#I also think that Ted gets strangely emotional when he says that he should have supported his friend and been there

[gottagobackintime]

Ted doing that weird analogy thing isn’t that strange, even in this situation. He always does these things. Talks about something that seems totally irrelevant but that has a core message. You can hate his analogy as much as you want and sure, it was messy. But what he really tried to say was actually really nice and something that you don’t hear that often. “We care.” Because yes, as the players say, they don’t care that Colin is gay. And it IS supportive but at the same time, it IS kind of dismissive. And this is what Ted is trying to say, Colin has faced so much hardship because of who he is and will continue to do so whether or not he comes out to the public. So they should care. Because that’s what true allies should do. They should care. Because not caring could lead to indifference. (Not saying that the team would end up feeling indifferent, they would probably kill to protect Colin tbh.) It's such a small detail to include but I think that it's beautiful. Because it's so true, "We don't not care.". Yes, we don't care that you're queer, you are still you, but we DO care about what you've been going through and will go through. I don't know, I just think that it was a great thing to adress, how seemingly accepting words can be interpreted.

Something else about Ted's clumsy analogy I want to bring up that I find interesting is that they cut to Trent’s reaction when Ted says “because I didn’t care” with air quotes. And Trent is smiling. Because I believe that Trent understands Ted. Sees what he’s trying to say. Trent picks up on what Ted is saying before Ted spells it out for Colin (and the team) and we also get to see Trent’s reaction to that moment. But Trent already knew that’s what he meant. Colin and the team just needed Ted to speak clearly. And perhaps he should have done that from the start, but he got there in the end. But Trent already understood.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #I also think that Ted gets strangely emotional when he says that he should have supported his friend and been there #so I think that it might be something deeper there that is not about dip or sports #he's looking down and he puts his hand in front of his chest so yeah I think that it's deeper than what the story he tells suggest #I don't know I'm just not upset about Ted's speech because I understood what he was saying #even before he spelled it out #and I mean he apologises when he's called out and he says it in another clearer way #people don't always say things in the right way and I feel like at times they are judged far too harshly #nicole watches stuff

[filmjoyreviews]

FAILURE!: Movie Review - by Amanda Mazzillo

Failure!, written and directed by Alex Kahuam, follows James (Ted Raimi) as he must make a decision whether he wants to support his living family or uphold his father's legacy.

The film explores the lasting impact of generational trauma and how feelings of inadequacy haunt even the people we think have their shit together. James's dilemma of selling his factor or letting his father's legacy live on--even though the business is failing--highlights how he views himself as a failure through the eyes of his father.

Tension Builds

Failure! creates tension in what should be a simple decision by showing James's internal debate between himself and a representation of his father--always telling him not to sell and judging him for ruining his legacy.

While Failure! accomplishes a technical feat with its one shot structure, the film tells a story we've seen before, but does so with a unique sense of absurdity.

We've seen these twists and turns before, but there's something unique about the tonal shifts between family drama and dark comedic thriller.

Crowded Room

But Failure! never reaches its full potential. Failure! is at its most engaging before it adds more and more characters. Ted Raimi's performance is the powerhouse at the center of the chaotic world established in Failure!.

As the film progresses, it becomes crowded with new characters and tells us more about James--taking him further away from his daughter's perfect image of him.

Learning more about James can be good--and it is when Raimi's performance peels back each façade, showing us another layer of James. But once we are told too much, the mystery is gone and the reality isn't unexpected and strange enough to satisfy.

Instead of making us more intrigued about how this family man was once ruthless, we long for the days we thought he was an ordinary man pushed too far.

Failure! is an entertaining thriller filled with exciting moments of dark humor. This is especially true during the initial moment where James goes too far, leading to delightful scenes of him trying to hide a body that he threw in his closet.

Failure! is at its best when its just James talking to what appears to be a manifestation of his dead father. In these moments, the film feels fresh and interesting, but as more characters get added, the plot gets muddled and rings less true to its own absurdity. As we move further away from the internal debate and darkly comedic moments, Failure! loses its charm.

Complexity

Ted Raimi's performance holds the film together beautifully, but no matter how layered James is as a character and how well Raimi performs each divergent aspect of his personality, I'm left thinking 'I don't really care what happens to this family man.' And when your film is so tied to a character making a decision, it's imperative that we care about the outcome, or even care about what it might say about the man. Since the weight of his decision doesn't spark an emotional reaction, the film feels hollow.

Raimi plays all the elements of James well. Going from unhinged rage to overprotective father to a grown adult brought back to being a scared kid, worrying about what his father thinks of him. The scenes where James reacts to Noel Douglas Orput's 'unknown man' like a child would to their parent correcting them for the umpteenth time are some of the film's most engaging. This idea of James still being treated like a little kid comes through wonderfully during a scene of a chess game.

The film also thrives in the few moments we see James interacting with his daughter Maria (Melissa Diaz) , trying to hide the dangerous parts of his personality, but also trying to hide the weakness he still feels in relation to his father.

Failure!'s location--a rustic cabin, possibly a vacation home. The one thing James still has from his past of being a rich family man with a successful business. The location looks great--which is especially important for a one-shot one-location film like Failure!.

But the choice of home also plays on the film's ideas of generational wealth eroding away. The film's central idea focuses on James asking if wealth for his living and breathing family who loves and supports him is better than a perceived legacy tied to his father who always viewed James as a failure.

Alex Kahuam's Failure! almost works as a single-shot thriller since its central performance from Ted Raimi is compelling and explores his personalities, unraveling who he really is as the film progresses. But there's not enough here to keep the audience fully engaged and wondering what will happen to this man.

Failure! is a mildly engaging thriller dealing with generational trauma and the pressures to hide who we truly are from the ones we love. Alex Kahuam shows promise with this well-shot film with compelling moments of dark comedy. Ted Raimi succeeds as a leading man in a nuanced , challenging performance.

Failure! had its world premiere at FrightFest.

#failure #alex kahuam #ted raimi #film reviews #movie review #film #movies

[hacked-by-jake]

Hbj, first of all I hope you have a great day. The theories about Jake using the character, it's making me crack my head, I've always been suspicious of the fact that he has such a quick love interest in MC, I don't see the point in him trusting and liking lovingly so fast in someone he doesn't know, whenever things get tough, he loves to say sweet things to calm down.

I love Jake, but of all the questions he can ask a stranger he decides to ask if MC has a boyfriend? It's like he wants to make sure he can use this method and after episode 8 when we decided to tell how we felt about what happened with Richy, I found him so cold in his responses, trying to treat the situation as unimportant and that bad things happen and when he saw that he was not convinced, he started to say beautiful things, I found it strange that he thought about giving up his sister for a complete stranger, because that's what we are, we don't know Jake and neither does he know us.

Despite all the theories, I know that when I talk to Jake again I'm going to trust him completely, after all they are theories, but the signs are there.

(If Jake is manipulating MC I will cry for days)

Hey, dear Anon! <3

Thank you very much! I also hope that you have a nice day/evening/night. <3

Well, first of all, even though the topic hurts a little, just like with you, but I love talking about it.

And I apologize in advance that the answer has become so long. I didn't expect that myself. xD

I fully understand your thoughts about this, and I’m also afraid that Jake is just taking advantage of us. I try to be as neutral as possible, so as not to be completely biased.

Okay, so I can say for myself, and for many others, that we’re actually the same on that point with Jake. We also trust him incredibly fast although he is anything but trustworthy at the beginning.

You know, I think the relationship between MC and Jake is a little bit based on soul mates. That it’s not a coincidence that we get to know him and that we get along so quickly.

We write more with Jake than with the other characters with whom we can enter into a closer relationship. For example, Richy, even when you flirt with Richy, it goes very fast to the point where you can get closer to him.

I think in some ways this "everything goes fast" is also simply because of the way the game works. I mean, we can’t take so much time to get to know everybody.

We immediately talk to all the characters, and directly a lot. If it would take longer in the game, it would be strange firstly because of Hannah, because she would be kidnapped much longer, and secondly, there would be a lot of tension missing. At least I think so.

You know, I think he’s asking MC if we have a boyfriend, actually, is more of a sign that he’s really interested. I don’t consider Jake to be someone who gets closer to someone when the person is already in a relationship. I think he really wanted to know. Because if he did all this just to make us trust him, he might not care if MC is in a relationship or not.

As we can notice, Jake has a hard time getting social contacts, having a hard time with things like smalltalk, etc. he tells us (we can ask him that, but I think only in the premium version) that he is and always was alone. (I can’t remember his exact wording.) And later he tells us that Hannah and Lilly are the only family he has left.

I think MC has just been the first person to really care about him for a long time, asking him more private questions. Directly during our second conversation with him, we can talk to him about the desert island, and ask him, for example, which programs he uses to hack.

I think, as he says himself, we immediately had a good relationship with each other. And if he’s been alone for a long time, and then someone like MC comes and pays attention to his personality, and not just superficially, he enjoys it.

We have not been deterred by him and his performances, and have treated him as a normal person. Not, for example, like the government that sees him as a criminal, but we know he’s a hacker, but we don’t let that put us off.

In episode 8, when Lilly criticizes us for really trusting him, we can say that we had no choice. We had to trust him, to help Hannah.

And so it was for him with MC. He was just trying to save his sister who was kidnapped in front of him. And all of a sudden, our number comes from Hannah. He had as few options as we had. He’s just trying to find his sister, so he has to trust the person whose number seems to have something to do with it.

Moreover, we are all in a dark time. A kidnapper and murderer who kidnapped one person, murdered one person, and maybe even a second one, Richy.

Everything is always under stress and we are working hard to find and save Hannah. Stress, grief and worry. When two people like MC and Jake meet and have to work so closely together, then a little distraction is really good. Or being drawn closer to someone when you’re desperate.

And then he writes a pretty agitated message, I don’t know if you ever chose this option, I can recommend it to you.

I think we can see how Jake really is when we talk to him about that Hannah might have done something to herself.

Jake says, "But if you think she might have done something to herself, that’s out of the question."

We can then say it’s okay, and we’ll continue to talk to him. However, we can continue to talk about it and tell him, for example, that we should not exclude anything. He’s still stubborn, and we can tell him, "Why are you so stubborn?"

(well, unfortunately I can’t find the screenshot of this place and I can’t remember his exact wording)

However, he sounds so desperate and worried and it also sounds a bit like a reproach, so that he even apologizes afterwards and says that he did not want us to feel bad about him.

(Maybe there is someone here who has selected it and has a screenshot of it)

Yes, unfortunately Jake, in episode 8 when we talk about Richy, sounds and is very cold and emotionless. I think it’s just hard for him to understand how it felt. And "unfortunately" he is more focused on finding Hannah that is one of the only things that interest him.

I think Jake is also kind of blaming himself for not being able to help Hannah faster.

As we also know from episode 8, Hannah had sent him an email. However, this address was no longer active, and he only saw it when it was actually too late. He called her right away, but if he’d seen the message sooner, that might never have happened. Of course, it’s not his fault, but that’s how we humans are. And I think it’s the same with him.

If he feels guilty, I can understand that he wants to help so badly. He probably blames himself for breaking off contact with her at the time. That he didn’t dare tell his sister he is her brother.

Maybe then everything would have been different, and Hannah wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.

I think he was thinking of giving up on Hannah and running away with MC because it was stressful for him, too. He also suffers from the situation, but does not admit it to himself.

As he says himself, he tries to look at everything as objectively as possible, so he ignores what happened to Jessy and Richy. Because I think he’s also hiding his own feelings.

And in between, we can see him from the emotional side. Only rarely, but sometimes it happens.

And right now he realizes that for some time it would be easier to disappear with MC and turn your back on everything. Since the situation also burdens him, it is quite normal to think about choosing the easier way, which would also make him feel better.

But, as he also says, this would bring nothing. The responsibility would catch up with us and we would live forever with the guilt of just letting Hannah down.

And last but not least: the topic of manipulation.

And yes, that’s exactly what Jake is doing with us, manipulating us by using our feelings for him, and calming us down by telling us nice things.

Best we see this in episode 7. After his pursuers tried to hack us. Although he used this method before, manipulated us, but in episode 7 it is the most extreme to see.

However, I have to say that we are doing the same thing with him. We’re doing the same thing.

And best we see that, in episode 8.

When we tell him that the others want to see what we have for clues, etc., and the others want him to come into the group.

We know for a fact that Jake isn’t thrilled. But we get him to decide against it by saying, "I can’t do this without you."

And that’s actually also a point that shows me that Jake really likes us, he gives in and accepts the situation after we tell him that.

And that’s exactly what happens when we ask him to write the letter to Ted with Lilly, where we can tell him that we’d like him to be there. And from that moment, Jake says yes.

If he really didn’t want it, or he didn’t care that we told him we couldn’t do it without us, he wouldn’t give in.

He would just keep saying that he doesn’t want to and he doesn’t want to talk to us about it.

We wouldn’t even have time to contradict him, or just tell the others everything, since he could have erased any evidence from our phone.

He lets us manipulate him as much as he manipulate us.

And he writes when he joins the group chat that he wants to change his mind to tell the others everything, because of us.

And even the others realize that Jake likes us.

Lilly, for example, says (when we talk to her in episode 6) that he interrupted the vote, that his reaction wasn’t normal just because he cared about the subject. He’s very biased, not just because we’re important to him to save Hannah. It’s because we were treated unfairly by Lilly and the others.

Jessy says to Phil that there’s someone who likes us, but she doesn’t know if we’re reciprocating his feelings.

I don’t think I need to say anything about Dan, do I?

Jake and MC are not as inconspicuous together as the two think themselves.

I think I’ve addressed the most important things now, so I want to say an end conclusion: I really believe that Jake likes us and not just manipulates us. I really think he wants to get closer to us.

I’m not a psychologist or anything, of course, but I think Jake has some psychological problems that he might even know himself. Many things are difficult for him and I can often identify with him on this point.

His actions and manner are not always the right ways, sometimes he does not know how to behave and what is okay and what is not. We can see it with Jessy and Richy.

With us, he tries to show empathy and support us, which is why he wants us to rest a little afterwards.

Jake doesn’t seem to have had an easy life, and of course that leaves its mark. I don’t think he’s that cold sometimes because he means it badly.

I know we haven’t known him for long, but this whole situation is so special that it’s not surprising that MC and Jake get along so well and get closer.

Of course I can’t say exactly, maybe it’s really all just played by him, that we will only see at the end, but I don’t think that everything is fake.

--

And of course, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and theories with us. As you can see, I had a lot to say and really enjoyed answering that, and I hope I could help you a little bit.

So, I hope that I have not forgotten anything important now and that I have taken up everything I wanted to and can say. 😅

As I said, I don’t know everything myself, and this is just my opinion. I hope I’ve managed not to be so biased.

Take care of yourself and stay healthy, lovely Anon!💚🎭🌹

#duskwood anon ask #duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood Jake x mc #duskwood thoughts #duskwood theories #duskwood game #everbyte studio #everbyte game #everbyte duskwood #duskwood everbyte #duskwood hacker #iamjake #hbj dw answers

[evertriedsoywithyourpopcorn]

5 Reasons Roman Is Infuriating (And Why I DO NOT have a crush on him)

(Logince with a bit of denying and pining) Read on AO3

My first fic, based on my Logince drawing (If someone ever wants to make anything based on my art, feel free to ask. Making content is hard and people fleshing out concepts is always fun.) Word count: 3641

Tw: Cursing, Food mention, Balloon popping, Remus being his authentic self

Character’s: Remus, Virgil, Janus, Logan, Roman (At the end), Patton (Mainly implied)

~~~

He had everything ready.

"Ahem."

Three heads turn to look at him.

"Logan, I really don't understand why you're doing this. You know I'm literally the Lord of the Lies, right? I can tell when you're lying."

"Falsehood. I am here specifically to prove to you three, the ones that have doubted me the most, what I think of Roman, so that you'll stop teasing me about emotions that aren't even there." Logan says, standing in front of a long classroom table. Virgil, Janus and Remus sit there, each maintaining their own postures and looking at him with disbelieving expressions.

"Logan, we can see your heart boner from here. You really think you can convince us with a slideshow presentation?" Remus picks his teeth, seemingly bored of the idea.

"That's exactly what I'm doing- What? Why would my heart have a boner? It doesn't have the proper parts to do that-" Logan looks lost, clutching the presentation button in his hand.

"It's an expression, Pocket Protector. It means you've got feelings for him." Virgil sighs.

Logan squints at him. "Of course I have feelings for him." Logan looks behind him, to the SmartBoard behind him. The board turns on, displaying the presentation title. "And those feelings are feelings of irritation. My name is Logan Sanders, and welcome to my Ted Talk."

There is a collective sigh from the others.

Logan takes a pointer stick (the one with the little hand on one side) from a holder on the wall, and points at the words on the screen. "This is 5 reasons why Roman is infuriating. And unlike your cognitive distortions may suggest, I DO NOT have a crush on him." He gestures with the stick where the same thing is written. "So, let's begin."

