took him all in.

Once he was fully sheathed in you and you had adjusted, you began to rock your hips as he placed his hands on your thighs, whimpering for you to go faster. You picked up the pace, and he began slowly thrusting in time. Not long after you had begun, he flipped the two of you so you were on your back, wrapping your legs around his hips, his arms curling over your shoulders as he buried his face in your neck, moaning your name, not Listener, your name, among other things into your ear as he began to slam into you.

You were both whimpering and moaning, your nails scratching down his back caused him to groan and bite into your shoulder, and you felt him twitch as he got closer and closer to his release. He adjusted his hips and struck a particular spot in you, causing you to cry out his name; he paused, only for a second, before continuing to pound into you, desperate to hear it again. You cried out his name over and over, and he bit into your shoulder again as he closed his eyes and listened, getting oh so close, and you weren't far behind; in fact you were ahead of him. In a few more thrusts you came, arching your back into him, one hand lightly pulling his hair as the other raked down his back with a gasping cry.

Cicero reached his peak as your muscles gripped him like a vice, squeezing over and over, and he gave a small cry of your name as he pushed into you, ending up on his toes as they curled into the bedding beneath you, stars in his eyes as he came deep inside you. He soon relaxed, pulling out of you, his cum seeping out of you as he pulled you into his arms to lay on his chest, just noticing the sun coming up; it was the blue hour, one he liked the most.

"Cicer-- I love you, my Listener. And I will do everything in my power to make sure you're safe. Please don't ever doubt that." You sighed contently, a warm smile taking residence on your face. "I wouldn't dare, Cicero. I love you, too, so much."

#cicero #skyrim cicero #cicero skyrim #tes skyrim #skyrim #smut

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stabbedinthenameofscience · 3 years

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Tom Hiddleston's lanky nature, long legs, long fingers, are some of the physical features that have drawn me.

Some stories to bring about why:

A moment in time- Albion, MI, where I lived before here. I'm tutoring in a GED program. One of the other tutors notices my hands. I have long fingers. The joints are a little angular, thanks to the hypermobility and the arthritis that has already started to damage them (I am in my early 20s at this time). He tells me he's never seen hands like mine. Fingers like mine. Lanky. I've never thought of them as pretty, though at one time I considered they might be elegant. I could do pretty things with rings, especially in tiers, some floating above my second knuckles.

But this person...he tells me of this syndrome he's read about, how these hands are irregular, different, something that's a sign of a hidden something worse. Something I should (or shouldn't look up). And it did two things. 1) It sent me down a reading rabbit hole that scared me for a while, before I realized this was an unrealistic fear. 2) It made me incredibly self-conscious about my hands and planted that seed of self-doubt that I no longer saw them as something neutral, or simply hands, but something odd, awkward, abnormal. That lasted for years. I've gotten more neutral about them over the years, especially as I start wondering when their function is just going to impede the things I love to do, including writing. They aren't just hands. They are a part of me this degenerative disorder may some day claim and that scares the living fuck out of me. They are something I need to use as much as I can now, strengthen, and enjoy what they can do for me, what I can do with them, regardless of how they look. I can take pride in the strength of these hands (when I have it), with the fact they can type, on a good day, upwards of 70 words in a minute (often with surprising accuracy). I can take pride in their aptitude with tools, with the way my long fingers can reach things others can't, or I can steady them to the point where, when they don't shake, can paint a beautiful line, courtesy of my training in scene painting. They can make, and they can make beautiful things. I'm making my own wedding dress, which, while not traditional by any stretch, is something that is still a feat I can take incredible pride in.

These hands have held children, built a life, and repaired things I've been told were irreparable or only worth the rubbish bin.

And yet, thanks to one person's fascination with them so many years ago (going on twelve at this point), the damage was done and I still look at them in some moments of self-doubt and insecurity and think they're ugly, they're "old person hands" (I turn 37 this year and aging so early is another insecurity of mine), they're spider-like, they're too "thin" (in that my tendons and veins are clearly visible under the skin's surface on the back of my hands) and my knuckles are a little too imperfect, made all the more visible by how slender they are. And that they swell in the humidity, that the arthritis makes me unable to some days wear my engagement ring and the little copper key ring that both are dear to me...these things make me resent them at times. There's something "wrong" with them (which I know is utter bullshit- they're just hands, they are a part of my body, and they will serve me well until they won't).

I've also dealt with a life-long insecurity about my long legs. Dancer legs (14 years of ballet, many of tumbing, many of tap, and a few of jazz). Legs with strength and grace, but also lanky legs. I'm all leg. Legs that won't quit. Unwanted attention from a cluster of frat boys while I was walking in a short dress with my mother on the campus of Michigan State University and was still in high school. I stopped wearing shorts. I stopped wearing skirts above my knees. Because my knees are too angular (like the rest of me), knobby, and damaged thanks to scars from a surgery in the attempt to save the right one from the arthritis that started with it and has crept into other areas of my body. Again, attention in a moment I definitely didn't want it cracked and broke the self-esteem that has, for some reason, always been fragile. For years, I've been sensitive about my legs, initially because of the scars, small and faded as they are. But the trauma that one knee left me with, that my arthritis continually brings back, continually reminds me exists, gifted me with deep insecurities about my knees, compounded with the dipshit comments of adult men to a teenage child.

I've never seen these things as valuable. At their best, they are body-neutral. At their lowest, they are things that bring shame, doubt, embarrassment, unwanted attention and gaping.

And so, when I am a young adult a decade ago, just turning 27, pregnant with my first child, my body a mess from the pregnancy (from swelling, the awfulness of weight gain is to arthritic knees, the looseness of my hips that shift in ways I know aren't normal, the intense lower back pain, and the nausea that never abates), I see Thor. And there on screen is a young man only a few years older than myself with lanky legs and long, elegant fingers. In that moment, I'm drawn to how theses features don't put me off in the way they do in myself. I seem something of a commonality with this rising star in a movie that is essentially space Shakespeare that stars one of my favourite heavyweight actors (Sir Anthony Hopkins) and is directed by an artist I have admired for years at that point. The entire movie stands out to me and thrills me, calling to me as theatre on the silver screen, the Shakespearean and classical acting evident and threaded throughout the entire thing.

And it is beautiful to me.

And so is this man with features I'd rejected in myself, one a decade (my legs) and one only for a few years (my hands).

It probably seems odd that this moment was a branching point in the way I've handled these insecurities, but it was. I still won't wear skirts that show my legs. I still refuse to wear shorts. But these things also come from the habit of not shaving my legs, not generally because I resent they are long and lanky, just like the rest of me. Every movie I've seen with Tom Hiddleston when I feel myself smile at this lovely human (physically) who also has a public persona that is witty and soft-spoken, a nerd about theatre, who likes to explain acting process, who digs into literature with excitement...there's a moment of realization that I'm finding someone on my "tea list" (I'm mostly asexual- it's not a snog/shag list, it's a "take tea with and fall into the joy of conversation" list) that has a body with a few features like mine. And while I'm primarily smiling because seeing those performances brings me deep happiness, there's a corner of my mind that is reminded I am OK as I am, I need to just accept this is the body I have, and I can embrace it as what it is and let it do for me what I need it to, taking pride in the capabilities I have in these moments and reminding myself I am always running from time in a countdown before this auto-immune disorder steals these things from me.

So...strangely enough, Tom Hiddleston is attractive to me because his existence as he is reminds me that my physical being is alright.

There is a part of me that would really like him to know this. I don't know why. But I think it would be nice for him to know that his existence on this planet hasn't just made people happy because of his skills, but that it has reassured one person that their body can be fine, maybe even beautiful or elegant (in time), just because he is.