~~~

1. He likes to insist that he's the most handsome side, despite us all looking like Thomas.

It's ridiculous. All of their traits are reminiscent of Thomas's.

There are some mild changes they go through when they aren't summoned, but they are just slight shifts. For example, Janus and Remus both have different long hairstyles, and they all have a bit of a hair color change. Their features do shift too, emulating ones Thomas has seen over his lifetime that he'd associate with their personalities.

However, in person and in the mindscape, Roman really thinks 'he's the sh*t' (Virgil taught him that expression). He flaunts his beauty over everyone else's, strutting like the prettiest peacock in the flock. Sure, he's good looking, but the same level of good looking as all the other sides.

"You're all so handsome. But not as handsome as me." Logan recalls him saying in an episode.

He tries to use it to one-up the other's, even though they all know they look the same. He also enjoys flaunting his ego, attempting to emulate a lifestyle of the rich and famous when he feels like it.

It's rather ridiculous.

"You think he's good-looking?" Remus coos.

Logan glares, and changes the slide of the presentation.

2. He fights everyone all the time. (Except for Patton)

It seems that Roman has made the most rivals out of everyone.

He's rivals with his brother, he's got a rivalry with Janus but with more betrayal behind it, he's got his past rivalry with Virgil, even though now they're the closest friends, and despite making up several times, Logan is also his rival. Patton seems to be fine, despite their post-wedding event. Logan believes Roman is too worried of defending what he believes in against the literal embodiment of Thomas's morality.

"So, you two have tried making up, but have you considered... Making out???" Remus pitches, his smile all teeth.

Logan sputters a bit. "Puh- Wha- I don't think that would work."

Logan has in fact not thought of making out with Roman, thank you very much. Not even when they're so close, passionately arguing about who-knows-what in the spur of the moment, where it would be so easy to move just a little bit closer and connect his lips to the soft pink ones of the prince.

He has not thought about making out with Roman, because he does not have a crush on him. Period. End of story.

The two of them argue a lot. Whether it's how Thomas should spend his day, to the Chicken or the Egg dilemma (Logan knows he's right, by the way, Roman just won't see that the egg came first), to the ideal temperature for a heating pillow, to the best Crofter's flavor. They can range from productive, to stupid, and by the end of it they may just be fighting about nothing at all.

They jab at each other, come up with clever arguments, and although they're technically fighting, it sometimes feels more like a duel.

"Or a mating ritual." Virgil says under his breath.

"These points don't sound very negative." Janus adds, twirling some of his hair with his finger.

"It is negative. We fight a lot. He fights people a lot. Every issue seems to be a battle to him that he can outmatch, despite being better suited as a civil discussion." Logan stands taller, trying to defend his point.

"Well, that makes sense. I understand this point now. Go on." Janus waves his gloved hand in a dismissive gesture.

"Alright." Logan clicks his presenter button, and the slide changes.

3. He's loud. Super loud. All the time.

From singing to dancing to bantering, there never does seem to be a dull moment when Roman is around. Some may call it nice, but Logan would say that's a very polite description. It certainly isn't nice when Logan's trying to get work done, or watch a movie, or enjoy a peaceful breakfast, or most of the time really.

Logan has stopped working outside when he's trying to be productive because Roman will, without fail, come in singing, and then start a little fight with Logan that distracts him from his work and renders him unproductive for a long time because all he can think about is Roman.

"Hm... Wonder why that is." Janus interrupts, rolling his eyes.

"Well, you don't need to wonder. I said it was because of our fighting." Logan nervously adjusts his already immaculately placed glasses, resuming his point to his slide presentation.

It's odd, because sometimes even without leaving his room, he can still hear the sounds of Roman's voice in his head. He theorizes the absence of all that noise is making him subconsciously fill it in ( even though his mind also provides him with clear images of Roman's smile).

He can't escape the noise on movie nights. Roman will sing along to any song, scream at the most poorly-timed jumpscares, and no matter what, criticize the movie. Logan does participate in that last step from time to time.

During dinners, it depends. Sometimes, Roman will come in and do his thing, sometimes he'll make a dramatic entrance, grab a plate and then go off to work on something, and sometimes he won't show up at all, off on a quest in the imagination. Those particular meals are peaceful. Sometimes they feel empty, but so far, no one else has complained. Especially considering with Remus' and Janus' seats added to the table, dinner can be a wild event.

Sometimes, when Logan gets lonely, he'll bring his work outside. Every time, he can guarantee that Roman will be there eventually. He provides a healthy distraction, and he always feels much lighter after a bantering session.

But most of the time, he just can't stand it. How can one be so flamboyant for so many hours of the day? Logan had theorized it had something to do with overcompensation, his need for validation and attention, but then thought it was strange theorizing about his friends and went back to work.

Overall, not the worst trait, but it being applied to every scenario adds to the fact that he is infuriating.

"Hold on, can we circle back to the part where you said you thought of him smiling-" Virgil begins, only to be interrupted by Logan pointing his pointer at him.

"No, we will not. Next point."

4. He makes up stupid nicknames.

And he makes a lot of them. Even during serious talks, you'd think he had forgotten your name and was too scared to ask, so he supplies an abundance of back-ups to make you feel special. And they are quite varied, though all slightly jabbing. There are play-on-words, references thrown about... It would have impressed Logan, had all of his designated nicknames not revolved around him being a nerd.

"Hey Microsoft Turd."

"I need your help, Egghead."

"Listen here, Erlenmeyer Trash-"

"Calculator Watch."

"Oh Book Geeeerm~"

"Sure thing Specs."

Logan actually didn't mind specs, but his point still stands. All insulting, clever, but still stupid nicknames. Sometimes, he wonders if Roman keeps a book of them around. Somewhere in his room, filled with all the names he'll unleash onto his unsuspecting companions. Logan may have tried to come up with a list of his own in retaliation, but he couldn't think of anything Roman would think was clever. He spent almost a full night on it, hair a mess, glasses askew, head resting on his desk as he tried to come up with something at least remotely good enough. It interrupted his perfect circadian rhythm. Never again.

Except for the next night, where he tried the exact same stunt again, but that doesn't matter.

What does, is that all of those factors cause aggravation. He always feels weird when Roman gives him a nickname, varying from annoyance to a strange tingling.

"Are you saying he should stop?" Virgil interrupts, frustrated. "This point is going nowhere."

"I-" He's not sure. Although some of the insults are quite jabbing, Logan does want to support Roman's creative process. Not to mention, the nickname ‘specs’ oddly does hold a place in his heart.

"OoOoOoohhh, I have an idea!" Remus cackles. Although Logan is hesitant, he gestures to continue. "Okay, so pinky swear I won't try anything on you, but just close your eyes, and imagine how this nickname would make you feel if Roman said it."

Logan apprehensively closes his eyes, and Remus does nothing but lean slightly forward in his seat, and puts on his best Roman impression. Which is pretty good, considering they're twin brothers.

"How are you today, my love?"

Immediately, Logan flushes bright red from head to toe, covering his face in his hands and squirms. Remus's cackling intensifies by a tenfold, and the other two are poorly failing to contain their laughter.

"That's- That's- That's... N-not a nickname. Th-That's a p-pet name."

"Awww, but you're blushiiiing!" Remus squeals in amusement.

"Falsehood. N-no." Logan says, not enough bite in it to hold value. "We are going to move on now. That just... caught me off guard." He says, adjusting his tie several times, trying to compose himself. "The point is, his nicknames are stupid, and I don't like them- No, don't look at me like that Remus even that one- so it adds to his infuriating nature." Logan grabs the presentation button and clicks it aggressively to the next slide.

"And now, for my concluding point."

5. He is incredibly and willingly dumb.

Sometimes Logan thinks he wouldn't be surprised by the illogical things Roman would say. And then he gets proven incredibly wrong.

"Much like your... 'illogical feelings', mayhaps?" Janus drawls.

Shush, Logan is talking.

Granted, both Creativity twins have proven to be rather illogical, as they are embodiments of creativity, a force that knows only slight bounds to logic. Only with a defying mind can people push boundaries in the advancement of society. That doesn't mean however that those defying minds need to be intelligent.

"I believe Virgil specifically had called Roman a.." He takes out his special cards, flipping through them. " 'A Himbo'. Judging from his past and present behaviors and from the definition itself, it is safe to assume that yes, he is in fact a Himbo."

One instance he can remember is during a picnic in the imagination. It was Patton's birthday, and Roman wanted to do something special, so he set up a picnic for them all to attend. Logan doesn't enjoy visiting the imagination as much, as when he's there, things become more realistic and that makes him feel like a burden. Regardless, it was for Patton's birthday, and so he decided it would be polite to come along.

Everyone was guided by a trail of flowers to an opening in the forest, where a giant picnic blanket was laid out, pillows thrown around, and a large picnic basket stood in the center. There were many balloons of pastel pink and blue tied around, and the birds were chirping in a joint melody. It sounds almost like Happy Birthday.

Logan, as he approaches, hopes that his influence won't cause ants to emerge, because although that would be realistic, it would also be quite the nuisance.

He and the other's are just dressed in their usual attire, but as Roman emerges from the trees, he is wearing a shiny red party hat to go along with his prince outfit.

Roman immediately goes to serenading Patton and placing a party hat on top of his head, light blue with a little pompom on the top. He ushers him to sit on one of the largest pillows, and then goes around giving everyone else party hats. Logan stills when Roman gets to him last, a dark blue party hat with little stars in his hand.

"Do I have to wear that?" He asks. Although, sure, it does look nice, he doesn't want to seem ridiculous.

"Come on, you're in good company. Please? For Patton?" Roman bats his eyelashes at Logan, who sighs and lets him put the party hat onto his head.

Roman runs off to the birthday boy, and they all sit down. The time passes peacefully, songs being sung and Roman releasing a horde of puppies to the joy of the guests. By the time the food is out, everything seems to be going well, until they're all eating, and Roman pulls out an orange. As he's about to peel it, Logan speaks up.

"Roman, I would advise against that." Which may sound ridiculous to most people, but Logan is an expert on many logical things. ( Orange peels have a flammable liquid in them called limonene, and as both it and a balloon, made of latex, are non-polar, the liquid can dissolve the balloon, thus causing it to explode.)

"Against what?" Roman asks, but he does stop his attempt.

Logan adjusts his glasses, ready to explain. "Eating an orange near a balloon. As I cause the imagination to become more logical, doing so will most likely cause-"

"Oh puh-lease! I'm sure whatever wacky science things you're going to say don't actually work here! I mean, there is plenty of influence to go arou-" Roman, the spiteful side he is, gets even closer to the balloon, starting to peel it. Lo-and-behold, he can't finish his denying before the balloon right beside him explodes with a loud POP. The sound sends him jumping back in fear, screeching to the nine hells, and then falling backwards onto another balloon, scaring him again. Several sides laughed out loud at his pain, while Patton watched him, worried. Logan smiled internally at the karma, before getting up and making sure he was okay.

Roman did spend the rest of the party in a sulky mood, but the party was still a huge success. They had some good food, and while Logan made Patton a flower crown, he fed him forfulls of cake. It was a nice bonding moment. When everyone separated to return to the mindscape, Roman waved them all off from the imagination door. Logan turns back to look at him, but Roman makes no move to follow them all out.

"You're not coming back yet?" Logan asks, adjusting his glasses.

Roman sighs. "No, not yet. I'm afraid this dashing prince has a little bit of cleaning to do. And perhaps an adventure. You never know." He leans on the doorframe, smiling.

"Well, that is correct. I in fact do not know what you'll be doing." Logan nods to himself. "Do you need any help cleaning? I doubt I'll be much help with the adventure, but I do have hands." He gestures to his hands.

Roman looks quite surprised. "Oh, thanks for the offer, specs. I think I've got it all covered though."

Logan offers a hesitant smile. "Alright then. Let me know if that changes."

Roman quickly smiles back, a faint pink dusting his cheeks, and turns back into the imagination and shutting the door. Logan stands there for a moment, but not sure why. It's clear that Roman was not feeling all that great from the balloon moment. Even Logan, terrible at deciphering emotions, can tell that much. Perhaps he needs to let off some steam.

He just can't understand Roman most of the time. They do have so many similarities, being too proud for their own good, but it's almost like they're in two separate worlds. Logan, the learner he is, wishes he could explore Roman's own. Understand it. Understand him, and his way of thinking. Even though Roman is mostly dumb, he does make good points, and Logan tries to prioritize his input, as it's usually what Thomas is hoping and dreaming for as well.

~~~

The last slide shines back at them all. A concluding statement that makes the three watching sides snicker a little bit.

"And I believe he just doesn't understand how much we all think he's great. I swear, he's just so dense! It's so aggravating! How can he not tell that he's worth everything? Why doesn't he understand that we all care for him? That I care for him? He's wonderful, for god's sake! And that I don't mean to hurt him with my critiques. I want him to thrive! I-"

Everything stops. Logan takes a moment of silence. The three sides look at him, each with different degrees of anticipation. One looks pretty much ready to pounce out of his seat.

"...Oh."

And all at once, everything gets strung back into motion. Confetti literally falls from the ceiling as Remus jumps for joy, circling a very mortified looking Logan. Janus, the tired soul, rolls his eyes and lets out a slow, long clap. Virgil just rests his head in his arms.

"I can't believe this. You sit us all down for a presentation you probably double-checked and proofread, like a nerd, and only NOW you realize you were wrong all along? Why didn't you say anything, snake-face?" Virgil complains, sitting up just to glare at him.

"Wo-ow, it isn't as if I was saying that this whole time? No, it couldn't be." Janus deadpans, sarcasm spilling from his mouth like an old, worn, broken dam.

Logan doesn't move from his stand-still spot beside the projector, but Remus manages to bounce in circles around him, cooing. "Lo-lo's got a cruuuush! A crushy crush! A crushed crust of a crush! A crevice cracking ‘cause of the crushed crust-" He was going to continue, throwing expired banana peels around to substitute rose petals, until the sound of the door opening catches everyone's attention.

"Hey losers, Patton wanted to know if you-" Lo and behold, Roman walks in, regal as ever, smiling until he takes in the sight before him. The boring classroom look, contrasted by the amount of confetti that stopped falling as soon as he walked in. Janus and Virgil, wide-eyed and looking at him, completely still. Remus, caught mid dance, frozen in place with a smile. Logan, looking at him in the way one may look milliseconds after being caught stealing government secrets. Roman's eyes flicker to each of them, before settling on the projector.

"Roman. I-I can explain-" Logan starts, but Roman is already reading the words on the screen.

"... 'In short, he saddles me with unnecessary... feelings'? 'Unease, and uncertainty'? Who... Oh my god! Logan!" Roman looks at him, smiling in disbelief and amazement. "I know what this meanssss!" Filled with giddy delight, he sidesteps the table.

Logan gulps as Roman approaches, turning beet red as Roman takes his hands in his two own. "Y-Yes?" He practically squeaks as Roman looks him right in the eyes.

"Yes! Ohhh, this is so exciting!" The three bystanders watch, once again in anticipation, as Roman swings their interlocked hands.

"Yes?" Logan offers a small, tentative smile.

"You have a crush on someoooone! Oh Logan, you should've told me!" Roman smiles, completely oblivious to the internal facepalm of several present members.

"I-I'm sorry..." Logan looks down, slightly disappointed but still too flustered to say anything.

"God save the dense." Janus mutters, inspecting his gloves fingers.

"Don't be sorry! Come, we must make plans! I shall be your matchmaker! This is going to be perfeeeect!" Roman, sings, dancing out of the room and dragging Logan along by their still intertwined hands. The other sides watch them go.

After a moment of processing, Virgil sighs. "Well, I thought that was going to be resolved. Turns out they're both as dense as... dense people." He can't seem to think of any other similes.

"Welp, I'm just happy that they're one step closer to getting. it. on. romantically." Remus punctuates every word with some rather immature hand gestures. “And that they stop dancing around each other.”

"Who do you think Roman thinks Logan has a crush on?" Virgil asks, cogs turning in his brain.

Janus lounges backwards. "Well, let's see... Soooo many options. Either he thinks it's someone outside of Thomas's head, or the simple answer..."

Remus and Virgil both look at him, both with looks of realization.

"Patton."