#tom hiddleston #self awareness #body neutrality #trauma #self consciousness #self image #body negativity #self acceptance #careless words from people who had no business saying them

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pigeon-princess · 3 years

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I miss tybalt and evris so much! and yarou (though that one's not your character I don't think?)! Your comics are my favourite, they're so funny I just reread them all!! Have you played that campaign recently? Also i was just thinking, is evris an NPC or a player character? And do the other players date characters too or is it just you? Sorry for all the questions! TY for sharing your art, its always so good!

AAAA You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear!! Funny you should mention it, we’re actually playing a session of that campaign tomorrow! We actually play quite frequently and since we play for a long time, so much tends to happen that I don’t know how I can explain it all on here! At the moment we’re in Tybalt’s homelands, The Iles of Thiva! We just helped save some kids from a hag that was plauging a swampland and Tybalt convinced the party to let Matteo, a teenage half orc, join us on a short leg of our quest. So the poor kid’s definitely a little traumatised at this point. I’M so happy to hear you miss Yarou! He’s a player character that belongs to one of my friends at the table. Evris is an NPC! And YES Tybalt is not the only one dating characters at the moment. Yarou is currently in a relationship with another NPC known as Taka, a goliath monk that was previously Yarou’s teacher [Click the link here to see wonderful art of him drawn by our DM]. Both him and Evris are currently travelling with the four player characters.

Willow has a bit of a crush on one of our NPC friend Talfen, and while Ayden is asexual, he has a close attachment to a past friend of his known as Elaine!

I absolutely LOVE answering questions like this so if you have anymore please don’t hesitate to send them my way! THank you so much for taking an interest in my art and our dnd campaign! Its my absolute favourite thing!! 💚💚Thank you for your lovely ask!!

#dnd #Tybalt #Evris #Yarou #dungeons and dragond #dnd ask #Anonymous

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sableaire · 7 years

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Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I really look up to you for considering everyone's opinion and being calm and level-headed. I feel like I don't see a lot of toxic, passive-aggressive Tumblr stuff here. It's a breath of fresh air imo. I was just wondering how you do it? Like, what do you tell yourself, when you feel angry about someone else's opinion, but want to remind yourself that they're entitled to it? It would really help me! Thank you.

Hello - thank you for your kind words, Anon. I try hard to try and make my blog a comfortable place for the most amount of people, and though I sometimes feel like I slip up, I’m glad that you find my blog something refreshing.

I can’t really say how it is that I avoid the toxic, Tumblr passive-aggression. Part of it may just be that I avoid it myself, so it never ends up on my dash. However, thinking on it now, I guess a lot of that is a deliberate choice as well.

Something that gives me a lot of perspective on things like this is that I’ve changed a lot as a person in just the last six years. The transition from high school to college to now near-graduation was a significant one, and I underwent a lot of personal growth.

As such, I know what it’s like to make mistakes as a teenager (or younger). I know who I was, how I thought, and I know what would have worked on me and what would not have.

This post has gotten super-long, possibly my longest yet(?) so I’ll put it under the cut as usual. If you want to just skim the example given and go straight to tips, skip down to the bolded portion, ahaha. More under the cut:

Just a warning, but this example contains mentions of homophobia and, additionally, some highly negative or dangerously neutral opinions that I personally held in the past. I no longer retain such beliefs. I ask that you look upon this example as a story of growth, as I do.

For example, as a young teen, I had a very firm belief (not taught, just a personal belief that came out of nowhere;;) that anything sexual was bad, and I was more morally pure for having no interest in it. Additionally, I was raised in a highly homophobic environment, and because I had no concept of romantic/sexual attraction in the first place, I had no reason to really think about the idea of why loving the same gender would be bad. I just accepted it as a fact of life, just as I accepted it as a fact of life that eventually I would fall in love and marry a man, etc.

It was to the point where I kind of just… didn’t realize gay people existed. Hell, I didn’t even know there was gay media. I was just straight-up oblivious. But that fun fact aside, my complete disconnect from the existence of gay people meant that, if the topic came up, I probably would have made some highly ignorant comments.