~~~

#logince #logince fic #logan sanders #ts logan #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #ts roman #implied patton sanders #tw food #oliver writes #i also snuck an ace attorney reference #i was going to wait but i'm just very excited to post this #5 Reasons fic

[buffaloborgine]

Of Zack Fair, Genesis Rhapsodos and the strange narrative POV of FFVII-Crisis Core (Part IIIb)

Part I: https://buffaloborgine.tumblr.com/post/650462647672766464/of-zack-fair-genesis-rhapsodos-and-the-strange 

Part IIIa: https://buffaloborgine.tumblr.com/post/655899595763859456/of-zack-fair-genesis-rhapsodos-and-the-strange 

________________________________________

Warning: Sincerely, this part takes on an even more controversial route than last part. Please read the previous parts first before reading further on this part. (I did have the link to part I in case you are new reader)

Also, please keep an open mind when you read this. I appreciate any kind of discussion about theories, but please, try to keep your bias out when we discuss on an objective subject. Thank you.

________________________________________

The Mails (b) 

So we have the fundamental basic on how reliable the mails from the fanclubs could be. One person’s fanclub is mostly right when they wrote about their idol, but they may not be right about the others in the trio. 

Last time, we took a look in the Keepers of Honor’s mail, this time, we will take a look in the Silver Elite’s mail. 

Like, I think you would have already guessed out which mail it is, it’s not that hard.  

“The memory of silver winds

Sephiroth is known to value his private life, but there was a time when he had two best friends. We'd like to share a story of this threesome guaranteed to raise a smile.

The SOLDIER trio would use the training room exclusively as their playground, but in order to retain their 1st Class dignity, they would sneak in only after the 2nd Class members had gone home. Then they would proceed to have one of the three stand with a dumbapple on his head, while the other two would throw their swords at the apple to pierce it!

Sephiroth always won, his Masamune always striking every dumbapple dead center.” 

So, what’s the problem with this mail? It’s just a fun snippet about what the trio do in their free time, right? 

The first thing we notice about this mail is it’s title, “The memory of silver winds”. It then raises the very first problem about this. 

In the last part, I introduce the “Rashoumon Effect” to you guys, and it’s really important to bring it back here again. 

When you realize that you are facing a problem affected by Rashoumon effect, you should be aware of two things: one is that you don’t have enough proofs to confirm what the heck happened and two is the witnesses may not provide accurate testimony, either because of their memory got tampered by emotion, situation or even their own decision. 

Therefore, the title of this mail has a red flag that it’s just a “memory”, thus, it can totally be not accurate, due to, a lot of reasons. But of course, it can still be accurate, right? Then let’s move on to the next problems this mail brings about.  

“The SOLDIER trio would use the training room exclusively as their playground, but in order to retain their 1st Class dignity, they would sneak in only after the 2nd Class members had gone home.” 

In one of the very first mail Zack got from Kunsel, we got some information. 

Kunsel points out that “Genesis never found group activities appealing”, so it contradicts with the info “The SOLDIER trio would use the training room exclusively as their playground”. However, taken in the famous “training simulation room” cutscene, we find details contradict even more. 

Yes, we actually have a cutscene, which is trustable, of the trio in the training room and the mail from Silver Elite did say that too, we can assume that Kunsel’s stating was a wrong point of view on Genesis. The part “in order of retain their 1st Class dignity” shows that “Genesis never found group activities appealing” is a facade, Genesis acted like he doesn’t enjoy group activities, but in truth, he does, similarly to Angeal and Sephiroth. 

Therefore we can confirm that at least, to this part, the mail from Silver Elite is not wrong about the trio. 

Moving on to the next problem, and I repeat again, from the warning, this is the controversial part. 

“Then they would proceed to have one of the three stand with a dumbapple on his head, while the other two would throw their swords at the apple to pierce it!”

While this sentence sounds fun, what I want to discuss is the reliability. 

First of all, about the dumbapples. We don’t see much dumbapples around in Crisis Core, and especially in Shinra HQ. The places we can spot dumbapples are in Banora, in that one weird room of Shinra Mansion, and a few times Genesis takes it out.  

So to say that the trio would use dumbapples as a dartboard, would mean you have to see those apples around very much, but of course, you don’t. Since the dumbapples are not in abundance, wasting them as sword throwing boards would be extremely illogical. And knowing Angeal, he grows up in Banora, he sees the dumbapples as precious fruit, and he comes from a poor family, thus, wasting food for games would not sound acceptable to him.

The second issue with this comes from Genesis’s side. To say that the trio would get into the apple sword throwing game means that Genesis would have to agree to play on his own will, so would Angeal, and this may not be true. 

Genesis doesn’t bring the dumbapple out that frequently. We don’t even see him holding the dumabpple until Junon event. In which, he held out the apple as a way to reminisce about Angeal, who has just passed away not long ago. Besides, the Junon’s Sister Ray is a special place to him, it’s the place where the trio had had their very last friendly moment with each other (before the disaster occurred).

The other times he hold the dumbapple are: 

- Nibelheim Reactor, where he offered the apple to Sephiroth, as a way to ask Sephiroth to join him. 

- The bridge scene, where he is seen holding the apple and caressing it to his cheek. 

- In Gongaga, where he offers the apple along with “proving” his theory about the gift of the Goddess for Zack, but when Zack refuses, Genesis simply drops the apple into Zack’s hand. This later proves useful as Zack finally realized that Genesis could be in Banora due to the apple. (I’m pretty sure that when Angeal called Zack as “puppy”, he means Zack’s brain is of a puppy due to how slow he realizes the hints).  

Something to take note about is when Zack found Genesis’s diary. 

Overall, this very small amount of times we see Genesis holding out the dumbapple, his gestures towards it, and his dream to “serve the hero Sephiroth” the apples one day, show that he literally treasures those apples. He held the apple in reminiscence to his dead friend, he wished to serve the apples to his “hero” and he used the apples as a way to invite people to join him. Such a person, with that much respect for the dumbapples, would agree to use them as sword throwing boards? I don’t think so. 

Therefore, this part of the mail about the trio throwing swords at apples as a game may sound fine with Sephiroth, but it doesn’t with Genesis and neither with Angeal.

In conclusion, this mail of Silver Elite can only be trusted from the first half, the rest is totally made up, whether is is made up by Sephiroth’s fans, or even by Sephiroth himself, I am not sure, but I can be sure, the trio would logically never come in the training room to just throw swords at dumbapples. 

Thanks for coming to my Ted-Talk. I will see you later, with a new problem.  ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ 

_______________________________________  

Part IV preface: https://buffaloborgine.tumblr.com/post/656609254197936128/of-zack-fair-genesis-rhapsodos-and-the-strange

#FFVII #Final Fantasy VII #FFVII Crisis Core #Genesis Rhapsodos #Zack Fair #Angeal Hewley #Sephiroth #FFVII Theory

[ficsinhistory]

So we have news!

(Just making it clear that everything I'm going to talk about here comes from sources without official confirmation.)

So pals, we have information!

This is great, this is really great! 

And as a member of the fandom, crazy for theories, here my two cents of ideas.

 The MiSFIT

A new prodigy!!!! This is not training!!

This alone brings a lot of interesting ideas and concepts. First, maybe the college is preparing for a new semester, and maybe it is looking for another teenage genius because of Karmi's departure, which already brings a lot of impact.

How will Hiro feel? Will he feel threatened with a new prodigy, maybe he can become the youngest? It would be fun to see Hiro feeling on his skin what Karmi felt when he got up to it for the sake of empathy. Hiro has always been as proud as Karmi, after all, they are alike. Almost like a mirror.

Not to mention that perhaps Karmi herself is mentioned. Maybe Rishi knows something about her and the incident, which would make this tour a little uncomfortable. Hiro may think that the school wants to replace her or even coexist with another prodigy other than her. may sound.. strange. They've spent so much fighting and now that Hiro knows he likes her, but spent little time together as friends, it might bring up some things he might regret doing. This also brings the opportunity to show Hiro maturing from what he learned from Karmi and receive this prodigy with open arms. 

Outside that we can have a mention of Tadashi please, series?!!! Like, where's our precious kid who left too early?! After all, Tadashi is a great legend on SFIT and it could be an episode that has a great focus on him, which is needing to be done here a lot, in my opinion!!! Where's our handsome boi?

The second is about Rishi. According to all the research I do based on character names, Rishi is a Sanskrit name commonly given to boys and meaning "sage". Which makes sense because of the prodigy status they carry, in addition to the idea of future knowledge, perhaps ahead of time. His surname is of Indian origin meaning " headman " or "village chief". Maybe they are someone smug and arrogant, since he seems to be important enough to the point of Grandville in person asking Hiro to convince him to stay, which again would be hilarious to see Hiro deal with someone like that. It can also be a trick and the kid be the opposite, but how this season is humor... I would go on the smug. Outside that this name is given to the family of farmers, so maybe they have a field involved in agriculture and biology? We'll have to wait.

Return to Sycorax

FINALLY!!!! 

Disney has been in debt to this for so long that I can't even believe it's real!!! And we have Krei, which feeds yet another theory of mine, but we go in parts here because, man!! Finally!

First, we know it says Krei is going missing. Implying - in my opinion - that he went to Sycorax for some reason. I don't imagine NBB causing this since Sycorax wouldn't have anything that would help him get a family since it was an essentially Biotech company, living things, not robots. Again, maybe Krei wants something from there or maybe even wants to incorporate something from Biotech into Kreitch, which would lead to doing these reckless things.

Second, it seems that Sycorax really went bankrupt. Since the description said "the old building," it may imply that the real Liv Amara has lost everything. This would be interesting to see, since the poor woman woke up only to see everything she built be ruined without a return. And we will maybe  know how the arc of the city of monsters affected her. Remembering that Liv was 23 when the chaos happened and serious, Tadashi died at 21, she went through a lot, let's not sleep on it.

Third, and my favorite, trauma exploration!!! I'm a writer, what can I do? Imagine what this episode could yield in emotional?! The last time Hiro was there, Karmi was turned into a monster. He almost died, she almost died, Baymax almost died. Hiro and the rest of the team only have terrible memories of there and now they are returning to the eye of the hurricane! And again, returning to the place that happened all that was responsible for taking your love from you should not be pleasant. Again, Karmi can be mentioned and bro, I'm excited!!!

Basically, these are my individual thoughts. Now my general theories arise from this:

I really think it will have a fourth season, since as I mentioned, this season is only giving us construction and no closure, for what would be the actual final season. We still have new arcs being opened and questions unanswered. If the rumor of the ten episodes is right, three are missing. With that, over two. I believe the season finale is 22 minutes long and the other remaining tackle Momakase (who is in one of the hexagons and has not yet appeared) and Mr. Sparkles, we will still have a lot of things open because of this season. Seriously, the great thing that was the team going away was only pointed out in the first episode after being forgotten! 

Second, Braggtech may have something to be about and be the big bad of Season 4. She is a company originaly located in Austanbul, a mix of real-life cities Istanbul, Turkey and Austin, Texas. And both Rishi and Karmi have ancestry from countries of this region, the Middle East. Rishi may have something to be and even Karmi may be involved further forward. That is, more drama!!!

My theory that Karmi could become a Kreitech intern is stronger than ever. This would be great for the character, a chance to redeem herself and move on. After all, the signs are there for me. Karmi learned robotics, she defeated Ian, which would make Krei know about her and have a vacancy available after being informed by Judy. Now he is after something in Sycorax, which is from Biotech that Karmi worked! Not to mention I'm a sucker for romance and these two work together with feelings...the stories write themselves. Dude, I hope it's true, I really want to see nerd shenanigans in the lab of these two geniuses.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk! Leave your opinions if you want, I love to hear opinions. Just keep them polite and PG. See you next time, Bye!

#big hero 6 #big hero 6 the series #bh6 the series #bh6 #big hero six #big hero six the series #karmi #hiro hamada #analysis #meta #theory #fanficition

[fandom-sheep]

Eret 11 MAY 21

Cat and DSMP Part 1/1

Cat! Goose!

Goose my beloved.

Eret’s streaming very late for me again. So I’m not staying the whole time.

Hello Elaina. Enjoy Goose.

Fundy! Kinda...

Fundy hearing the donations. LOL.

Fundy enters a stream and it starts to scuffed. Scuffed just follows Fundy wherever he goes.

A wild my beloved on the cube.

The Drista stairs.

Wait what. Why is the tower gone?

I have missed some lore.

Ah... it’s part of the nightmare thing.

Eret offering Fundy housing like a good almost adoptive parent.

Sneeze? OH WOW SNEEZE.

Sounds like Fundy about lost a lung. Good gracious.

The bargaining between these two.

Cat, Handsome, said cube was massive

You know what that works.

It’s hard to keep the audio right for Eret’s stream for my headphones. It’s either too quiet or the loudest my headphones can go and my family can hear it.

On stream explosions. Noice.

Wow youtooz. Not super cool. Permission is usually a good thing.

Eret keeps on sizzling.

Getting dirt for scaffolding. Going old fashioned Minecraft for this.

“Why is the Cube kinda hot” cue Eret losing faith in her chats sanity.

Cube go poof.

Oh. Red stone. That’s dangerous.

I like this song. Oh klahoma. Gorgeous song.

Love joy is such a fun band. I want to make a plushy of the cat.

It’s kinda sad that Eret can’t see themselves the way chat and their little fandom sees them. Most all of us think they look fabulous.

Not Arson. Just bombing. A bit of anarchy by the king.

Demolition. Now there’s the word.

Controlled ish demolition.

Ah I’ve almost saved enough channel points for water. Nice. I’m not going to redeem it I’m just going to keep hoarding the points.

Flame Arrow. Nice.

Eret cleaning up the SMP eye sours.

Watch me attempt to sleep to Eret here in an hour or so, but keep getting distracted.

Explosion time.

Someone get ready to clip it.

Bye Bye Cube. Let’s go.

Gotta get a song that fits the vibe.

Hayloft. Time to go poof.

Turning up my brightness just to watch this explosion in the best way possible.

Still wearing the red dress I see.

I hope the music isn’t too loud to get this part muted.

Drum roll...

Drum roll continues...

Drum roll still going...

THERE GOES THE CUBE!

That was so smooth and good looking!

Overall a very good explosion.

Just a little bit of a hole in the other building.

Twitch Pr-

Poor being’s so confused with his hair. Someone help them.

Twitch bleep.

Everyone attempting to give hair styling advice. Everyone’s trying to help the being.

That bird is majestic. I remember seeing that tiktok.

Animals just decided Eret was the animal whisperer.

Yes! Disney Princess Eret fanart! Someone make it, I shall reblog all of it.

Likes to hug cute animals and cute animals like being hugged by her. Nice.

It’s alright. Names are difficult. I have to like put name tags on people to learn who they are. That or name tags on their space (like on campers bunks and door decs on dorms)

It does feel very February. But I’m very ready for summer because that means I get to do my favorite job.

Hooray. I hit 15k points.

Eret trying to prove to us a ponytail won’t work. Like we aren’t going to hype them up no matter what.

Gotta heart in the chat. All Eret’s chat does is hearts and encourage. It’s a lovely place.

Oh Eret forgot his cat ear sub goal. It’s alright I know I forgot.

Pride is next month. Nice.

Oh. We’re almost halfway already. Why does the world spin so quickly?

We forgot a dirt tower. Whoops.

I would wear Eret merch. I like it when people release merch around Christmas. Then I can ask for it as a gift.

Oh it wasn’t a dirt tower.

Just looking at Elaina’s stream in the stream selection screen it like very cozy.

All the way up the Drista stairs.

Look it’s the museum!

Eret’s got most of the builds around there. The museum. The fortress. Nice.

Some things are too historical to remove. Somethings are historical because they are being removed.

Oh no. L’sandburg.

It’s taking over the summer home.

Ah the lore is coming. It just seemed to be too early.

Hello unofficial ranboo Raiders.

Foolish making the awesome tall thingy!

Foolish’s builds are so neat. I want to watch Foolish’s streams more. Maybe just in the background but I start wanting to delayed liveblog and that requires attention.

Oh the giant portal turned out well. Sorry that was the lady’s foolish stream I watched.

Shulkers. The forbidden mob.

Eret with just a pit in the desert filled with llamas. Bones. And discus.

The mansion has been finished?

Alright is better than bad. It’s alright to be alright.

Lucky being not getting tired. I got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and I was so so tired. I also had just no appetite.

Eret doing an smp tour. And looking at foolish’s builds.

Flickering the switch on the rainbow beacons.

Eret just knowing where everything is.

Kinoko is super pretty. Just for the aesthetic value of the kingdom I appreciate it.

Yeet. Just defenestrated himself out the window.

Oh? Spectator fly over the smp?

That would be really neat to like. Watch in VR. I think I’ve only used VR maybe twice.

Pretty Rainbow beacons.

The nurse who gave me my vaccine hid the needle from me because I mentioned to her that I was afraid of needles. It wasn’t a big deal at all.

30 minutes till I attempt sleep. Woo.

Goose my beloved. Someone make the gif because I’m not quite sure how to make it.

Oh yeah. Goose in Marvel. I hear MCU and think Minecraft cinematic universe. Not marvel.

Ghibli is so nice. It really romanticize small moments of life.

Yeah the characters are all really supportive in Ghibli movies.

Someone subbed for nine months “that’s enough to make a child” -Eret

That mansion is like a maze. I’m so lost already.

Everyone encouraging Eret and telling her she looks pretty. Good.

Eret needs all the hype and encouragement.

Antarctic empties flag. Yeah it does have a similar color pallet.

Michelle! Hello!

Fortress work. Nice.

Do it. I’ll listen the Eret play other games.

I don’t usually watch game play for non Minecraft games. But I’ll listen to it all.

Hbomb and Eret living in the same city feels like two worlds that shouldn’t meet. But it’s awesome that they have.

TOS means against twitches terms of service. Nice. Glad to finally have an explanation of what that means.

Look at our handsome and pretty streamer. All the hype.

I keep turning down the stream to hear the show my mama has on because I’m curious about what happens.

Yeah. Backseat gaming can be annoying. That’s part of why I share my thoughts here just in case I do start backseat gaming.

Almost to the sub goal. Hooray!

Ooo food.

No no. I see where they are coming from. Eret does give a bit of cat bus vibes. I can’t explain it but the vibes are there.

Creeper causing issues at the fortress.

Ed Sheepran my beloved.

I should draw more ferrets. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I’ll draw us doing stuffs.

Actually I kinda want to make a little animatic of some heels walking across the screen followed by a hoard of ferrets. I think it’ll look cool. But I need the artistic ability and the ability to not scream making that.

Woop. Ad time. Off to the void of where ever the ads game me.

OH THE NEW VOID LOOKS COOL!

Bread. Flowers. Ted. Crown. And of course Eret.

We V O I D and get our streamer bits.

Hush the chat is V O I D and the occasional emoji or emote.

The void being centered looks good. Maybe that’s just the symmetry speaking but it’s good.

Oh. We hear the being. The being in void mode. And spooky mode.

Chat just starts yelling corpse.

Hydration. I try to stay hydrated. But I fail often if I’m not doing something active.

Tree!

Casually makes and snags tree.

Eret does read chat often. It’s strange. And it is weird how often it ends up being you.

You can tell I’m a tumblr peep. I may say stuff in chat but I’m fully not expecting or wanting to be noticed by the streamer.

Others hitting darkness o’clock and saying goodnight.

It’s sleep to the stream hours y’all. Whoop.

I need to visit the parks out west. I’ve only really seen the eastern US ones. But I have been to the Great Smokey Mountain park which is gorgeous.

Eret thinking of his friends triggers when naming his cat.

Eret’s builds are so casually pretty. Not like Foolish’s which are intricately pretty. Not like Phil’s or Sam’s which are complicated pretty. All pretty. Just different breeds of pretty.

Alrighty. It’s sleepy hours for me. As much as I love Eret I want to read some fanfiction and daydream a bit before I head to sleep.

Have a good rest everyone and may all your coming meals be delicious.

Wait no is it our turn with goose?

OUR TURN WITH GOOSE!

Eret honey that’s the ceiling.

Cat stream. Cat stream.

Sleepy kitty. A cat cam would be good.

Yeah. That happens with cats. Especially strays.

Goose captured the computer mouse.

Goose straight up chose Eret and Elaina.

Goose really just chose not to leave.

Oh my stream connection is acting sad. But I want Goose content.

I want to draw Goose now.

Maybe I’ll do water color for Goose. I know I tried to do that with Boots (Fundy’s cat)

Hopefully there will be some Goose face screenshots I can see. Maybe I can see him well in the Tiktok.

Artists just violently refusing payment. Sounds about right. The MCYT artists just kinda go “yeah give credit and we cool”

Cowboy cat. Nice.

I want to paint Goose in the cowboy hat.

Hype train! That we are zooming.

Bucket sponge?

WATER BUCKET FROM WET SPONGE! Tiktok people giving all the cool info.

Go Goose. Catch the computer mouse and the screen mouse.

Just sitting here at 11:30 at night getting screen shots of Goose for painting purposes.

Goose please. Look at the camera babe.

My phone is dying. And I can’t charge it and type.

Alright the camera is off the cat. The cat is also blocking the screen.

But no cat on camera means I’m getting some sleep. If I do any of the projects I’ve mentioned I’ll let y’all know.

Have a good rest everyone.

#eret #dream smp #dsmp #dsmp eret #why must this being stream so late #goose the cat #erets cat #delayed liveblogging

[thekillerssluts]

We’ve Got A File On You: Win Butler

In a year when a lot of our plans have been on hold, Win Butler has been busy. In April, the Arcade Fire ringleader let us know that the band had been working on music shortly before lockdown, and then he let us hear some of it. Last week, on the night of the election, the band debuted a new song called “Generation A.” Apparently, Butler was one of the people who found quarantine more inspiring than suffocating. Just a couple weeks ago, he amended his previous hints with the update that he’s written “two or three” Arcade Fire albums thanks to having to stay still all year long.

It seems like there’ll be a whole lot of new Arcade Fire goings-on to parse sometime on the horizon, but that isn’t the reason Butler and I got on the phone one recent October afternoon. Butler’s not quite ready to talk about forthcoming music yet, aside from saying this era of writing gives him flashbacks to that which preceded The Suburbs and promising “The new shit is about some of the best shit we’ve ever done” as we say goodbye.

In the meantime, there have been some milestones this year: The Suburbs turned 10; Butler turned 40. There is, of course, a whole lot of rich Arcade Fire history between their early ’00s origins and now. There are too many high-profile collabs to dig through, too many pop culture crossovers to cover, in just one conversation. But before Arcade Fire’s next chapter begins, while we both had a moment of quiet at home in the year 2020, Butler and I took some time to dig back through highlights and surprises from across his career.

Appearing In Bill & Ted Face The Music (2020)

How did this happen?

WIN BUTLER: They were filming in New Orleans. I’m kind of the exact age where Bill & Ted really has a soft spot in my worldview. [Laughs] That was just like, yeah, of course I want to be in the Future Council. That’s the part I was born to play. No, it’s funny, it was just one of these random things that come through the email. Usually, it’s, “Nope, nope, nope, nope.” But this was, “Tell me when, tell me where, I’ll be there.” It was on soundstages. When we were filming it, Tommy Lee from Mötley Crüe was back there, and he sort of disappeared at some point. I got to bring my son, who’s six. He was hanging out and we were talking to Keanu about Canada and punk bands back in the day. It was a pretty sweet hang. It was a bright spot in 2020, let me put it that way.

You say you get these emails — is that random stuff they want Arcade Fire to do, or there’ve been other cameos you turned down?

BUTLER: Oh, no, it’s mostly random licensing or stuff that goes to the junk box. But every once in a while, it’s like, “Hey, that sounds like a nice way to spend the day.” I started out in film. I went to Sarah Lawrence College in New York around 2000. I had really wanted to go to film school, and I could never get in. [Laughs] Initially, the song “The Suburbs” was an idea I had for a film and it seemed easier to make a song than a film.

The Suburbs (2010)

That was a convenient segue. The Suburbs just turned 10. I was wondering if you have gone back and revisited it much amidst that anniversary.

BUTLER: The whole experience of Funeral was such a rollercoaster. We were on the road so long. We didn’t have much of a break going into the second record. For The Suburbs, Régine and I — I don’t think we saw anyone for a year straight before we even started demoing or anything for that record.

It was a time in my life… I don’t know, I was in my late twenties, and there were all these details of my childhood in Houston. You know, I moved to Canada when I was 19. [Houston] almost felt like this other life I had. I would close my eyes and imagine riding my bike through town and trying to find the edges of my memory. There was kind of all this emotion that came up through that, and I wanted to capture it. It’s funny, as a songwriter, most of the time I feel like my mind is living in the near future. You’re listening for these little signals in the air. This was almost inhabiting the emotional space of these memories but thinking about it as the future.

When you say it like that, I’m curious if the album feels different to you now that you’re a father yourself and another 10 years down the line. Like another layer to that refracted youth, sort of?

BUTLER: Totally. In a way, I feel like the last year has been a parallel to that year before The Suburbs. Then I was kind of a hermit by choice, and this has more been the world conspiring to make me a hermit, but it has been a really introspective. In a sense, the material that we’ve been working on feels the same way, this hybrid of your emotional landscape and the future.

It’s almost seasonal, like a trade wind that blows in once in a while. I remember we played with Neil Young when he was still doing the Bridge School Benefit and hearing him sing “Old Man” as an old man, almost like he wrote the song when he was 22 to sing when he was 80. I think there’s an element on that Suburbs record that’s like that as well.

Winning The Grammy For Album Of The Year (2011)

Obviously that was a huge turning point for Arcade Fire because you won the Grammy the following year. As a suburban indie fan at the time, I had no real grasp on how big certain bands were. From where I was, it was pretty trippy that you guys won that.

BUTLER: I mean, tell me about it. It was definitely pretty trippy.

There are very, very early moments of you guys getting linked up with some iconic artists. Arcade Fire got plenty of respect from the beginning. But at the same time, the Grammys is something different. That’s a moment of mainstream insurgency. Ten years on, you’re one of the big indie bands of your generation, but also one of the only rock bands to get to that level in recent times.

BUTLER: I don’t know it was the best record that year, but it was definitely the best record nominated that year. I mean, we were up against a Lady Gaga remix record and like, Katy Perry. We weren’t up against a great Eminem record, we were up against a not-that-great Eminem record. In a certain sense, I was like, “Well, I think we should win.” [Laughs] I think we had the best record.

I remember in high school Radiohead and Björk were the two [new artists I loved]. I bought The Bends the day it came out, I bought Homogenic the day it came out. And then everything else I listened to was artists that had broken up 20 years earlier. I remember watching the Grammys the year OK Computer was nominated and it didn’t win, and I was just like, “Oh, that thing must not mean anything then.” I remember Dylan won, and it’s a really great Dylan record, but objectively OK Computer was the best record. So if that didn’t win, then what the hell does that thing mean? After that, I didn’t think about the Grammys that much. It wasn’t on my list of my dreams of my career and what I could accomplish and what I wanted to do.

For me, I was looking more at a band like the Cure or New Order, these bands that were really just artistic entities but you would hear them at a pharmacy once in a while. Like, I’d hear “Bizarre Love Triangle” come on in the pharmacy in Houston and just be like, “Is this from outer space? What the fuck is this?” My dreams for our band was to do for other people what those bands did for me, which was just throw me a fucking lifeline. Because I was just like, “What is this world, and where are my people, and how can I feel OK existing?” My grandfather played in big bands and played with Louis Armstrong, and he bought me a guitar when I was 15. I held on to that thing — if I didn’t have that I don’t think I would’ve made it out of high school. It literally saved my life. I don’t think I could exist without that.

For me, the Grammy thing was strangely moving. Even up until the moment we won, I just felt like an interloper. Even when we won, people looked at us like aliens. Like, “Who? What?” You know, I’m a competitive person. It was really exciting. Cool, awesome, the universe makes sense for one second. It’s interesting, I didn’t expect it to mean anything until we won, and then it meant something.

David Bowie (2005, 2013, Throughout)

I alluded to this earlier but: The Grammys were like an industry stamp of approval. From the beginning, however, you guys were embraced by a lot of elder artists — particularly artists who were influences on the band. One I wanted to talk about was David Bowie. He was a very early supporter; you performed together in 2005, which turned into a live EP. Then he shows up on “Reflektor” in 2013. Somewhere around 2015, you talked about how you’d come to regard him as this professor-type character in your life. He came to your first New York show, right?

BUTLER: Our first headlining show, when we played at the Bowery, Bowie and David Byrne came to that show.

Wow, no pressure huh.

BUTLER: It sort of set the table. Like, “Well, I guess this is how it’s going to be right out of the gate.” [Laughs] It’s funny, I have a photo of David in my studio that I look at when I’m working sometimes. It’s just him in a dressing room with one of those kind of Hollywood mirrors behind him. He really… I don’t know, he felt some sort of spiritual connection with us. It wasn’t like he wanted anything from us. I just think he wanted to say, “Hey guys, you’re going on the right path, keep going.”

I was emailing him over all those years. I don’t know if you have anyone close to you that’s died and you go back and read those emails, it’s really these strange digital fragments of someone you care about. After he sang on “Reflektor,” Régine and I bought him a painting in Haiti as a thank you gift. We were supposed to mail it to him and we got busy and forgot about it, and in the interim he passed. I knew he wasn’t well, but I didn’t know he was dying. Maybe a couple months later I remembered the painting and I dug it out and it was a painting of a black star. A voodoo painting of a black star with rays coming out of it.

I didn’t know anything about his record being Blackstar or anything like that. Now it’s on the wall of my bedroom. Shit like that sometimes happens in my life. I take it for what it is. I don’t know exactly what that means and I just feel grateful… I don’t know man. Even just how inspiring, what he put into his art even in death. He’s someone I think about at least on a weekly basis.

Backing Up Mick Jagger On SNL (2012), Playing With The Rolling Stones (2013)

Obviously that was an ongoing relationship, and you’ve worked with David Byrne too, and you referenced playing with Neil Young. Still: Being onstage with the Rolling Stones seems particularly daunting.

BUTLER: We were Mick’s backing band on SNL. SNL is maybe one of my favorite American institutions. I don’t know if it’s the Canadian thing since Lorne [Michaels] is Canadian. The first time we did it, it was just like, “This dude is my friend.” I don’t know if Lorne’s kids like Arcade Fire or something. But I was in New York randomly and he was like, “Mick’s doing a thing,” and I said, “We do a pretty amazing cover of ‘The Last Time,’” and he said “Come on down, let’s do it.” Then we’re Mick’s backing band. I don’t know, pretty fucking cool.

What is Mick Jagger like to work with?

BUTLER: Mick is like: As soon as the light goes on, he’s a different person. When he turns it on, it’s like this muscle memory — like if you were with the greatest ballet dancer ever, and you say go and this energy comes out of him that is so practiced. It’s someone who’s an absolute master, after practicing something for decades and decades and decades. That was pretty amazing to see. You’re chatting with someone, we’re at the piano and we’re talking about an arrangement, “OK, let’s do a run,” and then, “Boom! Shit!” There he is.

It’s this other level. I feel like people at that level, music’s not something they’re fucking around with. [Laughs] Music is a spirit. You hear something, and if it strikes a chord with you, it connects something at your deepest core. People like that, when you see them do their thing, it really is this other plane. It’s not this show thing. It’s more of a possession. You can hear it in the music.

I feel like I’ve listened to more music during COVID than any time since I was like, 18. I had this moment when I was listening to these amazing records from the 1950s. You can hear the room. It’s almost like audio VR — you can hear the drummer here and the bass player over here. There’s a sense of space, particularly to that older music. It’s a snapshot. If you hear “La Bamba,” right now, that is what it is. It’s a spirit captured on vinyl, on a piece of tape. It’s alive within that.

With people like Mick, they’re a little bit closer to the spirit of rock ’n’ roll — a literal spirit, not a figurative spirit. Bowie was the same. When he played with us in Central Park, the second he hit the stage he’s illuminated. You’re like, “Oh, shit, that’s what it is.” He’s a human when you’re talking to him and as soon as he’s in it, he’s touched by another thing.