((Side note, I barely realized heterosexual people existed - I didn’t realize that people were having sex in my high school until I was a senior!))

At the same time, I was a highly prideful individual. I know for a fact that if someone, especially some stranger I don’t know, confronted me in anger, calling me homophobic and a terrible person for some of the things I blithely said, young-teen-me would have drawn myself up to save face. I would have gotten offended, angry, and discredited whoever it was. After all, why would I believe some internet stranger over my environment - over myself and my experiences?

If someone had attacked me for my ignorance and these beliefs born of complete ignorance, I know for a fact that I would have ended up more firmly aligning myself with those beliefs. I would have felt the need to stand my ground, partially to protect my self-esteem, partially because as someone who looked down on emotion (I could write a book on my past self;;), I would not have wanted to be associated with a group of people that were so angry.

So, now that I am older and have moved beyond that, now that I know better, I approach these kind of issues in a way that I know my past self would have been more receptive to. I don’t get angry, and I don’t try to enforce my own ideas on other people. Instead, I offer more information. I trust the other party to be a strong thinker in their own right, and then I offer them a choice that might not have been available to them before.

As a young teen, I had no option to accept gay people, when I had no concept of their existence and the vague ‘fact’ that it was a ‘dirty’ or ‘sinful’ thing to be gay. I had no option to accept the idea that people should be able to love who they love when my belief on romantic love was that you just choose the best option available to you once you’re ready to marry (aroace, woo, fun times).

But I was a headstrong teenager, overconfident and smart enough to sound impressive, so if anyone attacked my character or intelligence over my homophobia, I would have felt the need to assert my autonomy over myself. Telling me what to think? Telling me how to behave? That would have been unconscionable. My indignation and anger would have kept me from ever trying to learn more about the topic.

If, instead, someone gave me an option - just made the topic of being gay something more normalized in my life, gave me more historic sources (either of cultures where same-sex relationships were accepted or records of the horrors the LGBTQ community suffered), and just gave me more information to reform my beliefs on my own, I would have been more likely to change my views.

Looking back now, that’s exactly what happened. The way it happened, however, is also something a lot of people might not have agreed with. What brought the concept of ‘gay people’ into my sphere of awareness was in fact a friend’s interest in BL content. My desire to support and share in her interests, along with a natural curiosity and interest in storytelling, led me to read a number of BL manga. I never got into the BL community because I didn’t experience it the same way they did - as a sex-repulsed asexual, I wasn’t reading it for sexual gratification, so I couldn’t relate to their titillation. Even so, because I never do things by halves, as a teenager, I continue reading BL as a hobby.

Some, of course, was blatant fetishization, and I am now embarrassed that I have ever read those. Actually, I’m embarrassed about this period in my life in general, for various reasons, but I’m sharing the story! Just for you, Anon!

In any case, some was blatant fetishization, but I did also encounter some actually well-written stories with emotional stake. Now, I’m not saying this is in any way ideal, but it was these stories that exposed me to the idea of social rejection, fear of being disowned, etc. due to homophobia.

These particular themes struck a chord with me, because even though I had just accepted the idea that I was going to marry someone and have children, etc. I also had a vague awareness that I didn’t want to. In Korean society, and with my grandmother, I did have an ingrained fear that I may be somehow rejected by my family should I ever not want to go to any of my grandmother’s blind dates for me and such.

Sometimes in high school, when I answered that I didn’t have an interest in dating, family members would accuse me of being a lesbian in a tone of near disgust. Prior to reading the BL stories, I likely would have been offended by the accusation. After reading the BL stories and reading about situations where people got cut off for being gay, I was more hurt by the idea that if I was actually gay myself, I likely would have been rejected. It better helped me to better understand and empathize with some struggles that LGBTQ persons may go through in their lives.

This empathy led me to be more open to reading about the LGBTQ community, and it helped me to better control my surprise when I found out some of my friends were bisexual or had kissed girls, and it was a gateway to more information, with which I have shaped my current beliefs and moral code.