SNL (2007-Present)

I’m glad you brought SNL up, because you’ve been on it a bunch of times, but you’re also one of the musical acts they’ve brought into skits. Like, they actually wrote a game show around you. How does that work? Did they write that sketch with you guys, or you walked in and they’re like, “Hey, by the way…”

BUTLER: I can’t remember, I think we’ve been six or seven times. We’ve been there for a couple different casts at this point. The Lonely Island dudes, those are so my dudes. In another life, I would’ve been in Lonely Island, that would’ve been my dream to just fuck around with my friends; when we were first writing music we were kinda joking around because you’re too insecure to try. A lot of times [at SNL], we’ve played for the staff when we’re there, because you get so fired up to play one or two songs and you’re playing live so your endorphins are running so we just sort of keep playing afterwards. I feel like they appreciate that, it kinda feels like you’re on the same team or something.

I was backstage at SNL once last year, and it is pretty crazy to see it all from the inside like that.

BUTLER: It’s so crazy. They write it all that fucking week, and then to see the differences between the dress rehearsal and the live show. They do a little meeting in Lorne’s office. They’ve done the dress rehearsal and it’s still this tiny office and every cameraman and every cast member is crammed in this little office and Lorne’s like, “Make it a blue light instead of a green light at minute 23, and change this word to this word, I don’t think that’s funny, change that, OK, go,” and everyone’s got pencils writing this down. It’s still fucking that. And you know, it hits and misses sometimes, but they’re doing it.

How long did you have to work on your De Niro impression for that skit?

BUTLER: It’s actually more of a Billy Baldwin impersonation, but it seemed to work for De Niro as well. [Laughs] My only real impression is I can look exactly like Billy Baldwin if I want to. If there’s any casting directors reading this and you need a Billy Baldwin impersonator, I’m your man.

LCD Soundsystem’s Goodbye Show (2011)

You’re the one who ended up serendipitously coining the title of the live album.

BUTLER: [Laughs] That is true. That was genuine. He was being a little talky.

I moved to New York before I moved to Montreal, and I would go to the city and go to shows and I didn’t see one fucking thing that was good in the whole year. I was like, “Wait, I thought New York was the shit, where is it?” All I saw was bad, very industry bands. I couldn’t find anything, I wasn’t cool enough to figure out what was going on. There’s very few bands that I really think of, like bands of my generation where I heard them and thought “These are my people.” For me it was the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, LCD, and Wolf Parade. When I heard those bands, I thought, “These are my fellow pilgrims.” It was art, DIY, no bullshit, just trying to make something great that communicates to people. It’s real and emotional.

James is really just one of us. He’s just such a great engineer and really into the way things sound and really passionate about details. It’s rare to meet people like that. James was working with us when Bowie came in, when we were in Electric Lady. James had never met Bowie before. The first 7” he ever bought was “Fame.” We’re in this studio, and the last time Bowie was there he had cut “Fame” with John Lennon, in the same studio. We were all like, “This is the right place to be.”

James is just a man after my own heart. We did a tour with them on Neon Bible. We were playing to a thousand people in Salt Like City and I was like, “Man, in a couple years a lot more people are going to wish they were at this show.” What a fucking great live band.

Scoring Her (2013)

What kind of headspace did you have to get into for this vs. making an album?

BUTLER: Spike [Jonze] came to a bunch of our early shows on Funeral. The second I met him he was just immediately one of my best friends. He thinks about the world the same way. Even though we work in different mediums he was someone I knew I’d be working with in some capacity. I was visiting LA and I was staying with Spike just randomly one time, in the early days of him working on the script for Her. I was reading the script and immediately thinking about how it could sound, and I was like, “Well, we should fucking do the score to this movie.”

When you’re working on a record, it’s so rigid, what works on a song and what doesn’t work on a song. It can be so limiting in a way. Within the band, there’s so many different talents and color palettes and things people bring to the table, so it was cool to do something where the boss is the picture. It doesn’t matter how anyone feels about a piece, if it’s working for Spike, if it’s working in harmony with the picture, that’s what the boss is — the emotionality of the picture. It’s not about you, it’s in service to this bigger thing. It was a cool opportunity for all of us to use different aspects of things we do, and to work with Owen [Pallett], who had done a lot of strings on our records. It uses a totally different part of your brain.

Do you want to do more of that kind of work, or was it this specific story from Spike that spoke to you?

BUTLER: I can say pretty confidently that I’ll work with Spike in the future. It definitely takes a lot of energy. It’s definitely something I’m interested in, but I feel like while I’ve got the juice it’s good to spend as much energy writing songs as we can. It’s pretty fucking hard to make a record, believe it or not.

Future’s “Might As Well” Sampling “Owl” From Her(2017)

Are you a big Future fan?

BUTLER: I love Future. There’s something in the rhythm of the thing he does that actually reminds me of some music from Haiti, in this really deep, subtle way I can’t put my finger on. There’s something almost mystical in the way he sounds, and I thought that was really cool that they sampled that soundtrack. His shit does sound like the future still. I think it’s pretty special.

The Reach Of ”Wake Up” (2004-Present)

This song has had this big pop-culture reach over the years. U2 used it as their walk-on music in the ‘00s. It was used in the trailer for another Spike movie, Where The Wild Things Are. Macy Gray and John Legend both covered it. Microsoft ripped it off for a commercial. It was used in a commercial for LA’s bid for the Olympics.

BUTLER: That Microsoft money went to Haiti, by the way. They did rip it off. [Laughs] Thank you Microsoft.

As far as I know that’s far from an exhaustive list, too. It’s just one of those songs that’s gone out and become a part of the atmosphere. Even a lot of big bands don’t necessarily have a song like that. What do you think it is about “Wake Up” that’s registered in so many different contexts?

BUTLER: From the time we wrote that song to now, the biggest difference in my life is I’ve traveled the world and I’ve been able to play music in all these different cultures and feel the ways different countries feel music. Not only listening to the music in other countries but seeing how they feel the music I play.

I remember around The Suburbs we played in rural Haiti. It was our first time playing in a place where nobody in the audience had any of the reference points of the music we played. We were playing in the mountains, there were people walking in barefoot to the concert. We were playing these songs we had been touring the world with, and the energy from the crowd was so different. The things they responded to, the things they felt, it actually fundamentally changed the way I heard my own music. It made me start to think about music not just from my own perspective but culturally how people hear it and feel it.

I think the one thing that kind of transcends everything across all cultures is melody. Régine was playing that melody on piano in our rehearsal room. I hear it like it was yesterday. It was like, “That’s the shit.” [Laughs] Being present and being in the room, hearing something and really giving yourself to it, just singing that shit like it really meant it and feeling the power of that melody and trying to push it until it breaks. That’s something I think about, just how great it is to have people to play music with. To say it like you mean it.

I remember singing that song in Montreal, in these lofts. Most of our early fans, the first time we played that song, they were like “Fuck this shit, I want the acoustic shit.” People were so negative. I remember a lot of early fans didn’t come to our shows after that because we were suddenly screaming at the top of our lungs and playing electric guitars. It was like, “Everyone here hates this, that means we must be going in the right direction.” [Laughs] But yeah, don’t be discouraged if people hate something. It doesn’t mean shit.

https://www.stereogum.com/2105395/win-butler-interview-spike-jonze-arcade-fire-snl-mick-jagger-david-bowie/interviews/weve-got-a-file-on-you/

#Arcade Fire #Win Butler #interview

[heavencollins]

Top 10 Films of 2020: Part Two

And the last five of my top ten are...

5: Unpregnant, directed by Rachel Goldenberg and written by Rachel Goldenberg, Jennifer Kaytin Robinson, Jenni Hendriks, Ted Caplan, and Bill Parker.

This HBO Max Original was the tipping point for me actually purchasing HBO Max, and I haven’t regretted it since.  Starring two absolute queens, Barbie Ferriera and Haley Lu Richardson, Unpregnant tells the story of a teenage girl who finds herself in a situation she wants nothing to do with: pregnancy.  Her boyfriend informs her that the condom broke a few weeks ago but he didn’t tell her, which is fucked up in it’s own right, but that they should keep the baby and raise it and get married.  Veronica, played by Richardson, quickly says no and runs to her old friend’s house; Bailey, played by Ferriera.  Veronica learned that you cannot access abortions in her state without parental consent, so she makes a plan to roadtrip to New Mexico from Missouri to get an abortion that should be a human right.

Veronica and Bailey have been estranged for years, as Veronica became popular and Bailey fell into the realm of introvert, pothead, and nerd.  But Bailey misses their friendship, and says yes to going on this road trip because she knows they’ll have time to grow close again.  Throughout the road trip, the girls reminisce and become closer than they have before; Bailey revealing her sexuality, Veronica facing the reality of her shitty relationship and not-great friends, and the fact that chosen family is often better than real family.  

The film is aggressively pro-choice and feminist, but also is a feel-great movie, not just good, but great.  it made me both laugh and cry, as well as cheer on both characters.  There’s a lot of really, really, really wholesome narrative within this and it’s a film targeted at teens for teens.  It shows what a healthy relationship is and that no matter how different your best friend is from you, you’ll still have the same connection as always.  I love this one.  

4: Saint Frances, directed by Alex Thompson and written by Kelly O’Sullivan.

One of my favorite facts about this film is that the lead star wrote it, and she works as a team with the director, Alex Thompson, and is partners with him in life as well.  Saint Frances focuses on a 30-something woman named Bridget who finds herself with no set path in life.  She’s childless, sleeping around, has no real career other than waitressing, and doesn’t know what she wants to do with herself.  Her friend recommends her as a nanny to a lesbian couple around her age who are having their second kid and need help with their six year old daughter, Frances.  

Shortly before starting her job as Frances’ nanny, Bridget undergoes an abortion via pill, which means you bleed in the safety of your home and get to do it outside of the medical appointment.  This plays heavily into the plot, as her periods end up being heavier than ever throughout the rest of the film and it becomes a slight joke between all of the characters.  It also shows how little Bridget really cares for her own health, as she doesn’t think to go to the doctors at all and that it’s totally normal.  

Frances helps Bridget grow up, as well as bringing her two mom’s together after the birth mother of the newborn suffers from extreme post-partum depression.  Bridget and Frances end up becoming best friends, and it’s a truly touching film that feels like a home, if that makes sense.  I could watch this again and again and never get sick of it.  O’Sullivan and Thompson are a fantastic writer-director team.

3: Shirley, directed by Josephine Decker and written by Sarah Gubbins and Susan Scarf Merrell.

A movie about one of the greatest horror novelists and short story writers of all time set in Vermont starring Elisabeth Moss?  Alright, I’m in.  Shirley held very tightly in the number one spot until just this month, because it was that good.  Moss plays Shirley Jackson, the horror writer we all know and love, and there’s something haunting about her.

While the story is highly fictionalized, with two characters being completely made up (the young couple played by Odessa Young and Logan Lerman), the film takes place right after Jackson published The Lottery and as she’s writing her next novel.  Her husband, Stanley Hyman (played by Michael Stuhlbarg), is a professor at Bennington College and Jackson finds herself shying away from the stereotypical role of a faculty wife.  She’s aloof, callous, straight up rude to the other wives and prefers to spend her time alone in her room, writing.  Hyman prefers to cheat on her with younger woman and yell at Jackson for not being more social.  This is most likely true to real life.

The young couple work as a mirror for Jackson, people she can project her novel onto and try to see how it will play out.  It’s reflective of her writing style.  This story is told with lavish cinematography and a score that reminds you of wind whipping between the trees, one of the best scores I’ve ever heard, actually, and it’s just lovely.  Despite being mainly fictionalized with some truth sprinkled in, it’s by far Decker’s most palatable work for a wide audience (though I loved Madeline’s Madeline).  I highly recommend this one to anyone.

2. Never Rarely Sometimes Always, directed and written by Eliza Hittman.

I’ve loved every single film that Hittman has put out, but this one is especially poignant in the current political climate.  Abortions should be widely available, but sadly they aren’t and often teenagers have to travel to other state’s to have to have their procedure done without putting themselves in danger by telling their parents.  

In Never Rarely Sometimes Always, two cousins go on a trip to New York City to procure an abortion procedure, not informing their parents beforehand.  Except nothing goes to plan; they end up having to sleep in strange places, use all of their savings, and even steal portions of money from the grocery store they both work at.  This film is quiet, sad, and real.  

Perhaps the best scene in this is when the title comes into play.  Anybody who has been to a physical appointment knows the questions they ask, but it’s especially nerve wracking when your body is at risk for something.  The nurse asks questions, stating never, rarely, sometimes, or always after each.  Skylar, played by Talia Ryder, starts to hesitate as the questions get more and more personal.  And then she finally breaks down.  It’s overwhelming and scary and she’s finally vulnerable for the first time in this entire movie.  

While Unpregnant and Saint Frances provide more witty and funny tales about abortion and unwanted pregnancies, Never Rarely Sometimes Always gives a dark and gritty tale of what having no help in those situations can look like, ultimately putting yourself in the most dangerous situations possible to make the right choice for yourself.  

1: Swallow, directed and written by Carlo Mirabella-Davis.

I don’t want to say much of this film because it’s something you truly have to experience.  Hunter, a woman who finds herself pregnant with her rich husband’s child, finds herself having what can only be called abnormal food cravings.  Except, what she eats isn’t necessarily food—she suffers from an extreme form of pica, causing her to eat everything from marbles to staples to little figurines.  She proudly displays her collection on her desk, cleaning them off meticulously once she passes them.  It’s a horror film but the horror isn’t necessarily in what she eats, it’s how she’s treated.

In fact, her eating habits are the one thing she has control over in her life until even that’s taken away from her.  Her husband’s family doesn’t care about her—only the fetus she’s carrying.  It’s a really good representation of an abusive husband that you don’t often see, because none of the abuse is physical, rather, emotional.  

I can’t say anymore because then I’d be spoiling—all I have to say is go watch it.  Please.  It’s so amazing. 

#films #top ten #2020 #swallow #never rarely sometimes always #eliza hittman #unpregnant #saint frances #shirley #elisabeth moss #film review #review

[imasimpforstevengrant]

Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

#joker movie #the joker #joker film #joker 2019 #2019 joker #joker joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix #joaquin is so hot omg #dcedit #dc comics #he's so beautiful #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck #Arthur Fleck is I C O N I C #clown daddy #why do i like this clown so much? #i love this clown so much #hes baby #hes so pretty #omg hes so cute #protecc him plz #plz protecc #plz hug him #lol sorry #i had to #this movie gives me life #this man will be the death of me #i can't get enough of this dude #i can't get enough of this babe #arthur fleck x reader

[ihatespinosaurus]

Thank you Mr. Eddie Perfect

Here are all of my thoughts on all of the demos as I listen to them for the first time instead of doing my homework. Nobody asked for this, I know.

The whole being dead thing: Love it. My absolute favourite line which I don’t think they should have thrown out is “Try to think of me as lube for the hole -uh-the whole being dead thing”. 

Death’s not Great. christmas? carol of the bells. long and not funny. kinda depressing. so a good song but not a bop obvs

The hole: religion really did go to town. i think BJ’s songs should be slightly more chaotic. i guess this is the original monologue? 

Gotta get out of this house: kinda funny. barbara 2.0? i actually like this so much. image me as Kirsten Dunst in ‘Bring it on’ when she’s dancing in her room listening to the mixtape the boy gave her. 

Dead mom orig: impale him through the heart. morbid. perfect for the lydia who would scare everyone who came to her house

Mama would: loved this from the beetleball. Soooo catchy. groovy. I think Sophia Anne Caruso has such a good voice for this type of groove music

Sign yourself over to me: okay not the best representation of the Charles I built in my head. but kinda super catchy. “Take this ivory civil war era slave owner’s pen...” o.k.

Delia’s TED Talk: Poor Delia. Delia opening up about the possible worst moment of her life to help Lydia yes pls. Then Charles opening the literal and metaphorical door to Delia. Fun fact: the street I grew up on was called Delia. 

No Reason: I love when Mr Perfect is trying to be Lydia. Hilarious. I heard it in the workshop. I like the Tupperware verse. lydia giving some low blows and so chaotic in this. love it

Fright of their lives: uhm Adam swore! i liked how bj said the soliloquy line

Say My Name: slower than the orig. heard in workshop. sorry i love the ‘okay what’s your name’ “whats my name?” kinda like how when the Maitlands are possessed they address Lydia directly. gives it an extra creepy vibe.

You can only work with what you get: love them. omg. they’re so evil. honestly how me and my bff talk. the meaner you are the more you care. “Like a virus in a sauna” ouch. BEST EVIL SIBLINGS EVER

Step right up: nod to the film? like when he does the circus thing? another duet. i love the duets

A little more of your time: hold on. hoLd ON. okay hold on. ok. super sad jeez. can we PLS stop sleeping on charles. he has emotions too :’( 

The Children We didn’t have: :”’’’’’’((((((

What’s left: somehow more majestic than barbara 2.0. like hell yessir and yesum. march to battle

Barbara 2.0: what can I say? just as catchy as the orig. probably one of my fav songs on the album

The Box: okay strong backstreet boys vibe which is not something I associate with Otho. (more like Oh th no). 

I am very good at running cults: okay not a Backstreet boys vibe but i dont know the vibe. kinda feels more evil. i can see Abe and Eric (that one time) singing this but not Kelvin or Will Blum. 

Mixed it up together: not as chaotic as I picture BJ should be here. honestly, i didnt feel it was up to par with the other songs. 

Everything is kinda meh: can I just say that I listen to this on youtube about 5 times a week. this song is NOT kinda meh

What I know Now: i like listening to Mr Perfect sing the songs even if they arent changed a lot from the orig album. “I was anti-vax now I’m dead” AHHHHikgntglksn

Goodbye Emily Deetz: from beetleball with Dana. kinda makes me cry for some reason. am I experiencing emotions? I’m just so happy for Lydia. 

Ain’t It Strange: Mr Perfect you sang this at the Beetleball! Pomp and Circumstance. good wrap up song. makes me feel content. NO YOU’RE A TEENAGER! (yes guys Lydia is just a teenager. yes. but also all teenagers are assholes imo). OKAY WAIT they say his names 3 times at the end. they do it. like all the fanfics. they all live together happily every after. omg

That’s all. Thanks for reading. Mr Eddie Perfect started this when I was starting uni and now i’m starting grad school. wack

#Beetlejuice the musical #bj:tmtmtm #thank you Mr Eddie Perfect #BEETLEB*BES DNI #This is enough serotonin for at least a week! #Demos #beetlejuice: the demos the demos the demos #bj:tdtdtd?

[voglioungufoartsblog]

A brief explanation on why ObiNaru became OTP, just the key points:

I could give a lecture on why and sooner or later I'll do it with lots of screenshots of the manga, but it's not the right time.

First of all I beg to disagree with those who consider them too equal: they weren't even when they were (Naruto to capture attention was foolish, Obito helped old ladies or anyone in need) and then it is clear that they take two opposite paths, both are what the other could have been if their heart had been different, Naruto continues to get strong and keep making his way even in a horrible way to change it, Obito turns his back on this world to bring him to almost destruction. Naruto clings to his identity, Obito abandons him. And these are just some of the many examples I can give, which lead to one of my favorite tropes: inverted mirror relationships.

We also come to another of my favorite tropes: enemies to lovers. Obviously at the beginning they are two enemies who hate each other, even Naruto the Saint clearly hates him to death, especially when he wears the mask, he is really keen on wanting to break that mask; on the other hand Obito is exasperated by Naruto who ruined all his plans, just blew his manipulation on Nagato in his face and how dare he?

It must also be said that Obito is the one who becomes more aware, who realizes the affinities they have and for this reason he tries to "convince him" to go to his side in every way (the part in which he holds out his hand after the death of Neji) and even Kakashi realizes it, Obito is looking for something inside Naruto, when he could just fight and maybe solve the situation faster he stops to "test" Naruto. Instead Naruto ... my god, the part when they extract the chakra from Juubito and, as good expert ninja, they can read themselves in their hearts 😭 Naruto cries on feeling Obito's emotions, so much so that Kurama must warn him not to get involved , but imagine if Naruto listens to him and suddenly puts aside all hatred to accept Obito and tries to convince him to go back to their side (Naruto holding out his hand !!!!) I could spend hours on that part, like the fact that Naruto's determination reminds Obito of the love of his life asdfghjk but the fact is that he eventually surrenders to Naruto and abandons a 17-year plan to totally rely on him, literally Naruto becomes the light that Rin was before AND THEN WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ASDFGHJKL

Here we come to a third trope: "Allow me to die (for you)"

I live by angst, you know, and seeing in those relationships where one is literally willing to give his life away for the other destroys me with feels. In this case Obito has abandoned everything he believed in for Naruto and it is obvious that he is willing to do anything to preserve that light and that's what he obviously does, sacrificing himself in place of Naruto AND Kakashi (because let's not forget the feelings of guilt, that poor fellow is convinced he can redeem himself only by dying to save a comrade, as it should have been from the beginning) and then we have that heartbreaking scene that leads us to

Fourth trope: "I feel the hole in my heart starting to fill".

The part where Obito yells at Kakashi that he doesn't have a heart anymore became a meme, so I don't even have to remember it. Obito, I'll be repetitive, he subscribed everything from his identity to his heart. In 17 years NOTHING has been able to change this, Naruto has succeeded in one night. Naruto felt the need so much to reach Obito, the real Obito, once their chakras were discounted that he made Naruto "return" a heart, all his dreams, wishes, who he was ... let's think for a moment what a shock of sudden feelings it must have been? And this is another trope that I love in romantic stories: a character who is dead inside who starts loving again thanks to another who managed to reach him in the part that he kept most hidden aaaaaaa

And on this I want to make a small parenthesis that is not a trope: "Thank you".

Just before he died Obito thanks Naruto, and honestly if the SasuSaku were canonized because a thirteen year old Sasuke thanked a thirteen year old Sakura just before knocking her out I don't understand why ObiNaru no I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER.

In any case.

Some time ago I cried when I read that the Japanese are shy enough and reserved that they can't say "I love you" to their other half, so they use other tricks to make it understandable. One of the most significant is precisely to thank the other, because you are thanked for having them in your life, for the love he makes you feel, for everything they do for him and for the joy they share, etc. etc. And I am convinced that Obito meant this meaning. Otherwise I can't explain the shocks Naruto and Kakashi feel as soon as he says it. And why else be so surprised? I mean, it's not strange, he just sacrificed his life for Naruto's, obviously he must feel attached to him and in debt for things. So why show the surprise, why does Kishimoto want to show it was an unexpected sentence?

You obviously know the answer.

Finally, the fifth trope: being destined to meet.

I love when the path of two characters is "destined" to meet, when there is the inevitable, their destinies end up crossing without necessarily wanting it. And I'm not meaning that in the sense that like Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki, Obito would obviously have been chasing Naruto. No, I'm talking about Minato. When Minato seals the fox inside Naruto he knows nothing of the masked man, who he is, what his plans are and what he will do in the future. But he knows that the only one who can stop him is his son, Naruto, and he seals the fox in him to give him the tools to counter him. Minato destines Naruto to be the person who can stop Obito. Because his father had this feeling, he knew it and had no doubts that only Naruto could do it.

I was joking, I'm not done with the tropes, there is another one: I see in you the lover of my past.

And I'm not just talking about Naruto reminding Obito of Rin, but about when Obito was playing Madara. Now, I have this idea that for better or worse now Madara's will is ingrained in Obito as a part of him, even when he abandons the plan. He rejects being Madara, but inevitably a part remains, it is now in his character. But. When he is still Madara and meets Naruto curious to see the guy who convinced Nagato to betray him, he immediately recognizes Hashirama's will in him and we know that Madara and Hashirama had a not very straight relationship ... so ...

In conclusion: I ship them with the power of hyperuranium

Thanks for coming to my ted talks

#naruto #naruto shippuden #Obinaru #naruobi #Obito #Obito x Naruto #obito x naruto #naruto yaoi #uzumaki naruto #Naruto rant #Yaoi #naruto shipping #Shipping #Slash #Fangirl

[matrixaffiliate]

Endeavor

Chapter Update! FFN and AO3

Chapters 8-14 are Vic's POV, and I promise these chapters are where the fun Tedoire scenes are going to come. Fluff is in sight friends! Our next chapter goes up on September 12th. =)

Chapter 8 

Victoire sat on her bed with her knees up against her chest. She didn't know what else to do.

"Vicky," Dominique stuck her head in. "Maman says it's time for dinner."

"I'll be there in a minute," Vic nodded.

"For someone who just got engaged, you're not as happy as I thought you'd be." Dom leant against the door frame.

"I'm having a rough day is all."

"More like a rough two weeks," Dom flipped her braid over her shoulder. "I still don't understand why you quit working with Uncle Ron."

"I just wanted something more in line with what I want to do." Vic pulled her knees closer to her.

"And what is that?"

Vic dropped her head to her knees. "Nevermind, tell Maman I'm not hungry."

Dom shrugged, "She'll probably come up here then, just warning you."

"Thanks, Dom, I'll take my chances," Vic muttered into her knees.

Vic heard her sister walking down the stairs but surprisingly, she didn't hear her mum coming up.

It was just as well, how would she ever explain to her mum that she'd kissed Ted when she'd just agreed to marry Sean a month earlier? And how would she say how hard it had been not to kiss Ted again? How she'd melted into him? How she still thought about kissing him? How tempting it was to call off her engagement and go running after him?

Vic hoped she would never need to explain it all, but once dinner was done, Fleur wasted no time confronting her daughter.

"Two weeks, ma chérie, two weeks," Vic felt her mum sit down at the foot of her bed. "Pourquoi?"

Vic shook her head against her knees, "I'm just having a rough go of it."

"No," Vic felt her mum shift on the bed, and then her mum's arms were around her shoulders, "No, there is something more, Je le sais."

Vic swallowed hard against the tears that she'd been fighting since Ted had walked away from her for the last time.

"Dîtes-Moi, ma chérie, you'll see, it will all feel a bit better if you do."

"Oh, Maman," Vic felt the tears press through her closed eyes.

"Je t'ai eu, ma chérie," Her mum pulled her closer.

Vic clung to her mum and gave in to the tears. She'd managed to keep them at bay for two weeks. She'd distracted herself by pretending to plan her wedding and pretending to look for a new job. But she couldn't hold them back any longer, and her heartache over everything was suffocating.

"I'm a terrible person!" Vic finally managed to get something other than her hiccuped breathing out.

"No, no, you are not," Fleur brushed Vic's hair back from her forehead. "Why do you say such things?"

"I, I kissed," the words were lodged in her throat and she didn't think she could push past them.

"You kissed?"

Vic felt her chest trying to cave in on itself, trying to create a black hole to suck her into.

"I kissed him, I kissed Ted."

"Ah," Fleur squeezed her arms a little tighter around Vic. "And this is why you turned down Ron when he wanted to make you a part of the new business?"

Vic nodded as the tears returned full force.

"Have you told Sean?"

Vic shook her head violently, "I can't! He'll be so mad!"

Vic felt her mum draw in a long breath and let it out slowly. "Do you know why you kissed Ted?"

"He," Vic bit her lip, "He told me that he loved me, that he'd fallen in love with me over the six months of working together. And I just, when he leant in, Maman I wanted him to kiss me."

She started sobbing again. What was wrong with her? She was in love with Sean...wasn't she?

"What did you say when he said he loved you?" Fleur ran her fingers through Vic's hair, trying to soothe her.

"I didn't know what to say!" Vic cried. "I just kept telling him he was my best friend!"

"Sean is not your best friend?"

Vic shook her head.

Fleur pursed her lips, "Vicky, you know I love you, but if Sean is not your best friend, why are you marrying him?"

"Because, because, I, I guess, I mean, I said yes when he asked..."

"And the boy can't be bothered to set a date to marry you," Fleur's voice had gone hard.

"I, I," Vic's voice cracked and she gave in to the sobs again; because her mum was asking questions she didn't have answers to.

"I am going to write a few things down," Her mum stood and collected a notebook and pen from Vic's desk. "I want you to take some time to think about them."

Vic wiped her eyes on her jumper sleeve, "Maman…"

"Non, ma chérie, first you must find yourself, then the answers will come. I can not give them to you."

Fleur set the pen and notebook at the foot of the bed. "If you get hungry, come down and I'll heat up a plate for you."

Then she kissed Vic on the forehead and slipped out of the room. Vic closed her pen in the notebook before she could look at her mum's writings. She already had a pretty good idea of what it said, and she didn't think she could handle those questions right now.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Vic waited until everyone was off at work and school before she left her room the next day. It was easier to not have everyone trying to cheer her up, or asking about a wedding she didn't even know if she wanted now, or why she wasn't wearing her engagement ring all the time.

She'd taken it off on her drive home that Friday and every time she'd tried to put it back on she felt sick. She didn't deserve to wear it. She didn't deserve to wear something that signified love and commitment.

Vic tried to distract herself from that train of thought with making breakfast, but fate had other plans. Sean's picture lit up her phone screen as his call came through.

"Hi," She tried to animate her voice to sound happier than she felt.

"Hey, Vic, I need a favor. Mike is tricking out the Datsun for me today and I need a lift to my flat after work."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Vic forced a smile. "What time do you need me there?"

"I'm thinking of skiving off early and heading out at three."

"Ok," Vic took a deep breath, "Do you want to get dinner together?"

"Why don't we make something at my place?" Sean's voice was warm, and Vic felt her guilt trying to eat her from the inside out.

"That sounds wonderful. I'll see you at three."

"Thanks," Sean disconnected the call.

Vic looked down at the screen as she gripped her phone tightly. Should she tell him tonight? At least he wouldn't have a car to go anywhere if he was angry. Which meant he wouldn't end up with another speeding citation. That would be good. And he'd have to take an Uber if he wanted to go to a pub. That would also be good. But these good things didn't seem to do anything to ease the anxiety and dread that filled her like bile pushing at the back of her throat.

Breakfast now seemed like an unwise decision.

Vic settled for a cup of tea and retreated to her room again. Her notebook caught her eye and Vic decided there was no way she could feel worse right now, she might as well see what her mum had written down.

Her mum's crisp penmanship was daunting as Vic read the few lines.

You and your desires are important. You are a good person. You are brave. You must decide your life's story.

Vic blinked. None of that was what she'd expected.

Vic had expected more of the questions that she had no answers to. The same questions that ran through her brain constantly. The ones that she could hear distant echoes of the answers, and they were terrifying. And even more terrifying were the questions she wouldn't even allow herself to start to ask, because they held answers that made her lungs collapse and her eyes see stars.

But these four lines were strange. Firstly, because they weren't all true, Vic didn't think a cheating person could also be a good person. And secondly, because they weren't what Vic would have found helpful right now. Right now, she needed to know what to do, not have a list of things her mum thought about her.

Vic tried to put it from her mind and opened up her draft of her book again. If only she really could escape to this world she'd built. She could function there better than she could here, at least she liked to think she could. But who knew, maybe she'd find that she was as much a failure in her own world as she was in the real one. The fact that she could tell something was off with her story only reinforced that feeling. Vic spent the next several hours digging through her notes in her manuscript trying to find what was wrong to no avail. She'd done this a few dozen times before already, and like those previous failed attempts, this time around came up with no improvement.

She'd been planning to see if Ted wanted to read through it for her and try to help her get to the bottom of the story's problem, but that plan was obviously out the window.

When it was time to go, she put the manuscript on the back burner again, took a deep breath as she slid her engagement ring back on her hand, and jumped in her car to collect Sean.

Seeing him waiting by the curb made her stomach hurt.

"Hey," Vic smiled as he climbed in. "Do we need to stop at the market on the way?"

"Change of plans," Sean grinned. "Mike finished early, we need to go grab the Datsun, and then I'm taking her to the track."

Vic blinked.

"Oh, alright, where is Mike's? You've never taken me there."

"You know what, it's hard to get to. Why don't you let me drive?"

Vic gripped the steering wheel.

"I'm sure if you just tell me where to go, I can get us there without any problem."

Sean traced her chin and tipped his sunglasses down this nose. "Come on, don't be that girl."

Vic could feel her guilt trying to eat her stomach while her anger tried to burn through her chest. But rather than let either emotion vent out, she undid her seatbelt.

"There's my girl," Sean kissed her, but Vic pulled back and opened the car door.

"We better hurry so we can get your car to the track. Do you want to get dinner after?"

"That's a good idea, you should grab something and bring it to the track."

Vic stared at him after she climbed in the passenger seat.

"Aren't we going to make dinner at your flat?"

Sean pulled out of the car park.

"I'm going to need to be working out how these upgrades are working out, Vic. This is going to take the rest of the afternoon and most of tonight. Not everyone can work on a '78 510 Coupe and I only let Mike do it because he's a friend. I'm going to have to figure out everything that he's screwed up so I can fix it all this weekend."