This is another reason that I don’t really engage in Tumblr’s moral crusades. I’m of the firm belief that people grow given the chance, and that growth is shaped by three things: information, support, and choice. In this example, my ‘information’ came from places that the more morally aggressive side of Tumblr would consider irredeemable: BL media.

I’ve written a post or two on the topic in the past, so my followers already know that I disapprove of the fetishization often inherent in this kind of media. However, I simultaneously cannot bring myself to bring myself to just tell people, “Hey, you shouldn’t read BL,” because it would not have worked on me, personally, and also because my experience reading BL actually contributed to the who I am in present day.

Let’s create an Alternate Universe - remove this source of ‘information’ from my formative years. I had no opportunity to empathize with an example of emotional rejection. Due to living in South Korea with a limited social circle, attending a Christian school, I have limited opportunity to meet actual gay people. Instead, as I grow up, my increasingly evident disinterest in guys leads to more disgusted/concerned accusations from family members that I’m a lesbian, which I react to poorly because I am both repulsed by the idea of a romantic relationship and also because I have been told all my life that being gay is something undesirable.

I eventually make a homophobic comment, because I start to associate the concept ‘lesbian’ with my personal revulsion. In response, someone calls me a terrible person, irredeemable, etc. and challenges my moral character, something AU me has a high opinion of. Insulted, I feel the need to defend my position because, psychologically, it is easier to decide that other people are wrong than admit that I am wrong.

The new ‘information’ available to me is that people who support gay people are ‘overly-emotional’ and will attack a person’s character without knowing who they are. Perhaps I receive a death threat or they tell me that people like me are better off dead. Then the new ‘information’ available to me is that people who support gay people are potentially dangerous.

As an upset teenager, in this AU, I speak to my family about this. Due to some ingrained homophobic beliefs themselves, they validate my experience. Some of them might tell me that people who support gay people are “just as bad as gays themselves.” My mother, especially, is furious about the death threat. She tells me that I’m smarter than they’ll ever be, how dare some stranger say that. Is it possible to report them to the police? I tell her, no, that’s not possible, mom, it’s the internet and also they’re probably in a different country.

This is AU me’s ‘support’. It reinforces the ‘information’ that I received, and it makes it more difficult for me to accept conflicting information in the future. Online, I may encounter other individuals who have received hate and or death threats for their homophobic beliefs, and I connect with them. We commiserate. This is more ‘support’ which makes it even harder for me to change my mind in the future.

And throughout this whole series of events, AU-me feels that she is in control of her own actions. She didn’t ‘give into’ the people trying to force her to change. She is proud of who she is, and she feels confident in her autonomy of herself. Due to basic psychology, she feels that her choice is the right one, and she instinctively seeks out biased evidence that confirms her beliefs.

Flash forward to AU age 22, I would be a completely different person to who I am today. I would not have the friends that I do. I would not be on Tumblr writing this post. My moral code and personal beliefs could be completely different.

So then, here’s a philosophical question: Does the very real possibility that I could have become an elitist, sexist homophobe make me a bad person?

There are some people who believe that people who are morally good will always end up where they are. I am not one of those people. I consider myself blessed that I met the people I did and had the experiences that I did. I am grateful that certain hardships in my life gave me time and reason to sit down and think about the kind of person that I want to be.

Due to the information that I was lucky enough to encounter and the support I was able to find, I was able to make the decision to commit to being an open-minded person.

Of course, I recognize that my experience is unique to myself. It is very possible that someone else, in my aforementioned example, would have ended up homophobic in a different way - fetishizing gay people, applying BL fantasies to real life people, etc. - but in my case, that wasn’t so. And that’s the issue. You can’t accurately predict people’s trajectory of growth upon exposure to controversial topics and or media. However, it’s almost certainly guaranteed that anger and threats will be poorly received, and likely counter-productive.

I believe that people are a product of their experiences. There have been a lot of kind people in my life, such as yourself Anon, who have told me that they respect my approach to situations or my philosophy on life or how I conduct myself, etc.