"Dinner tonight was your idea," Vic felt her voice going shrill and tried to breathe.

"Yeah, but things changed. I still want to do dinner; I just want to do it at the track now."

Vic tried to ignore how angry she was. She tried to ignore how hurt she was. She tried to tell herself that this was her being selfish, and she needed to take an interest in Sean's interests.

She tried.

But by the time they made it to Mike's garage, she was fuming.

Sean undid his seatbelt and Vic locked the doors before he could get out.

"Why won't you pick a date to marry me?"

"Come on, let's not rehash this again." Sean unlocked his door but Vic hit the power lock button again.

"No! Do you even want to marry me? Why did you ask if you won't set a date?!"

"Vic, I love you," Sean tried to unlock the door again but Vic was faster.

"Then why won't you set a date?" Vic felt her volume increasing but she didn't bother to monitor it.

"Why is this so important to you? What's wrong with being engaged for a few years?"

Vic felt the air sucked out of her lungs.

Sean took advantage of her shock and escaped the car. Vic watched him walk into the garage, her driver's side door still open from where her fiancé had run.

A few years.

Those three words echoed in her mind. Sean wanted to be engaged for a few years before they set a date. Vic was sure there was someone out there who thought that was a good idea, but she was not that someone.

Slowly, she stepped out of the car. Her feet carried her inside where Sean was talking with Mike. She slid the engagement ring off her finger and grabbed his hand.

"I'll leave your key in your flat." She set the ring in his palm and turned on her heels before marching out the door.

"Vic! Wait!"

She didn't wait. And when she got into her car, she saw that Sean wasn't running after her. Just as well, he obviously didn't want to marry her, why would he actually work for this relationship?

Vic felt numb as she drove to Sean's flat. She didn't cry as she loaded all of her things into grocery sacks she'd found. She didn't flinch as she left her key on his bedside table. She didn't bemoan when she closed his door for the last time.

It wasn't until she was driving home that Vic realized she hadn't told Sean that she'd kissed Ted.

The numbness made her brash and she popped in her headset and called him.

He sent her straight to voicemail, which seemed to solidify Vic's resolve. If he couldn't be bothered with her call then she wouldn't be bothered to tell him this properly.

"Hey, I was going to tell you tonight that I kissed someone that wasn't you a couple of weeks ago. I don't think that matters much now since you didn't want to marry me, but I felt like you should know."

She hung up and suddenly hot angry tears started falling down her face. Her sobbing came in short gasps and Vic had to pull the car to the side of the road because she couldn't see through her tears.

It was all so messed up!

Why had she even been with Sean? Why had she put up with all the things that drove her mad for so long? Why hadn't she been brave enough to get out of the relationship when she'd first realized she was unhappy? Why had she tried to convince herself she was happy?

But what hurt worse than anything else was that in all of this mess, she'd lost Ted, she'd lost her best friend.

When she'd finally cried herself out, Vic drove home. First, she went through and slowly removed all traces of her and Sean together. She deleted every picture of them together. She pulled down every mention of him in every post. She unfollowed, unfriended, and blocked him on every platform. Then she took her wedding binder, pictures of her and Sean that she'd printed off, and everything that reminded her of him and threw it all into the fireplace. She sat on the floor with her knees against her chest and watched the flames slowly smolder everything she'd wanted to destroy.

"Vicky?"

Vic looked up at her dad's concerned face.

"It's over," she sniffed, "and you were right."

Bill was instantly on the floor next to Vic, his strong arms holding her close.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"Why am I so stupid?" Vic curled into her dad's embrace and let the tears fall again.

"You aren't stupid. We all have moments like these."

"You don't," Vic sniffed. "You do everything right."

Bill laughed. "Victoire, look at my face and my arms. That motorcycle accident before I married your mum was me being brash. I went for a ride on the beach without my helmet, and I over judged a corner. I'm lucky I only ended up with the scars. Trust me, Vic, I'm far from perfect."

"You didn't get engaged to someone you had been trying to convince yourself you loved."

"No, but you figured it out and called it off," Bill squeezed her shoulders.

"Did Maman tell you what I said last night?" Vic figured her dad would be disappointed in her for what she'd done. She had been avoiding him for fear of what he'd think.

"She did, and I can see where you were coming from."

Vic's head shot up, "What?"

"Well, when someone isn't loved by the person kissing them, it makes sense that when a different person comes along who does love them and does treat them the way they deserve, that they'd be inclined to kiss that new person."

Vic curled further in on herself, "It wasn't fair to Ted, though."

"No," Bill stroked her back, "but I would take some time to figure out how you really feel before you go running back to Ted."

"Ted's great!" Vic defended.

Bill chuckled, "He may be, but you just called off your engagement, Vicky, and you quit your job. Take some time to sort out what you want your life to look like before you go jumping into anything, especially a relationship."

Vic rested her head against her dad's chest and nodded.

"Alright," Vic sighed as the flames turned the last of the items in the fireplace into black charcoal. "I'll take some time to figure myself out."

Bill kissed the top of her head.

"You've got this, Vicky, I know you do."

And for the first time in months, Vic thought maybe she might be able to at least do one or two things right.

#Endeavor #tedoire #tedoire fanfiction #tedoire au #tedoire muggle au #teddy x vic #teddy x victoire #teddy lupin x victoire weasley #teddy lupin #victoire weasley #muggle au #next gen au #next gen fanfic #next generation #next generation muggle au #romance #fluff #coworkers romance #harry potter fanfiction

[ruffbun]

Let's talk about Tony Stark

Now, this is a matter of my opinion, and I I'm not saying you have to love Tony, but I think he should afford more respect than is given to him by some people.

So the most common thing I hear from antis is "Well he sold weapons", "He was a warmonger" , etc.

First of all that's from the FIRST movie, why are you still on that bullshit? But let's talk about it anyway.

"He made that choice he could have stopped" "He just wanted to profit off of it he only cares about himself!"

May I remind you, that Tony inherited head of the Stark Industries company at a very young age, an age young enough where, honestly, I couldn't even dream of running a multibillion dollar compsny. I'm nearly 22 and can barely feed myself. So let's think about that, how stressful that would be for him, on top of dealing with loss and grief over his parents. Now, let's add in another key factor that people seem to forget about. Obadiah Stane. Think for a moment here, who was REALLY running things? Who was REALLY profiteering off of the war? Was it Tony? A kid who just wanted to pursue his science career and grow and learn and grieve for his parents ? Or was it this man, who he looked up to as a second father, who he TRUSTED to help him and make all of the big decisions for him? How do we even know that Tony was aware of what was going on behind the scenes? When you trust someone like that, you don't check in on them 24-7 to make sure they're doing things the right way, hell especially if you're young and naive.

People like to forget that it wasn't really all just Tony doing these things. They forget that he was a puppet on Obadiahs strings. A man he loved and trusted and was betrayed and backstabbed by.

Now let's move past that point for now. Let's go to "Oh he's arrogant" "He's a Playboy" etc.

Let me remind you again of some things. Let me remind you that he was young. That he was grieving, and let me also remind you who he had as a father 😒

I'll also lend you some information from personal experience, that kids with parents who often neglect to give them the attention they need, are always going to try to fill that void in some other way. There's a very very good possibility that Tony is such a "Playboy" because he is still looking for all of that love and affection he missed out on as a kid. Think about how much he grew as a person once he finally started to get it.

Now, moving on. "Oh he makes so many mistakes!" "He fucks up all the time!!"

Don't we all?

We all make mistakes, we all fuck up sometimes, just because his mistakes may be bigger or more public than ours sometimes, doesn't make him an awful horrible person! Everyone makes mistakes!! Including the other Avengers.

However we elect to ignore and forgive everyone else's mistakes, yet crucify Tony for his. That just isn't fair.

I'll also remind you that every "big mistake" Tony has made, had good intentions. All of Tony's mishaps have come from him trying too hard to help and protect his friends, loved ones, and the entire world. All of these things he's done "sO" wrong, were him trying so hard to fix what he had previously messed up. He doesn't always go about things in the best ways but he's trying his fucking best to protect people. To help people. And I don't think anyone ever stops to think about this.

Tony is a very passionate and emotional man, and yes sometimes that blows up in his face, but Steve is equally as passionate and emotional, yet we put him up on this godly pedestal of "can do no wrong". If we're going to bitch about people's mistakes, bitch about everyone's. Not just one man's.

Now I've also heard people complain about Tony being a "typical heterosexual white male"

Is... Steve not.. also this? Clint? Thor? Bruce? No you just choose to dislike Tony because he has what? The most money? Because he *looks* like the men we fear in today's society? Because he has emotions? Because he gets cranky sometimes?? I don't get it. I don't get why we choose to complain about one man and ignore everyone else. Complain equally, or not at all. Don't crucify one man for his wrong doings and ignore everyone else's.

And yes, these things have lessened up quite a bit since the release of Endgame. However, I am saddened that it took Tony giving up his LIFE in order to protect his friends, family, loved ones, and all of humanity, for people to realize that he is, in fact, a good man.

We can also talk about "oh well he was mean to Peter." As I do recall, Tony was harsh on Peter in that ONE scene in homecoming, because he wanted Peter to be BETTER than him, he wanted Peter to be SMARTER than him. He wanted to keep Peter from making the same mistakes as he did and he wanted to be there for Peter in a way that Howard never was for him.

Now we can talk about "oh well he tried to kill Bucky"

Oooh boy. Okay listen, Bucky Barnes is my absolute favorite character in the MCU. I adore him and would kiss the ground he walks on. However, I'm not going to give Tony shit for reacting the way he did.

Here Tony is, trying to help his friends again, trying to right his wrongs, fix his mistakes, etc. And he finds out that this man, this man that his best friend has become a criminal to protect, is the one responsible for his parents deaths.

Now yes, Bucky was brainwashed by HYDRA, and no, it was not Bucky's fault for doing what he did. And given proper time to grieve and reflect, Tony would have known that too. However, Tony did not receive any time to grieve, reflect, and come to terms with what was going on. All he knew in that moment was 'this strange man in front of me is the one responsible for my life of hurt and pain and the loss of people I love dearly, and my lack of childhood'

Don't come here and tell me you would not have also panicked and lashed out in that moment. Stop berating human beings with emotions for reacting to harmful situations like you're a perfect angel and would never react that way under duress. You're lying if you say you wouldn't have at least been angry.

So when it boils down to it. I'm not saying the man is perfect, I'm not saying he's never made dumb decisions or stupid mistakes. But what I am saying is that he deserves a lot more respect than some people give him.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Asks and inbox are open for further discussion if you wish to communicate respectfully.

#it took me 32 ktinutes to write this #pro tony stark #tony stark #anthony edward stark #anthony stark #iron man #civil war #CACW #endgame #avengers endgame #personal opinions and reflections #character analysis #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe

[kutemouse]

And Then He Was Gray (Part Four)

Disclaimer: I edited the pic I used for my header, but the OG pic belongs to BTS & BigHit.

Author’s Note: PLEASE be responsible like Y/n. Do NOT drink and drive, or let your friends drink and drive. Always have someone sober, who hasn’t been drinking, drive. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Age Recommendation: 21+ (Not just a recommendation, kuties!)

Warnings: F*cking swears, consumption of alcohol, Jungkook being an ass, jokes about sex, Soyeon being a cuddly drunk, a tad bit o’ angst.

LOTS OF FILTHY SMUT including, but not limited to, hair pulling, the giving/receiving of hickeys, slight pain, groping, touching, BDSM themes, slight degradation, the giving/receiving of a lap dance, fingering, exhibitionism if you squint, possessiveness, mentions of oral… yeah, basically I need a whole gallon of holy water to drink after I finish this, okay 😂 Although this is vanilla compared to what’s coming, js 👀

Word Count: 2,906 (whew!)

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

And Then He Was Gray (Jin One-Shot, Smut, Fluff) Part Four

Jungkook was standing there, leaning against the wall with folded arms and a knowing smirk dancing over his lips.

“The fuck do you want?” Jin said, still holding me close, hands resting easily over my ass.

“Just came down to see why it got so… quiet.”

“You’re one to talk. Haven’t you been fucking your girl for the past five minutes?”

Jungkook scoffed, dramatically holding a hand to his chest in mock-pain. “You wound me, hyung. And, not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve been fucking her for the past hour.”

I shook my head in disgust. I could have gone my whole life without hearing that.

Jin smirked. “When you say fucking, you actually mean sleeping, right?”

“Ha ha,” Jungkook shot back sarcastically. “Look, I just came down here to see what everyone’s plans were. If you all want to stay over, that’s fine by me. Except maybe Taehyung and Yuqi… I swear to god, the last time they stayed over, they kept everyone awake the whole night with how fucking loud they were.”

I grimaced. Okay, scratch what I said before. That was something I could’ve gone my whole life without hearing. “Fuck off Jungkook,” Jin said nonchalantly, nuzzling his cheek against the top of my head. “You’re grossing out my girl here.”

I looked at Jin in surprise. Did he just call me… his girl?

A bunch of voices suddenly floated up from the backyard, announcing the arrival of Soyeon and the others stumbling into the kitchen. The din came to a screeching halt as they noticed mine and Jin’s close proximity, his hands still resting over my bottom. “Y/n!” Soyeon gasped.

I rolled my eyes and gently pushed Jin away, sliding down from the counter. I grabbed my best friend’s hand and led her into the hall. “Okay, you need to spill right the fuck now,” she hissed as we went back into the guest bedroom.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” I retorted, grabbing my clothes and going into the bathroom to change.

Soyeon squealed. “You kissed?!”

I shushed her through the door as I pulled off the flimsy bikini and put on my own clothes. “Soyeon, all I need to know is whether you’re staying the night or not. You’re my ride, but you’ve had a lot to drink. I don’t think you should be driving right now.”

My bestie hiccuped in response. “You’re probably right,” she slurred. “Plus, Miyeon…”

I gave her a knowing smile as I came out, fully dressed. “Yeah, I know. Look, it’s okay, I’ll just call an Uber or–”

“Or I can give you a ride. I didn’t drink tonight.”

I peered past Soyeon to see Jin standing in the doorway, his gray shirt now covering his upper half, hands shoved into dark jean pockets. I swallowed hard as I remembered how easily that top rode up to expose a peek of his toned body.

“Are you sure? You don’t have–”

“She’d love that,” Soyeon said quickly, cutting me off. “Thanks, Jin.”

He smiled. “Anytime, So-So.”

Gently taking my hand, Jin led me back to the kitchen where we made our good-byes. Soojin and Minnie pulled me into tight hugs, saying they’d get my number from Soyeon and text me. I also hugged Miyeon. “Take care of my bestie, okay?”

“You got it,” she said, her pretty brown eyes sparkling mischievously as she smiled.

Namjoon and Yoongi both gave me awkward side-hugs, but Jungkook’s bear-hug nearly squeezed the life out of me. “Come over any time,” he said, holding me at arm’s length. “You’re part of the fam now.”

“Thanks,” I said, shooting him a grin. Despite feeling left out at the beginning of the night, at least I made new friends by the end of it. I only hoped those friendships would last.

The last one I said good-bye to was Soyeon. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Be safe, okay?” she muttered, swaying a little bit. “Call me in the morning, and you know, wrap it up.”

“God, So-So,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“But I love you.” She stared up at me with doe eyes, her lower lip jutting out in a pout.

I sighed. “Fine, I love you too.”

That turned her frown upside-down, and she grinned, her large, dark eyes glazed over from too much to drink. “See you tomorrow?”

“Of course. I'll text you."

I turned away, and Jin took my hand, intertwining our fingers together as we walked out the door into the front yard. He opened the door of his gray truck for me, helping me up into the seat before going 'round, climbing into his seat, and settling behind the wheel. “Ready?” he asked.

I nodded, but truthfully, I wasn’t ready at all. I didn’t want this night to be over. Disappointment set in as Jin handed me his phone with a GPS app pulled up. “Type in your address,” he murmured, letting his fingers linger over mine just a moment too long. Well, I guess this was it. Once he took me home, I didn’t know if I’d ever get another chance with this guy. So much for my one-night stand.

“How do you know Soyeon?” he asked, breaking the silence that settled in between us as he drove.

“I’ve known her since I was little,” I replied. “Our moms were best friends.”

“That’s cool.”

I stayed silent, not really knowing what to say. Jin looked over at me and smirked as his eyes slid back to the road. “So what university do you want to attend?”

“Look, you don’t have to do this,” I sighed.

“Do what?”

“Pretend to be into me.”

“Who says I’m not into you?”

“Jin, it’s okay. I know what happened tonight was a one-time thing. You don’t have to pretend you're interested in me or anything.”

He scoffed in response, rolling his eyes. “I see my reputation precedes me.”

I uncomfortably fiddled with my fingers in my lap. “It’s not like that. I just want to be clear about where we stand. You don’t have to coddle me to make me feel better or whatever. I don’t want to be like other girls you’ve met at kick-backs like tonight.”

Jin glanced at me, his gaze dark and intense. “You won’t be.”

He suddenly pulled his truck over, stopping in front of an apartment building. “Hey, this isn’t my place," I said.

“You’re right,” Jin said. He took my hand, causing me to look up into those piercing, brown eyes. “It’s mine.”

My mouth parted in surprise. I practically felt the change in Jin as his eyes smoldered and his mouth contorted into a smirk. “Get over here,” he growled. In a flash, I unbuckled my seatbelt and clambered over to straddle his lap.

Once again, he pressed his forehead to mine, staring into my eyes, our breath coming out in pants, intermingling with each exhale. Jin reached up and ran a hand through my hair, the strands winding between his fingers. I sighed, and at the noise, Jin suddenly curled his fingers into a fist and pulled. I let out a gasp at the strange sensation of pain and pleasure mixing into one.

Jin leaned forward, his lips tickling the shell of my ear. “Such a good girl.”

He kissed me then, hard and fast, not giving me a single second to breathe as he shoved his tongue into my mouth, invading my cavern in a way that had my core wet in an instant. But he didn’t stop there. He pressed his lips to my jaw, tugging harder on my hair to force my head back, giving him full access to my neck. Alternating between sucking and nipping, he attacked the skin there until I cried out from the sting.

“Jin,” I moaned. “God, Jin, right there.”

“That’s right, baby girl,” he growled into my skin. “Say my name.”

Jin let his other hand roam everywhere as we continued to make out, first gripping my hip so hard I knew it was going to bruise, then squeezing my ass, then meandering around to my front where he groped my still covered breasts.

“Why are your clothes still on?” he grunted, suddenly pulling away. It was then he noticed my gray skirt riding up around my waist, exposing the black panties I wore underneath.

I nearly covered my face from embarrassment, but he grabbed my wrists, stopping me. His fierce gaze bore into me, exposing every want, every desire, every raw, animalistic emotion I felt. It was at that moment, I was absolutely sure he knew. He knew my deepest, darkest secret that not even Soyeon was aware of.

When it came to sexual needs, I absolutely wanted to be dominated in every meaning of the word. Inside, I was a complete and utter submissive, who relished in the feeling of relinquishing control in the most pleasurable way possible. Most guys I knew wouldn’t be able to handle my secret or accept that part of me, so I kept it hidden. To them, I was just the quiet girl who they had no idea hid such sexual prowess.

Yet even if they did know what I secretly desired, they wouldn’t understand the dynamics of the type of dom/sub relationship I wanted. It would go far beyond just sex. There would be an equal level of trust and control between me and my partner. They’d understand I’m not willing to lay down and be fucked by just anyone with an ego and a bossy mouth. My partner would see that without me, the submissive, there is no them, the dominant, and in that sense, we would be equal.

At this precise moment, though, I didn’t mind so much that my secret was exposed. I was ready to finally experiment with this side of me. I only cared about pleasing Jin, being his good girl, and getting to experience the pure bliss his dominant attitude promised.

Jin showed just a moment of tenderness, reaching up and stroking a long finger down my cheek before going back to the delightfully dirty and rough. He captured my mouth in his, completely dominating it fully with his tongue, before pulling back. “Color?” he panted.

“G-Green,” I huffed, still breathless from his kiss.

“Any lines you don’t want crossed?”

I thought a moment before shaking my head. If I had any lines to cross, I could always stop him by saying red.

Jin poked his tongue out and dragged it over his bottom lip. “Do I have your consent for what’s about to happen?”

I nodded.

He yanked at my hair, making me yelp. “Words, baby girl,” he growled through gritted teeth.

“Yes, yes!” I cried.

He released his hold before grabbing my hand and placing it on his crotch, forcing me to feel how rock hard he was. “See this?” he snapped, his dark eyes flickering downward. “You did this. You’ve been doing this to me since the second I laid eyes on you.”

“I-I’m sorry, Sir,” I said, shakily still trying to catch my breath.

“Sorry won’t cut it. What are you going to do about it?”

“I-I–”

He chuckled darkly. “Oh, sweet baby girl. You don’t know what to do with this huge cock? You don’t know how to please Sir?”

At his words, I finally let myself slip deep into the mindspace only reserved for my most sinful of fantasies. “No, Sir, please,” I begged. “Give me a chance, I’ll show you just how good I am.”

Jin clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea.”

He gripped my hips and spun me around so I was looking at the street outside the glass of his windshield. “I have been thinking about this ass,” he said, tracing the shell of my ear with the tip of his tongue. “Since I saw it in that fucking bikini.”

He yanked my knees apart, spreading me out. “Hands on the steering wheel, baby.”

I obeyed, gripping the leather-bound wheel until my knuckles turned white. I knew it would be the only tether to reality I would get. Jin lifted my skirt up, teasing the skin of my inner thighs with the tips of his soft fingers, gliding up and down, up and down until my eyes rolled to the back of my head from how crazy he was driving me.

Suddenly, he grasped my hips once more, causing me to shudder, and moved them in circles, grinding my ass down on his no-doubt aching cock. Jin groaned as he finally got a taste of the pleasure he’d been craving, and I felt my heart explode with glee. His satisfaction was my satisfaction, his exhilarated grunts and moans causing my juices to drip down.

He let go of my hips, but I continued to circle them at a slow, steady pace, driving him as mad with desire as I was. He put his now-free hands to good use, snaking them around to my front, first squeezing my breasts before sliding down to cup my panty-clad sticky core. He rubbed the pad of his middle finger in a circular motion over my bundle of nerves, causing me to gasp loudly and jerk my knees back together.

“Uh, uh, uh,” he scolded, his other hand gripping my thigh and pulling my legs apart once more. “None of that. You don’t want to be punished, do you?”

“No, Sir,” I practically sobbed as his finger continued torturing my clothed clit.

As a way of trying to make it up to him, I ground my ass into him harder, earnestly trying to win his approval back. He sighed in bliss. “God, Y/n, where the fuck have you been all my life?”

“Not Y/n,” I said, breathless from my efforts.

I could almost see the smirk that spread over his perfect, pink lips at my request. Jin stopped touching me, and slid those fingers up to pinch the elastic band of my panties, drawing it back and snapping it against my skin. Goosebumps broke out all over my body. “Alright then, baby girl,” he growled. “Lean back, and remember, keep those hands on that steering wheel… or else." I shivered, letting out something between a moan and a whimper.

He drew the band of my panties back once more, but this time, he slid his other hand down inside them and dipped his middle finger inside of me, causing me to moan. Next thing I knew, Jin was sliding the pad of that finger up and down my sensitive bundle of nerves, slick from my own wetness. I gasped and bucked back into him. “Stay still,” he warned.

He continued fingering me, teasing my clit until it swelled with stiffness, before finally plunging that middle finger inside of me. Curling it until the pressure was just right, he moved it in and out of me at a slow yet pleasing pace, adding his ring finger and doubling my pleasure. “You like that, baby?” he said.

I nodded, too lost in my own pleasure to speak. “You like me stretching you out?” he continued. “Like me fingering you where anyone could look in here and see?”

That caused my eyes to shoot open in panic. I glanced up and down the street, but didn’t see anyone. It was really late, after all. I smirked as I realized what he was doing. “See what?” I gasped, beginning to move with him.

Jin plunged them in deeper at a more rapid pace, punishing me for daring to question him. “See that you’re mine,” he growled. “See that this pretty pussy is mine. Mine to do with as I please.”

“And?” I asked, his dirty mouth helping to soak his hand further.

“And see that no one else can make you this wet with just their fingers.”

The ripple of pleasure I felt since the moment we began was rapidly rising into a tidal wave, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before it washed over me. “Will they see anything else?” I asked breathlessly, now moving my hips at the same pace as his fingers, grinding into them.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “They’ll see how hard I can make you cum.”

At his filthy words, he pressed the heel of his palm into my aching clit, and I cried out. Every muscle in my body clenched as that tidal wave of pleasure not only washed over me, but completely drowned me. My mouth fell open, my eyes rolling back as I reached my ultimate peak. “Jin, Jin, oh god, Jin!”

“That’s it, baby girl. Scream my name. Let the world know who this pussy belongs to.”

“You, just you,” I sobbed, falling back into him as I came down. My entire body was covered with a thin sheen of sweat. I heard slurping sounds paired with satisfied moans, and I knew he was licking my essence from his fingers. Jin grasped my jaw and turned my head, kissing me fiercely from behind, forcing me to taste myself.

“God, I nearly came in my pants,” he gasped, pulling back. “You are so fucking hot.”

I wiggled my ass, feeling that his member was still hard as marble. I twisted around so I was straddling him again and looked into his dark eyes. “Can we go inside?” I asked meekly. “I want… I want…”

Jin smirked, falling easily back into the scene. “I guess. Since you were such a good girl and you came so well for me, I’ll let you taste my cock.”

“Oh, I don’t just want to taste it,” I murmured, looking deep into his eyes. “I want to fucking choke on it.”

Jin let out a feral sound, something between a groan and a growl. “Well, then… What the hell are we waiting for?”

I couldn’t open the car door fast enough, scrambling to pop the handle then clamber down off his lap. Jin chuckled as he followed. “Eager little girl, aren’t you?”

Not able to resist, I leaned up and pecked him on the lips, breaking the mood for the last time. “I want you,” I said seriously, gazing into his eyes.

Jin’s mouth parted open at my words, but after a moment, he shook his head, regaining his composure. He intertwined my finger between his. “Like I said, what the hell are we waiting for?”

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Part Five is finally here!

#bts #bts jin #jin #kim seokjin #seokjin #bts smut #smut #bts smut fluff #jin oneshot #bts oneshot #bts imagine #oneshot #bts au #bts fanfiction #smut fanfiction #original header #jin smut #kim soekjin smut #jin x yn #jin x reader #jin x oc #jin x you #bts x gidle #bts x (g)idle #gidle #(g)idle #(g)i-dle #soyeon #best friend soyeon

[idratherdreamofjune]

Apen or Faramir, Endeavour "Neverland" or "Coda", Leverage "The Wedding Job" or "The Juror #6 Job", Chara's wardrobe or Melete's wardrobe, beaches or prairies, The Perilous Gard or Fire and Hemlock, St. Claire or Alvarado siblings, swords or shields, Agatha Christie or Ngaio Marsh, "Gutair" or "Gosh", leaving or coming home, LotR or SW (prequel) costume design, Avidan or Velvare, Enel or Aquil for creating a distraction, Sutcliff or McKillip, Bhatair or Berlyne in a tight spot, & Ansam or Melly.

YIKES

Okay - first a disclaimer I should have included in the tags when I reblogged that prompt post: sadly this will not be responded to in graphics (I’ve seen a lot of “this or that” graphic responses and those are great but I don’t have the guts to take that on. Though. I could try to do one random graphic response per ask/asker.... Hum...

[Prompt post]-->[Make me choose]

Back to the ask at hand: quite a lot of tough ones!!! There will be spoilers.

Apen or Faramir - sorry sports fans, Apen is really an excellent young man but there may not even be a single character who is better than Faramir in my mind.

Endeavour “Neverland” or “Coda” - “Neverland” is not one of my preferred episodes even taken alone, as the subject matter is too dark for me personally. Meanwhile “Coda” functions as “the usual, not to say obligatory,” crime show bank robbery episode. XD That’s a good thing, because I enjoy bank robbery episodes. :P Of course the ending with Joan leaving is ROUGH but she lives so it’s okay; there’s always next season!

Leverage “The Wedding Job” or “The Juror #6 Job” - These are both good, but while I really enjoyed the mafia spoofs and fake FBI act from Parker and Hardison in “The Wedding Job”, courtroom drama takes the cake for me. :)

Chara’s wardrobe or Melete’s wardrobe - probably Melete’s, because Chara defaults to a more girly, pink look. Melete also tends to be more eyecatching and interesting (if unpractical).

beaches or prairies - beaches! As long as it’s not crowded (I’d take a private prairie over a packed beach any day).

The Perilous Gard or Fire and Hemlock - Perilous Gard all the way!! Fire and Hemlock is certainly a good book (and I need to reread it for sure) but The Perilous Gard got into my heart immediately and is dear favorite. Kate and Christopher are somewhere near the top on my nebulous list of ships.

St. Claire or Alvarado siblings - !!! After a lot of consideration, I’m picking the St. Claires. I think. They need more love (not from fans - just in general).

swords or shields - my first instinct is to go with swords, but maybe that’s just because they get more screentime (or page space hah). Sting and Anduril come to mind, and of course The Sword of Martin the Warrior! However I actually am especially attached to Captain American and Wonder Woman specifically because they use shields more than swords/guns/etc. (though, of course Captain America uses his offensively quite a lot. It’s the concept, okay?! XD )

Agatha Christie or Ngaio Marsh - definitely Ngaio Marsh. She can be a bit hit-or-miss (her penchant for the theater and formula for wrapping up endings are a bit worn), but some of her books are almost comparable to Dorothy Sayers mysteries - while Agatha Christie never comes close, in my opinion. Christie always seems a bit flippant about crime, even when she’s trying to be serious. And while Christie’s settings are good, Marsh’s are sometimes magnificent. Also I think Ngaio Marsh’s secondary characters go deeper than Christie’s. Anyway. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, as they say. :”P

“Gutair” or “Gosh” - if that second one is Gudrun and Joshua, that’s a no from me. The main thing I’ve always been disappointed in Joshua over is how interested he was in Gudrun while Bhatair was still ... in the picture (I was going to say “eating” but that’s just weird and vague). And once he wasn’t, they sure got married awfully quick. :/ Plus, despite all the tragedy, “Gutair” has my support. 

leaving or coming home - COMING HOME. Leaving has almost nothing to recommend it (except that it sets you up to come home at some point). I suppose if one were to leave WITH family then that would be okay. But I haven’t gotten to experience that lately.

Costume design: LotR or SW Prequels - Both have their good points, but based on sheer wearability of my favorite pieces in each, LotR wins by a long shot. Padme’s outfits are my favorite in SW, but by and large they look far from comfortable-for-everyday, let alone adventure-ready.

Avidan or Velvare - Avidan, because Velvare constantly has me wondering why I even care about him, whereas Avidan is a lonely prince doing the best he can despite being raised by that jerk. Avidan is making mistakes but I believe he’s trying to do what is best for the country, and I also believe hope he wants to do better. Velvare has yet to convince me of that, and seems driven more by his own interests, affected by whatever phase the moon is in (I mean, come on, he’s made some strange decisions). He’s shown some remorse but has yet to try to change, as far as I can see (arguably Avidan is in the same place in that regard, which is why I said “hope” hah).

Enel or Aquil for creating a distraction - !!! Another hard one, but more entertaining to consider. Seems like six of one, half a dozen of another, to me. XD Aquil seems to have a much better grasp of what he can do, curse-wise, which might come in handy. Except he frequently accidentally (? presumably) messes up on directions. Meanwhile Enel would probably go about following the plan and then end up breaking his leg or a window or accidentally tripping you. He reminds me of Sid the Sloth in Ice Age, now that I think about it. Aquil is probably the safest choice after all.

Sutcliff or McKillip - Sutcliff!!!!! McKillip’s books are good but she’s never gotten to me on an emotional level like Sutcliff. Also I can’t connect as well with her settings, they usually feel a little too castle-on-a-cloud. Enjoyable to read about, but not as livable as the landscapes in Sutcliff’s books.

Bhatair or Berlyne in a tight spot - Bhatair might be a better fighter, but I’d trust Berlyne to have my back and do what’s right, no matter what.

Ansam or Melly - Melly is sweet, and no offense meant to dog fans, but I prefer horses. Especially such a smart and loyal horse as Ansam! Too bad we haven’t seen more of him. Yet. Now, if it were Pigeondove vs. Ansam... that’s a little harder.

#The Silver Eye #this or that #meta #Valia #asked