Ultimately, it is just that I am a product of my own unique set of experiences, and those experiences encompass both circumstances and mistakes. Upon coming to college and spending time away from my family, I really started committing to my self-betterment. I spent a lot of time thinking about my beliefs and the kind of person who I want to be. I took courses in Conflict Negotiation and Social Psychology because they were important to me.

Right now, I am still learning, and I’m still trying. I’m really, really happy that I can be someone others find helpful for their own personal growth.

With that being said:

So, Anon, your question was, “I was just wondering how you do it? Like, what do you tell yourself, when you feel angry about someone else’s opinion, but want to remind yourself that they’re entitled to it?“

It’s not necessarily that I believe someone is entitled to their beliefs. There are some beliefs that I find dangerous, and I do not believe any person should have them. However, before I get angry, I think about my own experience as a person with less-than-stellar beliefs, and I think about what kind of approach would have best worked with me.

In my experience, the elements that contribute to a person’s opinions on something are the following: information, support, and choice.

So, things to keep in mind:

Every person uses the information available to them and the support system attached to that information to make, what they believe to be, an informed choice. People always believe in things and behave in a manner that makes logical sense to them, and that is important to remember.

Choice is the most important element of the three. The psychology of autonomy, especially in highly individualistic societies such as the United States, is incredibly powerful. Even if someone changes their behavior because someone else tells them to, they may later on start to resent both the behavior and the person that forced them. Ultimately, if you want someone to really change, you have to let them come to a different conclusion on their own.

So, how do you change someone’s mind? Give them information and let them know that should they desire to change, they have your support. If someone is ignorant about something, rather than condemning them for it, it is most effective to present information in a neutral manner. Give them the option to learn, and let them choose the option for themselves. And, should they want to learn more about a certain perspective, offer your availability and aid. Allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from their own mistakes. Act as a guide they can choose to follow rather than trying to push them down a certain path. This is the approach Daryl Davis took towards the KKK, to great success.

That being said, I realize that this is a best case scenario. It is incredibly time-consuming, and it is for many people emotionally taxing. This method is not for everyone, and part of the reason I stick to it is because I recognize that I am one of few people who have the patience and the temperament to carry it out, and I believe that it is a necessary method in this world. However, I recognize that it is unfair to expect people with great emotional investment in a topic to just swallow their feelings and bear with it. Sometimes, certain topics are deeply upsetting to individual people. Especially in these cases, I recognize that it is highly difficult for people to take on such a goal-oriented approach.

I am additionally committed to my approach because I know that there are some people who will be receptive to it, but not everyone can make use of it. As such, many people I know in my life ask for me to mediate conflicts or help them figure out how to change someone’s mind. I am an ally to many causes by being this more neutral, more open-minded person. I have received criticism for this before, that there’s no point trying to change bigots’ minds or that there’s no arguing with certain people. However, as someone who acknowledges that she could have become someone completely different (someone who thought poverty was the fault of the poor, that sexual assault is fault of the victim, that being gay was an abnormality, etc.) I know for a fact that people, especially younger people, can change their minds, given the opportunity.

However, like I said, this method is time-consuming and emotionally taxing. And as much as I want to help people, I also have an obligation to myself. So, part of the reason I avoid toxicity and passive-aggression or fan/anti debates is because I’m… I’m on Tumblr for fun. For a good time. Why would I willingly throw myself into more trouble when I can avoid it? The thing is, I already know that I can’t change everyone’s mind, so it doesn’t matter if I don’t go in and engage every single person on Tumblr whose opinions I disagree with. Instead, sometimes I’ll get Anons who ask my opinion on certain topics, and I can make a long post like this one. People interested in the topic will then read and reblog it, and it will eventually reach a wider audience. The thing about my approach is, I can’t please anyone on any one side. I have people who disagree with me on both sides… but, unlike other approaches, I also have people who agree with me on both sides. In any case, I’m on Tumblr for fun, and I don’t have a responsibility to anyone but my own followers.

That is also why I try to keep my Tumblr free of discourse, for the most part. Not everyone can handle emotionally charged controversy, and not everyone can easily ignore it if it just shows up on their dash. Although I try to tag everything so people can opt in and out of content, I also want my blog to be mostly a fun and friendly place for people where they can occasionally learn things. There are enough sources of stress in the world. I hope I’m never one of them. ((On occasion I will reblog a post which involves my political beliefs, but that is because I feel that, in this case, given the current US political climate, I would feel personally uncomfortable if I didn’t make my personal alignment known.))

Also, it’s important to note: If you’re engaging in dialogue and trying to change someone’s mind on a topic without thinking about how to succeed at it, at heart, changing their mind may not be your ultimate goal. Often times, a lot of Tumblr controversy comes, not from a place of wanting positive change, but wanting emotional gratification. Sending angry messages on the internet may feel good in the moment, but it often drags you into a frustrating argument that leads nowhere. It also will not have a long-term positive effect. Having the moral high ground in a situation can feel fantastic, and I’ve been there - but again, it doesn’t actually enact positive change. It just creates a survival-of-the-fittest environment for negativity. You’ll chase away the people who have room to grow, and only the loudest, most stubborn, most arrogant people will remain.

Further, getting angry at people’s opinions on the internet creates an environment where it’s terrifying to make mistakes. On the internet, it’s impossible to tell someone’s age and or circumstances. A lot of people on Tumblr are kids, and they may or may not be lying about their ages to seem older. Think about parenting, and how criticizing small mistakes in behavior can lead to a long-term fear of making mistakes. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. Creating a system where one mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life is counter-productive to personal growth, and that’s what a lot of Tumblr controversy seems to be.

Actually, now that I’ve written all that, I just realized something I should have mentioned in the very beginning: I am not someone interested in changing the world. I’m not even interested in enacting social change. That’s far, far, far to broad a scope for me. There are some people built for such positions, and they seek to enter politics or start grassroot fundraisers, etc. I am not such a person.

Instead, I hope to become someone who can be a positive source of change for individuals. I don’t want to change the world or society, but I hope to be someone who can change one person’s worldview. An act of kindness for to a person who has lost hope. Someone who can translate languages and bridge cultures for individual people. Someone who can inspire someone to commit to their own self-development.

To this day, I consider learning that I inspired someone to learn a new subject or pursue a new career path my greatest achievements. Few things delight me more.

I want to be a writer, and if the book that I publish can make a positive impact on just one reader, I will consider that book successful. That story would have been one worth telling.

There are some people who can make a goal to change the world and make it happen. I find that far too grand a dream for me. I lack the motivation for it, the strength of will for it, the vision for it. However, engaging with people one at a time, I can manage. So, there really is no reason for me to engage in Tumblr discourse. If someone comes to me directly, I can work with that. I can talk with someone one-on-one, and who knows, maybe I will come out the person changed. But that’s a personable scale, and it’s a level that I can comprehend.

I cannot change the world itself, but I can change the world for one person.

I don’t know if this was the answer you wanted, Anon, and I’m sorry it’s so long, ahaha. Ultimately, my advice to you is, decide what kind of person you want to be, and work towards it. This isn’t about achievements or careers, etc. - those are external things that label you. Who do you want to be? What kind of impact do you want to have on others? What kind of impression do you want to leave? And all the while, what role in life are you comfortable with on a physical, emotional, and ethical level?

After you figure that out, think about how you can become that person. The thing is, you never will, not completely, but you can improve yourself month by month and get a little closer, and every step closer to being that person is a victory.

Most people in the world never take the time to think about it, so by taking the time to do so, Anon, you’ll already be a step ahead.

..... I feel like after all that, I didn’t actually... answer the question very clearly. I’m sorry;; I hope you got something out of this ridiculous response, Anon;;;;

#Anonymous #sableaire #discourse #mistakes #personal growth #character development #advice #sableask #philosophy #personal philosophy

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